#5 seconds of summer angst imagine

[ifancyharry]

Close As Strangers

what it is: Harry has been away for six months and YN wants to move on - based on Close As Strangers by 5 seconds of summer!!

word count: 4k+

Harry hurried down the hallway all the way to his room, sliding the key card against the key-reader, unlocking the door and pushing it open with his palms pressed against it.

He quickly removed his shoes, tossing them near the door, before plopping down on the hotel bed, his back against the headboard.

He fished out of his skinny jeans his phone, grimacing at the screen that read 3 missed calls from ‘Angel <3’.

He sighed as he unlocked it, typing hurriedly the number he knew by heart on the keyboard, and putting it on speaker, too tired to hold the phone to his shoulder for the call.

He waited for her to pick up as he listened to the incessant ringing of the line.

“Pick up, pick up” he whispered, biting at the skin of his thumb to suppress his sighs.

He knew he was late. And he felt like he could only imagine the disappointment YN felt when he didn’t answer her call.

He and YN had picked out a specific time throughout the day where the both of them had to be available. No matter what the other was doing, at 7 o’clock they had to answer the phone, which was a pretty understandable rule, and Harry had found it easy to comply to it at first, excusing himself to take a call or getting covered by his band mates if he couldn’t make up an excuse quickly enough. But with time, his schedule had gotten really busy.

And he sometimes missed her calls.

He wasn’t the fresh out of XFactor sixteen year old he’d been when they first started dating. He was Harry from One Direction now, and despite him feeling as the same shy guy that worked in a bakery, life around him had changed, and with it, his relationship.

He knew how she was; he knew she wasn’t answering because she was upset. And Harry really didn’t blame her, but he just didn’t find it reasonable to be upset (“stubborn little thing! — he’d say, once she had calmed down and answered the phone — It doesn’t benefit neither of us if you don’t pick up ‘cause you’re mad!”).

He rolled his eyes once the line went dead, and opened the text app instead, typing quickly with his fingers.

Baby pick up I wanna talk to you

After a couple of minutes, he wrote again: please

I miss you

And after that, he tried the line once again. This time, she picked up after five rings with a small “hello?”, her voice sounded croaky distorted from the phone.

“Hello angel. I’m sorry I didn’t answer.”

“It’s okay”, and Harry felt her sigh through the phone, “i was thinking we should push back the calls until you’re back…”

“What?”

“I know you’re pretty busy,” she said, sternly, “and I don’t want to bother you.”

“What?” Harry repeated, and once he realised he already asked that, he cleared his voice and said: “you could never be a bother”.

YN couldn’t see him but she knew he was shaking his head. She tried not to picture the frown in his brows and the pout on his lips, otherwise she couldn’t possibly keep going.

“Things are different now—”

“No.” He cut her off, “don’t say that, angel. Nothing’s changed. It’s still us.”

“Harry” she softened her tone to make sure he really understood her, “it’s still us. — she nodded firmly to herself — I think it’s best if we stick to texting for now. It’s okay.”

“Okay… okay, if that’s - if that’s what you want. Okay.”

“It’s better this way” she sighed once again and Harry felt her breathing through the phone, her shaky breath loud in his ears as if it were his own.

“But we’re good, right? Tell me we’re good.”

“Yes, of course we’re good.”

Harry nodded, staying quiet as the words she’d just spoken lingered in the air between them. Despite being so far away he could almost feel her right next to him as she kept talking, unaware of the heavy weight he felt on his chest making it a little harder to breathe, the sudden realisation that maybe they weren’t good after all.

-

Harry:

Good luck on your exam baby xx

Harry typed the message quickly before locking his phone in his hands.

“1 minute, guys!” Paul reminded them, and for the first time in three years, Harry didn’t want to perform.

YN had a really big exam, the most important of her course, and his heart ached at the thought of not being there with her. He didn’t want to go on stage, and if he was a bad person, he wouldn’t. He would call his driver and go straight to the airport. But Harry wasn’t like that. No.

Since the beginning of his career, he always felt like he owed something to someone, because as he often said to YN, things like this don’t happen to people like him. What he meant with ‘people like him’ no one truly knows, because YN is sure Harry would be successful even if he wasn’t in the band, even if he never went to XFactor, he would have found a way to do what he loves. People would’ve known him either way, because he’s Harry Styles.

And if he didn’t… was it that bad? Wasn’t a life with her not enough to him? She often wonders that, but then she feels extremely guilty and she stops. She knows it’s wrong to think in such a way, because Harry says many times that that XFactor audition was the best thing he ever did in his life, but sometimes you can’t really control your heart as much as your thoughts.

“Harry, stop texting and let’s go!” Paul shouted, from his position on the doorframe.

Sometimes it’s though, for Harry. He tries really hard not to snap at the crew members because he knows they’re just doing their job, but he would often like to say: handle me a little bit softer, please! Because he is still human, and despite enjoying his job, he still needs to be handled gently. He’s only 19.

He obviously never says anything because as stated before, he’s had this strange feeling of owing his career to someone (no one in particular… his fans? Simon Cowell? He doesn’t know, he just knows the feeling in his gut), and he doesn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Harry throws a quick glance at him and nodds, sighing heavily as he hears his phone ding with a message.

Angel <3:

Can I call you, please? I don’t feel good

“Harry, I said let’s go.” He said once again, walking towards him and taking his shirt in his grip, tugging on the sleeve a bit.

Harry grimaced a little at the thought of not answering YN’s text, but he hadn’t opened it, so he guessed she’d probably think he was already on stage.

“Yes, yes, I’m coming!” He shrugged, tossing his phone on the couch and turning towards the door.

Paul nods and “c’mon, rockstar” he said, ruffling Harry’s hair playfully.

“Hey!” He pouted, chuckling as he bumps his arm against his.

Harry tried not to think too much about YN and her message, but he couldn’t help the pang in his chest as he walked out of the changing rooms and heard his phone ringing, the personalised ringer he set YN when he first bought the phone hitting him right in the heart.

He rolled his lips in his mouth as he walked towards the stage, the image of YN all alone at home with her phone to her ear hunting his thoughts.

-

Harry:

Hey, baby, how are you? What are you doing?

seen, 10.27am

Answer meeeee

seen, 11.47am

Are you mad at me? Why aren’t you answering?

seen, 12.01am

Angel <3:

Hary.. sprry i was ouy

Harry:

Are you drunk?

Angel <3:

Jst a litle bit hahahaahah

Harry:

Are you safe?

Angel <3:

yea, wit Emma xx txt tommrw

Harry sighed heavily as he rubbed his temples, tossing his phone on the bed beside him. He closed his eyes as he tried to soothe the impending headache as best as he could. He knew he shouldn’t think like this, but he sometimes can’t help but get angry with her; they never get time to talk, and the only time he can call her, she’s out drinking with her friends. It’s wrong and he’s being unfair, of course he knows. He’s just… he feels defeated. And left out. She feels so far away, and he’s sad he can’t be there with her. Why is she drinking? Is she celebrating something? Did she pass her exam? He doesn’t even know. He didn’t even ask, really. Because he was on The Late Late Show in the morning and was already performing with the band by the evening.

So he’s aware it’s his fault, but at the moment, he just feels like being angry at her. He’ll feel guilty in the morning, and he’ll try not to think about her like that ever again, but tonight… he allows himself the feeling.

He feels sick to his stomach when he realises he doesn’t even know who Emma is. He’s been away so long she made new friends he never got to meet.

-

Harry:

I wish you were here.

Harry knows this relationship isn’t going to work. He knows it deep in his heart, the feeling has been growing deep in his belly ever since he auditioned on xfactor, and if he was a better person he would end it.

He would take his brand new (very expensive) phone, digit the number he knows by heart and just… end it.

Dump her, to say it as straight as it is.

But he can’t.

He knows it’s what’s best for the both of them, he can tell she wants to move on, enjoy life with her friends, be loved by someone who could show his love by being present, but he is too selfish to do that.

The mere thought of her with someone else kills him, makes him sick to his stomach. So what does he do instead? He looks for her in every face in the crowd, in every person he meets (and there’s a lot).

Incoming: FaceTime call.

From: Angel <3

“Hi, H” YN whispers softly as soon as he answers the call.

“Hi angel.”

“I missed you, feel like I haven’t seen y’re face in ages”

“I know”, he clears his throat awkwardly, unsure on what to tell her, “still the same pretty face” he jokes.

“No, you look…” Harry can see her furrow her brows down to the middle, “you look different… older”.

What she really wants to say is he looks… glowier? Like someone who slept for twelve hours or someone who just came back from a ten days vacation at an all inclusive resort.

It’s weird, seeing him like this, he sort of lost his edgier and childlike state.

He looks more mature, yes, but also more polished. His once fluffy and untamed hair look shiny and… styled? He certainly has hairdressers, because YN saw it from an instagram post, but she thought it was like a one time thing… not a recurring one.

She feels kind of out of place, in front of this boy - guy, more like - she hasn’t seen in six weeks.

She finds it hard to remember it’s still her Harry.

She wonders how many things he saw in these six weeks, how many things he did without her, how many new places he discovered without sharing it with her, without making her a part of it.

The awkward energy isn’t lost on both parts, and if YN isn’t afraid to show it, Harry tries all he can to keep the conversation normal. He won’t give up.

“You look beautiful as ever” he says with a grin, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

She only partially breaks in a smile, because she doesn’t want him to feel bad.

It’s not him, entirely, it’s them… it’s them as a whole.

“Everyday gets harder to stay away from you” he reiterates, “but I’ll see you soon, okay? At your birthday?”

“Yeah… okay” she gulps, her hands playing nervously with a stray thread coming off of her cream sweater.

“Soon. I promise.”

She nods and pretends she believes him.

The conversation only lasts for a couple of minutes, their hours long calls are just a memory by now, and she asks a couple of questions to pretend everything is fine and not alarm him.

But she knows he can feel something shifted between them, because nothing is as once was.

-

“I think we should head inside, love” Anne kindly said, placing a gentle and comforting hand on her shoulder. “I don’t think he’s coming.”

“No” YN shook her head firmly, in her stomach a nauseous feeling was tingling her insides; she tried to defend him with everything she could: “he can’t. He promised he’d be here. He’s coming. I know he is”

“Okay” Anne murmured, as she threw a wary look in Gemma’s direction, “let’s just wait a little bit more.”

“Yes!” Gemma agreed, “maybe his flight is late…?” She suggested, albeit with little conviction.

YN nodded her head absentmindedly, her gaze lost in the pinkness of the sky extending before her.

She had wanted to wait for his arrival to cut the cake, refusing Gemma’s offer (more like plea) to at least light up the candles to sing her happy birthday, so everyone was starving and YN had the strange feeling they were all upset. With her or with Harry she didn’t really know.

It’s not like she blamed them, the scene presented in front of them (YN waiting all day for Harry who didn’t even call to tell her he wasn’t coming; YN refusing to invite her friends because she wanted it to be just close family and she wanted to spend as much time as she could with her boyfriend) was pathetic as it was already.

She really didn’t think Harry had it in him to miss her birthday.

Everything YN could really think of was how thankful she was it was just her, Anne and Gemma. What would have happened if she had invited more people? She would have ended up looking like the fool who gets stood up at her own birthday by her own boyfriend.

They had been waiting since lunch time and it was already sunset, the now orange sky a dreadful reminder of how much time was passing and how late it was getting.

In her heart, buried deep under her hope, she knew he wasn’t coming. She knew his flight wasn’t late because he never boarded it in the first place, breaking the promise he’d made her that he’d be there for her birthday.

She tried to think about a birthday she passed without Harry, but nothing came to mind. Ever since they started dating, he’d always be there celebrating with her and making her happy on what is supposed to be a day all about her.

She tried to think how much she was willing to wait, she didn’t want to encounter in the possibility of having to wait until late night, but she knew that if she didn’t give herself an ultimatum she never would have stopped waiting for him.

“YN…” Anne interrupted her train of thoughts, once it started to get a bit chilly in the garden and the humidity was starting to get uncomfortable.

“I know.” YN interrupted her briefly, trying not to pay too much attention to the way her eyes were starting to tingle a bit, the humiliation being so bad it was starting to grow inside her like a balloon waiting to pop, “it’s okay.” She nodded, reassuring Anne, but maybe herself too - a little bit.

She shifted her gaze to Gemma, who frowned at the look on her face, “it’s okay.” She repeated, “I knew he wasn’t coming, after all, I knew.”

She could feel their eyes on her as she brought a hand up to her chest, hoping that maybe the warmth could soothe her aching heart; but nothing about her was warm.

She actually felt really cold, her hand on her chest only accentuated her panic and humiliation as she could hear her heart beat fast against her chest cage.

“I am so sorry” Anne said, squeezing her shoulder reassuringly,

“We’re certainly not leaving him any cake” Gemma joked, but her humour fell on deaf ears, because neither YN nor Anne laughed. In Anne’s opinion, there wasn’t anything to laugh about, and in YN’s… well, she wasn’t really paying any attention to her surroundings.

“Let’s go inside, love” Anne repeated once again, but this time YN nodded and got up from her chair.

She inhaled a little before heading towards the door.

Once she was inside, she felt the warm air hit her cheeks, and the sweet smell of the cake cooling off in the oven invaded her nostrils.

The cozy ambience was becoming kind of overwhelming, and she wished she could just close her eyes and be out of that damn house. The house where she spent all her best days with her boyfriend. Was he even her boyfriend anymore?

She felt sick to her stomach thinking those kinds of thoughts, but how couldn’t she? There weren’t many things she cared about like she cared about birthdays, and Harry knew it all too well.

“I think I’ll just head home…” she sighed, a heavy weight on her chest was making it harder and harder to breathe.

“Don’t you want to stay? We could eat some cake and…”

“No” she shook her head forcefully, “I just need to go home, I have to wake up early tomorrow”.

“Okay, love. I’m…” Anne began saying, but she stopped herself. There weren’t many words to say to excuse her son’s behaviour.

“Just… drive safe, okay?”

-

YN felt very alone as she laid in her bed that night; it wasn’t later than 9pm, way too early for her bedtime, but she really didn’t care, at that point she’d do whatever worked to make the day end sooner.

What was worse (if there even was something worse) was that her phone hadn’t rang one time since she’d arrived home, and that meant not only Harry hadn’t shown up to her birthday lunch, but he didn’t even feel guilty about it.

That was everything she needed to know.

She’d always been convinced chasing dreams couldn’t be harmful in anyway, and maybe for Harry it hadn’t been… but for her? What about her? Was she selfish for getting in the way of his dream of a life time?

All these questions ran through her head, a sharp pain growing behind her eyes from keeping in the tears for too long. They spiked against her eyes but she refused to let them fall, she had cried too long for him. This was really all she could do, but without even realising, she had started crying long before even getting in bed.

“Stop it” she condemned herself, pressing the tips of her fingers on her eyelids to dry the tears. “Just stop” she sobbed against her hands.

She doesn’t know for how long she laid there, and at some point she thinks she eventually stopped crying, too exhausted to let anything else out.

Before succumbing to a what she knew would be a troubled sleep, she grabbed her phone and typed a message quickly.

It read: we’re over.

-

When YN sent that text, she knew they weren’t over. They never could be, not without talking it out at first, and Harry… well he’s very stubborn, and at first, it was a quality she liked about him, but when he started calling her back to back until she answered, she reevaluated that.

Text from: Harry

I won’t stop calling until you answer the phone

I’m not joking, YN

Answer

We’re not over

Are we?

We can’t be

You can’t leave me like that

Answer the phone please

I can explain

It took her two days to call him. Two days of uninterrupted messages, two days of tears and an ache in her chest she tried to get rid of by eating tons of ice cream.

Her finger had lingered a while on the green call button before pressing it, but it only took him two rings to answer.

“YN…” he started, and he sort of sounded relieved, she has to admit that.

Like a weight had been lifted off his chest.

“Stop pestering me with all those messages.” She said firmly, “I don’t want to talk to you”.

“YN” he sighed once again, “please let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Harry! You missed my birthday” she said, and she tried really hard to keep her voice from breaking, but it didn’t really work.

“I know.” He said firmly, “my phone broke, I couldn’t… I didn’t know how to reach you… and by the time I got a new one, I had a concert and I couldn’t… you don’t know how these things work YN, I can’t just drop everything and run to you”.

She felt his words like a bullet piercing through her chest, “you’re right, I don’t know how these things work, but I still deserve to be treated with respect”

“I know. I know you do”.

Sometimes YN wishes Harry had never auditioned for xfactor in the first place. She knows it’s selfish but she doesn’t care. If that makes her a bad person, so be it.

If he’d never auditioned they wouldn’t be here, and she wouldn’t have to beg him for the respect he’d always showed her in the past.

“We really tried to make this work, Harry” she said in a soft voice, at this point all she could feel was defeat.

The whole situation was simply too hurtful to keep going.

“No. Stop. Don’t talk like that.” He’s quick to reply, and she could hear him get up from the bed she supposed he was sitting on.

“You missed my birthday! What am I supposed to say?”

“Enough with this birthday! I explained how things went already. You can’t just leave me like that for a single mistake”.

“But it’s not just the birthday! it’s… everything” she snapped, tired of him dragging a situation that’s been difficult long before he missed her birthday.

“Everything? You’re being unfair, YN. I tried with all I could to be present”

“But you didn’t! You never call, you’re always busy doing god knows what! -

“I’m working, YN, what do you think!” He interrupted her, but she started again with a scoff.

“I feel like I don’t know you anymore, H… buying fancy cars, hanging out with models… what? am I not enough for you anymore? Is that it? If you want out, why don’t you tell me? Why don’t you leave me?”

At that point she was certain she was crying, she could feel the warm tears streaming down her cheeks, but, in the confines of her home, she didn’t really care. Plus, it’s not like Harry hadn’t really seen her cry before.

She cried when she got her first A in maths Harry helped her study for (she had studied really hard), she cried in his arms all night when her childhood dog died (he had died an happy death at 16 years old, but still, it didn’t dull the pain), she cried to him when a mean guy called her four eyes in middle school and Harry had threatened to beat the shit out of him (she realised she loved him then), and she cried with him when he received the call he’d been selected to audition on xfactor.

All these times she’d cried, he had always been there to console her, comfort her, rubbing her back, holding her close to his chest, caressing her face with his soft hands. Where was he now, then? Why, after she threatened to end their relationship, he didn’t drop everything and hop on the first flight home? Why was she crying alone in her room?

A beat passed before he answered, and she wondered if he’s mustering up the courage to leave her. To finally do it. She hoped he would, quick and painless.

“I don’t want to leave you, even if it hurts, okay? You think it doesn’t pain me hearing you cry and not being there? It does. But I won’t give up on us. Even if it hurts, I’m not giving up. Are you?”

“I don’t know” she started, uncertain on what to say.

“No, you know, you know you love me. You do love me, right?”

“Of course I do” she reiterated, sniffling with her nose.

“That’s all that matters. We’ll get through this, I swear.”

It took a little bit more of convincing until YN finally gave in. She didn’t know how long this would go on for, how long they could make it last before going off like a grenade and destroying everything around them.

All she knew is this time, he didn’t even promise he’d come back to her soon. What did it mean? Is something not said as important as what was actually said?

-

After six months he’s been away, YN realises she should have left him that night. She would have saved herself so many missed calls, broken lines, fights and once again, tears.

Her desire to keep watering a dead plant ruined everything in the end.

She wanted out the very first moment he started missing her calls, she wanted to end it, and had she done it, by now she’d be somewhat partially healed, hanging out with her friends, checking his profile maybe once a week when she was really drunk.

But no.

These six months without him only alienated her and hurt her, and she’s finally mustered up the courage to leave him like she intended to.

It’s not a threat this time, as she tries to find the best words to leave him with.

She’s typing her message when her phone screen turns black for a fraction of a second and then his picture invades the screen.

Call from: Harry

“YN” he breathes out, not even letting her say hi to him, “I’m coming home. They told us today, I’m coming home.” he repeats, so many times he doesn’t even let her process this new information.

She doesn’t say anything, the words she has longed to hear for a long time now seem dull, like a cruel joke she doesn’t understand.

“You’re coming home?” She gulps, trying to steady her racing heart.

“Yes!” He exclaims, and then he proceeds to explain the logistics of his trip back home, how all the guys had begged for some time off and how the label finally agreed on two weeks of rest.

All YN can think about is how this is all too overwhelming to understand.

It’s been six months since she’s seen him.

How will it feel? Seeing him again after so long? Touching him? She feels like she doesn’t really know him anymore. So many things he did without her, so many people he met she doesn’t know and she will never be introduced to, so many new songs written, some that aren’t even about her.

She really wants to be happy, trust me she does, but all she can think about is how it feels like, by now, they’re as close as strangers.

[33-81]

missed but never forgotten 💔

[sunshine-daisies-library]

emergency contact | calum hood x fem!reader

FUCK this took so long and took so many twists and turns but i have finished lads

summary: you end up in the hospital after an accident, only to find that your emergency contact number hadn’t been updated. you are yet to find out if it’s a blessing or a curse. 

word count: 8.9k

warnings: self doubt, talking down about oneself, she/her pronoun usage, swearing, breakups, angst, drinking, car accident, hospital mentions, injury mentions, mentions of weed, partying, fighting

author's note: it might be rushed at the end and there's no set timeline of events, so it might not align with the true events IRL.

i also would like to say that we support girls here! no hate toward anyone, girls support girls!

In defense of yourself, you hadn’t expected to be back in Los Angeles so soon. Nor had you anticipated an accident like this to update your contacts on your phone. It was on the back of your mind, yes, but you had intended to change your emergency contact list on your phone for events like these. It was something you’d remind yourself occasionally, only to push it off for the next day, then the next day, then forget about it altogether. 

And perhaps you were too cowardly to change the list. You didn’t admit this to another soul since it had been nearly a year since the two of you broke things off. Your friends time and time again had persuaded you to put yourself back on the market, to get over the musician. But how could you? You had dedicated the best years of your life to him, nearly six of them. You thought you were going to marry the man, but life had other plans. 

That being said, you still loved him. The small act of removing him off your emergency contacts list felt so final to you. Like that was the end of your sad little love story with him. Truth be told, it was the end. It was the end from the moment you broke things off with him. You were just too stubborn to admit that to yourself. 

It was your doing, wasn’t it? You were the one to tell him it was over. He had just gotten back home from their tour and went to greet you with open arms. You had been wretched enough to deny him that, pulling away immediately. You ignored his eyes when you told him you were tired of your lifestyle. Of waiting on him like a dog for him to come back from tour. Of relishing that one month of being together like it was the last thing on earth, only for him to leave once again for tours or writing retreats. 

And most of all, you were tired of not feeling enough for him. In the world of popular and beautiful stars, why did he stay with you? Calum never made you feel so ordinary, not on purpose, at least. You had nothing to offer him other than your love. You feared that wouldn’t be enough in the end. The more years that passed, and the closer the possibility of marriage became, you thought it would be better to let go of him first before he ended up resenting you for not choosing someone better when he had the chance. 

You didn’t listen to his pleas for you to stay. Or his professions of love for you, or how his promise to leave the band entirely if it meant you staying. You felt so cruel to let someone who loved you so much go so easily. He was willing to give up his music for you, so how could you ever claim that you were second best to his music? 

But that was the very thing, you were afraid. He loved you so much that he was willing to let his entire life go for you. You couldn’t let him do that to himself, to let go of his happiness. But you had enough self dignity to know that you deserved more out of life than waiting in an empty home to fill up again. 

—

Calum wasn’t sure what to make of the phone call he received just a moment ago. He never thought he’d hear your name again, much less be summoned to the hospital to see you. 

“Mate, why are you still here?” Ashton asked, tucking away his drumsticks. “The nurse called you a half hour ago. Aren’t you going to see her?” 

“I don’t know,” Calum uttered truthfully. “It’s been so long since I last saw her. It was probably a mistake, right? Why would they call me up?” 

Michael rolled his eyes from the couch where he was tuning his guitar. “Because you’re still down as her emergency contact,” he drawled sarcastically. 

“Thanks for pointing out the obvious,” Calum deadpanned. “I mean, why would they call me and not her parents or something? Or her new boyfriend,” he muttered under his breath. 

Luke approached the group from the bathroom, running his fingers through his hair. “Easy there, tiger,” he teased, grasping Calum’s shoulders from behind. “One might assume you’re jealous.” The youngest of the group quickly dodged the bassist’s shove, laughing while doing so. “To calm your worries, no, she doesn’t have a new boy in her life. And her parents moved to the east coast three months ago so they can’t come over.”

“Well aren’t you the stalker,” Ashton snickered. 

Luke shot the drummer a glare. “I’m not a stalker,” Luke defended himself. “In case you actually wanted to know, I still keep contact with y/n. At least Sierra does for the most part. Though, last time I heard she was in Boston.” 

“Boston,” Calum spoke up in confusion. “What’s she in Boston for? And how did she end up here?” 

Luke clicked his tongue, a knowing look on his face. “If you want to know, you can ask her yourself,” he sang in an annoying tone. 

Michael set his guitar down and stood up in defense of his friend. “While that’s true,” he began. “What about..you know?”

“What about “you know?”” Ashton piped up. “There’s no harm in Calum going. She could really be hurt and need someone with her. If what Luke said is true and you’re the only nearby emergency contact, it’s better safe than sorry that you go to her.” 

The boys shared a look with each other. In their heart of hearts they knew it was a bad idea to let Calum go, especially after everything that had happened. But a selfish part of them wanted their best friend back, so what harm was in that notion? 

“I’ll go,” Calum finally relented. “But she’s coming with me.” 

–

When Calum arrived at the hospital, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. The doctor explained it was a car accident, and although you were recovering okay you still had to be observed after minor surgery. A part of Calum’s heartstrings tugged at the thought of you alone and afraid during the accident, thinking he could have done something if you hadn’t broken things off, but he pushed that feeling down. It’s been a year; you’ve probably gotten over him and he’s started a new chapter of his life without you. 

Calum followed the nurse to the recovery room where you were still unconscious. At the sight of you, he instantly lost all air in his lungs. Frozen, the bassist stood before you with a mix of emotions flooding through his face. 

It was as though you were entirely different but still the same in some way. Your face, albeit bruised, looked more peaceful than Calum had seen of you. Hell, even before you broke things off you always had a furrowed brow or frown of some sort. It broke Calum’s heart to know that he was the cause of that stress. 

Calum sat down beside you, instantly grasping your hand like second nature. It was just as soft as he could remember, and your nail polish was chipped and stained the skin surrounding it. Calum chuckled to himself, a tearful smile on his face. He knew your nail polish was your own doing, seeing as you had always asked him to paint your nails since he had “more precision.” 

“Oh y/n,” he whispered, his voice cracking slightly. “What the hell did you get yourself into now?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

Calum jerked back to see your eyes staring back at him. “Hi, stranger,” you managed to crack a smile. “What brings you to this hospital?”

Calum choked out a laugh, his thumb grazing against the top of your hand. “Oh you know me,” he said. “Always hanging around these parts whenever I get the chance.” 

“You idiot,” you snorted, shaking your head and wincing in pain.

“Easy now,” Calum reached over to cup your cheek. “The doctor said you have a mild concussion and a sprained ankle, but nothing a bit of rest can’t fix.”

Your hand met his on your face, instantly warming to his touch like nothing had changed between the two of you. “Why are you here, Hood?” you asked curiously.

“You tell me.” Calum pulled out his phone and showed his past calls list. “I got a call from the hospital saying I was your emergency contact.” 

You dropped his hand and covered your face in embarrassment. If your headache wasn’t killing you, the sheer embarrassment was. “Oh my God,” you groaned. “I’m so sorry, Calum. I had meant to change it but I never got the chance and–”

“It’s alright,” Calum calmed you down. “Relax. I’m not mad or anything. If anything, this gave us a great opportunity to reconnect and catch up on things. It’s been what, a year?”

One year, three months, twenty eight days, and twelve and a half hours, the both of you thought subconsciously. But who’s counting? 

The both of you were. Clearly.

“Something like that,” you lied smoothly. “How are you? How are the boys? I’ve kept contact with Crys and Sierra, but I haven’t had a chance to meet with them both. I was actually planning on shooting them a text as soon as I landed here, but obviously I haven’t had the chance.” 

Calum laughed at your blunt humor. He missed that a lot about you. “I’m alright,” he replied. “The boys are great, too. They send their love, by the way. We’ve been cooped up at the studio writing and producing music, though you probably expected that from us.”

Ouch. Was that a dig toward why you broke up with him? “Naturally,” you grinned. “Do I make a special feature in this album? The trashy ex that broke up with the bassist as soon as the tour ended? You best get back to the studio, I’m sure this whole debacle has given you something to write about.” 

“You are far from trashy,” Calum countered, continuing the light banter. “And I’m not going to throw your dirty laundry out like that, I have some taste, you know.” 

“Oh come on,” you pressed. “That hoe called me back, gave me a heart attack,” you sang terribly, making Calum cover his ears. “Oh yeah she broke my heart, that’s not even the start-”

“Oi, quit that!” he laughed. “Leave the songwriting to me because good God that was terrible. Any more of that and you’d put me in the hospital bed next to you. And please do not call yourself a hoe. That’s worse than Luke calling Ash “daddy.”” 

Once your laughter had died down and you ran out of lyrics to spew, a comfortable silence filled the room. His chocolate brown eyes rested down at your joined hands. 

“Thank you, by the way,” you spoke to break the silence. “For coming. You didn’t have to do that.” 

“For my trashy ex?” he teased, a smirk dancing along his lips. “I’d do anything.” 

God why did you break up with him? He was perfect, still is. Why does he still tug at your heartstrings and make you weak with one smile. How could you still feel this way after a whole year? Do you still love him-

“Babe, there you are! This place is a maze, I could barely understand the nurse’s directions.” 

You turned your head so fast, you nearly got whiplash again. Standing before you was a beautiful girl with the most luxurious beach waves and tan that every girl dreamed of. 

She bent down to kiss Calum’s cheek swiftly, making your breath hitch without you realizing. The girl smiled at you, taking your hand -that Calum instantly dropped at the sound of her voice- and squeezing it. “You must be y/n,” she concluded cheerfully. “I’m Tia, Calum’s friend.” 

–

“They are so not friends,” you grumbled to your friends, days after the initial encounter. 

Your friends chuckled at your gray demeanor, each of them taking sips of their coffee or bites of their breakfast. After being discharged from the hospital, the band and their significant others thought it would be perfect to catch up with you during brunch. You had agreed, eager to learn about everything you missed, especially the new couple. 

“You’d be right and wrong, n/n,” Michael replied, setting his mug down. The group was significantly more relaxed to talk about the subject considering Tia needed to take a phone call and Calum insisted on accompanying her. “The way they’re friends isn’t the same as how he’s friends with us–”

“Speak for yourself, baby, Calum keeps my bed warm whenever Sierra’s out,” Luke teased with a wiggle of his eyebrows. Sierra rolled her eyes playfully, elbowing him in the ribs. 

“And Luke keeps mine warm when they’re both gone,” Ashton chimed in without missing a beat.

Michael sent the youngest and oldest members a glare before continuing. “As I was saying,” he huffed exasperatedly. “They’re in the weird phase between friends and dating. They met a little after the tour and were friends for a while. It was Tia that made the move on Calum, like, two months ago.”

Noticing the stark difference in your facial expressions after hearing Michael’s explanation, Crystal came in to quickly finish the story. “He hasn’t confirmed or denied anything, but they have been on a few dates. He’s taking it very slowly.” 

“That’s..nice to hear,” you slowly began. “But the more I hear about her, the more guilty I feel about feeling this way.” Your shoulders caved in as your friends shared a concerned look. “She seems sweet, and Calum and I are old news. It was my own decision to break things off in the first place.” 

Sierra reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “Why did you break things off with him?” she asked in a quieter voice. 

You couldn’t help but notice how the rest of the group leaned in to hear your answer. “You mean Calum didn’t tell you?” you inquired the boys. 

“He just said it was mutual,” Ashton raised his hands up in defense. “I didn’t know you broke it off with him.” 

“Why didn’t you tell us she broke up with Cal?” Luke whisper-shouted to his partner. 

Sierra only shrugged her shoulders. “I thought you knew,” she responded, her hands grasping around her mug as she took a sip.

“No one knew,” you settled. “And it’s going to stay that way.” 

The group let out shouts of disapproval that were instantly quieted once Calum finally returned and took a seat. “What’s the fuss about?” he asked curiously. 

You shook your head, taking an overly healthy sip of your mimosa. “Oh you know,” you sighed. “Typical group shenanigans, as per usual.” 

“What kind-?” he pressed before being curtly interrupted.

“Where’s Tia?” Luke cut in, saving everyone’s necks for the time being. 

Calum took in a draw of breath after stealing Luke’s cup of coffee, much to the singer’s distaste. “Oh you know,” he copied you teasingly. “Manager calls, as per usual.” 

“She’s been getting plenty of calls lately,” Crystal commented. 

You tried to not show immense interest in the conversation. After all, you didn’t know much about Tia and the group had been too distracted to show you her Instagram profile, damn Michael and his random tangents. In the meantime, you absentmindedly twirled your straw between your thumb and forefinger as the conversation continued. 

“Tia’s getting a lot of public interest, what can I say?” Calum responded. “Her videos are getting more views every day. Her manager’s been calling her nonstop since companies keep reaching out to offer brand deal after brand deal.” 

Ashton let out a hopeful sigh. “Imagine having a brand deal set for life,” he pondered aloud, setting his salad fork down. “I’d adopt more goats and expand the garden.” 

“Cool it, Old McDonald,” Michael snickered. “I can’t imagine the band doing brand deals. Remember One Direction and their Pepsi commercials during the Super Bowl? Louis hated them.” 

The table laughed, recalling the memory. Recognizing your confusion regarding Tia’s profession, Sierra leaned in. “She’s an Instagram influencer and interior designer. She went to school for design but has branched out since. Last time I browsed her page she was doing promos for some yoga company.” 

“Great, so she’s perfect,” you grumbled to yourself, quiet enough for only Ashton to hear since he was right beside you. The drummer snorted, elbowing you roughly. 

Calum, thankfully deaf to your comment, nodded along to Sierra’s explanation. “She’s great,” he hummed. 

Your heart clenched at his words, but a hopeful side of yourself couldn’t help but perk at his courtness. Of course, it could be just to spare your feelings to not speak much about her. But a selfish part in your mind wondered if it was because she wasn’t his missing piece, the way that you fit perfectly for him. 

Stop that, you scolded yourself. Calum is no longer yours, you made sure of that. You were the selfish one who pushed him away. Why do you continue to torture him when he’s finally happy, no thanks to you. You can’t continue to pull him back, that’s why you broke up with him. And here you are,  falling back into old habits. 

You blinked back your tears, the tears you had so desperately fought back since the day you broke up with him. You didn’t deserve to shed these tears when you caused the problem in the first place. Instead, you sucked in a breath and maintained your rigid composure. It’s better than falling apart, which you more than desperately wanted to do at the moment. 

“y/n, you alright?” Calum asked, breaking you from your trance. 

You jumped slightly, lifting your head to face the group. Forcing a smile, you nodded. “Perfectly fine.” 

–

You weren’t sure why you were called here. After becoming mutuals on Instagram (and thoroughly stalking her pristine profile) Tia was quick to invite you out for yoga. You weren’t too keen on attempting yoga with a certified instructor, much preferring to save face in front of the already perfect girl. However, you found her nice and sweet enough to befriend despite the heartache it caused you. 

“I’m really glad you agreed to come with me today,” Tia told you honestly as you finished your session for the day. 

You settled yourself onto the mat, easing yourself into a simple stretch. “I’m glad you offered,” you replied, grunting at the ache panging slightly in your ankle. You were careful not to apply extra stress on your injured foot since it was still tender to the touch at times. “I’ve been eager to relax, especially after that accident.” 

“And you deserve it,” Tia reassured you, beginning her own routine. “Yoga’s good for recovery and stress, I’ve always tried to convince Cal into joining but he wasn’t the most graceful learner.” 

You giggled, recalling how clumsy the bassist would be. “Yeah, I’d leave that to Ashton.” 

Tia nodded in agreement. Her fingers danced down her leg as she continued to stretch. Even as jealous as you were of her, you had to admit she was graceful in everything she did (and you were sure of it with a simple browse through her Tiktoks). 

The two of you stepped out of the yoga studio, mats in tow as you continued to talk about random nonsense. On the walk back to your friend’s house -you had been staying there for the time being-, you came to realize that Tia was as genuine as they come and found it very difficult to dislike her out of jealousy. 

“So you know how Cal and I met,” Tia began, referencing the story of how the two met at an awards show. “How did you and Calum meet and get together?” 

Your mouth went dry. She knew you and Calum were a thing in the past? “I-“ you stammered. 

Tia laughed at your sudden awkwardness. “I’m not dumb, you know,” she joked. “I knew about yours and Cal’s past. He talks a lot about you, you know? More now than ever now that you’re back.” 

You had to stop the butterflies forming in your stomach. “He does?” you catch yourself saying instantly. 

Tia nodded, uncapping her bottle and taking a sip of water. “Oh yeah, big time,” she answered. “It’s really sweet to know that you made such a big impact on his life.” 

Your cheeks began to warm at her words. “He did the same,” you responded with full honesty. Tia patted your shoulder and grinned. “To answer your question, I met Calum a little over ten years ago, once the band started getting famous. I was just a senior in high school when they moved to L.A. I interned at their studio and that’s how we formally met.”

Tia gave you an impressed nod. “You guys got history,” she mused. 

You couldn’t help but smile. The memories of the past always brought a smile to your face. Dyeing Michael’s hair and staining your bathtub red, constantly buying Ash bandanas whenever you came across one you knew he’d like. Luke coming to you when he had writer’s block, and Cal crawling through your bedroom window whenever he felt homesick and wanted someone to talk to. 

“We do,” you agreed. 

Turning a corner down the street, Tia continued to ask you questions. “Who asked who out?” she questioned. “Three years of being friends turned partners was clearly not an overnight thing.” 

“It wasn’t,” you said. “It was Calum who asked me, but it took a whole lot of convincing from the boys.” You laughed quietly to yourself, recalling how he asked you to be your girlfriend. 

You heard music playing softly in the night air. You had been studying nonstop for your college finals and hadn’t seen the outside of your dorm all day. You hadn’t called the boys in a while either since they’ve been touring the world after releasing Sounds Good Feels Good. You were significantly proud of them but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss your boys. Now, hearing the soft guitar strumming from outside your window made you feel more longingful for them than ever. 

Especially Calum. You had a soft spot for the bassist, everyone knew that. You spent the most time with him when you interned at the music studio. He trusted your opinion above everyone else’s, and reached out to you the most while on tour. To say you had a little crush on him would be an understatement. The boys teased you relentlessly and teased Calum much more. They always said it was a matter of time until one of you would cave in and confess to the other. But they were wrong. You’re here in a small college dorm with no air conditioning single as can be while the boy you loved was halfway across the world. 

“Thinking of you,” you texted Calum with a heavy heart. “And the boys, ofc :P” 

You set your phone down and attempted to go back to studying when your phone pinged again. 

“You don’t have to feel so blue, n/n,” he responded. “Look outside”

You hopped out of bed and opened your window as much as the old rusty thing could go. On the campus grass were your favorite boys flashing lights from their phones at you. Calum was resting on Ashton’s shoulders, waving at you with the wild boyish smile you loved with your entire being. Michael and Luke were beside him, Michael playing the guitar and Luke grinning and filming. 

Concentrating hard, you recognized the sweet melody. It was the very song you wrote with him, Beside You. 

“She sleeps alone

My heart wants to come home

I wish I was, I wish I was

Beside you”

Your heart did somersaults at the presentation before you. You had always begged Calum to sing more for the album but the boy was too shy. It took some pushing but you helped him get his confidence up. Taking a cardigan, you ran out of your hall and joined the boys on the lawn, tackling each of them into a hug. 

“What the hell’s wrong with you!” you shouted out with a grin. You didn’t care if your yelling woke up your peers. Your boys were here in the flesh. 

“We missed our girl,” Ashton told you, giving you a strong bear hug. 

“One of us more than the rest,” Luke added with a cheeky smirk. 

Calum had long been off Ashton’s shoulders, awaiting your hugs he missed so much. You, on the other hand, hesitated to do so. 

“Come on!” Michael playfully shoved you. “We’ve come all this way, give the boy a hug!” 

Your face was on fire. The extra pairs of eyes made you embarrassed. Calum took an extra step forward, his hands bashfully in his pockets. 

“Didn’t you miss me, sunshine?” he asked you, awfully shy now after his confession of love. He was nervous he put you off and that he read the signs wrong. 

“I did,” you whispered back, equally shy. “But I think I want something more than a hug.” 

The boys let out whoops and cheers of joy as you decided to bite the bullet, grabbing Calum by the loops of his jeans and pulling him into a kiss.

Once you had pulled away, Calum’s lips formed into a dazed smile. “Be my girl, sunshine?” he asked you softly.

You pressed your lips against his once again, though this one was much shorter. “I was always yours, Calum.”

“Why did you and him end things, y/n?” Tia asked you, bringing you out of your thoughts. You seemed to be stuck in a trance these days, always pondering over the past and what could have been. 

You chewed the inside of your cheek, truly at a loss of words. What could you say? That you had been selfish and pushed him away so that he wouldn’t end up hurting you first? That you drove the knife deep into Calum, twisting it in every way shape and form out of self preservation? There was no other way to put it than that in your mind. 

“Time heals but also kills,” you told her with a broken smile. “Cal and I decided to put ourselves out of our misery and end things while they were good before it got worse.” It wasn’t completely a lie. Sure, he had no say in your ending things, but you spoke the truth about putting him out of his misery.

“Do you still love him?” she asked. 

You glanced over at her. Her eyes shone in the light, curious and innocent. She didn’t know the pain you both had endured that landed you in this position. 

Yes, your heart cried out. You love him. You love him with your entire being, that’s why you let him go. Because you’d rather kill your soul every single day of your life than stop him from reaching his life goals. If you had to go through that awful night that you broke your own heart again, you would, just to ensure that he is happy. 

Even if that meant that he would be happy with someone else. 

“He’s my first love,” you told her tearfully. “Of course I love him. But I am not his love, and that is okay with me. Life goes on, and so should I.” 

The two of you stopped in front of your friend’s house. Tia took your hand and squeezed it. “I really do appreciate you coming along with me today,” she said earnestly. “And I’m glad I got to hear about you and Cal’s history. It really puts things into perspective.” 

You smiled back at her. “Thank you for having me,” you responded. “I hope my words haven’t changed anything between the two of you. I meant what I said; him and I are in the past. I truly want the both of us to move forward and grow in our own separate ways.” 

Your butterflies in your stomach turned into fierce wasps, stinging you sharply. Lies, your heart hissed. Tell her you love him and still want him. 

You forced the bile rising in your throat down. Tia, blind to your inner troubles, continued to speak. “That’s actually what I wanted to ask you,” she chuckled nervously. She grabbed your other hand, bringing them together. 

“I wanted to ask Cal to be my boyfriend,” Tia confessed.

Crack. There goes your heart.

Tia seemed to notice the dip in your lips and immediately retracted. “But I don’t want to overstep or anything!” she rushed. “You and Cal have history, I’m not stupid enough to deny it. And that’s okay, that’s no one’s fault. If you still love him and want him, I’m not going to get in the way. Calum, well, it’s clear he loves you, too. I’ve heard countless amounts of stories about you to not get the memo. I really like Cal, I do. But that can’t go up against love.” 

This was your chance. To right your wrongs from the past and take back what you truly wanted. Calum. You could take this moment to run to his house right now and take him back, and you’d have Tia’s full support. Zero guilt. 

But why did it hurt so bad? 

No. You made your bed, you have to sleep in it. It doesn’t matter if the bed was built of blades of self doubt and hate, you have to slip into the sharp sheets and let it pierce through your skin. You created your own mess. It is you alone that must deal with it. Not Calum, and surely not Tia. 

You’ve made enough problems for everyone as is. 

You mustered enough strength to let go of Tia’s hands and instead cup her cheeks. “Tia, honey,” you whispered calmly. “Our love is in the past. I’ve missed my chance, and I have learned to live with it. I’ve seen the way Calum looks at you, and that’s something that can blossom into something beautiful. There’s no need to dig up something that has already run its course.” 

Tia’s lip trembled at your words. You nodded carefully. “You don’t need my permission or anything to date Calum. You don’t owe me anything. You both deserve to be happy, and clearly you make each other happy.”

“Are you sure?” Tia asked. “I promise you, it won’t hurt my feelings or anything if you still want him.” 

“No, Tia,” you reassured her, despite the burning feeling in your chest. “Please, make him happy. Make him happier than I could ever make him. He deserves that much.” 

–

Two weeks have passed since your encounter with Tia. Last thing you heard was that the two were very happy indeed, but you didn’t hear if they made it official. You had plenty of dates with the girls, but you insisted on changing the subject whenever they brought Calum up. You feared that if you heard about him one more time, you might burst into tears or do something stupid. 

You finished up your work from the office in your friend’s house. Grateful to be able to work from home for the time you stayed in L.A., you had to admit that sitting on a chair from 9 to 5 made you quite sore. Eager to stretch your legs, you decided to take a walk to the local park. 

However, it wasn’t any random park. It was the place you and Cal used to have endless dates when he was back from tour or the studio. You’d lay on the blanket he took from his apartment at the time and stare at the stars. Back when you both didn’t have much, you’d snack on soup crackers you took from each time you went to the diner across the street and share a can of Coke Cal took from the vending machine after work. So many secrets were shared at this park, and so many memories were made, too. 

“I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who still frequents this place.” 

You jumped to see the last person you expected at this place. Calum gave you a bashful smile before sitting beside you on the grass. You took in the last hour of sun beaming down your skin before the sky went dark, closing your eyes and tuning out the sound of the infamous L.A. traffic. 

“How can I not?” you quipped. “This park is the only place in L.A. that isn’t stuffy or gross.”

Calum let out a laugh, quietly agreeing with you. “So what brings you here, Hood?” you asked, nudging his shoulder. 

The bassist could only shrug his shoulders. “Could say the same about you,” he hummed. “Sometimes I like to sit here and write music. Other times I just sit here and listen to the ambiance.” You nodded, crossing your arms on your chest and making sure to keep a safe distance from him. His touch was mesmerizing, but you had to remind yourself that he was no longer yours. 

“This place reminds me to stay grounded,” he told you truthfully. “When I get too in my head, I always go here, even after we broke up.” 

You dropped your hands to the grass, braiding the blades absentmindedly. “I’m glad,” you spoke up. Calum looked over at you, awaiting an explanation. “It’s too good of a place to let go after a silly little relationship.” 

“It wasn’t a silly little-” Calum fought back. 

“Let’s not talk about it, Cal,” you sighed exasperatedly. 

Calum instantly frowned. “Why not?” he pressed. “You never seem to want to talk about the good old days.”

“Because it wasn’t “the good old days,”” you insisted, lying through your teeth. 

Calum let out a stubborn huff. “Now that’s a lie,” Calum shot back. “But whatever, I won’t push.” A pregnant silence took over the two of you as Calum tried to find something to say. “Have you found yourself a new boyfriend yet?” he decided to ask. 

“Calum-” you began.

“You said not to bring up the past,” Calum argued. “This is the best I can do.” 

You shook your head at his words, giving in nonetheless. “No, I don’t,” you answered. 

“Are you not ready for one?” he asked. 

“I-” You took a moment to find the right words. “I need to work on myself before moving forward with someone else.” 

“Well, I don’t get that,” Calum commented with a snort. “You’re perfect, what could you possibly work on?”

You choked out a dry laugh, though there was no humor behind it. “Quite a bit, I’d say,” you confessed. “Calum, I was a mess, I still am. I can’t put someone through that again.” 

“You didn’t put me through anything,” Calum persisted. “And now that you mention us, I can’t recall anything that you did wrong in that relationship. It was all me.”

“No Calum!” you raised your voice, standing up abruptly. He quickly followed, standing up to meet your frustrated, tired eyes. “It was me. And I’m tired of you insisting otherwise.” 

“You said that I was always gone,” Calum reminded you, his voice matching the same volume as yours. “I don’t see anything that involves you in that.” 

You threw your hands in the air. “Because I was needy!” you exclaimed. “And I was pushy, and I hated being alone all the time–”

“But I’m right here!” he yelled back. You took a step back in shock. He was never one to raise his voice at you, even when you fought in the past. It was your throat that got raw in those arguments from having a shouting match against yourself and losing hopelessly. “Goddammit y/n I’m right here. And I promised you that night that I would always be here if that’s what you wanted.” 

Tears began to stream down your face as you pulled your hair in anger. “You don’t understand, Calum,” you cried out. 

“Then help me understand!” Calum took a step closer to you, taking your hands in his. His brown eyes were desperate, searching yours for an answer. “Please, sunshine, let me in.” 

For a moment, you almost faltered. You nearly gave in at his sweet words and use of that old nickname. But Tia remained in the back of your mind, and guilt sunk in once more.

You released yourself from his touch, looking away from his eyes. “You can’t call me that anymore,” you whispered to him. “I can’t, Calum. I just can’t.” 

Calum watched you back away hopelessly. “y/n,” he sighed.

“I’m leaving for Boston in two days,” you told him. “I’m sure Ash told you that already, though. I overstayed my welcome at my friend’s house. I should start packing.”

The bassist followed you to the gate of the park. “But I feel like we should talk about this,” Calum pleaded. 

Your fingertips grazed the gate, the cool metal sending shivers down your spine. “I’ll see you at the party, Calum.” 

– 

When you told the boys the date you were going back to Boston, Ashton jumped at the opportunity to throw you a goodbye party. In addition to catching up with you and spending every moment available with you, the boys insisted on planning the “biggest party of the century” for your departure. 

“I still don’t see the necessity for all of this,” you told the three boys with a shake of your head. 

“Trust us,” Ashton said with a wild grin. “We all need this.” 

So here you were, casually sipping your cocktail in the corner of Ashton’s home while their exquisite rager took the house by storm. Sierra and Crystal stayed by your side throughout the night, insisting  to keep up with each other while you were away. This time, you made sure to not end contact with them the way you did last time. Tia had also been in the group but left some time ago to deal with something. 

“Are you sure you have to leave?” Luke asked, pouting dramatically. “L.A. isn’t the same without you here, n/n.” 

You ruffled his hair playfully. The singer was always a little brother to you, no matter how close in age the two of you were. “I do, bub,” you said in a sorry voice. “I don’t think my boss could stand another week without me in the studio.” 

“Then move back to this location!” Michael proposed, raising his glass and nearly spilling his drink on the floor. “Transferring wouldn’t be a bad idea, would it? The studio would love to have you back, producing and doing whatever else you do.” 

You laughed at Michael’s drunken state. You were having a lot of fun relishing in the last few moments with your friends before leaving them once again. You almost didn’t realize the shouting that was going on in the dining room of Ashton’s home. 

The entire group ran to the source of the noise to find Calum standing on the dining table with Tia pleading for him to get down.

“Calum, babe, please,” Tia shouted. “You’re causing a scene.” 

All guests turned to see what was going on, especially to see why the bassist of 5 Seconds of Summer was shouting complete intelligible nonsense. 

Ashton ran towards the edge of the table. “Mate, you need to get down,” he begged hurriedly. “You’re not thinking straight, you need to get down before you get hurt.”

“No,” Calum insisted, his words slurring slightly due to his inebriated state. “I need everyone to listen to me.” 

Someone had managed to find the speaker and turn it off so everyone could hear Calum. Your heart was beating out of your chest, not from the alcohol buzzing through your system, but because of the drunk boy standing before you. 

Calum raised his cup to the crowd. “I’d like to raise a toast to the girl who broke my heart,” he announced sloppily. “The “heartbreak girl” herself, y/n l/n.” Calum clapped loudly. He was the only one who was clapping while you stood there in shock and humiliation. “I loved you, you know?” he sniffed. “And I bloody well still do. Tia’s great, though. Absolutely nothing wrong with you, Tia, I hope you know that. But you’re not the one. y/n right here, she’s the one.” 

His brown eyes, red from drinking and smoking God knows what, teared up as he looked down at you. “But what I can’t figure out is why won’t she love me?” Calum threw back the rest of his drink and winced at how strong it was. “I was getting ready to propose to you, you know?” he told you. “I had the ring in my pocket, and I was just waiting for the perfect moment.” Calum chuckled to himself bitterly. “Guess I fucked that up tremendously.”

“Calum, stop,” you pleaded. 

“Why should I?” he asked you incredulously. “You didn’t stop packing your things when I asked you to. You didn’t stop running when I chased after you in the dark. You didn’t stop when you booked that flight across the country to run away from me.” 

Tears were streaming down your face now. “It wasn’t like that, Cal,” you cried. “W-we broke up for a reason-”

“And that’s what I can’t wrap my head around!” he shouted. “You barely gave me a reason! You told me you never saw me anymore. I was willing to make more time for you, to end my career for you, to get down on one knee and be with you, and that wasn’t enough! There had to be another reason-”

“There wasn’t, Cal!” you sobbed. “So drop it, please.” 

Silence spread throughout the whole house. No one moved an inch, too shocked to make a single sound or move. All that could be heard was the sounds of your messy sobs that you failed to keep in. Cal dropped his cup and gestured his hands at you. 

“The Heartbreak Girl, everyone,” he announced with a broken sigh. “Hope you enjoyed this one hell of a show, with your heartbroken host, Calum Thomas Hood.”

You ran out of the house as fast as your feet could take you. The air was brisk in your lungs, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t care when the man you loved poured his heart out to you, only for you to squash it like it was nothing. 

“y/n!” you heard a voice call out for you. You whipped around to see Tia, scrambling to catch up to you. In the back, you could see the band -minus Calum- and their significant others peering out the glass door to see what was going on. 

Tia grabbed your hand tightly. “y/n, fuck, I’m so sorry about Calum,” she apologized, swearing profusely. “I don’t know what’s gotten into him. First we were talking about our relationship then-“

“Please, don’t bring up your relationship,” you cut her off, roughly shaking your head. “I know I gave you my blessing, but please I can’t bear to get my heart broken again.” 

“You don’t understand!” Tia pushed. “We don’t have a relationship to begin with! y/n, I never asked Calum to be my boyfriend, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t interfere with a love as great as yours and his.”

You stumbled backwards. “What?” 

Tia nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “y/n, you and Calum are endgame, don’t you see? I only talked to him tonight to explain that you still loved him. I guess he was too caught up in the alcohol to think rationally.” 

“Tia,” you said, voice dripping in disappointment and dread. “That wasn’t your secret to tell him.”

“Were you going to say anything?” she shot back. “You weren’t, so I had to take matters into my own hands. n/n, I’m a firm believer in fate and second chances. This is your chance at making everything right-“ 

“But I can’t!” you cried, ripping your hand away from hers. “Don’t you get it? I’m the one that’s killing him! I put him through hell and I can’t continue to do that. Why can’t you see that I’m a fucked up mess that ruins everything I touch? I love Calum, I’ll never stop loving him, but I’m not blind enough to not see that my love is torturing him slowly.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration. Tears reappeared in the corner of your eyes, but you were too tired to wipe them away. “I’m never going to be enough for Calum,” you confessed. “That’s why I broke up with him. I can’t watch him waste his life away on a girl that’s only going to disappoint him. I’m not like you, Tia. I’m not perfect, or beautiful, or smart, or anything remotely interesting. And one day, Calum is going to see that and realize he missed his opportunity to find someone good for him, someone that he deserves.

“I don’t deserve him, Tia,” you finished in a broken whisper. “I never will. So I’d rather fade into the background and be a distant memory than become a face he can’t stand to look at.” 

“That’s not true,” Tia insisted, tears gracefully falling down her beautiful face. “y/n, you have to believe me when I say that’s not true.”

A car drove down the street, approaching the two of you. You let out a sigh of relief, recognizing it as your uber. “I don’t have to believe you,” you replied, opening the car door. “My word is all that I need.”

—

Calum woke up the next day with a pounding headache. He groaned aloud, sitting up on the couch and cradling his head. He wished he was drunk enough that night to forget everything that happened, but he remembered every single detail. From the beat of the bass from the stereo to the way your dress hugged your curves he loved to kiss and hold. 

He finally pushed you away, he realized. And for good, this time. Calum felt dread and regret rush through his system, and all he wanted was to crawl into his bed and sleep his life away. 

“You know grumbling isn’t going to cure a hangover,” Tia’s reprimanding voice rang through the living room. 

Tia. Calum jumped up to face her where she had been leaning against the door frame.

“Oh Ti,” he sighed, covering his face in embarrassment. “I’m so sorry for last night, I must have humiliated you. I’m a right idiot, and I’m so sorry I put you through that.” 

“Oh shut up,” Tia laughed, walking over to him and sitting him down. “I can’t say that I wasn’t hurt, but I also can’t say I was surprised with how things turned out.” Calum hung his head low, ashamed of his behavior. He never wanted to hurt either of you. “Cal, you don’t have to be so sullen. It’s okay, there’s no hard feelings or bad blood between us.”

When Calum couldn’t bring himself to respond, Tia decided to take it a step further. “I always knew you loved her,” she confessed. “That’s why I brought it up to you last night. I wanted both of you to work things out. She really does love you.” 

Calum let out a bitter laugh. “She sure has a way of showing it,” he muttered. “Tia, don’t make me feel worse by feeding me lies. It hurts enough that I hurt both of you, don’t make it worse by saying that bullshit.” 

“I’m telling the truth!” she fought back. “y/n still loves you, she told me that herself.”

“Then why did she break up with me?” Calum retorted. “If her love never left the table, where was it when she broke things off? Correct me if I’m wrong, Tia, but I don’t think that’s how you treat the people you supposedly love.” 

Tia screwed her eyes shut, heaving out a sigh. “She loved you so much, she thought you deserved more,” Tia finally explained. “She let you go so that you could find someone better, someone who makes you happier.” 

“That doesn’t make sense,” Calum shook his head, eyebrows furrowed in thought. “How could she think that? No one could be better than her, um, no offense.” Tia snorted at the last part. “If anything, I thought I didn’t deserve her.”

“Well you’re both idiots,” Tia deadpanned. “You two clearly love each other more than life itself but were too blind to see you were perfect for each other.” 

Calum’s shoulders caved in as he drowned in his thoughts. His hangover headache was piercing his skull but he couldn’t care less. He couldn’t process why you’d ever think so lowly of yourself when he praised the ground you walk on. 

“How can I go back to her and repair things when I never realized she was hurting?” he asked. “Why would she ever want me back when I wasn’t there at her lowest? All the signs were there. She stopped calling me every night to talk about her day while I was away. She’d dodge my Facetimes with bullshit excuses that I failed to point out.” Calum huffed to himself, beating himself up critically. “What makes you think I won’t fuck up again when she needs me?”

“Because you’ve learned from your mistakes before,” Tia told him, rubbing his arm soothingly. “And you can learn from them again. That’s what I like about you, Cal. You always made an effort to better yourself, no matter the challenge. And if you truly love her, you’re going to end up fine.” 

Calum smiled softly at Tia’s words, raising his chin to look her in the eyes. “I love her so much,” he whispered. The bassist took her hand, squeezing it affectionately. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with us, Ti,” he apologized genuinely. “I really do hope you find someone who is willing to lay down their life for you.” 

“I’ve watched two lovers reconnect like no time has passed at all,” Tia smiled back. “Trust me, I have the groundwork laid out for what’s ahead of me.” 

Suddenly, Calum’s phone began to ring. Lunging towards the arm of the couch, Calum pulled his phone off the charger and read the caller ID. Eyes wide, he looked at Tia who gave him a knowing look. 

“I’ll start the car.” 

–

You opened your eyes, immediately squinting at the bright light. You were met once again with the familiar feeling of a skull splitting headache and aching ankle. 

“Must you always get yourself into these situations?” 

You turned to face those brown eyes and cheeky smile you adored. Calum shook his head in disbelief, taking your hand in his. “I thought you said you’d change your emergency contact,” he said in a scolding tone. 

Your face was on fire at his words. “I forgot,” you told him honestly. 

Once again, you ended up in the hospital with similar injuries to what you received at the beginning of your trip. But instead of a car accident, you’d clumsily fallen down the stairs on the way to your Uber to the airport. Luckily a neighbor next door heard the ruckus and loaded you into the Uber straight to the hospital. 

“Or it’s fate,” Calum suggested, resting his hand on the side of your head. 

“Calum,” you tried to counter.

He stopped you instantly. “I know why you ended things,” he simply told you. “And I think I deserve a say in it.” Closing your mouth, you let him speak. “You’re wrong, y/n. You do deserve me as much as I deserve you. And I love you no matter what. I don’t need a famous celebrity as my partner when I have you in my life. None of that superficial stuff matters to me, y/n, you know that. And I know that for as long as I live and you forget to change your emergency contact list, I’ll always come for you.” 

Your heart fluttered, and you allowed yourself to feel hope for the both of you. “But what if someday down the line you want more?” you asked in a small voice. 

Calum blinked away his tears. “What more can I want?” he said in response. “You’re all I want, y/n. I’m so sorry I ever made you doubt that.” 

“Don’t apologize,” you laughed, tears beginning to fall, too. “It was my stupid brain that made me doubt in the first place.” 

Calum leaned in, his lips brushing against yours. “So is that it?” he asked. “Are we done doubting? Will you finally come home, y/n? Be with me forever?” 

You raised your hand to cup his cheek. He instinctively leaned into your touch. “With you,” you told him surely. “I’m always home. I’m yours, Calum Hood.” 

–

if you enjoyed, please like and reblog! it would mean a lot to me <3

[orangeinecstasy]

Can we do BF thoughts Luke 🤍🖤

luke bf thoughts ⋆ฺ｡*:･

an: i'm so glad you guys are loving this series as much as i love writing it!!! micheal's will (hopefully) but up soon if i don't get super busy. luke is my cheat lane so i might've gotten a little carried away... enjoy!

fluff and nsfw sections included!

so much hand holding he always wants to be touching you

big pet names user. always puts "my" in front of it. i know for a fact that his favorite pet name you use for him is pretty boy

dates to music/record stores

panting each others nails

he love love loves when you do his makeup. especially before shows!!! he would 100% brag about how much he loves it while he's on stage

an ungodly amount of songs written about you

power naps together on the couch in his studio

matching converse

dinners with the other guys and their partners

weekend coffee runs

brunch every sunday especially before he leaves for tour

so many dad selfies of him when he's on tour

would totally FaceTime you to show you something that reminded him of you

sends you a postcard from every city he preforms in

annotated book swap before tour so you guys have another thing to chat about during your nightly calls

constantly asking your opinions on lyrics or melodies

such a little spoon. loves how safe you make him feel and when you play with his hair or scratch his arms, back, etc

matching jewelry

random texts or calls just because he wants to talk to you

matching for every holiday-- halloween, christmas, etc

making playlists for each other

nsfw section under the pictures

oh my god he's a munch. if he's a bad day he's eating you out, but especially if you've had a bad day, within minutes of you being in the house he's between your legs

soft and slow make outs

bondage with silky ribbons

switch with a large pleasure/soft dom lean

edging!!! he loves hearing you whine and rut into him

marking!!! loves when your lips stick marks stain his face and neck, especially if it's before a show. doesn't mind putting some lipstick on and giving you them too.

constantly fucking you when you're wearing his clothes. it just turns him on so much knowing that you chose to put something of his on

such good aftercare omg

very very vocal-- always wants to know how good you're making him feel

loves blowjobs, but not just because his dick is in your mouth. he loves watching you work, the way you sit between his legs and look up at him and how your lips get all plump and messy. the way you react when his hips buck up into you or his grip tightening around your hair. he can't get enough of it-- he can't get enough of you

i don't think he would be into food play, but there was 100% a situation with some whipped cream

hair pulling

so so so much dirty talk

king of quickies

slight exhibitionist vibes-- eating you out in a friend's bathroom, fucking in the green room before a show. he just finds it thrilling that someone else could find out how good he makes you and only you feel

so so so sweet but definitely possessive. you're his and he's yours and he wouldn't have it any other way

[bartxnhood]

wanna be yours | l.h

luke hemmings x fem!reader

summary: luke had his eyes on you from the moment you met him so, it killed him when you couldn’t take the hint that he was in love with you.

warnings: two oblivious people in love, my bad writing, mentions of a lot of drinking

a/n: someone asked for jealous and protective luke ??? say no more. feedback is appreciated ! ALSO didn’t exactly turn out how i originally thought but it’s a good start !! enjoy !!

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

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there is a scene in a movie where the lead character and the love interest lock eyes.

they lose sight of everything around them, leaving just each other in focus. you never liked seeing those kinds of movies, thought it was cliche, and never believed in love at first sight. if you're being honest, it was overdone, unrealistic, and plain annoying.

but, it was fate that it would fall on you.

you didn't enjoy parties because there were too many people there, you didn't like drinking, and people were making out all over the place, some of whom were newlyweds and others who were having affairs. you hated being messy, and gatherings were messy. also, you made an effort to limit the number of your friends because you found it uncomfortable to be surrounded by so many people.

but ashton, your best friend, pleaded with you to attend this particular gathering. hours would pass, and just when you thought he had finished pleading, he would resume. so you gave in.

that’s how you found yourself at ashton's house, sitting in your car, staring at your phone, and observing the passing of time. It had been over fifteen minutes since you had first decided whether or not to do this. hearing the faint music emanating from the house, your chest felt constricted. you pushed open the car door and walked over to the home. attempting to summon the guts to enter by standing outside the front door.

when the door opened, there was a strong odor of alcohol, as well as loud music and conversation. while searching among the throng of individuals swaying their bodies against one another to find your friend, you regretted your decision to agree. when you eventually located the man after searching the kitchen, the other person standing by his side immediately caught your eye.

everything around you vanished in an instant, leaving you only able to concentrate on the man with whom you had just locked eyes. wonderfully curled hair, flawless skin, eyes the color of the sea, and just enough of his white silk shirt's buttons were undone to make you flustered. he was stunning. all of a sudden, the room contained only you and him. there was only you and him; nothing else or anyone else was important.

but you were pulled from that thought As ashton grabbed your wrist and said, "cmon!", you were jolted out of your trance-like state. ”i gotta introduce you to everyone!" the australian cheered and dragged you into the kitchen where everyone was standing; all of a sudden, you were the center of attention. you waved to the small group of people while saying, "guys, this is my amazing friend, y/n," feeling a little uncomfortable at the unexpected focus. “y/n, this is calum, michael, crystal, sierra, and luke,” ashton said as he made an introduction.

the small group of individuals exchanged smiles, and you shook hands with each person before approaching luke with a gentle "hello."

wow.

your palm touched his, you prayed he wouldn't notice your flushed cheeks, and you both nodded. he was the most stunningly handsome person you had ever seen, by a long shot. ashton once again grabbed your arm away and dragged you out of the kitchen before you had a chance to continue admiring his attractiveness. while waving the group off, you glanced over your shoulder. You weren't angry with ashton since he knew you'd never tried something like this and that you were making a big step by doing so. he also needed a reason to prove to his buddies that you were real and an important part of his life.

at night's end, you were sitting in ashton's backyard, lounging around the pool, admiring the reflection as lights danced across the water of the pool. even though roughly half of the people left, music continued to play. people said he would always throw the nicest parties, and now you understood why. but you simply weren't made for this situation; you were too uncomfortable and worn out from engaging with everyone for so long. You simply wanted to return home, binge-watch your favorite movie in the coziness of your bed, and eat some frozen pizza.

the word "hey" surprised you and made you flinch just a little. your eyes landed on the person standing above you, holding one cup while concealing the other in his pocket. luke apologized for the quick response, "oh, sorry, i thought you heard me," but you just shook your head. you shrugged and turned to face the swimming pool, saying, "no, it's alright, was just thinking." there was a little period of silence since neither of you knew exactly what to say. you had just recently met. “do you want a drink?” he asked. “oh, no thanks,” you said as you once again looked up at him. “i'm not really a drinker.” the blonde let out a gentle laugh. "but you came a party?" while scratching your forehead, you chuckled alongside him. “well, ashton is a push-“ over. yeah. that he is," luke continued your sentence and you laughed. “i think i’m heading home now, im way too tired to stay much longer”. you got out of the lawn chair facing luke.

his mind began racings, he didn’t want the conversation to end just yet. he had to think of something so he could see you more. “do you need a ride?”

your hands were crossed, and your eyes darted back to his and then to the cup in his grasp. "thanks for the offer, but I just live ten minutes away," you said. he extended his hand to you after giving you a nod and pulling it from his pocket. “it was lovely meeting you, y/n,” “you too, luke”

you had no intention of seeing luke again after that. you had your friend group, ashton had his own, and you happened to be a part of both. you had no intention of ever returning to another party unless you absolutely had to be there; that atmosphere wasn't for you. it was too much for you, and you just wished ashton would be more considerate of your decision. you knew he wanted you around; you'd been best friends since high school, and it was difficult for you both to have separate lives.

but fate had something else in store for you.

it was subtle when you first became aware of his presence. you ran into him a few times in town, which wasn't unusual. but then he'd show up at your job, or he'd find his way into the same restaurant you were in. it was amusing at first because what are the chances you'd keep meeting like this?

so you confronted him one day. “you know, if you keep this up you’ll have to take me out for coffee” you started, putting down the record you pick up. this was one of the many times you had run into luke while running errands. this time, the both of you ended up in a local record store. you heard him chuckle softly before turning to you, “are you asking me out on a date?” he leans against the shelf raising his eyebrow. you shrug, “more like telling you to take me out” he nods, leaning in closer. “i see..then i guess i’ll see you tomorrow?”

you and luke are two opposites but somehow you two hit it off

he drinks while you don’t.

despite your differences, you detested parties, and luke's life was spent drinking; not you. you've never thought that opposites attract. yet it was odd because as time went on, you discovered that you were rather similar. you and luke had a lot in common, and you got along just well. it was never dull or tiring since the two of you could converse for as long as it took, even until the sun rose. you frequently found yourself stranded in ashton's or calum's backyard, relaxing on the chairs after talking until the wee hours of the morning like you were adolescents.

each time the two of you are in close contact, there is tension. You adored the quiet glances you two shared. It was much more enjoyable because it seemed as though the two of you were barred from being together.

It was never meant to go this far. You'd been hanging out with Luke for quite some time. you've been wanting to be with him every other day for at least a few months now, waiting for his texts or calls saying he wanted to hang out or if he found a new restaurant he thinks you'd like. or the way he'd subconsciously hold the small of you back while leading you through a crowded area, or how he'd always go out of his way to make sure you got home safely.

it was never supposed to escalate this quickly.

you found yourself wanting to hang out with him even more, wondering if Luke would be there when ashton asked you to hang out. You started thinking about him all the time.

that's when it started getting more complicated. you knew something between you changed after being with him so long. and although you knew how it changed you, you were too scared to jeopardize anything between you not when it was fresh.

truthfully, you just displayed to him, that you'd always be available. you could say no to anyone who had ever asked you out because of your newfound feelings for luke. but you couldn't tell him that, it was too soon. but even then, you couldn't get the sound of his laugh out of your mind, or the way your name rolled off his tongue like it was meant to be there. you couldn't stop picturing what it would be like to lay in his arms, limbs tangled together as he sang you the sweetest lullaby.

unknown to you, luke made an effort to avoid you in the beginning because he knew he couldn't control himself with you. no matter how hard he tried to hide himself from you or push you away, you always managed to find a way into his head like an addictive substance. as you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen, he wanted to shield you from all harm and evil in the world and would do whatever it took to ensure that everyone knew the two of you belonged together.

but, did you know that?

you began to watch him from then on, looking for clues that could point you in the right direction. you'd noticed him fiddling with his rings, then grazing over the leg of his jeans or joggers, slipping his hand between you on the couch. his hand would inch across the seat, pausing now and then. then he'd retreat without much thought, preferring to rest his hand on his thigh rather than bother with yours.

nothing would have made you happier than to come across his hand. any action would be preferable to simply waiting for him to take the initiative and pleading with your eyes as if it would help. you contemplated inviting him over, striking up a conversation, or even touching his hand. Instead, you remained silent despite your strong desire to speak but your inability to do so.

you have no idea how or why you began to feel more confident around luke; you were the shy and reserved friend before meeting him, but you changed completely after meeting him. and you knew people would judge you for it, saying things like, "oh, i can't believe you'd changed yourself for a guy!" however, this was not the case. he made you feel something that you couldn't put into words. maybe he inspired you to be someone you've never been before.

you were standing outside ashton's door, picking at your nails, debating whether this was a good idea. you were dressed differently than usual, wearing a tight dress with a large leather jacket over it to try to hide your body.

something like this was extremely unusual for you, and you may have been an idiot to dress like this for a man who probably only thought of you as a friend. but it had to be worth a shot, right?

you let yourself in, the music was blaring and the pungent smell of liquor was all too familiar to you. you pushed through the people and eventually got to ashton’s living room where everyone else was. they all cheered and greeted you.

ashton hugged you first and said a bunch of drunk incoherent words about how happy he was to see you. then you greeted luke with a warm while which he reciprocated. “happy birthday luke” you said, he nodded. “thank you, y/n”.

after the small reunion, the group dissolved. everyone was off doing their own thing. you found yourself standing outside, a cup in your hand filled with whatever you found. the night air was a bit chilly which caused you to curse at yourself mentally for wearing such a short dress.

“you look nice.” luke’s voice rang as he came up behind you. You looked over your shoulder and spotted him. “thanks.” you smiled, and he raised his eyebrow. “you dress up that pretty for me?” he was standing next to you now, his comment and proximity were enough to make you blush. “and what if i did?” you retorted. luke smirked, “i’d be thankful because you look so good in that dress.”

he leaned closer, keeping eye contact with you.

he was so close to you that your heart began to beat quickly. you were attempting to read him while his eyes were staring right through you. there are two possible outcomes here. one of two things will happen: either someone will interrupt you like in a cliché movie, or he has the ideal opportunity to kiss you right now.

he leans in even closer, saying, "i'd even say that you should start dressing like this too, it suits you." you felt the blood rush to your cheeks.

kiss me. please. just do it

you wanted him to make the first move because this moment had the chance to change everything. you didn't want to appear so desperate. luke must have noticed your begging expression because he started leaning in again, this time only a few centimeters from your lips.

oh, god. it’s happening. it’s happen-

“come on man, it's time for you to open your presents!" michael interrupted the situation by shouting from the kitchen. you sighed as you saw luke leave. you could almost sense the disappointment in his eyes as he turned to look at you to check if you were following him.

“okay, and it seems the last one is from….y/n!” michael and calum handed over the large box to luke.

luke unwrapped the box, displaying the guitar case as you watched. he looked perplexed as he tried to imagine what you may have given him. the one guitar he had been dreaming about was waiting for him when he opened the case. "y/n.." He takes the guitar in his hands and places it on his lap.

everyone who was gathered around him suddenly turned to look at you. he is the last one to do so.

"you bought this?" He asks, and you nod while beaming broadly. he had never looked so startled to you. how did you know, exactly? “how…how did you?” he trailed off.

"well, you talked about it for so long, and occasionally i caught you looking it up. so i thought, why not get it for you?“ you responded.

luke stood up and hurried to you after putting the red guitar back in its case. you were engulfed by his arms, spinning you. "im grateful. I have never gotten a present better than that. I promise i’ll treasure it” he smiles, “i know you will luke”.

and for the rest of the night, everything went great. until it didn’t.

"y/n," ashton said, pulling you out of your thoughts.

"hm?" he had a mischievous smile on his face as you dropped your phone to your lap. "have you ever tried playing the drums?" "no?" you shook your head. It came out as a question as if you were asking yourself a question. "why?" he approached you and reached for your wrist. "you're about to!"

ashton was perched on the stool and sat you down on his lap, having handed you his drumsticks and demonstrated how to hold them properly as his hands caressed yours. he explained that he would only have you play a simple beat. he taught you the basics and then let you play a few beats on your own. you didn't notice how close ashton was, how his breath tickled your spine, or how delicately his hand held yours.

you two were laughing because you couldn't play because you had almost no rhythm. "this is exactly why you guys are musicians," you laughed, rising from ashton's lap and returning his sticks. "nah, practice enough and you'll get good enough to join the band," he winked.

luke watched the scene unfold in front of him, how close ashton was, the way he eyed you like you were some kind of prey. his hand was supporting his chin, his elbow was resting on the couch arm, and his jaw was locked. luke began tapping his finger impatiently against his cheek, were you so oblivious? everyone was making moves toward you, and you didn't even look at him? he pushed himself off the sofa and out of the room to get some fresh air. if he was in there any longer he would explode.

he hated the fact that, despite your lack of effort, you had him in your grasp. luke hated how near the guys were to you and how they treated you like they were hunting prey. how did you not notice how they eyed you? how the other boys treated you like some kind of object. especially ashton.

we’re you so oblivious to their advances? did you not see how luke wanted to rip you away from them and keep you all to himself?

did you even notice his attempts to try and win you?

He wanted the world to know how badly he wanted you, how you were his, and that despite his best efforts to deny it, he was falling in love with you. Luke had difficulty accepting it, but he would go to the ends of the earth for you.

“what was that about?” you ask, after watching luke exit the room. calum shrugged, “who knows. it’s luke” he didn’t look at you as he was nose deep in his phone. you looked around the room, everyone seemed not interested. “he probably left because ashton was feeling you up” someone added. you huffed, grabbed your jacket, and walked outside to the patio.

you saw his silhouette and walked up to him. “luke?” he didn’t respond and you walked closer. “lu?” you spoke the nickname you had given him. he finally turned back to look at you.

you saw that look in his eyes, the only look he had when looking at you. “luke, what’s going on? why’d you walk out like that? did i do something wrong?” his back was still turned to you, refusing to look at you. “you just don’t get it, do you?” he still wouldn’t face you. “get what, luke? the fact that you’re ignoring me in front of everyone and leaving me in the dark.” you were feeling frustrated, upset that he wouldn’t even look at you. “god, luke, just look at me!” you grabbed his arm, spinning him around so he’d have to look at you now.

“talk to me.” you pleaded. your eyes begging as you stared into his blue eyes. luke hated it, he hated how you had him in the palm of your hand ready to do anything for you if you’d just say the words. he detested that no matter how hard he tried, it would always be you. “oh, baby,” his hand caressed your cheek. “don’t make me spell it out for you…you know i want you”

“what?” you were only able to mutter, feeling the heat take over your face. maybe it was the liquor, or maybe it just was the fact that he said those words. you opened your mouth to say something but he cut you off. “every fucking day, I wish you were mine- every single goddamned day.”

you removed his hand from your cheek, silently missing his touch. “how was i supposed to know you felt more for me than just a friend, lu?” you saw his brows furrow. “you never explicitly told me, you wanted me..why?” you trailed off, you watched as he tried to come up with an explanation. “you never, ever, use your words like.”

you watched as he examined your face. you were mad but calm. it scared him, we’re you about to reject him? “for someone who writes songs for his job, he would be able to express his feelings freely. i guess not.”

“how did you expect me to decipher the hundred different ways you look in my direction? this isn’t just on me yknow. luke goes quiet, his eyes looking deeper into your eyes than before.

“i thought my actions would say all they needed to” you reply, “i thought you were just acting as a friend? you and all the guys act the same” luke locks his jaw, balling his fits by his side. “they act that way because they want to fuck you y/n.” you look taken aback legging out a scoff.

“so what about you, then?” “what about me?” “are you acting this way because you want to fuck me?” you smirk as luke realizes he backed himself into a corner.

“i—no? that’s not what—fuck.” he runs his hand through his hair. “let me start over. y/n, i’m sorry i wasn’t honest and i’m sorry i didn’t use my words. but i want you more than a friend should and i need to know, do you want me that way too?” you try to hide your smile while you step closer and wrap your arms around his neck. “see now was that so hard?”

he looks down at you, raising his eyebrow. “you didn’t answer the question.” you let the smile take over fully. “luke hemmings i have been tripping over my feet since the day we first met. yes, i very much want you too.”

he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, allowing him to peck your lips. “i was hoping you’d say that”

(and you can predict the end u filthy ppl<3)

[valentiyne]

𝖫𝗈𝗌𝗍 𝗂𝗇 𝗒𝗈𝗎 ☆ 𝖼𝖺𝗅𝗎𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗈𝖽

Dark!Calum Hood x Fem!Reader Summary: Requested! He doesn't usually get his hands dirty, but no one messes with you. Warnings: Swearing & light bar fight violence Word Count: little under 1.2k (not proofread) Copyright © 2024 Valentiyne. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

He's here, for the third time this week.

He sits at the bar, fifth seat down from the first, closest to me. I never got his name the first time he came in, and he never got mine.

He stares up at the television on the wall above the liquor, pretending to be amused by the re-run of a random ball game.

"Your usual?" I ask him, turning to face him.

He raises his head to look at me, his brown eyes burning into my soul as he cracks the first smile of the night.

"Yeah, you know me so well sugar"

Whiskey on the rocks, two sugar cubes, and a bowl of today's soup - three crackers. I've grown used to him. Every few days for the past four months he'd come into the bar and sit there in silence until my shift was up. My coworkers joked he was my personal bodyguard.

Today was no different, I was alone at the bar tonight since it was close to closing time. Aside from my stranger, there was a small group of guys in the corner on their seventh round. I knew I'd have to cut them off after this one, but to avoid confrontation I'm waiting until I'm done cleaning.

I hand the stranger his bowl of soup and whiskey, my eyes wandering back over to the gentlemen who now were making a ruckus.

"You're forgetting something" His voice is low and I snap my attention to him quickly, glancing over the bar top. "Oh! right"

I slide three sugar cubes over to him, smiling slightly before looking back up at the corner of the bar. The men were silent now, looking over at me with annoyed eyes.

"Hello? Can we get another round?"

I blink a few times, leaning forward to block his whiskey from their view, "Oh...I'm sorry, the bar is..erm It's closed now and I can't serve you anymore..." The men groan loudly, slamming their hands on the tables before standing up quickly. My stomach lurches and I avoid my gaze.

From the corner of my eye, I see something flying toward me and I duck down just in time for a duke glass to shatter on the mirrored wall behind me. I turn quickly and watch the guys begin to laugh hysterically.

The stranger's head snaps up now, eyeing them from the now-cracked mirror behind the liquor. My breath hitches and he stands now, finishing his whiskey and turning towards the men,

He slams the glass down on the bartop and storms towards the men, his fists clenched. "That's enough!" he exclaims, his voice loud enough to be heard over theirs. "This is a fucking bar, not a playground. You need to get the hell out and let the poor lady clean"

The men begin to chuckle, looking among themselves before the stranger's fist connects to the closest man's cheek. The drunkard staggers back, losing his balance due to the impact. He falls flat on his back, landing hard on the sticky bar floor. The other drunks are too shocked to do anything but stare, their mouths agape and their bottles of beer still in their hands.

As the stranger looms over the fallen man, his fists clenched and his face twisted into a snarl, the man on the floor looks up at him with fear in his eyes. The stranger's eyes burn with anger, but he doesn't move - he just stares down at the fallen man, his whole body tense with rage.

The bar has gone completely silent. No one moves or speaks, not even I. The only sound is the drunken breathing and slurred words of the fallen man on the floor. After a few moments of silence, the drunk men scurry out of my bar and down the street, screaming nonsense.

I went to thank the stranger, but to my surprise, he was already leaving.

Just as suddenly as he appeared, the stranger turned and left as quickly as he came, disappearing into the alleyway. I quickly followed after, locking the back door with my lanyard and rushing the direction he was headed.

"Hey!!"

I run down a dimly lit alleyway, chasing after the stranger, determined to catch up to him. I can hear the soft pitter-patter of his footsteps echoing off the walls, and I rush to match them as quickly as I can. I finally spot him a few feet ahead, a cigarette between his lips as he walks cooly.

"Wait up" I jog a bit faster, catching up to him and placing my hand on his forearm to stop him. He begins to slow, turning to face me with a smile. He takes a long drag on his cigarette before flicking it, the orange ember lighting up the darkness for just a moment. He looks at me for a long moment, his smile growing bigger as he notices my hand on his forearm.

"Sugar"

I rub my arm sheepishly, looking around the dark alleyway we stood in, "You didn't need to do that, I would've been fine"

He scoffs, putting the cigarette back between his lips, "You gave me three sugar cubes instead of two- it was bothering you"

He leans down to look closer at my face, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks me up and down. His eyes are sharp and piercing, like a hawk analyzing its prey. He takes another drag on his cigarette, the smoke puffing out his nose with each breath.

"What's your game, sweetheart?" he asks, his voice low and husky. "Why are you really here?"

I laugh now, shaking my head and rubbing my forehead with the palms of my hands. He was right, never once did I mess up his lasting order.

"I'm Y/n"

He nods, looking me up and down, "I don't do the whole relationship shit"

"Who said I wanted anything? I just want to know who has been sitting in my bar" I cross my arms, stating matter of factly.

He smiles slightly, flicking the amber from the cigarette, "Calum"

We stare at each other for a few moments, letting the cold air and smoke dance around us before he speaks. "I believe you owe me another drink"

I crack a smile, nudging him softly, "The bar is actually closed.. maybe tomorrow night?"

"Good thing I have whiskey at my place."

[irwinsblender]

reassurance

A/N: hi everyone!! this is my first fanfic that i’m posting on here and the first ever oneshot that i’ve written! as it’s coming up to christmas I decided to write a festive themed oneshot as my first post! i hope you enjoy :)

pairing: ashton x reader

summary: reader has worries about meeting ashton’s family in person for the first time

warnings: a small amount of anxiety

word count: 1k

✩ ✩ ✩

Usually, you were always excited for the Christmas season. Celebrating with loved ones and giving out gifts had always been your favourite thing to do.

This year was slightly different.

Ashton had suggested spending Christmas in Australia with his family this year. After many video calls had gone well with them, he assumed it wouldn’t be a big deal for you. Of course, it wasn’t at first. You were over the moon about getting to go to his home country for the first time.

With your flight there coming up in a few days time, you’d both been packing your bags in preparation. Including any gifts that had been bought for his family.

When you decided on taking a break from packing, Ashton offered to pick up some food. Expecting you to be ready to eat once he returned. Instead, he found you sitting out on his back porch, staring out at the darkening sky above.

He considered leaving you to your thoughts, thinking that you’d been okay all day. Something inside him told him that he couldn’t leave you alone. Something was wrong.

The back door opening caught your attention, glancing back to see Ashton walking outside. You sighed, leaning your head against the back of the chair you were sat on. He joined you, sitting down, waiting until you were ready to talk.

You cuddled into Ashton’s side, slipping your arms around his torso with your head against his shoulder. His arm draped around your shoulders.

“Everything okay, baby?” Ashton asked.

You shrugged, not sure how to tell him that you were freaking out about meeting his family in person for the first time.

“Is it about Australia?” He tried to answer for you if you didn’t want to speak. You nodded. “You’re worried for the flight? I know you’re concerned about how long it’ll be.”

“No, it’s not that,” you closed your eyes, trying to figure out how to explain your feelings. “I’m anxious… about meeting your family.”

“Oh,” he said. Not expecting you to say that. “You’ve been alright talking to them on our calls though, haven’t you?”

“This is different though, a lot different,” you sat up again, crossing your legs in front of you as you faced Ashton. “It’s not talking to them through a screen this time, I’ll be seeing your mum, your siblings, your grandparents, it’s a lot, Ash.”

With the way your voice almost broke at the end, Ashton couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen a hint of your anxiety to meet them sooner. You’d talked many times since agreeing, and none of those times had you expressed how worried you were becoming.

“You’re good at talking to people you haven’t met before,” Ashton tried to remind you. “You were fine talking with the guys the first time you met them.”

You looked away from Ashton after he said that, seeing the sun getting lower and lower. With how you were sat, Ashton moved to rest his hand on your knee, caressing his thumb back and fourth to comfort you.

“I’m not worried about talking to them,” you finally admitted. “I’m worried that they won’t like me.”

“Baby…” Ashton looked at you with a sad expression, the same way he always looked when you said things like that. “They like you already, they’ve seen the way you are on call, or when we’ve posted together.”

“How can you say that when they haven’t met me? Yes, we’ve talked, but over a video call.” You slouched in your seat, running one hand frustratedly through your hair. “I’m different in person than over the phone, you know that better than anyone. I’m quiet if someone calls me, but I can be the loudest person in the room when I hang out with our friends.”

“You’re my girlfriend, they’ll like you, baby.”

“just because I’m your girlfriend doesn’t mean they’ll like me.” You replied stubbornly.

Ashton figured he’d have to take a different approach to how you were thinking. He moved to face you more, patting his lap for you to sit on, which you could never say no to. Now sat comfortably with your hands in his, he continued talking.

“They haven’t chosen whether to like you or not depending on if you’re quiet in one setting or loud in another,” he placed his hands on your waist, rubbing up and down softly. “They liked you even before they saw your face. They liked you as soon as they realised how happy you make me. All they’re worried about is that you care for me and love me.”

You nodded, listening to what he said to you. What he was saying was true in every sense. Your parents were the same with him. As long as you’re happy, and as long as he takes care of you, they couldn’t not like him.

“and you do care for me. Every day you care for me, and love me, I feel it every second we’re together.” He cupped your cheek in his palm as you leaned into his grip. “They like you because I’ve told them about the real you, the you that I fell in love with, the you that I want to be with forever.”

“What if I mess up or say something wrong as soon as we get there?”

“I’ll be there to jump in,” He reassured. “If you get too anxious, I’ll start talking. If you aren’t sure what to say, I’ll talk for you. Until you’re more comfortable with my family I’m more than happy to do whatever you need to feel okay.”

You took a breath as you nodded at him. Feeling slightly better about this whole situation. All you needed was a little reassurance from Ashton, and that’s exactly what you got.

“I love you, you know that right?” You chuckled softly.

“And I love you,” Ashton leaned in, pressing a delicate kiss to your lips. “You’ll talk to me next time you have any worries?”

“Yea, I will.” You promised, looping your arms around his neck as he hugged you closer to him.

For now, everything had turned out okay in the end. You’d admitted how you felt, Ashton understood and didn’t mind at all. He was going to suggest going inside when you spoke again.

“What if your sister doesn’t like me?” You asked.

“Don’t give me that! You two are practically best friends already.” Ashton laughed. “Now, come on, we should eat before the food’s completely cold.”

✩ ✩ ✩

[ughkat]

focus on me | l.r.h

part six

part five here

college tutor luke au

{ things are getting spicy }

tutor!luke x fem!reader

smut, quickie, sneaky sex, bj, kissing, petnames, fluff, tutor x student, swearing

not proofread

-

Monday

10:45 am

My professors words were jumbled into incoherent mumbles, I bit my thumbnail relentlessly as my foot tapped the floor with anticipation. I had 15 minutes left of class before going in blind to my lunch session with Luke.

My eyes stared blankly ahead of me, every few moments glancing to the clock. The simple knowledge that Luke was present on campus turned my stomach. I had no recollection of what my professor had been speaking about, my mind had been swiped blank by the intimidating company of the blond close by.

I counted every second as the minutes passed, unconsciously ripping the skin from around my thumbnail with my teeth as I was growing more and more antsy in my seat. The classroom was filled with a soft hum of the air conditioner, accompanied with the occasional cough or sneeze from another student. I had no preparation for my meeting with Luke, as his demeanor and tone over text was difficult to read. I didn't know if this was going to be a regular, back to normal session, or something unexpected. My breath shook, I tried my best to calm my nerves as the class came to an end.

My professor offered Luke's tutoring to the class once more before dismissal, grabbing his own belongings for his lunch hour. I watched absentmindedly as students exited the classroom, my professor stopping at my seat.

"Luke seems to be running a bit late. You're free to go get yourself some lunch and come back," He began warmly, "Or you can wait here. Up to you." He smiled, giving my chair a light tap before making his way out of the classroom. My legs felt like jelly, I wasn't confident that I wouldn't tip right over if I stood up. I stayed glued in my seat, burning my eyes into the table in front of me awaiting Luke's arrival.

I bit my cheek, checking the time which was now 11:15. My anxieties began to turn to frustration, as I selfishly started to overthink he was late on purpose. I let out a heavy sigh, my tapping foot emitting a fast thumping sound. I knew that my frustration stemmed from the anxiety of suspense, but I stubbornly blamed it on his lack of time management. I swiftly whipped out my from my bag on the floor beside me, impulsively sending Luke an anxious text.

"Where are you? I'm waiting."

I sent the message with a huff, sliding my phone on the table. I leaned back in my chair with crossed arms, glaring at my phone as I sat silently in the empty room.

"Impatient?". I swung my head around abruptly as I heard the door creak open, a deep voice emerging from behind me. Luke entered the classroom leisurely, his face plastered with a smug smile and two coffees in hand.

"You're late." I muttered, turning back around in my chair with a straight face. I heard him chuckle from behind me, his large frame pulling up a chair beside mine. He set one iced coffee on the table in front of me, scooting it closer to my body. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, he flashed me an apologetic smile.

"I could've been late with no coffee." He tilted his head. His playful demeanor uncontrollably making me crack a smile. I gave in, taking the coffee from Luke with a small giggle. I took a sip from the iced drink, Luke remembering my order perfectly. He let out a small sigh before speaking.

"I'm really sorry, Y/n." He spoke softly. I turned my head slightly to look at him, his eyes burning deeply into mine. "I should've explained myself better for you.". I looked down to my drink, toying with the straw as I took in his words.

"Yeah." I spoke quietly.

"You understand my dilemma, right?" He asked, moving his seat closer. "You know I'm not doing this to you 'cause I want to?". I glanced to him briefly before back down to my drink, his gaze was intimidating. I nodded slightly.

"It just sucks, Luke." I began, "You expect me to just come to tutoring all normal again? Like nothing?" I narrowed my eyes, turning my head to look at him. Luke sighed.

"I know. I'm sorry." He muttered, "You think it'll be easy for me to just be your tutor when I want every single part of you?" He urged. I looked away swiftly at words. "This isn't any easier for me than it is for you."

I felt his body move closer to mine, his knee brushing my outer thigh. His face was only inches from mine. We both could feel the tension in the air rising by the second, becoming desperate. I looked back up to him, his blue eyes looking into mine deeply. I wanted nothing more than for him to take me over completely. He placed a hand on my thigh gently as he spoke.

"You're all I want, Y/n." He spoke deeply. We were lost in each others gaze, our faces only inches apart. It felt as though there was a magnet pulling the two of us closer together, slowly.

Inch by inch, Luke inevitably connected our lips gently, his hand on my thigh tightening its grip. I shivered at the promiscuity of our kiss in the very accessible classroom. The kiss quickly got deeper, Luke moving his lips against mine passionately. He moved a hand up to the side of my face, our breathing slowly beginning to pick up. Luke shifted in his seat at the growing hard-on forming in his tight slacks, whimpering slightly into my mouth.

He pulled away quickly, looking at me with heavy breaths.

"We can't." He lazily shook his head, wiping his mouth with his thumb as he stood up from his seat swiftly. I stood up from mine after him, moving into him closer.

"Can't we?" I spoke softly as I looked up at him, just above a whisper while I trailed my hands down his chest, running my fingers alone his waistline. My hands shook and heart beat fast as I boldly chose my next actions, but the desperation over powered my rationality. Luke let out a shaky breath, looking to the unlocked door just a few feet away.

"Y/n..." He breathed deeply, watching my hands toy with his pants button and zipper.

"No one will be in here for another hour." I smiled, looking down at my hands. I swiftly undid the button on Luke's slacks, the zipper right after, before I dropped to my knees in front of him slowly.

"You're crazy. You're so fuckin' crazy." Luke repetitively rambled at a whisper, anxiously running his hands through his hair as he watched me in awe.

"Just be quiet." I giggled. I palmed his already hard member over his pants, emitting a groan from his lips before pulling his pants down just enough to reveal his shaft. I looked up at Luke through my eyelashes, meeting his eyes as I swiped my tongue under his tip once. He let out a heavy sigh, placing a hand on my head, stroking my hair. I opened my mouth wider, taking Luke inside my mouth fully. He brought the back of his hand up to his mouth, concealing a moan as he tossed his head back. His hand rested lazily on my head, gripping my hair slightly as I picked up a steady rhythm with my neck, taking Luke down my throat.

"Fuck, Y/n, you're so good." He whimpered, his mouth dropping to an "O". I brought a hand up, pumping and sucking Luke at the same time.

I watched him as I trembled above me, glancing to the door behind him every few seconds. Luke abruptly pulled himself out of my mouth, grabbing me from under my arms.

"Get up here." He growled. He swiftly lifted me from the ground, placing me on top of my desk facing him. Luke leaned in vigorously and connected our lips, bringing his hands down to my waistband and pulling my jeans down just to my knees. He effortlessly propped my feet up, leaving my knees against my chest and eager heat exposed. Both of us shook with adrenaline, trying to quickly get our deed done in the public classroom.

"Can you stay quiet for me, sweetheart?" He cooed, lining himself up with my folds. I wiggled my hips eagerly, his tip prodding against my hole. Wasting no time, Luke slipped himself inside of me, letting out a breath as my slick walls wrapped around him. Immediately, a loud squeal escaped my lips, making Luke's hand fly to my mouth to silence me. His other hand held my leg up underneath my thigh as he let out a chuckle.

"Quiet, doll. You don't wanna get caught, do you?" He spoke deeply, picking up his pace. I looked down to where Luke and I connected, my toes curled at the sigh of him finally inside of me. I let out another muffled whine into Luke's hands as he kept up his vigorous pounding. I quickly glanced up to the clock, then to the door behind Luke, still cautious of our surroundings in the open classroom. Luke noted my concerns, moving my face with his hand to look back at him.

"Don't worry about anyone else, doll. Focus on me." He spoke deeply, looking into my eyes as he made me focus solely on his member pumping in and out of me euphorically.

"You like being fucked where anyone can see?" Luke chuckled, moving in closer and connecting his forehead to mine, "You like being my slut, doll?". I nodded frantically, my whimpers continued to be muffled my Luke's hands.

"Fuck, doll, you're so tight around my cock." He groaned, watching himself pumping into me vigorously.

Luke quickly glanced to the clock, noting we had 10 minutes until the next class would begin to arrive.

"How fast can you cum for me, baby?" He cooed, bringing a hand up to my sensitive bud, rubbing fast circles into my clit. I dug my teeth into Luke's hands, looking up at him. My walls began to clench around his member, my climax rising quickly.

"That's a good girl. C'mon, doll, cum for me." He growled, keeping a steady rhythm with his thumb and pounding. I tossed my head back, shaking under Luke as I released about his throbbing member. My climax bringing him to his on my thigh quickly after.

With no time for catching a breath, Luke quickly retreated any tissue box he could find and cleaned his mess from my leg, assisting me in standing up and putting my pants back on. We silently slumped back into our chairs, breathing heavy as we collected our thoughts. Beads of sweat collected at Luke's forehead, his blond curls sticking to his skin. My hair laid messy down my back.

"That's not what I meant by we'll talk on Monday." Luke half joked, giving me a side eye. Giving us no time to debrief, the clock ticking to 12:15 and my clueless professor bursting through the door made us quickly adjust ourselves in our seats, trying to act nonchalant.

"Afternoon, Luke." He greeted with a smile, making his way to his desk. Luke smiled with a nod, his ability to act like he wasn't jack hammering me into the table just a couple minutes ago bewildered me. "You're real sweaty. Good session?". My professor raised his eyebrows, still completely clueless. Luke glanced to me briefly with wide eyes, then back to the professor.

"Definitely. Getting better every session." He smiled smugly, turning to look at me. My professors eyes flashed to me, my eyes now meeting his. I smiled with a nod at confirmation.

"That's right." I spoke. My professor nodded, placing his books onto his desk enthusiastically.

"That's great to hear, Y/n.". Luke and I shared a glance, unsure of our next move as I had a class I was now late to. Luke stood up with an uneasy sigh, meeting my eyes once more before turning to the door.

"Uhm. I'll see you tomorrow.". He gave me a look as if to say something which was unsaid. I watched as he exited the room, left to my own devices until I heard from him next, which was too left unknown.

[alisonsfics]

disney day date

pairing: calum hood x reader

summary: as the a manager for the band, you got to spend the their day off on tour with them at disney world. it may push calum to make a move since he’s always had a soft spot for you.

word count: 3.3k

“Why am I missing somebody?” You mumbled to yourself, recounting the number of people in the van.

“Oh, I know why? Where is Calum?” You huffed. You grabbed your phone out of your pocket and quickly dialed his number. The phone rang and rang. “I haven’t seen him at all this morning.” Luke mentioned.

You let out of a sigh as you got Calum’s voicemail. “You all stay here. I’ll go get Cal, and then we can leave.” You told them, heading back into the hotel.

You were the guys’ manager, and today was a non-show day on tour. You all had decided to go to Disney for the day.

You got out of the elevator on the sixth floor and walked to Calum’s door. You knocked on the door. “Calum, are you in there?” You called out.

You heard a lot of noise coming from inside his room, and then the door swung open. Calum looked like a mess. His hair curls were all covering his face, and he didn’t even have a shirt on.

“Oh, uh hi,” you mumbled, left speechless by what you saw in front of you.

“You like what you see?” He teased you. You rolled your eyes and playfully hit his arm. “Oh shut up, you were supposed to be downstairs like 15 minutes ago.” You scolded him, doing anything to bring the conversation away from how you were ogling him.

“I’m so sorry. I missed my alarm this morning.” He said, inviting you inside. Calum walked into the bathroom and spritzed himself with cologne. You were almost drooling as you saw his back muscles flex.

To say you had a thing for Calum would be an understatement, but you were their manager, and you had no idea if your feelings were reciprocated.

Calum patted his pockets checking for his phone and wallet. You grabbed the tshirt that he had lying out on his bed. “Am I missing anything else?” He asked, walking out of the bathroom.

“A shirt might be helpful,” you told him, handing it to him. His cheeks flushed red. You both were good at teasing each other. If one of you had a sassy comeback, you knew it was only seconds til the other person made another joke.

“I thought you liked me better without a shirt?” He quipped, tilting his head to the side. It was your turn for your cheeks to heat up. You stepped forward to hit his arm.

He took a step back and held his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he said, pulling the shirt over his head.

You rolled your eyes and grabbed his arm. “Let’s go, Hood.” You said, pulling him downstairs.

You got to the van, and Calum slid the door open for you. You thanked him as you stepped into the van, taking a seat next to Luke. Calum took the other empty seat next to you. “Somebody finally made it.” Michael exclaimed.

You noticed that the guys had rearranged where they were sitting while you had been upstairs. They no doubt had done this to make sure you and Calum were forced to sit next to each other.

Once you both had buckled your seatbelts, the driver pulled away from the curb. “So what took you two so long?” Ashton teased the both of you.

Calum shot Ashton a death glare. You threw up your middle finger. “I have your ticket, Irwin. Don’t piss me off.” You threatened. This earned a few chuckles from the rest of the guys.

Everyone started their own little side conversation. Ashton and Michael were talking about some new album they had listened to. Luke and Sierra were talking about Petunia. The few crew members were all talking amongst themselves.

Calum lightly placed his hand on your knee, tapping your skin with his index finger. You looked over at him. He leaned in toward your ear. “I’m sorry about being late this morning.” He whispered, not wanting to draw attention to your conversation.

You placed your hand on top of his. “Calum, I swear, I’m not mad. It’s no big deal.” You assured him. When you removed your hand from his, he kept his hand placed on your knee. You could feel the butterflies inside your stomach.

You made eye contact with Michael, and his eyes darted to Calum’s hand on your leg. He smirked at you, to which you returned a glare.

He chuckled at your reaction and went back to his conversation. “What was that about?” Calum asked, leaning in towards you again. You shook your head, dismissing it. “Just Michael being Michael,” you explained.

Calum chuckled, knowing exactly what you meant. The butterflies in your stomach only got worse when you heard Calum laugh. You leaned your head over onto Calum’s shoulder. His cheeks immediately turned bright red.

Ashton managed to take a sneaky picture of the two of you. He knew you’d want it after you finally confessed your feelings.

The van pulled up to the front gates. You got out of the van, and everyone gathered around you. You grabbed the stack of tickets out of your backpack and handed them out to everyone.

After you did that, Calum pulled you to the side. “You want to hang out together?” He suggested, praying that you would say yes.

“Yeah, of course,” you told him, smiling. Calum swore his heart skipped a beat.

“Everybody pick a ride buddy,” Luke joked, imitating a school teacher on a field trip. “I call dibs,” Calum announced quickly, and grabbed your hand. This earned a few chuckles from the other guys. “We all know why,” Ashton muttered.

“C’mon, Calum. Let’s go,” you said, tugging his hand. Calum had a lovestruck smile on his face. Anytime the guys teased the two of you, he worried you’d find about his feelings towards you. For the past year, you and Calum had a will-they-won’t-they thing going on.

Calum hated that he hadn’t been able to make himself confess his feelings, but he didn’t want to risk your friendship.

“Hey, you two, wait up.” You heard Luke call from behind you both. You and Calum turned around and saw Luke and Sierra walking towards you.

“You guys mind if we hang out with you?” Sierra asked you, smiling.

“No, we don’t mind at all.” You responded.

You all walked into the park, and you instantly felt super excited. You grabbed onto Calum’s arm, and you were practically skipping.

You caught Calum staring at you with a giant grin on his face. “You look really happy,” he said. He couldn’t get the smile off his face from seeing you all giddy.

“I have severely needed this, Cal. I have been babysitting you four for two months on tour. Some Disney magic is just what I need.” You told him, giggling.

You saw Sierra drag Luke toward the castle to take a picture. “Would you like to take a photo with me?” Calum asked, nudging your shoulder.

“Is that even a question?” You responded. On tour, you were always taking pictures of the guys behind the scenes and whatnot.

Calum pulled his phone out of his pocket, and you both posed for some selfies. Knowing Calum wouldn’t make a move, you leaned over and kissed his cheek for one of the pictures.

Luke and Sierra were still taking pictures, so you both ran up behind them and photobombed.

The first ride you chose to do was Haunted Mansion. You and Calum were in your own little cart, and so were Luke and Sierra. The ride started to move into the darkness.

You noticed Calum scooch closer to you, so your legs were pressed up against each other. “You scared, Cal?” You teased him. You couldn’t see him, but you know you earned an eye-roll. “I am not. I’m just trying to keep you from getting scared.” He replied.

“Oh, what a gentleman,” you said, giggling. You rested your hand on Calum’s thigh. You honestly worried that the two of you would never be brave enough to confess your feelings.

The ride came to halt, and a message played about how the ride would be running shortly.

“Calum, keeps your hands to yourself.” Luke and Sierra yelled towards you both.

“Our friends are kinda pains in my ass,” Calum joked, making you giggle. “Yeah, but I don’t think they mean anything by it.” You lied.

“Y’know, we could always mess with them and tell them we made out.” Calum joked, out of nowhere. You gasped. “Calum becoming the prankster? I like it.” You said, having to stop yourself from suggesting you should just actually make out.

You heard a mechanical whirring noise, and you anticipated the ride was about to start. You were listening to the noise and then, “Boo!” Calum whisper-yelled in your ear, causing you to jump.

“You asshole,” you said, hitting his arm. Calum was in a fit of laughter after seeing the shocked look on your face. “I’m so sorry,” he said, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer to him.

The ride started and continued moving.

Once you all got off the ride, you started walking towards the rollercoaster that Luke had requested.

“So, did you know have a fun time on a ride in the dark together?” Luke asked, winking at you.

“Yeah, totally Luke, we made out.” Calum said sarcastically. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders, pulling you close to him. Luke furrowed his eyebrows, looking at Calum’s face.

“Nah, if you both made out, Calum’s face would be bright red.” He said, returning to Sierra’s side up in front of you.

“Sorry about him,” Calum said, moving his arm from your shoulders. You wrapped your arms around his side. “Put your arm back. It’s been two months of tour, and my legs are sore.” You told him.

He chuckled, returning its arm to where it had been. “So, I’m just here to hold you up?” He asked, to which you nodded.

“It’s not your only purpose. You’re good company, but holding me up is one of your many benefits.” You told him, giggling.

You all continued walking, you saw Sierra taking a video of her and Luke on her phone. You didn’t think anything of it, just her taking a video for Instagram. Calum saw it too, and just before she panned the camera back to show you both, he moved his arm and took a step away from you.

It felt like a dagger to your heart. You couldn’t believe he was embarrassed to be seen with you like that. You started to doubt whether he actually had feelings for you.

“Oh, hey look, it’s the other guys,” you said, pointing to Michael, Crystal, Ashton, and some of the crew guys. You headed towards their group, desperate to get away from Calum.

Calum saw how fast you jogged over towards them, and he knew he messed up. He had only been trying to protect you. He knew if fans saw his arm around you, they’d assume you both were dating. Then, the nasty comments would start.

“Hey, you guys, we’re going to ride Space Mountain. Care to join?” You invited them all, and they all agreed.

You all were walking over there, and you were hanging out with Ashton. “So what’s up with you and Cal? You guys are normally inseparable.” Ashton said.

You shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know. I thought we were good, but he had his arm around me. Then, Sierra was taking a video, and he literally jumped away from me. How the fuck am I supposed to interpret that?” You ranted.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, man. I’ll be your new ride buddy if you want.” He suggested. You smiled at his sweet gesture. “Thanks, Ash,” you said, leaning your head on his shoulder.

Calum, who was walking a few feet behind you both, saw you do this and instantly felt jealous. He knew it was his fault, but he cared about you so much.

Throughout the whole line, Calum just stared at you the whole time. He felt more jealous than he ever had. He was jealous Ashton was making you laugh, and you looked really happy. But Calum wasn’t the one making you happy.

Due to luck, Calum got seated behind you both on the ride.

You were riding up to one of the biggest drops in the ride. You grabbed onto Ashton’s hand and got ready for the drop.

Calum saw it and thought he was going to be sick.

Calum knew he needed to apologize to you, but you wouldn’t even look in his direction. He was also worried that he might end up accidentally telling you how he feels.

You all walked to the next ride, which had a really long line. For Calum, that meant more time to think of how to apologize. His eyes were trained on you throughout the whole line.

He noticed that you started fanning yourself to cool down. He didn’t think much of it. You were outside at a theme park, and it was pretty warm.

Then, he noticed your cheeks starting to get red. No one else seemed to notice.

“Guys, I really don’t feel good,” you said, looking more faint now.

Calum didn’t waste any time. He walked towards you. You started to lose your balance, and he grabbed your arms, holding you steady.

“I’ll take you to go cool down and get you out of the heat.” He volunteered, guiding you backwards through the line.

You didn’t protest even though you were currently mad at Calum.

Calum found a gift shop that was indoors with air conditioning. He carefully helped you sit down on the floor before taking a seat next to you.

“Here, drink some of this,” he said, handing you his bottle of water. You slowly took a few sips, trying to cool yourself down.

He grabbed the hand you weren’t holding the bottle in. He slipped your hair tie off of your wrist. “Let me get your hair up off your neck,” he said, gathering your hair and pulling it into a ponytail.

“Why am I surprised you know how to do hair?” You said, smiling at him. He was happy to see that smile again, even if you were still mad at him. “I have a sister, but mainly because I’m a man of many talents,” he joked.

“You’ll have to tell me about the other ones some other time,” you flirted. Calum was more shocked by the flirty comment than you were, but he didn’t say anything about it.

You leaned over and rested your head on Calum’s shoulder. “You feeling a little better now?” He asked you, placing his hand on your knee.

“Yeah,” you said, softly. He could tell you were still a little mad at him. Things didn’t feel completely natural again yet.

He let you relax and sent the guys a text telling them where you both were.

Eventually, you noticed the rest of the guys walking into the gift shop. “You feeling better?” Sierra was the first one to ask you. You nodded your head, smiling at her.

“We were thinking about doing a water ride next, if you’re down,” Ashton told you.

You looked over at Calum. “It’s up to you, if you’re up to it. If not, I’ll stay here with you.” He told you, sweetly.

“I’m down for a water ride.” You replied. Calum carefully helped you to your feet.

You walked with Sierra and Luke most of the way to the ride. Calum’s eyes were trained on you the whole time. He was determined to keep you safe.

After waiting in the line, Calum ended up sitting behind you on the ride since it was only one person across.

You all had a blast on the ride, and the cold water made you feel a lot better.

After finishing the ride, Calum checked on you to see if you were still feeling good. You assured him you were fine, and you headed to the next ride.

You were talking to Calum in the line. You were hoping he’d bring up what happened earlier and apologize. He just avoided the topic.

You felt yourself start to shiver. Being soaking wet from the last ride meant you were now freezing. “C’mere,” Calum said, pulling you into a hug. He wrapped his arms around your body.

Calum was always warm, which helped you feel less cold. He rubbed his hands up and down your back. You could hear his heartbeat, and you noticed how it started to race.

“Hey, um,” he started to say. You looked up to meet his gaze. You figured he was finally about to apologize. Calum looked like he didn’t know what to say.

You heard him curse under his breath, and then he started to lean in. You realized he was about to kiss you.

You took a step back, pulling yourself away from him. His eyes shot open, knowing he had screwed up.

“You’re not even going to talk about it or apologize? You’re just going to try to fucking kiss me? Absolutely not.” You said, turning around and starting to leave the line.

“You alright?” Ashton called after you because he’d seen the whole interaction. You ignored him and kept walking.

“Wait, come back,” You heard Calum following behind you. You didn’t even slow your pace. Once you had left the line, you turned around.

“Leave me alone. You fucked up, Cal, now just let me have a moment to myself.” You snapped at him. You continued walking away from him.

Calum still didn’t listen. “I need to talk to you. I care about you,” he called after you.

You stopped dead in your tracks and laughed to yourself. “You care about me? Alright, fine. You wanna talk, let’s talk.” You said, dragging him over to a corner where no one was.

“Let’s start with what the hell was that kiss about?” You asked him. He scrunched his eyebrows, in confusion. “Because I have feelings for you. I was pretty sure you had feelings for me, until you started yelling.” He explained.

“Of course I have feelings for you.” You snapped, knowing it was obvious to everyone around you. This only made Calum more confused. “Then why are you mad about me trying to kiss you?” He asked you.

You rolled your eyes. “This isn’t about the kiss. This is about how you were an asshole this morning.” You had to stop yourself from yelling. Calum was speechless. He still didn’t know how to fix what was going on between the two of you.

“Did you think I didn’t notice? Sierra was taking a video, and you stopped touching me and scooted over. You made me feel like it was embarrassing for you to be seen with me. And you knew I was mad because you know me better than anyone. And you still never thought to apologize. Just when I thought you’re finally going to apologize, you fucking try to kiss me and ignore the whole thing.” You start ranting.

Calum realized how badly he had hurt you. “Oh, shit. I am so sorry. That wasn’t what I meant by that, I swear. I was worried if people saw us all touchy in a video, they would assume we were dating. I knew how brutal people would be. I was pretty sure we both felt the same way about each other, and I didn’t want you to get any kind of hate or anything. I care about you so much.” He apologized.

You cupped his face and pulled him in to kiss him. Calum quickly wrapped his arms snuggly around your waist.

“I am so sorry,” Calum whispered, leaning his forehead against yours. “It’s okay, Cal,” you said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @azghedaheda @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @guacam011y @sw33t-cupid @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @nyx2021 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @shyconversationalbookworm @shadowhuntyi @visenyaverse @ruzannetheseahorse @superdeath @wandaswifeyforlifey @spookyqueen @mcuswhore @bookwormchick91 @princess-evans-addict @n3ssm0nique @peakascum @cjand10 @namsey1987 @multitargaryen @stephv213 @warriormirkwood @one-sweet-gubler @narliesstuff @bibissparkles @happygirl-0408 @impossibleapricotlampbat @lickmymelaninn @holding-on-to-my-youth @spiderstyles04 @ahoodgirl

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[writersdare]

5SOS ♡ Masterlist

Last update: 03.08.2024

Main Masterlist | Requests are temporary closed | Prompt List | Taglist | Recommendations | Angst Endings

♡ – readers' favourite; ♥︎ – the most popular 5SOS work

Luke Hemmings

Hold Me Tight ♡ Summary: Luke has been plagued by nightmares, but Y/N was always there for him. Warning: hurt/comfort, nightmares

Let Me Love You Summary: Luke knew it wasn’t his fault Y/N didn’t let him get any closer, but he just wished to know what he could do to make it better. Warning: angsty, trusting issues, mentioning of a breakup, the reader may have low self-esteem Two Gummy Worms ♡ Summary: Luke was determined to take Y/N on a night drive. Some things, though, didn’t want to go according to his perfect plan. Warning: friends to lovers, fluff, mentioning of food

He Called Her a Fairy Summary: No matter how excited Luke was to go on tour, it was always too heartbreaking to say goodbye to Y/N. However, that parting was worth going through to meet again. Warning: hurt/comfort, angsty

Eyes Can Speak Too Summary: Being blinded by the feelings for each other, Luke and Y/N didn’t see the obvious things. Warning: friends to lovers, angst, trusting issues, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Sweeter Than Honey Summary: Spending a simple evening with Y/N, Luke realised she was always his happy place. Warning: fluff

Baby Girl Summary: Even in Y/N’s darkest times, Luke was always there to guide her to the light. Warning: hurt/comfort, disordered eating

Why Won’t You Love Me Summary: Luke and Y/N broke up after a few months of dating so they could at least remain friends, but seemed like it didn’t ease the pain. Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

Never Doubt Me Summary: A date, it would seem, could not get any worse, but then Luke remembered a painful rumour he heard about Y/N. Warning: argument

No Longer Together Summary: Trying to move on from a breakup, Luke and Y/N found each other at the same room, playing “spin the bottle”. Warning: College!AU, angst, mention of alcohol and a breakup

More coming...

Ashton Irwin

Keep It Quiet ♡ Summary: Ashton and Y/N kept their relationship a secret for a while, but one interview made the things a little complicated. Warning: none

Give Me Attention Summary: Ashton and Y/N had been friends for a while. However, everything changed once she found out an unpleasant secret he thought to hide from her. Warning: angst, an intimate moment, a bit of cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

Michael Clifford

Don’t Be a Stranger Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart. Warning: slight angst

Calum Hood

Ghost of You Summary: It had been four months of silence between Calum and Y/N. Could she finally move on?  Warning: angst All Too Well Summary: It’s the first time ever when Calum and Y/N didn’t need to be apart, as they were going on tour together. However, things could never just be perfect, could they? Warning: angst, fluff, a bit of cursing

Strawberry Jam Summary: The winter holidays were simply the best for both Calum and Y/N, especially when a heating problem in their house occurred. Warning: fluff, friends to lovers

Password Is Your Birthday ♡♥︎ Summary: Y/N never doubted Calum’s loyalty, however, once controversial photos were leaked, their relationship was put to the test. Warning: angsty, mention of alcohol

Paris Broke My Heart Part 1 | Part 2 Summary: Calum knew he’d lose Y/N each time she’d start a new relationship, but that time it was different. She was leaving the country, maybe forever. Warning: 18+ (non-detailed smut), angst, fluff, friends to lovers, cursing and mentioning of alcohol

More coming...

– photo is obv not mine and belongs to the rightful owner –

© writersdare | all rights reserved

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

[lipringlrh]

let me sleep - lrh

summary: luke’s snoring and blanket stealing has kept you awake all night. he tries to make it better when he realises.

an: happy valentine’s day! i used quite a few prompts from this list so i hope you enjoy it:)

word count: ~950

pairings: luke hemmings x genderneutral!reader

warnings: none really, just fluff and wearing someone else clothes

feedback + constructive criticism appreciated, requests are open

…

You had a terrible sleep - you'd just woken up and you already felt dreadful. Luke had spent the whole night hogging the blankets and pressing his icy feet against your legs - no matter how far you moved away, they seemed to drift back to you.

He fell asleep a lot quicker than you, and the first time he tugged the blankets off of you, you took them back rather easily. But the more it happened, the harder it was to get any for yourself.

After multiple failed hours of sleep, you were sick of it. You went down stairs and stole the two blankets off the sofa and brought them back to bed. You wrapped them around you, folding the corners into your chest so Luke had no way of stealing it. And you finally managed to sleep.

You woke up an hour later to your whole body frozen. Luke had wrapped himself in both the duvet and the blankets, leaving one leg stuck out which happened to be pressed against yours. He was snoring incredibly loudly which irritated you more and more. You began trying to lift just one of the blankets away from him to no avail. He was wrapped in them so tightly; you didn't understand how he wasn't overheating.

After that, you couldn't sleep whatsoever. You gone and borrowed one of Luke's hoodies, and a pair of his joggers, from his wardrobe yet the cold was still numbing. You'd be able to slip your feet and a small portion of one of your legs under the duvet which gave you a little comfort until Luke's legs found them and froze them again. He wasn't ill so you had no idea how he could feel so cold.

You tricked yourself into falling asleep not long later but it felt like minutes until Luke was waking you up again. He'd wanted to get up early because he knew this weekend, you'd promised each other to spend as much time with the other as possible. However, you made him swear he wouldn't get you up too early as you'd never been much of a morning person.

He'd woken you up rather nicely, shaking you a little, then pressing kisses all around your face. As sweet as that was, you were having none of it - you turned around and spoke, "piss off."

Luke was slightly taken aback, but figured you'd just had a bad sleep. He tried to latch onto your waist and wrap his arms around you but you just pushed him off and grabbed the duvet. If you couldn't sleep last night, you were going to make it up now and not let Luke distract you.

"You okay, angel? Did you not sleep okay?" His hand was on your head, trying to comfort you without annoying you.

As much as you liked talking to him, you'd wake yourself up and have no chance at sleeping again if you did. You tried to murmur something back - with was unintelligible to both you and Luke. Instead, you answered him again, "no, let me sleep."

Luke could tell you were not happy and needed this so he just carried on trying to comfort you. Nothing was working; you still couldn't sleep and had spent the last five minutes wriggling around trying to find a comfy position.

You felt Luke move away from behind you and figured he must've been bothered by the squirming around. Instead he gently flipped you around and placed your head on his chest.

As usual, he knew exactly what you needed and you felt a lot more comfortable, "you're so cute when you're irritable and sleepy."

You chose to ignore him, "you're so warm. How are you so warm? You were so cold earlier."

You felt him chuckle against you, pausing to wrap his arms more tightly around you. You moved your hands under his shirt, letting them rest on his stomach and steal his heat.

"Are you wearing my clothes? I swear you weren't wearing them when we went to bed." He moved his hands to your shoulders, gently massaging them, keeping you relaxed.

"You spent the whole night hogging the blankets and duvet, snoring in my ear, and pressing your frozen feet into me, I think this is the least you can do."

He kept one hand on your shoulders whilst letting the other one move up and down your back. "m'not complaining, you look very pretty in my clothes. And I'm sorry about that, angel, I didn't mean to, let me make it up now, yeah?"

You nodded, trying to relax yourself again, cuddling into him more and more. Luke hadn't once removed his eyes from you. He was looking down at you fondly the whole time, trying his best to make sure you're okay. He was grinning slightly at the sight of you - he was so grateful to wake up with someone like you and wanted you to spend every moment tucked in his arms.

"Will you sing to me, Lu? Anything you'd like."

He gripped you tighter, moving one of his hands to intertwine with yours. He pressed a kiss to it, then placed another on your head, pausing for a moment to remember it, "of course i will."

You were mostly asleep already, so when he began to sing something you didn't recognise, but had a feeling Luke wrote, you fell asleep almost instantly, His voice was so soothing you wanted to listen to it forever. No matter how hard you wanted to keep listening, you fell asleep, the last thing you remember being another kiss to your face, an, "I love you, sweetheart," and the end of the song.

…

feedback + constructive criticism welcomes, requests are open

[msmoony7]

hey!! can you please do a fic with calum hood, maybe enemies to lovers and reader is the bands photographer or something like that (it’s okay if you don’t want to🫶🏼🫶🏼)

Love your work!!

note: hope u like it! I haven't written for 5sos yet AND i’ve never written enemies to lovers so i hope it’s good and enemy-y angsty enough. also pretend the first stop was LA and that the tour was six weeks idk how long it actually was this is just what i imagined for my little fanon fic LMAO. I kinda left this on a cliffhanger. Maybe part 2 soon??

calum hood x reader

word count: 1.84k

You wake up to the sun peeking through the cracks in your bedroom curtains. Although the weather on this day is perfect, your mood was anything but, and you wake up feeling sour. Today, you are presented with the difficult task of joining the band 5 Seconds of Summer as their tour photographer. You’ve been photographing artists for years now and it has truly become your passion. Whether it’s following an artist on your, or taking album art, you are living your dream with every picture you take.  

That’s not where the difficulty lies. You know that you’re capable of doing your job and doing it well. The difficulty lies within the band. The name of that difficulty being the band’s bassist, Calum Hood. By now, you have a long history with the band. They first invited you to join them on the Take My Hand tour last year. You quickly became good friends with Luke, Ashton, and Michael. But for some reason, Calum just could not stand to be near you. Many days and nights were spent bickering between the two of you. Arguments would come up, about your creative direction and other bullshit he brought up, leaving you no choice to fight back, creating a lasting vendetta between the pair of you. 

Of course, he made your job difficult as well. When photographing him onstage, he would mess with you and your work. Sometimes getting up in front of the camera and in your face, sometimes not letting you take any photos of him at all. And once offstage, he wouldn’t even look in your direction. Wouldn’t even address you. Despite this, your work speaks for itself and you received a message from Luke inviting you to join them again on this year's tour, The 5sos Show.  

It’s been weeks since you got the tour invitation, and months since you’ve last seen the band. All the time in the world couldn’t prepare you for six weeks on the road with Calum Hood. What he had against you, you may never know. What you do know is that as long as he presents this dislike towards you, you will be doing the same right back at him. 

Was putting yourself through all this stress worth it? You ponder for a moment when you wake up, but ultimately decide you made the right choice. You are set to meet up with the band and crew this evening before you set out on the road together, marking the start of the long six weeks ahead. You put on some music and start packing your suitcase. 

After a while, you’re happy with everything in your suitcase and zip it up. Living out of a suitcase was difficult, but you’ve had prior experience so you know the do’s and don'ts of packing. You pack your backpack, carry on, and your camera supplies and before you know it, the day is behind you and it’s time to converge with the band. You call an uber to take you to the address Luke gave you and you’re on your way. 

Traffic isn’t too bad, so you make it to the address quicker than you would have liked. The crew is already there, but the band is nowhere to be seen. You help yourself onto the bus and begin putting your things in your designated area. You feel the bus shift as someone steps on. Before you can turn around, you can already tell who is walking up behind you. 

“Well, what do we have here?” you hear a sarcastic voice say behind you. You turn around and lock eyes with the bassist. He’s wearing grey sweatpants and a green 5sos sweatshirt. He looks adorable and cozy, and you hate him for being so gorgeous and so annoying all at the same time. 

“Not even the first day of the tour and we’re already fighting, are we?” you spit back at him. 

“Seems that way,” he replies before scurrying off to whatever hole he’s gonna bury himself in until he needs to be found again. 

The rest of the boys slowly scatter onto the bus, and your meetings with them go better than yours with Calum. Everyone picks out their bunks and once everyone is settled onto the bus, the driver begins driving to the first stop on the road and you allow yourself to fall asleep for the night. 

You wake up to the sound of fighting. It takes you a few seconds to shake off your grogginess before you hear two voices shouting back and forth at each other from the other end of the bus. 

“You can’t keep acting like this!” you can hear Luke yell. 

“Sure I can! I can't stand her being here and I’m not going to pretend I do.”

“Whatever, man. Do what you want, I give up. Just don’t come complaining when it comes to bite you in the ass.”

You can hear them shuffling around the bus as you stay hidden behind your curtain. Although your hatred for Calum was mutual, you couldn’t help but let a tear fall down your cheek as you lay in your bunk, thinking about everything you’ve had to endure from him in the past and will have to in the future on this tour. You are tired of feeling like this. Feeling beat down by him and his words, his actions. Now, you’re determined to get to the bottom of his hatred for you. You wipe away your tears, jump out of bed, and get ready for the day. 

Tonight is the first night of the tour at The Kia Forum in Los Angeles. You’re excited. After all, you do love your job. You decide that the best way to get through the tour is to ignore Calum and his antics. 

The day goes by quickly. The opening band is onstage and you’ve successfully avoided Calum the entire day. You grab all your camera equipment so you have it ready to go when the boys go onstage. 

Calum sneaks up behind you, bass in hand. “Where’ve you been, y/n? Haven’t seen you all day, it’s almost like you’re ignoring me. You wouldn’t do that though, would you?”

“For the love of god, fuck off. Get away from me.” You huff at him while grabbing your camera and walking towards the side stage. The lights go off and he shoots you a wink before walking onstage. You push all this out of your head and get in front of the stage and start taking photos of the boys. 

The night goes as well as you could have expected given your circumstances. You get some good photos of the boys. Calum was his usual self. This time around, he decided that whenever you got too close to him, he would turn around, making sure that you don’t get photos of his face or his instrument. Despite this, you do get some good photos of him. In all honesty, you think this is some of your best work. Calum looks really good. Even if you can’t see his face.

The boys all run offstage after the encore, high off of the energy from the gig. You shoot them a congratulations and you can see Calum heading in the opposite direction of you. Typical, you think. 

The next stop of the tour wasn’t for another two days, so the boys are having a party to celebrate the tour kicking off. You follow Luke, Ashton, and Michael and see that the party is already in motion. Calum’s already at the bar grabbing a drink and your body moves before you can think and all of the sudden, you’re sitting next to him. 

“What do you want,” he mutters sharply, not even looking up from his drink.

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Vodka cran,” he says to the bartender and nods at you. “I swear, whenever you get within ten feet of me I can feel my blood pressure rising,” he says in defeat as he gets up from his seat.

“Where’re you going? I thought we were finally getting along.”

“Back to the bus before I say something I’ll regret.”

And with that, he disappears out the door, leaving you confused as the bartender hands you your drink. 

“I don’t know what his issue is,” you confess to Luke once you find him later that night. An hour or two has passed since you last saw Calum and you’re feeling tipsy from the alcohol. 

“I wish I could tell you, y/n. I really wish I could. But we have no idea why he’s like this. We all love you and we love your work, I don’t know why he has it out for you.”

“Yeah, I don’t know. If I’m honest, I’m getting to my breaking point. I don’t think I can handle it anymore.”

“Want us to talk to him?” Luke says with concern written on his face. You can tell him and the other boys genuinely do care about you. It makes you feel good knowing that you have people to fall back on in this drama. 

“Thanks, but I think I’m actually gonna go speak to him now. I’m just tired of it and I need answers now.”

“Well, good luck. Let us know how it goes.”

You say bye to everyone at the party and you leave to find Calum and get some long awaited answers for yourself. The walk to the bus is not far and as you’re approaching, you see Calum sitting on a bench outside, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the sky. He hears your footsteps on the ground and groans when he realizes it’s you. 

“Following me now, are you?” 

“Oh shut up, will you?” you say as you steal the cigarette from his hand, taking a drag before handing it back to him. “You’re an ass, you do know that, right?”

“What do you think, y/n.”

“I wanna know why.”

“Why what?”

“What do you think, Calum? You’ve never liked me. I’ve done nothing wrong. I literally can’t do this anymore, I don’t know what to do!”

He sits and thinks for a minute, leaving the two of you in silence. You stare at him as he stares at the ground ahead of him, waiting for a response. A minute goes by, then two. No response. 

“Are you gonna answer me?” you yell. Still, no response. “Whatever, I’m done. Bye.” You say as you get up. You start walking in the direction of the tour bus when you feel him grab your arm and turn you around. Before you realize what’s going on, his lips crash into yours. At first, you don’t know what to do and you stand there frozen. He pulls away and just stares at you, and you stare right back. 

“That an answer enough for you?” he says to you. 

“Oh will you just shut up?” you say as you cusp his cheeks, pulling him towards you once more.

[completemessash]

You Need Care (l.h.) - Part 1

notes: first luke one, yayyy!

it's multichapter again but it didn't feel right to put the smut right into the same post as this - i'm so mentally unstable lmao, sad stuff is the most fun to write tho, love sad stuff🥰😂

WARNINGS: mentions of self harm, depression, self hate, it's sad stuff and angst, fluff and no smut yet

xxx

"Please hurt me"

Luke's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Please hurt me", you repeated, your eyes showing no signs that you might be joking.

Your boyfriend's eyebrows furrowed as he sat up straight on the couch.

"What?", he asked once more, "Y/N -"

"Please", you almost whispered. You felt so anxious, you just wanted to cry and you wanted to feel something.

"I would never-", he stood up, walking the few steps over to you, "I would never do that, Y/N"

Luke took your hands in his, squeezing them when he immediately noticed the way you avoided eye contact and your lower lip was quivering.

"Talk to me", he said quietly, "What's going on?"

You started chewing on your lip, staying quiet as you shrugged weakly.

But Luke was patient, he waited until you were ready to talk, and he listened when you finally whispered: "I don't feel good."

He squeezed your hands in encouragement to keep ypu talking.

"And just... I... you know, pain makes me forget about the emotional pain, so I thought we could..."

"Y/N", Luke's serious expression made you bite your quivering lip, "Are you trying to insinuate that we have a painful sexlife for you to use it like self harm?"

"It's - Luke, it's not a 'painful' sex life"

"I know, I worded that weirdly", he smiled for a split second, "but you didn't answer my question"

And you continued to stay quiet, which was his answer.

"Y/N", he whispered, pulling you closer so you were standing in between his legs. He looked up at you for another moment, eyes glassy, then he wrapped his arms tightly around your middle and pressed his face into your tummy.

You expected him to let go again but he didn't. He just kept hugging you tightly, not moving an inch, not saying a word.

"Luke?", your voice quivered still.

He just shook his head and pressed himself closer to you.

"I want you to know", he finally said, well, mumbled into your belly, "that I would never ever hurt you. And you shouldn't want to hurt yourself. I understand you want that but you need care, not pain."

"Don't make me cry", you warned, voice barely a whisper. You knew he was right but you had never been cared for the way you craved, and when you had asked for it you had been pushed away, not taken seriously.

But now Luke was here and he wanted to give you all you wanted. All you needed. But you had never had someone like him your whole life and it scared you. Made you want to push him away.

You told him this and he nodded along. He understood you, he had feelings like that, too, sometimes.

"M gonna take care of you, baby", he whispered, big blue eyes looking up at you, "M gonna love you, I love you"

You bit your lip harder, breaking it a little even, as you let yourself be pulled down into Luke's lap on the bed and then turned around and laid down.

Luke immediately crawled next to you, his curly head laid on your chest, his cheek pressed over your heart, arm draped safely over your stomach and one of his thighs inbetween yours.

You both laid on the soft sheets for a while, not saying anything as your tears silently fell. Luke knew what you needed, he knew exactly what you needed.

And he knew when you had calmed down, relaxed enough so he leaned on his elbows, bracing you under him and began pressing featherly soft kisses onto your collarbones, shoulders, chin and neck.

He kept mumbling small "I love you"s and "you're so gorgeous, my beautiful girl" into your skin.

You felt weak but that was okay. Your boyfriend was taking care of you like no one ever had before.

You didn't know how to handle it, but Luke assured you that that was okay. "Just relax, I'll do everything, just lay here, baby", he said quietly. His smile as he said that was so genuine.

[nicksbestie]

hii!! i was wondering if you could write a luke fic idea i had :))

sooo i have a tally tat and i was thinking about what it would be like if you took luke with you to get a tattoo but you won't tell him what it is until you're getting it done and it happens to be the tatty tattoo (kinda the same style as his but on the side of your hip) ORRR maybe you already have one and it's his reaction to seeing it for the first time. either way i just knowwwww he would lose it in the best way if he found out you had a piece of him become a piece of you

thank u bff!!

Tally Tattoo

word count : 1713

warnings : general tattoo stuff, discussion of needles

enjoy!

<3

Tattoos were a big piece of your life, loving to get important things inked onto you so that you could remember it forever.

The question of “you know that’s permanent, right?” or “what if you stop liking them or that thing and then it’s stuck on you forever?” never really bothered you, because you knew that if something was a big enough deal for you to get a tattoo of it, that you could always look back on it and remember just how much it meant to you at the time, fond memories would fill your mind. 

So, if there was something that meant enough to you, you would get it tattooed. You’d gotten music artists, movie characters, flowers, things related to concerts, and more. There was next to nothing that you wouldn’t get if you had a special enough connection to it, and that’s what led you to your current tattoo appointment, the one you were getting ready for now. Your boyfriend was part of a band, and you had been with him for multiple years. You’d been a fan before even getting lucky enough to meet him, and then to end up dating him was a dream come true for you. You’d always wanted their original band logo tattooed, and now that you were dating their lead singer, it felt like the perfect time to get it done.

So you had booked the appointment, told Luke you had the appointment, but conveniently kept what exactly you were getting a secret, dodging the question every time he asked. He had eventually dropped the subject, realizing that he wasn’t going to get it out of you, and accepting the fact that he was just going to have to wait and find out what it was when you finally had it done. You had told him he wasn’t allowed to go to the appointment with you, not wanting it to be spoiled by him peeking over your’s or the artist’s shoulder, and he had pouted about it before finally giving in and agreeing to stay home. 

The appointment wasn’t until around four in the afternoon, leaving you with a lot of time, and giving Luke a lot more time to try and figure out the design without making it obvious. However, he wasn’t very good at that, and you shut him down every single time until he fake-pouted and sulked on the couch for twenty minutes. He was lucky you loved him so much or his dramatics would be entirely ignored. You laughed for a few seconds before going to sit next to him, moving until his arm was around your shoulders, kissing away the obviously false pout. He broke into a high pitched laugh, turning on some random show to pass time before you two ordered delivery for lunch. Neither of you wanted to get up and make anything. 

As two in the afternoon rolled around, Luke had finally given up on begging you to tell him what it was, pretending that he didn’t care instead. He was the most dramatic partner you’d ever had, but it was all lighthearted and there was no cruelty behind it. He was truly fine with not knowing, he just loved to tease and see if you would break and tell him early. However, you stood strong and kept your secrets close to your chest. You were excited to see his reaction once it was done, and you know it would be much better and much more worth it if you waited until after. 

Just an hour later, you got something else to eat and drink, and were on the way to the shop. Michael had recommended it to you when you told him you were looking to get a new tattoo, but it was quite far away compared to some of the other shops. But, you trusted Michael’s judgment, and booked the appointment with the same artist that had done Michael’s bands and symbol on his right forearm. When you eventually got there, you were just a few minutes early, which was perfect so that you could go over what you wanted, make sure you had the placement you wanted, and get everything absolutely perfect and sanitized before you started the actual tattoo process. 

You decided you wanted it placed on your wrist, on just the outside edge of it. It wasn’t thick lines, thin ones that wouldn’t take very long to get done. It however did take a bit of time to get the stencil placed perfectly, because of where it was, it was kind of awkward to do. However, your artist was patient, and didn’t complain about adjusting it so many times. Obviously, you’re paying for their work, which would be permanently on your skin, so you shouldn’t have to deal with an artist being rude about it, but it was still nice that they were so patient. A lot of artists in the industry weren’t as kind, so you understood why Michael considered this shop and artist worth the drive. You hoped that you could say the same by the end of your trip here, and you were sure you’d be able to. 

The initial sting of the tattoo artist beginning their work sent you a few waves of shock, having been quite distracted on your phone, glancing at Luke’s texts asking how it was going. Getting used to the feeling, having gotten quite a few tattoos before, you sent a few replies before setting your phone down to watch the satisfying appearance of black ink dotting your skin. Only a line or two was done before Luke texted back, you instantly picking it up to see his message asking for a photo of the progress with that begging emoji that only he could send without it being cringy. You fought the urge to laugh and jostle your arm, texting back a “no, nice try, give it up.” Getting a tattoo wasn’t your favorite feeling in the world, it was needles sinking into your skin, of course, but it wasn’t as terrible as it could’ve been, especially with the small design only calling for a singular needle, instead of like Michael’s bands, being a thirty two point. 

Halfway through the design, your artist paused to check in on you. It was a tiny design compared to some, but she still took the time to make sure that you weren’t more affected than usual or needed anything. You took a small water break, not a long one, just enough to move your body a bit so your arms or legs didn’t fall asleep. The rest of the design went by in a flash, and you were ecstatic to get to see it. She took her time, gently cleaning it off, making sure that none of the soap or ink that wasn’t supposed to be there stayed on your skin, examining carefully to check that everything looked right and there were no immediate red flags, before letting you see it in the mirror. You loved it, and immediately told her so. The smile on her face as she was also proud of her work was worth everything. You held as still as possible, partially out of anxiety, as she wrapped it.

You couldn’t wait to see Luke’s reaction, but still patiently sat through the aftercare rules that you’d heard time and time again, making sure to thank the artist profusely before paying, and leaving a generous tip before you left the shop. You would definitely be coming back to this shop, it was absolutely worth the drive, and the artist you had worked with was one of the best you had ever gone to. You texted Michael informing him so, and he replied with nothing less than an “I told you so.” His ego was truly something to be studied in a lab one day. You headed home, knowing that when you got there you’d be unable to avoid Luke and would have to show him immediately, but you still attempted to stall him for as long as you could. It didn’t work, of course. He immediately demanded to see it, and if it had been lower on your wrist, he probably would’ve grabbed it in excitement, but he didn’t, knowing the area was probably still very sensitive. 

You laughed, knowing you couldn’t stall him any longer. With traffic, and since you left the shop, it had been closer to an hour and a half since you got it wrapped, so you removed it, very, very, carefully, before angling your wrist so that he could see it. You wished that you had a third hand to record his reaction, or that you had thought about recording it, because his face was absolutely priceless. There were not many things that made him speechless, but he was fish mouthing, seemingly unable to find anything coherent to say, and you couldn’t help but laugh at the stunned expression on his face. You stopped your laughter when you saw tears building on his lash line, ever the emotional one.

“Lu, are you crying?”

Your tone was lighthearted, no anger or meanness behind it, and he smiled and tried to wipe away any evidence of it. 

“I, we, mean that much to you?”

Avoiding the area that had just been tattooed, you immediately wrapped him in a hug.

“You knew I was a fan before you decided you wanted me as a partner, of course you do! Besides, now we match!”

It was his turn to laugh, hugging you back as he stared at the tally on the outside of his own wrist. 

“No wonder you didn’t let me see it beforehand.”

“That would have ruined the surprise. Don’t you agree that it was better to wait?” 

“Fine, but if I’d known I might not have reacted like this!” 

You still hadn’t let go of him, enjoying the hug. 

“I have no idea why you think that’s better, the whole purpose of waiting was to see this reaction!” Luke spent the next few days absolutely obsessed with the tattoo, always managing to somehow have his matching one pushed up against yours. You two now had matching tattoos, if in slightly different styles, he was certain you weren’t going anywhere now.

[orangeinecstasy]

cherry cola, pt. two ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟcalum hood

paring: calum hood x clifford sister reader (fem implication)

summary: it's once again time for the yearly clifford beach house stay, but things are different. working on their new album the rest of the guys join, hoping the change in scenery will spark some inspiration. will the work get done? or will a forbidden romance blossom?

an: hello beautiful people! i'm so sorry the second part too so long for me to get to you. i hope you enjoy!

cw: smoking, drinking, cursing, age gap, smut

wc: 877

taglist: @riya-kaur @percysaidnever

tuesday

“Y/N got help, Calum, with the dishes.” Your mom nods toward the kitchen as she cleans off the dining table. You hum a response, grabbing your plate before you make your way into the kitchen. 

“I’ve come to the rescue.” Calum chuckles at your words, glancing in your direction with a smile. “My savior” 

You smile, setting your dishes in the sink. “You can go ahead and start drying them, love.” you nod, taking a dish cloth and drying the clean culturally, the metal cool in your hands. 

You stand in silence for a moment. It’s not uncomfortable, but something indescribable builds in the air between you two. He can sense that you’re thinking about something. His hip nudges yours as his hands scrub pasta sauce off of a plate, his arms flexing as the veins in his hand become more propionate. “What are you thinking about? I can partly hear the wheels in your head turn.” 

It’s a simple question, but you can feel your skin heat up and your core throb as you press your legs together. 

I’m thinking of you. You bending me over the countertop as your wet hands kneed my skin. Calloused fingertips pushing past the hem of my panties with ease. The feeling of your five-o’clock shadow against my inner thigh. Fucking into me, hot and slow. 

You shake your head, shrugging, and bite back a smile, “Nothing.” 

The house is quiet as you move through it. Cold hardwood pressing to the balls of your feet, soon met with concrete as you walk outside. The moon cast a bright glow on your skin, filling you with calm and energy as you walked towards the pool. 

Tossing your towel onto one of the pool chairs, you strip the clothes from your body. Nipples pebble, goosebumps spreading along your skin as you step into the water. You hummed, letting the warm water consume you as you lazily swam through it. 

You heard the deck door open and shut up with a loud click. You quickly swam to the pool’s edge, trying to hide your bare body as you blinked the water from your eyes, the figure still blurry in the distance. 

“What are you doing out here? It’s one in the morning.” Cal’s voice settles familiar in your ears, causing a wave of embarrassment mixed with euphoria down your spine. 

“Just a late night swim,” You rest your chin against the edge of the pool, concert rough against the skin. 

He cocks his brow, sitting on the edge of one of the pool chairs. “You always were a weirdo.” He shakes his head, tapping his pack of cigarettes against his thigh before pulling one out and placing it between his lips. “But you love me.” You smile, pushing yourself off the edge of the pool. 

“Could you throw me the towel?” He tosses it to you before cupping his hand to cover the cig as he lights it, the small flame casting a warm glow onto his skin. 

You say a small thank you, grabbing the towel as you make your way to the steps of the pool, wrapping it around you as you make your way out of the water. You wrap the towel tighter around your bare body, fully realizing the situation that you’re in. Naked. In front of the guy, you’ve been in love with your whole life. 

He takes a long drag off his cigarette, dark eyes landing on yours. You clear your throat, skin prickling with heat under his gaze. “Can I have one?” 

“You?” he chuckles, smoke slipping between his lips. “Have you ever even smoked before?” 

You shift in your seat, the cold plastic sticking slightly to your wet thighs. “No, but what does that matter? God, stop acting like my brother.” You shove his arm gently, biting back a smile.

He laughs gently. “Sorry, sorry.” taking another drag. “Why don’t you shotgun it first?”

“Okay.” your words are quite as Calum moves next to you, warmth radiating off his body as he takes another long pull off the cig, letting it settle in his chest for a moment before he cups your face. Calloused hands on your skin, making your hair stand on edge. Your lips part as smoke slips past Calum’s, the queue for you to slowly inhale. 

The warmth of his body, mixed with the unfamiliar menthol feeling, makes you feel light-headed. Your arms wrap around Calum’s neck, closing the gap between your bodies. “Y/N..” he breathes out before you connect your lips. It’s soft and hesitant until he slowly melts into you. Strong arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you even closer. 

He tastes like smoke and mint, consuming all your senses as your hand slips up his shirt. He quickly pulls away, breath hitched and lips slightly plump from friction. “Y/N, I, we… We can’t do this. I’m sorry.” 

He stands quickly, shaky hands stubbing out the cig. His mouth opens, trying to find the right thing to say, but nothing comes out. He briefly looks at you, eyes dark, before walking back into the house. 

The familiar click of the deck door settled the reality of it all. You’re an idiot, and he doesn’t feel the same. 

[bartxnhood]

you don’t go to parties | a.f.i

ashton irwin x fem!reader

summary: ashton wonders why he keeps searching for you at parties. because after all, you don’t go to parties anymore.

warnings: drinking, swearing, just the party scene

w/c: 2.4k

requests open

not proofread

Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.

✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵

“hey, it’s y/n. sorry, i missed your call. leave a message after the beep. bye!”

“hey, uh, it’s me, just been thinking about everything tonight and i don’t know… i just miss you so much. call me when you can. bye.”

ashton removes the phone from his ear and ends the call, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh as he stares at your contact photo.

you were standing on the harbour bridge with him, kissing his cheek. it was taken on his first tour, when the band was opening for one direction, and he had just asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you of course said yes. he was your best friend and the person you had fallen in love with years before.

you've been by his side since the beginning of the band till today. you helped him throughout his most difficult times, and he did the same for you. at one point you considered him your soulmate and imagined spending the rest of your life by his side.

that was, until the parties.

it wasn't horrible at first. you'd join him at a few parties here and there. it was fun at first but then things got out of hand. ashton would party practically every night, and the parties eventually moved to his house, where you also lived. and it was well into the morning before the nights ended. so, you'd just hide out in your bedroom or at a friend's house.

it was exhausting. you could never get anything done because your house was always filled with strangers. and you couldn’t talk to ashton about it because he was always hungover and told you he’d talk to you later.

eventually, it got to the point where you just couldn’t take it anymore. so, you left him.

ashton was a disaster. every night, he'd be out partying or at a bar, hoping to drown out the haunting thoughts of you.

his partying addiction had gotten worse since you left. he couldn't even remember what he done the previous week since he had been partying so hard that it was killing him.

sometimes he’d call you when he was blackout drunk, professing undying love for you and how he regrets everything. other nights, when he isn’t so drunk, he’d still call you and apologize for the drunk calls.

he was spiraling down a deep dark alley, and if he didn’t fix himself now, he’d never see the light again.

ashton didn’t know why he continued to party and drink so much. but, he continued without thinking about the consequences. even if he knew how bad he was while under the influence.

some nights were worse than others.

one night it got very out of hand.

it was nearing five in the morning and ashton had one too many like he usually does but tonight was different. he was angry. angry at himself for letting you slip from his hands, angry he treated you like gum on the bottom of his shoe when instead of the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

ashton sat on his sofa staring at the wall with a red solo cup in hand, occasionally looking towards the door hoping you’d walk through and come back to him. but of course, you never did, and you wouldn’t because you don’t go to parties anymore.

luke sat with his head hung, rubbing his temples. “ashton, you’ve had too much. cmon man. just go to bed and we will clean up. it’s almost five a.m”

but ashton doesn’t say anything, he just sits there and down the rest of the liquid in his cup before tossing it to the floor

“yeah, no wonder y/n left you.” ashton hears michael say under his breath which was just enough to send ashton over the edge.

now it was getting out of hand, ashton was screaming his lungs out at michael while he just stood there with his hands up, signaling he didn’t want to fight ashton.

finally luke called the one person he knew who would help. you.

“hey, y/n, i’m sorry it’s so late…well early but ash is drunk, very drunk. can you come get him? he’s causing a scene.”

"what? oh, christ. yeah, I'll be there in ten," you said as you jumped out of bed, grabbed the nearest sweater and sweatpants, and ran out of your apartment.

your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. the drive was a blur, trying to get there as quickly as possible in order to avoid another fight.

you knew most people would never do this for their ex, but you still loved him. you were still madly in love with him at the time. you listen to every message he's ever left on your phone.

your inbox was overflowing with them.

you heard every sincere confession, every drunken apology, and every sober apology.

of course, you still had feelings for him.

you never stopped.

“thank you for coming.” luke swung the door open letting you slip inside, then walked through the trashed house. “he’s in the living room” you looked through the kitchen archway to see where luke was pointing, and then you saw him.

you pushed the door open and walked across smashed cans and cups to his side. "ashton?" your voice was soft, as if you were unsure how he would react to your sudden appearance. maybe he'll lash out at you, or he'll remain mute and go away.

he raised his head, his gaze meeting yours. ashton comes to a halt from whatever nonsense he was doing, which was probably another drunken rage. was this really happening? he asks, as he stares at you in bewilderment. are you standing directly in front of him? was he dreaming?

"y/n?" he calls your name, and you question, "ash, what's going on?" and his eyes glaze over merely hearing your concern.he only blinks in response, trying to figure out the situation.

he can't believe you're at his party after swearing them off, and it's for HIM. not anywhere else but his house. he says "y/n" a few times before wrapping his arms around your stomach and tightening his grip. he couldn't let you go away again.

you just let it happen and hug him back as he sits on the sofa, saying, "hey, I'm here, it'll be okay" and attempting to calm him down. despite your best attempts, he pulls away, taking everything in.

you noticed luke about to say something, so you put your hand out to stop him, silently shaking your head.

you knew ashton was in pain, so you took him upstairs. "hey why don't we get you upstairs and into bed?" you gently held his arm, which calmed him down. he allowed you to take him upstairs and away from the party. you pull over to chat to one of the boys on the way, saying that you're going to take him to bed.

"I appreciate you calling. I'll get him settled and then return to assist you with the cleanup." you say to luke before leaving.

you help him upstairs, doing your best to keep him upright. as you led ashton to the bed, he was babbling incomprehensible words. and after completing your normal cleaning and care for him, you took a step back. anxiety and confusion consume your body. thank goodness, his luke called you.

You've read the articles about his constant parties and the drunken scenes he created. he was a mess. but it was how he was dealing with the break up. you, on the other hand, have stayed home every night, watching sad movies, weeping yourself to sleep most nights, losing your appetite, and creating excuses not to see sierra or crystal. Isolation was your only option for coping.

you begin to rub the bridge of your nose as you stand by the side of the bed, looking down at ashton, who was in and out of consciousness. your heart was beating, and you were at a loss for what to do. when ashton opens his eyes and sees this, he becomes upset once more. he’s sorry you had to go to another party for him, and he rubs his eyes before saying, "you shouldn't have come." "y’hate parties." "i had to," you say, dropping your hands. "i was worried." he could see it in your eyes that you were sincere. "you're scaring me, ash" you took a pause to attempt to calm yourself as tears began to pool in your eyes.

you try to get him to bed without confessing anything or saying anything you don't genuinely mean, knowing he's incredibly inebriated and emotional. "scaring you?" he took a deep breath as he watched you toss his shoes to the floor. "yes. you’re killing yourself. i’m not going to sit by and let you do that." maybe you were getting a little emotional right now, so you looked away to gather your thoughts and finish getting him ready for bed. if he chooses to sleep.

you left the room once he was settled for a bottle of water. he probably won't know you're gone. only luke and calum remained, clearing up the garbage from the party. they all glanced up at you, waiting for news, but you just shook your head and said nothing.

you returned, half-opening the bottle and placing it next to the bed. ashton is staring at you in awe. "you're always the one taking care of me and i never deserved it," he says. “you deserved so much better than me." you didn't let the fact that he was incredibly intoxicated and emotional get to you.

you lower your head, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. don’t let him hurt you like this, y/n. you kept thinking to yourself, he was intoxicated and didn't mean anything. you get up to leave, eager to go home and cry into your pillow about how much he misses you. he reached for your hand, carefully gripping it, and said, "stay with me." you freeze, tilt your head, and appear torn, so he adds "please? just tonight." while staring into your eyes, desperate.

so, you stayed. laying on the opposite side of ashton, you heard his breath steady assuming he was finally going to sleep. until you heard “i love you.” you had only hoped that if you were still he’d leave it alone and would just go to sleep. but he continued. “when i left that morning, i didn’t stop. i never did. you’re my whole world, and i hate the person i’ve become. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but i screwed it up.” your heart was racing, picking at your nails you felt him shuffle next to you. “you were the best thing i’ve ever had and i let you go. ‘m sorry. you can hate me. i understand.” you waited a bit, but that was the last thing he said for the night.

you ended up leaving before he woke up because it was now daylight and you didn't want to be there when he did. you stood above him before leaving, and he looked so calm. naturally, you bowed down and kissed his brow softly before exiting the room. so, you were gone by eight a.m. you had a minor breakdown on the drive home, knowing that the love is still there, and seeing him so vulnerable makes your heart ache. but you kept reminding yourself that he was drunk. he most likely didn't mean half of what he stated.

right?

you had just finished your meeting the next day and were standing in your kitchen preparing a cup of coffee when you were stopped by a rhythmic knock. you walked over leaving the cup on your counter. as you answered the door, you saw ashton.

“hey.” he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket. you stepped back, then saying “why are you here?” ashton looked around, spitting a few framed pictures of the two of you which he thought was odd. he thought you hated him. he shrugged, “i just wanted to thank you for last night, and everything.” you sighed, “come in” you stepped to the side and let him enter, then closed the door behind him. “do you want some coffee?” he sat down on the sofa.

“sure.” he answered, looking around the room. you came back with a black mug and handed it to him, and took your seat across from him.

there was a moment of silence, the two of you would steal glances at each other but didn’t want to say anything, wondering how to approach the conversation waiting to be held.

his comment was abrupt. “i meant what i said, you know.” you looked up from your coffee, to meet with his eyes already looking at you. “what?” you blinked, placing the mug on the table. “last night. everything, i meant it. from me still loving you, to wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. i meant every word.” he was being sincere, he held eye contact as he spoke and didn’t break it once.

truthfully, you didn’t know what to say. the situation wasn’t ideal, and to be honest with yourself, you knew you still loved him. “ashton..” you finally spoke, followed by a long sigh and dropping your head into your hands.

“then why do you continue to do this? you’re drinking yourself to death, ash. how can i trust that you won’t do it all over again, even if i want to work this out?” ashton stands up from his spot and moves in front of you, on his knees as he holds your hands. "i get drunk to forget the color of your eyes and the way your hair falls and how soft your skin is and the way your smile makes me feel; but it seems like the alcohol can't change my memory of you." he had been waiting to tell you this for the longest, “i do it because it’s the only way i know how to cope and i know it isn’t the best way, but it’s all i know.”

ashton runs his thumb over your knuckles. you look down at his calloused hands feeling your lip quiver “and if that isn’t enough just tell me, and i’ll leave for good.”

you shake your head letting the tears fall, “ash..i just want you to stop..all this drinking isn’t good for you, i can’t just let that happen.” you say, and he nods. “i know, i know.” he hushes your tears, raising up to hug you. “i’ll do better, i promise.” he says into your hair while wiping your tears.

“how can i trust you?” you ask

“because, i love you. and i’ll be damned if i lose you again.”