#Yep... still a bit of a downer as its just me venting my own grief and wishfullfillmebt

[immergladsss]

Day 3- Flower Crown

[Continuation from Day 2]

“How is she?” Robin asked Loveday as he stepped into the manor the next day.

“Still the same, I’m shocked really. She’s taking it so hard.” Loveday led the way to Maria’s tower, hoping with every step of the way that he’ll be able to console Maria.

Inside her room, high up in her tower, Maria’s heart was still heavy and numb. She watched the world outside her window through listless eyes. Anytime a smile threatened to cross her lips, she turned to Serena’s empty basket and felt a jab a pain, thinking of the many joyous mornings they would no longer share. Maria couldn’t dare feel any joy. She felt too much guilt.

Her door creaked open. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Robin walk in and heard Loveday quietly walk away.

“Morning, feeling any better?” His horse voice threatened the coldness of her heart.

Maria shrugged. “Should I feel better?” She asked without peeling her eyes from the window.

Robin came from behind and enveloped her in his arms. Maria leaned back and took in a deep breath. Her eyes began to sting again.

“Let’s take a walk outside,” he whispered in her ear.

“I don’t want to get dressed.”

“You don’t have to.” He draped her long coat over her nightgown and led Maria down her winding steps, out the manor, and into the garden.

The morning sun blinded her swollen eyes. She dropped her head; her limp curls shaded her face from the world. Still, Robin pulled her forwards. Under a large, and old oak tree, there was a blanket and breakfast set up. No doubt from Marmaduke. Spring flowers bloomed around them. They were beautiful. Maria could just about imagine Serena eating them to her hearts content. Maria crawled onto the blanket, laid on her back, and spread out her arms. She closed her eyes and let out a shivering breath.

“You should eat?”

“I’m not hungry.”

Birds chirped around them. The wind rustled the trees. She took in another breath. The sounds of nature carried Maria into a daze. From afar she heard Robin humming to himself, it was Loveday’s Waltz.

Then she felt a pang of hunger. She turned to look at the food but couldn’t bring herself to eat. Robin was chewing on a piece of grass as he braided some flowers.

“What are you doing?”

“A flower crown.”

“What for?”

Robin shrugged.

“You should eat.”

Robin stopped and looked at her. “I’m not hungry,” he responded smugly.

Maria rolled her eyes but finally sat up. Robin poured them some tea and Maria placed some biscuits on their plates. She forced herself to eat. Every bite feeling dryer and less appetizing than the previous one, but she knew it was all in her head. Marmaduke’s food had never disappointed her.  

“I should have saved her.”

“There was nothing to save her from. She is one of the lucky few to die from old age.”

Maria’s heart ached, “It was too soon.”

Robin gave her a sad smile, “You’ll never feel like you have enough time.”

“It’s not fair. If only I had noticed beforehand. If I... I just...” Maria sighed. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to express or rationalize what she was feeling. Deep down she knew Robin was right. Serena was old and had lived a long, and rather spoiled, life. Still, she felt a deep, throbbing, ache through her heart. An ache that traveled throughout her body and threatened to consume her.

“It’s alright,” Robin took her hand. “You can grieve for the sake of grieving. You don’t need some tragedy or reason to blame yourself. It’s not your fault, and you did everything you could. Blimey, I’ve never seen anyone do so much to keep their pet alive. I know Serena loved you every second of her life and knows how much you did for her.” He pulled her close until she was on his lap. “You miss her. She was your friend. You’ll morn for her absence. You’ll morn for the new memories you wish you could share with her. Its ok to morn, even when a loss was as peaceful as hers. In the arms of someone who loved her so much. Reckon the rest of us would be so lucky to have half as much!”

Maria leaned into his shoulder and the numbness from her morning began to ebb away. She allowed her tears to trickle down her cheeks as she nibbled on her food.

“I want to see her again.”

“Well doubt you’ll want to unbury her. Reckon it’s a ghastly sight.”

Maria smacked his shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

Robin laughed. “It’s a good thing you fought tooth and nail to include her and Wrolf in the family portrait. Though the painter may never forgive you for that.”

Maria chuckled, thinking about the poor painter who was about to lose his mind every time they had to reposition themselves. For some reason or another, either Wrolf, Serena, or her nephew would throw a fit and insist on removing themselves from the portrait. Including her beloved animal companions was difficult, and it was a choice that left her wondering if it had been worth the loss of the family painter. Yet now, she sent a small prayer to the heavens thankful to have that at least.

“Thank you, Robin.” She placed a damp kiss on his cheek.

“My pleasure, princess.”

He finished the flower down and placed it on her head. He studied her and frowned. “Bullocks. It’s too small.”

“I have a better use for it.”

Once their picnic was over, and Maria was in brighter spirits, they walked to Serena’s grave. Maria smiled, seeing new flower buds growing in between their white roses. She draped the flower crown on Serena’s wooden grave marker. “Perfect, it’s just the right size.”