#You just know I'm shivering and shaking for day 17.

[themintman]

DAY 15 RAHHHH

Was gonna do more Jurm but like. The whole point of this for me is to try and draw other characters- BESIDES ILL BE DRAWING MORE KF THEN LMAOOO so have one of the most iconic scenes ever el oh el

Mcsmtober by @bumpkin-bug !!

[zriasstuff]

All because I liked a boy

Theodore Nott x reader

Before you scroll: THANK YOU FOR 314 FOLLOWERS RAHHH <<33 (the pi number is perfect) and special shoutout to @babygoddam who ALWAYS likes my shit first, you a real one. Feel absolutely free to send in requests (totally not because im running out of ideas)!!!! // pt.2 here

Summary: Theo is dating Pansy, but is also seeing you secretly behind her back. What happens when you get sick of that and present him an ultimatum. Will it be her or you? And what if a unexpected friendship develops from all this?

It’s your last year at hogwarts, so that makes you about 17/18 yo.

Everything about your clandestine meetups behind the quidditch field was morally wrong. As you’re walking up to your meetup spot, you feel the urge to stop yourself and go back to your dorm. You want to, and most importantly should stop making the same mistake again and again. But your lack of self control would be the eventual death of you.

Actually, no. Theodore Nott would be the eventual death of you. He was the reason for your lack of self control.

The freezing January air made it impossible to breathe, your red nose hurting from every drawn breath. Shivers ran through your body, all the way to your head where you were experiencing a first hand brain freeze. How was it possible that this is what your life has come to.

Through the foggy air, you eventually make out a tall and lean figure, approaching you with arms crossed and head down. Death has arrived.

“My bad on suggesting to meet up here in this crappy weather, but my dorm is occupied”, he breathed out while clouds of vapor escaped his mouth.

“What about the library then?”, you suggested. Any place inside would be better than this.

“No”, he decisively rejects your idea while shaking his head.

“Why not”, you ask.

“You know why”, he says, sounding increasingly annoyed.

“I don’t” You do. You know exactly why. You want to hear him say it.

“Don’t do this”

“I really don’t know”

“Stop, I really don't want to do this right now” Theo let out a repressed huff with his head lowered. One of his hands that was in his jacket pocket began ruffling through his hair. Whenever he was uneasy he did that.

“Fine”, you let it go. Truth be told, you were also afraid that you wouldn’t be able to digest what Theo would say. On one side, you knew that this was wrong. But on the other hand, admitting it was wrong meant that you would have to end it, otherwise it would make you guys horrible people.

Not that you weren’t horrible people now, but saying it just made it all the more real. Real is bad. Reality sucks. It was easier to hide in a bubble.

Theo looks you in the eyes again, assessing that this probably wasn’t a great time to do anything. But he didn’t want to make you feel like trash either.

“So how was your day?”, he awkwardly asks.

“We don’t have to do this, don’t pretend you actually care”, you sigh. His attempt was meant well, but it was futile. He could never make you feel fully cared for. And that was alright. You know you don’t deserve it anyway.

“I do care”, he exhales while nailing you with his intense stare.

“For your dirty mistress? How naive do you think i am”

“So you do want to do this right now” You thought you didn’t, but today seemed to be especially hard on you. Perhaps it was the stress from classes, perhaps it was the passive aggressive letter you got from your parents, or perhaps it was Theo barely acknowledging your existence in between classes.

“If not now, when then? I'm getting sick of not talking about it” It was time to face reality and put your fears aside.

“I thought you were okay with this”, he raised his voice confusingly.

“With being your side chick who can’t be seen or associated with you in public? Am I okay with seeing you prance around with Pansy, while I have to meet you out here like this?”

“Hey I'm not the bad guy who is forcing you to do this”

Theodore Nott wasn’t forcing you to do anything. No. He would just call you baby behind closed doors. Buy you flowers. Secretly spend nights with you. Anything a boyfriend would do, just without the emotional attachment.

And Pansy. His girlfriend he actually prances around with. His girlfriend who thinks she means the world to him. This slippery slope with Theodore down to where you were now started approximately four months ago. He had gotten into a really bad fight with her and at a party he started flirting with you. He lied about having broken up with her.

The worst part— you didn’t even find out up until two months later. In those two months he had obviously made up with her and didn’t end it, but he was sneaky. You had to give him credit for having juggled the two of you for that long without either noticing. You guess it helped that you were in Gryffindor. But after two months Theo got tired of being on edge all the time, so he decided to make his relationship with Pansy public again.

Why didn't you end it with him back then? Good question. All you remember is a bunch of unconvincing bullshit from him. But as unconvincing as it was, he gave you a sense of comfort. And although he didn’t make you feel fully cared for, he was still better than your supposed friends. Those two months you lived in the unknown were special, you had to admit. You felt special. But even the brightest spark eventually dies out.

“I know you’re not forcing me, but I'm getting fucking exhausted of this. And I feel terrible about Pansy”

“Why do you even care about her?”

“WHY DON’T YOU?!”, you suddenly burst out. Yes, he chose her over you because he had been together with her before you got together with him. Admittedly, he’s treating her better than you. But you don’t hate her. She actually didn't do anything. And unlike you, she isn't actively hurting you. It was so frustrating to know that you were choosing some guy over the “girls protect girls” vow. All because you couldn’t handle being alone again. Pathetic.

“Do you realize how ridiculous you sound Theo? Saying you like both of us, but in reality you treat both of us like shit.”

“Well what do you want me to do?”, he angrily asked.

“I'm giving you an ultimatum. Either you break up with me and stay with her. Or you tell her and deal with her breaking up with you. If she doesn’t, and if you also don’t, then I will anyway”

Perhaps it sounded a bit too extreme at the moment. You were definitely the last person to talk about morals, but it wasn’t too late yet. In the long run, it would benefit Theo too. A huge weight was finally going to be lifted off of your shoulders.

“Please, you’re not thinking straight”, he pitifully pleads in a last attempt to escape his responsibility and ultimately reality.

“I mean this works just fine. Pansy is happy, I can make you happy, and i promise you won’t feel like a dirty mistress”

A scoff is all you’re able to respond with. “You got until the end of the week, otherwise I will immediately cut off any ties with you”

Are you as important to Theo as he says you are? It’s wrong, but innerly you wish that he would break up with Pansy without telling her. That would be ideal for you. Freaking Theodore Nott, who showed you what kind of person you really were.

The next day, you caught Theo and Pansy making out in the hallways. “Ugh get a room”, you think to yourself. The day after, still no change. And on the day after that, everything was still the same. And as one could imagine, on the fourth day, still nothing.

With Friday approaching, Theo would only have two more days to make his decision according to your ultimatum. Perhaps he thought that you didn’t mean it seriously, but you did. You swore to yourself that if after two days still nothing happened, you’d break up with him. “Break up”, as in quit being fuck buddies, it wasn’t like you were in a real relationship.

Consumed by your own thoughts, you apparently missed McGonagall's announcement. Suddenly half the class was packing their stuff and getting up.

“Hey what’s going on”, you ask a guy sitting in front of you.

“Did you seriously not pay attention?”, he hisses.

“What do you think, smart-ass, since I’m asking you right now?” This was not the time to be lecturing you.

“We got a new seating arrangement, she just read out all the pairs who are going to be sitting next to each other. I think you’re with Pansy”

Shit. You swallow hard at the mention of her name.

“You sure?”, you ask dumbfounded.

“I mean she’s walking up to you right now”, he says shrugging his shoulders, “anyway gotta go”

You hope to fuck that he was wrong. But after turning around frantically, you observe that Pansy was in fact walking up to you. Out of all forty students, of course you would be next to her.

“Heyyy, looks like we’re going to be stuck with each other for a semester. Cute bracelet by the way, where’d you get it?”, she greets you in quite a chipper tone.

“You’re boyfriend actually got it for me after our first time”, is what you would say if you didn’t lie. Instead you reply “thanks, a friend got it for me but I don’t know from where”

“Y’know I actually have a really similar one”, she says as she’s sitting down next to you and pulls up her sleeve, “Theo gave it to me”. It was basically the same bracelet, just in gold instead of silver. So, what were the chances that Theo bought several bracelets in the same shop and just gave them out to whoever he fancied at the moment. Not even the slightest effort.

“How sweet”, you force yourself to say in the happiest tone you can manage.

“So what’s going on in your life?”, she continues the conversation, “I just realized that I barely know anything about you, even though we’ve known each other since year one”

You almost want to say “trust me, you don’t want to know what’s going on in my life”. Instead you say “nothing much, I’ve been thinking about maybe trying out for the quidditch team”

“Oh how cool, I’ve seen you fly in class, you totally should try out. You know during the last game between Slytherin and Gryffindor Blaise did this really funny thing where…”

What Blaise did, you’ll never know because you tuned out. But what you do know now is that Pansy is actually an incredibly nice person. In just five minutes she has shown you support, complimented you and began talking to you like you were her new friend. Perhaps she thought you could be friends. After the lesson ended, you felt almost carefree. You guys barely got any work done, but instead gossiped about anything that came to mind. Time practically passed away in seconds, and you were just hugging Pansy goodbye before going separate ways. Nothing felt weird at all until…

As you’re about to pull away from the hug, you catch Theo staring intensely from the corner of your eye. Was he suspecting something? Truth be told, you could’ve inquired more about his and Pansy’s relationship, but you decided to not be nosy. The less you knew, the better.

Later on, after you spent hours feeling like an empty shell of a human being, you slouch to your dinner table. During the day your thoughts felt like a huge, untieable knot, so you decided to ignore everything. When all classes ended, you immediately hopped into bed, rolling around, slowly rotting. Feeling nothing was better than thinking too much. There was simply too much. There was the question of whether you were a terrible human being, wondering if you should completely rebrand yourself, thinking about what Theo would do and about how it would affect Pansy, and so much more. In the end, nothing would be answered by just thinking about it.

Even while eating dinner, you have to restrain yourself from letting your most inner thoughts wander. Though, Pansy sure added fuel to the fire by smiling at you. Genuinely flashing you the purest, brightest smile. For no reason at all. Just to be nice probably. Instead of smiling back like a normal human being, you almost choke on your water.

This was it. You couldn’t pretend to be unbothered. You had to end it. You hated that option because it meant that Theo could escape from his responsibility, but it also meant that you could redeem yourself. Right? After all, you also carried some of that responsibility.

To contact Theo, you wrote “meet me at astronomy tower, important!” on a small piece of paper and slipped it into his hand after dinner was over. Hopefully no one saw that transaction. Since everyone always pushed another, it was only natural to bump into someone and touch their hand or arm.

Halfway on your way to the tower, you question if all this had been a huge mistake. Would you even have the guts to do what you had set out to do ? Theo could be so goddamn persuasive sometimes.

On your last few steps you lose a bit of balance and barely make it to the balcony, feeling like you would collapse any time soon. It even takes you a second to realize that Theo was already there. Before he turned around you just thought that it was some random guy.

“How were you faster than me”, you huff completely out of breath.

“I have my ways”, he says. “So why’d you want to meet me here”, he asks, seeming disturbingly nonchalant. As if he couldn’t guess the possible reasons.

“I want this to be as quick and painless as possible”, you begin. You gain an eyebrow raise from the otherwise collected looking guy.

“Let’s just officially end this. You and me. We are officially over.”

You were pretty sure that you didn’t sound as confident as you wish you had, but nonetheless you had done it. Officially calling the breaks would be your ticket to a normal life again. Whew did that feel freeing. But this wasn’t fully over yet.

“I thought it was up to me”, Theo sounded agitated now.

“Well i changed my mind”

“That’s not fai-“

“Seriously, Theo, you want to talk about fair ?”

“So what if i told you that I would’ve chosen you over Pansy”, he tells you while throwing his arms around. “You just want to give up like a coward?”, he spits at you, blowing up in anger and disbelief. His widening eyes and clenching jaw told you were enough to convince you that he was full on serious.

Is that what you were doing? Giving up on something genuine? You never thought about it in that way. Sure, your connection to Theo was undeniably strong, but were you ready for actual commitment?

“You don’t get to say that”, you defensively say as you take a step back. He immediately gets in your face again.

With tears forming in your eyes, threatening to spill out, and quivering lips, you try your best to curve your mouth upward and take your last stand.

“I am not giving up. We never had anything to begin with because you were a coward.”

He steps even closer, his nose touching yours. His dead brown eyes looked hauntingly beautiful in the moment. “But don’t you see, I want to give us a try”

“I CAN’T DO THIS THEO”, you yell in his face, not caring that your tears streamed down your face. All that bottled up anger came down to this. “WHAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, THERE IS NO US.” Just as you say that, you frantically tear off his gifted silver bracelet and throw it in his face. “We’re done Theodore” are your last words before storming off.

When you notice him following, you run even faster, yelling “STOP FOLLOWING ME FOR FUCKS SAKE”. Eventually you stop hearing his footsteps, and you allow yourself to break down in an empty corridor. You keep muttering “it’s for the best” as a way of reassurance, but you don’t even know if that’s true anymore.

That night you went to sleep, wanting nothing but to drown out everything. Instead you got a fucking nightmare about the entire events at the astronomy tower. Only, you were watching from the third person point of view this time.

Luckily, as you wake up, you realize that it was a Saturday, so you could be in peace a little longer. Apparently you also woke up pretty late because you were alone in the dorm. Great, your “friends” didn’t even bother pretending to include you. It was always like that. They were nice to your face, but actively excluded you. What was it about you that alienated you from everyone?

*BANG*

HOLY FUCK.

You suddenly jolt up and watch Pansy come through the door. She looked furious and extremely messy. You notice her heavy eye bags and smeared mascara.

“YOU WANT TO TELL ME WHY THE FUCK YOUR BRACELET WAS ON THEOS NIGHTSTAND?!?”, she shouts, probably loud enough for everyone in Gryffindor to hear.

“What are you talking ab-” It was mid sentence when you realize that you in fact threw your bracelet in Theo’s face yesterday and that Pansy recognised it from McGonagall's class.

There was no point in lying. “Pansy please I can explain”, you desperately choke out, feeling a knot in your throat.

“Fuck you. I actually liked you, but i guess you are just another snake”

Before you can actually explain yourself, she already left. All by yourself, you begin to sob. Perhaps your “friends” were right in excluding you. You wouldn’t even want to be friends with yourself.

This mess you were in— what if you never went to that party where you met Theo? But that wasn’t even the most important part. You had to find a way to make it up to Pansy.

Argh this is it…for now ? So if you read the deleted original fic “Baby”, you will recognise the first part, but not the rest. I asked if you wanted a pt.2, but then i realised i could just make all of it into one, longer part. I really really hope you found this if you read “Baby”. And who knows maybe this storyline will continue.

Also thank you for the people who commented, i tagged y’all (except for two i couldn’t find), so you could find this more easily. @onyxwingsandcrowblackdreams @princessofsilverandserpents @pumpkinchee @laur20a23 @ladyblablabla @the-mrs-malik-styles @boomdolle @mmeskywalker

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

A Collared Lamb [2]

Robibe Paulson x afab!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? | request info • Kinktober 2024 Masterlist • Kinktober 2023 Masterlist • Day 17: Praise Kink

Summary: You tell Robbie what to do.

A/N: This was meant to be for kinktober 2023 (I'm so sorry). A massive thank you to @thexsanctuaryx for saving my butt yet again and beating.

Warnings: praise kink, dom/sub dynamics, humping a pillow, please let me know if I have missed a warning!

Word Count: 1699

Robbie fidgets a little with his fingers, digging his nails into the skin of his thumb as he bites his lip. 

“Here you go,” You come in from the kitchen and hand him a coffee - decaffeinated. He shouldn’t really drink regular on his medication. 

“Thank you.” He takes it quickly as you sit down next to him on the sofa. “Your place is really nice.” 

You smile at the little blush on his cheeks. “Thank you.” 

“Really nice, thank you for, um, you know, letting me come over.” 

Your grin widens. “Of course.” 

He takes a gulp of the coffee that is still a fraction too hot, while you blow on your drink.

You’d met up a few times since you’d exchanged your information at The Collared Lamb club, going for a walk and for lunch, just getting to know each other. 

This was the first time you’d both been alone with each other. 

Robbie sets his cup down and winces. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah, I, um…” There’s a smear of blood on the outside of the mug from his thumb, he hadn’t noticed it had started bleeding. 

You grab a tissue. 

“It’s nothing, really, I’m sorry-” He says quickly, but you take his hand and wrap the tissue around his finger. 

“It’s okay.” You smile. “Did you catch it?” 

“I… um… I was picking at it.” 

You nod. “I noticed you do that sometimes.”

He hung his head. 

“Hey,” You lightly stroke his cheek while you squeeze his thumb softly. 

He’s biting his lip when he looks up at you. You smile and press the pad of your finger against his bottom lip, easing it out from in between his teeth.

“It’s okay, I’m not telling you off.” 

“I know, it’s just,” he swallows. “I know I shouldn’t. It’s a dumb habit.” 

You shake your head. “It’s not dumb, you’re not dumb.” 

He flushes a little at the praise, squirming slightly at your words. 

You pause, a little cheeky thought settling. “You’re a good boy, Robbie, you know that?” 

He wriggles, a shiver passing over him. A soft little sigh escapes his plush lips as he gazes up at you.

“You like that?” You tease lightly. “Like being a good boy?” 

He shivers again and nods shyly. His cock swells, pressing painfully against his trousers.

“Do you want me to stop?” 

He shakes his head. 

“Okay,” you keep your voice even and steady, even though the glee is building dizzily along your veins. “But you’ve got to be good and tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” 

He nods rapidly. 

You give him a look.

“I will. I will.” He says quickly and licks his lips. 

You pause. Letting the anticipation build. “Good boy.” 

He groans, closing his eyes and squeezing his legs together. 

“You didn’t tell me you had a praise kink.” You say softly. 

His eyes snap open and he looks at you bashfully. “I’m, I’m sorry, I should have, I-”

“It’s fine,” You cup his face with one hand, “Normal. Lots of people have one.” You grin. 

He smiles shyly at you. “Can I,” he pauses for a moment, remembering the things you have talked about before. Clear communication. “Can we…?”

“What would you like?” You ask softly. 

He shakes his head, breathless. “I don’t know, I need…” he leans closer to you, whining happily when you give him a soft kiss. 

“My good boy needs to come, right?” 

He shivers, groaning and nodding his head. 

“Alright.” You pull back a little and he sighs, trying to follow your lips. “No.” You draw the word out, no real heat to it. 

He stops instantly. “Sorry.” 

You shake your head. “It’s okay. Get up.” You motion to the middle of the room with your head and he jumps to his feet straight away. 

“That’s really good Robbie, well done.”

He swallows thickly, his eyes glazed. 

“Now take off your clothes.” 

He pulls them off hurriedly, trying to get it done as quickly as possible to please you. You smile at his eagerness. 

“Good boy.” 

He groans, his eyes rolling back ever so slightly. His cock twitching as it bobs free. 

“Now get on your knees.”

 He drops to the floor quickly and puts his hands on his thighs.

“So good Robie, you’re doing really well.” 

He smiles happily, preening a little. 

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” 

He blushes, looking down.

“Uh, no, look at me.” 

He quickly looks back up. 

“You’re very beautiful.” You repeat slowly, holding his gaze as you speak. You lightly touch his face. “Kind and handsome.” You trail your hand slowly down his neck, his chest and stomach, lightly gliding your fingertips over his thick length. “All of you.”

He shivers, arching into your touch and biting down a sob when you move back. 

“I’m going to be back, okay? Just be good and stay like you are.” You stand and walk out of the room to your bedroom, 

He does exactly as you ask, trying to calm his rapid, excited breathing. 

You have a bottle in your hand when you come back in, and a pillow that you place on the floor next to him.

Robbie doesn’t look at the items, keeping his gaze fixed on you. 

“Good boy, Robbie.” You kiss his forehead, running your hand through his soft hair. 

He whines gently in the back of his throat.

“You’re being so behaved. Doing such a good job.” 

He puffs his chest out a little as you sit back down on the sofa in front of him and cross your legs.

“Now, I’ve put a pillow there, and a bottle of lube.” You gesture and he follows your hand. “What do you think I want you to do with them?” 

He bites his lip, his thoughts racing. “I…”

You wait patiently.

“I think you want me to,” he swallows, his skin flushing beautifully. “Want me to pour the lube on myself.”

“What part?” 

“On my,” he bites his lip harder and wriggles, he’s said the word plenty of times but there’s something about you asking him directly that makes him want to squirm and moan. “On my cock.” 

“Good boy.” 

He groans again. “And then, then you want me to fuck the pillow.” 

You smile. “Very good boy Robbie.” In all honesty, you didn’t have any particular thing in mind. But you thought this might be a good way to get him comfortable voicing his own desires. 

He puffs his chest out a little, eyes blown wide. 

“Go on then.” You nod your head. “I’m going to watch, make sure you do a good job and be a good boy and come.” 

He nods rapidly, spurred into action by your words. He grabs the lube and pours a hefty amount into his hand before he takes his heavy cock in one hand, the other squeezing his balls lightly as he strokes himself a few times. Then he grabs the pillow and folds it in half, then pauses. 

“Um, how, how do you… should I face you, or to the side?” He asks timidly. 

“Face me.” 

He nods eagerly and positions himself and the pillow. But before he can even think about easing forward you speak. 

“Put more lube in the pillow. Make it nice and wet.” 

He nods again, following your instructions to the letter as he empties a generous amount into the crease he’s made. He looks up at you as he gets back into position. Waiting patiently. 

“Go ahead.” You breathe.

Robbie guides himself forward, thrusting slowly into the pillow and groans. 

“Does it feel good?” 

He nods rapidly as he eases in and out at a tortuously slow pace, “Yes, yes, really good, thank you.” 

You smile, letting him close his eyes and moan sweetly as he fucks into the pillow for a few minutes at his own pace. 

“Faster.” 

His eyes snap open and to your face.

“I said faster.” 

Again, he nods rapidly, increasing the bucking of his lips and watching you until you give him an approving look. 

He whines low, pleasure spiking along his nerves as his muscles ache deliciously.

“That’s good Robbie.”

“T-thank you.” He hiccups, breathing heavily. “Feel-Feels really good.” 

You enjoy his moans and gasps for a few minutes longer, and how his skin flushes and his face contorts in pleasure.

“Slow.”

“What?” He chokes out a sob, but his hips slow to an almost stop instantly. 

“I said slow,” you repeat. “But you’re very good and did so, very, very good.” You lean forward and stroke his sweaty hair out of his eyes. 

He shivers, moaning quietly as he rocks agonisingly slowly. 

“How do you feel?” 

“Hurts.” He whines, tears in his eyes. 

“Aw, hurts?” You pout at him teasingly, still stroking his hair. “Why?” 

“Want-want,” he hiccups again, “want to come. Please?”

“Do you think you deserve that?” You ask as you sit back. 

He bites his lip and shakes his head, looking up at you with large doe eyes.

“Aww, Robbie, sweet thing, why? Why don’t you think you deserve it?” 

“I…” He swallows, looking at you beseechingly. “I don’t knoooow.” He whines, tears building in his eyes.

You lean forward, resting your arms on your knees, your face inches from his. “Well you do deserve it Robbie, you deserve it so much, you’re such a good boy, been so well behaved for me and fucking yourself so good on the pillow, putting on the best show. You deserve to come and come and feel so good and-”

He moans loudly, his hips jerking rapidly as he comes hard. His cock spurting inside the pillow and seeping into the cotton. His eyes roll back, his body shaking as bliss overcomes every nerve. 

He’s not quite sure when he blacks out, but he wakes with you cradling him on the floor covered in a warm, fluffy blanket. You’re stroking his hair and muttering soothing words.

Robbie nuzzles against you and you kiss the top of his head. “Thank you.” He mutters. 

“You feel okay, sweet thing?” 

He smiles at the pet name, wriggling closer and wrapping his arm around you. He nods. “So, so good.” 

“Good.”

Thank you for reading!

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[kabie-whump]

♡ Febuwhump Day 17: Hostage Situation ♡

@febuwhump

Content: Kidnapping, blood, bondage, neglectful team, ransom, whumper turned caretaker

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

"You might as well just let me go. They're not coming."

Whumper continues shuffling cards, not looking at Whumpee. "You keep saying that. How can you be so sure?"

"Your asking price is too high."

"Please. Don't try to tell me that your little team is broke. I know that's not true."

"They're not broke. But they won't pay all that just for me. They won't even pay half of that. You're wasting your time. And your chains." Whumpee looks down at their own body, at the way they're bound by miles of chains to the point where they can't move an inch. "Seriously, is all this really necessary?"

"I don't know what you're capable of, and I would rather not find out."

"Hm. Fair enough. Would you believe me if I promised that I'm harmless?"

"No."

"Worth a shot."

They go quiet for a while, the only sounds being Whumper's cards shuffling against the table and the steady drip of blood hitting the floor from Whumpee's injuries. An hour passes before Whumper speaks again.

"You really think they won't pay up?"

"Not for me. Maybe if you'd taken Leader..."

Whumper scoffs. "If I was powerful enough to capture Leader I wouldn't need to be taking hostages for cash in the first place."

"Yeah."

Whumpee's voice is getting softer and more slurred by the second. Whumper had noticed the change happening, but that last word was just pitiful. Whumper stands, going over to check on their hostage. They'd gone pale and the puddle of blood under their chair had grown significantly.

"You're not doing too hot, are you?" Whumper asks, squatting in front of Whumpee.

Whumpee shakes their head.

"At this rate you'll bleed out before anyone comes to save you."

"They're not coming," Whumpee says again, their voice still weak.

Whumper realizes with a start that Whumpee is tearing up. Not in the way that they did when Whumper had roughed them up for the camera. That had just been a pain response. This is genuine emotional distress.

"You're upset."

"Of course 'm upset, asshole," Whumpee slurs, the tears falling. "The fuck do you think I am?"

"Good to see you've still got your fire. But there's no reason to be upset. You're going to be fine."

"Fuck off."

"I mean it. Let's go over your options, hm? One: Your team comes for you and pays your ransom and you get to go home. Two: Your team comes for you, kills me, and you get to go home. Three: Your team doesn't come for you, and you get to stay here with me. You're going to survive no matter what."

"You told them you'd kill me if they don't come before tommorow."

"Yes, well, I was hoping to inspire a sense of urgency. Doesn't seem to have worked. I could kill you, I guess, but I'm starting to get the impression that you may be more useful then that. If your friends abandon you here, that may put you in a position where you're willing to give me some information about them. Saves me having to torture someone for it. Besides, one of my employees just kicked it so I'm in the market for new blood."

"You want me to... work for you?"

"Again, I could kill you instead if you're not going to be useful to me. I'm still deciding."

"I'd be a waste of resources. I'm not good for anything." Whumpee starts to shiver, the chains making soft clinking sounds.

"You believe that? Is that why you think they're not coming for you?"

Whumpee nods.

Something inside Whumper cracks just a little as they stare at Whumpee - pale and trembling with silent tears leaving tracks in the blood and dirt on their face.

"Alright. Let's get you stitched up. You're not bleeding out on my watch. I really don't have the energy to dispose of a body tonight."

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Next >

[staytinyville]

OUTLAW (17)

ATEEZ poly!ot8 x Reader

Cowboy AU / Wild West

Series Masterlist

Warning: Things get a bit heated, people get flustered (I BETTER SEE SOME REACTIONS CAUSE BRO EVEN I REACTED I LOVE THIS CHAPTER)

BETA READ (@mariana-mmtz)

You had been helping the boys out with moving things around the camp, tidying up as you were so used to. You could hear their bickering and giggles from inside one of the tents as you picked up their dirty clothes and things they might have left laying around. They didn’t ask for you to do their chores but seeing as they had done so much for you, you wanted to return the favor.

“Hey, doll.” You turned around to find the tall man giving you a charming smile.

“Hi, Mingi.” You whispered breathlessly.

He casually walked closer to you, making you smile as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You placed down what you had in your hands to wrap yours around his waist, rubbing your cheek against the leather of his vest. The skin of his arms made you shiver as they encased around your head. 

“You doing alright?” He asked you quietly. 

You pulled back to look at him, sighing deeply. You had a soft look on your face that made Mingi’s lips turn up. He could see how much it brought joy to you to be with them all again. It made him feel like a little kid getting praise. 

“I thought I wasn't going to see you again.” You admitted to him. “I mean, that was stupid of me to think. Ain't no way you guys were just going to leave the others in Cromer.” You shook your head as your lips wobbled. “But honestly, I thought they were going to leave without me getting to say goodbye to you all.”

Mingi’s large hand moved up to your cheek, his thumb rubbing just under your eye. He gave you a light smile to calm your racing heart. “We're all okay.” He whispered. “Nothing is going to bring us down. And you mean too much to us to just leave without saying anything.”

He sighed deeply as he took you in. “Besides, I was worried about you too.” He added.

“You were?” Your eyebrows furrowed together, lips pulled out into a pout.

“You were shaking so bad that day.” Mingi began to explain. “Wouldn't let me leave. Seonghwa had to take my place to get you to calm down. ” 

Your shoulders dropped as the first thing you felt was embarrassment. He–and possibly some of the others–had seen you in your most vulnerable state and it left you a bit bothered. You hadn’t really talked about that day with any of the boys because you felt ashamed of how you felt. Not just because of your anger, but because you felt so helpless.

However, your doubts about him seeing you in a different light faded away as he kept explaining what it was he felt that day. “I didn't want to leave you like that. It killed me to not know anything about you.”

Your breath got caught in your throat at his revelation. You could keep telling yourself multiple times that you knew what the boys meant to you, but hearing it from their mouths that you meant something to them made you feel light-headed. 

Each one of Mingi’s words swirled around in your head until you could no longer stand. They made you want to jump on your bed and kick your feet in the air from how giddy you might have felt. But his words also held heavy meaning. There was a story behind why he felt that way and it reminded you of your own feelings of self loath.

“I'm sorry for worrying you.” You told him.

“Don't apologize for that, Doll.” He bent down to be eye level with you, cradling your face in his hands. “I'll always worry about you now.” 

He stood back up as he clenched his jaw. “I have never felt so much anger until I saw you being caged in by those animals. I knew they didn't deserve mercy. Not with the way they hurt you. I will never forgive myself if that ever happened to you again.”

With how he had been expressing himself to you about that day, you were reminded all about how you felt seeing his large hat at the end of the alleyway. At first, you were terrified when the blood of the men splattered on your face but seeing his tall figure there was like a punch to the gut. Relief had washed over you in buckets and you wanted to cry from the overwhelming emotions. 

You knew Mingi wasn’t one of the boys you consider yourself to be close to. Hell, you still had so much to learn from the ones you saw on a daily basis. But having Mingi save you made you think of him differently. In your mind, you guess it was some hero complex you gave him, but the way he took care of you afterward made you feel special. 

You had gone so far into your head that day you couldn’t remember how it was you acted, but you knew it was Mingi who held you close to keep from trembling so much. He had seen you in your most vulnerable state and didn’t think twice about taking care of you. And because of that, you suddenly saw him in a different light. 

He had a tough exterior. He was rough around the edges and had a scowl that made people fear him. Mingi was an outlaw with a criminal record of murder, which should be a red flag to anyone who met him. However, you got the chance to know the real him. The one who saved you and was worried about your mental health. 

“I don't think it will if it's you who's behind me.” You laughed lightly.

“You were brave for saving that girl.” He took a step closer to you, head dipping down to touch your nose with his. “I like the fire you have. It's different from all the other people I've met.”

“Let me guess. You like it?” Your lips pulled into a smile, feeling the ghost of his own lips touching them.

“More than you'll ever know.” 

You gasp lightly as his lips touched yours, your eyes squeezing shut from the pressure that was building up in your head. Mingi easily overpowered you, not that you wanted to be the one in control. He made you melt so easily that you almost laughed into the kiss. There was a leak of adrenaline in your body that made you place your hands on Mingi’s cheeks to pull him closer. 

The kiss had been heated, both of your emotions spilling over from the time spent apart. Who knew how things would have gone had you both stayed close. Maybe being apart for so long with so much anticipation of seeing each other again created a buildup of tension. But for sure, it made the kiss all the more perfect. 

Mingi’s hand dropped down to your waist, which had you sucking in a breath. His body began to lean over yours, pushing onto you as his weight fell down. You could hear his breathing turning harsh as the hands that were on you seemed to bunch up your skirts. 

You could feel your skirts lifting as he folded up the fabric, the cold air hitting your legs. The kiss started to get aggressive the moment you felt Mingi nip at your lips. A shaky exhalation left your mouth, the sound catching on the man’s ears. His tongue slipped out, daring to taste the spit that had gathered between the two of you. Your hands made quick work of touching his skin under his vest. They moved his coat over one of his shoulders, feeling up his toned biceps as he quickly shoved the offending fabric off him. 

His body fell back on top of you, a laugh falling from your lips as the man seemed to want to be closer to you. Your body arched backwards, allowing him to cover your torso. You felt a sudden need to touch more of his skin with the way he overpowered you. 

You tried to lift your leg up, however your skirt prevented you from moving fully and growled into Mingi’s mouth, which made him flinch back to stare at you with wide eyes. You pressed your lips tightly together to keep from laughing at the blush that had overtook Mingi’s face. 

He watched for just a bit before rushing forward, taking your mouth once more. You squealed at his needy nature, hands moving to grip behind his neck. His hands didn’t shy away from moving to the back of your thighs, pulling you up with him. This time, you shoved your skirts to the side, allowing them to bunch up at your waist as your legs wrapped around Mingi’s torso. 

He was trying his hardest to not fall back as his knees seemed to weaken the more his tongue delved into your mouth. His fingers twitched around the fabric of your skirts that was hanging down. He could feel the plush of your thighs under his fingers if he gripped hard enough. 

It wasn’t until your inner thighs started to sweat that you realized where it was that you were heading with Mingi. You crossed your ankles behind him, arms wrapping themselves closer around his neck so that you were chest to chest. His own skin was heating up as well, starting to sweat from your body heat. 

When you felt your thighs suddenly clench, your muscles began to twitch with anticipation as something began to build up in the bottom of your stomach. When you realized what was happening, you let out a screech, quickly dropping your body from Mingi’s. 

The boy also let out a squeak, dropping you unceremoniously, turning around as his hands went to cover his lower half. You both turned to face the other way, avoiding looking at each other as you tried to calm down. Your body was still twitching from the stimulation, so you withered trying to get rid of the feeling. 

You weren’t dumb to what it was that you had just felt. You knew what it was like to be a single woman all alone in your 20s. While you didn’t really have much free time due to sharing a room with your sister, you still heard others talk. It was the first time you had ever felt that kind of adrenaline. While you knew you wanted more, you weren’t there just yet. 

As your heat simmered down, you slowly turned around to face Mingi. He was still hunched over, facing the other way. He was breathing heavily as he tried to calm his own temperature down. When he returned to his full height, he slowly turned around. As his eyes caught your own, a laugh started to form in your throat. 

His grimace a bit before his own lips pulled up in a laugh. Hearing your laugh made his overthinking go away, just enjoying the fact that you weren’t yelling at him. Or worse, regretting what it was he did. 

Just as Mingi was going to say something to you, Seonghwa had called to you both from outside the tent. “Mingi! Have you seen Pretty Girl?” The older male said, opening the flap to the tent.

“I'm right here, Hwa.” You answered with a soft smile, stepping around Mingi. “Who made dinner?” You grinned, picking up the things you had dropped when Mingi came in.

“Wooyoung.” Seonghwa gave you a bright smile, putting his arm around your shoulders. “He was excited to cook for you.”

You looked over to Mingi who had a soft look on his face. His arms were crossed over his chest, but he was relaxed. You nodded your head in the direction of the opening, signaling to Mingi to come along. 

“Let me go see what he made up then.”

Series Masterlist

@thefrog3223 , @iarayara , @0rangemilk , @explorewithd , @detectivedoodle , @bangtanxberm , @a1i33a , @loveforred , @drunken-deitence , @0325tiny , @the-ghostest-with-the-mostest , @atinyreads , @atinytinaa , @lexiigom , @smilingtokkii , @mismatchfluffysocks , @brain-empty-only-draken , @sousydive , @alex-tinyy , @h3arteyes4mingi , @onedumbho3

[bengals-barnesbabe]

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Singer!FemReader

Summary: From the LSU Tigers to the Cincinnati Bengals, their friendship never faded. Their feelings, however, grew stronger and even more oblivious. So obviously this was the job for Venus’ closest friends. Or will 3 years of dancing around each other crash down in 3 days?

Chapter 17: Operation Tiger

#Track9 Masterlist

Warnings: men with feelings, lots of feelings, all the feels, foul language, oblivious characters, angst with a happy ending.

A/N: ITS OUT! I DID IT and now I'm never reading it again, but y'all enjoy. If there are some grammar errors blame Grammarly (we got into a fight at 4 am). Also I edited this while having a dumb allergic reaction to my cat.

Word Count: 5.6k

Part Six 🖤

Friendships are a beautiful thing. Friend groups should be cherished for what they’re worth. These groups are rare, not because they’re hard to make but because they’re hard to keep. All friend groups have rules to keep the status quo for everyone involved. Team Shiesty even had some before they were ever known as Team Shiesty. An unspoken rule that they shared with all other friend groups was:

No one in the group should date anyone else in said group.

Fortunately for them that rule had yet to be broken.

Unfortunately for them two of their founding members had fallen for each other before the group could fully assemble. Which leads us to Operation Tiger. Our quarterback and Venus had been dancing around each other for far too long so the Atlanta natives of the group took it amongst themselves to create a new rule.

If your best friend is hopelessly in love and extremely oblivious to her suitor’s feelings for her, you HAVE TO INTERVENE.

˚₊‧ʚ♡ɞ‎‧₊˚

“If there’s one thing I don't miss about Atlanta, it's that damn traffic.” Venus lays back in her seat as the calmness of the suburbs settles in around her. Joe sat beside her in the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel and the other tapping the hood as they came to a traffic light. He can’t help but smile at the look of pure boredom on the girl's face.

“I don’t understand why you wanted to drive 2 hours through awful traffic when you could've just hired a driver.” 

“Some of us like driving, you know. Plus it wasn’t that bad.” He shrugged as she pointed out the entrance to her parents' subdivision. 

“Yea yea, take your next 2 lefts then the first right and we’ll be at the house.” He nodded, following the directions through the never-ending neighborhood. 

“I remember absolutely hating it when we moved here. Part of that was just because I was in middle school, so I hated just about everything.”

“You think we would’ve been friends back then if we somehow went to the same school?” He asked jokingly before taking the last right. 

“Honestly J? Maybe? I was an emo chorus girl, but I wasn’t really afraid to talk to anyone if I needed to. I was also kinda nerdy so there’s that.” She shrugged. Soon they reached the cul de sac next to her house and he parked at the end of the driveway.

“Well I was the nerdy jock going through a very awkward puberty stage, so you would have never talked to me. You were probably too cool for me.” He smirked.

Venus playfully smacked his arm and shook her head, “I don't know what Mars told you, but I was not cool, I just talked to people.” Looking up at the light maroon house before her, the hidden anxiety about Joe meeting her parents crept its way back to her mind. 

‘But you were just friends, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, right?’

“You okay?” A shiver made its way up her spine before turning to the baby blue-eyed blond. “Take as long as you need, but I’m pretty sure someone saw us pull in.” He smiled. Blinding.

She attempted to match his expression, “I’m good. Just mentally preparing for the drama film that we’re about to walk into.”

Joe chuckled while pulling the key from the ignition and softly caressing her fidgeting hand. “Let’s go make you the main character then.” She let out a jittery laugh and attempted to shake the nerves off, but her fingers tangled with a loose string of her shirt. ‘Maybe this set wasn’t the best idea.’

Slowly her door was pulled open revealing Joe there with his hand out. Venus took a deep breath and let her friend guide her towards the door. Before either of them could knock or ring the bell, the door was yanked open by a girl with shoulder-length locs.

“Fucking finally! Come here.” Venus squeals as her best friend crushes her in her arms. A fruity but earthy perfume and castor oil fill her senses, images of the days when they walked around the mall complaining about their parents and school teachers flashed in her mind.

“I missed you so much babes.” They break away to wipe away the stray tears that had been shed.

She cupped and smushed Venus’ cheeks with her hands. “I missed you more, you’ve been held hostage by Louisiana long enough. I almost forgot how short you were.” Venus gasped and punched her in the arm.

“I take all of it back, I hate you.” She smirked.

Mars smiled while rubbing her arm, “damn, I forgot how hard you hit.”

“Can y’all move away from the door, so I can see this bitch?” A voice pleaded from behind them.

Mars rolled her eyes then moved over so the curly haired Latina could have a turn. “RiRi.” 

“Oh good, you still look how we left you.” She smirked before pulling her old roommate into a hug. 

“I’m going to try and not take offense to that because I’m excited to see you.”

“What? It’s nice to know that Louisiana or anyone else didn't change you.” She says, eyeing the man behind her.

“Yea speaking of height, can we address the giraffe in the room?” Mars winks, tipping her head like an imaginary hat.

Joe chuckled then ran his hand through his hair. “Guys, this is Joe. Joey, these are my best friends in the entire world, Riana and Mars.” 

“Hey, you can call me Joey if you want. It’s really nice to meet you.” He smiles and awkwardly waves.

“Ohhh I see the appeal now. You’re the silent awkward athlete who likes to surprise people with his abilities.” Mars points out.

“Really? I can see some fuckboy tendencies from here.” Riana replied. 

Venus was dumbfounded, “you just met- can yall bitches be nice, damn?” 

They shared the same smirk before properly introducing themselves to the quarterback, then winked at their friend before retreating into the kitchen. 

“I’m sorry about-

Before she could finish her dad walked into the room. His eyes went to hers, Joe’s then right back to hers with a smirk, he shook his head and grabbed a jacket from the coat rack beside him. Oh fun.

“Y/n, my daughta! Who have you brought into my kingdom today man?” A loud off-key Jamaican accent fills the air as he pulls on an Atlanta Falcons bomber jacket.

Joe stifles a laugh as Venus’ face deadpans. “Joe, this is my father- don't take him seriously. Dad please.” 

The man raised a brow and smirked. “I know not of what I’ve done to earn this treatment oh! This man of anotha tribe threatens my position, I must take charge.”

Venus leans back with her arms crossed. “Did you and Malik watch Black Panther again? Cause your M’Baku impression isn’t any better, probably because you were raised in New York and not Wakanda.”

Her father shrugs and pulls her into a hug. “Maybe I just wanted to embarrass you in front of your new boyfriend, you know show him who’s boss around here.” He winks in Joe’s direction.

As he kisses her head, she pulls away and thumps him on the back of his. “Well, you’ve succeeded- with the first part! Everyone knows I’m the real boss around here.”

The old man snorts. “Yes, yes I know. She’s been bossing me around since she learned to walk, so I’m excited for someone else to take that place.” Making his daughter roll her eyes as he winks again.

“She does have a nook for making sure things go her way.” Joe chuckled.

Venus whirls around a smacks his arm. “You two are not supposed to be ganging up on me, you’re not even supposed to like each other right now.” 

Joe rubs his arm feigning an injury. “I can’t even play anymore, I should see a doctor.” 

While her dad punches the air. “Yes, finally a win for my Falcons. I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. I’d like to thank my wife for agreeing to go on that date with me, my daughter for injuring her star quarterback boyfriend-

Venus gapes at the dramatic men, then shakes her head and walks away. “I can not believe this is happening, he’s not even my boyfriend. How do I find these ridiculous people?”

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

After meeting the rest of Y/n’s family, Joe was finally able to shake some tension off his shoulders. For the past few days, all he could think about was this moment. Football he could practice, he knew the expectations on that field. But this, meeting the parents of the woman written all over his heart, was anxiety-inducing. No amount of preparation could prepare him for how it will all eventually go down. He hoped they’d be overjoyed and give him their blessing and by the way it’s going, he’s more than hopeful for this outcome. 

The plan leading up today today was she would catch a flight to Cincinnati Thursday night and then fly to Atlanta together the next evening. Nowhere in the plan did it say that Y/n could show up Tuesday night completely unprovoked and surprise him after he got back from practice. 

Even though they had been friends for years, he had never been so nervous to be around her for those 3 days. He tried to remain as calm and normal as possible; they joked around, cooked together, and shared the same bed as they normally would. 

Joe wasn't a total idiot, he knew their relationship was tiptoeing along the lines of something more. But after a year of helplessly pursuing her in college, he thought it’d be better if they were just friends. Eventually, he gave up on that idea altogether because, with the feelings he was harboring for her and Ja’Marr’s constant need to nag him about how dumb the situation was, the only one that needed convincing was her.

But this weekend was what he was playing the long game for, it’s his final chance to come clean about how he truly felt. And he hoped those feelings were reciprocated or the entire weekend would be a bust. And he definitely wouldn’t be playing the best tomorrow.

As soon as she left the room the temperature felt like it had been dialed to 100, Joe had never wished he had his headband so badly without being in the middle of a grueling practice. Her father gestured to the white couch behind him and they took a seat. 

“Your home is beautiful.” Joe starts as he’s trying to conceal his nervousness, but the constant wiping of his palms on his jeans tells another story. 

“Thank you, I assume Y/n told you that she hated it when we first got it.” Her dad chuckled trying to lighten the air. 

“Oh yeah, the whole moody middle school bit too.” He could only imagine what she was thinking about this interaction and how wrong it would be when it was revealed. 

“If someone had told me that kids didn’t like moving so close to their school, then maybe we wouldn't be here. But that’s not what I want to talk about and I doubt you’re here to hear about how much I don’t know my daughter.” The older man smirked.

“How’d you guess? But yeah, there’s something I felt would be best to talk about in person, if that’s okay with you, sir?” The quarterback clasps his hands together and straightens his spine.

“I thought so. How long have you been in love with her?” Joe’s eyes widen and his mouth dries as the gentleman relaxes his stance.

“F- shit sorry, wasn't expecting you to- wow um how did you know?”

The dad lets out a dry chuckle, “I’ve been in your spot before. I know what a hopeless man in love looks like and you didn’t take an eye off of her until she was completely out of your sight.”

“She seems to be the only one that hasn’t noticed it, but as cheesy as it sounds I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t in love with her. I’ve never been one to believe in myths like ‘love at first sight,’ but there’s no other way to describe it. I transferred to LSU for a fresh start, I just wanted to play football then when life finally started working out in my favor, she walked in. She’s funny, beautiful, smart, talented- the whole package. I’m kinda glad we didn’t date back then, I know it was only two years ago but I wasn’t ready for a woman like her.” He smiles fondly as the memories of them flash through his mind.

“And what about now, do you think you’re ready to start a relationship with my daughter that could potentially last a lifetime?” For the first time, Joe looks your father in his eyes with no fear or anxiety.

“Sir you don’t understand, I mean you do, but I’ve pictured Y/n as my future since we met. I grew up pretty well off, but I wanted to put in the work doing something I love so I could provide what I had for my future family. After a year in the league, there’s only one thing missing from my life, and it’s her. I mean I spent 3 days with her just in the house and I felt like I could do that for the rest of my life. I’ve known that she’s the one for me since we met, now all I need to do is finally tell her that.” 

The old man smiles as a few tears streak down his face, he wipes them away and then holds out his hand to the young quarterback. Joe takes his hand and gets pulled into a tight hug. “There’s nothing that makes me happier than when someone shows the same love and devotion to my little girl that I’ve been trying to show her for years. As long as you promise to keep a smile on her face and love in her heart, you have all the blessings in the world from me. Thank you, Joe.”

They let go with permanent grins on their faces. “No need for that, I’d do anything for her.”

“Good. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”  

“So, you think she believes that we’ve been talking about ‘ball this whole time?” Joe joked.

“As long as she stayed out of this room, 100 percent. She’s clueless when it comes to it, so we could make up a term and she’d be convinced.” The men share a laugh before a head pops out of the kitchen.

“Hey, you guys hungry? Food’s ready. Let’s eat everyone!” Her mom announces.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

As the food is going around the table, Venus sneaks off to grab her purse. By the time everyone is settled, she clears her throat and stands next to her father. 

“So, I have something to tell you guys. No, I’m not pregnant, dating, engaged, married, or dying; before you start to conjure up some random assumptions.” She glared at Malik, her younger brother, who was holding in a laugh.

“First, I just want to thank everyone for coming. I know the last 2 years apart were hard but ‘time makes the heart grow fonder’ says some random dead guy.” Most of the table chuckles. “But seriously, I’m glad all my best friends could meet and hopefully talk about how much of an amazing person I am.”

“Venus keep talking and I’ll tell him all about how amazing you were in high school.” Mars smiles as the girl’s eyes slightly widen.

“Okay, as most of you should know, there’s this little game happening tomorrow. Nothing big or fancy, and I definitely didn’t bring one of the players to dinner, but I digress.” She shrugs extremely unbothered, causing her father and the quarterback to snort.

“Since I now hold the title of Assistant Physician Technician at Baton Rouge Clinic, I still have no money thanks to my glorious student loans. But y’all should still thank me for becoming best friends with some random football guys because everyone will be attending their first NFL game tomorrow night.” She cheesed fanning herself with their game day tickets.

Joe smirked as she sat down after handing over the passes. “Wow, and you said they were dramatic.” 

“Did you or did you not say that I was gonna be the main character when we walked in? I’m just doing your expectations justice.” Joe shook his head and draped his arm over her chair while pulling her a bit closer with his leg.

After dinner, all the women, except Venus per her mom’s request, help clean up the table and take the leftovers to the kitchen. 

“I don’t understand why we can’t drag Y/n over here to help.” Riana scoffs. 

Amina, Venus’s mom, shushes her and pulls the two girls into the empty dining room. “I’m having Malik distract her so we can talk about what is going on between my daughter and that footballer.”

The girls share the same knowing and scheming expression. “We may have an idea about that.” Mars starts.

“Yes, and what is it?” Amina crosses her arms.

Riana glances into the living room to make sure no one is eavesdropping, “ok they really are just friends right now, but we know that they have really strong feelings for each other. I came up with a plan to finally get V to do something about the tension and I’m very proud of it.” She smiles.

Mars rolls her eyes and rubs her temples. “Her plan is absolutely ridiculous, but we know it’s going to work because we’ve been friends long enough to know what makes that girl tick. So it involves his ex, a woman she hated more than anything when they were dating.”

The African mother nods but sucks her teeth, “why hasn’t she told me anything?”

“Cause you’re scary. Ow-” Mars elbows Riana before butting in. 

“She didn’t even want to tell us until we kinda forced it out of her. She doesn’t want to let herself revel in it for too long because she doesn't want to get her heart broken again.” She stretches the truth just a bit, the older woman did not need to know how their relationship actually worked. 

“That makes sense, ok go back out there.” The girls let out a much-needed breath as they were dismissed. “Wait, what do you mean again!”

Back in the living room, your brother is sitting on your dad’s armchair flipping through a photo album dedicated to your childhood. The three-seater next to him is now occupied by your mom and friends, while you and Joe are sharing a two-seater on the other side of the armchair. After learning the truth about you, your mom takes special notice of the fact that you’re sitting with your legs across Joe’s lap and one of his palms wrapped around your ankle.

“Oh look here’s a pic of Y/n trying to catch balloons while her pants are falling down.” Malik attempts to show J before you yank the book out of his hands.

“Ok, that’s enough, let’s put the album away now.” 

“Hey we were getting to the best part, I was in the next frame.” He fake pouts.

The scowl painted on your face causes him to break out into another laughing fit. “I despise you.”

“Come on babe, it wasn't that bad,” Joey smirks, then looks down at his phone. 

He just called me- which doesn't matter because you’re best friends duh. 

“Shi- it’s almost 7, we gotta go. I have to meet with Taylor in like an hour.”

“Why so late?”

“Who’s Taylor?”

“Taylor Swift?”

“A meeting past 5 pm is a criminal offense.”

“Y’all are so unbelievably nosy.” 

Joe throws his head back laughing. “I love your family, I don’t know why you didn't introduce us sooner.” Yea.. I definitely don't know.

“Zac Taylor’s his head coach. Remember there’s kind of a game tomorrow.”  

“Yeah and I may have ditched a meeting so we could drive up here,” J says sheepishly, once he’s done dying of laughter.

During his fit of laughter, some of his hair flung out of place giving him a more shaggy look. “You didn’t have to come if it was gonna get you in trouble.” Forgetting where you are for a moment, you begin to fluff out the front of his blond locks, then rake your fingers through the rest before settling on the back of his neck. 

His fond eyes meet yours. “I wanted to, plus you were just gonna make the trip yourself or end up ranting about not going while I’m trying to sleep?” 

You squinted and shrugged. “Touché.”

“Wait, you’re sharing a hotel room?” Your brother’s voice breaks you out of your bubble. When you look up, everyone’s eyes are glued to you. You’re now hyper-aware of your hand that’s been gently scratching his neck, your legs that somehow always end up in his lap, and the cautious hold he has on them. 

Removing yourself from his space, you begin to gather your stuff. “Um yeah, there was an empty spot that was already paid for and J offered me the bed.” 

There were no prepaid rooms left. 

“That’s very nice of you Joe.” Riana winked. 

A deep flush crept up his face, “It was nothing, what are friends for.” 

Mars beamed, “Exactly. He knows the real value of friendship. I mean look at him, breaking preset rules about boy-girl friendships.”

Your brows furrowed as you studied the two women. “Okay? We’re going to go now. Thank you for everything and I’ll see y'all tomorrow at the game.”

Your mother’s face brightened as you hugged then walked towards the door. Joe dapped up your dad and brother following your exit. “Thanks for the chat.” He smiled, then joined you in the rental. 

“That went really well.” You relax buckling your seatbelt

“Mhmm, told you you were anxious for no reason. Shit I was worried for no reason.” Joe says as he puts the car in reverse.

“You were anxious, really?”

He nods. “Oh yeah, more than you think.”

“Huh, I couldn’t tell. Hey if this NFL thing doesn’t work out maybe you should try acting. Today’s performance was outstanding.” You chuckled.

“Yeah absolutely not, I can barely do commercials and they want me to ‘be myself’ or whatever that means.” He shakes his head as your laughter bellows.

The ride back to the hotel was peaceful, the roads were clear, and the sky filled with stars, it was the perfect night. Until Joe’s phone started buzzing every 5 seconds. He tried to ignore it by listening to cars zooming by, but whoever it was really wanted his attention.  

He sighed. “Could you get that for me?” 

“You’re very popular tonight.” You snorted, then picked up the phone. Your face dimmed as you read the series of ‘I miss you’ texts all coming from the same number. It was unknown but you could tell they weren’t from some random fling. Your gaze was locked on each message, you could bet money on who they were from. She used to be obsessed with the idea of him. He gave her a chance for a few months, she started changing him into someone else. He stopped hanging out with you as often and-

“Who is it?” 

“If it’s Zac just tell him we’re on our way.” His words floated around unanswered. 

“Y/n?”

You broke out of your trance and looked over at the man driving before quickly turning your attention to the world outside the window, “it was nothing. Wrong number.”

The phone was placed on ‘do not disturb’ and forgotten about for the rest of the ride. 

The atmosphere in the car didn’t change from that moment, a perfect silence was replaced with a frigid one. You spaced out for the remainder of the ride, not wanting to show how it affected you. Joe noticed the odd silence but dismissed it as fatigue from the long day. Which it was, that could never ruin the comfortableness of their surroundings.

The car finally pulled into the Hilton valet entrance around 10, you unbuckled yourself then sunk into the seat. The late hour meant you had to wait for someone to come outside, in the meantime you attempted to lose yourself in the night sky. The antsy feeling bubbling under your skin was beginning to eat away your patience. Joe, finally able to get a good look at you, watched the way your knees bounced, the way your hands were picking at themselves and the lack of attention towards him.

“Ok what’s wrong, you were fine all night until you saw my phone. So what’s bothering you?” 

You scoffed, it’s just like guys to identify the problem not even realizing it was the problem. “It’s nothing, I’m fine.”

“Fine, if you aren’t going to talk then I will.” Your gaze was unwavering from the doors of the Hilton.

“Damn okay, look I feel like I’ve been trying to say this for the last two years, clearly I haven’t been very successful. Y/n I don’t like us being so far apart. I mean, location wise and relationship wise- yea. Fuck. Joe just do it.” Some part of you would’ve laughed at his inability to coherently express himself, but you couldn’t get past the irony.

“I really like you Y/n, I have for a long time and-

Shaking your head, you can’t help the words that start flying out, “bullshit. How can you say that when Megan or some random bitch is constantly blowing up your phone?”

“Megan? Y/n there’s nothing going on between us anymore, that ended over a year ago. You are the only woman I have feelings for, I don’t care about whoever’s in my DMs or calling me up.” As he went on the feelings of doubt still lingered.

“I somehow don’t believe that Joe, call me fucking insecure but if you wanted me to believe that you would’ve blocked the numbers. It’s like you wanted to know that they’ll always want you and you can go back whenever you want.” Your vision began to blur with unshed tears. You don’t believe the words falling from your lips, this has never been a problem between you. But this is more than just a fight with your best friend.

“I don’t know what I can do to convince you that you’re the only one I care about.” He huffed laying back in his seat. Then his eyes widen, “wait you wouldn’t feel this way if you didn’t also have feelings for me.” A bit of hope fills his chest.

“So what?” You finally meet his crystal blue eyes. “You clearly have other priorities, so let’s just leave it at that. I’m tired so let’s just talk tomorrow.” With that, you left the car and entered the hotel.

“Y/n! Wait!”

The next few minutes are a blur, the bellhop rushes past you to help with the bags as you hand the lady at the desk your ID. Once she hands you your key, you b-line to the elevator, not waiting for a second. By the time Joe gets to the desk, you’re already in the room.

The lady at the desk confirms his identity and reminds him of the meeting he has with Taylor, but all he can think about is how this night went so bad so fast. He takes the elevator to the 12th floor where both their room and the meeting are and enters the one cracked open while his bags are wheeled further down the hall.

“Well look who’s decided to grace us with his presence. You were supposed to be back over an hour ago.” His manager, Dan, presses.

Joe takes a seat at the opposite side of their round table and runs his fingers through his hair. “Shit happens, can we start now?”

Coach Taylor takes a note of his behavior and quickly runs through everything he needs to know. He lectures for a total of 20 minutes and answers questions for 10 before he runs out of material. The entire time Joe took the sloppiest notes of his life and couldn’t care less about what the chicken scratch said. “Well that’s it, any other comments, questions or concerns?”

“How do you make a girl listen to you?” 

That raises the older mens’ attention just as quickly as when he walked in.

Zac speaks up first, “in my experience you need to have something to say that’s worth listening to.”

“I told her that I love her.”

Dan’s eyes widened. “Y/n?” The player nodded.

“And she didn’t believe you?” He nodded again.

“What happened before you said it?”

“Nothing, she was quiet the entire ride but something changed during the last 10 minutes. I got some spam texts from an unknown number and she got awkward. Then when we got here she brought it up again, but it didn’t make sense. She had no reason to be upset.” He huffed.

The older men looked at him amused. “What?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Did you read what the messages said?”

He shrugged. “No, why would I?” 

“I don’t know man, maybe because she read them and got upset.” Zac pondered.

“Give me your phone.” He hands over the device per his manager’s request. The man quickly goes through the messages before putting the phone back in his eye line. “Read it, aloud.”

“I miss you….. Why was she replying? She doesn’t compare….leeching off you…taking advantage. What the fuck?” His brows knitted. 

“Now do you see why she was mad?” Dan smirked.

“Fuck, I need to fix this.” Joe gets up and marches towards the door. “Oh and thanks for the help. I’ve been saying that a lot today.”

By the time Joe enters the room, he’s got a full speech in his head that he's gone over several times and he’s prepared to unleash it immediately upon seeing you. Except there’s no trace of you in the room. Your bags are gone, your phone isn’t near a bed, neither of beds even look like they’ve been touched. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. There’s no way I messed up for a third time.” 

He starts pacing the room. This was supposed to be his chance, this was going to be the story he tells the grandkids. They were supposed to hear about their great love story and carry on his legacy. But instead he’s going to die that weird uncle that’s obsessed with cartoons and UFC. 

He finally sits down in the chair next to your bed facing the downtown skyline replaying the day’s events in his head and completely ignoring the door next to his own.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

The second you got to the room all you wanted was a hot shower to help relieve some of the stress and tension from the car. It only took about 5 minutes for the young bellhop to come to the door, you gave him his tip, grabbed your duffle and went straight to the bathroom. You oiled your scalp then placed a shower cap over your hair and spent 30 minutes underneath the boiling water. 

After doing your much needed self care routine, you left the bathroom steamy and with 40% less stress than before you started. You softly shut the door then turned around to see a figure sitting next to your bed.

“Joey?” He gets up and slowly turns around, the sight of his red eyes, tear stained cheeks and messy hair makes you crumble.

“Oh my god, what-

Before you could finish he takes a few long strides towards you and pulls you into him. “Baby what happened?”

“I can’t lose you again.” He croaked. “Y/n, it’s always been you. I love you more than anything. Nothing she said in those texts was true, I’d give you the world with everyone still on it. You’re my biggest supporter, you’re the only one that knows me on a deeper level than -fucking- myself. I don’t wanna go another minute without you knowing how much you mean to me, how much I fucking love you and how much I’d do anything just to make you smile. I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you. I just wanted it to be perfect, I wanted to have a story that would transcend galaxies. I-

“Joey!”

He finally stops and stares into your eyes. “I always loved how rich and glittery your eyes got when you’re in the light.”

What a goof.

You rolled those glittery eyes, pulled him down by his collar and crashed your lips against his. After the initial shock wears off, he returns it making you sink into his hold. His hands dig into the softness of your waist and your arms wrap around his neck with your fingers immediately finding their home scratching and running through his hair. His hands wander further down mapping every inch of your body before one softly grips the meat of your ass causing a ‘gasp’ to leave your lips giving him the opening to allow his tongue to explore more of your mouth. Your bodies rock together until your knees hit the edge of his bed and you fall into it without breaking apart your lips. He grabs a hold of your thighs and flips you over so you’re on top. A sharp tug at his roots releases a deep vibrating groan that causes flutters in your lower stomach. 

“Joey.” A whine finally breaks you from the heat of his mouth. You open your eyes to his dazed eyes and smiling bruised lips. “Yea?”

“I love you too.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Main Masterlist

Taglist: @light-yagami-l

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A/N: As always: likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated and welcomed.

[jaidens]

The Taste Of Your Lips Is My Idea Of Luxury

pairing [s] : dallas winston x reader

warning [s] : | good golly am I obsessed with matt dillon lord. | kissing | guys can we remember that dallas is 17!!

a/n [s] : requests are open

Dallas wasn't a romantic by any means. Sylvia was an unfortunate woman to think that he was. It wasn't like Dally had good examples of romance and love in his house. After his father lost his money to a gambling addiction, and his mother eventually gave up her love for Dallas’ father. So, inherently, it wasn't his fault for growing up in a household of disrespect and yelling.

However, everything seemed to flip in a good direction.

On a cold Wednesday morning, Dallas approached you. A cigarette hanging out of his soft pink lips, and a mysterious look in his eyes. He coughed quietly, in an attempt to get your attention. You looked up at him, and raised your eyebrow. “Yes? Do you need something?” With a sudden attitude at the distraction of your studying that's laid out on the diner table. “Ah.. man don't be like that. Anyone sittin’ here?” Dallas asks pointing at the seat in front of you.

You shake your head ‘no’ before going back to your studying. You chew on the end of a pencil as Dallas watches your eyes trace over the pages. “What are you studying for?” He says, attempting to make conversation with you. He recognizes you're obviously not interested in his words when you give him a dangerous look. “I'm just asking man.. not trying to get into your business.” Dallas’ hands go in the air before he sits back and groans out. The kind waitress walks over to the table you're sharing and fills up the coffee cup that Dallas has sitting on the table.

“Are you just going to sit there? Or are you actually going to do something?” You ask him and he raises his eyebrow this time at you, before he smirks. “I am doing something, baby. I'm watching you.” You can't lie that the thick accent and drawl to his voice doesn't send shivers of desire down your spine. You roll your eyes at him before you begin to laugh at his audacity.

“Don’t laugh at me. Lemme’ take you to a movie tonight, and I swear I'll leave you alone for good.” It isn't a bad idea and you nod at him. “Sure yeah I'll go. You're paying.” He smiles at you before standing up and going to leave. You admire him as he leaves and you watch him through the windows as he walks to the red T-Bird. He pumps his arms in the air and knows he finally won someone over.

Then comes 7:30 and your phone rings. You answer it and pull the telephone to your ear before twisting the cord in-between your fingers. “Hey man. I'm gonna pick you up in twenty minutes yeah? Can I have your address?” You smile at the sound of Dally’s voice appearing through the phone. “Yeah. I'll be ready.” As well as that, you tell him your address and he says “See you soon.”

You can't help but get warm inside as you hang the phone back up. Your mom is sitting on the couch watching The Doris Day show and laughing. “Who was that love?” Your mother asks, turning her head to look at you. “Oh.. I'm just going on a date with a boy. We're going to the movies.” She squeals and tells you to come sit down next to her. You do it and she puts her hand on your leg and shakes it. “Tell me about him! Is he handsome?”

You feel your cheeks warm and you smile and nod. “He’s real handsome. He's got these dark eyes and dark hair. He's tall too..” Your mom smiles at you and looks into your eyes. “I remember when I met your father, he made out with me on his motorcycle—” You moan and roll your eyes. “Oh ew! Mom! I don't wanna hear about that.” She laughed once more and slapped your thigh gently. She turned her head once more before telling you to go get ready for your date.

You jumped up off the couch and went to go get ready. You run upstairs to your bedroom and open your closet doors. You chose an outfit from the many choices you have, and you pull it on. It's December which has ended up with Tulsa weather being low thirty's at night. You decidedly wore a thick sweater and warm pants your friend gifted you. You read through a magazine while you wait for Dallas to show up, and as you're reading your mother calls your name.

“Someone’s here for you!” Which makes you sit up with a smile and chase down the stairs to the front door. There stays Dallas, clad in a leather jacket and thick jeans with a smile on his face. Your father is talking to him about curfew and to not mess with you. You put your hand on your dad's shoulder and he relaxes. “Hi Dallas. Are you ready?” He nods and holds his hand out for you. It's unusual, the way he's acting. You're guessing it's for your parents' approval of your relationship.

Once you get far enough away, the smile drops from Dally’s mouth and he pulls out a cigarette and lights it on his necklace. “Man. That was hard.” He's smoking on the cancer-stick, and opens your car door. You step in and close it before he jumps into the driver's seat and turns the car on. “What? Meeting my parents who are so far up their ass they can see through their own eyes?” Dallas laughs and starts driving away. “Yeah. Your mom was like— man she was like giggling the entire time.”

Now it's your turn to laugh alongside Dallas. You know he isn't good, and he especially isn't a good idea to be with him. However, the thrill of him is only pulling you further into the dangerous thought of Dallas Winston. “The movies are playing some random movie. I'll just buy tickets for whatever you wanna see.” His soft brown eyes are staring into yours, and you're convinced his cigarette is on the edge of falling out of his mouth but he catches it and goes to stare at the road once more.

He pulls into the main road, where the movie cinema is. You read the movies and light up at one. “Oh I've been dying to see that one!” Dallas smiles and parks the car before you both get out. You grab his hand and get close to him and start walking. “I think I forget how cold it gets here.” Dallas jokes before hanging the man at the counter the correct amount of money as he handed Dallas the tickets.

You held small talk with Dallas, asking him where he grew up and his life before Tulsa. He answers you while he grabs popcorn and a drink for you to share with him. You follow him into the movie theater and go to your selected seats. It's almost right in the middle, but it has a small amount of privacy. You start chewing on popcorn as he sits down next to you. “Hey man.. I'm glad you came with me. Ponyboy and Johnny are studying. Boring.” You gently punch his shoulder and start looking at the screen as the movie begins to shutter on.

The movie is fun and new to you, and you laugh alongside everyone else. However, if you even asked Dallas about the movie, he would go completely blank because the entire time he was admiring you. Between his staring and your head laying on his shoulder and the way his shoulder vibrates when you laugh at a joke or funny scene in the movie. He's worried you can see the way his heart beats out of his chest.

The movie ends and you turn to look at Dallas, who is already looking back at you. “Did you like it?” It's like you pop him back into the real world. His eyes widen and he nods. “Yeah, yeah. It was nice.” You smile at him and Dallas swears he started melting inside. He doesn't understand how you got more beautiful with tired eyes and a smile on your face, but he sure does like it. “Now, cmon. I'm tired and wanna go to sleep in my bed.”

He nods and picks up the popcorn and drink trash and follows your slow movements as you stretch. Gosh, he bets he looks like a lost puppy as he follows you around. While he throws everything away, you lay your head on his shoulder once more. “Thanks for taking me. I swear I'll make it up to you.” Dallas’ hand falls to the side of your head and shakes it. “Nah. No need. I'm taking you out..” His thick accent rings and he smiles at you.

You're staring at his profile, and you notice the small things no one would have. The small freckles that pepper across his nose and the burn he has on his lips from incorrect form with his cigarettes. God, isn't he real pretty under red and purple light that surrounds the theater? You take a look outside of the window and see the snowflakes that are lit up by yellow street lights. “It’s snowing Dal. Ain't it pretty?” You're holding onto his arm and stare out the window. “It is ain't it? Well, I gotta get you home before your Dad kills me.”

You laugh at his words and follow him outside, with his hand in a gentle tight hold. You shiver at the quick impact of the freezing weather. You run to the car and sit down in the seat, wrapping your arms around your body as Dallas sits down as well and turns on the car and lets it heat up. A few moments later, it is warmer and he finally starts driving. Your eyes feel heavy and your vision blurs as you fall asleep again the window.

You wake up as the car stops, with Dallas’ leather jacket draped over you and the air turned to your face. The radio is playing one of your favorite songs, but Dallas knows it's your favorite station on the radio. Everything feels warm and dizzy as you turn and stare at his soft eyes. “We’re here.” He lets out with a sigh. You can tell he doesn't want you to go. Your hand goes to his thigh and you see his gentle eyes going from yours to your lips.

You lean in and close your eyes and feel the way his lips push against yours. Dallas hand cradles your face and you can't help but push into him. You pull away a few moments later and it ends with a longing stare. “That was— real nice.” You tell him before gathering your bag and the jacket that lies on you. You hadn't even realized it wasn't yours as you walked out of the car.

His car doesn't leave until you wave at him through your bedroom window. Your mother knocks on the door before she walks into your room. You're sitting on your bed practically buzzing with excitement and pure love that's coursing through your veins. “How was the date, honey?” You sit up and almost let out a giggle and kick your legs. “Awh, Mama. It was amazing! We kissed at the end and I think I felt sparks on our lips.”

Your mother smiles at your absolutely enamoured eyes and a big smile that nearly surrounds your entire face. She grabs your hands and kisses your cheeks. “Well it seems it went well! I think he is real handsome. He looks like your father in the 50s.” You stick your tongue out at your Mom's example of Dallas. “Bleh. But, he is so fine Mom. He's got these big brown eyes that you get lost in and these lips that are so kissable.”

It ends with you and your Mom talking all about boys you've both loved. Dallas is the King Of Your Heart, and he's caught it completely in his fist and he isn't tending to drop it anytime soon.

[sholiofic]

Whumptober Day 17: Nowhere Else To Go

This is a comforty follow-up to the Blood Trail | Abandoned Cabin one (aka shot Erich in the snow). You should probably read that one first.

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | “We had a good run.”

Also posted on DW.

By the time they reached the Auster across a long expanse of white, von Stalhein was shivering, slumping heavily on Biggles and stumbling as he struggled to drag his feet through the snow. Fresh red droplets appeared, now and then, beneath the blood-soaked coat sleeve on his left side.

Biggles was shivering himself by that time. His trouser legs were soaked through, and his entire body ached from the effort of not only pushing through the snow but also half carrying von Stalhein. The tiny shape of the Auster parked in the snow, and the camp beside it, seemed to waver in his vision, growing no closer.

Von Stalhein muttered harshly in his ear, "You go on ahead. I will be right behind you."

"I'm not in a hurry," Biggles panted, tightening his grasp on the other man's coat. "A scenic stroll through the snow ... just the way to end a long day."

Von Stalhein huffed something that might have been an exhausted laugh. Holding on to each other, they stumbled on—and then abruptly they weren't alone, there were hands on them, worried voices, Bertie on one side and Ginger on the other. Von Stalhein came suddenly to life, jerked away as if anticipating an attack, but when Biggles, very nearly too exhausted to talk, kept hold of him by a fistful of his coat, he subsided and they were both guided to sit down by the fire.

"I was about to fall down when I got back," Algy said, stooping to put a hand on Biggles's shoulder; he was wrapped in a blanket himself. "We were just about to head up the mountain after you."

"Here, drink." Ginger pushed a tin camp mug of coffee into Biggles's hands. He helped Biggles strip off his wet gloves, caked with snow, and Biggles gratefully wrapped his clumsy, cold fingers around the cup. This weather was exactly that sort of slanting wet cold that went straight through a person, sapping their body's heat and strength.

No one seemed terribly surprised that he had arrived with von Stalhein, so Algy must have filled them in. Bertie crouched beside von Stalhein, guiding von Stalhein's shaking hand to help him with a hot drink. "This coat's soaked through, old top," Bertie began, starting to reach for the shoulder, and then seemed to become aware that the sodden state of the coat on the left side was blood. Von Stalhein jerked sharply away from him.

"He's been shot," Biggles said. His teeth were chattering. He clenched his jaw against it, took another swig of coffee that scorched his throat, and managed to get out in a normal tone, "Let him have a look, von Stalhein."

"It is not serious," von Stalhein said tightly, but he settled warily, allowing Bertie to pull the coat off his shoulder and tut over the blood-stiff shirt underneath.

"You've done a mischief to yourself -- or someone has, and that's no lie. Ginger, bring the first-aid kit, would you? And a blanket as well. Don't worry, old fellow," Bertie said, placing a supportive hand between von Stalhein's shoulder blades with a gentleness that belied his flippant tone. "I've stitched up more than one good hunting horse. I'll fix you right up, don't worry."

"I—I don't understand," von Stalhein said shakily. The indomitable strength that had kept him going this long wavered suddenly, and he would have fallen if not for Bertie's support holding him up. "I don't know what you want. No one has told me what I—what I am asked to pay for this ... this hospitality!" He all but spat the last words with a vicious defiance.

"We don't want anything," Biggles said, finding that his own weariness was almost beyond bearing. "We would have done the same for anyone we found in similar circumstances."

This statement somehow did not calm von Stalhein; he half rose to his feet, but wobbled as his own weakness caught up to him, and submitted to Bertie calmly sitting him back down. Taking the first-aid case from Ginger, Bertie set to work on von Stalhein's blood-soaked shoulder. At first von Stalhein flinched at every movement, as if each gentle touch burned him like a firebrand, but as Bertie kept up a steady stream of breezy patter, he began to relax, sagging almost, slumping and allowing Bertie to work on him.

There was no one better than Bertie for this kind of work, Biggles thought. Bertie had a calming touch that even the most distressed wild creature responded to in an instinctive kind of way. Biggles had more than once witnessed Bertie coaxing a wild bird in his hands, cheerfully prattling to it while he fed it or freed it from a fishing line in which it had become entangled, finally opening his hands and releasing it into the treetops.

But for all that von Stalhein had settled under Bertie's ministrations, he kept darting swift glances at Biggles, quick flicks of the pain-shadowed grey eyes across the fire, as if Biggles was his true touchstone here.

"Here, warm that up for you." Algy was at Biggles's shoulder, taking the empty mug and returning it full of hot soup. Biggles sipped at it, and Algy settled a blanket over Biggles's shoulders, cutting the chill of the wind. Ginger was busy tying down the tent against the wind, preparing to spend the night.

"It's bad weather for a takeoff," Algy said quietly, sitting beside Biggles. "But we've flown in worse." He flicked a look across the fire at von Stalhein, who was watching them warily as if suspecting the conversation was about him, while Bertie bound his bare shoulder. "If we're going to go, we need to do it before dark. It's up to you."

In other words, whether Biggles judged von Stalhein's injuries bad enough that it was worth the risk. And Algy was far too experienced a pilot not to know how much of a risk it would be, taking off and climbing out of the valley in the spitting snow and perilous crosswinds.

"It'll be all right," Biggles said, low. "We'll spend the night here and—and fly out in the morning."

"And him?" Algy tilted his head, indicating von Stalhein, who had turned to respond to Bertie pressing some of their limited supply of painkillers into his hand. "Is he a prisoner, or coming with us, or what?"

"That's up to him."

Algy's only response was a grunt, but he went to get the rest of their supplies from the Auster and finish laying out the evening's rations.

Von Stalhein nibbled at what he was given (a tin cup of stew with hard biscuit soaking in it) and then, as if his appetite was suddenly awakened, ate as if famished. By now, early winter darkness had enclosed them, with the campfire a bright spot of light and the rest of the world closed off by shadows.

Biggles got up, finding his limbs less wobbly now that he'd warmed up and eaten, and went to sit by von Stalhein, who was staring into the fire as if dazed with weariness, but looked up sharply when Biggles sat beside him. His coat was draped over his shoulders, his bare arm strapped to his chest. Bertie was always thorough.

"We haven't taken your gun," Biggles said quietly. "But I will need it now, or your parole, please."

Von Stalhein eyed him, then said softly, "Do you care which?"

Biggles suppressed an inward sigh. "I'd rather have your word, all things being equal. For one thing, it wouldn't be a hardship to have someone else to share the watch rotation."

Von Stalhein looked at him as if seeking a trap. Then he said, "You have my word."

"And we trust that?" Algy said from across the fire, popping his head out of the tent, where he had been unrolling sleeping bags to insulate them from the cold ground. They had just the one four-man tent with them this time, a close fit, but there were usually no more than two or three of them in it at a time.

"Yes," Biggles said firmly. "We'll have two-man watches this time. Ginger, Algy, you'll split the first shift. Then —"

"Me," von Stalhein said, speaking up abruptly.

"And I'll take the other leg of the shift, what?" Bertie said brightly, before Biggles could volunteer.

Well, it was less likely to cause altercations than Algy, and Biggles trusted Bertie to keep an eye on von Stalhein, just in case. "I'll have the dawn watch, then."

"Better turn in then, Skipper," Ginger remarked. He was just finishing up lashing down the Auster securely to weather the night's storm.

Biggles rose, laid a hand on von Stalhein's uninjured shoulder and felt him jerk a little, as if unused to being touched at all. "Here, into the tent, there's a bed laid out. You'll sleep between us."

"Where you trust me not to run off," von Stalhein said wryly, but he was working his way into the tent already, half tranquilized with the hot meal on top of cold, exhaustion, and the painkillers Bertie had given him.

"Not at all, old top," Bertie said brightly, crawling in behind them. "It's where we put the casualties, always have, tucked up close and warm between two of us. No, lie down there, we'll use my folded-up coat for your pillow."

Von Stalhein lay stiff as a board between them, but as Biggles arranged blankets over the top of them, he seemed to relax a little. "You -- always sleep like this ...?"

"Well, in the cold, it just makes sense, what?" Bertie said, and to all evidence appeared to drop off to sleep immediately, complete with faint snoring, though Biggles suspected he was shamming.

Von Stalhein, board-rigid, began to relax a little. Outside the tent, Ginger and Algy could be heard talking quietly at the fire, and there was the clinking of the tin camp pot. Finally von Stalhein rolled carefully from his back to his side, facing Biggles, with his injured arm up.

"You will wake me for a watch?" he said quietly to Biggles. "I am sincere; I won't betray you."

"I know, you gave your word. And yes, we will." Biggles smiled a little. "Algy will. You can trust him for that."

It felt very strange to have von Stalhein this close, breathing quietly beside him in the dark, as he had spent so many nights with Algy and Ginger and Bertie. Biggles rolled on his side and found that he could see the glimmer of von Stalhein's open eyes in the faint light inside the tent, looking at him. It was too dark to read his expression, but Biggles could sense his quizzical look nonetheless, from his breathing or his posture somehow.

Biggles reached out carefully, meaning to touch his arm under the blankets, but he had forgotten that von Stalhein's injured arm was bare under the shreds of his shirt, so he laid his hand on von Stalhein's bare wrist instead, and felt him flinch sharply. "It's all right," Biggles said quietly. "Go to sleep, Erich."

He didn't expect to sleep himself, at least not immediately; he generally didn't, in a strange place with his team to look out for, and in particular with an enemy inside their tent. But instead, the day's cold-fueled exertion pulled him down like a dark tide. It was his last realization as he drifted off that he still had his hand on von Stalhein's bare skin, and von Stalhein had turned the hand of his injured arm a little, so that his fingertips rested against the inside of Biggles's wrist.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

I would love to see more Chris, and especially with Branch now we know that bastard is deep in the ground

Yeah, Oliver Branch is so very, very, very dead. That was a fun day for us all.

CW: Creepy whumper, intimate whumper, Oliver Branch is gross, BBU, forced alcohol consumption, minor whump (whumpee is 17), some gross implications here

-

"They should have a Pets Unlimited feature," His Sir muses, stirring the little stick with the olive speared through it around and around the slightly-tinted liquid in his martini glass. Baldur watches it, his mind too slow and foggy for the words to sink in immediately.

There's a delay before Baldur, kneeling on the floor before his Sir's chair, tips his chin to look up. At first, Sir is blurry and completely out of focus, but when he tries, slowly the details come together. "... a what?"

"Oh, probably not that, I'm sure they'd get sued for copyright infringement," Sir hums, picking up the toothpick and biting the olive right off, bleu cheese stuffing and all. He leans down and feeds Baldur some of the olive-stained vodka, until the boy coughs and Sir laughs at him, stabbing another olive from a little bowl on the table beside him and feeding Baldur that, too.

The squeak of olive and tang of the blue-veined cheese makes his stomach turn, but Baldur refuses to show it. He hates olives, but Sir likes them, so Baldur has to like them, too.

"But..." Sir hums, sitting back. His legs, kicked out on either side of Baldur, shift around behind him, locking his ankles to pull the boy closer, until he's pressed right up against the fabric of the chair. "You know what I mean."

Baldur has no idea whatsoever.

But he nods, slowly, keeping his eyes firmly focused on his Sir's face.

"I don't think I could afford it even if they did. Hell, for all I know the damn concept is already in place, and I'm just not rich enough or enough of the 'in group' to be offered." Sir laughs, a deep, rich, warm chuckle that runs like honey down Baldur's back, settles into his mind and smothers his thoughts. His eyes close as Sir pets fingers through his copper hair, shivering. He thinks he likes the touch.

He doesn't.

But he has to, so he does.

"Order one, keep it until I'm done with it, until you're too old, until you start to look your age... then send you back and get the next one. I'd pay for that kind of convenience, if I could. Which I can't. But wouldn't it be nice?"

These words, he knows. These words aren't honey - they are sharp and spiky, terror that has his eyes flying back open. He puts his hands on Sir's knees and shifts upwards, straightening his spine. "Sir? You... you would... send me back?"

The fear breaks through the daze he lives his days in, the only feeling he has with any strength anymore. He used to feel other things, he thinks, besides fear and the odd need that gets forced out of him. He's sure he did. Once.

"Oh, Baldur, darlin'." Sir sighs, as if he's being silly, a stupid little slut with no thoughts in his mind. He rubs a thumb along the line of Baldur's jaw, along his bottom lip, watches with amusement as Baldur tries to follow it, to somehow earn the forever that is supposed to be part of the promise of the program.

You signed up for this, and now you'll be taken care of.

"Sir..." He whispers, desperate for reassurance.

What he gets instead is Sir's smile, widening like a monster's until it feels too big for his face, and Baldur can only go still and silent as the glass is tipped against his mouth again, and the vodka burns down his throat and runs cold out of the corners of his mouth, trickling over his jaw and down his neck.

He chokes on it.

It's too much too fast, as much in his lungs as down his esophagus. He coughs, bent over with the force of it, and droplets spatter across Sir's pants and his shirt. Baldur's eyes burn, his heart pounds, and he gasps. "Oh... oh, no... Sir, I, I'm sorry-"

"Ssssshhhhh. It's all right, sweetheart, don't worry... it's all right..." Sir shakes his head. "It's okay, darlin'."

Baldur's mouth is trembling and he can't stop the little coughs that keep bubbling up, how his stomach flips and drops. He can't throw up. He can't. He'll be whipped bloody if he does, he always is when he throws up. His fingers tighten into Sir's pants until his knuckles are white as he fights the violence his stomach keeps threatening.

Sir waits, patient as a tiger watching prey take a drink at a stream, fingers moving gently through Baldur's hair, again and again.

Only when Baldur goes quiet, finally getting his body until control, does Sir murmur, "I wonder who'll find you when I'm done, and what they'll do to you, then."

His smile is soft and sweet and Baldur stares up into his eyes helplessly, hating every single second. This time, it's the vodka bottle that he forces against Baldur's lips. It's pure clear burn that he has to swallow. The world dips and spins around him, but his heart keeps racing.

"... I wonder," Sir says, voice nearly a whisper, "How long you'll live when I don't want you anymore."

-

God, I'm so glad that guy is dead now.

[lady-wallace]

Whumptober Day 17 - "Lost in these Memories" (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)

More Fugo whump for today's @whumptober fic, (With Stand Hugs!)

~~~~~~~

Prompts Used: Collar, Touch Aversion, 'Leave me alone' Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 5 Character: Fugo

~~~~~~~

Read on Ao3

Read on FF.net

~~~~~~~

Bucciarati made up the tray of food, purposefully placing the bowl of soup, the spoon and napkin, and the glass of water as he mentally prepared to face his youngest team member again.

It had been five days now since Fugo had gone missing on a mission—three since he had been found, and he still hadn't left his room since they'd brought him home.

Bucciarati wasn't entirely sure what to do. Any attempt he had made to coax Fugo out had been met with firm denial, and while he could certainly understand such a reaction after a traumatic event, he knew Fugo was suffering and, worse, suffering alone. He had so far refused any comfort Bruno or Abbacchio tried to offer him, simply staying curled in bed, wrapped in blankets.

Bruno sighed and knocked on the teen's door before letting himself in, knowing he wouldn't get an answer.

"Fugo? I brought you some dinner," he said quietly as he entered the dim room.

Fugo briefly looked up at him from the book he was reading before flicking his eyes downward once more. "You can just put it there," he mumbled nodding to the side table.

Bucciarati did as asked and hesitated before he left. "Pannacotta, I'd like to check your injuries again if that's okay?"

Fugo's hands started to shake instantly and Bruno felt terrible for even bringing it up, but an infection wasn't going to do him any better either.

"No—n-no. I really can't stand anyone touching me right now. I—I can't. Please. I can do it myself. I promise I'll clean them well."

Bucciarati closed his eyes briefly, but nodded. "Alright. I'll leave the medical supplies in the bathroom for you. But if you need help with the ones on your back—"

"I don't! I'm fine!" Fugo snapped, then ducked his head, wrapping his arms around himself. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It's all right," Bucciarati told him gently. "Please try to eat something. And let me know if you need anything else."

He slipped out of the room, and his fists clenched in fury the instant the door was closed, teeth grinding.

He and Abbacchio, along with the other soldati had already demolished the gang who had taken Fugo, but what good did it do when the damage had already been done? Fugo had been doing so well recently. He'd stopped jumping when Bruno and Abbacchio accidently brushed him, just generally doing better with human proximity. He'd even started to accept hugs when he was having bad nights, calming in Bruno's careful hold.

And now all of that had been erased instantly by the cruelty of his captors, using his aversion to touch against him. Mocking, hurting, using knives and fists to demolish the fond touches Bruno sought to provide when he was sure Fugo would be okay with it, taking that gained trust and tearing it to pieces.

The image of Fugo when they'd finally found him in that cargo container would forever haunt Bucciarati's nightmares. Shivering in a corner, bloody and bruised, bound hand and foot with a collar locked around his throat, keeping him upright so he could not pull away from his captors without choking himself.

Even the act of freeing Fugo had sent him into a panic attack and there was no comfort Bruno could offer aside from words, which was harder than he had thought it would be.

One look at the teen panicking and sobbing had sent Abbacchio back out to start delivering a justified beat-down of the bastards who had dared hurt Fugo.

And when they got him back, Bucciarati had only been able to do the bare minimum to tend to Fugo's injuries before he flat-out pushed him away and retreated to his room where he had stayed ever since.

Abbacchio met him in the kitchen, breaking Bucciarati out of his brooding thoughts.

"How is he?" the other man asked quietly.

Bucciarati shook his head, grabbing bowls to dish soup out for him and Abbacchio even though he wasn't hungry. "I honestly don't know what to do. There's no telling how long this will go on, especially if he refuses help—"

Abbacchio held up a hand. "First of all, hovering isn't going to help him," he said.

Bruno huffed. "I know that. And I'm trying not to, it's just…"

"I know," Abbacchio replied with a sigh. "I don't like seeing the kid like that either. But he needs space right now. He knows he's safe here and that's going to have to be enough for the moment."

Bucciarati pressed his lips together, knowing the other man was right.

Abbacchio's advice didn't help when he heard Fugo screaming in his sleep that night. He had to get up to see him even though he knew he would be rejected.

"Fugo?" he called as he tapped on the door, hearing the moaning and shifting of blankets. He opened the door and saw the boy wound up in his sheets, struggling, eyes and jaw clenched tight as he let out breathless sobs, chest heaving too quickly.

"Pannacotta," Bruno called firmly, standing beside the bed.

The blond only continued to struggle against the sheets, breaths becoming more and more panicked. Bruno finally had to reach out and help, unable to watch this anymore.

But Fugo flailed the instant Bruno touched the sheets. "Don't!" he shouted. "Leave me alone!"

"Panna, I'm just…" Bucciarati tried, but he pulled away.

Fugo's eyes finally opened and he scrambled to sit against the head of the bed, eyes darting around frantically, not seeing anything.

"Panna," Bruno called again and his head whipped over toward him. "You're home. You're safe. It's just me here."

Fugo's face crumpled, and he curled into himself. "I hate this, I hate this," he cried.

Bruno pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and sat carefully, making sure he wasn't in any way crowding Fugo.

"It's okay, Pannacotta."

"No it's not!" Fugo snapped, scrubbing at his eyes as he hugged himself, fingers digging into his ribs. "I-I fucked up! I got captured, and I l-let them control me, and I c-couldn't do anything about it!"

Something rippled in the corner and Bucciarati looked over to see Purple Haze materializing. The Stand moaned forlornly as it hugged its knees and rocked back and forth. Fugo didn't even seem to realize his Stand was out, proving how much distress he was currently in. As long as Purple Haze didn't start punching things though, Bruno wasn't going to worry about him.

"You didn't let them control you, Fugo," Bruno told him firmly. "They tortured you."

Fugo shook his head. "But I'm the one who let them see how much it bothered me. I told them to stop, but they—they just made a sick game of it. And I forgot—I almost forgot how much it could hurt." His voice hitched on a sob again. "Because I didn't have to worry for so long but now every time I try to sleep, it's just…that in my head again. But worse, because it's that and my recent capture combined."

Purple Haze wailed again, echoing his user's distress, burying his head in his knees.

Bucciarati's heart ached to hear Fugo talk about it. To know that his mind was so cruel as to combine his recent trauma and that of his horrible past only hurt all the more. He could only imagine how much mental anguish Fugo was going through.

"I don't…know how to make it better," Fugo sobbed. "I didn't want to be like this anymore, but they fucked it all up and I don't know what to do to fix myself."

Bucciarati barely resisted the urge to reach out and offer some form of comforting touch to Fugo. The boy was shaking so hard, just barely keeping the panic under control.

"I am so sorry that this happened, Panna," Bruno told him sincerely. "But none of it was your fault. It was all those bastards back there, and they won't be hurting anyone ever again—I can assure you of that. And you don't have to 'fix' yourself. There's nothing to fix. You survived, Panna, and sometimes that's its own strength."

Fugo didn't say anything. He simply pulled his knees up, making himself small, arms wrapped around himself. Bruno didn't think it was possible for someone in a room with another person—and a Stand—to look so alone, but Fugo was suffering so much right now that his pain burrowed deep into Bucciarati's soul and curled up there.

Purple Haze wailed again and Bruno straightened up, knowing he had to ask at least, for his own sanity if nothing else.

"Do you… want a hug?" he asked softly, seeing the way Fugo kept hugging his arms to his chest. "It's okay if you don't but I wanted to offer."

Fugo let out a soft sob. "I-I do but…I don't think I can handle that much touch right now. I just…I just want it to be like it was before and I'm so fucking mad!"

Purple Haze moaned, rocking forlornly in the corner. That was when Bucciarati had an idea.

"Panna, do you mind if I try something?" he asked, holding up his hands, palms out. "I'm not going to touch you, but please let me know if any of this is too much."

He manifested Sticky Fingers and the Stand crossed the room to kneel in front of Purple Haze. Fugo's stand shifted and looked up at the other. Sticky Fingers slowly opened his arms, not making a move, but waiting.

Purple Haze hesitated, moaned, then suddenly lurched forward and practically tackled Sticky Fingers backwards, letting out a mournful sound.

Bruno watched, shocked as Purple Haze curled up against Sticky and his Stand held onto Haze tightly, rocking him back and forth. It was an odd sensation, both physically and mentally comforting, like being wrapped in a soft blanket and just the perfect temperature.

After a few moments, Purple Haze started to let out a gurgling, almost purring sound, drooling against Sticky Fingers' shoulder.

Bruno glanced over to Fugo to see how he was taking this, and saw a slight embarrassed flush on his cheeks, as he watched the Stands, but his breathing had calmed down a little and he wasn't quite so tense anymore.

"Is it okay? Like that?" Bruno asked him hesitantly.

Fugo nodded. "Actually, yes. It's not bad at all."

Bruno smiled, relief flooding him. "That's good."

Fugo clenched the sheets in his hands, staring down as his cheeks flushed again. "Could you…stay, until I fall asleep?" he mumbled.

"Of course, Panna," Bruno replied, settling into the chair. "I won't go anywhere."

Fugo let out a shuddering sigh and lay back down in the bed, allowing Bruno to help untangle the rest of the covers and tuck them back into the mattress. He then took up a book and stayed there reading until Fugo fell asleep. All the while, Sticky Fingers and Purple Haze stayed cuddled together on the other side of the room.

Over the next few days, whenever Fugo was having a hard time, Purple Haze would appear somewhere in the apartment and Bruno or Abbacchio would deploy their Stands for comfort and hugging. Abbacchio had been somewhat hesitant at first, but Moody Blues had had other ideas, going directly up to Purple Haze and pulling him into a firm embrace.

Another week passed and Fugo finally ventured out of his room for more than just the bathroom and water.

"Feeling better?" Bruno asked kindly as he set some breakfast in front of Fugo.

The blond nodded, and though he was still covered in bruises, showing up all too much on his pale skin, he did look a little better. He picked at his nails, then looked up at Bruno. "Could I…try a hug?" he asked.

Bruno didn't say anything, simply opened his arms to let Fugo come to him.

The boy hesitated, then got out of his chair and came forward, tentatively looping his arms around Bucciarati before he leaned fully into him with a long exhale.

Bruno lightly wrapped his arms around Fugo's shoulders. "How's that?" he asked.

"I think I'm getting there," Fugo said sincerely.

~~~~~~~

Check out my Whumptober Masterpost HERE for more stories!

If you want to follow me on other social media or ask about commissions, find my info on My Carrd

[hinatastinygiant]

6 | Maroon

Pairing: Itadori x Fem!Reader

The Encounter

When your consciousness returns, you find yourself sitting on the ground. The sound of crackling fire pierces the quiet, and as you attempt to move, you realize you're bound to rope, secured tightly to a tree.

Panic grows within you as you take in your surroundings and notice a small, unfamiliar tent standing nearby. Fear tightens your chest as you struggle against your restraints.

As you continue to look around, your eyes lock onto the figure sitting by the fire. Your captor is a tall, scruffy-looking man with blonde hair. Recognition strikes like a lightning bolt, and your eyes widen in terror as you recall where you've seen him before.

FLASHBACK ~ ONE DAY AGO

After grabbing some supplies for your camping trip at the store that is supposed to be not too far away from your campsite, you follow Fushiguro over to the checkout counter where a clerk around your age stands.

Nobara begins to flirt with him. "Hey there," she grins.

You don't really pay too much attention to their conversation until you hear her say, "Yep! Campsite 17! You been there? Man, it's going to be sooo boring out there but you could make it a lot more interesting..."

You groan to yourself and just pray the cashier isn't a serial killer. While she continues to flirt with him, you place your items on the counter. Then, you make sure you've got enough money to pay the underpaid employee.

As you wait, you glance behind you. Your eyes fall upon a scruffy-looking blonde man who stands in line behind you, holding a strange assortment of items. In his arms, he's holding a length of rope, a few cans of beans, and a pair of wire cutters. The sight sends a shiver down your spine and you instinctively step a bit closer to Itadori.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME

"What the hell do you want with me?" you demand, your voice laced with desperation.

He remains silent for a moment, his gaze unwavering. Then, finally, he speaks. "Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answers to."

Fear courses through your veins, but despite the dread that grips you, you can't help but voice another question. Your voice trembles as you ask what's haunted your thoughts since you recognized him from the store.

"Did you... Did you kill that poor girl?"

"Jesus," he shakes his head. "Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm a researcher, okay?"

"Y-you are?" you ask, a wave of relief washing over you. Was all of this some kind of misunderstanding? "What are you researching?"

"My field of study is the limits of the human mind," he begins. Instantly, your heart rate quickens. "Unfortunately, my last experiment didn't go so well and my subject got too... overwhelmed."

Terror takes complete control over you as a scream tears through your throat, but before it can fully escape, his hand clamps over your mouth. His eyes bear into yours, and he shakes his head. "Don't do that," he hisses. "You'll get your poor friends into the same situation as you. I have friends everywhere."

Your heart feels like it's pounding through your chest, and you can't help but wonder if he can hear it. But then he pulls his hand away, leaving tears to stream down your cheeks as you try to suppress your sobs.

The man's tone then shifts almost casually as if he's been discussing something simple this whole time. "Are you hungry?" he asks. You shake your head, the thought of food feels like a small concern in contrast to your current predicament.

"Fine, then it's time for your first test," he continues. Your eyes widen in horror, but before you can react, he blindfolds you with what feels like some kind of paper, plunging you into complete darkness. The world falls silent, minus the pounding of your heart, and the amount of time that's passed becomes impossible to identify.

But, as you continue to cry, your blindfold becomes so soggy from your tears that it rips and falls away. Gasping for breath, you check your surroundings. Your eyes lock onto a knife lying within reach by your feet. As adrenaline surges within you, you squirm and maneuver your hands and bare feet until you can grasp the knife. Then, with shaking hands, you cut yourself free.

Freedom is within your grasp as you bold from the spot. However, the world around you hardly seems to care. Rain begins to pour again from the dark sky, drenching you. And with no shoes to shield your feet from the wet earth, it's hard to make a fast escape.

You call out to your three friends with desperation in your voice and, after what seems like hours, you eventually hear their distant voices calling your name. Ignoring the rain and the mud, you sprint toward their voices, running so fast that you don't watch where you're going.

And that's when your escape comes stretching to a halt. Your body goes down fast the second your foot gets caught in a bear trap, the steel clamping down onto your leg with excruciating force. Pain rips through you, and you scream at the top of your lungs, tears mixing with the rain.

Panic sets in as you reach around to try to pry your leg free. And that's when you see him, kneeling in front of you, your kidnapper. His expression remains emotionless as he nods, his voice devoid of feeling. "Well done," he hums, the words sending a chill down your spine.

The man then moves to release you from the trap, allowing it to release its grip. However, you hardly pay it much mind as you look around in confusion. You could've sworn you were so close to your camp.

But then your eyes fall upon something unsettling. A speaker dangles from one of the nearby trees and it dawns on you that the voices you heard calling your name earlier weren't actually your friends at all. Your kidnapper had lured you into this horrifying trap, manipulating your desperation to lead you deeper into his nightmare.

He's planned this whole thing out. Even got a recording of all your friends saying your name. Dread settles in your heart as you realize the extent of the danger you're truly in.

The Encounter

Taglist: @liyahsocorro @Bandit6199 @little-aruma

[steeltraptrainer]

Djura told him to get the two new... visitors. Two hunters who are frankly too young for the job, if you asked him. But he wasn't asked, so he shut up. They're standing in front of the entrance when he gets there, kind of dazed, and a bit too translucent for his tastes. They better not be ghosts. He doesn't need a haunting in Old Yharnam. None of them do. They're too light, and it feels a bit like holding mist when he picks them up. He shivers. Best bring them to Djura as fast as possible, and then he'll go back to his corner of Old Yharnam and drink himself under the table with his moonshine.

---

When they blink to awareness, they're not where they were last. They're carefully propped up against the balustrade of Djura's tower, the hunter in question sitting nearby on a rickety stool.

"Ah. You're back." A single, world-weary eye glances at them.

"The Dream has a strong grasp on you two."

"Hnnng..." Ferro presses his eyes shut.

"This is new. Usually... usually time doesn't pass."

"How... How did we get here?" Giacomo still feels a little woozy, like he was disassociating for a while.

"Had someone bring you up here. This is a new development then?" Djura hums, closing his eye. Concerning. Very concerning.

"Where did you go?"

"Back home. We... we woke up in Yharnam, about... two weeks ago." Ferro rubs his hands over his face.

"And now we're... just forced here, night after night. Days we spend home, but nights we wake up here, and can go into the Dream." His hand unconsciously clenches over his shoulder.

"Wounds carry over. Healed, but they carried over." Silence reigns for a bit.

"You two are in quite the dilemma, aren't you?" Djura shakes his head.

"Dangerous one, too. Tell me, how much did you fight?"

"Ten nights. Haven't engaged with the Huntsmen yet. We... Where we are from, killing doesn't happen. Not really. It feels wrong. Repulsive." Giacomo shudders.

"When Gascoigne went off the rails, we knocked him out and got him into the Dream. More or less did the same for Henryk, when the Crow went to hunt him." There's a creak of leather as he pulls his legs in.

"... How old are you two?" Djura dreads the answer.

"I'm 17. He's 16." Ah. Well fuck.

"Don't know who in their right mind would have conscripted you. There are age limits. Too late to worry about it now. When you did your... disassociation trick, I could practically taste the Dream again. You are in deep trouble, you two. Trouble that will only get deeper as the time goes on. The night is long, and the hunt rarely leaves you." He crosses his arms.

"Rest here a bit. I can't give you much, but I will see that you can get some new weaponry. Maybe you will find a way out with it." He reaches into his coat, pulls out a necklace with a twisted, gnarled design on it, and hands it over.

"Here. The messengers will know what to do."

---

They stay with Djura for a bit. Long enough to get their bearings. Long enough that they eventually have the energy to continue. It's daunting. With the powder keg badge, the beasts of Old Yharnam should stay quiet, they know the smell. Neither of them trusts the tentative peace, and they hurry out of the town part regardless. There are people they could save. A Bloodstarved Beast near a chalice. They don't know. They truly, truly don't know. Eventually, they decide on the people. They weave through streets they don't quite understand, try to make people go to the chapel. Not to Iosefka. She is gone. Long gone. Too late. At one point they pass the window of Gilbert. A soft-spoken man with a fate he doesn't deserve. A flamethrower comes with them, and a reassurance that Gilbert... doesn't mind his fate overmuch. Even so, they tell him to go to Old Yharnam if he thinks that it becomes too much. They don't know if he will follow the advice.

---

"I see you had some visitors tonight, Powder Keg." Djura always startles so wonderfully, Eileen muses. A full-body twitch, reflexive usage of the Stake Driver. It's amusing her to no end. Their game, really. She, who tries to approach without alerting him, and he, who is always on the lookout for her. Two wrecks, older than they should be, still here. Two wrecks who died more often than any man had right to. They both still stink of the Moon.

"One day you will send me over yonder, and it will not be with your blades, Crow." Djura shakes his head.

"You jest. You know as well as I do that that will not happen. One day you will look around and notice your corpse bending over that monstrous gun of yours, and then continue your work as a specter." Eileen can't quite contain her giggle.

"So you say, Crow, so you say." Djura huffs.

"What did you think of them?" It's unnecessary to say who she means.

"They're young. Too young. And in danger. The Dream is doing something with them, and it leaves them as ghosts here. Barely corporeal. They didn't know about it. A new development, they said." That is news to her.

"Is that so? Dire news, that. It seems our youngest colleagues have the world out to get them. The night will be long indeed." Eileen settles in, practically perching on the architecture. This would be a longer talk.

---

They hem and haw about getting people to the chapel. Some follow. Some don't. They skirt around the big issue, around Gascoigne, around Henryk, around the next cleric beast. They would need help for it. But both men had just gotten their ass summarily kicked to hell and back, and would need recovery time. They don't get to decide this night. They can feel the onset of morning. They just about find a place to stash themselves before

T h e y

W a k e

U p

[nikkasqueaka]

I think he loves me, he just scares me sometimes. I think he loves mama, he just gets violent sometimes. Mama says he loves us, and I believe mama. I'm trying to be quieter, ask for less, sneak past the garage door instead of walk. I'm stepping up to talk them through their "disagreements" mama says they aren't fights, I think that's what a good big sibling does, sometimes it helps.

Love, 9 years old

Take me away. Take away these horrors I see in the night, forcing me from sleep, that make me shake and shiver and cry in fear. Take away this anger that I feel, roiling and hissing inside me, the anger that burns my family and pushes them away. Take away this loneliness, that eats at my chest and keeps my stomach empty. Take me away from this pain, I don't want to die, but I don't think I'd be mad if did.

Sincerely, 11 years old

Why am I always the fixer? This is your job. Why did you lead these people to me? I have been the fixer since childhood, Why do you keep giving me more? I don't want to stay up at night sobbing over my phone screen, I don't want to attempt to talk them down from desperate bids for my attention. I can't receive "I love you" without that spike of panic anymore. Why would you do that to me?

Faithfully, 13 years old

He's still here, why is he still here, hanging over us like a malevolent shadow. I don't know why you chose this for me, but I'm afraid I'll never escape him. You chained him to my existence, I think that's what you did, you were supposed to give me a protector, this is not protection.

Regards, 15 years old

I'm terrified of my mortality, I know I'm so young but sometimes I feel so old. I'm scared of being insignificant, but I'm afraid of being admired, I crave attention and shy away from the spotlight. Everything scares me these days, you made a world I fear at every turn. I used to love life, thrive in solitude, adore the stage, search for adventure at every turn, I'm not free anymore, your world made me frightened to live.

Yours, 17 years old

- Letters To God, by Nikola M. La Vallée

[determinedwriter]

No. 17: Touch Aversion/“Leave me alone.”

Tony

Something is wrong.

Ro won’t talk to me. I haven’t seen her look me in the eyes once in weeks. She’s completely different. Even her body language is completely closed off and timid in a way I’ve never seen from her.

“Hey, Pep?” I ask my long-time girlfriend.

She grins softly. “Hey, Tony.”

I sigh. “Have you noticed anything weird with Ro lately?”

She looks at me in worry. “I thought I might’ve been seeing things…but yeah. Peter even voiced that to me when he was here the other day. She won’t look at him. She’s scared. And Tony, I…”

My heart pounds. “What is it?”

“I was…a lot like that in my senior year of high school…after I was…” Pepper clears her throat. “After I was assaulted at a party. It took me a long time to feel safe again after that. I’m scared she…might’ve experienced that.”

Shivers go down my spine. “It can’t be that. Pep, I had no idea you were…”

I hug her, burying my face in her hair. “I love you.”

She kisses me. “I love you too. Maybe you should go talk to her. She needs her dad. I can try to help, but…she’s always been closest to you. I think you’ll be able to help the most.”

I nod. “Okay. God, I…hope it isn’t that.”

Pepper wraps her arms around me. “Me too.”

I walk to my daughter’s room and knock on the door. “Hey, Ro?”

She stays quiet even though I know she’s in there. “Ro? You alright?”

“I’m fine.” Ro sounds so meek and…broken. “D-Do you need something?”

“Can I come in?” I ask. “I just want to talk to you.”

Ro pauses. “One minute.”

I hear some shuffling around before she speaks again. “Okay, come in.”

I open the door. “Hey, I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

She sighs. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Can I sit?” I question.

She hesitates, flinching when I step closer. It startles me a little. “Hey, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Her lip quivers. “I’m fine. It’s nothing. It’s…it’s fine.”

I know she’s lying, but I’m not sure how far I should push. “Ro, you can talk to me. You can-”

I lean closer to her and she quickly scrambles backwards. “No, no, please!”

Ro shuts her eyes, back pressed against her headboard. “No, no, no, no…don’t touch me anymore.”

I don’t think she’s even trying to talk to me at this point. Regardless of wanting to hug and comfort her, I keep my hands off. “Ro. Ro, hey. Listen to me, you’re okay. You’re alright. Let me in, kiddo.”

Knees to her chest, she keeps her head down with her arms around her legs to hug herself. She’s whimpering in fear. Fear of me. “Dad…Dad…Daddy.”

My heart aches. “Ro, it’s okay. It’s me. You’re safe here.”

She slowly lifts her head. “Dad, I’m scared. P-Please back up.”

I do as she says, backing up a little. “Okay. You’ve got it.”

Ro keeps her eyes on me as if she’s afraid I’ll do something if she looks away. “Don’t go.”

She’s giving some confusing mixed messages, but I do what she says. “I won’t. I’ll do whatever you need me to.”

Her hands tremble and she sniffles. “There’s something I have to…to t-tell you.”

God, no. Please don’t tell me this is what Pepper said it is. It can’t be true. Not that. Anything but that. “O-Okay. What is it, Ro?”

Ro only shakes harder as she tries to speak. “I’m sorry. I’m s-so…so sorry. Dad, I didn’t wanna…I…”

I try to keep a straight face. “It’s alright, kid. Take your time.”

She nods very slowly. “Okay…Dad, I…I went…I went to a p-party. I snuck out. And I’m sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. P-Please…”

Normally, I’d be upset with her for sneaking out. But I can’t bring myself to get angry with my shaking, sobbing, begging daughter. “Oh, baby…baby, I’m so sorry. I love you. It’s okay. I’m not mad. What happened?”

Ro finally looks me in the eyes. “I was raped.”

I want to throw up. I feel the bile rising in my throat but force myself to keep my composure. “Oh God, Ro…Ro…”

I open my arms wide. “Can I hug you?”

She nods and I take her into my arms. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you. You’re safe. I’ll keep you safe now, mini…I love you so much. I promise you’re safe. Do…do you know who hurt you?”

Ro shakes her head and sobs in my arms. “No, Daddy…I don’t know. I don’t know…I never wanted this to happen. Y-You believe me, right?”

“Oh, oh, oh….of course. Of course, baby…I’ll always believe you. Tell me what I need to do and I’ll do it. I’ll kill that fucker…I’ll kill him…I’ll do anything.”

Still trembling, Ro clings to my shirt and soaks it in tears. “N-No…No, I don’t know who it was. He’ll hurt me again…what if he approaches me at school? I just know he was a senior or something…but I don’t know his name and I didn’t recognize him. Dad, I don’t know what to do!”

“When did this happen?” I ask.

“About a month ago…” She admits.

I exhale shakily. “God, baby…why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

Holding her close, I rock her back and forth as she cries. “I was scared. I didn’t know what to say. I’m so sorry…I just didn’t want you to be disappointed…”

I struggle greatly not to cry with her. “I’ll never, ever be disappointed in you. I’ll never let you suffer alone. I promise. Ro, I promise. I will always keep you safe. Please…please never hesitate to tell me when you’re hurting.”

She nods. “Okay…”

Continuing to comfort her, I stay right by her side until she’s out of tears to cry. “I’m so tired, Dad.”

“I know.” I coo. “It’s okay. Get some rest. I’ll stay as long as you need me to. I’ll keep you safe.”

But I can’t keep her safe from the nightmares.

No matter what I do, I can’t turn back time and change what’s already happened. All I can do is try to protect her now.

But I will never stop blaming myself for what she has suffered through. I’m her father. I’m supposed to protect her.

And I failed.

I failed, I failed, I failed.

[peekapen]

Into the Deep Chapter 17

Summary:

Eclipse and you have a moment before tragedy strikes as Sun and Moon grow anxious.

Notes:

TRIGGER WARNING!!! Kidnapping, forced sleep, panic attacks, depression, injury, self deprecation and mentions of electrocution!!! Please proceed with caution!

Eclipse groaned as the first light of day hit his eyes. When had he fallen asleep? He didn't know, but he honestly couldn't care. All he wanted was to sleep just a little bit more before waiting for you to arrive later that day. He grumbled and moved around, curling into himself as much as he could in order to hide his eyes from the sharp rays of the new sun when he suddenly bumped into something soft and warm curled up by his side. Startled, he shot up and bared his teeth, ready to fight whatever had snuck into his sanctuary only to still at the sight of your body next to him, sound asleep. He could do nothing but stare for a few moments, shocked, when you started to whine and shiver in your sleep, causing him to panic.

Eclipse quickly lay back down and started to purr as he curled around you, trying to get you to stay asleep as he tried to recall why you were here. After all, you usually left after checking up on him, so why...? He shook his head and sighed. No matter. You were here now and you needed to relax and sleep properly. He continued purring as he gently caressed your cheek as you slept, watching as your face relaxed once more and your whole body went limp. Eclipse sighed, relieved before laying back down as well, hoping to catch a few more moments of rest when sudden memories from last evening suddenly flashed through his mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "YOU CAN TALK TOO?!" You suddenly yelled, breaking the moment of peace and warmth between the two of you, causing him to jump slightly at the sudden, loud noise before he started to laugh. You were so precious in your unbridled excitement.

"Yes, I can." He affirmed with a chuckle which grew into another small laugh at your amazed expression.

"Oh. My. God. This is amazing!" You said happily, your heart beating excitedly in your chest as you gave him a huge, close-eyed smile. When you opened them again, your eyes were softer, holding something warm within them that made his chest feel fuzzy. "Thank you for trusting me Eclipse."

"It's hard not to trust you, dear Heart." Eclipse rumbled back with a soft chuff as he hugged you, grateful to know that you understood how much he trusted you. Your giggle at the action coaxed another chuckle out of him before you pulled away from the hug. However, your face immediately went from happy to horrified at the sight of him as you shakily placed your hands on either side of his face, tears brimming in your eyes as you gently traced a finger over his face, causing him to flinch in pain as it went over one of his many reopened scratches.

"E-E-Eclipse? W-what happened t-to you?" You stuttered out and to his alarm, your heart rate started to pick up. He immediately took your hands into his own and started to purr, feeling your heartbeat start to calm at the sound as he gently kissed the back of your hands as he had seen humans do from within his little prison, enjoying the flushed look that came to your cheeks when he did so.

"I'm alright, dear Heart. I only healed you and that's why I look a tad bedraggled." He soothed, but you shook your head as tears started to fall from your eyes.

"Y-yes, b-but why are YOU h-hurt?! Healing isn't supposed to harm people! IT GOES AGAINST THE POINT OF HEALING ENTIRELY!" You shouted as more tears fell from your eyes and your shaking grew worse as you struggled to breathe. Eclipse's eyes widened in shock as he started to purr a little louder in response, trying desperately to calm you down as he started to cradle your head in his hands. Thankfully, you once more started to relax thanks to his ministrations, your heart starting to beat more evenly despite your destress, but he still waited until you had taken a few shaky, deep breaths before responding to your question.

"I got hurt because I was low on energy, and when a Mer is low on energy it starts to take energy from them in different ways." He answered softly and felt his heart clench as guilt came from your heart in troves and a few more tears slipped out.

"But why? Why heal me, knowing that it would hurt you?!" You cried out and Eclipse's gaze softened as he realized something from the lost look in your eyes and the cry of despair from your heart. You really had no idea how precious you were to him, and he needed to remedy that immediately.

"Because it's you, and you are so very, very precious to me, my dearest Heart." He said softly, pressing his forehead to yours before pulling away suddenly in surprise. Instead of calming down and feeling better, you only started to shake harder and your heartbeat in frantic, broken beats. "Heart?! What's going on?! Why-"

He tried to get to you, to get an answer from you so he could help you, but you were unresponsive. Your heart just kept beating more erratically and painfully as you devolved into a puddle of tears, gasping for breath as you cried out in pain, clinging to his arms for dear life as he desperately tried to calm you down. What should he do?! It's been such a long time that he's comforted someone, but he thought he was doing it right! As Eclipse panicked your heart only got more erratic, guilt, pain, and grief consuming you and drawing Eclipse in who hissed in discomfort. Why were you feeling like this?! What happened?! He tried to speak to you, to calm you, but he was unable to utter even a sound as your emotions enveloped him. Oh no, what was he going to do-

That's when an old memory came to him, one he thought forgotten from when he was but a pup and his siblings had just been born. He remembered that they cried a lot as their first teeth grew in and their mother would soothe them every time with a song that would lull them to sleep. Desperate for your anguish and pain to end, he started singing that old song. You stilled at the sound of his song, a burst of surprise enveloping you before your heart beat slower and your eyes started to droop. Your legs gave out soon after and Eclipse moved quickly, catching you before you fell to the ground, cradling you to his chest until you had completely fallen under his spell and your breathing fully evened out as you slept.

What was that?! He couldn't help wondering as he looked at your sleeping face, watching as a few more tears escaped from your eyes and slid down your cheeks. Who or what caused you so much pain that you broke apart like this in his arms? He wanted to think about it more, maybe even wake you and thus figure out what was going on now that your heart was finally beating steadily, but then exhaustion hit him like a truck. He really went overboard with the magic today...Especially considering how long it had been since he last used any. He gently lay your sleeping form on the sand before curling around you with his upper body, sleep taking him only seconds later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eclipse sighed softly at the memory of your pain and lovingly purred against you, holding you closer to him in hopes of keeping your worries away from you as you slept. Why had you felt such guilt and pain earlier? He had no idea and it scared him honestly to think that someone like you who was so pure of heart could be suffering so. It reminded him of...Many bad things. He sighed and gently held you closer to him before slapping his tail gently in the water, expressing his frustration in the only way he knew wouldn't wake you. Wait...

Startled the large Mer pushed himself up onto his hands before turning back around to look at his tail before flexing it upwards. Eclipse stared at his flexed tail for a moment before yelping in surprise and pushing himself away from you. He let out a slight hiss as he landed on his side before staring at his tail again. For a moment he just stayed like that, splayed on his side before laughing at himself. Heavens, he was being so silly! This was a cause for celebration! His tail was healed! He quickly pushed himself back up before heading back to you, a bright smile on his face as he gently nudged you awake, knowing that this would cheer you up far more than any sleep you got.

"Ugh...Clip? What's up?" You asked tiredly as you slowly sat up and yawned before rubbing your eyes. He felt his face grow a little warmer at your cute display before purring gently and nuzzling into your hair apologetically.

"Sorry for waking you my dear Heart, but I'm afraid I must show you something I'm sure you want to see." He said and he felt curiosity tug at your heartstrings as you quickly righted yourself and turned to him. He smiled at you before pointing to his tail and flexing it for you. "It appears my tail has finally healed itself."

For a moment you just stared at his tail, your eyes blinking dumbly as you tried to process it and Eclipse couldn't help but laugh at your cute expression. How was it you were only growing more lovely the more time he spent with you? When it finally clicked in your tired mind you gasped loudly before turning to him with stars in your eyes, barreling into him and hugging him tightly with an adorable squeal.

"OH MY GOD!!! Congratulations Eclipse!!" You cheered happily as you hugged him even harder and Eclipse chuckled before purring, pleased as he felt your smaller body pressed once more against his before hissing in disappointment when you flinched and pulled away with a horrified look on your face. "Oh! I'm so, so sorry Eclipse, I should've been more careful with..." You suddenly trailed off, your expression turning to one of shock and Eclipse tilted his head at you confused before jumping slightly as you shook your head wildly before turning back to him with a smile. "Never mind, I guess! But anyways, SO HAPPY FOR YOU CLIP!"

"Thank you, my dear Heart." He said, with a somewhat confused chuckle before gently nuzzling your hair only to let out a confused chirp as you pulled away. You must've noticed his confusion as you quickly turned back around and gave him a sweet smile that made his heart melt.

"Don't worry buddy! I'm just gonna get something to take off the splint as you obviously won't be needing it anymore." You told him cheerily before turning to your medkit and pulling out a pair of scissors.

Once your scissors were secure you quickly started wading into the water and towards his splint before using your scissors to cut through the bandages keeping his splint together. He quietly watched you as you worked, relishing in the way you placed one of your hands on his tail and gently started petting him, your heart's gentle beat soothing him as you worked. Had you tried to come this close not even a day ago he knew he would've tried to knock you away with his tail or remove the splint on his own, but now he stayed as still as he could, knowing you would never harm him on purpose. It only took you a moment before his tail was released from its healing prison and the moment it was he quickly spun around and jumped into the deeper part of the lagoon.

When was the last time he had been able to swim like this? He knew it was before his capture, but he had no clue how long ago it had been since this awful part of his life started, but when he zoomed through the water he found he didn't care too much about it. He laughed, elated as he twirled through the deeper parts of the water, exploring the plants and animals that called the seabed of the lagoon their home before jumping out of the water like he remembered watching dolphins do when he was young. He let out an elated laugh at the feeling and quickly did it again and again, his smile growing more every time he did so before catching a glimpse of you from the corner of his eye, your smile bright and wide as you cheered him on. He quickly returned to your side and before you could respond he hugged you tightly to his chest, marveling again at how natural it felt to have you in his arms before gently kissing your forehead as he had seen humans do, needing to show you how much he cared.

"Thank you, my dear Heart for helping me." He said softly as he rested his forehead against yours, watching as your face became warm and flustered from embarrassment.

"I-it's no problem Eclipse! Just doing my job!" You said with a nervous laugh before your heart jumped with a realization and you turned back to him with a curious and cautious look. "Actually, I have a few questions Eclipse, can I ask them?"

"Of course Heart. But then I wish to ask you something as well afterward." Eclipse stated as he lay back down beside you and you nodded.

"Alright, sounds fair." You said with a smile before it fell, your heart stuttering nervously. He immediately started to purr, soothing you which gave your heart the strength it needed for you to ask your question. "What...What happened earlier? I know that before I fell asleep I was really distressed, then I heard you sing and then I just got really tired out of nowhere. Did you...Do something to me? Like, sedate me with some poison or something? Or...You talked about energy, I think. But you can't use energy like that to heal, right? That's just not possible."

Eclipse stopped purring and froze at the question. He had hoped you wouldn't ask about it, that due to your stress, you would forget what he said to you or at least just let it slide, but it seemed fate was not on his side today. Now, you had given him a wonderful lie to work with which he could use to keep you in the dark about what had actually occurred...But he wanted to tell you. It continued to surprise him how easily it had been for you to gain his trust after all he had been through over the years, but he couldn't say he minded all that much. It was...Nice to trust someone again.

"No, it wasn't anything like that..." He started before stopping, feeling unsure, but a glance at your kind smile and hearing the patient pulse of your heart spurred him on. "It was magic that made you fall asleep."

"Magic?" You said, shocked and Eclipse couldn't help but chuckle at the shocked expression on your face as you tried to understand what he had just told you. "Magic?" You repeated, somehow even more confused as you looked him in the eye. "Like...Siren songs and such?"

"Yes, like siren songs and such." Eclipse mused and chuckled again at your amazed, blown-away expression before purring and gently nuzzling against your cheek. "I did not mean to make you fall asleep, but I panicked and you were freaking out so much...You needed to calm down. I'm sorry if I frightened you or broke your trust."

"Oh! No, don't worry about that! I mean, I would've preferred if you didn't put me to sleep, but I understand why you did it. I was a mess after all." You said with a smile as you rubbed the back of your neck awkwardly which made his heart melt. "Did you also use magic on my face yesterday? And on your body and tail? Cause it all healed awfully quick! I remember yesterday you had a bunch of open cuts and wounds and your tail was far from healed, so did you...?"

You trailed off, waiting for him to fill the gap but he had nothing to say, shocked as well before turning to his body. You were right. All of the little cuts and wounds he had opened when he healed you had completely disappeared, not even a scar remaining on his skin. He...Actually had no clue how they all healed and how his tail had recovered so quickly. Usually, it would take ages for his kind to heal considering the extent of his injuries and the fact he had been depleted of magic, so how did he heal so quickly? Was it because he was in the ocean once more? Or could it be you and he were...? He quickly shook it off. No, he would not entertain that idea without more proof.

"I did use magic on your cheek. As for my injuries...That healed on its own from what I know." He said, hoping it would be enough of an explanation for you, and from the way you nodded, he assumed that it was.

"Do you have other kinds of magic outside of putting people to sleep and healing them?" You asked, curious and Eclipse nodded.

"I have many different kinds of magic. I specialize in healing and emotion-based magic, but I can also create spy holes, share memories, wake people up, and do this." He said before using his magic to summon his extra pair of arms which looked identical to the ones he had, except that the one under his yellow forearm had a blue forearm and vice versa. He had a moment of uncertainty once his arms were out, but like every time before you showed him he had no reason to feel unsure or unsafe around you as you quickly grabbed his new hands and inspected them with a wide smile and stars in your eyes.

"Oh my god! This is amazing! How did we not notice sooner?" You said before seeming to think of something and wincing. "Perhaps it's for the best we didn't. After all, there are quite a few weirdos and creeps out there."

"Yes...It's because of those weirdos and creeps that we stayed hidden for so many years and still keep many of our abilities from humans now." He said, flexing the fingers on the hand you held before despawning them and gently grasping your now empty hand with one of his and gently caressing your cheek. "Now, I've answered quite a few of your questions Heart, but now I need you to answer two of mine. Who gave you that injury yesterday? And why were you in such pain?"

He felt you freeze after he asked and felt how your heart seized painfully at the thought, but before he could take it back you had already taken a deep breath to speak. It took you a few tries before something other than choked sounds came out, but he remained patient. Whenever you hurt, he would lick you or nuzzle into you to try and tell you that you were safe and thankfully, it worked as after your fifth try you finally spoke.

"I...I was hit by my boss. She was...very, very angry at me and blamed me for the death of-of 20 of my coworkers, including-" You choked on your words slightly and he immediately started to purr again to support you, urging you to keep talking. "Including two of my friends. She-she blames me for their death, but-but I had no say in this! I didn't know Clide at all! The bastard just-just hated me! He tried to kill me for fuck's sake!! Yet I get blamed for his actions?! How dare she?! It's not fair! And-and I m-miss them too...God, I miss them so much." You started to cry and he immediately spawned his extra pair of hands again before hugging you tightly, feeling as you held on to him for dear life as you shivered and your heart beat painfully in your chest. "And even though I know this...I-I still feel guilty. If I had just been there, if I had let Clide kill me then maybe-"

"No." Eclipse interrupted you before pulling you tighter, glaring at the ground behind you. How dare another human make you feel this way? You were not to blame for the death of your friends and you definitely did not deserve to die! "No, you should never feel guilty for living. There was nothing you could've done and if you had died this world would have lost its magic. It would have lost all it's light if you were no longer in it."

"...T-thank you Eclipse." You sniffled out before pulling back and smiling at him as you wiped your eyes with a laugh. "Heavens, what an ugly mess I am, huh?"

"I beg to disagree, I see only a lovely mess in front of me." Eclipse assured before licking your neck, relishing the little giggle you let out as you flushed again before stilling as he noted something he hadn't noticed before.

On both sides of your neck were mate marks. Big ones. And on each ear hung a beautiful pearl earring that radiated with magic. A mating gift and mark...You were taken. Eclipse felt his hackles rise at the realization as flashes of jealousy and shock went through him. How could he have missed this? How could he have missed that you were mated? But how had you even been mated to a Mer?! Eclipse had only heard once about such a thing as a human and Mer mating together, but he had thought it was just an old story, not reality! And why did it have to be you?! Of all humans, why did you have to be taken...

"Eclipse?" Your voice rang out, drawing him from his thoughts, but he still couldn't face you, instead glaring daggers at the proof of you being mated.

"Yes, Heart?" He forced out before flinching as your small, warm hands gently cradled his face before turning him to face you, causing him to flinch again at your concerned expression.

"Are you alright? You're shaking a lot..." You said softly, gently rubbing his cheek which made him purr softly as he placed two of his hands over yours to try and soothe you.

"I-I am fine, Heart, just surprised." He said softly before gently grabbing your hand and kissing your palm, relishing the way it made your cheeks flush. "I never thought a human could be mated to a Mer, least of all two." He paused for a moment, watching as you stared at him once more, shock written over your features and making him chuckle. Did you truly think he wouldn't notice the marks? He smiled softly before sighing and nuzzling the hand he had kissed, wishing it wasn't so. "And I must say I find it mildly regrettable, for-"

"I'm not mated to anyone." You interrupted and his eyes widened in surprise before he turned to you.

"What?" That couldn't be right, the signs were right there! Unless...He had forgotten Mer mating rituals...Did he?

"I am not mated to anyone, never have been nor do I think I ever will due to my job, so you don't have to worry about that!" You said with a smile, but Eclipse couldn't help but stare at you, mind reeling as he went through everything he knew of mating rituals.

He knew he hadn't forgotten these customs. He couldn't have. These customs have been around since the dawn of time, there was no way they had been changed! Besides, his parents had drilled it into him once he was nearing the age at which his kind searched for a mate. First, they had to present them with a gift created out of their heart's magic, then, when their heat came they marked each other to show the world who they belonged to as no two bite marks looked the same...Considering you had both a gift from two Mers and two bite marks to match he knew you were mated...But you didn't know. So maybe...

"Apologies, my Heart, I must have gotten confused by those pearls...They were created by Mers after all." He apologized, beating down his uncertainty and guilt as your eyes sparkled just as he had expected them to.

"Wait, really?! Sun and Moon made these pearls?! That's amazing! I always wondered where they got these from, but I never in a million years thought that they made it themselves! Wait, but how did they even do that?" You wondered as your brows furrowed in thought before your eyes flashed to the hand Eclipse extended towards you hesitantly.

"If you want...I can show you?" He asked, suppressing his guilt as you immediately started to nod.

"Please! I'd love to see your magic in action! Ah! But only if it doesn't take too much out of you..." You trailed off and Eclipse chuckled before gently kissing the top of your head.

"I feel stronger than I have in a while, so it should be fine. Besides, this magic is from a different source and as long as I don't use too much of it, it should be fine." He assured you, noting your uncertainty before gently nuzzling your neck, and purring softly. "I promise, if it becomes too much I will stop immediately."

"...You promise?" You asked, eyes uncertain. When he nodded he noticed that the worry in your heart didn't completely abate, but you sighed and nodded anyway. "Alright then. If you're fine with it then I'd love to see your magic in action."

Eclipse smiled at this before nodding and gently pulling away from you in order to concentrate on what he was about to do, but just when he was about to start with his plan to mate with you he stopped. This was wrong, so very wrong. You were already mated and, even if you didn't know it he and the two Mers you were mated with certainly knew! If he went through with this he'd either have to share you with your other partners or kill them and he didn't think he could do either of those things. He needed to stop now before it was too late!

But, then again, if he stopped he would lose you, his potential soul-bound mate. He would lose your sweet smile and sparkling eyes and kind heart...He wasn't sure if he could live without you if he was being honest. He turned to you and his heart skipped a beat at your curious yet concerned face, something inside him strengthening his resolve. Yes, he would do this. Even if it was wrong, with you being the prize it felt so right. He wouldn't lose you to those two Mers and if he really had to he would gladly kill them if it meant he could keep you close.

With that final thought in mind, he started to create the perfect pearl for you that encompassed him in his entirety. The magic flowed from him freely and easily with no problem and he smiled as he watched it swirl and change in a show of lights, his smile widening at your amazed gaze. Sadly, the moment of ease was short-lived and he quickly started to feel drained again, causing him to curse in his native tongue before jumping as you placed your warm, tiny hand over his. Suddenly he felt a burst of energy go through him and the energy started to solidify and compress itself, turning into a pearl before two strands of energy wound out and rejoined, creating a beautiful necklace with your help.

Once he felt it was done he clasped his hands together and held the pearl to his heart, feeling the magic revolt against the tiny space it was now confined in before it finally calmed, growing more solid and heavy before the glow finally disappeared. He watched as you gazed at his hands in amazement, feeling ever more sure of his choice as he gently nuzzled into you again, relishing your little giggle before opening his hands once more to reveal the gift he created for you.

There was the pearl necklace he had created for you, black, golden, and orange-red pearls creating a chain around a larger pearl, this one being the color of the sunset on one side before turning into the deepest black of night on the other with glitters dotting it as well. This was what he had created for you, but to his surprise, there was one other pearl there too. This one was far smaller than his in different shades of (F/c) attached to a string of white pearls that would fit him perfectly as a bracelet. The strangest thing about it though was that it was radiating with an energy that reminded him of your heartbeat. Could it be...? Did you...?

"Oh wow! They're gorgeous!" You suddenly squealed out excitedly, snapping him from his thoughts. He smiled at your excitement before gently draping the pearl necklace over your head so that the large pearl rested against your heart, making him shudder at the feeling of connectedness as the string of pearls magically adjusted itself to keep the pearl against your heart.

"It looks absolutely stunning on you, my dear Heart." He cooed, smiling widely as your cheeks flushed brightly before taking the other pearl and putting it on his right arm. After all, it would be a shame to waste the beautiful gift his soul-bound mate had created for him. "And now we match."

For a moment there was just blissful silence where the two of you just basked in each other's company, feeling warm and safe in the space of care that only two new mates could create. If Eclipse was being honest he wished he could make this moment last forever...Yet all it took for the moment to disappear was the sound of a stick breaking in the foliage beyond your little beach. The two of you quickly turned towards the sound before Eclipse let out a roar as a small dart lodged itself into his shoulder.

"ECLIPSE!" You yelled and you quickly pulled the dart out, giving him a second of relief before he heard guns clicking. He snarled and quickly twisted you behind him before roaring in fury as more little darts came over him. He felt your heartbeat quicken as you panicked before pushing him aside a bit and rushing towards where the darts were coming from. "STOP!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

"HEART!! GET BACK-" He yelled only to roar again as another couple of darts found their mark on his skin.

You quickly turned around at the sound of his yelling, quickly rushing to him. But due to your turned back, you failed to notice the black net coming your way. He watched with wide eyes as the force of the net pushed you onto the ground with a grunt, registering your pained shriek before you fell limp. Eclipse roared again in fury and despite his growing tiredness immediately started getting up, trying to get to you when another, larger net caught him. He only had a second to register the electric pain that coursed through his body before all went dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Where are they?!" Sun said nervously as he fiddled with his claws and swam from side to side near the front of the prison watching the main building and pathway anxiously for any sign of you as Moon curled and uncurled himself on the beach as he tried, and failed to rest.

Moon wished he could just go up and tell Sun to calm down and be quiet so that he could rest. Moon wished he could reassure Sun that you would be fine, but Moon couldn’t find the energy to do so with how tired he was and worried he was for your wellbeing. He had waited all night for your return when Sun had gone to bed, both of them thinking you were just late or overwhelmed due to your grief or maybe your secret side thing was holding you up. However, when the sun rose and continued its trip through the sky, dusk now nearly here, and you had still not returned...Neither of them could relax.

Unable to handle his brother's nervous fidgeting and calls Moon dove into the water before swimming to a small cave and gently moving some of the plants aside, grabbing the prizes hidden within: a ring that had been chewed on quite a bit and a ball with a broken 'paddle' he later learned it was called. The two gifts you had given him when you had read him that first story so many nights ago. He gently took the two gifts, placing the ring in his mouth before gently trailing his fingers over the ball and paddle, feeling a sense of comfort and nostalgia going through him as he recalled those first few nights with you.

Stars, he couldn't believe that there was once a time when he did not trust you nor miss you when you left. That once he wanted you gone, out of his life, and never to return. Oh, how ironic fate had been when it sent you his way. Now he couldn't be a full night without you, not that anyone could blame him. He gently fingered the mating fin around his neck and sighed, hoping you would return soon so that he could show it to you, knowing you would be ecstatic to see that he had matured as well. Maybe after that, you could all cuddle together, and then when night fell the two of you could 'bond' some more. Oh how awful it had been to be alone with his heat still raging within him and the nest being cold in your absence-

"MOONIE!!" Moon jumped at the sudden squeal and quickly turned around just in time to brace himself when Sun ran into him, his hands grabbing Moon's upper arms with a shocking amount of strength that startled the darker Mer into silence. "MOON! PLEASE, COME QUICK! ITS SUNSHINE!!"

Moon's eyes widened in shock and he quickly put the toys back before rushing after Sun who was already heading back to the surface. Once he was there, he quickly looked around, hoping you had returned, but when he didn't see you and instead saw Sun hyper focussed on the water he knew something awful was happening. He quickly rushed over before drawing in a shocked breath at what Sun's vision was showing him.

They saw you in a dark room, banging against a metal door as you swore like mad. Your hair and clothes had been burnt somewhat and sullied with grime and even some blood as you continuously banged your fists against the door with a fury and fear they had never seen in you before. He also noticed a necklace around your neck that he had never seen before, causing a flare of jealousy to go through him. Who had the gall to mate with you after you were obviously theirs?! Whoever it was he would make sure to rip them apart piece by tiny, insignificant piece-

"YOU CAN'T KEEP ME HERE YOU BASTARDS!! LET ME THE FUCK OUT AND LET ME SEE ECLIPSE!!" You suddenly yelled, snapping Moon out of his thoughts as he watched you punch the door one final time, far harder than any time he had seen since arriving before falling to your knees with a sob as you hugged yourself. "Please...Please let him be okay."

You whispered and Moon felt his heart clench. Even though he was furious you were thinking of someone other than him or Sun he couldn't blame you. You were far too kind and caring for your own good after all and you were a terrifying place without knowing that Sun and Moon would probably be able to get to you easily. His poor Starlight…They needed to get to you right- Suddenly the door to your little room swung open, nearly hitting you had you not jumped away from the door in the last second and revealed something from one of your horror stories that made both him and Sun gasp in shock.

The creature that entered your room stood well over 2 meters tall, its darkened flesh that was hanging onto its skeleton by a hair was mostly burnt off, showing off the ugly, rusty metal mess of bones hidden underneath. Vaguely, it reminded him of a rabbit, but with the exposed teeth that looked like that of a decomposing skull, the sharp, metal claws, loose wires, red pinprick eyes, and broken ears it resembled something more akin to a zombie which terrified you if the way you were shaking was anything to go by. However, much to Moon's delight, you quickly recollected yourself and stood up, your fury taking over your fear as you stood up to the imposing beast with a snarl that could rival even his.

"Who-WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT ARE YOU-" You screamed before the being suddenly hit your head, moving far too fast for you to even register what it was doing with its metal hand, causing both Sun and Moon to snarl. How DARE that creature harm you, their beautiful, precious Starlight?! As if it could hear them the being then turned to them, almost seeming like it saw them looking in through Sun's magic before snapping his fingers, causing the vision to dissipate, taking you with it. For a moment the two stood there in silence, shocked before Moon let out an angered roar and started beating the water furiously.

Why? WhywhywhywhyWHY?! Why you?! You had done nothing wrong and now you were being held against your will by a monster! He knew humans were awful, but seeing you on the receiving end of human cruelty made him snap. He quickly turned to his brother with a snarl, ready to try and convince him to go out and do what they had to do, but when he locked eyes with Sun he knew he needed no convincing. Now they would enact their revenge on all of the humans who had harmed you.

“I-I think we need to put our plan into action Moonie. Now.” Sun said determinedly, but the way Sun stuttered as he shook, eyes full of disgust, self-loathing, and horror at the thought of what they would have to do made Moon stop. Yes, they needed to save you and punish the humans here on this island that had allowed this to happen, but he couldn’t let Sun spiral into that self-hatred again like he did yesterday so quickly gave his brother a side-hug, feeling Sun jump at the embrace.

“I couldn’t agree with you more Sun.” Moon said with a smile before gently butting his head against Sun’s reassuringly. “But I will take care of most of the killing, you just focus on Vanessa, alright? I can take them all.”

“…Alright…Thank you, Moonie.” Sun thanked Moon, relief evident on his face before he turned invisible and slipped through the door using the spare key they stole from you ages ago.

Moon stared at the open door for a moment before gently slipping through as well and hiding in the shrubs right outside the door. He couldn’t camouflage using the light like Sun could, so he had to be far more careful to get this plan to work. He slowly snuck around before noticing a guard walking past, making Moon smirk. How lucky was he to find someone so soon with a universal key? With the smirk still on his face he started his song and put their plan into action.

[lilyevanstan1325]

🔥 Dangerous Game 🔥

Chapter 17

Amaya POV

Stunned and staggering, I return to the great Tower dragging myself towards the kitchen.

A shiver runs through me making me tremble all over.

Bucky is gone.

I still can't believe it.

I forced him to leave.

I think back to his words.

"Please stop playing the victim"

I've always felt like the victim throughout this whole story.

I am the victim.

But in hindsight he was too, he was always a victim.

Victim of HYDRA.

Victim of the choices those cruel men made for him.

As I did with him.

I chose for him.

I close my eyes taking a deep breath.

I admit I was mean to Bucky, I put all my anger in his face not caring about him and his feelings.

Am I repentant?

No, at that moment I couldn't have stayed by his side.

But if I could go back I would choose another way to end my story with him.

We loved each other, in our own way but we loved each other.

But basically we are just two broken souls who together were just trying to survive.

A noise behind me catches my attention making me turn my head abruptly.

Steve and Natasha have just entered the kitchen, Steve walks over to the counter grabbing two cups of coffee while Nat sits down with a slight smile in my direction.

They are obviously awake.

Bucky will surely drop by to say goodbye before he leaves.

An icy silence spreads throughout the kitchen.

From the way Nat keeps her head down, I understand perfectly well that my presence is putting them in trouble.

I understand them.

I understand Steve.

Bucky is his best friend, his brother.

They are one another's family.

I'm sure Steve is reliving his old pain in him, the pain he felt when he thought he had lost his best friend forever.

I have to say something, I feel I have to say something.

"Steve I..."

"Please shut up"

His abrupt interruption makes me jump on the spot.

Steve has always been nice to me and to any other human being, never a rude answer.

This outburst of anger really took me off guard.

Natasha's head jerks up as she turns to her fiance.

"Steve!" she scolds him between her teeth.

I look down guilty.

"No Nat, Steve is right" I murmur sadly.

My gaze lifts chaining to that of the man in front of me.

"I'm sorry"

"It's not true Amaya.You finally feel relieved.He is gone and you are free.Absolutely free to live your new life" Steve replies sadly.

Natasha gets up to join him.

"Steve, honey!That's enough"

Steve looks at his woman, a mixture of love and sorrow in his eyes.

"No babe.I've been silent so far but that's enough now.I know she is your best friend but Bucky is my best friend.And now he's gone because of her"

Steve speaks without taking his gaze from her even though his words are all for me.

Natasha turns to me.

"Amaya I'm sorry" she whispers, her eyes filled with tears.

I gently shake my head.

"That's okay Nat.Steve is right" I tell her, swallowing the knot in my throat.

"Steve I know you're angry and you don't believe me but I really didn't want it to end like this.I was wrong to treat Bucky badly but I'm not sorry for my choice.I couldn't stay with him"

Steve's hard eyes finally come back to my face.

"Do you want to know what I honestly think?" he asks me and I just nod unable to answer.

"I think you never loved him or at least you didn't love him as much as you insisted on making him believe.I can understand the pain and the disappointment but how could you forget him so quickly?How did you end up in someone else's arms so easily?"

Steve's words hit me like he just slapped me.

His words manage to make me feel small.

Dirty.

I lower my head back to observe my hands which are now torturing the hem of my shirt.

"This is not true" I murmur in a trembling voice.

"I don't think so.Amaya you know I love you and I consider you a great friend of mine but honestly I don't feel like you have suffered so much.You certainly haven't suffered as much as Buck"

I clench my fists in anger.

"You don't know anything Steve.My soul is torn apart since the day I lost my parents.The excruciating pain I felt led me to cut it all out...and what Bucky did to me was horrible but, in order to survive, I put my armor back on.I closed my pain at the bottom of my soul.I have to survive and if I had let the pain win I don't know if I would ever have been able to do it"

My eyes fill with tears.

I feel the anger running up my stomach until it explodes in my brain.

Steve snorts turning his back on me.

"He begged me to let him go" I say vehemently.

I see the Captain's shoulders stiffen.

"Good morning.Good morning sweetheart, have you been awake a long time ago?"

At the sound of Lucas' voice I try to find a minimum of composure but I think I have failed.

Lucas's gaze tapers and his smile fades from his face.

Obviously the situation could not go unnoticed.

Nat's shining eyes and Steve's stiffness in his body are already suspicious if he adds my tormented expression to it, it's obvious that he has noticed.

"What happens?" Lucas asks cautiously.

Steve turns to me, crossing his arms over his chest, giving me a mean half smile.

He is challenging me.

He wants to see if I can tell Lucas the truth.

I turn to the man next to me smiling bitterly.

"Bucky is gone.And Steve is mad at me because it's my fault"

Lucas watches me, his gaze is indecipherable.

"It's not your fault" Lucas murmurs trying in his own way to help me.

I smile at his thoughtfulness.

"Lucas, you also know it's not true.It's my fault.I talked to him, I tried to stop him but he was clear.He says he can't live where I am too"

Lucas remains silent and motionless, his arms dangling along his body.

I can see the confusion in his eyes.

Right now he hasn't the faintest idea of his position in this whole story.

We look deeply into eyes.

Lucas is trying to understand my true state of mind.

I break our eye contact when I see Steve rush out of the room.

Nat watches him go and before following him she approaches me grabbing my hands and squeezing them in hers.

"Give him some time.He'll get over it" she whispers to me.

"I'm sorry.I didn't want to hurt any of you" I whimper with my heart swollen with anger and regret for making my friends suffer.

The former Russian spy shakes her head and gives me a sweet smile.

"It's not your fault.I'll talk to him and make him think.Now he's hurt.He feels alone and scared"

I take a step closer and taking my hands out of her grip, I wrap my arms around her neck, squeezing her in an embrace full of love.

"Are we still best friends?" I ask with my voice broken with fear.

Natasha chuckles in my ear.

"Obvious honey.We will be friends forever" she replies, increasing her grip around my body.

"Go to Steve" I urge her.

"He needs you now" I add, sniffing at her.

We exchange a last look full of sorrow and many unspoken words and Nat leaves the kitchen leaving me and Lucas alone.

Lucas hasn't stopped looking at me for a moment, his eyes are glued to my face.

He's studying me, he's trying to figure out if and how much I can still be attached to Bucky.

"No more lies?" he asks me uncertainly.

"No more lies" I whisper.

I watch him as he leans against the kitchen table, right next to me.

"Have you talked to Bucky?"

I nod at his first question.

For a moment there is absolute silence in the kitchen, a silence full of tension.

I risk a glance in his direction.

He has his arms crossed and the muscles of his arms stretch the fabric of the shirt he is wearing.

His head is bowed forward and his eyes are closed.

I would like to reach out to caress his soft blonde hair but I hold back, this is not the time.

Now he just needs my answers and I'll give them to him trying to be honest.

I too cross my arms on my chest in order to keep my hands at bay, which are shaking dangerously at the moment.

"Did you ask him to stay?" he asks me and here I can hear all the pain in his voice.

"Yes"

"Why?"

"Because this is his house Lucas.He is an Avengers and the Avengers are his family.This is his life and I snatched it away from him"

Lucas nods, raising his head and opening his eyes again.

He turns to me that I have not stopped admiring his profile even for a moment.

"Are you sorry you done with him?"

I just shake my head in denial.

Our eyes remain chained.

"Do you still love him?"

I start visibly trying to mask the pain that his question has awakened in my heart.

I love him?

I don't know.

I don't know how to answer this question.

"Wrong question?" Lucas asks softly, hinting at a sad smile.

I sigh trying to find the words.

"No I...I...I don't think I love him yet but that doesn't take away the fact that he was important to me.And in the end it always will be.If today I reopened to love it was thanks to him, he gave me the strength to open up to life again.If today I am who I am it is thanks to Bucky" I honestly admit.

"This is not an answer Amaya.Do you still love him?" he asks me again, staring at me with such intensity that it makes me flinch.

I move nervously away from him reaching the window.

I observe my beautiful and fascinating city that has turned white during the night.

"I think not"

"Yes or no?It's a simple question Amaya"

"I don't know, okay?" I scream in exasperation as I turn in his direction.

I hear my heart beating furiously, the deafening echo of it echoing in my ears.

"Why are you stay with me then?"

I raise a eyebrow confused.

"Because I like you and because you make me feel good" I reply.

As if he didn't already know these things.

"That's all?" he asks me, joining me and standing in front of me.

I smile.

"Don't play this game with me Lucas.You always knew my intentions from the start.I've never hidden anything from you.You know what I feel and you accepted" I reply pointing a finger at his chest.

"If that's not enough, you can go.I never forced you to stay with me and I never will"

"It's true, you never forced me but you let me understand that you were no longer in love with him and now it turns out that you are no longer so sure"

I am stunned by his behavior.

I didn't expect such a ruthless attack from him.

People are never what they seem.

Suddenly Fury's words echo in my head.

Yeah, this is true.

First Bucky now Lucas, both are turning out to be the opposite of what I thought.

"I never play with you Lucas.Everything I've done I've always done because I really wanted it"

He shakes his head, the shadow of a bitter smile on his lips.

"Listen to me Lucas!I am like that.I'm not a perfect woman, I'm not the perfect woman you painted in your head.I am damaged, my feelings are.The years I spent killing people for Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. they reduced me like this.You...you are a good guy.You joined the S.H.I.E.L.D. to save the people, to save the world.I did it to kill" I admit aloud for the first time in my life.

I always let it be believed that I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. to follow in my parents' footsteps...and it might as well have been if they were still here with me.

But when I did it I did it only to quench my thirst for revenge.

I smile because I finally feel like a huge weight has evaporated from above my heart.

Lucas looks at me in disbelief and I take advantage of his silence to continue talking.

"I had so much anger inside me that killing seemed like the best way to vent.I have been training for years and have become the best assassin in this world.I got to the point of killing with my bare hands just for the fun of it" I hiss as my stomach churns with rage.

The bile burns my throat as it climbs up.

"They were bad men"

I snort giggling at his sad attempt to console me.

I don't seek consolation for what I have done.

I'm not looking for redemption.

"Bullshit Lucas.It's just bullshit.If you had worked at my level and seen what I saw I am sure you would have left your badge on Fury's desk.They weren't just bad people.Sometimes they were simply uncomfortable people at S.H.I.E.L.D. nothing more"

Lucas narrows his eyes.

"Why are you telling me all this?" he asks me.

His shoulders are stiff, his whole posture is.

His hands are clenched in two fists and his jaw is tight and stiff.

I can clearly see his discomfort at this intimate confession of mine.

"To make you understand that the person you think you are in love does not exist.I am what I am.I am arrogant, presumptuous.I'm stubborn.I'm mean and soulless.What is left of the real me is a mixture of anxiety, uncertainty and pain.I am living but I am already dead" my voice dies out on the last words.

"I thought I could go on living by letting myself be guided by feelings.I thought that with you I was succeeding..."

"But?" Lucas interrupts me.

"But you are too a good guy.Too sweet.Your confident way of seeing the world doesn't suit me.I tried.I really wanted your optimism to give me the right push towards a calmer life but it's not for me"

Lucas looks at me and I could swear I saw a flash of anger in his ever so kind eyes.

"Barnes is for you instead, right?"

I shake my head laughing.

"No.I choose me today.No man.I just want to learn to live for me and me only"

Lucas takes a step back, running a hand through his short hair.

He looks surprised.

I don't think he expected the discussion to take this turn.

Honestly, I didn't expect it either.

But I am tired and I will no longer allow anyone to judge my choices and my actions.

"So are you dumping me?" he asks me incredulously.

"I like you, I like to talk and laugh with you.The night we just spent was beautiful but I'm not ready for a relationship.And Barnes has nothing to do with it.The whole pivot of the matter is me.I have to love myself.I have tortured my body and my soul and now I have to apologize to myself.For too many years I have blamed myself for something that I have never been in control of"

Lucas laughs as if he is amused by the whole situation.

"This is a beautiful bullshit Amaya" he taunts me.

"Yes, I know" I reply accompanying my words with a laugh.

"I've never been much for this Zen bullshit but now I really feel the need to take care of myself.Believe it or not"

Lucas licks his lips as if he's getting ready to say something.

I observe him patiently giving him time to find the right words.

"Jesus Christ!" he exclaims slamming his palm on the table in a nervous and angry gesture.

"For a moment...just for a moment I believed that you and I could really have a future.I also introduced you to all my friends.What a idiot!" he murmurs between his teeth.

"If it can make you feel better, just tell them that I was a bitch"

"It doesn't make me feel better Amaya.I thought we had told no more lies and instead you lied to me"

"And here you are wrong" I answer, approaching him.

"I've always been honest with you.I wanted to be with you day after day, no plans for the future.Day after day, just this.But apparently you didn't listen to me and you lulled yourself into the illusion that mine were just words.What did you expect me to tell you after one night that I love you and that I couldn't imagine my life without you?"

I know I'm blaming him harshly but I don't accept him changing the cards between us.

I never promised him anything and instead he is making me pass for a manipulative liar.

"We want two different things Lucas.You deliberately ignored my will"

Lucas clenches his jaw.

I have a point.

I'm a little sorry but I want him to understand the real reason for our breakup.

"I'm sorry.I didn't want to be so direct, I just want you to understand my point.I'm not asking you to accept it but to try to understand me"

I try to soften my tone.

Lucas is just a victim.

Another victim of my choices.

I am a really bad person.

"Lucas..."

"Go to hell Amaya" he spits angrily and then turns his back on me and exits the kitchen like a fury bumping into Sam.

"Hey man!" Sam yells at him recovering his balance but Lucas has now disappeared from our view.

Sam turns to me and joins me.

"What the hell is wrong with your friend?" he asks me rubbing his shoulder where Lucas hit him as he passed.

"Leave him alone.He is pissed.And he's not my friend anymore" I murmur, pinching the top of my nose between my fingers, my eyes tightly closed.

"I understand...trouble in paradise, huh?" he asks giggling.

"I wish there was a paradise.Here it's all a fucking hell" I grumble approaching the table and grabbing a chair I sit on it.

"Bad sex?"

"What?"

"I didn't hear you scream...so I guess it was a flop"

I roll my eyes.

"You're an idiot Wilson" I replied disconsolately.

"With Bucky you were screaming most of the time" my friend adds as if nothing had happened.

I look at him in shock, crossing my arms over my chest.

My face is on fire.

"What's up?He seemed very pissed off...maybe you pointed out your dissatisfaction"

"Sam you are an incredible gossipy.Anyway, for your information, I just decided to end our pseudo relationship and he didn't take it very well"

After a few moments, a hand pushes a hot, steaming cup of wonderful coffee under my nose.

"Thanks Sam.At the moment maybe you are the only person who doesn't hate me" I smile.

I would like to remain impassive but I feel the tears stinging behind my closed eyelids.

"Amaya?Amaya look at me please" Sam's sweet voice calls me back.

I try to erase the pain from the features of my face and I lift my gaze, planting it in Sam's chocolate irises.

"Nobody hates you"

I laugh, shaking my head.

"Bucky hates me.Steve hates me.Now Lucas hates me too"

"Steve?"

"Mmh mmh" I nod, returning to focus my attention on the coffee.

I take a few sips to relieve my parched mouth.

"This morning he literally told me it's my fault that Bucky is gone.And by his standards I would also be a whore" I giggle sadly turning back to Sam who at the moment has a rather confused expression on his face.

"Why that face?Basically it is true.Bucky left because he doesn't want to live where I am and I literally threw myself into someone else's arms in a few months.So..."

"Bucky is an adult man, if he wanted to leave it was his choice.It's not your fault"

I raise my eyebrows, a skeptical expression is painted on my face.

"Are you kidding me?"

"No Amaya.We are not children, loves come and go.Take Natasha for example.Before she met Steve and fell in love with him, she and Bruce were together.Yet now they continue to live and work together.Steve and Bruce are friends.That's what adults do.Bucky just needs time.As for Steve, for him everything is beyond the limits of decency, his centennial old ass has only what difficulty adapting to today's standards"

We look at each other for a moment then we both burst out laughing like two idiots.

Sam looks at me glad he got me a laugh.

"Do you want me to talk to Steve?"

I shake my head.

"I'll handle that.I have the situation under control" I reply.

I don't know if that's true but I want to try and fix it with Steve only with my strength.

We sit in silence sipping coffee enjoying a little quiet.

"You still love him?"

My God why?

Why they keep asking me this question!

"I don't know" I sigh.

"I hate him for what he did to me but a small part of me keeps repeating to me C'mon Amaya! It's Bucky" I admit in a faint voice.

Sam looks straight ahead.

"Do you remember last night?When did we dance together and I ask you if you were happy?"

"Sure" I reply.

It seems to have happened a lifetime ago and instead only a few hours have passed.

"I did not believe your answer even for a moment" he replies amused.

I turn to him to study his expression.

He gives me back a calm and serene look.

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I know you.Amaya Snow doesn't take advice from anyone.Arrogant and pedantic as you are, you would have told me to go fuck myself.So I just waited for you to come to your own conclusions.Of course I didn't know it would only take you one night...but hey!You have always been a woman of a thousand surprises" laughs Sam.

I open my mouth to argue but closed it immediately.

Why?

Because Sam is right.

That bastard.

Sam knows he has the point and smiles triumphantly without adding anything.

"I hate you" I murmur as I bring my lips to the cup to take another sip of coffee.

"Nah, that's not true and you know it!" he rejoices standing up.

"Let's go" he urges me, offering me a hand.

"Where?"

"Let's go and do it"

"No Sam, I'm not in the mood"

"C'mon Amaya.You have always liked doing it with me and it always puts you in a good mood"

"Not today Sam.I have a commitment"

"Cowardly.You're just scared" my friend teases me.

"Wilson I don't understand all this urge of yours to be beaten in a fight by a girl.It's humiliating" I mock him.

"Woah woah!Last time I kicked your ass" he yells at me as I walk away.

I turn to him, continuing to walk.

"If that makes you sleep at night" I yell at him in response, shrugging.

In response, he shows me his middle finger and I walk away smiling.

I go back to my room to change.

I quickly put on some pants and a sweater, sit on the bed to put on my boots and grab my leather jacket from the top of the chair.

All strictly black.

Black like my mood today.

Black like my soul.

If I still have one.

I doubt it.

After all I just broke a sweet and good man's heart, I believe this one on Jesus' list of bad deeds is on par with skinning live puppies.

I stride away from my room but find myself slowing down near Steve and Natasha's.

I need to clear things up with Steve, I can't live with this sorrow.

I gather all the courage I have left and knock on the door.

To open the door is Steve who as soon as he sees me stiffens his posture.

"Nat is taking a shower, I will tell her that you have passed" he replies coldly and without even giving me time to open my mouth he is about to close the door in my face but I put a foot in the middle of the door.

"Ouch!Better this way because I have to talk to you.And I won't accept a no"

We stare at each other for a few seconds then Steve sighs and closing the door behind him agrees to talk to me.

He crosses his mighty arms and looks at me from top to bottom.

"I am willing to leave, I will be able to live elsewhere.Maybe get accommodation from S.H.I.E.L.D. I'll do anything in my power to get Bucky back"

Steve's gaze just melts.

"You don't need Amaya.I overacted before and I'm sorry I talked to you like that but I was hurt.I am hurt.Letting go Bucky doesn't make me feel good" the Captain admits with downcast eyes.

"I know and believe me I am immensely sorry for putting you in this situation.You are one of those few people I can consider a friend, I'm sorry I hurt you" I apologize with all the sincerity in my heart.

"That's okay.Friends?" Steve replies, offering me his big hand.

I watch him, a shy and genuine smile curls his lips.

I grab his hand and with a voice trembling with emotion I whisper "Friends"

Steve draws me into his arms and I cling to him as if he were an anchor in this sea of pain and loneliness.

"I didn't want him to go away" I whimper, holding me closer to him.

"I know it.I believe you"

Steve's words heartened me more than anything else.

We break away from our embrace a little embarrassed.

Steve scratches his neck moving from one foot to the other in an evident state of discomfort.

"Can I ask you a question Amaya?"

"Yes, of course you can"

"Do you still love him?Bucky I mean"

What the hell is wrong with everyone today?

I shrug unable to respond.

Steve understands my embarrassment and glosses over the matter.

"Ok I'm going now.I have a commitment for lunch" I announce starting to walk away from my friend.

Steve greets me but before he can go into his room I turn around and call him.

"Steve?"

He turns to me, his eyes as large and clear as the ocean stare at me.

"I broke up with Lucas"

Even though he would like to hide it I can see a flash of happiness in his eyes.

I know he'd still bet on me and Bucky.

I smile at him and walk away.

My annual Christmas lunch date awaits me.

The door opens after I knock a couple of times.

"I think it's time to buy a hearing aid" I begin as I enter the small apartment.

"I've been out here for five minutes, my ass is frozen" I murmur.

"Merry Christmas to you too Snow"

I reach the small kitchen and put down the food I have brought to the table.

"What are you doing here?" the man in front of me asks me.

I raise an eyebrow in response.

"You won't think I'm abandoning our Christmas lunch tradition just because I've become an Avengers!"

"Tradition?"

"We've been spending Christmas day together for thirteen years Nick, I think at this point we can call it tradition" I reply grabbing the beers from the bag and handing one to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

"Why do you insist on calling me Nick?Even my mother didn't call me that" he snorts accepting the beer I'm offering him.

I laugh amused.

"Because I love to bother you"

Fury rolls his eyes and together, like every year for thirteen years now, we set the table filling it with takeaway food and beer.

Ever since my parents died I've always found myself spending Christmas Day with Fury.

At first he just called me into his office giving me stupid and boring tasks with the sole purpose of keeping me in the office with him.

Then slowly the food was added until we arrived to have a lunch at his house.

I think besides me only Maria Hill and Carol Danvers know where the director lives.

We eat in silence, enjoying the excellent food that Stark himself, knowing that I would not have spent lunch with them so as not to leave Fury alone, had taken care to order from one of the best restaurants in town.

"Stark always tastes great" Nick murmurs as he bites into a piece of roast.

"I know" I murmur in ecstasy as delicate mushroom escalopes melt on my tongue.

"Much better than that miserable take away we're used to" I add, sprinkling it all down with a generous sip of beer.

Fury is studying me, his good eye points to me like a hawk would do with his prey.

"What's up?" I ask confused.

"What are you doing here Amaya?Why you are not with your friends?Or with your new boyfriend" Fury asks me.

"Christmas is spent with the family.You are my family.I would not leave you alone for anything in this world" I reply, glossing over the last part of his question.

Apparently the rumors are running fast.

Fury continues to scrutinize me closely.

"Don't look at me like that...Lucas isn't my new boyfriend.We were together, an adventure.But it didn't last long.Apparently we had different goals" I add.

I hope he let me go now.

"I imagine.He wanted you and you wanted Barnes.Difficult to reconcile your wishes"

Ok.

Forget it.

"Don't bullshit Fury.Bucky is a thing of the past and Lucas wanted something that I can't give him at the moment" I reply annoyed by his logic.

"What do you want Amaya?What do you really want?" the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. asks me grabbing his beer and finishing it in a couple of sips.

"I want to stop always feeling like I'm drowning.As if I have to continually struggle to stay afloat" I admit with a lump in my throat.

In front of me there is a man who, even though he may appear gruff and heartless to the whole world, cares about me and I know that I can trust him.

"I feel a prisoner even though I am free.Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never open them again"

My eyes fill with tears.

"I would just like to have mom and dad back" I add bursting into tears.

I look at the man in front of me who looks at me with regret.

He lets me cry, he doesn't console me with his pity or with stupid phrases of circumstance.

He just lets me vent.

"This is the life Amaya.It often sucks and to survive we must try to do our best"

"But I'm tired of surviving.I am tired.I want to live" I admit sadly.

"Yet I have seen you live.I saw you happy my daughter"

Fury rarely addresses me like this and when he does it is because he is really worried about me.

"When Sergeant Barnes was by your side, I saw you alive" adds Fury.

I shake my head.

"That is the past.What Bucky did..."

" Bullshit Snow" he cuts me off abruptly.

"Be honest with yourself at least.Can't you really see the good faith in his behavior?Do you really think Barnes lied to you for the fun of it?"

I look away from him unable to hold his gaze.

I have never been good at holding his attentive and enigmatic gaze, capable of digging deep into your soul.

In these five months I haven't tried to be honest with myself in the slightest.

"Fuck!" I exclaim in exasperation.

I let myself be guided by anger because anger is the only feeling in which I find myself.

I have lived a life in anger and the idea of stopping and examining my true feelings has always scared me.

If I ignore certain feelings they can't hurt me.

Because I am just a human at the end of the game and how much pain can a heart take before it collapses?

Fury sees the hesitation in my eyes.

"Do you still love him?"

"What the hell do you all have today?Why do you keep asking me this fucking question?" I shout in exasperation slamming my hand on the table.

The dishes clink with the reverberation of the blow.

"Yes or no?" Fury insists.

I close my eyes throwing my head back.

When I open them again in front of my eyes there is only the white ceiling which after a few moments turns into Bucky's face, his eyes as blue as the twilight smile at me full of love.

A tear rolls down my cheek.

Damn!

Bucky POV

The lake at night is truly wonderful.

Black and smooth like a velvet cloak.

I refused to live in the Royal Palace precisely because I love the nature of this enchanting place.

I asked if I could have my old hut by the lake back and T'Challa, who is a kind and generous friend, satisfied me immediately.

So, after having modernized it and adding some comforts that, according to Shuri, cannot be missing in the life of a human being, I returned to the lake.

Calling it a hut is an understatement.

It is at least three times bigger than my old accommodation and if the former one had a cot and a small bathroom this is absolutely crazy.

It has a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom.

I look up to the sky and remain enchanted.

Here the stars are more beautiful, without the artificial lights of the city they shine by the millions above my head.

Now the month of May has arrived and soon I will have to return to New York for Steve's wedding.

I don't feel ready to leave Wakanda yet but I could never do such a wrong to my best friend.

Or to Natasha.

In this months I stayed in touch with everyone.

Even Tony and Sharon call me at least once a week to check on my condition.

Steve and Sam keep me constantly updated on everything, except for her.

I was clear about this from the start.

Nobody has to name her or tell me about her and her new life.

It is already difficult to free myself from the thought of her without being told about her.

I'm trying to let her go.

It's hard but I'm trying.

A small noise attracts my attention, there is something moving in the bushes.

It will surely be some small wild animal.

I return to contemplate the lake but the noise gets closer and this time it is accompanied by a soft meow.

I get up and approaching the bush where that little moan comes from and I find a small white kitten.

Trembling and dirty, this little wad looks at me in fear.

"What are you doing here, little one?Where is your mom?" I ask, bending over my knees and moving the branches of the bush I make my way towards him.

"Meow" meows him in response bringing his nose close to my hand.

I let him smell me and avoiding sudden movements I grab him and bring him to my chest.

"I got you my little friend.Don't worry" I whisper to him and as if he could understand me, he sinks his little head into my chest.

I quickly enter the hut, grab a couple of soft towels and create a kind of nest for him.

I carefully place him inside.

"Stay here, I'll be right back"

I get up and go to the kitchen from where I grab a bowl that I fill with water and another where I put some leftovers from my dinner.

I go back to my little friend hoping he didn't run away.

I find him where I left, he intend to lick his paw.

He looks hurt.

"Hey buddy, take it!" I tell him bringing both bowls close to his nose.

First he takes a few sips of water then literally pounces on the fish that has left over from dinner.

I smile heartily.

"You like it, huh?It is very fresh.I didn't catch it but I can guarantee you that it is the best fish you will ever eat"

I sit on the floor and watch the little ball of fur that is hungry and gorges itself.

After he finishes eating he drinks again and then limps up to me.

He rubs his little head against my thigh purring.

I caress him, his fur is bristly.

I think he needs a bath.

"How about washing my friend?So maybe I can see how your paw is"

I don't know how the hell is that possible but this cat almost seems to understand what I'm telling him.

He climbs on top of me and holding him close to me, I take him to the bathroom.

I place him in the sink and opening the water a little, I begin to rinse it, I soap him by washing its fur carefully.

When I finish I wrap him in a soft towel and then I dry him well using the hairdryer.

When he's completely dry I turn my attention back to his injured paw.

I grab it and he just blows in my direction.

"Sorry buddy but I have to make sure there is nothing serious"

The cat meows in response and lets me grab his paw again.

Nothing serious, it looks like a simple cut so I just disinfect his paw carefully.

Tomorrow I will take him to Shuri so that she can control him better.

I sit on the bed taking my new friend with me.

"I think I can't keep you with me" I sigh sadly.

"At the moment I can't even take care of myself"

The cat rubs itself on my legs and then climbing on them gracefully curls up on my lap.

I look at him dazed.

In a completely instinctive motion I begin to caress him, his purr is almost relaxing.

"Don't look at me like this!The last time I got involved with a pair of clear and bewitching eyes, it didn't end well for me"

"Meow"

"Yeah buddy...life sucks!"

I grab him and place him next to me.

"Now it's time to sleep.Tomorrow I'll look for a new home for you"

I think loneliness is starting to hurt me...I'm talking to a cat.

I sigh and turn off the light of the lamp on my bedside table.

I lie down crossing my ankles and bringing my arms behind my head, I close my eyes trying to relax but suddenly I feel a small grip press on my chest.

I open my eyes and furball has risen on my chest and looks me straight in the eye.

It is quite disturbing.

"What's up?"

"Meow" my little friend replies.

"Ok ok!You can stay"

The cat starts purring and curls up on me as he turns around.

"Creepy cat" I murmur watching him.

"I think I need to find you a name at this point" I murmured thoughtfully.

"How about Alpine?"

He lifts his little head by bending it to the side.

I laugh.

"Ok!Go for Alpine" and so saying I begin to caress him letting my mind wander.

Just before closing my eyes, Amaya's face comes back to haunt my thoughts.

Her eyes as green as absinthe are the last thing I imagine before slipping into a dreamless sleep.

"Make sure he eats and don't let him go out at night, he could get lost" I repeat for the tenth time.

Shuri rolls her eyes.

"White Wolf, you are worse than my mother.You are too apprehensive.Alpine and I will be fine"

I raise an eyebrow.

Ok I admit...maybe I'm a little anxious to leave my little friend.

"Shuri..."

"Oh c'mon Barnes!I promise you I'll be careful.No alcohol, no drugs and no strip clubs" Shuri murmurs, placing a hand on her heart.

I can't help it but a smile curls my lips.

T'Challa joins us passing next to his sister and leaving a caress on Alpine's little head.

"The jet is ready White Wolf"

I look my friend in the eye.

"T'Challa I will never thank you enough.Really.What you are doing for me...you know you don't have to.You, Shuri, your mother, your wife Nakia are all so kind and loving to me and I have nothing to give you in return" I admit feeling embarrassed.

For the second time these people welcomed me back to their home.

And I have nothing to offer him.

T'Challa sees the torment in my eyes.

"Listen to me my friend.You are a good man and I just want you to be okay.Don't think about anything else, you don't have to repay me for anything.If you want to make me really happy, talk to your loved one when you are in America.A love as great as yours is something rare.Pure.Don't get lost out of pride"

"I tried T'Challa but she decided for both of them.She doesn't love me anymore"

Behind us Shuri snorts.

We both turn to her.

"Barnes you understand very little about women.From what you have told me I can assure you that she loves you, she loves you very much.Only a woman in love would react with such anger and once the anger has passed she will see things more clearly" the Wakanda princess tries to reassure me.

"You are right, my sister.And you know it my friend" whispers T'Challa placing a hand on my shoulder.

I look at my friends and nod with little conviction.

Almost six months have passed and the idea that I will see Amaya in a few hours drives me crazy.

I left New York to try to forget her, to detoxify from her.

And instead I always find myself at the same point.

Wounded and in love with a woman who no longer feels anything for me.

I walk up to Shuri and look down at Alpine.

"Be a good boy my little friend" I whisper, stroking him behind the ear.

His purr fills the air, making me smile.

I look back on my friends and I embrace them both with enthusiasm.

T'Challa returns the squeeze while Shuri gasps in surprise.

I've never been the type to show affection but they have given me so much that they deserve all my respect and love.

"Thank you" I whisper, grabbing my bag and walking towards the access ramp that will take me to the jet.

I spend the hours that separate me from my arrival in New York imagining my first meeting with Amaya.

Will she be happy to see me?

Will she have forgiven me just enough to be able to tolerate my presence?

These and hundreds of other questions haunt my mind to the point of leaving me stunned and breathless.

I can't go on like this so I try to shut her out of my thoughts as best I can and focus back on the fact that I will finally see Steve again.

I'll see all my friends again.

A voice rouses me from my torpor.

"Sergeant Barnes?We're about to land" the commander's voice echoes in the jet.

"Thank you" I stammer in reply, seating myself better and fastening the seat belts.

Looking out the window I can already see Stark's tower.

I feel my stomach closing in a grip of anxiety and excitement.

Finally here we are.

The jet just has time to touch the roof of the tower that I rush out.

Everyone is waiting for me.

Almost everyone.

Steve is the first to run to meet me and in a moment I find myself crushed in his warm embrace.

The scent of him fills my nostrils.

Family scent.

"I missed you so much brother" Steve murmurs in my ear, his voice trembling with emotion.

"I missed you too" I reply continuing to hug him tightly.

As soon as we part, I am overwhelmed by other arms.

First Natasha, then Sam and then Tony and Bruce.

They are all here to welcome me back.

After moments of joy and excitement it's just me and Steve.

Together we headed to my room and now we are both sitting on the bed to get lost in a thousand chatter.

"And so tomorrow is the big day" I sigh.

"How do you feel?" I ask turning my gaze to my best friend.

"Well my friend.I feel good.Everyone asks me if I'm scared but how could I be?I'm about to marry Natasha, the woman of my life.Scared is the last thing I could be.I'm happy, excited"

I look at my friend as he speaks and the light that shines in his eyes makes me happy and hurts me at the same time.

I'm happy for him because Natasha is his soul mate and they both deserve all this love.

But at the same time I suffer because I too wanted all this for myself.

For me and for Amaya.

Steve senses my train of thought.

"How do you feel about seeing her again?"

I think about it for a few seconds.

"Oh man!I'd rather be kidnapped and tortured by HYDRA again"

We look into each other's eyes for a couple of seconds then burst out laughing loudly until with tears we collapse on the bed.

We both stare at the ceiling lost in thought.

"Everything will be fine Buck!I promise you"

"I hope so.I really hope so" I murmur in response.

I will see Amaya again shortly and I have not the faintest idea of what will happen.

How will I react to seeing her?

Will I be able to speak to her?

And above all, how will I survive when I see her next to her beloved Lucas?

At the moment I have no answers to my countless questions but of one thing I am sure...

I went to Wakanda to get better and forget her.

And I can say with complete confidence that I absolutely did not succeed.

I'm a pathetic jerk.

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