#Yes the title is a Airplane! reference

[zeivira]

Realized I hadn't posted a rz crack fic since... January??? So ofc i needed to change that (<- fic)

[z0mbiefrank]

MCR5 Theory: Secretary Gerard is a character called The Widow

I'm unsure if everyone is thinking along the same lines, but I have yet to see anyone talk about it, so I've put together this post with evidence and links. (this will expand on the 9/11 theory. also special shout out to @autistme who made a spreadsheet with all the aus eagles lyrics) MCR performed Eagles at all six Australia shows this tour. At five of them, Gerard was dressed in a grey suit and skirt, commonly referred to as the secretary or office lady by fans.

(📷 Dough Peters) Here's a quick reference table for the things I will be talking about here. (Not necessary to read, I will explain it all)

At Brisbane, the drumheads read "everything under control" followed by "here comes the airplane". The planes have yet to hit the towers, but disaster is imminent. Eagles has evolved a lot over the tour but the Aus dates heard a new consistent change in the first verse.

All along the river bends All along with all my friends Yes, all around the river bends All together with my friends

There is minimal change for Brisbane 2. Notice how gerard is dressed as the secretary and says "my friends".

Next comes Melbourne 1. The drumhead reads "TErrOR". The plane has hit and there is a dramatic change to the first verse.

All night long the widow sends Valentines to bitter friends Yes, all night long the widow sends Valentines to all my friends

This character with friends now has a title, and it is The Widow. She has lost her husband in the attack. Her friends survived and she is sending them letters of love during this terrible time.

Melbourne 2, Gerard breaks the outfit chain. He is wearing jeans and a t-shirt, there is no hint of office wear, he is no longer playing the widow, he is playing himself. The drumhead also seems unrelated to 9/11 "BARK BARK BARK". They sing the same first verse as the previous night with minimal change, except for the last line

Valentines to all her friends

This is the only instance where Gerard does not refer to the friends as "my friends" at all during aus eagles, and it is because they weren't in the skirt suit that night, they were not the widow.

Next comes Sydney. The Widow is back and she's covered in blood! Something awful has happened to her, she's dying. But the drumhead reads "UNKILLAbLe". (This was written by Frank, an extremely powerful thing for him to do considering his accident in Sydney and PTSD. MCR has always used concept albums as a vessel to speak of things the band has been through.) The widow continues to write her letters during eagles despite the blood on her face.

(📷 Jess Gleeson) Sydney 2. The Widow again. She is in the exact same outfit, down to her boots (sports mode), but this time she is not only covered in blood but her eyes are WHITE. She is dead! The drumhead now reads "Unkillables", this is no longer specifically just one, but multiple people. It could be mcr as a band, mcr as individuals, or mcr fans themselves. In the context of a concept album, unkillables can take on a whole new meaning. It brings to mind the supernatural, ghouls, vampires, werewolves. How is it that the widow is dead, yet she is walking on stage right in front of us? Staring at us with blank eyes on the big screen? Is she a ghost, a zombie? I'm not sure. But she is still the widow. Even in death, she is searching for her husband.

(📷 ashymcr , expiiredglitter)

Which leads me to Summertime. The piece of evidence that drove me to write this long-ass post. As we know, it is a love song about Gerard's marital partner. Before they played, Gerard spoke in a breathy and musically haunting voice "I'll find you. I'll find you. come find me." Definitely something a lost and ghostly widow would say. They also bring out a white handkerchief, they do not have it in any other songs. Throughout the performance, Gerard clutched it to their chest repeatedly and held it lovingly in both hands.

In the third picture, he is looking down sadly at the handkerchief singing the line "If you stay, I would even wait all night." (video)

This is very clearly The Widow. She is mourning her husband, she is dead, lost and searching for him. Perhaps the handkerchief is all she has left of him, or it is simply to dry her tears, but she is clearly in mourning for her marital partner.

And finally, Eagles at Sydney 2. The first verse stays the same except for the third line. "Yes, all night long the widow sends" becomes

Yes, all day long the widow sends

She is writing night and day. She does not rest. Her outfits in Sydney are exactly the same. Every single other secretary's outfit is subtlely different, but now she is dead, she is stuck in the same clothing like a ghost. The Widow also makes an appearance later in the song.

We found the widow And hit her with a baseball bat

I have less ideas of what this could be about, but I think if some dead lady was walking about being unkillable, people would get freaked and attack her with a baseball bat. The concept of "unkillables" is something I could write a whole other post about but I'll spare you for now.

To conclude, I think The Widow as a concept album character would fit right in with MCR. They are no strangers to lovers separated by death. Others on here have spoken on how the feminine outfits Gerard has chosen this tour have often been of women scorned or living in the shadows of powerful men. I believe The Widow would fit right in. Even after her husband has died, she is only talked about in reference to him. She is The Widow, something that tells us more about her husband than herself.

[ineffectualdemon]

PIDW Mobing:

Someone definitely tells Bingge to "call of his dog" referring to Mobei and it comes with all the homoeroticism that implies

Their fight scene for dominance when Mobei swore loyalty was also homoerotically charged

Bingge plays with Mobei's hair while threatening people

This definitely has happened at some point in the PIDW universe if not explicitly in the webnovel though I wouldn't put it past Airplane.:

"Mobei?" Luo Binghe calls, leaning away from the wife his arm is wrapped around to gently curl those dark tresses around his fingers. The back of his warm fingers grazing against cold skin.

A slight huff of amusement hangs between them as startling blue eyes meet red.

"Yes Junshang?" The title is said respectfully if you do not know how to read Mobei Jun and the tiny expressions he makes. To Luo Binghe he sees the exasperation and almost fondness. It is not the simpering adoration of his wives but rather the shared amusement between two people who in another life, could have been equals.

But here and now one is owned and knows it. Even so, his master likes to remind him of his place.

Luo Binghe could not resist tugging on the hair caught between his claws, drawing a resigned, but obedient, Mobei to lean closer.

"Be a treasure," a loaded phrase for Luo Binghe to drawl in shared company and he enjoys the sharp look that gets him.

"Kill him for me?"

The hair is allowed to slip from his fingers even though the real leash is kept tight.

"Yes Junshang" Mobei Jun says before doing what is asked.

Just like he always did.

So loyal.

So obedient.

That's why dogs are better than wives.

Canon SVSSS Luo Bing-mei and Mobei Jun:

Luo Binghe: attack!

Mobei Jun: But I have. A lot. I'm tired. I want a little break :( You do it.

Luo Binghe: ok...do something??

Mobei Jun: my hamster needs exercise so I will send him out. Shang Qinghua! I choose you! ...ah look! He's playing! I knew he needed more exercise!

Luo Binghe: ....Shizun better show up soon. My subordinate's love life depresses me :(

AND

Luo Binghe: how do I get a boy to like me? :(

Mobei Jun: kick his ass

Luo Binghe: please don't say words

Anyway that's why I can only get into OG!Binghe and OG!Mobei for Mobing and not SVSSS versions

[kimbapisnotsushi]

ojiro aran headcanons bc @luminouschaotic asked me if i had thoughts (which was. a while back) but i'm out of town for two weeks in a couple days and won't be on much so i wanted to get this done before then so LET'S GO!!

aran has like spidey-sense Chaos Instincts™️ honed by years of taking care of the miyas so much so that on his first day at inarizaki he feels a tingle down his spine and turns around just in time to catch akagi michinari falling out of a tree

aran, being the kind soul that he is, goes over to help. because if there's anything the miyas have taught him it's that if you don't intervene early on there WILL be even more severe consequences down the line than if you'd just helped them in the first place

it basically goes "hi i'm ojiro what do you need me to do and how much plausible deniability can i get from this"

don't worry akagi had just been get a paper airplane bc he might be a little shit but he's a little shit with morals who cares about the environment

he didn't get the airplane the branch broke before he could

akagi tells aran that he's going to try one more time and asks aran to stand under the tree so that aran can catch him if he falls again and aran's dreading the day akagi and the twins will finally meet

i actually think it WOULD be funny if kita and akagi had been childhood friends or something previously bc a) SOMEONE had to have been akagi's handle before high school and b) it just makes sense in my head

also i think a fundamental aspect of the shiratorizawa and inarizaki rivalry that we're overlooking is reon and aran bonding

like. they get it. they know what it's like. loving a place that does not always loves you back. having a home that does not always feel like a home. it can be hard, sometimes. but if there's one thing they agree on it's that their teams ALWAYS have their backs

(lev and liam my lovelies i have NOT forgotten about you)

also this just makes the whole "aran's irrational fear is tendou satori" a thousand times funnier

since it's established that aran references older pieces of media i like to think that means he sits down with like idk his grandparents probably and they watch all kinds of things together

sometimes the only other people who get aran's references are people who ALSO sit down and watch things with their grandparents (kuroo, kageyama, kita. . . )

the haikyuu club of good grandchildren . . .

anyways so that's how kita and aran become friends!!

oh my god . . . do you guys think his sister had those small kid puppy crushes on any of his friends . . . .

my vote is akagi or the miyas do you know how funny that would be

i think a bit that akagi does with aran is saying "oh my god this is just like [insert fictional media here]" when something (usually an Event™�� involving the miyas) happens and aran going "STOP SAYING THIS IS JUST LIKE [??] AND HELP ME"

when the third years graduate aran gives gin a gift and tells him not to open it until he gets home

when gin does open it he finds a booklet titled "how to survive the miyas: a comprehensive guide by ojiro aran" and it's at least a hundred pages long

the first page is an emergency contact list with the numbers of the miyas' parents, aran's parents, and every hospital/clinic within a fifteen-mile radius

definitely prefers a real newspaper to a digital one

i think the whole of the inarizaki third years are tech-averse tbh if you took them to one of those restaurants with the little robot servers with screens for faces they'd slow blink at it like really confused cats

this sucks especially for suna bc every time he gives his phone to one of them when he wants pictures of himself with someone or something they always come out blurry or too much exposure or some shit

i think aran and oomimi go hiking with each other on the weekends and are always pestering everyone else to go with them

they win when they promise everyone, yes, we can go out for brunch and boba after

(do the twins fall into a stream while trying to cross it? yes. did they still go to brunch afterwards, sopping wet? also yes. aran doesn't think he's ever laughed harder in his life.)

[bekolxeram]

"When the Boeing Gets Tough..."

Yes! I know! I can't believe they actually refer to Boeing by name. The show has to tread carefully. Airliners are designed to have multiple redundancies in case of a catastrophic system failure. Every single crucial flight system has a backup and a backup for the backup. It takes many different failures in a chain of events to bring down a modern airliner. The aviation world calls it the Swiss cheese model.

With the 8x03 title confirmed as Final Approach, it gives more weight to the S8 opening disaster being an emergency landing.

If the Airport 1975 theory is correct, as in a light aircraft crashing into a big airliner leaving the first officer dead and the captain blinded, leaving the unexperienced flight attendant/passenger attempting to land the aircraft with professional instructions, it would be pretty damaging to Boeing's reputation.

There is something called TCAS (Traffic collision avoidance system), required to be fitted to every airliner after the 80s. The air traffic controllers at major Californian airports also have a warning system at their disposal to separate potentially conflicting traffic. If the show just decides to ignore this crucial system for safety, I can't imagine Boeing being happy about it. It's been dealing with bad PR since the 2 MCAS crashes, then the door plug blowout and lately the Starliner stranding 2 astronauts in space for longer than expected.

People have been mocking Airport 1975 for being unrealistic, because the head-on collision with the light aircraft somehow only tore a small human size hole in the cockpit without damaging the rest of the 747 too much. I can think of something in the modern days that actually makes such a precise but catastrophic damage?

A drone, trying to get the best aerial shots for a hit TV show about firefighters.

TCAS scans the surrounding airspace for transponders, which every aircraft flying near the busy SoCal airspace has to be equipped with, but not drones.

It's a super wild guess, but I just think it would be interesting for Bobby's story, accidentally putting his wife in danger again through indirect action, but this time he gets to save her.

Also, as I mentioned before, this is an Airbus.

I don't know why they're referencing Boeing here, but I did see this blurry shot of a Boeing aircraft in the background here, in one of the bts photos:

So I don't know, does this emergency involve 2 different airplanes? Is the Airbus crashing into the Boeing? Is the Boeing trying to stop the Airbus or vice versa? I have zero ideas.

I can't wait to be wrong with all of you.

[greenhorn-art]

An Incomplete Account of That Guy, Ye Xiu by TheDefenestrator

Fandom: 全职高手 | The King's Avatar

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Category: Gen

Words: 2,009

Chen Guo was not the first person to meet an adult “Ye Xiu”—he wasn’t that unused to pulling out his ID.

Collection: All-Stars: The King's Avatar Zine

ABOUT THE BOOK

FORMAT: Letter quarto (trimmed), flatback casebinding, french link stitch, no tapes

FONTS: Times New Roman, Permanent Marker [via Google Fonts], KaiTi

IMAGES:

MATERIALS: 24lb Xerox Bold Digital paper (8.5"x11"), 80pt binder's board (~2mm), 30/3 size waxed linen thread, 1.9mm cording, purple cardstock, Iris bookcloth: Grey Purple, DecoArt Crafter's Acrylic paint: Yellow Gold, 20lb printer paper, paste wax

PROGRAMS USED: Affinity Publisher, Bookbinder-JS

.

Snapshots of people meeting Ye Xiu, only to later learn he is Ye Qiu. A fun little fic! This fic is pretty much the theme of my latest three binds.

On July 2, 2024 I opened my AO3 bookmarks, looking for a short fic to bind. By July 7 I had a set of three completed books with the same premise.

[First, Second, Third]

I went with a black-and-white theme for the typeset, based off of the symbols for the scene breaks. Primarily set in Times New Roman for continuity between the three books. Permanent Marker was added into the mix because I wanted something more bold to go with the scene breaks. Chinese characters are in KaiTi, my go-to Simplified Chinese font.

Each scene break is an icon related to the preceding scene. The symbols are special characters in the font Segoe UI Symbol. Each one is unique (mostly because I really wanted to use the mahjong tiles).

💤 [zzz]: YX slumped almost sleeping in an internet café

🖧 [Three Networked Computers]: the crowd of playing games in an internet café

🚬 [a lit cigarette]: YX buying cigarettes

📸 [camera with flash]: All the photographer's photos YX 'photobombs'

🀫 [the back of a mahjong title]: the games YX plays with the auntie

[2 avatar icons, larger one in front, smaller one behind and to the right]: Employees backstage wondering about YX's presence there all these years

💼 [briefcase]: The office job the shop owners think YX has

✈ [airplane]: The flight YX's on where he gives a harried mother's son a game to play

💻 [laptop]: At the start of a competition a staff member meets YX | YQ

[gamepad video game controller]: The boy from the plane YX gave his handspeed testing game to

🏃 [running person]: The store owners who refer to YX as "that nice running boy"

📷 [camera]: The photographers and editors who bemoan the fact that they've been editing out their god this whole time

[avatar with a blocked status symbol] - "he doesn't even work here"

🀨 [Mahjong Autumn tile]: the mahjong tile is face-up now that YX's identity as YQ has been revealed. I was considering using 🀈 the Two of Characters tile because the character on it is 萬 (SC:万 wàn) meaning 10 000 which is a myriad, and the 2 for YX's double identities. ('Myriad Manifestations Umbrella' is a bit of a misnomer: a myriad constitutes ten thousand, while the 千 in 千机伞 is one thousand).

🗣 [silhouette of head shouting]: "Guys check this out!" everyone in the internet café is excited that their local expert is God Ye

🏪 [Convenience Store]: the cashier who sells cigarettes

[mouse and keyboard]: the internet café manager

I added a black box (slightly askew) to the title and headings for a slightly more graphic, black & white design to go with the symbols.

For the bookcloth I went with a desaturated purple because it gives me vaguely inconclusive/unknown/mysterious/incomplete vibes. The endpapers are a matching (if more saturated) purple, following the bookcloth-endpaper coordination within this set of books.

After cleaning up the edges of the textblock by trimming them, I painted the edges, and made the endbands. Because the books are all so thin I was able to reuse some of the bookcloth trimmed off the corners of the case. (The rest of the offcuts go into a bag. I hoard my scrap cloth, thread, and decorative paper to add swatches in my bookbinding catalogue).

I printed out a variety of labels: different sizes, different dimensions, plain text, title page. I chose a 1.5" square formatted like the title pages, waxed the paper, then positioned it slightly above centre.

[larry-is-my-anchor1]

Season 8 episode 7 of 911. I started watching 911 because of Buddie. I saw all these posts about the show, but specifically about Eddie and Buck. I thought to myself, wow here is a show with two men in a health loving and appears to be a sexual relationship.

What cable show is it on?! I was surprised it was on Fox! Made sense the show was picked up by ABC. I was happily pleased to see that although Eddie and Buck were though not in a sexual relationship, they appeared to be potentially heading there. As they’re clearly head over heels for one another.

But I also fell in love with the show because it is well written and well represented. Beautiful paralleling stories about the importance of each individual person to a specific time. It made me feel good to watch this imaginary world, where these group of people who although had their differences, they chose each other to be family and fought for that title daily. Sometimes quite literally.

Yet I’m not sure why this season feels flat to me. I’ve said this before. And it may be because I have to wait a whole week and I’m expecting too much. While before I plowed through the series like nothing because all of the older episodes were released already.

It’s not really flat, there was that big sweeping save Athena did copiloting a commercial airplane.

I throughly enjoyed all the other seasons. Heck I’m rewatching it. Currently on season 6 when Buck is in that fever dream coma. It’s a lovely written episode. And yes I cannot wait to see a substantial Buddie scene but that’s not all I am looking for. But also this season the parts not having to do with Buddie feel flat. Like it’s just filler. This episode was just meh.

We see Athena busting a ring of jewelry thieves using the dark web to recruit people. She appears to hurt herself somehow but I thought the reason was lame. Yes Angela Bassett is older but she looks amazing. She’s so fit and in great shape. It just wasn’t believable to me. But I guess they had to set up the scene with her rookie partner somehow.

So now I’ve just am looking for glimmers of thoughtfulness, if I don’t get an entire episode, story line or of someone being saved. Such as the touching scene between Athena and Hen having a discussion about getting older.

There is another scene where the Han’s have dinner with Buck, to see how he’s doing, only to discover he’s coping with the break up by baking. Buck tells them he’s doing that instead texting or calling Temu. I still can’t believed, Buck dated both Abbey and Temu. Like that stuff only happens to him. Maddie wisely advises him to move forward and not backwards.

Some scenes later Buck is cooking at the firehouse, then we see him have a similar conversation with the 118. Then Eddie and Hen steal his phone so Buck can’t text Temu, who Buck noticed was bubbling his phone. Buck is chasing Eddie and Hen in the dining/ living area. Eddie also refers to Buck as buddy, which made me smile.

Even Nash compared Temu to alcohol.

It’s interesting to me how everyone is telling Buck to move forward. Didn’t they like Temu? Wouldn’t Eddie stay out of it before? And how little Tommy knew about things in Buck’s life. I want to see flashbacks to the 118 saying they didn’t like Temu for Buck.

The rest of the episode is Athena realized the rookie partner is in over his head and the police academy should have not put him through, since he shoots a random lady he and his new partner we pull over.

The 118 return to the set of Hot Shots. They rescue an actor who Brad had stuck on a crane. Callum Blu (who is a nod to Oliver, hoping not an exact match), plays Brad brilliantly. He’s still head over heels for Bobby, so much that he wants captain doofus fired. I can understand. But Jo firehouse wants him. And Bobby wants to stay with the 118. Another thing the fans said was Brad’s character would be out in a coma like Buck was, so he can trail Bobby to be a better captain.

Side note what a stupid name for a television show. Did Taylor really write that book? Is she behind the creation of the show? I haven’t seen her on their tv’s for sometime now.

Nash gets pulled back into making things right between Brad and captain douche. They’re both a douche. I appreciated Nash telling them both off.

A very sweet scene between Jee and Buck baking. It was odd how Maddie and Chimney just dropped off their daughter with their uncle. But they figured Buck was still moping and baking. He could use some human contact. None Temu contact to be exact.

But no big stories with the other characters, so I am wondering if all the gooey writing is going to be for Buddie? I just expected based on previous episodes/seasons better thought out with how the stories were woven out. Maybe they weren’t expecting to be picked up and it’s all haphazard? I kind of felt that way season 7 tbh.

In season 6 episode 17 for example every call the 118 went on deleted back to what Eddie, Buck and Chimney all were coping with. I don’t know why in the newer seasons the emergency calls have not.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #296: HEARTS of OAK... and HEADS to MATCH!

October, 1988

The Beginning of the END!

Yes, good, let this end.

This run is a bummer.

But hey, the Hearts of Oak... and Heads to Match title is a Pogo reference. That’s fun!

What’s with all the quote titles lately?

Anyway, back to Dr Druid putting Black Knight out of his misery. And mine.

It is a sad state when the Avengers have been reduced down to four and half is trying to kill the other half because Druid is an asshole.

Last times in Avengers: Hoo boy, where to start.

Dr Druid has been having ominous sex dreams about a lady who is secretly Nebula Kang and will later be revealed to be even more secretly Ravonna but its not written like she is now but honestly she’s not written like she’s Nebula either.

Under the influence of sex dreams, Dr Druid undermined Avengers chairwoman Captain Marvel Monica Rambeau, made her stupid herself almost to death, and then used psychic voter fraud to get himself made the new chairman.

Nebula Kang Ravonna needs the Avengers to find some super-duper-secret-weapon that the Council of Kangs is looking for. Playing on Dr Druid’s arrogance and power fantasies, she has him pretty thoroughly under her thumb and he can keep Black Knight and She-Hulk under his own thumb. But Thor resists the psychic whammy so Nebula Kang tries to get Thor killed by robot T. Rex from the future that’s more than meets the eye.

She-Hulk and Black Knight shake the psychic control when Druid tells them to ignore Thor’s calls for assistance. Black Knight manages to escape and help Thor beat the robot T. Rex notTransformer but She-Hulk is left in Dr Druid and Nebula Kang’s clutches.

Also, Black Knight fell out of an airplane and into a lake and is under the effects of a turbo curse so he had to go to the hospital.

And Thor isn’t the type to patiently sit in the waiting room reading old New Yorkers.

After Thor finishes walking his way through hospital staff trying to get him to chill, he finds Black Knight’s hospital bed empty.

A doctor shows up, lightly chides Thor for not chilling, and tells Thor that since Black Knight’s life wasn’t in danger but he was too dangerous to keep in a hospital bed, they let him go.

He’s out back, in the parking lot. Being accosted by reporters who have somehow already heard about the thing where Black Knight’s body is as sharp as a sword.

Apparently, between issues, Black Knight sliced right through a hospital bed and several floors to land in the basement.

That sure would have been fun to ACTUALLY SEE.

Bah.

Thor has not much patience for the first amendment.

Thor: “Better a company of Frost Giants than a gagle of reporters!”

He swings Mjolnir around to kick up a strong wind and obscure himself and Dane, Black Knight, from view.

Thor asks Dane how he’s doing. And Dane recap/confirms that his curse is still cursing him.

He’s fused into his armor and his hand slices through stuff like a sword. He can control it if he’s awake though. In case you wanted to be a clever dick, flipping through the pages and going hey why isn’t he cutting through stuff there, why isn’t Dr Druid filleted like a fish?

Oh. Speaking of which.

Black Knight tells Thor that Dr Druid is a dick, he’s using mind control on the Avengers, he tried to stop Dane from coming to Thor’s aid, and that he has She-Hulk bound to a chair.

Thor and Black Knight hammer-throw-fly off to Hydrobase and the reporter who is a winking reference to Superman shows up again, although his hair is the wrong color.

Hi, Clark, random journalist.

In Simonson’s Thor run, which is actually good, Thor in his new secret identity of guy in glasses and ponytail bumped into a journalist named Clark. They both almost sorta seemed to recognize each other.

So a journalist named Clark saying that he imagines Thor puts his hair in a ponytail when he’s off-duty is an extension of that joke.

And now I’ve explained it and its surely just as funny as if you’d gotten the reference without help.

Back at Hydrobase, Dr Druid, Nebula Kang, She-Hulk, and Jarvis hi Jarvis! see the CNN report showing Thor and Black Knight leaving the hospital.

Nebula Kang is basically in-charge now, as she starts making plans on how to deal with Thor not being as dead as she'd prefer.

She asks She-Hulk if she can handle Thor.

She-Hulk: "No problem. Those blond brains are strictly Stone Age vintage. It would never occur to him to watch out for a woman!"

??? What

And Dr Druid will handle Black Knight. Er, I mean, he'll handle correcting Black Knight's misunderstanding of the situation! Haha we're all friends here!

Meanwhile, god dammit we're still doing the Council- my mistake, the Cross-Time Kang Korps plot.

Beard Kang is announcing to the Kollected Kangs that this entire organization is a waste of time and that instead of doing anything productive, they've all been canoodling with Nebula Kang. Yes, that's right. All of them.

The best and maybe only good thing that comes out of this entire subplot is that when Beard Kang brings this up, all of the Kangs try to look nonchalant and then blame every other Kang for being a horny idiot while claiming to be above reproach themselves.

Beard Kang: "I can't stand it. The cream of the time travelers. Without an ounce of brain among them."

Beard Kang takes Fred Kang and another Kang who the fuck can tell what his cute nickname is and heads off to handle the Nebula Kang problem himself. Because, again, this entire large Kang Kollective are a bunch of horny idiots who think with their dicks.

Are you enjoying getting to do a Kang story, Simonson? Is this everything you imagined it would be?

I'm sour because nothing done so far has justified bring Kang back so soon after the last big Kang story that also used a big Kang organization.

Back at the A-Plot, Thor and Black Knight arrive at Hydrobase.

The Heavy Metal story made it look like it had way more buildings and none of those quite look like Avengers Mansion, which was airlifted to the island.

Black Knight warns that Dr Druid will be expecting them but Thor says its no big because they've got a Thor. It's him. He's the Thor.

Plus, the Avengers STILL haven't fully rebuilt from the attack of Heavy Metal so most of the defense systems aren't online for Druid to use against them.

Then they see She-Hulk standing over a knocked out Dr Druid.

This would work a lot better on the audience if we hadn't seen She-Hulk planning how to beat up Thor with Nebula Kang.

She-Hulk claims she busted free of that bondage chair and whalloped Druid but good.

She-Hulk: "He wasn't much of a gentleman while you boys were gone. So I didn't feel like being much of a lady."

BUT TWAS RUSE!

Dr Druid jumps up and FZAPTs the back of Black Knight's neck, claiming it will make him much more reasonable.

While Thor is shocked by the sudden attack on his pal, his friend, his rotten soldier, She-Hulk puts a device on Thor's neck as well.

Black Knight tries to fight back against Dr Druid but the doctor just turns up the power on the device and Black Knight falls with a FZZAPT!

Thor tries to fight She-Hulk but the device make him uncoordinated and she's able to knock him around.

She-Hulk: "I've been waiting a long time to knock the arrogance out of you, Thor!"

??? Have you?

She-Hulk holds Thor down long enough for Dr Druid to put additional devices on the thunder god. A total of three "mindbenders."

Dr Druid: "When they awaken, they will be real Avengers at last! Completely obedient!"

Eat a stump, Druid.

She-Hulk is skeptical that the mindbenders will work on someone as stubborn as Thor but blue Nebula Kang assures She-Hulk that the mindbenders work great. Why, they're working so well on She-Hulk (that explains that), the Avenger wouldn't hesitate to jump off a cliff if Nebula asked.

Meanwhile? Beard Kang and co are watching what just happened on a monitor. He's very concerned that Nebula Kang has already taken over the Avengers.

Because, dammit, the Cross-Time Kang Korps was supposed to be doing that!

The Korp really does suck ass at its one mission.

Fred Kang asks for more information since he did bring Nebula's treachery to Beard Kang's notice. He could be more helpful if he knew more.

Beard Kang agrees that Fred has earned the right to know.

Beard Kang: "We have discovered something so big, so dangerous, that even we Kangs could not rival it for power. A Celestial. A renegade Celestial who fell from grace but not from power... and who has, through means we cannot begin to guess at, constructed a weapon mighty enough to threaten the entire space-time structure of the Omniverse! It must be a wonderful thing... and WE want it!

I hate omniverse as a term. Prefer multi-verse. I think omniverse might be the multi-verse of multi-verses but that’s really way too big to be stakes.

Anyway.

This supposed paragon of weapons is located 20 years in the future of where the Avengers comics are in this issue. And in that period of 20 years in the future, there is a massive time bubble "some fifteen years long"!

Cool. That's. Entirely unhelpful as a descriptor.

Huh. Just struck me how history and/or comic book plots repeat themselves.

In the current Avengers comics, the big plot is Kang wanting to get some secret prize hidden in a time bubble and needing the Avengers' help to do it.

Someone must specifically be a Simonson's Avengers fan... but why?

Anyway, there's so much text. The exposition dump is unbelievable.

The Cross-Time Kang Korp Council Whatever got images of the time bubble at the cost of three Kangs. Apparently by the three Kangs driving a ship right into the bubble and exploding.

There's weird probability flux around the bubble so that trying to enter it causes the violent destruction of the craft or for it to just cease to exist.

What the Kang Council Korp Afterschool Club knows is that the only people known to succeed in entering the bubble are the Avengers.

Which Avengers? The current Avengers? Who knows. Probability flux. But definitely a team of Avengers yup definitely won't be only very technically true!

The only thing Beard Kang knows for sure about the group of definitely Avengers is that Thor is with them.

And if Nebula Kang kills Thor for being too hard to control... well, the Kangs will never get the super-duper-pooper weapon thats at the heart of the time bubble.

So here's a weird twist. The Kangs have to protect the Avengers!

Huh! Weird!

(If you'd led with that and had A Kang hanging around the team, I might be more enthused about this plotline, gonna be honest. Kang has to protect the Avengers is a great premise.)

Back at Hydrobase, Nebula Kang is telling the Avengers the score.

Nebula Kang: "You, my salves, you are the key! The Kangs were prepared to wait until the Avengers gathered themselves together to unravel the enigma of the mysterious time-bubble. The Kangs think because they can travel through time, there is no need to move quickly, to strike when the iron is hot! They think they can simply wait until the fire is ready! But I have seized the moment and by the time the Kangs realize what is happening... it will be too late, even for them!"

Mindbent Thor urges that they delay no longer and go get Nebula that weapon!

Of course, he also doesn't really know how they'd even go about that. Mjolnir can't time travel anymore right now.

But Nebula Kang boasts that she's a Mistress of Time because of all the Kangs she slept with and stole technology from.

Nebula Kang: "The corridors of all ages are mine to walk as I will. And it was all so easy. You'd think that none of the Kangs had ever seen a woman before."

This is the plot Simonson decided to bring Nebula back for.

Nebula Kang further exposits (because villains love exposition) that she didn't know about the Council of Cross-Time Kangs (I thought it was the Cross-Time Kang Korp, make up your fucking mind) until she met her first Kang and knew that she could exploit the goober and his technology. And since the Kang was one of the council, she found out about more Kangs that she could seduce.

So she killed her first Kang and took his place.

Real quick though.

I guess this is where Nebula ended up after the Beyonder teleported her.

But she doesn't mention the Beyonder or having been fighting the Avengers previously or that she was teleported to a random space-time and just happened to run into Kang.

If this is picking up Nebula after the previous story, it doesn't feel like it! It doesn't even feel like specifically Nebula, who was mostly a space pirate trading on Thanos' name and his war crime of a spaceship to exploit the Skrull civil war.

Now she's sex infiltrating a secret Kang council that shouldn't exist based on the last Kang story and seeking a weapon that can threaten the OMNIVERSE.

I'm not saying that a character can't shift like that but there's a disconnect. We don't even know for sure that it was being teleported by the Beyonder that threw Nebula in Kang's path.

Which is a shame because getting thrown across space by an unfathomable cosmic entity in a silly outfit after getting embarrassed by the Avengers could be great motivation for Nebula to want to up her game. Get a weapon so powerful that no one could ever mess with her again. And if she can mess with the Avengers on her way, so much the better.

But we get an unexplained Nebula shift into sexmurdering her way to cosmic power and a time prophecy that the Avengers can get into a time bubble for some reason.

I guess it is a good thing that this will be retconned. Because its not a great use of your Nebulas.

Anyway.

On top of all the time technology that she stole with seduction, she seduced information about the Great Weapon and what was needed to get it from the Council and/or Korp.

Maybe there's something to the idea that Nebula Kang is motivated to prevent further Beyonder-esque humiliations because she goes on a rant.

Nebula Kang: "Throughout the ages, power has rested in the hands of the many! The greatest armies, the strongest armadas, the most powerful airships... And though they are terrible to reckon with, such forces are ultimately vulnerable to destruction from within. In time, the struggle of individuals to control such great power ruptures the use of the power! And the entity collapses under its own weight. But what if the power, the living power itself, were in the hands of a single individual and her mindbent slaves? Instead of a chain of command, there is only the word... the word of a living and vengeful god! And the word would be 'death'! In my hands, no being in all the Omniverse would be safe! Neither great fleets of starships nor impregnable fortresses of adamantium would be proof against me!"

How do you know what adamantium is?

Anyway.

I think that's a Cobra man, perhaps a commander obscured by falling debris. After the notTransformers reference the previous issue, I'm not discounting it.

Thor asks for more information about this mysterious weapon but Nebula isn't trusting that information to anyone, not even to mindbent slaves.

She does say that she may have to destroy a universe, to prove that she'd do it.

Does that work as a threat? People can't usually see the destruction of other universes. You can see a nearby city get razed or hear about a calamity befalling another country but its very hard to hear about another universe.

It took a bit of digging for the people in Marvel's march to Secret Wars 2015 to realize that's what they were dealing with.

Nebula Kang: "That weapon is the birthright of the granddaughter of Thanos... and I shall have it!"

Then, Nebula Kang puts Black Knight in charge of refitting a Quinjet with her stolen technology.

Thor is helping carry a variable locus generator over to the Quinjet but Dr Druid yoinks it out of his hands with PSYCHIC POWERS so he can be smug.

Dr Druid: "You see, Avengers, the measure of a man is the development of his psychic facilities... And those of Doctor Druid have been developed to the peak of perfection. Which is why I am the leader of this group. Mind over matter, my dear thunder god. As simple as that."

Which leads Thor to think bitterly about how Dr Druid is showing him up in front of the Nebula, who they all serve.

Even though they're all being controlled by Nebula, Thor is still tired of Dr Druid's shit.

BACK AT THE KANG KLUBHOUSE, the Kangs have decided to send some Kangs to stop Nebula Kang.

They gotta send some Kangs because the Time Bubble is making it hard to spy on the time period she’s messing around in.

The council chooses Beard Kang to represent the Wisdom of the Kangs (lol), Fred Kang to represent the knowledge of the era, and Kang from Earth Mesozoic-24 because he’s one of their finest warriors.

IS HE A DINOSAUR?

Under his mask, I mean. He looks like a generic Kang. Its Beard Kang and two generic Kangs. I know that one of them is Specialist Boy Fred but I can’t pick him out of a crowd.

Beard Kang says they need to avoid alerting the Avengers to Kangs interfering in the time stream because they don’t know how the Avengers will eventually get into the Time Bubble or even which ones will. They don’t want to risk injuring or killing any of the Avengers.

One imagines that interference might also change how time plays out in other ways.

(I wonder if this explains what eventually happens)

Beard Kang also says that since Nebula Kang betrayed the Cross-Time Kang Corps Klubhouse Corporation so she gets the worst of punishments. They’re gonna remove all traces of her from history.

Take that.

Meanwhile, on Earth-616 Time: When this comic was published.

The Avengers and Nebula Kang are all in the Quinjet getting ready to leave.

As security/a dick move, she orders Jarvis to stay where he is until they come back. And to not reveal anything to anyone. “You will die of a heart attack if necessary first.”

Fiend. Evil.

Jarvis is a delightful guy and you are a rude.

The Quinjet skreacckt! BOOM!s away with its super special FTL drive.

And immediately after, the three Kangs show up.

Mesozoic Kang is fascinated that this is a Jarvis because the Jarvis he knows is so different.

Beard Kang calls Mesozoic Kang a lizard SO I GUESS HE IS A DINOSAUR?

Would it have killed to give him a cooler design than generic then?

One of the two generic Kangs demands Jarvis tell them where the Avengers are but Jarvis refuses. The other generic Kang suggests breaking the mindbender that is mind bending Jarvis’ mind but Beard Kang says that if they didn’t properly decrypt it, the removal would kill him and they still wouldn’t know anything.

And Beard Kang’s time probe can’t find the Avengers because they’re hidden by multiple probabilities. Probably because of the infinite improbability drive variable locus generator.

Beard Kang declares well dangit they’ll just have to go after the Avengers no matter the danger!

Not sure how they’re going to do that if they don’t know where the Avengers are but hey. But hey. Kangs work in dumb ways.

Meanwhile in the future, yes meanwhile in the future, the time turbulence buffets the Quinjet.

It even looks like the Quinjet will be shaken apart.

Why, there’s even a red light on the left existential turbine! The Quinjet drops to 94% existence! Good thing they can increase power to the redundancy generator!

I’m sure this all makes sense.

But with Nebula Kang’s insistence that they either make it through or die, they do make it through.

Not through the Time Bubble, no. Not yet. But through the time turbulence around the Time Bubble.

That’s sure. A bubble.

I guess.

In fairness, I don’t know how you’d visualize a bubble, in time, and also in space so it may as well look like stained glass. More interesting to look at.

The new issue ends this specific arc but you know how it is. We’re alternating over to West Coast Avengers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because what if this story suddenly gets really, REALLY good? Its hypothetically possible! Like and reblog and comment, maybe. I love the feedback.

[sweetheartreader27]

Halo-Halo!!! I'm genuinely sorry about not updating and posting 🥹😭

My final exam just finished 🎉 I finally started to make a fanfic again (fufu for my Lukey) and I now have a 3 pending ongoing fanfic idea. But for now, I hope y'all enjoy!

Note: this story will have an another part

Title: Fox on the Hunt? Pt. 1

Pairing: Luke x fox! Fem reader

Words: 3,658

Through a dark cloudy afternoon, y/n, a long white haired nine tailed fox with her long pointy ears and ruffled tails matching up with her kimono (you can take spirit blossom Ahri outfit as a reference) , trying to take a nap to ignore her hunger not until she heard ruffle noises that makes her ears twitches, she couldn't ignore the fact that it could be a walker or a survivor so she goes were the noise coming.

She runs and runs until she sees two men, one is a bald old man and the other one is a younger brown haired man with a light moustache, they are surrounded with Walkers and she couldn't just stand and watch so she interferes. Claws out and slashes have been made causing the walkers to be headless and lifeless once for all, casting spells right in and right there until the area was clear. Until...

???: luke! Looked out!

Y/n noticed and suddenly sprint to the brown haired man and pull him close to her while she hold the walkers head by its forehead and start to ice it until its toes, she looked back at the man who is on her arm with worried on her eyes. Suddenly, she noticed that she just exposed herself and quickly let go of him and back away.

???: hey uh fox lady, what's your name?

Y/n noticed how the bald old man kept his nerve, she kept quiet while her ears turn to an airplane mode and tails crumble together to a ball.

???: it's okay we are not gonna hurt you, I'm Pete, and this man with me is Luke.

Luke: h-hi

Pete: so, may I know what your name is? We can't just call you a fox lady forever.

Y/n: y-you two are not freaked out about my appearance?...

Y/n still keeping her distance from them.

Luke: n-no of course not, you are much better to see than those lurkers-

Luke noticed her cheeks blushed a little and saw her tails making a soft slow wagging.

Luke's mind: (g-god she is too cute, uniquely cute!)

He tries to stay still and Pete notices the finger fidgeting Luke's doing, he was about to tap him when they heard her speak.

Y/n: u-um I'm Y/n, Y/n Firestone...

She said while she fidget and wandered her eyes from the area to keep her eyes not to look at the two men. Suddenly she heard snarling and a girl's voice that seemed struggling, without hesitation, she ran towards the location of the girl, leaving the two men behind.

Pete: wait up! Damn she's fast

Luke: For real

Pete notices the honey glazed look on him while Luke stares at the direction where Y/n ran, Pete smirks and pat Luke's shoulder quickly.

Pete: quick kid, let's follow her

Luke: y-yeah

They started to run and follow the fox girl ahead of them, they saw her stop and quickly dropped a strong hard kick on a Lurker's head, causing it to be crushed so much. Y/n looked at the girl and saw she is closed at passing out, she put her to her back, giving her a piggy back, tails wrapping up to the little girl in a defense position. Y/n gasped and saw the bite on the girl's arm, she take a deep breath and start to examine it firmly by just her sight. Not for long, the two men managed to locate her and they looked at her while panting until Luke panicked.

Luke: oh shit!

Pete: what what? Kid what's wrong?

Luke: the kid, she's bit

Y/n: yes she's bit but not from those dead beakers

Luke scoff and start to pace back and forth and he spoke, that leaves Y/n shocked and frowned from his suggestion.

Luke: let's end her misery, right now

Y/n: don't you ever try, if you try to do something about her, I'll make sure to bit your arm and rip it off, more than this girl been through

Luke was shocked but due to his defense system of his own gut feeling he continues to argue with the fox lady, tension is building up between the two, Pete decides to step in.

Pete: that's enough you two

The two of them linger their sight to Pete.

Pete: you two are drawing attention due to your raising voices right now.

As soon Pete said that, Luke and Y/n got been silent. After a moment, Y/n felt a grumble and movement at her back, she notice that the girl is somehow fine and functioning enough to speak up.

???: please... Help... I'm not bitten by a walker...

Y/n: hey hey, easy kiddo. I know you are not bitten by those bastards, what's your name?

???: Clementine... My name is Clementine...

Y/n: okay Clementine, I'm Y/n, these two are Luke and Pete

Pete: so Clementine, are you sure you are not bitten by a lurker?

Clem: yes, I was bitten by a dog

Luke: a dog? I don't see a dog here

Y/n: Luke.

Clem: I... Killed it

Luke: what?! Why?!

Y/n and Pete looked at an extravagant Luke from what Clem stated. Both of them tried to keep him in one place and talked about it.

Pete: well what would you do if that happens to you?

Luke: I... I don't know, it's just, you don't kill dogs..

Pete: so Clementine, you really are not bitten by a lurker?

Clem: yes

Pete: hmm okay, you are good

Luke: what? That's it?

Y/n: Luke..

Y/n gave Clementine a piggy back again while Luke and Pete guided y/n to their cabin until she felt a little more extra weight on her back, realizing the kid fell asleep.

-

After a couple of minutes walking, they reach the cabin that Pete and Luke were talking about, Pete excuses himself to go inside, probably to get the doctor to check up on the kid until-

???: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

???: JESUS! FIRST A LURKER, NOW A FUCKING FOX GIRL THING ?!

???: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Three Adults greeted them with hostility, well most likely direct to Y/n. One is a big black fluff guy, a pregnant woman, and a blue eyed man. Luke jumps in the scene and said-

Luke: hey! Don't be like that, Rebecca. She saves us out there!

Rebecca: so?! She might be a new puppet of Carver!

Y/n couldn't just let this woman bad mouth of her so she interfer with respect to her.

Y/n: Excuse me Ms. Rebecca isn't it?, I know you have doubted me and you are protective of your own safety, I genuinely understood that, but I'm telling you, I have been living on my own ever since this hell hole started. I stumble at your people due to the danger I sense from their direction-

Rebecca: Why should I believe in a dog like you-

Y/n: it's called "humanity" Ms. Rebecca. I may look like a freak to you due to my natural appearance but I bleed, feel emotions, tired, and hungry like a survivor like you. I may be like this and I know due to a trait like that of mine. I could cross to bad people, but it's because of my genuineness to help others to survive because I KNOW, that I'm not the only one surviving in this world. Also, I'm not a dog.

The group went quiet, guilt and frowns were earned from them. Luke's mouth was wide open on how Y/n firmly handle the situation without getting in a very stressed state, like she doesn't faze about it.

Luke's mind: (very timid, professional, and calm, g-god she is so cunning too)

Luke couldn't help but felt a lot of thumps on his chest, his heart is racing. The tension dies when Pete was walking out from the cabin with a spanish man on his side. They both come together in front of Y/n.

Pete: This is Carlos, he is our doctor

Y/n: greetings Mr. Carlos, will you please check on the little girl on me? Her name was Clementine and she was bit by a dog..

Carlos: hm... Let me see her wounds

Y/n nods and let Carlos do what he can to examine the sleeping clem on her back. Carlos start to softly held Clem's wounded arm and try to examine through it.

Nick: Was it a lurker bite?!

Carlos: relax for a bit, Nick. Whatever is out there, it got her good. This type of bite could be anything.

Luke: then... What should we do to her?

Carlos: we wait, we will see if she will have a high flu

???: what if she turns?

Rebecca: Alvin, we will put her out of her misery

Alvin: What?!

Y/n: wait you can't-

Gunshot has been heard so loud, making Y/n's ears plop down so much. She looked up and saw the blue eyed man was quite agitated to pull the trigger until Pete butted in.

Pete: better take your finger away from the trigger, Nick

Someone peeked out coming from the cabin.

???: who is she? Who is the fox lady?

Carlos: what did I tell you, Sarah. Don't come out

Sara obliged to the man's order and closed the door, Y/n assumed that's the doctor's daughter but she choose not to brought it up. After a couple moments of them having a briefing, Y/n drop Clementine softly, the chatter dies to silence and Carlos spoke.

Carlos: we need to put the little girl in the shed and observe if she will turn. If she's not, then I will patch her up

Clem: please, I just need my arm to be patch up and I will go away and never come back here

Alvin: we have a plenty of-

Rebecca: Alvin.

Alvin: we can't help you out...

Rebecca looked at Y/n with a hard frowned.

Rebecca: this "FOX" too should be put at the shed with the bitten girl, she must be a danger here

After Rebecca said that, Luke was getting frustrated and frowning so hard and butted in the conversation.

Luke: Hey! She is not a danger. She saved me and Pete while we are surrounded by lurkers, she just trying to-

Y/n: Luke, it's fine. Ms. Rebecca, I understand what you are trying to point out here, I will go with Clem on the shed to keep a reassurance to all of you

Luke: Wait wait wait, Y/n you don't have too-

Y/n: I couldn't just let the kid alone, Luke. Bitten by a lurker or not, I will take care of the kid, we both are the ones who don't belong here, thank you for what you can do Luke

Luke saddened and just nodded, y/n softly smiled and rest a hand at Clem's shoulder, signaling her to follow her up, her tails combining to a big fluff tail. They both reached the shed, Nick signals Y/n and Clem to go in, they comply. Luke closed the shed tight while looking at y/n with full of concern.

-

A rainy evening, Clem and Y/n in the shed just sat down, making conversation about their lives before this shit hole happens, Y/n using her healing ability to heal up the bite after she recovered some of her mana.

Y/n: how are you feeling now?

Clem: I feel good, it's like I didn't get bitten

Y/n: well, I heal it up 100%

Clem: thank you

Y/n: no worries, kid

Clem hugged Y/n tightly on how she was grateful to her for supporting her side despite being a stranger to each other. Y/n hugged back and comfort the kid with the warm of her body since it's still raining hard at the outside. Clem looked at Y/n and said-

Clem: you seem... Hungry

Y/n laughes and looked at her then said-

Y/n: sorry about that, I haven't eaten for days now

Clem: oh

Y/n realized something after she said that.

Y/n: now that you mentioned it-

She started to ruffle her satchel and luckily to see one chocolate bar. She planned to eat it until she heard a stomach grumble coming from the kid. Without hesitation, she unwrapped the top of the bar and offering it to Clementine.

Y/n: here you go, all yours

Clem: thank you but you don't have too-

Y/n: I will be fine, I can suppress my hunger for much longer, you need to eat, Clem

Clem: are you sure?

Y/n: gorgeously sure

Clem thanked her and started devouring the chocolate bar like a hungry animal. After a moment of Clem eating the snack Y/n notices what Clem is looking, then Y/n patted her tails to invite Clem to rest on.

Clem: you don't have-

Y/n: it's fine, kid. Trust me it's totally fine, besides you need to regain your strength from what happen today, I'll keep a watch on the time

Clem hesitates first but gradually lays on her tails, she doesn't expect that she is like laying on a bed or something, soon after Clem finally falls asleep, keeping Y/n awake.

-

Woodley rise morning, Rustling and bustling was heard, Luke opened the shed and saw Y/n blinking a lot, hinting she was gonna drove off to sleep.Luke notice that Y/n was about to forcely lay down, he quickly sprint to her side to catch her. Luke seeing Y/n's sleeping face, making him observe her features very closely.

Luke's thoughts: (her lips are pinky shiny, her lashes healthy grown, her teeth pearly white, her-)

Rebecca: Luke!

Luke lost on his thoughts, looking right at Rebecca's direction.

Luke: c-coming, I'm just gonna lift her up. Pete would you mind get Clem- holy shit...

Pete: what is it kid?

Luke: her wound... I-It was been healed

Carlos gets out to the cabin and goes with Luke and Pete.

Carlos: let me see..

Carlos gasped from the unexpected sight he was seeing right now. He looked at the group and glanced at Clem's arm again and glanced at Y/n, a sleeping fox that was about to scoop up by Luke.

Carlos: Luke was right, her arm was healed off

Nick: what?! How that could be?!

Carlos: I'm not sure but for sure, y/n did something about it

The cabin group was now looking at the sleeping fox. Pete lifted Clem first before Luke finally lifted Y/n on his arm bc of her tail. They all got inside the cabin and scooted around to talk.

Carlos: Pete kindly bring Clem to Sarah's room, I'll take care of her and clarify it to Sarah.

Pete nodded and goest upstairs with a sleeping Clem on his arms.

Carlos: and you, Luke. Kindly please bring her to your room, let her rest for more and let her woke up on her own, do not disturb her for a while. She seems exhausted...

Luke blushes at the doctor's statement and quickly oblige.

Luke: got it

Luke starts to go upstairs towards his room. He enters and lays Y/n on his bed, softly brushing off a few strands of her hair off her face. With the curiosity by his side right now, he wanted to pat her head, and knows what does her tails and ears felt like if it's the same from a real animal. The man with a degree at art history, he choose not to give in to his curiousity. He left the room and letting her sleep peacefully.

-

Y/n slowly opened her eyes, noticing that she is not on the shed anymore. She jolted up analyze her surroundings.

Y/n's thoughts: (clearly I'm in a bedroom now and Clem is not here)

She smelled a familiar scent lingers around the room.

Y/n's thoughts: (this is Luke's room-)

She received a spark to her nerves, feeling her cheeks are burning and quite panicking.

Y/n's thoughts: (h-how did I memorize his scent so quick?- oh yeah, makes sense, he probably the one lifted me up and put me here on his bed-)

His bed

H-His bed

HIS BED

She couldn't shake the feeling off, realizing Luke do it. She is about to lose on her thought until she saw her short kimono is damp in dust, dirt, and grass.

Y/n: I hope Clem is okay now, better to change, it's rude to lay on someone's bed with a dirty clothes

She shut the blinds and start to slowly removing every clothes on her body, including her undergarments. Before she fully removed her bra, she heard the door creaked open, revealing Luke and said-

Luke: Hey foxy, are you up-

Luke frozes and saw Y/n... FULLY NAKED. They both look at each other's eyes and processing what's the situation, after they both realize what's happening, Y/n broke the silence and said-

Y/n: L-Luke don't stare...

She said while covering her body by her tails. Luke picked up what she said and quickly goes out and shut the door.

Luke: S-Sorry!

Luke sprinted downstairs, Y/n heard his footsteps and sigh, continuing what she is doing, rambling her satchel to take out a new fresh undergarments, a dark denim pants, grey tank top in a spaghetti strap (A.N: you can take Lara croft's outfit as a reference) putting on her low cut boots, casting a basic spell, she put out her old clothes on it and goes out on the room. She meets and is greeted by the cabin group and also Clem at the dining room. Pete stares at her and observes her new outfit.

Pete: much more better, kid

Y/n: thank you

Luke enters the room and sees Y/n on her outfit, he couldn't help but blushes and got awestruck and stares at her physique. The plumpness at the right parts was very very highlighting, he couldn't help to glance on her cleavage. He thought that she really is beautiful and especially, HOT.

Luke: you look so gorgeous...

Y/n: t-thank you, Luke. You look handsome as ever too

They are both blushing and staring at each other's eyes, admiring each for a moment, Carlos spotted them and approaches the two stating something for Y/n, that causes her to flustered up.

Carlos: you keep your word, back at the shed, you cooperate, even if we are mutually strangers and treated you poorly yet you are awfully nice

Y/n: I'll take that as a compliment, Doc

Carlos chuckled a little and proceed to his statement.

Carlos: well, starting from now on, you will be sleeping and sharing a room with Luke-

Luke was suddenly choked by his saliva from what he heard from the doctor. Y/n look at Luke and looked back at Carlos.

Y/n: f-fine by me

Carlos smiled softly and gives Y/n unintentional head pats. Y/n let him and she shyly loving it, wagging tails and twitchy twicch happy ears, making a soft purr. Luke watches the scene, with a hint of jealousy, Luke butted in

Luke: fox princess is my roommate

Y/n: you heard it right, if you wouldn't mind tho

Carlos catches up the soft pout and soft frowning of Luke's face, he decide to pull a trick at him.

Carlos: your room has a single bed, Luke. If you are not comfortable with it, I am fine taking Y/n here with me in the living room-

Luke: no. Uh I mean no, no it won't bother me, I wouldn't mind her company, Carlos

Carlos smirks, seeing Luke's expression with full of jealousy seems amusing to him. He surrendered and leaves the room. Luke starts to clears his throat.

Luke: I heard from clem that you seems hungry, if you wouldn't mind, would you like to join me for breakfast?

Y/n: I wouldn't mind

Y/n giving a sweet smile to the Casanova Luke making him feel his heart melt over. He couldn't help but returned the smile back at her, causing her to feel the same thing.

-

Luke serves her a bowl of noodles, they both sat at the table and enjoy their meal, munching and making small talks. After a moment, they both go hunting for a possible meal like rabbit, birds and etched, while Clem tags along with Pete and Nick.While the two walk for a couple of minutes, Y/n's ears perks up and stick her claws out, she is ready to lunch and *BAAM* she caught three rabbits, luckily fully ripped and big, she show it to Luke, he was out of words on how she got it so easily. They hunt and hunt until it hits evening, they decide to go back home to prepare dinner. They ate with the others, noticing Pete, Clem, and Nick is still not back, concerns lingers around the house.

Rebecca: where are they?...

Luke: me and Alvin will go tomorrow to look for them, I just hope that they are safe...

Rebecca nodded and finished their meals, heading to their respective rooms. Now, Luke and Y/n was under at circumstances who supposed to sleep at the bed. The bed size was enough for two people, with a sigh Y/n says the unbelievable.

Y/n: why not we just share it?

Luke: huh-

Y/n: I wouldn't mind that, we both deserve a comfy sleep right now, you have a search mission too, I promise

Luke: o-okay, sure that would be f-fine

Luke couldn't help but think that he will sleep with her. He brace himself and they both start to remove their shoes, and any other weapons nor items on theirs. They both lay down and ready to fall a sleep, Luke closes his eyes trying to drift off to sleep until he heard something clasp, he peep on his side, seeing her clasping something under her top, he hint that it must be her y'know. He turned around to the opposite side and said-

Luke: goodnight, Y/n

Y/n heard Luke and smiled softly while facing his broad back and said-

Y/n: goodnight too, Luke

Luke smiled and he fallen asleep with it, same with Y/n. They both sleep together peacefully for tonight, they both do not know that tomorrow morning will be a heck big breakfast skip.

TO BE CONTINED...

[wench-and-jezebel]

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows Reaction:

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

My… “friend.”  Sureeee, Watson

[Out of curiosity.  Do you know the name "Reichenbach"?]  It looks familiar ☠️ but idk what it is ☠️☠️☠️  [Aight]  👀 why tho lol  [I- Uh.  You'll see]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️ Ok lol

SHELOCKKK

This woman!  Hmph!  See, the women in their lives suck.  That’s why they should just be together  [I want to show you a thing btw]  Ok 🙂  [Here!  (below)... Bros.  Man's alleged love interest is literally.  Right there.  And the bros are staring at each other]  😂😂😂😂  I love ittttt

Buddy… the bald cap

[I know they’re whistling, but… Men will make kissy faces at each other]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  Why were they whistling?  ['Cause.  Just 'cause]  Ah ☠️☠️☠️

I’m ded  [No, I think they are (jk)]  ☠️☠️☠️ Very true.  But I meant the jump

Tut!

[Man's a bit of a dumbass laskjfd  How much clearer can you get than "don't move"]

A bomb!  Le gasp

I love her! (The actress not the character)  [I mean, the character's fun too]  She is! (Just them together is not… well 🙂 you know 😉 )

[Oop- man died anyway.  But took a lot fewer people with him, so.  That's good.]

Oh shit, she scurrrd

He’s such a good actorrrrr [I knowwww]

He kill her?  [I say nada]  Le gasp!

Well.  Now I feel bad

He done got stood up and widowed (kinda)

[Oh look, it's Watson and "our dog"]

Wait  ☠️☠️☠️☠️  They are at Baker Street?  [Holmes is.  Watson's moved out, I think]  It sounded like he was calling Mary tho [aslkdjf]

Buddy.  You’ve been shot

This man is insane

["I've barely noticed your absence"  Mmmhmm]  ☠️☠️☠️  [Buddy was lying in wait to surprise you, but of course he didn't notice a thing]

WATSON!  You Are Shot!  Have the actors forgotten?

[Oh, I lied.  Apparently he's getting married tomorrow]

“Embrace me.”  “EMBRACE ME”  I fucking will be using that the day we meet!

[I love lil string maps]

Le gasp!

["A shadowy game"  Title drop (ish)]

Buddy.  BUDDDY!

How is he still alive?  [I don't know... Formaldehyde will literally destroy your stomach]

["Our dog"]

The smileee

["WILL YOUR BEARD BE WITH US ALL NIGHT" CONTEXT?!?!?  WHAT'S CONTEXT?!?!?!]  ☠️☠️☠️

The glasses 😂😂

“Armageddon!”  Mood Holmes moood

Poor Sherlock  [Holmes still raging, raging, against the dying of their best bro bud bachelorship]

Is that Mycroft?  [idk, but I think so]  So do I.  Funny… Mycroft in Enola Holmes looks like Watson

Welp

He calls him Shirley tho… I love it  [:)  The temptation to make an Airplane reference]

“Not a ponce”  ["You know me" alksdjflkadsjfa That's all you need, Watson, don't you know?]

Watson. You are being too trusting with that ring that’s been lost how many times already?

[:((((((( Watson so mean]  Yes… He was very rude

[I like her :)  Noomi Rapace]  She looks like Mary… I was confused

Shawn/Sherlock same thing  [This is indeed an apt comparison]  They way he just did that was sooooo much like Psych

[Ouch]  Oooof

Well, shit, eggs sounding pretty good rn  [Ma'am.  This is a scene about beating a dude up… And you're more concerned with brekkie]  I mean— 😁

“She was biting my leg”

Poor Watson ☠️☠️☠️

Ah yes [alskdjf I know where you're going with that alskdjf]  Let us hold hands while we walk to my wedding ‘cause that’s what bros do

Awwwww

Poor Sherlock… again  [*simultaneously* Poor Sherlock ]

💔💔💔 “Watson… he gone”  [:( ]

AGAIN.  SIR!  SIRE!  THE TENSION!  and for why!?

Le gasp!  [Sir's gonna regret threatening his best bro bud]

“Poor Sherlock” times like 50000

I just… don’t like her ☠️☠️☠️  [I assume the her is Mary?]  It’s like she is only even here to be in the way  😩😩  [IT'S THEIR HONEYMOON]  Tsch tsch tsch :)

[Is that a gun or are you just happy to se-]  

☠️  [Okay, tbf, she was pretty damn cool there]  Yeah that’s true!

Um.  [:)]

Idk I guess I’m just overly understanding but I hate situations like this where hubby’s bf shows up and like there’s actually a good reason and the new wife is all OMG IM SO DISTRAUGHT THIS WAS OUR big day. And I get it a little but at the same time I don’t ☠️ same happens with wives of husbands with dangerous or demanding jobs being bitchy when he has to leave for work. It frustrates me.

😂😂😂

He threw her off the train.  HE THREW HER OFF THE TRAIN! and I get it was to save her but I’m ded

“Did you just kill my new wife?” Sounds a lot like this isn’t the first time  ☠️☠️☠️

Sirs

😂😂😂 So much is happening

Also.  The photo I just paused on.  (below)  I’m Ded.  DED!  DECEASED!!!  I REPEAT SIRS  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  I.  Am.  DED

Buddy.  There’s no need to be so in character in the bathroom.  Where no one can se— Ah I give up he’s insane

[Sir.  Sir.  Was that a stick-and-some-grenades or are you just happy to se-]  In👏🏼Sane👏🏼

[Sir.]  SIR.

THIS MAN AND HIS EXPLODING LIPSTICKS

WATSON HE ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT

Once more!

He looks like joker  [I KNOW]  Heath ledger one  [I gathered]

I was gonna say poor Sherlock, and then he sniffed the bloody rag, and ack!  And then… He Ed tossed it off the boat!  So ok, poor Sherlock!  [asdfklajsflkjf  Also he looked at Watson first.  He gave up the memory of his love interest while staring at Watson]  😭😭😭😭

Oh no not “violated”  [alskdjf]  They did enough of that on the train  [ALSKDJF]

The laugh!  I’m dead

[Bickering bros.  Married vibes]  Lovers  Jusssssst bros

Funny side story my dad got robbed by gypsies one time  [aslkdfj well damn]  Him and his cousin. The women seduced em, got em drunk, and robbed em blind 😂😂 ☠️☠️

Speak of the gypsy… I’m ded

Wot is this fucking movie?  Nope, that's it: it’s a bloodline thing… They are all insane

This screen is cutting it mighty close

I like this Mycroft! He a lot less assholish!  [This is true.  Just a little more... nekked  (I assume)]  Scratch that he’s just— well yes lol  But he’s way better.  Only good thing the other one does is allow Sherlock to be Enola’s caregiver

Well damn

Ahh more ofmd vibes with the hidden passage  [How dare you]  Wot 👀☠️  [Bring up the pain of that show]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️  [Twice]  😁😁 Not my fault  [Mmmhmm]  I say what I see

Le gasp  He’s been had

Oooooof ‘Splosion

[I love her hair]  YESSSS  

Well… is she takes Irene’s place they will just be dating different fonts of the same person  [aslkdfjalksdjf  I mean.  you're not wrong]

[Um.  Um.  Sherlock gave up his handkerchief (sign of past love interest) while looking at Watson; Watson gave up his scarf (sign of current wife) while looking at Holmes]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Poor Sherlock

😂😂😂

Wait Wot.  Sir.  “Why would I want something I couldn’t control bobbing around between my legs”  SIR

ALSO THIS MAN IS ON A FUCKING PONY IM DYING  [Please don't; 'twould be a shame]  😂😂😂

This man and kicking in doors

Oooooop he’s been got

Buddy.  Why.  Would.  You.  Drink.  It.  Then again his body is probably just immune by now

Ack.  ACKKKKK.  ACKKKKK

[Now you'll understand why this song playing on my dryer is so fecking creepy]  Slasher flick ptsd  [alsdkfj]  Yes! Cause he is fucking creepy

Ooooo that got Watson up  [*simultaneously*  Also, the thing that motivates Watson most is the screams over the intercom, just to point out]  🙂  [aslkfdj]

["To whom"  Love you for that Moriarty]  Lol!  [Sorry, but the grammar obsessed me is happy by that]

Ooooooooop

[btw, this whole scene between Sherlock and Watson... I think it has Vibes.  It's been a bit, but I'm pretty sure]  Well damn.  [Yup, I was right]  🥺🥺🥺💕  ["Always good to see you Watson" and the hand on his arm and the-]

“You didn’t find me; you collapsed a building on me”

Oh shiiiit that’s scurry lol

😦  [:(]  Well damn

Oooop- He ded

Watson, he needs a kiss

Oh, wait… He’s got that thing!  The thing he used on the dog!  [It's called an adrenaline shot, dear lakdsjf]  Ack  [It's also called his wedding gift]

The fucking run

Ouch

Oh god they are gonna be fun to write  [I've come to the conclusion I have to do something too]

[*Sherlock mutters*  Watson: "Be nice"  Sherlock (essentially): "Fineeee"]

Wot the fuck is that house

☠️☠️☠️ No pressure

Nooooooo.  NOOOOOOOOO!!!???!  [:)]  I’m dying

Why.  Are they dancing.  Still?  [To be.  Subtle]  Of course

Yes, yes… So very subtle

[They're so.  This.  Bruhhhh]  Oh it’s not their first dance

Well he ded  [Poor Simza]

I’m ded… His disguises  [:)  One of my favorite bits from the original stories]

[Y'all gonna kiss?]  ☠️☠️☠️  They might  [I joke but also I don't]

☠️☠️  [Lestradeeeee]  🙂

[This is important.  This is why I asked if you knew what Reichenbach means.  It's a place, but it's significant for a reason]

Oh shit  [Yup!  He took over the monologue!  And did bad things with it!]  Oh shiiiit  The end

Bruh.  BRUH.  BROS  [He kept his eyes shut.  The last thing he saw... was Watson]  I KNOW.  I KNOW.  I FUCKING KNOW

ACK

🙂  I was about to kill you.  Just so you know.  [I figured]

– – – 

Wench: So, before your endpoint, I need to express just how much this story fucked me up.  I was a kid and we had a picture book.  "The Final Problem" it was called, and it was the story of Holmes and Moriarty and the Reichenbach Falls.  This was the cover.  (below)

Jezebel: Well damn!!

Wench: And when I tell you.  That that fucking book.  Made me cry.  (Makes me cry, if the time is right.)  Every.  Fucking.  Time.

Jezebel: Ack! Imma need them to get serious about the third movie now

Wench: That line?  About "in that dreadful caldron of swirling water and seething foam will lie for all time the most dangerous criminal and the foremost champion of the law of their generation."  is a paraphrase of one of the lines from that book.  And it is a rare day that I read it and don't struggle

Jezebel: ☹️☹️☹️☹️

Wench: Anyway... endpoint to you!

Jezebel: How feeeeeeeeeeeeeee- no. How fuuuuuuuuuucking dare you lead me into that ending blind you Wench

Wench: Because it deserved to not be spoiled.  My favorite part of the movie right there

Jezebel: Of all the dastardly, deceiving, horrrible things!  So evil!  So evil.  So *opens new Google Doc* evil  😭😭😭😭😭

Wench: We're gonna go back in our convo and find out that I did warn you and we just forgot… Devour, take two

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️

Wench: You cannot tell me that scene wasn't golden though.  And the look?  The Look?!?!?!  THE LOOK.

Jezebel: It was.  He 😭😭 he smiled and just cartwheeeled off like yep all is good now I got one last look. 

Wench: Can you see why he's (this specific version of the character) on my fave list?

Jezebel: YES!  😭😭😭😭😭😭 Ahhhh I love RDJ omg

Wench: I meant the self-sacrificial bit but go off ig  ME TOO

Jezebel: Of course he is ma’am 😂😂 that’s just your type

Wench: I've been attacked.  It's true, but still

Jezebel: I'm not ok  😭😭😭😭😭  Even though I suspected he wasn’t dead… Mainly because there is a third movie in the works… I still am not ok.  I was like: Welp. This has been a good friendship. But I’m bout to head out now..

Wench: RUDE

Jezebel: Bruh by the time they finally make the third movie, there will be a third Enola Holmes and I’m pretty sure they said Watson will be introduced

Wench: Ooop-

Jezebel: I’ll have pre bros and post bros and I may just die.  Ngl I already have a doc like very VERY rough drafted for Enola Holmes Sherlock but I wanted to see the RDJ movies first ☠️ to get a better feel of how they act

Wench: I love it :)))  You got any other endpoint comments?

Jezebel: Yes!  Mary flipped her bitchiness in the end and I’m here for it

Wench: This is true!

Jezebel: And I love Mycroft!  But I can’t reallly think of much more endpoint ☠️☠️☠️ movies are hard ☠️ to end point I mean.  ‘Cause I feel like I explained enough through it, yanno?

Wench: Yeah, that’s fair.  Do you see what I mean about Die Forelle being creepy af now tho?

Jezebel: YES  Also, I’m hurt and now have to sleep on that, you Wench

Wench: Think of it this way... it's the ideal domain for fics… Angsty out the freaking wazoo

Jezebel: I KNOWWWW!  but you don’t have to pretend there’s a happy ending… You just expand it

Wench: The thing is.  The Thing.  Is.  Angst.  And Hurt/Comfort.  Have apparently become my ideal genres.  So… I need to come up with something to write  (PROMPTS ARE ACCEPTED at @scripted-downfall --- within the constraints of sooooo much work 😭) 

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Yesss

Wench: But that's for a later time.  Ready to call it a night?

Jezebel: Yes!

Wench: Oh, what’s our next react?

Jezebel: The Musketeers, right?

Wench: laksjdf;lksajdf I was giving you the choice to pick something else.  Or say no

Jezebel: 😌😌Wench: Hell yeahhhhhhh!  Alright, then... 'Til tomorrow, for The Musketeers!

[jeanbeaux]

ANYONE CAN BE A CHEF

jean kirstein x f!reader

w/c: 1.6k

warnings: tooth rooting fluff, vomit mention, taco bell slander.

a/n: this is apart of @mindninjax’s domestic day dream collab! thank you so much for letting me participate, i am sorry this is so horrendously late. check out the rest of the amazing fics here! bonus points if you catch the cage the elephant reference. yes the title is a psuedo ratatouille reference. thank you to @mitsuyasmistress for beta-ing love <3.

The harsh morning rays of sunlight diffuse through the gossamer curtains of the master bedroom, but the warmth hitting his face still manages to pull Jean out of his slumber. He rubs his bleary eyes with a yawn to see that you’re still passed out next to him, chuckling as he sees your face scrunch in displeasure when you too feel the effects of the sun. He presses a soft kiss to your temple before rising out of the sage green sheets, heading over to the bathroom to start his day. You’re still snoring softly by the time he’s done, so he pads across the hardwood floors on a mission to make breakfast for you both.

The kitchen has been Jean’s haven for as long as he can remember. He’d often toddle around the island with toy airplanes in hand as he followed the aroma of the spices in the stew his mother had simmering, earning a shriek from her when she would catch him reaching up to play around with the dials on the stove. In an attempt to quell the danger of her son’s newfound interest, she placed a wooden stool at the edge of the countertop, so that his little four-year-old body could rise above the top of the marble to see her roll out puff pastry. 

She began to rue that decision every time he would lean over and make grabby hands for the chocolate sticks she had reserved for the pain au chocolat, but as she watched how he would point at the oven and babble in delight as the flaky pastry began to rise, she figured being a little short of the filling was worth it. And as soon as he was tall enough to see the top of the island without assistance, she bought him a chef's hat, making him her official sous chef on Sunday mornings as they baked the treats from her home country.

The weekend bonding activity with his mother turned into something more when they started to bring their confectionaries to the PTA bake sale. No one could believe that sweetie little Jean on Trost Street was the creator of such delectable madeleines, ones that simply melted on the tongue the minute you took a bite. 

He swears he’s never felt his heart swell as it did at that moment, watching as more people kept milling towards their stall, his eyes shining as they would gasp in delight after taking a bite of the buttery shell-shaped cookies, praising how good of a job he did with them. Even snot-nosed Eren was bugging his mom to buy more. It was here that Jean realized that his cooking was something that could be enjoyed beyond the walls of his own home, and sensing the way his mother was looking down at him with pride at how far he’s come, cooking went from a weekend hobby to his passion on that fateful fall day.

Thus, the hours he spent in the kitchen grew, making everything from croissants to coq au vin, and by the time he was 18, he had mastered the art of French cooking. His talents had earned him a seat at the Marley Institute of Culinary Arts, where he sharpened his skills and expanded palette beyond his heritage.

But after he graduated, he found himself dedicating the small cream building he had purchased to be a house of French cuisine, all as an ode to the woman who had made his dream possible. 

Like everything Jean set his mind to, Chez Paradis soon became a success. Every day came with a new challenge — more refined palettes to feed, a drive for new innovative dishes. The added pressure was adding a few knots in his back, but those would finally come loose the day you would sit at one of his white-clothed tables.

You were one of Sasha’s work friends, brought in as a guest on a night of a soft re-opening. The one upside of the woman being capable of eating anything was that she would eat everything, making her the ideal candidate for a new menu tester. You had given him a soft scarlet smile when he introduced himself during the dinner course of the night, and Jean couldn’t help but think about how pretty you looked in that crushed velvet dress under the soft lights. 

His palms were sweating as he placed the ceramic plates in front of you, blushing like a schoolgirl as you thanked him for the meal. Jean watched through the kitchen windows as you cut open the goat cheese zucchini quiche, letting go of a breath he didn’t even know he was holding as he watched you process that first bite with a pleasant surprise.  He has faced career-ending critics with more calm, and yet the sense of relief he got seeing your eyes widen as the tang of the cheese dances across your tongue is incomparable.

Sasha drags you to the back once the affair is done, bounding over to the blonde curled sous chef she knew was a little sweet on her to see if they had any seconds, giving you the time to give your regards to the head chef. 

“Was this the best French food you’ve ever had?” Jean joked. 

“It was! It holds a pretty special place in my heart considering it was the first French food I’ve ever had.” 

Jean threw a hand over his heart in mock horror, earning a giggle from you before questioning you further. Turns out the only exposure you had to French food was through the screen — confessing you had only seen the cuisine through Ratatouille which threw another dagger in Jean’s heart, and then he’s insisting you come again, this time a private dinner where he can show you some of his favorite meals.

And then it turns into another and another till Jean finally asks you out — and then the venue of these dinners changes to your apartments. Jean eventually stops cooking by himself, now bringing over brown paper bags full of groceries and a recipe for you two to try. 

It becomes a routine date for you two, laughing in the kitchen as old 2000’s music cranks from the speaker you have set up, Jean wrapping you in a hug despite your protests about his flour-covered hands, forcing you to dance with him as the pie you’ve put in the oven rises.

There’s a magic to those moments that never changes as your relationship grows, even after Jean came by with nothing in that paper bag except a velvet box. 

Because cooking with you is easy, Jean knows you’ll still hold love for him in your eyes even if he serves you Kraft Mac and Cheese. You make him want to venture out and try new things, new spice combinations or preparation techniques — and even if they flop, Jean finds comfort in the cute little scrunch of your nose, motivated to keep pushing further instead of beating himself upon failure.

But lately, you’ve been hard to impress, and Jean finds himself hitting a wall.

Those nose scrunches are accompanied with retching, sometimes even the smell is enough to turn you away from what’s in the kitchen. And what’s worse — you've been sneaking outside for fast food of all things — mouth dropping in shock as he catches you red-handed with Taco Bell after you turned down the enchiladas he had made for you. 

Now, he stands before the stovetop once more in an attempt to impress your changing palate, cracking the egg over the mixing bowl with one hand. 

He hears you walk into the kitchen over the sizzle of the butter, wrapping your arms around his middle as you snuggle against his broad back. The “good morning” you give him is murmured against his skin, pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades before you walk over to hop on the counter and watch him cook.

Jean is pretty when he concentrates, strong hazel brow knit as he pours the egg, picking up a fork to swirl the mixture rapidly in the skillet. His biceps flex as he tilts the pan towards him, elegantly rolling the egg on top of itself into a cigar shape before setting it down on the plate next to him. 

Jean kisses your forehead, finally returning your greeting before handing the plate off to you. His hands come up to his face as he watches you push the dish around with a fork, steam lightly rising from the egg when you finally cut in.

It’s a simple French omelet, just salt, butter, and eggs. The process makes the meal more than the ingredients do, and Jean figures it’s best to go simple with how you haven’t been able to handle anything as of late. 

The anticipation peaks as he watches you take a bite, and he’s praying that you enjoy one of his childhood favorites as much as he does. Jean’s waiting for the wrinkle of your nose, but it never comes.

Instead, for the first time in forever, he’s met with a smile, you lifting your fork up with glee before taking another bite.

“That good, huh?” Jean grins, leaning in closer to you. 

“Mmmhmm.” You swallow before lacing your free hand with his, placing his palm over your stomach.

“The baby is a big fan of this one too.”

thank you for reading! <3 please do not recommend this on tiktok or repost this work.

© all rights reserved JEANBEAUX 2021. please do not copy, modify or repost my work.

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[piratewithvigor]

My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station

ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band

Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along

Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady

Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof

Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY

Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to

Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name

Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares

Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy

Asia: Tuesdays

Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist

Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny

Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company

Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith

Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD

Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy

Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different

Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically

Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL

Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you

Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS

Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life

Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural

Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about

Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty

Bush: ditto

Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?

Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic

Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with

Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that

Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”

Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better

Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right

Collective Soul: who?

Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not

Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*

CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*

CSNY: David Crosby; meh

Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER

Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one

Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up

Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest

Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio

Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor

Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close

Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth

Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none

Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia

Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison

ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule

Essex, David: no prominent memories of him

Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell

Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?

Faith No More: I got nothing

Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop

Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential

Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself

Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip

Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill

Ford, Lita: deserved better

Foreigner: dramatically overplayed

Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box

Free: dramatically underplayed

Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot

Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter

Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass

Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does

Grand Funk Railroad: Funk

Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music

Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes

Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason

Green Day: the first of the emo revolution

Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen

Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that

Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?

Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 

Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names

Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!

Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references

Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration

Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time

Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself

INXS: Terminator vibes

Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison

James Gang: too many funks

Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative

Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*

Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*

Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute

Jett, Joan: icon

J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played

Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that

John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name

John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me

Joplin, Janis: Queen

Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire

Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic

Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole

Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically

Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject

Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes

Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)

Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons

Live: I got nothin

Living Colour: slap a decent amount

Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??

Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track

Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion

Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD

McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple

Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf

Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987

Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon

Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot

Modern English: who?

Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes

Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT

Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it

Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie

Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’

Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one

Nicks, Stevie: witch queen

Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill

Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed

Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least

Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*

Offspring: nothing here

Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy

Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard

Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money

Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*

Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good

Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?

Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled

Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’

Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say

Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig

Queensryche: neutral opinion

Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that

Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music

Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent

Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it

Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it

RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)

Red Rider: basically Golden Earring

Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull

REM: American Tragically Hip

REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title

Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie

Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit

Santana: The world needs more Santana

Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend

Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say

Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)

Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you

Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us

Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater

Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it

Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know

Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having

Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison

Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan

Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions

Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard

Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015

Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable

Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself

Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them

Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 

Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt

Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to

Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’

Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth

Ten Years After: somehow still relevant

Tesla: not the car or the dude

The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them

The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her

The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul

The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names

The Kinks: kinky

The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile

The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours

The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have

The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it

The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s

Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?

Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern

Toto: the most memed song behind All Star

Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds

T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon

Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush

Tubes: like the yogurt

Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it

U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways

Van Halen: RIP Eddie

Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?

Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn

Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get

War: Foghat, but even groovier

Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis

Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene

Yes: To Be Continued

Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY

Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand

ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 

3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever

38 Special: Why 38?

[pterodactylterrace]

Guys Like You Chapter 17

Title: Guys Like You

Chapter: 17

Chapter Summary: We'll get through this, I promise.

Rating: 18+

Warnings: I'm almost 100% sure this is legally inaccurate. It's a work of fiction, though so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Also, vomiting and mentions of anxiety/poor mental state. Mentions of prior abuse.

{Prologue} {Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3} {Chapter 4} {Chapter 5} {Chapter 6} {Chapter 7} {Chapter 8} {Chapter 9} {Chapter 10} {Chapter 11} {Chapter 12} {Chapter 13} {Chapter 14} {Chapter 15} {Chapter 16}

Lawyers, attorneys, case building, legal proceedings and court dates all swam around Faye's head to the point she was dizzy. Henry had taken immediate action and gotten in touch with his legal team right away, ultimately being referred to someone more specialized in custody cases who agreed to work with Faye's sister on the case. He as not about to let that slime ball come back after years and take their baby from them.

First, they had to file for Faye to be the sole parent and guardian of Briar, sighting the years long abandonment for terminating any rights he may have had. Then, they had to gather up everything they could proving he was an unfit father, picking at old wounds that Faye would rather be left alone. All she'd had to do was get in contact with her sister and within minutes she had over a dozen pictures of just as many occasions with Faye battered and bruised, or with her fingers in casts, or her lip split. Faye hadn't even known her sister had been taking them, but she had also blocked out a lot of that time of her life. Her sister had always been the more responsible level headed one anyway. She'd probably taken them just in case something like this ever happened.

Her sister had also filed for a restraining order against him on her behalf. She knew what kind of person he was and having a legal order of protection against him was a solid idea. It prevented him from intimidating Faye or trying to just take Briar.

Overall, they were assured by almost everyone that he stood no chance. He had walked out of her life before she was even born and never tried to be in contact since. No judge in their right mind would listen to a word he had to say.

That did very little to settle Faye's anxiety. Over the next few weeks Henry would often find her crying silently, her mind a million miles away dwelling on the what ifs. Briar had moved to sleeping in their bed the same night they had gotten the letter, more for Faye's sake than anything else. Having her daughter close was one of the few things that calmed her down anymore. Henry had tried everything he could think of to take her mind off of what was happening, but with little success. All it would take is one look at Briar and Faye would start tearing up again.

Faye had gotten so bad she would barely eat. She would only pick at her food, nibbling on a few bites here and there. Henry could tell she was losing weight, but he was unable to convince her to actually eat more. She just kept telling him she felt sick all the time. A few times she had even worked herself up into such an anxious mess that she was physically sick. Henry had yet to meet her ex, but he knew he hated him more than he had ever hated anyone in his life. Whoever that slime ball was, he had severely crossed the line. The woman he loved was a wreck because of him, something had to be done.

Henry took it upon himself to pack everyone for the trip to the states, not wanting to add anymore stress to Faye if he didn't have to. Briar had been given Dramamine before the flight and again almost halfway through to keep her from getting sick. Faye's chronically empty stomach faired far worse. She was in and out of the small airplane bathroom, Henry dutifully following each time as she brought up bile or nothing at all, her stomach desperate to rid itself of contents it didn't even have. She even threw up the Dramamine he'd gotten her to take. It was times like this he was eternally grateful he was able to fly privately. The entire flight would have been a nightmare if they had to deal with other passengers at the same time.

He had booked the biggest suite he could within a reasonable distance of the court house where hearings were meant to be held. They wanted to have some privacy before everything happened, though they were planning on staying with Faye's parents afterwards until they went back home. Faye wanted to be impressed and thankful for everything he was doing for her and her daughter, once again, but she didn't have the energy to do much more than squeeze him tight, resting her weary head against his strong chest.

"It'll be alright, darling. No one is going to take our princess away." Henry assured, tilting her head up to kiss her gently.

"It's just dredging up so many bad memories." Faye admitted shakily, wiping her eyes before more tears could fall. Between throwing up and crying she was sure she was dehydrated, her head pounding in synch with her heart to prove it.

"I know, but they're in the past now."

"But they're not." Faye hiccupped, hiding her face in his chest again. "All of this is happening right now."

"This is the last time he is going to have any contact with either of you. Go and take a long shower, darling. Try to relax. You need your sleep."

"I know I look awful." Faye sighed, reluctantly stepping away from him.

"Just as beautiful as ever." Henry corrected, digging through the bags to find Faye's shower bag and something for her to change into. While she was in the bathroom, Henry convinced the half asleep toddler to get ready for bed, handing her a pair of zip up pajamas along with her diaper, reminding her to go potty before he would zip her up.

The child was tucked into the middle of one of the beds, hugging her stuffed bunny tightly and falling asleep almost instantly. Henry went to check on Faye once he was sure she was asleep, smiling softly when he saw her stepping out of the shower.

"Feeling any better?"

"Not really." Faye sighed, letting Henry take the towel from her and dry her off.

"It will be over soon, I promise." Henry assured, pulling one of the shirts she had stolen from him over her head.

"Not soon enough."

~*~

"She ran out as soon as she found out she was pregnant. I tried to track her down for years, but I never could find her. That's the only reason I haven't been in my daughter's life. I could never find an address for either of them. She just vanished."

Faye felt her skin crawl at his words, physically shrinking away from him the moment he laid eyes on her. Everything just came flooding back, and suddenly she was right where she was years ago, having to put up with his lies and manipulations. She could feel more bile threatening to creep up her throat every time she looked at him.

"As you can see, the defendant never filed for sole custody of the child until very recently. It is our belief that she is using the child against my client for some perceived wrongs. She has even fled the country to make sure that my client has no access to the child."

"Alright. Miss Warren?" The judge shifted his attention to the other side of the room. "Is the plaintiff the biological father of the child?"

"Yes." Faye answered softly.

"And did you try to reach out to him after the birth of the child?"

"No, I did not. He left the second he found out I was pregnant. He avoided my attempts to contact him up until I gave birth. He made it pretty clear he wanted nothing to do with us."

"And did you in fact leave the country with the child in an effort to avoid contact with the plaintiff?"

"No. I left because I had a job offer in another country. My daughter came with me, because she is my daughter."

"Your honor, if I may?" Delilah stepped in, squeezing her sister's hand supportively.

"Go ahead Miss... Warren."

"As you can see from the documents I have provided, my client has only moved three times in the last five years. The first was into an apartment in the same town she resided in with the plaintiff before their split. She held a lease in that same apartment until a year and a half ago when she moved to England. She only recently moved from there into a home that she shares with her current boyfriend. For the plaintiff to be unable to locate my client, he would have had put little to no effort into actually looking for her."

"Does Mr. Young have any evidence of him attempting to locate the defendant? What efforts did he make?"

"My client did the searching by himself, there is no paper trail of his efforts."

"So you cannot provide any evidence of his attempts to locate the defendant or the child in question?"

"No your honor."

"Now, Miss Warren... the lawyer, do you have a statement to make?"

"Yes, your honor. As you can see from the documents I have provided you with, my client suffered abuse at the hands of the plaintiff for years. There are not only pictures of the injuries, but also documentation from several emergency room visits due to 'blunt force trauma' along with multiple domestic violence reports against the plaintiff. The plaintiff left shortly after my client revealed her pregnancy and no attempts to contact my client or the child in question are able to be confirmed. Tell me, Mr. Young. If you were so invested in your unborn child, what was the child's expected due date? On what day did my client suffer a miscarriage of one of the children she was carrying? What do you even know about the child you want in your life so badly now?"

"I don't know anything, that bit- the defendant kept her from me."

"Kept her from you, or you didn't try to make any contact?"

"I tried to make contact!"

"Enough, Mr. Young." The judge sighed, leaning back to look at the papers in front of him. "Tell me Miss Warren, what does the child in question know about the plaintiff?"

"Nothing." Faye replied softly. "She didn't have a father in her life."

"Would it be alright if we spoke to the child?" The judge asked, looking over to where Briar sat in the back of the room, playing with her stuffed bunny under Henry's watchful eye.

"Briar?" Faye called, the child popping up and running over to her mother. "Would you be ok talking to everyone?"

"Ok, Mama!" Briar eagerly accepted, scurrying over to the chair she had seen everyone else take a turn sitting in.

"Hello Briar." The judge greeted, smiling warmly at the child.

"Hi." Briar giggled, squeezing her bunny to her chest.

"I like your bunny. He is very well behaved."

"We be good." Briar confirmed, nodding her head surely.

"Now, Briar, can you tell me about your family?"

"Yeah! I have my mama and that my aunt Lilah! I see Nana and Grampy on the phone too! Oh! And I met Papa family too! We play in the big yard, then we all went to sleep in the couch room and they were all giggling, but I was good!"

"You met your Papa's family?" The judge asked, his brow furrowing.

"I like Papa family." Briar giggled.

"Mr. Young, has the child had contact with your family?" The judge asked.

"Yes, she has recently met my family."

"Mama?"

"Hold on sweetie, Mommy needs to talk to Aunt Delilah." Faye rushed out, turning her terrified eyes to her sister. "What is he doing? Briar has never met his family. I've never met his family!"

"I thought he just congealed in a gutter somewhere. What is Briar talking about? Who's family did she meet?" Delilah whispered back.

"Henry's. She calls him Papa, we met them just a few weeks ago."

"That's kind of adorable, we will circle back to that after we deal with this douchebag. Can you prove she's never met dingus's family?"

"We've only been back in the States for two days. I don't even know where his family lives. Like I said, I never even met them!"

"That's something. Where's her passport?" Delilah mumbled to herself, shifting through the various papers in front of her.

"Papa? Papa, I gotta go!" Briar whimpered, squirming in her seat.

"I'll take you since Miss Warren is too busy." David quickly offered, popping up and reaching for the child before anyone else had a chance to react.

"No!" Briar screamed, kicking and wiggling when he picked her up. "No! Not Papa! Not Papa! Help! Mama!"

"Hey, it's me. It's Papa!" David tried, attempting to wrangle the thrashing child.

"NOT PAPA! WANT HENRY PAPA!" Briar screeched, hitting him in the face with her stuffed bunny.

"David, put her down! You're scaring her!" Faye yelled, anxious tears welling in her eyes. She wasn't sure if it was her heart in her throat, or if the water she'd been sipping on was trying to make a reappearance. The sight of him touching her daughter was enough to make her sick.

"Mr. Young!" The Judge barked, finally succeeding in getting him to release the struggling child. Briar dashed to the back of the room, throwing her arms around Henry's legs, frantically trying to climb him as she cried.

"Hey, it's ok Princess." Henry soothed, lifting her up and holding her tight. "Can you go and sit by Mama after you go potty?"

"NO!" Briar squealed again. "Papa stay! Bad man! Mama!" Briar blubbered almost incoherently, squeezing her bunny tight as she gasped between sobs.

"Ok, ok. I'll be right here. I'll make sure the mean man doesn't touch you or Mummy again, I promise." Henry assured, grimacing when he felt a warm wetness soaking through his shirt. "Princess? Did you have an accident?" Henry asked her quietly, glaring daggers at the other man when she shakily nodded her head.

"He... he scare me."

"I know, it's alright. We'll get you cleaned up, ok?"

"Your honor, may I ask the child a question?" Delilah ventured, standing up and placing her hand on Briar's back to get her attention. "Briar, who is your Papa?"

"Papa." Briar sniveled, hiding her snotty, tear stained face in Henry's neck.

"Your honor, as you can see from the copy of the child's passport, she has only been back in the United States for just over two days. She has never met the plaintiff's parents in her life. She is clearly terrified of him, too. Can we please stop all this nonsense?"

"I've heard all I need to." The Judge decided, turning to look at David. "Mr. Young, you have lied to me several times and provided me no substantial evidence regarding any of your claims. The child does not feel safe with you, and for good reason considering the numerous cases of domestic violence against you. Your parental rights are hereby terminated, and the defendant's request for an order of protection is granted, effective immediately."

"You can't be serious!" He growled, turning his furious eyes to the judge.

"I am very serious, Mr. Young. Even if you did genuinely want to be in the child's life, your previous convictions against the defendant prove you to be unfit to care for her." The Judge continued.

"She's ok." Faye breathed shakily, finally forcing herself to stand on shaky legs, Henry instantly wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her.

"I told you everything would be ok." Henry whispered, kissing her forehead softly. "No one is taking our princess away."

"I sorry Mama. I had accident." Briar sniffled.

"It's ok baby. Did you pee on the mean man?"

"Uh-hu. He scary." Briar mumbled. "No sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to him." Henry assured. "How about we go back to the hotel and get you a bath? We can go out for ice cream after."

"Please." Briar whimpered, continuing to hide in Henry's neck.

"No need to be upset. You're not in any trouble." Faye soothed.

"How about you? How are you doing?" Henry asked Faye, gently leading her out the door.

"Better? I don't know. I'm happy but still so anxious." Faye admitted.

"After all of this I don't blame you, but it's over now, darling. It's all over."

Faye and Briar ended up sharing a long bath when they got back to the hotel, giving Henry time to use the exercise room to relieve some of his own tensions. He had no idea what he would have done if they had been ordered to share custody. He hadn't known the little girl for very long, but she was still his world. He was willing to give up anything if it meant keeping his family together.

When he had gotten back to the hotel room, both of his girls were dressed, Briar happily attempting to dry her mother's hair while she sat on the floor, calling out directions to the little girl. She handed the dryer off to her mother as soon as she saw Henry, happily throwing her arms around his legs.

"You back!"

"Yes, sweetheart, I'm back." Henry chuckled, picking her up and kissing her forehead. "You have to try harder than that to get rid of me."

"Ewww! Papa you smelly!" Briar whined, covering her nose with both hands.

"The audacity!" Henry gasped, hugging her even tighter, laughing when she groaned in protest. "I in no way smell like a sweaty gym sock."

"You icky, Papa!" Briar repeated, pushing his face away with one hand, the other covering her nose. "You take a bath. I get you toys!" She decided, wiggling to be let down. Both adults nodded along as Briar monologued her choices in what Henry should take with him, tossing each one into the tub. She had decided upon a rubber duck, a wash cloth, a Captain America action figure, a horse figurine, the hotel mouthwash and carefully placed his razor on the side of the tub, sternly reminding him not to cut his hair again.

"Ok, princess. Promise I won't cut my hair again." Henry agreed for what had to be the hundredth time since he'd had to cut his hair for work months ago.

"Briar, how about we go finish getting ready, and then when Papa's done, we can all go see Nana and Grampy?" Faye offered, wincing at the decibel of the scream that erupted from the little girl's chest.

"NANA! GRAMPY!" She cheered, racing past her mother, digging through her bag to look for her shoes.

"You might want to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep her here." Faye chuckled, her brows crinkling when she saw the look on Henry's face. "What? You said you were ok with meeting my parents..."

"No, it's not that. That's the first time I've seen you laugh in weeks." Henry pointed out, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I'm trying to do better. Sorry I've been miserable to be around."

"Don't apologize for how you feel. Anyone would be upset if they had to go through that. I want you happy again, but I don't want you to force it. I want you to be really happy."

"Well, you can make me happier if you showered. The man stink is overwhelming." Faye teased, Henry rolling his eyes at her. "I see how it is, right back to teaming up on me. Just so you know, Kal is usually on my side."

"Guess we'll have to have a tiebreaker then." Faye shrugged, smirking as she left him alone in the bathroom with a shocked smile on his face.

When they finally arrived at Faye's parents home, Briar was about to burst from her seat in excitement. Faye barely got her out of the car before she was scurrying up the front steps, frantically ringing the doorbell. Faye followed behind her daughter, relaxing even more once she was in the familiar surroundings.

Delilah was the one to answer the door, her hair still up in it's sleek, professional updo, though she had changed into more comfortable clothes once she had gotten back to her parent's house. Briar audibly groaned when she saw her aunt for the second time that day.  "Aunt Lilah! Where Nana?"

"She's in the kitchen, waiting on you." Delilah laughed, moving out of the child's way and wrapping her sister in a hug. "Told you we'd get through this."

"My sister, always there to save my ass."

"And you thought law school was a stupid idea."

"You said the same thing about art school, and look what it got me." Faye teased, nodding at Henry as he made his way up the stairs.

"Ok, you got me there. No one in my law firm looks anything like that. All the ones that ask me out for drinks are fat, bald and married."

"Is that where your standards are now?"

"Basically." Delilah laughed, ushering the two inside.

"Faye!" A short older woman cheered, bustling in from the back of the house with Briar on her hip.

"Hi Mom!" Faye greeted, pulling away from Henry to hug her mother. "Mom, I'd like you to meet my partner, Henry."

"Partner?" Her mother questioned, giving her daughter a strange look.

"It just sounds better than 'boyfriend'. More sophisticated."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Warren." Henry cut in, offering his hand to her only to be pulled into a surprisingly tight bear hug.

"Now, now! We hug around here!"

"Papa give good hugs!" Briar giggled.

"Yes, he does." The older woman agreed, patting his shoulder before venturing back into the house.

"Dad is around here somewhere. Probably break-fixing something." Faye mumbled, taking a quick glance around in an attempt to discern where he was.

"Just follow the sound of objects crying, you'll find him." Delilah laughed. "I think he said something about fixing the ceiling fan in the gremlin's room."

"Which one are you staying in?" Faye asked.

"I'll bite the bullet and sleep in the gremlin room. Not very often you have the chance to score in your childhood bedroom." Delilah teased, Henry shifting his gaze uncomfortably anywhere else.

"Like that isn't what happened when we visited your parents." Faye scoffed, grabbing his hand to lead him down the hallway.

"That's different." Henry mumbled, hefting their bags up as she pulled him away.

"How?"

"They're my family. There's not much I could do by now that one of us hasn't done before."

"Relax, I'm pretty sure my sister knows we've had sex by now. I would know, I told her."

"Only good things I assume?"

"Well the conversation started with me telling her she gave me the wrong size condoms when I moved away."

"Wonderful." Henry sighed, fighting back a laugh when he was led into a room with two twin beds against opposing walls.

"If you want I can help you push those together." A voice from behind offered. "Hi, I'm the dad."

"Hello, sir. I'm Henry." He greeted, setting the bags down and offering his hand, the other man gripping it firmly and resting his other hand on his elbow, giving a curt nod.

Faye's father wasted no time in sequestering Henry off into a different bedroom to hold up the ceiling fan while he worked on it. Henry wasn't sure what he was doing, and he had a feeling he didn't know what he was doing himself. He was either trying to find a bad wire, or attempting to electrocute both of them.

Faye and her sister had wandered back to the living room, curling up on the couch with her head in her sister's lap catching up on everything that had happened while they had been apart. Delilah had been killing it in her law firm, to say the least. She'd bought her first condo and a cat to go with it. The cat hated her, despite her many attempts to befriend the feline now sharing her home.

Briar spent the rest of the afternoon in the kitchen with her Nana, 'helping' her make cookies and brownies. Naturally, she had to sample everything that was being made. She also got sole ownership of the spatula, and she made sure everyone knew it, loudly yelling it to the rest of the house.

They weren't all back in the same room again until dinner time, Briar happily explaining to Henry that she had been the one to make the 'sketti' as she kept calling it. He had doubts to the validity of that statement. He also quickly figured out where Faye had learned to cook. Faye finally did more than pick at her food, actually inhaling three plates of her favorite comfort dish. After they had all stuffed themselves, the three travelers decided to head to bed, the combination of jet lag, the day's events, and the amount of carbs they had just consumed almost putting them into a coma at the table.

Briar went straight into the room at the end of the hall as soon as her pajamas were on, happily leaping onto the giant canopy bed. Surrounding it were stuffed animals of all shapes and sizes, along with tumble mats, a slide, a small ball pit, a mini trampoline and the biggest dollhouse Henry had ever seen. One wall was a chalkboard, several of Briar's artworks still decorating it from the last time she was there, the other walls were painted a soft purple, her name written in big silver letters on the wall behind the bed, peering proudly through the posters of the canopy.

"It's her room at my parent's house." Faye shrugged.

"Tell me again how I'm the one that spoils her?"

"There's more stuff in here now than there used to be."

"No there's not!" Delilah called from down the hall, Faye shooting an annoyed look over her shoulder.

"They're her grandparents, they're supposed to spoil her."

"Is this the biggest room in the house?"

"It used to be our playroom. Dad wanted to turn it into a home theater before I had Briar."

"Papa, watch!" Briar gasped, picking up a remote and turning on the TV mounted on the wall across from her bed.

"A TV of her own in her room." Henry half laughed. "And I get yelled at for sneaking her a biscuit!"

"You sneak her cookies just before dinner!"

"Your mother has been stuffing her with cookies since we got here."

"She hasn't seen her in a while?"

"That settles it, until I end up getting that kid her own pony I don't want to hear another word about me spoiling her." Henry snorted.

"She asked you for a pony, didn't she?"

"It's come up." Henry confirmed, tucking the sleepy, squirmy child in tightly with her bunny under her arm.

"She's not getting a pony." Faye grouched, kissing her daughter's forehead.

"But I want a pony." Briar pouted.

"Where will you keep a pony?"

"The stable where Papa ride horseys."

"You know, Mommy is pretty sure she asked Papa not to take you out there." Faye grouched accusingly, glaring at Henry as he pointedly avoided her gaze.

"She started crying." Henry mumbled, giving her a pathetic look. "I can't say no when she's that upset. It was just the once, I promise. She only pat them, she didn't get on a single horse."

"Wanna ride horsey."

"Anything else you do that I should know about?" Faye asked, raising a brow at her boyfriend.

"I leave my underwear on the bathroom floor every night then put them in the hamper each morning before you wake up."

"Strangely specific."

"It has been eating me up inside for ages. I finally feel free."

It felt like no time at all that Faye was curled up in her old bed, Henry sleeping in the one that used to be her sisters. It felt like even less time before she was jerked out of sleep, her stomach protesting strongly, bile rising into her throat. She jumped out of bed and rushed across the hall to the bathroom, not even taking the time to turn on the lights before violently emptying herself of everything she had eaten that day. Henry was right there only a few seconds later, having been awoken by her frantic rush to the bathroom. He held her hair back at the base of her neck, rubbing her back softly and trying to focus on anything other than her vomiting. He should have been used to it after Faye being literally worried sick for weeks, but the smell got to him every time.

"I think I ate too much." Faye whimpered, using some tissue to wipe her mouth and tossing it into the bowl, flushing it along with everything she'd just thrown up.

"You haven't eaten much in weeks, darling. Maybe you should try pacing yourself more?" Henry suggested, slowly helping her to her feet to rinse her mouth out.

"I know, but I just love my mom's spaghetti so much." Faye whined.

"I'm sure she'll make it again if you just ask her."

"Well that seems obvious now."

"Think you can go back to bed?" Henry asked, leading her back across the hall at her small nod.

After another two days of feeling nauseous, they had all come to the conclusion that her immune system must have been weakened by the stress of everything and caused her to catch some stomach bug. After a week and a half, she was wondering what kind of super bug she had managed to contract. The only time she could keep food down was when she would nibble at things throughout the day. Just how long would it take for her stomach to get used to food again before she could keep it down? She'd hoped she would be able to stomach something more substantial on their last full day with her family, muscling down her mother's homemade waffles until lunchtime. Two bites of mashed potatoes was all it took to tip her over the top, landing right back in the bathroom with Henry holding her hair back.

Thankfully they had noticed the pattern of small bits of food staying down in time for them to fly back to England. The fatigue of her being sick, along with how emotional she was about not being able to actually spend as much time with her family as she would have liked while she was there had her sleeping almost the entire flight. That left Henry dealing with Briar's motion sickness. He was slowly becoming convinced his entire world would be nothing but vomit for the foreseeable future. Faye finally gets to where she can eat just fine, only for Briar to be throwing up kool-aid and vanilla wafers while her mother got some well deserved rest. It was a good thing he loved his girls, otherwise he may begin to resent them soon.

@weallhaveadestiny @lunedelorient @summersong69 @mis-lil-red @lharrietg @amberangel112 @mansaaay  @nostalgicb-txh

Ok, my taglist got deleted somehow. If I missed anyone, I’m sorry. If you want to be added, let me know. I’m doing my best to make the tags work, but it’s not going great, my dudes.

[tossawary]

Have I ever told you that even just the title "Pride Is Not The Word You're Looking For" is absolutely genius to me???? I enjoy it so much. It's such a simple little joke nod to the original name of SQH's book and it makes me weirdly happy, if that makes sense. IDK it's just very fitting and witty and my naming game is v weak so I'm impressed

Thank you! I chose it on a bit of a whim. It’s from the song “Dear Theodosia”, for those who don’t know the reference. Yes, I know the musical is problematic, but I still like the wordplay and rhyming in the lyrics of many of the songs, and the theme of parenthood in that song felt appropriate. 

Also, yes, it’s a reference to “Proud Immortal Demon Way”! 

It also felt appropriate to the character of Shang Qinghua | Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, because... I mean, I wouldn’t exactly call the guy who will literally hug thighs and beg for his life “proud”, but Airplane has his pride. I was struck in the Airplane Extras by his somewhat twisty sense of pride. He’ll let himself get stepped on, but he very much has a backbone and his moments of arrogance. He’s the creator of this world and he knows it! He acts shameless, but he’s not open either. He’s not shy, but he keeps his feelings buried. 

“Proud” is not the word I’m looking for to describe Shang Qinghua... and yet... 

I have difficulty naming fics (I spend lots of time trawling quote and lyrics sites), but every once and a while I hit something that feels like, “Yeah, this works.” 

[commajade]

(yes, that was me!) but, can we get an album ranking for 'pink tape' by f(x), pls?

HELLO sorry for the wait i got busy!

what a gorgeous wonderful perfect album luna even said in a recent interview that pink tape is such a perfect album she used it as a reference for her solo work and i'm sure it's inspired many others. one of the Perfect Albums of kpop (incl but not limited to reboot by wg street by exid perfect velvet by reve). it's so well balanced and well put together and not all the songs r my taste (it's not a no skip album for me) but it's still a Perfect Album. it's such a sampler of the different sounds of 2013 kpop (which was EXCELLENT) and takes you on a series of emotions and just keeps moving.

1. shadow - my fave f(x) song of all time, has been since 2013. love love LOVE this song the concept the production the vocals are all just so particular to f(x). it's experimental it's creepy it's delightful it's like the little sister of orgel by shinee.

2. snapshot - this is like that jazzy cabaret style but with such perfect pop flair like it reminds me of snsd how perfect this song is but the flavor is so distinctly f(x). the production is just perfect. this is the mr. boogie of the album it has that perfect balance of melody and good synths that drive me crazy and i have to keep listening to it over and over.

3. no more - ICONIC!!!!!! i can't believe the chorus is "that foxlike bitch" like with that cheerful retro sound it's SO PERFECT SO FUN and the whole song is light and fun!!!!! it's just perfectly written and produced and the harmonies are so sweet. other lyric i liked is "eat well and live well" which basically means "good fucking riddance" in korean. doo wop but it's a fuck you to my ex song i love it.

4. signal - retro feel good summer track!!!! absolutely fantastic. just added it to my summer playlist.

5. rum pum pum pum - way better than i remembered it being? i remember not liking the title but it's actually a fantastic song mv performance combo.

6. ending page - country-adjacent western pop ballad with guitars and sparkly piano in the back. it's a good one! sounds almost like christian rock and honestly every time a kpop girl group has done christian music it's sounded great.

7. airplane - it's v 2013 western pop but instead of turning off it makes me kind of emotional like if it came on when i was on a long car ride i would start crying but then also want to dance. perfect montage song.

8. goodbye summer - my boy rookie kyungsoo is here!!!! this song is honestly still pretty popular in korea i think. whenever i hear it it feels rly familiar like i've seen it on tv or at a cafe or market recently. showing off the vocal chops all around and the chorus melody is SO perfect.

9. step - FUN AS HELL. vocals KILLING IT. very 2013 use of brass.

10. toy - when amber said "i'm transforming now" i started LAUGHING. i love this song actually the dubstep breakdown and the almost orchestral accompaniment to it right before going back into the dance pop chorus? incredible.

11. kick - a club beat! a very normal kpop song? and like? very 2013 but at the same time weirdly timeless?? i feel like this song could be an nct song or a 4th gg song now and do fairly well?

12. pretty girl - soundwise it fits well into the rest of the album and the rock type sound is good but everyone's already talked about how weird the lyrics r lol

[meet-me-in-the-kitchen]

Can you discuss the following points on you Haylor Masterpost? 1) The ME! video is Haylor; 2) The song Adore You is Haylor and directly references the ME! video and the YNTCD video; 3) In the Adore You video, which is a "film," the goldfish is Taylor Swift; 4) the monologue at the beginning of the IKYWT video has direct parallels to Lover and Folklore (kaleidoscope of memories), the Adore You video (burning too bright & Harry's smile), and Exile and OOTW (balancing on breaking branches)?

*cracks knuckles*

1. ME! is Haylor.

Lyrical/Visual Parallels and Insight:

“Living in winter, I am your summer” vs. Harry describing Taylor in Olivia: “summertime, butterflies all belong to your creation”

“I promise that you’ll never find another like me” vs. “Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat”; “You searched the world for something else to make you feel like what we had”; “You showed me colours you know I can’t see with anyone else”

Basically: What they had was intense and exclusive to each other. Won’t find it with anyone else.

“You never get just what you see, but I will never bore you, baby” vs. “I might never be your knight in shining armour, I might never be the one you take home to mother, and I might never be the one who brings you flowers, but I can be the one tonight...I can be the one you love from time to time.”

It’s not a conventional love. It’s a crooked love, and that’s what keeps it interesting.

“Like a rainbow with all of the colours” vs. “Walk in your rainbow paradise”; “You showed me colours you know I can’t see with anyone else”; “The rest of the world was black and white, but we were in screaming colour”

Do I even need to elaborate. Trust your instincts. Yes, this is very Haylor.

The guy in the MV narrative is trying to get Taylor back, and she refuses, except when he brings up the cat. Harry and Taylor got Olivia (her cat) together when they got back into a relationship. Also explains his song title, Olivia. Lots of melting colours in the MV, sort of mirrors leaked Two Ghosts MV, a play off of OOTW.

2. Adore You + ME!

Like I said, the rainbow paradise lyric shifts back to ME!

3. Adore You as a Film + Exile

Adore You is a film. It’s speculated that the fish could symbolize Taylor (see: Lover fishbowl), and him having to let her go. In which case, the lyric “I think I’ve seen this film before and I didn’t like the ending” in Exile would make a lot of sense.

4. IKYWT Monologue Parallels

1. Kaleidoscope of memories = basically folklore as an album. Reflection.

2. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright, maybe he knew that when he saw me vs. this lyric from Golden

3. His smile in Adore You

4. Harry loses his balance in the MV. Balancing on breaking branches.

5. After losing the fish in Adore You, he sets out at sea to go find himself. There’s a bit of a narrative at play with Falling, Lights Up, and Adore You. Self discovery, losing a relationship, finding yourself even after losing that person. Taylor could very well, again, be the fish symbolically, as crazy as it sounds, it’s quite logical from a symbolic standpoint.

EDIT:

“Hey! So I am obsessed with the Adore You vid. I think it is his dancing on the hill! Also on the motor bike in Lights UP, AND her in the cabin in candlelight for Cardigan - They are airplanes - arms stretched out zooming around”

and he had the fish in a backpack just like the backpack she had for Olivia i think it was in Miss Americana (think he watched, why wouldnt he) — @haylorsupremecy

At Sea Adore You x OOTW x Cardigan Connection Reference found by @winestaint-shirt

If you find anything else, LMK in asks & comments. As always, this is based first and foremost on speculation. Lastly, here’s my Haylor Thoughts Masterpost ;)