#WorstTVShow

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THE AARONS 2019 - Worst TV Show

As the fifth anniversary of this award show, it’s perhaps fitting that we end with a bit of retrospection. The Worst TV Show award was originally added specifically to acknowledge a certain TV show. The show was based on one of my favorite films of all time, so I was going to keep watching no matter how awful it got. I figured that writing about it here each year would keep me going through any amount of seasons it got. However, after being the reigning champ for the first two Aarons, the show suffered production and release delays. It was year I: Scream. Then 2: Scream. But now, at long last, let us all scream for thrice...

WINNER: Scream (Season 3) - VH1

The outcry did not go unheard (or did, depending on the perspective) - Scream: The TV Series finally returned for its third season in 2019, three years after it was last on the air. Despite a complete creative overhaul in the interim, Season 3 carves up a three-peat for the series in this category. Though it finally gained the rights to the original Ghostface mask and resurrected Roger Jackson as the voice, the show remained dead-set on embracing all the well-worn horror clichés that the film series made mockery of. Worst still, its climactic reveal stood in sharp contrast to the messaging of the original Scream, erroneously blaming horror movies for real-world violence. After a duo of dreadfully disappointing seasons, it’s outrageously impressive that Scream: The TV Series is still finding new ways to stab fans in the back.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Almost Family (Pilot Only) - FOX

Almost Family is not even close to reconciling the criminality of its central conceit with its quirky network comedy leanings.

Carol’s Second Act (Pilot Only) - CBS

The bland three-act structure of Carol’s Second Act makes for a CBS comedy not worth a second outing.

Prodigal Son (Pilot Only) - FOX

Preposterous yet pretentious, this knock-off Hannibal can go away and never come back.

Perfect Harmony (Pilot Only) - NBC

Rushing through its beats, whether character, comedic, or dramatic, Perfect Harmony is entirely off-key.

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THE AARONS 2022 - Worst TV Show

2022 fulfilled the prophecy of Teen Titans Go to the Movies by having Batman spin-off series based on both Alfred Pennyworth and the Batmobile on the air. I watched both yet neither made this list. I may have bad taste. Here is The Aaron for Worst TV Show:

WINNER: Riverdale (Season 6b) - CW

It hurts to admit, but Riverdale has run dry. It was a long time coming for the teen drama, once a nomination for Best TV Show during the 2017 Aarons, which always ate through plot points faster than Jughead goes through a plate of hamburgers. The triumphs and defeats of the high-school gang fell to epic lows last year in their super-powered battle against an inter-dimensional satanic warlock. It was the jumping of a shark once thought blown out of the water. The forced fantasy elements held only frivolous stakes for viewers, but significant consequences for the cast of Riverdale: it was impossible to ignore this season how much the multi-talented, contractually-obligated actors are fighting to escape their current situation.

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS:

American Horror Stories (Season 2) - Hulu

The spin-off stacked up many more horrible stories this year, milking shock value subjects to off-putting ends.

Naomi (Season 1) - CW

The biggest problem with the superhero show was not having enough issues. Tediously adapting the character’s sole comic-book storyline over an entire season of TV? That’s a ‘no’ from me.

Star Trek: Picard (Season 2) - Paramount+

Second contact with Picard wasn’t any more successful than the first. Wishing for meaningful contributions to the mythos doesn’t make it so. 

Quantum Leap (Pilot Only) - NBC

The new Leap is a massive step down, encumbering itself with excessive side characters and backstory.

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THE AARONS 2021 - Worst TV Show

With Scream redeemed on the big screen and Emily in Paris remaining unseen, the shows gleaned for this award are even more lean. Here is the Aaron for Worst TV Show:

WINNER: Clarice (Season 1) - CBS

It’s hardly the first scary movie adaptation to win this award, but with Clarice, the well’s clearly run dry on Hollywood’s current cannibalization of intellectual property. Chasing down FBI Agent Clarice Starling after her apprehension of serial killer Buffalo Bill, the Silence of the Lambs sequel series never becomes comfortable in its own skin. Stretched beyond their natural limit and forbidden from mentioning their iconic adversary Hannibal Lecter, the characters spend the season stranded like sheep without a shepherd in pointless political-corruption plot lines. This misuse of the source material is a slap in the face to fans of previous adaptations; Clarice may claim the silence is over, but it needs to keep Hannibal’s name out of its mouth.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

American Horror Stories (Season 1) - FX

The anthology spin-off murdered any potential it housed with an overeliance on the parent series’ previous storylines.

The Patrick Star Show (Pilot Only) - Nickelodeon

Once living under a rock, Patrick Star now dances on the grave of SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg in this unfunny, unsanctioned spin-off.

La Brea (Pilot Only) - NBC

La Brea succumbs to the pitfalls of many a post-Lost mystery-box show: plenty of questions, but no compelling characters.

Ordinary Joe (Pilot Only) - NBC

Life is full of infinite possibilities, but the timeline-shifting Ordinary Joe still can’t think beyond three of network TV’s most regular choices: nurse, doctor, and rock star.

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THE AARONS 2020 - Worst TV Show

With Scream silenced and The Purge purged from the schedule, there’s would seem to be a drought of dreadful TV on the air. But while I couldn’t be an explorer under quarantine, I could play one on TV and uncover some brand new dark corners of the small screen. Here is the Aaron for Worst TV Show:

WINNER: Emily in Paris (Season 1) - Netflix

Pandemics make strange bedfellows, like Dolly Parton funding the COVID-vaccine, or like binge-watching an entire season of truly terrible TV in a single afternoon with your roommate’s girlfriend. The globe-trotting, Globes-nominated Netflix show gave viewers a vicarious vacation during lockdown, but with the curl of the monkey’s paw, saddles them with a vapid and insufferable tour guide. Emily spends her days giving frank advice to French stereotypes, an embarrassing bit of international arrogance, with night-life romances built on similar cluelessness. No pandemic lockdowns needed - with Emily in Paris, you’re better off doing anything else inside instead. 

DISHONORABLE MENTIONS: 

Amazing Stories (Season 1) - Apple TV+

Aggressively sanitized to befit its distributor, Amazing Stories never manages more than a ‘meh.’

Lincoln Rhyme: Hunt for the Bone Collector (Season 1) - FOX

With implausible and predictable serial killer hunting, Lincoln Rhyme collects only bores from viewers.

Helstrom (Season 1) - Hulu

The pre-Marvel Studios era of Marvel TV flamed out with this horror show too scared of its comic origins to entertain.

Space Force (Pilot Only) - Netflix

With no clear sense of direction, Space Force stalled at lift off. 

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THE AARONS 2016 - Worst TV Show

Many critics have stated that the world is currently experiencing an era of “Peak TV” based on two criteria: the rising number of shows being produced, and the rising quality of many of those shows. With so many great shows out there, it is becoming increasingly inexcusable to waste one’s time on the shows that fall far short of this rising bar of quality. Still, I ended up watching quite a bit of these atrocious programs during 2016. Here is The 2016 Aaron for Worst TV Show:

WINNER:   Scream (Season 2) - MTV

MTV’s Scream: The TV Series has officially become the first recurring winner for The Aarons... but that’s definitely not something it should be proud of. Despite the fact that Scream was my least favorite TV show of last year, I returned for the second season out of some kind of misguided loyalty to the film franchise I love so much. Once again, Scream is an affront to not only fans of the film series, but to fans of good television in general. Season 2 completely botches any potential the unnecessary twist from Season 1′s finale could have had, and, even with new showrunners at the helm, is once again a jumbled mess of unlikable characters, wooden acting, a infuriatingly stupid mystery, and an embrace of all the cliches its parent franchise mocked heavily. For just a small example of the awfulness that Scream Season 2 contains, there is one episode where the group of teenagers all hallucinate after drinking a bottle of tequila that was randomly left on their front porch (by the killer, unbeknownst to them). That’s it. That’s all that happens in that episode. That is the extent of the killer’s plan there, as no one is even killed as a result. Scream is some of the worst programming that Peak TV has to offer, and yet I know that next year Scream will be vying for a three-peat, as it was once again, somehow, renewed.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Damien (Pilot Only) - A&E

Another TV version of a classic horror franchise, Damien, which was cancelled after 1 season, was plagued by a dull lead, laughable horror, jarring tonal shifts, and terrible writing in its attempt to expand the world of The Omen.

Bull (Pilot Only) - CBS

Coming off as woefully misguided and desperate to look cool, Bull is several steps below the low standards set by the numerous other bland crime procedures on CBS.

Kevin Can Wait (Pilot Only) - CBS

Kevin Can Wait is hilarious...ly out of touch, with its pilot desperately attempting to drawn any laughs from its outdated format and concept of masculinity. 

Fuller House (Season 1) - Netflix

For those not blinded by nostalgia, Fuller House is a painfully unfunny and unbearably cheesy rehash of an already groan-inducing show.

[myhahnestopinion]

THE AARONS 2018 - Worst TV Show

I scream, you scream, we all scream in a series for Scream: The TV Series to get a three-peat in this category, but, alas, its 3rd season was delayed yet again. Regardless, here is the Aaron for Worst TV Show:

WINNER: The Purge (Season 1) – USA

The delayed third season of Scream may have purged this category of its repeat winner, but another horror-franchise-turned-bloated-TV-show has swooped in for this year’s (dis)honor. Lacking the momentum that carries the feature films through their own thin world-building and unsubtle dialogue, The Purge TV show suffered from unsure pacing, budget restraints, and an inability to reach its potential for expanding the universe. The show’s early episodes are the most mind-numbing, spending hours teasing relationships that lead to predictable outcomes in order to fill its unnecessary 10 episode order, leaving viewers to care very little by the point the plot finally kicks into gear. Still, glimmers of potential remain, such as in one subplot that saw a gang of women banding together to fight systemic oppressive forces on Purge Night, suggesting that the show’s confirmed second season might entertain, as long as it can purge itself of its lesser qualities.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Krypton (Season 1) – SyFy

Krypton’s main flaw was evident from the get-go: an inescapable sense of unnecessity. In a world with so many stellar superhero shows airing, there’s very little reason to follow Superman’s grandfather through bland political maneuvering, no matter the visual quality.

God Friended Me (Pilot Only) – CBS

With all the theological complexity of a “Share if you love Jesus” meme and all the same lack of emotional intelligence as a certain CEO, God Friended Me is not a show to follow.

Rel (Pilot Only) – FOX

Judging Rel based solely on its pilot seems a bit unfair, considering the lead can be quite funny. However, when that pilot is nothing more than a half-hour of the same “my barber slept with my wife” jokes ad-nauseum, culminating in a reconciliation that ignores the agency of women characters, it certainly deserves a spot on this list.

The Neighborhood (Pilot Only) – CBS

CBS’s latest comedy pilots are almost always amusing… in how bizarrely outdated they almost never fail to be, such as in its new show that explores race relations in an embarrassingly milquetoast way. 

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