#Wtf is up with my brain
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a bit manic because there’s another cute guy in my other recitation.
I feel like I’m in high school skssgfdgsgsgdhdhdjskdjgdhdjdhdggff
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Right now, this very minute, I should be packing. I should be wrapping glassware in paper and shoving it in a box. However I can't seem to move. Instead I sit on the couch and think about all the shit I need to do, watch TV, and accomplish nothing. Even though the sale on this house my landlord owns is pushed back a few weeks, I still need to be out. So I still have a problem. I still need to be packing. So what am I doing instead? Making homemade pesto, cooking pasta, drinking wine, and I'm about to watch "Dune" for the 3rd time. Yeah. Real fucking productive Jen.
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I had a dream last night in which I kept running into David Tennant as Dr. Who (the character, not as David playing the character--also, I've never watched Dr. Who) and then my dream plot changed, but David Tennant showed up again. This time as Crowley. I distinctly remember thinking during my dream "Has anyone considered that David Tennant might be God?" as an explanation to myself on why David Tennant was there.
#this is also the second night ive had a dream featuring a famous person#my dream about Elon Musk was much more annoying#in that dream he was an asshole who wanted to torture his friends just to see what they would let him do#wtf is up with my brain#i say stuff
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#RRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WTF.#i feel like someone just sliced up my skull and scooped out my brain with a spoon.
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My last final is on wed but I need to be done with school NOW my brain is NOT FUNCTIONING I literally can’t study let me be done for gods sake I can’t handle any more of this executive dysfunctioning nonsense
#yapping#I just have to get it together for a few days but I literally can’t WTF#wip#also I’m doing a mini comic#it’s all my brain is allowing me to work on I’m gonna fail neuroscience 😔#adhd more like adh…pee#I’m shutting up now
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cclingyyyyy who rememberssss woooo
#cclingyduo#ctubbo#ctommy#clingyduo#i remember tubbos compass got blown up in the stupidest way possibke did it ever get a new one i dotn think he did😭😭plz lmk if im wrong bc i#remember ever since i was like damn is he reallu not replacing it was that Canon#butttt its been like four years maybe my brain has the memory all scrambled.....#very quick art this thing has like no pixels wtf i just noriced what is this small ass canvas size#its just hitting me now like all my art is Pixel brush Imma try to branch out next time(i probably wont)
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i cant stand them. puh-tooy 👎 seb and cole probably smell like straight dogshit
#sdv sebastian#stardew valley#stardew valley fanart#stardew valley sebastian#sebastian stardew#sebastian stardew valley#stardew sebastian#sebastian sdv#farmer cole#rot in my cat brain#if ur wondering wtf tombstone smashers is#i made up a random band name
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For my birthday... read my webcomic! It's literally free! (Unless you want books. Those are not free)
It's beautiful, it's gentle, it's funny, they're canonically t4t and gay... And it's about time traveling vampires solving supernatural mysteries!
I've spent thousands of hours writing and drawing it, and it's really good! I'm not biased!
It's on hiatus right now and coming back in 2 months, so it's the perfect time to get caught up
#i felt weird putting this in there so I didnt but I've also received recognition for excellence in writing#and was nominated as a fan favorite on webtoon canvas...#so like not only do i work super hard but its just really good!#im not ashamed of claiming that i think my work is well done. if i didn't think i was doing a good job why would i do it#buuuut. something about being like please read my comic im literally so good at comics feels weird to me#even though i think that. in my brain#i dont want to imply that there is some objective or tangible goodness to my work simply for receiving some accolades#its nothing other than some accolades. whether or not someone likes it is up to them#so i guess to me it just feels superfluous#but genuinely I love my comics...#i re read them all the time. and i enjoy them!#theres things i would change and probably will change when i go to print#but i did what I could with the time and energy I had#and when it comes back... oh boy.#my friends have agreed its the best stuff ive ever written. it's literally so good...#im so excited to share.#still not fully ready to officially commit to the return date#but i am gunning for it!#webcomics#webtoon#time and time again#its my birthday!#idk wtf to tag this as. im 27 now...#read my comic#LOL
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thinking about how empty charles and edwin’s lives would have been if they never died. like the concept of death, especially their deaths, are horrid and unfair. but if they never died they would have never found each other. even in death things can beautiful and that tears me up from the inside out. it’s not till death do us part, but when death brings us together.
#i’m dead#they’re rotting in my brain#teenage boys and their fucked up lives#i’m actually losing my shitttttt#like wtf#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#the dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#payneland
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#testing testing 123#not bien but this would send 15 year old avo into cardiac arrest#senator shockwave#i followed a tutorial online how to color and thats the best i came up with#im lying there was no tutorial. i looked at this one image until my brain started bleeding#maccadam#also yeh this is new. clap clap clap clap you drew omg avo--SHADDAP#this is somehow high effort and low effort at the same time. ive confused myself#i need to find transformers artists to study. ill start with seafood pie#i cant for the life of me even begin to comprehend what any of these materials are#wait wtf this comic has been out for 12 years? ill drink to that#my special mgtrn lunchable is waiting for me#something about being into tf again makes me crave beauty#i want to capture it. hold it a little. and then release it again from my own hands
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nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am
#my want to draw traditionally literally split me open for the past week and leaves me literally depressed i'm so serious i can't even look -#- @ my art programs without wanting to throw up omfg should;ve never picked up those pencils#but it's ok i just needed a nap#something so relatable about them i think nelvas has something in it for everyone meanwhile eltl is secluded art museum.#it's very possible to walk around in neloth's and talvas' brains but eltl is off limits. they will NOT! get no drawings like this outta me#wtf r they thinking ........#< eltl not nelvas#something nobody on dis earth can understand ..........#talvas wants to live he likes living but neloth's presence is so strong that it overrides and deletes his will to live.#bruuuuuuuuh#i bet the feeling of neloff is in everything he does if they ever part ways he won't be able to fold clothes or anythign without wanting -#- 2 cry . for what reason . idk bc neloth once yelled at him for folding clothes like shit .what am i on rn#(talvas thoughts mode) I want this old man to hug meeee😢😢😢#NELOFF DO IT and smash him too before i do it first .#me and neloth are the same person tho so it doesn;t matter but w/e#i'm getting emotional over them right now this cannot be real#i love her .... (Skyr1m)#i opened the game for .5 minutes today to take pics of a character uight what a beautiful game.#Te/s having such extensive lore ruins the whole entire game and the franchise but whatever . skyr1m is an art piece that's just how i feel#also this might be a very hard pill to swallow for some people but t*lvas is literally a kin Vessel for young women that keep getting -#- hit on by men twice or thrice their age when they're just trying to live their life .#this feels so profound to me i need dis shit inmy discord bio right NOEW.#Talvas................................#(eyes watering) (holding palm out)#suicide //#just in case but this tag would've gone crazy with my drawings of ulfr*c from late 2022 where i drew him with slit wrists. very artsay#is it not. i didn't like neither of those drawings tho i need to revisit cus i can feel ulfr*c on a diffaraaant level#when will i run out of tags. the way you can tell i just LUH talvas look at me drawing his hair in that second pic 😑BRU#look at me also trying to replicate pencils digitally in the first.. hmmm i don't hate it#at least it soothes me and i don't have pencil withdrawal
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per aspera crew cuddle pile be upon ye <3
#my art#this is mostly because i remembered the canon cuddle pile in s2e4 after they beat the nightmare thing#because theyre very special to me#also wtf i couldn't find like any four person cuddle references this is all just from my brain because i couldn't find a single reference#i did reference my little height chart thing to make sure everyone was the right size though lmao#kyana you are so small#especially when you are curled up into a ball being held by finbar#i just love them#rwd#rolling with difficulty#vr la rwd#dani rwd#kyana rwd#finbar rwd#also . very important to note that dani is in fact drooling all over her face and vr las arm <3
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#aitsf#ai the somnium files#aini#nirvana initiative#kaname date#hitomi sagan#chip art#hey wtf is their ship name#hitodate#???#datomi#i hate my life#tags are aini spoilers pls look away#anyway can we think about dates reasons for putting on the mask#and what that meant for his mental state and relationships at the time#how he intentionally used the face of That Guy again and how that distanced him from his previous life#and on top of that he started avoiding hitomi#there is something rattling up there in my brain
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#hyunjin#skz#stray kids#omw to crawl on top of him like a cockroach#my brain just turned into the consistency of a slushie. are u happy now#cause wtf.#this black swan like he’s gonna take a look in the mirror and the word wh0re will pop up in the mirror like in that movie#and i hope it haunts him forever like this picture will haunt me
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