#Why am I even saying that? I feel like I'm incriminating myself here | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

youwontlikethisblog · 3 years ago

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Mario Calderon, Tipo 1A

I need y'all's help. This isn't a analysis post, more like a rant slash thinking out loud, which is why I needs y'all's help and I'm also dealing with a gnarly migraine headache because I just found out that Teriyaki sauce can cause migraines, fun! Oh so fun! I legit thought my BP was high and would need to be hospitalized(yay GAD!) and as this show is my comfort I am here to distract myself from my thoughts and if I in fact am dying of High BP than I guess this is my good bye and I've made my peace with it. I am okay(I need to say these types of things aloud in order to make my GAD chill out lol).

The current scene I'm on, Armando has given him the basic rundown of what Betty told him happened to her with Miguel. In stander style he doesn't give details but does step 1 step 2 kind of rundown.

He tries to explain to Mario that what they're doing to Betty isn't fair and that if she ever found out that it was be a disaster, not only for her, but everyone.

What caught my attention is that this same day Mario writes the letter to Armando, where he goes into detail the horrible plan they both enacted to make Betty fall in love and even went a step further as to truthfully incriminate Armando in that letter, making it seem like Armando spoke badly about Betty, however as an audience we know that Armando didn't really ever make fun of Betty and instead would get annoyed at Mario for it. He'd make fun of Mario and his stupid ideas of cheesy gifts and cards with poems and sadly he would say stuff like "I would never take a serenade with mariachis to her." or "I'm never going to make love to her. Thinking about that... I don't even want to think about that." So maybe, I take it back, Armando did make fun of her. What a piece of ish.

Anyway Armando won't really be the topic of this post, at least not the center of it. I kind of need a break from that toxic man.

Mario Calderon, another toxic man.

In the first part of I Understand You I talked a lot about their dynamic and how manipulative they both are towards each other so I won't explain in further detail that sort of stuff in this "post", but it's still important to know since that post goes along with this one, the letter, or at least, what went through Mario's mind when he wrote it.

Exactly like the first time Armando slept with Betty, they're in the meeting room, Armando, without hesitation, told Mario that yes he slept with Betty, having had one drink(though he didn't even finish it) and that he didn't need an inspirator either and once again Mario seems panicked when he notices just how out of control he is of Armando.

Curiously though it kind of reminds me of a personal experience. A few years ago through a person I called my best friend at the time, I met another girl and our duo became a trio. Basically we were all together, all the time. We had group chats with each other, we did this and that, people always commented that we were always together, blah blah blah. It was a blast, you know? I'm sure, as many people hear nowadays, trio's just don't work and hey this was no exception, nearly a year after I met this other girl the trio became a duo, I was not a chosen one and lost my best friend(all is good, no resentments or anything like that). I cannot speak for the other two and the things that happened, I can only speak for myself and I promise this all someway, somehow, oddly enough, connects with Mario and Armando.

First let me give these two people an identity. We'll call my exbsf Marissa and the girl she introduced me to Liza. Marissa and I had been close friends for nearly five years. She was the kind of friend that would text me when I entered my depressive episodes and then call my mom when I didn't pick up or answer her texts or calls. You know, she was always there to remind me I was loved and cared for. I admit I took that friendship for granted. At the same time I always tried to help Marissa relax and when we'd hang out I always wanted her to feel like for that moment the world revolved around her, did I execute this perfectly? Not always.

Anyway, fast forward to meeting Liza, Marissa had known her since childhood but they hadn't really been close friends until about a year or less before I met her, by then I was pretty sure that Marissa and I would be best friends for life. I was certain of that so I never felt jealous, possessive, or anything like that so when I started hanging out with Liza a lot more I didn't think it was a big deal and then it was and I did my best to correct the situation, well I go on a trip with my family and Liza(Marissa couldn't) joins, we kept getting mad at each other, having fights, blah blah blah, I'm texting my bestie across the world, 14 hours ahead and telling her how frustrated I was, with Liza, my family, the trip, everything really and Marissa at 4 am wakes up to reply, later I found out Liza had been complaining about me to her and that's why she was awake.

Fun times.

I still remember when I came back from that trip, almost a day or two later I see Marissa, we're doing some volunteer work with Liza and another friend of ours and I had this outer body experience where I am being, deliberately, mean to her, in front of everyone. In this short lived moment I'm staring at myself telling myself to shut up and to stop talking. I tried to correct myself in front of everyone but it left a sour taste in my mouth.

After that I started noticing, on my part certain things and I didn't like about myself. I became cold, distant, didn't even want to talk to Marissa. I didn't even want to see her nick name on my phone screen or notification. I felt like I was suffocating and Liza was no exemption.

In a post, way back when, I talked about how Armando has the habit of running away from his feelings and therefore whenever he does have them it's hard for him to understand them and identify them for what they are. In a very similar way, in that friendship, I did the same. For a while I ran away from what I felt, then I denied the way I felt, and finally when the ending of that friendship came, I was left confused about it all.

I do remember very specific instances, before I asked for space from both Marissa and Liza, where I'd look at them interacting I'd I feel invisible. I'd feel worthless and awful about myself. You know, walking into the middle of a conversation and everyone being quiet and hearing the whispers of "I'll text it to you later." and the ever pretending that they would bring up plans in the group chat between them and when I'd ask about them they'd say "Oh we told you about this already." and I was left with this awful feeling of "do they have a group chat without me?" I began to resent my best friend and felt replaced and those feelings felt like I wasn't nearly as important or worth fighting for. It brought my traumatic and toxic friendship from years before that to be relived in my memory and in an act of self-preservation I ended the friendship with both of them.

I'd stare at some one I used to call my best friend and feel like I was talking or staring at a stranger. Our conversations always felt force. In a room you could feel the tension coming from both of us and I can only speak for myself but my tension was due to fear. I was petrified of her, not because she was a bad person who'd do the same thing my ex toxic best friend had done but rather I was just afraid of getting hurt by her and afraid of trusting her again. It was a horrible year. Losing your best friend like that... it's terrible. I guess, in a sense, I'd rather lose a friendship because of it being toxic than lose a friendship because of miscommunication.

Yeah, yeah, what does this have to do with Mario and the letter

Mario in some sick and twisted way, in this specific scene, reminds me of myself. While yes I wasn't afraid I was losing control of my best friend(Cause I never had it nor wanted it) I was afraid of losing her, while Mario here is afraid of losing control over his best friend and in tail, losing his best friend.

If we strip away all the benefits that Mario gets from being friends with Armando, why does he have a friendship with Armando? It's hard to say. I'd like to believe, that at least, a small part of him, does truthfully care about Armando and his well being as he often tells Armando not to marry Marcela, especially because he's not in love with her and even though Marcela is beautiful, that there's plenty of other women who are a lot better looking, while yes he focuses on the superficial, you can sort of admit, in some dark and twisted way, that Mario has a soft spot for Armando and his happiness. However it's not a priority for him.

The problem is that Armando and his happiness never got in the way of Mario's happiness(money, chicks, etc.) like this time.

The scene I am currently paused on is of Armando gripping Mario from his suit jacket, while all we see is Mario's face. He is staring firmly at Armando's eyes, not stoic, not serious, not bemused, not disinterested, annoyed, or anything like that. He looks sort of afraid, not in a "OMG THE KILLER!" afraid, but a sad afraid if that makes sense lol.

His eyes are slightly squinting, his brows are slightly, just a hair, arched, and brought together at the front while his lips are on a straight line. This is, again, similar to Armando's poker face, however the slight squint of eyes and even flared nostrils and the slight change of his eyebrows while in context of what's going on is pretty clear to tell that Mario is scared, that he is nervous, and afraid.

This is a micro expression.

I'd like to say that this expression, in my understanding and opinion, is that of somebody staring at a person who they've known for years, but no longer recognize and that fact alone scares them but knowing that Mario needs to in some shape have control of Armando for his benefit this is terrifying for him.

In reality Mario has been losing his best friend and even if Mario manipulated him, he's not a psychopath or a sociopath, he cares about Armando in some strange way. I wouldn't say he loved Armando as his best friend, more than the benefits he got from being friend's with Armando, but rather, he was quite smitten with him in this sense of "He needs me in order to survive life and I'm doing him a favor with being his friend." type of way so it was mostly a friendship build in pity and a boost for his ego. Unlike Mario, who is constantly out with women, at cocktails and work events he's always seen conversating with people and engaging with both men and women, flirting with women, we only see Armando conversating with Mario and women. He seems to only converse with men when it comes to talking about his escapades and such or business and seeing as Armando is neurotic, a perfectionist, always on the brink of a breakdown where he'll yell at everyone, I don't think he really puts himself out there to form meaningful friendships with men(or women). Armando seems like the type of guy who is popular, liked by everyone, but he really doesn't have any close friends except for Mario and even then the friendship isn't the best.

Their friendship is a friendship based on dependency, really all of Armando's most intimate and important relationships have been based on dependency.

Mario depends on Armando's social status both for his economic future and his personal life, while Armando depends on Mario for social cues and how to get with and out of something or someone. For a while this friendship has really benefited them both, like a shark and a remora however this begins to change when Betty enters Eco Moda, therefore, Armando's life.

We've all heard the tale of the resentful guy best friend that hates that his best bud got a girlfriend he's in love with because that means he's losing his best bud and no longer having his wing man.

It's been a very obvious dynamic from the start and Marcela even commented on it in one of the very first episodes: That Mario was sad he was losing his comrade and partner in womanizing and whoring ways because Armando was engaged and getting married. He tried talking him out of it but when he saw that there was no talking him out of it9once Armando sets his mind to something he becomes stubborn to make it happen, even when he's way over his head) he recommended that Armando tell Marcela they get married through the courts and that 5 years later they revisit if they would get married through the church and if not, no resentments, their marriage just didn't work out for them, and Armando does just that and Marcela agrees.

In some way Mario began to accept that he was losing his comrade to Marcela, therefore Armando's freedom to join him in escapades with the Models and such, however because he also knew Armando wasn't in love, he knew that he'd still be able to get him to sneak around every once in a while, therefore personal and social life? Secured. Obviously neither Armando or him imaged that Eco Moda would enter an economic disaster, which would not only jeopardize Armando's reputation as president but most importantly, to Mario, his economic, profesional, social, and personal life. If Armando lost it all, he'd lose it all too and that's what truly moved him to tell and manipulate Armando into entering a relationship with Betty.

(I.e. why else would Mario have to move to a different country in order to get a job when Armando said he was done with him as in finito!)

The problem?

Mario teased, he joked, he did this and that, but if we're being honest, he never really thought that Armando would fall in love, as even Armando said himself that believed that he might never fall in love, or at least, it was too late for him anyway because he was getting married to Marcela, especially, that the person he'd end up falling for would be the very thing both Armando and Mario looked down upon: An "ugly" woman.

Little by little Mario has seen and felt the space grow and his resentment as well because even in his letter there is resentment when he says "you don't share with me like you used to in the past." while yes we can asume he was mocking, take into context Mario's behavior leading to this letter. It is resentment, clear as day.

Mario has been the only witness to this change of Armando taking shape, both professionally and in the personal(Marcela has only dealt with the consequences of that change). Though he has tried to give the benefit of the doubt that Armando couldn't truly care about Betty in a romantic way, much less that it would ever become public, he also knows that he can manipulate Armando with his fears because not only has he seen the change of Armando and even his desires for Betty increase but he has also witnessed Armando's fears of his feelings and of it ever being in the open. However in this scene when Armando, flat out accepts and says that he only had one drink, didn't need an inspirator, and asked "so what?" is an unexpected turn of events; Armando isn't afraid to admit to his best friend that he feels endearment for Betty, that he cares about her as a friend, that she's an important woman in his life, that what they have is a serious friendship, that matters, and now that without fear of prejudice, that when he sleeps with Betty, he is with her and no other woman, and that he enjoys it and he isn't embarrassed about it!

Oh the growth! Steady and slow, but it is there from Armando's side!

His questions regarding Armando's feelings, his jokes weren't just to make fun and be cruel. Lets not forget that Mario is extremely detail oriented and careful with his manipulation. This was all him gathering intel. In a sense I'd say that Mario trusted that Armando would grab the bag ASAP before anyone noticed it. He also didn't want Armando to screw up but in the fail chance that Armando, for being stupid, didn't get to the bag before anyone else, writing the cruelty of their plan so explicit and heinous, would cause Betty and Armando to breakup.

I'm trying to wrap my head around it.

It kind of defeats the purpose of Mario manipulating Armando to start the affair with Betty because Nicolas could turn her against them, i.e. him[Mario] and he'd end up losing everything because this letter does just that.

As a writer, I'm trying find the correct footing, trying to give FG the benefit of the doubt regarding this letter and the terrible thing is that this letter isn't OOC of Mario, really it's not a surprise that he'd write such a letter like that so there has to be an ulterior motive as to why Mario was so stupid with the placement and treatment of that letter, right?

Well I am just as stumped as you.

In some way, my writer brain is telling me: Well clearly all signs point that Mario Calderon in some sick and twisted way wanted to free Armando from it all and when he wrote the letter he wanted Armando to grab it first, but if he didn't, knowing that Betty checked all of his correspondence, he hoped, expected, and (mis)calculated that Betty wouldn't set them on fire. Why? Because Armando told him that if Betty ever found out it would be terrible, because he'd be killing her(but also that Betty would burn them if she ever found out).

Wait scratch that.

No no no!

Just no!

That seems more OOC of Mario than anything. Mario wouldn't risk this going public, he couldn't risk Betty finding out. I mean it would defeat the entire purpose!

So why does he write this godforsaken letter! Why does Mario think that this letter holds purpose? That it's important to tell him step by step and in cruelty, in a more cruel way than in person? Well I just concluded, just this moment.

Blackmail.

Yeah, I know, sounds a little to out there, don't you think?

But let's consider this new theory of mine, please. Just entertain me with this foolery!

In the I Understand You Part 1 post I made a huge deal and emphasis on Mario and Armando's toxic friendship and how they manipulate each other and I talked about how Armando knew that if Mario even got a weft of fact that Armando had feelings outside of guilt towards Betty that motivated him to continue the relationship and affair with Betty that Mario would use it against him, right?

Well Mario has a pretty strong odor signal right about this scene. In reality this scene shows more range of emotions coming off of Mario than the scene when Armando forcefully told him about his first time with Betty. In that scene we see him going from mockery, to panic because he doesn't have control of the situation, therefore of Armando.

However this scene is pretty evident that Mario no longer has that upper hand and by Armando's freedom of expression regarding what they're doing to Betty, both condemning him and himself, Mario looks spooked and what I said above regarding his feelings still stands! Oh my god, it still stands and it all comes crashing down now!

Mario is petrified that he has lost control of Armando and the situation and that, while he's gone, that Armando can screw it up, so he writes a stupid letter, cruel as ever, he was placing all his bets that Armando would get to it first, he did not expect for it to get misplaced, and what of it?

Well if Armando decided to backdown, there's a letter that could destroy his relationship with Betty, therefore, physical prove of the tragedy they planned for Betty.

Would Mario go as far as to do this? I mean he did tell Armando to destroy the letter, didn't he? He didn't want any trace of it for Betty to find.

Now the missing piece is, why didn't Mario tell Sandra to not let anyone go into his office and especially grab the blue package on his desk? Because let's be clear here, when he ordered Betty's birthday present he told Sandra that a package would arrive for him and to not open it.

Why didn't he do the same thing this time?

AAAAAAAAAHHHH My writer brain will not let me rest in peace until I figure this one out and I need y'all's help and cooperation for it because I cannot write the post about the letter unless I know this!

Like I sort of understand why he wrote the letter. I get that part and in a weird way understand his side, wrong as it may be, it explains it, what I don't understand however is why he was so careless and stupid about the letter.

I mean to basically simplify this post Mario wrote the letter because he truthfully believed that Armando would screw it up, not only by forgetting to gifts, the cards, the cheesy routine he had developed but because he also feared that Armando would let the guilt get to him and confess everything to Betty so he writes this cruel letter and tries to remind Armando of the consequences of their relationship ever becoming public, right? Not with words but by being cruel to a new level.

The letter has a purpose in the story, I just don't get why he was so careless about it.

If anybody has any other ideas, theories, or suggestions let me know so I can write the post!

#ysblf #yo soy betty la fea #mario calderon #mario ysblf #armando mendoza #betty la fea #don armando #armando ysblf #beatriz pinzón solano #beatriz pinzon solano #betty ysblf

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nightswithkookmin · 3 years ago

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PRIVATE CONVERSATION

I'm running out of titles for these things.

I like responding to chats here because there's so much space for me to work with and I can gather all my thoughts in one place before hitting send. DMs feel limiting and sometimes you hit send before you are ready and you can't go back to tweak things- also it's my corner of the internet and I can do whatever I want😊

Before we talk just play this in the background or something.

youtube

Trust me it's good...

Just don't look up the lyrics 😥

I'm scared of the lyrics he'll come back with from the military. I really am🤧

I'm just gonna manifest same from Tae and Jimin and frankly bts. I'm tired of the we are the world lyrics they keep throwing at us🙂

Oh here's a performance I stumbled on

youtube

Just in case audio is not your thing😉

A. Jimin's birthday

Lol. No I don't think I'm really worried about Jikook more so than I am Vmin, Jinmin, Minimoni. Jikook is the least of my worries.

Do I expect Jungkook to post for JM's birthday- Hell yea the fuck? Like who does he expect to love on his boyfriend for him?

If I have to post for Jimin I'm snatching him and shipping him with myself🙃

And this may sound incriminating but I'll tie Jk's leg down while Jimin tickles him till he pees on himself and we will take a snapshot of his wedgie, post it online and tag Lisa, Yeri and Mijoo in it😌

I remember saying this last time that I feel a big part of the reason someone like Tae would CHOOSE not to post publicly for a member is because of certain shippers who romanticize his relationship with certain members💀

I said this for Jk and I'll say this for Tae, disengaging is one way they take back control especially when they feel overwhelmed by the fact there's too much public scrutiny or interference in their personal lives.

For Jungkook it's the back to back scandals and people blowing that whole Mijoo thing out of proportion coupled with the members' *over censorship* within that period in my opinion.

For Tae I don't know what happened in his trajectory between September last year and December 2020 but he went from saying he loved showcasing his chemistry with the members, from teasing Jungkook in an interview on his birthday and exposing the fact he was the one who bought champagne for JK on his birthday- a fact he willingly contributed himself without which no one would have known what he did for JK on his birthday besides the Twitter post- to now saying in December he preferred to keep something he'd done for Jin private- even though Jin had said he felt Army ought to know and subsequently not posting for these members.

And yes he really does love to showcase his chemistry with the members- even to this date- like hello, TFM 2021!

And he is constantly confessing he likes Jimin too to this date and I believe him🤣

Don't know why he would consistently use Jimin as his muse and write songs about him if he wasn't emotionally attached or at least fascinated by him🤷🏽‍♀️

- unless he's been over compensating for something all this while...

I won't be surprised if these members are actually in on the charade or whatever this not posting for members is and they akekeke behind closed doors whenever we come lamenting through the streets because A didn't post for B💀

Tae Kook I'm looking at you and your bro fist hand shakes👀

Felt like two people coming together to ruin a ship for me and that scares me😓

If anyone is gonna mess with us it's those two clowns and their partner in crime agenda. Jikook too what's up👀

They love us but sometimes they legit wanna smack the back of our heads you know🤡

I don't know how many times they want him to say get out of your imagination before they stop infantilizing him and imposing members on him in ways he don't want to be imposed on.

FREE TAEHYUNG.

While we are on the subject of Taehyung and ships, I need to rant about something... done.

I guess what I'm saying is, I do expect JK and V to post on this birthday. If they don't that's fine. I can understand for V and as for JK, dude dipped off the surface of the internet the instant the fandom started acting funny and his recent FTC scandal isn't helping the situation.

Jimin is either about to become a casualty of our toxic fandom like RM was or he about to get on his fuck y"all I'm gay shit🤣

The fact JM himself seem tired of the shit in the fandom isn't boasting my confidence either. I can't trust him to whoop Jk's ass if he don't post for him. He'd be the one saving posts of shippers crying online about Jk not posting for him and laughing his butt off while spooning JK at nitght.

And contrary to what some of you say I really do believe Jimin does have a say in these things. If Jk tells him, honey I don't wanna deal with the fandom toxic ass right now so don't expect a post from me, he's prolly gonna say no worries bro just blow me out later and handshake on it.

That said, I'm not above groveling and throwing tantrums if they both don't post.

Most definitely I'm gonna pout😊

Y'all get used to it😙

B. JK'S FTC ISSUE

Ahh... this topic.

Like I said before, Jk is a brand and that brand is owned by BigHit. I don't know what is in his contract and whether or not the company has full or partial control over his brand.

I like to think each member has a slightly different contract from eachother under BigHit that caters to their individual needs and desires.

When Tae wanted to feature Jimin on a song on his personal project it wasn't allowed. But they've had features with artists outside of BTS and Jikook were featured on a Song together. Savage love didn't feature all the members either.

You can glean the nature of their contracts from their actions and the way they interact with other artists.

The point I made with those posts was that the only way Jk would be in trouble in this case is if he made fraudulent misrepresentations as the other allegations against him simply didn't have any legal merit.

And so far that is the same thing the FTC has said stating that for him to be held liable he must have made false claims or reviews and merely putting on clothes does not constitute deception.

His actions do not violate the fair trade act as I said in my first post on the matter.

Intention to deceive is a bit tricky- often a person's intention is determined by the logical consequences of their actions.

If you throw a knife at me it really doesn't matter your actual intentions because logically throwing knives at people will injure them. You can't throw a knife at me and claim your intention was not to harm me. And if I end up dead then goodluck defending your murder charges in court.

If he made a statement about his clothes knowing it was false then he'd be in trouble regardless...

Also I really don't feel comfortable talking about this bit because you just never know who will take this and use it to make an argument against him💀

Don't worry JK. I will protect you🥂

The problem here is, the FTC cannot require artists and influencers to give a disclaimer or disclose information about the clothes they wear even if them merely wearing it advertises such clothes.

This whole under the table advertisement law is funny to me.

On one hand I see the problem they are trying to fix but at the same time the problem is so nuanced it's gonna be hard to legislate.

If people buy clothes their idols wear without them having to say anything about the brand then all companies have to do is pay these artists to wear certain clothes during their lives or even consume certain items on their live and that item will sell out.

Jungkook has a reputation of the sell out King in S.K and his lives are watched by millions of people. He's gonna be a hotcake among brands and if that's the case then that means BigHit would either want to step in and control what items and products are used by them in these VLives which would amount to too much censorship and control and would ruin the experience for the members. Isn't that what happened with his gcfs?? Not everything has to be monetized.

I see why VLive has that policy against showing brand labels during VLive now.

Now I'm scratching my head as to why they pace themselves with these VLives and whether that is by design or accident🤔

Remember when I was blubbering on about that this person wants to do a VLive but it seems the company is pacing them?? From Jin to JK to Jimin? Cough JMs birthday VLive. Cough cough.

Recently RM said the members don't come on live because they don't know what to say( unless that was a mistranslation)

Jk equally implied he wasn't prepared for a live but was asked to do one last year when he was rebelling...

I'm caught between thinking the members don't wanna do a vlive for XY reasons and the company pacing them for obvious reasons.

Y'all get creative and fill in the gaps for me because I'm 🤔🤔🤔🤔 right now.

Delulu gang Activate💥

I dont know bout you but I love it here on ship street. It's brain racking for me🤣

To sum up, Tae Kook are trolling us as usual.

Seems they found creative ways to tell us to get out of our imagination and they are shaking on it. The premier duo from hell🤧

Unless, the FTC expects idols to show up to broadcasts naked they better leave Jungkook alone. But if they wanna get him too they will💀

What else did you ask....

GOLDY

#Youtube

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lokis-army-77 · 3 years ago

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If You Please

Chapter Thirteen

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 6300

This is technically a reader insert but without the (y/n) and all that. She also has no name mentioned so feel free to imagine as you please.

Follow the reader through the events of the Captain America movies and experience her love for Bucky Barnes.

Warnings: canon typical violence

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Masterlist

My morning started off, as usual, I woke up, got dressed, and had a cup of tea before I left for work. The same monotonous motions I had gone through every day since I came to DC close to a year ago. The only thing that had changed was I was no longer sleeping under my bed and I saw Steve on a regular basis, as long as he wasn’t off on a SHIELD mission.

My commute to work was the same as normal also, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen, something big. So I went about my day as normally as possible. Until that night.

Coming home from visiting with Peggy I noticed that the whole building was eerily quiet. Hastily making my way to my apartment door I took out my cell phone and dialed Steve’s number. It rang a few times before he answered.

“Hey kid what’s going on?” He said cheerily.

“Steve, where are you?” I asked as I looked around the hallway, nothing was out of the ordinary but it still felt off somehow.

“I’m walking into the front door of the building, why? You sound worried.”

“I don’t know, just be careful when you get to your apartment. I have a feeling something is about to happen, I just can’t put my finger on it.”

“Alright, I’ll let you know if something is wrong when I get up there. I’ll call you back in a minute.” he hung up just as I unlocked my door. The apartment was quiet and dark, I flipped the switch and the kitchen lit up. Nothing seemed out of place so I cautiously went around to each room checking for anything that could be wrong.

After finding nothing I made my way back into the living room. Out of nowhere loud gunshots rang out. I ducked in front of the couch but the bullets never came. My eyes widened, they must have been meant for Steve. Slowly I crawled my way to the windows and peeked out into the dark night. There was someone standing on the roof of the building across the road. From what I could tell, he was watching Steve's apartment intensely, that was until Steve shot out of the window and through the window of the same building. The man turned to run and I lost sight of him. I hurriedly shot up and rummaged around my bookcase for one of the pistols I had hidden there. After finding it, I rushed downstairs and to Steve's apartment. The door was wide open and stood in the hallway was Kate, Steve’s next-door neighbor. Lying on the ground next to her was Director Fury in a puddle of blood. I looked at her confused, what was she doing here and with a gun no less. I brought my gun up just in case she was part of the problem.

“Miss. Rogers put the gun down.” She ordered cautiously while pointing hers at me.

“Why should I? It’s pretty suspicious of you to be in my brother's apartment with a gun, standing over the director of SHIELD, who just so happens to be bleeding out.” She sighted and ungripped the gun before slowly lowering it to the ground.

“I know this scene looks incriminating but I am Agent 13, I work for SHIELD and Director Fury assigned me to be Captain Rogers’ protection.” Her explanation came out slow and steady. I gave her a skeptical look before lowering my gun and walking closer to her. I turned my gaze to Fury who was unconscious on the floor. I bent down and looked over at him for the wound that was bleeding. When I found it I put as much pressure on it as I could without damaging it further.

“Call an ambulance, he won’t be with us much longer if we don’t get him to a hospital right now.” I heard her walk away and come back soon after talking on the phone. I kept most of my attention on Fury's shallow breathing and weak pulse.

The ambulance arrived almost twenty minutes later, I rode with them along with Steve, who had come back a few minutes prior. The hospital was bustling as they took Fury to one of the operation rooms for emergency surgery. Steve had called Natasha Romanoff while we were on our way, she met us at the hospital and stayed close to Fury at all times. Steve took her into the viewing room to monitor what was happening in the surgery. I stayed behind in the hallway to give them space to talk, but also because I didn’t think a complete stranger should be watching the surgery of someone they had only met a handful of times.

As I sat there in one of the chairs I thought back to what Steve had told me about the man from the roof. He said the man was fast and strong, I was thinking of some sort of super-soldier like us. He would have been since he was able to catch Steve’s shield, even if it was with some type of metal arm. No normal person would be able to walk away from being hit with a vibranium shield full force. Suddenly Steve came through the door. I stood and gave him a questioning look and he just shook his head. My shoulders hunched a bit at the confirmation. Fury had passed. I walked over to him and placed my hand in his and squeezed.

“I think you should go. I’ll be fine, I have to deal with some stuff here.” His voice was barely above a whisper as he talked.

“Okay, I’ll see you at home, you can stay at mine while your apartment is being searched for evidence.” I gave his hand another squeeze before turning to leave but he pulled me back.

“No. You can’t stay at the apartment, it isn’t safe right now. You need to pack a bag and stay somewhere else for a few days. Somewhere that can’t be associated with me, just in case.”

“I have somewhere I might be able to go but what about you?”

“I’ll stay at the SHIELD headquarters, there’s no need to worry about me. Now go, quickly.” I gave a firm nod and briskly walked down the hall to the elevator.

The FBI was everywhere around the apartment building. There were so many that it took me forever to reach my apartment without getting stopped and asked what I was doing there. Finally reaching my door I went inside and quickly started packing my largest suitcase with more clothes than needed. I also went and grabbed the second gun hidden in the bookcase along with the double-thigh holster. If there was going to be some sort of assassin, I was going to be prepared. There was just one last thing I needed before I left. Heading straight for my bedroom closet I tore the door open and got down on my knees. Feeling around I popped one of the floorboards loose and reached into the hole. I grasped the two metal cylinders, lifting them out into the light. I kept the bo staff hidden at all times, after waking up from the ice I had no use for it anymore until now. I reached my hand back into the hole and my hand hit a small velvet-covered box. I gently took it out and held it to my chest, then helped it out from my body a little way before opening it. There, gleaming in the dim closet light was Bucky’s mother’s engagement ring. I had kept it safe and hidden since nineteen forty-three. It was one of my prized positions and I knew the war front was not a place for it, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself if I were to lose it. I took the ring out and slid it onto my ring finger, it was weird but something was telling me I needed to wear it. I snapped the lid closed and hoisted myself up off the floor and shoved the disassembled staff into the suitcase and quickly zipped it up, sat it on the floor, and rolled it behind me as I headed for the door.

I got out of the building easier than trying to get in. Making my way to the curb I unlocked the car I had just recently bought myself so I didn’t have to walk to work every morning. I shoved the suitcase into the back seat and then made my way around the vehicle to jump into the driver's seat. The only place I knew I could possibly go was Sam’s, so that's where I went. It was almost three fifteen by the time I pulled into the guest parking lot in front of Sam’s apartment. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be mad at me for waking him up at such an inconvenient hour.

Grabbing the suitcase, I quietly walked up to his front door and knocked. I waited for a minute or two before knocking a second time, a bit louder. This time I faintly heard something behind the door just before it was harshly thrust open.

“What,” Sam spat out, eyes half-closed.

“Wow, is that any way to greet a friend in need?” I shot back. He opened his eyes a little more to see who was actually at his door.

“Oh, it’s you, sorry about that. I'm not really a fan of being woken up in the middle of the night. Why are you here, what’s the matter?”

“Well, in short, I think some type of assassin is after either high ranking SHIELD agents or my brother, and the Director was just shot in Steve's apartment. Steve didn’t think it was safe for me to stay in the building, given that I live above him. So I’m here to ask if it would be okay if I stayed here for a couple of days while everything gets figured out.” He stood there for a second, then rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“I’m going to pretend like I comprehend what you just told me, but sure, come on in. You can tell me again in the morning when I’m not half-unconscious.” He opened the door wider and I made my way into his home. He led me up the stairs and into the spare bedroom. “Make yourself at home, I’ll see you in the morning.

“Thank you, Sam. Good night.” I called out as he slowly shut the door.

The next morning I woke up around eight and decided to call into work saying that I couldn’t come in on the account of my apartment being broken into. A little white lie wouldn't hurt. Sam wasn’t home, he was probably on his morning run, so I decided to surprise him with breakfast when he came back, as a thank you for letting me stay for a few days.

Rummaging around in the pantry and fridge, I was able to find ingredients to make pancakes, bacon, and scrambled eggs. I was halfway through the second batch of pancakes when Sam strolled in through the back door.

“Hey, what smells so good?”

“It’s breakfast. It’s the least I can do to thank you for letting me stay for a while.” I scooped up two pancakes, eggs, and a strip of bacon onto a plate and handed it to him. “I hope you like the pancakes, they're my special recipe from the forties.”

“You didn’t have to do this. I’m always glad to help, no thanks needed.” He grabbed his fork and started to dig in. Nodding his head as he chewed, I looked at him expectantly. “Wow, these are really good.”

“Thank you, I know.” I grinned. He shoveled a few more bites into his mouth before he turned his attention back to me.

“Okay, so what’s this about an assassin and why do you have to stay here?”

“Well, when I got home from seeing Peggy last night something felt off in the apartment building. I looked all around my apartment to see if anything was wrong, but everything looked fine. That was until some guy standing on the roof of the adjacent building shot into Steve's living room. Steve ran off after the man and I went downstairs to check things out, that’s when I found our neighbor, who apparently was a SHIELD agent this whole time, was standing over the director of SHIELD. We called an ambulance and took him to the hospital where he passed away. And since we have no clue who the assassin is after Steve wanted me to go somewhere I would be safe. That’s about it, I have a theory that the guy has had some kind of super-soldier serum like me and Steve because when Steve was telling me about what happened when he chased after him, the guy caught his shield with one hand and just stayed firmly planted on the ground.”

He looks up, fork halfway to his mouth, and says, “Dang, that's crazy,” then proceeds to eat as if nothing happened.

“Oh, is that all you have to say?”

“Well, what else am I supposed to say?”

I sat there for a second before nodding. “Okay, fair enough.”

We spent the rest of the morning lounging around until Sam went to work, I later met up with him at the VFW for the weekly group meetings. After that, we went back to his apartment and just talked and played board games to pass time until we were eventually tired enough to go to bed.

The next morning came quickly, I woke up significantly earlier than the day before, early enough to tag along with Sam on his morning run, which he wasn’t too happy about since I managed to lap him even though I was just jogging.

“Come on Sam, don’t be mad at me,” I said as we made our way in through the back door of the apartment. “I can’t help it that I run jog faster than normal people.”

“Yeah yeah, shut up. Here.” he tossed me a bottle of water before he grabbed the jug of orange juice from the fridge. I hadn't even taken a swig before there was a knock on the door we just came through. I looked to the door and then at Sam with my eyebrow raised in a questioning look. “Stay there,” he said as he sat the juice down on the counter and went to see who it was.

I watched from the far side of the room as he lifted the blinds covering the glass of the door, and there on the other side, as filthy as could be, was Steve and Natasha. Sam opened the door and let them in after Steve said something.

“Steve? What in the world are you doing here?” I asked as I walked closer to where they stood.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Sam is my best friend. That doesn’t explain why you are here.”

“We met a few days ago, he seemed like someone I could trust. Especially now that we have everyone trying to kill us. I’ll tell you more but can we get cleaned up first?” Sam nodded and showed them to the guest bathroom.

They both came downstairs about thirty minutes later after Sam went up to tell them that we had made breakfast. I sat down at the table in front of Steve and waited for him to fill Sam and me in on what had happened the day before.

“Well, for starters, SHIELD has been infiltrated by HYDRA, there’s no telling how many of the agents are compromised. They have been working on what Zola called HYDRA’s new world order.” Steve stopped to take a bite of food.

“Zola, as in Arnim Zola? I thought he would be dead by now.” I spit out in surprise.

“He is now, we think. He had his consciousness transferred to some sort of computer data bank. He’s the one who wrote the code on this,” he pointed to Nat who held up a small flash drive. “We would have found out what it was for but SHIELD launched a missile at us, destroying Zola and everything else around us.”

“Which,” Nat butted in, “leased us to the next question, who at SHIELD can authorize a domestic missile strike.”

“It would have to be Pierce,” Steve stated.

“Who is sitting in the most secure building in the world?” came Nat again.

“Well, he can't be working alone, there has to be someone else.” I put in.

“You’re right, but who? Zola’s algorithm was on the Lumarian Star.” Nat looked at Steve in realization as he said that.

“So was Jasper Sitwell.” She revealed.

“Okay, then how do the two most wanted people in the world kidnap a SHIELD officer in the middle of the day?” He looked at her with eyebrows raised.

“You don’t,” Sam walked over and tossed a file onto the table before continuing. “Consider this a resume.”

Nat flipped through the pages, “Is this Bakhmala? The Khalid Khandil Mission, that was you? Steve, you didn’t say he was pararescue.”

Steve just looked at the picture that was attached to the file, “This is Riley isn't it?” Sam just nodded, he had told me about his partner a few times before, but never really in much detail.

“I heard that they couldn't bring in the choppers because the RPGs were so bad, did you use stealth chutes?” Nat continued.

“No, we used these.” Sam handed Steve a closed file. I stood up and walked around the table to look at the contents.

“I thought you were a pilot,” Steve said.

“I never said that.”

“Well, I'll be the first to say that that wingsuit looks cool as hell.” I looked up and smiled at Sam, who gave a laugh.

“Sam, I can’t ask you to do this. You got out for a good reason.” Steve reasoned.

“Dude, Captain America needs my help. There is no better reason to get back in.”

“Great, I’m helping too. I know I said I wasn’t doing the whole fighting thing anymore, but you three can't take down HYDRA by yourselves.” I affirmed.

“Okay then,” Steve breathed out, “Sam where do we find one of these?”

“The last one I know of is at Fort Meade, behind several bars and some concrete.” He had a tone in his voice like it was doubtful we would be able to get to it.

“That shouldn't be a problem,” Steve and I said in unison.

We made our plan on how we were going to abduct the man named Jasper Sitwell. We knew he had a meeting today at The Occidental restaurant, that’s where we would make our move. Sam would be our man in plain sight, I would trail behind Sitwell to make sure he went to the right car and didn’t try to run, and Nat and Steve would be on the roof of a nearby building with a sniper pointed at Sitwell for extra precaution.

Before we left I made sure I had my bo staff with me and my guns in their holsters. Nat somehow did something to a burner phone she had that would make it appear to Sitwell that Alexander Pierce was calling him, that's how we were going to get into contact with him, without making a scene. And just like that, we were off to Fort Meade to get Sam’s wingsuit.

A few hours later, a little after twelve, we all took our places and waited for Sitwell to exit the restaurant, and when he did, I was ready. I was standing at the corner of the building on the right, closest to the car. His interaction with Sam over the phone was short before he started walking in my direction. He rounded the corner and was directly in front of me when I pushed myself off the wall in order to follow him to the car. I watched as he found the right vehicle, opened the back seat, and climbed in, shutting the door behind him. We had put the child safety locks on beforehand just so he wouldn't be able to get out and run. I made my way to the driver's side and plopped myself into the seat. Soon after, Sam slid into the passenger seat.

When we arrived at the building Seve and Nat were hiding in, I shut the car off and forcefully dragged Sitwell out of the back, while Sam ran off to start on his next part of the plan. Sitwell gave a few complaints before I silenced him with a look of indifference. Steve and Nat were waiting for us at the bottom of the stairwell, Steve took him from me and I followed them in ascending the stairs. Coming to the stop floor of the building, Steve pushed Sitwell into the door to the roof, the door swung wide and Nat and I followed through after them.

“Tell us about Zola’s algorithm,” Steve demanded and Sitwell quickly scrambled to his feet.

“I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Why were you onboard the Lemurian Star?” He interrogated further.

“I was throwing up, I tend to get seasick.” Sitwell backed up to the edge of the building almost typing over the edge. Steve Grabbed hold of his suit lapels, holding him still. When he realized he wasn't going to fall his face changed demeanor and he had a small smirk. “Come one Rogers, is this all to insulate that you’ll throw me off the roof? This isn't really your style is it?”

“No, but it is hers.” Steve stepped away from Sitwell and Nat kicked him over the small wall. I let out a short laugh as I watched him plummet to the ground. I backed up from the edge as Sam flew up and dropped Sitwell back onto firm ground. All four of us surrounded the man hyperventilating on the ground. He put his hands up in surrender before finally telling us what we wanted to hear.

“Zola’s algorithm is a program for choosing targets.” he stammered out.

“Targets like who?” I questioned.

“Like you, or Captain Rogers, Bruce Banner, some teacher in a rural town. It doesn't matter, it targets anyone who is a threat to HYDRA. It doesn't matter. It knows now and in the future.”

“What do you mean by the future, it can’t possibly know who will be a future threat?” He finally picked himself up off the ground and looked at me.

“How can it not? This is the twenty-first century, everything is online, from any type of official record to the smallest social media post, even phone calls. It knows everything. Zola’s algorithm studied people's past and present to predict their futures.”

Steve stepped up, “What then?”

“Then the Project Insight helicarriers scratch them off the list, millions at a time.”

“Steve, we need to go now. We have time to try and stop them.” I said. He looked at me and gave a quick nod.

He grabbed hold of Sitwell's arm and tugged. “Let’s go.”

We all rushed down to the car and piled in, it was a little cramped in the back with Nat to my right and Sitwell to my left. We were on our way to SHIELD headquarters. Sitwell was doing to me our ticket and hopefully our way to stop this strike from happening.

The whole drive Nat kept looking at the time flashing on the radio. I gave her leg a poke, then asked, “What's the matter?”

“The strike is set to happen in sixteen hours, we're cutting it a bit close.”

“I know,” Steve spoke up. “We’re going to use him to bypass all of the DNA scanners and access the helicarriers directly.”

“No way,” interjected Sitwell, “That is a terrible idea, are you crazy-” He was cut off by a thud on the top of the car hood. We all looked up.

“What the hell was that?” I blurted. Then, suddenly a hand went through the left window and grabbed hold of Sitwell, ripping him from his seat and throwing him into oncoming traffic. I let out a loud yelp of surprise. There was more movement on the hood before bullets came through the metal directly in between Nat and me. She surged forward and into Steve's lap while I pushed myself over into the seat Sitwell previously occupied. There was a slight sting in my upper right thigh where one of the bullets barely grazed me. I barely had time to brace myself when Steve pulled the gear shift into park and the car came skidding to a stop. I was flung into the back of Sam’s seat but I was way better off than whoever had been on top of the car.

We all looked out the front windshield as the man tumbled down the highway and caught himself. He stood up and stared us down, he looked terrifying in his all-black, metal arm shining in the sun and face covered up with a fast. I kept my eyes trained on him until we were hit from behind by another vehicle.

The force from the other vehicle pushed us into the ban on the highway and he jumped up into the air and landed back on the roof of our car. I grabbed one of the guns from my holsters and started to shoot blindly upwards, hoping I hit something. Then the same metal arm as earlier came crashing through the front windshield and tore the steering wheel from the car.

“Oh shit,” yelled Sam as the car started to uncontrollably twist and turn.

“Press on the brake, press on the brake” I yelled.

“I am,” he yelled back.

I looked out the back window and saw the man now squatting on the hood of the vehicle behind us. They kept getting closer until they rammed into us again, causing the car to swerve hard to the right. We ended up hitting the median wall and as we started to flip I heard Steve yell, “Hang on,” before he grabbed hold of Nat and Sam and they flew from the car. I on the other hand tried to keep myself from being tossed every-which-way as the car tumbled down the road.

Once the car had stopped moving I kicked the door off and crawled out onto the glass-covered asphalt. Standing up I stretched my arms up high to try and free my tensed-up mussels. “That freaking hurt” I muttered to myself. I got back down on my hands and knees to rummage through the upturned car for my gun and bo staff, which had been resting on my lap before all of this started. I found them quickly and made my way down to where the others were.

The mysterious man had hopped off the hood of the vehicle and was walking forward with a large gun in his hands. He lifted it up and aimed for Steve. He pulled the trigger and a grenade launched straight for Steve, who blocked it with his shield. He was safe from the blast but the force of it knocked him straight off the bridge we were on. I had no time to run to see if he was okay before a group of men clambered out of the vehicle and started shooting at us. The three of us left on the bridge scattered to hide from the fire. I clicked open the magazine of my gun to check the amount of ammo I had left. I had already fired off nine shots, so I had eight more shots plus the seventeen rounds still in my second pistol. I snapped the magazine back into place and took a deep breath.

I picked myself up off the ground and looked over the hood of the truck I was behind. There were seven of them about fifty feet away. I took another deep breath and fired, hitting one of them in the chest. I wasn’t quick enough in ducking back down, the metal-armed man saw me and shot another round in my direction. I flew backward off the bridge and into a parked car. I slid down from the side and onto the ground, catching myself on unsteady feet. It took me a second to get my bearings back but when I did I looked in the direction I flew from. The group of men were standing right at the edge of the bridge. I looked down to see what they were searching for, Nat was running under the bridge and stopped right before they could see her. She turned around and brought her arms up into the air and started firing at the men, who ducked for cover. As they did so, she ran for cover behind a bucket truck, I also ran to catch up to her. They came back up from hiding and started to shoot in our direction.

“Nat, we have to go now, there isn’t any cover here.” I grabbed hold of her alright arm and tugged. “Run, I’m right behind you.” She nodded and started running. I started after her but turned around halfway to shoot rounds off at the men until I was empty.

“Over here,” I heard a shout and followed it. Nat was crouched behind one of the many abandoned cars. I came and crouched down beside her. We waited silently until she gestured her hand behind us. I barely lifted my head up to see through the windows of the car, there he was, right in front of us. I felt her hand grab my wrist and pull me back down, right before an explosion went off. It had caught me off guard, but it hadn't affected her, she was ready for it because not a moment later she vaulted herself off the trunk of the car and onto the metal-armed man. They wrestled around as she wrapped herself around his neck, he almost threw her off, but he managed to stay on, shifting her hold with her legs so she could get a garotte around his neck. The man stumbled backward and into the car I was behind before managing to toss Nat fifteen feet in the other direction.

He started after her again but she threw something at his metal arm that sent visible shocks through it. The delay gave her enough time to run away, but this was my chance to have a go. I quickly but quietly made my way around the car and behind the man. I reached my right up around his neck fast and grabbed hold of my wrist with my left hand and put all my weight onto my left leg. This brought him down and I used the force of the downward motion to shove him headfirst into the car behind us.

He lifted himself up off the ground and aggressively turned toward me. I reached behind me where I had put my disassembled bo stuff in its holsters. I brought the separate pieces in front of me and conceited them together, ready to fight. I quickly lunged forward and struck my staff at his head but his metal arm came up and grabbed the staff mid-air and jerked it from my grip. He looked at it for a fraction of a second then back at me before flinging it away. Well, this isn't good, I thought to myself as he came barreling at me full force. I managed to jump out of his way, but he caught my right wrist with the metal hand and yanked me back. I stumbled but caught my footing enough to turn myself away from him and have my arm break free from his hold. Continuing with the movement I spun around behind him and kicked his left leg out from under him. He fell to the ground but caught himself with his hand and used that to spin himself around and kick both my legs out from under me.

My head hit the ground hard enough to make everything fuzzy. I laid there waiting for the man to come and finish the fight but he never came. In my disoriented state, I picked my upper body up and looked around but he was gone. After a few moments, my vision started to return to normal and I could see the man and Steve fighting at the other end of the street. I slowly got to my feet and looked for where my staff had landed before heading in their direction. They were fighting pretty hard, neither of them had a weapon, it was just a blur of fists. That was until the guy threw Steve into the side of a van and pulled a knife. He moved fast, aiming his strike at Steve's head, But he caught the man’s hands. The knife ended up plunging into the van as the two of them slid down the length of it. Steve managed to maneuver behind the man and grab him around the torso to flip him backward. This gave him enough time to grab his shield, which was embedded in the back door of the van.

They poised for a second before resuming their furious pace. Steve blocked the man's every attempt to hit him with the knife. I watched as he ducked another punch and came up, shoving his shield into the grooves of the metal arm. Steve reached his arm behind him, capturing the other man’s head, and flung him over his shoulder. He rolled a few feet away and the mask he was wearing fell to the ground. He stood up slowly and turned in our direction, his hair fell from his face and I felt the world stop.

No, that couldn’t be him. Steve said he watched him fall from the train. No normal person could have survived a fall from that height, but yet there he was, standing just ten feet in front of me. I took a few steps towards him and his eyes darted from Steve to me and I stopped for a moment. His brow was furrowed in a kind of feral way but softened a fraction when I called out his name.

“Bucky?” the sound came out in an almost sob.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” He countered, raising the gun he had in his hand. He never got the chance to fire it because Sam flew in behind him and kicked him hard in the back. Bucky went tumbling and I started to run for him. He stood back up and the look he had on his face was one of confusion before he went to shoot again, this time he was stopped by a grenade that was launched from somewhere behind me. When the smoke cleared he had vanished.

I just stood there in complete shock as we were surrounded by SHIELD Special Forces. They took my weapons away and roughly locked my forearms in thick metal cuffs and led me to an armored truck. I was the last one in and took a seat next to Steve. I could feel his eyes on me so I turned my head to him.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I just shook my head and didn’t say a word.

“What’s going on? Who was that?” Sam spoke up.

“That was Bucky, I watched him fall almost a hundred feet from a moving train in 1945. He was my best friend and her fiance,” he pointed at me when he said the last bit. “He looked right at me like he didn’t even know who I was.”

“That can’t be possible, that was almost seventy years ago,” Sam said in disbelief.

“It was Zola. Whatever he did to Bucky when his unit was captured is what helped him survive.” I thought aloud.

“They must have found him-” Steve started but was interrupted by Nat.

“What happened isn’t either of your faults.”

“Even when we had nothing, we always had Bucky.”

The somber moment was interrupted when Sam noticed Nat’s shoulder oozing blood. He turned to one of the two armed guards sitting in the back with us and said, “We need to get her a doctor, if we don't get pressure on that wound she’ll bleed out.”

The guard shot out their hand which was holding an electrified baton, but instead of hitting Sam they turned it around and struck the guard beside them. The other guard jerked before the first one slid and kicked them in the head, knocking them out. We all sat there confused as the first guard took their helmet off.

“Oh my god, that thing felt like it was squeezing my brains out,” she let out. We all continued to stare at her.

“Maria, what are you doing here,” Nat asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? I came to get you guys, we have important business to take care of.” She bent down on the floor and searched the knocked-out guard's body for the keys to our cuffs. “Now listen closely, when the truck stops I’ll use this Mousehole,” she held up a cylindrical silver tube, “to create a hole in the truck and road so we can escape. It will happen fast so be ready.” After she explained what was going to happen she went around and uncuffed us. I rubbed my arms a little, just to get the blood circulating again.

Then all of a sudden the truck jerked to a stop.

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theyarebothgunshot · 4 years ago

Note

I'm walking around all day doubting myself if I should mention to you since you have absolutely no answers and it's okay but it's my Cockles doubt striking me again with the most stupid arguments.

When Mish fell asleep in Jensen's room, should he feel so disoriented there and why did he miss his flight? But I also can't... like... answer it WITHOUT Cockles.

Also when Jared pissed Misha off while directing why did Jensen apologize on the phone? And not in person

You see? Stupid questions and doubts caused by a headache.

But then I remember all the other Cockles things and I can't unsee their relationship.

Sorry you don't even have to answer it.

Here's red tea - tea anon

tea anonnn you never bother me, so no worries! obviously i don’t have any absolutely sure answers for this, but i can share my way of thinking.

i always feel that when misha and jensen tell stories that involve the other, they are telling the truth for about 90%, but 10% is a fib. they want to be as honest as possible, but they can’t be 100% honest if they want to keep what they have under wraps. makes sense, right?

for example: when jensen and misha wore matching suits to the upfronts, and misha tweeted that they had a call that morning to make sure they weren’t matching, that was obviously and clearly a joke to indicate that they most definitely didn’t spend the night together nor did they choose to wear matching suits on purpose but in the end the way they handled it only made the situation more sus. which is telling imo. if you don’t wanna spark any debates on the nature of your relationship, you can just. wear different things. or don’t mention it at all. don’t deflect. etc etc.

so to come back to the situations you mentioned: when misha said he woke up in jensen’s bedroom, he immediately added ‘i was alone and missed my flight’. i think that he definitely woke up in jensen’s bedroom. but i also think that there is a possibility that he didn’t miss his flight, but he added that on to make it less suspicious. i have no proof of this, but even if jensen and misha were only friends, do you think jensen really would have left misha there all alone? because i don’t believe that for one second. i think from everything we know about jensen and how he treats the people close to him, we can conclude that that is not the kind of man he is. but if misha would have said: ‘jensen woke me up and we were alone in his room’ that would sound way too incriminating, right? so yeah. i think he probably lied about that part of the story.

same goes for apologizing on the phone. there is a good chance jensen apologized in person, but changed it to ‘over the phone’ as to not raise the suspicion that he would be hanging out with misha. especially because the story in question means that both jensen and misha were in a vulnerable position at the time of that conversation (talking about pranking/going too far/saying you are sorry) so in jensen’s mind that might have warranted a lie, even though it’s not uncommon for them to hang out outside of the show.

i hope this makes sense. after all, i am also just one person who is trying to figure out what’s going on. thank you for the tea <3 and sorry for the ramble lmao

#cockles #tea anon #Anonymous

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wellhellsbelles · 4 years ago

Note

Hii!! I'm so so glad you're back :3 your fanfics were truly my faves. I've had this idea for a fanfic where riley wants to ask farkle to prom but is too scared to do so, so she makes a deal with him that if no one asks them to prom, they'll go together, and something happens and riley has to confess that she wanted to go w/ him and asks him w/ a poster that says: you, me, prom?

ahhhh thank you so much for enjoying my stuff and thanks for the prompt! i hope you enjoy this little fic :)

“So, are ya gonna do it?”

Maya’s face pops up as soon as Riley’s shut her locker door, eyes sparkling in a puckish sort of way that can only mean trouble. Riley clutches her AP Literature textbook against her chest, a brow raised.

“No.”

Maya groans.

“You promised! You told me that today would be the day! You said, and I quote, “Maya, if I don’t do it on this date, you’re allowed to make me buy you something from my mom’s restaurant for a month.” Look, I even have proof of you holding up the calendar with the big red circle outlining today’s date!”

Riley’s best friend whips out her phone, swiping through pictures until she finds what she’s looking for. She holds it up as if it’s incriminating evidence, but Riley doesn’t much care—well, she does, because that picture she took is downright unflattering and should be deleted immediately.

“Let me see that,” Riley demands, and Maya hands her the phone, clawing at her when she trashes it.

“Hey!”

“No one needs to see that picture, Maya. I’m trying to forget what my haircut looked like at the beginning of the year.” She begins to walk off, trying desperately to ignore Maya’s prodding to no avail.

“Riley Matthews, are you going to chicken out? I thought Matthews don’t quit,” Maya says, grinning when it stops Riley in her tracks. “Ha! I got you there.”

Riley moves to make her rebuttal, but the warning bell rings to alert them that they need to be heading to their next class, so she simply rolls her eyes, waving goodbye to Maya as she heads in the opposite direction.

“We’re tabling this, Matthews! Don’t think I won’t let this slide!” Maya calls out. Riley shakes her head, sighing as the weight of anxiety starts to lift.

Yeah, she’s aware she’s a coward. But she’s not about to do it—there’s being brave, and there’s being absolutely idiotic, and if she did go through with it?

It’d change a lot.

She’ll take the chance of being a coward any day over spilling her guts.

Riley’s never been one to believe in coincidence, so when Farkle swings through her window effortlessly later that day, she can’t help but damn fate a little.

“Alright, you, me, AP Literature. Now,” he says, tossing his bag onto her floor and landing on her bed with a thud. Riley pushes her feelings way down inside her, swallows them until she’s able to pretend they’re nonexistent, and glances up at him.

“Why does it feel like all you ever come to me for anymore is AP Lit stuff?”

Farkle scoffs.

“Please, we had a horror movie marathon last weekend. Plus, I brought a bribe. You do still take bribes, right?” he asks, pulling out a bag of sour gummy worms.

“Your bribe has been accepted. Gimme,” she thrusts her hand out, making a grabbing motion. Farkle laughs giving her the bag. She tries to tear it open with her teeth when she can’t rip it with her hands, whooping triumphantly when it tears.

“Don’t hog those. I want some, too.”

Riley wants to tell him he could bugger off, but she knows that sentiment would be null and void. She’d rather give up an arm than force him out of her space, and if that meant sharing his gift of sour gummy worms, she would.

“Leave the—”

“Blue-red ones, I know,” he finishes cheekily, pulling a couple of yellow-red ones out and plopping them into his mouth.

“So, AP Lit?” she asks. Farkle pulls out his textbook and notebook, settling himself comfortably on the end of her bed.

“Am I allowed to say I don’t love poetry? Because this class makes me not a fan of poetry,” he says, nose curling as he reads a question, “Why aren’t there any good science poems?”

“There are, you just aren’t looking for them,” Riley tells him simply.

“Lies. Name one off the top of your head right now,” Farkle jibes, throwing a gummy worm at her.

“The Old Astronomer by Sarah Williams. ‘I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.’ If I ever did get a tattoo, it’d be with that quote,” she answers, picking the gummy worm off herself and eating it. She looks back at Farkle, who remains . . . unconvinced.

“Pretty quote, still not interested in poetry. I think it’s the form.”

“Okay, what if I told you to look at the scientific method steps like a poem? Because it basically is. BOOM, exploded your mind with hot knowledge!”

“Riley, please. Don’t ruin science for me.”

Riley sticks her tongue out at him, gently kicking him in the thigh with her foot as she settled comfortably into against her pillows. She’s already finished her AP Lit homework, onto her AP Chemistry homework now, but she’s always ready to help Farkle when he needs it. The degree to which she’d drop everything for him, just for him, is downright . . .

Embarrassing.

But she’s learned to take it in stride. There’s something about his presence that always makes her feel a certain sort of way now, but she just reminds herself that this is Farkle, her best friend since she was five, and there’s nothing to be scared of.

Then Maya texts her, and she remembers what it is exactly she’d been fretting.

i know the minkus boy is at ur house!

he just sent me a snap of u

u look like ur having a midlife crisis on ur bed there

better fix that by

i dunno

ASKING HIM THE STUPID QUESTION

Riley shuts her phone off, tossing it to the side to return to her Chemistry textbook.

Chemistry! She’s supposed to be studying for chem, and she will not—it’s absolutely out of the question—say the question that’s in her head.

I thought Matthews’ don’t quit.

Damnit! Maya’s right, Matthews’ don’t quit.

They shouldn’t.

“Farkle?” she calls out to him, ignoring the way he’s mussed his hair in an adorable fashion from being fraught by the poems laid out in front of him.

“Yeah, Riles?”

“So . . .” Just ask it. Ask him, you dummy! “Uh, are you going with anyone to prom?”

“Oh,” he blinks, as if not anticipating the question (he probably wasn’t, come to think of it), “No, not that I’m aware of. Why do you ask?”

Here goes nothing.

“Youwannagotopromwithme?” Riley blurts all at once, the words rushing out of her mouth like vomit. Farkle stares at her, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times as if he’s trying to gauge if she’s serious or not. In fact, the longer he doesn’t talk, the quicker Riley tries to think of a way to recover from this, because ABORT MISSION ABORT!!!

“You know, if no one else asks you? Or you don’t ask anyone else? We can just go as friends,” she supplies, chuckling nervously. Something flashes across Farkle’s face, something that Riley thinks is akin to disappointment, but as soon as it’s there, it’s gone.

He shrugs.

“Sure, why not?”

Riley sighs with relief.

“Okay, cool. Just let me know, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.”

The night does not return to normal after that. In fact, it’s awkward up until the moment Farkle swoops back out the window with a goodbye and a half-hearted smile. As soon as he vanishes, Riley collapses face-down into her pillow, screaming into it out of pure frustration.

We can just go as friends.

Who is she?! That’s not what she wanted at all, but she chickened out because Maya was freaking right!

But if she had seen the look on his face before she added that . . . Riley made the right decision. She’s sure of it, because if she had been serious?

That’d probably be it, friendship over.

It’s . . . it’s better this way.

She’s certain of it.

. . . Right?

“So?” Maya asks as she arrives beside Riley’s locker the next morning, their usual meet-up. Riley groans, leaning her head inside the locker.

“I asked him and then added just as friends when he didn’t respond right away. So, you know, I kind of asked.”

“Just as friends?!” Maya screeches at her. Riley places her hands on her own head.

“I know! I know. I wasn’t able to go to sleep last night. It was a stupid thing to do anyway, it just made everything a billion times more awkward. Why did I let you talk me into this, Maya?”

“Alright, did he say yes to that, at least?”

Riley nods her head.

“Okay, good. We can work with that. We’ll just have you romance him at prom, no problem.”

“What do you mean ‘no problem’? Yes, problem! I am not doing that, Peaches. I’ve humiliated myself enough for one lifetime. I think I’m going to opt out of prom, maybe bow out of senior year in disgrace or something.”

She hears Maya exhaust a long breath before she’s helping Riley out of her own locker, spinning her around and resting her hands on her shoulders.

“Riley Matthews, you are letting your feelings for a boy get to you too much. Yeah, he’s Farkle, but you’re Riley. You’re magnificent and amazing and if he doesn’t like you back? That’s his loss, because he missed the mark.”

“Thank you, Maya,” Riley smiles softly, hugging her best friend. Maya hugs her back and then releases her, giving her a look that can only mean trouble if Riley knows her well enough (and she does.)

“Okay, you know what? This whole ‘friends’ thing isn’t going to work. I need you to ask him out for real, because I know you’ll hate yourself for it if you don’t. I know it’s a hard thing to do, but you know better than anyone about making hard decisions. So do me a favor and ask him again by the end of this week—properly, mind you—and then the two of you will live freaking happily ever after because if I know Farkle, he’ll be hard pressed to say no. That boy has spent too much of his life in love with you. It’s not any different now.”

Riley allows herself to soak that in.

Is Maya really right? He did love her, but Riley’s not certain that was a real type of love. But then again, Farkle’s never been one to half-ass things. He’s loved her so many ways, so why not love her the way she loves him now?

“I’ll do it,” Riley agrees against her better judgement.

Wednesday passes. She doesn’t ask Farkle to the prom. Thursday passes. She doesn’t ask. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all whirl by her quickly, but she still hasn’t mustered the courage to ask. Even after the wonderful pep-talk Maya gave her, Riley still couldn’t find it in herself to breach the subject with him because she was just scared.

Liking Farkle really scared her, and she didn’t like that at all. Because scaring her meant that these feelings were more than just a passing phase, that she was bound to be stuck in this limbo of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not for the rest of forever until she broke it.

So Sunday night she plans to ask him Monday at the end of school, even gets Maya in on it so that she can’t back out again.

She can’t back out this time; she won’t do it.

When Monday rolls around, Riley thanks whoever is out there that, while they share classes, she and Farkle don’t share the same class periods. It’s what’s helped her endure her second semester of senior year; while she appreciates having him there, she’s not sure she wouldn’t waste her class time glancing at him across the room.

Her last class period of the day moves both fast and at a snail’s pace, so when the bell rings it surprises her so much that she takes her several minutes to gather her things. Riley’s never been more off her game in her entire life, but then again, she’s never had to actually ask Farkle to prom for real before.

(Well, she’s never had to ask Farkle out period. That was always his game, not hers. Too bad she can’t get pointers from him.)

Riley heads out to meet Maya at her locker, passing by the stragglers who haven’t made it out yet, but something catches her eye instead.

It’s Farkle, at his own locker, with a girl who has people standing with her, holding several letters decorated with fake flowers spelling out PROM.

Riley’s too late.

PEACHES

where were u???

i stayed at ur locker

like we planned

i even asked farkle if he saw u

he said he didn’t

so something happened

pls tell me ur okay ☹

Riley doesn’t bother texting Maya despite knowing she owes her best friend an explanation. She’s too busy wallowing in self-pity and the humiliation of rejection to deal with anyone right now.

She should’ve been quicker. She shouldn’t have been a chicken about it and just told him about her dumb, stupid feelings and gotten it over with. Anything at this point would be preferable to the sting Riley feels in her chest when she thinks about how she missed out on not just being Farkle’s date to prom but experiencing prom with him. It’s not the same without him by her side.

So no prom for Riley Matthews. She cashed in on her one chance at going Junior year, and as far as Riley was concerned, this probably meant her chance with Farkle, too.

But fate is not as kind to her, because Farkle climbs through her window, landing on the cushions of the bay window bench with a soft thud.

“What the heck,” he says, breathing out a sigh of relief when he’s spotted her, “Maya and I thought you died in a ditch! What were you thinking?”

Riley has no response for that. In fact, she’s pretty certain her brain’s shut off entirely for the foreseeable future, because in no way had she planned on encountering Farkle for as long as she could hold it off.

It’s now or never, Matthews, a voice that sounds vaguely like Maya whispers in her mind. Riley exhales.

Right.

“Are you going to prom with that girl?” she asks instead, eyes set with determination. Farkle stares at her, bewildered.

“What?! Your response to Maya and I worrying about your safety is some trivial question about prom?”

“It’s not trivial to me!” Riley exclaims, the burn of embarrassment bubbling up out of her. The intensity of her words must cross Farkle’s radar, because his eyes are widening.

“Riley? What’s going on?”

She makes a decision then, unable to fight with these godforsaken feelings any longer. She tosses the poster she’d worked painstakingly on for hours onto the bed, gesturing to it brazenly.

“I was going to ask you to prom for real today. I know I made a joke of it the other night, but I really meant it. I wanted to go to prom with you because I like you, Farkle. I’m tired of ignoring my feelings and pushing them away because I think it might benefit you. These feelings I have are real and they’re not going away any time soon, okay?”

Farkle’s eyes shift over to the poster, eyes tracing the words over and over again, as if it’s taking him a while to register it.

You. Me. Prom. Let’s do this thing?

It was hard for Riley to come up with a way to ask him that was both clever and meaningful, and she chose something that was between them and only them. He had once told her, “You. Me. Mars. Let’s do this thing.” It was always something that hardly meant anything to her back then but means the world to her now, or at least, it did before she realized she’d been too late.

“So?” Farkle asks, voice rough as if his throat had run dry. Riley tilts her head.

“What?”

“Are you going to ask me properly or not? We’re losing daylight here, Matthews,” Farkle says, arms crossed against his chest. Riley scoffs, rolling her eyes. She doesn’t quite get why he’s trying to be cruel to her at this point, but whatever.

“Farkle Minkus, I wanted to know. You. Me. Prom. Let’s do this thing?”

“Yes,” comes his answer, flowing off his tongue as if it’s the easiest thing he’s ever said in his life. Riley nearly jumps out of her seat but recovers at the last second.

“Yes?”

“Riley Matthews, yes, of course I’ll go to prom with you.”

“But—”

“No, I didn’t say yes to that other girl because I had already told you that we could go together. Sure I was kind of disappointed when you said it was as friends, but . . . you’re my best friend. It doesn’t matter what capacity our relationship is, I just want to be with you.”

Riley doesn’t get it.

“Wait, so what you’re saying is—”

“Riley Matthews, I’ve loved you since the first grade. I don’t think I ever stopped, really. So yes, I’ll go to prom with you as your date, because I’m so in love with you it isn’t funny,” Farkle tells her, giving her a gentle, lopsided grin. Riley scrambles off her bed the same time he rises from the bay window bench, the two of them embracing harder than she ever has in her entire life.

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you,” she admits into the crook of his neck. He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“It’s okay. You’re the same Riley you’ve always been, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

#riarkle #ask #riarkle fanfic #riarkle fanfiction #riley x farkle #farkle x riley #i should not have stayed up this late to finish this #but i was determined

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lionheartedqlf · 5 years ago

Conversation

text || Faberry

R: [233AM] It was easy to forget.

Q: [300AM] I'm sorry.

R: It doesn’t matter now.

R: How was dinner?

Q: It does to me.

Q: It was good. I guess.

R: Okay. I just needed to get that off my chest.

Q:Can I ask why you still wear it, or is that something better left alone?

R: I love you.

R: That’s why. It’s the only thing I have left of you.

Q: Oh.

R: If it makes you uncomfortable I can throw them away.

Q: DON'T

R: Ok

Q: Sorry. That wasn't supposed to be in all caps. And I'm sorry for the voice I took with you earlier too. It just slipped out because I still hate hearing you talk about yourself like that. But I know that's not my place anymore and I need to remember that. Because that won't be my place until I've made up for so much more than I think even you know.

R: I was saying what feels like the truth.

R: You wouldn’t have taken that tone with me in the first place had you believed it wasn’t warranted.

R: We can go back and forth all day on who hurt the other more.

R: I think we’re not meant to go there.

Q: I still do not have your consent to dom you and that is what I am apologizing for. Because we both know what that tone means and I am not your dom, you are not my sub, and as such I was out of line. For which, I am sorry.

R: I accept your apology.

R: Like I suggested, I can just throw them away.

R: It’s clear I’m holding onto them and I shouldn’t be.

Q: I don't want you to throw them away. You can if you feel you need to, but believe me, it is not what I want. But whether you know it or not, I was a bad dom to you. And until I can sit down and explain to you why I feel this, until I can apologize to you and make amends, I do not even remotely deserve to have you associate me with such. But that does not mean that, when all is said and done, I do not wish to be given a second chance.

R: I was bad to you in general. I’m trying to be better.

Q: I wasn't good for either of us and maybe you weren't either, but at least we're both working on it, apart.

Q: I hate to admit it, and if you ever tell them I said this I will purposefully buy a sheet of gold star stickers and burn it JUST to send the video of it to you, but your dads were right, to do what they did with us. To interfere.

R: That was not a very nice thing to say!

R: I’m going to plead the fifth.

Q: But you get my point, which is what counts.

Q: It's just something I personally feel, though pleading the 5th ONLY protects you from self-incrimination so... things to consider.

R: I’m not sure I could incriminate myself more than I already have. I’ve been doing nothing but owning up to my failures and mistakes.

R: They didn’t have to make you leave me.

Q: You and me both. You and me both.

Q: Yeah, they did. NOt because of you, but because of me.

R: I don’t know what to say to that.

R: I should be sleeping but I can’t stop thinking about you.

Q: I'll explain later, it makes more sense in context of everything I know now.

Q: I should also be sleeping, but not sleeping because I'm thinking about you is common.

R: Fine.

R: I know that feeling.

Q: Believe me, it's not the kind of conversation one can have over text. OR so says my sponsor...

Q: Would me not texting you help?

R: I’m not asking you to text me anything. I was simply complying.

R: I just found out for myself you’re actually alive. I don’t know what I want right now.

Q: I know, but I've learned telling people the reminders I need to keep for myself is helpful in actually getting them to stick. Accountability and all that. Still not that great with it.

Q: Okay. Well, I'll be here, if you still want to text.

R: I get it. I try and do the same.

R: There’s no such thing as great

Q: Yeah but saying "not that great" is better than "completely terrible" so... little things.

R: You’re right. Thanks.

R: Little things turn into big things to be proud of most of the time!

Q: Yeah, they do. Doesn't matter how big the step is, as long as you're making it in the right direction.

Q: Which is why "12 step program" is a misnomer

R: Seems misleading and stressful

Q: I mean, it's 12 sets of things you should do but it's more like floors of a building and each stairwell is located in a different place on each floor, cos each individual "step" tends to have a lot of little parts and then you have to navigate from the end of that "step" to the next one and it's not always the easiest thing to do.

Q: So, yeah, it can be stressful.

R: So it’s not really 12 steps?

Q: It's like those math questions with like parts a through f or whatever. It also isn't the best system as it's highly biased and religious but I like parts of it.

R: Sounds frustrating. To me anyways.

R: That’s all that matters though, that you like it.

Q: My sponsor is cool. He only abides by the idea of knowing you've got problems, doing what needs doing to help yourself heal, and making amends to those you hurt along the way, and then working to keep from backsliding and if you do, knowing how to move forward from that. It's less stressful and more open minded.

R: Sounds like exactly what you need.

Q: It is

R: How was the day?

Q: Lazy, mostly. Yours?

R: What does lazy mean to you?

R: Busy but in a good way

Q: Video games, some reading, music, a trip to the gym. And now Netflix with my cat.

Q: That's good.

R: I knew it wasn’t actually lazy.

Q: I don't know how to do proper lazy since getting clean. So, I improvise.

R: I like it.

Q: It's nice. I actually do Zumba, keeps me from overdoing it at the gym. It's fun, but I'm the only guy.

R: I do yoga for that reason.

R: It sounds fun though. I’m sure all the girls stare at you.

Q: The scars tend to scare them off.

R: Right.

Q: It's the kind of honesty that makes people uncomfortable.

R: I understand to some extent.

R: I’m sorry.

Q: Nothing to be sorry for.

R: Is the music fun?

Q: Usually, yeah. If we're talking about Zumba still.

R: We are. I am I mean!

Q: I mean, that's not to say I don't find the music I spend my free time playing not fun, but just wanted to be sure.

R: I’d hope what you do in your free time is fun!

R: I started taking singing lessons again.

Q: Sometimes it's more for catharsis than fun, but usually... I have a banjo now.

Q: Really?!

R: A banjo? What for?

R: Yes really.

Q: To play.

Q: I'm really glad to hear that.

R: That sounds fun!

Q: It is. I've even started singing again myself...

R: I’m so happy to hear that!!

Q: I sound nothing like I used to but... I'm not terrible, at least?

R: I hope to hear one day!

Q: I hope so too.

R: Really??

Q: Yeah, really.

R: That makes me really happy.

Q: Maybe next weekend we can do something?

R: I know of a place that does karaoke? That sort of something?

Q: As long as it doesn't get me near alcohol or drugs I'm down for anything. Just as long as you want to.

R: Hmm.

R: I’d like to see you. I would love to have you as my friend.

Q: We could meet in Central Park, talk a walk through the Shakespeare Garden? Something nice, public, and lacks any sort of pressure to come or leave together.

R: You always know the answer 🙂

R: Sounds perfect.

Q: I definitely don't, but I do have my moments.

Q: Saturday then?

R: Often with me

R: It’s a date!

Q: I look forward to it. I've missed you.

R: I’ve missed you too.

R: A lot

Q: If Saturday goes well, maybe we can figure out when will be best for me to apologize and explain myself. I don't want us to get too far into friendship and then blow it all apart because of that. If that makes sense.

R: Right.

R: I think that we should maybe talk first.

Q: And we can, if that's what you want. I just figured- we've only seen each other once in public since then and I worry about what happens if the second time we interact is in private, as the talk will need to be. Y'know?

R: What do you mean?

R: I’m not sure I can have fun with you before hashing out all the yucky stuff.

R: I dong think I’d like the fun being taken away.

Q: I don't know if I trust myself to be emotionally vulnerable with you in private and not do something I'll regret in the process, yet. I feel like I need more time to build up the right defenses for myself and I can only do that by being in public with you. I don't even know if that makes sense, but... I'm scared of slipping into old habits because of what we need to talk about.

Q: But if you don't want that I can figure something else out. Maybe you can plan to come by a couple nights this week just in case I can't do it all at once and then if you still want to be around me we already have plans for Saturday?

R: It doesn’t have to make sense to me.

R: I need to respect that. And I will. Saturday is fine.

R: Thank you for telling me.

Q: I... thank you.

Q: How about this. We do Saturday in the park and because Monday is labor day, we do something small together in public and then come back to my place (should we both feel ready) and have that talk?

R: That’s as long as Saturday goes well 😛

R: I can commit to that.

Q: Yes, but that was stated earlier so I wasn't going to repeat myself.

Q: Thank you, for even considering the idea of allowing me the opportunity to do this.

R: I want to know you again.

Q: I want to know you too

#i: rachel berry #t: rachel berry #t: all

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punkscowardschampions · 6 years ago

Text

Ali & Carly

Ali: Ich glaub ich spinne Carly: wtf Carly: do you want a drink babe? Ali: ze german, baby Ali: i'll say no but get why you're saying yes so early Carly: k more for me Carly: nobodys in a sharing mood today Ali: yeah? Carly: yea Carly: no fun Ali: Leben ist kein Ponyhof Carly: give drew a slap for me k Ali: it would be my pleasure Ali: can i ask how he's pissed on your parade from over here tho Carly: the boy played me Carly: he wanted me to beg for what id just given him the prick Carly: shouldnt have drunk this much this soon my bad Ali: he's a fuckboy Ali: you knew that Ali: my sister on the other hand remains frustratingly oblivious Carly: dont be mad at me Carly: ive been trying to get him to dump her this whole coach ride Ali: I'm not mad at you, babe Ali: no room with how much ugh I have for him Ali: well, hopefully she will him Carly: he thinks shes gonna fuck him in berlin Ali: prick Ali: won't when she finds out Carly: you cant say anything cuz i wasnt meant to Ali: Let himself fuck it up then Ali: he's not being subtle Carly: he cant do subtle Carly: me and him have that in common like Ali: Carly Ali: do you like him? Carly: why Ali: because I think you do Carly: it doesn't matter what you think Carly: he thinks she's girlfriend material & im a slag Carly: hes not wrong either Ali: If you like him, then you should say Ali: regardless, shouldn't let him be a cunt to you, and Ro in the process Ali: who the fuck is he Carly: ha Carly: i dont like anyone baby Carly: I'm just bored Carly: berlins a whole new party Ali: well, good Ali: one less worry Ali: I wish you the perfect holiday fling Carly: aw Carly: youre still the sweetest Carly: sure you dont want a drink while theres some left? Ali: need it now so fuck it Ali: chuck it over Carly: come over Carly: you kno youre the sporty one Carly: i cant be throwing things round the coach Ali: alright, you calling baby spice, I assume? Carly: or scary Carly: depends whos asking Carly: cant be posh tho Ali: yeah you can Ali: she weren't even and you can rock that pout just as well Carly: aw Carly: you should be baby tho youre the cutest Ali: little school all over again, we can't all be baby, lads! 😂 Ali: i'll be ginger, if you wore that iconic dress on your site, you'd get lynched Carly: yea Carly: & if anyone would cause drama by going solo its you Carly: Marlene been knew Ali: Ouch 💔 Ali: but fair Ali: Already thinking about her due to namesake birthplace but you really went there Ali: please tell me I haven't tanked as hard, not got Drew's fragile ego like but 😥 Carly: you kno im just mad youre not thinking about me Carly: dont listen to a word i say Carly: goldies got a fragile heart now too, so sad you broke up w me & stole his bf on top Carly: someone think of the golden god Ali: baby Ali: yeah, that's TOTALLY what the weird vibe is all about Ali: moody twat, soz a threesome is outta the question now Carly: he likes you too Carly: thats a thing Carly: playing like im the one hung up but he is Ali: Nah Ali: that boy don't know what he wants Ali: not down for him using my bestie and sister to find out though, fuck off and soul search like the rest Carly: he wants you Carly: but you got your boy & he shouldnt be trying to mess w Carly: meant to be his boy too Ali: so he reckons but give him 5 minutes before he weren't arsed Ali: don't trust him as far as I can throw him so ain't taking his word on that either like Ali: exactly Ali: 🐍 Carly: id leave him alone if he was happy being w her but i kno he isnt Carly: not letting him lie to me Ali: it doesn't have to be your problem Ali: or your job to make him happy Ali: knew it though Carly: ha Carly: it isn't my problem Carly: & i cant keep a job you kno Carly: couldnt do that one if i was paid like Ali: no one can babe Ali: not to be that hippie cliche about it Ali: but forreal, gotta do that shit himself Carly: its Carly: how he makes me feel sometimes Carly: not happy im not living that lie but Carly: its not nothing & sometimes its good you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i know Ali: but you can have more, if you want Ali: that is possible Ali: you don't have to settle for sometimes good Carly: youre sweet but youre a dreamer babe Carly: ive got nothing going on not in my head & not around me Carly: theres no more than settling down on the site or settling for being off whenever i can Ali: s'not true Carly: yea it is Carly: you dont want it to be but that dont mean its not Carly: me and that boy have more in common than not being subtle like Ali: it ain't Ali: doesn't have to be Ali: nothing is set in stone unless you pour the fucking cement yourself, like Carly: it doesnt have to be doing it but it can still get poured Carly: forget it tho Carly: im drinking on empty & feeling sorry for myself Carly: no fun in that Ali: ain't that fast drying Ali: dust yourself off and run Carly: where to babe Carly: nowhere to go but the coach bathroom Carly: been there done that Ali: well hang on a bit and we'll be in a whole new country, babe Ali: promise is a promise and we can start in Berlin Carly: but 3s a crowd when its not a party Carly: im not trying to mess you & your boy up Carly: cant tell drew off if i do Ali: nah Ali: it ain't like that Ali: not got the blinkers on and knowing each other's passwords and schedules Ali: got trust Carly: yea? Carly: got food too or Carly: cuz im gonna vom if you say no Ali: Yes Ali: Lemme food parcel Carly: if you havent lost the knack Carly: been awhile Ali: 😔 Ali: i'm soz Carly: dont be Carly: you kno i love you Carly: no drama Ali: i love you too Ali: and you would tell me if you needed something wouldn't you Ali: 'cos that ain't changed, i'm still here Ali: unlucky bitch Carly: unlucky for you Carly: shouldnt be on site unless theres something in it for you babe Carly: all i need is to remember breakfast before i get on a sess Carly: & to dilute my spirits sometimes too Ali: there is, you nutter Ali: there you go, who said school trips weren't educational? only on the bus and you're whacking out the wisdom already Carly: not as thick as i look Carly: ms woodfield was thinking it too i reckon Carly: she might kno but im still gonna blame the shit driver if i vom Carly: try and stop me bitch Ali: you look nothing but amazing hush Ali: she's down with the kids, she'll hold your hair back Carly: you hush Carly: trying to make me emotional in front of the front of the coach Ali: it's alright, join Millie Rooney and say you're homesick 😉 Carly: idk whats sadder everyone thinking im crying over an empty caravan or that prick thinking its about him Ali: 😬 i know what i reckon Ali: better dry those tears, babygirl Carly: get his phone for me tho yea Carly: i am mad he gets me & i get nothing back Carly: use the magic Ali: use my mad hacking skillz gotcha Ali: but should I use them for good and accidentally forward some incriminating shit to Ro? 🤔 Ali: this is why we're not meant to play God Carly: do what you must Carly: i trust you Ali: don't worry, sure you're not the only girl he's been chatting too Ali: no offense meant obvs but you know Ali: don't have to drop you in it, as if its your fault but idk, Ro isn't always willing to be entirely rational when it comes to him Carly: idc she never liked me much anyways Carly: better that than dropping some naive random in it Carly: everyones seen me naked if it blows up Carly: old news Carly: & the vid was good too i look hot Ali: hmm, good point on the random Ali: and I don't doubt that you did Ali: I'll have to think on this a bit harder Carly: k Carly: if everyone gets in my inbox ill kno Ali: god Ali: people are gross Carly: can be fun sometimes Carly: cant all be angels like you babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: you know i ain't Carly: i kno you are Carly: too sweet Ali: pot kettle baby Ali: but your secret's safe with me 😘 Carly: ha Carly: its no secret im only sweet to you so youre the only one who needs to kno Ali: 'cos people suck Ali: that's no secret Ali: not gonna waste your time, are you, like Carly: not as good at picking out the deserving ones as you Carly: no secret i fuck up more than i dont Carly: how many bad decisions can i make before berlin tho Ali: nah, you're just too nice for your own good Ali: you know he don't deserve it but people have made the same (wrong) judgment on you so you can't do it back Ali: to anyone Ali: even genuinely shitty people, or people who'd be better off for the nudge of nah Carly: now whos dropping the wisdom Carly: ill just screenshot those few sentences for my ma when she's on at me Carly: im a nice person bitch Ali: 💅☕ though Ali: i'll translate it into spanish for her if she's not getting the memo in plain english Carly: ha Carly: she got well excited cuz she thought berlin had a red light district Carly: thought she was gonna get in my bags Carly: one way to stop me fucking drew in the front row but Ali: pretending i didn't hear that last bit ew Ali: moving on Ali: she wanna get in the windows or like? Carly: she did get the sack so probs Carly: or she thinks itll be like magic mike the german dub idk Ali: oh honey Ali: every nights a hen night Ali: 🙄 Carly: imagine if theyd let mas and das on this trip Carly: i couldnt have come Ali: me either Ali: no one needs that Carly: your ma is so scary Carly: but shed put goldie in his place Carly: probs shouldve brought her Carly: keep me behaving Ali: she literally wants to murder him Ali: need a restraining order and more than mr murray and mr latimer to keep her back Carly: ha Carly: love it Carly: cant she break up the happy couple Carly: my da did me & this beautiful traveller lad that took my v Ali: 💔 Ali: is he married now Ali: if we're doing matchmaking Ali: but in answer, she learnt that forbidding something makes it 1000x more likely to happen and in more secretive, intense ways so Ali: I'm soz Ro, really fucked you over on that one Carly: idk my da literally moved them on Carly: threat of getting the law Carly: k but he still wouldnt be into it Carly: i feel bad for her Ali: ugh Ali: so romeo and juliet, baby you must've been so about it 'til he fucked it up that hard Ali: yeah, i know Ali: i'll figure out something Carly: i was only 12 so i did have the mindset Carly: worth it tho Carly: prettiest boy ive ever seen Ali: swizzle on that, goldilocks Carly: everyone wanted to fuck him Carly: the whole site was feeling the love Carly: fun times Ali: like a beatle was living in your back garden Ali: love that Carly: i peaked Carly: all there is now is a golden god who behaves like a idiot boy Ali: i mean, won't take offense 😒 sat right here and all but no 😉 Ali: there's a whole world of dick out there i promise you Ali: some attached to boys who don't behave like one Carly: ha Carly: you know you're my fave Carly: but youre sat next to him so I cant tell it Ali: 💚 Ali: won't even tell you who i lost my v to Ali: too shaming Carly: now you have to Ali: 😬😫 Ali: okay but then i'm going for a piss so i don't have to feel the pity Carly: baby id never feel sorry for you Carly: w my life come on Ali: you might sympathize though 'cos it was ronan Ali: why he got all weird, probs Ali: eurgh repressed memories flooding back in with the shame 😂 Carly: shit Carly: i told drew all first times are bad but wouldnt wish him on you like that Carly: oh ronan Carly: he better not have treated you like he did me Carly: ill fucking kill him like Ali: aw babe Ali: my hero 💪 Ali: you know what he's like but that shit is long in the past with us so meh Carly: im gonna cry Carly: babe thats sad Carly: & now ms woodfield is staring at me k Ali: don't cry silly Ali: is what it is Carly: im crying and planning murder Ali: you went there too, and other various dickheads, so where's my invite to this party? Carly: but youre perfect Carly: and it was your first time Carly: actual tears in the front row Ali: oh babe Ali: i'm coming over Ali: bog roll in hand Carly: youre too good Carly: im so sad Ali: 😇 that's you Carly: all you tho Ali: nu-uh Ali: you you you Carly: i cant argue cuz im blinded by my tears Ali: not the greatest victory I've ever then Ali: but I'll take it if you smile again Carly: waiting for ms woodfield to tell me i need jesus Carly: ill laugh then Ali: okay, i'll try and lead the convo and her like Ali: we got this, woody Carly: nah if you try and lead her anywhere itll only go one way Carly: teachers pet Ali: 😂 Ali: do you reckon she loves that everyone lowkey drools over her 'cos she's the right side of 40 Ali: or is she desperately job hunting like these fucking kids Carly: i can see in her eyes she loves it Carly: she hates me cuz i dont Carly: facts Ali: not 'cos you never do your work, nah 😏 Carly: & im drunk as fuck rn on her watch Ali: i mean Ali: if YOU were doing your job properly darling Ali: mad you beat her to it, they always get plastered on trips Carly: yea Carly: bet shed take nudes in the bathroom if she had someone to send them to Ali: ooh what teacher could she homewreck Ali: school trip always a perfect place to start an affair Carly: Mr O'Brien could get it if you were old Ali: good shout Ali: getting out my bow as we speak Carly: Mr Cork is alright too but he looks like he'd shower after holding hands Carly: weird Ali: I mean Ali: cleanliness is next to godliness Ali: dirty hoe Carly: ha Carly: you kno it Ali: might be a serial killer Ali: but you wouldn't catch nowt off him Carly: dont have to go home if he murders me Carly: scatter me in berlin lad Ali: 😨😭 noooooo Ali: even if i could go neeson and avenge you Carly: dont go neeson off set tho Carly: your boy wouldnt love the racism Ali: don't wanna be that bitch Ali: problematique Carly: enough bitches on this coach Carly: for once not looking at you ms woodfield Carly: we ever getting there? i thought getting wasted would make me less bored not more Ali: and lowkey racists Ali: all comes out the woodworks when you outed, that gay bashing all afresh like Ali: seriously, why couldn't we go on a plane Carly: & overt racists Carly: that cash tho Carly: how would the teachers afford to get wrecked if they blew the budget Carly: gotta blow each other first Ali: ☕ Ali: dickheads Carly: when goldilocks isnt the biggest twat on the coach tho Carly: idk what to do w that Carly: universe trying to make me like him Ali: give him time Ali: sure he'll reclaim his title 💪 Carly: he'd love a crown Carly: or a medal Carly: get crafting Ali: only if I can get biblical Ali: crown of thorns, you mean barbed wire, okay Carly: ha Carly: im tired come & nap w me Ali: okay boo Ali: as far as pillows go 😏 Carly: serious Carly: i dont wanna sleep on my own Carly: hate it Ali: i remember Ali: coming Ali: promise

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ts-nightingaleislands · 5 years ago

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Episode #8- “people are going to be blindsided and i'm people”- Vincent

Holy guacamole I feel terrible. On one end I have four people who decided to work together and on the other end are people they told I wanted out. I am at a bit of a loss here but I always like a challenge! I'm gonna go finish my thinking, see if it sticks, and go then voice it!

wow how am i even still here because of my strong social connections! just 7ish tribals until the end! that's so much...i have no idea what's about to happen over the next few weeks except that people are going to be blindsided and i'm people a big part of my pitch to rizo and chris was that cheatham is a threat and he needs to go...which is why now that we're all together i'm in an alliance with all of them, as well as austin and noah. this six is absolutely not going to stick together but i'm in the middle so when it falls i'm not taking the hit! annmarie and liam are cool as well, so ideally the merge vote is between sara and kyle. for me i would ideally keep kyle bc he seems less likely to try and blow up the game in a way which is bad for me, like i feel like he may help me down the line. so i'm going to try to push for that. however, neither annmarie or liam are worth saving at this time so if either of their names come up i'm going along with it this is the first time i've merged in nearly a year and i'm ready to overplay and flop!

Right now Im in an alliance with...Austin, Noah, Rizo, Vincent, and Cheatham by the name of Bottom Feeders. Tbh its just irony at this poiint I am going to end up working with people I wanted out but hey that's Survivor!

(LATER)

My plan of action is to talk with Kyle, consider having a aide alliance with him and Rizo where we get AM/Sara/Liam out and then have BF target Cheatham and/or Noah or whoever in F8/F7..stay tuned!

(EVEN LATER)

Mark my words, this week is going to expose Austin! He has Liam/AM/Sara wanting him and then Bottom Feeders so no matter how this immunity goes and tribal, he will be seen sketchy to somebody.

Wow, So last week I decided what was going on bc i have the idol. If Gwen knew how to stop talking then maybe i would’ve. ANYWAYS, this week. So I got put in three alliances. Big Time Thrush (which I was already in from pre merge) which consists of Me, Noah, Austin, and Vincent. Then there is Bottom Feeders, consisting of Me, Noah, Austin, Vincent, Rizo, Chris. Basically Rizo and Chris made that bc they are on the bottom. I don’t trust it at all. Finally, the one that i’m actually sticking with, is The Frock Destroyers, which consists of Me, Noah, Liam, Austin, Ann Marie, and Sara.... JK i’m not working with that. There is a secret 4th alliance that is the same as the last one but without Noah. I know Noah is probably reading this. Basically, I don’t like the way he talks to me. Outside of the game, I would LOVE to stay friends with Noah bc i’m sure he is a great person. INSIDE the game however, i do not appreciate when someone tells me to shut up, calls me an idiot, or tells me i’m stupid. That is NOT okay. He never listens to my ideas and he acts like this idol, is his. This idol is mine PERIOD. I was his puppet early on because i was so busy with life shit. But now i’m realizing the way he is treating me/ using me. And revenge is gonna be awesome.

Ugh....this is like trying to choose which puppy is cuter when both are identical!! It doesn't WERK! Fricken the only people I really trust fully is AnnMarie and Liam but we can't get on the same damn page. AnnMarie leans more towards Rizo/Chris/Kyle but I have DEALT with them and I know how they are. And it's been confirmed that Kyle won't split from Rizo...he said it on call that they're tight. I like Kyle...don't get me wrong...but he leaks EVERYTHING (so do I...but that's different, right?) and twists and turns things. Yes, working with OG Thrush is risky AF, but so is working against the idol and with a [new] trio, some of which have ALREADY voted for you. I mean...I've done this before where I completely flip on my old 'tribe' to work with the other side and I've won...so it isn't impossible. I also generally just don't click with the other side (as in Chris/Kyle/Rizo) as well as I do with the noobs....so even if they are tight....I'm either on the bottom of the original Petrel or the original Thrush. Noah fence....but I like Thrush better and would rather lose to them than Petrel. And that's just the way it is!

So we gave Sara immunity, I want to use it as strategy to possibly have her like me again but we will see if it works. As far everything else, Austin wants Kyle/Rizo gone. I dont know where it leaves me in his ideal pecking order but Im not waiting around long enough to ask.

(LATER)

Nah, Im not accepting this. Im not waiting for Rizo to be voted out to make mends either. Im gonna get this Petrel chat going and maybe it is the one thing that can save him and me. Im not putting all my eggs into the Bottom Feeders basket just yet and sure as heck am not a out to welcome myself to the bottom of the barrel so easily

Wow...a lot has happened. My alliance with Cheatham, Noah, and Austin supposedly merged with Chris and Rizo to create a super alliance. Guess how long that lasted? As far as I can tell, Noah is targeting Austin but tried setting it up to ensure Chris and Rizo take the fall, using information I gave him (not necessarily important info, but something which incriminates Chris/Rizo which I only told him). Austin heard about this, of course, because he's just so good at this game and everyone is gravitating towards him. I've been completely honest with him, so hopefully he has been with me. Originally the vote was supposed to be Rizo, with myself, Austin, Cheatham, Liam, AnnMarie, and Sara on board. This is why Rizo got vote against him at the challenge. However, Rizo has never targeted me personally. Comparing that to Noah, who I have heard from multiple sources was hoping that I was going to be voted out last round, voting to ensure this happened, and it was clear to me that Noah was the bigger threat to my game. Additionally, Cheatham told me things about how condescending Noah would be with him, so at that point I felt like I had to change the vote. Cheatham was on board with it, and I told Austin as well. Liam, Sara, and AnnMarie don't know (as far as I know) as of when I wrote this, but I really don't see a reason as to why they'd not want to vote Noah. After this, it's 9. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself, just to see how the dynamic is structured to truly figure out whether or not Noah is the best move for me. Liam-AM-Sara are essentially a trio, and they're all good with me bc I voted with them and included them all Chris-Rizo will be an even tighter duo, with Kyle as their auxiliary, and they'll all hate me. However, because I pushed the vote off Rizo (which is evidenced by the fact he got the vote at the challenge), I don't think it's fair to say that I ruined these relationships beyond repair, which I would have if Rizo left. Austin is still the most powerful guy in the room, but he's a powerful guy who fully trusts me. Cheatham has the idol, so keeping him on my good side is essential. To be honest, earlier flushing the idol was my top priority, but now I would not mind if he kept the idol for the rest of the game. Doesn't hurt my game, and as long as Austin is here, why would he take a shot at me? So I think it's fair to say that, based on my current understanding of the dynamic, I am making the best move for my game.

Im gradually realizing Cheatham is the answer. We majorly messed up by not giving him immunity and now I want to talk to him to fix it. Rizo doesnt want me to with fear that it could ruin things but like I cant just sit here and do nothing. He doesnt wanna talk to Austin, Austin doesnt want to talk to him, OG Petrel doesnt want to talk to us, and so really this boils down to us needing to persuade Cheatham. I dont feel right if I dont talk to explain how bad of a decision it was and I'll work to fix it but for now Im just gonna do what Rizo says and wait

Merge !! Wohoo this is where the game starts and I must say I’m playing hard. And it’s starting to backfire. Chris not voting AM out our first Petrel tribal really fucked me because it showed where I lied. I was trying to play both sides and unfortunately it’s biting me in the ass. It’s crazy cuz austin is doing the same thing but it’s working for him. I got last in the challenge because my name is being mentioned and the next target. Austin is clearly the snake and I can’t say I’m mad good for him but he is someone I need out. He mentioned my name to Kyle and with a vote on me already I’m assuming I have 5 votes to my name going into tribal. I know I have Chris and Kyle on board to vote with me. Noah is next to go so he is down to vote with me and I saved Vincent so why wouldn’t he vote me. That leaves 5-5 with cheatham being the swing. I’m trying to convince him that I got his back and I truly do he is a power player With that idol and is a great shield. He is upset he wasent granted immunity by our alliance and that is a valid reason but I don’t want that to cost me my game. Cheatham says he is going to try to take the target off my back but I really want him to vote austin out with Us to make it 6-5 blindside. It would be iconic to get out a big player like austin who is playing a Rob C type of game. It just sucks cuz if I go Kyle and Chris my go too guys are next and austin will steamroll you the end. If it’s my time I played the game how I wanted to play. I’m not going to quit until my torch is snuffed but looking at it now, I have a big uphill battle but if I can pull this off, it goes down in the history books.

(LATER)

Oh shit coming back to you with some great? News. Cheatham and austin came to me stating that they will save me and they want Noah out? Is that what I want? NOPE! Will I do that to stay in the game ? YESSIR! Obviously I want noah to stay cuz he is a shield for me and seems to want to work with me but cheatham says Noah has treated him like shit and austin dislikes him. At this rate I have to lay low and just let austin and cheatham make the move to save me. I’ll tell Chris to vote noah and make sure as much votes go to noah as possible. After noah leaves I can regroup and think of a strategy but tonight the goal is to survive no matter who goes besides Chris and Kyle. I need us 3 to stick together to have a chance. But I might have some life in this game !

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Am I a mess for telling Cheatham Bottom Halfs votes in the challenge? Yes. But if it keeps him more likely to want Rizo in then I'll take the consequences

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SOOO. OH BOY. I'm in a pretty good alliance with Sara, Liam, cheatham, and Austin. We are all working together against everyone else. I like the comfort, but it's clear that it won't last for long. Apparently Austin is working both sides, and it's just veryyyy frustrating not knowing if there's another plan you're not a part of. I'm doing pretty good developing the trust I have with others, and I'm happy with how I'm doing right now. I want to nap.

So much has happened! So glad that Gwen's elimination went to plan and even ended up unanimous against her, she would've been even more scary in this merge. I've been taking a deliberate backseat in this past challenge because it's messy as fuck & I'd rather everyone else take the heat at the end of the day, I've not heard my name at all & both sides are speaking to me decently regularly so I don't feel in danger at all tonight. I'm hoping the votes to get Rizo eliminated are there because as much as I like the guy he rarely speaks to me & I'm not keeping around people who refuse to speak to me, enjoy ponderosa!

As of now I think the Noah votes over. Noah conveniently is told and only 4 people knew it. So it tells me that Cheatham/Austin probably planned to set us up or something. So now I just want to get Austin to own up to things...which is unlikely

Fuck Kyle lmao chatting shit at tribal with his fake woke bullshit, I'm so over this tribal & I can't wait for it to be over so we can move on and get the rest of this game underway because there's so many more angles I wanna explore & I need the people I know I can't work with on the jury.

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9 votes Rizo, 2 votes Austin.

#announcement

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