#YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKING WELCOME

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ahem. dear Sally,

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

Katsuki’s return is imminent, we all know this.

But do we all remember one of the last things ShigAFO said to him before he went down for the count?

Chapter 360

This line was officially translated for the English release with Katsuki being called “Izuku Midoriya’s hanger-on—a minnow in One For All’s wake,” but notice the bit highlighted in orange? That says 金魚の糞 (kingyo no fun), meaning goldfish poop. It is a pretty, uh, visual idiom that “hanger-on” and “minnow” are both trying to capture.

But here’s the thing, someone else has said something like this to him before.

Chapter 164

Gang Orca calls all the remedial course kids ダボハゼの糞 (dabohaze no fun), meaning goby poop.

Do you remember how Katsuki responded back then?

Listen to me

Look into my eyes

I want that boy to pop back up on the battlefield, covered in blood, after more than forty chapters and a whole year of real-world anticipation, so he can dramatically show up at Izuku’s side just in the nick of time,

and I want him to look ShigAFO straight in the face and say,

[leupagus]

I firmly believe Stannis is the Westerosi equivalent of the dad who hates cats, doesn't want to get a cat, makes a big deal about not liking the cat, and ends up being the cat's absolute favorite (except instead of a cat it's a huge fuckoff direwolf with boundary issues)

x

The door to the workroom opened and Ghost bounded inside, snuffling at Stannis's hands. Lady Stark, following behind, narrowed her eyes at him as she closed the door.

"You fed him something recently, didn't you?" she said. Ghost, finding nothing, gave a disapproving huff and flopped down by the fireplace.

He had, but that was besides the point. "What are the Knights of the Vale doing here?"

"Just don't give him chicken, we had a terrible problem with the henhouses when they were puppies," she said absently, and circled round to sit at her chair on the far side of the work table. "I brought them here for you."

Stannis, still standing, paused. "For me?"

"Yes, for you. I can't bend the knee, Your Grace. Not yet. But I'm not entirely useless."

"Of all the adjectives I've thought to describe you with, 'useless' has never been one of them."

She smiled at that and looked down at the papers strewn across the table. "Littlefinger — Lord Baelish," she corrected, "had plans for the North. Marrying my Aunt Lysa and becoming Lord Protector of the Vale wasn't enough for him; he wanted more."

"How much more?" Stannis asked as he took his seat again. He was already well able to guess the answer.

"Everything," she answered, a distant look in her eye that Stannis did not like. "He wanted to marry me off to the Boltons. I think the plan was for you you to come sweeping down from the Wall and either take Winterfell or kill out enough of the Bolton forces to weaken them. At which point Littlefinger could come riding to my rescue with the Knights of the Vale. He'd have a ward at the Vale who looked to him for approval, and a new Lady of Winterfell who'd be grateful to him for saving her from monsters twice over." She nodded at his moue of distaste. "Yes, well, he always did consider me one of his cyvasse pieces, to be moved around the board as needed."

Stannis had avoided Baelish at King's Landing, insofar as he could while both of them served on Robert's Small Council. But he well remembered how Baelish spoke of women, how effortlessly he used them and used them up. What damage had he inflicted on a young, friendless girl while he'd had her in his custody? No wonder Lady Stark had fled from him at the first chance of escape.

If that's what had truly happened. The story from the Riverlands was that Baelish had been killed by his own men, and there was no reason to doubt it — such a treacherous man would have succumbed to treachery sooner or later. But Lady Stark had proven herself capable of surprising things, these past months.

It didn't bear thinking of too closely. He cleared his throat. "The Vale, the North — if Baelish wanted the Iron Throne, he'd have needed more than two kingdoms at his command."

"The Riverlands probably would have been next," said Lady Stark with a frown. She pawed through the papers and pulled out a book. "I've been going through the maester accounts, such as they are, from the time my father left Winterfell until now," she said, flipping through it. "There are gaps, obviously, but Maester Wolkan's been keeping remarkably faithful records. Including copies of every raven scroll." She passed the book over to him, tapping at a particular passage. "This was sent to Roose Bolton from the Twins, only a few days before we began the siege."

"'The Blackfish traitor has stolen Riverrun from us. In the name of fellowship among the new Lord Paramounts and the victors over House Stark, we ask for your aid in catching this damned fish and roasting him on a spit.'" Stannis set the book back on the table with the peculiar urge to wipe his hands clean. "Walder Frey was always a craven. Wanting everyone else to fight his battles for him."

"He didn't even have the courage to murder my brother himself," said Lady Stark, taking back the book and closing it with a snap. "Though I've been told it was his son who murdered my mother. A great warrior family, clearly. Plus he doesn't know it's 'Lords Paramount' and not 'Lord Paramounts.'"

Stannis had seen flares of temper from Lady Stark before (on any number of occasions), but the icy rage in her voice gave him pause. Not for the first time, he considered how very merciful she had been with him, in the end. A man responsible for his own brother's murder, when she herself had lost her brother to the very basest of treachery — what might she have done to him, if he'd been anyone other than the rightful king?

Even as he wondered, he knew that his titles had not been what had stayed her hand in judgement. The Starks had never been particularly pragmatic, mostly to disastrous ends, and for all her intelligence Sansa seemed to have inherited a fair helping of the Tully pig-headedness on top of the Stark romanticism. King Stannis would have had no better luck against her judgement than Lord Stannis or Ser Stannis or even Goodman Stannis; it had been for some other reason she had spared him. He wondered when the bill would come due, and if it would ever be in his capacity to pay it.

Lady Stark had continued on. "I haven't found any record of a message sent back to the Twins, but I doubt the Boltons sent one. Lord Bolton were never much for rousing himself for anyone else's interests, even before he betrayed my family. I sent a raven to House Mallister of Seaguard; he sided with Robb during the war, and the Mallisters have always been loyal to House Tully." This time she handed over a scroll, flattened out but still curling slightly at each end.

It was only a bit longer than Walder Frey's, and about as useful. Blackfish holds fast; they have supplies within to last two years or more, and the siege set by the Freys will not last half a season. Brynden has not called the banners of the Riverlands, for Lord Tully is still hostage to the Freys. But if Lady Stark should call, Mallister will answer.

"'If Lady Stark should call,'" he repeated wryly.

"Lord Mallister bounced my mother on his knee when she was a babe, Your Grace," she said, equally wry. "All the oaths of fealty in the world can't replace the bonds of family and friendship between the northern Houses, even those not in the North itself."

"So I am beginning to understand," he said, handing the scroll back. "So the Twins are undefended at present."

"Most likely — Lord Frey is still there, but the bulk of his army will be at Riverrun." She leaned forward. "I've spoken with Lord Royce; he swears to me that Lord Arryn will bend the knee if you lead the Knights of the Vale and your own army and take the Twins. From there, you'll be able to break the Frey's siege at Riverrun — you'll have both the Vale and the Riverlands in a matter of months."

It was a fine strategy, but Stannis couldn't help but feel vaguely offended by it. "Do you mean to tell me that because you refuse to bend the knee, or promise any of your own army to my cause, you've delivered the Knights of the Vale and a promise of House Arryn's fealty as a...consolation prize?"

Lady Stark shrugged. "I suppose so," she admitted. "But a prize, nonetheless. I've only known Lord Royce since I was a guest at the Eyrie, but he seems an honorable man."

"He's an able commander, which is more to the point," Stannis contradicted absently, frowning down at the desk as he mulled it over. Two thousand men was no very great sum — but the Knights of the Vale were one of the best cavalry forces in the kingdoms, for all that they rarely strayed outside their mountains. With the Knights, Stannis's army could divide and take each half of the Twins in a pincer. It would be over nearly before it began.

"Of course, how foolish of me to consider such petty things as honor," grumbled Lady Stark.

Stannis ignored that. "Which leaves the Iron Islands to deal with. Has Lord Greyjoy sent any word?" Even the honorific stuck in his craw. Balon Greyjoy, the only other "king" to survive the war. Stannis had regretted the man's existence ever since the Greyjoy Rebellion.

Lady Stark shook her head. "Nothing. We've beaten back the last of the Ironborn holdouts, but I doubt they'll begrudge us that. My father always said the iron price never spent well. And they rightly blame the Boltons for whatever might have happened to Theon."

Which was still a mystery, so far as Stannis could tell. Theon Greyjoy had not been found among the dead at Winterfell, nor at the Dreadfort. If he'd escaped, there'd been no sightings reported. "No doubt you'll wish to execute him yourself, if he's found, but it would be better—"

"Execute Theon?" she said, her brow furrowing. "I — no. I don't wish that."

He leaned back in his seat. "You surprise me, my lady. I wouldn't have thought you squeamish after all this time." Perhaps that was his answer: she'd spared himself and Lady Brienne not out of principle but cowardice. In a way, it might be a relief: or at least it would be easier to understand.

She looked away. "Father did always say that whoever passes the sentence should swing the sword."

"That's not an answer. Your kindness does you credit, my lady, but if you show too much your people won't fear you. Which means they won't follow you, when the time comes." He'd said the same thing to her brother, more than a year ago when they'd argued over the fate of the wildlings and the drawbacks of mercy. The Lord Commander hadn't heeded the advice; was it a Stark family failing?

It must be, for Lady Stark sighed in frustration and said, "I don't want to be feared, Your Grace. And though you've failed to notice, I'm in no need of anyone following me anywhere. I'm staying—" She broke off and shook her head. "This always happens," she muttered, an odd smile tugging at her mouth.

He frowned. "What always happens?"

"This," she said, gesturing vaguely at the distance between them. "We can't go five minutes without arguing about something."

"That's not true." She sighed again and he reconsidered. "Perhaps if you didn't contradict everything I said."

"Perhaps if you had sisters, growing up," she countered. "My mother always said Arya and I were more trouble than all five of the boys put together." Her expression darkened and Stannis followed her thoughts — Theon had been one of those five boys. Raised alongside the rest of them, within these very walls.

"I thought you would want him dead," he admitted. "More than anyone else in the North."

She got to her feet and went over to the window, resting her arms on the sill as she looked out onto the courtyard. Stannis rose and joined her: down below were a dozen carts piled high with hay. All around them men and women were busy unloading the bales and stacking them up in a corner, where more workers took them away in a brisk line deeper into the Keep. Each cart was in the courtyard only a few minutes; when it was empty, the driver mounted up again and drove slowly out through the great gates, replaced by another cart yet more heavily laden. Supplies from the Northern Houses, to lay in for the oncoming winter.

"I don't want Theon dead," said Lady Stark after a long while observing in silence. He glanced over to her, but she was still looking down at the carts. "I don't want anyone dead, Stannis — there's been so much death. And more coming, if what Jon told you about the White Walkers is true."

She'd never called him by his name before; indeed she didn't seem aware she'd done it. "I believed him," he replied. "I still do. Your brother didn't seem the sort to make up stories."

"He always was honest to a fault," she said, turning to look at him at last. Her blue eyes were bright — tears, unshed. "I wish he'd come with you."

So did he, he realized. Not for his skill in battle or his perception or bravery: but only so his sister would not look so devastated at his loss. "He took an oath to the Night's Watch," he said, cursing at himself for his clumsy words even as he did so.

"I know that," she huffed. "Five minutes without arguing, is that really so difficult?"

"Evidently," he conceded, and she laughed. A watery sound, and she pressed the heels of her hand to her eyes quickly as she turned back toward the table, but laughter nonetheless.

[curiosityschild]

HAVE!?

YOU!?!?

HEARD!?!?!?

*there's a rumor in st. petersburg?? :3*

[venacoeurva]

found a skrim t**f lads, on today of all days

[f0r-evxr-haunt3d]

Have a free deep stab wound in the guts

[bredforloyalty]

holy shit the last week might have been like that because of the combined effect of stress and hormones

[breelandwalker]

Okay but somebody please actually put Himbo and Hellcat in a Hallmark-style romcom, for true and for serious, they're so ridiculously cute. 😂

New Twitch ad with Laura and Travis in a “Hallmark” movie

[demonaria]

my process for creating ocs consists of creating a slut and/or a prude and then just making that a way for them to mask immeasurable amounts of trauma

[haruchi-slit]

"CAUGHT!"

・❥・synopsis: Jjk men catching you masturbating...

warnings: Toji's part: mutual masturbation and use of adult toy! | Gojo's part: rough fingering and biting! | Suguru's part: dirty talk, and cunnilingus! | Sukuna's part: teasing lots of teasing, pet names: whore/slut/little princess, and denying orgasm! | Choso's part: masterbates while watching you behind the door|Shui's part: fingering, and dirty talks!

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Toji:

after running errands from the store, your boyfriend decides to come home earlier than you expected, but to his surprise, he comes home with no people inside the house, it was dead silent, but until- he heard soft whimpers his ears perked up, dropping the plastic bags on the counter to investigate... "pumpkin?" he calls in a low groan, slowly approching your shared bedroom.

"mffngh..~" a muffled moan! his ears perked up once again, he walks slowly, moving his right hand to the bedroom's door knob- and what does he see? his beautiful girlfriend having fun without him...he opens the door, enough for him to get in, you jolt by his sudden appearance, "Toji!" you gasped covering yourself and the vibrator on your hand "having fun, without me?" you shook your head side-to-side, you can feel your cheecks heating up from the embarrassment.

Toji clicked his tongue approaching you, "what's there to hide anyway? I've seen you longgg before" he chuckles, "should've told me though?" he adds. You couldn't move nor talk, "Oh well" he stood up about to leave,

"W-Wait!" you said, making Toji raise a brow,

"yeah?" he asks- "help...help me" you whined looking him with your pretty doe eyes.

"That's what I like" he says with a smug smirk.

and now look at you,he's got you in a meannn mating press, knees reaching your shoulders as he tops the tip of his cock on top of your clit- as he held the vibrator under the covers, placing it on top of his tip, the vibrator, vibrates in a uncontrollable speed, that it seeps vibration on your pretty abused clit, "f-fuck!" he groans pressing the vibrator harder, "T-Toji! slow it down!" you yelp...only for him to chuckle "can't do princess m' a-almost close f-fuck-"

He's loving how your toy make him throbbb so muchh.

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Satoru:

Gojo is tired talking with the higher ups and also eliminating curses it's been weeks since he saw his wife- so before going home he decides to stop by at his favorite shop filled with sweet delicacies to share with his wifey.

"Yeah, and one of those" he says pointing at the matcha flavored cake. he comes home carrying shit ton of sweets dangling on his arms he unlock the front door and hurried to put the sweets in the fridge so it stays fresh before he calls his wife to munch on them later- he strides across the house until he's in the living room he saw his wife's head peeking from the couch so he sneaks quitely to surprise her but to Satoru's surprise he finds you on the couch, legs spread wide open and right hand going up and down your clit, occasionally teasing yourself. Satoru was so taken aback that he couldn't speak!

"damn it, why can't i do it like satoru?" you sigh, you stood up accepting your defeat you turn around and saw Gojo motherfucking Satoru you went pale, pale as a paper.

"Oh hi...welcome home?" you whispered- tugging your sweater to cover you panties.

"Thank you honey...but- I'm too shock to speak and also why didn't you tell meee?" he says with flustered face "i could've helped you earlier if you sent me a message or somethin'" he pouts, your embarrassment rose and made your cheeks bright pink- "You're busy s-so i didn't sent a text or called i was-" you stuttered, Satoru approaches you slowly, cupping your face, you tried to avoid eye contacts but he held your face, to face him directly, "whenever you're needy just say so, y'know you're my top priority" and with that, your lips collides. Satoru slowly laid you down on the couch, prying your legs open then finally removing your panties once again. Satoru spits on your cunt watching it roll down on your entrance, he latches his lips on your cunt lapping it like a wild animal combining his slender fingers going in and out in your walls--

he really missed you- so fucking much.

"Sat- fuck!" you yelp as the speed intensifies, he kisses your clit- rubbing it he lets out a gasp. your body's already so sensitive. he goes up to kissed your lips that soon rolls down to your collarbone- he bites it like it was his favorite sweet before sucking it and leaving a red mark he repeats it over and over until you're covered with his marks, some of it bleeding he goes back to your pulsating cunt,

rubbing it in a circular motion before letting his pants pool down to the floor with his boxers. he throws your leg on top of his shoulder then letting his cock slide in your warm walls, "feelin' good now- shit, baby?" he asked " m'yes yes sat! fill me s'good" you slurred eyes literally seeing other dimensions as he bucks his hips at a intense speed

Damn he missed you sooo much.

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Suguru:

"Babes I'm home, just finished dropping off the girls to school ready to shop and meet with satoru and the others?" Suguru calls out but no one answered. he looked thru the kitchen, bathroom, closet, garden and even the dining room but you were no where to be found, but there is one room he haven't checked, the master bedroom, and he was right! you were there- but what are you doing?

masturbating...

"Y/n?.." he whispered enough for you to hear.

"Suguru!" you respond, covering yourselft with the nearest pillow beside you, "I-I'm soo sorry- I'm just so stressed with work, the-the higher up were asking me to do tons of-" you stutter, you're so nervous, you're afraid that suguru will see you differently, Suguru was stunned- but he isn't disgusted nor angry- instead he feels sad- sad that he didn't gave his sweet fiance what she needs- sad that he didn't get to fuck the stress out off her body.

"Babes- chillax... it's not like the first time i seen you" he coughs "masturbating.."

"How- What? you've seen me?" you asked "yes- it's not like i don't do it too...i understand that work at jujutsu tech is overwhelming sooo it's understandable baby, c'mon let's fuck that stress out your body, hmm?" he smiles with a assuring aura, gentlely crawling on top of the bed. but oh boy! that assuring aura soon fades away, and lust controls, his eyes darkned obviously blinded by lust-

"you like it when I'm like this yeah?" Suguru chuckles, removing the blanket covering your soaking cunt, he lays with his chest and pulled your thighs closer to his mouth, he places his hands to your stomach carefully holding you in place. he's eager to fuck that stress out off you, as soon as he got the chance to eat your pussy, he latches his mouth- pressing his lips on your cunt, tongue targeting your bundle of nerves everytime he licked your cunt dry.

what a nasty boy he is.

you squirmed a lot so he tighten his hands around your stomach "keep it steady babes, can't you see I'm having my meal?" he say, raven dark hair tickling your thighs as he nuzzled his nose against your clit.

for fuck's sake it was fucking heaven!

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Sukuna:

It was early and the morning, and you're needy- you cunt was dripping wet as it pulstate around nothing, you woke up with heavy breaths, you're eager to find your husband- whose no where to be found in the room, so what did you do?

you took care of it yourself.

"fuck-" you cursed under your breath massaging your puffed clit only for the door to swing open without any warning!

oh oh...

you're met with sukuna's four eyes slowly scanning you. "what were you doing?" he asked raising a brow as he clasped his set of arms, "...not-nothing!" you squirmed around the bed, "lies... you're a liar i can see it behind your doe eyes.." he responds, yet another protest escaped from your lips,

"come on little princess you, can not decieve me with your puppy, doe eyes- were you pleasing yourself while i was doing my tasks?" he ask once again "and you better not be lying.." he adds, you rose up from the mattress and shamefully nod-

"use your words" Sukuna demands as he lifts your chin to meet with your lustful eyes-

"yes- yes i was masturbating...I was just needy and i couldn't find-" he shushed you up

"your confession, was all i need" he kisses your forehead and then he lifts your petite body on to the mattress, you're so small compared to him. he slowly unties your kimono, just enough to tip you over the edge, he cups your face "such a needy little whore are you not?" he'd tease occasionally rubbing your clit painfully slow that it burns-

"Kuna-" your breath hitched grabbing his hand to press it hard on your clit. "ah ah, no.." he scolds as he uses his other set of arms to pin your arms above your head. "sukuna-ah!" a yelp rolled out off your tongue- as he keeps teasing your clit, middle and pointer finger going in and out your cunt- it was nasty, as well as the squelching sounds of your pussy sucking him in, he keeps on rubbing tight circles in your cunt- then kissing your lips so rough that it feels good- you could feel your climax brewing in the bottom of your abdomen- "look at how you pussy sucks my fingers- fuck it's so drenched with your juices" he mused- and he was amazed you're close and he knows it so he intensifies the speed of his fingers matching it with kisses around your body- "Ffffuck-!" you screamed almost cumming but Sukuna won't let that happen.

"Ryomennnn" you whimpered as he distanced his fingers from your swollen clit.

"That's your punishment, spoiled slut" he says as he lick off your juices out his hand then pressing a kiss on your forehead.

what a meanie.

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Choso:

"Is there someone else or notttt- cause i wanna keep you closee~" Choso hums as the elevator dings- the elevator then opens to your floor leading to your apartment, "I don't wanna lose my spot, cause i need to know if you're hurting him- or you're hurting me~" he continues to hum as he unlocks the door he lets his tote bag dangle on his biceps- as soon as he enters he drops off his things on the coffee table near the door before shutting the door he then removes his headphones hanging on his neck, before calling you out "Honnn m'homee" Choso walks to the bedroom guessing that you didn't hear him calling. upon arriving he sees the door slightly open, he had the urge to not swing it completely to peak on what you were doing and to his shock you were masturbating!

his eyes widens as he covers his face, his embarrassment rose as he peaks eagerly, you were bucking your hips against your fingers, slowly letting your cunt suck you fingers in.

he instantly felt his pants tighten as his cock grew further, he pushed the door slightly enough for him to see your leaking pussy, palming his cock in the process, he can hear your moans, your whimpers and that squelch your pussy makes everytime you put your fingers in. "choso-" you moan- imagining it was him that's touching your hungry cunt, and that tips Choso to the edge, unzipping his pants to give friction on his throbbing dick-

his breath hitched, he really wants to fuck the shit out off you with the nasty thing you're doing right now but there's something stopping him. he stayed quite watching you roll over and hump on the pillow rubbing your clit lustfully as you slurred his name out your tongue.

what a pervert.

He rubs his pre-cum all over his tip, rubbing his cock up and down as you rub your cunt he swear he almost drooled at the sight, he rubs his cock faster resulting his climax and damn in chance you also came. (soulmates fr!) his cum was all over his clothes. he peaks once again you were breathing heavily- after you came down from your high you stood up and put your underwear and leggings- when he saw you standing up he hurries to zip his pants in and ran in the living room.

you walked in the living room seeing your boyfriend whose sweaty and flustered

"Chooo you're homee- since when?"

you asked nervously. "just-just got home.." he says with a upsidedown book on his hands.

malewife choso.

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Shui:

You've been flicking and massaging your cunt for a couple of minutes now but still couldn't bring your self to orgasm "Fuck!" you exclaimed "you done?" your ears perked up hearing someone spoke behind you.

"Oh mother-!" you jolt as you see your boyfriend leaning against the doorframe.

"Can't cum?" he chuckles as lifts you up infront the big mirror in your bedroom.

"Wanna learn?" he adds you couldn't speak so you nod eagerly, his right arm grabs your cheek to face the mirror "m'kay" he guides your hand on your pussy circling it around the labia then pressing it hard on your clit, he nuzzles on your neck whispering that you're such a nasty girl,

"you couldn't hold back,hm?"

"didn't wait for me and had fun yourself?"

"fuck, just keep on moaning darling.."

he whispers on your ear as he guides your fingers to go faster- you were trembling, trembling with pleasure! soon after you climaxed your fingers was covered with your cum you nuzzled on Shui's biceps as he drags your hand to his mouth to suck your fingers clean.

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a/n: ok I'm sleeping kidding- erm it took me 19 days to finish this shit bro?? nahhh my procatinating shit is ABOVE average ugh I hate myself anyways do you guys want part two? (Ino,Nanami,Higuruma,Kusakabe,Ijichi) and if this flops I SWEAR!

[evilmark999]

Ain't no drug for that kind of limp dick!

*** This generic put-down is for ALL conservative types. Cut 'n paste. You're welcome!

[boltwrites]

Reader/Logan where reader is trying so hard to seduce Logan but mans a brick wall and when Reader just about gives up Logan confront them and reciprocates their feelings (smut?[optional])

A/N: no smut here, just because i'm working on a lot more smut for other fics. this is just kind of cute and definitely more than a little silly. Also, just general headcanons, and very gender neutral.

You've never tried so hard to seduce a man in your whole life, honestly. As soon as you met that man and Wade said he was going to be sticking around, you started thinking up a game plan.

Step one was obvious: dressing up for him. You started out casual enough - if you ever had to go see Wade about something, you made sure you looked nice. Hair styled, with clothes that made you feel confident and attractive. Maybe makeup, if that's your thing.

It didn't seem to illicit much reaction from Logan, though. He was usually involved in something else - didn't really pay you any mind. Hardly spoke to you, in fact, even when you batted your lashes at him and told you that you brought him some liquor as a "welcome to the apartment" gift. He'd just nodded at you, took it, and told you a very generic "hey - thanks." Like - he could have said that to his worst fucking enemy. Or some random fuck on the street. It gave you nothing.

So, obviously, you had to up the ante. Now you weren't just dressing nice, you were dressing slutty. Maybe for you, that was wearing a button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up over your forearms and some tight ass pants, or one too many buttons undone on that dress shirt. Maybe it was crop tops and booty shorts. Hell - maybe it was push-up bras and thigh highs. Whatever it was, you made sure to wear it the next time you sauntered on over to Wade's place.

And motherfucking Wade noticed. Made some asinine comment that you were trying to steal him away from Vanessa. You slapped him in the face as you played it off as whatever excuse you had this week, waltzing your way into the apartment so you could talk to Wade and see if Logan would look your way. Because that would be the key - if you could get him to look at you, you were sure you would know. There was always a sort of vibe in the air when two people who wanted to fuck looked at each other. You'd be able to tell.

Except - god fucking dammit - he was like a brick wall. You'd greeted Logan, waited for his eyes to dance over your outfit - and you got nothing. Maybe - maybe - his jaw clenched? but you couldn't tell. Fuck.

OK. Phase two: you'd have to get a little more assertive. You started inviting Wade and Logan out. You really didn't want to have to move on to phase two, because it meant you had to deal with Wade outside of his own apartment, which also meant you ran the risk of getting banned from fine, upstanding establishments. But fuck it, you'd risk it for Logan.

You took them out to a bar, along with Vanessa and Peter. You'd made sure to take the stool next to Logan. You did the usual - laughed at his jokes, asked him a couple questions when the conversation lulled. You leaned in when he spoke, and at one point you even worked up the courage to touch his arm.

And things had been going... well, alright, until you decided to do that. You'd been enjoying yourself - you'd even been kind of enamored with Logan for some of his answers. He'd replied to you like he would anyone else - except maybe Wade, since he wasn't rude and he didn't stab you - but there wasn't any animosity there. But when you touched him - he noticed. His eyes shot straight to your hand on his arm and his fingers had balled into a fist. You'd had to retract your arm and make a hasty apology and an even hastier excuse before he could chide you about it. You'd been so fucking embarrassed.

Whatever, OK. Setback. Not the end of the world. You take them to the club. Negasonic and Yukio even come. You're pretty sure Logan will be posted up at the bar all night, but that's fine! You still get to wear an extra hot outfit and, if plied with alcohol or other substances of your choice, you could certainly work up the courage to ask him to dance. It was a foolproof plan, nothing could possible go wrong -

Logan got himself kicked out before you could even begin to put it into motion. You had literally been sipping one of your first drinks of the night (either alcoholic or not, you needed to stay hydrated on the dance floor) and Logan had decided that, at no later that 11 at night, he needed to start a bar fight. It was hot, you weren't going to lie - he picked the dude up by the scruff of the neck and slammed him into the bar like he weighed nothing, fucking growled about it. God, you wanted to fuck him. But it still cut all your plans short.

You tried so much shit after that. Staging a movie night so you could sneak in a cuddle? Wade insisted on sitting between the two of you. Tried to ask Logan if he wanted food or to go out for a drink alone? Wade cut in and insisted on joining. Trying a thinly veiled sex joke or innuendo was out of the fucking question - Wade could smell those for miles away and would call you out on your old man crush immediately. It had to be godly intervention that he hadn't said anything so far.

Eventually? You were exhausted. You'd tried everything - and while Wade had thwarted some of your plans, most of them had just fallen flat. Logan just didn't respond to them. He didn't seem interested in seeing you in sexy clothes, didn't really seek you out in conversation. He hadn't insisted Wade stay home when you specifically asked Logan out and Wade interjected. And - it all came down to how he looked at you when you touched his arm. Maybe - maybe he didn't like you. Maybe you were too young for him. Maybe he didn't like anybody.

So, you stopped trying. It had taken a lot of energy to put in that effort, and you weren't interested in keeping that up for a man who didn't reciprocate. You'd still hang out with Wade and Logan, of course - but you weren't going to be arranging things specifically to try and seduce Logan, now.

That was, until two weeks after your decision to no longer pursue him, there was a knock on your door. And when you opened it - it was Logan. With - was that like, three garbage bags?

"Told Wade I was taking the trash out." Logan explained, nodding towards them. "Didn't want him following." Because Wade did kind of follow Logan around like a forlorn puppy - except when chores and/or manual labor were involved. But - ok, yeah, the trash bags were weird, but why had Logan specifically sidestepped Wade to come see you?

"Do you need something?" you asked. Maybe Logan was upset that you hadn't brought any booze over for a while. Maybe he needed cash. Your heart dropped thinking about it. But his eyebrow quirked up just a bit.

"You," he replied, plain as day. "You haven't been around lately." You blinked at him? Did he- "did you miss me?"

"I-" he caught himself, closed his eyes and bit his lip as he quelled something? "Yeah. Yeah, I did."

You were shocked, honestly. You were sure your mouth was hanging open. "But - you-"

"If Wade saw, you know that little shit would never let us hear the end of it," Logan posited, and your eyes widened. "So- so that was why you were acting like you didn't give a shit about me?"

He nodded, offering up a wry smile. "Mhm." Oh, for fuck's sake. "So - you do want to fuck me?" "Oh yes." His smile widened, with a low chuckle added to his reply. Oh, fuck.

You reached over the threshold of your door, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and fucking yanked.

"Then get the fuck in here, you - fucking - you tease!"

Later, with Logan curled up in your bed and nothing on except your underwear, someone pounded on your door, harsh and startling. It was accompanied by the pissed off voice of none other than Blind Al: "I almost tripped over your goddamn garbage and broke a fucking hip, 203! You owe me for that!"

[peppermintquartz]

8x04 Coda: Home Again

-

"Hey honey, I'm home," Tommy sings out from the door.

Evan bursts out from the study, eyes wide and a huge, disbelieving smile on his face. "Tommy!" He runs right up to his boyfriend and hugs him, before planting a big, wet kiss on his mouth, his hands already shoving his bag off his shoulder and rucking his shirt out of his jeans.

Laughing into the enthusiastic welcome, Tommy says, "Easy there, tiger, what's the rush? Also, I'm sorry I missed all the excitement."

"Chimney tranked a tiger today!" Evan says, reluctantly releasing Tommy from his embrace, though he doesn't let go of Tommy's wrists. "He rappelled down to the window of an apartment and tranked it. It was so awesome."

"An actual tiger."

"Uh-huh."

"In an apartment."

"Yup."

Tommy blows out his cheeks. "Aw man, that woulda been a fun call." All he's got was a seminar on updated fire suppression tactics

"Right?" Evan kisses him again, gentler and sweeter. "Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat? It's still a little early for dinner, but I know you hate flying commercial, and I bet you haven't eaten on your flight-"

"Baby, Evan, relax. Come here, let me hold you." Tommy hugs his boyfriend and burrows his face into Evan's shoulder. He smells of Tommy's shower gel and shampoo, and he recognizes the jacket and T-shirt. It's good to know Evan missed him as much as Tommy himself did. "It's so good to be home again."

Evan returns the hug, his lips seeking out the soft spot under Tommy's ear. He mumbles, "...this is so much better than Gerrard's."

Tommy must have misheard. He pulls back and frowns at Evan. "What did you say?"

"Uh, this is so much better than Gerrard's?"

What?

"What?"

Evan flushes. "Well, I told you about how I tackled him and he thinks I saved him, and that, um, somehow translated to me being his favorite? Which I really don't want to be? And he hugged me and thanked me? And... Well. He touches me. All the time." He looks miserable, his lower lip sticking out in a pout.

Tommy likes to think he's pretty even-keeled. He's seen how destructive anger can be, so he keeps a tight rein on his own temper. So he is entirely Not Incandescent with Fury at the thought of that decrepit motherfucker laying a single finger on his man.

"Evan. I'm gonna kill him," he says, in a completely non-murderous tone. He is Entirely Rational about this. "Tomorrow. I'm gonna kill him tomorrow."

"What? No, I didn't mean, no, not like creepy touch. Just, uh, uncomfortable. I think he thinks it's... fatherly? Which, I totally do not want." Evan shudders.

Gerrard will be buried in a hole with fire ants and roaches and scorpions. In the middle of the desert. Maybe the killer bees are still around. Tommy will lure them to the desert where Gerrard will be buried and spray him with that perfume.

"He... He took me golfing."

Tommy holds Evan more tightly. "Yeah, I'm gonna kill him. Painfully."

"Honey, we're not married, we wouldn't be able to have conjugal visits when you're in jail." Evan kisses him, rubbing up and down his back soothingly. "And I would rather you direct all that energy and passion to better uses."

Taking a long, deep breath, Tommy rests his forehead against Evan's. "Better uses?"

"Like... how about, showing me what you missed about me?" Evan asks shyly, sliding his hands to Tommy's waist and tugging on his belt. He catches his lower lip in his teeth. "I know I'd rather do that..."

His boyfriend is so smart and full of bright ideas. Tommy licks his lips. "Yeah. Let's do that instead."

[harunayuuka2060]

Chubby MC: ...

Ace and Deuce: ...

Ace, Deuce, and Chubby MC: YOOOOOOOO!!!

Ace: You're working as a server?

Chubby MC: Yeah. Well, I'm an all-rounder here.

Chubby MC: That means I also take care of the punks who dare to try to mess this place.

Deuce: Do they pay you a competitive salary though?

Chubby MC: It's good. The owner's a nice, old lady. She pays me just fine.

Chubby MC: What do you want to get, by the way?

Ace: Oh. Everything's on the menu.

Chubby MC: Huh. You're rich now?

Ace: Let's just say I'm, *slicks back his hair*

Ace: "Climbing the corporate ladder".

Chubby MC: Arrogant bitch. How about you, Deuce?

Deuce: I'm a sergeant now.

Chubby MC: Nice.

Ace: Why didn't you call him an arrogant bitch?

Chubby MC: Because Deuce was never a bitch.

Ace: We graduated and all and you still have favoritism? Fuck you!

Deuce: Ace, I can arrest you for that.

Chubby MC: Yeah. Arrest this motherfucker.

Ace, Deuce, and Chubby MC: *laughs*

Ace: Damn shit- So you really run the whole place, huh, except being the owner.

Deuce: It reminds me of when you once worked in the school cafeteria.

Ace: Yeah. You handled hundreds of orders.

Deuce: And then you blew up when someone yelled at you to hurry up.

Ace and Deuce: *laughs*

Ace: Ah, good old days.

Ace: Anyway, you married now?

Chubby MC: No.

Deuce: Why not?

Chubby MC: Well, I don't look like someone somebody would fall in love with.

Ace: ...

Ace: You're trippin'.

Deuce: Yes, I agree with Ace. You're the type of person anybody would love to be with.

Chubby MC: You mean in a "platonic" way.

Ace and Deuce: ...

Chubby MC: See?

Ace: Er, how about Jade?

Chubby MC: He has a fiancee.

Ace: Oof. Okay, you're going to be alone.

Deuce: *whacks him*

Chubby MC: *has arrived home*

Vivienne: *is waiting for them*

Chubby MC: ...

Chubby MC: Where's Jade?

Vivienne: There's something he needs to deal with, but he promised he'll be back before midnight

Chubby MC: Ah.

Vivienne: ...

Chubby MC: ...

Chubby MC: What do you want to eat?

Vivienne: King Crab.

Chubby MC: ...

Chubby MC: Good. That's what I bought.

Vivienne: *cracks the crab's leg with her sharp teeth*

Chubby MC: ...

Chubby MC: *puts the scissors away*

Vivienne: You have excellent cooking skills.

Chubby MC: Thanks.

Vivienne: ...

Chubby MC: *noticed her staring*

Chubby MC: What?

Vivienne: ...

Vivienne: I'm curious… You seem like a tempting bite.

Chubby MC: ...

Chubby MC: What?

Jade: Is this everything?

His mother: Yes. Thank you, Jade.

Jade: You're welcome.

His mother: By the way, how's your relationship with dear MC?

Jade: *chuckles* We've been doing well.

His mother: I'm glad. Your father is becoming impatient, you see. If I hadn't intervened, he would've forcibly brought MC here.

Jade: Thank you for doing that.

His mother: You're welcome~.

[erindrinkstea]

Please Please Please

Poly! Dark! 141 x Reader

TW: Dark Themes, Spicy Themes, Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Violence, Blood, Death.

Description, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Main Masterlist | CoD Masterlist

You would think that a bunch of grown men in the military would be mature. Said military men from the 141 task force nonetheless.

But no- these soldiers were just as petty as any motherfucker, if not even more.

It was clear to anybody that you weren't welcome in the task force despite being their lieutenant as well, much like Ghost. Well, unlike Ghost, they didn't respect you at all.

It could be felt from how Price refused to touch you at all- always patting the others but made sure to keep the contact with you minimum.

It could be heard from how formal Soap talked with you despite being so comedic and casual with the others, his warm tone quickly turning cold as soon as a conversation tried to be initiated.

It could be seen with how Gaz was so affectionate and comfortable with others but turns stiff and awkward as soon as you walk into the room.

Now, Ghost... He showed his dislike for you through everything. You could see it, hear it, feel it and fucking sense it. His stern glare, his strict tone, his rough hold and how oppressive he feels near you.

His chocolate eyes which you first admired melted into fear as they resembled more like the dirt he would bury you 6ft deep in.

The 141 hated you.

It was crystal fucking clear.

You don't blame their hatred. You understood why they hated you, but you do blame their pettiness.

The way you joined was different from others. Price didn't choose you, you were assigned to the 141 by Laswell.

She said that your talents were essential to the 141 and could be put to good use. I mean, you did almost unalive Soap as proof to your skills.

You were the lieutenant of another task force to start it off. The 141's mission clashed with your team's mission which led to certain misunderstandings.

It was too late when the misunderstanding was cleared- you had already landed a shot through Soap's throat and poor lad was choking on his own blood.

If it weren't for your team's combat medic, the sargeant would have died of suffocation from a shot to the throat.

A couple months passed since that mission and sad to say, your team didn't last. Unrelated to the 141, due to a mission gone bad- your captain as well as one of your sargeants died. The team was unable to perform due to the loss and caused your other lieutenant and two sargeants to retire.

You, on the other hand, wanted to resume your duties as lieutenant despite the loss. You wanted to push forward- not because you were strong. But to punish yourself for their deaths.

You would be a waste to assign to any other team that wouldn't allow you to showcase your skills and talents. This caused Laswell to make the decision to assign you to the 141. Even if they complained.

Now, you understood why the 141 was so against your addition to the team. You didn't exactly have the best history together. But you tried to make it up for your mistakes. You really tried to mend things, find common ground, initiatiate a truce for almost a fucking year.

You felt desperate, pathetic almost.

"That would be all. You're excused, Lieutenant." Price waved you off from his office, you sighed as you shut the door behind you.

You made your way to the kitchen- hoping that at least, they took a bite of your efforts.

You stopped in your steps, a few feet from the kitchen counter, you stared at the unmoved and probably cold by now food left there.

They didn't touch it at all.

You felt frustrated. "Seriously?"

You went closer to the plates left alone by your team. Not a single thing was touched.

You really put your effort on this one. You took note of their favorite food even! You made them after a really tiring mission, you knew that the team would probably be starving.

You even heard Soap complaining about how his stomach was killing him.

"I fucking give up." You mumbled, angry and exhausted. One year and three months was enough.

"If they're gonna be petty then fucking fine. But my patience isn't forever and I'm done." You rambled on to yourself. You took the plates and dumped the food into seperate plastic containers.

You weren't a waste. You'd probably give the food to Riley, save the other containers for the following days. The K9 at least had more manners than the rest of the humans in this compound.

"I'm done trying to be the bigger person." You angrily muttered as you crouched down to place the container in front of the dog.

Riley tilted his head at you. Curious at your rambling and sensing your irritation.

One last mission. You promised.

Just one last mission with the 141 and you would demand a transfer from Laswell. If that won't be allowed- all might as well go to hell and you'd join Kortac.

Roze always tried to persuade you to join and Konig wasn't afraid to joke of your addition to the team. You were pretty sure it wasn't a joke as Horangi handed you official documents of transfer.

You gave Riley one last pat before heading back to your personal room. Being in the 141 had it's benefits at least with the special treatment.

It was nice to have your own room to yourself. You'd die of tension if you'd share a room with the rest of the team.

You passed Gaz in the halls, he stiffened at the sight of you and you internally rolled your eyes at that. You ignored him and headed straight to your room.

Gaz almost stuttered in his steps when you passed by him, not even sparing a single glance at him.

He looked back at you as you entered your room and shut the door. It was weird not being greeted by you for once. He brushed the encounter off nonetheless.

You just didn't notice him, he guesses.

But that didn't sit well in his gut either.

[hai7ani]

Haitani Rindou is known to not be a very serious person.

There is nothing serious about him at all. He liaises with a bored look on his face, doesn't really attend executive meetings unless Mikey is there, and spends the rest of his days at his own club drowning in the girls, the music or the alcohol, and maybe letting off some steam by snatching away Sanzu's job.

But he is serious today. Angry, even.

The air is tense and it reeks of expensive European cologne when he steps one foot into the room. Briefcases filled with illegal substances welcomes his sight on the coffee table and tall stacks of cold, hard cash residing on his desk.

A man sits with one dirty shoe on his favourite British-imported sofa smoking a cigar, and Kokonoi Hajime on the opposite couch calm and collected.

There is also a girl crawling on all fours with a hot pink leash on her neck, tighter than a dog's collar.

Her skin glimmers under the dim lighting 一 with hints of blood that he could still recognise across her arms, but mostly with sweat. Her lips are pale, wobbly, and tears are pouring out of her sockets. Hurt and fear evident in her eyes.

She is you.

The dress that he got you 一 handpicked for you delicately 一 all ripped and torn and it barely clings onto your body anymore like it did all the time. You look like you're about to pass out anytime soon.

Haitani Rindou is filled with rage.

"Ah, Haitani! Just the man that I was looking for. Come, have a seat." The man invites with a huge menacing grin on his face, as he puts out the cigar on his expensive sofa.

It's my fucking office, you motherfucker.

Mario Ricci 一 he thinks it was, pauses counting the stacks of cash in his hands when Rindou does not move as he says. "Hmm?" He follows along his gaze which turns out to be stuck at you on the floor. His Italian accent is thick and heavy when he speaks, almost sounding like an ancient bard.

"I was passing through your halls and I saw this wonderful beauty standing right there, and I thought," he pauses, bending down slow to look at you.

"She'd be a perfect little mutt."

He tugs on the leash looped around his left hand, hard. His cologne fills up your nostrils from the distance and it is the only thing you can breathe in. More tears pool around your eyes as you cough 一 your throat is sore and the skin around it hurts. The buckle pushes hard against the side of your neck and he tugs another time.

"You wouldn't mind if I took this one home with me, yeah? You have plenty of sluts in your establishment already." There is a teasing glint in his eyes when he finally lets go, only to reach down and drag on your disheveled locks of hair.

He guides you like that 一 impatient and harsh 一 while you struggle with movement because you cannot look down at your hands, as you carefully crawl against the carpeted floor with your scalp red and painful.

You start sobbing again when he pulls away, and you lock eyes with the man that owns you, standing by the door.

There is fire in his eyes when he finally sees the picture that Mario painted for him. You're kneeling between his legs with two palms flat on the floor, catching your breath with uncontrollable drool dripping off your tongue.

Like a damn dog.

"God, she'd make a damn good slut. But I'm sure you already are during your time here, yeah, baby?" He taps on your cheek and swipes the drool away.

Your gaze is cloudy when you stare into Rindou's eyes. You're broken and battered. Your eyes no longer bright and shiny as when they used to admire him in the night, in his bed, when you'd draw your fingers along the lines and curves of his tattoos 一 they're filled with fear and you are so tired. You're shaking all around and you're so cold. You're a lot colder than what he's used to letting you feel. His fists tighten any more, deep in his pockets.

But he can still read you like an open book.

"This is a five million dollar deal." Kokonoi cuts in. "Can we be fucking serious? Just take the slut for free, Ricci. She's yours. We have more important things to talk about."

A quiet mewl escapes your throat when Mario grins, very satisfied with Kokonoi's words. You start to cry, begging, when he wraps a hand around your chin and bends down to give your cheek a wet kiss, disgustingly. You don't look away from Rindou the whole time.

Please don't give me away.

The sound of a gun clicking catches everyone's attention. You look him dead in the eye and he can hear you loud and clear.

Haitani Rindou isn't serious about a lot of things.

"Fucking let her go."

But he is serious about you.

"Or I'll put a bullet through your throat and it'll be no deal for all of us."

His own slut.

His favourite girl.

Sequel