#Would make me habe a breakdown in front of them and even then i dont think they could fully.... Get it

[mrfoox]

I hate when you know people mean well but they're so off the mark, it hurts you

[twelve-twelve-eleven]

I’ve Had Enough P3 Final - Rafe Cameron

caution: rafe x reader, crying, yelling, talking about drug addiction, arguing/fighting, kinda toxic relationship, children, swearing, YOU AND RAFE ARE +18

a/n: ALRIGHT EVERYBODY, IM NOT GOOD AT WRITING CONVOS THAT GO ON FOR A LONG TIME SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. ANYWAYS,, i told my girlfriend that my story got love and she said she was proud of me😎

words: 1.3k

outline: rafe and you moved in together after your second child was born. but of course, rafe’s addiction didn’t ease up. in fact, it go worse. you finally broke out after having to deal with it for more than 2 years.

Part 1  Part 2

“alright, i’ll do that.”

after eating the pancake special, you and your mother take the kids to her house. you get them all settled in, letting them sleep before going downstairs to see your mom watching TV. 

as you sit down on the couch next to your mother, your phone vibrated against your thigh. you pulled it out of your sweatpants and looked at the notification. “where are you?”

“y/nnnnnnn”

“we aren’t starting until you get over here”

“so hurry your ass up”

“y/n answer my damn calls”

“JJ IS TAKING ALL THE ALCOHOL YOU HABE TO GET HERE NIW”

in conclusion, your phone was blown up with texts from Kie. you totally forgot that you guys planned a movie night since you didn’t see the pogues that much anymore, you were really looking forward to that too. you sighed and texted back, too exhausted to even get up. 

“can’t make, sorry school got in the way”

she quickly saw it, typing back a “okay :(” if she knew what just happened, she and all the pogues would probably be jumping rafe. they were of course disappointed in you because you were macking on a kook, an awful kook to be exact, but they were your best friends so they always supported you throughout whatever happened. y’all had each other's backs no matter what.

your heart was beating at a million beats per minute, getting the courage to speak up. you knew you needed to tell them, they’re the closest people to you, the closest family. your leg was bouncing up and down, your eyes focused on the floor of the HMS Pogue as you zoned out from the conversation. suddenly, a hand landed on your thigh, gaining your attention. “y/n, you okay?” kiara asked, a concerned look on her face. you quickly switched from the blank expression on your face to a smile. “yeah, i’m fine!” you look over at the boys, still arguing over football teams or whatever. “y/n, you only bounce your leg when something’s on your mind.” she was right, your subconscious tells the damn truth. you bit your lip, thinking of a lie. “y/n, you haven’t opened your beer?” JJ yelled from the stern of the boat. your breathing picked up, deciding between the two voices speaking to you. as you tried to explain yourself, you stuttered and stumbled over your non-existent words. “hey, hey hey breathe y/n breathe, take your time.” kiara said, moving your head towards her. as you stared into her eyes, tears welled up in yours. “im sorry.” you started to breakdown in front of them, letting the tears flow.

“you cant apologize if we dont know what’s wrong, y/n.” JJ said softly, everyone’s attention towards you. you held in your sobs and looked up at everyone, saying “fuck it” and telling them. “uhm- the reason i disappear in the morning is because..” your lip started to quiver. “because i’m pregnant.” you quietly said. you heard no noise come from anyone, but everyone heard what you said. “with.. who’s?” John B spoke out, curious. “rafe.” thats when everyone’s jaws dropped. you were actually scared by how they reacted, how they all had that stare that said “what the actual fuck”. they all looked at eachother, your eyebrows furrowed. the questions rapidly came at you. the why, the when, the why again, multiple times, and the where. 

“that’s why i haven’t been smoking or drinking much.” you calmly said, getting your breathing back. “atleast you’re responsible.” pope said, nodding his head. “more weed for us.” everyone told JJ off and shushed him, earning a small chuckle from you. “anyways, we’ll support, no matter what. i can get diapers, wipes, anything needed for the baby.” you smiled, feeling seen and heard, loved.

as you clicked back to reality, you felt your eyes burn and looked at the time, 12. you got up and headed up to the guest room, realizing that mom was sleeping. you went up quietly so the kids didn’t wake up, softly closing the door. when you laid down to finally close your eyes, immediate thoughts rushed into your head about scenarios in the future, how you could have done better with what happened, what to say to him tomorrow, etc. it was like your mind was your agenda, jotting down everything you had on your mind. you suddenly felt overwhelmed, and turned side to side to get the thoughts out of your head. you slammed your eyes closed, wrinkling up your face. stop, stop, stop, stop. you tried to think about good thoughts, like your children or the pogues, revisiting the core memories you had with all of them. with the pogues, you snuck into other people’s backyards and used their pools, pool-hopping. from ditching school to surf to just relaxing in John B’s backyard, it was all so much fun and felt so free. even with your children, getting them ice cream on days you had free of work or school, or taking them to meet your long time friends. spencer grew to love kie, how giddy he would get when he was in her arms. one day though, you caught jj napping in the hammock out back, and getting a closer look, spencer was cuddled up next to him, jj’s arm around your boy. your heart immediately melted at the sight of them together.

when you backed away from your memories, you saw the dark blue color leaking through your windows. shit. you didn’t get a lick of sleep, or maybe you did. you couldn’t really recall that, but you knew you could get through the day with no sleep, you’ve done it before. you breathed out, slowly collecting what you were gonna say to rafe. you decided to get up and grab the notebook that was on the desk which was full of blank pages. you wrote down sentences and erased words, doing the most so he wouldn’t flip out again. you reread the lines again and again, getting a sense on what to say. 

“you sure you can do this?” your mom questioned you. you nodded, giving marie and spencer a kiss on their heads. you got into your car, waving to them. “if you need anything, call me.” she said, her expression soft. “i will.” you replied before rolling up your window. you were nervous, of course you were. you left him at home by himself for a whole 12 hours. he could have injured himself, he could have damaged himself more, every scenario you imagined could have happened. 

you got to the house eventually and stopped in the driveway. you tightened your hands on the steering wheel, collecting your breath and saving every last feeling of it. you got out, shut your door, and walked towards the house. once you stepped onto the doormat, the front door suddenly swung open. your eyes widened as you saw rafe standing there, slumped and his eyes bloodshot red. once you guys met each other’s eyes, rafe stumbled into your arms, breaking down. “im sorry, im sorry, im sorry” he repeated, mumbled into your neck. you wrapped your hands around his neck, feeling your own tears come to the surface. the words you wanted to hear for the longest time. “I didn’t mean- absolutely any of the stuff I said yesterday. I’m sorry for running you out the house, i’m sorry for- for letting the kids see me like this.” He suddenly spat out. “you can’t keep doing these, rafe, you know that.” you quietly spoke into the crook of his neck. his head nodded rapidly. “i know, i dont want to lose you guys.” before you knew it, you guys were both sobbing, holding each other tight.

“sorry isn’t enough, but im gonna change y/n, for you and them.” and you finally believed him.

a/n 2: OKAY WAIT HELLLOO???? ARE WE DONE??? WHAT??? okay it may not be the best since it is my first writing on tumblr, but im actually really proud of this work. i started this- what like a year ago, forgot it, and now its done !!! thanks for the love and support for this story,, it really helped me keep writing <3 be safe everyone :)