#YOU - But do you? Do you think I’m bi-sexual? Come on Kim. I need this.
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After years of being within fandoms where either you either get queer characters that are so flat and boring or straight characters that will never be queer outside of fanon, it’s kind of jarring to watch a show where the writers are actually committed to writing their queer characters with so much dimension and care. Eddie’s impending coming out feels so obvious that I almost have to kick myself and remind myself that this isn’t some mass delusion we’ve all been tricked into and that the evidence is all in the writing. Like it just feels so nice and rare that we get multiple interesting queer storylines in one show! Even looking at Buck and his misunderstanding of his own sexuality and the journey he still needs to go on, so many shows would have just been like, “yep he’s bi, everyone still loves him, no more examining to do there!” but no he needs to sit down and think about it because even when someone’s coming out is relatively easy like his was, it doesn’t mean that everything it settled and understood. I’m so interested to see where Buck and Eddies stories go and the fact that that excitement is equal to the idea of them getting together is really amazing. I love my firefighter soap opera
This fandom might yearn for a showrunner who condescends to their audience by spelling everything out in a didactic tone, but I love that Tim Minear lets his actors’ performance play a key role. Much of what been said hasn’t been said. It’s in the way Eddie pauses before saying “best friend” to a priest or “baby” before Kim as Shannon. It’s in how Buck’s face recoils when the suggestion of loving Tommy, but brightening when he says he can imagine a future because Buck’s an optimist who can imagine a life with a plastic bag, as a friend puts it. For all these reasons (and more), I don’t mind that Tim’s taking the scenic journey because it creates more value. Fandom these past view years have shifted away from appreciating the journey to prioritizing the payoff to its detriment. The journey’s why we’re here after all. Why do everything we can to belittle it?
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your ass on -5 composure rn
SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPPP DON’T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR DISCO ELYSIUM SKILL PNG
#Composure [Medium: Failure] - Oh my god. You are failing so bad. You are being so pathetic right now. Actually more than pathetic.#How did you even manage that? Dear lord. Now Kim is looking at you weird. Are you listening? He’s staring at you because he thinks you’re#a fucking freak. Get your shit together. Try again. You’re a police officer.#[Red Check - COMPOSURE - 58% EVEN]#🎲🎲 🛑CRITICAL FAIL#Composure [Medium: Failure] - You can’t be serious. Are you serious? You failed a second time? What’s wrong with you?#KIM KITSURAGI - Detective… Is everything alright? - The strange look never leaves his face as he cautiously observes you.#YOU - 1. Oh it’s more than alright baby! It’s bonkers in here! (Point to your head)#2. Can I be honest? I don’t think I’ve ever been alright. I think it all started when I turned 32.#3. Kim. Do you think I’m bisexual#YOU - Kim… Do you think I’m bisexual?#KIM KITSURAGI - His expression turns startled. Then he furrows his brows; considering.#KIM KITSURAGI - Lieutenant. Listen to me. We have more important things to attend to. We have a case to solve.#YOU - But do you? Do you think I’m bi-sexual? Come on Kim. I need this.#KIM KITSURAGI - …#KIM KITSURAGI - How about we stop talking for a while.#cramswering
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Extracurricular, An Analysis
Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri
“Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won’t adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is sign on as it’s accomplice.” - Tom Robbins
You know the story. You’ve heard it before, right?
Boy meets girl.
Girl finds out that boy is running a side protection business for prostitutes.
Girl decides to blackmail boy into letting her join his business.
Classic high school criminal shenanigans ensue leading them into more dangerous situations where they are forced to make desperate decisions to stay alive.
Oh, and they fall in love along the way.
Oh? You haven’t heard this one before? Then let me introduce you to this delightful kdrama called Extracurricular.
I watched this one while waiting for the newest Hometown Cha Cha Cha episodes to drop and ended up binging the whole series in two days. There are many remarkable parts of this series: it’s a crime drama, first and foremost, that showcases high school teenagers caught in a cycle of violence and crime, abandoned by the society and adults that are supposed to be protecting them. There are no clear good guys and bad guys in this drama; everyone is cast in shades of grey. Our main leads, Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri, run the prostitution business, and are both from broken family backgrounds. Their actions are morally questionable at best, but the top tier performances from Kim Dong Hee (you might remember him from Itaewon Class) and Park Ju Hyun make you cheer for them anyway. You want them to have a happy ending, despite the horrible things they do. The audience is always reminded that despite how clever they are in staying ahead, their actions have consequences, and they’re just high school kids. The drama never pulls it punches.
But, weirdly enough, it’s also a love story. And that’s the part the really sticks with me until now. (The chemistry between the main leads is absolute dynamite and I could watch ten episodes of them just verbally sparring with each other. They don’t even kiss. They’re that fantastic when together on screen.)
I’m writing this because this is undoubtedly one of my all time favorite kdramas and I have a lot of feelings about our main pairing, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri. I can’t call them a couple (wait, didn’t I just say they fall in love) because their relationship can’t be labelled simply as that. Think of it as something similar to the main leads in My Ahjussi. Two people who should have become soulmates, yet met at the wrong time.
This kdrama is not particularly happy, and while I do encourage people to watch this, I am warning that the subject matter is extremely dark. If you’re sensitive to scenes depicting sexual assault, graphic violence, or anything in that zip code you’ll want to steer clear.
Also, I’ll be diving into spoiler territory in this analysis. So if you want to go in clean, then stop reading here.
Still here? Awesome. Let’s dive deep into the messy, amazing pairing that is Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri. First, let’s do a brief character background on our two main leads, starting with Ji-soo.
Oh Ji-soo is one half of our main pairing and this story starts with him. He lives by himself and has been essentially abandoned by his only parents; his father is a failed businessman who gambles whatever money he acquires on scams and his mother ran away. His apartment is small, sparse, but functional. He owns only a few outfits aside from his school uniform. The only unique item he owns is a pet hermit crab that he takes care of. His life outside of school is non-existent; he has no friends, no one to hang out with and do typical high school teenager activities with. He takes care of himself and lives only for himself and his “dream”: to graduate, attend college, get married, and have kids like a normal person.
But to do that, he needs a large amount of money. He has no other financial means to do so (his father is largely absent, as is his mother), so he decides, at some point, to start up this protection business for prostitutes. The drama doesn’t go into detail about the how and why he came to this conclusion that this was the best way to make a lot of money in a short amount of time, so you’ll have to suspend your disbelief from the get go. Considering the themes of the story (how youths abandoned by society tend to act out in extreme ways to make it in this world), it’s not hard to believe his desperation would drive him to make such a decision.
Ji-soo, despite his shady business, is actually a decent person. There’s a streak of humanity that exists inside him that refuses to go out, despite the increasingly dark and bleak events that start to overtake his life. He’s attached to his hermit crab, cares for his “employees” outside of them being tools to make him money, and doesn’t want to see anyone get hurt. He goes above and beyond what’s required to help out people at the risk of his own life (in particular, Gyu-ri, and we’ll get into that shortly).
What we learn from the first few episodes is that Oh Ji-soo is extremely smart and methodical in how he approaches his life. At school, he is known as a model student - quiet, top of the class in terms of grades, doesn’t draw any attention to himself, always follows along with what the teachers ask of him. Only his homeroom teacher, Mr. Cho, seems to consider his quiet style of existence to be concerning and tries to make him less socially awkward by pairing him up with another student in a new extracurricular club. This leads to the introduction of Bae Gyu-ri, Ji-soo’s longtime crush and future partner-in-crime.
Meet Bae Gyu-ri, the other half of our dynamic duo. Her introduction into the story kickstarts the entire plot, as one of her earliest actions leads to a domino effect that spells increasing doom and tragedy for our main leads. She messes with Ji-soo’s operation at a critical moment and she spends the rest of the drama doing her best to make up for the consequences that follow.
In my personal opinion, she is probably the best main female lead I’ve ever seen in a kdrama. Hands down, no other character exists (currently) that rivals her sheer cunning, wit, and badassery. Gyu-ri is Crazy, capital C, and is the chaos to Ji-soo’s control; the fire to his ice. Despite being the direct cause of half the events that happen to Ji-soo in the drama, he can’t help but need her because of what she offers. They make an incredible team. Her competitiveness, her need to win no matter the odds, helps them survive time and time again.
Gyu-ri is from the opposite end of the spectrum of Ji-soo; he’s dirt poor and she’s insanely rich (always nice to see a reversal of typical kdrama tropes). Her mother and father run a successful entertainment company. Gyu-ri is popular at school, friends with seemingly everybody, pretty, cheerful and gets along well with her teachers. Ji-soo, and the audience, believe from the beginning that she has the perfect life. It’s not hard to believe that she’s just involving herself in Ji-soo’s business because she’s bored and needs an outlet, at first.
We soon learn otherwise. Gyu-ri has more in common with Ji-soo than he initially realizes, in that they’re both trapped in circumstances beyond their control - it’s just that Gyu-ri’s cage is gilded, whereas his is not. Her parents are strict and have her life planned out for her, all without her consent or input, leaving her feeling frustrated and powerless despite her rich lifestyle. A suicide attempt hasn’t done much to change her parents attitude towards her, only serving to further their control over her life.
So, when she learns of Ji-soo’s operation she immediately seeks to angle her way into it. First, she tries to rip him off, believing that he’s an evil “pimp” and thus deserves it. But after spending some time with him, she changes her mind last second and decides to help him out instead.
And, now, let’s get into their relationship, which is one of the best (if not the best) aspect in the entire series.
I need to be upfront about something: the relationship between Ji-soo and Gyu-ri is not exactly healthy. I wouldn’t describe it as toxic - the circumstances surrounding them aren’t exactly the best environment to encourage open and honest communication - but it’s definitely not what should be considered ideal, especially for young adults, and especially for young adults who are dabbling in crime instead of studying.
So, why do I love them so much? If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you know that I loathe toxic relationships in kdramas, so I understand if you think I’m coming off as hypocritical here. Why do I like Oh Ji-soo and Bae Gyu-ri when I didn’t like, for example from recent history, (oh boy, here I go again on my Nevertheless BS) Park Jae-eon and Yu Na-bi?
First, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are way cooler than Jae-eon and Na-bi ever could be. They run a criminal enterprise that involves having a high amount of intelligence, cunning, and daring to do so. Do Jae-eon and Na-bi run a criminal enterprise as a side business? No, they don’t, because they’re boring art students.
Secondly, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri actually progress in their relationship and change their views as they learn from each other. Now, granted, that progress isn’t towards becoming better versions of each other - quite the opposite. But at least they have progress. Jae-eon and Na-bi stayed in the same stupid cycle for the whole series and then decided that it was better staying that way as opposed to trying for something else.
Last, but certainly not least, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are actually interesting to watch for me. The chemistry between Park Ju Hyun and Kim Dong Hee is explosive and they way they spar, exchange looks, and just generally exist around each other on screen is something I can watch forever. I’ve said this before but Han So Hee and Song Kang’s on screen chemistry, outside of their intimate scenes, really didn’t impress me.
Okay, back to Extracurricular. This relationship, man. It’s all I can think about (other than HomeCha’s Du-sik and Hye-jin, but that’s another post). Ji-soo and Gyu-ri are so good together.
I’ve noted before that Ji-soo is methodical in how he approaches his life; he plans out everything ahead, and rigs any situation as much as he can in his favor. It’s brilliant, but when a crisis happens, he doesn’t know how to deal with it effectively. He panics and flounders; becomes indecisive at a time when clear, decisive action is required.
Enter Gyu-ri. She quickly becomes the partner he never knew he needed. When there’s a situation, she becomes invaluable in her quick thinking and wit, coming up with solutions on the fly. It’s not perfect, but it keeps them just one small step ahead of whatever is coming their way.
The only thing preventing them from becoming unstoppable is the lack of communication and trust they have with each other. A lot of that has to do with how Gyu-ri entered Ji-soo’s business - she blackmailed him first, and, when that failed, she strong armed her way into getting him to accept her help. It’s implied in the drama that Ji-soo has had a crush on Gyu-ri for a while (since ninth grade, I believe) and in the first episode he actually gets the chance to spend time with her outside of school on a sort of quasi-date.
It goes sideways pretty quickly because of some shenanigans from his business, but not before she gets to know him and says some pretty touching words regarding his situation. Poor guy is head over heels - even after finding out that she’s the one blackmailing him, his feelings are only dampened, not extinguished. When he catches a glimpse of her family’s situation, he gains a deeper understanding of her and why she acts the way she does. Even more importantly, Ji-soo treats her the same after finding out this information which, to someone like Gyu-ri, means more than if he comforted her about it.
If you want to see a physical representation of how he feels, other than paying attention to his actions, you can see it in him keeping mementos from Gyu-ri. She has an interesting habit of folding bags into origami shapes and giving it to him. Even after the blackmail reveal, you can see that he continues to keep these in a container on his desk. It’s really cute that he keeps these, when it probably doesn’t even matter that much to Gyu-ri.
Towards the end of the drama, Ji-soo prepares to turn himself in to prevent Gyu-ri from being implicated in the crimes they committed. And it costs him almost everything to protect her. Ji-soo, the quiet, nerdy kid, puts himself on the line time and time again to protect Gyu-ri, knowing that it puts his life and his dream at risk to do so. And all for what? For some girl that he thinks doesn’t even like him in return?
Well, let’s talk about that. Because I’ve seen some comments that Gyu-ri was only using Ji-soo for her own selfish gain. And I can agree that was how it was at the beginning for her; she definitely was only interested in acquiring money, like Ji-soo was, in order to achieve her own goal of being free from her parents.
But, oh man, that is not what is motivating her at the end.
It’s actually pointed out relatively early by some of her friends that it’s obvious that she likes Ji-soo more than he likes her. Understandably Ji-soo is keeping her at arms length from him given the whole recent blackmailing, so it would make sense that it looks that way.
Further questioning reveals what she likes the most about him:
“It’s not like I’m crazy about him. He’s fun. And amusing. He’s smart. And there’s a certain charm he has. He also has a wolfish side to him. But he thinks he’s a puppy.”
- Bae Gyu-ri
But, as she gets to know Ji-soo better, you can certainly see that she starts to fall hard for him. As a cover story for why they hang out so much together during and after school, Gyu-ri states to everyone that they’re dating. The reactions across the school definitely imply that this is a shocking development, which means that Gyu-ri hasn’t dated anyone before. So why Ji-soo other than the reasons she herself states?
He challenges her, just as she challenges him. Gyu-ri may be the more dynamic, quick thinking of the pair but Ji-soo is every inch her intellectual equal - just in different ways. She doesn’t seem to be the type to be easily impressed, but you can tell that she’s definitely impressed by Ji-soo’s operation and how thoroughly set up it is. When Ji-soo is frustrated at the beginning by his setbacks, he blows up at another student (knocks him out in a crazy punch) and immediately walks over to Gyu-ri afterwards (who saw the whole thing) to inform her that she is now his partner in crime.
The look in her eyes, and the small smirk she has speaks volumes about her attraction to him in that scene. Smoldering.
And, oh yes, she’s prone to jealousy. Another classmate, Min-hee, gives Ji-soo a present out of the blue (it was supposed to be for her boyfriend, Ki-tae, but that’s another sub-plot) - all within view of Gyu-ri. It’s hilarious how she tries to brush it off. Later, for plot reasons, Ji-soo has to spend more time with Min-hee which only furthers Gyu-ri’s annoyance.
And her motivations stop being entirely about the money and more towards helping preserve the dream that she and Ji-soo share about being free. There’s a scene in episode 8 where it’s revealed that, due to a business partnership with a local gang (set up by none other than Gyu-ri herself in a desperate move), Ji-soo would have to drop out of school permanently to work on their behalf. Gyu-ri overhears this and, despite badly needing the gang’s help in sustaining their own business, immediately terminates the partnership.
All because it would interfere with Ji-soo’s dream.
Man, if that isn’t love.
In the following episode, Gyu-ri, and later on Ji-soo, is kidnapped by the same gang in retaliation for terminating their partnership. Ji-soo comes to her rescue but Gyu-ri is already almost free (again, she’s really, really badass) and is demanding that they bring Ji-soo to her instead of running for her life.
Surviving this latest attempt puts the two in a reflective, vulnerable mood and Gyu-ri asks Ji-soo why he keeps saving her. Ji-soo asks later on why she keeps risking her life to be with him. They don’t say the answer in words but in an almost kiss (yeah, you read that right - almost).
And then, if you aren’t already convinced, Ji-soo crosses his one last remaining line in an effort to keep Gyu-ri safe; he accidentally pushes a fellow classmate down some steps and, instead of helping her, leaves her to die after grabbing the evidence she has on him and Gyu-ri.
Extracurricular pulls off quite the magic trick here, hiding this well done love story in the middle of a serious crime drama.
The real tragedy is that Ji-soo thinks that Gyu-ri views this whole business, and by extension his life, as one big game. It’s something that she takes offense at, visibly becoming upset when he says that.
But even if that were true, he should be assured since Gyu-ri doesn’t like to lose.
As they hurtle towards the end and face up to the consequences of their actions, Ji-soo and Gyu-ri undoubtedly lose sight of their original goals and dreams. They do some fairly horrible things to stay alive and ahead of the police who are close on their trail. You can’t really blame them for doing what they did; in the face of a society that has abandoned them, what they’re doing is a logical outcome to gain what they want so desperately and deserve so much: the chance to be free to live like normal, care-free people.
I can’t say for certain that they achieve that. The drama is serious in consequences and, at the end, the net around them is drawing tighter and tighter. I won’t spoil the ending scene for you, because I highly encourage you watch this drama yourself but I will say this: Ji-soo and Gyu-ri seem stuck in an impossible situation with nowhere to go, and no one to help them, with a clock ticking down towards either death or discovery by the police.
But, all the same, I’m always the optimist. They’ve gotten through situations like this before and they can certainly do so again. Maybe not as bad as this one, but not too far out of their league. And, like I mentioned before, Gyu-ri doesn’t like to lose. Especially when it comes to Ji-soo.
Their relationship is truly dangerous, as Ji-soo himself notes. Them being together is the source of their problems; they’re too much alike now, as opposed to the beginning of the drama where he stated that they’re too different. Their love is the kind of love where both of them are willing to burn the whole world down if it means keeping each other safe.
I’m a real sucker for those kind of love stories. No one’s a hero here. They’re just kids in high school, doing the best with what they know.
Who are we to judge what is right and wrong? Especially when the one committing the acts are high school kids who don’t know any better and just want to save each other?
Do we have that right?
Do they really deserve that punishment? Shouldn’t we be pointing fingers at the society that forced them to act this way?
Extracurricular really makes you think about that. Is it really so outlandish and terrible what Ji-soo and Gyu-ri do to survive when the adults who are supposed to be protecting them, teaching them better, have failed in their duty?
Maybe they really did win at the end. Not so much in succeeding in their goals but in gaining something that not even regular people are likely to find - a partner, a soulmate, someone who will stand by you no matter what.
If you do watch the ending, and are not an optimist like I am, then all I can say is this: whatever happened, they were together at the end.
They were together.
#extracurricular netflix#human class#netflix#kdrama#oh jisoo#bae gyuri#park joo hyun#park ju hyun#kim dong hee
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heyyyy, so, christmas is coming and i’m not really entusiastic about it, but recently I saw the image from 2015 christmas event and I-
ik we got fINALLY our prom photo but I wish we have seen more with everyone really, I live for this image, it’s really pretty.
And that’s why I tried to make all of the girls there in picrew! I’m using
@ummmmandy‘s picrew btw, I really like it :)
some quick headcanons:
The situation is, as in the photo, a chistmas party! but a casual one though, to like, hang out using as an excuse the holidays :)
The first girl is Kim, she went totally casual. I would actually love to have more color options for her oufit, but I think she looks really pretty :D As A LOT of other people have done, I headcanon her as a lesbian.
Then we have Priya! I love the variation of skin tone color in this picrew, but I couldn’t really achieve her brown hair color. I imagine her under a mistletoe with Iris yet again lol, but Iris was really shy so she just like, kissed her on the cheek. I actually don’t know if she’s canonically bi, lesbian or pan, but for me she’s pan.
Melody is next, and I just want to say, Melody is really pretty! you may be wondering why does she have the aro flag, and my response is that i headcanon her as aro. Listen up, The whole thing with Nath was like, yeah, she did liked his attitude but she never really liked him that way, but she thought she did because of the spectations she had for herself regarding how her life was supposed to go. As we know things are never as planned and actually I don’t think she would say outloud hey, i’m aromantic, but after what happend she will lost interest in romance. She thought it was temporary, like a sort of seasonal depression, but then she was like, yk what? I don’t need that kind of love to be happy, in a happy relationship! it would take her time but I just- I just really want some character development for her. About a sexual orientation, I haven’t thought about it yet.
Peggy is activating her sixth sense: gossiping and putting all together to make it make sense.
Peggy is always on-the-go, so she doesn’t have that much time to invest in a romantic or sexual relationship with people. She feels passionate about her carrer and that’s what makes her happy, so the thought of “maybe i’m waisting time with all of this... my friends have their significant others and I don’t” doesn’t have any weigth on her.
Next up is Rosalya! I haven’t really thought a lot about her, I just headcanon her as omniromantic (preference for boys and masculine aligned people) heterosexual.
I have a whole post on Vio, I just want to say, she’s enjoying herself in a comftable sofa drawing her friends. They are a full on lesbian!
Iris is so pretty. That’s it. Oh, and she’s bi. (Ik she has very bright hair I didn’t had the option to that tone specifically but she is still pretty)
Karla for me is like, she can be stylish but she always has this childish tone with the accessories or the patters. Like, people would say oh, she’s cute! but she wants to be hot. I can’t believe I said that lol.
Um, she likes boys and masculine aligned people romantically and sexually, but, aesthetically she can’t with girls. She just finds them so pretty but she doesn’t see herself in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone who is a girl or femenine aligned.
Laeti is the definition of “life of the party”, believe me. She’s funny, she’s charismatic, and yeah, she can say some things that aren’t really appropiate sometimes but it isn’t with the intention to make people feel mad with her. She’s working on it.
I feel that Laeti may be omniromantic (preference for boys and masculine aligned people) heterosexual, or omniromantic omnisexual, or bi bi bi- I don’t know people. I only know she isn’t fully straight.
Tumblr doesn’t let me upload more photos soooo, I guess I will do a part two with my sucrettes.
#mcl high school life#mcl chistmas#mcl priya#mcl kim#mcl melody#mcl peggy#mcl rosalya#mcl violette#mcl iris#mcl karla#mcl laeti#my candy love#cdm#corazon de melon
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Fan apprentice Bios
for the alotsgonnachange/the arcana cinematic universe that eye personally believe to be better than the original game...
Name: Isabella Ciccino
Meaning: Promise of God
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Height: 5′10
Birthday: October 28th
Star sign: Scorpio
MBTI: ISFJ-T
Patron Arcana: Justice
Sexuality: Lesbian
Favorite Food: Lemon chicken orzo
Drink: White wine (Vinho Verde)
Magical abilities: Plant care/recognition (green witch), Foraging
Ethnicity: A small rocky/mediterranean esque island off the coast of Venterre that would strongly resemble sicily and malta.
Family: Mother, Angela Ciccino (deceased). Younger sister, Annamaria Ciccino (deceased)
Backstory: WIP
Occupation: Seamstress/tailor
Hobbies: Ballet, reading, drinking wine, dancing, tending to plants
Familiar: None (for now i guess??)
Love Interest: Nadia
Description: Isabella is a mysterious and alluring magician. To most people she is kind and charming, but private. She is incredibly helpful and caring to those she is friends with and cares about and will drop what she’s doing to assist. Likes to do quiet introspective work like reading, sewing, knitting and caring for plants. She’s a bit of a homebody in that sense. She comes across as level-headed and assertive in formal settings and does not allow others to talk down to her. With friends, she is a bit more sassy and teasing. She hates answering personal questions and has strict boundaries, which can lead to her being standoffish and stubborn at times.
As a Love Interest: Very loyal and committed, generally very gentle towards whoever she is seeing. You are going to have to get her to open the fuck up though she’s not good at being vulnerable AT ALL. The type of gf who may or may not qualify as a therapist/mother which…yikes. needs to work through her fear of intimacy before she can have a healthy relationship awwww 5/10
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Name: Danielle Dupont
Meaning: God is my judge
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/Her
Height: 5′6
Birthday: September 7th
Star sign: Virgo
MBTI: ENFP-A
Patron Arcana: The Sun
Sexuality: Bi
Favorite food: Pain au Chocolat (Chocolatine for my canadians…)
Favorite drink: Espresso or a good wheaty ale
Magical Abilities: Sexual magic, chemistry/potionmaking, candle magic, topical balms/solutions
Ethnicity: Whatever the Arcana equivalent is of like. Western Europe germanic? A country including but not limited to Germany, France, Belgium, Luxembourg, Switzerland. Who cares really she is white and an Orphan
Family: Orphan!
Backstory: WIP
Occupation: Shop owner who sells potions, balms, candles and various other uhhh items usually of the purpose of sex (literally think a modern day sex shop with dildos and shit but also candles and skincare too)
Hobbies: Socializing, singing, making/testing potions, foraging, baking
Familiar: None, is in fact frightened of several animals due to trauma :(
Love interest: Lucio (Her taste is questionable and that’s okay!), also portia
Description: Danielle is a cunning and animated witch. She’s outgoing, bright and carries herself with confidence. In the past this has made her friends and enemies alike. She’s charming but can be a bit of a trickster. Her demeanor is generally calm and she does not often experience strong anger. She’s very smart and dedicated to her craft, and she is a perfectionist. As a worker, she gives excellent customer service and is a good saleswoman. To her friends, she’s teasing and wild, but loving and encouraging. On her worst days, she has the potential to be a bit more inconsiderate and is not the best at handling huge displays of emotions from others.
As a Love Interest: Girlllll…. first of all she needs to stop being emotionally stunted! My good sis cannot handle open displays of emotion at all and tends to shut down! The physical aspects are all there and excellent and she is going to be sweet, caring and loving but she needs to take things more seriously and be able to talk about feelings!!! 3/10
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Name: Jia Song
Meaning: In korean it’s “clear” or “good”
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/her
Height: 5’5”
Birthday: August 5th
Star sign: Leo
MBTI: ENFJ-A
Sexuality: Bi
Favorite Food: Pulled pork or a good seasoned steak
Drink: limeade
Magical Abilities: Potions/herbs and healing
Ethnicity: Her father is from the same country as Ki (in a modern AU, this would be like. Korea.) and her mother is from somewhere uhhhh near nopal or something. Warm tropical nice (in a modern au this would be Brazil), but she grew up in her mother's country.
Family: I don't currently have names but basically, her father, mother, aunt (deceased) and two younger brothers.
Backstory: will be linked coming soon
Occupation: Healer, researcher, linguist
Hobbies: Dancing, reading, adventuring
Familiar: None
Love Interest: Julian
Description: Jia is a bright and curious magician. She’s a bit nerdy and loves reading/learning new disciplines. She is an energetic and altruistic person who is liked by many. She comes off as kind and forthcoming. She is very helpful and if she can’t help directly she will find someone who can with her connections. To her friends, she is loyal and sweet and affectionate, but also has the potential to be grumpy and even a bit negative. She’s very determined in hard situations and won’t back down until things are made right. Despite this, she can potentially overthink and overestimate situations and is incredibly stubborn when she wants to be.
As a romantic partner: loving, but definitely also able to keep independence. Not necessarily a stage 5 clinger but somewhere in the middle. She will love just spending lots of time with a partner and just picking their brain and learning everything she can from them. The type to brag about them to her friends. A wonderful listener but give her a chance to speak too she likes talking a lot as well! 10/10 would recommend
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Name: Ki (Kiyoung) Kim
Meaning: Debatable but Ki alone means arisen and i’m getting “Vigor and eternal” But i think names differ based on the characters u use i am not korean so take this with a grain of salt
Gender: Nonbinary i think...
Pronouns: He/him or they/them doesn't have a preference
Height: 5′8″ Short king
Birthday: February 27th
Star sign: Pisces
MBTI: INFP-T
Sexuality: Gay
Favorite food: Budae Jjigae or Yongeun jorim
Favorite drink: any alcoholic beverage where you can’t taste the alcohol and strawberry milk
Magical Ability: Divination and mediumship (idk what the proper term is) so he can communicate with spirits/the dead
Ethnicity: Think of a small nation veeeery far away from Vesuvia that's cold for a lot of the year (for reference, think Korea).
Family: a twin sister named Jiyoung, 3 older sisters (Jiwoo, Jeongyeon, Joonhwa), mother and father and paternal grandfather and maternal grandmother who are living.
Backstory: will be linked coming soon
Occupation: Musician - mostly guitar and piano. Enjoys instrument care, arranging and performing in large ensembles, not a soloist by any means. He’s a great singer but he’s shy and singing gives him anxiety
Hobbies: Playing guitar, composing/arranging, reading, writing, shopping
Familiar: a tiny white dragon named Egg. Idc if dragons exist in this world but i feel like they HAVE to..
Love Interest: Asra
Description: Ki is a perceptive and witty magician. To most he comes off as a bit anxious and shy, which he is. Once you get past that, he’s eager, forthcoming and empathetic. He is very kind and likes to believe people have good intentions. He is very helpful and always tries to make sure others are comfortable and happy. He enjoys music and learning musical instruments. He prefers to work more in the background so as to not draw attention to himself. With his friends, he’s actually very talkative, silly and goofy. He’s prone to anxiety and may tense up or feel attacked when put into frightening situations. Unfortunately he has self destructive tendencies and low self esteem and has a hard time due to that.
As a Love Interest: perfect little s/o shut the FUCK UP…. that is if u can deal with low self esteem and anxiety! He really really tries though! He’s also shy with physical affection but will warm up to it eventually with familiarity and trust. Very doting and randomly shows up with delicious food and takes care of u when ur sick. 8/10
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Name: Mathilde “Tilly” LaRue
Meaning: Mighty In Battle? Lol
Gender: Female
Pronouns: She/her
Height: 5’11
Birthday: January 16
Star Sign: Capricorn
MBTI: INTP-A
Sexuality: Bi
Favorite Food: Lentil soup
Drink: Black coffee
Magical Abilities: Divination, telekinesis, herbs, defensive magic
Ethnicity: From a large urban area with a large population somewhere in an area a bit cooler and rainier than Vesuvia. (think like. England)(in a modern AU think Afro-caribbean)
Family: Mother and Mother and an older sister named Topaz
Backstory: will be linked coming soon
Occupation: Court Magician (but like simply a well rounded witch who goes wherever the money is)
Hobbies: Exploring, foraging, reading
Familiar: A white ferret named Elle
Love Interest: Muriel
Description: Mathilde is a gentle and thoughtful magician. She is soft-spoken and hates raising her voice, and is often making bizarre and thought provoking side comments in most situations. She is curious and intuitive when it comes to magic and often able to use several methods to predict the future for others. She carries herself in a dreamlike/contemplative manner and does not really care what others think - She’s off in her own world. With friends, she has a good source of humor and gives good advice and is a very good listener. She has an affinity for animals and nature, and would generally prefer to be outside. She can tend to be unrealistic and naive and loses hold on her emotions in tough situations (angry crier…) and feels misunderstood by those around her.
As a love interest: Downright adorable. Sweet, will bring you cool items she found and very endearing. She’s also encouraging and surprisingly cheesy. Not outwardly clingy but if you let her she will. but good fucking luck starting to date her! She is extremely pretty and gets asked out almost every day, turning down 99.999999% of applicants because other people do not particularly interest her and her taste is insanely picky! 10/10 but FAT CHANCE
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Back to the job trail again! Thailand in 2020 and how I survive the discrimination?
So I took it long a while to stick with one place in 2020 after going back working from the south of my country (Thailand) where the hotel business used to be blooming in the past. I didn’t graduate with hotel tourism degree but I found it much likely to suit for my skills and personality. I remembered how I use to post a blog somewhere or in here about job applying past few years ago and now I’m back to this way again to just to find a happy and comfortable place to work and grown in my career.
Thailand is absolutely remembered by people the rest of the world to be a place that is very friendly for LGBTIQ community because there are lots of people like us here and living normally in the cities and towns. Sadly the reality is very different but takes long time to get better and more accepting for LGBT community and surprisingly not much the same of each community will gain more respect or acceptance in the sam level per year, compared to gay community, lesbian community, bi and pan sexual. Transgender community here is in the down low list after Queen or intersex and other gender like fluid gender or others.
Why? because in my opinion , if you were a gay person or lesbian, still some of you didn’t go change much in appearance, some just remains like the birth gender like gay man who dresses normally like a man or a lesbian who properly dresses like a normal woman. Unlike transgender people or other genders that got themselves into transitioning or changing or blending the gender as they express their identity and personality (very much complicated)
The point of how transgender people in general or who is like us like this will have a high chance to get rejected in some way when it comes to job application (unless you are super skilled and talented and unique so they will want you because your skills is high wanted as the physical isn’t the big issue to pay attention for HR or CEO or people who is involved in employee seeking). But it gets better nowadays in some country I understand. But if you count how many country that has rule to stop gender discrimination, it’s still in very few in the list. Of course, my country has some ACTS about it to protect us from discrimination but not much likely to be applied on every company as some do it low key to reject a job candidate. I was one of them who got rejected with one big organization in education in our country. Got me came and joined all interviews more than 3 times for example and asked me if I just dress like a man, cut my hair and only use the disability bathroom only etc.
With other issue like the beginning of our name on ID card that got me no chance to change from MR to MS because actually it’s the big part I cannot apply for a job with specifically request like Female ONLY or some other thing etc. I can apply but you know that appears on my Identity Document is MR XXXX XXXXXX and that’s a struggle.
Nowadays, lots of LGBTIQ movement here is still going but a little bit distracted by democratic protest FREE YOUTH in my country to give the pressure of the military government to leave the position and choose who people choose. So now in 2020, lots of democratic mobs are everywhere (Haha I joined them to because I really cannot stand the horrible team of government now). So now the Equality Marriage and Trans changing the title name act is now on the pause. Well I’m living in the time where we all new generation keeps on fighting for our future, LGBT is getting more accepting but still fighting and Trump or Kim Jung En whatever but back to my job trailing in 2020.
Still very challanging to get a job in 2020 and pandemic but still keep trying, the world in 2020 in my country is way more open but now it’s condition for other genders and isn’t from Binary like male and female, is like that when you’re LGBTIQ, you have to have more talents to break the discriminating walls with other people, it’s not fair but that how we got accepted and respect and get a job. But I hope in future the society start to give us more opportunities for starting a career to live for our life and survive, beyond the discrimination, hatred and binary.
I just got to another interview today in my town after 2 months and 1 month serious on tour for interview, switching between Bangkok and outside the city. I think if any place will want me to work, they just got to accept my identity obviously. And I just think that never mind to get rejected by some place because that’s how we show their concept of their organization. I didn’t want to work in a toxic place with hatred either. So if they don’t want me, it’s okay’ If they want me, be appreciated and do my best and happy.
I just felt like I need to write this, so please don’t be offended for using this space to vent out as I would like to encourage other girls around here , I know we all have different struggles and problems but I will tell you this world isn’t fair but we can choose to be happy with our one life as possible, much or less. Keep on trying, I’m sure I will worth someway as I believe it too , I’m always trying :)
#transgender#trans#m2f#mtf#trans blog#blogging#trans on job#trans in job#career#discriminate#discrimination
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note: :(( hi :(( i accidentally deleted the first one so :(( repost :(( also like disclaimer i’m not assuming felix’s sexuality schsjs this is pure fiction :] okay hope u enjoy it :] bc i really like it
warnings: coming out, kissing,
wc: 2.9k
years in between. fl
felix is 10 when he first meet you.
chris, felix’s older brother, came home from school later than expected.
another thing that wasn’t expected was you walking into the house with him, holding your backpack tightly. felix was sat at the dinner table with his dad doing some homework.
“chris? you’re home late,” his dad looked up from the work laying on the table. “who’s this?”
chris proudly introduced you as the new kid in his class and his new best friend.
felix’s eyes widened when he looked at you. you had a yellow raincoat on and a pair of worn out black sneakers, and you were slight wet from the rain. chris, on the other hand, was drenched.
“i fell into a puddle,“ chris admitted, his cheeks growing hot. nobody asked, but he knew they were going to.
his father nodded, a smile finding its way onto his lips, “you two should get dry. i’ll get some towels,“
as their father left to get towels, chris gestured for you to take your shoes and jacket off, while he did the same. he walked over to felix and ruffled his hair, “hey, lix,”
“hi,” felix smiled happily at his older brother.
“(name), this is my little brother felix,” chris introduced, his hand on felix’s shoulder
“hi, felix,“
you shot him a smile. a smile that would be engraved into his mind for a very long time.
felix is 12 when he comes to the conclusion that he’s bisexual.
he comes to the conclusion when he imagines kissing lee minho, his neighbor, for the nth time, after having a yet another daydream about how lovely it would be to date yoo jeongyeon, his math tutor.
tears were streaming down his face that night. he was supposed to like girls! and girls only! this could not be happening. he tried to stay quiet as he cried, to no avail. within a few minutes chris was hugging him tightly and running his hand up and down felix’s back to soothe and comfort him.
felix remembers stuttering and stammering what was wrong through the tears running down his face at a rapid speed. he remembers chan pulling him closer and telling him that it was okay and that he was still felix.
“but…” felix sniffled, “but aren’t i supposed to only like girls?”
chris gave him a resecuring and yet sad smile, “you can like whoever you want, lix,”
“really?”
“yeah!” chris gave him another smile, this time happier, “whoever you want! as long as they’re a nice person,“ he teased, pointing a finger at his younger brother.
(name) is a nice person, was the first thought that came to mind, but felix didn’t dare say it out loud, in fear of what chris would say.
chris ended up sleeping in felix’ bed, holding him tight.
the next day felix told his best friends, kim seungmin and han jisung. the pessimistic part of felix was sure they were gonna hate him and never talk to him again. but the response he got was far from that; they ended up cuddling on the couch in seungmin’s living room. seungmin busy wiping felix’ tears away and calming him down, while jisung made a fort and found all their favorite movies.
telling his parents was the hardest and chris knew that, so he made sure he was holding felix’s hand as tightly as he could, to give the younger one more comfort. chris was positive their parents would accept their youngest child’s sexuality.
felix, however, was not. he had made the mistake of telling chris he was fine, and therefore had to sleep alone the night before, leaving room to overthink.
the room got uncomfortably hot for felix, as soon as their parents sat down at the dining table, like he had asked them to.
“mom, dad,” felix began, tightening his grip on chris’ hand. “i’m...” he gulped, “i’m...”
felix closed his eyes forcefully. the words ‘i can’t’ repeated in his head, ‘they’re gonna hate me’
“i’m……..” the words kept getting stuck in throat.
“you’re what, sweetheart?” his mom asked, in the tone she usually had when she spoke to her youngest child.
“i’m bi,” he whispered so lowly only chris heard him.
“what?” it was their dads turn to speak, “felix, you know how we feel about mumbling,”
chris leaned closer to felix so he could whisper into his ear, “do you want me to say it?”
felix nodded without saying anything.
chris took a deep breath before speaking,“felix is bisexual,”
the silence that fell over the room made felix want to hide away and cry. he closed his eyes, not wanting to see his parents disgusted faces (and to stop the tears, that were threatening to fall). before he could stop himself the tears began to fall. the words ‘they hate me’ repeated themselves over and over again in his head.
he felt someone wipe his tears away. at first he thought i was chris, but the hands felt rougher. dad?
felix opened his his eyes, and through the tears he could make out his dads kind face.
“it’s okay, felix,” his dad rubbed his back to comfort him (the same way chris had done it when he first found out).
“you…you don’t hate me?” felix managed to get out, tears still falling.
“oh, lixie,” his mom stood up and walked over to the boys, “we could never hate you, okay.” she said, taking her sons hands.
that night felix and chris slept on the couches in the living room (their parent went to sleep in their bed, and didn’t want to wake their sons up), after a long evening of watching felix’ favorite movies and eating take out.
“chris?” felix whispered, twenty minutes after midnight.
“hmm?” chris on hummed in response. he was very close to falling asleep.
“thank you,”
“it’s nothing, lixie, i’ve got you,”
felix cuddle closer into his big brother, and fell asleep quickly. he couldn’t remember the last time he slept that well.
felix is 14 when he’s sure he’s in love with you.
felix didn’t know much about love.
he had never been in love. sure, he’s had crushes (like the ones he had on yoo jeongyeon and lee minho), but they never lasted longer than a few months. the one he’s had on you, however, has lasted for 4 years…but he wasn’t sure if it was love or if he just found you cool and good looking.
he became sure that day a carnival was in town, and his parents had taken him and chris. after trying a bunch of rides and eating very overpriced and unhealthy foods, chris had spotted you and waved you over.
you were with your dads family, felix learned. you had ruffled his hair and given chris the usual hug.
“hi, chrissy,“ you said, hugging your best friend, before ruffling felix’ hair, “hi, lix,“
lix… you only called him lix, never felix, or fefe like jisung did when he wanted to tease him. it made his heart beat faster than it should, and usually left him kinda dizzy.
“h-hi, (name),“ he stuttered, silently cursing at himself afterwards. why did he have to stutter? why couldn’t he talk normally around you?
your dad’s family and their parents had begun to talk, leaving you, chris and felix to go on rides by yourselves. you ended up in a ‘coffee cup ride’, where you sit in a coffee cup and spin around.
felix gulped slightly as he sat down in front you. you gave him a smile, the one that always made his heart pound.
“you nervous?” you asked him.
“on-only a little,”
why did i have to stutter? felix groaned inwardly at himself.
“it’s okay, lix, i am too,”
felix gave you a shy smile and the ride started. felix felt the wind run through his hair, it felt nice. he could barely open his eyes, as the ride continued. he was well aware that he was gonna get dizzier because he closed his eyes, so he forced them open.
the first thing he saw was you. your smile was wide and your eyes curled up, as you held on tight on the table in the middle. you looked so happy and free. felix was sure everything seemed to slow down, as you laughed happily.
the sight was the most beautiful felix had ever seen.
his hands began began to move closer to grab yours unconsciously. before he could realize it he had grabbed it and you had given it a squeeze in return, without looking at him.felix felt himself begin to sweat a little at your touch.
you had held his hand before, but that was when he was a kid and still needed to hold somebody’s hand when he crossed the street.
now he was a grown up….okay, no, he wasn’t, but like every 14 year-old he liked to think he was.
is this what love feels like? he asked himself, as he kept watching you laugh and smile as the ride kept going. his heart was pounding, his cheeks was red and hot, and his stomach was filled with butterflies.
felix didn’t know much about love, but from what he’s read and seen in movies, this is what it feels like.
felix is 16 when he gets his heart broken for the first time.
felix wasn’t hungry, but chris was. and felix being the younger one of the two had been forced to go get the food.
chris had given felix the address to a small chinese restaurant, around 15 minutes away from their home.
felix actually didn’t mind getting the food. he liked going for walks, they cleared his head. his head that was filled with thoughts about you (and maybe the homework he had gotten).
the door to the restaurant dinged quietly as it opened. felix stood and scanned the restaurant for a moment. a family of five sitting, two girls, an old couple, a couple of friends, nothing too exciting. the foods scent got to felix, making his stomach grumble. okay, maybe he was hungry after all.
he went up to the counter, got the food and paid. he was happily on his was out when a guy—a couple of years older than him, if felix were to guess—walked through the door, slightly bumping into felix on the way.
“oh, sorry,” the guy gave felix an apologetic smile, to which felix just gave him a nod and a, “it’s fine,”
felix walked out the door, when his phone vibrated. he pulled it out of his back pocket as he stood outside the restaurant.
from chris: can u get some soda too uwu
felix made a grimace at his brothers use of uwu.
to chris: only if u promise me that ure never gonna say uwu again
from chris: fine :(
from chris: btw do u see (name)??? they should be on a date there right now w their boyfie
felix’s heart sank as he read the text. a date? you were on a date? felix quickly looked into the restaurant, through the big windows. his eyes found you easily. he found you just in time to see you pull the same guy that bumped into felix in for a kiss; the kind of kiss felix wished he could give you.
felix felt sick. while he didn’t have any real hope you liked him, he still wished you did. he tried to tear his eyes away from you, to no avail. you saw him and waved, but the only thing he wanted to do was cry. he waved back unenthusiastically, and gripped the bag with the food tighter. he ran home. felix hated running.
when he got home he threw the bag on the couch beside chris, and went to his room, ignoring chris asking how much he owed.
felix threw himself onto his bed. he had no expectations and was still let down. of course you didn’t like him, he was just your best friends’ younger brother. he tried to distract himself—both from you and his grumbling stomach. it didn’t work all to well.
felix went the bed early that day, hungry and heartbroken.
felix is 18 when he has his first kiss.
it was with hwang hyunjin, his best friend (seungmin left to study in america and jisung malaysia).
felix didn’t feel embarrassed over the fact that he didn’t have it before. if he was being completely honest, he thought it was overrated (and kinda gross).
hyunjin had kissed people before, but it was something that only lasted 5 seconds. he approached felix nervously, asking if said boy could help him get better at kissing only for felix to tell him that he hadn’t even had his first kiss yet.
this shocked hyunjin probably more than it should. felix was very popular with both girls and boys, and had been on plenty of dates throughout his life, so the fact that he have never kissed somebody came as a shock.
“really?”
“yeah,” felix shrugged, laying down on hyunjins bed. he wasn’t sure why hyunjin looked so shocked.
“really?” hyunjins mouth opened and closed resembling a fish.
“yes, hyunjin,” felix repeated, “i’ve never kissed someone before,”
hyunjin thought for a bit before talking again, “can i kiss you?”
felix choked on his spit, “what?” he coughed, as hyunjin hit him on his back.
“can i kiss you? like can i be your first kiss?”
“w-why?”
hyunjins eyebrows furrowed, “what do you mean why? i wanna get better at kissing and i’m sure you wanna know what it’s like to kiss,”
“but..but we’re best friends?” felix sputtered.
“yes, meaning we trust each other,” the older boy rolled his eyes, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to obviously,”
“no, we can do it,”
“are you sure, lix?”
“yes, hyunjin, we can kiss,” felix rolled his eyes, but his heart was full of love. he knew hyunjin wanted to be completely sure he wasn’t doing anything felix didn’t want to do.
“okay then,” hyunjin nodded, slowly connecting their lips.
it was a short kiss…actually it was more of a peck. just a quick touch of their lips.
“was that okay?” hyunjin asked nervously, he really didn’t want felix to feel uncomfortable.
felix nodded. he didn’t feel anything, just hyunjin’s lips on his.
“wanna go again?” hyunjin asked.
felix shrugged, “sure,”
this time, the kiss was different. it was deeper, and felix is pretty sure some tongue was involved.
kissing is overrated, felix thought. he was following hyunjin, letting the slightly older boy take control. this time, felix pulled away first.
“how was that?” hyunjin ran a hand through his hair, messing it up.
felix shrugged again.
“don’t shrug,” hyunjin whined, making felix chuckled at his friend. “was it nice? was it too much? was it not enough? was it—“
felix cut hyunjin off, “it was fine, overrated, but fine,”
hyunjin giggled, “overrated?”
“yeah, i mean it’s nice, but i don’t get all the rage,”
“thanks, lix,” hyunjin giggled again, leaning in for a hug.
felix happily responded to the hug, “it’s nothing, jinnie,”
felix is 20 when he learns that kissing is nice, but only if it’s with you.
kissing you was something felix had always wanted to try, and after 10 years—it felt like 50—he got the chance.
you weren’t his first kiss, nor were you his second (he kissed park siyeon for a dare during a party), but you were the most memorable one.
he hesitantly pulled away, the feeling of your lips on his lingering. he let out a sigh of content, “that was…”
“that was something,” you giggled.
your giggle made felix feel warm inside, the same kind of warmth you’ve always given him. “i like you,” he blurted out before he could stop himself.
“i know,”
felix’s eyes widened, “you know?”
“yeah, you’re not very good at keeping secrets,” you shrugged with your usual smile.
“but…but that means…that chris knows as well?”
“yes, he knows,”
felix could feel his face get hot. not only did you know about his crush on you, but chris did as well, “i’m...i’m sorry,” he faced the floor ashamed.
“lix, you have nothing to apologize for,”
he put his hands over his face “i made you feel uncomfortable,” his whine was muffled by his hands.
you furrowed your brows, “who told you that?”
“what?”
“who told you that your crush on me made me uncomfortable?”
felix’ held shut up, “n-no one, i just thought...”
“felix,” you sighed, grabbing his head and titling it so he face facing you, “it doesn’t make me uncomfortable. at all!”
“it..it doesn’t?”
“no!” you shook your head, “in fact….it makes me very happy,”
the look on felix’ face me you laugh; he looked, lost and hopeful, “w-what?”
“i like you too, lix,” you giggled, hands still on his cheeks.
“what?!”
“i like you,” you said, squeezing his cheeks with every word.
“you do?” felix was over the moon, he felt like he could do anything and everything. “please don’t play with me.”
“i promise you, i’m not,”
the smile that broke out on his face was heartwarming. his eyes curled up and nose scrunched. he leaned in to kissed you, trying to contain his smile.
kissing you was better than he could’ve ever imagined. he could feel you smile into the kiss, and it made his heart pound faster than it ever had.
in felix’s eyes kissing is overrated, but not if it’s with you.
#stray kids#stray kids scenarios#stray kids scenario#stray kids imagines#stray kids reactions#stray kids x reader#stray kids au#skz scenarios#skz scenario#skz imagines#skz x reader#lee felix lee#felix lee scenarios#felix lee imagines#felix lee x reader#felix scenarios#felix imagines#felix x reader
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Hi omg 🥺🥺 I was wondering if you could do a nct 127 reaction to their bisexual latinx s/o dressing alternative and being activist? Like going to blm activities and equal rights and pride I'm sorry if it's too specific 🥺 ilysm 🥺!!!
no problem at all my love !!!! ilysm too, thank you for your request!!
Moon Taeil
the proudest boyfriend ever. this is a common fact for everyone in nct. everyone, taeil included, would be so proud to have a girlfriend like you.
your no. 1 supporter! though it’s harder for him to attend protests for example because sm sucks and deserves to get their ass beat, since they can clearly rip off black artists but not acknowledge/help them, he still does everything in his power to support you!
need help with getting there and there to attend a demo? you got it! need a helping hand with drawing leaflets? you got it! write down ways you can safely protest and hide your face? he’s already making notes on a hk protest video!
Lee Taeyong
like taeil, taeyong is very supportive and goes out of his way to help you! he likes helping you with posters and other little things that can be helpful for protests - some solution for when you get teargassed, for example.
y’all have seen the way he stands up to his managers lmao. though it would be a little harder than exposing his managers on vlive, he’d still try to help on sns in a subtle way. a lysn bubble update with the date of the blm demo, maybe... very inch resting, ty doesnt know how that got there.............
in terms of dressing alt, you’ve got yourself a fanboy!! our fashion icon taeyong adores your sense of fashion and always watches you pick out fits. wants you to shop for him, aswell!! they’re such cool looks!
Seo Johnny
man the way he would be EXPLODING from pride. that’s his gf right here!!! his perfect little activist gf saving the world!! catch him crying in a ditch johnny loves you so MUCH
since he grew up in the states and experienced those problems firsthand, johnny would definitely make an attempt to join you on protests. whether that’s blm, pride or equal rights. he believes in you and he believes in those causes. will definitely get in trouble for secretly attending a demo with you!!
the biggest fucking ally ever omg. whether it took you some time to tell johnny or saying it right at the start, he supports you for your sexuality and never once makes you feel weird about it. nor insecure! he just fell in love with you HARD
Nakamoto Yuta
MAN... y’all already know yuta would join you on every. single. demo. he’s the loudest protestor on the goddamn street. I SAY LESBIAN YOU SAY ALLY. watch him raise up a lesbian flag and yell profanities at homophobic ass people
yuta is already so so vocal with his open support for lgbtq and others!!! this man is a feminist to the blood, to the bone. you got yourself the perfect boyfriend ma’am. hot and educated? goddamn
y’all are that activist power couple that is cheered on every protest!!!! he supports you! your causes are his causes!!!!! literally the perfect match
Kim Doyoung
this is so self explanatory i’m gonna CRY from laughter. everything about this man screams ally. will beat anyone up that belittles you for your sexuality, or anyone else in that matter
that vlive where the czennie talked about an unrequited love and he went “it could be a boy loving a boy, or a girl loving a girl, we don’t know that.” man....... kim doyoung, your hand in marriage juseyo??
like yuta, he is right beside you aiding your beliefs. he loves you so much, it’s only fair he does the best he can to support you. i love him
Jung Jaehyun
this man is so in awe at your fashion sense he literally annoys your ass for ootd pictures. spams you until he gets all the deeds. very obnoxious but also very cute, it’s quite an ego boost to have the jung jaehyun as a hype man!!
it’s not a big thing to him that you’re bisexual - he acknowledges it and supports you with all his heart. no matter what your sexuality is. there’s not a single inch of you he doesn’t love or adore or support. he literally has love beams shooting out of his eyes !!
has to be physically restrained to not attend demos with you LMAOOO, there’s a picture of him floating on sns where he raises you up so your poster is seen. power couple coming through to support blm and pride!!! move, homophobes !!!!!
Kim Jungwoo
jungwoo is someone i think who’s a little clueless to the causes you’re fighting for - not in an ignorant sense! i don’t know how to explain it, but i think jungwoo would realize through you what problems the people around him face, and then it’s just one big shocking realization for him
after that, he becomes an avid supporter!! again, sm is trash, but jungwoo would still try to spread your message about protests and petitions that can help. quite literally does not care if he is punished or not LMAO
is the first one to beat a mf’s ass up for fetishizing your bisexuality. that’s his queen and other queens/kings you’re insulting bitch, better get ready for an ass beating
Dong Sicheng
tbh i don’t see him reacting that much to you being bisexual??? i mean sicheng supports you 1000000% but it’s not a life-changing thing. you’re still his perfect y/n, who he loves with heart and soul.
as a chinese idol in nct, he would have it the hardest to support you. but that does not stop him, even though it gets dangerous every once in a while. my heart hurts thinking about how sm treats him hhhhh i’m gonna cry
again, the proudest boyfriend ever!!!! i know i’m kind of repeating myself, but they’re all just supportive! sicheng loves you so much and is filled with so much pride that his girlfriend is fighting for whats right. his heart aches to be with you on the streets :(
Mark Lee
the biggest himbo ally ever LMAODJSHSH. i’m so sorry for the slander mark but that’s the first thing that came to my mind 😭😂
gets quite literally angry with you at the problems in the world. like sicheng, he wishes to be with you marching through the streets. equal rights should be a given and it makes him so mad that people have to protest for them. so mad!
does whatever he can to help you. mark lee is so in love with you, he’d drop anything and everything to help you. say the word and he’ll do it! i’m soft
Lee Donghyuck
y’all know that one tumblr post? he’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit? yeah that’s donghyuck HDHDBDB
like mark, he is so utterly confused why the things you’re fighting for aren’t already a given?? i??????????? his girlfriend is literally a latinx bi queen, and she’s AMAZING. openly bashes people on sns for biphobic, homophobic, or anything else discriminatory on that matter.
though he’s a little clueless on how he can help you, he still tries his best! not only does he ask you, but also his foreign czennies. hyuck makes the effort to spread your messages to k-netizens, and though it’s hard since sm sucks ass, he still shows open solidarity. that’s his girlfriend protesting on the streets, together with all the people who fight to make things right. he’s gonna make sure your voices are heard.
#lee taeyong#moon taeil#seo youngho#seo johnny#johnny suh#nakamoto yuta#kim dongyoung#kim doyoung#jung jaehyun#dong sicheng#kim jungwoo#lee mark#lee minhyung#mark lee#lee donghyuck#nct 127#nct 127 reactions#nct 127 x reader#lee taeyong x reader#moon taeil x reader#seo youngho x reader#seo johnny x reader#johnny suh x reader#nakamoto yuta x reader#kim dongyoung x reader#kim doyoung x reader#jung jaehyun x reader#kim jungwoo x reader#dong sicheng x reader#mark lee x reader
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Cheerleader Sleepover
Was just sitting here reminiscing about some of my high school days and joining the cheerleading squad. I was 16 and looking to spend one year as a high school cheerleader. I began talking to the cheer coach and the other cheerleaders, a couple of which were friends of mine. Once the conversation moved from casual to serious, the cheer captain and co-captain came to me and explained some of their rules and how to get into the cheer squad.
Part of being on the squad was eating the captain and co-captains pussy and making them cum. I though to myself, “well that will be easy”. i am bi-sexual and have fucked a number of women, not that they knew that. Another rule was I could not fuck the captain of the football team, he was only for the captain of the cheer squad. “Well, okay”!
Before football season started, or at least the games, us girls decided to have a “sleep over”! We would be at the captains house, her name is Kim. Kim’s parents would be out of town from Friday until Sunday. The only instruction was clean up what ever mess we made and no boys. I had to be careful, these girls thought they had experience but nothing compared to what I had been doing since that first time for me.
Kim’s parents left after all of us girls had arrived and been given instruction. We made some popcorn and we were going to watch some scary movie. I was told to wear a sexy nightie for my initiation. I went to VS and purchased a black baby doll. I didn’t want to appear slutty. During the movie, the co-captain Samantha (Sam) opened a bottle of cheap ass liquor. I am used to drinking top shelf and this crap wasn’t even on a shelf. Sam had actually bought like 4 bottles of this stuff, I was going to have to do something about this tomorrow.
We started drinking and drinking and drinking and before long, we were all drunk and now the time had come. Without fanfare or foreplay Kim looked at me and said “alright newbie, get over here and lick my pussy”. Sam moved over next to Kim and said, “you can eat my pussy as the same time”. Now we are talking about some fun. If I can get these girls to squirt, I will dominate the squad.
I began as instructed and slid in between Kim legs and began nuzzling her pussy. She wasn’t shaved but had a little triangle patch right above her clit. I moved in and began kissing her thighs and licking very close to her pussy lips. Kim exclaimed, “I told you to lick my pussy”! Kim had no idea what in the hell she was doing. I looked at her and said, “you just lay back and enjoy the ride”. She did and I resumed. After a few minutes she was squirming and her clit was not erect. I moved to her clit and began licking, nibbling and then sucking on it like it was a small cock.
Kim began to squirm and then buck her hips. I wrapped one arm around her hips to hold her in place. Sucking on her clit hard now and inserted a finger into her pussy and began hitting that G-Spot. She was absolutely screaming now and I was going hard on her pussy. One of the other girls, Brandy began playing with herself and massaging Kim’s right tittle. I thought, “okay, things are about to get buck wild if I’m not careful”. I kept going on Kim’s pussy and after about 20 minutes of giving it my all she began to cum. I looked around and all the other girls where playing with their pussy’s and each other’s tits.
Kim began to cum and I hit her clit and g-spot hard and massaged her abs at the same time which caused her to began squirting. Kim lost it!!! She began screaming, “I’m cumming, I’m cumming!!! I did not let up though, I kept going so she would and could ride that orgasm roller coaster. After about another 15 or 20 minutes she began to calm down and then in the end relaxed. Kim looked me in the eye and said “what the fuck just happened to me?” I told her she came so hard she squirted.
Kim’s eyes were glazed over. She had no idea what the hell was going on but she grabbed my face and pulled me up to her and kissed me to deeply and passionately. The other girls just sat there, no sure what to say. I looked at Sam and said “Sam, I believe you are next right?” Sam couldn’t respond, so I said, “I need a little break here, so go ahead and take your panties off and I will be with you in a few minutes.” I needed another drink before I got in between her legs.
Kim and Sam were both really beautiful girls. Both were tall at about 5’8” and about 115 lbs. Both were about a 34B with Sam probably a 34C. They were so close in size they could have been sisters. Both had long brown hair and brown eyes. I was about to find out Sam’s pussy was closely shaved too but instead of a triangle she had a landing strip. Both had french mani / pedicures.
I returned with my drink and sat down next to Sam. She looked nervous as hell. Brandy was still sitting next to Kim and horny as hell. I asked Kim if she was okay and all she could do was nod. Her abs were still convulsing occasionally. I moved down to Sam’s legs and pulled her were she was now laying down. I grabbed ahold of her thighs and started on her. I basically did the same thing with her I did Kim but it did not take long and she was squirting. Sam screamed and bucked just like Kim did. Kim reached over and started playing with Sam’s breasts and nuzzling her neck.
Brandy reached over and playing with Kim’s nipples slipped a hand down and began playing with Kim’s pussy too. Kim was oblivious to everything and was just swimming in her own thoughts.
Sam was cumming so hard and like Kim, I wanted her to ride that roller coaster; so I continued my licking, and sucking her clit. I slowed down and so did Sam. Brandy was now cumming just not squirting. Kim was cumming again and she WAS squirting. I left Sam and moved over to Brandy to help. I hit Brandy’s clit and g-spot hard and within a minute or less, Brandy was squirting.
Brandy began bucking hard and Kim was writhing around on the floor. I eased Brandy back down from her high. Now 3 girls were completely drained and I was extremely horny. I rolled over and began to play with my clit and within a few minutes I came too. I squirted a little but nothing like I can.
I grabbed my glass and took a drink of the swill Sam bought. While I was taking my break after Kim I called my mom and told her what was going on. I asked mom to bring some good alcohol and leave it on the porch. Of course mom asked if I was having a good time, “yes mom, I am having a wonderful time thank you.” I think mom knew what was going on but didn’t say anything.
I opened the front door and mom had dropped off a bottle of JD, and Tequila plus a couple of bottles of Merlot. I grabbed the bag and brought it in to the house. The girls got excited. Well the girls who had not cum yet”. I was only supposed to do Kim and Sam but wound up doing Brandy as well. Brandy was hot. Brandy was about my size with long red hair and deep blue eyes. Brandy was a little dingy though and I can play the dingy bimbo.
I did not wear my heels as I thought that would be a dead give away. Brandy, Kim and Sam all came back down to earth and all of us began doing a couple shots of Tequila. Kim started, “Lisa, where did you learn to do that?” I explained to Kim I had seen some of the girls on porn do it and began researching how to squirt and I thought no time like the present. We all laughed and then the others girls began asking how it felt to squirt. Kim, Sam and Brandy explained to the girls how it felt and then of course they all wanted a lesson on how to do it themselves. So here comes the show and tell portion of the weekend. All of us payed with ourselves for about an hour and each one of us was able to squirt. Some squirted a river and other just a little bit.
We all laid there on the floor in the living room spent. After about 30 minute Megan got up and put on another movie and Jessica (Jess) made another bowl of popcorn. When Jess came back with the popcorn, Beth crawled over to get some. Beth is beautiful. Beth is about my size but with smaller breasts, about a 36C. When she crawled over to Jess to get some more popcorn, I seized the opportunity. Beth only squirted a little bit and I could tell she was a little disappointed.
I moved behind Beth while she was bent over with her ass in the air, spread her ass checks and buried my face in her ass licking her asshole. She threw her head back and said “holy fuck” and then bucked. Megan asked her “how does that feel?” Beth said, “Oh my god, if feels so fucking good!” I reached around and played with her clit some. She began rubbing my face with her ass burying my face and tongue deeper.
I needed both hands to spread her ass cheeks so I had to leave her clit. Megan took the cue and reached under Beth and began playing with her clit with one hand and her own pussy with the other. Jess started playing with Beth’s tits and nipples. It was a full on Beth moment and then out of nowhere I feel someone licking my ass and pussy. It was Kim playing with me. While all this was going on, Brandy and Sam played with each other.
We were all fucking each other. Hands were roaming and tongues were licking while moans of ecstasy where heard throughout the house. This went on for about an hour and everyone came and everyone squirted. My concentration was Beth and I made Beth scream and gush. Megan laid underneath Beth and we got drenched with Beth’s cum. Of course when she came back to earth we all shared each others cum and ass kissing deeply and passionately.
We all collapsed on the living room floor. We were holding each other only as lovers can. All of us obviously slept in Saturday morning. As we began to stir, we decided to eat something, so with all of us in the kitchen and dividing tasks we made a wonderful brunch. We all sat and ate with no one really speaking about last night. I broke the ice! “Damn Beth you came a ton last night and your pussy taste sooooo good!” Everyone laughed and started talking about the events of last night.
We continued to eat and finally finished our brunch. We talked all through the brunch about our feelings. We also discussed what we wanted to happen this day. We all agreed we wanted to continue where we left off. I could tell Jess had something on her mind so I asked, “Jess what is it honey, what is on your mind?” “Does this make us lesbians?” None of us were virgins but none had the experience I did or had been fucking as long as I had. “Jess, do you like boy and making love to boys?” “Of course I do” said Jess. “Then you are bi-sexual sweetie and isn’t it wonderful? You get to be with the best of both worlds.”
That day we or should I say, they experimented while I taught what I knew. We all came and came and came. We were so wore out by the end of Saturday / Sunday morning. Of course we took some breaks, after all we needed to drink and eat some. We had to clean and air out the house as it definitely smelled of sex, and we had no boys over for the weekend. We all left right after lunch on Sunday but cheerleading practice changed after that weekend as did any sleepovers we had with one another.
I still wasn’t allowed to have sex with the football captain but the others were full game. Brandy asked me about Jim. I explained to her he had a beautiful cock but it was kinda small at only 4 inches erect. She nickered some and said thanks. She was thinking about fucking him and that just convinced her to tell him no. Kyle was a different subject. He was hung and his cock was absolutely gorgeous. But that story is for another time. Brandy and I both fucked Kyle but not together. Well another time…
Love and Kisses,
Lisa
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Love Maze »7
Previous » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 5k ▎ ch.warnings: cursing, second hand embarassment because it’s so damn cheesy & fluffy, discussions of sexuality, violence(Tae’s abusive father).
Co-writer: @velvetwicebang ♡♡♡ Banner made by my lovely @ppersonna ily ily ily
Namjoon was standing idly, leaned against the wall in the midst of people with a drink in his hand, eyes immediately widening when he spots the two boys approaching him.
Jungkook already felt embarrassed, the entire situation hadn’t quite hit him until now that their captain had caught them completely naked.
Along with Namjoon knowing, maybe he might’ve told Jin..
Also Jimin— Hoseok, too.
And Yoongi eavesdropped.
So far, everyone was aware of the pair’s earlier whereabouts..
Mark’s guest room.
“Hey, guys! Uhm, how are you?” Yoongi said chirpier than usual, and Taehyung already knew they were fucked. The mint haired boy barely smiled, at least not to the extent where his gums could be seen.
Tae’s body gravitated to Jungkook’s side, his stance still unsteady whilst his narrowed eyes suspiciously raked over the familiar faces of his hyungs.
Fuck, why did this have to happen to him?
Could he even talk to them again? Even less be in the same room?
“What.” Taehyung broke the silence with a straight-face, crossing his arms over his chest.
Namjoon wearily glanced at their surroundings, “Well.. we were going to leave the party and eat out at some fast food place. If you’re not too tired— Which, why would you be? Shit..”
He rubbed at his nape before continuing, “What I’m trying to say is.. want to come along? We want you both there..”
The Captain mumbled, as if saying that no matter the trauma his eyes went through, Kook and Tae were still loved.
Maybe Jungkook already knew that, but something told Namjoon that Tae wasn’t as comfortable.
Taehyung seemed to think about it for a long moment, gaze worried. He’d just told Jungkook how he felt, plus now all of their friends knew they were having sex..
He still needed to figure out where to go from here, in terms of Kook and him..
Hell, he didn’t even know what he wanted. Tae liked Jungkook just.. in secrecy.
“I dunno.” Taehyung shrugged, “Kook, do you wanna go?”
Now they really seemed like a couple; he asked the younger what he thought, as if he wasn’t interested in going if Jungkook wasn’t going to be there. As if they came in a pair..
He really wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall, badly.
Jungkook seemed a bit less troubled by the fact that all of his hyungs seemed aware of what was going on between the two boys. He was open about his own sexuality after all.
However, that doesn't mean he wasn't flustered everytime Namjoon made eye contact with him.
Kook stood close to the elder, serving as a physical support in case his sore body decided not to obey his movements.
His head quickly jerked in Tae’s direction of the sound of his nickname, considering his question before responding,
"I'm starved, I could go for some food."
He wasn't lying, he had barely eaten before the party and now all his energy was spent fucking-- he needed food.
He just wasn't sure if he wanted to spend some more time alone with taehyung...was his body even okay? He went really hard on him..
In the end, Jungkook decides, a weird feeling filling his senses when it seems like Taehyung would want to do whatever he chooses. He nods at his hyungs, Namjoon mimicking the nod,
"Cool, yeah you need to eat especially after-- ah let's just go!" Namjoon stuttered out, internally cursing his big mouth.
As Taehyung limped behind the rest of the boys, making sure to stay close to Jungkook, Mila approached him.
“Taehyung!” Her icy eyes glared into his chocolate-colored ones, coming over with the intention of interrogating the shit out of him, but that was put on the back burner soon enough.
“What.. what happened to you?”
She questioned, seeing that Tae looked weaker than usual, legs wobbly as he walked.
“Did— Did he beat you up?” Mila pointed over at Jungkook, remembering Namjoon’s words from a few minutes ago. She guessed they must’ve had a feud, which ended in a physical fight.
“Taehyung, baby..” The woman cupped the boy’s sullen face, brushing his fringe away from his eyes to look at him more clearly.
“Mila—“ He tried to speak but she wouldn’t let him, shushing him gently.
Was she that desperate?
“Taehyung, Jungkook!” Jin whistled at them, trying to give them an excuse to get the hell out of there. “I’m starving, you know I get moody when I’m hungry!”
“I gotta go..” Taehyung shrugged, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his pants.
Mila stared at him dumbfounded, watching as Tae left her behind with a blurry vision.
It didn’t make any sense..
“Fuck, that was close.” Taehyung mumbled to the younger as they made their way to his car, bidding goodbye to the rest of the boys for now.
Shit. He regretted parking a few streets down..
In the midst of their calming walk, Taehyung snuck a few glances at Jungkook, trying to be subtle despite him never being good at that..
“I had fun.” The elder shrugged his shoulders, not trying to sound cheesy or anything of that sort.
“..Did you?”
As he was mildly annoyed yet amused by the entire Mila scene, he was relieved that they finally made it out of the suffocating building to head back towards the car. He kept his pace a little slower than usual, meaning sure he kept his form next to Taehyung.
Speaking of Taehyung, who suddenly seems full of surprises today. Since when would he ask Jungkook what he thought? Twice.
And not to forget the fact that Taehyung, for the first time, had mentioned that he's got feelings for the younger male.
Jungkook gazed over at Tae, a small smile on his lips forming due to the sweetness of that question. It was silly-- but he enjoyed that if he felt like his opinion mattered. And, after the confession, some of the elders actions automatically seemed to be of different meaning than when he didn't know.
"One of the best nights of my life."
Kook felt a little brave, blaming it on the alcohol, letting his hand chase for the elders to delicately grab it in his. It was dark out, barely anybody around... why not hold his hand? He craved it, almost as much as craving his body. It was much deeper than that.
The elder shook his head, stifling a chuckle of his own.
“That’s a little bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”
Nevertheless, Taehyung secretly agreed with Jungkook. Aside from the random boy puking buckets in the restroom, it was a pretty awesome night. Scratch that, the best night.
Expecting the surprisingly comfortable silence to linger for a little longer, Tae yelped when he felt something brush against his hand, only to relax when seeing that the ‘something’ was attached to Jungkook’s body.
The elder looked at their surroundings, making sure that no one was close. He was glad that it was dark out; Taehyung’s face was a hue of red.
But then again, if Jungkook caught him, he’d just blame it on the cold.
“Come on, let’s hurry..” Tae bit down on his lip, squeezing onto the younger’s hand before pulling him along to his car.
They’d settled for McDonald’s, where they met Namjoon and the rest of the boys at one of the enclosed booths in the corner.
It seemed big enough for all of them, and even if it wasn’t, they were going to have to make it work.
Taehyung slid into the middle, holding back a groan when he’d been so careless to his butt’s feelings. And it was feeling pretty fuckin’ hurt.
“That lady keeps glaring at us..” Hoseok pouted, eyeing the older woman behind the counter who looked like she would rather be in hell.
“Of course she is, Hoseok. We literally came in thirty minutes before they closed.” Jimin sighed, taking a seat.
“Well, we better make those thirty minutes count, huh?” Namjoon smiled, glancing over at Jungkook and Taehyung. “It gives us enough time to talk..”
God, the elder was /horrible/ at being subtle, even worse than Taehyung.
Jungkook loudly slipped through the straw of his soda, preferably he’d just not have this conversation at all. He feels like he's had so many revealing moments in the past few weeks that he swears at this point confrontations were just a part of his daily life.
He glances at Taehyung, knowing that even if they know-- even if /he/ knows how tae feels, he is absolutely useless at communicating himself. So, in a sense, he needed this 'group meeting'.. whether he wanted it or not.
"Was it good?" Yoongi blurts out noncommittally, however a small spark of interest lingered in his eyes when he looked at the boys. It didn't last long though, both Jimin & Jin kicking at his leg below the table.
Kook leaned forward a little bit, his doe eyes moving across the table until they land on namjoon. Of course he looked like he was about to explode from word vomit.
"Just ask, hyung, you look like you're about to burst."
Drawing small chuckles from the group, Namjoon takes a quiet deep breath before he throws out his first question. It might be terribly inappropriate, but not knowing for certain was gnawing at his senses.
Of course, before he managed to open his mouth, Yoongi's voice once more asked out loud what everyone was initially thinking, no beating around the bush,
"So, you're both gay?" All eyes flickered between the two boys, slightly more focused on Taehyung. They already know kook is gay-- but Kim Taehyung?!
Taehyung nearly choked on his chicken nuggets.
“No.” He was quick to shoot everyone’s suspicions down, “I mean.. I’m not gay.”
A few seconds later, and the elder didn’t seem so sure.
“Fuck, I-I don’t know.”
Taehyung stuffed his face with some more food, too embarrassed to meet anyone’s eye. He didn’t know who he was, all he knew was that he kinda, sorta really liked Jeon Jungkook.
Maybe he was Kook-sexual. Surprisingly, that made the most sense to him..
“Well, you know. You can be bi, pansexual..” Jin encouraged, stealing one of Tae’s nuggets.
“I don’t know, alright?” Taehyung playfully slapped his hyung’s hand away, guarding his food.
Can these thirty minutes go by even slower?
The elder felt like he was in the middle of an interrogation, and in some way, he was.
Why was his sexuality that big of a deal? It’s not like Tae’s one to flaunt it wherever he went.
The boy just wanted to eat his chicken nuggets in peace.
Jungkook quietly listened in on the conversation, chewing his double burger with a content hum, until, finally, it was his turn to have the attention turned to him,
''Kook,'' Jimin was curious, ''What happened to Ash? I thought you two were a thing--'' He got interrupted by Namjoon, ''Yeah, I thought so too?''
Now everyone stared at the youngest, his eyes widening as he could literally feel his body freeze at the mention of his name. The memories were still fresh, the fear ingrained in his chest in the form of anxiety. He takes a deep breath,
''Not a thing. He's a psycho.''
Jungkook was straight to the point, cold and it was obvious he didn't want to speak further on the topic, the message duly noted by the group. Namjoon cleared his throat after a few seconds of worry, they surely didn't know what had happened. Only the two boys knew.
''Well... What about you two?'' His eyes flickered between Tae & Kook
“What about us?” Taehyung relaxed after having brushed off Ash’s name, his shoulders no longer tense, and his face no longer morphed into a scowl.
“He meant if you guys are together.” Yoongi nonchalantly clarified, “Since, you know, you were fucking.”
Everyone went silent. Partly because of shock, and the other from anticipation.
“Uh..” Taehyung glanced at Jungkook, not knowing the answer to that question himself.
“It’s none of your business, hyungs.” He sipped on his strawberry milkshake, mind still clouded with confusion.
Were they together..?
No, Kook didn’t say anything.
But he did confess..
Jungkook was probably over him.
“Well, let’s start off here.. When you think of Jungkook, what comes to mind?”
Jimin suddenly turned into the love expert, crossing his legs before leaning further on the table.
Taehyung raised a brow, amused by Jimin’s facade. He hesitated whether or not to answer, but Tae guessed there was no harm in doing so..
“Fine.” He sighed, feeling defeated. Tae’s back sank back into the booth, gaze glued to his thighs to make everything a little more bearable.
“When I think of Jungkook.. I think of asshole.” A smile tugged at the corner of his lips.
“An asshole that I’d purposely picked on since third grade.. because I wanted to talk to him. I didn’t know how else to get his attention.”
He fidgeted with his fingers. “I really liked his eyes. Still do. I think that’s the first thing that drew me towards him, physically. But.. the more I talked to him— or picked on him, I learned that he was witty.. and still, such an asshole.” Taehyung chuckled, taking a small pause. “I like assholes, though—“
“Figuratively and literally, huh?” Hoseok wiggled his brows.
“Hyung, please shut up.” Tae glared at him, shaking his head before continuing. “Anyways. I guess Jungkook can be kind. He’s dorky. He’s pretty..”
When he felt himself begin to blush, that’s when Taehyung stopped. Truth is he had a lot more to say, but it’d probably take the whole night.
Tae continued to drink his milkshake, looking at the table instead of at his smiling hyungs.
“Okay..” Jimin tried hard not to giggle. “What about you, Jungkookie? What do you think of Tae?”
Jungkook was already a flustered mess at the way Taehyung had suddenly opened up and verbalize his feelings in a manner that the younger has never heard. ever. Even if it included the word asshole at least four times.
Nobody has ever said such things about him, and for that person to be Kim Taehyung.... Was this real life? Jungkook had to squeeze his thigh to make sure it was.
''What about you, Jungkookie? What do you think of Tae?'' Jimin suddenly caught the youngest's attention with his singsong voice.
''I hated him, and lo-... liked him at the same time,'' Jungkook pauses, his hands holding on to his own thighs to keep himself grounded. He really was such a mess of emotions, even though he rarely wanted to speak out about them,
''He's blunt... honest, and even if he was an asshole to me this entire time, he never pitied me...'' It was an important fact, that he wasnt treated like a fragile butterfly by everyone simply because of everything hes been through. And the fact that Tae wasnt aware of his struggles, was only a good thing.
''Just... I feel safe with him.'' Jungkook nods to confirm his own words, a soft smile pulling on his lips at the memory of Taehyung literally running, dropping everything to come get him when he needed it.
''And... I let him pick on me all this time, because I enjoyed it..'' Kook made a face, it probably sounded weird to say, ''I didn't think he'd give me any other kind of attention, and since I liked him, it was good enough.''
Another pause, the boys' mouths hanging open as they are completely focused on what the youngest was saying, Hoseok clutching his chest at the moment,
''He just makes me feel safe, and that he cares.. in his own way...And he's always been really easy on the eyes.''
If he was still munching on his greasy nuggets, Taehyung was sure that he would’ve actually choked on them.
At the moment, he settled for biting on his straw. Anything to not unglue his eyes from the table. He felt the tip of his ears turn red, as well as the apples of his cheeks.
Why did this have to uncover with their hyungs present..? But then again, Tae thanked the lords that Jimin opened up his mouth.
If it wasn’t for the smaller boy, he would’ve never been able to fawn over Jungkook’s words. Even if he didn’t show it.
“It’s getting kinda late..” Taehyung looked at his invisible watch, glancing up at Kook for the second time.
Tae was still shy, but he didn’t like to admit it.
“You ready to go?” The elder tried to not let his voice waver, still sipping on his milkshake as a distraction.
Jungkook quickly nodded, his cheeks feeling just as hot from this entire situation of exposure,
''Yeah.''
He wobbled up on his legs, bowing to his hyungs as he waited for Taehyung to follow suit, ''Uh, see you guys tomorrow.'' Kook murmured, his eyes not failing to notice the group of boys wearing various versions of a smile on their lips, others more surprised still by this entire thing.
As Taehyung got up with him, they walked side by side to exit the McDonalds, heading towards the car. As soon as Kook was able to sit down inside of the vehicle, isolated from the outside world together with Tae, he let out a deep, relieved sigh, that contained all of his anxiety that he'd held in the entire dinner. All of this information is still a lot to process, yet not that hard to digest.
Taehyung did like him.
He glanced over at the elder as he sat down carefully, kook internally blaming himself for the soreness in tae's body.
''I don't think I've ever seen you so flustered.''
“Shut up..” The elder timidly grinned, “Kim Taehyung doesn’t get flustered.”
He carefully sat his treasured strawberry shake in the cup holder, moving around in his seat until he found a position that his butt was happy with.
Tae’s body was still so sore..
“So I’m easy on the eyes, hm?” The boy decided it was his turn to tease Kook, resting his head back against the headrest whilst he stared out of the window.
He didn’t feel like driving right now; the sky looked too beautiful to ignore.
All of the stars had seemed to come out from their hiding spots and shine down on them.
Namjoon and the rest of the group had already left, which left the pair alone in the McDonald’s parking lot.
Jungkook breathed out a chuckle through his nose, leaning towards the window to enjoy the view. The stars surely were bright tonight, and it was beautiful.
Something about seeing all those stars made Jungkook feel so small, and it calmed him down.
''Yeah, you are.'' He murmured, his big doe eyes in awe at the bright night sky, the glimmer in the distanced orbs of fire reflecting into his dark eyes,
He could feel words stuck on his tongue, he wanted to ask... Indulging in the small silence for another moment, he decides to just... say it,
''I really... really like you.''
Instead of looking at the stars in the sky, Taehyung stared at the star next to him, his twinkling eyes slightly enlarging from Kook’s abrupt confession.
“Jungkook..” The elder gulped, overthrown by different emotions all at once.
Happiness, scared, fear, embarrassment...pride. It was overwhelming, but just enough for Taehyung to still endure it.
“I really.. really, really fucking like you too.” He admitted for the second time that night, feeling a clench in his chest.
Leaning over from his seat, Tae rested a hand on Jungkook’s thigh to balance himself before kissing the faint scar on the boy’s cheek, pulling away to gaze into his eyes.
Fuck, this was so cheesy. But maybe cheesy wasn’t all that bad..
Jungkook turned to face Taehyung the second after he felt the soft warmth of his lips against his cheek, his big doe eyes staring into the eyes of the very man that's been the culprit of stealing his heart.
A wave of every single emotion he was capable of feeling swirled in his chest, washed away from the small, simple touch of Taehyung's lips on his cheek-- leaving nothing but affection left to stay.
''Do you...'' he pauses, his hand settling on top of Taehyung's hand settled on his thigh, nervously smoothing his thumb over the elders knuckles, his eyes flickering between Tae's,
''Want to date me? Like... be my..'' He couldn't finish his sentence, it felt like his heart was about to burst through his ribcage. He's never felt so nervous about asking someone out before. Honestly, he's never asked somebody out before. How the fuck to people do this frequently?
“Be your..?” For the first time in a while, Taehyung giggled from the butterflies roaming freely in his stomach.
Who would’ve thought that Jeon Jungkook would be asking him out in the McDonald’s parking lot?
Tae wouldn’t have it any other way. The setting was perfect, even if Jungkook hadn’t gone all out. After all, everything was so sudden.
The elder preferred this much more, just the two of them..
“Your boyfriend? Your friend? Your fuck buddy?”
At this moment, Taehyung indulged himself in the present. Their problematic past didn’t matter, and he was sure that their future would be fine.
Even though the whole dating scheme was new to him, Tae was willing to give it his all.
The latter still couldn’t believe it.. How did a rough, lust-filled night turn into something so sweet?
Taehyung would never forget this moment; he wouldn’t allow it.
Jungkook couldn't help but let out a snort at Taehyung's words, scrunching his nose as a toothy grin adorned his lips,
''All of the above. Do you want to be my boyfriend?'' He finally had the courage to say it, finally, officially ask him the big question. To clarify whatever this was once and for all.
With a restrained nod of his head, Taehyung broke the unwanted distance between their lips.
He kissed Jungkook sweetly, only focusing on how soft he felt against his mouth.
The other hand that wasn’t placed on the boy’s thigh was cupping his face, drawing Kook deeper into the kiss.
When Taehyung finally pulled away, a string of saliva still connected the two of them together, that’s when Tae voiced out his answer.
“Yeah, I do. ‘M not too sure about the fuck buddy part though..” The elder hummed playfully, stealing another peck before situating himself back on his seat.
McDonald’s suddenly had a /whole/ different meaning..
He was indeed ‘Lovin’ It.’
“Okay, we should go now.” As if he was still in a trance, Taehyung started his car.
The boy took one last look at the stars, and then at Jungkook, wanting to engrave this corny moment in his head.
When he felt like he’d saved the mental image, Tae happily drove off towards Kook’s apartment.
Jungkook nods, unable to wipe the dumb smile off his face, feeling like a giddy child on christmas.
During the somewhat silent drive, all he heard was the rumbling of the car engine, and Kook took every chance he got to glance over at Taehyung in between watching the streetlights flash by.
He felt good, free.. Happy...For the first time in who knows how long.
Jungkook had a boyfriend.
A real boyfriend.
He almost vibrated in his seat at the thought.
“Okay, get out of my car, Kook.” Taehyung joked once he’d parked in front of Jungkook’s apartment, part of him not wanting to say goodbye quite yet.
But, he should. His father was probably home, ‘worrying’ to death about his son’s whereabouts this late into the night.
Yeah, that was funny.
No, Tae just needed to get home to save himself from a beating. It was weird, really..
His father gave zero shits about him, yet he still demanded he was home by a specific time.
Taehyung just hoped that he was passed out drunk. He wanted to sneak up to his room and replay the day’s events all over again.
“Hey..” He hesitantly wrapped his fingers around Jungkook’s wrist, tugging at his arm.
With a quick look at their surroundings, making sure that no one else was around, Taehyung finally looked back at the younger once again.
“Are you really going to leave me without a kiss?”
Tae was serious, he wanted a good night’s smooch from, well.. his boyfriend.
It still felt weird to say that, or even think it..
But, something told him he’d get used to it pretty quick.
Jungkook raised his eyebrows when Taehyung said those words. It really was so new to head and see him act this way... but kook liked it. His heart felt so light when he leaned back in to place a soft kiss on Taehyung's lips, letting it linger for a little longer. He wishes he could just bring the elder in with him, but... his parents must worry about him.
Now that kook thinks about it, he doesn’t really know much about Taehyung's personal life— except for, well, being a part of it himself now.
Either way, the night had to come to an end.
“Goodnight, Taehyungie..” Jungkook brushed Tae’s fringe away from his eyes before placing one last, chaste kiss on his lips.
“I’ll see you tomorrow~”
Kook opened the door, stepping out of the car and walking up to his front door, all while glancing back at his boyfriend over his shoulder before shooting a wide smile, followed with a small wave.
He really could get used to this.
One last look at the car, and kook decided it was time to head inside, it was way too cold to stand and say goodbye for too long, he just wanted to go sleep, so that he’d be able to see taehyung tomorrow again.
After waving back at Jungkook, Tae drove off to his house with a smile temporarily sketched on his face, still feeling the soft touch of Kook’s lips on his. Still replaying the boy’s nervous confession in his head.
He was so happy..
The happiest he’s been in months, really.
And all because of the male he’d once despised, or pretended to.
Could the night get any better? Taehyung doubted it, Jungkook wasn’t by his side.
“Ah shit,” He disappointedly sighed to himself, scolding his cheesy thoughts.
“Is this what a relationship does to you..”
Grabbing the half-empty milkshake, Tae brought the chewed-up straw up to his lips before carefully opening the front door.
He peeked his head inside, quietly stepping in when he realized that his father was passed out on the couch, some show playing on the TV.
After taking off his shoes, Taehyung was about to tiptoe his way up the stairs when the snoring had come to a sudden stop. Confused, he looked back into the living room.
His father had woken up from his slumber, drowsily surveying around the room when his piercing eyes landed on Taehyung.
“Son..” The older man slurred, still dressed in his work suit as he approached Tae on unsteady feet.
He was drunk.
“How was school?”
He was very drunk.
Taehyung clenched his jaw, “It’s 11:23 at night, dad.”
Thankfully, the man didn’t seem to be in one of his moods. He was out of it.
Tae hated himself for worrying.
“Ah.. well, it was a very long school day.” With a soft chuckle, he stumbled back into the kitchen, aiming for the fridge.
Taehyung saw this and he quickly followed after him, knowing what he was searching for.
The man tried taking a hold of another beer when Tae stopped him, softly taking a hold of his wrist so as to not anger him.
“Dad.. I think you’ve had enough, okay? Uh, maybe tomorrow.”
The older man scoffed, pulling himself away from Taehyung’s hold.
“I’m an adult, I can do whatever I want.”
His fingers itched to touch the cold bottle, but Taehyung was there to stop him. Again.
“What’s your problem?!” He grew annoyed, angry with Taehyung for trying to control him.
Just like him, Tae grew annoyed as well.
“What’s my problem?” He repeated, as if it wasn’t already obvious enough.
“My problem is that you can’t see you’re a fucking alcoholic! That’s my problem.” Taehyung’s chest heaved, already over the edge.
“Why— Just why can’t you see that shit is killing you? You’re obli-“ Before he knew it, his body fell to the floor.
His father had thrown a punch to his jaw, causing Tae to lose his balance.
He’d banged his head pretty hard, and when Taehyung finally took complete notice of what was happening, it was already too late.
The older man sat on top of him, repeatedly pounding his fist into his face, eyes dark like the devil’s.
Taehyung groaned in pain, taking the hits. He was too frail to try and defend himself, so he didn’t.
“P-Please..” The boy weakly begged, fresh blood oozing down his face.
He wanted to cry, but he didn’t want to give his father the satisfaction.
“Next time you think about telling me what to do, don’t.” With one last harsh kick to his stomach, his father left him alone on the kitchen floor, bleeding and shaking.
Taehyung’s gaze was empty, dull.. lifeless. Every emotion was drained.
A tear rolled down the side of his eye, and he didn’t bother wiping it away.
His father was gone, he could cry. It was okay.
Minutes later, Taehyung dozed off to sleep, too weak to bandage his wounds.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Jungkook had a completely different night compared to Taehyung, spending it giddy, replaying the events of their entire day at least a thousand times before he managed to actually fall asleep.
He really wished that he could have fallen asleep with Taehyung, and this time wake up next to him as well. Hopefully that would be a reality soon enough.
© sombreboy 2020. Do not repost, edit or translate.
#Fic: Love maze#Taekook fic#Taekook series#Taekook school au#Taehyung x Jungkook#Taekook fluff#sombreboy
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Yuletide Letter 2020
Hi! I am also ardentaislinn on AO3. Thank you so much for volunteering to write one of my chosen fandoms! I really can’t wait to see what you come up with. Most importantly, I hope you have fun writing whichever of my fandoms it is. Any suggestions I make here are optional.
Here you’ll find:
My general likes
My DNWs
And prompts for the following fandoms:
Peninsula: Train to Busan 2 (2020) - Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin
Stranger | 비밀의 숲 - Hwang Si Mok, Han Yeo Jin
Kingdom | 킹덤 - Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi
Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018) - Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee
A quick note on the Korean names - I’m fine with however you choose to transliterate them. Hyphen/no hyphen, Shi Mok/Si Mok, etc. Just do what you are comfortable with and I’ll adjust no problem. No need to add the honourifics, though
My likes:
I love getting together fics most of all. I love almost every kind of trope (fake dating, slow burn, rivals-to-lovers, “unrequited” pining (that is really requited), found families, etc.) Also, casefic, epistolary fic, consent, forbidden pleasures, beta heroes, bed sharing, masquerades, military kink, physical imperfections, ladies being badass and female relationships (whether romantic or friendship), relationships that build tension before exploding, equal relationships, trapped together, competence, communication, U/RST, positive endings.
You may notice from the below that my ships mostly involve sweet and occasionally broken men being head over heels for awesome ladies, (and usually not feeling worthy). So that dynamic is strongly encouraged.
I also like smut, but it certainly isn’t a necessity. For smut, I’m (sadly) fairly vanilla. But I like light bondage, cunnilingus, shower sex, and accidental/consensual voyeurism, (Particularly guys taking matters into their own hands when they think they can’t be with their lady, and the woman stumbling across him mid-act. Possibly my favourite kink ever? Writer’s choice whether the woman joins in or gets embarrassed)
Happy endings (or at least hopeful endings) are preferred. Like, super, super preferred. I don’t mind angst at all, but it kinda has to be on the way out of the darkness by the end.
Dislikes/DNWs:
Miserable endings. Major character death. Baby/Pregnancy fic. Humiliation. Drug use/drug mentions/addiction. Self harm/abuse. Non-con/rape. Heavy kink. A/B/O. M-Preg. Incest. Bestiality, animal harm etc. Underage sexual content. 1st person POV (unless for epistolary). Not big on high school AUs or Rock band AUs. Unbalanced power dynamics in ships without acknowledging/exploring that. (This effects one particular ship below, which I’ll discuss in more detail in the fandom section).
I think that’s it?
And so, to the fandoms, in no particular order:
Peninsula: Train to Busan 2
Jung Seok, Min Jung, Joon Yi, Yoo Jin
While maybe objectively not as good a film as the first one, I still enjoyed the hell out of it. Given that it was essentially a cross between Escape From New York and Mad Max, what isn’t to love? I loved the expansion of the world and the clever uses of zombies in the chase scenes. And I loved that the message was that being logical and self-sacrificing isn’t always the right choice - sometimes you should be driven by heart and empathy. And I really liked the idea that anything can mean happiness when you love and are loved in return - particularly in regards to Joon Yi, but also Jung Seok (and his found family?).
What would interest me the most in this fandom is post-movie fics. But if you wanna do a canon divergent/au thing, I’d be cool with that, too. Some prompts:
Joon Yi struggles a lot more than her sister to readjust to a “normal” life
In order to stay together after being rescued, Jung Seok and Min Jung have to pretend to be married
After four long years of loneliness, Min Jung just wants to be touched
Jung Seok isn’t surprised to find himself in love with Min Jung - and wanting to be a father to her girls - but is he good enough for them? He’s left them behind once - can he forgive himself? Can Min Jung?
The zombie plague escapes from Korea - and Jung Seok, Min Jung, and her girls are the closest thing to experts on how to fight back and contain it that the authorities have. Will their nightmare never be over? Or is this a chance to end it once and for all?
With Min Jung in hospital while her leg heals, Jung Seok suddenly finds himself a surrogate father to two very unruly girls.
Stranger | 비밀의 숲
Han Yeo Jin, Hwang Si Mok
This show is just so good, and Si Mok and Yeo Jin - and their relationship - is a big part of that. He’s logical and doesn’t feel things the way most other people do, but that doesn’t mean he’s given a free pass to be an asshole. He’s a good man who always does what’s right. And Yeo Jin is just as smart as he is, and equally committed to doing what’s right, but in a different way. They make a perfect team.
I love how much they absolutely, completely, trust and respect each other. Si Mok cares about her as much as he is capable - probably more so than he cares about anyone else. There isn’t any drama or jealousy or anything like that in their relationship. They are both practical adults. But it doesn’t mean they don’t have a deep bond. I do ship these two - and would love getting together fic if you can!
Prompts:
Yeo Jin will probably have a tough time of it from now on. How will Si Mok support her through it?
How will Yeo Jin and Si Mok keep in touch now that he’s moved away again? Late night phone calls that slowly become more intimate? Texts or emails (epistolary style)?
In the last episode, there was a hint that Si Mok had a prophetic dream. What if he really did develop a power? And Yeo Jin was the only one he trusted with the truth?
What if Yeo Jin and Si Mok had to travel somewhere for an investigation - and there’s only one bed…
Si Mok isn’t incapable of noticing when a woman is attracted to him. But what if that woman is Yeo Jin? Do they try to make a friends-with-benefits arrangement work? Or do they like each other two much for that?
Everyone already knows Yeo Jin and Si Mok are close - but why do their friends suddenly think they are dating? What’s changed? And how do they stop the rumours - without disappointing all the friends who were hoping they’d finally become a couple?
Yeo Jin had drunk one too many shots of soju and thought she might never see Si Mok again - so she’d jumped his bones and snuck out before he woke, full of regrets. But what happens now they have to work a case together again?
Feel free to bring in the other characters, too, as long as Yeo Jin and Si Mok remain the focus! I love the various dynamics they have with the people around them.
Kingdom | 킹덤
Prince Lee Chang, Seo Bi
Like with Si Mok and Yeo Jin above, so much of what I like about these two is that they are great characters separately - but work so well together as a team. They trust each other. He has great faith in her abilities and respects her so much. And she is loyal to him and respects him in return because she knows he’s a good man and a good leader.
I also love how the show uses both politics and horror elements, both to best advantage. It’s so well-written and compelling.
Now, I can see how this ship skirts close to my “no unbalanced power differentials in relationships” DNW, since he’s a prince, and she’s very much not royalty, so I thought I would clarify my position on this. I would most like fic set after he gives up his place in the royal family, since I think that mitigates basically all the issues. Even though I don’t think he would have intentionally abused his power over her, and Seo Bi was never particularly deferential to him, it still would have effected the relationship. Now that they are on more equal footing, there may be some lingering, residual issues surrounding this, but I feel like it’s at the level of bringing some interesting angst into the equation without feeling icky, if that makes sense.
Prompts:
Lee Chang and Seo Bi are somehow transported into modern day Korea. How will they adapt?
Both Lee Chang and Seo Bi have seen horrifying things - and they have the nightmares to prove it. How do they help each other through?
I feel like there are a million stories you could tell within the time jump at the end of the second season. Seo Bi and Lee Chang are travelling together, but no doubt keeping their mission to find the resurrection plant a secret. Are they pretending to be married? Is there anything Lee Chang has to adjust to now that he’s no longer, technically, the crown prince? How are they making money? Is Seo Bi hiring out her medicinal knowledge, while Lee Chang sells his sword? How far will they go to find the answers they seek?
The properties of the resurrection plant are still largely unknown. What horrors will they have to face next, now that another outbreak is looming?
Lee Chang decides that Seo Bi needs formal fight training - and takes it upon himself to teach her.
What moments of levity can they find together amongst the horrors?
Lee Chang knows he shouldn’t think of Seo Bi in that way - they are colleagues, and despite everything he is still from a royal family. He needs her too much to risk everything because of his desire. But oh, how he wants her…
Illang: The Wolf Brigade | 인랑 (2018)
Im Joong Kyung, Lee Yoon Hee | Kim Seo Hee
So much about this movie is absolutely my jam. The action scenes, the exploration of what desperation can drive people to, the unclear loyalties that are slowly revealed. That whole sequence when they first meet and spend time together is like a distillation of so many of my favourite things. He sees her and is just instantly gone on her. And she for him. And from then on it’s just a quiet, intense longing between them. They are so aware of each other, every sense drawn towards the other. But he’s so broken, and he sees himself as more animal than man. And it’s revealed that she has equally deep wounds, too.
An argument can be made that at least some of it was an act, of course. They were both trying to deceive each other after all. But I think it’s pretty obvious that there were real feelings there, particularly because she tries to warn him that he’s walking into a trap, and he comes back to save her. Maybe even they don’t know how deep their feelings go, or the other’s feelings, but the audience knows.
And yet...I’ve seen it twice now, and the ending is still no clearer to me. Like, is he dead? It doesn’t seem like it, since both she and her brother saw him at the train station. But maybe he’s like a guardian angel now? And if he’s not dead, where did the shot come from? A hidden gun? The sniper? And most importantly of all, if he’s not dead...why aren’t they together??? Like, aren’t all the potential impediments to their relationship gone by that point?
So, I guess most of all I would like fic that makes more sense than that ending - preferably by giving them the happy ending they deserve.
Prompts:
Joong Kyung watches over Yoon Hee from the shadows - but she always knows he’s there. How can she convince him to come into the light, and back into her life?
Yoon Hee’s brother gets himself into trouble, and the only person she can turn to for help is a man she hasn’t seen in too long - Joong Kyung.
Joong Kyung now walks the line between the living and the dead, but he can’t stay away from Yoon Hee. (Paranormal/magic AU?)
Has there been too many lies between them to make a relationship work? Neither think they are worthy of the other, but when they are pulled back together (to give evidence for an official inquiry?) they can’t quite keep their distance.
Joong Kyung is on the run, and he doesn’t know who to trust - except the one woman he’s never forgotten.
Misunderstandings and lies abound between them - but what happens when they are trapped together and must wait for rescue?
If you don’t want to do a post-canon fic, how about canon divergence? What would have happened if the phone hadn’t rung in that warehouse at that moment? Might Yoon Hee have told herself that she could use her body to prove her loyalty to him? And might Joong Kyung have told himself that it couldn’t hurt to succumb - that it didn’t mean anything?
I think that’s everything. Thank you so much!
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HC pt. 3
Story Time! with the bat fam
The bat language!
It's just glares and different forms of glares. Semi-glare. Glare. Glare-glare. That's about five sentences.
Ravin has cracked the code and communicated with them. They understand why Raven could but not how Mari understands them.
They are very confused because this little flower shouldn't, like why??? She wears her heart on her sleeve and you can tell when she's angry or sad. Dick and bruce do it but Mari catches them.
Unknown to them, when Mari wants to be, she can 'cut' off her emotions.
.
.
.
.
Mari found Damian to be semi-attractive. Damian was like eh, she's another girl.
But he was about 5'11 at this point, and for years to come, he would grow. Mari, herself, is barely reaching 5ft. She considers herself lucky that she even reaches 5'5.
She was 20 when she did.
She is very angry at taller beings than her. Dick is 5'11 while Jason is 6'3, Bruce is taller than both of them.
Mari hates them all. Jason still calls her a bean, even when she has him in a choke-hold during a sparring match. Mari will not hesitate to throw hands. Instead of mellowing out, she did the opposite.
.
Jason Todd has had sex with Talia before and he hangs it over Damian's head for years.
As a challenge, he brought it up in front of Marinette. Any other time Damian would have left but since Mari was here, he couldn't. Damian stayed but Mari was like
“Why???" Tugging, cause they were holding hands. "Mari, lovebug, Malak, Habi Alghali. Let's go." Mari is a dissatisfied bean. Reluctantly follows Dami away.
.
.
.
The Outlaws consisted of Kori, Roy, and Jason!
When they hang out they always have ‘baked’ goods. They were eating edibles in the city but they somehow made their way to the manor for munchies. Alfred asked if they had any left.
Assuming to part with them, they lied and said no. (they always do)
Alfred still searched the trio moved the treat around. Some sour straps, molly ranchers, and a joint.
Alfred took some straps and popped them in.
"Wait, Alfred, that's-" "I know." They will never forget. Bruce semi-believes them.
High!Mari
Mari never took a stance on cannabis. "Too young." was the excuse often used when talking about it. She was 16.
She knew what they did. It wasn't until, Gotham, that she got real experience with edibles.
Roy accidentally gave her 300mg of cannabis.
"I got brownies!" Roy came in the room, granted it was one of Jason's many hideouts and they had agreed to hang out before Mari was dragged away.
"Jason, Let's get blazed!" Roy kicked the door in and Mari took a stance, Jason got out his babies and pointed them at the door. "Uhh." Roy slowly backed out, Jason put away his guns and Mari bounced in excitement.
"Brownies!" Plucking one from the bag, Mari smelled it first. "Mari, no." Mari turned, then plopped it in her mouth, stuffed her hand in the bag and took a bunch more.
Eating 3 more and stuffing some for Tikki. Jason sighed deeply. "Dammit." It sweet chaos for Mari after that.
First, an anxiety attack then bliss. She was never afraid of heights from being Ladybug, and that just added more fun for Mari.
Damian doesn't find out until he calls Mari.
Because Mari was supposed to come back and hang out, they promised. No, Damian was not upset by the fact that Jason is not better company than him.
Not at all. Damian is superior in every way! His ringing phone brought him back to reality.
"Mari, get away from there!" That's Jason. Marinette was giggling and Damian could here the wind.
"No way, Jose," Roy shouted in the background. "Who's jOsE?!?!" Marinette laughed loudly and Damian was starting to question his existence.
"Mari, Baby girl, Demon tamer. Get off the ledge." There was an eerie silence. "Oh, that reminds me. Hi, Damian."
That's it. "Ya Qamar Barid, I'm coming to get you." Marinette started to sob at that. "I MISSED OUR MEET UP, DIDN'T I???" Damian was already driving off, he traced the call.
"No, not at all Habibti. I was just thinking about where we should eat out." Marinette stopped crying.
"Really?" Damian confirms. "Mhm." "Je vais à la pizzeria que je veux, amant.* ” The call ends and Damian is NOT panicking.
(I go to the pizzeria i want, lover.)*
Marinette hanged up and jumped down to the apartment below. "MARI!!" Jason was going to lose so many years of this. This small bean should be very afraid.
Jason jumped after her with Roy following on the other side. "Oh, shit. Mari!" Roy regrets everything leading up to this point. At first, it was funny, seeing anyone try for the first time is.
Jason caught up to Mari, who has made it down 4 apartments. They were on the 5th floor.
Almost went splat on the pavement a couple of times.
Damian pulls up in one of the many cars, he's hot-wired before. Mari doesn't notice she's trying to climb down from the first floor to the ground. She jumps to a flag and misses.
Damian catches her before she hits the ground. "Damnit Habibti."
Marinette giggles. "I would have been fine, you know that." Damian carried her back to the car, Mari's complaining the entire time.
Once she's seated in the cold car, she promptly falls asleep.
.
.
.
.
.
Lila causes problems for Mari, on purpose but for the wrong reasons.
To spend time with her. Lila is never going to admit that she likes or even remotely revolves her world around Mari. Max points it out to Mari and has tried to get Lila to confess.
Likes to make Marinette mad. When her cheeks go red Lila accidentally lets out a, “She’s cute.” Mari turned to her. “What?” Lila panics and shouts. “I said you’re shit!” Mari is a very confused bean.
The only reason why this is brought up is that they make Lila have Sociopathic tendencies. Like Oni-chan didn’t make sense. Why let go of Adrien? Willing? Better question, why only focus on Mari? Unless you know. . . . . . Just saying.
.
A lot of mini ships. Like Alix x Chloe.
Alix and Chloe are secretly dating. Sabrina covers for both of them when it’s date night. Alix’s parents know that she’s gay but not Chloe’s. She doesn’t know why she’s scared.
But she doesn’t like that way her dad dismisses gay pride parades. Marinette helps her come to terms and even helps go through her emotions and to come out.
Still doesn’t come out until very much later. Uses Adrien as an excuse. Adrien knows what she means.
Chloe's mother is alright, you know ,gay pride. She joins the parades and makes small nods in her designs.
Eventually Max x Kim!
Alix and Kim are best friends and they help each other out because they always get the wrong advice.
Max and Kim ‘got together’ because Kim didn’t want to date Odine. Max doesn’t think they are dating.
So Kim makes an effort for their relationship and friendship. Alix dared Kim to date Chloe on valentine’s day, Max was there. He didn’t even hear Chloe’s answer but that didn’t matter because, at that moment.
Max heard and Kim understood why he felt like ‘that’ around Max. Max said congratulations and that just broke Kim's heart. Max is not very good at emotions.
"Mom already has enough on her plate." "I don’t need to trouble her." Max to Kim at some point.
Very later. Marc x Nathanial! Fw/B at 17
Nath only shines when art is involved. Has done sculpting and embroidery lessons from Mari, because he doesn’t want to be limited to one form of expression. Digital music is not his thing. Instruments on the other hand. Band nerd.
Sneaks into Higher writing courses. The teachers let him. He’s so talented in creating a universe from nothing. Marc had let the director of the ‘LB and CN Movie.’
Look at some of his stuff but once some criticism on Twitter started to get deleted for some reason, Marc asked around. Bad plot and all, he dismisses the story “Astruc” approved and did another one. Just because he made one good thing doesn’t mean he made the rest just as great.
Yes I am dissing Thomas
.
.
I am changing this.
No relationship. Luka helps Kagami realize that not everything in sexuality is as black as white because im a sucker for Les Kagami and Bi Luka. They can find happiness with people.
Emotions? What’s that. Barely there. No chill. Whatsoever. Sarcasm? Come again. She can make sarcastic jokes but won’t know it if it hits her in the face.
Knows exactly what you're talking about but at the same time doesn’t. Can’t relate. It’s very frustrating because she won’t disobey without feeling guilty. Mari, Adrien, and Luka help tear down her walls and ‘need to approve’ attitude. A lot of walls around her heart.
Adrien doesn't like or feel any attraction besides strong feelings.
Demi? Or Ace. Maybe Ace.
He is very disappointed when he doesn't feel explosions or fireworks when he kisses Lila (It was for a shoot, maybe audition.)
Parents fighting? Middle of most argument. Afraid of failing his father because his mother was like that?
The acting was put on hold but she would sneak out for auditions. Natalie helped her sneak out. He can’t trust Gabrial but trust his mother's judgment and maybe Natalie.
He doesn’t know what to do because Mari is, best friend and Lila don’t like Best Friend. But Mari said it was okay when it wasn’t! Proud owner of at least one brain cell.
Eventually Rose x Juleka!
Very concerned with Juleka’s being. She wants Juleka as more than a friend but if Juleka isn’t comfortable with it.
Then she can wait until she’s ready. Her father supports but her mother doesn’t. She makes fun of her depression.
World of patience. Rose and she aren’t dating but they are saving for each other. Juleka was delirious when this happened. She’ll never admit her feelings. Worried about how people would act.
And of course Alya x Nino once Alya gets her head on straight.
These are mini-stories. I'm going to reference these and mention them when I can in the story.
.
.
.
.
.
Bruce has movie nights.
No one knows where it is or what movie he watches. Alfred has an idea, and the boys keep trying to find where he goes. It's been so long since he's had something nice in his life.
He... adores his... children. To some extent. Okay, a lot.
But that didn't mean he could show how much he... loved them.
Regardless, they bring trouble where ever they go. Finally getting the conviction to watch a movie, he kept the tradition every chance he got.
Marinette accidentally found him at one of the run-down movie theaters around Gotham. A new movie she was excited for was already released in America but after Sams Club™
She never allowed them anywhere near her in a public place. It was chaos last time. She memorized the way to this theatre and avoided all the cameras. She checked, multiple times. On patrol.
Both, Mari and Damian, are 16.
Bruce is 38, Jason is 24, Dick is 26, Tim is finally 21. Dami is a winter baby. December. Mari is a Fall baby. October 8th.
.
.
.
When Adrien and Mari hang out together, Mari loses one brain cell While Adrien gains one.
They can never get anything accomplished if it doesn't involve the miraculous in some way. Mari was talking about a recent design, Adrien was in the middle of drink soup on this cold day.
Marinette stopped talking as Adrien struggled to get a single noddle in his mouth. Mari opened her mouth to try and say something, but Adrien managed to get the noodle in and grinned. As if, he just got the best Christmas gift, ever.
Mari lost if after that. "A-Adrien!" Clutching her stomach, Mari continued to laugh, Adrien joined in laughing at the slurping noise he made Nino walked in a moment ago to them laughing. It was lunchtime and they went ahead of the Alya and Nino.
.
.
.
.
.
Fu is a touchy subject with Marinette.
After the left with his past lover, he shortly passed away. Marianna wrote a letter back to Marinette and that just broke the Dam she built around her emotions.
Chat Noir revealed to be Adrien to destroy the Akuma after her.
Mari, as the newly appointed Guardian, didn't take away his miraculous. No one else was able and she didn't want anyone else to break down from the weight of responsibility.
Chat Noir took his duty with more dignity and less comical after the reveal.
I just saw the Chat Blanc trailer and.. I had this idea before but omg this is weird.
Let's.
Not.
Get.
This.
Bread.
Like most of this is going to be in Book 2. Book 1 is set in Paris, following Marinette. Book two is in Gotham, following Damian
#Maribat#marinette x damian#daminette#damian x marinette#Maridami#mari#marinette dupain cheng#headcanons#Cool
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What kookie wants kookie gets sjlsgdfj. I do also like the idea that namjoon will be the first though. I can imagine him being like ‘humans? Apes? No. bonobos.’or wtvr and just having a big sex big brain moment and creating the biggest sex biggest brain moment with the oc!! Like!! I’m living for that!!! So joon and jk are going to be either first or second for me lol. [2]
Jimin and oc do also need to work some stuff out though. Yes they did talk about it, but i need more resolution goddamitt and while fucking all of the dudes is fun for oo sexy fun dirty talk i think it will also take little jimbo a bit to adjust to the idea, potentially causing another falling out between him and the oc (rip) and i can see a similar situation happening with yoongi. He. hmm. It’s different to suggest signing a relationship form for one mans to signing forms with everyone. [3]
I think jimin will probably sign third (second if we’re lucky 🤞) and yoongi will be fifth or sixth. {end paragraph} Which leads me to a certain mr kim taehyung. I think he’s going to be the one with the most internal struggle regarding not only the forms with oc, but his horniness for the other crew members. I do think that he’s potentially “in love” with the mc, but Also jimin. @all of the people who are saying it’s jimin and not oc, you’re not wrong, but you sort of are. #sorrynotsorry. [4]
So i think that tae will be either last or fourth after talking about his emotions with somebody (coughjimincough) and just. Letting himself be a whole ass bi vibe (bibe)(bive??)(it’s a work in progress) {end paragraph} Hoseok is also going to be very conflicted, but from less of a gay panic pov and more professionalism. He wants to be a good little space boy, but he doesn’t realise that he can be a good space boy who isn’t sexually frustrated. Yet. [5]
I can’t say exactly when hoseok will sign (because he deffo will like. This is an ot7 fic. It’s inevitable) but he’s somewhere in the second half. Or maybe last because you like to make us suffer in our thirst :(. Can’t blame you though skshafjlglf. {end paragraph} Speaking of not being able to say exactly when,, i literally. Have no idea. When jin will sign the papers. You’ve made yourself a little wild card here, bee. [6]
Ew tumblr told me to wait an hour before sending anymore asks but it’s 3 am as of writing this note so hopefully you can find all of my asks lol (i’m sorry)(i just. i had to Go Off.) He seems like he would be one of the most accepting (at least outwardly) of the situation, but he also seems to be the type to put the others before himself? [7]
He could sign the form and not Do anything just to show everyone else that it’s okay to do the same (as i can also see happening with namjoon), or he could just not. Do anything at all. I definitely see it as more of ‘well, i can continue as i am. There’s no Need for things to change for me.’ than him not wanting to fuck because he do. He do wan sum fuk. thank you for coming to my ted talk :) [end]
______
So I must curse Tumblr on two accounts: 1 - they seem to have deleted the first part of this chain 2 - they prevent lovely people like you from sending me all your thoughts at once! 😖
I cackled with delight at this whole rant (especially at Hoseok, the good space boy). Thank you so much for sending it!
You are totally right that Jin is my wild card. 😉
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Hi I’m the one who did the ask ur getting outed and yes I mean in terms of sexuality? Like for example jungkook accidentally addresses his sexuality when the cameras are out and his worries so much about his mistake it makes him throw up? Sorry I should have been more specific
A/N: yes indeed! here you go friend! ❤︎ PS i know i said i was gonna write some more tomorrow but i got too excited and now i can’t sleep so enjoy lmao!
i hope you don’t mind that i made it take place after this fic? i thought it would tie in nicely! first part is here ❤︎
enjoy!
TW///// emeto
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Jungkook has known who he is for a while now.
Granted, there is always some growth that needs to happen. Jungkook might not fully know himself at the age of twenty-one but, he knows that he likes girls and boys, and he knows that his hyungs support him and his decision to love who he wants to love.
Still, after coming to this realization and upon knowing that his hyungs were okay with it, Jungkook became a bit freer when it came to voicing his tastes.
He wouldn’t try to hide his ogling when someone who was just his type walked by, (earning a few giggles from Jimin and Taehyung) and he even went as far as to go on a few dates with some idol friends of his, ones that he had always been quite interested in.
Things were going great for the maknae.
Until, he got too comfortable.
The boys were in the middle of an interview, a fun little segment where they were asked to play a game of would you rather. The company that is conducting the interview granted them a wonderful lunch that had Jungkook’s stomach full and satisfied.
Interestingly enough, when asked who they were more attracted to, Park Bogum or Park Hyungsik, both good friends of Taehyung’s, the boys laughed in tandem. The interviewer was about to move on, the joke having landed as they were on to the next question. They weren’t really expecting any of the boys to answer.
But Jungkook did.
“Park Bogum for sure. He has really pretty eyes, and nice lips too.” He says, not even thinking twice about his answer. He’s even smiling brightly, his brown orbs twinkling in delight.
It’s when the room goes utterly silent, that he realizes his mistake. The interviewer is staring at him, a frown etched into his features. In the seconds that follow, his expression morphs into one of disgust, making Jungkook’s stomach churn violently.
The maknae’s mouth begins to water, sickeningly, as the interviewer opens his own mouth to speak. Jungkook tries to swallow down his stress-induced nausea.
Big mistake.
There’s no coming back from this. The ‘pretty eyes’ part maybe but, nice lips?
Jungkook just outed himself.
To the entire world.
Namjoon laughs nervously, patting Jungkook’s knee roughly as the other boys join in with their forced bouts of laughter. “Yes, he’s just kidding. We’re good friends with both actors so, it’s all in good fun, isn’t that right Ggukie?” Namjoon asks. His tone is kind and soft but, loaded with hints of the road that Jungkook should take. He isn’t angry with the maknae by any means but, now was not the time to have an impromptu coming out to the public.
But Jungkook is too sick to laugh. Instead of a giggle that falls from his lips, it’s vomit.
Jungkook lurches forward, his undigested lunch spilling from his lips in a torrent of stomach acid and bile. He retches, Taehyung having immediately jumped in front of him to cover his hunched body from the frame. Jungkook hears a faint cut before his stomach revolts again, everything he ate only an hour before pulsing through his throat and pouring to the floor with a sickening splash.
Jimin holds back Jungkook’s hair as the others crowd around him, patting his back and ushering him to breathe. The interviewer is downright disgusted, on multiple accounts. Yoongi senses the man’s disdain and eyes him ruefully.
“This interview is over. Our company will be contacting you to retract everything we’ve said and to delete the footage you have. Failure to comply will result in a lawsuit so, I suggest you just do as our people say.”
With that, Jungkook is led out into the hallway, his cheeks flushed and his shirt covered in his own sick. Seokjin combs back the maknae’s hair with a level-headed sigh.
“Baby, you can’t keep stressing yourself out like this.” He says quietly. Yoongi nods.
“Gguk, if being bi makes you sick then, maybe it’s not the best idea.” The rapper teases gruffly which, although said amidst a very discerning situation, makes the boys giggle a bit. Even Jungkook who, is still coughing slightly at the rancid taste in his mouth.
“I’m sorry I… I’m sorry. It was an accident. I’ve just been so comfortable when talking about it with you guys that… I forgot where we were for a moment.” Jungkook’s heart is still ramming in his chest, tears prickling his now gloomy doe eyes at the thought of having let his band mates down.
But Namjoon is quick to kiss is forehead and pull him close.
“Ggukie, no one is mad at you for this. You just have to be careful. The world has proved itself to not really be ready for an lgbgq+ idol but, when it is, we’ll be here to shine.” Namjoon wipes away the tears that Jungkook didn’t even know had fallen. Seokjin pats the younger boy on the back.
“But until then, let’s keep gay panics to a minimum, okay?” Seokjin says with a smile, one that looks to be on the verge of a hysterical breakdown.
Jungkook chuckles sheepishly, his cheeks tinted pink as his skin returns to its natural color, his nausea dissipating. Hoseok gives him a soft hug, as to not disturb his bothered stomach.
“And bunny, if you want to come out one day, then that’s okay too. We can talk about it and figure out the best way to go about it.” Hoseok informs with a heartfelt smile. Jungkook nods, sniffling a bit as he wipes away his tears. He nods shakily.
“Yeah. Okay.”
Taehyung approaches him, an unreadable look on his face, one that makes Jungkook nervous all over again.
“Now, who would you rather, Park Bogum? Or Kim Taehyung?”
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A/N: sorry it was short. now for real lmao, goodnight. more to come tomorrow! ❤︎
#bts sickfic#sick bts#sickfic#bts emeto#emeto#sick#sick!jungkook#caretaker!hoseok#caretaker!seokjin#caretaker!namjoon#caretaker!yoongi#caretaker!taehyung#caretaker!jimin#tw emeto#my fic
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Bee Yourself
When viewed from outside, the LGBTQIA+ community, is portrayed as a single, homogenous culture, with a few socially accepted experiences which cisgendered, heterosexual society expects use to conform to. In reality, the LGBTQIA+ community is an umbrella term for a multitude of distinct cultures, united by shared commonalities. This narrow view of what it means to be a part of our community can be extremely damaging to those looking to find themselves.
The Queer Look seeks to explore the identities and experiences of people within the LGBTQIA+ community. To show the many facets that make up a person, and the ways in which we express our identities physically.
The Queer Look aims to show that just because someone does not follow a traditionally accepted path to their identity, and does not conform to all stereotypes associated with that identity, that their experience is not less valid. A gay man who comes out in his forties is no less gay. A Lesbian who has had several boyfriends is no less a lesbian. A trans woman who does not want to wear dresses is no less a woman. And a trans man who refuses top surgery is no less a man.
We are here. We are queer. And we are as unique and distinct as the colours on our flags.
p.s. True to form, I was so excited about the first interview/photoshoot that I forgot to set up the recording equipment. Luckily, Bee took the time to answer a questionnaire that I sent after the fact, hoping to recapture the questions and answers received on the day.
Preferred Name: Bee
Age: 21
Location: Lewisham
Occupation/field of study etc: Receptionist, Arts - History/Gender Studies
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
Gender: Non Binary
How would you dress yourself on an average day?
On the day-to-day I pretty much have a uniform! You will always find me in high waisted jeans, a white graphic tee and maroon Doc Martens. Some days I wear a binder but some days I don’t, depending on my dysphoria and level of laziness… I also always have colourful socks on because even if you can’t see them in my Docs I still love them.
At what point did you realise that you were Bisexual?
I think I properly realised when I was at college in university. I was sitting at the dining table with a friend and we were going through my tinder which had all genders selected (although tinder was still pretty binary then…) and we were both commenting on how hot we thought everyone was. Another friend came and joined us and asked what we were doing, to which we of course answered: “oh we’re just looking at hot girls on tinder”. I asked her what she thought of the girl we were currently looking at and she said “oh no I’m not into women” I ended up asking her again because I couldn’t quite wrap my head around what she meant… and in response she said “I’m not really attracted to her because I’m straight.” I think at that point I was like, oh…. I thought everyone was just attracted to everyone??? Which in retrospect I can only eyeroll a bit at my poor baby self… because it really did take me way to long to put it all together… So even though that was the exact moment, I think that was more like the moment I discovered the label applied to me rather than the moment I realised.
At what point did you realise that you were Non-Binary?
I think it was probably a similar experience to discovering I was bisexual. I realised over a year ago now when I was in USYD Queer Revue in 2018. Being around a community of trans people was something I’d never had before and listening to everyone talk about gender and how they felt made me realise that I had a lot of the same feelings… I bought a binder during the show and trying it on I just felt so like myself? I still sometimes feel insecure that I don’t have the classic narrative of knowing I was non-binary since I was a child, because it’s the narrative a lot of mainstream media likes to use for transness. But I think I needed the time to be experiment with femininity before I finally was able to put a name to how uncomfortable I’d been with it for most of my life. I think realising I was non-binary was a lot of putting pieces together rather than a moment of instant clarity. But I’m glad it took me awhile to experiment and figure out what identity fit me.
Have you noticed a distinct change in the way you present yourself from before these realisations to after? How has this changed since?
Definitely!!! I guess the first thing is that I stopped wearing things that make me uncomfortable! When I first came out I tried so hard to fit into the “traditional” narrative of being non-binary, which for afab non-binary people boils down to “if you’re not masc you’re not non-binary”. I wore my binder constantly, I lovvvved button ups and I wore a lot of low-waisted pants and baggy jumpers. After awhile I realised that it didn’t make me as happy as I thought it would, because even though I wasn’t being forced to perform femininity, I was still performing my gender. Now I think what I wear lies somewhere in the middle of what I used to wear before and after coming out. Before I came out I definitely tried as hard as I could to be the “perfect woman”. Lots of femme cut tops, dresses, skirts, heels (which god I hate wearing… just like so much…) and make-up. I still have a few of the clothing pieces I wore back then, but almost all of my wardrobe is completely different. I still wear elements now of what I used to wear – I have always been a jeans and graphic t-shirt person - but I now style them in very different ways.
I’ve also started to reclaim some of the things I vehemently rejected when I was in my masc phase. When I first came out I vowed I would never wear make-up again. But now I’ve come to love wearing make-up as a form of expression when I’m going out or to a party. I still feel pretty dysphoric wearing it day to day, but wearing colourful and bold make-up is something I’ve come to love again. I’ll also very occasionally wear a dress if I feel like it, but I tend to just wear the things that make me comfortable. Now basically all I wear is high-waisted jeans, they don’t give me a very masculine silhouette but when I see myself in photos or in the mirror I look like myself. I joke a lot that I wear a lot of dad fashion, and I think that’s maybe what I’ve become most comfortable in, knowing that people are probably still going to read me as a woman no matter what I wear (thank you heteronormativity…) so I may as well wear what makes me happy and for me that’s feeling like a fancy ass dad.
Do you believe that there is any weight to stereotypes about the way people dress based on their sexuality/gender? e.g. bi people tuck in their shirts, lesbians wear flannel etc. Do you believe that there are inherent differences in the way that lgbt+ people present themselves that make them more visible to other members of the community?
Oh god as someone who adheres to all the stereotypes (eep) this is a hard question! But yes, I think so. I think it really depends on the generation and identity. But I think a lot of people do wear things to make ourselves visible to each other. Whether that’s subtle things like adhering to stereotypes or more overt things like wearing activist or identity shirts.
But a lot of it just comes from LGBT+ culture. There’s an obvious style, way of talking, relating, and expression that LGBT+ people have developed historically and that almost all of us continue to participate in. I think a lot of it comes from musicians, particularly drag or music videos, historical figures like Bowie but now from lots of different singers like Janelle Monáe, Troye Sivan, Kim Petras, King Princess etc etc. I think stereotypes have developed because our culture is so prevalent, and most LGBT+ people adopt stereotypes unconsciously because we surround ourselves with people who express themselves in certain ways and are inspired by them. So, while sometimes we actively try to become visible to each other, I think it’s more that we’re all just hopelessly and lovingly enthralled in our own culture.
Do you feel that a lack of lgbt+ representation in media contributes to a more narrow, shared understanding of lgbt+ fashion, when compared to cis/het counterparts?
Oh god yes. Yes yes yes. Coming out as non-binary I think a lack of representation was so much of what contributed to me struggling with my identity. Before I came out I knew only ONE famous non-binary person… Ash Hardell I’m looking at you. While knowing about Ash was really helpful to me and representation of any form of expression is so important, the overwhelming narrative for afab non-binary people is that if you’re not masc presenting you’re not non-binary. For awhile that meant I tried so so hard to validate my identity by presenting as masculine as I possibly could. I cut my hair, I wore a binder every damn day, I wore joggers and button-ups, I wore hoodies constantly (because apparently to me that was the height of masculinity??). But after doing that for awhile, I realised I was just as unhappy eradicating every ounce of femininity from myself as I was when it was all I expressed. I think going through that process of experimentation was really important for me to realise that instead of trying to fit into what cis/het culture expected non-binary people to look like, I needed to just be myself first and wear what I love and want to wear and know myself that being non-binary is still part of who I am. And a HUGE part of that process was also finding femme presenting non-binary people, especially afab femme enbies. For me it helped enormously in accepting my body and realising that I didn’t have to hate it as violently as I was because it didn’t fit into the definition it was supposed to. Finding people like Dorian Electra (omg please do yourself a favour and look them up they are the epitomy of my gender), Alok Vaid-Menon, Tillett Wright, Sasha Velour etc etc made me realise that there are more ways to be non-binary than just one. Which is what is so damaging about having less representation – it only validates one path, so either you have to bush-bash yourself a new one (which is insanely tiring, emotionally exhaustive and scary) or you have to squeeze yourself into the one path that is provided for you to claim validity. Honestly, I could go on and on about representation but yes it’s so goddamn important. So Mark Zuckerberg and inc. if you’re reading this like I know you are FIX IT YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD FIX IT.
When you are in an exclusively lgbt+ setting, do you feel pressured to “play up” your queerness? If so, does this heightened queer exterior feel more true to yourself?
Yes, I think there are still definitely elements of performance to being in a queer space. Sometimes they can be negative, which generally come from the part of me that is still insecure about my identity and worried about how valid I am. I think a lot of queer spaces still hold at their core a performance of queerness that can be a bit exhausting? As cliché as it is, watching Hannah Gadsby’s Nannettereally helped me understand that. Because part of being queer is finding ways to survive, and so much of queer culture revolves around making jokes about our experiences that sometimes are so limiting in how they allow us to exist. We are all just so starved of space to talk about queerness, that when we can I think we all tend to fall into the trap of performing our identities as much as humanly possible. I’m really curious about how other queer people feel about it, but I think for me there is definitely an element of performance that I still struggle with a little. However, I am still so indebted and so in love with queer spaces and queer people. I always feel so at ease being around people who share a way of thinking. And I mean hey, I’m queer, performing is in my blood.
Find all images from the interviews on facebook: facebook.com/thequeerlook
follow us on instagram at: @thequeerlook
#thequeerlook#queerlook#the queer look#queer#bi#bisexual#bivisibility#lgbt#lgbtqia#lgbtqiaplus#nonbinary#non binary#pride#gay#pan#photography#portrait#portrait photography#identity#interview
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Bumbleby, Representation, and Validation
After this latest episode, I feel I have to write this and share my experiences as a RWBY fan, a Bumbleby shipper, and a slightly broken but still determined person. It’s a long tale, so I’ll try to put it under the cut, but if you’re at all questioning about your sexuality or your place in the world, I hope this post and Bumbleby help you.
When I first started watching RWBY, it was 2014. I’d just started at university for my mechanical engineering bachelor’s for the second time, after failing out the first time and then lying about it to my family for two years. I was pretty alone, but I made some friends who got me into the show. What got me hooked was the Yellow trailer, and sure enough, as I got caught up on the show, Yang continued to be my favorite. I’m extremely extroverted, enjoy violence, prone to deep anger and unbelievable excitement, with a maternal streak a mile wide and a penchant for boxing. I see myself in almost all of Yang’s behaviors. It was too easy to put myself into her place.
At the time, Bumbleby shippers baffled me. Yang and Blake just seemed like really good friends. I kept thinking about Korrasami and how much it upset me that Bryke put them together as a couple, instead of just leaving them as friends. I remember thinking “I wish they wouldn’t shove so many lesbians down our throats.” The fact that I saw myself in Yang only deepened that. I kept thinking back to high school, to my best friend at the time. She and I were peas in a pod, and while I could see myself living with her if neither of us found a guy, I wasn’t attracted to her, we weren’t lesbians, why couldn’t shows reflect that?
I met @wingzeroalchemist on Reddit while arguing this point with Bumbleby shippers on some fanart. We got to talking, and discussing why it upset me so bad. Over the course of a few months, a few more episodes of RWBY Volume 2, and more fanart, and the airing of Burning the Candle, we discussed it, and it dawned on me: I had a crush on my high school best friend, and I was very, very bi. This was news to me but to no one else I went to school with, least of all her.
That relationship never moved forward for a number of reasons including asexuality on my friend’s part, but the volume 3 finale hit me hard, and I was moved to try to come out to my family. I came out and got told that if I was really bi, I could just “choose” to be with men. I was made to promise that I wouldn’t bring it up again, and that I wouldn’t go back on my “choice”.
Fast forward to 2017. V4 and V5 disappointed me a bit but I kept with the show because I could still see the potential. I graduated with my bachelor’s and fought at Robogames 2017. I got a boyfriend and convinced myself I really loved him, even though things weren’t as great as I wanted. I got deep into the art of heraldry, and met Kim (@dustycymbre) through Reddit and Discord. My parents were super invested in my relationship with my boyfriend, until he wasn’t doing exactly what they wanted for me, and then they coerced me to break up with him. (I was also date raped somewhere in there cos the dipshit was never taught about consent but I digress.) Through V5, I realized my mother and I were a bit like Raven and Yang: wholly incompatible as mother and daughter, and I needed to get away from the emotional abuse. Her behavior was different from the fiction in a lot of ways, but the end result was the same: I never felt like I had support for my dreams, and I’d been set to wander aimlessly.
After the breakup, about a month went by before Kim told me she had a crush on me, the day after my birthday. I won’t tell as much of her side, but what I can say is that she was married to a guy at the time, and some incidents occurred that led to her cutting it off with him several long months later. I quickly discovered that as much as I feel like a proxy for Yang, she is absolutely a Blake, down to introversion and sleeping in sunbeams and being the sneakiest woman I’ve ever met. Where I’m hot headed, she’s cool and logical. Where I want to fight everything and look at blood like it’s no big deal, she eschews unnecessary violence and gets a bit squeamish watching Daredevil. Where my body runs warm, hers runs cold. Only our heights are off, and she’s convinced MM&K are the ones who are wrong.
From my side of things, I fell for her fast and hard. She was everything I’d been looking for and then some. She calmed me down when I was mad, she made me feel like I could achieve my goals, she gave me so much purpose and happiness. I got to be the post match interviewer at Robogames 2018 because I didn’t have a robot and she watched every interview, giving me pep talks and tips and praise and constructive criticism after every match. She helped me do better at work and weather my family’s absolute insanity. I convinced her to go back to finish her Masters and she trusted me and did it and now she has an awesome job. She helped me realize I needed to go no contact with my family, and I escaped and shut them down and will never have to face the fear of disappointing my batshit mother ever again thanks to Kim. She wants to help me build my next robot, and I want to help her with her garden and a podcast idea, and the future looks so bright with her in it.
I weathered my Raven and she weathered her Adam and watching the bees weather their trauma together in Volume 6 has been the ultimate form of validation. I never thought I’d ever get to actually be with the woman of my dreams, but I am now and seeing it in fiction, seeing so many of the exact struggles we’ve been through placed in explicit language on screen, has given me a whole new perspective. The representation makes the hate thrown at us feel less consequential. Yang and Blake have given us the confidence to become our true selves and seek a relationship that is comfort and softness and contentment instead of pain and anger and resentment. We can be whole, we can be weird, we can love each other and not worry about some misguided taboo.
Representation matters, whether you’re 15 or 50. We’re 25 and just figuring out our places in the world, and there are kids who will watch Bumbleby blossom in the show and figure it out a lot sooner than we did. I am so excited about that, and I hope that the representation of abuse with Adam and Blake also saves some lives. M&K have done a really great job writing Yang and Blake and it gives me so much hope for the future.
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