#Who is still together from Love is Blind UK

[afabstract]

Love Is Blind: UK Reunion Reveals Who's Still Together

Six couples dressed in wedding finery in season one of "Love Is Blind: UK" to marry the love of their lives, but only three pairs said "I do!" The "Love Is Blind: UK" reunion episode reveals who's still together a year after the show.

Follow us on Twitter | Instagram “Love Is Blind: UK” had a pretty successful run—three couples ended up walking down the aisle, looking very much in love as they made their vows and promised to spend the rest of their lives together. However, getting married within a month of knowing each other comes with its own unique challenges. The reunion episode of “Love Is Blind: UK” takes a look at what…

[saoirseyun]

⸝⸝ x fem reader

‹‘ 🚬 ’›— trust/vulnerability

CW :: slightly angsty, sui ideation.

—The touch on sunlight oozing from the window blinds of Dazai's dorm laze on the surface of your skin free. Kissing to golden hues lightly shining—bold to highlight sweet specks of your dear body. Despite the careless, sensual feels clouding the atmosphere under sunny skies, how you yourself indulged on the comfort of his futon, a chilling numb bothers you deeply on dead silence towards uncomfortable. It just wasn't that however, is it? You knew it yourself personally but you couldn't point a finger on what really did made you feel so pent up. Loose breathing becomes evident, the touch of your own hands tugging aside messy baby hairs... "[name]?" A grasp reaches your shoulder, alarming—worrying. Dazai lightly reaching out for you at tender and warmth. Groaning, you could barely have yourself face him. "...Sorry, just thinkin' about things." Which is perfectly fine on its own! Insignificant or whatever it was, Dazai still probes you to tell him. You shuffle a reluctant look. "Well—you know..."

"...I can't exactly stop wondering about those countless tries at suicide." You managed to say, in a way that was unreachable—unapproachable. Conflicted. "You'll play around with your own life reckless with me and maybe others suffering the result... Won't you talk to me?" You ruffle your hands into a mess between your hair. "I could try my hardest to help, and—!"

"Don't take it too seriously."

You double take his words. Giving Dazai one last confused glance before disregarding those words completely rash. How your voice comes off as like a furious retort, alongside Dazai watching your movements being much more frantic. You sat up with an impatient look, waiting for him to reply... "I haven't found a method to painless death yet, there's not a chance of you losing me."

But you hate it. You hate how simple he makes it sounds. Why can't Dazai get it? Grief to over what isn't dead, right—you're too good at doing such. That's what makes this so terrifying. An empty stare from his face, some tension in his expression. There was no other way to put it so easily for Dazai to say. "Listen, [name]. It's hard for me to try and talk about this with you."

"It's best if you weren't involved at all."

You held his hands—suffering panic from hesitancy. Remaining silent. What were you supposed to tell him, just what or would it be enough even for him to reconsider? You're the worst.

"Bella... Can't we just enjoy now?" Pressing against bodies of one another, warped together in a single hug and doing nothing but appreciate closure.

"Now?"

Dazai nods, whispering quiet—"Yeah."

"...Just... Right before I die." You frowned when Dazai smiles back sweetly. Shutting his eyes and syncing together hand-to-hand.

"And who's saying you wouldn't die alone?"

A/N; there are suicide prevention hotlines that's listed below: USA, Canada, UK, other regions or countries reminder that there's absolutely no shame in seeking help. if you or anyone you know of struggle with any sort of suicidal thoughts or even self harm, please try and get in touch with the necessary support you or they may be needing. from south korea with love, ~수빈

12/18 for my valentine's special masterlist -— daily clicks

@emyyy007, @emmzai, @adventurinea, @moomuzan, @kissedloveletters, @skibididazai, @iams0up

[pers-books]

Acting legend Dame Joan Plowright dies at 95

Joan Plowright was made a dame in 2004

Dame Joan Plowright, one of Britain's most celebrated stage and screen stars and the widow of Sir Laurence Olivier, has died at the age of 95.

Her career spanned 60 years and included an Oscar nomination for the 1991 film Enchanted April.

She married Olivier in 1961 after starring opposite him as his daughter in The Entertainer, and became a leading member of the National Theatre, which he set up.

In a statement, her family said they were "so proud of all Joan did and who she was as a loving and deeply inclusive human being".

Obituary: Acting star whose first love was theatre

Laurence Olivier and Joan Plowright first appeared together in The Entertainer in 1957

'Grit and courage'

Her family said: "It is with great sadness that the family of Dame Joan Plowright, the Lady Olivier, inform you that she passed away peacefully on January 16 2025 surrounded by her family at Denville Hall aged 95.

"She enjoyed a long and illustrious career across theatre, film and TV over seven decades until blindness made her retire.

"She cherished her last 10 years in Sussex with constant visits from friends and family, filled with much laughter and fond memories."

They added: "She survived her many challenges with Plowright grit and courageous determination to make the best of them, and that she certainly did.

"Rest in peace, Joan..."

She had been retired for a decade, having lost her eyesight and been registered blind.

Born in Scunthorpe, Plowright became a leading lady in London's West End in the 1950s, and first appeared opposite Olivier in John Osborne's The Entertainer at the Royal Court in 1957.

He was still married to Gone With The Wind star Vivien Leigh at the time, and Plowright was married to her first husband Roger Gage.

Plowright and Olivier fell in love, and their acting partnership earned them both Bafta nominations for the film version of The Entertainer, which came out in 1960.

That year, Plowright also made her breakthrough in the US in A Taste of Honey on Broadway, winning a Tony Award for her performance.

Her other notable plays included George Bernard Shaw's Saint Joan, about Joan of Arc, in 1963, which for which she was named best actress at the Evening Standard Theatre Awards.

And she won a Society of West End Theatre Award - later renamed the Olivier Awards after her husband - in 1978 for Filumena.

She received another Bafta nomination that same year for her performance in the film version of Equus alongside Richard Burton.

In Enchanted April, her role as the elegant but peevish Mrs Fisher earned her a Golden Globe as well as a nomination for the Oscar for best supporting actress in 1993.

Nothing Like A Dame

Dame Joan was one of a generation of great acting dames, and appeared opposite Dame Judi Dench and Dame Maggie Smith in the 1999 film Tea with Mussolini.

More recently, she was famously seen reminiscing and enjoying repartee with Dame Judi, Dame Maggie and Dame Eileen Atkins in the 2018 BBC documentary Nothing Like A Dame.

In a clip from the show, which went viral online, a slightly disgruntled Dame Maggie is seen telling Dame Judi she was "always asked first" when acting roles were offered.

The exchange was initially missed by Dame Joan because one of her hearing aids had fallen out, but she then joined in the joke, also recounting a similar story. She was then offered a spare hearing aid by the late Dame Maggie, who died in September 2024.

West End theatres will dim their lights for two minutes in tribute to Dame Joan on Tuesday.

UK Theatre and Society Of London Theatre co-chief executive Hannah Essex said: "Dame Joan Plowright was an iconic and deeply respected figure in the world of theatre, leaving an indelible mark on the industry she shaped with her talent and dedication.

"We are honoured to contribute to the celebration of her extraordinary career and extend our heartfelt condolences to her family and loved ones."

[agentnico]

Juror #2 (2024) review

Should have been titled 12 Angry Men 2: Now It’s Personal. C’mon Warner Bros, sort your marketing out!

Plot: A juror for a high-profile murder trial finds himself struggling with a serious moral dilemma that could influence the verdict and potentially convict, or free, the accused killer.

I feel oddly special for managing to seek this one out at the cinema, as in the US seemingly hardly anyone is able to watch it as studio Warner Bros are burying this movie completely, only showcasing it in 50 screens in the country. Granted I am in the UK and here the film has had a proper release, but still I liked to see it as if I’ve been able to attain the unattainable fruit. Especially as this may be the final film directed by Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood, and yet no one is talking about this movie! Truly baffling, especially as this is a genuinely engaging piece of courtroom drama, and very much a perfect “dad movie”.

Taking inspiration from the likes of Anatomy of a Murder and 12 Angry Men, with the latter even references through straight up imagery copy as Nicholas Hoult stands in the jury room staring out through the blinds of the window like Henry Fonda did in 12 Angry Men when he is first introduced. Only difference is while Fonda’s juror was simply trying to act in the name of justice and doing the right thing, in Juror #2 the main character played by Nicholas Hoult is intent on doing the same thing, expect for the reason behind is that maybe, just maybe he is actually the murderer himself. It’s an interesting spin on the classic courtroom thriller genre, and one that Eastwood manages to unravel in a very well paced and enticing way.

The performances are all great across the board. Nicholas Hoult showcases a lot of emotion through his expressions, especially with his inner conflict of wanting to do the right thing whilst also saving his own skin, whilst also balancing his responsibility of building a new family. Zoey Deutch as his pregnant wife is a solid counterpart, and the extra gravitas with them having lost their first child added that extra layer to the relationship. Toni Collette enjoying a little About a Boy reunion there I see with Hoult, but she delivers a strong turn as a lawyer on the case who’s also an election candidate. Then JK Simmons does his usual shtick and also OMG Kiefer is in this?! I bloody love Kiefer! What a lad! Glad he’s in this, even though he doesn’t get to do much, but he’s always welcome.

Juror #2 is very sturdy, very classical stuff, a tale of moral suspense. Feels like it could have been made 75 years ago, in the best way. It of course isn’t Clint Eastwood’s best work, but it’s perfectly reliable and intelligent entertainment that had me engaged throughout, due to its great concept and execution. There are a couple of silly moments such as when Toni Collette’s lawyer googles the wife’s name + “husband” and multiple photos of them together showed up, cause that’s definitely how Google Images work! Or how Nicholas Hoult acts super shifty throughout that even a blind man would suspect something. But look, I’m not here to knit-pick - I had a good time! It’s real old-school, so again, get your dad to watch it - he’ll have a ball!

Overall score: 7/10

[fifisettos]

all the musicals I went to see in 2024 ｡⁠☆

hai!! i'm a uk based musical theatre enthusiast and, despite not living in london, have the pleasure of frequently going to the west end or having shows come to my home city - so here's all the shows I was lucky enough to see last year ✧

⭐ HAMILTON - UK TOUR ⭐

Hamilton was an amazing show to see and I was so lucky that it came directly to my home city for over a month!! I saw it on one of the earliest dates and had a full cast perform the show for me, my father and a very full auditorium.

despite the show obviously being three hours, it went by too quickly and was so enjoyable. me and my dad's seats were right at the back of the theatre as they were the only ones we could afford when buying the tickets but we could still see everything going on beneath us!! the actors were amazing and I was so impressed as it was my first touring show, so I didn't know what to expect.

I so thoroughly enjoyed Hamilton and would defo go again if possible!!

👁️ CABARET - WEST END 👁️

oh. my. GOD is this show incredible. I was going into the show almost fully blind, cabaret was trending at the time due to Eddie Redmayne's Tony awards performance (which was fantastic in my opinion, by the way) and it became my new obsession as soon as I left the theatre.

I was curious about the show because of the Tony's but I also had my interest piqued when I learned that Rhea Norwood would be performing as Sally Bowles when I went to go see it and I was curious as to whether the character would fit her. i was pleasantly surprised to see Rhea's talent in the role and how well she could sing as well as portray a realistically quite difficult role. she also was the reason I fell in love with Sally Bowles and I have to thank her for it.

I went with my mum and my gran and we were sat quite close to the stage. we were a few rows behind the cabaret tables and had a great view for the whole show. during intermission, multiple actors came up and down the aisles to ask us all how we were enjoying the show and it truly amplified the experience and just made us feel apart of everything. since we saw it together, we always talk about it whenever we see each other, it was such a good experience.

cabaret is my favourite musical, I could not recommend it more. I have actually seen it since this day, I saw it around 2 weeks ago lol

💋 MEAN GIRLS - WEST END 💋

mean girls was honestly so fun and it was nice to sit down and relax for a good matinee performance and also have a break from intense musicals lol 😭😭

I did really enjoy mean girls, though I don't have much to say about it honestly. the actors were all very talented and I do love the savoy theatre, but it is pretty much exactly what you'd expect. it is fun though, and I do recommend it!!

we were sat in the dress circle and we're still able to see everything, the savoy is a lovely theatre and I don't think there's a single bad seat.

🎼 BECOMING NANCY - UK TOUR 🎼

I was lucky enough to see becoming nancy on its uk tour and as it's a new musical, it was a super special experience! they were handing out cute little badges to everyone and at the end encouraged us to film the encore which is a great memory to look back on from when we went to see it.

this musical is yet to come to the west end but I truly believe it has every opportunity to make it and I hope it gets there in the end so I can go and see it again lol!! it is so fun and was honestly so worth it as me and my mum went really last minute but did not regret it at all.

we had seats literally two rows from the front which was such an amazing experience!! the actors and set were all incredible and I cannot wait for this show to progress!!

📔 THE BOOK OF MORMON - UK TOUR 📔

all I knew about this musical before hand was that it was written by the people who made south park, and that made me very interested. needless to say, it was both exactly what I expected and not at all what I expected. I loved it either way.

the musical was so funny and all of the songs were so catchy!! literally, me and my mum were singing them for weeks after (also, all american prophet has NO RIGHT being THAT GOOD???). I loved tbom and I so badly want to go see it again as the actors were so good and I would love to see the west end cast of it.

me and my mum were sitting in the stalls not too far from the front and we could see everything really well which was lovely.

also, side note, I saw my maths teacher at this performance. I did not want to see my maths teacher at this performance. he asked me about it the next day and believe me I did NOT know what to say.

okay so I know I didn't see that many musicals in 2024 but I still had a great time at every one I went to!! I recommend all of these musicals :3

[raikkoberg]

I'd like to thank @kimissteeringwheel for the tag!

Pairing/Shippy list!

Here's the rules:

1. List your top seven ships

2. Put all of them in order of your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favorite.

3. Name their fandom.

4. Supply photos for said people.

So here we go-

7. Jenson Button x Fernando Alonso [Ship Name: Buttonso / Jensonando]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: Because why not? They have the chemistry, they have the potential, they have their own thing going on every now and then- give me a good reason to not ship these dorks.

6. Napoleon Solo x Illya Kuryakin [ Ship Name: Napollya / Illeon]

Fandom: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. [movie 2015]

Reason: Pure Grumpy x Sunshine trope. Illya is shot tempered and keeps himself isolated most of the time, but Napoleon knows how to get under his skin (👀) and adores his Red Peril to death. I mean, he literally jumped in those deep waters to save his life- what more prrpf do you need?

5. Charles Leclerc x Max Verstappen [ Ship Name: Lestappen/Verleclerc ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reason: Seriously? You need a reason? Aren't those subtle touches on Charles' lower back after the podiums, or even when they're close to each other, not enough? Isn't that habit of Max not being able to stand in one place after seeing his favorite Ferrari boy enough? Isn't their inability to not mention each other once in every interview ever enough? They're the definition of "Love is blind"

4. Mika Häkkinen x Michael Schumacher [Ship Name: Makkinen/ Mikael]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: The classic Finn x German trope. They say they're not friends yet can't seem to leave each other alone. They basically defined each other's lives in the sport and outside of it by staying side by side in every battle. A win wouldn't feel like a win to any of them if not snatched by the other one.

3. Carlos Sainz Jr x Lando Norris [ Ship Name: Carlando / Muppet Friends ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: THEY'RE MY COMFORT SHIP!!!! They take care of each other, mention each other everywhere, go on golf dates (and dates) with each other, spend time with each other on family weddings/holidays and even after it's been three years since Carlos switched teams, their bond keeps on getting deeper and deeper. And these two were the ones people initially thought would not get along. They proved everyone wrong, and still are. I personally believe both of them progressed a lot as a personality after meeting each other. Specially in Lando's case- He's a big brother to Oscar now. Carlando for life!

2. Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton [ Ship Name: Brocedes / Rosmilton ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: REASONS??? FOR WHAT EXACTLY??? Both of them come from two totally different worlds and background - one with everything and one with almost nothing. Nico grew up in a lavish lifestyle but he established that friendship doesn't care about your background. It's just friendship. And he had his fair share with Lewis, a little boy from the UK who found a friend in a place and time he least expected to be. They went on vacations together, raced each other as teammates - both in karting and F1, which was a dream they both promised each other of when they were practically babies. But the same dream tore them apart later in life and they're so close and yet so far. And the fact that it's not fictional is just tragic.

Honourable Mentions:

Destiel [ Dean Winchester x Castiel] - Supernatural

Cherik [ Charles Xavier x Erik Lehnsherr]- X-Men Universer

Stony [ Steve Rogers x Tony Stark] - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Johnlock [Sherlock Holmes x John Watson]- The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Hannigram [Will Graham x Hannibal Lecter] - Hannibal.

AND DRUMROLL 🥁

1. Kimi Räikkonen x Sebastian Vettel [ Ship Name: Simi / Kibastian ]

Fandom: Formula 1 RPF

Reasons: Who else has ever had the ability to make the Iceman smile bar the little unhinged sassy German that we all love and worship the most? Kimi is so comfortable with his surroundings when around Seb and actually laughs and speaks by his own will! They both spend time playing badminton and Kimi actually addresses Seb as his friend. Like- is this a dream? IT'S REAL!!!! Get yourself someone who smiles at you the way they both smile at each other. And after all- it's Sebastian. You can't resist his charm- no one can ✨

Like look at them:

Uff. This was a long post but I enjoyed it. Thanks a lot to everyone who read it to the end.

I'd like to tag @thatquirkycookie, @sebbuh , @wdkzms, @rednyx-sf, @muppet-friends and @sainzinnorris to participate. And anyone who sees this post and wants to do this obviously. No pressure though. Do it only if you feel like it!

[frikatilhi]

9 people you’d like to get to know better!

Thanks for the tag, @ana-chronista!

three ships: Currently, Bojere duh. Previously, um, there are many to choose from but let's go with Steve/Bucky (MCU) and Steve/Danno (Hawaii Five-O) and leave my dark rpf past out of this one.

first ship: I'm not sure how I got into shipping exactly, because by the time Merry/Pippin came along it was not new to me. But it was the first big one, which very quickly lead to Monaboyd, which was the first huge one. Can't believe those guys are still friends after more than 20 years since meeting (!!!) and doing a play together soon (!!!) (man, if that was in Europe I'd be sooo tempted).

last song: Apart from last night's JO stream, Hyvää yötä ja huomenta by Don Huonot (it's for... reasons, ok?)

Luodinkestävää sydäntä Ei oo vielä keksittykään Turha pelätä laukausta Sillä yksinäisyys saman reiän nakertaa

last film: In the cinema, Barbenheimer. I don't get to go as much nowadays, but I used to see something around 50 movies a year at the theather (including festivals). Some day I'll go back to Midnight sun and Rakkautta & anarkiaa and spend my days watching four films in a row...

currently reading: Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux (physical book) and Miehiä ja mielenrauhaa by Marja Kangas (on audio), both are for book club. (If that one friend from book club who is a Käärijä fan and sometimes reads fic happens to lurk on Tumblr: if you saw this NO YOU DIDN'T) I used to read a lot, but since the kid and getting back into fandom I barely read any actual books /o\

currently watching: Kid shows on Yle Areena omg. When I need to turn my brain off, I tend to gravitate to trash reality, like Temptation Island Suomi, Selling Sunset or Love is Blind or the likes. We also watch Taskmaster UK a lot. Last finished show was Ted Lasso, which I kinda want to watch again soon. Shows that I should finish at some point: all the Star Wars stuff on Disney+, Daisy Jones and the Six, Community rewatch, Three Pines

currently consuming: Pepsi Max (always)

currently craving: Breakfast even though it's almost lunch time, forgot to eat this morning

No idea who's been tagged already and who's done it, so here are some random tags: @devotedlydarkcrown @maladroitoracle @reserved-fruit @cinder-rose @lumea-art @neppu @bambiesque @drugsforaddicts @izpira-se-zlato

[bellstrom]

════════════  (WANTED) CONNECTIONS  ⋆  PINTEREST  ════════════

Full Name: Harvey Moran

Age & Birthday: 29 / October 11th, 1994

Occupation: Owner of Through the Grapevine Winery (since feb '24)

Preferred Pronouns & Gender: He/him & cis-male

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Birthplace: Hampstead, UK

Length of time in Briar Ridge: 15 years

Neighborhood: Beach Front

🖋 Played & Penned by: Leo Woodall / Syd

Welcome to Briar Ridge … HARVEY MORAN! ... He is best known for [ his family's construction company 'MORAN CORP' ] and [ the result of that was him becoming the new owner of GRAPE VINE WINERY after buying it from a well-known and respected elderly couple in Briar Ridge ]. What is really important to know about them is [ that he's often misunderstood and continuously feels out of place in every space he puts himself in. ].

Harvey was born in Hampstead, UK, and moved to Briar Ridge at the age of 17. Although his parents had every intention of keeping him within their reach, they couldn't say no to their only son when he asked them to go to university in the US. With the promise of considering taking over the family business, Harvey was off in search of what more life could offer him.

At university, Harvey studied botany on a whim. While he tried to not take his privilege for granted, he didn't exactly go to uni in the US for its prestige in academics. Something was missing, something that felt out of place within him. Harvey was convinced he would find that elsewhere, so he told himself it didn't really matter what he studied; it was the experience.

Harvey never had a hard time getting along with someone. He carried a type of confidence that never made him doubt himself, and many seemed to like that about him, including Maika Bishop, who he quickly started dating after meeting her on campus. Love hit Harvey at first sight incredibly hard, and every question he had in life seemed to find an answer in Maika.

The next four years only solidified Harvey's adoration for her, and with graduation coming around in the next few months, he realized he couldn't be without her. He knew he was getting ahead of himself by proposing on Valentine's Day, but Harvey was a romantic, and he couldn't think of a better moment to start their lives together than the night that started it all. Lit candles formed in a circle in the backyard of her place, and while he expected to be met with tears of joy, he quickly realized it was not joy Maika was experiencing. He could suddenly feel the pain in his knee drilling itself into the concrete, bringing himself to stand when she started confessing things about her sexuality, feelings for their mutual friend, and a rejection ...to put the cherry on top.

To say that night changed him would be an understatement. Harvey was hit with the realization that he was back at square one, wondering if he even went anywhere and if he was just blinded by love this whole time. Devastation struck him, but before he crawled back to his safety net, Harvey wanted to give himself one more try. One more chance to find that something that he hoped was still out there.

Most would call what Harvey intended to put himself through a 'gap year.' He had prepared to travel for a bit and cross some countries off his bucket list, but he ended up staying an extra year and a half due to some unforeseen circumstances*. Despite trying to avoid those privileges, it's what saved him and eventually earned him ownership of Through the Grapevine Winery and a free ticket back to Briar Ridge.

It's been a few months, and while Harvey's yet to completely digest what he's been through, the looks people have been giving him lately have not been going over his head. He's learned recently that his parents had bought the vineyard from an elderly couple, and while he wants to believe it's the new ownership that's the issue (and not someone in his *late* twenties taking over thanks to mommy and daddy's wallet) he's determined to turn things around. He's done searching and wants to make something of himself with what he's got— even if was on a silver platter.

* Said unforeseen circumstances is a wanted connection in which Harvey and another muse could've gotten into some trouble overseas within the past two years which ended up in his parents rescuing both of them via money. Read more HERE.

[lifeofkaze]

Lullaby for a Stormy Night

Happy (non-UK) Mother's Day to all mothers, aspiring mothers, people who lost their mothers (my heart goes out to you), and basically, all of us. We rock 💛

A/N: Ethel and Florence Hexley (in mention) belong to the best of the best @the-al-chemist

The library of Fraser Hall lay plunged in shadow. A few hours ago, pale sunlight had still touched the oaken shelves, but now, the only sources of light were the lightning bolts splitting the sky in half and the pearlescent glow of the lithe little ghost hovering next to the woman sitting by the window. 

Selene Fraser’s brows were drawn together in a concentrated frown. In her hands, she was holding the tassels of the curtain, strands of its fringe interwoven with her fingers. Her eyes flickered to the letter lying in her lap, and, with a huff, she let the tassels drop again. 

“I must be doing something wrong, Alan,” she muttered to the ghost of her pet ferret. “Mrs Hexley has spelt it all out for me, but I can’t seem to get it right. Why must this be so hard?” 

“As usual, you do not lack in understanding. Only patience,” replied a voice that sounded as if it came from far away. From behind a bookshelf, a second shimmering figure emerged, its feet floating inches above the burgundy carpet. Alan’s ears twitched at the sight of his undead companion, settling contentedly on Henry Lovecraft’s shoulder as he came to a halt next to Selene. He cocked an inquisitive brow at the darkness of the room. “Why haven’t you started a fire?”

Selene startled, as if only now realising how dark it had become. “I must have forgotten. Mrs Hexley sent her response about my plight with Caitlin’s hair. I couldn’t wait to put her suggestions to the test, but they turned out to be a lot more complicated than I thought.” She gave Henry a pleading look. “Can you, perchance, make sense of it?”

Raising the letter in Henry’s direction, it took the flicker of defeat crossing his face for Selene to remember that he wouldn’t be able to take it. With a sting of remorse, she turned the parchment of him to read in the little light he and Alan were exuding. 

“Why must plaiting a little girl’s hair be so impossibly complicated?” she said glumly as Henry’s eyes flew over the lines. “I barely manage to contain it. Why can’t she just keep it down, like me? It’s all I ever wanted when I was her age, but she seems to despise it.” 

Henry paused. The beat it took for him to answer filled the room, the storm howling outside appearing all the louder for his silence.

“Caitlin is not like you, Selly.

But I wish she were.

Guilt rose in Selene’s chest upon thinking it. She knew what it felt like not living up to a mother’s expectations. Caitlin maybe was tenaciously stubborn in her wish to be prim and proper, but how could Selene love her any less for it? She was her daughter, after all.

“When I was her age, I always had to be presentable, no matter the circumstances,” Selene frowned, her eyes resting on the shield with the painted golden stag above the fireplace. She thoughtfully turned the heavy gold ring on her middle finger. “It was stifling, Henry. I hated it. It’s not what I want for Caitlin.”

“You and Caitlin are not the same, and neither are your lives,” Henry repeated softly. “You were a bird afraid of being caged. Caitlin is a bird afraid of finding it has nowhere to land.”

“But she has me. She has all of this,” Selene insisted, indicating the vastness of the estate surrounding them. More quietly, she added. “And she has you.”

“I’m happy to provide her a place of comfort when she needs it.”

“She loves you,” Selene said, looking at the rain pattering against the glass rather than at Henry. “You’re the closest thing to a father she has.” 

Henry’s face was unreadable. “She has questions. If only you -”

“No.” Selene’s voice was sharp. “I won’t have her dreams crushed like this. It would be too cruel.”

“To her or to you?”

Selene’s answer was drowned by the sound of rolling thunder. A blinding white flash cut through the night, a vein of bright light connecting the storm-heavy sky to the surface of the nearby lake. The walls of Fraser Hall seemed to shudder under the impact, and Selene was almost sure she could hear the window panes ringing. She rushed to the window, pressing her fingertips to the cool glass, hoping to see another lightning bolt following the first.

When it did, a sound from within the estate made her freeze. Someone was screaming.

Caitlin.

In less than a heartbeat, Selene was out of the library and running down the hallway. She had already taken the first flight of stairs when the next lightning cracked, almost stumbling as she skitted around the corner and burst into her daughter’s room.

Caitlin sat upright in her bed, huddled against the wall and hiding her face between her drawn-up legs. The wind had pushed the tall window right beside her bed ajar. Icy raindrops whipped inside, the curtains billowing like dark, ghostly creatures reaching for the terrified, sobbing child. 

Bracing her shoulder against the window, Selene closed it again, drawing the curtains tight. Lighting the candle on Caitlin’s bedside, she carefully approached her trembling daughter.

“Caitlin?” she asked softly. “What happened?”

Slowly, Caitlin raised her face from between her knees. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, and she was hugging the stuffed cow her godmother had given her tightly to her chest. Alan floated past Selene towards her, but when he touched his cold nose to Caitlin’s cheek, she shivered and moved away.

“Where’s Uncle Henry, Mummy? I need him to come.”

Selene did her best to not let her disappointment show. She looked behind her to signal Henry to take over but found he wasn’t there. She frowned. She could have sworn that he’d been right behind her. In fact, she had passed right through him in her rush to get to Caitlin. Where had he gone?

“I don’t know, sweetheart,” Selene said slowly, turning back to Caitlin. “Maybe he has gone to ask the thunder about new stories. Actually, I bet that’s where he’s gone.” She hesitated. “Will you make do with me until he returns?”

Caitlin said nothing, resting her chin on top of her cow’s head like she had done since she was big enough to hold it. Every moment of her silence made Selene’s heart sink a little further, but when a heavy gust of wind made the shutters outside rattle and Caitlin jumped in terror, she closed her arms around her daughter anyway.

“There’s no shame in being afraid,” she murmured, gently rocking back and forth. “Thunderstorms are scary.” 

Again, Caitlin remained silent. She sat stiffly in her mother’s arms, shrouding herself in a silence Selene didn’t know how to read. When she was almost convinced that Caitlin wouldn’t answer her at all, she quietly said:

“You’re not.”

Selene tilted her head. “I’m not what?”

“Afraid. Of the thunderstorms. How is that?”

Selene had never thought about this. As long as she could remember, storms - especially here, in the Scottish Highlands - had always glued her to her window. There was something fascinating about them, both empowering and humbling. The very air seemed to be alive, thrumming with energy. She had often sat in her bedroom after her parents had gone to sleep, looking at the patterns the lightning would draw on the sky, imagining how the rain would feel on her face and the wind in her hair.

“I think,” she heard herself say,” I like thunderstorms because you can’t confine them. No matter what you do, a thunderstorm will not be tamed.”

“I wish they would. They’re ghastly.”

The little quiver in Caitlin’s voice made Selene’s heart squeeze. Tentatively, she placed her hand on Caitlin’s back. 

“Why didn’t you call for me earlier? This is only an autumn storm. There’s no reason for you to be afraid.”

“Of course you would say so!” Caitlin suddenly lashed out, angrily shaking off her mother’s hand. “You’re not afraid of anything, not ever. You wouldn’t understand!”

Rendered speechless, Selene blinked several times. Caitlin was shaking again, but it wasn’t from fear. When she turned away, Selene recognised the flash in her daughter’s eyes. She saw the anger, but more importantly, something else Selene remembered all too well - helplessness. 

“Do you know what Granda Angus used to say?” she said softly. “He said, when it thunders, the gods of yore beat their drums to dance. Doesn’t that sound merry to you?”

Caitlin didn’t look convinced but tentatively nodded. Encouraged, Selene continued. 

“He never seemed to run out of stories. They were the most fantastic ones, even more fantastic than Uncle Henry’s, but you mustn’t tell him I said that.” 

Caitlin wrinkled her nose, but her chokehold on the stuffed cow had eased. “This can’t be, Mummy. Uncle Henry’s stories are the best.” 

“It’s true, I promise. Granda knew stories about this land, and ghosts, and fairies, and every creature you can possibly imagine. No one knew more about our home than him.” 

Selene smiled sadly at the memory. Angus Fraser, who had been more of a father to her than her actual father, had passed away just short of two years ago. She still missed him terribly. 

“Every night before I went to bed, Granda would tell me one of his stories,” she continued. “He claimed he was Dream Angus, come to bring me all the adventures I could possibly dream of. And after, Grandma would sing to me.” She paused. “Would you like me to sing for you, too?” 

Caitlin considered her offer for a moment. She nodded.

“I think I’d like that.”

“Come here, then.”

Selene held her arms wide and waited for her daughter to nestle against her chest. Softly, she began to sing.

Dreams to sell, fine dreams to sell, Angus is here with dreams to sell. Hush now, wee bairnie, and sleep without fear, For Angus will bring a dream, my dear.

The familiar melody made a smile appear on Selene’s face. Without meaning to, she slipped into the soft accent her grandmother had spoken with, not as hard as her grandfather’s and uncles, but softer, enveloping her like a blanket that felt like home. Dream Angus had been her favourite lullaby growing up, but she hadn’t sung it in a long time; not since Caitlin had decided she was old enough to go to bed alone. 

The sound of her grandmother’s voice singing her to sleep was probably what Selene had missed most every time she had to return home to Edinburgh. Her mother had never sung to her, not that she could remember. Even now, years later, the thought seemed absurd, but it didn’t matter. The time for Selene and her mother had passed.

Despite herself, the thought of Lucretia Fraser lingered, stirring a familiar sadness in Selene’s heart. How often had she hesitated, not daring to ask for what she truly wanted when she bade her mother goodnight? How often had she wished she’d reach out and hold her, stroke her hair and murmur soft words of motherly affection? She had imagined it, so many times, hoped that once - just once - things would be different. That she’d be loved for who she was and not for who she was raised to be. 

Over time, the feeling had changed. The yearning in her heart had been filled by others, but never entirely. Her grandmother, Mrs Hexley - her best friend’s mother - and, of course, Ethel herself; they and so many others had loved Selene for herself, and Selene had loved them back. She’d let them inside her heart, but somehow, they had never quite fit. The hole at its very core had never been completely closed. 

She looked down at Caitlin’s wild curls as she sang, the notes dropping from her lips heavy with the love she felt for this little, stubborn girl, who was so much like her and yet so little. Caitlin had broken her and made her whole again, in ways Selene had never believed possible. Maybe it wasn’t what she’d wanted, but whatever Caitlin had done, the scar on her heart barely hurt anymore. She had healed her, and Selene would do everything in her power to thank her for every hour of every day. 

Maybe she wasn’t the mother Caitlin wanted or needed, but in this moment, with the wind raging outside, and the thunder rolling, and the wood of the home Selene had made for them creaking comfortably around them, she felt that maybe - just maybe - she could grow into the mother Caitlin deserved. She would never let her feel as unseen as she had felt growing up. She didn’t know how, but Selene wasn’t scared of rocky roads. She always found her way.

Dreams to sell, fine dreams to sell, Angus is here with dreams to sell. Hush now, wee bairnie, and sleep without fear, For Angus will bring a dream, my dear.

The last of the notes sunk into the peaceful quiet of the room. Selene let it linger, enjoying the wistfulness wrapping around her for a moment longer. 

“It’s not true, you know,” she breathed softly. “I am afraid. More often than you might think.”

Her admission was swallowed by the stillness. Caitlin had gone still in Selene’s arms, her chest rising and falling steadily. Smoothing down her messily plaited hair, Selene lowered her back onto her pillow, covered her and her stuffed cow with the duvet and blew out the candle. 

Rising carefully, Selene stood by the window. The worst of the storm seemed to have passed; the wind had made a gap appear in the heavy blanket of clouds, and through it shone a sliver of the moon. Everything looked different in its silvery light; the old leaves, the dust, the dirt of the past few weeks, all of it had been swept away by the storm. Tomorrow, the sun would rise again in all its glory, and the world would glow fresh, and bright, and beautiful.

That was what she loved about storms, Selene realised. The way they made things new.

Tearing herself away from the view of her beloved valley, she turned to leave. In the doorway, she could see the pearly white silhouette of Henry. She didn’t know how long he’d been there, but he gave her a slight nod, which Selene answered with a grateful smile. She looked back at her now peacefully sleeping daughter. 

The storm outside had passed, she thought to herself. Maybe one day, theirs would, too. 

Tagging: @endlessly-cursed

[chaosincurate]

My month in music - March 2023

slowthai - UGLY (new)

black midi - Hellfire (revisit)

Black Country, New Road - For The First Time (revisit)

machinegum - Conduit

Alvvays discography (revisit)

Fall Out Boy - So Much (For) Stardust (new)

Yves Tumor - Praise A Lord Who Chews But Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds) (new)

Regina Spektor - Soviet Kitsch

boygenius - the record (new)

slowthai - UGLY

This slowthai album is really interesting. My experience with slowthai prior to this was limited to Nothing Great About Britain, and I loved the punky energy of that album which merged unbelievably well with his grime stylings to summarize the (justified) angst-ridden experience of the more combative sect of working class Britain, by mixing together the music of the disaffected, frustrated youth of two different generations, similarly to The Clash's London Calling.

This time out though, while anger and frustration are present, they take a bit of a backseat to mental illness and despair, which called for a genre change, and slowthai picked the perfect genre in my view: post-punk. This new sound is not only a better thematic fit than his previous one would be, but it also suits slowthai very well, because, as the name suggests, it isn't too distant from punk in terms of what is required of the performer, but it sounds very different, switching energy for a bit of complexity which suits introspection very well.

Not only is this a fascinating example of artistic consideration for an album, it's also just a great album, and makes for a great introduction to UK rap for alternative rock fans, and vice versa.

Apple Music link

black midi - Hellfire

I've spoken about this album before on my top albums of last year list (spoilers, it tops the list) and everything I said about the album still applies for me. The album has a dynamism and charisma I've seldom seen before. The energy is transcendent, the lyrics are darkly whimsical and almost dauntingly dense, the instrumentals are virtuosic yet restrained to artistic sense in a way that many virtuosos aren't... What's not to love? I believe this album is deserving of godly worship, and may well be my favourite album of all time. Sure, it has it's flaws, but I simply get too whipped up in the beauty of it all that I become a blind evangelical follower of this album's glory. Praise be to Hellfire!

Apple Music link

Black Country, New Road - For The First Time

Although their later album, Ants From Up There, is my favourite of the two albums Black Country, New Road have put out, For the First Time has it's own place in my heart too. For one, it's one of the only albums that contains an instrumental I managed to get into enough to have in my library (I'm usually appreciative of their role within an album, but for whatever reason, they rarely do anything for me outside of making for good transitions), but it also has a sound that leans more towards Joy Division-style post-punk which I appreciate in a wholly different way to their later album.

They have the same patience about their music, a willingness to draw a sound out and let it roam where it may, which, in my experience at least, is very unique and personally highly appreciated. But it's sonically way darker than Ants From Up There, more imminently haunting, all of which makes it so that, even as someone who doesn't like the album as much, I never think of this album as living in the shadow of the other, an issue that band discographies can face if they are unwilling to offer anything new.

Apple Music link

machinegum - Conduit

machinegum is a superband of sorts, with the lineup containing Fabrizio Moretti of The Strokes as well as Ian Devaney from a band that I can't say I've heard of called Nation of Language. They have a wikipedia page, so I imagine I'm just losing touch at the ripe old age of 22. In any case, I heard way more Strokes in this album than anything else, but for me it just didn't hit the same. There were some standouts that I still really like, though, even after a few weeks worth of listens had made me bored of most of the album. The most notable example of that relative longevity is Atomized. Seeing as that comes early in the album and is pretty representative of the albums sound, I'll link that here. Give it a listen, maybe you'll like it!

Apple Music link

Alvvays discography

I've already done a write-up on this amazing indie pop band that deserves more success (they are already pretty successful, but these guys are the best indie band right now). You can find the fruits of my obsession here!

Fall Out Boy - So Much (For) Stardust

I usually try to take the "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it" approach when it comes to talking about music, but this album disappointed me to the point of frustration, so I'm gonna get negative here. Fall Out Boy stans, you've been warned.

So, first things first, no, this album isn't dreadful. This album has turned the tide following Mania and a long wait, I won't deny that, but to me this album felt like the perfect illustration of why its so important to know when you have nothing left to say. The album is completely unremarkable. It says nothing, does nothing new, and retreads unexceptionally. It feels like they're trying to make music for the kids of the 00s that don't exist anymore. It reeks of immaturity, which would be fine if not for the fact they don't seem to be aware of it. This isn't a punkish, knowing immaturity, it's a mid-life crisis in audio form, and it makes me question whether Fall Out Boy were ever actually good in the first place or whether their earlier material is just carried by nostalgia.

Sorry Fall Out Boy fans, but I needed that. I did like Fake Out quite a bit, though, and that's stood the test of time a few weeks poses, so I'll share that here. I hope everyone else enjoys it as much as the critics appear to have done!

Apple Music link

Yves Tumor - Praise A Lord Who Chews But Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds)

This experimental album from Yves Tumor is the strangest album I've heard that could still be confidently recommended to the majority of music fans. It's very formless, yet still manages to feel familiar. It's a demonstration of Yves Tumor's creativity that he can make something unlike anything else I've heard with such a singular soundscape, but still have the album be easy to get into straight away.

The only slight flaw I can think of that matters, is that it peaks quite early for me, which makes the rest of the album feel worse than the sum of its parts.

Apple Music link

Regina Spektor - Soviet Kitsch

This is one that has been on my radar for probably about a year, and I finally got around to it last month. Maybe I shouldn't have waited so long, because it didn't live up to expectation at first, but as time went on, I've appreciated this album more and more.

Regina Spektor is pretty weird. Like, all round weird. But it's a great example of why weird is not an insult. The brand-new-sentence style of lyrics in particular makes every line sound so intentional because it had to be. She's clearly digging down to the raw, abstract feelings and experiences that aren't yet translated cleanly into an earthly language, and she translates them herself, from scratch, and it becomes so personal and affecting because it's just all her, no cliches. She could say something as common as a greeting in this style and it would feel like she was the first person to say hello and really mean it. It's fantastic.

As I'm writing this, I realize that I might have enough to say about this album to justify it's own post, but that will do for this one. Give this one a listen if you like folk-leaning alternative stuff like Fiona Apple and Phoebe Bridgers. You might be disappointed, but then you won't be and you'll like it a whole lot.

Apple Music link

boygenius - the record

With the record, three very talented musicians, clever lyricists, and beautiful vocalists come together to make an album that is... Good? I mean, yeah, all those things still apply, and it is genuinely good, its not like Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, and Julien Baker just lost all their talent completely in a few years, they aren't Green Day, but I guess I just expected more from three women who were such a large part of the popularisation of this kind of sound. It's a good album, and it's still worth a listen if you're a fan of any of the three, or of course if you liked the boygenius EP, but outside of a few fun and/or sincere moments, it felt a little arbitrary to me. Those moments are there though, and they are great, I just think maybe a second EP would be more appropriate than an album that, to me, felt like it had a lot of filler. As always though, you might have a different experience, so if you haven't heard it yet and like sad girl vibes, give it a shot!

Apple Music link

[yanawildstar]

SEX AND FEELINGS

A man can have sex with a lady and still don't have any feelings for her, most men only need space to have sex but majority of women need reason to have sex.

90% of woman cannot have sex without feelings, a man can travel for eight hours just to have sex with a female and yet, not love her or even have any feelings for her.

Sex makes men act as if they are in love while they are not!! What they feel is lust, what they feel is what they see which is curves and a huge behind, go through a lady's silky skin thigh for a 5 minutes or less, ejaculate and forget.

The eight hours travel sacrifice, gifts bought, hotel paid for and other expenses may seem to be coming from true love but they were all in the sacrifice for sex and nothing more.

The foolish thing is this, the majority of women would jump up inside them and conclude that this is the art of true love. So many woman are bought and blinded by materialistic things, yet miss the small little gestures that money cannot buy.

Sex is not an act of commitment. So many Men and women still leave their partners on their beds and start thinking of the next woman or man to sleep with. The satisfaction that comes from sex dies in minutes.

It is in the nature of Lions to go miles to hunt. The same with men. A man who can afford the expenses of flying from the UK to Kenya for sex would do it as if he would never turn to another woman for sex.

Sex drives men to do what seems like the impossible and such turns women around and they start acting weird. Sex and love are not on the same page even in the dictionary.

People can abandon their gold mines and dig the grave for sex. Most young men do terrible things just to have the resources to keep many girls in their life.

You may think they are working hard to live well in the future but they are just living for fun and that is all. Students are now living together like husbands and wives, and our society calls it love. What kind of people do these students become when they leave school?

This is why we have a lot of frustrated graduates than nation-building graduates.

Today, a 16-year-old girl is already into sex. She wants to wear everything on trend. She is already a prostitute in the sense that any man that comes her way for relationship must show some signs of money and she would respond to him.

The funny thing is this, almost all those girls that have become sex symbols end up in a deep mess. How many of them today is changing the world they are into? What kind of spirit would they do well within life? They have sold their souls out to sex. They pride on what they wear and hotels they go to. That is their biggest achievement. The girls they called cowards are setting up economic empires. Their future is already exhausted when they come to their true senses?

Advice to my beloved brothers and sisters:

For men; never allow your erection today to destroy your future directions, stay positive.

My sisters, all that glitters is not gold, make your future bright and it start today.

I am not posting this to make anyone guilty or stand as a judge, but just stating nothing but the truth.

[septembersghost]

DM posting a blind (fanfic lmao) that Blondie is dating Andrew

see, this, to me, is just as bad as k*ylorism, simply in a different way? tbh DM, like CDAN before her, is a plague on the internet and will post ANYTHING anyone sends her, she doesn't care about veracity whatsoever, this is the same woman who insisted for years taylor and joe were secretly married (and had a "UK ceramony [sic]"), and now she's still stirring up unfounded drama about that other dude, so there are multiple reasons why i believe this would never happen, but that said.......they'd be very cute and i love them both, so would i support two of my faves together? yes 😂 that said, reality prevails.

what is she even concluding this from lol it sounds like someone listened to WEFIL and decided to invent this. just. have they ever even been in the same vicinity? what?!

[dargeereads]

Dad's Best Friend Series

Genre: Steamy Age Gap Romance

Releasing: June 15 - 22, 2023

The Dad’s Best Friend series features deliciously forbidden steamy age gap instalove romances from bestselling authors. Perfect short romances to gobble up, with all the spice you love!

SAVED BY MY DAD'S BEST FRIEND

BY HALEY TRAVIS

With one simple favor, I fell for the sexiest woman in the world – my best friend's daughter.

Lena is gorgeous. Sweet, sensual, fascinating.

An angel who should not be staying with a much older, rough man, even if it's at her Dad's request.

Protecting Lena for a few days should solve her stalker problem.

He'll take one look at my size and back off. If he shows his face, I'll end him.

I shouldn't feel this possessive, this wild about a girl I barely know.

She's already mine.

I'll do anything to save her from her fears.

But who will save Lena from my obsession?

GOODREADS

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MIDNIGHT SNACK

BY CHLOE MAINE

He was my first crush. But he was my dad's best friend, so he pushed me away...

Now I've done what he told me to do. I went and lived my life. I still know what I want (and it's him, no question), so I'm showing up on his doorstep late at night, knowing he won't turn me away. I may only have one night to convince him that we both need to test the wild chemistry between us. So I'm going to make myself the most irresistible, secret midnight snack he's ever been offered. And I'll have to hope that once he has a taste, he won't be able to let me go again.

ADD TO GOODREADS

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PROTECTING ALLIE

BY AUDREY BELL

She's the daughter of my ex-military buddy, scared, and in need of protection. When a stalker threatens to take her life, I could lose my sweet girl before I ever get the chance to make her mine.

***

Duke

When my best friend, Mickey, gets remarried and leaves to enjoy his honeymoon, he made me swear to look after his daughter, Allie. I didn’t tell him that I can’t take my eyes off her even if I tried. She’s a fully grown woman now at 25 years old but she's still thirteen years younger than me. And Mickey would bury me alive if he knew I was thinking about his daughter that way. So I keep my distance, even though it kills me to do it.

Then Allie calls me in the middle of the night, terrified. Someone is stalking her, invading her private life with threatening messages.

I will do everything in my power to keep her safe, relying on my military background to protect her. What I’m not prepared for is the way danger and adrenaline ramp up the sexual tension between us, making it impossible to deny my feelings for her.

Allie

My dad’s best friend, Duke, is like an uncle to me, buff, broody, and protective. I didn’t want to tell Dad about the stalker in the middle of his wedding plans, but I’m so grateful to have Duke watching my back.

After a close call with my stalker leaves me shaken, I find myself taking refuge in Duke’s arms. I’m not blind to the way he looks at me though. It’s more than mild fondness. He’s obsessed with me in a way he’s trying so hard to hide.

One hot, wild night is all it takes for our self-control to dissolve, tumbling between the sheets together. When I finally have Duke in my bed, I know it’s more than a temporary fling in the heat of the moment. I’m in love with my dad’s best friend forever.

What am I going to tell my dad? And now that Duke is in my life as more than just an impromptu bodyguard, will that paint a target on his back for my stalker, too?

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COMING SOON IN THE SERIES

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU

[dreamsister81]

"I think it was in '93 that Jeff came to our house for Christmas. My wife, our two young boys, and Jeff. He shows up a couple of hours late in the afternoon wearing a top hat and a fur coat. It was the first appearance of the fur coat; he had just purchased it. I think he had just gotten some money from Sony. He bought a top hat and this fur coat. I think the left sleeve was held together by safety pins. He appeared at our front door. Our sons Nick and Ben were one and three years old at this time. He was leaving later that day to England to visit people, visit some friends. He showed up at our house carrying an open, half-used Christmas basket which he had gotten for a gift from Columbia Records. This was his offering to the Christmas festivities at our house that day. There was a Christmas tree and he put the open basket, with half of the stuff in it eaten, under the Christmas tree, which I thought was really nice. He was sharing his booty. And I thought that was very sweet. That was just a great day, a lot of lying on the floor playing with the kids. He exhibited something that day which I had never seen before. It's late in the afternoon, now the television is on and Warner Brothers' Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons were on and my three-year-old son was sitting on the couch. All of a sudden Jeff got up and stood next to the television, just to the side of it. He was word-for-word miming these cartoons, and these are some maniacal music and maniacal songs with extremely complicated rhythms to the soundtracks and the pratfalls. He knew every beat and every word. My son Nick, who always spoke very well, he kept looking at Jeff, and looking at the TV and looking at me, and this went on for a couple of minutes and Nick finally went, 'Dad, how is he doing that?!' And I said, 'I don't know, Nick. I don't know...Just sit down and watch him.'"-Steve Berkowitz from A Wished For Song

.

.

.

"Somewhere I might have a video. My sons Nick and Ben, are four and two, says Steve Berkowitz. "They would watch Silly Symphonies and Merry Melodies while Mom and Dad made dinner. Jeff was over, lying on the couch watching these cartoons with the kids, and then, all of a sudden, he is standing next to the television and mouthing all the words and music of the cartoons and acting them out and being silly. Nick looks at me and says, 'Daddy, why does he know that?'

"'I don't know why Nick, just watch him...'-from Jeff Buckley: From Hallelujah To The Last Goodbye

.

.

.

"We first met while he was staying with a friend in London during the Christmas holidays in 1992, at what was once the Dome cafe on the corner of Kings Road in London. He was a fairly penniless musician at the time, so I bought him lunch. The first meeting was almost like going on a blind date, not romantically, but we got on so well immediately. He wasn’t the most gregarious person, but we clicked and connected: we were similar ages and were both just starting out. I think we were in the cafe for about four hours.

"During that first meeting, he said to me that he’d never want to play an arena, and if I expected to make any money off him, I was talking to the wrong person. He loved playing small rooms, which is why when we met he laid down the gauntlet for me to find tiny venues for him to play. I remember him saying to me that when people are talking in a venue he would try to use their noise to become part of the song, so the whole thing would blend together. But the reality is that nobody ever did talk at his gigs. They were completely silent. People would listen and watch with their mouths open half the time."-Emma Banks of Creative Artists Agency, and Jeff’s UK live agent, via The Guardian, 8 Mar, 2016 (I believe the year was actually 1993, not 92 due to Berkowitz's anecdote above, Jeff was still with Rebecca Moore in 92 and naturally would've spent the holidays with her-though technically they could've sent him as a matter of business, but still, 92 would've been a bit too soon after he'd been signed, and it obviously makes more sense he'd go to London to meet with Emma that year as he was due to return in March of 94.)

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Just before this trip, he had been to England for a week over the New Year, to visit Elizabeth Fraser, the singer with Cocteau Twins, whose voice, he told me, stopped him in his tracks. "It sounds like light," he said.-Dave Lory, from Jeff Buckley: From Hallelujah To The Last Goodbye (the trip mentioned would've been in January, 94, the start of the Sin-é solo tour) 📷 Merri Cyr/Nicola Dill

[sweetestlamb]

Pitiful Love

Summary: Our favorite assassin faces her fiercest opponent yet.

Author's note: If you're waiting for me to update a story just ignore this, this didn't happen it's all an illusion. 🌚🌚🌚 But honestly I tried to resist writing about these two but I couldn't fight the thoughts in my head. It's just a wee drabble, I hope anyone who writes enjoys it. I should have probably wanted until the weekend to post but I'm always too impatient once I've written something new, hopefully the two people who see this enjoy it lmaoooo.

She's finally here, beside him. Back where she had started to believe she belonged and the joy that ravaged her body as she crossed that finish line terrified her, what foolish game were they playing? She should have been more careful. She was Naksu, not Mu-deok; the blind fool who stole her soul in a comedic twist of fate, she has let this role get to her hear--her head. Only her head.

She has never had any room for such frivolous endeavors. Even her time with Seo Yul was nothing in comparison to this, they did not depend on each other nor share their weaknesses- their time together was filled with comfortable silence and no expectations. Neither asking the other for more than they were willing to give. Which was perfect as she was not willing to give anything.

A polar opposite from her relationship with a certain entitled brat, he was demanding from the moment she collided into his world. It frustrated her to no end that everything he wanted from her, he ultimately got it through sheer determination and his impeccable luck.

He had been kicked down countless times since she met him, yet he could still smile like that. Blinding her with rows of gleaming teeth that were only eclipsed by the brilliance of his eyes, those eyes that revealed too much when they should have hidden everything from someone like her.

She was still Naksu, she had no qualms about using his pitiful feelings for her own benefit. He had no business caring for someone like her.

I missed you too.

She had not missed him. They were dependent on each other that was all, it was best not to confuse these feelings of survival with something as meaningless as love.

Yet she had come running upon hearing of her drunk young master in the brothel. Once again he had done the impossible, reading that fool's love letter in a fraction of time than it took others allowing him to leave Songrim as he pleased. It was expected at this point, he was her pupil and the luckiest man she'd ever encountered.

His weight is heavy on her slimmer shoulder but she shifts him away as young master Seo tries to take him from her arms.

"I'm fine. I will take my young master home now."

"He will be a burden. I shall carry him, he's too heavy for you."

He leans forward once more and instinctively her grip tightens, she will not allow anyone to take him from her especially in this state. He needs her.

"No. I am stronger than I look, he is no heavier than the water I had to carry on my back. You should go back inside, people will start to worry about you. I will bring my master home."

That look again, filled with emotions she has no desire to decipher. So she looks away breaking his piercing prolonged eye contact.

"Good night young master."

Jang Uk is silent on her shoulder besides his drunken mumbling of her name. As soon as she takes her first step he trips on nothing and almost brings them both down.

"Aish! Why did you have to drink so much? I'm the one who passed a test all you did was read a stupid book!" She hisses at him under her breath and to her annoyance he chuckles in response, finally opening his glossy eyes.

"Mu-deok ah you were here?!"

If they were not in the street with so many witnesses she would have dropped him where he stood.

"I swear one day I will kill you."

Their journey home is not one of ease but she is the fiercesome assassin Naksu, she will not be overcome by one drunk idiot.

As soon as she reaches his chambers she dumps him unceremoniously on his sleeping blankets. His cry of pain is music to her ears.

"Mu-deok! That hurt, my head is throbbing. Can't you be more gentle?"

She glares at him vehemently before kicking him in the thigh.

"Hey!"

"Stop your whining, I barely hit you."

He looks so pitiful on the floor rubbing his leg where she kicked that she almost feels guilty. Almost.

"Stop drinking so much." She says with finality before bowing, ready to take her leave.

"Wait."

She shouldn't wait. He's reckless enough while sober who knows what he might say intoxicated? She shouldn't take the risk.

But her feet are frozen. Despite the screaming in her head.

Walk. Move damn it. Go!

"Why didn't you meet me there as I asked? I wanted to celebrate you passing your test."

Because she felt pathetic. She had fought so hard to be by his side without realizing how much she was exposing to him and possibly others.

They could never be together. That was fact. He was destined to marry the lying Jinyowon brat or the clearly infatuated healer's granddaughter, there was no space in his life for her. Not as Mu-deok or Naksu.

"I wanted to be alone. You seemed fine without me."

She had seen him earlier surrounded by his friends his glee palpable even across room. But there were another pair of eyes softly gazing at her master, and then she'd crossed that space and he had turned that blinding smile in her direction. That smile that she thought had been designated for her eyes only.

"I'm never fine without you. Don't you know that by now? Why are you trying to put this distance between us huh?"

He's swaying sporadically his scarlet cheeks blazing but she's certain it's not from any embarrassment at his declaration.

"Because you have forgetten what this is."

She had forgotten too, foolishly.

His eyes narrow into dangerous slits, his jaw clenching tightly at her harsh tone.

"And what is this?"

He lays his palm flat on the floor pushing himself to his full height, towering over her as he awaits her reply.

"A busines-"

"You're a coward."

That stops in her tracks. Her own callous words thrown back in her face, she glares at him refusing to let the moisture in her eyes leak and break her resolve.

"You're not only my master, or my maid. This isn't just a business deal not anymore, not to me. I think about you day and night Mu-deok, do you know what that's like? To not be able to control my thoughts? Or my heart? I didn't ask for this, but you can't run away from this and pretend I'm the only one feeling this."

She blinks hard, fist clenched at her sides. This demanding asshole, he never listens to her unless his life is on the line. One day she'll kill him, that's a promise.

"Naksu."

He stares at her blankly. Then clarity shines in those expressive eyes.

"I never knew it bothered you."

"It doesn't.... It didn't. But you're saying those things and using her name. Would you still feel this way if she regained her body? Is this body so beautiful that your feelings wouldn't change regardless of who inhabits-"

"Naksu. My heart belongs to Naksu. Only Naksu."

Thump.

Without any thought her hand moves and clutches at her chest.

His answering smirk makes her want to disappear.

"What? Did your heart skip a beat? Did I make your heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly?"

"Shut up." She hates that she can feel heat blossoming on her face. It's all because of this weak body.

"Don't spend too much alone with Seo Yul."

She's caught off guard by the weird request so much so she doesn't immediately respond making Jang Uk start to squirm his discomfort too apparent.

"What? Is that too difficult for you? Am I asking too much?"

"No. It's just stupid, whether or not I spend time alone with him nothing will change. You spend time with other women, are your feelings changing in their presence?"

He stares at her before grinning.

"Not at all. They mean nothing to me."

"Then don't make idiotic demands like that again."

She wants to look away but she can't tear her gaze away from his, it feels like being caught in the eye of a storm her insides are rattling but she can't escape. With her defences down, he steps forward invading her personal space as he's wont to do.

"I want to do something stupid."

She gasps as he further closes the space between them, those long legs easily eating up the necessary distance she created for her sanity.

His hand is sweltering on her already burning cheek.

I need to pull away.

But she closes her eyes, leaning into his huge palm her resistance tearing at the seams.

"Open your eyes. Look at me, Naksu."

She must be a pervert because hearing her name on his tongue does something to her insides, she's never felt attraction towards anyone before him. Never wanted to kiss someone or rip their clothes off and feel their skin on her own, see them panting beneath her the way she only heard about in lewd bar stories.

Not until him.

"When we are alone, I will call you that. Do you like that?"

His thumb brushes across her lips and she can't stop her mouth from falling open in anticipation.

He pulls at her bottom lip, eyes captivated by the movement of his own finger and she uses her last reservoir of control to pull away.

"What do you think you're doing to me?"

"Will you give me permission to do what I want?"

His eyes are darker than she's ever seen him, unknown emotions swirling through the rich deep orbs.

"Naksu. Please, don't push me away anymore."

She's never been conquered before, not by mages that sought to end her life or her emotions as she grew up alone without anyone to call her own. Every battle she has fought she has won, defeat is foreign to her and that was the way she wanted to live all her life.

Until him.

Giving him her heart doesn't sound like a concession because she will receive his in return. Nobody has ever given her their heart before, none would dare get this close to her.

In the end, he was the one to use her feelings for him.

"We shouldn't do this. Nobody will approve."

"We are the only ones who get to decide that. Nobody else has a say in what we do, I will break any rules if it means I get to be with you."

"I will be nothing like the other women who want you. I will not change merely because we are involved, I will still be selfish and put myself first. Are you sure you can handle that?"

"You wouldn't be my Naksu if you were not like that."

My Naksu.

"Fine. I'm not that good of a person to not take what I want. If you suffer because of me, that's not my fault anymore."

This time she's the one to pull him closer, arms firm around his waist as she tugs him near leaning up onto the tips of her toes with only one goal in mind.

Her first kiss.

His pure look of shock is cemented in her mind as their faces draw closer, his warm breathe washing over her face alcohol still lingering in the air.

This time when he cradles her face she doesn't resist, letting him gently turn her head as his eyes sweep over her face before landing on her lips with clear intention.

She closes her eyes and lets herself free fall with no plan or escape route in mind.

His lips are even better than she imagined, than she dreamed at nights. Too soft and full, covering her own in a way that belies practice. She pushes away her jealousy refusing to let any stray thoughts invade this moment.

After a long moment of fevered presses and a light swipe of his tongue against the seam of her mouth she tries to move away, feeling light headed but he draws her closer wrapping one arm around her waist as the other one delves into her hair holding her head firmly in place.

"You said I could do what I want. I want more."

Erotic images instantly flood her mind, and she gasps looking at him with hesitant passion.

"Don't look at me like that. I only meant more kissing but if you appear so eager and willing I will not be able to control myself."

She might be a virgin but she's no blushing one.

"What if I wanted to do more? Are you truly strong enough to control yourself?"

They both stare at each other, challenge charging the air.

"Don't say things you don't mean."

"I don't. I only say things I mean."

She peers into his eyes before reaching down to her own robe, watching him as she begins to loosen it feeling powerful in a way she hasn't since she lost her energy and skill as Naksu.

"Young master? Did you return safely?"

They both jump at the new voice and before he can say anything to her she's already moving, tightening her robe and hoisting herself out of his window.

Maidservant Kim enters seconds later, but she can barely hear a word of their conversation over the thunderous pounding of her heart.

What had she done?

[s-sputnik-k]

I'm asking about the plastic tupperware 👀👀

CW: anxiety

SO I'll try to keep this short but there's so much I wanna talk about skdhdsh

Me, my mum and my sibling were lucky enough to get VIP to Blind Channel in the UK last week. We've actually met them before as we got into them at the start of 2018, around the time when Alone Against All came out, because I remember my mum showing it to us and being like, isn't this band good! isn't he cute! About Niko and at the time we were just like. Mum it's just a dude in a hat.

But now he's our dude in a hat and we love Blind Channel!

So ye we met them in late 2018 when they supported All That Remains and Sevendust, it was mad because they literally just stood at the merch stand of a really small venue, there was barely anyone interested in talking to them so we got sooo lucky. Joel came out to the merch stand late, his hair wet presumably after a shower, and my nan (for some reason we brought out nan to the gig, we love her tho) was like "Have you been sleeping?" and he just looked so confused, and was like, "No... I had a shower..."

That isn't really relevant to the story but it's kind of a family inside joke sjfhsh

So ofc, we were so excited when they got awards in Finland, we waited on the results of UMK and watched Eurovision despite it not being our normal family tradition, because we loved Blind Channel and could not BELIEVE that the guys my mum befriended on Instagram back in 2018 were doing all of this. I also didn't notice until I watched Dark Side come out that Aleksi was in the band skfhssh I'm so unobservant I thought they were just mates (my mum hasn't talked to Niko on Insta in ages btw so I'm not gonna claim to actually know the members loll but put it this way, at the time I spoke more to Niko through my mum than I did to my uncles)

So that brings me to most recently where we got VIP tickets, including meet and greet, to the Birmingham show on their European tour. And I was wondering what the hell to give them as a gift.

(dw this is relevant) I met a cute Scottish band called Single By Sunday a while back and gave them origami cranes matching their hair colours (idk if the band is still together but they're really cool dudes!) and the crane thing was kinda personal to me because they were one of my first healthy coping mechanisms, where I would make those to calm down back in primary school. And they're also meant to bring good luck, I don't really believe in luck but it's a nice sentiment.

So I spent an hour every day for the past week or so customising and folding these delicate little things:

They have the logo in the middle, and they say blind channel one way and their names the other way.

And now we get the story of the tupperware:

Ofc they're delicate little things and I wanted to protect them so my brother suggested put them in a container. I tried to find the container that was the least pasta sauce-stained.

So, it's Saturday afternoon, we got up super early to get the coach to Birmingham, we walked around grand central and bought a big plush pig from a plush shop and called him Porko. More on him later skfhs he's his own story tbh

So we got into our outfits at the hotel and headed to the venue, and we got let in for VIP by none other than... Santeri, the tour manager (I think) who I actually had no idea who he was up until the previous Wednesday, I'd just seen his face in videos a few times before then, but my mum pointed him out to me at the Manchester gig.

So, Saturday. I was shaking so bad when the band came in skdhdhs I haven't shaken that bad in a while lmao. Felt so funny holding a little tub while I was shaking like a madman.

Santeri was funny that day anyway, pretty sure he asked us to please be orderly because he was hungover, lmao

My sibling gave Joonas the pig plush, if you saw the video on their story recently of Olli and Joonas throwing a big plush against a wall backstage, that's the pig we gave them skdhdsh

So then it was my turn. I think I was last in the line to get a picture, not that I would have noticed, I felt like I had tunnel vision I was so nervous skdhss. So I tried to do the whole thing I'd practiced, it was so awkward because I was holding like so many things, with the tub and the lid and trying to get my phone on the camera app to hand to Santeri (he was taking all the pictures on our phones), and trying to hand out the cranes at the same time.

So ye I went down the line handing them out, until I got to Joel, and only him and Olli were left, and there was one crane left in the box, which was Olli's

Considering the vivid memory I have of that feeling of panic, I'm surprised I didn't cry on the spot lmao.

I just stared at Joel and the box for like TEN SECONDS STRAIGHT skfhshdb I had no idea what to do, I was trying to think out a way to explain something that I had no idea how it happened, only to have Santeri come over and hand a crane to Joel.

Took me like another 10 seconds to process what the hell happened, I was so confused until after jsjjfsh

So after that I got to Olli fine, gave him his crane and told him I still play bass after he told me last time that us bassists have to stick together :} I love him sm fr sjfhsh

So ye and I was dying so much after the whole cranes connundrum that I almost had my picture taken holding tupperware, luckily my sibling snatched it out my hands before Santeri took the pictures dkfhsh

Also, Santeri is rlly nice like, they were on overtime and he let me get Aleksi to sign the back of my jacket since he wasn't in the band last time I met them

But that doesn't mean he didn't give me a heart attack and a half lmao, my mum explained to me that while I was having my 'tunnel vision' moment, Santeri had taken Joel's crane from the tub (I'm still amazed at how I literally didn't see that happen) to look at it because he was curious

And then while they were packing up after the VIP, Santeri had his hands full of all the gifts (he held Porko the pig at arms length away for some reason djdkdsj which we found hilarious), was struggling to hold all these delicate little cranes, so we offered him the tub, and he was like "are you sure? Are you sure you really don't need it?" And we were like, ye take it!! We don't mind

So ye, that's the long-winded story of how giving blind channel origami cranes was both a nightmare and a dream come true, and how we gave Santeri the tupperware that was almost in my picture with Blind Channel

This probably isn't as wild to others as it is to me because it was literally 2 days ago and I'm still so excited sjdhsdh and Santeri is an icon and a meme for us now skdhsb