#YEAHH IT HAS A TAG!! you go buddy

[thewandererh]

Exhibit A: Procrastination, Gratification, and Initiative

and what it means regarding dopamining, and living life to the fullest.

i am not a professional! this is my interpretation of feelings i (and most likely many others) have experienced.

the meaning in life

is defined by what you do

and how you move through

- me. just now ✌️☺️🤳📸

think of a time you had things to do. everyone has a time like that. in that time, you know you have things to do—but you’re distracted by something. perhaps by doomscrolling, or planning something with friends to avoid homework, or needing to tell someone something vital. they are hard situations…but why?

your body evaluates that you’d feel better once you’ve completed the goal you have to do. whether it be by going outside, finishing that assignment, or talking to that someone. however, doing it would have you leave the established comfort you’re enveloped in now. you don’t want to change your situation because you’re comfortable, so you continue to recline. maybe you try to ignore the thought by busying yourself further, but it never works.

you are now conscious that you are wasting your time. everything becomes stressful. just one more video. just one more game. just one more minute. you’ve connected with your body, listened to its needs, but put them off. declining the offer for the sake of reclining with just one more video, game, or minute. the constant dopamine surge of your comfortable situation makes it hard to leave, and you try to reinforce that. you know you’ll be happier with the task done, but you try to make up for that ‘lost gratification’ in your current situation. you could be happier, but you don’t want to make a change that would alter your situation. so you bury yourself deeper with meaningless work all to try and find meaning.

this is procrastination.

it’s a spiral of meaningless longevity that can last for hours. and once one is conscious of it, it turns your moments of forced dopamine into a bad time filled with only regret and misery.

“you could be doing something more fulfulling.” says your body. your body knows your needs better than you do sometimes, so why not listen to it?

we humans fear change. we humans like when we know where we are in life, and knowing that it’s comfortable. knowing that it’s safe. who knows what could happen while you do that task? you’ll have to sit up, actually move again, and paramountly, actually stress about something. you’ve have to use energy you don’t think you have, or could reserve for something else. you can watch or play some more with that energy instead, so why not?

change has to happen. especially when it’s for the better.

your body is telling the truth when it says you’ll be happier after you finish that task.

while you try to finish that task, you’ll be doing something different. this is understandably scary! but you’re listening to yourself instead of suppressing your wishes and bottling your feelings.

this time-wasting activity you’re so caught up in is so addictive because it involves instant dopamine. your brain wants more, so you keep giving energy into an activity that, as a bonus, helps you forget the world and your problems alongside it.

the task you need to do is a transitional period to dopamine. it’s an effortful wait that feels unbearable at first glance because you’re so enveloped in the dopamine-generating-machine (dopamining??). but this dopamine is so much more fulfilling that anything you can gather while scrounging deeper into that activity you’re desperate to keep going.

this is gratification.

gratification comes as personal celebration after you’ve completed something. it comes with the dopamine generation, yes, but it’s so much powerful when you’ve worked for it (so it’ll be used as a term in that work-for-it sense). gratification is your body being relieved of pressure and burden because of the effort you’ve put in to better your situation. you feel safer now, less anxious, and more free. you have one less to-do on your list, and that deserves to be celebrated. more will always come, but why not stop for a moment?

this task has stressed you out to the point of desperately avoiding it with meaningless activities. but it’s done now. it’s completed, and it’s all thanks to you. the effort you put into this task could have been any level of difficult, but you did it. whether the task be big or small, you did it. if you had to do it in parts, that’s ok. taking a break between work lets you refocus your thoughts and reflect on what you’ve done, which also summons gratification. you’re working! you’re in the zone! maybe the confetti can wait until after it’s completley done, but you deserve a snack and a brain break (or so).

you feel so great doing something so much better for your stress levels. you’re living life fuller than you did before. before you were suffering by your own hand…but why?

it didn’t have to be like this.

procrastination is caused by being rewarded for not getting things done. dopamining at it’s peak. it’s self-induced, because only you control it. and you have the capacity for changing your situation. here’s how:

this is initiative.

taking initiative is being proactive about your situation. you take opportunities as they come to better your situation; you notice when you’re uncomfortable, reflect, and make a change. sometimes keeping in touch with your body is hard because of the face-paced nature of dopamining and procrastination, but your body will never stop reaching out. this is why when you take a break, you realize how hungry or etc you are. take a moment after a video, game match, or something of the like finishes. breathe. take a moment to remember and reevaluate yourself. how long has it been? what do you need to get done? why would you rather avoid it? and even, how can you make it easier?

taking initiative is listening to yourself when you start to feel uncomfortable. track the feeling, and understand where it’s coming from instead of pushing it away. assess your situation. what is easy, and what would make you happier? think twice—dopamining is a habit that’s hard to break.

taking initiative is taking a deep breath, getting up, and looking at your task. examining the difficulty and breaking it up into parts if necessary. maybe you need music/ambience if it’s monotonous, but try not to make that too distracting. get a snack and water (etc) if you feel fatigued or discomforted. examine the big picture in steps, and reward yourself when you’re finished.

breaking out of a dopamining session means a lot. you remember your body and ergo what you need. it might take some time to develop the habit of checking in on yourself, but it is possible. you are not lazy. you are not a time-waster. you can live life to the fullest when you chase the proper gratification.

when you break out of dopamining, even just a session of it, potential opens up. even before you finish your task, you recognize what you can do. you could go on a walk, draw, write, read, organize, explore some music, do some more chores if you’re in the zone, and so much more. and then when you finish that task that feels so daunting, the gratification feels earned. it feels different. it feels personal. you just did something that mattered more. and steps like that build persistence, self-awareness, and proactivity. steps like that make life fuller.

_…-~^*^~-…_ _…-~^*^~-…_ _…-~^*^~-…_

helpful articles that make points i don’t + stand strong at the possibility i make a mistake in this post!

[cameragore]

What is rotting rabbits…

hello nonnie ...ERM!!!!! I'm assuming yr someone who I reblogged with my blorbos sso I apologize for the autism I'm about 2 spew at you. and I hope that this iss something u think is cool ❤️.... Ok. so first u need to know everymanhybrid which is a cool slenderverse series and I think if you like horror or general cool films go watch emh explained by night mind. Ok.

rotting rabbits - the pairing name for EVERY omen & habit pairing, IT IS ALSO the singular name for rr!omen and rr!habit also known as the canon emh roleplay. omen is my self insert oc for emh because I'm a system and my bff is a habit fixtive and so I do what I do w everything I like (roleeplay w it)...... every rotting rabbits is habit and omen HOWEVER. rr!omen and rr!habit aren't anything else, it's a square is a rectangle but not every rectangle is a square. habit in every rp has rabbit motifs and omen has dog ones . This is also the reason for most of the pairing names .... rotting rabbits is also our big special interest currently. everyy rotting rabbits in every form is some sort of yuri... Btw

THERE'S ACTUALLY!!! multiple omens annd mutliple habits and their own aus, all of these r roleplays and if u look at my pinned most of my posts r tagged in some way. ( 📷 - rotting rabbits / emh au omen . 🔦 - haunted hares / ghost hunter au . 📹 - cursed canines / swap au !! hollowed hybrids omen still doesn't have a erm emoji but that's. Pretty ok)

haunted hares - the ghost hunter + ghost au!!! omen is a famous ghost hunter who takes fame and ego in return for feeding habit who is a whole ass house people!!!! yep!!!! habit is literally aa house that's starved for human flesh and hes managed to live on through folktales of the house on the hill that he lives in / lives as . omen is a ghost hunter that """gets rid of habit""" and is made. Extremelyyyy famous for it ,,, this ends really dependent but they're buddy buddy . surprisingly the most normal feeling au of every one of these.

cursed canines - swap au it's. A dog based one bc omens taking the place of habit I felt extremely smart when thinking of this and honestly it is onee of my prouder moments. this is also our current system wide hyperfixtion lol ..... it was originally made out of spite because people were arguing about shipping habit being proship and I was annoyed with it so I made OMEEN worse than habit and me and my bff play with them like barbie dolls. omen kills people on stream, her and habit mutually stalk each other, omen actually kidnaps him.......... YEAHH. this is mentally ill and it's very awesome and it's what most of my posting has been recently

hollow hybrids - our animal HYRBID au!!!!! habit is a parasitic bug that crawls over and infects the hosts body + only goal is to create a hivemind, Evan and tehcinlally habit by default are a spider . Omen is a English lop, who is extremely paranoid and is forced to help habit after habit took over her house LOL!!! this is da newest one and so I don't got a lot to say with it, but I really like it.

erm.... For asking about it even if it wasn't in an "infodump pls" ask and more like "what da fuck are u saying" ask...... have some doodles of the guys.

in order... cursed canines omen, haunted hares one and two, and a hollow hybrids omen. my pfp has rotting rabbits omen.

tl;Dr ; rotting rabbits is my everymanhybrid self ship pairing with roleplays that I do with my best friend .

[watermelonbird]

A fanfic of Quackity learning how to care for his employees, starting with a slime

I sent an ask about this and you wanted to tagged so @dreamsclock here this is!

Charlie is a weird dude Quackity has to admit. His decision to recruit him seemed smarter at the beginning. Learning about the slime makes him more hesitant to include him in anything. But right now he’s acting odder than usual.

¨I am a normal human and since you are also a normal dude, can I ask you a question, person to person?¨ Charlie asked, pushing into Quackitys office.

¨Fine, keep it quick¨

¨Well, my head hurts? And I am kinda achy? And I feel super warm? And-

¨Charlie! That is all just normal human stuff, that if you were a human, you would know, and since you definitely are a human, these things must be normal to you!¨

¨Us humans are some strange creatures, aren't we? Charlie says with an attempted smile on his face.

¨Mhm yeah, just get out of my office.

Charlie did not realize being a human would be this difficult with all the pains and gross feelings people have to go through. He just wishes he could go back into a nice damp hole.

Quackity called a meeting of some of the members of Las Nevadas.

¨I need some dirt on Karl and Sapnap because they have a riviling country or territory or whatever type of paradise that Kiniko Kingdom is. And that can be dangerous to my whole operation!¨

¨I think, and this might be a dumb guess but perhaps its a Kingdom? Just an idea¨ Purpled muttered.

¨I don't need any of your fucking sass.¨ Quackity rubbed a hand over his face, carefully missing his scar, ¨this is why you dont work with teenagers, they all fucking suck. You and Tubbo and Tommy and even that Ranboo kid was an annoying pushover!¨

¨Dude, it's obvious that the only reason you want to spy on those two is because you miss dating them! It's fine. Love fails, you gotta move on¨ Foolish sighed

¨Where Charlie? I want a nice person who respects me!¨

¨I respect you Quackity and while I do not know what Kiniko Kingdom is since I have kinda been in isolation for a while, I would not mind checking it out!¨

¨Course Fundy, you're such a good pal but I want you to lay back and relax, you don't have to worry about what's happening at all.

¨Cool, yeah yeah I understand¨

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quackity walks over to Charlie's room which was right next to his.

¨Slimecicle, what's been up with you? I'm a very busy man and I can't afford for my spy to get lazy, you understand me?

¨Ah, well I heard that when humans get sad or feel bad we just lay down so¨

¨We don't have time for this Charlie! We dont have time for your stupid crisis! I need you to suck it up because that's what humans do!

Quackity grabs one of the slime man's arms and immediately regrets it looking at the slime residue that rubbed off on him. He pulls up Charlie and fixes his shirt.

¨Besides we’re friends and it really sucks that I am working my ass off and you are just lazing around because of a little emotion. Nothing like that has ever held me down!¨

Charlie yawns, ¨You make a good point Quackity of Las Nevadas.¨

¨Of course I do, and I´m so excited to see the info you catch of the residents of Kiniko Kingdom, you can do that right?¨

¨Sure! I got you, friend!¨

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charlie knew he wasn't being the best friend to Quackity but he was not feeling as good and goopy as usual.

But this was his first official spy job and he was gonna do a great job and extra show that he does not need to be killed! Quackity gave him slight directions but seemed strained talking about this place. Charlie wondered if it had anything to do with the drama of their recent relationship and if they were still together or not. But he's sure that this spy job is for purely professional reasons and totally not a pathetic attempt to see if his exes miss him!

Charlie went along the path he was told but he saw a small damp looking hole and decided to jump in. He had really missed this environment. The Casino was always really warm and Charlie wanted to ask Quackity to lower it but the one time he did, the duck hybrid got teary and muttered that if his fiance was here, the heating system wouldn't be necessary.

Slimicicle had felt lightheaded the past few days and he figured a nap would be the perfect way to rejuvenate. Not thinking about his mission or when he was expected back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quackity was kinda freaking out, It had been hours after when Charlie agreed to come back, he knew he was a bit absentminded but he should have realized when it got dark it was time to come back. He knew that his fiances were jerks who abandoned him but would they attack or even worse kill an innocent slime? He knew he should have done a simpler first mission, he just wanted to hear any news on his fiances and figured this would be a smart way to get info.

Quackity sighed, ¨Hey Purpled, I'll have to rescue Charlie, fucker managed to mess up even the simplest of tasks¨

¨It's obvious you care for him, don't put up that bs with me, I really don't care about you enough¨

¨I don't! And as your boss, you don't get to use that voice with me¨

¨Okay bossman¨, Purpled mocked

Quackity ran out of Las Nevadas and into the forest. He briefly wondered if this was running just to find the corpse of the slime. Or would there be tiny broken Charlies? He shook his head, not wanting to focus on grim things like that.

¨Charlie? It's me! Quackity from Las Nevadas! Your friend! Charl-

He got cut off by falling into a crevice.

¨Oh my god, this is just the type of hole he would have liked¨ Quackity sniffled

¨Oooh can I meet this He you´re talking about? Because I also really like this hole!¨ Charlie exclaimed

Quackity reached out, putting his hands on Charlie's slimy cheeks

¨You're okay? I was so worried!

¨I just sat down in this hole and fell asleep

¨Well I am glad that you learned how to sleep I guess? But man, your face is really warm right now¨

Charlie leaned his head further into Quackitys hands, ¨Mmhhm¨

¨Are you- are you sick?¨

¨Doesn't that mean cool cause if so yeahh¨

¨No buddy, that's not what that means, it means you don't feel well

¨But you said to suck it up if I don't feel well? And you neverr take care of yourself?

¨Well, uh, exceptions can be made of course, if you're feeling bad enough! Which I never am! I sometimes may feel a little down however Its an easy fix that for me, working more totally helps with!

But I guess for you, you'll need someone to take care of you? Is that true? Quackity sighed, already knowing he would regret this but whenever he was sick he just imagined his fiance's caring for him again and he thinks maybe, maybe he should help Charlie

¨Ugh come up and out of the hole, let's go home.¨

¨Well Quackity of Las Nevadas while I would love to go back, this hole is comfy and damp and the environment I should be in. Las Nevadas is great, however it is hot, and I always feel like I am melting in the housing units .

¨Oh, how about I fix your bedroom up? Make it chiller and more¨, Quackity gags ¨damp¨

¨Really? You'd do that? Thank you, friend!

He hops forward and does a partial hug with Quackity, not having the strength to fully embrace him.

Quackity picks the slime up in a bridal style carry with Charlie being in awe.

¨Wow, you're really strong

¨Yeah buddy, and I'll fix you up and you'll be perfectly fine. Uh, just for work reasons, I totally don't care for you.

¨Quackity from Las Nevadas, I think you're being sarcastic and I love you¨

“... I love you too”

[leemarkies]

oh and i’m so sorry sodkdfkdnnx that ask was embarrassingly long and this one might be too hehe but! how are you? i’m doing well besides the fact that i have literally nothing to do since i can’t draw, don’t have college to go to for now and can’t gif and i’m done with almost all my chores by like 11 right before noon and there’s only so much time i can pass by through watching interior designing vids + i finished the one kdrama that had piqued my interest 💔 though today was less agonising with its never-ending-length since my sisters and i went on a little trip around the city with our father! it was for like 1.5 hours in the night but still fun yet i’ve never been more embarrassed playing kpop songs in the car 🥲 somi’s what you waiting for came on and the part where she says drunk & wasted & all the lines about love made us bow our heads in shame and cackle because my grandpa made jokes about it when he heard it once too! we started with astronaut & ended with an ost oh and my father’s friend recced him an indian song— i guess it was by some singh guy (sorry for it’s all i remember when it comes to the name) and the title had raat in it; the beat was good! it was kinda soft and sweet sounding but also had those edm vibes + sound at some parts, the kind my 2012 self was obsessed with lol it reminded me of you because i remember you talking about a khan guy in the tags of a bin set a while ago so now my rare sighting of indian actors/singers (mainly the common last names i seem to only remember) among my friends when they talk about it makes me think of you! - 🍉

i completely understand!! i need a structured schedule to keep me at least SOMEWHAT busy! ooo interior design videos!! that sounds sooo fun!! and i’m not into kdramas but my buddies who are (including you now hehe) say that they’re fun to watch! and that sounds amazing! i love night time outings hehe i’m sure you had a blast! you are so brave for playing kpop in the car my family would roast me sooo bad ajsjsjjd

OMG THE SALMAN KHAN COMEDIES ADVERTISEMENT AJSJSJJD yeahh i have watched a handful of bollywood movies bc my irl friends looove them and we always quote that commercial jingle hehe.

i’m doing … eh. we’re putting my dog woody down this monday :( he has bone cancer and he’s not walking or eating so :( it’s his time to go unfortunately :( his brother buzz is gonna be so sad and i’ve cried my eyes out multiple times just today

work was .. interesting. one of my coworkers (there’s only 5 of us total) was being extremely mean to all of us and she called me specifically a bunch of names but thankfully i do not work with her until thursday 🙏 they’ve been making me work double shifts all week too so i’m just .. v v tired haha

[crossdressingdeath]

#cql critical#mdzs#mdzs text#yeahh this#the ending felt really tonally off tbh#i mean you have wwx getting absolved of most crimes and the guilty party dying and then he gets to find out that his son is alive#remembers him and his family (kinda) and misses him#wen ning has grown as a person and is happy to go off and do his own thing now and wwx is definitely super proud of that#but then lwj just dumps him in the middle of the road ( at least he's nice enough to keep walking with him until their paths split i guess)#and it's even worse bc wwx thought that he wouldnt have to walk his path alone anymore!!#wwx always lies to make other people happy and to try and trick himself into being happy or at least satisfied and he always has#when lwj refuses to stay for dinner and leaves wwx to deal with the wen remnants situation alone he loudly declares that *enter quote about#being happy to travel the single log bridge alone here*#and obviously thats a lie because we see wwx thrive when he's surrounded by people he loves and who loves him#we never see him happier than when he is with jyl or the wen remnants#but he tells lwj that he's happy to be alone and then jump forward to 1X years later when lwj tells him he doesnt have to be alone on that#path and its one of the most romantic scenes ive ever seen and it means so much to wwx and to lwj's character development#and then cql has him going actually no buddy youre on your own now and it's so obvious how devastated wwx is by that!!#and even though he tries to hide it (like he always does) he's so upset that it still bleeds through#and lwj - the man who's loved wwx for over sixteen years - sees that and ... does nothing??#like bro??? what????

@neverdoingmuch your tags. Yeah, CQL keeps all the "WWX doesn't have to be alone anymore" stuff from the novel and (if memory serves) adds LWJ saying his biggest regret is not staying by WWX's side and then ends with LWJ refusing to stay by WWX's side and leaving him alone? I mean, seriously? Talk about a complete failure to recognise one of the core themes of both the novel in general and LWJ's personal arc! Like, I'd go so far as to say it's a betrayal of the source material to show LWJ leaving WWX behind. Temporary or no, novel LWJ would not do that unless WWX specifically asked him to because he recognises that WWX does not want to be alone; something CQL LWJ apparently misses even when WWX outright says he thought they would continue travelling together and is clearly upset when LWJ springs the fact that he's leaving on him with no warning. So much for being the person who knows WWX best...

Current mood: thinking about how in CQL WWX wanted to travel with LWJ and expected that they'd stay together and was completely blindsided by LWJ saying no and staying behind to be Chief Cultivator, and how a lot of WWX's story is about the people he loves refusing to put him first and how this is just the same old story with someone who was supposed to be better and how LWJ didn't even suggest that WWX stay in Gusu with him and how LWJ didn't even mention "Hey, I'm not going to travel with you and I don't want you staying with me" until after WN and LSZ (the only other people WWX was welcome with) left so WWX didn't even ask them if he could go with them because he expected he'd stay with LWJ and how WWX spent who knows how long all alone in a world that was currently tolerating him because he did something good in a way very reminiscent of immediately post-Sunshot because he wasn't welcome with anyone else and how being alone was not WWX's choice, how everyone he loved left to do other things (nothing wrong with that but this is about WWX), how LWJ left him behind to do a job he'd shown no interest in up to that point and logically shouldn't have even been offered, how after sixteen years spent entirely alone in the realest possible way the end of the show is WWX being left alone again, this time entirely by the choice of the person he trusted to stay by his side...

...and how there are CQL fans who insist that that's healthier than the book because in the book WWX and LWJ eloped and started their canonically incredibly happy marriage quicker than would have been wise in the real world.

[ragnarssons]

the 100 ask game

I was tagged by @nightbleeder ty <3 (even tho half of the fandom won’t like my answers, yikes)  1. What would you get arrested for on the Ark? as the things were on s1? Probably punching Kane in the face just for being around... or probably stealing some supplies for people I care about. Or murder, because sometimes the urge is strong, it has to be even worse on a very limited space like the ark. 2. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground? ehhhh uuuuh, no, especially not with Bellamy’s ways of doing things at the time. Yeah, when Bellamy started to forbid people from eating unless they take their wristband off, is the only time I sided with Finn... 3. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..) a fist in his face? Idk, Finn would have never made me a necklace because I wouldn’t have liked him at all to begin with. But if it has to come to that, maybe a tree leaf or something that simple. 4. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be? *big breath* SINCLAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIR 5. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they? Bellamy “eyes sharp” Blarke, Clarke doctor Griffin, Monty, Roan (because broanlarke and also their mission was badass), and Raven “it won’t survive me” Reyes. I have guns, swords, brains, abs, technology, and medical support. 6. Minty or Briller? Briller. I’m actually looking forward to see what they did with Jackson and Miller tbh.... 7. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!) ehhh, Mari? Yeah kinda like Madi, cool. 8. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious  Who? Listen, I didn’t hate him at first, when I started the show. To me watching the first eps, it was THAT simple, Bellamy was the “bad guy” and Finn was “the good guy” the storyline sides with every time. And Clarke and him are the “rightful couple”. But delving into the show it gets more complicated and even tho I shipped Bellarke and Bellamy was by far my fav over Finn, I was “mehhh” with Finn. I didn’t care about his ass tbh. When he died I didn’t care. And then I rewatched the show. And I re-rewatched it. And re-re-rewatched it. And I HATE Finn. There is no more self-righteous character (except Octagon), and yet he’s the most basic douchebag you could ever put on a tv show. He’s lying, he’s cheating people, yet for a long while (5 episodes is still a long while) the narrative makes us want to be like “yeahh Finn ur so gooood”. And when there actually is the “love triangle” he goes all weak ass about it, being “sorry” and yet doing NOTHING to atone for what he did. He sleeps with Raven while it’s SOOO OBVIOUS that she’s just fucking him because she’s desperate and sad and just running away from things. SERIOUSLY? You don’t love her, she loves you, but you sleep with her??? And the way both Raven and Clarke had to be the “bigger person” for his sorry ass. I’m glad they worked things through and got an awesome relationship even tho he was here, with his “sad puppy eyes” dumb face. And the way he’s stalking Clarke wherever she goes, questioning and criticizing all her decisions. AND when on Unity Day he put CLARKE’S ass in danger, then went all “youuu should have truuusted meeee” when Clarke got her ass saved by Bellamy, BECAUSE his idea was dumb to begin with (and also because he kinda “forced” her hand to speak with the Grounders while she NEVER wanted to do that in the first place... why didn’t he go himself ehhh if he’s sooo smart? And after that he acted all schocked because the Grounders came with weapons - DUUUUUH). Do I hate Finn enough here?  9. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does? Not. I’ve known really hard times, but never in my life I have thought about “turning my feelings/pain off” in a superficial way. And idk, kinda knowing it’s some kind of computer thingy (do they know?) “taking control” over you, ehhh no. I don’t do drugs. 10. What character do you relate to most & What character do you like the least not including the obvious ones like Pike, etc… I relate to Bellamy the most. Idk, yeah I don’t have a little sister who was my duty for all my life. But on a larger spec, I’d do most of the things he did. I know I’d kill only if it were necessary and I know I wouldn’t be able to live with it and trying to atone for it. I know that I’m true and impetuous and impredictable like Bellamy.  And the ones I relate with the least are Octagon and Mur.hy (let’s not tag him because heeee). 11. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical) I’d be a basic bitch. With Clarke’s good earth cleavage because I can rock it too.  12. Favorite type of mutant animal? I loved the idea of the deer (also on s1 Lincoln actually has a “mutant horse”). I think Pauna is ridiculous, tho. I’d like to see more of these, on the other hand. 13. What would your job be on the Ark? Janitor? 14. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked? I think so. I know that when my adrenaline kicks in, I am able to push back a lot of my discomforts. Even tho I HATEEEEEEEEE everything related to surgery and stuff like that. To save Clarke, I would have, yeahhh... 15. If Lxa wasn’t Heda, but she’s still alive right? then who would make the best commander? No one? Idk just destroy this autocratic way of ruling. Wells would have been a good leader *side eyes*. Idk at least the Chancellor is elected, but I really disagree with the whole Grounders’ politics soooo I really don’t care about all this. 16. If you were a grounder, then where would you live and who would be your mentor? I’d love my mentor to be Lincoln. And ummm as for the clan ummm, I don’t care?? Trishanakru? The butterflies are nice, you know. 17. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty? Monty. I too want to give the Earth a giant hug. 18. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake? I would have given her some therapy cuz I don’t know why Wells had to die because she was seeing Jaha in her nightmares. Like?? Logic?? Where are you?? I really don’t know what I would have done but certainly NOT what they did to Murphy but also NOT what he would have done himself had he caught Charlotte (or what he did through the episode). Banishment seemed like a good idea, but she’s still a kid. Gosh I have no idea.  19. Who should be the Chancellor, if anyone? Someone from the lower ranks on the Ark. Like Sinclair? Given his relationships to a lot of characters, he would have been a good Chancellor, yeh. Or Ginger Dad. 20. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod)What is the one thing you would snatch while there? Dante’s art collection. 21. Do you think you’d have caught the virus spread through camp or would you have been immune like Oct.via? Since my headcanon is that the virus was like “a moral compass” (since only the good characters got it), I’d say that I wouldn’t be immune. (I’ll never buy this bs saying that Octagon and Finn are “the strong ones” LMAO) 22. What would your grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint? type Aloy on Google and that’s it. Aloy is bae. I also loved Lxa’s back tattoo tbh. And no war paint (idk all of these, on the show, are ridiculous). 23. Favorite quote? “For all its faults, Earth is really beautiful” also “We save who we can save today”. I also love the Traveler’s Prayer.  24. Can you forgive Mur.hy for his actions? How about Bellamy? About Mur/hy it’s gonna be a big NO. Like, sorry, I still have zero empathy for this character. People call him “complex”, to me, he hasn’t changed ever since the beginning of the show (he literally abandoned his “buddy” Bellamy on 401 like ehhh??). And the way he’s so judgy and “sassy” while he’d morally have ZERO right to be. I think the fandom works way more to make me dislike him, how everyone integrated the fact that he’s a bs human being and act like it’s normal and it’s a reason to like/love him. Bellamy has changed a lot from s1 to s4, I’ve never seen him NOT atone or try to do better after his screw-ups. That’s the main difference to me. Starting as a certain person, distrusting the others, okay, it’s one thing. Never buging from that? Nop. Several characters showed a lot of care for Mur.hy and he never did (apart from the very last moments of 413 so who knows, maybe coming from that, my PoV will change, but from s1 to s4 my PoV never changed on him). I honestly like the idea of the show integrating a character like this in the story, it’s “different”, yes. It’s just not characters I like and/or relate to. I also feel like the writers don’t (didn’t? until now) know how to put him in a narrative close to the people he could evolve with (because they... didn’t want him to evolve?). He was just alone on lots of times, aaand very often, sadly for him, related to SLs I didn’t like (Polis, Jaha’s quest, the mansion and all). I don’t like the “in it only for myself” kinds of characters. (if it can help, I also disliked both Bellamy and Kane when they seemed to be “just that” as well... but they evolved). 25. If one of the characters was in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning? NOOOOO ALREADY SO MUCH DEATH NOOOO One of the Grounders most likely. And unless it would be Lincoln then I wouldn’t care. 26. Least favorite ship? Favorite ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC anything including Octagon. Also anything including Finn. My favorite ship is Bellarke and I ain’t gonna bend the truth *shrugs* I care very little about any other ships on here lmao (except Monty and Harper, they have my thumbs up).  27. A song that should be included in the next season, like when Radioactive was? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo? Some Olafur Arnalds, let’s suffer. 28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murp.y for all that time? Honestly? All the data he had about the past in that thing? I would have watched it all. (or did it have only the one video with ALIE and Becca? I don’t remember) 29. Opinion on Emori? Roan? I loved Roan when he was an ally, but I do think he had a manipulative side that he played on Clarke a lot. I think he could have had way more potential than what they did with him. As for Emori... I like her, I’m glad she’s still alive as in, I hope they’ll delve into her more to make me like her more. Because I liked how she started to develop a “care” for Clarke and the others after ep408. Before that, I also didn’t like her, the “Bonnie and Clyde” thing she had with Murp.y didn’t interest me. 30. Would you want to be an extra that is killed off in a brutal way? Eh, yeah why not. 31. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of? MONTY, I mean? Why did he never get flashbacks?? Also Harper, Miller, Jackson, idk the Sky People ya kno.  32. A character you’d bang? Look, “Satisfied Girl” and Bree are my girls goal. @head-and-heart @bellamynochillblake @bellsbeard @captainheroism @grumpybell @bellamyslaugh @perhalta @bobnorley @foolish-nymeria ehhh if anyone else wants to do it, let’s go!

[some-good-meme]

Get To Know Me

Tagged by @elliox , thanks man this looks fun haha

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag however many people you want

(I would put it in the read more but idk how sorry)

THE LAST: 1. Drink: a coke i think 2. Phone call: rescheduling a doctor appointment ha 3. Text message: @elliox talking about buying shorts 4. Song you listened to: stuck in the sound, lets go probly 5. Time you cried: when i found my kitty dead.. well i guess i might have teared up a bit when a close friend left for the summer too,,,

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: haha man i cant even get someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: nah 8. Been cheated on: guess not 9. Lost someone special: hasn’t everyone at some point 10. Been depressed: oohhhhh yeah

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: ooohhh buddy yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: silver, black, that cool green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah! and i love em! 16. Fallen out of love: dont think so 17. Laughed until you cried: haha yea good times 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i mean yea but i don’t care, keep it comin 19. Met someone who changed you: honestly that happens everytime i get close to someone and i hate it but yes 20. Found out who your friends are: yeeeah sure did 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i guess that could count

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i think almost all??? maybe a couple no 23. Do you have any pets: 1 dog, 6 chickens, and i guess 2 kinda 3 cats now 24. Do you want to change your name: i mean i love my name,, but ive loved the name Alex ever since i could remember so idk 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: A hotel, and a heartwarming chat with a friend in the bathtub till like 4 am haha 26. What time did you wake up: i slept in till like 12 today it was good 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: drawin p 28. Name something you can’t wait for: a new start tbh, like the place i was at was good but i cant wait to be completely independent and to move on from some things

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: about a week ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i think ive grown from all the bad stuff so idk, but if i had to choose one id say all the times ive just gone with the flow and it blows up in my face 31. What are you listening to right now: nothing rn cause ive been listening to the same stuff all day haha  32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: mmm dont think so 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: me not being able to tell people how i actually feel !!! 34. Most visited Website: youtube probably cause music hah

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: yeahh, theres moles here 36. Mark/s: couple scars i got for really dumb reasons like burning myself while making cookies or falling off a treadmill hahah 37. Childhood dream: always wanted to be a mermaid , still love mermaids hah 38. Haircolor: brown rn, a little bit of bleached ends 39. Long or short hair: he short  40. Do you have a crush on someone: yea i guess a little one

41. What do you like about yourself: mmmm being able to make friends  42. Piercings: 5 on my ears and one nose ring 43. Bloodtype: ha i really should know this buuut

44. Nickname: smelly haha, oh and asshole alice i think is one 45. Relationship status: there was potential but she lives in Washington (im in Minnesota) 46. Zodiac: aquarius  47. Pronouns: really any i dont care, but i mostly use she/they 48. Favorite TV Show: x files is always good

49. Tattoos: im thinking of getting the solar system around my arm

50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: dose a root canal count ? 52. Hair dyed a different color: used to be orange 53. Sport: used to be in gymnastics 55. Vacation: love Mexico 56. Pair of trainers: uhhhhh nope

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing rn 58. Drinking: kinda want some water 59. I’m about to: go downstairs to get some water probly 61. Waiting for: idk to get tired so i can finally sleep i guess 62. Want: $$$! and cats! oh and friends(just in general)!!! 63. Get married: eh,,, if it happens its cool if it doesn’t oh well 64. Career: gonna try to be an animator, if that fails i guess ill run away and live in an abandoned water tower or something

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: probly hugs 66. Lips or eyes: i guess eyes,,, but when those lips are good thats 👌👌👌 67. Shorter or taller: no preference i guess 68. Older or younger: also no preference  70. Nice arms or nice stomach: abs are niceeee 71. Sensitive or loud: some of both ? 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship probably 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker cause i think im the hesitant one at times

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yup

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: many times with the contacts, good thing theyr the daily ones 77. Turned someone down: a real long time ago but

78. Sex on the first date: not into that sorry 79. Broken someone’s heart: sure hope not 80. Had your heart broken: yeah, but its all good now 81. Been arrested: no but i keep having dreams of it and when i wake up i get it confused with reality haha 82. Cried when someone died: of corse 83. Fallen for a friend: ehh i dont think i knew what it was at the time but kindof ??? real lowkey tho real lowkey

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: not too much lately haha 85. Miracles: i guess 86. Love at first sight: didnt for the longest time but then it happend to me soo 87. Santa Claus: haha no sorry 88. Kiss on the first date: that just seems kinda weird idk

OTHER: 90. Current best friend name: ive got a lot of friends and i dont like ranking them but some are @elliox, @nart-snart, @deez-lockz, @alieyawn, @echeveriia, @the-fourth-musketeer, @lcxiegrey, and @hackin-cactus 91. Eyecolor: hazel 92. Favorite movie: too hard to choose,, i usually just choose a miyazaki movie off the top of my head when i get asked this

I tag: hah well so many have already been tagged,,, but everyone i atted will be tagged i guess @

(if u dont wanna do it thats fine too!)

[rs-gs-archive]

Genuine Stardust. (Act 1, sequence 1)

"Isn't it funny? All these years being surrounded by stars that barely seemed to be any closer to us. But I've never been so happy to look at the stars from this distance again. Get what I mean, dude?"

"I hear ya…"

Weeks had passed since the Park dome was safely returned home; back on Earth. Its inhabitants needed time to re-adjust to their old lives, as some changes turned out more brutal than others. Pops would not be joining them, ever again. Muscle Man was elated to find out he had a small family now. Making sure to properly bond with his daughter, and making up for the missed times with Starla, he decided to take a long, well-deserved vacation. Fives seemed to follow suit, as he and Celia went out to explore Europe together, after these three years of separation. Benson was pleased to find out his studio appartment was still there, belonging to him. It was amazingly clean and neat too, despite his long absence. Could his pet pig have had something to do with it? Rigby and Eileen were about to make things official. And Mordecai? He didn't seem hurried to leave the park just yet.

"Hey, Mordecai?", Rigby began, "Shouldn't you… you know, set out to find a special lady again?"

"Nah", the blue jay replied, "after three years of being without either Margaret or CJ it feels like.. I don't know, dude. Maybe it's just fine this way. Guess I'm better off being on my own." He stretched, and went to lay on his back, staring into the star-filled night, on the roof of the house that once belonged to Pops. "What will be will be", he muttered, slightly sarcastic.

Rigby sat upright next to him, shooting him a pained look of disbelief. "You seriously want to be some sort of Benson?"

"What! No!?", Mordecai responded to this insult. "How is that anything like Be-..", he didn't finish this sentence, as he seemed to realize the similarities. At that instant, the two fellows witnessed their boss walking out of the house, heading for his car.

"But, speaking of Benson", he continued in stead, "I don't think he's heard anything from Pam anymore since we got back here".

"Yeah, what's with him and all this bad luck when it comes to women", Rigby chortled.

Something sparkly shot through the sky, catching Mordecai's attention as he went to lie down on his back again, arms behind his head.

"I honestly wish he could be happy for once", Mordecai suddenly spoke out, as he stared at the disappearing trail of sparkles. "I think he needs a special girl in his life.. way more than I do, at least"

"Yeahh! How about a real babe- EeOW!", Rigby clenched his teeth as Mordecai punched his shoulder.

The raccoon was met with an unamused glare.

"Fine", Mordecai sighed, "Let Benson have a 'real babe' then to love unconditionally.. but you better not get jealous, Rigby", he ended with a sneaky smile.

"You think wishing upon shooting stars really works?"

"Nah, probably not"

"WishCorp.", the giant letters read. Grandest Grants Guaranteed!, so says the slogan on the side of the huge structure.

"Ughhh, this is lame", a young girl inside the building groaned, as she walked past the many cubicles, serving mugs of coffee.

"I'm not learning anything from this, I need those credits".

Obviously, this youngster was an unappreciated intern for WishCorp., and like so many unappreciated interns, she got to do the crappy chores. The black sheep of the family. Or company, in this case. Quite literally too; she was a short-build, dark furred sheepgirl. A wooly afro added about 15 inches to her total length. Both sides of her head featured an impressive horn, curling around her ears. "Hi. My name is Avery", said the paper name tag on her chest.

Her colleagues' computer screens were showing recordings of people from all over the world, wishing upon stars that fell at just the right moment.

"Yeah, don't we ALL want to win the lottery?", one guy at his computer hooted. "Not today, buddy!" and he clicked "deny".

"Rude…", the girl thought to herself, walking past.

"I honestly wish he could be happy for once" she caught coming from a currently unmanned cubicle. She couldn't help but walk back and watch; "I think he needs a special girl in his li- *buzzzz* The screen seemed to have trouble processing the imagery. Yeah! How about a *buzzz*babe-EE *bzzzz*

Fine, let Benson have a- *buzzz* babe to love unconditionally".

The intern's eyes widened with glee. This has got to be the cutest wish she's ever heard, so altruistic. Maybe, if she took this matter in her own hands, she could finally get those required credits and make somebody happy as well. Shifting her eyes, her hand went for the mouse and clicked "GRANT". "Please specify" appeared on the screen, and she rapidly typed something in; the things she heard the glitchy blue jay and raccoon from the video footage say.. or so she thought. She then clicked "CONFIRM" in conclusion.

A radiant capsule popped out of the large device beside her, which she snuck into her pocket.

"This is gonna be SWEET!" she gushed to herself, as she made haste.

Back at the park, Rigby and Mordecai had left the rooftop and were bidding one another goodbye. Just as Rigby was about to walk out the door, said door was slammed open by an overly enthusiastic young ewe.

"WHAT THE-?!" Mordecai called out in surprise.

"Who are you?!"Rigby followed, rubbing his face where the door had hit him.

"Hiiii!", the girl cheered, "You two must be Mordecai and Rigby, correct? I overheard you making a wish and OH MY GOSH, I am absolutely smitten, so here I am!"

The raccoon and the blue jay stared silently at the girl in front of them. Rigby tilted his head.

"Sooo, are you the special girl Mordecai wished for..?"

"HA HA HA, good heavens, no! I'm an intern at-" she stopped right there, then corrected herself. "Uh, I work for WishCorp. and like I said, I overheard your wish for that Mr. Benson guy, so I got here as fast as I could to grant it!"

Mordecai and Rigby looked at eachother, then back at Avery. They didn't question what was going on at all.

"Awesome!", the jaybird exclaimed.

"That's what I thought!", the girl said with a nod, "So, if you guys wanna sign your names here, I can make things in order and mr. Benson will know he has some wonderful friends looking out for him!", she winked while speaking those words.

"We're gonna get the biggest raise!" Rigby chanted, scribbling his name on the card presented to him.

[freakypanther]

Trouble with my meat suit

I was too fat to go to the wedding. 

I put the skirt on— then took it off, and put it back on, then put something else on—then put the original skirt back on again. 

I felt like an envelope full of spaghetti. 

I walked the three blocks to the park to meet you.

I felt like pudding in a cup.

I got to the door, and turned right back around. 

I was too fat to go to the reception. 

I left my date there. Oops. 

Sorry buddy, not sure how to explain this one without looking crazy. 

It’s a woman thing? I don’t know.

“Um. I’m having trouble with my meat suit.” 

He laughed. 

So did I— but it didn't feel that funny to me.

I saw them dancing in the window. And singing, and electric-sliding, and champagne-ing. 

The girls with normal-sized tits, and normal-sized thighs, and cheeks that don’t dimple when they smile, and arms that don’t flatten out like silly putty when they drop them against their sides. 

What must it be like to look forward to being tagged in the pictures?

Oh, the freedom!

To dance every dance and not care what your ass looks like from that angle. 

Ever seen a photo of yourself on accident and it kind of ruined your whole day?

It feels like I don’t deserve to be in the pictures.

It feels like I don’t deserve to do the electric slide. 

It feels like I don’t deserve to laugh at the party.

It feels like I should go home until I’ve lost enough weight to be inoffensive.

So I didn’t go.

Because I was too fat to go to the wedding. 

My body doesn’t deserve to wear a strappy dress. 

Who does she think she is?

You’ve got to be a single digit dress size for that.

You’ve got to have ballerina arms to be taken seriously. 

And tiny little boobs to be loved. 

Oh! To be so lovable!

To not need a bra to run to the bodega!

You need a dainty little neck for things like that.

And calves that don’t look like sausages. 

Nobody falls in love with a smart girl. 

Nobody falls in love with a sad girl. 

Nobody falls in love with sausages for legs.

You might get ‘I’m flattered but…” 

Or  “I love you but I just don’t think of you like that”

Or worse “You’re more like a sister to me.”

Women with ballerina arms never get “sistered”. 

I was too fat to go to the wedding. 

So I hid instead.

I hid in the green plastic playground. 

Right outside the party tent.

Right at the top of the slide castle. 

Where no one could see my body. 

Where my meat suit deserved to be.

And more importantly where it felt safe.

“I can’t do this today” I said gently to myself. 

“This is just where I’m at right now.” she replied. 

Today is a hard day. And that’s okay.

This is not an exercise in self-love. 

This is not an exercise in body positivity. 

It’s an experiment in radical honesty.

About how I really feel about my body.

Not about how I WISH I felt about my body.

Or how I KNOW I should feel about my body.

Or how I THINK other women should feel about their body.

But how I actually do feel— about my body. 

Today. Right now. In my bed.

Crying like a baby. 

Tugging at my tits wondering if my new insurance will cover a breast reduction. 

Thinking that if I had been thin I would have gotten that promotion.

If my boobs and been smaller, he never would have left. 

If my neck had been dainty, he would have said “I love you” instead.

She would have reached out to me sooner.

They would have given me another chance.

It would have all happened differently. 

This is not an exercise in self love. 

This is an exorcism.

I was too fat to go to the beach that day.

If I had been thinner, the surfer guys who live out in the Rockaways would have befriended me first. 

They would have asked me questions, and bought me margaritas, and asked me to come home with them. 

They would have fought over me, and assumed I knew what I was talking about when I talked about how the stock market was all about perception.

They would have jumped at the chance to “paddle out with me sometime”. Thin women have friends in every borough. In every city. In every country really.

They get free tickets to stuff, and backstage passes to things, and standing invites, and they know lots of boys who secretly want to sleep with them.

Thin women say things like “yeahh I mean I think he’s kind of obsessed with me” and laugh about it because it happens all the time. 

Thin women have the luxury of rejecting moderately attractive men. 

I do not like this meat suit.

It makes me feel like cattle. 

Like livestock. Moo. 

Like I was born to be slaughtered. 

And poked, and prodded, and critiqued, and impregnated, and raped, and fondled, and herded. 

And told what to do. 

Like a pig on display on a platform. 

How round is she fellas?

Is it the good kind of round or the ‘fat bitch’ kind of round?

How much exactly am I worth to you? 

And why do I believe you when you tell me?

And when will I stop having to think about it?

And when can I stop having to plan around it?

And when can I stop having to compensate for it?

And when can I stop having to apologize for it?

And cover it up enough, but not too much.

Who’s gonna buy my cow if I give away the milk for free?

Or worse! If I don’t groom it in all the right places.

Your eyebrows are too thick! Rip them off!

Just kidding they’re too thin! Tattoo them back on! 

Big tits!  No— now small ones!

Blonde hair!  Now curly! 

Shave this! But not THAT!

Sexy now! But not later! 

Horny here! But not over there!

Plump on the bottom! But skinny in the middle!

Smart but not intimidating. 

Confident but not bitchy. 

Interesting but not weird. 

Funny but not funnier than you. 

Hey girl.

Take care of me but don’t be uptight about it. 

Suck my dick but don’t think about anyone else's. 

Fuck me without a condom but don’t get pregnant. 

Take birth control but don’t get mood swings.

Make me babies but don’t get fat. 

And never forget— you’re just wired this way. 

It’s biology. You have no say in the matter.

You’re at the mercy of your meat suit. 

That’s how it works. And if you get upset about any of this well, that’s just your meat suit hormones talking.

Yes it seems my meat suit decides all kinds of things.

You will do the desiring. And I will get “desired.”

You’re the one who does the fucking. And I’m the one who “gets fucked.”

I’m the one who has an expiration date. 

The one whose eggs are running out.

Who is unsexy for being pregnant.

But selfish for considering abortion.

I’m the one who goes to the clinic and has the thing shoved inside her, and has to look at the mistake we both made, that we both wanted, but is somehow my fault, and I’m the one who will pay for the procedure.

And worry about how it affects my future

And get the stretch marks 

And buy the serum

And use the jade roller

And snort the collagen

And lift the thing

And tuck the thing

and feed this fucking thing with my boobs

and pleasure your fucking thing with my crotch

and suck that fucking thing with my mouth 

And plug this thing up with a wad of cotton 

And bleach the thing

And wax the thing

And oil the thing

And maintain every fucking thing while at the same time doing all the other fucking things extremely fucking gracefully, and for fucks sake I’m so fucking over it. 

I’m so fucking tired, and it’s so fucking heavy.

Can I please just put this meat suit down?