#Yeah this happened today. Crying while sick is not a good thing i thought id choke

[mrfoox]

Everytime I think 'im not that unstable during my period'. Something minor goes wrong and I immediately have an two hour breakdown

[enamoured-x]

Sweet Release | Part 3

Angel Reyes x Reader 

Summary: You give Angel a chance and things get serious.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Angst

Word count: 3.9k

Excerpt: “Angel was in your fucking veins, still coursing through you, still under your skin. He was in your damn blood stream, you were sure the ache of his love went all the way down to your bones and burrowed there.”

*gif is mine! 

a/n: okay so I lied, this is NOT the final part. Part 4 will be the final part!! Thanks for all the love on this fic! Enjoy!

Part 1 | Part 2

Part 3

Days passed by with no word from Angel and honestly, you were glad for it. You needed some space after what happened that night. You were torn between wanting him again and not wanting to put yourself in a position where he could hurt you. It was exhausting going back and forth with yourself, your heart and head fighting a battle. Needless to say that night only made things more confusing. 

You were just getting home from your shift at work. You were exhausted to say the least but you were glad for the distraction, at least for most of the day. Now you were home and your head was filled with Angel again. And as if the man could read your mind, which sometimes you thought he could, your phone rang. His caller ID lit up the screen and this time you didn’t think to not answer. After your intimate moment at the clubhouse and how everything with him was still unresolved and even more complicated, you decided to answer. 

“Hello?”

“Oh, wasn’t sure you were going to answer...” You bit your lip. You weren’t sure either but you were kind of glad you did. It was nice to hear his voice after a long shift at work even though you had wanted to keep your mind off him. No matter what everything always led back to him. 

“Debated on it.” Is all you said. It was quiet for a few moments and you were about to speak up again when he finally started talking.

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

“Why?” You had the day off but you weren’t going to tell him that just yet until you knew what he was planning. 

“Can I see you? Maybe grab some lunch and just talk? We don’t have to talk about us if you don’t want to but I just…” He sighed into the phone, “I just miss you and I want to be your friend again. Can we do that, mami? Can we hang out?” You were surprised at his offer. Not wanting to talk about your relationship but instead wanting to build back a friendship. Your heart ached something fierce at the idea. You missed him too. You missed his friendship, his jokes, his easy going personality. You missed just being able to have a conversation with him. Of course it went deeper than that, you both knew that. You two were still in love with each other and he fucked up, but right now he was trying to put in effort. Trying to gain momentum with you again and you couldn’t say no. You couldn’t say no to a second chance, couldn’t say no to trying to fix your relationship. Angel was still a big part of who you were and that was never going to go away. You figured it was time to ease into giving him a chance. 

“Give me a time and place, Reyes.” You swore he was smiling as he let out a breath. You couldn’t help yourself, you were grinning like an idiot too. 

-

Your hands were clammy. Your heart was going to beat out of your chest, you were sure of it. You had just seen Angel a few days ago, yet here you were, a bundle of nerves waiting to see him again like it was the first time. It was a big deal though, saying yes to this. It meant you were leaving the door open for your relationship, giving it another chance to see if you could really make it work. So yeah, you were nervous, if you were being honest you were also terrified. Leaving that door open meant giving Angel the power to hurt you again, to push you away. You knew that, you knew it was a dangerous game yet there you were at the booth at some diner waiting for him. You didn’t think anything of it. You were a few minutes early, just wanting to arrive already and try to calm yourself down. But you were anything but calm and he was five minutes late. 

Your phone rang on the table and your heart dropped. You knew it was him. You knew what was about to happen. You knew he wasn’t coming, you didn’t even have to answer it, but you did anyways. 

“Mami…” You could hear it in his tone right away. Guilt. You can’t say you were surprised. But you were still hurt at what this meant. 

“You can’t make it.” You confirmed for him. You bit your lip to stop the tears in your eyes from falling. You should’ve known. You should’ve known nothing was going to change. It was always going to be the same, wasn’t it? Cancelled plans and embarrassing yourself out in public. You were sick of this game. 

“I’m so fucking sorry, querida. It’s some club shit with some people across–” You don’t let him finish. You didn’t care what it was. He wasn’t coming and that’s all you needed to know. 

“Okay.” You didn’t have anything to say, you didn’t know why you hadn’t hung up on him yet.

“Please. I’m sorry, can we do this tomorrow? I swear I’ll be there.” You shook your head. The waitress was making rounds and you got up before she could check on you. You didn’t need this to become more embarrassing than it already was. You made your way out of the diner. 

“No, I shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place because once again I’m left looking stupid for holding out hope for you.” Before he can talk you speak up again, “bye, Angel,” you hung up the phone. 

It was true. You shouldn’t have said yes to this. Should've thought about how badly it could go. Should’ve thought about all those times he stood you up. But you were so clouded in the idea of being with him again. So caught up in the excitement of possibly starting anew with him and making things work. But you were a damn fool yet again. It was that stupid hope and excitement that had you hanging on to him for so long the first time that you didn’t see how undeserving you were of this kind of treatment. 

“Fucking Angel.” You muttered to yourself as you made your way back home raging like hell but also wishing you could just fucking cry. It's like your body wouldn’t let you, wouldn’t let you waste a single tear on Angel. You didn’t know if you were strong or just stupid for trying to hold it in subconsciously. Either way you knew the dam was going to break soon enough, Angel still held your heart in his hands.

-

You cuddled under the blankets on your couch as you watched some random movie you stumbled upon while channeling surfing. Your empty glass of wine sitting on the coffee table in front of you. You wanted to just unwind after yesterday’s stressful shift and Angel’s actions earlier this afternoon. You were tired of it all. Tired of dealing with this. You just wanted to move on from this back and forth. But you didn’t want to move on from Angel, that was the damn problem. Hell, you knew you didn’t want to move on when you refused to block his number despite the constant phone calls. And you knew you didn’t want to move on when you let him kiss you, when you offered yourself to him. 

You rubbed your temple at the headache beginning to form, it only got worse when you heard rumbling down the street and eventually heard it get closer. Angel. Or Ez but Ez would have told you he was coming over, Angel wouldn’t. The fucking gall of this man to be here after what he did today. You sat up just as the engine died. You took a deep breath, mind running with what you were going to say to him. Hell, what he was going to say to you. You were probably about to hear an ear load of apologies, honestly, it would be an improvement from the lack of concern when he used to cancel on you. The bar was so fucking low at this point. The knock broke you out of your head and you sighed, getting up and walking over to it. You looked down at your attire, sweats and an old t-shirt. You couldn’t be bothered about it, why would you care what you looked like in front of him? Especially now. 

You opened your door and just as suspected, Angel stood before you. His kutte on, underneath his black short sleeve button up. You loved that shirt on him, you couldn't help but think maybe he wore it for you. You pushed that thought away, it didn’t matter. You were pissed. Everything you felt earlier at the diner came rushing back as he stood before you. 

“Can I help you?” You asked, leaning against the door way, arms crossed. If earlier he sounded guilty, then he looked the part now too. Anguish in his eyes, at what he did to you today yet again. A fool, you reminded yourself. You were a fool. 

“I know I fucked up–”

“Which time are we talking about here?” You waited and he sighed. 

“Can I come in?” He gestured behind you. You were fighting with yourself. Don’t let him in, remember what happened when you were alone with him last time. Let him in, you guys need to actually talk this out this time. You chewed on your lip as he stared at you, waiting. You opened the door for him to walk in and closed it shut behind him. Officially trapping you inside with him. Officially ready to talk. You hoped. 

He took off his kutte and set it on the back of the couch and then took a seat, you sat on the other end of the couch, crossing your arms and waiting for him to talk. He looked displeased by the space between you two but only scooted a little closer. 

“I know it doesn’t mean much right now but I’m sorry about today. I wanted to be there so bad but something came up and it was shitty timing.” Shitty timing seemed to be the title of your whole relationship with Angel. No, that wasn’t fair. In the beginning it was good. 

“It’s always something, Angel.” You said, not knowing what he wanted from you right now. Did he want you to forgive him? You didn’t think you could do that. 

“I know, mami. I know. I want you though, fucking need you. I need you to know I want this to work, I want another chance to make it up to you and I know today was supposed to do that but I made it worse.” He did make it worse. 

“What do you want me to say? You’ve done nothing to prove to me that you’re going to do better. If anything, today proved just the opposite.” You stood up, energy coursing through. You couldn’t just sit still, not with all of this on your mind. He stood up too, stepping closer to you. You shook your head at him and he stopped. 

“Fuck, I know. I just…at the party...” He trailed his fingers through his hair, now looking distressed. You couldn’t find it in yourself to care right now. Did he think coming here to apologize was going to fix everything? That what he did at the party changed anything?

“Sex doesn’t fix everything, Angel.” You snapped at him. He shook his head, a bitter smile playing on his lips now at your words. 

“Really? Weren’t saying that when I had my tongue buried in your pussy.” His words knocked you off your game. How fucking dare he.

“I fucking told you it wasn’t going to change anything, Angel. It doesn’t. All it proves is that you can make me come, anyone can do that though.” You were angry and you were now treading dangerous waters here. 

“Watch yourself, mami. And don’t act like you weren’t fucking begging for it, fingers ain’t doing it for you, huh?” He asked, stepping closer to you. Fuck no. This is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. But his words turned you on just as much as they pissed you off. You were fighting fire with fire here. 

“Fuck you, Angel.” He laughed and grabbed your hips before you could back away again. You tried to wiggle out of his hold but he only pulled you closer. 

“Look at me.” As if your body and mind were trained to follow his command, you stopped your movements and looked up at him. Those damn eyes. You didn’t know what to feel in the moment. Your head was all over the place. You found yourself welcoming his warm touch and his chest pressed to yours. You also found yourself despising how easily you listened to him. How much you loved him. How much you hated what he was doing to you. 

“Let me make you feel good. Let me make it up to you.” He whispered. His words were enough to push him away from you and finally take a step back. 

“Do you ever fucking listening when I talk? I just told you, sex isn’t going to fix anything. It’s the same shit, Angel. You have to do a lot more to make it up to me than giving me a fucking orgasm.” You were pissed. What did he expect, to make you come again and hope for the best? Nothing was getting resolved here. 

“You’re right. Doesn’t mean you don’t want it though.” He steps forward again, “doesn’t mean you can’t use me to get off.” Now you were confused. Last time he said it was going to kill him, he’s fucking torturing himself now then. It was torturing you. 

“It’s not the same.” You muttered softly. He could make you feel things you’ve never felt before but in the end it didn’t matter because you didn’t have him.

“I know. I want more and I know it’s going to take time. But right now let me help you again.” He took your hips into his hands and you swallowed hard. You didn’t pull away this time. You wanted to cry. You were doing it again, letting yourself have him like this just to be left unsatisfied in the end even after an amazing orgasm. But you couldn’t help yourself. 

Angel was in your fucking veins, still coursing through you, still under your skin. He was in your damn blood stream, you were sure the ache of his love went all the way down to your bones and burrowed there. There was no getting him out so naturally your body gave in, you were made up of him anyways. An extension of him, of his soul. There was no escaping him. 

He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, breathing life back into you once more. Your body vibrated at his touch, at his tongue meeting yours. He tasted so fucking sweet, so damn addicting. He moaned into the kiss and then moved you to lay down on the couch as he gently got on top. Your breathing was heavy, at having him on top of you, his body heat encasing you, making you feel at home. 

“Gonna make you feel good with my fingers. I can’t give you–”

“I know.” Sex was off the table still, even for you. It didn’t mean you didn’t desperately want to feel him all over you–inside you. Because you did, you wanted it so fucking bad. But both of you knew you couldn’t give yourself to the other like that again, not until it was certain that it wouldn’t be the last time or it wouldn’t be out of lust and longing. It would be out of pure love and commitment next time that happened. Next time, that phrase was enough to make you realize that you did not want to end things with him. But you knew that, didn't you? That wasn’t the problem, the problem was that you needed reassurance before you could give yourself to him again, even if you were already his. 

“Lift your hips for me, baby.” You did as he said, he pulled down your sweats and panties just enough to get his fingers on you. You moaned at the first touch of him gliding his fingers through your folds. 

“So wet for me already.” He whispered into your ear. You grabbed onto the back of his neck and brought his lips to yours once more. His fingers started to work you over, lips never disconnecting from your own. He rubbed your clit with his thumb as he started to slide two fingers inside you. You whined into his mouth and he pulled away. 

“Feel good?” He asked gently, kissing at your cheek and jaw. You preened at the attention, at the softness and care he was taking with you. 

“Yes.” You breathed out, rolling your hips into his fingers. His warm breath on your neck made you giggle through your moans. He moved his head to look in your eyes and gave you a small smile. 

“Always so ticklish.” He pressed a kiss to your nose. Your heart ached with love, he was being too soft. Too gentle. Too loving. It was only too much because this was just a moment, passing in time, after it was gone there would be no sweet kisses and feather light touches. It hurt too much to think about so you pulled him down by the neck to kiss him again. His fingers filled you up nicely, no where near what you really wanted but much better than your own. He sped up his movements on your clit and started to curl his fingers inside you. You let out a gasp and he sucked at your neck, tongue and teeth meeting your skin. You were getting closer to the edge. It should be a crime how fucking good he was with his fingers alone, it should be a crime how fucking good it felt to have his lips on your neck. He licked at your pulse point and you were pretty sure he could feel your heartbeat on his tongue with the way it was beating. 

“Angel, I’m gonna come.” You cried out, trying to roll your hips faster and harder into his fingers, needing the momentum and the pressure. Needed him to take you over that cliff again. 

“Come around my fingers, mami. Let go for me.” He whispered and rubbed your clit harder, it was just what you needed to finally break free. Your orgasm crashed into you like a tidal wave, pulling you in all different directions. You were drowning again. You didn’t fucking care. You welcomed the wave as it pushed and pulled you against your will, you were not in control, your body was not yours in this moment. Angel’s fingers never let up, working you through your climax. It was never ending as your back arched. Your legs were shaking, clenching around his arm but he made no move to stop. Tears slid down your cheeks as he continued his ministrations. 

You’d never known anything like this before. Angel had the touch of a fucking god, able to bend you to his will and take you wherever he wanted. He wasn’t an angel, no, he was a fucking god. Your god, who worshipped you. Who got down on his knees for you. Who had that magic touch for you. He made you sing sweet fucking melodies of his name, your god. He proved just as much when you felt your second orgasm ripple through you. You cried, grabbing onto him, burying his head in your neck and pressing your face to his to steady yourself as you came for the second time. You were floating, free falling, fucking flying as pleasure coursed through your body. You couldn’t think. All you could do was sob into neck as you chanted his name like a damn prayer. 

He slowed his movements, trying to ease you back into this world before he stopped all together. You were panting, eyes closed as you tried to calm yourself down. Tears were still falling. You weren’t sure if it was from the pleasure or from the situation you were in again. 

You opened your eyes and Angel was there, looking down at you. He placed his lips against your cheeks, kissing away your tears. You squeezed him to you tighter, not wanting this moment to end. Not wanting to think about all the other stuff. But this was reality. He brought his fingers up to his lips, you could smell your arousal on them, could see it on them. He sucked them into his mouth all the while keeping your eye. Your breath hitched at the sight, you just had two orgasms and you were greedy for another one. He sucked your slick clean from his fingers before he pressed one more kiss to your lips and leaned back to sit up on the couch. You took a second to take a deep breath before you sat up and pulled your pants up. 

“I know that doesn’t change anything, baby. I know I have a lot of work to do. And I know I hurt you today again. But I swear on my life I’m going to do better, you deserve better. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you.” You closed your eyes at the confession, hoping you were done crying. His words were sincere, you knew they were. And yeah, he was right, another orgasm didn’t change much but right now you could feel how much he wanted to do right by you. It was in the tone of his voice, in the look in his eyes. In the way he touched you tonight. 

“I want that, Angel. I want that so bad but–”

“It’s going to take time. I know. But I can be patient, mami.” You let out a weak laugh at that. 

“You’re the most impatient person I’ve ever met.” You told him, no malice behind your words. Just a bit of teasing. He huffed out a laugh.

“I’d wait forever for you.” Angel was always smooth with his words, always the romantic. But you still felt your heart melt at his confession. 

“Let me make up for today by taking you out tomorrow. I swear to god I’ll be there, I’ll come pick you up myself.” You said you weren’t going to put yourself through this shit again. You said you didn’t want to look stupid again. So what the fuck changed tonight that had you believing he was going to follow through this time? It was just something you felt and you couldn’t shake the feeling. But your guard was still up, your heart still fragile. 

“Angel, tomorrow will be your last chance. If you don’t come, it’s over. For good.” You didn’t feel like it was much of an ultimatum as much as it was common sense. You could only give him so many chances before you had to draw the line somewhere. You were drawing it here.

He nodded his head eagerly, “I swear I’ll be here and I’ll be here everyday after that.”

You could only pray that was true because if he didn’t show tomorrow, you’d have to say goodbye to him forever. 

Taglist:  @starrynite7114 @xladymacbethx @fear-less-write-more @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @glimmerglittergirl @vicmackeybullshxt @miss-nori85 @blessedboo @kalimont83 @ctrlbitch @angelreyesgirl @langiinspirations @lilac-tea-time @melancholymelanin @-im-fantastic- @withmyteeth @isisafrofairy @elektriknachosss @krysiewithak @thegirlwhoisalwayswriting @mental-bycatch @smurfflynn @blackmissfrizzle @arination99 @bucky-iss-bae @anactualcaseofthetruth​ @m3ntallygon3​ @montanaraed​ @mrsmarvelous1995 @bellisperennis0​ @akalei349​ @mylittlelonelyappreciation​ @angelreyesgirl89​ @justlikebreathing (if you want to be removed from the taglist for this fic pls let me know!)

[forever-rogue]

hey, lovely, can you do #135 from the 390 prompt list for Agent Whiskey, if it sparks anything please

Prompt Used: “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me to death.”

Pairing: Jack Daniels x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: language

Pedro Character Masterlist

»»————-　♡　————-««

A small huff left your lips as you tried to open the front door, shifting the bags of take out to one shoulder. After a few moments of struggle, you finally managed to open the door to your apartment but found it surprisingly dark and empty. Odd. Jack should have been home by now; he’d said he was going to leave the office early today to be home in time for dinner.

“Jack?” you decided to and see if he was home - maybe he’d just forgotten to turn the lights or had just gotten home himself. Shuffling into the kitchen, you flicked on the light and set the bags on the counter. Taking out the containers one by one, you hummed under your breath and tired to decide what drink would go best with the Chinese. Perhaps it didn’t need to be anything fancy, so you grabbed a couple of bottles of beer and set them on the counter, “Jack? Baby? Are you home?”

When you still didn’t hear a response, you trapezed to the bedroom, turning on the hall light, stopping short of the bedroom when you realized it was all dark. He wasn’t home after all. Very odd. Fishing your phone out of your pocket, you scrolled through your notifications to make sure you hadn’t missed anything from Jack. But there was nothing. Zero, zilch, nada.

Pulling up his contact information, you quickly dialed his number and impatiently waited while it rang. And it rang, and rang, and rang, before going to voicemail.  

“Hey, Jack,” you tried to keep your voice as pointedly neutral as possible, “it’s just me. I thought you were going to be home early tonight? I-I got...all of our favorites for dinner. Maybe I...maybe I had the wrong day? Anyways, it’s been a bit since I’ve heard from you, so just let me know you’re okay or when you’re coming home. I love you.”

Ending the call, you frowned before heading back into the kitchen. You’d wait for him for now. Hopefully he was coming home soon and this was all some sort of misunderstanding. Grabbing your beer, you headed into the living room and pulled up Netflix, deciding to watch something while you waited.

And you waited. And waited. And waited.

»»————-　♡　————-««

But he never came. And he never called. And he never texted. He had gone radio silent.

At first you had been frustrated. Annoyed and upset, but then you became worried. It wasn’t like him to just disappear. Never.

So you kept trying to contact him to no avail. You’d called and gone to Statesmen headquarters to try and get some answers but no one was willing to give you any information. It seemed like they were all clamming up and refusing to help you. It was so odd...you’d never once experienced any sort of push back from them. None of his other friends or any of your friends had any information to provide either. It seems like a weird fever dream, but the fact that you continually woke up to an empty bed reminded you that it was all very well.

After a few days of the odd silence, you’d exhausted every resource you could think of. There was nothing else you could think of doing and it was driving you crazy. It was like Jack Daniels had just up and disappeared. But you knew he wasn’t dead - you knew that for a fact because you’d kept checking the news for any deaths and online obituaries. He was gone without a trace.

But why was the real question. Why? Why? Why?

You hadn’t had any sort of fight or argument or anything of the sort, there was nothing to suggest why he would suddenly leave. The only other tangible thought you had was that for some reason it was for your safety...but even that seemed like a stretch. He wasn’t taking on any work that proved extremely dangerous anymore, and things had been quiet. None of it made a lick of sense.

After almost two weeks, you weren’t sure if you were angry behind measure or desperately worried. At this point you just wanted answers, some sort of sign that Jack was alright.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You were sitting in the kitchen, in the very early morning hours when you should have been asleep, drinking coffee that was too dark and strong to be good. But it was the only thing keeping you company besides the agony of your loneliness. You picked up your phone and started scrolling through your social media aimlessly, but for whatever reason, you decided to try and call Jack one more time. You were positive that it was just going to go to voicemail, but you knew that you had nothing to lose at this point.

So you listened to it ring and ring but then to your surprise and shock...the call was answered.

“Hello?” he sounded tired, like you’d woken him up and he hadn’t even checked the caller ID. Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized that this was the first time you’d heard his voice in weeks; this was your sign that he was alive. Your surprise left you in stunned silence for a few moments too long, “hello? Who’s there?”

“J-Jack,” his name was but a mere whisper off of your lips as you tried to keep it together. You didn’t want to scare him and have him end the call then and there, but you needed to talk to him, “i-it’s me!”

"Oh," it was a sudden realization on his end as the line went silent for a few moments...clearly he hadn't meant to pick up this call. Your heart plummeted into your stomach as your brain tried to rationalize what was happening...normally he would have been overjoyed and excited to hear your voice, "hi."

"Jack," you let out a sigh of relief just knowing he was alive, "i-its been two weeks. I was worried sick, baby. You're alive, I'm so glad to your hear your voice."

"I'm fine," you could hear him rustling around before letting out a long sigh, "I'm...yeah."

"What the fuck happened?" there was a note of irritation in your voice as you realized that he didn't seem to want to explain his sudden absence, "I was waiting for you, that night we were going to get Chinese, and you...you never came home. I called and called and I searched everywhere for you. Where the hell have you been? I-is it work? Will you be home soon?"

There was nothing but jilted, stoic silence on the other end of the line. It was cold, hurtful, and every moment felt like it was a knife twisting in your heart.

"Jack?" you felt like banging your head on the table as you willed him to say something...anything, "Jack, please say something. I think you owe me at least an apology for up and leaving! I was worried sick, day and night!"

"Its not work," his voice was cold and steeled, "I'm...I'm not coming back, I'm sorry. You're right - I should at least have told you I was leaving so you wouldn't worry."

"What do you mean you're not coming back?" your throat constricted and suddenly your heart was pounding loudly in your ears. You couldn't have heard him right...right?

"I am...I'm not coming home," he repeated and this time it resonated in your soul, "I'm sorry...I can't come back."

"What the fuck?" your eyes stung with tears as you blinked back stinging, "you're just gone, no note, nothing. I felt like I've been losing my mind for the past two weeks and all you're telling me is that you're not coming back? What happened - what changed? Did I do something?"

"I know you're angry and you have every right to be. I should have...I should have said something and not just left you in the dark," he admitted with a heavy sigh as you scoffed, "but I'm sorry...I just can't come back. I don't expect you to forgive me or for you to understand."

"We've together for two years, Jack! Two years!"

"I know that," tears spilled down your cheeks as you tried to keep your lips from trembling, "and I'm sorry it ended this way."

"What ended? Why? How...it was just a normal day and then...you never came back," you didn't bother to hide your tears as your hands shook, "you just never came home. You left me...you left me do easily, without a word or anything."

"I'm sorry-"

"You're sorry?" your hurt and upset had quickly turned to anger and irritation,  "you're sorry!? I came home and expected to find my boyfriend and instead I got nothing! Absolutely nothing for two weeks and now you're sorry? That's rich, Jack. Why?"

"Please don't be upset..."

"I think I have every right to be upset," you whispered gently, "you just left me. I love you, we've been together for two years and you don't want me to be upset? I have every right to be upset! You owe me an explanation!"

"I left," he stated as you snorted, "and I didn't do it in the best way at all. For that I am sorry. But you have to understand I have my reasons."

"What reason could you possibly have for just leaving me?" you wanted to scream and cry, buy the worst of all was that you still just wanted...him, "why would you just leave me? Am I not enough?"

"No," he stated firmly, "no, you are more than enough. It's...me. I think...I know I'm in love with you and that scares me to death."

"You...love me but you left," you repeated back to him, "you love me but you're scared. So instead of talking to me about it...you just left."

"You know what happened to the last person I loved," he reminded you of the young wife and unborn child he'd lost. But that had been a long time ago and while you knew that the wound would never fully heal, you'd expected a little more faith in your relationship by now, "she was taken from me - everything was. I can't let that happen again."

"Jack, I know that was a lot to deal with," your voice lowered and softened as you ran a hand over your tired face, "but that was years ago and it's going to happen again. You can't just shut everyone you love or might love out. It's not fair to them or you."

"I would never forgive myself if something happened to you on account of me," that night of defiant determination crept back into his voice, "the only way to fully ensure your safety is to leave. I didn't do it in the best way, but it is the only. For what it's worth, I am sorry."

"Me too," you agreed, "I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could talk to me about all of this and tell me what you were feeling. I love you, Jack and nothing is going to change that. I wish you'd trust enough in your heart to come back to me."

"I'm sorry," for the first time it sounded genuine and like he actually meant it, "I do love you. But I don't trust myself...or anyone else not to prey on that fear. This is what's best. I'm sorry but I can't come back."

"Jack," you grew panicked, "please don't do this, please don't go. We can make make work-"

"I'm sorry," he insisted but you were still left incredulous, "but this is goodbye."

"Jack, don't..." the called ended and left you with silence. You stared at your phone before slowly setting it down and burying your face in your arms. Jack was a stubborn man and you knew that there was no changing his mind. Your whole life had just been changed and determined by one simple, horrible decision. Maybe...maybe one day he'd come to his senses...maybe.

"Goodbye, Jack."

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[pink-imagines]

snow day

request: Hi hi! Can I get a headcannon of needy Todoroki were Todoroki is in the ~mood~ 😏but his s/o is out shopping. But when they get back he’s all on them and pretty much attacking them w kisses and cuddles.

a/n: let’s just say for this fic’s sake covid never existed!! (stay safe ppl, try to stay at home as much as possible!) also hi! i’m back, i literally have no excuse now but i’ll be posting a bit more soon hopefully. (you can probably tell that i started writing this back in january)

warnings: mentions of something smutty that might go down but no smut and no other warnings!

masterlist

requesting rules

The snow couldn’t seem to stop falling. It had already been snowing for the past few days, but the weather didn’t change. It stayed the same and the snow piled on and on. You quite liked this kind of weather, somehow seeing people wrapped up in their scarfes with beanies dragged far over their ears made you feel warm - despite the cold weather.  Today was your day off work, so you had a wonderful lazy morning with a bath and eating breakfast while watching TV. The only thing you could think of that would make this better was if Shoto would be here. He was, unlike you, out doing work. You remember teasing him lightly about it yesterday, that you got to spend the day at home while he had to be working out in the snow. In reality you worried that he’d become sick or catch a cold, even though you knew he stayed safe.  Either way, you decided to treat yourself today with some shopping. It had been so long since you could actually go out to shop, so despite the cold you wanted to go outside.

You took the train to the mall and walked through the stores. The only thing you were planning on buying was a sweater, considering that you had been frequently stealing more and more of Shoto’s hoodies so you should probably get some of your own. When you saw the little jewlery shop you stopped dead in your tracks. Knowing that your wallet would start screaming if you walked in there you decided to keep it to window shopping. Earrnings, necklaces, bracelets... but most importantly rings. The memory of your mom straight up asking Shoto when he was planning on proposing came to mind. A smile grazed your lips, he had been so flustered that he choked on whatever he was eating. You had been trying to tell your mom off when he put a hand on your thigh and lightly brushed his thumb across your skin there. “No, it’s fine.. we’ll see in the future.”, he had said and had given your mom a soft smile. If it weren’t for the fact that people were around you would’ve started giggling, but you held yourself back and kept glancing over the rings. One in particular caught your eye, a simple silver one with a smaller diamond. You knew you couldn’t wear a lot of jewlery for your line of work so it seemed so perfect. For the sake of the memory that your brain decided to pull out from the dust, you took a picture of it and sent it to Shoto. -So... when’s it happening? :P You snickered to yourself and started walking again but your phone buzzed quicker than you expected. -You’re starting to sound like your mom A laugh escaped your lips at the message. However, it did surprise you that he could be texting you back so quickly since he was at work. -I was just joking.. aren’t you supposed to be working right now? The text bubble that indicated that he was typing appeared immediately. -Not on patrol today and I just finished my paperwork. I’m about to go into a meeting though -Is that a warning or a challenge? -Y/N. Do. Not. Yet another laughed made it’s way up your throat and you put your phone away again. He usually sounded cold over text, but you could always see right through it. Maybe that’s what four years spent together does to you. 

The hours passed by as you walked around in the mall. It was actually quite pleasant, as not many people were there considering the fact that it was a weekday. As you were trying on clothing in yet another store you found a sweater that you really liked. It was an oversized black sweater that went down you your mid thigh and the collar was a bit wider, almost creating an off the shoulder look. You smiled at yourself in the mirror. Under the sweater you had the black bralette you had tried on moments before. Both of the items fit you perfectly and together it created a very cute look. Without thinking you sent a picture to Shoto, asking him if you should buy it. Thinking he probably had his phone off during the meeting, you put your phone down and changed back to your clothes. When you had just finished up putting your pants back on you looked at you phone again to see Shoto’s messages... you forgot his messages are connected to his laptop as well. -Y/N I told you I was in a meeting! -I mean you look very pretty, I like the sweater.. but if you’re going to send me pictures while I’m at work please put pants on. This was not a funny situation, is what you tried to tell yourself... but that didn’t stop you from smiling at the thought of his ears going red in the meeting room. -Sorry, I forgot! I’ll make it up to you by making you soba, okay? It took a while for him to answer so you went out of the dressing room and put away the things you weren’t going to buy. -... fine. I’ll be home after this meeting, so maybe around 5. -See you then ;) Were you being cheeky? Yes, but it wasn’t anything that he hadn’t dealt with before. 

After making your purchase you looked at your phone and saw that the clock was nearing 4:45 pm, this meaning that it was time for you to go back home. You went over to the trainstation only to see that the train you were taking home was delayed by 20 minutes due to the snow. With a sigh you sat down on the nearest bench and took out your phone. Because of the 20 minutes it would take to arrive at your home station and the 5 minute walk home, you’d be home in about 50 minutes. Knowing Shoto, he’d probably already be home by now as he most likely managed to cut the meeting short - what was the meaning of staying longer when you had already gotten to the point? Even so, you decided to not call him just yet in case he actually still was in the meeting. 

Time passed and as soon as the clock struck 5:00 pm you got a call. “Hey, are you okay? I’ve been waiting for a few and you’re still not home...”, Shoto’s voice was slightly distorted over the line due to your bad connection but you were still relieved to hear his voice. “The train got delayed, can you believe it?”, you sighed heavily. “Yes I can actually, it’s been snowing all day.”, he said calmly, “Do you need me to pick you up? I can be there in 10 minutes.” “No it’s fine, the train should be here in 5 and then I’ll be at the station in just 20 minutes.”, you stood up and looked by the track for the train. “Are you sure? The train’s probably gonna be packed.” “It’s fine, I have headphones with me so I won’t even notice.”, you smiled at his tries to come get you, “Besides I can practically see the train by now.” “Okay... then I’ll meet you at the station.”, he answered, as if it was nothing. “No, baby, you don’t have to do that. You’ve been at work all day just rest please?”, you reasoned. “I’ll see you in 20 minutes, sweetheart.”, he hung up on you. You were taken aback by the usage of the nickname, he barely ever called you by petnames. Before you could think to much of it the train arrived and you put in your earbuds and got on quickly to find a good seat.

The train wasn’t as packed as Shoto had thought. Though there was a crying child in your cart. The mother who frantically tried to calm her baby down gave you an apologetic smile. You made sure to look friendly back at her to make sure she understood that you didn’t mind. The poor woman was trying to keep her child from screaming while also balancing groceries and a stroller at the same time.  “Do you need any help?”, you asked and took out your earbuds. “Please.”, the woman gave you a relieved look. You took her grocery bags and balanced them against some empty seats. Then you took the stroller from her hands so that she could properly care for her baby. “He’s just a bit hungry...”, she said and took out a bottle to give to the young boy. “... I’ve never understood how parents always know what their children want like that.”, you said mostly to yourself but the woman answered anyways. “I guess it’s an instinct.”, she said with a warm smile, “Thank you for your help. My husband’s working late so he couldn’t take care of the groceries tonight.” “Ah... I understand.”, you nodded. “Are you married?”, she asked and when she saw your shocked face she quickly apologized, “Sorry I didn’t mean to pry, I was just trying to make small talk.” “It’s alright.”, you stifled a laugh, “I’m actually not married... not yet at least, my mom’s been pressuring my boyfriend for a while now so who knows.”, you joked. “Oh, you have a boyfriend. Have you two been together for long?”, her demeanor had changed back to the kind and warm one from before. “A few years, actually.”, you nodded, “He’s a very sweet guy and-... that’s him actually.” Your phone started buzzing and Shoto’s caller-ID flashed up on the screen. His picture that you had chosen was of him holding a puppy husky that you had been thinking of adopting. Sadly, you ended up not doing that since you were both to busy to take care of a dog - let alone a puppy. You excused yourself to the woman next to you and answered. “Hi, babe, is everything okay?”, you asked. “Yeah, I just wanted to say that I’m by the station. Was the train packed?”, he spoke softly, which made it clear for you that he was in fact outside. “Not at all actually, it’s quite roomy. I told you that you didn’t have to wait for me though...”, you sighed. “I wanted to. It’s fine.”, he said and then added in a whisper, “Then I get to see you sooner.” Your face flushed up in all shades of pink as he said that. He was never usually this affectionate, but you couldn’t deny that you absolutely loved it. “You’re cute, Shoto.”, you chuckled. “Don’t laugh at me.”, you heard him huff slightly. “Sorry, sorry.”, you smiled, “I’ll be by the station in a few minutes if I’m lucky, okay? Thank you for waiting for me.” “No problem... see you soon.”, he said and hung up again. When you turned back to the woman sitting beside her you could tell she was holding back her excitement. “That was the sweetest conversation I’ve ever heard. That sounded like it was straight out of a story!”, she realized what she said and quickly apologized again, “Sorry! I didn’t mean to eavesdrop!” “It’s no problem, we all do it sometimes.”, you tried to control the blush that was creeping across your face but it was near impossible. “I bet he’ll propose to you soon.”, she said and looked back at her baby, “I hope he does.” “Thank you.”, you smiled and looked down at the baby, who was staring back up at you. You waved at the child and he let out a gurgling laugh that had your heart melting. Today was certainly a special day.

You and the woman just happened to get off by the same stop so you helped her get her grocery bags out of the cart. When you saw Shoto standing by himself you waved and called his name. He turned to you and smiled softly, almost longlingly. “He’s handsome too... wow, you’re lucky.”, she smiled to you, “Thank you for the help, miss.” “No problem!”, you smiled back and watch her walk away before turning your attention to the man walking towards you. “I haven’t seen you all day.”, he embraced you with a sigh. Hugs were normal for the two of you, but absolutely not in public. Your body stiffened in shock before settling in his arms and hugging him back. Eventually he let go of you and took a step back. “Who was that woman? Do I know her?”, he asked. “No, I just met her on the train. Let’s get home, it’s freezing out here!”, you said and took his arm in yours.

The two of you walked in silence, as you usually did, but there was one thing that was running around in your mind. “Do you ever think of having children?”, you asked out of the blue, your breath forming white clouds in the cold air. Shoto stopped in his tracks and looked at you. It wasn’t until then you had realized what you had said, maybe not directly but the question was floating around your heads. “Children, huh?”, Shoto took a deep breath. You peered up at him through your eyelashes, afraid that he’d look disgusted or even scared. He didn’t. His mind was somewhere else, you could tell by the far away look in his eyes. Shoto’s face was dusted pink but, just like yours, you couldn’t tell if it was because he was flustered or cold. “I’ve never thought about it, actually.”, he looked at you which made you look away, “Not against the thought of it though. Let’s talk it through some other time.” He said it so casually. As if this was obvious and not a huge step in a relationship. Then he just kept walking. If it wasn’t for your arm that was still wrapped around his, you would’ve forgotten to walk along with him.  “Don’t be embarrased about it, please.”, he said suddenly, “It’s good to bring up these things.” “I just thought about it... you know... the woman on the train and everything...”, you muttered. “Sweetheart.”, there was the nickname again, “I told you not to be embarrased about it.” After a few years you’d think he wouldn’t be able to make you weak in the knees anymore. That was wrong. You hummed in response to what he said and leaned your head against his shoulder. There was an urge in you to feel a sudden intimacy between the two of you and that was the first thing that came to mind. “Are you cold?”, he asked. “Not extremely...”, you looked up at the clear sky, “... maybe it’s not the best time for cold soba though.” “It’s always a good time for cold soba.”, he answered, completely serious but you still laughed. You laughed because it sounded like him. You laughed because it would ease the excitement stuck in your stomach from what he had said before. You laughed because at that moment you felt so incredibly wonderful - and who wouldn’t laugh at that?

When you got home you made yourself a cup of tea while Shoto stuck to heating up by the radiator. “Are you sure you still want cold soba? We could always make warm soba.”, you suggested as you poured the hot water into your cup. “I say we make cold soba.”, Shoto shrugged as he kept his hands on the warm radiator. His nose was still red from the cold. “Then we make cold soba.”, you nodded.

After eating and cleaning up you sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. Since you usually sat with a bit of space in between the two of you, you did so. However, this time Shoto scooched closer to you and put your head on his shoulder, only to then wrap his arm around your shoulders. “Is this okay?”, he asked quietly to not disturb the show playing. You could care less about the show, your heart was beating loud enough for you to not even hear it. No words would come out of your mouth so you hummed as an answer to his question. He had been acting very lovingly the entire night, something that he didn’t always do.  “Are you okay, Shoto?”, you asked suddenly, “Did something happen at work?” “Why do you ask?” “You just seem... more cuddly?”, you looked up at him, catching him staring but he didn’t look away. “I just missed you then I guess.”, he said, “... and you sent me that picture and that wasn’t very fair.” He looked away and now he couldn’t blame the cold on his reddened face. That’s how you remembered your sweater that you had bought. “Right the sweater!”, you exclaimed, “Can I show you?” “Sure.”, he said and watched you get up, “You seem very excited about this sweater.” “Yes! And you should be too, because now I won’t be stealing yours anymore!”, you took your bag and walked over to the bathroom. “But I like it when you wear my clothes...” “Then...I won’t be stealing your clothes as often anymore!”, you smiled before closing the bathroom door behind you.

You walked out of the bathroom, dressed just like you were in the picture, and walked up to him. He looked over at you, looked you up and down, and then stood up. “What do you think?”, you smiled as he pulled you closer by your waist so that you could wrap your arms around his neck. “I like it more when you wear my clothes... but this is also very nice.”, he leaned down and kissed you quick, “Let’s go have that talk about having children...”, he whispered and started guiding you to the bedroom.

-

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[maxineswritingcenter]

You Saved Me - Derek Hale x fem!reader part 24

--------------

2004 

“We lay to rest a beloved member of the community. A mother. A friend. A daughter. A wife. Claudia Stilinski...” We stood on the lawn of Beacon Hills Memorial Cemetery, watching Aunt Claudia’s casket being lowered into the ground. She had been sick for so long and it was starting to turn ugly... But she was in a better place now, that’s what Uncle Noah said. When he spoke at least. I looked past the grieving people, like Ms. McCall, Scott, the entire police department, and looked at Stiles. He looked so tired. His cheeks were tear stained and his eyes were red from crying. 

Once people started to disperse, my parents and I made our way over to Uncle Noah and Stiles. While the adults talked, Stiles and I just continued to stare at the grave. The grounds keepers were starting to cover her body with dirt. 

“Do you want me to spend the night tonight?” I whispered, reaching over and holding his hand. 

Stiles shook his head, chewing on the inside of his cheek, “I want to be alone tonight.” He gave my hand a squeeze.

“Wouldn’t tonight be the worst time to be alone?” 

“I just want to be at home with my dad. I need some time for myself.” 

“(Y/N).” We both turned at my father’s voice, “Let’s go, sweetie.” We both looked back at the grave.

“Okay. Well, call if you change your mind.” I gave his hand a squeeze before letting it slip away. 

We got into the car, making our way back home. 

“How you holding up, sweetie?” Mom turned back and looked at me over the sink. 

“I don’t want to be alone tonight.” I said, looking out the window.

“Well, you don’t have to.” Dad said, “We’ll get into our pjs and watch Disney movies. You know how much Aunt Claudia loved Disney movies.” 

I swallowed thickly, “Actually... I was hoping that I could go to see the Hales. If that’s okay.” Dad sighed loudly and mom smacked him subtly. 

“Sure, baby.” Mom said, a sad smile on her face, “I’ll call Talia when we get home.” 

-

When I was dropped off at the Hales’, Talia welcomed me with open arms, a blanket, and a hot chocolate. I guess what I needed was away from the whole situation. We played games, Laura braided my hair, we made friendship bracelets. At the end of the night, Laura and Cora had fallen asleep to the movie we had been watching and Derek had snuck us both onto the roof of the Hale house. We were on our back, looking up at all the stars in the sky and the moon shining down on us. We had been in silence for a while until Derek cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“So, uh, are you excited for high school next year?” 

I sighed and shook my head, “After today? I don’t think I’ll be ready for anything.”

“Yeah...” He turned on his side to face me, “I’m sorry about your aunt. I know she was important to you.” 

“Thanks...” I turned, “I guess I’m just kinda worried about everything. I don’t know what life is going to be like without her. And I’m worried about Stiles too.” 

“I bet. I don’t know what I would do if I lost my mom.” He said. Then, he reached out and grabbed my hand, “Whenever you feel like this again, let me know. You can come over and we can do this again. Whatever you need, I’ll be there.” 

I smiled, a slight blush to my cheeks that I really hoped was hidden in the dark, “Thanks, Derek.” 

“Of course.” He smiled, “It’s what friends do.” 

-

The communication with Beacon Hills was slim to none. And, ya know, that didn’t feel great. I understood that everyone was busy living their lives whether it was being a high school student or fighting supernatural beings or being a supernatural being or the sheriff in a town full of both. But unanswered texts and calls were starting to get to me. 

The ones I got weren’t great either though. Stiles occasionally sent me a long email about the events that had happened since long distance calls weren’t in the phone plan. 

I had learned more about the alpha pack - a blind one, a woman who could definitely use a manicure, a strong man, and twins who could morph into each other. I was almost a little happy I didn’t have to deal with that. 

All the betas were missing except Isaac who had stayed behind. Even if he did get in trouble every now and then. 

And then missing turned into dead. Hearing that Erica was dead really hit me hard. I barely knew the girl, a few moments and quick chats usually didn’t mean that much. But they found her locked in a closet, rotting. It was horrifying. She was a child. She was finally enjoying her life - a new life without seizures and bullying, her parents had taken her to get pictures taken; happy to see that their little girl loved herself for the first time. Now she was gone. 

They found Boyd alive, thankfully. And surprisingly, they had found Derek’s sister: Cora. 

Not forgetting that there were flocks of animals committing mass suicide and kids turning up murdered. It seems home is getting more and more dangerous. Not only was there an alpha pack but there was a creature called a Darach, a dark druid. 

The leader of the alpha pack, Deucalion, was trying to get Derek to join his pack. He also wanted me to join as well, apparently he had been asking where I was. To join, he would have to kill the betas. Derek, who I’m sure was done being manipulated, refused. To keep him safe, Derek kicked Isaac out of the depot to live with Scott. 

Speaking of dead...

Even thousands of miles away, the vision of falling three stories still hurt as much as if I was actually there. A battle between the alphas, Derek and Scott. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if Derek was alive or dead. Every little message I thought to him just echoed in my head. I had cried, tried forcing myself to work through it. But nothing really worked. I still woke up in the middle of the night, naked on the castle grounds having shifted my feelings or else I was instinctually trying to search for him. First it was anger, next it was denial, then more anger. And that was all just last night. 

Hell, not even forgetting to mention the fact that the test Lachlan ran on me was a little more than just a blood panel. They checked for human chorionic gonadotropin hormone aka the pregnancy hormone. And things were just getting better and better. Because it was positive. I am pregnant. And the father may be dead. 

-

Sending a preemptive long distance fee to Stiles’ PayPal account, I called the house phone. It didn’t have caller ID but it was something. Michael didn’t think it was a good idea, however, it was gonna be a cold day in Hell before I listened to his double agent ass. Lachlan thought I deserved closure. And I trusted him more. 

“Stilinski residence.” Stiles’ voice was a little scratchy, but still loud and clear. 

“Stiles, if you hang up on me I swear you will live to regret it. I still have access to your secret YouTube channel.” There was a pause on the other end, then a sigh. 

“Hey (Y/N). I was wondering why I got an email from my PayPal."

 "Is there a reason I've been on everyone's pay no mind list? Because it's starting to piss me off."

"Well... Derek said that we shouldn't worry about or get you stressed out."

"So not talking to me for months is supposed to help?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Uh... Ya got me there."

I groaned and started tapping my foot, "I just...." My mind seemed to go blank, my heart rate going up. That's not right. I wasn't doing anything to make it spike like this.

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry, I wish I could contact you more. But there's a lot going on here with the alpha pack and Lydia and-and Derek-"

"Shit." I wheezed, sitting down on the bed. My body felt so warm and not in the way it normally would.

"Yeah I know, it's a lot right now-" His voice was drowned out by my senses taking over. It was the familiar warmth of intimacy. But not from me. It was Derek! He was alive. But he was with someone. And that someone-

He was kissing her. Touching her. His heart racing. Her touch set his skin ablaze and nothing else mattered. Not even the wounds on his body that nearly killed him. But all that mattered was her intoxicating touch. The touch of a woman he didn’t know. But her whole being enveloped him.  

I screamed loudly in anger, but behind that anger was so much pain. My chest ached and felt like it was being pulled across the world. I dropped the phone, holding my chest.

"(Y/N)? (Y/N)! What's wrong?!" My breathing was erratic and my thoughts were going wild between what had just happened and what I was thinking and what I had to do from here. I felt so helpless and alone. What could I do?

Then... There was an answer. Maybe it was the stress? Maybe it was my raging hormones? But I had my answer.

I picked the phone back up.

"(Y/N)! Talk to me, what's going on?"

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, "Derek’s alive."

"He is?"

"But not for long." I hung up.

How dare he? HOW COULD HE? AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH OUR ENTIRE LIVES AND HE JUST- JUST THROWS IT ALL OUT? And for what? Who could have been more important than me? I'm his stupid mate for Christ's sake.

But if he wants to sleep around?

Fine.

Fine.

He could for the next thirteen hours. Because I'm going back to Beacon Hills for the soul purpose of ripping his heart out like he did mine. And if this emotional trauma affected my child? Well, there were repercussions for that too.

-

Michael and Lachlan were in my room, watching me as I threw together a bag to take on the plane. Remarkably, as a member of the Lunar Circle I would get free airfare courtesy of Lachlan mostly because the guy was insanely rich and he agreed with my revenge plot, for the most part.

"Okay, let's think rationally here." Michael said, taking things out of my bag as I was putting them in, "He's a total douche bag for doing this. We all agree. But in your state, I don't think you should fly. I mean anything could happen."

"I can fly until I'm thirty-six weeks along." I said curtly, grabbing my things out of his hands and putting them back in the bag.

"Come on, think about what you're doing-"

"I have thought about it. And I'm going to kill him."

Michael looked back at Lachlan who had his arms crossed over my chest, only observing.

"A little help here, Praetor McLeod?"

Lachlan shrugged, "Seems justified to me."

"Murder? Murder seems justified to you." He asked incredulously.

"It's the werewolf way." Lachlan said simply.

"Thank you, Lachlan." I smiled.

"Anytime."

"Okay, what about this?" Michael stood in front of my path to my bag, "Murdering him seems like a great idea right now, I totally get it. But-but if you do that, it will weigh heavily on your conscience."

"The Lunar Circle has excellent insurance, including therapy." Lachlan chimed in.

I moved Michael out of the way, "Duly noted."

Michael sputtered, "And-and your baby? What about your baby? That's their dad."

"Their dad who decided to stick his penis in another woman." I raised my eyebrows at him, "That one? Yeah, what a stand up guy."

“But you love him. Don’t you think killing him-”

“Michael!” I slammed my suitcase shut, “Shut up.” I turned and faced both of them, “You’re right, okay? I do love him, which is the worst part. I hate him so much but I still love him. I dedicated my life to him and I thought he had dedicated himself to me. I was wrong.” I zipped the bag and made my way out the door, “I’ll be back at the end of the week.”

-

Getting on the plane didn’t take long. Relatively short lines, quick ticket, fast boarding. Like someone was looking out for me as I went to kick Derek's ass. Becoming alpha to Derek's pack was starting to sound better and better as the pain continued to radiate through my body. Eventually, I just felt numb.

The people on the plane were nice. I sat next to an older gentleman who slept for the most part so I could whisper profanities under my breath. The stewardess had been kind, making sure I had enough to drink. It seems someone had tipped them off I was pregnant, probably Michael. The guy had been a nervous wreck since he found out I was pregnant. He wouldn’t even let me train, not like he had much of a choice in what I did. But he sure knew how to annoy me out of a room. Lachlan had been supportive, talking about adding an additional room onto mine for a nursery. I told that it wasn’t necessary since I wouldn’t be staying in Scotland that long. 

After the plane landed, I was met by a very tired looking Stiles. We didn’t speak much, just began the drive back home. 

"So...." He swallowed, his eyes darted from me to the road ahead, "Pregnant," He chuckled nervously, "That-that's great! I'm so happy for you.” He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. He was hesitating, he wanted to say something else, “Uh...Speaking of-” I groaned loudly, another lecture. 

He ignored my dramatics, “Maybe you shouldn't kill him. That's not good for the baby..." 

“It wasn’t good for the baby when he decided to take our bond, step on it and rub it in the dirt.” He was silent, but not for long.

"Yeah-but you see we kinda need Derek to help with some big bads. Like Deucalion and the Darach and ya know, other stuff." 

"I remember you telling me about it. I tried to do some research but Lachlan said that we didn’t have too much information on them.” 

“Well that’s not too helpful.” 

-

We made it back to the house at sunset, which was perfect timing. The cover of night would be great to conceal me in the dark. Sure, he would smell my scent but he would have no idea where I was coming from. I pulled on the handle on the door but stared at it when it didn’t budge. Still locked. I looked back at Stiles. He looked tired, a wreck.

“Would you just... See dad before you cover yourself in blood? He was really excited to hear you were coming home.” Like he always seemed to be, Stiles’ was right. I should see Uncle Noah. 

“I will. I need to rest anyway. Besides, I can’t kill him on an empty stomach.” I winked.

“You terrify me.” He unlocked the doors. We got out just in time for Uncle Noah to jog down the driveway. 

“There she is!” He grinned, wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight. 

“I missed you so much.” I said into his shirt, giving him a soft squeeze. He pulled away and looked over me, “Look at you.” He motioned to my stomach that looked more like I was bloated than a fetus growing inside of me, “This-this is... Mhm. Exciting!” 

I chuckled, “Thanks. Very mhm.” 

“Uh, you hungry?” 

“Starving.”

-

Dinner had been extremely awkward, the conversation mostly coming back to the child growing inside of me. Lots of questions from both of them. Mostly how I hadn't called. In actuality I had called approximately twenty times a day with no answer from anyone per Derek's request. Unfortunately for him, his requests were now being put on the back burner. I excused myself to my room.

My room was kept the same, I'm certain no one had been inside besides Uncle Noah. And from the ruffled blankets, maybe Stiles. Back when we were kids, we used to sneak scary movies and had to sleep in a huddled pile because we were too scared to sleep by ourselves. 

I grabbed a jacket and opened up my window, I was half way out of it when my door opened. Stiles stood in the doorway. We stared at each other for a minute. 

“I may regret saying this one day because I don’t care for Derek, but don’t kill him.” He said, “Kick the living shit out of him, sure. Get in a few punches for me. But don’t kill him. We need him.” Of course, all it took was Stiles to talk me off the murder-ledge. 

“I won’t kill him.” I smiled, “I’ll be home soon.”

-

Odds are, with the alpha pack threat Derek will have the depot protected. What he failed to remember was that the most dangerous being in the world had a key to every place in the depot. I simply walked in the front door. Almost like he was expecting me.

His scent was so strong, like the forest after it rained. It made this ball of emotion well up in my chest bringing me back to all the love and memories we had shared together. Not all the memories were life and death. They weren't all fights. Some days, Derek and I would curl up and bed and never leave, only grabbing food here and there. His smile would light up his whole face, sometimes it would even reach his green eyes and make them sparkle. When he would nap, he would lay his head on my chest and sleep, like he was finally at peace with himself and the world. That was the person I loved. 

I walked through the main room at the depot, getting to the stairs. The worst part here was the pictures, us together, the pack. I want to make the depot less abandoned and more homey for the betas to have a place to go and relax. Some of the pictures had turned heads at the photo developing counter (but I had managed to convince them that it was for a theater class). The worst part was that on my way here Boyd had been killed. If only I had been here soon, if only I had been here at all. Only two of the pack remained, Isaac and Jackson who was no longer a killer lizard thanks to Lydia. Say what you will about Peter Hale but sometimes he knew what he was talking about.  

If Derek knew I was here, he hadn’t tried to make a move. Smart. 

After wandering a bit, I finally decided to face the music. I found him hunched over his desk in the main office room. Rain was dancing against the fluorescent lights from the street lamps down below. He hadn’t looked up at me the whole time that I walked up to him. He felt defeat and alone. He had lost everything. He was looking down at his desk, his hands laced together. He looked up slightly, more looking at my shirt than my face. 

“I...” His voice was soft and quiet, something unlike the loud, booming man I was used to, “I messed up.” 

“Yeah, you did.” It was silent for a moment, then he spoke again. 

“Who’s with you?” He asked, his eyes scanning the room. 

I narrowed my eyes at him, “No one.” 

“Then why do I hear another heart-” His eyes widened. He stared directly at my stomach. I thought I almost saw his ears perk up. 

“Are you...”

“I am. I’m having a baby. Emphasis on the ‘I’m’.” I really hadn’t wanted to do much talking, I really hadn’t planned on saying anything besides obscenities and screaming at him. He stood up from the desk and quickly came around, he reached his hand out towards my stomach but I smacked it away. 

“You have no right to touch me. Especially when I can still smell her stench on you.” I scrunched up my nose and sneered. 

“Look,” He licked his lips, “I can’t give you a good answer or an excuse-”

“Good, because I don’t want one.” I glared. 

He looked at me a moment then continued, “I don’t know why I did what I did. Something just came over me. Please tell me you believe me.” He put his hand on my shoulder. 

He really should have taken a lesson out of his own book. With amazing speed, I grabbed him by the throat and threw him across the room. When he landed, my features shifted and my eyes glowed red. He groaned, holding at his waist. That’s where he had been injured in the alpha fight, it had healed but it was still sore. 

“I don’t want your apologies.” I growled, walking towards him, “I want you to feel what I felt. The pain and the suffering. The violation...” I chuckled darkly, “You know that I felt her hands on you? Touching the most private parts of your body that only I was supposed to feel. Do you know how disgusting I felt afterwards? I felt used and dirty and it wasn’t even my body.” I stepped on his chest with my boot to keep him down on the ground. He still wasn’t looking at me. I snarled, grabbing him by his shirt and shoving him against the concrete pillar he landed on. 

“Look at me!” I roared, “You broke me into a million little pieces. You didn’t answer my calls.” I punched him. 

“You kept me hidden in the dark about Erica’s death.” I hit him again. 

“You wouldn’t let my family communicate with me and when they did they couldn’t even tell me everything that was going on. I was begging to hear from someone, anyone, I was all alone!” I threw him across the room. 

“You blocked my number two months ago.” I stalked over to him, ignoring the tears running down my face, “I couldn’t even hear your voice on your goddamn voicemail!” I got down on my knees and grabbed his chin so that his eyes met mine. 

“LOOK AT ME!” I screamed, “Look what you did to me! For months you’ve been using our bond for your own strength, strength that used used to heal and have sex with another woman!” My voice was starting to crack as all the things I had thought about were coming out, “See how much my heart broke when I felt how happy you were with someone other than me.” He was finally looking at me. The worst thing though was that his eyes were full of so much love for me, that special twinkle that Peter said only happened when he looked at me. I wasn’t angry anymore, I was devastated. 

“I came here to kill you.” I sniffled, my features shifting back to normal, “I wanted to tear your heart out. But I can’t... I can’t because I love you and I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I shouldn’t have hurt you, but I want to because of what you did.” As the anger fogged cleared, I realized that I was just as bad as he was. 

“You had every right to hurt me-”

“No, I didn’t. I shouldn’t have hurt you. I’m sorry.” I looked down at my hands, “I felt so out of control. I thought I was getting better at it.” 

“You were.” Derek sat up slowly, “It’s the baby. All of your emotions are going to be heightened. More than usual.” 

“It doesn’t matter.” I made my way towards the exit, not caring that he was calling after me, running to catch up to me. I just left him there. Even when I got home and he tried to get into my window, I just ignored his pleading. What I did wasn’t right, I shouldn’t have hit him or punched him. I was just so angry and that anger clouded my vision. 

Weren’t we a pair - one cheats and the other goes into a blind rage. Perfect. 

------------

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[all1e23]

Chocolate Dipped

Pairings: Sugar Daddy!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Steve has finally had enough of these two idiots. 

Warnings:  Angsty stuff. 

A/N:   I am feeling better! Just in time to make you guys cry for Christmas. This is in Steve’s POV at the start. I think I grabbed everyon’s tags but I was pretty sick this week. If I forgot to add you please shoot me an ask and I’ll correct it today. Also, half edited. I got lazy. lol If you like it come sing me a song, write me a story or scream at me!  This is the sixth part of my series Sugary Sweet. Make sure you catch up!

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!***

“You goin’ home tonight, buck?” 

Steve hung around the doorway to Bucky’s office, hovering like a worried parent. The small room was lived in. Two weeks have passed since they attended Stark’s gala, and Bucky made it a point to work himself to death every single day since. There were cartons upon cartons of takeout, guest pillows from his penthouse on the leather couch that sat under the large windows on the south wall, and Steve caught Bucky wearing the same white button-up three days in a row. 

Bucky was avoiding something, and Steve had a decent idea of what that ‘something’ was. 

“Hm?” Bucky mumbled, barely looking up from his computer as he did. “Uh, no. Not tonight. I want to get this done for the Danvers account.” 

Steve sighed as he spun his keys around his fingers, debating how far he could push this before he drove Bucky away. 

“We have people who do that now, Buck. Go home and get some sleep. Wash your hair.” 

To Steve’s delight, Bucky looked up, humor lighting up his eyes and smile curling up the corners of his mouth. 

“You sayin’ I look bad, Stevie?” 

Steve forced through his concern long enough to grin. 

“I’m saying you haven’t been home since you broke up with Y/n. Are you ever going to tell me what happened?”

Bucky’s smile fell the moment Steve said her name, and his eyes fell back on his computer. He wasn’t going to talk about Y/n or their arrangement. There was nothing to say. It was never a real relationship as much as Bucky wanted it to be, so there was no reason to treat it as such. 

“I don’t have anything to say about it. There was no break-up. It was a temporary situation, and it’s passed. Let’s all move on with our lives.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Goodnight, Steven.”

The quiet tug of the door and the hitch of the latch echoes in Bucky’s empty office, leaving him alone in the darkened building. He knew Steve was trying to help, but Steve wasn’t. Bucky didn’t need to be babysat. He needed to go back to that coffee shop, pay for your coffee, and walk away before he let his heart fall yours. Yeah, he knew sulking in his office wasn’t going to fix anything, but he couldn’t face going home. Your toothbrush was still hanging next to his, that drawer in his dresser was full of your clothes, and there was the picture of the two of you resting on the nightstand. Taking down the pictures in his office was bad enough; at least here, the sheets didn’t smell like you.

It has been weeks when the hell was he going to get over you?

Bucky really hoped it would be soon. 

The bar was packed. No stool was empty, and the floor was full of kids half his age waiting for what was probably their first beer. Steve groaned. Dealing with grumpy Bucky and now this was completely unfair. The loud cheering made Steve wince as he pushed towards the middle of the crowd, it was hard to see through the crowd of twenty-year-olds, and he has never felt quite as old as he did at that moment. 

When did he become this grumpy old man? He blamed Bucky. 

Steve caught his wife’s whistle and grinned when he spotted her in one of those half booths that no one actually enjoys sitting at. 

“How is he?” 

Steve sighed and placed a kiss on her cheek as he squeezed into the seat next to her. That was a loaded question. He gripped his wife’s legs and pulled them over his lap, tucking her under his arm. Steve was going to make the most of the dollhouse-sized booth. 

“He’s… a mess. I know he misses her, but he won’t talk about it. I’m not sure what happened, but I don’t think it was a clean break like he’s making it sound.” 

“Do you think she left him?” 

He shook his head.  

No, Steve knew Bucky well enough to know guilt when he saw it. 

“I think Bucky didn’t speak up when he should have is what I think, and maybe she got tired of waiting to be more than a game.” 

Steve took a sip of Sharon’s red wine and made a face. She grinned and ran her fingers through his bread, scratching gently until he hummed softly and leaned into her touch.

“Well, I think,” Sharon whispered, watching the sleepy smile tug at Steve’s lips. “We are stuck sitting at the bar. The dining room is full of what appears to be teenagers. Somehow when we weren't looking, we became the oldest people in the room. It's a tiny booth or share a table with strangers.” 

“That’s alright. We can stay right here.” Steve nudged her chin up with two fingers and smiled. “I like being stuck with you.” 

“You think that sweet talk is going to get you somewhere?” 

“Pretty confident. Bucky taught me all I know."  

Steve grinned and pecked her lips.

A loud voice interrupted Steve’s train of thought and he couldn't help but listen in. 

“Look, if fancy man bun can’t see how awesome you are, then you don’t need to waste your time on him.” Steve tried to fight his smile. Whoever that was, he wouldn’t mind sharing a table with them.

“But… I think I love him.”

Steve froze when he heard your voice, and he subtly peeked over his shoulder to find you sitting at a table nearby. You weren’t alone. There was a blond guy he didn’t know, his arm was around your redheaded friend that scared the life out of him sometimes, Nat he was pretty sure, and another red-haired woman he didn’t know. He turned back around before you caught him spying, and he tried to listen over the boisterous shouts and loud, obnoxious music.

This was getting ridiculous. He was getting too old to go to places like this.

“And that sucks,” The guy continued."He’s shit for dragging you along because he knew how you felt. Everyone knew. I’m not saying marry Johnny Lightning--”

You were talking about Bucky.

“Storm.”

“Storm. Whatever. I’m not saying marry him, but it will help take your mind off the asshole who broke your heart.”

“First of all, I only know his name. I don’t have his number because I don’t want to go out with him, Clint. I don’t want anyone else. Can we just stop talking about this, please? It’s bad enough you drug me out of my nice warm bed and made come here. Please stop talking about Bucky.”

“I wasn’t going to let you hide in bed for the rest of your life,” The woman -- Nat, said with a hint of venom in her voice. “I wish you would have talked to him like I told you to. Something is off about this whole thing.”

“I didn’t have time! Things were over before I realized they were.”

“You could go talk to him now?”

“What’s the point? He’s obviously done with whatever we were. I haven’t heard from him in days.”

Bucky was the one that broke up with you? Steve hadn’t expected that, but perhaps he should have.

Steve fidgeted enough to wiggle his phone out of his pocket, silently quieting Sharon before she could make a fuss and draw your attention. He snapped a picture over his shoulder, even though he shouldn’t. You were staring at rose necklace Bucky gave you in Boston while your friends chatted amongst themselves, your eyes were red and puffy like you had been crying non-stop for days. You looked incredibly lonely for someone sitting in the middle of a crowded bar and surrounded by friends.

He dropped the image into a message and sent it off to Bucky.

“I’ll be right back. Stay here.”

Steve placed a kiss on Sharon’s head and slid out of the booth, smiling at her confusion. He walked straight to your table and stopped next to you, making a point to get his shoes and black dress pants in your line of vision. You looked up, and your fingers slipped off the necklace, your mouth fell open and stuttered incoherently.

“Y/n, I think we should talk.”

-----------------------

Across town, Bucky sat in his office, still sitting at his desk hours after Steve left him only now he was staring at his phone instead of his computer. Bucky hasn’t been able to look away from the damn thing since Steve’s text came in over twenty minutes ago. You looked good. Great. A little sad, maybe, but beautiful. He read Steve’s words one more time, and his heart clenched again.

She doesn’t look like someone who moved on. I think you left a few things out of the story.

So he did leave some things out. It was his right to leave out whatever he wanted to. Steve didn’t need to know why things didn’t work out. It wouldn’t change the outcome.

“Hi.”

Bucky’s fingers shook at the sound of your voice, so much so he dropped his phone back onto his desk. You stood in the doorway to his office, fidgeting and uncomfortable. You were still in that little black dress you were wearing in the photo, so you must have come straight from the bar. Bucky slowly leaned back in his chair, his eyes glued to yours.  

“Hi… what are you doing here? How did you get in?”

You looked guilty, and Bucky had to fight back a grin.

“Steve gave me his ID.”

You held up a little white card as an explanation and gave him that same shy, nervous smile you gave him when he offered to pay for your coffee all those months ago. Steve could never just mind his own damn business. Nosy little punk. 

Bucky should probably thank him for meddling this one time -- depending on how the rest of this night goes.

“Of course, he did.”

You took a few steps in, just enough that you could place the card on Bucky’s desk a keep your distance. Bucky watched your eyes scan his desk for your missing pictures, and he wanted to jump in and tell you they were on the bookshelf behind him now. They were hard to look at it all the time now. He saw relief flood you as you spotted them.

He still didn’t understand why you were here.

“Is everything okay, sweet girl?”

The name just slipped out. Bucky hadn’t meant it to. You weren’t… well, you weren’t anything anymore, and he didn’t have a right to call you pet names, but he couldn’t help it. Bucky wanted to call his sweet girl forever. Would have, too, if only the stars had aligned the way Bucky had wanted.

Bucky watched you as hesitated. You took a step forward and then stopped as if you were trying to decide where to go, towards him or out the door. He saw the conflict in your eyes as you fought with yourself, and then you stood up taller with your shoulders squared, having made your choice. You strode towards Bucky with determination, walking around his desk, and Bucky pushed off from his feet, letting his chair roll back enough to give you the space you needed-- wanted.

He hoped it was what you wanted.

Bucky didn’t move or make a sound. Just held his breath and waited.

You sank down on his lap, straddling his waist as you’ve done during the hundreds of times you’ve visited him in his office. Bucky waited until you settled comfortably, and his hands came up to wrap around you and rest against your backside. Your own find their favorite spot tangled in his hair, and the tears catching in your lashes were caught right away.

It took every ounce of strength he had not to lean in and kiss those tears away.

“You left.” You whimpered. “Just disappeared and stopped talking to me like we were never… something.”

Bucky’s heart twisted into something dark and ugly. He hadn’t thought there was much to say. Things had been off since he came home from Boston, and then that boy, he didn’t think there was anything left after that.

“I thought--” Bucky’s arms tightened around you, fingers pressed into your skin as he forced himself to admit what he was scared of since he first met you -- you didn’t really want him. 

“I thought maybe you liked that kid from the gala. He's closer to your age and… he could be someone who wants the same things you want. I didn’t want you to feel like you were stuck with me if you didn’t want-- if this was temporary. I thought that’s what you wanted.”  

“No, that’s not what I want.”

Bucky swiped his thumb under your right eye, wiping away the tears he could no longer stand to see. He didn’t know how to ask if you loved him or how to tell you that he wanted more, but this? He knew this. Bucky’s spent the last eight months asking you want you wanted and doing everything he could to give it to you.

He could do this.

“What do you want, babygirl? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

There was only one thing you wanted.

“I want you to love me,” you choked out in a desperate, hopeless plea. “I want you to love me like I love you. I want you to be in love with me.”

“Oh, baby.”

Bucky cupped the back of your neck and let the other rest on your back, firmly holding you in place on his lap. This was something he should have said months ago.

“I’ve been in love with you for months. Maybe since I bought you that first cup of coffee and you looked at me with those sweet lips and pouty eyes. You’ve had my love, sweet girl.”

You sniffed and took a breath, your bottom lip still trembling as you twisted over his words.

“But-- I, I heard you telling you Sharon you didn’t want a future with me.”

Bucky’s nose crinkled, and his brow furrowed. “What? What are you talkin’ about, baby?”

“In Boston. That night you were drinking at the bar. I came down to… to see you, and you said you didn’t want a family right now and not with me.”

Bucky was smiling, and he could tell by your pout you were about to jump off his lap because of it. He couldn’t help it. This was good. The best news he has heard in weeks. This was all because he was an idiot, and he could fix that. He could stop being an idiot. Bucky took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around your waist, letting the chair lean back all the way, so you fell against his chest, and your feet came off the floor just enough to make you unstable if you tried to get up on your own.

He needed you to stay put a little longer, and if you wanted to leave after he said his peace, he would let you go.

"Did you hear what I said after that?”

“No," you squeaked. “I ran back up to our-- your room.”

“Our room.” He corrected.

"Our room." You amended. "Then you came up and we-- Well, we made-- we..."

Bucky didn't need you to say anymore. He remembered. Bucky absolutely remembered making love to you. He held you against him and carefully explained what really happened that night.

“I did say that, but that wasn’t what I meant. It came out all wrong, and you'll be happy to know Steve and Sam would beat my ass to defend you without a second thought. What I meant and what I explained to them that night was I wanted to wait until you were ready for all that because if I’m going to do all that? Get married and have kids; I only want to do it with you.”

You groaned and thumped your head against his chest. “Why is Nat always right? She said you didn’t mean it. That it was a mistake.”  

Bucky chuckled quietly. His fingers gently rubbed at your scalp, and his lips found your skin, pressing soft kisses to your temple. “Probably because she could see it written on my face. According to Sam, I look like a lovesick idiot every time you’re near me.”

Forcing yourself to lift your head, you met his eyes and whispered,” Bucky, I do love you, and I don’t want that dumb bellhop from Boston or any other guy. You’re all I want, but I’m not ready to get married right now. I know you are, and if you want all that right now-- I don’t know, okay? I graduate in May, and then I want to work and-- and --I don’t think I can--”

Bucky’s thumb settled over your lips, stopping your panic.

“I know, and that’s why I said I wanted to wait. Let you find your footing in a new job and get yourself settled there before we even talk about it. I wanted to tell you all this in Boston. Tell you how much you mean to me. How you’re all, I think about, every damn day and the nights that I’m not with you are like torture.”

Your eyes twinkled with someone Bucky didn’t like, and his cheeks warmed right away.

“So that was the whole picnic thing? And renting out the skywalk?”

Bucky nodded sheepishly.

“I might have chickened out. I was worried you didn’t feel the same, and I wasn’t ready to lose you.”

One thing was certain; you were made for each other. You were both idiots.

“So, you do see a future with me?” You asked, nerves showing through your shaky voice. You needed to be sure. You couldn’t go through all that again. 

“You weren’t just changing the subject with sex every time?”

Bucky barked out a laugh, the chair under you shaking from the force of it. You pursed your lips. He didn’t have to laugh so hard. It was a serious question. Bucky gave your hip an apologetic squeeze and shook his head.

“No, I didn’t mean to do that. It was incredibly sexy to hear you say you only wanted... me. You could have asked me for anything, and you just wanted me. I like that."

“It’s true, though. I don’t want any of that other stuff. You’re the only thing I want, Buck.”

Bucky’s eyes darkened, and his hand slipped under the hemline of your dress. “Somethin’ you want… right now?”

Your slender fingers gripped his wrist, and you shook your head. “Nope. What I want right now is to get you home, shower, and maybe sleep till late tomorrow. I haven’t-- I haven’t been sleeping great lately.”

The confession made Bucky remember how terrible he probably looked from his own sleeping habits over the past eighteen days. The last he saw in the bathroom mirror, the dark circles under his eyes, were getting pretty hard to hide. His beard was unkempt and thick and Steve wasn’t wrong about needing to wash his hair. He raised the arm you were still clutching and pressed a kiss to your fingers.

“This how it’s going to work from now on? Just goin’ tell me what to do all the time?”

“Yep. That’s how it works when I’m your girlfriend.”

Your eyes widen dramatically, and Bucky grins.

“I am… I mean, it’s okay I said that, right?”

“Well, you are my girl.”

Bucky can feel your tension deflate, and he really likes the smile on your face.

“Mmm, and you’re my sugar. My sweet fella.”

[itisannak]

Homesick (Calum Hood Smut)

Summary: Calum is on tour, and (Y/N) is having a hard time away from him.  (Smut / Unprotected Sex) Based on Sleep Prompt #2: "I can't sleep, you've been gone for too long." (Request) (Words: 3.7k)

This time was supposed to be easier. This time, Calum promised it would be so much easier. I would be living in our house, which would be full of our happy memories and that would make me feel better about him being away. I would be having Duke, whose company would make the days go by faster. But it was all bullshit.

This time is the absolute hardest of any time before. He is gone, and the house is empty and every corner holds a memory of us being happy, which makes it harder to overlook the fact that if he were here, we would create many more memories. And Duke is in an even worse state than me, whining and looking at the door for his pops to walk in.

It sucks; I know that the moment he is going to be back, all of this will faint from memory and I am only going to savor in the good times. But right now, this sucks. I feel like I am drowning in this house like I am suffocating while he is gone. Not because I can't live without him. I can, I have, I just don't want to. But the thing that bugs me the most is the thought of him being able to live without me, or realizing he can actually live without me. It is selfish, I know. But I don't want him to wake up one morning and realize his life will be fine or even better if I never woke up next to him again.

It drives me insane, to the point I have to drink myself to sleep, to the point of not sleeping anymore because I realized this is how addiction starts. And being addicted to Calum is enough addiction for a lifetime.

I pick my phone, scrolling through my contacts until I find his. My thumb hovers over the icon, my gut telling me that if I call him now, I will regret what I am about to say. Nonetheless, I press on the contact, putting him on loudspeaker and leaving my phone on my lap. He picks up fast, almost as he was waiting for that call. "(Y/N), princess... It is like 3 in LA. What are you doing up?" He asks me, his voice groggy. "You didn't call me." I point out, biting the inside of my cheek. "I was spent from all the traveling and then the show. I am sorry. I put an early alarm though, to call you in the morning and wake you up for work." He says with a familiar smile on his voice. I stay silent, my heartbeat throbbing in my brain. "What is going on, love?" He asks after a minute of dead silence. "I can't sleep. I can't sleep, you've been gone too long. I can't sleep, Calum. I drank myself to sleep too many times for this to be healthy. And I can't breathe, Calum. I can't breathe in this house. I miss you so much and you are gone. You are gone, god fucking damn it. You are gone for too long. And you don't call me anymore. You always have excuses, and you don't call anymore. I miss you, I can't sleep without you. I am a shell of myself nowadays and Duke is looking for you. He is behind the door, whimpering for you. And I don't know what to do. I have no idea what I should do. You are gone and I don't know if you'll be back again. And you lied to me. You lied to me, Calum. You said this was going to be easy and it isn't. And it hurts, it sucks. I don't know what to do. Please, tell me what I should do." I am sobbing by the end of my monologue, my lip quivering and my body trembling. My bones hurt and I am scared of what he is going to suggest. "You should go to sleep. We will talk tomorrow." He simply says; I can't read his tone, I can only tell his voice is significantly lower than before. "I am having a breakdown and you are telling me to go to sleep? You think sleeping is going to fix that hollowness inside me? Screw you, Calum. Fucking screw yourself. I am dying and you are telling me to go to sleep. I told you I can't sleep. You heard that, right?" I ask and hear him draw in a breath. "Go to sleep, baby. You are sleep-deprived and you need to rest. We will talk tomorrow." He says, still holding onto his calmness. "You think I will be different tomorrow? I have to go sleep on a bed that doesn't have your smell anymore, a bed that has been empty. You think I will be able to go to bed, lay there, and fall asleep?" I ask him, almost screaming at him with fury. "Then fucking sleep on the couch or in the guest room. I can't fucking help you more on that. We will talk tomorrow." He growls now, letting out his frustration as well. I chuckle through my tears, wiping away my cheeks. "Yeah, you can't fucking help, Calum." I reply, pressing the end button. I throw my phone across the couch, bringing my face to the cushion and crying on it.

He is going to break up with me. He doesn't want to upset me more now, but he is going to break up with me, I can feel it in my stomach. He is going to lay on his bunk bed now and think how easier it would be for him to just drop me already and live his life without me being a bitch about him being away. Fuck.

The night went by and the morning arrived, leaving me once more unable to rest. I feel like calling in sick, but going to work is the only thing that distracts me from the situation I am living in. So, I pulled up my big girl pants and got to work, hoping that whatever I would have to deal with today would actually allow me to take my mind off of Calum. But I found myself looking at my phone every five minutes, getting frustrated over its silence.

I walk in the house, finding Duke by the door, wagging his tail slowly at me. I reach down, petting him behind his ears before I drag my feet up to the couch, and plop my body on top of it. I feel numb, empty, hollow, and I am used to it by now, but today it is even worse. I am waiting for him to call, but I am too scared at the thought of what he might tell me. He is going to break up with me, I know he is, I am waiting for that, but I just don't want it to actually happen.

Time drips slowly, I can feel every minute passing. I have nothing to do but wait and waiting messes with my head.

I imagine him already moving on, finding someone new, having fun with that person who is not me. My paranoia is only growing bigger by the second, until my phone rings. I grab the phone, staring at Calum's caller ID. My heart stops as I contemplate whether or not I should pick it up. I don't want to lose him. "Hey." I say as I pick it up. "I don't have much time before I go on stage. Check your emails." He orders, making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion. "Are you breaking up with me over email?" I ask, stuttering. "It is a ticket for you to visit me this weekend." He replies, making me sigh a little. "I would never break up with you in any setting other than in person." He continues, making my eyes go wide. "Are you flying me over to break up with me?" I ask, putting on a fight to not stutter. "I have to go." He replies before hanging up. It is enough of an answer for me.

I open my emails, finding the digital print for my tickets. I sniffle, biting the inside of my cheek before I open Apple pay, sending Calum the money he paid for the tickets. If he is breaking up with me, I still get to keep my dignity.

I pulled a Princess Diana for the visit. First, I left the house, booking myself a hotel room to practically force myself to fall asleep. Duke is with Sierra; I told her I am visiting, but not the reason why. Sleeping did wonders for me; I look a little more human and I am thinking a little clearer now. I decided that if he is going to drop me, I am going to show him what he is going to miss from now on. Taking a whole flight in a tight dress and high heels certainly attracted a couple of stares. Yeah, I would stare too at the weird lady on my flight who's dressed to get dicked down. There was a driver waiting for me at the airport, with a cheesy sign that bared my last name in a boring font. I am not even worth him picking me up in person. The driver took me to a hotel, handed me a keycard for the room, and let me get up alone, to what I am sure will be the emptiest, most pathetic room. I wonder why he bothered with booking a room, he could have just done it in the lobby, or even outside the hotel. And I wonder why my return flight is not until Monday morning. Breaking up with me will only take him an hour maximum.

I go up in the room, unlocking the door and letting myself in, ready to play the waiting game until he arrives to give me the boot. "Welcome home, princess." I hear his voice coming from across the room. I raise my gaze to meet his figure, keeping my expression neutral for now. "Home?" I ask, leaving my carry-on on the ground before I walk further. "You were clearly homesick, even though you were staying at our home. So I figured, since you are my home, I must be yours. So, welcome home." He smiles at me. I scan his body; he is either pulling a Lady D on me, or he dressed up in his whitest shirt and best trousers by accident. "Cut the bullshit. We both know why I am here. Go ahead, say it." I provoke him, looking at him in the eye. "You look gorgeous." He states, licking his lips. "Yeah, yeah... Just break up with me already." I say frustrated, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion. "What?" He asks me, causing me to roll my eyes at him. "Come on, Calum. Be a man already. You told me you would never break up with me in any other setting but face to face. I am here, I am looking at you, and you are looking at me. So, go ahead and let it out." I throw my hands in the air; I am certain my face is bright red by now. "Why would I break up with you? I told you I would never break up with you over the phone. I didn't mean I would fly you here to break up with you. I thought you would break up with me." He points out, making me look at him in confusion now. "Why would I break up with you?" I ask. "Because I am always away. Why would I break up with you?" He asks me again. "Because I am always nagging and whining about you being away." I reply and he chuckles. "Not always. And you are not nagging. You had every right to tell me how you felt. Just because I signed up for that life, doesn't mean you did too." He replies, making me sigh and mentally slap myself in the face. "Well, I kinda did. I chose to be with you, I knew what I was getting myself into. And it really felt insignificant. Still does. I was just... I am sorry." I exasperate making him chuckle and pull me into a hug. "It is fine, baby. You don't need to apologize. You just missed me..." He strokes my cheek, making me look at my feet. "I am so stupid." I groan and he chuckles, tilting my chin up. "Love makes you stupid. I would know, it has made me an absolute buffoon." He strokes his thumb over my bottom lip. "You dressed up for me..." I mumble, placing my hands in the collar of his shirt. "And you dressed up for me..." He replies. "Meh... I dressed up for revenge. I thought you would be breaking up with me, I wanted to show off what you were giving up..." I shrug and he gasps. "Naughty little girl..." He mouths, leaning down to kiss me. I practically melt, and he has to hold onto me to prevent me from falling. I missed him, too much to put into words, but the moans falling from my mouth as he slips his tongue against mine.

His hands go to my lower back, feeling the fabric of my dress before they rest against my ass, first brushing over it and then just fondling, squeezing a bit harshly, enough to make me whimper and jolt. "You look so fucking hot..." I moan, pulling away to catch my breath. I throw my head back, giving him access to my neck as he brings his lips to my jawline. "Oh, yeah? You find me hot? Do I make you wet, princess?" He asks, grazing his teeth over my skin. I take his hand, bringing it under the hem of my dress. He trails his fingers up my thigh, making me erupt in goosebumps under his touch. He moves his hand to touch my core, pressing his fingers against my sex. "You are soaked, baby... Need me that much?" He asks me, making me grip onto him as he rubs my clit. "Now... I need you now... Please." I gasp, eyes closed and lips parted as I throw my head back in pleasure. "Yeah, baby? Well, you are lucky I need you just as bad..." He whispers, removing his hand slowly from between my thighs.

He kisses me as his body guides me to the bed, his hands holding onto me tightly. My back collides with the mattress, and he is still pressed against me, resting between my thighs as he pries my lips apart with his tongue. "You are hard..." I point out, feeling his cock pushing hard against my lower stomach. "I know... It's your outfit... And the fact that you smell so good... And that I have missed you... All of you." He mumbles, working his way down my neck. "All of me?" I ask, surrendering to the haze his breath fanning on my skin causes. "All of you, princess. Want me to show you?" He asks, moving his hands down my body. He strokes them over my hips softly, moving his fingers under the hem of my dress. He raises it up, letting it rest just below my navel. "Please do..." I mumble, making him smile at me. He moves up, bringing his lips to mine, kissing me roughly. "Let me ride you..." I whimper against his lips, my fingers tangling in his hair and pulling at it a little, taking advantage of what a big pain slut he is. "Go ahead, wildflower. I can't say no to you." He states, letting me flip us over, with him on his back and me straddling his hips. I grind my clothed core over the bulge in his pants, wiggling my hips on him. "Lower the strap of your dress, baby... Give me a little show." He suggests, licking his lips. "This one? Or this one? Or maybe both...?" I ask, playing with the straps of my dress. His eyes are glued on me as I unzip the dress and let it slide down my body. "Look at you... Fuck me, princess... You are going to be the death of me." He groans while I raise my dress off my body. "That's the endgame." I smirk at him, working on unbuttoning his shirt. My hands slide down his chest, feeling up his skin, getting enough satisfaction from just touching him. The tip of my nail traces over the tattoos on his chest and collarbone, mouth agape and eyes nearly burning into his skin. He groans, gripping onto my hips harshly, early impatient from my stalling. "Come on, princess. Let me slip inside you." He pleads, making me chill at the sound of his voice. "Yes, daddy." I cheer, leaning closer to him to kiss his neck. I reach down, unzipping his pants and lowering his briefs to free his cock, which now rests on his lower stomach. My brain goes fuzzy as I nearly drool over it. Fuck, I've missed sex with him.

I push my underwear to the side, lining him up to my entrance before I sink my hips down on him. I take in nearly half of his length, already feeling my stomach tighten as I ride him. "You are so fucking wet... Holy fuck..." He mumbles, the grasp on my hips still tight enough to leave a mark there. "Come on, princess. I know you can take more of me in your tight little pussy..." He encourages me, while I buckle my hips back and forth. "You are so big, daddy. You are stretching me..." I whimper, arching my back and pressing my hips down until all of his length is inside me. I shudder, angling my hips to get his tip to hit on my spot. "You fit so well around my cock, fuck..." He hisses, moving his hands until they cup my ass. His cock is throbbing inside me, his veins adding to the sensation building inside me. My hands move to his biceps, nails digging into them as they flex. I practically bounce on him, taking as much of him as I can, while he kneads and slaps my ass. He makes this orgasmic little sounds as we fuck that mess with my head, making me wiggle on him. "Come a little closer, princess." He says through raspy breaths. I lean down, until my chest presses to his, but he lifts it up and brings his lips to my chest. His mouth latches onto my nipple, making me cuss under my breath. "Fuck... Calum... Harder." I beg, grounding my hips on his, causing his cock to press on my cervix and myself to sink into the feeling of his cock stretching my walls and his teeth grazing over my bud. One of his hands travels up my spine, finding its way to pull at my hair. He bucks his hips up, thrusting forcefully in me now, and doing it oh so right. "Calum... I am going to cum..." I cry out, gripping the bedsheet, by each side of his head. I buck my hips, wiggling them back and forth without taking his cock out of me. I need him, right where he is right now. "I want you to cum, princess. Cum around my cock. You've been so good for daddy." He praises me, pulling my head back by my hair. "Daddy..." I whimper, shutting my eyes tightly. "Come on, princess. I need just a little more." He sounds way too close, and his dick is twitching inside me, so I decide to hold on a little longer, cum at the same time as him. He groans as he gets closer and closer, his body glistening with sweat under the light dimming in the room. "Fuck, (Y/N)..." He gasps, gluing his hips on mine as he cums inside me. I let go, grinding on him to accelerate my orgasm as I arch my back and throw my head back, my nails digging in his forearms.

I collapse on the mattress by his side, gasping and shaking as I come down from my orgasm. I am speechless, but the smile on my face seems to be stuck there, not fading away even an inch. "Hi..." He mumbles as he rests his weight on his elbow to look at me. "Hi there." I say softly, bringing my hand to stroke his cheek. "I missed you. So much." He whispers, kissing the inside of my palm. "I missed you. It is super hard living without." I sigh, making him hum in agreement. "I am sorry, baby. I really am. If I could..." He begins but I press my thumb to his lips to stop him. "No... Don't apologize... Just... Promise to call me every night while you are gone... And promise you are going to spend the first weekend you are going to be back with me, and only me." I state and he smiles, nodding his head. "I cross my heart and hope to die." He replies, pressing his lips on my forehead. "Did you really drunk yourself to sleep?" He asks, his voice barely over a whisper. "For a few days, I did. Then I stopped. Addiction is tricky, and being addicted to you is enough for me." I reply, taking his hand in mine. "Oh, love. I am sorry for all that suffering." He sounds honest, which only makes my heart skip a beat over his wholesomeness. "I am so scared you are going to leave me. And I know you've never given me any reason to think of that. But the thought eats me alive." I admit and he sighs softly. He presses his lips on my forehead, stroking my hair softly. "I am never going to leave you. Ever. Take my word for it, wildflower." He looks me in the eye, and I can see his honesty reflecting in them. "Promise?" I ask and he nods. "I promise. I swear on anything sacred." He lays on his back and brings me to his chest. I lay my head there, tangling up to him as I yawn. "Tired, wildflower?' He asks, making me hum in agreement. "I am... I really am." I reply, cuddling up to him. "Let's get some sleep, then. And then get something to eat, call the guys. They've missed you..." He suggests, bringing the covers over my body. "Sounds like a plan..." I blink slowly, kissing his chest sleepily.

My Masterlist

[rae-is-typing]

‘Cause You Had a Bad day...

Notes: This little piece was inspired by the dumpster fire of a day I had a week ago. It’s self-indulgent as f u c k, as most of my fics are. Enjoy :)

Description: You’re having a terrible day. Your friends at the Avengers tower help you out a little bit.

Characters: reader, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, a rude receptionist named Lisa, unnamed security guard, Peter Parker is mentioned

Warnings: swearing, fractured limbs, squabbling between friends, x-rays

Disclaimers: Civil war probably didn't happen because everyone likes each other and gets along. Kind of.

Word count: 2.4k

Rain pounds on the cement, thunder rolls in the distance and it’s as if a dark cloud is looming over New York. You keep your head down with your hood up. The one day you forgot your umbrella is the one day that it rains like a motherfucker. Your entire body shivers and shakes, and the gusts of wind is only making it worse. You desperately wanted to call for help or a ride, but your phone has been dead all day because you forgot to charge last night. And to top off the shit sundae, you got locked out of your apartment and your parents are gone for the weekend. So you have to walk all the way to the tower from school with no phone, no wallet and no umbrella.

Nothing is going your way at all. You just want to get to the tower, take a nice hot shower, and crawl in a hole and die. 

It’s only when the tower is in sight that you can relax and perk up a little and the pep comes back to your step. But without any warning, you fall forward. A figure runs past you at full speed with a purse in his hand. The contents of your bag spills out in front of you. You put out your hands and try to catch yourself, only to land hard on your wrist.

A cry falls from your lips as pain shoots up your arm. Tears immediately come to your eyes, not only from pain, but from your own righteous indignation. 

“Fuck,” You cry weakly, pushing yourself up with your good hand. You had superhealing like Peter, but it’s not instantaneous and you’re definitely feeling this one. 

You manage to gather your stuff with one hand and shove it back in your bag unceremoniously. You stumble to your feet, cradling your wrist to your chest. Walking the rest of the length to the tower, you desperately trying not to cry.

Someone was kind enough to hold the door for you when you finished walking the steps. After a quiet ‘thank you’, you stepped into the larger lobby. 

“Excuse me, miss. I need some ID.” The snotty voice of the receptionist rang throughout the wide area.

“I’m here almost everyday, Lisa. Can you let it go one time?” You snap, pausing before the elevator. 

“No, unfortunately not. It’s S.I. policy that we ID every visitor that enters the lobby.” Her voice bursts with fake sympathy.

“That is bullshit and you know it,” You voice hardens.

“I’m sorry ma’am. Please let me see your ID.”

You take a deep breath, trying not to go off on the bitchy receptionist. “Lisa, there are a ton of other people in here and neither you nor your co-workers have ID’d one of them. Now if you’ll excuse me,” You huff and walk towards the elevator, ready to press the button when someone puts a hand on your shoulder. You look behind you to see a security guard dressed in all black with a hard expression dressing his face.

“Can I help you?” You snap.

“I need you to come with me.” His voice is rough and low. His shoulders are squared, with arm gripping you, the other is placed on the weapon at his side.

“No.” More anger bubbles in your chest and your hands begin to shake. Your abilities begin to make themselves known through the surge of power you feel in your veins. Heat comes to your hands and your skin begins to warm up considerably. He grabs you by your upper arm, keeping a tight grip on it as he begins to drag you back to the entrance. 

“What the fuck, let me go!”

Anxiety replaces your frustration. Knowing that using your abilities for anything other than pure self defense would definitely land you a weekend in jail and a ban from most career choices, you’re desperate to keep your powers at bay. You struggle in his grip, his hands squeezing your upper arm likely to the point of bruising. He had you at the entrance when the elevator opens. You don’t see it, but Tony, Bruce, Steve and Sam walked out into the lobby. 

“What the hell is going on here?” Tony’s voice reverberates throughout the lobby with vigor. The bustling lobby goes silent; everything seems to stop. Your head snaps back to see Tony and Steve march up to the security guard. Steve pushes him off of you, and Tony begins to interrogate him.

“Why were your hands on my kid?” 

“I-w was-” 

“I don’t want to hear it. Get out of here and don’t come back.” 

The security guard’s face changes form hard to confused and back to hard as he exits the building with slightly slumped shoulders. 

“Mr. Stark, sir,” Lisa rushes out from behind her desk and in front of Tony. He glares down at her. “He was doing what I told him to, you don’t need to terminate him.” 

“Why was my kid being dragged out against her will? And why is she holding her wrist like that?”

“She didn’t give me an ID. It’s industry policy that we ID each visitor-”

“She’s been coming here almost everyday for over a year. She is not a visitor.”

“All I did was-”

“Save it. Go home and don’t come in tomorrow.”

“But, Mr. Stark-”

Tony doesn’t listen. Instead, he turns to where Bruce is gently holding your wrist in his hands, examining the sprain. You skin has cooled down, but you’re still shaking and breathing hard. Steve and Sam stand near you. Sam’s arms are crossed over his chest, his eyes ablaze with anger. Steve had draped his coat over your shaking body, warming you up without the help of your abilities. The anger had left your body when Tony and the others began handling the situation. It was replaced with defeat and exhaustion.

“Jesus kid, you’re soaked. Did you walk all the way here or something?” Tony’s voice went from brutal to concerned in a heartbeat. He ushers everyone to the elevator to avoid the prying eyes of those in the lobby.

“Yeah,” You say softly, wincing when Bruce pressed two fingers to your wrist. 

“Why didn’t you call one of us?” Steve asks. 

“My phone died.”

“Where’s your umbrella, honey?”

“In my apartment.”

“Why didn’t you get it before coming here?”

“I got locked out.”

“What happened to your wrist?”

“Someone ran into me and I fell on it.” 

“You couldn’t catch a break today, could you?”

You shake your head, sniffling. 

“You need to get changed before you catch a cold,” Steve says.

“That’s not how it works,” Tony chimes, glancing at Steve. “The common cold is a virus, the weather has almost nothing to do with it.”

“Really? She’s in pain and soaking wet and you’re chastising me for not wanting her to get sick?”

“I just thought you should know how viruses work. Your information is a little outdated. What’s it been? Seventy-three years?”

“You know what, Stark? You can-”

“Stop fighting.” Bruce says, a hint of a growl coming through his normal voice. The two men stop squabbling for a moment to turn their attention back to you. 

“Super-healing not working yet?”

“I think so, it just really hurts,” Your voice cracks as you hold back tears. You aren’t one to cry over most things, but the stress coupled with your feelings of defeat and indignation and finally getting a break become too much for you. 

“Oh kid, you don’t need to cry.” Tony speaks, voice turning slight with discomfort at the sight of a couple tears trailing your cheeks. “Seriously, you don’t.”

“Sorry,” You choke out, trying to wipe your eyes with your good hand. 

“Don’t apologize, Y/N. A release of emotion is healthy. Stark’s a robot, so he doesn’t understand that.” Steve says, wrapping an arm around you, and letting you rest your head on his shoulder. He throws a pointed look at Tony. “Cry if you need to.”

You nod as the elevator begins to rise. Steve keeps an arm wrapped around you, and you keep your head on his shoulder. You’re crying, but not outright sobbing and occasionally wiping your eyes. The sharp pain in your wrist has dulled to a simple throb, and your hair is slowly drying. The elevator is silent until Bruce speaks up.

“I’ll take a closer look with the live x-ray in the med bay. Right now it looks like a simple fracture that your body should be able to handle within the next couple hours,”

You only nod, eyes fixed on the elevator door. It opens to the med bay. It’s clean, medical instruments on carts and scales in other places. It takes up an entire floor for post-mission operations and other check ups. There are a few doctors on call for emergencies, however you and the other Avengers were most comfortable with Bruce or occasionally Dr. Strange checking in on you if you can help it. 

“Come over here,” Bruce says, leading you to a large table with a few slots built into it and a monitor on top of it. “I need you to take off the jacket and roll up your sleeve.”

You follow the instructions, and take off your bag and set it on the floor. Then you take off Steve’s jacket, hand it back to him, take of your soaking wet hoodie which Steve also takes and roll up the sleeve to your equally soaked shirt. 

“Put your arm through here,” Bruce says, gesturing to the slot in the table. It’s glass on both sides and emits a brilliant blue light. You sit in a chair near the table and out your injured arm through the slot. He gently grabs your hand and guides it to the right position. You fold your legs criss-cross-applesauce on the chair.

It takes a while for the image of your wrist on the monitor. Bruce studies it for a couple moments and you stare blankly at the image of your bones. There’s a small break on the radius of your forearm near your hand. 

“It’s a green-stick fracture, it uh looks like your healing factor has already begun to take care of it. Does it hurt?” You nod. “Alright, I can give you some of the painkillers that we give Peter when he’s hurt.” Bruce turns off the x-ray and lets you take your arm out before he gets up and rummages through a random cart. 

You look up when someone places their hand on your shoulder. Steve smiles down at you. “We’re ordering food, what do you want?”

You shrug, staring back at the now blank monitor. “Something warm,”

“Alright, Shawarma it is.” Tony declares.

“We are not eating Shawarma again. Let's get something more palatable,”

“Shawarma is palatable.”

“Not three nights in a row,”

“JARVIS, place the usual order the Chinese place downtown.” Sam says, rolling his eyes at their squabbling. 

“Done,” JARVIS’s automated voice rang out.

Bruce comes back over holding a small white pill in a small cup, a glass of water and what looks like a brace. You took it from him, easily swallowing the pill and water down. 

“Put this on with it. It’ll keep your arm in the right position,” 

“Thanks,” You say,slipping the brace on, tightening it and resting your injured arm on the table. 

“They’ll begin to take effect in a few minutes. You should be able to shower and get dressed after that.”

You nod, looking back down at your lap. Soon enough, your wrist stopped hurting. You get up without a word and take yourself to the floor you and Peter stay on when you’re staying overnight. Peter is running errands with May, so he won’t be in until later. 

You get to your room and push open the door. Tossing your bag and the brace on your bed, you plug in your phone and go to the bathroom. You turn on the shower to mildly scalding and peel of the wet clothes. 

You take a nice long shower, taking your time in warming up, and crying a little more. The hot water washed away the rest of your tears, your frustration and the anxiety that you’ve been lugging around all day. 

“Miss Y/N, the food has arrived. I recommend you get out soon before it is all gone.” JARVIS speaks. You sigh, turning off the water. You dry yourself off quickly enough and put on a soft crewneck sweater and a pair of large sweats and slip the brace back on.

You put on a pair of slippers and make your way to the communal floor to  see Steve making himself a plate. He smiles when he sees you.

“Feeling any better, sweetie?”

“Kinda,” You shrug. “I’m really tired,”

“It’s been a long day, doll. Get some food, Sam’s putting on a movie,”

You nod, grabbing a plate from the stack near the food. You fill it up with what you want and go to sit in the living room. Tony lounges on the largest chair in the living room, Sam sits with his legs up on the love seat, and Bruce is curled up on the smaller of the chairs in the living room. 

“Welcome back, kid.” Tony breathes out, stretching out lazily. He changed too, now donning a band shirt and some joggers. 

“Hey,” you greet him, sitting on the sofa that’s next to the love seat.

“We’re watching Easy A once Steve gets his ass in here!” Sam begins with an even tone before throwing his head over his shoulder and yelling the last part. 

“I’m coming, be patient.” He grumbles, taking a seat next to you and placing his food on the coffee table.

“Took you long enough, Capsicle. Start the movie, J.”

“Yes, sir.”

The lights in the living room dim, the surround sound starts and the movie begins to play. You sink in the couch, the comfortable plush calming you even more. With the help of the drugs and the brace, your wrist feels as good as knew. Gratitude warms you chest as you catch Tony’s eye. You smile at him. 

‘Thank you’ you mouth. He only nods with an equally warm smile gracing his lips before turning back to the movie playing on the screen.

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 9)

Bakugo x Reader 

Have you seen this man

**** Warning**** This chapter has a bit more graphic violence than the others. 

Words : 2810

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

You actually got pulled to duty today, so naturally you just had to be feeling under the weather. Any other day of the week you could sit at your desk or hell just lay on one of the many couches in the break room, but nope. Not today. Today you need to go assist in a bank robbery. It was a simple call. They just needed you to pop in and get the hostages out. Piece of cake. From what you understood there was only four hostages and only two villains. Walk in the park.

But because you were already having a bad day it would only make sense if it got worse from there. So you arrive on scene and guess who’s already there? Bakugo. And guess who is yelling like the mad man he is that you don't need to go in there? Again Bakugo. 

“Nope. No. I don’t think so! This feels all too familiar. Nope. Cant do it. Go home. I think I can hear Zuko crying from here. You should probably go check on him. I can take care of this...” He probably didn't even know he was doing a full on Deku rant but you weren’t about to point that out to him right now. 

“Ground Zero... I appreciate your concern but I was called here specifically. I assume because they knew you’d blow up the building. I’ll have them out in five minutes. Now you can either help me or pout. That part is totally up to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, probably not appreciating be called Ground Zero. But you were in pubic and trying to be professional. “Okay Adsum..” He threw a little extra sarcasm on your name. “What do you want me to do?” 

You gave him a victorious smile, “I’m glad you asked. I can do this a lot faster if the villains are distracted. So do what you do best. Yell at them, blow things up, get their attention. And once I’ve got them all out you can go Lord Explosion Murder all over the place... Sound good?” 

He ground his teeth, “Yeah whatever just hurry...” 

Before the accident Bakugo wouldn't have bated an eyelash at you doing something like this. Now it was like pulling teeth. 

You ended up pulling everything off flawlessly. Only minor damages but that’s only to be expected when Bakugo’s involved. 

You endured the strobes of flashing cameras as the press yelled praise and questions. But neither you nor Bakugo paid them any attention. In fact you wanted to get as far away as possible. You started to feel light headed and you thought you were going to vomit any second now. Once you were far enough away you bolted towards a trash can and emptied your breakfast. 

Bakugo was at you in an instant holding your hair and rubbing your back, “Oi... you okay? You pushing yourself too hard again? I don’t care how small she is, I’ll fucking fight Dylan.” 

You pulled a tissue out of your pocket and wiped your mouth. “I dont think it’s Dylan. I think I’m just sick. I wasn't feeling too hot before I even came in today. But now that I think of it, We did have a harder day yesterday than we usually do. She had me pushing myself to see how many times I could teleport in under a minute.” You gave him a proud smile, “I got all the way up to 30. Thats once every two seconds.” 

He brushed a few hairs out of your face, “As proud as I am of you, you need to take better care of yourself. I know you say she knows your limits and everything but I still dont think there’s a chance in hell she knows your limits better than you do.” You went to protest but he gave you a pointed look, “Can you please take the rest of the day off? Just go home and get some rest. You clearly need it. ” 

“Ugh, fine... but only if you bring home some ice cream later...”

He laughed, “You and your damn ice cream. Yes I will bring you ice cream. Cookies and cream or chocolate chip cookie dough?” 

You gave him puppy dog eyes, “Both?” 

He smirked, “How could I say no to that. Alright you got yourself a deal. Now get out of here before I throw you over my shoulder and drag you home myself.” 

You wagged your eyebrows, “Oh yeah?” 

He thumped you between the eyes, “Oi! We are at work women! Contain yourself.... you also just threw up...soooo I will give you a professional hand shake goodbye.” 

He held his hand out and you just rolled you eyes. You held your hand out as well but before it met his you popped behind him and smacked his ass. “Report me to HR... I dare you.” And then you popped away in the direction of your apartment before he could scold you. You ended up ditching the costume and packing it away in your backpack. You called a cab because you really were not feeling well. 

You didn't know if the cab driver was staring at you periodically because he recognized you or if he thought you might throw up in his cab. Either way he didn't make any attempts at conversation which you were thankful for. 

You quickly took a half ass shower and brushed your teeth before going straight to bed. You passed out a soon as your head hit the pillow. 

You woke up hours later to the loud ringing of your cell phone. You checked the time before you answered. It’s a little past midnight, Katsuki should have been home by now. 

The caller ID said Kiri and your heart sank. With shaky hands you clicked answer, “He..” You cleared your throat, “Hey Kiri? What’s with the late night phone call? You wouldn't happen to know where Bakugo is would you?”

“That’s actually why I’m calling! I’m on my way to get you. I’ll explain everything when I get there. Just get dressed and get ready to go. Zuko too! Dont answer the door for anyone who isn't me!” 

He hung up before you could ask what was going on. Truly panicking now you jumped out of bed and started digging around for clothes. You were pulling on your shoes while simultaneously trying to locate Zuko’s leash when a loud bang came from the other side of the door. 

“Hey Bitch! Open up the damn door! We know you’re in there! Dont make me break this shit down!” 

Zuko started growling as you looked through the peephole. You gasped, it was the cab driver from earlier. He did recognize you. And he brought a friend. 

“Your little boyfriend aint here to protect you now is he! Not like he was the night he killed my brother! My brothers dead because of you!” 

You had no idea what the mad man was talking about but it was enough to send chills down your spine. You didn't want to risk having to fight them one on one. You still felt too sick for that. You knew Kiri was on the way so you could wait util he got there... *CRACK*

They had started kicking at the door now. “Shit...” 

“We’re going to make you pay for what you did you little bitch!” 

*CRACK*

“Then when we’re done, we’ll take out that that little shit stain Ground Zero!” 

*CRACK*

“Then we’ll track down every girl you saved that night!”

*CRACK*

You ran to the kitchen and took one of Bakugo’s really expensive knives. Surely he’d forgive you for fucking it up. You returned to the door that was only about one hard push from coming off the hinges. You focused really hard as you squeezed the knife in your hand. Then there was a slight pop and the knife was gone. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” You looked through the peephole again but this time the cab drivers buddy had a knife... Bakugo’s knife, the one you were just holding, lodged in his chest. You did it.... You had teleported the knife through the door.

Before you had a chance to back away from the door, the cab driver threw his shoulder into it, effectively taking it off its hinges and throwing you to the ground. “Fuck!” You tried to scramble to your feet but he caught your ankle. 

You kicked him in the face twice before he let go. You had barley gotten to your feet when Zuko lunged for him. Bakugo spent a lot of time training him... so it didn't surprise you when he went straight for the throat. But watching as your dogs teeth sank into another man’s throat... it was hard to watch. 

The man cried out in alarm but Zuko just dug deeper and growled. You eyes went wide, “Zuko! No! Get back here!” 

Zuko let go and ran back to you. The man’s blood was pooling around him now as his eyes began to droop close. 

You sat down in shock staring at the scene before you. Two dead men. Blood. so much blood. Your breathing was starting to get shallow.

“Holy shit! What happened to don’t open the door for anyone but me?! Y/N! Are you okay?” 

Your eyes slowly met Kirishima's, “Where’s Bakugo?” 

He grabbed your hand and started pulling you out of the apartment and down the hallway. “I’ll tell you in the car... Come on Zuko!” 

You sped off with Kirishima checking his rearview mirror periodically. He didn't ease up until he was almost to the agency you worked at. “Okay so here's the deal. So as you just discovered some quirkless cabdriver found out where you and Bakugo live. He sent a threat along with some pictures of you walking into the building to Bakugo.” 

You gasped but Kirishima wasn't done, “Yeah but what's worse is he also sent it to the league of villains. Told them you were the one who messed up their human trafficking deal and Bakugo was the one who blew up some of their best men. You both have pretty big targets on your back right now. And Bakugo being Bakugo... he....” 

Your hands gripped the leather armrest, “Kiri don’t tell me he went off on his own... KIRISHIMA WHERE IS HE?!” 

He gave you a sad look, “We don’t know. He called me and told me to get you out of the apartment and then hung up... That was an hour ago.” 

Your eyes welled with tears. He’s so stupid. always yelling at you for not waiting for back up and now he thinks he can just show up alone to fight the League of villains of all people! 

“Where are you taking me?”

“Technically I’m supposed to bring you to the agency while we wait this out... but...” 

You leaned forward, “But what?”

“But we’re going to meet up with Deku, Todoroki, and Denki and where going to go get him.” 

“I thought you said you didn't know where he was?”

He gave you a shit eating grin, “I dont. But we happen to know where all the League of Villain hideouts are. All we need now is for you to teleport to each one. Find him and report back. They’re all within a few miles of each other. I know it’s kind of pushing it but Bakugo told me you once teleported 15 miles.” 

You nodded, “By accident sure, but my range has gone up! Its almost to three miles now... He’ll kill you for this you know? He won't want me involved in this at all.”

He rubbed his neck, “Well that's a risk I’m willing to take to get his dumb ass home.” 

Half an hour later you along with the others were huddled around a map with all possible locations circled. Todoroki pointed to a spot almost exactly in the middle if the others, “That’s where we are right now. This spot is about 5 to 10 miles from all possible locations. Y/n. We need you to teleport to each of them until you find them. When you do, do not engage. Teleport back to us. You’ll take me first, then Midoriya, them Kaminari, and lastly Kirishima. Do you understand?”

You nodded, “I’m going to be honest.. I don’t know how efficient Ill be. I’ve only been working on this kind of thing for a month or so. I’ll likely have to teleport two or three times to get to each location. Do you have pictures?” 

He shook his head, “No I apologize we do not. Are you sure you’re up to it?”

You cracked your knuckles, “Which one first?” 

You popped in and out. Running into trees, and ponds, and whatever else was in your way. You had to stop to throw up nice or twice, but you never did it in front of the other heros. They didn't need to see you were sick. You were on to the fourth location when you made a mental note to thank Dylan profusely when this is all over. Without her intense training you don’t know if you could have done any of this.

This stretch only took you two teleports to get there. You were breathing heavy with a sweat soaked shirt when you heard it, the familiar sound of an explosion. “Katsuki?” You were hiding in a couple of trees that surrounded a barn. You teleported to the top of the closest tree and look down. Sure enough there he was. You were itching to go to him. To drag him out by his ear. But you had a job to do. You took one last look at his blonde head. Hoping he would still be here when you got back. 

In one long stretch that made your muscles scream in protest you teleported back to your friends, “I found him now lets go. We need to hurry!” 

Shouto stepped up and you spat a quick, “Hold your breath.” And you were off. You dropped him by the same tree you had just stood under and pointed in Bakugo’s direction, “Hes that way. Just listen for the yelling and the explosions.” 

Without waiting for a response you went back to get Midoriya. When you dropped him off you started to feel dizzy. Not good. You leaned on a tree and gripped your head. Through gritted teach you made it back for Kaminari.

When you came for Kiri you couldn’t help it. You threw up. 

“Shit Y’n are you okay?” 

“Yeah I just have the flue or something. Just give me a minute.” 

A minute turned to twenty and you could still hardly pick your head up. Kiri came and knelt next to you. “Hey they made it out okay. They took him kicking and screaming, but they got out. I just got off the phone with Midoriya. What do you say we get you to a hotel room and get you something to eat huh? My treat. It’s the least I can do after I basically volunteered you for this.” 

You wanted to protest but your stomach gave you away. You hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and you had thrown that up a long time ago. “Yeah I could really use some food. I’m fucking starving.” 

You called ahead and ordered a room as well as enough food for a small family. Kirishima got the room next to yours and told you to let him know if you needed anything. 

You opened the door and the smell of pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese hit you. You couldn't decide what you wanted so you had ordered it all. You needed a little comfort food. You deserved this. 

You had devoured the mac and cheese and was about to dig into the pizza when you heard the click of the door.

You grabbed your fork tightly as you stepped over to see who it was. 

“They didn't have cookie dough, so I could only get you cookies and cream.. I hope thats okay..”

You dropped your fork and flung yourself at him, “You’re so fucking stupid you know that! You cant do that to me. I was so scared!” 

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his nose through your hair, “I know. I’m sorry. I just.... I saw red. I couldn't let them get to you. The only thing on my mind was to protect you.  And then Kirishima told me they went to the apartment anyways. SHIT are you okay? I heard you stabbed a guy..?”

You flinched, “Well not exactly. I teleported the knife through the door... Zuko handled the other guy. Speaking of which he needs a bath... He has blood in his fur...”   

He cupped your face in his hands, “Later when were both not emotionally exhausted I’d like to talk about how badass and impressive you are. But nows not the time.” He looked to Zuko who was wagging his tail at his feet, “Thank you for looking out for our girl.” He gave him a quick pat on the head

You pulled away from his embrace and ran to the bathroom and threw up for probably the fifth time today. 

“Damn Y/n I’m sorry. I was the one who asked you to take the day off and then you had to go and work so fucking hard just so you guys could find me. I’m such a dumbass. I’m sorry.” 

You leaned against the tub, “You're not a complete dumbass. You still remembered the ice cream.” 

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Power Transfer

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: 

One for all is a power that has been passed down for generations. Turns out the most recent generation can afford to be a whole lot more liberal with his sharing. Also turns out sharing quirks runs in the family.

An AU where Izuku can share OFA full cowling with multiple people at once.

shared power ofa,

izuku giving aizawa 5% of one for all durring the usj or izuku giving toshinori 99% of OFA durring the last fight

cause consider the world never finding out about small might, all might retires but izuku knows

the rescue team all having the max amount of ofa they can use, which is around 2% each, cause a lil sparking team of heroes

izuku using kirishima to give bakugo some too n them using it to get away

izuku having two quirks is my favourite goddamn thing bc him being able to share his quirk but not having anything to share is great

he gives bits to allmight, like a constant 1% so he can teach classes and do press stuff

some rando wants to do an "all might" where is he now segment and it spans a good few months so izuku is continuously in the background just

conspiracy theory starts that izuku is a villain or allmights son

a villain and all might's son

izuku has no double toe joint but the doc cant find any evidence of a quirk? so he tells them izuku is either quirkless or has an invisible quirk. something subtle, or specific enough to have not activated by now

bakugo kinda,, is chill with izuku. he was waiting for izuku to develop a quirk till he judged him, but he never did so he kinda withheld judgement long enough for them to become decent friends

anyway, izuku likes to ramble about different things his quirk could technically be, bakugo likes to join in. they can go at this for h o u r s cackling about stupid hypotheticals

they workout together, they both do boxing and try out random moves they see on the internet on each other. they have a pile of gym mats in the woods like the weirdos they are

bakugo is like,, convinced izuku's quirk is actually an intellect up but he just shrugs

izuku has to grab something before he heads home so he takes the underpass and we get basically episode 1 from there. all might says no, the villain gets away, attacks Bakugo. izuku runs in, throws dust in the villain's eyes and pulls at bakugo's hands. all might jumps in, saves the day yada yada

some background for u about all might bc his past is a touch different here. during the battle with afo, afo was distracted. all might sustained the same injures but won more easily.

night eye never looks into his future because "my purpose is done, nighteye. let's live like everyone else, no fate of the world on our shoulders" he never looks into all mights future again at his request

they stay together

so instead of the big argument they go get ramen and get drunk because they don't have to be superhuman anymore, they can relax now

back to the main timeline-

so izuku is already fit, cleans the beach in 8 months, nighteye supervises

all might gives izuku the quirk 2 months before the entrance exam, nighteye is there to "oversee" (he wants to see izuku choke on a hair and laugh at this kid hes become pretty fond of)

also mirio! is izuku's bro because i love he

izuku eats the hair and gets the quirk like, instantly which?? is confusing nighteye and all might. nighteye has like,,, hidden behind a car because hes the only person with self-preservation

allmight touches izuku and the lightning climbs up his arm and he just pOofs out into swolmight. hes ShooK, so is izuku

anyway, he manages to turn it off and izuku is just standing there like "oh my god what the fuck"

"izuku,, what,, happened there"

",,,, one for all??? leaked out??? into allmight????"

...

"nighteye come over here."

"izukU nO"

"STAND STILL NIGHTEYE I JUST NEED TO TRY SOMETHING"

nighteye is forcibly given a little of ofa and regrets a lot of stuff

anyway, izuku breaks an arm trying to use ofa and hes muttering trying to work out how to use it, nighteye basically says "well, think back to how ofa came about" and izuku is like ",,, what"

and nighteye screams because TOSHI YOU DIDNT TELL HIM?????? and allmight ",,, o o p s"

so izuku gets to hear the story of all for one while hes being driven to UA for recovery girl hes,,, really quiet for a second

"when did you fight him?"

"six years ago, april?"

",,, this has to be a coincidence"

hisashi went out on a "business trip" 6 years ago and they haven't seen him since. he calls, but hes never visited and izuku has this terrible feeling

because izuku cant calm down and because nighteye thinks this kid might be on to something they call tsukauchi and he agrees to meet them at UA

izuku gets treated, naomasa is in v quickly afterwards before he calls his dad he turns to nighteye, allmight and Naomasa

"i've never been able to lie to my dad. i thought he was just really good at reading me but,,"

"if hes afo he might have a quirk"

"yeah. so i'll just twist the truth. im good at that, but thats all i'll be able to do"

anyway, he calls up his dad and slaps this big grin on his face. the phone is on speaker

"hey dad!!!!" "izuku! is something wrong?"

"oi, cant i call my dad for no reason?"

"you, willingly calling someone? dont make me laugh"

izuku giggles despite himself

"anyway, you'll never guess!!"

"did youuuu,,,, hmmmm, meet all might?"

they freeze but izuku just laughs

"yeah,, but thats not the most exciting thing!!! my quirk came in finally"

"oh?"

"yeah! imagine the worlds most basic power enhancer, but i can share the energy! you have any idea where that could have come from?"

"no! i can't think of anyone in our family with a quirk like that! sounds crazy!"

naomasa looks grin, and mouths "liar"

izuku pales but keeps his smile

"do you think you could visit, id love to show you!! oh, maybe we could test it together! you always had the best ideas for my quirk notes"

"id love to izuku, but im stuck in america for the near future, you know it is. i'll see what i can do tho, ok champ?"

naomasa shakes his head again "lying" izuku looks like hes going to be sick. nighteye is pale, all might looks stunned. izuku grits his teeth but his voice is still light and happy

"i'm gonna make it into UA so you can watch me kick butt from america! you better cheer me on!"

"im looking forward to it. say hi to your mother from me."

naomasa nods. hes telling the truth. that makes nighteye feel the sickest

"love you izuku"

",,, love you too dad"

izuku hangs up the phone and retches into the bin. nighteye is shaking. all might storms out. naomasa punches the wall

izuku looks up with tears in his eyes

",,, does my mum know?"

nighteye wants to cry

"i dont know kid"

izuku tells katuski that his quirk finally came in! but,,, in the worlds biggest mess of a way

basically hes lying in bed, trying to work out why he can't use it without breaking bones but the people he shares it with can, he bolts upright

"POWER MODULATION OH MY GOD"

he runs out his door all the way to bakugos house and climbs in through his window, grabbing a sleeping bakugo by the shoulders

"KACCHAN ITS POWER MODULATION"

"IZuKU whAt tHE fuCK"

"my quirk!!! i was breaking bones because i wasnt modulating it!!!"

",,,,q QUiRK/???/?"

",,,, oh yeah oops"

mitsuki runs in with a frying pan ready to murder a villain but its just izuku

"carry on"

izuku doesnt tell him its ofa but he explains his quirk has finally showed up, bakugo asks him if hes registered it yet

",,,noooooo"

"wait what? you, breaking the law? mister "i cant kill an ant because all might himself will call me a villain""

izuku, w the most shit-eating grin, explains that you only legaly have to register your quirk when it shows up, or after you are tested when you are five, whichever happens first so, legally, he doesnt need to register because it would be seen as voluntary updating

cut to the enterance exam

aizawa is holding the papers for the kids hes observing right then

"quirkless? that kid doesn't look quirkless"

and yagi sighs

"of course he didnt,,,"

"all might? do you know him?"

"NO NO IDEA WHO MID- THAT YOUNG CHILD IS"

",,,, r i g h t"

“aizawa listen i have never seen young midoriya in my life ever”

basically, izuku is hiding the "transfer" part of his power from most people bc hes stubborn and thinks it could be useful

also,,, in this au shinso makes it in on hero points thanks

bakugo is about to rush the 0 pointer but shinso can see its going to fall on him shinsou yells

"HEY FUCK FACE"

"HA-"

"MOVE MOVE MOVE GET OVER HERE BEFORE YOU FUCKING DIE OH MY GOD MOVE I DONT WANT TO SEE SOMEONE DIE TODAY"

shinsou and bakugou are the type of friends that flat out have no love for each other but would punch anyone who says anything bad abt the other. like shinsou walks into school and bakugou s just

“dammit i thought u fucking died smh”

“i wish i did then i wouldn’t have to look at ur ugly ass”

in this au shinso and izuku bond when they are standing outside they door bc izuku looks like hes gonna fucking cry hes so scared and shinsou is like "wow big mood"

shinso is not shinson in this au! bc izuku is gonna do a soft

basically, quirk test? shinsou is s w e a t i n g bakugo looks a little worried for his new friend but no one would notice if they weren’t izuku

shinsou turns to him like "my quirk is mental im going to fa I L"

izuku grabs his hand and he feels this rush of energy, you can almost see it dancing along his skin. izuku grins

"i think you'll find you do just fine"

(izuku gave him like,, less than a full 1% but hes like doubled in strength and speed and hes??? shook?? bc whats happening)

aizawa is lost bc shinso has a mental quirk he shouldnt be doing this well, so he tries to cancel it

nothing happens and aizawa is so lost??? bc shinsou is kinda reedy and not super fit but hes placing solidly in the middle

and he noticing that shinso’s eyes seem to be glowing and so are they eyes of the kid coming in second and gives a big "hm,mmmm"

anyway, ball pitch, he cancels izukus quirk and turns to look at shinso, his eyes are dim. izuku looks sheepish but also like hes ready to throw down and its an interesting look

aizawa just sighs "you know what? just throw the ball."

izuku g r i n s and yeets it into next year using more of his quirk than he like,, really should have? to prove a point (his finger is bruised, not broken. he used 25%)

anyway aizawa shows the results, shinso is in the middle, izuku second, hagakure is last and sadly shes not getting expelled bc plot reasons – im sorry I have a thing against her shes perfectly valid probably im just still convinced shes the traitor even tho its totally a teacher

he calls izuku out on it but does admit he didnt say you couldnt help eachother, so its kind on him. shinso looks like hes going to pass out with relief

Hagekure is the traitor in this au though, 100%

during the camp she is at the pick up zone, hiding. izuku pulls bakugo out of the way, they all seem safe

but

she pushes izuku in through the portal as it closes

fyi afo takes her quirk and leaves her braindead in the nomu factory bc shes not useful anymore. also because now he needs to have a really awkward conversation with his son he was hoping to avoid

also usj? is really melodramatic

he gives aizawa 4% which is the max nighteye could hold without it hurting

aizawa takes a hit from the nomu and he reaches out his hand

izuku cries as he gives him an extra 4% and aizawa gets free but he can see bruises forming with every step his teacher takes

[lovinmcu]

New life in Cali, ch. 8

Chapter 8

Pairings; Chris Evans x reader, Sebastian Stan x reader

Warnings; overthinking

A/N; I’m breaking this up as best i can. 

Monday’s day at work is moving by so slowly. You are busy finishing up details on Frozen 2. Details are time-consuming, and all over encompassing. By the time you look up from your computer your phone is lite up with texts and missed calls. It was only 12, you could have sworn you missed lunch you’d been so busy.

Chris 8:40 am “Hey, headed out of town today. Can you help Seb with Dodger?”

9:00 am “If it not, no biggy. I hope you had fun at the party. Sorry, we haven’t talked.”

9:10 am “Hope you aren’t ignoring me, let me know.”

Chris missed call, 9:50 am

Seb 10:00 am “Chris said you hadn’t been answering, everything ok?”

10:15 am “Y/N?!?”

11:00 am “Lunch?!?! 12:30 is when we’ll break.”

They were obviously worried about you. You smile at the thought of having someone care about you this much in Cali, unlock your phone and call Seb. No answer. You sign, turn your phone off silent and turn back to answer some emails that were sent while you engrossed in your work. Five minutes later Sebastian calls you back.

“Hey, everything ok?” Seb says as soon as you answer.

“Yeah, just busy meeting these deadlines. Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you and Chris.”

“It’s ok, it’s just not like you, but we understand deadlines more than most. So, lunch?”

“OH, yes please, I’m starving!” You look down at your half-eaten breakfast, and cold coffee, and think “wow, I HAVE been in the zone”

“I’ll head that way now, see you soon,” you say before hanging up, you hit save, and head out the door. You need to come back to reality, your brain is in a fog from concentrating for so long. As you pass your coworker in the hall, they also notice your zombie-like state and tell you to get some air. That was a good idea, so you walk to the studio. On your walk, you make a conscious effort to not think about work. Then you panicked, you’re first date with Sebastian is tonight! What are you going to wear? Where is he taking you?

You grab your phone and send a quick text to Brittney on your way. “Hey girl, you had a crazy weekend, huh?” “Date with Seb tonight, what should I wear?” You arrive at the gate to show your id, as soon as you speak to the guard none other than Sebastian Stan himself pulls up in a golf cart to drive you over to lunch.

“Hey Doll!” Sebastian greets you with a hug.

“Hey,” you hug him back as the butterflies start to flutter. You think, Chris might be cute, and a lot of fun, but he never makes you have these butterflies. You smile at Seb and grab his hand he has obviously placed in between us not trying to make a move. He smiles back at you as you both arrive at the circle of trailers you recognize. Chris and Dodger run up to greet you, you accept all the kisses from Dodger and hug and peck on the cheek from Chris.

“He gets more action than both of us!” Sebastian smirks.

“Only because she hasn’t had some Mackie lovin’,” Anthony comments as he puts his arm around you, attempting to be cute. You draw him into a hug.

“Hey, Anthony.” You say.

“His NAME is Mackie,” Robert Downing Jr. says walking up to you all. You try to remain calm but it’s freaking RDJ! Maybe not on your celebrity crush list but absolutely one of your favorite actors. “This must be y/n, that I’ve heard you all talking about.” He shakes your hand and draws you in for a hug. You do everything to play it cool, but your 100% sure you came out looking like a giant geek. “They’ve been going on and on about this pool party I missed and I also overheard someone’s taking you out on a date tonight.” You instantly go red, even your ears burn. RDJ smirks, realizing how much he’s embarrassed you and hides you with another hug. “Sorry” he whispers.

“It’s ok!” You smile back at him.

“Well, let’s eat!” RDJ announces as he so nicely changes the subjects and takes you to the head of the food line.

You grab food and take a seat. Chris directs you where to sit and takes the seat next to you. You wonder to yourself where Sebastian is, but Chris answers as if you asked it out loud. “He’s gone to change.” “So, he asked if I was fine if he took you out tonight.” You could hear the disappointment in his voice.

“Yeah, not sure what he has planned. But I should probably ask what to wear.” You reply. “So, you and Brittney were having a lot of fun Saturday.”

“Oh, yeah it was a lot of fun, ya know, till she got sick.” He chuckles and continues to eat.

“Was she feeling ok when she left?”

“Yeah, a lot better. She left not long after you did. Nothing happened.” You were curious as to why he felt the need to add that last part. About then Sebastian sat on your other side. Plate full of food. “Worked hard this morning I see!” You comment about the amount of food in front of him.

“He didn’t do anything but make snarky comments all morning, not even sure how he calls this a job,” Mackie said while taking the place across from all of you.

“I hate you,” Sebastian says with an evil grin on his face, with all of us knowing he’s taking a line from Bucky. He quietly says, “Maybe it's nervous eating,” as he winks.

Lunch went on with a lot of stories and attempting to do their own stunts, and stupid inside jokes they all had and tried to explain to you. As lunch was wrapping up Sebastian was called away to get ready for his next scene and to get back into his prosthetic.

You and Chris go back to his trailer and talk about the trip he’s leaving for tonight, a comic con in Chicago. He asked you to make sure Dodger gets enough love because in his words “he likes you more than me anyway.”

“Jealous much?”

“About what?” Chris replies.

“About Dodger liking me more!” You give him a big smile as Dodger jumps into your lap. Proving your point.

“Just a little.”

You sense something more in his answers, “Are you ok with Sebastian and I going out?”

“Not sure, hate that I missed my chance with you.” He replies shyly while lowering his gaze.

“Chris? I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say, I had no clue you felt that way.” You pause.

“Yes, you’re on my celebrity crush list, well, look at you, of course, you are. And for a moment I thought there might be something, but there are far too many things we disagree on. Can you tell me that wouldn’t be a problem?” You say what’s on your heart, but your heart is breaking thinking of how much Chris is hurt. You move over toward him and pulling him into a hug, he tries to resist but you win. The two of you stand there hugging, for what seemed like forever and he strokes your hair. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, “Please don’t hate me, I need you.”

You two finally part ways and look into one another eyes. “Really?” He responds.

“Yes, you’re making California start to fill like home.” You stand up on your toes to kiss him on the cheek. You pull back and look up at him again. And at that moment he leans down and crashes his lips into yours, taking the air out of your lungs. You instinctually pull back, praying no one was about to walk in unannounced. “CHRIS!” To escape, you rush to the bedroom with tears streaming down your face.

You sit on the end of the bed, trying hard to grasp what just happened. More tears flow. How can things be this complicated 10 days after meeting someone? Having Chris in your life made you happier than you’ve been in a long time, you weren’t lying when you told him, he made California feel more like home.

You send a quick text to the secretary at work, you were already late getting back, “going to need some personal time this afternoon. No worries I’m way ahead of schedule.” Chris knocks on the door and peeks in. “I have to go back. Take all the time you need. Text me when you’re ready.” He shuts the door and then you hear the door to his trailer shut and lock.

You collapse onto the bed, trying to figure any other this out. Why did things have to get so complicated? Sure, Chris is fucking sexy but so is Sebastian. Both have eyes you could stare at forever. But, Chris takes things a little too seriously, delete the twitter rants already. Seb was much more chill, but now, all of this drama. You weren’t even sure if you could go out tonight with Sebastian. You didn’t want to compromise their relationship or the relationships you had with them.

A headache is starting from all the stress and crying, you close your eyes to make it go away. And you drift off to sleep.

Tag List

@melannie77  @thejemersoninferno  @thummbelina​ 

[ak47stylegirl]

Sick days: Chapter 2

Okay here’s the second part of this fic, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! :D

----

He was busy at work when his phone went off, the caller's Id being Alan’s and Gordon’s school. Which never meant anything good he has learnt.

He really hoped this wasn’t a call about one of his brother’s misbehaving, heaven knows those two can get up to mischief, he through shaking his head, a slight smile on his lips. Those two were a class act, he’ll give them that...

“Hello, this is Scott Tracy...” he answered, holding his phone to his ear as he walked over to a private corner, giving his coworkers a signal that he was going to be a minute. “What is the pleasure of this call?���

“Hello, Mr Tracy, I’m one of the nurses at Alan’s school..” His smile dropped, worry starting to gather in his gut.

Those words always filled him with dread, it meant something happened to one of his brothers and seeing as the nurse had said Alan’s school, he was assuming it was Alan.

His mind flashed back to this morning, where Alan was complaining of feeling sick, and guilt started to build up in his chest. Was Alan actually telling the truth this morning? And he didn’t listen?

“Alan came into the sickbay a little while ago with a fever, his teacher having sent him here..” the nurse explained to him, “he’s looking visually unwell, sneezing and coughing constantly. In the time he has been here he has gone through nearly half a box of tissues and that not including the one he brought with him from class…”

Guilt was overwhelming him as he listened to the nurse, his heart hurting more and more for his baby brother. “Okay...okay, I’m assuming you want me to come and pick him up?” He asked, holding his phone with his shoulder as he started to pack his things up, mouthing to his coworkers ‘sick child’ so they knew what was going on.

“Yes, he really isn’t in any state to be anywhere but in bed..” the nurse answered, “this horrible cold has been going around the whole school for weeks, taking kids out like flies, especially the younger ones...”

He grimaced at the mental image, this cold sounded really bad. “Would I be able to talk to Alan?” He asked as he clocked out early, the clock reading 11:45am. He grabbed his car keys and waved his coworkers goodbye half-heartedly, heading down to his car.

“Of course, ” he heard the nurse put the phone down and after a minute or two someone picked it up, their breathing sounding laboured and congested.

“Scoddy?” A little voice sniffled, sound absolutely without a doubt, sick as can be. His heart broke at the voice, wanting nothing more than to give his baby brother a hug and apologise for not realising he was actually feeling sick.

“Hey sweetheart…” he said gently as he opened his car door, getting into the driver's seat but not turning the car on yet, “I heard you’re feeling sick, is that true?” He didn’t need to hear Alan’s answer to know that it was true, anyone with ears could tell Alan was sick.

“Yea-“ Alan sniffled, sounding really wet and drippy “Y-yeah, I don’t b-beel rea-“ Alan’s breathing hitched, a sneeze coming on, “r-really g-goo-“ a loud wet sneeze echoed through the phone, followed by a miserable groan and a damp sounding nose blow.

His heart just hurt at the sound, oh, his poor baby…

“I..Wadt..h-hobe!” Alan whimpered, sounding like he was the verge of crying and he seemed even more horribly stuffed up now. “I...I don’t beel w-w-wel-“ another explosive sneeze echoed through the phone, followed by another and another and another. Each sounding wetter and more out of control.

‘Okay dear, that’s enough you need to go lay back down now..’ he heard the nurse say to Alan before speaking to him again, “as you can obviously hear, he’s really is not well, he needs to be home and in bed. We can give him some Panadol to try to lower his fever, but we need permission from a guardian or parent first..”

He sighed, leaning his head against his steering wheel, “You got my permission, I'll be there as soon as I can” He said before hanging up, his voice slightly choked.

Hearing Alan sound so...so unwell and upset, hurt so badly. He was feeling so guilty right now, he should have taken the time to listen to Alan instead of focusing on how they were late. What kind of parent/guardian didn’t notice their kid was sick?

Dad or Mum would have noticed, but they weren't around anymore, it was just him that was left to look after his brothers… even though it has been four years since they lost them, at times like this, it seemed like only yesterday that the car crash happened.

He sighed again, straightening up and blinked a couple of tears out of his eyes before sending out a quick text to Virgil that he only needed to pick Gordon up today, that Alan was sick and he was going to pick him up now.

The reply was almost instantaneous, ‘okay, thanks for letting me know and poor Allie..’ Virgil add a sad emoji at the end of his text.

With that taken care of, he put his seatbelt on and started the car up. He reversed out of his parking spot and turned his car towards the road.

———

He pulled up to the School at around 12:20pm and parked his car in the parking lot. He locked his car before heading into the school and to the sickbay. As he entered, he could see what the nurse had meant by kids dropping like flies.

There were so many kids in here, some looking sicker than others. Most of them were in the six to ten age range, with a couple of teenagers thrown in.

“Ah, Mr Tracy..” a nurse noticed him, the same nurse that had spoken to him on the phone. “Alan is this way…” he was lead into a side room, which was darker than the other room and filled with beds. Nearly every one of them was filled.

“It's crazy, I know…” the nurse sighed, seeing his slightly horrified look. “This virus been as I said to you on the phone, going around the school for weeks and it still not easing up” the nurse explained, “once the virus takes hold, it seems to last for weeks on end..”

He grimaced, this cold virus was seeming worse and worse. It was just plain alarming to him to see how many kids were sick. The nurse stopped at a bed that held a sleeping little blond boy.“We had someone grab his stuff for him, so you don’t have to worry about that..” Tissues were mostly in a bin by the bed, but some were scattered around Alan. There was a tissue box laying on the bed next to Alan, which was nearly empty.

His heart contracted at the sight as he came up to the bed, getting a good look at Alan. Even in the low light, he could tell that Alan was paler than usual, his cheeks puffy and his nose was bright irritated red, obviously swollen and congested.

Oh, baby, you’re really not well, are you? he thought as he sat down on the edge of the bed. “Allie…” he whispered, gently rubbing Alan’s shoulder, “time to wake up sweetie…”

Alan blinked his eyes opened and looked up at him with unfocused, watery red eyes. “Scoddy?” Alan asked weakly, sitting up slightly with a sniffle as he rubbed at his leaky nose.

He really sounds way worse in person, he thought as he looked at Alan with sad eyes. A doctors appointment was definitely on the agenda tomorrow...

“Hey baby…” he said softly, giving Alan a comforting little smile as he ran his hand through Alan’s hair, “it’s time to go home..”

Alan nodded weakly as he sat up slowly, reaching down for his shoes but froze as a couple of big messy wet sneezes caught him by surprise. Alan reached blindly for the tissues as a couple more sneezes exploding out of him with vile strength, one hand trying to cover the sneeze while the other desperately trying to grab a tissue.

By the end of the fit, Alan was shivering and shaking, a compleat mess of snot and germs. Alan’s eyes were even wetter than before, tears running down his face. He looked so miserable... 

“Oh baby, you’re really feeling under the weather, aren't you?” He said gently, running his hand through Alan’s hair as his baby brother tried to clean himself up. 

Alan nodded with a damp clogged up sounding sniffle, looking exhausted. Alan’s nose was even redder now, and there was a little stream of thick mucus leaking out one of Alan’s nostrils, not stopping no matter how much Alan sniffled or wiped it. 

“Let me help you with your shoes, you just relax, okay?” he said gently as he stood up, grabbing Alan’s shoes and bending down to put them on Alan’s little feet while Alan watched him, sniffling before blowing his nose. It wasn’t a pleasant sound, it sounded just as wet and damp as it looked.

He sighed, his heart hurting so much for his baby brother, “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were feeling so bad, baby…” he said once he was done tying Alan’s shoelaces, looking up at Alan with an apologetic look. “And I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you when you tried to tell me…”

Alan sniffled, rubbing his nose a couple times, looking at him with tired watery eyes “Id’s ohay…” Alan mumbled softly before coughing into his elbow. Alan shuttered, groaning in misery.

He frowned and sighed, standing back up and picked up Alan’s bag and threw it over his shoulder. Before leaning forward and picking Alan up, supporting him on his hip and giving Alan a little hug as he did so...

Alan’s head collapsed tiredly against his shoulder, his arms wrapping around his neck, his eyes seeming to start to flicker between open and shut. “Let get you home, shall we?” he whispered softly, kissing Alan’s temple. 

He quickly signed Alan out school and walked out of the sickbay, heading toward his car. Alan was sniffling into his neck, and now that he was holding Alan, he could feel the heat radiating from him. Yeah, his baby brother did have a fever...

He would have to stop by the chemist on the way home to get some much needed cold supplies, he knew this cold would be shared around the family. It was a bit unavailable, so he wanted to be ready.

Though there goes the new paint job he wanted to get for his car, he thought bittersweetly as he unlocked his car, putting Alan’s school bag in the boot. Though it wasn’t a question which was more important to him, Alan would always come first, his brothers always came first. 

He opened the backseat door and gently lowered Alan into his booster seat. Alan groaned, looking up at him with tired, sleepy eyes. “you’re okay, Allie?” He asked, giving Alan a little smile as he made sure Alan’s seat restraints were tight and secure.

Alan shook his head weakly, coughing a couple of time into his elbow before pulling away with a groan. “By head hurts...” Alan said, his nose dripping, making Alan sniffle and sniffle in a futile attempt to stop it from running. “and by tummy hurts and my dose hurts too!” 

“shhh, I know...” He said gently, brushing Alan’s fringe away from his forehead. “I know you’re feeling terrible Allie, i’ll get you to bed soon, promise baby...” he tenderly kissed Alan’s forehead. “we just have to stop at the chemist quickly on the way home, okay?” 

Alan’s shoulders slumped in disappointment, a pout on his lips “..Ohay...” Alan nodded with a shiver before quickly grabbing out a used tissue from his pocket and sneezing to it a couple times and using it to wipe at his nose as well, the dampness of the tissue obviously irritating Alan’s nose more. Alan groaned in misery. 

He frowned, he should have grabbed some tissues for Alan back at the sickbay, so he had some fresh ones, he thought with a concerned frown. Did he have any tissues in his car? Wait! Yes, he did! He was sure he had some in his glove box!

He closed the back seat door and walked around to the driver's side and got in. He reached over to the glove box and grabbed a small packet of travel tissues out of it. “Here, use them if you need them, okay?” He said as he handed Alan the packet of tissues.

Alan nodded, already opening them and using them on his sensitive runny, drippy nose. He sighed sadly, turning back around and turning the car on, keeping an eye on Alan through his car’s rearview mirror as he backed out. As they turned on to the main road, Alan started sneezing and sneezing, with no end in sight, the tissues begin to dwindle with each sniffle, nose blow and sneeze.

At this rate, he would have to buy about five whole boxes of tissues…

[summerbreezeyy]

Love, Huh? - Chapter 2

.

.

"You done?" Sehun said knocking on the bathroom door.

For the last 2 weeks you've been in this hospital, woke up after almost 3 days since you passed out. Sehun cried -which something you haven't seen in a long time and made you cry too realizing how much you actually hurt him by being hurt- when you opened your eyes. And since then you have never been alone even though the boys were currently preparing for their new album. Some days it would be Kyungsoo who would make sure not even a piece of rice was left on your plates and also would sneak in some snacks for you to eat, the rest of the days would be Chanyeol who would show you funny videos or make you listen to songs they've made but yet released. And then Sehun, who would with one of the guys and never came alone. He would only sit silently on the sofa, looking at you somehow with worried, angry, and guilty looks at the same time while his friends would talk with you. He would only say something when talked to. Truth was, he felt guilty for not sensing anything wrong. He was also very mad at himself for not being able to protect you, something he always promised you since you became friends.

They would work on their album in your hospital room while telling you to eat, rest, and sleep. When the day you finally could go home, well to the guys' apartment since you don't really have other place to stay at -and they were very adamant they wouldn’t have it any other way-, Sehun picked you up alone, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had to record their parts he informed.

You looked at the mirror to see fading marks on your neck, arms, and face. The stitches were also fading, you almost looked normal. Maybe your body was becoming normal, but you haven’t dare to explore your emotions of what happened 2 weeks ago. You could only hope time would help you heal your heart. The guys surprisingly didn’t bombard you with questions right as you woke up. You knew you owe them some explanations and that their heads were full of questions.

You straightened your clothes -well Kyungsoo’s since all of yours were still at your place and his fits the best since the other two are basically giants- and again looked at the mirror. Somehow, looking at your almost healed wounds made your heart wrenched. You questioned yourself, how could you let him do what he did to you? Better one, why would you do things that pushed him to do what he did?

“Hey, you okay in there?” Sehun’s voice outside grew worried when you didn’t respond.

When you opened the door and saw his face, you couldn’t hold yourself to throw yourself into his arms. You hugged him tight putting your ear on heart to hear the sound of it beating, something you realized was something very calming and pleasant. He was stunned at first, before embracing your body, sharing his body and heart’s warmth.

Both of you stayed still in this position with him stroking your hair giving you more comfort before he pulled back and held your face in his palms with you still hugging his waist, needing his presence more than ever before. “You okay?” he said softly, looking deep into you.

You nodded before continuing “I just ... Thank you. For everything.”

“Anything for you, shorty” he smiled kissing the top of your head.

“Hey I was taller than you in middle school. Not my fault you grew up to be a pole.”

.

After some convincing and promises you would leave if he was home and Sehun muttering something like “I hope he’s home so I could show him what broken ribs feel like”, he drove you to your shared apartment with your boyfriend -well ex to be exact- to get your essential items, like your IDs, passport, etc.

Judging by the police line that was still sealed at your door, it did’t look like someone has returned to this house. After getting rid of the tape, you punched in your code with shaking hands, can’t help but to have flashbacks about the nights of your pain. Sehun noticed this and held your other hand in his. And when the door finally opened he took the first step and entered with you behind him. When his eyes spotted the broken glass and trace of dried blood his jaw clenched and his grip tightened.

Concluding no one was really home with the lack of sound and light, he asked where’s your bedroom and lead you both there.

“Um.. Sehun, you probably need to let go of my hand for me so I can work faster.”

He reluctantly did and you took the bag you didn’t finish pack that night. You put in your wallets, laptop, notes, clothes and some stuff you just wanted to bring along. Like hell you were gonna leave your SK-II essence or Anastasia Beverly Hills palette. “You forced me to drive you here just for your skincare and makeup?” Sehun teased with his arms crossed leaning his form to the doorframe.

“These are very expensive alright. Why don’t you make yourself useful and help me find my phone. It should be in the living room somewhere,” you replied while grabbing your huge ass suitcase to fit in more stuff. 

“Just buy a new one.”

“All of my contacts are there. And also tons of pictures I’m not willing to let go of.”

He rolled his eyes and started to move towards the living room. “Like what? Nudes?” 

“I think we both know who likes to take racy pictures out of the two of us.”

“Hey that wasn’t meant for you alright.”

Sehun came back after a few minutes, “Your screen’s broken.”

“Ah dang. Are you busy today? Could we like stop by the mall to fix it or get a new one or something?” You asked looking up while crouching next to the bed, trying to reach whatever was under the bed.

“Free as a bird. You need help?”

“Nope. I.... got it,” you said pulling out a black box.

“Let me guess, your sex toys.”

“Oh honey, if I were into sex toys I wouldn’t just have one box, I’d make a room dedicated to them, Fifty Shades style.”

He snickered and got to his knee, watching you opening up the box. When you did though, he was shocked to see that it was completely filled with money. “Never heard of the bank missy?”

You shrugged, “Just feel safer to have cash than cards.” You put the box in your luggage. Deciding you’ve taken everything you bought with your own money and leaving all he gave you, you closed it. 

“All done?” Sehun grabbed your luggage and your other bag. 

“Yes.” And with that you got up. You were almost out of the door before you remembered something, “Wait!” Sehun looked behind only to see you taking some shoes with you. You grinned at him, showing him a worn out pair of shoes “This is the shoes you bought me with your first paycheck!”

He broke into a huge smile before turning on his heels, telling you to come out fast. Before you close the door to your past, you looked once into what caused you pain and happiness for the last year. 

.

“Have you called the guys about we’re eating out?” you asked Sehun as you finished ordering your food. He nodded at your question. “By the way, this is very private. Is this where celebrities go on dates?”

“Well the owner is also an idol, so he knows how hard it is for us to even just hangout with friends, let alone dating. Well for those who don’t want scandals yes, this is the safest place with private rooms and all.” You nodded at his explanation.

Both of you stayed quiet after that. Sehun looked like he wanted to ask you about everything but always stopped himself before he did. When you finished your food, you took a deep breath and called his name, making him look away from his leftover food he was playing with and looked into your eyes.

“Ask.” you commanded.

Sehun paused before asking “When did you quit Junmyeon hyung’s company?” Okay he’s starting light

“Almost a year ago I think.”

“Why? Was it.. him?” Sehun whispered the last word, clearly trying to avoid the sensitive topic.

“He did ask me to quit. But that wasn’t the main reason.”

“And what was it? I thought working at his company was your dream?”

“Well yes. Kinda irrelevant, but before we move on, the company is not his, it’s Mr. Kim Minseok’s.”

“But they’re brothers, the company is their family’s.”

“Yeah but technically Mr. Kim’s the one who ran the whole company, and on the other hand Mr. Kim deals with the magazine, not their....” you stopped talking as you caught Sehun’s unfazed face, clearly not caring about which Kim brothers was the owner. You sighed and continued, “I just felt uncomfortable with both of them that’s all.”

“What? What did they do?”

“Good things. Too good things. They would bring me food, offer me to lunch and dinner, giving souvenirs whenever they’re back from trips, giving me rides home, and all.”

Sehun’s brow furrowed deeper. “And what’s wrong with that?”

“What would you feel if you CEO sent you a flower bouquet and medicines because you were sick the day before or your supervisor’s boss chatting up to you at lunch like your best friends?”

“Happy?” 

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Normal people would feel uncomfortable. Cause other employees would talk, okay.”

“Did they? Talk? About you?”

“Oh yes they did.”

“Like what?”

“Like how I slept with both of them to get my job, which we both know isn’t true since you force-introduced me to them 2 months after I got hired. And it’s not like they weren’t professional on working time tho. I get scolded when my job wasn’t satisfactory, but gossip’s definitely more fun than fact so, I decided to quit and to start writing again. And it’s not like I needed more money. As you saw earlier I got enough and my boy.. ex-boyfriend is very rich like I told you.”

“Right, your ex.”

“Ask away, blondie.”

“Was it.. the first time?” he asked carefully.

“No.” You saw him blinked and clenched his jaw. 

“Did he do it.... often?”

“No,” you contemplated on how to tell him, and the only way for it to make sense is to tell from the beginning. “Okay, this is gonna be long. Questions after I’m done kay?” 

“Okay.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath before starting your story. “Okay, so did you realized after the initial meeting between you, me, him, Chan and Soo oppa we don’t meet that often?” He nodded “And even when we did meet I asked you not to bring your bandmates cause I ‘wanted to spend more time with you’?” Again he nodded. “And did you notice how he got very touchy and would always keep his hands on me when we hung out?” At this he just looked at you confused. “Guess why.” 

You let him think and analyze the whole thing. It took him a couple of second before he got it. “He was jealous.”

This time you nodded. “When we got home after the first meeting, he was saying things like how all three of you have crushes on me and like me more than just friends, and how we’re too close as friends and stuff. So I argued back and we had a big fight that night which ended up giving me a broken rib and nose. I was ready to leave him. But he begged and apologized. And me being the stupid girl that I am, stayed. His jealousy didn’t get better tho, but he never hit me like that again. But in turn, when he got jealous he would be.. um.. really rough in bed. Like choking, spanking, and not the good kind. If he’s jealous I won’t be able to walk the next day because of the pain and forming bruises. And he got jealous of everything. Our calls, facetime, me talking about any of you, or even just admiring celebrities. But I thought, at least he didn’t hurt me outside of bed you know.”

You looked at Sehun’s red ears and his clenched fists on the table. You reached over and took his left one in your right, squeezing it lightly as if saying ‘But I’m okay now, don’t worry’

"He kinda tolerated you, since he knows how much you mean to me, and also because I told him you're gay, which he didn't believe somehow. So he just forced himself not to be jealous when we hang out or talk. But for Chanyeol and Kyungsoo oppa, honestly I did avoid them. I think I was afraid of what he would do to me if I didn’t. But then the night before it happened, we ran into each other. And I’m pretty sure you all noticed how he got very protective of me since you jokingly said ‘chill dude, we’re not gonna take her’ which, he didn’t find funny by the way, he thought you were mocking him. When we were home, again we fought. And when he got angrier I threatened him I'd leave if he ever laid his hands on me again. So he left. At first I thought I was safe, we were okay. But then the club owner called and informed me that my ex spent the night at the club and was drinking a lot. The owner is a friend, so he called just to make sure everything’s okay. But when he told me my ex has been drinking more than he should, I had a feeling it would go bad. And that’s why I called you. But before you could pick up, he came home. We fought again, but I kept my space. I warned him again and again and again about leaving him. And he seemed to calm down, before my phone rings, and he saw the caller and he snapped.” You stopped, knowing it’s gonna be the hardest part to tell.

Sehun’s eyes doubled in size. Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. It was him who called.

You took both his hands, “And it’s not your fault. Never yours. Don’t you dare blaming yourself okay.”

His lips trembled, but he told himself he had to be strong for you. No matter how terrible this was for him, you still had it the hardest. So he let go of your hands and moved beside you. He looked to your eyes deeply and ask, “Were you scared?”

“Very.” And with that he took you in his arms.

You didn’t realize it, but you found yourself crying and sobbing on his chest. Finally you crumbled down. You felt broken and worthless. Maybe you did deserve all the hitting. Maybe you weren’t good enough for him or anybody.

You cried for few minutes before calming down. You pulled away and he wiped your tears. “You also can’t blame yourself for what happened. This is all him. You are amazing, beautiful, and deserve someone who treats you like the queen you are,” he stated, knowing fully well you were putting yourself down. “Don’t discredit yourself. You’re perfect just like how you are.”

Then he hugged you again, you let yourself be embraced into his grasp, letting him mend your broken heart.

[glasswingsndreamz]

Jealousy Only Breeds More Jealousy (2)

Fandom: The Outer Worlds

Pairing: Felix Millstone x Reader

AO3 Link

Chapter Summary: You're having a real rough time. At least Nyoka has put her plans into action. You're just not sure how you feel about it.

“Wow, I didn’t know you would be that bad at flirting. I thought you were kidding,” Nyoka snickered to herself as she recalled all the failed attempts you had at the bar. Just thinking about it sent her into another fit of giggles.

“Please never bring that up again. I don’t even want to think about that,” you said with a groan as you helped lead her back to the ship. You’d never be able to show off your face at that specific bar again.

Perhaps you should have listened to Nyoka and had a couple of drinks to help loosen up. Then it might have gotten rid of your nerves and you might have avoided embarrassing yourself when somebody tried hooking up with you at the bar. He was even a cute fella which only added onto your nervousness. The guy was even sweet enough to buy you a drink and continue a conversation with you as you fumbled with what to say to him. Then you just had to accidentally spill the drink he purchased on his lap. Nyoka was already having the time of her life laughing at your misfortune, only for it to turn into hysterics when you embarrassed yourself further by accidentally elbow the guy in the face and give him a nosebleed.

Yeah it wasn’t a good experience.

So it was an understatement to say you were relieved when you finally made it to the ship after hauling Nyoka all the way there as her support.

“I promise I’ll help you next time,” Nyoka said, when you brought her back to her room.

“Jeez you both look like a wreck. What have you two been up to?” Ellie said, catching sight of you and Nyoka.

Nyoka did her best to stifle her laughter at the question, absolutely replaying what happened in her mind again. You could feel your face heating up in embarrassment as Nyoka explained what happened at the bar in between her fits of giggles.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d actually go after someone else.” Ellie said, a hint of amusement on her face. At least she didn’t laugh out right in your face at how badly you managed to fuck up.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you asked.

“At least half the crew knew about your little crush on Felix. I’m just glad you’re over it now. I never really got why you were interested in him in the first place.”

“You have to be joking. Please tell me nobody else knows about my crush,” you practically beg, hoping it’s all an elaborate prank.

“Wait. Don’t tell me you still like him.”

You couldn’t look her in the eye.

She sighed as if disappointed. Your lack of a response was enough of a confirmation to her. “Y’know, I really don’t understand it. At least go through with it and confess to him or something. We’re all getting sick of the way you look at him like a lovesick puppy. It’s disgusting.”

Well that certainly did nothing to help ease the uncomfortable feeling that had been lingering for hours now.

“Ohh forget about her. Don’t even worry about it. I have a plan. I have a plan for you. It’s gonna be fantastic,” Nyoka reassured you, slapping you on the back. The fact that she was drunk did not ease your fears in the slightest either.

“Yeah, thanks Nyoka,” you said as you lead her to her bed. She fell back on the bed, nearly passing out immediately as soon as most of her body was on top of the surface. With a groan you fixed her legs so she was laying horizontally on her bed instead of nearly falling off. By that time she was already deep in sleep. Gripping one of her boots in your hand, you tugged back on it and slid it off her foot and set it beside her bed and did the same with the other boot she wore.

Feeling even more worn out than before, you turned off the light in Nyoka’s room, shutting the door behind you and finally returning to your own quarters on the ship.

You barely had the energy to slip off your clothes and change into something more comfortable to sleep in. It was a relief when your head finally hit the pillow and you pulled the covers up to your chin.

Tomorrow you would brush off today’s events. Tomorrow you would move on and it would be a better day. At least that’s what you hoped for as you drifted off to sleep.

---

The next day was not much better. In fact it was a far worse, but in a very different way.

“Wow, I’m glad we didn’t stay for lunch,” Felix said as you, Nyoka and him exited the house, blood stained on all of your clothes. It nearly took all your restraint to keep the bile from rising in your throat. You swallowed back the burning acrid taste of it.

It wasn’t the first time you had killed a human being. Far from it at this point.

We killed a family.

Sure they were cannibals. Sure they were even going to feed you human flesh without any of you knowing. Most likely they were going to kill and eat all three of you two if you hadn’t killed your way out of it. Even if you hadn’t discovered the body upstairs.

They would have killed us if we didn’t fight back.

You take deep breaths as you try to block the images of the gruesomeness of it out of your mind. Their children seemed to be innocent for the most part. That’s what made it so much worse. It was as if the son had no clue what was going on. Fuck.

Fuck.

“Boss?” Felix is the first to notice. His voice was soft, cautious and the way he’s looking at you makes you feel crushed. He looks alarmed, almost a mix of fear and shock. It’s then that you notice the wetness on your cheeks.

“Hey, hey, you’re alright,” Nyoka said, moving to your side and gently rubbing your back. “It’s okay. We didn’t have a choice...”

"Yeah, who knows what might have happened if we just left them," Felix joined in, both companions now crowded around you. After all, it was a rare occurrence to see their captain so vulnerable.

It was meant to be reassuring, a comfort to hear, but you knew it was a lie. You could have just gone out the other door that lead to the balcony. You could have retrieved Braxton’s ID and left. Even then you would have been haunted. The question of whether or not they would continue to kill others and eat the evidence. It had to be stopped and you chose to end it before anything else could happen. Still the voice in the back of your head nagged at you, asking questions that made you want to scream. What if you could have done something different? What if you could have convinced them to stop?

It didn’t matter now. You had made your choice and you would have to accept the consequences that came with the blood on your hands.

The tears wouldn't stop no matter how hard you tried to keep them at bay. It was the first time your crew members had seen you cry. In fact it was the first time you've cried since you left the Hope. It wasn't just this situation that caused you to break. Everything that had lead up to this point crashed into you. This was just the last crack in the wall that sent everything crumbling.

---

It took a couple day to push down the events from the other day. It was enough for you to collect your bearings and return to your duties. There were things that needed to be done whether you were up for it or not. Besides you had faced worse and lived through it all the same. This was no different. It was almost strange how much easier it was getting to handle the horrible situations you kept running into. The crew all seemed to pick up on your emotions, once you returned to the ship, each of them offering their support in their own way. Both Nyoka and Felix kept a close eye on you, doing their best to cheer you up and keep your mind off of things. They probably thought it was only because of the other day since you didn't bother to explain the mental breakdown you had in front of them. Their kindness was more than what you could ask for.

Now you were ready to move on and most likely bottle everything up again until the next bursting point came along.

“I’m so sorry,” you said when you returned Braxton’s ID tag to Velma and explained what became of the worker. It was a horrible situation which made you feel even worse for what you were about to ask for next.

“I know I mentioned this before and I’m sorry to ask, but could we get that poster Grimm has been asking for?” you asked in a rush, already feeling anxious about having to ask for it after reporting her friend’s death.

“Yeah, yeah. I guess it’s only right after what you did,” Velma said.

Inwardly you cringed at how defeated she looked when she handed over the poster you had been trying to get your hands on since the moment you landed on this headache-inducing planet.

Awwwww, poor Nell, you thought as you tried to conceal your smile. It was petty but you couldn't help but feel giddy that you had actually bested her in the situation. Besides, from what you had heard, Grimm seemed much more desperate for it considering how persistent he's been. Besides, you agreed to help him out first anyway.

"Hey Grimm, we got your poster finally. Sorry it took a while," you said once you found him near the landing dock. It wasn't difficult considering he was almost exactly in the same place you first met him.

It was cute how excited he was when you handed it over.

"Wow! I really can't thank you enough," Grimm said ecstatically. "Here, you've earned them."

"Actually," Nyoka interrupted before he could finish pulling out his bit cartridges. "I think there's something else you could do for the captain," she said, giving you a wink.

Oh no.

"Oh sure. What can I do for you?" He asked with a kind smile. His gaze landed on you expectantly, as if you knew what the hell Nyoka was talking about.

“Why don’t you take our lovely captain out to the bar tonight and spend those bits on them there,” Nyoka suggested innocently.

“Like a date?” Grimm asked.

“Exactly!”

“Well I get off around six, if you don’t mind waiting until then. Did you want to meet there?” he asked you.

“Y-yeah that sounds fine,” you said, taking a moment to respond as you struggled to form words. Of course Nyoka would have something like this planned, and in front of Felix too! It would feel too rude to say no now after he already agreed to it. You hadn’t even been the one to ask Grimm out and yet you still felt guilt creeping into your gut. There was curiosity too, chanting for you to look and see how Felix reacted. The idea that he might not even care at all is what kept you staring straight ahead.

“Woah boss, you’re really gonna go out with someone who made us do his dirty work?”

Looks like you wouldn’t even have to guess how he felt about it after all.

“Huh? It was just a poster, Felix. It’s not a big deal,” you said, genuinely surprised by the outburst. When you turn to face him, he seems not at all pleased by the escalating situation, but he doesn’t add anything more to the conversation.

“I’ll see you later then,” Grimm said.

Fuck, his smile was really cute.

“I’ve gotta say captain, it took you long enough to finally get a date,” Nyoka joked when you all made it back to the ship, earning an unamused look from you.

“I still don’t know why you agreed to it. The guy’s a moron,” Felix said.

You decided to ignore the irony in that.

“I don’t know. He seems like their type,” Nyoka smirked at you. “He’s cute, dumb, and nice enough.”

“Sounds like they have bad taste.”

Nyoka burst into laughter at Felix’s comment. Turning around, you headed towards your quarters as you attempted to force yourself to stop blushing. After all, you had a date to get ready for later.

[punkscowardschampions]

Joe & Ronnie

Joe: [St Patrick's Day 2016] Joe: Ron Joe: Come back, I ain't going 'til tomorrow Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: go now what the fuck does it matter Joe: It matters to me Joe: every fucking second away does and I don't care if you know it Ronnie: then dont Joe: I missed Christmas, they don't care that I bullshitted I had the flu Joe: had to do everything to stop them flying over to get me, and it was my sister's 16th so they're all on one about how long it's been Ronnie: and I dont care if they believe your bullshit or not Ronnie: I care that youre a useless cunt Ronnie: I care that youre being a fucking pussy Joe: I know you do Joe: I'm sorry or I didn't ask you to, the end result is the same 'cos I can't fucking not go, s'been months, any longer they will do something about it and fuck that Ronnie: get out of my fucking face mckenna Ronnie: youre not worth shit to me like this Joe: I don't want to and you didn't want me to five seconds 'fore you slammed the door in my face so Ronnie: give a shit what you want Ronnie: grow a pair while youre there or dont bother coming back like Joe: that's what you want, yeah? Ronnie: like you care Ronnie: go ask your ma what she wants Ronnie: or your sister Ronnie: shes legal to fuck now what do you need me for Joe: I want to make you happy, not them Ronnie: I told you what to fucking do Joe: I reckon I've got a better idea Ronnie: are you gonna say it Joe: come with me Ronnie: thats not funny Joe: I'm not trying to be Ronnie: it better be a fucking joke Joe: why not? Ronnie: fuck you Ronnie: you know every reason why not Joe: so it wouldn't make you even a bit happy to fuck her family up Joe: say you don't care but you do enough to hate her Ronnie: shut up Ronnie: I hate you Joe: go on then, do it and I won't be able to go back Joe: then you can chuck me if you hate me so much and I'll have nothing but another bad habit Ronnie: I aint the kind of sister to fight your battles for you Joe: now who's being pussy Joe: I'm ready to do it Joe: tell them everything Joe: show 'em Joe: what's the issue Ronnie: still you Ronnie: thats the issue Ronnie: you think you want it til I start it Joe: Name one thing you've started that I ain't wanted Ronnie: there aint a name for this Ronnie: you dont get it Ronnie: and youre not ready for it Joe: fuck that Joe: I don't love them I love you Joe: don't get involved then, I'm trying to give you something here Joe: but if I stop going, then they'll come, and it'll just happen here Ronnie: youre trying to give yourself something Ronnie: but I aint no performing monkey and you cant put me back in my box when you start shitting yourself Ronnie: there wont be one Ronnie: there wont be fuck all left Joe: Good Joe: what about me says that I want anything Joe: there's always heroin Ronnie: you want me to get arrested then yeah Ronnie: get rid of me like that Joe: I won't let that happen Joe: I'd take the blame before it did Ronnie: youre not listening Ronnie: you wont have any control Ronnie: you dont Ronnie: not over me Joe: I don't need any Joe: I don't want to control you Joe: I want you to do exactly what you want Joe: to me, to them, to the fucking world, that's what I always want Joe: you don't have to come, I thought you wanted to, wanted this Ronnie: stop flirting with me you sick fuck Ronnie: I cant think Joe: it's gone beyond flirting Joe: you've got 'til tomorrow to think Joe: come back Joe: please Ronnie: stop telling me what to fucking do Ronnie: or not do Ronnie: fucks sake Joe: I'm just saying if you don't come then I'll do it on my own Joe: that's just how it is Joe: I don't wanna do it no more, go back, not be here, with you Joe: pretend, more than I have to Ronnie: like fuck are you doing it without me Ronnie: the look on her face thats mine not yours Ronnie: a life for a life Joe: then it's settled Joe: come back though, I know Charlie and Bronson have got fuck all decent in to calm you down Ronnie: theyve got fuck all of anything now like Ronnie: having it in me already is the only reason youre getting words off me instead of a boot in your face Joe: gutted Joe: just for them, before you accuse me of flirting with you again Ronnie: yeah didnt reckon youd follow through on that Joe: if you'd come home I could give you everything you want Joe: close enough that it don't matter no more Ronnie: if I make it that easy neither of us will want it Ronnie: stop fucking crying Joe: what did they have then, make me cry some more with a trip report Ronnie: nursery school shit Ronnie: talk to me about this show and tell you wanna put on Joe: so my dad owns this pub, yeah Joe: st paddy's obviously best day and night of the year for business Joe: it'll be packed Ronnie: no shit Joe: do more damage if there's a crowd to hear and see Ronnie: then what Joe: depends Joe: loads of ways you could do it Joe: it's pretty obvious on both counts what we're trying to say together Joe: leave the rest up to you Ronnie: I know what I'm gonna do Ronnie: I don't trust you to pussy out first chance you get Ronnie: not* Joe: tell me Ronnie: I dont do foreplay Ronnie: fuck alls changed that much since I walked out Joe: alright Joe: could accuse you of being a tease about it but I can wait Ronnie: all those pint glasses on offer are the tease when you know how I feel about glass Ronnie: better lover than you Joe: won't take it personal Joe: made you look this good and I get to look so Ronnie: it only matters that you do take it baby Joe: whatever you give me Joe: and obviously, all this Joe: [drug haul!] Joe: i need to be comatose with you Ronnie: you shouldve started with the offer of that threesome Ronnie: Id be back ages ago Joe: if I made it that easy.. Ronnie: 🖕 Joe: alright, come get yours Joe: hurry up Joe: she's staring at me Ronnie: Im not your bitch Ronnie: Ill be there when im done ✂🪒 Joe: you wanna give them something to remember you by? Ronnie: theyll remember Joe: you gonna bleed for me too though Ronnie: im only doing my hair Ronnie: fuck all else is as fun without an audience Ronnie: dont get excited Joe: awh, you do care Ronnie: do you want me to cut your tongue out so you dont sound as rem as you look tomorrow Ronnie: care about that Joe: ✋🤚 long as you leave all ten relatively unscathed Ronnie: gotta leave myself something Ronnie: youre a shit enough ride already Ronnie: do I sound 🍀 now Joe: exactly like my exes Joe: well about it Ronnie: dont go round saying you were a virgin Ronnie: *nt Ronnie: more embarrassing Joe: oh, reckoned part of your big show was saying you deflowered me Joe: they're gonna be horrified enough though Ronnie: theyd believe it if you wanna go that far with the show Joe: don't reckon that's your plan Joe: but an interesting one Joe: I'll 🤔 on it Ronnie: your ma dont turn me on but neither do you so Id give it a shot Ronnie: reckon youll be horny enough for all of us Joe: the shit will have worn off by then, don't remind me Ronnie: how longs the flight? Joe: hour and a half, bit under Ronnie: 💔 Joe: I know Joe: long enough that all the mile-high cliches are gonna flood right back in Joe: more of a flight risk, should let me have my drugs instead Ronnie: no batteries no sharp objects no point Joe: you're hard to please, my dear Joe: and well selective Joe: the air hostesses, less so if they're even gonna consider it Ronnie: 💘 Joe: you want me to tell 'em you're coming or element of surprise Joe: what's your poison Ronnie: long as it eats away at her I dont give a shit Ronnie: tell em Ronnie: how excited I am Joe: 👍 Joe: on it Ronnie: lay it on well thick Ronnie: make sure theyve all got the taste in their mouths Joe: I know how to breed hope Joe: look at my shining education and musical genius Ronnie: almost hot til you ruined it Joe: one day I'll get you Ronnie: chuck your empty promises at that lot Joe: not the point no more Joe: don't just need my ✋🤚 for you Joe: string for my supper 'til I choke, that's the plan 🎻💉 Joe: can put my diploma on their wall if they want but give a fuck Ronnie: use it for roll ups Ronnie: like a hotel bible Joe: you're really gonna be that hot and not be here Joe: sounds like you Ronnie: it only gets hot when you start thinking about what poison youre gonna lace the 🚬 with Joe: you ever smoked wet? Ronnie: you wanna pop my 🍒 Joe: yeah Joe: only fair Ronnie: who plays fair Joe: hallucinations, disorientation, impaired coordination, paranoia, sexual disinhibition, and visual disturbances Joe: don't play 'cos it's fair, play 'cos it's fun Ronnie: alright you got me Joe: say again Joe: I can get that over there Joe: can smoke some 'fore the show Ronnie: sexual disinhibition Ronnie: thas the show you want Ronnie: I called it Joe: sue me Joe: or worse, obviously 🔪😍 Ronnie: 💉 Ronnie: Ill play and Im leaving Ronnie: dont start todays show without me Joe: you don't have enough hair to be taking this long Ronnie: I was using a broken mirror Joe: Charlie'll be fuming Ronnie: so was I when I broke it Joe: got all the shards out? Ronnie: not my first time Ronnie: youre getting 🍒 greedy now Joe: could've distracted me from the bag with a video or something Joe: you're being selfish, alternative title Ronnie: [sends him something only theyd be into, lord knows] Ronnie: take what youre given and lick it up Ronnie: im not a fucking charity Joe: 👅 Ronnie: ill bring you a shard to put on it the fun can really start Joe: 💘 Ronnie: you can fuck off calling me selfish like Joe: I'll take it back when I feel it Ronnie: yeah Ronnie: you will Joe: you still hate me, like Ronnie: only fair baby Joe: of course Joe: what kind of sick fuck Ronnie: theyll be lining up to tell you tomorrow Joe: might be worth sticking around for Joe: shame, they would make it fun when I'm trying to leave Ronnie: the lads mustve got that memo Ronnie: nothing more fun than a street fight Ronnie: gimme a sec to knock em out Joe: playing nice better or worse than playing fair Ronnie: you tell me soft lad Ronnie: youve had it up to the back teeth Joe: definitely worse Joe: fair was never a big concern with them but less soul-destroying Ronnie: ill rip mine all out before I use em to smile nice Ronnie: playing the way anyone else wants aint a big concern Joe: 🦷🦷 more useful than 👅 Ronnie: dont cry I wont I know what you like Joe: what did I do to deserve you eh Ronnie: you dont Joe: very true Ronnie: but your fucked family deserve me and ill let you watch Joe: suits me Ronnie: yeah you get everything you want Ronnie: this aint any different Joe: got a load of shit I don't want too, that makes up for it Ronnie: not gonna watch you cry fuck joining in Joe: just be here then Ronnie: im coming Joe: shouldn't have gone in the first place Ronnie: thats your fucking fault Joe: yeah Joe: but don't leave me Ronnie: if I wanted you gone Id kill you Joe: you're so considerate Joe: any time Ronnie: you aint getting out of tomorrow Ronnie: ill strap your rotting corpse into a plane seat before I go on my fucking own Joe: I want to be there Joe: and I wouldn't make you go alone either way Ronnie: mckenna Joe: what Ronnie: dont fuck it up Joe: that's your role Joe: is there anything you actually want me to do or just watch Ronnie: stay out of my way Joe: done Ronnie: 💘