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outsideratheart · 2 years ago

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Too Much Teasing (Mapi Leon x reader)

A/N: You guys voted for the Mapi fic so here it is. I hope you like it!

Based off this request.

Life worked in mysterious ways and the past couple of years proved that. In a shock transfer you left Arsenal, your childhood club and the team that brought you up through the academy, for Barcelona.

The Spanish game came very easy to you but life off the pitch was more of a challenge. You are naturally a guarded person but there was one girl that managed to knock down your walls within the first few weeks. You and Mapi bonded over your shared love of tattoos, art and late night walks around the city.

You would see each other everyday which made being back in England for the Euros that much harder. Due the Barcelona's schedule you left for camp the morning after the Copa De La Reina final and you wouldn't be returning to Spain till August, should the tournament end with the Lionesses lifting the trophy.

But the thing about playing in Spain is that it sometimes felt like you lived two lives. For example, your England team mates had no clue you were dating the Zaragoza native. You were planning on telling them during the Arnold Cup but it was your first tournament as Captain and Mapi wanted you to focus. You were keeping the most important thing in your life from some of the most important people in your life.

You missed your girlfriend dearly and whilst you wanted nothing more than to drive to Marlow to see Mapi on your days off you know you couldn't so you settled for phone calls, more specifically late night phone calls. You walk aimlessly around the Teddington compound talking to Mapi about everything and anything. The sound of your girlfriend's voice had the power to distract you from the pressure that came with being the home favourites.

"Te quiero mucho baby"

You end the phone call and try your best to enter your room quietly as not to wake up your room mates.

"I take it i'll meet your secret girlfriend when I come to Barcelona?"

Lucy's voice makes you jump in your spot. Like every other night, you expected her to be asleep. You decide to ignore her question, choosing instead to get ready for bed but the defender continues her questioning whilst you’re in the bathroom.

"Will I meet her over dinner or at a team meeting?"

"Team meeting. Now no more questions" you warn her but she doesn't care.

"Am I going to be playing against her on Thursday?"

You freeze. Yes you were aware that England would be playing Spain in the quarter finals but what didn't register is that you are going to be playing against, and possibly beating, some of your closest friends.

"No way! You're dating Alexia!"

"What? No"

"It's just that you didn't answer"

"Because i've just realised that the next game we play will destroy mine and your team mates dreams of winning the euros"

"I thought you knew that. Isn't that the reason why you have been sad when you don't think people are watching?"

"I miss her a lot. This is longest we have been apart in a while and i'm finding it hard not being around her" You felt lighter having said out loud what you have been feeling for the last week.

You really wished that you could see Mapi before you play each other in Brighton. The fact that you wouldn't led to you being in a sour mood the next morning and it seemed to give the some of the players the perfect opportunity to make your mood worse.

"Hello grumpy, did somebody not get enough sleep?" Meado pokes your cheek as she sits down next to you.

"What can I say, Lucy snores like a pig" you know it wasn't your best work but hopefully it would change the direction of the teasing.

"No I don't!" Lucy argues "your grumpiness has nothing to do with me, it's because you miss your girlfriend"

"LUCY!" you glare at her from across the table.

"What?" the defender is no where near awake enough to realise what she has just said.

"Y/N has a girlfriend" Ella sings

"Who?"

"Is she english?"

"No she'll be Spanish"

"Is she hot?”

"Of course she is, look at Y/N" Alessia casually says.

"Lessi, you think i'm hot?" you ask the blonde knowing that she will get embarrassed.

"What, no" her response earns a scoff from you "no, I didn't mean that. I mean that you are, well you're you, we all see the way the fans obsess over you and some even flirt with you even though you don't back which I think is strange"

"It's because she has a girlfriend" Georgia turns the attention back to you.

This time instead of them asking questions they start guessing who it could be. They name the entire Spanish national team as well as the more known players in the league. Hempo is the one that guesses correctly but no way are you letting her know that.

In the end you walk away from the table, not that any of them have realised. Their attention was now on the non Spanish players playing in Spain. You make yourself another cup of coffee hoping that it will do one of two things, wake you up and ease the interrogation that you will be returning to.

"Y/N"

"What!" you snap.

When you turn around you are met with Ellen who has your phone.

"Your phone kept going off" The older forward passes you your phone. When you glance at your screen you see the name and a photo of the two of you which was taken over the Christmas period in Zaragoza.

"Mapito?" Ellen question.

"I called her it once, she changed the name of the contact" you explain.

The look on Ellen's face isn't one you recognise. It's similar to when she is happy about something but this expression has a hint of something else.

"I'm proud of you Y/N. I used the think you would never allow yourself to have a life off the pitch"

It wasn't what you were expecting her to say but you feel a warmth grow inside of you. She was right, for a long time you was solely focused on your career and everything else came second to that. Now you have someone who you will happily spend the day with and not give football a second thought whilst you are with her.

"Oh and one more thing" Ellen says "You don't have to worry about me telling them but please make sure you don't let it cloud your judgement during the game"

"Thank you Ells and you don't have to worry about that, I won't let them go back to Spain with bragging rights"

You try and think of the best place to call Mapi back, as you wander the ground you choose the garden at the front of the hotel. Butterflies flooded your tummy as you wait for her to pick up.

Mapi picks up but before she acknowledges that you have called her, you hear her shouting at Leila, then the other defender's voice comes through the phone.

"Y/N, you need to sort your girlfriend out. She is a sexually frustrated mess and only you can give her the pleasure she needs" Leila blatantly tells you.

"Yeah Y/N" your hear Pina's voice "Mapi is so in love with you that she seems to hate all of us when you're not here"

You found a tiny bit of comfort knowing that your girlfriend was subject to the same teasing you were getting.

"That's not true. She just loves me more now please give her the phone back"

You hear the sound of the line change and you know that one of them has put the phone on speaker.

"She's counting down the days until she can kiss away your sorrows when we beat you" Patri joins in.

"I admire your confidence or maybe it's your stupidity. Besides from what Mapi has told me, Jorge has been working you to the bone so it will be my pleasure to send you home so that you can all have some time off before pre season"

"I hate it when you do that"

Now you heard the voice of the woman you originally wanted to talk to.

"What's that maps?" you ask her.

"You say something mean but you do it in the nicest way possible"

"It's one of my many skills"

"I prefer your other skills"

"Mapi! There are kids around" you say referring to her younger team mates, who you happen to be close with as well.

"I'm alone now and I really wish I wasn't" you could hear the frustration in her voice.

"Maria Leon, do you always have sex on your mind?" you tease her.

"Sex, no. Sex with you, yes. Can you honestly say you don't miss me or that you don't crave my touch?"

"No, I can't. I miss you and everything that comes with you"

"We are not leaving our apartment for a week when we get home" Mapi's promise was something you looked forward to but it was also unrealistic.

"I wish that was true"

"Me too"

The line goes quiet and for a second you think she has hung up but then you hear her breathing and it worries you.

"We'll be ok after the game won't we? I know one of us will lose but it won't affect me and you will it?"

"You mean our relationship?"

Mapi hums in response.

"Of course not. I love playing football but nothing in this world means more to me than you. Is that what's got you so stressed out?" part of you knew something bigger was going on with your girlfriend. To most of the world she has this tough exterior but it couldn't have been further from the truth.

"The girls keep saying that if we beat you then you will break up with me"

"Which girls?" you asked the question even though you had your suspicions.

"Leila and —“

"I'll speak to her" you hated that the girls were teasing Mapi despite knowing how sensitive she can be "As for me breaking up with you, well the chances of that happening are lower than you beating us and that is very low"

"You know that playing against me will be harder than playing against any other team"

The cockiness in her tone was back and although you knew you could beat her, doing so would be very difficult.

"Oh yeah, why is that?"

"Because I know how you think and how you play. I know your mind and your body"

You hated thinking about the power Mapi had over. She was right when she said you knew your mind and body, at this point it practically belonged to her. Your mind was at it's calmest when she was around and your body yearned for her whenever you were away.

A short distance away you see Ella and Alessia hiding, no doubtedly eavesdropping on your call and whilst most people would end the conversation you are about to have or at least steer it in a different direction, you saw the chance to teach the young forwards a lesson.

"You do? What is my body thinking right now?"

Their eyes widen at your words but they don't move. It's as if the stare you give is causing them to be frozen in place.

You try to keep the rest of the conversation as vague as possible but Mapi makes it very difficult because for every reply you give she responds with a suggestion that makes you want to drive all the way to Marlow.

In the end Mapi gets called away which ends the call a lot sooner than you wanted but you know you are in for quite the teasing, that's if Ella and Alessia have the guts to share details of your call with the rest of the team.

"My little devils, what am I going to do with you?" you put an arm around each of their shoulders.

The three of you walk back through the hotel in silence. It is clear the younger girls don't feel comfortable discussing what they heard on the phone. That is until you reach the breakfast room where some of the players are still lounging about.

"Y/N was having phone sex with her girlfriend" Tooney shouts.

"Ella!" Me and Alessia say in unison.

It wasn't that you didn't expect her to say anything, it’s more so the fact that she announced it to the whole room as soon as she entered.

"And you did it in front of the kids?" Jill jokes.

Jill then proceeds to console a scared Ella but you couldn't care less.

"The kids happened to be eavesdropping and I was enjoying my phone call way to much to stop on their behalf"

Some of the younger players fake gagged at the thought but the older players knew you wouldn't have said anything that bad given that you had kept your relationship a secret, so your sex life wouldn't be any different.

"Give me three clues" Leah asks when you take at a seat at her table, which also sat Lucy, Keira, Georgia, Millie and Rachel.

You expected better from your co captain but you knew the clues you would give and your friends would hate them.

"Fine" you reply much to the table's surprise "3 clues. She's from Spain, she speaks Spanish and she plays for Barcelona"

The first two are obvious but the third clue let’s them narrow down their list of names.

"Did you really have phone sex knowing they could hear you?" Millie asks.

"God no. Do you really think I'm going to have that kind of conversation in public where everyone can hear me and where I can do nothing to satisfy the urges that come with it?"

"Y/N!"

"Just saying"

When the team arrive at the stadium a few days later, they watch you and wait to see if you will give away the identity of your Spanish girlfriend. You on the other hand start to get nervous about what this game means and what it will take in order to reach the semi finals. You would have to outplay the people who you, for the most part, train with every day.

You wanted nothing more than to skip right through the pitch inspection. Since finding out you were dating a Barcelona player, the team have been teasing you relentlessly and you didn't have the energy to go toe to toe with them today. When you walk out onto the pitch you see that the Spain team are already there and when you see a certain defender you remember that you need to talk to her. The team watch as you and the Spanish national walk away and you can hear them shouting things but given the eyes around them the don't say that much.

"Y/N" Leila wraps her arms around you "I've missed you chica"

The conversation you had with Mapi kept replaying in your head. The seeds of doubt that her friends had planted began growing and you couldn’t doing anything to stop them, not right now anyways.

"Leila"

"Am I in trouble?" you nod your head "Why?"

"Do you know why Mapi is worried i'll break up with her?" from where you stand you can see your girlfriend bent down at the centre circle doing her own inspection, something that is part of her pre match routine.

"It was a joke which now that I see your face I realise isn't funny"

"She is one of your best friends, you know how sensitive she is. Just think before you say things that will stick in her head. Now we're going to see her so that you can apologise"

"You just want me to come with you so that your team doesn't get suspicious"

There’s no need for you to respond, she is right and she knows it.

"Hi"

Mapi's head snaps up at the sound of your voice.

"Hola bonita" she stands up and gives you a hug, one that doesn't last no where near as long as she wanted.

No words are exchanged, both of you break out in a smile, just being within touching distance is enough for now.

"Is this my punishment? Being made to stand here whilst you eye fuck each other?" Leila groans. She is used to be the third wheel in Barcelona having joined you and Mapi on date night more than a few times but the tension between the two of you makes her feel a little uncomfortable.

"Punishment?" Mapi looks to see you with a smug grin plastered across your face.

"Right, yes. Leila is there something you would like to say?"

"I'm sorry for saying Y/N would break up with you when we destroy the lionesses"

"Destroy?" you laugh slightly at the defender's optimism.

"You know I love your confident side but Leila's right, we will go back to Spain victorious"

"I know don't what's worse, the fact you think you're going to win or that you just said Leila's right"

Leila asks if you'll walk back with her stating that she had something she wanted to talk to you about. The conversation ended with you walking back into the tunnel with your arms wrapped around her shoulder whilst your hand rested on her waist.

Your team mates takes you spending most of the time with the brunette as confirmation, they are determined that you are dating Leila Ouahabi. In the locker room you got question after question about how your relationship starting and it didn't both you in the slightest, how could it, they had the wrong person. Once you re entered the locker room after warm up the teasing stopped and the game faces appeared.

The match ended with England going through to the semi final but you couldn't bring yourself to celebrate. This would go down as the worst win in your career but being the captain came with duties that you couldn't get out of. You thanked the fans and did your interview but neither of those could keep your focus because no matter where you were on the pitch you could see your friends in red consoling each other.

"Aren't you going to console your girlfriend?" Lucy asks.

"You know what, yes I am" you had watched from a distance for long enough.

Lucy who had been joined by Keira watches are you walk towards the group of Barcelona players. Like Lucy expected you went to Leila first but for you it was because she was the closest person to you, funnily enough Mapi is the last person. You had seen her wear a brave face for the sake of her team mates but it is only when she is in your arms does she drop the facade.

"I'm sorry" you subtly kiss her neck.

The embrace between you is different than the one you shared with your other team mates. When you lift you head up you see Lucy watching with shocked expression. When you unclasp your hands that are settled on the small of Mapi's back, you send Lucy the middle finger. The action let's her know that she was wrong and in doing so you tell her who you're dating.

"What's that about?" Keira asks.

"You'll find out when you join me in Barcelona"

"Shhh" Keira shoves her girlfriend "I told you it was a secret"

You stay out on the pitch as long as the Spain team does. You have no intention of celebrating the win and you hoped the fans and your team would understand this. When the stadium starts to empty, the players leave the pitch.

"Do you they know about us?" Mapi asks as she walks in sync beside you.

"Ellen does but the rest think I'm dating Leila"

This causes Mapi to stop in her tracks. Her eyes go wide in shock and she finds herself getting angry. She didn't like the act the world didn't know you were hers but your team mates thinking that you were with Leila, that she really didn't like.

"I'm not ok with that"

At this point you are practically in the tunnel so you grab her hand and pull her into one of the treatment rooms. You were grateful for the privacy it gave you and under any other circumstance you would be up for having a little bit of fun but you can tell by Mapi's face that she is very serious about this.

If her face didn't give it away, her choosing to pace the small room instead of sitting with you on the physio bench with you did.

"You're my girlfriend, not Leila's, and I don't want your team thinking you are dating my best friend"

To see Mapi care this much about people, who to her are strangers, is a rarity. You didn't care much for other people's opinions so whether the team knew or not, didn't matter. This was something you thought Mapi agreed with you on but her reaction tells you otherwise.

"Mapi" you voice is soft as you try to get her attention.

"I know that it's me who chose not the tell them at the beginning of the year but that was a mistake. They should know that you are mine and not hers"

Now she is getting territorial, a side which rarely ended well in the past. Mapi didn't like to share but this isn't sharing, your team don't even think of Mapi when they think of your relationship which makes it worse.

"Maria" you hope using her birth name will make her stop but it doesn't.

"Y/N I love you and I don't want them thinking you love Leila. You love me"

"Yes, I do"

Fatigue was beginning to set in. After playing 120 minutes of football your legs were getting heavy and given that Mapi had the job of keeping up with you for the game, you knew she would be feeling the same yet she continues to pace back and worth as she worked through her frustrations.

"Do they think Leila makes you happy? That she can love you the way I do? Make you feel the way I do? That—"

"Maria Pilar Leon Cebrian"

"Yes" she stops pacing when she is in line with you.

Using your index finger you signal her to come close to you. Her face changes and you know it's because she has finally noticed you are in a room together, alone. When she is close enough you take a fistful of her shirt to close the remaining distance between the two of you. Mapi’s hand cups the back of your neck as your lips crash into each other. The time you spend away from each other never get’s easier and it makes the reunions that much more intense. Nothing else matters in that moment other than to rid Mapi of the insecurities she is clearly feeling. When you pull away it is only for a second to catch your breath and then you are leaning back in, hungry for more and by the way Mapi mouth moves in sync with yours she obviously misses the connection you shared just as much as you did.

You are so caught up in the moment that you don’t hear the door open, nor you do you hear the voices that belonged to your team mates. At first they say nothing, they simply stand there and watch the two of you. They didn’t know what to do, they didn’t want to move in case they made a noise and it was clear that the two of you didn’t plan on stopping any time soon.

It is only when you start to lift Mapi’s t-shirt do they make themselves known.

“Sorry to interrupt but this is the treatment room and some of the others are on their way here” Chloe gives you a heads up.

What they didn’t see is that you already have your shirt off and Mapi being mapi, she didn’t bother putting hers on fully, instead it stays hung around her neck.

Just then another door open, one that you didn’t even notice was there and given the commotion that you can hear on the other side let’s you know it connects to the lionesses locker room. Your suspicions are proven true when you see Ella and Georgia, their eyes widen at the sight in front of them, you half dressed and Mapi not that much better

“Hempo!” Georgia shouts “You were right. Y/N’s secret girlfriend is Mapi Leon”

Mapi still stands in between your legs and shows no sign of moving. You rest your head against her chest hoping that if the two of you stay still and quiet then the team will leave you alone but that doesn’t happen.

“How do you know?” Beth comes into the small treatment room followed by a couple more of your team mates.

You thought the teasing was bad before but now they know the identity of your girlfriend they have a lot more material to use against you. Something that is surprising is that a few of them tease Mapi even though they haven’t really met her other than on the pitch.

You tap Mapi’s sides indicating her to move away so you can stand up and put your shirt back on and help her with hers. You quickly peck her on the lips before taking her hand and dragging her into the Lionesses locker room. If you introduced her properly then maybe the night back at the hotel won’t be complete torture.

“Mapi meet the lionesses, girls meet Mapi my girlfriend”

You can see the grin that spreads across Mapi’s face upon hearing you officially introduce her as your partner. She had been waiting for this for months and you had too.

“Wait” Rachael interrupts the questions that the girls have “I thought you were dating Leila Ouahabi, their number 15”

“No, she is not’ Mapi corrects her rather abruptly “She is my girlfriend”

You had just managed to settle down her territorial side and now, without knowing, Rachael had woken it back up.

“But Y/N spent all her time pre match with her, not you” Millie joined in and by the smirk of her face you know that she, for some reason, felt confident enough to tease the spaniard.

Mapi is ready to fight for you even though it is unnecessary and you really didn’t want her going back into her changing in a foul mood given that most her team will be feeling rough because of the final score.

“You sure you want to tease her millie?” You know Mapi wouldn’t hurt a fly but there is a reason why she got ‘looks can be deceiving’ on her neck.

Mapi picks up on the game you are playing and she changes her face. Safe to say Millie steps back without saying another word.

You lead Mapi out of the changing room but one of your team mates can’t help themselves. They had to tease your girlfriend on last time.

“Sorry we beat you and sent you back to Spain” Alessia says confidently.

Mapi knew she was one of the players you had taken under your wing but she can’t let the young forward get away with it.

“It’s ok. We’ll beat you in the champions league. Oh, wait, no we won’t. You didn’t qualify”

At the mention of United Ella stands up ready to defend her club and after the game you had just played you really didn’t have the energy to play mediator between your girlfriend and the devils.

You push Mapi out the door but pull her back for one more kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow for breakfast before you go back to Barcelona”

Mapi deepens the kiss and you don’t have the will power you push her away, not at first anyways. It is only when you hear a mixture of wolf whistles and fake gagging do you end the kiss.

“I’ll see you in the morning. Te quiero Y/N”

“Yo también te quiero”

Upon re-entering your locker room you see all eyes on you. Let the teasing begin, again.

#woso x reader #woso one shot #woso imagine #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon imagine #mapi leon one shot #barcelona femeni x reader #Barcelona femeni imagine #barcelona femeni one shot #espwnt x reader #espwnt one shot #espwnt imagine

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silenzahra · 4 months ago

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Once again: thank you 💖

I've been having a few hard days this week, both with my job being so stressing and tiring, and still trying to slowly process the loss of my old blog despite having already started to work on building this one. As well as, well... experiencing a terrible burnout that won't let me enjoy my biggest passions just yet (reading and writing).

And then... there you all go again. Making me feel loved and supported with the two posts I've fixed so far. Not only many of you were so kind as to reblog again my adored Luigi the Bookworm post after I fixed it, but also have showered my beloved Luaisy story in love and compliments, and many of you even re-read it! Like... what? Am I really deserving of such honor? 🥹

I don't wanna mention you all so as not to be bothering you with "thank you" posts all the time, so if you've supported my Luaisy fanfic in any way, consider yourselves included here! But... I just had to express all my gratitude towards each and every one of you, because, truly, this story means everything to me. I love the Mario Brothers and their beautiful and platonic bond, and I adore other couples such as Mareach and Luisley (I mean, who doesn't?).

But Luaisy... Luaisy owns my heart entirely. I can't even start to explain what this couple means to me, what it makes me feel to see them together in any lovely piece of art, or read about them in any amazing fanfic, or writing about them myself. I mean, I could, but then I wouldn't be able to stop 🤭 Just know that I love both reading and writing about them even if right now I'm unable to do either.

So this is a big THANK YOU to each of you for supporting Green, Orange and a bit of Purple despite being a story that's a few months old 💖

You guys really make me feel so good 🥰🫂💖

Also, just so you know, I'll be gone till tomorrow, so I'll still take some time to check my tags, messages and such. This weekend I'd like to bring back both my beloved musicians headcanons and my post of Luigi serenading Daisy, as well as answering my pending asks. And I can't forget about my side blog for the translations of the songs that are important for Luigi and Daisy in my lore!

We'll see if I can get to everything, I don't wanna pressure myself so as not to increase the burnout I'm going through 😅 Please bear with me if I haven't answered you yet, I'm trying to be more present IRL so as to feel better soon and, hopefully, be entirely recovered as soon as possible! 🤞

Still, I'm totally fine with you tagging me in your stuff, though please remember that right now I don't feel like reading. Sorry 😅 (This only means that I'll take long to get to your stuff.)

Anyways, and aside from my plans and such, what I mean with this post is: thank you. You all make me so happy 💖💖💖

#yet another thank you post #I just had to #you guys are just so sweet!#I deeply appreciate your support #💖💖💖#zahra's writing #Luigi the Bookworm #super mario #super mario headcanons #green orange and a bit of purple #Luaisy #luaisy fanfic #luaisy story #luigi x daisy #super mario fanfic #silenzahra

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coconutcordiale · 2 years ago

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17 q's

thank you sm @double-j @heartsofminds @mothdruid @mandylove1000 for tagging me ily all this was fun!

nickname; mae (it's my middle name)

sign; virgo

height; i literally thought i was 5'2 my entire adult life and then went to my flight physical a few months ago to have the nurse tell me i was 5'4 so let's go with 5'3

last thing i googled; 'hurt locker cereal scene' because it's not enough that i watched the movie last night i now have to watch that scene 10 times so i can write a stupid long fic inspired by it (don't come for me, i know i have other stuff to finish. but for real that scene is brilliant)

song stuck in head; summer in new york- sofi tukker

number of followers; 1044 (i love you guys tysm for following me even though i'm unhinged)

amount of sleep; 6 hours which is low for me i'm a 9 hour kinda gal but i stayed up late watching hell or high water (that movie is so good how i have i not seen it before - my dads been telling me to watch it since it came out i really should listen to him more)

lucky number; i really like the number 39. and 19. no idea why. so my lucky number is probably 9?

dream job; writer (yes i know i'm in flight school don't talk to me it's for the $$ and to only work 3 days a week)

wearing; ptula leggings, aerie sports bra, socks with wine glasses on them (????), tcu sweatshirt

movie/book that summarizes you; oh man this is a loaded question. am i allowed to say new girl? i don't have roommates anymore but the whole running theme of trying to figure yourself out, you and all your friends being too old to act the way you do (ex: my friends are getting a bounce house for their nye party), having to grow up but not really wanting to while simultaneously feeling very old. i'm at the age where most acquaintances have started getting married and having kids but the people in my core group are not there yet (and may never be). a lot of that show hits home

favorite song; SO MANY so i have to give you a few, ones that have stuck with me through the years that always hit no matter what mood i'm in

future people- alabama shakes

arabella- arctic monkeys

late night- odesza

favorite instrument; the cello. no rhyme or reason. i just love it i think it's hauntingly beautiful (see above about new girl summarizing me: i'm nick miller with good hygiene)

aesthetic; very 70s / 80s (but think like, everybody wants some 80s not hairband 80s). i love bright, bold, lots of color, maximalist style. modern farmhouse makes me shake with anger

favorite author; oooooh boy. i'm weird about claiming specific authors because people love to disappoint you so lets go with favorite books

the book of salt- monique truong

a visit from the goon squad- jennifer egan

welcome to my country- lauren slater

confessions of a sociopath- m.e. thomas

i'm also in the middle of devotion- adam makos & flights- olga tokarczuk right now and they're both fantastic

fun fact- i learned how to make latte art years ago??? i'm pretty sure i could deadlift glen powell?? i've been to every us state except 2? i have no idea what i'm doing with my life? do these qualify, idk

no pressure tags- @currentlybradshaw @thewrittennerd @sweetlittlegingy @marsontoast @justfandomwritings @stickxjockey @forever-sleepy-sloth @gigisimsonmars @oncasette

#can i just answer the questions without some sort of commentary? No but thanks for asking #tag games

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casualtydept · 1 year ago

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venting about art block i suppose

gotta be honest i'm at a really awful impasse with my art and even my writing to some extent lately and i may as well put it out there because i've been trying to figure out how to explain it for weeks

it's not even that i find what i make Bad or i'm overly dissatisfied with it more than the usual healthy(?) amount but i feel this infuriating disconnect that i can only really blame on myself

despite having phases where i just didn't draw for months on end i've somehow ended up being aggressively hard on myself, pressuring myself to have to post at least one full completed artwork per month, forcing myself to churn something out just because i hate going a while without posting anything

and it sucks because It Is So Stupid. i feel guilty for doing literally any other hobby for an extended period of time because then it means there's no art. my moods go up and down every month leaving me rushing to try and get something done in the 1 or 2 weeks of Feeling Alive i get, because i know i'll just spend the rest of the month too tired and too unmotivated to even try.

it's only really become an issue since last year, when i started doing art again this frequently and got brave enough to even start posting my art of you know who. and it's evidently kind of spiralled from there since it stopped being just something i did for myself and became something to show others. and then i accidentally became known to strangers as that one person obsessed with that character nobody likes and now i feel like i have something to prove and a void of content that nobody else is ever really going to fill so i may as well be the one to do it

i'm bad at fandoms. i cannot talk to people. but i can make things with a little bit of me in them and share them with other people who like the same weird fictional guy as me and it makes me feel like i'm connecting. and it works and it feels good but then i run out of ideas or motivation and it gets lonely again

and now i've become so hyper aware of this fact every time an idea comes into my head i have to try and figure out if i want to draw that for me or if i only want to draw it to post it on the internet. and then i just give up because i don't know the answer and now i think i'm just guilting myself into not drawing at all just in case i'm doing it for the wrong reasons

so idk. i'm trying. everything i try just ends up with me feeling like i'm going through the motions even if i do find enough inspiration to start. i might be brave enough to post art for zero's birthday if i can stop hating it before then. but if not i will just be here in my stinky brain hole playing pikmin and whatever else until i can feel a little bit human again

#not art #words #sorry it's long you know i talk a lot

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cwarscars · 2 years ago

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*taps mic* hi hello good night! I'm here to talk about Magnar Valerio Heidegger because of course that is his canon name and I don't care what SE has to say about it. :) No, but really - I know I've said this in the past but Heid is an emotional muse for me and I'll do this again.

I don't think I was prepared for how much you made me care for him - it's fair that the remake made him more than a lil pixel in a green coat and thick beard, but I had no feelings or thoughts for Heid until I met you. I remember being a weird choice of a muse - Reeve and Scarlet (even Hojo with the yucky factor) were such popular directors, why would someone pick Heidegger?

All I can say is that I'm glad you did it because HOLY FUCK. I remember reading through this incredibly long and detailed bio and just... Fully seeing Heidegger as a fully-fleshed character. The abuse at the hands of the father he failed to recognize as such; the intense pressure to succeed and to please him nonetheless; the marriage that ended in heartbreak with two daughters he didn't spend nearly enough time with; the worship of Shinra Sr.; his views on world politics and how he so clearly sees himself as a man with the guts to do what needs to be done to achieve results.

With your writing, I just went from someone who largely ignored him to someone who frankly adores the character. There is just so MUCH room for growth, complicated themes to work with and you just turned him into this layered, complex asshole I love? That Melissa would definitely marry no matter the verse? I just cannot get enough of how much history you've given him, how plausible it all sounds and the fact that you write a villain we can relate/understand his reasoning without ever woobifying him.

You are THE Heidegger writer to me and I'm forever amazed and wowed by your headcanons and super well detailed posts. It all tracks to the OG or the remake in some way and it's just so good I forget it's not canon. Or fuck that - you're better than canon. PLUS Heidegger gave me you and 3 years later (3 years??? omg) we're here and having fun and I will never not love the husbando for it.

You're amazing and your Heidegger is a work of art. *mic drop*

hey…how’s my portrayal? ♡

(( MARI. WHAT THE FUCK ----

i legit saw the start of this and thought 'ooohhhh, a nice tasty lil ask for heidegger & mel to have sexy times in' AND THEN I KEPT READING AND I WAS LIKE 'WAIT A SECOND'. you know something, i'm not much of an emotional bear - i think we both know this because i have n e r v e s of s t e e l but...this got my eyes damp? like, what the hell???

i feel emotional reading this, it's like how i mentioned to light; it feels good to have been given the platform and supported by you guys in writing heid. like, i feel as though these headcanons and storylines and stuff come out because of you guys. i sometimes feel so embarrassed by my love of this guy because he isn't cloud or sephiroth or even one of the lesser but still popular characters (ala rufus or tseng). like, who the hell would like heidegger? haha. well, me apparently :P

but it feels great because i get this support and this validation by people like yourself. you just DIVEBOMB into my inbox with this absolute love letter of goodness and it honestly has me feeling so warm and fuzzy. ive been so down these last few weeks just due to various bits and pieces and you know, when you reach a stage where you can't even cry* because you feel so shit? well, now i'm sat here with lil happy tears beading in the corners of my eyes - like, bruh- you did that, i love you for it.

of course - i can't just fawn on how much i love you and how sweet you are, mari. because our friendship is special and i'm so forever grateful to have started to write with you that one day and i'm so glad that everything from there has happened and we've always stayed in touch but like -

melissa. you KNOW i wouldn't have half the characterisation of heid if it wasn't for her. that initial meeting - the INITIAL plots we had with the blackmail and stuff before these two coconuts fell in love. their son and retirement to costa del sol. remember the bitchy neighbour that mel HATED? edlyn and dwayna befriending mel and mel restoring their relationship with their father? all of the smut and all of the wonderful things we've written together? mari, you're such a special writing partner to have. you're one in a million. your girl is the best and i (and my lil collection of men) will forever love her. i don't even need to tell you how much i adore your writing because you know i could read a novel of your works. please write mel into a book, i NEED

my final thing i wanna say is just -

suns out, guns out - i love them and i love you ♡♡♡♡

#(answered)#myfave art right there <3 #(ooc)#(foreversave)#im just so blown away by this #you're an angel yknow #i JUST KEEP RE-READING IT

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honored-by-my-lateness · 14 days ago

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Bonita laughed a little, and to take some of the seriousness out of what she just said, she made her tone lighter. More manageable. "Yeah, plural. I can go over them with you later if you want." She heard his question and was surprised he'd even thought to consider it. She was honestly kind of touched and that was a weird feeling to be having while also deeply horny. "Um, -I- yeah. Before Joce and I got together -before we confessed- I was trying to ignore that I was in love with my best friend." Don't stop and think about it, Bonita. Just get through the facts of the story. "And there was a guy in one of my classes that asked me out, so I went out with him and we had sex. Joce and I got together a couple of weeks later though." She paused, biting her lip. "We've used, like, toys and stuff though. So I'm not completely unprepared." God, she was a fucking mess. How could he actually wanna have sex with her still?

Kendall grinned at the idea of having paragraphs worth of writing devoted to how attractive he was, unlikely as he found the assertion. His face turned a little more serious, more focused, as Bonita told him that essentially some of the pressure was off him… not that it wouldn't have been if there was more pressure on him… he needed to stop overthinking before it killed his boner. Nodding, he unzipped and pulled off his jeans, his dick making an almost comical tent of his briefs. "If you don't want to look at this part I won't be offended. My dick's not really a work of art."

#shehasinkstainedfingers #001

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riceball1759 · 2 months ago

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Personal Library TBR *Shelves*

I love having my own personal library -FINALLY!!! After almost 2 decades of keeping my "library" in the sturdiest boxes I could find (including shoe boxes for my mass-market size guys and manga), moving 3 TIMES, and dreaming about my glass cabinet library, we found the perfect bookcases -in the perfect color- and finally started to make my "book nook" dreams reality. Seriously, it was hard to say goodbye to that og-Chegg box...best box I could ask for to hold my pristine hardcovers.

I never actually posted the finished product -well, 80%ish done- mostly because I wanted it to be "perfect". Nothing really changed in the visual dept except I bought some more books lol. Really hoped I could have a proper seating arrangement by now, but that hasn't worked out both with money and the practical-vs-wishful. What I want is too expensive and too big. Instead, we ended up partially finishing 2 other 'quadrants' of the basement: we have an air hockey table and a 'gaming quarter' where the Nintendo systems, board games, and whatnot have their home. All we need is a small coffee table and some additional wall art/hangings. My Tohru Honda and Grimmjow wall scrolls are perfectly displayed where all can admire them^_^ Hubby's bar will be the remaining quadrant (he can't wait, but he has to). I'LL POST PICTURES SOON!!!

Now, to the reason for the title of this post... I think I'm fairly unique in my organizational methods due to the fact that I actually have shelves dedicated to books I haven't read that I probably will not keep. This includes titles that I have either been given, got as giveaways, purchased, and brought home from my library (my job) because I weeded my collection -we can talk about that at a later time or you can look it up. Not getting into the particulars of my personal collection's "weeding policy", it's safe to say that I know I need to read what I have in order to not expand the not-here-to-stay shelves. Thus, I have dubbed them the TBR Shelves. How many do I have? There are 3 dedicated shelves that only consist of what I haven't read: 2 YA and one Harlequin LIH (double-stacked). The rest of the shelves have a mixture, but they're genre-fied and 'author-betized' and they're perfect the way they are...mostly, but that's not today's problem.

Problem: I'm having a bit of a crisis in my reading preferences lately and I need to force myself to read what I've been ignoring so I can stop feeling that poking feeling every time I go down to find my favorite thing to re-read again. See my problem? Not yet? I've been very stressed and that leads me to re-reading. I'm also coming to terms with the changing YA market and I need to start reading what's coming out now so I can honestly tell my kids, "yes, I've read that!" instead of, "I started it, but didn't get around to finishing it...><". This habit of reading maybe 5 chapters of a new book and then moving on to the next is truly the worst. It's horrible. I need to stop and that's what I'm working on right now.

Solution: Honesty. I started talking to my kids about it because I can't just keep saying, "Well I can't read everything". They're at least as blunt as I am about it and I need that. Trying to come up with a way to get them involved with what I'm currently reading without giving them access to my Goodreads (because minors) and maybe even giving them control of my next read... that makes me cringe every time I think about it. Anyway, my goal is to read a mixture of new and fairly recent YA within my other reading habits. My additional goal is to make a significant dent in the unread LIH shelf. It became a back-burner TBR since they stopped publication of the imprint and I didn't have as much pressure to read through them. More recently, it's gotten annoying to the point I'm almost reading 3 a week (if I don't pause). Only just started, but I already finished 6 lol. It takes 3-4 hours to read through one -easy, right? Consistency is key, so my best is all I can offer.

Currently reading: The Dark Becomes Her by Judy L. Lin. Really liking it so far and I hope I'll be done by the weekend so I can post the review to NetGalley and Edelweiss. It comes out Oct 1st and I want to be able to be that Teen Librarian and boast my opinion of it fully -mwuahahaha.

Thank you for reading!

What are you reading? [OR] What are your goals for the rest of the year?

#booklr #book blog #books #books and reading #tbr #tbr list #reading #tbr pile

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enigmaticexplorer · 6 months ago

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A lot of intense feelings happening in this chapter. And none of them are good!

I'm not blaming Daria...I try really hard to not blame Daria in this fic, because I can't imagine what it would be like for her.

Haha I feel this. The first two Parts of this story make Daria a strong antagonist. And that's intentional. This is all in Kazi's POV and we're seeing everything through your world view, so Daria had to be presented as antagonistic because that's how Kazi feels about her. It's only when Kazi starts to open herself to her sister again that we get to other sides to Daria :)

I am very intrigued by whatever is happening with her and Cody.

Same 😌

I'm not sure what his motive is yet, but it fascinates me.

Fox is a fun guy. He's so full of contradictions: he wants to earn Neyti's trust just like his brothers but he keeps her at arm's length; he wants to settle down but he won't commit if his brothers don't; he sees Kazi as a means to an end but he's also starting to like her (in a platonic way) and it scares him. Anyway, Fox's Muse recently posted and I hope that sheds some light on his motivations and actions :)

Honestly, Cody is the only one of this group of clones who really has a pretty good handle on interpersonal relationships, which of course is not surprising.

I imagine at night, when the others have gone to bed, that Cody forces Wolffe and Fox to sit at the basement table while he criticizes all of their behaviors/actions around the women/kid. He's so done with his brothers' inability to create peace 😂

But I've been thinking about it a lot since that art came back on my radar yesterday. Your fic was the first thing I thought of when I saw it.

I love seeing how people picture characters, so both art pieces were a lovely insight! I've actually seen that Fox artwork before and I LOVE it. It's a fav of mine.

I felt a pain my chest, because I felt so bad for Fox. He didn't mean any harm, he's just not good with this stuff.

What I love about this moment between Kazi and Fox is that it's the first time Fox sees just how protective Kazi is of Daria and Neyti. We learned in Cody's Muse that the men were aware of the tension between Kazi and Daria. And Kazi has kept her distance and made it clear that she's unhappy--to the point that her disgruntlement can be taken as aloofness towards Daria and possibly Neyti. This moment--her snapping at Fox after he made a comment about her sister and her kid--is the first time Fox sees that protective side in Kazi. And it makes him realize the similarity between her and Wolffe. I know you've read ahead so I'll mention Chapter 17: We learn that Fox is constantly trying to figure Kazi out. The way that Kazi was forming a character study of Wolffe, Fox was doing the same for her. She's a means to an end for him (as we'll learn much later in both his Muse and Part IV of this fic) and so this moment sheds some light on her character and provides new intel for him to analyze.

There is no way I could have brought up the intel with Wolffe. But Kazi sure did!

It's something I love about Kazi and Wolffe--their inability to let something go. This argument has been long in the making, and it wouldn't have mattered if it happened that night or a different week, they would've exploded on one another. They were both harboring so many mistrustful opinions against the other and they needed to let it all out. Both Kazi and Wolffe tend to internalize their emotions which obviously leads to intense bottling (not healthy lol). They're control freaks who think emotions can be restrained and they're not prepared for when the pressure heats too much. Explosion is always inevitable. And neither of them held back! I've written them so similar because, as much as I love the opposites trope, I find it more realistic when people are together because they're similar. And boy, are Kazi and Wolffe similar in a lot of ways. They just refuse to acknowledge it at the moment haha.

Thank you so much for these comments! I love reading through them!

I Yearn, and so I Fear - Chapter V

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

General Summary. Nearly a year since the Galactic Empire’s rise to power, Kazi Ennari is trying to survive. But her routine is interrupted—and life upended—when she’s forced to cohabitate with former Imperial soldiers. Clone soldiers.

Pairing. Commander Wolffe x female!OC

General Warnings. Canon-typical violence and assault, familial struggles, terminal disease, bigotry, explicit sexual content, death. This story deals with heavy content. If you’re easily triggered, please do not read. For a more comprehensive list of tags, click here.

Fic Rating. E (explicit)/18+/Minors DNI.

Chapter Word Count. 4.6K

Beta. @starstofillmydream

3 Helona

“These symptoms are extreme for this stage of her illness,” Healer Natasha said.

Kazi didn’t respond as she studied her sister.

Asleep, Daria looked fragile. Easily breakable. Like the glass dolls common in Reformist households on Ceaia. The dolls with unblinking eyes, perfectly plain skin, and rosy lips.

Sweat glistened on Daria’s forehead. Her breathing was shallow yet slowing, courtesy of the anesthetic med-spike Kazi stabbed her with an hour ago.

The fear in her sister’s eyes—the sheer terror—when Kazi pinned her to the ground was imprinted in her mind.

It happened so fast.

Kazi had only just returned from work. Exhausted, she visited Neyti’s empty room to place a new stuffed animal—a space whale—on the pillows. On her way back, she caught sight of Daria in her room, staring at a wall, rocking slightly.

“Daria?” Kazi asked hesitantly.

Daria flinched. “Where are we?” she whispered. “Why am I here?”

The fear in her sister’s voice moored Kazi to the floor. She was so tired—mentally and physically worn to the bones—that she could only stare at her sister. Confused. Uncomprehending. She took one step forward but Daria collapsed to the floor. Her hands flattened against her ears. Her body curved into a ball. She panted for air.

It was the sound of her panicked breaths that snapped Kazi into action. She snatched the med-spike from the hallway closet. The medicine had sat there, unused, for months.

She had never expected to use it.

And she hadn’t expected Daria to start crying, begging, her not to hurt her.

Scared and unnerved, Kazi stabbed Daria with the med-spike. Her sister fell limp beneath her.

The only good thing about the situation: Neyti was downstairs sketching, and Commander Fox and trooper Nova were gone, so no one witnessed the ordeal.

“I thought you said her medicine was supposed to prevent these symptoms.” Kazi faced Healer Natasha, folding her arms across her chest.

After endless appointments with Ceaian healers unwilling to treat Daria, Kazi was relieved to meet Healer Natasha.

A decade older, Healer Natasha was quick to diagnose Daria, create a treatment plan, and enforce necessary care all within two weeks. The healer was dedicated to Daria’s treatment. Determined to ease her suffering and preserve the stability of her mind for as long as possible. Her kindly personality and patient attentiveness made her respectable and trustworthy.

However, months ago, Healer Natasha claimed a morning and nightly potion would curb Daria’s symptoms. That severe episodes of forgetfulness and panic were improbable the first fifteen months of the disease’s three-year timeframe.

The disease wasn’t supposed to progress for another eight months.

“The potions should be working.” Healer Natasha studied Daria’s pulse and scribbled a note onto her datapad. “Their efficacy is tested and proven. There must be something interfering…”

Kazi swallowed a bite of fear. “How much time do you think she has?”

“Possibly a year.” Kazi blanched and Healer Natasha offered her a sympathetic look. “I’m sorry. I can ease the symptoms as much as possible until the next stage.”

“The next stage is—”

“Loss of memory. I advise moving her to the medical center for 24-hour care.”

“You said Stage Two won’t happen until Telona of next year. At the earliest.” Her heart was beating far too fast, and she swallowed, forcing her breaths to calm. “You said she had at least two years to live from Telona. She’s only been sick for seven months.”

“Daria’s disease is an anomaly, and one we have little information to study,” the healer said gently. “The disease has few similarities across patients and we still don’t know the cause or if it’s curable. I am operating based on what I have researched, but much is left to the unknown.”

Kazi knew all of this—they had talked about it before. But it didn’t make acceptance easier.

Seven months ago, she was working in Ceaia’s capital when she received a comm message from home. Nearly eight years had passed without word from her mother, and she had rarely spoken to Daria in that time. So the comm message shocked her. She didn’t know what to expect.

That night, she quit her job, packed her belongings, and bought a one-way ticket back home.

The local healer didn’t know how to treat Daria and the few droids available were just as useless. Kazi threw herself into researching Daria’s symptoms, cross-referencing potential illnesses, contacting various healers across the planet and then expanding her search to neighboring systems. She argued her way into consultations with the most renowned healers.

All of those hours researching, all of those days she spent trying to find a solution, were ultimately futile. The last healer they saw on Ceaia claimed the disease was a progressive destruction of memory and mental functions. There was no cure.

In private, the healer had advised Kazi to stop wasting her time and monetary resources on her sister. To instead enroll Daria in a 24-hour hospice center. The pity on his face at her immediate refusal still rankled her.

Through it all—the dozens of consultations and various healers—Daria became more withdrawn. Reclusive and quiet. Kazi assumed it was a combination of shock and grief.

Their mother was no help. Daria was her pride, and her hope for the future, and Daria’s inability to marry into society left her depressed.

Her hopelessness didn’t matter much since she passed away a few months later. From heart failure. It wasn’t a shock considering she was in her early seventies. She didn’t have Kazi and Daria until her early forties, as Traditionalist and Reformist culture encouraged, and the combined stress of Kazi leaving home at eighteen and the onslaught of Daria’s disease was too much for her to handle.

Kazi thought their mother’s death would upset Daria. To her surprise, her sister became less morose and reclusive.

“I don’t have much time,” Daria said one day, her smile forcibly brave, “and I won’t waste it moping.”

Healer Natasha placed a hand on Kazi’s shoulder, her fingers dark brown and scarred. “You should prepare yourself for the possibility that Daria’s illness is progressing at a faster rate.”

“I understand.” Kazi observed Daria’s pallid features. “Thank you for coming by tonight. I know it’s not in your contract—”

“Daria is my only patient. I’m here for her.” Kazi nodded her gratitude while the healer packed her bag. Once her instruments were sequestered away, Healer Natasha straightened, a frown marring her features. “A question, Ms. Lucien: has Daria encountered anything at home that could have increased her stress levels in the past months?”

The last three months zipped through Kazi’s memories, like a holofilm fast-forwarded. The clones’ arrival was the sole anomaly. But had built a rapport with Commanders Cody and Fox, and on some occasions, she even cooked with the former.

An indicator of high stress probably emerged from—

“We’ve had a few disagreements about the future,” Kazi admitted.

“The future?” Healer Natasha hefted her bag. “Her future?”

“No.” Kazi scrunched her nose. “Mine.”

Healer Natasha nodded in understanding, approaching the bedroom door. “It would be best to avoid stressful conversations as they can exacerbate her symptoms, especially conversations about the future. Patients suffering from terminal disease struggle with both the unknown and the desire for a future. Talks about what you will be doing in a year or two can increase distress.”

Late evening sunshine bespeckled the surrounding jungle when Healer Natasha left. Kazi locked the front door and leaned against the wall, pressing her palms to her eyes.

Her head felt too heavy. Too full. Like it was stuffed with wet sheep wool and she couldn’t stop it from expanding and thickening.

Deciding fresh air and the setting sun might ease her headache, Kazi wandered to the sunroom. She expected to find Neyti absorbed in a sketch. Instead, she stumbled on a puzzling sight.

Outside, Neyti sat among the ferns, a canvas on her lap and a paintbrush in her hand. For a brief moment, Kazi was distracted by the canvas and paints. The ones Commander Cody had gifted Neyti a few days ago. She hadn’t seen Neyti use them before and the sight eased some of her tension. She made a mental note to tell the commander when he returned to the house from his mission. He would appreciate it.

And then she took in the entire situation, and former elation gave way to exasperation.

Rather than painting, Neyti was scowling, her knuckles white against a paintbrush. Scowling at Commander Fox and trooper Nova.

The clones must have returned from the Marketplace while Kazi was speaking to Healer Natasha. Each carried a bag of groceries, but it was Commander Fox who also held a cup in his hand. He stood a few meters from Neyti and was gesturing to the cup. Behind him, Nova grimaced.

Commander Fox took a step closer. He started to kneel.

Eyes narrowed, Neyti brandished her paintbrush and stabbed it in his direction.

“Oh my fucking gods,” Kazi muttered under her breath.

The commander lifted a hand in surrender, and he slowly lowered the cup to the ground. Neyti swiped at him. Again. Kazi hurried outside.

“Neyti.” The girl blinked at her. Kazi gave her a long look. “We don’t hit people with paintbrushes.” She turned on the commander. “And if she doesn’t want whatever you have, don’t pressure her to accept it.”

Commander Fox shrugged, his casual demeanor forcibly unruffled. “I was going to leave it there and walk away.”

Kazi turned her attention back to Neyti, lifting an eyebrow. Neyti glowered at Commander Fox and then lowered her brush. A frustrated huff spoke her true feelings.

Sharing a look with Commander Fox—the clone’s mouth pressed in a hard line—Kazi accepted the cup he placed in her hands. Lemony shaved ice filled it to the brim, and she felt herself start to smile as she knelt on the ground. Neyti eyed the cup suspiciously.

“This is a treat,” Kazi explained, spooning a lump of ice.

“I told her that,” the commander said. A distinct line wrinkled between his eyes. “I thought younglings liked dessert.”

“They do.” Nova’s voice was quiet, softer than Commander Fox’s. His hair was longer than any of the three commanders and a yellow tattoo of a rising sun lightened his left cheek. “Guess the problem is you.”

Commander Fox rolled his eyes.

Ignoring them, Kazi offered the spoonful of ice to Neyti. The girl hesitated.

“It’s really good, I promise,” she encouraged.

When Neyti continued to eye the cup, Kazi shrugged, taking a bite for herself. Commander Fox had opted for a simple flavor: lemon with a hint of mint. It wasn’t half bad, though she preferred lemon and lavender.

“You know,” she said, meeting Neyti’s intrigued gaze, “shaved ice is popular on Ceaia.”

The pointed comment was a theory she had developed the last few weeks, and Neyti’s reaction—her lips parting and former suspicion melting into interest—partially confirmed it.

Neyti set aside her canvas and paintbrush, and Kazi handed her the cup. Carefully, Neyti spooned a small mouthful of the ice and took a tentative bite.

Her eyes widened. Fascination, and subtle delight, lit her face. She took another, larger bite.

A quiet, hoarse chuckle emanated from the clone commander, and Neyti stiffened. A disparaging glare darkened her face. To Kazi’s slight amusement, Commander Fox winked. An angry flush darkened Neyti’s face. The little girl shoved herself to her feet, huffed her annoyance in Commander Fox’s direction, and stomped toward the closest tree, collapsing among its knotted roots.

“Good going,” Nova said. Shoving the commander in the shoulder, he grabbed both bags of groceries and strode into the house.

Commander Fox slid his hands into his trousers’ pockets, watching Neyti. “You have your hands full. With that one and your sister.”

The amusement in his tone—the suggestion behind his comment—made Kazi stiffen. He had no right to judge Neyti and her sister. He had no right to make them his entertainment.

“Don’t talk about Neyti that way,” she said coldly. “And don’t talk about my sister, either.”

The commander blinked his bemusement. “I wasn’t—”

“I have work to do.” Stepping away, she settled her attention on Neyti. “You should go inside. I think it’s best if you don’t bother her.”

A muscle ticked in his jaw but Commander Fox inclined his head, retreating into the house.

The moment the back door snapped shut, Kazi grimaced. Maybe she was too quick to judge him. Maybe she shouldn’t have snapped at him. And she probably should have thanked him for thinking of Neyti. For buying her a treat.

But Kazi couldn’t muster the energy to care. To feel ashamed for her behavior.

Stress had gnawed through her muscles and was now working on her bones, dull teeth steadily eating her away.

She wondered how long she would last.

It didn’t matter, really. Once Neyti was adopted and Daria passed away, there would be nothing left to concern her. And no one to know her.

The bluish glow of Eluca’s three moons washed across the first level while Kazi mopped the hardwood floors. Unable to sleep, she thought the repetitive motions would soothe the amalgamated mess of conflicting thoughts pounding inside her head. So far, it hadn’t worked.

She needed to access the bank codes for Bash. And yet she still didn’t know how to.

She needed to research Daria’s disease and see if there was an explanation for her rapid progression. And yet she knew it was ultimately futile.

She needed to reconvene with the adoption center and confirm Neyti’s application. And yet she had to wait for Neyti’s testing.

She needed to call a mechanic and get the kitchen fixed—the squeaky drawers, broken cabinets, weak faucet grew more problematic by the day. And yet she couldn’t muster the fucking energy to make one comm call.

The house was dirty. She hadn’t properly cleaned the kitchen, living room, and sunroom in a month, and her bedsheets were unwashed for more than three weeks, and she hadn’t dusted in a long time, and there were crumbs—fucking crumbs—on the kitchen counters because the adults in this house were too lazy to properly clean the fucking counters after a meal.

Living room floors scrubbed and drying, Kazi made her way to the kitchen. A glance at the chrono heightened her fatigue.

She closed her eyes, telling herself not to cry. She wanted to sleep, but she couldn’t. And she despised lack of sleep. Her head felt too heavy to think and her muscles too slow to respond. She would most likely opt out of a swim and then she would miss an important workout and—

Kazi opened an upper cabinet and retrieved the sole bottle of alcohol in the house. A bottle of aged red wine.

Daria couldn’t drink because of her medicine, and Kazi disliked the lack of control she experienced when she did drink, so alcohol was in short commodity. The bottle of wine she was uncorking was a gift from the neighbor a kilometer away. An older man she hadn’t spoken to since, though she did wave whenever she saw him drive by.

A short pop and the cork fell away. A regular glass filled to the brim. A dark red unsavory.

At the first mouthful, Kazi nearly spit it out. Gods, she hated wine. Too sweet. Too thick. Too many uncomfortable memories.

Another mouthful and she closed her eyes. The image of Daria, pale and sweaty, begging not to be hurt, seared her mind. Her eyes flew open. She released a shaky breath.

The urge to run spasmed down her spine. The urge to leave the house, leave her sister and Neyti, and just run.

Run far away. Away from the responsibility, away from Daria’s suffering.

Kazi stared at the dark wine, its color too reminiscent of blood. Her hand started to shake and she set the glass aside. It was pathetic, but the bloody glass reminded her of her first, and only, time fishing with her father.

She was five, eager to prove herself a reliable sailing companion.

They sailed to one of the islands, her father cast a line, and they sat for an hour. Waiting. It was a rare day. The sun peeked through Ceaia’s usually gray clouds, its rays a gregarious warmth.

Little Kazi had high expectations. For both herself and the experience.

The line snagged, and she and her father shared an excited grin, reeling in the first catch of the day: a fish longer than her arm and quite fat. She watched her father kneel on the wooden boards. The fish squirmed and struggled. Kazi no longer felt excited.

Her father raised a long spike. She kept watching the fish try to escape. To return home and live. Her father stabbed the fish in its head.

The sight haunted her nightmares for an entire year.

The fish wriggling. Blood oozing from its scales. The sound of its tail smacking the deck.

It took a long time for the fish to quiet and then still.

Little Kazi sobbed. She sobbed over the pain and suffering of a fucking fish.

Startled by her reaction, her father abandoned the rest of the trip and they returned home. And so began a life avoiding the signs of pain and suffering.

More difficult to avoid than Kazi had expected considering her mother owned the local apothecary and served as a healer on most days. She had forced Kazi and Daria to accompany her during busy hours. Daria helped. Eager to ease patients’ suffering. Eager to do good. Kazi stood in the corner, hands pressed to her ears, trembling as she listened to grunts of pain. Screams.

She took to running away. To avoid it all.

The day her father died, she was ten, and she saw him in the med-center bed. His body was broken; his face was swollen. He had reached for her. His pain was too similar to Daria’s.

Except his death was different.

His sudden absence left her shocked and grieving—there was no time to prepare. She had eaten breakfast with him that morning, and he was gone by dinner.

Daria’s illness prolonged her pain and suffering.

There would come a time when her little sister no longer remembered her. A time when Daria wouldn’t even know her own name.

And Kazi wasn’t prepared for it. No matter the façade she wore, she wasn’t prepared.

Swallowing another mouthful of the sweet wine, Kazi drained two-thirds of the glass. She was about to force herself to finish it when the front door banged open.

The glass fell. Its shatter was as loud as a blaster shot in the silence of night. Wine splattered her freshly mopped floors.

Heart slamming against her chest, Kazi peered around the staircase wall and toward the entryway. A glaring Commander Wolffe followed by a narrow-eyed Commander Cody shadowed the hall. The front door snapped behind them, the lock sliding in place.

The anger emanating from them was palpable enough that Kazi’s stomach dropped. Tension slithered down her spine and she retreated into the middle of the kitchen, the bar serving as a barrier.

The clones trudged toward the bookcase, Commander Cody offering her a grim nod before disappearing into the basement. Commander Wolffe paused beside the bookcase. He tucked a small, worn notebook into his utility belt and lifted his gaze to hers.

A blackening blob puffed his right eye. His tetchy expression reminded her of their last conversation a few nights ago. The conversation when he rudely dismissed her.

Tapping her fingers against the counter, she studied the harsh lines of his face.

Mouth pressed in a thin line. Shoulders rigid. Jaw clenched painfully tight.

“Do you want to discuss the intel?” she asked.

It was like poking a shark with a fishing pole—purposeful agitation with the expectation of a reaction. She knew she should ignore him. Clean up the glass and go to bed. However, she wanted to antagonize him. Because he was rude and dismissive and she needed to know why he no longer wanted to share intel. Needed to know why she wasn’t considered good enough for him.

“I told you,” he said, voice taut with restraint, “I’ve changed my mind.”

“Why.”

The commander regarded her. Bored, unfazed by her question.

“I don’t understand you.” She chuffed a sardonic laugh. “You were the one who asked me to work on the intel—”

“I don’t believe you’re capable of handling it.”

Her lips pursed. “I attended one of the most prestigious universities in the Outer Rim. I received not only my first degree in basic analytics, but I received a second and third degree in military and political intelligence. Military analytics is my specialty. I’m more than credentialed to analyze your intelligence. More than you probably are as a soldier.”

Commander Wolffe released a scoff so full of scorn her vision reddened. The commander’s outline blurred at the edges, and she knew she needed to walk away.

“What’s your problem?” she demanded.

A moment of silence passed. The commander seemed to be wavering between his two options: engage or back away. His soldiery background must have won out because he squared his shoulders and let the bookcase close. He took a step closer, countenance ornery.

“My brothers and I are the ones out there. Running missions. Risking our lives,” Commander Wolffe said. His voice was low, strained with a rising rage that set her on edge. “We don’t have room for a shoddy analytic job. We don’t have room for mistakes.”

“My analyses are not shoddy,” Kazi hissed. “I dedicate time and effort to make sure they’re the most accurate they can be—”

“I know you don’t give a shit about the lives of my brothers. But I do.” He levelled the full weight of his glare on her. A glare full of vitriolic antipathy. “And I won’t put their lives at risk based on your analyses.”

Kazi blinked her shock, straightening her spine. This asshole was questioning her credibility. Questioning her effectiveness at a skillset she had honed for eight years. The skillset she dedicated years of her life to perfecting in order to escape the forced life of demure housewife and child-bearer.

“I would never put someone’s life at risk.” Heated rage turmoiled beneath her skin, churning hotter and faster. “You have no right to judge my skillset—”

“I reserve every right to question your credibility. These are my brothers at risk—”

“Then why did you ask me for help?”

“I miscalculated.” He shrugged. “I realize now you’re lacking the quality we need.”

Internally, she flinched, and it took more effort than she cared to admit to keep her features unruffled. His opinion didn’t matter. She knew her skillset was credible and refined, but she couldn’t entirely dissuade the self-doubt it procured.

“You’re the one who asked me for help, and now all you can do is ridicule my work?” A hollow laugh broke loose. “You’re pathetic.”

Commander Wolffe jerked away, his nostrils flaring and scowl hardening into deep fissures. He took a breath. And then another. Never looking away.

“Are you going to bring men around here?” The question caught her off guard but she didn’t miss the blatant mistrust and scorn. “I’ll need to know. For security purposes.”

Kazi eyed him for a long moment and then realization crashed into her.

The commander had overheard her argument with Daria. A good portion of it.

The judgment in his gaze—the expectation that she would risk their operation for a male—was despicable. And it pissed her off even more.

“That’s not a problem you need to worry about.” She fisted her hands at her sides to steady herself, both from the wine blurring her vision and the defensive anger howling to get out. “Instead of worrying about who I spend my time with, maybe you should worry about your own missions. Since they’re clearly ineffective.”

It was a low blow. A punch straight to his ego and she knew it. She relished in his nearly imperceptible flinch.

“I thought you were running rescue missions, Commander.” She gestured to the empty entryway. “Where are your rescued soldiers?” The taunt was cruel and horrible and she would regret it the moment the conversation ended, but in the moment, she wanted him to hurt. The way she was hurting beneath his criticism of her character. “Maybe if you had an accurate analysis—”

“Shut up.”

“What? You don’t like hearing the truth? Your missions are pointless and do nothing for the good of the galaxy—”

“I’m rescuing my men. I’m doing something. What the fuck are you doing?”

Commander Wolffe took a step closer to the bar, running his tongue along his teeth. Kazi widened her stance, refusing to balk beneath his hostility.

“You’re a nobody from a backwater planet that thought it could rebel against the Empire.” The commander leaned across the bar. “What good did that do for your people? For the galaxy?”

Kazi suddenly felt both cold and hot. How he knew about Ceaia, she wasn’t sure, but it threw her off-kilter. An attack on a vulnerability she tried so hard to bury. An attack on the guilt she harbored for her cowardice.

“You wanna talk about doing nothing for the galaxy,” Commander Wolffe growled, “let’s start with you running from your planet. You could have stayed and fought. And instead, you saved yourself—”

“It would have been a massacre.” Her voice was quiet, underscored by a slight tremble. “Staying would have done nothing—”

He snorted. “You’re a coward.”

“I’m trying to help others. The rebel network—”

“Is an idealistic group of people. They naively believe they can take down the Empire—”

“And is it not naively idealistic to try to rescue clone soldiers from the Empire?” She snickered and the commander stilled, his features stony. “What’s the point? There are hundreds of thousands of clones. You can’t save them all.”

“You wouldn’t understand.” He cocked his head, his sneer belittling. “Your home life is fucked up. You have a kid who doesn’t trust you. Your relationship with your sister is estranged. You’re a shitty sister and even shittier caretaker. And you wouldn’t know the first thing about familial duty.”

The accusation burrowed into her chest and flayed open the encaged emotions she worked tirelessly to repress. Her insides felt cold and tears—from both hurt and self-righteous anger—pressed at the corners of her eyes.

“How can you judge me for my home life when you don’t even understand the meaning of it?” She swallowed, ignoring the blood welling in her palms beneath her fingernails. “You’re a clone. What do you know about familial duty?”

The commander’s upper lip curled. “I have brothers—men I care for. Men I’m trying to save. Every mission I run is for them. What have you done for your family? Nothing.”

“You don’t know what I’ve done for my family. You don’t know what I do for them. You have no right—”

“And you had no right to question me—”

“You’re a paranoid bastard.” A tear eased down her cheek and she furiously wiped it away. “You’re so fucking paranoid because you turned on your own people. Your actions allowed the Empire to rise and the Republic to crumble. And now you expect any and everyone to turn on you because you were the traitor first.”

She was done with this argument. She was so fucking done with him.

“Ridicule the network; ridicule me. I don’t care. But you’re not the selfless hero you believe you are.” Stalking toward the staircase, Kazi threw him a final glare over her shoulder. “If you don’t trust my work—or me—then you can leave.”

Masterlist | Chapter 4 | Chapter 6

A/N: Next chapter release – February 8th

This is where the fun begins.

Tag: @ulchabhangorm

#I Yearn and so I Fear #comment reblog

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give-soup-please · 2 years ago

Note

Previous anon here

I understand. Hell, I even get your perspective, at first you were Just Some Guy, but then I saw more of you. You're the guy who really likes soup, who likes analysing and enjoying fan content, who ran away from home. The guy who lived a life worth considering a story in of itself. When someone makes something that I enjoy, I feel happy and associate that happiness with them. I always rejoiced whenever I saw your comments, I love hearing what authors think of their works, or just commentary on it. Just. The person behind the art puts a lot of the art into context.

And I'll be honest, I've read your response over and over again. I don't think it's still sunk in that this blog has an expiration date. Despite that, I feel pressured by myself to say "oh, you can still think of the characters, you can still love them", but considering your ride or die artistry, I feel more negative will come from positive there. (Apologies if this is a bit all over the place, it is roughly 4am.)

Just. I care about you. I feel emotions for you. I see a you behind the curtain of words that you display, and I care. I feel comforting warmth when you post, showing you're alive. I feel conflicted and bittersweet about this whole situation, and I feel hopeless yet hopeful that there'll be a happy ending to this. I want to say that you can walk your own path, but I don't know enough to say that. I want and wish to be able to help or know what to say for comfort, but instead it's just this jambling mess. I'll miss you, and I'll be concerned for you. What I want to do is pull you close, hug you tight enough to make all the bad problems be squeezed out, and work together on the ones that can't be squeezed out. But I am a stranger on the Internet staying up well past their bedtime. And you are another stranger on the Internet, probably sleeping much more consistently than me. I wish I could end this on something thoughtful and daring and caring, but I'm nearly passing out every time I close my eyes. So, know that you are loved, even if it's the most distant, platonic love you've ever seen.

See ya soupman 🍜🍜🍜

I've kept this in my inbox for a while now, just smiling every time I read it. I'm glad that you and others have gotten joy out of what I've produced over the summer, and I'm doubly glad that people are enjoying the glimpses they see of the person behind the blog.

The relationship I have between my hobbies, my academic life, and the characters I love dearly is a complicated one. Even now, despite the fact that I've been thinking through a response for this for 2+ weeks, I still have trouble defining it. I will always love TSP, there's no way out of it, and I believe that the narrator is one of those exceptionally rare characters who I will always enjoy thinking about and rotating in my head. That won't go away, despite my attempts to suppress how I feel about the game. Believe me, I tried. It didn't work, the narrator lives rent free in my head and is outrageously smug about it. Even now, if I concentrate, I can see him grinning, kicking his feet back, and refusing to go. And frankly, I love him for it. Smug bastard.

The blog can't continue, I already made that determination when I started looking at what being a full time student means. It's a shame, but I only have the brainpower to focus on one at a time. And rather than keep stringing people along and have them wait and hope I get to their request, I decided it would be easier on all of us to make a clean break.

Me going off to college is... technically a happy ending in its own right. It's a matter of perspective, really. I'm majoring in English, my long standing passion. The thing it feels like I was born to do. I wrote my first story when I was five, devoured my first analysis essay at twelve, and I was set on the road for wonderful things. I get to read books and write all day, and you can bet that I'm looking forward to it. On top of that, if I keep my GPA high enough, I've got guaranteed housing for the next 2-3 years, depending on how I play my cards. (That's a long story by itself, a combination of unexpected financial help and scholarships.) As a technically homeless youth living in the most expensive state in America, that's huge. Housing is so hard to come by, and I'm incredibly lucky to have the resources I do. It's either go to college, or risk going to the streets. I know which choice I'm making.

While the direction my life is taking isn't the happy fairytale ending everyone hopes for, it's definitely not a tragedy either. It's a complicated transition between one phase of my life and another. There's grief and bitterness and sorrow, but also a lot of joy and excitement.

There are lovely books in this ivory tower, and the gilded cage is comfortable. I am genuinely content, now that the grief is starting to pass. I mean- they're offering a 'video games and culture' class. C'mon, I'm going to take that for the pure excuse and joy to rant about TSP in essay format. Hell, I'll do my dissertation on it down the line, if the chance ever presents itself. Even within complicated situations, there are ways to find joy and entertainment. I'm planning on taking fun, easy A classes wherever I can. Life will be good, because I'm going to make it that way, even within my limitations.

I appreciate your words, whoever you are. I do not know you, I do not recognize your writing style, but your words are seen and appreciated. Hugs, both physical and virtual, are appreciated too.

I'm wishing you well, anon, just as much as you wish it for me.

#personal #not tsp related #22 days between now and the end #how about that

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apocalypticgargoyle · 4 years ago

Text

𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙊𝘿𝙔 𝙆𝙉𝙐𝘾𝙆𝙇𝙀𝙎 | 𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙡 𝙟𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙨 (18+)

∘ request(s):

“aaah your edgy karl is just *chefs kiss* so good!! could i get the reader patching up edgy karl after a particularly bad fight?”

“can we get something a bit softer for the edgy!karl series? Just love when guys like that are soft with the reader xx”

"ouu maybe for the next part of the edgy karl series reader makes it all about karl? like they end up sleeping in the same bed or smth and while karl is still sleepy/barely waking up reader just makes him feel good"

∘ pairing: edgy!Karl Jacobs x fm!reader

∘ warnings: nsfw (18+), mentions of blood, mentions of fighting, drug use (smoking weed), crude language, oral (m. receiving)

∘ word count: 2417

∘ links: AO3, prev. chapter

∘ a/n: THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REQUESTS FOR EDGY!KARL. YOUR IDEAS ARE HNNNNGGG SO GOOD JESUS CHRIST!

Also if you guys would like to make some of the edgy!Karl edits for the headers and submit them to me, I'll use them :D

This is a bit more dOmEsTiC than this series has been going but, hopefully you guys are still into it. Anyway, I hope everyone is having a good week! Happy reading :)

The air was crisp as the sun began to set; night slinking towards your apartment to envelop you and Karl within its darkness. The two of you watched intently as the ball of light crept towards the horizon line. Karl's arm threaded across your torso, fingertips brushing against the skin of your stomach peeking from beneath the hem of your shirt. You leaned your head against his embrace, wrapping your own arms around his as you sat between his legs. The sound of soft chatter from other floors beneath you filled the expanses between your apartment building and the one adjacent to it. As night fell, people cracked open their windows and hung their feet over the fire escapes.

You and Karl had been out prior to this, sharing a joint as you watched the stars roll in. Karl's back was pressed against the brick wall beneath your window, the blunt hanging loosely from his slender fingers as he bent his knee, giving you something else to curl your arms around. From across the way, someone began playing music, making someone in the apartment directly under the two of you to begin singing.

Karl took a drag off the blunt before letting the thick smoke pour from between his lips. "I think I need to teach you how to skate," he stated rather nonchalantly as he offered you the joint.

You scoffed at his remark, leaning your head back against his chest and taking the blunt from him. "I'd like to see you try," you shot back jokingly, fully knowing you didn't have the balance and he didn’t have the patience, yet something churned within you at the thought. You knew you shouldn't have thought anything of it really, but Karl sharing a portion of something he's passionate about with you was next to a love language.

Since spring break had begun, Karl had begun staying over at your place more frequently. During these nearly intimate moments where it had been only the two of you keeping each other company, you'd come to see Karl as more of a friend than just a booty call. Slowly peeling back the layers of his esoteric aura, you found out his quirks that you'd come to only associate with him, such as the brand of nail polish he trusted because it was a recommendation from a girl in his art class, or how when he was thinking about something deeper than a food order, he'd slick a hand through his hair to brush his bangs out of his eyes.

Yet this meeting was spurred by something else. He’d shown up on your doorstep with a black eye and bruised knuckles. You knew his housemates were beginning to trickle back to campus, so you figured almost instantly that Todd had figured out what the two of you had been up to when he was gone.

You pulled your front door open, tugging your hoodie closer to your body against the wind from outside. Karl stood before you, leaning a hand against your doorframe with a small smile plastered over his busted lip. There was a cut across his cheekbone as if whoever had hit him wore various rings. You gave into the impulses ringing in your body and reached up for his face, gently brushing a thumb against his jaw, which you could now tell was also beginning to bruise. One of his hands reached up to hold your wrist, his fingers grazed against your skin with such gentleness. The action was almost a juxtaposition to the way he looked.

Karl sat down on your toilet, his eyes watching each of your movements as you fished through your cabinet for your roommate’s first aid kit. He wasn’t acting like he had been dragged around instead, he seemed more excited to see you than anything. Maybe that was due to the fact that you fed him, and stray dogs always come back to food.

After clearing most of the dried blood from his wounds, you went about disinfecting and sealing him up. You stood between his legs, gently dabbing at the cut on his cheek, trying desperately not to think about how you were finally living out one of your fantasies. He leaned into your touch almost as if your skin held the elixir of life. You fought not to ask him what had happened because you knew he didn’t like talking about it, but you couldn’t help but worry about him a bit.

You hugged the arm he had around you tighter to your chest, your eyes fixating on an open window across the way from the two of you. There were two people having dinner in a room next to the window, a warm glow from the lamps inside spilling into the dimming night. "Did it get lonely in that big ass house?" You inquired, watching his fingers reach to throw out the dead bud. That hand moved to play with your own, threading his fingers in and out of yours. The bandage wrapped around the base of his fingers stiffened his movements, but he seemed not to pay any mind to it. “I mean, even though you spent most of your time over here…”

You felt him shrug against you. "I don't know." He was quiet for a minute as he thought. "I had the memories of what we did in—what did you call him? Todd?—Todd's bed, to keep me company," he quipped, making you snort. You leaned further back against him, enough to where your head was resting on his shoulder so you were looking up at the faint stars dotting the light-polluted sky. He rested his chin on your shoulder quietly.

As the night grew colder, the two of you climbed back through the window, the haze of the weed still stimulating your mood, yet you quickly found yourself falling asleep in Karl's arms as he tucked your plush comforter around the two of you. His breathy sigh cascaded over your shoulders as he dug his face into your hair. He'd discarded his hoodie before joining your side, so his skin was now warm and inviting as he pressed against you. You bit back a laugh as you silently wished his aftercare was as soft as moments like these.

A crack of thunder shook you from a dream, pulling you awake rather quickly. Your gaze lifted to peer at the clock on your nightstand as the rain seemed to hammer harder on the windows of your bedroom. Karl was sleeping peacefully beside you, arms lazily threaded through your pillows, unintentionally keeping your body closer to him. The bruising on his face somehow had gotten worse, but you were hoping there wasn’t any permanent damage. Maybe he’d have a scar like Johnny Cade?

You slipped into his arms, earning a content sigh from Karl as his hands pushed beneath your shirt to brush his coarse fingers against the soft skin of your back, dipping into the valley of your spine. You pressed your lips against his shoulder before traveling the length of his collarbone and ending at his neck. He hummed in pleasure, still groggy from sleep. You let your lips glide over his skin, before leaning up to kiss him softly. He pulled you closer to him, deepening the kiss with hints of passion despite the fact that he was still taking his time to wake up completely.

Your hands danced towards his sweatpants and you felt him smile against your lips. You pulled away from him slightly, digging your face into the crook of his neck. “Let me make you feel good,” you leered, earning a lazy chuckle from him, his fingers knotting into your hair. A clap of lightning flashed outside, the thunder following to sound as if the storm was sitting on your building’s roof.

Your fingers dipped beneath his waistband, palming him over his boxers slightly. A hushed moan of gratitude slipped past his lips as he softly bucked his hips against your hand while you applied more pressure. Karl sealed his lips against yours, the kiss sending heat throughout your body as his tongue pressed into your mouth, swirling with your own. A moan echoed through his body and into your mouth as he hardened against your hand, asking for more. One of his hands grazed the length of the arm that was working on him, his hand gently grasping your wrist.

You heeded his silent requests, moving your hand so you could straddle him. You ground your hips against him, the friction between your clothes making the fabrics seem thicker and more barrier-like than anything. One of his hands pressed against the small of your back, driving you harder against him. You broke the kiss breathlessly, sitting off of him and tugging your shirt over your head, his eyes grazed over you almost thankfully.

You pushed back the heavy covers, slinking down his legs until you were laying flat, tugging his boxers down in front of you. Your room flashed a bright white as the lightning from outside began to pick up. The sound of the rain's war against your windows was the only sound mixing with Karl's soft moan as your hand wrapped around the base of his cock. You pressed your lips against his tip, one of his hands moving to rest behind his head so he could see you better. Your fingers icked to please him, his body reacting to each of your movements.

He tensed under your grasp as you began to pump your hand, drawing out another soft moan from the man above you. "Does that feel good?" You taunted looking up at him through your eyelashes. He chuckled slightly, a dusting of pink settling into his cheeks. Your tongue slid along his length, basking in how his moans edged on being vulgar as you eased your mouth around his arousal. You bobbed your head once before pulling off of him, continuing to speed your hand motions gradually. His gaze was hazy as he attempted to avoid your sultry eye contact, him twitching at your movements each time he did.

His lips were redder as he chewed on the flesh of them, evident as he continued to fight each moan wanting to escape. You were slightly surprised at this, considering Karl was always shamelessly loud. Maybe it was because he was so vulnerable to you know, and you were in charge.

Your lips slowly traveled back to his arousal, his gray irises swimming with pleasure as you settled into to take him deeper into your mouth. His grip on your arm tightened as you pushed his tip past your lips once again, a strangled groan of pure pleasure hissing through his teeth. As he reached the back of your throat, tears began to brim in the corners of your eyes and his arousal twitched in your mouth. You began to bob your head once again, edging him on further with each of his moans of your name which you knew was a warning that he was close. You alternated the movements of your mouth and hand, making him fight against bucking his hips towards you. His cock tensed and in an instant, hot sticky strands of pleasure were filling your mouth.

He reached forward to brush his finger against your cheek, wiping away some tears that had pressed from your eyes. You pressed your lips against his thigh before crawling back up towards him. He tugged you on top of him again, lips kneading against yours as a silent appreciation. You push his hand back, threading your fingers with his own, careful not to squeeze against his bruised knuckles that you could tell were sore. You bit back a laugh at the thought of your poor broken boy.

As the rain picked up heavier, you sank down on his arousal, earning a deep moan from Karl. The feeling of him inside of you this early in the day was a new kind of bliss. You curled your hips against him before bending down to press your lips against his, his hand tightening around yours. You ground against him, pushing him deeper into you, looking to elicit more of his sultry noises that alone—you were convinced—could send you over the edge. Your mind was set on getting him to climax again. Your teeth brushed against his teeth before moving alongside his jaw, letting him catch his breath.

You pushed his shirt up as you sat back, fingers grazing down his chest as you moved, watching his eyes cloud with bliss to replace their morning hue. As you began to pick up your pace and use him as leverage, you held onto the forearm of his that was gripping onto you. He moaned a few curse words, his head dipping back in bliss, causing the veins in his neck to be more prominent. You moved the hand that was holding onto your waist up to your face. You slipped his index finger into your mouth and his lips parted, eyes fully focused on your actions as your tongue swirled around his fingers.

His attention burned into you, his jaw tensing with each of your tactics. His hand moved from your mouth to wrap around the back of your neck, bringing your lips back to his. As the coolness of his tongue ring grazed against your own tongue, your hips pressed against him harder. You swallowed his moans, feeling him twitch inside of you as you sped up, tightening around him. Thunder shook your tiny apartment again.

He cursed darkly, biting back another groan. In no time, you felt his heat come undone inside of you, pride swelling in your chest at how easy it was for you to get him off. Pleasure drenched his expression, gray irises blooming with bliss and contentment. He pressed his lips against yours briefly before you curled into bed beside him. The two of you sat in silence, listening to the rain.

Karl cleared his throat slightly. "If we do that enough times, do you think we'd get horny whenever there's a storm?"

You furrowed your brows. "What, like you want me to Pavlov you?"

"Yeah."

There was a beat of silence as you fought how to respond to his question. "It'd be interesting to be in your head for a day," you opted.

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@mrwinemaker @madsbbg @idiotinnit

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deltas-writing-corner · 3 years ago

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Courtship (4): The Gargoyle Graveyard

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland (Malleus x GN!reader)

Author note: Again, thank you all for being patient with me and I apologize for having a very inconsistent writing schedule. I'm going to make it my goal to update on a bi weekly basis instead of leaving you all in silent limbo. Also a reminder I suck at figuring out which warnings to put so if there's something that needs to be forewarned that I failed to disclose please lmk!

Warnings: Mentions of heavy bodily injuries | childhood trauma/neglect | discussions/mentions of discrimination | mentions of virginity/sexual history

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AO3 version

Clay. Stone. Porcelain. Plaster. Metal. There are even gargoyles carved entirely of wood! Some statues are stand-alone works of art while others are part of a clear collection or series of similar inspiration. They even come in all sorts of shapes and sizes; as small as an apple or a towering height to rival Malleus himself. No matter what, each grotesque has been crafted with the utmost consideration, by well seasoned and knowing hands. Even the ones that have clear defects and cannot serve their intended purpose are free of overabundant ivy, weeds, or dust. There’s a clear degree of love and care the family who makes these statues has for their craft that makes him feel less alone in his interest in an uncherished form of art.

“It should be around here somewhere,” you muse aloud. Ever since he expressed interest in seeing more sculptures made with non-traditional materials, you’ve been keeping your eye out for a particular one that would fulfill his yearning. You eventually find it and eagerly point to it. “There it is!”

Malleus watches as you approach a massive-sized statue covered with a thick and half-wet tarp. He helps you remove the cover, revealing a winged and slightly humanoid canine. There are many more grotesques with a similar design, but what makes this one stand out the most is the material it’s made out of.

“Amazing!” Malleus awes. “I’ve never seen a grotesque of this size made entirely of glass! They’ve even managed to maintain their attention to detail despite such an abnormal material choice.”

“You can even see the inner channel where the water would flow in and redirect out of its mouth,” you notice.

“They even went out of their way to make it functional despite it being unfit for actual installation?” Malleus inquires with disbelief. “Such a shame.”

“If you’re looking to buy anything here, I’m afraid it's a lost cause. One of the first warnings the grandfather gave me is that none of these are for sale.”

“What was his second warning?”

“If we damage anything, even as small as a scratch, he’ll kill us.”

“How charming,” he chuckles. “I cannot blame him. These statues must take weeks to complete. Time is a human’s greatest enemy.”

“For some, sure. But when I went to visit the family and talked to the old man, he was lunging around all this heavy equipment like he was still in his prime,” you recall. “He lives for his craft. If there’s anything humans are at risk of their entire lives, it’s a lack of motivation and reason to live.”

“I suppose that’s true, but the lifespan of humans and the inevitable effects of aging is difficult to live with, especially once it begins to hinder one’s ability to do what one could previously do without issue. ”

“You’re not wrong,” you acknowledge. “But I think I’d rather live a short life with fulfillment than a dull, long-as-shit life.”

To show that he’s entirely on your side, Gunter lets out a guttural bark while his tail rapidly wags and thumps the damp ground, coating the ends of his bushy tail in specs of dirt and dirtied, remnant snow of the north that has managed to stay frozen on the isles warmer south end.

“You’re only agreeing with them because you’ve been promised food,” Malleus chastises. “Don’t think I didn’t pick up on your grumbling stomach.”

“And don't think I didn't pick up on your stomach rumbling either your highness," you quip back at him. "The family has a small cottage nearby we can use. We'll settle down for a bit and eat before sightseeing some more."

Before you turn and walk in the direction towards the aforementioned lodgings, you reach your hand out for Malleus to take and he latches onto you with restrained enthusiasm. He's taller than you, but he takes care not to take his normal strides as to not leave you struggling to keep up with him. Gunter doesn't know the way, so he trots beside you every step of the way up until the destination is in plain view. The cottage is small but well-attended. There’s a rustic flair to its construction that makes it feel familiar and safe despite never stepping foot in it before.

"Those gargoyles were something, huh?" you remark to him while you tap and shake off the gunk wedged into the soles of your heavy boots against the frame of the door.

"Indeed," he nods, taking your cloak off for you and hanging it on the wooden rack nearby. "I don't think I've ever seen that many gargoyles in one day. Just when my eyes land upon an intriguing one, there's several more that catch my attention."

The way he gets all wide-eyed is outright adorable. It makes you grin just as enthusiastically too. "I bet your club is going to have a field day once you tell them about this!"

His child-like smile turns into one of disappointment. "I'm certain they would, if I wasn't the sole member that is."

Your hands halt from pulling out and setting down all the premade food out of your pack. "Seriously? You're the only one?"

When he nods his head, you feel a twinge of hurt in your heart. Poor guy. You can only imagine how disappointing it must be to go through all those lengths to start a club (you would know since you're technically a staff member of the school and have been given a rundown on some of the school's functions and regulations) only for no one to show interest. Of course, you completely understand that gargoyles aren't exactly all the rage within the minds of teenage boys. Still! He goes through so much effort to build relationships with his peers but they always cower away, either due to his status or even because of the way he looks. You won’t deny that he does come off as rather intimidating at first glance, but he's a sweet guy once you give him the chance to speak.

But to expect teenagers going through social pressures and demanding academics to be as understanding and willing to understand someone like Malleus is an impossible demand. Given that everyone in the school can be a bunch of self-centered and easily agitated bunch of pricks, it's understandable that most of the student body isn't keen on trying to take into consideration the proper etiquette one needs to consider in the presence of a young and noble fae. Deuce has met and talked briefly with Malleus on one occasion, but even he visibly shakes whenever his name is mentioned, even in casual passing.

Wait until they found out who you've gone and gotten buddy-buddy with behind their back. They probably think they're slick or that their intentions are well swept under the rug, but it's clear they feel some semblance of responsibility for your well-being, as both a magicless individual as well as a close, albeit older, friend. You dread the day people begin to make the connections between Malleus and you, but you still can’t help but wonder what their reactions might be. You also dread the high probability those two idiots are going to find out and embarrass the living hell out of you, which you know you do not have the patience or tolerance for.

Gunter jumps up and sits himself down in one of the wooden dining chairs, pushing the small ceramic plate towards you with his nose, as if telling you "Alright, I’ve done what I said I'd do, now feed me what I'm owed." You tell him that you'll give him what he's well earned after you get a small fire started in the brick fireplace. Just because it's warmer near the southern half of the island and not as heavily blanketed with snow, doesn't mean the cold has completely vanished, Winter is still winter after all.

"Where did these scars come from?"

Malleus' unexpected question and closeness nearly make you drop the iron rod you've been using to stoke the growing fire. You've since taken off your boots and rolled up the bottoms of your pants just above your knee as the room starts to warm up enough for a thin layer of perspiration to accumulate and roll down your skin. The scars he's referring to are the ones on your right leg, both side by side at an awkward angle and discolored. You have a lot more scars than these, some much more gruesome in appearance than these two. Malleus has never asked about your scars, but sometimes you catch him looking in the general area of some that peak through your clothes. He likely keeps quiet about their existence out of courtesy.

Yet out of all the markings on your body, why did these two stand out enough that he'd finally ask about them?

"It's a long story," you say in an effort to stall the topic. "Sit. I'll feed you two once the fire is stable."

He doesn’t push you for an answer, instead simply doing as you say and lets you poke at the burning logs until they're properly aflame on their own. You made mostly some of your morning favorites; Creamy and thick potato stew with diced carrots and peas and some eggs, ham, and crispy hash browns sandwich between homemade halved croissants. You teased him about having picky taste buds earlier, but Malleus is content to eat anything you serve him so long as it is not comparable to the likes of Lilia's atrocious cooking.

(Seriously, how does a man as old as Lilia not know the basic fundamentals of cooking? And why does everything he makes end up burnt and tasting like something rotten? You will never understand.)

"Don't eat too quickly," you warn Gunter as you pour a bit of light-colored soup onto his designated plate. Your words are ignored, as the equally marred wolf sloppily slurps and munches on the few bits of potatoes and vegetables you generously scraped out of the thermos. His food is gone as quickly as it’s put in front of him and he looks at you expecting more.

"No. The rest is mine," you scold. "And don't beg Malleus for some either! I know you do it behind my back, you little shit!"

He turns to look at Malleus with an accusatory glare, thinking that he ratted him out to you. Malleus’s response towards the silent imputation is to turn and look out the window as if something caught his interest all of a sudden, cup raised to his lips as he politely sips away at his meal without an air of calmness. You have to slap a hand over your mouth to hide the amusement that overtakes your senses.

"Malleus, stop that!"

"Stop what?" he innocently asks.

"Stop making me want to laugh!"

He sets his cup down onto its matching serving dish. "It's not my fault you have an easily satiable sense of humor."

"Wow!" you say incredulously and put your arms up in offense. "And here I was thinking we were friends!"

His distant demeanor breaks and you both devolve into a fit of laughter together. Gunter unfortunately takes advantage of your joint distraction and slips away with a warm sandwich between his jaw, your sandwich in particular.

"That damn wolf!" you curse. "I knew I should have trusted my gut and pack extras.”

Malleus pities your distress before moving over to sit closer. "Worry not. I'll split mine in half with you,” he reassures.

"No, it's fine," you immediately dismiss his offer. "Have it for yourself."

"I'm not taking no for an answer," he firmly states. “Don’t be stubborn. It’s far too early for that.”

"I thought you liked it when I was stubborn?” you pout.

He shakes his head with a smile. “I would be lying if I said I didn’t”

"At least someone likes my attitude,” you say after chewing and swallowing a mouthful of soup. “Sebek certainly doesn’t."

"The boy is stubborn as well. When two equally stubborn individuals cross paths, you will witness nothing but discord between the two."

"Add the fact I'm human into the mix, and we'll be exchanging fists instead of words sooner or later," you scoff. "I get that some faes don't like humans, but what's his deal with acting like he’s got a vendetta against me?"

"Sebek doesn't hate humans for the reasons you might think," Malleus admits. "It’s more like he finds them difficult to think that highly of. Did you know that he is half-human?"

You nearly choke on your own breath over the sudden revelation. "Really?"

"Indeed," Malleus finds amusement at your disbelief. "Have you ever wondered why his ears aren't pointed like Silver, but his eyes are like mine and Lilia’s?"

"Damn,” you scratch the back of your head with embarrassment. “Now I feel stupid.”

"You aren't. Given the way he speaks, not many would assume he had human blood in his veins. His mother was highly regarded within her social circle, but her marriage to a human man tarnished her reputation a great deal. She's happy and does not seem to care what others think of her these days. However, when Sebek set out to be a knight, his mother's marriage and his lineage were often brought up as a way to scrutinize his character and capabilities rather than any of his actual shortcomings as an individual."

"Poor kid," you sigh. "Lilia told me those sorts of things still happen in The Valley, but it sounds so outlandish that I couldn’t take it that seriously."

"Many faes hold old traditions above all else, to a degree that the purity of one's blood stands above all other merits." His eyebrows pressed together in annoyance. "Even my grandmother thinks it's archaic, but as the reigning queen she has to embody a persona of neutrality between the social divide."

"It sounds like you have your work cut out for you in the future," you say, almost apologetically. "What do you plan to do about it once you're the king?"

There's a brief flash of surprise over your question, but Malleus easily answers it as usual. "I think my first course of action as king would be to properly knight Sebek and Silver."

"Bet my rifle that Sebek is going to cry the entire ceremony!" you remark with certainty. "That's all he ever goes on about, being a knight and all."

"He's devoted countless hours and efforts since he was a child. If there's anyone who deserves to join the knighthood, it's him."

"Definitely," you nod to further cement your agreement with him. "He could stand to lower his voice a bit. He'll give you tinnitus before long.”

"At least we won't have to worry about losing him in a crowd," Malleus jests.

"That's to say we'll lose sight of him to begin with," you remark. "He'll gladly lose me in a crowd. You? You'd be lucky to get out of arm's length."

"You underestimate me, dearest," Malleus smirks. "Ever since I've met you, I've perfected the art of avoiding Sebek's insistent searches."

"Have you now?" you razz back. "Don't let him catch onto the fact. He'll have my head."

He reaches over and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. Each second his skin touches yours makes you tingle. Time slows down ever so briefly if only to savor the small instance of physical connection for as long as possible. "What of your aunts?" he inquires. "Are they as overprotective of you as Sebek is of myself?"

"They’re a trio of mama bears," you proudly admit. "I'm old enough to drink and well equipped to fend for myself, but in their minds, I'll always be the little tyke that couldn't even eat their meals without looking at them for approval. Especially my aunt Gia."

You have three aunts. There's your aunt Marisol, the mother of most of your cousins and the main caretaker of the household. Your second aunt Lucia was well into her studies at university when you came to live with them, but her stress and long hours of mulling over her course materials paid off in the long run. Your gardening skills wouldn't be what they are now without her expertise in agricultural botany.

Then there's your aunt Gia. Oldest of the three. An absolute tank of a woman. No spouse. No kids of her own. She lived off the land like an absolute titan. The woman raised you as if she was the one that carried you for nine months and not your actual birth mother.

How would you describe your parents? If your parents were told to list out their priorities in life, their careers would be at the top of the list and you would be put at the very bottom. Why they carried you to term is beyond your understanding. You later learned that Gia had even offered to take you under her care well before your birth, knowing that your parents might not be well-suited to take care of you in the way she thinks would be beneficial for you. It was a convenient offer that would have saved everyone the trouble years down the line when you had your accident. They worked in a cutthroat industry and were constantly moving up the executive echelons. They had no time for you, yet their pride as a pair of young, successful business magnates made them incapable of seeing past the reality of the situation. That left you mostly in the care of last-minute caretakers and your aunts, but only if they had time from their own busy and preoccupied lives to come out into the city and visit.

You were eight years old when things started to get better, but it was upstarted in the worst possible way. Your parents had to go away for the upcoming weekend for work and left you in the care of a babysitter as per the norm. The babysitter never showed up however and your parents apparently couldn’t be bothered to check up on you even once the entire trip. Their silence wasn’t surprising. You just went on about your business for the next three days on your own like nothing was wrong. Your aunt Gia had even called at one point to check up on you, but you didn’t bother to tell her that your parents had left you to fend for yourself. She would have exploded if you did, but not as much as she did when you woke up in the hospital after falling down the stairs and lying helplessly on the ground for several hours with a dislocated shoulder and a compound-fractured leg. You were lulling in and out of consciousness due to all the medication pumped into you, but what little you do remember seeing and hearing when you regained consciousness will forever stick with you for the rest of your life.

If people think your level of swearing is bad, they should have heard your aunt that day. She swore so viciously that it could set an innocent bystander's eardrums on fire. What will forever stand out the most to you was the fact that your parents didn’t even look the least bit apologetic or regretful. They didn’t even approach you once your aunt was done giving them a piece of her mind to check up on you. They simply talked with the awaiting social worker and doctors and then left. It was for the better, but the small part of you that continued to hold onto the desperate belief that your parents would come around one day sent you into a thrashing frenzy and you had to be sedated before you could hurt yourself anymore.

The next year was spent recovering from your injuries, meeting regularly with your caseworker, and going through therapists like a pack of cigarettes. By the time you were back on your feet and the legal proceedings of your custody case were concluded, all you wanted was to move on with it all. Nearly a decade of neglect left you this unattentive, uncertain husk of a person who couldn’t take a single step forward without looking for some sort of guidance or assurance. Your family was exhausted by the entire ordeal and over speaking with third parties. Your aunts took it upon themselves to help you regain your sense of self in the comfort of your new home, no matter how difficult or demanding it was going to be.

“It took some time, but eventually it clicked in my mind that I was in a better place and I started to get better. As for my parents, I have no clue what they’re up to these days.” You lean back into your chair and let out a shaking yawn. “I like to think they’re getting on well like I am.”

“I don’t understand.” Malleus looks at you with unbelievable confusion. “Your parents treated you poorly, yet you don’t sound the least bit resentful. Why is that?”

You shrug your shoulders. “What’s the point? I'm in a better place now, so I've let bygones be bygones. 'Doesn't mean I don't harbor any anger against them anymore. I do, but getting upset won't change what's happened to me."

Gunter, having sensed your discomfort over the matter, trots over and rests his head on your lap. You gratefully rub the top of his head, carding your hands through his thick, coarse hair. "I'm just glad they let me go without a fuss. Family court was hell for my family.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Expensive too.”

Crackling wood fills the momentary silence that befalls the small cottage. What you've recollected to Malleus is a lot to take in, and if you're being quite honest you'd prefer if he just dropped the subject and talked about literally anything else right now. You hope he doesn't say he's sorry or any other type of apologetic comment. That's all you were ever told that entire year it all happened, during court proceedings, your rehabilitation, by both strangers and distant family members alike.

"I'm so sorry. What happened to you was unfortunate. You didn't deserve it."

No shit you didn't deserve any of that. You were a kid. You don’t need one pity party after another to realize that what took place then had fucked you forever. But as you said earlier, you're in a better place now, with a loving and supportive family that's moved on alongside you. A family you need to get back to as soon as possible.

"I love you."

Well, if he was hoping to take your mind off the past. that certainly did it. How can it not? It came out of nowhere and as good as you are at holding your composure when need be, you're sure you look no less like a gaping fish when warm and plush softness presses right against the corner of your lips. A kiss. His kiss.

"What's wrong?" Your voice sounds shaky. You’re nervous.

"Nothing," he smiles reassuringly. "I simply said what I felt needed to be said."

"Fair enough" you concede easily. He was going to say it sooner or later. He already has actually, now that you think about it. Yet here you are trying to process his words like it’s rocket science.

"Am I going about this too fast perhaps?" he genuinely asks. His hands that have been busy massaging your calves that have settled across his lap somewhere during your long retelling gradually slow down, but his hands never go completely still. "This is my first time experiencing something like this."

"What?" You sit up a bit straighter. "A relationship?"

"Yes."

Your head tilts to the side. "Really?"

He nods hesitantly "Yes?"

For a moment, you go completely quiet. "I don't believe you,” you doubtfully say, head shaking to further showcase your refusal to believe him.

He must not have liked your remark, frowning with clear offense in his eyes. When he dislikes something, the vertical slits in his eyes contract into a thin line. "I cannot lie, yet you still doubt me?"

"I know you can't lie, but I find it hard to believe you haven't been with anyone else before," you explain. Before you can consider the appropriateness that was your newfound curiosity about Malleus's apparently non-existent love life, you blurt out, "Are you still a virgin?"

You slap your hand over your mouth the moment those words come out of it. He's equally caught off guard and nearly drops his warm cup of coffee. Even Gunter is surprised by your question, olive-colored eyes looking at you as if you've lost your mind. It's an invasive question, inappropriate even. You and Malleus have been dating for a little over two days. A question like that is way too early to bring up just yet.

"You don't have to answer that," you tell him behind your palm. "I shouldn't have even asked it. Forget I ever brought it up-”

"I'm not," he interrupts you, leaving you even more shocked than you already are. You’re practically gaping like a fish by now. "I'm not a virgin,” he further insinuates.

A deafening silence, but it’s eventually broken by yourself. “I still don’t believe you.”

Malleus gets further annoyed at your refusal to accept his truth. "I'm not lying!" he insists.

"Bullshit!"

"Do you want me to recount my history to you?" he asks, exasperated as you are at the shift the conversation is taking. "Will that satisfy your doubts?"

"You know what? It will!" you loudly declare. "Who'd you sleep with?"

"He was a young page at the time,” he reminisced. “It happened before I was a century old.”

Your eyebrows raise with intrigue. "Was he cute?"

"Yes," he hushedly agrees. The disconcerting admittance paints his face a pinkish-red glow. "But that's not why I bedded him."

"But surely his looks are what made you interested in the first place?” you make blatant regard of the fact.

“You’re not wrong,” he acknowledges, expertly avoiding agreeing with you outright. “But his looks aren't the sole reason I was drawn to him. He was bright-eyed and ambitious, to the point you’d think him insane given his position in the court. It was also the first time I ever truly met with a group of humans, and my young mind was eager to get a more accurate perspective of humans that wasn’t through the lens of my tutors.”

“An ‘accurate perspective’?” You make playful air quotes, eyebrows wiggling because you know the fact that he knows what you’re implying. The playful comment is met with a sharp pinch on your leg that makes you jump and shriek out in pain. Did he have to dig his nails into you? Apparently so, and now you have small crescent indents on your skin. “I bet Lilia had a good laugh when he found out.”

“He doesn’t know, actually,” he admits to you with what is obviously a proud smile.

“Now I know you’re lying to me,” you scoff. “Nothing escapes the old man’s radar.”

His hands begin to rub out the marks he’s left on you as a form of apology. “Lilia is sharp, but he had lost most of his vigor by the time I was born.”

You go wide-eyed again. “You mean his hearing and eyesight was better than it is now?”

He nods affirmatively. “From what I’ve been told, terrifyingly so.”

Lilia is already frightening as is. His short stature and boyish looks make him perfectly unassuming to those who don’t know any better. You once watched him beat up a couple of bulky, twice-his-height students from Savanaclaw without breaking a sweat, yet moments before he was jokingly scolding himself for dozing off so easily. You never once thought he was ever out of his elements. A cold chill runs down your spine thinking how much more perceptive the older fae may have been back during his prime years.

“Wonder what Lilia’s gonna think,” you ponder out loud in a quick effort to banish out the skin-prickling mental imagery your mind was invoking. “About us, I mean.”

Malleus seems surprised that you would change the topic to that of all things, but his initial shock goes away as quickly as it came. “As you may have guessed, he’s an open-minded individual, but he’s also very realistic and unafraid to say what’s on his mind.”

“So what does that mean for you and me?” you question with a bit of hesitation.

“Well,” he trails off and ponders for a moment. “He’ll surely like the scandal our relationship would invoke. However, as my caretaker and mentor, he won’t hesitate to put an end to it if he feels it necessary.”

Had it been anyone else sitting beside you, you’d have found that comment way too extreme and outright ridiculous. However, you are not speaking to anyone ordinary. You are not sitting before someone normal. It doesn't matter how well you get along with him. It sure as hell doesn't matter how deeply in love you are with him, and him of you. The moment you have been deemed a shortcoming, the outings, the closeness, it all stops. All of it will come crashing down and both you and him will be left wondering what could have been done differently.

Malleus is truly your best friend, because already he can tell that your mind is beginning to spiral even when you go quiet. He calls for your attention by gripping his hand around your bare ankle and carefully tugging the end of your limb. “Don’t fret over it too much,” he soothes, yet also sounding like he’s scolding you for letting your mind wander off so negatively. “Lilia is an exceptional judge of character. From what I’ve gathered, you’ve well exceeded all his marks. He trusts you, and to gain such a thing from someone as old and wise as him is an extraordinary feat.”

You brew over the attempted compliment he tried to pay to you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t snub out all these festering thoughts in your head. It doesn’t even give you temporary relief. Perhaps it would have brought you a sense of peace a few months ago, but with everything that has happened thus far, you doubt even Malleus can alleviate the storm that rattles inside you, even if what he speaks is without a doubt nothing but the truth.

Surely he can see that you are still having some hangups. When you lift his hand and plant a chaste kiss on the back of his hand, you hope he can decipher the gesture as a pitiful request for his forgiveness for dampening the once energetic mood. He is not at fault for your loss and inability to think optimistically at the moment and you need to make sure he knows it.

Today is about him, not you. Even if it’s just for today, you’ll put on a pleasant facade and worry about the rest at a later date. It’s just you and him, and for now, that’s enough.

You do a mental countdown starting from three, before finally giving him a late response to the three words he uttered in confidence to you earlier. “I love you too, by the way.”

You love him. You love him. You love him. That’s all his mind can think of for the rest of the day. He replays your reciprocation over and over like it’s sacred and all-powerful.

He had planned to return to his dorm before the sun began to set, but he found the mere idea of detaching from you deeply unwanted and made the last-minute decision to spend the evening at the Ramshackle dorm. He already has a few articles of clothing and personal essentials set up in one of the many empty rooms, so neither Lilia nor you had any objections at his sudden request.

“Don’t worry!” You shout across the room so that Lilia can hear you over his phone. “I’ll make sure he gets to bed on time!”

“You have my gratitude!” Lilia’s muffled voice responds gratefully. “Don’t cause too much trouble now, you two.”

“No promises~” you sing in jest before Malleus hangs up. Once the call ends Johnny, Benji, Franky, and you turn their attention back to their ongoing game of poker. Malleus watches and occasionally laughs to himself over the friendly banter shared between the quartet. At the end of every round, the winner is assaulted with colorful profanities whilst they take their newly won gambling chips with ebullience. Yet with each new dealing of cards, the animosity goes away and they’re all back to being friendly. He finds your interactions with your incorporeal roommates more entertaining than the book he’s been reading to pass the time.

“Hey, fairy boy,” Franky informally calls out toward him. “Don’t be a stranger now. Play a few rounds with us.”

“I’m afraid I’m not well versed in card games,” he admits, yet he still finds himself setting his literature aside and moving over to join them.

“Don’t worry,” you give him a reassuring smile. “They’ll go easy on you.”

“For how long?” he knowingly asks.

You give him an impressed smirk at his quick uptake. “I give it three rounds before they start to pull back their sleeves.”

Malleus is well-adjusted to the need to quickly learn a new topic and the expectation for him to fully comprehend it in full. None of them are harsh on him for his minor mistakes like some of the tutors he’s had in the past. Answers that he believes may be obvious or not as complicated as he thinks they are being answered with enthusiastic patience. The smallest achievements he makes are met with a proud response. When he makes a surprise turnabout and wins his first game, he’s rewarded with an encouraging round of applause by everyone.

“Not bad,” Benji praises as he shuffles the deck of cards. “You’re a fast learner.”

“So I’ve been told,” he humbly replies. “Is this the part where you all stop going easy on me now?”

“Don’t provoke them,” you half-heartedly warn. “Otherwise we’ll be up all night duking it out otherwise.”

Franky sets his glass of iced liquor down on the edge of the table. “Don’t you little lovebirds worry. We won’t take up too much of your well-needed time together.”

Annoyed at the clear jab at his relationship with you, you throw one of your chips towards his head. It passes through his body and clatters on the floor behind him. Your fawn Blossom jumps down from their spot on the couch and goes to sniff it, thinking it to be food, but walks away with a disappointed strut when he realizes it isn’t anything edible.

“I didn’t tell them a damn thing,” you defensively clarify. “It was so obvious what was going on between us that they figured it all out before we made it official.”

He lets out a deep breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “That’s...I can’t say I’m too pleased to hear about that.”

“We won’t say anything,” Franky reassures. “Just make sure to put a sock on the door whenever you guys want some alone time.”

“Franky!” you hiss at him. “What the hell?!”

“What?” he looks at you, unbothered by your clear embarrassment. “Do you honestly expect us to think you guys went out just to look at a bunch of statues?”

“Oh, I’m sure they were looking at something,” Johnny smirks. “It wasn’t made of stone though.”

“I hate you guys,” you growl out, arms crossing and leaning back into your seat with an angry huff. You don’t mean it. He can see the tremble of your lips as you try to contain the urge to grin. “Even if we did end up rolling around in the sheets, I wouldn’t be yapping about it for all to hear, much less you guys!”

“What happens in the gargoyle graveyard stays in the gargoyle graveyard, eh?” Franky winks at both Malleus and you, nudging you with his elbow.

“Exactly!” you affirm, batting the large ghost away from you for some much-needed distance. “Now stop being so damn nosy.”

They cackle one last time and everyone seamlessly goes back to their ongoing game. Conversations like the one that just concluded are commonplace in your dormitory. Even if he contributed next to nothing to the discussion, he enjoys watching them interact. You come from a world where ghosts are hardly as overt as the ones in this world. Ghosts are said to entertain themselves by picking on the living, to the point that it can be fatal. Your ability to come up with witticisms at a moment's notice is something he enjoys seeing in action. He feels great satisfaction not only knowing that he has secured your love but to also see you in a state of tranquility and within your elements.

As Benji and you have a hushed conversation on the sidelines, he reaches over and places his hand on your knee beneath the table. You quietly reach over and put your hand over his, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb like it’s instinctual. Unfortunately, the heart-fluttering moment is ruined by the sudden buzzing of his phone. He has half a mind to ignore it, but when he gives the screen a glance he realizes ignoring the caller is not an option.

“I’ll be out for a moment,” he excuses himself once he sets his hand down and stands himself upright. “This shouldn’t take that long, hopefully.”

They all stop to look up at him inquisitively for half a second. In unison, they ask, “Sebek?”

“Sebek,” he affirms.

There are simultaneous displays of annoyance, pity, and silent wishes of good luck directed at him. He’s tempted to ask where all this contempt for the boy comes from, but then he remembers the many times Sebek barges his way into their dorm at the worst possible moments. It is either when everyone is beginning to settle down after a long day or in the middle of an important house project, the former more so than the latter now that the dorm is much more stable and in need of less restoration. Malleus learned the hard way how ill you and the ghosts will react when your peace is unwantedly interrupted and your space invaded by an unwanted guest.

Sebek is also quick to scrutinize whatever he sees out loud without a filter. You never seem to mind half of the time, merely rolling your eyes and moving past Sebek’s ill-meaning remarks as if you never heard them. As you are someone Malleus highly regards and holds close to his bosom, he hopes Sebek can one day set aside his strife with humankind and give you the due diligence you deserve.

...Though, he completely understands that reaching that point will take time. While you can endure Sebek to a certain degree, there are times where he, unfortunately, pushes you past that threshold and, without flinching, you will tell him to “Shut the fuck up”. Your words, not his.

“Young master!” Sebek's transmitted voice peaks and he has to half pull it away to give his pained eardrums some relief. “I was informed by Lord Lilia that you will be spending the night over at the Human’s dorm. Have you all your accommodations at their estate? If not, I will swiftly-”

“That won’t be necessary,” he half laughs at his enthusiasm over such a small task. “I have enough to keep me comfortable and well for a few days. Your offer is still very much appreciated.”

“Y-Yes, of course,” he stutters. “If there’s anything you should ever find a need for, please inform me at once! I will fulfill your every wishes no matter the hour!”

He’s enthusiastic and ready to act at a moment’s notice, even during the middle of a cold and dark hour. Malleus doesn’t necessarily dislike this part of Sebek, but he’s starting to understand why someone like you would find such subservience difficult to deal with. At any moment, Malleus could ask Sebek to grab some insignificant item of his and tread through the thick snow to deliver it to him, and the boy would do so with jubilation and utmost timeliness. You on the other hand wouldn’t be caught dead ordering someone to do something on your behalf when you believe you are well and capable of doing it yourself.

You don’t put expectations onto the backs of others, choosing to trust yourself first before anyone else. He knows now that it’s a result of the one instance where you expected something from someone, only to be thoroughly let down and left wondering if it was you who did something wrong.

Malleus cannot make up for the pain you’ve been subjected to, but he hopes that he can become the outlier in your life that surpasses any preconceived notions you may hold onto others. He hopes...No, he absolutely will be the one who brings you your well-earned and deserved joy and repose, just as you have done for him and continue to do so.

You love him, and he will ensure he is worthy of every last drop of your fidelity.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland imagines #malleus draconia #twst malleus #malleus x reader #malleus draconia x reader #twst writing #twst fanfic #fanfic: courtship #reader insert #reader insert fanfic #reader insert fanfiction #gender neutral reader #gender neutral pronouns #x reader

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readymades2002 · 6 months ago

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maybe i should talk this through a bit idk there's a lot on my mind right now. maybe it would help. mostly i am stressing about work. i'm also stressing for That Boy, he very bravely and coolly stood up for himself today and asked to step down as department head despite being more nervous about it than i've ever seen him, and it worked out well and it's gonna be alright but MAN he has been so miserable in this position for so long <///3 happy for him and mad it came to this in the first place, you know. god i love him. have i said that before. i fucking adore this guy

im also stressed for my+my department's sake, we've got a MASSIVE fucking exclusive sale coming up next week and the way corporate's talking about it is so so so scary. this job is already so grueling and our store is super high volume and this sale is a biiiiiig event theyre pushing. ive been doing this job for over a year now and i feel like a frog that doesn't know it's being boiled. this department is growing super fast and being pushed very hard and still is not treated like a valuable department in its own right and its very frustrating. i adore my three coworkers though. love them to BITS i have no idea what i'd do without them. i want to arrange a movie night or something to hang out sometime but i have no idea how that would work with us literally being scheduled to work alternately all the time. like a department. whatever...OH i have another coworker i want to take to lunch sometime too. god reaching out to people is so hard im trying to get better at it but its so scary and i cant imagine doing it EEP ! anyway

my financial straits are dire. need i say more...theyre not AS bad as they could be but i've been putting money aside to save for some things and then dealing with what i have left and god it is not a lot especially if you are also helping other people with their financial circumstances. phwew ! i love the economy

ummmmmm i want to ask Boy if he wants to go to a concert with me soon. we are going to a different concert in august but he hasn't been to one in ages and he is a Music Enjoyer (try not to swoon all at once) and he's been working too hard to do it recently and he Needs It. but: i am shy. and also we are both broke. stay tuned. no harm in bringing it up </3 i have to keep reminding myself we do enjoy each others company mutually and i need to stop waiting for him to make the first move all the time to Prove that im not weird for wanting to hang out lol

my birthday is. oh fuck my birthday is in almost one week now. ive been trying not to think about it but its also hard not to. a quarter of a century...the cybersale starts on the same day so at least that takes the pressure off celebrating a bit but i honestly don't know if i want to do anything for it. bad last few birthdays+unceasing guilt over being alive is a bad combo for celebrating birthday. but also last year i didnt do either of the things i wanted because i wanted to put others' schedules and wants and desires ahead of mine and that felt awful and so maybe even if its not something big ill treat myself to something. not sure what yet. maybe multiple things if i can swing it financially. im thinking like...some kind of piercing+stuff for getting into rollerskating? itd be nice to have a hobby since im so burnt out on art. i love being outside and i could get places so much easier...its hard not to go "what if im bad and get embarrassed or hurt and lose interest" but ive wanted to skate for so long and it would be so nice...

oh i still want a spine tattoo so bad. my body hurts so much and i know thats the most painful a tattoo gets but id be so hot

ummm idk i think thats where im at right now generally. not very interesting but much to ponder. there's a lot happening in my brain.......very distracting. anyhoo thanks for your time

hrmmmmm feeling restless </3

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big-tiddie-squad · 4 years ago

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I... I wrote smut.... help. What do I do now? @twancingyunhoe remember when you told me you were cringing the whole time? Yea. Same. 🥲 Also. I wrote almost 1300 WORDS. ME. THE PERSON WHO ABSOLUTELY HATES WRITING CAUSE GRAMMAR IS HARD AND WORDS ARE HARD AND ATTENTION SPANNING IS HARD! I'm impressed by all your writers out there. Bunch of Royals. 👏👏 yall are the realest.

Desire

Hongjoong watches as he puts the slice of mango into your mouth. God how he wanted to watch himself slide past your lips too. You'd been dating for a little over a month now and while he was happy with what you guys already have, lately... he's been desperate for more.

It's summer time and you've been traipsing around in shorts cut just below your ass. You've even been swimming at the dorm a lot as well. The small bikini was a delicious sight. He couldn't keep from masturbating occassionally, thinking about how your skin glistens when you climb out of the pool. The water droplets cascading and disappearing into your ample bosom.

"Mmm." You say, a little bit of the juice escapes the side of your mouth. Hongjoong, leans in and licks it off, without thinking. You smirk. You've been prancing around in front of him hoping to coax him into making a move.

About 2 weeks ago, you'd caught him masturbating. You couldn't take your eyes off of him. He penis was much larger than you could tell from the glimpses of him in his boxers. He was pumping it so furiously, hips jerking into his hand as well almost as if to simulate someone bouncing on his cock. You had made up your mind to leave until your heard him moan out your name. "Y/N. You're so tight.... please don't hold it in I wanna hear you when I make you cum."

His kiss brought you back to the present, you hadn't even realized that you had slipped your hand over his pants, until you felt the growing erection. Hongjoong, however noticed your hand immediately, a hum vibrated through your lips making you grip him through his pants. Hongjoong let out a growl, and it lit your nerves on fire. He slid his hand along your middle and skimmed the skin just below your breast.

"Is this okay? Are you sure you wan- uggh" your smile innocently and ease your grip on him. Even now he was looking after you. You kiss him slipping your free hand behind his head and into his hair. "Please Joong I need you. I'm craving you," you beg. You saw it then, that switch being thrown, and suddenly he wasn't the same Hongjoong anymore. Your shirt was suddenly over your head and on the floor. He leaned you back on the couch, where you'd both been eating mangos on not even a few moments ago. You can feel yourself clench when he grinds himself against you.

"Let's get you out of those shorts as well, hm?" His lips move just below your ear, causing flutters to stir deep in your belly. You drench at the thought of what comes next. He slips your shorts off and his fingers begin to trace your inner thigh. The tingles his fingers leave behind bring on a strong ache.

He kisses you, tongue brushing your lips making way for his entry. His fingers find the lips of your pussy and begins tracing circles around it all the while avoiding your throbbing little bud. Your body and hips attempt to follow as if trying to guide him to the sweet sensitive button.

He chuckles, "you want something, love?"

You whimper frustrated, "Please HongJoong, I need you I'm aching."

"Aching where love?" He asks knowingly. Those fingers continuing their painstakingly slow circles.

"Down there." You whine.

"Use your big girl words." His finger makes a direct line and then skips over your sensitive little nub and your body arches in an attempt to connect to his finger. "I need you to fuck me Hongjoong." You finally say. "When did this neediness begin, little love?"

"Please HongJoong..." you begin before he cuts you off. "If you tell me, I'll give you a reward." He leans down to pepper kisses along your jawline and down your neck, the never ending swirls along your pussy are torture. He nips and licks down your clavicle and to your breast before lightly biting your nipple causing you to moan out.

Suddenly, you blurt out, " I saw you masturbating," you blush " and it turned me on when you mentioned my name... I can't stop thinking about it. I want you to use me, please Hongjoong." You look up into his eyes the look of pure desire on your face makes him smile wide as he takes in what you told him. "Well, we'll have to touch base with that again later, for now my little love deserves her reward." With that he thrusts 2 fingers inside, groaning as the mix of your pussy clenching around his fingers and the sound of your moan cause his dick to harden further.

"This little kitty is gonna be mine when I'm through." He removes his fingers and brings them to your lips. You look him in the eye and take them into your mouth tasting the mess he caused. He hums, and removes his clothes with a purpose. His cock twitching the second the cool air hit it, almost like it had a mind of its own, and your mouth waters instantly. He inserts just the tip and leans in to lick your neck just below your ear. "Purr for me kitten."

He slides in and before he starts his agonizingly slow place. The teasing he'd done earlier had made you so wet he was slipping in with great ease. He rocks his hips til he finds his rhythm, hand making its way up your torso to your breast, and then to your neck. Just at the thought of him squeezing your neck had you clenching around him again, "Joong-" you let out in a breathy moan.

"What's the matter, is it too much?" His hips stop abruptly. "NO! Don't stop, faster." You let out in a frustrated groan, rolling your hips to continue for him. His eyes light up, "Oh?" He slows his hips and it's like he's fucking you in slow motion. "Joong please I need your co-" you start to beg and he suddenly lifts your leg and places it over his shoulder and slams home before holding himself deep inside you. "I do love having you underneath me, little love. My cock buried inside you and hearing that pretty voice of yours." He begins thrusting harder and at a faster pace than before and you immediately gasp out and attempt to clench your legs, as his cock reaches to stroke your g-spot. He squeezes his hand around your throat, tilting your head upwards and kissing you. You moan into his mouth and the pressure inside you is reaching its boiling point. It's almost unbearable as you writhe beneath him rocking your hips in time with his.

Your eyebrows knit together and Joong takes that as his cue. Hes shoves himself deep inside you and leans back a bit to slap your clit, forcing a monstrous orgasm to rip through you and causing your gaze to go cloudy and your legs to tighten against his sides. Seeing his lovely little kitten beneath him squirming through her climax proved too much for him, and he pulls out as hot jets of cum spurt out onto your stomach.

Hongjoong leans all the way back breathing heavily, admiring his art along your beautiful body. You watch him as well, smiling as you wipe some of it up with your fingers and pace it on your tongue before swallowing it. Hongjoongs eyes darken and you notice his cock hardening once again. "Don't think your finished after that little show. We've got at least one more round, little love." "Shouldnt we go to the bedroom? What if the guys come home and see us?" You say reaching for his cock and stroking it.

"Then they can watch." He smirks.

#ateez hongjoong #hongjoong #hongjoong smut #ateez fic #ateez smut #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #im not a writer

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wannajointhecrabcult · 5 years ago

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Masks and Music

(Part 1)

Part 2

I didn't think that my last post would've gotten ANY notes at all, so imagine my surprise when I find out that people actually liked it. After that suprise I thought why not and make another one so here we go! This is a Miraculous/Batfam crossover.

Imagine that Damian gets sent to Paris because the fam doesn't want him to become an emotionally constipated sad boi like Bruce and think that a change in scenery would help.

They don't know about the whole Hawkmoth situation because SOMEONE from the justice league decided that the while thing was a prank DESPITE that it was an ENTIRE CITY calling instead of a single person.

Like, aren't you guys supposed to be the world's greatest heros or something?

Who hired you?

Damian being the grumpy lil kid that he is holds a grudge and decides to not accept any calls or video chats from his family or tell them about Hawkmoth because that's what you get when you send someone across the world against their will.

(and because of plot convenience shhh)

Anyways, Damian goes to school as instantly adds Lila onto his mental list of people he needs to get rid of.

I mean, seriously, he's only been is the room for what, 15 seconds and he's already getting a migraine?

Great. Juusssttt great.

He sits in the back of the class with what seems to be the only person with brain cells in this room.

The dark haired girl just looks over and sees the disgust at Lila written all over his face and gives him a silent empathetic nod.

'This is unfortunately normal here.' she tries to convey through the small action.

He just nods back to show his understanding before turning around to observe the others.

In a few minutes Ms. Bustier walks in the room and asks him to introduce himself to the class.

It looks like the teacher never told the class that they were getting a new student because they all have to do double takes when they realize that there's a new face in the room.

He gives them the bare basics, telling them that his name is Damian Grayson, he's from America, and that he doesn't want any of them to talk to him before sitting down.

Clearly the teacher wanted him to say more or scold him for being so rude but a glare shut her up.

Later during a break period Lila tries to flirt with him and brags all about how she's met so many different celebrities and her achievements.

He tells her off and tries to move away but her nails are digging into his arms as she tries to convince him that he should stay away from Marinette.

Before he can maim her, the dark haired girl comes out from behind him and starts spraying Lila down like an unruly cat with some sort of strong smelling liquid from a spray bottle.

Lila screeches and stomps away.

When he turns to his hero the girl explains.

"It's a mixture of shredded lemon, expired maple syrup, vinegar, and pomegranate juice. I call it People Repellant but Thot Begone works too. Oh, and I'm Marinette by the way."

He eyes her hand before shaking it.

"Damian, though I assume you already know that. Can I get some of that by the way? I know a couple insufferable annoyances that would benefit from a spray down.

Marinette just blinks for a second before she bursts out laughing and that was the start of a great friendship.

Together they:

Make fun of Lila in the back of class.

Help eachother with homework (they only cheat off eachother when they REALLY need help)

Prank Lila in odd ways (Hey, just because she found hundreds of furbies hidden around her house that turn on one by one in the middle of the night effectively scaring the crap out of her when she's trying to sleep doesn't mean that it's their fault. She had it coming.)

Break a couple laws (shhhhhhh. Those toy stores don't need those furbies anyways).

Dare eachother over stupid things (they still insist that the cereal incident was caused by the other).

And overall become closer as friends.

They bring out the overdramatic chaotic gremlin child in eachother.

One time when Damian goes over to Marinette's place to work on a project he finds her singing a Disney song to herself on her balcony.

This isn't the first time they've caught eachother singing.

One time Marinette caught Damian in the art room at school humming one of the many annoyingly cheesy and catchy songs that Dick likes to listen to.

Despite him explaining the embarrassing situation to her she still teased him for weeks after.

He'll never get to live it down.

Damian shakes his head to get rid of the flashback when a devious smirk spreads across his face as a revenge plan comes to mind.

After carefully placing his stuff on the floor he sneakily makes his way across the space until he's right behind her.

That's when he joins in.

Screaming at the top of his lungs at first, effectively giving her a mini heart attack before eventually quieting down to a normal singing volume.

She glares at him, annoyed by his loud and obnoxious entrance before she starts singing again.

They eventually end up full Disney movie dramatically performing around her balcony with dance moves and over dramatic acting.

Is it bad that actual birds and other animals are appearing and joining in?

Damian totally kept one of the pigeons.

He named it Dolores.

(He later trained Dolores to attack Rossi on sight.)

When they're finished they end up on the floor out of breath.

They stay like that for a few minutes before Damian sits up.

"That. That was fun. I don't think I've actually ever sang before."

Marinette jolts up in suprise and turns to face him.

"Really? I never would've guessed. You have a really nice singing voice."

He would deny till his dying breath that he blushed when she said that but he covers it up with a smirk.

"Well I guess that's just because yours is so terrible in comparison."

He squawks when she jabs a finger in his side.

"Pshh. As if. Besides, my singing skills can't be worse then your gaming skills." She challenges with a cheeky smile.

"ExCuSe mE?!"

And that's how they spend the rest of the day playing video games, leaving the unfinished project to be completed on a later day.

Good thing it isn't due until 2 weeks time.

After a couple of hours playing video games, creating many possible Lila murder plans, eating pastries, and joking around, it's time for him to leave.

As Damian left for his place he got a feeling that something big was gonna happen.

Marinette also got the feeling but they both ignored it.

Little did they know, someone just happened to walk by and starstruck by the amazing singing they recorded the performance before posting it on the internet.

Imagine the duo's suprise when they wake up the next day to find themselves trending on the internet.

Luckily the video quality was pretty trash so their faces weren't identifiable but the audio was loud and clear.

The world was talking about the cute couple singing to their hearts desire on a balcony. If that's not cliche and adorable then the world doesn't know what is.

The assumption about their relationship status left them looking like tomatos but that didn't stop them from wonder why they didn't notice a creep recording them.

Damn Disney songs and their unnatural ability to distract people.

Of course Lila took advantage of the rising popularity of the video and talked about how she taught the two people in the video how to sing and gave them tips.

The two just walked past the idiot squad and sat down in their seats, making a mental note to come up with a prank later, when the akuma alarms came on.

They fall into their normal routine of Marinette running out to find a place to transform as Damian covers for her.

Oops did I forget to mention that Damian found out her identity because she crashed through his window in the middle of the night still transformed and asked him what's the answer to question 24 in their science homework because she just defeated an akuma by herself and was running on 20 minutes of sleep?

My bad.

Anyways it turns out today was the day Marinette had officially had enough of Chat's bullcrap.

It was gonna be a normal akuma situation.

Ladybug trying to fight the poor butterfly victim while chat noir either doesn't show up, tries to do everything on his own to impress her and ruins the whole plan, or just watches and complains about how she needs to get over her denial and date him BUT

This time he decided to actively try to push her in the akuma's way therefore putting her in SO MUCH MORE DANGER than she was already in.

Now she had to dodge out of the akuma's way AND CHAT'S!

WhAt ThE fUdGe?!?!

You think possibly killing Ladybug and trying to force her to beg for you to save her is gonna make her like you?!?

Just how hard did you hit your head when Gabriel dropped you on the floor when you were 2?

After the akuma was eventually defeated Ladybug told Chat to meet her on an abandoned rooftop that night because they needed to talk.

Chat being the oblivious person that he is (I swear I don't actually hate chat noir, this is for the plot I'm sorry) thought that it was for a love confession and became overly smug before leaving.

Making sure that he isn't following her, Marinette meets up with Damian at his place (school's over because of the attack) and asks him to help.

Later that day when the two miraculous holders meet up Ladybug distracts the Catboy by flirting with him while Damian uses his ninja skills for something other than sneaking up on her and giving Marinette mini heart attacks.

From behind he quickly hits a pressure point causing the other boy to fall unconscious.

Using her ALMIGHTY GUARDIAN OF THE MIRACULOUS powers, Ladybug takes Adrien's ring away and places a spell on him that makes it so he will never be able to use another miraculous ever again.

After they take Adrien home Marinette gives Damian the ring and Night Prowler is born.

He promises to do everything in his power to make sure that Selina and his family doesn't find out for the sake of his pride.

We'll see how that goes.

Night Prowler first officially appeared during an akuma named 'Break Dancer'.

Ironically, she was a ballerina that had to drop out of the finals in a competition because she broke her right leg the day before the show.

She could turn civilians into back up dancers and forced them to perform against their will.

They also worked as minions who would attack the duo for her while she stayed a safe distance away.

It was pretty obvious that the akumatized item was the music box held inside the bag that Break Dancer had slung around her shoulders but the real question was how could they get to it without becoming attacked by the backup dancer or becoming one of them.

Luckily (eheheh), a car with an open window playing music just happened to pass by before driving off.

Before it drove off, the music coming from the car was loud enough to play over the music box which caused some of the minions to become free again and run off.

Ladybug called her lucky charm and a Bobby pin landed in her hand.

As she looked around she noticed a store a couple blocks away that had a couple radios.

Unfortunately, the store was locked and closed.

Fortunately, she knew how to pick locks and a Bobby pin did come from her lucky charm soooo......

Who is she to deny literal gods.

They break into the store and grab a radio, and a speaker and rush over to where the akuma was causing chaos.

They turn on the radio, connect the speaker and turn the volume on as loud as it can go before flipping through the stations for a good song.

If they're gonna fight with music in the background they're gonna be picky about it and wont settle for anything other than epic.

While fighting they eventually get swept up in the music and end up singing along.

It's nothing less than full on majestic.

When the fight is over and the akuma is purified they find out that someone recorded it and posted it on the internet as well.

Now everyone knows that the beloved hero of Paris and her new partner were the two people singing on that balcony.

Ummmmm.....

Good thing that the video quality was trash right?

If it weren't for that their identities would've been busted the moment they started singing in hero form.

Luckily there aren't many people other than Damian that know what Marinette's singing voice sounds like so they're okay.

Well.... They WERE okay,

Until a certain rockstar and his agent came across the two videos and put two and two together.

So now King Sting (bee!jagged) and Peridot (turtle!penny) have joined the team.

Poor Penny, now she has to deal with two gremlin children and a some sort of bizarre man-child.

The next akuma confused the group quite a bit.

He didn't really do anything but sit on a rooftop waiting for the miracle team to show up.

They were all suspicious of him at first but when they did reveal themselves to him he explained his situation.

He was akumatized because his favorite rock band broke up but he didn't really want to take their miraculouses away.

He just asked if they could perform another song for him and he would give his akumatized item to them.

They all sorta looked at eachother and collectively went 'screw it why not' and sang another song.

If they were great before, they are absolutely AMAZING now.

Well that's what happens when you add a famous rockstar to a team of singing superheros I guess.

The akuma was blown away and true to his word handed over the rolled up picture in his pocket and was purified despite of Hawkmoth's nagging.

Haha screw you Hawky.

This time the ordeal was recorded by a news station and the 'hand over the akuma in exchange for a song' thing became a trend.

There were still normal akuma's that didn't follow follow it but those were far flung between.

It seems like Hawkmoth was getting annoyed by this so there started being less akuma attacks over the months.

Because of this some people were actively trying to get upset to attract one of the purple butterflies.

They traded one good thing for another I guess.

To stop that from happening the group started performing in public as superheros during concerts and festivals.

Because of this they became quite well known outside of Paris as well.

Is it ironic that more people know them as a band rather than a superhero team now?

When Marinette learned that they could change what their superhero costumes looked like if they put enough will into it she squealed.

Marinette designs superhero performance costumes for them whenever they have a festival to play at.

Whenever asked about their outfits they always reply with MDC.

Marinette's business gets really popular after that.

And since no one knows who MDC really is, she doesn't have to worry about the whole "Oh no me and my family are gonna be in danger!" thing

It's a win win!

Overtime they basically become a second (or third for some people) family to eachother.

Damian becomes more 'kid like' and open to others,

Marinette becomes more confident and overall happier,

Jagged gets to hang out with his awesome niece and her 'maybe more than just a friend',

And Penny gets a new outlet for stress and has so many more crazy stories to tell people.

One day while she's in the living room on the sofa watching 'The AristoCats' Damian just barges into the room and dramatically flops over onto of her.

He just lays there with his head in her lap and the rest of his body sprawled on the couch.

After everything that has happened this is normal for them now.

Without asking any questions or talking at all they just watch the movie together with the occasional remark or quip between them.

Around half way through the movie Jagged kicks down the door, effectively scaring the crap out of the two teens, while Penny follows behind him with an apologetic look on her face.

At first Jagged was yelling about something having to do with'Fang' and 'Dragon' and 'Miraculous' but after taking in the domestic atmosphere of the room he just sits down on the floor and joins in on watching the movie.

Penny, shaking her head in both amusement and exasperation, sits down on another chair and does the same.

While combing through Damian's hair with her fingers Marinette looks around the room.

'My life can't get any more complicated, can it?'

Oh boy, she just jinxed it.

This is just an idea I've had bouncing around in my head for awhile and I couldn't resist the urge to write it out. I AM planning on making a part 2 so if you like this keep an eye out for that. I'm by no means a fast writer though so it will take a while. But then again not many people will probably read this soo.... Yeah.

#maribat #maridami #miraculous x dc #daminette #Miraculous crossover #damian x marinette #i still cant believe that people actually liked my last post omg #people are so supportive in this fandom #masks and music

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