#You made this day. You did this. You made NU'EST feel all the LOVE they deserved.

[cha-ra-nui]

2022 Retrospective

So, it's April. I have exactly nothing written for any of my usual categories but KPop, and very little interest in doing so. That doesn't mean that there wasn't any good stuff elsewhere. My favorite band released a new album. There were a couple of good Anime, live action shows, and movies I enjoyed a lot. Puss In Boots is amazing. Chainsaw Man made me binge the Manga in a day. I read Dune and it was A LOT. I just didn't take notes throughout the year, and looking back I can't come up with much to say, nor muster the energy to go through everything I should talk about to make this an accurate retrospective of my year. So KPop only it is this time.

In retrospect, I'm not quite sure if KPop was good in 2021, or if I just went on a SHINee deep dive and fell in love with the group all over again. And they still have a choke hold on my playlist, Jonghyun especially, there's just a lot to catch up with. It also didn't help that last year was incredibly dry, especially in the boy group department. But one thing at a time. First, a lighting round of everything noteworthy to me that I can't find enough to say about to warrant a complete paragraph. APink's “Dilemma” disappointed with a confusing and underwhelming chorus, and their subunit, while having a cute idea, also failed to leave much of an impression on me. Astro is out of the dark dungeons for good, and they're doing well with it. NU'EST disbanding was expected, considering the awful track record HYBE has with renewals of bought-out groups, but it stings nonetheless to see another one of the 2012 line-up go. Kingdom has an interesting concept, but their music always fails to convince me. “Ascension” is their best effort to date though. CLASS:y had a fun debut with “Shut Down”, and no follow up of theirs stuck the landing. Finally, BIBI's “Animal Farm” is cool. She knows what she’s doing. I also have no idea how she got “JOTTO” past age restriction on YouTube, but good for her. 2022 had an unreasonable number of releases I like to put on the “WTF are you even doing”-pile. Where 2021 saw a development of trends I've never been fond of coming to a head, especially within SM entertainment, last year was the desensitization phase. A lot of what I complained about before was put into perspective by the utter failure at successfully recreating those trends by new and established artists alike. There are some of the usual suspects, like certain NCT units, which feel designed to provoke confusion on my part, so I won’t discuss them anymore. In a post “Sticker” world, just being obnoxious was no longer enough to truly baffle me. And I can't stress enough just how much of KPop last year, especially coming from boy groups, was utterly obnoxious. In retrospect, GOT The Beat dropping “Step Back” on New Year’s Day was a perfect indicator of where the year was headed. Not only does the song sound unfinished, SM couldn't even be bothered to film a MV for it. The mixing is almost as awful as the lyrics, and considering the questionable theme of the song that’s saying a lot. And I can't help questioning why it had to be that way. Why did SuperM get to sing about how cool they are, but their female counterpart gets to play out a tired and sexist cliche? And repeatedly rhyming “level” on “level” certainly isn't great lyricism either. Such a waste of talent. No wonder BoA has no idea what she's even in the group for. ENHYPEN had a fantastic 2021. No, I wasn't convinced by them even then (thanks to HYBE's awful vocal processing), but their music was very recognizable, and at least “Drunk-Dazed” was undeniably a slam dunk for them. Last year though? “Blessed-Cursed” sounds unfinished, like it was only released to take advantage of the lack of competition on the charts last January. It's inoffensive, but also entirely forgettable and a slight departure from their established sound. But “Future Perfect (Pass The Mic)“ is truly unrecognizable as ENHYPEN. It's extremely generic 4th gen hype music, with none of the charm and energy the best songs in the genre showcase. Anyone could've released this. They even forgot to put the hyphen in the title. And this was only the first offender in the 4th-genification of HYBE boy groups. By all accounts, TXT should've ended the year on my favorites list. I loved their releases the previous year, and really thought that this was a direction HYBE would move them into further, considering the commercial success of the Chaos Chapter. Instead, they dialed back the rock influences and went for edginess instead. This was the first comeback last year where I've seen the VIXX comparison being made, and hell no, VIXX had more maturity than this even during their rookie-days horror phase. “Good Boy Gone Bad” is just frustrating. There's stuff to appreciate about it, like how TXT is still the group under in-house bighit who is least affected by HYBE's infamous vocal production. But the song ultimately falls flat due to played out and edgy lyrics, and a static and repetitive chorus. With how utterly devoid of personality this song is, it’s hard to remember that TXT is one of the major reasons for the rise of pop punk concepts in recent KPop. Seventeen is the third HYBE group to drop everything that makes them unique to go for a generic 4th gen song instead, and “Hot” is exactly good as that sentence suggests. They know what they're doing, but I doubt this is what anyone is stanning them for. Then of course the one HYBE group whose musical style would fit the current boy group trends, partly because they had a huge part in coining them, releases...whatever “Yet To Come” even is. If you're not trying I won't either. I did somewhat like J-Hope's solos though. If I was interested in the genre or not as dead tired of BTS as I currently am I would be all over “More” and “Arson”. At least he sounds like he means it. In a similar vein, Big Bang's long-awaited comeback was not at all the triumphant return I expected. “Still Life” sounds like a swansong. They're done being idols, that's the impression I got from this release. And if that's the case, good for them, hope you don't have too many regrets leaving this life behind. But it's weird that they aren't in the same room for the entirety of the MV. They're on the “WTF are you even doing”-pile not because it's a ballad, or because it's somber, but because it too sounds unfinished. The song ends very abruptly, and half the lyrics are filler. There is no physical release, and no B-sides either. After 6 years of waiting, and especially compared to every other recent 2nd gen revival, I expected more. The final boy group in this category is ONEUS, and it pains me to criticize them so heavily. They just had an awful year, even ignoring their big scandal. “Bring It On” is a mess and overstays its welcome. The MV also wastes the concept set up by the teasers. But ONEUS has always been hit or miss with me. No, it is “Same Scent” that landed them a spot on the bad pile. Not only does it sound like a less interesting and polished rehash of “A Song Written Easily”, not only does it phenomenally waste the concept of its teasers, but it also asks for VIXX comparisons once again. And unlike “Luna”, it just does not withstand those. This is the most phoned-in a comeback of theirs ever felt. Luckily the girl groups this year were not nearly as fond of developing into confusing directions (with the notable exception of Weeekly). But one group came out of the gate swinging with the goal of wasting their talent as efficiently as possible. And it’s impossible to talk about them without discussing aespa first. “Girls” is a nice showcase of everything wrong with their concept. Already the forced focus of every title track on SM's lore feels stifling. There are only so many times you can sing about fighting the same villain on a backdrop of world building this shallow before it becomes repetitive. The choreography is a bad joke, and the song itself isn’t all that interesting either. The breakdown comes in too late to save it. While I didn’t like their output last year, I found myself at least thinking about it sometimes, this was forgettable in comparison. Their songs are a hot mess, but it could work. They have the talent to make it work, their lyrics just take me out of it every single time. And yet, it always feels like they will inevitably get that one song that will convince me somewhere down the line. But what happens if you try to copy the messed-up song structure they got famous for with “Next Level” and do it without any understanding for what makes aespa popular? “0.0” might just be the worst debut song I have ever heard. God, this is a mess. This is beating a dead horse at this point, I'm aware, but there was no way I could pretend this didn't happen. The girls have talent, that much is clear, but their title tracks are awful. It's aespa's messy song structure, but the stitched together songs range from forgettable to obnoxious and screaming “NMIIIIIIIIX” during the sorry excuse for a transition they allow the two frankensteined songs to have does not make it better. “Dice” is arguably even worse, because “0.0” at least is loud enough to force a reaction. Everyone has an opinion about that song. “Dice” meanwhile is just forgettable. And yet, even with how much JYP was trying, NMIXX wasn't even the biggest waste of talent for me. No, that honor belongs to BLACKPINK. You give us nothing for two years, and then we get...”Pink Venom” and “Shut Down”. Okay. Let’s see. “Pink Venom” is certainly the lesser evil here. It had potential to be good even. The final breakdown is incredibly jarring, the intro is obnoxious, and sampling “Pon The Replay” was a horrible idea, it just made me want to listen to that instead. But the chorus is a nice change of pace for them, and they sell it. All the song needed was a bit more polish, and a proper final chorus. “Shut Down” meanwhile was one big nothing of a song. “Whatever” is not the reaction anyone should have to a BLACKPINK comeback, and yet that's all I can bring myself to feel about it. When I was talking about CLASS:y's debut with my sister she called it “The better of the two Shut Downs we got this year”, and I genuinely couldn't remember that BLACKPINK, the biggest girl group on the planet, had a title track with that name. It’s very repetitive; the baseline never changes once during the entire three-minute song. But despite that repetitiveness it fails to be catchy or memorable. For the first time, a BLACKPINK comeback did not feel like a big deal, and despite my many gripes with their music, that saddens me a bit. Finally, Red Velvet may or may not belong in this category. Their releases this year weren’t awful but confusing for sure. “Feel My Rhythm” could have been nice if it just stuck to its own concept. The modern styling that shows up halfway through the MV in tandem with a more modern KPop sound is distracting, but the overall song is boring rather than confusing. “Birthday” meanwhile sounds oddly juvenile coming from a senior group. This would make much more sense if it were released by rookies. It has moments that sound a lot like Red Velvet, but they are startling in a song that sounds like it was written for someone else entirely. Seulgi's solo debut was nice though, “28 Reasons” may fail entirely at living up to its title, but it’s a good fit for her, and I like it more than anything the group released in a while.

I initially planned to structure the KPop part of this retrospective into 4 categories. The “WTF are you even doing”-pile first, then everything I had mixed opinions on, followed by artists that stood out positively this year, and closing the segment with a look at how my faves did. But the more I look at my notes, the less I feel like writing the middle two segments. There just wasn't much I have unbridled praise for, and half of the good category is sorted in there only for lack of anything negative to say on my part, not because I loved the releases. So, I'm going to start with those three artists.

I have never been a fan of GOT7. Neither the members nor the music JYP handed them ever convinced me. They have a few good songs, but they never stood out to me beyond having the power of a big label behind them. And JYP liked to do them dirty anyway, especially compared to Stray Kids. GOT7 was never allowed to take creative control of their own music and image, a fact their fandom has bemoaned for a long time. And this year I found myself agreeing. They should have been cut lose way sooner. Not because their reunion was noteworthy beyond the fact that it happened. No, because Jackson Wang's solos are better than anything he ever contributed to GOT7. Yeah, turns out the problem was not JYP, it was not letting Jackson sing at an orgy. I like “Blow” as a song (turns out Jackson is a better singer than rapper, who would have guessed?), but the music video adds a lot to the experience. And that much is true for all his singles this year. “Blow”, “Cruel”, and “Come Alive” all convince with great choreography. And by that I am not referring to just the dance, the videos are well thought out, shot, and edited. “Cruel” is a three-minute fight scene disguised as a choreo video. It says a lot about their quality that by the time Riot Games made a kick-ass animated short for “Fire To The Fuse” all I thought was: “checks out”. Though seeing him perform at League worlds was certainly wild. I have less to say about the other two. PSY's “That That” was fun. Duh. This is PSY. Who else would get a BTS member to feature on a song just so they could punch each other in the face? The song is catchy as usual, and the music video is bound to at least make you smile at the absurdity of the rap battle. TWICE is the last artist on the good list for lack of anything to criticize. “Pop” was exactly what you would expect from a Nayeon solo debut. If anything, it was too expected, and wouldn't be surprising as a TWICE single. You don't have to stretch your imagination much to make up a line distribution for OT9 TWICE. Still, it was a catchy song, and she did well with it. Mostly I'm just glad that they're sticking around. “Talk That Talk” is very unapologetically a TWICE song, shock full of all the quirks and personality you'd expect. That is why I don't have much to praise. It's TWICE. It's a proven formula. They work. They managed to mature without changing their core appeal, and I'm sure they're going to continue being a nice presence to have around. Which is good, because this year it felt like the reign of 3rd gen groups was finally over. Most of the big hits came from new artists. 2022 reminded me of 2017, when, after a few years of coexistence, 2nd gen groups started to fade from relevance. I'm going to miss the generation that got me into KPop, the 2012 boy group line up especially, but it's not like there aren't any older artists sticking around. The 2nd gen is more alive than the 3rd gen at the moment, and I'm living for it. I never have much to say about Super Junior, but I never want them to change their style either. While “Don't Wait” is fun and should've been the title track, “Mango” was one of the better boy group singles last year, for lack of competition, but also because it's pleasant to listen to. BoA's “Forgive Me” may sound very in line with current trends, but her attitude and vocals are on point. And “When I Move” was a nice surprise at the end of the year. We need more adult woman in KPop. There is a certain quality that comes with experience, and we rarely see girl groups stick around long enough to celebrate a 15th anniversary. The biggest of which certainly was Girls' Generation's “Forever 1”. I'm not sure if the song makes up for the long wait, but I love that it was a love letter to the group. They deserve to celebrate themselves. Once again though it feels like SM's second gen solos are more interesting than the group releases, and Taeyeon did well this year. “Can't Control Myself” doesn't even make my top 3 SM 2nd gen solo pre-releases of 2022 (very specific, I know, blame Key and Changmin), but more due to the quality of the competition than its own shortcomings. It's a simple song, but she sells the hell out of it. Similar things can be said about the title track “INVU”, a clever wordplay I am sure the lyricist is very proud of. I wish they'd done more with the concept, I feel robbed of Artemis Taeyeon, but it seems like it revived the interest in her solos, and I can't begrudge it that success. (G)I-DLE, against all predictions, might just have been the most commercially successful 3rd gen group this year. Did they deserve it? Eh, kinda. “Tomboy” is a bit of a hot mess. The hook is strong enough to justify the commercial success of the single, one of the best beatdrops released this year for certain. Their vocal line still slays too, Yuqi especially, and their attitude has always been on point. But for everything good or even amazing about this song, there is something awkward holding it back, most infamously Soyeon's 2nd verse. Go film a tiktok kiddo, and...swear without cigarettes? Eh on drinking whiskey? What? And once again, dead horse, but you really don't know what tomboy means. “Nxde” meanwhile is consistently good start to finish, but the hook doesn't hit as hard. Karmen is an overdone sample, and this wasn't a creative use of it. It's a song that profits a lot from its music video though. I can't help but respect the pure guts of the concept, and that they managed to make sexy empowering. This was one of the cleverest comebacks this year for sure, and another case in point for why we need girl groups to stick around for longer than just a few years. No rookie group could've released this. That didn't stop the rookies from going absolutely nuts this year though. IVE might've debuted last year, but their debut was still taking music show wins well into February. In any other year, they would be the biggest rookie group without any competition, I don't think I've ever seen a group dominate that hard with just three singles under their belt. “Love Dive” is going to take most SOTY awards, and already has three in the bag as of writing this. It's far from my favorite song this year, but it's easy to see why it became so big. It's nice to listen to, catchy, and comes with a super cool prechorus. The production on their songs is super clean, and that also shows in their follow up “After Like”. The problem I'm having is that their vocals aren't strong enough for the song. Only Wonyoung delivers the chorus with the flair it demands. At this point, it's clear that the true star is their production team. Nevertheless, that is already more than many groups have to offer, and they're young. They're probably going to stick around for a while, and it'll be interesting to see them grow up artistically. The other big post-IZ*ONE group debut meanwhile didn't go down as smoothly. “Fearless” is fine, I didn't have an issue with the song, and the EP even had some good B-sides. The problem is that their entire debut promotion cycle was overshadowed by a bullying scandal that ended with a member leaving. And as a former victim of bullying myself, I am absolutely disgusted by what happened. The collective internet ruined the life of a 16-year-old girl over unproven allegations of something she supposedly did at age 12. Fighting fire with fire is never going to work, and bullying is not a problem we can solve by bullying minors out of their dream job. LE SSERAFIM is always going to leave a bitter taste in my mouth because of that. “Anti-Fragile” then reads as super ironic to me. You can't tell me that your group is fearless and anti-fragile if that is your debut story. Shame, because the song has grown on me quite a bit. The “anti-ti-ti-ti-fragile” chant is annoying, but it is a catchy song otherwise, with much more personality than their debut had. If you want to flex your biceps though, maybe actually have one? There are other ways to portray strength than flexing muscles, and if anything, this move makes them look more fragile, not less so. And because two big debuts battling it out wasn't enough, HYBE pulled a SHINee on us and dropped another new girl group without much more than a rumor leading up to their debut. Also like SHINee, they're going to change this industry, if not at all for the same reasons. In an industry that has embraced its own artificiality, NewJeans' laid-back concept is a breath of fresh air. They look like no other group on the market, and they don't sound like any either. “Attention” is the official debut single, and it is a decent enough song. Nothing impressive in the vocal department here either, and the final chorus overstays its welcome quite a bit. But attention it grabbed indeed. “Hype Boy” was the second single of their debut EP, and I enjoyed that one a lot more. It's a true mood lifter of a song and shows off the charm of their concept better than “Attention” in my opinion. They also dropped “Ditto” just before the end of the year, and I really like it. The song is super chill and has been stuck in my head since its release. The music video is also very well made. It's charming, although this song too has no idea what its titular word means. But like with LE SSERAFIM, there is a giant asterisk next to any praise I have for them: The controversy surrounding “Cookie”. It would've been better if the girls weren't minors, but the song would creep me out either way. I have a passionate hatred for cheeky, cutesy, innuendo-filled songs. If you're not mature enough to talk about sex, you're not mature enough to have it, you know? And then there are the stories about Min Heejin. I'm not one to judge people based on rumors, but some of her work with SM was incredibly creepy too, and I'd much rather have her stay away from idols period. While I would admire the group's concept for being genius marketing, one must question if marketability was even a consideration when the creative mind behind them was also responsible for making SHINee, whose oldest member was 21 at the time, look even younger by all possible means for their “Sherlock” album, milk bottles and digital removal of muscle mass included. And I struggle to reconcile my abhorrence for Min Heejin with my growing appreciation for NewJeans' music. The copycats didn’t take long to appear this time too, with TripleS' first unit's debut, “Generation”, feeling very inspired by NewJeans. It has the same intend of making the girls look like normal teenagers, appealing to a sense of camaraderie in younger fans, and nostalgia in the older ones. I think they did a better job in some respects (certainly at not being creepy about it), and the song is nice, but the similarities are certainly noteworthy. TripleS also has a horrible group concept I refuse to engage with, and I'm worried that giving young idols such a girl next door image will bring back some of the horribly entitled stan behavior we've seen during 2nd gen. The fun part is, I'm still not even done with girl group debuts. No one seems to be sure if XG counts as KPop, but they certainly have the same appeal. Their lyrics could use some improvement, but I've seen much worse even by native speaking English artists. And the girls own their songs. “Tippy Toes” is a decent debut, and the confidence they deliver it with is impressive. But well, what do you expect from a group that is canonically a pack? No seriously, it's in the lyrics. And “Mascara” has been a guilty pleasure for me. It should be cringey by all accounts, but there is enough genuine good about it to make me come back despite, or maybe even because of the cringe worthy bits. This song is pure girl power, and in the age of girl crush that is much appreciated. Lastly, there is one boy group debut I want to mention. TAN's “DU DU DU” really ticks all the boxes for red flags you can imagine. A group formed by a fairly unknown survival show? Check. A group name that is impossible to google? Check. A onomatopoeia song title? Check And yet, the song is good. The beatdrop is smooth, the group seems to have a decent vocal line, and it's been ages since I've heard a well utilized rapper in a vocal focused song. I didn't enjoy any of their other comebacks, but this was one hell of a song to start out on. Even beyond the debuts, most of what stood out this year came from 4th gen groups. I liked ATEEZ this year, though maybe that is familiarity bias after playing some of their songs in Beatsaber extensively. Their music seems ideal for that game. “Guerrilla” feels like everything I could want from a 4th gen hype song. It's super cool. ATEEZ has the vocal line to build up to and deliver on a proper chorus, and they aren't afraid to get a bit dirty with it. I wish they did more with the MV concept, but that's the Starlight in me talking. “Cyberpunk” is also a strong B-side, and I feel like the only person in the world who prefers the title track over it. Like NewJeans, they also sneaked in another comeback after everyone was already done with their year-end lists. "Halazia" is the usual affair for them. A bit too much autotune in the verses for my liking, especially since ATEEZ really doesn't need it and the effect adds nothing to the song. But that's forgivable considering how cool everything else about this comeback is. And if you told me a year ago that my favorite boy group song of 2022 would be by P1Harmony I wouldn't have believed you, but here we are. Some of that is certainly due to the utter lack of competition, but “Doom Du Doom” is a good song in its own right. The anti-drop is extremely smooth, and it works start to finish. The MV is also a delight. Backyard Olympics are a fun concept, and the small details really sell it. From the burning satellite dish serving as the Olympic flame to the boxing announcer counting choruses like rounds of the match. It's not quite ONF level of delightful, but delightful nonetheless. I still wish E'LAST wasn't as nugu as they are, and Wonhyuk might be actually cursed. So much talent, so much bad luck. Of all the groups to get their account hacked and taken down in the middle of a comeback, did it have to be them? They are barely dodging disbandment already. “Creature” is the most 4th gen they have ever sounded, but it’s a very E'LAST take on a beatdrop for sure. They have the talent to sell their epic sound, and the anti-drop here works well too. I doubt they're ever topping “Tears Of Chaos” at this point, but they're worth checking out nonetheless and could seriously use more attention. Then we have StayC, who, just when I started to come around on them, had their first real miss. “Run2U” is fun, catchy, and a super clean production, as I've come to expect from them. There still wasn't anything outstanding about them, but the lack of negative things to say was refreshing. Then they dropped “Beautiful Monster” and all of that went down the drain. The song is generic in all the wrong ways. Still a clean production, but it feels empty and pointless. The final group in the mixed section is ITZY, and no one is more confused about that than I am. I had given up on ever understanding the hype around them. I don't like their voices, and I loathe a decent chunk of their title tracks, “Sneakers” included. The chorus wastes all the good will the first verse manages to amass. Congratulations JYP, you reached the “sneakers are empowering” stage of feminism. But “Cheshire” is fun, and the first song of theirs I ever downloaded. I tend to like JYP groups more as their careers go on, so who knows, if this is a direction they stick to maybe they'll release other songs I like in the future. As for the artists I don't stan but have nothing but praise for...well, I'm still not done talking about rookies. Billlie might not have impressed me with their debut, but they killed it last year. “GingaMingaYo (the strange world)” has one of the best choruses I heard all year, and the rest of the song is no letdown either. I've called most girl group releases fun and catchy this year, because that was the trend, but this one takes the cake. The song and MV are sure to put a smile on my face, and certainly put the group on my radar. Their 2nd title track, “RING ma Bell (what a wonderful world)”, was one of the better takes on pop punk too. They imbue the song with just enough personality to make it work, and the anti-drop is surprising for once. Most importantly, they perform the song with a lot of energy. The sense of joy that seems to permeate everything they release mixes well with the pop punk concept. Fitting then, that the other rookie I was happy about is not only just as joyful, but also made pop punk work. Among all the post-IZ*ONE projects, Yena's solo is my favorite. “Smiley” and “Smartphone” are equally fun and catchy title tracks, and “LxxK 2 U” is a deservedly popular B-side and the aforementioned venture into pop punk. Beyond the songs though, the strong sense of personality both of her releases have is what I loved most about them. Not even a year in, and she already has a distinct and recognizable style. There's a risk of that becoming stale if not developed long-term, but for now, her releases have been a delight. And because we didn't have enough noteworthy girl group debuts yet, Fifty Fifty crawled their way into hidden gem status by the power of their strong debut EP "The Fifty". It's good start to finish, "Lovin' Me" being my personal favorite, but it's the girls themselves that stand out here, not just the production. There's some real talent on display in this debut, and I hope to hear more of them. Finally, in an entirely different niche of KPop, there was once again a 2nd gen SM solo I did not have on my radar at all. If “Step Back” was an indicator of where the year was heading, Changmin pre-releasing “Fever” during the same concert was what I wished had been a sign instead. The entire EP is one big flex by the original evil maknae, and if I explained what I love about the vocals in all the tracks I want to highlight I'd sound like a broken record. Changmin is an amazing singer, and he's from the generation of SM idols who're so far past the need for hits, they can't be bothered to follow the trends. “Fever” might as well be a musical number, and “Maniac” is a complaint about a stalker told in Hitchcock references that just gets better the more I hear it. The pre-releases are so good, they almost overshadow the title track. Which is saying something, because “Devil” demands your attention. It's loud, not because its noisy, it's quite subdued even, but because it's dramatic beyond reason. “Alien” then somehow manages to be simultaneously smooth and cute, and even an avid ballad hater like me can appreciate “Airplane Mode” sometimes. Except for one song, the EP is an absolute slam dunk in my opinion. If I have one gripe with it, it's that the velvet album cover, while cool, collects dust like crazy and is impossible to clean. KPop wasn't just in general not to my taste last year, and even the artists I like didn't deliver as much as I hoped they would. With one exception: Every time WOODZ releases something it's entirely different from his last comeback, and every time it's somehow exactly what I want from him. “Colorful Trauma” is my favorite EP of his to date. Even with the abundance of pop punk concepts we've seen recently, no one else comes even close to being as good at it as WOODZ is. He's the only one I can actually imagine singing in a rock band, and he's proven that he knows how to properly use a guitar in KPop before. "I Hate You" was really the only possible pick for a title track but might just be the least remarkable song on the album. Every song works. "Dirt On My Leather" is just a straight up rock song, no pretense of KPop at all, howling electric guitars and rock vocals included. "Hijack" too is extremely cool, and something about "Hope To Be Like You" makes me come back to that song time and time again. WOODZ absolutely knows what he is doing, and I can't wait to hear what he releases next. I wish I could express the same level of excitement for my other faves, but their releases were a lot more mixed. I'm not sure what to make of Dreamcatcher's sci-fi era. “Locked Inside A Door” is the only B-side on “Apocalypse: Save Us” that I liked enough to download, and while “Maison” was certainly among the better title tracks this year, I just can't make sense of it. The song is lacking a chorus, and the final breakdown is easily the best part. I still like it, but that's mostly on the members. Dreamcatcher is a group where every single member adds to their songs, and there's never a shortage of fantastic moments to pick a favorite from. It just doesn't come together into a cohesive whole on “Maison”. “Vision” meanwhile may have weaker moments, but the song as a whole slaps. Once again, the members do a lot of heavy lifting, Siyeon especially, but the songwriting is quite strong too. The EP is fine, but the title track is the only song that stands out. Nevertheless, I'm super happy that they're sticking around for a second contract and am looking forward to where they're heading next. My favorite rookies meanwhile had their first big miss with “memeM”. The song leans very hard into the type of 4th gen noise music that I appreciated Purple Kiss for not doing, and it's the exact opposite of what I want from them. The entire EP was disappointing after the impeccable run they had up to this point. “Pretty Psycho” is the only song I put on my playlist, and I think even RBW realized that it was more popular than the title track. But it was also supposed to be the intro to their comeback last year, so at least some of it has already existed for months, which was worrisome. So I'm glad to report that “Geekyland” was everything I wanted. “Nerdy” is my favorite title track of theirs so far. It's fun, quirky, and catchy. The MV makes perfect use of their quirky horror concept and is one of the very few this year that is consistent with the teaser concepts and delivers on their potential. “Bye Bye Bully” is such a good intro, I wish it would receive the “Pretty Psycho” treatment and be turned into a full song too. The rest of the EP is mostly good as well. “Love Is Dead” is cool, and “SuMMer RaiN” is a lovely ballad. I also finally figured out that Stray Kids aren't single artists. I'm not the biggest fan of "Maniac", but it works within the context of "Oddinary". None of the songs on that EP made it onto my playlist, but I liked listening to the album (and playing every Alekcake map of it in Beatsaber). I didn't enjoy "Maxident" though. The songs felt like just more of the same. Except for the title track. "Case 143" is a straightforward love song, and damn is that weird coming from this group. It's fun though, and the MV is fantastic as usual. ONF's entire existence has been a delight for me, so of course they not only handled their military hiatus as quickly as possible, but they also prepared a special album to release in the middle of it. The title track of which, "Your Song", falls under the category of fansongs that are only truly enjoyable if you already like the group. Luckily for me, I do, so this has been a nice surprise to carry us through their hiatus. I can't wait to have them back for real this year.

Finally, there is SHINee. Even with the group on hiatus, Shawols had no shortage of new music to enjoy. The one upside to their current military break is that Onew, Key, and Minho finally get to establish their solo careers on their own terms, with the budget of the group at their disposal. Minho surprised us by releasing an EP right when we'd given up hope for it. Ever since Jonghyun made his debut album a copy of Taemin's in everything but music, SHINee had a running joke about their solo debuts plagiarizing each other. The albums are all in the same format, have the same font and layout, and most importantly, the titles rhyme. “Chase” is the long-awaited final entry in the plagiarism series. And it's a decent effort, but I think it mostly exists not because Minho wanted to release solo music, but because he wanted to complete the joke Jonghyun started. The songs even make multiple references to Jonghyun's solos, with the title track being named after “Let Me Out” (a favorite of mine), and a reference to “Take The Dive” in the lyrics of “Waterfall”. The latter is also the song I listened to the most on this EP, and its only real standout track. Onew too released an EP last year, and everything about “Dice” is delightfully Onew: a bit weird, a bit awkward, soft, and adorable. That charm, and its interesting concept, is what makes the MV one of my favorites of the year. Shawols also showed their chaotic queer energy by simping not (only) for Onew, but for the girl in the MV. And for good reason. She's the most perfect love interest they could've given him. I love how the story plays out, with Onew being entirely in over his head, but trying his best to save her anyway because he's just a good person. Even though she never needed his help, the mere fact that he tried is enough. It's very sweet, and suits Onew so much. The same can be said about the music. “Dice” makes for a fine title track, “Sunshine” is pure serotonin, and “On The Way” is the kind of vocal flex that doesn't sound like much on first listen, but gets more astonishing the more you pay attention to the details. He's SHINee's main vocal for a reason. I'm not as fond of the rest of the album, and overall Onew's might just be the SHINee solo I'm least into, but that's more a compliment to the other solos then a dig against him. Even if his music doesn't quite align with my taste the way Jonghyun's does, this is still a SHINee solo, and they just don't miss. Then of course there is Key's 2nd album and boy do I have beef with it. The retro horror themed teasers and album packaging are nothing short of amazing, and then the MV is something else entirely. Give me Key playing multiple villains for an entire music video, I beg you. “Gasoline” also isn't what I wanted musically. It's the type of song about hyping yourself up and sticking it to the haters that every single boy group has done at this point. But it works here for three main reasons: First of all, Key is one of the most charismatic and engaging performers KPop has to offer. He can save worse. Secondly, and more importantly, he delivers the song with exactly the right attitude. Key understands that a song about doing your own thing no matter what should be one you enjoy performing, and he very clearly does. And that's made even more powerful by the final reason: he earned these lyrics. Key has gotten so much shit just for being himself (mostly for rumored queerness) over 14 years of being an idol, and he never backed down. So if he goes on stage and sings about how this is his joy, his style, his ego, it rings true. And the rest of the albums feels designed to proof just that. It's all very Key. “Bound” is what happens if you hand a lost VIXX song to Key and let him run wild with it. It hits the same fine line between sexy and creepy that VIXX was so good at, lets him flex his vocal range, and adds voguing to the performance because this is Key, and he knows exactly what he is doing. “Villain” tells a story about a fictional villain deciding to go off script because they're fed up with always losing and tired of playing by the rules. “Ain't Gonna Dance” is confident and fabulous and comes with more ironic uses of pet names than the average MinKey interaction. “I Can't Sleep” is a song about insomnia that hits very close to home and proves once more that SHINee needs more lyrics written by the members. “Burn” is a breakup song treated with nuance and maturity. Key also kept his tradition of putting an English song on every release, and “Another Life” with its space imagery is very noticeably a late cut made from “Bad Love” the year prior. SHINee and synth pop is always a win though, and this is no exception. Really, the entire album is a win, these are just the songs that stand out to me the most. And by the power of future sight (aka, laziness and being five months late with this retrospective), I can tell that I'll praise his repackage this year too. So, I guess this is it. Key can have song of the year, again, for “Bound” this time. WOODZ gets album of the year with “Colorful Trauma”, and idk…if the three solos count as combined effort by SHINee they can have artist of the year, I guess. No one else earned it, or at least, I don’t want to hand it to any of the groups who might’ve earned it. This was a demotivating year, I’m glad it’s over.

[r3ndom]

Hello, today is such an amazing day for NU’EST & LOVEs. I wanna leave this post and congratulate all the LOVEs who stayed beside NU’EST until today and also all the new LOVEs who wholeheartedly accepted and loved NU’EST. To all the LOVEs who worked hard may be it physically, financially, spiritually, etc. just to make this day happened.

I’m so happy, I can’t stop crying. The boys were obviously shocked hehe...Some of us may have this crazy idea of “Next time, we(LOVEs) will make you cry of happiness because we will make you win” every time we fail in making them win. All the hardships and sh*ts that they had to experienced since they debut...all those pain and tears. Now, they’ve proven to knetz and international fans too who’s this so called group, NU’EST. I really do hope that they’ll continue to create and share their music and talent to everyone. They’re wonderful. They’re masterpiece.

PS: Can you imagine how their parents/family must be so proud and happy right now? The boys may be crying until now, even Minhyun. *cries*

[newdeobis]

break up with your girlfriend, I'm bored

Jacob x fem reader

warnings: cheating, kinda angsty cause I was listening Segno by Nu'est and now I'm in my feels????? idk, mature content, mentions of anal, a few spanks, jacob is a little shit, what did you expected?

ㅤㅤ

This shouldn't feel this good, you shouldn't be so addicted to his lips nor so attracted to his body.

You just can't hold back your moans when his lips close around the skin of neck again, marking it up once more. Decorating your skin with new hickeys even tho the ones from last night still there. It's like he's never letting it fade out.

Your glassy eyes stare at his face again when he stops to admire his work. His smile slowly getting bigger before taking a good look at your face, you looked so fucking beautiful all wrecked under him that he couldn't help but close the distance in between your lips, taking your breath away once again. Like he's all you can feel, breathe and see.

_ Gosh, you're a work of art. — he mutters against your lips, hips grinding into you faster, making you mewl. — I swear I could fuck you like this all day.

You throw your head back, arching your back. It feels so fucking good, you almost can ignore the annoying buzz of his phone, her name lighting up the screen and you swear he goes deeper inside you when he sees it.

_ Don't pick up. — you whisper, nails digging into his arms a little harder, trying to mark him up as yours. You don't give a fuck if she'll see it. Actually, you kinda hope she does. He groans when you lift your hips, trying to match his pace. — Break up with her, angel.

_ Fuck. — Jacob mutters under his breath when he hear the nickname, hands gripping your waist roughly, eyes closed and you can tell he wants to cum from the way his thrusts are faultering. He loves it when you call him that way.

You use the opportun to take a good look at his face. He's so fucking beautiful, you could swear he was an angel when you first saw him. His hands locked with hers, but his eyes locked with yours. All you needed was a small talk and a few drinks to have him on his knees that night.

_ You know I can't. — he laughs breathlessly, holding the small of back before letting one of his hands quickly finding your boobs while the other grabs your ass, manhandling it roughly. The look of admiration on his face almost making you fall for his lies. — But you know you're still my favorite, right? Your pussy was made just for me. Fuck, I love how well you take me. — you hiss when you feel a sharp pain in you rear, the slap echoing in your ears — Come on, baby, ride me.

You whimper, hips responding to his command faster than you could think about it.

You feel so dirty when her name lights up his phone again, his eyes watching you when you reach out to his phone, hips thrusting up roughly, giving your ass another slap.

_ Don't fucking do that. — Jacob almost growls, eyes narrowing. — Do I need to tie you up? — you can feel yourself getting close to your high as he keeps his pace. — Gosh, you really can't have anything without trying to fuck things up. I came all the way to your house thinking about ways of making you cum and feel good under me but why can't you be good and take anything I try to give you?

He abruptly stops, pulling out when he feels you clenching around him. You love it when he's angry, loves it when he's rough and use you as his fucktoy.

_ Turn around. — he watches as you do, ass up in the air and face down just as he likes it. The blonde hums, hands caressing your ass before giving it another slap, marveling at the way it jiggles. Hands spreading your cheeks to watch the way you clench around nothing. — Shall we try anal? You look so tight, I should stretch you a bit.

_ No. I'm not doing this with you. — You scoff, stopping when you feel his tongue circle around you tight hole, not being able back the moan that came out of your throat. — Are you sure? Not even my fingers? — Jacob tried again, index finger replacing his tongue, slowly easing the tip of his finger inside you before pulling out, doing it all over again when you don't complain.

_ Stop. — you whine when he repeat the same action for the third time. — I'm not letting you fuck my ass while you're still with her.

He stops, groaning in dismay.

_ Seriously, don't do that, I'm not doing that with you. — you say quietly, a serious look on your face as you let the words out. — Not when you're still fucking someone else.

The boy tsks, feeling uncomfortable and annoyed.

_ I can't give you what you want, sorry. — Jacob murmurs.

_ You never can.

Jacob stares at you in silence for a couple seconds, trying not to make it obvious that he was taken aback. But oh how he is pissed off. You knew exactly what you were getting into from the start.

_ Shut the fuck up. — the boy grits through his teeth. — Shut. the. fuck. up. Can you stop talking about it or do I need to fill your mouth too? — Jacob angrily asks, snorting when you don't talk back. — Funny, when you're supposed to talk you keep your mouth shut.

Come on, it kinda hurted him too to do something like that with his girlfriend behind her back, but he was addicted to the thrill. He doesn't know how you really feel: if you're just as messed up as the boy or if you actually have feelings for him. It's not like he wants or is trying to find out. Things are better this way.

But you are getting way too clingy, way too bossy and jealous for his liking.

_ Shit. — he says and it's barely a whisper. — I'm sorry, okay, babe?

The only answer he got was a tsk, so the boy didn't say anything else. Hands now touching your ass gently, massaging the flesh and spreading it before him again.

You remain in silence even when he push his length back inside you again, biting your lips and muffling the sounds against your pillow. He feels so good, stretching your walls in all the right ways, filling you up like no one else ever did. It used to make you feel like you were the only one, but now there's a lump in your throat that only growls every time he touches you.

Jacob wants to tell you again how good you feel wrapped around him too, how wet your pussy is and that's perfectly made just for him. But he holds back all his words so you wouldn't feel anything other than pleasure. Doesn't want to give you hopes.

You move your hips back, gasping when he comes closer. His veiny cock hitting your sweet spot with that new angle has you crying out. Feeling like you can't breathe with how you are shoving your head on the pillow. Knuckles white from holding the sheets with a tight grip. Hips in up the air as he fucks you hard, so deep that it almost hurt.

He whispers something, but you can't hear it even if you want to, too lost in the feeling to take in his words. You are so so so close and he knows your body enough to speed up, hips increasing the pace so you could cum around him. And that's what you did, body heating up and shaking from the pleasure. Clenching around him as he kissed your back, nails scrapping the skin of your hips, getting closer and closer to his own high.

_ I'm sorry, please, I'm so sorry. — Jacob whispers as he cum, lips kissing your back shile his cum fills up the condom. Hips slowing down until he's done riding his orgasm. Pulling out with a grunt. A whimper leaving your lips when he touches your pussy, fingers daring to rub your clit as a laugh comes out of his pretty lips. Your heart aches. — I didn't even need to touch your clit this time, this pussy must love my cock. — he sing-songs in a cocky way. You don't mutter a word.

You just stare at his back when he gets up and you can finally lay on your back. Going to your bathroom to clean himself up after discard the used condom. His underwear on when he was back, eyes avoiding yours.

You sigh, feeling dirty once again as you watch him go straight to his phone.

_ Can you not do this in front of me? — no reply. Eyes still looking down, jaw clenched. Fuck, you feel so ridiculous when he acts like that after fucking you. — Just... don't ever call me again.

Jacob finally looks up from his phone, eyebrows cocked up.

_ Is that what you want?

Your brows furrow.

_ Is that what I want!? — you didn't mean to sound that offended, but you just can help it. Sitting on your bed to stare back at him, using the pillow to cover your naked body. — I want us to end whatever we have. Let's stop doing that. — you said quietly, face blank as you watch him type something in his phone again, probably texting her back. Lying through his teeth again. — I'm done.

_ Okay. — that's all he mutters, fixing his pants and wearing his hoodie again. Hands grabbing his keys and tilting his head while staring back at you. You don't know if he was expecting something as he did that, but you couldn't even care about how your naked self looked ridiculous at that moment as you stared back at him. But you didn't move. He did. Taking large steps to your room's door, stopping when you open your mouth again, your voice breaking.

_ If you leave me now then we're really done.

The boy sighs.

_ That's what you say every time.

Jacob holds a cold expression when he stares back at you once again. He doesn't look nothing like the guy you met. The bright, innocent wide eyes and shy aura now replaced by something cold, stoic. Something that easily made you feel ugly and like you didn't deserve anything better than what he could give you.

_ I mean it.

He humphs, nails scrapping your door with annoyance.

_ Sure, honey. I'll be here tomorrow when you're too damn needy to keep all your promises.

That is the last thing Jacob says before closing the door and leaving you alone in your room.

[briarrosescurse]

(dances) 📖 what if, idol au 4 all ur beebs

i may know shit abt idols and how everything works BUT id die on a hill for this au (dances with u)

also pls dont mind my inner kpoppie coming out, my bias for certain styles is rlly shining through... IM ALSO NO EXPERT, SO DONT JUDGE ME

idols au

roza: she is in an unit but occasionally releases single albums due to her astounding popularity! roza follows usually girl crush concepts or concepts focused around love (including heartbreak) but her fans also adore it when she deviates from that and takes another turn - for example, in their latest comebacks (and roza’s solo), their concepts changed more into self-love!

despite that, people are so surprised to find out how much of a playful sweetheart she actually is. due to her clueless but entertaining personality, people love seeing her in interviews or shows.

roza is vocally quite strong and is usually praised for her range. she definitely has room for improvement in the dance apartment, but in her unit, she is the main vocalist. other people would consider her to be the visual alongside with another member.

examples would be; blackpink and mamamoo but as well as heize and iu

xiang: this man works as a solo idol and he is known for his more mature, sensual and sometimes rather explicit concepts. his albums are always a... sight to behold, honestly. let’s just say, they follow rather risque ideas - but hey, the producers and managers can’t complain, he’s bringing in the cash.

xiang is most definitely a more visual and dance heavy idol - his good looks attract attention and not to mention his build allows for some rather unique wardrobe choices. fancams of those love to go viral and they make people’s jaws drop.

other than that, he is actually excelling quite well at demanding dances - people like to praise him for keeping up a great vocal performance despite the difficult dances.

compared to actor au, however, he is viewed with a much more critical eye; xiang’s bold and doesn’t hold back his tongue, after all. not to mention, his fans grow quite jealous of him being possibly involved in love affairs.

if i had to give examples of the type of music he’d have, i’d say... wonho - it’s exactly what i imagine for xiang. other than that, i’d add taemin, nct or vixx

theodor: sweet lil’ theo is in an unit! his height brings him a bit at an disadvantage but his vocal abilities are very outstanding for that. he very much fits in more cheerful and crush themes - people eat that shit up and think his unit’s eras with those concepts is where he shines.

people love to gift him plushies of alpacas or llamas during fanmeets. he keeps every single one of them and the amount of photos that he posts of them with himself is astounding - not to mention during the fanmeets, you can see him hugging them for almost the whole duration.

watching the dance practices is usually pretty fun because you can see theodor making funny faces; he always brings a lot of sunshine with that cute face of his into the room and that makes him a huuuuge fan favorite for the stans of his group.

examples would be: shinee and got7

balgair: ASSUMING balgair would be in stagrove as a sort of. subunit? OR AT LEAST in a group with a similar style. i’d say he is definitely a dance heavy idol. most likely lead dancer AT LEAST. i think of like... very on point and synchronized. definitely also pretty rebellious and bad boy concepts going on.

like i said, i'd deem balgair to be a lead dancer - people would say he is rather underappreciated and deserves a lot more recognition. they also complain about the lack of his lines. but further than that, balgair's got a very charming and charismatic character - he only lets his mischievous side show during shows or interviews. he also appears to be fluent in a few foreign languages, so international fans always joke about him having a secret account to see what content the fans produce for him.

during fanmeets people LOVE talking to him, just because of how extroverted and friendly he is. they also comment on how, close up, you can really notice his unique fox-like face structures.

examples: nct and block b

chloe: she's a rather more 'unknown' idol, if you are not part of the community, but still has a certain reputation. as a solo artist, she goes against the typical girl crush concept and follows something more gender stereotype breaking.

she's very heavy on the vocal parts and also is praised for her pretty face, despite the lack of facial expressions she shows during lives or interviews. however, according to her fans, the longer you follow her and her content, the more you realize she's just a very awkward girl, bad at expressing her feelings - but that's what makes her so loveable.

she isn't the most actice idol, thus comebacks are rather not frequent for her, but you can very often see ads where she participates.

examples: moonbyul

madeline: good ol' maddy is the visual of his group. his vocal range is outstanding, but he is only considered as the lead vocal in his unit. he's another one where people like to say that his dancing leaves room for improvement; it's an inside joke in his fanbase that he is stiff like a log during dance practice.

madeline was formerly just an actor before he switched branches. his fanbase carried over as well, so he already made a name for himself. people did enjoy watching his growth, though; at first, it was hard for him getting used to teamwork, as he appeared to see it all as a competition instead of a group project, thus he was rather hostile in his trainee days. but he grew and developed and his fanbase really enjoys pointing that out about him.

his concepts are often a bit more on the emotional side; showing a rather vulnerable side of love, so to say. other than, his concepts are a lot more 'artsy' and tend to carry a convoluted plotline throughout the album. it's unusual, but certainly unique.

examples: bts and exo

briar: and lastly! our pricky prick himself! briar is one of the unexpectedly older idols but for that he is pretty much a talent in all fields - dancing, singing and even his visuals are nothing to complain about. he is a bit more... controversial, so to say? a lot of multistans think he is rather arrogant and really unfriendly - while they recognize his talent, they are critical of his attitude.

his concepts are varying, but it's usually also more of a bad boy and mature theme. his dance routines are fun to watch. sometimes, behind the scenes, you can see him teaching other members or helping them out. it's not too unusual for people to believe he is the leader of the unit.

examples: nu'est and 2pm

[bang-me-bangtan-style]

fucking with joshua | 10

paring: Hong Jisoo / Joshua x reader

genre: smut, innocence, corruption, sexual predator, seducing, going against morals

summary: A recorded list of incidents of you corrupting the innocent Hong Jisoo.

notes: this series is based on a predatory OC don’t read if your not into that or are against. you’ve been warned.

UNEDITED! But enjoy 😉

concert rehearsals #2

"Bro did you take a shit?" Minghao said when you stood at his side again. Nu'est t was on stage about to do their rehearsal.

"No!" You hit him. He laughed. Well you took a long ass fucking time. He eyed you. you instantly thinking he knew. Your sub- Conscience getting to you.

"Well damn were you counting the minutes until I got back?" Minghao rolled his eyes and you laughed. "What it seems like it."

nuest get their mics on.

You searched the crowed for Joshua and when your eyes connected it was like the world was in slow motion. Everything seemed so irrelevant when it came to him. You shyly looked away remembering what just happened. And you became nervous as you remember you were staying the night with him.

"So I was thinking we could watch another movie in my room tonight if your up for it minghao smiled. Joshua flooded in your mind again. You couldn't cancel on him-

"I can't I'm super tired, I think I rather rest tonight cos I'm dragging today I feel like I'm about to kill over and die," you exaggerated. Which was true you were tired but you weren't that tired.

You wanted to tell him that you had talked to Joshua but another part of you told yourself not to do so you didn't want to get a lecture from minghao to tell him again. You were going to tell him but on your time you knew it was long over do and dragged out but that was besides the point the pint was, was that you needed some time and you were afraid of losing Joshua if he ever found out. It was kind of selfish but it was the truth. The complete truth.

"Okay, that's fine I'm tired too," then why did you want to what a movie? "Minghao looked up and nu'est began their song.

"Because I just wanted to spend time with you," minghao confessed. You eyed him as nuest rung in your ears.

"We can tomorrow night if you want,"

he smiled,"okay that sounds great."

He sighed and stretched his body out. "Rehearsals are going to take forever as we go through the whole show. All I want to do is lay down," You looked around, the pristin members were scattered and some were laying on the floor talking or sleeping.

"Look," he looked over across the room following your head gesture, "pristin, why don't you do what they are?" Minghao looked and felt relived.

"Yes, I should do that." Minghao dropped to his knees laying his body on the floor. You decided to do the same but not sleep- but watch the rehearsals. You couldn't miss a moment because you wanted to take in the whole process of getting ready for the show. This was your first concert- verses minghao who has done this a million times he wasn't missing out on anything in particular.

You laid on minghaos back when he found himself laying on his stomach.

"Okay next song," director-nim said," trama- rap unit."

Minghao had passed out. So you just sat and watched the next coming  songs

"Pristin v"

The singing unit finished and got off stage minutes passed before the director called up the next stage.

You shook minghao as the director called the performance team to the stage. Minghao groaned and you eyed him as he looked...sexy like that. Mmm.

Hail down hoe. You thought.

Minghao got up and you moved ending up crossed legged on the floor. He groggily walked towards the stage Dino jun and Hoshi coming from all sides too minghao put his hands through his hair and shook it a little.

They got into place and minghao put his game face on despite him just waking up.

Umack chusaeyo"

You always loved the performance team.

"Okay let's go ahead and do thanks."

The rest of seventeen made their way up to the stage.

The rest of the day went well you had gone through the whole show tomorrow everyone had to dress up and act like it was the actual show (expect more video skip them is you don't wanna watch them but it's part of the story)

Everyone exited some stayed behind and asked questions but  your ass bolted out the stadium . You went with pristin in their van and took your ass back to the hotel. You were so tired you didn't want to stay any longer.

You needed some rest before going to Joshua's later. You said good bye as you you and pristin went your separate ways and you got your card key out. Seventeen had just arrived on the floor and you hurried into your room before any one of them spotted you.

With your back pressed again the door you sighed in the dark room. It was now late and the sun was going down. It was close to eight and you were ready for this trip to be over so you could go back home and use your own bed again.

You threw your bag on on the floor next to the door and took your shoes off not bothering by taking anything else off you popped in the hotel bed and past out.

- There was a noise in the background of your dream. You were running through a forest, running away from something. You had anxiety, and panic filled your system- but you didn't know what you were running from.

Again a phone text message sound filled your mind. Confusing you as you ran. You tripped as you looked back and you jolted awake before you could see what was trying to get you it almost grabbing you.

You moved around in the bed moving your head side to side while your eyes were still closed you eyebrows knitted together before you opened them. looking around at a pitch black room you suddenly remembered- Shit you slept for a long ass time didn't you? You had somewhere to be.

Your phone- the sound that you heard in your dream rang again. You reached for it and seen Joshua had called you and texted you.

3:05 am

Shit.

You were supposed to meet him at 12:00 am

You hurried and got out of bed brushing your teeth and trying to look decent and not like you weren't running through the woods in your dream.

Your heart beat extremely fast and you thought about being alone sleeping with him.

You grabbed your phone and card key and slowly looked out the room not wanting to run into anyone. You peeled your head out looking down both sides of the long elegant fancy hallway.

The ghost was clear.

You ran out down the hallway getting in the elevator. Joshua was on the next floor up. Pledis rented out two whole floors in the hotel. Minghao however was on your floor. And unfortunately so was mingyu.

You pushed the next floor up and rode the elevator for a split second. The doors opened and you looked up. Joshua was on the other side. His hair pushed back and phone in hand. You stared at another and when the doors closed Joshua put his arm from keeping them from closing.

You jumped out of your trance and you titled your head to the side. He smirked and held out his other hand. You slowly took it and he intertwined your fingers together. You began walked down the hallway the elevator closing behind you both.

Him here and you like this it felt so right. It was like a dream. There was a lot of ups and down with him but it had been worth it. He was definitely worth all the emotional turmoil you went through.

You smiled to your self thinking. You felt so lucky right now.

"What?" He said looking at your smiling side profile.

You shook your head feeling silly and childish for your cotton like feelings, "this just feels good that's all," you said looking back him. He smirked and you melted. He squeezed your hand and continued to walk with you.

His room was all the way at the other end of the hall. He put the key in and when you opened it it was dimmer lighting it up just a little. He let you enter first him following in after you.

He shit the door and locked it it echoing outside the room and in the hallway. He lean his back against the door and smiled at you. You squirmed under his intense gaze and you broke the eye contact first. He made you nervous. This made you -

He grabbed your hand again him leading you to the bed. You swallowed a big lump in your throat. Why were you nervous you're the one that made him nervous. Was it because he was acting out of the norm?

He pushed you down on the bed and you slowly layed down your hair fanning around you. He put his hand on your face and gently kissed you. With his knee he pushed your legs open and got in between them. With one hand on your neck and the other on your hip he started to make out with you. Gently sweetly addictingly.

The taste of him was always so Enticing.

You responded. Gently of course. And moaned when he pushed himself into you. Him making you feel every part of him that wanted you.

This was bliss this was what you wanted this was everything. You couldn't deny that you loved Joshua. Joshua was everything to you. With or without the sex. The silly game that you had up your sleeve had the opposite effect you wanted. He played you. Not the other way around. The player lost its own fucking game.

Joshua did that kind of shit.

He broke the kiss. And hovered over you. He just starred at you. His kisses lingering on your lips. You wanting them again.

A second passed with heavy breathing. And flusters cheeks. Him looking at you with those hooded eyes was dangerous for you more than for him.

"Do what you want with me," he whispered finally as if he had come to an final decision.

You eyes could have rolled in the back of your head with him saying things like that. He was really tempting you. You had switched roles and you wondered how the fuck it happened, who was seducing who again?

You could have just came alone with just those words.

You stared at him holding in your new found excitement. A willing submissive Joshua.

You grabbed him back to you holding both his hips to yours as you rolled them around against them. In a slow gently motion.

He moaned into your mouth and kissed you down your jaw.  He found your neck and you quickly stopped and arched your back. He smiled against your skin and you hated that he knew your weakest spots.

Again your hands on his hips forced him to push himself into your core. You wanted to feel him. Every part of him.

He had his hands above you head rubbing your forehead, guiding his hands through your long silky hair.

He breathed you in. His eyes brows knitting together out of satisfaction before finding your lips again. You didn't even need to have sex. Just doing this with Joshua was satisfying enough.  Whatever he gave was always enough until you craved more.

You had waited forever to be this close to him. You had been through a lot just to get to this point. You broke the kiss and kissed him down his neck this time earning a manly sexy groan from him.

God did Joshua know what he was getting himself into. That you would suck out his innocence, literally?

He was in for one.

He didn't know what he had done.

You rolled him over so that you were on top of him he didn't know what to do so his hands were awkwardly in the air as he didn't know where to put them as you took control. You pulled them above his head intertwining his fingers with yours as you moved your hips on him and kissed him.

It was a sexy sight to see.

He was so hard you bet it hurt. It was time to blow his first load. You didn't know how he lasted all these years with out anything sexual. To think that he never came before and you were able to do that for him made you into a monster.

An addict

An fucking with Joshua addict.

As he breathed into the poison that was you, you leg go of his hands and made your way down south. Kissing him along the way in every place you could kiss. You looked up at him his eyes hooded as you stopped at the end of his sweatpants. His breath bitching him awaiting his invitation to your hell.

He laid his head down and waited for what was to happen next.

You pulled the waistband down a little and kissed him on his hip bone earning and cry from him you tugged them down some more and kissed his v line. He had his hands in the air again about to lose control. He was sensitive there and you knew it.

Finally you pulled his pants all the way down and off his feet. And threw them bitches to the floor his cock sprinted up and stood tall. God, he was massive and all you could think about was deepthroating him.

With his cock exposed to your eyes you looked past it while sitting on your knees. You sat in between his legs and waited for him to lift his head up and look at you. When he did you said, "tell me you want it," You sinisterly said. He didn't say anything and you challenged him.

Finally he said, I want it,"

"Are you sure?"

"Im sure,"

"Sure of what?"

He breathed sexy and blinked slowly, I want you to suck my cock,"

"You want me to what?" you feeling exciting talking like that.

"I want my cock in your mouth,baby" he breathed barely holding on.

You lost control that's all you needed.

You grabbed him and he moaned and withered at you command you now had control over him.

You got him. Right where you wanted him.

You licked the tip before you unexpectedly took him in your mouth. He cried out and it was like music to your ears. He tasted so good.

With your hand on his shaft and your mouth at the top you found a rhythm as you mouth fucked him. All Joshua could do was moan and grab your hair he experienced nothing like this before and was losing all control. You would be surprised if he would bust in your mouth quickly which would be okay.

Anything for him. You had all the time in the world to do everything eles.

"Mmmmm," he moaned as you deepthroated him. You sensually and slowly let up and kissed his cock. You watched him his face red and in distress as he tried to fight you from making him come so soon.

"Baby it feels so good-"

"Come for me then,"

"I don't want to yet." He said.

"Enjoy this we have all the time in the world baby." You said before you found him in your mouth again. He tangled your hands in your hair and helped you suck the fuck out of him , him surrendering to you completely this was it there was no going back now one he came it was it and it was over he wouldn't be pure. He would be your sinful boy.

As you flatted your tongue you upend your mouth more for his well endowed manhood. He took control moving in circles fucking your mouth as he tried to find his relief.

His breathing was so harsh and short as he tried to find himself in you.

It was amazing how he was so innocent but quickly caught on he knew what he liked and didn't like already and you love it.

You let go him piping out your mouth you killing his orgasm him moaning in distress. A string of saliva connected at the tip of his cock to your mouth. When you pumped him with your hand it broke.

You stared at him as you used your hand watching his squirm Beneath your control.

"Your so sexy baby like this, it's a good look on you," you said before putting him back in your mouth. It was time to make him cum because he wouldn't be your dirty boy until you popped his innocence it flowing down your throat like you wanted it too.

You rapidly deep throated him(Mouth wide open mouth wide open mouth wide open like I was at the dentist- if you don't know those lyrics get off my profile we can't be friends lol jk) he hissed, cursed, groaned. As you worked to get him to cum again.

"Oh baby," He whined.

You popped him and licked him from the base to the shaft before pulling him back in your mouth again.

He was so sexually frustrated he started mouth fucking you again. God your baby wanted it so bad. The way he rolled his hips in circles really got you wet. He mouth fucked you harder- "Oh fuck," he breathed at the same time a fat ass load shot down your throat. Popping the innocence of what was Hong Joshua.

[dougiewonderland]

JR (Jonghyun) // New Year, New Me

Request: Hello again 🙈 I couldn’t help myself so I am going to request something with JR (because he is the loml)🥺💕 New Year’s Eve maybe, something cute? Thank you so much uwu🥰

Word Count: 1504

A/N: I hope you like this hun!  I hope it’s not too “generic New Year’s” - if it is I can write another for you!

A/N 2: What the heck happened?  Tumblr freaked and posted this to the wrong blog even though I chose the right one so here it is.  Sorry for the mix up!

Warnings: slight swearing? There’s like two or three swear words in this, not much. It’s meant to be pure fluff though

---

You for one were never much for parties - or much socialization in general, really. Often the most social interaction you’d get in a day is digitally, and being NU'EST’s social media manager meant you did that a lot.

Yet, here you were at Pledis’s New Year’s party trying to put on a happy face for your colleagues and the many idols and managers milling about. You’re standing against the wall next to the refreshments watching the many bodies talk and dance when you hear a familiar voice snap you out of your trance.

“Hey, Y/N! How are you enjoying your time with the refreshment table?” your friend and NU'EST member, Aron, jokes at you. When you started working together, you gravitated towards him as someone you could speak English to and became fast friends. He knew you more than anyone else at Pledis did, or even in Korea really, so he knew you weren’t one for extravagant parties like this one. “Real funny. I’m actually enjoying it quite a bit, thank you for asking,” you retort, hoping that your answer satisfies him enough to stop ribbing you. “Nonsense. Come hang out with me and the rest of the boys! We’re just lingering in the other corner talking about our holidays,” he says, already dragging you in that direction.

Now don’t get it wrong, you loved Aron and the rest of the boys. You just didn’t want to be so close to…him. And on New Year’s when the tradition is to kiss someone to ring in the new year? You’d rather not feel that awkward. Luckily, Aron didn’t know of your crush on his fellow member and leader. But now it was too late to back out, as the rest of the boys see you coming over and excitedly wave at you.

“Hi, noona!” they all say in unison, happy to see you actually turned up. “How are you? We haven’t seen you since before Christmas. What’s new with you?” JR asks, knowing you didn’t fly home and hoping you spent the holidays with someone. “I’m doing well. Just been enjoying the time off and the peace and quiet,” you say, trying to hide your loneliness during the holidays. You’ve enjoyed being able to stay at home in your pajamas all day, and you video chatted your family during the holidays, but there was obviously a part of you that wanted to spend it with someone - it was your first holiday season away from home and you took it harder than you thought. And unfortunately, JR sees right through you as a small frown crosses his lips and he nods sympathetically. “Well you’re not escaping us for this holiday! We’re going to ring in the new year together. Also you look great, by the way,” JR compliments. If you didn’t know better, you would’ve thought he blushed at that second part. “Thank you. You look great, too! You all look handsome,” you tell the boys. And they did look dashing - they always did. You look up to see JR looking at you, making you blush and look away. ‘Why is he being like this?’ you ask yourself. He’s never been so attentive to you, not like this. Well, he always has been, but the same amount as he is to the other members. But what you didn’t know was that in all your efforts to avoid staring at him the last few months, you missed all the times he stole glances at you. And while you didn’t notice, the boys definitely did, and they made it their personal goal to at least try and make you notice him. And boy did you notice him - it took the other four boys giggling like schoolgirls for you to realize you and JR had been staring at each other for a while now, lost in your own thoughts.

Once you snap out of thought and realize your situation, you excuse yourself to go to the restroom and freshen up. Just as you think you’ve escaped the awkwardness that just happened by turning down an unoccupied hallway, you hear someone behind you.

“How long?” the voice asks. You don’t have to turn around to know it’s Aron, and he doesn’t sound pleased. ‘Shit, he knows,’ you think to yourself. Exhaling a sigh, you turn around to see Aron with his arms crossed like a mother who caught their kid out past curfew. “What do you mean?” you try asking in the most oblivious voice you can muster. “You stared at him for over 2 minutes, don’t act like you don’t know what I mean.” “I just spaced out in thought and that happened to be the direction I spaced out in, that’s all,” your voice cracks. Fuck, your body is betraying you now, too. “Look, I’m not mad that you like him, I’m just disappointed you didn’t tell me. And frankly, this whole thing could’ve been resolved sooner if you told me.” Aron looks at you with an eyebrow cocked. “What is that supposed to mean?” you question, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. “Have you not noticed? Heck, I think even PD-nim knows by now. He’s absolutely head over heels for you. He’s really not subtle about it either, even though he tries to be,” Aron explains, baffled by your obliviousness to the situation. “So I ask again. How long?” “Uhh… I think about 5 months now?” you confess. You’re not entirely sure when you really started liking JR. You just know you saw him at the company building one day and your heart wanted to give out. “Well now’s your chance. He can be forward, but you know he’d never make the first move. Now come on, let’s go back to everyone before they start looking for us, plus it’s almost midnight.”

You two head back into the party, getting glances from some of your coworkers as you enter.  The boys give you a look as you approach, though you have no clue what the look means.

“You okay, Y/N?” Ren asks with a knowing look in his eye. ‘My goodness, does everyone know?’ you sigh to yourself.  “Yeah, I’m okay, just getting a bit overwhelmed. “Let’s go outside and get some fresh air, that should help you feel better,” JR suggests.  You nod, looking at the rest of the boys. “You guys go ahead, we’ll be right out,” Aron says, sending you a wink before turning to the others for their silent approval.  The rest of the boys nod in agreement, waving at you and JR as you two head towards the exit.

“Actually, I have a better idea,” JR says, leading you to the elevator.  “It’s a little bit of a climb though, I hope you don’t mind.” “That’s fine, you seem like you know what you’re doing,” you smile up at him.  What you didn’t know what that your smile at him - because of him - made his heart skip a beat.  Heck, he could’ve sworn his heart stopped.  As he’s about to say something, the elevator dings, indicating you’ve reached your destination.  He leads you to a dark stairwell in a corner of the floor, letting you go first as you two ascend towards the top.

When you open the door at the top of the stairs, you realize you’re on the roof, looking over all of Seoul.  “It’s beautiful,” you gasp, mesmerized by the view of the city.

“I figured you’d like it up here.  Plus we can see the fireworks when it turns midnight, which should be…any time now,” he says as he looks at his phone to see the time.  You nod happily, looking back out over the city.

You two enjoy the view for the next few minutes when you suddenly hear cheering, then see the first shots of fireworks set off.  You watch in awe for a second until you hear your name.

“Hey, Y/N?” JR says, looking at you intensely. “Hmm?” you inquire, still looking out at the fireworks.  You almost ask him again what he wants, until you feel a hand on your chin pulling your face over to face him.  Before you can ask what he’s doing, you feel his lips on yours.  You stare at him for a second before closing your eyes and leaning into the kiss.  Just as you two pull away, you hear cheering and clapping behind you. “Yaaah~ you said you’d leave us alone!” JR pouts, hiding his heavily blushing face from you and the rest of the NU’EST. “Hey, it’s not our fault it took you so long to make a move!  We thought you’d have finished your moment by now,” Ren retorts.  You chuckle, looking at JR with a smile before turning back to the fireworks firing off towards the other side of the city.  At least your year was starting off on a good foot, you just hoped this was a good sign for the rest of your year to come.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Flutter

Prompt: #53 for anon – “Why do you hate me?”

Anonymous said:

Hello! Can I request a drabble for Baekho? #53 “Why do you hate me?” If you can find a way to make it a royalty au of some sort, I would melt but if you have another idea that makes more sense or sounds more fun, don't listen to me! Thank you! - Nu'est anon)

Pairing: Kang Dongho x reader

Genre: royal au / romance / friends to lovers

Warnings: none

Word count: 954

Glancing across the room, you smiled graciously at the man against the wall, though he did not return the gesture. It disgruntled you momentarily, scrunching your face up as you rolled your eyes in an otherwise silent protest. He merely pointed to your company and with a sigh, you spun back to the Baron and Baroness and pasted on another smile.

This one didn’t reach right up to your eyes as your last had.

Being the only princess in a royal family with three princes was often a burden. You had no stake in the throne, not that you had ever desired for such a thing. Whilst you were strong-willed, it wasn’t something you wished to harness for the greater good of your nation. Call you selfish all they may, but you only dreamed of the removal of status entirely. You wished to retire from the public role of playing dress up for countless state dinners, functions and other politically fuelled events of the royal court. You wanted to roam as free as the butterflies did out in the pasture, to fly as high as you could and see the world without the shackles of acting proper and keeping to timely order. Now that you were no longer a child, your ability to ask for play had been revoked. Your mornings were full of learning, not that you were ever to be expected as intelligent, instead, quaint. Your afternoons spent improving your skills, such as tapestry, sewing, and dance. Once a week you would be fortunate enough to have a ride out across the moors, and only on those excursions did you ever feel as if the wind could tousle your hair enough and have the excuse for it.

“My dear, are you quite alright?” the baroness asked and you nodded, composing yourself to answer as you always did. A princess must always be diplomatic and prompt with a response.

“Of course, I was just contemplating the idea of starting a new quilt. The colder season will arrive soon and I know my father quite enjoys sitting in his study late into the evening.”

Everyone marvelled over your avid affection of the King.

You hadn’t once been thinking of making the quilt for him. Though you were planning on making it for someone else. Your eyes slipped to the wall again, growing perplexed when the man who stood there previously was now nowhere in sight. It unsettled you, made you uncomfortable to remain standing there talking pleasantries and faking an interest in the lives of these people. When it was possible to retire from the party, you took your farewell effortlessly, dashing out into the foyer of the grand hall and then through to servants quarters. You didn’t even stop to knock when you entered his bedroom, the man within spinning around to see you.

And you darted your eyes immediately to the wall. “Oh… well, I was not expecting such an exhibition.”

“Nor was I aware I would be in company tonight, Princess.”

You grumbled, uncaring of his shirtless predicament and stared back at the man before you with hard eyes. “Must you refer to me as my title? Dongho, I do not know how many times I have asked you to call me by my name. In the very least, you should follow this request when it is just us two.”

“The walls may be made of stone, my lady, but I assure you they have ears.”

You ducked as if they had eyes as well, shifting closer to hiss at Dongho. “Why did you leave?!”

“Must I stay and endure such a boring spectacle all night long?”

You stomped your foot in petulance. “Yet you leave me to suffer.”

“I am not the Princess of this nation.”

“No, but you are my bodyguard, Dongho. What will of you if I had been harmed?”

“By what? Another piece of fruitcake conveniently dropped by the baroness in hopes to ruin this gorgeous dress you wear?”

“I’ll have you know when she dropped it on my foot last time, it felt as if a rock had fallen upon it!”

You giggled together, a simple reaction yet it meant everything to you. For a moment, your status was removed and you were back to the friends who had grown up playing together out in the pasture chasing butterflies. As soon as the happy sound ceased, you fell back into your roles, you of a princess and he of a guard.

You sighed. “Why do you hate me?”

“That’s an odd thing to accuse me of,” he mused, giving you a quizzical look. “Tell me of a time where I’ve shown you any emotion deserving of the title hatred.”

“Then, are you jealous?”

“Ardently.”

“Of?”

“The suitors who come to greet you these days.”

“You’re truly jealous?” you repeated, a small smile curling up your lips with delight. Dongho heaved a deep breath before placing his index finger in the middle of your forehead and pushing you gently. “Must you look so wicked?”

“I must. It is not every day that you show me signs.”

“Signs? Of jealousy?” he wondered and you shook your head, reaching up to sling your arms around his neck. Dongho visibly flinched but he did nothing to undrape you from around him either.

“Of love. I wondered if you hated me but now I realise it’s far from that emotion.”

“Y/N, you know this will be forbidden.”

You nodded, shifting closer. “Much like everything is to me. Allow me these moments.”

“As your guard, is this a request I must follow?”

“As my best friend, this is a confession I hope you will treasure.”

Dongho smiled, drawing you in closer. “Always.”

_________________

All rights reserved © prettywordsyouleft

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[theworldofsisi]

Pretty (Finding Balance)

“You're too pretty, Ren-ah.” the director's tone was harsh as he broke the news to the newest trainee under Pledis Entertainment. “You look feminine. You don't have very many muscles either, but I like your voice.” He grabbed Ren's face carefully, studying the young male's angular jaw line.

Ren bit back the remark that came to mind, instead meeting the CEO's gaze levelly. His low voice came out surprisingly calm despite the fact that he felt like all of the comments being made about him were thinly veiled insults and not simple observations. "I've always looked like this. I was made fun of for it in school because I didn't look as boyish as other kids my age.”

“Mhm.” was all that the director said in response as he took a step back away from his trainee. “We might be able to work with your natural feminine features in that case. Your androgynous appearance might just be what sets you apart from the other four members. Hell, we can even try to make it your trademark. Think of yourself as the opposite of Amber Liu from f(x)”

Ren raised a questioning eyebrow. “Didn't you just tell me that I was “too” feminine? Now you're talking about using it to my advantage?”

The CEO gave him an appraising look. “You're much more feminine than the other members, yes. Have you seen Baekho? He's about as masculine looking as you can get. You, on the other hand, are on the other end of the spectrum.”

Ren dug his heels into the ground to prevent himself from saying something that could quite possibly get him kicked out of the company. The CEO's seemingly inconsistent opinions were making his head hurt.“Are you okay with how I look or not?”

“Frankly, no. But we can make it work is what I'm getting at. We'll make your weakness your strength. You've just got to promise to do whatever I say. For all we know you might even start liking it.”

Choi Mink laughed harshly under his breath from the living room of Nu'Est's living room as he thought back to his trainee days when he had been told that the androgynous concept would suit his natural appearance the best. The CEO had been right - after awhile, the concept had grown on him and given him a sense of confidence and freedom that he had never felt before. It had been invigorating until the comments about his gender had started.

At first, they didn't bother him. Really, they didn't, at least that's what he made himself believe. He had tough skin and had learned to not let things get to him - when you were in the spotlight you were always going to have people who loved and hated you - there was simply no way around it.

He was usually pretty damn good at not letting people hurt his feelings - his manager had later warned him that he could expect some degree of heat from conservative people who watched the band, but Ren would have to learn how to ignore them. However as he logged onto his twitter account and checked his mentions, his face slowly contorted in annoyance.

The comments were on a selfie that he had posted with Baekho. Ren had recently dyed his hair back to its natural black and gotten long extensions down to his shoulders. People were talking about how manly Baekho looked compared to Ren - something that the maknae was used to by now. What he wasn't used to were the questions about whether or not that he had undergone a sex change and was secretly a woman.

He was a man. How he chose to look didn't affect his gender - fashion didn't make the person wearing it. He was simply taking a style and breaking cultural norms - that was his choice and his charm. Ren still believed that strongly, but as he continued reading, he felt his annoyance growing into genuine anger. One particularly rude comment stuck out to the twenty-year-old and his gaze narrowed as he read the words aloud, his voice barely louder than a hiss.

'Ren didn't have a sex change. I think it should be obvious to everyone that he's just a transvestite. I mean, look at the pictures of him wearing a skirt - he's basically embodying the definition of a transvestite. I think the sex change is probable in his near future, but not right now while Nu'Est is still together. I think when they disband he'll transition. This is just my opinion, though.'

Ren slammed his laptop closed and barely managed to stop himself from throwing it across the room. Instead, he sat it down on the floor beside him and rested his chin on his knees, glaring at the white carpet. It wasn't long before he felt a hand on his shoulder and heard Nu'Est's oldest member, Aron, talking from the couch behind him. “Minki? Why are you mad all of the sudden?”

Shrugging the hand off of his shoulder, Ren shook his head and refused to answer. Aron slid off of the couch and into the floor beside him. “Ren,” he said firmly. The maknae still refused to acknowledge him. Frustrated, Aron began tickling Ren's sides - something that the youngest member absolutely despised.

Ren began laughing hysterically against his will. He swatted Aron's hand away but still the oldest member kept up his relentless attack on Ren's sides. Normally Ren would have started a playful wrestling match with his hyung, but today he was not in a mood to be messed with. “STOP!” he yelled suddenly, startling both himself and Aron.

Aron ceased tickling the clearly pissed off member and stared at him with eyebrows raised. Ren stood up quickly and turned his back to Aron. “I'm going to go see Seong-Un. Don't wait up.” The maknae knew that he was only angry with Aron because he didn't want to admit that being made fun of him had gotten to him. He made a mental note to apologize to his hyung for his outburst after he had calmed himself down.

He knew that he would feel better as soon as he went to see his girlfriend, Seong. The two had been dating since before Nu'Est's debut - before Ren had changed his image for the band. Seong-Un had never seemed to have a problem with how Ren now looked. That had made him realize that her love for him was more than skin deep - she loved him for who he was underneath all of the makeup and clothing.

Ren had taken careful precautions to keep their relationship out of the media - he had seen many relationships torn apart due to comments from jealous fans or news reporters who liked to twist people's words. Even then, he knew that Seong still had social media accounts and followed him on them - she was just as exposed to the comments about him as he was. His biggest fear was that Seong would read some of the absurd comments about him and actually make the mistake of believing them.

So far that had not happened and Seong had repeatedly assured Ren that it wouldn't. He had started to believe her despite his better judgment telling him that there was no way that Seong could be so sure. She had never lived in the limelight - she really had no clue how things worked.

Ren shook his head to clear away the negative thoughts and gave Aron one last apologetic look. Or at least he hoped that it looked apologetic - with his current mood, he wasn't sure if he could control the sullen expression that was surely on his face.

With a final sigh of defeat, Ren turned on his heels and walked out of the Nu'Est dorm past curious managers. He gave them an excuse of going for a walk for some fresh air, but the manager hyungs knew exactly where their charge was going. They just simply chose not to comment on it to give Ren some sort of privacy - they were all too aware that the poor kid already ha a deficit of that.

Luckily Seong's apartment was just within walking distance of Nu'Est's dorm so Ren didn't have too far to travel. It was slightly chilly outside the dorm and Ren considered going back and grabbing his jacket, but knew that he would run the risk of bumping into one of the other four members - he didn't feel like explaining himself to them either.

Ren started his walk with a deep sigh, taking the familiar path to Seong's apartment. He'd made the same walk more times than he could count in the last few years and knowing the way had become second nature to him.

Luckily it was fairly late so there were few cars and people around - less risk of him getting caught by an overly curious fan or reporter. He was glad for that even though any other day he wouldn't have minded stopping for a quick picture or autograph.

Before long, he found himself at the door to Seong's apartment. He knocked on the door gently and waited. He could hear movement across the hardwood floor and knew that she was on her way. A few seconds later the handle jingled and the door was opened, allowing a pajama-clad Seong to come into Ren's view. “Seong-ah,” he mumbled and pulled her against his chest before resting his chin on top of her head. “I missed you.”

“You saw me this morning, Minki.” She said but smiled nonetheless and returned his hug. “Come inside - I'm freezing.”

Ren followed Seong into the living room and shut the door behind him. The spicy sweet scent of cinnamon vanilla wafted up to his nose and he smiled, instantly feeling more relaxed. That was Seong's signature scent - her house always smelled like a mix of those two fragrances and Ren loved it.

When he stopped sniffing the air and focused his gaze on his girlfriend once again, he noticed that her eyes were glazed over and her hair slightly disheveled. “Oh no.. you weren't asleep, were you?”

Seong nodded her head. “I was. But not for very long, so it's okay. But why are you here, Minki? It's almost ten p.m - I know that you haven't forgotten that the band has practice in the morning.”

Ren blinked and looked away, refusing to meet her gaze. “Can't I just decide to have an impromptu visit with my girlfriend?”

“Maybe. But Aron called me and warned me that something had put you into a bad mood.”

Ren's head shot up and he glared in irritation. “Damn him.”

“You don't mean that. He did it because he's worried about you and didn't want me to be unprepared when you got here this late.”

“I know,” Ren mumbled in defeat but didn't elaborate. He didn't move or speak again until Seong grabbed his hand gently and led him over to her couch. She pushed him onto it and took a seat beside him. Ren rested his head in her lap as she ran her hands through his hair, making him immediately relax.

“Minki. I know that something's bothering you. It hurts when you don't trust me enough to tell me what's going on.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“Really? Then why would you come here at ten o'clock at night, knowing good and well that you could have come tomorrow after practice?” Seong stopped stroking Ren's hair, causing the singer to roll over and stare up at her questioningly. “Nope. I'm not doing it anymore until you start talking,” she replied, as if able to read his thoughts. She knew that he loved the sensations her hands caused on his scalp - it was one of the reasons that she wondered if he was somehow a reincarnated cat. The boy loved being pet too much.

Ren pouted adorably and Seong looked away, knowing that he was trying to coerce her into ignoring that something was wrong. “I'm not giving up until you talk. We can stay up all night - I've got time, but you don't. You have to wake up for practice at eight a.m, and you know that it takes you at least an hour to fall asleep. It's almost eleven now since you've been wasting time.”

“It was just a stupid comment on twitter. I shouldn't have let it get to me, but it did. It hurt a lot more than it should have.”

“Can I see what they said?” Ren winced and rolled on his side again. He had feared that she would ask him to show her what had his emotions all wound up. He'd been expecting it, but he still hadn't been prepared for the little sting in his heart that the thought of reliving it caused. He was almost ready to tell her no when he felt her running her hands through his hair again, instantly making him agree to show her the comments, despite his strong desire not to.

Ren reached into the back pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cellphone. He logged onto the twitter app with a heavy heart and went to his newsfeed. He was immediately shocked to see that the picture he had posted with Baekho had hundreds of comments now. He scrolled down, trying not to read the rest of them until his gaze fell on the one that he was looking for.

Seong reached for his phone and he gave it to her without much fight. She continued playing with his hair comfortingly as she read, her brow slowly furrowing in sadness as she read the original comment and some of its replies. Her gaze fell on a recent comment that had gotten many retweets. She was terrified of what it said, but she found herself unable to look away.

'At first, I was fine with my teenage daughter listening to this band. I had always thought that something seemed a little bit... off about Ren but never thought that he was like this. He clearly wants to be a woman, and that's not okay. God gave him the body of a man and he's trying to change that. Anyway, that's enough of my opinions. Let's just say that my child is going to have to find another group to “stan” or whatever the word for supporting a group is.. she will no longer be allowed to listen to a band that has a member who dresses like this and embodies these types of things. The last thing I need is for her to come home and ask me if she can become a man..”

Seong's breath caught in her throat as she read the last words, her hand unconsciously tangling in Ren's hair to the point that it hurt. “Seong,” he whined as he reached up and grabbed his girlfriend's wrist. “You're hurting my head.”

Coming back to her senses, she released her hold on his hair and laid his phone down on the arm of the couch. Ren sat up and ran his hand across her cheek gently, obvious concern in his eyes. “What is it?” he questioned as he reached for his phone with his free hand. Seong grabbed his hand and placed it on her shoulder before pulling the singer into a kiss.

Ren pulled back a moment later for air, eyes wide and long hair in disarray. “Now I know that something is wrong. You don't kiss me like that unless you're hoping that I won't ask questions.”

Seong flinched. He knew her too well by this point in their relationship - she couldn't lie to him anymore. With a shaking hand and regret written clearly on her face, she handed Ren his phone. He pressed the button to make the screen come to life and began reading the comment that had upset Seong so much.

Ren didn't speak immediately after finishing. He wasn't sure what to say and didn't really trust his voice. Parents were afraid that he would corrupt their children? Was how he chose to dress really that big of an impact on the younger generation? Better yet, how did his choices influence someone else's? He couldn't be blamed for children who didn't feel comfortable in their bodies - that wasn't even his case. Fashion didn't make the person wearing it.

Ren hadn't realized that he'd started shaking. Seong wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her, unsure of whether or not he was angry or trying not to cry. Ren shut his phone off and stared at the ground. He was more pissed than he had been before he had left the dorm - a complete defeat of the purpose of this visit.

“Minnie. You know that I love you, right?” The question came out of nowhere, jarring Ren out of his sullen reverie.

“Yeah. I love you too,” he replied honestly but still without lifting his gaze from the floor.

“Why are you letting it get to you, then? You know that you have the members and me who love you unconditionally. What does it matter if some people don't agree with your decisions?”

“Because this is more than people not liking me, Seong. This is apparently hurting Nu'Est's reputation. Some conservative parents are going to stop their kids from listening to our music, all because of what I look like. There's no way that something like that wouldn't get to me.”

“You still have fans who love you for who you are, Minki. What about them - do their opinions and love not matter to you as much as the negative feedback from critics?”

“I never said that.” Ren's voice had taken on an angry tone, one that Seong was not used to hearing. “The fans that support us are what keeps Nu'Est going. But what if my style keeps driving fans away, to the point that we're not selling any albums or concert tickets? What if Nu'Est fails because of me?”

“Why are you worrying so much? Has JR said anything about your appearance being an issue to the band?”

“No.”

“I thought so. Now do you trust JR as your leader?”

“Of course.”

“I'm reaching the conclusion that you're being neurotic for no reason.”

“Maybe you're right, but I can't help it. I would never forgive myself if I was the reason that all of dreams got crushed.”

“I don't think that's going to happen.” Seong leaned forward and kissed his cheek gently. “Now come on, will you at least try to relax? It's late, you look exhausted and don't have that much time left to sleep. You can stay here tonight and I'll come and watch you practice in the morning.”

Ren nodded, suddenly realizing just how tired that he was - being angry always drained him quickly. That's why he made it a habit of trying and quickly forgiving whoever had done him wrong. But tonight, he wasn't ready to let it go - he would just have to hope he had enough time to recover through sleep.

With a sigh, Ren got off the couch and held his hand out to Seong who took it and led him to her bedroom. He kicked off his shoes and took his shirt off before laying down on the soft mattress of her bed and crawling under the blankets until only his head was showing. Seong kissed the top of his head before laying down beside him and cutting off the lamp.

It was only a few moments later that she heard Ren's soft breathing and knew that he had fallen asleep. It normally took the young singer an hour, but tonight she had the feeling that he hadn't been fighting sleep as much as normal - he had been too tired and upset to have any desire to stay up.

Despite being woken up after barely having gone to bed, Seong found herself unable to sleep. She was worried about Ren - her boyfriend had long since learned not to allow himself to be hurt by what people said and had told her many times that other's opinions didn't matter to him, however, she knew that he was lying. In truth, being insulted or disrespected by anyone bothered him a lot - how could it not? They were tearing apart his dignity with questions about his gender. So what if he dressed differently from most men? That didn't change what he was underneath the clothing, did it?

She wanted to protect him but knew deep in her heart that there was nothing she could do. She couldn't even let people know that they were dating - he did that for her sake she knew, but it still hurt having to keep their relationship so well hidden.

Ren tossed in his sleep and she found herself wondering, not for the first time in their relationship, what dreams he was having. She couldn't imagine that after what had been bothering him before bed that he could be having happy dreams, but she hoped nonetheless that whatever visions his mind was playing for him were pleasant.

Seong reached out to him in the dark room, hoping that she was aiming in the right direction for his hair and wasn't about to hit him in the face. Her hand found long locks and she ran her fingers through them gently so that she didn't wake him up. After a moment she felt her eyelids getting heavy and she allowed her eyes to close as she drifted off into sleep.

"Minki, it's 8:00, you need to get up and take a shower or something to help you wake up. "

"Too tired. Don't want to go to practice."

"Aron is coming over with practice clothes, tell me what you want to wear so he knows."

Ren blinked his dark brown eyes open and focused on Seong's face as awareness slowly crept through him. "Something loose. T-shirt and gym shorts are fine."

"Alright, I'll call him. Now go and get in the shower. Your hair is sticking up everywhere."

Ren grimaced before forcing himself to climb out of Seong's warm bed and stumble groggily into the adjoining bathroom. Seconds later he had stripped out of his jeans and boxers and turned the dial of the shower to adjust the water temperature. With a sigh of effort, he managed to make his tired body cooperate enough to step into the bath and stand under the steamy water.

He almost felt himself being lulled back to sleep by the relaxing spray, but as his cheek brushed against the cold shower wall, he was jarred awake. Damn, next time Seong told him to stop wasting time, he would listen. Ren reached towards the shelf and grabbed the bottle of shampoo sitting there. It smelled like roses - Ren's least favorite scent in beauty products. With a look of distaste, he lathered it into his hair and decided that he would ask JR to lend him some of his cologne before practice. Not that it really mattered - he would smell like sweat soon enough.

It took him longer than it used to wash his hair now, the one downside of the new extensions. For a moment he found himself missing his short blonde hair but quickly crushed the longing feeling. He liked having his hair dark again - it suited his complexion, plus it was something new. If there was one thing that Ren wasn't afraid to do, it was trying new fashion trends. The length was just something he would have to get used to.

A few minutes later he had washed his body and hair and turned the water off. He felt a bit more awake, but it hadn't helped his bad mood. Ren had been trying his best to keep what he had read on twitter the previous night off his mind, but in the end, he failed and the memories crept back up on him. He hadn't been on social media since last night and was a bit scared to log back into it anytime soon.

He hated the feeling of weakness that being afraid to stand up for himself caused. He wasn't afraid to defend himself, he just wasn't allowed to. He had to keep Nu'Est's professional appearance at all costs or it would hurt the band's reputation as a whole - their personal reputations be damned. That meant that Ren basically had to put up with people disrespecting him as a person or risk getting major heat or even forced leave by the company. He didn't like the rules, but sadly, he wasn't the one who put them in place.

Ren took a deep breath and grabbed a fluffy white towel off of the rack beside the shower. He wrapped it tightly around his waist before stepping out onto the tiled floor. He grabbed another towel and attacked his long locks with it, instantly staining it a dull shade of black. The dye in his hair had stopped running in the shower, but was still prone to dying fabrics when wet. And he had used Seong's favorite towels - she had repeatedly begged him not to dry his hair using her good towels if he had recently colored his hair. With a grimace he made a mental note to buy her a new set for her upcoming birthday - she couldn't stay mad at him when he gave her ten more of the same towels, could she?

With that in mind, he quickly walked out of the stuffy bathroom and back into Seong's bedroom. A pair of blue gym shorts and a gray wife-beater were laying folded across the bed, along with the pair of white tennis shoes that he often wore to practice and a pair of ankle-length socks with his favorite character, Luffy from the anime One Piece printed on them. Ren laughed quietly at how well his hyung had thought ahead - he knew what Ren would have asked for had he been awake enough to remember everything he needed for the day. Before he started getting dressed, he quickly hid the stained towel he had used for his hair under the bed - he would explain it to Seong later.

He was dressed and sitting on the bed tying his shoes when Seong came into the room to check on him. She held out a hair-bow when he looked up and Ren smiled gratefully - there was no way in hell that he would have been able to focus with his hair constantly falling in his face and obstructing his vision. Ren frowned when he realized that he hadn't asked Aron to bring him a comb. Seong saw his look and grabbed her own brush off of the vanity. Minki winked and ran it through his hair thoroughly, wincing as it caught in the wet waves. A moment later he pulled his damp locks into a messy ponytail and glanced at himself in the vanity's mirror. He looked fine for practice, but definitely more tired than he usually did.

“Aron already went back to the dorm - everyone else is getting ready. He said we can wait for him to pick us up or we can drive on ahead in my car. Since you're the one going to practice, I'll let you decide.” Seong said after she laid her brush back on the vanity where she could find it. Ren tapped his chin thoughtfully as he he made his decision - he was tired, but he also had too much on his mind. Driving would be a good distraction and might help improve his mood if he couldn't focus as hard on what was bothering him.

“We'll take your car, but I want to drive.”

“Are you sure that's a good idea? You're tired and I really don't think you're in the best of moods right now. I need my car to get to school.”

“I'm sure. If nothing else I'll buy you a new car.”

“Minki, you know that I don't want you to spend that much money on me.”

“Please Seong, just met me drive. It'll distract me a little bit so I can unwind before practice. I'm gonna be too tense to get the moves right if I don't relax.”

“Fine, you can drive. But if I see any indication that you're not in a good condition to drive, promise me that you will pull over and stop the car.”

“Promise.” Seong sighed and grabbed the keys off of her dresser and handed them to Ren. He took them and gave her a quick peck on the cheek before heading outside and getting in Seong's sleek gray Honda Civic.

Ren gripped the steering wheel tightly as he drove down the long expanse of pavement that made up the crowded streets of Seoul. Driving had distracted him for a few moments until he had realized that he hadn't checked any of his social media accounts in hours - he normally tried to respond to at least a few of the messages that he got from fans everyday, but he hadn't been able to log on. He was disappointed in himself for not keeping up the habit that he had picked up - interacting with fans was one of his favorite things to do in his spare time.

Seong noticed the tightness of his hold on her wheel - she had recently gotten the cover replaced and was terrified of any of the paint being chipped off because of rough handling. With a disapproving look she placed her hand on top of one of Ren's to get his attention. He glanced at her before moving his eyes back to the road but said nothing. “You don't have to death grip the wheel.”

Ren chuckled slightly before slackening his hold. “Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I think the wheel is fine.”

Seong's expression softened as she noticed the distant tone of his voice. He was upset again - she could tell far too easily. “Yeah, I figured. But are you?”

“I dunno. I'm afraid to log onto twitter because I don't want to see what people have said. I don't like being afraid - I think I'm more mad at myself for being scared than I am because I'm being made fun of.”

“You know that its okay to get upset when people talk about you, right? You can't expect to be able to take everything in stride - you're human, not made of stone.” Seong sighed and shook her had sadly before looking out the window. “I'm glad you're getting to live your dream, Ren. But sometimes I really regret what its done to you. The old you would have known that he didn't have to stop himself from feeling upset. You would have embraced your emotions because that's who you were.”

Ren flinched. “You called me Ren..,” he muttered in surprise. Seong normally avoided using his stage name - she felt like he was a completely different person when he went by that name, and not the same Minki that she fell in love with. The fact that she called him that was admitting that she didn't feel like he was the same person at that moment, and it hurt. “Also, I'm still me, Seong. I may act different when I'm on stage, but if you strip everything that Ren is away, I am Minki. I thought you still believed that.”

“I do Minnie. But sometimes I wonder.” She reached and laid her hand against his shoulder before trailing her fingers across his neck, something that she knew gave him chills. “It's just that I've known you since we were born. Our mom's have been friends since they were kids. We've always been together, not to mention that we've been dating since we were teenagers. We're twenty now, Minki. I've been around you for twenty years - and I've had to watch you change more and more since your band's debut. I guess I'm having a hard time keeping up with who you have to be for performances and who you really are. Its like sometimes you forget to switch back to the Minki I know and if I'm being honest, it scares me.”

Ren frowned as he made a right turn in the direction of the practice studio. “I guess you're right. I do change myself to keep up with the new trends and what fans like. I do have different selves that make up Ren's persona as a whole. I'm only Minki when I'm around you and the members away from the spotlight. That's not all that often because our schedules are so strict.”

“You don't know how much I treasure the moments where Ren is gone completely and you're the Minki that I know. I really miss you sometimes.”

“For you, I'll try to be myself more. It does get kind of tiring to have to pretend to be someone I'm not all the time. It just becomes a difficult habit to break. I don't want to lose the person that I am.”

“I won't let that happen. I promise I'm here with you until the end.” Seong smiled and stretched when the familiar practice studio came into view. “Well, we're finally here. I'm ready to get out of this car.”

“Agreed.”

"Ren, did you eat?" JR's voice was clearly concerned, but his face remained stoic as he hovered over his youngest member. Ren's pout grew and the leader knew that he had gotten his question answered. "You're not practicing until you've eaten, and that's final. The last time you didn't eat before practice you collapsed and hit your head. We can't have anyone in the hospital so close to our comeback."

Minki sighed in resignation and held out his hand for the food that he knew JR was probably holding. Something warm was pressed into his hand and he glanced at it, finding that it was actually a chicken biscuit from the McDonalds in Seoul. He unwrapped it and slowly chewed, surprisingly realizing that it tasted good.

Ren watched, still eating his own biscuit as JR offered Seong the last one. She took it and said a quick thank you, smiling slightly. She still wasn't as used to JR as the other members - the leader had a tendency to not talk much and when he did, he often came across as intimidating. She didn't dislike him, she just didn't always feel entirely at ease around him.

Moments later Ren finished the last of his biscuit and the band began practicing the moves for their new song, Sleep Talking. Ren tried to focus on the dance, but found himself having difficulty concentrating. He had bumped into Baekho twice, causing the lead singer to push him backwards in aggravation. After a few moments, he found his groove and found himself slowly forgetting about what had led to his bad mood. That was until he heard angry clapping and the manager stepped forward, an annoyed glower on his face. “Ren, your dance was stunning - simply perfect.” he paused, causing Ren to anticipate that there was a “but” coming. He looked at the ground and bit his lip, refusing to meet the manager's eyes. “But you're doing the wrong dance- that was Hello's dance. Do we need to review the dance for Sleep Talking?”

Ren shook his head and got back into position to restart the dance, the correct one this time. Minhyun gave him a sympathetic look before they began Sleep Talking's complicated first move.

Ren sat on the floor beside Minhyun in position for Sleep Talking's first move, his head down. He was looking at the floor, not really seeing it by this point but attempting to practice regardless of how he felt. It didn't really matter, did it? With a sigh he began dancing when all of the other members sprang to life at JR's cue.

Ren did his solo lines in the song, his voice barely above a dull monotone. The managers just shook their heads in frustration but didn't comment. The singer felt his face flush but continued to sing. Seong gave him a thumbs up which he ignored - he wasn't in the mood for false idealism.

When the dance picked up again Ren didn't see JR directly beside him - he swung his arm in time to the dance and hit the leader in the head, knocking him back. Ren gasped as he realized what he had just done, fully expecting to get yelled at by his hyung. To his dismay, JR simply stared at him, hand on his head. “Minki, what's wrong with you today?”

Ren apologized quickly, no other words coming to him. The manager stepped forward and give the youngest member a glare. “Ren, you've messed up the choreography twice now. Do you not know it? Have all of the weeks of training we've been doing really had so little effect?”

“I know the dance manager hyung. I'm just.. distracted today.”

“ I can tell. You haven't paid any attention to what you've been doing, have you? And now you've gone and given Jonghyun a concussion.”

“Actually, my head is fine.” JR mumbled, his voice annoyed. Ren thought that his annoyance was directed at him, then he noticed that the leader's gaze was firmly on the manager. “Stop being so hard on Minki. He had a bad day yesterday.”

Unwilling to get into a fight with the intimidating leader, the manager walked away, uttering a string of angry curses but not giving the members another look as he retreated. Ren gave JR an appreciative look then lowered his gaze down to the floor in slight embarrassment. “You didn't have to protect me.”

“No, I didn't. But I wanted to. Manger-hyung has had a stick up his ass all day, and I'm getting sick of it. He deserved to be told off.” JR hit his youngest dongsaeng on the shoulder lightly. “Now smile, or tell me why you're so out of it today.”

“I read some stuff on twitter about me being androgynous.”

“So? We've dealt with that since debut, Ren. Why does it suddenly matter more to you?”

“Because, I'm not a girl, JR. I'm a guy, regardless of how the fuck I look.” Ren's eyes widened - he had surprised himself with his sudden outburst. Seong gave him a disapproving look and he glanced at the ground for what felt like the thousandth time that morning.

“Minki, you've known since debut that these comments were going to come.”

“Yeah, but I didn't think that they were going to start hurting our reputation.”

“Why would you say that? I haven't seen any indication that sales of anything are going down at all. We're doing fine, Renny.”

Ren didn't respond, he simply grabbed his phone from Seong's purse and pulled up twitter, searching for the string of comments that had ruined his day. He found them quickly due to the still growing chain or retweets and handed the phone to the leader.

JR's jaw tightened as he read some of the more disrespectful comments about his youngest band-mate. His natural protective nature as the leader took over and his fingers gripped the phone harder than he meant to. This wasn't lost on Ren who laid a gentle hand on his hyung's shoulder. “What is it, JR?”

“I don't know what to say about this. This is bullshit. Why the hell does it matter if you don't completely look your gender - that's not hurting anybody. Its your goddamned choice to dress and look how you want.”

“JR!” Baekho called from the floor beside JR's feet. “Language. Seriously, I know you're pissed but tone down the cursing.”

“Fuck off Baekho. You know that you have quite the mouth on you when you're mad.”

Baekho didn't respond - he knew that when the leader was in a bad mood, there would be no reasoning with him without getting his head bitten off. Plus, be had a point.

JR took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. It was never good for himself or his band when he got riled up like this. “I'm sorry, Baekho. I should have thought more about what was about to come out of my mouth.” He turned to Ren and gave him a sympathetic, if not a tad apologetic look. “Ren, there are more comments that I'm sure you haven't seen. They're not good - some of them are downright degrading and insulting. But before you get yourself worked up again, listen to me. Your image is not hurting Nu'Est. You're free to be yourself.”

“Those comments say otherwise, don't they?”

“Yeah. But we're not worried about what people who aren't really fans say. If they really supported Nu'Est, they would support all of us. Don't worry about what some people say - pay attention to what the one's who actually care about you say.”

“I told him that, but he didn't listen. Maybe hearing it from his leader will help some.” Seong smiled as she took Ren's hand. He squeezed it gently, ignoring a mocking look from Minhyun.

JR smiled shyly and nodded. “Yeah. Minki is kind of hard headed sometimes, but you probably know that better than us by this point.”

“I'm right here, and I'm not hard headed.” Ren defended, a slight blush coloring his neck and cheeks.

JR smirked as he ran a hand through his long bangs. “Sure you're not Ren. But anyway, I think we should cut practice short today - let's go get something to eat.”

The manager, who had been silent up until that point, walked furiously towards JR and grabbed the leader by the front of his shirt. “Are you crazy, Jonghyun? You have a comeback in a few weeks. This isn't the time to be taking days off and getting lazy. Its the time to amp up and practice harder!”

JR's fist clenched at his side and it took everything he had not to punch the manger in the face right then and there. Instead, with his gaze too calm, he met the managers gaze with his own dark brown eyes. “First of all, I suggest that you let me go.” The manager did as instructed, releasing JR's shirt and taking an appropriate step back. JR nodded in satisfaction before sighing deeply. “Second of all, I'm the leader of these guys, and I take care of my boys. They're all tired and Ren's head isn't in the game. He's not going to learn anything by being forced to stay here when he has no chance of focusing. I'm gonna take them out so that he can calm down some so tomorrow will be more productive. Are we clear?”

The manger shook his head. “Fine, do whatever you want. I couldn't stop you anyway, not without you making a claim to the director about me prohibiting you from leaving against your will. So go, but be back here at the same time tomorrow, or we will have a problem.”

JR didn't respond he just gestured to the door and began walking towards it, his members and Seong following closely behind. Seong walked faster to match her pace with Ren's and he wound his hand through hers with a small smile. They made it out of the huge company building at back outside into the bright afternoon light.

The beautiful setting was interrupted by the all too familiar flash of cameras and Minki instinctively pulled his hand away from Seong's, glaring at the reporters who had appeared in front of them. With one last look, Ren pulled Seong to him and pushed her face into his side, hiding her from the view of the cameras.

He walked quickly, ignoring the hands grabbing at him and the voices begging him to give them the latest scoop on his life. when the couple arrived at Seong's car, he quickly pushed his girlfriend into the car, allowing her to get in first as he went around to the driver's side. He put the keys in the ignition and sped off at a speed that probably wasn't legal, leaving the reporters in the dirt.

Nu'Est was scheduled for an interview, and Ren was terrified. It was two days after being spotted by reporters at the Pledis company building, and if Ren had been avoiding social media before, he was never going back on it at this point. JR had told him not to worry too much, but he couldn't help it. He had seen what the media could do to twist relationships, and he wasn't prepared to lose Seong due to something like that.

He wasn't naive - he knew that there had been far too many reporters waiting for them for him to fully have been able to protect Seong from all of their views - at least one of them had to have gotten a picture of her face, compromising her identity.

He also knew how these interviews worked - the hosts purposely asked questions that would be difficult or revealing for the members to answer, so that they could get any scoop into the lives of celebrities to boost their ratings.

With a sigh Ren buttoned up his white shirt and pulled a black jacket over it, before looking into the mirror. He had his hair tied in a bun at his nape, and a short gold chain hanging from his neck. He looked at least presentable, not that he cared very much how he looked for this one particular interview.

Five minutes later the manager hurriedly shooed him out of his room and into the waiting van, reprimanding Ren for taking too long and risking that they arrive late to the interview.

“So Ren, the next question is for you.” The interviewer smiled, and Ren returned the expression, even though he felt it turning into a grimace. “There were some pictures leaked on the internet a few days ago, of you and a young woman. In one of the pictures you were holding her hand, and then the next shows you holding her close to your side. Can I ask if she's your girlfriend?”

Ren laughed nervously and Aron laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, giving him an encouraging look when he caught his gaze. He nodded and turned back to the interviewer. “She is.”

The interviewer's eyes widened in surprise. “So you have a girlfriend?”

“Yes sir.”

“Are you aware that their are rumors that you're gay? Some of them suggest that you're in a relationship with your band-mate JR? You're crushing that rumor today?”

“I was aware that there were rumors about my sexuality, yes. I didn't know that they suggested that I was in a relationship with JR.”

“There are, I'll show you them if you want. But since you're crushing that rumor, how long have you and your girlfriend been in a relationship?”

“We started dating when we were fifteen, but we've known each other since we were born.”

“Oh, so you were childhood friends?”

“Yes, so were our mothers.”

“When did you first realize that you were attracted to her?”

“Well, I always sort of had a crush on her, but I didn't know that at first - I thought I was just really close to her because I'd known her for so long. Then when we got into middle school and she started growing up, I realized that she was beautiful.”

“When you say she “grew up”, you mean her body matured, as in she developed..” the host stopped talking and gestured towards his chest. Ren caught the meaning and laughed a little bit, blushing as he looked down.

“I didn't base my feelings on her chest size.”

“Are you saying that you don't like breasts?”

“What? No. I just said -”

“Ren, are you gay?”

JR grabbed Ren by the collar before he could jump out of his seat. The leader knew that this host had a habit of asking personal questions in a very forthright and insensitive way, and also twisting the words of the celebrities to make the question and response all the more juicy. He had hoped that he wouldn't do that to Ren, but had been prepared just in case.

Ren struggled against the older member's grip, but couldn't break free. By this point he was sure that the directors of the show had called cut, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway - the show was broadcast live, and the whole of South Korea that had been watching had already seen his outburst.

He stopped struggling when he saw the expressions on his band-mates faces. He could do nothing by getting angry - it would only give critics more to talk about if he couldn't contain his anger and continued acting out. With a huff of intense anger, he relaxed and JR knew that he was trying to calm down. He released his hold on Minki's collar and sat back, waiting with baited breath as the host sat in his seat, staring at them in shock. “I'm sorry about that Ren, that was rude of me.”

“Yeah, it was.” Ren muttered, unable to control the venom that seeped into his words.

“I think that we should.. call off the rest of this interview. I'm not sure if any of you have anything else you'd like to say to me.”

“You're kind of a dick.” Aron said and gave the reporter a glare before standing up. “We'd leave even if you hadn't given us permission.” Seong sat on the couch of her apartment in shock as the broadcast of Nu'Est's interview was cut off abruptly without warning. The host had insensitively questioned Ren's sexuality with absolutely no reason to other than his own personal speculation. She couldn't blame Ren for his reaction, even though he had reacted more strongly than she thought that he normally would have. He was typically so much more calm and forgiving, but he had instantly gotten angry at the host's comments and she was positive that if JR hadn't grabbed him by the shirt, he would have gone to extreme lengths to shut the host up.

She was worried about him, but he hadn't been answering his phone. She called the other members, but they weren't picking up either.

With nothing better to do, Seong went onto her social media to catch up. What she found on Twitter surprised her so much that she dropped her phone on the floor. It was a picture of Ren, but it wasn't just him. In the picture he was kissing JR.

Seong knew that she shouldn't believe it, but it wasn't the only one. Surely people didn't have enough time to Photoshop all of those pictures? There were too many, each becoming increasingly graphic in its depiction of her boyfriend with his leader.

Then she read the comments on some of the pictures, and she felt her heart sink into her stomach like an anchor. It was at that terrible moment that she heard the door to her apartment open and footsteps loud enough to be heard even though they were coming across carpet. Before she knew it, lips were being crushed against hers and instead of being taken over by the familiar kiss, she struggled against the hands that had found their way to her hips.

Seong pushed Ren away hard enough where he nearly stepped on the phone that she hadn't picked up. He looked down at the floor and saw a picture of him kissing JR. His face fell and and he stared at Seong, his face instantly paling. “You know this is photoshopped, right?”

She shook her head once. “I thought that at first, but why are there so many of them? And look at this!” her voice raised louder than she meant it to as she grabbed her phone from beside Ren's foot before thrusting it into his hands. He read the comment, feeling his fists clench at his side with each word.

'Just because Ren was with a girl, does not mean that he's straight. I'm sorry for all of the fangirls who just can't accept that he's gayer than a circle, but he's not interested in women. He's probably just using her as a cover up to hide his feelings for JR. Look at all of the videos of them acting gay together under the pretense that it's just “skinship” I'm sorry, but last time I checked, skinship doesn't involve making out with a band-mate at any chance you get. I think he's in love with JR and if this girl really is someone that he's dating, I feel bad for her honestly.'

Ren's hands were shaking as he gripped the phone, his gaze slowly turning back to Seong. She was staring at him with an unreadable expression on her face, and he searched her eyes, searching for some sign that she didn't completely believe the rumor that she was seeing about him. Dammit, their relationship was stronger than that, wasn't it?

But as he he caught her gaze, he began to wonder if that was the truth. She was staring at him as if she didn't recognize him, and he realized that it was because of the conversation that they had in the car. She didn't know his Ren personality - he wasn't the same person as he was when he was himself. She didn't know if Ren was capable of cheating on her and using her as a cover up for a relationship with a man.

He had no words to reason with her, but he had to try anyway regardless. He couldn't just give up and let her go without a fight because dammit she was worth it. “Seong, you can't really believe this crap. Look at me.” He tried to grab her face to turn her head towards him, but she kept moving and refused to let him get his hand near her.

“I wouldn't believe it, but why did you react so strongly on that interview, Minki? You and I both know that you've been asked that question a lot - why did it affect you so badly today?”

“Did you not hear how he asked me, Seong? He was asking me that because I don't love you for your boobs. Did you want me to tell him that was the only reason that I fell for you?”

“You know you've been asked if you're gay in worse ways before, and you always responded to them with a smile and told them that you have a girlfriend. You were more defensive, and I know why.”

“Because its true, Ren! You're in love with JR. Why else would you get so defensive when he named names, instead of just asking if you were interested in men? He implicated JR and you went off.”

“Why would you believe that I love JR in that way?”

“You touch each other all of the time, hell sometimes you touch him more than you touch me.”

“You know that isn't true.”

“Do I, Ren?” Seong countered, using his stage-name like a sword. The implication of her using that name stabbed into his heart like a sword and he gasped like his chest really had been pierced. “Its been a long time coming, really. I told you that I don't recognize you when you step off of that stage. You've changed so much even though I've been beside through the entire thing. I really don't know who you are at all anymore.”

Ren's heart ceased beating entirely and he took a step back. “You're not really breaking up with me, are you?”

Seong looked down at the ground. “Yes, I really am. I'm sorry Ren.” She didn't look up until she heard the door to her apartment slam. Seong raised her head up slowly, allowing the tears to stream from her eyes freely as her heart slowly broke because she had just broken the heart of the love of her life, and her best friend.

Ren didn't make it very far before a choked sob escaped his mouth against his will. He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to cover up the choked sounds but failing miserably. He stumbled blindly in the direction of Nu'Est's dorm, his legs weak and eyesight obscured by unshed tears. By some miracle he reached the dorm and got inside without being spotted or asked any questions by people on the street who wanted to know why he looked like he was about to cry. But once he was inside the dorm and saw Aron sitting on the couch watching a movie, the dam that was barely containing his raging emotions broke, and the current of tears that he had been suppressing ran down his face freely.

Aron shot up from the couch and enveloped the maknae in a hug, instinct controlling his mind as he rubbed his friend's back. Ren didn't reciprocate the hug, instead he just stood there as stationary as a wall. It wasn't long before the rest of the members came into the living room, various expressions of shock on their faces. All except for JR who watched the entire ordeal with guilt written clearly on his face. He had saw the pictures - he had posted on his twitter asking people to stop photoshopping those pictures, but they hadn't. And now Ren had come home from Seong's house crying, and he knew, he just knew that she had broken up with him because of the pictures.

He hated seeing Ren heartbroken because of him, but there was nothing that he could do to take away his friend's pain. Instead he went back to his room and locked the door, throwing himself down on his bed and grabbing his phone and headphones. He stared at the ceiling and blasted music to drown out the sounds of Ren's heart wrenching sobs that he couldn't help but feel like he was fully responsible for and soon fell into a restless sleep.

Two weeks passed and it was obvious to Ren's band-mates that he was far from okay. He refused to come out of his room other than to eat and use the bathroom, unless they had practice. His dancing and singing were as lifeless as his eyes, which were near devoid of emotion. He barely spoke to the members outside of what was necessary, and none of them could take the near silent state that the door stayed in constantly. As much as Baekho and Minhyun had messed with him about being a chatterbox, they missed their noisy friend.

As much as they hated attaching more labels to the poor kid, they all knew in their hearts that the only diagnosis for Ren's sudden change in behavior was depression. He slept half of the time that they weren't practicing and spent the other half of the time struggling like hell to fall asleep. He ate but it was only when the members knocked on his bedroom door and reminded him to, then he went straight back to his room and locked the door.

It was weighing the most heavily on JR, whose guilt was causing his already hard to contain temper to erupt. He spent a lot of his angry energy by working out at the gym. It kept him from blowing up on one of the members or the manger, but it could't take away the guilty feeling in his heart. In a rare moment where Ren had spoken since the breakup with Seong, Ren tried to assure JR that he didn't blame him for what happened, but the leader couldn't help but feel that he was just saying that to spare him the guilt.

It was that guilt that led him to Ren's door. He knocked on it lightly, and at first received no answer. Just as he was about to turn away, a quiet reply came from within. “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” JR asked cautiously, expecting to be told no. A few heartbeats later he heard the door being unlocked from the other side, and then there was Ren, his long black hair disheveled and eyes slightly puffy. He had been crying again - it didn't take a genius to figure that out.

Ren sighed impatiently when JR didn't say anything. “What is it, Jonghyun?”

“Can we talk?”

Ren nodded and stepped aside, granting JR access to the room. The leader stepped into the normally neat space and found it in disarray, something unusual on its own. Ren sat down on the bed and JR took a seat beside him. Neither spoke for a few minutes until surprisingly, it was Ren who broke the silence. “You still blame yourself, don't you?”

“I can't help it. It was pictures of us that made her break up with you.”

“Yeah, but they were photoshopped. We've never kissed each other.”

“Doesn't mean that we haven't thought about it.” JR's eyes widened. He hadn't meant to let that slip out, but it was true.

“Seong doesn't know that I'm bisexual.”

Now that was a new piece of information that JR hadn't been aware of. “You never told her? Better yet, she's known you since you were born. How could she not know?”

“I didn't even know until about a year after we started dating, and I didn't really want to bring up that I realized I like dudes to my girlfriend. I thought it would scare her off... a bit like those pictures did I guess.” Ren laughed bitterly and shook his head.

JR sighed. “I know you're upset Ren, but we're worried about you.”

“I'm fine.”

“Are you though? You barely come out of your room except for when you have to. This is the most we've spoken since she broke up with you.”

“I said I'm fine, JR.”

“I know that you say that you're alright, but that doesn't mean that you really are, Minki.”

“Well, I am. Maybe you should learn how to trust me. I think I know when I'm okay or not.”

“If you think you're alright you're lying to yourself.”

“Will you just butt out? I'm fine - drop it already.” Ren sighed in exhaustion, even though he was more mentally tired than physically. He laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. JR stood in place until he realized that Ren was waiting for him to leave. He sighed and obliged, closing Ren's door behind him. Only once he was gone did Ren lock the door and reach under his bed for the bottle of soju that he had stored under there in hopes of hiding it from his members. He had stolen it from Aron's liquor cabinet when the oldest member had left it unlocked.

He uncapped it and took a long swig, wincing at the burning sensation that it caused. His mind wandered back to the comments that seemed like they had bothered him so long ago about him looking like a girl. He had Seong to help him cope during that time, and now he was completely alone, left to read the comments against him by himself with no one to lessen the blow.

The comments had only gotten worse. Now they weren't just talking about him as a person. No, they were threatening his life. People who thought that he was gay or anything other than completely straight had been sending him death threats, threatening to kill him if they ever met him in person. He was terrified for his life and that was part of the reason that he barely came out of his room. It wasn't all because of Seong, even though he couldn't lie to himself and say that he wasn't depressed. He avoided the members because he knew that they would want him to see a counselor to get himself checked out so that he could get back to normal,but Ren couldn't see his life ever being normal again.

He had never considered suicide before, but as he sat on the floor of his dark room, locked away by himself, he felt like just maybe ending it all was the best option. With a shuddering breath he took another sip of the soju before putting the cap on and crawling back into bed to listen to some Lady Gaga to get his mind off of things. Even his favorite singer couldn't cheer up his dark mood.

Sleep mercifully claimed him a few moments later, but his sleep was far from restful. He dreamed of Seong leading a mob of people to Nu'Est's dorm and helping them kill him. He couldn't wake up and was forced to watch and feel it as the woman he loved ended his life.

But maybe dying wasn't so bad

[malaysiankpopfans]

NU’EST Shared a Lovely Moment with L.O.Λ.Es at the “2019 NU'EST Concert <Segno> in Kuala Lumpur”

K-pop sensation, NU’EST was in Malaysia last Saturday for the “2019 NU'EST Concert <Segno> in Kuala Lumpur” at Malawati Stadium, Shah Alam. The show commenced with their hit song, “Hello”, welcomed by a wild cheer from L.O.Λ.Es.

NU’EST members appealed in unique style and concept for their own solo stages. Baekho appeared on the stage in full white outfit that suited his solo performance, “Thanksful For You”. Minhyun presented his self-produced song, “Universe” as he conveyed his love towards L.O.Λ.Es in this song. Ren showcased his sexy moves and fatal charms during “Paradise”. Fans went wild at his performance on a bed with his strong gaze and body waves. Aron proved his singing ability with “Good Love” which has a groovy R&B tune. The loud fan chant by L.O.Λ.Es made the performance more fantastic! Meanwhile, JR went for showcased his rapping skills in rock music style with “I Hate You”.

NU’EST mentioned that they will not be here without L.O.Λ.Es’ support. Seven years in the industry proved that they are close enough with their fans. They also tried a number of sweet pick up lines in Malay and fans just can’t get over it! Minhyun began with “Aku rindu padamu” and he keeps repeating it. Ren did not want to miss the chance to flirt with L.O.Λ.Es by asking “Kamu semua bagus?” with the correct intonation. Baekho stressed that his pick up line is the hardest one which increased the anticipation from fans. He said, “Dengan L.O.Λ.Es, kita rasa bahagia” with his wide gummy smile. Aron’s pick up line managed to drive the crowd crazy, “L.O.Λ.Es! Aku favorite Oppa kamu”. Ren kept teasing him afterwards by calling him oppa.

The encore was the most heartwarming moment. They sang “A Song For You”; a song which is so special for L.O.Λ.Es as it has a deep meaning. This song was composed by the members and they also participated in writing the lyrics. Towards the end of the song, L.O.Λ.Es sang together with NU’EST members. Baekho added that it’s a blessing to hear their fans singing and it reminded them of their debut days. We can feel that NU’EST members treasure L.O.Λ.Es with all of their hearts.

Before ending the concert, Aron especially thanked everyone who worked for their successful concert; their stylist, back up dancers, co-production, people at the backstage, IME as their organizer and all people who are directly or indirectly involved to accomplish this concert.

The boys had so much fun with Malaysian L.O.Λ.Es and they promised to return to Malaysia for their concert tour next time.

Special thanks to IME Productions for the invitation.

[nu-blessed]

Hi. I read you had wrote about aron and produce 101, and I want to ask you something. Could you let me know when did they admit that they fought or say things like “It’s like there’s only four of us here”. I am sorry of my question bother you, but these days I strongly feel something strange and I want to check it from that time.

Hi

When it's come to nuest relationship they are stronger than ever.

At the end of Love Paint Era on vlives it was very easy to see the tension. Baekho said that statement during one of the v lives. You see they still loved each other but Aron admitted that he went through a slump. Baekho also admitted somewhere (can't remember where) that they had an argument. All nuest members were probably stressed out post canvas because they thought they'd have to disband. Some speculate canvas was such a crazily high quality album because it was meant to be their last album.

During that time Aron was probably questioning his life. He had been separated from his family for a long time after all and nuest hadn't made it after so many years. He was pretty much silent during v lives for weeks and didn't talk. Then of course after produce 101 new fans accepted him. They saw his talent and gave him love.

Aron didn't end up leaving nuest pd101 was their last shot and it worked out. I never thought in a million years nuest would get so famous so fast.

Nowadays Aron is so much more confident. His slump is clearly over. He is even more happier now that minhyun is back you can see it radiating off him. I love seeing Aron so happy and hope even more pll see his talent in the future.

So don't worry about him cos NU'EST are going to be together for a really long time ❤️

[heartcravings]

url playlist “review”

@nichts-als-sternenstaub made two playlists (or as i like to call it the nichts-als-sternenstaub cassette, side A and side B) out of my challenge so i thought it was only fitting i’d let her know how much i appreciated it! I made an youtube playlist with all the songs and after the cut you can read my thoughts on them.

nichts-als-sternenstaub cassette, side A:

N/A, Jooyoung . i love it so much!! from the first time i heard it, i liked it so much i had to play it back a couple of times before moving on. i’m really a fan now, have already check a couple of other songs of his and i like them too <3 

I am, Bloo . i liked it, it has some good vibes. the more i listen to it the more i like it!

Can't Breathe, Eddie Supa (featuring Jackson Wang & Stan Sono) .  i really like it!! The first time i hadn’t noticed Jackson was in it but i started to recognize his voice and had to go check if i was delusional! ahah! very chill and addictive! <3

Heilig, LGoony . it’s a more aggressive tune. i liked the mix, but it's not a favourite (yet, sometimes i need to hear things more to fully appreciate them)

Tangled Up, Loco .  i already new this one and i really like Loco, he's a softy! love it <3

Sag mir wenn du high bist, Rin . this is very chill and makes me move, gets me going, flowing... very rnb in a way?i like how it changes midway.

Antares, Kris Wu .  of course i love it ;) <3

La dolce vita, Trettmann . good music!

Sanctuary, Joji . too good!!! love all of it, his voice, the music, the lyrics, the music video, his darn serious face, just too good <3

Softcore, The Neighbourhood . nice electronic bass. like it a lot!

Toxic, Eevnxx . oof get them that man talking in my ear all day please. it's just too short, i needed a longer version <3

Eure Mädchen, Kraftklub . i absolutely love it! Super fun indie rock with the haevy drums! a bit of bloc party, the strokes and arctic monkeys vibes. i feel like i've heard it before though i know for sure i have not. love it! <3

Runter von der Straße/Quadro, Haiyti aka Robbery . i like the rap is very good. the percussion is very good, always changing the rythm. the sort of dooming effect of it all, i like it very much! dramatic! Also love her orange hair :D

Nie genug, casper . can immediately tell he's a great artist! it's a very good song, addictive <3

Enemies, Rich Brian . i had to rap to this bop! very good!! A fave!

泣かせてごめん, KOHH . great vibes! love the japanese (i’m a sucker for the japanese sonority, i mean the way the language sounds) <3

Save That Shit, Lil Peep . i heard this one for the first time at night, it's a great song to end your day: get home, drop the keys, shower, forget the day, get ready for another day, another day to fight back.

Top, Higher Brothers ft. Soulja Boy . aggressive tunes, but so TOP! it feels like criticism of some sort, no? i like it! 

Achoo!, Keith Ape x Ski Mask The Slump God .  similar to the previous song. like it! 

UL-UM, Keith Ape . uhh, heavier! Lots of synths, overall a cool song!

BERZERK, Scarlxrd . an angry song, great rhythm! the rap is awesome!

nichts-als-sternenstaub cassette, side B:

별의 낮잠 (Nap of a star), TXT (투모로우바이투게더) . so dreamy! <3 love the music video too! Island by 周銳 . very chill and calm; love the rap part! really love it! also the little electronic noises <3 (and the guy’s hair colour!!)

Cashmoney, by No Rome . really like this one! <3

會不會 huì bù hui, ONER . a sweet ballad. 

TOKYO, RM . thank you for this one! <3 i love RM's mind, i don’t know a lot about him, but what i know is enough to get curious about him. i swear i wish he'd have a music with Chanyeol, just one collab. i just love Chanyeol's voice so much, i think they would save the world in a song xD (biased much? ehehe)

Say Hello, DAY6 (데이식스) . i love the vibes of Day6! i haven't listen to them much, but i really like the whole light and happy rock feels of their music. plus this one is sang in japanese and i love the sonority of japanese, a fave! <3

All About You by Dragon Pig, Cnballer, Cloud Wang and Bravex . this reminds me of kris's music. Like it A LOT!

LIMEWIRE, MAULI x TAREK KIZ x SIDO x BAUSA . good; like the electronic noise!

Schon krass, AnnenMayKantereit . beautiful music!!

So soll es sein, Faber . cool guitar, raspy voice, like it!

Talk about love, NU'EST (뉴이스트) . cute track! some voices remind me slightly of yixing for some reason and also a bit of junmyeon from exo.

Excuses,  NEX7 . light feeling, i like it!

Reverse (后退), Gen Neo 梁根荣 . great start, cool vibes, easy feeling. like it! 

曖 Tensions, 孫盛希 Shi Shi feat. ØZI . like it a lot!! Øzi is a fuckboy for sure, but i like that he's honest about it xD

Escalate, FREE FLOW FLAVA . really like this one!! the whole thing! <3 

New Estate, Giant Rooks . it’s very indie rock, like it so so much!

傻眼了 SHA YAN, Karencici . i like it, she's so good!!

this girl, elijah who . chill, i like this vibe! very good for writing :D

Allan Align, DRANGSAL . i like the drums! it actually reminds of The Drums xD love it!! <3

UNO, Rex Orange County . witty! i love it <3

BREATHE, AB6IX .  okay i loved it. reminded me of exo and there is even a baby chanyeol (voice wise)! i feel like i should check them out, but at the same time i'm scared too like them too much.. I did check the other main track and don’t like it as much. But this one is great!! <3

[vskpop]

My 30 favourite songs of 2018

YouTube playlist ⋅ Spotify playlist

30. Heroine – Sunmi

I hesitate to call Sunmi feminist – does she consider herself one? Can k-pop really be feminist? – but her matter-of-factly, eyes-wide-open songs that touch on the position of women in relationships and in society are the closest thing to genuine female empowerment I’ve seen in k-pop. It doesn’t hurt that every single one of her songs is amazing.

29. Bboom Bboom – Momoland

Considering I usually hate “viral” songs – I’ve been brainwashed to like Gangnam Style just recently – I’m still shocked at how much I love Momoland’s Bboom Bboom. I’m also proud to say that I was an early adopter of the song, and watching their success skyrocket made my Q1. I’m still not tired of the sax line and of the “GREAT!” shouted during performances. This song (and Momoland, really) is just irresistible.

28. Retro Future – Triple H

The last ever song by Triple H (anger abounds) is just a taste of the genre-bending, sound-mixing, absurd-lyric-writing that we could have gotten for many years. Their retro-future has nothing to do with the Jetsons, and much more with insane 80’s synths and, well, that sexy vibe.

27. Love Shot – EXO

Well, EXO, that was last minute. My ambivalence towards EXO is represented by this song, which I both find ridiculous and adore at the same time. This song’s luscious synths and layered vocals make it elegant, then the performance makes it kitsch. I don’t know if I’ve been brainwashed, but it’s so great.

Other songs of note: Electric Kiss – Tempo – Gravity

26. Not That Type – Gugudan

A thousand times yes for Gugudan doing edgier concepts. Not That Type is the spiritual successor to A Girl Like Me, and it’s almost as good. This song, however, is even tougher and more explosive. The new 8-member Gugudan is off to a great start.

Other songs of note: The Boots – Shotgun

25. Beautiful Feeling – Day6

Yet again, it’s my special skill to ignore all the popular songs that a group has, and in this case the rock vibe that defines it, and pick the sweetest, mellowest song they’ve put out. Day6 make some amazing power ballads, and Beautiful Feeling gives me warm and fuzzy feelings every time I listen to it.

Other songs of note: Days Gone By – Headache – Shoot Me – Somehow

24. Dinner – Suho ft. Jane Jang

I don’t know how the powers that be decided that this duet should happen, but the result is everything. Jane Jang’s one-of-a-kind voice layers beautifully over Suho’s, who ended up being often overlooked as an EXO vocalist for all these years.

23. Remember Me – Oh My Girl

Every single Oh My Girl put out is juicy in its on way. They may always go back to their foundational dreamy pop, but they never fail to throw in a twist. Remember Me’s EDM flavour and heavy rap are a total change from Secret Garden, but the song still blossoms into a romantic, airy chorus, and all of the members find something to sink their teeth into.

Other songs of note: Secret Garden – Magic – Love O’Clock

22. La Vie en Rose – IZ*ONE

My resolve to ignore the existence of IZ*ONE (and survival show groups in general) faded at the first two octaves of La Vie En Rose. This song does so much with so little: the atmosphere it creates, and the contrast between the powerful pre-chorus and the understated chorus are what makes the song for me. In the meantime I’ve started to learn their names, so I’m doomed.

21. I Want You – SHINee

SHINee’s constant stream of releases this year is at the same time a new beginning and the beginning of the end. It’s hard to imagine that a whole year has passed since Jonghyun, and it’s hard to think that the group has survived even though these songs are concrete proof. I really struggled to make it through the more melancholy songs, so I picked I Want You out of a series of basically perfect tracks.

Other songs of note: Good Evening – Chemistry – Electric – Who Waits For Love – Countless – Our Page

20. LATATA – (G)I-DLE

I would be surprised if there was a single Boombayah lover who didn’t love this song. It has the same (pseudo-Indian?) influences, the same rhythms, the same anthemic quality. Latata is catchy, hypnotic, fun, and showcases all the members equally (ok, maybe Soyeon a bit more than everyone else). This is a textbook debut for 2018.

Other songs of note: Maze

19. 1, 2, 3! – Seungri

Here’s someone who usually did club music and for once didn’t, and I loved it anyway! 1,2,3!  is retro, guitar-led and much more lighthearted than anything Seungri has ever done. It’s lovely to see a less sultry (and a biiiiit slimy?) side of him. Also Anda.

Other songs of note: Hotline – Where Are You From

18. 22 Century Girl – fromis_9

I feel that my obsession with fromis_9 is still at its earliest stage, and that by the end of 2019 I will have gone totally mad for them. I am in love with their singles – To Heart, Love Bomb, what instant classics! – but the whirlwind of sounds of fever dream 22 Century Girl have stolen my heart.

Other songs of note: To Heart – Love Bomb

17. Blue Moon – Gyeong Ree

Another one for the theme of this list: house! Give me all of it in your pop songs! Here’s hoping that Gyeong Ree (wasn’t it easier when she spelled it Kyungri? Anyway) continues her solo career with such intriguing, sophisticated but super-fun songs.

16. Stay Here – Sojung

I don’t know exactly, but I cry my eyes out more often than not when I hear this song. Ladies’ Code’s Sojung’s voce is as light as a feather, until it explodes in the soaring chorus. Everybody knows that I love any power ballad, but the complex emotional balance of this one is just on another level.  

15. Now or Never – SF9

I can’t say I’ve been following SF9 as idols, but I have been listening to all their releases and they have given me nothing but quality. I know I complain about songs with drops, but the deep house (yep, again) and that sensual “jealous” have been killing me ever since they came into my life. It might be my favourite hook of 2018.

14. I Love You – EXID

I was a bit taken aback by EXID’s Lady earlier in the year, but it was love at first listen with I Love You. The distorted hook opens and holds together a song that has all the best of EXID, including Solji, who has returned stronger than ever with flawless vocals and zero shame.

Other songs of note: Lady

13. Dejavu – NU'EST W

You guessed it – house. Nothing has given me as much joy as the rise of NU’EST W, and I’ve been even happier because they did it with superb, incredibly on-trend songs while retaining the dark charm of their pre-success material. They really leaned into the “sexy bandit” thing, and I’m all for it.

Other songs of note: YlenoL – Shadow – Feels – Help Me

12. Oh! My mistake – APRIL

This song is fluffy and super-poppy and at the same time side-eye in music, if that was ever possible. The super-innocent and cute concept that APRIL have been doing since forever is now tinged with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm, and a little creepy synth that perfectly matches the theme of the track. It’s so addictive and so delicious.

Other songs of note: Oh-e-Oh – BEEP

11. Snapshot – IN2IT

I love when smaller groups do really, really great and out of the box stuff instead of copying their more successful peers. I’ve watched countless performances, entranced by the bass that opens the song, holding my breath for that “heartbeat go fast, heartbeat go slow”. This is one sexy song, and IN2IT are one good rookie group that I will keep my eye on.

10. Timeless – NCT U

Leave it to me to find the most niche release a super-popular group has had, and fall in love with it so deeply that the rest (most of which I hated, not sorry) doesn’t count. NCT are too big of a group with some really, really good singers hiding in the back line while the rappers swagger about. I loved that some of them got their chance to show off and I adore this poetic, heartbreaking song.

Other songs of note: Boss – Baby Don’t Stop – Replay (PM 01:27)

9. Shine – Pentagon

I have to wonder if this song would have been higher in my charts if it wasn’t for the bloodbath that was of Pentagon and their career after this song came out. It’s such a pity that such a feelgood song has become, well, not so feelgood. This song’s wonky piano riff and anthemic chorus are still a delight, and their personality really shines (LOL) through. OT10 forever.

Other songs of note: Off-road

8. The Grand Dreams – Minseo

Where did Minseo even come from? Why hasn’t she been here our entire lives? Her dreamy vocals have been giving me life this year, and her refined musical sense (or of her producers, really) is a breath of fresh air when everything gets a bit to same-y in k-pop.

Other songs of note: Is Who

7. One of Those Nights – Key ft. Crush

Key came in last minute and slapped us all in the face with a perfect album that is reminiscing of SHINee’s work from earlier in the year, but also shows his personality as an artist. The lead single One of Those Nights moves fast and interweaves the melancholy of the lyrics in the music. Both Key and Crush are shockingly good vocalists, but together they just make each other shine even more.

6. Allegro Cantabile – Nature

Random music terms / Italian? I had to check it out. Nature put out something that’s a musical number, j-pop anime opening and k-pop bubblegum all in one. Their vocals are amazing and they are adorable. I’m excited to follow them into 2019.

5. DDU-DU DDU-DU – BLACKPINK

Is this Blackpink’s best offering? No. But what does it say when your not-best is still miles ahead of the competition? Blackpink have been doing k-pop bangers better than anyone else, and DDU-DU DDU-DU, from Jennie’s spitfire rap to Rosé’s melodies, hits all the right spots (like a ddu-du ddu-du).

Other songs of note: See U Later

4. Puzzle Moon – GWSN

This song is so good. These girls are so good. As I put together this list, I realised how much all I wanted in 2018 was a good deep house sample, and GWSN delivered. The bass contrasts elegantly with the tiny voices, and the obscure chorus – “make it moon” – emphasizes the magical atmosphere of this song.

3. Air – Winner

I miss old Winner. New Winner’s YOLO swag annoys me at best, so I dig through their b-sides in search for what we lost when Taehyun left. Air’s appropriately breathy chorus and gentle, romantic atmosphere did it for me and managed to put Winner on my podium yet again. Good job, Winner. Now stop it with the tropical house.

Other songs of note: We Were – Movie Star – Raining – Have A Good Day

2. KILLING ME – iKON

The year started well for me (and everyone else) and iKON with Love Scenario, but I had no idea of where it would bring us. Killing Me’s bitter, moody atmosphere made for the dance song of my dreams. The decisive beat and array of distortions somehow create an eerie, understated atmosphere. It’s a dance song, but make it sad and a little creepy.

Other songs of note: Love Scenario – Rubber Band – Beautiful – Perfect – Freedom – Don't Let Me Know

1. Oh My – Monsta X

I know. I am annoying myself by picking a b-side as my favourite song of the year, but here we are. Monsta X have become one of my very favourite groups and, while their album songs have always been amazing, to me Oh My summarizes everything I love and everything I want from them. In a year of minimalism, it’s loud, larger than life, unafraid of bleeps and bloops, rich in both vocals (Kihyun!) and proper rap sections. It’s the powerhouse that I expect from them and I hope to hear again and again.

Other songs of note: Jealousy – Destroyer – Fallin' – Spotlight

[lunebinnie]

(1/14)I am so sorry for taking so long! (I also had to spend a lot of time studying this week bc I had my first exam for my Anatomy Lab on Wednesday... And then we had our first exam for *Lecture* Thursday (which also was the day I had a bunch of powerpoints due for my very intimidating adviser...) and then I had to substitute teach all day Friday (and then I meant to respond sooner but I got so busy 😭) so yeah I completely understand about school getting in the way no worries abt it!)

And also sleeping in on a day off when you’ve been busy studying lately is completely valid hon 👌 I hope that your midterms go well and that you’re able to stay healthy and take care of yourself in the midst of preparing! (not that you wouldn’t, I just have a bad habit of neglecting things like healthy sleeping and eating habits when I get caught up studying, so hopefully you’re not like me in that way) And yeah me too! I mean on the one hand I understand *why* they have that limit

3)If u could just send as many as u want there would be so much more spam and ppl would definitely abuse that. But also?? Um? I have a chronic condition called ‘Can'tShuttheFuckUp-itis’? 🤷 This policy is so discriminatory towards people like me who suffer from this crippling condition! I feel oppressed honestly 🙄 tumblr rlly has something against ppl just trying to get to know each other huh? Lol, but at least now we know why it eats them I’ll be sure to try to prevent that in the future

4)And oh my gosh that’s so cool! I’m super jealous!! 😮 lol. I wish they hosted kpop nights at my local bar! 😭😭 But no, I’m here at my little state college in a little 2 mi2 town just under pop 5500 (and idek if that’s before or after counting college students) in the middle of the 'farm zone’ of my state. All we get is country night @Riley’s 😩 RIP. But ya I wish I had more ppl around me who were into kpop! So far I’ve only met 3 ppl who listen to it. One was that roommate I told you about

5)One is just a casual listener who isn’t really into 3rd gen groups and mostly just listens to Girl’s Generation but that’s valid, and one isn’t even rlly a fan of any groups in particular, she just puts the kpop station on when she studies bc she says she needs music but if it’s in English she gets distracted, lol And omg that is insane! $500?? And 5 copies of the same album? 😲 (Says the girl who’s been a Monbebe for a hot 2 months and has already bought three (3??) Monsta X T-shirts… 😂

6)in my defense tho one of them was only $10 bc it was Black Friday? And u can’t blame me, Hot Topic is my krypotonite lmao) but yeah I already feel guilty about spending 30+ dollars on one copy of an album (thx international shipping) That’s so wild. And yeah I don’t get why ppl feel the need go out of their way just to insult other ppl’s music taste. I’m also pretty self conscious abt sharing my music taste and obviously the way everyone around me talks abt kpop has made me even moreso now 🙃

7) I haven’t gotten into too many groups yet bc I’m trying to go slowly and focus on getting into one group at a time but I do have a long list of groups I plan on getting into eventually! NU'EST is one that I’ve heard some of their songs on my Spotify based on my listening history and they’re on the list haha 😂 And omg I feel really similarly about Got7! I tried to get into them after I got into Monsta X and right before I got into Astro and although I did really like some of their songs

8)I haven’t really been able to get into their music as much as MX and Astro’s yet. I do think they seem like a really fun group in terms of personality though. As for the comeback I know right?? I mean I know a lot of ppl were freaking out abt the comeback being a 'sexy’ and how it wasn’t gonna be the same cute Astro we all love anymore. But they filled the MV with flowers and glitter and still managed to make it sexy as fuck! This album has a very different vibe but it still felt like them

9) They managed to pull off a more mature and sexy concept while still staying true to themselves and I’m so here for it! I don’t know if I could really pick a favorite era because I love them all! I mean Spring Up was an excellent era and every era since then has been great. They really don’t know how to have any bad concepts or make any bad songs huh? Lol. Since I’m still pretty new I really love the title tracks since I’ve heard them the most. (I have listened to their full discography

10)But I haven’t listened to their Bsides enough to pick out my favorites from those) I also really love Again though! The first time I saw the dance practice I was super into it and then I looked up the lyrics and was like 'this is supposed to be sad/regretful song it has no reason to be this much of a BOP?!’ 😂 I have such a hard time picking favorites though. Since All Light is new though I actually have listened to it enough times to pick some 'non-title song favorites’ from there haha

11) Other than All Night (which is great, obvi) I also really like Starry Sky, Moonwalk and Role Play 😂 and Bloom is so pretty oh my god! 😭😭 the album is great and has no bad songs but those are the ones I particularly like. I feel u about the dances honestly. I think that’s actually what drew me to kpop initially. I mean I like listening to the songs ofc but it wasn’t until after I actually watched an MV/saw the choreography that I actually was like… Oh shit I’m gonna have to be a fan now

12) It was the visual aspect that really made me want to be a kpop fan bc I haven’t really seen that level of performance with any western music. Which isn’t to say I think all western music is bad but I think it’s really impressive to watch kpop groups singing and also doing really impressive choreography and performing at the same time. Plus that’s the part I can show my family and say 'even if you don’t like the music because of the language barrier you have to admit they’re talented dancers’

13)And yes! With Astro especially I think the dance practices rlly succinctly capture the reason why I love them so much. They are *super* talented but they also have such great chemistry and u can rlly tell that they just love each other and have so much fun together! I love a family of six hardworking dorks! 🤧💗 lol. And yeah it’s too bad that neither of are able to see them this cb ☹️ (I also did the 'hypothetically…’ research but it wouldn’t have worked out 😒) I hope you’re right though!

14)Hopefully the success of this comeback is the catalyst to Astro getting more of the attention they deserve and there will be many more opportunities to see them in the future! (Although it is too bad we won’t be able to see live performances from this cb, since it’s so pretty 😭 tho with their track record I’m sure future cb’s will be just as good lol) But what about you? Do you have any favorite songs from this cb in particular? Talk again soon! (I’ll try 2 b better @ responding 😭) -AHA

FUCKKK okay so after like a million years of midterms + 2 days straight of sleeping ya girl is BACK to answer these asks after getting through the hurdle of copying and pasting and italicizing 14 asks onto one response on my phone. Did I perhaps fail at least 3 of my midterms? Quite probably. Do I have the energy to care atm? No. Did I need to get away from everything and fly to Boston to visit my friend for reading week? Yes.

How did all your exams go? That sounds crazy though! I hope you got through everything ok!

Tbh I have the same unhealthy habits too, I essentially became nocturnal and lived on like one meal a day + snacks and coffee 😭 fr, I would be writing my midterm from 11:30-1:30, go home to eat, sleep from 4-7pm, then wake up to study all night for the next one, and repeat,,,,, I’m like an actual mess tbh

Honestly as much as I’ve enjoyed the Aroha secret admirer thing (it was sooo nice getting to meet new people) rn I’m just so glad that post-reveal we don’t have to deal with tumblr ask limits and writing entire essay responses all in one go.

Honestly 3 shirts isn’t even THAT bad especially if they weren’t all like ordered from overseas so they wouldn’t have been that expensive. When I went to the Myeongdong underground shopping centre I went craaaazy with Kpop merch despite stanning (at that point, pretty much only) BTS for a whole 3 weeks, so I ended up coming back with 2 albums, a bunch of stickers, a photocard pack (also bonus: got an Astro one too) and like a BUNCH of bt21 stuff. Speaking of, my All Light album finally came in!! I ended up getting a Moonbin, MJ, Jinjin, and Sanha photocard plus the a Rocky lyric booklet and ik I basically got THE best set for someone who loves all of them w my whole heart 😩✊ but I’m still sad I didn’t get any Eunwoo cards since he was my first Astro bias 😭 it’s soooooo pretty I love it sm and like lowkey I’ll probably end up buying more of their albums anyway oopsss

Speaking of Monsta X btw, I heard their new song and I thought it was really good! What did you think of it?

Regarding favourite songs, I swear my moods change so much, so it’s pretty common for me to not love a song at first and sort of rediscover it months later, and tbh that’s kind of what happened with Innocent Love, Baby, and Again. In this album though, I’d say my favourite Bsides are probably be Bloom, 1 in a Million, and Heart Brew Love.

And I toootally agree with the performance aspect of kpop being the thing to attract me it, even before I got really into it I’d sometime like to watch dance practices (and lowkey even learned a bunch of choreos a with my friend last term just bc we had access to a frequently empty dance studio). It’s just super impressive to see people singing and dancing at the same time mostly live, and for the same reasons I’m also super into musicals as well, which isn’t so say I think like lip syncing or just dancing/singing is bad, it’s just refreshing to see it done all at once, you know?

Also side story it turns out that I actually DO know another Astro fan irl!! Her older sister (who I’m closer to bc we’re closer in age) is the one who bought the million got7 albums. Even though she’s been a fan of Astro since before debut, her sister doesn’t even know she listens to kpop since she was afraid of getting roasted at first, but now she’s in too deep to say anything. I’d mentioned liking Astro to her before, but she didn’t say anything bc she didn’t want to expose herself in front of her sister but on Friday I saw her while her sister was out and she was like “oh btw here’s a secret I went to the Toronto fanmeet last year but my sister doesn’t know” I was SHOOK but tbh I’m just super glad now to have someone to talk about it and go to concerts with (I’m banking on the fact that they’re coming back)

Anyway, THANK YOU SO MUCH for waiting 2747287482 million years for my response, and it was so great to finally (officially) meet you Kjersten!

@kaptain-k-pop

[nuestkings]

NU’EST W interview with Vogue Korea

(Trans: Melodia_Muse | Original Article)

NU’EST W has completed their story with a dramatic reversal. And now, they have begun their last run.

These are stories from before the “W” began appearing at the end of NU’EST’s name. For many entertainment industry representatives, NU’EST were like a precious child who was struggling. Despite being a boy group that ticked all the boxes of a successful idol group without any big flaws, NU’EST just never “hit it big.” The feeling of painful regret was biggest during the fourth mini album Q is. and the fifth mini album Canvas. They were albums that not only showcased music that was trendy for its time, but also reflected the group’s unique color. The title tracks “Overcome” and “Love Paint” showed NU’EST’s talented ability to take on a romantic fantasy-like story and incorporate powerful choreography and versatile vocals to create stages that looked like they came straight out of a musical. The albums were full of pop tracks that were easy to listen to no matter where you were. Music critics who had an affection for idol groups would talk about the two albums as “children of misfortune” because they were never recognized for their true value.

A celebrity beauty director who has watched over them for a long time said that NU'EST is a group who become lovelier the longer you see them. "They have a lot of ambition when it comes to their music and they work really hard, but they don't go overboard in an effort to be loved. In a way, you could say that they just silently focus on doing what they need to do. Their lives are surprisingly simplistic. They would say, 'We really burned it up last night!' but when you asked them what they did, they would say that they went to a 24-hour coffee store and chatted the night away over 10 cups of coffee. (laugh) They're a very cohesive group. They're loyal and prudent kids, so most people tend to stick around after getting to know them.” In conclusion, NU’EST has always been a great group but was also a boy group that had been mostly unknown by the world, and this was why they are able to properly seize the opportunity they were given through Produce 101. Through Produce 101, the public began feeling the same way as the previously mentioned entertainment industry representatives, and they decided to shower NU’EST with love that they hadn’t give them before. At the time, the fancafe was overflowing with posts like, “I’m sorry I only just found out about you.”

There has never been an idol group with such a dramatic story of growth. The idol world is an industry. Investments of time and capital are needed, and it is only when profit is made that a “next time” can be planned. Though idols create art, it is an industrial system that makes it possible for them to exist. NU’EST used to be a group that couldn’t promise a “next time.” Six years into their debut, they appeared on Produce 101 thinking it would be their last. In the end, only Hwang Min Hyun made it into the top 11, and just when they were wondering if it was a cruel twist of fate and really their end, NU’EST’s songs started rising up on music charts. NU’EST reorganized and returned as NU’EST W. Though they were thrown into a situation where “they woke up one day and found themselves to be superstars,” NU’EST W returned with music created with great care and affection, music that wasn’t swept away with change or fame and instead strongly maintained the group’s color, just like always. JR said, “The question we get asked most is what has changed. But we really haven’t changed at all. It’s just our surroundings that have changed.” NU’EST W went from “Idols only I know” to “Idols everyone knows,” and beginning with the single “If You,” they released mini albums W, Here and Who, You, all of which were received with much love and anticipation. The lyrical stories, melodies, and the members’ unique vocals were as harmonious as ever. Ren said, “In the past, we were so thirsty for even just one more person to listen to the music we’d worked so hard on that we weren’t really thinking about how well we did on the charts. I feel like that thirst has been quenched now. But we still have that hope that more people will listen to our music.” Their surroundings have changed quite a lot though. “After the show, we each went to our hometowns. I went to a buffet with my mother and the people there would recognized me and say, ‘Oh! Aren’t you Jong Hyun?’ My mother really enjoyed that. (laugh).” (JR)

NU’EST W is currently walking down a “flower path,” something trainees and struggling idols can only dream of. They are at the beautiful peak of their journey of growth. Their fan meeting sold out in two minutes of tickets going on sale, and they even ranked third in boy group brand reputation rankings. When they had their solo concert in March, they filled the Olympic Park SK Handball Gymnasium with their fans. Despite it not being their promotional period, NU’EST W’s songs continue to appear regularly in the Top 100 charts of music sites. JR has appeared on shows like Night Goblin, Law of the Jungle, LAN Cable Life, and Love Catcher, making a name for himself as a maknae (youngest) of variety shows, and Ren also recently began appearing on The Kkondae Live. Variety shows these days tend to value celebrities who show their true and natural selves, and this has provided the perfect opportunity for NU’EST W. And the attitude they have when approaching these shows is just as perfect. JR said that he felt grateful towards everyone. “I’m always so happy during filming because I get to meet a lot of great people. My seniors give me lots of advice and they help me out a lot.”

NU’EST W have always let their hard work do the talking. Recently, NU’EST W took on the challenge of creating lunchboxes for fans on V LIVE, and Baekho, who had never cooked before, started by saying, “Hard work is something I always feel confident about.” He also said, “I didn’t become a singer because I had always been really talented, I learned how to sing and dance when I came here [to Pledis]. It was through hard work that I built up my singing and dancing skills. It wasn’t easy. I’m sure everyone is talented in something. The difference comes from just how talented you are in the beginning. As long as you work hard, you can grow that talent into something bigger. I’ve never thought of myself as being more talented than others.” (Baekho) “Even those who are talented work hard. There are many people who think, ‘Because I don’t have a talent in this, I should just give up,” but there are even more people who work ten times harder because they have a talent in something.” (JR)

Even the story of how each member entered the entertainment industry has a dramatic flair to it. They are stories of being scouted on site during audition programs or just catching the eye of an agency representative while walking down the street. “I’d always wanted to be a celebrity from when I was young. In school, I used to dance in front of my friends and they would laugh and clap for me, and I really liked getting that kind of reaction from people.” (Ren) “After I was scouted and I started training, I started to enjoy singing so I naturally started to think, ‘I’d like to become a singer. I want to make my debut.’” (Baekho) “It was through my time as a trainee that I learned to enjoy and feel affection for all of this.” (Aron) “At first, I wasn’t really thinking about it. To be honest, I preferred to just play games and have fun. But one thing I really liked was that after I became a trainee, even when I didn’t do well on my tests, my parents wouldn’t tell me off or anything. (laugh) But I didn’t feel like my singing or dancing was getting any better no matter how hard I trained. I began wondering if I should just quit but one day, I saw myself and said, ‘Huh? I’m really this good at dancing?’ It was after that day that I began to enjoy dancing.” (JR) It was actually after they made their debut that they began to feel a sense of urgency. They wanted to connect with people through their music and their performances. They wanted to share their world view with people. That is why even now, seven years into their careers, they prefer the concert stage the most. Their most exhilarating moments are when they are singing with their fans and creating a performance together.

Almost two years have passed. And now, they are preparing for their last activities as NU’EST W. They have announced that they will be making a comeback in November. Though they can’t reveal anything about it yet, they have been pouring all of their efforts into the album. NU’EST W explained that they will pick a theme and start from there to create their songs and complete an album. Baekho, who creates the songs and is also in charge of producing the albums, said that the he will talk in-depth with the other members about the direction of their music. Then, he’ll take his laptop and go somewhere without any concrete plans. It is through this process that Baekho is filling up his hard drive with music that has yet to see the light of day. “Rather than thinking about the method in which we’d like listeners to hear our music, we try to create moments that feel relatable and allow us to connect with them. We feel truly grateful when we tell our story and listeners say it feels like they’re listening to their own stories.” (Baekho) If rock stars had once represented the youth in the past, that role is now being played by idols. Idols artfully express the detailed and expressive emotions their generation feels. The fact that NU’EST W’s music receives an impressive number of comments that say, “Thank you for making good music,” is a testament of how well they are representing their generation.

The members of NU’EST W have varied preferences when it comes to music. Aron likes R&B, since he grew up listening to it thanks to his mother’s influence. JR likes music that engages his imagination, while Ren prefers music that holds a relatable story and can create a great performance. For Baekho, he doesn’t have a definite preference when it comes to music. He goes out of his way to listen to everything from the extravagant to the minimalistic. He compared listening to music to eating food and drinking water, so integral to his life that he’s never spent more than an hour without listening to any music. These different preferences come together and can naturally be seen in NU’EST W’s music and their solo songs. NU’EST W said that music is the strength that keeps them going. “I feel like music is the only gift we have that we can give to our fans. We really feel just how much power and strength music can give people.” (Ren)

While we were planning the photoshoot, we had the film Trainspotting on our minds. It’s actually a film that was released in 1996 that the members, who were born in 1993 and 1995, probably didn’t know much about. In the film is this line, “Choose your future. Choose life. But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life.” NU’EST W once had a time when they felt lost and unmoored. But of course, the way they expressed it was vastly different from the film. “When we were trainees, we all packed our bags and left once. We fought with our manager and he said, ‘If you don’t like it, then get out,’ so we really left. Where else could we go? We went to our respective hometowns.” (Baekho) “When we were seventeen, we were feeling so worn out that honestly, we just wanted a break. I think our agency thought we were cute and humored us. They called us later and told us to come back soon. I stayed home for two weeks before returning.” (JR) The wanderings and deviations of youth don’t necessary have to be something that causes social distress. If youth is described as the period of time in which we struggle with the direction we want our lives to go, then the members have lived their youths to the fullest. “Every day can be a deviation. I create deviations for myself. If I’ve been eating cabbage kimchi every day, maybe I’ll eat green onion kimchi today. If I’ve always been drinking the same brand of water, maybe I’ll drink another brand today. (laugh) To be honest, I’m so happy with my life right now that I don’t feel a desire to escape it.” (Baekho) “When we get breaks, I just stay at home. I’ll leave the house if I feel like I need some fresh air, but I’ll end up sitting outside for 10 minutes or so and then come back inside.” (JR) The undercurrents of hardships they have endured and the happiness that fills their hearts is reflected in each and every song created by NU’EST W.

When asked what they think it means to “be NU’EST W,” JR said it’s a sense of ordinary familiarity, a feeling like they’re people you could bump into on the street. Baekho said “being NU’EST W” is just being themselves the way they are now, while Ren described it as not letting go of that strand of hope. The four members have spent approximately 8 years together, and they said it’s meaningless to try and define their relationship with each other. Their personalities and preferences are so different that it makes one wonder how it’s possible for such different people to be together, but they quickly learned to simply accept their differences and are spending what is considered the growth stage of their lives singing, dancing and

just living together. That’s why they find it a little awkward when they have to praise or analyze each other. “We’re just fellow members to each other.” (laugh) It is through the fact that they don’t even think about changes to their relationships that we can estimate just how deep their connection goes. To give an update on the members’ lives these days, JR had been addicted to PC games but recently turned his attention to PlayStation games, and Aron is wondering what he can do to get his dog Noah, who is currently going through dog puberty, to listen to him. Ren is thinking a lot about his personal happiness while also buying 40-pack boxes of Kkandori ice cream and eating 15 a day. Baekho has recently become addicted to opening delivery boxes, so he’s been shopping online and ordering the most interesting and odd items. His most recent purchase is equipment to treat torticollis, and JR has been using it a lot these days.

The past two years have been like a drama with an unexpected twist for NU’EST W. The members are moved by and feel grateful for every moment, so much that it’s difficult for them to pick a single memorable moment. They have shown that the old adage still holds true that as long as you don’t stop dreaming, an opportunity will eventually come your way. NU’EST W never gave up on hope, and they have now become an icon of hope themselves, and we want to keep watching them grow.

“We can’t really say where our finish line is. We believe that we need to keep growing and adapting to the changing times. While we are active as NU’EST W, we’re focusing our goal on continuing to walk together as this group. We believe the best thing for us is to keep walking, slow and steady.” - JR

[whonsper]

Random Tag Game

Thank you @angelicleefelix for tagging me I love you!!!!!!!!!

    Rules: You don't have to answer all of these. But you at least have to answer 10 of them. You can tag as many people as you want but please always try to tag someone to keep the game going.

(also pretend there's color im on desktop fml)

1. How did you meet your newest friend

My newest friend is someone in my Chemistry class, her name is Geanna, I sit next to her. When I walked into Chem on the first day, there weren't a lot of seats, and I didn't know anyone in that class (cuz I had just moved to this school) so I took the closest seat to the door. But someone was already sitting there, so I asked if she was saving that seat for anyone, she said no, I sat down, and just kept sitting there and that's just my seat and now she's my friend and she's pretty cool I like her

2. Name one person you call "b"

3. Xbox or PlayStation

4. Name one of your anon's codenames (Ex: BlueFlower Anon)

I don't have any anons…. :( I'd love some though!!

5. Which Kpop group do you bias the most

Well.... that changes a lot.... For a year it was BTS, then I found Stray Kids.... it's complicated. idk can they both be my bias groups?

6. Who is your ultimate kpop bias

God... Jhope. Jung Hoseok. Hobi. Sunshine that no one deserves but everyone needs. God I love him so much.... He is so goddamn talented. Vocals, rapping, dancing, visuals, yes king.

7. Do you like to draw

Yes, but I don't draw very often.. I mostly enjoy drawing eyes (but only the left eyes....) and cartoon brontosauruses

8. Do you like your name

Yes, I am super lucky and have an outstanding and unique name, but I actually wanted to change it when I was a bit younger (like 14) cuz of how often I'd get teased for it (and honestly how unoriginal people were with it. if you ever meet me irl please just don't...)

9.) What's your age

I am 16, going on 17..... people usually think I'm younger...

10. What do you identify as / what are your pronouns

I tend to just use she/her, but recently I prefer they/them. Either one is honestly fine

11. What's your sexuality

Okay, so I'm not totally sure. But I'm somewhere in the realm of gay/bisexual/pansexual I think? idk I like girls

12. What's your current mood

Idk earlier I was just worrying over my relationship. I tend to overthink things a lot (im sure literally everyone who follows me does the exact same thing) but like, I was offline almost all day yesterday, I had to work concessions at the football game, for my band, and then I had friends come over last night and so I didn't get to talk to kass at all yesterday and I feel really bad and I'm so worried that she thinks I don't care when I do I promise I'm just not good at talking to people if I don't see them in person, which is kinda impossible, and I don't want to sound annoying or try to force conversation or interrupt her while she's doing something or talking to someone else more important. I'm sorry I love you so much Kass, I just have a few things going on, and once my phone is fixed I'll actually be able to talk to you more!

13. Name 5 songs to go with your mood right now

Control - Doja Cat, Universe - EXO, I Loved You - Day6, Love Paint (Every Afternoon) - Nu'est, Still My Lady (Chinese Version (for some reason I like that one so so much more just the way it sounds)) - SF9

14. Do you like taking selfies

I am not that kind of person, I don't take selfies unless I go out of my way to make myself look either extremely ridiculous or I really like my outfit or hair. I don't see the point otherwise honestly

15. How much money do you have to your name

16. What is a scent you really like

I honestly really love the smell of vanilla, bread baking, my friend's cologne (idk it's cuz it made me think of him), and this one specific smell I don't know what it's called but I have a small empty tube of conditioner that smells like it and it is literally the most manly smell ever but I still love it idk it makes me very happy

17. Do you prefer crayons or colored pencils

Colored pencils, definitely. Crayons break way too easily, and colored pencils blend way easier. Also you can sharpen them much easier and draw much easier, colored pencils are just better

18. What's your favorite color

Purple, blue, green

19. Name three of your friend groups and who's in them

So, I kinda only have two groups. There's my discord group of buddies, @zef-yr, @josovae, @strcykid, @mithrilnen, @mlmskz, @blondeggukk, @skzangelsclub, @dowoonhtml, @princeleeknow, @straikids, @mywigism-i-a, Oona, and Key (ily guys so much you make me so damn happy!). Then there's my irl friends, who I'm kinda losing so I guess that's not a group anymore... But besides I don't have any groups of friends. I just have friends here and there. I have friends who are in groups together, but I'm just not in that group so lol fml (I need more friends....)

20. Who is your bestest friend in the whole world

I don't know that I have one.... I thought it was my friend max, but I guess he doesn't care anymore (and apparently talking about me behind my back cuz I moved schools??? what the actual fuck, just saying). I made a new really good friend names Hailey, she's a freshman but she's super cool and I hope to remain friends with her for a long time. Then there's my other friend from my previously mentioned now broken friend group, it was max, trin and I. Trin and I are still friends, and we talk a lot and I love her so much. She hasn't been talking bad about me, and telling max off about it too. (I love my friends so fucking much...) I've known her for a little over a year and I love her so much... But idk if I have a "bestest" friend anymore. its kinda sad....

okie doke. now its time to tag some fuckers. oh boy... okay all my discord buds, consider yourself tagged. you don't have to do this, but idk you're tagged :) oh but @kpopstolemywig you gotta do this, im countin on you bitch!! (sorry ily)

[bang-me-bangtan-style]

fucking with joshua

00 | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 |..

paring: Hong Jisoo / Joshua x reader

genre: smut, innocence, corruption, sexual predator, seducing, going against morals

summary: A recorded list of incidents of you corrupting the innocent Hong Jisoo.

notes: this series is based on a predatory OC don’t read if your not into that or are against. you’ve been warned.

UNEDITED! But enjoy 😉

"Bro did you take a shit?" Minghao said when you stood at his side again. Nu'est t was on stage about to do their rehearsal.

"No!" You hit him. He laughed. Well you took a long ass fucking time. He eyed you. you instantly thinking he knew. Your sub- Conscience getting to you.

"Well damn were you counting the minutes until I got back?" Minghao rolled his eyes and you laughed. "What it seems like it."

nuest get their mics on.

You searched the crowed for Joshua and when your eyes connected it was like the world was in slow motion. Everything seemed so irrelevant when it came to him. You shyly looked away remembering what just happened. And you became nervous as you remember you were staying the night with him.

"So I was thinking we could watch another movie in my room tonight if your up for it minghao smiled. Joshua flooded in your mind again. You couldn't cancel on him-

"I can't I'm super tired, I think I rather rest tonight cos I'm dragging today I feel like I'm about to kill over and die," you exaggerated. Which was true you were tired but you weren't that tired.

You wanted to tell him that you had talked to Joshua but another part of you told yourself not to do so you didn't want to get a lecture from minghao to tell him again. You were going to tell him but on your time you knew it was long over do and dragged out but that was besides the point the pint was, was that you needed some time and you were afraid of losing Joshua if he ever found out. It was kind of selfish but it was the truth. The complete truth.

"Okay, that's fine I'm tired too," then why did you want to what a movie? "Minghao looked up and nu'est began their song.

"Because I just wanted to spend time with you," minghao confessed. You eyed him as nuest rung in your ears.

"We can tomorrow night if you want,"

he smiled, "okay that sounds great."

He sighed and stretched his body out. "Rehearsals are going to take forever as we go through the whole show. All I want to do is lay down," You looked around, the pristin members were scattered and some were laying on the floor talking or sleeping.

"Look," he looked over across the room following your head gesture, "pristin, why don't you do what they are?" Minghao looked and felt relieved.

"Yes, I should do that." Minghao dropped to his knees laying his body on the floor. You decided to do the same but not sleep- but watch the rehearsals. You couldn't miss a moment because you wanted to take in the whole process of getting ready for the show. This was your first concert- verses minghao who has done this a million times he wasn't missing out on anything in particular.

You laid on minghaos back when he found himself laying on his stomach.

"Okay next song," director-nim said," trama- rap unit."

Minghao had passed out. So you just sat and watched the next coming songs

"Pristin v.”

The singing unit finished and got off stage minutes passed before the director called up the next stage.

You shook minghao as the director called the performance team to the stage. Minghao groaned and you eyed him as he looked...sexy like that. Mmm.

Hail down hoe. You thought.

Minghao got up and you moved ending up crossed legged on the floor. He groggily walked towards the stage Dino jun and Hoshi coming from all sides too minghao put his hands through his hair and shook it a little.

They got into place and minghao put his game face on despite him just waking up.

Umack chusaeyo"

You always loved the performance team.

"Okay let's go ahead and do thanks."

The rest of seventeen made their way up to the stage.

The rest of the day went well you had gone through the whole show tomorrow everyone had to dress up and act like it was the actual show (expect more video skip them is you don't wanna watch them but it's part of the story)

Everyone exited some stayed behind and asked questions but your ass bolted out the stadium . You went with pristin in their van and took your ass back to the hotel. You were so tired you didn't want to stay any longer.

You needed some rest before going to Joshua's later. You said good bye as you you and pristin went your separate ways and you got your card key out. Seventeen had just arrived on the floor and you hurried into your room before any one of them spotted you.

With your back pressed again the door you sighed in the dark room. It was now late and the sun was going down. It was close to eight and you were ready for this trip to be over so you could go back home and use your own bed again.

You threw your bag on on the floor next to the door and took your shoes off not bothering by taking anything else off you popped in the hotel bed and past out.

- There was a noise in the background of your dream. You were running through a forest, running away from something. You had anxiety, and panic filled your system- but you didn't know what you were running from.

Again a phone text message sound filled your mind. Confusing you as you ran. You tripped as you looked back and you jolted awake before you could see what was trying to get you it almost grabbing you.

You moved around in the bed moving your head side to side while your eyes were still closed you eyebrows knitted together before you opened them. looking around at a pitch black room you suddenly remembered- Shit you slept for a long ass time didn't you? You had somewhere to be.

Your phone- the sound that you heard in your dream rang again. You reached for it and seen Joshua had called you and texted you.

3:05 am

Shit.

You were supposed to meet him at 12:00 am

You hurried and got out of bed brushing your teeth and trying to look decent and not like you weren't running through the woods in your dream.

Your heart beat extremely fast and you thought about being alone sleeping with him.

You grabbed your phone and card key and slowly looked out the room not wanting to run into anyone. You peeled your head out looking down both sides of the long elegant fancy hallway.

The ghost was clear.

You ran out down the hallway getting in the elevator. Joshua was on the next floor up. Pledis rented out two whole floors in the hotel. Minghao however was on your floor. And unfortunately so was mingyu.

You pushed the next floor up and rode the elevator for a split second. The doors opened and you looked up. Joshua was on the other side. His hair pushed back and phone in hand. You stared at another and when the doors closed Joshua put his arm from keeping them from closing.

You jumped out of your trance and you titled your head to the side. He smirked and held out his other hand. You slowly took it and he intertwined your fingers together. You began walked down the hallway the elevator closing behind you both.

Him here and you like this it felt so right. It was like a dream. There was a lot of ups and down with him but it had been worth it. He was definitely worth all the emotional turmoil you went through.

You smiled to your self thinking. You felt so lucky right now.

"What?" He said looking at your smiling side profile.

You shook your head feeling silly and childish for your cotton like feelings, "this just feels good that's all," you said looking back him. He smirked and you melted. He squeezed your hand and continued to walk with you.

His room was all the way at the other end of the hall. He put the key in and when you opened it it was dimmer lighting it up just a little. He let you enter first him following in after you.

He shit the door and locked it it echoing outside the room and in the hallway. He lean his back against the door and smiled at you. You squirmed under his intense gaze and you broke the eye contact first. He made you nervous. This made you -

He grabbed your hand again him leading you to the bed. You swallowed a big lump in your throat. Why were you nervous you're the one that made him nervous. Was it because he was acting out of the norm?

He pushed you down on the bed and you slowly layed down your hair fanning around you. He put his hand on your face and gently kissed you. With his knee he pushed your legs open and got in between them. With one hand on your neck and the other on your hip he started to make out with you. Gently sweetly addictingly.

The taste of him was always so Enticing.

You responded. Gently of course. And moaned when he pushed himself into you. Him making you feel every part of him that wanted you.

This was bliss this was what you wanted this was everything. You couldn't deny that you loved Joshua. Joshua was everything to you. With or without the sex. The silly game that you had up your sleeve had the opposite effect you wanted. He played you. Not the other way around. The player lost its own fucking game.

Joshua did that kind of shit.

He broke the kiss. And hovered over you. He just starred at you. His kisses lingering on your lips. You wanting them again.

A second passed with heavy breathing. And flusters cheeks. Him looking at you with those hooded eyes was dangerous for you more than for him.

"Do what you want with me," he whispered finally as if he had come to an final decision.

You eyes could have rolled in the back of your head with him saying things like that. He was really tempting you. You had switched roles and you wondered how the fuck it happened, who was seducing who again?

You could have just came alone with just those words.

You stared at him holding in your new found excitement. A willing submissive Joshua.

You grabbed him back to you holding both his hips to yours as you rolled them around against them. In a slow gently motion.

He moaned into your mouth and kissed you down your jaw. He found your neck and you quickly stopped and arched your back. He smiled against your skin and you hated that he knew your weakest spots.

Again your hands on his hips forced him to push himself into your core. You wanted to feel him. Every part of him.

He had his hands above you head rubbing your forehead, guiding his hands through your long silky hair.

He breathed you in. His eyes brows knitting together out of satisfaction before finding your lips again. You didn't even need to have sex. Just doing this with Joshua was satisfying enough. Whatever he gave was always enough until you craved more.

You had waited forever to be this close to him. You had been through a lot just to get to this point. You broke the kiss and kissed him down his neck this time earning  a manly sexy groan from him.

God did Joshua know what he was getting himself into. That you would suck out his innocence, literally?

He was in for one.

He didn't know what he had done.

You rolled him over so that you were on top of him he didn't know what to do so his hands were awkwardly in the air as he didn't know where to put them as you took control. You pulled them above his head intertwining his fingers with yours as you moved your hips on him and kissed him.

It was a sexy sight to see.

He was so hard you bet it hurt. It was time to blow his first load. You didn't know how he lasted all these years with out anything sexual. To think that he never came before and you were able to do that for him made you into a monster.

An addict

An fucking with Joshua addict.

As he breathed into the poison that was you, you leg go of his hands and made your way down south. Kissing him along the way in every place you could kiss. You looked up at him his eyes hooded as you stopped at the end of his sweatpants. His breath bitching him awaiting his invitation to your hell.

He laid his head down and waited for what was to happen next.

You pulled the waistband down a little and kissed him on his hip bone earning and cry from him you tugged them down some more and kissed his v line. He had his hands in the air again about to lose control. He was sensitive there and you knew it.

Finally you pulled his pants all the way down and off his feet. And threw them bitches to the floor his cock sprinted up and stood tall. God, he was massive and all you could think about was deepthroating him.

With his cock exposed to your eyes you looked past it while sitting on your knees. You sat in between his legs and waited for him to lift his head up and look at you.  When he did you said, "tell me you want it," You sinisterly said. He didn't say anything and you challenged him.

Finally he said, I want it,"

"Are you sure?"

"Im sure,"

"Sure of what?"

He breathed sexy and blinked slowly, I want you to suck my cock,"

"You want me to what?" you feeling exciting talking like that.

"I want my cock in your mouth,baby" he breathed barely holding on.

You lost control that's all you needed.

You grabbed him and he moaned and withered at you command you now had control over him.

You got him. Right where you wanted him.

You licked the tip before you unexpectedly took him in your mouth.  He cried out and it was like music to your ears. He tasted so good.

With your hand on his shaft and your mouth at the top you found a rhythm as you mouth fucked him. All Joshua could do was moan and grab your hair he experienced nothing like this before and was losing all control. You would be surprised if he would bust in your mouth quickly which would be okay.

Anything for him. You had all the time in the world to do everything eles.

"Mmmmm," he moaned as you deepthroated him. You sensually and slowly let up and kissed his cock. You watched him his face red and in distress as he tried to fight you from making him come so soon.

"Baby it feels so good-"

"Come for me then,"

"I don't want to yet." He said.

"Enjoy this we have all the time in the world baby." You said before you found him in your mouth again. He tangled your hands in your hair and helped you suck the fuck out of him , him surrendering to you completely this was it there was no going back now one he came it was it and it was over he wouldn't be pure. He would be your sinful boy.

As you flatted your tongue  you upend your mouth more for his well endowed manhood. He took control moving in circles fucking your mouth as he tried to find his relief.

His breathing was so harsh and short as he tried to find himself in you.

It was amazing how he was so innocent but quickly caught on he knew what he liked and didn't like already and you love it.

You let go him piping out your mouth you killing his orgasm him moaning in distress. A string of saliva connected at the tip of his cock to your mouth.  When you pumped him with your hand it broke.

You stared at him as you used your hand watching his squirm Beneath your control.

"Your so sexy baby like this, it's a good look on you," you said before putting him back in your mouth. It was time to make him cum because he wouldn't be your dirty boy until you popped his innocence it flowing down your throat like you wanted it too.

You rapidly deep throated him(Mouth wide open mouth wide open mouth wide open like I was at the dentist- if you don't know those lyrics get off my profile we can't be friends lol jk) he hissed, cursed, groaned. As you worked to get him to cum again.

"Oh baby," He whined.

You popped him and licked him from the base to the shaft before pulling him back in your mouth again.

He was so sexually frustrated he started mouth fucking you again. God your baby wanted it so bad. The way he rolled his hips in circles really got you wet.  He mouth fucked you harder- "Oh fuck," he breathed at the same time a fat ass load shot down your throat. Popping the innocence of what was Hong Joshua.

so what do you think about the book so far? comment, like.