#Why yes I am a salt filled bystander: dash commentary

[nxthingnxtable]

“Pfffff.”

She has to stop herself from laughing so hard.

“She’s so innocent I can’t even...”

[nxthingnxtable]

“That’s why you like, get even. Get with someone who’s better than him or more successful and then flaunt it in his dumb face for the rest of his life, that’s what I’d do if any of my friends or family took the person I was interested in.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Could you keep that religious junk down? First the Jehova’s Witnesses and now this, don’t you Christians or Catholics or whatever know when to quit? God isn’t real, and if he is then he’s an asshole not worth praise because he should be busting his lazy ass making sure all this bad stuff isn’t happening.”

“Aka doing his fucking job that he wanted to sit in the big boy chair to do.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Ruining stealth heists?”

“More like stop Stealthing Bank Heist.”

“Because it’s fucking boring.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Looks like someone dropped the monster condom they use for their magnum dong.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“More like G for “Goddess of Beauty”.”

“Since that’s what I am.”

[nxthingnxtable]

Tfw personifications of historical figures act really gay. 

[nxthingnxtable]

“Embodiment of beauty and power huh?”

“Just gonna leave that there.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Of course he’s not human.”

“He’s a wannabe vampire obviously.”

“Totes different.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Joke’s on you, everyone looks silly at the beach.”

“Cept me, cause I’m like the hottest thing ever when I pretty up like this.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Horns can be kinda cute depending on the situation.”

“Some animals that have them are neat.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“It’s because the term God is subjective and only carries as much power as you want it to.”

“Sure, “Gods” can claim they’re better or higher than us. But what does that matter? MY boss is higher on the rank chain than me, Robert Downey Jr. is higher on the fame chain, my brother is more skilled at math than I am, nothing a “God” is or does is any different.”

“So I’m an Atheist because to me there are are no “Gods”, sure there are things out there stronger or better than me, but that would mean anyone better than me at anything would be a “God” of that thing so nah, I like it simple.”

“Not to mention that nothing they could do could take that belief or lack thereof from me, and if they were a real “God” that wouldn’t bother them anyway, not my fault they’re so “high and mighty” yet get upset over humans not believing in them.”

“You don’t see cats giving a damn if the mice they hunt believe in them or not, so it’s sad that basic animals have better composure than “divinity”.” 

[nxthingnxtable]

“Four Lokos huh?”

A few taps and swipes on her phone later.

“I’m ordering some to be irresponsible with!”

[nxthingnxtable]

“Wow.”

“Look at all of those Joans.”

[nxthingnxtable]

“I HaVE ZerO ToLerANce FoR ThosE WhO wOuLD DaRE crOSS Me ANd LaTer BetRaY Me.”

[nxthingnxtable]

““Try being a saint” says the one being the exact opposite of a saint.”