#You should ask yourself why it is the image of a very progressive France they chose to show despite it not being what we are
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Yes I am enamoured with symbols, as it is healthy to be; doesn't make the Olympics any less of an ethical scandal and social aberration. The Left that rejects awe on the ground of immorality, that rejects wonder before art and culture when it exists outside of their (otherwise desirable) idealistic agenda, speaks to the few, and discards humaness. Especially when said symbols come from revolutionary history. Especially when the whole world saw them.
Rather, that Left should reflect on the power of symbols over our minds: can it be that this artistic ideal is something we yearn for?
#It is not to have been fooled to have enjoyed the OG openings#It's just to have dreamt#Believe me no one forgot the dead workers and students driven out of their accommodation and lobbies and ecological scandal and all the#money poored into cleaning the seine when french citizens overseas don't have drinkable water#You should ask yourself why it is the image of a very progressive France they chose to show despite it not being what we are#It appeals to people#Use this#And fucking stop opposing wonder with political fight#How little art you can enjoy then#Do you only read Les Misérables and Louise Michel? Is your world not dull?#Use those symbols as a tool#That hypocrisy you denounce says something#And the tears people shed says something#Political#But not only#Not only#Paris2024
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© Claire Mathon
Translated interview with Director Sciamma
‘We started a culture war‘
Andreas Busche and Nadine Lange, in: Der Tagesspiegel, 29th of October 2019
Additions or clarifications for translating purposes are denoted as [T: …]
Manifest on the female gaze: Céline Sciamma speaks about her period film ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’, MeToo in France and queer visibility.
In France, Céline Sciamma, born in 1978, is already revered as the new feminist and notably queer voice of French cinema, in the tradition of Claire Denis and Catherine Breillat. The director (‘Tomboy’, ‘Girlhood’), who writes her own screenplays, is largely unknown in [T: Germany]. This is most likely about to change with her fourth and most beautiful feature film so far. At the Cannes Film Festival, the period love story between the young painter Marianne and her model Héloïse, daughter of French aristocrats, won the Best Screenplay. Between the rugged landscape of the coast of Brittany and the candlelit interiors of an old villa, the film creates a utopia of solidarity and female desire, in which the characters of Marianne, Héloïse and Sophie the maid overcome class barriers.
Interviewers: Ms Sciamma, ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ is your first period film, it takes place a few years before the French Revolution. Why is this era important for your story?
Céline Sciamma: My interest in those years came from art history. At the time, there was an unusual number of female painters, hundreds in France and across Europe. It really moved me to discover the biographies of these women, who had successful careers. They supported each other and were very political. There was for example feminist art criticism at the time.
I: Noémie Merlant plays the painter Marianne, who is commissioned to do a portrait of Héloïse, a daughter of aristocrats. There are two main themes: the representation of female painters in bourgeois society and the female gaze – and how this [T: gaze] is reflected in the art world at the time. How are these themes connected?
CS: When I went into more detail about the work of female painters in the late 18th century, I realised how much the female perspective is missing from art history. For me this is the most painful loss, which results from the elimination of the female gaze: this relates to the artwork themselves, but also to what art brings to our lives, the memory of a kind of intimacy.
I: Marianne is not based on a specific female painter. But is she representative of women at the time?
CS: I collaborated with an art sociologist, who did extensive research on this era. All biographical details for Marianne correspond to the time in which she lived. The dynamics of a biopic – a successful woman who defies societal norms – never really interested me. My film is a manifest on the female gaze. But there’s also melancholy in this process, because we have to restore something that has been ignored for a long time.
I: Why melancholy?
CS: It makes me sad, because this perspective was withheld from me all my life. That is why the scene, where Marianne, Héloïse and Sophie the maid re-enact an abortion, is so important for the film. By painting an abortion, the act becomes art and is therefore represented. Art gives women the opportunity to tell their own stories. But it’s not only about the past. The topic of abortion is still virtually invisible in cinema.
I: How do you deal with this lack of female perspectives as a screenwriter and director?
CS: I was aware about the lack of queer and lesbian representation in cinema early on. But it becomes dangerous, when we don’t realise anymore that something is withheld from us. I noticed this again, when I watched ‘Wonder Woman’ by Patty Jenkins. It is hard to express how you feel when you know you’re not represented, and at the same time are oblivious to the power it can give you to recognise yourself in cinema. That was a new experience for me.
I: You were one of the initiators of the 50/50 by 2020 movement, which is committed to gender parity at festivals and in film. What do you expect from Cannes next year?
CS: I���m glad that this topic is finally taken seriously. We set out our target for Cannes and want more transparency in the selection committee. However, to achieve these, you have to introduce quota. The board will be replaced [T: next] year, let’s see how it works. We started a culture war. One of the most important things for me is the work on inclusion. The 50/50 [T: movement] and the film production/promotion agency CNC created a fund for cultural diversity in [T: film] productions last year. There’s usually less budget for films made by female directors, this inequality will be slightly mitigated. More than 20 films have already benefitted from this fund.
I: There is progress on one hand, but on the other hand some things are deteriorating again. Do you see it in a similar way?
CS: We had no MeToo-debate in France, unlike the one in the US. The [T: debate] was quickly hijacked and reinterpreted as discussion about free speech: that feminist film criticism would lead to a new form of censorship. You could feel the backlash in France. A good example: Sandra Muller, who created the French MeToo movement ‘Balance ton Porc’ [T: ‘Denounce your pig’, see here for the evolution of the term ‘pig’ in this context] just lost a libel lawsuit. Action was filed by the man, whose harassing statements she made public. The level of societal discourse is not where it’s supposed to be.
I: You lead by example: There are mainly women working on your sets.
CS: It creates a different atmosphere, that is for sure. But I’ll tell you something: Women only make up 50% of the crew, my crew is probably one of the most diverse in France. Claire Mathon is my cinematographer, but a lot of men work with her. My cutter is a man though. It’s about the right balance. The film world is very much dominated by men, but I don’t want to exclude anyone.
I: In Cannes, you said something similar about your colleague Abdellatif Kechiche, who was criticised for his voyeuristic gaze on women, for example in the Palm d’Or winner ‘Blue is the Warmest Colour’. Do you want a cinema, in which your and his gaze can exist side by side?
CS: We have to be conscious about our perspective. In France, I’m always asked about my female gaze, but no one is ever asking a [T: male] filmmaker about his male gaze. Which is still considered as gender neutral. Of course, you can love ‘Blue is the Warmest Colour’ as much as you love ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ [T: 😈], otherwise cinema will become a battlefield of ideologies. We just have to learn to read the images correctly. I would like to invite Abdellatif Kechiche to this relatively new discourse. But he should be asked the same questions as me.
I: You call ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ a manifest on the female gaze. What does that mean?
CS: It starts with the screenplay. I wanted to tell a love story on equal terms. There is no gender-specific power imbalance in the film. That was important for me, especially in a time, in which gender inequality was the social norm. There is also no intellectual dominance between Marianne and Héloïse, they both come from the upper class, are sophisticated and self-determined. Between them, they did not have to negotiate a status.
I: What role did your actresses play in this?
CS: I wrote the film for Adèle Haenel. But it only works if she has a partner who is equal to her. Noémie Merlant is about the same age as Adèle, they are even the same height, which cannot be underestimated in cinema. That’s why shorter actors often have to stand on a pedestal. All these considerations are political, but they are also an offer to the audience: for new emotions, for surprises. Equality creates freedom, because social rules are overturned.
I: As Marianne, Héloïse and Sophie keep to themselves, they are not exposed to the male gaze. They can move freely.
CS: That’s why I don’t think of my film as social utopia. Every utopia is based on our experiences and ideas. You cannot easily find this kind of solidarity among women, you have to create this freedom. That’s why I decided to exclude male characters. What I exclude from the shot also defines what is shown in the picture. That’s the power of cinema.
I: Your film is about the visibility of women. They tell each other, how they see one another – and thus create an image of themselves. At the same time, desire arises from their gazes. How do you create this feeling of intimacy?
CS: We offer a philosophy and politics of love. Even the depiction of queer sexuality in cinema is based on heterosexual paradigms. We first had to learn how to deconstruct this gaze on us. Similarly, it’s also about abolishing the outdated ideal of the muse. There is of course a hierarchy on set, but we tried to transfer the working relationships in the film to our shooting.
I: All your films have queer aspects. Do you ever had any problems to fund your films?
CS: No, but that’s because I don’t need so much money. ‘Portrait of a Lady on Fire’ did cost 4 Million Euros. If I had asked for 12 Million Euros, it might have been different. I can’t complain. I live in a country, in which I can make these kinds of films and be radical. 23 percent of French films are made by female directors.
I: It seems like there were more [T: female directors] recently?
CS: No, the figure has been constant for 20 years. We are just forgotten and then ‘rediscovered’. Think about Alice Guy-Blanché, who made films at the time of Méliès [T: around the turn of last century]. She did everything by herself, used the first closeup. She literally co-invented the cinema. But like all the women, who were active at the beginning of film history, they were driven out, when it was suddenly about money.
Still from ‘Be natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy-Blaché’ (Pamela B. Green, 2018)
#Céline Sciamma#Der Tagesspiegel#2019#Portrait of a Lady on Fire#German interview#Manifest on the FEMALE GAZE#Nope on Blue is the Warmest Colour#Alice Guy-Blaché#Cinema#My translation#long post
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on Conspiracy and Fear
1. Humans are humans
a. Like minded humans will think and act largely in the same way
b.Human minds seeks patterns, that’s how they survive
c. Simple answers are far easier than complicated ones
d. Humans doing b. follow c. while looking at a.
2. Malevolence and benevolence
a. Fact on the ground do not explain motive.
b. Belief of benevolent intention does not always lead to benevolent out come
c. Actions are very very rarely all good or evil. beneficial or detrimental
d Actions are never just a or b, they are rarely “on balance” a or b, they are usually some of a and b and a spattering circus animals and a couple crayon drawing of a child’s nightmare come to life.
3. Who can act as a god
a. Who really has the power to do what is claimed? Who needs to?
b. It is far easier to take advantage of a situation / crisis / fears than to make them from scratch
c. Any one with the power and knowledge to do such things knows all to well ....shit happens, including destroying yourself in the processes. So how arrogant are they? You would have to be the Chinese communist party. Even that is a reach
d. Don’t contribute to conspiracy what you can to incompetence... the simplest answer is likely the right one (Some under payed moron at a lab that sees live animal of all kinds for sale as food for his entire life thinks it might be easy enough to sell a dead lab animal or two for some extra money? )
4. Ass u me it is true
a. How much time are you going to spend chasing the thing?
b. What realistically are you going to do about it /get out of it?
c What difference will it make in a generation or two?
d Look at the most ridiculous conspiracy you ever heard of and find the person that will never be convinced they are wrong (flat earther, 9/11 truthers)
e. Image that France isn’t real... now image what would you have to be told, shown or do in order to be convinced otherwise..... you end up in a Truman show world or a simulation of some kind...... at that point what good is your conspiracy ( this is the point i dropped entertaining this stuff)
F....... It is a trap. You begin to take your simple explanation and begin to apply it to other things.... you get locked in and now everything begins look as if part of the the plot, ever more complicated and outlandish becomes evidence. all other explanations... all other ideas... all other possibilities move out of reach. Your wise and enlightened view of the world now bars you from that very thing.... What otherwise might of been a brilliant and beautiful human mind is lost...happens with progressive thought all the time
5. Misc.
a. IQ or education or money or skill or .... Is not a good indicator of virtue.
b. the smaller the number of actions your looking at the hard it is to discern intent
c. war for... oil or stable oil supply... fuel needed for a stable economy... that keeps people employed? We went to war for oil.... Ask a first grader what is going on if there is one apple on the table and your put one more on the table....the answers is clear and simple and true... Now ask a PhD in physics or math or biology what is going on..... not so fu..... clear any more and it might be just as true.
d. “We need to put the interest of worker over corporations”....... everyone cheers...... what did the labor rules in Europe get....... what have government unions got us here. There is a balance “in all things”. Corporations took advantage of politicians who we voted into office.
e. “If voting mattered...” A Trump.... B. your alternative is what... are you sure... and how do we get there. C. the culture in a society matters far more.. much much more.... voting may not matter because of that fact, not some conspiracy.
6......... The mechanics of how a gear turns and how it interacts with others is more important then trying to construct a reason why the clock doesn’t work the way you think it should
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Our Super Fun Cultural Dark Age. Some questions about what I’ve been soaking up.
-By a Sponge.
Fairy tales are interesting because they are originally cultural artifacts. Have you ever read Homer’s Odyssey or Iliad and noticed the language of the text? If not, give one a go!
A diversion further into why you might ‘give one a go’.
Secondhand bookshops are brimming with Homer. I mean that. Brimming. They’re practically paved in it. You’d be doing them a service. Most translations use very simple language (more accurate to the original text), honestly Harry Potter uses more complex language and if you don’t like it you can just close the book. So, you can’t have much of an excuse, eh?
*Thank you*
Welcoming one back to the actual direction of the writing.
Now then, regardless. Back to the actual point. They are full of ceaseless references to gods, divinity and praise to ‘Pallas Athena’ and such. I mean, these people probably had Athena bless their milk and Weet Bix every morning. These days, it might seem a bit much to many readers, myself included (pressed wheat scraps are blessing enough). However, these works are cultural artifacts, and as readers we can learn something from the interpretation of the time depicted. They offer a breath of fresh air from dusty old artifacts and lists of statistics from ancient bureaucracies. They give us clues into how actual, regular people, actually thought day to day. How their brains worked.
Broad, sweeping generalisations aside-
Generally, in pre-revolutionary France, it’s safe to say a great many people were hungry and angry with the unfair Ancient Regime. Therefore, the French versions of Red Riding Hood and Hansel and Gretel, told at the time were fatalist lessons. Pitting peasant guile against cruel and greedy hoarders of food, rather than treasure or power. Whereas in at the same time in Germany, the same stories were often told as cautionary tales, depicting the horribly violent fates of greedy peasants stealing and the scamming powerful forces around them. The French of the time clearly had a hero of sorts, however the Germans did not. There are possibly hundreds or maybe even thousands of versions of Little Red Riding Hood alone all around the world and all through history all with their own twists and conclusions relevant to the time and place.
The Brother’s Grim famously travelled around assembling these stories from Europe into definitive, marketable versions. More or less standardising fairy tales into the ones we know today. What this means however is that- and be warned, I’m about to make some broad sweeping generalisations! It means that more or less every human culture has had the same stories. From Ancient China to Rome, there was a culturally relevant ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ or ‘Hansel and Gretel’.
This is important to understand because these days, typically when fairy and folk tales are reimagined for an adult audience, they are taken in one of three directions.
1. Just how lovely and shiny must it be, to not be a dark age?
The first direction is retelling a familiar story or set of tropes and putting it into a more contemporary setting, such as, high fantasy or outer space. Media that does this is very well known, popular and recognisable. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Snow White and the Huntsmen, or Maleficent. Typically, these stories are written to appeal to a wide audience and follow particular tropes and ideas, making a big splash at the box office. They need very little introduction, so, that’s it really. Moving on.
2. Some might say analytics is just punching yourself in the gut, over and over again.
The second direction is in my opinion more interesting, the self-referential, deconstructive direction. As it typically targets a more niche audience, allowing for a more unique perspective and viewing experience. Media like Pan’s Labyrinth, American McGee’s Alice and Jin Roh: Wolf Brigade. All these reinterpret themes into a more contemporary context, keeping their value as cultural artifacts and ‘true’ fairy and folk tales. While I am not arguing that Star Wars and the Lord of the Rings are not an important part of our culture. They serve a moral and idealistic fantasy that offers an escape to the reality of the world. Rather than interpreting that reality into a fantasy setting. This isn’t to say one is better than the other, this is merely to highlight why one is a more valuable item to our history and culture.
This direction confronts the elements of society and culture that create fairy tales, they are simply a more direct line to the value of the stories. Perhaps then they are not the same, perhaps by doing away with a lot of the symbolism they are no more than blunt instruments? Perhaps it is not fair to lump any media like this together, as each is deserving of its own fresh analysis (I did however warn you about broad, sweeping generalisations). The same can perhaps be said for all of this. Finding the line that separates any of these things is probably more personal and this is all very subjective. So, bearing this all in mind, I will introduce the final direction.
3. Doctor Frankenstein, and how I learned to stop worrying and fear humanity.
The ‘Horror’ genre. Now, I will not allude to my warning of broad sweeping generalisations a third time. So by ‘Horror’, I will let you use your own opinion, informed or otherwise. Typically many cultural fears and taboos are explored through horror entertainment. In many ways this is the natural progression of the fairy tale. What makes a horror film scary is relative to what you as a person are afraid of. Films like Dawn of the Dead and It Follows are not particularly scary on their own. But the cultural baggage that follows them is. They pray on our insecurities, which is why different parts will be hilarious and terrifying to different people. The same is true for fairy tales, to a starving person, a Witch living in a house of gingerbread, who lures children in to cannibalise them is probably terrifying. To a starving hungry peasant your entire existence is a battle against a cruel system that starves you and exploits you. So, maybe it is in this way, fairy and folk tales are perhaps better viewed as horror stories?
That was a question. But you should probably just go on.
Each of these three directions are a part of our culture and so then a part of us. We need them all to keep our identities. However, the investment in escapist storytelling is an unfortunate trend. This habit of converting important artifacts into objects of escapist fantasy is perhaps damaging to us. It’s in a way a form of censorship and it impacts everyone’s own identity in some way. By not spending time and money on a more balanced approach to storytelling, but rather focusing on a more focused one. It can damage the storytellers themselves. For example, Disney’s company image often directly clashes with this and while they produce many technical and visual masterpieces. Personally, I don’t see them as particularly focused on preserving or analysing culture. Rather creating fantasies based off false, hyper real cultures. The more media a company like this produces along this line, the more normalised its direction becomes. Thusly, the more obscure silenced the other directions become. And while it is important to remember, there will always be demand. But there may not always be works of quality to satisfy that demand.
In conclusion: squeezing the sponge.
In many ways this is a very subjective line of thought and please treat it as an attempt to question rather than to answer. I am just trying to have a conversation and I hope this perspective helps you understand what you are soaking up a little bit better. As it has for me! If not, I hope it none the less makes for an interesting read (I have tried to make it fun, honestly).
To summarise. Paranormal Activity is more of a modern fairy tale than Maleficent. And Pan’s Labyrinth, while certainly using an archaic formula. It is perhaps better viewed as a brilliant satire in a classic formula than a modern fairy tale. The Avengers, Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings are culturally significant and incredible works of fiction, but offer little to society as a hole aside from first class, prime cut, rib eye escapism (that is not to say they cannot have great personal meaning and value). Lastly, history is more than dusty old ruins and bones. It’s more than lists and battle statistics. History is people. It’s us. And if our stories and artifacts reflect us. I think it’d be shameful to be remembered for an age of escapism.
A final thought-
To all of this, a quantity of pot might beg a question:
Does this then mean we create reality, based off a fear of ourselves?
I don’t know and I haven’t bothered to ask the question, sorry. Perhaps ask your neurologist?
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The College Society Chapter 4 Part 1
And here we go !
This is the last chapter of Liam’s 1st year at the university. It’s a long one, so be ready ;)
A new pov will replace Barbara starting now, I hope you’ll like it.
Damian-Nicholas Smith Carrey Friday March 8, in France
When people said him that he could write a book about his life, he never imagined what kind of book it would be. But now, he had quite an accurate idea. He would call it : 'How to change from the most famous hunter to a stupid and naive man in love'. He had gone through step one for a long time now : have a fucking ridiculous teenage crush. And now, he started step two : be in a relationship with your so-called crush. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey wasn't someone easily flustered. At least on paper. But when it come to the baboon, it was a true disaster. He must have left his pride back in the US.
"What do you think ? Isn't this one better ?" asked Liam.
The junior looked at him, his brows furrowed. They were doing shopping for souvenir. Well, the baboon searched little things for his siblings and Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey tagged along.
"I dunno. There are the same to me."
One was a key chain with the eiffel tower, the other with the Arc de Triomphe. Both were low quality products anyway. But the baboon finally picked one, and they went out of the store.
"Where are we going next ?" asked the blond lad. "There is plenty of time before our departure..."
"I bought everything I wanted." replied his boyfriend. "So I thought we could hum... take some time for us ?"
He blushed when he said the last word, which made Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey blush too, and then they both blushed even more. This is an endless circle of pathetic shyness. I mean, I eat ass every other day, so why am I so prude right now ?
"Fine." he agreed anyway. "Lead the way."
They honestly had a good time. It was fucking weird to enjoy this at much as sex. Maybe even more. They went for walk the length of the Seine. Liam ate a box of pastries along the way and they talked about this and that. This is the end of my damned life. I'm having a silly conversation with someone. It must be the first time since... I don't even fucking remember. They were on their way back when Liam sighed.
"I'm happy to have you Dami." he whispered.
All this romantic bullshit was so embarrassing. Do I like it or not ? Just get a grip dude ! Not only he was having a damn date with his boyfriend, but he also looked like the flustered one here ! No one must ever know it happened. The baboon took his hand.
"I'm serious you know ?" he continued. "I mean, I'm still very worried about a lot of stuff... Nate is my main concern, but I'm also still preoccupied by my father. And I can't deny my story with Kilian is giving me an headache. But I'm really happy to know you're here."
"First of all baboon, it doesn't suit you to be so serious." replied Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey while trying to regain composure. "Secondly, there is nothing in what you said that can't wait tomorrow. You've the right to enjoy a little time for yourself with someone you love."
Liam blushed. He kissed his boyfriend to thank him. Holy crap. I'm getting good at the cheesy stuff too. Well, it wasn't surprising : Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey was good at everything.
This evening on the plane, the junior felt a weird dread through his whole body. Suddenly, he stressed about his relationship. But there is nothing new... I mean, we already were a couple before. So what is different ? He quickly put his finger on it. I said to the baboon I loved him. I confessed my weakness. The hunters shall never know. Nobody in the university, for that matter. There are already too many fucking people aware of our relationship. I don't trust anyone about this.
"Hey dude."
Damian Nicholas Smith-Carrey glared at the sophomore who hailed him. It was the dipshit called Matthew, Theo's heir.
"What the hell are you doing here ?" he asked. "Want to suck my prick ?"
The cocky lad (it was obvious this guy was an arrogant bastard) smiled.
"Maybe another time. I just wanted to say D.R sent me the contract regarding Barbara. She has to stay away from Colton and all his friends starting now. So you won't see her again much."
"Don't give me that crap, idiot. I don't care about the roach. You can fuck her, so go on. Isn't it what you wanted since the beginning ?"
Matthew's smile grew larger. I can definitely see the ressemblance with this shitty Theophile now.
"Just go away, moron." he concluded.
Liam Sunday March 10 back in the US
"This trip has done some damage..."
The young lad bite his lips. I knew I had indulged a lot but that's quite a change...
"Do you dislike it ?" asked Nate, while slumping on his bed.
"Not really..."
He had been ages since the last time Liam had looked properly at his reflection. He was pleased with his general body shape. His face was finely chiseled. He had strong biceps and triceps. His legs were robust but thick just like his chest. His pecs were nicely standing out. Even his back was kind of burly. But where three month ago he had a blossoming six pack, he had now a modest amount of squishy flab. His bulging waistline was easily noticeable since he was only in briefs. But he wasn't dissatisfied.
"I think I like myself." Liam whispered.
"And that's a good thing." mumbled his bestfriend, his eyes closed. "You have nothing to be ashamed about, trust me."
The chesnut lad outlined a smile. I'm glad to see Nate is talking more and more. He was also pretty sure Dami won't judge him for a little bulk.
"I mean..." resumed the other lad. "You're even well-endowed."
It made Liam blush like hell. (Not that he didn't take the compliment.) (Who could blame him ?).
The freshman expected things to improve since they came back from France. After all, Nate was getting better, Nick was actually making some progress at swimming and Dami literally confessed his feelings. It looked like the unicorns were finally powerful enough to repel the forces of evil. (After all, he had been feeding them with his dreams for months now !). So when a girl went to talk to him during his training this afternoon, he completely ignored her. (Not on purpose of course !). He was just so happy that he couldn't focus on anything. He went throught weight lifting and then legs exercises without noticing the many people who accosted him. He left campus without taking note of the lustful looks around him. I think I'm happy. The talk with Kilian had freed him. He was so glad to know the force of evils failed to take his ex-boyfriend. Anyhow, he finally went to work. As soon as he arrived, Judy came to him.
"Oh god Liam here you are ! I was so worried !" she shouted.
He blinked, not sure to have heard right. (Not that he often didn't heard people or anything...). What was she worried about ? Did he forget something important ? Something life-saving ? Maybe the aliens were gonna attack soon ?
"Liam focus ! I'm trying to have a conversation here !"
Judy clicked her fingers right under his eyes, breaking his thoughts.
"Are you alright ? Did someone do something to you ?"
"What ? No." he replied, surprised. "Why ?"
She frowned.
"Are you and Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey still a couple ?" she eventually asked.
Liam blushed. I think I'm supposed to keep it a secret but... He could trust Judy, right ?
"We are." he replied. "But what is your point ?"
"Be prudent when you're not with him okay ? I never thought I would say that one day, but I think you're safer with him around. Even if I still bet he'll hurt you in the end, like he did with everyone else."
Liam nodded. Their boss was calling them. I'm not sure I understand what she meant... However, he was certain Dami wouldn't said "I love you" so lightly. I'm special to him, I'm at least sure of that.
When he arrived at their flat tonight, Nick announced Nate wasn't there. Apparently, he had left for a talk with Archibald. It reminded Liam there were still things he wanted to improve in his life. My bestfriend and my poor family situation should be my priorities. He had no doubt the unicorns would agree on this. Besides, everything was linked to the forces of evil anyway. He grabbed a slice of pie in the fridge and joined his roommate. (Of course a pie made by Dami. Now that he had tasted his boyfriend's pastries, it was very hard to eat anything else to be honest.). (Once you visited heaven, you wouldn't come back, right ?).
"I can tell he's doing better." said Nick while staring at the screen of his console. "But I also can tell he went through something very disturbing. What do you think they're talking about so often ?"
"I don't know." admitted Liam. "But Dami assured me Archibald was a good guy so I trust him."
Of course, the chestnut lad wanted to help. And yes, I want to know what happened. (Curiosity is not a sin). (Glutonny is, but Liam didn't think much about it).
"Yeah well, until now we can say whatever he's doing is working." agreed Nick. "You should go to sleep... Wait, are you snacking ?"
Liam took a mouthful of his pie and chewed happily.
"This is just too good." he explained.
"You were sooooo against food at the beginning of the year." laughed his roommate. "I never imagined you were such a foodie."
Well... Seems like I changed my mind.
Nicolas Monday March 11 – Tuesday March 12
< Imagenius : yo what's up ? >
< TheSavior : long story short it sucked. I m better looking at my screen and playin'. Wht abut you pal ? >
< Imagenius : long story short my roommate is fuckin' loud while talkin' with her new friends. I hate people with actual life you know ? They remind me I'm a loser >
< TheSavior : won't say I know the feeling cuz I dont. >
< Imagenius : lol becuz right youre so popular >
< TheSavior : at least i hav friends outside a lame chat bruh >
< Imagenius : bruh >
< Abeautifulwomen : guys I do to. >
< Imagenius : as if a man who claims to be a girl could. Anyway Sav can you send us another pic of this cute roommate of yours ? Pretty please ? >
< Abeautifulwomen : Same. But hey Ima are ya gay ? >
< Imagenius : Joker ? >
< TheSavior : need 2g. I'll turn the chat off. I don't hav any another pic >
* Abeautifulwoman is offline *
* Imagenius is offline *
* TheSavior is offline *
Nick sighed and looked at the clock. Almost midnight. Nice. I can still play. He slowly stood up and headed to the kitchen. First of all, he needed supplies. The raven-haired boy opened the fridge and grabbed a slice of pie and a beer. Two beers. He knew Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey had cooked it for Liam but whatever. His friend wouldn't mind. Nick came back to his room and turned his console on. A sligh whine came from his roommate's bedroom. Nate was having a nightmare again, he guessed. It was happening every other day. Not like if I could just ask what's wrong. If he doesn't talk to Liam, he won't talk to me. The lad drank his beer and started to play. He was good at it at least. He finished the level rather quickly, only to notice he had already ate the pie and emptied the beers. Again, he stood up and headed to the kitchen. Not that he was hungry, but he liked to play while chewing something. This time, he opted for ice cream. And beer of course. Then, he took his playing up again. One hour later, he was done with two more level. And he had devoured the ice cream. So once more, he stood up and headed to the kitchen. No wonder I'm fat. He put his snacks on the counter and patted his belly. When he had entered college he had been a twig. But the sudden freedom allowed him to indulge without his parents constant nagging. Maybe he had enjoyed it a bit too much. When he had come back at home for the christmas holidays they weren't very happy about his changes. Himself had been surprised to discover he had already hit the freshman 15. Now this limit was beyond him. I checked when we came back from France. I weight 89 kg (196 pounds) now. Almost 200. Nick shrugged. He didn't really care. He took his snack and continued to play.
The next morning, he got ready quickly. Unlike Liam, he wasn't dozy on the morning. Well, Liam was dozy all the time so bad comparison. They left together for the first lecture. When they arrived, the first thing Nick noticed was Barbara. The girl hated him for some absurd reason. She was so obnoxious. Then, he glimpsed Rebecca. Another one he couldn't understand at all.
"And to think I've been interested in her..." he mumbled.
Liam didn't hear him. That was the good thing with this dude. I could've been screaming, he wouldn't notice. They joined Colton who greeted them warmly. Nick turned on his gameboy but he wasn't paying attention to the screen. He knew the game by heart since middleschool anyway. Instead, he looked at his friends. He often did that without them noticing. Everyone assumed he was just another nerd but he was an observant nerd. Their trip in France had took a toll on Liam waistline aswell. If I'm looking closely enough, I'm sure even Colton's ever slim frame must've softened a bit. Nick was pretty sure this one would lost it in one day or two. As for his dreamy roommate... I think he will keep it on purpose. He seems to like it. Well, both of them were handsome anyway. The raven-haired boy didn't have this luck. He heard someone laugh behind him. The person whispered something about pokemon being a lame game. Another talked about his little bathing in the Seine. Not a day I want to remember. Seriously, classes were so boring...
Noon eventually came. Nick hit the buffet of the cafeteria like a ravenous beast. He needed his daily amount of junkfood to functiun properly.
"What do you think about the math assignment ?" asked Colton. "Shall we work on it tonight ?"
"I finished it already." he revealed. "But I'm sure Liam would be glad to do it with you."
Of course, his roommate wasn't listening. He was looking away while munching on home-made cookies. And new thing, he was crooning. I know some very weird people but they can't hold a candle to him. Nick discreetly kicked him under the table.
"Uh... What ?"
"Welcome back to earth." he said. "Colton wanted to ask you something."
Nick didn't listen to their conservation. He had glimpsed Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey in the crowd. Another strange dude. Since I came here, I met too many real character. He looks pissed. I mean, more than usual. He was talking to a girl. Well, probably insulting the girl to be fair.
"... Swimming tonight ?"
The raven-haired lad turned his attention towards Colton.
"No thanks." he replied when he had guessed the question. "I'm not very... at ease when there are so many people watching me."
His friend smiled.
"Of course."
* TheSavior is online *
* Abeautifulwomen is online *
* Imagenius is online *
< Imagenius : yo ! Day was booooring. How was yours ? >
< TheSavior : Same as usual. Couldn't wait to be back in my flat >
< Abeautifulwomen : Mine was fine. I don't actually leav my flat. Lucky me ! >
< Imagenius : Btw guys there is something up in my college. I heard ppl sayin a big hunt started. Don't know what that meant but they were very excited. Apparently, the prey is one of a kind ! >
< Abeautifulwomen : Funny. Do you think they hunt human ? >
< TheSavior : I'm sure they're talkin abut a treasure hunt or smthg. We shuld play. >
< Imagenius : Nah Sav it was about a real person. They want him but idk why. Maybe he did something wrong. Beauty yu didnt hear anythg from your boss friend ? >
< Abeautifulwomen : He doesnt control every college in the country duh. Last time he called he was very very very very very angry :3 I got a dick pick thanks to that ! >
< Imagenius : You really are gay. >
< Abeautifulwomen : I told yu im a girl >
< TheSavior : Come play and stop the chichat. Wdc abut a fke hunt nor ur fke dick pick >
< Imagenius : Aye sir >
< Abeautifulwomen : Aye sir >
To be continued
Tadaa. Something is going on in the community, but what could it be ?! I can only tell you Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey will have a lot of work to do. Liam is in a happy bubble, but you know me, it won’t last long.
And welcome Nick. He has been a steady presence in the background since the beginning, so he earned his own pov. He’s on a group chat with two other people... Maybe you’ll be able to guess who they are ;)
#the college society#cs#Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey#Liam#Nick#weight gain#stuffing#mention of beer#A lot of food#Some strangers#What is happening ?#Chapter 4#Part 1
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It’s usually the smaller items that convey the biggest news. A few years ago Le Monde reported a study that found seven out of ten French people to be living in the region of France in which they were born. That finding surprised many people, including the reporter involved. After all, we think we live in a transitory world, yet a huge number of people still spend their entire lives close to home. Around 60% of British people live no more than 30 miles from where they resided as fourteen-year-olds. No matter which university you visit, you’ll always find a research group focusing on mobility in some form or other, usually migration. It’s very rare, however, to find a team of researchers looking at immobility, even though only 3% of the world’s population is made up of immigrants. In Western Europe and the United States, those born in another country account for around 15% of the population, on average, and although it would be wrong to dismiss the changes that migration brings, clearly most people in any given country are not migrants. This tendency to ignore the majority represents a blind spot that might almost be called a prejudice: mobility is good, immobility bad. It applies at the individual level as well as being an injunction aimed at large groups. The crossing of borders brings progress, since mixing keeps cultures alive. Who would deny that the urge to create and the exploration of boundaries go hand in hand? And yet the number of international marriages remains limited. Few people leave their homeland to go and work in a foreign country. Few Europeans have sufficient command of another language to use it to discuss profound differences of opinion. More importantly, a sense of lifelong responsibility towards others does not travel well across borders. Despite all the stories about the virtual world we inhabit, proximity continues to matter. Indeed, we rarely stop to think about it, but in everyday speech we use countless images that involve space: the political landscape, left and right, the opening up of a horizon, the path to the future, the centre ground. Terms like marketplace, battlefield, fault line and domain are more than merely specifications of place, and we sometimes describe grief as a journey, or troubled periods in our personal lives as an uphill struggle. Post-1989 claims about the “end of history” — the idea that liberal democracy would inevitably win more and more terrain – were accompanied by the notion of the “end of geography”, a sense that distances would evaporate in the global village. Neither proved well-founded; democracy no longer seems inevitably universal, and we all live in worlds that are in many respects still confined. Today it is no coincidence that the liberal paradigm is under pressure in the countries that most clearly embody it as a worldview: the United States and Britain. The British people’s decision to leave the European Union and the election of Donald Trump in that same year are often, and rightly, mentioned in the same breath. It’s precisely in countries that see themselves as the advance guard of globalisation that the call for protectionism is loudest, or at any rate louder than in continental Europe, which has always wanted to practise a more moderate form of liberalism. Populist parties have exposed social and cultural fault lines that we need to take seriously. Such movements are usually placed under the heading of “populism”, but “protectionism” would be a rather more accurate label. This causes considerable confusion, because protectionist parties are difficult to classify as either Left or Right. After all, the Rassemblement National and the FPÖ present themselves as defenders of the welfare state and oppose, for example, raising the pension age. A new fault line has therefore emerged on the political spectrum: internationalism versus protectionism. Not long after the European Parliamentary elections in 2014, I heard a former European commissioner at an international conference in Copenhagen say, “While 30% make the noise, 70% continue to make the laws.” In response I asked: how can we be so sure that the 30% will remain a minority? And would it not be a good idea to take those voters seriously? Have we not learnt that democracy must ensure minorities are represented? Doing away with internal borders without putting in place effective controls at the external border is one reason why the EU has struggled to contain populism. In a speech, the president of the European Union, Herman Van Rompuy, acknowledged this deficit: “Europe, the friend of freedom and space is seen as a threat to protection and place. We need to get the balance right. It is essential for the Union to be also on the protecting side.” The ongoing coronavirus pandemic has only sharpened the tension between the removal of borders and this need for protection. Indeed, although huge progress has been made since the Second World War in conquering infectious disease, globalisation has also created the preconditions for a rapidly spreading pandemic. In Epidemics and Society, medical historian Frank Snowden described the long history of diseases such as bubonic plague, cholera, malaria, polio and tuberculosis. All these forms of pestilence stretch back centuries, but he regards the third plague pandemic, which began in 1894 in Hong Kong, as the first truly global spread of infection. Within six years the disease reached five continents, mainly through major port cities. After decades of intense globalisation and urbanisation, our intrinsic vulnerability to infection has increased, despite better diagnosis and vaccines. “Epidemic diseases are an ineluctable part of the human condition,” Snowden writes: “and modernity, with its vast population, teeming cities, and rapid means of transport between them, guarantees that the infectious diseases that afflict one country have the potential to affect all.” As a traditional saying from the shipping industry goes, one leak is enough to capsize an ocean steamer if no bulkheads have been built in the hold. The unlimited mobility characteristic of our era has many unintended consequences: a local infection in China can translate into a worldwide outbreak in just a few months, killing millions and throwing many more out of work. These days we should be making a thorough study of chaos theory, which tells us that a butterfly flapping its wings in China can cause a hurricane in Texas. Sure enough, one damned bat from Wuhan brought the whole world to a standstill. Countries have become more and more economically interlinked. It is of course a great advantage not to have to produce everything yourself, but the outbreak of coronavirus also shows the drawbacks of such dependency. A reduction in supplies from India and China can lead to a shortage of pharmaceuticals: 80% of the drugs sold worldwide come from those two countries. Would we not do better to produce essential medicines ourselves? One immediate lesson from the coronavirus pandemic is that we need to take a critical look at global dependencies. It is not easy to navigate between a poorly understood cosmopolitanism and a new protectionism. Mobility can increase only if there are enough people who feel a bond with a place. In fluid circumstances everything dissolves — why would this not apply to freedom? The greatest challenge is to ensure that the mobility characteristic of our time can be reconciled with citizens’ rights. In this borderless world, markets and morality reinforce each other, since borders and regulations are obstacles to both commerce and human rights. Hence businesspeople and idealists speak the same borderless language, of tearing down walls but also of tearing up the social contract, too, since it also takes shape within borders. Italian novelist and cultural critic Alessandro Baricco nicely summed up this worldview when he said that, “Everything that has need of the steadfastness of immobility ultimately gets a twentieth-century stench and later a vaguely ominous sound as well.” Baricco’s conclusion was to “Boycott borders, tear down all walls, set up one open space in which everything must circulate. Demonize immobility.” We often hear people expressing concern about the borders of freedom. Here I want to lay the emphasis on the freedom of the border. We need to learn to deal with the tension between openness and protection, a tension that is part and parcel of any lively democracy. An open society cannot exist if there is no middle ground. For the average citizen, globalisation has a wide range of consequences: alongside interaction and prosperity, we see alienation and inequality. Pleas for open borders and pleas for closed borders are increasingly at odds, which does not bode well. If these fault lines become even more firmly fixed within our societies, and people feel forced to choose between two extremes, then it’s clear where most people will end up: on the side not of cosmopolitanism but of nationalism.
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250: How to Create a Beckoning Sanctuary That Reflects Your Journey
"Never decorate all at once. 'When you do it all at once, you make mistakes,' explains Fredéric Amico. Take your time trying out different pieces, and never settle." —Architectural Digest's Clever (new online destination for decor ideas, quoting French actor and artist Fredéric Amico (view his Paris loft here)
Our wardrobe, our mind, our relationships all ebb and flow, grow, migrate, wander and progress as much as we choose to let them, and our sancturaries need not be any different.
Reflect upon your childhood bedroom and the first time your parents gave you permission to decorate it as you pleased - paint color, linens and all (or maybe you took the initiative all on your own). Then graduate to your first home away from home - perhaps your dorm, perhaps an apartment. Then remember the next home and the next as your life began to unfold.
I can remember vividly during my junior year in high school wielding a paintbrush, ushering in a double bed, selecting the wallpaper for the accent wall and reveling in my very own "grown-up" sanctuary. Then college arrived, and it was with my first apartment sophomore year that furniture was needed, and much was cheap and yard sale must-have finds, but there were treasures that I brought with me from my childhood home - that black rod-iron bed, dishware found at an unexpected estate sale, pictures that held dear meaning. And then the first "adult" apartment during graduate school, living on my own - daring to paint an entire wall red and framing everything in gold. It reflected my choice at the time, and having a choice and a home that was all my own, felt liberating. Never before have I painted a wall red - it took three, at least, coats to make it as I had hoped. But I don't regret it for a moment.
Since then, the homes I have rented or owned have been unique unto themselves, but one detail always remains constant, the woman living within the four walls - me.
Even so, each home of which my paycheck has paid the monthly mortgage or rent, has gradually evolved to reflect more of what has shaped me and influenced me and inspired me to become the person I am today. And as much as we, okay, maybe this was just me, moreso especially in my earlier years of homeownership, may want our homes to come together immediately to reflect the aesthetic we desire and see in our mind's eye, our most authentic sanctuary will be a reflection of patience, of thoughtfulness and of careful selection.
Not all of us have the luxury of being able to live in a home we love for decades, and others might state that it is a luxury to be able to move frequently based on curiosity and opportunities, but either way, we can take what means the most with us to our next home. So that no matter where we go, our journey can be reflected within the four walls of our sanctuary.
Today I'd like to share with you ways that you can begin to decorate your sanctuary to not only reflect your journey which will offer comfort and confidence each time you cross the threshold, but also be welcoming to most importantly the inhabitants, but guests who are invited to visit as well.
In last Wednesday's post, I shared eight small, but unique ways to add your signature to your sanctuary, many of which, as you will discover, reflect my journey thus far over the past 40 years. And today I'd like to share less of the specific things to include and more the concepts to consider when deciding what should hang on your walls, fill your rooms and welcome you home.
1.Does it warm your heart and lift your spirits?
Ask yourself this question when deciding what pictures, paintings, souvenirs, etc. any item that doesn't perform a function, but rather only adorns a wall, tabletop or shelf, to display.
Being reminded of what you are capable of, being reminded of the love that was felt and expressed, being reminded of a dream that came true, all of these reminders are helpful and healthy to have in your home especially on those days and during those moments we need comfort and confidence.
2. What function does it provide?
Being clear about the function that an item provides - literally or figuratively (i.e. a candleholder, a vase, a settee, a bench (literal); painting, particular coffee table books, throw pillows (figurative) — clarifies in your mind why you are considering it for your home. If the reason is because it is the color of the year, or my favorite influencer has one, unless your signature for decor is trendy, perhaps find a deeper purpose for welcoming it into your home. But if instead, the reason is to provide warmth, to lift my spirits, to hold my favorite bunch of flowers and fit perfectly on that particular tabletop, then by all means, welcome it into your home.
"Have nothing in your home that you don't know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."—William Morris
With points #1 & #2, it may appear that I am simply further describing what William Morris has taught decorators for years, and if your interpretation of the quote is similar to mine, then you are in good company, but for me, it goes deeper. What does beautiful mean?
Beautiful must go deeper, beauty can only be present if it fits the two criteria above in a more visceral part of our well-being. There are many items that are beautiful - from traditional to modern designs, art that speaks volumes from contemporary to acclaimed icons, but if it doesn't mean something to you, if it doesn't have a story as to why it spoke to you, then let someone else welcome it into their home.
I am continually editing my home, just as I am my closet, and with more evaluation, comes more removal of items that were bought at the spur of the moment, out of preceived need. Gradually, those items, if they don't possess both of the criteria above, are replaced by items that do, and the home's decor begins to feel more symphonic.
Speaking of symphonies, there is more criteria to consider when bringing it all together in your home.
3. Cost per true value
Similar to cost per wear, but slightly different, cost per true value is how much it costs to acquire the item while taking into account the value it will add to the overall quality of life over the amount of years you expect to own the item.
In other words, the antique dining table that costs $1000 and would fit perfectly in your dining room. No more need for separate tables, more dinner parties, more opportunity to share your passion for cooking and your partner's passion for convivial conversation about the guests' favorite topics. Many would way this is priceless and others would say you can do the same thing around two nondescript tables pulled together, but this is where the decision will be different for each person: What do you want to invest in? What is it that brings you and those you love great enjoyment and peace of mind?
Some of the items we bring into our homes will be treasure finds for pennies of what they are actually worth, or maybe not worth anything at all to anyone else, but priceless in our eyes. Whatever you choose to invest in monetarily, simply remember to ask the "cost per true value" question and answer it for yourself. No one else's opinion (unless they are paying for it or a partner in the household) should matter.
4. Consider the decor that spoke to you on your travels
So many of TSLL readers/listeners of the podcast are travelers to all sorts of amazing places, large and small, far and near on the globe. Often it isn't until we see, and then sometimes live with temporarily through staying in vacation rentals, a particular decor idea that we realize how excellent of an idea it is or how much it makes us feel at home even when we are far way.
As I shared in my post last Wednesday, one decor idea I would have never known about or considered was to use linen tablecloths as curtains. Perfect! And with my love of linen as it reminds me of France and my travels to the south and north of the country, the curtains I now have in my home not only serve a much needed function, but they also bring back fond memories.
5. Does it tell a story that you want to welcome into your home?
I have an antique English draw-leaf table that was the first dining room table I ever owned (you can see a bit of it in the above image on the far right). I purchased it in college after saving up $400 for it and have had it with me ever since (here is a similar one from One King's Lane). No matter what size my home, I have always made a spot for it. Currently, it holds my record player which suits it perfectly as it brings the music and the news into my home.
As well, a chair from an individual who you knew or have known and simply remembering who they are makes you smile when you look at the piece furniture even if there are a few tears in the upholstery is a keeper.
Not everything in our homes will have long stories that will make your heart smile, but gradually, once we have what we need to live sufficiently, we can be thoughtful and careful about what we wish to bring into our sanctuaries. Often it actually becomes easier because we know precisely what is not only needed but also what would be cherished.
6. Include custom art or upholstered items with beloved fabrics from your travels or the past
Whether you are a painter or someone has painted or illustrated something for you, framing it gives you an original piece of art. Playful or serious, seasoned artists or first-timers, the art we display can share a glimpse of your story to those you invite into your home as well as remind you of what you care most about.
As well, choosing to upholster old furniture, or cover pillow or make blankets with fabrics found like traveling or found like going through your family's attic are unique and signature ways of adding a decor idea that can't be purchased in a retail store.
Transforming a house or an apartment into a home is a creative journey and revelation of our truest selves in many ways if we want it to be. Recognizing the power of communication and comfort and confidence that can transpire simply with the decor choices we make is a tool we can put in our toolbox to improve the quality of our lives. It is a process that requires patience, but one day when you least expect it or aren't looking for it or trying to achieve it, you will find yourself sitting in that one particular spot in your home, passing the time doing something you love either on your own or with someone you love and you will feel the most at home you have ever felt. Such a feeling is not because your home is complete (it never will be), it is because you have curated a space that enables you to relax, recharge, share yourself without saying too much or saying just the right amount in each room of the home and knowing you did what you could with what you had.
It is my hope that you experience such moments often no matter where you are along your journey. Because, if my experience has taught me anything in each of the homes I have inhabited, it is possible and it only gets better with each step forward along the journey.
~SIMILAR POSTS YOU MIGHT ENJOY:
~21 Parisian Decor Ideas from Ines de la Fressange's New Decor Book, episode #228
~22 Tips for Creating a Grown-Up's Living Space
~How to Create Surroundings for Everyday Contentment, episode #219
Petit Plaisir:
~Mary Berry's Country House Secrets, four episodes on BritBox
~learn about each episode here
https://youtu.be/Zvgvxal-udg
~Image: an everyday moment captured in my living room, complete with a dog toy left on the floor - learn more about the photo in this post.
Tune in to the latest episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast
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Is Virtual Teambuilding Effective?
Skilled workers going remote are now at 50% and counting. I wonder why. Groceries are considered safe when they give off a mild antibacterial fragrance. Facemasks are an accessory without which fashion is no longer haute couture.
Countless Zoom chats later, your average line manager frantically searches for a realistic set of virtual team building activities in the hopes of keeping his or her team responsive at the upcoming conference call. Remote is the hipp new norm. A recent survey by Deloitte seems to suggest so.
The shift from downtown real estate to a mix of virtual TelCo infrastructure is already here. Facebook and Twitter made news announcing permanent work from home plans, but if you ask me, the real headlines belong to giants like Nationwide Insurance. Based out of Ohio with close to 100 years in business, their brand image isn’t synonymous with disruption or any other fancy silicon valley jargon.
Server bandwidth vs. a monthly lease reduction isn’t the only advantage either. While board members and executives pioneer decisions across real estate or infrastructure, line managers are the ones left picking up the tab on the hidden costs of the new remote wave.
Tasked with building virtual teams from scratch they are often forced to do so with no prior experience. All the while watching their quarterly targets grow ever more ambitious and keeping performance KPIs in check.
Despite understandable ambivalence after putting together, in many cases their very first, remote team in just under nine weeks of time, 44% of middle management personnel label their direct reports to be more productive; to the utter delight of the board and the executive team, it seems.
“Companies shifted almost their entire office workforce to remote work as the virus spread in the US, and 73% percent of executives say it was a success.”
Have we, unknowingly so, stumbled upon something extraordinary? According to NPR’s recent interview with Kate Lister, who is the president of a workplace consulting firm that measures and champions remote work —yes, we have.
“The biggest holdback against remote work for the past 20 years has been middle managers who didn’t trust their employees to do it…and the biggest difference between managers who support it and those who don’t is those who have done it.”
Can My Team Walk Out on Me?
The flip side of the coin on these positive numbers is efficiency. 29% remain ambivalent about being on a remote team. They are less sure about being productive. For Lister, reporting structure and organizational procedures are a critical part of remote employee productivity.
“One of the top reasons for high employee turnover in remote workers is the lack of understanding in managers on how to properly set up a remote team…especially when they do so for the first time”.
In other words, it’s one thing to surrender a lease on your office space and download Zoom — but building out effective processes that both deliver results and keep your team from churning, is not so simple to do without prior experience.
Doing anything for the first time is bound to come with a learning curve. According to an estimate from SpotMe, a company whose business of building event apps has been transformed by the pandemic: “66% of event and meeting planners have never hosted a virtual webinar”. If you ever hosted one, think of how productive it was on the first attempt and how many of the attendees were ecstatic at the prospect of a second round.
And if you are not thinking about employee churn rate, reasoning that the current economic climate should act as a deterrent from changing jobs, think again. I am not only referring to traditionally introverted IT units who are well paid and in many cases have an existing culture of remote work.
I mean divisions like marketing, sales, or customer service who are always in demand and have now spent an unprecedented amount of time working from home. Can you really be sure that in between conference calls they aren’t looking for what else is out there?
And if joining a potential competitor just isn’t something you have envisioned for most members of your organization, what about the spirit of entrepreneurship? How many countless hours of life coaching ads should your average marketing manager or customer service representative watch before they decide to start some sort of a side gig on YouTube?
France 24, for example, recently ran a segment on the state of affairs for french startups & entrepreneurs that register them. The government channel reported the number of new business registrations to be at their historic high when compared, seasonality wise, to any other fiscal year on record. Blomberg backs up the state media channel by data from Insee.
(Source)
A spokesperson from Cloutboost, a marketing agency that consults its clients on how to find gaming Youtubers, backs up the conclusion that these numbers are driving at. “We have seen a 25% increase of new talent joining our network throughout the lockdown period.
The growth hasn’t stopped since and we are confident that these numbers will continue to increase in the coming months.” This makes sense because those sales, marketing, and customer service reps thinking of going off to start their own business are more than likely college grads, often armed with a Masters’s degree and enough disposable income to invest into their next, perhaps small, yet still entrepreneurial venture.
And if their savings aren’t enough, various stimulus packages and furlough schemes are there to help.
The Brave New World
Whatever your position on churn, employee turnover can be a risky metric to neglect. Companies with headcounts of 150+ full-time employees rely on HR to mitigate this risk. Large multinationals traditionally rely on HRBP’s (Human Resources Business Partner) to be the stewards of employee experience
Dave Ulrick attributes the mitigation of this risk to what has colloquially become known as a culture workplace process. If this sounds abstract, don’t worry, it is.
Seemingly quoted by every authority on the topic of HR, Dave’s work boils down to what we’ve all known to be true yet lacked the vocabulary to say out loud. Human Relations and departments designated to deal with them have been rapidly evolving for quite some time. Responsibilities of HR in the early ’90s differ from those today.
Classic HR functions are out the window. Perks, bonus structures, off-site retreats, and quarterly happiness surveys have long been the new norm. I recently consulted for a startup that invested in an unknown French HR management software.
Their HR department – a brave army of one executive assistant tasked with recruitment, client billing, and facilities management – needed support when the team expanded beyond 15 full-time employees. The first message displayed in everyone’s inbox once the software went online – rate your happiness on a scale 1 – 5.
My point is that a day spent without a reminder of the important role that people culture plays in an organization’s efficiency, is a day spent under a rock. And I’ll be the first in line to admit that my worst day in 2020 beats anyone’s best day in an era when recruitment specialists advised against wearing short sleeve shirts to an interview or urged applicants to disclose their height, weight, and whether or not they own a home.
The fact that HR is preoccupied with making sure that the office cafeteria is stacked with ingredients for soybean frappuccino lattes is nothing less than a dream come true.
To the best of my knowledge, the fact that a company is not considered progressive unless someone on their LinkedIn is titled Happiness Manager does resonate with the young, millennial, creative workforce they aim to attract. It certainly resonates with me.
Whether or not this trend is financially sustainable to maintain for small startups in a market for cheap HR management software is a separate topic entirely. But the likes of Google or Facebook don’t get a choice as superb office spaces and friendly HR staff have become nothing short of the industry standard.
Lines separating facilities and recruitment should be blurry. Because the fog tends to make future tendencies all the more pronounced. Through personal interviews of over 400 HRBP’s Gartner predicts 4 main trends that the role of an HRBP will entail between now and 2025. Trend #2: HRBPs become stewards of the employee experience
“HR functions will shift from expanding support for what employees need at work to expanding support for what employees experience at work. This shift will require HRBPs to identify the experiences employees value most and help eliminate the work that’s least valuable to employees.”
June 2019, Gartner
What should then HR do in the age of public quarantine and social distancing? Keeping a team happy and motivated when public venues are open is hard enough. Keeping them happy and motivated through a living room crawling with kids or a distant coworking facility is even harder. Add to that the stress of indoor confinement and you got yourself something I would call an HRBP dilemma.
Is Teambuilding Effective?
Well, this will have to depend on which camp you are in. Beating the drum of proverbial ivy leaguers, team building is an essential component of success. Especially in trying times of confinement and social distancing. Corporate culture is the DNA that codes how your employees will perform.
“At Mars, we learned that to get people to work together, we had to let them figure out how that would actually improve results.”
HBR, Sep 2018
In marketing, we have a funny metric called Return On Ad $ Spend (ROAS). The amount of revenue earned by a business for each dollar it spends on advertising. Market, industry, or channel type aren’t really relevant. What is relevant is the bottom line. Especially when it comes to human resources in the digital age.
But this should not come as a surprise. MIT’s Human Dynamics Lab proved the notion of ROAS in HR as far back as 2012 with Professor Sandy Pantland and his collarbone sensor experiments with Bank of America.
In collaboration with Sociometric Solutions, Pantland’s lab put the strength of team building to the test by analyzing behavioral patterns of call center employees across 30+ multinational corporations. Measured through an indicator referred to as “account handling time” (ACH), Pantland was able to empirically prove the effects of team building on an organization’s bottom line.
Even then the hypothesis that increasing employee break time will increase annual turnover sounded seductive. Who would think that enabling customer service reps to mingle by the water cooler will have an indirect impact on an organization’s cash flow?
Well, Pantland’s hypothesis was correct and the implementation of his techniques boosted ACH by 8%. And when MIT checked in a year later, their pilot got implemented across 25,000 call center units worldwide. Forecasting to yield $15M in RAOS by year-end.
There will always be someone to argue that revenue is a poor metric for gaging emotions. After all, what else is a happiness manager supposed to manage if not employee emotions? I can relate to this argument and direct its proponents to Pantland’s earlier 2007 collaboration.
Together with the Center for Collective Intelligence, they take on a German bank. One would think: what could be more disciplined? The marketing department is divided up into multiple groups across separate rooms and floors. Germans aim to measure how this layout affects work satisfaction. Armed with prototypes of location-based sensors Pantland and his team go to work.
Sensors hang on the collarbone, tracking which way a participant faces when talking. Over 2,000 hours of data on everything short of the actual conversation are recorded over a 30 day period. Voice patterns, speed of speech delivery, agitation, flirtation, anxiety – you name it. Needless to say, results underscore the social nature of human beings. On average, respondents who report more frequent interactions are happier.
Interaction in the Era of Virtual Teams
So if interaction with one another is the foundation that forms a happy team, and at its core happiness equals RAOS, then the HRBP dilemma is solved. Make sure the team is engaged; the more the merrier, and ideally several times a day. And therein lies the answer to making them perform.
Although before tackling how it may be prudent to, at least briefly, take a crack as to the why. After all, we are only in our 5th month of confinement. Meaning that your average line manager may not have yet learned all that he or she should – at least as far as remote work is concerned.
According to Melanie Pinola at Zapier – unplugging is the culprit. The top 3 challenges of a remote employee in 2020 relate to overworking. And again this isn’t quite in with the new but rather out with the old – the same old data going as far back as 2019 before the world had gone remote.
22% out of 2,471 respondents report not being able to distance themselves from their work. Poor work-life balance, depression, and ultimately decreased productivity are factors to blame. In an age of multinationals whose most valuable assets are employees – not listening to this is just bad math. Employee productivity will take a nosedive without proper motivation. And if that nosedive isn’t properly addressed turnover spikes may inevitably follow.
Virtual Teambuilding Costs (How Much?)
13 years since the German bank, team building has been proclaimed to be a measurable component of the bottom line. Recent polls point to people having real issues connecting while being remote. It’s safe to assume that by not practicing remote team building – you may be looking at a hit on your balance sheet.
How much exactly this hit may cost depends on obvious factors: the size of the workforce that is remote, the time zones between which it’s dispersed, the role that it plays in your organization, and a range of other things that go beyond the scope of a single article on this topic.
The good news is that the manual on how to avoid incurring these potential costs is ubiquitous. From IBM all the way to a mom and pop operation, if you’ve got wifi – you are in.
All that you, your HRBP, or your line managers have to be willing to do is put in the time. A few hours of dedicated planning will always lift team spirits. Choose among hundreds of fun and engaging activities enabling your team to bond over zoom. Games, quizzes, bucket list challenges – you name it. Whatever you choose, invest yourself in making this special for your teammates.
The entire sectors of our economy are shutting down. How bad can a few incremental gains through a fun video session with your teammates really be?
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Independent Repair Shops Aren’t As Risky As People Think
As the Right to Repair movement reaches an all-time fever pitch, tech manufacturers are focusing on one big lie in order to halt our progress: That you can’t trust independent repair shops, only the manufacturers themselves. This argument is a pile of manure.
Corporate lobbyists paint a bleak picture of third-party shops, arguing that these places use low-quality parts, install them improperly, and grift their customers. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, most independent repair shops are no different than your friendly, local auto mechanic whom you recommend to your friends and family any chance you get. And many of them are fully capable of performing the same repairs that manufacturers do—plus some repairs the manufacturers won’t do.
Independent Shops Are Often as Good as the Manufacturers—If Not Better
Manufacturers constantly tell us that those who are properly trained and authorized by said manufacturers are the only ones who should be repairing our devices. But more often than not, independent repair shops are just as “properly trained” as anyone to fix your broken stuff.
Many independent repair technicians have gone through the same training and certification processes that manufacturers require out of their own technicians. It’s also not uncommon for independent repair shops to have former technicians from big manufacturers on staff, especially from companies like Apple, HP, Microsoft, and others. We even have our own MasterTech certification that independent repair technicians can earn to prove their proficiency.
What’s more, many common repairs don’t require extensive expertise. You don’t need years and years of training to replace a smartphone battery or a cracked screen. In fact, we constantly receive success stories from folks all over the world who have fixed their own device without any former training or knowledge. Obviously, you want your professional repair technician to be competent, but we’re just saying you don’t need a master’s degree in engineering and a handful of certifications to be good at fixing stuff.
Image by Ben Hannam/iFixit
Gabriel, who has been in the industry since 2002 and is currently the Operations Manager at The Computer Cellar in Durham, NC, can attest to this. “We’ve met teenagers that have walked into the shop and started discussing computers and technology with us and we’ve said to each other, ‘that kid could do our job,’” he says.
This is true even of those more complex repairs the manufacturers won’t tackle. “One of our ex-techs joined us at 19 with only hobbyist experience,” Gabriel says. “When he left, he was teaching himself board-level repairs. He’s now, at 22, pulling a better salary than me, plus some stellar benefits, working for a university.”
“Board-level” repairs involve fixing the circuit board itself by replacing individual components, instead of replacing the entire expensive circuit board. These advanced repairs require microsoldering skills, specialized equipment, and a very steady hand.
So what about those repair parts that manufacturers keep harping on? Well, your local shop has a reputation to uphold. It’s in their interest to use a reliable part that meets your high expectations. While it can be difficult (or impossible) to source genuine OEM parts (most cell phone manufacturers, with the notable exception of Motorola, don’t sell their parts to anyone), it’s not too difficult to find aftermarket components that come from the same suppliers that manufacturers use.
“As surprising at it seems, you can buy an original Apple LCD,” says Alexandre Isaac of Phone Repair Toulouse in France. “You need the right contact in China. They usually buy it directly from the factory, as Apple can’t really control perfectly these millions of screens, so Foxconn still sells a few on the side.”
Furthermore, a lot of shops will harvest the good parts out of other broken devices in order to get that coveted OEM logo. “When appropriately refurbished with good tools, these are great and are the best solution,” says Isaac.
In fact, we know that a lot of repair shops use high-quality parts, because in some cases, we’re the ones that supply those parts! Through our iFixit Pro wholesale parts program, we partner with independent repair shops and offer our parts, tools, and support so that those repair shops can offer their customers a great experience. All of our parts are sourced from reputable, trustworthy suppliers, and we do extensive in-house testing on everything to make sure it’s up to snuff.
Independent Shops Can Perform Repairs That Some Manufacturers Won’t
Most manufacturers focus their repair training on the most frequent repairs. Apple, for example, won’t replace lightning ports in their stores—getting this service requires shipping your device to a dedicated Apple service center. It’s not uncommon for manufacturers to turn away repair jobs, either because it’s not worth their time and effort, or because they don’t have the proper tools and expertise to do the repair. Independent repair shops, however, are much more willing to do these more challenging jobs.
Isaac can attest to this, explaining that manufacturer technicians “are usually ‘good repairmen,’ but they don’t have the level that people repairing boards have, and will never have unless they train. So the Genius from Apple is even worse. He only knows how to use software that says a few things about the phone.”
Josephine and Dave Billard’s experience with their water-damaged iPhone is a great example. Here’s the short version: the couple wanted their photos recovered from an unresponsive iPhone, but Apple said they couldn’t help. They were able to find an independent repair shop (iPad Rehab near Rochester, NY) that could perform more complex board-level repairs, getting the phone up and running just long enough to back up the photos. Apple doesn’t have the necessary tools for jobs like this, so without this independent repair shop, Josephine and Dave would’ve lost their vacation photos forever.
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We could spend all day sharing stories of manufacturers’ inability to perform repairs. Odds are you’ve run into this yourself! My own father-in-law, for example, experienced an unresponsive screen one random day with his 5th-generation iPod Touch. Apple said they couldn’t fix it, so he ended up just buying a new iPod Touch. This kind of repair is definitely possible, and a whole new screen assembly is just $40. A local repair shop could perform this repair for much less than the cost of a new iPod Touch.
Is There Any Risk Involved with Independent Repair Shops?
No matter what the situation is, there’s always going to be some risk involved during a repair, whether it’s a phone, car, refrigerator, or toaster. But for the most part, that risk is pretty low.
For starters, taking your broken device to an independent repair shop won’t void the device’s warranty with the manufacturer. Contrary to popular belief, it’s actually illegal for a company to void your warranty just because it was opened up and repaired by you or someone else. So don’t worry: Those warranty-voiding stickers are completely unenforceable and should be ignored.
Secondly, going to a reputable and trustworthy independent repair shop is perhaps no riskier than bringing the device to the manufacturer itself. Again, many shops are highly trained and use high-quality parts in their repairs. Plus, any good shop worth its salt will offer their own warranty on both the repair and the parts.
Of course, there are absolutely some shady repair shops out there, just like how there are shady mechanics (and dentists, surprisingly) who will try to rip you off. And there are also repair shops who may mean well, but are out of their skill level with certain repairs. Which is why you should take some time to find a reputable repair shop.
How to Find a Trustworthy Independent Repair Shop
Before you take your device into an independent repair shop, you first have to find a trustworthy and reputable shop to handle your repair, which is perhaps the most difficult part of the process.
Image by Steve Song/Flickr
It’s no different than finding a good, reputable auto mechanic. Ask for recommendations from friends and family who have patronised independent repair shops in the past—this is probably the best way to find a good shop that can service your broken device, as those who have gone through the same thing as you’re about to go through can provide valuable insight into a shop’s trustworthiness and level of customer service. We have found that pros who contribute to iFixit tend to run pretty fantastic businesses, and we have a directory of them.
You can also scour review sites like Yelp, or look at ratings and reviews on Facebook and Google. Even though online reviews can be gamed, they’re generally a decent indicator of whether a repair shop is terrible or not.
Once you narrow your choices down to a couple of shops, don’t be afraid to ask questions about their credentials and the quality of their parts. And especially ask them how much experience they have repairing your specific device.
Word of mouth is a powerful thing. And asking the right questions can give you a good idea whether or not a certain repair shop is a good fit.
Title image by TFix
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I want YOU to take Responsibility for our European Future
I know that you have noticed it. I know that that you know. I know that even if you tell yourself that it is a good thing, you know that our countries are changing in fundamental ways.
I believe that the results of these changes will be irreversible. I believe that unless we act, the future is bloody, dark, and will turn men into monsters. Why do I believe this? Well, that depends on you. A lot depends on the answers you have in your heart to the questions I am asking.
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"I wanted to change them, but it's them who have changed me, making me in their own image. The Future used to just be a continuation of the present; with all the changes looming far beyond the horizon. Now the Future and Present are One. Are they ready for it?" ~ Pisatel, Stalker. (1979)
In a few short decades, European people will begin to become ethnic minorities in their homelands. This process will be the end of White Europeans as a race. There are many among us who think this is fine, that when people live in a particular place they become citizens of that place with all the values and beliefs that entails. This is a lie. This is a lie that our leaders have told us for years because their failing economic system demands constant cheap labor to sustain itself. This is a lie that has been perpetuated in our schools, universities, newspapers, television and online. There is no escape from the lie of multiculturalism, though no-one can say what it is truly for, or why we will be better off becoming an ethnic minority.
Friends! Muggings! Stabbings! Acid attacks! Assaults! FGM! Murders! Terrorism! All created by Tory Austerity! But, of course, as Our Sadiq says, all these things - which, in any case, are all Far-Right LIES spread by Trump - are just 'part and parcel of living in a big city.' pic.twitter.com/CKLQaAjWJ9
— Sir Leftski Clifton-Edge (@SupportOurLefty) March 22, 2018
Some say being The Great Replacement is a just reward for colonialism. Some say White people are all racist. Some say that non-Whites can never be racist. Some say that Whiteness is toxic and that equality means group-interest for everyone except Whites. Some say that it is a privilege to be White. I disagree.
"I was born an activist. Silence is Violence. If you are silent, you are, in your way, being violent. You are contributing to that violence as it's happening," Alicia Keys
The fundamental problem we face as communities, cultures, and nations of broadly European natures- that is all anglophone nations, all European nations- is that we do not recognize ourselves in the mirror. Like a dog, we look in the mirror and do not recognize ourselves. We do not consider race as part of our make-up. We think we are French, Italian, Danish, American, English, Scottish, Welsh, Irish, German. But I ask you- What are those names? What are they based upon? What do they mean? Is it really just a document given to you by the government, when we know there are distinct cultures that are produced by distinct ethnic European groups?
In a way, the Leftists are accurate in their belief that there is something racist about not seeing race. While you might tell yourselves that treating others without consideration for race is treating others fairly, in fact, what you are doing is denying the truth that people of other races recognize as easily as breathing.
A lot more than you sweetie. And where are their parents? Drunk? In a gutter? In prison? Down the pub? Get real
— Mike Graham 🍾 (@Iromg) March 21, 2018
Everyone knows you are a White person. Non-White people definitely treat you as a White person. It is you alone who denies your identity.
So, what does that mean, to have a White identity? On the surface, nothing much changes. Your life will continue as it always has. You will not turn into a racist- I promise! It is a little thing that should in no way affect how you treat your fellow man, in fact- the very idea that recognizing the differences between humans makes one a supremacist is insulting to all humans. If the political left is to be believed, the same civilization that ended slavery and went to the moon will crumble to dust if Europeans acknowledge that people from different cultures behave in noticeably different ways. Europeans, as has been proven in many nations over the last seventy years, are a highly tolerant and welcoming people. Can any other people claim the same exalted heights of equality among mankind?
As an immigrant growing up on a SE London council estate going to a grammar school - I joined the only party with the vision to help someone like me get on in life - @Conservatives Sorry to disappoint you pal but this immigrant is not going to fit in to your Leftist tick box... pic.twitter.com/Him1LpBnsN
— Amandeep SinghBhogal (@AmandeepBhogal) March 21, 2018
Despite our attempts to create a purely civic society, race comes into play with great force when you think in demographic terms on a civilizational scale. this may be hard for you to imagine after decades of individualistic operant conditioning. You can feel it when I ask you these questions, the resistance in your mind to looking deep within yourself. If you feel uncomfortable thinking about the answers you have, you should ask yourself- why? Does your mind race to find excuses? Rather than answer, will you instead call me names, or close this browser window in disgust? Why do you suppose that is?
Do you want a better future for your children and grandchildren than the one you had? What does that look like, in your heart? Imagine it for me. Tell me what that is. Say it aloud.
Does it look like Cologne at New Year's Eve? Does it look like Johannesburg? Does it look like Tower Hamlets? Does it look like Chicago or Detroit?
Does it look like an Islamic State?
Going after grooming gangs is too much trouble but we will arrest the fathers of the young girls being groomed for trying to save their dignity. #Priorities pic.twitter.com/At3a2l14za
— Orwell & Goode 🇨🇱 (@OrwellNGoode) March 21, 2018
In a little over a century, Germany has been defeated in war twice yet neither war destroyed all Germans.
Our children might see that reality come to pass. In a century, the United States has led the world into a new era of prosperity and may still lose it all to demographic change. In a little less than a century, Great Britain has fallen from leading the World to seeing a million of her daughters stolen, raped and impregnated by her former subjects. In a century, France has stumbled to her knees, from the land of the highest enlightenment to seeing Muslims and Communists occupying the Basilica of Saint-Denis. The House of God and tombs of kings being treated in this way may not upset you, we are a secular people these days, but this is the least of the problems France faces today. The few places on Earth where mankind can truly express themselves freely are becoming censorious police states, run by crooks who look at the issues brought about by immigration and decide they are problems with which the next generation must contend, not ours. Not right now.
You may think online you are anonymous, you can create fake profiles and no-one can trace you. That’s wrong! The messages you type and send can be traced back to you. The same laws apply to online messages, images and videos. What you post now can affect you later in life.
— Police Scotland (@policescotland) March 21, 2018
"A shared hatred of the West is what conjoins the Left and Islam, their coercive and collectivist ideologies at odds with the Western philosophy of individualism." John Q. Publus
Does this look like the future you want for your children? Does this look like the present you want?
You need to take responsibility, not just for yourself and your family but for the truth. The truth is that unless Europeans become organized and educated about the very simple consequence of The Great Replacement, there will be no Europeans. There will be little of Europe left that you would recognize; outside perhaps Poland, Hungary and the Czech Republic.
You need to realize that there is no Europe without Europeans. That means that yes, it is okay to be White. Your ethnicity is just as valid as anyone else's- if we are not racists, how can it be any different? To recognize that is in the interest of yourself, your family and your country, not to mention the ethnic minorities in Western countries who benefit from the rights Europeans extend to all mankind.
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You need to recognize that people who tell you that Europeans are a unique people with the right to exist are not racists. The racist is the one who tells you that your blood is evil, that you are a colonizer, that your existence is a cancer that is oppressing other races. Recognize it. Recognize that without you, there is no Europe. There is no America. There is nothing.
"The worst evil is not to commit crimes, but to fail to do the good one might have done." - Léon Bloy
Is it okay for Japanese people to have their own country? Is it okay for the Maoris to live in New Zealand? Is it okay for people to live in peace among their own kind? If it is okay for Africa to be Black- well, I think you see where I am going. If we can agree that there are rights to land that are contingent on ethnicity -this is after all what so much of the talk about decolonization is about- then Europeans must also have this right to self determination.
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Do you want European people to continue to have countries of their own, or not?
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Can you in good conscience answer this question with "No"? I hope not. I hope you are more honest with yourself than I was for most of my life. Yes my friend, I was a leftist myself for something like twenty years. I denied it all, as you deny it today. I was hooked on the religion of progressive politics and denied reality too, secure in the knowledge that my atheistic reality would not change as the world changed around me.
This Nation has already changed drastically. But unless you make a conscious decision to stand up & say ENOUGH, then it will change beyond all recognition. Demographically, Culturally, We will cease to exist. Make you or ancestors proud & your descendants humble.
— Scott Anthony 🇬🇧 (@Politikking) March 22, 2018
If you do want to leave something after you die; if our lives have any meaning at all, if our culture has any greatness left- it is time to talk. Talk to your family and friends about these questions. Find your answers. There are some things that will not go away, even if you wish it with all your heart.
The fight for the future has already begun.
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When a red state gets the blues
U.S. Coast Guard forces survey flooding and search for victims of Hurricane Harvey. (Brandon Giles/Agence France-Presse via Getty Images)
By
Garrison Keillor
September 5 at 1:22 PM
The Republic of Texas believes in self-reliance and is suspicious of Washington sticking its big nose in your business. “Government is not the answer. You are not doing anyone a favor by creating dependency, destroying individual responsibility.” So said Sen. Ted Cruz (R), though not last week. Sunday on Fox News, Gov. Greg Abbott (R) said Texas would need upward of $150 billion in federal aid for damage inflicted by Harvey. The stories out of Houston have all been about neighborliness and helping hands and people donating to relief funds, but you don’t raise $150 billion by holding bake sales. This is almost as much as the annual budget of the U.S. Army. I’m just saying.
I’m all in favor of pouring money into Texas, but I am a bleeding-heart liberal who favors single-payer health care. How is being struck by a hurricane so different from being hit by cancer? I’m only asking.
Play Video 4:35Top Houston chefs band together to feed thousands of hurricane victims
Houstonians chose to settle on a swampy flood plain barely 50 feetabove sea level. The risks of doing so are fairly clear. If you chose to live in a tree and the branch your hammock was attached to fell down, you wouldn’t ask for a government subsidy to hang your hammock in a different tree.
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President Ronald Reagan said that government isn’t the answer, it is the problem, and conservatives have found that line very resonant over the years. In Cruz’s run for president last year, he called for the abolition of the Internal Revenue Service. He did not mention this last week. It would be hard to raise an extra $150 billion without the progressive income tax unless you could persuade Mexico to foot the bill.
Similarly, if a desert state such as Arizona expects the feds to solve its water shortage, as Sen. Jeff Flake (R) suggested recently, by guaranteeing Arizona first dibs on Lake Mead, this strikes me as a departure from conservative principles. Lake Mead, and Boulder Dam, which created it, were not built by Lake Mead Inc., but by the federal government. The residents of Phoenix decided freely to settle in an arid valley, and they have used federal water supplies to keep their lawns green. Why should we Minnesotans, who chose to live near water, subsidize golf courses on the desert? You like sunshine? Fine. Take responsibility for your decision and work out a deal with Perrier to keep yourselves hydrated.
Arizona is populated by folks who dread winter and hate having to shovel snow. In Minnesota, we recognize that snow is a form of water and that it’s snowmelt that replenishes the aquifers. So we make a rational decision to live here. A warm, dry winter is a sort of disaster for us, but we don’t apply to Washington for hankies. If we made a decision to live underwater on a coral reef off Hawaii, we wouldn’t expect the feds to provide us with Aqua-Lungs. If we chose to fly to the moon and play among the stars and spend spring on Jupiter and Mars and we got lost out there, we wouldn’t expect NASA to come rescue us. Get my drift here?
I was brought up by fundamentalists who believed it was dead wrong to get tangled up in politics. They never voted. Our preachers had no time for that. They knew that we were pilgrims and wayfarers in this world and that we shouldn’t expect favors from the powerful. We were redeemed by unfathomable grace and preserved by God’s mercy, and our citizenship was in heaven. We looked to the Lord to supply our needs.
This has changed, and godly Republicans now believe in the power of the government to change the world in their favor, of the Education Department to channel public money freely to religious schools, of the Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade and prohibit Joshua from marrying Jehoshaphat.
Conservatives blanch at spending additional billions to subsidize health care for the needy, but a truckload of cash for Texas? No problem. It makes me think we Minnesotans should get a few billion in federal aid for recovery from the upcoming winter. It is going to be cold. This will cause damage to homes. Drive-in movie theaters and golf courses and marinas will suffer loss of revenue. We must salt the highways to prevent accidents, and the salt corrodes our cars. And then there is the mental anguish.
Play Video 3:12Texans start do-it-yourself rescue effort in the wake of Hurricane Harvey
Keri Henry helped start an unprecedented do-it-yourself relief effort in Texas, harnessing social media to connect boat-owners with victims of Hurricane Harvey stuck in flooded homes. (Video: Erin Patrick O'Connor, Elyse Samuels, Nicole Ellis/Photo: John Taggart/The Washington Post)
If Minnesota gets billions of dollars for winter recovery, then I am going to seriously consider becoming a conservative. As a philosophy of governing, conservatism is rather sketchy, but if it helps Minnesota, I am all in favor. I have my principles, but I can be bought, same as the rest of you.
Garrison Keillor is an author and radio personality.
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Sarah Andelman knows what’s going down. Although Instagram is a diluted and expertly controlled view of how a person experiences the world, scrolling through the account of Colette’s founder makes it evident that the shop is much more than just a place to buy products – it’s got a holistic and inherently personal approach. There are pictures of intimate dinners, dolphin watching with the Colette sailing club, jazz nights with her son, flashes from fashion weeks, handfuls of flower bouquets – snapshots are collected from all over the world, illustrating Andelman’s well-defined taste; documenting as well as forecasting what’s happening on 213 Rue Saint Honoré. Perhaps it is fair to say that the department store, which houses around 20,000 products at any given time – from candy to Vertu phones to €30k dresses – is somewhat of a cultural movement.
Even as the Parisian landmark is nearing its 20th anniversary, Andelman still makes all the buying decisions herself, trusting hardly anything external from her gut feeling. It may seem like a big task to keep the perpetual innovation going, especially in a time where questions about ‘disrupting the seasons’ or ‘see now buy now’ strategies continuously pop up on the news feeds of emerging talent. But she keeps going, unfazed and in a laidback demeanour. Royal College of Art graduate Tugcan Dokmen, who did her BA in Fashion Print at Central Saint Martins, sat down with Andelman to find out if there’s any magic formula for a young designer to ‘make it’ and charm all fashion buyers.What makes a young designer stand out for you? Is it about how well a graduate collection is being received? Oh, it doesn’t matter how and when you get the attention. The start can be your graduate collection, or it can be your first collection when you are forty years old. I think what’s important is to bring something that we haven’t seen yet. Something very special, made of very good quality, with a message that makes you noticeable and desirable.And to keep the interest fresh, designers shouldn’t repeat themselves and keep surprising. Yes, it is very important.“ADD SOMETHING THAT IS NOT EXPECTED. IF YOU CAN PROVE THAT YOU HAVE TALENT FOR SOMETHING ELSE, IT IS EVEN BETTER FOR YOU.”But in the first couple seasons, don’t you think that it is okay for young designers to repeat some elements? Maybe key techniques, fabrics, patterns or concepts?Yes, it is necessary to find out what you are comfortable with. But especially when you are young and you have time and energy, I think it is important to be courageous and push yourself outside the boundaries to surprise yourself. I do trade shows all the time, and when I see a designer and love their collection, after a while I need to see progression. Let’s say I book their key rings and after five years there is still the same stand and the same key rings – of course I won’t buy it for Colette anymore. Because it is done, and they don’t understand it themselves. How don’t they get bored with the same thing?I would still say: add something that is not expected. If you can prove that you have talent for something else, it is even better for you. It means you are very talented. And you shouldn’t be disappointed if you don’t receive any orders in your first seasons.After showing my first official collection in London, I decided to come to Paris too. And I became conscious of the difference between trade shows and private showrooms. From a buyer’s point of view, which one is more agreeable for you? There is no rule. As a buyer, I have to go to Premiere Classe, for example. I think starting with big trade shows like this is not a bad thing for a young designer. It is actually good, because so many visitors go there: buyers, maybe some owners of showrooms and press. We have a very busy schedule and it is easier for us as buyers that lots of designers are all in the same place. So we have to go there. It is true that it can be frustrating for designers to be in the same place, with everybody in a square meter, having the same light and walls as everyone else, and you cannot express a lot apart from your products. I do lots of showrooms too, but not all of them, so it depends. There used to be some designers who were together in one showroom, in an apartment in the 18th or 19th arrondissement, but even if I want to go there, I cannot. I won’t have enough time.Today, some designers can have success just by themselves with social media, with the Internet. You can be independent. You can have a great website, a great Instagram, and it will give you more attention than one of these tradeshows or showrooms.“YOU NEED SOMEONE TO HELP YOU TO DO EVERYTHING AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE.”What are the main mistakes that young designers make, from the point of view of a buyer and a retailer?To not take care of early delivery, to not be in the showroom and let other people speak about your collection, to not support the retailer in any way, to not renew yourself.Is Paris the only city to set up your showroom if you want to get orders? Paris is essential, but you can also have your showroom in New York, London or Milan.How important is the social following of a new brand for you? It can be important, but not 100%. I consider everything, but the most important thing is my instinct and feeling, and the fact it can complete our current assortment.“EVERYONE COPIES YOUNG DESIGNERS BECAUSE THEY HAVE A STRONG IMAGE.”Do you think designers should have a PR at the beginning of their careers? A lot of emerging talent is quite unsure about these kinds of decisions.You are very lucky in the UK with London Fashion Week and British Fashion Council. They give so much support to young designers, and push them a lot. We don’t have the same in France.I have studied and worked in London for many years now, but I am Turkish. Even though Turkey is strong at textiles and production, there is no systematic help for designers there too. Most countries don’t see the importance of supporting young designers – the UK is special in that sense. But still, if a designer will hire one person at the beginning their career, who should that person be? You need someone that can help with everything. When you get an order, it is important to get your collection in time. It is great if you can do your lookbook in advance. Someone that can help you with press, with contacting people, production of the collection, production of the showroom. You need someone to help you to do everything as early as possible.“FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS AND WHEN IT COMES TO STYLE, DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE CURRENT STYLES.”Do you think customers right now are more interested in young designers?I think we are all a little tired of big brands which are the same everywhere and who don’t really renew themselves. Very strong brands like Vetements are being copied by companies like H&M, and they are very fast at it. Everyone copies young designers because they have a strong image.Are we in a transitional period right now, where there are no specific rules and designers can create their own path and be successful? What is interesting right now is that a lot is coming into industry just from the streets. You see something on a celebrity; it goes super fast. It is about ‘see now, buy now’. It is true that we are in a moment of transition, but I am not sure if it actually changed a lot for a young designer to establish themselves. It is not only that the system is moving, I think for a young designer starting up a brand, you still have to focus on your collection, make sure it is still relevant.In a previous interview of yours, I read that you would like to see a ‘buy button’ on Instagram. It would be great, but at the same time a bit scary. The ‘buy button’ is actually happening; there are apps where you do exactly that.Do you think the influence of social media is negative or positive? Well, you need to be careful. It is a great way to communicate. It is fantastic to be so well informed all the time. We have now been open for twenty years and I know that a dress can be on the covers of all the magazines, it can be super strong for press, but it might not always be good for sales, unfortunately. And this is what I love: making a selection which is good for both press and sales. Sometimes there are some pieces that are everywhere in the press and on social media, but they remain on the shop floor and you don’t know why. It doesn’t mean that that look is bad. You can love it, but not really want to be the person who wears it.Do you think that young designers should discount their pieces at the end of the season in the same way that big brands do, or can a different model work for them? I’m not sure if there are other solutions, I would be interested to know…“SOMETIMES THERE ARE SOME PIECES THAT ARE EVERYWHERE IN THE PRESS AND ON SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT THEY REMAIN ON THE SHOP FLOOR AND YOU DON’T KNOW WHY.”As a young designer, there are many moments where you question everything. Your style, your decisions, your timing…You shouldn’t be asking these kinds of questions to yourself. There is space for everything. There are lots of shops around the world and lots of different people. You should do what your instincts are saying. Follow your instincts and when it comes to style, don’t worry about the current styles.What is a big no for you in the work or attitude of a designer? I’m sensitive to all kinds of little things… but you have to be extremely rude to get a big no! And I know how things can turn around in many ways…Is there anything that young designers are not aware of that can really influence your work with them? Not really, I think they have to try with all their energy. Some designers I meet say: “I was afraid to contact you.” Don’t be afraid!!!How do you like to be approached by designers? Again, no rules. I like to discover them by myself of course, through the Internet, showrooms or social media or friends, but I don’t mind being contacted directly, and it happens a lot.Could it be better for new brands to show you their collections off the fashion week schedule? I can only imagine how many appointments you have during the fashion season – what would be the most ideal time for you? Any time. Anywhere. Any place.Interview Tuğcan Dökmen Illustration Eden Barrena
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ECT
(This is an old story I wrote, featuring Riley/Steampunk one of my own characters, a while back before tumblr was my main platform. I figured now I’m returning to the fandom I might repost it here. This is not her origin story but if you’re unfamiliar with my character, it’s still easy enough to follow and a nice introduction. It’s a little NSFW know. And the format is buggered cause it was moved from wattpad ahhh) Chest aching, heart pounding, vision blurring. Not So Steady Legs Pulling herself to her feet, Riley let out an agonised groan as she found her balance. Looking around, the Scot rubbed her temples as she got her bearings. After recovering from her umpteenth stumble that day, the battered woman let out a sorrowful cry; salty tears dripping down her bloodied albino skin. It was a wonder she even had to strength to pull herself together long enough to even drag herself into the hospital. - Everything from then onward was a blur to her. She barely remembered having her wounds stitched and being x-rayed so they could perform the correct operations to realign her broken bones. She supposed they had been too scared after that to rouse herself from her anaesthetic induced slumber. How long she’d been under, she didn’t know for sure. However, she did know where she was when she woke up. She’d been here before for a total of five minutes before she had blacked out from herself again for that half of the year. - “ Here at Saint Frances’ Mental Hospital for the Criminally Insane we pride ourselves in our care of wayward young lambs like yourself, Miss Blackwood, ” The voice droned into her head, causing Riley to squirm slightly as she kept her gaze to the ground. “ However, we will not tolerate another escape attempt like last time is that understood? Young lady? ” The snapping of the woman’s fingers caused her to jump in paranoia, looking around in twitchy panic. “ U-Understood, ” Riley assured her in response, wiggling slightly in her seat; tugging at the restraints keeping her bound to her chair. “ Lovely, well then, now that we have that out of the way… I am Sister Agatha, I will be watching over your progress and your therapy until such a time the Lord blesses you with your sanity again, ” The Nun told her, patting her head. “ Now, given your current mental position, our personal program is beginning with a little round of electroshock therapy, ” At the mention of this particular flavour of cure, Riley sat bolt upright in fright. “ Wait, w-what? ” The albino stuttered, receiving another pat on the head, her ginger rooted hair fluffing up even more as consequence. “ Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it, doll. Doctor O'Hara will oversee everything. He’s done this to patients hundreds times and his success rate is a thousand to one, ” Sister Agatha assured her, taking dainty steps towards the doorway as a sharply dressed man stepped inside. He was a young but mature man, dressed in long coat and formal shoes. His hair was waxed with obvious care and she was sure she could see the tinge of blusher present on his cheeks. Overall, he was a very well groomed man. Of course, the devil can be beautiful. He was once an angel, after all. “ Good evening, Sister Agatha, ” O'Hara said on passing to the Nun, who bowed her head slightly on her way out. Turning his hawklike green eyes on Riley, he flashed a grin as his hand slid over the control lever for the ECT machine. “ And you must be Riley. My, my… I’ve heard a lot about you, my girl. I must admit, I have a morbid curiosity when it comes to murder. How many victims have you claimed now, miss Blackwood? ” He asked, as he let his hand fall from the controls as he began to prepare the syringe containing the anaesthetic. “ I haven’t… I didn’t… ” Riley struggled, continuing to writhe in her chair, shaking almost. “ Your file says twenty one. Twenty one people… Mm, but I think it’s more. If you weren’t satisfied with one, what would the extra twenty matter? So give me a rough idea here, how many more bodies should we be owing credit to you for? ” O'Hara asked, as he continued to fiddle with items just out of the Scotswoman’s sight. When he didn’t receive a reply, he continued on in monologue. “ Well, no matter. I’m sure none of them could be quite as interesting as your first two. Sororicide and matricide… Not to mention the first also being infanticide. I do wonder what makes you tick. What makes people like you tick. I’ve long dreamed of the day I finally get to pull a serial killer’s head apart… Fantasied about what I’d do if I got a hold of that Jeffrey Woods fellow or one Natalie Ouellette. Of course, I never imagined I’d ever get the chance. At least not anyone interesting. I’ve picked apart murderers before but even here they’re not really anyone of importance. All the greats are still out there, causing chaos on the great turntable of life. In here, it’s all the same. None of them have any sort of method behind their madness… And then you arrived. To think, you turned yourself in. Oh, I’m dying to see all the little things you have wrong with you, ” He practically gushed. To say Riley felt sick, was an understatement. Weren’t these Shrink Doctor types supposed to help? Sure, working in a mental asylum would chip away at anyone but this guy? He was positively cracked. The mad Doctor brought up the needle to her body, delivering a pressing and acute pain to her wrist while she struggle and that was when Riley knew this had been a terrible choice. - Weeks had passed as slow as decades. Riley had lost track of what day of the week it was surprisingly fast. She received electroshock therapy from Doctor O'Hara, thrice a day just like the mushy meals they served her. Most cases only ever needed eight treatments in total and even most who had it prescribed regularly only got it three times a week. There had been some talk of lobotomy at first, when she seemed unresponsive to treatment but it soon died down after she became the role model of a good patient. She didn’t speak, she didn’t fight and she didn’t resist her medication like far too many of her ward mates were known to. At the present moment, she sat restrained and hooked up to the ECT machine. Usually, anaesthetic was applied but it seemed O'Hara had become impatient of late as he played jigsaw with her psyche. This wasn’t the first occasion however this had happened and, while she could not recall it, this was not the first time her body had been through such extreme punishment. The distortion was almost similar to Slender sickness and that soothed her, in a twisted kind of way. The pain, the memory loss, the being powerless to stop it… It was just a more controlled version of her entire adult life. She wasn’t sure if she should shriek in agony or laugh at the irony. Either way it didn’t matter, her jaw was strapped shut and the best she could do was whimper. “ Now, now… Riley, ” O'Hara said, tutting at her as he pushed the leaver of the machine down to off. “ Why must you be so difficult? If you would just talk to me, maybe we wouldn’t have to continue with this, ” The Doctor mused, as he undid the leather keeping her head bound. Looking up through her bloodshot, once vibrant purple eyes, Riley shook her head a little bit in response. “ No… ” She whimpered, crying. “ What do you mean ‘no’? Do you want me to turn the machine on again? ” O'Hara snapped, unimpressed. “ No… ” Riley repeated, through her tears. “ Why? ” The Doctor demanded in irritation. “ I’m not allowed… I’m not the one in charge here… ” The albino answered obediently from behind her scruffy hair, that was currently hanging all over her face; in bloom with ginger patches that needed to be redone. “ No, you’re not. I am, and I’m telling y- ” “ No you’re not, ” She responded, cutting him off; much unlike her. Usually, she was too stricken with fear to do anything considered rude towards him. Coming a brow, O'Hara watched her carefully. “ Well, that’s just ridiculous but I suppose you are mad. So, share with me some of that perspective, little dove. Tell me, if I’m not in charge… And you’re not in charge… And we are the only two people here… Who is in charge? ” He asked her. His response was barley audible and sounded something like 'her’ but equally it was too soft to confirm. “ Louder, miss Blackwood, ” He encouraged. “ I am, ” This time the girl’s voice came much clearer, know it had a certain edge to it now. A cocky sneer spread across her pale and chapped lips. Her eyes seemed to return to the lively, untameable violet that suited them so well; staring a hole into the Doctor’s soul from behind her bangs, that somehow now seemed more blue than ginger rather than vice versa. And, quite suddenly, his heart was pounding violently and he was afraid. It all seemed to happen so fast after that. The lights, the lights that had been so reliable all the years he’d worked there, began to flicker on and off like a war drum on steady but challenging beat. Drawers and cupboards came flying open as unsecured pieces of furniture were knocked over in wake of a unseen power. Windows began to bang open and closed, in time with the creaking of the doors and the staircases. In each flash of light he had between the darkness, O'Hara only grew more unsettled. He could feel himself panting as he took in the images that he was graced with by the blinking lightbulb and the much duller light of the pale blue moon. The first gasp of brilliance painted a very similar picture as before for him. There sat his patient, or at least, his patient’s body. There was something very different about Riley now. What it was, he couldn’t say for sure but he could feel it. Primal survival instincts that man had not used since the days Mammoths roamed the world were kicking into overdrive, old dust being blown aside in wake of this ancient danger. What happened next only seemed to confirm his worries. One second she was there. The next time he got to see the chair… Remained only wires and empty space. She was gone. She was not in her chair. And then she was right in front of him, barley inches from his face. As he backed up, he fell over something unseen. Continuing to back away even in this less than optimal position, he couldn’t find his voice to scream. If he did, guards would be here in seconds. They knew he was in here attending to one of the most infamous female killers of this century… Why weren’t they here already? How had they not heard all this clatter? “ Hi. What’s your name, you little abomination? ” This question came accompanied by sudden tranquility. The chaos came to a stop. Everything came to a stop. Now it was just him, her and silence. “ Y-You know my name, miss Blackwood, now… Please… Return to your chair. Now, Riley! ” He commanded. Why, why he wasn’t shouting for help was a mystery. Was it because he was curious? Because he was now, for the first time, really getting somewhere with her? Perhaps. “ 'Riley’? My, my, my… I’m afraid you have me confused. Riley’s the wretched little trembling coyote. I am miss valour wolf. I admit, it is quite a transformation but not one word of a lie. She’s the pathetic mouse who bows her head. I am the bad bitch she calls on when we need to get shit done. My name is Steampunk the Purple Eyed, stud muffin, yours? ” Steampunk asked, as she fiddled with the buckles of her undone straitjacket; naturally it couldn’t be done up in order to strap her to the chair. How she’d gotten out of said chair was beyond him- That was when he noticed it. It hadn’t been too noticed because of the straitjacket before and because he hadn’t been paying so much attention to it, his head was other places… But now it was hard to ignore, his eyes snapping to it in horror. The unnatural shape of it, the already obvious selling and the way it hung limply. She had dislocated her own wrist. The thought alone was enough to make him sick. She had managed to force her bones out of place, enough so she could slip out her hand and undo her restrains and she’d done it scarily fast too. Almost as if she’d done it before. It didn’t even seem to bother her, she seemed barley aware of how it flopped around loosely as she made hand gestures. Dislocations were never a pretty site but some of them were pretty mild, like the arm. Painful, yet but nothing too horrific but wrists? They required surgery followed by casts for as many months. She’d just inflicted a gut-wrenching, long term injury upon herself and she was giving it all the attention of a paper cut. “ I-I apologise, m-my name is Oliver, Oliver O'Hara, ” The Doctor stuttered out, holding his hands up defensively. “ Ah, okay. Oliver~ I’ve always loved that name. What a ring that is, huh? Oliver… You can name your kid after a food and a vital internal organ, how great’s that!? ” Steam cheered, giggling as some orange froth rolled off her tongue. “ I love kids, but God… People are awful at naming them. Like, poor Riley for example. Her dad named her that. You know what his name was? Rylan. If gramma or gramps ain’t called Rylyn or Ryland or something, I owe you ten bucks. I think everyone should do what my dad did, let a faceless demon name your kid when they come of age to join the life of servitude. Worked out great for me, I like my name, ” She babbled. O'Hara honestly didn’t know what to make of this sudden turn of events, or how he was supposed to react. Well, any normal person would scream or run but he was… Well, he was intrigued. “ Fascinating… Dissociative Identity Disorder… ” He muttered, watching he as he shakily got to his feet again. “ Actually darling, I’m a lower class Slenderbeing who just happens to be tethered to this meatbag’s soul since I manifested from her, ” Steampunk corrected, “ Nice try know. ” “ Mm, and delusional… Schizophrenia, perhaps? ” O'Hara considered, receiving a scoff. “ Darling, please, I’m far too gorgeous for your silly little labels. Do I look like a discount coat to you? No, I’m designer. ” “ Make that Narcissistic Personality Disorder too, ” He added, mesmerised as he grabbed a notepad to scrawl in. “ So, not much of a screamer? Can imagine the wife is too please by that, ” Steam commented, receiving a quirked brow. “ You’re standing in a room with a celebrity killer and you’re acting like I’m a one eyed kitten, ” She grumbled. “ I’m morbidly curious abo- ” “ Who was it? ” Steam interrupted. “ Excuse me? ” O'Hara responded with a frown. “ I said, who was it? Who’d you kill? ” The albino asked. “ What’re you- I- I have no idea what you’re talking about, ” The Doctor insisted. “ Then why are you standing two feet from a serial killer and acting fascinated instead of scared? I can see it in your eyes, you’re frightened… But only because you know you’re not on par with me, ” Steam continued. “ So go on, morbidly curious? Sure, but not about me. About yourself. You want to know why you did it, and why you want to do it again, dare I say… How to do it again? ” She suggested. “ Sororicide, it’s a very particular kind of murder… You’d know that yourself, ” O'Hara answered the question, if in a round about way. “ Ah, a sister… Gotcha, ” Steam said, nodding her head a little bit. “ Sisters, ” O'Hara corrected. “ It was… Glorious… ” He said with a nod of his head. Steam reached over, which caused him to flinch before relief swept over him as she only gave him a pat on the back. “ Well, perhaps I can make you a deal. I’m good but I’m not psychic and I’m too weak for my usual means of transport. Distract the guards outside long enough for me to slip away and then maybe my tongue will be loosened enough to let slip some trade secrets, ” Steam suggested, giving a playful wink. - It was an odd turn of events that ended up with Oliver O'Hara sitting in the living room of his plush, well decked out apartment and sharing a drink with Riley 'Steampunk’ Blackwood. “ So, who is it you’re planning to murder now, Oli? ” Steam inquired. “Well, I’m out of biological sisters… So I thought I might as well start with the Biblical ones. Beginning with that Sister Agatha, damn, I’ll enjoy that, ” He told her, closing his eyes as he envisioned it. “ Well, aren’t you just the sickest little pup, ” Steampunk considered as she stood up, looking out the window as she began to slip off her straitjacket. “ Wait, what’re you doing? ” He asked her, staring at her enthralled as she threw off the garment. “ What? You didn’t expect me to keep that on, did you? Don’t tell me you’re a virgin, ” She teased, as she adjusted her bra strap slightly. “Shut up. ” “ Make me, ” The albino challenged him, only to find herself pinned with lips on hers. - Steampunk hummed to herself, as she stared at the glimpse of the sunrise the open window near the bed provide. Feeling O'Hara’s fingertips trail down her bare skin, she shivered softly before turning around to face him; ignoring the slight squelching the wet sheets made. “ Well, I definitely need that, ” She purred softly, flashing a coy smirk before slipping out of bed; pulling on her panties and his shirt that he’d discarded the night previous. Making her way through to the kitchen, she heard him follow behind her as she poured herself a glass of water. “Yeah, me too, pussy cat. ” “ 'Pussy cat’? Fuck off, ” Steam responded, scrunching up her nose and shaking her head a little as she swirled her glass; nearly choking on her drink as she felt him spank her. Her eyes narrowed in dangerous warning. “ Sorry. It’s just, I haven’t done that in forever. Not since my sisters died, ” He said, leaning against the wall. “ What? Celebratory fuck? Blow all the inheritance on a hooker? ” Steam asked, her fur thoroughly bristled. She had quite obviously been rubbed the wrong way. “ Why would I spend cash on some skank when I had two warm bodies? Oh, you wouldn’t believe the things I did to them, alive and dead, ” This sparked Steampunk’s attention end. “ Oh, really? ” She inquired, as she walked over to the sink; the water she’d drank coming from the fridge rather than the tap. Dunking her glass under the water, she fidgeted around in the murk with her good hand for a moment before she felt a slight pain and saw a tinge of Crimson on the soapy water. Her fingers found the handle and tightened, waiting. “ Didn’t think you’d be into that… But, tell me, you’d never do that to me, would you? ” Steam inquired. “ Never, doll face, ” O'Hara answered coolly. “ Then tell me, how come you picked up that handgun on the way out of the bedroom? ” The Proxy asked, turning her head to look at him accusingly. The Doctor’s eyes widened and the hand he had hidden away behind him began to swing around to fire the gun, right through her skull. But he wasn’t quick enough. Even if Steampunk had been a regular human, she was still far more experienced than him; even with a blade that wasn’t her weapon of choice. If she was armed, she was dangerous. Her hand came out of the sink in a flurry of water droplets that soaked both of them, the knife she brandished cut through the air with sharp precision despite being dirty. Her aim was perfect and before he even had a chance to take the shot, Steampunk glided her blade through the skin of his throat; burying it deep before whipping it along as if she was doing something as easy as opening a zip. Warm blood squirted out of his neck like a sprinkler, splattering Steampunk in the foul smelling bodily fluid as O'Hara let out desperate gurgling noises; his eyes widened in mighty surprise. “ You shouldn’t look so shocked, love, I’m a black widow after all. Soon enough I would’ve bit you, ” She assured him, watching as his body went limp and fell to the ground with a loud thump. He toppled like a tree, a crimson puddle growing around him from the moment he connected with the floor. His handgun clattered off to the side somewhere, sliding and disappearing under a table. “ I mean, you electrocuted the living shut out of me for weeks. Well, my body at any rate. You really think I was gonna let you get away with that? Nu-uh, I just prolonged your life because I was… Morbidly curious, ” She declared to the corpse, coy smile on face as his blood trickled down her body. “ Besides… What sort of sick fuck doesn’t regret hurting their sister? What you did to those poor girls… Murder I can sympathise with but not that… I wish I could’ve had the time to toy with you before you died. Castrate you maybe, that could be fun… You’re lucky. I would’ve tortured you until your sisters ghosts error laughing their asses off at you, you evil prick, ”. Gathering herself up, Steampunk sighed and in a very theatrical, over the top action she drove her knife right into his groin. “ Close enough. Have fun having no junk in the afterlife, dickhead… Ah, shit! That’s what I should’ve done! I should’ve made you an actual dickhead, fuck! Why can’t I think because I act? ” She complained, shaking her head as a familiar static began to wash over her and dictate her actions. “ Took you long enough to find me, Governor. ”
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