#You fuck around you find out no excuses no get out of jail free cards

[fetusbaconegg]

Okay I'm looking trough all those screenshots and I'm sorry but.

They make you look like a huge asshole? I'm not sure if the ones in th reblogs are snippets of the conversation that were specifically picked out to make you look bad but I have to be honest. I'm not really seeing anything that falls in line with what you are saying? From what I can see from the screenshots you seem to have been kicked because you wanted to allow content that the rest of the mod team was against(and if what those people are saying is correct then for good reason.) And instead of accepting that the clear majority of the team had decided against it you proceeded to keep arguing?

Also those images of 'I'm a minor and neurodivergent' really don't help you look like the better side here. It honestly just makes it seems like you don't have any valid arguments. I don't see any harassment at all in these screenshots. Maybe at most some messages that were worded rather rudely but compared to how you were writing your messages it just seems like that is because it was a full-blown argument and emotions were high.

I just really cannot see any reason to believe you were in the right here?

I might be missing some important context tho, I don't have a discord so I'm not in the server.

I dont care if you think I'm an asshole since you could very well be one of the mods still harassing me through here because you didnt have enough through discord not to mention I don't owe kindness to people harassing me.

and no I was kicked because I said that banning content based on their preferences wasn't exactly a good idea since it wasn't based on anyone's safety but what they personally liked or didn't. Which doesn't really help anyone other than them.

also I don't care about your feelings sorry you were an asshole and no amount of trauma is gonna justify that nor will being minor or neurodivergent I myself am autistic and that isn't an excuse to be asswipe pal.

also I don't care about the opinion of someone who was such a coward they had to do this on anon because they didn't have enough on discord, come say it to my face or better yet give your opinion when people ask you for it, how about that?

and yeah right, and I'm the king of England 🙄

[blitzor0de0]

The jealous St Peter prompt caught my eye. Especially the idea of him wrapping his wings around redeemed!reader, so I have a suggestion, instead of jealous St Peter, how about protective St Peter?

Maybe Lute confronts redeemed!reader and it gets ugly? The confrontation possible brings up redeemed!reader's pstd, maybe even making them think they were going to be killed again, only for St Peter to appear with Sera/Emily, and he just wraps his wings around them, blocking out the chaos around them, comforting them with soft words and kisses.

I have no excuse for not putting this out sooner I've just been refixating on obey me </3 but this was rlly fun to write despite writers block eating my ass

listened to way too much blur and gorillaz doing this

cw: ptsd, fluffy, I forgot how to write mid way through, reader is always going through it aren't they, biblical Peter, reader confesses finally, kiss!!! Emily cucking lowkey

word count: 1.5k

part 1 part 2 part 3

Safe & Sound (Saint Peter x Redeemed!Reader)

You were just minding your business, you swear you were! Delivering a parcel to Emily. But it wasn't supposed to go like this??

Backed into a wall in the Plaza, the package clutched to your chest. Your mind was swirling with emotions as your heartbeat rapidly increased, finding it harder to breathe.

Former lieutenant of the exorcists, highly feared amongst sinners, yet highly respected amongst the blind sighted angels. You had already known Heaven was a lie at that first meeting, seeing how all the higher ups hadn't a clue about the exorcisms down in Hell. If angels could fall regardless of their ‘sin’ why wouldn't a sinner be able to redeem themselves?

The logic of Adam and Lute was incredibly flawed, and since yours and Pentious’ arrival in Heaven, you had felt a murderous gaze upon you each time you left your home.

It wasn't difficult to tell it was Lute, but since Adam's death you could tell she was a little lonely despite trying to avoid her gaze at every chance you got. She was always quite outspoken in the few times you met her, but the quietness of the Plaza, and Heaven in general after Adam's death.. The silence was borderline deafening.

But today, Lute must've decided enough was enough, if she couldn't kill you, she would gladly find a way to send you back to Hell.

“You filthy scum.” She scowled, venom lacing her words. She wasn't secretive about this confrontation either, causing a small crowd to quickly appear around the two of you, mimicking a petty school fight.

But this wasn't a fight, it was a one sided dispute.

You couldn't bear to face Lute, her mask being too much of a trigger to stare at for too long, especially in a situation such as this. You opted for clenching your eyes shut, but this only infuriated the angel more.

“I have lost EVERYTHING because of you sinners… Adam. My job. My subordinates. My fucking arm. How did you do it, huh? You and that snake you both made it up here. What sort of magic did Lucifer pull, huh?”

You felt your mind spin, knees going weak as you fought to keep yourself upright, lip quivering as tears threatened to spill as you gained the courage to speak.

“..He didn't do anything. It was just as Charlie told you all… It's just rehabilitation, Sir Pentious sacrificed himself for us all, I just wanted to better my soul..” God you were about to cry, your voice was barely above a whisper.

“Bullshit.” Before Lute could threaten you further, some gasps and whispers emerged from the audience. You dared open your eyes, peering behind the Executioner to see the commotion, only to be faced with the two Serafim parting the crowd.

You gasped, causing Lute to finally turn around. With Adam gone, Lute didn't really get a ‘get out of jail free’ card, so the growing look of fear upon her features was evident.

Sera was quick to whisk Lute away as Emily held your arms gently as all you could do was crumble to the ground, tears finally being free to fall.

You couldn't exactly understand all what Emily was saying, everything seemed like ringing in your ears, but you appreciated Emily's attempt to ground you.

“Oh, Peter there you are!” Emily gasped, turning to face the angel who had a worried expression upon his face.

The ever so smiley angel for once held a look of disgust towards the crowd still whispering and murmuring about your fragile state.

“I got here as soon as I could.. Are they okay??” He seemed panicked, he'd never been in a situation like this, especially with someone he cared so much for. He couldn't think straight.

“I'm not sure..” The Serafim replied, “They haven't responded to me once, I'm not even sure if they can hear me at all.. You two are..” She hesitated, “close, you should deal with them, I'll see what I can do about the crowd..” She frowned, rubbing Peter’s shoulder comfortingly before grabbing the parcel and approaching the crowd.

Peter on the other hand unveiled his wings without a second thought, shielding you from the looks and whispers. Giving you a little bit of privacy was the least he could do right now.

“Hey.” He spoke softly, almost in a cooing manner, caressing your face as if you were made of porcelain.

In a room of a thousand people, you would be able to recognise every aspect of Peter’s being. His voice, his scent, his touch.. Everything. With the delicate caress upon your cheek, you'd be foolish to not know who it was, even in such a fragile state.

Still, you couldn't bear to look up at him. Though he had seen you in such a state before, your consciousness of the situation as opposed to your exhaustion from the previous time weighed on your shoulders.

To acknowledge his presence, you simply leaned into his touch. Your ears were still ringing, probably for the better since the whispers and chatter amongst the slowly dispersing crowd weren't doing you any favours.

Peter gently lifted your head up to face him, a soft, yet pained smile upon his face. You wanted to look away so desperately, but the way he looked at you so tenderly, you couldn't stand to pull your gaze away. A shaky “I'm sorry..” left your lips before you could realise it.

Peter gained a small sense of déjà vu from that, you always did seem to apologise for things that weren't even remotely your fault.

“Don't be silly. It's not your fault. You're safe now..Okay?” You nodded slowly, taking his words in. “Lute’s being dealt with by Sera and,” He glanced behind him “everyone else is more or less gone. You wanna stay here or move somewhere else?” Just at the thought of moving, an ache spread through your legs, the weakness growing once again.

“Here please.” You replied, reaching up to turn Peter's face towards yours, you needed his attention, his gaze, his essence. He smiled, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your nose.

“I thought she was going to kill me..” You murmured, finally regaining some stability. “I.. I couldn't do it all over again.. I didn't exactly think there was an afterlife in the first place.. let alone the possibility of dying twice.. I don't think God would approve of me dying a third time.. right?”

Peter grew silent, what could he possibly say to that. To be frank, when he was alive, he had a tumultuous relationship with his belief. Of course he believed in Jesus’ word, but he was also one of the first to betray him. Being disowned from Heaven before he had even passed. How he managed to get up there and still be held in such high regards by the Lord still surprised him centuries later.

Noticing his prolonged silence your eyes widened slightly, “That was a joke, I swear.. Peter..?”

Shaking his head he snapped out of his thoughts, “Oh! Of course it was, right!.. Either way, I think I'd be able to convince God to keep you around, I am an esteemed patron saint after all!” He winked.

After such a traumatic experience, you had cracked your first smile of the day which only caused Peter to mirror a smile right back at you.

“I feel like I'm always thanking you for looking out for me. You're so pure of heart, it's no wonder I fell for you-” You paused, realising what you said.

You and Peter had shared many intimate moments together, kissed on many occasions and even slept in the same bed together but you two had never established any actual feelings or relationship, until now it seems.

You panicked “Wait Pe-”

“I love you too.” He cut you off, stars in his eyes. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders as he finally confessed.

Oh.

Your shoulders relaxed as you breathed a sigh of relief. “Cool.. Wait! No! Erm I love you, oh I'm such a mess just kiss me.”

With a laugh, Peter gladly obliged, pressing a small teasing kiss to your lips before indulging in all his sins with an intimate kiss.

You wanted to savour this moment forever, Peter's hands cupped your cheeks as he pulled you impossibly close, the scent of his lightly floral cologne infiltrating your senses, quickly changing from intimacy to desperation — fearing as if this kiss may be your last.

Neither of you wanted to part, continuously pulling away for a split second before either one of you pulled the other in for ‘just one more’.

Though, the unfortunate parting would come from an awkward throat clear from the younger serafim.

“Um..Guys.. Super! Happy for you two but.. You're still in public..” Emily smiled down at the two of you.

Flushed and breathless, the two of you blinked up towards her before her words finally dawned on you.

“Oh.. Oh my, Emily I'm so sorry. Um!! Peter let's go!” You rushed to stand, pulling Peter up with you who’s uniform looked a little dishevelled, bowtie lopsided as well as some hair stuck to his forehead. He was both literally and figuratively on Cloud 9.

Emily could only giggle at the sight of Peter, “I'm glad you're feeling better, have fun you two lovebirds.” She called out as you and your now boyfriendddddd departed.

[bittyfromquotev]

Didn't want email notifications but sure here we go. I can't tell if you're being willfully ignorant or not, but I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt. Also from looking at your responses, just wanted to let you know that was 3 different people on anon there. I was the one telling you "probably" is still an accusation. Those other two were not me, though I'm pretty sure the anon who used bold italics was likely the person who first send you the dot points ask after the rude quotev anon.

If you're old enough to pull the "I'm a minor" card then you're old enough to know what you've done is wrong or questionable. I've seen this a couple times where you throw your minor status around where it's completely irrelevant. Being a minor isn't a get out of jail free card in case you didn't know.

You tend to assume every criticism is "assuming your intentions" or aren't valid because they "don't know you". That doesn't mean anything when your actions have consequences and you post them publicly for people to make judgements on. You are on social media, nothing you do here is ever truly private and any expectation that people won't view your blog is naïve.

Your behavior is attention seeking. You say you don't want to be in the drama, but you keep talking about it and stirring the pot and then get upset when you're inevitably brought back into the drama. You say things in a way that implies you want the gore anons to harass you. This is attention seeking behavior and it doesn't even have to be intentional. This is not me saying you as a person are an attention seeker, it is me saying that the things you say display attention seeking behaviors. There is a difference. I also find it concerning that you are, even perhaps jokingly, inviting a harassment group to do the same to you.

"Start telling them 'like a teach(er) or parent' how to act. No one likes a social dictator." To that anon? Way to completely not read what I said at all. I said that just because you're a minor doesn't mean people can't call you out for shit, *like teachers and parents do* as an example. You wouldn't pull the minor card on them, would you? No, because it means and accomplishes nothing other than telling someone you're young.

Not everyone who is rude or doesn't agree with your beliefs or actions is a gore anon or supporter. You do not deserve to be harassed, no one does. Which is why you shouldn't throw accusations like that around lightly. It's invalidating to the people who actually had to suffer from them. It dilutes the problem and makes it harder to actually know who the gore anons target and how they act because suddenly everyone is a gore anon or supports them. There are 3 main gore anons that have identified themselves, and they all have distinct ways of typing, which is how people have started to recognize some people in the group.

You constantly say not to assume your intentions, well what about you? Did you not also assume the intentions of people? That sort of thing is why this drama got started in the first place, because people *assumed the intentions* of people. To clarify, this *is not me saying this is your fault*. Let that not be twisted. I am talking about the general actions of several individuals throughout all this drama.

Anyway, hope the rest of your week goes well!

Thank you for letting me know that it was multiple people. Let’s go over this again.

As I explained, I did not pull the “I’m a minor” card to get out of stuff. I said it because I didn’t know what to say to the anon that was initially rude as fuck. I’m not trying to excuse ANYTHING with being a minor.

You seem to only be looking at this specific trend of asks, which mind you, is basically OPENLY agreeing with someone telling me to get the fuck of the Internet. I know my actions have consequences. I’m not saying people’s criticisms aren’t valid, though I can see where you’re coming from. I’m just saying that I didn’t ask for criticisms on my actions. Judge me all you want, I just don’t want people telling me stuff when I didn’t ask for advice/criticism.

This is actually something I can give you credit for. However, the Gore Anons themselves haven’t got near me, but they’ve gone near my friends. I do that because I find it ridiculous how they won’t talk to ME but will shit on my friends. Of course, I’m not saying that my friends suffering is funny, I’m just saying that I’m a little baffled as to why they haven’t come to me after so long of me defending my friends and antagonizing the Gore Anons.

Dude idek what you want me to say here. We’re just saying that I have not asked for criticism from a stranger. And I already explained the minor card thing in point 1.

Okay you got me there. That comment was unnecessary. See how I’m taking accountability here? Yeah.

Again, this has only happened once or twice. If you’d look at my ask tag, you’d see that a few time I state that I TRY MY BEST not to assume people’s intentions. I respond to things that I have done with something, then follow it with “it’s not an excuse but this is happening”. Plus, if I ever DO assume people’s intentions, it’s because of what their intentions have been towards my friends and strangers in the past.

I did not invite random, unsolicited criticism from strangers. If I wanted criticism, I would have just said “okay” and moved on.

Also, how am I just NOT SUPPOSED TO BE PISSED when I get ROPED INTO DRAMA that doesn’t even have to do with me!

I’m not gonna block you unless you send another ask like this. I hope you have a good rest of your week as well/gen

EDIT: I also think that if I was really undermining victims (which I’m not) then my friends who are/were victims would have either blocked me or called me out on it. Neither has happened.

[seeyouonsaturn]

Oh hell yeah these two have such a fun dynamic

@iholli

I headcanon that Darkwing isn’t very well-liked by the general population of high society cogged bots/the bots he spends time around. Sure, he’s a popular contender in the Iacon 5000 because of his skill, nobody is denying that he's fast and powerful, but personality wise, anyone that’s spent longer than a couple of minutes around him realizes he’s not actually that great to hang out with. Why do you think he’s in the mines?

My boss at my former workplace was like that. It was sort of an open secret that the reason he kept getting promoted until he wound up the warehouse supervisor was because nobody wanted him on their team, so they kept giving him new jobs to get rid of him. That’s how Darkwing got his supervisor job. Let the miners deal with his ass.

Skyline knows him long before ever meeting D-16 and Orion. The only reason he’s not on the High Guard himself is because their commander said Absolutely Not, otherwise I just know Mr. Power Trip Who Thinks He’s Hot Shit wanted to be on the team. I like to think him and Skyline formally met during tryouts - she got the position, he did not. And he's always going to be a bit bitter about that. Skyline is far younger than him, inexperienced and a bit reckless. Sure, she's talented, but so is he. Darkwing took that personally.

Even so, they keep having to deal with each other at events because he is a pretty high standing bot, and even outside of the one-sided rivalry, Skyline does not vibe with him at all.  When she finds out he’s D-16 and Orion’s supervisor, the first thing she does is give her condolences.

Now to the fun part though: Skyline outranks him. He has to do what she tells him, whether he likes it or not. She’s saved the boys’ butts on more than one occasion by giving some excuse about having “borrowed them for some task” to explain why they didn’t show up for work or something similar. It pisses Darkwing off to no end, because the lack of labor reflects badly on him, but there’s nothing he can actually do about it beside complain. He can’t even punish them because their absence was sanctioned by the High Guard. And if he tries to anyway, they’ll tell her, and she’ll come tear him a new one. It’s definitely happened so many times that by some point he starts getting very suspicious, and Skyline keeps asking the boys to stop using her as a get out of jail free card, but Orion is regrettably insane (affectionate) and could never waste this opportunity he’s been handed to do whatever the fuck he wants with no consequences.

Darkwing is so onto them. Nobody believes him though. He doesn’t have any proof, and a member of the High Guard being in cahoots with some miners is a ridiculous concept. No wonder he has it fucking out for those two guys in particular.

I don't really know much about Darkwing in other media to fully know what exactly happens post-movie canon, but considering he's usually a Decepticon, I'm imagining the beginnings of that to be the funniest conversation ever.

Skyline still outranks him, but it's worse now. She's officially conjunxed to the little miner (HE KNEW IT!!!) except, that's Megatron now, who is terrifying and also very much the boss of him, so what's he gonna do about it? He just has to live like this now.

Darkwing is not having a good time.

[someweirdowriting]

☆— Sonya has a crush

Claudine sighs and sinks to the ground. She pulls her knees up to her chest and sighs again. A moment of silenced passes before she (once again) sighs.

For a moment, Sonya debates if going to prison for murder is actually so bad. Sure, prison would suck, but she's rich and doesn't have to worry about jobs or money.

Don't rich people have some kind of get-out-of-jail-free card?

Then, Claudine sighs again.

Manslaughter it is, Sonya thinks and spins her chair around.

"What?" Her tone of voice is frustrated. She is just one sigh away from punching Claudine in the face.

"I'm bored," the brunette whines. "When did you start doing homework, anway. Aren't you the one who always brags about how she doesn't have to do any homework ever because school is so easy?"

Well, that is true. Sonya glances back at the essay she is writing. Why is she doing homework?

Her brown eyes once again find the milk chocolate skinned girl sitting on the ground, a pout on her lips. Claudine looks like she dressed up. She's wearing a white dress with a pink floral pattern, a ribbon in her hair.

"Salyor-" Sonya starts but stops herself. It would just sound stupid to blame Saylor for her decision to do her work. She never listens to her either.

Claudine raises her eyebrow. She seems to notice how stupid that excuse sounds too.

"Saylor, what?" She asks, amused. "When did you start listening to her, Son?"

The blond looks to the side. Her mind is running a hundred miles per hour, trying to find an excuse. Still, she can't find one.

She takes in a deep breath, time to confess something she didn't want to have to. "...I was kind of hoping to join the others when they discuss their homework." Her confession is quiet, a blush tainting her cheeks.

Her friend frowns again. Claudine is quiet for a moment, seemingly thinking about Sonya's words. "Oh." She gasps, a big smile on her face. "I was right!"

Sonya blushes, her entire face turning a cherry red. "Shut up!"

Abruptly, Claudine jumps up. Her face painted by a giant smirk. "Sonya has a crush! Sonya has a crush!" She sings while running through the room.

The blond whimpers embarrassed, then the door is pushed open right into Claudine. Both the person opening the door, and Claudine make a surprised sound.

"Oh, fuck," the person is revealed to be Aurore. Her eyes wide as she enters the room. "You good, Claude?"

"Karma." Sonya smirks. Claudine glares at her before looking back at Rory.

"Yeah, I'm good," she says dismissively while rubbing her side. "I didn't know you were coming over, Rory. Could've warned us."

Rory hums and glances to the side. "I wasn't planning on it. I came back to the dorm and found Saylor and Eden all cozy-" She rolls her eyes. "-I didn't want to interrupt."

Sonya's face scrunches up in disgust. "Ew."

— masterlist ☆!!

[f1shbonez]

"...Look, I'm sorry. I- I don't know what came over me. I was so excited about how well we aced that job, I, uh. I got caught up in the moment, and I -"

When had Ekko last sounded this pathetic? Not for some while. Weeks? Months? Years? Ever? It had to be bad if he was hanging his head like that. It had to be bad for how different his voice sounded; all wavery and dumb and uncertain. The scene was enough to earn back a shred of Jinx’s feigned split attention. Unnaturally still, she listened, watching Ekko from the corner of her eye. 

"- I got carried away."

Jinx’s lips twitched in a blank ghost of a smile. She’d had plenty of time to think on Ekko’s stunt and get over it. Plenty! Talking to Scarface had helped a bit too. So how come Ekko’s stupid words stung all of a sudden? 

What was he trying to say? It felt like he was beating around the bush. Oooooh he TOTALLY was. Did he think she was stupid? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe that was why he could hardly look at her. An ugly, wounded anger seethed quietly in Jinx’s chest. Why did he have to be so confusing about stuff?

I REALLY like you. In the gross way. And that’s a mistake. 

I care about you and it embarrasses me. 

YOU’RE the mistake. 

That was what he was trying to say. Plain as day. It was obvious. Did he think it was gonna come as a surprise? 

Sorry Jinx! But my fuzzy little conscience and abnormally large friend group think you’re crazy, so we’re gonna hafta pump the breaks on everything forever!

She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to throw something or surrender to the prickle at the corner of her eyes. 

"I fucked up, and then I panicked about it like a dumbass immediately afterwards. That wasn't cool of me. Sorry for making things all weird and awkward between us. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. It won’t happen again."

Fucked up?

A flash of hurt flooded Jinx’s face. 

Somewhere in the back of her head a voice began to jeer and snicker.  

Fuck up.

Fuck up. 

Fuck up!

Fuck up!

It won’t happen again. 

What did that mean?

How could Ekko be sorry for making things weird and uncomfortable when he was STILL making things weird and uncomfortable?!

Were things going to be different now? 

Childlike confusion and growing anxiety etched themselves across Jinx’s face. It felt like with every word Ekko was building a bridge between them, severing their connection. No. No no no no. 

I didn’t do anything!

I didn’t do anything wrong!

Scar hadn’t said anything about this! This apology was the worst! She didn’t want it! How come Ekko got to be the Bad Guy and also call the shots? Totally unfair. Faster than she could find the words the situation was slipping away, out of her control. Who did she have if Ekko abandoned her now? And what WAS with this stupid business of doing great at EVERYTHING and being punished for it?!

Anger and fear writhed in the pit of her chest. 

Stop talking. 

Stop it.

Stop talking! STOP talking! I SAID STOP. 

“You were gonna undo it.” The words were dangerously soft.

That had been the kicker. The watch. The tangible wave of panic when Ekko knew he’d lost his window. Somehow, amidst everything, that was the part that hurt the most. How come Ekko got a get-outta-jail free card for when he made mistakes? If Ekko had been quicker, the whole thing would have been a secret only he knew about. Sure, Scar had vouched against it, but Scar hadn’t been there. There was a first time for everything, right? 

So, what was Ekko’s grand apology-excuse for that detail, huh? Was he really gonna pretend the regret was about how she felt, rather than the truth?

❛ this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. ❜ (Ekko)

So this was the fabled ‘apology’ that Scar had been on about, huh? So much for satisfaction. Ekko’s demeanour hardly even invited gloating, which was a shame when there were so few occasions where Mr. Right was Mr. Wrong.

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.“

Jinx tried not to cringe at Ekko’s bluntness.

Was this a new record for how quickly a simple chat could turn to torture?

What did Ekko mean by ‘this’, anyway? The ‘keep Jinx as a housepet’ thing? The ‘taking Jinx on jobs’ thing? The liking Jinx thing? The REALLY liking Jinx thing? A knowing glint of blue eyes pinned Ekko for a moment before drifting away.

Somehow, despite Scar’s assertions, it felt like Ekko and everyone else were playing some sort of cruel joke. What was she supposed to say? Was Ekko waiting for her to say something?

Don’t worry about it, chum! Terrible mistakes and Jinx belong in the same sentence!

Joke about it.

Laugh about it.

No biggie!

It totally didn’t mess with my head. Didn’t hurt one bit. Nope!

A painful silence stretched as Jinx battled the weight of the scowl threatening to harden her features. It wasn’t every day that someone apologised to Jinx- especially not Ekko. After a moment of faltering, Jinx’s expression levelled into blithe dismissiveness. No need to act like it’s the end of the world, right? Silly Ekko, making up silly problems. Was this because she’d been doing too well at the Firelight game? She could break some rules again, if it would make things go back to normal.

“Well, that makes all the difference.” Jinx drawled. What was this gonna be? Some shoddy sorry and move on gig? Was Ekko sorry, or just embarrassed? What was the point of any of this? So Ekko could pat himself on the back and walk away?

What else was there to say? She wasn’t good at leading conversations. Was Ekko going to explain himself or abandon the topic as swiftly as everything had gone to hell? It was hard to know which would sting less.

[phoenixyfriend]

Rey Gives No F*cks About the Grandfather Paradox

Okay so since nobody’s suggested a fic under these terms, I ended up expanding on this post on discord and things snowballed. We kept to the basics of the entire plot revolving around Rey really hating her grandad and leveraging her blood relation to not be unalived about it.

With contributions by @atagotiak​, @dracothulhu​, @thepallaspalace​, and several others. The title comes from @gelpenss​.

The basic thing I absolutely need is this: Rey gets thrown back to the middle of the clone wars, and the subsequent plot leans in really heavily on her being, genetically-via-clone-dad, the daughter of the guy running the entire galaxy.

Nobody knows what to do with her.

The timing is mid-TCW for the past (because I want Ahsoka there) and vaguely between Episodes 8 and 9 because I... never watched E9 and don’t want to worry about the timeline. The only things that matter is that Luke is dead (he can die as he did in canon) and that Rey knows she’s Palp’s granddaughter (not the way she does in canon).

We'll say Luke found out from Anakin's panicked force-ghost and just went "well, fuck, okay, I should tell her this before she ends up in a situation like mine and finds out mid-battle or something."

Luke, prior to time-travel: Okay, so, now that I'm dead I know some things I didn't before. Like who your parents were. In the interest of full disclosure because I was in a very similar situation and I don't want you learning the way I did, I'm just going to come right out and say that your father was a clone was Sheev Palpatine. Rey: ... Luke: Are you okay? Rey: I don't know who that is.

(She grew up on Jakku, the history education was a little subpar.)

Setting The Scene

Imagine Rey showing up during or immediately before the clone wars. There’s this phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater who tells you that if you ran a paternity test, it would probably pop up the Chancellor. She may or may not bring up cloning. She accuses said Chancellor of being a Sith Lord.

Your other phenomenally powerful feral teenager from a desert backwater, who may not be a teenager anymore but only barely, is very offended by this because Palpatine’s a Very Nice Old Grandfather Figure, but also he’s a little full of side-eye because if the blood test comes back as proof, then Palpatine had a kid and didn’t even know about them, or lied to Anakin, and that’s! Bad! Family’s important!!!

Palpatine hears about this daughter he apparently? Has? And is very confused because the timing doesn’t match up with ANYTHING he was doing, so the kid isn’t natural, and he says as much. (There is an explanation! It’s not a correct explanation, but he does come up with one.)

Finn and Poe and BB-8 all get dragged along because why not have the gang there? Nobody that’s already born, because [handwave] conservation of souls or something, IDK, point is the only person dragged along that’s even remotely close to already existing is Luke’s Force Ghost, who mostly hangs around begging Rey to be less impulsive. Finn is good because he is a nice polite boy, but for actual useful information they need Poe. The unfortunate situation is that the three do not land together. They land at the same time, in completely different corners of the galaxy. This means that nobody is there to curb Rey being her most impulsive self.

Time travel Rey knows two things. Luke’s dad ends up evil. Palpatine has always been evil.

She can solve one of these problems by killing the other, yes?

Rey: Ready to Rumble

See, the initial idea was this: Rey tried to break into the senate to kill Palpatine, got arrested, and then used the "he's biologically my father" card to get out of jail free. (Force Ghost Luke follows her like “please take five seconds to think this through.”)

But.

But.

It would be very, very, very funny if The Force just dumps her in a flash of light in the senate building and she just attacks Gramps on sight. Just a shouted "YOU!" and no-hesitation attempted murder.

Palpatine has no idea what's going on.

Rey took maybe two seconds to get identity confirmation and then started swinging.

[Image Description: An individual in a green metal helmet with an eye slit, holding a pistol. In the upper left, upper right, and lower middle are the phrases “I do not know who I am...” “I don’t know why I’m here” and “All I know is that I must kill.” End description.]

Of course, she gets arrested. There are Master Jedi in the Senate. There are Clone Troopers. Palpatine isn’t the weak old man he pretends to be. Of course she’s stopped.

But she isn’t executed in time for Palpatine to stop her from ruining his entire reputation.

Immediately after Rey fails to kill her Shitty Granddad, Luke's ghost shows up and begs her to not talk about the Sith thing because it will completely undermine everything she's trying to do. Pass off the attempted murder as something else!

Rey, panicking: "that fucker left me on a desert planet for 10 years!" "You owe me 19 years of child support you son of a Hutt!"

The Jedi have to do the investigation, because the girl showed up with a laser sword, and the conversation is, uh... interesting. (“Where did you get that lightsaber?” “I got it from a mysterious old pirate lady I never met before. I don't know, I was being shown around by a smuggler and a Wookie.”)

Interviewer: Why did you try to assassinate the Chancellor? Luke: Say it wasn't assassination. Rey: It wasn't assassination. Int: You weren't trying to kill him? Luke: Assassination has to be politically motivated. Rey: This was, um... not political. Assassination is political, right? Int: You mean this was personally motivated? Rey: Yes. Int: I see. What personal motivation? Luke: Jakku! Rey: He's my grandfather. Int: ... Rey: Possibly father. Nobody was very clear on that. Int: ... Luke: Tell them to run a paternity test. Rey: Oh hey, a blood test would tell us which, right? Int: ............ Rey: I spent ten years as an orphaned scrapdealer on Jakku. He's my father. I'm kind of a little angry. Int: ........... Luke: Good job, kid. You bought yourself some time. Int: I'm going to get a medic to see about that parternity test.

Obviously, it comes back positive. Congratulations, Sheev, you’re the father.

Rey comes with a ready-made built-in excuse for hating Palpatine that nobody can question or fault her for!

Rey, pouring Truth into the Force: I didn't even know I was related to the Chancellor until a few months ago, but it's his fault I grew up the way I did, and he should take some responsibility!

The entire thing is mostly kept hush hush but someone leaks it to the press and Palpatine's ratings tank.

"Chancellor, I think we'll need to waive family visitation until she wants you a little less dead." "I would like to find out why she wants me dead, and indeed, where she came from." "...sir, for your own safety--"

Who would win? A master plan years in the making spanning decades of manipulating and work? or One (1) paternity test

"Okay, so, Rey Palpat--" "Ew, no, I don't want his name." "You--okay. Sure, we can understand that. Is there a name you would prefer to put on the paperwork?" Rey, who would have gone by Skywalker in honor of Luke but can't do that when Anakin is right there and all: "Can I think about it?"

Rey: I don't know what I want my last name to be but I know I don't want his, and most of the people I’d want a name from have famous families like you... Luke's ghost, pointing out the Literal Nobody that she cares about a lot: How about Solo? Rey: ...Solo, then.

(A few months later she runs into Poe again and he offers for Finn and Rey to both take his name because honestly they need SOMETHING but at that point she’s already decided on Smuggler Dad.)

Backtrack a bit. We’ve got a bigger cast.

They all arrive separately. Poe, for one, does better than Rey, who is aiming for a murder, but not quite as well as Finn, who is currently being adopted and hidden like a secret cat by a bunch of Alpha Clones on Kamino. He vibes with the names-or-numbers thing. He doesn’t necessarily tell them where and when he’s from, but he’s very sweet and a great liar and they adopt him wholesale anyway.

The Finn situation is just... "Buir Ti, we need you to hide this man, we've decided he's our little brother but if Nala Se finds out she'll make him leave."

Of course, this leads into Shaak Ti teaching Finn how to Jedi.

Maybe consider Finn needing to almost be tricked into learning Jedi things because he willfully forgets it could apply to him. Finn does not like to think of himself as special, which is super valid, but frustrating for Shaak Ti when it comes to, you know, getting him to acquire knowledge. Finn's training at some point is "here, levitate objects with the Force to entertain the tubies." It’s a lot easier to convince him to practice when it involves the babies.

(Everyone on Kamino looked at Finn and went “oh I love him I’m keeping him and teaching him things.”)

(He’s just very lovable.)

Poe, meanwhile, buys the trust of Anakin Skywalker via R2D2 declaring BB-8 the absolute most baby of droids. R2D2 met BB-8 three hours ago but.

"Hey Obi-Wan this is Poe I met him like five days ago but R2D2 says he checks out because his droid is a baby." "That's nice, Anakin, did you know the Chancellor has a daughter who tried to assassinate him in broad daylight yesterday? Because guess who had to stop the Chancellor from getting assassinated by his daughter in broad daylight yesterday."

A summary so far:

Finn, on Kamino: Hey, um, I don't know where this is, but it's not where I was a few minutes ago. Do you think you could get me a comm? What's your name? Poe, on [dice roll] Denon: Oh, hey, you're General Skywalker? Nice to meet you, I'm so sorry about my droid, she's a little excitable and thought your R2 unit looked like a friend of hers-- Rey, on Coruscant: DIE, GRANDFATHER

Finn: [Peacefully vibing on Kamino, unaware of the chaos and bonding with the clones] Poe: [Trying to explain how he knows someone who tried to kill the chancellor and defend Rey] Rey: [Arrested for trying to kill the chancellor]

Just... just...

Anakin: Some guy ended up lost on base yesterday with his droid, how’s your day going? Obi-Wan: I had to stop someone who claims to be the chancellors daughter from murdering the chancellor after she seemingly blinked into existence in the Senate building. Poe: 😐

(Poe: Oh, so that's where Chaos^2 went.)

Poe: In her defense, she is his... well we don't know if she's his daughter or granddaughter, but she's definitely related to him, and she definitely grew up in a shitty situation that was his fault, so...

(Poe is trying very hard to explain this and not get arrested on the military base.)

As you’ve probably guessed, what's especially funny about all of this for me is the fact that Palpatine is fully aware that this girl shouldn't exist, but can't find a single piece of evidence about where she came from. He didn't start any experiments that could result in a female child, and he didn't have sex in that period of time, so where the hell--

Rey spends so much time in jail... BUT they do eventually assign her a Jedi Master. Possibly before she actually proves her evil grandfather is in fact evil. Most votes went to either Plo Koon or Obi-Wan. Plo, because he’s dad-shaped, and Obi...

"Obi-Wan, you already raised one feral desert child with implausible amounts of power, you handle this." Rey in return is very "Sweet, you vaguely remind me of Master Luke," and nobody knows who the hell she's talking about. Obi-Wan is NOT on board with this plan, she'd really be better off with Plo or like........ Mace.

Reunion Tour

What I need out of this is the eventual Finn and Rey reunion scene that is just excited screaming while someone in the background explains to Shaak Ti that yes this is apparently Palpatine's terrifyingly force-sensitive daughter who hates him.

(Finn senses Rey’s approach and just. Gathers the everyone to wait. He’s just :D REY MY FRIEND REY GUYS MY FRIEND REY IS COMING.)

Anakin shows up with Poe--just a guy who signed on to the military, no big deal--and then Poe and Rey are EXCITED and everyone's just like "Cool, how do you know this literal terrorist child?" And Poe has to scramble and "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh she saved my droid from a scrapheap once and BB-8 is basically my child so I owe her one."

Rey knows that Anakin ends up evil so she’s maybe not actively hostile but definitely very “I’m watching you.” That said, she vibes with him on a lot of things that he maybe doesn’t actively notice.

Rey picks up a snake, snaps off the head for venom avoidance, and starts biting off chunks. Obi-Wan's reaction: [undisguised horror] Anakin and Ahsoka: Ooh, where'd you find that? (Obi-Wan: And now I’m up to three feral children.)

What Does Palpatine Even Do?

OBVIOUSLY at a certain point, Palpatine is just phoning up every ally he has to figure out who broke protocol to synthesize a daughter for him.

So of course, Palpatine blame Plagueis.

She'd have been born five or so years before Naboo, just a few years younger than Anakin. It's such an EASY theory to build a conspiracy around. It is ENTIRELY WRONG, but it’s plausible! And anyone who might have been involved to say otherwise is probably dead!

A random bio-kid shows up you can’t possibly have contributed genes to? Maybe it’s the evil bio spark that did it.

Palpatine tries to placate her with the ‘my genes were stolen for an experiment and I didn’t know’ thing. It doesn’t work because her actual main complaint is he’s evil in her future but he tries.

It'd be a struggle to even get access to her, because of the aforementioned “maybe don’t try to talk to the daughter(?) that hates you” thing, but you know who Palpatine does have access to? The Chosen One.

Rey kind of decides on her favorites early on (she gravitates to Dad Energy and Sad Old Men so Plo and Obi-Wan are on her list, and that means decent time around Anakin and Ahsoka). It's really easy to talk Anakin into helping to some degree because "he'd like to connect to a daughter he never knew" and "a child of her power on a planet like that, you'd know her struggle, my dear boy" and so on. Anakin tries to connect! He tries to play up Sheev’s kind political work and how it can’t have really been his fault! It doesn’t work. Rey does not believe a word of it. Mostly she doesn’t even seem to hear him.

Rey's just like "...oh right, you're the melted mask that Kylo Ren was always ranting about," which means absolutely NOTHING to Anakin, but he mentions it to Palps, who loses his goddamn mind trying to figure out what she's talking about, because it also means absolutely nothing to him.

Here’s the thing: Rey’s already decided that Obi-Wan is cool, because Luke said so, and Plo Koon is dad-shaped, and she also gravitates towards earnest kindness in general, like she made friends with Finn real quick, so Ahsoka? Already getting along great.

She doesn’t dislike Anakin, really, he isn’t evil yet, he’s just... meh. She’s a little suspicious and she likes him less than the others but... Anakin.

Rey, to Anakin: You are my least favorite. Anakin, to Palpatine: YOUR DAUGHTER HATES ME???

And he goes from “she’s a lil standoffish” to “she doesn’t like me” to “she hates me” as is normal for Anakin.

It’s just an escalation of this one time Palpatine wants Anakin to not have rifts and trust issues with a person, at least not until later, because he needs information.

Meanwhile, that very moment, Rey is just like "huh, nobody here is listening to me about how make a sixth-hand carburetor work, where's Luke's dad?"

Anakin is venting to Palpatine about how hard it is to talk to Rey, and she's over in the Temple just like "Hey, that guy was useful last time, I should ask him," but also she only ever thinks of him as Luke's Dad.

(At one point, Obi-Wan is having a bit of a break down, and then Anakin starts having a breakdown about that, meanwhile the clones are (badly) trying to hide Finn behind their backs, Rey is watching Ahsoka practice and being like "I want two lightsabers," and Poe is trying to keep R2 from stealing BB-8 and Force Ghost Luke is just face palming in the background.)

(Rey deserved a saber staff, maybe one that can detach and turn into a jar’kai set. Possibly a pike. Mostly I just wish she got more chances to whack things with a big stick.)

[newswcanonprompts]

Skywalkers are immortal eldritch fucks (there’s so many ways this can go)

1. How does being half-force affect Anakin as a force ghost

Anakin... wasn't properly dead. just a bit too present, a bit too lively, and that if only someone pulled hard enough on the veil, he could be made to bleed again.

Anakin just keeps coming back to life, And so do Luke and Leia when they die.

"You've done it, you've killed Anakin fucking Skywalker. Wait, why is he standing behind you? Where's his body gone? Oh fuck, what is that expression? Oh no!"

This happens to Vader and terrifies the f*ck out of literally everyone

the man is the son of the Force, yes? how could he "become one with it" if he basically already was part of it? or at least, made of it?

It'd be either kinda horrifying or basically a regenerate-your-limbs get out of jail free card

Anakin turns up in Luke's temple one day, like "hey turns out I can't die"

Luke is just happy to have a Dad

imagine the backlash if that little factoid ever went public. "What do you mean Darth Vader can't die???"

"You mean he's alive right now????"

Obi-Wan realising he can't have a peaceful retirement in the afterlife because Anakin's apparently immortal now

Anakin starts trying to figure out how to make Obi wan immortal too

Ahsoka is so confused at everything

"You look a lot like the Hero with No Fear from the Clone Wars. Are you his grandson or something?" 

"Nope, I am him." 

"Freaking weird Jedi and their not aging."

 2. how terrifying it would have been if during the Dooku fight in AOTC his arm just regrew the moment it was cut off

3. them realizing this during the clone wars: CHECKMATE BITCHES

imagine the propaganda if there was a General who literally couldn't die

the Seperatists wouldn't know which way was up anymore

Anakin realised he had this sort of ability during the clone wars it would be hilarious to see him just throwing himself at things

he could protect his men better

Imagine how distressing it would be for a shiny to just see their general die and then come back seconds later

And Rex being like "Yep, the general does that."

just rubbing his eyes. and being completely done

Imagine the bitching sessions with Cody "At least yours resurrects! Mine just runs off without his kriffing lightsaber and armor all the time!"

clone boys have a heart attack whenever their general just decides to regrow limbs

rex faints the first time he sees anakin's arm grow back.

instead of the whole "my general keeps losing his lightsaber" it becomes "my general keeps losing his arm"

"My general keeps dying."

"Oh, how many have you been assigned to now?"

"No, no, he gets better again afterwards."

the 501st never tell the shinies that their general is immortal because the vets like to fuck around like that

it's kind of a right of passage for shinies to almost have a heart attack when the general comes back from the dead

Anakin is basically just the "if all else fails" option at that point because no matter what happens to him, he will be back at the temple annoying the hell out of everyone before dinner time

Anakin gets mortally wounded and is like "Well, I'll see you in five."

Droids: * shoot Anakin *

 * Anakin: * dies * 

Anakin, 5 minutes later in the middle of a crowd of droids: SURPRISE BITCHES!! * Murders them all *

Anakin dying to Dooku at the end of Attack of the Clones and then coming back and Dooku just being like "Fuck this shit I'm out."

him coming back and chasing dooku with his arm

Imagine the moment they find out Anakin can come back from the dead:

Ahsoka and Obi-Wan just sobbing their hearts out and then suddenly he's behind them like "Hey, bold of you to presume I'm mortal."

He pulls a Percy Jackson, and walks into his funeral.

mace windu utters a quiet "are you fucking kidding me"

next time anakin dies, his funeral includes a "welcome home anakin" banner

Mace stops letting the Yoda Lineage have funerals because they don't stay dead

They keep having funerals for Anakin just as an excuse to have a party

what if politicians don't know this. like the first time he dies during the war, and all the diplomats are there. Except Padme. She knows all and is just there to see the chaos.

They're usually private funerals, so they can keep inviting new people to screw with

"general skywalker just died"

"senator he's right here"

"i saw him die protecting me right before my eyes"

"senator do you need the healers?"

Obi-Wan, just watched Anakin go splat at the bottom of a ravine:

“ANAKIN!!”

Anakin, popping back into the mortal coil just behind him: “Yeah? What's up?”

obi-wan finding out about a Anakins thing and keeping it a secret,

so one day anakin dies and the whole council is like, mourning

obi-wan is just rolling his eyes and saying “it’s fine he’ll be back”

everyone thinks obi-wans having a mental breakdown

but then anakin walks into his funeral with a cup of caf and sunglasses and flashes everyone a peace sign

All of Yoda’s lineage (except dooku) and padme know.

"can you guys not cover me in white next time? it's pretty boring"

"can i get, like, glitter? is that a thing? make it a thing"

Skywalkers can also breath in space.

They just don’t have to breathe. 

4. THE FORCE IS A PROACTIVE PARENT IN THIS (AND AGENDER) (THEY/THEM PRONOUNS)

during the time it takes for him to resurrect, the force and anakin talked.

Bc that's the only time he could talk with a tangible parent.

he learns about palps that way

one time Anakin dies twice in one day

turns out the ability has a bit of a cooldown time so everyone's just panicking a bit because he should be back by now

then he appears like three days later

Obi-Wan's like "You bastard."

"Gotta keep you on your toes."

Really his parent just wanted some more time with him, and who was he to refuse?

a cracky! anakin basically having annual dinners with The Force because of how often he dies in the clone wars

in this verse the clone wars was created so Anakin & his parent The Force can have family dinners

Mortis, but instead of All That Nonsense, it's just a nice episode of meet the parent

padme dies, and then at her funeral she comes back, but force sensitive.

force sensitive, immortal, padme amidala. The seppies are going DOWN

The Force wills Padme to die because The Force wants to meet their daughter in law

It does this for basically everyone Anakin cares about

sometimes anakin and padme just drop dead, and wake up a few hours later bc they had a family dinner to get to.

"I'm going to kill you" is suddenly the literal way for Anakin to say "I love you"

Anakin dies on Mandalore and Satine witnesses it and she's horrified and doesn't know what to tell Obi-Wan but then she sees Obi-Wan talking to Anakin and she's so confused

So if anakin kills you and you’re someone he cares about you come back to life immortal.

Death By Skywalker basically being a way of becoming immortal is gonna fuck with the war so much

when Palpatine tells Anakin to kill all the jedi he thinks Palpatine is telling him to invite all the jedi to his Force Family Dinner

One day the entire Jedi temple just dies all at once, and comes back a couple hours later, to the confusion of literally everyone (including the Jedi)

yoda is frequently killed to spend time with the force because after 900 years the two of them are tight as fuck

Anakin doesn’t have attachment issues in this bc hey, people die all the time! :)

He also ends up being worshipped as a demigod.

More Angsty version of this: young anakin kills palps bc he thinks he'll resurrect, but then the tangible form of the force appears and explains that he was the sith master.

Palpatine would probably actually try to get Anakin to kill him, because hey! Free immortality! Don't mind if i do!

5. Imagine if this was something he discovered as a little kid. Anakin going off to visit Qui-Gon in the force and Obi-Wan wondering what eldritch beast he has ended up with as a padawan

"Anakin what are you doing?"

"I'm making master Qui-Gon a friendship bracelet?"

"...master qui gon?"

"yeah! i gave one to my parent yesterday and master qui-gon said he wanted one too!"

"Your parent? when exactly was this yesterday?"

anakin being a convoy for dead masters and their old padawans like Weed Dad qui gon jinn and his Struggling Son obi wan

anakin has two parents

Parent and Mom

[yami-writes]

if your asks are open & my request isn't too much. could you write a secret relationship one shot with mina & a skater fem! reader? so like the bakusquad wants to have a movie night, but like mina declines since girly had a date with her cute skatergirl planned on that day already & like she snitches out to the date & like both of them snitch into minas room later & cuddle & kiss, reader on her lap clinging like a fucking koala on her & how her classmates would find out, react. please my bisexual ass needs more girlxgirl content here, espacially with the mha girls 😔✊

(✨) paring(s) — Ashido x fem!skater!reader  (⚠️) warning(s) — none! (🔖) word count — 2.3k (💌) yami's note — yuhh fr tho 🤧 we need more mha girls but dw i gotchu 😌✨ 

“What? Why?” Kirishima questioned, poking his head out from behind Bakugo, “We’ve been planning this for weeks! You can't just flunk on us like this!!” Kaminari exclaimed, causing Mina to rethink the amount of time that went into tonight's now somewhat ruined plans “Aha~ yeah... sorry about that guys. Maybe another time.” she scratched the back of her head. 

Mina was about to leave before being stopped by a hard grip on her wrist “Oi, raccoon eyes. You better have a good excuse for this.” Bakugo glared, his crimson eyes almost seemed as if they could pierce holes in her soul. ‘Why does Bakugo of all people care!?’ She fumbled on her words, trying to find a reasonable excuse that would reward her the get-out-of-jail-free card without spilling the beans on anything private. “Uh- well- I uhm…” 

“Bakugo, leave her alone. Forcing yourself into her business isn’t very manly of you.” Kirishima chimed, ‘Right before I was about to get blown to bits! Thanks, Kirishima!’ Mina sighed in her head, before checking the time. 2:54pm. She promised to meet her date at 3pm.

Before anyone knew it, Mina was dashing down to the common room and out the door, almost appearing as a pink blur to everyone around her.

“Wha-what was that??” “I think that was Mina~” “Where is she going that fast!?” “I don't know,,”  “Mina’s fast but I didn't think she would be able to pull off those kinds of speeds.” the class-A girls conversed, wondering in concern what's got Mina in such a rush.

“Shit! I'm gonna be late! This isn't even the first time!!” Mina panicked, still racing over to the park the two of you had planned to meet at. 

Mina recalled the time she came almost 20 minutes late to a date because she didn't know what to wear, digging through her closet to find something she thought you would like. Dresses, skirts, sweaters, shorts, jeans, you name it, she probably tried it. 

To say the least, Mina was nervous. 

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Mina continued to race towards the park she had agreed to meet at. Her pace began to slow as her stamina got closer to reaching its limit. “Hey, Mina!!” she heard a familiar voice call out. “Y/n!! Hi!” huffed out as she came to a stop. Mina took a moment to gather her breath, her hands on her knees as she pants. “Did you seriously run all the way here from your dorm?” y/n questioned after a minute of silence.

“Of course I did! I didn’t want to be late,,, again.” 

“You’re a riot.” 

“Thanks!” 

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

The weather outside was nice and the view the park offered was wonderful. Flowers of all sorts bloomed on the flowerbeds. Mina could see daffodils, tulips, alliums, sunflowers, all of different colours. The clouds created gorgeous patterns in the sky, larger ones blocking out the sun and giving the area a slightly darker atmosphere, nobody seemed to mind though. Trees shaded parts of the park, most of the adults seemed to linger around there, watching the children play together. 

Mina and y/n took a seat at one of the benches that was shaded by a tall and broad tree, the smell of nature flowing around it, their hands intertwined. Mina wasn’t the best in some compartments, but one thing she is good at is conversation. It's hard to find a dull moment with her, maybe that’s why people like being around her so much. y/n definitely wasn’t at her level when it came to social skills but the conversations between them flowed so effortlessly, the two of them just seemed to click in the best way possible. Two puzzle pieces that were meant to be together, created to be together. 

“Hey! Mina, look!!” y/n pointed to an ice cream parlor across the park, a small line of children with their parent’s 5 dollar bills in their hands  “Let’s get popsicles!” 

“Sure! Last one there has to pay!!” Mina ran off towards the parler.

“Hey-! No fair!!” y/n ran after her, taking an extra moment to pick up her skateboard, the thought of riding it to pass Mina not crossing her mind. Mina was a fast runner, most of the men in her class not able to compete without their quirks, same thing goes for y/n. It was possible her skateboard wouldn’t even be able to put up a rewarding fight. 

Mina waited by the parler, almost mockingly stretching her arms as she waited for her date to catch up. “Took you long enough~!” Mina giggled

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” y/n got out a $15 bill from her pocket before immediately having it taken from her hands. “I was joking! Let me pay instead!” Mina pleaded “I wanna make it up to you for coming late,”

“Babes, you were a minute late..” 

“I made you wait an extra minute!! And what about all those other times I-” Mina was cut off by the Parler man clearing his throat to get their attention. She shoved her money onto the counter before ordering y/n’s favourite flavor and a strawberry popsicle for herself. The Parler man took the money before opening  his parler and handing them the requested flavoured popsicles. 

“Thanks, sir!” Mina chirps before taking y/n’s hand, bringing her back to the bench the two of them were sitting at before. The two of them unwrapped their cold treats, enjoying and sharing them with each other. 

Conversation continued to flow between the two, time quickly passing by. Parents began taking their children home, young adults began walking home from their jobs, the city seemed alive. 

Wind blew on the three branches of the park, a chill starting to coat the air. 

“It’s probably gonna get cold soon, maybe we should get inside.” y/n proposed

“Yeah... Hey! You should come to the dorms!” Mina was quick to suggest, she’s always wanted to bring y/n to her room. The idea of having y/n close to her body, sharing snacks and watching funny videos on instagram always brought warmth to her heart. The idea of getting caught never really crossed her mind. 

“Are you sure? Your classmates are definitely gonna find out.” 

“No they won’t, I promise!”

“Mina, they’re heroes-in-training…” 

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

When mina was set on a decision, it was hard to get her to settle for something else, that’s something y/n’s learned many times. Mina dragged her partner to the UA dorm buildings, planning out loud what they could do together. Face masks, tiktoks, nails, and dancing are only a few of the activities that came into question. 

“I like the sound of face masks, I've been needing one for a while, my acne’s been acting up.” y/n groaned. “Dancing also sounds pretty fun, do you have any new playlists?” 

“I always have new playlists! Plus, Jirou recommended me some new songs the other day, her music taste actually isn’t that bad,” Mina giggled, “For a goth, that is.” y/n laughed at her comment. 

Mina talked about her classmates often, sometimes even gossiping about them. She never said anything hurtful, though, it was usually just a few mentions after finding something that reminded her of them. She once found a icyhot packet in the store and went on about this hot and talented guy in her class, a frog jumping around near a pond caused her to ramble on about her friend Tsu, and the taste of a tea served to her at a cafe reminded her of the tea her friend Momo would serve at the tutor sessions she hosted. 

Soon enough, the couple was standing in front of Heights Alliance, preparing a plan to get inside without being noticed. “Everyone’s usually elsewhere at this time, probably in their rooms or off training or something~” Mina opens the door to the building, “We should be good.” 

Mina peeps her head inside, making sure no one was in the common room before she proceeded. She motioned for y/n to come inside, before walking further inside the building. “C’mon, my room is this way!” Mina took y/n’s hand, passing by the common room and to the elevator. y/n couldn’t help but look around, she had never been in the Dormitories until this point, it was much nicer, and bigger, than she expected. The elevator ride was quiet, the fear of having classmates hear them while they continued their loud conversation through the halls on their minds. 

The elevator stopped at the selected floor, Mina took y/n’s hand again before leading her to their destination just around the corner. “Here is it! Come on in!” Mina smiled before unlocking and opening her room door. 

“Oh wow, so… pink.” y/n gasped “Yeah!! Do you like it?” 

“Of course I do! Your whole room just reminds me of you, I love it!” y/n wrapped her hands around her date “And I love you too!”

“I love you more!!” Mina giggled, returning the hug. Her embrace was warm, warmer than one might expect, that might be the result of such a pure heart. 

“Whatcha wanna do? I have a bunch of stuff here,” Mina pulls out a box from under her bed and begins to dig through it, “I have face masks and beauty supplies here, snacks and candy hidden around my room, we could also watch some movies or find a show to binge!” 

“Face masks are a good idea, and I’m down to watch a movie while we wait for them to dry.” y/n gets down beside her on the ground, watching her sift through her box of stuff.

“Awesome! What movie should we watch? I have a bunch of DVD’s on my shelf but we could always find something on Netflix. Oh and pick your favourite face mask!” Mina presented about 12 different face masks for y/n to choose from. 

“Oh~ I like that one! It’s my favourite colour, and it has a nice scent.” y/n picked up the f/c bottle, reading the labels on the back and admiring the smell emitting from it. “Nice choice! I’ll go with this one!” Mina holds up a pink, sparkly bottle with grapefruits and strawberries on the front. “This one’s my favourite, I use it all the time!” 

“I can see why,” y/n laughs, Mina joining in. 

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

The two of them sat comfortably on Mina’s bed, y/n on her lap and arms wrapped around her. A movie the couple had agreed on plays in front of them on Mina’s laptop as they wait for their face masks to dry, sharing candy she had hid around her room. Mina occasionally placed soft kisses on y/n’s cheeks, jaw and neck, it was her favourite thing to do in this position. While Mina enjoyed receiving affection, she seemed to love giving affection even more.

Soon enough, the movie ended and credits began to roll, giving y/n and Mina a moment to stretch after sitting in one position for over an hour. “That was a good movie.” y/n said between stretches. “Yeah, I’m gonna recommend it to Hagakure, she’s been looking for good movies to watch lately.” Mina got out her phone to check the time, “We still have a few hours, wanna watch another one while we wait for our nails to dry?”

“We’re gonna do nails too?”

“Yeah!”

“Sure.”

Uhm i’m not sure how to continue and end this so i’ll do HCs for this part LMAOO

I gotta get better at writing smh 

Anyways, after Mina took you to her dorm for the first time you started coming over more often

The two of you always have a shitton of fun when you do

Not like you ever not have fun with Mina 

Although this one time was different~ 

Your skateboard had dirt and mud on it from riding after a storm, so you had left it by the door to avoid tracking any of it in Mina’s room 

But it so happened Denki was walking by and found it in the hallway floor 

And seeing it was outside Mina’s door he decided to not knock and ask if it was hers

He caught yall cuddling while binging your favourite anime 

“Yo, Mina, is this skateboard you-”

He went 👁️👄👁️

After an eternity a few seconds of pure silence Denki’s like BHJNBHJVHJ WHO’S THAT???? AND WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE TO THEM-??/?????

Mina sighs and explains the whole thing about how yall have been dating in secret and going on dates and stuff

The look on the boy’s face was literally surprised pikachu 

Mina asked him to keep a secret but c'mon now we all know Mr. Kaminari cannot keep a secret for the life of him👩🏾‍🦯 big mouth headass

He told everyone. 

the look on Mina’s face when Sero brought up her secret girlfriend the next day was priceless

“H-hOW YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!?”

“Denki told me.” 

Denki: *choke* 

He knows he’s ‘bouta get his ass beat.

As for reactions, they’re mainly looking pretty positive ✨

Denki, kirishima, bakugou and sero are the first people to find out, and probably one of the only people Mina talks about you to besides the other class a girls

They’re happy for her (although bakuhoe wouldn’t admit it- he pretends he don’t care but c'mon we know better than that), and definitely wanna meet you sometime soon 

All the class A girls and basically screaming 

Cuz like- wHAT

How could Mina keep such a big secret grrrrr >:((

She ends up bringing you and the rest of the girls to her room to meet you

Expect expect like 30 questions from each of them about various different topics that may or may not matter

Remember the boys who didn't care about seeing the girl’s rooms in that one episode? Yea this squad is still on their shit🧘🏾‍♀️

Okay well they do care, just not as much dnjskbjdkn

Sato would bake you a yummy cupcake! 

You ain’t neva eating something that delicious ever again just sayin~ 

Everyone else would silently wish to meet you one day 

Tenya is probably the only person you should look out for

if you don’t have Aizawa’s permission to be on campus he probably won’t let you inside🖐🏾

aizawa don’t care tho so getting permission isn’t a problem 

Overall, 1-A’s reaction to Mina’s girlfriend is pretty positive! 😗✌🏾

masterlist 

[terrainofheartfelt]

🛒⛔️👀🤲✅ please!!! <3

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. Well, might as well pick a theme for your ask here, and go with: the dilf!dan cinematic universe. I guess there are lots of reasons for it, the first being that there is a real, evolutionary phenomenon that makes the image of a beautiful man being good with a baby irresistible. And, of course, there’s the heartbreaking precedence of canon, that opened this can of worms of Beautiful Man That’s Good With a Baby and slammed it shut quickly after, thereby forever leaving my imagination dissatisfied. And too, with GG specifically, parenthood and how children are shaped by their parents/haunted by the ghosts of their parents’ past and visions of their parents’ futures, and how there is really only one (1) good father in the dramatis personae and he’s only good to like, half his children, the narrative potential of a main character like Dan stepping out of the GG cycle of parenting and building a life and a family that defies it is sooooooo….delicious. The Milo plot specifically, in a show that emphasizes bloodlines and genetics and biological links, breaking that down to say, Dan is not the bio-father, but that doesn’t matter because the love and the connection is real—a marked contrast from say, bart and wvdw, who use their bio-dad cards as get-out-of-jail free ones all the time. Just…everything this theme says about family and parenthood being earned. And choosing to be there. And choosing to stay. 

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped? Oh, sure. I am kind of a — stickler, I guess? That if I start something I want to have finished it, so I am trying to be better at forgiving myself for the fics I don’t write. That being said, there is one. So I started a fic a couple months ago that was a story based off of these headcanons (dilf!dan AND dilf!nate cinematic universe!) but then a few things happened: I went on vacation so writing wasn’t really a thing that was happening because my big brother and I were having too much fun, then I contracted COVID whilst on vacation so when I got home I was too sick to anything but watch Netflix and drink water and lay around moaning, and then, I was beginning to emerge from the brain fog, the supreme court (fuck em!), and it was like…so the whole thing that the fic revolves around is adoption — which is great! It’s a great practice don’t get me wrong — and I just…didn’t have it in me to write an adoption-at-birth plot after that particular devastating political event. I still like the idea, so I guess I haven’t scrapped it completely, but it’ll probably be a while if I ever circle back to it. 

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please! Ohhhhhh you are just trying to get me to talk about it publicly, I see you, S! But that’s fine, because I’ve been dying for an excuse. 

Okay so the recent discourse in my ask box — spurred by Sena’s posts (ty sena I owe you my life tbh), and then prompted by you, actually, S (wow, this is so your fault <3) — was about Blair’s pregnancy arc on the show and the Grimaldis shitty behavior and I mentioned an abandoned LJ fic where to get away from Chuck and out of her engagement and free of the Grimaldis forever, Blair enlists Dan to help lie for her and say that the child she’s carrying is actually Dan’s. Ever since I read it and then was heartbroken to find it unfinished, I’ve wondered how that story was gonna go, and now I can’t stop thinking about it…so here we are. 

I haven’t had much of a chance to make an outline and a plan, but generally what I am thinking now is starting in the weeds of 5x10 — the epicenter of everything that spurs the story for the rest of the season, honestly — and following through until the time that s5 ends (with a much happier ending for my faves, of course). Blair decides she wants out of the royal pipeline, and that she needs insurance/insulation from Chuck, and Dan is so stupid in love with her he’ll go along with any idiotic plot. Also like, as we’ve all joked, Dan WILL raise your baby no questions asked. 

But it’s just…it’s gonna be a bear of thing to pull off. It will definitely end up longer than I mean it to be (hello, it me), and to do it I know I’m gonna have to deal with the Dair + Serena of it all, plus save Nate from the Spectator (#notmynate), get chip whiskers out of the fuckin way, acknowledge the train wreck of Ivy/Charlie/Lola, not to mention all the things about her pregnancy & motherhood that Blair avoids grappling with until she’s suddenly Not Pregnant. PLUS Dan’s choice being all tied up in the Milo Debacle and his novel and his love of Blair. Which is all gonna be hard. 

But! The potential for the ROMANCE. Dilf!dan. Dair roommates. Dair doing three men and a baby except that it’s two-best-friends-who-are-in-love-but-don’t-know-how-to-handle-it and a baby.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip? Well, I’ve barely written much prose on the aforementioned wip, it’s just been basic outlining, stream of consciousness notes, and pitching scenes in your dms, but I’ll share a tidbit of the tiny bit I’ve written so far in my bullet points…

Rounded and big and unwieldy, she knows she’s well-past the benchmark of desirable now, but Dan holds her like she isn’t, touches her like she’s worth wanting, and kisses her until she wants to believe it.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to? musical!Humphreys my beloved! Sometimes it is very much intentional and is the basis of the plot (see: orchestra au & date valentine oneshot), but sometimes it just creeps in. Like I said, my writing is very based in music, and even though my parents are amateur musicians, I related a lot to the Humphreys right off the dat because music seems such an integral part of the culture of their family, if that makes sense? And my brother and I growing up the way we did, with all the music literacy and piano lessons (later guitar for him) and everything that came with that, I cannot really imagine Dan and Jenny not being skilled musicians, even though they’ve chosen a different genre of art as their career path. It’s one of their character pillars, a piece of their personality that’s shaped them, so musicians!Humphreys always comes into play in a story whether it’s intentional or not

fic emoji asks!

[cdyssey]

Need

Summary: After Nick arrives at the beach house, Frankie escapes to her studio to process her emotions. Post 7x04.

A/N: I've had such Grace and Frankie brain rot these past few days that I figured I should put it to good use and write another fic. It was really fascinating to try Frankie's POV. Lily Tomlin imbues her with a lot of subtle pathos that I totally wish the show would explicitly explore more.

AO3 Link

—

Frankie excuses herself to the studio for dinner, so she can process her very big, astonishingly inappropriate, and entirely overwhelming emotions without resorting to calling Nick a “wavy-haired, Pierce Brosnan wannabe douche canoe.” 

As delightful (and totally true) of a turn a phrase that it is, even she knows that saying it aloud would be trespassing a boundary that she’s sworn herself never to cross: Grace is married.

Unhappily married, maybe. 

Complicatedly married at the very least.

But until the day that they mutually say “I do” to divorce papers, there isn’t enough room for three people in the Skolka marriage, however much that Grace—bless her increasingly unthawing heart—tries to ensure otherwise. 

So Frankie lets the newly reunited couple have their dinner alone under the guise of a generosity that she doesn’t exactly feel, and she takes leftover pasta into her studio to moodily pick around the bowl until her fettuccine looks less like fettuccine and more like unevenly perforated confetti.

(Woo fucking hoo.)

After a few minutes of this aggressively unconstructive practice, she places her nearly full bowl on a nearby work table and stretches out across her paint-stained couch, staring at the ceiling and resisting the reactionary urge to light a joint. Mary J might help her feel better for the present moment, but tomorrow morning, she’d still wake up and feel invaded in her own home.

Paradoxically, she’d also feel alone, goddammit.

She pulls her shawl more tightly around her shoulders against an invisible and piercing chill.

Frankie hates feeling lonely.

She spiraled when Grace lived in the penthouse. She nearly self-destructed to fill the gaping void that her roommate, her friend, her practical and beloved soulmate left behind. There was a period where she didn’t wash her clothes and ate a lot of admittedly non-vegan takeout. There were nights when she’d lay awake in her awfully huge bed, staring at the empty space where Sol used to sleep, and have the familiar waking nightmare of spending her final years in forced solitude. She was happy with Jack, and then Jacob—sweet Jacob—came around too, and she did something she still feels fucking ashamed about: she hurt both of them, and she lied when she said that she had just wanted to have some fun.

She knows herself.

Intimately.

She‘d been scared of being alone again, so she tried to hold on to two people who were helping her to stave the awful feeling away. Those men wanted her, and Frankie used them. They wanted her, and she pathologically loves to feel wanted because she sometimes and irrationally fears that she might not be needed.

To be fair to her irrational fears, all the people she’s ever needed and felt needed by have hurt her before.

Sol cheated on her for twenty years.

Her own sons stuck her in a nursing home.

Grace just fucking left her.

She eloped in Vegas like a blushing twenty-one year old bride and just disappeared.

She says it was a mistake; she sat across Frankie in a sunlit restaurant and candidly told her that she didn’t like the person she had become when she married Nick.

And to be completely fair to her, Grace has been adamant about not wanting to leave again—so perhaps she never will—but if her husband is here to stay, it's also a distinct possibility that she’ll never have to make the choice to physically leave to… well… leave.

She can perpetually honeymoon with Nick and still call Frankie home. 

It could be a happy ending for Grace… and a fresh new hell for Frankie, who'd just started to feel secure again.

God knows she wants her best friend to be happy, but the big man in the sky must also surely understand that she had hoped that she alone could be enough for Grace, that this unconventional life spent together in the beach house—so crazy, so weird, and so inextricably entangled—would be their shared happily ever after.

But even as she thinks it, the vestiges of her clearly misplaced optimism begin to evade her, dregs now at the bottom of an already drained cup.

She and Grace aren't married.

It’s always been an objective fact.

Tonight, it feels more like an unpleasant reality.

When the door leading into her studio suddenly flies open, Frankie barely has enough time to swipe the back of her hand across her eyes before she sits up to find none other than the lady of the hour.

Her collared shirt popped up stiffly around her neck, a martini glass surgically glued to her right hand, Grace looks quintessentially herself as she walks in, even down to the minutiae of her trademark I'm-angry-at-the-world-and-everyone-in-it expression—brow furrowed and eyes Medusa cold. After all but slamming the door, she stalks over within a few clicks of her practical but unmistakably high heels.

“Well, hello to you, too, Sunshine,” Frankie greets wryly, hoping to hell and back that her face isn’t as red as it feels. 

It’s a tall order, though.

Alas, she was gifted (or equally cursed) with an exceptionally expressive face.

“Frankie, this is nonsense,” Grace says bluntly, using her martini glass like a pointer and leveling it straight at her head. “Come back to the house—your house—and have dinner with us.”

It’s the authoritarian nature of the demand that rifles Frankie.

Frankly, it pisses her off.

She’s always been a rebel contrarian.

“And by us, you mean you and your house arrested husband, right?” She returns evenly. She betrays herself by raising a single and devastatingly skeptical brow. “The man with whom you should be having a very emotionally honest conversation with right now about the parameters of your jacked up relationship?”

Grace shifts her weight from heel to heel and glances away a little too quickly for the gesture to be entirely natural. Frankie had blatantly stricken a pulsing nerve, and the guilt of doing so immediately swallows her. 

She shouldn’t be so hard on her friend.

(She doesn’t know why it’s permissible to be equally hard on herself.)

“Well, I tried to have that conversation, thank you very much, but then I ended up wanting to claw Nick’s eyes out.” The obvious follow up question must shine in Frankie’s face because sighing infinitesimally through her nostrils, Grace adds, “His attorney argued that my advanced age and apparent capability to croak at any moment were reasons enough to grant Nick leniency. They let him out so he could take care of me—whatever the hell that means.”

Her no-nonsense voice never falters as she delivers the brutal words, but her eyes undermine her, seething with emotion, simply roiling. They tell a story of horror and disgust and searing, absolute betrayal; they’re heavy all over with sadness and the indelicate trappings of all her raw and mercilessly exposed fears. 

Frankie understands immediately.

Nick used one of Grace’s deepest insecurities as a get-out-of-jail-free card.

Being eighty-two years old.

But perhaps more accurately, feeling like it.

“Oh, honey,” Frankie melts. She can do nothing else but melt, to be suddenly overcome with fierce, protective, and terrifying love for the woman in front of her. “That fucking bastard.”

Grace immediately laughs, the sound hoarse and watery and a little unhinged all at the exact same time.

“Tell me about it,” she half-smiles and takes the swearing as a rightful invitation to join Frankie on the couch. With a gentle clink, she sets her half-emptied martini glass on the table next to Frankie’s completely full pasta bowl. “I said the exact same thing.”

When she chooses to sit close enough that their shoulders are brushing, Frankie intuitively knows that this is petty defiance against Nick for daring to intrude upon them and the world they've so carefully created together.

She temples Grace’s nearest hand with her own in an attempt to silently communicate that this right here—whatever this is between them—is love.

“So, please”—Grace squeezes her hand back—“please don’t be angry with me… I… I didn’t want this. You know I didn’t want this. I don’t want him to even be here.”

Frankie stares openly at her best friend.

Wide-eyed and hopeful against her self-loathing, self-centered will, she searches her broken face like it's revelatory.

It's stunningly rare that Grace Hanson ever articulates her wants so clearly. Forty years of an emotionally repressive marriage did their number and toll on her. She pedestalized rigid decorum over every conscious desire. 

She played by the rules even if they hurt her.

And drank herself to oblivion on many a night to forget the very fact that she was hurt.

To deny herself the honesty she’d somehow convinced herself that she didn’t deserve.

“… you know this is your husband we’re talking about here, right?” It’s a rhetorical question. Frankie's pretty sure that they both fucking know that it’s insane that this conversation—that this entire situation as a whole—is happening. 

“I know,” Grace replies firmly. “Believe me, I'm well aware. But you’re… you’re my partner, Frankie, and if I can’t be upfront with you, then I don’t know who else I can turn to.”

The very word partner sends shivers down her spine, and the shivers collect like butterflies in her already churning belly.

It’s just a word, she tells herself. 

She scolds.

Grace doesn’t mean anything by it.

It's a label, and Grace doesn't do labels anymore.

“I... I wasn’t mad at you, Grace,” she finally admits. It's easier to do than questioning the extent to which her roommate would give up the world for her, but all the same, her voice is frighteningly weak, a pale imitation of everything Frankie usually projects herself to be: confident, cheerful, unshakeable, unshaken. Suddenly, it hits her that it’s been a very long time since she’s been so openly vulnerable, too. “I'm not even really all that mad at your jailbird husband either. I was just scared, and when I get scared, I skitter like a nervous little bug."

She shuts down.

She spirals.

She tries to put a smile on her face for the people who love her all the same.

And then she lies awake at night, drowning in the sheets of an empty bed.

Thinking about how she should probably tell someone that everything hurts.

But she’s Frankie, and she doesn’t do that.

Grace perpetually convinces herself that she doesn’t deserve honesty; Frankie has come to fear that no one wants her own.

“Were you scared of me?” Grace asks quietly, her grip so tight now that it almost stings.

“Frankie…” She presses when a few heartbeats of silence stagger by, limping painfully on all fours, pronouncing so many unspoken and profound hurts. 

“Of losing you, Grace,” she confesses, the words defeated and scraped raw. She forcefully tugs her hand away from Grace's just to temple her own hands together on her lap, to lick her sundry and shining wounds in a private corner. “I was scared of losing you, of being alone again in this big, empty house… and I don’t like being alone.”

She can’t bear to look at Grace as she says it, staring at the paint-flecked floor without ever really seeing it, her eyes burning.

She wishes they’d stop burning but feels the precise moment when they begin to leak anyway.

It’s all so embarrassing.

And childish.

Frankie is an eighty-year old woman, and she shouldn’t be upset over her best friend having a goddamn life.

She should be happy for her, fucking ecstatic.

And yet, she's—

But before she can complete the miserable thought, her body becomes aware of another sensation entirely—warm arms enveloping her from the side and inexorably pulling her in, turning the space that once existed between two bodies—between them—intangible, negligible.

Grace.

Shock turns into realization, and realization transforms into aching, sweeping relief.

It can only be Grace.

Grace’s soft lips pressed to her cheek.

Grace’s fingertips curling into the fabric of her dress.

Grace’s nose against her neck as she slides her sharp chin across her shoulder.

“I’m not leaving you, Frances Bergstein,” she declares. “Whatever happens between me and Nick, in the end, it’s going to be just you and me in this house that is our damn home. I swear that to you. I’d tell you every day just to prove it to you.”

Oh, these words.

These beautiful, tender, and long-needed-to-hear words.

They’re just words, she could tell herself again.

She could lie.

She could convince herself if she had to.

She could conveniently forget that Grace Hanson uses language carefully, that she employs every sentence with scalpel-like precision.

Or... more complicatedly still... Frankie could believe her.

Frankie could blindly accept these words for what they are, as manifest confirmation that she is loved by another—prioritized and cared for and needed.

She could be Grace’s partner and let that incredible word be electrically charged with so many complex and ridiculous and extraordinary ideas, none of which are traditional, and all of which feel true.

She could believe in her even if belief is not simple, even if belief is a product, first and foremost, of trust.

And Grace has certainly lost her trust before, but goddammit, she's earned it so many times, too.

“Oh, God,” Frankie laughs in such a way that it’s stupidly clear that she’s crying as Grace rubs slow circles into her back with her thumb. “This is all messed up. You’re the one with a house arrested, tax evading husband. I should be the one comforting you.”

“The house arrested, tax evading husband doesn’t particularly faze me,” Grace chuckles, her voice low. “Seeing you hurting and upset does. My priorities are remarkably straight.”

“I’m not sure you know the meaning of that word,” she smiles weakly as they slowly and clumsily begin to extricate themselves from their tangled embrace. 

It’s hard to find themselves again.

To be apart.

“But I do,” Grace protests, emphatic and indignant and maybe even a few shades righteously pissed. “You’re the person I wanna share this crazy life with at the end of the day and every day. Why is that so hard to believe?”

“Because every day is an incredibly long time to be with me,” Frankie offers meekly, giving her one more perfect and easily acceptable copout, a neatly packaged excuse. 

She can be too much.

She knows this.

“It’s just the right amount of time to be with you,” Grace murmurs, reaching up to brush an errant tear away from Frankie’s cheek, her thumb lingering, her quivering palm. “You’re kind enough to love me, and I’m lucky enough to be loved by you... so let me return the favor, Frankie. Let me be here for you."

And to Grace’s credit in this fleeting moment, she continues to hold Frankie.

It's a promise to never let her go.

[rayshippouuchiha]

Can I be honest?

Ao3 actually kept me from harm BECAUSE it hosted darker content that is well tagged.

Let me explain. I started my fanfiction days pretty young and in ff.net no less. I loved reading and I was curious. First thing I learned before going on the internet was from my father (the internet is not for kids, stay sharp, you going into an adult place, act like it). I was very careful but I was still curious.

So, I started small, but because of the ff.net tag mess I did get burned. A few times. Sudden violence, amputations, sex scenes (god i remember the lemon scale bs, as if i understood it in the first place) (this was before the purge). This was because all the well written fics were mostly in the M rating but had no specific tags so I had no idea if the M was for torture, cursing, or god knows what, I couldn't filter out anything.

Some of those things I still remember, they left a mark in a way, but that wasn't the writer's fault because they couldn't tag and I ignored the author note sections because most of the time it was just rambles of the author talking with the characters self-insert style or about their real life problems, how was I supposed to find a warning in that kind of mess? And that's on me.

In that period I kinda got introduced to sex, a thing that wasn't talked about around me in real life. I was already a bit older, so I read it no problem. Then got introduced to kinks and found them interesting.

That's where Ao3 comes in. I found it when looking at fic recs and saw a new internet address instead of ff.net. For me, it was the holy grail. I was still a young curious teen girl but suddenly had access to a whole library of cool shit. I read a lot of mainstream fics and switched between fandoms like a deck of cards. Then, I saw the E rating. I was interested and clicked. Clicked through the adult content warnings like a true kid lying about their age on the internet.

I saw tags galore! Now, for the first time I was, in a way, safe while exploring dark stuff. Because one fic on the same page was tagged underage (the characters were my age at the time) and was E, while a whole other E fic on the same page was graphic torture case fic and worse. And it was all tagged.

So there I went, looking at fic, going hmmm and deciding: oh that's interesting, ew no, oh that's gross, huh i wonder what that is, this sounds good, oh i love this, uhhhhh hmm should I risk it, OH HELL NO.

And that's the thing! I knew what I was reading! I could experiment with kinks and dark things in a completely safe environment of the fantasy world!

Ao3 in a way saved me from talking about these things with others and accidentaly falling into an actual predator's hands (think student/teacher dynamic, grooming), because my curiosity wasn't going away, I still would have looked sooner or later, and if it wasn't for the no-interaction interface of Ao3 (a story can't kidnap or molest you), I could have been hurt.

Like yeah, no shit, I know I'm lucky that my brain didn't get actual trauma from textual depictions of dark stuff I stumbled on in my early days, but what I did get was more valuable than the risk of trauma (also, you can't get trauma from a tag, but you could from the text that has the tag, so the reader is still the one responsible, they were warned what was inside the box and still opened it).

I got boundaries, squicks, hard no's, absolute limits, whatever people call them these days. I now know what I can deal with and what I can't. I know myself better and could now fight against a person trying to bend or break them. I read dark shit so I know what kind of emotions I get from them and in what circumstances (what I like in text pretty much never carries into real life (even the mild things like biting), surprise).

But purity police would look at my Ao3 history and scream their head off about how I'm a deviant roaming free to attack people like a rabid dog, because obviously I must secretly wish to do that in real life!

And then if they met me they would get the confusion of a lifetime! They would have this image of a sexual deviant/old as fuck creeper/freak and then see me, a 21 year old woman, a well adjusted and social individual who has NEVER and will NEVER hurt a fly, eating chips in bed and reading fucked up shit about fictional characters for entertainment.

Because that's the difference. It's not the average people reading fucked up shit that are dangerous to the public, it's the people who already were fucked in the head before reading anything. No story on this Earth can force you to commit a crime unless you already wanted to do it and were just looking for an excuse.

Case in point, the Dexter inspired murders ("it wasn't me it was the book, I am innocent, it was the evil book, as such I am not to blame, blame the author!") and the NUMEROUS video game related murders (oh no it's not the parent's fault they bought their unstable child a 18+ rated game, it's the game's/creator's fault!"

Fiction and Reality coexist and influence each other in various ways (propaganda, misinformation, stereotypes, false data), but not like this.

And do you guys know why? Because we have an instinctive moral compass, we know right from wrong, and anyone fooling themselves thinking "I would have never done that if this [media] didn't tell/force me to do it" are in fact lying. Again, they would have done it eventually or even wanted to do it already, they just found a viable excuse now, all free to use as a "get out of jail free" card.

Sorry for the long ask and for my English (non-native speaker), you can ignore this, I won't mind. Just got a bit ticked off at people blaming writers for shit they didn't do. So here is my perspective from a long time reader's point of view.

If all these works didn't make me into a monster after all this time reading, then maybe, just maybe, it's not the works' fault.

You bring up absolutely wonderful and important points darling. Thank you for sharing.

And your English is fantastic so don’t worry about it.

[bts-hyperfixation]

Taehyung, 2, 21, 27. Preferably a Smut with some angst and surprise me with the scenario. Could it be a mafia au?

Happy Birthday, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year – 18+

Taehyung Mafia AU

Warnings: Anal play, definitely some unclean sex practices, unsafe sex, mentions of death threats

I am so sorry about how late this is!

“Look baby, I already said I’m sorry I’m not going to be home for Christmas.” Tae sighed rubbing his temples as you refused to turn back to face him. You’d been fighting over this for a while now.

“It’s not that you won’t be home for Christmas Tae. It’s that you won’t be back for your Birthday or New Years either and I’m sick of it!” you finally deign to look at him. It’s clear he is close to snapping at you, but you are tired of the shit. You knew it was going to be hard to be with him, especially after you found out what he really did for a living, but you weren’t going to let this one go. This year alone he had missed: valentine’s day, your graduation, your birthday, his mother’s birthday, and Halloween, and you would be damned if he missed the next three holidays as well.

“You know damn well there is nothing I can do about this Y/N! You need to just drop it.” He huffs fixing you with his most intimidating stare. Unfortunately for him, you became immune to that look a long time ago. He was scary man to everyone else, but to you he would always be a teddy bear. It was long established he would never hurt you. You just stared right back. Your own evil glare far more threatening.

“I bet you could do something. You’ve never even tried! You are at his beck and call regardless of the day or time. I bet if we ever actually got round to setting a wedding date, he would call you away from the alter and you’d just fucking go.” Something akin to hurt flashes across his face but you don’t stop. “Namjoon cannot be your be-all and end-all Tae, one day you are going to have to be a big boy and make a decision for yourself.”

“What do you want me to do Jagi? Do you want me to let Namjoon shoot me for not being there? He will you know, shoot me dead, or worse you. Look I was a stupid kid when I entered into this, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m in. Namjoon calls I answer, or I die. That’s it no grey area.” His gaze softens when he sees the panic in your eyes, tears welling in the corners. The thought of Taehyung turning up dead because of you too much to handle. He reaches out his arms for you and you slot yourself in. You take a minute to inhale him, burying you nose into his jacket.

“I just miss you Tae.” Your voice muffled by his suit. He holds you tighter to him and kisses your head. He moves one hand to smooth down your hair.

“I know Y/N-ah I miss you too, but we have tonight so let’s make the most of it.”

A short while later you are wrapped up on the sofa. Taehyungs arm is wrapped lazily around your shoulder as you lean into him, trying to forget that he won’t be there in the morning. The hours tick by and episodes of the show on the tv keep ending. The two of you are fast asleep in one another’s arms. By the time you wake up the world is way too bright. You squint your eyes to look out the floor-length patio window.

“Tae… Taehyung wake up!” you tap at his arm panicked as he grumbles for you to leave him be ‘just a little longer’ “Kim Taehyung wake your ass up. I think we are snowed in…” his eyes snap open at that. Fear registering on his face when he sees the two feet of snow that was still growing. He glances at his phone.

*3 missed calls Namjoon*

NJ: Where are you?

NJ: You’re late

NJ: Don’t make me take away your little toy to regain your attention.

NJ: Kim Taehyung if you do not respond to me, I will be forced to take matters into my own hands. DON’T make me.

He hides the screen from you a little too late. Bile rises in your throat, but he sends you a reassuring look as he rings back Bangtan’s leader.

“This better be good.” You hear through the receiver.

“Hyung, I’m sorry I’m not there. It appears I’m snowed in. I’ve spent the last few hours trying to figure a way out. The windows are too protected and the doors all open outward. It appears we did too good a job fortressing my home from others that even I can’t get around it.” You hear a low grumble come from side of the phone as Taehyung’s boss considers the excuse.

“I can’t spare anyone to bail you out… as soon as your free make your way here… I’ll be checking in.” with that the line goes dead. You both let out a breath in relief and settle back into the warmth of one another.

“Looks like I’ll be home for Christmas after all.” Taehyung says trying to break the silence.

“Guess I’ll have to think of a present to give you now…” you joke, untangling yourself from him and the blanket. You sway your hips a little too much as you move away.

“I think you might be my present.” He licks his lips as he stares at your bum.

“I don’t know? Shouldn’t you be looking for a way back to your Joonie?” you tease bending over more than necessary to pick something up off of the floor.

“Looking at the snow, I just don’t think there is anyway for me to possibly escape until after my birthday… New Years even?” he makes a big show out of being disappointed, but he can’t stop the smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“No, no, you should at least try.” You turn back to face him, batting your eyelashes in the most overexaggerated way you could. Your arms pull in a little to accentuate your cleavage.

“Keep doing that and your gonna end on the naughty list.” He growls, abandoning his ruse mush quicker than you.

“I don’t know what you mean baby. You really really should try to get back to Namjoon, I imagine Bangtan’s entire operation is going to shit with out you.” You casually check your nails, attempting to look bored.

“I just got handed a get out of jail free card. I’m going to use it.” He fireman lifts you off the floor and spanks your arse. You squeal and wriggle but its no use. He throws you on to the bed, barely giving you a moment to recover before he is discarding his shirt and straddling you. His mouth latches on to your throat leaving blooms of purple all over the exposed skin. He is ruthless in his marking, needing the world to know that you are his, even if that world will only be you and him until the snow melts.

You whine as he nibbles at the most sensitive area of skin right below your ear. You can feel his satisfied smirk against your skin.

“Still want me to try to get back to work?” he teases. You just wrap your hands in his hair and pull his mouth to yours. Tugging at his curls, you don’t let him go until you can’t breathe anymore. You weren’t exaggerating when you said you missed him. it’d been a long time since the two of you had been intimate. He hovers above you for a moment. His signature boxy grin plastered on his face. He takes all of you in. Hair splayed underneath you, blush colouring your cheeks, lips plump from the kiss. Perfect. Perfect and his.

“What?” you can’t read what he is thinking. Having gone from full on to heart-eyes in a matter of seconds has you extremely confused.

“Let’s set a date. I’ll tell Namjoon to go fuck himself, just pick a day and I’m all yours.” He nuzzles back into you waiting for an answer.

“May, just as the weather gets better.”

“Deal.” His lips return to yours, this time it’s much softer. All his love for you going into this one kiss. “Now let me ruin you.” He pulls at the hem of your t-shirt, dissatisfied when it doesn’t immediately come off. He rips it away instead. You pout a little at the loss of a good shirt, but he draws your attention back quickly. Hot opened mouth kisses trail up your stomach from your navel to your bare chest. His tongue circled one of your nipples, flicking the sensitive bud until its standing at attention. He tweaks it between his fingers making you grimace at the pleasurable pain.

“Please Tae…” you moan

“Please what jagi? How am I supposed to know what you want if you don’t tell me.” His feigned innocence dripping in his tone.

“Please Tae I need you.”

“Need me where?” he is practically laughing at how desperate you sound.

“I need you to shove your tongue so far inside of me I see stars.” Not a man to need to be told twice he dives straight between your legs. He makes quick work of your pants and underwear. You bend your legs and angle your hips towards him. You can feel the vibrations of his laugh flutter against you as he brings his lips to your core licking up your arousal before setting to work. He wraps and arm over your hips to stop you from writhing underneath his touch. So sensitive from not having his touch in so long. You cant help the jolt as his tongue slips from between your folds to between your cheeks, playing with the tight ring of muscles there.

“Tae” you try to make it sound like a warning, but it comes out more of a whine.

“You said you needed my tongue inside of you. You didn’t say where inside of you. You need to be more specific with your wording baby.” He doesn’t give you chance to respond before pushing into your hole. You keen at the sensation. The arm that was holding onto your waist makes its way to your clit, rubbing lazy circles in the opposite direction. He keeps the pressure just like that for a little while, lulling you into a false sense of security. You settle down and enjoy the lazy pleasure. You should’ve known better. Once your guard is down, two of the fingers from his free hand thrust inside of you. He curls his fingers, immediately finding the most vulnerable part of you. He takes his tongue away from you so he can watch as your face crumples in pleasure.

The orgasm that had been slowly building in the pit of your stomach is suddenly about to be ripped out of you. Your back arches as another finger stretches you out, inching you over the edge. His tongue returns between your cheeks as you ride out your high, pushing yourself down on the fingers he has left inside of you.

“God, I hope this snow never melts.” You pant

“Me too,” he tries to move back up and kiss you, but you push his face away.

“Oh hell no, you need to go brush your teeth before we go for round two. Next time warn a girl before you do that.” You laugh as he grumbles climbing off of you with an evident tent in his slacks. He shuffles fake dejected into the bathroom.

Masterlist

Christmas stories 🎄

[autumn-foxfire]

This youtube comment was an answer to another comment, who was pointing out that Dabi wasn’t right about heroes being selfish and that we saw in this arc how heroes, even the normally self-centered ones, were giving their all and more to protect people.

Submitted by: Anonymous

Please excuse me as I go bash my head into a wall.

Is this person on crack?! I ask that seriously because how the fuck do you distort the heroes and their motives so much?!

The heroes aren’t complete saints, the horror!!

So what if not all the heroes are there to just save people?! It doesn’t change the fact that it’s a major part of the mission and by acting to prevent the planned genocide they are saving them. Aizawa and Present Mic have a personal grudge but so what? They want answers to why there friend was MURDER AND MUTILATED, of course they’re fucking pissed. Not to mention Shigaraki has also tried to kill Aizawa and his students on MULTIPLE occasions. Also many of the villains are motivated by personal gain and yet I don’t hear these people complaining about that.

Endeavor is here to protect people, we know that. And just because Mirko is enjoying the fight (not kill, fight), doesn’t mean she does not view her mission of saving lives by stopping Shigaraki seriously and in fact ditches the fight the moment she can in order to stop Ujiko from waking Shigaraki up.

And it doesn’t matter why Present Mic saved Ujiko, what matters is that he did. But you know what, I’m going to hazard a guess that in such a high stress situation where they couldn’t think but just act, Present Mic clung on because of his instinct to save people.

The Hawks take is just completely stupid too. I didn’t know supervillains offered people a second chance and go through every option then can, even allowing themselves to be burned to death in the process, to find a way to get them out alive before only killing them as a last resort. You learn something new everyday /s

And yes Hawks killed Twice when he was trying to escape and yes it was justified considering that Twice was escaping to kill people. Enough said, it was completely justifiable and people can die mad about it.

Also Hawks had sympathy for Twice because he was the only member he was close too. It wasn’t like he was giving Twice a get-out-of-jail free card, he was just trying to empathize with a person he viewed as a good person. 

Mic and X-Less didn’t reanimate Shigaraki straight away because Shigaraki murdered everyone the moment he was alive. If he was revived without Eraserhead around, the result would have been the same, they were probably waiting for him to come so they could transfer him safely (assuming they were planning to do so in the first place, at least).

I won’t mention bring the teenagers because that is the one valid criticism in this though that should fall on the HPSC, the people who actually made the decisions, not the heroes who did everything in their power to keep them as far from the battlefield as possible and expressed extreme distaste about them being involved.

They speak about people missing the point of this arc but this person is so drenched in villain bias they’ve forgotten how to read the manga and think objectively about the heroes.

Why do people treat the heroes like they’re the creators of the original sins and not just normal people who are trying to be good?! It makes no goddamn fucking sense.

I’m tired of anti-hero bullshit. 

[thecandywrites]

Jewel Of The North Part 11

Woo, this was so much fun. Karma begins to sink her teeth into Alorna and Doug. Meanwhile Noah and our dear reader Zara draw closer and closer. Que- Lady in Red.

Many thanks to @monstersandmaw​ for sharing ice orcs with me. I am having a blast. Enjoy. 

Jewel Of The North

Part 11

The next morning, you accidentally slept in because you were up half the night getting some of the best sex of your life and reconciling with Noah and having the best heart to heart while you were fucking the other’s brains out and this morning you felt like you were running around like a chicken with your head cut off trying to get ready on time and Noah walked you to the spa himself and you weren’t five steps from it before you saw Alorna and Doug at the counter, getting last minute upgrades on their services and about to go into it and both you and Noah stopped dead in your tracks and gasped and squeezed the other’s hand tightly and you doing that made Alorna and Doug turn around to look and one look made them freeze and breathe in tightly and the looks on their faces were priceless as they looked like they both had been caught with their pants down as both you and Noah quickly got your phones out and got pictures of them, together for proof of where they were and why the couldn’t be found back on the mainland.              

And seeing them, you and Noah looked at each other before looking back at them and started busting out laughing and pointing because the odds of the four of you meeting back up, let alone like this- was astronomical. So it was either by fate that you met or by the craziest coincidence. Yesterday you would have wanted to beat them both to a pulp. Today- though, you didn’t care. You had your family and a clean conscience and you knew they couldn’t boast of that last one and you knew Karma was about to bite them in the ass and you knew that justice was coming for them and for you. 

“Oh my gods, you left John for Doug?” Noah asked his sister. 

“What if I did?” Alorna shirked with a shrug. 

“I mean you’re a stupid, faithless bitch either way and incase you missed it, I officially disown you. By the way, since you seem to have been ignoring your phone, I think you should know I got a text from your soon to be ex husband, telling me that you had skipped out of town on a cruise and he officially called all his credit cards that you have- in as stolen and cancelled your check card and kicked you off the checking account at the bank. And his lawyer is expediting your divorce and all your stuff is at the community center and that he changed the locks on the doors. But at least he left you your car.” Noah informed her as he pulled up his text from John on his phone and read it off to her. 

“What?” Alorna blanched as she came over to look at his phone to read it herself. 

“Even if that’s true, Sweetheart, you can move all your things in with me.” Doug offered Alorna which made her beam smugly at her brother. 

“Thank you Baby, I knew I could depend on you.” Alorna practically sang as she sauntered back to him and kissed him sweetly as you just stood there and shook your head as you texted your picture to Summer and gave her the update as even more updates came pouring into your own phone.  

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment I need to keep.” You excused yourself and went up to the desk to check in for your own appointment. 

“What are you getting done?” Doug asked you curiously from down the counter.

“Nothing. It’s an interview and sales pitch to be an onboard LMT, I get the ultimate cruise experience and elite package in a King’s Suite for free just for about an hour or so of my time and any money I spend on this cruise, I write off as a business expense, both personally and from a business expense for all of my businesses. So while this cruise is free, I get to enjoy a twenty thousand dollar tax break for myself and for each of my businesses, which considering all four of them and counting myself, is a whole hundred thousand dollars. Not bad for an hour or two of my time eh?” You returned with a smugness of your own as Doug and Alorna’s jaw dropped in jealous disbelief. 

“Enjoy your time at the spa.” You offered sweetly before you paused and turned to address them head on. 

“Oh by the way, before you go, I should remind you- just in case you didn’t know, there is always legal backlash for defaming and maligning a priestess of Aura. Because my lawyers have already been in contact with every single elder in every clan up here and especially with every single elder on the councils and got so many statements of what you two said about me to them and already have more than enough evidence to sue you both and it doesn’t matter if and when which of you turns on the other or not, both of you will answer for what you’ve done. You should know that the last person to defame a priestess of Aura, was sued for a 150 million dollars in damages, and the out of court settlement ended up being 15 million. So you’ll be hearing from my lawyers when you do get home and currently you’re both in the process of getting warrants out for your arrest because defaming and threatening a public figure which all priestesses of Aura are, is an arrest-able offense in every country in the world and an expedite-able offense too. So enjoy jail. I doubt anyone but me will have pockets deep enough to bail you out and there’s no way in hell I would ever do that either. But I hope this little affair was worth it for you.” You offered, your tone sweet as honey but the gravitas of what you were saying hit them both like a ton of bricks Noah beamed the happiest, proudest smile. 

“Yes! In your faces motherfuckers!” Noah cheered as he gave them both the bird. 

“Baby, I’m gonna be sitting right over here until you get out.” Noah informed you happily as he pointed to a chair before he strutted over and settled into it. 

“You’re lying. That’s the worst bluff I’ve ever heard.” Alorna scoffed at you. 

“I guess we’ll see when you get off the ship, in any port you do get off at. You’ve fucked around, now you get to find out.” You smiled smugly back with a shrug. 

“Ms. Kingsley?” Sharon- the spa’s manager called when she came out. 

“That’s me.” You confirmed as you went over to her and shook her hand and went back with her into the spa for your interview. 

“What if she wasn’t bluffing.” Doug murmured to Alorna before their own therapists came out to get them. 

“She has to be, she’s just trying to get the last word and the last laugh and steal our fun. It’s not gonna work.” Alorna insisted but Doug wasn’t sure before they went back into the spa. 

Noah happily texted his mom that you and him had fully reconciled and that he had told Alorna the ‘news’ of John’s divorce as his mother confirmed everything you had just told Doug and Alorna and that yesterday, shortly after you left, that she had gotten a call from a lawyer asking about the incident and that not only did she and Ukluk confirm the case, but so had Isla, Tonrar and everyone else involved and that the clan law was in the process of getting modified by each clan and that each clan was offering Zara a share of the tribal lands as recompense for believing the lies about her and were working on a formal apology and would be officially stripping Alorna and Doug of their clan standing and ties and that the police were involved and that there were indeed warrants out for their arrests and that cops were already contacting the cruise ship to let them know they were harboring wanted individuals. 

Noah simply giggled gleefully as he got up and went to the closest bar and got a celebratory drink before settling back into his spot.

Finally, after all this time, and pain and heartache and damage, his sister and Doug had caused, they were getting what was coming to them. Karma was real and was gonna bite them in the ass soon enough. And the best part about it, is he didn’t have to lift a finger and neither did you. All he had to do was stand by you and do right by you from now on, which he was more than prepared to do. Never again would he waiver from you. Because while you had lost the battle the other night, you sure as hell were going to win the war and just because you weren’t physically fighting or combative, didn’t mean that you weren’t fighting back, you were just fighting back in the best way possible. You were going to hit where it would hurt them the most. And Noah for one would rather get the shit kicked out of him rather than be abandoned by his clan. So he was supremely grateful.

He pulled out your check that had been in his pocket, and turned it over to read the back one more time. 

‘Dear Noah, please don’t think that I’m giving up. I’m not. I will never give up, not on you or on Sakura. And I will fight till my last breath for you both. I don’t want you to have to choose between your heritage, your culture and your birthright- and me. You deserve both. You both deserve everything you want. Love, happiness, honor, pride, heritage, roots and family. When you read this. I hope you’ll understand that as a priestess, there are rules I have to follow while in regalia. And I hope we find each other again soon. No matter what happens, I will always love you both- Sincerely, Zara.’ 

Even now, Noah wiped a stray happy tear from his eyes as he pressed the check to his heart. He had been a fool yesterday. A thankless bastard, a reprehensible asshole. But you redeemed him. Even when you shouldn’t have. And for that, he would always be grateful. And love you unconditionally and always treat you with the utmost care and respect. And treat your children as his own. Even if they both hated him at first. He would win them over by staying true to you and them. And he was always going to have your back and theirs and be the trustworthy rock you and they needed. He silently prayed to every god you both believed in and vowed this to them and when he had finished. A renewed sense of peace and happiness came and settled in him and renewed his spirit. 

The interview process did take about an hour and a half. But you came out of the spa, happy and smiling and laughing with the spa’s day manager before you practically strut over to him. 

“So? How’d it go?” He asked before you slid into his lap and drank the rest of his drink. 

“It went great, they offered me a job but sadly I had to turn it down because I actually want to be around for my kids and possible new husband and can’t do that living on a ship full time.” You hinted. 

“They have a jewelry store on this cruise ship right?” Noah asked. “I can get you a wedding ring right now.” He offered. 

“Don’t you dare, the jewelry on this ship is cheap in quality and sky high in price. I would much rather have a traditional ring from the clans or bead in my hair or whatever. Besides, if you do get me a ring, it’ll live on this necklace or any other necklace you get for me because I can’t wear jewelry on my hands for work. But I would wear it on my off days and special occasions.” You answered. 

“Besides. Call me old fashioned, but I want a traditional wedding with all the friends and family and all that and not some last minute thing on a cruise ship.” You urged him. 

“Me too.” Noah simply grinned as he happily wrapped his arms around you and held you comfortably. 

“So, let’s go get some brunch.” You urged him before you got off of him and offered him your hand to help him up which he gratefully took and once he was up to his full height he returned the glass to the bar and walked down to one of the restaurants on the ship with you comfortably under his arm. 

“I will say this though, could we get you some nice dress clothes for dinner?” You asked as you walked down the hallway with your own arm around his waist. 

“Sure.” Noah answered before you both gorged yourselves on a brunch then went shopping to get Noah a few things for the remaining nights of the cruise, including a black suit with a black dress shirt and black dress shoes with black socks with a few different ties and handkerchiefs that would match the dresses you brought so that you would match and so that Noah’s suit would be versatile. 

“Aww, I see you found her.” Maggie said as you guys walked past the customer service desk together, both of you carrying several bags each. 

“I did.” Noah grinned proudly. 

“So- what did you forget?” She asked you curiously. 

“His heart.” You answered truthfully. 

“Awww!” She gushed. “Really?” She asked as she looked from the two of you. 

“Yeah, we’ve been falling for each other since we first met each other, and it just took one good kick in the pants for me to come to my senses and come after her.” Noah revealed. 

“What was your kick in the pants?” She pressed giddily. 

“This.” Noah said as he showed her the back of the check before she and everyone else at customer service read it and started crying once you explained the whole story after putting your things on the counter so you wouldn’t have to keep holding them and it freed your hands up for your gestures. 

“So, I actually won’t be needing my cabin. I’m rooming with her.” He nodded over to you. 

“Well then I guess you need a refund for your suite don’t you? I mean you didn’t even really use the room at all, barely stepped your foot in it. So it doesn’t count, besides, we need the room for other guests anyway.” Maggie insisted before she got his room card and re-programed it so it would work for your room instead. 

“And I got you some ship credit for whatever else your hearts desire while sailing with us for any “inconvenience”. Oh this is straight out of a movie I swear!” Maggie swooned happily as she typed on her computer before she printed out receipts and stuff for you both. 

“Thank you so much for sharing. I ship you guys so hard. Here’s my email address, email me what happens, I want to know.” She insisted as she wrote down her personal email address to you. 

“Definitely.” You grinned before you got your stuff and went back to your suite together and got ready for dinner at the cruise’s most fancy restaurant. 

“Wow.” Noah breathed in awe before he wolf whistled at you from the comfort of the couch in the suite when he saw you walk out of the bathroom in a red dress that hugged your curves gorgeously and was sexy as sin. Your hair was done up, your makeup flawless, the red of your lipstick matching the shade and tone of the dress perfectly and your jewelry he could tell was older and most likely inherited from your late adopted grandparents. 

“Thank you.” You thanked him bashfully as you struck a few seductive poses for him. 

“That’s going to be real fun to take off.” Noah grinned as you could already see the beginnings of a hard on tent his pants. 

“Yes it will. Later of course, not right now, we have a reservation to keep.” You urged him as you got on two different pairs of shoes. 

“The red or the black?” You posed as you stood before him, switching from one foot to the other. 

“They both look amazing, pick whichever one is more comfortable.” He urged you. 

“They’re about the same. I’m going with red. Save the black for the little black dress.” You decided before you walked over to a chair and put the other red shoe on the other foot so now they matched before you found your shawl and put your things in a little clutch. “You ready?” You asked once you were all put together as you draped the shawl around your shoulders. 

“Ready.” Noah said as he turned the TV off and got up from the couch and straightened himself up before he was by your side in just a few strides and happily escorted you to dinner and smiled so proudly when everyone you walked past seemed to stop and stare at you strutting past them. You could tell most of them wanted to say something, a few of the brave ones whistling lowly after you passed them but one look from Noah had them biting their tongue and looking away guiltily. While Noah looked perfectly dashing- he was an ice orc after all and therefore- not someone to mess with and Noah happily escorted you to the restaurant where you got seated at a table in the center of the restaurant where you happily shrugged your shawl off and laid your clutch next to you in the comfortable armchairs. 

Noah wanted to pinch himself. Two weeks ago, he was bartering flights and airplane fuel and googling what he could make for dinner with only two or three ingredients and a handful of spices and he felt like he was treading water, barely keeping his head above water and begging his garden to ripen his produce faster so he could eat it and use it and he had been so grateful that Taylor had recommended him to you. You were one of the first clients to not haggle. He had given you a high price to start with, expecting to be haggled down. But you had accepted it and even sent him a deposit and that had set him straight and it was enough to ease the sinking feeling and gave him breathing room. And then the moment you walked into his life. Suddenly money was the last thing to matter to him. For the first time since childhood, money was not a major factor in anything. All that mattered was Sakura and you. Your safety, your wellbeing, your comfort, your happiness. And when you took to Sakura as easily and readily as you did, all he could do was thank the gods for answering his prayers for allowing the right woman into his life and Sakura’s life and for giving him the patience to wait for her. You were like a soothing balm to all the wounds losing Neena he and Sakura had sustained. 

Neena, while she was traditional in most senses and was an excellent mother and careful with money and expenses and incredibly thrifty and resourceful because she had to be, she was easily contented and not demanding at all, however she wasn’t the greatest lover, or cook. She was very reserved. And not expressively passionate. 

But you? Passion and heart, feeling and intuition was in everything you did. You were mild, gracious and generous when you wanted and needed to be but you didn’t let anyone walk all over you or take advantage of you and very protective. You were balanced between open yet discrete and an excellent judge of character. And you created such a safe, wonderful, nurturing, welcoming and relaxed environment wherever you were. And you were always, always- professional. You garnered respect wherever you went and whatever you did. And you were a goddess in both the bedroom and the kitchen and the perfect fit. 

He felt guilty comparing you with Neena. It wasn’t fair to either of you. He had married Neena out of obligation, because Isla had arranged it since his youth and being married to her was a lesson in patience and persistence and learning to adjust to the other and learning to be a team.  But to feel his heart and his soul and his mind light up brighter than the moon and the stars in the dark of night- when he met you, was something else entirely, it was an instant attraction rather than a growing to like, then love and working in tandem with you was second nature to him. You were an addiction for his soul. And he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to have you in his life. And he was adamant, that he was never, ever going to be foolish enough to try let go- ever again. 

Soon enough, he noticed that your table didn’t have the usual two waiters, your table- had four. And all of them were practically drooling over you. Noah was used to only having great service at home. They were treating both you and him like royalty and he sincerely doubted he would get this kind of service if he wasn’t with you. But he was going to enjoy it and suddenly the table was full of all kinds of complementary offerings. And with you flashing that smile and remembering each waiter by name and being sweeter than sugar and honey, they were all eating out of your hands. Even the chefs and sous chefs came out to see how you liked their offerings and happily sent you away with a handsome spread of other desserts to enjoy in the room since you were quite full just from all the appetizers and tapas and entrees whether they were on the menu or not. 

On the way back to the room as both of you were carrying a few bags each, you passed Alorna and Doug who were leaving the casino and arguing bitterly with each other. Apparently they both had had some really bad luck in there and you and Noah simply snickered a laugh and shook your heads at their theatrics and drama. 

Once you were in the room Noah was all too happy to peel your red dress off of you so you could take your corset off and groaned in relief once your body wasn’t being restricted anymore which got Noah to chuckle as he got his own suit off. 

“Feel better?” Noah asked. 

“Much.” You answered before you went to the bathroom to wash all your makeup off and once you reappeared you found Noah in a simple t-shirt and a pair of night shorts as you had donned your own pajamas. 

“Dessert on the balcony?” You suggested. 

“Sure.” Noah nodded as he grabbed the bags as you two went out the porch as you grabbed a blanket and snuggled into the double sunchair together as you two got to digging into dessert. 

“So what are your hobbies?” You asked him curiously. 

“Like what?” He asked you. 

“Well, bedsides the flying, when it’s the off season, what do you like to do?” You asked as Noah took a big bite of cheesecake and thought it over as he chewed.  “Besides the things you have to do to live up here, what are the things you look forward to doing in your off time?” You clarified before you took a bite yourself. 

“Well I guess, just...making things and improving things. Two weeks ago, my winter plans were to rewire the parts of my plane I didn’t rewire last year. And the usual home improvements. Last winter I made Sakura a new dresser, so I’m kind of a jack of all trades.” Noah answered. 

“Well then I think I have something that will interest you, it’s a workshop and it’s a decent sized outbuilding. When Andy and I were designing the house, he wanted to have a space to do his tinkering, to work on the vehicles, to do some maintenance and whatever else he needed or wanted to do. So even after he died, I went ahead and built the workshop that’s bigger than a shed but not quite a pole barn. It’s big enough to do small to medium sized projects in, comfortably. Thanks to my brothers and brothers in law and my dad I was able to score a lot of various equipment for super cheap from a lot of the old estate sales and barn sales and such. Like I have a lot of woodshop equipment, mechanic stuff, forge stuff, blade-smithing stuff, blacksmithing stuff and the like. And my dad and all the men in my family, whenever they come over, I can always find them out there, fiddling with stuff. Like it could be a proper man cave. All it would need is like a couch and a tv. Because it already has a mini fridge for soda and beer along with a bathroom and washing facilities. It is a separate space from the stables, and the hay barn.” You informed him as you pulled out your phone and showed him pictures of it before he took the phone and zoomed in on some of the equipment was shown as Noah’s lips were pursed into a silent ‘ooh’. 

“Why do you have a hard on?” You teased as you noticed his half hard cock make an appearance in his shorts as you stroked your leg against it from half sitting in his lap.  

“Cause I’m looking at one of my biggest fantasies brought to life, in my wildest dreams I never would have imagined anything like that and my head is almost spinning with all kinds of ideas of everything I could do with all of this. It’s almost too good to be true. I mean that’s a….” Noah chuckled as he looked at it all before he started listing off what he saw and what he knew about all of it as you just smiled brighter and prouder as relief and validation and vindication flooded your mind. 

“Good.” You beamed. 

“Why did you build it if Andy wasn’t alive to enjoy it and use it?” Noah asked you thoughtfully.  

“Can you promise me not to freak out?” You posed. 

“Yeah.” Noah answered as he gave you a curious look. 

“Ok, so it was one of those- ‘build it and they will come’ kind of things. I had always planned in my head that if and when Andy would die, I would just up and move to the northern Great Lakes to be with the rest of my family. And then when Andy did die and we had already bought the property and were in the process of bulldozing the existing farm house and clearing brush and trees to make room for the house. I flirted with the idea of still cutting ties and just up and moving. But Olga surprised me by coming down to see me and she advised not making any rash decision with a broken heart and not to let my past ideas limit my current potential. And she had me bring her out there. And she ended up doing a peering right then and there, among the dirt and gravel. She told me to not change my plans of moving there, that my roots where I was- were already deep enough to sustain me and my family and if I uprooted myself and my family that I would damage them and me more than help them and myself. That I had the will, the means and the ability to build my dreams right there, from start to finish and that if I built it, they would come true. I just had to lay the foundations. To grow a garden, you ready the soil and then plant. I had already started to ready the soil. What I grew from there depended on how much soil I readied and what I planted. Both literally and figuratively. And that by the time my heart was ready, everything else would be ready too. And when she shared that with my family, they were all too happy to help in any way they could. When I had full control of all the funds from all of my inheritance from my adopted grandparents- I went back to the design firm and did a complete redesign and because I now had, literal millions to play with, I was able to design my dream house with all the flourishes and thoughtful touches and dreams and fantasies I had initially wanted but gave up because they didn’t fit the utilitarian point of view Andy had and I got to plan and execute it exactly how I wanted it. And even when there were little hiccups with the construction. I was ok with it. Because I wanted it to be perfect and it was. And then after it was built, and I was furnishing it and suddenly my dad, my father in law and my brother and brothers in law drug me to all these estate sales and barn sales and I got a ton of equipment for super cheap. And Olga told me that the right man would recognize what I have and know exactly how to use it best, not just in my self but with what I had. Which you just demonstrated for me, cause you knew what all of that was and I am willing to bet that you have at least a dozen ideas of what to do and how to use it all in your head.” You grinned proudly as you tapped the side of his head affectionately.  

“Oh at least a hundred.” Noah admitted happily before he turned to kiss your fingers and your palm with equal affection.

“I look forward to seeing them.” You insisted as you snuggled further together. 

[phoenixyfriend]

I'd like to hear ur thoughts on a sex pollen au! ^_^

OKAY COOL I actually have been having many thoughts, most of which are pretty disjointed, and I’m tossing them under a cut. Thank you for giving me an excuse to share them.

This started with me going “I have a fucked up fic desire, I'm scared to look to see if it exists because if it does then it's probably not going to be done in a way I can stomach, let alone enjoy...”

But you know what, let’s talk about it.

So as a general rule, I can see the Anakin and Rex being like "Ah, you're hot, but one of us is in committed monogamy and the other is functionally a slave to the Republic, so we'll just high-five and move on with our goddamn lives because there's a war to fight."

The three kinds of fics I want to read with this in mind are like

Less fucked up: Padme urges Anakin to find release where and when he can, ends up with an arrangement to have sex with Rex whenever they're feeling wound up, which Padme is entirely open to happening (and on her end IDK one of the handmaidens), but there's a running undercurrent of 'is this really okay?' for Anakin because of the limited freedom the clones have and fraternization laws and all that fun stuff

More fucked up: Rex is quietly lusting after Anakin but doesn't actually ever acknowledge it out loud, partly because Padme exists and partly because wow fraternization laws, and Rex is vaguely under the impression that if he asked, Anakin would fuck him, but only out of guilt for the slave army situation, because what's Star Wars without a mess of ethical bullshit? Except then Rex gets hit by some sex pollen, and needs to get fucked to survive (or at least to not be in a whole lot of pain), and the only person he actually wants that way is Anakin, if only because everyone else in the area is either a brother or Ahsoka (who is baby), and like... obviously, Anakin's going to help however he can, but the ability to consent is muddled on both ends due to the coercion and reluctance etc.

Still fucked up: The same as number 2, but Anakin’s the one that gets hit with sex pollen.

I was prompted with that last one on discord and ended up SPIRALLING around "Anakin is hit by sex pollen, only sapient individuals in reach are clones (ethical violation), Ahsoka (BABY), and the natborn officers (they'd all refuse); Rex offers, both angst"

Various lovely angst options, including

Anakin initially tries to refuse by insisting he can't cheat on Padme, Kix (who is monitoring the health situation until someone gets their sexy on) just straight up calls her and says "Hi, your husband is going to be in extreme pain for several days unless he gets fucked and we don't have time to get back to Coruscant. It's not usually lethal but he's going to feel like he's on fire for all that time, partly because of a significant fever. Please give him permission to sleep with someone because this isn't actually safe to ignore." Padme is. Well aware of the clone situation and asks who's volunteering, then asks to speak with Rex directly to make sure HE wants this, and not that he's just volunteering because he feels like he has no choice. Eventually she's at least convinced that Rex is doing this as a "Help out my bro because he's in pain" thing, rather than a "help out my CO because that's what I'm for" thing, gives permission, but also says "And the Captain is coming to dinner when you're on leave." (Rex legit likes Anakin That Way in this scenario, but he can't TELL her that.) (Even though that's what she's LOOKING FOR.)

Anakin's "get out of ethical jail free" card has been stamped and voided, he cannot opt out of Destroying A Friendship By Hurting Someone, begs Rex to let down his mental shields so he can at least Know that Rex wants this, really, and that's enough to get us to a fade to black.

Anakin avoids Rex for days because he feels terrible, and Rex keeps wanting to apologize because he feels terrible, the clones are all confused, that's obviously all fun and games until Rex eavesdrops on Anakin demanding Kix tell him who else knows, did anyone tell the natborn officers

First assumption is obviously "he's ashamed of sleeping with a clone" but Rex isn't stupid enough to leave before he's eavesdropped to the end of the topic, but the actual reality is much worse, because it's a legitimate fear: Anakin's worried that if the natborn officers find out a clone slept with a Jedi because the Jedi "needed" it, someone'll take it as blanket permission to proposition the clones, and the clones... don't legally have the right to refuse, because they're not people.

Even if the clones do have the right to refuse (which Anakin is adamant they do, all of them, under his command and that of any Jedi), the natborn officers might twist a situation and leverage threats, etc, just because they want some fun.

Anakin's panicking, Rex is worrying, the clones are all Very Hush Hush about this. The Jedi Council was informed of the incident and Anakin's insisting that it not get reported anywhere beyond the clones involved and the Council reviewing it for the aforementioned ethical violations, because he does not want to become the precedent that people use to assault clones that way.

IDK probably this gets twisted into Palpatine trying to convince Anakin that it was Fine, Actually in a way that Anakin later confesses to Padme makes him feel uncomfortable and she's like "darling... that's fucked up, he shouldn't have said that and all your guilt comes from a place of caring for your friend right now, you need to talk to Rex and ask if he wants to be transferred if he's uncomfortable sharing a ship with a commander he slept with for reasons beyond your control, it's a bad situation all around and the Chancellor trying to alleviate your worries by telling you what he did was actually really bad, don't listen to him" and that snowballs into Anakin doubting everything Sheev tells him and IDK fix-it somewhere in there

Poly, yay

BUT THE TERRIBLE THOUGHT WAS MOSTLY ANAKIN WORRYING ABOUT NATBORN OFFICERS TRYING TO USE THE INCIDENT AS PRECEDENT FOR ORDERING CLONES TO GRANT THEM SEXUAL FAVORS

It’s likely that natborn officers were already coercing clones into sexual relations where the Jedi couldn’t keep control over the situation, but the thing is that if word got out that a Jedi did it, that a Jedi was treating a clone like that, that a Jedi implicitly approved...