#Yea Americans are their own breed of human I feel like sometimes

[alexbkrieger13]

Being from a country that has all of this produce, fresh and with good/excellent quality I feel yet again shock Americans

https://x.com/reignfc/status/1801682646617231758?t=uRqOnfjj5RUcQaECFwZE5Q&s=19

[momtemplative]

Saturday Afternoon, MACRO and MICRO

Definition of Macro: large-scale; overall. ie., THE FOREST.

Definition of Micro:  extremely small. ie., THE TREES. Definition of Macro, here: The wild world at large.

Definition of Micro, here:  The tiny home we inhabit, where we “shelter in place.”

MICRO—I sit here in our tiny RV that is parked in the driveway. It’s where I “go to write”, a creative parlor with wheels and a view of our magnificent choke cherry out the window that is just starting to think about blooming. (I don’t blame it for being hesitant.) 

Months back, Opal and her friend pretended this RV was a rescue vehicle for dogs—all dogs but mostly pit bulls, a breed Opal feels is highly misrepresented. From where I sit, in the passenger seat swiveled to face the rear, there are four black-and-white photocopies of gorgeous dog portraits staring at me. One pit bull in particular looks straight through me.

I’ve purposefully resisted straight-up news, aside from my nightly installment of “Good News Network” and NPR’s weekly “Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me” radio quiz show. But living without allowing for the outside to seep in feels unhealthy in its own right. Selectively permeable would be the proper thing to practice now. 

So I crack open my computer and dip my toes in the NY Times live coverage of the Coronavirus.

I can hear Jesse’s future voice in my head: How was writing?

Me: Good, but I’m feeling a tad suicidal now.

Him: Why?

Me: I read the news.

Him: Now why would you go and do that??

MACRO—“With President Trump having undercut the new guidance of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention by immediately declaring that he would not wear a mask himself, it was far from clear how many Americans would ultimately embrace the recommendation.”

MICRO— I return from the RV to find a house party of three people in my living room. Thankfully, my family did not get the memo that in this moment, life on the outside is complex and backwards. Ruth is on Jesse’s shoulders, no pants, shit-eating grin and fresh-cut bangs in her eyes. She shakes like a puppy with over-large ears and Opal twirls in her No ProbLLama nightgown to the Imagine Dragons song, Zero. Inside our little bubble, things are bumping! The sun floods the living room and even the anti-social cat seems obliged to hang out—from an appropriate distance.

MACRO—Governor Andrew Cuomo warns that, as infections passed 113,700 and deaths 3,500, New York State would reach the worst point of the coronavirus crisis within a week or so. He also said the state was using the machines for coronavirus patients at a rate that would exhaust its stockpile in just six days.

MICRO—Three boxes are stacked one atop the other in front of our door like a cairn. One box is for Jesse’s birthday next weekend, the others are for Ruth. 

It’s looking like COVID-19 will spit us out the other end proficient in at least one new talent—Opal’s is roller skating. She insisted on using my skates, which she found while foraging for activities in the garage like a squirrel for food. After a few days of wearing those up and down the down-stairs hallway, and back and forth on the sidewalk out front, I was certain the future for her ankles was bleak and we ordered her a pair on Amazon that were her size.

Ruth observed all this unfolding and with no intention of leaving empty-handed. Unfortunately, toddler-sized skates are much harder to come by. So, many weeks into the future, Ruthy finally got her own skates that go over her shoes and are, frankly, awesome. She also picked out the tackiest Olaf helmet—with a carrot-nose that actually protrudes—after instructing me to “search on Amazon for Olaf now please.” 

Each of those treasured items are contained in the boxes on our porch. I jump into our current porch-sanitizing routine (bleach wipes and spray lined up on the porch without apology)—wipe box, open, wipe down package inside, wash hands thoroughly. 

You can practically hear Ruth buzzing as suits up for a jolly, though quick to be exhausting, skate around the block. Her uniform killed, and would have worked as well for Halloween, Burning Man, a rave and a roller derby—mixed patterns for shirt and pants, knee pads and skates from Trolls, Olaf helmet. When she velcroes her final skate, I hear a faint, prayer-like utterance from Jesse: dear god. She is an eye-full that could save a life.

MACRO—Trump is getting help with the November election. His campaign just rolled out a new ad, titled “Hope,” featuring appreciative quotes from Gov. Cuomo and Gov. Newsom of California. With the lives of their constituents at stake, they’ve given him the made-for-TV sound bites he was never able to extract from Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelensky.

MICRO— Thank god for these kids. If I were being force-fed the news then led to an empty house with, maybe, a roommate-peer who is also stressed and bloated with sad information, or if perhaps I were old and alone, I’d be struggling in an entirely different way. Sure, I have my moments of fantasizing about what it would have been like if COVID and shelter-in-place came at a time before or children, during a time when I could have relished cleaning and reading and making a weeks-long retreat out of an unsavory situation. But the fact is, these kids keep the scales level.

Not to mention the fact that affection is built-in. Even though Ruth is less interested in snuggling than she is in building block-towers or submerging every toy she owns in water, we seem to be touching constantly, in this or that way. Hugs from Opal and Jesse, snuggling on the couch for a show, holding hands on our walks around the block—it’s all-inclusive. The fact that this is not the case for everyone is something I am well aware of.

MACRO—Jared Kushner has embedded his own people in the Federal Emergency Management Agency; a senior official described them to The Times as “a ‘frat party’ that descended from a U.F.O. and invaded the federal government.” As The Washington Post reported, Kushner’s team added “another layer of confusion and conflicting signals within the White House’s disjointed response to the crisis.”

Kushner, you can’t shatter us.  Young girls in roller skates win every goddam time.

MICRO— Our block continues to be paradise. Any interest we had six months ago in selling this house has been waylaid and, thus, we are appreciating our home base in a truly different way. 

As we make our way down the block with two girls on their respective wheels, we holler at our beloved across-the-street neighbors, friends of 14 years. They sit, mysteriously, at a card table in their front yard, as if they are having an invisible garage sale. We exchange a boisterous, level-12-volume conversation from across the street, talking over each other and at the same time, expressing everything we possibly can in the tiny window we have while the girls scoot away on their skates. 

The corner that turns on to the bike path and is covered with ancient ponderosa pines smells musty and earthy and perfect. Like every camping trip ever taken. Every hike through the woods. A momentary dose of equilibrium.

When we circle back, our neighbors are still outside.  

One of them asks, “Hey, have you guys been wearing masks outside?”

“No, Governor Polis just suggests it for any public place—grocery, whatever.”

“We saw a few people driving by with them on.”

“Yea, so did we, we saw a few people out walking with them on, just outside.”

I guess the point is, if it’s not gonna hurt, you might as well do it. Hell, if we are in this far—as is shelter-in-place—then we might as well take it all the way. To pick up the slack for people who aren’t doing what they should be doing. (We are actually yelling all this in conversation across the street.) The idea that some people would still not be doing what they are supposed to be doing is ludicrous.  I’ve vented my rage at the college students of America over St. Patty’s Day, but they are all home by now, are they not? So who are we talking about here?

Fact is, as I just learned today, there are still five states that are not mandatory shelter-in-place. (I’m sorry, what??)

MACRO—“I can’t lock the state down,” said Gov. Kim Reynolds of Iowa, which has recorded more than 600 confirmed cases and at least 11 deaths. “People also have to be responsible for themselves.”

MICRO— Opal has been loving her evening ritual of putting Ruth to bed. She says it’s one of her most ‘special times of the day,’ though it happens only a few times a week. She takes her little sister down by the hand, gets her jammies on and teeth brushed, reads to her, the whole precious nine yards. She does that tonight, leaving Jesse and I to the quiet of ourselves and our space-sans-kids in the family room. 

Jesse promptly dozes off in the rocking chair. I lie on the floor with eyes closed in star-pose, taking up some glorious space. These days are taking a toll. But it’s also true that I laughed so hard on four different occasions this afternoon that I buckled over twice, slapped a knee and wet myself. 

So much is going well in our tiny Microcosm that sometimes it’s easy to forget the Big Picture Macro. Ignorance is indeed not far from a certain cheap kind of bliss. It makes sense why people do it, why people feel the need to avoid discomfort. But, ultimately, the mind knows when it is missing something. The soul knows when it is being cut-off. Our beings can feel when humanity is suffering, whether or not we choose to admit it to ourselves in so many words.

“Mom!�� Opal whisper-yells from down the hall. “Ready!” Meaning, she’s ready for me to come and finish Ruth’s bedtime with a song. But by the time I get to Ruth’s snug and utterly safe kid-room, she is fast asleep.

4/4/20

(all quotes in italics come from the NY Times live coverage of the coronavirus from the previous week.) 

[imeugene]

I think it’s crazy how the culture of a certain time shapes who we are and how perceive the world and interact with it. Like culture itself is a bizarre notion, one of those things where if you stop really think about it gets more bizarre as your dissect it. A group of people who hold similar customs and beliefs, act upon those thoughts and create some sort of social unity to strengthen one another’s bonds. People are naturally social creatures so it’s probably a byproduct of all that. You’d think something like that would be a constant and unchanging but it’s proving to be not. Even though what we need now is no different than what the first homo sapiens and what everyone in the world needs, how we develop to face those changes in our world seems like how a lot culture develops.

This piece from 20 years ago has the same type of disenfranchised youth that populate a lot of BMX today but how they perceive with their world is different as night and day. Back then the youth of BMX was populated by kids who listened to a lot of punk music. The particular flavor would be hardcore and post hardcore. Music dominated by angry kids who were fed up with the problems created by the generations before. Even though we’d like to think times prior to us as easier times, there was a very dark cloud that loomed above kids of that generation. The threat of nuclear annihilation. It was something very real. That no matter what we as civilization accomplished seemed so meaningless when all of it could be destroyed within a day. The youth rejected the idea of being part of what they perceived as a hypocritical sick system where taking the world hostage was an acceptable foreign policy. The idea that since the that they were part of a country that created a situation that seems like a plan out of a evil mastermind’s handbook. This planted the seeds of doubt in the system. Soon everything else they learned was up for reevaluation. They wanted determined for themselves their own values instead of the common thoughts of the time. It created a nihilistic attitude that dominated a lot of the youth culture of the time. I think a lot of people believe nihilism is having a dismal outlook on life cause it is meaningless but in the original concept it wasn’t necessarily supposed to be viewed as just that. It was an opportunity to create new meaning in the world where the old ones seem to have failed.

Joe Rich and a lot of riders, musicians, and cultural taste makers understood this. Here he talks a lot about riding for himself and not some big company when the American Dream would be make yourself as useful as you can be to the system and acquire money as reward. I think something like this would be easier to relate to back then. Financial inequality was less, people were forced to view the world as simpler as most people were only aware of what was happening directly around them. Remember the internet was in it’s early stages wasn’t quite the dominating aspect of a civilization at the time. People weren’t bombarded with images and videos of pockets of people who have that much more. It was ok to just have enough. The idea of more social and financial capita wasn’t mainstream belief. To rebel against having more was just rebelling against the corporations and government and to larger extent the values of the generations before who they held responsible. Even something like Joe Rich’s opinion on contests are an extension of that. Reinterpreting what it means to win and lose in the post modern world vs what traditionally were. The times were a breeding ground for this kind of newer thought to spread. There was less expectation to have so much new things and those things you did get costed less and went further. Jobs paid more proportionally. Robert who is general manager somewhere down the street who is the richest guy in the town where everything you know exists, is only richer cause he has a bigger truck. That kind of difference most people can shrug off and the kids of the time certainly did. It was ripe for new ideas cause the standard of living were met fairly easily.

Today’s world is much different though. The standard we place on ourselves are much higher. Sure the thought of nuclear annihilation really doesn’t exist but we’ve replaced it with the feelings of not being enough. We’re bombarded with images of people with more constantly. Our social circles have grown exponentially to a near impossibilty. We can peer into glimpses of other  people’s lives realize now that Robert who you thought was the richest in the town actually has a cousin who lives in the other side of town has a sport car and lives the life or at least seems to. Not only him but he has a whole group of 200 friends who do the same. someone of someone is always few button clicks away from living the life we wished. We mask those insecurity and any type of deficiency we feel about ourselves cause who we our online persona’s are put out 24/7. We’re judged even before we open our mouthes. We don’t really know how to handle to hyper social world of today. We’re the first generation to really undertake it. We unnecessarily placed a lot in the importance on the internet, something that was mocked in the early days but now it accepted to be serious cause it became serious. We all created our own persona as easy as we did our homepage. Probably why people seem to value real these days and equate it with the old. Where being honest can’t be twisted into some type of social weapon against one another in today’s loud culture of blaming. Today’s society is increasingly becoming the avatar we created for ourselves. All this would be laughable in Joe Rich’s time but quite obviously is accepted today. Joe Rich and them still lingered the values of the world created before them but as time goes by and this post modern world stays those values eroded. It’s ok to sell out. It’s ok to promote yourself. It’s ok to do anything really to get ahead. Life is meaningless and ultimately everything is about the now and me. The T1 motto of “GOD BLE$$ THIS ME$$” is becoming increasingly prophetic. 

I don’t believe in revolution as a outcome to anything really. Not even in just a raise the pitchforks type of way but any type of drastic change. I don’t think people at large are capable of accepting change in such a quick basis. Sure how we dress our pants or the type of bike we ride can change very quickly but who we are how we think is much more different. I think this is the cause of a lot of problems today. That change is expected to occur immediately and anything short of that is a human rights abuse. In most instances of drastic change in history the host civilization has always had a hard time adjusting. Either the change is forgotten or mended or the people have a bit social unrest for a while which is truly more problematic. Change is natural and the most normal thing. People sometimes equate never changing to being real and I think those people are idiots. Adaptation is change and to survive in the world that is also changing we have to change too. If you never change, you never really grew. Which is understandable cause those people who equate never changing to being real are all a bunch of whiny babies. The internet changed everything and for the first time it’s instant, I think it’ll be interesting in long term how we adapt to it. Just cause we adapt doesn’t mean it’ll  makes us stronger or smarter I should also mention, just means there is a large presence and we came to terms with it somehow. If that means everyone turns slowly autistic than that is what it is. Which is also a theory that floats around.

But yea Joe Rich’s time was something else and watching this was a glimpse into it. 1999 seems like yesterday for me but seeing this put it into scope of how different then was. The vignette on the fisheye and the simple clothes of a guy in dreads. The most anything like this can ever hope for is to inspire a few people of the coming generation to understand the wisdom of the time and to use it help create something new for the coming world. The progress what was already learned and make sure it’s not forgotten. 

Props - Issue 34 (1999)

Edited by Chris Rye & Stew Johnson

[dollhandinfection]

questions 1-65 (;

OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME ALL THE ASKS AHH ^-^

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?: I mean more than likely we’re all just in a simulation so… reality is tho I definitely doubt my own existence before I doubt anyone else’s 

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?: I’m not afraid of the dark, I am afraid of what lies in the dark. 5

3. The person you would never want to meet?: Donald Trump

4. What is your favorite word?: serendipity 

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?: Willow tree for sure 

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?: holy fuck I did not sleep 

7. What shirt are you wearing?: it’s a crop top that says “I

8. What do you label yourself as?: a human being I guess?

9. Bright room or dark room?: dark room 

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?: umm I think I was being emo and making tik tok videos lol 

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?: 21 

12. Who told you they loved you last?: my mom 

13. Your worst enemy?: myself, I tend to ruin everything 

14. What is your current desktop picture?: it’s a professional Halloween picture of my ratties Piglet and Igor 

15. Do you like someone?: ha yea 

16. The last song you listened to?: right now I’m listening to Skyscrapers by Lil Peep

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?: I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I was the cause of someone’s death, no matter who they are

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?: Erin if she were a boy 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?: Davey Havok and I would make him explain in length every intentional meaning of every song he has ever written 

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional): uh I have weirdly almost identical thumbs, besides that my tattoos are pretty tight 

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?: been there done that ain’t goin back homie 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?: I can say the alphabet backwards really fast 

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?: stairs. well like I guess I’m not afraid of them, I just have to walk really really slow up and down them and I have to stare at my feet the entire time or else I will fall

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal: oh fuck, portobello mushroom burgers are pretty fuckin tight 

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?: I’m spending it on weed bro 

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?: New Zealand, tho it would be scary as shit to go to another country by myself lol 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?: uhhhhh svedka vodka isn’t bad I guess? like I usually don’t throw up when I drink that lol. but honestly I love pineapple flavored alcohol, it tastes like candy 

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?: no heteros 

29. What is your favorite expletive?: bitch 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?: Uni my stuffed unicorn that I’ve had since I was 6 

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?: oh god just one? if I could take back ever meeting Valencia that’d be nice I guess 

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!: New Zealand or Ireland yo 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?: Jessica of course, she deserved the chance to grow up 

34. What was your last dream about?: I was on a bus with my cousin and a big white dog. oh also @dirt-goth was there 

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?: I’m a good listener 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?: yea I had to go to the hospital a couple months ago because of an accidental overdose, and then I had to go right back because I got pneumonia 

37. Have you ever built a snowman?: I have no memory of doing so, but I have been in a snowball fight before 

38. What is the color of your socks?: I ain’t got no socks on, free the toes 

39. What type of music do you like?: I like a variety of music, if it slaps it slaps 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?: sunrises. there’s just something about how quiet everything starts out, how still everything is, and then it’s alive again

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?: strawberry for sure 

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer): I only know of the Chiefs lmao 

43. Do you have any scars?: yeeeep 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?: I didn’t graduate, but I think it would be cool to be a photographer or a professional piercer 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: I want a dick yo 

46. Are you reliable?: I would say so yes 

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?: will anyone ever actually fall in love with me?

48. Do you hold grudges?: I try not to, I mean I definitely am bitter about some things. But I’ve really been trying hard to better myself this year, and I think a big part of that is letting shit go yaknow 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?: I ain’t fuckin with nature bro 

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?: I have had, so many. I guess the last weird convo I had was with my friend Katie when I told her that if she ever needed someone to take high quality feet pics of her so she could sell them that I got her lmao 

51. Are you a good liar?: I’m a good actor, but liar I think not. At least not anymore, through the years of lying every single day, I just gave up. Because even if people know how much pain you are in, they still really don’t care so what’s the point in lying

52. How long could you go without talking?: a long ass fuckin time. I haven’t said anything out loud today or messaged anyone yet

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?: the fucking Beatles bob jesus christ

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?: hell no I burnt fuckin pizza rolls once

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?: not for long really, I do a weird Russian accent when I’m trying to be funny?

56. What do you like on your toast?: I love peanut butter

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?: uh, me gettin fucked by this one dude in a car lmaoo

58. What would be you dream car?: hippie van or cool ass school bus 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain: I don’t sing in the shower, I used to when I was a kid but not anymore. I just have my speaker playing music. Sometimes I will turn the shower on and sit down like I’m sitting in the rain

60. Do you believe in aliens?: it would be incredibly ignorant not to tbh 

61. Do you often read your horoscope?: sometimes, it tends to be relevant when I do 

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?: D

64. What do you think about babies?: I love all my siblings, and like other people’s babies are cute and stuff. When they get past that weird old man potato lookin phase of course. But there ain’t no way in fuck I’m ever having a baby. I’m adopting a kid, I don’t ever want to walk in on my baby one day covered in shit smearing the walls ya feel (babies do this more often than you would think)

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of: hmmm, how long have you been sober for? I’ve been sober from coke since Halloween of 2018 and from Xanax since December 2nd of 2018