#YES i am creating a TAG for that because you NEVER KNOW if my anxiety will manage to catch up before i make More

[ryuichirou]

I apologize if it is too personal but how do you deal with "antishipper" and the way they make callout posts and harassment campaigns against you ? It’s legitimately so scary and it makes me hesitant of posting my own art

Anon! I am very sorry you are going through this horrible feeling of hesitation and anxiety; knowing that people get targeted like that could not only stop you from posting, but stop you from creating altogether, and this is the worst part about this whole thing.

It’s not too personal, and I don’t mind talking about it at all. I’ve talked about our position and our relationship with fandom policing a bunch of times already, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating myself.

I used to be worried about posting certain stuff too. Well, when I was a teen/in my early 20s I wasn’t worried about anything: we had so much juicy stuff posted here lol But then the nsfw ban happened, and the social climate of this app and internet in general started shifting, the first stories about people driven to end their lives because of the hate they received started to come out, and we stopped posting completely. It wasn’t a huge loss to us back then, and this situation wasn’t the only reason why we stopped, but still, it clearly became much more difficult to just appear out of nowhere, throw problematic stuff in your blog and run away again.

I vividly remember us wanting to post my Shingeki no Kyojin drawings and comics based on our AUs and stuff, but not knowing what to do with Ereri – there was no way for us to be “unproblematic” (which was never a concern to us, we just didn’t want to get tons of hate lol) and still post Eren with a man twice his age. So we started posting them without a tag, starting with a drawing that wasn’t too shippy, and then miraculously the world didn’t end. That made us bolder, and we started to post them openly, and posted them for almost two years pretty regularly, alongside some of our other problematic ships + problematic themes. Of course we did get hate, we got a lot of hate while we were posting SnK stuff from all kinds of people, but what we also got a lot of people who found our content refreshing and interesting, even if it was weird and uncomfortable at times.

We weren’t the only people who shipped Ereri (let’s ignore my petty thoughts about the difference between Ereri and Rivaere for now), and we weren’t the only people in Twst fandom who liked Shroudcest, which is another ship that we were super hesitant about posting or even mentioning at first. But with all the hate around I was so certain the world was going to end the moment we post them, and that didn’t happen. The end of the world never happens, but what does happen is that people either get introduced to a fun new dynamic and get invested, or get happy that someone finally posts for the ship they were too afraid to post for. Somehow, when you see some other person being ballsy, you don’t feel as scared anymore – it happened to us with other people’s posts too. Yes, I still say this even though it spawns a bunch of callout posts and harassment, as it did with us. Were we cancelled? Yeah, somewhat. There’s so much you can say about an acc that states “problematic stuff, 18+”, right? I was super relieved and happy, actually, that a lot of people left/blocked us just because they’re the people I’d never want to interact with my art.

I’ve been yapping for a long time already lol so I’ll give you some pieces of advice instead… These are things that legitimately help us.

Surround yourself with people who support you – if not you personally, then at least your ideas (i.e. other proshippers). Luckily, nowadays it’s easier to find them… But also, having a friend who you can vent about these things to helps a lot! It’s cheesy but it’s a fact: when you’re not alone, it’s not as scary.

Always ignore comments/asks from antis and block them on sight, block anonymous asks too. Even if you really want to sass them, it’s much more effective to ignore them: when you give them attention, it invites more engagement from them.

Block people you get bad vibes from. Block those who like or comment bad takes or support harassment of others, block all of their alt accounts. It’s tedious and takes time, but it really helps to keep you hidden from them, at least to some degree. I look up Shroudcest sometimes just to block new people. They try to make fun of me for that, but who cares if it works? You can’t block everyone, but these people usually flock together and it’s usually just a bunch of friends, so taking several posts on these topics from people from the fandom and blocking everyone involved will obliterate the majority of harassers.

In terms of your safety, having multiple accounts in case you main one gets mass-reported helps + I would advice to keep irl stuff away from your fandom stuff just in case.

This is going to sound stupid, but please keep in mind that this isn’t about you. These people are very miserable and not very smart. Even if they try to paint you like a bad person, they don’t know anything about you, so don’t let their judgment affect how you feel about yourself. This is exactly what they want – to have power over you.

Stay strong and take care of yourself, i.e. lock your acc and/or take a break if you feel overwhelmed. Don’t worry, it will pass: it’s very rare for these clowns to keep focus on one person for a long period of time; they have like 5 different dramas per day. There are some absolutely batshit crazy rapid assholes who won’t leave an artist alone for years, but those are super rare and special cases altogether, I don’t think you need to be worried about those.

Keep in mind which fandom you want to do this with, btw. It’s usually okay for the most part, but if the fandom is just a bunch of kids, it’s more likely not worth it or deserves an empty account, at least. Twst is surprisingly good despite anything it might look like! Thanks to Yana being a shotacon and a creator of Kuroshitsuji, I guess. There are many great and supportive people in the twst fandom, it’s been a pleasure to be here, even though, once again, it’s the first fandom where I got a bunch of callout posts and nasty stuff in my ask (SnK fandom usually harassed me for other things).

TL;DR: it is scary, and you could easily get callout posts about yourself, but guess what, you also get to be yourself. Because realistically, callout posts can’t stop you from creating art. They want you to believe that they have power over you, but this isn’t true. Your life online won’t end after some random callout post – mine didn’t. They also don’t understand that each consequent callout post affects the person being called out even less. We do have a minor panic attack for the first hour or so, and it does involve more extra blocking, but mostly it just sours our mood for the day and drops our morale. I still draw, though, out of spite a little lol Oh, and do try to report these types of posts if you get them, there’s nothing wrong with that.

People had been persecuted for their art and ideas for centuries, so what happens now is really nothing new. Without diving into specifics, there are way worse things they could do than writing callouts, but they aren’t super likely to do those. Luckily.

Take care of yourself, but also please don’t doubt yourself; when it comes to your art being way too fun for lovers of censorship to handle, you’re in a very good company. I’m referring to all the artist and writers of this world btw and not just me and Katsu lol but us as well!

[t4kalcvr]

ARE WE BREAKING UP? — c. soobin smau

EPISODE 0 . teaser !!! this only contains screenshots and written pieces from the 7 named parts already out!! i am creating most of this in advance but probably won’t be posting this fic officially until after kita’s fic or when i feel impatient :) but i’m enjoying writing it already so i might get impatient first…..

written from episodes 4&5 ::

4 ;; Mingi hummed before completely sliding his arm out from under you and rising off the bed, he was still lifting your head up slightly, motioning to Soobin to put his arm underneath. But Soobin was so focused on Mingi's physique, he really was a Goliath.

“Put your arm under her head." Mingi snapped him out of his anxiety entranced thoughts, he walked closer and slid his arm under. He slowly and careful climbed onto the bed, making sure not to wake you.

"Are you her boyfriend?" Mingi questioned.

In Soobin's mind, he was asking because he wanted to make sure he could make his move. But in Mingi's true intentions, he just wanted to make sure he was someone to trust. You didn't call him the big friendly giant for nothing.

"Um." Soobin hummed as his eyes graced over your features, you were beautiful. How could he ever hurt someone like you? He wasn't going to mess this up.

And he's not going to lose to some big buff gym rat.

5 ;; Soobin wanted to speak about Taehyun but it was futile, honestly at this point, he was just trying to not take blame for everything. So he sighed before speaking, “Yes! I'm sorry, I freaked because l've never been in a relationship and I overthink every little thing!"

He heard a deep sigh, "but i was going to talk to her! because she seemed to be taking it really well these past few days.." at that he heard silence, and in this case, that's terrifying.

"I'm not going to tell you what's been going on for the past few days, I'm going to let you figure this out yourself." Hongjoong's voice was baritone and faint, but the words confused Soobin, what'd he mean?

“What are you—“

"What did I just say?"

"Okay!" Soobin saluted as he sat on the floor, legs crossed like a kid.

images from episodes 1-7 ::

last episode ⋆·˚ ☽ .* m.list ⋆ ˚ ♪ ｡⋆˚ next episode

S. NOTE : these are only scraps of texts and yes i keep editing the synopsis and lord knows how many more changes i’ll keep making, i am impulsive and don’t think things through so pls don’t get too excited and pls leave me and my perfectionism alone, i can feel you judging, anyways i love txt and ateez and thought this would be cool and now i miss san and seonghwa :’) ALSO STREAM ‘DO IT LIKE THAT’ TXT AND THE JONAS BROTHERS …….. SOOBINNNNNNNN.

TAG LIST ( OPEN ) : @oulspvs @goldennika @sukunasrealgf @acidicloveee

[thesoulbox]

.STUFF ABOUT ME.

Whoop!! Hello!! This is just some basic info about me and the such, as well as some other things I'd like you to know!! If you have any questions feel free to ask!

Name: Maple/Reese/Sol

Pronouns: She/He/They

Hobbies:

Writing / Drawing / Animating / Painting / Reading / Roleplaying / Gaming

Fandoms:

FNAF / TWD (Game + Show) / Warrior Cats / The Office / TLOU / DBH / Adventure Time + Fionna And Cake / TOH / Amphibia

As of recent I have been incredibly hyperfixated on The Office and FNAF (specifically Security Breach)

---------

How long have you been on Tumblr?: I've literally never used it before but I've had an account for a little while for reading stories and such, I honestly have no clue what I'm doing :)

What are your socials?: I have a YouTube, an Instagram, and an AO3 account! I also have Discord but I'd rather keep that personal! Here are some links below!

YOUTUBE CHANNEL

AO3 ACCOUNT

INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT

Are writing requests open? Yes yes yes!! I'm thinking of making a fnaf sb oneshot book, so feel free to send in story prompts! (Extra points if its a Gregory and Freddy duo prompt or something with Gregory, Cassidy, or C.C ^^)

Is the art on your account yours?/May I use your art? All art on this account is mine unless stated otherwise! If you would like to use my art/catified designs that's fine! Just please provide credit!!

Will you do requests for other fandoms? I don't mind doing requests or prompts for different fandoms in my fandoms list! Just please note that I most likely will take longer on them due to my own inability to stay focused on something that I'm not hyperfixated on!!

What are your boundaries? I will not tolerate any kind of nsfw content nor will I create anything of the sort, I am willing to write graphic content (violence-wise) and I don't mind writing darker topics, just please do not take requests too far. Constructive criticism is allowed, just please be gentle!!

As for my personal boundaries, please do not pester me over requests or story updates, I get demotivated really easily and being harrassed doesn't help matters any. I'd prefer it if you used tone tags whilst talking to me, I struggle with tone in text!! My anxiety is a menace and I tend to freak out and panic over simple topics like, discussions of heart issues, discussions about death, pet loss, etc. If a conversation is becoming too much I will let you know, all I ask is that you respect my boundaries 😭(also please do not bring up nsfw shizbiz in my messages, it's just yuck.)

Do you accept questions/ideas? Yes of course!! Feel free to send it in the ask thingy or in my messages!!

Do you have OCs? SLAPS DOWN A BIG ASS BOOK OF TRAUMATIZED CHILDREN. You called? I'll occasionally post art of them, so keep a lookout for that! I'm also willing to answer questions about them as well! :)

How long have you been writing fanfiction? I've technically been writing fanfics since I was 10?? But they were self inserts and they were really bad, I used to write x readers when I was 11-12 but I eventually stopped writing fanfics to write my own stories. I'm just now starting up again on AO3 after a 3 and a half year break!

Are there any certain requests you want? Anything FNAF SB related would be an absolute godsend. like I said before, I am absolutely stuck on it LMAO

Will you share stories/headcanons/art here? I will be sharing my stories on ao3 here, as well as some little character headcanons I have! Along with some catified refs of them because I can't draw a human for the life of me. I will also be sharing oc art and animations here but don't expect too much of that LMAO

--------

But uhh I believe that's all! I can't think of anything else but if you have any other questions, just message me! Dont make it personal though or I'll hit your kneecaps with a shovel!! I can't wait to learn more about you all, have a lovely day! <3

[keyboardinpain]

news flash: "racism is bad!!!" Doesn't work against a racist. They don't give a single fuck 💀

if you're trying to change a fandom by attaching yourself to every drama and complaining about the racism and putting everyone who doesn't draw a certain character in the same category, I'm sorry to tell you, you ain't doing shit for representation!!! You want to change the fandom? You want to see more poc countries being depicted? Do it yourself!! Post!! Talk about whatever!!

"oh but people don't pay attention to poc countries :(( my account won't grow if I do that.. is because everyone is so racist"

1- that's the same reasoning big companies have for never depicting minorities, so let's immediately start this by saying, bullshit. People who care WILL find your account and isn't that what matters? The people who care? Not 20000 people that look at your posts in annoyance because they don't actually care and were guilt tripped into following you

2- who....who are you posting for?? Yourself to have fun and interact with people who have similar interests or to get famous?? Who cares if somebody posting Twink Italy gets more followers, post about Nigeria with passion and peace and have fun!!!

3- not everyone who doesn't pay attention to your account or poc countries is fucking racist omg. Yes, ofc, racism in geopolitics and history has caused lots of people to not have access to a full picture of the world and this will show in the interests but also .. maybe they haven't found your account? Most poc countries have to be ocs and finding hetalia ocs is hard. Even harder finding them interesting when they're barely posted about or if they are drowned with drama. It's not racism, it's not knowing it could even exist! And still, if they don't care that's ok. It's still not racist. And same thing if they are canon. Not everyone has to care

Shit I have a bunch of mutuals who don't reblog my Venezuela art, does that make them racist?? No! They don't care and that's fine!!! It's ok!!! I don't care about the Nordics they don't care about Venezuela, it's chill! Not everyone has to have your same interests in the same way

And also, constantly posting about drama instead of actually working on your goddam OC's makes people immediately be turned off by your account.

People don't need extra negativity "it's not fair white people get to ignore this while we suffer constantly" MF you were the one that posted that!!!! You can block people!!! Fucking Tumblr makes bubbles specifically to create echo chambers of yes man, you don't have to deal with the negativity either!!! And also the whole point of wanting equality is so nobody has to suffer, not so everyone suffer the same!!! There are multiple ways to keep yourself safe that I myself use because my own country gets treated like shit 💀 this is a fandom, you don't have to interact with everyone you don't like or correct them nobody out there will stop dying if you do.

You are fighting a random person behind the screen not actually dismantling centuries of racism. This just makes it stressful for poc people or non poc people who want to draw poc characters, you know why? Because it feels like we constantly need to interact with drama and we can't look at tags that aren't filled with it. I hope nobody in this fandom has anxiety or OCD cause the way so many posts are formatted is nauseating!

Its the same bullshit as "if you listen to this song you're a bigot" 🍅

You are drowning in a drop of water. Racists exist everywhere but if you constantly go looking for them and interact with them, guess what? More racists will find you. The algorithms will literally bring them to you 💀💀

I am not saying racists don't deserve criticism, obviously they do. It's important to hold people accountable (especially in this fucking fandom) but once you see they won't start changing... block them. Don't base your content around calling racists out cause every racist who has been called out is still posting and being racist. Your time would be much better spent doing the content you like and creating a safe place for others who wish to do the same, even if it's only 5 people.

I know I sound very angry in this post, frankly I am. It's not targeted at anyone specifically tho. There is a lot of imbalance in this fandom but making huge rants (like this one lol) won't make up for the lack of a certain country, only making content with them will, and guilt tripping other people into making it will give you shitty results.

This rant was all over the place and if you read it that's great, it's probably nonsense. I am not expecting anyone to change their mind, I do not care, I just needed to get this off my chest. Once again, this is not targetted at anyone and if you feel targetted, talk about it with yourself cause I'm not going against you. Have a great day/night and remember to have fun

[neptunetiger33366]

Not sure if screaming into the void will help my social anxiety or make it worse, but suppose it doesn't hurt to try. Not expecting anyone to read this, but want to put something out. So I'm just going to type and let what happens happen.

Y'all can call me Neptune (not my real name ofc), and I'm a just a queer furry nerd that can't help hyper fixating on stuff. I've actually had this account for a few years (I think, not good with time) but never used it. Got brought here by the one and only P.M. Seymour, but because I was never able to get the app, never really used it. Now I'm older, getting into fandoms on here, and am actually taking the effort to learn how Tumblr works. From what I know, I think I'll like it here, and one of the big rules I've been told is to never have an empty blog, makes you look like a bot. Normally I'm a lurker online, but I suppose that'll have to change here. Hence this post.

Anyway, as you can probably guess, my fursona is a tiger (actually what I call a tiggon) named Neptune. Tiggon is my way of denoting a tiger dragon hybrid. I know a tigon is a thing (tiger lion hybrid), so that's why there's two G's. Neptune was actually a name I considered while choosing for myself (I'm trans masc), but decided it worked better for my water powered fursona. Once I figure out how to use Krita properly and get some art done of him, plan on posting here about him. Plan on eventually making him my avatar, but until then, it's Wild from Linked Universe because he's my FAVORITE bean.

What else? I'm a writer (sorta, don't write much, just a small hobby) and love making OCs. Debating writing publicly about them, but for right now I'm not publishing anything. May change in the future once I finally work up the nerve. It's funny really. I'm a very "it's okay to be cringe, let people like what they like" person until it comes to my own work. Then it's all cringe and I'll be put to death for coming up with it. Ah, social anxiety and general self-esteem issues, my beloved. Right now I'm working on two fan-fics, one involving a TotK/AoC AU of mine and the other an AU of my TotK AU. The AU of the AU is inspired by an AU from a fic I've been reading, which is in and of itself an AU of a different comic series I've been reading. So... A fanfic of a fanfic of a fanfic involving three or four separate AUs? Huh, that's a lot of of's. Either way, neither of those is ever getting published, lol. Hell, they're barely getting written as is. Curse my inability to focus.

Anything else of note to share? Yes actually, but I think that's best saved for posts of their own. I'm done with that kind of sharing for now. My point in making this post, besides not looking like a bot, is to tell the void I'm new to it. I'm learning how things work. Etiquette around tags and reblogging (which stresses me the fuck out for no reason. I have this weird part to my anxiety where I absolutely DREAD being late. This is the worst in its "oh, I took too long to respond to that text, now I have to wait for them to text me again" form. This never works and ruins all my friendships. Despite repeated assurances that that's not an issue with reblogs, they still trigger that anxiety.) I make mistakes and don't talk a lot, even online, but I'm willing to learn. Will try to make it a habit to post things, but no promises. Might get better once I get more used to being on here. We'll see. Anyway, it late/early at the same time and I really need to get back to the real world. My favorite Link is waiting for me. We just 100%ed TotK (quests, Koroks, compendium, monster medals, and map) and I'm helping him create a full recipe book as celebration. My man loves food, gonna have to feed him big time after collecting 1001 pieces of shit. Goodnight Tumblr. We'll talk again.

[abysshydra]

Hellooo... Wanted to reach because of your tags on post.

Honestly, asking your comfort character to help isn't sign of faking and just imagining it. Tho it can feel blurry, yes, since it all happens in your brain, and you're very used to think you're in control, even if you don't.

If it works for you, it's good! Defining him as imaginary may help you (have more control, less anxiety, etc), or not. Defining him as headmate may help too (with communication, connection, making him more separate, and communicating with your body or needs). Or not. Every person is unique! I know traumagenic systems (few even) where they got their most comfort character as a headmate, and it helped them to survive very rough, dark times. They didn't front, and wasn't typical alter.

And there is the fact, that, yeah, our brain can know, what to do, already. But it needs to get out there somehow. Brain is like a hardware - may need help with settings, data restoration, viruses, etc. And headmates can help with it, as other user would.

Even singlet, as a person, is created by brain to help body survive, and grow, they're mental construct of the brain. Headmates aren't less just because they aren't so different from the start, or don't front as much, etc. They may be here for same purpose, and help accomplish it. Sometimes one mental construct brain constructed (from birth) need help and don't accomplish as much, and brain creates new one, to help, and communicate things first one can't figure out. Using comfort character talking included. And it's helps many, to not belittle and trust them, because they, in some cases, not having all same memories and emotions as you, can notice patterns, other ways to solve problem you'd never be able to figure up yourself as fast, or without help. And you don't even need to go out of house or pay for it, just ask, trust them, and listen!

Wanna hear a funny thing about us? I have intrusive scenario thoughts, almost daily. Not like, distressing, related to my issues, fears, or insecurities. And i don't intentionally imagine it.

where i try to comfort some random person i can't even see in this scenario, about thing that stresses them (not me! Ex: i can comfort someone about being insecure about not getting gf almost for 10 minutes, while I already have long, happy relationships). It ain't someone who i know, or fav character. Probably somewhere in multiverse Tarn got this going on too. Who knows.

It feels so weird reading it when he's ominously watching from behind our back, as if he's gonna kick me (gently) if I let a single doubt into my mind, lol.

Honestly, our intrusive scenarios are usually random moments of arguing with someone, and at night I rarely make consciously something related to falling asleep or going unconscious, depending on my mood. Just asking someone for help, especially my comfort character wasn't something I did if ever. More than that, Tarn WASN'T my comfort character, I just kinda liked him, I would've expected anyone else but him.

And he usually appeared only to replace me in physical front to go through physical work like walking. Mind you, I assumed I was just taking his characteristics and something. Literally, no idea why and how I thought "I like his style" just out of nowhere, why I didn't question it before, lol.

I still don't remember when we came to a conclusion that he IS our headmate, it kinda just flew out of our radar. He kinda started joining to break us from front in conflicts or notify others about my absence in front, only then I started calling him, although I don't remember exact times when I did that.

He is very different from me as a person. Now if I try to think of him as imaginary I just get slapped with a feeling like I am insulting him. I mean, we were always hit with people ignoring everyone and focusing on host, so it is something that triggers us sometimes.

I completely missed the point of my rant, but, anyway, yeah, it wasn't a sign of faking us being a system, I just thought it was because I was (and sometimes still am) in a denial. You know... It kinda just shows how actually blurry the line between singlets and multiples is.

[pluviophile-imagines]

I saw those tags on your shouto post pluvi,,,,I AM KINDLY ASKING U TO ELABORATE. please (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

it’s a certain kind of agony to be here in shouto’s fancy high-rise condo, sitting with legs crossed on his couch, watching him quietly prepare dinner while you sit and stew in your questions and insecurities.

it isn't as if this is your first time here. in fact, that's kind of part of the problem; you're beginning to spend more time here than at your own apartment, and while it's not something you're entirely opposed to it does create a number of questions which you can't answer yourself and aren't entirely keen on asking aloud.

you and shouto have something. it's not something you've ever attempted to define before, but you've never much cared for that. he's handsome and attentive and just the right amount of weird, easy too talk to and easy to do more than talking with. you've been more-than-talking with him for many months now so you might consider yourself the foremost expert on more-than-talking with number three pro hero shouto.

but herein lies the issue currently sitting heavy in your heart: for all that more-than-talking you've come to realize you want to be more-than-friends too. and, most terrifying of all, you're not sure he's on the same page.

he's remarkably hard to read, for how candid he generally is. and he doesn't tend to volunteer information like that. so you sit in his fancy living room with eyes on but not seeing him diligently making you food, trying to figure out how to best broach the topic.

“shouto,” you call out finally after your minutes of rumination, and watch as his head pulls up to look at you so he can hum lightly in response, giving you a quiet, content little smile. you feel silly saying it—it's cliche, frankly—but you don’t have the time to think of anything better so the words come tumbling out. “what are we?”

for a moment the words don't seem to register. he blinks at you, once and then twice.

"huh?" is all he seems to manage. he looks almost horrified by your question; the expression on his face is enough to make you wither a little inside.

“i’m sorry,” you rush to say, “i, uh—probably shouldn't have—i’ll go—”

“no!”

he’s even faster, voice frantic like you’ve never heard from him before, eyes wide as he rounds the counter to make for where you’re halfway standing on the couch.

“no?”

“i thought—” he cuts himself off, pauses for a moment. his hands reach out to gently push you back down while he takes the seat next to you. then he says your name. “we’ve been dating since november?”

now you’re mortified for an entirely different reason. “what?”

“this is our six month anniversary?” his brows are furrowed, his nose scrunched-up, his lips pursed.

“it is not,” you say, because you couldn’t have been dating someone without your knowledge. it’s absurd.

"you've met my mother," he points out helpfully, or perhaps desperately.

"i—" he's right, you realize. you've met his mother, and his siblings—including, it's dawning on you, a certain infamous ex-villain who you're quite positive a mere fling would not be given the privilege of being introduced to. "holy shit..."

"you're halfway to moving in."

"i know." you bury your head in your hands. "that's why i asked."

he frowns a little. "did i really not ask you? i could've sworn it was before that gala, you joined me so i figured—"

"you asked me to be your date to the gala."

"is there a difference?" he wrinkles his nose more, shaking his head as you stare in disbelief.

"yes."

"hm." he hums, lost in thought. "i suppose this is on me, then, for not making my intentions clear."

you might be inclined to agree, though it's been far to long to be the fault of either one of you solely. still, his admission soothes the ever-increasing anxiety you'd felt leading up to this conversation, and the mortification of the revelation. you're glad, ultimately, that you've brought it up.

he stands suddenly. you watch quizzically, not moving from your own seat until he holds out a hand for you to take so that he can help you up. then he turns and, without letting go of your hand, heads back towards his bedroom.

"what are you doing?" you're following him despite your question as he leads you.

"making my intentions clear."

he rummages around, digging through his dresser until he finds what he's looking for. it's a velvet clamshell box—a jewelry box, clearly, made all the more obvious as he opens it to show you the dainty, elegant necklace within. you gasp as you stare at it, palm coming up to cover your mouth as your gaze snaps back to him.

"oh, it's gorgeous..."

"i'd intended to give it to you tonight. though i suppose it's a bit much for asking you out properly... i'll do it anyway. will you allow me to date you?"

"yes." you nod enthusiastically. "absolutely."

he's already taking it out of its box with dexterous fingers. soon enough it's dangling in his hold, and he's gesturing for you to turn around. you do as he says, tilting your head down to allow him to put it on you.

"god..." you let yourself giggle, a little breathless, the giddiness of todoroki shouto being your boy friend (for real) getting to you just a tad. "this is gonna be one hell of a wedding story."

"we just started dating and you're already thinking about marrying me? isn't that moving a little fast?"

you hit his chest softly with the back of your hand. "watch it, i'll break up with you on our anniversary."

in response, all he does is press a kiss to the nape of your neck. the smile he's giving you can be felt against your skin.

[jeremyknox]

Blanket Permissions: what they are and why should you should add one

I am stealing from this very helpful twitter thread by my favorite podficcer @flowerparrish and joining the crusade.

The website in the last tweet is truly incredible. https://www.fpslist.org/ is a database that, as stated above, links to permission statements of various fan creators. If you're someone interested in creating podfics or fan art of written works, knowing who allows these transformative works ahead of time gives you a leg up.

But what exactly is a blanket statement?

Blanket or policy statements about a creator's fanworks are often found in the user profile of their ao3 page/social media account, at an "about" or FAQ page of their website or in a pinned post on twitter/tumblr/journal/etc.

Okay, but why should I include them on my ao3/tumblr/twitter/fanfic.net/etc.? you might ask.

Well, for one, if you're open to receiving these lovely little gifts (pod fics, fan arts)... It makes it so much easier for you to receive them! Instead of folks having to constantly ask for the permission, they can make something to show their appreciation for you and your work!

Okay but I want more information.

Great! Here's a few resources for you!

This lovely resource on Fanlore covers what blanket statements are, the various types of works you might like to specifically allow, and more!

This resource on Fanlore specifically dives into blanket permissions for podfics

@spiritthatdenies made a helpful post here about this already, but I am just continuing the crusade because I know I've never seen it on my dash!

What I like about that last resource is that the OP delves into some reasons that it's easier to include these statements. It takes away some of the anxiety and is more time-effective.

And remember! You don't have to say yes to everything. I have seen a whole range of blanket permissions since starting my (so far) brief journey into podficcing. I have seen statements that:

Specifically state that locked fics cannot be used

Specifically state that locked fics must be requested

Ask to always be given a link to the work after it is done

Specifically state that certain fandoms cannot be used/must be requested

Specifically ask that you do not re-pod anything already podded

So, seriously, your blanket statement can be anything!

Okay, so I added the blanket statement. But how will people know?

Well the best way is by submitting to the FPS archive I linked! Here is the page that has details on just how to do that. You can insert a link into the Google Sheet above, or register on the site and use the My Authors page.

Plus, there's a super wonderful extension I have downloaded that allows you to specifically view who has blanket permissions on ao3! It highlights those authors for you.

I will often check a creator's profile just to see if maybe they have a blanket permission but just aren't on the archive yet. It is rarely the case but I am hopeful nonetheless!

A final little resource, this one specifically for folks creating podfics, but that I think might ease the minds of folks worried about their works not being properly linked to: This browser extension is a podfic posting helper. Basically, it does all of the heavy lifting for you. It adds all the tags, content warnings, ships, you name it. It makes sure you have filled out the transformative works section correctly. It ensures that everything is exactly the way you need to it be (and you can customize it as well).

So... hopefully that covers it! I'm personally tagging just... a lot of fandoms here in hopes this reaches enough corners of the internet and gets reblogged enough that folks begin to add more blanket permission statements!

If you'd like a simple statement to post, feel free to copy this one down:

I give blanket permission for anyone to podfic, remix, or otherwise create derivative works of my fics! All I ask is that you link back to my work as the inspiration. If you would like to additionally link me to the finished work, especially if it is not posted to ao3, please send it along.

That one is the one I have on my ao3!

[brown-little-robin]

tumblr year in review—but only the interesting parts!

I posted 4,072 times in 2022. That's 3,137 more posts than 2021! (yeah, because I joined tumblr in August 2021. Looks like my posting actually slowed down this year!

595 posts created (15%)

3,477 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swinging-stars-from-satellites

@lovesodeepandwideandwell

@thatfriendlyanon

@bluesidedown

@called-kept

many other very beloved friends!

I tagged 3,787 of my posts in 2022

Only 7% of my posts had no tags

#art - 193 posts (I've mostly stopped using that tag now. It was too broad... as you can tell :P)

#aesthetic - 147 posts (sounds about right)

#batfam - 144 posts (y u p)

#strange redemption intertextuality - 140 posts (NICE. finding these quotes is one of the most fun parts of tumblr to me.)

#yes - 110 posts (listen, I just REALLY AGREE with a lot of things!)

#on living softly - 101 posts (huh! neat!)

#mob-blogging - 99 posts (I didn't think I posted THAT much mob, but okay!)

#ahahahaha - 91 posts (yeah I like laughing in tag form)

#tim drake - 90 posts (blorbo <3<3<3)

#god's beasts - 87 posts (YEAH BABY. CREATURES)

My Top Posts in 2022:

Humans are essentially homesick for heaven. (I still stand by that, even though having a post I wrote in a feverish sort of haze going everywhere was kind of anxiety-inducing.)

Throgmorten drawing (hims grumpy :3)

HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH explanation (very sweet! I love that it got reblogged a lot)

Jason Todd and Tim Drake comparison (cool! I liked that!)

"Every writer should have readers who never point out flaws about their work". (Hnnn. Some sad things happened with that post. Oh well, I still stand by that idea!)

#5

I say this with the sincerest belief: every writer should have someone who never points out flaws about their work, ever, and that they trust to never do that, ever.

Writers should also have people who do point out flaws about their work, of course, because that’s how their work can get better.

But!! For the emotional ability of writers to keep writing, to believe that their writing is worth doing, it is essential to have safe-haven readers. People we can take writing to and know they’ll remind us why we write.

Readers and commenters can fill different needs: improving writing, and ensuring writing.

189 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#4

Jason is too OPEN. Tim is too GUARDED. They have the same emotions (YOU ARE FAMILY I LOVE YOU I AM HURT AND LONELY) but they deal with them in two ways:

Jason: he’s an open book, a bleeding heart, a scream of defiance & pain & rage. He takes all his giant emotions and pours them out in a river in front of his loved ones’ feet and DEMANDS answers. He burns his bridges before others can burn them because he is saying LOOK AT THIS, IT’S RUINED, RIGHT? IT’S RUINED, RIGHT? —not realizing that, if he hadn’t set the bridges on fire, they would have still been there—broken, maybe, damaged, but still there, still fixable.

Tim: he’s a closed book, a chained-up heart, a locked jaw, a stifled scream. He takes his emotions and tells them river, run in your proper course and do not leave that course; don’t you dare flood. He lets his bridges rot because if he says “this bridge is getting worn down” too often, he will be acknowledging that something is wrong with him. What if his loved ones tell him that he’s at fault for letting their bridges fall into disrepair again? What if, even worse, they decide that the bridge is an eyesore and decide to remove it altogether? No, no, no, better to isolate himself on his island and just keep the structure of the bridges intact enough for him to survive. No need to call attention to their state of decay.

213 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

#3

If I tell you “HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA BTHUTHDY” this is what I mean, btw. I’m not drunk, I promise. (image description under the cut)

[begin image description. A page from Winnie the Pooh. It has an illustration of Owl biting a pencil. It says:

“Can you read, Pooh?” he asked, a little anxiously. “There’s a notice about knocking and ringing outside my door, which Christopher Robin wrote. Could you read it?”

“Christopher Robin told me what it said, and then I could.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what this says, and then you’ll be able to.”

So Owl wrote... and this is what he wrote:

HIPY PAPY BTHUTHDTH THUTHDA

BTHUTHDY.

end image description.]

222 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

#2

Throgmorten, the Asheth Temple Cat and thoroughly cranky beast. Look out, or he’ll tear strips off you!

295 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Humans are essentially homesick for heaven and lonely for God. Or vice versa. We want a person so big that we can sink into them like a bedroom and a bedroom so lovely it embraces us like a friend.

477 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[writing-in-april]

Unwinding in the Vines

Spencer Reid x Gender Neutral Reader

Summary: Reader can’t get enough of cuddling Spencer.

A/N: Hey Heyyyy! Here’s my twenty-third fic for my 30 fics in 30 days for April! Sorry this one is again out a little later than usual- I’ve started a new job and it was my mom’s birthday today! This ones based on this request from @lexieshuntingsstuff- it’s a user smol sweet moment between Reader and Spencer. Feel free to send me an ask here (I promise I don’t bite lol) Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Vague mentions of death (of minor characters & a tree lol) & Reader is overprotective of Spencer after he had a run in with an unsub- other than that it’s just a smol fluffy moment.

Main Masterlist Word Count: 1.2k

His arms were wrapped around my torso tight. They wound around to hug every dip and curve of my body, like the vines of ivy trailing up the tree he was resting his back on. Unlike the tree, who was being choked slowly to death by the vine, I thrived under his hold.

His hold on me made me feel safer than I ever had been, grounding me. Him being clingy also assured me that he was real, I could feel his skin on mine, even when his touch was dampened by our clothing. Though I craved him being closer, even more clingy than he already was being, I’d have to settle with how we were. I tried to sink into his touch even more despite it not being possible, winding my own arms up around his to create vines of my own.

I often felt unsafe, specifically at my job which was also Spencer’s. He was by my side through every investigation, through thick and thin, willing to do whatever it takes. It didn’t matter whether we were personally involved or it was the most routine case we had all year, he was always by my side. Though I often craved for him to be closer to me, to smother me with his whole body twisted around me from the tips of my toes to the top of my head.

I then hooked my legs around his, intertwining myself even further into him, no longer knowing where I stopped and he began. It had been too close of a call during the last case for me not to want him so close. He was the one holding me, but really I was protecting him from the man who dared pull a gun on him even though he was dead.

“What are you thinking about?” Spencer spoke up pulling me out of my daydream for a moment.

I fiddled with my fingers that I had intertwined with his, assuring me that he was here, safe and here to keep me safe. He nudged my side as I started to drift off back into my thoughts to prompt me to give him an answer, “How much closer I want you,” Was the first answer that came to my mind, until the true answer came to me. I hesitated, reluctant to spill my guts even though I knew he wouldn’t be mad, “ and- how glad I am that you’re safe…”

His breath hitched, probably him thinking back to his brush with death, all because of some cocky unsub so chaotic he had been hard to predict. I wanted to apologize for bringing it up, but Spencer had already moved on from the subject, choosing to focus on the positive, “I don’t think I can’t physically be closer- unless you want our atoms fuse.”

I giggled a little along with Spencer, making our chests vibrate with one another. Twisting myse a little around for just a moment I booped the tip of his nose delicately before teasing him with my tongue stuck out just a bit, “Think you could figure that out doc?”

“Maybe- I could probably do it with an assistant.” He teased right back, with a boop on my nose too as revenge.

“Only if it’s me.”

“I’d never be able to do anything without you.” My heart swelled at the affection, just as it always did around Spencer. He always leveled attacks of affection on me, which some would find obnoxiously overbearing. I thought those people were crazy. I loved him so much, letting him go or him letting me go sounded sad. When we were unable to touch each other at work I always felt a slight pain in my chest at the thought of it. Guess that probably made me clingy as well, but Spencer loved it just as much as I did.

My mind had shifted back to thinking about the BAU, our job that caused constant turmoil within me. Ever since he had nearly been fatally wounded I couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything else for us, something safer. Looking up at the clouds floating along without a care in the sky, I envied their ability to be carefree, to be able to see where the wind takes them.

“Did you ever think this was where you’d be?” He looked up at the clouds with me, perhaps also wishing life would be just as easy and carefree.

“No.” It was true, and also not surprising. Whether his answer was about his job or about me, I knew that even not that long ago he never would have imagined being here underneath the tree with me. Though, I was still worried that he no longer wanted to be a part of the BAU, especially after the recent fiasco. I did not want him to stay only for me.

“Do you want to be here?” My meaning had a double entendres, at surface level meaning his time with the BAU which even with my anxiety over recent events, I knew realistically we were meant to be there. Suddenly I was now anxious for his answer to the other meaning, whether or not he wanted to be here tangled up with me. We had said the words I love you out loud, and even then self doubt liked to poison me.

“Yes.” His arms choked around me tighter, but I never felt more free to be me. I never felt more alive than when I was close to Spencer, thriving with him. My own arms were holding Spencer down to me, but he had told me once that I was the only reason he ever grew to be better which I happily did along with him.

My stomach rumbled, interrupting our deep conversation. It was loud enough that Spencer could hear it even with the breeze that was muffling almost everything. He moved his hand down to rub my stomach, soothing it for the time being. “Do you want to eat the rest of the food?”

Wistfully I looked over to the picnic basket that we had packed for our time to unwind. We had eaten only a small portion of it before he had pulled me back to rest on his chest. My stomach may be slightly rumbling, but I wouldn’t want to give up my hold on Spencer or have him give up his hold on me. “No, you’d have to let me go if I did.”

I felt warm, almost hot, his arms insulating all the heat inside me along with what I produced on my own. My cheeks were definitely burning, but I didn’t care, I felt safe here away from the horrors I faced everyday with him. I never wanted him to stop clinging on to me like a koala bear or like the vines around us. He brushed a finger along my cheek, which was probably hot to the touch as he then asked, “Are you sure I’m not holding you too tight?”

Nuzzling my face on the side of one of his arms, I then squeezed my palms around him three times, a silent confession of my love. Turning my head up I saw him looking down at me in adoration, not at the other beauties of nature around me. I squeezed him tight once again, trying to entangle us permanently like a vine to a tree before I told him, “No, it’s perfect.”

Ask Me Anything

—-

Tag lists (fill out this form to join):

Strike through means tumblr won’t let me tag you- check your privacy settings

All works: @shotarosleftpinky @oreogutz @90spumkin @kyra-morningstar @spenxerslut @boxofsparklingmuses @katexrichardson @takeyourleap-of-faith

All MGG characters: @muffin-cup @willowrose99 @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat @anaagraceeberr @ashcakes1918 @reid-me-a-story @cosmic-psychickitty

Spencer Reid/CM: @calm-and-doctor @destiny-tsukino @safertokiss @slutforthegubes @onlyhereforthefanfics @jareauswifey @princesssmooshie @peterpanouat

[wrenhyperfixates]

My Heart is Your Canvas

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: Loki hadn’t been planning on confessing his love for you, but he’s glad he did. Warnings: a whole lot fluff A/N: For my bestest best friend @lokistan! Hope you all enjoy :)

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02​ @frostedgiant​ @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​ @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​ @mythicalgarlicknot​ @what-a-flammable-heart​ @marvelouslovely​

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

“It is useless, brother,” Loki lamented, shrugging off his tuxedo jacket and dropping the bouquet of roses on Thor’s bed. “I will never be able to tell them how I feel and playing dress-up like this is ridiculous.”

“It is not playing, nor is it ridiculous. You want to woo them, right?”

Loki frowned, feeling like he was about to almost be sucked into yet another of his brother's hair-brained schemes to get him to confess his true feelings to you. And this latest one had barely even ended! Still, he did want to, as Thor put it, woo you, and his brother’s intentions were pure. So, the trickster god sighed and nodded.

“Then trust me; all you must do is don this tux, hand them these flowers, and have confidence in yourself.”

Loki looked in the mirror. He looked ridiculous, he was sure. Then again, Thor did know more about Midgardian culture than Loki did. Unless he was just trying to get revenge on Loki for the countless pranks he’d played on the older Odinson in their youth. But no, the brothers had turned over a new leaf and were truly supportive of each other, even if Loki still had to remind himself of that often. After feeling lonely and ignored for so long, it was easy for him to forget he actually had family to turn to, looking out for him.

“That is easy for you to say,” Loki finally responded. “Everyone practically threw themselves at your feet when you arrived. Everyone has always wanted to be your friend. Me, not so much. No one has ever really liked me, especially not here. Even you took a while to come around.” They both winced at his unintentionally harsh words. “Forgive me, brother, I did not mean it like that. I only mean I cannot afford to lose them. They are my best friend.”

“But they could be your beloved.”

Loki’s face went scarlet. Even if, by some miracle, you liked him back, there was something about that word, about calling someone his beloved, that felt so intimate to him. What would you think of it, he wondered? It didn’t really matter, considering he made up his mind. With a snap of his fingers, Loki was once again dressed in his Asgardian tunic. He saw his brother slouch in defeat.

“They could, in theory... But not today. I am sorry.”

“Brother, there is nothing to apologize for,” Thor reassured, clapping Loki on his back. “I am in your corner. Just promise you will think about it some more?”

After a promise to do just that and a sincere thank you thrown his brother’s way, Loki headed back to his rooms to wallow in his failure by his lonesome. That plan was quickly tossed out the window when he saw you standing outside his door, art supplies in hand.

“Darling?” he said. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh! There you are,” you said, spinning around. “It is, thanks for asking. I was just looking for you, and here you are. Do you, um, think you can you do me a favor?”

“Of course,” he nodded, sensing some sort of anxiety from you. He didn’t care what the favor was. If it helped you calm down, he’d do it. He opened the door for you. “Will you come in?”

“Thanks again,” you said, as he followed you in.

“It is no problem, darling,” he replied, brow furrowing a little at your perpetuating nervousness. “What may I help you with?”

“See, so you know I’ve been painting a lot recently, right? Well, I ran out canvases and Tony says I can’t paint on the walls. This is probably kind of stupid, but can I paint on you? Like just on your back?”

“Is that all?” he chuckled. “Of course you can. It would be my honor to be of service.”

Loki felt a light blush coat his cheeks as he took off everything covering his top half. At least you were busy setting up your paints, so he didn’t think you noticed. Sitting down with his back to you, he kept his face turned down just to be sure you didn’t see. Still, he knew the exact moment you realized your plan involved him being half-naked because you let out a little squeak. He would have laughed if he wasn’t so flustered himself.

Loki held as still as possible as you rested your hand on his shoulder and began to paint, the strokes of your brush on his skin tickling a little. Eventually he calmed down and relaxed a bit, though he was still hyper-aware of every time your skin made contact with his.

“Hey, Loki?” you hummed after a while of companionable silence with some small chitchat sprinkled in.

“Yes, darling?”

“Just... thank you so much for doing this. Even if you don’t, err, like the finished product, I still really appreciate it.”

“Of course, darling. It is no trouble, really,” he promised. “Anyway, I shall love whatever masterpiece you create.”

“M-masterpiece? You really mean all that?” you squeaked out in flattered surprise.

“Naturally. After all, it is made by you. How can it be anything less that wholly amazing? I love everything you do,” he sighed in content. “I love you.”

Loki’s eyes suddenly went wide once he realized what he’d just confessed to. Darn you always being on his mind and making him feel all soft and squishy inside. But more importantly, darn him for not having a grip on his emotions and his mouth. And now he was going to lose you, his best friend. He would have stood up and pulled away, but you were still painting, and he didn’t want to ruin it.

“I-I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expect that,” you giggled. “But I love you, too.”

“No, darling. You do not have to say that to make me feel better,” he reassured you. “Truly, we can just forget the whole thing if you like.”

“Loki, I’m not faking it, I swear. And I can prove it,” you said, stepping back and taking one final look at your handiwork.

Taking Loki by the hand, you led him to the full-length mirror he kept on his wall. He craned his head to look at his now colorful back reflected at him. You’d painted a heart in his colors, with a few sunflowers around the border and his helmet in the center. At the bottom were words that made his heart stutter. Even though they were reflected backward, he could read them. My beloved. You’d written, “my beloved”. That was him. He could hardly fathom it, but a huge smile spread across his perfect pink lips.

“Believe me now?” you shyly looked up at him.

“Yes, my clever darling,” he replied, realizing this had been your plan all along. Seems like you were just as shy as he was. “I do.”

With an impossibly wide grin, a perfect match to his, overtaking your own features, you cupped his face and brought him in for a kiss. As you both stood there, sealing your confessions with locked lips, Loki didn’t even care that he’d have to listen to Thor gloating about how right he was for the rest of his life. No, that didn’t matter now. In fact, the rest of the world and his problems drifted away, as the only thing that mattered was you. Because if he had the honor to be your beloved, he most certainly knew you would want to be his too.

[quillsanddaydreams]

duty calls

hermione granger x reader

—author's note: This was requested by a lovely anon, I hope you like it love. It made me remember just how much I appreciate little things. So a fluffy story about a lazy day in bed which turns serious when Hermione shares some news.

—warning(s): mentions of food, nightmares and anxiety. gender neutral!reader (pronouns aren't used).

—word count: 1,053

You heaved a sigh, moving your limbs into a more comfortable position. Turning your head towards the right side of the bed, you noticed Hermione was still asleep. Brown curls messily framed her face. If she was awake, she would keep pushing them away in vain. It was only seldom you could find her as peaceful. Before you could stop yourself, you moved closer to her kissing her nose. It scrunched up, her eyes opening up in delight. Her hands found your waist, pulling you closer. Humming, she rested her face in the crook of your neck. You smiled.

“You know, I can never get used to this,” you said, your voice having a raspiness that comes after a good night’s sleep. “Waking up next to my gorgeous girlfriend.”

Hermione responded with a kiss to the collarbones. She groaned.

“Can’t we spend the whole day like this?” she said as pulled back, tugging a rather rampant curl behind her ear.

“Hey now, remember what we said about frowning?” you said as Hermione let out a giggle.

“That I don’t want me to die soon just because I wore a sore expression most of the time,” she beamed up at you. Cradling your face, she tugged you closer leaving a peck on your lips.

“Come on, I can make some blueberry pancakes,” you suggested as Hermione nodded enthusiastically.

Getting up lazily, you made your way over to the bathroom. Brushing your teeth and washing your face, you moved towards the small kitchen. Hermione joined you moments later, helping you do your apron. She hated cooking, even more so after she came back from her mission with Harry. Sitting up on the countertop, she watched you combine milk, sugar, and flour together. It was like a bubble. A beautiful bubble you two had created together, the one you didn’t want to escape. Like an unsaid promise, you and Hermione had found your own rhythm.

War had changed people. Even if it was calm, it was a strange one. Hermione still had nightmares just like Harry and Ron. She would wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, clutching your hand for support. You wouldn’t go to bed after, because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the scare out of her head. Getting up and putting on your favorite show, you would watch them with her, laughing and crying until sleep consumed you. Some scars never truly heal. Moments like these reminded you how you could still find happiness amongst your struggles.

Hermione was telling something about her workplace as reality grabbed your attention back.

“Huh?” you asked, disoriented. “I’m sorry, I was just thinking about something.”

Hermione gave you a kind smile.

“Harry came by yesterday,” she started. “He doesn’t want to be an Auror anymore.”

“He doesn’t?”

“Yes, he wants to teach.”

“Didn’t expect that,” you said, surprised. But then again, the DA club was the place where you learned the most.

You poured the batter into the pan, waiting for it to turn golden. Hermione grabbed some plates and glasses for juice. Finishing plating, you moved toward the small round table, digging in. It was mostly silent, except the wind chimes clinking at the window.

“You know,” Hermione started, biting her lip nervously. “Since Harry dropped out, someone would have to take his mission.”

Chewing the pancake slowly, you furrowed your eyebrows.

“Okay?”

“And the ministry suggested that since I was the one who tracked do—”

“No,” you said pointedly before she could finish. “Don’t take that mission, Hermione, it's dangerous. Everyone advised Harry to give it up and for valid reasons might I add.”

“But it’s important information, if not me then who?”

“Anyone but you. Hermione please it was torturous enough when you left for the first time.”

Hermione put her hand over yours, squeezing.

“I know, but I came back safely didn’t I?”

“You and I have very different definitions of safe,” you shook your head, gulping and pulling your hand away. Hermione’s face fell further. “I am proud of you Hermione, I really am and I know you can handle yourself. But this? Walking into a death trap? How could you ask me to agree to this?”

Hermione opened and closed her mouth. You looked over at her, realization dropping in on you.

“You already agreed to it, didn’t you?” you inquired as she gave the smallest of nods.

It felt like the air was closing in on you. You blinked away tears. Pushing away your plate, you got up stalking towards the bedroom. Ignoring her pleas, you shut the door behind you. You needed some time to get yourself together. Sitting down on the bed, you looked at the palm of your hands. There was a knock at the door. Hermione came in after a few minutes of no response.

“Hey,” she whispered, kneeling down in front of you. You looked away. “I know it’s dangerous and that’s why we’ll have all kinds of backup. We’ll make sure we are as safe as possible.”

“And I’ll be back in a blink I promise. You won’t even know I was somewhere other than the ministry of magic.”

“Come on, at least look at me.”

“I know you’re not that angry at me, just sad about the situation. Stop acting like that,” she said as you tried your best not to let your expressions waver.

“Hey.”

You heard her take a deep breath.

“You want to play pretend? Well, two can play that game,” she said before holding your face so you could see her. “And right now, all I want is to kiss my lovely partner in crime assuming we just got up from eating a lovely breakfast and are happy about everything.”

Her lips found your forehead, moving down to your nose. A peck on the cheek and a hushed ‘I love you’ followed and you couldn’t help but lean into her touch.

“I love you so much, Hermione,” you said softly. Pressing her mouth against yours, she kissed you slowly making you melt. When you pulled back, it felt like you were in a daze. “I’m just so scared, you know?”

You looked up at her as she rested her forehead along with yours.

“I know,” she said. There was nothing quite simpler.

—as for the taglist: I don’t make taglists, I have a blog @from-my-quill ​ which is updated whenever I post fanfiction. You could have the notifications on for it and it will work just like me tagging you.

⟨⟨REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK ARE APPRECIATED⟩⟩

[radioactive-earthshine]

I wanted to stop in and thank you for writing your Konbart fic. It has kept me good company for the last week and it's been one hell of a week because I have been doing around 2 job interviews a day. Fortunately it looks like I 95% have a solid job starting next week but this last week was just so stressful coming back to your fic between bouts of panic and anxiety made things so much easier. So thank you for that. Really.

Now that I said all that I do want to comment that I was really surprised that of all the directions you're going. I never predicted seeing Chris and Jon, I never predicted Thad and Preston which by the way wow I ship now. I know it's in the tags but I did not foresee Lex being one of the good guys but I am really enjoying it. I don't think I have ever seen that before? So yeah I am really liking everything you're doing and going.

I have a final comment about the last chapter. I really appreciate that Bart is not going into physics or forensics or one of the typical speedster jobs we see all the time. I can't remember what you called it but him making super suits and being an Edna Mode is something I would have never come up with but now I can't unsee? So thank you for that too!

I hope this isn't too weird or creepy but I really love the fic! I hope you can finish it.

First off, thank you so much for this sweet comment. It means a lot that something I did could give you that comfort.

Secondly CONGRATS and I hope your new job is what you were looking for, and is a good match.

As for Lex being part of the good guys it is not done often, but has been done in canon, and I personally enjoy seeing it every time. I personally believe Lex makes a more intriguing morally gray ally than he EVER does being a Legion of Doom member. I have more thoughts in regards to this, but that's a conversation for another time.

In regards to Bart's career path that I set him up on there is no real job description for it in today's world but, yes, Edna Mode. He's going to officially be a textile developer where he specifically creates material for super heroes and designs super suits to accommodate various abilities and specifications.

Bart's VERY smart, and he would absolutely do well in any STEAM field, but in reading his comics he is just so artistically inclined and there is some evidence to support that he is into fashion I feel like blending science and fashion would be a good direction and would be a unique take.

I also feel like he could THRIVE in this career. I considered maybe having him going into video game design or some other art field but in sitting and thinking about it I'm not sure if he would be able to viably do those jobs considering all the running around he does. Video game design is a very intensive field requiring long hours. Being a textile developer at least gives him more wiggle room and freedom to MOVE.

Also I believe strongly that his video game playing is more stimming for him and grounding him in place than a deep, deep passion. But those are just my thoughts and where I wanted to go in the fic.

Anyway, thank you for stopping by and giving me a chance to ramble!

[its-me-im-coraline]

A tie between us and some hope // E.T.

words // 1505

warnings // a little bit of angst but overall fluff

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. ooof im really feeling like a mess today i hope it does not show on this one, i thought i'd feel better than yesterday but my mental state is worse todays... anyway, my oversharing ends here, i hope you enjoy this lovies!! oh also, i am using some epithets (lol) in italian with the endings in -o because i can not for the love of me find specifically gn pet names on the internet or im just bad at looking but i am tired of only ever using 'amore' lol.

request // yes through a reblog so i will not link it right now

summary // Part three of Secrets and fights and Torna a casa. After Ethan showed up in readers house that night the two have started trying to work on being together again. But there are always new problems to arise.

After that night passed, when Ethan had found himself on his love’s doorstep things started looking up. The man started being more consistent in taking care of himself, finally feeling like his able to breathe, like things were taking their rightful place again. He kept himself and his space put together, finding himself far out of the rut he was put into after the short-lived breakup.

Although things seemed to be better, nothing was yet back to how it was between him and Y/N. The two found themselves constantly around each other, be it little dates around the city- not caring about paparazzi at this point, other times just staying in and cuddling while watching a movie, or even going on a walk some nights, smoking and joking while talking about the deepest and shallowest things the pair could think of. It felt as if the intimacy that was previously been built had not gone away, it was still there, strong as ever, the trust being hard to be built again.

“Goodmorning, dolcesso,” uttered the man, a soft smile on his face as he walked through the open door, a bag of fresh pastries in his hands, the refreshing smell of coffee embracing his presence in the small home.

Y/N, barely awake, but always with a deep love for the pastries Ethan picked up, moved towards him, taking the bag from his hands, humming in appreciation as they opened it, looking at today’s picks. “These smell wonderful, Ethan,” they mumbled before taking a bite from the first one they found.

He smiled a bit, looking at the person before him, mumbling a quiet response. “I always pick the best ones for you, beautiful.”

If it was possible to fall in love with a person again, then Ethan was definitely living that moment when Y/N gave him the stupidest and most childish smile, a spark in their eyes he missed while they were awake.

How could I have said those things to them, he thought while looking at said person enjoying their breakfast standing in front of the small kitchen and admiring the minimal city view. It was not much but it surely was something they enjoyed watching in the mornings or as the sun set. No matter how bad it would imprint on the photos they took, it was a breathtaking view they never got enough of.

Just another thing Ethan loved about them, finding such beauty in something so seemingly insignificant. He loved looking at them in moments like that, knowing how much in a trance they were, too deep in the beauty their eyes took in to say anything. Before the man could stop himself he utter the same three words from a few nights ago, “I love you”.

Y/N’s eyes widened, the information was not new but they did not expect this to be brought up again any time soon. “Ethan - I-I, uh-”

“You don’t have to say it back, cucciolo. I know how I feel, I am very sure of that. You don’t have to be there yet, you don’t have to say it… Not after what I said.”

They took a deep breath at that, one they had not realized they held back, still feeling guilty about their inability to simply say words. It is not that they did not feel it, was it?

It was not the last time this would happen. Only a few nights later, a similar incident occurred, Ethan admiring the person he is in love with, their eyes focused on their book, or at least trying to in the dark light they found themselves, a cigarette alternating from their lips to the ashtray on their side, looking like the perfect view at the side of the beach. Considering how hot the weather had been, the pair and their friends agreed on a field trip, the idea being they would either camp there that night or book a hotel room last minute. No one was going to drive that night, no one had to worry about having some alcohol in their system, so beers were a big thing around them, being passed back and forth.

“Hey, Y/N, do you want a beer?” Asked Victoria, getting up to pick one for her self, the other person nodding before she gave them their beer.

“I’d ask you as well Ethan, but seems you are too drunk on Y/N to drink any more beer,” she commented bringing forth a heatwave to happen on Y/N’s face and causing a big grin to cover the drummer’s face.

“What can I say? Can’t hide that I love them, can I?” Everyone laughed it off, Y/N included, but they felt slightly uncomfortable at the man’s words.

They had thought about it last time Ethan brought his feelings forth, knowing very well how they felt the same. They simply could not bring themselves to say it back. Maybe it had something to do with their life before him, and they would have a hard time saying it anyway, or maybe it had something to do with the loss of trust in the man after the pictures of the two kissing. Did he really love them if he was willing to say those things.

“Stop worrying so much about it, amore,” whispered Ethan, noticing Y/N’s state. “I told you, you don’t have to say it back, every one takes a different amount of time to do that.”

His tone and expression were reassuring but they knew this was hurting him a lot on the inside. So they apologized, looking down, ashamed, unsure… The whole situation created a whirlwind in their mind they could not control at the moment, instead opting for jumping into the cold water of the sea beside them, being sure that a bit of swimming would clear up their thoughts.

The same incident happened a few more times, Ethan never being able to contain his words, justifying it by saying how “I am simply trying to remind you that I meant what I said that night”. But Y/N was feeling pressured, as if the man was giving them a timeline, a reminder that they need to decide or it will be to late. One night, they could not take it any more, so they simply confronted him about it. He had just said it again, thankfully they were alone this time, meaning they could say all that they wanted.

“Why do you keep saying that, Ethan?”

“What do you even mean by that, Y/N?” He was simply taken aback, expecting everything but such anger after mentioning how he loves them.

“You keep saying how you love me, and you simply remind me of it, but man does it feel like you are trying to pry these words out of my mouth.”

“I would never do that and you know it!” Now the man was getting fed up as well. How could they accuse him of such thing?!

“Do I, Ethan? Do you even truly love me?”

“Wha- of course I do! What is this? Where is this coming from?”

“Did you love me when the photos of us came to the public?” They asked, voice now quiet, a contrast to their previous tone.

“What are you talking about amore, of course I did,” he responded just as softly, placing the palm of his hand over their face, swiftly collecting the few tears falling from their eyes. “Why are you crying, my love? What are you thinking?”

Y/N could not take it any more, they broke down in seconds, falling into Ethan’s open arms, soft sobs leaving their lips. “You- you said all those things that morning, a-and,” they hiccuped, “I-I am scared, Ethan��”

Their eyes were cast to the floor but Ethan could still see all the thoughts behind them. He finally realized what was happening, so he placed a kiss on their forehead, prompting them to finish their thought. “Could you really say those things if you loved me?” They whispered, moving away from the tall Italian, eyes cast to the floor and ever meeting his.

“Hey, hey look at me! What I said that morning came from a place of anxiety, overwhelming one at that. It does not mean it’s ok that I said that, of course not. But never doubt how much I love you, Y/N.” He paused for a second, his voice trembling as the words came out.

“Cause I do, and I did, but I could not control my emotions, instead I ended hurting yours. I don’t how many times I’ve apologized, but I will apologize that many more. I am sorry, sorry I made you feel so horrible, sorry for all the things I said, sorry for everything.” He said just as softly as before, hands cupping their face before leaving a deep kiss there.

“I love you,” finally said Y/N, feeling more sure and secure than they have for a while.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

[shadowhannibad]

TIRED

I’ll start by saying that I hate that I’m doing this. I did not want to give these people more of my time and attention, but alas, there’s only so much public bashing and vagueblogging a person can take. The infamous lazaefair has composed a list containing the ao3 ID user numbers of twelve people, made up of writers and artists, to be blocked “due to recent events”.  

I’m in the list. My ID user number is 8779004: ClaritaWinter. Now that you know this, does it make it easier for you to block me? “Oh, of course that racist cunt is there! Block on sight!” or does it make it a little harder? “Oh, I’ve read a few of her works and I enjoyed, damn, what should I do now?”

Regardless of your answer, this situation is disgusting. The list is being seen by some as just a helpful way for people who want to curate their fandom experience, but since you can’t actively search the people on that list, you will have no idea who’s content you are “protecting” yourself from. Some of the people in that list have never written porn. Some of them have never drawn porn or anything remotely close to it so far. Others have written 20k+ fics solely focused on Joe that will be immediately dismissed for the simple, small and (what should be) irrelevent detail that Joe topped in it or it was written by an author who commonly writes topJoe (yes, the trend of using top/bottom as “the rule of the thumb” to assess how racist is a a fic continues). 

What I’m gonna say here is pretty much obvious but... do not outsource your opinions. You can check those people and decide that yes, the content they create is not for you and this case, by all means, block them, make your experience online better. But don’t do something just because someone told you to, not without proper context, especially when that person has proven time and time again how malicious her intents are. Lazaefair is not an authority on fandom racism. She does not get to decide or to tell you which works are racist and what aren’t. Or which ones are intentionally harmful or unintentionally fall under racist stereotypes. She does not get to sanction how a person should write Joe based on her whims, morals, her personal experience that isn’t of a MENA gay man. 

Every talk about representation and racism in this fandom always gets warped back into the top/bottom narrative to the point, and that weakens their own argument. Joe-centric fics now are only bottom Joe fics, then? TopJoe isn’t racist in itself, as they keep saying, but if you’re looking for racist trends in fics, well, then the topJoe tag is where you should begin. Are you serious? And you still don’t want people to perceive this as a top/bottom discourse? Or as policing? Every action that they take contradicts their own words. 

I’m only naming lazaefair here because she was the one who made the blocklist (and other redundant, pathetic list as well), but I know there are plenty of other vocal perpetrators that have backed her up since… July 2020. That’s right, since July. I’m not going to name them in this post because they haven't attacked me directly as she has done it, so cowardly, twice.

I started writing fanfiction in January, 2021. TOG is literally the first fandom I have ever written for. English is my second language, I’m not a professional writer and my fics are usually short, around 3k.  All of my fics have been TopJoe. All of them, without exception. I’m not ashamed of that, and I am aware this puts a target on my back in this fandom, but I ask you, do your own research, go through my fucking ao3 first and see for yourself. If you still think my content isn’t for you, at least it’s your choice.

If I hadn’t been so used to the general mess that this fandom is, this could’ve broken me. I’m still very, very insecure about my writing and I’m always surprised that people take their time to read what I write at all. In case people think that the members on that list shouldn’t be offended, here’s what this list is pretty much saying: These authors and artists are racists because they write/support top!Joe content. They’re dangerous. Protect yourselves.

How in the fuck am I not supposed to take this personally and not be pissed off? Tell me, how? 

I’m not saying I might not have reproduced racist stereotypes in my writing. I am a human being living in a racist, cisheteronormative, capitalistic society, so yes that’s a possibility. Even though I always try to be mindful about giving Joe dimensionality and not to make his sole character revolve around Nicky (of course, some of my fics are just porn and neither one of them have much in terms of dimensionality so, well). But do I deserve to have my user put in a list that is telling others that my porn is a danger to society? 

It’s also very interesting that this is blowing up right in the middle of a fun event that the TopJoe server is running and decided, for the first time, to open it to the general public.

If you have made up your mind about me based on other people’s opinions, I literally don’t have anything else to say to you. If you don’t,  I will just ask you this: Don’t outsource your critical thinking. Don’t go after someone without knowing their side just because SJW #3 said you should.  Do your research. 

But you don’t get to tell me how I should feel about that list. It’s not your ID in it. It’s not you that have had your views and words turned into something ugly by someone whose sole purpose seems to be to drive every person with a topJoe preference out of this fandom. It’s not your friends having anxiety attacks right now. You do not get to do that. 

Last but not fucking least, if you are a “mary-go-with-others” (as we say here in Brazil) then yeah, fucking block me, I don’t want weak-minded people around me.

[kamilah-the-bloodqueen]

Remember Me (4/???)

I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO FINISH. Honestly I lost a lot of motivation to write after Bloodbound because PB has greatly decreased in the quality of their books. I am still trying to find the time and motivation to write and am forcing myself to finish my series at the very least but if I am being completely honest I feel like the Kamilah fandom has died, PB’s books mostly suck and I don’t even really play choices anymore. Who knows, I’m trying to learn to write the code for episode so maybe I’ll start posting my own stories and choices on that platform with better plot, smut and less diamond focus since it would be a hobby. This chapter is ASS and mostly just moves the plot along - so if you want action I would wait for a different series or later chapter - okay bye!

Pairing: Adrian x MC x Kamilah (Amy)

Tags: I paused the tag list since it’s been so fucking long but if you want a tag please let me know because I’m pretty sure most people think this series died with me :)

Words: ~1500 (Short because I needed to finish a chapter to motivate me to finish the next)

Kamilah took a deep breath as she knelt on the floor beside Adrian, carefully wrapping her arms around her brother, her heart sinking with every sob that left his lips. She didn’t speak, she knew her words would come off too harshly and she couldn’t blame Adrian for feeling that way, after all she knew how much he loved Amy. 

“Adrian, I’m sorry. I...I truly don’t know what to say.” As their eyes met Kamilah saw exactly how devastated he was, and even in her two thousand years of life, she had never been in his situation. 

“Kamilah, do you think she’ll...well she says we’re just friends but do you think she’ll fall in love with me again?” His lips trembled, his hands shaking and his eyes glistened with tears. 

“I don’t know. As much as I believe love is a silly mortal affair, and a simple chemical reaction, it can’t be forced but I’m sure if you just be yourself and do your best to be her friend that any romantic feelings will follow.” Kamilah moved away as Adrian calmed himself, both of them passing a nod of agreement as he wiped his face clean with tissues. 

“Your wisdom has always guided me well Kamilah.” 

“I suppose that is two thousand sixty three years of experience speaking.” 

“Heh, I guess my two hundred years don’t nearly compare...” 

“You’re still a simple child in my eyes, I just took a liking to you.”

“Well, thank you Kamilah. It seems I owe you quite a bit.”

They both stood from the floor and took seats on Adrian’s office couch, Kamilah folding her legs and crossing her arms and Adrian crossing his ankles and folding his arms. 

“We’re practically siblings - you don’t owe me anything. Just try to take care of yourself and well...don’t expect anything from Amy. I’m sure this is difficult for her, difficult is an understatement. I can’t imagine what she’s experiencing.”

“Maybe I’ve been too selfish Kamilah...I’ve been thinking more about what I want from her instead of focusing on if she’s okay or what she wants.” 

“Sometimes it’s alright to be selfish, and I can understand why you felt that way but you are correct, we need to focus on what Amy wants now, not what she wanted before the accident.”

“You’re absolutely right. I can only hope for the best...I just really...I really wanted...I believed she was the one.” 

“I know you did. I wanted her to be the one for you as well, I still hope she comes back to you Adrian.”

“Me too.” 

Adrian’s phone buzzed at the same time Kamilah’s did, Lily having texted both of them to rendezvous with her and Jax at Amy’s old apartment to talk about the recent events. 

“We should go, but do you feel okay?” Kamilah patted Adrian’s shoulder as they both stood from the couch.

“Yes I think so.” They hurried to the elevator and got into Adrian’s black Mercedes as they navigated towards Lily’s apartment. Once they arrived Lily greeted them before guiding them up to the apartment where Jax waited on the couch with a beer in hand.

“Hey guys...how ya doin?” His words were slurred and he was obviously under the influence to a decent extent. 

“Tell me you have something other than beer Lily.” Kamilah grimaced as Jax took another swig of the beer. She had no problem with beer but she hated that brand and would rather remain sober than allow herself to drink that brand. 

“Yeah, vodka or wine?”

“Vodka.” Kamilah spoke without hesitation while Adrian grabbed a beer from the fridge and took a seat next to Jax on the couch. Lily began to pour Kamilah a shot, and once the glass was full Kamilah took the bottle from her and took two large gulps before sitting on the leather chair and holding the bottle with one hand. 

“So we’re here to get drunk? I thought we were supposed to talk about Amy?” Kamilah’s voice broke the deathly silence that filled the room. Adrian leaned in the door before removing his tie, unbuttoning his shirt and, grabbing three bottles of the cheap beer and sinking into the recliner opposite of Lily and Jax. 

“I didn’t want to drink...well grieve...alone. I mean I can’t do this with Amy anymore...well I could but it wouldn’t be the same... and I have my friend back but it’s really just...it’s not the same. I don’t know I just didn’t...you can leave if you want but I didn’t want to grieve alone…” Lily began to sob, her tears falling into her glass of wine as Jax and Adrian frowned. Kamilah held her stoic expression, but even the alcohol could not erase the ache she felt in her chest.

“I see, well I guess we all process grief differently…” Kamilah spoke calmly, but deep down she felt her own sense of grief. As she gazed around she realized how messy Jax’s hair and clothes were, and how exhausted and drained Lily was. “You guys look a mess…”

“Thanks Kamilah.” Jax drunkenly snickered and Lily sniffled. Adrian remained quiet, taking a long drink from the bottle in his hand before switching to the other glass and downing it just as quickly. 

“Does this not fucking hurt you?” Lily drunkenly scolded as Kamilah flinched ever so slightly. None of them had ever heard Lily so fragile, so devastated. She had every reason to be - she had lost her best friend - even though Amy had survived the accident, the memories were all gone and everything they had once shared was gone. 

“It...does...I was just remarking on-”

“I don’t care about your remarks, at least not now. Don’t you fucking get it? I lost my fucking best friend and I have to watch her find everything again! Do you know how that fucking feels Kamilah? I’m sure you do from all your time as a vampire, but please, for the love of god and for the sake of our friendship just shut the fuck up. I can’t handle this.” Lily’s hand gripped on her bottle as it shattered against her palm, the beer pouring onto the tile floor and seeping into the edges of the carpet. 

“I...apologize Lily…”

“It’s fine! It’s fine! Everything is fine I guess. I don’t know I just...I’m not coping well...and I feel guilty for saying that because Amy has it the hardest of us all and yet here I am getting wasted to be in her position - to forget everything while also being the person who put her in this position in the first fucking place. I don’t think it’ll ever be the same as it was before…”

“Maybe that’s for the best…” Adrian finally joined the conversation. Kamilah, Lily and Jax turned to face him as he swirled the bottle around in his hand - his brown eyes shiny from the tears that had built up. “...we all lost someone...Amy was a different person to each of us...but maybe we have to lose that person for some reason…”

“Adrian, do not try to give me that ‘it’s for the best’ bullshit.” Lily took a deep breath as Adrian shrugged. 

“I’m not. I guess it’s just the alcohol talking, but I was going to propose to Amy that night and maybe it was a sign I shouldn’t have, or maybe the world is punishing me for my sins...but fuck all of that...it’s...it’s a forgotten memory and we need to forget just like Amy...”  

---------------- Amy’s POV ------------------

It was a weird feeling that I couldn’t describe. Having people who seemed like strangers tell me all about the things we’ve done together gave me such comfort and anxiety at the same time. I wanted to believe and trust each of them but at the same time, it would be so easy to lie about it. Maybe I’m just being paranoid about the situation - nobody would really benefit from creating an elaborate story just to mess with my mind. 

God this IV really stings...and now that I’m thinking about it, my ribs really hurt too. I should call the doctor or nurse but it’s nearly midnight. I mean it’s their job but they’re humans and I don’t want to be that super needy patient…

At least that Lily girl seems genuine, I can see why I was her best friend. I appreciate her sincerity more than I can verbalize to her. I’m still wary of Jax though - that man looks like he could kill in an instant and I don’t want to get on his bad side. I’m glad they’re friends with each other though - they seem to get along really well and...Adrian. Poor bastard. I broke his heart. I broke his heart and I can’t even help it. How am I supposed to even really process that whole fucking mess. He’s so sweet and gentle and genuine and I can’t even reciprocate it back to him...but maybe with time I could…? But Kamilah...she makes my heart skip a beat too...but she’s so unlike anyone I’ve even taken interest in - callous and stoic most of the time with very few soft spots. It wouldn’t be any type of understatement to claim my heart is as confused as my head.