#You would not have survived the ''we upload one page at a time at a rate of one page a week and you just have to deal with that'' winter

[booksnbolts]

and remember kids! If you complain about update lengths on Webtoon, you would not have survived the pre-Webtoon webcomic era.

[samkerrworshipper]

safe and sound | leah williamson x reader

themes of suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, self harm, depression, anxiety, angst, 4000 words

sorry this is messy asf and not spell checked whatsoever cause i’m uploading this at 1am lol but got this from a request and felt like i had to finish it before i start the lucy smut that i’m starting so here it is my loves xoxo

I blamed myself for getting myself into this position. Maybe if I’d been a better friend or a better player or maybe just if I hadn;t of woken up on the left side of the bed this morning. Maybe it would all be different if we hadn’t just won a home Euros, maybe I wouldn’t feel the same pressure from the media, maybe I wouldn’t have felt so goddamn anxious to go anywhere. Maybe if I hadn't transferred from Barca I’d feel safer, maybe if I wasn’t so focused on my career I would have seen the warning signs. I hadn’t though, hadn’t seen the way that I felt so fucking tired after every session, even the easier ones. Hadn’t noticed the fact that I wasn’t sleeping anymore and that I was always checking social media to see what people were saying about my most recent game. I hadn’t noticed that I was picking at my nail beds again until they were a bloody mess. Hadn’t noticed that the accidental nicks along my legs from my razor had slowly become less accidental. Hadn’t noticed how absolutely broken I had been from the inside out until I was sitting on top of my apartment car garage contemplating everything.

The sun was setting slowly, the yellows and pinks and oranges all mixing like a starburst tie dye across the sky. It was incredible, something I’d never really seen in London, it felt symbolic. Maybe if I hadn't been choking down my feelings for so long I wouldn’t have been looking at the concrete 30ms below me and finding comfort in it. Finding comfort in the poetic way that it spoke to me, that it made me feel a little bit more at peace. Solid, grey, concrete. Nothing special about it but there was also something so special about it. A gust of wind would probably be enough to send me plummeting onto it, my brains and blood spilling out all over it. It would never look the same after that, never be quite so mundane and normal. The bloodstain would be hard to get out, the deep maroon seeping into the stone and staining it within a matter of minutes. I thought about the headlines for a few seconds, I’d probably make the front page of about every newspaper in the nation, ‘Y/n Y/l/n, Lionesses star striker, dead at 24 due to suicide’, it sent shivers down my spine, the good kind of shivers that made you feel at peace.

I’d never really let myself get further than that, never left myself alone long enough to think of a plan, actually think about much further than sitting here. Now though I felt more alone than ever, I shouldn’t have ever left Barca, shouldn’t have left my family there. It had seemed like the right decision coming to England, to play for Arsenal, to play at home again. Now though I couldn’t have regretted my decision more, I mean I was pretty much calling Lucy or Alexia everyday telling them how desperate I was to come home, balling my eyes out to them on the phone about how much I missed our team in Spain. I was technically only on loan for a season, just to find my footing, but now I was certain that I stood no chance of surviving the whole season. The girls are lovely, Jonas was lovely, I was playing alongside the woman I loved but everything about it felt so wrong. Maybe it was the weather, or maybe it was the location but it all was just so wrong and I couldn’t tell you why. I woke up every morning, went to training, came home, ate, tried to sleep and then repeated it all. It was a strenuously depressing pattern that never ended. It was the same, day in, day out. I didn’t have my found family anymore, just myself and my girlfriend who was too occupied with being Arsenal and England’s captain to have much time for me anymore. I didn’t really blame her, she was a busy woman, and she had such a good pure heart that she used to do so much good.

Sometimes it was overwhelming to me how much she was willing to give, to other people, to anything. She put her whole heart into everything and it was something I envied so much in her. Her willingness to give up anything for the people she cared about was insane to me. She cared so deeply about everyone around her and it was truly astounding but it did leave me feeling neglected occasionally when she was busy helping out someone or busy dedicating her time to a project that needed her more than I did. I didn’t like to be needy, so maybe even though I’d been struggling for a few weeks I hadn’t flagged it with Leah.

She’d caught on somewhere along the way, stopping me one morning to check in, I’d shaken her off with a smile telling her I was just a little bit burn out with the Euro’s and changing to Arsenal, I could tell she hadn’t believed me but she also knew that I didn’t respond well to being pushed, normally she would wait me out, wait until I came crawling to her to talk but this time it felt different, like maybe this was the end. Maybe this time I wasn’t going to get around to talking to Leah, maybe this time I didn’t want her to help me, maybe I just wanted to be done with trying to be better, trying to be okay when I wasn’t. Maybe this ledge was the end of my story, maybe it was destined to be.

“Hey honey.”

The sudden voice behind me was almost enough to send me over the ledge, my knuckles turning white from clutching onto the edge. I flinched as the source of the voice climbed up onto the ledge and sat down beside me.

“Beautiful sunset, how was your day?”

It was such a mundane question and the simplicity of the statement was enough to bring me down to earth enough to realise that there were tears falling down my face and my whole body was shaking slightly.

“Reminds me of the ones in Barca. It was alright.”

Leah nodded at me, keeping her own eyes on the horizon, the sun had almost fully gone down but there were parts of it still peeking out.

“I went and saw Keira and Jill, Keira was in town to visit Millie and some of the other girls, she said she missed you, that you’d been missing her and Luce’s calls for about a week now.”

My hands were almost numb from the death grip that I had on the ledge that we were sitting on. She had distanced herself enough that we weren’t touching but close enough that I could feel her presence.

“It kept slipping my mind to call them back.”

It was all excuses, things that I was telling Leah to avoid the conversation.

“Fair enough, they’re both just worried about you, I’m worried about you sweetheart. Did you end up going for coffee with Katie this morning?”

I knew she was asking me the questions as a distraction technique, new she’d been taught it from Lucy when I’d moved here, the same stuff Lucy had been taught from my therapist. I knew that subconsciously but for some reason it worked every single time, without fail.

“Felt sick.”

“She called me, said you’d bailed last minute and asked me to check in with you for her, to tell you that you guys would have to reschedule. What did you eat for lunch?”

I could feel my legs kicking out against the solid concrete below my feet, I was averting Leah’s eye contact with everything that I could, keeping my eyes on my feet or the sky that was gradually getting darker.

“Felt sick, wasn’t hungry. Why are you here? I thought you had that dinner thing with Alex.”

It was the first question that I’d asked in the conversation, my curiosity taking over slightly.

“I came to check in with you, you weren’t answering my texts or calls and I was worried you were sick, so I came to check in before heading off to Alex’s, it’s unlike you to not be on your phone.”

I nodded, it was a fairly good explanation and it made sense but it also annoyed me so much because Leah showing up here was fucking with everything.

“You can go to Alex’s, I feel fine.”

“I love you, you know that right?”

Leah’s words hung heavy in the space between us.

“I know Lee.”

I rubbed at the tears that were drying up on my face with the sleeve of my hoodie, I was still trembling slightly but my tears had come to a slow.

“If anything ever happened to you I’d be beside myself.”

I felt my two front teeth falling to my lip, clutching it between my teeth and biting down on it.

“Lee, I’m fine.”

“No you’re not angel, and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s okay for you to not be doing okay. We wouldn’t be sitting here if everything was fine, how about we get down from here, yeah? We can head down to your apartment, or my house if you want. We’ll go see the dogs, we can talk if you want, or we can call your therapist, or Ale, or we can just cuddle in bed, whatever you need.”

I shook my head almost immediately.

“Leah I need you to leave me alone, please, just leave, go home, go hang out with Alex, just leave me.”

“I can’t do that sweetheart and you know it, and if you can’t get down from here then you know that I won’t hesitate to call 999 if it's what I have to do to keep you safe. I love you Y/n, but I will not love you to death. So you can either get down from here by yourself or with my help, or with the help of a policeman, those are your options.”

It was the stern Leah that was now coming out now, the Leah that came out when she needed to help a teammate who was struggling but wouldn’t admit it, the Leah who was relentless and would do anything to protect the people she loved.

“I can’t do this anymore, I can’t fucking deal with this anymore.”

That was when I broke, tears and sobs cascading from my eyes and mouth.

“I know sweetheart, and I am so sorry that I didn’t realise that it had gotten this bad, I am so sorry for that. Let me make it up to you, let me take you home and I can take time off, we can both take time off, travel, whatever you need. Y/n/n, I can’t not do life without you, so let’s get down from here, let’s work this out at home.”

I was at a crossroads, on one hand I was very much so aware of the fact that I could jump right now, that Leah couldn’t stop that, I also knew that I wouldn’t do it with Leah here, the guilt of making her watch it would eat at me too much. So eventually, I was going to have to get down but for right now I couldn't, I needed to hold on to this for a little bit before having to get down and face reality.

“I’m not going to jump, I just need a few more minutes here.”

“I don’t know if I trust you right now honey, no offence, but I’m looking out for you.”

I nodded, it was fair judgement, I probably wouldn’t trust me either in her position.

“You can hold onto me if it helps, I just need some time here.”

Leah conceded to me, but wrapped her arm securely around my waist, moving herself so she was flush against me and holding me tightly against her body.

“How was Keira?”

“She was good, misses you, her and Lucy are good, I think Keira is getting the sense that Lucy might be tiptoeing around proposing. Apparently she’s been very secretive and antsy, typical Lucy fashion, I told her I knew nothing. Jill made me promise that we’d meet up with her, she says she misses my better half. I picked up Scout from the groomers, you should see the hair cut they gave her, just pure fluff. I went to the grocers, the fancy one that you love so much down the road, picked up all of your favourite stuff, even the stupidly expensive soup that you like. If you want we can go back to mine and you can eat it while we talk.”

She was trying to coax me away, with the promise of soup, which sounded so stupid but she knew me so well that it made me laugh a little bit.

“Can I have the soup without talking?”

“You can drink the soup first but we have to talk and you know it, whether you realise it or not it’s for the better.”

I nodded into Leah’s side, she was right, she was always right. She was so wise for her age and sometimes it felt like instead of being two years older than me she was 20.

“Let’s head home, yeah?”

I pursed my lips, still contemplating my options.

“You’re going to make me anyways, right?”

“Yeah babygirl, it’s for the best.”

I nodded at Leah, accepting defeat.

“Can you help me?”

Leah nodded at me almost immediately, getting herself down and then reaching up for me. She lifted me off of the ledge and pulled me down onto the ground beside her. The first thing she did was drape her jacket around my shivering form. She didn’t say anything else, she just immediately started walking, dragging me along towards her car and gracefully fastening the passenger seat belt around me before climbing into the driver's seat and started to drive.

The car ride was silent, I was a shivering, crying, mess. Leah was keeping up her strong facade, clearly not prepared to give me any sympathy. It wasn’t her way, she was a tough love kind of person. She gave it to you how it was and that was that. I loved her for that, I didn’t like people who bull shitted you with false sympathies and sweetness, I was a realist and so was Leah.

The drive to her house was reasonably short, she lived about a ten minute drive from my apartment or a half an hour walk. It was convenient, especially when one of us needed a little bit of space but we also wanted to be within reach of the other. When we did make it back to her house I was kind of feeling inexplicably numb, my thoughts eating at my brain and body and leaving me feeling frozen in time. Leah unbuckled me from my seat and helped me up, helped me walk through her front door before getting me seated on her couch with our dogs before walking into the kitchen to get that soup that she’d promised me.

When she did finish warming up the soup I was melting into the couch practically, our dogs, Scout and Saidee had apparently gotten the message that I needed them, so both of them were draped on top of me, it was what I needed. Leah returned with a bowl of soup and placed it down on our coffee table before sliding in next to me on the couch.

“I’d give the soup a few minutes to cool down, how about we talk until then?”

I didn’t want to talk, but it didn’t seem like I had a choice.

“What do you want to talk about?”

“How long have you been feeling not okay?”

It was a rough question, but not something that I hadn’t been expecting.

“Honestly, a few weeks, since my move here. I love you and I love being with you but being here isn’t easy for me and I’m struggling to settle in.”

Leah nodded, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy for her to hear, that’s probably why I’d avoided telling her for as long as possible. Arsenal was her family, Arsenal ran in her blood and I knew that there was a chance she’d take it personally that I hadn’t been finding it easy to settle in.

“Okay, I wish you’d told me earlier but that’s okay. Change isn’t easy, I can’t blame you for struggling. Obviously, I love having you here but if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be. I’m sorry if I haven’t been focusing on you enough, I know that I’ve been so occupied with everything else but that isn’t a good enough reason for me to have been neglecting you. I have to ask this question, were you going to kill yourself tonight?”

I took a deep breath through my nose, no one is ever prepared for that question, it’s not something anybody wants to hear or talk about ever.

“Look, I’m not quite sure. I wasn’t really thinking, if you hadn't showed up, maybe. I don’t know Leah, I just know that I was feeling so fucking out of control and when I fele out of control I stop thinking.”

Leah just pursed her lips, it was clear that she didn’t know exactly what to say, or she was trying to put what she was thinking into words.

“Okay, that’s okay. Obviously it’s not okay, but that’s okay. We have options here, you have options. Let’s book an appointment with your therapist tomorrow, firstly. Secondly I think you and I should maybe sit down and have a proper conversation about your mental health, just so that I can become more educated on it and I can be more aware of these kinds of situations, because I want to be. I love you y/n and I want to be here to support you fully, but if I’m going to do that I need to understand how I can love you but also look after you and help you, because I want to.”

I was anxiously patting our dogs stomach, as I thought about how the fuck I was going to talk to Leah about this.

“I’ve had fucked up mental health since I was a kid, it fluctuates, you know that I get panic attacks and spouts of depression. Sometimes it worsens, Lucy can give you more details, honestly I don’t think I’m the best at explaining it. Sometimes I get really low, I’ve had my fair share of suicidal thoughts and self harm over the years, I’ve never gone through with anything and honestly my mental health has been really good over the year or so, that was why I didn’t flag it with you, and I’m sorry I didn’t. I am so sorry that you had to see me like that, I’m sorry that your fucking worrying about me.”

Leah’s arm wove its way around my waist, bringing me flush against her and it felt so right in that moment.

“Y/n, look at me.”

It was the first time that I’d looked her in the eyes the whole night and it kind of hurt in some bizarre way staring into her brown eyes. They were full of so much emotion, so much feeling and pain in them.

“You should not be sorry for having human emotion. I’m sorry for not seeing the warning signs, for not being around enough to see the signs. I’m still learning, I’m trying to be better for you, so let’s just agree that neither of us are perfect. This is new to me, but I’m going to try my fucking hardest for you, whatever you need. We’re going to make you feel happier, put that smile back on your face that made me fall in love with you, if it’s the last thing I do. Maybe we take a break if that’s what you need, or we explore other options, anything to make you feel happier, anything for my girl.”

[ruthlesslistener]

A Journey through Hallownest: Choice Bits from the Wanderer's Journal (pt. 1)

As promised, I recently retrieved my copy of the Wanderer's Journal (the official Hallownest artbook/guidebook) and wanted to post some pictures of my favorite things from it. To start us off, here's the front page and the author, a cute little ladybug called Ellina.

Next up will be the observations of the Forgotten Crossroads, which does include the end page as Ellina loops around to leave Hallownest (for reference, her visit is timed around the same as Ghost's journey)

I find it interesting that fossilized/petrified remains are apparently extremely common all over Hallownest, to the point where they're just used freely as the city's currency (geo is just little fossils). It's almost as if the whole of the caverns were under one vast sea at a point in the distant past...gee, wonder what that could be??

The Soul Totems are heavily implied to be relics of the ancient Void Civilization here (which I doubt anyone is surprised by, given the similarities in shape to the Shade Lord and the fact that void and soul are compatable, while void and essence are not, ruling out Radi's influence), while the Gruzzer was just thrown in here because I love how there's little biology tidbits thrown in for the wild enemies here (mawleks are theorized to share an ancient ancestor to goams in their entry). As for including the last page with Dirtmouth, I was just really touched by the fact that Hallownest seems to have a hope of rebuilding- perhaps not as it once was, but simply as a home for those who survived the Radiance's wrath.

Next is the Fungal Wastes and Lake of Unn:

The fact that Unn is said to be a great guardian spirit rather than a god intrigues me, though to be fair, the Pale King and White Lady are not referred to as gods either, perhaps due to the author's bias (we are viewing the world through the eyes of a nonnative wanderer, after all). As for the bits on the Fungal Wastes, I found it interesting that they were apparently once allied with Hallownest- I didn't know that! It makes sense though, as they would have benefited greatly from feeding off the waste runoff that a great city of bugs once produced. Mushrooms are detritovores, after all, so any bodies, food waste, or dung cast off by the Waterways would have made for an easy meal, and perhaps contributed to the expansion of the Wastes after the City of Tears was established.

Tumblr limits me to ten pictures per post, so I'm going to have to split this one into parts. You can find the other parts here, once I upload the rest of the parts:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Tillie uploaded a few previews of Book 3 on her Instagram. Most of them were on her story though so they might be gone now. I posted them on reddit (ew) if you missed them and wanna see :)

She always gives us teasers when I'm at work and can't post about them right away, but yes, I saw them!

There are 8 pages for Clementine Book Three soooo I'll share them here under the cut and give my thoughts for anyone interested.

So... Olivia's havin' a real tough time.

If you'll remember from Book Two, whether because you read it or because you read my in-depth review/analysis of it: Olivia's pregnant with a little Amos Jr.

Or, as I like to call the baby: AJ 2.0

I know the baby's not going to be named AJ... but god, wouldn't that be so funny?? Everyone else would be so mad but I'd be so happy.

Anyway, I knew this would be a big thing in this book since obviously, but also because Tillie Walden was pregnant while she was working on these books. Given how she creates her stories, and how she's talked about how giving birth completely broke her... I think it's gonna be a lot.

We see how Olivia's struggling to cope with the pain she's in to the point where she's just like "God, kill me, just kill me--" which is a big oof.

And like... the fact that we're starting the story off like this? I see that "Chapter One" there, this is the opening to the final book in the trilogy.

And honestly...?

I'm so here for this.

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the weirdo here... but I'm actually a little excited to read this whole thing because yes, give me the horror of a visceral natural childbirth within the zombie apocalypse.

We kind of got that with Rebecca in S2, but y'know what? Crank it up to an 11. If you're gonna go there, then go there. Book One could've given us cannibalism but didn't. Book Two could've given us frankensteined walkers, but didn't. Give me something.

I don't know if I've just embraced that yes, these Clementine comics aren't good successors to the games. Yes, the Clementine here doesn't feel like the same Clementine we knew. Yes, the clemricca romance is not great. Yes, and I don't care anymore. I do not have the energy to be angry about it.

I mean, yeah I care that this is how they're choosing to continue Clementine's story, but it's so far removed from the games that as far as I'm concerned, her story ended a long time ago. This is just a "what if" spin off, and no amount of "no, it's canon" is ever going to change that. Besides, it helps me view these comics as their own thing, as well.

Also, wait a minute... counting heads, I see Clementine, Olivia, Ricca, Fen, Saa, and Derrick... and one unknown person. With glasses.

Gasp, but that's Ricca's thing.

Like... this is a lot.

This is so much.

God, Olivia's sobbing and vomiting all over the place, she's begging them to kill her just so that the pain will go away... but it looks like they're in a safe location with a midwife, so... at least there's that.

But yeah, Olivia's gonna pop out that baby and I wonder how graphic it's going to get.. Like, it's already pretty scary to see them trying to roll her over and pin her down so that the midwife can push the baby over the pelvis on the next contraction... gaaaahhhh--

However, it's questionable if both Olivia and the baby survive given the whole "Clementine suffers a loss unlike anything she's ever faced" thing from the book's description. The obvious bet is that Olivia will die and the group will have to take care of the baby, but who knows?

Speaking of, I'll also share these from the article that posted the pages:

I don't know what else to say about these pages; we're in a new location with new characters, Olivia's having a baby and it's brutal... I'm interested to learn more about The Gardener and what the supposedly safe place is, but we won't know until July.

And yes, I've already preordered my copy because of course I have. When it does come out, you can expect another in-depth review/analysis of it in the "I read it so you didn't have to" style... AND I plan of doing a separate essay that's an analysis of the trilogy as a whole, explores the clemricca romance, dives into Tillie Walden's other works and what they can help us to understand the trilogy better, etc.

This is also another reminder to not be a prick. Leave Tillie alone. If you want to be mad about the comics, that's fine, but leave her out of it. Post about it on your blog, or go be butthurt on reddit.

But yeah, what do y'all think? Let me know!

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Kaiju Week in Review (January 7-13, 2024)

Hard to talk about the Monarch: Legacy of Monsters finale without spoilers, so if you haven't watched it yet, skip ahead to the next item. No flashbacks this time (time dilation aside), just our surviving heroes finally all on the same page to solve a seemingly impossible problem. The momentous reunion between Lee and Keiko got the space it deserved, although I was a touch disappointed that the obvious budding romance between Cate and May got shortchanged. And of course we finally got our first kaiju fight of the series, with Godzilla dispatching the Ion Dragon in a quick but ferocious battle. Fun to see this version of the character take on a low-stakes, low-power challenger for a change. I am routinely frustrated by TV seasons ending on cliffhangers (some of which are then never resolved), but they managed to conclude this season's storyline while setting up the next one, should they have the chance to tell it. Good to have some payoff to the Apex episode earlier in the series. I'm wondering if the series is planning to pivot to Kong now. Since Godzilla: King of the Monsters still hasn't happened yet, the Big G still can't make any public appearances without breaking continuity, which is quite the writing complication.

@bog-o-bones has blessed us with an excellent feature-length video essay on the history of the kaiju genre. Even for a walking encyclopedia like me, it was fun to have it all laid out so cleanly—the way the three genre pillars of Godzilla, Gamera, and Ultraman rise and fall in popularity, never entirely in sync and consequently keeping us steadily entertained over the decades. So many narratives about the genre in print are decades out of date and/or act like barely anything past the sixties was worth making. This one's up-to-the-minute and gives the seismic influence of films like Cloverfield and Pacific Rim their due. I have my quibbles (last-minute re-records accidentally omitted GAMERA -Rebirth-; the original Mothra deserved more attention), but I acknowledge the amount of works covered here is staggering and every fan would tell this story a little bit differently. Highly recommended.

IDW's biggest Godzilla comic ever is coming in May, a one-shot anthology called Godzilla: 70th Anniversary. It'll have nine stories over 100 pages, with the writers including Joëlle Jones, Michael W. Conrad, Matt Frank, James Stokoe, Adam Gorham, and Dan DiDio. (Some of these folks will presumably be illustrating their comics as well.) The solicitation doesn't offer many plot hints, given that scope: "From the American Old West to modern Tokyo and beyond, this collection features stories of the King of the Monsters fighting with its allies like Mothra, against old enemies like the terrible Mechagodzilla, and reshaping the lives of all who fall in its path!" I'm surprised they're not waiting until November—hopefully it doesn't get delayed into November.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire will now release in the U.S. two weeks early—March 29. It's taking the place of Bong Joon-ho's Mickey 17, which is now undated. I can hardly complain about being able to see it earlier, though the move comes with some risk, as it's now opening the week after Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire.

SRS Cinema has opened preorders for their Yuzo the Biggest Battle in Tokyo Blu-ray. Or is it Yuzo: The Biggest Battle on Tokyo? That's what the product page says, but on the cover the title's unchanged. Oh, SRS. Anyway, bonus features are scant: just trailers and something called "A Brief Introduction To Ishii Yoshikazu."

Here's the teaser trailer for Volcanodon, a short film from Taiwan's Creator Union of Tokusatsu. They're aiming to have it uploaded to YouTube sometime this year, and I'll happily watch it. Obviously low-budget, but it's well-shot and it's nice to see a kaiju movie outside of Japan go all-in on practical effects.

[sleepanonymous]

Did you have fun at lorna shora? 💝

I'm gonna use your ask to post my concert recap, Anon. Hope you don't mind 🖤 But yes I had an absolute blast. 100/10, I would do it all again, even the waiting around in the heat part.

Long-winded recap below the cut for anyone who cares 🖤 you do get rewarded with a low-effort meme though.

TLDR is I had an amazing night, and I'm probably getting another tattoo because of it.

Some pre-concert notes: at the suggestion of a friend, I used Waymo to get to and from my hotel in Phoenix. That was an experience. It’s nice not having a driver so I can bask in my antisocial tendencies but those cars are confident af. I guess they can technically see better/more than a human, and they're 100% focused on the road, so they also drive better than 75% of all the Uber/Lyft drivers I’ve had. 

Day of the concert, I got to the venue at 11:30 am and nobody was there except a vagrant, a plumber, and a concerned lady with the plumber. Later confirmed with the people in line that I was the first to show up and that’s kinda crazy to me? The difference in line culture between Sleep Token and Lorna Shore is insane. At noon I was told by security we couldn’t line up on the property until 4 pm (doors at 5 pm). I’m not a local, so I took that as go tf away, so I went to Mcdonalds a block away and watched Saint Maud on my phone in the middle of a lunch rush. This is how everyone needs to experience this movie btw. Definitely adds to the unsettling factor of the film.

Around 2 pm I walked back to the venue, thinking I could loiter at the pizza place next door. Instead I found a line near the back of the venue and I was number 12 (I recounted when we lined up outside the venue at 4pm and realized I was wrong when I said I was 15th). It was a high of 106F/41C and we were south facing, but my spot was thankfully under a few mesquite tree canopies. When we moved up at 4 pm I was under some misters on a patio which was a small haven since I lost my shade. I didn’t get sunburned, and barely got a tan.

I met some Sleep Token fans while in line and dying of heat stroke. We talked a bit about what it was like being on the barricade at their rituals. A couple of them had tried for tickets to the Phoenix ritual but weren’t able to get their hands on any. I was too afraid to tell them about Vessel looking at me during TNDNBTG (even though I have the video evidence from that one uploader, I’m still gaslighting myself about it lmao).

At 5 pm when doors opened, the venue separated the line into bags/no bags, so I essentially was the 3rd person inside (1st in the bag line). Snagged a spot on the barricade at center stage, slightly to stage left. Guy to my right drove over from Texas (he showed me a picture on his phone that he took of Will outside the venue like 2 hours before, literally just standing and chatting with a dude in a Spiderman outfit while the rest of us were melting in line. literal strangest thing I've ever seen in my life). The girl to my left ran some minor Instagram page, I had meant to ask for her handle but never got a chance. The dude behind me looked like a taller Jesse Pinkman sans beanie hat/baggy hoodie and he was really polite and also did his best to talk like Jesse after the comparison was made. There was also a dude and his girlfriend (he and Jesse Pinkman were pretty amazing at keeping me from getting squished 100% of the time from the pit) and the Sleep Token girlies who bought like seven shirts and somehow made it to the barricade. We all became temp besties. We also made friends with the security and helped hand out water cups during intermissions, had mosh pit practice and dance-offs, and got a crash course in the Sanguisugabogg murderball game.

Sanguisugabogg is 100% an amazing live band. I couldn’t get into them before hand, but after seeing them live I am now a casual fan. I wouldn’t mind seeing them live again. I survived the murderball game with little effort thanks to the barricade/people around me. But I did get accidentally acquainted with multiple security guy’s crotches (ducking for them to pick up crowd surfers). This actually became a theme for a bit until I figured out a wat to contort myself between the security when they jumped on the barricade. I guess two dudes got into a fight over the ball, and the band told them to take it to the sidewalk? Valid.

Kublai Khan were super fun on stage. Vocalist wore an Arizona belt buckle and he showed it off and the crowd were extra happy about it lol. Caught some neat footage at the end of Kublai’s set. I only rewatched about one minute of it to check how the audio/video settings were for later on in the night. I do know I caught footage of him looking like a disappointed dad though so that's amazing.

White Chapel was fucking LOUD yo. Sound Guys cranked the volume to 11 for them and Lorna. But I can now confirm that baby Ves’s piano improv from a couple weeks ago did have heavier breakdowns. This band was one of my last ex’s favorite bands (apparently he lives in Phx now, so there’s a good chance he was in the pit) and he was almost spot on in mimicking Phil’s vocals, so I haven’t really listened to them for 9+ years. Surprisingly I was familiar with about half their set, so I had a great time with that, despite the ex thing.

I am proud to say that I am the lucky survivor of four crowd surfers over my head at once. Security were amazing at handling that influx in such a small space/time span. It’s my fault for getting kicked in the face because I didn’t duck in time for one, (I was filming lol) but I didn’t get a bruise/swollen lip. Morning after edit: I actually have a lot of bruises but they’re on my arms from the barricade and not getting kicked in the face. I filmed White Chapel’s new song plus a couple others, I have no idea how well they turned out yet. Also there are three guitarists?! Things I did not know about the band.

Phil spoke the least out of all four frontmen. He introduced the new song, I think he asked us to open a circle pit once, thanked us at the end, and that was about it.

Lorna Shore came on really fucking quickly after White Chapel. Like 20ish minutes, I think? It was 9:20 pm on the dot. Those roadies were busting their asses. Idk what was up but it got really hot inside when Lorna took the stage, even with being on the barricade. I recorded five Lorna songs: Welcome Back, The Pain Remains Trilogy, and To the Hellfire.

At one point Will said something about being too dry from the desert heat (he was the only person to mention the heat) and I thankfully stopped myself from blurting out “bitch where?!” because I was currently drenched in sweat. I know he was talking about the 106F high plus the 9% humidity, but still.

Okay can we talk about Adam De Micco now? I need to talk about Adam De Micco. More specifically Adam eye contact. There was so much Adam eye contact. Like, bro was making eye contact with everyone on the barricade, so it wasn’t a special occurrence… but oh my god when I tell you there was eye contact there was eye contact.

Quick fact about me: I have this thing about smiling at strangers when I catch them looking at me (because I have chronic rbf, sometimes accidentally zone out and end up looking in the general direction of people, and asking “why are you looking at me?!” while possibly looking pissed off is generally too hostile for everyday occurrences).

So. Eye contact. The first time I realized he was looking at me and not around me, I internally panicked and automatically smiled at him. Thing is, it wasn’t one off. This man was staring into the souls of every person on the barricade. But because of my panic smile we’d just hold eye contact until he had to look down at his frets or I panicked and looked at Will or Austin. At one point, he and Andrew switched stage positions and Adam would still *hold eye contact me* from the other side of the stage. It got to the point where I was convinced maybe I had a busted lip from the crowd surfer incident or my makeup was fucked from the heat. Everything was fine when I got back to my hotel? Eyeshadow, eyeliner, and eyebrows hadn’t budged at all and my lips were a little faded but not bad. My hair wasn’t even as crazy as I thought. So does Adam just do that? I didn’t catch a glance from any of the rest of the band, or any of the guys in White Chapel, I think I remember the Kublai Vocalist or guitarist looking somewhere in my direction, and the Sanguisugabogg Vocalist was literally chatting with everyone between songs. But Adam took it upon himself to make me and everyone else on the barricade feel perceived, like it was his life mission or something.

I feel like… because Vessel looked at me once during TNDNBTG back in May and I got a tattoo because of it, that I now owe Adam a tattoo too? I am 100% overthinking this. But I’m also not even joking, I’ve been thinking about getting his sigil tattooed somewhere since I left the venue. I also followed him on Insta before I was out the doors. Anyway, emotional support from Will Ramos has ended. My new emotional support person is Adam De Micco. Yes, because of excessive eye contact.

Evening after addendum: Mother Token face reveal on Lorna’s Instagram. I’m tiny and I’m the only person paying attention to Moke, but at least I’m not sobbing like I was for Adam Rossi’s Euclid sneak-shot. Also yeah, the more I think about it, the more I'm probably gonna get that sigil tattooed (ref 👇). Might have to wait until after Xmas though, with the way money is flowing right now.

[theoristwiki]

Wiki Updates (Oct 19-Nov 20)

I guess we're doing these things monthly now.

Staff Updates:

A warm welcome to our new administrator, DeclansPlanett! With Declan's help we've been able to massively update the GTLive sections of the wiki and start organizing our long term planning.

Theoryandahalf is now the wiki bureaucrat, which will enables the Team to have the most customization control over the Wiki.

The Wiki Team has a group chat on Discord! If you would like to join, please contact one of the admins here or on their message board.

The Theorists Wiki now has a YT Channel where we are starting to create playlists based on popular wiki categories.

TL;DR Summary

MatPat and Steph are now listed as "past hosts" and we continue to update channel pages to reflect their retirement. Ash and Sam's pages are updated with their new roles. Thanks to editor Chikoritaboy11 we now have an episode list for all Theorist videos uploaded to Amazon Prime. We have backfilled the Episode List for all 2022 GTLive episodes and it was updated to credit every 2022 Mirror Matt and Ash "appearance". We are very close to having a list of every single GTLive episode, with just the entirety of 2023 to go. All other Theorist channels have a complete list of episodes. We also have a GTLive Lore page to track the "official" storyline.

New Pages

GTLive Season 8 (We consider Ash's first episode as the start of a new season but Ash and Sam get final say)

MatPat's Final Episodes (complete list of all final episodes across channels, including GTLive)

GTLive Lore

TV Providers (list of platforms hosting Theorist Media content)

Amazon Prime: Game Theory Episode Guide (Episode Guide to all episodes uploaded to Amazon Prime)

The Roku Channel: Game Theory Episode Guide

Shannon (editor GTLive)

London Special (highlighting MatPat and Tom's Ruin playthough)

Updates

Sam

Ash

Justin

Tom

Amy

Deborah

Pedro Freitas (minor edits)

Tyler Mascola (minor)

Mirror Matt

Chris Widin (minor)

Jason Parker (minor)

Michael Sundman

Oliver Patrick

Stephanie Patrick

Matthew Patrick (bio completed up to 2017, awards received list created)

GTLive

GTLive History: Season 6, 7, 8

GTLive 2022 Episode List (Complete!🎉)

Removed Herobrine MatPat from the Hosts banner on the Wiki mainpage

New Episode Pages (all created by the myth, the legend, Sidfurry153!)

Game Theory

Buckshot Roulette's New ARG

Shadow the Hedgehog is ACTUALLY a Genie?!

Your Superpower Is In Your Pants

Indigo Park is controlled by Evil

Sauce, Cheese, REVENGE!

The HIDDEN Conspiracy of Thats Not My Neighbor

Cupheads sinful secret business

This SECRET Clue Solves Amanda The Adventurer 2! ‎

Style Theory

Does Waterproof Makeup Actually Work?

You are shaving your legs wrong

What's your body shape and how to dress for it

Exposing the worst scam in history

The SECRET to Winning the Olympics is… Uniforms?! ‎

Is TikTok Shop the Next Amazon? ‎

I Tested TikTok's VIRAL Makeup Filter Does It Work? ‎

Makeup Brands Are STEALING Your Money!

Can Dress to Impress ACTUALLY Teach You How to Dress?

You're Missing The Point Of Dress To Impress it's scary

Film Theory

They Will INFECT You!

Disney Tried to Kill the X-Men

The Amazing Digital Circus will Steal Your Soul

Pomni Wants to DELETE Huamnity?

Kinger's tragic end is near

How to SURVIVE Saw!

The Minions in Minions AREN'T Minions! ‎

The Hidden LORE of Skibidi Toilet! ‎

The Amazing Digital Circus is LYING To You!

The Amazing Digital Circus Is Literally HELL ‎

Food Theory

You are cutting sandwiches wrong

Can you ACTUALLY cook and Egg on the Sidewalk?

Fruit punch is a complete lie

How to get more food at chipotle for free

This food can save you before a huricane

I wore panera gloves for 24 hours

This lemonade could kill you

Panera needs to stop being so shady

Do not eat NyQuil Chicken

Wait coffee is a soup?

Can You Bake Cookies from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (And Which is Best?)

As always you can contact the Wiki Team here or on the Wiki Staff Page. Until next time, see ya!

[strawberriesinmoominvalley]

fic writer interview!

tagged by @beensinning and @481boxboxbaby <3 (thank you!)

How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 42 works! i did not realise i had written that many 😅

What's your total AO3 word count?

581,085. somehow more and less than i was expecting

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

love will not break your heart (but dismiss your fears) - 849

send you my love on a wire - 812

if you changed anything would you not have survived? (you're alive, you're alive, you're alive) - 807

there are two of us on the run - 609

we are the reckless, we are the wild youth (chasing visions of our futures) - 487

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

for the most part, always! it might take me a while to get there (especially on fanfics i am neglecting), but i will always try to reply

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

probably i will look for you as the sun rises higher. the only time (as far as i can remember) i have properly written major character death

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

i think i write a lot of fanfictions with happy endings! but probably love will not break your heart (but dismiss your fears). it felt cathartic

Do you write crossovers?

unless within marvel counts, no. i write a lot of au though!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not in any recent times, but definitely in the past

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope :)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

unless people are doing it secretly, no

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes but it's very abandoned. open to doing it in the future though!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

i am far too much of a multi-shipper for this! i also tend to go back to platonic tags or themes more :)

but i have a soft spot for lando norris/oscar piastri and clint barton/natasha romanoff

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

... basically every fanfic that's not formula one! i'm just not interested in writing for anything else at the moment

i really want to finish if you changed anything would you not have survived? (you're alive, you're alive, you're alive), when the shadows fall your light will still burn brighter and i need freedom now and i need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be. the two star wars fanfics are more likely to be finished (i am always into star wars) and i hope when stranger things 5 comes out it gives me the motivation to finish that fanfic

hold my hand tight (we'll make it another night) is almost certainly abandoned. i love that world - it was my biggest project at the time and the first time i got somewhat popular and i have so much planned out for it - but i don't see myself getting into marvel again. i also don't like the way i approached certain topics

What are your writing strengths?

world building! i am one of those people with an incredibly active imagination - having to swim through the fires to stay in this world has a 37 page planning document that gets bigger everyday. i have a history of the world its set in and a timeline. the amount of lore that i'll never use... i always say i want to be a tolkein-like author (insane statement i realise) and when you don't have many people to talk to irl, you spend a LOT of time in your own head!

What are your writing weaknesses?

describing emotions. not to sound too autistic about it, but i just don't know how people express their emotions. i really struggle to describe that without outright stating the character was sad for example. it's something i practice (and have found many writing resources for, thank goodness)

i don't know if this counts, but finishing fanfics. something i have only started doing since writing for f1 is essentially writing the entire fanfic and then starting to upload. it has meant that i can finish fanfics, write more without panicking, have an upload schedule! but i wish i had started this many years ago

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

in the past, i simply used the "translation at the bottom!" or wrote it in italics next to it. i have seen the light that it is not the best technique!

i think it's okay to have the odd phrase, word in another language, especially if it's self-explainable! i will pop bits in - especially in french (je le parle!) - but for the most part i either write it in english and say "they said in *insert language here*" or something to the same effect, or i will simply not write the dialogue if the character we're following doesn't speak it (you will be seeing this example in heretic pride :3)

tl;dr the odd word or phrase is fine! otherwise i would advise against it

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

star wars!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

difficult question! i honestly don't know - maybe star wars rebels?

i'd like to write more for charles leclerc/max verstappen and jenson button/sebastian vettel - or at least, them as the centre of the story

What's your favourite fic you've written?

i mentioned this in the end notes of the fanfic, but love will not break your heart (but dismiss your fears) got me through probably the worst time of my life. i needed to write something about grief and hope - because i needed to cling to the idea that it would be better. and i won't get sappy about it, but it genuinely is probably the only thing that helped me to keep going and not bundle myself into a ball and cry

it's the biggest project i've ever done, the most love i've ever received. i've made friends because of it that i love and cherish. i am so proud of it. it is my magnum opus

<3

this was a lot of fun! no pressure of course, but tagging @cx-boxbox, @zolica-ao3, @lottie1824, @magdacimy, @jaecantwrite, @wanderingblindly, @kaossbells and anyone else who wants to join in!

[pretty-weird-ideas]

Debunking the “Fandom Racism on AO3 should remain for educational purposes like Mein Kampf”

Comparing racist meta and harassment on AO3 to Mein Kampf as “educational content” in order to argue that it deserves to remain uploaded is so distinctly dystopian to me... Even seeing this argument at all is distinctly horrific and inflammatory. AO3 is not an educational space, and the fact that people are now suddenly advocating for it to qualify only in the case of racism is awful.

These same people would truly panic if fanfiction was held up to this standard and let me explain...

Mein Kampf is not handed out willy-nilly without context. Librarians editorialize a shit-ton about it when they give it up for public consumption. They have a bunch of historical context, it often comes with warnings, people distinctly describing why his views are awful, there’s critiques in the book itself etc. It’s mentioned in history books as antisemitic and racist as a preface. People even tear it apart logically and shit on Hitler the second the book is mentioned at all in an educational setting.

Guess what AO3 doesn’t allow... any of that. They don’t ascribe racism warnings (and the same people who make this argument shit themselves at the idea of adding one), racist authors can delete comments that add this context or critique at their own discretion, and the biggest thing of all is that this would be under the presumption that racism is called out by fandom or OTW in order for a lesson to be taught. 

Hate to say this: In order for racist screeds to even be proportionate to Mein Kampf every time this work is pulled up, it would come with a warning from a educator. It would describe every inch and detail of the author’s life, berating them in the process. The editors would say “this author is a disgusting person and we at the OTW do not condone this author’s beliefs or behavior whatsoever”, and then hand it over with annotations tearing apart the arguments outlined. 

If you aren’t advocating for no comment moderation, racism warnings + context, and for people to tear apart your works like rabid dogs, you can take your argument elsewhere. An educational space would fill your work with citations and annotations leading readers to actual Fanlore and Wikipedia pages. Dissenters would be cited in your comments. Your life would become a living hell of over-analyzed drivel. You will walk out of fandom wishing that the curtains were blue because blue was the author’s favorite color.

You guys wouldn’t survive if fanfiction became an educational space. 

An educational space is a space that puts the reader’s knowledge before the writer’s comfort, and that includes critics being put on the same pedestal that you are if not higher. The people that are arguing this are the number one crybabies about the idea of people calling their own work a type of “ism” or “phobia”. They lay awake at night thinking about critics mocking their fic in any way, shape, or form. And these people think they’re strong enough to bear the weight of educators/historians looking over their shit?

Trust me... you do not understand what you are asking for, when you imply that AO3 is an educational space in order to “gotcha” a bunch of POC who are complaining about the racism on the site.

I mean... if you want to turn your A/B/O fanfic into a discussion about your own life and sexuality Socratic seminar style the way they do with published authors, I can’t stop you....

[remnant-verse-if]

Copied from my forum page

January Update

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to say I added a little bit of meat to Chapter 5 and I uploaded Chapter 7D, which finally ends the Chapter 7 saga. It took quite a long time to complete, around 8 months :0 However, my life was quite turbulent with many career/education shifts. I will be transparent, I will be juggling a full-time job and pursuing another degree at the same time. Yet, not a day goes by without thinking about Remnant Twenty-One. This story is a passion project of mine and I don’t have any intent to abandon this project. I’d like to be more transparent and more accountable so I will update Remnant: 21 every two weeks from now on. The content I upload may vary because of what I’m about to say next.

I decided to create three variations of Chapter 8, aka the second half of Thursday’s content. However, the ending of each variation is a big reveal and would spoil each other. Ergo, I will work on Chapter 8 along with additional intermission slice-of-life chapters. Based on your choices from the main chapters, intermissions will contain small fun events with the cast where they can bring up your attitudes and their current perceptions of you. (I’ll probably have an option if players want to turn off the option.) I’ll try to put up a bulletin and progress tracker on my current work so far, so there’s more accountability with my work!

As for the current update, if you feel like it, you can read the new chapter 7D, where if Sigma does not survive Chapter 6, we will explore what will happen. If anyone would like to discuss matters of the story, I would like to politely ask to put spoiler tags around it. Thank you again for reading my story, I truly appreciate all the support given to it!

[alex51324]

Cabin Trip Report, part deux

A few "action" photos and some history.

My first day--and only non-rainy day--at the park, I took a hike along the poignantly-named Trail of New Giants. Here's a pic from the trail:

Here's another one:

While a very pleasant patch of forest, you may notice that none of the trees present are what the normal person of average sensibilities would call a giant.

Unless, maybe, you look at the ground.

That's because, on the evening of May 31, 1985, a massive tornado swept through the area, leaving a path of destruction almost 70 miles long and 2/3 of a mile wide. The park's prized stand of sugar maples, along with other venerable trees--the Old Giants--was completely razed. Here's how it looked right after:

(Photo from the park's Facebook page)

Here's another one:

We get tornadoes in Pennsylvania, but not often and usually pretty small ones. The Moshannon Forest Tornado, as the one that swept through the park is known, was part of a storm system that produced one of the largest recorded outbreaks of tornadoes in Ohio and Pennsylvania.

This picture looks like a closeup of a lawn that has just been mowed, but those are full-sized trees:

There were 43 separate tornadoes, plus severe thunderstorms and damaging winds in the areas the tornadoes missed. 89 people lost their lives in the outbreak--but 0 of them were in the Moshanon Forest Tornado, despite the fact that it was the largest single tornado by a considerable margin.

There are two reasons why this storm didn't have a death toll. One is that its path covered mostly uninhabited land--the park, and other public land designated as state forest or state gamelands. In the park, it missed the family campground and the cabin area.

The other reason is this unusual, octagon-shaped, CCC-built structure:

(Recent photo from the park's reservation site.)

Used as an administration building during CCC days, it was an environmental education classroom (AKA nature center) at the time of the tornado. While the storm didn't hit the family campground, it did hit a camping area set aside for youth groups--which on that night, was being used by a Boy Scout group.

Here's a photo of the aftermath, taken by one of the Scouts:

They took shelter in the octagonal cabin, and all survived, though the building was badly damaged:

The boy who took these photos, Ken Hunt, described being nearly sucked out as part of the roof was carried away; the Scout leader and other kids clung to the doorframe with one hand and managed to hang on to Ken with the other.

Anyway, the kids all lived, and they fixed the cabin up again; you can rent it to stay in if you want. It looks pretty awesome though:

(Top photo from the park's Facebook, second from TripAdvisor, uploaded by a family that stayed there over Christmas.)

I stayed at one of the other cabins, because they charge by the number of beds and this one has 12, but it does allow dogs! Plus, if you stay there, you know that if there's another once-in-a-century tornado, you'll probably make it.

Anyhow, the devastated area continues to recover. Here's a shot from the overlook last Thursday--if you're comparing it with the tornado-damage photos, we're standing on top of the hill that's in the background of most of them:

With its relatively light tree cover--and lack of old, slow-growing evergreens--the tornado area is a good habit for spring wildflowers, like this trillium:

The trunks of the fallen Giants provide habitat for mosses and fungi, and their root balls create small hillocks with good drainage; this one was covered in white violets:

(Photo didn't come out great, but you can spot them if you look hard.)

As for the New Giants? The park's interpretive display on the storm says we can expect them to be truly giant by around 2085.

[corvusalbus93]

Clean-up Duty Part 2

Part 1

This is a re-telling of the Veiled Ossuary questline, but if we were accompanied by Khadgar. I just really wanted him to interact more with Senegos and after seeing sdei’s comic, I had to write this. Since it turned out longer than expected, I decided to upload the story in parts, and eventually I will publish the full version on AO3. For the adventurer I used my current main.

-

“Senegos’ condition troubles you too, does it not?” Narami asked as they crossed one of the streams running through the ossuary's interior courtyard. Thanks to the spell, she could sense something that direction, wisps of arcane power.

“He was very weak when we first met him in Azsuna, and though he recovered I fear I only delayed the inevitable.”

Her heart felt heavier at his words. “You think it won’t be long now?”

Khadgar looked over his shoulder to where the dragons had gone, his expression already saying all she needed to know. “I fear as much, yes. And I know how powerful Raszageth is, what power it took to shield the three of us. It...troubles me to think that the battle at Vakthros might have hastened his end.”

“Is that why you joined me?”

He gave her a sad smile. “It might be my last chance to help a friend and repay him for saving us.”

They continued on, remaining mostly silent, which more than a little unusual for them. There was always something to talk about, especially with all that had been going on since arriving on the Dragon Isles. For now, however, they focused on finding Senegos’ tomes, searching the various tombs on both sides of the streams, each connected to the others by bridges and plenty of stairs. From time to time they needed to shoo some of the insects or move rubble, but thanks to Stellagosa’s spell, it didn’t take them long to locate the books. Khadgar at times was evidently tempted to linger in some places, and Narami couldn’t deny that her own curiosity was piqued by the ruins around them, but they soon rejoined the dragons farther upstairs, who were overlooking the courtyard.

Senegos seemed a little lost in thought when the two arrived. “Ah... these ancient halls. In the old times, blue dragons would claim a small location in the ossuary where they wished to have their remains sent. We used Dragonblight in Northrend as a final resting place when it was impossible to return to the Isles. Those who could make it back here after Neltharion nearly wiped us out passed within these halls. I was ordered to leave their remains undisturbed. I was the last remaining gravekeeper... tasked to update all the graves before we departed. I was younger, more rebellious then. They gave me the gravekeeper role as a way to teach me responsibility, you know?”

“I assume it didn’t work as intended,” the Archmage said.

“Not at first. It wasn't until the War of the Ancients that I took it seriously.” Senegos sighed, remaining still for a moment before he turned to them. “You have the tomes?”

Narami held up all three. “Of course.”

“In surprisingly good condition,” Khadgar added as she handed them over. “Though I suspect the magical aura I sense has something to do with that.”

“I am glad some things have survived all of this time.” Without missing a beat, Senegos began browsing through the pages, nodding from time to time. Eventually, he put the tomes aside. “Now, for the spell I’ve mentioned. It is my special arcane ball, which you may use to roll up the creatures around here.” An orb of arcane light appeared in his hands, which he gave to Narami, who hesitated for a second before taking it. “The more creatures you roll up, the bigger the ball becomes. The bigger the ball, the bigger the creature you can roll out.”

Khadgar laughed, as he studied the glowing orb in the night elf’s hands. “That’s certainly an entertaining way to handle these pests.”

“You’re welcome to help me,” Narami told him. “This is a big place, and you wouldn’t want me to have all the fun alone.”

“Excellent idea, here.” Another arcane ball appeared in Senegos’ hands, and he tossed it to the Archmage. “I remember having so much fun rolling these creatures up with my spells. Unfortunately, I fear these old bones will not let me move as quickly as I once did. I would love for you to give it a shot. Let me live vicariously through you!”

Khadgar, meanwhile, was already scheming again. “Fascinating. Perhaps I can...” The orb’s hue began to shift a little, going back and forth between purple and violet.

“You’re adding to the spell-work,” Senegos noted.

“Yes, I was thinking it could also draw in objects of a certain size in a small area around it.”

The old dragon leaned closer, though Narami wasn’t certain, if he literary saw what Khadgar was doing or more perceiving it in a way only a practised mage could. “Ah, I tried that, but it kept pulling in all manners of stones. Not very practical.”

Khadgar’s hand motions changed slightly, the orb’s hue starting to drift more into blue. “Perhaps I can limit it to organic objects only. I’m sure picking up a few leaves along the way won’t be a problem. Narami, would you like me to modify yours as well?”

“I’m good, thank you.” Given past experiences, the night elf didn’t want to end up stuck to her arcane ball or for the thing to blow up in her none-mage hands.

As the Archmage continued to manipulate his orb, Senegos looked up to a building even farther up and the mountain. When he spoke, he didn’t seem to be addressing them; it was more like he was whispering to himself. “I have so many memories of this place... though I fear I've forgotten far more than I remember.” A little flash of light from Khadgar’s orb brought him back, his expression brightening in an instant, before he stepped back and shifted into his true form. “Now, we shall meet you at the uppermost tomb.”

Stellagosa followed her grandfather’s lead and both dragons took to the air, leaving the other two to deal with the pests. To maximise efficiency, Khadgar and Narami decided to split up, each taking another route up the ossuary.

The arcane orb did work as promised and each insect it touched was immovably trapped. For now she avoided the bigger ones as advised, until suddenly the orb expanded under her hands. Remembering what Senegos had told her, Narami tried one of the larger bugs, delighted to find that it indeed was now also getting caught in the arcane ball.

A few moments later two shadows passed her by and Narami could hear the old dragon from above. “You're getting the hang of it now! I spent so much time rolling up creatures in my youth...”

Stellagosa’s seemed less impressed. “Grandfather, this seems highly inefficient. Don't you have spells to clear the creatures out instantly?”

“My dear Stellagosa, when you live as long as we do, you must sometimes favor enjoying life over being efficient.”

From somewhere to her right, Narami could hear the Archmage chime in. “He’s right, young one!”

The night elf arched an eyebrow, however decided not to say anything. Despite his appearance, Khadgar was probably the youngest one among them. Narami wasn’t entirely certain how old Stellagosa was, but knew for a fact that she herself was Khadgar’s elder by at least a decade. An insignificant difference by kaldorei standards, but still.

She looked over to the other path, were the Archmage was cleaning up. Unlike her he didn’t need to push, instead he motioned his fingers in a consistent pattern and the arcane ball rolled in front of him wherever he directed it to. His modifications seemed to work, as his ball pulled in insects from all around it.

He caught her looking and grinned, adding a mock salute, just as she reached one of the staircases. Narami rolled her eyes, suppressing the sudden childish urge to stick her tongue out in response.

The ball wasn’t heavy, but it had caught plenty of insects, making it big enough that it was becoming increasingly difficult to steer. She couldn’t even look over it, which wasn’t helping. Still, if Khadgar used magic, maybe she could put her own skills to the test. For moment Narami studied the stairs, the curve they followed and shifted her stance. Channelling a little chi, she whirled around and kicked the orb with enough force to knock it forward and up the staircase, gathering even more insects as it went. Near the top it bounced off the railing and thankfully came to a stop at the very top, without rolling back down.

With a satisfied smile on her lips, Narami followed her arcane ball up, the way now perfectly cleared from all wildlife. Meanwhile, the two dragons continued to circle above, watching them. “Hrm... I admit the charm is growing on me a bit.”

“Very good, you two!” Senegos shouted. “Bring the balls closer to the top tomb entrance and launch them into the sky!”

Narami and Khadgar made it to the top around the same time, meeting at the centre of the tombs forecourt. “So, which one of us got more?” the Archmage wondered aloud.

Both arcane balls seemed to be of similar size, filled with helpless insects. It was impossible to count them, but the monk had a different idea. “How about we see, who can launch them further up?”

A moment later both orbs were catapulted sky high, one by magic, one by another chi-empowered kick.

“I think yours is going a little higher.”

They were still travelling, but Narami had a feeling hers was already slowing. He was going to win this one at this rate. “Trying to make me feel better?”

“Is it working?”

Before Narami could answer, a loud bang drew their attention upwards once again. One arcane ball was still flying, the other, however, had been torn to pieces along with the contained insects, while the released energy continued to sparkle like fireworks, illuminating the Ossuary with arcane light. It hadn’t been hers.

“Did yours...just explode?”

“It must have become unstable after I relinquished control.” And he’d tried to give her the same modifications earlier, someone, who could not have controlled the magic in the first place. Narami gave him a look, and he appeared to have realised the same, as he suddenly looked a bit embarrassed. Perhaps he also remembered his promise in Stormwind, to at least try not to add to her list of near-death experiences in the future after his already considerable contributions in the past. “Anyway.”

“Well done, well done.“ Senegos landed beside them, turning into his visage. “Ah, brings back memories, though I think your modifications need a few more minor adjustments, Khadgar.”

“One or two at most.”

He pulled something from his robes. The three books they had just recovered. “Then I think my tomes will be in good hands.”

Khadgar seemed surprised by this gift, but took them, carefully running a hand across one of the leather covers. “Thank you, Senegos. They’ll be well taken care of, you have my word.”

“I know. This way now.”

Narami was about to follow, but noticed that Khadgar wasn’t moving. His eyes were still on the books, and his smile was gone, replaced by a look of sorrow. Considering their earlier conversation it wasn’t difficult to guess why. This felt like a farewell gift.

“Everything alright?” she asked, nonetheless.

A slow nod. “Yes, of course,” Khadgar assured her, as he put the tomes into his bag, though she knew him well enough not to be convinced. “Come, let’s not keep them waiting.”

With Senegos walking at a leisurely pace, they caught up quickly, just as the two dragons entered the tomb.

...to be continued.

[resmarted]

happy 25th anniversary to When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks like a King What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight and He'll Win the Whole Thing 'Fore He Enters the Ring There's No Body to Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might So When You Go Solo, You Hold Your Own Hand and Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights and If You Know Where You Stand, Then You Know Where to Land and If You Fall It Won't Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You're Right.

I always forget that's the full album title. I got this album for my 14th birthday along with the book girl, interrupted and a blank paged journal with a mermaid illustrated on it by a local artist that worked at the voodoo shop when my mom was still reading there. I had just survived one of the other worst years of my life, was recovering from a period of stress-induced anorexia, was actively repressing molestation trauma, and my only friends were other girls online who were also coding their own websites in a very elite circle of what we collectively referred to as the teen domain scene where we diligently re-uploaded the same site with new information through ftp servers bc blogging wasn't a thing yet, and we would list our rants and raves and favorite music at the time. oh the fun we had cutting up in each other's guestbooks! we would create new layouts every other week and by the looks of this site you would never know I secretly know what I'm doing and that I could make this look aesthetically pleasing or at least a little less embarrassing if i felt like it. anyway, this is a very important album and it's strange to look back now and realize why I was actually so deeply disturbed at the time, even stranger that no one intervened when they could have, but I guess what were they supposed to do? I was a very perplexed child and no one knew quite how to handle me. they still don't. I feel just as alone as I did then but without the veil of thinking I had a family to protect me etc etc. still processing the lengths they have gone to isolate me from the world and am attempting to combat it by forcing myself out of constant hermit mode, but mostly I will forever be afraid of people and their intentions, am consistently proven wrong when I think I can let my guard down, and remember fondly this time when we were sure the world was about to end. I was so looking forward to it all being over! I backed up my computer on about 30 multicolored floppy disks, mostly pictures of christina ricci I saved from across the internet. what did I think I was going to do with those? trade them for clean water at the apocalyptic marketplace? anyway happy 25th.

[dumbeggarchive]

Q: why is cyborg cookie your icon instead of leek A: tbh ive associated egg more with cyborg, and also because i feel like it

Q: whats the purpose of this account A: one is that i apprechiate archive accounts, two is that alot of people enjoyed their work and this is a way for them to enjoy their content again, three nostalgia? in a way

Q: *why* exactly are you looking for their videos A: i was featured in a collab, i remember how i bragged about it to some kid in 5th grade, remembered that and went "huh, i want to see that again" and spiraled

Q: have you known egg A: yeah, infact its *kinda* the reason why im looking for their videos, we havent talked in a long time though

Q: do you know where egg is A: no i dont, last i know egg was doing better since they left, and i dont think its in best taste to find them either way, leave them alone

Q: what are you using to find their stuff A: went through way back machine to find thumbnail / art, images to find some of the screenshots ive posted, thats it i think

Q: i have a video saved, how do i send it to you? A: either through the email in my about page, or putting it in google drive and sending the video over to me

Q: are you dumbegg? A: no im a 16 year old trying to survive highschool thats autistic about warrior cats, hope that helps 👍

Q: how long have you been into cookie run A: since 2019 (ironically enough cyborg menace was my first event lol), but i wasnt hyperfixed on it during 2020, basically it keeps comming back every other year (small interest though as of now)

Q: whats your main account? A: i might drop like a "hey this was me lol" but i wont really include my current usernames so most of what youll probably see are my old usernames ive used when i was 12

Q: why do you post stuff like thumbnails, art etc A: for thumbnails its so that it can be recogniseable and i try to collect descriptions and upload dates too to make it feel "complete"? i guess, as for art its the same as the videos people probably liked it and while not as important i thought itd be neat

Q: what if egg comes to talk to you A: if they tell me to take down everything ive found *i will*, its their right, they have deactivated their channel for a reason and i wont blame them if they feel that way, other then that depends on whats being said

Q: why do you add "leek cookie" to the tags sometimes A: to get more reach, listen i hate it just as much as you that theyre only recused to "haha leek simp" but thats litterly the only thing people would care about if you mention them, and algoritms and stuff ig, this only applies to some text posts though, if its like a video or something ill tag the characters that appear in it only (cyborg is sometimes added cuz its my layout and see Q 1)

Q: what the fuck are you talking about in your update videos A: im not a native english speaker and im terrible at wording, hope this also helps

Q: whats ur fave danganronpa character A: sonia nevermind 👍

[feathernotes]

Alright friends, I’ve had some people ask already about the current webcomic sphere, specifically how Webtoons treats its creators, so I’m going to give you a small run down of what really has upset not only me, but the many webcomickers in and outside of what WT has been doing. Before we dive in though, I want to make it clear that this is NOT a post to shit on ANYONE who uses WT. Webtoons works because it knows we need to eat and pay bills- it works because we want our efforts to be seen. People who use the platform are not the problem here, it’s how it’s changed reader (and our own) expectations over these last 6 years into something damaging to folks who just want to survive and thrive. With that, let’s get into some details. Over the past 6-7 years, we’ve seen a pretty big shift in the webcomic sphere, I’ve already talked about how I feel about that shift here with many other folks responding to feeling the same.. So, what exactly happened? Well, webcomics have always been an indie medium for anyone and everyone to try their hand at. You could improve over years, strip comics of any sort took off, you could have large epics of thousands of pages and potentially grab some cool following, flash style comics thrived (yes, i am finally mentioning homestuck, this is for you guys) and it was all done with whatever skill set or level you were at the time. Expectations weren’t what i would call ‘low’ but open to the idea that a good story could come from anywhere. When did that exactly change? Webcomics had an interesting relationship with being ‘profitable’ in certain circles, project wonderful was a great way to earn some rev, and webrings shared works to new readers daily. It was a time to explore, have fun, be messy, and with little expectation to boot. But then everything changed when the fire nation- when webcomics we’re seen as more than just comics on the web. The fall of smackjeeves probably marks one of the largest shifts in webcomic spheres to where we are now, and with that, the rise of platforms who want your comics FAST and Professional as possible (emphasis on fast). We’re going to talk about the elephant in the room now. Over these last years, it was a promising premise to have apps where you could upload comics to thousands (now millions) of readers to check out. It was an answer to what many folks had wanted for so long: Access to potential readers, access to potential ad rev, a chance to strike it big and have your work truly recognised! It sounds incredibly awesome to younger creators especially who’s first forray into webcomics was this. It can’t... really be that bad.. can it? Spoilers, it was, and still is.

Following the classic tokyopop model  of taking advantage of newcomers to the comic scene, Webtoons creates similar, if not more intense demands from these creators to get any success on their business model. Infamous accounts of creators drained, overworked , and underpaid- all on top of scraping for any sort of help from WT itself as far as promotion, editorial, and assistants go. In fact, there are many articles that talk about this treatment and more to come, as originals and canvas creators on WT open up about their treatment over these last few years. It’s not good. The worst part about all of this, is that WT knows. It knows about how hard and taxing these demands are, and that their expectations they’ve instilled onto their userbase will only want more and higher quality- but at what cost? Said in this article, “webtoons are low-cost to produce- one person can make them with a tablet and stylus”, while the artists are struggling on all accounts to keep up with this demand, is a picture perfect example of how disposable creators are at the end of the day. I cannot write about the mistreatments without mentioning the passing of Jang Sung-rak, the creator of Solo Leveling due to being treated as such. Or about the tremendous efforts of Original Creators trying to find some kind of middle ground to meet in this open letter of harsh mistreatment (and the bravery of the many who came forward too).  The unfair contracts that continue to reap benefits while you are left behind. The extreme lack of any support for its own creators... And unfortunately so much more. I’m not the end all be all with this, and I certainly cannot cover everyones experiences on the matter either. I simply want creators to be treated better, on any sort of platform that promises a future. And it’s not just a webtoon problem either. This doesn’t stop at webcomics. At the end of the day, and the end of this very long winded response- I want you to know how much it means to support creators- illustrators, animators, writers, youtubers, musicians- all of us.

How do we change this? Well.. a little support goes a long way. If we didn’t have to use these predatory platforms to pay the bills, if we could create without having to do the ‘promotion dance’, if we had that stability to just be indulgent with our own creative outlets- well, i’m sure that would be a very different story. But for now, and with everything you’ve learned from above to see how hard folks work to get that story to you (and mostly free to read), try to support them in any way you can. Boost their work- sing praises to your friends to check it out, maybe get some merch or donate if that suits you more. Click off site if the work is hosted on their own, share your fan works, send some asks. At the end of the day, your support is what will help change how creators are treated. Your voice matters when creators talk about the struggles to create and survive. We’ve got a long way to go, but take this as an opportunity to tell your fave creator how much their works means to them- they’re gonna need it!

★Also, support smaller comic hosting places if you want to post your webcomic too. Comic Fury has been my go to for reccomendations, and comic rocket and the webcomic library are neat places to find webcomics. Webcomic collctive Spider Forest has been helping the community since 2004.★

I'm going to have to talk about Webtoons(company) at one point, and its... impact on the webcomic sphere too. Trying to find the most eloquent way to say that these companies aren't your friends, and that I am seeing more and more creators getting chewed up and spit out when these places are done with them. I'm legit worried for how The Content Creator model is going to hurt so many more people, who have been led to believe that this is the only way to get their work out there.

[lemonjoonah]

The Garden Thief (M)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Word Count: 9.3K Genre: Hybrid AU, romance/drama/comedy, enemies to lovers Warnings: Unprotected sex, oral sex (fem. rec.), they get down and dirty outside but no one else is there to see them, cum play? (just a little), there’s also a bit of mud (sorry, but also not sorry, they’re outside what do you want from me?!?!), referenced hybrid neglect and oppression (hybrids are wrongfully deemed as pets by law and the majority of society).  

Summary: Your beloved vegetable patch has once again been victimized by a hungry thief in the night. The prime suspect? Jeon Jungkook, your neighbour's rabbit hybrid. But when you finally confront him, he pleads innocent, and proposes a plan to clear his name.

A/N: I wrote this fic’s premise and opening scene for the ‘A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words Game’ that I played oh so long ago and now I’ve finally finished the tale!

...

“Oh for fuck’s sake, not again!” You swear upon seeing the leafy green remains of several carrots lying in your garden, inches from where they used to be buried. This maddening mystery of the vanishing vegetables has been playing out all summer. You’ve set out deterrents for every possible garden pest, rolling out chicken wire and spraying natural remedies to repel anything from bugs to small rodents. Yet you still wake to find that your garden has been robbed in the night. The only possible suspect you haven’t been able to protect against resides just next door, in fact—

You squint up at the boarded fence, spotting a pair of long dark ears peeking out over the posts. “Jungkook, is that you?”

The ears immediately disappear, ducking down behind the barrier. The sound of his hurried footsteps trailing away are followed only by the slamming of a door.

You rush into and through your own house carrying the wilted carrot greens. Exiting out the front, and over to the house next to yours, where you repeatedly press the bell.

The entry whips open on the fourth ring to reveal Jungkook. His face is flushed, beads of sweat racing down his brow, and a shirt that one would normally use to cover their chest, is instead thrown over his shoulder. “Something wrong neighbour?” He asks with a carrot stick in hand. Bringing it to his mouth, he taunts you with a bite and crooked grin.

“Is-is your caretaker home?” You stutter trying your best to swallow your nerves. Concentrating hard on his face, you plead with your eyes not to wander down. That’s exactly what he wants, a reason to put you off your mission, to make you so flustered that you have to walk away. He’s always trying to use his allure against you, and you hate how often he succeeds doing just that...  

“No, he’s at work.”

“When will he be back?”

“Not sure, maybe a week, or two? He’s on a business trip.”

Your gaze falters in it’s determination for a brief second as a drop of sweat descends from his neck to his chest. Holding your breath you watch it’s path, tracing the valleys between his muscles. When Jungkook finally wipes it away your brain catches up and scolds you for your weakness. “And he left you here, alone?”  You ask, while trying to recollect your dignity, reminding yourself of how much grief he has put you through.

“Of course.” Jungkook’s smile grows. “I’m not just some common pet. I know how to behave myself.”

The statement makes your brow twitch, enraging you enough to overcome his tactics. “I know you haven’t been here long, but you should know, people typically don’t like it when someone steals from their yard.” You lecture him, waving the carrot tops in front of his face. “So stop treating my garden like your own personal snack bar!”

“Now why would I take from you? I have plenty of food here, even got another delivery this morning.”  The hybrid kicks at a box next him filled with a vibrant collection of fresh produce and grains.

“I don’t know why. I just know it was you.”

“Prove it.” He prods, while taking the last bite of the vegetable from his hand.

The loud crunching gnaws on your composure, stripping you of any patience you may have had for the hybrid. “This all started when you moved in, and I’ve ruled everything else out!” You shout, but as good as it might feel to finally vent your anger, you feel as though you’re somehow playing into his hand.

“That doesn’t seem like very good evidence. It’s circumstantial at best. If you want to find out who the real culprit is you should have a stake out.”

“A stake out?”

“Yeah, you know, watch over the garden for the night, catch the criminal in the act. I could even help if you’d like.”

You scoff at the ridiculous notion. “You really think I should invite you over to guard my crops?”

“I do, so I’ll come over tonight? Say around seven?” You open your mouth to object, but the rabbit hybrid jumps from one statement to the next casually inviting himself into your own home. “Perfect. See you then.”

“I didn’t-no wait, that was sar-” The door closes between you before you can finish. Leaving you baffled and alone on the doorstep. You ready to knock but stop just before your knuckles hit the wood. Trying again right now is a lost cause, it’ll just play into his game. So why waste your breath when you know it’ll just end the same way? Tonight then, as he suggested, that’s when you’ll be ready to hit him with some hard evidence that he won’t be able to refute.

Admitting defeat for now, you retreat back to your garden to pick the surviving vegetables and contemplate the encounter. You wish your could have just spoken to Jungkook’s caretaker—fuck what was his name again? You’ve only seen the man a couple times since they took the house, but at least he doesn't give you a nervous knot in your stomach, or leave you confused and speechless like his hybrid does.

It’s been three months since they moved in. You were excited at first, to have new neighbours in your almost vacant cul-de-sac. Buyers don’t seem to be interested in the old houses with large lots in your area. Too much work to maintain, and not enough good job prospects to go around. So when you saw the sold sign go up you were beyond thrilled. Greeting the new residents with a fruit basket and a smile.

The rabbit hybrid you now know as Jungkook appeared rather shy at first, you did your best to welcome him. Always greeting him when he was outside, trying to engage him in small chat, but the first time you caught him during his workout everything changed. Until that point you had not considered him as anything but a prospective friend. You were stunned to see him in such a confident state, throwing around his weights like they were nothing. In that moment, with you too nervous to admit that you found him attractive, you became the anxious and blubbering fool in his presence, and he, unfortunately, took note. The once quiet and cute rabbit, became a flirtatious and bratty bunny.

And since then, whenever you would work in your garden he’d be on the other side of the fence grunting and panting. Staying close to the gap in the divider, a missing panel you had yet to replace. On days like today you would often look up from your radishes and accidentally lock eyes with the hybrid, drenched in sweat and showing off his skills.

Out of respect and self preservation you tried your best to not to pay attention, to keep your nose buried in your garden, but as the weeks went by the vegetables under your care started to disappear. The ample crops you tended to in the evening, lessened by morning, with only the refuse remaining to indicate it’s former presence. You didn’t want to point fingers immediately, but today was the final straw, and tonight no matter how hard he tries to distract you, you will find him guilty.

After harvesting the choice crops for the day and watering the rest. You dust yourself off, settling inside and in front of your computer; opening the visitors page for your place of work, the city's greenhouse conservatory. To help promote the centre in the community the staff all take turns writing articles revolving around their own projects or home gardens, and you’re up next in the rotation. You stare at the blank document for several minutes trying your best to concentrate on the task, but you are unable to think of anything other than the mischievous hybrid next door.

Embracing the topic of your aggravation, you start the post off with a title sure to catch the eye of any reader, ‘Garden Thieves.’

‘We’ve all been there, finding a tomato just about to reach its peak ripeness. We give it another day to grow into perfection, only to find it missing later on. In your absence something else has taken it into its own clutches. I myself have been dealing with a vegetable thief for several weeks, so if you are struggling like I am, here are a few things that might help. ’

You proceed to outline several garden pests uploading photos of their damage, along with quick remedies to deter their presence. Netting to block the sparrows, raised beds and fences to keep out most rodents or mammals, and a caffeine solution to stave off slugs.

‘I hope this may help you all in your efforts to keep your plants safe, but I must add a disclaimer. Unfortunately nothing here is completely foolproof. Even if you do follow all of these steps you still might lose some of your crops to a crafty critter. But I wish you the best of luck on all of your backyard battles. I myself plan to face off with my own long-eared menace tonight.’

You finish your post with a smile. Sending it off to your coworker Namjoon to get his approval before you make it public.

He calls a few minutes later, his laughter carrying through the speaker. “That was easily the best article you’ve written all year. You should definitely post it.”

“Thanks.” You chuckle, hitting the submit button. At the very least feeling a bit relieved to have one less task weighing on your mind. “I really appreciate it.”

“No problem. I take it you’re still having trouble with that hybrid neighbour of yours?”

“Yeah,” you groan. You’ve complained to Namjoon about the issue several times in the past month. It must have been all too easy for him to read between the lines and see what set you off to create this specific entry.  “But he refuses to admit it was him. It’s like he’s trying to make me question my skills as a gardener and I hate it! I went over to talk to his caretaker but he’s away on business for a couple weeks.”

“He left him alone for that long? What about food?”

“He’s been getting deliveries. By the looks of it, he has a healthier diet than I do.”

Namjoon pauses on the line giving you only a simple, “Huh...” in a long break.

“What?”

“Well it’s just-” A loud buzzing sound erupts through the phone line cutting off his answer. A noise you know to indicate someone is at the back door. “That’s weird. I didn’t think we were supposed to get anything delivered today. No one else is here.... did you have anything scheduled to come in?”

“No.” You double check the calendar sitting on your desk. “I shouldn’t have anything until next Monday.”  

Namjoon puts you on hold while he checks on the reason for the interruption, returning only a minute later. “It’s a delivery all right, but are you sure these aren’t yours? I’m seeing a lot of tropical species on the invoice. Combretum rotundifolium, Heliconia angusta, Myrciaria dubia-”

You mouth a swear as Namjoon carries on with his list. It’s obvious they are indeed the specimens of your expected batch. You're in the process of redesigning one of the tropical habitats. The lead director was adamant that the conservatory host a butterfly exhibition in the next coming year, and in order to support the grandiose endeavour you are required to introduce a vast amount of new flowering species over the next few months. “How many in total?”

“About two dozen. Looking pretty rough from the journey too.”

You’re not surprised by their current state. This summer is already one of the hottest and driest on record, and all the stock you had received this season was excessively wilted and near death because of it. “Do we have any holding houses with humidifiers available?”

“Not at the moment,” There’s a clatter in the background as Namjoon sorts through what must be the slack of clipboards. “But I’ve got the inspection chart here and your last delivery did just finish it’s quarantine. No signs of pests or illness, so they’re clear to plant. That should free up some space for you.”

“That’ll have to do. Thanks for checking.” Standing up from your desk with a sorrowful sigh. You mourn the loss or your afternoon off as you start to dress for a day of hard labour. Throwing on your work-issued overalls over your t-shirt and shorts. Unfortunately you can’t just leave the new stock to sit out under the beating sun. With little humidity outside and no protection they’ll be burnt to a crisp if you delay too long. But the worst part is that your planting staff isn’t scheduled until later in the week, and that volume of work will put you well into the middle of the night before you complete it. “I’ll be in soon to deal with it.”

“That’s a lot of planting to do on your own. I can help if you-”

“I can’t take you away from your trees, isn’t there a bonsai exhibition next week you have to prepare them for?” He’s been agonizing over this showcase for so long you couldn’t possibly inconvenience him now with your own troubles. “It’s fine, really. I’ll call to see if anyone else is willing to come in today.” You hang up letting Namjoon return to his tasks, and work your way down the contacts for the gardening staff as you prepare yourself to leave. Though as expected, all of those who answer have prior commitments and won’t be able to assist.

Grabbing your badge and plans for the updates to the garden you slip back out into the noon-day sun, so strong it’s turned your car into an oven on wheels. You’re just about to pull it into reverse when you spot the blinds shift in your neighbour’s window. Prompting you to recall the plans he had made for tonight.

With all the work you have, it’s doubtful you’ll be back home for seven. You return to Jungkook’s door to give him the news. He has it open before you can even knock, his usual smirk crawling across his face as he greets you.  

“About tonight... something has come up at work and I really don’t know how late I’ll be.”

His ears perk up. “You’re going into the conservatory?”

“Yeah,” you respond, somewhat shocked that he remembered where you work. It’s been a couple months since you mentioned it while introducing yourself to him and his caretaker. “An order came in earlier than expected. I’ll likely be planting all day and night.”

“I can help,” he offers, already stepping out to join you, and locking the door behind him.

“You want to help?”

“Of course, isn’t that the neighbourly thing to do?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t want it or expect it from someone who terrorizes my own garden.”

“Allegedly,” Jungkook corrects. “And wouldn’t you rather have me with you, under your supervision, than here, all alone with only a measly fence between me and your impressive bell pepper harvest?”

“Stay away from my peppers!” You scold, pointing your finger at him. “Even if I wanted to take you, what about your caretaker? Don’t you need his permission to leave and work?”

“He’s never paid attention to my whereabouts before, and it’s not work if you don’t pay me. I’ll just be a volunteer. You have people volunteer all the time right?”

“Yes but-”  

“I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

“Alright, fine.” You finally agree though with a heavy dose of reluctance. Namjoon often brings his own hybrid in so it shouldn’t be a problem. “But if I see you nibble on even a single leaf, you’re coming straight back here.”

“Deal.” He rushes past you straight to your passenger seat and buckles himself in. Practically bouncing with excitement beside you as you pull out and head towards the conservatory.

The minutes pass and you try your best to focus on the road but you’ve never been so close to Jungkook in such a small space. And with his built frame taking up most of the car, he’s hard for you to ignore. His ears folded against the roof and his shoulders so wide they brush repeatedly against yours.

“Ever been to the conservatory before?” You ask, trying to divert your mind from the battle which builds inside you. A wavering war between frustration and attraction, with the former trying it’s best to pin down the latter, a move which only arouses the latter more...

“No, I’ve wanted to go ever since you mentioned it but my caretaker hasn’t had the time.”

“Oh.” A sense of pity joins the ranks of your emotions, nudging at you as you pull into the lot. “Sorry, I didn’t-”

“Why are you sorry?” Jungkook asks in a low whisper, snapping back to his flirtatious behaviours. His mouth turns up at the corner as he leans into you, so close that his drooping ears graze the top of your head.  “Would you have taken me earlier if I had mentioned it?”

“N-no,” you choke out. Placing your hand on his solid chest, you push him back and away. As tempting as his advance might be to accept, you know his forwardness to be nothing more than an act to make a fool of you. Why else would he try to both seduce you, and steal from right under your nose?  “You’re only here today because I am in desperate need of help, and I can’t trust you to be alone.”

...

You lead him through the unoccupied greenhouses. The conservation is closed to the public today (as it is every Monday and Tuesday); which usually allows for some time off, but at least now it’ll give you a chance to work unimpeded by visitors. Your own curated section is located in the most humid of all the houses, set in such a way to mimic the tropical environment you are attempting to represent.

The first stop is the holding house where the carts of new stock wait just outside.  Grabbing an empty trolly you enter and start to load up those that are ready to plant. Jungkook following your actions does the same, easily lifting the heavy planters that you yourself struggle with. “Thanks,” you whisper as he relieves you of a particularly burdensome tree. To which he smiles in return.

After making the switch, by placing the recent delivery in the house for it’s quarantine, you lead him to the supply closet. Where you collect a couple shovels, trowels, and two pairs of gloves. As you continue to scan for anything else you might require, Jungkook pops in behind looking at the shelves with a sense of curiosity. He reaches up and over you to a spray bottle labeled ‘slug repellent.’

“We won’t need that, it’s for the outdoor gardens,” You explain. “It’s just a mixture of ca-”

“Caffeine and water?”

You snap your gaze to him. “How do you know that?”

He bites his lip as a snicker starts to escape. “Just a bit of morning reading. I found an interesting article with that particular tidbit. One which also happened to reference the exploits of a long-eared menace.”

“Y-you read the conservatory blog? You read my post? No one reads that, there can’t have been more than ten views!”

“Which is such a shame.” He goads you. “I’ve found your work to be both informative and comical. You really have me rooting for you in your quest to catch your thief.”

You groan in utter fury. “Why must you be so-so-”

“Handsome? Funny? Caring?”

“Antagonizing!”

“Because you seem to take more notice when I am.” Jungkook answers, with a turn of his heel, his tail poking out from under his shirt as he starts to walk away with the cart. “And I like seeing that perplexed look of yours. Your nose is cute when you scrunch it up like that.”

You remain in the shed, your traitorous heart beating erratically over the fact that he called a part of you cute. While your more sensible side grabs your nose and smooths out the wrinkles he referenced.

“Should we get to work?” He calls out after you. “The sooner we finish, the sooner we can go home and expose that bandit of yours.”

You roll your eyes and follow him out, before taking the lead to your tropical glasshouse. The air sticks to your skin the moment you enter. Jungkook lets out a long exhale behind you tugging on the collar of his shirt. “Is it always like this in here?”

“It’s a bit warmer today, but not by much. Are you already regretting your decision to help?” You tease him.

“Nope,” he answers, slinging a shovel over his shoulder. “Show me where to dig, and I’ll get to it.”

Pulling out your plans for the new exhibit arrangement, you select a couple species placing them on the empty plots of garden as directed, careful to allow for future growth. Jungkook follows behind digging out their new homes faster than at least three of your staff members combined.

You stare at him for a second, unable to believe the pace at which he’s going. “Something wrong?” He asks, pausing to lock eyes with you.

“No, I just didn’t think you’d be so quick at digging.”

“I’m part rabbit, what did you expect?” Jungkook boasts with a chuckle and a raised brow. “I share their strengths. Especially when it comes to burrowing and fu-”      

His words are cut short when a fresh breeze from the outside washes over the both of you, a  sure sign that someone must have entered the greenhouse. Your neighbour goes rigid, his nose lifts into the air and his ears fall back flat against his head. “Jungkook what’s-” Leaping up he closes the gap and grabs you. Tucking you into him with his chin resting on your head, where a  warm and earthy scent envelopes you.  His breaths are quick and deep, causing his chest to rapidly rise and fall against your back.

Namjoon’s voice calls out to you. “... are you in here?”

“Over here!” You yell out in reply, before turning back to the hybrid who still has you locked in his clutches. “What the hell Jungkook? Let me go! Now’s not the time for your games.” Sure it might feel nice to be wrapped in his arms, to get lost amidst his aroma. At any other time you might even consider taking a moment before chastising his boldness. But here? Now? And with Namjoon coming to greet you? No, this is too much.

You try to push him away like you have before, but this time it’s as if he’s set in stone, and not registering you at all. He focuses only on the direction your coworker's voice hailed from. “That scent, he smells like-”

“There you are.” Namjoon interrupts stepping around a flowering bush and into view, looking surprised by your guest. “Oh, hello there.”

The point of Jungkook's chin rubs against your head as he grips you even tighter. Embarrassed and confused by the hybrids embrace. “Jungkook, this is Namjoon.” You introduce your coworker while delivering an elbow to Jungkook’s gut. He finally snaps out of his trace and lets you go though he continues to hover behind. “He works with the bonsai of the conservatory.”

“You must be the neighbour I’ve heard so much about, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Namjoon extends his hand to the hybrid, but Jungkook ignores the gesture, choosing to glare instead, with his nostrils flared and his ears pinned back.

“Jungkook?” You whisper trying to chase him from his mood.

Namjoon gives him a nervous smile. “You probably smell my hybrid, on me don’t you?”

“A hybrid?” Jungkook confirms, his eyes narrowed at Namjoon.

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t intend to scare you. I’m sure the scent of a predator, especially a tiger, is a bit of a shock. He’s harmless, I promise.”

“Is Taehyung here?” You ask, hoping to see his affectionate part-feline companion.  

“Nah, he’s with a friend today. I needed to get some work done and he’d be more of a distraction than a help... but it would seem that didn’t stop him from scenting my shirt before I left.” Namjoon explains, and then turns to your neighbour again. “Jungkook would you mind if I borrow her for a second? I need help with one of my tropical species.”

Jungkook gives a solemn nod. For the first time since you’ve known him, he looks frightened, and somewhat hesitant to release you over to your coworker.

Worried by his current disposition, you reassure him with a squeeze on his arm. “Just keep digging where I’ve placed those pots and I’ll be right back.”

Namjoon leads you into the adjacent greenhouse where you can continue to keep watch of Jungkook through the pains of glass. But the instant the doors close between you, Namjoon starts bombarding you with questions. “Why didn’t you tell me? How long has it been going on? ”

You take a step back having been caught off guard. “Tell you what?”

“About you and Jungkook! Is the feuding neighbours just a cover story?” Namjoon’s eyes are wide and hopeful as he carries on, not letting you fit a single word in. “Don’t worry, I won’t inform anyone you're together. I know it’s not easy having a human-hybrid relationship out in the open. But I think you should be careful about going out into public because he’s far too obvious about it.”

“We’re not- we’re not a couple. Why would you think such a thing?”

“Because the way held you, he looked like he was marking you with his own scent. That’s what rabbits do isn’t it? They rub their chins on what they want to claim as their own.”

“They do what?” You ask, stunned by the possibility, before the realism settles back in. It must just be Jungkook’s idea of a joke. “No, that’s not what he’s doing, our connection is nothing remotely like that. Don’t get me wrong he’s very attractive, and he knows it.” You mutter the last part under your breath. “But-”

“But you really are having trouble with him. It's not a cover?”

“You think I would keep something like that from you?” Namjoon over the years has come to be your closest confidant. A good friend and coworker, you would never dream of hiding something like that from him.

“I suppose not.”

“Is that why you brought me back here, to question my relationship status?”

“Not entirely.” Namjoon shakes his head with a small dimpled smile and changes the subject. “I do actually want to get your help with one of my new acquisitions.” He points out an unusual tree on his work bench, much too big for the pot it’s currently situated in. It’s extensive roots spill out over the top and threaten to swallow the pot whole. “A Ficus microcarpa, far from the most sought after species when it comes to reputable bonsai, but I couldn’t pass this one up. It has such good character.”

“What made it grow in such a way?” You examine the plant and it’s container with care, prying between the roots and taking note of cracks starting to form in the terracotta.

“The last owner neglected it for far too long. It sat hidden in the back of a commercial greenhouse, still under the watering and fertilizing system, but since it was confined to such a small space it tried to root it’s way out. If I were to guess, it probably hasn’t seen a new pot for at least five years.”

“It’s a miracle it survived.” You nod impressed by the tree’s determination. “What’s your plan for it?”

“Give it what it wants, let it leach out. I doubt I would be able to pry it out entirely without causing significant damage to the roots that are gripping the sides, so instead I want to put another bellow to catch it and give it the fresh soil and room it needs.” Namjoon lays the tree and pot down on the table, and asks you to hold and support the trunk, while he taps and pokes at the bottom of the vessel with a metal trowel.  Enlarging the cracks, but not breaking the pot fully. It’s a tedious process. The small chunks of clay are removed piece by piece, giving him access to see and free some of the tightly bound roots inside.

While your coworker continues his task, your eyes are free to wonder. You check on Jungkook through the glass, as he kneels in front of the garden bed digging even faster than before.

Namjoon appears to notice your distracted state. “How's he doing?”

“Fine I guess.” You whisper. “He’s acting stranger than usual today though. He stole from my garden again. Invited himself over to my house, then here, and you saw what he did back there.”

“Huh...” Namjoon mutters, trailing off the same way he did on the phone.

“What is this ‘huh’ you keep giving me? You know I don’t like games Namjoon. If you have something you want to say, say it.”

“It’s about what you said earlier, how his caretaker leaves for extended periods of time. Usually if an animal is alone for too long they look for ways to stimulate themselves and resort to their natural instincts, scavenging and such. But he’s a hybrid and therefore part human, so if you were isolated and restricted to your house what would you do?”

“Probably look for the closest person I could find. So he’s acting out in my garden and teasing me, because he’s lonely?”

“I think so.” Namjoon responds as he extracts another root, freeing it from its confines.

“But why?” You ask, worried for the answer to come. “Why wouldn’t he just say something?”

“There could be a number of reasons. He might not understand what he’s doing on a conscious level, or he might be afraid to show any sign of weakness to you or anyone else. Jungkook is part prey animal, and humans are all too often predators.”

“If that’s the case...” You curse yourself for not realizing it sooner. The fury you held for him slowly fades away as you replay every encounter in your mind. He was literally jumping at the chance to spend time with you, to help you with your work, and you were to blind to see it. Your anger over your missing vegetables is so trivial in comparison to what he must have been going through. The loneliness he must have felt, and the inability to admit it, you can’t imagine how he suffered through it alone. “What can I do to help him? I have no legal claim to him Namjoon. What can I do within such limitations?”

He looks down at his work in progress. “The way I see it  you and he, like this small tree, have three options. You could maintain the status quo, leave him be, but how long will he be able to survive like he is? Creeping over the edge but grasping on to nothingness?”

You shake your head vehemently rejecting the idea while Namjoon continues.

“You could report his caretaker for neglect, breaking the container entirely, but that too could be very damaging to him, tearing him away entirely could put him in a state of shock, and in a home that is no better for him, while the legal battle is decided. Or...” Namjoon grabs another container, slightly wider than the one in which the plant is seated. Filling it with substrate he takes the tree clinging to it’s partial pot and places it on top. Pressing the newly freed roots down into the soil.

“You could support him, give him a better home just outside of his own where he can be himself and access what he needs. I personally think it’s your safest option for now.” Namjoon leads over inspecting the bonsai and lowers his voice to an almost inaudible whisper. “Until the day, when it is possible to fully cast the pot aside.”

You nod, though now left to grapple with what you could possibly have to offer the hybrid.  “I’m not sure I would be the best person to care for him.”

“I think Jungkook would disagree. He was already trying to scent you. That to me, implies his desire for something more in the realm of an intimate relationship.” You choke on your breath as Namjoon comes to an additional conclusion. Upon seeing your distress he makes a suggestion. “Of course you could keep it strictly to friendship between the two of you and I’m sure that will improve his situation, but his other needs will need to be met for him to feel completely at home...”

“His other needs? You think he wants to be with me? Intimately?! No! Surely he would have acted differently if that was his intent! He’s done nothing but tease me when he catches me even remotely looking in his direction.”

“So you have been looking at him!” Namjoon taunts you with a massive grin. Apologizing a second later when you proceed to glare at him. “But to answer your question, no, not necessarily. You have to remember most of society deems him a lesser being. He could be feeling a lot of guilt and pressure not to engage with you in that way. Though he might not outright say it, I bet his instincts will continue to shine through. I’ll even prove it to you.” Namjoon takes off a glove and rubs your head. “I bet this rabbit of yours will take less than a minute before he tries to replace the smell of my hand with his own again... trust me.”

You shake your head in disbelief. “I should probably get back to him.” You are just about to step away when your thoughts return to the long neglected plant. “Where do you plan to house that when you’re finished? Ficuses naturally belong in a more tropical location don’t they?”

“They do, especially if I want to give it a better chance. It’s going to need a place far more humid than this space.”

“Was this all your calculated way of guilting me to store it in my greenhouse too?”

“The thought might have crossed my mind.” Namjoon gives you a sly grin.  “But my logic is still sound in regards to Jungkook. He needs someone, he needs a better home... and it would seem he’s chosen you.”

...

You wander back to your greenhouse, still full of doubt. Finding Jungkook to have finished most of the required digging.

“Sorry for leaving you.”

“You-you okay?” He asks, upon seeing the dazed look on your face and then scowling in the direction that Namjoon led you.

“Fine, he just needed help with one of his plants. Sorry about earlier, I didn’t think you’d be affected by the scent of his hybrid, Taehyung is rather sweet though, you’d like him.”

“You trust him then?” Jungkook grumbles as he pierces his shovel into the ground. “You trust Namjoon and his hybrid?”

“Of course, why shouldn’t I?”

“Because it wasn’t just a tiger that I smelled. He’s been around a lot of hybrids. Every scent on him told me to run, all of them put there by dangerous predators.”

“Oh,” you shoot back in surprise. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Taehyung is rather popular, he has a lot of friends and Namjoon often caters them at his place. You don’t need to worry, you're safe here.”

“It’s not myself I’m worried about.”

Jungkook inches closer as you crouch to place the plants in the holes he dug. His nose twitches as he takes a deep breath, his eyes watching while you bury the root ball in the warm soil, firmly securing the trunk of the young tree.

While you are leaning down, Jungkook reaches across to the other side of you. Grabbing the trowel to your right despite the fact that the same tool can be found on his left. The bottom of his chin grazes the top of your head and lingers for a spell. Your heart stops in that moment while questioning his motives. Though Namjoon said he’d do just this, you still can’t be entirely sure that it proves him correct; Jungkook might just not have seen the other option available to him, and he’s never bothered about invading your space. This could be nothing, though there’s a small growing part of you that wants it more and more to be something.

“He’s a good guy,” you promise, returning to the conversation so as to not dwell on his actions. “He even suggested that I should bring you along more often, if you’re interested in spending some of your days here.”

“He did?”

You nod.  A small white lie, but not entirely incorrect, and if it gets him to accept Namjoon easier you’ll all be better for it. “I wouldn’t expect you to work, but you're more than welcome to just hang around. The staff here could always use some company and I’m sure it would beat staying at home alone all day.”

“I would like that. I would like that a lot, but would you want me to keep you company too?”

“If that’s what you want to do.”

“No, I need to know if that’s what you want.” He looks over to you pinning you down in his line of sight.  

“I suppose I would....” You answer and turn your head, unable to bear the nerves that his gaze brings. The both of you fall quiet. Knowing what you know now, being free of your anger for him leaves you vulnerable, open to his persuasion, and now you are no longer certain of how to act. So you start to rely on what has made him comfortable in the past, and interject with a new condition to bring an end to the awkward silence. “As long as you treat this garden better than mine back home.”

Jungkook lets out a long laugh. “I have nothing but the highest respect for your garden.”

...

When planting is finished your clothes are entirely saturated in sweat and your muscles aching from use. It’s hard to believe how much you’ve both done in such a short amount of time. While carting up the supplies, Jungkook’s eyes catch on something behind you. You look around spotting the newly potted bonsai on a back table. Namjoon must have dropped it off while you both were busy.

Looking at it now you can’t help but notice how even the shape of its leaves remind you of the hybrid’s ears, long, pointed, and reaching up to the sky. You consider your friend's words one more time and while Jungkook leans over to inspect the tree. Reaching out to his back, your hand shakes with hesitation before setting down on a spot just below his shoulder. He softens under your touch, a low hum leaving his lips. His attention turns from the plant to you. With your hand still in place, your arm is now wrapped around him, leaving only an inch between the two of you. You stand there fixed and unmoving, but content in the knowledge, that you seem to have left him speechless this time. His eyes darting away from yours, to your lips, your neck, and finally the hand you place upon his chest.  

Only to have the moment broken when you can hear and feel the rumble from his stomach. His nervous laugh follows as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear.

“Hungry?”

He nods in response, his eyes wide as he remains unusually silent.

“Come on, I’ll buy you dinner.” You offer as you turn him around to head to the car.

...

You both settle on a take out spot, and return home to wash up and eat.

After finishing your meal and tearing off your overalls, you both settle down on the hammock in your yard. With Jungkook’s legs long enough to touch the ground, he slowly rocks the seat back and forth.  He’s been near silent since that close moment together. He’s never had a problem with banter and flirtation, but now you’ve come to notice that any attention which can’t be passed off as a joke causes him to flounder.

Laying back in the hammock, both full and content, your eyes threaten to close after the long day as Jungkook continues to sit beside you. The sound of crickets lulling you to sleep. “Keep an eye out for that thief of mine will you?” You may not like games but if it makes him comfortable, and keeps him talking, you’ll continue to play this ruse with him.

“You trust me to keep watch without your supervision?”

“Are you suggesting I shouldn’t?”

“No, it’s just a lot more credit than you usually give me.”

“I think you’ve earned it.” You whisper as you finally drift off.

It feels like only a few minutes of rest before the sun sets and the air turns cool. Jungkook’s chin comes to rest on the top of your head like it did back in the greenhouse. He shifts his weight, burrowing his arms around and behind to cover you as he takes deep breaths. You lean into him seeking the warmth of his chest. No longer restricted by your childish anger to enjoy his company is a welcome relief, you only wish you could relinquish him of any of his own troubles and doubts.  And then, you feel it, a drop of cold rain hitting your neck. The hammock moves again as he adjusts, the back of his fingers running across the damp spot. Another finds your cheek and he wipes that away too, your skin shivering in response.

But when a speck lands your mouth he stops. You wait, a second, then two. Your anticipation grows with face heating up and your chest tightening as you continue to crave his touch. You want him to wipe it away, to touch you, to act on whatever desires he might be keeping. You part your lips with the desperate hope that he will take the hint. Rejoicing when the warm pad of his thumb spreads the drop across the delicate skin.

He comes down on to you, his mouth catching any and all remains of the droplet as he encases your lips. Jungkook places a hand on your neck while the other grabs the ropes of the hammock, his legs straddle your hips. The scattered rain turns to a downpour as he remains fixed to your mouth, even his form isn’t enough to shield you from the current washing down from the sky.

As your hands reach up to his own damp and curling locks entwining your fingers in the strands he moans and nips. But as quickly as it started, so too does it end. When Jungkook snaps up as though jolted from a dream. His ears point back as an apology flows from him. “I-I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Jungkook,” you call out to him but he ignores you as he tries to detangle himself. When one foot hits the ground. You grab his waist and try again. “Jungkook, you don’t have to be sorry.” But instead of stopping he merely pulls you off and along with him, sending you both to the muddy ground, but this time with you on top of him.

“Are you okay?” He asks the loud pouring of the rain forcing him to raise the volume of his voice.

You chuckle at his concern considering he’s the one flat on his back. “I think I should be asking you that question instead.” You pause as he mirrors your grin. “Why did you stop? Did I do something wrong?”

“No.” He looks up at you, his brow furrowing. “You did nothing wrong. It was me. I was the one acting on my instincts. I shouldn’t have done that when I know how much you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you...” You explain, trying your best not to be drowned out by the water cascading down. “The things you did might have annoyed me, but I get it now. I’m just sorry it took me so long to notice.”

“Notice what?”

“How fucked up your situation is. For not realizing how alone you must have been. How caged you must have felt. I’ve been so focused on my own little world that I didn’t realize what was happening or why you were acting the way you were. I like you, a lot, but I was too wrapped up in my frustration to say how I felt...”

“It’s not your fault.”

You shake your head. “I am not innocent in this. I should have been paying more attention.”

“Then pay attention to me now.” He begs with his round eyes shining up at you.  

“But in what way? As a neighbour, as a friend, or maybe something more?" Your voice cracks in desperation, trying to find his needs while also hoping they are the same as yours. “Is that why you were always teasing me the way you did? You wanted something more?”

“You really want to know?” Jungkook’s tone is low as it grips on to his every word. “I did it because it was the only thing that could distract me from my incessant need for you. Seeing your reactions and having your attention kept me in check. I’m very different from you and I’m aware it could cause a problem. I wasn’t sure if you could ever fully want me because of that.” He reaches to rub around the base of his ears. “But every day that I looked over I wanted to hold you, to claim you, to take you right here on this very spot. So often I dreamed of jumping the fence and coming for you instead of...”

You smile down at him, noting his near admission. “Instead of?”

“Instead of watching from a distance.” He smirks, catching and narrowly fixing his statement. Pleading guilty only to his longing for you.

“Then do it.” You demand of him.

He groans from his position beneath you. “Don’t tease me like that.”

“I’m not. You weren’t the only one peeking through the fence Jungkook.” Reaching up to your collar you tug off your shirt. He follows your lead with his own to reveal his sculpted chest he’s taunted you with so many times. “I don’t care if we’re different from each other. I don’t care if it causes a problem.” You shift back on his body traveling from your seat near his stomach down to his hips, his clothed dick firm and pressing against you. A moan escapes his lips, confirming that you’ve made your point. “There’s no one else nearby, so if you want me so much that you’re willing to fuck me out here, in the rain and mud-”  

His hands come to grip your waist, and in one swift motion, he lifts you off, maneuvering out from underneath, to fall into place behind you. From there he pushes you down to your hands and knees, his body bent over yours. “You have no idea how much I want to.” He whispers with a kiss to your bare shoulder damp from the rain that continues to pour.

He takes off your bra before his face moves down your back, nose trailing against your skin and pausing at your shorts. Unfastening the button he pulls them down, freeing you of your underwear too before they are both cast aside. “I want to smell you, and taste you.” Jungkook takes in a deep breath, wrapping an arm around your legs, and barring your thighs. He buries his face between your legs, his tongue reaching out to deliver a long lick to your folds pausing after every lap.

Your palms dig into the ground, the cool mud coming to the surface to meet them. You buck against his tongue but the forearm holding you remains firm, sending your squirming downward to bury your elbows in the soggy grass too.

Jungkook chuckles as you inadvertently give him a better angle. From behind you can hear the zipper of his own shorts. Rubbing the head of his cock against your damp folds, he covers it with the slick of your slit, and with a long groan he eases it inside. He’s slow at first, letting you savor the girth and warmth of him. So you start to edge back and forward on his cock. Taking the time to enjoy every inch, along with the sounds that leave him. But when he returns to take control, the first thrust is so powerful, his thighs hit your ass with a loud clap, and every jolt of his hips after, drives you further down each time.

A stuttering groan escapes him as he fills you. Thinking he’s finished you lean forwards and until his cock pulls out, but in response he grabs your waist. Turning you over, back to the ground on top of the discarded clothes and facing him.

He lowers himself pressing his chest against yours. His fingers reach to grab your chin and take a kiss. His cock, despite having come only moments before, is hard once more and poised to enter once again.

“How are you-” You manage to squeeze a few words in the gaps between his kisses as he draws breath. “Ready for more-” Another pass of his tongue. “Already?”

“You have my hybrid traits to thank for that.” He moves to nibble on the side of your throat. “I have more to give you, if you want it.”

You nod unable to emit any noise other than a gasp as his mouth finds a sensitive spot on your neck. His dick forges in again, your slick and his cum dripping out of you as he fills you with himself instead.

You’ve avoided touching him with your own hands as they are patched with mud, but as his thrusts grow more powerful than even before, you’re forced to grab on his arms and chest. Leaving behind streaks of dirt which display the path of your grip. Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind though, in fact looks rather encouraged by your touch, and the marks you leave him.

“What a dirty woman you are, and getting me all messy too.” He scoffs while admiring your handiwork. “Can I return the favour?”

“Help me come first and you can do whatever the fuck you want.” You gasp on the brink of your climax.  

His ears perk up and a grin streaks across his face. “Close are you?” He grabs your calf and wraps your leg around his back, the other follows suit and his hand comes to rest on your lower back pushing you up and into him effectively grinding your mount against him.

You gasp and flinch with the sudden pressure, but he holds you firm as your back arches to meet him.

His hips beat on at a rapid pace, a small whimper escapes him as you reach the peak, tipping you over the edge. The chilling rain can in no way can douse the searing heat that spreads through you. You're still gasping when his jaw clamps down hard, his teeth poised upon your skin. The first pulse of his cock comes inside, but on the second he pulls out to splatter your chest and stomach with the rest. His hand comes to clutch his shaft, spilling more out and on to you with each stroke.

After every remaining drop has been cast on you he smiles, dragging his fingers across the rain drenched mess of mud and cum on your skin. “Never thought I’d ever see you so thoroughly soiled.”

You giggle at his remarks through your deep breaths. “And now that you do, what do you think?”

“I think it suits you, the dirt, the rain, and me...” He lowers himself down onto you, with his head now resting upon your shoulder. “It’s too bad though. Now I just want more, but we’re both far too filthy to carry on like this.”  

You turn to whisper at the base of his ear. “Who says we can’t continue in the shower...”

...

You wake early the next morning with the sun spilling into the room, lighting up your bed, and the hybrid sleeping next to you. His ears and nose twitching as he continues to rest. Slipping out from the covers, and into a set of clean gardening clothes, you exit the room with as little sound as possible.

On the tile floor of your hall, muddy footprints trail from your backdoor to your bathroom.  A smile pulls at your lips as you recall the events which brought them there. Jungkook had been so excited to keep going he picked you up and rushed you inside.

The feeling from the warm water and hands in contrast to the cool rain was enough to bring back the waves of pleasure. He was so thorough in washing you down, you might have to ask him to join you for another this morning and repay the favour.  

Outside in the garden you find all your harvest from the day before present and untouched. You’re pleased by this new development, but it’s not the fact that your crops are intact which makes you happy, it’s the comfort in knowing that Jungkook didn’t feel the need to take them.

A few minutes later the hybrid in question comes up behind you wrapping his arms around your waist pulling with him a blanket he took from the bed to cover the both of you. “Morning.” He mumbles, as his nose finds the crook of your neck where he exhales with a deep and relaxed sigh.

“Morning.” You respond, enjoying the tickle of his breath before you turn around to better see him. “It seems the thief didn’t strike last night. ”

“I guess they found a new garden to plunder and devour?” Jungkook suggests, giving you a sly grin, before he opens his mouth again. It’s easy to see that he’s getting ready to confess, his face shifts to a stern expression as he looks down at the ground, the guilt weighing heavily upon his brow. Placing your index to his lips you stop him. No longer needing to hear those words of admission, you offer a new proposal instead.

“Maybe, but that was just one night. The thief might still come back. So if it’s alright with you I would like you to stay here. Until we can be sure they won’t return.”

Jungkook lets out a satisfied chuckle, pushing aside your finger and pulling you tighter into his warm embrace. “You’re right, I suppose it would be safer if I stayed.” His lips plant a kiss on the top of your head where he then rests his chin. “A temptation as enticing as this, shouldn’t be left alone and unattended.”

...