#Wish I’d said that – May 28

[selfindulgentpixies]

And it's here! Part 4 of my Suguru x reader x Satoru fic. This chapter is once again extremely spoiler heavy and I recommend you're at least caught up on the anime (ep:28) before reading. I worked really hard on this part and have been super excited to share it. Content: Gn!reader (reader gets referred to as pretty/adorable at various points with they/them pronouns), reader's CT is important to the story, Canon typical violence, Toji is here and is his own warning label truly. Word count: 3514 Master list

Chapter 4: Realizations and losses

It’s late when things finally quiet down, the sun long since sinking below the horizon when you approach Satoru with a cup of overly sweet coffee and press it into his hands. He looks at you in surprise as you go to sit across from him with your own mug in hand. “I thought you were going to sleep.”

You hum and then wince when you burn your tongue slightly on your coffee. You let your tongue peek out from between your lips for a moment, unable to notice how Satoru’s eyes linger on it past his glasses. “I decided I wanted to stay up with you.”

“You really should sleep, only I need to stay up.”

“Yeah but I said I want to stay up with you. I want to keep you company. I can just sleep on the plane tomorrow morning.” You blow on your coffee. “ Unless you object to my company?” You glance at him over the rim of your mug, having no idea how cute you look at that moment.

“Of course I don’t.” He sips the coffee prepared to be disgusted by the bitter taste then gives you a surprised look. “You put in enough sugar the first try?”

“I couldn’t help but watch in horrified fascination yesterday when you were making your coffee. You’re worse than a little kid.” You tentatively sip your own coffee, now satisfied it won’t scald your mouth. The two of you sit in silence for a time. “You know… You’ve been really kind the last couple days.”

“I’m always kind,” he retorts almost reflexively.

You give him a wry look. “Uhuh… Well you’ve been especially kind to Riko-chan. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you be so considerate of another person before.” He looks like he’s about to protest but you continue, your cheeks heating up about what you’re going to say. “I like seeing this side of you. Like a lot. Making sure not only that Riko’s safe but also making sure she’s as happy as she can be. It makes me happy that the two of you decided to bring me along. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also have a lot of fun today too.” 

Perhaps it’s just the lighting but when you look at Satoru you could swear he’s blushing. You wonder if you should take it as a chance to tease him to try and mitigate the fact that you’d just praised him and how that may come back to bite you in the form of being teased yourself. You don’t though. He’s done so much for everyone else on this mission at his own expense you think you can give him that at least. Despite how tired he looks he’s also so pretty and has a certain softness to him in the dim orange light. You wish you could see his eyes past the dark lenses of his glasses, you’re certain he’s looking at you and you wonder what you’d see without those small glass barriers between you. You clear your throat. “You’re never this quiet, it’s making me nervous. Did I say something wrong?” 

He shakes his head. “No, nothing wrong.” He just couldn’t help but think the way you’re looking at him now is how you look at Suguru. He wants to burn this moment into his memory because even with how self assured he is he’s not sure if this will just be a passing thing. Having your full attention in this way. A yawn escapes you though and he glances toward the clock. It’s two sixteen in the morning. “You really should go to bed. I’ll be fine on my own.”

You rub some sleep from your eyes and shake your head. “No, I said I wanted to stay up with you so I will.” You give him a determined pout. “You shouldn’t have to sit up all by yourself watching over all of us.” 

“I’m one of the strongest, I’m fine sitting up alone-”

“Strongest or not you’re still just a person… Even with Suguru being the strongest must get lonely…” The last part is said so quietly, almost as if you weren’t sure you wanted him to actually hear you. You down the rest of your coffee, stand and then look at Satoru again, he’s looking back, his glasses sitting lower on his nose and a look of surprise on his face. His glowing gaze is fixed on you and you want to fidget but instead take the two steps needed to be in front of him. Suddenly feeling as if you need to play it off you ask. “Ah.. do you need more coffee?” You hold out a hand for his mug. His fingers twitch against the porcelain before he passes the mug to you.

You swear you can feel his eyes following you when you go to get more coffee. You wonder if you said too much but you’d meant what you said. It applied to both of the upperclassmen. How they seem to stand at the top out of reach of everyone else. You felt a bit like you were stumbling and tripping after them the last couple of months. This mission made it feel like they’d actually stopped and waited for you though. Perhaps that’s just wistful think- 

You weren’t paying enough attention as you were filling your own mug, causing it to overflow. “Shit!” You curse, covering your mouth hoping you weren't too loud.  

“You alright?” Satoru asks. 

You wince, a little embarrassed. “I’m fine, just spilled some coffee.” You give a half shrug and look around for something to wipe up your mess with. Then through the thin fabric of your shirt you feel the warmth of the older boy nearly pressed against your back.

“Here, let me get it.” He reaches forward with a washcloth in one hand, a pretty stark white thing with the hotel’s logo on it, while his other hand rests against the counter on your other side, effectively caging you between the counter and himself. Your heart beats wildly in against your ribs as he wipes up the mess and you don’t dare move since the slightest movement would press your back against his bare chest. Then the moment passes, he pulls back and tosses the soiled washcloth into the sink. “Is this one mine?” he points at the mug filled with milky coffee and with what you know is a sugary sludge at the bottom. 

“Y-yeah that one's yours,” you stumble over your words and want to kick yourself over the knowing grin that takes over his lips. You turn away and carefully empty the excess coffee out of your own mug to make room for creamer and sugar. When you turn back around Satoru is leaning against the wall sipping his coffee, watching you. Looking at you like you’re a puzzle he’s trying to piece together. 

He jerks his head indicating for you to follow him. “Come sit with me?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him. You’d already been sitting with him? He turns and goes back to the sitting area, passes the cushioned chairs and opens the sliding glass doors to go sit in one of the balcony chairs. He leaves the door open for you to follow and you do. Taking a deep breath of ocean air and then letting it out slowly you sit next to him but then immediately stand back up, your coffee sloshing in your mug as you set it on the railing, causing him to give you a startled look. 

“I almost forgot! I’ll be right back!” And you rush back inside, leaving him to blink after you in confusion. When you return several moments later it’s with your backpack and you’re mumbling to yourself. ”I hope it’s all still good…” You sit back down next to Gojo and begin to rummage through your bag. 

“Hope that what’s still good?” You answer the question with a triumphant hum as you pull out the prettily wrapped box of mochi and hold it out to him. 

“Remember on the first day of the mission you and Suguru sent me to go get snacks? Everything got so busy so quick that I completely forgot to give them to you.” 

“I completely forgot about it,” He admits with a gleeful smile. He takes the box, pulling off the decorative ribbon so that he can open it. The pillowy soft sweet treats had managed to get through the last couple of days in your bag unscathed thanks to how you had carefully tucked them away. He picks up one of the light pink ones, already able to smell the sweet scent of strawberry before popping the whole thing into his mouth, one of his cheeks puffing out like a chipmunk. The sight makes you giggle. 

“I’m glad I remembered them. I would have felt bad if they’d gone ba-” You stop mid word as the powdery and plush surface of mochi touches your lips. You blush when you realize he’s trying to feed you and you turn face out of shyness, making a trail of rice flour coat your lips and onto your cheek. You hope that in the dim light he can’t tell how flustered you’d suddenly become. 

He pouts, “Come on take it.. They’re really good.” He knows very well that you’ve turned your face away because he’s flustered you and relishes in how cute you look. You’re not even getting annoyed at him for his antics which encourages him, leading him to lightly bump the plush treat against your equally plush cheek teasingly. 

“Stooop,” you’re a little surprised when he lets you take it with your hand instead of pulling it away and insisting you let him feed it to you. That felt like the sort of teasing he’d do anyway. You can’t quite bring yourself to meet his gaze as you take the mochi and bite into it. This one has a mellow sweetness to it, slightly earthy, if you had to guess the flavor you’d say it’s matcha.

He leans back in his chair putting his hands behind his head with the box of treats balanced on his lap. A small, and admittedly smug, smile curls his lips as he watches you pop the second half into your mouth. “Good yeah?” 

You nod and shyly glance his way. He surprises you by not pushing his teasing further and the two of you spend the rest of the night talking. He occasionally passes you another mochi or even rips some in half to share if it’s one from the variety box where only one got put in. There’s a cream flavored one he does this with that both of you are particularly fond of. You realize at some point that he’s actually let you do most of the talking. Getting you talk about your favorite shows and hobbies, what sort of places you’d like to go. You’re so used to him normally dominating conversation that it makes you feel a little off balance once you realize it. You could try rationalizing it as him just being tired but It feels like once again on this mission you’re seeing another more thoughtful side to him.

Somewhere around four am you finally doze off in your chair. You’d have an hour and a half to rest before you’d need to get up and ready to go for the morning flight. Careful to not wake you, Satoru drapes his hoodie over you. He smiles as you curl up with it, snuggling into his warmth that still clings to the fabric. He’s about to go inside to get changed into his uniform when he pauses looking back at you. So cute all curled up with your cheek pressed into the red fabric, getting just a bit of rice flour on it. He takes out his phone and takes a quick picture. His heart stutters for a moment when after the flash goes off you grumble and bury your face deeper into the hoodie. When you don’t do anything else though he smiles to himself, looks at the picture and then goes inside to get changed. 

You’re woken up by Riko later who’s giving you a sly look with a hint of blush to her cheeks. “So what did you do last night?” She pokes your cheek. 

You blink at her in sleepy confusion, still even trying to remember where you are and what year it is, let alone what you did last night. Then she points to your chest where you’re wrapped up in and clinging to a red hoodie

The ensuing commotion on the balcony draws three curious stares to the two of you. 

Suguru glances toward Satoru not even needing to voice his question. 

“Just talked until they fell asleep. Didn’t want them to get cold,” he gives a half shrug, playing it off. 

Suguru’s hum is as knowing as his smile. 

___

How? How was this possible? Somehow the sight before you is even harder to understand than the blade through Gojo’s chest had been.  You watch as Riko’s blood slips away, soaking into the stone floor at your feet. Your brain screams as you look at her unmoving form on the ground. One moment it was decided that she’d get to go on living and then in the next she was… How’d this even happen? Gojo was supposed to have.. Your mind screams at what this could mean, not wanting to comprehend it. Then the strange man from before speaks and like a puppet with its strings pulled your head jerks toward him. The only thing that cuts through the buzz in your brain is when he says he killed Satoru. 

“Is that so? Then die!” Your eyes move to Suguru, his curses making your hair stand on end as they emerge on either side of you. “___, I’ll make an opening and then you go to Satoru, maybe it’s not too late.” 

You’re torn, part of you wants to remain by Suguru’s side to help him fight, to maybe know he’s okay, but the other part of you desperately wants to get to Satoru like he’s telling you to. You swallow and nod. “Please be careful,” Your voice is tight, shaken, it makes you feel weak. 

“Tch, I won’t stop them. They can go to him all they like, it won’t make a difference.”

You grit your teeth and clench your fists before dashing past the man. 

“If you back down now the two of you can still walk away.” You hear the man say before the sounds of fighting break out. You push yourself to run harder.

When you see Kuroi’s body outside the elevator you have to stop. You feel sick and you can’t stop yourself from throwing up. You’re hunched over, arms on your knees, retching, desperately trying to grasp your composer. Taking several shaking steps to close  the distance between you you check for a pulse and when you find none it truly hits you that the three of you failed. You couldn’t save Riko, you couldn’t even keep Kuroi safe. You stumble back a step before running into the elevator, willing it to move faster. You need to get to Satoru. 

Reaching the surface and nearing where you remember the fight starting all you see is devastation. No, not just devastation, you also see a swarm of fly heads gathered around a still figure lying on a raised surface at the center of a crater. Rage and grief sear through your veins and without you fully willing it to one of your weapons form in your hands, a large axe with a serrated edge of teeth where a blade would normally be, a truly ugly and fleshy thing still pulsing with its own life. Your body moves and you cut through the fly heads, a slash of cursed energy going beyond the initial strike of the blade. The fly head’s disintegrate and Satoru’s hair ruffles in the wind. 

God there’s so much blood, soo fucking much that you don’t even know where to start as you fall to your knees by his head. “S-senpai? Satoru-senpai, please, you have to be okay-” You choke on unbidden tears as you pull his head onto your lap. This was all too much. Riko, Kuroi and now..  “Satoru, this isn’t funny, you gotta get up.” Your tears fall on his face, mixing with his blood as they slide down. “You’re the strongest.. You gotta get up. Please Suguru is fighting that monster now, we need you, i can’t- i want-” You sob, hanging your head and curling around him, letting your forehead touch his, uncaring that his blood is getting on your face as well as your lap. His blue eyes once so full of life stare blankly at you, all the warmth of them from the previous night gone in a brutal wash of blood. “You can’t be gone, not yet..” you choke on tears feeling useless. There was no way you could even begin to staunch the bleeding of so many wounds in so many places. “Satoru.. Satoru please..” His name falls from your lips like a prayer.

You’re not sure how long you sit there frozen with him. Sickness twisting in your stomach at the grief. If you were thinking clearly you probably would have gone back to Suguru or even tried to call in some sort of medical help. 

“You should have listened when I said it wouldn’t make a difference.” 

You jerk your head up toward the voice, watching as he walks around the crater, not really paying attention to you.  If he’s here then.. Then that means. Suguru too. Blood rushes in your ears and your axe rematerializes as you gently place Satoru’s head down and rise back to your feet. 

The man stops and glances over his shoulder. “I’d rethink that if I were you.” 

You don’t. You can’t. You’re moving, driven purely by rage and grief. Never have you hated someone so much in your life as you hate this man right now. Your axe screeches as you swing it, the initial slash cutting into the stonework where the man had once stood followed by the shockwave of cursed energy tearing a further path into it.

Too slow. You were too slow. You need a faster weapon. You watch the man land unharmed and you can feel him assessing you like it was the first time he was really looking at you since this all began. Your axe seems to absorb back into you while a lance of linked hands takes its place, the sharp end starts like two hands pressed together in prayer until the fingers fuse together into a sharp blade. Logically you knew that if Satoru and Suguru couldn’t kill him you had no chance. But there’s no logic to be had in grief, not in grief as raw as this. 

“You know, I don’t plan on killing you. It could be just as troublesome as killing that boy down below would have been. You curse manipulators are a real pain.” He cracks his neck. “I don’t have an issue leaving you crippled though.”

You lunge, trying to impale the large man, and perhaps with a slower, less skilled opponent, they would have been a shredded up pin cushion by now. You hadn’t even managed to cause a scratch and one moment your weapon is in your hands and the next it’s gone, you don’t stop to think about it, instinct driving you to summon another.

“Tch those hands of yours are a real pain, you know that?”

He’s directly behind you. 

Before you can do anything he’s grabbed your arms and pulled them back as far as they’ll naturally go. Time slows as you feel his knee plant in the middle of your back. There’s screaming and you realize it’s yours accompanied by several sickening pops and cracks. Your blade falls from your hand and you follow to the ground soon after. 

Gasping, all your eyes can focus on is Satoru’s body just beyond the other side of the crater. That changes as suddenly your vision is taken up by the large man crouching in front of you. “I warned you, you know.” he tips his head to the side and scratches his neck, then reaches for your hair, yanking your head up to focus on him. “Really a waste of a pretty little thing like you.” The grin he aims at you is more like a baring of teeth than a smile. You grit your teeth and glare. “Ooh now that’s a scary look-” You spit in his face. 

With his free hand he wipes away your spit then rises to his feet, still holding you by your hair. “Now why’d you have to go and do that?”  You’re dangling like a helpless kitten, your arms hanging uselessly at your sides. Then the man’s fist crushes into your abdomen and the world goes dark. 

Thank you all so much for reading! I've really been enjoying working on this series. It has couple more parts to it that I'm working on. Got some juicy scenes planned that will delve more into the actual love aspect of it but it was important to cover the events of hidden inventory first. Again so I'm so glad people are enjoying my self indulgent story. If part one hadn't gotten such a kind response it would have remained a drabble. Part 5 may take a bit more time to come out because i've been writing like a madman and I want to take a break to draw. Maybe I'll even draw art for this who knows. But def want to pace myself so I don't burn myself out on this story since I do love it.

Here's art for the first part of this chapter!

tag list (if you want to ask to be added to it you must have your age in your bio. I will not add ageless of underage blogs to my tag lists since my blog has Minor DNI policy) : @strawberrystepmom @nanamikentoseyebags @icy-spicy @gojoest @Porridesblog

[girl-named-matty]

I AM BEGGING FOR A PART 2 FOR THE SEB HEADCANONS

Your wish is my command ✨

Random Sebastian Sallow Headcanons by me.

Surprisingly a good cook. While Anne was sick and Solomon was out, he’d cook for Anne quite a bit and so he got the hang of it pretty quickly. 

His mother used to sing him to sleep every night as a kid. 

Definitely a mama’s boy but he still had a really good relationship with his dad. 

Anne was his best friend up until meeting Ominis, then he had two best friends. But he and Anne used to do practically everything together. After all they, all they had was each other after the death of their parents and it only got better after Ominis joined.

He introduced himself to Ominis the moment he saw him.

They share a dorm so when Sebastian saw Ominis he immediately introduced himself, then quickly introduced Anne the next time he saw her. 

Definitely teased Ominis and Anne saying they had “crushes” on each other, even if they didn’t. 

He plays the beater position in quidditch. (I mean, is it really up for debate?) 

I feel like his career would be somewhere along the lines of a Curse-Breaker or something where he’d have more free will so he could do what he wanted to do while still working. 

If he ever took up a position at Hogwarts, he’d definitely want to be the DADA professor. 

The Sallow family rejected blood purity before he was born, hence why the Sallows weren’t on the sacred 28.

When he meets you, he falls FAST. Ever since you kicked his butt in that duel, he’s been absolutely smitten. He likes a partner who can stand their own. 

Surprisingly really funny. He has a very clever sense of humor and when it's not clever jokes it's sarcastic and witty comments. 

Speaking of sarcasm, this boy is almost overbearingly sarcastic sometimes. 

He sometimes has a hard time letting things go. He will admit he was wrong pretty quickly but that doesn’t mean he’ll let it go. Whether he’s verbal about it or not, he’ll probably be thinking about it for a while. 

This boy has ADHD, no one can convince me otherwise. 

Loses track of time SO often when he’s doing things he enjoys. 

Probably sits in the weirdest positions too. He’ll be reading a book in the common room on his back with his legs up on the back of the couch, ignoring everyone else around him giving him weird looks. 

He and Amit are probably pretty good friends. Both are very intelligent and would probably have some cool discussions. 

Honestly, he hates being told no. ESPECIALLY when he’s put a lot of thought and time into things he’s told he can’t do. He rarely listens, hence why he gets into so much trouble. 

Ominis AKA “mominis,” always has to make sure he’s not getting into TOO much trouble around school. 

He definitely doesn’t pick on first years and he thinks people who do are jerks. He’d rather go off on a 6th or 7th year rather than a kid younger than him. He is a big brother after all. 

Like I said, he’s the older twin and he’s always been there for Anne. 

He’s definitely a night owl. He’ll stay up far too late reading or tinkering with random things he finds interesting. 

The simplest of things can make this boy excited. Random contraption? He’s gotta fiddle around with it. Cool book? He’s finished by the end of the day with it. 

I’d say his favorite professors are definitely Professor Ronen and Hecate, although he has a lot of respect for the other professors (except for Professor Black, Sebastian is quite annoyed with him) 

As stated in the game, he goes down to the undercroft all the time, almost daily. He studies down there and hides all the books he’s snagged from the restricted section in there and since Ominis can’t see the book titles even with his wand, he never gets caught with those. 

Overall one of the sweetest and most interesting guys you’ll ever meet at Hogwarts. 

I may start doing these for other HL characters. So I guess requests for the HL characters are open!

[emilybahu]

My Thoughts While Watching 8x01 of 9-1-1:

(Literally no one asked for this and it’s so late, but whatever… I had fun spending an hour and a half watching a 43 minute tv show episode to share my thoughts 🤷‍♀️)

1. Oh this poor man just bought his new plane then he gets caught in a beenado… what did he do to deserve that?

2. Oh crap oh crap! He about to crash!!

3. God damn Gerrard… I hate him with every fiber of my being😠

4. EDDIE I love you, I love you, I love you! But now that Gerrard said he likes the mustache it’s gotta go…

5. BUCK’S CRULS ARE FREE!!! Omg I just love him so much he’s so pretty!

6. Also, Gerrard 🙄🙄🙄

7. 3 MONTHS AGO! Not much of a time jump my ass! LIARS!

8. Who are you Gerrard? Donald Trump? Building a fence (wall)…

9. ATHENA! Hey queen! Oh wait, they making you transport the man who killed your fiancé… yikes 😬

10. He requested her!?

11. Buck… BUCK! What are you doing!? Get away from the ledge!

12. “Don’t jump!” “Why not?” 😀 Buck you know perfectly well why we don’t want you to jump, and it has nothing to do with the quote below.

13. “Gerrard would just make us clean you up off the sidewalk.” This line is hilarious and so not hilarious at the same time!

14. My poor baby boy! Buck come here let me give you a hug!

15. Chimney making fun of Eddie’s mustache 😂

16. Bobby the technical advisor 🤭

17. It’s so funny that there’s a show within the show!

18. Poor Bobby, like it is partially his fault that he’s not at the 118 right now, but you can tell he misses his team 🥺

19. Oh this kid, I love her already! And fair question Mom, what exactly does she mean by “hooking up”?

20. OH NO THE BEEEESSSS!!!

21. Yesss Buck and his fun facts! I love it!

22. Ugh 😑 Gerrard, that’s rude, our favs at the 118 are beautiful! You’re just salty because you’re old and ugly and no one likes you.

23. I’m sorry like half of this is gonna be me complaining about Gerrard… he’s so rude though! How dare he yell at Josh like that, for something he can’t control.

24. No, no, no! The bees got in!

25. No, no, nope! ABSOLUTELY NOT! The bees fucking went down the second driver’s throat!? I’d be outta there in a second!

26. Why did you smack the bee!? Aahhhhhh no!

27. Thank god the girl is okay! Oh damn, of course the mom gets stung too!

28. “Why do I taste honey?” SIR?!

29. Oh god no!

30. This poor kid, this has got to be so incredibly traumatic, she had to give her own mother an EpiPen.

31. God I’m sorry, I just love Buck so much! That little smile when the bee landed on his finger! ☺️

32. Good lord here I go again… what the hell Gerrard! Buck saved the patients and you’re reprimanding him!

33. “It’s a beenado” 🐝🌪️

34. Bobby and Athena house hunting! I love them!

35. Here goes Athena breaking my heart…💔

36. Eeeeeee! Family dinner! I love this so much!

37. Mara calls them Mom and Momma! It’s too cute! And Jee omg I can’t even with her! She’s precious!

38. Awwww Chimney bonding with Mara over Harry Potter! I love that for them!

39. Yes Denny, their boss is a jerk, you are very correct!

40. Eeeeeeee! Tommy! I didn’t think we’d see you in episode one!! Yay!!!

41. Literally I got so excited when I saw the cupcakes and the sign, I thought Chris might be coming back… oh how I was wrong.

42. Oh my boys! I love them so much! I NEED to see more of Buck, Eddie, and Tommy together!

43. I may or may not have actually screamed… Buck and Tommy flirting! They are so adorable together I can’t handle this!

44. Oh Eddie, bless his heart! So excited to talk to Chris and wish him a happy birthday. Meanwhile his son still can’t look at him, even though a computer screen. 😢

45. He made such an effort, just for the screen to freeze and for Chris to leave him hanging. You can see the man’s heart breaking behind his eyes. My heart broke too, but I understand the kid needing time.

46. But seriously seeing Eddie’s lip quiver like that when his mom mentions putting in a pool… PLEASE CHRIS COME BACK TO US! We can’t handle seeing your dad this heartbroken! 💔

47. This woman be here having a midlife crisis, making her own fragrance, only for the bees to crash her party.

48. “Tomorrow is going to be flawless” cue the giant swarm of killer bees just hanging out on top of the tent.

49. Oop her party is ruined…

50. Oh not Buck volunteering Eddie ass the bee bait! 😂

51. “But why me?” “Because you’re the fastest runner!” Stop it now I’m cackling! 🤣

52. The close up of Eddie’s face has me wheezing! 🤣🤣 Oooo he runnin’!!

53. Oh that close up bee cgi is sooo bad it’s hilarious! 🤣

54. Yeah sure, duct tape fixes everything, but why is it in the medical bag!?

55. “I’ve been shot before, I’m pretty sure I can handle this.” It’s funny because the beekeeper was talking to the bees not Eddie! 🤣 (sorry for the excessive use of the laughing emojis I can’t help it)

56. Come on man, Buck is like a little puppy, you gotta give him some praise!

57. And we have Buck with the episode title drop!

58. Noooo Athena! 😢 Come on let me give you a hug! 🫂 So much ✨Trauma✨

59. Ooo this is a fishy situation…but Athena knows what’s up.

60. NO ONE and I mean no one messes with Athena Grant! She knows her shit!

61. She straight up locked this man in a trunk of a car in the middle of the desert! My dude, what!?

62. “Get yourself back to LA in one piece.” Little did she know what was going to happen next…

63. Not the actor being star struck by Bobby, I love that!

64. “I’m gonna study you tip to tail” 🤣

65. Good god Gerrard you got everyone watching Buck like a hawk to make sure he doesn’t deck you.

66. Eddie walking behind Gerrard signing to Buck to cut it out… he tried to help

67. “Broody little pout” 🤣✨

68. Do WE need to remind YOU Gerrard who’s the TRUE captain of this firehouse… news flash it’s NOT YOU!

69. Eddie in the background, we all know he’s got Buck’s back

70. Eeww I just paused on the close up of Gerrard’s mouth… gross. Also, have I mentioned that I HATE this man.

71. Oh my good god! Buck’s eyes are fucking beautiful!

72. Woah, oh wow, that was crazy dude! I seriously can’t tell if Buck snapped and tackled him to the ground, or if he did it to save him.

73. OH CRAP! OF FUCKING COURSE ATHENA WAS ON THE PLANE FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE!

[snowdice]

Big Bang Editing Story [Day 124]

I started writing this fic while editing my Big Bang story years ago, but am going to continue doing it for other things now that Kill Dear is out. I will write and publish 100 words of the story every time I finish doing whatever task I’m doing. If you’d like to block these proceedings, please feel free to block the tag ‘proofread stories.’ I will reblog this post with the parts of the story I do today. Edited chapters are linked; everything else I’ve done so far is under the cut.

My Master Post Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38 Part 39 Part 40 Part 41 Part 42 Part 43 Part 44 Part 45 Part 46 Part 47 Part 48 Part 49 Part 50 Part 51 Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55

I have been sick as a dog since I last worked on this story. I'm not even doing any work today lol. I just want to get this chapter finished. Will probably do a couple rounds and then cook myself dinner, so there may be a gap at some point. Mostly I'll just be, like, reading when not posting. Wish me luck.

“Good day for a picnic,” Helen commented as she handed over the basket Thomas had requested from her a few days before. He was taking Logan, Patton, and Virgil to the cliffs today and it was perfect weather for it. Spring was truly here, which meant that those of Thomas’s duties that had laid dormant over the harsh winter were about to start up again.

The world had been on pause for a bit considering no armies or agents from any kingdom could get through the snow the last few months, but the concerns of last fall were showing their heads once again.

Thomas had just gotten word a day ago that the queen of Lamir had routed out a second assassin hiding in her ranks over the winter. The assassin had been sent shortly after it was made clear that the queen wouldn’t bow down after the assassination of her mother. Luckily, the assassin sent for Queen Cecil had not managed to complete her mission during the winter months.

While there had been no similar attempt on Prijaznia soil, Thomas couldn’t help but feel it was only a matter of time now that the snow had melted. They were already working on increasing security in the coming weeks and, though it was doubtful an assassin had managed to hide in the castle all winter without revealing themselves, they’d be closely scrutinizing all of the newer staff members.

It would be a stressful time in the coming months, which is why, despite everything Thomas needed to do, he was still going to take his son and his son’s friends on a picnic today. Logan had already started taking on royal duties as of late, but he still hadn’t taken them all on quite yet. Considering this was last summer before Logan was of age, they should at least try to take advantage of it where they could. Patton was a year younger, but the sentiment held for him as well.

Then there was Virgil. Despite their best efforts, they still didn’t know enough about Virgil, but Thomas was fairly sure he’d never had a summer to enjoy until now.

“Thanks for prepping lunch for us,” Thomas said to Helen with a smile.

“No problem,” she said waving them off. “I put in some of Virgil’s favorites.”

“Great,” Thomas said. “Do you know where the kids are?”

“Patton said they were going to go pet the cats, so I’d guess they’re in the gardens.”

Thomas thanked her again and told her to have a good day before exiting the kitchen. There was a nearby door that led straight towards the part of the gardens Patton and Logan had always favored. He figured they’d either still be around there, or they would have wandered towards the stables by now knowing that they’d be taking horses to the cliffs. So, he decided to simply walk the normal path from the door to the stable, hoping to find them.

His prediction ended up being hilariously correct. They were indeed on the path Thomas had chosen. It was clear they (or at least Logan) were attempting to make it to the stable. However, as was typical, a portion of the party had been waylaid by whimsy.

Logan was standing further down the path, arms crossed and frowning as he watched his friends. Patton and Virgil were surrounded by cats. Patton was sitting down, holding two of them in his lap and watching Virgil’s legs being swarmed by the rest of them, maybe two dozen in total.

Virgil looked confused, but not unhappy about the presence of so many cats. He was leaning down to try to pet them all.

Logan met Thomas’s eyes as he approached and waved a frustrated hand at the two of them. Logan couldn’t help but smile.

“Virgil fed one of them,” Logan complained as though he wanted Thomas to somehow go into the past and prevent this crime.

Patton and Virgil looked over at Thomas, noticing him when Logan addressed him.

“You’re going to make Princess Marisol jealous,” Thomas said. Logan frowned at Thomas as he used the ‘Princess’ label for the cat.

“Princess Marisol decided not to come,” Virgil said with a shrug. He continued to pet one of the cats.

“She’s probably sleeping on my pillow,” Logan said, sounding grumpy.

Thomas just chuckled. Princess Marisol was technically Logan’s cat, at least that’s what the kids said, and she did spend much of her time in the royal rooms. However, she was very clearly actually Virgil’s cat. Virgil just spent a lot of time in the royal wing as well.

In fact, Thomas still didn’t know where Virgil was supposed to be sleeping. He and Mr. Deknis had gone so far as to tail him a couple of times, but he always ended up sleeping in Logan’s room those nights.

Knowing Virgil, he might just sleep in the walls. Though that still did not answer the question of where his parents or guardians were. They still had not figured it out. Thomas would assume he was an orphan who’d snuck onto castle grounds for safety, but Virgil had told Mr. Deknis during their first meeting that he was supposed to be in the castle, and it had not been a lie.

Then again, it had slowly become apparent that Virgil was good at dodging the multrum’s powers. It was starting to seem more likely that he’d somehow inserted a second meaning into his answer to Mr. Deknis that night than he somehow had some ghost guardian no one was able to locate working in the castle.

“She deserves the pillow more than you,” Virgil said, bringing Thomas’s thoughts back to the situation at hand. The look of audacity on Logan’s face made Thomas chuckle.

Thomas cut in before it could become a fight. “I could get Princess Marisol a pillow, so she doesn’t sleep on yours. Or we can get you a new pillow if you’d prefer, Logan.”

“It’s not about the pillow for her,” Logan argued. “It’s about her inflated sense of superiority.”

“She deserves it,” Virgil declared. Thomas could tell he was just trying to rile Logan up, and Thomas was sure Logan knew it too, but still his son reacted exactly in the way Virgil wanted him to.

“You have enabled and encouraged this behavior from the start!” Logan seethed.

“She’s a princess.”

“She is not a princess!”

Patton shook his head while squeezing the cats in his arms, completely used to this behavior. He ran a chin idly over one of the cat’s heads while watching the argument.

“We’re never going to make it to the picnic at this rate,” Thomas said to him, “and after your mother made all of this wonderful food.”

“You’re the dad,” Patton said. “Make them stop.”

And, of course, Patton did just mean that he was Logan’s dad with that statement. However, when he glanced back up at the silly argument still going on between his son and the cat covered boy, it did almost look like a fight between siblings.

Especially with the dark hair and stubborn but mischievous look in Virgil’s eyes, Thomas could almost imagine the boy being his own child.

He shook away the thoughts and glanced at the picnic basket in his hand.

“We do have a lot of food in this basket,” Thomas said, pitching his voice up so that Logan (and more importantly) Virgil would hear them clearly.

Virgil immediately turned to look at him, abandoning all interest in antagonizing Logan to look at the basket curiously.

Thomas was never sure if he should be amused or worried about how food motivated Virgil often was.

“What’s in the basket?” Virgil asked.

“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “Patton’s mom made it. We’ll just have to see once we get to the picnic area.”

Virgil nodded in understanding and began to gently extract himself from the droves of cats. Logan rolled his eyes, but didn’t seem inclined to continue the argument he’d been dragged into. Virgil and Patton got to their feet, and they continued on their way towards the stables.

The horses Thomas had requested be prepared for their trip were already in saddles, though the stable hand who had been handling Mr. Apples seemed a bit dirtier and more exhausted than the rest.

The stable hand seemed as happy to hand Mr. Apples over to Virgil as Virgil was to have Mr. Apples handed over to him. Thomas received Bella with a smile and Logan and Patton got their own horses as well.

The cliffs were about half an hour's ride from the main castle. There was a mostly well-maintained path to them, though it was easy to get lost if one didn’t know the way. Mr. Apples knew the way perhaps better than Thomas himself and seemed annoyed by the fact that Thomas was trying to lead the way. Virgil and Thomas ended up side-by-side whenever the path allowed it to placate him.

Thomas still marveled at how willing Mr. Apples was to let Virgil ride him, especially when he tossed his head in Thomas’s direction, a horse’s equivalent of giving Thomas a stink-eye.

“Are you excited for the picnic?” Thomas asked the boy beside him.

Virgil glanced over at him and nodded.

“I am too,” Thomas said. “It’s always beautiful this time of year. I’m glad I could find the time to take you all there this year.”

“Are you very busy?” Virgil asked curiously.

“I am king,” Thomas reminded, “and now that the world isn’t snowed in anymore things will be busy.”

“With the war?” Virgil asked.

Thomas paused for a few seconds. “Yes,” he confirmed. “With the war, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Virgil asked.

“You’re just a kid,” Thomas said.

“I’m 14,” Virgil said.

Thomas glanced at him. “Exactly,” he said, “a kid, and luckily, you’re in a place that can afford you the luxury of being one.”

“What do you mean?”

“The war has been mainly fought on Mocnejsi soil in recent years. Our boarders have held strong against invasions. Unless something goes horribly wrong suddenly, it would take a long time for the main conflict to get here. The only real threat in the castle would be assassins sent after me personally.”

“Right,” Virgil said. There was an awkward pause in conversation before he spoke again. “You’re winning the war then?” he asked.

“Something could always happen,” Thomas said, “but for the most part, yes, we have quite the advantage right now.”

“Oh,” Virgil said.

Thomas shook his head as they were coming up to a narrowing of the path. “Anyway, today is a day to not think about war. Today we’re going to have a lovely picnic and do some bird watching.”

“Right,” Virgil agreed from behind Thomas as Bella took the lead (to Mr. Apples discontent.)

When the path widened again, Thomas did his best to direct the topic to lighter subjects and soon they made it to the cliffs.

Chapter 57 (Virgil)

Virgil had never been to a picnic. At least, that’s what Patton had informed him when Virgil had described his past experiences of eating outdoors. Logan had agreed even though he’d admitted that the definition of “picnic” was only eating a pre-packaged meal outdoors which Virgil had done plenty of times.

From what Virgil could tell, the main difference was just how much stuff one brought to a picnic.

In addition to the basket full of food (that Virgil still hadn’t gotten to look in yet), the king had brought a large soft quilt that he had Logan and Virgil spread out on the ground for them all to sit on.

Patton and Logan had also packed some things themselves to bring along. Logan had brought along a book to read, and Patton had brought along a board game (thankfully not checkers but something Virgil did not recognize). Virgil hadn’t brought anything (except for the fire knife he was definitely not supposed to have and was definitely not letting the king see) because he hadn’t known he was supposed to bring things. He wouldn’t have known what to bring anyway.

The blanket was soft and a much better alternative to sitting on the ground, especially because, while there was grass at the top of The Cliffs, there were also a good number of rocks.

The king set the picnic basket in the middle of the blanket once it was spread out and then lowered himself down to sit on one side. Patton quickly followed him, already fiddling with some of his board game pieces, though he wasn’t setting it up yet. Virgil highly doubted that Logan was going to be allowed to read his book unless Patton eventually got bored of the game.

However, they would, hopefully, be allowed to make use of the basket the king had brought along.

Virgil followed the king and Patton’s lead and got to his knees on the blanket across the picnic basket from the king. He peered at the basket curiously.

He didn’t quite know what picnic food was, but Patton had told them they’d be getting ‘picnic food’ and he was very curious about what that meant.

King Thomas smiled at him. “Let’s see what Patton’s mom packed us, huh?” He reached for the basket and flipped it open as Logan sat next to Virgil. “There is a lot more food than usual in here,” the king said, sounding amused. “Let’s see.”

He began to pull out packaged food and glanced in each package to identify it before setting it out.

“We have a few types of mini sandwiches,” he said, putting them down, “and some pasta salad.” He set down the bowl.

“We also have… er something else.” He showed it to Logan.

“They’re hot cauliflower bites,” Logan said instantly upon seeing them. Virgil perked up in excitement. That was one of his favorite foods.

“Ah,” King Thomas said, but shrugged and set it down. “We also have two desserts apparently: cookies and mini apple pies. That last one’s a bit extra for a picnic.”

“They’re very good,” Virgil said happily.

“And we also have.” King Thomas paused, looking confused. “Chicken alfredo?”

“Yes!” Virgil said.

“Why do we have chicken alfredo for a picnic?”

“It’s a Virgil picnic,” Logan groaned. “She packed us a Virgil picnic.”

“Hey, at least momma sent us something too,” Patton said.

“I think I’ll stick to sandwiches for today,” King Thomas said. He looked at Patton and Logan. “Do either of you want…?”

“No,” Logan said. Patton shook his head.

The king nodded and offered the entire covered bowl of chicken alfredo to Virgil. “Here, this one’s yours,” he said.

“Really?” Virgil asked tentatively. It wasn’t exactly strange for people here to offer him food, and he’d expected and anticipated getting to eat on this venture, but the king of the country offering him an entire bowl of his favorite food was something else.

“It’s not really my idea of a picnic food and you seem excited for it,” King Thomas said with a warm smile, still holding it out.

Virgil took it reverently. Despite the time it had taken to get to the cliffs, the bottom of the container was still warm. Virgil assumed it was one of the heating spells the kitchen sometimes used.

“Thanks,” Virgil said, setting it in his lap.

“Of course, Virgil,” the king said.

The bowl was enough for four people to have a little bit, but for one person it was a lot. Still, Virgil was offered a little of every other food in the picnic basket (and he ate a good number of the hot cauliflower bites).

“Where do you put all of that?” the king asked when Virgil finished polishing off the chicken alfredo bowl.

Everyone else seemed to have finished eating long before Virgil, though Patton still had a small plate of grapes, and he occasionally popped one in his mouth. King Thomas was currently setting up the board game they’d brought on the blanket between all of them.

Virgil shrugged in answer to his question. “It’s good,” he said, “and I don’t want to waste any of it.”

“You know we can just take the leftovers back to the castle and eat them later,” King Thomas said. “You don’t have to eat it all now.”

Virgil just shrugged again, watching as the king set out a group of 8 figures on the board.

“Here, which character do you want to be?” the king asked Virgil, gesturing at the group of figures. Virgil had not noticed the figures were different at first glance. They were all copper colored and about the size of his thumb, but they had slightly different shapes. He squinted at them each carefully, finding they all looked like people, but with different clothing. Some worse pants and some skirts, a few had hats, and one was even carrying a book.

After a few moments, he pointed at one that looked like it had vines wrapped around its arms and was wearing a floppy hat that almost covered its eyes.

“That’s the druid,” King Thomas told him with a grin. “Good choice, and luckily not one that anyone usually fights over.” He glanced at Logan who didn’t react to his father’s gaze. He just plucked the figure clutching the book off the board for himself.

Patton and the king picked pieces for themselves. Patton picked one with an apron that kind of reminded Virgil of his mom and the king picked one that was in a suit of armor before putting the other 4 figures away.

Unlike checkers, this game wasn’t just for two people, and so no one had to sit watching people play while bored out of their mind.

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They played a practice round so Virgil could figure out how the game worked, though honestly it wasn’t that complicated, so it wasn’t really necessary.

The theme of the game was all about stealing. They were supposed to steal special tokens from other players as well as characters in the game and the first person with 20 tokens won.

The other three players argued that stealing was not the point and not the main mechanism of the game, but considering Virgil was consistently winning the entire time, he would argue they were just playing it wrong. He managed to collect 20 tokens before anyone else. In second place at this time was Logan with 9 tokens.

Logan insisted on continuing to play the game to determine 2nd and 3rd place, so Virgil ended up watching them play for a bit. Virgil didn’t mind sitting and watching other people play this game, mostly because he still had the joy of victory running in his veins.

Thomas was definitely going to lose, he noted. He kept wasting his money feeding the nonplayer characters who lived on his lands. Virgil didn’t mention this faulty strategy to him in case Virgil ever played him again.

When Logan took too long thinking about his next move, Virgil took in their surroundings.

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He’d been a bit too distracted by the prospect of food and then trying to understand (and then win) the game to truly take in The Cliffs. They were settled a good distance away from the cliffside but Virgil could still see how quickly the edge dropped off. He couldn’t see the large river he was told was at its base from where he was sitting, but he did see a few of the promised wild birds (including doves) flying around. The king had promised they’d bird watch for a bit, and Virgil figured that would happen after the game was over.

A cool spring breeze brushed across Virgil’s face, and he put his hand in his hoodie pockets to warm them. Instead, his fingers hit something icy cold.

For a moment, he didn’t remember what it was. The crescent shape of it was familiar when he put his hand over it, but he had never felt it cold before.

It was the protection charm: the first charm Virgil had ever made with Logan so many months ago. It was meant to ward off small threats as well as warn you about larger threats by changing temperature…

It had always been warm.

“What?” Patton asked, having noticed Virgil suddenly tense. Virgil, despite how he drilled into his friend’s heads to stay alert had gone soft. He’d let himself be distracted by a full belly and warm blankets and fun games.

He didn’t answer Patton. He filtered the other boy’s worried face out as well as Logan’s face as he glanced at him and the king’s still focused on the game for now. He filtered out the picnic blanket and smell of food still lingering in the air and the vine covered figure set in the middle of the board on the winner’s space. He filtered out the sound of the breeze and the breath of his companions and the distant chirping of birds.

And he heard a whoosh.

Chapter 58 (Patton)

If Patton hadn’t already been looking, he probably wouldn’t have had any idea what happened.

Everything had been fine. Virgil had been sitting cross legged, idly watching the conclusion of the game they’d been playing when his posture had suddenly changed. Patton had looked over at him only to see an expression on his face he didn’t recognize, but it didn’t seem good.

“What?” Patton had asked, but the question didn’t seem to register to Virgil.

Logan had glanced up confused and also noticed Virgil’s face. He’d just opened his mouth to also ask what was going on when chaos descended.

Virgil was suddenly moving, crashing into King Thomas who hadn’t even looked up to see something was wrong at that point. Patton realized after the fact that Virgil had swiped up the board of the game they’d been playing as he jumped over it, the pieces previously stacked on it scattering all over the blanket. There were three thumps as some things hit the thick board, imbedding themselves into the surface.

When Virgil discarded the board in favor of the picnic basket, Patton saw there were small darts in it oozing a dark black liquid. The parts of the board they touched were dissolving, the grass under the new holes beginning to wilt rapidly.

Logan seemed to notice the oozing liquid the same moment Patton did and was quicker to realize what it was. He grabbed Patton’s arm and yanked him away from the board so hard he almost dislocated Patton’s shoulder, not that Patton was too worried about that. He scrambled away from it when he realized what it must be himself.

He could hear the sound of glassware smashing above them. Logan and Patton had rolled off the blanket in their quest to get away from the smoldering, melting board and apparently Virgil had pulled the picnic blanket fully over the king at some point.

Virgil himself was now gone from where he’d been the last time Patton had looked and it took him a moment to figure out where the boy had gone. The person who had been shooting poisoned darts at them had been drawn out of the wooded area they’d been hiding in by Virgil’s attacks.

They were cloaked in dark green from head to toe, explaining why they’d been difficult to spot when they were in the woods. Whoever they were, they were significantly larger than Virgil, possibly an actual adult or almost adult assassin, but they were also clearly a long distant fighter. They had not been expecting resistance let alone resistance in the form of a so quick he was almost a blur fellow assassin.

They had a bow strapped to their back, but they hadn’t had a chance to get it. Instead, they were trying to fight Virgil off with an arrow they’d managed to draw from their quiver. Virgil, meanwhile was lunging at them with a broken piece of plate in one hand and the picnic basket in the other.

Virgil dodged out of the way of the arrow striking towards his arm, though Patton didn’t think it was because he was afraid of getting scratched by an arrow, but because it may also be poisoned tipped.

Virgil was distracted by dodging for long enough that the older assassin managed to hit him in the face with the arm not holding the arrow.

He went down, but he took the older assassin with him, sweeping their legs out from under them. Patton hadn’t noticed (his mind working too slow for how fast they were moving) but they were on a slight incline. They went rolling in a tangle of arms and legs towards the edge of the cliff and skidded to a stop only a few feet away.

Virgil ended up on top, his piece of broken plate in his hands. He moved to slash it across the other assassin’s throat and managed to draw blood, but the assassin’s fist came out to shove at Virgil’s chest at just the right moment, causing the strike to veer off course and slice across the assassin’s cheek instead.

Virgil jerked to the side to avoid a second strike to the chest and went back for another slash. The other assassin rolled to the side as he did and the plate only managed to nick their ear. The point of the motion hadn’t been to dodge, however. They were lunging for the arrow they’d dropped a few feet away while they’d rolled. They grabbed it with their right hand and in the same motion stabbed back behind them towards Virgil.

Virgil rolled to avoid the hit, already slashing up with his plate as the assassin turned back towards him.

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He didn’t hit them this time but his swipe managed to stop them from stabbing him when they tried again. They shoved themselves back to avoid Virgil’s swing, putting a bit of distance between them. Both of them managed to make it to their feet during the momentary reprieve, but both also stayed crouched, eyeing each other.

They both lunged towards each other at the same time. The assassin went for a stab to Virgil’s neck with the arrow, but Virgil was already ducking down. This time, he wasn’t going for a kill shot. He grabbed the assassin’s wrist and at the same time drove his piece of plate into the assassin’s arm, slicing down from the elbow to wrist. The assassin spoke for the first time, cursing in a language Patton didn’t recognize as they were forced to drop their arrow.

Virgil took a moment to kick the arrow away from the assassin and it ended up falling off the cliff.

However, this pause gave the assassin enough time to regroup. Despite their arm bleeding profusely, they still decided to use it to backhand Virgil across the face viciously, leaving a long line of their own blood across his face.

Virgil lunged back forward, but the assassin was able to get a leg between them, kicking Virgil squarely in the chest and sending him flying back a few feet parallel to the cliff’s edge.

The assassin went to grab their bow and another arrow from the quiver still strapped to their shoulder.

Virgil, however, apparently went for another weapon too and he was much faster with a knife than any archer. A knife appeared in his hand, having been strapped to his ankle and was embedded into the assassin’s chest before they could even full remove an arrow from their quiver.

The assassin promptly burst into flames, fire catching their clothes (and from the smell of it their skin) ablaze. Panicked and dying, they stumbled two steps to the side. They stepped directly off the cliff.

There was a second of silence. They heard the sound of the body hitting the ground far below and then the flap of wings and screeching as birds below fled from the startling sound (and possible soon to be forest fire).

…

“Uh, Virgil?” King Thomas said. He had managed to get the blanket off his head at some point. When, Patton didn’t know, but seeing any of it was probably enough.

Oopsie.

Chapter 59 (Logan)

Logan and Patton had been useless during the fight, but that may have been for the best. Considering the skill differential when it came to fighting (and that differential had never been as clear as it was in this moment), that was probably for the best. They likely would have just gotten in the way.

The moment Logan’s father spoke, however, they both jumped into action.

They both knew their jobs in a situation like this. Patton pushed himself up to his feet ungracefully and all but sprinted over towards Virgil. Logan, on the other hand stood to face his father, putting himself very purposefully between the man who had no idea what was going on yet and the boy who was two seconds away from remembering what was going on.

“I can explain,” Logan said.

His father was still sitting on the ground. “You can explain,” he said slowly, “how Virgil just threw an assassin off a cliff.”

Logan thought pointing out that Virgil hadn’t thrown anyone off a cliff and instead had set them on fire with a magical knife causing them to walk off a cliff, would not be useful in this moment. He glanced back briefly towards where Virgil and Patton were standing and then turned back to his father. “Yes.”

“And what would that explanation be?”

Before even starting to speak, Logan found himself making large dramatic ‘explaining hand gestures’ that he’d thought he’d long since trained himself out of. When he was younger and in trouble, he always used to give himself away as guilty by being overly expressive with his hands (and arms).

“So,” Logan said. He was still not able to stop the hand motions. “Virgil was an assassin. He came here to kill you last fall, but he accidently went to the wrong room in the royal wing. Patton and I were having a slumber party and caught him in the act. Then we reformed him and now he doesn’t kill people anymore.” He paused and glanced back, remembering the body that had just toppled off the cliff. “Er, uh, he doesn’t kill people who haven’t shot poisoned darts at people recently anymore?”

“What?”

“Look,” Logan said. “You’re going to have to tell him you’re not going to execute him soon. Patton can only keep him from bolting for so long.”

[ferrersbiggestfan]

Requested by: @reader1402

Dean Winchester x fem!reader

An: Thank you so much for requesting and following! I am so happy because you decided to give me a chance without me even posting yet! so thank you so much and i hope you enjoy :-) (For some effects, Dean is going to be 28 and the reader is gonna be 23, so pretty much Sam’s age)

Summary: You get jealous of Dean, he says some hurtful things but later on regrets it.

Warnings: A little angsty, some light fluff somewhere, annoyed reader

Word Count: Tbh? I lost count 😅 sorry!

Requests are Open!!

……………………………………………………………………………

One week earlier…

“Listen Dean, come on. I’m tired of having to fight in your shadow all the time.. Dear mother of Crowley! Bobby trained me, I have taken you AND Sam on and I’ve won. I got this. Its a simple salt and burn.” You say in hopes of softening this goddamn stubborn Winchester.

“Listen kid, I said no. That’s final.” He says firmly grabbing a slice of pie from the fridge. You scoff angrily strutting to your room. The bunker may be a little bit cold for a house but its home. You, Sam, Dean, all managed to actually make it cozy enough to be comfortable.

“SAAAAM, Deano is being an ass, per usual! and I’m not a kid! I’m only 5 years younger than you, Jerk!”. You scream at Dean slamming your door.

One week later..

That small but agitated fight was the start of a series. Everytime you bump into him its a goddamn fight and he won’t lose; you won’t either though so the fight continues.

“come on Dean, maybe she just feels a little left out, that’s all.” Sam says to Dean as he drives back to the bunker. Both of them in the Impala, just after a simple salt and burn in Wisconsin.

“She’s not ready yet, I’m not willing to let her or anyone else get hurt, much less for a hunt that we can do ourselves, Sammy. I can’t loser her too” Dean sighs as Sam looks at him knowing why he was being so hard on you. After a little bit they get to the bunker opening the door which was sealed and concealed with at least 20 sigils of protection.

They walk in as you greet them shyly. “Hey Dean.. so i found a case. It sounds like a ghost so I’d say its pretty easy and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me or of you’re not up for it I could go! You guys must be tired so i can get this one.” you say hopeful, wishing he would agree or even let you assist on the case.

The reason you won’t go alone is simply because you have no car, no fake id and minimal experience even though Bobby trained you, you were still pretty new to the game.

The next few events escalated pretty quickly.. Sam sits down groaning in annoyance. These type of fights were nothing short of new but he knew nor you or Dean would soon actually say or talk about the thing that its really important. You both might fight but he knows Dean would probably even hurt him if something happened to you. He was simply too protective but only because he’s in love with you, and you love him. Sammy has heard quite a few late night thoughts both from his brother and best friend but you and Dean are just too stubborn to admit anything to eachother.

“You are such an asshole Dean, seriously! I never get to do anything! you treat me like I’m some kind of kid all the goddamn time.” you scream pretty much exploding on him like never before.

“Acting this way won’t get you anywhere, KID.” He remarks his last words knowing it will only infuriate you more. You get all up on him even though he was much taller than you.

“First, I’m not a kid, Jerk. Second, I’m 23 goddam years old, i can do whatever i want.” You stomp your feet a little bit as he leans closer looking down at you a little bit intimidatingly. You look up at him as your mouth gapes a little in shock.

This was new for him. You blush a little bit but not backing down whatsoever.

“Go on.” He mutters at you as you shake your crazy thoughts. “I’m jealous Dean.. I want to do everything you and Sam do.. i mean you’re literal heroes. I want to be apart of this team and i know i will be a good asset.. please.” You say in a low tone looking at him, and vice versa.

“That’s nonsense Y/N, stop being stubborn and just do whatever you are meant to do which is stay here!”. he says quite harshly and loud as you gasp softly. “Dean!” Sam says shocked at his brothers words.

Your eyes water as you storm out of the room and going to yours and Sam follows you. A few minutes later you hear someone by the door. You sob quietly trying to be heard or scolded by Dean any more than he already does. Sam knocks on your door.

“Y/N? Can i come in?”. He says softly as you nod a little bit hugging your knees in bed.

He sits down besides you and sighs. “Listen, Dean means well, he just has a hard time expressing it.”

“I’m tired, Sammy.. all he does is put me down all the time..I love him Sammy and it hurts.. i just want to be like him and he won’t even give me a chance”. You mutter softly as he hugs you. “It’s gonna be okay.. I’m here”. He kisses your forehead as you nod gently hugging him back.

…

Dean was in the garage cleaning his guns, Sammy walks in as Dean looks up. “How is she?”

“Shaken up.” He says coldly as Dean scoffs. “You going to be mad too? what am I? the bad guy here? Come on, Sammy.”

“Come on what, Dean? You do this everytime she gets the courage to talk to you! I wouldn’t even be surprised if she left right now. She wants to be you Dean, she just wants your approval.” Sam sighs putting his hands in his front pant pockets.

“Not gonna happen.” Dean says cold as Sam scoffs and leaves.

Dean’s Pov:

Its been hours since the fight and its quiet. After Sammy came by I just went on about my day like usual but she hasn’t spoken to me all day..

Was I really that bad?

I stop by her bedroom’s door but regret it quite quickly and head to the kitchen to make some food.

Man, i must be the biggest Son of a Bitch of All. Why am I so scared of seeing her hurt? I’ve loved my share of woman but why is she so different? Why is it different? She’s annoying, a kid and.. she’s..perfect in every goddamn way. She bakes me pies everytime I get out of a bad hunt. She trains everyday but always waits for me to join. Hell, she even stays with me after a nightmare.

I love her and i treat her like hell everytime.. but its all to keep her safe, i would rather her hate me than something happens to her.

…

Dean heads to the room holding some flowers, he was kinda nervous since he knew he fucked up but he couldn’t take it anymore. It’s been 8 hours, 23 minutes and 27 seconds since you last spoke to him or even looked at him. It was killing him.

“Sweetheart? You in there? Can we talk?” He knocks softly on your door as you mumble a quiet come in. He walks in seeing you read on your bed. He walks to you and puts the flowers down.

“What do you want, Dean? I’m not really in the mood for your stupid remarks”. You spite out as he chuckles a bit at your reaction.

You frown. “You think this is a joke, don’t you? You always do this..” You scoff and stand up but he holds your wrist.

“Let me go Dean, i mean it”. You look at him as he stands up looking down at you.

“Can you just let me go I have to be somewhere around at-“. You were quickly cut off by his lips. He kisses you gently but passionately. You kiss back as the shock wears off and he holds your cheek gently. You both pull apart for a little bit as he smiles.

“I’m sorry for being a Dick.. I never meant to hurt your feelings. I don’t want to see you hurt even though I know you can probably kick my ass if you wanted to. The truth is.. I love you too much, i can’t.. I can’t lose you too Y/N”. He looks into your eyes as you gasp a little bit not expecting that at all. You quickly smile and kiss him again excitedly as he falls back into your bed.

“I love you too Jerk, I can’t believe it took you this long to figure it out. oh, and you’re forgiven but only if i get to drive Baby for the next three cases”. You say serious as he sighs and nods. “Its only fair, sweetheart”. He smiles and kisses you again.

……..……………………………………………………………………

That is the END, my Loves! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed my first imagine and I hope I did justice to your request.

[verai-marcel]

Your Hearth Is My Home (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x Female Reader, Part 24 of 28)

Summary, Notes, Tags, & Part 1 are here.

Act I - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Act II - Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17 | Part 18 | Part 19 | Part 20 | Part 21 | 

Act III - Part 22 | Part 23 | Part 24 | Part 25 | Part 26 | Part 27 (18+) | Part 28 (END)

AO3 Link is here, my sweet.

Word Count: 4,380

Act III, Chapter 3 - The Torment

The next morning started off like any other. However, you were surprised when Wyll, Karlach, and Jaheira came back in the late afternoon with a tall, muscular, and bald man with a small rodent on his shoulder. Karlach and Wyll were following the other two with expressions of awe.

I wonder if he’s an associate of Jaheira’s… that would explain why Karlach and Wyll are fawning so hard.

The man saw you and grinned broadly, waving cheerfully at you. Your seal pulsed strongly in return.

Who exactly is this man?

Coming up to the group, you smiled warmly. “Welcome back, everyone. Who’s our new friend?”

“I am Minsc!” Then he held out his hand for the little rodent to hop onto his palm and held him out to you. “And this is Boo, the mighty miniature giant space hamster.”

When the hamster looked at you, your seal pulsed again, sending heat waves through your blood. You looked back up at Minsc, and the power ebbed away.

What. No way. It was the hamster that is the powerful one here?

Boo chittered, and while everyone else was looking at the creature, you noticed that Minsc was listening intently as if he understood every little squeak.

“Oh, yes, of course,” he mumbled. Then he gingerly brought Boo back to his shoulder. “Boo is looking forward to sampling your fine dishes and to hear your singing. Karlach and Wyll have been praising your talents!”

You blinked. “Um, alright, I’ll do my best,” you said, directing your reply to the little hamster. Looking into its eyes, you suspected you saw understanding, and even more, satisfaction.

Welp, that was strange.

You learned from the others that the underground guild in the city and Jaheira had made a deal: she got help finding Minsc, and in exchange, they had chased the Zhentarim out of the city. You breathed a sigh of relief.

So I didn’t need to worry about them after all. Thank the gods. Or rather, thank Jaheira.

Karlach patted your back. “I’m relieved. One crime group is enough for this city, hah!”

You laughed, hiding your nerves. “Yup, good riddance.” And now they’ll never know.

Leading the others to the campfire, you served them some drinks and some snacks and listened to them regaling you with their adventure, which had taken them all across the city, even to the deepest bank vaults. They had even found Mol and a couple other tiefling children in the Guild, running their business, and doing quite well for themselves.

“Oh good, I’d like to go back to the other tiefling children and let them know Mol is safe,” you said.

“I can do it,” Karlach said with a smile. “I’m sure Wyll would want to see them again too.”

Wyll nodded, and you caught his soft look as he watched Karlach.

Oh ho, his love grows.

After their story, you rooted around through the pile of loot for any extra bedrolls or fabric to make a tent for the newcomer. Just as you had managed to find enough rags to weave together, you heard the alarm bells on your belt chime softly.

Turning toward the entrance, the others had arrived looking a bit worn out. As they joined the group at the campfire, Shadowheart relayed what had happened.

“We literally went to hell and back. But now Lae’zel has a way to free Orpheus.”

The githyanki nodded with a slight smirk. Oh, she’s quite pleased.

“And we may have a change of accommodations,” Gale said. “The Elfsong has an upper floor penthouse available if we wish to use it, for a discounted fee.”

“Are there enough beds for everyone?” you asked, sweeping your hand towards everyone, including Shadowheart’s parents, Isobel, and Aylin, who were hanging back, listening in.

“Plenty of beds,” Gale replied.

“And why the discount?” you questioned. Inns don’t give discounts unless…

“There might have been a murder on that floor, and that might be scaring off the guests.”

Everyone looked at Gale.

“Look, just because one person died there doesn’t mean we should stay out in the open for the remainder of our time here.”

After some thought, the group began to mumble agreement.

Wait. Then that means…

“So you won’t be needing me any further,” you quietly said.

All eyes turned to you.

“Well, of course we need you, darling.” Astarion walked up to you and patted your head. “You still have to feed me.” He gestured towards everyone else. “And these fools couldn’t clean worth a damn.”

You glanced at everyone else, who were mostly shrugging sheepishly.

“And who’s going to take care of the giant pile of souvenirs that Karlach and Astarion keep pilfering?” Wyll joked.

“Some of those are from you too!” Karlach shot back, lightly shoving Wyll, who only laughed.

“The point is, you’re part of the team,” Gale said softly. “We need you just as much as anyone else.”

You turned back to Astarion, who nodded and took your hand, holding it gently, his thumb rubbing circles over your knuckles. Leaning closer, he whispered in your ear, “Besides, you promised you would stay with me, didn’t you?”

You nodded.

“Good girl,” he murmured before pulling back. Turning to everyone else, he shot them all a triumphant grin. “So, shall we upgrade our accommodations?”

***

By the time you all had finished packing and moving everyone’s things out of the harbor and to the Elfsong, the sun had just dipped below the horizon. Yet the tavern was already loud and lively, full of music and drinkers. Gale went to the front desk and paid for the new lodgings, holding up a key triumphantly to everyone before leading the group upstairs.

“Probably best if I keep a low profile. They used to know me all too well in here,” Astarion muttered to you as he helped take the packs up the stairs, attempting to blend in with the others. You watched his back as he went up the stairs, walking closely to the floating disc as it hovered behind Gale. Your eyes wandered down the line of Astarion’s body, down his back, his hips, his—

Gods, what am I doing?

You shook your head and re-focused on the back of his head, but he had already caught you staring, as he looked back at you with a knowing smirk.

“Admire all you like, darling.”

You immediately looked away and huffed.

His sly grin stayed on his face throughout the rest of the unpacking.

***

Since you didn’t need to cast warming cantrips any longer, you could spend your time sorting the loot pile and going out to the market to sell whatever you could, and buying fresh groceries. You were actually excited to see what kind of fresh vegetables and herbs you could get, now that you were in a large city.

“You’re sounding happy,” Shadowheart said as she approached, kneeling down next to you while you polished some of the tarnished jewelry with a rag.

You stopped humming and smiled up at her. “Well, I can finally catch up on some inventory management,” you said, pointing at the rather large pile of knick knacks and herbs. “You lot seem to have sticky fingers.”

“It’s how I grew up,” Karlach said as she joined the two of you, sitting cross legged on the other side of you. “Take everything of value and sort it out later for pocket change.”

You nodded. “That’s fair. I just haven’t had much of a chance to go through it all lately, and it seems like everyday you come back with more.”

Gale suddenly came up and tapped Shadowheart’s shoulder. With one look, her eyebrows furrowed and she got up. 

“We’re going to plan our next trip into the Undercity. We’ll probably need to split up if we want to stop the murders and find where Orin is hiding.”

You nodded and watched as everyone gathered around the table in the main sitting room on the upper level. Remaining in the lower area near the fireplace, you continued to sort through everything, catching bits and pieces of their conversation.

“...have to find where the Bhaalspawn…”

“...Orin’s base might be…”

You finished sorting what you could, and pulled together all the random coins you had found. There was a significant amount, so you didn’t feel bad about ordering room service tonight.

“I’m going downstairs to order us a meal to be brought up, are there any requests?”

***

As you came downstairs with a long piece of paper full of meal requests, you ran into a familiar face.

“Lakrissa!” you said with a bright smile.

She called your name excitedly and gave you a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“We got a room upstairs, at a discounted rate.”

“Oh, the murder room. Well, I suppose that wouldn’t bother your group much, would it?”

You laughed. “Nope, not after what they’ve seen. Oh, I need to put their supper order in.”

Lakrissa smiled and took your order for you, telling you to wait by the stairs for her while she gave it to the kitchen. When she returned, she gave you a wide grin.

“Follow me,” she said quietly as she nodded toward the back staircase. 

She snuck you up to the rooftop, where you heard a soft lute and a familiar voice.

You smiled, afraid to stop Alfira’s singing. She was swaying softly to her song, her back to you and Lakrissa, the gibbous moon shining brightly above her head. The two of you enjoyed her song until the end, applauding her just as she turned around.

The bard smiled, pleasantly surprised to see you. You hugged, and the three of you caught up on each other’s lives since the Last Light Inn.

“Would you join me for a song?” Alfira asked. “If you have time, that is.”

You turned to Lakrissa. She nodded. “You’ll have time. With the amount of orders you put in, you could sing out here for a half hour and it wouldn’t be done.”

The two of you figured out a song you both knew, and while she played and sang harmony, you took the lead, letting your voice carry on the rooftop, and letting the tingling feeling on your spine travel through your body, through your lungs, through your throat. You felt almost as if you could layer your voice if you pushed your power through yourself hard enough.

On the last lyric, you let your vibrato go longer and harder than you ever had, leaving just enough breath to end the song on a delicate sigh.

A raucous applause startled you, and you turned to see all of your companions standing behind Lakrissa, who was wearing a sly grin.

“You cheeky woman!” Alfira said to her as Lakrissa came up and placed her hand on the small of her back.

You were distracted from their cute banter by everyone else’s compliments. You shyly bowed.

“Boo says that was a most wonderful performance, rivaling the great opera singers from Waterdeep!”

You flinched involuntarily at the mention of Waterdeep, but you acted as if you didn’t. “You’re too kind,” you said with a smile. 

Lakrissa tapped your shoulder. “I can go check if your food is ready, but would you all want to eat up here? It’s a beautiful moonlit night!”

You turned to everyone else, who seemed to be enjoying themselves, catching up with Alfira and admiring the view.

“That sounds lovely.”

As she went downstairs, you spotted some tables and chairs scattered around the rooftop and had an idea. You took a deep breath and began to hum, walking to the furniture and tapping them lightly. As if they suddenly gained sentience, they hopped and began to follow you, arranging themselves into a nice group formation.

Everyone had gone silent, watching you work. You paid them no mind, singing a song about faerie lights, touching the leaves and vines around the area, making them glow orange and pink and purple. Lost in the sensation of the magic and the music flowing through your body, you spun around and swayed your arms, letting the lights glow brighter as your power pulsed against your skin.

Suddenly Astarion was standing next to you, his hand on the small of your back, pressing on your seal. He kissed your cheek and pulled you close, interrupting your song.

“I couldn’t help myself darling,” he said a bit too loudly as he dragged you away from everyone else. Karlach tried to peek, but Shadowheart shooed her and the other onlookers back to the tables to wait for their food.

Away from the crowd, Astarion whispered into your ear. “Your seal was glowing brightly through your clothes.” His hand pressed harder against your back. “Be careful.”

You looked up at him, surprised at his look of concern. “Oh. Thank you,” you murmured. It didn’t feel like burning this time, though. It felt… powerful. 

He guided you back to the tables just in time for Lakrissa and another worker to bring the trays of food for everyone. Using your party as an excuse, she stayed behind and ate with you, along with Alfira, who entertained you all with music through the rest of dinner.

It was a wonderful evening, and you treasured it.

***

The next morning, the others left, but came back within an hour to talk to Dame Aylin. You overheard something about a tower and a wizard who had put a price on her head, and she immediately charged out the doors. Isobel followed the group out to follow her.

You turned to Shadowheart’s parents. “Erm, well, I was about to go out and get groceries. I should be back soon.”

They nodded and told you that they would let the others know if they came back before you did.

Out in the city, you felt relatively safe, anonymous in the large crowds. You walked over to a jeweler and bartered away some of the found gems and trinkets for a great price, adding to your coin pouch. Heading down to the marketplace, you managed to get an excellent cut of venison from the butcher and some fresh herbs and vegetables. Holding the bag in your arms, you headed back to the Elfsong.

Halfway there, your seal pulsed. You immediately looked around.

A man, with a patch over his eye and a large sword at his side, scratched his arm, his sleeve lifting up to reveal a tattoo of a legless dragon in flight. It was a tattoo you recognized with ease.

A Zhent!

You quickly began to walk away, turning a corner beyond the Elfsong, unwilling to make the mistake of leading someone straight to your home base. Instead, you walked through the graveyard, then past the tombmaker’s shop. Just as you were rounding the corner to make a loop back home, you heard a familiar voice calling your name.

Turning around, you were met with Gale, smiling and waving his hand to you.

“Can you follow me for a moment? I have something to show you,” he said, gesturing for you to follow.

Your seal pulsed with a stinging heat.

“Um, let me put these groceries away first.”

“We haven’t the time,” he insisted, coming closer to you.

Gale would have offered to carry my groceries for me by now. This isn’t him! 

Without another word, you turned to run.

The doppelganger grabbed the collar of your shirt and pulled hard, choking you. Dropping your bag of groceries, you pulled at your collar, trying to get some air, but they were strong. One arm wrapped around your mouth.

“You’ve got wits, but no power. Pity,” a woman’s voice hissed in your ear.

You felt a sharp pain to your temple, and then you felt nothing at all as everything went black.

***

Astarion and the others returned to their room in the Elfsong, ready for a long rest. Upon entering the room, however, he smelled something distinctly… vile.

“Welcome back,” said the creature posing as his hearth witch. Though she looked like her, she definitely didn’t sound like her. The soothing warm tone of her voice could not be replicated by any other.

“You’re not her.” Astarion glared at the shapeshifter, disgusted that she would take the form of his beloved.

Orin pouted. “How could you tell so quickly?”

“I could smell your stench a mile away.”

Everyone looked on in horror as a crazed, maniacal grin grew on their hearth witch’s face. And when she twisted back to her usual form, everyone felt a fear and anger that they could not swallow down.

“If you want your precious friend, then kill Gortash for me and bring me his netherstone.” She disappeared in a burst of pink petals, her insane laughter bleeding away.

Astarion could barely contain his rage. “We don’t have time, we have to find her now,” he snarled.

The others agreed. 

“Don’t worry Astarion, we’ll find her,” Wyll said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Orin won’t get away with this.”

He nodded as he tried to keep a level head. But it was so, so hard.

If Orin touches her… she’ll feel her madness. She’ll feel everything.

***

You woke up to a world of pain, your entire body feeling as if it was on fire. You shifted and gasped in agony.

Then your memories of the last 24 hours returned, and you nearly vomited. You had so, so many cuts across your body. Your clothes had been sliced to shreds, and your skin along with it.

The crazed cackle of your captor drew your attention. Orin licked her knife with glee. “Your blood is the sweetest,” she murmured. 

And then she wrapped her hand around your neck. You let out a hoarse cry of agony as her madness seeped into you. No amount of mental guarding could keep out the intensity of her insanity.

c̵̝̽u̵̩͌t̵͇͛ ̷̗̕c̵͉͌ṵ̵͝t̴̝̓ ̵̫͋m̸͙̚a̶̧̾i̴͈͋m̴̱̀ ̷̳̔m̸͇͛a̸̢͝i̸̗͗m̴͎͝ ̴̡̒m̷͍̈́ṵ̶͗r̵̝̾d̷̜̄e̸̤͋r̵̹͝ ̷̮̓m̸̳̊ủ̵͚r̸̖͑d̷͈̿e̴̞̐r̸̻͋k̶̜̋i̷̪͊l̶̝̔l̸͚̀k̴̫̃i̶͈̓l̴͇̀ĺ̶͙K̴͉̍Ȋ̶͜L̸͈͛L̵̫͌ ̴̢̀K̸̯̈I̸͍̿L̸̘̍Ľ̶̪ ̶̘̈K̴͇͘I̴̬͐L̶͚̀L̶̤̓—̸̟̀ ̵͉̏

You squeezed your eyes shut to drown out the voices in your head.

“Who knew you would be so sensitive to just my mere touch! Such a delight to torture.”

You could barely hear her words beyond the pounding of blood in your ears. Is this what she constantly felt? Wave after wave of darkness, followed by an alternating current of rage, a frenzied, frenetic need to hurt, to kill. 

It was so dissonant from your usual emotions that you were having a physical reaction. Your blood pumped harder, spilling more from your wounds. You were weakening, your limbs feeling heavier with each passing moment.

“Let go of me!” you cried, your hands wet with your blood as you tugged weakly at Orin's arm. 

She only laughed. “Why should I? Your agony is the sweetest candy on my tongue.” Grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully, she brought the inside of your arm to her mouth. While she stared at you with her crazed glare, she licked your blood, savoring it, smearing it all over her lips. 

“No!” You shrieked, trying to jerk your arm away. It was a useless endeavor; she was far stronger than you could ever be. “That blood is not for you!” 

You tugged harder, the blood making your skin slippery. Her grip tightened until you felt your bones begin to yield, the pain making you keen. 

“You make the most lovely sounds when in pain,” she murmured, letting go of your wrist and your throat. Placing the tip of her knife at your collarbone, she grinned maniacally. The sharp tip pierced your skin, the slow, burning sting making you whimper in pain. 

“Let me hear you sing in agony once more—“

“My lady!” 

Orin immediately grabbed the servant by the throat. “How. Dare. You. Interrupt me!” 

“There…. are… intruders…” the servant gurgled.

You looked up, grateful for any distraction that kept Orin’s knife away from your collarbone. In the distance, you could see your companions as they charged down the stairs. A sense of relief flooded you. 

Your friends. They were here. Thank the gods. 

All of the stress and the injuries suddenly overwhelmed you, and your vision blurred. Did Orin just transform into a beastly creature? The party threw themselves into the fray, fighting off the other cultists while Karlach and Lae'zel focused on Orin. 

The last thing you saw was Astarion rushing past the beast towards you, calling out your name. 

***

It had been a hell of a battle, and Astarion barely remembered it. Once he had secured his beloved in a safe corner, he had lashed out, stabbing Orin until she screamed in agony. Then he sprinted back, picked up his little hearth witch in his arms and brought her to Shadowheart, who immediately healed her wounds. Her clothes were shredded to tatters, and even after her wounds had closed, she was still out cold.

“She may be mentally overwhelmed,” Shadowheart said.

He only nodded before setting off at a hurried pace to get back to the Elfsong, cradling her closely.

After they got out of the Undercity, she finally spoke to him again. “I'm surprised by how far you've come, Astarion. I didn't think you'd ever care so deeply about anyone.”

“I didn’t think so either,” he replied carefully. “But she managed to weasel her way in.”

“It's funny how the little things do so much. A warm meal, a soft touch, a gentle smile. She's brought us all out of our shells, made us feel safe.”

“Yes…” He looked down at his love. “She feels like home.”

Shadowheart didn’t miss the softness in his eyes as he spoke, gazing at his witch.

***

“Seems strange, doesn't it?” Shadowheart mused while she sat with the other around the communal table, snacking on some cheese. 

“Well, they're lovers now, right? I wouldn't let anyone touch you either.”

Shadowheart frowned, even though she felt a bit tickled by Gale's protective comment. “That's fair. But he barely let me finish healing her before snatching her away.”

Gale shrugged. “Some people go a little crazy when they fall in love. I certainly don't blame him for acting this way. She's been kidnapped twice now, right under our noses.”

Nodding, Shadowheart grew quiet for a moment. “What do you think he meant when he said her skin was sensitive?”

Karlach suddenly lifted her head. “I asked her about why she wore gloves all the time and she said it was a secret. Maybe she just has super sensitive skin!” 

The others just accepted that conclusion and moved on to other topics, but Shadowheart kept chewing on the thought.

What if…?

***

You regained consciousness as Astarion was lifting you in his arms. You felt his worry for you through your bare skin before you realized that he had taken his shirt off, and you were fully naked.

“What’s going on?” you mumbled.

“We rescued you,” he answered, his voice soft. “And now I’m giving you a bath. You’re covered in blood.”

“Oh.”

Astarion slowly lowered you into the tub, the water immediately turning red as the dried blood on your skin was washed away. The warmth was soothing against your freshly healed body and you started to relax. But the moment Astarion let go of you, the pain from before came rolling back. When Orin had held you down, her madness had borne down on you, unrelenting, and it returned now in ripples of mania.

You struggled to stay alert, but you could feel your mind slowly dissociating. Your consciousness faded as you battled the memories. 

b̸̫̅͆ͅl̴̛̼̳̎ǒ̶̭́͜o̵̢̔ḋ̵̘̈́ ̷̢̬͌͘b̸̮͖̔l̸̙̬͘o̷͕̩̿̊o̸̬��d̶̛͉ ̷̙̰̔c̷̢̩̈́ų̵̰͝t̶̖̲͆̿ ̷̭̬͝c̴̬̙̃u̴̱͋́t̶͆̆ͅ

“Darling?” 

s̷̖̍l̵͕͋i̵̗͒̾c̴̻̫̔̀ē̶̝ ̴͉͝͝s̵̝̋̅l̸̠̏́i̴̳̚c̷͚̎̒e̸̜̜̒ ̵̹͂̎ͅh̵̤̋̐ư̶̥͌r̵̖͚̆t̶̡̬̋ ̸̤͓̌h̵̗͑̓ų̵̙̾͊r̸͖̍̀t̶̼̎͘ ̸̙̐̍m̷͈͝a̷̘͎͗̊i̵̩̦̊̌m̷̳̗̿̈ ̵̞̂m̶͚͍͒͠a̵̠͚̚i̴̭͋̏m̶̹͖͊̓

Suddenly your mind went blank as Astarion pulled you out of the tub and into his embrace. You wanted to chide him about getting his pants dirty with the bloody water, that you were naked, that this was wholly inappropriate… 

But when you felt the overwhelming feeling of love and protection around you, it silenced everything else. The echoes of Orin's insanity, the screams of your own mental state, everything. 

All you felt was Astarion's love for you, and it brought you back to the present. 

And you cried. 

“I've got you, my sweet. I've got you,” he murmured as you shook uncontrollably.

“I hate this!” you cried. “I…I'm weak. I'm helpless. I didn't… I didn't want to be a burden!”

Astarion hushed you gently, nuzzling your cheek with the tip of his nose. “What's that irritating thing that Gale always says about burdens?”

It took you a moment to remember. “A burden shared is a burden halved?” 

“Yes. That.” He guided your chin up to look at him. “We both have our share of burdens. I accept yours, just as you accepted mine.”

“So you can say nice things,” you teased through your tears. “You won't abandon me?” you asked quietly. 

“You're the heart I thought I had lost,” he quietly confessed. “So don't even think for a moment that I'd ever let you go.” He held you tighter. “You're mine, burdens and all.”

He coaxed you back into the tub, and kept at least one hand on your skin as he helped you get clean. While you knew you were healed, you sometimes saw the cuts that Orin had inflicted as an afterimage on your skin. You had to shake your head and force the vision away from your mind.

While you were fighting the demons in your head, Astarion bathed you, dried you off, and took you to bed, wrapping you up in his arms, against his bare chest. 

“Will you be alright?” he asked softly, his gaze full of concern.

You took a deep breath. Would you? Orin did a hell of a number on you. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced, and you had seen some strange things in Waterdeep. Hells, you had faced a vampire lord and survived.

And yet…

“I’ll be alright,” you finally said.

He raised an eyebrow.

“I really will,” you insisted. “It may take some time, but you’ll be here to help, won’t you?”

His eyes softened. “Of course, darling.”

It wasn’t until you were mostly asleep that you realized that you were still naked, skin against skin with Astarion.

And yet, it was the most comfortable you had ever been with him, his arms wrapped protectively around you.

---------------------------

Act III, Chapter 3 End notes: Sorry for the lateness, had to work double digit hours every day this week at work, but finally got some time to edit and post this chapter! I’m really leaning into that hurt/comfort trope here and I regret nothing. But I think this will be about as much as I can write in terms of injuries, because honestly, our dear little witch needs to catch a break.

Also a bit of behind the scenes here: I absolutely killed that Zhentarim plotline, because it wasn’t working for me and it does get conveniently taken care of by Jaheira in the game. And I was thinking that HW was being a bit paranoid; she hasn’t seen a Zhent in years since the last time she was in the Gate. Also, the masked lord has basically forgotten about her, but she doesn’t know that.

Please leave me a comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter!

Tags List: @numblytemporary @xalphafox @avitute @stormyjane7 @kmoon21

[prettyinlimegreenboots]

Taking Comfort (In Your Arms) - Chapter 17

April 28, 1945, 1000 Hours

“Captain Baker, please join us.” Jeffrey called from his office as Addie’s eyes drifted from the report she was typing up. Sighing, she pushed away from her desk, giving Josie a nervous look before walking into the CO’s office.

Stepping into the office, Jeffrey motioned to her to shut the door, pointing to a seat in front of his desk. She looked between Buck, Rosie, and Charlie, all who had big grins on their faces before looking at Jeffrey taking a seat. “Whatever they said I did, I most definitely did not do.” 

Buck, Rosie, and Charlie had to hide their chuckles, while Jeffrey merely raised an eyebrow. “Guilty are we, Captain Baker?” 

“With those three grinning at you, yes. I have been keeping my nose clean for the last few weeks.” She looked over her shoulder at the three, giving them a menacing look. “Whatever this is about, I assure you I’m innocent. It must’ve been the ground crew.” 

Jeffrey chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re not in trouble, Addie. Though I assume there’s something that I’m not aware of yet.” 

“So, what did you want to see me about, sir?” She asked, trying to stop herself from digging a hole. She heard the three men behind her chuckle. Since Buck’s return to base, the jokes had returned and picked up. Though Addie had steered clear of getting herself into any prank wars, she might have been the brains behind some of them. 

Jeffrey looked between the four pilots, wishing he was away from the antics, clearing his throat, wanting to get down to business. “The Allied forces have put out two calls for different missions - one will be a humanitarian food drop for the Dutch while the other is ferrying POW men and women to different bases. Now I’m nominating you four for the missions, but I thought I would see if any of you have a preference on which mission I sign you up for.” 

“When are these missions slated to take place?” Rosie asked, looking between Addie and Jeffrey. Addie bit her lip, attempting to figure out what questions she needed answered before she decided which mission she wanted on.

“May 1 will be the first one for both. The RAF starts their drops tomorrow and we’ll drop on May 1 - we’ll be hitting different areas than the RAF groups. The POW camps have started to be liberated so we’ll have a list of where to go, most likely Germany to start.” Jeffrey explained. 

Addie shifted in her chair. “What will we be flying into Germany?” 

“Lemmons and his crew are currently stripping down a B-17, big enough to fit 25-30 POWs. You might be running two to three missions before you land back here. I’ll get more details in the coming days, but I’ve gotten word there could be more than 4500 people in just one stalag. Allies aren’t sure what you’re going to be walking into.” Jeffrey gave the four of them looks. “Now, are there any other questions?” 

Addie shook her head. She didn’t dare get up hope that John and Elizabeth could be at one that they were planning on landing at. She bit her lip as she looked at the men behind her. “Sir, I’d like to be on the rescue mission.” 

Jeffrey nodded. He knew she would want on that mission. “Charlie, are you okay going with her?” 

“Yes, sir.” Charlie parroted back, while Addie grinned at her big brother. “Is there anything else we need to know before we take off?”

“We’ll do a debriefing in two days, by then I should have more information.” Jeffrey looked between the siblings. “One other thing, you’ll have to fly below 10,000 feet due to not fitting the plane with oxygen tanks. We don’t have the room for them.” 

Charlie and Addie both nodded. “Yes, sir.” 

“One more thing, the rescue mission is highly confidential - no one on this base outside of us five know this is happening. Of course, our infirmary will be ready for any wounded, but not a word of this until that plane touches down on May 1st.” Jeffrey eyed them, seriousness in his eyes as they came to attention and saluted him. “Alright, dismissed.” 

Leaving the office, Addie’s eyes went wide as she took a seat at her desk. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly. 

She couldn’t believe what she had been waiting for could finally become a reality. John and Elizabeth could finally be coming home.

May 1, 1945, 0500 Hours

Throwing her bag into the stripped-out B-17, she made her way up into the belly of the plane, taking a moment to see just how empty the back of the bird was. There were stacks of extra blankets in the middle of the plane but other than that, the space was empty. Knocking her knuckles along the tin side, she made her way to the yolk. Grinning, she hopped up, seeing Charlie in the co-pilot seat. 

“Morning!” She smirked, watching him jump as she collapsed into the pilot’s seat. “You saved my seat!” 

Charlie grinned at her. “Didn’t feel like fighting you this morning. That 0330 wakeup call came earlier than anticipated.” 

“Get fired up, Charlie. We’re going to rescue some people today.” 

Charlie grumbled to himself, something about there’s not enough coffee, making Addie giggle. 

Fighting off a yawn, she started her pre-flight checklist. Soon the engines were turned on and they were taxiing down the tarmac. “You know we are getting the raw end of the first part of the deal?” 

“How so?” She asked, ferrying down before they were airborne, pushing the bird through the low-hanging clouds. The still dark sky made her smile. 

Charlie brought the landing gear up, before looking over at her. “Buck and Rosie didn’t have a 0330 wakeup call like we did. Their wake-up call was happening at 0800 hours.” 

“Awww, does Charlie need his beauty sleep?” She teased, adjusting their airspeed. “Besides, they’re going to be making more runs than we will - they’ve got two runs today. I’ll take the longer run and the earlier start time.” 

Charlie shook his head. “You’re just happy you got to be in the yolk today.” 

“Damn right, Charlie.” She adjusted in the seat, knowing they had another 3 hours of flight before they would land in Munich Germany. 

They were told that these POWs were transported from Poland to Munich days before. Allied Forces had gotten them out of the Stalag, brought to a processing center, where they were triaged and grouped, depending on the base they needed to get back to. Those that were more seriously injured were already sent to English hospitals. Those that remained just had to wait for planes to come pick them up. Addie couldn’t imagine the anticipation they had - they had survived the most awful thing, and all those men and women were told just to wait a bit longer.

She didn’t know if it was anticipation or wishing time would go by faster that made the three hours pass by more quickly than she realized. But soon, Charlie was radioing the base’s tower for landing instructions. 

She groaned hearing the distance of the tarmac and how tight of a landing it was going to be. She had done worse but not since her ATA days. Charlie followed her instructions and soon enough they were on the ground, pulling onto the designated hardstand. 

Shutting the engines off, Charlie made the first move to exit the plane, with her right behind him. Swinging out of the plane, landing softly, he looked up at her still in the plane. “Do you remember the name Jeffrey gave us to give?” 

Slipping out of the plane, she reached for her little notebook. Flipping it open, Addie shielded her eyes from the sunshine. “Colonel Owens?” 

Nodding, Charlie looked around the little airfield, with people seemingly taking up every square inch. “I’m going to see if I can track him down.”

Following behind him, she heard various accents as they passed groups of men. There had to be hundreds, if not thousands of men across the vast space. She kept her head swiveling as she attempted to keep up with Charlie for anyone that she may know. 

Charlie came to a stop, standing at attention before introducing herself and him to the Major. “Major Charlie Baker, and Captain Adelaide Baker, sir. We’re with the 8th Bomb Group - Colonel Jeffrey sent us.” 

“Ahh, yes, Jeffrey.” Colonel Owen gave them both looks, shaking Charlie’s outstretched hand. “8th Bomb Group you say?” 

Addie tuned them out as she looked around the space. Worn out faces stared back at her. She tried to keep a smile on her face but found it hard at what she was witnessing. “Addie?” 

Charlie softly called her name as she whirled around to face him. “Sorry, caught up in my thoughts.” 

“No problem, ma’am.” Colonel Owens gave her a curious look, holding out his hand for her to shake. “Just asked what’s a woman like you doing out here?” 

A bright smile crossed her face, eagerly shaking his hand. “Want to do my part to bring our boys home, sir.” 

“I see.” He looked at her suspiciously. “Well, let me get your flight manifest, then you can get on your way.”

Charlie motioned that he would follow the Colonel, leaving her alone. She pushed herself to move forward. She had to at least look, though it would take her hours to look at every man and woman within the space. 

Seeing men on stretchers, she headed that way. Carefully making her way up and down the makeshift aisle, she was glad when she didn’t recognize anyone. Turning, she started to make her way back towards where she left Charlie. But before she could make her way back there, something barreled into her. She fought to get her balance, wrapping an arm around whatever it was that barreled into her.

Addie couldn’t see anything. A body clung to her, tears streaming down their face as Addie looked. Once the face pulled back, Addie instantly recognized the eyes, causing tears to well up in her own eyes as she hugged the person. “Oh, tell me you’re not a mirage.” 

“Elizabeth!” Addie tightened her hold on her sister, as Elizabeth’s arms tightened slightly. “Oh, you’re okay!”

The two sisters stood, hugging one another, not saying a word, relishing in the fact they both made it. Elizabeth was alive and okay. She was safe and sound, and Addie wasn’t letting her go anytime soon. “Oh, it’s so good to see you, Elizabeth. How are you?”

“Much better than most of the men here! Who came with you?” Elizabeth asked, pulling back to stand beside Addie. 

Addie grinned, reaching down to link her hand with Elizabeth’s, giving it a squeeze. “He’s with Colonel Owens, getting our flight manifest for the trip back.” 

“Addie, I have to tell you something.” Elizabeth’s eyes scanned the area, before landing on her sister’s. “Buck . . . Buck escaped back when we were still doing night marches. Him and two others made it out but I don’t know where he ended up.” 

Hugging her sister to her tightly, Addie carted a hand through her hair. “Buck’s okay. He’s doing a humanitarian run today. He made it back to Thorpe April 2nd. He’s okay, I promise.” 

Elizabeth’s shoulders sagged in relief at the news. “That’s good to hear. There’s something else you should know. I don’t know where John is. I haven’t seen him since we left the stalag. As a nurse, I left earlier than he did once the Americans came to liberate us. I haven’t seen any of the boys in the five days I’ve been here.” 

Addie could see the anguish on her sister’s face as the prospect of not keeping her promise of watching out for John, making sure he got home safe and sound. Tears streamed down Elizabeth’s face as she looked up at her sister. “I’m so sorry, Addie.”

“Hey, hey, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Addie cooed, pulling her sister into her arms. “God, Elizabeth, John and I will be reunited at some point but right now, you’re here with me, safe and sound. I can’t ask for anything more - you’re here, back by my side, safe.” 

Pulling back, Elizabeth wiped the tears from her face as Addie scanned the area. She knew Charlie would be coming back any time and she wanted to make sure she saw him in the mayhem of the place. “You said you’ve been here for 5 days. How many planes have been coming and going?” 

“I think the first land at 1000 hours and the last at 1800 hours. It’s nonstop - they’re trying to get everyone out of here and back at a base before sending them home.” Elizabeth sighed. “The guys I flew out with have already been sent back to England - they wouldn’t send me back as I’m an American and had to wait for my own forces to bring me home.” 

Addie smiled. “Well, I think I can make room on my plane for you. I think I can get my co-pilot to agree.” 

“Speaking of who is this grand co-pilot of yours?” Elizabeth asked as a man caught Addie’s attention. 

Turning her sister towards the hut Charlie was coming out of, she pointed. “Recognize him?” 

Before Addie could say another word, Elizabeth had gasped, and the tears started flowing all over again. “He’s back?” 

“Yeah, he got transferred back to Thorpe just before you were captured. He’s teaching at Thorpe and the only missions he’s gone up have been with me - two now.” She grinned, watching Charlie make his way towards them, reading the papers in his hand. As he looked up, he scanned the area looking for her. Addie pushed Elizabeth forward, motioning her to go surprise their brother. 

Addie stood there as Elizabeth walked up to Charlie and watched her two siblings reunited with hugs, laughter, and tears. She let them have their moment, crossing her arms, biting her lip to ward off another round of tears. 

Sniffling, she reached up and wiped away a few stray tears. Hearing a plane fly overhead, she looked up, shielding her eyes from the sunshine as she watched the P-51 fly effortlessly across the sky. A grin crossed her face as she felt herself relax a bit. Despite the emotions, she was happy to have her brother and sister both by her side.

“ADDIE!” 

She whipped her head from left to right trying to figure out who called her. She didn’t recognize the voice until she saw the man a few feet away from her. A smirk crossed her face as she crossed the distance between them. “DeMarco!” 

Throwing herself into his arms, she squealed when he picked her up and swung her around. As her feet touched the ground, he pulled her into a tight hug. “Addie Baker, as I live and breathe. It’s so good to see you.” 

“You as well, Benny! How are you doing?” She looked him over, head to toe. Besides being a bit skinnier and a new cut on his face, he looked well. 

Laughing, Benny shook his head. “Cannot complain. Heard from a little birdy you’re flying us home.” 

“Charlie is holding the manifest list hostage so I don’t know exactly who I’m flying home but I’m sure I can make space for you, if you’re not on the list.” She grinned. 

Benny threw his head back and laughed. “Appreciate that, Addie. How’s your dog doing?” 

“Meatball? Last I checked, he’s your dog. I was just keeping an eye on him.” She deadpanned, giving him a look. 

Shaking his head, Benny smiled. “Nope, he’s yours. He won’t even recognize me at this point - you take him home. He’s your dog, Addie.” 

“Agree to disagree; at least for a little bit longer.” She said, holding out his hand for her to shake. “We’ll see how he reacts when you come back.” 

Benny gave her a look. “I already discussed it with Egan. You two are taking him home with you when you go back to the states.” 

“You discussed this with John?” She asked, eyes wide with amusement. “Wasn’t there anything else better to discuss?” 

Benny chuckled. “There were days all we did was talk. You’d be surprised by what was discussed.” 

“Benny, don’t you remember the rules? What was discussed in the Stalag, stayed in the Stalag.” A teasing voice called as Addie squinted to see who was teasing her friend. 

Gasping, Addie squealed a bit, spotting Murphy, Crank, Brady and two other men she didn’t recognize coming closer to where her and Benny stood.  She eagerly gave them all hugs, letting them know it was good to see them. 

“Since these dodos don’t know how to introduce us, I’m Captain Adelaide Baker, formerly of the ATAs. You can call me Addie.” Addie held out her hand, introducing herself. 

“Second Lieutenant Alexander Jefferson, you can call me Alex.” He held his hand out for Addie to shake. 

She accepted it with a big grin. “It’s very nice to meet you, Alex.” 

Looking over his shoulder, she grinned at the other man standing there. “Second Lieutenant Richard Macon.” 

Addie shook his hand as the two men looked between Addie and the others around them. “Wait, is this Bucky’s Addie?” 

“In the flesh. I’m guessing that bigger dodo didn’t stop talking about me, did he? Or did you learn a lot about me from Elizabeth?” Addie looked at the two men curious. 

Richard laughed. “Between the two of them along with the rest of the men in the barracks, we heard plenty about you.” 

“Bunch of little hens - don’t know when you keep your mouths shut.” Addie mocking glared at all the men around her. “I’m guessing they told you all the secrets. For that, I apologize.” 

“Hey, we kept you in good light, Addie.” DeMarco huffed, giving her a look. 

Raising an eyebrow, Addie returned his look. DeMarco soon deflated, sighing. “Damnit Addie, there were a lot of downtimes in the barracks so storytelling was the only way to kill time.” 

Groaning softly, Addie shook her head. Turning to Alex and Richard, she grinned. “Do I want to know which of the stories they told you made you all laugh the hardest?” 

“The box you gave Douglass of course.” Alex chuckled, scratching his chin. “Bucky’s retelling might have made the entire barrack laugh pretty loudly that the Germans came and shut off the lights.” 

Addie smiled. Despite the storytelling, she was happy they were able to have some levity within the barracks. Laughter was a powerful tool and she was happy everyone seemed to hold onto it. 

She relaxed as she eyed at each of the men in their little circle. Despite the hell they had been through, they were smiling and relaxed in the moment. Raising an eyebrow, she looked at Brady, who seemed to shrink under her gaze. “Guilty about something, Brady?” 

“No, no Addie.” He stammered as he avoided her gaze, by looking behind her where Charlie and Elizabeth were standing, talking. “Glad to see your sister, Addie?” 

“I am. It’s good to see you all made it.” She crossed her arms, looking at Brady carefully. “Brady, a little birdy told me that there may be something going on between you and my sister - care to clue me in?” 

Brady sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Did this information come from a letter or a big bird named Buck?” 

“Possibly both of those sources.” She replied gently, giving him a smile. 

“Buck made it?” DeMarco exclaimed, giving Addie a look, reaching out to slug her arm. “Why didn’t you lead with that?”

She looked at them with a guilty look on her face. “Sorry, forgot you all don’t know that. Yes, Buck made it out alive. He arrived in Paris on April 1st, and I went to pick him up to bring him back to Thorpe on April 2nd.”

“You picked him up?” Elizabeth cried as she and Charlie joined the group. 

Nodding, Addie smirked. “It was my second mission since you went down. The Air Force reluctantly let me fly a couple of times.” 

“I expect a full rundown of everything that you did while we were in the Stalag.” Elizabeth gave her a knowing look, which Addie winked at. 

“I’ll tell you all about it.” She promised, turning to her big brother. “Were we given a wheel up time?” 

Charlie flipped through the papers, nodding. “They want us up within the hour. We have our manifest and they were going to start guiding people towards our bird. We should probably start to head over there.” 

Charlie started to lead the group back to their plane. Addie sighed, following them. She knew it was a long shot to find John amongst the hundreds of men. She shouldn’t have gotten her hopes up. And now, she was potentially going to leave him behind. But she had friends and family surrounding her as she started to make her way back to the plane. 

Taking a deep breath, she pushed the tears away, willing herself to be brave until she was on the plane. She would let Charlie be the pilot on the way back. Only when they were airborne, she promised herself that she would let herself feel the anger and let down of not finding the one person she was so desperate to see. 

One foot in front of the other was her mantra as she made her way closer to the plane. She listened to her boots hit the ground, one after another. The rhythm pattern grounded herself as the voices of men around her pushed her forward. 

“Addie Baker.” 

Looking over her shoulder, she could have sworn she heard her name being called but not seeing anyone there. She shook her head, she was hearing things. She just needed to close the distance between her and the plane. The early morning and the adrenaline easing were catching up to her. 

“Adelaide Baker.” 

Again, she thought she heard someone calling her name. Looking in front of her, she watched DeMarco, Murphy, Alex, Richard, Brady, Crank, and Elizabeth follow Charlie up into the plane. There was a line at the plane of other men that were being helped up inside. She watched the line, scanning the faces of the men to see if she recognized any. 

Shaking off the delusion of hearing her name, she took a step forward, only for something to make her pause. “ADELAIDE BAKER.” 

This time she wasn’t going crazy. Her name was clearly being called from behind her. Whirling around, her eyes shifted from the left to the right until they landed on a man. A grin burst across her face as she took him in. Eighteen months it had been. Eighteen months of no hugs, kisses, affection from the man, only his letters letting her know he was okay. And there, standing right there in front of her, was Major John Egan. A wide grin on his face as he took two steps forward, just as she ran directly into his arms. Throwing her arms around his broad shoulders, she felt him tug her up. She felt her feet leave the ground as he twirled them around. “Addie, baby.” 

“John.” She choked past a sob. “You’re here!” 

Leaning back, she put her hands on either side of his face, eyes scanning his face. Leaning down, she pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Putting her back down on the ground, she threw her arms back around his waist, pulling him closer to her. “You’re here.” 

“I’m here, Addie. I’m not leaving you again, sweetheart.” He murmured, tilting her head up so he could look at her. “You’re absolutely beautiful, Addie. I can’t believe I'm here.” 

Pushing to her tiptoes, she pressed another kiss to his lips, as his hand came up to her neck, deepening it. Hoots and hollers rang out around them as they pulled back, dazed looks in their eyes. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek, running her thumb over the stubble that was on his cheek. “I love you, John Egan.” 

“I love you too, Addie Baker.” 

With those words, tears ran down her face. Eighteen months it’s been since she heard his voice, those words, directed at her. John’s thumb ran its way across her jaw, a smile tugged on his lips before reaching up and wiping the tears away. “God, you’re a sore sight to see, Addie. Don’t think I’m ever going to stop looking at you.” 

Reaching up, she squeezed his hand. “I’m here, John and I'm never going anywhere.” 

His eyes trailed over her face, as if to memorize it as he smiled happily. The biggest grin she had ever seen was on his face, as if to remember that he had made it and came home to her. “One thing I have to tell you, Buck made it home. I picked him up in Paris a few weeks ago.” 

“You flew to Paris?” John’s eyes went wide, before laughing loudly. “Whatever happened to Buck swearing he would never fly with you again?” 

She giggled. “He didn’t have much choice. Charlie and I picked him up and brought him back to Thorpe. He’s alright - he’s actually on his own mission today, delivering food with Rosie to the Dutch.” 

“Him and Rosie? Delivering food to the Dutch?” He shook his head, reaching down to lace his fingers with hers. “I feel like there’s so much you need to catch me up on.” 

Nodding, she grinned. “We have all the time in the world. C’mon, I fear my co-pilot is getting antsy.” 

“Co-pilot?” John echoed, looking at her with wide eyes. “You’re flying us home?” 

Squeezing his hand, she nodded, eyes lit up with excitement. “Of course, handsome. I’m not leaving you here. Come on, let’s go before the Colonel gets word that we’re not wheels up yet.” 

Tugging him along, she felt him untangle their hands before throwing his arm around her. Stepping right up to the plane, her eyes lit up seeing Elizabeth and Charlie standing in the door of the plane watching the two of them. “Welcome back, John!” 

Charlie hopped down from the plane, holding his hand out for John to shake. Addie felt Elizabeth wrap her arms around her tugging her close, giving her a side a squeeze. “Happy?” 

“Feeling all the emotions currently. I shed tears when I saw him. I don’t know how I feel right now.”  She rested her head on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “I can’t believe he was standing right in front of me. Eighteen months.” 

Elizabeth smiled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. “Believe it - your family is back together and we’re all safe and sound. Shall we head back to merry old England?” 

“As soon as you all get your butts on the plane.” She smirked, detangling herself from Elizabeth’s hold, starting her pre-flight checks. 

Running a hand on the belly of the plane, she watched Charlie and Elizabeth hop up into the plane while John waited for her. “Go on, get up in the plane. I’m right behind you - just have to finish the last checks.” 

Continuing on with her checks, she paused, watching him jump up in the plane. Finishing everything up, she pulled herself up into the plane, slamming the door behind her. Walking through the plane, she saw several men that she didn’t recognize but gave them big smiles, welcoming them aboard. 

Making her way through the plane, she pulled herself up into the yolk, collapsing on the chair adjacent to Charlie. “Are we heading straight home, or do we have to make a stop along the way?” 

“We have to stop at Radcliff before we touchdown at Thorpe.” Charlie grinned, watching Addie’s eyes rise. 

“Do they know we’re coming?” 

Charlie shook his head. “Nope, just that we’re going to be dropping off a few POWs there before heading back to our base.”

“Add that to our to-do list. Have a long discussion on where we’re going after the war is over - not sure if you want to go back to Michigan or somewhere else.” Addie looked over at her brother before starting the first engine. The other three were quickly started and before long, Addie was radioing the tower requesting take off instructions. Soon she was calling for tail wheel up and reaching cruising altitude just before 10,000 feet. 

Charlie shook his head. “Haven’t even thought that far ahead. Depending on where Anna wants to go - we still have a wedding to plan.” 

“I’m right there with you - depending on where John wants to go. I’m sure we’ll be back in Wisconsin before too long.” She chuckled. “And a wedding to plan - a crazy thought for sure.” 

Charlie nodded. “Ever think what mom would think?” 

“All the time. She would be so ecstatic to meet John and Anna. And Brady from what I heard.” She smirked, watching her brother’s eyes narrow. “She would be just excited that we were all coming home.” 

She bit her lip, attempting to ward off another round of tears. Throwing her head back, she looked up at the ceiling of the plane before laughing loudly. “I’m going to get sick of all these tears really quickly. The last thing John is going to want to deal with is a weepy gal.” 

“Don’t be too quick to think that, Bluebird.” His smooth voice broke through her laughter as she looked over her shoulder at him. 

“What are you doing up here, John? Don’t you know that you’re not supposed to be walking around in a plane while it’s in flight?” She teased, raising an eyebrow at him. 

Leaning a hip against her chair, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Had to see my girl in action, flying the plane.” 

Charlie looked between the two. “I can let you have the yolk, and I’ll go in the back by the men.” 

Addie glared at her brother as John cracked up laughing at the two. John put his hands up, turning to head back down to the navigator’s area. “No need, I’ll go back. Just had to watch Addie work as I will probably never see her in the pilot seat of a big bird any time soon.” 

“All your barrack dreams just came true, huh Egan?” Charlie called as John poked his head back in with the biggest grin.

“You know it, Charlie.” 

Addie rolled her eyes at the two. She did hope the two of them would become really good friends, and at that moment, she was regretting her wishes. “I have nothing - always thought you’d hate whomever I brought home.” 

“John Egan is a pretty great guy, and he treats you really well.” Charlie gave her a look. “You should be ecstatic that we get along so well.” 

Addie nodded, slowly. “I do but not when you two gang up against me. But rather you two get along than fight with each other.” 

“It’s the start of a beautiful life as one big happy family.” Charlie quipped, just as Addie reached over and slugged his arm. 

The rest of the flight was smooth and when Charlie radioed into the tower for landing instructions, she knew she was going to cry some more tears as soon as they landed. Landing softly, she navigated the plane onto the hardstand, killing the engines. Walking to the back of the plane, she looked at all the people in the belly. “We made a stop at Radcliff - if this is your base, you’re more than welcome to head out now. Elizabeth, wait here for a moment. Dad’s on his way out - we’re not staying long as we have a timetable to stick to but figured he’d want to set eyes on you.” 

Following those that were staying at Radcliff out, Addie joined Charlie as they watched the approaching jeep make its way onto the tarmac. Once the jeep was parked, Addie grinned seeing Anna and her father make their way to where they stood. Anna all but collapsed into Charlie’s arms as her dad pulled her into a big hug. “Good flight?” 

“Yeah, can’t complain. It was mayhem at the processing center in Munich. Brought you back 10 pilots.” She said, hugging her dad back. “We have one last surprise for you though.” 

Whistling, Addie turned towards the plane, watching the hatch open as Elizabeth tumbled out with a flourish, attempting to land gracefully. “I don’t know how you all do that so gracefully.” 

“When you’ve done it hundreds of times in your career, you just get good at it.” Addie called back, as she watched her dad’s eyes sweep over his daughter. 

“You’re home.” Her father said quietly, before pulling Elizabeth into a tight hug. 

Tears flowed down Addie’s face as she watched her dad and sister reunite after being apart for so long. Arms wrapped around her, tucking her close. Leaning down, John pressed a kiss to the side of her head. “Good tears?” 

“The best kind of tears. Hello tears, instead of goodbye tears.” She whispered, reaching up to wipe the stray tears away.  Lacing their fingers together, she gave his hand a squeeze, pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. 

Watching her family reunite with one another, she cleared her throat, a frown at her face. “While I hate to do this, we do need to get back to Thorpe. Dad, Anna, want to come over later this week? I think we need to have a big family meeting, now that we’re all back.” 

Hugs were exchanged, welcome back greetings for John and Elizabeth before promises to see everyone later that week. Soon, Charlie, Elizabeth, Addie, and John were back in the plane, and they were taxiing down the runway, heading back to Thorpe. “What’s with the sudden urge to get back to Thorpe?” 

“Well, Charlie. It’s currently 1300 hours and Buck and Rosie are supposed to be back around 1500 hours. I want to make sure we’re back first so that another reunion can happen, and I want a front row seat to that one.” She said, giving him a look, watching as his eyes went wide and he chuckled. 

“Ahh Buck and Bucky’s reunion?” He asked as she silently agreed. “That’s going to be a great reunion

Nodding, she got them airborne, pushing the throttle a bit to ease into their ascent. “I know just the way John can welcome Buck back.”

“Not sure I like that evil grin you have on your face.” Charlie quipped, giving his sister a look. 

Waving him off, she smiled. “It’s going to be a great reunion, and I’ll probably shed tears again.” 

Before long, the descent to Thorpe’s started. Addie confirmed with Charlie that the landing gears were coming down and they radioed to the tower for landing instructions. Soon enough, they were back on the ground, with a gentle bump, Addie easing the plane to a stop on a hardstand. She could hear everyone rustling around in the back and she couldn’t wipe the grin off her face. 

Her found family had made their way back home to her. Through unexpected odds, they survived, and they were all home. 

Gathering up her items, she made her way through the plane, smiling when she saw John standing there waiting for her. “Back to where it all began.” 

“The plane or the base?” She grinned up at him, standing by his side.

“Both, I guess. But I was thinking about the belly of the plane, when you were having one of your sad nights.” He said, sighing. “How far away that feels but that night solidified it for me - you’re it for me Addie. I’m the luckiest man in the world because I have you by my side. I love you.” 

Reaching out, she punched him as the tears crowded her eyes. Sighing, she looked up at the man that made her fall hopelessly in love. Sniffling, she shook her head. “I love you too, John. I’m going to have to put a limit on how many times you make me cry.” 

“I’ll be there to wipe your tears away every single time. I promise.” He leaned down, capturing her lips in a kiss as a throat cleared behind them. 

“How about you let the rest of us leave the plane, then you two can do whatever you want in an empty plane?” Charlie smirked, as John tugged Addie out of his way. As he passed them, Addie slugged him. 

“Should’ve left you at Radcliff for Anna and dad to deal with you.” Addie gave him a look. “Also, leave me alone - I’ve got 18 months of lost kisses, hugs, and sweet sentiments to make up for, pain in my butt.” 

Charlie held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. Just remember, you have just over an hour before you need to be up in the tower.” 

Saluting him, Addie smiled at him, watching him duck out of the plane, leaving her and John alone. “An hour? What’s going on up in the tower?” 

“You’ll see. Not going to give that surprise away.” She smirked, lacing their hands together. “What do you want to do? Like Charlie said, you’ve got about an hour.” 

Scratching the back of his head, he grimaced looking at her. “I could really go for a shower.” 

“Ok! Shower for you it is.” She said before stepping on her tiptoes, throwing her arm around his shoulder, pulling him in for a steamy kiss, one that left so much to promise. “We have to make a pit stop at my hut first.” 

Dazed from that kiss, John didn’t even question her as he followed behind her. Hopping out of the plane, Addie watched as he spoke quickly to the ground crew before hopping into the jeep left for them. He tugged her right hand off the steering wheel, lacing their fingers together. Looking at her, he noticed something. “Is that the fake engagement ring I gave you before London?”

“It is. I started wearing it after you went down. More as a physical reminder of your promise. Haven’t taken it off.” She whispered the last part, focused on the road in front of them, and avoiding his gaze. 

He let her avoid him as they pulled up to her hut. Getting out of the jeep, she motioned for him to wait as she checked the hut before motioning him to follow her inside. Walking down the aisle, she paused in front of her bed. “Two things were given to me when we got word that you went down - one was your jacket, which for the record, I have worn almost every day since Kidd gave it to me. Two, they gave me your footlocker, and I’ve kept it safe for you.” 

“They gave you my stuff?” John said, crouching down, opening his locker. “Did you look through this?” 

Sitting down on her bed, she placed a hand on his shoulder. “I did. We found out you were in the POW camp on December 5th, and I went through it Christmas morning as I was missing you badly that morning. I may have found a letter that you wrote but I’ll be completely surprised when you give it to me officially.” 

He chuckled. “I wrote that letter after finding you in the big bird that night. There was something about you that drew me in and I wanted to know more.” 

“Well, whatever it was, I felt it too. I wanted to know more about you.” She whispered, squeezing his shoulder. “Come on, you need a shower, and we have places to go and people to see.” 

She watched him pick up his footlocker and haul it out of her hut, placing it in the back of the jeep. Driving him towards his old hut, she watched him take in the surrounding area. “Things haven’t changed much, have they?” 

“Not really - new faces are about the only thing that has changed. Everything else has pretty much stayed the same.” She pulled to a stop outside of his hut. “Go get a shower, freshen up, then meet me at my desk when you’re done. I’ll clue you in about your surprise.” 

Getting out of the jeep, he leaned across the seats, placing a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling back winking. “I’ll see you soon, Bluebird.” 

He grabbed his footlocker from the back. She watched him walk away, the smile tugging at her lips as he paused, winked at her again, before disappearing into his hut. She shook her head, happiness flowing through her as she drove to the tower. She should have made sure Elizabeth had everything she needed before she left the plane but her sister knew the base like the back of her hand, so Addie wasn’t too concerned. 

Walking up the stairs, she threw open the door, not sure what she was expecting, but a quiet office wasn’t it. Walking into the main part, she saw Elizabeth sitting behind her desk with a smirk. “Oh, you finally realized that I was here, huh?” 

“Well . . .” Addie hesitated, grinning at her older sister. “I’m sorry. You probably need clothes and somewhere to bunk, huh?” 

Elizabeth giggled at her sister. “I wasn’t going to interrupt whatever you and Bucky got up to. Luckily for you, I had a shower this morning, but I won’t say no to clothes or a bed.” 

“You can bunk with me. As for clothes, I’m sure we can scrounge up something - if nothing else, there’s a few extra nurse outfits that’ll work.” Addie added as she avoided Elizabeth’s swat to her arm. 

“Where did you leave John?” Her sister pushed away from her desk, coming to stand next to Addie at the windows. 

She watched old friends catch up with one another. Josie and DeMarco were walking hand in hand down the tarmac. Looking around for the canine of the base, she failed to see him. “He’s getting a shower. Did you happen to see Meatball around anywhere?” 

“He is in Jeffrey’s office. Never heard a CO baby talk to a dog before but that’s what I heard when I walked in a few minutes ago.” She smirked, nodding to the closed door. 

Addie rolled her eyes, successfully swatting her sister. “Lovely. What are your plans for the day?” 

“Avoiding you and Bucky as long as humanly possible. You two are going to be lovesick idiots now. I managed to avoid it the first time but I don’t think I’m going to be so lucky this time.” She gagged, exaggerating a shutter. 

Crossing her arms, Addie gave her a long look. “And you and Brady? What’s the story there?” 

“That, my dear sister, is a story for another time.” She grinned. “Let’s just say he’s very talented with his hands.” 

Addie put her hand on her mouth as she pretended to gag at the news. “Things I didn’t need to know about my friend. Thank you, Elizabeth.” 

“I was only saying he’s talented with his hands because he’s a musician, Addie.” Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Goodness, Egan has corrupted you, Ads.”

Quickly shaking her head, Addie pursed her lips. “He did not, the look on your face is what horrified me. Do I need to give Brady a talk about if he hurts my sister?”

“John may have already done that - double check with him. But if he did not, then feel free to do so.” Elizabeth smiled, pushing off the wall. “I’m going to head back to your hut, maybe take a nap. Will you come grab me when you head to dinner?” 

Nodding, Addie tugged her sister into a hug before kissing her cheek. “If I haven’t said it, it’s really good to have you home. Sister catch up soon?” 

“Absolutely. Need to know what badass stuff you got up to in the 18 months we were gone.” Elizabeth smirked, returning her hug before heading out of the tower. 

Pushing herself off the wall, she walked over to Jeffrey’s office, knocking quickly. “Enter.” 

Pushing open the door, Addie smiled seeing Meatball jump up from the floor to circle her. Reaching down, she gave him a few pats and scratched before looking up at her CO. “Thank you for watching him today.”

“Not a problem. You were right, he is a pretty chill dog.” Jeffrey smiled, seeing the dog sit at Addie’s feet. “Everything go alright with the mission?” 

Nodding, she felt Meatball lick her hand. “We brought home 30 men, 10 of which we dropped off at Radcliff before bringing the other 20 men here. I’ll make sure you meet them properly soon.” 

“Was your Major Egan one of them to return?” Jeffrey asked, watching a light blush cover his secretary’s cheeks. 

“He was.” She smiled. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to bring him and the men home. It was a great honor to fly them back.” 

Jeffrey stood, making his way over to her. “I am glad you got the opportunity. You do so much for the base, it was the least I could do to have you fly that mission. Now, take the rest of the afternoon off - I’m sure there will be some celebrations to welcome the men back.” 

Nodding, her and Meatball left his office, she stopped at her desk. She needed to send a telegram to Harding but finding the words was difficult. She figured simply saying that Buck and Bucky had made it back. She finished it with her signature before promising herself she’d send it later that afternoon. 

She was caught in her thoughts that she failed to hear the door open, until she saw a bouquet of wildflowers in front of her. Looking up, she grinned seeing Bucky standing there with the flowers, just as he had done countless times. “John, they’re gorgeous.” 

“Luckily, they didn’t mow down my field.” He handed them to her, Addie inhaling them before putting them in her makeshift vase, adding a bit of water from the cooled tea kettle. 

Addie turned, shaking her head at him, watching him greet Meatball. “They tried but I wouldn’t let them. Even got Jeffrey to write up an executive order that put the kibosh on that.” 

John chuckled, a grin on his face as he continued to pet the dog. “Oh, I missed you too, Meatball.” Looking up at Addie, he chuckled. “Of course you would. Now what’s my surprise?” 

“Come along, then.” She laced their hands together, leading him up the stairs in the tower, Meatball trailing behind them. Opening the door, she motioned John to go in ahead of her. “Maddie moo!” Addie cried just as the door shut behind her. 

“Hey, you! Good flight today?” Maddie asked, twirling around in her chair, only to stop when she saw John standing next to her friend. “Bucky! Welcome back!”

“I had to pick up a few men who had lost their way, including this one.” She smiled, taking a seat next to Maddie. “We’re here to surprise the crew coming back in a bit.” 

“Hi Maddie. Did my girl get my missives?” John asked, sitting in a chair beside Addie. 

“She did - left them on her desk after we got word. And you’re right on time, they should be calling into the tower any second.” Maddie said, giving the two of them a look. “He does know about that, doesn’t he?” 

Addie looked over at John, who was confused at the two. “Buck and Rosie are coming back from their mission. Thought you’d like to be the one to give them landing instructions.” 

John laughed. “Are you trying to give my best friend a heart attack?” 

“Something like that. Just think, it’ll be payback from something.” She teased, hearing the radio static come through. 

“Clearup Tower, this is Chowhound One requesting landing instructions, over.” Gale’s strong voice came through the radio as Addie watched the grin cross Bucky’s face. 

“Chowhound One, you are clear for overhead approach. Runway 281 at 1,200 indicated. Winds are 300 at 12. Altimeter, 29.96. Over.” John reported back, a smirk on his face at hearing Buck’s voice for the first time in weeks.

Addie shook her head at John. This was the perfect way to let Buck know he had returned to base, safe. John reached over, grabbing her hand, and squeezing it. 

“Clearup Tower, please repeat. Over.” Buck’s confused voice radioed back as they all bit back a laugh.

The smile was clear in his voice as he radioed back. “Oh, you heard me the first goddamn time, Gale”

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Throwing down the earpiece, John pushed back from the desk, giving Addie a look. “Want to go meet him at the hardstand with me?” 

Nodding, Addie turned to Maddie. “Thank you for letting us crash the Tower for a bit.” 

“Anytime. Always happy to have you here with me.” Maddie grinned, watching the two of them head out of the tower, with Meatball hot on their heels.  

John tugged her down the stairs, making sure she didn’t trip. He hopped into the driver’s side of the jeep, waiting for her to get in. Meatball hopped in beside Addie before John tore off down the runway. She pointed to Buck’s plane as it landed softly on the tarmac. 

John waited for the plane to turn to the hardstand, before pulling up alongside the plane. Honking the horn, he smirked as Buck caught sight of him in the jeep.  Buck’s face was worth all the agony and pain they had been through. Addie watched Buck’s grin widened as he saw his best friend. 

“Look who it is. Stone in my shoe!” Buck called out, shaking his head at his best friend.

“Oh, I’m back!” All Bucky could do was laugh as he continued to follow the B-17 to the hard stand.

Putting the jeep into park, John jumped out, antsy to be face to face with Buck in a handful of weeks. Addie stood back, Meatball by her side, as she waited for the reunion. 

Soon enough, the hatch was opened and Buck dropped out, a big grin on his face. Immediately John tugged him into a hug, a few back slaps exchanged before they pulled back. Buck looked over his shoulder grinning at Addie. “Had a hand in bringing him back?” 

“Sure did. Didn’t think he was even there until literally the last 5 minutes we were on the ground.” She smirked looking between the two friends. “He found me though.”

“Had to yell her name three times before she saw me.” John teased. 

Addie smiled. “Well, it was an emotional morning. Elizabeth, DeMarco, Brady, Murphy, Crank, Alex, and Richard all came home with us too.” 

Buck grinned. “You brought them all home. I’m sure they were glad to see you.” 

“Too true, Buck.” John smiled, seeing more people come up to them. Lemmons, Rosie and Crosby joined them with handshakes and welcome backs. 

Addie reached down, petting Meatball, attempting to remind herself that they had made it, all safe and standing her on the hard stand like it was any other day. But it wasn’t and that day was one for celebrations. 

“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?” Rosie asked, looking between the group. 

Addie shrugged. “I have the rest of the day off. Jeffrey mentioned something about a celebration, so I’m guessing the club will be loud tonight.” 

The men hopped into the jeep, leaving Addie and Meatball to walk back. Addie needed some time to wrap her head around the day. Caught up in her thoughts, she didn’t realize Meatball had torn off down the way until she heard laughter. Looking up, she saw Meatball had noticed DeMarco and was excitedly jumping up and down, lapping up the attention from the man. 

Walking towards Josie, Addie grinned at her friend. “Good day?” 

“The best. You brought him home.” Josie looked over at her. “Thank you.” 

Addie chuckled. “No thanks needed. John and Elizabeth are both home too. Did he find you in the tower?” 

Nodding, Josie smiled. “I’m glad they’re back. As for Benny, he walked in, door slamming behind him and rushed up to my desk, pulling me to a stand before kissing me. Jeffrey kicked us out and we’ve been catching up since. He mentioned Meatball is yours and John’s now.” 

“Yet to be determined. I told him Meatball remembers him but Benny said he’s mine now. So, we agreed to disagree for the time being.” Addie grinned, watching DeMarco scratch Meatball’s belly. “Told you he didn’t forget you.” 

“Yeah, yeah but he’s still your dog.” DeMarco called back, vigorously scratching the dog. 

Giving them a few more minutes, she slapped her thigh, watching the dog come to her side. “I don’t know what the plans are, but there is a celebration in the club tonight.” 

Leaving them, her and Meatball continued their walk towards her hut. She didn’t know where John had gotten to but figured she would see him at the mess hall for dinner. 

Walking into her hut, she smiled seeing Elizabeth in the bed next to her, sound asleep. Collapsing on her own bed, she settled in, Meatball curled up at her feet. Sighing, she let the emotions of the day hit her. Her makeshift family was all back on base. Everyone was in high spirits and excitement was palpable. 

“What did I miss?” Elizabeth’s sleepy voice called to her. 

Addie smiled at her sister’s messy hair. “Good morning, sleeping beauty. Buck and Rosie came back. John was on the radio to welcome them back. A celebration later in the club is all I know. Everything else is yet to be determined.”

A yawn escaped Elizabeth’s mouth. “Sounds like a typical Tuesday.” 

Addie laughed. “The first one that’s felt normal in over a year.”

“You doing okay, Addie?” Elizabeth pushed herself up before coming to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her. Meatball nudged his way between the two, both girls giving him pets. 

Sighing, Addie shrugged. “I should be asking you that question.” 

“You’re avoiding it.” Elizabeth softly sang, giving her sister a knowing look. 

“Maybe I am.” She sighed softly. “I don’t know what I feel, Lizzie. I’m over the moon excited that you all are back but how do I explain to you and John what happened over the 18 months? I mean, how do I tell you that I helped plan out the missions this base did with the D-Day after Crosby collapsed from exhaustion. I saw Ryan and called him an asshole to his face. I took Rosie for a ride in Daffodil. Rosie went down then came back then I went to pick Buck up. And somehow, I made it through, one foot in front of the other for 570 days. Thank goodness for Rosie and Crosby - they made sure I ate and took care of myself while you all were away.” 

Tears fell as she whispered the last part. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around her sister, much to the dismay of Meatball. Elizabeth cooed as she ran a hand through Addie’s hair. “Let it out, Ads. Just let everything that you’ve been holding in out. Shh, I got you now.” 

She cried, cried until she couldn’t cry any longer. Slumped against her sister, she snubbed, hastily reaching up to wipe away her tears. “You’re so strong, Addie. So strong but you don’t have to be strong for anyone any longer. Your family is back, and we’re not going anywhere.” 

Sniffling, Addie hugged her sister tight. “Love you, Lizzie.” 

“Love you too, Ads.” 

2200 Hours

Stumbling out of the officer’s club, John by her side, she was wound up from a night of drinking and dancing. Tugging on John’s hand, she led him to a fort, standing in front of it with a grin. “We always end up here, don’t we?” 

“You led us here. I just followed.” He joked, an easy on his face. “I’m surprised you’re not more tired, you’ve been up since 0330.” 

At his words, a yawn escaped her mouth. She gave him a look. “Didn’t want to go to bed early on your first night back. Quite honestly, I don't want you out of my sight but what can we do?” 

John looked at the fort before looking at her. “C’mon, let’s go up.” 

Opening the hatch, he got up as she followed behind him. Grabbing a blanket, she threw it over her shoulder, hoping to ward off the chill, as he pulled her into his arms. “This, this right here, is what I’ve been looking forward to most. Being alone with you, without anyone around.”

“Me too.” She gave him a shy look, taking a deep breath. “You still smell like you did before you went down.” 

“You’ve smelt me before?” He teased, causing her to knock her shoulder into his. 

“Your jacket - I wore it before it smelt like you. Tobacco, sandalwood, and mint.” She gave him another shy look, eyes looking at their connecting hands instead of him. He reached over and rubbed his thumb on her jaw before tilting her head up. 

John locked eyes with her. “Where has my Addie gone? Why are you so shy?” 

“It’s been 18 months, John. We’re both different people.” She smiled softly. “What if what we had before you went down is now completely different?” 

John nodded, leaning over and gently kissing her. “The thought crossed my mind but Addie, what we have is real. I get it, you’re nervous, hell I’m nervous. Eighteen months is a long time to be a part, but you’re it for me baby. Yes, I asked you to marry me but when we get married is up to you.” 

“I want to marry you, John. There’s no question there. Just - I want to tell you everything that happened in the last 18 months. And I’m sure there’s things that you’ll need to tell me.” She paused, sighing. “I just don’t know where to start. I hated that you felt like you needed to go back up - and it took me a long time to realize that you needed not to feel so hopeless. Like I said in a letter, I forgave you for that a long time ago. I faced my ex-fiancé and called him an asshole. I helped plan around 200 D-Day missions for our boys to make, I did a few things that may make you roll your eyes, and I did a lot of other things that probably made a difference in the war. I took Rosie up in Daffodil on Thanksgiving. Rosie and Crosby watched over me to make sure I was eating and taking care of myself. And somehow, I managed to put one foot in front of the other and we made it, John. And now we’re free to start our lives together.” 

John nodded, leaning over and kissing her. His voice dropped to a whisper. “Addie, what can I say? You did it, baby. We made it through. I’m in awe of you and everything you had to endure while I was gone. But I’m home now, and you don’t have to endure that any longer. You can lean on me, through the tough days.” 

“But you’re working through your own stuff.” She said, picking up his hand, lacing their fingers together. 

John placed a finger under her chin, tilting it up so she locked eyes with him. “We’ll work on our own stuff, together, side by side, Addie. This will be the last time you're on your own. I’m not leaving you.” 

Squeezing his hand, a few stray tears fell down her cheeks. John reached over and whipped them away, rubbing his thumb along her chin, soothingly. “I love you, John.” 

“I love you too, Adelaide.” 

Nestled against John’s chest, she listened to his heartbeat. He was here, sitting beside her. The only thing she wanted the last 570 days. She just wanted him by her side, and finally, her wish came true. 

“John?” She asked, lifting her head to look over at him, a grin crossing her face. 

“Hmm?” He hummed, continuing to play with the ring on her finger before looking up at him. 

“I don’t want to wait . . . I want to marry you as soon as possible.” Her eyes lit up at the prospect. “Will you marry me, just as soon as we can pull things together?” 

John’s jaw dropped at her words. “But you just said . . .”

“Forget what I said. I don’t want to wait.” She squeezed his hand. “I want to be Mrs. John Egan, just as soon as we can make it happen. And if we need to wait until we get back to Wisconsin, so your mom and sisters are there, then so be it but I want to be your wife.” 

Grinning, he leaned in and kissed her soundly. Throwing her arms around his shoulders, she deepened the kiss. Tugging her, he helped her settle on his lap as they continued to kiss. “Addie, baby, yes, I will marry you. Wanna marry you just as soon as we can.” 

She didn’t say anything, just leaned forward to kiss him. He groaned at the heat behind the kiss. “Been dreaming of this, Bluebird.” 

“Make love to me, John.” She whispered, against his lips. Looking at him, she watched him bite his lip as she nodded. “I want you John. So unfair that I only had you for a night before you went down.” 

Leaning closer to his ear, her hot breath sent shivers down his spine. “Love you, John.” 

“Love you too, Adelaide.” Pushing her gently off him, he guided her back on the blanket, kneeling over her. Leaning over her, his kiss, sealed a promise between them. This, this was just the beginning for them. 

Thank you for reading!!! 10,379 words to round out chapter 17. They've reunited and Addie's found family are all back at base. There's one more chapter, a wrap-up and a look into the future. I have (currently) 4 scenes that were nixed when I originally updated chapters that I'll be posting once they're all cleaned up. But if there's anything else you'd like to see, feel free to send me a message or comment below. As always, feedback is welcomed and appreciated.

Chapter 18

[jaelvr]

Serenity ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

Prompt list one !

Home | Prompt collection

I’m taking requests!

Respond to this with a member and number(s) and I’ll write an imagine for it!!

Fluff : 

1.  “Hey–what’re you hiding behind your back?” 

2.  “All I care about is you.”

3.  “Let’s just stay here–I don’t ever want to move.”  ( used here )

4.  “I had a nightmare … can I stay with you tonight?” 

5.  God, I’m so glad you’re alright.” 

6.  “Oh my god, I’m in love with an adult man-child.” 

7.  “Hold my hand.” 

8.  “I heard you say my name in your sleep.” 

9.  “Here, lay down. I’ll stay until you feel safe enough for me to go.”  ( used here )

10.  “You’re too sweet for me.”  ( used here )

11.  “Hey–it’s okay. I’m here; I’m safe. And fine–see? Everything’s alright now.”  ( used here )

12.  “Ow! What did I do this time?!” ( used here )

13.  “You may be a jerk, but you’re my jerk.” 

14.  “I love you and all, but you’re really stretching your luck right now.”  ( used here )

15. “Why do you have to look at me like that? It’s making me weak, please stop.” 

16. “I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

17. “Look at me. I love you.”  ( used here )

18. “What took you so long? I missed you…”  ( used here )

19. “I never thought I’d be so lucky, especially not in this lifetime.” 

20. “I’m asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me.”  ( used here )

21. “I think I’m in love with you and I don’t know what to do.”  ( used here )

22. “I fell for you without even knowing it and, jesus, does it hurt that you can’t see it.” 

23. “You are more than you think of yourself. You’re everything to me.”  ( used here )

24. “You’re the best thing that has, and ever will, happen to me.”  

25. “I think you need to tell me the truth about how you feel towards me.”

26. “You keep saying that we’re friends but you look at me for a moment too long for that to be true.” ( used here )

27. “I would honestly die before I let anything happen to you.” 

28. “You’re the only person I’ve ever actually wanted to spent the rest of my life with.” 

29. “Please come home, this doesn’t feel right.”

30. “Are you awake? Oh my god I was so worried, holy shit I thought I was going to lose you.” 

31. “Don’t think about anything. Just tell me that you love me and hold me tighter.” 

32. “I know you think we aren’t right for each other, but we’ve run into each other too many times for you to tell me that this isn’t fate.”  ( used here )

33. “Don’t blame it on the alcohol, you tasted like you wanted me.” 

34. “You keep that photo of us in your wallet?” ( used here )

35. “If anything happens to me, remember that I’ll always love you.” ( used here )

36. “Don’t pretend that you don’t feel the same way.” 

37. “They told me that you’d break my heart but, holy shit, they never said it’d feel like this.”

38. “Don’t act innocent, you had me pinned underneath you 5 minutes ago.”  ( used here )

39. “I just want you to be happy, even if your happiness doesn’t include me, I just want you happy.” 

40. “You don’t know half of the things you do to me.”  ( used here )

41. “I love how you look in my shirt.”

42. “You’re unbelievable cute when you’re tired.” 

43. “I am so proud of you.” 

44. “Are you jealous? That’s cute."

45. “Oh, God. We’re one of those couples, aren’t we? Ugh–I hate us!”

46.  “Shut up and kiss me, you idiot.” 

47.  “Dance with me! C’mon, it’ll be fun!” 

48.  “Did you seriously just climb through my window?” 

49. “I’ll catch you–trust me! … So I dropped you one time–we don’t have the time to argue about this!” 

50.  “I love you. Never forget that, okay?” ( used here )

Angst ;

51. “Please, just stay a little longer.”  ( used here )

52. “Am I going to die?” 

53. “Why won’t you admit it!” 

54. “Please don’t cry.” ( used here )

55. “I would’ve died for you.” 

56. “You almost died! And for what?” 

57. “I’m just tired of this. I’m tired of it all.” ( used here )

58. “Don’t look at me like that, I don’t want pity.” 

59. “I wish I could fix this.” 

60. “You hurt me and I still trusted you.” 

61. “Don’t be sorry, it was no ones fault.” 

62. “I’ve spent all this time wondering and worrying about you. You didn’t think of me once?”  ( used here )

63. “You’re angry with me, I know.” 

64. “I know, but you didn’t have to use her like that!” 

65. “You know I wouldn’t call unless I was in pain.”  ( used here )

66. “We can start over. I’ll do anything, everything can be perfect. Just please don’t leave me.” 

67. “You could’ve told me, or helped me! Anything other than what you actually did!” 

68. “The only thing I can do is love you!” 

69. “There hasn’t been a day I didn’t think of you and it’s starting to hurt.”

70.  “I don’t want anyone besides you.” ( used here )

71. “I haven’t stopped crying since Thursday. It’s pathetic.” 

72. “It was a mistake and I know I can never fix this.” 

73. “I hope it hurts to think of me.” 

74. “Don’t make me fall in love again.” 

75. “I thought I didn’t miss you, but then I saw your photo.” 

76.  “I don’t know how to love someone without hurting them.”

77.  “I just wanted to see you one last time.”

78.  “Hold me. Don’t ever let go.” ( used here )

79.  “I came here to apologize.” 

80.  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

81.  “Please don’t abandon me–not like everyone else.”

82.  “Why would you do something like this?!” 

83.  “Why do you do this to yourself?” 

84.  “It’s always been you. It will always be you.” 

85.  “I’ve seen how much you really care–don’t pretend like you don’t.”  ( used here )

86.  “You could have died! I could have lost you!” 

87.  “I don’t know if you’ll ever be able to understand just how much I love you.” 

88.  “Do you ever think about me?”  ( used here )

89.  “I’m sorry. None of this should have ever happened–this is all my fault.” 

90. “It was always you. No matter how many times I disagreed, it was always you.”

91.  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” 

92.  “This is all your fault.” 

93.  “If you walk away right now, don’t ever come back. And I mean it–ever.” 

94.  “I need you more than I need air.”

95.  “Just hold on–you hear me? You’re not dying like this. Not here; not now!” ( used here )

96.  “I’m not worthy of you. I’ll never be. You’re too good for me.”

97.  “Do you think of them when you kiss me?”

98.  “Just because you’re a jackass doesn’t mean I hate you." ( used here )

99.  “I would die for you and not regret a thing."

100.  “I love you–can’t you see that?” 

Acts of love ;

101.  Always giving a bite of their food

102.  Gently resting their head on their shoulder when taking a picture / peeking at something. ( used here )

103.  Kisses on the nose / cheek / forehead

104.  Zipping / buttoning their jacket for them ( used here )

105.  sidewalk rule

106.  Waiting until they get to the door / get inside before driving off ( used here )

107.  “Did you eat today?” 

108.  Softly cleaning the others face after they've eaten

109.  “Wear a jacket, it's cold out." ( used here )

110.  Watching a movie / playing a game the others interested in

111.  Doing their makeup for them

112.  “I bought you flowers." "for what?" "there has to be a reason?” 

113.  Keeping their favourite snacks in the house for them

114.  Opening the door for them

115.  Pulling their seat out for them

116.  Lifting the shorter one up so they can be seen in photos.

117.  Playing with their hair

 118.  Fixing their clothes when something is off.

enjoy! :D

- Mars <3

[lesbianspeedy]

Sorry if this is a bad question or more likely just hopeless. I’ve been trying to find a good Connor Hawke comic to read (first found out about him in Damian’s Robin solo and he and Rose were the only two things I liked besides the Robin chase but I’m a bat brat) and I’ve only read the Silver Monkey story and as I’m not a fan of Oliver Green at all (my exposure to him has in no way been positive) and I HATE Dixon and I know he’s the main writer for Connor, but I had to drop the Tim solo because of his obvious, I guess bigotry would be the right word to use here, but he is one of the three writers I refuse to let myself read anymore to try and keep my blood pressure low. Are there any Connor stories or series that exist outside of those parameters to read because I’m having 0 luck. I’m also not sure if you’re a fan of Mia or Emilio or have any go-to stories for them, but I know nothing about them and I’d like to change that if at all possible.

i understand, i do i do. while i think dixon is capable of good character writing, and he did manage to do it in connor's run, i also understand his very very obvious politics shine through all the time and it gets tiresome (at one point in his ga run he manages to write OLIVER QUEEN "both sides"ing literal nazis that he and hal fought in GL/GA). here's the best i can do for recs outside of dixon (though few and far between)

Before i start, i do wanna clarify that his character in robin is. well. pretty different from his actual pre-established character. I'm not saying you won't like him, and im genuinely begging you to give him a shot, but if youre looking for the snarky brawler type, you might be a lil thrown by the polite buddhist monk you're gonna get.

you are in luck, as his first few appearances were by kelley puckett, so if you havent already read GA vol. 2 #0, do that first! #91 and #92 are also by puckett until dixon takes over for #93, so read those if you dont mind just stopping in the middle of an arc, otherwise avoid.

now this next rec IS 1/3 written by dixon but if you can get through it, the crossover connor has with wally and kyle is enjoyable, thats Green Lantern Vol. 3 #96, GA Vol. 2 #130, and The Flash Vol. 2 #135

Connor's JLA run! JLA Vol. 1 #8-#15, #8 and #9 are specifically about connor saving and joining the league, the rest of the issues just feature him in a team setting, as, well, its the league.

if you want to read mia as well, read Green Arrow: Quiver (GA Vol. 3 #1-#10), Connor plays an important role but its almost entirely in the very last issue, and it's more about Ollie's role dynamic with him than anything else, so just read that if it tickles your fancy.

I wish i could recommend more of GA Vol. 3 for connor, unfortunately he's pretty fucking sidelined, and for every good moment theres 2 bad ones. (immediately after quiver he is shot and put in a coma for an arc, somehow this isnt the last time this happens.) Though i do recommend #11, and i think #21 is a good issue to read for ollie and him, but it also includes a pretty huge retcon to Connor and Ollie's past

Other than those, he has One-shots in Green Arrow 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular: "One", DC Pride 2022: "Think Of Me", and DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration: "Hawke & Kong"

to answer your second question, my URL aint lesbianspeedy for nothin! Mia is what i breathe and bleed, my recs for her are here!

as for Emi, your best bets are Green Arrow Vol. 5 #18-#20, #22, #28-#34 for her origin (though read N52 green arrow at your own risk, even i havent properly read these), Green Arrow Vol. 6 #1-#7 (this may feel like a completely new character, i'm sorry, dc has a angsty characterisation problem, if you enjoy either of these characterisations, i'd recommend you keep reading said runs past my specific recs for more issues with her!) and Stargirl Spring Break Special + Stargirl: The Lost Children #1-#6

[countrymusiclover]

28 - Where We Started

Part 29

Family is More than Blood

@icefrye19 @secretdreamlandmentality

Laying on one of the beds in the supposed Mikaelson’s mansion as it is called. Staring at the ring I held in between my thumbs and index fingers I kept trying to piece together what I had apparently lost. My phone rang and broke the silence in the room. “Hello, who is this?”

“Don’t tell me that you have forgotten me, Rae.” It took me a minute before I could recognize that it was the voice of Cami.

Sitting the ring down in my lap I slowly replied. “How could I forget you, you are my one my sired vampires after all.”

“Well that's reassuring. I wish I could have the same hope for you remembering your husband.” She said softly before I changed the call to video.

“Why does everyone seem to think he is my type? I mean yes I adore the accent but I think I’d remember the man that everyone says I’m supposed to spend all eternity with.” I shake my head in a huff.

Cami sends me a half smile. “Raelyn, I know it’s hard to believe and I admit that he doesn’t exactly have the best track record. Until it came to when he met you.”

“What did you mean until I came into his life?” I questioned her, still so confused.

The young New Orleans vampire focused on my gaze. “He was the most ruthless vampire who ever walked the earth and had no emotion. Then you met him at the Mystic Falls bar and there was a light about you that he was drawn towards.”

“So a Beauty and the Beast type fairytale.” Shrugging my shoulders I tilted my head in disbelief. “Unfortunately Cami, we don't live in our childhood. The real world doesn’t mean that all the tales we were told can actually happen here as adults.”

“You just don’t see it because you don’t remember how you truly feel about him. I can’t imagine how hard this is for you but I’m just saying that you need to give him the same chance you gave him the first time you met.” Cami waited for my response.

I could sense that someone was watching me from the doorway so I hung up the phone quickly. “I’ll try my best. Talk to you later….using Cami and her ways of Psychology to convince me to give you a chance. You couldn't manage that yourself I see.” Shifting my gaze to the doorway I saw Klaus leaning with his hands behind his back.

“I must admit our therapist friend wasn’t a part of my plan. But I do hope you consider the advice she’s given you about me.” He stepped into the bedroom keeping his distance from me after our encounter the other day.

Hugging my knees to my chest I released a breath. “I may consider it. So what exactly do you want from me today?”

“Well my previous request hasn’t changed from the other night, Ms. Lane. So I’d wish to take you on a date again.” He clicked his tongue and came to sit on the edge of the bed where our gazes actually met for the first time this morning.

Tapping my fingers on my legs I paused for a moment in thought. “Okay I did agree to go out with you and I don’t back away from a deal. Where are we going exactly?”

“I already have a spot picked out. Don’t worry I know you’ll like it. Nothing too fancy just like you like.” Klaus responds turning on his heels vamping out of the bedroom keeping his answers vague. “Be ready and downstairs at six.”

Time seemed to go fast until it was almost five o clock and I still hadn’t decided on what I was going to wear for this date. Looking through my closet I grumbled typing away on my phone until I found Rebekah’s number. Holding it up to my ear she immediately answered my call. “Hey Rae, what do you need?”

“Bex, you’re uh…brother has me going on a date. I don’t remember him but I have no clue what to wear for tonight. Please help me.” I explained flopping down on the edge of the bed.

She paused and turned on a video call so I showed her the closest of what I had. She didn’t live in this town anymore and had made a permanent home in Orleans with Marcel. She finally responded, not finding anything that she knew would be good. “Hmm go to my old room and see if there’s a dark red dress and pair it with your brown ankle boots. Leave your hair down completely too.”

“I'm not gonna take your clothes, Bex.” I told her I would feel guilty if I did so.

The original vampire sent me a smile shaking her head side to side. “Don’t feel guilty, Rae Rae. We are sisters in law even if you can't currently remember bedding my brother.”

“Rebekah!” I scolded her, feeling my face turn red at the thought.

She sends me a raised brow with the same gentle smile. “It’s just me speaking the truth, Rae. Now go put on that dress and enjoy your date.” We hung up the phone and I went into her old bedroom. Slipping the dress over my head it fell loosely down my body. It was a good fit on my hips, short sleeve and it had a v neck cut out. It also fell just to my knees and paired it with my brown ankle boots.

Moving down the hallway I vamped down the stairs looking around the room until my eyes found Klaus at the bottom of the stairs. Sliding my hand down the railing I released a breath feeling his blue eyes scanning me up and down. “You look elegant as always, Ms. Lane.” He raised a hand to me and I placed my hand in his larger one.

“You don't have to call me, Ms. Lane. I may not be wearing your ring but you can still call me just Raelyn.” I responded to him allowing my gaze to trail him up and down. He was wearing casual clothing. He had a black jacket thrown over a dark gray shirt. I could also note that he was wearing a dog tag necklace that appears to have a blue gem inside of it. Raising my freehand I held it in between my fingers. “What's this gem? It wasn't there before, was it?’

Klaus shakes his head no. “It wasn't, I promise. I decided to add it to my necklace because it matches your eyes and it's the same gemstone your brother’s old necklace was made of.”

“You choose to represent me?” I smiled, dropping my hands to my sides, feeling touched. “That's kinda cute.”

Klaus sent me a bright smile hoping that his plan would work tonight and that everything would return to normal for the two most powerful creatures on the planet. “So shall we get this evening started?” He questioned me offering his arm and I looped mine through his and he vamped me out of the mansion and we ended up outside the local Mystic Grill.

“The Grill, why here of all places. I'm not complaining, just curious.” I glanced at the hybrid removing my arm from his before we headed inside and up to the bar. Klaus sat down first eyeing the bartender nodding his direction. “Old scotch and a Apple cider beer for the lady.”

The bartender left us alone and I put my face in my hands sending him a curious look. “How could you know that? I never told anyone what I like to drink.”

“I told you that I know everything about you, did I not?” He sent me a cheeky smile, raising his glass to his lips when the bartender brought them to us. “I also knew that you wouldn't want something big and flashy. And this spot has special meaning to us.”

Taking a long sip of my drink I knitted my brows together. “Special meaning how?”

“This is the exact spot where we first met. Can I show you?” He flipped over his freehand waiting for my reply. Lowering my gaze to his hand I slipped my fingers through his before a memory flashes through my mind.

A glass gets slid my way when the front door of the bar opened and someone walked up taking a seat beside me. "Strong scotch. May I ask what is troubling a lady like yourself?" My ears picked up on a British accent causing me to whip my head throwing my hair around.

The stranger smiles in my direction picking up a drink Matt had brought him that I hadn't noticed until now. "Unfortunately I don't talk to strangers so no." I scoffed, flipping my hair towards him.

The British man chuckled, taking a long sip from his glass still eyeing me from the corner of his eyes. I can feel my heart starting to flutter at hearing his laugh. "Then let's change that. My name's Klaus. Klaus Mikaelson." He sticks his hand out towards me turning in his chair to face me.

I nearly choked on my drink having to quickly sit the glass down. Hitting my chest as I have a coughing fit in an attempt to not choke. Eyeing him with uncertainty I put my hand in his shaking it slowly biting my lip. Klaus started to pull away but I siphon his hand suddenly twisting his wrist slamming him against the wall with my other hand holding him there.

"Ergh - what are you girl!" He grunts against the wall trying to break free.

Slowly walking up to him I keep my hand raised in front of me holding him there. Eyeing him up and down Klaus has dirty blonde hair and blue eyes that are now turning gold. He clutched his hands into fists still trying to fight against my grip. But somehow I knew I could take him, maybe now that I took my brother's power it gave me a booster. "There's something about you that I don't trust, Klaus. I trusted people closest to me and they betrayed me. So I'm not falling for your charms."

Turning my hand I dropped him to the ground where he growled up at me, heading for the door glancing over my shoulder I kept a brave face to him. "As for my name it's Raelyn Lane. I'd stay away if I were you, Mr. Mikaelson."

“Woah…I suppose not everyone gets to have an easy first meeting. So what other things do you supposedly know about me hmm?” I asked him in a teasing manner, resting my chin in the palm of my freehand.

Klaus sat his drink back down on the bar table. “One of your favorite movies is….”

“The Hunger Games Series.” We responded in sync where our faces got closer to one another until I drew back blinking my eyes a few times. Leaning back on my barstool I crossed my arms over my chest. “You can’t seriously know everything.”

The smile on his face turned into a proud smirk in a split second. “I’ll take that as a challenge, Raelyn Lane.”

“We’ll see about that, Klaus.” I took a long sip of my drink, closing my eyes briefly and heard a plate get slid across to me. I gasped choking on the liquid that went down my throat seeing steak and shrimp in front of me. “Holy crap. No, this is not acceptable.”

He intertwined his hands together, shaking his head in defense at me. “It is entirely acceptable. I told you on our first date that money isn’t an issue. That you deserve to have the whole world at your fingertips.”

“I still think you’re a really good stalker because there’s no way you can know all the little things that I like.” I cut some pieces of steak and ate in silence without hearing him get down from his stool.

Klaus watched the bartender he had compelled leave the room. The hybrid went over and took a microphone from the stage pausing while he stared at the heretic in front of him. Nothing had scared him for a thousand years except his father Mikeal, but the thought of losing her was even worse. He raised the microphone to his mouth slowly singing behind her. “ 🎶

Well, look who it is

Last call, I thought I'd get

How's your mama, how you've been?

Girl, it's been too long

Saw your sister at the Circle K

Heard baby number two was on the way

Hadn't seen her since her weddin' day

With you on my arm

It's good to hear from you again

Girl what a coincidence

I was just thinkin' 'bout that weekend out on Cumberland Lake

And that one time in Baton Rouge when we made out in the rain

Where we went chasin' fallin' stars on a hill at your daddy's farm

Don't be sorry for callin' me up right out of the blue

I was just thinkin' 'bout you

I was just thinkin' 'bout you.”

“Hey, I just gotta say I heard your song the other day

And it put a smile on my face when I started reminiscing

I've been on the edge of callin' you

And I'm so glad I decided to….” I trailed off dropping the fork in my hands slowly looking over my shoulder seeing him standing behind me. My heart skipped a beat recognizing the song that he had chosen. In a creepy and romantic sort of way he was checking the boxes.

Sliding off the barstool I walked up to him until we were almost pressed up against the other. Placing my hands over his that held the microphone we finished the song with me jumping around in my own free style dance at the end singing the last few lines. “I was just thinkin' 'bout that weekend out on Cumberland Lake

And that one time in Baton Rouge when we made out in the rain

Where we went chasin' fallin' stars on a hill at your daddy's farm

Don't be sorry for callin' me up right out of the blue

I was just thinkin' 'bout you

Oh, I was just thinkin' 'bout you.

If you're ever back in town

Do what you're doin' right now

'Cause I'm probably thinkin' 'bout you

I was just thinkin' 'bout that weekend out on Cumberland Lake

And that one time in Baton Rouge when we made out in the rain

Where we went chasin' fallin' stars on a hill at your daddy's farm

Don't be sorry for callin' me up right out of the blue

I was just thinkin' 'bout you

🎶 “

I finally stopped dancing around when my hair fell completely in front of my eyes. I tried my best to get it out of the way but I only made it worse. I finally felt Klaus place his hands on my head brushing it down and away with his fingers. “Can't take you anywhere can I, Rae?”

“I guess not, Klaus….You’re not so bad of a romantic.” I grinned looking up into his blue eyes resting one of my hands on his face that he leaned into.

He leans down where I thought he was going to kiss me again yet he only let his lips hover above mine. “I'll take that as a start….goodnight Raelyn.” He whispered and I shut my eyes seeing he was gone the second I opened them. Running a hand through my hair I covered my mouth with my hands releasing a breath figuring that whatever this was it was going to be interesting for sure.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[paingoes]

Kitty and Apollo deserve some more asks too,

27) What do you think about whumpee (Delta)?

28) What do you think about whumper (Paris)?

35) Don't you ever want to take advantage of your position? (To use Delta's powers, for example)

Apollo

“He’s so sweet,” he sighs. “I wish it hadn’t taken so long to reach him. And I wish I didn’t fuck it up so bad. I’ve found myself agreeing more and more with Levon recently, as much as I hate to admit it. It was a hack job. I wish we could’ve made it easier for him, in any way. He deserves that much.”

~

“It’s weird, isn’t it? We all knew Paris. Not personally, obviously. Though I do think Levon actually had him on landline a few times. But we knew him as a public figure — and he was already fairly detested. So imagine my shock when I come to find out it was him who was keeping Delta as chattel.”

He widens his eyes for dramatic effect. Shocking.

“I imagine it’s a very scary thing having your abuser be so public facing. Paris’s deposition may have made things more difficult for us on a galactic scale, but at least none of us will have to hear about him anymore. I can’t say I feel very sorry for him, either way.”

~

He grimaces.

“I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t one of our considerations. In many ways, it was a strategic move. That’s certainly how I had to pitch it to Iza,” he admits.

“Though I’d say it was more in the interest of disarmament than any desire to actually use it for ourselves. I have zero desire to take advantage of Delta. But his situation is very complicated.”

~

Kitty

“I love Delta! I’ve always thought he was so cool, and I’m really glad we got to keep him,” she jokes. 

“You know we used to gossip about him all the time? Before we knew who he was, he was just this…enigmatic figure on the message boards. We had a whole little conspiracy chart. It was so conspiratorial!”

Her smile fades as she gets deeper into the memory.

“I remember when we started actually piecing it together, though. When we — I mean me, by the way. Apollo didn’t help. — found out what his situation was really like. That was…really scary. He’d go offline for weeks at a time and all we could do was wait for him to come back.”

“…But that’s over now! Now he’s stuck with us forever! Mwahahaha!”

~

“I hope that stupid clown girl gets to play jump rope with his intestines.” She answers automatically, then blinks, as if shocked it was her that said it.

~

“Nope!” she smiles again. “I just want him to be happy.”

[grantmentis]

Some details on the Pwhpa collective bargaining agreement can be found here, the hockey news is not my favorite source but the athletic one is paywalled so I figured I’d just link this one for those who may not have access

Anyway some thoughts, but please note while I have tried to read every article I have not read the documents themselves

What I like:

- training camp stipends

-six contracts that have to be 80k or over

-28 players

-no more than nine players can make the league minimum 35k

-certain flexibility in the average salary based on player movement and trade

-stipends for housing / food / relocation / lease breaking (the two above point leads me to believe player movement by front offices will be way more common in this league than we’ve seen previously)

-increase in growth built in to not just salaries but also things like training camp stipends

What I don’t like:

-55k being the average salary requirement, if that is enforced, when you have roster requirements that is essentially a salary cap (assuming it’s strict enforcement) and not a particularly high one which. That SAID I do like the formatting of this instead of a standard salary cap as it prevents team from top loading salaries (especially with the minimum number of players that can make the minimum salary and a certain number that need to make 80k.) this is one of those things that would bother me less if it wasn’t an 8 year cba (I wish we had no salary cap or anything of the sort ideally but I do not expect it for new North American leagues)

-contracts not guaranteed/ can be terminated (want to see exact language before I fully comment on this tho, as I believe I heard there are restrictions on this so that one can’t just do it in retaliation or anything, but it still makes me nervous)

-increase in growth built in…both a positive and a negative to me, due to the term of the CBA.

-from what I’ve heard, no revenue split

What I’m curious to hear about further:

-facility requirements. This is why a lot of Pwhpa players left the phf, and also something a lot of phf players fought to improve the past few years which is why we saw some facility changes. It’s an important issue to a lot of players and I have to imagine it’s probably in the CBA but haven’t actually heard anyone talk about it. This is also interesting as the league has six months to figure out where they’re playing that’ll be massively important to it. We know Pwhpa players talked about scouting faculties a few weeks back as well

-salvian of the athletic reporter there was maternity leave, pregnancy benefits, nursing accommodations but haven’t seen anyone expand on that in an article

-we know trades, waivers, and draft are transactions included in the CBA but don’t know: if there are no trade / move clauses, if a player is drafted but chooses not to sign how long their rights are held for. I’m going under the assumption that there isn’t going to be much restricted free agents / it’s not an nhl or nwsl thing where when you’re drafted the team holds your rights for a billion years unless they trade or relinquish it, but in previous leagues whether that be phf or cwhl we’ve seen drafts be mostly ceremonial where the team who drafted you gets maybe two weeks of exclusive talks before you’re free to negotiate with anyone. Will we see something similar here - and will that change from the inaugural draft to next years draft where you’re likely going back to graduating ncaa players

-we heard relocation assistance/stipend is offered, does that come with visa assistance for international players?

-this isn’t necessarily a cba thing but also could be? So I’m going to put it here. There is undeniably a lot of national team players that will be in this league and taking up a high percentage of roster spots. Will the league stop during international tournaments as we’ve seen previously or will we get more what the nwsl is doing this year and allowing temporary contracts (maybe like the 10 day contracts mentioned)

[mitamicah]

Just some transmasc news about this transmasc dude trying to get help with some transmasc things

TLDR; 

1) I still don’t know when I can start hrt and I might not know for months (which in turn means that I might still be declined or only get started on t in late 2024 or early 2025).

2) I’m thinking about going private with my top surgery and depending on how quickly my friends answer me about wanting to go to Sweden with me as moral support I might have my first consultation with the surgeon this year (way faster than expected)

Long story under the line

Let’s start with a bit of context:

I’m a 28 year old transmasc person seeking hormone replacement therapy and top surgery. (Top surgery is my top priority but HRT are a very close second and only seems more right for me every day). So far I’ve been persuing these two wishes through the public healthcare system with the focus rn being on starting testosterone.

Back in May I had my last therapy appointment about possibly starting t where I was told that my case would be taking up as the next available conference date (the meeting where they discuss my case) and that I’d know when that would be asap. That turned out to be August 9 and I’d get the verdict the day after August 10. If I got accepted I was told that there can go up to 8 months of pre-planning where I’d have to have blood taken, my body and hormone levels checked and all that fun stuff.

Now for top surgery  have been a bit more of a bumpy ride so far all because of my weight. I’ve never been that skinny and while most of my life I have had a sort of high BMI it has been in the normal range. Given that I’d been forgotten by the clinic there was a 4 month wait between my first and second appointment for a therapy session at the clinic. Around this time my grandmother died and I dealt with a lot of changes in my live that in retrospect was way too much for me to handle so I find myself calming my nerves by eating a bit more than usual. And so come february I now had a BMI around 29,5 where the cut off for top surgery at the GC was 27. I was told that I had to lose at least 5 kg to be offered surgery. Three months later after restricting my food intake (no more candy/cake and smaller portions mostly) I’d managed to lose 9 kg so my BMI was now under the cut off (but in the high end around 26). My therapist were thrilled yet still ended the session by saying that I probably had to lose weight again after starting testosterone since a known side effect is putting on weight.

Why am I telling you all this? Well, I want to give you an idea for what have been weighing (pun intended) on my mind. And taken into account that there’s probably 2 years since the GC would even as much as think about offering me surgery, being told over and over that even when I am doing something right it still might not be enough to get this life changing intervention is tough.

And so I’ve thought about going private with the top surgery. There is a private clinic not far from here (Sweden) that is well known for their good results with top surgery for transmasculine people. As a bonus they don’t have the same strict rules about your weight (I read that maybe they’d be careful if your BMI was over 34 but that’s still way higher than having 27 as your cut off).

Now all that context is out of the way what are my news:

HRT

On August 10 I had hoped to know whether or not I could start t. Instead I was told that one person in the personel was on vacation so the team couldn’t tell me whether I can start testosterone or not. Instead, I would get a message about a possible new conference as soon as they knew more. Me loving to have a bit of a time frame I asked how long the person’s holiday would be and I was told two weeks. On August 24 aka two weeks later I then started my inner clock trying to figure out how much time to give them so I wouldn’t seem impatient and needy. 

When around 9 days had passed since August 24 I grew very wary and vocal about said wariness. I for one made the mistake (?) of mentioning it at a trans meet up where everybody then jumped at me to call the clinic as soon as possible because the clinic had probably forgotten me by now and so my case would be as good as dropped. 

And so I called the clinic today to be told that they hadn’t forgotten me (luckily). The thing is they are very busy (which is fair, given the lack of ressources) and so there might not be time for another conference for me this year and if so they wont send me a message before next year. 

So yeah - in the worst case scenario the line will be dead between me and the genderclinic for MONTHS only for me to randomly get a message with a time for a conference sometime in 2024. 

Given the pre-planing for hormones I might not be able to start testosterone before late 2024 or maybe even early 2025 cutting it very close to my personal goal that is to start hormones before I turn 30 (for no reason other than having a time frame).

Top surgery

At the same trans meet up event where I was told to call the clinic today, we got talking about BMI restrictions for trans affirming care. It was everything from being declined therapy sessions (if you had a BMI over 30) down to being less than 1kg (2 pounds) over the cut off for top surgery. Honestly, hearing all these stories made me certain that I wanted to try reaching out to the Swedish private clinic about a possible first consultation.

Given I was already calling one clinic today I decided to book for the other as well. And here I got a pleasant surprise: I had heard that there are quite a waiting list for pre-op consultations and so I could look forward to wait 7 months or more. Well, when I went to book an appointment there were available appointment NEXT MONTH (only one tbf but there were three in November). So if I am quick enough I might get a consultation this very year. Mind you this wouldn’t nesecarily mean that I can get my top surgery this year (probably not tbh), but it is way more promising than not knowing if you’d even get to have an appointment for HRT (that everybody but one person had agreed I could get) within the year.

There’s off course a “but” here as well:

I kind of want to have company with me to Sweden since going alone seems a little scary even as a 28 year old. I had talked about possibly going with my friends (who are a lesbian couple) yet since I only now decided to actually act on my wishes for the surgery through the private clinic I haven’t spoken to them about going to Sweden this winter. And so I just send them a voice message with my question about whether or not they’d accompany me and hoping to hear from them soon so I can hopefully get one of the times available before the end of the year.

So that’s all the news I have - one goodish and one baddish - I guess everything needs to be in balance :’D

[etf12546-sw]

Interracial Dating Guide #dating

Bless and Release.

Hello, I’m Jay Ramal, a 36-year-old man with roots in northern India and a hint of Middle Eastern heritage.

Standing at 5 feet 11 inches with an athletic build, I’ve journeyed through life as a passionate yogi, a dedicated affiliate marketer in the dating niche, and an interracial dating coach. Before we dive into the heart of this guide on interracial dating and marriage, let me tell you a bit more about myself.

Unlike some of our other videos, this one is audio-only. So, close your eyes, sit back, and let your imagination do the work.

I’ve had the unique experience of dating women from 28 different nationalities. You’d think the differences would be striking, wouldn’t you? Women from lands far from the homeland of my ancestors, with appearances vastly different from mine.

And yet, in many cases, I discovered striking similarities in how we were wired psychologically. Sometimes, without even talking about it, we just understood each other.

Some women shared common words, up to 20 percent, with my native languages and Sanskrit. This included women from the Middle East and Eastern Europe, creating a bond that transcended borders.

It’s a fascinating experience. If you’ve had something similar, please share it in the comments below.

Now, my passion lies in staying fit and healthy and helping others navigate the often complex world of relationships. That’s why I started WealthyLoveWell.com—to guide folks through the dating market, especially when it comes to dating across cultures.

I was born in the USA but eventually found my way to Australia, where I met my wife, an Australian woman of white Anglo-Saxon descent.

I’ve always held progressive and liberal views. I’m not particularly religious, though I grew up in a Roman Catholic family with very Westernized values.

My love for meeting women from all races and cultures stems from a genuine excitement for learning and experiencing life from different perspectives. You could say I’ve been a serial interracial dater.

And in 2024, I took one of those DNA tests—you know the type. It turns out I’m not just Indian. I’ve got a little bit of Middle Eastern and Northern European (Viking heritage) mixed in there, too. It’s a small world.

This revelation got me thinking about the concept of interracial dating. It’s not just an idea; it’s a practical reality of life on this tiny blue planet. As Carl Sagan once said, we live on a “mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.” Our geographical differences are so small that we’re practically living on top of each other on the scale of the universe.

Yet, despite our genetic similarities, cultural differences can sometimes make us feel like we’re worlds apart. We differ in how we process emotions, facts, political views, family values, and our sense of right and wrong. In many ways, we think more differently than we look.

So, I’ve put together a checklist for interracial dating and marriage. It’s drawn from my own experiences dating women from 28 different nationalities. Keep in mind that this is based on my journey, and your experience may differ. That’s okay. The goal here is to help you navigate and ensure that your dating journey leads to a fulfilling relationship, possibly even marriage, if that’s what you aim for.

Before we dive in, I’d appreciate your support. If you could, hit the like and subscribe buttons, and share this content with anyone who might benefit from it.

Now, let’s begin with the checklist.

Number 1 on the list is the “herd instinct.”

If you’re dating someone from a culture like Indian, Italian, Greek, Spanish, Middle Eastern, Eastern European, Latin American, or Pacific Islander, you might come across this phenomenon. Feel free to add more examples in the comments if you wish.

This herd instinct is something I know all too well. It’s the sense of belonging, the need to stay close to one’s family and community. When you date someone with this instinct, you’re not just dating them but their entire family.

If Nona or Abuela welcomes you, you’re quickly accepted as part of the herd, one of their own. As Dominic Toretto said in “Fast & Furious 8,” “For family.”

I find dating people from these cultures highly relatable to my own experience. Often, their extended families live nearby, and there are regular family gatherings, grand dinners, and birthday parties almost every Saturday. Attendance? Almost mandatory. People in these communities draw energy, comfort, and solace from being close to their herd, which is beautiful. Isn’t it?

If you come from a different background, you might find it hard to influence your partner to move away to another state or country. And even if they do, they may still long to rejoin the herd together at some point in your life. This can create tension in your relationship or marriage.

So, if you’re dating someone from these cultures and you have plans to move away, know that it could cause friction. Be kind and upfront. It’s unfair to expect someone to change who they are to please you.

Ask the serious question—are they willing to move away, knowing they may not see their family every week or join the herd regularly? If your date or partner is unsure or seems unconvincing in keeping you, “bless and release” may be the most unselfish thing to do.

Or you must be willing to join, like that dude from “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” who joined the big Greek family and went along for the ride. If you are willing to fully immerse yourself in their culture, this is a good sign to continue the relationship.

Number 2 – The sacred cow issue.

If you have dated an Indian, Middle Eastern, Black, Hispanic, Spanish, Russian, or Italian person, and you happen not to get along with their mother or grandmother, you may have said something disparaging, like calling them a cow in an argument with your partner, and shortly after found yourself being dumped or your marriage ended.

For the above cultures, the mother is the sacred cow. You must be willing to handle disputes with kindness and tact, even if she is wrong. Therefore, if you do not think you can handle matters tactfully and calmly in a sacred manner, it is better to “bless and release” them or not get into relationships with people who hold their mothers in the same light as the sacred cow.

Save yourself and them from future tensions, or again, I say, bless and release.

#dating #interracialdating

Wealthylovewell.com

[bullet-prooflove]

Donna’s Wednesday Radio Show Prompt List #6

Hey guys! As some of may know I do a weekly radioshow on Wednesdays and I thought why not put together a prompt list from some of the songs I’ve been playing. I thought it would bring some fresh prompts into our world!

Feel free to pop any of these prompts with a charcter I write for (You can find these on the pinned post on my blog) into my ASK box!

1.      won't let me see this side of you

2.      You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do

3.      I'm drinking tonight, gonna give up the fight

4.      turning me on Like a slow fire burn

5.      I choke back tears 'til I damn near drown

6.      You're not gonna make it

7.      Loveless nights, they seem so long I know that I'll hold you someday.

8.      We still talk like everyday But we don't talk in the same way that we used to

9.      This is the last time you say After the last line you break

10.   He pulled you closer, said he'll never let go

11.   And if only I could find the words Or muster up the nerve to tell her

12.   Can't keep my hands to myself

13.    the ghost of my sin

14.   But till you come back where you belong It's just another lonely Sunday.

15.   I fell for a boy who could never ever let me walk home that way 'Cause you gotta be safe

16.   You say that you love me, You won't remember in the morning

17.   I wish I'd known that it would be this hard to be alone. Please, come home!

18.   You're speaking like you really love him

19.   Maybe we'll see that we were wrong If ever we look back one day

20.   I thought that I was the exception I could rewrite your addiction

21.   The only thing stronger than you is whiskey

22.   Please, come back, don't you leave me

23.   When you're dying in LA

24.   Now all I can do is lay in my room Fall asleep, dream of you

25.   Tonight with me Won't you cut it up and dance all over me

26.   I'll never forget her and she'll always have a part of me

27.   He can be the one you run to, the one that saves ya

28.   the taste of goodbye on your lips when you kiss me

29.   You couldn't trust him but you never said no

30.   You trace my lines Stirring my soul

31.   And now you're dancing like you need him

32.   Don't let me go down this road again, We both know where this ends

33.   Put it in your pocket don't tell anyone I gave ya

34.   But for an angel, she's a hot, hot mess

35.   We both know love is not that easy

36.   He kissed you on the lips and opened your eyes

37.   Goodbye to my hopes and dreams

38.   I'm not gonna stay and watch you circle the drain

39.   Trust me, you'll make it through

40.   I know that I'm running out of time

41.   You had to catch your breath, got such a surprise

42.   Might be over now, but I feel it still

43.   Every now and then she makes you just a little bit crazy

44.   And you always forgot how it feels to live in his lies

45.   I wanna watch you undress

46.   It was your first cigarette

47.   But friends keep telling you what he did last night

48.   give-me-some-more girl

49.   In that moment he made you forgot how it feels when he's gone

50.   I know that it's wrong Still I run right into you

51.   I would rather we just go our different ways

52.   And now you're feeling like you miss him

53.   And you try to remember that there's no way you could ever be friends

54.   You better get your shit together

55.   He's out your system yeah it took you a while

56.   I know, 'cause I've been there too

57.   You and me together, forever

58.   I'ma disappear when they come for me

59.   You surround me, pull me, drown me then swallow me whole

60.   I shake and I shiver just to feel you breathe

61.   And all you want is just to hold her

62.   I forget who you used to be

63.   She's like a one-way ticket cause you can't come back

64.   You're way too young to be broken

65.   You pull me in close And buckle my knees

66.   I know it must seem frightening To have the world fall apart right under your shoes

67.   And I bit my lip the second you sipped The poison that was mixed for me

68.   You're way too young to play these games

69.   'Cause there are deeper and darker things than you

70.   From the beating of your heart

71.   Everything's turning dark to you

72.   I'm not the one Who wants to hurt you

[blonkk]

im gonna rant!!!

i’m so tireeddddd of people projecting their pathetic insecurities onto everyone else (me). like i’m sorry you’re afraid to be alone and you don’t know who you are and you’re insecure and you have no courage. not to be a bitch but seriously. idc anymore maybe i am stuck up maybe i do think i’m better than you!! but coming at me because i refuse to do what everyone else does with such contempt and vigour just exposes you. like i have accepted that in my life i will not experience romantic love. not because it doesn’t exist, it does for some people, but i’m not gonna base my entire life and goals around meeting someone, falling in love, marrying them and having their children. i’d be ready to end my shit right now if those were my goals, being 28 and not even having a boyfriend. that means i’ve already failed at life but i knowwww i’m still a caterpillar. like be serious. sooooo yeah, sorry that in your narrow worldview everyone needs to basically get married and have kids, and there’s “someone out there for you” — what so all women gotta find that person by age 30 or our lives are over?? 😂 you delusional weirdos sound like hardcore christians. like maybe there is someone for me who i’ll meet when i’m 45 or 70! maybe i’ll never meet them! maybe there isn’t anyone because that’s just the way the world is! but i’m selfish because i don’t want to spend my life being miserable because i can’t find love and place all chances of future happiness on this person and the privilege of bearing/raising their kids??!!? so i should just settle for second best — of something i don’t even WANT — because everyone says it’s the point of life?… anyways

i’m just annoyed like i said. i can accept a loveless life, it’s hard but i’m ok lol. yeah it gets sad and lonely sometimes but truth is i have a pretty wonderful life that i’m thankful for, despite sadness, loneliness, grief etc. being in love won’t improve things in any significant way imo. i don’t want to be isolated in a relationship with a man. i don’t want to live with a man. i don’t want to have kids. i like my life; i like my 50 year old snowboard bum roommate, i like my shit car, i like having the ability to do whatever i want. i like bouncing from job to job, despite the financial insecurity and general lack of stability; all my life i’ve wanted to be free and independent, and i finally am — i can take care of myself which is what matters. i love my friends, i love exploring different hobbies and places and careers. i am literally unemployed and haven’t been this happy in a long, long time. i’m so sick of people telling me they “want me to be happy” but ignore me when i say i finally truly am. they just want to shove me in their stifling little box with them for god knows what reason. just because you think your life is perfect doesn’t mean it will be for everyone. idk, things change! maybe i’ll change too! but for now shut the fuck up. go be in your annoying relationship with your insufferable bf/husband and tell everyone how much were missing out on by not being married/having kids. the gals a couple feminist waves back beg to differ along with the steadily rising divorce rates and rapidly declining marriage and birth rates.

you’re the one who’s unhappy. if not, then you simply lack compassion and general respect for others. your worldview is small and you’re ignorant. your life is yours, others have different wants and will follow the path that leads them to those things. we all suffer for our choices — sure, i may wish at times i had a spouse and a house and a mouse. that doesn’t mean it’s what i have always wanted deep deep down. it means it’s normal to wonder what it would be like to have what you don’t and yearn a little sometimes. BUT i’d literally never give up my freedom. i think back to high school often and how restricted i felt; i couldn’t breathe. i flailed in that environment because it was so rigid. i’m never, ever going back to that, ever. i have self respect