#Yo-Ho-Homo

[curewhimsy]

This is old but it’s a bunch of vocal synths rapping to a Miitopia song

Disclaimer I am not from Miami

Lyrics:

Ame It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a triple whammy! The rap goddess is here and her name is Ame. Swimming in Miami, the East Coast is my alley Come on let’s share some candy! Be my mon amie!

Haku I’m Haku and I’ll be your friend forever! Let’s go on adventures in all sorts of weather. Perform feats of wonder and music endeavors. I’m brave by myself, but we’re braver together!

Miku You can call me Miku, Miku, oo-ee-oo I’m the number one princess, I’m telling you! Other divas have nothing on me, it’s true! But I still wanted nothing more than to see you!

Teto Come right up here and take a Despacito My name is Teto, and it’s not pronounced Tito! Come and eat some Cheetos, be my koibito! Roll up in a blanket like a burrito!

Joy Happiness! Bliss! Delight! I’m Joy! Always looking for fun things to enjoy. Music to dance to, friends to annoy I bounce and I sound like a squeaky toy

Uta What was the name of the flower you saw? Sorry to be mysterious, I’m just Uta. Not from Arkansas, not from Utah I use a machine gun, not a chainsaw.

Momo I’m the master of speed, for me this is slow-mo Everything’s peachy! It’s your girl Momo We’ll always live on, even if they say YOLO I kinda like Teto, and I mean that homo

Rie Winter is cold. Summer is hot. I am Rie. Denny’s parking spot. You liked my poem. Or perhaps you did not. Beanie Babies 8 assorted random bears lot.

Taya The flower I saw was a bunga raya, I’m dressed to the nines and my name is Taya! My trademark isn’t jambalaya I like strawberries along with papayas!

Ritsu Step right up and get ready for some Ritsu I may be small but don’t call me a shitzu! Call me a shitzu and I may just yeet you. Otherwise, it’s nice to meet you!

Ruko Better look up now, ‘cause I’m six foot five! My name is Ruko, I’m broadcasting live! The party doesn’t start until I arrive Now get me some coffee and then I will thrive!

Rhona Swimming up to the surface, I’m bona fide My name is Rhona. I like the tide. Through deep blue oceans I like to glide The waves in the sea are my personal ride

Nagisa I’m up on the moon and I ain’t even from NASA This bright star’s name is none other than Nagisa Come to mi casa, kick back and have pasta Whimsica Saga is awesome sauca!

Luana Yo ho ho and a can of Pepsi Who lives like a daredevil sailing the sea? Luana’s my name, you won’t forget me I’m not super fancy but I like me some tea.

Koto It may not be a plane, but if it’s a bird I’m here! My name is Koto, bird-watcher supreme! They tell me “be quiet,” but I like to scream! You shouldn’t let your memes be dreams!

[flirtingw1thsuicide]

Can't wake up, try my damnedest, but old habits are coming back

And now transgenders attack us, frontwards and backwards

They laughin', throwin midgets at us (Ha)

This ain't no dream now, huh? See what I mean now?

You see how they tryna make me out to be some kind of mean vile obscene, foul prick

I kick one freestyle 'bout beating down a special needs child and these people freak out

Told you we'd get slaughtered for saying "Retarded"

Aw, Marshall's gaining a conscience (Fuck you)

Fuck, this may come as a shock

I have you astonished regardless

Here's the thing about retarded people

What?

They don't fucking know they're retarded

Well, okay, you wanna fat shame, bitch

Two can play that game

You wanna judge people? (Yeah)

Matter of fact, ain't you the same one who hated bullies calling you bad names? (Yep)

Then you turn around and did the exact same (So?)

Just immature, literally

You're still mentally thirteen

And still thirsty for some controversy

You still picking on Christopher Reeves

Yeah, but you're me

And we're a team

So that means, we're in cahoots

That's conspiracy to commit murder

Lyrically, so clearly, you're the accessory, like jewelry

You ain't the judge or the jury, you're just as guilty

You rip on paraplegics, man, seriously?

Oh, bitch, it's a joke

No, it's not, it's embarrassing (What?)

Like David Carradine found with a pair of jeans at his ankles and belt around his larynx

I know, it's a scary scene

They're coming with everything

Little people are trolling me (Ha)

They saying they've had it up to here with me (What?)

Oh, hilarity (Come on)

Nah, do your thing

Fuck deaf people, yeah

Well, between me and you

I've think they've had it up to here with me too

What the fuck?

Sorry I'm not perfect as you, Marshall

Punching down on little people (Yeah), not cool

You just sound like a dick, wait, nah, fool (What?)

When I say, "Fuck midgets," I mean Ja Rule (Oh)

And I know that Chris Reeves song was recorded in 2004 for Encore (Yeah)

Fuck'd you take it off for?

'Cause he died

Man that motherfucker did that bullshit on purpose to ruin the song for us

Man, I never seen a bigger pussy than you

Bitch, look at all the shit the media's puttin' me through (What?)

'Cause of all the fuck shit that you pushed me to do (Me?)

Should've knew when I found you, you were just too good to be true

That's how we end up in these quagmires

You said you had my back, liar

But I helped you get your stacks higher (Yeah)

That's diamond sales like sapphires

Rap buyers, admires pack lines of admirers

Now they say you lack ire

That's why your satire backfires (Yeah)

Flat tires, no longer that guy you were prior to this, yeah

And I scare you 'cause (Why?)

I'm who you used to be (Who?)

The you who didn't crumble under the scrutiny (What?)

When it was you and me (Yeah)

I gave you power to use me as an excuse to be evil (I know)

You created me to say everything you didn't have the balls to say (Yep)

What you were thinking but in a more diabolic way

You fed me pills and a bottle of alcohol a day (Okay)

Made me too strong for you and lost control of me (You're right)

I took over you totally

You were socially awkward 'til you molded me (Yeah)

You was a loner and nobody

'Cause of me, you didn't take shit from nobody

Now look at you (What?)

Now you just a punk (Man), little scaredy cat (Word)

Got you shook like Shakira's ass (Yeah)

To look at your reflection staring back, bitch

It's just a mirror, relax

Man, you're so full of shit, you need MiraLAX

Open your mouth and shit flies out, just lies

You thinkin' you can rip my ass, undo these zipties

You can just undo my feet and keep my hands tied

'Cause like an avalanche, I'd still win by a landside

Oh, you think so, bitch? Yeah, I know so

Okay, your hands and feet, I let 'em both go

Yeah, fuck now, ho, give me that gun, no, don't

Rear naked choke hold, let me go, yo

Here, take it, bozo (Yeah)

Weird bait, you homo (You ready?)

No, don't shoot (Here we go)

[scissoringsappho]

FINALLY! When the first arc reimagined Mary Reade as a teenage girl being mentored by Anne Bonny instead of being her lover I thought they were going to Straightwash them both, but as the preview for the upcoming second arc shows, Anne is as Out and Proud as her real-life counterpart, and her writer as well, as I posted a few days ago. Now I might subscribe to the series, provided this won't be the only time someone scissors her timbers in the upcoming issues. Oh, and the solicitation text:

"Pirate queen Anne Bonny is back with her crew of lady buccaneers after a harrowing escape from a Caribbean prison! But can they find a safe haven on land or sea after Calico Jack Rackham's betrayal and the governor's promise to hunt down and execute Anne? The second volume of A MAN AMONG YE hits the high seas thanks to writer STEPHANIE PHILLIPS (Harley Quinn) and artist JOSH GEORGE (2000AD Future Shock, Grimm Tales of Terror)."

[grayingskies]

[bonky-n-steeb]

ahoy, mind lending me a ship captain, i got a red ruby heart for ya, matey :3

les get straight to the deal arr so. about me :-

+ 5'9, 21 F, bipolar, a little anorexic-looking, pale

+ career >>

+ sarcastic and mischievous, fun-loving but hates meeting new people (unless they are introverted, they make me go Yo-ho-ho–)

+ i make a lot of shrex jokes

+ anger issues, hates being compared (childhood trauma haha), jealous, overprotective over what's mine

+ NEEDS compliments

+ either extremely submissive or dominant in riding my sHip

+ stargazing with him iniside my vayjay >>

+ i always kiss my homies goodbye (no homo)

I ship you with - llyod hansen

[thatbasicnerd]

Yo ho, homos ❤️

[valtsv]

a gay pirate, or yo ho homo,

[pftones3482]

Commission for @crazyfanatic97. A little late, but it's been a very long and stressful week so I hope it suffices.

Set in the future, literally right after Marinette and Adrien get married (for context, they, Alya, and Nino all know each other's identities).

~~

“Marinette, what-?”

“I needed to talk to you in private, away from all the guests.”

Alya looked at her, unimpressed. “And the best you could do was a janitor’s closet? Aren’t there like, a dozen empty rooms in this place? That don’t require us to be confined into a space smaller than a literal clown car?”

Marinette smiled sheepishly, shoving down the poofy exterior of her dress so that it wasn’t pushing Alya against the wall as much. “I mean probably. This just happened to be the first thing I could think of.”

“’Bride traps friend in broom closet on day of wedding’ sounds like the beginning of a bad male fantasy,” Alya deadpanned. “What’s up?”

Marinette took a deep breath and lifted her hands, easing the Ladybug Miraculous’ off her ears. “Alya Cesaire, I am temporarily giving you the Miraculous of the Ladybug, which will-”

“Are you seriously doing the whole spiel right now?”

Marinette opened her mouth to protest until she saw the look of amusement on Alya’s face. She scoffed and pushed the earrings into her hand. “Okay, then I won’t be official with it. Look, obviously Paris still needs Ladybug, and Ladybug and Chat Noir are going on their honeymoon. So I just…needed someone I trusted to do this.”

Alya clasped the earrings tightly in her hand and gave Marinette a serious look, setting a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it. “Hey. I’m totally joking around with you. Of course I’ll protect Paris while you’re gone.”

She put the earrings in, giving Tikki a warm smile as the Kwami appeared, looking very disgruntled by their location. “Why are we in a closet?” she squeaked.

Alya threw her hands up as best she could without smacking Marinette in the face. “That’s what I’m saying!”

“I changed my mind, I’m giving the Miraculous to Alix.”

“Absolutely the fuck not.”

~~

It took Adrien nearly the entire wedding after party to get ahold of Nino, pulling him away from the conversation he was having with Max about a new video game and onto the dance floor. He settled one hand on Nino’s shoulder, the other on his hip, and grinned at him. “You’re a hard man to get alone, Lahiffe.”

Nino snorted, mirroring Adrien’s position, and turned them in a circle. “Really? Dancing? Little late for the homo, bro.”

Adrien rolled his eyes. “Please. I’d have snapped you up before Alya had back in school if I were ever gonna do that.”

“Ouch.”

They completed another turn and Nino tilted his head, eyebrow lifting behind his glasses. “What’s up?”

Adrien swallowed. “I needed to ask you something important. While Marinette and I are gone on our honeymoon.”

“Anything dude.”

Adrien reached up and grabbed Nino’s hands, twirling him gracefully on the floor. When he pulled him back, Nino held up a hand between them, staring at the now black ring that had been pushed into his hand. He lifted his head, eyes wide behind his glasses. “Dude.”

Adrien gave him a crooked smile. “Be Chat Noir? Just for the week?”

“Dude. It’d be an honor. Are you sure I-?”

Adrien squeezed his hand. “Can’t think of anyone better.”

Nino grinned and slid the ring on his finger, holding open his jacket so that Plagg could fly into the inner pocket before anyone saw him. “Did you really need to pull me onto the dance floor for that?”

“What else was I gonna do, pull you into a janitor’s closet?”

“That’d be ridiculous.”

“Oh and hey, I’ll loan you my stash of Camembert so you don’t have to buy your own.”

“…I’m sorry, your stash of what?”

~~

“So.”

“So.”

Scarabella grinned at Not-Chat-Noir as he landed next to her and sat down on the top of the Eiffel Tower, bumping his knee with hers. “What am I calling you?”

Not-Chat-Noir snorted. “You know, great question. I think since it’s just the two of us, Nino is fine. Alya,” he teased accusingly.

Alya shoved him with a grin, rolling her eyes. “Yeah yeah. Take it Adrien asked you?”

Nino grinned and crossed his legs under him. “Pulled me onto the dance floor. During a slow song.”

“Oh ho, should Marinette and I be nervous?”

“Ah yes totally, Adrien and I are going to run away together as soon as they get back.”

Alya giggled and shook her head. “Well at least he didn’t pull you into a closet.”

“Oh my god.”

“So what’s the most fun part so far of being Chat Noir?”

Nino hummed, pulling out the baton and twirling it on his fingers. “Honestly just vaulting across the city. I can’t do anything like that as Carapace. You?”

“Oh definitely all the yo-yo tricks I can suddenly magically do. Though I did get tangled up in the string for a while.”

Nino grinned. “Oh I’d’ve paid to see that.”

“Like you haven’t made any flubs yet as Chat Noir.”

“…I may have tripped on the tail about 17 times.”

“I knew it.”

[stainedglassgardens]

Favourite films watched in 2020

In no particular order:

Katalin Varga (Peter Strickland, 2009) The Gleaners and I (Les Glaneurs et la glaneuse, Agnès Varda, 2000) Land of Silence and Darkness (Land des Schweigens und der Dunkelheit, Werner Herzog, 1971) Post Tenebras Lux (Carlos Reygadas, 2012) The Return (Возвращение, Andrey Zvyaginstev, 2003) The Grand Bizarre (Jodie Mack, 2018) Transnistra (Anna Eborn, 2019) Ghost Town Anthology (Répertoire des villes disparues, Denis Côté, 2019) The Petrified Forest (Archie Mayo, 1936) Viy (Вий, Georgiy Kropachyov & Konstantin Ershov, 1967)

Complete list of all 323 films watched in 2020 under the cut!

January

Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging (Gurinder Chadha, 2008) Blade (Steven Norrington, 1998) Who Among Us! (Abhishek Prasad and Rebecca Kahn, 2019) Brotherhood (Meryam Joobeur, 2018) Disctrict 9 (Neill Blomkamp, 2009) Hair Love (Matthew A. Cherry and Karen Rupert Toliver, 2019) Kitbull (Rosana Sullivan, 2019) Sister (妹妹, Siqi Song, 2019) Nuts! (Penny Lane, 2016) The Judge (Erika Cohn, 2017) The Ghosts of Sugar Land (Bassam Tariq, 2019) Amazonia (Dominic Hicks, 2018) Dearborn Ash (Hena Ashraf, 2018) Pineal (Jenny Rinta-Kanto, 2019) Headcleaner (Nick Scott, 2019) Rattlesnake (Zak Hilditch, 2019) The Neon Demon (Nicolas Winding Refn, 2016) Skin (Audrey Rosenberg, 2018) The Banishment (Изгнание, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2007) F is for Friendship (Shaya Mulcahy, 2016) Paradise Hills (Alice Waddington, 2019) Road House (Rowdy Herrington, 1989) Hustlers (Lorene Scafaria, 2019) I Believe in Unicorns (Leah Meyerhoff, 2014) Ghost Train (Lee Cronin, 2014) Troop Zero (Bert & Bertie, 2019) For the Love of God (Pour l'Amour de Dieu, Micheline Lanctôt, 2011)

February

Sitting Next to Zoe (Ivana Lalović, 2013) Dark Places (Gilles Paquet-Brenner, 2015) Nocturnal Animals (Tom Ford, 2016) The Limey (Steven Soderbergh, 1999) Side Effects (Steven Soderbergh, 2013) Good Sam (Kate Melville, 2019) Anima (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2019) What Did Jack Do? (David Lynch, 2017) Fleur de tonnerre (Stéphanie Pillonca, 2016) Parasite (Bong Joon-ho, 2019) The Field Guide to Evil (Peter Strickland, Veronika Franz & Severin Fiala, Katrin Gebbe, Yannis Veslemes, Ashim Ahluwalia, Agnieszka Smoczynska, Can Evrenol, Calvin Reeder, 2018) Devil (John Eric Dowdle, 2010) 37 Seconds (Hikari, 2019) The Falling (Carol Morley, 2014) Grave of the Fireflies (火垂るの墓, Hotaru no Haka, Isao Takahata, 1988) Elena (Елена, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2011) The Lighthouse (Robert Eggers, 2019) Baskin (Can Evrenol, 2015) In Fabric (Peter Strickland, 2018) Leviathan (Левиафан, Andrey Zvyagintsev, 2014) Suffragette (Sarah Gavron, 2015)

March

The East (Zal Batmanglij, 2013) Solaris (Солярис, Andrei Tarkovsky, 1972) Mamma Mia! (Phyllida Lloyd, 2008) There Will Be Blood (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2007) Io (Jonathan Helpert, 2019) The Death and Life of Marsha P. Johnson (David France, 2017) A Bump Along the Way (Shelly Love, 2019) Color Out of Space (Richard Stanley, 2019) Divines (Houda Benyamina, 2016) Vanishing Waves (Kristina Buožytė, 2012) Mirror (Зеркало, Andrei Tarkovsky, 1975) Zama (Lucrecia Martel, 2017) Swallow (Carlo Mirabella-Davis, 2019) Joy (Sudabeh Mortezai, 2018) Good Time (Josh and Benny Safdie, 2017) Quarantine (John Eric Dowdle, 2008) The Reflecting Skin (Philip Ridley, 1990) Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017) Leto (Лето,  Kirill Serebrennikov, 2018) The 39 Steps (Alfred Hitchcock, 1935)

April

Queen of Earth (Alex Ross Perry, 2015) Black Christmas (Sophia Takal, 2019) Dogs of Chernobyl (Léa Camilleri & Hugo Chesnel, 2020) Firecrackers (Jasmin Mozaffari, 2018) Les Misérables (Ladj Ly, 2019) The Evil Dead (Sam Raimi, 1981) The Daughters of Fire (Las hijas del fuego, Albertina Carri, 2018) The Fallen Idol (Carol Reed, 1948) The Wailing (곡성, Gokseong, Na Hong-jin, 2016) Inherent Vice (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2014) Sorrowful Shadow (Guy Maddin, 2004) Mistery Lonely (Harmony Korine, 2007) The Grand Bizarre (Jodie Mack, 2018) Zombieland: Double Tap (Ruben Fleischer, 2019) Waves '98 (Ely Dagher, 2015) Uncut Gems (Josh and Benny Safdie, 2019) The Last Séance (Laura Kulik, 2018) Too Late to Die Young (Tarde para morir joven, Dominga Sotomayor Castillo, 2018) Room (Lenny Abrahamson, 2015) Queen & Slim (Melina Matsoukas, 2019) The Holy Mountain (La montaña sagrada, Alejandro Jodorowsky, 1973) The Chaser ( 추격자, Chugyeokja, Na Hong-jin, 2008) Made in Dagenham (Nigel Cole, 2010) The Color of Pomegranates (Նռան գույնը, Nřan guynə, Sergei Parajanov, 1969) Lost Girls (Liz Garbus, 2020) Ghost Town Anthology (Répertoire des villes disparues, Denis Côté, 2019) And Then There Were None (René Clair, 1945) Doctor Sleep (Mike Flanagan, 2019) Meshes of the Afternoon (Maya Deren and Alexander Hammid, 1943) Circus of Books (Rachel Mason, 2019) Catfish (Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman, 2010) Wildling (Fritz Böhm, 2018) Delphine (Chloé Robichaud, 2019) The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (Lewis Milestone, 1946) The Red Balloon (Le Ballon rouge, Albert Lamorisse, 1956) Nona. If They Soak Me, I’ll Burn Them (Nona. Si me mojan, yo los quemo, Camila José Donoso, 2019) The Lodge (Veronika Franz & Severin Fiala, 2019) Invisible Man (Leigh Whannell, 2020) Sans Soleil (Chris Marker, 1983)

May

A Russian Youth (Мальчик русский, Alexander Zolotukhin, 2019) Sicario (Denis Villeneuve, 2015) Fedora (Billy Wilder, 1978) LoveTrue (Alma Har'el, 2016) The Platform (Galder Gaztelu-Urrutia, 2019) Water Lilies (Naissance des pieuvres, Céline Sciamma, 2007) The Assistant (Kitty Green, 2019) The Half of It (Alice Wu, 2020) Tomboy (Céline Sciamma, 2011) The Last Man on Earth (Ubaldo Ragona and Sidney Salkow, 1964) Beanpole (Дылда, Kantemir Balagov, 2019) Mommy (Xavier Dolan, 2014) The Fall (Jonathan Glazer, 2020) Girlhood (Bande de filles, Céline Sciamma, 2014) Carnival of Souls (Herk Harvey, 1962) Marguerite & Julien (Valérie Donzelli, 2015) Portrait of a Lady on Fire (Portrait de la jeune fille en feu, Céline Sciamma, 2019) This Magnificent Cake! (Ce Magnifique Gâteau!, Emma De Swaef & Marc James Roels, 2018) Romantic Comedy (Elizabeth Sankey, 2019) Transnistra (Anna Eborn, 2019) Eraserhhead (David Lynch, 1977) The Farewell (Lulu Wang, 2019) Emma. (Autumn de Wilde, 2020) Late Night (Nisha Ganatra, 2019) Charlie's Angels (Elizabeth Banks, 2019) Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (Cathy Yan, 2020) The Ancestors Came (Cecile Emeke, 2017) Suicide by Sunlight (Nikyatu Jusu, 2019) Anthropocene: The Human Epoch (Edward Burtynsky, Jennifer Baichwal, Nicholas de Pencier, 2018) A Perfect 14 (Giovanna Morales Vargas, 2018) Westwood: Punk, Icon, Activist (Lorna Tucker, 2018) Free Radicals (Len Lye, 1958) Aniara (Pella Kågerman and Hugo Lilja, 2018) Vivarium (Lorcan Finnegan, 2019) La Pointe-Courte (Agnès Varda, 1955) Diary of a Pregnant Woman (L'Opéra-Mouffe, Agnès Varda, 1958) Salut les Cubains (Agnès Varda, 1964) Uncle Yanco (Oncle Yanco, Agnès Varda, 1967) GUO4 (Peter Strickland, 2019) Atlantiques (Mati Diop, 2009) Sitara: Let Girls Dream (Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, 2019) Lions Love (Lions Love... And Lies, Agnès Varda, 1969) Živan Makes a Punk Festival (Živan pravi pank festival, Ognjen Glavonić, 2014) Plastic and Glass (Tessa Joosse, 2009) The So-Called Caryatids (Les Dites Cariatides, Agnès Varda, 1984) The Octopus (La Pieuvre, Jean Painlevé, 1928) Hyas and Stenorhynchus (Hyas et sténorinques, crustacés marins, Jean Painlevé, 1929) Sea Urchins (Les Oursins, Jean Painlevé, 1929) Bernard-L'Hermite (Bernard-l'Ermite, Jean Painlevé, 1930) The Sea Horse (L'Hippocampe ou "cheval marin", Jean Painlevé, 1934) Voyage to the Sky (Voyage dans le ciel, Jean Painlevé, 1937) Le Vampire (Jean Painlevé, 1945) Freshwater Assassins (Assassins d'eau douce, Jean Painlevé, 1947) How Some Jellyfish Are Born (Comment naissent des méduses, Jean Painlevé and Geneviève Hamon, 1960) Shrimp Stories (Histoires de crevettes, Jean Painlevé and Geneviève Hamon, 1964) The Love Life of the Octopus (Les Amours de la pieuvre, Jean Painlevé and Geneviève Hamon, 1965) Acera, or The Witches' Dance (Acera, ou le Bal des Sorcières, Jean Painlevé and Geneviève Hamon, 1972) Pigeons of the Square (Les Pigeons du square, Jean Painlevé, 1982) The Slumber Party Massacre (Amy Holden Jones, 1982) Jane B. par Agnès V. (Agnès Varda, 1988) The Cranes Are Flying (Летят журавли, Mikhail Kalatozov, 1957) Crystal Swan (Хрусталь, Darya Zhuk, 2018) Take Me Somewhere Nice (Ena Sendijarević, 2019) Microhabitat ( 소공녀, Jeon Go-woon, 2017) The Unforeseen (Laura Dunn, 2007)

June

Funny Games (Michael Haneke, 1997) Louise Bourgeois: The Spider, the Mistress and the Tangerine (Marion Cajori and Amei Wallach, 2008) Wodaabe: Herdsmen of the Sun (Werner Herzog, 1989) Bells from the Deep: Faith and Superstition in Russia (Glocken aus der Tiefe - Glaube und Aberglaube in Russland, Werner Herzog, 1993) We Are the Best! (Vi är bäst!, Lukas Moodysson, 2013) Olla (Ariane Labed, 2019) Return to Reason (Le Retour à la raison, Man Ray, 1923) Ghosts Before Breakfast (Vormittagsspuk, Hans Richter, 1928) Sissy Boy Slap Party (Guy Maddin, 2004) The Republic of Enchanters (La République des enchanteurs, Fanny Liatard and Jérémy Trouilh, 2016) Sullivan's Banks (Sullivans Banken, Heinz Emigholz, 2000) Black Panthers (Agnès Varda, 1970) Asparagus (Suzan Pitt, 1979) America (Valérie Massadian, 2013) The Fall (Tarsem Singh, 2006) The Watermelon Woman (Cheryl Dunye, 1996) Douce Menace (Ludovic Habas, Yoan Sender, Margaux Vaxelaire, Mickaël Krebs, Florent Rousseau, 2011) Curling (Denis Côté, 2010) Trouble Every Day (Claire Denis, 2001) The Return (Возвращение, Andrey Zvyaginstev, 2003) Maillart's Bridges (Maillarts Brücken, Heinz Emigholz, 2000) Two Years at Sea (Ben Rivers, 2011) The Creeping Garden (Tim Grabham and Jasper Sharp, 2014) Homo Sapiens (Nikolaus Geyrhalter, 2016) A Radiant Life (Une Vie radieuse, Meryll Hardt, 2013) Shirley (Josephine Decker, 2020) Disclosure (Sam Feder, 2020) Baghead (Mark Duplass and Jay Duplass, 2008) Lahemaa (Leslie Lagier, 2010) Closeness (Теснота, Kantemir Balagov, 2017) Touki Bouki (Djibril Diop Mambéty, 1973) Daughter (Dcera, Daria Kashcheeva, 2019) Human Nature (Sverre Fredriksen, 2019) 1 Dimension (一维, Lü Yue, 2013)

July

Post Tenebras Lux (Carlos Reygadas, 2012) Something to Remember (Något Att Minnas, Niki Lindroth Von Bahr, 2019) Gegenüber (Ewa Wikiel, 2019) The Claudia Kishi Club (Sue Ding, 2020) Villa Empain (Katharina Kastner, 2019) Fata Morgana (Werner Herzog, 1971) Some Like It Hot (Billy Wilder,1959) Breakwater (Quebramar, Cris Lyra, 2019) Y a-t-il une vierge encore vivante? (Bertrand Mandico, 2015) Virus Tropical (Santiago Caicedo, 2017) The Tribe (Племя, Miroslav Slaboshpitsky, 2014) Integration Report 1 (Madeline Anderson, 1960) Tribute to Malcolm X (Madeline Anderson, 1967)

August

The Stopover (Voir du pays, Delphine and Muriel Coulin, 2016) Our Time (Nuestro Tiempo, Carlos Reygadas, 2018) Never Rarely Sometimes Always (Eliza Hittman, 2020) Land of Silence and Darkness (Land des Schweigens und der Dunkelheit, Werner Herzog, 1971) Continental, a Film Without Guns (Continental, un film sans fusil, Stéphane Lafleur, 2007) Spaceship Earth (Matt Wolf, 2020) The Go-Go's (Alison Ellwood, 2020) First Cow (Kelly Reichardt, 2019) Light of My Life (Casey Affleck, 2019) Wadjda (Haifaa al-Mansour, 2012) Spinster (Andrea Dorfman, 2020) Love and Anarchy (Film d'amore e d'anarchia, ovvero: stamattina alle 10, in via dei Fiori, nella nota casa di tolleranza..., Lina Wertmüller, 1973) Shapito Show (Шапито шоу, Sergey Loban, 2011) Charade (Stanley Donen, 1693) Cat People (Jacques Tourneur, 1942) Radioactive (Marjane Satrapi, 2019) Tabloid (Errol Morris, 2010) The Mourning Forest ( 殯の森, Mogari No Mori, Naomi Kawase, 2007) Lilya 4-ever (Lilja 4-ever, Lukas Moodysson, 2002)

September

The Nightingale (Jennifer Kent, 2018) Babyteeth (Shannon Murphy, 2019) Let the Corpses Tan (Laissez bronzer les cadavres, Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani, 2017) Wings of Desire (Der Himmel über Berlin, Wim Wenders, 1987) In My Room (Mati Diop, 2020) Katalin Varga (Peter Strickland, 2009) Les 3 Boutons (Agnès Varda, 2015) Somebody (Miranda July, 2014) Öndög (Wang Quan'an, 2019) Strasbourg 1518 (Jonathan Glazer, 2020) Mermaid (Русалка, Anna Melikyan, 2007) The Lighthouse (Маяк, Maria Saakyan, 2006) Phenomena (Dario Argento, 1985) That One Day (Crystal Moselle, 2016) Brigitte (Lynne Ramsay, 2019) The Wedding Singer's Daughter (Haifaa al-Mansour, 2018) Shako Mako (Hailey Gates, 2019) Carmen (Chloë Sevigny, 2017) The Summer of Sangailė (Sangailės Vasara, Alanté Kavaïté, 2015) Hello Apartment (Dakota Fanning, 2018) Seed (Naomi Kawase, 2016) Beyond the Visible: Hilma af Klint (Halina Dyrschka, 2019) Matthias & Maxime (Xavier Dolan, 2019) The Gleaners and I (Les Glaneurs et la glaneuse, Agnès Varda, 2000)

October

American Murder (Jenny Popplewell, 2020) Hereditary (Ari Aster, 2018) Ghostland (Pascal Laugier, 2018) Triangle (Christopher Smith, 2009) The Amityville Horror (Stuart Rosenberg, 1979) The Visit (M. Night Shyamalan, 2015) The House of the Devil (Ti West, 2009) Misery (Rob Reiner, 1990) The Exorcist (William Friedkin, 1973) Coherence (James Ward Byrkit, 2013) Metamorphosis (변신, Kim Hong-sun, 2019) Errementari (Paul Urkijo Alijo, 2017) I Am a Ghost (H.P. Mendoza,2012) The Changeling (Peter Medak, 1980) Witching and Bitching (Las Brujas de Zugarramurdi, Álex de la Iglesia, 2013) Thirst (박쥐, Park Chan-wook, 2009) V/H/S ( Adam Wingard, David Bruckner, Ti West, Glenn McQuaid, Joe Swanberg, Radio Silence, 2012) The Autopsy of Jane Doe (André Øvredal, 2016) Overlord (Julius Avery, 2018) Häxan (Benjamin Christensen, 1922) Viy (Вий, Georgiy Kropachyov & Konstantin Ershov, 1967) Amulet (Romola Garai, 2020) A Bucket of Blood (Roger Corman, 1959) The Wasp Woman (Roger Corman, 1959) Mother! (Darren Aronofsky, 2017) Suspiria (Dario Argento, 1977) The Open House (Matt Angel, Suzanne Coote, 2018)

November

The Damned Don't Cry (Vincent Sherman, 1950) Notorious (Alfred Hitchcock, 1946) While the City Sleeps (Fritz Lang, 1956) The Man Who Wasn't There (Joel Coen, 2001) The Naked City (Jules Dassin, 1948) The Petrified Forest (Archie Mayo, 1936) Croupier (Mike Hodges, 1998) In a Lonely Place (Nicholas Ray, 1950) Elevator to the Gallows (Ascenseur pour l'échafaud, Louis Malle, 1958) Key Largo (John Huston, 1948) Dial M for Murder (Alfred Hitchcock, 1954) The Long Farewell (Долгие проводы, Kira Muratova, 1971) The Killers (Robert Siodmak, 1946) Gun Crazy (Joseph H. Lewis, 1950) Alphaville (Jean-Luc Godard, 1965) Laura (Otto Preminger, 1944) The Third Man (Carol Reed, 1949) Dark City (Alex Proyas, 1998) Night and the City (Jules Dassin, 1950) Ace in the Hole (Billy Wilder, 1951)

December

Nimic (Yorgos Lanthimos, 2020) Elsa la rose (Agnès Varda, 1966) Le Bonheur (Agnès Varda, 1965) Little Girl (Petite Fille, Sébastien Lifshitz, 2020) Cold Meridian (Peter Strickland, 2020) The Fiancés of the Bridge Mac Donald (Les Fiancés du Pont Mac Donald ou (Méfiez-vous des Lunettes Noires)) (Agnès Varda, 1961) Along the Coast (Du côté de la côte, Agnès Varda, 1958) Vic + Flo Saw a Bear (Vic + Flo ont vu un ours, Denis Côté, 2013) Zootopia (Byron Howard, Rich Moore, 2016) It's a Wonderful Life (Frank Capra, 1946) Paddington (Paul King, 2014) Miracle on 34th Street (George Seaton, 1947) High Life (Claire Denis, 2018) Paddington 2 (Paul King, 2017)

[transmechanicus]

Gay pirates be like “yo ho homo”

[borisbubbles]

ESC2019 Preshow #18

18. ROMANIA Ester Peony  - “On a sunday” SemiFinal 2, #06

~Oi see da smøk rrrrrrrois freummmm deeeee eshhhhdrrrrreyyyyy ~

ENTRY ANALYSIS

You can forgive me for posting the NF version here, but “On a sunday” is one of those songs which comes alive ONLY during the live performance. I just love how she sllllllllrs her wrrrrrrds; See above. It’s funny to me that Ester, who is Canadian, has such questionable English diction but then I remember she’s from the FRENCH-speaking part of Canada 😍😂

Anyway, “On a sunday” is an interesting song to me for many reasons. A of all, it’s probably the closest thing we had to a genuine shock NF winner in this season, which is always exciting. B of all, um hello it’s a dark, vindictive gothic powerballad and I’m only gay, after all. 

Personally I quite love the theme Romania are going for: I can definitely get ~Bride of Dracula~ vibes and you can FEEL the overwhelming anger and pain and thirst for revenge in Ester’s voice, which I think are very powerful attributes. Having said that though, the song itself is sorta weak lol. I mean, it has potential, which is already capitalizes with its Mrs. Havisham-themed styling, (there’s a reason it won Selectia Nationala and that’s because it GLEW UP), but “On a sunday” gives me less in terms of actual replay value and fun factor. It’s a curious entry and my interest is piqued but as if yet not fully retained.

NF CORNER

Time for the longest part of the write up because of all the shit I need to address here. 🙄

Well FIRST of all, I will NOT be addressing Laura Bretan because i don’t give a fuck about “Dear Father” and never have.  Yes, she’s probably not gay-friendly, but I don’t give a care, honestly. I care about entertainment value and “Dear Father” was a BORING FUCKING SLOG to get throug. I’m happy it lost to something which i actually cared about. :-)

Who will I address? Let’s start with my faves. Nearly everyone favourited either Laura or Bella, but not I. I loved Trooper with their exquisite pirate rock:

Lol this almost literally sounds like “Yo Ho A Pirate’s Life For Me!” but I Adorez It anyway <3 It’s so cheesy and gimmicky but I enjoyed it and YOU WOULD HAVE TOO, DON’T LIE. 🍺

And of course there’s also Bella Santiago, half-Philippina, half-Romanian biracial butterfly 🦋

AN ARMY TO FIIIIIGHT FOR LOOOOOOOOVE!!!!!! Adding some lines in Tagalog <3 Everyone compares it to “Fuego” but this sounds way more like a mashup of “My Number One” and “The Balkan Girls” to me? I”Army of Love” is a fun-dispenser from start to finish. She should have won (literally. She was TVR’s chosen one.)

Sigh, I suppose this is where I also address the meltdowns after Ester won? Oh man, I don’t want to fucking address ... all of this, but the jist of it is this:

Laura Bretan was, as stated previously, boring and was rigged out because of it. Emmelie de Forest then ruined Bella with her TerribleDanishTaste™. The Laura Fans blamed, in increasing order of severity: TVR, Ester and “The Evil Wiwibloggs Gays” and even tried to get Ester DQ’d because the result wasn’t what *they*, fewer than 4000 people in a country of seven million, wanted. 🙄

(the funniest/saddest comment I ever read on the debacle and perhaps the entire internet period calls out William and Deban as -wait for it- ‘HOMOPHOBICPHOBICS’ lmfao how even. How dare those evil homos be phobic towards those poor homophobes!!!! #StopHomophobicphobiaNow #JeSuisBretan). 

(and if anyone had any doubts Laura actually did make a public statement saying she still supports the message of the anti-lgbt marriage vid she appeared in 🙃)

Shit got SO BAD Ester refused to appear on public television for WEEKS, afraid of being badmouthed and attacked. Poor woman. Vile, toxic BULLYING by Wild Jokahs On A Gold Throne is NEVER the answer. Remind me to quote this when we get to Italy, a bit later in this ranking.

Qualification Odds: Borderline (+)

Obviously, after the entire ordeal she had to ensure I ABSOLUTELY WANT Ester in the finale even if she’s barely in my own top 10 for said SF. I don’t dislike Laura, but I do hate her fans and every instance which proves them wrong counts as a moral victory against cyberbullying to me :-)

I wish I could say with confidence that she qualifies though, but the reality of the matter is that Ester is Borderline at best. Romania’s best chance is if they go ALL OUT on the ~Gothic Vampire Queen~ idea they’re currently preparing and make it dramatic, powerful and visually enthralling (without taking themselves too seriously, obvi). If they manage that or similar, they should pull of qualification or at least come very close without embarrassing themselves. 

Projected Placement: 6th-12th in the SemiFinal. If she qualifies, 12th-20th in the Grand Final. 

Link to the masterpost

[ayearinlanguage]

A Year in Language, Day 283: The Origin of Language Physicists have some shockingly good models for how all of existence may have come to be, or at least our particular universe. Biologists have an increasingly good grasp on the mechanisms by which inorganic materials may spontaneously begin to form organic constructs that lead to life. Anthropologists continue to draw increasingly fine lines of distinction between homo sapiens and other species, or even between "behaviorally modern" homo sapiens an non-modern homo sapiens. Compared to them linguists may as well be shooting in the dark to produce firm answers to any aspect of "what is the origin of language" The oldest attested languages, Ancient Egyptian and Sumerian, go back only as much as 5-6,000 years. Reconstructed languages like Proto-Indo-European, which are not directly attested but who's structure can be conjectured with reasonably accuracy, push that boundary back at most an extra 1-2,000 years. Behaviorally modern homo sapiens, meaning humans who's bodies and minds had evolved to match the modern species, originate around 200,000 years ago. That's a 190,000 year window we may never be able to look into, and its not even a sure thing that language doesn't predate our species (though it's a safe bet). Obviously I wont be answering that here. Instead I want to give an overview into the intense thought, clever theories, and even more clever barriers, that surround this concept. Today the question of language origin is closely tied to a much more prominent debate, that of whether language is innate, hard wired in our brains, or learned socially, much the way writing, social skills, and all technology is. If it is a social skill, the answer lies in the evolution of human societies. If it is innate, it lies in our genes. There is also the question of continuity. Most, myself included, consider language to have evolved gradually. Some, most notably Noam Chomsky, believe that it was a sudden change, and proverbial switch being flipped in the brain of early man, that transformed him from a mute ape into a speaking human. To find evidence one way or the other we often look to our close relatives, chimps and bonobos. Both of these animals fall well short of language, but can memorize an incredible number of signs, and, more impressively, the ability to be innovative and use metaphor with those signs. They can do this despite the fact that these skills are rarely, if ever, exhibited without intense human coaching. Based on this some theorize that the cognitive building blocks of language all developed as side effects of other behaviors relevant to survival, that once in place required a final push to develop into the linguistic faculty. Another way to look at the origin of language is trying to theorize why it developed at all. It's easy to see the benefit of language now in 2018, but it would hardly be so obvious to an early hominid. Consider that humans, almost uniquely, can make calls to purposely deceive. When a dog barks or a raven caws they have intent in mind, but they lack much capacity for deception, at least through auditory channels. Language, from a standpoint of veracity, is a liability. Linguists of the late 19th century like to speculate on what type of sounds coalesced into the first words. These theories had ridiculous sounding names, including the "bow wow" theory, the "ding dong" theory, the "yo he ho" theory, and even the "pooh pooh" theory (these claimed words originated from mimicked animal sounds, natural resonance, rhythmic working sounds, and emotional exclamations respectively). More modern theories often try to combat the potential for language as a tool of deception, a threat to the social structure primitive humans relied on, and place it in a social context. Many theories postulate it came from the cooing of mother to child and vice versa.Edit

[importantsecret]

Cristóbal Colón es un personaje que aparece de manera ocasional en las noticias, fundamentalmente por dos causas: en algún sitio se derriba una estatua dedicada a este nauta, o bien alguien ha propuesto un nuevo origen para el famoso navegante.

A este respecto, se han propuesto toda clase de posibilidades, con distinto grado de fundamentación: mallorquín, catalán, gallego, alcarreño, extremeño, portugués, corso, sardo, escocés, croata, armenio, griego, noruego, y algunas otras más. La propuesta más conocida y la más generalmente aceptada es que el almirante era genovés lato sensu, sin que quede muy claro si sería de la ciudad de Génova o de algún otro territorio de la República de Génova como Savona, Nervi, o Cogoleto.

Esta propuesta es la más aceptada porque es la más sólidamente apoyada en la documentación de la época, con testimonios de toda clase y condición, procedentes además de diferentes puntos. Procedo pues a exponer algunos de los elementos en que se sustenta la idea de que Cristóbal Colón era ligur, ya que ordinariamente se habla poco de las fuentes y por qué se afirma lo que se afirma.

Angelo Trevisan, secretario del embajador veneciano ante los Reyes Católicos y amigo personal de Colón, escribe en una carta de 1501: Cristoforo Columbo, zenouese, rosso, homo di alta et procera statura et inzegno. La amistad de Trevisan con Colón aparece también en una de las cartas al dux de Venecia, el señor Malipiero (a los admiradores de Dario Fo os sonará este apellido por la obra Muerte accidental de un anarquista). Esto refiere Misser Angelo: ho tenuto tanto mezo che ho preso pratica et grandissima amicitia cum el Columbo, el quale al presente si trova qui in gran desdita, mal in grazia di questi re et cum pochi danari.

Don Pedro de Ayala, embajador de los RR.CC ante Enrique VII, en una carta de 1498 dice que el rey inglés está contratando a un navegante otro genovés como Colón.

El doctor Lorenzo Galíndez de Carvajal, registrario de la corte de los RR.CC, en su Crónica o registro breve, anota respecto a 1491: Tuvieron Sus Altezas asiento con Cristóbal Colón, ginobés, natural de Saona. Si bien es verdad que el registro es el borrador en limpio para haberlo dado a la imprenta hecho por un hijo de Carvajal, el contenido es perfectamente bueno, aunque algo más elaborado de lo que sería un dietario o registro.

En 1535 Diego Colón de Toledo, nieto del almirante, en las probanzas para el hábito de Santiago, declara que su abuelo era el almirante Don Xpoval Colón, e que hera genovés, natural de la Saona, que hera una villa cerca de la ciudad de Génova.

Cristóbal Colón, en su codicilo complementario al testamento, salda media docena de viejas deudas. De dos de ellas conocemos la naturaleza exacta: la que salda con Lodisio Centurione Scotto y Paolo de Negro, genoveses, coincide plenamente con una condena judicial que tenía Cristoforus Columbus, cives Janue de edad de 27 años en 1478. La otra deuda que conocemos es del año 1470, con Gerolamo dal Porto, contraída por el mismo Cristoforus Columbus cives Janue, filius Dominici Columbi de edad de 19 años.

Las conexiones personales con Génova no acaban ahí. En 1502, el nauta recopila sus escrituras de títulos, mercedes, derechos, y privilegios, y manda hacer tres copias notariales, ya que las copias de seguridad siempre son importantes. Él se queda el original. Una copia la deposita en el monasterio de las Cuevas de Sevilla, otra la manda a custodiar al Banco de San Jorge de Génova a través de Francesco da Rivarola, y la tercera al mismo banco a través de Francesco Cattaneo. Colón contaba con haber legado a la República de Génova el 10% de sus rentas de las Indias, pero como en Génova tardaron en tramitar la aceptación de tal legado, los mandó a pastar.

Por no hablar de que en ese 1502, tratando asuntos varios, Nicolò Oderigo, canciller del Banco de San Jorge de Génova, se dirige a Colón como amantissimus concivis (queridísimo conciudadano), y agradece al almirante la generosidad que tenía prevista para con vuestra originaria patria.

El mapa de Martin Waldseemüller (1507), junto a la costa de Trinidad tiene el siguiente texto: Iste insule invente sunt per Cristophorum Columbum genuensem almirantem ex mandato regis Castelle (Estas islas fueron descubiertas por el almirante genovés Cristóbal Colón por mandato del rey de Castilla).

Los genoveses Senàrega, Gallo, y Giustiniani (en la explicación del salmo XVIII) también lo identifican como genovés, y los tres tuvieron ocasión de conocerlo. Senàrega quizás sea el más interesante por cómo inserta a los hermanos Colón en la narración general de cosas sobre 1493, que es cuando el almirante regresa de las Indias.

Esto cuenta el cronista: Christophorus et Bartholomeus Columbi fratres, natione ligures, ac Genue plebeis orti parentibus, et qui ex lanificii, nam textor pater, carminatores filii aliquando fuerunt, mercedibus victitarent, hoc tempore per totam Europam, audacissimo ausu et in rebus humanis memorabili novitate, in magnam claritudinem evasere. Traducción: Los hermanos Cristóbal y Bartolomé Columbo, ligures de nación, y nacidos en Génova de estirpe plebeya y que vivían del comercio de lana, en que el padre fue tejedor y los hijos un tiempo cardadores, han adquirido en toda Europa, en los tiempos a que alcanzamos, una gran celebridad por su coraje y por un descubrimiento que hará época en la historia de la humanidad.

 Gonzalo Fernández de Oviedo, que se crió con los hijos de Colón y pudo tratarlo en persona, también lo refiere como ligur, aunque con dudas sobre de dónde concretamente, inclinándose por situar su origen en Cogoleto, Cugureo en el texto en castellano. Digo que Cristóbal Colom, según yo he sabido de hombres de su nasción, fué natural de la provincia de Liguria, que es en Italia, en la cual cae la cibdad e señoría de Génova: unos dicen que de Saona, e otros que de un pequeño lugar o villaje, dicho Nervi, que es a la parte del Levante y en la costa de la mar, a dos leguas de la misma cibdad de Génova; y por más cierto se tiene que fué natural de un lugar dicho Cugureo, cerca de la misma cibdad de Génova.

En el mismo sentido se pronuncia Fray Bartolomé de las Casas, que fue buen amigo de Hernando Colón y tuvo acceso a documentación del propio almirante. Esto dice en su Historia de las Indias: Fue, pues, este varón escogido de nación ginovés, de algún lugar de la provincia de Génova. Cuál fuese donde nasció o qué nombre tuvo el tal lugar, no consta la verdad dello, más de que se solía llamar, antes que llegase al estado que llegó, Cristóbal Columbo de Terra-Rubia; y lo mismo su hermano Bartolomé Colón, de quien después se hará  no poca mención.

Pedro Mártir de Anglería, en una carta al cardenal Borromeo en 1493, también señala que Colón era ligur, igualmente sin entrar en detalles específicos sobre de dónde: Hace pocos días volvió de las antípodas occidentales cierto Colón, de Liguria, quien a duras penas consiguió de mis Reyes tres naves, porque creían fantasiosas las cosas que decía. Ha regresado trayendo como pruebas muchas cosas preciosas, pero principalmente oro que, espontáneamente se produce en aquellas regiones.

Me limitaré a estas fuentes aunque se puedan añadir más por no hacer demasiado pesado este breve texto.

[lumixnita]

*ﾟ‘ﾟTHE OFFICE ( SEASONS 1-9) SENTENCE MEME

There's too many people on this earth, we need a new plague.

Do you think that doing alcohol is cool?!

If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and___, I would shoot ___ twice.

Why are you the way that you are?

Just poopin’, you know how I be.

And you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser!

The Taliban is the worst . . . great heroin though.

Sometimes when I start a sentence, I don't even know where it's going, I just hope I find it along the way.

Suddenly, she's not yo ho no mo'.

I hate looking at your face, I wanna smash it.

Well, well, well…How the turntables…

I ran over a turtle in the parking lot But then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. But I'm not that good at puzzles.

You are! She/he is! She/he is the devil! I'm in hell! - I'm burning. Help me.

Oh you're paying way too much for worms, man. Who's your worm guy?

As soon as he messes up, I swoop in like a sexual predator.

I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.

So I put the money in my shoe, and then I forgot about it until now.

I am better than you have ever been or ever will be.

I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

That's what she said.

Look at me. Look at me! Look at this face. This is not the face of a performer. This is the face of a scary apparition you see before you die.

Its Britney, bitch.

What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy and then we all kill him, but first we take out, like, a $100,000 life insurance policy? I bet you guys like that idea, don't you?

I don't care what they say about me. . . I just want to eat.

You all took a life here today. The life of the party.

I decided to stay home, eat a bunch of tacos in my basement. Now my basement smells like tacos. You can't air out a basement. And taco air is heavy. It settles at the lowest point.

I've done a lot more for a lot less.

Last time, you pulled my pants down, and then you tried to choke me with my shoelace.

Disposable cameras are fun, but it seems a little wasteful. You never get to see your pictures.

I never smile if I can help it. Showing one's teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me, all I see is a chimpanzee begging for its life.

If that's flashing, then lock me up.

I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt.That got infected, even though I peed on it.

Hey, ___! This is Michael Jackson calling from Wonderland!

If I can't scuba, then what's this all been about?

Its like my life is buffering.

Whether it's a Gremlin or Chucky the doll--the key is to throw it in something. Like a fireplace or a tub of electricity.

Kids, sometimes it pays to be gay.

If I don't have some cake soon, I might die.

This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell out of here.

Occasionally, I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me!

___, I am in love with you. I don't believe in much, okay? I don't believe in horoscopes. I don't believe in Christmas. I sure as hell don't believe in God. But for all of the disbelief, I believe in us. I believe in love.

I am Beyoncé always.

Sometimes we play a game where we see who can fit the most m&m's in their mouth.

I tried to talk to ___ and be his/her friend, but that is like trying to be friends with an evil snail.

My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will: Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.

That's inappropriate.

Just pretend we're talking until the cops leave.

Ah, my favorite part of an ice cream party. The bagel chips.

We're all homos: homosapiens.

I love inside jokes. Love to be a part of one someday.

[cobaltedbeast]

Yo no homo but if a friend where to send you a totally platonic brotentines day card and was from friend would you be cool with that or like... Would it be homo bc liek no ho-

Nah man, go right ahead! \o/

[embur]

o wondor how obscoro or croptoc ot mokos ot of o roploco oll tho vowols w o, loko toll mo of yo con rod thos odk: tho qock brown fox jomps ovor tho lozo dog ond gos homo to fond thot tho po hos bon ovorcokod so tho fox cross bc sho wos rlo lokong forword to hovong po w tho dog odk o jost modo thot op so thor wold bo moro words bot odk o fol loko o cold rod thos w ot knowong bot bc o do know o wontod to osk