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stuonsongs · 3 years ago

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My Top 10 Favorite Songs of All Time - 2006 Edition

2021 Editor’s Note: I was looking through some old files and found this thing that I wrote sometime in the summer of 2006 at age 22. For all I know, it could’ve been 15 years to the day! Looking back, I’m not sure how many of these songs would still make my top 10. Don’t get me wrong, I still love all of these tunes, but I’m sure you know how it goes - You get older, you get exposed to more things, and your idea of good music expands. Anyway, I thought it might be nice to share with anyone who still uses this site. I present it in its original format without edits to my writing. I ended up writing full posts in this blog about some of these songs if you go through the archive.

Stu’s Top 10 Favorite Songs…Ever

Let’s start with some honorable mentions. These were so close, and I thought about it for so long, but they had to be left off.

Honorable Mentions

All Summer Long – The Beach Boys

All Summer Long. 1964. Capitol

This song has been described so many times as being “the perfect summer song.” When you listen to it, you can’t help but smile from the opening marimba intro, all the way through. It just screams “summer” and it hurt me to leave The Beach Boys off my top 10.

Bleed American – Jimmy Eat World

Bleed American. 2001. Grand Royal

So full of energy, so rocking, and so what would’ve been the most recent song on my list. I wanted to keep it in the top 10 just so I could have a song from the ‘00s, but it wasn’t meant to be. When the chorus kicks in, I can’t help but headbang.

Marie – Randy Newman

Good Old Boys. 1974. Reprise

Randy has said that a lot of young composers pick “Marie” as their favorite Newman song, and I can see why. The idea of a guy having to be drunk to tell his wife that he loves her is pretty funny, and throughout the whole song it’s just the beautiful melody with tons of strings, all to a tune about a guy ripping on himself as he comes home drunk to his wife.

Does He Love You? – Rilo Kiley

More Adventurous. 2004. Brute/Beaute

I guess this is newer than Bleed American, so it would’ve worked too. This is another more recent song that it killed me to leave off the list. The outro is an arrangement of the main tune with a different chord progression performed by a string quartet. Very beautiful. Also when Jenny Lewis screams “Your husband will never leave you, he will never leave you for me,” I get chills every time.

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So here it is. After a long day’s work, I’m finally finished. It actually turned out much different than I was thinking when I first started. The number one wasn’t really even in my top five when I started, but I slowly realized I loved it so much. I also left Ben Folds (Five) off this list completely, and I don’t know, I just feel the whole catalogue of Ben is so solid, none of the songs stick out to me that much. But anyways, here it is! After the break of course…

Stu’s Top 10

10.

(Love Is Like A) Heat Wave – Martha and the Vandellas

Heat Wave. 1963. Motown.

This one beat out “Bleed American” just barely. The reason being that somehow, despite being nearly 40 years older than Bleed American, it still has so much energy that it kills. Dan Bukvich once told our Jazz Arranging class that you can boil all the oldies you hear on the radio down to three categories: 1) Great Song. 2) Great Performance. 3) Great Arrangement. This song is one of the great performances. The handclaps throughout, combined with the driving baritone sax behind everything and constant snare drum action will keep anybody with blood running through their veins dancing all night long.

Bodhisattva – Steely Dan

Countdown to Ecstasy. 1973. MCA

This song is my Freebird. It’s just a basic blues progression song at its core with some minor changes at the end of the form. The real kicker that drives this song home is the three minute guitar solo in the middle that isn’t nearly as rocking as Freebird, but it is highly proficient and takes me to places that just make me want to play the song over and over again. I have no idea what this song is about, probably Buddhism, but hey, this once again proves that lyrics rarely matter and the music itself is the core.

Zanzibar – Billy Joel

52nd Street. 1978. Columbia

This song reminds me of long car rides on vacations down the west coast with my parents growing up. They used to play a tape of 52nd Street, or at least their favorite selections, constantly on these trips. I didn’t hear this song again until early in my senior year in college and remembered why I loved it so much. The song has a heavy jazz influence, displayed in the breakdown where Jazz trumpeter Freddie Hubbard does a solo. The best part of this song though is at the end of the 4th line of each verse, Billy does this “Woah oh oh!” thing that just makes me want to sing every time. It was between this and “Miami 2017 (Lights Go Out On Broadway)” which is also a great song, but the “Woah oh oh!” is too much for ol’ Stu boy.

Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) – Bruce Springsteen

The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle. 1973. Columbia

Early Bruce Springsteen records have something that very few other artists can ever pull off without sounding cheesy or forced. It has this undeniable sense of urgency, like the world will fall apart and life will crumble through your fingers if this one moment in time doesn’t work out the way Bruce describes it. There are so many early Springsteen songs that just set a scene of “We have to get out of this town right now girl before it kills us, no matter what any of our parents, friends, anybody has to say.” There’s a line that kinda sums it up: “Well hold on tight, stay up all night ‘cause Rosie I’m comin’ on strong. By the time we meet the morning light, I will hold you in my arms. I know a pretty little place in southern California down San Diego way. There’s a little café where they play guitars all night and all day. You can hear ‘em in the back room strummin’, so hold tight baby ‘cause don’t you know daddy’s comin’.”

I’ve Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Songs For Swingin’ Lovers! 1956. Capitol

This song falls into the category of great arrangement. This Cole Porter classic tune was arranged for Sinatra by Nelson Riddle. The story goes that he was still copying down parts for the players while riding in the cab to the recording studio on the day of recording. After the players ran through it once with Frank, they stood up and applauded. The Baritone sax takes control here, outlining a Db6/9 chord throughout the intro. Of course, Frank’s vocal delivery is spot on and goes up and down in all the right places for the biggest emotion impact. It’s amazing how a song with no real chorus can be so good.

A Change Is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

Ain’t That Good News. 1964. RCA Victor

This song was not even going to be on this list, but then I ran across it while scouring my collection of music and remembered how good it was. Then I listened to it and was blown away by the level of detail that went into this arrangement. Sam’s vocals soar above the mind blowingly beautiful arrangement. The lyrics to this one actually add to the tune itself, speaking of wrongdoings in the world around him, and how social change is on its way in the form of the civil rights movement. The song flows with such ease out of Cooke that one might forget the weightiness of the content, but the song’s content is just so heavy that it’s impossible to deny it.

Whatever – Oasis

Whatever EP. 1994. Creation

This song was released as a Christmas present to the U.K. from the Gallagher brothers and company. It never appeared on any full album, only being released as a single, and amazingly, it blows away anything else they’ve ever done. Think “All You Need Is Love,” but with tons of rocking energy and a snide, nonchalant attitude. The chorus speaks, “I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I choose and I’ll sing the blues if I want. I’m free to be whatever I, whatever I like, if it’s wrong or right, it’s alright.” Not exactly poetry, and the song isn’t exactly breaking any new ground either, but the song is absolutely perfect in every way, and it was going to be my #1, but perhaps the only reason it’s not at number one is because I’ve played this song so many times that at the moment, these next three are beating it, but who knows how I’ll feel in a few months. This song also pulls the same “outro performed by a string quartet” thing as “Does He Love You?” but even better. It’s so simple, but I can’t get enough of it.

Mr. Blue Sky – Electric Light Orchestra

Out of the Blue. 1977. Jet

This is obviously the best Beatles song that the Beatles never wrote. The staccato guitar during the verse combined with the strings present in just about every ELO song combine to make a force that is undeniably catchy and musically challenging at the same time. This is really what makes ELO so good. I didn’t discover this song till probably Nov. 2005, and it was one of the best days of my life. I didn’t want to include two songs by the same artist in my top 10, but if I did, I probably would’ve added “Turn To Stone” on this list too because it is almost as awesome as this one. It’s a shame that just like Billy Joel, most critics at the time hated ELO for being overly creative musically (they called it pretentiousness). These days we have acts that really are pretentious (see Radiohead), but everyone loves them, even critics. I’m not knocking all Radiohead, just most everything post OK Computer. Sorry, got a little sidetracked there.

Only In Dreams – Weezer

Weezer. 1994. Geffen

This has been my favorite Weezer song since about a month into me picking up Weezer’s debut album back around early 2000. It has this ostinato (a repeated motif over and over again) in the bass throughout most of the whole song, never even really resolving to the Gb major chord (excluding chorus, which never really resolves) that it wants to until the end of a 3 minute contrapuntal guitar duet when everything dies out except the bass which just retards on its own until it finally plays the single Gb we’ve all been waiting for. The song on the whole up until the guitar duet is pretty tame, but once those contrapuntal guitar lines start intertwining, my ears perk up every time. I can sing both lines at separate times upon request and when the drums finally kick back in fully at the climax of the song, I let out a sigh of relief or bang on my car wheel in exultant joy, whichever is more of an option at the time.

All Is Forgiven – Jellyfish

Spilt Milk. 1993. Charisma

I always loved this song from the first time I heard it, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until maybe April 2006. I found out about Jellyfish first semester of college in the Fall of ’02 and heard this song, and knew it was great. The constant tom-tom driven drums, the fuzzy, almost white noise distorted guitar, and the half time bass throughout. It was great. Then in April I put it on my mp3 player for the walk to school, and then I listened to it for about two weeks straight. Seriously. It runs into the next song entitled “Russian Hill” which is almost as good, but because it’s a separate song, I couldn’t include it on the list, but in my mind, they always run together and are basically one long 9 minute song. The ending just gets more and more white noise filled until you can barely take it anymore and then it just cuts off completely into the slow acoustic intro for Russian Hill. It’s perfect in every way. I think this would fall into the category of great song. And the way the song builds up right to the middle of the song and then cuts out completely except for some very VERY faint xylophone noodling, and then busts back in with some feedback directly into guitar solo. Man I love this song.

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shaineybainey · 4 years ago

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“Noble Intentions”

Lab Rats [T]

The Lab Rats and Mighty Med teams face off with the greatest threat to humanity yet: The Incapacitator, a supervillain bent on becoming the most powerful in the planet. …Which makes things super awkward for Leo, considering that their newest nemesis is his father. AU. Lab Rats vs Mighty Med redux.

** DISCLAIMER: SEE CHAPTER ONE FOR DISCLAIMER **

tagging: @vcnting @serpent-princess @clockradio93 @verified-dumbass @weareoutofmaplesyrupdave @aaaaahhhhh1234 @neshatriumphs @lettersandwhiteroses

Special shout-out to @vcnting, @neshatriumphs, @clockradio93, and @verified-dumbass for the kind responses. I really appreciate you all.

TW: mentions death of loved ones, allusions to crime

VII: The Night of Infinite Hours, Side A

Leo wonders if he should go out. It’s already late at night, about 10:49 PM, and the house lies in relative silence. Relative, because he can still hear faint echoes of tools being used down in what he assumes is the garage.

On the one hand, he has a gauge on his father’s whereabouts. If the music of a man at work stops, then he can just hurry back into the room.

On the other hand, his father has the nose of a bloodhound when it comes to things not being right. He can teleport, too. In one second, he can be up there and…

Leo doesn’t know. Before today, he used to think that although his father will hurt many, he will never hurt him. He still thinks his father cares about his safety and that he loves him, but now that thought has all turned acrid and defiled. He doesn’t know anymore if he’ll just get yelled at, get a gentle reproof, or actually get hurt.

He shakes his head. Maybe not the last one. Besides today, his father’s never laid a hand on him once. His father did acknowledge that he overdid it. He will probably never do it again.

Finding that good enough, he leaves the room, the shackle on his ankle lying on the floor with the few hairpins he’d found scattered under the rug. He looks out the door – right, left – and then comes to the hallway.

He realizes then that he doesn’t really have a destination. Where can he go? He’s free and outside. There must be someplace he could go to.

Then again, his father never showed him around the house – at least not yet. He talked about a sewing room downstairs where his uncle used to sleep in. He assumes the kitchen is somewhere downstairs, too.

From the sound of it, the garage is farther away yet still connected to the house.

He cautiously peers over the banister to check for any movement down the stairs. Nothing. He hears a song from the 70’s (Motown, he thinks, which has been playing since late afternoon). There’s also still the sound of tools being used.

Finding it safe, he crosses quickly and sticks closer to the walls.

In his wandering, he finds a locked room, a closet, the bathroom, and another room he assumes is locked also. Out of curiosity, he tries it.

He startles a little when the knob clicks open.

After checking behind him for company, he sneaks inside. There’s a light switch, but he doesn’t think it smart to call that much attention to his presence there. Straining his eyes around the dark room, he notices light from the moon shining through the window that the curtain has left exposed.

He carefully closes the door behind him, wincing as it squeaks when leaving it partly ajar. Finding it still safe, he heads over to the window then pulls it open.

“Ugh…” Leo mutters quietly as he does his best not to cough. Dust rains down the floor, and the palpable scent of mildew and mold dominates the air.

Still, the night sheds a different picture of the room. Under the silver glow, Leo sees that he’s found a nursery-turned-library. There’s a big shelf displaying photographs and a variety of books: cookbooks, story books, fiction. There are even some notebooks wedged in here and there.

Right beside it is a crib, unused for so many years.

Across the room, close to the window is a rocking chair. Sitting right beside it is the smaller shelf, a bunny stuffed toy on top, guarding the storybooks packed within.

It’s then he sees a toy flashlight. He takes a chance, and under the light of the night he shakes it then switches it on.

For some reason, it works.

Leo grins, victorious. He doesn’t know how long the battery will last so he resumes snooping.

He checks the smaller bookshelf first. He almost chuckles reading the titles: The Lorax by Dr. Seuss; Frog and Toad are Friends; The Biggest House in the World. It’s strange to imagine his father as a four year-old, sitting with his grandmother as she rocks the rocking chair, listening to her read a story to him.

He guesses it’s because it’s discordant, too - like the room. Peace versus war. Innocence versus knowing the world too much. It’s still hard to imagine that a quiet and normal life like that existed for his father before all of this.

Intrigued, he draws out The Biggest House in the World. It surprises him to see the name of the author: Leo Lionni. His mother told him that his father wasn’t present during his birth, and his father really didn’t appear in his life until he was six.

Still, he finds it a little funny that he shares the same name of the author who had some influence on his father’s childhood.

He opens the book up, intent to read, when he notices an odd spacing between the floorboards. It’s not very noticeable that he’s even surprised he caught it. It stands out, though, so much so that it presses on his curiosity until he can’t take it anymore.

So, he puts the book away then investigates.

Since the majority of it is stuck underneath, he carefully lifts the spinning shelf then moves it aside. He checks behind him for his dad, finds that the door is still as he’s left it, and then proceeds with his plan.

He sticks the nail on his right thumb in the slim space then attempts to lift it. It takes a couple of tries, but thankfully it’s loose enough that it eventually comes off.

When it does, he’s greeted by insulation foam, still firm but also yellowed with time. He pulls on it, unsatisfied.

It pays off. It comes with a soft tug and reveals a space as wide as a hand span and as deep as a hand span and a half. Tucked cozily within is a black safety box.

However, what wakes him up fully is the emblem on it: two Ms, one teal, one white.

Mighty Med.

“What?” he whispers. The hinges give the softest of squeals when he opens it.

Its contents are underwhelming yet still intriguing. There are folded pieces of paper; a couple of cards that he assumes are credentials; some photographs; and a few pins that glint under the flashlight.

He picks up a card wedged inside a folded paper. The ID has considerably yellowed under the lamination, but the print is still legible. In fact, the picture on it has been left clear enough by time that he can still see how similar he looks to the man on it.

Dr. Hezekiah Castle, the name on it says. Chief Neurologist.

The simpler but unmistakably similar symbol of Mighty Med pops out at him.

Is this really Pops? I thought his name was Harold Jones? Was he a doctor at Mighty Med? Leo wonders. From his father’s stories, he’d always gotten the impression that his grandfather worked as a desk clerk in a local office. Never a doctor.

Now he wonders if what his father told him is just something he was made to believe.

Putting the ID back, he picks up a photograph next. It shows the same man, but this time there’s a woman with him. He’s hugging her from behind, both of them smiling brightly at the person taking the picture as they lean on the hood of a sea green Cadillac.

He turns it over and sees the note: To my darling one – I love you, my love, with all my heart. You’ll forever be the ‘solstice’ of my life.

A frown furrows his brows. Solstice.

Why was that emphasized?

He pockets the picture, sure that his grandparents wouldn’t mind him keeping a picture of them as a young couple. He finds another ID in the box—but this one is sturdier, more proud and pronounced.

There isn’t a picture, just a name: Doris Snow. NASA. West Area Computers.

The information that rushes in like riptide stuns Leo. He was told that his grandfather was an office worker, his grandmother a housewife who was beloved by many of their neighbors and friends. Now he’s finding out they weren’t who they seemed? That they were actually, respectively, a respected neurologist and a genius mathematician?

Voracious for more of their life, he leafs through the box for any other interesting finds. He finds a letter from his grandmother to his grandfather a few days after his father was born. He also finds an enamel pin that looked like a ricocheting shooting star.

He glances behind him, finds no one there, and decides he’ll look at one more paper before heading back. He picks up one, tucked underneath the pile, and opens it, expecting to find another handwritten memo.

His brows furrow as he sees the typewritten letter, which comes as a shock of crudeness after all the personal documents he’s seen. He skims it, expecting nothing.

Then, ice washes over him.

He shuts the letter close.

No. He didn’t read that. It kind of makes sense, but…

His brain buzzes. There are questions, puzzle pieces, and answers that fly around like a tornado in his head.

The words stick out: proposal for a special unit; Doris Snow (codename: Solstice); for the benefit of earth.

League of Heroes.

Incredulous, he opens the letter again and reads it closely.

He was right. He read it all correctly. It’s a letter of confirmation for potential recruits.

A letter of confirmation drafted by a superhero named Solstice.

Out of panic, he stuffs everything back in and closes the box. No. He can’t look at all of this right now. Does his father even know these exist? It’s buried under the floorboard, in a place only his grandparents would know to access. And his dad never mentioned any of this.

Did he not mention because he didn’t know? Or did he choose not to mention because he deviated from the trajectory of his whole family on purpose, and he didn’t want him to know?

He does his best to remain steady, even putting the flashlight down to work faster. However, his grip on the floorboard isn’t as strong as he thinks.

It lands with a thunk!

He grimaces, hissing at his clumsiness, and continues his work in the dark. His father can’t know he’s here, can’t know what he knows. He places the board back on the slot successfully then lifts up the smaller, swiveling bookshelf back into its place.

By the time he sits back on the heels of his feet, his heart is beating so loud that it drowns every other sound.

He takes a moment to calm his nerves. Then, he picks up the flashlight, setting the snail storybook on his lap.

“How’d you get out?”

Leo gasps, spinning around. He finds his father standing at the door, light from downstairs flooding past his feet. His chest prickles at the fear. Has he seen him and the box?

Joel flicks the light switch on, and for a minute Leo doubts the anger he thinks he sees on his father’s face. Joel looks around the room, and then he smiles. “You found the library.”

“I…I-I was just…” But the words don’t come out of his mouth.

Joel sighs, the smile on his face unmoving. “If you wanted out of your room, you could have just told me.”

“Dad, you chained me to the floor and told me I was a hostage,” he points out, now indignant. “Hostages don’t get the option of requesting out.”

“Come on, Leo. You know your case is different. I would have let you go a bit if you wanted to look around the house.”

Leo resists the urge to glare. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the nerves or because he’s tired, but his father irritates him highly now.

“Hey.” Joel grins as he comes and sits beside him. “You found Uncle RT’s favorite storybook. You know, he used to ask your Nana to read that to him every night. And Nana always did, like it’s the first time she’s reading it to him. She’s so patient. We even had the French version of this. That’s why RT is so cocky. He thinks because he can speak French that he’s better than me.”

Nana. He turns his eyes down to the storybook and pretends to examine it. “Did Nana stay here with you and Uncle RT the whole time?” he ventures to ask.

“Mm-hm. Pops thought it was better for her to just stay with us and watch over us rather than go to work.”

“Like a housewife.”

“Yeah.”

He nods slowly, halfheartedly turning the page. “It would be nice if Mom did that, too. If she stayed home with me.”

“Well, she had to take care of you both. She didn’t…well, she didn’t have me like Nana had Pops.”

Leo looks at his father and stares thoughtfully. “If things were different – you know, if people weren’t evil, and Pops and Nana lived, and you still met Mom, would you…would you have married her?”

Joel chuckles humorlessly. “I know your mom probably hates my guts for running out on you both, but I knew neither of you would have normal lives with me in it. I’ve made many enemies; there’s no way any of them would leave you alone, or alive. That’s why I had to leave.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

His father looks at him for a long moment. Then, he smiles. “I would have,” he says. “If I have to marry her every day just to make up for how I’ve hurt her, I will. But things are different now, and there’s no undoing what’s been done.”

“Shakespeare would be jealous of this tragedy.”

Joel smirks at his son. “I still can’t work out how you got out.”

“I’d tell you, but I might need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, so…”

Joel laughs.

With the room freer of tension, confidence fills Leo more. Still, he knows to be cautious. He makes a show of looking around the room before commenting, “With how nice this room is, I would have pegged Nana to be an interior designer or a librarian. Or, unless Pops was the one to put everything together.”

“No, they worked on it together when they found out they were going to have me.”

“Did they…” He hesitates. Will it be too direct? “Did they know you and Uncle RT might have some abilities when you grow up?”

Joel searches his face, eyes lightly narrowing. “Why’d you ask?”

Leo shrugs nonchalantly, hoping his father isn’t hearing the klaxon going off in his head. “Because, you know, you were kind of trying to see if I had them, too, when I was still, like, six.”

Joel laughs, bringing Leo some relief. “I only did that because I had them when I was young. Genetically, it was possible I passed something to you.”

“Well, maybe it won’t skip Uncle RT’s kids like it did with me.”

“Oh, I doubt you’d have any cousins. At least on my side,” Joel says, distracted by the opened window now. “That’s what absent superheroes took from him: they took away my trust in them forever, they took away his desire to have kids of his own. He’s afraid of leaving them suddenly like Nana and Pops left us.”

“Nana and Pops weren’t superheroes.”

“No. They were super basic, and super boring.” His father’s smile grows as he thinks back on his parents fondly. “But they were my favorite. Now, come on. It’s late. You have to get to bed. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

Leo gets back to his feet, following his father’s lead. “Big day, like…?”

“You’ll see,” Joel cryptically responds, pulling the curtain back on the window with a smirk.

Leo watches him closely. Suddenly, the same dread he felt when Bree told him Chase was attacked looms in his gut again. It occurs to him then that one of the reasons his father took him there was to use him against the superheroes.

Will tomorrow have something to do with that?

“Leo?”

“Oh! Okay, yeah I’m coming,” he says, turning off the lights then closing the door on his way out.

His father eyes the storybook tucked between his arm and his hip. “You’re not going to ask me to read that to you, are you?” he jokes.

“I’m 17. I can read storybooks on my own now,” Leo returns playfully.

Twenty minutes later, his father is back downstairs at the garage to wrap up. Meanwhile, he sits on the bed, his feet free of any binds this time, and he stares at the book his uncle loved as a child.

However, despite the huge snail on the cover, all he can focus on is the picture of his grandparents that he hid behind the wall of the book.

Solstice. His father doesn’t seem to know about her or who she might have been. To Joel Jones, she was nonexistent.

To him, though, her identity is very much alive and sure. She was Mrs. Doris Jones to many in the neighborhood, a housewife who raised her boys while her husband went to work.

But in reality, she was a Mathematician who worked at NASA, who at one point in her life met a neurologist perhaps during her career as a superhero.

And it seems her oldest child is not fully aware that his abilities were something he inherited from her.

All of us are hiding something, he tells his grandparents as they grin at him from the photograph.

Goosebumps creep up his forearms. Secrets.

Now he wonders if their deaths were truly a result of a random act of crime.

#Lab Rats #Mighty Med #chapter seven #Noble Intentions #Leo Dooley #The Incapacitator #OC

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randomvarious · 4 years ago

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Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam - “Lost in Emotion” I Know What Boys Like! Song released in 1987. Compilation released in 1996. Pop / Freestyle

From an old biography on Billboard.com:

Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam were one of the most musically diverse and successful recording acts of the '80s. With hits produced and written by Full Force, the six-man performing/songwriting/production team from East Flatbush/Brooklyn, NY, they scored million-selling hits with dance-based tracks ("I Wonder if I Take You Home"), beautiful ballads ("All Cried Out"), and unabashed pop tunes ("Head to Toe," "Lost in Emotion"). They were one of the early exponents of what later became hip-hop R&B. With five gold singles, two number one singles on both the R&B and the pop charts, two platinum albums, and inclusions on various compilations and movie soundtracks, Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam were the most successful act of Full Force's "One Big Family" roster of acts.

A constant theme throughout Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam’s history is the influence of Motown. Motown music is what seemingly brought them together and it’s what ultimately led them to achieve gargantuan levels of success throughout the 80s and early 90s. But it all started in 1984 with a struggling New York-based hip hop / R&B / funk / electro band called Full Force. They couldn’t get a label to bite and decided that they needed a change in direction. Having witnessed the success of R&B boy band New Edition, who were transparently packaged as an 80s rehash of the Jackson 5 (a new edition, if you will, of a Motown group), the members of Full Force formed an idea that they thought was sure to hit: an 80s rehash of The Supremes (an all-girl Motown group!). Full Force would write, produce, play the music, and provide backing vocals while a group of girls would take care of the main singing parts.

Full Force percussionist and roadie, Mike Hughes, would then come upon a 17-year old girl named Lisa Velez at a New York club called The Funhouse, which is also where Madonna ended up being discovered. Velez, who had visions of pop stardom, was a member of a traveling troupe in school that performed Motown hits and showtunes. Initially impressed by her looks, Hughes would invite her to an audition at a house in Brooklyn where three brothers from Full Force resided. Velez wouldn’t tell her protective older brother (she had nine siblings, by the way!), probably out of fear of him denying her request that she be allowed to go, and hopped on the D train to chase her dreams.

But it wasn’t all initially hunky dory. In fact, Velez’s first time meeting Full Force was rather creepy. From a 1988 interview and profile of Lisa Lisa in Spin:

...”I sit on a stool in the basement, and I’m looking around, and I see pictures of these big, big guys. Six big guys. I’m saying to myself, ‘Oh shit, they’re gonna kill me.’ I didn’t know what to think. I had just met Mike. Enter the six big guys, and I almost shit in my pants. Paul Anthony was the first one to come up to me, and he bent down and he kissed me and he says, ‘God, you’re very pretty.’ That’s when I thought, ‘Oh Jesus, he’s gonna rape me now.’”

But her fears were soon alleviated.

...Lisa started to sing. “She was singing this song that Mike Hughes wrote for her to do,” says Lou George, “and it wasn’t kicking at all. It was horrible, plain and simple. Because it had her singing so off-key, because the way the song was written, she was singing all off. I was just laughing until my tears came down because of the fact that she was off and Mike had wrote it, and it was just so funny the way the notes was going. And I was by the bathroom crying in tears, and Lisa couldn’t see me.

“Then she sang ‘For Your Eyes Only,” [the theme song from the 1981 James Bond flick] and that’s what got it. Everything fell into place.

Full Force would end up auditioning more girls, but in Velez they had found the Diana Ross piece to their 80s Supremes puzzle: an attractive young woman blessed with a high-pitched and innocent-sounding voice that MTV-watching teenybopper types could fawn over and try to emulate. Rather than wait to fill out the rest of the group with more singers, Velez and Full Force got to recording. She would be given the stage name Lisa Lisa, a sort of play on the Full Force-produced, 1984 breakthrough hip hop hit, “Roxanne, Roxanne” by UTFO. Mike Hughes and a guitarist and bassist who was associated with Full Force named Alex “Spanador” Moseley would make up Cult Jam. LL&CJ would then debut in 1985, finding decent chart success in a platinum-selling album with songs like “I Wonder If I Take You Home,” “Can You Feel the Beat,” and “All Cried Out,” the last of which would reach the top ten in the US. A couple years later, they followed up with Spanish Fly, achieving platinum status again thanks to two chart-topping pop singles, “Head to Toe” and “Lost in Emotion.” Both songs would be noted for their clear infusion of Motown influence.

“Lost in Emotion” really is just a perfect piece of sun-drenched 80s pop. And yet, despite the fact that it’s clearly such a bop, and that it reached #1, it still feels a bit overlooked today. Throughout all my years of listening to the classic pop and rock radio format, I feel like I’ve never heard it on there. Similarly, I also feel like I don’t see it included on all that many 80s mixes or playlists. I mean, this song has over 4 million plays on Spotify, which is a lot, but “Straight Up” by Paula Abdul, which hit #1 the following year, and has that same type of young and innocent girl vocal affect, has over 40 million plays. They’re both good songs, no doubt, but go listen to both of them back to back and tell me which one holds up better today. The answer is “Lost in Emotion” and I will fight you if you disagree.

Ultimately, this song reflects a fantastically catchy pairing of an in vogue and upbeat, poppy freestyle sound with old chunks of Motown mixed in. Alongside slapping percussion, flooding synthesizers, and twinkling, sort of tropical-sounding melodies courtesy of a combination of xylophones and bells, Full Force divine their main inspiration for this song from a pair of Mary Wells hits (she was a Motown star!), “Two Lovers” and “You Beat Me to the Punch.” And if you listen to those songs, you can hear the bits and pieces that ended up motivating Full Force to write “Lost in Emotion.”

But this sweet 80s jam struts with more than just Motown flair. The main, funky bassline that undergirds the whole thing has a definite Ben E. King “Stand by Me” feel to it, which is still 60s, but not Motown, and the extended bridge section, which also contains a nice sax solo, showcases even more glints of non-Motown 60s sounds. The male bass baritone backing vocal that briefly swoops in the outro portion is a clear callback to doo-wop groups of the 50s and 60s, which wasn’t Motown’s lane, and Lisa Lisa also appears to give tribute to Del Shannon with her own backing vocal by briefly wailing an “aye-yai-yai,” mimicking the iconic “why-why-why” from the early 60s rock-and-roll-pop masterpiece, “Runaway.” It’s these combinations of Lisa Lisa’s naturally nubile voice, not to mention her sheer attractiveness, along with Full Force’s expert mixing of both old and contemporary sounds that would enable “Lost in Emotion” to be the most popular song in the US during the summer of 1987. It’s also a tune which proves that, when done right, Motown doesn’t go out of style. At least it clearly hadn’t by then.

Of course, there was a music video for “Lost in Emotion,” too, which plainly shows Lisa Lisa lip syncing the whole song as she and her friends move through a crowded street fair rigged with carnival games and a stage, which Lisa Lisa graces at the end. According to Wikipedia, it was the fourth-most played video in 1987 on MTV.

youtube

An absolute classic banger of an 80s pop song that shows Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam at their peak. You ignore this flawless summer earworm at your own peril.

#pop #pop music #freestyle #freestyle music #music #80s #80s music #80's #80's music #80s pop #80's pop #80s pop music #80's pop music #classic pop #80s freestyle #80's freestyle #80s freestyle music #80's freestyle music

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captain-sodapop · 5 years ago

Text

So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking (uh-oh), and here’s the thing:

Most people agree that The Outsiders takes place in either 1965 or 1966. I always went with ‘66, and I’m too entrenched in that to think otherwise now, but I can see ‘65, too. Anyways, so it’s probably one of those two years. Now, if you know me, you know I’m a big Beatles fan, and I’m even taking an entire college course about them (almost unnecessarily for me, but it’s fun, okay?), so I kinda like to poke fun at the greasers for this quote:

“They liked the Beatles and thought Elvis Presley was out, and we thought the Beatles were rank and that Elvis was tuff, but that seemed the only difference to me.”

I mean - okay. Okay. Let’s start with the two most obvious things:

1. The Beatles are not rank.

2. Elvis was definitely out. He had been drafted at the end of the 1950s, and that was a part of the death of that era of rock, along with the death of Buddy Holly and Jerry Lee Lewis being blacklisted as a pervert and Chuck Berry going to jail...it was the end of an era, and the gang would have been kids when that was happening, middle school-aged at the oldest, compared to say...John Lennon being about eighteen. Ponyboy especially would have been very young when Buddy Holly died.

So what did that leave them with between 1958 and when The Beatles came in 1964? Well, obviously, people still kept listening to that rock music from the fifties, which I guess that the gang was still listening to the stuff they remembered from when they were kids, because I can’t exactly imagine Dallas Winston doing the Twist, or Steve voluntarily listening to The Skyliners. There’s Hank Williams, but Ponyboy and Dally hate his music, he had been dead since 1953, and implied that liking his music made you out of touch (”He [Buck Merill] was out of it. He dug Hank Williams - how gross can you get?”) But country and western music would have been - and is - huge in Oklahoma. It was the days of the Grand Ole Opry, which was popular nationwide. Then there’s the folk movement, which by the time of the book/movie had morphed into the folk-rock movement thanks to Bob Dylan, The Byrds, Simon and Garfunkel, etc. But that came a little after The Beatles; the folk movement pre-1964 would have mostly been Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Peter, Paul, and Mary, Pete Seeger, and the Kingston Trio. Those guys. However, folk music was kind of an “educated” genre, and probably wouldn’t have appealed to a bunch of young guys living on the wrong side of the tracks in Tulsa, Oklahoma, even though the father of folk music - Woody Guthrie - was an Okie himself. Then there was obviously still guys like Frank Sinatra, Perry Como, and Dean Martin, who even socs would view as being “parent music,” so they’re out at the jump.

So they don’t like classic crooners. The gang probably didn’t get the appeal of folk music. At least a couple of them don’t seem to be too into country. Probably weren’t into new pop and dance music. And they don’t like The Beatles. So, yeah, I guess the gang and other greasers were hanging onto rockabilly and fifties rock, and I’d be interested in whether or not they might be into Motown/soul/blues (which would have been referred to, especially in the south, as “race music.”) They were into that greaser music, but by the mid-sixties, greasers weren’t really a thing, ya know? It was folkies and the pre-hippie era, which would reach it’s peak in the late sixties, so not too long after the book (they get mentioned in That Was Then, This Is Now, which is in the same universe and even has Ponyboy in it).

Here’s what I’m getting at: from what we can get from Pony’s telling of the world around him, he and his friends aren’t into modern music. They’re behind the times. Just by saying in 1965/66 that he and his friends are still into Elvis while the socs are into The Beatles almost makes them anachronistic. Now, obviously this book was written during that time period, so this is probably an accurate reflection of the kids in Tulsa at that time, which makes this even more interesting. The Beatles have proven to be a timeless band for anybody from all walks of life, cultural leaders of the decade. Parents didn’t like them in much the same way they didn’t like Elvis. They were the rebellious choice!

Until the Rolling Stones got big.

Stones fans were the real rebels. The Beatles were tame in comparison. I can see the gang getting into them completely. But The Beatles came first, and that still leaves the gang in a lag, and there are a few things that absolutely baffle me.

It’s probably my bias showing through, but let’s say the book takes place in 1965. It’s also been widely agreed upon that it takes place in the fall, so in the fall of 1965, Rubber Soul hadn’t been released yet, but there was still Please Please Me, With The Beatles, A Hard Day’s Night, and Beatles for Sale. All of those albums have pop, Motown, soul, and blues music on them. Something for everybody, and a great movie to boot. That is already a lot of great, innovative music, and it’s not even the group’s peak of innovation. It would be a little weird, in the fall of 1965, to not like The Beatles. Not liking The Beatles didn’t make you cool back then (which I guess is another thing that makes the greasers outcasts. A trivial thing, but also kinda not. We’ll return to that in a minute.)

Now, let’s imagine the book takes place in the fall of 1966. Not only did you have all the albums I just listed, but Help!, with the accompanying movie, Rubber Soul, and Revolver. Fucking Rubber Soul and Revolver! Both of which have allusions and overt references to drug use, politics, and spirituality. They were vastly influential and rebellious and so, so different than anything else on the radio that by the fall of 1966, if you didn’t like The Beatles by then, it really was a matter of what the fuck is wrong with you? By the fall of 1966, Elvis and his contemporaries were indeed an influence and important, a gateway for these guys, but we were two years away from his comeback. He wasn’t relevant. Preferring him over The Beatles and the rest of the bands from Britain just wasn’t the thing to do.

To me, all of this is so revealing. It’s a tiny detail, a throwaway comment made by Ponyboy early in the book as being the only difference he could see between greasers and socs, but it tells us so much. It is yet another thing that alienates Ponyboy, his friends, and the guys on his side of town from the upper class in Tulsa. To like The Beatles would probably mean conformity to them, which is such a surface-level take on them, but to them, the guys that you see on Ed Sullivan singing songs from The Music Man in suits probably don’t seem very rock-and-roll at first. In fact, the way they dressed was probably extremely off-putting for blue-collar guys like the Curtis brothers and Two-Bit Mathews (who had sideburns before John, Paul, George, and Ringo decided they were cool ;). Their dislike makes them look stuck in the past and the socs look progressive, when really the socs are just keeping up with the times (which were admittedly progressive, so culturally, the socs were “with it”, which is a commodity of the upper class, to be educated culturally. But The Beatles were pretty accessible, let’s not pretend they weren’t.) They have made a judgement based on appearances and surface level stuff, the very same thing they accuse the socs of doing to them.

With just this one comment about musical preferences, we see a reflection of the situation around them. They were digging in their heels. The socs are certainly just as guilty of their part in the class war, but in my eyes, this one line shows the greasers as the ones least willing to budge, stuck in their ways, stuck in the past. I mean, who later approaches them to organize a rumble to resolve this issue once and for all? Cherry and the rest of the socs. It also reveals them as being left behind. The world around them is moving forward without them, and in order to catch up, they’re going to have to face their adversaries. But what happens when you do that? The rumble victory didn’t mean as much as they thought it would. Did things cool off? Yes. But I don’t think that has anything to do with winning the rumble. I think it has more to do with everybody realizing that things should have never gotten to that point. Then everything just sort of awkwardly comes to a point where you look around and decide it’s time to grow up and put your differences aside as best you can. You grow up.

But the greasers are still lower class. They can’t change that. It doesn’t matter that they won, just like Randy, with his semi-Beatle haircut, predicted. They’ve grown up, and they can see now that winning the battle doesn’t mean they’ve won the war, and they likely never will.

So what do you do?

Well, you pick yourself up. You realize they’re well-off and you’re poor, and those things are hard to change, are systematic, so what’s the point in the grudge? It’s exhausting, anyways. You stop putting grease in your hair. You take off the leather jackets. You probably keep your switchblade, but as a tool, not a threat - in fact, you’re thinking a multi-tool might be more practical. You look around and think it might be better to identify as just an Okie - everybody in Oklahoma is an Okie, anyways. You realize Elvis isn’t cool anymore. You get in your old pickup, you turn on the radio, and you don’t change the station when Tomorrow Never Knows comes on.

You start liking The Beatles.

#the outsiders #the beatles #elvis presley #abby speaks #oh wow this ended up somewhere completely different than I thought it was going when I started #it kinda came out a bit depressing #oops!

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sdohertys · 5 years ago

Photo

GENERAL:

NAME: Scarlett Marina Kaufman Doherty

NICKNAME: Some people call her Scar, much to her irritation. It’s not even a cute nickname.

BIRTHDAY: January 16

AGE: 34.

GENDER: Cis Female.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Petaluma, California.

PLACES LIVED SINCE: Oakland, CA; Walnut Creek, CA

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Walnut Creek, CA

NATIONALITY: American.

ETHNICITY: Ashkenazi Jewish.

PARENTS’ NAMES: Adina and Vadim Kaufman.

NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: None.

PERSONALITY TYPE: ESTP- A - THE ENTREPRENEUR

body image mention, abandonment, death (cancer)

RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY: Strained. One-sided. Basically non-existent. When Scarlett hit her teen years, she’d come to the conclusion that her mother wanted a child, but she didn’t want to be a mother to that child. Their conversations consisted mainly of Scarlett’s appearance and body image, pushing her to be the most prim and proper of ladies. Her mother never called her beautiful. Vadim, on the other hand, was never around to have a real conversation with his daughter, having gone out to meet with his mistress of the year. Might as well not even have a father. She’s cut herself off from her family to the point where she legally changed her last name so she could pretend she was not related to them. After getting many phone calls from her mom when she first moved away, Scarlett changed her phone number and blocked her mom from every social media platform.

CHILDHOOD TRAUMA: When Adina found out about her husband’s many affairs, she blamed Scarlett’s birth, having said that if she never gave birth to Scarlett perhaps her figure could still be desirable enough for her husband. She then proceeded to send ten year old Scarlett away to live with a Filipino couple in their mid-50s in Oakland, who raised her until she turned 17. Scarlett continued to feel unwanted by her own mother.

PHYSICAL:

HEIGHT: 5′4″

WEIGHT: 120 lbs.

BUILD: Slim and petite.

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown.

USUAL HAIR STYLE: She styles it differently every other day, but when she’s concentrating, she pulls it back in a high ponytail. When it’s down, the length is just two inches below her shoulder blades.

EYE COLOR: Her right eye is green-blue and her left eye is a hazel color.

GLASSES? CONTACTS?: Neither.

STYLE OF DRESS/TYPICAL OUTFIT(S): Scarlett dresses in very trendy, designer clothing. A casual coffee outfit would be a cream colored blouse with dark wash skinny jeans and a pair of brown booties, with her hair in a messy bun and gold hoop earrings.

TYPICAL STYLE OF SHOES: High heels.

JEWELRY? TATTOOS? PIERCINGS?: She got her belly button pierced in high school, and she also has her ears typically pierced.

SCARS: She has a scar toward the back of her neck, right below her ear from trying to cut her own hair when she was nine years old. Her mother was less than pleased, to say the least.

UNIQUE MANNERISMS/PHYSICAL HABITS: She’ll lick her lips almost every time she takes a sip of coffee. When she’s drinking wine, she likes to tap her index finger just below the rim.

ATHLETICISM: She’s not into fitness, like at all. She loves to eat and she loves to drink. Her main source of exercise is walking for miles in her heels and running around stores.

HEALTH PROBLEMS/ILLNESSES: None.

INTELLECT:

LEVEL OF EDUCATION: High school diploma.

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: Fluent in both English and Russian, but English is her first language. She also can have conversational French. Conversational Tagalog also.

LEVEL OF SELF-ESTEEM: It had taken a while for Scarlett to be comfortable in her own skin, just because her entire life she was told by her mother that she was never good enough, never pretty enough, or smart enough. As she continued to build her business, slept around with as many people as she desired, her confidence grew. People tell her she’s beautiful, and she never disagrees.

GIFTS/TALENTS: Public speaking, flattering, styling and outfitting someone. Pretending her parents don’t exist.

MATHEMATICAL?: NOPE. The only time she’s mathematical is when she’s figuring out how much she’ll save on a sale.

MAKES DECISIONS BASED MOSTLY ON EMOTIONS, OR ON LOGIC?: Both, I wanna say. Scarlett can be impulsive and controlling at times, but that’s driven by anger, irritation and lust. She usually cuts off most emotions when it comes to people.

LIFE PHILOSOPHY: When you don’t have your shit together, you have to dress like you do.

RELIGIOUS STANCE: She was raised Jewish but she’s not particularly religious.

CAUTIOUS OR DARING?: Daring.

MOST SENSITIVE ABOUT/VULNERABLE TO: Her childhood. Having moved across the country where hardly anyone knew her at the age of eighteen, it was a chance to have a fresh start.

OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST?: Pessimist.

EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual.

PAST RELATIONSHIPS: ( cancer tw, death tw)Scarlett has only ever had one serious relationship when she was 25. He was the definition of the perfect boyfriend, everything she thought she should want but nothing seemed right. Two years into their relationship, he proposed and impulsively she accepted believing she was in love with him. Just days later she regretted her decision. Thinking she would catch wedding fever, she stuck to the engagement and continued to plan out the wedding but emotionally became distant from her fiance. A year into their engagement they were married, and just six months after they finally wed, she decided she was going to divorce him. She met with an attorney and was near ready to serve the papers when he told her he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer. He fought for 7 months. She’s harbored a substantial amount of guilt knowing that as he was dying, she wanted to leave him.

Nothing else is worth mentioning. She usually keeps her relationships casual, hardly sleeps with anyone more than twice, and even that’s pushing it.

PRIMARY REASON FOR BEING BROKEN UP WITH: Emotionally distant, doesn’t want another serious relationship.

PRIMARY REASONS FOR BREAKING UP WITH PEOPLE: Doesn’t want a serious relationship.

EVER CHEATED?: No, not at all. She would never do that to someone because she saw the damage her father did from his multiple affairs.

BEEN CHEATED ON: No. Other than her three year relationship, she hasn’t been in a relationship serious enough for it to get to that point.

LEVEL OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: She doesn’t date, but she frequently has one night stands.

STORY OF FIRST KISS: Her first kiss was with her best friend in 8th grade during a sleepover when she suggested that they should kiss since Scarlett said she was bored.

STORY OF LOSS OF VIRGINITY: It’s nothing exciting. In fact, it’s quite cliche which she hates. She lost her virginity the night of Junior Prom with a guy she had AP Bio with.

A SOCIAL PERSON?: Superficially, yes, but he’s very particular with who he deems as a close friend.

MOST COMFORTABLE AROUND: A bottle of red wine.

OLDEST FRIEND: CONNECTION OPEN.

HOW DOES HE THINK OTHERS PERCEIVE HER?: Charismatic, witty, beautiful.

HOW DO OTHERS ACTUALLY PERCEIVE HER?: Brutal, pretentious, beautiful

SECRETS:

LIFE GOALS: Still up in the air.

DREAMS: To be a stylist on a Hollywood-type of level.

GREATEST FEARS: Not living an exciting life/growing complacent.

MOST ASHAMED OF: Her parents.

CRIMES COMMITTED (WAS HE CAUGHT? CHARGED?): Underage drinking, but I mean, lmao. She also stole a pair of shoes from a department store when she was 14, but was never caught.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD?: Night Owl.

LIGHT OR HEAVY SLEEPER?: Heavy sleeper.

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Eh.

FAVORITE FOOD: Sinigang and rice. Half of her childhood consisted of her learning how to make Filipino dishes because of who she lived with.

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Highkey salad. Highkey, anything vegan.

FAVORITE BOOK: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

LEAST FAVORITE BOOK: Doesn’t care enough to have a least favorite book.

FAVORITE MOVIE: She’ll say Roman Holiday but it’s really Terms of Endearment.

LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE: The Notebook.

FAVORITE SONG: Linger by The Cranberries but anything by Barry White. She loves Motown.

FAVORITE SPORT: She loves basketball and is biased toward the Golden State Warriors.

COFFEE OR TEA?: Wine. But coffee, yeah.

CRUNCHY OR SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER?: Crunchy.

TYPE OF CAR HE DRIVES: Silver Rolls Royce.

LEFTY OR RIGHTY?: Right-handed.

FAVORITE COLOR: Burgundy.

CUSSER?: All the time.

SMOKER? DRINKER? DRUG USER?: She used to smoke, but quit after she ended her engagement. But yes, drinker. Loves to drink. It’s her favorite hobby.

BIGGEST REGRET: Letting her marriage go on for too long.

PETS: None.

#about.

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b-afterhours · 5 years ago

Note

Bill and Star! Because Star is such a GREAT female character! 🌟

What they smell like:

Bill always smells like fresh laundy and sometimes like some generic men's cologne he picked up a department store that he’s had forever because he doesn’t use it enough.

Star always smells like dusky flower scent. Its deep and complex and could be mistaken for a cologne if it didn’t end in such a sweet note.

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc):

Star likes her space and Bills the cuddler. She doesn’t oppose it and she does cuddle back but she does complain about being too hot. They both like to stay up late even though Star is always reminding him that he’s got work in the morning hardly because she likes to spend that time with him.

What music they enjoy:

The like motown a lot like marvin gaye, stevie wonder, the temptations. And stuff like sam cooke, otis redding and carol king.

How much time they spend getting ready every morning:

Because of police training Bill can get ready in no time but Star can take a painfully long time. So long that if Bill plans something he tells her they have to leave an hour before they actually leave so that she can at least have 2 hours but even then he still has to rush her out the door sometimes.

Their favorite thing to collect:

With Bill it’s records. With Star she likes to collect tiny knick knacks like cool 1920s combs or lipstick tubes.

Left or right-handed:

Bill is right handed and Star is a left handed.

Religion (if any):

Neither of them follow any religion or are religious themselves. They’re kind of indifferent to it.

Favorite sport:

Bill likes basketball, he played a lot during police training during rec hours. Star had no clue about sports but she always mentions she likes how football players “bums” look in their “tights”.

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc):

They pretty much you’re average tourists. Star is always excited like a child when they leave the city. Always asking Bill to take pictures of her or asking strangers to take photos of them by some statue of a person significant to the small town they traveled to but have no clue who. Going upstate NY they ended up really liking to cabin lodge appreciating the green and the quiet.

I do headcanon that on their 3 yr anniversary Bill finally takes Star to California where they were beachside all day and cruise the malibu coast. They eventually move to california but live in NorCal basically in a forest town.

Favorite kind of weather:

They both like a chilly fall and a breezy cool spring in NYC. The summer is too muggy and steamy for them and the winters are just too cold for them.

A weird/obscure fear they have:

Star can't sleep if the curtain isn’t completely covering the window or if the closet door is even cracked. If she’s in bed and lights are out she will not leave because she’s scared of what's under the bed. Bill teases her about it but he’ll still turn a light on the nightstand if she nudges him so that she can go to the bathroom at night. Bill being a policeman is generally pretty fearless but he is scared that something could happen to him and that he won't be there for Star. He’s also scared of bees and wasps and rollie pollies.

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail:

Star hates carnival games because she’s not very good at them and she knows they’re set up for failure just so you can keep throwing cash at it. So she can’t help that when she loses or if Bill loses she starts to argue with the game operator. Bill just sticks to the basketball free throw game that he’s good at because he tries to avoid the arguments lol

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

#sftd blurbs #tags #bohemianfortunes #asks

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fearlyssa · 6 years ago

Text

Something to consider

In honor of Karlie’s birthday today here’s something for those who don't believe Taylor could be with Karlie because they chose to only believe Taylor’s own words: a list of the lyrics on Reputation (Taylor’s own words) that reference Karlie vs those that reference Joe. I tried my best to be impartial and include everything on both sides but just a warning it’s SUPER long! So if you don’t feel like reading it or don’t have the time then keep scrolling. But for anyone who’s interested here’s what I came up with (including explanations of the references and links if I have them; feel free to disagree or add any I missed, I tried to think of everything so I realize some may be a bit of a stretch)

Lyrics that point to Karlie:

Ready for it:

1. Younger than my exes (she’s 26 today, younger than most people Taylor has supposedly dated, male or female)

2. No one has to know (they’re closeted)

End Game:

3. We got big reputations (they’re both famous; Joe was relatively unknown until recently)

4. You and me would be a big conversation (they’re both famous and both women who are supposedly dating men so if they were found out - at least right now - it would cause a scandal)

Don't blame me:

5. I would cross the line, I would waste my time, I'd lose my mind

6. For you I would fall from grace, just to touch your face (This applies to the line above as well; her reputation would be ruined if people found out she was lying about her dating life causing her to “fall from grace” but she loves her enough to risk it by continuing to date her secretly)

7. I once was poison ivy but now I’m your Daisy (at first listen this line might sound like nothing more than a Mavel and/or Great Gatsby reference but according to this person they both like Marvel comics and check out how the daisy she drew in the handwritten lyrics in one of the Reputation magazines looks just like the one Karlie posted from their Big Sur trip in 2014. 👀

Delicate:

8. Dark jeans and your Nikes (she models for Adidas now but was doing Nike ads when they met)

9. Never seen that color blue (maybe a stretch but Karlie's eyes are a shade of green that can sometimes look blue so that may be a shade of blue she's never seen before. And I won’t add this to the list because it’s not Karlie-specific but the girls back home line is also not necessarily straight as lesbians and bisexuals, just like guys, date women and ‘back home’ can reference anyone who’s not from exactly where you’re from. They’re from different parts of the country for instance)

So it goes:

10. All eyes on us (they're both famous, have been on stage together three times and used to often be seen together by paps in public - which I do believe was on purpose; this line reminds me of the chorus of This is what you came for too)

11. Lipstick on your face (there's candids of Karlie with lipstick smudged on her face in pictures with Taylor from July 14th 2014 - as well as pictures of Taylor from her 25th birthday - and I believe another day too -, where she’s with Karlie and has on one shade of lipstick but a while has Karlie’s shade of lipstick smudged over hers and vice versa. Note how their lipstick looks in the top two photos from her birthday party compared vs the bottom two)

Gorgous:

12. I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk (the weird way Karlie says important)

13. Your magnetic field being a little too strong (they’re very physically affectionate with each other and often bump shoulders when sitting next to each other as if they literally have magnets in them)

14. I got a boyfriend, he's older than us (she often dates guys older than her and Karlie is younger than them and her. Imo it refers to her bearding with Calvin specifically)

15. You’re so Gorgeous I can’t say anything to your face (At VSFS 2013 where they first met Taylor looks in awe of her like she doesn’t know what to say. She definitely looks like she thinks she’s gorgeous and while the term could refer to anyone, it's usually a female descriptor and she's literally a model for a living who is known for her beauty and has, seemingly on purpose, used the word on IG right around when the song came out. And on an unrelated note I also want to point out that the ‘If you got a girlfriend’ line is not strictly male-oriented so although it’s not specifically Karlie-related it could still apply to a bisexual or lesbian woman)

King of my heart:

16. like trying on clothes (another somewhat female reference and she's a model so she does that for a living so therefore even more often than most people)

17. Move to me like a Motown beat (As mentioned in the caption of their IG post about it she & Karlie listened to Motown while getting ready for the Met Gala in 2014 so it's safe to say they’re both fans of the genre and enjoy listening to it together)

18. American queen (I know they're both American but Karlie has referred to her as an American dream before which you'll notice was the original lyrics when Taylor was writing & recording the song)

19. Your love is a secret I'm hoping, praying, dying to keep (this is pretty obvious but if she’s closeted then her love life is obviously a secret she’d want to keep)

20. Drinking beer out of plastic cups (I know this line is pretty general and she seems to be referring to a different time when she was up on a roof but it should be noted that the only time she’s been seen drinking beer in a plastic cup prior to the album coming out she was with Karlie)

Dress:

21. Our secret moments in a crowded room, they got no idea about me and you (you can see them having private moments at events in candid photos and videos such at award shows, the VSFS and at the 1975 concert. All times when tons of people were around but didn’t seem to notice or care if they were affectionate with each other because everyone knows they’re close and just thinks they’re friends)

22. Golden tattoo (they wore them together at Drake's birthday party last October. And maybe this is reaching but some of them were stars and “gold star” lesbians are those who have never “been with” a man, Idk about Taylor, but Karlie is rumored to be one.)

23. I don't want you like a best friend (they’re known as best friends so that one’s obvious)

24. I’m spilling wine in the bathtub (in the photo of her and Karlie getting ready for the Met Gala in 2014 you can see that Taylor has drunk wine in the bathroom with Karlie before)

25. Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing (A common problem when you’re famous because a lot of people know OF you but don’t really KNOW you or your relationships like they might think they do. She also references this in the album prologue but when it comes to Joe, not many people knew of him before he dated her so he doesn’t have a big reputation or people who think they know him) Dancing with our hands tied:

26. I loved you in secret (again sounds like it references being closeted)

27. 25 years old (Karlie’s age up until today and *almost* Taylor’s age when Kissgate happened)

28. People started talking putting us through our paces (again sounds like it refers to Kissate; people didn't talk about her and Joe, only the media did months later when the album was already finished and she says never to believe them anyway. Plus you have to wonder how they already knew of her secret relationship with him even before pictures had come out of them together)

29. I had a bad feeling...but we were dancing, dancing with our hands tied (they were dancing closely/kind of kissing at a 1975 concert in 2014 and someone got a video and pictures that made it into many articles starting Kissgate. You can see in pictures how upset Karlie and their friends looked walking back from the concert that night carrying a very drunk Taylor. Maybe she knew there'd be a shit storm about it the next day but didn't care and did it anyway because she was so drunk. Their hands would then have been tied metaphorically speaking and they would’ve had to do what they had to do which was to keep dating guys publicly and to stop being seen alone together)

30. I loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would decide us (as the world sometimes tries to do with gay relationships, not so much straight ones)

31. So baby can we dance, oh through an avalanche (same points as above ^)

Call it what you want:

32. My baby's fit like a daydream (I know "fit" is English slang but still, Karlie is quite physically fit - she literally ran a marathon like the day after the song came out and in the Vouge Best friends video Taylor mentions her shiny abs)

33. Walking with his head down (I realize she's not a man but being as tall as she is she does do that a lot)

34. So call it what you want, yeah, call it what you want to (some people say they're friends, others say they're in a romantic relationship, a lot of people think they broke up or are no longer friends and don’t even talk anymore etc.)

New Year's Day:

35. This is maybe a slight stretch but the references to a girl's party and polaroids that she often takes with her friends make me think of women and not really men, and as someone whose been to her house I can vouch that she has a lot of polaroids of her female friends; many of Karlie specifically displayed in her sitting room as well as a photo of them at Big Sur that she keeps in one of her bathrooms but not as many photos of guys who it’s hard to imagine would fit in all that well at a party like that but maybe that’s just me)

lyrics that refer to Joe:

In general:

1. The words he, him & his (and anything else masculine-sounding like the word handsome and king in reference to a current relationship. I guess this is a bunch of references but I didn’t actually count how many times she said he on the album because that would be a lot. lol):

Ready for it:

2. Younger than my exes (some of them anyway; her two most recent ones)

Don't blame me:

3. Toying with them older guys (he's younger than Calvin and Tom as is she however note that she's admitting to using them which seems like more of a reference to a bearding contract unless we're to believe she's admitting to being horrible to her exes)

Delicate:

4. never seen that color blue (his eyes are blue)

5. girls back home (they live in different counties)

So it goes:

6. wear you like a necklace (she has one with his initial on it. I’ve been told it’s a lesbian term as well but I didn’t add it to Karlie’s list as it’s not specific to her)

Gorgeous:

7. I got a boyfriend he's older than us -Sunset & vine (where his movie premiere was last October although we now know the song was written in September and interestingly enough the area is also well-known for it's gay bars)

King of my heart:

8. king of my heart (king is a male term and they have royalty in England)

9. Say you fancy me not fancy stuff (fancy is British slang for liking someone)

10. salute to me I'm your American queen (she’s American and he’s from the UK where they still have royalty)

Dress:

11. flashback when you met me your buzz cut, my hair bleached (if it's in fact true that they met at the Met Gala in 2016 that they both attended then that's a reference to the hairstyles they both had at the time though tbh the timeline doesn't really make sense for that to be true)

Call it what you want:

12. My baby's fit like a daydream (Fit is British slang for attractive and he's also physically fit)

13. Call it what you want (in reference to weather or not the relationship is real)

14. I want to wear his initial on a chain around my neck (because she wears a necklace with a J on it)

So there you go. I'm not saying you have to believe the album is about Karlie or not about Joe but there do appear to be a LOT more references to her so I'll just leave it up to you to decide what you want to believe, I just thought I'd post this to prove that there is in fact evidence to support Kaylor, it's not just a baseless conspiracy theory.

#Taylor Swift #Karlie Kloss #Kaylor #Joe Alwyn #Reputation

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baroquespiral · 6 years ago

Text

The BTS Consumer Guide

Since the Dean of American Rock Critics, Robert Christgau’s probably never gonna review BTS (he won’t even answer my Xgau Sez question about them), I took the liberty of writing up reviews for all their major releases in his style, because I have better things to do but I’m not doing them. He’d probably switch around my ratings for Most Beautiful Moment In Life Pt. 2 and Wings, but these are my real opinions despite the style, and I’m a fucking Celtic metalhead - we clearly don’t have the exact same tastes. The Christgau rating system 2Kool4Skool Three songs - two formalities, one disarmingly earnest - and 4 tracks of sweltering boys’ room banter atmospherics. *

O?RUL8,2? Immediately undermines the relatability of “oh, are you late, too?” with “never be late to what you wanna do”, which sums up both contradictions at the heart of this group’s charmingly awkward concept. The Easter egg is that it’s also a reference to “Late Registration”, the prototype (if somewhat crudely copied) for its injection of warmth and funky grandiosity **

Skool Luv Affair Improves on the formula of O?RUL8,2? with more song specificity both in sound and content. Highlights include “Just One Day” which repays Kpop’s debt to Motown in pure smoove and “Spinebreaker” which finally puts the gritty realism in the socially conscious moralism instead of the other way around. Low points include the on-concept tracks and the ones with guitars. B+

Dark & Wild Not particularly. (War of Hormone) **

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life, Pt. 1 Does every trick in the Kpop book (which is to say, the pop encyclopedia) more richly, deliberately, believably (that’s as far as I’ll speculate about their sincerity) and energetically than any of their peers. B+

The Most Beautiful Moment In Life, Pt. 2 What their newfound ’seriousness’ really means is that their songs aren’t conceived primarily as single types or categories any more, like in so much of Kpop. ‘Silver Spoon’ isn’t just the generational anthem, it’s also the contrarian class statement, tribute to three generations of party rap in one and polyrhythmic noise experiment. ‘Run’ isn’t just the single, it’s a relentless drum-driven driving song. ‘Whalien 52’ is the lonely one and the goofy one. ‘Ma City’ isn’t just the tribute to the concept of hometown, it’s to the contrast between those hometowns, the voices of the rappers from them, and the specific ways they would go about making such a tribute (“You’re my summer, autumn, winter and every spring” vs. “My birth itself is Daegu’s pride, right?”). Which, special mention to those voices again - Suga’s desperation and verging-on-Thugger mannerisms, RM’s breathy oratory, J-Hope’s rocksteady confidence. A

Wings A concept album in more than the videos, this time, but this makes the songs song-ier, not less. The boys’ boundless ambition and their producers’ ruthless mercantilism complement each other in every creative decision, and each song is the sum of hundreds, each as careful as the measurement of parts on a spaceship. The Kpop romanticism that rarely crosses the culture barrier successfully is allowed to lead instead of pulling against the pop thrust of songs here, and the story’s about losing it anyway. A+

Love Yourself ‘Her’ Lightening up is a move that makes sense for them at this point, becoming more obscure at the same time intriguing. “DNA” is an instant classic not only for its ostentatiously original structure and shroom-fuelled video but the ineffable undercurrent of ambiguity underlying its implausible declaration of destined love, which won’t be reducible to whatever narrative gimmick it leads into. The rest of the album expresses the same in less concentrated forms; summer, adulthood, confidence, longing, the cool shadow of a cloud bigger than Wings’ loss of innocence, too big for pop songs. A-

Love Yourself ‘Tear’ Finely crafted, carefully distinguished, but Bighit could always launch a new group with a robot voice & icy synthpop gimmick if they wanted. B+

Love Yourself ‘Answer’ I’m not reviewing the other re-releases/compilations/cash-ins, but this one was supposed to be the finale of a trilogy and does contain more new songs than typical, all of which are noticeably their most transparently internationally marketed and least inspired material to date, so does mark a stage in their coming-of-age metanarrative - of a sort. *

Map of the Soul: Persona The rappers do Atlas’ job holding up this album because they’re the only ones whose voices are allowed to sound like voices. Even so some of their best performances ever (on trivial songs) are buried in bizarrely flangey EDM bullshit. You’re probably better off watching these live. *

#bts #Robert christgau #xgau #music review #my political manifesto is on the same blog where I post this

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sergeant-angels-trashcan · 6 years ago

Note

Sailor Pluto: "I'm going to go be human for a while, see how they live." \ Pluto: [meets aliens on Earth] \ Pluto: Wait what. \ Noh-Varr, who somehow ended up talking to her at a bar, both assuming the other is a Real Human and trying not to act too weird: Hey, do you like close harmony girl groups? I've got some great vinyls at home if you want to hear some. \ Pluto, confused: Sure? \ Pluto, watching Noh dance half-naked to retro music: This was a mistake. \ Pluto: A REALLY HOT mistake.

lmao ok so i saw this right before I went to bed and thought about it while I couldn’t sleep and went “well, I never do anything but super niche things anyway so why not”

because like. first of all, correct, I truly believe Sailor Pluto (especially before she actually comes to Earth for realz) has the same level of human behavior comprehension as Noh (which is to say, if they actually put effort into it, a lot, but who wants to put effort into it?), but i think she’s way more likely to wind up accidentally dating Sif and/or Valkyrie

BUT upon further consideration I decided that the Senshi would super love Noh. Think about it: he’s super strong, hard to freak out, and eats anything. The girls can work on their cooking skills at all the terrible food experiments will not go to waste because he will still eat them.

I’m seeing Noh meeting them post-canon, so while they’re in college or out of it, but I could also see Usagi running into him as a high schooler and just yelling “NOH PLEASE EAT MY TEST I GOT A 45 ON IT”

“SURE THING KID.”

but anyway.

I actually…think…that in suggesting this AU, how dare you, that I’ve found the PERFECT girlfriend for Noh!

And I wish I could say “oh it’s Rei or Mako” but like. Noh really goes for the fighty girls and it doesn’t work out well for him, does it? And he and Usagi are the bro-est of bros

So like. Power couple Noh and Ami.

One of Ami’s defining traits is her compassion and understanding, and there haven’t been a lot of people like that in Noh’s life. Someone patient enough to sit down and say “okay, that was a terrible decision. Why did you make that choice?” I think Ami would really get the “he is literally an alien so he doesn’t get some of this stuff” and the Senshi have dealt with aliens who don’t get Human Stuff before so it’s not like this is a conversation Ami’s never had before.

She’s outside the Marvel Universe, so she doesn’t think of him as “that guy who betrayed us” or “the guy who set fire to New York” but she’s a Sailor Scout, a superhero in her own right, so she’s not going to get freaked out by his superhero stuff. Probably just really curious. (He introduces her to Dr. Strange so she can talk about balancing a medical career and a superhero one only to find that Strange truly has no advice for her, and also his fridge is full of snakes, but she also meets Loki, who talks to her about magic/science overlap and then takes her out dress shopping and maybe to case a bank for a robbery??? Ami is still not sure)

I don’t see Ami as being super interested in sex (I don’t think she’s opposed to the idea of it, it’s just not a priority for her) which I feel like…is maybe a relief for Noh? He has to worry less about mind control saliva (”Noh could I do a cheek swab? For…science.”) and let’s be honest Noh has had a lot of people doing horrible experimenty things to his body so it might be nice for him to have a relationship that was primarily mental and emotional than physical, at least to start with. (They are super cuddly, though. All the time cuddles.)

And having a doctor or medical student in the Young Avengers extended family is really useful because Ami just sighs and goes “Hawkeye-chan, why are you covered in shark bites.” (and before someone comes to me like “I don’t think she’d use -chan in this situation”, you are probably right but when you’re bandaging up someone’s 26 sharkbites because they won’t go to a hospital after invasion of landsharks and you’re too polite to call them an idiot, what else is she gonna call Kate? This is the third time this has happened, and Ami has no frame of reference for this)

Noh has a spaceship that he and Ami tear apart and improve tech stuff on. AMI LOVES COMPUTERS. Noh is smart, even if he doesn’t always act that way, so he can keep up with Ami, mentally, which is really nice. He can also keep up with the Sailor Scouts if they need an extra hand. He’s diffused at least two conflicts by invoking Dreamgirls? They’re all still really confused about how that worked.

….also you will be hard pressed to convince me that Noh doesn’t play music while Magical Girl Transformations are happening. From an old skool boombox, for the Aesthetic.

Noh: Did you guys need someone killed? i can do that.Ami: we try not to kill people, Noh.Noh: but sometimes. you gotta.

Not to mention–Ami is a calming influence, and hanging out with Rei and doing Spiritual Exercises with her has helped him control his anger so when he gets mad it’s more controllable? And it manifests more it being really protective of Ami (not when she’s a Scout. She’s fine as a Scout. Noh and Tuxedo Mask are the Sailor Scouts traveling cheering section) but at parties or mixers or whatever when Ami is Really Polite and doesn’t call people on interrupting her and Noh will just go “EXCUSE ME, AMI WAS SPEAKING IT’S VERY RUDE TO INTERRUPT.” followed by. the most terrifying glare.

Noh is a Supportive Boyfriend. (he’s been working on it). He’s trying to be more attuned to Human Things so he reminds Ami when she needs to sleep or eat or that studies show a thirty minute break of dancing to motown for every two hours of studying improves information retention. Ami never had impromptu dance parties before Noh and now she has them all the time. And…they do help her maintain focus.

Noh went through her entire apartment building during finals and threatened bodily harm to anyone who disturbed the peace and at least three little old ladies laughed at him and gave him food to take back to Ami. He’s losing his edge.

idk man I just feel like they’d help one another grow as people–Noh in becoming more aware of how his actions affect others and thinking before he makes terrible choices and getting better at asking for help, and Ami in being a little more impulsive and self-indulgent. Neither of them do a complete 180 or anything but just…a bit more balance.

Ami, I think, really and truly does see people for the good and bad in them, but focuses on the good, and again...I think someone who believes that Noh is fundamentally good and not a screwup--or that his screw-ups don’t define him--would be a game changer. Ami very, very secretly thinks about Noh’s white hair and his spaceship and his flying boots and thinks her boyfriend is kinda an angel, and even though she never says that, Noh can sense it, you know? He knows Ami believes in him. She holds him to a high standard, and by god, he wants to exceed it.

Also? Noh helping Ami study, using her legs as a pillow while she plays with his hair

#phoenixyfriend #sailor moon #young avengers #noh varr #sailor mercury #ami mizuno #sailor pluto #my stuff #this was....not what you asked me at all #power couple noh x ami #honestly i've known them for 8 hours and i love them #goddamnit i love them so much now #i mean i love kate!!! but kate is a grudge holder #ami is not #also catch david and ami being pals #honestly what a chill and sweet relationship whti would be #occasionally fighting the forces of darkness and alien invasions #normal stuff

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scardohertys-blog · 6 years ago

Photo

GENERAL:

NAME: Scarlett Marina Kaufman Doherty

NICKNAME: Some people call her Scar, much to her irritation. It’s not even a cute nickname.

BIRTHDAY: January 16

AGE: 32.

GENDER: Cis Female.

PLACE OF BIRTH: Petaluma, California.

PLACES LIVED SINCE: Oakland, California, Cape Hazel

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Cape Hazel, Maine

NATIONALITY: American.

ETHNICITY: Ashkenazi Jewish.

PARENTS’ NAMES: Adina and Vadim Kaufman.

NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: None.

PERSONALITY TYPE: ESTP- A - THE ENTREPRENEUR

body image mention, abandonment

PHYSICAL:

HEIGHT: 5′4″

WEIGHT: 120 lbs.

BUILD: Slim and petite.

HAIR COLOR: Dark brown.

EYE COLOR: Her right eye is green-blue and her left eye is a hazel color.

GLASSES? CONTACTS?: Neither.

TYPICAL STYLE OF SHOES: High heels.

JEWELRY? TATTOOS? PIERCINGS?: She got her belly button pierced in high school, and she also has her ears typically pierced.

SCARS: She has a scar toward the back of her neck, right below her ear from trying to cut her own hair when she was nine years old. Her mother was less than pleased, to say the least.

UNIQUE MANNERISMS/PHYSICAL HABITS: She’ll lick her lips almost every time she takes a sip of coffee. When she’s drinking wine, she likes to tap her index finger just below the rim.

ATHLETICISM: She’s not into fitness, like at all. She loves to eat and she loves to drink. Her main source of exercise is walking for miles in her heels and running around stores.

HEALTH PROBLEMS/ILLNESSES: None.

INTELLECT:

LEVEL OF EDUCATION: High school diploma.

LANGUAGES SPOKEN: Fluent in both English and Russian, but English is her first language. She also can have conversational French.

GIFTS/TALENTS: Public speaking, flattering, styling and outfitting someone. Pretending her parents don’t exist.

MATHEMATICAL?: NOPE. The only time she’s mathematical is when she’s figuring out how much she’ll save on a sale.

LIFE PHILOSOPHY: When you don’t have your shit together, you have to dress like you do.

RELIGIOUS STANCE: She was raised Jewish but she’s not particularly religious.

CAUTIOUS OR DARING?: Daring.

MOST SENSITIVE ABOUT/VULNERABLE TO: Her childhood. Having moved across the country where hardly anyone knew her at the age of eighteen, it was a chance to have a fresh start.

OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST?: Pessimist.

EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT?: Extrovert.

RELATIONSHIPS:

CURRENT RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual.

PAST RELATIONSHIPS: Scarlett has only ever had one serious relationship when she was 25. He was the definition of the perfect boyfriend, everything she thought she should want but nothing seemed right. Two years into their relationship, he proposed and impulsively she accepted believing she was in love with him. Just days later she regretted her decision. Thinking she would catch wedding fever, she stuck to the engagement and continued to plan out the wedding but emotionally became distant from her fiance. A year into their engagement in the middle of an argument, he asked if she loved him, and she took too long to respond. Three days after that, she gave back the ring. Nothing else is worth mentioning. She usually keeps her relationships casual, hardly sleeps with anyone more than twice, and even that’s pushing it.

PRIMARY REASON FOR BEING BROKEN UP WITH: Emotionally distant, doesn’t want a serious relationship.

PRIMARY REASONS FOR BREAKING UP WITH PEOPLE: Doesn’t want a serious relationship.

EVER CHEATED?: No, not at all. She would never do that to someone because she saw the damage her father did from his multiple affairs.

BEEN CHEATED ON: No. Other than her three year relationship, she hasn’t been in a relationship serious enough for it to get to that point.

LEVEL OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: She doesn’t date, but she frequently has one night stands.

STORY OF FIRST KISS: Her first kiss was with her best friend in 8th grade during a sleepover when she suggested that they should kiss since Scarlett said she was bored.

STORY OF LOSS OF VIRGINITY: It’s nothing exciting. In fact, it’s quite cliche which she hates. She lost her virginity the night of Junior Prom with a guy she had AP Bio with.

A SOCIAL PERSON?: Superficially, yes, but he’s very particular with who he deems as a close friend.

MOST COMFORTABLE AROUND: A bottle of red wine.

OLDEST FRIEND: CONNECTION OPEN.

HOW DOES HE THINK OTHERS PERCEIVE HER?: Charismatic, witty, beautiful.

HOW DO OTHERS ACTUALLY PERCEIVE HER?: Brutal, pretentious, beautiful

SECRETS:

LIFE GOALS: Still up in the air.

DREAMS: To be a stylist on a Hollywood-type of level.

GREATEST FEARS: Not living an exciting life/growing complacent.

MOST ASHAMED OF: Her parents.

CRIMES COMMITTED (WAS HE CAUGHT? CHARGED?): Underage drinking, but I mean, lmao. She also stole a pair of shoes from a department store when she was 14, but was never caught.

DETAILS/QUIRKS:

NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD?: Night Owl.

LIGHT OR HEAVY SLEEPER?: Heavy sleeper.

FAVORITE ANIMAL: Eh.

FAVORITE FOOD: Sinigang and rice. Half of her childhood consisted of her learning how to make Filipino dishes because of who she lived with.

LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Highkey salad. Highkey, anything vegan.

FAVORITE BOOK: Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

LEAST FAVORITE BOOK: Doesn’t care enough to have a least favorite book.

FAVORITE MOVIE: She’ll say Roman Holiday but it’s really Terms of Endearment.

LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE: The Notebook.

FAVORITE SONG: Linger by The Cranberries but anything by Barry White. She loves Motown.

FAVORITE SPORT: She loves basketball and is biased toward the Golden State Warriors.

COFFEE OR TEA?: Wine. But coffee, yeah.

CRUNCHY OR SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER?: Crunchy.

TYPE OF CAR HE DRIVES: Silver Rolls Royce.

LEFTY OR RIGHTY?: Right-handed.

FAVORITE COLOR: Burgundy.

CUSSER?: All the time.

SMOKER? DRINKER? DRUG USER?: She used to smoke, but quit after she ended her engagement. But yes, drinker. Loves to drink. It’s her favorite hobby.

BIGGEST REGRET: Letting her relationship with her fiance go on too long, because then she broke his heart.

PETS: None.

#chintro #about.#hello!!!!

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tigerlilynoh · 7 years ago

Text

Fic Request: Sam’s First Month at Stanford

Word count: 6,662 Pairing: Sam x Brady Warnings: Mention of child abuse, Homophobic language

Author’s Note: This was written to be set within The Uncomfortable Adventures of Sam in Law School AU, but it’s also intended to stand on its own just fine.

Hope you enjoy it :)

It’d taken him four days of hitchhiking, hustling pool, and bus rides to get to California. The journey had been slower than normal because he’d tried to avoid illicit shortcuts like pickpocketing people for funds or the like. He’d gone so far as to take a can of lighter fluid with him when he left, then had a bonfire of his fake IDs and credit cards. From then on he was gonna live legitimately. He might not have much money, but he’d come by it through legal, mundane means.

Sam walked through the hallway of his dormitory looking for his room. Clutching his duffel bag to his side, he suddenly felt self-conscious. Everyone else seemed to have multiple suitcases or cardboard moving boxes, meanwhile everything he owned was contained in the bag he was holding. Many of the students had their parents with them to help out and share the momentous event. Seeing one dad help carry his son’s boxes up a flight of stairs, Sam was struck painfully by his own lack of support.

Telling his family that he was leaving had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. His dad had yelled at him and called him a coward—said it would be his fault if anything happened to them because they wouldn’t have enough backup. How could he be so selfish? He’d never amount to anything as a civilian, so why even bother wasting his and everyone else’s time.

When he’d attempted to pick up his duffel bag, John had pulled it from him, then thrown the bag across the room. For a moment Sam had braced himself for a physical fight. His dad had even been armed, but didn’t bother drawing the knife from the sheath on his belt. Sam hadn’t looked at Dean, who had silently watched everything from the far wall. Sam tried to ignore them both as he quickly collected his duffel bag from the ground, then walked out the door to his dad shouting for him to never come back.

Despite knowing that he’d done the right thing, he still cried several times a day. He’d called Dean’s cell phone twice, though both times he was sent to voicemail. It hadn’t been his intention to completely sever ties with his family. He’d figured that was a risk, but it had never been something he wanted. Distance and the freedom to figure himself out had been his dream, for as long as he could remember. He was finally getting the chance, though the reality of his situation wasn’t nearly what he’d dreamt of as a kid. In reality decades of trauma and unhealthy relationships had a way of coloring even a fresh start in the form of a free ride at a top-tier university.

When he discovered that his dorm room wasn’t shared with another student, he decided to call it an early night thanks to his emotional exhaustion and lack of boxes to unpack. He slipped his protection charm into the bottom of his pillowcase, then knelt beside the bed to pray. His upbringing had been a strange mixture of nondescript Christian and traditional Anglo-Greco hunter. He’d pray to Artemis more often than he’d pray to God, but the Great Huntress almost exclusively received canned piety. When he really needed a little customized help he turned to God—though in that moment he felt like an apology was in order.

He withdrew a knife from his duffel, placed it on the top of the mattress directly in front of him, then rested his right hand on top of it. The rite called for touching his favorite weapon, but he hadn’t been able to take his bow from the Impala before he’d left. The knife was the only weapon he still had, so it would have to do. At least he tried. His dad never prayed before bed and on the rare occasion that Dean did the rite it was never done justice.

“I’m not sure if you can hear me anymore.” He wasn’t sure if she ever had been able to. “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stay in your service. I need to find my place, wherever that is. From now on, that’s my hunt, my pursuit. I hope you can forgive me.”

He wished someone would forgive him, that someone would tell him it was alright. In his heart he felt like he’d made the right choice, but doubt whispered that he’d never be able to have the life of a civilian. He pushed the unsettling thought aside, then continued to the standard prayer.

“Please give me strength and patience. Give me the will to endure my trials and the mind to overcome them. Protect me…” He pursed his lips in hesitation. “...and my family.” Before finishing, he added, “Please watch over me even when I’m lost… even when I don’t speak your name. Please... remember me.”

Lying in bed, he stared up at the ceiling. He would be waking up to stare at that same ceiling every morning for at least the next eight months. The thought made him strangely frightened. It was so long. He’d never been anywhere that long. What if he couldn’t do it? Maybe he was trapped by his upbringing? He’d never heard of any cradle-to-the-grave hunters retiring. In that moment it wouldn’t have surprised him to find out that people like him couldn’t cut civilian life.

He got up from the bed, took his desk chair, and wedged it under the doorknob to secure the door. Then he moved his pillow and a blanket onto the floor in the corner, so that he could see both the door and the window. He curled up with his knife by his pillow, ready to grab in an emergency. His first night on campus, he fell asleep on the floor, crying into his pillow. It took him three nights before he tried sleeping in the bed.

Adjusting to his new life was harder than he’d anticipated. He knew it’d be emotionally difficult, that being apart from his family and the hunter lifestyle for the first time would be difficult on top of all the assorted trauma he wasn’t yet prepared to look at head-on. But he hadn’t foreseen several other challenges. Thanks to having spent his childhood living on the road, traveling from hunt to hunt, he had certain disadvantages—socially and financially, many of which hadn’t even occurred to him as issues.

Social anxiety hadn’t really been on his radar as a problem that he might have. For years he’d been used to putting on a false smile and playing various roles in order to help with witnesses on a hunt, or maybe just to work a hustle. He could be charismatic when it came right down to it, but there had been a sort of comfort in knowing it was all fake and insulated from his actual life. But now he wasn’t playing a part; this was his life. He felt suddenly exposed and vulnerable to others’ judgment in a way that he’d only ever felt at hunter gatherings.

The first morning at the dormitory he decided to take a shower. He hadn’t bathed since leaving his family and was in desperate need of self-care. His skin felt oily even if it didn’t look too bad and no matter how many times he’d washed his hands he still had a sneaking suspicion that there was dried blood somewhere on him, even if no longer under his nails.

He walked to the co-ed bathroom with a towel that he’d stolen from a motel room. He was wearing full-length pants and his hoodie. A few people glanced at him in his state of ample dress while he waited for a free shower stall. Everyone else was wearing minimal pajamas, shorts, swimsuits, or maybe even just a strategically wrapped towel. Some students whispered to each other, though he couldn’t tell if it was his imagination that they were talking about him.

The fact of the matter was that he didn’t want anyone to see him with his shirt off. Large bruises covered his shoulder, torso, and upper legs. Worse, there were still two dozen stitches holding him together below his left arm. He had no good explanation for them and dreaded the thought of what gossip might grow out of it being seen. Slipping fully dressed into the shower stall, he pulled the curtain, took off his clothes, and examined the injuries. With a little luck they’d be the last scars to mark his body.

After hanging up his clothes as best he could so they wouldn’t get wet, he began washing himself. He could hear a man in a neighboring shower singing classic Motown. He’d never heard someone singing in the shower before—he couldn’t even remember hearing someone singing in person at all. As unusual as it was, it was kind of charming to know that somebody was comfortable and happy. He let the warm water pour over him, washing away as much of the unpleasantness of his past as it could. For a moment it was deeply soothing… until his pants fell off their hook and were soaked. He picked up the soggy jeans, then checked his injuries again and wondered how much longer he’d need to keep covering up on the way to and from the shower.

The fourth day brought with it Sam’s first public embarrassment of his college career and the subsequent breakdown. He’d been in the student union buying some lunch when another student had accidentally bumped into him. The recently-buffed floor and sudden impact caused them both to slip and fall down, spilling Sam’s plate of food and costing him a precious, scholarship-sponsored meal. The scene drew the attention of a few dozen bystanders. The sudden motion had torn one of his stitches, causing Sam to clutch his side. Two people went to help him up, but the combined pain and embarrassment triggered his memories from his youth, inducing an anxiety attack. So when they grabbed him to help him up, he panicked.

Their hands on him reminded him of the way his dad used to grab him and shove him around. Just a few days before leaving, he’d been slammed into a wall while being yelled at for taking so long to finish off the last werewolf they’d been fighting. The impact had made the fresh slashing wound on his side sting and dribble blood. Their dad had instructed Dean not to help suture the injury—Sam would have to deal with the consequences of his poor performance and could stitch himself up in front of the bathroom mirror. It’d taken an hour and all the willpower he had to get through all twenty-four stitches before he drank himself numb.

Sam pulled away from the students and their bizarre attempt to help him. He scrambled across the floor, then ran out of the student union clutching his ribs. When he got back to his room, he locked the door and propped the chair against it before sitting on the floor in the corner. There was a little blood on his shirt… one of only six that he owned. He took it off to examine the damage. The injury hadn’t opened up too much and he wasn’t sure how to even do anything about it without a first aid kit. So he settled for stealing an unopened box of tissues and a roll of duct tape from his floor’s janitorial closet and just cleaning up the mess until it stopped bleeding. After forty-five minutes, when the bleeding had essentially stopped, he covered the wound with tissues, then applied some duct tape to act as a bandage. From then on, he’d take it easy. He’d avoid people touching him.

On the fifth day he was running low on clean clothes. He decided to finally bite the bullet and go do some laundry. With so little in the way of clothing, he was able to stuff it all in his duffel and carry it down to the dormitory lounge. He found the RA playing on her laptop at a desk and approached her.

Once he’d caught her attention, he asked, “Do you know where the nearest laundromat is?”

“The laundry room is in the basement.” The RA stared at the clear plastic baggie of quarters he was holding, then looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “You… uh, you know you don’t need to pay to wash clothes, right?”

Sam could feel his ears turning pink with embarrassment, but he didn’t want to admit that he’d never had access to such services for free outside of when he’d stayed at Bobby’s. “Yeah, I was gonna get a soda.”

She gave a little shrug at the explanation, then went back to her game. After a little searching he found the laundry room. It even had a supply rack full of detergents and cleaning products that were completely unattended. He started his single load before sitting down by the machine. About ten minutes later, several students entered and complained to each other about having to do their own laundry. It was hard for Sam to imagine who else might have previously done their laundry, if not them. When they were done starting their machines, they left.

For a moment he furrowed his brow at the reckless abandonment of their clothes, then he realized that people there weren’t worried about someone stealing their stuff. He was at an expensive private university. Most of the students were probably well off. If their clothes had ever been stolen at a laundromat, they’d probably just bought new ones—Hell, most of the students probably had had homes with washers and dryers in them. He considered leaving his clothes to go do something else, just like any other student might do… but he wasn’t quite prepared to risk it yet. Maybe someday.

The stark financial contrast had struck again the next day while he was shopping for class supplies. When he’d arrived on campus he’d had $512.75 in cash on him. That amount was intended to last until he could find a part-time job, though he’d given himself permission to play a little pool if he really needed the additional funds in the meantime. Unfortunately, he’d overestimated both the number of pool halls in the area and the amount of free time that would be available. At that point his current savings were only $485.96, which had seemed like a lot… until he went to buy his course materials.

Sam stared at the $320 textbook. It was over one thousand pages of pristinely curated knowledge complete with twenty detailed flowcharts and a fifty-page bibliography. Unfortunately, its most prominent feature in his mind was the fact that it, along with the rest of his course materials, wasn’t covered by any of the handful of scholarships he’d cobbled together. He flipped through the pages to see how densely written the text was in an attempt to guess how long the reading assignments might be. About two-thirds of the way through the book was the security sensor. An old reflex reminded him that he could easily slip the sensor out of the book, then steal it. But he wasn’t that kind of person anymore—he’d always hated being that kind of person and he wouldn’t return to that sort of life.

“Excuse me,” he said to get the attention of a nearby employee. “Is there some way to set up a payment plan or something?”

“Sorry, we don’t do that sort of thing.”

“How much are all of the required books together?” Sam asked as he handed over his course list, then followed her to one of the register computers.

“It looks like…” The employee chewed her lip while totaling it up. “$1,076.32 with tax.”

He stared at her, completely dumbfounded for a few seconds. Those were just the necessary books and it was more than twice the amount of money that he had. He could hurry and try to find a few less-savory ways of make some money, but even at his best that much would be hard to scrounge up over any less than a few days or a week. He’d hoped to have his books in time for the first days of classes, which began in only two days. Not to mention, he needed to buy other supplies like pens and binders, since he didn’t own a laptop.

“How… how long do I have to buy them?” he asked, voice tinged with disappointment. “I mean, if it takes me some time to get… things together—how long are you gonna keep them in stock?”

The bookstore employee’s eyes took in the handsewn patching on the elbow of his hoodie, which he anxiously tried to cover. She gestured for him to come a little closer, then leaned forward so that she could speak to him in a voice that was soft enough so that no one else would hear.

“Talk to your professors and ask them if older versions of the textbooks will work. The library should have a few copies of older textbooks or you can try to buy them off past students. Check the bulletin boards,” she suggested. “If you really do need the latest version, we should have them for another week. And talk to financial aid. They might partially cover the books if you really need the help.”

He nodded at her words and his voice broke slightly when he eventually managed to say, “Thank you.”

When his medical insurance through the school became effective, he decided to finally take advantage of those services. He’d of course been to a hospital before, but as far as he could remember it’d only been for a few trips to the emergency room when his or Dean’s injuries had been too severe for their dad to mend himself. Though, they’d never left the ER in a typical fashion, instead having to sneak out before Child Protective Services were called or the bill was delivered. Despite having more legitimacy through the presence of coverage, he still opted to go to the dentist first as his small step into civilian wellness.

The receptionist at the dentist’s office handed him a clipboard full of intake forms, then gestured for him to take a seat in the waiting area. Only a minute after sitting down and starting the paperwork, he got up to ask her a clarifying question. He’d never had insurance before and didn’t want to mess anything up. Before fully returning to his seat, he spotted another unclear instruction and turned back to her. He ended up just standing at the counter while filling out the intake paperwork with her help.

He felt profoundly embarrassed. There he was having his hand held through basic medical forms while going to college for pre-law. A few pieces of paper should’ve been the least of his problems. But he was an outsider trying to navigate a new system. He tried to remind himself that he was a quick learner, and that the only way to learn was to tackle the unknown... even when it was disheartening.

At some point he’d make an appointment to see a doctor, but first he wanted to remove the remaining stitches from his side. He didn’t know how to explain away such an obviously unprofessional attempt at treating a noteworthy injury. Technically he was eighteen and was free to make those sorts of poor decisions, but quite a few recent scars hinted at damage done while he was still a minor under his dad’s care. He had no idea if John could get in trouble for it at that point, but he didn’t intend on testing his dad’s limits.

When the examination was done, Sam was informed that he had numerous cavities from a lifetime without trips to the dentist and that his teeth were severely damaged from grinding while he’d slept. The dentist suggested that it might be related to stress and that the damage had probably been done over the course of several years. Repairing the damage would take multiple visits that would inevitably have to be spread out so that he could manage the $50 per visit copay. In addition to that, at night he would have to wear a mouthguard to prevent the grinding until his anxiety improved. He would also need to use a retainer at night for several months or years in order to correct the alignment problems that had resulted from never having braces as a child.

That night before bed he popped in his temporary mouth guard. He felt a bit silly about the fact that he’d soon be wearing a retainer, which was the sort of equipment he’d previously associated with kids. But he was having to go through many of the basics that well-off civilians took for granted and got out of the way in their youth. Eventually, he’d have to go easier on himself. All journeys had beginnings; it was okay for him to start there.

Classes started a week after he’d arrived. Finding a new routine was profoundly welcome. The predictability was something he could finally rely on and it was a distraction from his fears. He’d always loved school as something to consume his mind— something other than worries about monsters or memories of his dad’s hurtful words. School had been the place where he’d had his best chance at being himself. He’d even had his first kiss with a boy at school when he was in seventh grade.

In many ways college was different than he’d expected, in some ways for the better and others for the worse. To his delight he could generally set his own challenge level through switching to harder classes, taking on a larger course load, or by doing extracurricular activities—granted he hadn’t attempted to join any clubs or the like. The prospect of being surrounded by civilians that were his own age and working in close proximity to them was still a bit intimidating. He’d always been a bit socially awkward at school, not catching all of the pop culture references and being uncertain how to relate to other kids' mundane troubles.

On the plus side, it seemed that in college generally other students were happy to leave him alone. Despite the loneliness that gently nibbled at him through the days, and gnawed more prominently when he lay in bed with insomnia at night, he was grateful to be left alone. He wasn’t sure how to make friends; he’d barely ever had a real one. The change from hunter life to student life had been too recent and traumatic for him to even begin analyzing how to make friends. After a few weeks, when his nerves were a bit better, maybe he’d observe some of his classmates during the seminars and see if he could find someone who might share some sort of common ground with him. Then he could figure out a few topics to discuss and an introduction. From there he’d have to wing it, but with his experience charming witnesses as someone else, surely he could figure out a way to be somewhat likeable as himself.

In the meantime, he was too vulnerable to risk more than a sentence or two of social interaction. He could feel his undiagnosed anxiety manifesting in his trembling hands, pounding heart, and the painfully long, sleepless nights. There was this terrible feeling that something was wrong and waiting to spring upon him—it was like he was perpetually caught in the moment just after entering a haunted building and hearing the door close behind him. His senses were strained, searching for signs of danger, and he was ready to run or fight. On his sixth day of classes, the extent of his fear had hit him hard.

He’d stayed in the library to do all of his homework until close to midnight, but his sleep-deprived mind wasn’t thinking clearly enough to make any progress worthwhile. When he was walking back to his dormitory he could hear sudden movement behind him. The slinking, scratching sound reminded him of something—undoubtedly a hunt. His mind started racing, trying to identify the sound, whatever was stalking him. He reached into his bag and clutched his knife, but before he could turn around he heard snickering. The noise had been a couple making out against a wall and only of their shoes had slid on some gravel.

For a moment his fear had gotten the better of him and he’d nearly pulled a weapon. He wasn’t chasing monsters anymore, and they shouldn’t be chasing him. The odds of him running into anything was so small that it was more dangerous for him to be armed than not, especially while he was struggling with his past trauma. When he got back to his room, he put his knife away in his nightstand. As much as he felt naked without it, he wouldn’t carry it around with him anymore.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do to deal with his fear. What did civilians do with their fear? They didn’t have it as much—at least some of them. He supposed some of the civilians could just call the police and rely on that to protect them. Regardless of the fact that he was a white man, he’d never really felt like he’d had access to the protection of police before. Even at school he’d always been armed, which could’ve easily gotten him into serious trouble. When he was out on a hunt, he was almost always breaking at least a handful of laws. And even just being at a motel was problematic considering the illicit goods his family kept. He’d always been in incriminating circumstances. His dad had raised him to be wary of the police because if he wasn’t conning them like a top hunter, then they would catch him and either arrest or kill him. Law enforcement couldn’t help him with his problems; growing up he’d known that. Whether that was still true or not, he felt it.

“You’re a civilian now,” Sam whispered to himself. “You’re in their system…. You’re in the system.”

A week later, Sam was sitting against the base of a tree, enjoying its shade and reading. The temperate weather was such a welcome change from any number of other places where he’d spent his Augusts, baking in the unbearable heat. He’d taken to studying outdoors whenever possible, outside of his claustrophobic dorm room and near the cheerful voices of follow students—near, but never close enough or in a posture that might invite interaction… or so he’d thought.

“Hey, big guy,” someone called in his direction, making Sam look up. A group of four large, male students were approaching him. Three of them were dressed in vaguely athletic clothes prominently featuring the Stanford logo. Aside from their overall aesthetic, the way they carried themselves and their overly confident demeanor screamed ‘jock,’ which wasn't inherently a problem…. Though he did feel some heartburn coming on. “You new here?”

“Yeah,” he replied, unsure of what they wanted. For whatever reason, the sight of them made him painfully aware that he was unarmed. It was probably the fact that he was sitting on the ground and they’d, intentionally or not, positioned themselves to be standing over him, surrounding him with his back against a tree. He tried to take a calming breath or two, but they weren’t really helping and it just made him worry that they would spot his fear.

“We’re holding tryouts for the football team.” One of them pitched the idea. “You should swing by.”

“Thanks, but I’m not interested,” Sam replied with an attempt at a polite smile. He looked back down at his book, but they didn’t leave.

“Have you ever played?” asked another one.

“A little, back in high school—“ It had just been for a few weeks during a physical education class, but the group didn’t give him a chance to finish his explanation.

“Come on. Just try out.”

“I don’t want to,” Sam said more firmly than before. “I have to focus on my classes.”

“We all take classes and play. You can do both.”

“Listen, I’m just not interested.”

“You’re new, so maybe you don’t get what being on the team would mean for you.” One of them grinned in an unsavory way, then boasted, “You have no idea how much pussy you can get—“

“I don’t care about….” He couldn’t bring himself to talk about chasing pussy no matter how much using their vernacular might’ve helped him. “I’m not interested in chasing women.”

He’d meant it in a more general way, expressing his disinterest in pursuing any sort of social excitement, but he realized that his words had missed the mark. The four men all shifted uncomfortably, probably torn between their prior attempt to woo him and the thought that he might be attracted to them. In a particularly unwelcome moment, they all seemed to realize that their positioning had left Sam’s head at roughly the same level as their crotches. The players took a half-step away from Sam, and took stances that bordered on defensive or hostile—almost as if he’d somehow entrapped them rather than them encircling him.

“Fag,” muttered one of the jocks.

Sam’s heart was pounding. He wasn’t sure what to do. There hadn’t been anything inherently queer about his statement, but being incidentally outed was still being outed. Though he wasn’t sure whether the slur had been more hyperbole and his visible embarrassment would be the thing that really gave him away. He was trying to compose himself, to recover enough to respond or even just to gather up his things and flee—though he wasn’t sure what he’d do if they started following him. In theory he could take them in a fight, but that might’ve been the last thing he wanted to do. He wasn’t sure if he was willing to take a beating in order to pretend to be a civilian.

“Hey, assholes!” shouted a blonde guy standing a few yards away. “He said no, so leave him alone. What are you, three-year olds or rapists?”

Being called rapists made the football players suddenly recoil even more. There were enough scandals about college sports players committing sexual assault in the news that hurling that accusation had been a direct and effective hit. The four guys all retreated from the tense situation to find someone else to solicit.

Sam realized he must’ve been visibly shaken by the encounter when his rescuer slowly approached him and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you.”

Sam rubbed his face and ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to shake off as much of the adrenaline as he could. Unfortunately, now that he could see the blonde guy better, his heart was pounding for a whole new reason. He was beautiful, with a lean build, messy hair, and intensely light blue eyes. His clothes were fit jeans and a t-shirt that somehow managed to be a flattering cut. But despite the casual clothing, his watch and leather laptop bag hinted that he was at least somewhat well-off financially. Sam hastily got to his feet so that he wasn’t staring up at the guy… or impulsively checking out his crotch.

“Sorry about those guys.” The rescuer held out his hand to Sam, which he accepted in a quick shake. “I’m Brady.”

“Sam,” he replied, thankfully minus any nervous squeak to his voice. “Do you know them?”

“Those goons hassled me yesterday. Well, I’m not as big as you, so they weren’t nearly as aggressive.” Brady smiled. “What are you, 6’3”?”

“A bit over 6’4” last time I checked.”

“Wow, I bet you’re popular with the ladies.”

Sam made a non-commital noise. Historically he hadn’t flirted with women much, except in front of his family when it seemed necessary to meet expectations. It’s not that he didn’t find women attractive; he just liked men more and had more experience with them.

Back before Stanford, he’d sneak off to gay bars whenever he was in a large enough city. There he could relax without fear of his family finding him and that feeling of freedom had led to a lot of experimentation that had been almost entirely with men. Upon arriving in the San Francisco Bay Area, he’d searched online for gay bars and was surprised to find that there were many more than he’d seen elsewhere in the country. There was even a significantly LGBTA+ community in a neighborhood in San Francisco called the Castro. Someday he’d have to work up the nerve to visit.

“Well, maybe you’re just popular all around,” Brady amended after seeing Sam’s hesitation.

“Not quite…. I’m new around here, and uh,” Sam chewed his lip a bit, unsure whether to say anymore. “I’m not exactly good at talking with people.”

“So far you don’t seem to be doing too bad. Maybe you just need a little practice?” When he didn’t immediately decline the invitation, Brady picked up Sam’s book and backpack from the ground, then handed it to him. “Today is too important for you to be spending it studying.”

“What’s so special about today?” Sam asked, unsure of what major event he’d forgotten.

“It’s the day we met.”

They strolled around campus for almost three hours, then walked the short ways to downtown Palo Alto for a few more hours of aimless wandering. Brady was probably the most charming person he’d ever met. That was the only explanation for how they could’ve talked so long. Sam had barely spoken to anyone for more than fifteen minutes at a time, but hours—he never would’ve imagined something like that. Brady was also a freshman, focusing on chemical biology and pre-med, but he seemed to know everything about anything. And he made jokes.

Sam didn’t know anyone who had that sort of lightheartedness. The entire feel of their interaction was different than what he’d previously known. There was such an ease to the whole thing, that when Brady hooked Sam’s arm in order to redirect them, the surprise contact hadn’t triggered any unpleasant memories or a mild panic attack.

“Come on, I know this great Thai place just down the street,” Brady explained as he pointed in the new direction of travel.

Sam stopped walking, slipping his limb free from Brady. He couldn’t go out to dinner; he didn’t have enough money for that kind of indulgence. His scholarship included an on-campus meal plan and that was what he had to live off of until he could find some source of income. He was ashamed of his circumstances and didn’t want to let the lovely day end so soon, but he couldn’t just walk into a restaurant knowing that he couldn’t pay for his meal.

“I shouldn’t….” He anxiously pulled away from Brady and held his arms to himself while avoiding looking his guide in the eyes. “I mean, I can’t….”

“I’m driving you crazy, aren’t I?” Brady guessed.

“No, you’re not—anything but that.” Sam gave him a reassuring smile. “I mean, I’d like to go get dinner with you. It’s just I haven’t gotten a job yet and with books and everything....”

Brady just stared at him for a second, processing the fact that his invitation was being declined over finances. Sam could feel himself turning pink.

“It’s my treat,” Brady offered, then added after seeing Sam’s discomfort at the act of charity, “You can pay me some other time—we’ll figure something out. Anyway, I don’t have anything else to do. You’re really doing me a favor by keeping me company.”

“You seem like the kind of guy that doesn’t have a problem making friends,” Sam observed.

“I have high standards.”

“Then are you sure you want to have dinner with me?”

“Without a doubt.”

Sam continued blushing for reasons completely unrelated to embarrassment. His mouth curled reflexively into a smile and he had to look at a ground for a moment. He bashfully tried to redirect Brady’s attention away from his physical tells.

“I’ve never had Thai food.”

Brady’s bright blue eyes lit up. “Well, now I need to take you to dinner. Not knowing what pad thai is is just criminal.”

It was the best meal he could remember having. Not only was the food delicious, the company continued to be enchanting. At one point while they were chatting over dessert, their feet touched under the table and Brady’s fingertips delicately traced the rim of his wine glass. The moment made Sam’s stomach knot in a strange new way that he enjoyed.

After dinner, they walked back to Sam’s dormitory, stopping in the hall, just outside of his room. Brady moved a little closer, testing whether he would pull back or if there were any mixed signals. Sam felt a bit faint at the realization that that incredible guy in front of him might’ve been posturing for a kiss. Brady candidly glanced down at Sam’s lips, then smiled slightly. Sam titled his head and leaned in a little, ready to convert the maneuver into a stretch if he’d accidentally misread the situation. But Brady took a half-step forward and kissed him.

Sam had never kissed another man so publicly before. It was mildly terrifying, yet more than that it was thrilling. He didn’t have to be scared of having his family find out, and despite the awkward interaction with the football players, the overall environment seemed more tolerant. After all, Brady was more familiar with the area and he felt safe sharing a kiss where any number of other students might see. When Brady cupped the back of Sam’s head, their kiss became more passionate, making Sam grateful that all of his hunter paraphernalia was hidden and his bed was clear of weapons. And, thankfully, he’d taken out his last stitches two days earlier.

Brady reached into his pocket—almost certainly to check for a condom. Sam was grateful. He hadn’t expected to need one so soon after moving and hadn’t yet located a Planned Parenthood where he could get some for free. The whole outing with Brady had been great, though not what he was used to. A quick one night stand would be some welcome familiarity. But instead, Brady pulled out his cell phone.

“What’s your number?”

Sam stared at him for a moment, completely thrown by the question. This guy wasn’t just trying to have sex with him. He wanted them to see each other again. To Sam’s surprise, he realized that they’d gone on a date or something, and it might not be the only time they did it. No one had ever asked for his phone number before. It took him a while to remember and recite it.

Brady immediately texted him, then said, “There. You’ve got my number now too.” He gave Sam another, longer kiss before pulling back and smiling slyly at him. “I’ll see you later.”

Sam went into his room, tossed his backpack onto the floor, then lay down in his bed. His dick was partially hard and his whole body was shaking from nerves or adrenaline. A few tears ran down his cheeks—not tears of fear or sadness…. Okay, maybe a little fear. He had a thing for someone. More importantly, someone had a thing for him too. As startling as the development was, it was a good thing. Things were finally beginning to get better.

His phone buzzed. When he checked it there was a text message from Brady. “Want to get breakfast tomorrow and compare our schedules? I still need to pick out two more elective classes. Maybe we can take something together?”

“Sounds great,” Sam replied before starting to touch himself to the thought of the smart, beautiful man who wanted something more from him than just sex.

#the uncomfortable adventures of Sam in law school #fic request #deleted scene #spn fanfic #spn fanfiction #Supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester fanfiction #sam winchester fanfic #Sam Winchester #stanford!sam #sam x brady #tyson brady #bi!sam #bisexual!sam #queer!sam

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easyhairstylesbest · 4 years ago

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77 Valentine's Day Gifts You Can Get on Amazon Prime

If going to the mall during the holidays drove you nuts before 2020, then Amazon Prime will save your soul now more than ever. Where else can you buy a wool Mackage coat, a sculpted bust of a greek god, a cardboard turntable for cats, and toilet paper? From the comfort of your couch. Naked.

Because there are millions of choices on Amazon and going through the results for even a single inquiry can be exhausting, we went through tens of thousands of items and put together a definitive list of the best gifts you can shop this year with Prime. Our non-negotiable criteria? Items had to be unique, high-quality, practical or chic, because nobody has time for anything else these days. Below, our top picks on Amazon Prime to add to your cart now.

Ocean Mist & Sea Salt Candle

NEST Fragrances amazon.com

$42.00

With notes of sea salt, white tea and coconut, this ocean mist-scented candle is a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. (Something that can’t be said for most candles out there.)

Gabbi Vegan Leather Handbag

If you follow any fashion accounts, you’ve probably seen JW Pei all over your Instagram feed. What’s less known about the affordable brand is that their bags are made from 50 percent recycled materials and 10 percent of all profits are donated to animal sanctuaries around the world.

Polaroid Pop Instant 3×4 Photo Printer & Digital Camera

Being able to hold photos of special moments hits different. Polaroid’s wireless Pop Instant camera is a game-changer for making it possible to take, preview, edit and print 3.5 x 4.25 photos. The easily transportable device also offers WiFi connectivity, so users can upload their pictures straight to the ‘gram if they please.

Acrylic Sheep-Shaped Containers

Agirlvct amazon.com

$12.99

Whether you’re shopping for the aunt that does her own thing or your friend with the ironic instagram aesthetic, these sheep-shaped cotton swab containers will just hit different.

SLIP Silk Pillowcase

Anti-aging and crease minimizing benefits aside, a silk pillowcase simply just looks and feels luxurious. Because falling asleep these days isn’t easy, this queen size pillowcase makes for a thoughtful gift.

14k Gold Three Diamond Amigos Curve Post Earrings

Adina Reyter amazon.com

$675.00

If these diamond curve post earrings look familiar, it’s because Meghan Markle wears them on repeat. To give you a sense of just how versatile these beauties are, the Duchess wore these to Commonwealth Day 2018, throughout her and Harry’s Royal Tour of Australia, and numerous royal engagements in London.

The Archisutra: The handbook’s Final Chapter

Createspace Independent Publishing Platform amazon.com

$9.99

This creative Kama Sutra from London-based architect Miguel Bolivar is a good gift for cultured significant others. Each sex position is inspired by a famous building or furniture design with detailed data and annotated scale drawings.

Handmade Love Bracelets for Men & Women

Ubuntu Life amazon.com

$19.00

Ubuntu Life, which was included in Oprah’s Favorite Things 2020, provides employment to artisans in Kenya, in addition to running programs that support social inclusion for Kenyan children with educational and physical needs. A handful of colors are still in stock at the time of publication.

Premium Bamboo Bathtub Tray Caddy

For a fancy-feeling gift that’s actually affordable, look to this bathtub tray caddy. It has a stand that can be propped to read a book or display a tablet, plus a wine glass holder.

Fair Trade-Certified Chocolate Gift Set

Chuao Chocolatier amazon.com

$16.95

This dark and milk chocolate gift set from Whole Foods-carried brand Chuao Chocolatier contains innovative flavors the chocolate lover in your life won’t be expecting. Think: potato chip, honeycomb, salted chocolate crunch and more.

Open Back Lace Teddy Bodysuit Lingerie

Spice things up with this surprisingly affordable lingerie find. Its delicate lace details and open back lend a glamorous touch.

Nonslip Hair Claw Clips (Pack of 4)

Claw clips were already having a moment in fashion before the pandemic. Now that we’re working from home and wearing our hair up every day, they’re all the more useful. These reviewer-obsessed clips boast 3k reviews and counting with an average rating of 4.8k stars.

Flex Wireless Earphones

I obtained a pair of the latest Beats (the brand’s most affordable headphones to date) for testing a few months back and haven’t stopped using them since. Delivering crystal clear sound, 12 hours of battery life, and a rapid fast charge, these bluetooth wireless headphones are overall better than headphones I’ve spent at least 4x more on over the years.

7/8 Jogger Travel Pants

Editor’s note: I own these joggers and am in love with them. What first sold me on these was that reviewers mentioned how similar these are to Lululemon’s On The Fly jogger, which cost about three times more. Fast forward to me owning 4 pairs and recently FaceTiming with my grandma who was rocking her own pair as well. A great gift for any woman who likes comfortable, flattering pants.

Reversible Zebra Bathmat in Grey

Jonathan Adler amazon.com

$63.34

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side… Not when you’re getting out of the tub though. That’s dangerous in an ER-kind of way. Anyway, here’s a cute, dryer-friendly bathmat.

Le Specs. Air Heart Sunglasses

Le Specs. amazon.com

$67.90

If these glamorous and slightly oversized sunnies look familiar it’s because Meghan Markle sported this exact pair during her 2019 baby shower. Shoppers, note that these fan-favorite shades have a track record for selling out fast.

OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS 2020

‘Tis The Season Huggie Set

Stella & Haas amazon.com

$29.97

This trio of hypoallergenic freshwater pearl huggies is another covetable find from Oprah’s Favorite Things List this year. Considering how versatile these earrings are, I don’t blame you if you opt to keep a pair for yourself.

UGG Fluffita Slipper

Have a shoe lover on your shopping list? Change their life with UGG’s Fluffita slippers. These fuzzy-feeling platform slippers will elevate all of their favorite loungewear ‘fits.

Mayberry Sheepskin Slipper

EMU Australia amazon.com

$59.95

Cozy gifts remain a failsafe move in 2021, so here’s another pair of chic sheepskin slippers certain to delight.

Emmanuelle Initial Necklace

Jennifer Zeuner Jewelry amazon.com

$154.00

A personalized touch goes a long way in making it look like you didn’t wait until the last minute to pick something out and panic while doing so. Here, a gothic initial pendant from Jennifer Zeuner that subtly channels Regina George’s ‘R’ necklace. More letters are available as well.

Dachsie Ring Holder

This dachshund ring holder takes cute jewelry organization to another level. Perfect for the dog lover who’s constantly rotating her stack.

Layla Bamboo Bed Sheets

Layla Sleep amazon.com

$175.00

$125.00 (29% off)

A sheet upgrade is the gift that keeps on giving. Suitable for sensitive skin types and hot sleepers, Layla Sleep’s 300-thread count Bamboo sheets are soft to the touch and eco-friendly. (Bamboo uses 200x less water than cotton and doesn’t require harsh chemicals in the production process.) The set includes a fitted sheet, top sheet and 2 pillowcases.

PhoneSoap Pro UV Smartphone Sanitizer & Universal Charger

PhoneSoap amazon.com

$119.95

File PhoneSoap’s Pro UV smartphone sanitizer under universally practical gift ideas. In just five minutes, this device is able to kill up to 99.99% of germs thanks to its powerful UV-C light.

Plush Slipper Socks Women

Toes Home amazon.com

$14.99

Amazon reviewers are obsessed with this set of fuzzy socks, which happens to be a steal at this price. (Think 2.4k ratings and counting, with an average of 4.6/5 stars.) A handful of designs are available, but the heart motifs here are especially kitschy-chic.

Alix Mini Top Handle Satchel

3.1 Phillip Lim amazon.com

$695.00

They say the best gifts are the ones you’d want for yourself. Phillip Lim’s versatile Alix Mini top handle bag is proof.

Supreme Glamour

Thames & Hudson amazon.com

Anyone who loves The Supremes or retro glamour will swoon over this new coffee table book, which chronicles the fashion history of the beloved 1960s Motown group. Founding member Mary Wilson tells her friend and co-author, Mark Begu, the whole story of the band.

Gisele Long PJ Set

Eberjey amazon.com

$120.00

Eberjey is practically synonymous with great pajamas. Made from modal and spandex jersey (no polyester!), these PJs are breathable, ridiculously soft and hot sleeper-friendly. Unlike cheaper options out there, you can be sure these will last for years to come.

EDITOR’S FAVORITE

Power Workout Leggings in Black

Sweaty Betty amazon.com

$100.00

To give you a sense of how beloved British brand Sweaty Betty’s power leggings are, one pair has sold every 90 seconds this year. (Editor’s note: I own these and don’t stop talking about how I think they’re the most comfortable and flattering leggings of all time.) New to Amazon Prime, these are still in stock in every size at the time of publication.

Women’s Asili Stacking Rings

Women-founded and sustainably sourced, SOKO makes some of the coolest, vintage-feeling costume jewelry around. Their pieces are handcrafted by artisans Kenya who use recycled brass, upcycled horns and traditional techniques.

Leather Touchscreen Texting and Driving Gloves

If you’re bougie on a budget, check out these Italian cashmere-lined leather gloves which boast over 1.7k ratings. As one reviewer put it: “They are great, and actually fit very well. Beautifully packaged. Could be a gift but I am keeping them!”

Women’s Duality Reversible Sherpa Jacket

Alo Yoga amazon.com

$179.89

Not only is Alo Yoga’s best-selling Duality jacket fun and practical in equal measure, it’s reversible and one side is sherpa. Five other colorways are available too.

Drinking Animals Coloring and Cocktail Recipe Book

Each page in this delightful coloring book opens up to a different animal and new cocktail recipe.

Tombow Dual Brush Pen Art Markers

Editor’s note: I’m a lifelong doodler and Tomboy’s dual tip brush pens are unrivaled when it comes to ease of use and vibrancy. Several color palettes are available in case you’re after something louder too. PS: A bunch are on sale right now, which is rare for the brand.

Apple AirPods with Wireless Charging Case

Few tech gadgets, if any, look as suave as AirPods. Of all the headphones carried on Amazon, these remain the #1 best-selling pair (no exaggeration), and for a limited time only, they’re currently on sale.

No Bounds Wireless Outdoor Speaker

House of Marley amazon.com

$58.78

These aux input speakers from House of Marley (which, fun fact, was founded by Bob Marley’s son, Rohan) boast an impressive ten hours of battery life. Even better? Because they’re dust-proof and waterproof, you and your partner will be able to enjoy these on outdoor adventures and road trips.

Retro Bluetooth Speaker

This ultra-compact speaker is sure to be a crowdpleaser. The indoor/outdoor speaker not only connects with bluetooth, but can be used as an FM radio with AUX connectivity as well, all while delivering impressive sound and 10 hours of battery life. A carrying strap and dust bag are also included, which makes for a sleek presentation.

Bose SoundLink Revolve Wireless Bluetooth Speaker

This sleek indoor/outdoor speaker delivers crystal clear sound quality and long battery life (16 hours!) certain to enhance any user’s listening experience. From true crime podcasts to Netflix to electronic music experiences, these will be a game-changer.

Boy Smells Beeswax & Coconut Wax Kush Candle

Boy Smells amazon.com

$36.00

This Boy Smells best seller doesn’t actually contain any psychoactive hemp-derived extracts, but it’s still lit. Paying homage to the cannabis flower, the scent is warm, fresh and floral.

EDITOR’S FAVORITE

Hand and Skincare Amenity Kit

Grown Alchemist amazon.com

$25.00

Editor’s note: I’m never more than a few feet away from my Grown Alchemist hand creams in the winter. Containing a vanilla and orange peel hand cream, vanilla and geranium day cream and watermelon lip balm, I’d argue this is the most affordable fancy-feeling beauty gift on Amazon. Fun fact, clean Gwyneth Paltrow is a huge fan of this lipgloss.

EltaMD Mineral-Based UV Clear Facial Sunscreen (1.7 oz)

Sunscreen as a gift? Only if it’s from EltaMD’s product line. If you or a loved one who spends a lot of time in the sun hasn’t tried this dermatologist-loved sunscreen line before, ELLE.com highly recommends. (Read Beauty Director Chloe Hall’s full review here.)

Sparkling Water Machine

sodastream amazon.com

$159.95

Kiss wasteful plastic bottles of seltzer from the grocery store goodbye. Set in a sleek monochromatic design, this SodaStream kit includes everything you need to make seltzer at home, including a carbonator.

14k Yellow Gold Hoop Earrings

Tilo Jewelry amazon.com

$69.99

Gold hoops go with everything and somehow always feel cool wearing. Here, a 14k gold pair made in the US that won’t slim down your holiday shopping budget.

Sherpa Trucker Jacket

Levi’s sherpa jackets have been worn by every fashion girl from Gigi Hadid to Zendaya. The denim staple is not only a godsend for complicated transitional temps, but a cozy piece to throw on at home.

Visual Feast: Contemporary Food Photography and Styling

Earning its moniker, Visual Feast is a coffee table fixture that explores food presentation in a myriad of Art forms. From witty jello dishes to painted lobsters, the foodie in your life will find the book’s photography drool-worthy.

Classic Greek Michelangelo David Bust Statue

Beonueni amazon.com

$29.00

Nothing subtly says ‘I’m an Intellectual’ louder than having a decorative bust of a Greek god on display in one’s home. Your loved one won’t see this gift coming, but they’ll love it all the same. (Editor’s note: This is the only item on our list where you have to pay for shipping, but it’s only $2.99.)

Women’s Natural Lace Trim Vest

Iris & Lilly amazon.com

$16.30

White tank tops have defined Tik Tok-era fashion more than any other article of clothing. Gift a set for the culture.

Mentone Half-Zip Sweater

Varley amazon.com

$148.00

This half zip from British athleisure brand Varley is practically dripping in cozy appeal.

Women’s Nori-K Coat

Mackage amazon.com

$790.00

Kindly sidestep the puddle of drool that formed while I gazed at this wool coat. That leather waist belt! The removable bib (!!!). The feminine silhouette that doesn’t sacrifice warmth! She’ll love this because how could anybody not?

Squeaky Parody Plush Dog Toy

Haute Diggity Dog amazon.com

$15.99

A fabulous squeaky toy for a fabulous pup. (Editor’s note: hi, Freddy!!)

Juicy Couture DIY Bracelet Making Kit

Make It Real amazon.com

$19.99

*Puts on Maneater by Nelly Furtado for a quick journey to 2006.* This kitschy DIY bracelet kit will pull at the heart strings of anyone who owned a velour tracksuit in the early oughts. Technically speaking, this set was probably intended for pre-teens, which makes it a good gift youngins who weren’t around for Juicy’s heyday all the same.

14k Gold Linked Diamond Stud Earring

Zoe Chicco amazon.com

$480.00

This 0.13ct diamond stud earring (yes, it’s sold individually and I’m sorry) will be her new favorite earring if she has more than one piercing.

Kitty Espresso Coffee Maker

Stainless steel espresso coffee makers don’t get any chicer than the Bialetti Kitty.

Walkie Talkies

These retro-looking walkie talkies are technically for kids aged 4 through 14; however, these will make a useful gift for any family quarantining together in the suburbs in lieu of a fancy intercom system. These boast a 3 mile range for outside, camping and hiking, as well as a backlit LCD flashlight.

Modern Glass Globe Table Desk Lamp

This sculptural table lamp injects instant modernity and warmth. It includes an LED bulb too, so the design lover you gift this too will be able to set it up and enjoy right away.

Clear Acrylic Bookends (Set of 4)

CY craft amazon.com

$16.97

If you’re after a gift for a book lover that isn’t books, this top-rated set of acrylic bookends works for any decor style.

Enameled Cast Iron Signature Dutch Oven

Le Creuset amazon.com

$349.95

Le Creuset is the gold standard of cookware and their dutch ovens are the lightest on the market. Here, the legendary brand’s signature enameled cast iron Dutch Oven in a gradient motif that brings to mind sunsets and Prada’s fall-winter 2018 collection.

BoostIQ RoboVac 15C MAX

eufy by Anker amazon.com

$279.99

$175.99 (37% off)

It’s hard to come by a list of best robot vacuums online (written by experts who actually tested hundreds of models) where eufy’s RoboVac 15C MAX isn’t included as a budget-friendly mention. The RoboVac 15C MAX has wifi and Alexa voice connectivity, which makes it easy breezy to set up and use. Reviewers love how it delivers an impressive clean with strong suction and self-charges after a clean.

Table Tiles

Areaware amazon.com

$20.98

There’s no such thing as too many coasters, though there is such thing as really tacky coasters. Trust me, I went through over 200 before finding this cool geometric set. These have a cork-lined base which further helps to protect furniture.

Sherpa and Fleece Throw Blanket

Green Orange amazon.com

$20.99

Sherpa on one side and plush on the other, this reviewer-loved throw blanket measures 50×60 inches, which means it’s large enough for two to comfortably snuggle during Netflix nights.

EDITOR’S FAVORITE

Men’s Sherpa-Lined Puffer Jacket

Amazon Essentials amazon.com

$50.10

Editor’s note: I got my dad this jacket for his birthday a few weeks ago because I figured it looked warm and practical. Turns out, this $42 coat is the softest-feeling men’s jacket anyone in my family has ever come across. Besides looking way more expensive than its price tag, this coat is warm and has a sherpa-lined hood which feels cloud-like. (Amazon, if you’re reading this, please make this coat in women’s.)

Men’s Figaro Chain Necklace

Miansai amazon.com

$125.00

In case you’re still thinking about how hot Connell’s chain was in Normal People. Same.

Men’s Memory Foam Slippers

These comfy slippers are machine washable, which means if he’s prone to having sweaty feet… you can gift these without any worry you might later regret it.

Polo Ralph Lauren Outdoor Bear Scarf

Polo Ralph Lauren amazon.com

For a guy in your life who’s a nightmare to shop for, look no further than this ribbed knit scarf featuring Ralph Lauren’s iconic, well-dressed bear.

Essential Crewneck Sweater

State Cashmere amazon.com

$140.00

Editor-loved brand State Cashmere makes 100% pure hypoallergenic cashmere for a fraction of what I see a lot of other brands charging. Here, a failsafe crewneck he’ll have for years to come.

Starter Shaving Kit for Men

Intro him to his new favorite grooming brand with a set that includes everything from a shave brush to priming oil to a safety razor and more. This shaving kit boasts over 400 reviews, with several mentioning how Bevel’s products help prevent razor bumps.

Hidden Comfort No-Show Socks

Runners swear by the support and durability of Balega socks. Take it from the 7k reviews this no-show unisex pair has, these will be a hit.

Grand Court Sneaker

If you’re shopping for a boyfriend who’s an amazing person but just not the best dresser, start with his shoes. Prince Harry has been photographed in a similar pair (Sdidas’s Gazelle trainer) in a similar grey, suede color on countless occasions. This color looks sharp with everything.

DiamondClean Classic Rechargeable Electric Toothbrush

Philips Sonicare amazon.com

$199.99

$166.95 (17% off)

Rumored users of the prestigious DiamondClean toothbrush include Beyoncé and Kim K. Per Philips, this luxe toothbrush removes up to 7x more plaque than a manual toothbrush, whitens teeth after 1 week of use, and improves gum health in only 2 weeks.

Pet Cardboard Turntable & DJ Mixer

Suck UK amazon.com

$35.00

For the cat person who loves a good RAC remix. To quote an epic review on Amazon: “By 9pm, DJ Kitty was in beast mode as the rave kicked off in the living room. As the sun came up, DJ Kitty refused to part with the deck… Yes, a bit expensive for [sic]carboard, but we are considering selling tickets to the next show to make up the difference.”

OPRAH’S FAVORITE THINGS 2020

Footnanny Hemp Extract Spa Treatment Set

Footnanny amazon.com

$69.99

Footnanny has been on Oprah’s Favorite Things list for seven years and counting, though the foot-care brand is loved by many, many more. Here, a trio that will help with exfoliating, soothing and relieving targeted areas of the body that often get neglected.

Foam Roller

Trigger Point Performance amazon.com

To give you a sense of how beloved TriggerPoint’s GRID foam roller is, it has 11.4k global ratings and an average score of 4.7 stars. It comes with free online videos so users can learn the best ways to utilize it for stretching and relieving tension.

Fully Adjustable Desk Folding Exercise Bike

Exerpeutic amazon.com

$299.99

$255.86 (15% off)

If they’re a fitness lover who’s working from home right now, this foldable stationary bike desk will make staying active during the day an easier pursuit. Reviewers agree it’s easy to assemble and sturdy, with one reviewer even saying this has changed their life.

Essential Oil and Aromatherapy Diffuser

Victsing amazon.com

$25.59

Shopping for a dedicated yogi or someone who could use a little serenity right now? Meet VicTsing’s popular essential oil diffuser that boasts 11.3k ratings and counting. The diffuser offers 2 modes, 4 different timers and 7 different color lights, which makes for a personalized zen experience.

Jenga

Jenga is fun whether you’re 6-years-old or 42.

Posh Peanut Pajamas Set (Newborn to Toddler Sizes)

Posh Peanut amazon.com

$30.00

Made from soft viscose bamboo, these pajamas will be super soft for any baby, toddler or eager young mind on your shopping list. A variety of prints are available in sizes spanning 0-3 months to 6 years.

Grippy Non-Slip Socks for Kids

Resilience Gives amazon.com

$10.00

The story behind this cheerful sock brand will move you (and the recipient). Resilience Gives was founded by Jake Teitebaum, a Hodgkin’s lymphoma survivor who was frustrated with poorly-made socks during his stem cell transplant, and is co-owned by Andee Wallace, whose father survived non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. For each pair of socks purchased, the brand donates a pair to a child with cancer who’s undergoing treatment in a hospital. (Women’s and men’s sizes are also available in case you also want to get yourself a pair.)

Justine Carreon Justine Carreon is the market editor at ELLE.com covering fashion, Dutch ovens, and fashion again.

Jaimie Potters Commerce Content Manager Jaimie Potters is the Commerce Content Manager at Hearst Magazines Digital Media, where she covers fashion, beauty, tech and more.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io

77 Valentine's Day Gifts You Can Get on Amazon Prime

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gazzhowie · 4 years ago

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My Top 25 Movies of 2020.

It is indeed time… or at least, as is tradition, it is indeed now overdue for me to dust off the cobwebs from my Tumblr account and post my Top 25 movies of the year. This time for 2020. That funny old year, huh? Where - if some are to be stupidly believed - “no films got released because of the pandemic”.

I thought I was done with this after 12 years and concluding with my Top 25 of the decade effort and yet here I am. Back rather egotistically because 2 people told me how much they look forward to reading this. Go figure! Years 2008 through to present are available in the archive. Frequent visitors know that I’ll throw out a few special mentions to all the films that I wish I could’ve included but couldn’t make them fit yet believe they deserve a shout out regardless and then I get stuck in to what I think are the 25 best films of the year.

As always, films listed are based on their UK release date whether that’s in the cinema or on DVD, VOD etc. Anyway, without further ado, here’s the ‘also-rans’ and ‘near-misses’ separated per genre that very nearly made the final list:

Setting my stall out straight away, Steve McQueen’s Small Axe was very much TV to me and won’t get ranked within my film listing. I loved two of the efforts a great deal (Education and Mangrove), liked two but found them lacking (Red, White & Blue and Alex Wheatle) and did not get what everyone else seems to from the other (Lover’s Rock).

In terms of documentaries this year, I thought Frank Marshall did a fabulous job with The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend A Broken Heart; a comprehensive study of the personal complexities and professional excellence of an incredibly underappreciated band. I found On The Record to be a difficult but inspiring watch and its background ‘politics’ exposed the hypocrisy of Ava DuVernay and Oprah Winfrey in a manner we’re not talking loud enough about. Hitsville: The Making of Motown was an extensive, lovely historical tribute to an era and a style of music, full of great tunes and equally great talking head anecdotes. And finally Belushi managed to find fresh angles and previously untold stories about one of the most mythologised comedy stars of all time, simply by pulling the man to the forefront ahead of his talents.

For dramas, I enjoyed Trial of the Chicago 7 a great deal and am an absolute sucker for the work of Aaron Sorkin but bad casting (Eddie Redmayne) and stunt casting (Sacha Baron Cohen) hurt this film. I’m a sucker for a disaster movie and Pål Øie made an incredibly entertaining one with the Norwegian high-melodrama, The Tunnel. Edward Norton’s long-gestating Motherless Brooklyn was a solid, old-fashioned PI yarn with some great casting to back it up. It’s the most alive Bruce Willis has been in years and it served to remind you that Alec Baldwin can be quite the terrific actor when he’s not being an utter joke of a human. I liked The Vast of Night a great deal when in the throes of watching it but liked it less in the aftermath. Cut Throat City was the underrated dramatic gem of the year in a lot of ways and showed that RZA has a great deal of skill as a legit filmmaker, when not being caught up in the ‘gimmicks’. O.G finally landed here via Sky Atlantic of all places, rather than any sort of VOD release, and it was an enthralling drama that served to remind us all how brilliant Jeffrey Wright can be when not overacting to the point of cringe or being stuck with really terrible writing (hello, TV’s Westworld!).

With the blockbuster season at the cinema all but dead from the outset, the joys of the action genre were to be found in the little b-movies tucked away on streaming platforms and VOD. Quick notable exceptions were The Outpost which was a reminder that Rod Lurie can deliver a hell of an action sequence, blighted by truly awful film-damaging casting and Extraction which was a well-directed derivative piece of hokum. Donnie Yen delivered an earnest, entertaining end to one of the surprise action franchises of the last decade with IP Man 4 that not even Scott Adkins could fuck up. Hack director Deon Taylor accidentally delivered Black and Blue; a pretty good ode to the ‘man on the run’ non-stop action thrillers of the 80s and 90s – with Naomi Harris killing it in the lead role. Netflix tucked away two of the greatest b-movie actioners of 2020 with The Decline (a ‘Doomsday Preppers’ training camp goes horribly wrong) and Earth & Blood (a sawmill owner uses his place of work as a battleground to take on the cartel). And, finally, the Ma Dong-seok (aka Don Lee) Taken rip-off Unstoppable arrived to streaming and turned out to be vastly superior to all of the films it was a knock-off of.

It was a great year for horror, especially if you were open to the sort of scares you were after. Sea Fever didn’t stick the landing but delivered an ace sense of foreboding and tension building for the most part. Harpoon was a sneakily nasty, surprisingly engrossing, violent little film. VFW was a lot of fun but nowhere near as good as its concept and cast suggested it was going to be. It’s also been subsequently marred by the stories coming out of its production and the revelations about Fred Williamson. I thought Come To Daddy was an absolute gift of a horror comedy that kept swerving whenever you thought you had a handle on where it was going. And Elijah Wood continues to show himself to be an American national treasure. After Midnight was an intriguing relationship drama with a horror bent and You Should Have Left, the Stir of Echoes reunion we’ve all long sought, would work as an off-kilter double-bill with it. Kevin Bacon is brilliant in it. Vampires Vs The Bronx is a totally disposable but immensely fun ode to The Lost Boys and The Monster Squad that’ll serve you well on a lazy Saturday night. Black Water: Abyss was a really good little creature feature with a ridiculous ending that infuriates. And Train To Busan: Pennisular was a pretty shit Train to Busan sequel but an immensely entertaining post-apocalyptic zombie action movie.

Onwards is worth mentioning for the fun and moving animated ride it initially presents as but, like too much Pixar nowadays, it does not hold up to repeat viewing.

Comedy-wise, I thoroughly enjoyed Bill & Ted Face The Music but thought its gag-rate was far too hit and miss for it to take a place on the top spot. Buffaloed was a kind of “M’eh” blue-collar Wolf of Wall Street with yet another fantastic ‘How the fuck isn’t she a huge star already’ turn from Zoey Deutch. Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made was a quirky out-of-leftfield oddity that me and my eldest son enjoyed a great deal. Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga was not the travesty you would’ve thought it’d be, mainly because of Rachel McAdams, but if Will Ferrell had just leaned a little harder towards his more absurdist style of humour (the killer fairy shit for example?) this could have been so much more. Finally, the second Borat film had some utterly majestic moments of cringe-comedy that make it worthy of a mention but the mechanics of joke-execution and faked set-pieces were far more on show this time around.

And now, if you’re still hanging in there that is, here is my actual Top 25 films of 2020…

25. Skyfire

I don't know whether it's because I’ve been starved of my usual 'Summer Silly Season' this year but I absolutely fucking LOVED this. It's the stupidest, most ridiculous, relentlessly bonkers "Jurassic Park - but with volcanos" fare you could ask for. I have no idea what the fuck Jason Isaac is doing in this but I’m so glad he is because it just adds to the glorious WTF-ery of it all. It's 30 minutes of mechanical lay-up followed by 60 minutes of non-stop, audacious carnage. It's been a long time since me and my wife have had this much fun watching something.

24. Bad Education

Dropped exclusively to Sky Cinema here, this is a great little film that has a shocking true story at its centre. Hugh Jackman and Allison Janney are absolutely terrific. Both of them are the sort of talents who've been in bad movies but never ever given a bad performance regardless.

Here both Jackman and Janney are having a ball with the material and they elevate a very good film into something that demands to be seen.

23. Blood Quantum

This was definitely one of the first-class b-movie horrors of the year for me. It does wonders on screen with very little AND it gives a shot in the arm to the zombie subgenre. It leads you into thinking you're getting yet another zombie-breakout film before expertly wrongfooting you into growing into something else. It's a Native American NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD meets MAD MAX!

22. Bad Boys For Life

This was a first-rate blast, it really was. From the inexplicable reusing of the 'Simpson/Bruckheimer' production card to the reworking of Mark Mancina's original theme, it draws you straight back to that 1990s blockbuster vibe. It's not just very funny and stacked with some pretty decent action sequences but, rather bizarrely, it actually has something interesting to say about ageing and masculinity... because nowadays Joe Carnahan is killing it when it comes to introspective recalibrations on what it means to be a man. If you were to spoil this movie for someone and reveal what the "twist" is it would sound like the stupidest, hokiest shit ever. And yet inexplicably they make it work. And furthermore, Martin Lawrence goes from the tag-along in this franchise to the platinum level MVP here. The entire final third is held up higher by his insanely good line delivery ("Would you fuck a witch without a condom?") and it's most likely how he plays shit as to why that stupid, hokey plot twist works as well as it does.

Over the course of three separate decades each BAD BOYS entry has, in itself, served to be a somewhat accidentally perfect reflection of the very cinematic decade it landed in: The first is possibly one of the last to truly and wholeheartedly successfully land that perfect marriage between the 'MTV era' and the blockbusters; bringing about the boom of the "music video director as filmmaker" that the 1990s became well known for. The second was a pitch perfect reflection of the gratuitous, often empty-headed, completely excessive pop culture period we were birthing in the 2000s. And the third lands now, right in the very time period where masculinity is being put under a spotlight and men are being asked to be more self-reflective about themselves and their conduct.

With that said, the fourth will obviously therefore land sometime in 2029 and deal with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence wandering a pandemic-ravaged Miami wasteland.

21. Wolfwalkers

This is one of the most lovely, visually wondrous, sumptuous animated films you'll experience this year. Or in quite some time, actually. It’s not just a great adventure film but it’s also a really effective ‘message’ movie that manages to teach about tolerance and friendship along with the perils of fear-mongering, without ever being overly preachy.

20. An American Pickle

This was one of the surprises of the year for me; I THOUGHT I was getting a quirky Seth Rogen fish-out-of-water comedy and instead I got that... with a massive dollop of heart, humour and interesting things to say about legacy and 'cancel culture'. I liked it a lot. It's also further evidence of how intriguing a talent Seth Rogen is becoming; jumping between broad commercial fare and original off-kilter stuff like this, producing and developing fascinating projects for film and TV and working to pass the ladder back down to others too.

19. Get Duked

I say this with only a modicum of bias as I know someone who worked a little bit on this film but this was genuinely brilliant - the absolute laugh-out-loud delight we all need right now. At the time I watched this I don’t think I’d smiled in nearly a fortnight but this broke through with me. Its wrap-up is a little too silly for its own good but that aside, this thing is absolutely stuffed with some TRULY great gags! This is one of the best comedies of the year for me.

18. Host

I had been giving this the big ol' swerve because it sounded like unoriginal, overhyped pish frankly and... fuck it, if that hype isn't absolutely deserved: It's a lean, effective, scary incredibly enjoyable ride. Made all the more fascinating by the fact it was made remotely on a shoestring with the director apparently never being in the same room as his cast at any one time due to Covid restrictions.

NB: I could not find a GIF to represent Rob Savage’s Host sufficiently so here’s Jack Black doing a backyard pandemic dance instead...

17. Sweetheart

What a crackin, lean, little horror thriller it is. It gets straight underway from its fade-up and never overcooks itself or leans hard on lazy exposition, silly character actions or bad deus ex machinas. Remember when Jonathan Mostow made BREAKDOWN and it felt like such a shot in the arm for the man-against-the-odds/standard thriller? This is like that - but for survival dramas and creature features! It commits fully to its high concept, helped along by a truly excellent performance by Kiersey Clemons and some really well-delivered set-pieces (that first flare scene is very well done!). If you watched Tom Hanks in CASTAWAY and thought to yourself "This film is great but what it really needs is a monster!" then this is definitely the film for you. And if you believe the rumours, it’s allegedly a sneaky Creature From The Black Lagoon redo for Blumhouse’s expanding ‘Monster Universe’ too.

16. Soul

I really connected with this. I like Inside Out a great deal but I’ve never understood why it's spoken of as a flawless masterpiece when it's overlong, tonally all over the place and has clunky as fuck casting. In the same breath, I don't understand why the reviews for this are so disparate. I thought it was a wonderful way to spend 100+ minutes. It was visually inventive, funny and inspiring. It doesn't quite seed its VERY deep otherworld-building foundations and Graham Norton doesn't really work in his role but overall I thought it was a delight. And, unlike Onwards, it really does lend itself to repeat visits.

15. Tenet

I had real trepidation about seeing this what with the reviews being all over the place but... well... Is it complete, barely comprehensible bunkum of the highest order? Yes. Could the film have benefited from Nolan letting his brother Jonathan have a pass at the script? Hell yes! Is it most definitely not the majestic masterpiece of masterpieces it thinks it is? Yup. Yet in spite of ALL that I had an absolute blast with it, I really did. If you give it a seconds thought it crumbles completely as the utter egotistical piffle it really is. But where it excels is in looking so gorgeous, being so kinetic and massive with its action and casting with actors who sell the shit out of a hokey script that you're so consumed with the spectacle you don't smell the bullshit until its over. Washington Jr has come out of nowhere these last few years to make me a big fan of his work - and Robert Pattinson has went from being an actor I couldn't fucking abide to being someone I now really rate and who I came away from watching this thinking "Yeah, that's your goddamn perfect James Bond right there!"

14. Da 5 Bloods

It works infinitely better as a 'men on a mission' action adventure shot through the off-kilter lens of a Spike Lee "joint" then it does as a searing commentary about race, war, etc. And that's probably why Spike's choice to include real war atrocity photos and documentary footage alongside the narrative doesn't land as successfully as he probably intended it to. But as an overall film, it's a genuinely great watch. Delroy Lindo has always been one of the greatest working actor. Here he perhaps delivers his ultimate masterclass. Regardless of whether awards season moves online or not, you cannot have any SERIOUS dialogue during it that doesn't have his performance heading the conversation. Ignore the dickheads online putting this in the same bubble as TROPIC THUNDER or DIE HARD (??). This is a wink and a nod to TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE and APOCALYPSE NOW, through and through. It's big, bombastic, broad and unafraid to swing out in every direction. It's not flawless but that doesn't mean it's not fuckin ~great~!

13. His House

This very much stands as both one of the most impressive debuts and modern horror movies I’ve seen in quite some time. It's an effective, lean, interesting film that buries under your skin and takes up residency there. Go into it knowing as little as you possibly can and then let it scare the shit out of you and, in its reveals, kick the shit back into you.

12. Tread

I really, REALLY liked this. It's my favourite documentary film of this year - made by that fella who did the bonkers-bad killer dog in the warehouse movie with Adrian Brody, no less! It's an absolutely fascinating true story I knew nothing about, brilliantly intermingling talking heads, archival news footage, dramatic reconstruction and audio recordings. It'll really drop your jaw - it's most definitely one of those 'needs to be seen to be believed' type deals because if you described this to someone as having happened they'd never believe you!

11. Bacarau

No plot description really does this film justice and the less you know going in the better an experience you’ll have. It’s an odd, deeply violent, unsettling, darkly funny, bizarro confection of The Most Dangerous Game meets Assault on Precinct 13 and… well… even that doesn’t really do the film any justice whatsoever. It’s a critique of dire political circumstance mixed with political satire mixed with the tropes of the Western, the siege movie and both horror and comedy. It’s very much its own thing. And that’s what makes it so wonderous.

... and it’s sort of both wondrous AND weird that when searching for Bacarau related GIFs, this was the Brazilian offering I was given! I apologise.

10. Alone

I found this came out of nowhere to be one of my favourite films of the year; a crazily efficient, brutal B-movie without an inch of fat on it that works its propulsive and well-structured screenplay hard to make you feel like you're seeing a new variant on the "stalked woman in peril" film. John Hyams - son of Peter and the man who reconfigured the UNIVERSAL SOLDIER franchise to superb effect - has made one hell of an effective movie that beautifully captures the vastness of the Pacific Northwest: this is one part DUEL, one part FIRST BLOOD, all parts odes to everything from THE GREY, I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE and the last third of THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS. It's very easy to make films like this. But it's clearly hard to make them as great as Hyams has done here, otherwise everyone would be doing it. Maybe coz what those films don't have is lead performances as strong and brilliant as Jules Willcox and Marc Menchaca give here.

9. American Murder: The Family Next Door

This is an incredibly powerful true crime documentary on a horrific tragedy, in which Jenny Popplewell tightly and clinically weaves through police interviews, news coverage and Shanann Watts' phone, laptop and social media to weave a moving and ultimately devastating portrait of her and her children's death at the hands of one of the worst forms of evil I’ve ever been exposed to. This still haunts me to this day.

8. Greyhound

I was really impressed with this. A crisp, lean, tension-drenched watch with yet another rock solid Tom Hanks performance centring it. It strips back all the tropes of these war pictures - the character backstories about post-war hopes and dreams, the cutaways to the families back home, the subplots involving the villains - and keeps a propulsive commitment to just this situation, this boat and the people on it; who only talk to one another about the job they're doing. As a result, it's completely involving and committed with action set-pieces that are clean, tense and entertaining as hell. Genuinely had a great time watching this and highly recommend it.

7. #Alive

Whilst the TRAIN TO BUSAN sequel earned rightfully shakey reviews, think of this as an unofficial prequel / 'side-sequel'. It is a tight, disciplined thrill-ride that throws up some interesting spins on old zombie set-pieces (climbing zombie vs. toy drone, for example). It may well deflate as it heads to its denouement but all before it was strong and entertaining enough for it to stand as one of his favourite horrors from this year.

6. The Invisible Man

This started good... then got very good... then got quite frankly flat-out tremendous and then entered a final third flipping anyone the 'bird' who thought that the trailers gave too much away. There is some truly tremendous, inventive and not at all 'cheap' jump scares. In fact, the whole second act is nothing else BUT terrifically effective scare after scare. All bolstered by a REALLY committed lead performance by Elizabeth Moss. Between this and UPGRADE, Leigh Whannell has not only become seriously one to watch but he's possibly just outed himself as John Carpenter's one-true heir.

5. Lynn + Lucy

I was left completely broken by this - what a truly fantastic piece of British cinema; a dark, uncompromising morality play for the modern age with a truly jaw-dropping performance by Nicola Burley. And, Jesus Christ, what an unbelievable find Roxanne Scrimshaw is?? THIS is her acting debut? Holy SHITBALLS! It's harrowing stuff that'll really make you think.

4. Parasite

This really is absolutely ~everything~ people are claiming it to be and more too! It's an exquisite piece of work, in love with the art of spinning out a story, narrative layers, sociological parables and effortlessly terrific direction. It builds and builds in an utterly enthralling manner and then... the pressure valve pops, taking you down a whole other audacious avenue that'll have you giggling at the insanity but still completely hooked.

3. Uncut Gems

It’s alright been memed and GIF’d to death but that doesn’t change the fact that it really is an astounding film - it's completely exhausting and quite honestly one of the most anxiety-inducing films I’ve seen in a long, long time. Even on multiple go-arounds, I found myself screaming at the screen, begging Adam Sandler's character to just fucking STOP for five seconds and... and... it's inescapable as to the direction down in which it heads but it goes there at such a propulsive rate, it is actually scary. An absolutely astounding film - it's like a John Cassavetes film shot with the adrenaline drawn from a Michael Bay action movie... and believe every bit of the buzz: Adam Sandler is jaw-droppingly fucking excellent in this!

2. Wolf of Snow Hollow

I thought this was a complete delight. Once again Jim Cummings has taken a film 'type' you THINK you know and infused it with his own very specific sense of humour to give us something that's very much delightfully off-kilter. What's more, as a sophomore directing effort, Cummings deserves all the plaudits for the massive advancement: There's action scenes and scary set-pieces that are really first rate and are way more accomplished than what you'd expect from someone only on their second movie and have never worked in the horror genre before. Cummings is REALLY funny in the lead role too but it's Robert Forster's final performance that'll break your heart. He was a hard miss anyway but this very much drives home what a great guy we've lost.

1. The Way Back

Gavin O'Connor has hit the trifecta with this, Miracle and Warrior on making a masterful sports drama and using it as a platform to 'say something' and draw a career best from a talented but under-appreciated actor (first Kurt Russell, then Nick Nolte and now Ben Affleck).

Affleck is astounding here. Fallible, real and pained. He's truly brilliant. There’s a realism to every movement he makes and every breath he exhales that only someone who has struggled with addiction will recognise. And around him is a deconstruction of the sporting underdog movie as we know it - it's only by the end that we truly realise that this has always been about the connections made through the game rather than the game itself.

Like with Warrior, you can go back and watch this umpteen times and find different strokes in the human and unspoken moments. If ever there was a secretly feel-good film for 2020 it is this – the movie that tells us that it doesn’t matter how hard or how far we fall, we are defined only by the moments in which we rise again.

And that’s that. See you all next year. Maybe ;)

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