#YES IVE ENDED UP RANTING IN THE TAGS TOO LEAVE ME ALONE

[deathclassic]

Fic Writers Interview

This is so late but thanks @mybrainismelted <3 im not really a fic writer but i dabble!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?  like,,,,ever? and just A03? okay the acc i use now has 41 but i have 2 other accounts that are abandoned and they both had fics so mayve it's closer to 70

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

just gonna work off my current one for this 70,782

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Uncle Mickey

Safety Net

The Adventures of Strike the Cat (Does this count? I didnt write it but im drawing for it and i can write for it if i want but it's a collab??)

Borrowed Clothes

Makeshift Bandages

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I am so bad at replying to comments, SO BAD but i do sometimes

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Leave Me Alone - if you've read it you know why

Outnumbered too

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

feel like most have a decent happy ending so not sure how to answer

7. Do you write crossovers?

ive been tempted and i have a basic outline for some

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes of course!! most of them i reckon, especially the angstier ones

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do but im not confident in my writing abilities for that

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

oh yeah, ages ago

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yeah

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yesss, the adventures of striker the cat with @ms-moonlight-inn

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

gallavich i guess

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

the one wear mickey finds comfort in his english teacher as a kid and she ends up being there for him at events throughtout his life

also canon divergent fic where instead of ian and mickey breaking up after ian was arrested in s5 (?), and he's ranting about going down to city hall like some queens, mickey is so desperate to keep Ian that he says yes let's go right now and ian is so shocked that they just go and get married right then and there

15. What are your writing strengths?

whump i guess

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

the writing part

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

if you speak it then i like it but im not fluent in other languages. ive done a sign language fic though.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

one direction

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

none at the moment

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written

outnumbered is definitley up there, but people dont like it bc it's not gallavich centric

extroadinary measures omg forgot about this one but i love it

not tagging anyone <3

[sege-h]

I’m watching a playthrough of Rise of Lyric for the first time Like I’d watched the cutscenes back when it came out but I haven’t watched a playthrough of it (I’m still on about what I started in 2019 aka watching a playthrough of every single Sonic game)

And...hough...

This got way lengthier than I expected so

The graphics are just kinda. No

Some of the voice acting feels like the actors were given 0 direction and like it was one in one take (A line of Tails going ‘Go buddy bot go’ completely unenthusiastically comes to mind first)

And it just feels like the devs think you;

-Have never played a video game in your life

-Will not learn how to play a video game in the process of playing this one either

Like...you’ll run into the same ‘puzzle’ several times and the characters will explain how to do it as if its the first time

They’ll tell you where to use a mechanic like buddy bot Every Time like Thanks but I think that after one time the played will remember ‘hey this yellow as hell spot is where the robot goes’

Same with the ziplines like they go “HEY A ZIPLINE LETS USE IT” EVERY TIME even though those are like The Gimmick that was brought in with the enerbeams for this game

And like name a game where there’s redhot lasers headed for you where it meant a good thing?

Even as a kid when youre playing some of your first video games, you dont even need anything to tell you that you need to avoid lasers you just DO because its the obvious thing to do

But this game does not trust you with that either. Its not even the first time the player encounters these, and Tails pipes up like ‘WATCH OUT FOR THOSE LASERS SONIC’ and then Sonic might as well insult the player by outright slowly going ‘Right, avoid lasers, got it. Lasers bad’

And the talking. My god. The talking. They Never Shut Up.

Like ok I’d heard people complain about that. But it seemed like one of those things I wouldn’t mind? My first 3D Sonic was Sonic Heroes, where the characters chatter among themselves or comment on their environment- I didn’t mind it there.

But here? Its just. Constant. Constant talking, constant re-explaining of what to do or what theyre already doing (Bounce pads anyone?)

And on that same note- it really feels like just ‘PLEASE game just SHOW and stop TELLING me’

Like the characters will go ‘wow we’re going so fast!’ and theyre really...not...Sonic’s running on water and it feels like the slowest water run the series has ever seen (probably is)

No zipping around obstacles you just. Go around

At one point Tails goes ‘nice design!’ at the enemies and I know its PROBABLY meant as an in universe comment of him as the tech kid liking the technology and the way its designed. But outside of that it feels like just

Where is it, Tails. Show me the nice design, I wanna see it. All I see is mike wazowski worms

And the music...like jfc what a crime for a Sonic game to have bland af music. It all feels like royalty free orchestral music. It doesn’t really fit the feel of the areas or what the characters are doing. With any other Sonic music I can tell what game and what stage theyre from. With this one- i can tell what the game is because its the only bland music. But what areas or cutscenes tracks are from? Nope

Sonic Boom is just. Its The disappointment for me when it comes to these games. I am easily pleased. I like Forces- I didn’t expect anything huge from it and I just expected to make my OC in it- and that’s what the game gave me.

I didn’t expect much from Boom either? I didn’t mind the redesigns- like it’s all an AU with no impact on the ‘main verse’ anyway, it always was, so I didn’t freak out over them like a lot of people

But it did seem like itd be just a bit bigger, and that’s just not what we got.

Remember people being excited over Sticks? She isn’t even IN Rise of Lyric

Remember freakin PERCI??? People were so excited over her!! And then she....was an absolute nobody. She’s basically just a bg character in the show, and in the game she’s just some npc that gives you like one quest I think? And thats it. And like...what a waste. Like ok maybe I’m a bit biased and want more purple characters in the franchise AND more girls but still

I remember we thought we’d get a bit of lore for what this new universe is like because of the statues and stuff. There was none of that, you’re just kinda thrown into it

Shadow is thrown into it too? Like you know he’s just there because he’s popular. But like...it’s a new universe and we have NO IDEA what his deal is

Is he still an artificially created being? Or is he just some random edgelord hedgehog? (Yes, yes he is as far as I can tell)

Like he pops in to be like ‘hey Shadow is here’

And later he pops up again and is like “SONIC YOU’RE WEAK BECAUSE YOU HAVE FRIENDS” and its like

????????????????? hello??????????

I don’t even know if it’s ever explained what his deal was because I haven’t actually gotten to the part of the show where he shows up

Like I wanna guess that they expected you to watch the show to understand wtf his deal is??? But I have a feeling it isn’t???

Plus the game came out before the show and definitely before any episodes with Shadow rolled around so its just like

What the FUCK is happening???

Anyway I’m barely two hours into this game and there’s 7 left please help me

[wizkiddx]

without making this a sap story ive had some not so great news from home and am in one of them moods to not talk abt it. but i need a tom h to hug me , pls could u write something like that?

hey anon - i am sending u all my love, and hope things get a little easier for u as soon as possible. if u ever do wanna chat abt nothing or rant just send me a pm x  I hope this is at least somewhat what u were looking for <33

summary: life is sometimes not good, but your fave boy makes it just a little easier to deal with (with some original help from his brother too)

a bit angsty but i promise mainly fluff (and a popcorn fight?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What drew you out of the sort-of-trance was a two soft but firm knocks at the door - well Tom’s bedroom door. You’d been relaxing with him and Harry, watching the new ‘Line of Duty’ when your mum had called for the daily catch up. Admittedly, she had already tried to call you twice today but somehow you’d managed to miss both of them. On reflection, possible not that shocking because you’d been at a charity golf day with the boys which involved a fair amount of noise, chat and competition. 

Thankfully the boys had both done pretty well, Tom coming slightly ahead but that was the norm between the two. It meant they were both happily basking in their relative victories and not moody and grumpy like they are oh so often when things go wrong. Because to them, against your pleading, begging and sometimes lecturing…. golf was not just a game.  

You and your mum had always been very close, so usually speaking to her was uplifting and made you feel a little bit more complete - what with travelling with Tom for work, her voice was a slice of home. This time though, it was not so much the case. It was just sad news about your home town. Nothing directly to your family or close friends but still, it makes you feel generally down. 

Who knows how long it’d been since you’d hung up on the phone, just staring at the wall opposite. Everything felt just hollow and empty, lacking in meaning somewhat. You weren’t necessarily thinking, more like devoid of emotion, of thoughts, of anything. Just a bit cold. 

“Y/n…Y/n?” His voice sounded hesitant, as though scared he was interrupting your call. When you didn’t respond, the door cracked open and his fluffy head poked in, not that you noticed - your brain was still half absent. Tom on the other hand, was instantly looking you up and down, very much confused as the why you looked so rigid and not present. Noticing the phone was lying quiet on the bed in front of you, he felt safe to enter. He made a beeline for the bed, perching himself down on the edge, in-front of you - so he was blocking your fascinating view of the grey wall opposite. 

“What’s going on in that little head of yours?” His voice was soft and gravely, choosing not to put much energy into his vocal box as he rubbed up and down one of your arms. 

“Hmmm? Sorry, was miles away.”

“Could tell darl.” As he chuckled his eyes crinkled round the outside. “How was your mum?”

“Yeh…um okay, I-I guess.” As much as you wanted to shake yourself out of it, it just wasn’t that easy. Everything was laced with this underlying chilliness. 

“You sure? You dont really sound it?” 

“No, I um…well I’m not sure. I think I’m okay?”

“What happened?” You shook your head in response, making Tom press his lips together with a small nod. “ Don’t wanna talk about it huh?” 

“Not… not right now. Please?” 

With a permitting nod, Tom stood up and squeezed your hand, urging you to follow. Trailing behind him into the living room, he then instructed you to take a seat on the sofa adjacent to Harry, Tom himself disappearing back into the house. It made you pout a little, you wanted him to just look after you a little this evening but that self pity wasn’t allowed to last long - because a piece of popcorn flew into your cheek. You whipped your head around, with mouth open feigning shock, to see Harry smirking at you cradling a bowl full of other possible missiles in hand. 

“And what was that for?” He shrugged his shoulders, turning his head back to the TV.

“You looked sad.”

“…” Your mouth was open, no words coming out though, as you looked at the frizzy haired boy in bemusement. Sometimes you thought you understood how his head worked but at other points, the boy was a bloody mystery. Instead of explaining his thought process (because there almost certainly wasn’t one), he just smiled evily at you - wiggling his brows. And I know you know what that meant.

Sure enough by the time Tom reentered the room, arms full with different objects he’d collected round the house, the floor had been littered with popcorn kernels. You and Harry were squealing at each other as handfuls of the snack were catapulted vaguely at each other as you chased him round the room. It took Tom shouting at the both of you for you to freeze, slowly lowering your hands in ceasefire with a giggle. 

“I leave you alone for two minutes.”

“ It was his fault!” You protested, causing a 5 minute of ‘ he said-she said’ between the two of you, even if Tom wasn’t listening to the bickering. Instead, he quickly whizzed round the room picking up all the obvious popcorn bits and then spread out all the blankets he’d got from round the rented house on the sofa.

 You knew Harry, in his very own and special way, was only doing all this to cheer you up and you couldn’t appreciate it more. Your relationship with him had recently got so much closer, thanks to Tom being busy on set actually filming - while you and Harry just had some quality ‘almost sibling’ times. And now living with him too - naturally he had grown to know your tells almost as well as Tom. 

“Alright children calm down… thought we could watch movie?” Plopping himself down on the cream seat, Tom made grabby hands to you which of course you had to comply with. 

“I’ll um… I’m gonna leave you to- well to the being in love shit. It’ll make me chunder”

“We love you too bro” Tom called to Harry, who was already on his way out - but the tone of gratefulness in his voice was evident, he appreciated Harry noticing that the two of you could do with time together. 

“Don’t make it weird!” Harry’s response had you sniggering, as you pulled the fluffiest blanket over both you and Tom and nestling into his side. 

After a few minutes of Tom pretending to argue with you about film choice, before ultimately agreeing with your choice of ‘La la land’ as he always planned on letting you. The Holland boys were both very talented at subtly being a shoulder if needed, and yes you knew it was all an act - but you weren’t about to call him out. About halfway through he kissed the crown of your head and murmured. “Can tell you’re not watching darling.” He wasn’t wrong to be fair. Yes, you were looking at the screen - but your mind was far away from the plot line. 

“Sorry I um… minds like a runaway train sometimes.” Tom released a breathy chuckle at that before murmuring a ‘come ‘ere’ to you as he all but lifted you up from sitting by his side. You ended up lying almost onto of him, with both of Tom’s strong arms holding you tightly to him. Smiling into his chest, you nestled closer so the soundtrack to the movie played over the top of his constant thudding heartbeat. It took a few moments of you both just staring into the screen, completely contented for Tom to speak, squeezing you slightly tighter whilst the two of you watched Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone twirling on the road.

“I gotchu now lovie” 

And you swore then that all the thoughts racing in your mind were outpaced by those of a different kind. Still intense ideas, ones that buzzed round your brain, but these were happy. Thoughts of ‘how could I be so lucky’ and ‘I love this man with my whole heart’. 

Apparently these thoughts were also a comfort because when Tom looked down at you after what must’ve been at least half an hour, you were spark out. Breathing deep and unchanging, eye locked shut and mouth slightly squashed against his chest so your lips were pressed together. But what made the boy physical pout was the way you relaxed hand was loosely balled round a fistful of his purple hoodie. As if you were clutching at him to keep him as close to you as possible. 

He felt so grateful - not only for you, but also for the fact that he had the ability to make it a little better. You didn’t need him - Tom swore you were one of the most fiercely independent people he’d ever met - yet it was clear you wanted him. You wanted him when you felt down, the same way you wanted to be around him when you were overly hyper and chatting pure rubbish. You didn’t want him because he was the ‘Tom Holland’ you wanted him because he was Tom. 

He couldn’t fix what was going on back at your home (I mean right now, he still didnt even know what was going on). But he did know how to make everything just a little less shit. He knew how to be your person. 

And that would forever be job Tom was most proud of.

once again sending u all lots of love (esp u anon 💕)

would love to know what u guys think if ya made it this far ;)

tagging (link to join) : @hallecarey1 @hollandfanficlove

[justanothergrl]

Don’t let me down: continued

I didn’t pack my coat.  It was about a 20 minute drive to the hospital from my Dads. It’s strange but I was feeling okay on my way there. It was as if I was holding my breath the entire way there and only let it out once we put the car in park. As we made our way to the check-in desk of the ER I felt all the blood rush out of my face. How am I going to tell a complete stranger? “Hi, my name is Sara and I’m withdrawing from opiates, please help!” I can’t say that. I should just turn around. I should just leave. I wanted to turn & run but my feet stayed planted. I stared at the floor. Stop Sara. You need help. You’ve made it this far. You can do this. You aren’t alone. I think my Dad spoke first. It’s a bit fuzzy but I don’t remember answering more than 1 or 2 questions before they put me into a wheel chair. That lady was so nice. She didn’t look at me in disgust as I had imagined. She didn’t turn me away. They led us to a room immediately. (I’m pretty sure this mainly had something to do with the fact that I was complaining of chest pain, but hey it worked in my favor.) The room was small and only blocked off by a curtain that didn’t even reach the ground. It was cold. My dad sat in a chair. I sat on the bed and stared down at my boots. I brought my boots but no coat? I didn’t want to look up. I couldn’t face the thought of looking my Dad in the eyes. Not yet. A male nurse about my age came in, sat down across from me, and started asking questions. “When was the last time you used?” 5am. “Did you ever share needles?” No. “How are you feeling?” Not good, I’ve been through the beginning of this before, I know it’s only going to get worse. I was trying to remain level-headed. He was nice. He wasn’t treating me bad either. He was patient. He seemed genuinely concerned. I stared at my boots as I answered question after question. I stared at his name tag. I stared at the wall. I looked anywhere that didn’t involve eye contact. I was too ashamed. An older female nurse came in and did an ECG (electrocardiogram).  I was laying on the table half naked as she placed the electrodes all over me. She was so nice. I couldn’t look at her either. I stared at the ceiling. At the wall. Why was everyone being so nice? I looked down and for the first time I noticed that I could clearly see my ribs. Oops, I guess I really had been losing weight. That’s not good. I closed my eyes. It’s cold. After that was over & it was determined that I was in no immediate danger, they put us into a real room further down the hall. "Here, change into this.”  They handed me a gown. (You know, one of those paper thin, scratchy, one- size- fits- all hospital gowns. Whichhh- can I just take a moment to say- f those! I might as well be naked. They don’t stay closed. They don’t stay up. Just wrap me in a sheet & call it a day. End rant.) I changed and climbed into the bed. The blanket was as thin as paper. I finally managed to look over at my Dad. He didn’t look angry. He didn’t look disgusted. He just looked concerned. I wasn’t alone. I asked my Dad to text my boss that I wouldn’t be starting my new job the next day. I know we talked more, but I can’t remember. The doctor came in. She was so nice. My heart sank as she explained that there was nothing they could do for me. (The doctor has to be licensed in order to give a patient suboxone or other such medications. They are few & far between FYI.) They hooked me up to an IV. They looked down at my left wrist. I noticed the scratches. They noticed the scratches. Oh, yeah. That left marks, really? Oops. “Are you having any suicidal thoughts?” I shook my head “no.” They hesitantly continued. (IF I would’ve hinted at anything suicidal, IF I would’ve answered yes, or IF my Dad would’ve answered yes- I would’ve been forced to stay. They take that VERY seriously, which I didn’t realize up until this point. Good job whoever put those rules in place!) She gave me nausea medication. She gave me anxiety medication. I laid down. I wasn’t alone. I was okay. This isn’t too bad. I was going to be okay. I tried to relax. I tried to process the idea that I was about to dive head first into hell with no end in sight. How long would this last? Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought. Wait.. I won’t be getting any help. There’s nothing they can do. I’m actually going to have to go through this? I don’t think I can do this. This was a mistake. I can’t do this. Panic. I couldn’t regulate my temperature. I was hot and cold and back to hot again. My chest squeezed tighter. I felt like I was dying. I couldn’t lay still. I wanted out of my body. I can’t do this. Pull the blanket up. Push it off. This blanket feels like sandpaper against my skin. Lay flat on my back. Switch to my side. Omg, I’m dying. There’s no way I can do this. Please God let this stop. I was in such agony that my Dad got a nurse and they called for the doctor again. (My Dad later told me I was thrashing around so much he thought I was going to rip my IVs straight out of my arm, I don’t remember that though.) She gave me more anxiety medicine and made them take me for chest x--rays. Just to make sure they didn’t miss anything. Just to make sure I wasn’t ACTUALLY dying. (You’re (usually) not risking death from withdrawal of opiates. Everyone's different and if you have seizures, well then yes it can bad. But for the most part, it’s just a reallll awful experience, especially without any assistance.) X-rays were fine. The doctor told my Dad that if I was still really bad tomorrow to bring me back because she would be on shift. [5 hours in the hospital = $3,000.] I was so delirious from the anxiety medication (thank you to that doctor, though) that I don’t remember coming back from the x-rays. I don’t remember getting dressed. I don’t remember walking out of the hospital. I don’t remember getting into my Dads car, the drive home, or going into the house. I am forever grateful that everyone was so nice, especially after everything I have heard AND read. (thank you universe for letting me catch a small break, even when I didn’t deserve it) Looking back I’m happy I detoxed in the comfort of my Dads house opposed to a hospital or other facility. The first (3?) nights were torture. Especially the first. I tossed and turned SO much in my sleep that I got really bad rug rash on both of my knees (who knew that was possible?). I remember I kept waking up my Dad. I didn’t want to be alone. I couldn’t stay asleep. It was agonizing. On (I believe) the second day I begged my Dad that we needed to find a doctor that could get me suboxone. Anything to help. I didn’t have insurance.. or money. I knew it wasn’t an option but I was so desperate to not feel like I was inches from death that I was trying to grasp at anything. I remember sitting on the floor asking him to just kill me at one point. I couldn’t go on any longer. Anyone who has detoxed, especially without the help of medications, knows this feeling. For those of you that don’t, there’s no way to TRULY explain it. If there was nothing else as a motivation to keep myself clean, it’d be that. I will NEVER go through that again. I’ve heard it explained as the flu x10.. everyone experiences different symptoms. I was nauseous, but didn’t throw up (probably with the help of the medication the doctor had prescribed). I was hot & cold & hot & cold. The pressure on my chest. The restlessness, ohhh the restlessness. I. Could. Not. Stop. Moving. I couldn’t ever get comfortable. Runny nose. And finally- just weak. I was so weak for at least a month after.. I felt as though I was a heart patient. I couldn’t even get up the strength to blow dry my hair or even put on just mascara for I don’t know how long. I remember walking around Kohl's once with my Dad, just to get out of the house for a bit and I had to tell him we needed to leave so I could sit. As for getting my temperature back to normal.. it took a good couple months to finally feel warm again (but it has never got back to all the way normal again). The only time during those months that I wasn’t freezing to death was when I was in the shower. This is why I said earlier on that if I had any idea of what was about to come when I left MI.. I may of hesitated. But hey, I did this all on my own and not many people can say that- sooo I’m pretty proud. It wasn’t easy but at least I wasn’t alone.

**Thanks Dad, I couldn’t of did this without you. Thank you for staying by my side. Thank you for being patient and not angry. Thank you for not looking at me any differently. Thank you for being there. Thank you for allowing me to breath once again, knowing that I was not all alone.**

Sooo now that we’re through the worst of it, we’re about to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!  Thanks for still listening, however recovery is a BIG deal. A very common misconception is that “now that you’re not using you’re good!” False. It is an ongoing battle. Yes it gets easier over time, but all it takes is once. O N E time to undo all of the work you put into getting and staying clean. O N E time and that could be your last day. Did you know that most overdoses happen with those that have got some clean time under their belts? So don’t bail just yet, I’ve got some more stuff to say & you’re going to want to hear this.

What did I do next?  The pros & cons of NA- for ME. The emotional roller-coaster I had no idea I was boarding, with “J”

Enjoy this snow!