#With this week with the shit I've been working on this week
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lnfours · 2 days ago
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i feel like youre the only one who could understand my thoughts rn, hear me out: uni student who is having a hard time being motivated and is justt feeling overall down about school and such. THEN, lando comfort, just being there and being so comforting (this is not at all inspired by my life or anything...truth, ive been having such a shit week and i just know that this week is going to be bad too and i really need comfort, but am lacking in the friend/boyfriend department and my phone calls with my mom are simply not doing it for me anymore. okay enough with the venting.)
i definitely, 100% understand your situation. school is stressful and hard, especially when you’re feeling unmotivated. remember to give yourself breaks as needed, and my messages are always open if you need anything ❤️
‘feeling 22’ birthday sleepover
the sound of the front door opening sounded through the apartment before his voice did, "hey, baby."
you looked up from your laptop, smiling softly at him from the spot on the couch that you had realized you'd been at all day. the sun was beginning to set, peaking in through the curtains in the living room. he walked up behind the couch, wrapping his arms around you, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek.
"it's five already?" you asked, glancing up at the time in the corner of your screen. sure enough, it was a little after five. you had quite literally been working on this final project all day.
he hummed, resting his head on top of yours, "mmhm," his nose absentmindedly nuzzled into the hair ontop of your head, taking in the smell of your shampoo, "have you been working on this all day?"
you nodded, sighing before pulling off your glasses, rubbing your eyes, "yeah and i feel like i've barely made a dent in it. i feel like no matter what i put, my professor isn't going to be impressed."
"he'd be an idiot not to be impressed with anything you do."
"yeah, but it needs to be perfect if i want to land that internship," you said, "and it's nowhere near perfect. no matter how hard i work i feel like it's not good enough and i just... i don't know what to do."
"take a break, baby," he said, "you've been at this all day. rest the rest of the night and have another go at it tomorrow or the next day. little by little."
you knew he had a point, but you sat there defeated as you tried to get yourself to close your laptop, "okay, yeah, just let me read it over one last time and then i'll be done for the night."
he nodded, "okay, just once though," he said, standing up again, "i have an idea, actually. i'll be right back,"
you nodded, letting him venture down the hallway and into your bedroom. he made quick work with his actions, gathering candles from your bedroom before placing them on the bathroom counter and lighting them. he started the faucet for the bath, making it the temperature he knew you liked before adding some of your body wash to the water.
once it was set up to his liking, he made his way back to the living room and you were still invested in the project on your laptop. he stood in front of you. gently closing the lid, which made you stop reading as you let out a soft sigh of defeat. there was no getting around it with him.
"c'mon," he smiled softly, reaching out and offering his hand for you to take. you placed your hand in his, rising from the couch as he led you down the hallway and to your bedroom.
"what're you up to?"
"nothing in particular," he smiled, and when you saw the bathroom you immediately almost broke down into tears. the candles dimly lit the room and a bath was drawn.
"lando," you gasped softly, his thoughtfulness making your heart flutter against your chest and reminding you why you fell in love with him in the first place.
he smiled, "you relax, i'll order us some food. how's that sound?"
you nodded as wrapped your arms around his neck, "have i ever told you how much i love you?"
he smiled, "once or twice, i can't quite put my finger on it though."
you laughed softly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "i love you."
"i love you more," he smiled.
you nodded in the direction of the tub, "how about you join me and then we order dinner?"
"i like the way you think."
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blyth-me · 2 days ago
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drag me out: coriolanus snow
Summary: A night out with friends is good for your health but proves to be messier than expected as you find yourself entangled with a private at the bar.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ mdni, unprotected sex (cap before tap y'all), drinking, modern day military (peacekeeper!) coryo, cursing, choking, p in v, public sex, one night stand, oral sex, horny coryo, slight coercion if you squint, modern!au
THIS WORK IS 18+. IF I CANNOT SEE YOUR AGE, DO NOT INTERACT. ALL MINORS OR AGE ANON USERS WILL BE BLOCKED FROM THIS ACCOUNT.
Word Count: 2.3k
A/N: I shit you not I've had this in my drafts since last December and it's been reworked two or three times so thanks for voting and clearing my drafts :)
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The bar was rowdy when you walked in. The spot (a dingy dive bar called Plutarch's) was frequently haunted by your girl friends after grueling exams, breakups, or a bout of weekend boredom. Your college wasn't far from the local military base and served as the perfect place for finding something to do on a Friday night. This one was no different.
You'd wanted to blow off steam after a long week. Or maybe it was blowing off steam before a long week. The holidays and "homecoming" seasons were difficult for a myriad of reasons. The topic of grades was a touchy subject with your family although you'd grown stronger as a student in recent years. Your mother, another reason, was the epitome of neurotic during the colder months. Your father always said it was "cabin fever" with a dismissive wave of his hand, never seeming to care enough to cure her. Your friends always rolled their eyes at your hesitance to go back home, but never dared to follow you and find out if you were telling the truth or not.
The group of girls you came with settled at the bar, ordering drinks and scoping out the crowd for something or someone to direct your night. You talked amongst yourselves over the band playing and whispered about the attractive patrons. Suddenly there was a cheer towards the pool tables, causing your eyes to wander to the source. A group of young men entered to join their friends.
"Do you think they're college kids?" One of your friends asked.
"With those builds? No way. Besides, I spot dog tags." Says another, who playfully shoved your shoulder.
You smirked and shook your head, finishing your drink.
"I came here to avoid problems, not get involved with a new one, remember?" You joked, eyes scanning the group of men.
Your group was left to giggle and gossip more and the drinks began to cause a buzz in your head. There was a tall blonde in the group by the pool table who your friend pointed out. His buzz cut made him stand out and you couldn't decide if he was magnetic or if it was the cocktail you'd been nursing. A tattoo peaked out of his shirt sleeve as he crossed his arms, watching his friends, then yours, then you.
You shared a moment of eye contact, his eyes locked in on yours. Your friends started to whisper excitedly, urging you to talk to him.
"No," you shook your head. "he can come over if he wants me."
You turned back to your friends, finished your second drink of the night, and carried on conversation for a few minutes until-
"Excuse me ladies, can I cut in?"
There he was, standing patiently in front of you as your friends quietly left the two of you alone. Up close, he was so much bigger than you anticipated. His shoulders were broad and he towered over you. His smile was polite and practiced, but his eyes seemed calculated, honed in. He was now your problem.
"You scared off my friends," you joked, turning around. "buy me a drink and make it up to me."
He laughed behind you, leaning next to you on the bar.
"What do you like?" His eyes gave you a careful scan as you told him your order.
The two of you laughed awkwardly and waited for your drink.
"Do you come here a lot?" He asked, making you scoff.
"God, do you try that on everyone?"
"Only the pretty girls." He handed you your drink. "Or the ones that might make me look better."
"Funny." You said, feeling a little more buzzed than usual.
"Did it work?"
You shrugged playfully and smiled. Maybe a little, you thought.
"Who are you?"
"Private Coriolanus Snow."
"Flashing your rank? You're on a roll."
He smiled at you in a way that made your stomach churn and look for your friends who are now mingling with his. When you turned back to him, he was resting his back against the bar, big hand cradling a beer. He really was so much bigger close up.
"So," you started, "do you come here a lot?"
This earned a laugh from him. It was a good, hearty laugh. A laugh that sounded like he needed it.
"I practically live here off base. It's my outlet besides working out."
Now it was your turn to laugh.
"Holy shit." You mumbled. "You've got all the lines ready." You let out another giggle and shook your head, looking at him.
"Alright, I'm gonna be honest." Coriolanus lowered his voice and leaned closer to you. "I get real lonely on base. My friends over there-" He nodded in the direction where your friend groups were mixed. "they want me to find someone pretty to..." he cleared his throat. "blow off steam."
You nearly choked on your drink. Coriolanus laughed a little at your reaction and took your drink, placing it next to his beer on the bar.
"Are you propositioning me, Private?" He laughed again and shrugged.
"What if I am?" He looked at you a little more seriously, his voice more firm as you felt yourself blushing from the eye contact.
"I drove my friends, I wasn't even supposed to be drinking." You trailed off and looked back at the group.
"Relax," He spoke softly, touching your arm. "you've already been irresponsible once tonight, what say you to another bad decision?"
You blinked up at him, unsure of what to say as you shifted near your barstool. There were a million thoughts running around your head and as if he could sense it, he gave your forearm a soft squeeze.
"No pressure. I just think you're cute and we could help each other out." He smirked and raised an eyebrow. "We don't even have to go back to base if you don't want prying eyes peeking in the barracks. The alley is usually empty."
"How do you know that?" You cringed slightly, hiding your amusement.
"The less you know, the better."
You found yourself laughing at his quick remark. Frankly, Coriolanus was right. You wanted to remain as clueless as possible. You looked at him again and recalled the whole purpose of your night out in the first place. He was really attractive, you couldn't ignore the way your heart was threatening to grow wings and fly out of your chest, but you were hesitant. What about my friends? You wondered.
"Fine. But," You looked at him. "We keep this a one night thing. I don't want to be a bootycall on base for you."
He shook his head and smiled at the floor.
"Do I come off that desperate?"
"No." You answered a little too quickly. You were very tipsy and he was getting better looking by the minute. His soft smirk drew your eyes to his lips. They were slightly parted as he laughed at your quickness.
Before you processed it, he placed a kiss to your lips and took your hand. You stood and followed him as he snuck you out the back door of the bar. Coriolanus made sure to hide you away in a corner before kissing you again. That time, it was longer, more desperate, and more sloppy. The mixing of drinks on your tongue made you never want to stop kissing him. Your drink and his beer somehow tasted better than you would have thought. He's got you caged against the wall as he worked his lips down your neck, his teeth and tongue nipping and soothing your skin.
"Think you can get on your knees, baby?"
You nodded eagerly as he fumbled with his belt. You dropped to your knees, the concrete scraping you through your jeans as you looked up at him.
"Just need you to get him warmed up." He mumbled, freeing himself from his jeans. A thigh tattoo caught your attention, the combination of letters and numbers were legible for a moment before Coriolanus lifted your chin with his free hand and stroked his cock with the other.
"You're pretty." He observed plainly, his hand pausing to guide your lips to his leaky tip. "Shit-" He groaned as you wrapped your lips around him.
He didn't waste any time, tangling his hand in your hair as he bobbed your head. You gagged slightly, your hands braced on his thighs. You felt your heart skip a beat as the slightest hint of a whine fell past his lips. You hollowed your cheeks and hummed. Coriolanus cursed again, head tipped fully back, before he pulled you off. You opened your mouth to pout, desperate to keep pulling those sounds out of him, but he stopped you.
"Up." He demanded quietly, helping you stand. When you got to your feet he kissed you hard.
"Shit, baby." He breathed a laugh. "I might have to get your number so I can try that mouth again."
Before you can answer, his lips are latched on to yours. His hands hurriedly work at your skirt, flipping it up and sliding your damp panties to the side. When he felt you, he paused to look down and god if you could have frozen time, you would have. His eyes darkened significantly as he brought his fingers to his lips, sucking them clean.
"Mmm." Coriolanus hummed. "You're ready to go."
You nodded, looking down as his hand wrapped around his cock again.
"Please?" You whispered. The desperation in your voice betrayed your cool exterior.
"Good manners, good girl." He smirked, lining himself up. "You gonna take it for me? Hmm?"
His question was more of a taunt as he pressed into you. He lifted your leg as your head lolled back against the brick wall. Your hand clung to his back through his shirt, feeling the muscles rippling beneath your skin. He gave you no time to adjust as he started a quick pace inside you, dragging against all the right places. The stretch of him was just the right amount of sting and sweetness.
You were a little embarrassed at the sounds fleeing your mouth. He let you moan freely for a bet before pausing.
"You have to be a good girl and be quiet for me." He laughed, kissing your neck. "Take it like a quiet girl, baby."
Coriolanus resumed his movements after giving you the order. You tried to stifle the sounds, but his tip was kissing the parts inside of you that made your head spin and your knees weak. The next time you whimpered just a little too loud between labored breaths, he put his large hand over your mouth.
"Shhh, baby. I know." He cooed, pounding into you a little rougher as if to test your quickly dissipating self-control. "You're so perfect for me." He praised. "Hugging my cock so good, baby. So warm."
As Coriolanus rambled against your neck, you felt the knot in your stomach building. You clawed desperately at his shirt and tried to stifle accidental sounds against his shoulder. The scratch of the cold brick against your back seemed like a vague background sensation and you felt yourself drifting further away. The leg you were standing on began to tremble as you whispered desperately “Coryo!” and try to stay up.
“Getting wobbly, pretty?” He looked at you and wrapped his free hand around your throat. He didn’t let up his brutal pace as he shushed you again.
“Feels so good, shit-” Coriolanus groaned loudly. “You’ve never been treated like this before hm?” He kissed you softly, a contrast to his rough movements.
You couldn’t respond. Part of this was due to the intense feeling of him pounding into you like a teenager afraid to get caught, but it was mainly due to your rapidly approaching orgasm. You silky, wet walls gave him a warning squeeze, causing him to falter momentarily.
“You close, pretty?” Coriolanus panted. You nodded.
“Yeah, huh?” He cooed almost condescendingly before lowering his lips to your ear. “I’m gonna fill this perfect cunt up and you’re gonna let me.”
With that, you became consumed with a white hot disorientation. You felt everything and nothing at the same time as you mewled against his shoulder. Coriolanus squeezed your thigh, whimpering as he pressed himself to the deepest part of you, making good on his promise moments before.
You continued holding onto his broad shoulders for support as you caught your breath. Coriolanus dropped your leg and gave you a quick kiss before tucking himself away and zipping his pants.
“Can you walk?” He wondered, biting back a laugh.
“Honestly?” You huffed, smiling. “That’s anyone’s guess.”
He unceremoniously offered you his hand as you finished readjusting yourself.
“Still don’t wanna give me your number?” He joked quietly against your ear.
You laughed as the two of you made your way back to the bar. Your friends and his friends were engaged in a heated game of darts, laughing and drinking together.
“It’s probably best that I don’t.” You replied sarcastically, earning a chuckle from him. As you gripped his bicep for balance, you thanked whatever higher power that he was so much bigger than you.
“Damn.” He cursed, smiling toothily. “Well, if next time you’re here, say in two weeks, and you need a little relief…”
You blushed and looked back to your friends.
“Nice try. One night only, remember?” You smiled back.
But it wasn’t one night only, because after you got all your stumbling friends into your empty dorm room and settled down for the night, you opened up your Tinder only to see his face as the first one upon opening the app. You decided, maybe not in your right mind, that it was fate and swiped right on your new favorite serviceman.
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ladykailitha · 2 days ago
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Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 11
Hey guys! We're back!! It is feeling like this story is almost done, but every time I finish a chapter I go "This has two more chapters in it, I'm almost done!" and I've done that for the last three chapters. So I have given up trying to figure out when it's going to end. Hopefully the answer is sometime before the next Olympics.
In this we have a silly Eddie, Steve and Max are sneaky, and Max and Eddie have their first competition.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10
~
Steve continued to have good days and bad days, but always Eddie and Robin were there to help him work through the bad. And then he would spill it all out to Dr. Hughes.
Today he had been able to wade out to Max in the main pool to correct her foot work. The water had come up to his chest, just like it did in the kiddie pool.
“All right,” Steve said gently. “I’m going to touch your leg. If you feel uncomfortable in anyway, I’ll have Robin do it instead, okay?”
Max thought about it for a moment. “But just my leg right?”
“Just your ankle even,” he assured her. “Ready?”
Max waded over to the side of the pool and started kicking her feet to level out her body. Steve gently grabbed her ankle and repositioned her foot so it was more like an extension of her leg.
“Whoa!”
“That’s right,” he said, “now keep it like that.”
Robin and Eddie who had been working in the endless pool came back to the main pool just as Steve was pulling his shirt back on.
Eddie eyed the wet swim trunks and the happily kicking Max and a sly smile spread over his face. “Stevie... you wouldn’t have happened to have gotten into the pool with Max would you have?”
Steve batted his eyelashes innocently. “Who me?” He turned to Max. “Did you see me get into the pool?”
“Nope!”
Eddie knelt on the side of the pool and said, “I’ll buy you ice cream for the next month if you tell me if he got in the pool.”
Robin sneaked up behind him and with Max’s help pulled him into the water as gently as they could, as to not trigger Steve.
It must have worked because when they all came up for air, Steve was doubled over with laughter.
“Absolute menaces the lot of you,” he said once he caught his breath. “I got the competition schedule for next week. Max is in beginner and Eddie in intermediate. I tried to argue for higher, but they because you’ve been out for so long, they want you in there first to see if you have room to grow.”
Eddie wiped the water off of his face. “That’s fair. I don’t think I’m ready for higher yet anyway.”
Steve gave him a fond look. “And then that’s what we’ll do. If you don’t feel comfortable competing at above intermediate yet, then I won’t force you. I just worry they’ll accuse of you of deliberately choosing lower to spank fifteen and sixteen year olds.”
Eddie blinked at him for a moment.
“Oh.”
He went to go shove his hair in front of his face, but it was all tucked away in his cap, so he started to sink into the water.
Steve, Robin, and Max all watched as he held his breath under water.
“So how long do you think he can hold his breath?” Max asked after about a minute. “Because I think cell death happens after three minutes.”
“Eh...” Robin said waving her hand back and forth, “about four to five, actually.”
Just then Eddie burst through the water, gasping for air. He wiped the water away and looked around. “So is anyone going to be nice and completely forget that happened?”
All three of them shared glances with each other and then said together, “No.”
Eddie buried his head in his hands. He slunk off to his lane with a sigh. “Woe! Woe is me! For I have been forsaken by my own team. Woe!”
Steve and Max shared a glance.
“Is he always this dramatic?” Max asked, eyeing Eddie splashing about and moaning about his fate or some shit.
Robin scoffed as she pulled herself out of the pool and rotated to sit on its edge. “This is tame for him, if I’m being honest.”
Eddie stopped his sputtering and turned to her quickly. “I? I am dramatic?” Then he made a sweeping bow, nearly face planting into the water. “Why thank you!”
Everyone giggled but Max and Eddie got back into their lanes and started practicing again. Robin got up and went to go stand by Steve.
“I’m glad you were able to help Max on your own,” she murmured. “But just remember, if you can’t, call and I’ll coming running, okay?”
“Okay.”
~
It was their first swim meet and Robin wasn’t sure who was more nervous, Max and Eddie or Steve.
She was sure that that pen lid would be a mangled, tangled up mess by the time this was over with.
She looked around the room, spotting a few friends, the Hell Squad from their own facility, and one very unfriendly face indeed.
Billy Hargrove.
Billy Hargrove was a swimmer from California and he thought living on the coast instantly made you a better swimmer. He even had that bit of surfer boy charm. You’d expect this blond haired, blued eyed, tan Adonis to start singing Beach Boys or some shit, but no.
Billy Hargrove was an ass. And he hated all the comparisons between him and Steve at the last Olympics. Dude went on to barely win bronze in two of five events and not medal in any of the others.
Today he was wearing a red and gold coach’s jacket with HARGROVE emblazoned on the back with two blonds standing next him as he talked them in low voices. One was a girl with strawberry blonde hair, green eyes, and bright smile. The other was a guy that looked about the same age as the girl. He looked like he had walked out the pages of Good Christians R Us. Hair neatly cut, blue eyes, chiseled jaw and washboard abs.
Robin hated them both on sight.
She was about to steer Steve away from all that when Billy looked up immediately clocked Steve, who promptly stiffened.
Max and Eddie who were talking to him noticed the sudden change in Steve’s demeanor. And unlike the locker room with Andy, Eddie could tell that this was a different breed of shark coming their way.
“Stevie...” Billy greeted. “When I saw the name Harrington I was wondering if that was you and then here you are. Such a pleasant surprise.”
Robin and Steve shared a bitchy glance. “Pleasant isn’t the word I would use,” Steve scoffed.
“You actually getting in the water, Harrington, or are you going to bitch out again?” Billy went on as if Steve hadn’t said a word.
Steve seethed. Billy had been present the first time he tried to get into the pool after his accident and started screaming.
“Don’t worry, darlin’,” Eddie said with a grin, “Stevie here doesn’t need to get in the water to beat you. He has me.”
Billy looked him up and down and he looked impressed for all of two seconds before he scoffed. “I didn’t think they allowed boys with such pretty curls,” he said tugging on one of the strands. Eddie swatted his hand away. “Maybe you should be on the girls’ team.”
“Last time I checked,” Eddie huffed, “I have the balls for the men’s team. Can’t say the same for the asshole who came up and harassed a guy that had his Olympic dreams washed away because of faulty equipment that left him traumatized and hurt for life, but still loves to swim so much that he would rather coach then to walk away forever.”
Billy’s face twisted in rage and he opened his mouth to reply when the whistle sounded. He jabbed a finger in Eddie’s face. “We’re not done.”
He walked off and suddenly all the tension built up in Steve escaped like a deflated balloon.
“That guy is a dick,” Max hissed. “My mom used to date a guy just like him out in Cali. Wouldn’t surprise me if they were related.”
That made Steve laugh. “I’ll beat him where I’ve always beaten him, in the water. Now come on, it’s time for you two to hit the showers. The beginners are about to start. You’re in the third heat, Max, first podium.”
She nodded and her and Eddie took off their team shirts and hit the showers. Steve looked over at Billy and smirked. Billy was watching every inch of Eddie’s body as he padded over to the showers that were next to the pool.
Robin handed him his bobby pins and he deftly put his hair under the cap, making it as sleek as any of the other male contestants.
The first set of eight girls lined up and then they were off with the shot of the starting gun. Steve watched, looking out for the girls that would be Max’s competition. So far none of the girls showed real promise and that included the girl who won.
The next heat was the same. None of the other girls had the same spark Max did. He looked up to the stands where the families were supposed to there to cheer them on. Robin’s parents were there. Eddie’s uncle, too. Of course Steve’s parents wouldn’t be there. He hadn’t talked them in so long.
He didn’t see the woman that would come to pick up Max and it made Steve squirm a bit. Then just before Max’s heat, he saw her come rushing in. Her hair was wild as if she had been running and she looked out of breath. She leaned over to whisper something to Wayne. Wayne shook his head and pointed to where Max was getting ready to get up on her podium.
Steve went over to her and pointed up at the stands.
Max’s eyes lit up and she waved at her mom. Her mom waved back. Max got up on her podium and put her goggles in place over her eyes. Steve stepped back and gave the judge with the gun a nod, showing that he had moved back far enough. Then the gun went off.
Max easily kept pace with the other girls and managed to squeak out winning by an arms length, touching her pad first.
She pulled off her goggles and looked at her time. She had clearly won. She started jumping and shrieking in the water. She pulled herself out and ran up to give Steve the biggest hug.
“I told you, you could do it,” Steve murmured into her cap.
“Yeah, yeah,” she huffed. “Nerd.”
They went through the next few heats and Max came in third overall in the girls division. Which considering it was her first meet, was very impressive.
Then it was time for the intermediate and as they watched the girls, Eddie began bouncing up and down to warm up his muscles.
“You ready to blow these people out of the water?” Steve asked with a grin. “I gave the organizers one last chance to put you in masters, but they wouldn’t do it.”
Eddie chuckled. “I don’t have the confidence you do in me, but hell yeah, I’m ready.”
Steve slapped him on the shoulder and watched as Eddie got up to the podium. He pulled the goggles over his eyes and turned away from the water.
This is what he loved most of all about the backstroke. Not facing the water or seeing his competitors out of the corners of his eyes. It was just him and waiting for the sound of the gun.
BANG!
And then he was arching backwards into the water, as smooth as silk. His arms and body worked with the water, slicing through like a hot knife through butter. He could hear the splashing of the other competitors but they all seemed so distant to himself. Not that they were that far away. Only that he felt on whole other realm then they were.
He touched the pad and peeled off his googles to look up at the clock.
He was in first place.
He was in first place.
He was in first place.
He looked up at the stands to see Mrs. Mayfield and Uncle Wayne on their feet and cheering for him. He raised his fist and they waved back excitedly.
It came as no surprise that he won best overall.
He was standing next to Steve celebrating with his team, when the judges came up to them.
“We would like to talk to you about moving up to the masters,” the first judge said with a grimace.
Eddie and Steve shared a knowing grin.
“I think that could be arranged,” Steve said, smug. The ‘I told you so’ lingering in the humid air of the pool.
~
Tag List: CLOSED
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4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @eriquin
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
9- @chameleonhair @sadisticaltarts @dreamercec @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @mac-attack19
10- @aol19 @tartarusknight @morallyundefined
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oddie-odette · 3 days ago
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I've never written fanfic in my life.
That's a lie but I never post shit so
I made a thing for Arcane season 2 and my growing love for Sevika will never end💜
There is some use of y/n I apologize if cringe but I’m not the smartest.
Story is under the cut! 🫶
“Shh! Keep it down! I swear to god…”
“Ooh! What does this do-?” CLATTER!!!
“Oi! What did I just say?!-“
“And what brings you home so late, my dear?” The light of a warm lamp flicks on and Sevika, Jinx and Isha flinch at it. There you were, sitting there in your robe and pajamas on the couch, arms crossed. It was a shock to see not only your girlfriend walk through the door after 2 weeks being gone but now… Jinx and some mysterious child?
“Shit- what are you doing here-?” Sevika grumbles as she walks further into the house while ushering Jinx, who was carrying Isha, inside.
“The real question is what were you not doing here? Where the fuck have you been?” You snap back at her before looking at the gold eyes of the young child in the room. “Pardon my language.” You mumbled as I stood from the couch and walked over to Jinx.
“Hi y/n…” Jinx greeted, her voice soft but it cracked a little. They all much better tired, especially Sevika if she’s just planning on crashing at home with these two. You nod towards the adorable child that Jinx is holding with a questioning look. “Uh- this is Isha. She’s been following me around..”
You perk up at her words, little surprised that the child would even want to be around Jinx much less, Sevika. “Well you’ve come to the right place at this point.” You look back up to Sevika and frown, still made of her absence for 2 weeks. You know she’s been busy but the on and off of leaving and not knowing when she’d come back was… tiring.
There was a long drag in the air until the microwave dinged and lingered softly before you take a deep breath.
“So, who’s hungry?” You ask with a warm smile and offering hands.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“This is so good! I’ve missed food!” You hear Jinx whine and playfully cry out about the food while shoving it into her mouth. Isha was only copying what she was seeing from Jinx and shoveled food into her mouth as well. They both sit at the two seated round table while you and Sevika have a long chat about what exactly has been happening.
“You… can’t be serious..” you grumble as you place down the take out food on the counter and rub the bridge of your nose. You knew Sevika was deep into trouble with topside but… you didn’t think she’d fight with their little special team of enforcers, directly. You lean your weight on the counter and shake your head trying to take this all in.
“I’m still pissed at you.” You mumble before you feel a sour little smile break on your face. Sevika lets out a heavy sigh and places down her food as well.
“I know it’s not… ideal. But this is what we’re working with now.” Sevika said softly as she took a step closer and slowly cupped your face. At first you wanted to angrily pull away from her touch but then you lean into it. You’ve missed it. Her large, rough hand always so warm. It made you feel safe.
You suddenly wonder about her other arm and you look down at it. It’s currently being covered by her red poncho but you can see the childish blue and pink paint covering it. You chuckle softly and you can feel Sevika laugh softly and roll her eyes at the fact her new arm was… quite something.
This tender moment was spoken through just the mind. Between you two, a million words were said at once through one look but… it was more than enough communication from both of you. Sevika slowly places her lips on the top of your head and held you close. You sigh and finally relax in her presence. She’s finally home.
Suddenly you feel a small tug on your pants and you look down to see Isha with her empty bowl and pleading big eyes. Your heart melts at the sight and assume she was asking for more food. Poor girl must be starving still. Sevika backs up from you without a word, picks up her bowl and makes her way to the table. Probably to talk to Jinx for a bit.
“You want more?” You ask softly as you take the empty bowl with gentle hands. Isha nods immediately and so much that she almost looks like a bobble head. You laugh and pat her head before turning to the take out food packaging and poured some more into her bowl. You placed it into the microwave and started it. Isha tried to jump up on the counter to peer up into the microwave, she probably never has seen one. You chuckle and shake your head at the energetic child before scooping her up easily and holding her firmly on your hip. You turn on the light inside the microwave and you just watched Isha’s eyes glimmer as she followed the plate spinning around… and around…
Sevika was secretly watching the interaction and felt something in her slowly bloom. Seeing you like that… so warm and inviting for kids. It’s not something she really touch upon in recent days but… it’s not impossible to think about now. She felt Jinx nudge her and smirk.
“So… you think about marrying her?” Jinx cracked up at her with a grin and Sevika swears that she almost choked.
“W-what?” She sputters in disbelief but she heard the words from Jinx’s mouth. She’s not stupid and neither is Jinx. Sure Sevika thought about it. A nice spring day… far away from Zaun, you in that crisp white dress that complimented your skin so beautifully. Soft air around with flowers and sunlight… Sevika dreams about it. But only one could dream.
“You don’t have to talk about it for me to know. I’m not blind.” Jinx said in a snarky remark but in the inside she meant well. Sevika grunted quietly in reply before looking back to you and Isha. Now that the food was heated up you were passing it back to her and gently warning her that it was still hot.
Yeah… Sevika could get used to this.
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agerblade · 22 hours ago
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Ya... Still working on fem!payneland chat... However for the last two week's class assignments I've had the opportunity to draw tits for every assignment 🤤 so I've been tryharding those and using my personal drawing time on school shit... LMAO
Pov me bullshitting to my teacher how it's essential I draw a naked woman for academic reasons I love art I be yapping
Have this sneak peak of fem!Edwin being highly relatable
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book--wyrm · 3 days ago
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Pengu Finale Liveblog ahhhhhh
Julian just absolutely brain blasting this old woman
Oh Rex is close enough to call her doll and make her breakfast he is not beating the deadbeat daddy allegation
OH NO DOES SHE KNOW OH MY GOD SHE KNOWS
NEVERMIND I WAS SO WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING SHE HAS KNOWN ALL ALONG
holy shit holy shit holy shit
okay so they did find the bodies eventually holy fuck hooooooly fuck
oh my god rex literally teaching francis how to manipulate oz and use him oh my god ohhhhh my god this is so much more of a betrayal than if francis had just hated him for what he'd done
she knew all along she knew all along and she used him and she
she
oz was right ahahahahah every relationship in his life is fuckign transactional because he KILLED THE ONLY TWO BOYS WHO TRULY LOVED HIM, AND KILLED HIS MOTHER'S LOVE WITH THEM
dude he has to kill his mother now
this is a psychological nuke the likes of which i think sofia could not possibly have ever imagined.
Francis's FACE oh my god.
Julian baby boy maybe Sofia should stand out of sight to not break immersion
God this is absolutely not how hypnotism works is it
IT'LL BE EASIER NOW YOU LITTLE PSYCHO
"I see you in ways other people don't" while she is ACTIVELY USING HIM
dude. dude. I just. It's always the same with Oz, isn't it. Sofia, Eve, his mom. He's the biggest bullshitter in Gotham, and he's so full of it he doesn't have a clue how to sniff it out
God they are both so horrific to each other. Just his horrible cycle of selfishness and toxicity what a twisted family they are
HELLO VIC I MISSED YOU
Oh rip lmao I guess the gangs know the bliss is all gone
Vic baby he's saying all the same stuff oz does, only he believes it, so he can't bullshit people to his side
Oh hey that dude on the other side of the walkie talkie lived!!
Man Oz and Sofia haven't been face to face since ep 4 hahahaha
BERTO MENTION. she hasn't used that name in a hot second
Oh my god Sofia literally using that bird nest metaphor ahahahh whoever that anon was in my inbox you are a genius
Man. Sofia literally just laying out all their horrible family drama in the worlds worst family therapy oh my god
Dude I've been saying for weeks now that Sofia's superpower is to completely shatter people with the truth and. ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhh my god ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Wait. Is Sofia going to give that cigar cutter in her cleavage to Francis to use on Oz. I think she should give it to her.
Uh. Nevermind
Wow Sofia really is leaning into this evil therapy thing what the fuck. girl.
God i desperately want her to be the girl-jonkler running the aslume at the end of this show please please please
Also Sofia, I think it was the left. I mean I'm sure she knows just so she can do the other one next, but. man. she is fuckin sadistic. im love....
Julian so enthusiastic about all of this hahaahah
I love Sofia like, almost framing this to them or possibly herself as a gift she is giving to Francis. Is this cope? Is this something she sincerely believes? Or is she just being cruel?
I ALREADY FUCKIN KNOW
It's my finger you spineless prick hahahaahha but that doesn't matter to him because its your love he wants it's your adoration your pride and what actually happens to you? Doesn't fucking matter.
I NEVER STOPPED HATING YOU
Sofia's face right then like. damn dude. god i love her
She had enough love for all of them and he soured every last drop of it. For them, for him, for the world.
Sofia really does know the value of just letting a drama play out.
Francis saying Sofia is right this ep, Sofia saying Francis was right last ep, damn.
Oz really is... the only character in this show chronically incapable of learning
Damn mama cobb strong enough to smash a bottle. I don't think even i could do that.
Oh my god no wonder she said "they look at me like i'm not even theirs" because in her mind, she let their murderer go free
also is oz gonna hulk out that she's showing love to an imaginary jack and benny when oz has just seen her hate?
Oh is she just dying right now
Julian doing the get down mr president
MR DETECTIVE YOU DIPSHIT
Sofia baby you did great okay you already hurt Oz please just go to italy with your boy toy
Wow is he not getting this fucking stab looked at
EW EW EW EW
Yeah sure sure. Sofia stabbed you. Sure. Sure.
Oh noooo. Vic... baby.... he is such a believer in Oz's stupid self serving bullshit. He is so good. And pure. And he speaks from the heart and. And Oz acts like this is something Vic rehearsed
And they laugh about it but Vic doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that Oz isn't giving him advice on how to most effectively show people the fire you hold in your heart—he's teaching him the art of smoke and mirrors. how to con and grift and bullshit until even you don't know what's true and real
Christ. Vic is so fucking dead
She'd never look at me again unless i get this done.
Oz knowing now that this love is transactional. And fine. He'll make that transaction, he'll take down sofia and then maybe his mom will pretend again that she doesn't hate him, doesn't want him dead
it's not going to work, of course. it can't because this show is about him becoming the penguin. and it can't, because even that transaction was always a lie Francis told herself
I don't think she could ever have loved Oz even if he'd gotten her into a penthouse at age 20. I think she lied to herself to survive living with him, because what was the alternative? Losing all three of her boys?
AHAHAHAHAHAH SOFIA LITERALLY PICKING UP OZ'S GOLD SUMMIT MEMBERS i have to say. I did not anticipate this at ALL
damn girlie really is just gonna dip to go to italy or wherever
sofia really is just setting up the funniest game of capture the flag imaginable while cramming like seven olives in her mouth
i dont' say this often. i desire her carnally.
The gun in the glove compartment surely that will not come back later
Oz originally checking his image in the reflection of the car vs asking Vic now, treating this kid as his reflection
Damn. Is Link really going to fall for Oz's shit again after that truck of cigs thing? Or is this just a ploy to get Oz into the right place for Sofia to pick him up?
Actually maybe that's what loses Vic, that Link betrayed him, and Oz expected it. Idk we shall see
Penguin planning to run for mayor in a couple movies?
Oh Oz is totally gonna send sofia to arkham ahahaha poor baby
Oh my god I thought Sofia was gonna claim credit for Sal's death, not that Oz would give it up himself
I cannot tell you guys how fucking tempting it is to skip right to the end of this episode to see if i'm right you guys
Wow Oz really eyeing that Mayor's office
Is he going to kill Bella and frame Sofia. Is he gonna kill bella and THAT is what turns Vic on him.
oh my god LINK
HAHAHAH I WAS SO RIGHT SHE IS BURNING DOWN FALCONE MANOR
oh god that's the watch Sofia gave him for his birthday FUCK YOU CARMINE
Sofia really is gonna fucking screw over EVERYONE hahaha THREE CIGS BABY
oh god she is so hot i love her you self actualize through arson baybeeeeeeee
that shot of her throwing the cig like a dart is so much oh my god
babygirl i love you
you deserve the world
but yeah she is going into the cold according to the needle drop. definitely going back to arkham
... what's in the trunk. i don't think it's normal luggage. is it more bombs
there is still 20 mins left. i am afraid
This is clearly a trap for someone i just don't know who. Where is vic
I'm so afraid this is the last we get to see of Sofia.
She knows. She always has such a nose for bullshit lmao. Also fuck you Link you gotta know Oz is gonna stab you in the back.
I do think it's promising that Julian has not been seen all day tho. What is he doing.
I love this. I love that Oz and Sofia finally get this one moment to be truly honest with each other.
Well. At the very least, Oz gets to be honest with Sofia. idk that he knows how to be honest with himself anymore.
Why does this look like a chemical factory. I know it's not happening but it'd be so funny for Sofia to become the joker right now.
just dunk her in the goop
Man. Is he actually going to shoot her. Police pls come and save my girl. Cannot believe that's what I'm begging for now.
oh my god
yeah i called it but. Man. This is so painful to watch. also i think my julian prayers are not going to be answered it did not look like Sofia had planned any of this
okay i'm normal about sofia being arrested now.
Okay. I'm normal.
I'm back to not being normal francis and vic and oz all in one place this is all gonna blow up emotionally
Is francis in a coma. is she totally brain dead oh my god.
oh man she really is never going to say she loves him hahaha
she let jack and benny's murderer go and it never got her anything
is he gonna kill her now.
TELL ME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME oz you fuckin
he's so fucking delusional jesus putting her hand on his head
dude. is Vic actually gonna live through this episode
holy fuck
did not call that in the least
well. i was right about the pyrrhic victory for Oz
"All kinds of things" shut the fuck up.
God. I cannot believe Vic is living through this show. Admittedly as the kind of guy that his parents would have been ashamed of, but.
Wait. No no
don't
don't do it
no nondfonfodnfodnfodfn
please dont
pelase dont
oz don't you dare
nONONNNONONONONONONONONONONONO
PLEASE DOJNT DO IT NOW PLEAE
NO NO HE IS THEO NLY ONE WHO HAS SEEN THE WEAKNESS AND HUMAN IN YOU
OZ YOU
OZ
NO
WITH YOUR HANDS???? WITH YOUR FUCKIGN HANDS???? I THOUGHT HE WOUDL PULL A GUN AT LEAST YOU FUCKING
ODSOFANDFONSODNOSDAGNOGNIOAGDSASGJDISGNAGLNFGOSANFOSDO
SANO
NON NO NONONONO
VIC
vic. vic. vic barely lived a month longer than his family
all that good heart and he just. enabled a monster to rise to power. to make gotham worse
HE'S MUGGING HIM
YOU PIECE OF SHIT YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT YOU BASTARD YOU
i
i
and the water takes him too.
JULIAN
oH MY GOD I WAS RIGHT AHHAAHHAHAHA
JULIAN
I WAS RIGHT ABOUT SOFIA GETTING MARRIAGE PROPOSALS HAHAHAHAHAH
SELINA KYLE???????? HELLO??????????????
bro.... oh my god..... this is....
I'm so happy.........
sofia smiling... sofia finding a new family member....
nvm i am so glad my original theories were wrong this is way better than anything i could have hoped for
oh my god
ohhhhh my god he actually is keeping his mom in a vegetative state.... exactly what she begged him not to do.......
she knows.... she knows... some part of her is aware in there ahahahahah
you should have let Rex kill him all those years ago
oh my god EVE???? EVE GIRL GET OUT BEFORE HE KILLS YOU TOO
oh no please tell me he never learned what happened with sofia and eve
hes literally just calling her ma. fuck me. mayeb that means eve is safe for now
NOT THE BATSIGNAL
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tinfoil-jones · 2 days ago
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For Your Own Good: Intermission
Askbox? Open
If you don't know what this post is about, "For Your Own Good" or tagged as "Early Amnesia AU" on tumblr is a dialogue-only Gravity Falls fanfiction I've been working on that kinda-sorta follows a Mystery Trio -esque timeline, where Ford doesn't build the portal. To sum it up, the whole fanfiction boils down to:
Researcher Ford: I told you I never wanted to see you again.
Mullet Stan: Dude, I don't know who you are or WTF you're talking about right now, but I'm leaving this town and never coming back. You are never seeing me again after this. I'm probably going to forget you in like five minutes.
Researcher Ford:
Researcher Ford: *immediately kidnaps him*
You can consider chapters 1-10 to be Act 1 of the fanfic, and I’m taking a break for at least a week, most likely longer. The chapters so far were already written out in advance, and so was a huge reveal, but I still need to tie things together.
Here’s some authors notes/extra stuff about it, some of it might have already been put in the AO3 before or after notes. These are in no particular order:
This takes place 10 years after Ford and Stan were separated, currently they are both 27 about to be 28. Fiddleford is slightly older than them, being in his early 30s.
Ford is unironically the only person who finds Stan’s really dumb jokes funny.
Ford is the one who displays the most behaviours that would be seen from Mabel and Dipper decades later. Like Dipper, he views washing clothes as a waste of time, and like Mabel he ate an entire tube of toothpaste (granted, it was on accident)
While Ford is the more likely of the two to display traits that later present in Mabel and Dipper, it still happens with Stan as well. Stan has a similar nervous-chewing habit that Dipper displays in the OG series, but his only comes out when he’s particularly anxious. In this case, it was because he had nicotine cravings.
The 'That motherfucker is ugly' line that Stan used on Ford can be considered extra ironic because of how much the Stan Twins look like their dad.
Bill Cipher was originally supposed to speak in Times New Bastard (which is Times New Roman except every 7th letter is jarringly sans serif, a meme from tumblr), but AO3 and tumblr don’t let you change the font.
Stan goes out of his way to avoid using Ford and Fiddlefords given names- but this isn’t because he doesn’t know what they are. In the few times he has used their names, it was a sign that he was being sincere.
If you want to wonder whether or not Fiddleford likes Stan back, consider the fact that he could have walked away at any point, and either washed his hands of the whole thing, or just outright reported Stanford to the authorities. 
Bill is more like Discord from MLP - he’s just chaotic, often to the detriment of others, but he isn’t outright malicious (anymore), and he’s too busy SIMPING to cause any real harm. Basically, Bill is Fords patron for studying weirdness - he helps Ford in his research, but the cost that Ford pays is that Bill is able to possess him when he sleeps, and has unlimited access to his brain.
If Ford knew Rick Sanchez, why didn’t Rick see how similar Stan looked and put 2-and-2 together? Easy; Rick didn’t give a single shit about Ford, so he never committed his face or name to memory. Ford himself only remembered Rick because Rick was such a massive, egotistical asshole. If anything, Rick would think Ford is the lesser version of Stan.
Chapter 10 was the first concrete proof that the Stan we’ve been following likely is Stanley Pines and not some similar conman named Stan Malone. The last time Ford saw Stan would have either been when they were teens, so other than Stans commercials for his failed products there’s no way Ford would know what an adult Stan would even look like, and he’d have to use himself as a reference.
Stan has given some insight on his Thalassophobia (fear of the ocean / large bodies of water). In Chapter 10, he told Ford a number of things he escaped, including the trunk of a sinking car, and cement shoes. Cement shoes are either when you tie someone to a cinder block and throw them into a body of water, or when you literally incase their feet in cement, wait for it to dry, and then toss them into a body of water, so they’ll drown. Presumably, these are still things that would have happened to him even if he didn't lose his memories, so why would it give him a fear of the ocean now? Stan Pines in the OG still had a lot of positive memories associated with the ocean - he grew up on the coast, and had a lot of his hopes and dreams tied to the ocean. But without his childhood memories, he has no positive associations with it, only memories of times he almost drowned. 
Ford himself is not a touchy guy. The reason he hugs Stan even though it isn’t reciprocated is because from his perspective, this is his twin brother who is in pain and has been suffering all by himself for a long time. And Stan - at least how Ford remembers him - had a very touch-based love language. Fords doing it because he thinks it’d comfort him.
Stan seems pretty calm and chill for someone who’s been kidnapped by a ‘stranger’. This isn’t because he’s an overall chill guy because of amnesia, no he’s super pissed and the second he knows he’s free he will let them know that with his words, and incredible violence. He’s remaining calm because he’s been imprisoned and kidnapped enough times to know that pitching a fit or lashing out at his captors won’t do him any favours.
Fiddleford is still married to Emma-May and they do have Tate. But it's one of those lavender marriages (they're both gay and mutually bearding each other)
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socialistexan · 20 hours ago
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I have to go back to work next week and honestly, I wish I had put into another two weeks off. Mostly because after all the stress of having the surgery and then immediately coming down with covid and then the election back to back to back, I've barely had time to rest.
Technically I can ask to remain on medical leave for that time, but because of some fucky shit that my company's hr did (they turn off your direct deposit if you go on medical leave), I haven't been paid for the entire month I've been out, despite the fact that I took out all 3 weeks of PTO that I had (technically this week was the only one where i wasn't supposed to be paid), and frankly can not afford to not get paid any more.
And now all my PTO is burned, despite me not getting the actual pay checks.
Ugh. I might just rest on the clock, tbh.
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gotta-winwin · 14 hours ago
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2019 debut year <> what is his problem?
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word count: 2.1k TW: a bucket of snark, cold wonwoo, mentions of bullying, swearing italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin
౨ৎ ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ
"Mingyu!" Cyana yelled from across the living room, her leg propped up as she sat icing her swollen ankle.
The boy in question slid into view, stumbling a little for balance as he grappled with the slippery wooden floors. "Yes, princess?"
Cyana made a little face at the nickname. "Can you charge my phone for me please? I left it in the kitchen and I can't stand up." She pouted at the mention of her rolled ankle. "And I thought I told you not to call me that."
Mingyu let out a deep sigh. "It's fitting though, don't you think? You are seventeen's princess." He poked her ankle gently. "Look at me, waiting on you hand and foot."
She sent him a glare. "You're the reason I'm like this." She let her upper half crumple dramatically onto the couch.
Mingyu had came rushing into practice this afternoon, colliding into an unaware Cyana, who had just been trying to leave the room for water. Everyone had chalked it up to the fact that Mingyu only ever looked parallel to his height, and could not see Cyana below him.
"I've already apologized." He whined, leaving to grab her phone. "You're even sleeping over so I can take care of you. Seungcheol said it was my punishment. You know only special people can ever enter the Minwon residence."
She scoffed. She noticed she was unnaturally riled up today, annoyed by the pain and inconvenience of not being able to walk. "Special, my ass."
"Hey." Mingyu stared at her from the doorway, having been on his way to grab a charger for her phone. He sent her a frown. "I understood that."
Cyana stuck out her tongue in retaliation, smiling to herself when it got a loud laugh from Mingyu. She watched him walk out of view, probably to his room to grab his charger.
They really had started to feel a little like family, Cyana realized as she sat there, with nothing to do but to ponder. She wouldn't have ever expected to be enjoying small moments like this, despite her ankle still throbbing. She also wouldn't have ever thought this job would be anymore than purely working. She never imagined she'd make friends, let alone call 13 boys her family. Well, 11 boys, she correctly ruefully. Woozi had been refusing to speak to her since the Hug BPM incident, although Cyana noticed he had changed it to be 138. Wonwoo was another one who seemed to be doing everything under the sun to avoid her, despite them literally being under the same roof right now. He had helped Mingyu move her from the car to their couch, gave her a look over and retreated to his room.
She let out a huff. She'd been here for nearly two months now, and comeback season would begin in less than two weeks. Wonwoo or Woozi (preferably both) would have to get their shit together sooner or later, before fans began to notice and shit started getting stirred.
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Mingyu knocked twice on Wonwoo's door before entering. The last time he had walked in unannounced, a controller had been sent flying his way.
"Wonwoo hyung~" He called, reaching over to move Wonwoo's headset slightly off his ear. "Can I borrow your charger?"
Wonwoo frowned, blinking at Mingyu, his eyes adjusting from the bright screen back to reality. "Why?" Mingyu's phone wasn't adaptable to his charger head.
Mingyu waved the lilac phone in his hand. "Cyana's phone."
"She's got you charging her phone for her now?" Wonwoo muttered, getting up to grab it from the floor next to his bed. "Puppy."
"Hey!" Mingyu protested indignantly. "Her ankle's injured. I'm just helping. Like you should be doing."
Wonwoo frowned. "Why would I?"
"She's family."
Wonwoo scoffed. "She's not family. Family is the people who were there with us in that fucking lime green room."
Mingyu cut his eyes at the older boy, disappointed. "Cyana's a good person. You'd know if you'd just give her a chance."
"She's a ticking time bomb, Gyu. You need to realize that." Wonwoo's shoulders sagged as he sighed, handing over his charger. "She's going to blow up our comeback either way."
"You've been talking too much with Woozi hyung." Mingyu decided. "One skeptic's enough in this group."
"She's got 11 cheerleaders and knights-in-waiting already." Wonwoo quickly countered, sitting back down and putting his headphones back on, clicking open a new game. "I just don't think we'd get along."
Mingyu rolled his eyes. "She's literally you, Wonwoo. Down the a T." He groaned when the older boy gave no reaction, the headphones blocking his words. "Aish-" He slapped the back of Wonwoo's head gently. "Idiot."
Returning back to the living room, he plugged the charger in the outlet next to Cyana and handed her her phone. "You better thank Wonwoo later, it's his charger."
Cyana groaned. "Why~ Couldn't you have just grabbed yours?"
"My charger doesn't fit your phone, nana." Mingyu frowned. "Did something happen between you and Wonwoo hyung or what?"
"What do you mean?"
Mingyu took a seat next to her, hands reaching over to bring her injured foot into his lap, massaging her ankle. "Just mean that there has to be a reason you hate each other, that's all."
"I don't hate him, Gyu." Cyana sighed. "I just don't like being where I'm clearly not wanted."
"I'll talk to him."
Cyana shook her head. "No, no. Don't make it worse. It's okay, Gyu." She patted his arm. "Wonwoo not liking me isn't going to destroy me. As long as he hides it well during recordings, we're fine."
"He's my best friend though~" Mingyu whined. "I want my two best friends to get along well."
Cyana let out a shaky laugh, hit by a sudden jolt of pain when Mingyu pressed on a particular spot. "Sadly we don't always get what we want." She squeezed his shoulder. "Really, though. It's okay. I still have more friends than I ever had before."
He frowned. "What's that supposed to mean?"
She shrugged. "I didn't really have friends growing up, is all. I was busy."
Mingyu looked at her sadly. "That's not good. Childhood friends are the best. You didn't make any at school?"
Cyana thought for a little bit, reaching over to move Mingyu's fingers to a certain spot where she felt like the pain was the most. "I had some friends in Vancouver, but once we moved to LA, everyone kind of already had friends. So it was awkward to join them."
"Oh." Mingyu couldn't wrap his head around the idea that Cyana didn't have friends in LA. She was so comforting and funny and pretty and good.
"They were all mean anyways." Cyana shrugged off the heaviness that the memories had brought her. "Not very friend-material."
Mingyu nodded. "I guess." He was still sad though, imagining lonely baby Cyana in the middle of a busy and large LA.
Sensing his sadness for her, Cyana offered him a bright smile. "I have you now. And Shua. And Kyeomie, and Boo, and Chan, and Vernon." She began counting them with her fingers, earning a smile from Mingyu. "And Hannie, and Hoshi, and Jun, and Haohao, and Seungcheol." She paused. "Well, kind of Seungcheol. I don't know if we're there yet." Looking up at Mingyu, she smiled. "But still! That's a lot of friends."
"I'm glad." Mingyu could only say, although his eyes said a whole lot more. I'm glad you have us. I'm glad you see us as your friends. I'm glad you're our friend. My friend. Cyana's grateful smile told him she understood.
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The next morning, Cyana woke up in a stranger's bed. She sat up, frowning when she didn't recognize the bedroom she was in. Mingyu's bedroom did not have pretty LED lights coming from the ceiling, and last time she checked, he didn't own a gaming station.
"Get up."
Her eyes widened at the sound of Wonwoo's voice. She turned her head to look at him, leaning on the doorframe of the connected bathroom.
"What?" She mumbled, still deciding whether or not it was all a dream. It had to be, for on what planet would she wake up in Wonwoo's bed?
"I said get up." Wonwoo sighed, pushing himself off the doorframe to grab his coat from the foot of the bed. Sensing her confusion, he bit back a tiny smile. "You and Mingyu both fell asleep on the couch last night. I brought Mingyu back to his bed but found you couldn't fit comfortably next to him so I brought you here." He threw his coat on, grabbing his keys and phone as well. "I slept outside on the couch, don't worry."
Cyana's face flushed. It didn't go past her that this was the most words Wonwoo had ever spoken to her. "Sorry." She moved to get up. A large hand stopped her, grabbing her shoulder.
"Sorry." Wonwoo mumbled, releasing her. "Your ankle."
"Oh." Her face flushed again. "I think it should be fine. Mingyu's pretty good at physical therapy."
Throwing her legs over the side of the bed, Cyana stood up, gingerly placing weight on her bad ankle. Wonwoo stood a couple steps away from her, ready if something were to go wrong.
"It's fine." Cyana gave him a tentative smile. "Thanks. You could've just left me on the couch." She had definitely expected him to.
"Maybe I should've." Wonwoo muttered. "Hip Hop unit's got practice early today. Breakfast's on the table. Don't call. Don't burn the house down. And don't touch my things." He left the room without another word. Cyana heard Mingyu's voice from the distance and could hear the front door shutting behind them.
She blinked, frozen. She didn't know whether to cry or celebrate that Wonwoo had finally acknowledged her presence. His actions and words confused her greatly. It was i put you in my bed and slept outside so you can sleep well and then shout loudly to wake you up followed by a got you breakfast ending with a i don't trust you in my house.
She sighed, shaking her head. Boys.
Although her stomach grumbled, she opted to skip breakfast. Her stylists had complained that she wasn't fitting the skirt they'd made for their stage performances, despite it being not her size at all. She supposed it meant she still had a long way to go before she would look good onstage next to the members.
Looking around the room, she was able to properly see Wonwoo's place for the first time. It was clean, she expected nothing less from him. Everything about him screamed clean.
The computer hummed with life despite it being off and it was surrounded by photographs and equipment. She smiled when she spotted a photograph of what looked to be young seventeen, huddled together in the midst of their trainee years. There was also a few photos of a dog, who she assumed was Wonwoo's back home. There were books as well, overfilling the shelves that lined the far wall. That was something Cyana could relate to, although these titles were all in Korean instead of English. She found that she missed having books to read. It was hard to find anything good in Korea that she could understand.
She could've spent eternity in Wonwoo's room just looking at things, trying to decipher a person she desperately wanted to know. Her phone rang however, startling her.
"Hello?" It was their manager.
"Oh. Manager oppa. What's going on?" Cyana frowned. The manager rarely called them, schedules and changes were usually relayed through text.
"We have a couple company higher-ups who want to see your improvement before the comeback, Soyeon-ssi. I'm sorry to spring it on you now, but they'll be at Pledis soon. Could you come over quickly?"
Her blood rang cold. "Oh, uh- yes. I'm at Mingyu's right now. I'll be there in 10 minutes."
"Great. No need to panic, Soyeon. They just want to know if you're ready."
That was the thing though. Cyana didn't think she was ready. Sure, she'd been practicing with the others, learning techniques she hadn't learnt in LA, but she still wasn't as polished as the others. She couldn't quite grasp the concept of levels and angles, although she tried her hardest knowing it was essential to Seventeen's famed synchronization.
Rushing out of Wonwoo's room, she threw on the first hoodie she found in Mingyu's room before rushing to leave, locking the door behind her. Waving down a taxi, she sent prayers to all the gods she did not believe in that she'd pass whatever test they were giving her. She wanted to debut. She needed to. She wasn't about to let herself be sent back to LA. Not when she had family here.
author's note: ahhh! thank you so much for reading! things are about to get intense (,,>﹏<,,)
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patolemus · 2 days ago
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Wip Monday
Tagged by @gege-wondering-around @dontcallpanic and probably @novasillies at some point (yes I know I'm the literal worst please forgive me). Because I can never do anything like I'm supposed to, I'm not posting on Wednesday. This is a little thing I've been toying with per @superfluffycam-blog's request, nothing concrete yet but the idea is slowly coming together. With my track record, I'll either write the whole thing in one sitting sometime soon or it'll take ages (speaking of ages the Time Travel fic Is Coming I fucking promise!! It's been a very busy month but I'm done with my classes in like two weeks and then I just have to get through finals. I'll be back to post deranged shit about sterek after that)
The house is quiet. It’s always quiet these days, his dad away at the station for what feels like one long infinite shift, and Stiles running around town with a bunch of supernaturally inclined creatures at odd hours. On the nights he’s not running from certain death, Stiles keeps to his bedroom, headphones on and blaring music loud enough his eardrums hurt because at least that way he can pretend that’s the reason he doesn’t hear any noise around the house.
It wasn’t always like this. Stiles remembers a time when the house was full of noise, all the time. The low tunes playing on the radio in the kitchen, the occasional clang of pans against wooden spoons, the buzz of the television broadcasting the latest baseball game. Small giggles and loud shrieks of laughter, soft humming in the living room as his parents slow danced in the evening.
No one hums or slow dances anymore.
Stiles’ footsteps sound way too loud in the otherwise silent house. He drops his backpack by the stairs to pick up on his way to his room later, and beelines for the kitchen. There is a lone plate sitting on the drying rack, the only sign that his dad has come home sometime during the day while he was away at school. Stiles is not naive enough to believe that to be a coincidence. He and his dad haven’t crossed paths since… ah, Stiles doesn’t even know anymore. Between the werewolves and the hunters and the kanimas and the fucking crazy that has become his life, the days seem to be going by way too fast to keep count of them. These days, Stiles only has space in his head for the dates of the full moons.
He gets started on dinner before working on his homework. Stiles makes food for two, even though he knows his dad probably won’t come home to eat it in favor of getting something from the diner—a salad, most likely, because he has all of his dad’s usual haunts bribed and monitored, as well as all of his deputies, to make sure they don’t sell his dad anything that might make his health go sideways. Stiles knows most of them merely indulge him because of their own affection towards him, but Stiles isn’t above using that to make his dad stays as healthy as possible.
On the off chance the Sheriff does come home tonight, though—a slim, slim chance, Stiles wants there to be food for him to eat. He doesn't want to give his dad another reason to be disappointed, another reason to be mistrustful. Stiles still feels cold all over when he remembers the resignation on his dad's eyes, how he'd said he didn't know who Stiles was anymore.
It’s... it's been a tough year.
And I'm afraid that's all I've got for you. I've always loved the stories that explore Stiles and the Sheriff's complex relationship, how Claudia's death altered their dynamic to the point where it was hard to figure out who was the parent and who was the child, how Stiles became this autonomous, independent character we see in canon at the age of 10 years old. This is, in theory, meant to be a character study centered on that topic. Will I succeed? Who knows!! Not me. Gently tagging @dontcallpanic @salty-fryingpan @endwersed @novasillies @hedwig221b and @gege-wondering-around
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midnightmischief10 · 2 days ago
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welp. i'm posting this unedited and EXTREMELY self indulgent pedro pascal x reader fic. i have more written, but i will only post the full thing if ppl are also as sick and twisted as me.
hope who ever reads this, feels a little more seen bc i am SICK (well not really HHAHAH) of all the pedro character ddlg fics!! i just wanted to write something more realistic? idk welp, here it is! (not in its entirety:P )
Si no te hubieras ido
pairings: Pedro Pascal x Reader
warnings: age gap, drinking, reader is in their 20s
getting to work on a set like The Mandalorian was a dream if you were being honest. no, you weren't some high end actor, or a famous director, just someone part of the production crew, doing things like planning, writing, hell even editing. you'd do anything to just be a part of a project like this.
interactions with the actors were also common in a job like this, but apart from just guiding them through certain scenes and how they should look, you really didn't cross the boundaries that weren't professional. It was really nice to admire them though. Getting the occasional chat with big shot superstars was so cool and always something to brag about to your family even though they weren't supportive of your career choice. You didn’t end up a doctor or lawyer like they wanted, but hey! You did something you loved.
It was honestly a very normal day in the workplace. You were working in the art department as usual, helping make sure the vision that the director wanted was really coming through. Being behind the scenes for such big projects like these was really something. Your admiration for the process really grew getting to do all the behind the scenes work, it was such a nice feeling seeing the thing you along with many others, worked so hard on being televised was something special.
You weren't the overly ambitious type, but the thought of directing something sounded really cool.
You continued on, designing what the director wanted on a few scenes we’d be working on in the following weeks.
Lost in your work you didn’t expect anyone to come up to you for anything, you weren't the art director so it wasn't usual for people to come to you. Unbeknownst to you, you felt a sudden hand on your arm, not roughly just to get your attention.
you look up and woah…why the hell was Pedro Pascal standing right behind you.
"uhm, I'm sorry to bother you, you seem busy, but I've been meaning to ask, would you like to go out for a drink sometime?" Pedro asked.
huh? what…the…fuck…?
it caught you off guard.
Firstly, why was Pedro Pascal even looking for you? Because I mean you? of all people he could ask something like that, it was you? A man notorious for not having any sort of relationship, at least not public, was standing here with you asking you to go out for a drink.
you didn’t even think about your response before the words fell from your mouth.
"oh..uhm…Is this some kind of prank?"
you dumb BITCH WHY WOULD U SAY THAT???
was what you thought immediately after.
In your defense, you were in disbelief because what the hell was Pedro Pascal, a very prominent and influential actor, asking you out for drinks? I mean the interactions you both have had were merely professional and work related so why?
he looked confused at your answer, maybe even a little insulted, which was not your intention.
"shit I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound rude I'm just in a bit of disbelief" you let out an awkward laugh to soften the previous response and got out of your seat to face him properly. how do you even respond to a question like that, you had no idea that's for certain.
He stared softly at you and started, "no I'm sorry, that was very sudden haha. no need to say yes I just wanted to see if you would." His response was genuine and he wore a soft smile as he did.
God, was he really handsome up close.
To be quite honest, you always found him super attractive. But he was the internet’s daddy so it wasn't just you who felt attraction towards him. And sure, you might've dabbled in the idea of maybe even going out with him, but you were realistic with yourself.
But here you are now. Getting asked out on a date with this hunk of a man.
You were still lost in thought, trying to reflect on what was occurring and what came out of Pedro’s mouth.
He spoke again, "Sorry, just forget it ev-"
"no no, I mean I'd love to, who wouldn't want to go out for drinks with you, I'm just not all that special ya know?" you were being honest. You weren't some super sexy model or a renowned actor, you were just some girl working on the same set as Pedro.
Also, you were much younger than Pedro.
"I'd beg to differ." he said quite frankly. He smiled that sweet and tender smile of his and you couldn't help but think, for an older man he was sure fine.
you were daydreaming again at this point when Pedro spoke again,"so...is that a yes then?" it snapped you back to reality. It was so odd to see him so nervous over something like this, but being in the know of most things Hollywood, everyone who knew Pedro also knew that he had social anxiety so it must've taken a lot out of him to even ask you out
your heart raced, “yea- yes, I'll go for a drink with you.” you smiled, but if you were being honest you were really nervous too. What exactly did he see in you? Sure you were kind and respectful, but that's how you were with everyone. Pedro felt way out of your league to even grasp the idea of flirting with him, I mean come on. Who would even think about flirting with an A-list celebrity, especially someone way way WAY younger than he was and someone who wasn’t on any level to him.
he had a huge smile on his face, he seemed so content. “Great, should I get your number while I’m at it?” He pulled out his phone and handed it to you. You slightly grazed his hand when he did and it caught you by surprise.
His hands were so big, and you didn’t realize till just then how much of a height difference you two had.
You put your name and number, your hands were trembling a bit as you did so.
“here you go. so…when should I expect that drink?” you tried being coy to play off the fact that you were actually freaking out.
he smiled and laughed, “what about tonight then?”
that was quick
“oh. uhm yeah sure, i get off at 5, would like 8 be okay.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll pick you up, wear something nice.”
“Do I not look nice now?” you said sarcastically.
“No no, you always look great, I’d just like to see you in a dress.” He looked at you with so much love, his sweet smile still plastered hard on his face.
You couldn’t help but blush hard.
Has he always looked at me?
“I’ll send you my address then, see you tonight.”
“See you tonight.” and he stepped out.
what the fuck were you getting into
~~~~~~~
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snootlestheangel · 1 year ago
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Autism Mood of The Day
Being so frustrated about every little thing and crying because you don't know how to express your emotions.
So then you end up crying in front of your parents and make them uncomfortable/feel frustrated cause they don't know why you're crying "ItS nOt ThAt BiG oF a DeAl" or they don't know how to help
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illusioncanthurtme--art · 2 months ago
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Physically? I am sitting in my bedroom. Mentally? Spiritually? I AM DEAD ON THE FLOOR!!!!! THESE TWO HAVE KILLED ME!!!!
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(Another drawing! This was originally attempt #1 at drawing stan, and then fiddleford just showed up. Kinda feels like them five minutes after the above acting like nothing happened though, so it works sdjkgkjfshj)
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starry-bi-sky · 1 month ago
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Blood Blossom Au: Baby's First Commissioner Meeting :)
TL:DR This Post: Danny (orphan) gets poisoned with blood blossom extract by Vlad. He runs away from him and ends up under the care of one Pre-Robin Battinson Batman! Starry is loudly pushing her batdad agenda.
(Also known as "Late At Night, When The Nightingale Sings" on my ao3!)
This was a fun rough idea I've been sitting on for weeks, thinking about how Commissioner Gordon and Nightingale's first meeting might go.
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Commissioner Gordon likes to think that he's adjusting to the new normal of Gotham very well, -- the new normal being grown men running around dressed like bats, in military-grade strength body armor, committing acts of vigilantism, -- and slowly, little by little, he was no longer being surprised when this new normal pops up out of the shadows like the world's most terrifying daisy. His shaving lifespan thanks him for it.
....
The kid is a surprise though.
Granted, he seemed to be a surprise to the Bat too.
There's been a string of murders lately, -- which, in Gotham, is kind of like saying there's been another storm during monsoon season. And there's just been another; in some dilapidated building down in south Gotham, with the broken, boarded-up windows and mildew-crawling walls to match. The victim is a man in his thirties, multiple gunshot wounds to the chest, left in the center of the room for the blood to pool out around him.
The place is already secured when he arrives, the building swarmed with officers and the forensic detectives. The Bat emerges shortly after he does -- or, he might've been here the whole time, hiding someplace dark and shadowy. For his own sanity, Gordon doesn't think about it too hard.
The kid is a surprise, and he appears like a bolt of lightning.
He shows up in the middle of a conversation Gordon is having with the Bat.
A whistle, sharp and loud, slicing through the air, meant for open air rather than a confined space. Gordon's ears pierce and protest the sound, and the solemn, murmured chatter floating through the room abruptly cuts off like the swing of a gavel. As he turns towards the sound -- as they all do -- he swears, up and down, that he sees Batman's shoulders jump, just slightly.
At the source, perched on the window, is a boy. A boy in a gray-blue scarf and an oversized black hoodie, one that hangs off his frame and has ace bandages wrapped around the wrists in some attempt to cinch the sleeves. The hood is up, big like the rest of it, and threatens to swallow the upper half of the boy's face whole in the fabric. What upper half Gordon can see, is smeared with some kind of opaque, black face paint. He's holding onto the side of the frame with one hand, on his hip is a grappling hook. A familiar grappling hook.
Gordon has multiple questions, and his officers tense up.
Martinez puffs up, brows furrowing as his face shapes into a frown. Shoulders rolling back. "You can't be here, kid--"
The reaction is immediate, like a spark to gunpowder, the boy yanks his fingers from his mouth and his mouth twists into a scowl. Head snapping over to Officer Martinez, his hood manages to stay on but Gordon swears that as he bares his teeth, the glint makes them look sharper than they should be. His voice is rasp and quiet and harsh; snappish in its hissing; "Put a fuckin sock in it, Martinez. I'm not stayin."
Martinez reels back, and the boy immediately veers his attention off him. Like a switch, his demeanor drops. Despite half his face being covered, his mouth twists into a cringing, apologetic smile. Slanted and off-beat, embarrassed. It'd be disarming if this wasn't Gotham, and if he didn't just hiss at Martinez like he was about to bite his head off.
"Sorry." He whispers, voice deceptively polite and softer now. Gordon has to strain his ears to hear him. "I was looking for him."
He points his finger towards-- Gordon? No, Gordon follows the direction, and finds himself looking at -- the Bat.
The Bat, who always looks stiff as a pole, now looks even stiffer. Somehow. Well, the explains the grappling hook attached to the boy's waist.
"What are you doing here?" The Bat says, gruff and unable to completely smother the stumble of surprise in his tone.
The boy still holds a sheepish smile, and slips off the window ledge. His feet hit the creaky boards with a near-silent thud, the Batman finds his feet and rapidly begins crossing the room.
Gordon notes the slight tremble in the boy's legs as he straightens. He adjusts his scarf, which droops close to his knees now that he's standing, and slings a backpack -- how long has had that? -- off his shoulders. When the Bat reaches his side, he does as he always does, and looms over the boy like a spectre. A threatening mass of shadows cloaked in all-consuming black. Standing next to him, the boy looks teeny in comparison.
The Bat is a man who terrifies even the most hardened criminals, Gordon has seen grown men shiver in fear at the mention of his name. And yet when the boy looks up at him, he doesn't even flinch.
Instead, his sheepish smile melts away like ice under the sun, holding only traces of his previous embarrassment. It remains as a shadow on his face, a small upturn at the corners of his mouth. The boy pushes his hood back just enough to reveal glinting, ice-flint eyes surrounded in tar-black face paint. He holds the backpack up with one arm. "You forgot this."
#I have never seen Batman (2022) so really I'm just using battinson and crew as templates for my fic. but hey what else is new lol#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc fic#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc fanfic#i dont know shit about detective work or true crime so forgive me for any bad terminology or incorrect procedure for how these things work#just a fun rough idea for how i imagined gordon's first meeting with nightingale goes LMAO. im sticking to the idea that danny doesn't#officially join the field for a *while* due to more than just health reasons. so his first appearances are brief and usually to give B smth#danny: im only here as express delivery for vader's little brother over there. yall stay safe tho.#bruce: *kill bill sirens bass-boosted* ohmygodwhatishedoinghere#batman: how did you get here... | danny: you have so many spare grappling hooks it was pr easy to just grab one and go#also danny is whispering on purpose because he doesn't have his ghost form to fall back on as a secret identity. so he *is* actually taking#extra steps to keep his identity safe. and people usually sound different when they're whispering. he also has personal beef with#office martinez despite the fact that they've never met. Danny's HEARD of his ass. he hATES his ass.#Martinez: *to batman* freak | danny: im going to Bite Him. | batman (reluctantly): hmr. please don't. | danny: im going for his shins#Martinez and Nightingale have this whole thing going on between the two of them. danny WILL slap a sticky note on Martinez's back that says#'asshole' on it and its the one spot square on his spine that martinez can't reach.#someone: why are you beefing with like. an actual 12 year old | martinez: HE'S A LITTLE RAT. THAT'S WHY. he's here to torment me#battinson: *did you grapple the whole way here* | danny: yah. it was kinda fun. i would've gotten here faster but i kept having to stop#battinson: *hnnn* im driving you back | danny:.. are you sure? | battinson already pulling him out of the room: y e s#i've been thinking about this for literally WEEKS. what did bruce forget? good question! i'll figure that out if or when i get to this#danny has Issues behind the word freak so its like a mini beserker button for him regardless of who the word is aimed at lol. lmao#martinez calls batman a freak once while nightingale is within range and its just the doom ost as danny simply Disappears from sight#like oops. you are now. In Danger. rip couldn't be me.#blood blossom au
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bizarrelittlemew · 1 year ago
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calling it right now that season 3 starts like this
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iwritenarrativesandstuff · 7 months ago
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Killua and the Power of Wishes
Okay going to try and make this coherent because the amount of wish association all through Killua's character development makes me want to chew plaster.
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As a fair warning, this analysis ended up being long as hell, and I didn't even include everything I could've said. This is also just one lens to analyze Killua's story arc with, and I feel there are other valid interpretations of some of these moments. This is just one of mine, so keep that in mind please.
One last warning that this analysis does discuss emotional manipulation and abuse, as is par for Killua's background.
Let's set the stage with one important piece of info: Killua's birthday.
Killua's birthday is July 7th, the same day as Tanabata. Tanabata is a folklore-rich festival where according to legend, the two lovers, weaver Orihime and cowherd Hikoboshi, represented by the two stars, Vega and Altair, are allowed to reunite once a year after separation. A popular custom of Tanabata is to make wishes by writing them down on tanzaku, then hang it on a bamboo tree so that the wish might one day come true.
Tanabata is also known as the Star Festival. Please keep this in mind, because I'm going to come back to it.
To finish setting up the lens for this analysis, I'm going to need to dig into the game-changer scene for Killua's early characterization - his confrontation with Illumi at the end of the Hunter Exam, and specifically, the exact nature of Illumi's manipulation of him.
I say "game-changer" because it really is - up until this point, it's kind of fair to not fully know what to think about Killua. Certainly, he seems excited to hang out with Gon (he approached him first, after all) and he's friendly enough, but he's also arrogant and claims to be motivated mainly by boredom. For all intents and purposes, Killua seems set up to be Gon's dangerous yet charismatic rival... but then this scene happens and it completely turns it all on its head.
Because Killua may have mentioned his family was controlling before, but he seriously downplayed the severity of it - likely because he has no point of reference for how awful his situation actually is other than it makes him feel bad and trapped. Illumi's appearance immediately shifts our understanding of Killua from runaway murder kid with annoying murder family to straight-up victim of emotional abuse, and dissolves his cockiness instantly to terror.
What does all this have to do with wishes? Glad you asked. Let's look at some of Illumi's dialogue.
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[ID: A screenshot from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. Killua looks up, sweating and conflicted, as Illumi tells him "You don't want anything or wish for anything." End ID.]
This is the crux of Illumi's (and the family's) control. Killua's desires do not align with the family trade. They must be excised from him.
When Killua insists that he does have something that he really wants, Illumi says "Tell me what it is you want", in a mockery of a certain other sibling who would have helped fulfill this wish - Illumi asks only so he can completely dismantle it. And Killua isn't even really surprised at Illumi's words, just heartbroken. You can tell this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.
Killua states his wish quite fervently; he really means it. But his words are not rebellious, nor cathartic. Instead, he answers Illumi quietly, as if fearful or ashamed, almost reminiscent of a sinner's confession.
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[ID: Two screenshots from HxH episode 20 of the 2011 anime. In the first Killua looks down with a troubled expression, saying "I want to become friends with Gon...". In the second, his face is hidden as he stands with hands clenched at his sides with a spotlight on him. He says "I'm sick of killing people..." End ID.]
It's such an innocent, simple want.
And Illumi proceeds to make him feel like even something so simple is harmful and selfish of him... not to the family, but to Gon.
In a matter of a few minutes, Illumi breaks down Killua's wish by:
Acknowledging this desire, but twisting it into something that will inevitably fade over time, thereby causing Killua to doubt his own conviction and feelings -> "Gon is a novelty, a radiant presence who has piqued your curiosity. No more than that."
Acknowledging that Gon is someone important to Killua, and undermining this by telling him that by his very nature, he will eventually bring harm to Gon, which makes him feel as though Killua cannot trust himself to be a good friend -> "If you try to be friends with him, you will one day want to kill him... because you are, by nature, a murderer." (As a... delightful... bonus, this is also apparently how Silva and Illumi justify their treatment of Killua to him - "This is the essence of your existence and we taught you accordingly." Like they adapted to Killua's nature, instead of them molding Killua into who they wanted him to be.)
Delivering an ultimatum - to fight Illumi and win, or else Gon will die - that Killua is doomed to fail due to his upbringing and the needle in his head. Since Killua doesn't know about the needle, he assumes this is his own personal failure, something Illumi feeds into -> "You're just not qualified to make friends."
And it's the last point that breaks him. The first two shoot down Killua's present wish, but the last proceeds to shatter any hope he might've had of wishing for anything similar in the future - he has told him that his desires are weak, temporary, inherently dangerous to those around him, and worst of all, aren't enough on their own for him to deserve friendship and love from others. And the clincher: Killua feels like all of this is his own fault, that there is something inherently dangerous and wrong with him!
So, it doesn't even matter to Killua anymore if he fails the Hunter Exam. To him, he just failed the only test that mattered.
10/10 manipulation, Illumi. Fuck you, seriously.
Killua's character arc is mainly his quest and struggle to refute Illumi's arguments and to shake off the manipulation and the ways in which his family have molded and controlled him. And by far, the most difficult part of his conditioning to shake off is this idea that he is undeserving of anything more than what he is already given.
It's almost like the family has drilled it into him that wishes are dangerous. How interesting.
Thankfully, however, there are two parties to Killua's wish here - Gon, too, is a part of it, and it is not simply his reciprocated desire to be Killua's friend that saves him, but also his recognition of Killua's situation for what it is (notably, when no one else correctly identified the true issue).
"You know it wasn't his choice. You manipulated him, kidnapping his spirit!"
The ensuing Zoldyck family arc emphasizes that Gon is 100% correct: the main hold Killua's family has on him isn't physical - it's all emotional.
Killua breaks one of his shackles when Milluki threatens to have his new friends killed, but he only breaks the rest when Zeno tells him he's free to go. So, if Killua could break loose at any point, was this still a rescue like Gon said?
Well, yes - just because he absolutely could've broken out physically at any time, that does not mean he could just leave. That's the nature of situations such as this - it's not as simple as "just leaving". Support is necessary, as is actually having something tangible outside the situation to go to - otherwise there is little point to leaving at all. Gon (and Kurapika and Leorio) showing up to free Killua showed him that his wish was reciprocated and allowed him to break one cuff - this is the start of his journey, but he still has a long ways to go. Notably, he again hesitates and closes off when Silva asks what he wants.
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[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 42. In the first, Silva asks Killua "...would you like to see [Gon]?" Killua's expression is complicated in the next panel - he's closed off and uncertain. Silva continues "Be honest, Kil... what do you want?" End ID.]
Killua will backtalk and casually break his shackles and death glare his family... but he's too fearful to voice his wants aloud.
And once again, asked by his father what he wants, he is subtly set up to fail. His wish is granted, but made conditional - "Do not betray your friends", something Killua is regrettably set up to do by virtue of the needle in his head that he, again, doesn't know about. Silva fully expects him to fail and come back home, disillusioned, believing it's his own fault due to his "nature", and trusting in Silva still as a "reasonable" figure in his life.
This condition placed on his friendship is what drives much of Killua's fear and insecurity with regards to Gon for much of the series - the idea that Killua has to earn his right to friendship, and that if he doesn't, he will lose it, one way or another.
It really makes me wish that Killua had actually gotten to hear Gon's views on friendship from the beginning of the Zoldyck Family arc, because it entirely refutes this entire philosophy. He even outright refuses to go through the Testing Gates at first, purely because he thinks the sentiment of needing to prove yourself just to be friends is completely outrageous - he only relents because there is no other way.
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[ID: Two screenshots from episodes 21 and 22 of the 2011 HxH anime adaptation. Gon looks up at Illumi and firmly states "[Killua] doesn't need to earn the right to be my friend!" In the second, Gon's face is seen in profile and close up as he asks "Why would you test your friends?" End ID.]
I doubt it would've truly prevented Killua's insecurity from manifesting even if he had heard this, to be honest - his issues with usefulness are very deep-rooted in his upbringing - but still, it would've been nice for him to hear, I think.
However, that's not to say that this exact sentiment doesn't come through in their interactions.
Gon, as Killua's friend, cares about what Killua actually wants and wants to make sure Killua knows that - and that's part of what makes the Whale Island conversation between them really important.
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[ID: Two images, both of the same scene from HxH chapter 64, and episode 37 of the 2011 anime. In the manga panel, Gon has turned his head to look at Killua directly, who looks shocked and taken aback, to say "I like hanging out with you." In the anime screenshot, Gon has turned his whole body to face Killua, and says "I think it's fun to be with you." End ID.]
I see a lot of people chalk this up to just Gon being Gon, but it reads to me as much more deliberate than even his usual honesty. He's turned so he's looking directly at Killua, which is a sure way to make his words come across clearly. The lead up to this is Killua, again, not knowing or being able to vocalize what he wants. He doesn't have a goal to work towards like Gon, he only knows what he doesn't want - he's a mix of envious and admiring towards Gon, who knows what he wants and simply goes for it.
But this conversation makes it clear that they have a shared wish - they both want to be friends, and they'd both like to stay together. It's not about earning, to Gon, it's only about if they both want the same thing - mutual, not conditional. There's a nice almost call-and-response type dialogue here, where Gon asserts that he likes spending time with Killua (very directly lol), then shares that Killua is the first friend his age he's had. This prompts Killua to say that Gon is his first friend ever, and that he does have fun with him. And just like that, Gon replies "Then let's stay together!" and pointedly includes Killua's desire to find a goal in their, now shared, upcoming journey.
Overhead, a shooting star appears in the sky. A mutual wish is granted.
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[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 64. The night sky is full of stars. In the centre is a shooting star. End ID.]
Hm. Stars. Remember how I told you to keep that in mind, all the way back at the beginning? Their association with Tanabata, making a wish on a shooting star, etc. etc.?
Well, buckle up because this star is going to make you experience so much sadness now.
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[ID: Panels from HxH chapter 286. The first is a conversation between Killua and Meleoron where Killua asserts he intends to "go down in flames with [Gon]". When Meleoron looks concerned, Killua brushes off the declaration as a joke. In the second image, Killua is turned away, his outline pale, as Meleoron thinks "Why... did you looks so sad... back there?" The last image is a cloudy night sky filled with stars. At the centre of the panel is a shooting star. End ID.]
Yeah, it makes its reappearance directly after Killua has "jokingly" resolved to die with Gon if it comes down to it, after "since it means nothing to you".
I am assured, in Japanese, the word choice here is 心中 (shinjuu), the word for double suicide, where the intent is to die at the same time in the same manner in order to be reunited in the afterlife. The implication here is that Killua, having increasingly grown insecure in his place by Gon's side but unable to voice this, knowing that Gon is hurtling down the path of no return, thinks back to their conversation under the stars where they both mutually wished to stay together and, because he believes that it is no longer possible for him to help Gon, has resolved to stay by his side in death, and after it.
...holy shit, kid.
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[ID: Two screenshots from the 4th ending of the 2011 anime. In the first, Gon and Killua stand back to back as meteors fall around them. In the second, they stand facing away from the audience towards a body of water under a night sky filled with stars - Gon throws a stone, which flashes in the air like a shooting star. End ID.]
And of course, here's the shooting star again in the 2011 anime's Nagareboshi Kirari ending, as well as it being the subject of the song itself and rather explicitly referencing that wish to go on a journey together, to stay together, because... Madhouse hates us. I guess. :'(
What started off as a simple wish for a friend deepened into a wish to always stay by Gon's side. This is largely good at first! Killua is able to explore and experience genuine friendship, to get a taste for freedom, and use the power of his fervent wish to protect his dear friend in order to rid himself of Illumi's needle. However, the more Killua wants, the more he traps these wishes in monologues within his own head and does not voice them aloud. Part of it is that he already feels he's been given much more than he deserves - seeing himself as a creature of darkness and Gon as light - but a greater part of the issue here is not that Killua is afraid to wish for things, but that he is afraid wishing without "compensation" will inevitably lead to horrible repercussions - namely, losing who he loves.
In order to feel worthy of staying with Gon, of earning his friendship, Killua works hard to help Gon achieve his goals, taking on the role of wish grantor, growing to do practically anything needed to support him for seemingly nothing in return - but that's not 100% true. Killua wants at least some appreciation, whether he admits it or not - it's a security thing, and it also clearly makes him happy, even if he's not great at accepting it. He insists in Chimera Ant arc that friends don't need to thank friends, but this declaration always read as very sudden to me or like a rationalization, and it's relevant to remember that this is at the peak of Gon isolating himself and self-destructing before his eyes, and Killua's own insecurity regarding his importance to him.
Killua might not mind doing things without thanks, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear that Gon appreciates him. He clearly does appreciate verbal confirmation of their bond! We know this.
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[ID: Two screenshots from the 2011 anime. The first is from episode 61. Killua smiles down at the ground with his hands in his pockets, the colours having gone soft and bright. The second is from episode 70 during the dodgeball match. Gon smiles determinedly in the foreground as Killua looks shocked next to him. End ID.]
Keeping all this in mind, Killua's story, or at least this part of it, couldn't have concluded in a better way than his rescue of Alluka, the wish grantor.
Now, I could probably write an entire other analysis on Alluka and Nanika alone, but for the sake of not making this any longer than I already have, I'm going to go through only a few points. Alluka is incomprehensible to her family because they make no attempt to understand her, with the exception of Killua. The only thing they do seem to understand, when explained to them, is the demands made after Nanika grants a wish - this, of course, fits neatly into their own predetermined views on "earning" and "punishment". However, beyond this, they make no attempt to understand her, and since her power is deemed dangerous and uncontrollable, she is locked away.
They are worried, first and foremost, that Alluka will bring harm to the family, and there's two ways in which this could be true:
As a function of failing to fulfill her requests, of course
Because she, just by existing, threatens the family's status quo
I stated at the beginning that Killua's desires do not align with those of the family business, and he's always apparently been more open to understanding others - he asks Alluka and Nanika questions to understand them, and treats them with respect, while his family are more so focused on subjugating anything that might be a threat. This is what Illumi tried to drill into Killua after all; never fight a superior opponent - everything is about assessments of relative strength, which leaves no room for open-mindedness or getting to know people.
Faced with a daughter who is clearly incomprehensibly powerful, and a son, the would-be inheritor of the family trade, who is showing a disturbing amount of willingness to befriend instead of retreat from her, the family made the decision to excise Alluka not just from where she could "harm" the family power-wise, but also likely to secure their control over Killua, who they then set about practically programming to not have any more wishes for himself, or at least to not be able to vocalize them without fear of loss or retribution.
The family's nickname for Killua is "Kil" or "Killu", which is deeply fascinating to me as a reader - nicknames are expressions of endearment, typically, and I actually don't doubt that here. Killua's family does love him, but their love comes with conditions. He must be molded into the perfect son, and every part of him that doesn't fit must be excised.
So: Killua's memories of Alluka are suppressed with the needle, and she is further cut from his life by dropping the "a" from his name (the Zoldyck children are named like a game of shiratori - Illumi -> Milluki -> Killua -> Alluka -> Kalluto). The nickname is also like a command or order "to kill", which is of course what they want him to do.
Saving Gon through saving Alluka and Nanika forces Killua to have to face down the last and hardest of Illumi's manipulations to shake, and that's the notion that a wish, that kindness and friendship and love, cannot be unconditional without severe repercussions - where the people he cares about get hurt because of him, something he cannot envision being forgiven for.
It's a little sad to me that after spending most of the series struggling against his family's teachings that they didn't lead to Killua betraying Gon at all, as he'd feared... but to him betraying Nanika, by sending her away.
Here is this little girl with a bloodstained past, incredibly powerful and dangerous and capable of amazing feats, treated as some evil thing by those who fear her. But she is kind at heart. Her true strength lies in healing, not killing. And she only takes commands from Killua.
Illumi thinks this is because Killua is the only one with control over her. Killua believes this is because she wants praise. They're both partially correct, but this is not the full reason Nanika does what Killua asks of her.
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[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146 of the 2011 anime. In the first, Nanika smiles and says "I love Killua." In the second, Killua looks at her, stricken. End ID.]
Nanika loves him. Everyone has been trying to figure out all these complicated rules and conditions on her wish granting and why Killua is the one exception, but the answer is exceedingly simple. She loves him, and wants to do nice things for him so he can have his wishes granted. It's the only way she knows to get the love that she wants in turn.
Just like her brother, Nanika makes herself useful to earn love and appreciation from someone who accepted her when no one else did.
Even though he knows Nanika just wants to help, he still sees her presence as a danger to the person he sees as pure and innocent who must be protected. He sends her away because her "nature" is to be a threat to Alluka's safety, even if she doesn't intend to be. Killua's fear of Illumi and repercussions causes him to make a horrible mistake.
And Alluka tears into him for it.
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[ID: A set of panels from HxH chapter 336. A furious Alluka glares and asks Killua if he made Nanika cry. When Killua stutters, she demands he apologize to her. End ID.]
You tell him, girl.
Oh hey, this looks a little familiar, huh?
"Apologize to Killua!" says Gon to Illumi after Illumi sends Killua away.
Nanika should not be the one punished for the actions of those trying to control her. She certainly shouldn't be forced to leave those she loves, or have to earn love from them.
And neither should Killua.
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[ID: Three panels from HxH chapter 336. Alluka yells, tears in her eyes, "If you're going to protect me... you have to protect Nanika too!!" Killua looks shocked, then his eyes widen. End ID.]
It's interesting to me that this is the line that snaps Killua out of his fear enough for him to properly speak with Nanika and apologize. One party cannot receive all the protection, nor can the other only give and give limitlessly.
Killua makes it clear to Nanika when speaking with her that he will protect her, and that she doesn't need to earn affection from people by granting their wishes. He promises they will both be there for each other - Killua will praise her whenever she wants, and not just when she does something for him, but he also doesn't refuse Nanika's desire to grant his wishes. It's mutual, not conditional.
And on the heels of this "betrayal", Killua asks for what he never thought he could receive - forgiveness. And even though Nanika is clearly still very upset...
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[ID: Two screenshots from episode 146. In the first, Nanika and Killua face each other, both of them teary. Nanika says "Kay." In the second, he has pulled her into a hug. Nanika is teary, her fingers gripping Killua's back tightly. End ID.]
...she doesn't even have to think about it.
I do think Killua still has a ways to go, but he is in a position right now to learn from his relationship with his sisters about balance - that love is not just selfless devotion, but also allowing those who love you to help you and make you happy too. I think that's what unconditional love is, in a way - supporting and working together with the people you love to make each other's wishes come true.
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