#YES i downloaded the fucking video 😭

[relentlessconqueror]

i swear this memory makes me feel nauseous. look at how privately pleased he is at the casual touch to his face, so glad to be on such good terms with you that you engage in friendly ribbing with him 🥺 seeing this soft side of him makes me want to roll him up in a blanket

[f1amour]

✧˚ · . make me juno

pairing | max verstappen x popstar!reader

word count | 2.3k

content warnings | some social media au, established relationship, smitten max, light dom!max, oral (f receiving), dirty talk, multiple orgasms, fingering, brief choking kink, praise kink, squirting, HEAVY BREEDING KINK, cock warming, teasing, unprotected sex — 18+ only, minors do not interact

authors note | happy belated birthday to max #1 certified cat lover <3

navigation. | requests — open | main masterlist.

yourusername juno out now available to download and stream! happy birthday baby 💋🤍

tagged — maxverstappen

comments below…

user1 MAX MUSIC VIDEO DEBUT

user2 begged for a cameo from max and we got a whole ass film 🧎‍♀️

yourusername my man is too hot for only a small cameo. made sure to showcase his actor side>>>

landonorris i did NOT have to watch an 8 minute film of you and max being horny. disgusting.

yourusername the first minute of the video was horny you could have exited but you watched the whole thing. our biggest fan 🥹🫶🏼

landonorris fuck off

maxverstappen1 wanna say that again?

landonorris 🏃‍♂️💨

user3 max trying to be serious through the video but breaks into a smile anytime y/n would sing to him 😭

user4 they just broke the internet with this video

user5 never thought i would see max and y/n horny on main in 2024

user6 did you guys not listen to her latest album? girl gave us a whole ass ovulation album. GIVE HER A BABY MAX!

maxverstappen1 i’m trying

─────────────────────────

being with max for five years now you’d grown used to knowing his likes and dislikes; both in & out of bed.

especially in bed.

“have you always been this keen on having kids? even before me?” you manage to spit out while sitting on max’s lap, his lips prepping kisses all over your neck and chest.

you had just spent the day celebrating his birthday on a yacht with all of yours and max’s close friends and family so he had been extra needy arriving home since he couldn’t have his way with you all day with everyone surrounding both of you.

his lips detach from your neck looking you in the eyes full of love, “i’ll remind you any chance i get when it comes to that, you are the reason i want a family. the reason i see myself being your husband and father of our children before you i never saw that with anyone else.” max would take any chance to remind you how ready he was to be your husband and have kids with you.

“i don’t want to wait anymore. not for the wedding or the babies…i want it now.” you whisper desperately clinging onto max. his eyes widen at your statement, “now?”

“we’ll have the wedding after the baby is born. we can go to to the courthouse this week and make it official just us two. don’t you want that, maxie?” sitting on his lap grinding against his hardened cock make it even more difficult for him to say the words.

“yes…fuck yes of course, baby. i don’t want to wait any longer to have you as my wife. gonna fuck you so full of my cum tonight and make you a mommy. god i can’t wait any longer.” his hands cupping your face and pulling you into a hungry and messy kiss. both of you quickly removing your clothes off each other desperately needing to feel as close as possible.

you start getting on your knees but max pulls you back up, “as much as i want you on your knees stuffed with my cock in your mouth, i need to taste you.” his words immediately taking affect on your core.

“b-but it’s your birthday…w-w-wanna gi—.” your words stutter out, after placing you on the bed hovering over you his lips meet your neck down to your stomach before he situates himself between your thighs.

“getting to taste you is the best gift i could ever get.” your legs squeeze his head, thighs keeping him close to your pussy as he licks, laps, and sucks until you're close to the edge.

"’m so close, max, so close," you feel like you're in a trance as his fingers hook inside of you brushing your g-spot. he presses his palm into your lower tummy, applying gentle pressure as you nearly thrash under him from how intense the buildup is.

"cum for me, baby. make a mess all over my face," he growls before you feel yourself snapping as your orgasm flows through you. max rides you through the orgasm, tongue lapping at your core as your legs are left shaking.

“max…” you gasp out of breath as cleans you with his tongue, your fingers slowly caressing his hair. he

"you are so perfect, baby." he cooes, thumb resting on your lip as you part your mouth and bite down on it. you feel him stiffen under you, "ik hou van je. (i fucking love you)" he groans under his breath as you wrap your lips around his thumb.

"my fingers look so good shoved in your mouth," he purrs, hearing you whimper as he massages your pelvis. you can feel yourself growing wetter, the heaviness in your mouth feels comfortable before his lips are on yours.

"shit," he hisses, "i’m done waiting…i’ll take my time with you later.”

he doesn't give you a chance to speak before he's fisting his cock, lining up with your entrance, and pushing in "fuck, fuck," his voice is low and raspy, the feeling of him sinking into you, whispering out a various dutch words as he sinks deeper and deeper into you.

"this," he thrusts, slamming the headboard against the wall,"is what l've been fuckin' cravin. can’t wait to see you round and full." his thrusts are deep and slow before he can't hold back and he's fucking you into the mattress, loud moans and skin slapping are the only sounds filling the room.

your walls flutter around his cock and you're coming for the second time that night, "gonna have you cum a few more times, baby. keeping us up all night and make sure i get you pregnant." he snaps, bed in shambles as it creaks and squeaks before his own thrusts are growing sloppy.

"gonna fill you up," he moans, "fuck, you're gonna be so fuckin' stuffed. looking so perfect carrying our babies." his breathing is laboured, chasing his release before it hits him and he’s spilling inside you.

you stay close together for a brief moment before you both are desperate for another round, trying to rock your hips because he's still hard inside of you, "max…," you plead. "need more. please, please, please.”

he chuckles deeply at your desperation, "yeah?" he switches your positions, flipping over, lying on his back as you're straddling him and you fall into his chest because he’s impossibly deep, you were sure you’d come right there once again just from that position

you rock your hips, steadying yourself over his chest as he groans, "that's my good girl, you feel so fucking good like this. my soon to be wife. mother of our babies. i love you.” he’s lost himself in you, unable to form a coherent sentence as you lose yourself in the feeling of riding him like never before.

his sweet words and whines coming from his mouth have you quicken your movements, "you feel so good, max," you mumble, "all yours, baby. i’m all yours," he groans, digging his fingers into your skin as he meets your thrusts.

“how you doing, baby? you okay?” despite being deep inside you he slows down checking on you. he was starting to feel the exhaustion catch up to him but he was still hard as a fucking rock with your cunt clenching around him.

you nod giving him a smile, “m’ okay…getting sleepy,” you mumble out before pulling him closer to you (if that was even possible), “fill me up one more time, maxie. then we take a nap…and go again.”

despite being completely exhausted from the hours of fucking you wanted max to ensure you were pregnant by the end of the break. you were ready to become his wife and now have his babies as soon as possible.

his thrusts are deep and slow while you two conversed until your last sentence he can't hold back and he is fucking you senselessly now giving deep and rough thrusts, your moans filling the room chanting his name.

"come on, baby. cum 'round my cock, yeah…fuck," he hisses when you wrap your legs around his waist, locking him inside of you as he comes inside you once again.

catching your breaths you lay on top of him now, his cock buried inside you, “can’t believe we’ve been awake all night.” you chuckle against his chest while his hand plays with your hair.

“i have a month of uninterrupted free time with you and i’m gonna take advantage of that.” max kisses your head and you close your eyes getting comfortable in his arms.

“remember when we first met?” you ask him, knowing he’d go on a yap session about it. he would talk about it to anyone who asked and you loved him so much for knowing the small things just from the first moment you met.

“do i remember? how could i forget when you assumed i was a mechanic instead of the driver? oh and your perfect smile—.”

2018

meeting at the united states gp in austin the year of 2018 you were just 19 years old on your first world tour of your singing career. you had a concert on the first day of the race weekend so you met a few of the drivers and you tried your best to remember their names but there was so many.

max had been watching your performance with a huge smile on his face, he was in a meeting causing him to miss the introductions most of the drivers had with you. but here he was waiting for you at the side of the stage to introduce himself. he had grown to be a fan the last few months and when he found out you’d be performing at the austin gp he was counting down the days.

“hi i’m max…i’m with redbull—.”

you had gotten off stage ecstatic with the crowd cheering you on to be meet with a slightly taller guy dressed in some jeans and a white jacket paired with a redbull hat. the redbull hat made you assume he was a mechanic for the team so you cut him off, “oh nice to meet you! i’m y/n, how is it like working on the cars for redbull? you’re a mechanic right?”

max was confused at the question many things did not make sense when you asked but he assumed you didn’t know much of the sport (which was very true). he decided to go alone with it appreciating the chance to speak with you just for a few minutes before you were pulled away again for some interviews.

few weeks later he got your number from lewis who had been a mentor in your life for awhile now being in the limelight at a young age he took you under his wing. after checking with you first he gave max your number sending you a text and getting his full name you search him up on instagram realizing he wasn’t a mechanic but a goddamn driver for redbull racing.

lewis couldn’t help but laugh at your cluelessness when it came to the sport only sending him messages if he won not caring for any other drivers; until now.

after many apologies through the phone and max waving it off as something to laugh about. you grew a close friendship with him for the next year waiting patiently for him to ask you out.

PRESENT

“i had to wait a year before i got the balls to ask you out and then—oh.” he chuckles stopping mid sentence looking down at you realizing you had fallen asleep. he gives your head a kiss and falls into some much needed sleep alongside you.

you had woken up a few minutes ago with your back against max’s chest settling between his thighs. he had been playing with you hair until his hands started wandering down your body, “max…” you sigh contently feeling his finger play with your clit.

when two fingers slip through your folds, an obscene moan runs through you before they're filling you up. "that's my good girl, look at how well you're taking my fingers," he cooes, fingers curled deep inside you.

"that feels good, doesn't it, baby?" he taunts, you nodded your head, eager to feel his fingers moving some more as you rocked your hips in sync.

the pressure building up made you squirm, max was edging you and now you were nearly in tears, “oh…oh god,” whispering as you beg him to let you cum.

"that's it, my pretty girl," he hummed, “love hearing your moans, love feeling you cum, baby. squeezing my fingers with your tight pussy. gonna have your pussy squeezing my cock after this.”

"fuck," max groans, your orgasm gushes out of you; soaking his hand and bed sheets. you pant trying to catch your breath, "think we need to get ready for the day...we can't stay in bed forever. i wanna take you to a cat cafe--."

"just one more for me, schatje, one more and then we go to all the cat cafes we want," he smiles sweetly, kissing your neck finding your sweet spot and getting a moan out of you. how could you deny him?

pulling you in for a passionate kiss he flips you around and looks you in the eyes filled with lust, "wanna try another position?" he mumbles against your lips and you nod, not having to tell him the one you wanna try because he knows it's your favorite.

with your face pressed into the bedsheets and ass up in the air he gives you a soft slap before sliding his cock deep inside your aching cunt, "fucking christ...shit," he groans with each deep thrust your walls squeeze him.

"not gonna last, max..." you whine, your hands grip the sheets as he gives you a rough slap on your ass, "me neither, baby. you gonna cum with me? come on, schat. gonna fill your tight pussy with my cum and make you mine forever." his thrusts growing faster and sloppier, but his words have you pushing back against him meeting his hips.

"yes, yes, yes...wanna have your baby please fill me up, maxie," he pushes you up against his chest his hand wrapping around your throat squeezing it lightly. it was more than enough for you to ride out yet another orgasm, "that's it, baby. make a mess all over my cock." he groans feeling your walls flutter around him, with a few more thrusts his cum fills you up.

your heavy pants fill the room, feeling him pull out of you after a few minutes making sure each drop of his cum filled you up he flips you over laying you down and grabbing a warm towel to clean you up, "doing okay, my darling?" he smiles down at your loopy grin.

"so good. i love you." you tell him once he finishes cleaning you up and settling in bed for a few minutes before you go and shower. "i love you more. best birthday ever." max tells you, and he meant it being the best birthday especially if you do end up pregnant.

you run your fingers along his jaw, "think you made me juno yet?" you smile sheepishly at him and you both break out into a fit of laughter, "well if that didn't, we'll just have to keep on going until you are."

[siffrins-therapist]

🏴magictrioinitiate-deactivated

Reblog if your name isn't Alfred F Jones.

🃏thekinglovesplayingwithmyballs follow

WE'LL FIND YOU JONES

🐺a-squared-omegaverse follow

As if he couldn't just lie, if he even is on this hellsite.

🏴magictrioinitiate-deactivated

He wouldn't cuz heroes don't lie.

🏴notafjonesprommy-deactivated

A hero would lie to protect his secret identity ;)

🎻sayakamikideservedbetter follow

THIS IS THE POST! ON MY DASH! I FEEL LIKE I'M SEEING A CELEBRITY!!

🗿givemegumgumdumdum follow

NO NOTES???????????????

🦪clamoutjamout follow

so i got like really hella drunk last night and out of what must have been a mix of desperation and hubris, I sent an email to Mr. Romano, askiNG FOR AN INTERVIEW OVER ZOOM TO ASK QUESTIONS FOR RESEARCH FOR MY HISTORICAL EROTICA WIP AND HE SAID YES???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🍖hannibalservedmemyownballs follow

Doesn't he like never talk to historians and w/e? Holy shit what kind of magical persuasive powers did your drinks give you and can you send me some?

🦖little-arms-big-hugs follow

I wouldn't say *never*. He's given interviews before, he just has a really low tolerance for disrespect compared to his brother. But with his temper I wouldn't be surprised if his gov asked him to not accept as many interviews anymore.

🍖hannibalservedmemyownballs follow

True, true. I still want to borrow some of OP's persuasion magical drinks.

🦪clamoutjamout follow

my mom sent me a bottle of that liquor mr Latvia made and i didnt look at the proof before drinking like half the bottle (mixed with pop).

also... I finally pulled up my big girl panties and read what I wrote to mr. romano...............

... im going to kms.

🦖little-arms-big-hugs follow

Forget persuasion powers, I want whatever healing magic you have that drinking half of MR. LATVIA'S balsam didn't kill you!

🦪clamoutjamout follow

#we're almost there folx! #RIP OP #nation person mention #alcohol mention

9,879 Notes

🌄cabininthewoodscore follow

UM. HELLO????

🤠redbreadrebellion follow

Yeah, Ch*rchill pushed hard for those two to get together, it's no secret. What about it? It doesn't mean they actually got together turn off your shipping brain.

🏴tw1stedm1nd-deactivated

Sure and America definitely didn't talk about it in an interview

🌄cabininthewoodscore follow

😭😭😭😭😭 The link just goes to a 404 page NNNNOOOOOOOO WHYYYYYYY

#usuk ship real is the only conspiracy theory i'll believe

132 Notes

🐸enby-froggy follow

did anyone else see h/bomber/guy's new video??? PLEASE someone put that man in witness protection or something before K*rkland gets him

🍝spaghetti-breaker follow

wasn't he originally supposed to talk about that one bbc pirate show?

🐸enby-froggy follow

spaghetti-breaker He was but he ended up going off-track after he found some reddit post that led him down a rabbit hole of research. tl;dr: K*irkland yo-hoe-hoeing isn't just a meme

🦐butisbugsshrimp follow

I'm more worried about dickland's teaboo white knights getting him tbh

🍯kidsishrunkthehoney follow

Lmao looks like he saw it!

#wait a min i gotta search something #THE VIDEO IS ALMOST 3 HOURS WTF #now i gotta watch

983 Notes

🪃callmyanxietyboomerang follow

dylan's collab with mr canada was just them trying to out-do each other with all the gay jokes sjflsfjsifhsifjsij someone make one of those 10 hour videos with just the cuts of that please? 🙏🏼

🪃callmyanxietyboomerang follow

SOMEONE DID FUCK YEAH!!!

#canada nation person #vintage baker man #someone send me the video i refuse to download tiktok

97 Notes

🎲dev1ld1c3 follow

If we try hard enough, do you guys think we can convince Mr. Denmark to do a girl month donation goal?

🛸area51searchandrescue follow

Tbh I'm surprised he doesn't have a subscription goal like that already

🔦berwaldsfleshlight follow

There's a rumour he's trying to convince Jones and Beilschmidt to do it with him first before he makes the goal official

#pretty sure those two dont need convincing

73 Notes

[goodbyeapathy8]

Theerapanyakul bodyguard group chat...

Porsche : hey guys i have a funny joke

Big : No

Ken : No

Pol : Maybe later, Porsche

Porsche : 😭 guys it's really funny tho and it's work related! 😄

Pete : Sure, what's up Porsche

Porsche : PETE MY MANNNNNNNNN 

Big : Any day now, Porsche

Porsche : jeez ok ok

Porsche : coworkers are like foreskin because when things get hard they disappear

Porsche : hahahahaha get itttttt?!?!

Big : ...

Big has left the chat

Ken has left the chat

Pol : Um wow what does that even mean

Arm : I am circumcised, does not apply

Porsche : guys, not like... literally... it's cuz foreskin disappears when you get hard? like u guys? so i guess that means things got hard for Big and Ken lmaooooooo

Pete : Okay, that was pretty funny lol 

Porsche : SEE, PETE GETS IT, THAT'S WHY WE'RE BESTIES FOR FUCKING LIFE

Porsche : *high five*

Pete : *high five* back

Chan : Friendly reminder that group chat is meant for work related issues only, Porsche. 

Porsche : aowh p'chan but it was a work related joke

Big has entered the chat

Ken has entered the chat

Chan : Big, Ken, and another reminder to you two that you are not allowed to leave group chat. 

Big : But P'Chan, did you even SEE the stupid joke that Porsche sent

Ken : Yeah how are we supposed to work in these conditions mate

Porsche : 😭 was it really not funny?? i thought it was hilarious...

Pol : Porsche, where do you even find these jokes

Porsche : Chay sends me these funny tikkytoks or whatever

Arm : ...please don't tell me you've downloaded TikTok on your phone, Porsche

Porsche : but it's just funny videos? like yooootube

Big : It's Youtube, not yooootube wtf

Porsche : tomayto tomahto 

Porsche : or, in ken's case, tomahter

Ken : I do NOT pronounce it like that

Porsche : yes you do

Ken : no i don't

Porsche : just like you say mite instead of mate

Ken : P'CHAN ARE YOU SEEING THIS, THIS COUNTS AS WORKPLACE HARASSMENT

Chan : ...did we or did we not review not doing all-caps in group chat

Ken : ...sorry. BUT (sorry) did you not see Porsche making fun of my culture

Chan : You do pronounce it as mite.

Ken : !!!

Arm : Um, can we get back to the fact that Porsche has TIKTOK aka SPYWARE installed on his phone?!

Porsche : waaaaaah?! spies?? where!! 

Arm : Porsche, just... uninstall it and then bring your phone to me. I have to wipe it again.

Porsche : sowwy 😭

Big : ISTG if you do uwu one more time, Porsche

Porsche : i didn't even say uwu!!! 

Chan : I am going to uwu all your asses if you don't get down to morning training 

Porsche : on it

Pete : OMW

Arm : Rgr

Pol : See you soon, P'Chan

Big : ...Ken, are you still there

Ken : Yeah, why

Big : What do you think P'Chan means by "I'm gonna uwu all your asses"

Ken : You've got problems, mate

Big : ...

Ken : *sigh* Why don't you just ask him after training

Big : 👀

-----

If you liked this dialogue heavy, short format bit, check out my Daily Drabbles on AO3! Chapters are under 500 words, unrelated to each other, and full of unhinged nonsense.

[calicowithwings]

Hello, I know nobody is gonna really see this, but today marks two years since I met someone extremely important to me. And if she somehow sees this, I don't think she'll know it's about her actually. I think it's a good idea to at least write down this short story length yap session.

So, it's June 28th, 2022. I'm at my dad's house, on Picnic, which I had just downloaded. If you don't know what that is, it's basically just a tiktok knockoff with a bunch of gacha kids (/pos). I'm just scrolling, when I see a video. It's just someone's oc, and they're saying they're new here.

I decided to DM her, I said, "hey, I'm new here. I'm trying to make some friends." I copy and pasted this to a good 3 other people, she's the only one who responded though.

We had a nice conversation for a while, I found out her name was Ash, she lives 8000 miles away from me (in South Africa), and her favorite colors were neon green and black.

We talked for a while, and my mentally ill ass almost immediately caught feelings. So, after a good month or so of knowing her, I genuinely said, "I lowkey wanna date you-" (yes ik it's stupid, leave me alone I was young and extremely dumb 😭)

She was in a (somewhat abusive, now that I think about it 😰) relationship at the time though, so we didn't date. We did kinda flirt a bit though, playfully.

About a week after I said that monstrosity of a sentence, I went on vacation to a different state. This is kinda irrelevant, all you rly need to know is that I moved immediately after I came back

So, she was my only friend while I was in this new place, too far into summer break to meet people, so we just talk. Constantly.

At some point, I'm not really sure when, we start actually dating. Not exactly clear when, it was more of a, "are we together" "sure man" type thing.

Also, we made this gc with some of our friends, Kay, Alex, Elliot, Liam, and Pip are the main ones, in case I mention them later on

Anyways, school started, and we talked as much as we could, which wasn't too often, considering the 8 hour time zone different.

But we still talked as much as we could, and the group chat was going strong. It was a nice group of friends.

So, Ash always listened to my ramblings about my hyperfixations, as confused as she always was, but she never could remember them fully. She's always had kinda bad memory issues.

At some point, around late December 2022 or Early January 2023, we moved to WhatsApp because Picnic had a stupid update that ruined like, everything.

We continued to talk on WhatsApp for a while, before one day we got into an argument about neopronouns. Dear god, I wish we didn't have that fight. Basically, she didn't rly understand nor support them, and I was kinda upset about it.

We started talking a lot less, like.. from all day every day, to sometimes maybe once a day.

And, as ironic as it was, one day as I was leaving school, genuinely thinking, "I'm so glad I have a girlfriend to talk to as soon as I get off of school every day."

Yeah, she had sent a breakup text while I was at school.

She wanted to focus on herself more, which I totally get. We tried to stay friends, but we just kept talking less and less, until one dreadful day.

She messaged me, about a life update. Apparently she was now more focused on her religion (Christianity) and couldn't support lgbt anymore, which, for the fact, she sent a quote that literally went against what she was saying???

Anyways, this obviously turned me off of her a bit. We talked even less, until one day in July of 2023, when I messaged her, saying I wanted to cut contact for the time being. I needed to get myself together.

Anyways, for the main thing that fucked with me in this entire thing

One day, in September 2023, I reached out to her. Here, you can just read the texts.

So uh, yeah. She doesn't remember me. How fun, right?

It wasn't even romantic at this point, this person that I cared most about and though about constantly while we didn't talk, doesn't remember me. She forgot. I knew I should've been worried about those fucking memory problems, honestly.

Anyways, that's basically it. I should probably get some sleep now, it's almost 3am as I'm writing this 💔

Goodbye now 👍

ALSO PLEASE IGNORE THE ANNOYING REPETITION 💔

[jimimn]

Oh I'm sorry you had to go through that :( And I'm happy you were able to find something (or in this case someone) to be there for you ❤️❤️

OH I need to do that too!! Immediately googling how to add songs to Spotify 🧐

LMAOO yes I had the same thoughts cause set me free also had cursing and I was like ight how they gonna broadcast it on music shows but they are doing it, so? 😂 Maybe they bleeped the words, there aren't many after all 🤷‍♀️ Or they were also like Park Jimin can curse on a music show as a treat 😂

Oh oh oh and can we talk about the like crazy dance because????? I'm obsessed. His dancers were so BEAUTIFUL both the hybe and the late night show dancers. AND the way I saw people trying to say the woman in the mv wasn't representing him and fighting tooth and nail to prove that just for Jimin to have this dance LMAO he really said sike. Love that for him. I'm so in love with his dance between the male and female dancers and how he switches between them and how they pull and push him and and and IT'S JUST SO GOOD. My favorite is when the girls pull him towards them and then circle him and the first girl just kind of grips his chin (not really but the hand motion is similar to that) and turns it?? Idk why but I'm obsessed with that move. She really said bitch look at me, embrace yourself.

Also am I the only one who's kind of side eyeing everyone on twitter right now? Because everyone is saying "karmy we're exaggerating the dance wasn't even that sensual" and I'm like?? They didn't exaggerate though 😭 at least the translations I saw weren't like that.. Karmy did say the dancers touch him (chin, bicep, thigh etc) which they did, and that Jimin kind of warned them it would happen, but I don't think they exaggerated? Like they just told us what will happen. Or maybe I just didn't see those tweets lmao 😭 Idek why I'm bothered by this 😭 -🦋

thank you! 🥺 oh and the Spotify thing is really easy btw you just have to go to settings and switch on the local files option. then download the song and under your library on spotify, a playlist named "local files" will show up and you'll be able to see the song there. and then just normally like we do with songs, add the downloaded song on your normal playlists!!! it's a life saver 😭 i couldn't imagine going to YouTube every time i wanted to listen to letter 😭

LMFAO I think maybe jimin just won't sing the "fuck" during smf like hobi didn't on mama during arson. BUT!!! they should be allowed idc 😌

YESSSSSS please I'm obsessed with the like crazy choreo lord knows how many times I've watched both the Fallon performance and the dance practice video lmfao 😭😭😭 they did such a good job!!! whoever choreographed like crazy pls take a bow. BTS choreographies literally never disappoint they're just so good. And please, I've seen too many people invalidate the queer themes associated with like crazy. Like pls stop jimin just embarrassed you with the choreography. whoever denies it is just dumb atp like the woman is CLEARLY his reflection lmao 😭 I also saw homophobic armys attacking queer armys for saying that they related to the song like bffr art is subjective everyone has different stories and how they relate to the art they consume is none of your business 💀 AND OH YES THAT PART YOU MENTIONED PLS MY JAW DROPPED 😭😭😭 the entire choreo is just art i love it so much i can't fckin wait to watch more performances.

hmm about that i think it was a little bit of an overreaction though 😭 from what i saw. and i think it wasn't just because of karmys though it collectively blew up bc of engagement from both sides. I'm majorly side eyeing the people who are overcompensating saying things like "forget him i want her" just trying to prove a point which does not need to be proved like I'm sorry but you're coming off as equally obsessive as the people who are saying they are jealous lmao. like can we please be normal about this ffs 😭 but anyway. yeah. jimin keeps slaying that's what i care about 💅

[racharii]

Prime numbers>:3

mattthhhh t😭t (i had to look up the prime numbers ;w;)

1. Are you a virgin?

no i dont use linux

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

multiple people do and now you do too internet, 34F and in spirit i have a horse cock

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

none currently that im aware of

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

i will not use linux no

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

i was very close once but ya boi skirted the bar rapist by a nut hair

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

outdoor sex 💯 car sex is the absolute worst idc what anyone says it gets stinky and gross and also now i have to steam clean my car so no

13. Have you ever helped someone “finish”?

near everytime i have a sexual encounter i try to make my partner bust so yes lol

17. What is your method of masturbation? (i.e. toys, clitoral, prostate)

clitoral and gspot simultaneously is the bessssstttt

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

i send my friends videos of me jackin it so yeah lmao

23. When was the last time you had sex?

2 days ago im suffering im dying i might as well download debian

29. breast havers: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

no. its nice and adds to it but its not enough to get me off

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

as mentioned before i have sent dear friends videos of me shoving stuff up myself so yes lmao

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

yes 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

41. Favourite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

ill give my top 3 cause its hard to choose ><, missionary cause its intimate and nicey c: , doggy for penetration cause its depersonalizing in an oddly intimate way and makes me feel like an object (hot), and good ol 69 cause i like being eaten out and breath play and making my partner feel good 😏

43. Are you into any BDSM?

any and all ùwú

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

how i know when someone has crossed the threshold from acquaintance to friend is when ive had The Sex Dream about them,,,

53. Most embarrassing sex/masturbation story?

i was having sex with my now spouse then boyfriend in my childhood bedroom and my grandpa opened the door while wiping down my .22 sports rifle

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

yes, my age range im comfortable interacting with and sleeping with is 90s babies, being 1995 myself its people who are ± 5 years

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren’t satisfied with their sex?

no ive never broken up with anyone 😔

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

yes its a talent out of necessity,,, i was one of those "you have to sleep with your hands above the covers" kids lol

71. Strangest sexual position you’ve tried?

head hanging off the edge of the bed deepthroating and have them fuck me with a dildo, awkward position to get into but hot af

73. vagina havers: During sex, vaginal or anal?

¿¿por que no los dos??

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

i consider all my friends beneficial uwu , and yes currently i have like 3?

83. Birth control or condoms?

birthcontrol for me i fuckin hate condoms begone (also my birthcontrol is lowkey gender confirming hrt so hehehehe)

89. Have you ever had sex during “7 minutes in heaven”?

no,,,, ive never even done 7 minutes in heaven :c

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

if my lover walks upstairs and im not jackin it they are concerned and ask me if im okay

[angry-derp]

Minor spoilers for: The Murder of Sonic The Hedgehog

•••••••••••••••••••••••

I decided to stay up all night playing the sonic murder mystery. Here's how that went:

FREE SONIC GAME? GIB!!!

Wait it's April 1st.

DOWNLOADS GAME ANYWAY FOR THE LOLZ.

First day on the job, meets Sonic the freaking Hedgehog (and crew)

OH GOD HE DEAD! It's okay though, he's just pretending... Right?

"There's always something hidden in the trashcan" gets judged by a literal child

Makes a man blush: OpTiOn tO rOmAnCe KnUcKleS?!?!

Oh heck there's actual segments of video game? IN MY VIDEO GAME?!?!

✨All The Microwave Jokes✨

Ok this game is actually good and MC is best boi.

Starts advertising game to a group chat around 3am because THEY MUST KNOW.

if this is a visual novel, then why ARE THE GAMEPLAY SEGMENTS HARD AS FUCK? Am I just so bad at video games that I can't beat a freaking visual novel?! Please just let me win this segment so I can move on with the story aaaaAAAA-

One hour later...

YES!!!! 😭 FINALLY!!!!!!! back to the story! please don't make me do that again.

he's in the walls.... HE'S IN THE GOD DAMN WALLS!!!!

Oh God not again... I'm just gonna save and go to sle- dang it won't let me save. Wait what's this? There's a way to adjust the difficulty?!?!

I'VE BEEN PLAYING ON HARD MODE THIS ENTIRE TIME?!!!?? AND I FIGURE THIS OUT... AT THE FINAL SEGMENT?!!!??! WHAT THE FU-

I can't believe that THIS is the first sonic game I've been able to play all the way through... It was pretty fun and unexpectedly challenging!

Now I sleep.

[connabeth]

character edits -> desi! jason grace, son of jupiter

“Sorry we’re late,” Jason said. “Is this the guy who needs killing?”

still version you can zoom in on here

[checkers-dance]

anyway after that we ended up talking about nct AND THIS LEADS ME TO THE FICS I WAS GONNA TELL YOU ABOUT BUT FORGOR. anyway, i was telling noxia abt how i remember discourse over the johnny/mark ship because people thought they "acted like brothers." so we ended up watching a video compilation of them (ill admit, i think they're kinda cute, they have this very dudebro x dudebro dynamic that i find really amusing). we read the comments and people are like genuinely terrified of admitting they like the ship its so fucked up 😭

so i got curious. i wanted to know if anyone had taken that idea and played with it. and yeah there were some incest fics IVNFJNJFNV. there was this one where johnny and mark hadn't seen each other and then when mark was asleep Stuff Happened. kinda messed up. and then there was another fic inspired by that one where the same thing thing happened but mark woke up and then they consensually fucked. good for them. im kinda obsessed with that idea ngl VBFJVNFJ.

anyway there was also some incest play so like not actual incest but still fun.

BUT THEN THERE'S THESE TWO THAT IM KINDA GENUINELY OBSESSED. BUT THEY HAVEN'T BEEN COMPLETED AND IT MAKES ME CRY, I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS.

so the first one is this omegaverse fic where johnny goes in a rut at the same time mark goes into heat and bro. BRO. im such a fan of siblings doing stuff impulsively and then regretting it immediately and thats exactly what happened. neither of them were thinking straight so the next day they are both disoriented and confused and they both feel awful ITS SO GOOD, I NEED INCEST WITH GUILT AND COMPLICATED FEELINGS. but the fic hasnt been completed yet, and it was posted last year... im so scared it may never come back. i think im probably gonna dowload it just in case it gets deleted because i would not be able to handle it, im so attached.

AND THEN THE OTHER ONE.... i didnt think i would enjoy it much because it was dadson but bro. the writing is so good and the dynamic is so interesting. so basically mark is johnny's kid except he didnt know because it happened when he was a young teen and the mom never told him and gave up mark for adoption and its only now as an adult that hes making effort to contact his biological parents. (actually they meet when mark is like seventeen but they dont actually start interacting properly until mark is an adult). anyway, his adoptive parents turn out to be shit and they kick mark out because they find out hes gay. and also his ex was a dick and they broke up. he moves in with johnny and bro. they are so sweet. like they have this really interesting dynamic where they have a really cute familiar bond but then they also have a clearly romantic/sexual thing for each other thats also really loving and caring. BUT johnny isnt as happy about it as mark is because he wants mark to have a normal life eventually. but then he also indulges both mark and himself and then pulls away so mark is rlly messed up about it and it all ends up leading to this really bad argument between them. and then when johnny comes home mark is fucking GONE, HE LEFT, AND THERE'S JUST A NOTE TELLING HIM HE'S LEAVING, AND JOHNNY HAS NO IDEA WHERE HE IS. WHEN I TELL YOU I FELT PHYSICAL PAIN READING THAT, I WAS SO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THEN THIS HAPPENED, NOOOO. AND THATS THE LAST CHAPTER... THE FIC HASNT BEEN FINISHED YET.... IM SO FUCKED UP ABOUT IT.

NOOOOOOO NOT BOTH OF THE FICS BEING UNFINISHED.....AND THE CLIFFHANGER TOO....why are u so unlucky when it comes to this 😭. I hope at least one of them is continued. Also yes, please download the fics, it would be devastating to have a repeat of the jackson/jooheon fic deletion situation

And gjskfksjf, it seems like the discourse over this ship has spawned a lot of fucked up ideas in fic, I love that. The dead dove writers always win in the end <3

But hmmmm....dudebro4dudebro.....I was going to compare them to jookyun but I don't think either jooheon or changkyun can rlly be considered dudebros 😭

[baekhvuns]

I'm crying at you getting ideas from that IU video, because I saw it before and thought he's like her big brother or father idjsjjdsyusdvsjnshsushsgw

The birdies are there every single day, some make noise at night too. The acoustic in this place is phenomenal unfortunately so despite living on 13th floor I hear everything??? The birds, the people... it's so fucking noisy here especially in the summer like wtf, I don't even live in the city centre.

THERE'LL BE ANOTHER ONE SOON? Istg I thought the 2md part just came out... please no more, but also more for the sake of all the commentary content

My fave thing about Ateez's lore for personal reasons is that they often reference things I'm already familiar with, I love themes of dystopia and rebellion. At one point it's a shame I can't explore all the things for the first time, I know some theorytinys who read books like 1984, now Eye in the Sky, watch movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind etc, but on the other hand I can connect all the dots quickly, because I know it all. Even though they still make me go ⁉️⁉️⁉️ but yes no group was that dedicated to their lore before and no group has a lore that is so well thought of. Seems like fate I started stanning them...

Yes but don't forget about breakdowns and intrusive thoughts taking over you while showering, from time to time 💀

Stop I didn't really care for the piercing but I saw different photos and it's probably just an earring

Yes that couch scenes was weird, kinda cute, but also mate?!??! And sometimes she just gives in too, ma'am fight back! Like he even watered her plant jdjisfhussudjsjs ok that's nice, but calm down. The 2nd lead is probably an asshole, a rich boy whose family should be in jail and he's so possessive, he told FL to call him not Chan (HIY character) and not to see him?! And she probably sees him like her little brother 😂😂😂😂 loser, and I rooted for him

I started watching Cafe Minamdang wih Seo In Guk tho, it's pretty hilarious

PLEASE I DIED AT THIS MR KIM THIS ISN'T YOU

Have you seen those weird stans AI boy stans?! Like the ratios are so funny

Idk bestie, she's tough to crack, cause she's not into him like WE are so </3 in general she doesn't really have strong biases, she's normal :/

I DOWNLOADED THAT BTS ISLAND GAME and it's??? What are they even saying and you can throw them around and stack them?! It's so funny, exactly a type of game I wanna waste my time on! 😍

Alsooooo Seonghwa's fit yesterday... 😵 though I have to be that person and once again complain about his hairstyle, I loooove Hworhead but this hairstyle doesn't work for me when the hair is shorter. I saw some photos and was like YESSSS then I saw different ones and... why so flat?!? Bald era vibes 🤨 same happened during the US tour - DV 💖

hi hello!!

I'm crying at you getting ideas from that IU video, because I saw it before and thought he's like her big brother or father idjsjjdsyusdvsjnshsushsgw

LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭 IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE IF MISS IU EVER DID THIS WOULD BE IT FBFBF but he so nice <33

The birdies are there every single day, some make noise at night too. The acoustic in this place is phenomenal unfortunately so despite living on 13th floor I hear everything??? The birds, the people... it's so fucking noisy here especially in the summer like wtf, I don't even live in the city centre.

NAURRR LFJWNFEK BIRDIE ACOUSTICS 😭😭😭 acoustic pop ver. or acoustic harmony ver? AND ON THE 13TH FLOOR?? I JUST KNOW UR HAUNTED I JUST DO no bc so true why is summer so noisy,,, but summer nights >>>>

THERE'LL BE ANOTHER ONE SOON? Istg I thought the 2md part just came out... please no more, but also more for the sake of all the commentary content

YES THERE IS ONE COMING IN LAYE 2022 APPARENTLY JFBSBDBSK also for the sake of seeing dylan lose his shit and go thru another identity crisis watching it bffbfb

My fave thing about Ateez's lore for personal reasons is that they often reference things I'm already familiar with, I love themes of dystopia and rebellion. At one point it's a shame I can't explore all the things for the first time, I know some theorytinys who read books like 1984, now Eye in the Sky, watch movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind etc, but on the other hand I can connect all the dots quickly, because I know it all. Even though they still make me go ⁉️⁉️⁉️ but yes no group was that dedicated to their lore before and no group has a lore that is so well thought of. Seems like fate I started stanning them...

I WOULD LIKE TO BRING MY EXTREMELY OBNOXIOUS EXOLNESS TO SAY EXOS THEORY IS BY FAR THE MOST INSANE ONE I HAVE SEEN AND READ ABT 🤚🏼🤚🏼that exodus era shit 😮‍💨

no but the ppl who think about these lores, like pirates constantly stuck in a cromer and dreaming dreams again and again and it playing with their lives,,,, i just wanna talk to the person, have a nice chat with tea and biscuits and kindly ask them to publish the theories in a book format <3 fORGET the eternal sunshine, TURBULENCE AND WAVES “OOO’S” WHERE THAT COME FROM 🔫🔫 HOW AND WHY 🔫🔫 i just want ateez to start bringing out sirens in their lore bc im ready for fics to drop on them fbwndhwk

Yes but don't forget about breakdowns and intrusive thoughts taking over you while showering, from time to time 💀

LMFAOOOO THOSE ARGUMENTS U HAVE AND THE ONES U WIN 😭😭😭 the emotional songs that play in the bg while u play with the wotah,,, showers r a supreme experience <3 with burning water <3

Stop I didn't really care for the piercing but I saw different photos and it's probably just an earring  

it probably is just a earring the top hole looks darker then the bottom one NOT A DAY IN ATINTVILE WHERE U CANT BE CLOWNED

Yes that couch scenes was weird, kinda cute, but also mate?!??! And sometimes she just gives in too, ma'am fight back! Like he even watered her plant jdjisfhussudjsjs ok that's nice, but calm down. The 2nd lead is probably an asshole, a rich boy whose family should be in jail and he's so possessive, he told FL to call him not Chan (HIY character) and not to see him?! And she probably sees him like her little brother 😂😂😂😂 loser, and I rooted for him

YEAH???!??? BRO??? i keep seeing more scenes and it’s making me 😳😳🤚🏼 HRWKDHWKDHWK LOSER 😭😭😭😭 NO MERCY SHOWN NONE

I started watching Cafe Minamdang wih Seo In Guk tho, it's pretty hilarious

omg!! i heard it’s like a cat and mouse type of drama also seo in guk is so mf fine

PLEASE I DIED AT THIS MR KIM THIS ISN'T YOU

LMFAOOOO PLS FHWHFKWJDKWJDK DEMONIC ACTIVITY 😭😭😭😭 WHAT IS THIS THE CONJURING FBEBFH “HEALTHY MAN” MANS JUST POLE DANCING???? PLS 😭😭😭😭 they bETTER NOT BE SERIOUS

Have you seen those weird stans AI boy stans?! Like the ratios are so funny

STOP I HAVE I EVEN SAVED SOME PLS ONE SAID “kq wifi and he gone”

Idk bestie, she's tough to crack, cause she's not into him like WE are so </3 in general she doesn't really have strong biases, she's normal :/

“she’s normal” 😭😭😭😭 does she read fics?? pls make her read some seonghwa ones we aRE ON A MISSON TO MAKE OUR SISTER IN CHRIST BE SEONGHWA BASED

I DOWNLOADED THAT BTS ISLAND GAME and it's??? What are they even saying and you can throw them around and stack them?! It's so funny, exactly a type of game I wanna waste my time on! 😍

😭😭😭 ISNT THAT THE CANDY CRUSH COPY HFBDWKDH is it good 😶 LMFAOOOO HDKW THE CHARACTERS R SO CUTE

Alsooooo Seonghwa's fit yesterday... 😵 though I have to be that person and once again complain about his hairstyle, I loooove Hworhead but this hairstyle doesn't work for me when the hair is shorter. I saw some photos and was like YESSSS then I saw different ones and... why so flat?!? Bald era vibes 🤨 same happened during the US tour - DV 💖

seonghwa’s entire existence yesterday. HIS HAIRS LONGER NOW I THINK??? BDNWHD BALD ERA VIBES 😭😭😭 no bc hongjoong has the same cut but his looks more fluffier and not bald 😭😭 whAT DO THEY DO WITH SEONGHWA DHSHD