#YES STANFORD ERA SAM ON TOP (of me please)

[mxltifxnd0m]

stanford era! sam will always be famous to me

shoutout to every stanford!Sam we will write the most nasty and wild smut about about you

[preseriesdean]

if you don’t mind me asking, could you share some of your favorite fanfics or authors? thanks ❤️

oh hi hello!! yes of course!! i actually haven't read any spn fic in a while but i have spent a lot of time organizing my bookmarks. i'm going to assume that you meant samdean fic but i'll add a few non-samdean ones at the end.

authors!

@zmediaoutlet (deadlybride on ao3)

candle_beck (ao3)

@goshen-applecrumbledore (ao3)

whereupon (livejournal)

Linden (ao3)

sevenfists (ao3)

there are so many more great authors but these came to mind :)

fics!

i am going to list my forever-favorites first - the ones i would recommend to anyone and everyone, screaming-from-the-rooftops kind of love - and then many many more under the cut.

beloved by urchinesque (2016, 1.9k, NR, warning: death) It might be the gentlest thing that's ever happened to them.

in my opinion everyone should read this once. it's quick. they die. it's-- happy, somehow. beautiful. i think about it all the time.

Last Day on Earth by candle_beck (2009, 10.8k, E) A list of things to do if you only have one day to live, presented in inconvenient non-list form.

last year my best friend and i were pondering which fic felt quintessential to samdean for us and somehow settled on this one. i still agree with the choice.

Odysseus, American by coyotesuspect (2010, 10k, M) Dean finds Peter O'Toole's recording of the Odyssey in a bin marked “Audio" in Casa Grande's only used bookstore. The place smells like cigarette smoke and old books, and it reminds him of Sam. Stanford era.

my favorite stanford era fic. i think it captures dean's loneliness and desperation beautifully.

A man with his insides out and his outsides off by britomart_is (2016, 5.3k, E, time travel, underage) They say there are only two stories in the world: man goes on a journey, and stranger comes to town.

another fic i want everyone to read. it's so short and feels like a novel. sam is messed up and dean is in love and everything is miserable.

Breathing Hard by whereupon (2009, 9k, E) The day Dean figures it out.

this is so simple and yet-- everything to me. i can't think about dinosaurs without thinking about this fic, which doesn't tell you much, but you'll see. sometimes this is really all you need.

The Last Outpost of All That Is by gekizetsu (2008, 59k, E) The world ends while they’re asleep.

this fic has stayed with me my whole life. i thought about it even during my years away from spn and fandom entirely. they're alone and you don't know why and they build their life together and you end up wondering, is this hell or heaven? whenever i come across a screenshot of the last couple of paragraphs i want to cry.

see things so much clearer by deadlybride (2020, 11.7k, E) Sam's been acting oddly. Dean learns how to use the history on an internet browser and finds out why.

this is a fic that hits the spot for me personally so well. another favorite preseries fic. i love the idea of sam using livejournal, and of dean finding out this way.

Stay The Distance by lazy_daze (2011, 24k, E) Sam is dependent on Dean's touch and closeness after the wall falls - Dean's presence reminds him of why he chose to wake up, and keeps the memories at bay, allowing Sam to function.

i love enmeshment, and i love that here it's literal. i love that they're just sort of fine with it.

more fics below!

in absolutely no particular order whatsover. please check the warnings and tags on these before reading!

Recall by De_Nugis (2012, 6.3k, E) Sam's having a hard time telling what's real and what isn't, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.

Living in god's blind spot by applecrumbledore (2022, 25k, E) Of all the situations Dean didn’t need his dad to see him in, ‘getting off to being pushed around by a guy’ was in the top three. And ‘a guy’ was a massive glossing-over of reality. Any guy—any other guy—would be bad enough, but Sam was fucking cataclysmic.

Almost At Home by balefully (2008, 24.3k, E) Sam graduates from high school in early June in rural Tennessee. He and Dean start the summer with an all-nighter of celebration; the day after, while both fight hangovers, John calls to assign them their first hunt by themselves.

they said it was the fall of man by jukeboxhound (2016, 7.4k, M) Sam gets his soul back on a Monday.

When I Fall Asleep It Is Your Eyes That Close by britomart_is (2009, 1.9k, E) Post-Season Two. Sam is alive. Dean is happy.

Life As We Know It by sevenfists (2007, 13.7k, M, curtain fic) On the morning that Sam woke up, Dean ran five red lights on the way to the hospital, his half-empty coffee cup sloshing in the holder.

tied up like two ships by orphan_account (2014, 3.1k, E) Dean liked to hold hands.

Gospel Truth by Cerberuss (2020, 15.2k, E, case fic) ‘DOES YOUR BROTHER KNOW THAT YOU WANT HIM?’ Individually placed letters, bold and tinged brown with the weather. Sam can’t look away and he prays, dream dream dream.

Buy You A Mockingbird by candle_beck (2011, 10.3k, M, underage, outsider pov) A genuine horror story.

because you want to die for love by hathfrozen (2021, 27.3k, E) Sam and Dean settle into their Heaven—and into each other, too.

the constant vow by deadlybride (2022, 119k, E, fem dean-ish) They've just finished up a pretty standard job and are killing time in snowy Wisconsin when Dean wakes up no longer looking like Dean. That's just the start of their problems.

This Fortress Made of Us by mickeym (2009, 10.8k, E) Sam really didn't do very well without his brother. Coda for Mystery Spot.

State of Love and Trust/As I Busted Down the Pretext by cormallen (2010, 2.9k, M) When you know exactly what your brother's thinking, there are some chances you just don't take.

Quiet with the Rain by Linden (2014, 5.3k, T) Dean can spot an undercover cop at thirty paces, a hooker at twenty, and rims that will match his baby's at ten. But the fact that his little brother is in love with him—that, he can't see worth a damn.

have a cigar by deadlybride (2020, 5.6k, E) What happened with Andy and Ansem unsettles Sam. Dean doesn't seem worried.

Heart Shaped Balloon by winsive (2022, 18.5k, E, underage) Sam and Dad are fighting. No surprise, but it's the weekend before Valentine's Day and Dean isn't missing out on the chance to bang a cheerleader just to console his bratty little brother. He does bring back a heart shaped balloon for him, though. It's not supposed to be cursed.

Bare by gracerene (2022, 2.2k, T) Of all the things Dean hasn't done before, Sam never expected something as innocuous as skinny dipping to be on the list.

Speechless by candle_beck (2008, 11.2k, T, case fic) Dean loses his voice and their rapport is only moderately impaired.

Like It Was Yesterday by nomelon (2014, 4.9k, T, fem dean, amnesia) Sam can't remember a time when Dean wasn't there. Dean is always with him. Sam's whole life, there's never been anyone else.

Like a Ghost with Two Voices by Dyed_Red (2022, 46k, E) To cure Dean from the Mark of Cain, Sam has to let Dean, in all his demonic glory, possess him for 28 days. It goes about as well as expected.

Breathe You In (Choke You Down) by orphan_account (2021, 5.9k, E, pwp) Dean really likes the way Sam smells.

lost in yesterday by margaryes (2023, 1k, NR, john pov) John hasn’t seen his youngest son in 18 months.

Unraveling by Linden (2017, 855 words, E) No, he’d said, the first time Sammy had tried to kiss him, sixteen and half-drunk and stupidly beautiful, even though he’d wanted so badly to say yes.

pack up the moon by deathdreamt (2021, 5.9k, T, pre-slash) Sam storms back out from their room, his backpack on and his duffel hanging off his shoulder and isn’t it kind of tragic that his whole life fits in two bags. He looks suddenly much younger than he is, eyes shining. John is back at his guns, whiskey at his elbow, and Dean can hardly believe how rapidly his life is cracking down the centre.

Yesterday, minnesota by applecrumbledore (2022, 30k, E, case fic) Any initial awkwardness filtered away over a hundred miles of highway as Sam thumbed through the missing witch’s diary again. Some people had secret coke habits or secret second wives, and some people had passionate, pitch black, no-kissing sex with a family member every four to six months and never talked about it. You had to find ways to cope.

All Heartless Spectres, Happiness by orphan_account (2021, 5.6k, E) Lisa Braeden receives an email with the subject line, "You Deserve to Know." It contains a single video file and nothing else. (soulless sam)

The Palm Oasis by fictionallemons (2022, 12.3k, E, underage) John strands Dean and Sam at a middle-of-nowhere motel while he investigates possible demon omens in Arizona. The place is nothing to write home about, but at least it has a pool. Dean resolves to think of this as a vacation for him and his studious little brother, but when their money runs out sooner than expected, he considers turning tricks at a nearby truck stop so he can feed Sam.

Other Brothers by homo_pink (2020, 7k, M, underage, outsider pov) A callow boy can go from infancy to someone’s lover in the space of two wildflower summers.

Leader of the Pack by astolat (2007, 14.9k, E) Teaching old dogs new tricks.

Underground Wires by eggnogged (2012, 15.8k, E, fem sam, underage) It’s hard enough being a teenage girl even without all the extra crap: they move around all the time, her family is as far removed from normal as it’s possible to get, and she’s in love with her older brother. Sam has no control on any of it, she’s just trying to stay afloat.

Multitude of Sins by Linden (2015, 4.4k, T, outsider pov) Every now and again, Jim Murphy would look up from his altar and find the Winchester boys at the back of his church.

Like Arrows in the Hands of a Warrior by ADeedWithoutaName (2018, 10.3k, E, underage, dub con-ish, john pov) John Winchester loves his boys, and would take a bullet for either of them. He knows that he's doing it right, the way he's raising them, the things he's teaching them. Not every problem, however, has an easy answer. Like what to do after an incubus case in which their target got his pollen all over both of John's sons.

You Can't Lose What You Never Had by nigeltde (2016, 5.6k, E) You can't spend what you ain't got, and you can't lose what you ain't never had.

Flagstaff by Linden (2014, 7.3k, T, pre-slash, john pov) John tracked Sam down in Flagstaff, four days after he got home to find him gone.

I'll take my chance on a beautiful stranger by fleshflutter (2007, 3.8k, M, outsider pov) If Chase were a better friend, he might try to end the game now, before Brendan loses even more money. But if Brendan is a dick at Stanford, it’s nothing compared to how he is on break.

Cupid's Got A Gun by geckoholic (2012, 13.5k, E, non-con) Fuck-or-die, set in early S4. But they've been fucking for years, so that shouldn't be a problem, right? Wrong. Ever since hell, Dean's in no hurry to get that show on the road again.

Someone Else's Blood by sevenfists (2006, 6.7k, E) The first time, of course, was an accident. (pretend dating)

How Many Floors to Realize by lazy_daze (2009, 26k, E, swesson) AU from the end of It's A Terrible Life, in which Zachariah decides to keep stringing them along a little while longer, because damn if they aren't somewhat entertaining, right?

Worthless cartography by applecrumbledore (2022, 15.6k, E) Dean didn’t know what finally made him go for it. The djinn’s dream was a catalyst, but the call was coming from inside the house, and he’d been letting it ring for a very, very long time. (They get one night together right before Sam is taken to Cold Oak. Dean has to deal with that.)

The Space Between Sense and Memory by orphan_account (2021, 4.8k, T) There are a hundred unwritten rules on all the acceptable ways brothers should touch each other. There are hardly any ways at all to break them. Or; five times they follow the rules and one time they don’t.

Ions in the Ether by nigeltde (2019, 10.9k, E, case fic) When was the last time you trusted happy.

Crossed Wires by rivkat (2015, 10.9k, E) Dean thinks Sam is dead.

Crown and Anchor Me (or let me sail away) by Sena (2010, 23.7k, E, underage) Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn't get along with his distant, distracted father, he's figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he's a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who's taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.

Wear Him Lika a Habit by sevenfists (2008, 2.2k, M) Their first kiss isn't an accident. It's anticipated well in advance, discussed for weeks, argued over, second-guessed.

Amor Prohibido by phoenixflight (2020, 3k, M, underage) They spent the spring of Sam's sophomore year living in a shitty apartment south of San Antonio. Every Friday night the clearest channel played three hour marathons of a Spanish soap called La Casa del Corazón. There was a mutually understood truce about watching it, because the alternatives were infomercials or creepy kids’ cartoons that futzed into static every fifteen seconds.

Open Road by Mollyamory (2010, 2k, T) Sam's old enough to know what's good for him.

It's the Blueprint of Your Life by queenklu (2011, 38.4k, time travel) Sam jerks awake in the middle of the night and everything goes to hell. Well, not literally, though Dean is staring down the barrel of less than a year before his deal comes due. In the midst of dealing (or not dealing) with his impending death, a killer ghost ship, and Bela showing up out of the blue, Dean also has to figure out what’s going on in Sam’s head to make him so twitchy, why he’s suddenly breezing through this case while writing endless notes in a notebook he won’t let Dean see.

North of Wednesday by Mollyamory (2008, 3.5k, G) Sam's behind the wheel before he realizes he doesn't have the keys. Coda to Mystery Spot.

non-wincest fic.

dean/omc. We Drank a Thousand Times by glorious_spoon (2010, 43k, M, warning: death) They meet in a bar fight in North Carolina when Dean is nineteen, broke, and desperate, then again when a hunt brings the Winchesters into town a few years later. Neither one of them ever puts a name to it but every once in a while, through the years, Dean finds his way back.

dean/cas: terror & desire intertwined by rupertgayes (2022, 39k, M) Faced with Castiel suffering a fate worse than death, Dean makes the decision to let Cas use his body as a temporary vessel. All things considered, Dean thinks, it could have gone worse.

gen, sam&dean: what lasts by deadlybride (2021, 17.2k, M) Not long after they move into the bunker, Dean loses a leg. Most of a leg. After the hospital, Sam brings him home, and they figure out how to live with what remains.

gen, dean-centric: To Repair Broken Men by procrastin8or951 (2015, 3.1k, T) Dad and Sam keep fighting. Dean can't fix his family, so he fixes things around the crappy apartment they are staying in.

dean/michael: our hour came round at last by orphan_account (2015, 1.8k, NR, pwp) "I want to be inside you," says Michael, low and velvet and hungry and that really shouldn't turn Dean on but it does.

dean/lucifer, dean/cas: exploratory by sp8ce (2022, 4.9k, E, non-con) One night, Castiel proposes he and Dean have sex. Except it's a little more complicated than that.

dean/cas: for a healthy heart by Askance (2013, 2.4k, T) A strange black box appears in Castiel's bedroom one afternoon.

gen, sam&dean: charmer & gentle by Askance (2015, 3.7k, G, outsider pov) The afternoon girl calls them Big and Tall, the strangers who come in late every now and then, buying this or that. The night girl doesn't think those names fit quite right.

dean/cas, past sam/dean: whose wings, though tattered, shall carry me home by fleshflutter (2009, 2.2k, T) There is a breeze moving across the field. It stirs the long grass in lapping waves like the sea. Castiel runs his fingertips through it and remembers flying.

[youchangedmedestiel]

omg please tell us about your endverse Cas and Stanford era Dean WIP!!

I'm so happy you asked about this one. The idea came from this art and the ficlet that goes with it on the link above. See for me it looks like Endverse Cas and Stanford era Dean. Probably because Dean looks younger since he doesn’t have a beard. So I worked with that.

And then, I wrote this:

What if, Endverse Cas ended up somehow in early 2005. Just before everything went sideways, because despite acting all defeated, he still has hope to save Dean. Because this is what this is all about. He loves Dean and wants to save him from being hopeless and helpless after Sam said yes to Lucifer. He wants to avoid him that nightmare.

So, he finds a way.

He meets Dean in a bar, drinking alone. His father out on a hunt somewhere and Sam in Stanford.

Cas talks with him and buys him a beer. He tells him he is a hunter, lies about knowing John Winchester to gain Dean’s trust. Because what does he have to lose?

He knows Dean so well. He recognizes him so easily. He changed but not really. He is still him. Still the most loving human being he knows. Still beautiful, still Dean Winchester.

They exchange about hunt stories and Dean just confesses about the current case he is working on. Cas lies that this is why he is here, to work on the same one. And Dean offers to join forces. He invites him in his motel room, because Dean is not as wary as he became, because Cas didn’t betray him yet and he is still young.

They work that case together. Cas feels almost like an angel, it’s like he can fly again. He doesn’t want to leave Dean’s side, he’s got to make sure he is safe.

Dean accepts his help, that’s not the first time he worked with another hunter that is not his family. Plus, the guy knows how to use a gun, and a blade. He is surprisingly good at it for someone who is on drugs all the time.

One night, he settles in his queen bed, next to Dean’s, his joint in his mouth. Dean approaches to take it out of his mouth, mumbling something about the smell being so strong he feels like it never leaves his clothes. But Cas grabs his wrist before he can do anything and pulls him on top of him. Dean obviously falls on him, surprised and struggling. But Cas’s hands on him are so gentle and so careful. The kind of touch he never received from a man. Especially not his father.

So he melts into it. He closes his eyes, when fingers snake between his locks. He gasps when soft lips brush his. He just lies there, when a hand strokes his back.

When Cas kisses Dean’s neck, his stubble scratches Dean’s throat.

Maybe Cas took too much drugs, or Dean inhaled a lot of it, because at some point Cas offers Dean to ride him and Dean accepts. They both strip and settle back on the bed.

[rpsocsandcanonohmy]

Odd numbers for the Sam ask? Please?

1. Best sam-centric episode?

Answered here

3. Worst season of Sam?

Off the top of my head I wanna say season 8 because they bungled up the first half so badly with the “love story” between him and Amelia. I think season 9 edged it out though because the way they handled the Gadreel storyline is an absolute travesty. Sam was gaslighted by the person he trusted most and was violated in the worst way, yet he’s supposed to just be okay with it because Dean feels so sad he can’t even properly apologize -_-

5. Best and worst hair?

Answered here

7. Your take on blurry wife?

I hope she knows how lucky she is.

I’m also completely willing to believe she’s some kind of undercover agent who’s supposed to be keeping an eye on him

9. powers/boyking!Sam or witch!Sam?

Boyking!Sam all the way. I love a murdery boy

11. Meg!Sam, Lucifer!Sam or Gadreel!Sam?

Lucifer!Sam. There’s just something so...chilling about him. He’s the most obviously different version of Sam and I love all the dark implications that go along with the “consensual” possession

13. Sam & Mary or Sam & John?

Answered here

15. Dynamic that should have been explored more?

Answered here

17. Sam headcanon about the stanford era?

Sam kept an eye out for anything that looked like a hunt in the news so he could feel closer to Dean and John. Sometimes he even found time to do research for the case.

19. Favorite of Sam's canon love interests?

I’m gonna go with Jess here. I think she was good for him and I like to think he would’ve ended up telling her the truth anyway

21. What thing Sam antis say about him makes you most mad?

Any time the idea of Sam being selfish comes up in any context, especially when it’s a time that makes Dean look bad. No, Sam was not a bad person for wanting to escape the hunting life and have something resembling normalcy. No, Sam is not a bad person for being mad about being gaslighted by the person he trusted most. We can debate about what happened when Dean was in purgatory but based on literally every other selfless thing Sam has done over the course of the series, I imagine he only abandoned hunting under dire circumstances.

23. Scene/episode that makes you want to chew glass

I already talked about the Gadreel thing so I’m gonna say that one scene where Cas told Sam that Lucifer was “our” responsibility even though Sam had nothing to do with him being let out of the Cage.

Like. Cas. My dude. YOU said yes to Lucifer. YOU believed his lies. YOU let him walk around inside you while you watched netflix in the bunker. YOU were perfectly fine with everything. You don’t get to pretend to be traumatized and spread your blame to the one that actually had the balls to stare down the Devil, his worst tormentor, and tell him to fuck off.

25. Which villain obsessed with Sam is your favorite?

Answered here

27. Your take on Bobby's treatment of Sam?

I think his favoritism towards Dean was obvious even before he stated it. Even when he wasn’t being possessed by a demon he was often condescending to Sam and a lot of his gendered insults were directed toward him.

Of course, my biggest issue is with Dean doing nothing to stop this but yeah Bobby was a dick and it taints his character a bit for me.

29. Your thoughts on Sam and demon blood?

I wish his addiction had been addressed more in the later seasons. It seems like he just wasn’t affected by it at all after the apocalypse where it should’ve come up at least as a background detail. The fact that demon!Dean didn’t even attempt to feed Sam his blood is a crime.

[zmediaoutlet]

in support of Black Lives Matter, @theactualpiemaker donated $20, and requested Dean/Bobby, Stanford-era. Thank you for donating!

to get your own personalized fic, please see this post. (no longer taking prompts)

John Winchester, Bobby thinks for the tenth--hundredth--thousandth time--is a real son-of-a-bitch.

“Come on, boy,” he says, not trying all that hard to be nice, tugging. “This isn’t the place you’re gonna die.”

“Feels like it,” Dean says, gasping, and--well, he might have a point.

There’s blood all over the snow, soaking in black in the night, and there’s pale flesh all torn on his leg, and if that claw nicked the artery--but there’s no way of knowing that for sure, and there’s no sense in worrying over it if it can’t be changed. Bobby tears off a long strip of the kid’s shirt, winds it around quick at the top of the thigh for a field-dressing, just in case. Feels Dean shaking, from the shock, and who can blame him. Still. “No one ever survived hunting by being soft, princess,” he says, and offers his hands to Dean. “No more laying around moaning about it. Up you get.”

Dean tips his head back against the snow, panting into the dark, but then curls up, puts his hands in Bobby’s. They slick together from the blood but that’s okay--Bobby just grips harder, their bones grinding--and together they leverage Dean up out of the puddle he’s making, and Dean makes a soft incoherent sound and staggers forward, fetching up hard against Bobby’s chest. Bobby wraps an arm around his shoulders, feels him breathing hard against his throat and chest, his body quivering. “Sack up, kid,” he says, but softer, and Dean grips into his jacket--more blood, and he’d liked this jacket--and leans into him harder for a second before he nods and pushes up, balancing on his one boot. Bobby grips his shoulder, nods back. “All right, then. Time to move.”

“Yes, sir,” Dean says, torn-up, and Bobby holds him up so they can stagger together.

This wasn’t his job. He’d sworn it off. John Winchester and his boys and all the terrible crap that came along with them. He’d nearly killed John, near-on a year ago, and it would’ve been well deserved if he’d followed through. Bastard. The boys followed with John, though, of course--although it turned out that Sam hadn’t. Then, damn him, if John didn’t start sending his other boy out on hunts on his own, like hunting alone wasn’t a surefire way to get hurt or killed no matter how many years of miserable training had been crammed down the kid’s throat, and that meant that when Bobby was in the area just investigating, wondering if there was any truth to what he’d heard about winter at Kabetogama Lake, he found Dean Winchester on his own, fighting off two shadows in the dark, and once those were taken care of he got himself saddled with a bloody kid, who never should’ve been out there in the first place.

He explains this to the shivering lump in the backseat--mainly talking so there’s something to keep Dean awake, because it’s colder than a happy hell and sleeping in that that plus bleeding out surely isn’t a good combination, in Bobby’s inexpert medical opinion. He further expands on his opinion of Minnesota in general, on the damn frozen lakes and the spirits that idiots dredge up out of them, and on boys who can’t wait for some damn backup before wading out into danger, and it turns out Dean is awake after all because he shifts at that, grumbles woozy: “Wasn’t like I had a choice.”

“Oh, yeah, that fight was just set in stone from time immemorial,” Bobby says, and in the rearview of his Chevelle he sees Dean’s eyes close, pained, and he bites his tongue against the other things he could say and steps on the gas, instead.

The cabin’s small but it’s got a good gas fireplace, and a wooden table that can hold a man’s weight--or a boy’s, when Bobby gets Dean’s ass settled on the edge and then makes him tip back. “I’m not going to lie to you, kid,” Bobby says, tearing at Dean’s jeans to show up the wounds in the firelight. Damn, that’s nasty. “This is going to suck. Royal-ass suck.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Dean says, smiling brief and pale, and Bobby rolls his eyes but pats Dean’s belly, too, proud of him despite everything, and then there’s nothing for it but needle and floss and grain alcohol and holding Dean’s hand against the squirming when the holy water sluices out the wounds, and making him comfortable when he passes out, after.

Bobby carries him to the bed. Doesn’t seem right, even if he was a fool, to make him sleep on the table after all that. He strips off the bloody coat, the too-big flannel shirt, the boots and socks and jeans. His boxers are torn only on the one leg and his t-shirt’s black and if it’s stained Bobby doesn’t know about it, and he’s all paleness there in the bed--bloodloss and his face drawn, even sleeping, and his lips pale too. That amulet, the one Bobby let Sam have years ago, still slung around Dean’s neck. He touches the sharp little horns, lightly, and then presses his fingers to Dean’s throat, checking his pulse. There, steady. That’s about as much as Bobby knows to check for. He drags over the chair, settles down. This boy. All the things Bobby had hoped for him, had known he was a damn idiot for hoping for. Well. Bobby can look after him, at least. For now. For as long as he can.

A fever, the next day. Not unexpected, but a pain in the ass. “You Winchesters,” Bobby says, laying snow-wet t-shirts at Dean’s forehead and chest, trying to bring the temperature down. “Never giving me rest.”

“Sorry,” Dean says, shivering, and Bobby shakes his head.

“It’s no fun to tell you what’s what if you actually believe it, kid,” he says, and Dean blinks at him heavy-eyed, doesn’t understand. Just as well. He has to help Dean to the toilet, and tries to give him privacy for that and the cleaning up, and he pours a slug of the good whiskey down his throat later and, hey, Dean doesn’t hurl it right back up. That’s progress.

Dean talks, when he has a fever. Bobby’d forgotten that. When he was a little boy it was all cartoons and monsters, and talking to Sam whether or not his brother was there. That part’s not different.

“Sammy,” Dean mumbles, when Bobby touches his forehead. Sammy, when he wakes up, and Sammy when the middle-of-the-night gets too strange, and Bobby touches him then, too, and lays a heavy hand on Dean’s chest when he weeps, feverish and confused and overcome. He fall asleep with no fuss, when that’s done, and Bobby chews the inside of his lip and wonders. These two kids, and their dad. He never meant to get into the middle of it but it wasn’t like he had much of a choice.

Like it’s immutable? he thinks to himself, and shakes his head. He always had choices, and he made them. No matter what an idiot it made him. No matter what it cost, sometimes, when he sat awake in the middle of the night with a bottle in his hand, thinking of days that could’ve been.

Fever breaks in the middle of the night, on the second day. Dean wakes up soaked in sweat, shivering for other reasons. “I feel like ass,” he says, raw-voiced, and Bobby helps him up, takes him to the bath again. Enough water in the tank for a wash, and Dean strips down shakily, sinks down into the warm water with his bad leg propped over the rim. Bobby hands him soap, shampoo, lets him get on with it. Goes out into the main room and strips the sheets off the bed that smell like blood and feversweat, and then stands in front of the fire and tries to put the image out of his head. The things he could’ve done, and chose always not to.

Dean needs help, getting out. He struggles, splashing, trying not to ask--Bobby can hear him, from here. He goes to the doorway and finds Dean with his weak arms braced on the edge of the tub, his face miserable. “Your lungs not working, dumbass?” he says, but as kindly as he can, and Dean slumps back, defeated.

“Tired of this,” Dean says. He flicks his knee, above the line of the dressing that he’s managed to at least mostly keep out of the water. “Sorry, Bobby. Didn’t mean to--”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bobby says, and Dean ducks his head. Bobby finds the other towel, flaps it out. “What’s your daddy thinking, anyway. Sending you out like this.“

Dean shrugs, awkward. “Gotta get used to being on my own,” Dean says. “I mean, with Sammy--”

He bites it off, like the name wasn’t supposed to pass his lips. That amulet’s still right in place, the leather black from the water. Bobby doesn’t respond but only offers his hands, and for the second time they lever Dean up to his feet--naked, shining, shaky. He shivers, in the cooler air, and Bobby wraps the towel around his shoulders and helps him step over the lip of the tub, and he’s closet and wet and just--sad, all the parts of him sad, from his feet to the damp crown of his head. Too young--that’s always been Bobby’s thought, with Dean. Too young, for everything that happened, and too young to be hunting, and too young for the weight of lives on his shoulders, and too young for--

Dean leans in against his chest. Like he did in the snow, only this time he’s warm. Bobby wraps an arm around his back and Dean curls his hand in Bobby’s shirt, and ducks his head under Bobby’s chin. He shifts his weight and the towel slips, swinging down to Dean’s hip, and Deans hand slides down Bobby’s chest to his stomach. He takes a breath. “Dean,” he says. Question, warning.

The hand pauses, holding there. The tips of Dean’s ears have gone real pink. Bobby holds for a second, and then puts his hand on Dean’s jaw, and forces it up so Dean has to look at him--and he does, to his credit, even if his face is red and his mouth’s a pursed disappointment. “I just miss--” Dean says, and bites that off too. All these things he says and doesn’t say. Bobby wants to know what means and simultaneously never, ever wants to go there. Dean’s eyes cut down, his jaw stiff in Bobby’s hand. He snorts, after a second. Bitter. “Wanted to not feel like shit for a second, I guess.”

Petulant. Sometimes he really is a kid. Bobby squints down at him, wondering--if it’s worth it, to be a sop-up, a second-best. Ports in a storm. He drags his thumb over Dean’s chin, presses up to his bottom lip, and Dean looks up at him. Bobby kisses him. Brief, more a brush of their mouths, his beard on Dean’s softer skin. He pulls back to see the look in Dean’s eyes and it’s--not shock, not regret. He looks blown-open. Like acceptance was the last thing he expected.

Bobby thumbs over his lip again, heat rising in him that’s been so long packed-down. All the things he never dared to look in the eye. Well. Here’s a choice to make, again. Dean’s hand curls against his stomach and his lips part. Bobby smiles at him, pats his cheek, and hopes that he’s making the right one.

[motorcyclemuses]

Revamp finished

Hey guys, 

after a week or so, I finally finished the revamp. This is a list of things I’ve changed:

Switch the theme

Update about the mun 

Update the rules/guidelines

Update Wanted connections

Update the muses page

Add 2 new muses and take off the ones that weren’t working for me anymore

Updated the verses pages

Under the read more there’s a small summary of all the muses in alphabetical order 

Alex is a tattoo artist from Ohio that is also a member of Sons of Anarchy. He was born in Chicago and go adopted by Shannon Beiste, NCAA 5 time football champion coach of Ohio State University. His main verse is on season 4 of Sons of Anarchy, he went to Charming while Clay and the others were in Stockton, after finding his birth mother and finding out his father is Clay Morrow. Alex also knows Gemma is the main responsible for him to be given to adoption, and that she thinks he is dead. 

Alex has a Glee verse too, where he used to go on original glee club with Rachel, Quinn and the others. He is hockey coach, and currently at war with principal Schuester, due to Schuester cutting hockey funds in 70% to give to glee.

He also has a fandomless verse where he is open his first studio, while looking for his birth parents. He knows very little about them, mostly that his mother was a student of Ohio State and gave him to adoption directly to Shannon because she knew the woman would take care of him properly. He is a motorcycle club member called Sons of Anarchy, that has a tv show based on it, which the members of the club didn’t like it cause it portrait them as something they aren’t 

Personality: Alex is a easy going man, he is an artist it’s commonly to get him doing things like grafiti. It’s also expert in bombs and explosives, it’s how he wont the nickname bomber man. He is protective from the people he loves, which is something that might go out of hand sometimes, he is also know for being too naive and easy to manipulate. 

Alexis is a daughter of Poseidon with an amazon from the ancient Greece. For the sin of hubris, Zeus decided to punish her by sending her spirit to a different time, and separating her from her beloved, Helena. Alexis reincarnated in modern time, as a daughter of a mortal couple, with no memory of what had happened. When she was 12 years old and her demigoddess powers started to show up, Poseidon found a way to help Alexis to develop them another time. Now, Alexis is part time marine biologist part time private eye/hero to the gods and other demigods, doing all she can to fall in Olympus’ good graces again, so Hades tells her where Helena is, since she is aware that her partner reincarnated in modern times too.

She also have a fandomless verse, where she is a marine biologist from New York City. She is the daughter of greek immigrant couple, who went to america to start a new life. Alexis was a marine for a while, so the they could pay for her education. She is graduated in NYU and used to live with another girl until a couple of years ago, but since things didn’t went well due to a misunderstanding, that made Alexis panic and break things up. She currently works on UCLA’s research aquarium.

Personality: Alexis in general is a really rational person. She has the tendency of over analyze everything before acting. Many also describes her as cold, but she is really warm and fun to be with people who she feels comfortable. She is also very good on reading people, although Alexis tends to not like much being in presence of crowds.

CLOSED: Christen is in the sophomore year. She’s focused on returning to the USWNT U-21 team, and believes her best chance at that is to focus on practicing harder and harder, and making this her best season of so far. What Christen didn’t count on was that perhaps her crush on Stanford’s team, Kelley O'Hara, who is also her biggest rival for NCAA’S golden boot, is also interested in her.  

Personality: Christen is a hardworker. She does all she can to be always in the top of her game and be a good student. Her parents put a lot of pressure on her, and the girl puts a maximum effort to not disappoint them, which made her to develop anxiety issues that she tries to hide saying she is fine and avoiding talk about it. She is a bit aloof, mostly for thinking that she won’t ever be good for anyone. Hence that, she has lot of trouble to realize when people are flirting with her or just being nice.  

Logan is a Navy SEAL’s Sniper and MMA Fighter. She lost her mom when she was 13 years old, her brother used to take care of her but he lost her guard during one of their fights that it got a bit too loud. Social service took her to live with her father, a man that she didn’t even know that existed since then. She started to get in a lot of trouble until she met Roni, the owner of a pub called “The Queen of Hearts”. Logan joined the Navy SEALS, and became sniper. Recently, Logan came back home recently from a tour on Syria. She is doing small MMA events to help Roni to get the money to pay the pub’s debts.  

She has a Sons of Anarchy verse, where she went to Charming after being sent to live with her estranged father, Filip Telford. Logan turned into really good friends with Roni, the owner of “The Queen of Hearts”, a pub in the central area of Charming. Years later, Logan came back to Charming, due to receiving “The Queen” as inheritance from Roni, alongside with her clients as hitman. Everyone who wants to contract those services knows that they just need ask for “off menu beverages”.

Logan has a glee verse too where she is cousin of Sam Evans. When the Social Service took her away from her brother, they took her to live with the Evans in Lima. She joined the Glee as a drummer mostly because she hadn't nothing to do all day and Sam had to take care of her not running away to go after her brother. She ended up liking. Logan worked part time at Burt Hummel's lube shop and when Sam went back to Tennessee, she went to live with the Hummels, since Burt liked having her around.  

Personality: There are two different Logan, the one in the Navy that are centered, in control, that show no signs of emotions on the battlefield, and that knows exactly what to do. However when she is back home, Logan has a lot of trouble with dealing with people, mostly because she doesn’t know know how to act or what to do or say, she has a short temper and is prone to outbursts, tends to judges people harshly as a result. 

Yes, she inspired by Octavia Blake. It’s pretty much my version of what Octavia would be on modern days. If you want, we can roleplay that verse too. 

Lucas real name is Raleigh Cohen. He is photojornalist, but also a con man. His family, The Cohen, were really rich but really crappy, father and mother used to abuse him, his older brother did bully with him, so he never felt like he fit in with then. Eventually, Raleigh/Lucas ran away and stole a man in coma id’s so he could start again, free from reprimands. Lucas currently works as photojournalist for the New York Times. He enjoys what he accomplished. However, he is worried since finding out that the real Lucas Kane woke up after years in coma in Chicago, and he will do whatever it takes to keep his life.   

Lucas has a Sons of Anarchy’s verse, that Picks on beginning of Season 4. Lucas was arrested for stealing identity, but instead of going straight into prison, he gets recruited by ATF/FBI to become infiltrated agent in Sons of Anarchy due to his striking resemblance with Jackson Nathaniel Teller, VP of Sons of Anarchy and currently in coma after someone tried to kill him in Stockton. 

And Lucas has a glee verse too, He went to live in Lima while having 16, he created Lucas’s id so he could attend school. After being caught trying to spy on Cheerios’ locker room by Mr. Schuester, Lucas joined glee club on Season 1, becoming really annoyed and making his main target to sing as many offensive songs as possible, just mr. Schue has no other option but to expel him from the club. Eventually, Lucas starts enjoying being part of glee, cause it’s the only place he actually feels accepted for liking arts and photography.   

Personality: Lucas is really charming, he knows how to please people to get what he wants from them, he is confident and smart, also the time he lived on the street taught him that people will do whatever they can to survive. However, Lucas can be really loyal with people he cares about, even though sometimes its easier for him to just leave all behind. 

Max is the daughter of a muggle and Garrick Ollivander’s son. They used to live with their mother, but they got really closer of their Father’s family after finding out they were a wix. Sorted on Gryffindor, Max showed talent on quidditch, and made on the team in the fifth year. Currently, Max is an broommaker that lives in Hogsmead. They are working on several prototypes of brooms, thinking that they just need a little more luck to get the amount of money to develop their first series of brooms. However, they have to constantly deal with their muggle mother and family, wanting them to give up their dreams on wizard world and find a regular muggle job, it doesn’t matter if its what Max wants or not .

Max has a verse where they still attend on Hogwarts that works for golden trio era, marauders or next gen era. Max goes on Hogwarts. They are in their sixth year and playing on Gryffindor’s quidditch team as chaser. Max is starting experiment using the knowledge they have about woods and wandmaking to make their firebolt faster.

Personality: Maxine is imaginative; they were never a fan of just replicating things. Also a hard-worker, since Hogwarts, Maxine thinks they lost too much stuff from being raised in muggle world, so they compensated with studying harder than the others. They tries really hard to run from anything that can bring them trouble, especially with them mother and them family, and while they tends to bottle up all the them own opinions and feelings, it usually ends with them failing miserably and just attracting more problems than they expected. They also finds difficult to stand up for themself in front of authority figures, but once Maxine does it, they doesn’t back down. 

Riley is a pro soccer player from Canada. She is a bit of troublemaker in the field, but she is expected to be the best striker of the world. Right now she is playing for Arsenal LFC in England. She is a living a dream playing in the club she supported her whole life, however this season is different to her. It’s the first time she will be team captain. And her biggest enemy is herself. Riley is known as the most wild card player of the FA WSL, due to her recklessness and bad temper. There’s even a bet in the betting sites about how long it will takes until she gets a yellow, red or a longer suspension and also how many cards she will take during the season. Right now, her personal challenge is taming that bad temper and help her team to win the FA WSL championship and a spot on WUEFA Champions league. 

CLOSED:  After years of love and hate, Riley and Callisto Gordon got married (much to the marshall’s clan happiness). Due to a fight with John Herdman, while he was still coach of CANWNT, Riley decided to deflect and play for their rivals, USWNT. Although she isn’t a rookie, the striker feels that she has a lot to prove and makes her wonder if she has what it takes to be on the top National team in the world

Personality: Despite showing off academic average, Riley is very smart generally knows how to get out of social situations really well. She is someone very easy to read too, she can’t hide much what she is feeling for a long time, because the soccer player is extremely sincere and sometimes speaks even more than she should. She likes to enjoy life, which makes very easy to find her doing something outdoor, such as hiking, fishing or going out at night.Many also describes her as cocky, however this is her mechanism to hide her trust issues, caused mostly for her father only noticing her when she had something that could make them rich. 

As the new king of Asgard, Thor’s mission is to find a new place to his people to live and his destination is Earth. However, different from what the king expected, humans didn’t take very well their new refugies. Now Thor has to deal with humans being hostile to asgardians, while helping his people to adapt in this new planet.

Thor has a non-superhero verse where he is the first in the line of succession of Swedish throne. It’s expected him to take the throne when his father Odin VI simply can’t rule anymore. However, that’s not what Thor and half of the Swedes believes. He really thinks he is not ready for the job yet, it’s why he chose to live in America, far away from his home country, trying to learn and understand what it takes to be a good king. In USA, Thor try to help his friends and be supportive of their dreams, while he works on several jobs, since his clumsy ways always puts him on bad places.

Personality: Since Thor became King, he became more humble. He believed he was worthless which made any remains of arrogance that he had completely disappear, as can be seen with his interactions towards people have become more awkward and overly-excitable. He still remains utmostly confident and assured in his abilities as a warrior, The knowledge of how Asgard really rose to power further humbled Thor even more, as he was shocked and dismayed of his father's war seeking past. Although his love and respect for Odin remained as high as ever, he has come to accept that Odin's darker nature indirectly caused Ragnarok and openly admitted that Odin had flaws in his own right, even saying that Hela had a right to be angry with Odin. Though Thor has mostly unlocked the full magnitude of his powers since Asgard’s destruction and Hela’s defeat there still remains an awkwardness to his character, especially when compared to his previous personality. During his original coronation, he yelled uproariously towards his subjects in a victorious manner but when ascending to King of Asgard he only awkwardly waved to the Asgardians behind him.