#YOU TWO ARE JUST CREATING BANGER AFTER BANGER

[joffyworld]

AHHHHHHHHHH ONE SHOT ONE SHOT ONE SHOT ONE SHOT

Luck of the Lamb Side Story: Festival of New Life

During the spring festival celebrating the end of the winter, Narinder struggles to accept his new place in the cult as co-leader and reformed god.

We've been working on this one for a bit and finally got it wrapped up, I hope you like a cute little one-shot with some lore and relationship drama!

[fadedtoneverland]

ice on my teeth | c.sn

❤︎ synopsis — san’s been feeling a little bold lately after his most recent comeback

pairing: idol!choi san x afab!reader

theme: smut ❣︎

a/n: ice on my teeth slaps and san in the mv has me feeling some type of way. enjoy this fic i cranked out from the horniest crevices of my mind. banner credits to @sylusz

cw: no gendered pronouns for the reader. top!san. bottom!reader. pet names (baby, babe, honey). vaginal fingering. oral sex (f receiving). slight overstimulation. reader is hormonal for san. san is a bit of a freak

san was so unfairly hot.

and he knew it.

it was insanely obvious that he took advantage of that fact too, because this comeback, his stylists went all out for every single one of his looks.

as the partner of choi san himself, you had special privileges of freely roaming photoshoots and music video shootings whenever ateez prepared for their latest comeback. it’s a special opportunity that all of ateez partner’s got, per the request of the members themselves.

and damn, did your man really aim to make you go feral this time around.

the new golden hour part 2 ep was an absolute banger, hongjoong even gave you the luxury to have an early listen to one of the songs on the album. of course, with banger songs, comes with a banger music video.

a music video that was a little too sexy for your own sanity.

the entire process was a thrill for ateez, but an agonizing time for you. you were forced to sit behind the camera crew while they took the most sinful shots of your boyfriend, trying to be discreet with how you rubbed your thighs together every time san flashed one of his sultry, sexy smirks that he’d usually give you in the bedroom.

it’s like god was laughing at your misfortune from the clouds with a popcorn bucket in hand. oh how you so badly wanted to jump your man’s bones and suck his dick right then and there, but you knew better than to create that oddly graphic scenario.

there was one particular scene that was being filmed, where san was looking up into the camera through intricately decorated chains and jewelry, shooting his iconic dark, sultry eyes. san was dressed in nothing but a fur coat and pants, lowered ever so slightly to teasingly show off his dolce gabbana boxers.

and he definitely knew he was affecting you in such a way, because every time you even catch his gaze, he always flashes you that cocky ass smirk, which only fuels your desire to just wipe than smile off with your lips on his.

this man should be illegal.

finally, after what seemed to be a lifetime of undressing san with your eyes, the music video filming was finally over, and you got to take your man home to your place.

san had already told mingi and seonghwa ahead of time that he’d be staying over at your place for some “quality time with his partner”.

a few hickeys and one sloppy make out later, the tension had finally boiled over into a heated dance of passion and lust between the two of you, with san pushing you down onto your duvet, his large hands roaming over your body, worshipping your clear skin.

“gorgeous.” san panted out, lathering wet kisses over your stomach, pushing your shirt up to your chest to grant himself more access to your body.

breathy sighs escaped your wet lips, and your gaze drifted down to the masterpiece of a man between your legs. a breathless chuckle erupted from your throat.

“someone’s eager.” you teased. san responded with a nip to your inner thigh, making you gasp.

“you’re one to talk.” san lowly groaned while practically ripping off your pants in one swift motion, which only made your panties even more soaked.

“i saw how you were looking at me during the filming. you’re not that slick, honey.”

you laughed, though it came out more high-pitched than expected. “can you blame me? you were looking so damn hot for that camera.”

“good.” san punched out with a grunt, his head diving between your legs. catching the elastic band of your panties between his teeth, he dragged down the sodden fabric in a teasing manner, slowly egging you on and heightening your arousal.

when you finally kicked off the delicate fabric yourself, the bare sight of your glittering, wet cunt, was all it took for san to lose control.

san has always been an impatient man when it came to you, so he wasted no time spreading your thighs apart, licking up your slit in one, fat stripe, and then beginning to feast on you, moaning wantonly into your sensitive skin.

your moans were shameless and loud, fingers immediately darting down to tangle in san’s raven hair, tugging on the strands periodically as san devoured your pussy with his skilled tongue.

“fuck, i’ll never get tired of this taste,” san grunted into your skin, letting out a moan as his tongue lathered over your sensitive folds. “it’s just so damn good.”

a high pitched whine escaped your lips. “h-hah.. sannie…”

“yeah, that’s it, baby. say my name.” san continued to worship your dripping core, his lips latched around your clit and sucking hard, flicking his tongue over it every now and then. your moans only got louder each time, and san just reveled in your pleasure, getting off on it.

san’s cock was so hard in his pants it was almost painful, begging to be freed and just fuck your pussy silly. but san was focused on you, and only you, wanting to hear your sounds and your pleasure.

a tiny trail of saliva dripped from the corner of your mouth, moans and whines coming from your throat nonstop as san ate you out like it was the last time he was ever gonna taste pussy. his calloused hands gripped the plush of your thighs tightly every time they closed instinctively around your head, spreading them apart and keeping them locked in that position.

“no. keep them open for me, babe.” san hashed out with a slight whine in his voice. he then licked a quick line up his two fingers before plunging them inside of you, relishing the loud gasp that came from your mouth.

“wanna make you feel good. please.”

the desperation in his voice made your velvety walls clench around his digits, and san groaned loudly at the feeling. hooking your thighs over his broad shoulders, san dived back in to abuse your clit with his tongue, while his fingers beckoned inside of your cunt to drive you crazy.

god were you a mess, the way san’s fingers just dragged against your spongy walls in all the right places, plus how he was prodding your sensitive pearl with his tongue. it’s like this man was trying to kill you.

every single sound that escaped your mouth only made san redouble his efforts, reducing you to his babbling, incoherent mess. your fingers tightened in san’s hair, pulling harshly at his messy black locks, and your hips bucked up to meet with san’s tongue and finger movements.

“s-san- san i can’t— a-ah~…” you whined rather loudly. san chuckled into your skin, the deep sound resonating within his chest.

and san’s gaze never left your face. his sharp, catlike eyes were dark. so dark that there was almost no white left in them, nothing but pure lust present in those black orbs.

“fuck. keep doing that for me.” san groans before removing his fingers, and spearing his tongue into your pink pucker. that about made you lose it right then and there.

“come for me, honey.”

it’s like his words cast some sort of spell on your body, because you came right then and there. your white essence flooded his tongue, and he eagerly swallowed up the sweet taste, groaning loudly and keeping his face stuffed between your thighs.

but even after your mind-shattering orgasm, san didn’t relent with his tongue movements. his continued ministrations left you a broken, whimpering mess, desperately pushing his head to try and find some sort of relief.

“s-sannie— san- it’s too much- please-!” you cried out, choked up moans coming from you.

san responded with a low whine, pushing his tongue harshly between your folds, as if to physically disagree. san’s head then came up from between your thighs, his lips and chin glistening with your arousal.

“nuh-uh, honey. we’re not stopping now.” san cooed softly. you would’ve melted at the sound of his honeyed words if it weren’t for your body being so sensitive.

pushing his pants down, his hard, leaking cock jutted out from between his legs. the tip was an angry red, demanding to be pleasured. as he shimmied himself between your legs and hooked them around his waist, you knew you’d be in for a long night.

then again, it wasn’t like you minded.

“we ain’t stopping ‘till i get to cum. and i’ll be sure to fill you up so good, babe.”

▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆▆

fadedtoneverland © 2024 | do not steal, modify or repost ANY of my work.

[snailsgoingdowntown]

Help, I Reincarnated as the Female Lead's Sister in Law!

Re-upload due to complications.

2 3 4 5 6

Chapter 1

Dion x Fem! Reader

Warnings: possible yandere themes, arranged marriage, toxic relationship, slight incestual themes due to the content of “Roxana,” blood, mention of murder

Nsfw warnings: Lost of virginity (both parties?), fingering, oral (fem receiving), spit, reader does NOT get to finish, vaginal pain, HEAVY DUB/CON.

Disclaimer: I do NOT condone any of the harmful and dangerous actions/behaviors that takes place in this piece of fiction. These actions/behaviors should not be normalized or romanticized as they are extremely toxic and dangerous.

Minors/blank/blogs that don’t reblog fanfiction dni and don’t span like my posts or you will be blocked.

Overall story summary: you reincarnated into one of your favorite novel-turned-webtoons. However, you didn't want to become the female lead's sister-in-law...

Word count: 4542k

===

“The Way to Protect the Female Lead’s Older Brother,” also known as “ROXANA” was a rather dark novel that was adapted into a webtoon. And as luck would have it, the webtoon wasn’t finished, and you don’t remember all the details of the fan translated web novel you found online.

Now, why would that be a problem? Simple:

You reincarnated into it. Not as a main character, or even a servant to one of the families. You weren’t a child of Lant’s or one of his many wives. You weren’t a friend to one of his children, either. Instead, it was worse than most of what was listed.

Whatever God you managed to piss off had a silly little, petty revenge plan that was straight out of a third-rate horror novel with teenage girls fawning over it. And truthfully, if written right, the non-existent novel would have been a banger – but no, instead it was anything but. Or maybe you only really think that because of your position in this world, where your birth was simple, but painful for your mother, and you were lucky enough to be born into a family that loved and cared for and about you.

It was a noble family, to boot. Wealthy enough to live a comfortable life. Two siblings – an older sister who was already married at the age of thirty with a child on the way. The other was a 12-year-old boy who made it his life mission to be the most annoying little piece of shit on earth.

But as you lay on your back, hands holding your nightgown in place, all you could think about was how small Dion Argece makes you feel. The wedding ceremony just finished up hours ago, and here you are, back pressed against silk sheets as your now-husband hovers over you.

(Name) Argece.

What a horrible name and cruel faith.

Inky black hair that falls into his carmine red eyes that held indifference. His wedding-tux was still on, even the outer jacket with the silly lone rose in his pocket. Oh, what a shame – to be married to such a handsome man only for him to be obsessed with his sister and emotionally unavailable.

God despises you.

“Close your eyes if you’re uncomfortable.”

He unbuttons his outer jacket, sliding it off his shoulders and tosses it to the side. You should close your eyes, you think, because his face was nothing but stone. Not even a condescending grin. He doesn’t comfort you, either – at least not in the typical sense.

“Keep still,” his gloved hands grab your thighs and you let him open them, creating space for him to get closer. You want to push him away and run. But what good would that do? Why couldn’t the man just slice something and claim that the blood on the sheets was from your first night?

“I’m scared.” You speak without thinking, becoming stiff as his hands traveled from your outer thigh to the inner, creeping underneath your nightgown. His gloves feel cold and uncomfortable, touch borderline rough. “I – I need a moment. Please?”

He tilts his head, giving it thought. After a moment he removes himself, but annoyance radiates off him. Your heart beats faster as the second’s pass. You remain on your back. The ceiling is painted white, no decorations and the room was bare saved for a dresser, closet, mirror and a random chair by the window.

You will be sleeping in here, from now on.

“Can’t do it? Then don’t.” he’s annoyed, surely, otherwise he wouldn’t look at you like you were an insect. What a wonderful way to start the newlywed life. But it’s not that easy to walk away, and while it sounds like he’s giving you a say-so, he isn’t; if you don’t consummate your marriage tonight, then…

“… I’m sorry. It’s my first time and I heard there would be pain.” You shouldn’t have to explain yourself. But Dion wasn’t exactly known for his… compassion. Or basic human emotions, either.

If this was someone else, would you be able to do it? Where did everything go wrong? This didn’t happen in the novel; Dion didn’t get married. There wasn’t a grand wedding with the Five Ruling Families in attendance. Nor was there a steamy scene with this man throughout the novel, not even in the side stories.

How did you end up here?

“Then relax.” If you weren’t scared of losing your life you would have run him over. It affects everything! Then again, it wouldn’t matter to him – this is a duty. Not something he wanted, you’re sure, and even if he did it would only have his best interests in mind.

“… I’m ready.” You don’t answer him, because it would only lead to a one-sided argument. Even a wall listens better. Despite your wishes, Dion does the same as last – settles in-between your legs, and this time, you close your eyes.

“Good. Try to relax or it won’t fit.” Your cheeks burn at that, mind already picturing how it would look. Many men say things like that, even in your old world. It’s just a thing they said, like with many things. It doesn’t really mean anything, because if it did then…

His gloves are still on, cold and grip tight on your thighs. You were hoping he would be gentler. But as his hands travel up and up until they’re pulling at the edges of your underwear to slide them down, you realize he won’t.

There’s no slickness down there, your underwear dry and vagina even drier. You peek through your eyelashes, watching as he inspects the article of clothing. He tosses it a few seconds later.

“I’m only going to ask once – would you rather keep your clothes on or off?” It seems that with every second reality just hits harder and harder. This was going to happen. Nothing could stop it. And if hypothetically, if he were to stop this, what then?

Even if he sliced an arm to fake the night, what about later? A baby, Lant wants Dion to have a child. No. You couldn’t do that to a child, especially yours.

“On. Please.” You expect him to just shove in a finger or two, watching as your body jerks in pain. Instead, he lifts your hips until your bottom was off the bed and flips the flimsy skirt up. And then there’s a glob of something wet and gooey, legs twitching as it lands on your bare cunt.

“D – did you just… spit?” steading yourself on your arms, you look on in disbelief as your husband just spat on your pussy. A string of saliva hangs from his tongue.

Instead of answering you, much less look at you, his thumb comes into play and spreads his saliva over the surface of your cunt. It’s only when his thumb swipes over your clit do you let out a shaky breath.

Maybe he was feeling generous or maybe he was curious. Dion decided to rub the twitching nub over and over until your legs twitch and cunt clenched around nothing. The glove made it uncomfortable, but even so, you just tried your best to focus on the pleasure. You weren’t sure if he would give you pleasure like this again.

“You’re enjoying this,” he retreats his hand leaving your twitching and needy clit lonely.

A pathetic whimper escapes as you watch your husband take his glove off with his teeth. This man is everything you fear and more, a character that you should have never met. Yet the sight of him lowering his head to lick a long stride against your slit has your legs shaking.

His tongue is warm and slimy, causing your hands to clench the sheets as your head falls back. Another lick and another until it’s flicking your clit back and forth, sending warmth throughout your body. However, despite the pleasure he’s giving you, his grip is still tight, almost painful on your hips.

Your heartbeat doesn’t slow down as he continues. Your fear barely dies down in your chest, even as the tip of his tongue teases your entrance. You shut your eyes tight, a breathless gasp leaving your lips as he thrusts his tongue into your cunt.

“It feels – “a pause as you catch your breath, “weird, it feels really weird and – “

Dion repeats the action until you’re a trembling mess, sensitive from your mental state and the current oral sex you’re receiving. It’s hard to focus on either one, your mind constantly reminding you that you’re in a novel, about to fuck a man who’s jaded and possibly has a thing for his sister –

“Ah… wait, that’s a lot…” he decides to go further, bringing his thumb back and rubs loose circles into your clit. He’s still eating you out, but not like a man starved like you read in erotic novels.

Even so, your husband keeps at it. If it was a good or bad thing was up for debate – on one hand, while it does feel good, everything is moving too fast, your pleas for slowing down falling on deaf ears. It really is a lot, tongue fucking you while those loose circles on your clit become tighter, rougher. Should you just lay back and take what he gives?

Your mother would probably say so. Your sister would just pat your head and smile like it was expected. Normal. Take what he gives, especially if it benefits you in any way.

“…?” your eyes open at his tongue leaving your cunt with a saliva trail, his eyes glued to your twitching sex. His thumb also stops rubbing circles, instead going back to grip your hip as your back starts to become sore. Your ass is still off the bed and if he keeps you hosted up like this, then you really will snap in half.

But then he locks eyes with you.

“I thought you were scared.” Dion doesn’t let you respond, either because he doesn’t care or because it would ruin the ‘mood.’ He latches his mouth to your poor, abused nub instead. And sucks.

“H-hey!” one hand supporting you while the other grabs at his hair, you didn’t expect him to throw your legs over his shoulders. “That’s enough, really, no need to – ugh…” his mouth was warm and soft, but it sends your nerves on fire.

Good. Bad. Good. Bad.

Good, bad, does it matter anymore?

He sucks harder and your fingers tug harshly at his hair. You kick your legs but are unable to tell if it’s from pleasure or the flight or fight response he’s causing you. He doesn’t budge, doesn’t bat an eye, making it his life mission to suck you dry.

“Ah – wait, Dion – “

It’s at your whine of his name does he finally, finally stop, a ‘pop’ when he detaches his mouth from your sensitive and bullied clit. Your husband decides to lick one last long stripe from your entrance to your clit, all the while making eye contact with you. Your chest heaves as your mind settles, arousal overthrowing your thoughts.

“What is it?” Monotone, his voice is monotone and he’s not even out of breath. Your mother lied, there’s not even a hint of pink across those cheeks. It’s fine, though – no, it’s not, it’s baffling how steady he seems when your back is about to break, and you can’t even breathe.

Your eyes travel from his to his hair, where your hand is still grasping the strands. Mind still catching up to your body, you let go and draw your hand back, covering your eyes with it. Your entire body is shaky and legs sore. You’re not used to this position.

“It – it’s enough.” Your husband lets you pull your legs back, feet pressing against his broad shoulders as you bring them back down. The relief is almost immediate, a pleasurable and relief-filled sigh leaving your chest. You allow yourself to rest for a bit, your sensitive cunt and sore legs screaming for it.

“… O – okay, I think, I think that’s fine. Excuse me…” gently, you pull one leg up until your foot is flat against the bed. With a shudder, you trace your entrance timidly with two fingers, getting used to the touch. You’re not sure of how big he was, but you’ll use three fingers just in case.

You gape like a fish when his hand reaches out, grabbing yours roughly. You didn’t even notice the dip in the mattress as Dion got closer on his knees, face inches away from yours. Oh God, now what –

“What are you doing?” clearly annoyed, Dion doesn’t let you look away – not that you were going to – free hand grabbing your face, pointer finger and thumb on each cheek. It’s barely loose enough to leave no bruises. It hurts regardless.

“I – I was… prepping…” part of you wants to pretend that this man doesn’t know how to comfortably prepare you for pentation with his… but you know better. Because an inexperienced man wouldn’t know how to do things with his tongue like that, or where the clit was because –

“Are you still scared?” The hand that was holding yours releases it, opting to sneak its way to your cunt. His fingers were larger than yours, nimbler as they stroke your labia minora. Are the shivers washing over you from nervousness or arousal?

“… I’m scared of the pain.” By instinct, you knew he meant more than scared of sex – if you feared him. Still.

It doesn’t need to be said.

“Scared of the pain?” His eyes glow in the moonlight, bright red with absolutely no emotion. “Why?” he doesn’t break eye contact as his fingers inch closer to your entrance, stroking the opening, making your legs jolt. What a horrible man.

You remind yourself that this man only felt fear as a child – and even then, it probably wasn’t for very long. Nothing lasts for long, in this estate.

“Because I hate it.” You don’t break eye contact either, breathing in when one finger slowly sinks in, your walls now stretching uncomfortably. It’s not as painful as you thought it would be, your wetness mixed with his saliva making it easier. Your nails are about to rip holes in the silk sheets.

Like a curious animal, he tilts his head, curling his finger. It doesn’t feel good, it hurts, but you endure it even when you wince. Dion decides it would be a good idea to spread your legs a bit further, and like a bug, crawls between them even more. You hiccup when he adds a second finger.

They’re bigger than yours, they reach deeper. In your old world, did it feel like this too? You can’t remember.

“It’s going to hurt worse if you don’t let me finish this. Relax your legs before it hurts worse.” Pressure builds in your eyes, but you fight it off. “Save your tears for when it matters.”

You’re tired of him already.

He doesn’t move them, at first. It’s almost like he expects this, because as you adjust to something foreign inside you, he starts to rub at your clit, again. Softly this time, touch firm enough to feel but not hard enough to hurt. Or maybe you’re lying to yourself because you’re wincing, still.

When he starts to thrust them in and out, you force yourself to look at the ceiling, scared to see the expression on his face. You also don’t want to watch the show, scared it’ll already be bloody. Just a bit.

“It’s tight.” He states it like it’s the morning news. “And wet.” Your cheeks burn with both shame and embarrassment, shutting your eyes.

“… ugh…,” groaning, your hand reaches out to grab his wrist. “It hurts, a lot.” You sit up, back against the headboard, avoiding your husband’s gaze. Unfortunately, by doing this, your eyes land on your messy hole, light blood on his fingers as he pulls them out only to thrust them in again.

“It’s normal. The more you resist the worse it gets.” You give up, letting him do as he pleases, shutting your mouth.

The fingering still hurts as the minutes go by, but little by little the pressure eases down and when he arches his hand, he hits something soft and spongy. He’s rewarded the sight of your head banging against the headboard once, shoulder tense as you bite your bottom lip.

If only you could see that look in his eyes.

“Here?” He repeats the action, faster this time. You only nod your head, lips ajar, tongue swiping over them. Your hips have a mind of their own, raising as the heel of his hand rapidly smacks against your clit with his thrust of his hand.

You’re half there mentally and halfway in heaven, momently forgetting just who was here with you, who room this belonged to, and your entire situation to begin with. “Oh - wait, it’s a lot but – “

A third finger is added, and it starts to sting again. Another wince, another groan, but your arousal helps to keep the pain to minimum. All three fingers curl to hit that special spot that makes you see blacked out stars and pussy clench. All the while light blood coats his fingers, a sight he’s already used to due to his lifestyle.

It’s only when he pulls his hand away completely do you return from the skies, a small layer of sweet coating your forehead. Your hands are shaky as you look at him, only to be drowned back into reality when you’re met with those red, indifferent eyes that glow brighter than the moon.

“If you’re ready, lay on your back and spread your legs.” He undoes his pants while saying this, scooting back to give you some room.

With a heavy heart, you do so, laying on your back and spread your legs. You were fine just moments ago, so why is your heart leaping out of your throat rather than staying in your chest? Maybe it was because of the pleasure, or…

You’re scared, again.

You don’t look when something fat and heavy plops onto your pelvis. You don’t look when he brings you closer by your thighs. You don’t look as he rubs the head of his cock against your slick folds, catching on your clit.

“Relax or it won’t fit,” he reminds you before pushing the fat head in. At first, it’s a sting no bigger than an ant bite. But then another inch goes in, and you feel like a sword is cutting you straight up open, your legs tensing and hands grasping his forearms in a futile attempt to stop him.

Your nails dig into his sleeves, and you can feel the skin underneath. The tears build up as your face becomes hot, taking in deep breaths like it would soften the intruding body part.

“Big – it’s too big, it’s not going to fit – “

“… You look cute when you cry.” It’s sinister, teasing and everything that makes your stomach drop. His thumb wipes away your tears that’s already staining your skin. But he stops regardless, if only to shut you up if nothing else.

You think a few minutes pass but it’s hard to tell when he’s still inside, pulsing and you could feel every vein on his cock. It’s thick, it’s big and you don’t think you’re equipped to handle it, handle him. He’s everything that ruins your sense of self, that makes your dreams shatter and fear rot you from the inside out.

But he’s your husband…

But he’s your husband.

“Relax,” he inches in deeper, slower this time, but not letting you get a word in. Your nails dig deeper, and if it weren’t for his shirt, you would have drawn blood. Another inch, another gasp that leaves you breathless, grasping for anything that could keep you grounded. The only thing you could grab was him, however.

“Dion, Dion, you’re going to break me, I can’t – I can’t – “

“You can. You have to.” Was his voice raspy, just now? If so, it worries you, because you just remembered one very important detail – Dion Argece was, if nothing else, a sadist. Be it from his childhood trauma, or if he would be like this regardless of, he loved seeing Roxana cried.

It never occurred to you that he would love seeing you cry, too.

How deep was he? It feels you’re being speared open, his cock bullying its way into your virgin hole. You weren’t a virgin in your last life, but it didn’t hurt like this. It had hurt, felt like you were being ripped, but not enough to make you cry and breathless.

You think you can feel blood trickling down your ass crack. “Please tell me you’re almost there, please…” sniffling, you look up at your husband, the man taking your virginity in the name of ‘marriage.’ A mirror shatters in the back of your mind.

There was a flush across his cheeks. Pupils blown wide and a small grin on his lips. He was enjoying this. Your pain, your tears and perhaps even your fear – he was enjoying this.

It would have been better if he didn’t feel anything, you think. Just a stone statue that was performing its task. But even monsters had emotions, you guess.

“I’m not. Just endure it for a bit longer – I’ll stop once I’m at the hilt.” Was he a liar in the novel? You think he was, otherwise, the overtaking of the Argece family wouldn’t have happened. Lant wouldn't be dead. But things haven’t followed the novel to a T – this was proof enough.

“You’ll stop? Like, completely? You – you took my virginity, so that should be enough. Right?”

You hate it when he keeps wiping your tears away. Or when he slides in even more, your blood coating his stupid dick. You hate it when he brings one hand to toy with your clit, granting you pleasure that was just overthrown by the smothering pain traveling up to your belly.

He doesn’t answer. And that was enough for you to rake your nails down the back of neck, drawing blood in return. He’s making you bleed, so it was only fair if you could too, right?

Deeper and deeper until his balls rest against your bottom and pelvic meeting yours. Surprisingly, your husband keeps his word, letting you adjust to the new feeling. It feels heavy. It feels like a heartbeat, like a rod that was stuck. It felt awful.

How long did it take you to get used to it, in the past? No longer than fifteen minutes max, right? No, shorter than that. Then again, it didn’t hurt this much, but that partner was more loving, more caring, gentler –

“Who are you thinking about?”

The question breaks you out of your daze. You blink, once, before you question him back. He only glares in response.

Panic fills you when he pulls out, pain still there, blood still trickling down. “Wait, you’re – “

“I’m what?” he pulls out until only the head remained inside. You try your best to ignore the bruising grip he has on your hips. You’re going to be sore tomorrow. If you survive this, anyway.

God, if you’re listening, please let this night end peacefully.

“B-big. It’s going to hurt, please don’t…” dragging your hands down from his neck to his chest, your fingers dig into his shirt.

“Hm. A shame, really; you still must give birth, eventually. It’s better to get used to it now than later.” Your mind doesn’t catch up with your body, legs tensing when he slides oh so carefully back in, like he didn’t just push your worries aside like nothing. “Relax.”

“Dion,” hiccupping, you brace yourself, head nuzzling into his chest as your hold on his shirt tightens. When he pulls back out, you could feel every detail, every vein trail, his grith truly opening you. He graces you a mercy, going at a languid pace, minimizing the pain. His thumb never stopped rubbing your clit, either.

It goes like that, for a good while. Slow and steady, your hushed sobs dying on your lips, your husband careful with his thrusts, but not his grip. It was almost comforting, in a way. But you were still scared of him, and of what will happen after this.

“… I have a proposition.”

His hips stop and your ears perk up.

“You want me to stop, correct?” Dion pulls back until he’s on his heels, his cock dragging along your walls. You wince before breathing out. He doesn’t even try to hide the sadistic look in his eye as he sees the dried tear streaks on your cheeks. He almost grins in glee.

“Y-yes…” You don’t let go of his shirt. “Why…?” there’s hope inside you, but dread starts to rot it away.

“Jerk it.”

“…what?”

He was different from the novel. Extremely so, because you doubt that Dion would suggest a thing, much less give you a choice in the matter. That Dion would have either ignored you and this night or take you as is, no mercy, no humanity granted if this took place at the beginning at the novel.

When he doesn’t repeat himself, you pull yourself up until you’re resting on your knees. The sight of blood both on his cock and the sheets make you gag and thankfully, he doesn’t comment on it. Hesitantly, you take him into your hands, fingers barely able to close around it.

It throbs in your hand.

Your blood is coating your hands now, too.

Only silence is between you, your hands working him. Your thumb swipes over his head, circling it before stroking his dick up and down. Your other hand plays with his balls, massaging them. You’re not sure how long it would take him to finish.

Your core throbs in pain, and you become worried over the thought of peeing. It would probably hurt.

You want to sleep.

Without giving it much thought, just like your husband, you spit on it, a glob of saliva falling onto the staff. It throbs harder. And when you look at him, tired eyes and drool still dripping down from your tongue, still jerking him off –

“…Ngh…”

It’s almost cute, the way sperm spurts out and makes a mess on your hands. The very small and fleeting look of embarrassment on his feature is almost enough to comfort you. But when there’s barely a sheen of sweat adoring his forehead, unlike you was still recovering, you’re reminded that your husband was different from you.

There are no kisses, no sweet nothings shared between lovers. No stroking your hair or comforting your trembling form as your legs shake. Or even an offer to warm a bath for you, the warm water soothing your body. There’s none of that.

Not even a smile.

“Welcome to the Argece family, wife.”

Instead, all that awaits you is a restless sleep on a bloodied mattress with a husband who left after cleaning himself up.

Which God despises you so much and why?

[caramara3]

Just Friends...? [1]

a Damian Priest x Reader Amani Cove fic

Summary: After a drunken night out, WWE Superstars and estranged friends Amani Cove and Damian Priest wake up to find themselves naked in bed together with no recollection of what happened the night before. They both choose to go on pretending as if nothing ever happened, but soon find out it’s easier said than done, especially when the lines of friendship begin to blur around them…

Warnings: plot, slow burn, angst, language, mature sexual content 18+, ofc, fluff, semi-friends to lovers

Word Count: 2.5k

**Partially Edited and Proofread**

**Interactive**

Notes: Thank y'all so much for reading!! Leave a comment, heart, share, and enjoy the ride!!!

Italic writing signifies an inside thought.

The Playlist | Meet Amani Cove | Amani’s tattoos | Meet the Cast

Chapter 1: The Morning

~Morning after Backlash Puerto Rico~

“Uugh… oww.”

You groaned softly and shifted your body, regretting that decision almost immediately. It’s not like being a wrestler for nearly two decades now, you weren’t used to a little soreness and tension after a match, especially one as rough as last night’s Last Woman Standing match against your current and all-time favorite feud partner/bestie Bayley. 

But Lord was this a different kind of sore. 

Every single muscle in your body felt like they had been stabbed with the tiniest needle ever created while also being set on fire. Your back felt like you’d been thrown through plexiglass over a dozen times. In your mind you made a mental note to have your chiropractor send Bales his thanks for keeping him in business.

“Ow… oww… argh, ow!”

You winced at each small movement as you opened your eyes only to be met with a soft but heavy material. You began to pull it from over your head and was immediately met with the morning sun shining its insanely bright ass through the hotel window.

“Ah, oh God! Absolutely not!”

You grimaced and pulled the material back over your face, sinking deeper and deeper into the fluffy fortress as you waited for the throbbing pain in your head to subside. 

Great, you thought to yourself. Sore and hungover: the perfect combination. 

You laid your head flat against the mattress as you tried to remember the events of last night. But as you did everything felt like a jumbled and confusing blur. Tequila is an evil bitch from the depths of hell…

You remembered leaving the arena and catching a ride back to the hotel with Zelina as well as getting ready with her to go out for the night to celebrate. You remembered spending way too long trying to find the perfect look, something that screamed "newly single and looking for revenge" before Zelina pulled out a khaki little cutout number from your suitcase that screamed "freak'em dress."

You remembered pre-gaming with Zel and the guys from LwO downstairs at the hotel bar before catching a cab into the city. You remembered, though you wish you didn't, the phone call on the way to the club with your lying, cheating bastard of an EX-fiancé Marcus Frost and informing him that he had 3 days to clear his things out of your home before you had the locks changed.

Fuck you Marcus…

You remembered getting to the club late and having shots immediately pushed in your face by Bianca, the mere thought making your stomach queasy. You remembered being pulled onto the dancefloor by Cruz and Carlito. Or wait, maybe it was Carmelo. Or was it Santos? Maybe Knight?? You remembered when your best friend Rhea Ripley finally showed up along with the other members of The Judgment Day. More shots. You remembered kicking your shoes off somewhere on the dancefloor because the DJ was on one, playing banger after banger. Was this when Finn was dancing with you?? But wait, was this before or after Sami kept stepping on your foot while you tried to teach him how to salsa?

More shots. You danced atop the bar with Samantha, Bianca, & Zelina like some bad Coyote Ugly remake and damn near slipped off. More shots. You got cheered on in the ladies room by your girls and others as they recorded you flushing your engagement ring down the toilet. Again, fuck you Marcus. More dancing. Even more shots. There was some random local who reeked of cheap tequila that kept grinding on you on the dancefloor and trying to cop a feel, you remembered that. You also remembered him getting snatched up by both Damian Priest and Finn Balor.

And after that happened you remembered... pulling Damian onto the dancefloor and dancing with him? Why the hell would you do that?

Or was it some other outrageously tall good-looking guy who resembled a younger Undertaker but Puerto Rican and from the Bronx…? 

Even more dancing. 

Shots. Shots. Shots. 

Ugh, god why did I keep letting Rhea feed me all those damn shots? I swear I’m gonna kill her next time I see her. But how did I get back to the hotel?  

Suddenly a flash of a memory appeared through the blurry fog of your mind. Lights. You remembered lights, streaks of gold and white hues racing past you. Was this from the time when you were in the cab? You wrapped yourself in the memory, hoping more would come back.

Touch. You remembered hands; rough and calloused with the softest touch brushing against your skin and pulling you onto their lap. Their touch traveling up from your neck down your open back before resting on your bottom, kneading your ass firmly. Caressing your skin as if it had been made of silk.

Taste. You could still taste his lips on yours. You felt as they traveled up your neck to your earlobe, nibbling on that tender spot that made you weak in the knees. Brushing against your shoulder, along your collarbone, between the valley of your breasts, softly biting your nipple, trailing down your stomach… the action sending vibrations up and down your body.

Sound. A deep and foreboding voice in your ear, whispering the dirtiest things you could ever imagine, you softly moaning against his chest as his fingers… his fingers…

“Ugh.”

Just like that the memory is gone, leaving you even more frustrated but also turned on. What and who did this to you? You groan softly and go to rub your temples, a wave of nausea washing over you as the after effects of your night out begin to hit you for the first time since waking up. You couldn't remember the last time you’d gotten this drunk. Yes you could, two years ago during the weekend that Marcus proposed. He had booked this gorgeous resort in Barbados for the two of you with a private pool overlooking the beach. The night he'd asked you, the two of you had gotten so drunk you ended up running down to the beach, stripping down to nothing but your bra and panties, jumped into the ocean & then the two of you…

Your eyes widened instantly at the thought, your heart drop down to your stomach.

Oh. Oh god no… Amani Jade please tell me you didn’t…

That nausea from earlier began to creep up once again. You knew you had to look, but you didn’t want to. After a few moments, several deep breaths, and inner monologue pep talks, you psych yourself up just enough to do it. You released a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and slowly lifted the comforter and gazed down at your body.

Fuck. Me.

It was bad enough that you were as naked as the day you came into the world, but from the look of things, whatever you got into last you had a pretty good time doing it. Your eyes moved down your body, navigated by the trail of small purple marks decorating your lower half. There was one just above your collarbone and one dead center between the valley of your breasts, thankfully blending into your sternum tattoo. One hiding just under your left nipple, two on your stomach, two or three up the side of your hip bone just near your tattoo, and several scattered along your inner thighs.

Shit, shit, shit. What the fuck Ani? You’ve only been newly single for all of three days and this is how you decide to celebrate? By getting shit faced and letting some random dick cover you in hickies?!?!

You ignored your body practically screaming for you to be still and move into a seated position in the bed, hand raised to shield you from any amount of sunlight creeping in. A soft hiss left your mouth as your bare back pressed against the cold wooden headboard. On sheer instinct you grabbed the sheet from the bed and pulled it up to cover your body. 

Oh, now we wanna be modest. It’s a little too late for that don’t you think?

You looked over to your left, expecting to find your phone on the nightstand charging, alongside your iPad with the light purple leather cover and your glasses. But your phone’s not there, neither is your purple leather covered iPad or your glasses.

Oh no. No no no no...

You looked around the room, a quiet gasp leaves your mouth upon the realization: this was not your room. 

In fairness, after spending nearly two decades on the road there gets a point where all the hotels room you've stayed in all begin to blend together. But no matter what you were always, ALWAYS, able to tell which was your room and which wasn’t. And this was NOT your room. None of your things were here. Your gym bag with your backup ring gear for last night wasn’t laid out on the couch near the window. Your laptop wasn’t sitting open on the desk just as you had left it before leaving. There was no makeup or various hair products stretched out along the top of dresser, and your lavender carry-on and backpack wasn't not tucked away in the corner by the settee. 

This wasn’t your room. It was the same hotel, but a completely different room. What you did notice was your purse, your dress and your heels from last night alongside a very large set of men’s clothes creating a trail starting at the door and led towards the foot of the bed.  

You also couldn’t help but notice that there were not one… 

not two… 

BUT THREE shiny, reflective, and OPEN gold foil packets tossed along the ground and nightstand.

Three? Goddamn Ani… I mean, at least you were safe right? That has to count for something… right?  

You groaned and brought your knees up to your chest, placing your head atop them as you tried yet again to remember what happened last night.

Come on Ani, I need you to think. What exactly happened from leaving the club to getting back to the hotel that got you here? How did you get back? Who did you ride with?? Please tell me he was at least hot and very well-endowed. 

Stadium. Club. Dancing. Shots. Bye bye ring… blank space.

Stadium. Club. Dancing. Shots. Bye bye ring… nothing.

Stadium. Club. Dancing. Shots. Bye bye ring… nada.

“Ugh. This is a nightmare.”

This wasn’t like you, you were not this kind of girl. Sure, you had a couple hookups here and there in your early twenties, but you outgrew that! You were a grown-up now, and grown-ups don't do nothing so crazy that you can’t remember it the next day! And they especially don’t hook up with random strangers while technically on a goddamn work trip!! 

Through all the emotional and mental chaos currently going on in your mind, you felt a sense of heaviness across your pelvis. For the first time since waking up you noticed the very large, very muscular, and very tatted arm stretched across your stomach. The sound of soft snores filled the once quiet room, like a faint rasp blending seamlessly with the stillness of the moment. You took a breath, held it, and slowly turned your head to the left. You couldn't see a face, rather a large figure sleeping peacefully, engulfed in the warmth of the hotel linen. 

You went to move your hand to remove the blanket, a low grumble stopped you dead in your tracks. The body under the blanket suddenly shifted and turned over on their side, their back now completely facing you, and settled after a few seconds. You froze and waited for a few seconds for the sound of soft breathing to know they were still asleep. You hadn’t the slightest idea what you would say to if he were. It had been a long time since you’d had a one-night stand and weren’t really sure if the rules were still the same. 

Do you start with a “hi” or “Good Morning random dude?” Do you thank Mr. Random Dick for the sex? Could you possibly try and sneak out before they wake up?? Like, what was the standard practice and protocol here??

Once you were absolutely sure he was asleep you gripped the blanket and slowly pulled it away, revealing your mystery dick and his giant back. You gasped loudly and practically jumped up off the bed and right onto the plush carpeted floor, landing hard on your ass with a heavy thud.

“Ah, son of a bitch!” you shrieked, wincing at the pain of the impact.

You ignored the immediate pain and sprung up to peek over the bed, your eyes peering over the edge of the mattress as Mr. Random Dick on the bed started to wake up. He groaned and moaned, stretching his body out as if he’d just been awoken from a long deep hibernation. You couldn’t move, all you could do was sit there like a weirdo, buck naked on the carpet watching him. He sat up and stretched yet again, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. You watched as every single muscle on his back spasmed and flexed from the movement.

But your eyes were fixated on just one thing: his back. His back had looked like he’d gone ten rounds with a mountain lion and lost. Indents in the shape of crescents decorated the back of his shoulders while the sides of his back were painted in streaks of pink and red. Some welts looked like the result of being hit with something multiple times, others looked like the result of fingernails being dragged down his skin. But your eyes couldn't help but keep going to the giant piece of art that was etched into the center of his back.

From afar someone could easily mistake it as just a standard skull tattoo, but up close it revealed something more. The skull made way for the inside art, resembling that of a dark grim reaper.

You’ve seen that grim reaper before. Many times in fact.

I mean why wouldn’t you? After all, the two of you worked together.

And up until about ten months ago, you had considered him to be one of your closest and dearest friends.

His eyes began to open and you quickly ducked your head back down, pressing your back to the carpet and covering your face with your hands like that would actually hide you in this moment.

This was a joke. This had to be a joke.

Some sick, twisted, perverted version of a prank that the universe was playing on you. Of all the men in the world you could have slept with, all the random dick being slung around desperately begging to be some woman's drunken mistake... why did your drunken mistake have to be with him?!?!

The room had gone a little too quiet for your liking so you peeked through your fingers, gasping as his head emerged from over the edge of bed to look down at you. His dark brown eyes widened in shock at you lying on the floor of his room; naked, disheveled, and covered in purple marks. 

“Oh my god-,” he trailed off, the panic and exhaustion seeping to the surface. His voice cracked slightly, the usual confidence he exhumed nowhere to be found.

“Amani?”

You tried to avoid his gaze, but couldn't look anywhere but his eyes. You slowly released the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding all this time, your voice soft and slightly shaky as you spoke.

“Hey Damian.” 

Tag List:

@beibigirl124 @bonni-98 @bossbitch-22 @queencherryberry @blueblazezz @mzv11 @theworldofotps @eringobragh420 @babiidee28 @jstarr86 @madhatterbri @southerngirl41 @abadbitchblogs @retro-rezz-the-est @shamaness11 @damiansgoodgirll @rootedinrevisions @thedeboniardevistation @lavitabella87 @kultklassickiller @chaneajoyyy @yana3sworld @writinglionqueen @gold--gucciempress @sassymox @msbigredmachine @terrortwinunicorn @cookiebelle @flawlessglamazon @wrestlingbabe @adriennegabriella @joy-of-life88 @daniiwrites @glitterquadricorn @lorena26 @ambreignsfan4life @jazzy-tzw @emjayewrites @ramp-it-up @mauvecherie-writes @trippinsorrows @simplymyself29 @beas-mind @disc0fairy @wrestlingprincess80 @misskukinz95

@joannasteez @hotmessexpressssss @queenofthearchitect @queenoftheworldisdead @msnikkimoneypenny @ms-wwe @skyesthebomb @chaneajoyyy

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

It's home cinema manufacturing time! 🏴‍☠️ Gonna put my pirate show on my shelf! (I'm doing an Arts and Crafts Project and I'm making it everyone's problem.)

After seeing how much they cost, I abandoned the idea of getting a Blu-ray writer for now. For the time being, good old DVDs is what it's going to be! My TV is old and not very big, so DVD resolution is gonna be fine.

It's been ages since I last burned a DVD. For the full experience, I'm gonna create nice menus and pretty sleeves for the boxes. Graphic design is my passion! Um.

Well. First needed to find a program to do stuff with. I'm a Linux guy, so I'm using Devede. (Which is free, btw. In case someone else wants to do a low cost spot of putting pirate show on the shelf.)

DVDs fit a maximum of 120 minutes of video. So, four episodes, I thought. But after a quick attempt, the program refused to do more than three (maybe because of the menu also taking up space, and four episodes cutting pretty close to the 120 min mark?). Anyway, three episodes per disc it is. It's a pretty nice runtime for watching the entire disc, IMO. An hour and a half, and then you can return to reality to realise you should probably eat something, or go to bed because it's midnight.

OFMD with its current two seasons has a total of eighteen episodes, which is divisible by three. You get the following setup:

Disc 1: Pilot, A Damned Man, The Gentleman Pirate - That's pretty good, Stede's introduction to piracy all on one disc!

Disc 2: Discomfort in a Married State, The Best Revenge is Dressing Well, The Art of Fuckery - All bangers. Great to watch together, our boys meet and shenanigans happen!

Disc 3: This is Happening, We Gull Way Back, Act of Grace - Many romantic moments, lots of great scenes, shit hits the fan at the end there. Alright!

Disc 4: Wherever you go, there you are, Impossible Birds, Red Flags - ... Pain and angst! What have I done!?! The disc of horrors. Gotta make sure to have tissues at hand when I watch this. But hey, it also has messy bun Ed! Small mercies.

Disc 5: The Innkeeper, Fun and Games, The Curse of the Seafaring Life. - Another disc with all winners. I love all these episodes so much! (You can watch this disc to recover from the trauma of the previous one!) But seriously, this one slaps.

Disc 6: Calypso's Birthday, Man on Fire, Mermen - Great combination again. Season finale! Love and excitement!

... Honestly, except for the psychological damage of putting all the most painful episodes together, this is coming out pretty cool. Says a lot about how good the show is. I actually really love all the episodes (yes even the painful angsty episodes of massive depression). Thinking about this little project really reminded me how much I love this entire show.

So, we got a tracklist, now menus, then we can burn this stuff!

I did the menu backgrounds in GIMP. Realised I have a big folder full of screenshots I took myself, screenshots someone else took and posted on Tumblr, official promo pics for the show, and I have no idea anymore where most of them are from, because I named the files according to what's on them. Which is useful for when you want to find pics (Need a picture of cursed suit Stede? I have files named that, easy peasy!), but not so great if you wanted to give credit to whoever took a given pic you used. (It's probably @sherlockig or @ofmd-ann or @blakbonnet. Please feel credited, your beautiful screens and gifs brighten my day, and some of them are now probably part of my DVD menus. Shrunk down and cropped, but, yeah.)

I originally wanted to structure my menus as having the title of an episode, then some pics from it, then the next episode, then pics from that, and so forth, but I couldn't convince the program to give me the necessary padding between the menu items, so I ended up just putting the episode images below the menu. Still like it.

Anyway, DVD menus can also play sound! Behold a crappy video of my beautiful creation (provided entirely for sound):

It plays Gnossienne N°5!

More crappy pics of my other disc menus:

Gonna make them some nice sleeves next. Some day. Gotta make sure they all work properly first. So. I'll be on my sofa, watching my DVDs. With menus! (Edit: here are!)

[teekays]

hello! if memory serves you are the blog that talked about boy band pretty as a marketing tactic (or something to that effect? the search function does not work so if i’m wrong i’m terribly sorry) and i was wondering if you would be willing to find someone from each team (can include prospects if you want) to create the ultimate nhl boy band. this is not a necessary thing to do, solely shits and gigs and if you ever feel like it doing it. have a lovely day!

HIIIIIII that WAS me and you sent this at the perfect time because i am at the laundromat with time to kill and i LOVE to discuss this.... let's chop it up.... a few disclaimers: this is subjective so don't get mad at me and i will be including prospects and ahl players where i know its applicable BUT for most of these teams i will be going off the main roster + looks alone because if i did a full deep dive vibes analysis on every team's roster and prospects it would take me like two months to answer this ask... you understand. we are being SHALLOW here today in the true spirit of the boy band industry. let's go!!!

carolina hurricanes: i know everyone wants me to say sebastian aho but he is 1) too old 2) too unsettling looking. the elf on the shelf is not boy band pretty im sorry 😭 i do love him but he's just not the vibe here... i will say based on looks either scott morrow or jackson blake and his 90s heartthrob hair. i want to say seth jarvis because he's my special pop pop but that does contradict almost everything i have said previously so i will not be biased but know that if he was a pop star i would be his biggest fan i would kiss his poster. and that's my truth

columbus blue jackets: in the interest of journalistic integrity i went to their roster instead of just saying it's obviously kj as the intimidating aloof one in the boy ("boy") band but actually i do think it's cole sillinger.... teen heartthrob. also i didn't know that he was born in columbus because his dad was playing for the team and his brother is also on the team??? imagine having a whole destiny like that and its for COLUMBUS OHIO 😭

new jersey devils: jack hughes. open and shut case argue with the WALL

new york islanders: NOT MAT BARZAL. HE LOOKS 35. STAND UP LADIES!!! lowkey i do not know any of these dudes and this roster is kind of busted as fuck 😭😭😭 (NOT ANTHONY DUCLAIR who is too old to be a boy band boy but who i do love) bargain bin team... anyway isaiah george YOU! are the only cute person the new york islanders

new york rangers: matt rempe. those pictures of him lounging around on the phone??? wow. no words. diva heartthrob behavior. it's sad what they're doing to him what are we doing to our beautiful queens :(

philadelphia flyers: after much careful deliberation.... i think denver barkey is taking it. denver is such a deeply boy band name tbh he was born for this!!! i know everyone thinks it's jamie (who i still forget is a flyer 😭) but can you imagine him on a stage? singing a song? they are reinventing shoegaze for him. negative star quality (AFFECTIONATE!!!!!!! LOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

pittsburgh penguins: well NOW the obvious answer is rutger mcgroarty... not even worth going through that senior center roster when he's there tbh sorry pens

washington capitals: AGAIN. SENIOR CENTER ROSTER. i had to go to their prospects page to find someone suitable and my vote is patrick leonard he's a cutie!!! also im so sorry to say this but my jaw dropped when i got to this guy why are you playing hockey you need to make a children's album RIGHT NOW. i know he could do a banger cover of the We're going on a bear hunt song. but i digress...

boston bruins: matthew poitras is adorable and exudes star quality NEXTTTT. shoutout also brett harrison who looks like a long lost jonas brother

buffalo sabres: JACK QUINNN JQUIZZY HIMSELF partly for looks mostly for vibes... he has extreme "jack dylan grazer vape apology video" energy and also he has that boyish charm... either him or devon levi (hot) not miss owen power for the same reasons as jamie. she could never be a pop star 😔 ryan mcleod used to be the oilers popstar boy but now he's got too much competition he's a little niche for the title

detroit red wings: my gut tells me simon edvinsson but a look at the roster tells me there is some competition in the form of amadeus lombardi... if we were discussing this two years ago mo seider would be the obvious answer but he's too grizzled now 😔

florida panthers: 🙄 here comes another busted fucking roster... i guess denisenko??? panthers are not really representing here....

montreal canadiens: ARBER <3 he's like the bad boy hottie in the boy band. the one that makes your dad shake his head when he sees him on tv

ottawa senators: wow the atlantic division is fucking WACK this was another case of like. okay i guess ill pick one of yous but REALLY? so congratulations jorian donovan YOU are in the boy band

tampa bay lightning: seriously what is going on in this division. jack finley looks like he was the closeted one in a boy band from the early 2000s but he's aged past that now and he has a husband and a wine brand.... so we will bring him back for nostalgia points. welcome to the team. also i have to be honest i thought of myself as pretty well acquainted with the ahl but the SYRACUSE CRUNCH? that's crazy

leafs: JOSEPH WOLL! boyish charm out the ears on that one. a real cutie

chicago: obviously it's bedard. we all know it's bedard. on the surface he has no charisma but he does have a certain kind of shy boy charm and he IS adorable... he's the one in the boy band who makes your mom tut over him like "he seems like a nice boy"

colorado avalanche: wow huge props to matt stienburg for having maybe the single most boy band roster photo i have seen yet... THIS is the guy they get in the boy band because he's already had huge success with his hit single called like, Heart React Girlfriend or whatever. this is jacob sartorius if he played hockey. this is chase dreams. this kid is going places

dallas stars: it's obviously wyjo, joining the ranks with cbedard as The Nice One <3

minnesota wild: okay i was going to say brock faber because every group needs a kevin jonas (SORRY BROCK) but WHO is kyle masters and why does he look like knockoff brendan brisson. budget briss. diet briss. we have briss at home.

nashville predators: this just reminded me cody glass is a penguin now 💔 anyway the preds have some STRONG contenders here wow.... jeremy hanzel is taking it but i think luke evangelista could pull it off... now if you asked me to be really subjective it would be ozzy wiesblatt who would also be the subject of much poster kissing and rigged "which member of the nhl boy band should you date" tests so i get him as the result but that's just me....

st louis blues: jeremie biakabutuka your radiant smile has charmed me.... welcome to the band....

utah whatevers: MONTANA ONYEBUCHI I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THE SHARKS DIDNT APPRECIATE YOU. BUT WE WILL..... also matt villalta kinda giving off brand kj... you could build a whole off brand version of that umich team just with guys from other teams i bet

winnipeg jets: dylan coghlan you will always be famous to ME but i fear you are a little too old for our purposes here.... other than him they kinda don't have a lot going for them.... brayden yager it is your time to shine as off brand owen power ♥️

anaheim ducks: some strong competition here... tz is the obvious choice but i think we need to think bigger... olen zellwegger please step forward....

calgary flames: matt coronato i am free on thursday if you would like to hang out on thursday when i am free and also join this boy band

edmonton oilers: yet another old ass roster 😭 they're lucky they got so many sabres because matt savoie is saving their asses rn

los angeles kings: angus booth is smizing in every single photo i saw of him so. come on now

san jose sharks: it's so obviously will smith i don't even know what we're doing here tbh

seattle kraken: tye kartye looks like he would be into white water rafting so he can be the nature guy in the boy band.... strong competition from tucker robertson but he's just a touch too gay porn for this vibe

vancouver canucks: JETT WOO... HELLO.... but also shoutout cole mcward for having 2014 gay youtuber phenotype. a connor franta troye sivan type face if ive ever seen one

vegas golden knights: BRISS ‼️‼️‼️ my little tabloid queen... not only is he in the boy band but he's in the news and the media. he was born to be a star. natural ham. child actor energy. alex holtz is also a strong contender for this but i think he's off on his own doing his little pop star solo act thing

this took way longer than laundromat time but it was worth it i had so much fun!!!!! thank you!!!!!!

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 57 Cope Posting

Not like this, dear void... not like this. The blessing/curse of Kagurabachi chapters ending in 7 being absolute banger cliffhangers continues and there is not enough copium in the world to get me through to next week. This entry is an absolute mess...

Let's start with practicing on the editor's comments again. Sorry if the colours are hard to read on brighter backgrounds, I live in Dark Mode as much as possible.

First page: ハクリが飛宗の転送に成功! そ��て- [Hakuri ga Tobimune no tensou ni seikou! Soshite-, Hakuri successfully transfers Tobimune! And then-] Last page: 座村, 漆羽… 事態は混沌へ… [Samura, Uruha... jitai ha konton he..., Samura, Uruha... the situation turns chaotic...] noting that the word used for "situation", jitai (事態), specifically has negative connotations (as opposed to 状況 [joukyou], which is neutral).

These comments are rarely more than fluff just to give the editors some presence in the work itself, so I don't take them as definite indicators of anything going on in the plot. But man. Man. "Bad situation" seems to be putting it lightly. I was ready to take you off the list of possible traitors, Samura! I was seriously going to do it! Whyyyyyyyyyyy

Chihiro and the Pink Menace

Fine, first up... school?

How does our cast stack up to the average student after getting home schooled in murder and cool action poses?

It was obvious to everyone that this arc would involve Chihiro learning about the unpleasant sides of his dad's legacy. So this is just a "hey don't forget" moment for us that also highlights how far removed Hiruhiko and Chihiro are from regular society. Those two (and Hakuri) should be in their last year of high school, complaining about homework or stressing about their future college/job plans right now instead of fighting to the death. Poor guys.

I don't want to presume too much about Hokazono-sensei's views, but I really like directly acknowledging that winners write history and so their wartime cruelty is often downplayed or re-framed as heroism. These kids and even Chihiro only know the revised version of what happened, not the truth of the matter.

Home schooled Chihiro confirmed! Kinda!

Anyway, some more John Plan Reveal. He wants Chihiro to learn the truth about his father's legacy and the impact it's had- that's why he hasn't been "harvested" yet. This implies that there's some terrible thing that could upend Chihiro's entire worldview to be learned. But we kind of already knew that based on everything I just said.

I hope this isn't a flag for John trying to convince Chihiro to join him. There are awful secrets that are going to be unearthed about Kunishige and the Kamunabi this arc for sure, but it's kind of a waste of our time to do the "oooh it was worse than you thought why don't you join us to set things right" rigamarole.

Obviously the Hishaku have some compelling reasons to do all this if they can get someone as loath to kill as Samura on their side to murk his war buddies. It's just never gonna convince Chihiro so I hope we don't get a moralizing yapfest to accompany John's outstretched hand. I trust the writing though! So far it's been almost nothing but excellence so... chill, me. Just wait and see.

I think that no matter what happens Chihiro will continue to forge his own path with allies who care for him at his side. He won't choose the government's path, or the Hishaku's, or even his dad's- he'll create something new. Standard stuff for a shounen series but I never get tired of seeing it!

Before moving on to the coping session, there's something neat in this scene that I want to ramble about:

Local yapper yaps while the guy listening to him literally overthinks

I'll use the JP version if I have to, but I like how Chihiro's inner monologue deliberately overruns Hiruhiko's speech bubble to show that he's not paying full attention while his thoughts are in overdrive. He's still partially listening but he's not quite as composed as he appears to be on the outside, which is confirmed by the close-up zoom into his stressed look with the sweat drops. Yet when we zoom out, he seems a bit more put-together like usual. He's still exhausted from yesterday, man! Really should have rested up... at least the author acknowledges it. (Forced bed rest soon? Hopefully?)

This is how Hiruhiko was able to get the drop on Chihiro. Chihiro's got a lot on his mind and he has trouble focusing, just like Uruha chided him for on the train. His resolve is unshaken but he's still prone to wavering in the moment as he tries to process things. He even misses the fist time Samura's name was mentioned! Clearly Chihiro needs Hakuri or Uruha or someone there to yell encouragement at the right time to stop him from getting lost in his own head. But he's got a lot to think about and work through right now, so it's understandable why he's so stressed out.

Poor Chihiro. He's coming to the conclusions that we, the readers privileged with having weeks IRL to ponder new information, came to long ago. The Master is not treated like a hero but a prisoner, and probably for very, very good reasons. Ones good enough to convince Samura to make a deal with the devil.

What Actually Happened?!

Not all the blades have themes from nature, it seems. Geisha offered many different types of entertainment to guests, from performing music to conversation to serving sake. So now we have the idea behind the name [Swaying Sake]!

First up to delay just a little longer: Kumeyuri power reveal! Seems to be based in some kind of performing arts aesthetic with the geisha that were conjured. Fitting for the guy who wears kabuki eye make-up right? ...And for the next bearer, who interrupted a kabuki performance to pick it up in a theater... I see you and your foreshadowing, Hokazono-sensei.

Fine. I'll admit it. The ending of the chapter makes it crystal clear that Hiruhiko is the new bearer contracted to Kumeyuri by having his origami butterflies come undone as he grasps the hilt in his teeth. Can't even hope it's another case of someone "borrowing" power like Kyora did with the Shinuchi of the bunch.

Magatsumi's the only blade that can be used by someone not contracted to it, hence the extra protections it needed.

So that means... yeah. Uruha's gone. Just like that.

There will be thousands of theories about what exactly happened to Uruha, why Samura made a deal with John, what the details of that deal were- we'll get the truth soon. I'm most interested in the reasoning that ties into Samura's sincere beliefs of killing being an evil act.

The burden of death weighs so heavily on him that he blinded himself in penance. But he's willing to let his own apprentice die -probably even kill him himself!- because of... what? What was so horrible about fighting with the Master and Kunishige's weapons for the good of the nation? What compelled him to help the Hishaku kill the remaining bearers and upend the peace they earned?!

Hey, Samura. Is it really so bad to be called a war hero while being treated like a prisoner in a comfortable government-provided jail facility? Is it so horrible that "alternative facts" pass for real history to bury whatever horrors you witnessed and possibly perpetrated? Is it truly awful to have people willing to die for you despite all the grave sins you've committed? That they're likely completely unaware of thanks to government propaganda and being too young to have witnessed the truth?

...I need those Seitei War flashbacks pronto.

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

Wait a minute. Jail? Even the friggin' onsen?

Yup! The Master's the only one being treated like a dangerous criminal outright, but the 慚箱 [sanso] are just dressed up prisons for the Bearers. The Kamunabi ain't even subtle about it.

慚 [san] - to feel shame 箱 [sou] - box

The government put these guys in specially-constructed (or repurposed) buildings officially referred to as "shame boxes" and told them they couldn't leave. Even the name given to one of them is a bit much! 国獄温泉 [Kokugoku Onsen] translates to:

国 [koku]- country/state/national government 獄 [goku]- jail/prison 温泉 [onsen] - hot spring

Gee, I wonder if Uruha was having a good time at State Prison Hot Springs?

That said, while there may well be some bitterness between the Bearers and the Kamunabi, it's not the main motivating factor for Samura. His is definitely rooted in how they all acted during the war and how guilty he feels now that they're promoted as heroes.

*----------------------------------------------------------------------------*

It looks like Chihiro's being summoned by Hakuri in the very last panel so we might get some perspective on Samura's reasoning next week. Probably no clear answers right away, but at least enough to see if he really was the one who killed Uruha and a bit of insight into why. And to see if Uruha's dead at all... I mean, if we don't see a body... let me be delusional, okay?!

I'm just not able to go all-in on believing Uruha's dead. But it's not because I don't think he actually is... it just doesn't feel real after spending weeks preparing to let go of Samura. Not to mention the tried-and-true tactic of baiting out strong emotions with implied character deaths.

Normally I don't take death foreshadowing like this too seriously in shounen series. I just wait to see if the author is faking me out or not before getting stressed (unless it's Hakuri, in which case I stress responsibly). But Kagurabachi is a series that lured the MC with a child's severed leg and showed two suicide attempts on-screen, one of which was horrifically successful- right in front of someone who was already traumatized too. Hell we lost most of the anti-Kuregumo squad without much fanfare back in the Sojo arc! Only actually showing a child being tortured on-screen is too much, apparently. This series is dark as hell when the author wants it to be and Uruha's death is probably another one of those times.

There's hope in me that Uruha can still come out of this alive just because I like him so much, but I want the author to follow through on his death when it's presented as such an ominously real scenario. All signs point to Uruha being a goner, so don't make it look iron-clad then say "nah" the next chapter with some technicality that we couldn't have known about until the reveal. I would rather lose Uruha in an unexpectedly painful way than be faked out just to get the reaction out of me, y'know? Don't toy with me. Commit to crushing my heart, dammit.

But, God... oh man. I fell for the bait and got stupidly attached to a Bearer in the arc named after killing them. I even knew bad times were coming because of all the levity at the start of the arc but still went on hoping nothing would happen so soon. Laugh at me, I deserve it. I probably helped this manifest by mentioning how awful it would be if Chihiro found out a Bearer died because Hiruhiko was able to contract with one of the blades. Saying "I crave the angst that will come from this situation with every fiber of my being" in a post tag was overkill. It's just:

Author: names the arc after assassinating the bearers

Reader: gets attached anyway

Author: assassinates a bearer

Reader: ╚(•⌂•)╝

Coping Theory

May as well put my two cents in on how it could have gone down while I'm here...

I wonder if he planned to die in the raid instead so it looked like an unavoidable accident, sparing everyone else from the carnage.

This exact sequence- the Makizumi talking about honor in death for saving Samura, and Uruha's words that the Bearer's lives need to be valued above others'- is what solidifies Samura's resolve. This man is filled to the brim with guilt and self-loathing (much like another swordsman we know). He cannot save himself, but... perhaps he can take some equally bad sinners down with him for the greater good. He's not only a mirror for Hakuri, but Chihiro as well- one's resolve to save no matter the cost to one's self, and one's resolve to go to hell for what they believe is right. That's how I'm reading this until we get his own insight on the matter, at least.

It's not a stretch to infer that Samura thinks the Bearers are better off dead in large part due to the powers they command and things that were done during the war. That's still a huge mystery to be unraveled but I mean:

Seeing the bare minimum of Magatsumi in action really drives home how horrific these "heroes" could seem out on the battle field doesn't it? No wonder the clone sorcerer described the Seitei war as "hell on earth". But the public has no knowledge of this. They only got the sanitized version fit for PR purposes and feel-good stories.

The Hishaku seem to be intent on dismantling this image. Perhaps that's how they got Samura on their side? Not sure how the current Bearers dying and giving the Hishaku access to that dreadful power is better than the status quo, but that's something that will become clear with more reveals about the ideology driving the group. Maybe Samura doesn't care so much about the rest of the world and just wants to do what's best for the truth that's been buried under nearly two decade's worth of secrecy.

As to what happened with Uruha... two things come to mind. One I think is more likely, and one I want to cling to until it's ripped away as I sob and beg for just one little bit of comfort.

Most likely, I think Samura and Uruha had an exchange about ideals and the value of their lives. Samura overpowered Uruha per the plan as the "trump card" and that was that.

In delulu land, I want Samura to have been double-crossed. As in he made a deal on the condition that the lives of the people he cared about would be spared, but of course Uruha couldn't be allowed to live. So the Hishaku ensured that he'd die there no matter what. It's a bunk theory since Mr. Hatshaku left once the situation turned against him... maybe incorporate some of the datenseki mind control stuff in there somehow? I don't know. Just let me have this until canon proves otherwise.

Hakuri and Chihiro, Though?! And Miscellaneous Questions

(Ch. 46) I'm not going to be okay for a while and neither are they.

Best boys are really gonna go through it no matter what Chihiro is summoned back to. They'll be in a rough way... not only did they lose Uruha and hand Kumeyuri to Hiruhiko, but Samura betrayed them all... oof. So much for proving themselves to the Kamunabi. They're going to get an earful and be set back in the "negotiations" big time.

No doubt Chihiro will put this burden on his shoulders too, even if no one could have predicted Samura's defection to the enemy. It's his dad's legacy that's causing all this strife right now. He'll be more motivated than ever to unravel the war's true history and I'll be right there with him hoping he doesn't push himself too hard or harshly. The son shouldn't be responsible for the sins his father committed before he was even born. But that's just like, my opinion, man.

Meanwhile...

"I'm still good for it," wheezes the guy with blood gushing out of his nose at an alarming rate.

Hakuri will probably blame himself too. Depending on how things shake out, it could be for anything from accidentally arming a traitor to seeing someone die in front of him again. There's a good chance he'll (temporarily) lose the thing that makes him useful too, so that'll be an extra layer of angst for him to deal with. What value does a broken tool that couldn't fulfill it's one purpose have?

I also wonder what prompted Hakuri to summon Chihiro away from Hiruhiko. He's kind of in rough shape to do it just 'cause he misses his (boy)friend. They have cell phones to communicate with so it seems a bit abrupt to summon him back without checking first. Hakuri's also not the type to impose on someone to protect him. Nor is he the type to drop Chihiro into the middle of a life-or-death situation without a sense of mutual understanding first. So there had to be some kind of pressing need. The timeline of events means he's summoning Chihiro right after Uruha was killed, so... more soulmate stuff maybe? Their souls call out to each other and resonate when they're in distress, after all (it's canon baybeeeeee). They're in perfect harmony and all that. Sorry for the shipping nonsense I just need any bit of fluff I can get right now.

So many questions that might not get answered...

What about the Makizumi? Will they defect to serve Samura? Or will they try to help get Hakuri to safety with the Kamunabi? Samura doesn't want to kill them at all so no matter what happens they'll live at least. Hooray an elite squad that didn't bite the dust... (I think they will choose Samura because of everything he did for them).

How did Hiruhiko know when Kumeyuri was usable anyway?! Was it some signal from his mystery supporter that was lurking outside the window? And who was that- did Worst Jeanist show up?

Samura's loath to kill innocents, but does Hakuri count as one? Would losing his sorcery be enough to count him as neutralized for the Hishaku's purposes? Was exhausting Hakuri the main reason why Hiruhiko sent all the forces to the temple in the first place?

Hiruhiko wasn't surprised to see Tobimune disappear, so the Hishaku probably know about Hakuri's power. Their mole within the Kamunabi should get a bonus for the turnaround time on learning that bit of info and sending it on. Unless John's playing 5D chess and knew about Hakuri's awakening and team-up with Chihiro before they even met the Kamunabi anyway... perhaps even orchestrated it too... that would definitely need a very good explanation.

Alright. Okay. Let's wait on tenterhooks together, dear void. No waterworks until they show the body, got it?

[sob]

[bluginkgo]

Another Nuzi rant. Don't mind me

Spoilers, duh

Since I've already done a quick character study/nuzi rant from N's side. Here's one from Uzi's side!

This is probably gonna be just me repeating things people have already said... again. But I love Uzi. (Just like every other character in Murder Drones, honestly.) But Liam did a wonderful job of making an angsty, emo girl, borderline maniac that we know as Uzi. Her character, to me at least, never became the annoying overdramatized and overused stereotype that follows her style. She has real reasons for being the way she is.

A loner, whose dad loves nothing but doors. School is not different, as her classmates pretty much forget about her existence on a day to day basis. No one to talk to, no one to connect with, gives her the angsty side that I absolutely adore. Because underneath all of that toughness is just a lonely little drone who was left by herself since early age. But guess who comes in and busts down those walls (literally and figuratively)?

Our good boi N! Despite their rough start, N never really gave Uzi a reason not to trust him. Their chance encounter, and a broken sensor, allowed them to have the talk that might have never happened. Their beginning might have been a lucky accident, but for the rest of the season, we can see how both sides had to work to make well... Nuzi work!

For Uzi, asking for help is like asking for a death sentence probably. After being on her own for so long, she doesn't expect anyone to help. With that information in mind, the first time she let's that wall crumble was episode 2, Heartbeat.

"Uzi, shoot! Or give it to me!"

Granted, we all know that was not our N. But in that moment, when Uzi was in an enough distressed state, she sought help in N. We all know how that ended, though. Absolute Solver took advantage of that and almost killed her, before N once again sweeped in to save her. The one and only notorious Nuzi misunderstanding was, for better or for worse, cleared up pretty quickly. Seeing as glitchproduction only has so much money at their disposal, they can't really drag this ordeal out. Personally, I'm glad that it didn't. The long drama that is just a misunderstanding after misunderstanding gets quite tedious to follow.

So, moving forward in The Promening, Uzi once again seeks out N when she's in distress. When she sees and hears about what Doll and Lizzy were gonna do, she books it to the only person she knows can help her.

N! Now don't get me wrong. Uzi, by herself is plenty strong. She's shown off her fighting and capabilities, and would have probably been able to take V on. She's taken J down before, aaaand Uzi does technically also take V down in Cabin Fever. But she still went out of her way to go find N. So they could work together and get this mess sorted out.

And then there's this. God I love Cabin Fever, and surprisingly no, not for the Falling.... for you? scene. No, I loved the entire Uzi going on murder spree because she can! The music was such a banger too. But back to Uzi. She recognizes V and briefly snaps back to her usual self. Curious isn't it? N and Uzi both tried reaching out to V, but because V is so untrusting (and we all understand why from ep 5, Home). Here Uzi tried to ask V for help... in form of N.

I find it interesting how ever since Uzi met N and V, she's been getting better at asking for help. Sure, V shot her down because, once again, V was scared. Uzi was turning into the monster that only Cyn has been capable of creating. This soon leads to N yeeting Uzi into the f*cking stratosphere and the two have a chat.

I love how the animators included Uzi hiding behind her bat wings.

Her metaphorical walls were back up. And guess who broke them yet again.

The bestest boi N! And ever since this moment, N and Uzi are way more open.

Episode 5 was taking place in N's memories. But episode 6 is where their trust and care shines. Yeah, sure, there was the hand holding. And it was a big moment! But I enjoyed the little things more. Uzi checking in on N, nodding at his little comments and jokes.

Summary: I love Nuzi. Send help they're on my mind 24/7.

[sigilcatt]

your last fic is a BANGER, hope you dont mind if i also slide up w a request 🙏

i saw that you write for phighting.,,. maybe something with subspace catching feelings for a coworker reader?

YES np!!

Subspace x Coworker!Gn!reader (hcs) (takes place before that whole thing between Subspace and Medkit)

When you first showed up at the lab, Subspace rarely payed you any mind.

Besides the excruciatingly frequent banter he just loved to start with you, that is. He saw you the same way he saw Medkit: in the way and of no importance to him.

After all, he could do this job himself! He’d been doing great so far!

That mentality didn’t seem to last long, however.

Eventually, Subspace catches onto the faint idea that he just might like you more than he lets on.

No one would ever really think of him as romantic or affectionate, but that changes when it comes to you.

It starts with him feeling like his day was just a bit better when you greeted him in the mornings, that same warm, beaming smile on your face as you waved a hand at him.

At first, he denies such feelings and tries to focus on his work more. But when he realizes he can’t get you out of his head, he decides to face it head on.

Then after some time passes he’s suddenly presenting you with various gifts the very second he sees you. (These gifts only being created by him, of course, as he is an extremely prideful demon.)

Ever wanted your own Zeta biograft? Well you’ve got one now!

Then, that evolves into him showering you with compliments and praises when noticing the things you’ve created yourself.

If it’s just the two of you alone, he’s mainly comedic and throwing around jokes about Medkit behind his back. (or right in front of him, he doesn’t care.)

“Glad I’ve got you here, now I’m not the only smart one!!”

“It’s been forever since I’ve spoken to someone with a brain for once. Isn’t that right, ‘Kit?”

Only to have Medkit glare daggers at him in response.

He’d make requests for you to join him, whether that be in late-nights in the lab or Phighting! During Phights, he asks that you stick by him, mostly so that he can show off to you.

But if you’d prefer to just spend time building late at night, he’s happy with that, too. Not like he got much sleep, anyways.

He was known for boasting about his accomplishments, but having you partner up with him was something he’d never shut up about.

“I was definetly gonna win, especially with Y/N here!”

Even though you two aren’t offically dating, he still got pretty upset if anyone else were to make advances on you, mainly sending them away with passive-agressive remarks.

If he’s lucky, you’ll say yes when the eventual day comes when he asks to date you.

I wanted to write more but its 3AM at the time of writing this and i’m finally getting tired - first time writing for Subspace, so this might not be the best but still wanted to get it out :3

[best-overplayed-song]

As someone who never understood the hype around Take Me To Church and keeps forgetting that song even exists, can I ask the fans what exactly it is you like about that song? Because my current hypothesis is that yall were around 14 when it came out and music just hits different when you're 14. What else is there to like, genuinely

I try to stay unbiased here but Hozier is one of the only musicians I allow myself to be pretentious about, so before i info dump about why i love take me to church here's some other hozier songs you should give a shot:

francesca [i'd go through hell again just to hold you one more time], nina cried power [song about activism and black activists], swan upon leda [about the violence of colonialism, misogyny, and religious bigotry], eat your young [about the violence of war, capitalism, and generational trauma], movement, to noise making (sing), shrike, NFWMB [sexy], sunlight

anyway take me to church is so much more than just “loving you is like church”. he starts off by telling us how happy his lover makes him, despite constantly being told by The Church he was born sick and his happiness is a result of sinful behavior. he rejects the religion being forced on him, because unlike christianity, his church doesn't force him to accept absolution to reach heaven ("my church offers no absolutes / she tells me, 'worship in the bedroom' / the only heaven I'll be sent to / is when i'm alone with you"). the last two lines of the first verse-- "i was born sick, but i love it / command me to be well"-- questions why a god would create us to be inherently sick only to punish us for being sick.

i see the the chorus as a smart-ass comparison of his relationship to christianity. The Church expects him to blindly worship their lies and confess his sins, which he knows will be used against him ("take me to church / i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies / i'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife"), but he's supposed to accept this and devote his life to God so he can get to heaven ("offer me that deathless death / oh good god, let me give you my life"). by offering to do this for his lover, he's equating their love to religion.

in the second verse, he reiterates that he worships his lover with a metaphor ("if i'm a pagan of the good times / my lover's the sunlight"). the subtle remark of referring to the ancient practice of paganism as "the good times" comments on the colonization and forced conversion of ireland by christian england, which criminalized paganism. immediately after stating how his lover demands a sacrifice, he hungrily eyes the high horse The Church sits on, and questions what power they have over him and his people ("that's a fine lookin' high horse / what you got in the stable? / we've a lot of starving faithful"). this could also be a reference to the irish potato famine, which was not a result of drought, but of english lords forcing the irish to turn over their entire crop to send to england.

then we get the most poetic description of sex i've ever heard: "no masters or kings when the ritual begins / there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin / in the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene / only then, i am human / only then, i am clean". fuck man

a lot of gay people with religious trauma love this song bc of everything i described above. also, it's a fuckin banger.

and yes i was 14 when it came out. what about it

[natalieh007]

Okay I am so into Camus and Sartre beef. So this is a little recap.

So Sartre was Marxist and Camus was not (he was in communist party but he got the fuck out as fast as he could). Also another problem Sartre believed that violence and wars could create greater good, on the other side Camus was all about a peace.

So they were friends (and rivals) for a while and then their different opinions started to show up. Then an argument broke out, but was initially confined to a relatively small group of mutual friends of the two of them. THEN Camus wrote a letter in which he wrote "hell is other people", it was kinda easy to imagine that he was referring to Sartre.

‘Absolute freedom is the right of the strongest to dominate,’ Camus wrote, while ‘absolute justice is achieved by the suppression of all contradiction: therefore it destroys freedom.’ The conflict between justice and freedom required constant re-balancing, political moderation, an acceptance and celebration of that which limits the most: our humanity. ‘To live and let live,’ he said, ‘in order to create what we are.’

That is what Camus wrote in The Rebel and Sartre was like “EWWWW” not very communist of Camus (as far as Sartre was concerned, he thought that it was possible to achieve perfect justice and freedom – that described the achievement of communism. Under capitalism, and in poverty, workers could not be free. Their options were unpalatable and inhumane: to work a pitiless and alienating job, or to die. But by removing the oppressors and broadly returning autonomy to the workers, communism allows each individual to live without material want, and therefore to choose how best they can realise themselves. This makes them free, and through this unbending equality, it is also just. THE PROBLEM is that, for Sartre and many others on the Left, communism required revolutionary violence to achieve because the existing order must be smashed.) And they were close friends at that time so instead of, I guess, TALK IT OUT like Sartre telling Camus „you know what ? I think the rebel was shit” and Camus being like „okay you epitome of hell” or just being like „we don’t have to agree on everything”, Les Temps Modernes – Sartre’s journal (it was edited by him) PUBLISHED LIKE FEW MOTHS AFTER THE LETTER a critical review of The Rebel - sold out three times over. And like it was year 1951 in which Sartre published just one work and it wasn’t successful BUT THE REWIEW FOR SURE WAS (Sartre’s diss track could be banger)

Anyways then Sartre wrote a public letter about Camus. He wrote that their friendship wasn’t easy but he’s gonna miss it AND THAT Camus is philosophically incapable ??

And that was a final straw so they never spoke to each other again.

BUT 15 years after Camus’s death Sartre was asked about their friendship AND Sartre said that Camus was probably his last good friend.

My conclusion is that if they were alive they would love mean girls (don’t ask me why.)

In case u didn’t read The Rebel or you don’t remember, in the book, Camus gave voice to a roughly drawn ‘philosophy of revolt’. This wasn’t a philosophical system per se, but an amalgamation of philosophical and political ideas: every human is free, but freedom itself is relative; one must embrace limits, moderation, ‘calculated risk’; absolutes are anti-human. Most of all, Camus condemned revolutionary violence. Violence might be used in extreme circumstances (he supported the French war effort, after all) but the use of revolutionary violence to nudge history in the direction you desire is utopian, absolutist, and a betrayal of yourself.)

[freakymoonlitsakura]

Dr playlist!!!!

since I've seen a lot of people share songs they relate to their dr recently, I thought I'd share mine

may be a little cringe.. but I like it and it makes me happy so idgaf

I associate each song with either a single person, a pair or the whole group :3

Notion - Kiera

This whole song I relate to my personal shifting journey. Its really hard to explain how I connect it to her specifically though

It Almost Worked - Also Kiera lol

(Suicide TW) she did NOT attempt. She may have thought about it but she ultimately didnt - she did, however, will the entire thing into existence as a way of escapism (I may have been a little influenced by shifting when I created her lmao) (TW over :))

Sweet Hibiscus Tea - Guess who... Kiera!!!

Also really hard to explain. But her voice is really similar to the singer in this song so I like it

Ancient dreams in a Modern Land - The whole group, mostly Kiera and Nirin

Its been said before, but this song is so shifting core. So its there for that reason as well as there are separate lyrics that I associate with other people, but there's a lot to that so I'll explain it in a different post if this one gets enough interest :3

Kilby girl - Shiza

Shiza is very secretive about herself, and she fits the description of nose ring, fake id and good at lying. Theres a guy who likes her, but she's demiro/sex so it takes her a while to feel the same

Relax - The whole group ^^

This song matches the vibe of the place real nicely - laid back, everyone is comfortable and its a safe space for them.

I'd rather sleep - She's backk!! Kiera returns

She would rather sleep

Kids - Nirin

Uhhh the lyrics are pretty self explanatory i think >.<

HEAVEN AND BACK - Kiera (shocking)

If you replace the drugs with shifting it fits lol. This song is one of two that I have banger animations in my head to (ADiaML is the other one)

Unsweetened lemonade - Sakura

really really hard to explain again

The water is fine - Shiza

She's blood/the rivers daughter (Assassins daughter) (if that makes sense..) and the guy is water. He's really scared of her lifestyle when he finds out, but before he had no clue (but both feel the same when your eyes are closed) and after a while he calms down (the waters fine) I hope this makes sense lmao

We are the people - the whole group again

its just so.. shifting core. Also matches the vibe in a similar way that Relax does :3

Kiera IS my s/o so the amount of songs she has makes sense

[kamotecue]

that’s my girl ✧ c. grant

pairing: charli grant x reader

summary: y/n l/n was a mystery to everyone, the australian field hockey star was very private about her life. however, they knew that her heart has been stolen by charli grant.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

you were now on a flight going to australia, you had just won this year’s women’s oceania cup. the gold medal was hung around your neck, as you softly tapped the airplane’s table tray.

your team’s captain, kaitlin looked at you in amusement. you had missed your girlfriend after all, even though you saw her like last week.

“yes, cap?” you looked at her as she just shrugged with a soft smile.

“can’t wait to see your girlfriend, can you.” she commented as you chuckled at her words.

“i missed her after all.” she hummed, you were the youngest in the team being born in 2003.

“young love.” the skipper teased, as you softly shoved her. she had taken you under her wing when you made your debut for the senior team.

“oh, come on cap.” you sighed at her childish behavior, but she just held her hands up before quitting the teasing, which you were thankful for.

you were a bit knackered from the flight, but you were thankful that her parents made their way out to pick you up from the airport before heading to the game.

yes, you went straight to the semi-final’s match. was it a bad idea? considering that you were lacking sleep, it was. but it was worth it, it wasn’t something you wanted to miss, the matildas have created history for their country.

you had entered the stadium gaining attention from a few hockey-soccer fans, they stared at you in awe knowing your team’s recent win. the medal around your neck was proof of it, you had forgotten to take it off but it didn’t matter.

the kick off was starting soon, so you gave them soft smiles before heading to the family and friends section.

throughout the game, you were at the edge of your seat. the game was quite physical but it was expected seeing as this match would determine who would move to the finals.

you looked at the bench to see charli giving you a soft smile, before turning back to the field to concentrate.

the whistle had blew, signaling the end of the game. the game ended with england winning, it was 3-1. sam kerr, the matildas captain scored a banger of a goal in the 63rd minute, but it wasn’t enough to catch up to england.

you watched as the matildas looked a bit crestfallen, they wanted to bring home the trophy. the stadium had played strawberry kisses by nikki webster making you chuckle, the song had been stuck on your mind ever since it has been trending on tik tok.

as the matildas ended their lap around the pitch, a few went to the family and friends section, including charli. she wrapped her arms around you, as you gave her a shy smile.

“i missed you, baby.” charli said, as you hummed.

“i missed you, too.” she pulled away from the hug to only give you soft kisses on your jaw.

“i heard you also won with the team, send my regards to them.” charli said, as she gave you a wide smile. you nodded, pulling over the gold medal before placing it around her neck.

“y/n!” kyra yelled, as she ran before jumping. you caught her as charli laughed at her behavior. you looked ahead to see katrina looking at the two of you with a soft smile, but your attention was brought to harper.

“harps!” you said, placing kyra down as she laughed. harper had ran to you, gently hugging you as you bent to her level.

“that’s my girl.” you heard charli’s voice, as kyra laughed. you two, as kyra would say ‘a match made in heaven’. she was happy that her friend found someone to take care of her, and she was glad that it wasn’t anyone else.

[cbk1000]

So what exactly is it about Merlin and Arthur that make them so ship-worthy, sparking million-word fanfics? Why does it remain one of the most popular fandoms? Why do you never seem to tire of them as a writer? (Not that I am complaining or anything. I just find the loyalty fascinating considering how much new stuff is coming out every day).

Bradley and Colin and their chemistry together as performers certainly is an important aspect of the popularity of that specific ship, but I think the endurance of the Merlin fandom as a whole is due primarily to two main things, which are: that tragic ending, and the unrealised potential of the show.

The primary consensus amongst Merlin fans if you ask them about a piece of media they're still obsessing over, twelve years after it ended, is, "BBC Merlin is terrible; it's so good." The premise and characters are interesting. There are some absolute banger lines. There are bits and pieces of it that are good. But as a whole, it's a muddled piece of trash (I still love you, BBC Merlin, don't worry). Uther is a tyrant who has committed literal genocide, and they make the main villain a woman who is a part of the oppressed class of people that he's indiscriminately murdering. Women in general get to be one of two things: love interest, or moustache-twirling villain. Arthur grows as a person only for the writing to immediately walk back that growth, usually for a cheap joke. The major narrative arcs, the most familiar, identifiable aspects of Arthurian legend in the cultural consciousness (Lancelot, the love triangle, the fall of Morgana, Mordred's betrayal, etc.) are either barely present (see: Lancelot's two seconds of screentime) or completely devoid of believable character motivation (see: Mordred suddenly turning on Arthur because he executes a woman who committed terrorism who it turns out was someone Mordred knew as a kid and completely forgot about till the moment he saw her in her jail cell).

When something is, in some ways, quite good, and in a lot of other ways, hot garbage, it leaves a wide-open sandbox for fans to play in. I think if the show were much more well-written, and consistently so, the fandom would have died out years ago. But instead, we never saw the Golden Age of Camelot. We never saw Albion united. We never saw Merlin and Arthur reunited. We were left, at the end, with one main character dead, and the other centuries later still waiting for a person the show literally describes as his other half to come back to him. People haven't moved on because they spent five seasons watching a silly, stupid family show to see its main character fail at what he was literally prophesied to achieve and hold his best friend while he died. We don't even know for sure in the end that Arthur came back to him. We see Merlin alone, in modern day, at the lake, still waiting for him, with no indication that Arthur is rising again. And for people watching the show as it aired, the BBC delivered this nut punch on Christmas Eve.

I think it's about what the show didn't do, and the space that creates for fans to come in and do it themselves, over and over again.

Also, personally, I'm trying to self-soothe.

[vyl3tpwny]

You inspired me to get back into Bangarang era Skrillex without shame in my heart and to embrace the (harmless) cringe in my soul. As well as seek out other lesser known artists who keep up that sound. So, thanks!

real talk i have been making music for almost two decades now. when i first heard skrillex's music i instantly knew it was amazing. but i couldn't really express why. as i've gotten older, spent lots and lots of time making music and learning about music and researching, a lot of things i used to adore don't impress me like when i first heard them. but even all this time later, skrillex's music — past and present — is incredible and untouchable. i think a lot of casual listeners do not realize just how flawless, complex, and perfectly executed his sound design and ideas are across the board. the best thing you can do when listening to skrillex's music is just pick out ONE single sound and ask yourself "how did he create this sound? how do you go about creating this sound from scratch". the casual listener rarely considers a question like this, but when you ask this about nearly anything skrillex makes, even if you can fathom an answer it's still the most mindblowing thing in the world.

but sound design is not everything either. i got sucked into the soundcloud community around 2016 or so. to any of my soundcloud classmates, peers, and alumni, hey how are you doing <3 but the soundcloud scene of 2016-2019 was a VERY specific beast. a lot of the music that emerged during the scene's height was this idea that sound design is always more important than anything else. so you would have tons and tons and tons of songs that came out that had crazy sound design ... but not much else. this goes back to skrillex's music. skrillex's sound design isn't just complex, but it's also executed with amazing songwriting. it isn't just a tech fest, he's making amazing songs, perfectly accessible, with incredible sound design as the foundation rather than the only thing the music has to offer. for a while i think i had been so swept up by the soundcloud scene that i rlly ignored songwriting in favour of sound design, like i had to choose.

that is to say, skrillex's music has been and will always be a pinnacle of what "festival EDM" should be evaluated as in standard. i've already done my share of criticizing skrillex for how he butchered "dubstep", and i'm not going to ever pretend that such criticism does not exist. but regardless, EDM is an extremely saturated genre which has caused lots of people to hate or misunderstand it. i think if people focused more on making strong songs and not tunnelvisioning on one aspect of the music, EDM would be more compelling to more people, beyond just 'sounding good' or 'being a banger'.

scary monsters and nice sprites, the song, is a really good song. it has a pretty standard arrangement and flow, but moment to moment it's always interesting and full. the production is so ridiculously clean and dynamic but does not skimp out on making shit sound beefy and deep as well. but what a lot of people don't realize is that the sound design on that song is so incredible, that in a lot of music spaces, it's considered a holy grail to whoever fully reverse engineers the growls in scary monsters. for over 10 years now, there have been dedicated skype groups, discord servers, youtube streams, and forum threads on people literally dedicating portions of their music making lives to trying to understand JUST the scary monsters growls alone. what makes it so elusive is that it's likely done with the FM8 synth and trying to reverse engineer more than 2-3 operators on an FM synth is literally a death sentence. skrillex himself probably couldn't remake it from scratch, only create something similar doing the moves he would do in FM8. but the scary monsters growls are literally a holy grail and people are STILL working in small community pockets to figure out how it was done, 14 years after the album came out.

[poetzproblem]

I am so with you on the Agatha All Along brainrot. What are some of your favorite headcanons about the show and/or Agatha and Rio's relationship?

This got very long, so apologies. I'm hiding it all under that cut and also recommending that you go read creator, you destroy me by velvetprayer if you haven't already. It more or less matches my own personal headcanon about the Agatha/Rio past, though her version of Lady Death might be a little gentler overall than I imagine her to be - although fully as angst ridden.

My winded rambling as follows:

So, I’ll preface this all by saying that I’m not really deep into Marvel lore. I only know any of it through the cinematic universe, but I can’t say I’ve ever watched the entire filmography, I did watch Loki and Wandavision, and I obviously fell in love with Agatha from that. I did a rewatch after the first episode of Agatha All Along dropped to refresh my memory, and it helped me form a headcanon for her, though there are some pretty big missing pieces that I haven’t quite worked out, mostly due to the incomplete backstory in AAA and Marvel’s general monkeying up of timelines between their television projects. (The Darkhold was an entire plotline on Agents of Shield, but WV and AAA both imply Agatha has had that book for a significantly long time.) 

So before I go too deep into character headcanon, I will say that I mostly loved AAA. I think it was well written overall with so much foreshadowing and so many easter eggs that really make rewatching the episodes a joy. I appreciated the practical effects, and the song was a banger in every version. I will admit to being a little disappointed that the Road wasn’t real all along but a pocket dimension created by Billy, though I did just enough research about him to know it was one of his powers and saw the speculation about that twist being talked about, so I was expecting it by the last two episodes. 

I also was disappointed with the Salem Seven being a big non event. Rio describes them in the first episode as "the worst of them," and they’ve supposedly been hunting Agatha for something like 320 years, so I expected them to be a real threat. But from what little we saw of them, beyond being creepy, they had no real bite. It felt very much like a fully powered up Agatha, especially one in possession of the Darkhold, could have easily squashed them all a century or two ago? (Again, when did she actually acquire that damned book?)

So Agatha. She’s unapologetically wicked, but I think of her as more selfishly power-hungry than outright evil. Knowledge of the craft is important to her, that was clear in her whole initial confrontation with Wanda, so she’s clearly well studied in addition to powerful. I imagine she really does think she’s more deserving of every other witch's power than they are, so why not take it? 

Her one tiny line in the sand (or salt circle) seems to be not hurting children, although she really didn’t seem all that concerned with Billy or Tommy disappearing with Wanda’s powers during WV. I can only assume that was because Wanda magicked them up in the tiny span of a day or two out of nothing but her chaos magic with fake sitcom labor, so Agatha didn’t see them as real. And now that I know she had a son who she carried for (presumably) the full nine months and put in the real work for, I can kind of understand that. 

WV showed her coven trying to kill her in 1693, and AAA put Nicky’s birth in 1750. That’s 57 years of wrecking havoc with her lover, Lady Death, and my own take on that is that they didn’t actually meet until after Agatha offed her coven. I’m sure Death was there for that event, and I even play with the idea that Death had been hovering around her long before that, but I don’t think she showed herself to Agatha at that point and Agatha wouldn’t have noticed her physical presence yet.  

I don’t actually believe Agatha could control her siphoning powers before she killed her coven - in fact, she seemed genuinely surprised that she wasn’t dying when they blasted her and that her own power was pulling theirs into her. And her coven and Evanora sure as hell couldn’t have known she could do that, or they would have chosen another way to kill her. 

And now that we know Agatha could absorb magic with her touch (kiss?), since that’s what she did with Rio in the end, I think that’s probably how her power worked before the attempted execution. In fact, I headcanon that she started siphoning Evanora’s powers during childbirth, and that’s why her mother thought she was evil and wanted to kill her at birth. I think the trauma of being born triggered baby Agatha’s magic and Evanora started growing weaker and weaker as it dragged on, and she felt her magic being leeched by the child she was birthing, but because Agatha was only a baby and not really all the powerful yet, she couldn’t draw enough to kill her mother outright, only severely weaken her. 

And yes, I also imagine Lady Death was hovering in that room, waiting to see if she’d be taking Evanora Harkness or the baby, and maybe Agatha and her potential intrigued her from those first moments, so maybe she kept an interested eye on her - since Death is technically everywhere all at once. 

There are so many circumstances when a young Agatha could have had her siphoning ability triggered. Like, imagine her trying to steal a treat or something and Evanora grabbing her hand away only for Agatha to start sucking up her magic through the touch. It would have made Evanora slap her away and refuse to even touch her again, and she certainly wouldn’t have ever wanted to allow Agatha to have the knowledge of how to use her power with intent. So of course young Agatha has to go looking for knowledge on her own. I don’t believe she had the Darkhold at this time, but there are certainly other tomes of dark magic she could have gotten her hands on and started reading, trying to understand what she is and why her magic works differently than the others in her coven.

Side note - siphoning through touch would only work in small doses, since once the other witch noticed it, she’d be able to push Agatha away. I mean, Agatha didn't exactly seem skilled at hand to hand combat there, so I imagine her childhood was a series of accidents or ‘accidents’ until Agatha figured out a much better way to employ her magic stealing touch. Let’s just say, I don’t think using her lips to steal Death’s power was the first time she used that trick, and I imagine the other witch might be too pleasantly distracted to realize what was happening for quite some time. 

Maybe this is even the way she betrayed her coven and got put on trial. Both defiling the natural order by cavorting with other women and killing a fellow witch with her touch.  

Anyway, she doesn’t figure out the much easier and, more importantly, faster way to steal power until her coven tries to kill her, but once she does, she gets very good at getting witches to blast her. (I also think this is why she told Lilia the supposed trick to her siphoning - because if she couldn't immediately provoke her, she could have tried going old school with it by latching onto her until she used her magic on her to shake her off, and then she’d get what she wanted the fast way. I mean, Lilia seemed old and frail. Agatha probably though she could take her no problem.)

So, back to past Agatha, now sans coven. She undoubtedly ends up killing more witches sooner rather than later, supposedly in self defense, after she pisses them all off enough to provoke an attack, and that finally brings Lady Death fully into her orbit. There are a number of fic writers who have already imagined the ‘meet deadly’ moment, so I won’t spend much time on that because this answer is already too long with no end in sight.  Suffice to say, they spent 57 years being gay and doing crime. Agatha got more powerful and Lady Death - Rio now in her corporeal, Agatha-loving form - got her bodies and a taste of life that she'd never had before. 

I headcanon that they did (still do) love one another in their own very disturbed, ultimately unhealthy way. And I definitely think Agatha was learning so many things from Rio in relation to magic during their years together. Rio is, after all, The Green Witch, so presumably no one knows more about green craft than her. And as Lady Death, she probably knows about every magic, and Agatha would just soak in all that knowledge over their time together. She probably learned to control her siphoning abilities from Rio so there wouldn’t be any accidental draws on the ancient power that would kill her. 

I also imagine Rio’s presence might have kept the Salem Seven at bay for those earlier years.  (Were they a factor during the Nicky years? Did Rio keep them at bay then too to protect her family from a distance? Why didn't they make a move in the any of the 200 years after?)

Anyway, jump skip to Agatha’s pregnancy which was doomed from conception. If we go with the thought that Nicholas was somehow created by both of them, then he carried the essence of Death inside of him and couldn’t have existed in a mortal body, doomed by his very nature. If we go with Agatha making him herself from scratch, it might have been her own inherent magic that doomed him. Maybe it was even a combination of both. 

In either case, I imagine Rio warned Agatha what Fate would demand from the beginning if she carried the pregnancy to term - what she’d force Rio to do. (If Nicky is hers too, then his very existence is an abomination against the sacred balance.) But Agatha, with her severe mommy issues, was determined to go ahead with it and prove her mother wrong, because the rules of magic have always bent to her power. Death herself has bowed before Agatha - certainly she’d do the same again. Certainly, Agatha is powerful enough to bring her child into the world unharmed. 

Spoiler: she is not. 

But Rio does, in fact, bend the rules for her again, and grants the only thing she can - time. This is why it cuts Rio so deeply when Agatha throws all of that special treatment back in her face on the Road (that isn’t real) - why that argument de-escalates at the mention of Nicky and what really happened. Because what is more awful than the truth that Agatha had loved and been loved by Death herself and even that - even all her own power and the power she stole from other witches - couldn’t save her (their) child?

Would it ultimately have been kinder for Rio to have just taken Nicholas before he’d drawn his first breath?  Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t think there was an answer that could have saved their love at this point, but Rio did (does) love Agatha, and she went against her very nature and defied the laws she was bound by to grant her love time with her (their) son. 

And we know how that part of the story plays out, though I do share the popular headcanon that Rio was lurking around for those six years that Nicholas lived, perhaps visiting him in his sleep, because he went to her without fear or hesitation in the end. She obviously has the ability to infiltrate the mind-space - she did it with the spell Agatha was trapped in. 

That it happened when he was asleep - more importantly, when Agatha was asleep - is the thing that I think has fueled her anger and resentment of Rio all this time. Yeah, she was always going to hate Rio for taking him and be angry for a very long time, but Rio never gave her the chance to say that final goodbye, and that's what made it truly unforgivable. Rio probably thought it was better that way - a more peaceful death for Nicky - but Agatha could never be capable of understanding that. 

So Agatha immediately embarks on centuries long rage and grief spree to gain even more power using the ballad she’d written with her son, and you’d better believe she’s gleefully using those bodies to taunt her ex along the way. That’s what we see, anyway, and there were no black fingers, so she wasn’t actively using the Darkhold for that Witch's Road con she was running. (Again, when did she find that book?)

Rio clearly implies in the first episode that it’s been a long time since they’ve seen each other and that Agatha has been using the Darkhold to hide behind - essentially hiding from Death. Did she have it for fifty years? One hundred? Two hundred?  You’d think she would have gone looking for it soon after Nicky’s death, maybe hoping it would have some spell or ritual to resurrect him. But she didn’t. Or maybe she couldn’t? Maybe Nicky, being the son of Lady Death, didn’t end up in the same place as other, purely mortal souls, so whatever spell the Darkhold contained couldn’t work to draw his soul back?   

(And if anyone is interested after this long ass post, I also have a separate headcanon about Nicholas and the Afterlife that I won;t get into here.)  

I haven’t fully settled on how I think the timeline of those missing years lines up. I’m leaning toward Agatha having had the Darkhold for at least a century - long enough to make it really hurt for Rio to not be able to see or sense her, left with only bodies she knows Agatha left in her wake. 

Now, Rio. Lady Death. 

When we first meet her, she’s inserted herself into Agatha’s crime drama spell. I don’t think she was physically there at the time but projected herself into Agatha’s consciousness, and at this point it’s been either decades or centuries since she’s been able to sense her ex. First the Darkhold hid her and then Wanda’s spell - “You live here now. No one will bother you” - and as soon as both of those are gone from the multiverse, the spell begins to break. No, I do not think Billy broke it. It was already breaking before he tried his analog magic spell. At best, he sped up Agatha’s awakening. 

So Rio has been unable to confront Agatha for a very, very long time, but I believe there were confrontations before Agatha got the Darkhold and after Nicky died. I think it’s fair to assume those were violent and angry on Agatha’s side and probably sad and regretful on Rio’s. They probably hate fucked a time or two. But any mention of Nicky would have set Agatha off and sent her running, safe in her anger and hatred of Rio, so other than the blame game, I don't think they actually have a real conversation about him.

I think Rio probably tries at least once to see her and apologize and assure her that Nicky is at peace and being watched over, but that really wouldn't have be met with anything but venom.  

Agatha is the only mortal Death has ever loved and who has ever loved Death, and she doesn’t know how to let go of that. And then Agatha ghosts her metaphorically before ghosting her literally. 

But still, Rio is surprisingly patient with Agatha as Agnes, even though she very definitely made a beeline to Westview the moment Agatha’s aura came back on the map. When Agatha is finally free of the spell and confronts Herb, he says she’s been acting extra weird on her true crime kick for a few days. That implies she was just rolling along in the Nosy Neghbor Agnes persona prior to that, while Wanda was alive and the spell was still in full effect. 

I think her change in behavior should have coincided exactly with Wanda’s death, even though it doesn’t exactly jive with ‘Ralph’ knowing Wanda was dead when Billy seeks him out. That’s one of the rare plot holes in the writing of this show. Unless he just assumed Wanda was dead since she disappeared after Westview and went into hiding. 

Anyway, Rio shows up and assesses the situation her ex is in, deciding she needs to help Agatha wake up before she tears into her over the decades / centuries of ghosting her. Because what satisfaction can she get if Agatha doesn’t even remember why she hates Rio? 

Billy stumbles into the situation after Rio, so his presence can only speed up what was already started. 

And then Agatha is awake, and what we see in that first confrontation is an angry and hurt Lady Death wanting to strike back at the love of her (un)life for almost certainly stealing the Darkhold and using it to hide from her (and the Salem Seven and probably the Sorcerer Supreme and every other witch/witchhunter out for revenge) while likely also trying to the resurrect their dead son against the laws of the universe and upset the sacred balance. 

She’s saying she wants Agatha dead - which for her would also mean Agatha would be hers forever, no way to run again - but she also clearly still just wants her back in a more willing way. This first fight is very likely flirting for them, and she does want Agatha to get her purple back. She wants them back to the way they were before Nicky. It’s impossible, of course, but after 270-ish years, she’s hoping maybe Agatha has finally processed her grief enough to forgive her. 

I don’t think Billy is on Rio’s radar at this point. Maybe this is because of the sigil. Maybe it’s that William Kaplan wasn’t dead long enough to pull her to his body when Billy jumped in. Maybe it’s a combination of both. 

I do think he’s on her radar the moment the Road becomes real - or at least, the chaos magic that created it is. And since Wanda is gone, that really only leaves one possibility. 

Rio is definitely already in the neighborhood for poor Sharon. She clearly doesn't need the door they opened for her with the summoning spell to come and go from the Road, as she demonstrates when she tears through reality to leave it in episode 8. She does tell Agatha that it wasn't her choice since magic took the path of least resistance, but I interpret that to mean that their spell gave her an excuse to show herself to all of them and investigate what was going on.

When she’s acting as Death, she’s stoic and calm. With Agatha, she’s sad and angry and creepily playful - the humanity Agatha brings out of her on full display. With the others when she arrives on the Road - well, she’s exactly what Agatha accuses her of being - a tourist. She knows the Road wasn’t real before exactly as Agatha does, so her reaction to being there is exactly what you’d expect. She’s admiring the scenery, the vibe, and the magic that created it. She even says, “this is cool,” when she first starts walking it. 

I believe she knows Teen is Billy Maximoff before the sigil breaks. She asks about him as soon as she and Agatha are alone in Alice’s trial, and Agatha immediately tries to distract her with the promise of bodies. And when he ends up hurt, Rio once again makes an exception for Agatha when she begs, “Don’t.” She could have taken him then and maybe had a chance of grabbing his soul before he reincarnated because he hadn’t fully come into his powers yet in this life. But she waits because her guilt over taking Nicky is still a tangible thing, and Billy is saved, and Rio is going to lose her chance to re-balance the scales. 

She’s still hoping for Agatha’s forgiveness, and she makes her confession of Agatha being her scar, and then they share that moment in the woods. But Rio isn’t truly forgiven for Nicky, and she knows it, and she stops Agatha because she doesn’t want her misplaced gratitude for sparing Billy Maximoff.  After multiple viewings, I’m now reading - “That boy isn’t yours” - as less Rio reminding Agatha that Billy isn’t Nicholas and more warning her that Billy isn’t hers to save. He isn’t her second chance at motherhood with a powerful, magicked up son. He’s Wanda’s boy. He’s an abomination. He ultimately shouldn't exist, and his soul (and possibly William Kaplan's suppressed one) belong to Rio. 

If she was going to ignore the sacred balance for anyone, it would have been Nicholas. 

I’ve already posted about Rio’s reaction in Agatha’s trial. How the camera cuts to her after Evanora says she ought to have killed Agatha at birth. First we see Agatha, obviously, because it''s the confirmation that her mother has always thought her evil from birth, and the pain of that statement is twofold for her because she literally begged Death to spare her own child and then spent six years, presumably, trying to amass enough power to somehow save him. I think she believed that if she killed enough witches, if she collected enough of the kind of magic that she didn’t have - healing, protection, divination - she might one day figure out how either outrun Death or conjure more time for her son. 

But right after Agatha, we see Rio with that look of pain, closing her eyes and looking away, because she nearly did with Agatha’s son - with her own son - what Evanora wanted to do. She nearly took him at birth because he wasn’t meant to exist in the living world, and then she was still forced to take him eventually. Just as Agatha hasn’t forgiven her for it, Rio has never forgiven herself for what she had to do.  

And when we next see her after this episode, we see stoic Lady Death again, collecting Alice with bored indifference. Because that’s her job. Her vacation is over. The trials on this fake Road aren’t any fun anymore, and she’s done humoring Agatha with whatever con she’s trying to run this time. Because she knows Agatha could have ended all of this before it started if she’d admitted the Road was never real and Billy created it. 

Billy has come into his powers at this point, and Rio’s likely pissed at herself for letting her chance to collect him slip away thanks to her eternal soft spot for Agatha. Once again, she’s given special treatment and risked upsetting the balance for this woman.  And on top of that, Lilia easily took out the Salem Seven - bad ass of Lilla but so anticlimactic for whatever threat the Salem Seven were intended to be - so Rio's chance of finally getting Agatha over to the other side just took a nosedive. She’s not allowed to do it herself, and I’m not sure she’s yet at the point where she really wants to torture Agatha into begging her for release. If Agatha manages to finish the Road and actually gets her purple back, Rio will be chasing after her again for another century or two. 

She’s close to the end of her patience with her ex at this point. Poor Nicky is never going to see her (other) mother again. 

And then Agatha offers to deliver Billy to her, which I think Rio realizes is bullshit. I don’t think she really believes that Agatha intends to follow through without a trick, and even if she did, she doesn't believe Agatha will actually be able to convince Billy to give himself over to Death. But Rio plays along, wondering what Agatha wants from her this time. Maybe she even thinks Agatha will want to trade him for Nicky - one abomination for another. Maybe Rio actually hopes it would be this because it would give her a loophole to finally say yes. Maybe the prophesied demiurge would be more than an equal trade for the son of Death alive in the world again.

And incidentally, I do find it hilarious that Agatha’s condition is for Rio to stop following her - like, you’ve spent 300 years killing witches. It’s impossible for Death to do anything else but follow you.  But it’s the part about not wanting to see her face when Agatha eventually does die that finally breaks Rio. I mean, that was basically the whole point of wanting Agatha dead now - a way for them to be together with their son. 

It guts Rio, and you can see it in her expression. 

And I believe Agatha fully expected her to refuse - to tell her that it wasn’t possible. All roads lead to (Lady) Death, after all. She’s the inevtiable end of all things, and she hates ghosts. There’s no way for Agatha to avoid her. The best she could do is greet her in her true form and let Rio Vidal die. 

But for Rio, this isn’t just a rejection of her. It’s also a rejection of everything about their shared past. A rejection of Nicholas. If Rio can’t take her soul to the Afterlife, then she can’t take her to Nicholas either. Is Agatha really that much of a coward? (The answer, of course, is yes.) So she reluctantly agrees, heartbroken, but she also expects that Agatha won’t be able to keep her end of that deal, so she won’t need to keep hers. 

It’s kind of a stalemate where they both think - shit, what the fuck did I just agree to?

It’s ironic really. To some degree, I think Agatha finally comes to some acceptance of Nicky’s death in that final trial. "Sometimes, boys die." "From death, life."  

At the same time, this is when Rio fully snaps. She’s stewing over this whole Witches Road deal and Agatha's final rejection, and frankly, fully aware that Agatha just helped Billy create another abomination, messing even more with the rightful balance of things. 

Yeah, Rio has been angry with Agatha, but also guilty and hurt and lovesick, so it’s tempered her somewhat. She’s been the antagonistic kind of angry where Agatha could easily assuage her, but now, with Agatha’s last rejection of everything about their shared past and helping that kid disrupt her domain even more, she embraces her rage in a way she hasn’t allowed herself up to this point. The human emotions that Agatha sparked in Rio take over all her reason and balance and duty, and she lashes out.  The rejected lover, finally allowed to indulge the anger and grief that Agatha spent two centuries indulging with her own rampage. 

I know we didn’t get to see the magical battle due to budget restraints, and honestly, I’m only a little disappointed by that. The Wanda/Agatha one wasn’t exactly spectacular with the boring energy blasts. But we get enough of it to see that Rio never hits Agatha with her full power. She isn’t trying to kill her here; she only wants to hurt her - vent her own rage and heartbreak. They’re even back to their weird kind of flirting halfway through it, but then Billy gets involved again, and oh yeah, the kid is still here. Something has to be done about him, because Rio can’t ignore her duty forever, and Agatha knows she can’t defeat Death. 

So finally, we get that moment, when Agatha looks like she’s getting what she wanted and Billy is willingly surrendering himself, and she could walk away with a nice charge from his power and the promise to never have to see Rio again. 

It’s my understanding that Billy’s mental plea wasn’t originally in the script, and I actually wish they’d left it out. I don’t actually think that his mention of Nicky in that moment would have changed her mind anyway. I think it would have probably had the opposite effect since she’s always reacted badly to the mention of him except when Rio brought him up in that last conversation on the Road.

But, in the context we got, that isn’t how Nicky died. He’d been stolen away in the night after Rio had granted him six more years than he should have ever had. Agatha would have never traded his life for hers. She would have traded hers for him in a heartbeat.  So yeah, I get why that was added, but I don’t fully think it was necessary. Agatha was always going to realize that leaving Billy with Rio was the wrong thing, and she was crossing the one meager moral line she had - hurting children. And this one, specifically, reminds her too much of her lost son. 

She puts a hand to her chest before she turns, right where we know her broach always sat. I’ve watched that scene a few times, and I noticed that we can’t see her broach on her costume for maybe the only time since she broke out of Wanda’s spell. But it’s obviously there somewhere because it’s the one thing left behind when Rio speed runs her decomposition - yet another bit of special treatment in allowing it to remain as a means of tying her spirit to the mortal realm. 

And yeah, like Agatha said, it was a calculated risk. I don’t think Rio has ever outright lied to her or broken a deal, and Agatha technically upheld her end of their bargain but also very much didn’t, but Rio does slightly change the terms of the bargain before that last battle, such as it is. She gives them both the choice - “One of you is coming with me.”  

And yet, she hesitates to take Billy as soon as he offers himself. Because taking him means losing Agatha forever, and despite her anger, she isn’t fully ready to do that. In the end, her hesitation gives Agatha the time to change the terms. She gives Rio what she’s claimed to want from the beginning - Agatha’s death. 

Agatha gives herself to Rio in a way that speaks of both acceptance and forgiveness. And maybe, it’s also forcing the bargain that Rio never gave her the chance to make for Nicky. Her life for his. 

And Rio keeps their bargain about seeing her face again anyway, because I think she knows that she’s finally been forgiven, but Agatha still isn’t ready to face Nicky. She doesn’t collect Agatha’s soul and even allows that broach to stay behind for Billy to take. I think Rio knows full well she just allowed Agatha to remain as a ghost, but she lets her go. She finally lets Agatha go and lets herself grieve their lost love. 

She lets Rio Vidal die with Agatha and reclaims her eternal role as Lady Death. 

And now her sacred balance is shot to hell, because she’s got not one, but two, abominations roaming around in bodies that don’t belong to them, and one stubborn, ornery ghost who she knows damn well is going to meddle in all of that chaos magic.  

And, I think, she also hopes that maybe one day, Agatha will be ready to cross over and see Nicholas again - maybe even see her again - but, it’s all in Agatha’s power now. 

Like Rio said in the very first episode - “If you want to be in control, you can be.”  And it speaks volumes that Rio has honored that at every turn.

Now she just has to explain to Nicholas how she let his mama slip through her fingers again and stick around to mentor that Maximoff boy.