#XanderDrayke

[phoenyx-rose-blog]

Meet Xander Drayke

Born 2 days after The Christian Holiday of Christmas, a Capricorn, she was a little bit of a trouble maker right from birth. Due January 9th, she decided to come early. Born at 1:24 am via C-Section weighing 7 lbs 3 oz and 20 in long. 

We were slightly disappointed at this result because we were hoping for a VBAC, Vaginal Birth After Cesarean, delivery. Which wasn’t possible due to our location. She was coming so fast that I wouldn’t make it to the only hospital in the area with the insurance coverage to perform that type of delivery in time.

However, she was born healthy. That’s what mattered the most. Her health didn’t last long though. She was admitted to the hospital at 2 months old for RSV and Pneumonia. 5 days in a mist tent, and she slowly improved. We went home and she remained healthy from there on. At least physically…

Skip ahead to age 8. She started acting out and being aggressive, easily agitated, irritable all the time and violent. So, we started counselling. 

That’s when the misdiagnosis started. Everything from ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), to DMDD (Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder), to BPD (Bi-Polar Disorder), and finally OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) with Anxiety.

The last seemed to fit. Unfortunately, it is the hardest to manage. With no real treatment, we used coping skills and home remedies. We kept her busy. She is very athletic and loves Football, Basketball, Baseball and Wrestling. 

She also lives to be outdoors. Camping, fishing, swimming, hiking, riding bike and kayaking. She loves bugs but has a horrifying fear of spiders. Though you can usually find her where the bugs play! After awhile, and with age, she seemed to get better.

Enter Summer 2016; We were informed that she wanted to be called ‘Jo’ and that she didn’t like the girly clothes we kept making her wear. She wanted “boy” clothes when we went school shopping. Okay. No big deal. I believe in allowing my children to express themselves as who they are.

Fast forward to this Summer. We began watching ‘The Fosters’, as a family show on Netflix. During one of the episodes, there is a character called ‘Aaron’ who was once ‘Alison’. He is a transgender male. The episode focused on his trip home to see his family and the struggles that go along with his transition from female to male. 

When the episode was over, my family went to bed per the usual. The next day, my daughter came to me and said that she figured out who and what she is and that the episode we watched the night before was what helped her in the discovery of her true self. 

She explained her feelings and asked that I schedule her an appointment with the doctor to discuss hormone therapy to begin the transition from female to male. I happily obliged.

Three days later, we sat in the Doctor’s office and they spoke about what this all means. My child knew exactly what it meant and exactly what was felt. So the referrals were sent out. She expressed her desire to be addressed with male pronouns and we left. We arrived home, shared HIS news and HE chose HIS name.

This is Xander! 4th Child, 2nd Son, Wild Child.