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grogusmum · 2 years

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Hechizado (part 1)

JAVI GUTIERREZ X OFC (It's Kelly ya'll, cuz birthday rights!)

WC: 2000

WARNINGS: LANGUAGE

N/A: For Kelly's birthday I gave her a coupon for a fic request and this is what she sent me-

Hazel my darling I have come up with the one-shot I would like to redeem with my birthday coupon (but I'm not trying to rush you, write at your pace 💙) "Javi G comes down to his olive trees, either to meet with the caretakers and check in or maybe he wants time away from the compound, and he saves a black cat that is stuck in one of the trees before bringing it back to his place and putting up lost cat posts online. But what he doesn't know is he saved a witch's (me) familiar so when she shows up to collect her wayward companion she gives him a luck amulet in return and unintentionally makes him fall for her."

Shockingly this has become a two-parter.

Happy Birthday, beloved Kelly Girl!!! @chaoticgeminate

Javi loves the smell of the olive trees, he loves the quiet. It's a perfect place to go to work out some bit of plot that's eluding him. He can talk out loud and no one hears or cares, so he can try out dialogue for flow and realism.

He was out walking one day, doing just that. He recognized it as the golden hour when many cinematographers and photographers get their best outdoor shots. He looked around imagining a scene, maybe the moment in an adventure where the shift of light tells everyone that he is about to rise up and answer the call or maybe it's a rom-com and it's the moment when the much ado is done and they are about to go from idiots to lovers... And then he hears it. Messing up the moment, as it wasn't a sweet little mew, not even an adorable creaky kitten sound. It was a yowl.

Javi looked around, following the “alley cat in heat” sound, until it was above him. When he looked it was a large black cat with jewel-bright blue eyes, and a collar to match.

Well that helps, Javi thought seeing the collar.

Then it hissed at him.

That is less helpful, Javi thought with a sigh.

He pulled out his cell and tapped the call button for his arborist.

The arborist came with her ladder and a sack. Ready to climb up, she was stopped by Javi.

"I will do it."

"Well okay, jeffe!" She handed the sack over and wished him luck with a pat on the shoulder and a pitying look.

Javi climbed the ladder murmuring softly, hoping for a calming tone. The cat growled, ears plastered to its head.

"Come now, Belladona," He didn't know where the name came from it just came to him and seemed right considering the cat's ears perked suddenly.

The feline looked as surprised as Javi.

The intelligence in the animal's eyes caused Javi to make a huge misstep. He decided not to use the sack. He picked up the cat, murmuring to it calmly. He took a closer look at the cat's collar, it was encrusted with deep blue stones, not crystalline like sapphires, but an opaque stone with veins of white and yellow and flecks of black. While carrying the cat worked out at first, halfway down the ladder the cat panicked and climbed Javi like the tree it was just liberated from

Javis's yell caused every bird in the grove to take wing in their own panic.

Covered in bandages, Javi uploaded a cell phone photo of Belladona and typed up a found cat message. He posted it on various community apps. Looking across the living room to the softest chair, the cat sat looking as innocent as can be. Unnaturally innocent. Not doing the aloof 'what did I do' cat face, it was sitting like a loaf with its front feet close together, eyes big and wide, ears forward and somehow wide too... like somehow, it was doing it on purpose. Then it fluttered its eyelashes...

No, Javi thought, shaking his head, it blinked three times in quick succession. And that is not the same thing at all.

He closed his laptop with a snap and looked at the cat.

"Hungry?"

Kelly walked up the road of the little house she was staying in, calling her cat’s name while rattling a canaster of cat treats.

It was a sweet whitewashed stucco house with blue shutters. Inside, it was all glazed terracotta tile and exposed beams. It was a house swap affair because she could never have afforded it. But opportunity fell into her lap, apparently, there was a Mallorcan gentleman who has been itching to play “cowboy in America”, she tried to explain that Deleware was not really the place for cowboys per say…but he saw the photo of her little homestead and no amount of explaining would deter him… so here she was. Of course, she had to pack away all evidence that he was staying at a witch's mini farm. He was very excited to learn from Kelly's neighbor Melinda, who she was paying to make sure the chickens, goats, and horses didn’t die she while away, teach her guest all the ins and outs of taking care of a farm, horseback riding, and real country line dancing. (“Luckily country music is pretty popular ‘round here. Don’t you worry, he’ll get to ride and line dance, and no one will look twice at his cowboy boots,” Melinda had assured her. Kelly, in turn, told her she owed Melinda big time, and she agreed.)

But no sooner than Kelly unpacked, her familiar took off to parts unknown. Truly unknown since she had hardly seen much more than the house and the route to it, before that menace took off.

Kelly rattled the treat container for looks mostly, as she called his name. (and cursed it - not officially) She stopped neighbors as they passed and was just starting to get really anxious when one of the neighbors, Marco, who she had spoken to a few homes back jogged over.

“Señora!”

Kelly turned and he held up his phone.

“I took a look on our neighborhood app, to see if anyone had found your gato, uh cat.”

“Thank you- um gracias- so much…” she rolled her eyes at herself, "sorry. Muchas gracias”

“Not to worry,” he said,” you lost a Black cat, yes?”

“Yes, he’s on there?”

“Looks like it, take a look.”

Marco handed her his phone, and there he was, the shithead.

All this time Kelly had held her necklace with a large lapis lazuli amulet, worrying it in her hand. Her familiar's collar carried the same stone. The witch had hoped this added connection would draw the two together, or at the very least bring good luck.

Of course, she supposed it had, between the person who found him and this kind neighbor, she was very lucky. Kelly thanked Marco ten times over as he gave her all the details and followed his advice to download the app, they also exchanged numbers. Now she just needed to call this Javi guy and see about retrieving the cat.

She messaged Javi, and sent a photo of the pair of them so he knew she was legit, he sent a little video of the cat in question eating from a bowl.

KELLY: That is definitely my shithead cat. I hope he wasn’t too much trouble

JAVI: Well, we had a little trouble coming down from a tree, but since then no trouble at all. We will be here whenever you can come by

Kelly: I will be coming over directly, thank you SO MUCH. See you soon

Kelly popped up the map app and put in the address, it was just a short walk really. So she let the GPS lead the way to… a huge compound of an estate.

At the gate, she explained why she was there, and after a phone call up to the main house Kelly was allowed in.

Javi met her on the walk up, and immediately Kelly was mortified by the sight of his bandages. Nor was she ready for his warm brown eyes, his honeyed curls, the broadness of his chest. Unconsciously, she worried the stone of the amulet, thinking about how sweet his smile was as he greeted her. When they reached each other he leaned down and she got her first kiss on each cheek greeting. Kelly knew it was customary, but she couldn’t help warming at the soft press of his pillowed lips. She gave her head a little shake.

Javi chatted and asked questions about her visit to Mallorca as they strolled the length of the beautifully tiled loggia.

“I am so so sorry about all of this,” Kelly indicted his bandaged cheek, and arms.

Javi waved away the apology.

“Just in here, he has been very comfortable and apart from the unfortunate decent on the ladder- which was my fault entirely- he seems surprisingly at ease. I beg your pardon but I have been calling him Belladonna. I don’t really know why- it came to me and stuck. Do you know what I mean?” Javi explained as he opened the beautiful walnut doors.

“Belladonna?” Kelly asked sounding more incredulous than she meant to be.

“I’m sorry.”

“No no, Javi,” she put a hand on his arm, and then pulled it away, with a muttered apology.

“Please do not apologize,” he looked into her blue-gray eyes. Kelly's thumb continued to massage the stone in her hand.

“I’m not offended or anything! Oh no, on the contrary, I am just- his name is Nightshade!”

“I don’t under-”

“Belladonna is in the nightshade family- it’s also known as Deadly Nightshade!”

“OH!” Javi smiled, and the sun must have come from behind the one cloud in the sky, then he laughed thinking of the attack on the ladder “spooky! And appropriate!”

Kelly laughed, and still, she gazed at this man, until a meow made her jump and broke the spell.

“Ah, here you are you, little shithead,” Kelly said with affection.

Nightshade purred, though when he opened his eyes his expression was nothing short of haughty.

“Well, sir, you need to come back with me- you can’t adopt yourself into this man’s home!” Kelly gave him a stern look that Javi did not see.

Nightshade hopped off of the tufted ottoman leisurely, and began wrapping himself around his witch's legs, and then figure-eighting around her and Javi. Kelly looked down at him in surprise and picked him up.

“He likes you,” she said shyly.

Javi petted the cat's head, smiling at Kelly.

“Thank you for everything, Javi”, she continued, and as she was about to turn to go, her familiar scrambled out of Kelly's arms, causing her to drop the amulet, she was so flustered the witch didn't realize it and it went unnoticed.

Kelly gave the cat a look that put a stop to his shenanigans and he came to her. Javi was none the wiser and invited her to share a meal.

“We really should be going, but thank you Javi. Perhaps another time,” she said hopefully.

“Another time, yes. For sure,” he smiled and Kelly wondered how on earth anyone was allowed to be so cute.

He walked, arms swinging casually back to the gates and reminded her of the raincheck on dinner, and Kelly waved with a bright smile. Then she turned she looked down at Nightshade-

“What were you thinking?”

I was thinking I wanted to climb an olive tree and I got stuck. Down is much harder than up!

“You know what I mean,” Kelly shook her head. “No matchmaking, Yente!”

Nightshade gave a look with all the innocence of a newborn kitten.

I don't know what you mean

Javi made his way back up the drive and reentered the room where he had kept Nightshade, thinking about the events of the day. He couldn't help being disappointed by not having the lovely woman join him for dinner, though he could imagine it had been a long and stressful day for her. He would not take it personally. Suddenly he noticed something just peeking out from under the ottoman. He picked up a beautiful blue oval stone on its long silver chain.

It was warm and inviting in his hand. Javi had not seen Kelly with a necklace… so he put it on for safe keeping, it tucked nicely inside his shirt and pressed comfortingly in the hollow of his chest. As his thoughts lingered on the lovely blonde, suddenly he blushed, and looked wistfully at the door, as if willing her to walk back though it.

Part 2

thank you for reading! 💚

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#javi gutiérrez #javi g x ofc

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tsuki-sennin · 3 years

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Mina-san, bonne lecture~! (Tsuki recaps his feelings about Kamen Rider Saber, a personal essay.)

So, Saber... what a wild ride it's been, huh? Just a quick heads up, this is very long and rambling, and also contains spoilers for everything in Saber. It's fine if you don't wanna read all this, but I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.

TL:DR, Kamen Rider Saber's an undercooked hot mess I absolutely adore, warts and all.

Speaking as objectively as possible, it's a 6/10. Probably closer to a 5 than a 7... it's not great: All the different plot elements are cluttered and weirdly paced; character focus is disjointed and clearly biased toward certain characters, leaving great ones like Kento and Ogami, interesting ones like Kamijo and Hayato, and underdeveloped ones like Sophia and especially the Shindais in the dust; not to mention its balance of comedy and drama is off, and while both are very effective, there's a lot of mood whiplash that can take you out of the story. I also feel like a lot of the easily avoidable character conflict could've been easily resolved, even in universe, by simple conversations. Be careful Fukuda, I think Inoue might sue you if he finds out you've been biting his style and doing it worse.

Rider shows have a very frustrating tendency to drop cool form ideas and not do anything with them, and I don't think it's ever been more the case than with Saber. There's a similar argument to be made with the majority of Heisei Phase 2 after Gaim, but wow. The suits are expensive to make without just straight up recycling everything, I get that, but man, I really wanted to see more Wonder Rider forms. How come Touma got all the fun, eh? Of note are the Blades King of Arthur forms (which look amazing by the way), Espada's Jaaku Dragon forms (one of which I even drew last night), even the non-elemental random Wonder Ride Books all have awesome design elements that go tragically unused. Even if the other Swordsmen just kinda have the ones they do get to use slapped onto them, that's at least something. Touma also just straight up only uses Diago Speedy twice and never again. You have cool props guys, don't waste them like that!

Speaking of waste, Espada, goddamn. Since most of the Wonder Ride Books are Story Type and he needs one very specific Story Book to transform, he doesn't get much of... anything, really! No Wonder Rider forms like Blades, Lamp Do Cerberus being exclusive to Ganbarizing, only getting to use the Ride Gatriker like once, he even spends the second and third arcs as a completely different Rider, then once he comes back he doesn't get a King of Arthur-granted upgrade or even a Necrom Espada form. ...at least, not yet anyway. I'm holding out hope for Espada x Necrom and the eventual Saber V-Cinemas. Extra Rider stans, we will be well respected someday.

The Unreal Engine CGI used for fights in early Chapters was pretty good but wow it feels disconnected and they really drop it quick. I feel like if the animators had more freedom to use as many forms as they want, we'd have gotten a lot more mileage out of the books beyond... decoration basically. I actually really liked the CGI sequences, they felt creative and were fun to follow along with.

The soundtrack is pretty great on its own and conveys what it needs to, but they seriously overplay the orchestral themes. It honestly feels kind of... stock at times. I think my favorite parts of the score are when it winds down, since it feels a lot more natural and lets the cinematographers and actors speak for themselves.

As awesome as I think Falchion's design and the Mumeiken Kyomu are, The Phoenix Swordsman and the Book of Ruin comes up short as its own standalone thing. You'd think 30 or so minutes of non-stop action would be awesome, and it almost is? It's as good as a typical episode of the series with a higher action budget, but it kinda drags on a bit too long; and although I think Emotional Dragon looks cool, it feels a bit tacked on. Coming off of the incredible Zero-One REAL×TIME, it doesn't give you much room to breathe, which Rider films are typically great at handling. I also thought the resolution for the kid's subplot was kinda forced. He does an okay job at acting considering his age and doesn't overstay his welcome, but I really don't see how 20 minutes of violence and action is enough to convince him to be brave enough to go play with the other kids. 5/10, it's closer to a 4 than a 6 and I think that maybe Zero-One should've stood on its own if they really had to push back Kiramager Bee-Bop Dream because of the pandemic.

Alright, with all that said... As imperfect and undercooked Saber was, like Ghost I can consider it a personal favorite, 10/10. Call it a guilty pleasure if you want, but holy hell it's just the show I needed. Takuro Fukuda has a talent for creating fun, wonderful characters and utterly fascinating worldbuilding and concepts. It's a shame he doesn't utilize them fully, but hey!

The action and fight choreography are pretty top notch as usual. Lots of beautiful shot composition and set pieces, and plenty of great angles to help keep up with the extra busy action. I love watching the suit actors perform and they deserve all the respect in the world for their hard work in those hot, sweaty, and heavy costumes. Their visual design is also top notch, with lots of unique and fascinating forms and cool weapons I desperately want to play with despite being broke, all with spectacular finishers and hype jingles with the voice of Akio motherfucking Ohtsuka calling them out. A real feast for the eyes. Not a single bad suit among them, yeah I said it, fight me.

The crossover specials are soooo good too.

-I went over my feelings on the Zenkaiger crossover episodes in a separate post (good luck finding that btw), but to sum it up, they were great character moments for Zox and the Shindai siblings with lots of great screwball comedy and some good old fashioned meta humor.

-The Ghost crossovers are great little side stories all about how Daitenku Temple somehow had the Ghost Ijunroku Wonder Ride Book? I genuinely have no idea why it was there, or how Makoto had the Specter Gekikou Senki, and as far as I remember neither of their origins are explained. Did Luna or Tassel hand them off to them and told them to wait for a sword guy? And why do these generic French Revolution Gamma villains working for Danton get their asses handed to them so easily by Kanon, who literally just became a Rider? I thought that Makoto deciding to adopt all the Kanon clones into his family was both hilarious and adorable though; considering all the crap they went through, I think it was a good ending to this plot. Gimme Espada x Necrom already Toei/Bandai/Fukuda/whoever I need to yell at, give Kento things to do, I beg you.

-I haven't actually seen Super Hero Senki since it's not available for subbing yet, but apparently there's a Journey to the West plot starring the Taros and Ohma Zi-O and I want to see that so badly.

Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra? Yoohei Kawakami? A match made in heaven, that's what they are. All of their themes are absolute bangers. All of them. Almighty, Kamen Rider Saber, Sparks, Taju Rokou, all excellent and empowering pieces. Rewrite the Story, Will Save Us, and The Story Never Ends are all amazing inserts done by the cast, and it makes me wish we had even more of them to help break up the monotony of the score.

The characters are what easily make this show such a great watch though. For the most part, they have great personalities and chemistry, consistently fun and interesting scenes, well acted and... sometimes well-written development, and deeply investing personal stakes.

Narrating it all is the delightfully eccentric Tassel/Viktor, portrayed by Romanesque Ishitobi "TOBI" of the Paris-based Les Romanesques. I was utterly confused by his presence at first, wondering why there needed to be a narrator when the story would've been perfectly fine without it. He even got a special spot in the opening despite having no stake in the plot despite seeming to live in Wonderworld, who the hell is this guy? But then I thought "OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD". I thought it'd be some subversion of expectations, true form, "That Was His Mistake!" shit. Trust me, it made a lot more sense in my head. I'm very happy that they didn't do that, as I grew to love having male Yuuka Kazami as my narrator, and when he was shown to be actually important by being friends with Yuri my mind was blown. And doubly so when I realized just how deeply necessary to the plot he really is.

Rintaro/Blades is up there as one of my all time favorite secondary Riders, since his curiosity is always consistently funny and adorable, his forms are all gorgeous and impressively designed, his relationships with Mei and Touma are absolutely sweet and compelling to see unfold, and his arcs about becoming willing to call out those he views as family and coming to terms with his feelings of inadequacy and both moving past and using them to strengthen himself are always great lessons to pass on to kids. ...even if they took like 10 goddamn episodes to be conveyed in what could've been 5, but hey, Takaya Yamaguchi does a stand-up job all throughout. Rider veteran Eitoku's refined, almost logical movements with the Suiseiken Nagare absolutely beautiful to see in action, and his final form having the same white and blue color scheme as Zooous's base form is an amazing touch I don't see appreciated enough.

Mei Sudo's also absolutely wonderful, serving as the perfect emotional core of the story, responsible for most of the funniest lines, sweetest character moments, and some of the most deceptively compelling drama. Asuka Kawazu brings the perfect energy for such a dynamic and well rounded character, and absolutely nails her scenes of quiet turmoil. As much as I would've loved her to become a Rider, I don't think she really needed to. She's already done so much to help, and as cool as it would've been to see her pick up a sword and fight alongside them as Espada, Calibur, or Falchion she's already endeared herself to me as one of my favorite supporting characters in the whole franchise.

I can't get enough of my homeboy Kento Fukamiya/Espada. Like Rintaro and everyone else for that matter, he also suffers from Saber's pacing issues; and like his predecessor Valkyrie from Zero-One, he doesn't get a proper upgrade aside from his Wonder Combo, instead becoming an anti-villain using a completely different powerset and shifting the Raimeiken Ikazuchi out of focus for the Ankokuken Kurayami, and I feel there's a serious missed opportunity to see him use Jaaku Dragon with Alangina. However, Ryo Aoki's performance is probably among the most easily praiseworthy in the whole cast, managing to convey both Kento's kind and knightly stoicism as Espada and his emotionally unstable despair as Calibur perfectly, in conjunction with Yuji Nakata's experienced and expressive stuntwork.

Ren Akamichi/Kenzan's a dark horse favorite for sure. I remember back when Saber was first picking up, people hated this breezy mad lad for being such a simple character at first. Overly concerned with strength? Black and white world view? Annoyingly energetic? Agh, real-feeling character flaws, I hate them, get him away from me! But then y'all came crawling back. Eiji Togashi's apparently a bit of a rookie actor, and it really shows with some stilted delivery and the way he sometimes bobs his head when giving his lines, but man he improves dramatically as the series goes on. His inexperience ironically ends up really selling his character development, and his unexpectedly beautiful relationship with Desast is special evidence of that. The Fuusouken Hayate's three modes and Satoshi Fujita putting them to excellent use through his stellar acrobatic movements are also really cool.

Why did Luna have to be a child for so long? Does Wonderworld not age whoever inherits its power? Well since Luna randomly becomes an adult in Super Hero Senki and some of the final episodes, I guess so? Miku Okamoto does a fine job for a kid actor, but she's basically done all the heavy lifting for the whole series and doesn't give Mayuu Yokota enough time to get a feel for her character as an adult. How did she choose Touma to inherit the power anyway? Does she just subconsciously decide to trust him with it upon seeing how kind and passionate about storytelling he is? Well if that's the case, why didn't Kento get at least some of that power too? He's just as important to the merchan- I mean Luna-chan, isn't he? Why did Tassel pick her over someone who isn't a literal child who'd be understandably terrified about basically becoming an embodiment of storytelling?

Sophia also kinda suffers from the same problems. Rina Chinen's voice is very pleasant to listen to, but she doesn't really do much beyond serving as a source of exposition and support. I think her dynamic with Mei's adorable, and given her kindness I can certainly understand the respect Northern Base has for her, but she doesn't really contribute a whole lot. If she could use the Kurayami and become Calibur all this time, then why didn't she take it from Kento and Yuri and do so earlier when Kento decided to go back to being Espada? I know she's not much of a fighter and as the closet thing the Sword of Logos has to a leader after Isaac's death I'd understand not wanting to put her at risk, but considering Storious is destroying the world, and she's very evidently kicking a lot of ass in the first part of the final battle even in the basic Jaaku Dragon form, I think it would've helped a lot, just sayin'. Tassel at least has the excuse of being unable to interact with the real world, but Sophia obviously didn't just be put in charge of Northern Base just because she's a pawn in Isaac's plans right?

Ryou Ogami/Buster is also a victim of the disjointed character focus. I have no problem believing he's an excellent father and fighter thanks to Yuki Ikushima and Jiro Okamoto, respectively, but he feels a bit flat and simple in comparison. His rivalry with Desast is randomly dropped, his wife doesn't even show up until the final episodes, he's kinda sidelined in terms of action a whole lot. I imagine that must've sucked for the Rider Dads out there. He does get to star in his own manga, and that was pretty good, so I guess I can't be too mad.

Tetsuo Daishinji/Slash fares better though. Hiroaki Oka, being a Kamen Rider fanboy himself, manages to make him among the most relatable characters in the series. Not only are his hyperfixation on swordsmithing and anxiety played surprisingly believably, Hirotsugu Mori letting him cut loose is extremely cathartic and hilarious, and you really feel for him when the Onjuuken Suzune becomes the first victim of Calibur!Kento's sword sealing.

Yuri/Saikou's another dark horse favorite, for me at least. "Oh great, Avalon guy's got even more merchandise to sell, I wonder what his Sword of Light is- it's himself. Well... that's different." I admit, I didn't like him at first. He felt like he was there to fill out character dynamics in the absence of both Rintaro and Kento, I thought his gimmick was too silly even if his design and jingles were bangers, I didn't particularly care for his power set. But then XSwordman came around I totally got it. He's an endearing, hard-working man trying his best to catch up on all the cool shit he missed, unafraid of experimentation, ready to throw down at a moment's notice, serving as a wonderful bit of consistent support for our heroes, a truly knightly individual, an absolute Chad. and goddamn does he make me worry. Tomohiro Ichikawa, I salute you good sir.

Even if they fall short compared to the rest of the cast, the Shindai siblings are at least cool enough to not wanna write out entirely. They kinda devolve into comic relief after they become allies, something that villainous Riders from Chase onwards are very prone to doing, and it's especially awkward in their case because I think that they kinda get off scot-free for obeying the obviously sinister and crazy Isaac for so long, as well as driving a wedge between a lot of people and threatening children in Reika's case. I think their sibling dynamic is nice though, even if Fukuda recycled it from Makoto and Kanon and has some... questionable possessive undertones as a result. It's cool how they're basically foils to Touma and Rintaro though. The dispassionate and methodical Reika/Sabela is beautifully played by Angela Mei and her moments of emotional depth are fascinating to watch. Her Rider form is a thing of beauty, and its use of literal the Eneiken Noroshi's smokescreens and Yuki Miyazawa's precise and deadly stinging strikes are a joy to watch. And while Ken Shonozaki's not given the best direction as the undercooked plate of 7-Eleven fried fish that is Ryoga/Durendal, he manages to sell him as an experienced and hardened warrior with an awkward side that's especially evident in the Zenkaiger specials. His goddamn RWBY weapon that is the Jikokuken Kaiji is absolutely sick, I'm a sucker for transforming weapons and its combination of time and water powers is really cool, especially with Yasuhiko Amai's deliberate and forceful acting in the suit.

Daichi Kamijo/the Second Calibur, for as brief as his story was, was a pretty cool starter villain. Hiroyuki Hirayama brings this poor bastard to life in a genuinely touching way. I love how as Calibur he goes full force on his creative use of Wonder Ride Books for attacks, and his debut as Jaou Dragon got my blood pumping. His end is also deeply tragic, and I really felt for him when he realized just how badly he fucked up. Hayato Fukamiya also does wonders for the backstory, and while he also doesn't get much to work with, Mitsuru Karahashi makes his regrets and love for Kento feel genuine.

Legeiel and Zooous are both very intimidating and entertaining villains. On top of being just the right balance of goofy and threatening, Kairu Takano and Koji Saikawa's stage presences are both very strong, and their mixture of camaraderie and in-fighting is extremely believable. Zooous's rivalry with Rintaro feels incredible to see through to the end, and although Legeiel doesn't get quite the same treatment, Elemental Dragon had such a cool debut that it more than makes up for it. Their final fights are also absolute spectacles. I don't think their sympathetic angle works even close to as well as it does with MetsubouJinrai or even the Gamma, but I get it, power corrupts, and you probably feel a lot of sadness and regret for things you've done when you die unless you're a right bastard.

Isaac/Master Logos/Solomon is kinda generic. As wonderful as Keisuke Soma is, he doesn't get much dimension to work with. The result of that is while he nails being as smug and punchable as possible, he feels almost... comically generic. Genta Umemori from Shinkenger was full of personality! He was also basically some guy, but he was fun, he felt connected to the rest of the cast! Meanwhile the only real time we get to see Isaac's depth is when we see him crying over his failures. I almost appreciate him being unapologetically evil though, since I've seen way too many shows where redeemed villains get off scot free for way worse things, and some where they outright demand you to sympathize with them despite them doing nothing to warrant it.

Bahato/Falchion surprises me by not just being a movie villain whose actions affect the main plot, but also being a movie villain who actually gets to appear in series as a recurring threat! ...and it's not a particularly great showing on his part, sadly. Masashi Taniguchi does a wonderful job with what he's given, but his character feels like a retread of Eternal without any of what made Katsumi Daido a compelling and frightening villain. I'd like to believe Yuri when he says that he used to be a good person and a hero to the people, but I can only hear so many anime villain monologues about the pointlessness of life and the beauty of destruction before I can never take them seriously again. ...I think that's his biggest problem, actually. I thought he was an overall uninteresting and generic villain in the movie, and the cartoon nihilist he's shown to be in series is only a small step up. He still feels like filler. If only there were a far better written and much cooler villain who takes on the Mumeiken Kyomu after his de--

Desast is probably one of the finest anti-villains I've ever seen in recent years. On top of an absolutely badass character design and the excellent combination of Kazuya Okada/Danki Sakae's suit work and Koki Uchiyama's stellar voice acting, his story being so thoroughly intertwined with Ren's makes their shared journey and bromance a borderline Shakespearean tragedy. His struggle for identity despite Storious treating him as nothing more than a failed experiment and the Sword of Logos treating him as a mere monster really gripped me, and the way he uses what little time he has left to encourage Ren into blossoming on his own is absolutely beautiful. I think his enmity with Ogami is criminally underexplored in series, considering he killed several of the previous Riders and how Ogami's in desperate need of screentime.

Then there's our main villain, Kamen Rider Storious. Robin Furuya brings an incredible amount of charisma to this character, expertly portrayed as both a sinister, manipulative bastard , and as a lonely, tragic figure that arguably makes him feel even more villainous. Speaking as a struggling writer myself, it's easy to feel stuck in the idea of "fuck it, who cares, maybe everything is predestined", but I can't imagine what it's like to know that as the truth and carry it with you for all that time. All of your grand ideas have roots from your experiences, and you're not the only one who even could have those experiences. It's easy to just fall into despair and give up trying, but would that make you happy? Sure, Storious is sadistic, he may be fulfilling his goals, he may be ungodly powerful... but it's not enough for him, is it? All of his friends are gone, one of them even at his own hand, he probably doesn't have any idea what to do after he destroys all the world's stories, Touma even reached his full power before he did, and his downfall is so predictable that even a blind person could see it. He even seems to welcome it, what's up with that? But then I realized... OH MY GOD, HE'S THE MAIN VILLAIN USING TOUMA AS THE HERO IN HIS OWN TWISTED STORY, THE BASTARD. He's so far gone, he's so desperate to stick it to the Almighty Book, he's willing to twist the archetype of the Hero's Journey so hard, it snaps in two. What I think is interesting is that he's ironically trying to chase the trend of "edgy superhero story" that became super popular in the 21st century. The Boys, Brightburn, Kamen Rider Amazons, The Sentry, No More Heroes, Magical Girl Site, even mainstream comics from DC and Marvel... Surely Storious must've seen the cruelty and tragedy these stories are filled with, but he chooses to go through with trying to force the world into this direction anyway. Did they, along with seeing the ever-popular tragedies of legendary playwrights and bleak satire of the twentieth century fuel his despair?

And yet... there's one who stands in determination against his ideals.

Our hero, Touma Kamiyama, the titular Kamen Rider portrayed by Syuichiro Naito and Kousuke Asai, he speaks to me on a personal level. There're plenty of jokes to be made about his procrastination in early chapters, his godless fashion sense, and him doing the funny run up the slope, that's all fine and dandy, but I rarely feel so connected to a character the way I did Touma. The struggle to create, find companionship, live your life, reach out to others... these're things a lot of people struggle with, and of course you see them depicted a lot in media about creators, but Saber gets to the root of what the greatest thing about storytelling really is. Giving people hope, while using the pain of the past as fuel for the future. Sure, Storious may be right about how every story has been done as far back as human civilization gets, he may even be right about how any spin or creativity humanity has is outright predestined. It should be pointless to even try, right? That's where Touma Kamiyama disagrees. He didn't spend all that time fighting and creating just to give up at the idea of predestination. His novel writing-fueled creativity in his early training, his devotion to his friends that let him surpass Kamijo as Dragonic Knight, his compassion for the Primitive Dragon that let him combine their powers to destroy Legeiel as Elemental Dragon, his resolve that let Xross Saber dethrone Solomon, and his passion for the craft of storytelling that let our heroes channel their wishes into Wonder Almighty... all stemming from the belief imparted onto him by his predecessor that "Hope lies beyond your resolution." And that you decide how your story ends. He may not be the greatest Rider to some, he may be as lame as others think he is, he may not even be my favorite, but I have no issue calling Touma Kamiyama... Kamen Rider Saber, one of the all time greatest carriers of the Kamen Rider name.

The final chapter's definitely not as great as some other Rider finales, but goddamn. Primitive Dragon consciously choosing to save Touma is so sweet and such a great emotional payoff, I loved jamming out to the opening theme while our boys lay the smackdown on Storious. Wonder Almighty's a fitting final bit to close the main series out with, if not exactly a great one. I think the cover is great, and the book's body is a lovely shade of candy apple red, but I really don't like how its pages are just the covers of the other books copy-pasted onto onto the pages, that feels lazy. Maybe if it were a panorama of all the books' characters, I'd like it a lot more as a symbol of how unified the Swordsmen are, but eh, what can you do? On a related note, does this mean all the "last episode extra final forms" of the Reiwa Era are gonna be named after their series's opening? That's a neat idea.

I felt a lot of feelings seeing all those video messages of Rider fans all across Japan talking about their favorite stories, and how their passion and fond memories help reshape the world. Mei's monologue at the ceremony about is also really touching and- IS THAT A HUMAGEAR!? :O

Y-yeah dude, it is! Wow, where have you guys been for the past 48 episodes?! Are you guys doing okay? How come you're like... the only one here? Is the technology of Hiden Intelligence only really that prevalent in that very specific metropolitan part of Japan and they're just not coming around much over here? Is it like Dragon Ball where anthropomorphic animals are just vibin' with humans while the heroes are off kicking ass? Apparently he's played by Hasegawa Keiichi, who wrote this episode and had the award ceremony named after him. ...is Hasegawa Keiichi a HumaGear in this universe then? Did he set up this award ceremony in Touma's honor? If so, why is it named after him? Did reading one of Touma's books lead to his Singularity? I know this is just a cameo, but... god, I have so many questions that probably will never be satisfactorily answered.

Overall, if I had to compare Saber to anything, it'd probably be Sam Reimi's Spider-Man trilogy. It's awkward, stupid, overwrought, undercooked, illogically written, scattershot, cheesy as fuck, and has a tendency to squander its otherwise fine execution; but the sheer passion for storytelling, sense of spectacle, deeply fascinating characters, and belief in the ideals set forth by the cast, crew, and fans are absolutely admirable. Improvements would certainly make it an overall better experience, to be sure, but there's something deeply captivating about how wonky this series is. Seeing everybody get their happy ending after all they've been through felt extremely gratifying though, and I may have to wait another for the epilogue to and then wait for Revice, but... man. I'm hella proud of our awkwardly-emoting, fashion disaster novelist and all of his heavily flawed friends for carrying the Kamen Rider name on to the future. Here's hoping Revice will keep it going.

Alright, that's everything I wanted to talk about. Sorry this was so long and ramble-y, I had a lot to say. I'll probably be liveblogging Revice as episodes of that come out, so... look forward to that, I guess. See ya.

#kamen rider saber #long post #tsuki talks #personal #kamen rider #whew #ok bye have a nice day

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porphyrophiliac · 7 years

Note

i dare u to answer every single question

o h(well here we go)

1.Who was the last person you held hands with?my ex

2. Are you outgoing or shy?a bit of both?? like, it completely depends on the environment; i’ve been in the same music class for 2 years and i only spoke to the person who sat next to me for the entirety of that year for the first time today, but i was on a residential at the national film school with 64 other people and i sought out and had a full conversation with each and every one of them

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?my boyfriend!!

4. Are you easy to get along with?i hope so? i think people get along with me if they’re respectful, bc if they aren’t i don’t particularly try to get along with them

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?i feel like max would yeah fdsahjfbasd

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?who the fuck even knows, i just go with the current gfdbhjsgd

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?i think so c:

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?my boyfriend max fggfdgkfdhsngfndkghjs

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?uhhh, it depends on who with? and whether or not it’s personal experience, bc i can talk about it as a concept but my own experiences are reserved for people i’m in relationships with and extremely close friends

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?my boyfriend hgfhdg (look i am Not that sociable)

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?“i love you too, max!” (can u tell that i lov my bf)

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?What THe Fuck Is A Song Who Even Music What the F

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?yES

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?my bf is a miracle

15. What good thing happened this summer?i got into a relationship last summer! with my bf! who i love!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?no.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?i mean, like, probably

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?i do not

19. Do you like bubble baths?dude who doesn’t

20. Do you like your neighbors?what the fuck is a neighbour

21. What are you bad habits?existing

22. Where would you like to travel?canada, to see my bf dasfbjhskfdagsh

23. Do you have trust issues?yea

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?talking to my bf, or maybe sleeping

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?the part that’s, uh. the bit that’s like, covered in skin? all of it? yeah, all of it

26. What do you do when you wake up?think about my bf and then go back to sleep dfshjbak

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?i wouldn’t mind being a bit paler??

28. Who are you most comfortable around?my bf dfbhkjasfhas

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?nah, i don’t think so

30. Do you ever want to get married?i think so!

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?nah dfhbjsakf

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?what the fuck is a celebrity

33. Spell your name with your chin.swam

34. Do you play sports? What sports?WHAT THE FUCK IS A SPORT

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?dont do this to me

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?i have only told like, two people i ever liked that i did

37. What do you say during awkward silences?nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?uhh, he’s about 5′3″, shaped like a friend, has a cute canadian accent & short hair, a Real Soft Boy, likes cartoons and makes great art and is v kissable. not that u could ever find a guy that perfect in the real world oh wait i dID HE’S MY BOYFRIEND AND I LOVE HIM

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?if it sells fizzy drinks and chocolate, i’m satisfied

40. What do you want to do after high school?sleep

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?absolutely not. or, like, i think people deserve a second chance, but that doesn’t mean you personally have to give it to them. they can find it somewhere else

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?that im tired, usually

43. Do you smile at strangers?if they’re pretty sometimes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?trip to canada

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?my alarm

46. What are you paranoid about?everything

47. Have you ever been high?almost

48. Have you ever been drunk?yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?i don’t think so?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?mint green

51. Ever wished you were someone else?all the time

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?id like to have boobs

53. Favourite makeup brand?uhhhhhhhhhhh

54. Favourite store?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

55. Favourite blog?@maxjo

56. Favourite colour?pink!

57. Favourite food? pasta!

58. Last thing you ate?a croissant, its the only thing i ate today fdbhasjkfbdasfha

59. First thing you ate this morning?a croissant, its still the only thing i ate today

60. Ever won a competition? For what?being the Worst fshbkadnlsat i was one of 12 cinematographers under 19 from across the UK chosen for a specialist residential at the national film school, does that count??

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?nope

62. Been arrested? For what?nope

63. Ever been in love? yep!

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?nope

65. Are you hungry right now?always

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?my tumblr friends are my real friends and i love all of them

67. Facebook or Twitter?facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr?tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?nah

70. Names of your bestfriends? max (obvs), fearghal, sarah, takeshi, dovydas

71. Craving something? What?love and affection frm my bf dfabhsjk

72. What colour are your towels?purple!

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?four!

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?i have a teddy named max dfbhkajdnkf (hes a soft boi)

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?A Lot

75. Favourite animal?hedgehogs

76. What colour is your underwear?my pyjama bottoms are blue, i’m not wearing underwear currently bc of that

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?chocolate, no hesitation

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?either chocolate or mint chocolate :00

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?light grey! it has pokemon on it

80. What colour pants?blue

81. Favourite tv show?uhhhhhhhhhhh

82. Favourite movie?uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (im a film student i know too many)

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?haven’t seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?haven’t seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?haven’t seen it

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?bruce!

87. First person you talked to today?i have no idea

88. Last person you talked to today?my boyfriend fdsajbhkf

89. Name a person you hate?this one asshole from my school who i won’t name here

90. Name a person you love?max dfhaskjbfsfnasd

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?me

92. In a fight with someone?me

93. How many sweatpants do you have?none :00

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?at least 11

95. Last movie you watched?Moon

96. Favourite actress?i don’t rly have one fbfjhkgsd

97. Favourite actor?i don’t really have one gdfhdfkbjfssfdghkdjs

98. Do you tan a lot?a little

99. Have any pets?i have a cat :000

100. How are you feeling?tired gdhgdfk

101. Do you type fast?yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past?yea

103. Can you spell well?yeas

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?yea

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?no

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?maybe??

107. Have you ever been on a horse?no

108. What should you be doing?sleeping fgsdhbkjFSD

109. Is something irritating you right now?me

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?MAX

111. Do you have trust issues?see question 23

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?uhhhhh???? who knows, i cry a lot gfgfhkdjsnjglsdf

113. What was your childhood nickname?I Dont Wanna Get Into That

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?yea :00

115. Do you play the Wii?i used to??

116. Are you listening to music right now?nah

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?nah

118. Do you like Chinese food?not rly gfsdjkhfg

119. Favourite book?The Book of Lost Things, by john connolly

120. Are you afraid of the dark?yes fdashbkjfasdf

121. Are you mean?if people are mean to me, yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay?absolutely not

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?nope fbhasdjkfadsfas

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?yes, i’m certain that it happens all the time

125. Do you believe in true love?i think so c:

126. Are you currently bored?nope fdsjabhfkdsf

127. What makes you happy?my bf fhadskbjsad

128. Would you change your name?i already have once, but if i found something i liked more maybe??

129. What your zodiac sign?aries

130. Do you like subway?nah

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?reject them but stay friends

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?still my bf

133. Favourite lyrics right now?If there’s a line I’ll cross it,No lesson will I learn;Even if I’m standing on itNo bridge that I won’t burn

134. Can you count to one million?i didn’t get a D in maths for nothing

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?for 17 years i tried to convince people i was a guy

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?CLOSED, WHY THE FUCK WOUDL YOU HAVE THEAM OPNE JOH MYG OD

137. How tall are you?6′1″

138. Curly or Straight hair?curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?brunette

140. Summer or Winter?summer

141. Night or Day?night

142. Favourite month?july

143. Are you a vegetarian?nah

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?milk

145. Tea or Coffee?coffe dfhbksjafads

146. Was today a good day?i guess?

147. Mars or Snickers?mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?’coffe burns’

149. Do you believe in ghosts?who even knows

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line‘mattered. I had all these plans about getting in and reprogramming’

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back-and-totheleft · 5 years

Text

Perfection is the enemy of good

I can’t recall seeing any films before JFK that had that kind of visual design. Were there any visual templates at hand, or was it all an act of exploring new ground?

I’m sure there had been experimental films done, of that nature, but not like that. I think that came out of the story. The way the script was written was very fractured: point-of-view here, point-of-view there, and very Rashomon.

I didn’t feel you could make those cuts without changing the style of the film. Between [cinematographer] Robert Richardson and the production design, we also went with the idea of Super 8, Super 16, and 35 color in different scopes and aspect ratios. I think the film opened in 1:85 and went to 2:35, right?

I believe so. If JFK were shot today, it would probably be made digitally.

[Groans]

[Laughs] Does that idea put a bad taste in your mouth?

I have to go with the flow. I would rather work on film. On Savages, which was my last film, I very closely watched it on film and digital, and the film was better. I don’t care what James Cameron or anyone else says, because, to my eye, there’s something about film you can’t quite get on digital.

However, there are many advantages to digital, including projection. To be honest, the old projection was superb but rare, so you couldn’t get consistent projection. Release prints were sloppily handled and not as good as they should’ve been. The digital prints make sense. Also, because it’s a more cheap and economical way to show, it makes sense to digitally project. There’s less damage to the film, more consistency, and better lighting. [Laughs] Although, I have been in some digital theaters that drive me nuts, because they do a bad job sometimes. The old mutilation of film was pretty sad, especially the release print. They made green into greenish stock. There’s no question, in a pristine room, if you put them side-by-side, you have to go with film. That was a year ago [with Savages], so maybe things have changed.

What can film capture that digital can’t?

It’s something that appeals to my eye. There’s grit, a sense of skin, and resolution. The skin looks more lived-in. The richness of the colors are so much more noticeable. You can’t get the same quality on digital. They say you can enhance it, but it’s not the same. When you have a blue dress and you light it right, it’s really blue. Savages is a good example because it’s a very colorful film. If you see a film print, it’s really good. If you see it digitally, it’s good ‐ but it’s not the same. [...]

Plenty of people love U-Turn. Those are three of your films that didn’t grab an audience in the way Platoon did. When that happens, do you see that as a reflection of a film’s quality or that they’re meant to be found later?

That’s why I think Scorsese said ‐ and very rightly so ‐ to never give up on a movie. A movie could have more meaning 20 or 30 years later. I just loved all those movies. I killed myself making them. You know, I care. Sometimes the marketing hasn’t been as good as the movies. You can’t fight it or think about it too much, because you’ll go crazy if you do.

Savages, for example, was a movie they loved so much they brought it up the 4th of July weekend. That’s very sweet of them and they could make a bundle, but that’s not a 4th of July movie. Who knew Magic Mike and Ted would come out a week before? There was also Batman and Spider-Man, so it was hopeless because we were in the corridor with four huge hits. You don’t bring out a relatively complex picture on 4th of July weekend. That’s too whimsical of a weekend. Anyway, that broke my heart, because I thought it could make some money. [...]

How do you define success, then?

It’s a good question, because don’t you think I’ve had bad nights on Alexander, Heaven and Earth, and Nixon? As you said, Nixon didn’t make any money. Heaven and Earth and Alexander are my two biggest films that failed to make money. The other ones did okay. Actually, Alexander, despite the criticisms, has done great on DVD. With international, it’s my second-largest-grossing film after JFK. Alexander was still a bug in me, though.

I’m the kind of guy who wishes sometimes the curve of the ball went differently. I think we could’ve made some money on Any Given Sunday; we broke just enough but not enough. U-Turn was another disaster that couldn’t catch a commercial break. I didn’t have much luck with World Trade Center. Although we did make money, it wasn’t recognized by the Academy, which hurt because I killed myself making it. With the dust and the dark, it was a hard film to make. Then W. was also a disappointment, but we broke even. I liked W., but it was bad timing because Bush was very unpopular.

I think Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps has qualities that are overlooked. People on Wall Street see those qualities and talk about it. That’s the Wall Street I saw in 2010, and there’s a contrast there to the Wall Street of 1987. Yeah, it’s been a hard road since Natural Born Killers, and maybe because on that and JFK I crossed a line. I didn’t find a receptive climate since Nixon to anything.

Nixon is one of your films that people really get caught up in the politics of. Do you find that frustrating, when people don’t focus on the craftsmanship?

Yes, it’s frustrating. I think a lot of my movies have been judged more for content than the style, narrative flow, and smoothness of it. I think that’s a shame. I think I was eliminated from “the list” of filmmakers because I have things to say. I think it’s always nice to have a critic, like Roger Ebert, to come along and say, “Look, this is good filmmaking.” I work very hard at filmmaking. I spend hours writing, directing, and all that. It’s a craft that takes skill. It’s a new style now where people can throw anything up and make a movie, and it’s called a “movie.” It’s a different pastime. I’m out of it, to some degree. Untold History brought me out of it, because it doesn’t help you with developing films and working in that environment. I did a film, but I wasn’t developing new films. I find myself a little bit confused by the landscape. They make 16 movies a week, so I can’t follow it.

-Interview with Oliver Stone, FilmSchoolRejects, October 25 2013 [x]

#oliver stone #film vs. digital #digital film #filmmaking #jfk #savages #heaven and earth #Any Given Sunday #W.#Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

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selenaslittletalks · 7 years

Text

Representation

As of late, I’ve watched a lot of Hong Kong Cinema. Mostly all of Wong Kar Wai’s films because they are all masterpieces. There are a few more on my list but I’ve been unable to find links for. Let me tell you the story of how this sudden surge of interest began. In 2014, I took a film studies class over the summer at my local community college. The professor showed a corridor scene of a women and man walking up and down the stairs. I think it was to demonstrate a tracking shot. I never got the name of the movie down. I looked feverishly through my notes and never found the name. Then in May 2017, I stumbled upon a top 10 saddest movies compilation for watchmojo and I saw the scene. I learned that it was called In the Mood for Love, and that it was in Cantonese. I immediately searched a link to watch it and found the entire film on youtube. This would be the first Chinese movie that I watched out of my own interest. In the past, I watched a lot of Chinese action movies because that’s all my dad would ever buy on DVD. I loved the film. It’s currently in my top 3 favorite films of all time. It was beautifully shot, acted, scored, and written. It was a very bittersweet story that we typically don’t get in Hollywood. The next day, I tried to watch 2046 but I didn’t get the same vibe so I never finished it. I will someday though. Maybe this weekend even, now that I remember. One night, I don’t know why, but I just decide to binge a bunch of Wong Kar Wai movies. I watched Chungking Exprsess, Days of Being Wild, and Fallen Angels. I enjoyed all of them in their own ways. For Chungking, I really loved the first story. Cop 223 and Blondie. It was very relatable and I loved the ideas of the cans of pineapples and expiration dates. The second story was a bit borederline creepy. I mean the girl snuck into his house like everyday lol.. Days of Being Wild was really good. Leslie Cheung is an absolute gem and I’m so sad that mental illness got the best of him. Fallen Angels was also good. The ending made the entire movie for me. Then the next weekend, I watched Infernal Affairs. As a side note, I always thought it was Internal Affairs all this time and when I learned it was an F. My mind was blown! I really can’t read.. lol. This movie was amazing. And here is where some of my anger grew. So Infernal Affairs inspired the movie The Departed. The Departed won a lot of major awards at the Globes and Oscars, including the prized Best Picture. It infuriates me that a white-washed remake achieved all of this. I personally find the original better. But Hollywood would never allow it. The Departed had big names, Scorsese, DiCaprio, Damon, Nicholson, and Wahlberg. So you have this great story and now you pack it with A-listers and you got yourself a major motion picture. I did some research after this and in all of Oscar history, there has only been 1 Asian Actress nominated for Best Actress. One. None have ever won. Scrolling through the entire list of Asian Academy Award winners and nominees is very despairing. There is so little representation in Hollywood and western media in general. I am screaming why. Watching all those Wong Kar Wai films proved to me that Asians have the talent to do what Hollywood does. Strong directors, cinematographers, actors, writers, all of it. So why don’t we get our fair share in Hollywood? It makes me even more angry that this has never bothered me until recently. Maybe it’s with age and knowledge that I can finally realize what is right and wrong in the world. For a long time, I would never watch any foreign media. Whether that was films, or kdramas, I just didn’t because I hated subtitles and I’ve always viewed their form of art as inferior to Hollywood and western television. Maybe I’ve been desensitized to this problem because all I’ve ever seen growing up were white actors on my screen. This was normal to me, and people of color were what was foreign. I think this problem is gradually getting better. But we are still far from any sort of equality. When I was in 4th grade, my uncle asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. I said and actor. If given the opportunity today, I’d take it in a heartbeat. Part of the reason why I don’t think this dream will ever come alive is the self-doubt. Asians are raised to be practical. Doctors, engineers, lawyers. We crave stability and practicality. These professions provide that. Careers in the arts are always looked down upon because they are volatile and not guaranteed to provide a steady income. We are raised to have what our parents and generations before us did not. We are raised to fulfill our family’s wishes. We are raised to set aside our insane bizarre dreams. And I think this is in large part why we don’t see a lot of Asian representation in the entertainment industry. I am at a fork in my road of life. I have all these interests and desires and I don’t know which one to pursue. What has always been in front of me and what I have always been going toward has been the practical realistic route. A software engineer. But the paths of actress and musician have always been in the background. If you know me, you’ll know I love tv, film, and music. More than anything in this world. I never really truly considered acting or singing as a serious option for myself. I’ve always thought, there aren’t any Asians, no way would I ever get a job. NOt only are you a person of color, but a woman too, good luck getting a job. The odds of getting a job is definitely a lot more difficult. But that is also the problem. If we’re so conditioned to believe this, then we’ll never get the representation we desire and deserve. Another doubt is my own skills. Can I even act? Can I even sing? Am I even pretty enough for film? I don’t even know how to begin measuring any of this. Let alone getting into the industry. I don’t know if I’m cut out for the industry. If I ever end up in Southern California, I’d give it a shot. But for now, I think my Asian rational is screaming at me to be a realist. And then there’s another part of me that’s wondering what if the reason I haven’t gotten a Software Engineer gig is because I was meant to pursue my true passion. If you know me, you’ll know that I bleed creativity. And this part of me wants to be the first Asian Academy Award winning Actress. This part of me wants to lead the revolution that brings our people into the limelight. This part of me wants to chase this dream I’ve had since I was 8. This is the classic head vs. heart scenario. Which do you follow? Which do you listen to? How do you know which is right? What if the one you choose isn’t right? At what point do you make the crazy decision and leap and don’t look back? Because if you follow one path, you’re likely never to ever pursue the other. 22 year old me now doesn’t know what to do. This is the hard part of life. Where you’re lost to no end, with no sense of direction on how to move forward. Wherever my life may lead me, I know that I’ll always support Asians in Hollywood and entertainment.

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