#YEAH ITS PRETTY i just dont know if it feels like wicked

[blackcatarts]

omg what are your opinions on the set design and costumes of the wicked movie trailer so far? (been wishing for an animated adaptation since the manila production in 2014 but i’ll take what i can get despite the tiny celebrity drama surrounding it 😭 i really like elphaba’s glasses in the new one)

OKAY in terms of set design and costume im actually quite excited- set seems VERY heavy on cg but thats not necessarily a bad thing, im just not sure if the identity is WICKED if that makes sense? costumes are pretty too, though i will say im a little sad that hilferty's designs didnt really make it to the screen... im a huge fan of the costume design and visual storytelling in wicked but im not upset because something something breathe new life into something old. that being said. fiyeros costumes are so disappointing so far 😭 where is his eye catching vest why does he look like flynn rider. i think flynn rider is hot but he is not fiyero tiggular... i hope his pants are tight at least. im daring the crew to mess with that specific design aspect. they better make those pants tight. or else.

[dullahandyke]

Whenver I see that post abt a Twitter user completing Keith Haring's unfinished painting with AI and getting replies like 'NO this is BAD ❌🙅‍♂️🔥 the original meaning of the painting wasssss' I'm always a little baffled that rarely do people reblog a version clarifying that the tweet is like. Satire and/or bait

[tan1shere]

Attention

Gamer Danni x female reader !

A/n: first Danni fic on hereee. I adore doing not so well known people for everyone who loves them. Which may not be alot so that's why I'm here to provide for you all :)

Summary: you get very bored, Danni is a typical gamer, glued to that thing. You just wanted her, needed her.

Warnings: soft dom Danni (I love me a soft dom 🤧) so mdni, cock-warming. Pet names !

Masterlist

"Danniiiii." You whined out. She was currently playing this new game she had been obsessing over. You, enjoying watching her. Her skilled fingers on the joy stick. Which is what led you here, needy. Wanting her touch. She has been glued to it for days. Which you don't mind, you enjoy everything aboit it. Minus the lack off attention she gives you. "Yeah babe?" She will finally reply after what felt like forever. Not even bothering to give you a split second look. "I miss youu, come to bed." You pat the spot next to you loud enough for her to hear, as her back was facing you. "In a minute my love, just gotta beat this level." She replies, focusing like crazy. You let out a loud sigh, and this didn't go unnoticed by her. "Dont be like that, you'll get what you want." You begin to stand and go over to her. "But I've been waiting three days straight." You fold your arms as your body is next to her chair.

"You drama queen." She grins and shakes her head. You scoff. "Its true!!" Protesting as you stare at her. You get a tiny idea. "Why don't I just sit on your lap, while you play. You know. Moral support." You give her a toothy smile. She rolls her eyes with a small chuckle. "Go on then." She allows, moving the seat a bit so you can be sat on her lap. "But behave mama. Gotta get this." You smile still. "Or it'll just be longer the wait yeah?" You nod, understanding. Going to put your head in her neck. You give gentle kisses, moving your gaze to the screen, watching for a few. Your eyes travel to her lovely hands, looking at her arms as her sleeves on the messed up shirt she was wearing were rolled. You loved whenever she did that, and she knew you did.

As she continues to play, you move a bit in her lap, just getting comfy and all. But as you move a bit you feel something, you feel her strap. And it gives you a wicked idea. Putting your hands so they are resting on her shoulder but not disrupting her game play. "Dan." You say into her ear. She hums, yet again not paying any mind to anything but the screen. "I have an idea babe. It'll keep me happy while you play." She moves her eyes to look at you slightly. She knows. "If you must." She tries to hide her smirk, failing miserably. You begin to move her sweats, grabbing the one thing you wanted. You slip off your underwear with ease. Sinking yourself down on it with a small whine at that delicious stretch.

She's so inlove with you as you do that. Watching your mouth hang open slightly, resting your head back on her shoulder. It just felt so so good. But you promised to behave. As she keeps playing she can't help but want you aswel, and as temping as you looked right now she had to keep her composure. Your boredom started kicking in, moving your hips just slightly. "Baby. What did I say." She speaks softly still paying more attention to her game. "But Danniii." You breathe out near her ear. She tries not to give in, listening to your pretty little whines. You've become desperate to feel more of her in you. "I'm almost done love I promise." You sit up blocking her view of the screen, making the strap move in you and against her. Making her let out a small groan at the feeling. You grab her face with both your hands.

"Nooo I need you now. Right noww." You squish her face slightly as she sets the controller down, redirecting her hands on your waist. She smiles slightly, rolling her eyes playfully. "You drive me crazy." She says finally giving in. She brings you close going to kiss you deeply. Moving her hands to your waist, moving your body a bit closer to hers. You let out a tiny noise into the kiss, beginning to feel out of breath at the intensity. As you pull back she goes straight for your neck sucking, biting. She's firm but also gentle with the movement. You let your mouth hang open slightly, feeling your eyes come to a close as you savor this all. "I can feel you leaking already." She speaks into your neck. You bite your lip at her low voice, most definitely making you 'leak' more onto her.

"Please Danni." You were desperate for something, anything. "Slow down there, I've only just begun." You feel her move a bit, feeling her rut her hips once, up into you. You let out a moan. "G-god Dan.." Your breathing unsteady, feeling your brain do laps in your head. "You like that?" She ponders for a second going to do it again, this time more forceful. You moan close to her ear making her bite her own lip. One thing about Danni is she loved your moans. She craved to hear them. So whenever she got the opportunity to bring some out of you, she couldn't resist.

Her hands move to your waist making you speed up by lifting and placing you back down on the plastic dick. Your lips still near her ear, humming in response to her actions. You try to move on it, wanting more. Her head falls back against the chair as you start to bounce, causing her hair to move back slightly showing her eyebrow piercing to you. God she was hot. You then leaned in to kiss her. "So close." You whisper against her lips. She hums into your mouth, feeling you tighten around the strap as if it were actually attached to her. And within seconds you infact did cum. Letting out a small moan of her name as you slowly rest your head back on her shoulder.

You were truly fucked out and tired, probably for the best. But who was Danni kidding, she didn't want to go back to the game. She wanted to be with you for the rest of the night. Like she should've all along. She picks your almost sleeping figure up and carries you to the bed. Kissing your temple. "Goodnight angel."

A/n: future me hihi ! Uhm this has been sitting in my drafts for probably 8 months... yuhr but here it is for the few who did want it !! I'm getting to like all of my old drafts and just posting them LOL

[lazulian-devil]

Are y'all ready for Book 3? No? Well, I dont care, do I now. You're already reading, its too late for you to leave now.

The Villains of Skulduggery Pleasant 3 - Batu

We arrive in the third book, The Faceless Ones, which seamlessly incorporates the consequences of everyones actions into even worse mayhem.

Following Vengous almost succesful attempt at opening the rift, a mysterious man named Batu (who is also the guy dealing with Sanguine at the end of Book 2 being all ominous) is behind the kidnapping (and murder, lest I forget) of all remaining Teleporters. Because he needs someone to teleport something through a portal in a different dimension.

(Tangent: Im sure Shunters didnt exist yet in Book 3. I feel like this should have been a Shunter thing and I can neither remember nor bother to find proof why the Anchor needs a Teleporter instead of a Shunter. In Book 8, Crayfon Signate quite literally does something similar with the Sceptre of the Ancients, looking for a Signature and then finding the correct dimension. Im pretty sure its about it all being a gateway instead of a direct transferal. If anyone knows, do tell.)

Alright, so. We have Batu/Paddy as our main villain and he is a brilliant and excellent one. But lets get the honorable mentions out of the way, so no villains feel ignored.

Our boy Billy-Ray Sanguine is of course part of Batus Squad, but so are the remains of the the Diablerie with Jaron Gallow, Murder Rose and Gruesome Krav. I honestly admit that I feel they are caricatures and the screentime they have is sufficient not to make them boring. They all die in the end anyways and its a shame that it reflects in the way they are so very one note and almost ridiculously "evil". On top of that, we also have a Seahag (in a lake. With corpses. I do love how dumb that is). Then theres Scapegrace and the second buildup for Thurid Guild.

I will be honest with you: Batu is an exceptional villain in terms of motivation, speech and arc. His surrounding villains are sadly one note caricatures, besides those that get to live into the next book (mainly Guild, Scapegrace and Sanguine). The others are often played for jokes or just to make a point on how cruel, wicked and horrendous the Diablerie and the worshippers of the Faceless Ones truly are. Which, yeah. Thats fair. But I always love myself some three dimensional side characters, so let me be a little sad.

Now, lets think about why Batu actually works:

Hes mortal. Evil, yes. But mortal. But he could have been magic. Technically, its his birthright.

And thats all, really. Its man grasping for something he could have never had and that he could have never been gifted. Its another case of fanaticism. Fruitless, sad and deadly.

Now, the SPU has a long history of ignoring of belittling mortals in the way that they are and who they are. This becomes more apparent in later books (the xenophobia/eugenics in Phase 2 for example) but its also pretty evident here:

Batu uses his mortality, his frailness and his visual weakness as a shield. If, for example, Batu was young and fit, it wouldnt quite work the same way. His age and behaviour is a smokescreen.

Funnily enough, he even points it out in his first interaction with Skulduggery and Valkyrie:

"Reach a certain age and suddenly, you're a nobody, suddenly you're not even worth counting." - Book 3, Chapter 13

That combined with his somewhat senile mannerisms, the whole old-man schtick is so very stereotypical. Because of course it is. Both readers and heroes alike are blinded by how much of a an old man™ Paddy really is.

Contrast this with Batus first appearance in Chapter 7 and 14. The way he speaks ist fundamentally different.

"You failed me, Mr Sanguine. I paid you to do a job and you failed me. [...] You will have a chance to redeem yourself."

Paddy doesnt hold power in conversation, hes a silly little man. Its on purpose, of course. Authenticity breeds trust and everyone can relate to an old cynical man, stuck in his ways. Batu on the other hand commands a room. Speaks with a high tongue, with precision. Short and accurate, no breath wasted. Naturally.

When you read the books and you are aware of the twist, there are a lot of things, behaviours and sentences that could make you raise an eyebrow. But our heroes dont have the time to question anything, so they dont. They willingly accept that this man owns the land with the rift, that he doesnt panic at the explanation of magic, that his questions are a little suspicious. Because then they would need to stop. And neither Skulduggery nor Valkyrie do such a thing. They are cocksure of themselves, remember? And Batu knows. Batu even bets on that, as all sorcerers he has met have been equally cocksure. And all his henchmen are too. He's playing all of them, simply because he knows how they work. He has weaseled his way into their homes, has fed their cats (s. Chapter 36), has seen their arrogance and sadly his cynicism proves right at every turn. He really is invisible to them. A mortal obstacle, to be dealt with to safe the world. Always the roadstop, never the destination.

In Chapter 20, Paddys reaction to magic is a smile, not fear. He knows magic exists. It entices him. The shock he displays is - of course - an act, but a very believable one. Sure, yeah, the old man doesnt mind anymore. Hes too old, he has seen too much. Magic might as well exist to him. And he was horribly stubborn this whole time, so it makes sense that he would have an equally spiteful response to magic.

We even come full circle: Paddy asks Valkyrie if she despises mortals for what they are.

"Someone who can run fast dismisses the people slower than he is. What if its someone who can run really fast? Then the slower people become little more than an annoyance, and then an irritation. Superiority breeds contempt." - Book 3, Chapter 20

(Quick sidenote: Its like he wants to be caught when you start looking for it? He himself is the one who runs fast. He himself sees the others as annoyance, as irritation. What a beautifully wretched thing to say.)

Essentially, Paddy is justifying himself here, but, again, reader and heroes are caught up in this very relevant question that plagues Valkyrie: Being detached from Humanity, from Family. Once again, Batu is using his understanding of the magical world against them. He is one step ahead. He recognises Valkyries youth and asks her specifically. Not Skulduggery, who would dismiss it. Her. Even further, he points out the massive flaws in the systems to her, as one of the first in the whole bookseries:

"So magic people view themselves as mages and everyone else as mortals. And that doesnt sound like a group of people elevating themselves to godhood to you?" [...] "... They have the power of gods, dont they? They have magic at their fingertips. Their affairs affect the world. [...] You hold the fate of the world in your hands. If thats not godlike, I dont know what is."

Now the avid reader might have noticed that once Paddy speaks about sorcerers and magic users, his whole old man™ act falls away. His speech becomes more like Batus, because he is Batu in this moment. He isnt acting here.

And why does no one recognise it? Because its a justified question. Again and again, Batus line of logic proves true: All sorcerers are playing god to an extend. A theme that will be picked up far more heavily between Book 7-9 and the entirety of Phase 2. So, as readers, its enticing to see someone challenge the presented Status Quo and as Valkyrie, this direct confrontation helps settle her own views as a growing Teenager into this magical world of god-pretenders. Batu fulfills both the role of a mentor and a villain, pointing out the straw that will break the camels back again and again and again in the following books.

He himself fights like a mortal: There are no fancy gadgets in the big fight. There are machine guns and grenades, painfully mortal weapons. Painful is literal in this sense. Batu chooses reliable weapons of war and not unpredictable gods. At least, in the beginning. There are also the Hollow Men, a whole artifical army of them. Which, broken down, is hilarious. The sorcerers, capable of destructive magic and definitely murder, are using the mortal weapons against the heroes. The army that is there to support them is one of magical stupidity, literal child friendly canon fodder. His army of magic men is one without mind, without question. And his Diablerie, despite actually having a brain, never question him either. They're all hollow men, one way or another. Some of them by power of creation and some of them simply because they are blinded by their own fanaticism, blinded by Batu and the true fight. So, he doesnt fight like a mortal at all. He fights like a mortal that knows the sorcerers. Using the best of both worlds, the most potent startegies each side has to offer. Additionally, there is also the implication of him commanding a massive army without even being there, which does underline his godlike aspirations as well.

Finally, when its revealed that he is indeed Batu, he declares himself "not a mindless drone" and "someone with a vision" (Chapter 36). But what is the root of all his evil?

"Magic." He said. "My father was a sorcerer. So was my brother. But not me. I just didnt have the spark, you know? But now, its finally my turn."

Batu feels robbed of godhood. And that is precisely why he is summoning gods to overtake the world. If he cant reach for divinity, everyone else who can needs to suffer for it.

[Val] "You're going to let a Faceless One take you over."

[Batu] "And then I'll be brimming with magic that ordinary sorcerers would never even dream about. They're not gods, Valkyrie. They're as pathetic as the people you left behind in your old life. But me? I'll be a true god."

But that isnt everything. Despite how much his mortality annoys him, he sees it as the one defining strength that seperates him from sorcerers. His mortality makes him powerful.

[...] "I was born without magic. Ive had to be strong. My will is iron. Im not going to be simply erased - not like the others."

His mortality makes him so powerful that he will rise above the mortals, above the godlike sorcerers and be able to Neon Genesis Evangelion Pilot his way through the world as a Faceless Ones vessel.

So now everyone can agree that Batu is another insane man in a series of insane villains, right? I dont need to spell that out. But before I go and give you a nice little ribbonbow for the ending, lets look at Batus death and how its described.

"Batu turned, spread his arms and raised his eyes to his god, and as it rushed to fill him, he screamed with terror and exultation. And then Batu was gone." - Chapter 42

The Faceless One described here is the one that is responsible for all the mayhem at the end of the book. Its by far the strongest from the bunch. So maybe some part of Batus willpower speech is true. But the written text makes it very clear that this is not the case. Batu is an excellent vessel for the strongest Faceless One. But nothing more than that.

Which is horribly ironic. The man that gained the trust of dozens of sorcerers, has perfected being a non-threat to anyone but believes himself to be worthy of the power of a literal god vanishes instantly. Just like everyone else.

But I love Batu as a villain. Waving all the weirdness aside. He is compelling because in the few moments that he is actually authentic, he is terrifying.

Not to mention he actually achieved what The Diablerie and Baron Vengous couldnt. He manipulated Skulduggery into revealing where the gate was. He used the ressources of the enemy to his own gain. The saddest thing about Batu is, that if he had put his mind to anything but godhood, he would have ascended anyway. He has all the ressources: smarts, wit, the ability to plan longterm, not to mention charisma and leadership skills.

He would have made a magnificent sorcerer. And thats just... incredibly compelling. Batu isnt strong with magic. He doesnt throw flames around, he isnt a walking skeleton. He is a cynical, old man that despises the hand he has been dealt and instead of accepting what is, he cuts from the world the pieces he thinks he deserves. And in this incredible determination blossoms a man that could have been anything. That had the skills, the mind, the speech to become something wonderful, something progressive, a change bringer.

Instead of recognising the talents he possesed, he focused merely on what he didnt have. Turned to evil, to spite. To bitterness and cynicism. He almost became the downfall of the entire world in his quest to prove that he was, indeed, as godlike as the rest of them.

9/10. Go Paddy.

Wanna read more of my breakdowns?

Here is Part 1: Nefarian Serpine and Part 2: Baron Vengous for you!

[tincanton]

my thoughts on jrwi ep 110 :DD

- THEY FUCKING EXPLODED????

- NOT THE FUCKING STICK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

- LET THEM HAVE THE STICK YOU MONSTER

- honestly glad chip cant get another deal because thats double fucked

- erm i dont think you should let niklaus decide when the dread queen comes back maybe its just me but that seems. KINDA BAD :DD

- dude not. dont call him papa possibility :((

- CAPTAIN ROSE CAUSED IT??????

- THE STICK 😭😭😭

- yeah chip lost something valuable alright THE STICK. oh yeah and his heart too I Guess 🙄🙄

- [looking at his exploded friends] u alright? ._.

- theyre speaking spanish :> my beloveds.

- augh chip and queen hug :(( i love them so much :(( also WWHO TF IS QUEEN need their backstory asap

- OH MY GOD AAAUGH THE REFERENCE

- "nice forearms. and nicer staff :))" "did you just walk up and say that to me???" 😭😭 (did not even listen to the entirety of the old campaign) (like one episode at most)

- "M̶͈͉̌͐Y̵̼̆͂ ̵͕͆͆T̸̩͖͌͆I̶̘̐̇M̸̭̲̔̇E̵̯̜̍͒ ̶̝̀H̴̲̹͊͌Ą̷͌̅Ș̴̛̉ ̴͚͝Ċ̴̬O̷̻͚̊̕M̴̲̭͐̉Ë̷̢͉́͘.̶͈̰͐̀" "should we call them back who was that :}" gilly my silly 

- awh chip and jay conversation :(( jay feeling guilty because chip had his heart taken away because she didnt get her limbs taken off (girl its okay nobody wants to be amputated) and chip reassuring her that its fine even though its definitely not fine

- get that leg fixed goddamn. dont hide it no-

- Tree Powers Activate >:D [tree powers do not activate]

- "that barrel you sleep in? thats made of trees!" "but... it doesnt have any branches..." 

- starts weeping sexily

- what is happening. i cant keep up with their silly banter this is so funny help

- "H̴͔͌͊Ę̵̢̂̔Ẻ̴̯E̷͓̓͛Y̸̱͂͑Y̴̤̹̅Ỹ̷̧̪Y̷̘̆͝Y̷͓̙͆." "omg i didnt know you were chill like that."

- idk if anyone noticed but gillion is my silly. my favorite little guy if you will. gilly. he is my everything. he is bantering with a tree.

- HELP JAY AND CHIP ARE JUST STANDING THERE

- GOD DONT LET GILL ASK THE TREE AHAHAHHSHDHSHD

- "do u like blue color or red color more?? :∆"

- HOW MANY TREES ARE THERE??? NONONONONO GILLY DONT DO IT-

- "what do they call you?" "how long until you die :3"

- HELP GILLION WIKI. LISTENING TO JRWI IN PUBLIC IS SO HARD IM SO GLAD I HAVE A MASK BECAUSE I CANT STOP SMILING OMG

- Gillion Motherfucking Titty Sucking Tidestrider

- omg the prophecy lore pls i need the truth too

- i did not understand any of that but cool

- "who are you without your titles?" "i dont know" ow. okay.

- god i hate how jrwi can go from so funny to so emotional so quickly. i love it. i hate it.

- albatrio my beloved. my found family

- "if the world explodes, at least we get exploded together :))" aw... i think...

- "what do you see in these fishy eyes 0-0" "what color are gills eyes?" "Bloo :]"

- GRAGHH GILL ASKED WHAT THEY SEE IN HIM. THEY SEE A FRIEND. THEY SEE FAMILY. THEY SEE A GOOD PERSON. HURGH. IM GONNA THROW UP. THEY SEE SOMEONE WHO WILL LAUGH WITH THEM WHEN THEYRE IN DANGER. GOD IM GONNA BE SICK.

Gill: What if there's nothing?

Jay: Have you enjoyed it?

Gill:  I think I had a pretty rough start, but yeah. Even the worse parts. Maybe more than I should have. Yeah I have.

Chip: Then fuck it.

Jay: That's all that matters.

OH SO YOU WANT TO HURT ME. OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL ME.

- "Even if its all inevitable I'm glad we got written in the same story." Dont. Dont do this to me.

- HELP NOT THE INTERVALS OF GILL JUST BREAKING DOWN IN BETWEEN SENTENCES

- NO LITERALLY DO NOT GIVE ANYONE THE DECK OF MANY THINGS PLEASE

- noo haha chip dont pull a card from the deck of many things youre so sexy hahaa (i already made this joke befo

- "gambling is not destiny"

- woah theres a wicked looking sword in the corner

- BABY BLADE????? yeah were movin on.

- dont eat chip's hotmode swords pretty please

- charlie has made nuh uh and yuh huh a part of my vocabulary this sucks

- istg if "it is what it is" becomes the new "it is my destiny".... 

- naw gill trying to defy the gods by not sleeping 😔😔 bbg just go sleep

- they gotta get outta here man i dont wanna know what happens if they get too many corruption points jays ALREADY AT 5...

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO EARL???? HELP LMAO

gill: Oh Well you know if you need anyone Else to cast the spell for you... Maybe theres like a PALADIN or someone-

chip: i can try :))

gill: *fucking leaves*

- chip jumpscaring igneous for a bit is so silly of him please use chip being dead as a prank more lmao 

- hnnghhnghhnb star saying that they have to make their own hope while holding zamia hrrrghhr oh theyre In Love in love

- "Life keeps going on. And so do the holes. In the sea. And they call to us." - Jay Ferin

- "he was there one moment and then he turned to dust and died. Wait im thinking about the tree. Green is fine :))"

- he gave gill his seed. yuh huh. yurp.

- gill has two moms that share custody of him :] and also theyre gods :]

- "i have ceremony prepped if you want to make it official :>" HAHSHAHDHS GILL #1 SUPPORTER OF STAR/ZAMIA FRRR

- ZAMIA BLUSHING PLEASEEE

- BAHAHAHSHSH "not a big deal ive officiated a wedding before :)) NOT THAT IT WAS HONORED 👀😒😒🙄🙄"

- TIL DEATH DO US PART. AND CHIPS DEAD. ALL IT TOOK WAS TAKING CHIPS HEART TO GET DIVORCED.

- "ive seen this before :DD do you guys wanna get married?" lmao so this is why i saw some ship art of chip and igneous.

- "i share my finances with them already [gesturing to gill and jay]" is this supposed to imply that you are married to your captains chip nolastname. chip jrwi. 

- jay: nononono we're not adding another Person to that though. oh so you ARE in a polyamorous relationship huh. huh.

- gill: i never thought of it like that ._. (he was in the poly and he didnt even realize)

- wait so have they just decided that if they both roll nat 20s they would get married. ermm. chip i think you. i think you forgot smth... (/hj)

- chip got 0 game just go to your fish man already

- "as a cleric i feel obligated to stop y" "no dont." "sure ._." dang they really want to go into this hole dont they.

- nonono no mold hallway no please no no

- lol did they just forget to mention the literal teleporter they have that can bring them out of the black sea at any point.

- honestly i love that the riptide pirates are just bad at being pirates. like go off and make friends and throw your money off the ship.

- igneous part of the riptide pirates :DD (literally run away from these dumbasses)

[desiresign]

sending you this so you can ramble abt your blorbos so! seiga for the ask thing ~ aesop

THANKYUUU :DD ough

favorite thing about them

seiga my beloved.i love you... i dont know why.. i like when girlies are kind of evil and have little morals and are unliked by everyone else and .. . I LIEK HERRRRRRRR OK (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)(´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

least favorite thing about them

normie answer:omg guys, she violates human rights with dead bodies, omg! scandelous!!! TRUE ANSWER: I WANT HER TO HAVE anything anything a MERCH i will take even the generic anime style type idk idk ouuuou uuuu seiga fumo doesnt exist i want it to be real

favorite line

ええ、腐ってて可愛いでしょ？ yeah, shes rotten and cute, isnt she... (talking about yoshika) awwwwww the oober doober

brOTP

i do like to see her hanging out with the taoists, she certainly isnt that close to them (though much moreso to miko) but i think it could be a funny type relation. guy who hangs around your house and you dont want her around but shes chill. you think about how evil she is while enjoying her lovely dinner she made for everyone.

OTP

i dont ship her with anyone really ,NO BITCHES!!! unless... me!???????!!!!! seiga just doesnt get anyone. but i dont think she really cares about romantic relationships. honestly for the best because she would probably have a moochy relationship considering she likes to hang around other people to get something out of them in return... she problematic aromantic lesbian representation (so true)

nOTP

i dont like seiga x yoshika... well simply, i dont... so yeah no matter what it seems like i say or draw of them, i really dont ship them together XD and dont think of it that way at all. i dont have strong feels about the subject i just dont like it..

random headcanon

i think that during the time yoshika was alive seiga and her never even met, but i think yoshika had heard of her in passing and that inspired her to be fascinated by hermits. which makes things ironic in the end, doesnt it!!

regarding jiangshi, this method was one of the first spells that she learned after ascending to hermitdom and was one of the highest points that led to her being cast as a 'wicked hermit.' yoshika is the only one she has kept around for a very long time because she is her favorite, so she is the only one who gets all of seiga's love and anti-decomposition spells. she loves her very much :3 also, since yoshika says that "we" in relations to her guarding the mauseleum, there are definitely more around. jiangshi do not last very long due to decomposition, so they eventually "die" again and are taken out of seiga's control.

i headcanon seiga as being chubby literally because of a dream. i know that sounds funny but heres a fact about me, im kind of a dream obsessed person sometimes, i really like having dreams and thinking about what my brain is doing. but anyways, i had the dream before seiga and yoshika were even really characters on my love radar, i just simply knew them. i dont know what happened in the dream but they were both there, and i think it took place in my house??

seiga with a pokemon: im not sure about more than this, but one thing for sure im really specific about is her having a luxray!! they can see through walls! so as the wall-passing hermit, it would totally make her life easier with a pet who can see whats going on before action XDc sadly though i dont know others she can have.. WAIT yeah ok i dont know the new pokemon very well but houndstone can also be hers. uoppy

also, seiga fursona is cat, its pretty normie and obvious, well if she didnt wanna be called a cat well ZUN shouldve never called her nyanyan... niang niang nyanyan seiga meowwwwwww meeeeowwwwwww OUAAAAH.

unpopular opinion

shes my best friend

song i associate with them

well desire drive and her theme, old yuanxian and um... yeah yeah... necromantic yeah..... (sadly succumbing to fate)

favorite picture of them

can you can you look at seiga in WaHH for me please

^ sittoing

THANK YOU. AND REMEMBER. SEIGA FOREVER

[romanticallyghosting]

20, 12, 17, 18, and 6 for the ask game

20. favourite musical for sentimental reasons

i HAVE to say falsettos. just because it means so much to me as a queer person. and it makes me SO emotional and i just think that out of all the musicals i know of its the one ive thought most about?? like theres so many themes and so much symbolism to unravel if youre up for it and yeah. i think itll always hold a special place in my heart

also wicked!! its the first musical i saw, and its one of the few shows ive had the honor of seeing MULTIPLE times!!! and the second time was on a class trip i remember very fondly regardless, sooooo

12. favourite musical that’s no longer on broadway

little shop of horrors!!! it had a broadway run, but i think people have said it almost works better in a more intimate space, and ive seen it and agree!! its off-broadway now, and has a rotating cast of VERY big names in broadway (jeremy jordan, darren criss who was on glee, christian borle, hell even the drag queen jinkx monsoon!!!). if you ever get a chance to go see it i highly recommend!! its a very good show

17. favourite musical that you’re ashamed to like

i feel like this could be a basic answer.... but hamilton. i think its pretty polarizing and i dont really LOVE it anymore, but it was the first musical i really got into, and it holds a special place in my heart just for that.

its a little old to me now so i wont listen to it voluntarily, but i still know EVERY word and will not hesitate if someone puts it on efufdjfuiegr

18. favourite musical you never talk/blog about

i LOVE hadestown and something about is just so cool to me. i cried SO much watching it and flowers is UGHFUGHFDJFHG such a good song. honestly??? any song with eva noblezada is a song im in love with (im in love with HER)

idk why i dont talk about it!!! i think that some musicals are easy to talk about because the characters are silly to me or whatever but with hadestown its more of a core message ahd the theme and the atmosphere and the songs that make me love it

6. favourite musical you’ve seen live

ugh thats hard because ive had the privilege of seeing a lot of shows!! i think i have to go with ride the cyclone though, because theres something you just cant beat about seeing a musical youve LOVED for a while and youve talked so much about but that youd never thought youd get to see live. so that was really neat and it was a lot of fun because i got to bring some friends with me who also loved the show and share that experience with them :))

[pesterloglog]

Jade Harley, Karkat Vantas

Act 5, page 2851

-- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

GG: ok, my robot exploded

GG: now what smart guy!

CG: HOLY SHIT, IT'S HARLEY

CG: COMMUNICATING WITH ME OUT OF NOWHERE OF HER OWN VOLITION

CG: HOLD THAT THOUGHT WHILE I GO INFORM MY DISGRACE OF A CLOWN FRIEND ABOUT THIS TRUE REAL LIFE MIRACLE, IT MIGHT LIFT HIS SPIRITS

CG: I HAVE TO SPREAD THE WICKED WORD LIKE I'M MASSAGING SHITTY SPARKLEDUST AROUND MY NETHER REGIONS TO ASSUAGE A VICIOUS RASH

CG: IT'S LIKE I'M SEASONING A FUCKING STEAK HERE.

GG: i knew i would regret this

GG: talking to you is so terrible

GG: its making my headache worse

CG: OH YEAH, BECAUSE TALKING TO YOU HAS JUST BEEN ABSOLUTE EUPHORIA.

CG: DON'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT HEADACHES.

CG: RIGHT NOW THERE'S A LUMBERJACK SPLITTING WOOD ON MY THINK PAN.

CG: HE'S GOT THE FOREARMS OF A CHOLERBEAR, A MOUNTAIN OF LOGS, AND NOTHING BUT FUCKING TIME.

GG: uuuugh shut uuuuup!

GG: will you just tell me what you wanted?

CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

CG: I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO CONTACT ME, NOT THAT I'M NOT TICKLED BY THE SURPRISE.

CG: LET'S CATCH UP. HOW IS EVERYTHING? HOW WAS YOUR DEATHNAP?? I CAN ONLY HOPE IT WAS AS REFRESHING AS MINE.

CG: WHAT'S THAT? HOW AM I? I'M GREAT, FEEL LIKE A MILLION BOONBANKS EVER SINCE MY LITTLE POWER SNOOZE.

CG: STILL PRETTY TIRED THOUGH. YOU LOOK A LITTLE DROWSY YOURSELF. BUT WE WON'T BE GOING BACK TO SLEEP ANY TIME SOON, WILL WE JADE?

CG: NO WAY. A PAIR OF FEISTY GOGETTERS LIKE YOU AND ME, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR DREAMS OF HORRORTERRORS FONDLING EVERY RECESS OF OUR NAKED PSYCHES, PLEASANT THOUGH THEY ARE.

CG: YOU HAVE A LOT OF IMPORTANT USELESS SCAMPERING AND GIGGLING TO DO. WHEREAS I HAVE A CRUCIAL DATE WITH A PNEUMATIC DRILL, TO BORE A HOLE IN THE CENTER OF MY FOREHEAD, DEEP INTO THE PLUMP ANGUISH BLADDER WHICH STORES MY ALIEN DISMAY FLUID. THAT'S A REAL THING WE HAVE, FYI.

CG: I WILL THEN PERFORM A LITTLE SOFT SHOE NUMBER IN THE PUDDLE OF FLUID THAT ACCUMULATES ON THE FLOOR, WHILE MAKING THE BIGGEST SMILE EVER ATTEMPTED BY SOMEONE NOT CLINICALLY RETARDED.

CG: I WILL DO THIS FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, JADE. TO SAY THANKS FOR EVERYTHING.

GG: i cant believe i fell for this

GG: it was just a setup to troll me some more

GG: why do you go to such lengths to troll me? i just dont understand it

CG: TRY TO BE CULTURALLY SENSITIVE

CG: TROLLING IS AN ACTIVITY THAT SHARES A NAME WITH MY ENTIRE SPECIES

CG: DO I GET ON YOUR CASE FOR ALL THE TERRIBLE HUMANNING YOU DO?

GG: thats ridiculous, humanning isnt a word

GG: and if it was, it would be a nicer thing to do than trolling!

GG: you know what i mean, stop pretending you dont

CG: TELL ME JADE

CG: WHY ARE YOU SUCH A RACIST?

GG: aaaaaaa that is something a troll would say!

CG: YES, EXACTLY.

CG: I AM A TROLL. IT SEEMS WE ARE ON THE SAME PAGE.

GG: i mean you are being patronizing and disingenuous to get a rise out of me

GG: and that is really really shitty!!!!!!

GG: i am so tired of it, and i am done talking to you forever

GG: bye karkat, it was awful knowing you!

CG: WAIT

CG: OK LOOK

CG: I SERIOUSLY, HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

CG: YOU SAY YOUR ROBOT BLEW UP, AND THAT WAS SOME SORT OF SIGNAL TO MESSAGE ME?

GG: yes

GG: as if my day needed another reason to get worse

CG: YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T CONTACT THE RIGHT ME.

GG: what does that mean!

CG: I MEAN FUTURE ME IS PROBABLY THE ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS.

CG: SINCE IT'S ALL NEWS TO ME.

GG: is this another prank

GG: you are seriously the worst at pranks

CG: I DON'T PLAY PRANKS, THAT'S JUVENILE NONSENSE.

CG: I DO TWO THINGS AND TWO THINGS ONLY, I DEVASTATE SORRY MOTHERFUCKERS, AND GET SHIT DONE AS AN AWESOME LEADER.

CG: IN THIS CASE, I AM ACCOMPLISHING THE LATTER.

CG: HERE, CLICK THIS AND WE WILL SOLVE THE MYSTERY TOGETHER.

CG:

GG: :|

[slashingdisneypasta]

Total Drama Villains x Reader || Drabble Set

Plot: You forget to take a towel to the shower and only realise after the shower, so you open the window to stick your head out and ask whoever's out there (Hoping someone is out there) to grab you one but to your chagrin- there's just a villain.

Includes: Chris, Heather, Mal and Scott.

Warnings: Mmmm, I dont think so. Swearing? A kiss?

~~~

All:

You slowly look around the room, very very aware of the fact that you're naked and cold in a room that does not have a great lock on it. "Ohhhhhh no." The words come out low and steady... but are just brimming with panic.

No. Towel.

No towel!!

Finally you gasp, covering the bottom half of your face with your hands and looking at the benches and the sinks in dread. You accidentally came in here without a towel!!

The sudden sound of footsteps out the back of the cabin rips a gasp from your throat and you lunge at the window, unlatching the lock and opening it to see who it is. Before you even stick your head out, you're calling for whoever it to stop. Please. Hold on! I need your help!

Chris McLean:

*You are an adult camper.

When you actually see who's standing out there, you groan. Chris McLean stands outside on the grass, hands in his pockets and an intrigued look in his eyes. He know's he's about to be amused, or he's going to amuse himself depending on what kind of trouble you're in- or what kind of help you apparently need.

"What's up?~"

"Nevermind."

"Oh no no no! Come on, you can confide in Uncle Chris, cant you?"

A whine tumbles out of you. Uncle Chris?? Grooooooooss. He see's and acknowledges your disgusted reaction to him calling himself that, but just giggles. He doesn't leave, to your utter annoyance.

What other choice do you have?? Rolling your eyes, you look down at your feet instead of meeting his beady eyes and wiggle your toes. And mutter suuuuper quietly, half hoping he doesn't hear you. "I forgot to bring a towel... and I really need one... " And, this part you say especially quietly. For seriously asking Chris fucking McLean for a hand would be akin to letting your dignity pack its bags and fly the coop. "... and would you please get one for me... "

"... Sorry, I didn't catch that. What didja say?"

Oh god. A little louder, you say shortly. "... I forgot a towel... "

Chris smirks at that, rolling back on the feels of his feet. "And? What would you like from me, Y/N?"

Finally too frustrated to keep playing this stupid game with the show's host, you snap your eyes up to his and cross your arms. "Fine! Damnit. Get me a towel, please."

Immediately, a cat like grin slowly spreads across Chris' face. Its the most evil thing you have ever seen.

"Now why would I do that when I could get Chef here to send in a buncha rabid bats with you and flush you out?" Christ teases - no, threatens. But then again, does he know the difference in the first place? - , that famous, alabaster white, terror instilling grin on his face as usual. "Now that's, good TV!"

You groan, head falling back on your neck, in frustration. "Chrr-ris!!"

"Ha ha! Well? What do you expect?" You cant argue with that, but you cans till groan again. "Okay, fine. I'll get you a towel! But what will you do for me, heh? Nothing comes for free."

"Oh, don't I know it. I've been on this show for 3 seasons now." For some reason.

"Heh heh."

"Fine, I'll... " Ugh, something for Chris... You blow air out of your cheeks slowly, in thought. What would Chris like? Well, he'd sure get kick out of you getting one of your friends hurt but that's sure as hell not happening. Finally, after a few moments, you get an idea. And scowl. "I'll be sure to drum up some drama for you. Good TV, right?"

"For sure! Promise?~"

Sighing, you lean tiredly on the window sill. "Oh, I cross my heart and hope to die." You promise him like he's a child, which he basically is. Chris McLean has got the maturity level and the intelligence package of a 7 year old on crack.

"Wicked! Heh heh, this'll be good. Okay, hang tight. I'll be back."

You smirk at his retreating back.

~

When he finally gets back and hands you a towel - a much nicer towel then what you and the other campers have been using. Which is nice? But also, you cant help but worry about what kind of strings might be attached to it, - through a crack in the door, you carefully wrap it around your body and tightly tuck it in.

"I'll want that towel back" He snaps, cranky. Why?? He could've just gone and gotten you your towel! "I imported that from Fiji!"

Of course he did.

Now you take a deeeeeeep breath, gathering all your courage, and killing the butterflies reeking havoc in your stomach. Then open the door again and grab hold of the front of Chris' signature teal shirt and wrench him close before he can walk too far off.

And you smash your lips together and slam your eyes tightly closed.

When you pull back from the kiss - a horrible, unpleasant, bad kiss, - you immediately wipe your mouth with your arm and let him go. But when you reveal your mouth again, you're for damn sure smirking at the stunned man. "Is that dramatic enough for you, Chris? A camper and the host? Scandalous- I bet we'll be front page news."

Then quickly you lock yourself inside the bathroom again, not really caring for his reaction- which only comes, finally, minutes later when you're half way dressed.

"DAMN IT Y/N!!"

Heather:

"Hm." Heather crosses her arms, an evil smirk on her lips- opportunity has knocked on her door. Or, the inside of the shower cabin. "You need something from me. Well! What will you do for me return? Hm?"

As expected. "I will vote for whoever you want me to at 2 different instances of your choice going forward. Except for myself, I wont vote myself out."

She thinks for a moment, but definitely looks pleased. "Three, different instances of my choice."

Fucks sake- "Fine! Just- please! I'm getting cold and one of the boys could come in here at any time and see me butt ass naked!!"

Uncrossing her arms and setting her hands on her hips instead, Heather laughs. "Oh- one of these boys? Shower? Haha. Have you smelled them??"

You blush darkly at her joking with you; At your worry but not your expense, before shaking your head of silly feelings and usher the pretty girl Heather, forward. "Go! Go! Get my towel already."

"Be right back." She rolls her eyes, heading off.

~

When she gets back, she reaches up to the window with the towel and you gratefully take it, beginning to dry off any drips from your body and get dressed as quickly as possible. "Thank you Heather!!"

"Mhm, yeah. Sure."

A few minutes later when you leave the door, Heather's waiting for you on the porch and you basically have a small stroke- jesus christ, why is she there!? STILL!?

"Oh, relax. I'm just cashing in some of your part of the bargain." She sneers, walking closer to you and pressing a sharp fingernail into your chest. "Dont forget, you owe me now."

"I remember Heather, we did this like 10 minutes ago."

"Good." She smiles, a tint of evil to it still. Pleasantly surprised that you're being so obedient. She leans back. "Okay, so Gwen's got to go. You got that? She's out. Vote for her and you're third done with your debt to me."

"Yes ma'am." You smirk, brushing by her and stalking off back to your cabin to put away your things.

Heather watches, hands on her hips and her own smirk on her lips. You might just be useful out of this bunch of losers. Not quite a diamond in the rough, but... better, at least. For sure. "Hm."

Mal:

"Oh- Mike!" You exclaim excitedly as soon as you see the lanky, dark haired boy. What luck!!

But then he slowly turns around; A dark, sinister grin on his face and hair over one eye. And your heart immediately drops.

This is not Mike. Neither is it Chester, Svetlana, Vito or Manitoba- any of which would have been just fine alternatives for this moment.

This has to be fucking Mal. You've met him before, and absolutely nevermind on the luck front.

"Nope." Yep- the grizzly, deep voice that responds to you can belong to no one other then Mike's chaotic evil alter. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. You continue to chant curses in your head as he turns around fully and comes forward, looking up with evil glinting in his eyes at you like a twisted Flynn Rider to your Rapunzel.

The kind that makes you rather stay inside your tower- its safer here then out there with him. You don't go out to meet the rabid pit bull!!

"Ummm, nevermind! Go about your business, I'm fine here. See ya!"

"Oh no. What'd you want from little Mikey?" He asks, crossing his arms and tilting his head to the side, cruelly inquisitive. You chew on your bottom lip. Damn it; You've peaked his interest. Fuck.

"Um... " The sound comes out quiet and insure as you look down at the grass before his feet instead of his face. You're so nervous. "Well, I... I forgot my towel before I took my shower, and uh... I was just gonna ask him if he could go get me one."

For a moment, he's silent. Your gaze flickers up to his face to see an utterly wolfish look on his face, eyes gleaming with mischief before averting your eyes again to the grass.

Then a loud puff of hard, unpleasant laughter escapes him. He doubles over, holding his stomach as he guffaws at your embarrassing situation. You roll your eyes and cross your arms.

"Oh shut up," You snap, bravely- making him cut off his laughter immediately and look at you. You dare to fucking talk to him like that? "Come on, go get me a towel, please!! I'll owe you one."

After a moment, he stands up straight again and crosses his arms. Yes, he could do something horrible to you right now to teach you not to talk back to him; but it looks like you're going to struggle without his help. All he has to do is watch! "Hmm, nope!"

"Come on!"

"Not gonna happen."

"Ugh." You groan, leaving the window and Mal and plopping down on a bench. Fucking bastard.

This is so awkward. Especially since you know he's still out there!! And he could send someone in at any time.

... Minutes later, and you're still dripping wet but now freezing fricken cold, a towel is flung in through the still open window and lands on the wet floor near your feet. Your eyebrows fly up your forehead, as you look from it in surprise and to the window.

Mal's voice calls through it. "There! Its no fun if you just sit and bear your punishment." Huff. You can just imagine the cute boy - the look works for Mike, but is just very odd on Mal, - crossing his arms and setting his jaw, or even pouting. His voice just sound sooo frustrated. "I'll get you another time, anyway. Everyone will go down, eventually."

"Oh... mhm, oh sure." I mean, I can at least listen to his evil babble since he got me a towel, you think as you start drying yourself down and getting dressed.

A moment after you've got your shirt on, the door is kicked open and Mal stands on the threshold, making you jump. "Jesus christ!- "

"Kiss thank you?"

"Get outta here!" Absolutely not!

Scott:

Peering out from the window, you nearly miss the boy leant up against the cabin beneath you, in fact you would have- if it weren't for his bright orange hair. You gasp, unintentionally getting his attention and smiling brightly when he looks up to find you. "Scott!"

A confused, yet somehow still evil expression paints his face. "Y/N?? What are you doing?"

"Well farm-boy, how do you feel about giving a lady a hand??"

Scott snorts, getting off the wall and stepping back to see you properly. "Lady? I don't see any lady here."

Oh- Bastard. You look back into the bathroom before disappearing from the window for a moment before returning, and promptly clobbering him with an empty shampoo bottle. "You see her now!?"

"Ugh... yeah." He grumbles more malleably now, much more open to suggestion as he rubs his forehead. "Sure, now I see her... ow."

Now you feel a little bad. He looks so pitiful when he's in pain... and yes he's a rat but... its still not okay to hurt someone. You aren't Chris. And also you're getting colder and colder as the water drips unimpeded down your skin and maybe its making you soft. "Ohh... okay, I'm sorry."

He glances up at you, surprised at your apology. "Ahh, no problem, I guess... " Did someone just apologise for whacking him on this show? He crosses his arms, raising a curious look to your disembodied head. "Uhh, what'd you need a hand, with?"

"I... kinda... forgot a towel... could you please go get one for me??"

For a moment you watch his eyes narrow and a wicked grin flicker at the corners of his mouth and get anxious that he's going to ask for something in return- before he rolls his eyes and just shrugs, turning and heading off to the cabin. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Be right back- try not to gather too much attention, haha."

As he walks off, you duck under the window again, sighing in so much relief. "Thanks, Scott!"

~

When he returns, you're waiting at the door and crack it open just enough to get the towel from him immediately- which you quickly wrap around yourself comfortably and sigh. "Thank you so much!"

"Hm. No problem." He huffs, wondering why the hell he did this for you anyway and crossing his arms again.

From inside, you carefully ask: "Are you gonna get weird if I hug you now?"

Immediately Scott's ears go bright red and he quickly loses every little bit of cool-guy vibe from a moment ago. "I-In your towel?? N-No!! I mean- yes!" He rubs the back of his neck, looking away from the door like its you, or he'll accidentally spontaneously develop x-ray vision and damnit, he's a gentleman. "I mean... " Or at least he tries to be.

Grinning, because Scott's unexpectedly cute now that you've flustered him, you quickly open the door, hug him quick, then close the door again and shout 'BYE'.

[katsukikiss]

JEALOUSY

JEAN x F!READER // COLLEGE AU // MINORS DNI!

WARNINGS: NSFW 18+, cheating(ish?), oral m receiving, soft dom jean, face f*cking, suggestive dancing (w/connie and eren), alcohol use, reader is wayyy too flirty with others lol

Jean is a super kind and forgiving boyfriend, but what happens when you push his limits?

AN: idk wtf this is I just know I love this man and I had to write for him at some point, let me know if I should make a part two 😵‍💫

WC: 2.5k

Masterlist

The air was warm despite the sun being long gone. The summer was nearly over and classes would be starting up again soon. Obviously someone needed to throw one last hurrah before that, and your boyfriend and his friends were going to do just that. Jean was such a kind lover, and was a bit possesive in the beginning but now he was nothing but a sweetheart and kept saying how he couldn’t wait to dance with you later that night. You had known his friends for years, hanging out with them since you guys were freshmen and always staying in their shared house they had together. But their eyes would linger on you for too long, something your and your boyfriend had always noticed, but a sloppy tongue kiss or an ass grab would usually solve the issue. He trusted you, and trusted his friends for the most part…

They placed you in charge of getting drinks for the party since you always complained about the beverages they would offer. You and Sasha went together to buy some beer, seltzer and liquor. It wouldn’t be a party if there wasn’t snacks, or at least that was Sasha’s motto. You drove to one more store to pick up chips and pretzels before bringing your friend home and heading back to your boyfriends place.

You made your way up to Jeans room to finish getting ready. He was busy downstairs fixing up the basement with new LED lights since the old ones short circuited at the last party. You were probably too comfortable in his shared house, most of your clothes were here too. You undressed out of the t-shirt and shorts you were running errands in and sat on a chair in your bra and underwear. Music blasting, half naked, sitting in front of your boyfriends mirror applying makeup, you had no care in the world. You couldn’t hear the belligerent knocking on the door so they entered.

“CONNIE! GET THE FUCK OUT!” you squealed at the man who had just entered, instinctively throwing your arms over your chest, leaving your legs and panties exposed.

“MAYBE TURN YOUR MUSIC DOWN AND I WOULDN’T HAVE BURSTED IN LIKE THIS” he yelled back at you, laughing at your flimsy attempt to cover yourself. You fumbled with the volume buttons on your phone before looking back at him.

“Can I help you?” you questioned, giving him the faintest tint of attitude.

“Nah, Jean asked me to grab some wire for the speakers, but I might stick around a little longer” he said with a sly smirk. Connie was never afraid to openly flirt with you, even in front of Jean, and it didn’t bother the two of you much, you knew it was all in good fun so sometimes you’d tease him back.

“Oh yeah?” you mused, removing your hands from your chest. “I dont think you’d last very long in here” His face turned bright red, as it always did when youd pretend to be interested in him. Before he could even answer Jean was barging into the room and instantly stood in between you two to cover your body from his friend.

“Find the wire?” Jean asked plainly. Connie nodded and swiftly made his way downstairs to finish setting up. Jean pressed a hand onto his door to close it before turning around to face you with a disapproving look.

“You know youre mine right? I dont need Connie doing something dumb later because you were teasing him” he growled at you. You looked up with innocent eyes and rutted your lower lip out. Your pouty face and adorable eyes made it hard for him to seriously be mad at you.

“Im sorry baby you know I was just messing around”

“Yeah yeah I know” he said, placing a soft kiss on your forehead, “hurry up though okay? People are gonna be here soon and I dont need more people seeing you like this”. You gave him a confirming nod and proceeded to finish applying your makeup, this time with the music playing a bit lower than before.

“To senior year!” Eren chanted and everyone repeated back ��to senior year!” before you all downed shots of various liquors in the crammed kitchen. Jeans hand rested on your hip in a show of dominance. You were earning looks from his friends as well as some other senior guys you didn’t know. A tiny black dress was fitted to your figure, leaving very little to the imagination with the way it accentuated your curves.

“Y/N! Come dance with MEE” Sasha called out to you. You looked up at your boyfriend who nodded with a smile. He removed his hands from your body and watched you skip away to follow your friend down into the basement. He watched as a few others proceeded to make their way downstairs as well, as if they were following you.

The temperature of the basement was at least 5x hotter than the rest of the house because of all the bodies crammed into it. You were pretty drunk already, which is why the heat didn’t bother you or anyone else that much. Sasha pulled you through a sea of people to the back wall of the basement. The led lights outlined the ceiling with a purple glow that made it hard to see. You leaned onto the concrete for support because your head was spinning a bit after being bumped and pushed around while music was blaring. Your eyes attempted to refocus as you looked around for your friend.

“Stay here!!!! I will be right BACK okay?” she slurred. You lazily nodded as you watched the girl who brought you to this cave of a basement leave you alone. You scanned the dimly lit room for someone you knew, stumbling through the hoard. Two hands snaked their way onto your hips without you even noticing until your ass was aggressively pulled up against someones crotch. They forcibly swayed your hips in line with their own to the rhythm of the music. Your body stopped resisting and started to move on its own, the strangers hands no longer guiding you but rather holding on for the ride.

“Your ass feels so fuckin nice y/n” a familiar voice gruffed in your ear. You recognized it as Eren; Your body halted for a moment as you thought of your boyfriend, but he wouldn’t be mad at you right? It was all harmless fun, he was the only one that got to really have you at the end of the day. The alcohol in your system drowned out those thoughts as you bent over and shook your ass against him, his hips rutting forward to feel every little movement you were making while his hands dug into you. You heard him whisper ‘fuck’ a few times when you would throw your ass back into his groin.

When you snapped back up you felt a new pair of hands on you. The man behind you now had more rhythm in his actions, grinding his hips against you to the beat of the pop song that you could barely hear anymore. You turned your head slightly to see Connie, his eyes fixated on your gyrating curves while the rest of the men were watching. You laughed internally, faintly recalling what happened between you two earlier.

“I was waiting for my turn sexy” he whispered in your ear, his hot drunk breath making your neck feel sticky. You wrapped your arm back and hooked it around his neck while slithering up and down his body. Your vision was blurry and your head was all over the place. You could feel his bulge growing with every twist and turn you made. His hands made their way up your sides to the front of your body and onto your breasts, squeezing entirely too hard. You pulled yourself off of him instantly upon feeling his intrusive hands on your chest, it was as if the feeling snapped you out of the drunken haze you were in. You turned around to scowl at him, backing up a foot or two before you bumped into someones chest. Connies eyes left yours and looked up to the person behind you with a shred of fear. Turning to look up, you found relief in knowing it was your boyfriend. Your arms wrapped around Jean and pulled him in tightly. One hand of his rested on the top of your head but he never stopped looking at his group of friends.

“Had fun?” he growled at them. Eren walked away, annoyed that their fun was ruined. Connie hesitantly backed up before attempting to apologize over the noise. He left and made his way upstairs, fearing that if he stayed any longer Jean would really hurt him.

“What was that about?” he snapped at you. While he didn’t care if they tried to flirt with you, actually putting their hands on you was too far for him. You backed off of his chest before speaking.

“I didn’t think you’d be mad baby I’m sorryyyy, but don’t you wanna dance with mee?” you slurred. He didn’t have his usual soft expression this time and your adorable looks didn’t have any effect on him anymore.

“Not anymore, you’re coming with me” he demanded. His low tone made you weak, you knew what was coming next when he spoke to you like that. He latched onto your wrist and pulled you up the stairs, through the kitchen, pass Eren who gave you a wicked smile and wink, as if knowing exactly what was about to happen. You made your way up to his room, he scooped you up into his arms and threw you onto the bed and stood at the foot.

“I said I was sorry” you pleaded, desperation in your voice and eyes. He liked when you would beg for mercy like this, you wanted what was coming next but pretending like you didn’t was so much more fun.

“Oh I know baby, but sorry isn’t gonna cut it tonight” he hummed. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and began crawling on top of you like a lion about to devour its prey. You felt so small underneath him and his presence. You could feel the heat from his breath on your neck as he leaned closer, and he could feel the heat between your legs as you pushed your hips forward. You were waiting to feel his mouth on your neck but he pulled away and got up from the bed, your face was visibly upset.

“You know I like to make you feel good sweetheart, but I don’t think you deserve that tonight, not after what you’ve done” he said, unbuckling the belt encasing his hips. He slipped it off and let his pants fall to the floor and signaled with a finger for you to come closer. You crawled across the bed and tugged at his boxers he still had on. He lowered them a bit and allowed his long thick cock to spring out onto your lips.

You gathered saliva and spit onto him, massaging it around with your hands. You kissed the tip a few times, giving it sweet little licks before wrapping your lips around and taking him in, your behind in the air while you descended onto his cock. His hands massaged at your legs as your head bobbed in an attempt to please your man and receive his forgiveness. He pulled you off his cock by your hair and flipped you over so your back was against the bed and your head was hanging off the side. He bent down to your ear and spoke.

“I think I deserve to fuck this pretty mouth of yours, especially since you were being such a slut tonight” he whispered. You nodded, a mix of concern and kexcitement on your face; he NEVER called you names like that before, but something about it was making you feel hot; you didn’t want it to end. He stood back up, your mouth hanging open waiting for him to use. Slowly, he pushed himself in, watching you struggle and gag from the sheer depths he was reaching in that position. He wrapped two hands around your neck and began to thrust ferociously, causing several tears to fall down your cheeks. His cock was pounding into your throat that could barely accommodate.

“Your my fuckin slut, you got that?” he growled at you, his voice shaky. You tried to reply but only gurgles came out. You loved this new side of Jean you were seeing, and wondered what else you could do to get him to treat you like this again. He could feel himself in that little throat of yours against his hands, and with every thrust he could see the bulge he was creating and it drove him wild. A sweet mixture of your gagging and his mumbles and groans filled the small room. His resolve was gone as his cock began to twitch, spewing his warm white seed down your throat. He had never came in your mouth before so you were surprised when he did, you felt so full with his cock and stuffed down your throat. He dragged himself out, a string of your saliva and his seed connecting you two to eachother before snapping apart.

“Open up sweetheart, I wanna see it” he said, looking at you upside down. You opened and allowed your tongue to hang out, exposing all of the sticky white fluid coating your mouth. He admired it all for a minute before he teasingly squeezed your cheeks together and stood up.

“You can swallow now” You gulped it down and coughed a bit, your throat sore from the abuse it just endured. Jean walked over to the bathroom and filled a glass with water and grabbed you a t-shirt. He sat down on the bed beside you, you stripped yourself of the little black dress you had on and slipped into the t-shirt.

“C’mere” he pulled you by the waist into his lap, “you know I love you right? I’m sorry if I was too rough” You nodded no, and nuzzled your face into his chest, his fingers drawing little circles on your back.

“I love you too Jean” you cooed. He was always so forgiving with you, never staying mad for too long, never going too far.

“How about we make a little more noise hm? Let my boys know who you really belong to” he suggested, a primal look in his eyes. Your legs quivered at the thought of Jean making you scream, and all of his friends getting hard just listening.

“Do it, make me scream” you whispered. In one swift motion he flipped you over onto your back and grabbed your face by the jaw, towering over you again like his prey.

“Im gonna make you regret that”

[thundergrace]

I dont think the majority of legends fans love the show because of a ship but because of the group dynamics, found family, and it's a superhero show that's not grimdark. It's a show that makes you love something about all its characters and doesn't take itself too serious.

Yeah it's wicked fun!!!!

I genuinely meant that I don't know if it's "good" lol I don't know how to even appraise that show but I would still say, I put a lot of stock in storytelling and Legends is so messy. I know it's pretty much intentional but still...

Now I mentioned Sara and Ava because this is tumblr and people will cape for the most piece of shit show of they feel like their queer pairing is getting what it deserves lol so I'm like okay just in case you're just saying this because of them.... just think about it, if you reach the same conclusion, then dope!

I love Legends, though. For all of those reasons.

[hello-yue-here]

The Great Comet is my favorite musical ever D:::: so great to see anyone talk about it ever haha. But I wanna hear you talk about the sokkla and wicked song! also the zutara one is spot on

great comet is LITERALLY tied for my fav musical (les mis is the other it was the first show i ever saw and it was amazing and enjfoaiend so many feelings for that musical)

i am SO GLAD you asked ab sokkla and wicked because that along with the yuekka great comet no one else song is what inspired me to make that list

so without further ado: sokkla: as long as your mine

one of the big things with sokkla as a ship is that most of the fics i read and most of the art i see if that many sokkla fans and artists rlly play into the whole forbidden romance theme; moreso than any other fm swt pairing in the series (ie zutara zukka azutara u get the gist)

and this song is ALL ABOUT THE FORBIDDEN ROMANCE

you see: fiyero in wicked is a carefree guy who plays up his charm and plays dumb a lot when in actuality i think hes a very smart character. i know sokka doesnt pretend to act dumb and thats a difference between him n fiyero: but the fact that theyre both pretty smart strategic characters is why i associate them with eachother

azula as elphaba?? HANDS DOWN AMAZING. elphaba is an outsider. she isnt liked by many people. she is very thoughtful and precise with her actions and has shown she can be cunning and manipulative when she needs to be. sound familiar? consider a post-redemption arc azula for this role. just just think of it.

now onto the lyrics:

"i need help believing your with me tonight / my wildest dreamings could not foresee / lying here beside you / with you wanting me"

elphaba in this moment cant rlly believe that the fact that she is with fiyero is reality. azula has been seen in the finale of atla to struggle in terms of reality and people wanting her (ie her mother saying she loves her and azula not believing it because it isnt real) i know this is a bit of a stretch because elphaba isnt hallucinating and has never been known to do so, but azula and elphaba definitely both have issues with people genuinely loving them and wanting them.

"maybe im brainless / maybe im wise"

LJGFJHGF my favorite hc that i have for sokkla is that while they are the two smartest characters in all of atla: they become dumb when it comes to each other. thats personally a hc i have for this ship and this line just supports that wholeheartedly. Sokka becomes a lovesick idiot when it comes to azula and he knows this. so is he dumb for acting like an idiot around her? or is he smart for loving her anyways. (both. its both.) also just the symbolism and implications of sokka saying this line when we all know hes a genius but in the show hes seen as insecure in his abilities and strengths just.... wow. this line is so sokka it makes me lakshfgwky

"say there's no future for us as a pair" "just for this moment / as long as your mine"

this is less to do with the ship itself but moreso with the fandom ab the ship. lots of people dont like this ship (and thats fine! not every ship is for everyone) and they think that it wouldnt work out and while i personally disagree i think this line is good for pointing that out. because ppl think it would never work and that its doomed and maybe since sokka and azula are both geniuses they recognize that their relationship may look that way to other people too. they arent dumb. theyd know how people would look at them as a couple and theyd realize that hey maybe this wont work, but i dont care because right now im with you anyways: sokkla core

and finally, the most iconic line in this entire show, literally where the title comes from

"for the first time, im feeling, wicked"

im sorry but azula would def say something like this. ugh i have so many emotions about this show and this ship and i love this musical and i rlly love this ship. wicked sokkla au anyone? goddammit im adding it to my list of fic ideas rn. sokkla wicked au is something i desperately need right now. zuko nessarose? suki glinda? morally grey aang wizard?? somehow katara fits into this?? idk i became inspired by writing this post to actually think about a sokkla wicked au. ill get back to this one day. maybe. idk. yeah.

ALSO YES FIRST DATE/LAST NIGHT IS SO ZUTARA

like the vibes???

bad first impressions, he made her cry because he was an ass, she gave him a second chance, extremelt awkward first date??? TELL ME that isnt how a zutara relationship would start. tell me. i dare you. also this fucking song is just so cute and well written and beautiful and yeah. first date/last night is fucking zutara to a T

thank you for indulging my theatre kid atla rambles :)))

ask me about why i think these songs go with these ships :)

[shhh-no-ones-home]

fire flies vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++ fic three hundred!!! thank you guys for getting me here. i know without a lot of you guys i wouldnt have gotten this far. but i love what i do and i cant thank you all enough. so to celebrate, here is one v cheesy and v flirty vinny fic <3

Prompts: "Am I your lockscreen?" "You weren't supposed to see that." "Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?" "Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

Song: drugstore perfume by gerard way

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee @joeynihil @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @xyours-eternallyx +++++++++

i inhaled deeply as i stepped outside, rubbing my arms with my hands as i made my way across the porch to where the guys were sitting.

"why is it so damn cold."

i complained, trying to pull my jacket a little tighter as i sat on the log next to vinny. he laughed a little at me as i showed my hands to the fire in the center of us all.

"why dont you put on a thicker jacket."

he tormented and i sent him a look.

"if i had one, vincenzo, it would be on already."

i said a little condescendingly and he sent me a look.

"rick, you still got my hoodie?"

he asked and i looked between the two of them, rick nodding slowly after he thought for a second.

"guess ill be right back."

he said and i watched with doe-like eyes as he disappeared inside. i frowned, leaning forward a little more to try and feel the fires warmth. when i heard the sliding glass door open again i looked to him and smiled, the thick bulls hoodie resting in his fist.

"for me?"

i asked and he laughed.

"whats the magic word?"

he said and i frowned.

"please?"

i asked and he shook his head.

"nope."

i sent him a look.

"come on vin, sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!"

i said, feeling a shiver run through my body. he laughed a little before handing it over and sitting back down beside me.

"thanks."

i said contently, ripping my paper thin jacket off and hearing my phone clatter to the concrete. i rolled my eyes at it as i pulled the hoodie over my head, placing my other jacket on top of my legs like a blanket.

"i think you dropped this."

he said amused, reaching down to pick it up. he went to hand it to me sensor first and i unlocked it as i took it from him, my eyes going wide. i looked up at him and he smirked at me.

"y/n, am i your lock screen?"

he asked and i let out a nervous laugh.

"you werent supposed to see that."

i admitted and he scooted closer to me, draping his arm over my shoulder. when i looked at him confused i saw the biggest shit eating grin spread across his face.

"so, its like that is it?"

he asked and i sent him a look.

"what are you up to?"

i asked skeptically and he shrugged.

"i dont know what youre talking about."

he said and i shook my head, tucking my phone in the hoodies pocket and looking back to the fire.

"sure you dont vin.

i said playfully annoyed and he leaned back.

"what? am i not allowed to enjoy your company a little more now? you are wearing my hoodie after all."

he said and i laughed a little, looking to him. he was staring down at me with a dreamy look on his face and i got an idea. if it was gonna be like that i was gonna play. i leaned in close and his gaze dropped to my lips for a second.

"well vin, if you have a better way to warm me up then id love to hear it."

i tempted and he swallowed hard.

"ive got a few ideas."

he said and i reached up to stroke his jaw lightly.

"yeah?"

i asked lowly and he nodded.

"yeah."

he said, leaning in, his eyes half closed. before he could kiss me i turned forward and stood up, looking back down at him as he fell forward into the log i was sitting on. he frowned and i laughed.

"you want a drink lover boy?"

i asked and he grumbled, sitting back up and brushing his clothes back down into place.

"you actually."

i heard him mumble under his breath before he looked up at me and i smirked at him.

"best i can do for now is sprite."

i said and his eyes went wide, realizing i had heard what he had said. he choked for a second and i raised my brows.

"careful vin, i dont need you dying on us."

rick said, his attention being taken from the conversation. i looked to vin with a wicked smirk before patting his shoulder.

"ill go get that sprite."

i said slyly, walking around him as he nodded. when i walked inside i waved to ryan, him popping the tab off a beer.

"dont kill him."

he said and i sent him an innocent look.

"what ever do you  mean?"

i asked, digging into the fridge. he smiled at me as he shook his head, taking a swig of the beer.

"you know teasing isnt nice."

he pointed out and i shrugged, walking with him to the door.

"who said i wasnt gonna follow through?"

i asked as he let me outside first. he raised his bottle to me before going to the side of the patio where aj and shane were. i shook my head, climbing over the log and handing vin the can of sprite.

"thanks."

he said bashfully, popping the tab open and taking a drink.

"dont mention it, gotta keep you hydrated if you wanna keep up with me later."

i said and he snorted, sprite leaking from his mouth and nose as he leaned forward.

"woman."

he groaned and i laughed, taking a drink of my own soda.

"who me?"

i asked and he shook his head, wiping his face off on his sleeve. he thought for a second before looking at me and leaning in, his hand resting on the log behind me.

"vin?"

i asked lowly and he winked at me.

"Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?"

he asked and i fell into a fit of laughter.

"that is so cheesy."

i said and he rolled his eyes, scolding himself at the fact that it didnt work. he sat forward, pouting a little bit and i pulled him by the chin to look at me. i shook my head at him and he leaned in.

"just kiss me already."

i said and he let out a short laugh, reaching up and cupping my cheek in his hand.

"yes maam."

[theunconcernedembalmer]

ok i got the aesvic out of my system now time to pick apart the letter n why i wont really be following aesops diary exactly here. literally no one asked but i wanted to get my thoughts down somewhere cos i have. a lot

just gonna put a quick rundown of aesops diary entry as a refresher (mostly for myself so i dont miss anything): he dreamt that he was helping jerry with what was probably a murder n was affirmed n he thinks its a sign congratulating him on carrying out his duty. over the years, he carries out his duties as an undertaker n comes to the manor looking for a “fresh start” aka what sounds like his first victim. according to aesop, said victim should be quiet, n potential victim number 1 is victor. something about badly needing him to become his “silent friend” n he mentions he’ll get to wick n the 2 other survivors in due time, but for now he’s very eager to start his “mission”.

im generally okay with the letter (i have seen so many fights over this aha) cos there is no surprise he wants to kill ppl (ppl who r fighting over this point. did u even read his deductions?? guy happily killed his mentor??). but i didnt quite like the fact that he still looks up to jerry (although. i guess thats valid i just. dont like it). i was also initially kind of confused about the real reason why he would want to kill ppl since as u progress through the letter it sounds less like he kills for duty (cos of the whole dream thing at the start) but more “because i want to :)”, which is an okayish edgy kinda take imo. like not that u cant characterize aesop as Kill Kill Murder Die, but i kinda find that. pretty boring in the long term.

im just gonna put what my original take on aesop was, like all of it. first off, he hates jerry. u cannot tell me a psychotic serial killer like that can raise a child without emotional trauma. like any child, this isnt even counting the extra damage done because hes autistic. (n i also hc that aesop has read his moms letter to him at some point, n he should have come to the conclusion that it was somewhat also jerrys fault, whether through logic or denial that his mom would want to leave him, so that just adds to it.) but as much as he hates him, his teachings are the only ones hes been exposed to, n its been so ingrained in him since young so even if he hates jerry he would still subscribe to whatever twisted ideology jerry was feeding him, which ill get to in a sec.

going through his accessories, he has that origami that he folds for each of his clients, n it shows that underneath it all, aesop is still kind. this isnt expected of him n its definitely not part of his job scope as an embalmer. he (still?) has the heart to wish the best for those that have departed n takes the time n effort to fold one for each n every client he sends off, which is probably a lot. so going off on that, my hc is that jerry, being the manipulative asshole that he is (who probably definitely manipulated his mom into indirect suicide) probably used his kindness against him to make him believe that by murdering ppl he is helping them, framing all of his serial kills as a sort of mercy kill (like his mom). so the thing that aesop takes away from all this is the very twisted logic that by killing ppl he is helping them, therefore being a good embalmer and a good person in general. n everyone wants to be a sort of good person, or at least for aesop that is part of his job description to be a good embalmer. n we all know aesop is very serious about his job.

i also hc that he has killed several ppl between killing jerry n coming to the manor, cos i follow the story that he took the invitation from that poor lady n thats how he ended up at the manor. surely the lady didnt come to him right after jerry died?? but anyway, the way i see it is that he thought he liked to kill. like he finally truly understood why jerry kills so much (which is interesting now that i think about it. guy really just went along with all those murders without truly believing huh), because it felt good to kill. at least thats what he thought, the revelation that killing felt good n is good, but i say its because he hated jerry, n offing someone u kinda hate should probably feel pretty gucci. n its also so much easier to pick clients off the streets than in the manor, so i would think that he has killed ppl like his mentor did, but each time he did the great feeling that came with ending ppls life just. wasnt as good as the first time round. it just became a sort of normal satisfaction of a successful embalming.

this can go two ways: 1. he keeps on killing to try to find that great feeling again, which is cool i guess (n probably what canon would want, except canon states that he hasnt killed since jerry), but id like to go with 2. he just stops because jerry isnt around to enforce it whenever he isnt feeling up to psychoing someone to their death (which is probably how jerry got his victims, n damn if that doesnt take a lot of mind games that i dont think aesop has the mental capacity for since half of it is fighting with his social anxiety n other issues. dealing with alive strangers?? no thanks?? i doubt he would have learnt properly how to lure in clients as efficiently as jerry because of this, mostly cos he was only needed for the murder afterparty aka embalming n funerals). n as much as he stays professional, there is no. professional way of gaslighting someone to their death.

(n also since ppl have pointed out that his twitter replies n other kinda informal stuff have shown that aesop does have reverent respect for life, which also adds to him not being so blindly bloodthirsty as implied in the letter. i dont really see the twitter replies as very canon, but it does make sense that he would come to revere life with his unique take and obsession over death, for one cannot exist without the other)

so this leads me to the motive that aesop brings to the manor, at least how i see it. he isnt exactly coming to the manor to kill per se (like from the very early story, he came to the manor to return the letter to a relative of the deceased lady, something about respecting her last wishes. something like that, its really been a while since i saw that exerpt), so like killing ppl isnt his main purpose of visit. its more of hes always on the lookout for weaker (or at least those that take less mind games to kill) people to mercy kill, n it just so happens that he knows the manor n his mentor almost died from there, so theres a pretty good chance he can find some ppl that fall into this category n so it just so happens that he also has a job to do there. its still counted as a Job for him since no ones gonna tell him that embalmers dont actually. murder. 

so in my version, aesop only tries to sway ppl that he knows he can convince, n these ppl would typically be those very sickly ones like his mom (andrew im looking at u) or those with an actual death wish/ very weak will to live. but here aesop is choosing his “first victim”, and the criteria for that is... quiet? never mind “not evading him” and “not cranky” being on the list too, but that isnt quite what i was expecting from someone so dedicated to their duty of murder. sure he wants an easy first kill, but like. i dont think its consistent if his motive was really to continue jerrys bastard legacy. especially when the next paragraph is essentially him gushing over victor, that... sort of implies something else. or at least in the way i see it, since i believe that canon wants us to think that aesop just really loves to kill.

aesop likes victor. very much so. so much till he wants to kill him. which i guess makes sense cos he likes death, n now he likes victor. so he just. puts the two things he likes together. whats better than victor? dead victor. anyway the rest of the letter is more like “whatever, i technically should kill the others too but my priority is victor” so like. he confuses his (dare i say) yandere tendencies with his duty since the end goal for both is a body in a coffin.

having said that. i know i have aesvic brainrot but i also know this is one sided as hell (at least from the letter alone, not counting the letter shaped cookies in his birthday art that apparently belonged to victors birthday cake aha) n lowkey alarming since. the goal is to kill victor. i kinda want to interpret it as him genuinely wanting to be friends with victor (really wanting him to be a “silent friend”, maybe cos he doesnt actually know how to be friends with living ppl n is better with dead ones? therefore victor should be dead to be friends?) but not knowing how to n throwing in his obsession with death ends up with. this minor disaster waiting to happen. but i uh. dont know if this is valid. its valid to me at least, with my original interpretation of aesop. n again cos of his ingrained professionalism, he also kinda sees this as part of his job to send ppl off, so its another plus. not for victor, tho.

idk if ill add this yandere side in my aesop. i mean my boi has technically tried to kill victor multiple times in the past HAHAHAHA. maybe like sometimes he can be a bit obsessive. as a treat. but generally nah cos thats definitely gonna end up in a murder somewhere somehow n i cant. just kill victors here on the ask blog scene lashjflkjhdlfkjhas

so yeah that kinda takes care of the last part of the letter, as for the first part. as much as aesop hates jerry, i would also think hes pretty starved for affirmation (like i said jerry isnt going to be a good parent figure ever) n i guess it makes sense if the only times jerry has ever complimented him was aiding him in his kills n hiding the evidence, which might (?) add to his desire to kill (but that probably dies with jerry aha). so the way i see it as aesop is getting affirmation n takes it as a good sign instead of. remotely liking jerry. idk if im stretching it a little but i really dont like the take where hes okay with jerry. anyway we are ignoring that he hasnt killed before entering the manor cos that doesnt quite make sense to me (i wasnt dreaming about the letter from a lady stabbed in the face 36 times or so right???? right???????)

im also not like. trying to defend him, im just trying to make sense of his diary. boi has issues n is a little too far gone (not as far as canon tho), in my take very deluded in his way of showing kindness. literally cool motive still murder (or in canon, just murder?), please get therapy. but i just dont really like the direction that the letter was originally trying to imply, with him really just hell bent on murder without like. a clear motive (at least to me it isnt very clear since the last part really doesnt sound consistent with his supposed intentions). i mean i love being edgy with aesop every now n then but i dont think it would make for meaningful characterizations in the long run so. ill still be sticking with my original take on aesop with maybe a bit of yandere for victor cos thats always fun

[ghostsray]

danny grows baby fangs

truce gift for @phantomofprocrastination!! happy new decade :)

word count: 3,080

____

Being friends with a rival ghost has its pros and cons. The pros are that Danny can call on them whenever he needs help fighting a bigger, badder ghost. The cons are that this does nothing to stop his ally from attacking him whenever they like.

He was awoken in the dead of night (pun intended) by his ghost sense escaping his throat. He quickly transformed and flew outside, preparing to fight a ghost wreaking havoc. Instead, he was met by Johnny, who asked for a spar.

Danny sighed and ran a hand across his face. "Really? You couldn't have picked a better time for this?"

"Of course not!" Johnny delightfully replied. "All the humans are asleep, so you don't have to worry about hurting any of them."

That was...surprisingly thoughtful. Still didn't make it any less annoying. Danny fixed him with a glare and said, "Johnny. I'm half human. I also need to sleep."

The ghost's eyes widened, and his mouth formed a circle. "Oh."

Danny rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Can you go back to the GZ so I can get back to bed?"

Unfortunately, he already knew the answer he would receive when Johnny's face twisted into a wicked smirk. "But you're already here, aren't you? And I do have some energy I need to let out..."

"Dude, I swear..."

Danny didn't have time to finish his threat because the biker ghost was already sending his shadow to attack him. Inwardly, Danny groaned. Here he thought that he was making good progress this year in befriending his previous enemies, but it turns out they're too trained in Hating Danny On Sight to fully stop torturing him.

Danny blocked another swing from the shadow. He formed a ball of ectoplasm in his hands and used its light to fend the phantom off. As he watched it retreat, he bared his teeth at Johnny with a growl, trying to convey clearly that he wasn't happy.

For some reason, Johnny had the opposite reaction. He held up a hand to hold his shadow back and stared at Danny. "Wait, do that again," he said.

Danny frowned, confused. "Do what?"

"Bare your teeth."

Danny was Hella Confused, but he did as he was asked. Johnny clapped his hands and laughed.

"You're growing baby fangs!"

"...What."

The older ghost got closer until he was floating right in front of Danny's face. He pointed at the halfa's mouth, and his face adopted the kind of expression Jazz would make if she saw a baby animal. "Right there," the ghost said with a smile, "the cutest, widdwest baby fa--"

All of a sudden, a light enveloped Johnny, and he looked down to see the halfa sucking him into a Fenton thermos. "Hey! Not fair!" he whined, his voice shrinking as he went in.

"Sorry, but you deserved it," Danny spoke into the cylinder before he closed it.

He sunk from his spot in the air until his boots touched the ground. As soon as he did, he thought about what Johnny said. Now that he noticed, his gums were hurting. When he touched them with his tongue, he felt something sharp growing among his teeth. What did Johnny say? Fangs?

Danny looked at the building sitting across from his home. The lights indoors were all turned off, and the windows perfectly reflected the street and Danny on it. Danny let himself hover an inch off the ground and floated toward the glass. Once he got close enough, he studied his reflection.

Over the years, his ghost form had changed into something a bit more...ghostly. Before, the only parts of his appearance that changed were his eye and hair colors. Now, his hair became wispy, his skin grew tinted green, and even the freckles that had long ago faded from his human skin now literally glowed in ghost form.

Danny ignored these details. (He especially ignored how uncomfortable he felt seeing himself look less and less human.) Instead, he opened his mouth and focused on the trait Johnny pointed out to him.

Sure enough, two small, white points were growing from where his canine teeth should be. Danny stared. Were those really going to grow into fangs? Honestly, he's not sure why he was surprised. Pretty much every ghost he knew had fangs. Even Vlad did, and he's a halfa too.

He grinned at his reflection, and the reflection grinned back, showing off his brand new pair of fangs. Danny tried to imagine what the would look like on him once they grow, replacing the small points with something longer and sharper.

This was a mistake.

Suddenly the image before him seemed eerily familiar. Wispy hair, almost like fire. Greenish skin bordering on teal. Growing muscles underneath his jumpsuit. And fangs.

The grin was gone from Danny's face, but the reflection still smiled. Since when had its eyes turned red?

Danny took a shaky step back.

It was him.

The thermos slipped from his hands with a clunk. He gulped.

He was turning into him.

Fire entered Danny's nose. Fire, and the smell of burning flesh. He whipped around, eyes out of focus. The Nasty Burger. It was gone. The flames licked the sky and danced on where the building once stood.

His family. His friends. He couldn't save them.

"No," he softly said, as if that could erase the scene before him.

He dropped onto his knees on the pavement. The smoke stung his eyes and filled his lungs. He couldn't breathe.

"No," he repeated, gasping and gripping onto his hairs. "No, no, no."

His eyes fell on the thermos next to him. The metal surface reflected Danny's face, but it wasn't the face he saw in the mirror yesterday. It was his face from tomorrow. Red eyes, wispy hair, and grinning at him with long, sharp fangs.

An ecto-blast shot past his ear, jolting Danny back to reality. He looked up, his eyes finally focusing on someone standing over him...someone wearing a teal jumpsuit and red goggles...his mom?

But he saw her die, didn't he? There was the explosion, and...and she was blasted apart like everyone else...and then...oh, right.

It felt like he was finally waking up. The air around him was clear. He wasn't in front of the Nasty Burger, he was in front of his own house. And even if he was there, the restaurant would still be standing. The explosion never happened. Clockwork erased that timeline.

His family was still alive. Maddie was still alive.

A fact that helpfully made itself apparent by the gun she was pointing at him.

"Why are you doing that?" his mother asked, snapping him out of his reverie.

"Doing what?" he replied.

"Pretending to cry."

Danny touched his cheeks. Was he really crying? Sure enough, his gloves came back wet.

"Answer me, phantom," Maddie's voice cut through his thoughts, sharp and bitter.

Danny let his hands fall onto his lap and gulped. "I'm not pretending."

"Of course you are," Maddie stated matter-of-factly. "Ghosts can't shed genuine tears. After all, it's not like they can feel--"

"Yes, they can," Danny suddenly snapped. "They feel! All they do is feel! That's why they're aggressive. Not because they lack emotion, but because they're created from it! Not that it matters to you, since you never listen to what I say."

Maddie's jaw dropped. As soon as the words left Danny's mouth, he knew it was out of character for him. Phantom was a smooth ghost who only spoke to tell bad puns and mock his enemies. He never snapped at anyone like that. A part of him felt ashamed for yelling at his mother, but he wasn't in the mood to feel guilty about it.

He averted his eyes and wiped at his tears. Man, he must have looked pathetic. Why was Maddie even out here? Of course, he had forgotten that his parents had almost as little sleep as he did. She was probably pulling an all-nighter working on some new invention to kill him when she noticed the ghost having a breakdown outside their house.

Danny tried to ignore the embarrassment he felt and pushed himself to his feet. If Maddie noticed the way he shook as he pulled himself up, she didn't comment on it. He took a deep breath. The smell of fire still lingered in his nose.

"Never mind," he said, not looking at her as he spoke. "I'm not in the mood to deal with you tonight." He turned away and prepared to take flight, but a hand suddenly gripped at his wrist, and he turned back to see Maddie holding on to him.

"Wait," she said. After a moment of hesitation, she let go and...lowered her gun? "Let's assume I believe what you said, about ghosts feeling emotion. Why are you crying?"

Danny had to assure himself that he wasn't dreaming. Talking and not shooting? That was new. He must have stared at her for a long time in surprise, because she frowned and urged, "Well?"

He blinked and looked down. "It's nothing."

"So you are faking?"

"What? No!"

"Then what is it?"

He bit his lip. How could he even begin to explain it? Hey, no biggie, but I sort of saw an alternate timeline where I went evil and killed you, which happened a long time ago but apparently I'm not as over it as I thought. Yeah, no. Instead, he asked, "Why do you care?"

He looked up and saw something soften in her face. Her brows knitted, but in an I'm-willing-to-hear-you kind of way, just like the days in his childhood when she sat next to him in bed, ready to soothe him as he woke up crying from another nightmare. It made him meet her eyes, forgetting for just a moment that they were supposed to be enemies. She was not Maddie the ghosthunter, but Mom.

Then the illusion broke when she said, "With how much power you have, it is my duty as a ghosthunter to make sure you dont step out of line. Anything that would cause you to act differently from usual should concern me."

His chest crumpled. Of course she didn't care, and why would she? He was a ghost. This was nothing more than another duty for her as a ghosthunter.

He tried not to show his disappointment, but it must have shown anyway because Maddie asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No," he lied. "Of course not."

She sighed. "Of course not." She crossed her arms and turned away, then muttered under her breath, "I don't know why I thought I could help a ghost. I can't even help my own children."

Danny guessed he wasn't meant to hear that last part, but he did. He stared at her incredulously and asked, "What?"

She stiffened, then quickly said, "Nothing. I don't need to tell you about my family life."

He took one step toward her, then immediately took a step back when she aimed her gun on him. Right, he forgot she didn't holster that.

"I mean it," she warned. "This isn't about me."

He stumbled and fell onto the pavement. Maddie stood over him, still aiming her weapon at him. Were they not just having a moment? Obviously not. Maddie Fenton was never one to have moments with a ghost.

"Really, quit breathing. I know you don't need to do that."

Danny only then noticed how hard his chest was rising and falling. He gulped. "I can't keep doing this," he suddenly spoke.

The hand holding the gun faltered. "Doing what?"

His eyes stung, but he held back his tears because he knew she would tell him he was faking again, and he didn't want that to happen. Instead, he fixed his eyes on the red goggles that covered hers and said, "Fighting you, being your enemy, until the day you die."

Maddie remained calm as she said, "You're a ghost. I'm a ghosthunter."

"That doesn't mean we have to fight." He gestured between them and added, "I mean, we were just having a conversation. At least until you pulled out your gun again."

"Is that why you brought me out here?"

"I didn't. You came on your own."

"You were acting strange," she replied. "You still didn't answer why."

His core thrummed against his chest as he continued to stare into her gun. Why are you crying? Because he's still scared of becoming his evil self. Because he doesn't want to hurt his family. Because every time he closed his eyes, he saw their scorched remains, and he doesn't want to be the person to cause that to happen.

"I don't want to be a bad ghost," he answered.

Maddie tilted her head. "That can't be it," she spoke in her snobby scientist voice. "Ghosts dont have a sense of right and wrong--"

"Would you stop making assumptions about ghost morals? I'm the ghost here, not you."

That was the second time he snapped at her. He tore his eyes away from her, instead choosing to glare at the street. Maddie was quiet. "...You're serious," she finally said.

"Yeah, no shit."

She lowered her gun...just slightly. "That still doesn't explain things," she said. "Why the sudden reaction? The tears?"

His eyes landed on the thermos that lay a few feet away, reflecting his green skin and wispy hair and glowing eyes on its surface. His gums hurt.

Danny shut his eyes and gulped back bile. "I...I did something bad, okay?" he said, his voice small. "I thought I could forget about it, but I can't. I--I don't want it to happen again."

A moment of silence hung between them, broken only by the soft whistle of the breeze. He hoped she wouldn't ask, but he knew the question was coming anyway. "What did you do?"

His hands shook. He gripped them into fists, but that did nothing to ebb his emotions.

"Phantom," Maddie urged. "What did--"

"I killed people!" The tears escaped his eyes, which opened to reveal toxic green irises that shone brighter than the streetlights. He faced Maddie, his expression contorted in guilt and pain and Ancients why do his gums still hurt as he cried, "I killed people. They died, and it was because of me. I killed them."

He waited for her to get angry at him, to shoot him. Instead, she gave him a reaction he didn't expect.

"Now I know you're faking," she said, lowering her gun completely.

He blinked away his tears. "What?"

"Feeling guilt over someone's death? Ghosts can't care about that." She held up a hand and continued, "Before you argue again about whether ghosts have morals or not, I'm talking about the concept of life and death. You're dead, so you shouldn't be able to bother over whether others are, too."

Danny sat back and let those words sink in. Was that why his alternate self had seemed so heartless? He had removed his humanity, and along with it, any sympathy he had left toward life. If Danny had fully died in that portal, would he...?

He shook his head. He didn't want to think about that. "But I don't want others to suffer the same fate I did," he argued.

"That's not what other ghosts seem to think," Maddie pointed out. "Even if your obsession was saving others, it should be easy for you to get over a few deaths after some time has passed. It simply doesn't make sense for you to care." She crouched until she was at eye level with him and inquired, "So tell me, Phantom. What makes you so different?"

"...I don't know." What else could he say without revealing his secret? He truthfully told her, "I never asked to be this way."

She scrutinized him, as if looking at him could somehow reveal the truth. After a while, she sighed and stood up...and holstered her gun.

"I can never understand you," she said. "You're just...so human. Your emotions, your thinking, your morals, even your appearance."

He perked up. "You think I look human?"

She looked at him as if he just said the dumbest thing on the planet. "Of course you do," she answered. "Even if you've changed since your first appearance, the change isn't nearly as much as it should be for such an increase in power as yours. Other ghosts your power level would look much more monstrous. But not you. You may grow claws and fangs, but you can still pass as a person."

Danny was dumbfounded. Here he was worried that he might be losing his humanity, and now he was proven wrong by none other than one of the world's leading ghost researchers, his own mother. He thought that was as much relief as he could feel, and then she said,

"You're not a bad ghost, Phantom."

He bit the insides of his mouth to keep himself from crying again because dammit he's already cried enough times this night already. Instead, he blurted out the thing that was on his mind in that moment, which was, "You're not a bad mom."

Mom faltered. For a second, Danny worried that he screwed up. He should not have said that, now she's going to try shooting him again and then everything that just happened would be a waste... But she didn't do that. He couldn't read her face well from underneath her mask, but something crossed her face. She observed him silently, and he squirmed, wondering what she saw. She opened her mouth to say something, but then changed her mind and turned away without a word, leaving the halfa behind as she went back indoors.

Danny sat in the middle of the empty street, watching his mom leave. What just happened? He wasn't sure, but Mom just left without leaving him an injury, which he didn't think could be possible. The world lit up around him as the sun rose from the east.

Shit, he had to return home before someone could walk into his room and find it empty. He fumbled around until he caught the thermos, then paused to look at his reflection. He saw...himself. No evil alternate self. No monster from the future. Just Danny Phantom, existing in the present.

He grinned, showing off his brand new pair of fangs.

Now that he thought about it, having fangs sounds pretty cool.

[msawesomegeek]

Cinderella (2021) Movie Review

A/N: Look at me, reviewing something that actually came out this year! Look, long story short, I accidentally got free 7 days prime and wanted to make the most of it, and I love Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster. So yeah, I watched. Also I found out right in the end that the guy who plays the prince is in one of my favourite movies (Handsome devil.) Anyways, on to this, and I feel kind of weird calling it a review, because I feel like it is just gonna be an appropriately deranged rant. Enjoy <3 And tell me if you agree, disagree or just wanna talk really.

Spoilers ahead.

To the person living under a rock its cinderella but with a small twist, the prince has a personality, so does actually, everyone else, which is cool, but I digress, everyone has personalities, and Ella wants to be a designer and the prince doesn't wanna be king, not really. Thats it. I hope I dont have to summarise the rest of Cinderella for you, it's pretty basic and have been done a million times.

Now, I watched the old and it was like my least favourite growing up, because I guess a little internalised misogyny, and well I liked Mulan and Jasmine, because they did stuff in their movies. And well, Cinderella just could look pretty, and that was never my strong suit soo. I then when Disney Plus came to my country watched the live action remake. And yeah, it was okay, I remember feeling things but also having no need to watch it again. This, this one I dont know how to feel about.

I didn't know where to start, but the good I guess, because that is gonna be the shortest. Okay, so Idina Menzel is amazing, and I love her. The only thing is, and that is probably just a me thing, but her high note in Material Girls reminded me of Wicked and I was like teared up for a moment, because god that is so much better a musical and I hope no one ever puts it onto any film unless its live. I did also really like what they did to the step mothers character, it gave her depth but not in a way that took up space too much in the story, maybe the piano thing was literally a bit too much, but it was actually really cool to see this mother first be this evil entity who teaches her daughters to be material, and then reveals why. It was cool. Also I had to take a break after the first 10 minutes of this movie, and one of my thoughts was: I don't know anything about most of these characters but those step sisters are fantastic! And they were! Not too overly dumb or naive for the dumb one and not too mean or anything for the other. Just perfect. Great singing. No notes. You three can stay!

James Cordon, Romesh Ranganathan and James Acaster, they were really good. They were funny, a little distracting at times, but you know what that is more the editors fault than theirs. I loved them. No notes.

I would also like to add, I liked the changes at least most of them to the story and characters. No it is not at all perfectly executed, we will get to that TRUST ME!, but it isn't too woke, a little on the nose maybe, but come on! We have seen cinderella in so many ways (Sidenote, great for ONCE not to see Minnie Driver as an evil stepsister, because she's played the stepsister in like half of all cinderella adaptations.) We have seen this story so many times before, the reason that a cinderella story or Ella Enchanted, which in my book are the only ones worth a rewatch, are good is because they tried to do something different! And it worked! So I really don't mind it.

The last strength this movie has: It's really fucking funny sometimes, her rat lines, hilarious, I'm sorry, I laughed, its fucking dumb, but I laughed. I will say though, little side note here, I'm not sure it was all intentional though. And like, sure the commentary was funny, but it was a little inconsistent and sometimes it really took the tension out of a scene where it needed tension.

Okay, now for the complaining. If you loved this movie, you're probably not going to like this.

Now first off, and this is JUST for me, but when that Cellist broke her Cello after The Seven Nation Army mash up, I literally yelled: "NO! That is so expensive!"

Moving on! Like I said, I liked the story, I did like the changes they made to it. But there were some things that just pissed me tf off. Mostly it is on the prince's side of the story, and its not just there that there are flaws I just noticed them more.

The FIRST FUCKING SCENE WITH THE PRINCE! First time we meet him, first time we are introduced to him. He tells a girl, he doesn't wanna marry her, (And I went back to check it because I wanted to make sure I didnt miss something the first time.), he rejects a girl, because, "I don't plan on settling down any time soon.". I'm sorry. Just, just to be clear here. You wrote a script. Several people wrote a script. People agreed to act, direct and film it. AND NO ONE, NO ONE, thought to stop and ask about how fucking stupid that line is! This fucking movie, tries its damnedest, the rest of its almost two hour run time, to convince you, that, the reason Robert is opposed to marrying anyone other than Ella, is because HE WANTS LOVE. His mother says that is his reason! They cut away to more exposition, and THEN they have the fucking audacity, that his next scene has him being scolded by his father, and THEN making his I want song be, Somebody to love by Queen. (I literally paused and breathed to calm down my anger). I'm sorry. I just have to ask. WHAT THE HELLL???!!!!

WHAT?!!

WHAT!!!!

hn,gbsdig

WHAT?!

WHAT, is this?! What (and I mean this from the bottom of my heart) THE FUCK!

Why! Just Why, did no one! Nada, niet, no one, stop and say: Hold on, its almost like the princes ENTIRE establishing scene is him acting like a brat who doesn't wanna marry, and literally telling a princess he doesn't wanna marry, not just her, but implying in general. Isn't that kind of weird when he the rest of this movie claim he only wanna marry for love. Why not just make him say that? And apparently if someone DID say that, they were promptly fired, because this movie was clearly written and directed a M. Night Shamalan ripoff, because at least his twists makes fucking sense!

I know its just a fucking movie, but it pisses me off SO fucking much. Like it is one line, in one scene, and this movie would be 10 times better.

Next. And yes, this will involve less what's in all caps with exclamation points after, but know, that there will be equal amounts of what the hells felt in this next thing.

Later, Robert has permission from his parents to go off and marry Ella, and he searches which is kind of a cool sequences, then him and the boys are riding through the woods and all hope is lost, you know? Anyways, we get this scene, with the boys, and we know so far that Robert has a best friend named Haymish (I think), and then two other nameless bros who are mostly just clones of Grigor from the Great. Anywho, they are riding through the woods, all hope is lost, and then one of them gives this beautiful speech about how love is important and we all should long for what Robert has. It inspires them to carry on and Robert remembers that the marketplace exists. Cool? No. First off the dialogue in this scene is more contrived than a Kardashian ass. It is clunky and I am sorry, but no amount of cute irish accent is going to make me forget that you are literally spewing bullshit about love in a way that is laughably unsubtle and honestly just terribly written. Now maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven that, if, it was said by Haymish (Still not sure thats his name but we'll go with it), because we have spent time with Haymish, we have liked Haymish because he is sort of sassy and we know that he is cautious and the person discouraging the prince, so to have him when all hope is lost go: No, if this is true love, you got this and you will find here. Now think, where could she be?

Still clunky, but its two in the morning and I didnt get paid to write a movie. But it would make sense, its a character established to go against the prince and be sensible, for him to be inspired and have a change a heart would be sweet, still contrived but sweet. Instead, we get this god damned NOBODY who might as well be an extra, saying these things and I was internally screaming: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! Why are you here? Who are you?!

Last thing on Robert and I promise to trash like two more things and then go. Anyways, Robert, I kind of loved and hated him at the same time. Good actor, singing wasn't awful. Here is the deal, if they had sticked with it a little more (and I get why they didnt but then why do it in the first place), I would have loved his character. He was witty and fucking funny. And half of the time when he wasn't busy being sweet or in love, he was a perfect ripoff of Peter from the Great. Now the reason I both loved and hated Robert is because of exactly that. The Great is a fantastic series that you should absolutely watch. And it's like they knew what they were doing, like his first line is like straight up something Peter would say, delivery and everything, and making him say Huzzah. Like, is this intertextuality or what? Like at the first half of this movie, I could literally see Peter from the great being friends with Robert. And if they had actually dared to follow through and allow him to continue to be sort of an awful person that could work, and could have been a great story about him wanting to be better than his father bla blah bla. I also get why they couldn't do that, but then like, just make him stupid my bros. Like make him more stupid. It would make sense that he is an idiot who just falls in love with a random girl. It would make even more sense for Gwen to be just rolling her eyes at him. Also, why dont we know more about Gwen, besides that she would actually be a great leader, here is a thing I have a problem with, why does she at like no point in the story talk to her brother. Why doesn't she give the pep talk! You cant convince me that she loves her brother with heart eyes in the end when you two have literally never had a conversation! Sorry, tangent. Anyway, the reason I hate Robert being like Peter from The Great, is, it reminded me I could just be rewatching The Great instead of this weird ripoff.

Moving on! Now, I still dont know where I stand on the godfairy, like I was like, its the fucking butterfly, of course it is. And I did like it, then I hated it, then I liked it again. That's it.

Now, what pissed me off to no end in this movie is, the music. First off I really did not like the opening number, it felt weird and clunky somehow, I would have been fine with a little voiceover or for it to somehow to be incorporated into Ella's I want song. Because I get it establishes the world, but like, idk, it just wasn't a very good song. And the opening number is also a big pet peeve of mind. First off, I dont hate Camilla Cabello, I think she's a good musician, I like some of her songs, I liked fifth Harmony. And hell, I did not even mind her acting in most of this. It was fine. The problem I have with her, that in that opening number, which is opening, HER movie, she is autotuned to death. I also had that problem with the second number, and then it was fine in perfect. But you CANNOT have the audacity to have an opening number to a movie, where the lead actress is a musician, and then autotune her to death. Like I spent a good amount of time wondering what went wrong. Like one of the notes sounded like it was tuned to the wrong note! And I know you can autotune today, without having the sound of it noticeable, and it was so fucking noticeable. So WHY. Why would you do this! This is an amazon movie, you have endless resources. Hire a better mixer! And even it was a great sound producer who did their job completely correctly, it also kind of in those first two songs, sounded like it was like in a bad place for her range. I literally in the beginning after hearing a note by Camilla, paused and went: Really!? Not going to get another take of that? Cool. Fine. Whatever. Its only a MUSICAL! And then they have the audacity to have her singing come in after and in duet with Idina Menzel, who fucking Slays. Even the step sisters slay their part. Just do a different take. Do something to the music! Dont let your lead singer sing a bad note and be badly autotuned! How did you let this happen? Also, while we're at the music, I dont hate some of it, like fuck somebody to loved did, but that was mostly because they had the audacity to sing queen and then not follow through in his character! Like, they might as well have made him sing Under Pressure. Actually, I just went to spotify under Queen to find a song, and Under Pressure would fit his character perfectly, his motivation and everything. Also, is there a reason they didnt make his song just duet Ella's in the beginning, but instead shoehorned it in when they got the rights to Queen instead? Because it would have shown connect and stuff. Maybe like, make their reunion scene, idk, meaningful? No. Not what you're going for. Cool. I also hate that they sang Perfect. We get it. Its a good song. Okay? Just let it be. Let it be just music, just instrumental, let them dance, let them sing it later. Just, not now. You could also have like, not picked something that in under a year became the worlds most annoying song because its played at every wedding ever. That is also an option, you know?

Also, I thought Ella was in a hurry, to like sail off. Dont try to convince me they gathered the whole kingdom in under an hour to announce Gwen as the new queen. Like, I get you want a big finishing dance number, but come on, they have somewhere to be!

All in all, (Wow, you made it this far? I deliver on the deranged rant part right?) there are some cool things about this movie, but I will be honest a lot of it bothered me, but hey, if you have two hours to spear, you might as well, you know, watch Handsome Devil. It has the guy who plays the prince, but its great and beautiful, and have characters that make sense and a great closing song that doesn't feel shoehorned, but is actually just beautiful in a fantastic way. And if you after that still haven't had enough, go watch the great. I promise its better. Like if you have no other options, sure, watch it, be like me, enjoy the comedians, the Idina's, the Peter like lines, and try to get past the rest. It is, passible. Like, technically it is a movie.

2/10 stars.