#Wolfie and Tomcat

[faofinn]

No. 19 Body Modifications (Alt. 5)

@whumptober-archive

Fao and Harrison’s relationship had gotten off to a rocky start, that was certain, but after that they’d become hesitant friends, getting closer and closer as they got older. Hars obviously cared about Finn, about the family, and now he was living with Steve, he’d managed to pull himself together, get some half decent grades at school, stop drinking so much. That in turn made his relationship easier with Fao, who’d helped him through his uni interview prep. He’d gotten offers for a couple of places, which really surprised him, but Fao had told him sincerely he’d never doubted him. 

He often spent time in Fao’s flat, a way to get away from Steve without him worrying, and he enjoyed the older boy’s company. Fao had a no alcohol rule, but they had fun in other ways, watching films (and occasionally sharing a joint). They were sat chatting one evening that summer, not long before Hars was due to move up North, on the little balcony out the back of Fao’s flat, watching the sun go down. 

“I want to get a tattoo.” Harrison announced, after some time sat in silence. 

Fao turned to him, frowning. After the one he’d gotten on his wrist for Finn, he’d started an addiction, and already had half a sleeve on his left arm. “You do?”

"It's stupid, I know."

“No, not stupid.” Fao said. “What would you want?” 

“It’s really stupid.” Harrison said, not looking at him.

Fao nudged him. “Shut up and tell me.”

“An O’Malley.” He said under his breath. 

“O’Malley the alleycat.” Fao said with a grin. “It’s perfect, Tomcat.” 

Harrison had a fierce blush on his cheeks, not looking at Fao, embarrassed by something so childish. “Really?”

“Yeah. Why don’t I take you? As a going away to uni gift?” Fao suggested. 

Harrison had tried to deny him, but it had been no use, and soon he had a time booked with an artist Fao apparently knew. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous, but having Fao as a companion helped to get rid of some of the nerves. And after all, how bad could a tattoo really be? He’d been through so much shit, it hardly seemed like a big deal. 

He got settled in the chair, stencil on, and with Fao chatting away, they started. It really wasn’t so bad. Sore, and the vibration was kind of weird, especially on his chest, but it was fine. Like a cat scratch, when Apollo had dug his claws into his thighs. Going over ribs hurt more, but it was more that it startled him, and he grabbed at Fao’s hand in a rather undignified way. Fao hadn’t said anything, just squeezed it back wordlessly, giving him a little nod. It soon settled off again, Harrison relaxing back, and he was chatting away again. It faded into the background, barely even there, and before he knew it the lines and the colour was done. They’d been there hours, but it had hardly felt like any time at all. 

He stood up, checked it out in the mirror, and couldn’t stop beaming at Fao. It was red, and swollen, and it would probably hurt more soon, but he was proud of himself for actually following through with it. He went to pay, with some of his own money he’d saved and some Steve had given him, but Fao stopped him before he could get there, handing over the cash. Harrison had protested, but Fao had just looped his arm around his shoulders with a laugh. 

“My treat, for my Tomcat.”

[breadori]

Me overthinking Wolfie, everyone's favourite calico tomcat.

So, calico cats are always female, Wolfie, from princess and the pauper is a tomcat and also a calico. Basically, accidental ftm cat.

BUT IT'S ALL JUST TOO PERFECT.

Like did, from all the people that worked on this film, none of them know this? It's not some secret knowledge or anything. They cared enough in Island Princess to give Ro animal friends that actually would realistically survive that ten year time skip they do.

So why didn't they care enough to check if mak ing your main tomcat a calico would work, at least.. if you intend for him to he cis.

And then there's 'The Cat's Meow'

COME ON

IT'S A WHOLE SONG ABOUT HER TRYING TO MAKE WOLFIE FEEL BETTER BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO BASICALLY HIDE HIS TRUE SELF BY MEOWING, WHICH IS THE STANDARD FOR CATS, BUT HE BARKS BECAUSE HE'S A DOGISH CAT

How did they do all of this on accident.

Like wolfie is as cis as Liana and Alexa aren't a couple.

Like tbh there's multiple media in which the creator(s) have accidentally made a trans cat, by making a calico tomcat.

But just his whole character.. idk it fits too perfectly.

[azphen]

angel, baby, blush

angel; do you have a nickname? 

yeahhh uhh people call me Kitty, Tomcat, Lotty, LH (initials), Wolfy, Ghost… the list goes on and on and on lmao but some are weirder than others

baby; favorite color?

i LOVE red

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child? 

i had this cute little realistic wolf plush named Dutch, and i still have him -

♡ cute asks ♡ - - -  inbox

[faofinn]

22. Terms of Endearment/Nicknames

Part 2 to a fic we wrote for our very own MediwhumpMay! Enjoy

Part 1 | Part 2

What he didn’t miss, though, was the familiar face of one of his amazing colleagues leaning over him. “Hey, Fao. Didn’t expect to see you back here so soon, thought we sent you home? Don’t worry, we’ve got you now. Only the best for one of our own. I’ve got some pain relief for you here - oxy, don’t panic, I know what you can’t have - because that paracetamol isn’t going to be doing a lot for you, I’ll bet. Then we’ll get  you checked out, get you to CT, and go from there. Sound like a plan?”

He sighed in relief. “Yeah, thanks.” 

There was a moment of quiet, the nurses' conversations stopping. "For the love of God, please tell me this isn't Fao."

Fao sighed. “I wish it wasn’t?”

"Fuck this. I'm done." Finn muttered. "I'm done, I've had enough of this shift. I'm done."

“Finn!” Fao called out, but it wasn’t like he could go after his brother. Fuck’s sake. 

He took a moment outside the bay to compose himself, swearing under his breath at every deity he knew. With a heavy sigh, he returned to Fao's side. 

"You know when I call you dickhead and that's just your nickname? I bloody mean it this time." He squeezed Fao's hand, stretching to press a kiss to his forehead, brushing the damp hair away. "You're gonna be okay, yeah? I promise."

Fao managed a weak smile, still soaked to the skin and freezing cold. “Nicknames ‘ave gotta come from somewhere.”

"You don't need to live up to them, though."

“Mm, sometimes. Not my fault.”

"I'm sure. Where's the pain at the moment? Still bad?"

“Mm. Getting better?”

"That's good. Did you pass out?"

“No, don’t think so.”

"You sure? You've got a bruise coming up on your forehead, and you're talking like you're concussed."

“Pretty sure I hit my head, but I don’t remember blacking out. Feel concussed.”

"You're gonna be." He sighed. "I can't treat, you know that. The cons is coming, he won't be long."

“Yeah. Is nice jus’ having you.”

"I'll call mum in a sec, too. She can come and be with you." He paused. "You feel absolutely frozen. Have we got a temp yet? Not reading? Why didn't anyone say? Can someone get the bear hugger, please?"

“Mum’s gonna kill me.” He mumbled, as they set up the bear hugger to try and get some warmth back into Fao. It worked, and he definitely felt more comfortable with the warm air on him. 

"I don't blame her."

“Wasn’t my fault.” He protested. 

"I know."

He shifted uncomfortably, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. “‘M sorry.”

"Hey, hey, no. No sorry."

“Mm, still.”

"Just hold on for me."

“Yeah. The person I hit?”

"What about them?"

“They okay?”

"I'm sure they will be."

“Find out?”

"You're my priority."

“Please? ’m fine.”

"No, Fao. You're the priority."

He huffed. “Fine. When’s CT? I want to sit up.”

"As soon as we can."

“Ugh.”

"Don't ugh me."

“Can if I want to.”

"I'll tell mum." Finn threatened. 

“She’ll be on my side, ‘m hurt.”

"She won't."

“Might.”

Finn softened. "Do you want me to get Hars?"

“Shit. I was supposed to be home hours ago.”

"Yeah, he'll be worried sick."

“I left late too. Can I call him?”

"You'll have to use my phone."

Fao realised then he didn’t know where his was. Probably still in his car. Hars would be going mad. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Finn dug round in his pockets, finally finding his phone. Harrison had already messaged him, and Finn said a silent apology to the other man as he rang, passing the phone to Fao. He balanced it by the blocks, loud enough for him to hear. 

Fao practically held his breath as it rang, waiting for Harrison to pick up, probably crazy with worry. 

“Hars? It’s me.” Fao got out, as he heard it pick up. 

"Where are you? What's going on? Why's Finn ringing me? Are you okay?" His voice wavered. "Please tell me you're okay."

“‘M okay, ‘m okay. Finn’s with me. I, uh, I crashed the car, I’m in ED.”

Harrison was silent, the phone failing from his hand. He'd known something was wrong, he'd just felt it, and he was right. This wasn't fair. 

Fao heard the phone clatter, and he winced. “Hars? Tomcat?”

Fao's voice snapped him back to reality. "I'm on my way. I'll be as quick as I can."

“‘M okay, I swear. A bit concussed but…”

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "You're alive, we can deal with anything else."

“Yeah. Waiting on CT now, but not so bad. Drive safe?”

"I will. Do you need anything?" He'd already grabbed his Eeyore from the bed. 

Even concussed, Fao knew he wasn’t getting discharged that evening. “Uh, clothes and toiletries?”

"Yeah, I've got the hospital bag."

“That’s all I need. That and you.”

"I won't be long, promise." He said, fighting with the keys to lock the door. 

“Don’t rush, be safe.” He mumbled. “Weather is shit.”

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be careful."

“Thank you. Love you.”

"Love you too, Wolfie."

“Sorry I didn’t call sooner.”

"It's okay, it's okay. You called me."

“Always.”

He turned the keys in the ignition. "Thank you."

“I’ll let you drive, yeah?”

"I've got you on speaker, but if you need to go."

“Nothin’ is happening quick.” Fao grumbled. 

"We're doing our best." Finn shot back.

Fao shot him a look. “Shit service here.”

"Don't be mean to us." Harrison managed to laugh down the phone. 

Fao managed a grin. “‘Cause you’re not working.”

"Oh, is that why?"

“Yeah.” He mumbled, fidgeting with his other foot, still uncomfortable. 

"Be nice to Finn."

“I am really. He’s good.”

"He's doing surprisingly well." Finn called to Harrison. "I'm not in charge or treating, but I'm gonna ultrasound your abdo while we wait. I'm not having anything happen because of the delays."

“Mm, ‘Kay.” He mumbled, knowing full well he didn’t have a choice. He just wanted this all to be over, or at least the scan done so he could sit up and get out of the blocks. It was so uncomfortable and he couldn’t stand staring at the ceiling. 

"You're doing really well." Finn praised gently. "I know it's shit."

“Yeah.”

"Let me know if it hurts."

“Mm. Is not good.”

"No? It's hurting?"

“A bit.” He admitted. The painkillers he’d had had helped, but it was still painful. Everything was. 

"When I'm scanning? Or just your leg?"

“Both? It’s sore.”

"Alright, I'm sorry." He said softly. "Can we get some more pain medication please?"

“Thanks.” Fao mumbled, feeling pathetic.

Finn hummed, distracted. "You're gonna be okay."

Fao frowned at him. “‘M fine.”

"Yeah, exactly."

“Consultant soon?”

"Yeah, he's on his way."

“Okay.”

Finn looked past the screen to the nurse. "Can you just chase them for me? Did we have an estimate for gensurg or ortho?"

Fao whined. “Gensurg? No.”

"Uh, I'm not sure."

"Page them again. Tell them they've got two fucking traumas waiting." He grumbled, unlike Finn. 

“Finn.” Fao reached up for his brother. 

"What? Lie still, Fao, I'm nearly done."

“Gensurg? Talk to me.”

"Just give me a minute. Try lie still."

Fao made a frustrated noise. It was late, he was exhausted and sore, and now his brother wouldn’t tell him what was going on. It wasn’t fair. 

"Just a minute." He repeated. "Nearly there."

The pain meds they’d given him were starting to kick in a bit now, serving mostly just to make him spaced. It was still uncomfortable where Finn was pressing, but the pain in his leg was more bearable. He wanted to see what was going on, but he couldn’t, and trying to look around just made him dizzy. 

“Fine.”

Finn took a few more minutes, struggling to see what he wanted. He was convinced there was a lac, but it didn't seem enough to rush to surgery. That, and his pressure was maintaining. He gave a heavy sigh. 

"Can we get a space in x-ray?" He asked the nurse, shooting them a smile before moving back to Fao. "Hey, dickhead."

The nurse nodded. “Of course, I’ll speak to them. I just chased CT, they said there was just one more before him.” 

Fao looked up at his brother. “Finished poking me now?”

"Reasonably."

“And? What was the scan like?”

He sighed. "You've got free fluid in your abdomen. I don't know if you'll need surgery for that."

“Fuck, no.”

"You're concussed. You don't have the capacity to make those decisions."

“My capacity isn’t that impaired.” He grumbled. “But I’m not refusing. I jus’ want to talk it through. All you’ve done is talk over me.”

Finn softened. "I was just trying to see what you'd done. I didn't want to miss something and tell you lies. Your leg…your leg is probably going to need surgery too, but you've got reasonable response in the foot, so it's not top of the list.

He hummed. If he was honest, he’d sort of been expecting that answer for the leg. It hadn’t looked great even in the ambulance. “I know, an’ US is hard, but… it’s shit when I can’t see anything and all ‘m getting is half the story.”

"I'm sorry for talking over you. It's hard because you know the words we throw about, and - no offense - you're not quite in the right state to understand how we're using them right now. I didn't want to say anything you'd take the wrong way and kick off."

Fao knew that really, but being able to understand it meant that it was easy to take off the wrong way regardless. He nodded, biting his lip. “Yeah. It’s hard though.”

"I know. I'm sorry."

“It’s shit.” He grumbled. “I had a shit shift, too.”

"Yeah?"

“Didn’t leave until nearly ten.” He huffed. “Wanted my bed."

"That's shit. "

“Yeah. And now I’m here.”

"Now you've got me to put up with."

He managed a smile. “Yeah.”

"Fucking shit trade."

“Exactly.”

"You're not supposed to agree with me!" Finn protested in good nature. 

“Yeah, whatever.”

"Alright. How's that pain now?"

“Bit better.”

"That's good."

“Yeah.”

"Just let us know, yeah?"

“I will.” Fao murmured. “Will you find Hars when he gets here? Look after him?”

"He's an adult, Fao."

“And?”

"And I'll keep an eye out for him."

Fao reached for his brother’s hand. “Thank you.”

Finn took it, squeezing gently. "Always."

Not long after that, porters arrived to take Fao to CT. He really didn’t want to let go of Finn’s hand, but knew he didn’t have much of a choice, biting his lip as he let go. The consultant had arrived by then, and pulled Finn aside gently. 

“You’ve done great, do you want to step back now, let us take over?”

Finn’s anxiety had flared and reached levels he didn’t realise he had. He folded his arms roughly, his jaw set to make him feel stronger than he felt. 

"Am I going to have to leave him?"

“No, you don’t have to leave him. Just maybe take a step back from treating him. I’ll give you the rest of your shift off.”

"You'll have to find cover." Finn murmured distractedly.

“Let me worry about that.”

"Are you sure?"

“Yeah, of course. He’s your brother, we’ll cope.”

Finn sighed. "Thank you."

“Go on, you can go with him to imaging. Is Harrison coming in?”

"Can I go in with him?" He asked hopefully.  

“That’ll be up to them, but you can certainly go with him and ask.”

Relief flooded his features. "Thank you."

“Go on, go and catch up to him.”

"Thank you." He said again, rushing after them. 

They’d been quick to get things set up, awaiting Fao. They’d expected Finn to be there, but hadn’t seen him yet, and so carried on, chatting away to Fao as they did. He did his best to reply, slightly hazy from the meds and the exhaustion. With everything ready, they moved to transfer him across. 

Fao knew full well it was going to hurt, it wasn’t exactly the first time he’d done this, and pressed his lips together, trying to think of something else. It didn’t go well, though, as halfway between the trolley and the scanner he slipped, the slide sheet under him ripping and totally giving out under him. Of course there wasn’t anything he could do about it, and everything hit the bed of the scanner with a clatter, including him. His bad leg took the brunt of it and he couldn’t help but swear, the string of profanity a mix of English and Irish. It was a burst of pain that made his vision blur and his head spin. 

Finn had just pushed the door open as everything went sideways. He froze in the doorway, the nausea immediately overwhelming as it felt like the earth dropped from below his feet. He was frozen in place despite his brother’s outburst of pain, despite wanting to be by his side holding his hand and helping him. Even from across the room, he knew it was bad, beyond bad. Fao had already broken his leg, they knew that, but suddenly there was bone sticking through the skin, and blood everywhere from his pulled IV. He couldn't breathe. This wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real.

Fao hadn’t seen Finn, the angles just not quite right. What he did know was that the pain in his leg wasn’t getting any better, and there was blood everywhere where his cannula had been ripped out. The swearing stopped, trailing off as the initial shock died down. He felt sick to his stomach, though, his mouth dry with fear. 

“What the fuck jus’ happened?”

"We're going to get you sorted, I'm just going to get the consultant."

Fao whined, trying to exhale slowly and control his breathing, the pain just getting worse and worse. “Fuck.”

The consultant was quick to arrive, pushing past Finn. It didn't look good, not in the slightest, and he pursed his lips. "What the fuck happened?"

“I don’t know.” Fao mumbled. 

“I’m not sure.” One of the staff murmured. “Everything just slipped, I think the slide sheet went.”

"I need someone to page ortho yesterday, and I need as much fucking pain relief as we can get." He snapped.

“He’ll need a new cannula in.”

Fao could feel the blood running down his arm, tickling as it went, and he sighed. It had been a hard enough stick the first time, and now things were ten times worse. All he wanted was more pain relief. 

"You're fucking kidding me." He groaned. "Let's get some penthrox then, someone get a line in.”

“I’m a really bad stick.” Fao said, doing his best to focus on the consultant. 

He shot Fao a smile. "I was warned. We're going to get you sorted, I promise. We'll get that leg immobilised further, but I'm going to get you some sedation too, make it a bit easier for you."

“It’s bad, isn’t it?” Fao asked. Whilst he couldn’t see, he could certainly tell. 

"It's not great."

“Fuck’s sake.”

"The surgery is going to have to be done tonight now."

“Where’s Finn?”

"He's…he's just sorting some stuff out." Fao didn’t need to know where his brother really was.

Fao frowned. That seemed fully like an excuse, but he didn’t have the thought processing power to work out what was really going on. “Hars?”

"I'm sure he's here."

“Can I see him?” 

"Let me go see, yeah?"

“Thank you.” He said, forcing himself to take another deep breath and closing his eyes.  

The voices outside were familiar, and more than just Finn and the nurses. He headed out to find Harrison, unsure how he was actually supposed to explain what had just happened. 

Thankfully Harrison wasn’t hard to find, outside talking to a rather pale and worried looking Finn. The consultant cleared his throat, heading over to them. 

“Hi, you two."

"Can you tell me what the fuck is happening?"

He managed a wry smile. “I’ll do my best. How much have you been told? Why don’t we find somewhere to sit down and talk?”

He shot a look at Finn. "He's not been much use, which means it's bad."

“It’s a lot to take in.” The consultant said carefully, glancing at Finn. “I’m sure you know earlier this evening Fao was involved in a collision on his way home from work. He’s appeared a bit concussed, and we’re concerned about a fracture to his right tib fib, as well as potential internal injuries to his abdomen.”

"It's now a fucking open fracture." Finn managed, arms folded tightly. 

The consultant winced. “Yeah, which was what I was getting to. Obviously we wanted a CT, which we’re still going to get. However it looks like there was an incident during the transfer across; I wasn’t there, unfortunately, but, well, there’s no good way to really say this. Essentially he was dropped during the transfer and as a result that fracture is now open. I’m sorry.”

"What the fuck." Harrison muttered to himself. "So, the plan now? Can I go and see him before you get started? "

The consultant nodded. “Plan is get this CT done, then straight to x-ray so we get a better idea of what we’re looking at. Then ortho will be down to see him, but likely he’ll be in theatre tonight. He’s asked for you, so you can go and see him now if you’re quick.”

"Right." He nodded, chewing on his lip. "Look after Finn, will you?"

“Of course. Come on, Finn. We’ll go and get a cuppa.”

Finn nodded slowly. "O-okay."

He put a gentle hand on Finn’s arm, shepherding him away to the staff room, to let Harrison in to see his boyfriend. One of the HCAs looked up as Harrion came in, smiling. “Oh, Dr Cunningham.”

"It's just Harrison." He said softly, moving to Fao's side. "Hey, I'm here."

“Tomcat.” Fao reached out for him, relieved he was there.

"I've got you." He grabbed onto Fao's hand, gripping it tight. "You're gonna be okay."

He hummed, feeling the effects of the meds they’d topped him up with. “They fucked up.” He said, but he was grinning. “Oops.”

"You're in a better mood than Finn is."

Fao frowned. “Is he ‘kay?”

"He's stressed, saw the whole thing, so it's taking a bit of a toll on him. He's gone for coffee with the consultant."

“Oh. ‘m fine.” 

"Your leg got a bit more broken."

“Hurt like fuck.” 

"It's open now. "

“Oops.”

"Oops is right."

“An… an accident.”

"Yeah, but you're okay." He stroked the hair he could. "You're okay."

“Mm. Scan soon.” He mumbled, looking around. “Finn was fussin’.”

"Yeah, soon."

“Bleeding.”

"From your iv you pulled out."He said softly.

He frowned. “I didn’t pull it.” He protested. “But not jus’ that. Inside, Finn said.”

"Ah, yeah. That's why they're wanting the scan."

“Mm. Was prodding me.”

"He's a dick, isn't he?"

“He is.” Fao agreed. “Am I still bleeding?” He asked, trying to see his arm. 

"Ah, ah. Lie still." Harrison said softly. "They've sorted it."

“Oh, okay.”

"Just relax."

“Yeah, relax.” Fao grumbled. 

"Don't grumble at me, Wolfie. I didn't do it."

“Hard to relax.”

"I know it is."

“Sorry.”

"Don't be."

He hummed. “Hate this.”

"I know."

“Can you stay?”

"I'd like to see them try and move me."

Fao managed a smile. “Good.” Then he paused. “How bad is it? Be honest.”

"It's not great. You've had worse, you've had a lot worse."

“The bar is kinda low with that one.”

"That's not my fault."

“No. The opposite.” Fao mumbled. “Can I get a hug?”

Harrison leaned over awkwardly, pressing a kiss to Fao's forehead as he did so. "Better?"

Fao smiled. “Much.”

"Good."

[faofinn]

14. ‘‘I shouldn’t be worried about you, but for some reason I am’’ 

Fao had been working flat out. Surgical training was no joke, the hours were long and the shifts gruelling. He wasn’t long back from his first tour, which had been amazing, but tiring, and now he was back to the rigours of the wards in Birmingham. 

He’d not slept much that night, struggling with the changeover from night shifts to days, and he was looking forwards to getting home and to his bed. But that was a distant prospect now, he had a shift to work, even if he was falling asleep into his handover sheet. 

He had a headache brewing, and had just rested his head on the desk for a second, just to breathe, that was all. 

“Blackwood!” 

The shout startled him, sitting up quickly. He must’ve dozed off. Shit. 

A glance at his phone told him he was ten minutes late to the morning handover. Well, that was why he was being yelled at then. 

“Sorry, Sir.” He said quickly, grabbing his stuff. “I’m coming, I’m coming.” 

He managed to get through his meeting, though it was a struggle, and then it was straight to theatres. A mix of military and civilian patients, it certainly kept him busy, and he was shattered by the time it got to his break. He slipped out for a smoke, but it didn’t really help the headache, and he swung by the emergency department on his way back in to grab some chocolate, hoping that might help, along with the energy drink he’d shoved in his locker. 

Harrison had been on shift when Fao passed through. He went to call over to him when he saw the state of him. His frown deepened, notes forgotten, he stood, padding over to Fao.

"Wolfie?"

“Mm? Hey, Tomcat.” Fao said softly. 

"You look like shit."

“Charming as ever.”

"Are you feeling alright?" He rested a hand on his arm.

“Yeah, just a headache, you know how it is.” He murmured. “Got a bollocking for nearly missing handover this morning and I’ve only just got out of theatre.”

"Come sit down with me?" Harrison couldn't shake the worry.

“I’ve not got long.”

"Yeah, I know."

“Five minutes, whilst I eat this chocolate.” He said, caving all too easily. 

"Good." He grinned, leading the way.

He followed Harrison tiredly, dragging a hand through his hair. If his head would just stop pounding, he could cope with the tiredness. But he could barely think straight. 

"I'm sure we've got a spare treatment room."

“I’m not that bad.” He grumbled. 

"I know." He lied. "Just for some peace."

“Staff room’s fine, it’s only five minutes.”

"Nah, come on. This way."

“I don’t need a treatment room.” He protested, but didn’t have the energy to argue. 

Harrison pushed open the door, hopping up onto the bed. "How's today been, then?"

“Busy.” He said with a sigh, sitting next to Harrison. He used his teeth to open his chocolate wrapper, before offering Hars a square. 

Harrison took it gratefully. "Thanks. You look like you've not slept in a week."

“I feel like it.” He murmured, breaking off a piece for himself. “I did the overnight on call all of last week and it was so busy it’s killed me off. Feel like I’ve not been able to get enough sleep in between shifts, and now I’ve changed to days and it’s just as busy.”

"Been dizzy?"

“Occasionally.” He admitted. “But sod off, I’m just dehydrated with low blood sugar, so’s half the hospital.”

Harrison hummed. "Sure, sure. And how bad is the headache?" 

“Like someone is hammering a nail into my brain.”

"Any visual changes?"

“Stop doctoring and let me be miserable for five minutes.” He grumbled, eating another piece of chocolate. 

"I need an answer." He nudged him, reaching to steal another square. "What about feeling sick?"

“No visual changes but my dyslexia’s worse because I’m tired.” He said, resting his head on Harrison’s shoulder. “Bit of nausea, but the sugar is helping.”

Harrison wrapped an arm around him. "Any auras?"

“Mm, no.”

"Anything else you're not telling me?"

“I just can’t think straight.” He admitted. “I need a holiday, for fuck’s sake.”

"Can I do a set of obs on you?"

“No, because if they’re shit I can’t go back to work and I need to go back to work because I’ve already gotten in the shit this morning.”

"All the more reason I want to do some."

“I told my consultant five minutes for a smoke and something to eat.”

"I'm worried about you." He admitted. "I shouldn’t be worried about you, but for some reason, I am."

“I’m fine, I’ve got a drink upstairs and I’ll sit and do some notes.”

"Please?"

“I should’ve gone to the vending machines outside theatres.” He huffed. “Fine. Make it quick.”

"You know we've got the best shit down here." He grinned, hopping off the bed. "I'll be quick. Sorry, the cuff's cold."

“I know, that’s why I came down. And it was on my way back.” He’d been hoping to bump into Harrison, admittedly, but not to be fussed over and bothered. He’d fancied five minutes to rant, that was all. “You’re not getting any more of my chocolate, though.” 

"Rude. I'll live."

He had another square, letting it melt in his mouth as Harrison fussed. His bleep hadn’t gone off yet, which was a relief, because the way it had been squealing at him all morning really hadn’t been helping things. “You better.”

"Mhmm." He hummed, watching the machine. "Can you stand up a sec for me?"

“I’m comfy.” He protested. 

"Please?"

“I know what you’re trying to do.” He complained, but stood up. His back was aching - his table hadn’t been high enough for his last case, and he was paying for it.

"Okay, you can sit." He pulled out his pen torch. "Stare at my nose, just gonna shine a light in your eyes."

Fao sat gratefully, ignoring how his head span. “No, c’mon, you said a set of obs, and I even went so far as to give you the standing BP. Enough, I need to go back to work.”

"No." Harrison was firm. "You're not. Not a chance."

“I’m tired and dehydrated, it can’t be that bad.”

"You're still not going back to work. I want you admitted."

“Leave off.” He protested. “I’ll go home, if you insist, but I don’t need admitting. It’s a headache.”

"Surely you'd feel better with some pain relief? Antiemetics? Please, it's for your own benefit."

“Chuck a couple of paracetamol at me and I’ll get Alex to take me home.”

"No." 

Fao was about to argue when his bleep went off, and he winced. “Time’s up, I need to get that.” He said, frowning at the number on the screen. 

Harrison pulled out his own phone, taking the bleep from Fao. "Yeah, I'm overruling you on that one."

“Tomcat!” He protested. “Let me call them back?”

"I said no." Harrison’s voice was uncharacteristically hard. "I'm calling them, you're gonna lie back on the bed and let me do my job."

He stepped back, deliberately out of Fao's reach, and dialled the number. Fao's observations weren't terrible, but they were enough to worry him, especially with how shit his friend looked. He didn't really care if Fao hated him for it; he couldn't, in good conscience, let him continue working when he was so obviously struggling so much. 

He huffed, but his headache was much too bad to really give too much protest. He wasn’t going after Harrison, at any rate. He shuffled his bum back on the bed, swung his legs up and kicked his shoes off, feeling better for it almost instantly, though he’d never admit it. Guilt flared, knowing he was supposed to be busy, but Harrison making decisions meant it had been taken somewhat out of his hands, which he appreciated. Leaning back against the back of the bed he let his eyes close, listening to Hars on the phone. 

"Hi, it's Dr Harrison from ED? No, you paged Blackwood, not me, that's right. Yeah, he's not coming back up, I'm admitting him." He kept his voice low, aware it wouldn't be helping Fao. "Honestly? You should be ashamed of yourself that you let him keep working. Anyone could see he wasn't well, I could tell a mile off. Go ahead, it's Harrison Cunningham, I don't care. Thanks, bye now."

“Harrison!” Fao hissed, reaching to throw a pillow at him. 

"Hey, you'll need that. It's a luxury around here." He teased, passing it back. "I'll go grab you a blanket and get you booked in, too. Then I'll send someone across and we'll get some treatment sorted, yeah?"

“You’re an ass.” 

"I know." There was a hint of pride behind his tone. 

Fao rolled his eyes, but tucked his pillow back under his head. “I should call them.”

Harrison laughed. "You sound like every drunk girl on a Saturday night. Get some rest."

“Get me a cup of tea?”

"Sir, yes, sir." He teased. "I'll be right back."

“If you’re gonna admit me you could at least get me a cup of tea. Might as well milk it.”

"Might as well make the most of it. Want me to call Alex? Sheila?"

“Don’t bother Sheila, but call Alex? You can doctor at her.”

"Alright, I'll do that while I'm getting your tea, yeah?" He said softly. "I'll send a nurse through."

“Thanks.” He said, rolling onto his front to bury his face in the pillow. 

Harrison hummed, shutting the door quietly behind him. He grabbed one of the nurses, smiling sweetly and apologising for the extra work. He then had the fun job of calling Alex, so scrolled through before pressing dial, heading to the staff room for the good tea.

Alex had been enjoying her day off, having taken the dog for a long walk that morning. Now he was napping, and she’d been watching some TV when her phone rang. She should’ve been studying, but of course she wasn’t, and she reached for her phone. 

“Harrison?” 

"I'm at work, you can't yell at me. But, I may have just admitted Fao?"

“I can definitely still yell at you. What’s happened? Is he okay?”

"He's got a migraine, don't think he's been sleeping. His obs aren't terrible, but honestly? He looks like shit. Got yelled at this morning, apparently, for falling asleep before handover. That's not like him."

“He didn’t sleep last night.” Alex agreed. “How bad is ‘not terrible’?”

"Fluids worthy but not resus?"

She sighed. “He’s such an ass. He’s been struggling for days with his sleep.”

"I'd say maybe he'd learn from this, but I know better."

“He definitely won’t. He needs to sort his mental health out again, keep an eye on him?”

"Don't we all?" He sighed. "You know I will. I'm just making him a cuppa, he's had some chocolate, but I'll get him something proper to eat."

“Thank you. Are you expecting to get him discharged in a couple of hours?”

"Depends how he behaves."

She laughed at that. “Yeah, true.”

"Are you wanting to come in?"

“If I can, yeah. I’ll kick his ass.”

"Cool, I'll let him know."

“Look after him, yeah? He’s trying to be a hard ass but he’s been really struggling.”

Harrison softened. "Of course I'll look after him. He's got me worried about him."

“Glad you’re looking out for him. I won’t be long, let him know I’m on my way.”

"I will. Drive safe."

“Always.” She murmured, and said her goodbyes before she hung up, grabbing some stuff for Fao.

When she arrived, he was on his side in the bed, though sipping the tea Harrison had brought him. He looked worse than he had done when he’d left the house that morning, but the smile he offered her as she appeared had her anger and worry evaporating like mist in the morning sun. 

“You daft shite.” She said, settling next to him and running a hand through his hair. “You need to take better care of yourself.”

“I know.” He murmured. “Sit wit’ me properly?”

She was always a soft touch for him, and so she settled on the bed properly. Fao sat up as she did so, putting his tea down, and then laid back down again, his head in her lap. They’d already given him antiemetics, and he had fluids running, which were making him feel better, but Alex there was certainly doing the hard work. Her fingers carding through his hair, he was asleep in minutes, warm and safe.

[faofinn]

27. Sleepless Night(s)

The nights in hospital were the worst. The days were bad, sure, but there were more staff and you could look out of the window at whatever was going on outside. If you were lucky, you’d get visitors too. Steve, or Sheila and the others. Nights were no such luxury, obviously. Less staff, no view out of the window, no visitors. 

Fao rarely slept properly. Either the pain kept him up (and asking for painkillers was a nightmare with less nurses) or his nightmares did. There was a reason he’d ended up in the quiet little bay with Harrison, and he knew full well it wasn’t just because they knew each other. Neither of them slept, and the nightmares that woke them both screaming meant it didn’t really matter, they were both used to it. Add to that when they did finally drift off, they’d be disturbed for overnight obs. 

Uncomfortable, Fao shifted his weight in bed with a huff. No position was comfortable, and the room was too warm. He’d tried reading for a while, but one of the HCAs had told him off for having the light on so late at night, and to be honest he’d not been paying much attention to the book anyway. 

Despite Harrison's best attempts, he too was still awake. He'd had a nap of sorts during the day, which just made it so much worse overnight. It was harder on his mental health too, more difficult to keep positive and not spiral. 

He'd almost drifted when Fao was reading, the soft light comforting him slightly, reminding him he wasn't alone. Of course, that didn't last, and then when Fao huffed, he pushed himself up slightly. 

"Wolfie?"

Fao wasn’t surprised Hars was awake. “Yeah, Tomcat?”

"Can't sleep either?"

“Nope. Can’t get comfortable.”

"It's bullshit."

“You’re telling me.” He grumbled. “Pain, too.”

"It's killing me. I don't understand why they didn't let you read."

“Because I’m ‘supposed to be sleeping’.”

"If they were going to be so anal about it, then they should knock us out."

“Can’t do that, then we’d be drug addicts.”

Harrison snorted. "Exactly."

“Couldn’t have that. Our lives would be ruined.” Fao said, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

Harrison managed to laugh. Fao always made things better, and he was grateful they'd ended up in the same bay - he hated Fao had been hurt, but he couldn't have put up with anyone else. 

"Oh, fuck it." He grumbled, sitting up and struggling with the side of the bed. They always put the sides up like he was a child, and he hated it.

“What are we fucking? If you’re going to fuck something can I leave?”

"Come off it, you'd love the show." He teased, finally managing to drop it. It was a struggle, but he managed to get to the edge of the bed, groaning with the effort.

“Ew, no thanks. Sounds like you’re fucking that bed, Jesus.” 

"Piss off!"

“Can’t, they won’t let me leave.”

"I'm going to personally ask them to kick you out." He teased, finally managing to grab his crutches - they deliberately kept them away from him, knowing he had a habit of doing stupid things. 

“Good luck, I’ve been personally asking forever.” He muttered. “What are you up to?”

"Probably killing myself." He huffed, slowly getting upright. He swayed dangerously, falling back to the bed before trying again.

“Apparently that’s frowned upon.” Fao said. “Be careful, I’m not telling Steve you did something stupid and got yourself more injured.”

"I'm not gonna injure myself."

“Sure.”

"Shove over, will you? Need some room for when I get over there."

Fao shuffled over the best he could, groaning as it flared the pain. “Might not have room for your fat ass.” He said, moving his little eeyore out of the way. 

Harrison sobered up slightly. "I've lost so much weight being in here. Even Steve has been having a go at me."

Fao couldn’t help himself, though he knew he was pushing it a little bit. “Mate you lost a leg, no wonder you lost weight. Come here, I’m taking the piss. You’ll fit.”

"Piss off!" He snickered, trying to stay quiet. "You know what I mean."

Fao grinned, though Hars couldn’t see it properly. “I’m the same. It sucks.”

He finally managed it over, gripping tightly onto the side of Fao's bed. His legs shook with the effort, but he'd made it and that was all that mattered.

“Hey.” Fao greeted softly. “Be careful.”

His crutches were forgotten, dropped against the wall as he clambered into the bed. He was careful around Fao, making sure he didn't hurt him. He was more than a little cautious about his leg, keeping it well away from Fao. It wasn't like he hadn't seen it, but Harrison still hadn't come to terms with it or gotten anywhere close to it.

Delicately, Fao put his arm around him, careful not to hurt him. “That’s better. How long do you think we’ve got before obs?” 

Fao was warm, and the bit of comfort Harrison needed. "Mm. Not long enough?"

“Maybe they’ll forget?”

"Maybe they'll leave us alone again. That agency nurse was nice enough that time."

“I think they’re short tonight.” He mused. “But the nurse in charge is the shit one. No agency, either. They get paid enough not to care.”

"I'm not going to move."

“Me neither.”

"Chain myself to the bed."

“Sexy.”

"I'm sure you'd love that."

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

"No, I want to sleep."

Fao laughed. “Yeah, me too.”

Harrison was quiet for a long while. "I'm glad you're still here."

“What, that they’ve not discharged me yet?”

He swallowed thickly. "Yeah, that."

“It’s thanks to you.” Fao murmured. “That I’m here at all.”

"Yeah."

“I hate you got hurt too, but I’m glad you’re here with me.”

Harrison nodded. "Yeah."

“Got someone to keep me company.”

"You'd probably prefer the peace and quiet."

“With Sheila and Finn around? Doubt it.”

"They’d give you some space."

“Are we talking about the same family?”

"They'd listen eventually."

“I suppose that’s true.”

"Or just barricade the door."

“Wouldn’t get any pain meds if I did that.”

"Steal them all first."

“Oh, that’ll end well.”

"We'd finally fucking get some."

“Do you want me to get sectioned?”

"I'd go down with you."

“So we’d be two idiots.”

"What are we now then?" He teased. 

“Not quite idiots.”

"Right, sure."

“Well, speak for yourself.”

"Piss off."

“Can’t, you’ve got me pinned.”

"My plan all along."

“Sneaky.”

"It feels so much better being able to have you." He said quietly, changing the subject. "I don't think I would have made it this far without you."

Fao’s throat tightened. “Don’t be daft.”

"I'm not."

“It’s nice to have someone who gets it, who gets what I’m through. I know it’s not the same, but…”

"But we've got each other."

“Yeah.”

"And neither of us are going anywhere." He said pointedly. 

“Stuck with each other.”

"Good."

He sighed. “It’s hard.”

"We can get through it."

“Only way from rock bottom is up, right?”

"Or into the centre of the earth."

“That’s the spirit.”

"Of course."

Of course, they did eventually get caught, and Harrison ushered back to his own bed. The nurse that caught them didn’t seem to be upset, though, mostly just amused. It wasn’t so much of a hardship to lose Harrison next to him when Fao didn’t get shouted at. He managed to get a couple of hours sleep after that, relatively undisturbed by nightmares, and that was good enough for him.

[faofinn]

15. Frostbite/Sunburn

@sicktember

Fao wasn't entirely surprised to see Harrison’s name on his clinic list, the younger man often full of mischief and bad decisions. He didn't, however, expect the other man to be sitting so uncomfortably, each shift in position sparking a grimace of pain.

"Tomcat? Want to come through?”

He looked up and nodded, standing with a quiet groan. “Morning, Fao.”

Fao waited for him to sit before he spoke. “Right, what stupid thing have you been up to?”

“It wasn't my fault!” He started protesting, but quickly saw the look on his superior’s face. “I just got sunburned, okay? Johnson said I had to come in.”

“Alright. Let me have a look?”

He hesitated, and then slowly peeled his top off, biting his lip to stop the whine in pain. It felt like half his back was coming with it, but he had no choice - he needed to be checked out, he knew that. 

“Jesus, fuck, Hars.” Fao swore. "How the fuck did you manage that?”

He shook his head with a small shrug "I don’t know. I didn’t mean to.”

Fao softened. “I know, tomcat. Let me get some gloves on and check you over. It looks fucking painful, you must be in agony.” 

"Yeah, it's not great.”

“You’re telling me.” He muttered, pulling some gloves on. “I’ll be gentle, alright?”

"You fucking better be." He replied, the shake to his voice betraying his posture.

“Shout me if it's too much. You've got full permission to thump me if I hurt you.”

"Thanks." He said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Fao really was gentle as he checked Harrison over, trying his best not to hurt the other man. It really didn't look good, Fao worried by just how much Harrison had burnt. 

“Alright. Can I take some obs? Just a quick set.”

"Do you have to? Can't you just give me some cream and let me be done?"

“You know I can't. This could be serious if we're not careful.”

"It's not even that bad." He huffed. "Just sign me off and I'll be back to work."

“Absolutely not. You can't even sit properly.”

"I can. If I'd known it was you working, I'd not have bothered."

“Go on, sit back against your chair, then.” Fao said, crossing one leg over the other. 

Determined and mostly stupid, he did as he was told, jaw clenched. "See?Fine."”

“Yeah, you look very relaxed. Can I do those obs?”

"You didn't say I had to be relaxed."

“If you were comfortable, you'd be relaxed.”

"If I wasn't having to look at you, I'd be comfortable."

“Charming. I'm not that bad. Come on, to know this needs properly sorting.”

"Stick some cream on, I'll be fine."

“It doesn't work like that. You're more bloody burn than not.”

"It's not that bad."

“It looks it.”

"It's a second at worst."

“That doesn’t make it any better.” Fao said. “It’s extensive.”

"Doesn't make it worse."

“Can I just do these obs? Stop being a pain.”

"Yeah, whatever." His head had started to pound, draining the little energy he'd had. 

Fao hummed, moving to grab his obs machine. He took a quick set, and wasn't exactly thrilled with them. “Are you  supposed to be working today?”

"Not any more." He didn't admit it was because he'd pretty much passed out as soon as he'd tried to do anything, but Fao didn't need to know everything. 

“Alright. Have you eaten, drunk plenty today?”

"Yeah, sure."

“Any other symptoms? Headache? Dizziness, Nausea?”

"No." Yes. 

“Really?”

Harrison nodded. "You know I'd have been sick if I was really ill."

“That’s not what I asked, though.”

"Whatever. Can I go?"

“No. I want my consultant to come and have a look at you, your obs are shit.”

"Come on, Fao. Let me fuck off."

“No, not with your obs as they are and those burns looking like that. I want them looking at by someone who knows what they’re doing.” He said. “Just wait, okay?”

"You know what you're doing. I know what I'm doing. It's just paperwork." He really did not have the energy to continue dealing with Fao, or worse - his consultant. 

“Yeah, usually I'm the first to say I know what I'm doing, but these are burns. You don't fuck with burns. If I go and get my consultant are you going to fuck off?”

"Probably." He admitted. 

“Can you not?”

"I haven't got time for this. I'm needed elsewhere."

“You said you're not working today.” Fao pointed out. “Let me try and get a hold of Stevenson. Given I clearly need to babysit you.”

"Fuck you." He muttered. "Five minutes and then I'm going."

“You'll stay put.” Fao said firmly, picking up the phone. 

"Five minutes." He repeated. 

It took some trying, but Fao did eventually get through to his consultant and CO, and asked him to take a look at Harrison. This wasn't what he normally did, and he wanted to be on the safe side. Especially because it was Harrison. 

In the end, Harrison gave him more than five minutes, too exhausted to bother leaving. He couldn’t find a comfortable position, but each shift caused a rip down his back and just added to the pain.

Stevenson arrived pretty quickly, all things considered, and took one look at Harrison before sharing a look with Fao. 

“These are pretty significant.”

"Fao was just overreacting, Sir." Harrison cleared his throat. "Major Johnson wanted me signed off before I continued."

“When did this happen?”

"Yesterday, Sir."

“I'm not signing you off like this.”

"What if I said the day before?" He tried.

“That doesn't make it any better.”

"I need to get back to work. I'm needed elsewhere, Sir."

“If Major Johnson wants you signed off then where you're needed is here. Blackwood was right to be concerned. I'd like to keep you overnight, get fluids into you and get those burns properly dressed.”

That wasn't what Harrison wanted to hear in the slightest. It didn't help that the closed door had seemed to heat up the room, the temperature sweltering and difficult to catch a breath.

"I don't think that's possible, Sir."

“Why not? Please do elaborate.” 

He shifted uncomfortably, glancing at Fao for support. "It's just wasting everyone's time, Sir. It's not fair on them."

Fao was leaning back in his chair, arms folded over his chest. Harrison’s look to him didn't offer much sympathy, but he stayed quiet. 

“You're not wasting anyone's time. In actuality, the more you push back and try to get out of this is wasting my time when I could leave Captain Blackwood here to sort your admission.”

Harrison shook his head and hauled himself to his feet. He didn't have the energy or patience to argue, and apparently thought leaving was a better idea. 

“Harrison!” Stevenson’s voice was sharp. “You should know better.”

He frowned at the consultant, aware he was being spoken to, but no clue what had been said. He reached a hand out to steady himself against the door, but missed. 

Fao was up in a shot. He'd seen that look on Harrison’s face too many times before. “Sir! Watch him, he's gonna go.” He called, reaching to grab the pillow from the exam bed next to him. 

Stevenson grabbed Harrison, the younger soldier blank a moment longer before he went limp. He swore quietly at his stubbornness, carefully getting Harrison down. 

“He always fucking does that.” Fao muttered, crouching next to him to tuck the pillow under his head. 

He rolled his eyes, gently rubbing his arm. "Harrison, come on. Wakey wakey."

“Swear he does it deliberately just for me.” Fao muttered. “Do you want a BP?”

"Might as well get a full set of obs. Not like he can stop you."

“Yeah. Fucking idiot.” Fao said under his breath. 

Harrison squinted at them, realised where he was, and closed his eyes with an unimpressed groan. He was definitely going to get bollocked now. 

“Oh, back with us are you?”

He gave a small nod, humming in response.

“That's good of you.” He said. “You idiot.”

Harrison sighed. "Yeah."

“How's leaving working out for you?”

"Great."

“You really got far. Take a moment to recover, and then we'll sit up.”

As usual, he didn’t listen, too busy trying to be independent. He managed to get semi upright, and groaned, unsure if he was going to be sick or pass out again.

“Careful, careful.” Fao said. 

"You're admitting me now, aren’t you?"

“We were admitting you before, Harrison.”

He dropped his head. "Okay."

“We’ll get you sorted and get you back working soon enough.”

"Sorry."

“Don’t apologise, let’s just get you seen to.”

[faofinn]

No. 26 COMFORT (Alt. 8)

@whumptober2021

@whumptober-archive

It was flu season, and despite vaccinations and precautions, Harrison had managed to catch it. Work was bad enough with pressures, but after a few days struggling through, he had to give in and rest. Fao's place was the natural decision, and it allowed his boyfriend to look after him too.

Fao was only too happy to look after Harrison. He’d helped him out when he’d been ill not long ago, and he was just glad that his boyfriend had admitted he needed time to rest. He welcomed him inside, shepherding him into the warm.

“Hey, tomcat.”

Harrison pouted. "Bed?"

“Yeah, bed. I’m gonna make soup.”

He gave his boyfriend a grateful smile. "Thanks."

“And hot chocolate, if you want it. Go on up, I'll be up in a minute. Arrow's waiting to keep you company.”

"Thank you." He called back downstairs, voice rough.

“Anything for you, Tomcat.” Fao replied, heading into the kitchen whilst his boyfriend got settled. He started the soup off, leaving it to simmer away for a few hours, and then made a hot chocolate to bring up. It always made him feel better, and it was the least he could do.

Harrison had made himself at home under the duvet, wrapped tightly around him and Arrow. He was wrapped around the dog, trying to keep warm.

Fao pushed the door open with his foot. “Hars? I've got you hot chocolate.” He said softly as he slipped inside. “If you can escape your duvet cocoon.”

"A straw and then I don't need to move."

“You'll get too hot if you stay under there.”

"Don't start that bullshit. I'm freezing."

“When did you last have meds?”

"An hour ago?"

“Will have to wait a bit then.” Fao murmured, and put the mug down on the bedside table before he moved to lay with Harrison.

"You'll get sick too." He protested weakly as he curled into Fao.

“I'll be alright.”

"I don't want you to be ill."

“I'll be fine, don't worry about it.”

Harrison made a quiet noise in protest, but Fao was warm and he was too comfortable to move.

“Just let me look after you, eh?”

"Why do you think I'm here?"

“True.”

"I feel absolutely shite."

Fao ran a hand through Harrison's hair. “I know. You feel really warm.”

"I like that." He murmured. "Don't stop."

“Yeah?”

He hummed happily. "Yeah."

“I won't stop, then.”

"Good."

“You’re cute when you’re ill.”

"I'm not cute. I feel like I'm dying."

“Nah, you’re cute. Because you’re all snuggly.”

"I'm "snuggly" because you're warm."

“You’re cute.”

"I'm not."

Fao moved to press a kiss to the top of Harrison’s head. “Mm, you keep telling yourself that.”

He sniffed, and then let out a low groan. "I will."

“Your hot chocolate is on the side.”

"I'll have a drink and then I'm gonna nap."

“Napping is good. Just didn’t want it to get cold.”

"Then it would be cold chocolate."

“Not the same, eh?”

"No." He shook his head. "Marshmallows?"

“Yeah, put some little ones in there.”

That swung it and he slowly pushed himself upright. He groaned at the change of position, nausea rising. He took a few moments to breathe before reaching for the mug.

"Thanks, Fao."

“Anything for you.”

"Sap."

“Yeah, I know.”

Harrison drank the chocolate, savouring the marshmallows. Fao had always made the best hot chocolate, even when they used the same packet. He settled down to sleep after that, curled on Fao and as content as he could be.

Fao stroked through Harrison’s hair as he drifted off to sleep, glad his boyfriend was resting. God knows he needed it. If he was honest, he drifted off after a while too, warm and comfy with nothing better to do.

When Harrison woke, he felt infinitely worse. His hair was plastered to his forehead, but he was freezing cold. His body ached and burned, and the pain in his head was crushing. He pressed closer to Fao.

Fao stirred, aware Harrison was burning hot against him. “Hey, Tomcat. You alright?”

He shook his head, already in tears. "No."

“Hey, hey. Don’t cry.” Fao said gently. “It’s alright, I know you feel rotten.”

"I'm dying." He wasn't exaggerating.

“I know it feels like that.” Again, Fao ran his hand through Harrison’s hair, unbothered by how sweaty it was. “I’ve got you. You’re gonna be alright.”

Harrison shook his head, making his way further on top of Fao. "Don't leave me."

“I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

"Stay."

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise. I’m here.”

He nodded. That was good enough. He was too tired to argue any more, and slowly lost the fight keeping himself awake. He pressed closer to Fao again, fast asleep.

[faofinn]

I’ve Got You - Whumptober Day 7

@whumptober2020

Harrison's paperwork had taken longer than expected, getting dragged back in to see another patient before he could leave. By the time he did, he was exhausted, practically dead on his feet. 

He leant against the lockers as he changed, half falling asleep as he tried not to fall over. His jumper was tugged on haphazardly, his bag thrown over his shoulder and he finally left.

He sat in the car a little too long, head resting against the steering wheel and replaying the events over and over. 

With a heavy groan, he finally started the car, shaking his head to clear it. The route to the pub was like driving on autopilot, there within minutes. His usual space was free, rarely not occupied by his car, and he swerved in with a happy sigh. He'd be sorted soon enough. 

Fao ended up staying until after 10 that night, ending up in theatre with a case before the on call surgeon arrived. He was thankfully successful with that patient, and left feeling a little lighter. 

Once changed and ready to head home, he messaged his brother to say he was checking on Harrison, and not to wait to for him. He’d not seen Finn all day, he had no idea if he’d finished work yet, or if he’d even be at home. He might well be staying with Jess. 

Fao knew Harrison’s local haunt, and checking on him now seemed like second nature. He knew Hars had an issue with alcohol, but often if he showed up and chatted to him a bit, he’d at least be able to drop him home before he’d had too much. Plus he fancied a drink himself, and one wouldn’t be the end of the world. It would be nice to toast the patients he’d lost. 

He found Harrison inside, and ordered a drink before he sat down next to his friend. 

“Rough day, huh?”

He raised his head slowly. “Mm.”

Fao sipped his drink. “Doing okay?”

"Yeah." It wasn't exactly a lie. Harrison wasn't the one having trouble staying in focus.

“Good. Bloody on call took ages, I’ve only just got out.”

Harrison nodded - a bad idea in itself - and took another sip. "Yeah."

“Been here long?”

"No, not really."

“You get out late too?”

"Yeah. I'm going for a piss, mate." He stood with a groan. "Not doing this babysitting."

“I came for a drink, that’s it.” He said, watching him stand. 

"Bullshit." He slurred, eyes rolling as he collapsed. 

“Oh, fucking hell.” Fao muttered, standing quickly to grab him before he hit the floor. 

Harrison was considerably bigger than Fao, and weighed a lot more too. He was completely limp in Fao's arms and only barely missed hitting the floor like a sack of shit.

Fao only managed to stay upright by leaning against the wall behind them, sinking to the ground with Harrison. He managed to get him propped up, ignoring the concerned customers. 

With the world slowly starting to return, Harrison groaned. The groan trailed off into a retch, Harrison trying to shove himself upright properly.

“Hey, hey, take it easy. I don’t think I can catch you a second time.” Fao said gently.

"Piss off."

“Come on, don’t be like that.” Fao said. “Take it easy, I’ll help you up in a minute.”

"I'm fine. I just need a piss."

“Yeah alright, give me a minute and I’ll help you up.”

"I don't need your help."

“Sure.”

He struggled upright, trying to get his leg under him. "You're pissing me off."

“I just stopped you smacking your head on the floor. Next time I’ll just watch you collapse. Come on, Harrison. Be sensible.”

"I didn't ask you to be here, did I?" He snapped, staggering about. "Fucking snitchin' on me."

“Sit down, mate. Be sensible.” Fao said, reaching out to take his arm. 

He flinched backwards, knocking into the table beside theirs. They weren’t impressed, but Harrison didn't care, no apologies or a second glance.

Fao apologised, muttering at Harrison. “Come on, let me help you to the bathroom?”

"No, I'm going home."

“You said you wanted the bathroom, let’s go.”

"Why? I'm not going anywhere. I just need a drink, Fao. That'll fix it."

“How many have you had, Hars?” Fao asked gently. “Be careful, yeah? Let’s get you to the bathroom.”

"One...two. Not many. I'm workin' tomorrow."

Fao frowned. “You only had two? Promise me?”

"You're accusing me?"

“No, no. I know you’re always honest. You’ve had two, yeah?”

He glanced back at his seat. "Two."

“Alright, let’s get you out into the fresh air, yeah?”

"I don't feel good, Fao."

“Yeah, fresh air then. You'll be alright, I've got you.”

He shook his head. "I'm really dizzy again."

“Alright, sit down?” Fao said gently.

"I just want to go home, Fao." He clumsily reached for Fao. "Please."

“Alright, okay. I'll get you home, you think you can make it to the door?”

"I'll have to call a taxi."

“I'll drive, it's alright.” Fao said, helping him out the door. 

Harrison gripped him tighter. "Fao?"

“You're alright, I've got you.” He said, leading him over to sit down on the curb. “Out in the fresh air now, you're okay.”

After a moment, he leant into Fao with a shaky sigh. None of it was normal and he felt rotten. He just wanted it all to stop, putting on a brave face while he was terrified underneath. 

Fao put an arm around him. “You're okay, deep breaths.” He soothed. “Someone buy you a drink tonight?”

"No." He shook his head before promptly throwing up on his shoes. "Maybe? I can't remember."

“Alright, alright. Feeling pretty rough, huh? Maybe we should get you to A&E.”

"I only had two."

“Think you might have been spiked, mate. I know what you're like after two, and this isn't it.”

"Wasn't spiked."

“You sure? Because this isn't just you drunk, hmm? Two’s barely enough to get even me drunk.”

Harrison hummed, resting his head on Fao's shoulder. "Maybe, sure."

“Calling me a lightweight?” Fao teased. “Are you sure you don't remember someone buying you a drink?”

"We always buy each other a round."

“Someone you know?”

He made a soft noise. "Yeah."

“Mm, alright. You be alright if we go to hospital?”

"Just bed."

“Hospital, then bed. Just in case you've had something bad, check you over?”

"I don't want to. I'm a doctor."

“So am I. And I think you should probably be looked at.”

"You'll stay?" Fear flickered across his face. "You won't leave me?"

“Of course I'll stay, what sort of friend would I be if I didn't?”

"The sort I'm used to."

“I've got you. Promise I'm not going anywhere.”

"You got me."

“Yeah, of course I have. Still feel sick?”

"Covered in it."

“Think I've got some trackies in my bag, you want to change?”

"We're in the carpark."

“It's dark, it'll be alright.”

"No."

“Sure?”

Harrison nodded. "We'll just go home."

“Hospital, then home.” 

"Home then home."

“I'll call an ambulance…” He threatened. 

"You wouldn't."

“Would.” 

"I've got capacity."

“Sure.” 

He retched. "Watch me."

“Watch you what? Vomit?”

Harrison glanced at Fao, looking him up and down. "Why'd you do that?"

“Do what? I'm just sat here.”

"Oh. Okay."

Fao was going to say something when the door opened and someone stepped out towards the pair. “Harrison, baby, are you okay?”

"Hey." A dopey smile made its way onto Harrison's face. "I don't feel good."

Fao frowned at the newcomer. “Sorry, who are you?”

"We buy rounds." Harrison told him, trying to stand. "It's okay."

“Ah, ah, sit.” Fao said, but stood up himself. “You bought him a drink tonight?”

The other man folded his arms. "I do every time. He returns the favour, he started it, actually."

Fao's hands clenched into fists at his side. “I don't care who started it, leave him alone.”

"I'm sorry, but who the fuck are you? Harrison, come on. Let's go, get away from him."

“I'm… a friend.” He said sharply. “And he's not going anywhere with you.”

He ignored Fao. "Harrison, babes, come on. We don't want to be too long."

Fao stepped in front of the other man. “I said leave him alone.”

"Fuck off, he's coming back to mine. We always do this. He's an adult."

“Fucking back off.” Fao snapped. “He's not going back to yours. Another step and you'll regret it.”

"You've got no say in this at all." He leant around to Harrison. "Come on, let's get out of here."

“What did I just say?” Fao spat, shoving him. “Back the fuck up.”

"Who the fuck do you think you are anyway? He's never mentioned you before. You can't just take him for yourself."

“I'm a mate, what does it matter if he's not mentioned me? Back up or I'll back you up myself.”

"Easy, pal. He always comes back with me, I'll look after him good and proper. He obviously just had a bit too much to drink again."

“You're not taking him anywhere. Back. Up.”

“Harrison, come on. Lets go. You know me, know we have a good time, right?”

Fao stepped closer, once again putting himself between Harrison and his ‘friend’. “Leave him the fuck alone!”

“You’re making a fucking mistake, pal. You don’t know him like I do.” He held his hand out. “Harrison, come on. I’m not waiting all night for you.”

He looked up, frowning between the pair. “No hospital?”

“No, babes. No hospital, just us, yeah? Come on.”

“Don't know him like you do? No, I'm sure I probably know him better.” Fao snapped. All the nights sat with him, the tears, the anger, the breakdowns… From both of them. Fao owed it to Harrison to stop him going with this creep who'd obviously spiked him. Fao snapped and lashed out, dragging the other man back from Harrison and swinging a punch right at him. 

He stumbled back, swearing as he swung for Fao in return. “What the fuck? I’m just trying to look after him.”

“You're trying to drag him home to fuck him. But he's obviously been spiked and I'm not letting you anywhere near him. Fuck off?” Fao said, groaning as the hit landed. 

“He’s not been spiked, come off it. He’s just had too much to drink, he always does.” He spat at Fao. “He’s always like this, he’ll be fine once he’s had his time with me.”

“If you knew him at all you'd know he's not just drunk.” Fao said, and swung another punch, hard. “Leave him alone or I'll call the police.”

"And if you knew him, you'd know he likes it like that."

“So drugged he's got no clue what's going on? Sure. Probably makes up for a lack of talent on your behalf.” Fao joked. “Get fucked.”

"It's not fucking worth this. Do what you want to him, I'm done." 

“Good. Get lost.”

“He’s not even that good of a fuck.” 

“Whatever. Fuck off.” He growled. “I’m sick of the sight of you.”

“Fuck you. And fuck you, Harrison. You’re a cunt.”

“Only cunt I’m seeing here is you.” Fao said, and shoved him. “Get lost.”

With another muttered “fuck you”, he headed back inside, leaving Harrison alone with Fao.

 Fao sat down next to Harrison, breathless. “Hey. Sorry, he’s gone now.”

“You’re hurt?”

“No, I'm fine.”

Harrison frowned, reaching a hand towards the bruise forming. “You are.”

“Oh.” Fao said, glancing down. “It's not a big deal, doesn't even hurt.”

“I could make it better for you.”

He smiled. “I'm sure you could. But it's okay, I'll ice it when we get home.”

“No, it’s okay. Watch.” 

“It’s alright, yeah? Come on, let’s get you in the car.”

Harrison made a quiet noise, trying to push himself onto Fao, hands wandering.

“Hey, hey, enough of that yeah?” He said, and easily escaped his grasp to stand up. “Here, let’s get you stood.”

“Oh. This. Okay.” Harrison frowned as he complied, reaching for Fao’s waistband.

“Come on, the car’s not far.” Fao said, and looped his arm around Harrison’s waist.

“In the car then.” Harrison nodded, leaning into Fao. “Sorry.” 

“It’s alright. You leave anything inside?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Think you’ve probably got everything.” Fao said. “I’ll check tomorrow when I get your car.”

"It's fine. I can drive."

Fao laughed. “Yeah, no way.”

"No? Okay." He hung his head. "Okay."

“Much safer if I drive, yeah? Quick trip to hospital, take some bloods and run some fluids, make sure you're alright and then home to bed.”

"I am alright."

“Just gonna make sure, yeah? Who knows what that slimy cunt gave you.”

"He wouldn't give me anything."

“I wouldn't be so sure.”

"He's nice. You were a bit mean to him."

“He was wanting to take you home, I don't trust him.”

"He's okay."

“Let's wait and see, hmm?” Fao said, as they neared the car. 

"Jus' makes it easier. And he smells good too." Harrison gave him a dopey smile. "But you smell better."

“Do I?”

He nodded. "Yeah. 's nice."

“I probably smell like work.”

"I don't know." He smiled at Fao again, sighing. "It's still nice."

“At least you think so. Ready to get in the car?”

"Fancy car."

“Yeah, fancy car.”

Harrison slid in the passenger seat, leaning against the doorframe. "Done."

“Good job.” Fao told him. 

"Am I doing you now?"

Fao laughed. “No, we're gonna get you to A&E.”

"Strange place for it."

Fao shook his head fondly. “We're not doing anything.”

"I don't mind, honest." He reached for Fao again. "I can help."

“I know, I know. Not today, hmm?”

"I can though. Payment or something."

“I don't need payment, I'm your mate.”

"Just a mate?" He gave a sly smile, interrupted by a retch. "You're Finn's brother."

“Well, that too. Are you gonna puke?”

“Me? No.”

“Sure? Why don’t you grab something just in case?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Grab something anyway?”

"Me?"

“Yeah. Glovebox in front of you, there’s a sick bowl.”

He nodded, leaning forward to reach it. His stomach churned as he grabbed the bowl, but it was too little, too late. 

Fao winced, praying for his interior. “We’re nearly there. Should have given that to you before we started driving.”

Harrison gave him a sheepish look in between waves. "Sorry."

“It’s alright.” Fao said with a sigh. 

"You're mad." 

“Nah, I’m not. Shit happens.”

"I guess." Harrison gave a slight shrug, his hands fidgeting against the bowl. "I didn't mean it."

“I know. That’s why I’m not mad.”

"But I did it."

“It’s okay.” He reassured. 

Harrison whined quietly. It wasn't his fault he felt like shit, and Fao was obviously mad at him. He hadn't meant to throw up all over the car and make a mess, hadn't meant to do any of it. 

He'd blame it on Fao's driving if he could, but the truth was he'd been dizzy even inside the pub. He rested his head against the glass again, his eyes drifting shut.

“Hars? Can you stay awake for me?”

He groaned. "'m awake."

“Keep talking to me?”

"Why?"

“So I know you’re awake.”

He didn't reply, managing half a grunt before slipping. 

“Harrison? Come on, don’t do this.” Fao whined, glancing over at him. 

There was no response, his head falling forward. It took a moment for him to come back to himself, groaning as he propped himself back up against the window. After a slight incomprehensible grunt, he fell unconscious again.

Fao reached over to shake Harrison’s shoulder. They were close to the hospital and he didn’t want to have to pull over, but he couldn’t really leave him if he was unconscious. 

“Harrison? Can you hear me?”

Harrison was gone, pressed against the door. The bowl fell from his lap as Fao shook him, spilling its contents on the floor.

Fao couldn’t even find it in himself to be upset at the mess, too bothered by Harrison’s unresponsiveness. He was still breathing at least, he could hear that, and so he put his foot down and sped to the hospital. 

He parked carelessly near the doors and leapt out, struggling to get Harrison out of the car. He was bloody heavy, but he had no other choice, and he looked around in search of a colleague to help him out. 

At the sudden movement, Harrison whined, a frown settling on his face. He struggled a little in Fao's arms, finally managing a soft and desperate "no" as he slipped under again.

[faofinn]

Running Out Of Time - Whumptober Day 4

@whumptober2020

Clinic hours weren’t why Fao had joined the Army, but they were par for the course as a junior registrar. Theatre was where he wanted to be, naturally, but here he did feel like he was making a difference. 

Outreach to the locals was rewarding, and whilst it wasn’t his favourite it was still a good learning experience. A chance to practice his sutures, work on his bedside manner, paeds practice. It was what you made it, and Fao wanted to make the most of his tours. So he threw himself into clinic, and he definitely learned from it. 

Harrison had joined the army as an escape, as so many others did. He was never really sure what he wanted to do, torn between two many options and told he’d never be good at any of them. 

He’d loved it at first, the days long and tiring, but for once filled with purpose. It gave his life some meaning, and even messing about with his colleagues was fun. Daft and sometimes stupid, yes, but he was still young. 

Even during clinic hours, he’d mess around, often pushing the boundaries with what he was allowed to do. He’d been pulled up a few times for it, but somehow seemed to get away with it. Teasing the older juniors was the most fun, watching them get more infuriated with him before he’d cave and help out. It didn’t help that others were rather attractive and he wanted their attention, but that was just an added bonus.

Fao's consultant had left him somewhat in charge of the clinic that day, and he was already ridiculously busy. He'd not slept that well, typically, and now there was a stack of paperwork in front of him that needed doing. 

He turned in his chair, running a hand through his hair. “Harrison, are you done with bed three? I really need it.”

“Yeah, almost. I’m trying.”

“How much longer? I've got like four people who need to be seen.”

“How long is a piece of string?” He shrugged, gesturing with his hands. “I don’t know. They’ll be done when they’re done.”

“Not even a vague estimate?”

“Six years?”

Fao rolled his eyes. “Fine. Just find me when you've discharged.”

“I’m not trying to be a dick.” He softened. “Honestly. I’ll do my best.”

“Ah, I get it. Winding us seniors up gives you a kick. Just… Be quick. I've got so many people desperate to be seen.”

Harrison grinned as he left. “Nah, just you.”

“Twat.”

For once Harrison did as he was told, finishing his treatment and discharging within the half hour. He returned to Fao with a mischievous grin, loitering in the doorway.

Fao didn't even look up. “I know it's you, Harrison. And I know you're grinning like a Cheshire cat. Have you discharged?”

His grin widened. “Yes, your highness. All done.”

He stretched his hand out. “Paperwork?”

“Illegible, but done.” He passed it across, barely suppressing the urge to throw it. “Happy?”

Fao scanned over it - it was no worse than his. “More than.”

“Excellent. Anything else?”

“Keep treating, kid. There's people everywhere.”

“Shocking. It’s almost like we’re in a warzone.”

“Smartass.”

Harrison grinned again, almost laughed. “What would you do without me?”

Fao finally looked up at him, and leaned back in his chair. “Replace you with someone who talks less and works more.” He said, but his words were light and he was smirking. 

“Hey, I work.” He joked back. “You wouldn’t have that paperwork if I didn’t.”

“I know, I know. God, I swear I'm losing my mind doing this paperwork. What's it like today? As hellish as it appears?”

“Worse.” 

Fao sighed. “It's getting worse again.”

“Yeah, you’re telling me. I don’t understand it at all.”

“Me neither. People are going to get hurt.”

“We need to move on.”

“Like hell will we, though.” He muttered. “Just have to do our best for the people we can treat. Grab me if you need?”

"Of course. Shout if you need any help with the paperwork, though." He offered before adding. "Wouldn't want you getting a papercut."

“If I do, wouldn't trust you to put a plaster on it.”

"Ouch."

Harrison laughed as he left, shooting Fao a glance over his shoulder. He wasn’t much older than him, but he seemed to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. Not that he could blame Fao half the time, having to put up with him. At least he sometimes got a smile out of him.

Moments after Harrison left, Fao got a page from his CO. There'd been strikes in the area, they were expecting a load of critical patients and needed to clear the clinic to make space. 

“Harrison!” He called down the hall after the younger man. 

He rolled his eyes, arms filled with supplies for restocking. “What’s up, Wolfie?”

“I need everyone out. Now. Anyone who's not immediately at risk if they're not treated, out. Every bed cleared, everyone gone. Strikes, and we're the closest place for aid.”

“On it.” Fao seemed worried, and Harrison knew the last thing he needed was him being an ass. “Give me five minutes and we’ll be empty.”

“Here, give me all that.” Fao said, gesturing to the supplies Harrison held. “You go sort patients, let me deal with the admin shit.”

He passed it across. “It’ll be okay. You could run this shit in your sleep.”

He nodded. “Any patients who need to stay, stay, but try and move them to free up beds. We need-” Fao didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence. The world shattered around them, too quickly to realise why.

Harrison couldn’t breathe. There was a searing pain down his spine and his head was too sluggish to think. It took too long to place where he was, and he slipped before he could do anything.

It took Fao a while to realise what was going on. His ears were ringing, the air was thick with dust. His eyes finally focused on the rubble around him, and realised he was pinned. He couldn’t move, but he could breathe. Just about, it was hard.

Harrison next woke coughing, almost retching against the air. He blinked slowly, trying to clear his vision. It wasn't his eyes, he realised eventually, the ringing in his ears almost deafening. He tried shouting, calling to see if anyone was there, if anyone was still alive.

It was muffled, but Fao could hear a shout. Close, too. Even through the ringing of his ears, he could hear. Harrison? It had to be, he was the only one close to him before. 

“Harrison?!” He called hoarsely.

"Fao? Fao!"

He broke off coughing. “You ‘kay?”

"I'm alive." He shouted back, voice rough. "You alright? You hurt?"

“Think ‘m ‘kay.” He called. “Where are you?”

"Not far from you, I think. I can't fucking see anything."

“Trapped? Think I am.”

Harrison swore. "I think I can get out."

“Careful.”

He snorted. "When am I ever?"

“Careful.” He repeated, trying to be firm.

Harrison rolled his eyes (a bad decision only making the dizziness worse) and started trying to move. Something sharp stabbed him in the back and he cried out, fingers coming back red. 

It wasn't too deep, the metal pole able to be moved with a shove. He made it to his knees before he started retching again, the room spinning again.

“Tomcat?!” Fao called, panicked at his cry.

"'m fine." He groaned. "I'm comin'."

“You ‘kay?”

"Just peachy."

“Sure?”

"Yeah, yeah. You know the one that's been dropped? All bruised and battered and nobody wants it?" He muttered, mainly to himself. "Just like that."

Fao couldn’t quite hear, just groaned and struggled to move. “This is heavy.”

"I know, Wolfie, I'm trying. Can you move at all?"

“I think so?”

"Can you move your legs? Arms? You bleeding anywhere?"

Fao spent a few moments focused on his body. “Don’t think I’m bleeding. Everything moves, jus’... covered in shite. Ribs are killer.”

"Yeah, I bet. Glad you're moving though." He groaned. "I'm nearly there. My flashlight is shite."

“Yeah, ‘m ‘kay.” It was hard to focus on Harrison, now other people were crying out. The air was thick, and Fao was sure something was on fire.

"Do me a favour, Wolfie. Keep talking to me, whatever bullshit you usually sprout."

Fao sighed, though it quickly turned into a coughing fit. “Think we deserve a drink when we get back.”

"Just one? I'll take the case."

“God, absolutely.”

It was hard to see through the dust, and it was only growing harder to breathe. Fao was a welcome sight though, even covered in debris and dirt.

“I’ve got you. I’m here.”

Fao looked up at him, struggling. “Get this shit off of me? Don’t think it’s crushing anything major.”

Harrison tried a laugh. “Nothing major? Guess you’ve not got much down there.”

“Fuck you!”

“With what?” He quipped back, testing the weight of it. “Any chance you could help me give it a shove? I’m not sure I can do it all. But I promise - I promise - I’ll get you out of here.”

“Yeah, help me sit? My arm’s stuck.”

“Yeah, ‘course. What do you want me to do?”

Fao was busy trying to keep moving his fingers. “Try and move it? Then I can sit and help.”

“Sure, sure. You ready? On three.” He gave Fao a countdown before shoving it, putting his weight behind it. 

It took a few attempts, but it finally shifted, Harrison slipping with it as it moved. He gave it another shove for good measure, his feet struggling to get grip and not getting any further.

Fao groaned as the weight of the rubble was replaced with the weight of Harrison. “What're you doin’, Tomcat?”

“Trying to free your sorry ass. I slipped.”

“You ‘kay?”

“Course.” He grumbled. “Are you?”

“Yeah. Can help when you move.”

He moved slowly, feeling the grate of his ribs with every movement. "Better?"

“Mm.” Fao said, and slowly managed to sit up. His eyes had started to adjust to the low light now, and he struggled to move the rubble that was over his legs. His chest burned and the dust just made it harder to breathe, but he was so nearly free.

With Fao more free, Harrison swept the light over him. "Where are you hurt?"

“‘M fine, just bruised. Help me get this shit off.”

"Are you sure? I don't want you to bleed out on me as soon as I move it."

“Not gonna.”

He gave Fao a short smile. "You better fucking not."

“I won’t. Feel fine.”

“Like fuck do you.” He scoffed. “C’mon, hold onto me, I’ll drag you the rest of the way.”

“Not even dizzy.” Fao protested, but gripped onto Harrison.

Harrison winced. “Not there, move your hands slightly.”

“Oh.” Fao said, and shifted his grip.

“Much better.” He muttered through gritted teeth. “Ready?”

“Yeah, go on.”

Harrison nodded, gripping onto Fao’s clothing as he pulled. He groaned with effort, the pain only worsening and proving to make it more difficult. 

“You’re such a lump.”

“Thanks.” Fao said, kicking to get free. The rubble was heavy but he seemed unharmed, aside from his ribs and a few scratches. Breathing heavily (and painfully) he struggled to his knees.

Harrison extended an arm. "You alright? You good?"

Fao nodded, a hand wrapped around his ribs. It was a struggle to get his breath back, it was agony, but he eventually managed. “Yeah. Let me get a look at you.”

“I’m fine. Let’s just get you out and then I’ll see who else is in there.”

“No, let me make sure you're okay.”

“I’m fine, Wolfie. I wasn’t the one trapped.”

“I hurt you when I grabbed you.” Fao said, narrowing his eyes. “Give me your light.”

“It hurt because you grabbed me. We both got blown up. It’s no big deal.”

“Light. Now.” Fao said, trying his best to be authoritative. 

“Piss off.” Harrison turned away, hiding his face. “Can you walk out of here?”

“Harrison, let me see.”

“No. I’ve said I’m fine.” He snapped. “Now, are you walking or am I going to have to drag your ass out of here too?”

“I'll walk. Waiting for the feeling to get back in my legs properly.”

“Yeah, yeah. Take your time. Put your arm around me, I’ll help you.”

Fao looked up at him, trying to ignore the pain in his ribs. “Sure.”

“C’mon, let’s get you out.” 

Fao struggled to his feet, refusing to use Harrison for help. He'd be fine, he just had to go slow. 

“Hey, come here.” Harrison wrapped his arm around Fao’s waist. “Let me help.”

“‘m fine.”

“Then stop bein a dick.”

The world span as Fao finally stood, but he managed to stay upright and looked over at Harrison. “‘m up.”

“Yeah, good job.” He gave Fao a genuine smile. “You’re doing good.”

“Out? I wanna get a look at you.”

“Yeah, we can get out.”

“Unless you give me your torch.”

He narrowed his eyes. “We’re getting you out.”

“Fine.”

Mainly supporting Fao, Harrison started walking, stumbling over the uneven ground. Each jolt sent a shock of pain through him, only serving to make his dizziness worse. He had to get Fao out, he was the main priority. They could deal with him later.

Fao could tell he wasn't right. He was fine to walk, just slow, it was Harrison who was stumbling. “Hey, you alright?” He asked. “Lean on me a bit?”

He laughed quietly. “It’s meant to be you leaning on me.”

“Keep trippin’ and you'll pull me over anyway. Lemme help.”

“No, no. I’ll be better.”

“Come on, I can take you a bit.”

"Is that an offer?"

“Piss off.”

"What would you do with-without me?"

“Told you - find someone who works more and talks less.” He joked weakly. 

"Yeah. Hell, you'd be better off without me."

“Nah, you're a good one.”

"Sure, sure." It was growing harder for Harrison to see straight, his vision darkening as he walked. He just had to get Fao out, get him safe, that was all.

Fao gripped him tightly. He was getting heavier, and he was worried. He tried his best, struggling over the rubble.

Harrison stumbled, reaching out to grab at the wall. “‘m okay.” 

“Careful.”

“I just tripped.” He grumbled, trying to brush it off. “But I’m gonna be sick.”

“Oh.” Fao mumbled, pulling back.

He managed an apology before turning away, immediately throwing up. He took a moment to compose himself, dragged the back of his hand across his mouth and then returned to Fao's side.

"Sorry."

“Let's get out.” Fao said firmly, and managed to get them both out into the natural light. They still had cover, but it seemed whoever had destroyed the building was long gone. 

“We need help, there’ll be people still in there.”

“Yeah, I've got no comms or anything on me. Was all in the office.”

“I’ll head back in, see what I can grab.”

“No, let me look at you first.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

Fao reached out for him, but realised his hands were already somewhat bloody and frowned. “Are you bleeding?”

“A tiny bit. It’s nothing.” He shrugged, stepping away. “Just a scratch.”

“Let me see.”

“Why’re you so obsessed with me?”

“Because I think you're more hurt than you say you are.”

“You always say you want me to say less.”

“It's a joke, kid.” Fao said, moving closer. 

Harrison nodded. “Yeah.” 

“Let me look?”

“Nothin’ to see.”

“Sure, I'll be the judge of that.”

“You’ll be wrong.” Fao was having trouble staying in focus and Harrison frowned. “Will you just stand still?”

Fao’s brows knitted together. “I am stood still.”

“You look like a worm.”

“Why don't we sit, hmm?” Fao said, a hand on his shoulder. 

“You want me on my knees?” Harrison tried joking, shrugging Fao’s hand off.

“Funny. Come on, worried you're gonna pass out on me.”

“What would I go and do that for?”

“To be wholly inconvenient.”

Harrison cracked a smile. “Jus’ returning the favour.” 

His knees gave out first, eyes rolling as he collapsed. The pain and dizziness disappeared as his world bled into darkness.

“Oh, for fucks sake.”

[faofinn]

BTHB - Anger Born of Worry

When Fao left on tour, he seemed to take most of Harrison’s sense and stability with him. The younger wolf began causing issues almost immediately, quickly squaring up to Sheila and Fred. Even Steve couldn’t control him, or his wolf.

After a particularly vicious moon, leaving both Harrison and Fred bruised and sore, things took a turn for the worse. He’d started on Finn, rounding on him over breakfast. They’d scrapped over nothing, Finn ending up landing on the floor rather roughly. He’d yelped immediately, scrambling away as he tried to protect himself. Still, Harrison didn’t stop.

The Daniels were furious, struggling to believe Harrison would do that to Finn, the kid he’d always adored. He was kicked out, the rest of the pack watching him as he collected his belongings. It was clear he wasn’t welcome.

Theo took him in, let him crash on his sofa while Steve patched Finn up - while he’d done what he could at the clinic, but it was clear he needed their hospital. Harrison, being bigger and more prepared, hadn’t fared too badly; a few cuts and scrapes that would heal soon enough.

While Theo’s offer was kind, Harrison couldn’t stay. He wasn’t sure if it was couldn’t or wouldn’t, but either way, he had to go. He left notes, an apology to Finn and then the Daniels, a few notes he’d saved up included to pay for the broken plates and chairs; another to Steve, for taking the chance on him and him screwing it all up, like he always did; one for Theo, a quick explanation and a (polite) request to not throw his stuff out, not that he deserved it; and finally, one for Fao. He wasn’t sure if it was a plead for him to come home safely, or an apology for everything he’d ever done. A love letter of sorts, things he’d never say out loud, but since he wasn’t coming back, that didn’t matter. Fao might as well know.

He waited until Theo had gone to bed, the older man offering to stay up and chat, sensing something was off. He’d declined, lied until he was left alone. Despite the other wolf trying to wait up, he’d drifted off, giving Harrison his opportunity.

He’d taken food from his cupboards - old stuff, nearly out of date, things he’d heard Theo complain about. It wasn’t like Harrison to just take charity, so he left some money too, under his letter of apology. With nothing left to do, he shouldered his backpack, shoved his rolled duvet under his arm and slipped out into the night.

When Theo woke and found Harison gone, he called everyone he knew, panic clear in his words. Nobody had seen or heard from him. And then, he found the letters.

The pack was out searching as soon as Theo raised the alarm - Harrison was still part of the pack, even after his actions. Everyone was distraught, worried about him - it wasn’t the first time he’d ran off, but everything felt wrong. His letters held too much finality, too much goodbye.

When Fao came back from his tour, it was to the family and the pack in chaos. Harrison missing was worrying, and the letter Fao read made his stomach twist. He was exhausted, just come back from war, but he threw himself into searching. Of course, after he'd spent some time with Finn. Something about what Harrison had said in his letter sent Fao searching further afield than he usually would. He spent days scouring the woods as wolf, sleeping under bushes despite the cold and wind. He clung to every hint of a scent, desperate to find him.

Haarrison kept his distance, travelled North. He’d never been far from London, only ever travelling to the south coast on the ‘family’ holidays he’d had. There was nothing for him in the north, but that was part of the (pull) of it. He wasted most of his money on hotels, trying his best to find somewhere to stay out of the cold and rain. There wasn’t much he could do; he couldn’t work, had to be careful where he left his leg when he shifted too. He did his best to hide his scent, to keep the pack from finding him, not that they’d be looking for him anyway.

The food was gone quickly too, despite his attempt to ration and hunt when he could. The idea of fish had quickly grown stale, rabbit and pigeon following suit.

He didn’t dare to beg, though would often find some safety in sleeping in doorways in city centres, his duvet wrapped tight around him. He was caught out a few times too, woken up to someone trying to rob him and beat him up. Bloody lip and bruised eyes left him more suspicious, made him sit awake at night. His black eyes grew into dark bags under his eyes, his tiredness past exhaustion.

With the days slightly warmer, more crowds flocked to the streets. His usual sleeping places disturbed by foot traffic and prying eyes. As much as he tried to sleep during the day, every instinct in him begged him to keep moving, to try and evade any search efforts that might still be going on. After all, he’d caused so much trouble within the pack, they’d surely still be out for blood.

It took Fao a long while to even get close to finding him. But his letter kept him going, scanning over each word to try and find any hint of where he was. It took him much further North than he expected. He lost the scent, and had pretty much given up as he headed into the town, very much human, in search of a hotel room to stay in and get cleaned up. But then he caught a scent again, and whilst he couldn’t be sure, it certainly seemed like him.

And there, curled up in a shop doorway, was Harrison. He was curled under a filthy duvet, and he smelled sick, but it was him.

Fao stopped dead.

“Harrison? Tomcat?”

He didn’t move at first. There was no way Fao had found him, not this far away. He sniffed quietly. Well, shit. Not one to give up, he pulled the duvet further over his head, trying to hide.

“Harrison?”

“No.”

“It’s only me.”

He sat up slowly, breathing deeply as he tried to check if it really was just Fao. The others wouldn't be too far away. “Fao.”

“Hey, stranger.”

“What do you want?” He got stiffly to his feet, backed in the corner.

“Wanted to find you. Came back from tour and you’d gone.”

“Yeah.”

“I've missed you, Tomcat.”

“So what have you come to do?”

“Came to find you. Your letter… Well, I…”

“I said what I said.”

“I was scared I'd lose you.”

“I’m not coming back.” He frowned. “If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

“I'm not gonna kill you, don't be daft.” Fao said. “But I swear I've been wolf for like a week, I was gonna get a hotel room, grab a shower and some food? Wanna come?”

“So you can tell the others where I am so they can get me? Yeah, sure.”

“They don't know I'm here, and I'm not going to tell them. I won't tell them I've found you, if you'd rather not. But nobody wants to kill you.”

“Of course they do.”

“They don't, Hars. They're all really worried about you.”

He shook his head with a bark of a laugh. "Don't be daft."

“They are. Sheila's a wreck.”

“She hates me.”

“She doesn’t.”

“They’re not my pack any more.”

“They’re always going to be your pack, Hars.”

He scoffed. "They kicked me out. I deserved it."

“They told you to leave the house. That doesn't mean you're gone from the pack.”

“As good as.”

“Not at all.”

“I’ve said what I said, Fao. I’m not going back.” He squared his shoulders, clenched his jaw. “Just leave me alone.”

“Come on, let’s at least grab a shower, some hot food and sleep in a real bed tonight.”

He shook his head, though his heart desperately wanted to. “No, I’m not...I’ve got to go now.”

“No commitment. Have some food, a soft place to sleep. And then if you still want to walk away… I can’t stop you.”

“So you can kill me in my sleep.” He laughed drily or dryly whatever. “Yeah, sure.”

“You don’t trust me anymore?”

“I trust that pack will come before I do.”

“They’re not coming. I can’t even tell them, my phone is dead.”

“You can charge it.”

“Why would I tell them? I’m just here for you.”

“Because you all want me dead.”

“We don’t.”

He couldn;t allow himself the hope. “No.”

“I swear, tomcat. Swear on my life.”

Fao wouldn’t lie to him. “No, mate. It’s okay.”

“Come on, let’s get you warm and fed, eh?” Fao said, offering him a hand.

He flinched away; his back hit against stone and he groaned. “I’ve said no.”

Fao frowned, and stepped back. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know, I know.” He wrapped an arm around his stomach, protecting himself. “I know.”

Fao dropped his gaze, wolf body language taking over by default. “I’m just here to help you.”

“Honest?”

“Honest. I wouldn't lie.”

He hesitated, almost giving in. “I’ve not got any money.”

“Let me worry about the money.”

“I’m not taking charity.”

“Do I look like a charity? You're family, shut up and let me take care of you, tomcat.”

"I'm not family." He spat.

“You are to me.” Fao said, folding his arms over his chest. “Don't snap at me.” His tone betrayed where he'd been for the past few months, a hangover from his tour.

"I'll do what I want."

Fao raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say a word.

Harrison's lip curled. "What are you going to do?"

“Dunno. Figured I'd just wait for you to stop being an ass.

"I'm packing my shit and going." He all but snarled, starting to roll his duvet up.

“Okay. You want a hand?”

"Does it look like I want a hand?"

“Well, you seem to be making this a big thing. Bit dramatic if you ask me, all I did was offer you some food and a warm bed.”

"You only offered so you'd have the chance to hurt me."

“No I didn't. I don't want to hurt you.”

"You have to."

“No I don't.”

"An eye for an eye."

“Nobody cares about any of that crap.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I'm not lying.”

"I'll pay you back." He softened.

“If you want to.”

“I will.”

“Come on then. Food, a shower and sleep in a real bed.””

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” He said. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

“No, come on. We'll get you a good bed.”

He could fight it later. “Okay.”

Slowly, Fao offered Harrison his hand again. “Come on, then.”

Harrison shouldered his pack, then reached for Fao's hand. "Thank you."

“I've missed you.”

"Don't be daft."

“I really have!”

He didn't say anything. He still wasn't sure where he stood. There was no sign of ill intentions with Fao, but he couldn't be too careful.

Fao sighed, but didn't push it. Harrison was going to take time to trust him again. But he lead him to the hotel he'd planned on staying in, and managed to reserve a double room. They'd both have somewhere proper to sleep, hot water, and food that night and the next morning.

Harrison hesitated again. “Can I grab a shower?”

“Of course. You got some clean clothes?”

“Clean enough.”

“Grab some of mine, they're clean. And we can buy some more for you.”

“It’s fine. I can wash them in the sink.”

“No, Hars. We’ll get you some nice clothes.”

“I’ve got clothes.”

“Clean clothes.”

"They will be once I've washed them."

“Alright.”

“I told you,” he said gruffly. “I’m not taking charity.”

“I know. But there's a difference between pity and help.”

“And I don’t think you know the difference.”

“Of course I do.”

"Then stop pitying me."

“I'm not pitying you. I'm just trying to help.”

He scuffed his feet. "Feels a lot like pity."

“But Tomcat, you think anyone who's trying to help is pitying you.”

“Because it’s the same thing.”

“It's not.”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow. “Could have fooled me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“How far is the hotel?”

“Not far.”

“I’ve had enough walking.”

“It's not too far. But I can carry some of your stuff?”

He jerked away. "It's mine."

“I'm not gonna take it. Thought it might just make the walk easier if you didn't have so much to carry.”

“I always have to carry it. Otherwise someone would nick it.”

“I'm not gonna nick it.”

"You might." He shrugged his backpack on again. "It's fine."

“Okay.” It hurt that Harrison didn't trust him any more, but he didn't know what else to do or say.

Harrison could sense the pain from Fao and he sighed. "It's filthy anyway, I'm better off carrying it."

“Whatever you're comfortable with.”

"Not fair on you."

“Not like I'm not fit.”

He huffed. "Yeah, that's true."

“So I'm happy to carry if you need it.”

"It's okay."

“Let’s get going, then.”

He sighed. “Yeah, sure.”

Fao led the way to the hotel, trying to keep a slow pace so Harrison didn't have to rush.

Harrison hesitated outside, turning to Fao. “They’ll kick me out again.”

“No they won't. They've been paid enough.”

“Still, they’ve seen the state of me.”

“You look fine, just a bit scuffed up.”

“I look homeless.”

“Well, Hars, I hate to break it to you, but you have been living on the streets.” Fao attempted to joke. “Come on, take my hoodie.” He pulled it over his head.

“You think I don’t know?” Harrison snapped at Fao.

“Sorry, sorry. Stupid joke. Come on, just take the hoodie, it’ll be alright. You’re clearly with me, so it’s fine.”

“And what about my shit?”

“I’ll carry it.”

“They won’t let you in.”

“Give it here, I’ll shove it in my bag?”

“Let me carry the bag though?”

“Sure, so long as you don’t break it.”

“I’m not going to.”

“Good.” Fao shrugged his bag off and rolled Harrison’s duvet and other crap up to shove it inside. “That’s alright?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He swung it onto his back. “Thanks.”

“Let's go, then.”

“Right.” He nodded. “After you.”

Fao led the way inside, glancing back at Harrison to make sure he was still following.

"I'm not going to run off. Don't give me that look."

“But you thought about it.”

“No.” He lied.

Fao raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. They got inside, and spoke to the person at the desk. He shot them some slightly odd looks, but Fao spoke in a way that dared him to give them shit, and nothing was said. They were given keys, and directions to the room. They headed up, and Fao unlocked the door to let Harrison inside. “Here we go. Much better.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Do you wanna grab a shower?”

“Yes please.”

“Go on, then.”

He glanced at Fao before heading into the bathroom, backpack still on. “Won’t be long.”

“Harrison. My pack, please?”

“It’s got my stuff in.”

“Take your stuff out?”

“Fine.”

“Thanks.”

He shoved his pack towards Fao. “I’m getting a shower now.”

“Yeah, go ahead. Enjoy it.”

He headed back into the bathroom, dumping his stuff on the floor before stripping. He ran the water hot, used as much shampoo and bodywash as he could, and just stood under the stream. It was a stark difference from his previous attempts at a shower, a hurried wash in the mcdonalds toilets. After washing his hair and body, he slumped down, sliding until he was sat on the shower floor. His head in his hands, he let himself cry, all his emotions coming to a head.

Fao gave Harrison plenty of time in the shower. He deserved his privacy, and it was no doubt the first shower he'd had in far too long. He sorted through the other wolf's stuff, only to neatly fold it for now. He'd go through and wash it later for him. Even the duvet could be washed, he was sure. Of course he wanted to bring Harrison home, but if he chose to keep living this way, the best he could do was make him more comfortable.

Harrison eventually emerged from the bathroom, hair still dripping and a mess on his head. He was in slightly cleaner clothes, his others having also had a wash. When he saw Fao, his lip curled.

"I told you not to touch my stuff."

“I just folded them for you.” Fao said, guarded. “That way you can pick out what wants washing and if anything needs fixing. It didn't seem right, just leaving it in a pile on the floor. It's all there, you can check it for yourself."

"It's not yours to touch."

“Look, sorry. I was only trying to help.”

"I didn't ask for your help!" He shot back, his wavering voice betraying him. "I didn't ask for any of it."

“Look, I don't know what the fuck happened back home, I don't care, but I'm your pack and I'm your family and we help eachother out when we end up in the shit! I'm not long back from fucking Afghanistan, and yet here I am with you, because I'm not just going to walk past and leave you to suffer. So get your head out of your ass and just let me help, for fuck's sake. It's not pity, it's not charity, it's me helping a friend. And I'm sorry I touched your stuff, I am. But I was only trying to make your life easier!”

Harrison didn’t say anything, visibly shrinking back on himself, his lip trembling. He turned away, grabbing his clothes and stuffing them haphazardly into his bag.

Fao softened, and stepped back. He'd gone too far, he knew he had, but Harrison was just so frustrating. It didn't help just how worried he was about him.

“Look, Tomcat, I'm sorry…”

He shook his head, his wet clothes shoved on top. "Don't."

“Don't go. I'll leave you be, the room is yours. Don't have to see my stupid face. But take it, sleep in a real bed, eat real food. For your own health.”

"It's fine." He tried to slink past Fao. "I'm fine."

“No, Hars, you're not fine.”

"I am."

“You're so far from fine it hurts. I read your letter, I really thought I was never going to see you again. I thought I'd lost you. Please, don't go…”

He stopped, finally looking at Fao. "You weren't meant to find me."

“And yet I did.” Fao said, stepping closer. “Come on, don't throw it all in now.”

"I can't." He shook his head, clenched his jaw to try and stop the tears that threatened again. "It's already over."

Fao couldn't help himself, he pulled Harrison in for a hug, crushing him against his chest. “Oh, Tomcat, nothing is ever over.”

[faofinn]

BTHB - Wiping the Other's Tears Away

Fao couldn't help himself, he pulled Harrison in for a hug, crushing him against his chest. “Oh, Tomcat, nothing is ever over.”

He stiffened. "It is."

“No. Come on, you of all people know things can and will get better. Look at where we came from, look at the family we have now.”

Harrison's body trembled as he sobbed, gripping Fao tighter. "They're gone."

“No, they're not. Not at all. They're so worried about you, Hars. Sheila is beside herself. I'd barely even gotten off the plane before she was all over me, asking me if you'd reached out, desperate to know if you were safe.”

"You're lying." He managed, though barely believed it himself. "They hate me."

“No, I don't lie.”

"They hate me." He repeated through sobs.

“No, they don't. Sheila will be so relieved you're safe. That you're alive.”

He shook his head, gripping onto Fao. "No."

“Yeah. We thought you were dead.”

He sniffed, trying to catch his breath. "I wish I was."

“I know, I know.” Fao soothed.

Harrison took a moment, trying to get his breathing back under control. His own wolf itched to be out, unhappy at the uncomfortable situation. "I'm glad you're safe."

Fao hummed. “I'm absolutely fine. Is that what all this is about, eh?”

He swallowed thickly. He wasn't going to admit that, he wouldn't ever admit that.

Harrison’s silence told Fao all he needed to know. “Oh, Tomcat.” He breathed.

His sobs grew harder and he buried his face in Fao's neck. He had no reason to be so nice to him. He'd hurt his brother, ruined the family. Fao should have hated him, not pulled him in for a hug, nor tried to help him.

Fao rubbed his back. “Hey, hey. It's alright, come on now. It'll all be okay. You're okay. I've got you.”

Harrison pulled away, stumbling back to sit on the bed. He reached for Fao though, an olive branch, the best part of an apology he'd give.

Fao sat with him, wrapped his arm around him as he reached up to wipe Harrison’s tears with his thumb. “There we go, you're alright.”

He didn’t pull away. "How long are you staying?"

“As long as you need.”

"That's not what I meant."

“How long am I in the country?”

He nodded; he couldn't bring himself to ask properly.

“I've got nothing on the horizon. So, a fair while. Six months, at least.”

"Six.." It wasn't enough.

“Easily longer. I have to sign up, so… I can take a break. Still gotta train, but…”

"Don't stop for me."

“It's not stopping. I need a rest period anyway.”

"That's just saying it a different way."

“Sure, either way. I'm back now.”

"You'll be gone soon enough."

“It's my job, Hars. But I'll be in the clinic and the hospital now, for a while. It's only the reserves, it's not forever.”

"Until you get hurt."

“I'm not going to get hurt.”

He rolled his eyes. “You can’t promise that.”

“I know. But I’m careful.”

“I know.”

“And I’ll have the best people looking after me if I do get hurt.”

"That's not what I mean." He snapped, tears falling harder.

“What do you mean? Explain it so I can help?”

"Just don't go."

“It’s not quite that simple, Hars.”

“Please.” He turned to face him properly. “Please don’t go.”

“I still have to train, but I’ll take a break.”

“Just please don’t go back.”

“I’ll take some time.”

“Please.”

“You could always call me, yknow?”

“My phone’s fucked.”

“If you were back with Sheila.”

He stiffened. “I’m not going back.”

“Come on, they want you back.”

“I’m not going.”

“Okay. You're gonna walk away from the pack?”

"It's already over."

“Except I've told you it's not.”

“You weren’t there!”

“I know. But I came home to it, I spoke to Sheila.”

“And you could just be lying to me.”

“Call her yourself.”

"Fine." He gritted his teeth.

“You're family.”

“I was.”

“There's no was about family.” Fao said, and pulled away to plug his phone in.

"There is. That's why we're with Sheila. Why I was with Sheila."

“The people who raised us aren't family. The pack is family, Sheila is family. Family's more than just blood.”

“I guess.” He frowned. “But they don’t want me in their pack.”

“They do, Harrison. Of course they do.”

“I hurt Finn.” He whispered.

“Yeah, you made a mistake. But Finn’s okay, and everyone knows it wasn’t you.”

“But it was. I did it.”

“But you weren’t yourself. Scraps happen, we all make mistakes.”

"My whole life is a mistake."

“That’s not true.”

“It is.” He said quietly. “My parents were right.”

“No, Harrison. They weren’t. You’re so much more than them.”

He shook his head. “I hurt Finn.”

“You made a mistake. Just apologise to Finn and move on, he’s okay.”

"How badly did I hurt him?" He barely dared to ask.

“He had to go to the hospital, Steve wanted to be cautious, but he was okay. Broken ribs and a broken bone in his arm. Nothing too dramatic.”

Harrison made a quiet, pained noise. "I fucked it up. I fucked it all up."

“No, you didn’t.”

"I did, I really did."

“He healed just fine.”

"Physically."

“He was upset, but just worried about you.”

Harrison shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it anymore, it just hurt too much.

“I know. It's alright.”

It wasn't alright. He didn't see how it could ever be alright.

“We'll go home, you can apologise to everyone there. And then it'll be okay.”

He leaned into Fao and nodded. He didn't have the energy to refuse, and as much as he tried to deny it, he missed the pack.

“I’ve got you.”

"I'm sorry."

“It's okay.”

"I really am."

“I know you are, I know.”

He was quiet again, his breathing slowly growing more steady. "Do they know?"

“That you're here?”

He shook his head. "That 'm sorry."

“I’m sure they do, but you’d do best telling them yourself.”

His breath hitched. "What if they don't listen?"

“You know they always listen.”

"But what if they don't?"

“It’s Sheila. She’d help you hide a body if you needed to.”

"She doesn't control the pack."

“Of course she does.”

"She doesn't control everyone."

“She’s Sheila.”

"She'd rip me apart."

“It’s fine, Hars. We’ll go back together and you can see the pack.”

He laughed humorlessly. "You'll protect me?"

“Yeah. Don't you know I'm a big tough soldier now?”

Harrison let out a proper laugh. "Tough, maybe."

“Rude.”

He reached for Fao's hand, gripping it tight. "I'm sorry."

“Let's stay here tonight, yeah? And we'll see what we're gonna do in the morning.”

"Okay."

“Get some food. When was the last time you ate?”

He shrugged. "Not too long ago."

“Long enough.”

"It's useful being wolf."

“Mm. Can I grab a shower and then we can get some food?”

“Sure.”

Fao nodded and pulled away to shower. It was nice, after a long while searching for Harrison as a wolf. He was quick, worried Harrison would leave or pull something stupid. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust him, he just knew him too well.

Despite himself, he’d fallen asleep, curled around his backpack. The bed was comfier than he’d expected and had drifted off almost as soon as Fao had got in the shower. His hair was still wet, still dripping down his back, but he was warm and content.

When Fao got out, he was surprised to see Harrison curled up asleep on the bed. With a shake of his head, he quietly got dressed. Poor Hars must be absolutely exhausted, he didn’t blame him for falling asleep.

Harrison stirred as Fao dressed, rubbing his eyes. “Did you shower?”

“Yeah, I did. You have a nice nap?”

"Wasn't even asleep."

“Yeah, okay. Wanna grab some food?”

"Yeah." He frowned. "I've not got any more cash."

“You can pay me back when you get some next.”

"Nowhere's hiring right now."

“I can wait.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You want me to keep an eye out for you?”

“I’ve looked everywhere. Nobody wants a wolf.”

“I’ll see if I can find somewhere. But don’t worry about the money. You can pay me back whenever.”

“Thanks.” He muttered quietly.

“I’d say don’t bother paying me back at all, but I know you’ll refuse.”

“Of course I’d refuse.”

“So it can be an open IOU. Hell, just buy me dinner next time you can.”

“Alright. I can do that.”

“Good. I'm hungry, and I bet you are too. Let's eat.”

“I don’t need much.”

“You can have as much as you want. I sure am.”

“It’s okay. A meal deal or something will be more than enough.”

“No, come on, we’re getting a good, hot meal.”

“It’s okay.” Harrison protested.

“Well, I want hot food, so…”

"Fine."

“Might as well.”

"I guess."

Fao hummed and shoved his wallet into his pocket. “You ready to go?”

He shrugged. "Yeah."

“We won't be too long, then you can get some proper sleep.”

“I already slept.” He argued as they headed down the corridor. "And I ate earlier."

Harrison kept up his protests as they found somewhere to eat. He checked the menu several times before finally agreeing to let Fao pay for it. The restaurant smelled amazing, almost overwhelming for his wolf, and his stomach growled loudly. So much for saying he'd eaten recently.

He savoured every bite, eating as slowly as he could, his wolf screaming in protest - he didn't know when his next meal would be, he should be eating as much and as fast as he could. Fao chatted away as he ate, in between large mouthfuls of good food. When Fao got seconds, Harrison was torn. There was an ache in his stomach that had come from the week with barely anything, but his pride bristled. He was already in Fao’s debt. Fao kept persuading gently, and when he refused, ordered for him anyway. He didn't need to be wolf to read Harrison’s mind.

Dessert was another thing - Fao, of course, ordered something. After a quick glance at Harrison, he got the other wolf one too. Just a simple warm sponge, but it had to help the cold in his bones. Fao had only been wolf for a week, living rougher than he was used to, he couldn't imagine how Harrison felt.

As the evening dragged on, Harrison slowly warmed to him again. He'd missed Fao. He had been everything to him and then he'd just left. Of course Harrison knew that he'd had to go, that it was for work and he didn't have a choice. And of course, Harrison was proud of him. So, so proud. He just couldn't tell him yet.

The other customers stared at them, Harrison could feel it and he knew Fao could too. It was easy to see why; it wasn't normal to see a well dressed young man with another who was still very obviously homeless. While Fao held an air of authority, commanding attention in any room he walked in to, Harrison did the opposite. People averted their gaze or stared on in disgust, they'd walk in to him on the street, ignoring his simple questions when he'd ask for directions or the time. Even in the restaurant the stigma followed them, customers giving Harrison a wide berth as they passed, almost as if they were afraid they'd catch something.

Fao's joke about Harrison’s hair being longer than his didn't go down well, just another reminder of how far he'd fallen.

As their plates were cleared, Harrison dug about in his pockets, pulling out his old, almost a brick of a phone. It wasn't his normal phone, that one had ended up being sold before it could be stolen. It wasn't worth much, but he offered it to Fao as payment. Of course the other wolf refused, rolling his eyes and telling Harrison not to be daft. He took it from him though, checked the charger needed, and promised Harrison they'd go grab a charger so at least they'd be able to keep in touch. After a little protest, he gave in, agreeing to nip to the shop with Fao.

It wasn't far, the perks of it being a small town. Security on the door gave Harrison an odd look - he'd been caught trying to go through their bins a few times, and kicked out from their doorway more than once. With Fao by his side though, it seemed he could do anything. He gave him a grateful smile.

Fao grabbed a trolley-full of snacks and drinks, and then as a second thought, some quick meals. Harrison would be going back with him, he was certain. Hopefully.

Despite Harrison’s protests, he headed to the clothes section too - the clothes the other man wore weren’t dirty, but he could definitely do with some that weren't threadbare and holey, and that hadn't been washed in the sink of public bathrooms for months.

The longer they spent in the shop, the quieter Harrison became, only occasionally piping up with suggestions. His first aid kit was sorely lacking, his medications nearly all gone. Fao meant he wasn't going to be kicked out - and he didn't have to steal. Fao was happy to oblige; if Harrison was going to stay away, he needed to be able to take care and look after himself.

While Fao checked out, Harrison braced himself against the trolley. The lack of continuous interruptions from Fao only made him grow more and more tired, almost falling asleep standing up.

Fao was glad Harrison was finally letting him look after him. As they shopped, and Harrison grew more and more tired, Fao shot him a small smile. Braced against the trolley, he looked to be basically sleep walking. They’d gotten what they needed now, and it was getting late. Fao felt just as exhausted as Harrison looked. Resting a hand on his back, he ushered him to the tills.

They paid, shoved everything into their bags, and headed back to the hotel. They still got looks, but Fao countered them with his own, and hoped they didn’t bother Harrison too much. He’d be better in some new clothes, for sure.

Back in their room and away from the prying eyes of the general public, Fao tidied their things away, and flopped onto the bed with a sigh.

“Everything’s sorted now. Do you want to get some sleep before you pass out on me?”

“Not even tired.” He protested, running a hand through his hair.

“Sure.”

“Not a bit.” He said again, sinking onto the chair by the bed.

“Come sit on the bed?”

"I'm okay here."

“You don’t look comfy.”

“It’s better than the floor.”

“Beds exist for a reason.”

"So do chairs."

“Beds are for sleeping.”

"Fine. Shove over."

[faofinn]

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Whumptober Day 16

References to Day 13/18/29. Set some time after Day 11 and Day 7.

@whumptober2020

Hi, Harrison, right? How are you doing?"

His jaw clenched. "Fine."

They smiled. “I imagine you've had better days. We won't be too long, and then hopefully you'll be feeling a bit more comfortable.”

"I'm already fine. Ready to go home now, if I'm honest."

“That sounds like the morphine talking. Unfortunately we can't get you home just yet.”

His breathing quickened, as did his heart rate. "I'm just fine."

“It's alright to be anxious.” 

"Yeah, but I'm not."

“So do you know why I'm here?”

"Because there's been a misunderstanding." He glanced at Fao. "He's just here to take me home now."

Fao frowned. “No, not quite. We talked about this, yeah?”

He glared at Fao. "I'm fine."

Anaesthesia smiled. “I've no doubt that you are. But this wrist of yours needs sorting otherwise you're going to have issues down the line. And that collarbone must be agony, hmm?”

"Not even broken."

“I can assure you, they are.”

“They are, Tomcat. It’ll be alright.”

"No."

“Look at me. You trust me?”

He shook his head. "I don't want it, Wolfie. Please, please don't let them."

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, I know it’s not pleasant. Do you remember what you said to me, in that chopper when I was panicking?”

Harrison wanted to block his ears, to run away and just get out. He knew he couldn't, and that it was actually for his benefit, but that didn't stop the fear.

His voice cracked. "No."

“No? It’s the last thing I remember. You said you’d got me, you were gonna stay right with me, and that you wouldn’t let anything bad happen. Just some meds, yeah? The real good stuff. It’s my turn now, I’m gonna be right here with you.”

His face screwed up and he scrubbed at it with his good hand, letting go of Fao's. "I promised you an-and I kept it. Had to get you back to Finn."

“And you did. Now I’m here to annoy the hell out of you. So I promise I’m gonna be here with you and make sure you’re alright, and I’ll keep it.”

"I'm sorry." He managed, chest heaving. "I really tried my best. Was my fault you got your scar."

“Sorry? Tomcat that scar’s the reason I’m still here.” Fao said. “You’re alright.”

"But you got the scar."

“And it kept me alive. A scar is a scar, I’ve got plenty of them. You saved my life and now I’m here to look out for you.”

He searched Fao's face. "Promise?"

“Promise. I’ll be right here, looking out for you. These guys are good, I trust them.”

"Do you think we could crack on? We don't want to be leaving you in pain."

Harrison nodded, trying to put on a brave face as he gripped Fao again. "He stays."

“That’s alright. I don’t think we could get rid of him even if we tried.”

"O-okay."

“You alright for us to adjust the bed a bit? I know you’re nice and sat up but it’ll be easier for us if you’re more laid down.”

He nodded, checking with Fao before giving his approval. 

Fao did his best to reassure Harrison as they adjusted the bed. It made his stomach churn, he'd been here before and it was rubbish. But he'd be there for Hars, he had to be. 

They fussed a little, ortho keen to decide what they wanted to do before the drugs meant they had to work fast. 

“We're going to use the smallest dose we can get, Harrison, hopefully you won't need much - you've had a decent amount of painkillers and we don't want to completely overwhelm you.”

"I don't want it at all."

“I know. We'll be as quick as we can.” They reassured. 

He nodded. "Just get it done. 'm not meaning to be rude."

“You're far from rude, don't worry. Just going to give you some oxygen, alright?”

"Just a little."

“Just a little. Just to make sure you get enough.”

"Always good to do that."

“Well, we want to look after you.” They said, getting it all set up. “Here we are, that alright?”

He adjusted it slightly. "Fine."

“Comfortable enough? I know it's not great.”

"It's fine. Jus' get it done, please?"

“Yeah, okay. We're going to start the meds now, just keep breathing for me. Fao's next to you, focus on him.” They said, slowly giving the first dose. “Might made you feel a bit strange, but just keep breathing.”

As the dizziness started to hit, so did the panic, his breath catching in his throat. They came in short gasps, each one sending his collarbone stabbing into his chest and shooting pain across his body.

He wasn't in England any more, the hum of the chopper under his back. The explosion had come from nowhere, just a normal day-to-day patrol and then he'd been coming to in the sand, bleeding out. 

He couldn't breathe, why couldn't they understand that? And it hurt. God, did it hurt. Why weren't they helping him?

Fao rubbed his good shoulder. “You're okay Harrison, I'm here. You're safe, nobody's going to hurt you. Try and slow your breathing for me?” He tried to reassure. 

Harrison groaned, trying his best to arch away from the pain. With his jaw clenched and head pressed into the bed, Wolfie swam in his vision. It wasn't fair. Why wouldn't they just knock him out?

He begged them, just knock him out. Knock him out and let him go. He didn't want to be alive if it was going to be in this much pain.

“You're alright, I've got you. You're okay, you're safe.”

He gave an unintelligible shout, tears starting to fall. "Get off!" 

“Look at me, eh? You're okay, I'm right here.”

"Jus' knock me out." There was wild desperation in his eyes as he fought against it all. "Let me die."

“Tomcat, look at me. I'm right here, you're safe, nobody's going to hurt you. I've got you.” Fao reassured, standing up to get properly into his field of view. “I'm right here, you're safe.” 

Anaesthesia carefully gave a little more medication - they couldn't do anything whilst he was struggling. 

They apologised at least, when they tightened a tourniquet above the one he'd clumsily put on. It didn't stop the pain, didn't stop him begging again. The pain stopped that though, worse than the actual injury, and his world swam.

Harrison screamed, trying to rip his hand away from them. His chest heaved as the world swam, his hand reaching to grab at his thigh. Despite the drugs he fought so hard against, his fingers left marks against his leg, his nails digging into the skin.

“Hey, hey, come on.” Fao said, taking his hand. “None of that, let's not hurt ourselves.” The scream hurt, like a knife in his chest. It wasn't fair, Harrison couldn't have things easy, could he? At least he was unlikely to remember it, but that didn't help Fao. 

"Off." Harrison wasn't sure if it was a question or a request, but he briefly caught Fao's eye. Wolfie was there. He'd be okay.

Wolfie shouldn't be there. He was back in England. He'd been on his flight, literally had his heart in his hand as he tried to save his life. Harrison had always thought he had, but if he was there with him now, he must have died. An apology formed on his tongue, but it was so hard. Too hard. 

Finn would forgive him, and so would Sheila, he hoped. They'd go to his funeral, surely? 

“You're alright, we're gonna help you. Just try and keep breathing. I've got you, you're safe.”

He tried to fight it, he really did, but it was no use. His mind finally gave in, letting him sink back down and completely detached from the world.

Fao sighed, relieved as Harrison finally gave in. Anaesthesia topped him up again, pushing the limits of where they felt comfortable. But they needed to make sure he was out enough to get the manipulations done. 

Fao sunk down gratefully into a chair and held Harrison's hand as they did it, murmuring to him the whole time. Thankfully it didn't take them too long to be satisfied, and got his wrist casted and x-rayed, as well as the collarbone. They were happy with the positioning (a huge relief) and left him to sleep off the medication - awaiting the transfer to the ward. 

[faofinn]

Breathe In Breathe Out/ Panic! At The Disco/ I Think I Need a Dr - Whumptober Days 13/18/29

Little bit different this time, combined three prompts into a little ficlet. Enjoy!  

Fao got news of a vehicle being hit. Somehow they’d managed to find a weak spot in the armour and it was a mess. The medics first on scene wanted him there, so that’s where he went. They retrieved their casualties and started to make their way back to base, Fao doing the best he could to suture and stabilise in the back of a chinook. It was loud and unstable but he had a job to do and he’d damn well do it. 

But the resistant forces had somehow gotten their hands on something they shouldn't have. They found that one out the hard way. After the most almighty crash and the screaming of warping metal, the big helicopter pitched and went down. Fao and his crew shared a look. They knew they were as good as dead as they collided with the heat-baked earth.

The mayday call went out as soon as they were hit, detailing their location and the crew on board. Nobody held much hope, they all knew it was bad. 

Fao was thrown clear as they hit the ground, the force knocking him out but keeping him far enough away from the burning metal to keep him alive, for now. 

It was a mess when the second Chinook arrived, and all too silent. The metal was twisted and on fire, and there was no chance of any survivors there. They did a sweep around it, aware of the risks and just hoping for a miracle.

The blood and sand in Fao's mouth choked him, and he struggled to breathe, clawing at the ground and trying desperately to get some air. He coughed and retched and groaned, the smell of burning metal and fuel filling his nose. It was hot, too hot, and when he tried to open his eyes it was too bright, too. He was going to die, out here alone in the burning sun. That he knew for sure. The sand was going to choke him and he was going to die. 

“Wolfie? Wolfie!” Harrison dropped his kit next to him, relief at finding someone alive, and almost crying because it was Fao. “We've got you, mate.”

The voice was distant, distorted by the ringing in his ears, but Fao was vaguely aware of someone beside him. He still gasped for breath, and he panickedly reached out for them, trying to work out if they were real or not. 

“I'm here, don’t worry. Where’s hurting?”

Where? Everywhere? Fao didn't know. He couldn't breathe, couldn't think. It was too hot, too bright.

“It’s alright, yeah? Try relax, we’re gonna help.” He started to cut at Fao’s clothes, pushing Fao's hands off.

Fao tried to breathe, tried to relax. What if he died? What about Finn and their parents, what would they do. Suddenly it was too real and terrifying and all he wanted was Sheila with him, holding his hand. 

“Wolfie, come on. Look at me, mate.”

Fao forced his eyes open. They blurred with the sand and the sun and he could barely see, but he tried his best. He managed with a groan, wishing they'd focus.

“That’s it. Well done, you’re doing great.” He glanced up at the rest of the crew, a sombre look on his face as they shook their heads. “We’re gonna get you boarded and back to base, okay? Keep going for me, okay?”

He groaned, coughing again. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, his chest tight, but he couldn't find the words. The pain was getting worse and worse, everywhere. He wasn't even sure if he could speak.

Despite the mask on him, Fao was still obviously struggling. Harrison hesitated, torn between moving first or decompressing, weighing them both up. 

“Fuck it. I’m doing it now. I’m not having him arrest because of this. Pass me the kit?”

His colleague quickly passed it over, careful and confident. “There. On your left.”

“Fao, I’m gonna stick a needle in your chest, okay? Help you breathe.”

Fao groaned again, trying and failing to speak. 

“Sorry, mate.” He pressed down Fao’s bare chest, the landmarks of bones no longer together. “Sharp scratch.”

He didn't even feel the needle. Even when it was in it didn't help, either. A few breaths were easier, maybe, but it was still tight. 

He already knew the answer as he asked. “Any better?” 

He tries for as much of a negative noise as he can make, struggling. It was like he was slowly being suffocated. 

“You’re doing so well, just keep going.” He gestured behind him. “Lets go.”

“Ready when you are.” Came the reply. 

“Ready, Wolfie? We’re gonna get you back.” They lifted him carefully, trying to move fast but not jostle him. “Just hold on.”

“‘ome.” He managed to get out, the word distorted. 

“Back to Finn, yeah? We’ll get you sorted here, and you’ll be on the first flight back.”

Fao hummed. The pain was worse, everything was worse, but Finn would make things better. They all would.

“Wolfie, keep your eyes open. I know you can’t talk, but you gotta stay with us.”

He tried, squinting against the bright sun. It was hard, he wanted to sleep. Wanted to forget it all. Maybe it was just a dream. 

“Come on, you’re doing really well. Think of Finn, yeah? Won’t be long. You'll be back with Sheila too, you know how she fusses.”

It's all too familiar, echoes of his rugby injury all those years ago. But he'd had Sheila then, holding his hand and telling him it would be okay. He wanted her so badly now, longed for her to tell him she warned him about being careful. But she was miles and miles away and he was alone. 

They were quick to load him, setting up fluids and pushing them. His blood pressure was horrendous at best, and Harrison's sure he’s bleeding from somewhere, but there’s nothing they can really do until surgery. He just needed to keep him alive until then.

"Come on, Fao. Just hold on. You're going to be fine, gonna be back to Sheila and Finn, going to be fine." Harrison fussed over him. "I'm not going to go anywhere, so you're sure as hell aren't either. I've got you, I'm gonna keep you safe, nothing bad is gonna happen, not on my watch."

Fao started slipping, his breathing getting shallower and shallower as he fought against the building pressure in his chest. He coughed to try and help but it just hurt, and he became more and more aware of the pain. His breathing became more and more irregular, far too long between each breath. 

“Fao, no, please. Come on.” Harrison started to bag him as they set up for sedation and intubation. “We’re gonna sedate you, take control and give you a rest, okay? Just hold on. I've got you.”

He fought it, struggling against the hands all over him, the mask too tight over his face, pressing into his jaw. It was pain, pain, pain. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t breathe! If they put him out, he’d never wake up. The pressure in his chest got worse and worse, crushing him. They couldn’t sedate him, no. His good arm clawed at the people all over him, the monitoring, everything. He coughed, choking on the blood in his mouth again, retching again and again to no avail. This was it, this was how he died. Blood coating his tongue, the world unfocused and too bright. 

Harrison gave the nod to start the drugs, leaning into Fao's line of sight. "Fao, look at me."

He couldn’t. How could he? It was too much, he couldn’t breathe. Somewhere he recognised Harrison’s voice, but he struggled against it all, trying to grab onto something, anything.

“It’s alright, Fao, just relax. I’ve got you mate, promise. I’m gonna look after you, do my very best. We all know I’m only second best to you, yeah? You’ll be back in England before you know it.”

Fao grabbed at him, groaning. He couldn’t do this, couldn’t keep on like this. The pain was everywhere, distracting him, and get staying conscious was getting harder and harder. Pure fear was the only thing keeping him conscious, and he couldn’t even speak. 

"I know, I know." Harrison stared him in the eyes. "Wolfie, I promise you, I'm going to get you home. I'm going to do everything and I'm going to get you out of here. I need you to trust me. I know this is terrifying, but you need to slow your breathing down, relax, let us do the hard work for you. You'll be back in England before you know it."

He didn't really have a choice. Things were getting hazy, the oxygen mask pressed to his face making the pain worse and worse. His pelvis was agony too, all down his left leg, and numbness spreading where the pain didn't reach. His thoughts were a mess, and he struggled to slur out a help. 

But Harrison was there. Harrison would look after him, right? Tomcat. He was good. Surely he was safe. He wasn't sure if it was the pain or the meds but he began to slip, the blackness more and more inviting. His breathing stopped as he gave into it, the fight just gone. 

With Fao out, they all moved quickly. Every number they got from him was wrong, and it was only getting worse. His airway was secure as quickly as possible, but it wasn't exactly good. There wasn't any air entry for the most part of his lungs, and they’re not exactly left with much of a choice. Scalpel ready, they all agree to at least try a thoracotomy. It’s not like they could make it much worse, and they doubted he’d make it back to camp the way he was trending.

Seconds after knife to skin, his body finally gave up and he arrested, his numbers even worse and all the monitoring kicking off. 

“Shit! Fao, come on.” Harrison was on his chest immediately, feeling the mess of ribs under his hands and groaning. “How long?”

“Five minutes, they're waiting for us.”

“We’re not losing him. Not after Vixen. We can’t. I promised him.”

The others took a step back, ready to call it and leave it at that, but Harrison was having none of it. He grabbed tbe scalpel again.

"What are you doing?"

"What's it look like?" He hissed back. "I promised him."

"You did everything you could, Harrison. It's okay."

He shook his head and made the incision. They had to listen to him then, passing him equipment as he started the thoracotomy. He'd admit he wasn't the most proficient at them, but at the same time, Fao was dead. He really wasn't going to make it worse. 

Tension pneumothorax resolving, Harrison moved onto the heart. There was no obvious bleeding there, and still no output. He swallowed thickly. 

He took Fao's heart in his hands, willing it to start working as he squeezed it. Come on. Blood was pushed again, and Harrison could feel it soaking through his knees. He brushed it off, getting his colleague to clamp what they could and pack the rest.

He wasn't losing Fao. He couldn't. He was his best friend, more than that, really. At least, if they made it out.

They still couldn't shock him, but his lungs inflated more with each breath, everything slowly returning to where it should be. Clots were suctioned away, blood cleared from where it shouldn't.

This time, as they gave more blood, it didn't piss everywhere. 

"Thank fuck."

He continued his massage, praying to a god he didn't believe in, offering anything to get him out alive. Offering his life and limbs to get him back to the Daniels. They couldn't lose Fao. He couldn't lose Fao.

He felt it under his fingers, a sudden twitch, movement that hadn't been there before. With a frown, he continued. They weren't due a rhythm check just yet, and he wasn't going to prematurely stop. 

At the rhythm check, he breathed a sigh of relief. It was beating. He could feel the contraction under his fingers, the slow pulse of blood being pushed through. 

It wasn't much, but it was a pulse. It was Fao, and he was alive. 

The handover was quick and rushed, not much more to be said than already had been sent over. The crew hung around with him for a few minutes, trying to get him stabilised enough to get into theatre and survive it. 

Harrison took a step back from duty after that, the crew and his officers recognising he needed the time. Granted it, he paced outside of theatre, back and forth, back and forth, until someone snapped at him and told him to go get washed. It was only then that he realised how absolutely covered in blood he was, most of it Fao's, but a lot of it from the pack. They'd used more than normal, and Harrison had done more than he should, but none of that mattered.

Fao was alive.