#While at the brewery I received an email telling me my blood test results were available online

[trivialbob]

Yesterday I had my annual physical. In preparation for the blood draw I'm supposed to fast for 12 hours. Stupidly, I scheduled my exam for the afternoon. That meant I could eat until 3:30 AM the night (early morning) before. I dined at 6:30 PM and didn't set an alarm for a post-midnight snack.

What was I doing in the hour before going to my appointment? Looking at fast food coupons that came in the mail. Not a bright move after 18 hours food free.

I did not get hangry, but I realized I swore a few times throughout the day. At work (for real), at my wife (kidding) and at the dogs (because Ella is the best fucking Aussie ever).

By the time I got to my appointment I was really hungry. Sadly, there is no extra credit awarded for adding seven hours to my fasting.

The nurse used an automatic sphygmomanometer to measure my blood pressure and didn't need a stethoscope. That was good because the rumbling of my stomach would have interfered with her hearing. (My BP numbers were excellent!)

In the week leading up to the testing and exam I'm extra careful about what I eat and drink.

Oh Bob! Why not do that for the preceding 51 weeks?

Have you never had pizza and beer?

Actually I do watch what I eat most of the time. I take meds for blood pressure and cholesterol and fully understand they don't give me carte blanche to over indulge. Despite what you may gather from my brewery stories, I'm generally careful about what and how much I drink.

When my blood was drawn for testing I (as always) flinched, starting from when the technician cleaned the site for the needle (AKA the crime scene). She smiled and correctly noted that this is not my favorite thing to do.

Then she tried to take my mind off it by asking for my dogs' names. Haha lady, I've heard that one before. I know all the tricks to distract young children and me. However, I barely felt the little jab. My anxiety is always wasted.

After my appointment I picked up a large pizza and met Sheila at the brewery. The evening after my annual physical is always Fat Tuesday.