#While I do love villains... JASON IS NOT A VILLAIN!! But he's clearly framed that way. 🙄

[outlawssweetheart]

I just... *sighs* What is the point of giving a villain very obvious trauma if you’re going to barely address it or never even actually address it at all?

[zahri-melitor]

Some more coherent thoughts about Gotham War, now it's settled on me.

(Spoilers below cut, for length and as it's still only Wednesday)

It's not a huge surprise, but Selina's whole 'train henches to steal from the rich non-violently!' ended up being a complete side issue that only existed to get the plot moving. Nobody's conception of this plot, in two years time, will really include this detail, despite the thousands of words spent arguing how ridiculous it was.

Yes it remains a poorly thought out plan on Selina's part (she's never heard of earning money legally) but the narrative also frames it as long term ineffective from the very first issue and knocks it down on multiple occasions.

DC editorial definitely tried to dress this up as a full family event, but realistically it was a Bruce, Selina and Jason event, written by their three current writers, with solid bit parts played by Tim and Dick.

Vandal Savage remains ridiculous and ready to sacrifice anyone and I appreciate that about him. As a villain he was just the right level of stakes for this event.

I enjoyed getting to see Scandal, even if her fans would say she got done dirty here. Scandal usually has enough sense not to believe anything Vandal says, and I admit I was somewhat waiting for some level of twist here as to why Scandal was all for immortality at this point in time, but it never came.

I still agree it felt a lot like three separate plotlines intersecting, but I think they managed to land the event successfully (while leaving some nice loose threads). I actually appreciate they didn't overreach in their goals.

It still finished out with two separate plotlines: Bruce and Selina and Jason; and Dick and Tim and the rest of the family. Structurally this again reminded me as much of Resurrection of Ra's Al Ghul as Batman #138 did; the main plot and then the far more interesting Dick & Tim sideplot which is what I go back to reread. (Chip Zdarsky is clearly also a fan)

Also promisingly for an event yes, it did actually shake up the status quo and push the participants off in new directions.

So Bruce is now doing the Loner Batman thing (in that he's locked out of the fam computers/comm lines), Selina is officially 'dead' (what is with all these fake dead people with titles, Penguin is too right now), and Jason has what's effectively permanent fear toxin response to stressful situations. Also, apparently, we are getting Dick and Barbara back 'running' the Batfam while Bruce is on the outs.

As far as Bruce goes, what has been really notable in this event is how much Chip Zdarsky loves early 2000s Bat comics and their dynamics, and particularly Joker's Last Laugh. There's a lot of structural things about how this event was shaped, what specific characters did, and emotional beats that feel very JLL as someone who's read it at least half a dozen times. It's not the only influence, but it's a pretty prominent one.

Bruce ending the event in a position where he's effectively not working with most of the other Bats actually tracks reasonably well over to Batman & Robin, to my surprise. It makes sense that it's just Bruce and Damian and they're focusing on homelife and domestic relationship details between the two. It gives Bruce an excuse for why he's closely focused on Damian there.

I will admit I have not been reading Catwoman, but from the event it seems they're spinning her off to keep moving her back into a more antihero position. Tini Howard clearly has a direction she wants to take Selina.

I actually think this has pretty interesting storytelling potential for Jason. It means that he has to stay calm, or has to overcome his own fear to achieve things. It gives him a goal? Matthew Rosenberg clearly seems interested in using it for his Jason storytelling and he's got Jason right now, so...

I'm personally delighted by how much Tim Zdarsky wrote into this storyline. He used the space more to show off Dick and Tim's brotherhood and what Tim is good at, rather than push the Tim side of the Zur story we're all expecting to occur (there's that waiting Zur-Robin costume). Means he's planning it for Batman as a title itself rather than getting it tangled up here.

"It was the only way to become the second-best Robin". Yes, this is Tim getting to show off his core competencies - he probably is the only Bat other than Bruce who would have extensively studied all the trophies. Dick would remember a lot of them simply because a lot of the trophies are from old adventures, but pretty much all the others are not particularly retrospective, respect the past sort of members of the group, while Tim has always been surrounded by the shadows of the past. I loved this note.

I haven't talked about Babs yet! She's in green, in glasses, sitting down at her computers with a novelty mug, directing everyone, answering to Oracle. That's her! That's my Oracle!

I do think Bruce expecting Dick to take over running the Batfam right now is a big ask, given he's also running the Titans as the main superhero team on the planet and handling Bludhaven, but Tom Taylor's writing both those books so I don't expect to see the stress catching up with Dick there. Benefits of writer choice right now, I guess. Also personally 'Babs and Dick organise everyone while Bruce has a breakdown elsewhere' is one of my favourite Batfam dynamics so you know, I'm pretty excited if we actually get to see this play out.

New Lazarus Pit in Gotham! This won't be a problem at all.

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

How about a request for batsis getting hurt during a mission and batboys exaggerate 😈 thank u!

I DO LOVE MY BATSIS AND BATFAM FICS LETS GOOOOOO

Also I’m assuming you want a reaction! If you want otherwise do let me know! So let’s get started!

Batsis!Reader Gets Injured in a Mission and the Batboys are the Only Ones Home

No Specified AU

TW: Language

Genre: Fluff, Light Comedy

[DC Masterlist]

Word Count: 1.3K

You skid to a stop on your motorcycle, leaving tire tracks behind you in the batcave. You could clean that later when you weren’t bleeding out. You stumbled off of the vehicle, your hand still clutching on to the bloodied towel that kept your uniform from getting dirty and took your helmet off. You had a rather dirty run in with a few lowtime criminals who some how got their hands on alien tech, how that happened you’d have to ask Star Labs later, but either way despite your many encounters with villains who were much worse, the sudden blast from a laser shocked you just enough for them to get at least a cut in. Regardless you took care of them quickly and took the weapons back, which were now pathetically hanging off the side of your motorcycle.

You rolled your shoulders back and began you ascent up the stairs to get back into the manor, it would be best if you cleaned this up as soon as you could because god were you tired. You opened the door quietly.

“Please may no one be home,” you said to yourself repeatedly. Your brothers had a knack for getting rather loud when you came back with cuts and bruises, but you couldn’t blame them with all of their unresolved trauma and the fact that you, miraculously, happen to be the one Bat that hasn’t either died and came back or gotten beaten nearly to death, which you constantly held over them because damn in this business that’s more than just an achievement.

You successfully made it to the bathroom and pulled out the small medical kit and started working on the shallow wound, and right as you finished the shower curtain pulled back.

“Ahh!” You jumped back.

“Ahh!” Tim got into a defensive stance.

“What the hell are you doing in the shower?!"

"What the hell are you doing without a shirt?"

"I asked first!"

"You don't just sit in the shower to think?" You do, but you lock the door when you decide to do that. "Oh my god, did you get injured?!"

"No," you grabbed your shirt and hid the bandages that wrapped around your torso. You both stared at each other for a moment before Tim darted out of the bathroom. "Don't you fucking dare tell anyone, Drake!" You followed him out and ran into the worst possible person.

"Whoa, careful there, (Y/N), when did you get home?" Dick asks. Then he notices your bandages. "What happened? Who did you fight? Why didn't you call for backup? Where were you?"

"Oh my god, I'm fine, Dick," you walked past him and he caught up with you.

"Fine? Fine? You didn't even wrap that right, (Y/N)," Dick begins his lecture and you begin to tune him out right as you walked into your room and shut the door. Dick, knowing his boundaries, stood outside still lecturing you, and you walked out with a new shirt on and continued to ignore him while he shot you rapid fire questions. "At least answer my first questions, (Y/N)." You sighed, and without turning to him, said,

"Got grazed with a knife. Ran into some burglars that for some reason had alien tech. Didn't need it. Downtown," you answered his questions in succession while entering the kitchen, waving to Jason, who was getting a snack, and Tim, who was probably telling Jason about your predicament.

"Alien tech? And they didn't use it?" Tim asks.

"Exactly, they probably didn't know how to. But it doesn't matter, because I am very clearly fine," you reached past Jason into the refrigerator and pulled out a fruit cup.

"You're bleeding through your shirt," Jason points out. You look down and he was right. You let out another loud sigh and tear off a few paper towels from the sink and placed them under your shirt. "At least dress it right or you'll die from bleeding out rather than actually getting stabbed."

"Well, to be fair, if Tim didn't spontaneously pop out of the shower maybe I would have," you complained.

"You didn't lock the door?" Jason turns to him.

"There are ten bathrooms in this mansion, I didn't think anyone would go in!" Tim defends. "But that's besides the point! (Y/N), I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation. If they had alien tech then that knife could have been laced with something."

"Are you implying that I could have alien eggs in me?"

"Why's everyone screaming?" The youngest Wayne entered the kitchen. "I can hear you all from my room."

"Tim thinks (Y/N) got eggs implanted in her," Dick says quickly.

"No, no I don't. Besides, that's not how alien fertilization works."

"You know how alien fertilization works?" You couldn't help the contorted face you made at the thought of how he knew.

"You always do this when we call you out, (Y/N), the point is you could very likely have some kind of alien virus or bacteria inside of you that could quite possibly kill you!"

"Tim, I'm pretty sure it was a normal knife," you walked over to the pantry and took out a bag of potato chips.

"But, if what Grayson just told me was right," Damien cuts in. "How stupid could you be? Letting something as simple as a knife get to you?" He mocks.

"If you weren't a kid I would've punted you by now," you pointed at him with a potato chip and ate it. "Do I have to remind you about last week?"

"No," he scoffs. "But that's not the point. You're trained well enough to avoid bullets and you let a knife get close to you? How out of it were you?"

"I will admit that the alien guns that also shot Bruce did distract me a little."

"And you let them go free?!" Jason finally grasped the gravity of the situation. "What if they come back to find you because they're pissed?"

"Relax, I have them in the batcave," you waved him off.

"You could've been killed," Jason argues.

"Oh stop being so dramatic, Todd, I'm obviously standing here right now, aren't I?"

"One shot from any of those and you could've either been disintegrated or catapulted into another dimension," Tim adds.

"Or worse, completely debilitated and decommissioned," Dick continues.

"You could be dying right now and you wouldn't know it because of how dense you are, (L/N)," Damien was next. You continued eating your chips while they started to talk over each other, then you finally spoke up.

"Okay, I get it, I'll be more careful from now on," you spoke in a steady voice. "Now, I'm gonna go clean this up because I was so rudely interrupted by someone, and when I come back, this discussion will be over," you held your hand up to silence Jason, who was about to retaliate. Then you walked over to the kitchen door and pulled it off of its hinges.

You stood there for a good few seconds, staring at the door in your hands, and the ruined door frame. Then you looked back at the other boys, who essentially all had their jaws on the ground.

"Could she do that before?" Jason asked Dick.

"No..." the other shook his head.

"Alfred's going to kill me..." you laid the door against the wall. You reached for the water bottle on the side of the table and opened it, intending to chug the whole thing down to calm your nerves, but none of the water came out, instead the whole thing was iced over. "Uh..."

The kitchen was silent. You ran back to the bathroom and took your shirt off then the bandages, seeing that the wound had turned blue and had completely frosted over. The other boys followed you, their heads sticking through the door.

"I was right?!" Tim's voice echoed throughout the manor and you slammed your head on the wall behind you.

[cyberfairyblog]

Why Jillian Sucks

Hi, welcome to Odyssey Mystery Hour! I'm your host @gritsandbrits and today I'll be talking about a hot topic in the AIO fandom! Wanna know the tea? Keep on reading!

In the weeks I started getting back into the radio series, the newer episodes have started to irk me, mostly because of one of the more annoying additions: Jillian. Marshall. 😬😬😬

Even though I ship Jason with my self insert OC this not going to be about her. There's a lot of reasons why I do NOT like the idea of Jillian x Jason becoming a canon thing on the show. I hope to describe these feelings as best I can.

Who is Jillian you might ask?

Well to put it simply, Jillian is what happens when a Soccer Mom and a TikTok boyfriend mate and spawn an unholy baby and name them Rachel Berry. Out of the aspects of Nu!Odyssey I dislike, Jillian is the one thing I truly despise. Thankfully I've met fans who share the exact sentiment! 😁😒

Double-N Annoying, Double-O Nincompoop

Making her debut in 2018, Jillian is described as lively and upbeat, if a little high strung and immature; the perfect recipe for Kid Appeal! Before she moved to Odyssey she lived in different cities and worked nineteen jobs before becoming roommates with Connie and her sister Jules.

Now this is actually a fairly interesting set up: a new character struggling to find purpose only to discover it in a quaint small town. But as it turns out her going through that many jobs seems to be more than just struggling to find purpose.

When I first saw her design my thought immediately went to the smarmy classmates I went to school with.

We're introduced with this iconic line: "Hi!! I'm Jillian Marshall, double-L Jillian, double-L Marshall! It's so nice to meet you!"

With that one sentence I knew I was about to die.

The following episode has Jillian bumbling through every job interview much to Connie's duress after which she conveniently ending up working at Triple J Antiques...the same place Jason works!

A little backstory on Jason: he is the adult son of John Whittaker, one of the show's main character, and a bit of an Ensemble Darkhorse. He was introduced as a secret agent meant to bring action and intrigue into the show. He was set up as a charismatic and reckless sort of guy clashing with the calmer Jack Allen. After the Green Ring Conspiracy Saga, Jason officially retired from James Bonding and settled down to work at the Allen's antique shop.

Given his immense popularity there's understandable concern for how he is written and who he gets paired up with. So what does that have to do with Jillian.

Well, the idea of Jillian working at the same exact place as Odyssey's resident bachelor and calling him cute raises a few eyebrows.

"B-but Grits all she did was call him cute! You're reaching too far into this!"

Am I? Look I know this wouldn't be much of a big deal too but that is a subtle tactic the writers threw in to get the cogs turning for Jillison. Jason is clearly uninterested and even implied to dislike her. Jillian bemoans this but Connie reassures her that that's not the case. But hey at least she called him cute so OF COURSE she's going to end up being his love interest!

To me removing a character's core trait to justify a romance means you do NOT know how to actually write a compelling romance. It's trite, it's forced and painful to listen to.

It's also obvious she's a replacement for Bernard, given they have similar personalities and her brief stint on TV (which she also failed at lol). But whereas Bernard was actually endearing, Jillian seems more of a cliche womanchild with zero self awareness and tact. No actual depth, just a personality that is incredibly dumbed down and even insulting. Seriously they made her the dumb blond stereotype in an era where we should've moved on from that! 🤦

Did I mention she goes to church?

Yep she's gonna be one of those Christians.

Literally Loveless, Literally!

Oddly enough the narrative frames this as a rivals to lovers thing, where Jason is both the charismatic friendly guy and the super uninterested Straight Man. The constant twisting the turning makes him go OOC. See we know he's fit better as the former because that goes in line with his canon personality. But when they make him the latter he just comes off as unnecessarily mean. This is turns frames Jillian as someone we should pity: "Oh the attractive male doesn't like me because I went into his office without permission!!"

Wouldn't it make more sense for Jillian to be the one uninterested in a romance since her focus in to find a job/better purpose and romance might distract her? That would make a fun subplot...IF SHE WASN'T OBNOXIOUS!

A pattern I noticed and several fans pointed out: Jason's previous love interests were consistent in that they were strong minded women who challenged him in different ways. Their personalities bounced off creating a fun dynamic that was entertaining to see. Even though they didn't end up with him, you can still see and hear and feel their chemistry which is my goal for Jason x OC. Tasha doesn't make Jason OOC & they had a bittersweet arc, so their interactions were organic. Monica only made him OOC because she was a villain actively manipulating him. So again that worked in terms of story and led to Monica's redemption if my memory serves.

However, Jillian's dynamic is not that fun to listen to. You can feel her annoying Jason through the airwaves. She's strong but only in the sense of feeling something hard underneath your back laying on the bed and realizing that's just your earbud. She's vibrant yes but what else? She doesn't have any unique traits to contrast Jason, and any attempt at a contrast would mean making him act out of character. Adding her bumbling clumsiness and annoying voice, Jason would get tired of her very quickly. He's the type to go for people to have intelligent conversations with, not make him lose braincells. She could very well bring out the worse in him, it'll be an unhealthy relationship.

Here's a tidbit worth mentioning: the VA for Jillian actually auditioned with Jason's VA Townsend Coleman. Now that is big ass red flag right there! No hate towards the actress, just throwing that out there. There's also a facebook page dedicated to Jillison. Typical FB stupidity ramped up to eleven, or AIO fans who see something in Jillian; or at least THINk they see something worthwhile in her.

It doesn't help the writers keep insisting that these two go well together. The audience knows they do not work well as a pair but the narrative keeps insisting they are anyways. I recall an episode that had them pretend to be married while undercover and it was bad. Like REALLY humiliating to see Jason put in that position. He also told her to shut up much to my joy because she could NOT stop being irritating for five minutes. Alas the show still tries to justify Jillian being the Perfect Woman for Jason when she's anything but. And not even endearingly imperfect.

Follow Up

These tags I wrote on one of the AIO posts describes how I feel about Villain Marshall and the Jillison coupling as a whole. It just wouldn't work because Jason needs someone that can actually CHALLENGE him, have their own personality that can bounce off his (without being forced), and most importantly DOESN'T AGGRAVATE THE FANDOM!!

I have not met a single person anywhere that say they like Jillian. It's a different story apparently on the Club App - they like her for reasons I'm too cowardly to find out. But no, she sucks as a character. She makes a annoying friend, and is not a good addition to the show, much less a good love interest.

The only good thing she brought us are the nicknames we gave her 😌

That's all for now thank you for tuning into the Odyssey Mystery Hour. Next week I'll be talking a bit more about my OC Vanessa and her role in the world of Odyssey! Goodbye and make sure to lock your doors to prevent Jillian from coming in!!

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 3 - Zombie Apocalypse

The story continues. At least one more part in the zombie world before moving on to the next one. 

Part 1 / Part 2 Linked here. (If I get to 5 pts or so I’ll make a master post)

Enjoy!

_____________________________

“Why’d they let YOU in?”

An angry shout stopped us in our tracks as we reached the center of the camp.

I paused, smiling. Ah, the nostalgic smell of unnecessary internal strife. NOW it feels like a proper post apocalyptic story.  I raised a hand in greeting. “Hey there, kind and pleasant person, I’m Blaire!”

“Don’t pretend like we’re friends! You shouldn’t be here!”  The angry young man stepped closer, allowing me to get a better look at his face. His copper colored hair framed sharp, angular features, his brown eyes practically burning with rage as he tried his best to stare a hole through me. 

He seems familiar. 

Searching my character’s memories, I was finally able to place him.  Jason, the hero’s best friend, who had gone to high school with my character. Before I could celebrate placing his identity, however,  I felt a surge of deep terror flood through me. My heart beat wildly in my chest, a cold sweat breaking out on my forehead. I frowned, pushing back the feeling that weren’t my own, but those from my character.

It’s rare for emotions from the character to be this strong, even in the last world I was able to easily put away any feelings of the character I’ve taken over. Why is she so scared? I don’t see anything in her memories that would warrant her being frightened of Jason. And why is he so antagonistic towards me?

As I stood there, trying to comb through what information my character knew about him, he had continued to rant. “Eric, what were you thinking accepting people like her?!”

Eric sent Hannah away with a smile, before turning towards his friend with a tired expression. “They have extra supplies and skills, both of which we’re in desperate need of.”

“We don’t need HER!”

As they argued, Liam walked up to me, pulling an apple from his bag. “Want a snack?”

“Sure, these idiots might take a while, I’d hate to get hypoglycemic while they argue.” Before I could say anything further, he pulled out a knife and silently started cutting the peel off.

“What are you doing?”

“Peeling the apple for you.”

“Why?”

“…” He paused, looking honestly confused. “I’m not sure, but I feel like this would make you happy.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head in amazement. “I love apples, but I can’t stand the peel. How did you know?”

“Really?” He grinned, continuing to peel. “My support husband instincts must be kicking in.”

“You’re very… optimistic.”

“Thanks!”

I sighed. “Don’t get attached, Liam. It won’t end well.” I thought of the heart wrenching pain I had felt when pressing “No”  in the last world. That was just after 4 weeks. If I have to stay here years…

“It’s okay. I already count myself fortunate being your lackey.” His smile was bright, but his attention to the apple never wavered. “As long as you live well. I think I could die happy.”

I shuddered. The habit was just too strong. A character casually mentioning dying in a story…such a red flag. “Try not to die. Happy or otherwise.”

���Yes ma’am.” He saluted, his silly expression making me feel less tense. 

“Blaire! I’m talking to you!” Jason had finished arguing with Eric while Liam and I chatted and was obviously still furious.

I felt the same edge of fear from the character at the sight of him again, and pushed it back down with irritation.

“That must be so exhausting to be so angry all the time.”  I muttered quietly as I watched him approach.

Liam nodded. “No kidding. I think I’ll need a nap just from watching him perform.”

Jason stopped just a few feet away, sneering. “I don’t know what lies you sold Eric earlier, but don’t’ forget, I know the real you! You’re a rich brat without any skills! You’re deadweight to any group, just a worthless bit….ARGH!” He flew backwards as a mostly-peeled apple struck him in the mouth, splitting his lip.

“Oops. Sorry did that hit you?” Liam watched him coldly, not sounding sorry at all. “My hands get slippery when I hear pure stupid.”

“Is that why people around you tend to get hit with flying projectiles often?

“It’s a curse…” He paused, then looked mortified. “THAT WAS MY LAST APPLE!”

“It’s okay.”

“WHY DIDN’T I USE A STONE?” He groaned into his hands. “That idiot wasn’t worth losing your snack! Now you’re going to go hungry!”

“I’m fine…” I tried to comfort him, but he had already pulled out a walkie-talkie and was growling instructions in some sort of code.

Jason, on the other hand, was now pointing in shock at Liam. “You! You’re William the destroyer!”

“…” I glanced over at the man who was still panicking over his lack of snack options to offer me.

“What’s the leader of the Blood Wolves doing here?” Jason was now looking nervous, clambering to his feet and keeping a good distance from us both

Liam ignored him, continuing to talk on his walkie talkie. Shaking my head, I stepped in between him. “He’s with me. Do you really want to argue now about whether or not we should be here?”

“But… but…”

“Jason!” Eric had returned, a grim look on his face. “I told you to leave them alone. We’ll go out hunting for supplies tomorrow, they can prove their worth then.”

Jason’s expression showed his clear unwillingness, but he slowly nodded. “Sure.” Glancing towards me, he sneered. “Then I guess tomorrow we’ll see just how useless you are.”

“Did I step on your dog or something? Seriously, try to reign in the hostility there, buddy.”  With that, I turned and walked towards the empty tent Eric had pointed out earlier. 

Despite my casual tone and outer appearance, my hands were clenched at my sides, the fingernails digging into my palms to keep my hands from shaking. My back was soaked with sweat, an uncontrollable reaction from the character I had become.

What is going on? It had been a long timesince I had been unable to fully control my character’s emotions like this. I swallowed uncomfortably. The sensation  was unpleasant, a sense of incongruity between body and soul that I couldn’t quite overcome. It reminded me too much of the first mission I had undergone, the worst time of my life that I could still remember.

Waking up without memories, with no idea of who I was or why I was there, thrust into a romantic drama where my mission was to fulfill the role of a foolish, calculating villainous side character. Overwhelmed by intense love for the male lead and mind-numbing hatred for his heroine, I lost myself in despair. Later, I would learn to maintain my sense of identity. Even if I didn’t know who I was, I at least knew who I wasn’t.

And I wasn’t this character. A spoiled, angry young woman who thought the world revolved around her.

So why can’t I remember clearly? Not just Jason, even the events surrounding my character’s kidnapping and death were vague.

Something’s wrong with this world.

Sitting down with a sigh, I pulled out my phone.

“Let’s see how helpful this new ‘character description’ function is.” I typed in Jason’s name. After a moment to process, the phone’s screen filled with text.

Jason, the hero’s best friend and this world’s hopeless secondary male lead. In the story, he is shown to be in love with Hannah, but hides his feelings for fear of hurting his friends. He often supports her from behind, helping the hero rescue her during her frequent misadventures and kidnappings. Despite his devoted acts, Hannah remains blissfully unaware of his feelings, and treats him as a friend.

Nothing to explain why my character is scared of him. I grinned maliciously as I re-read the part about his unrequited love. “No wonder he’s so high strung. If he were nicer I might even feel sorry for him.”

Unable to control my curiosity, I typed in a second name.

“William.”

Character unknown.

“Hmm. Let’s try ‘Liam.’”

Character unknown.

“Blood Wolves.”

The most notorious and highly skilled gang in this story’s world, they often sell their services as mercenaries, and are considered a major power in the post-apocalyptic society.

I stared at the screen, even more confused. Such an important group, but the leader isn’t mentioned? Who is Liam?

But no matter how much I searched, there were no answers.

_____________________________

Shortly later, Liam called me out.  The smell of freshly cooked food hastened my steps, and I sat at a table across from Hannah, ignoring her wide-eyed look of fear at my approach.

“The others are checking the perimeter. Here, I made you dinner!” Liam placed a bowl in front of both of us with a proud grin. It was filled with a stew, with vegetables and chicken. Hannah stared at the food suspiciously, although I didn’t see anything wrong with the food. Carefully, I lifted a spoonful up to my mouth, my eyes widening with shock.

“It’s delicious!”  I took another few bites before pausing. “Where did you get the ingredients?”

Liam sat down next to me, peeling an apple with an affectionate grin. “My friends happened to have gathered some extra supplies and brought them over.”

“… You sent the Blood Wolves on a snack run?”

“What were they supposed to do? Let you go hungry?” He raised an eyebrow.  “They wouldn’t dream of it.”

“I don’t know how you manage to sound so supportive and yet so… ominous at the same time.”

“It’s one of my many talents, I’m so glad you noticed!”

Hannah watched our exchange back and forth, before looking down at the food once more. She seemed very hungry, but she still hadn’t made any moves towards eating.

“You should try it, it tastes really good!” As I coaxed the girl sitting across from me, I saw Liam beaming with pride.

“…” She stared silently at us both for a long few moments before nodding and taking a bite, her hands shaking and almost spilling the stew from her spoon. As she swallowed the food however, her eyes filled with tears.

Why do all the heroine’s I meet cry so easily? Maybe the problem is with me? Do I just not cry enough?

“It tastes so good!” She ate quickly, blinking to keep back the tears that were threatening to spill over.

Oh… so… happy tears? That’s refreshing. I patted her on the shoulder gently. “Not had a lot of hot meals lately, huh?”

Hannah nodded at my sympathetic words. “Yeah, Eric and James are too busy with security and supply runs. And I…” Her words trailed off.

Why hello there, mission opportunity!I rejoiced inwardly but kept a gentle look on my face.  “You what?”

“I’m weak… I can’t fight. I can’t even cook.” She looked up at me her eyes still wet with unshed tears. “I wish I could be scary like you…”

… Scary?

Liam laughed at my dumbfounded expression, quickly silencing himself as I turned to glare at him. Looking back over at Hannah, I tried to smile comfortingly, the expression stiffening as a look of terror flashed across her face.

“You want to be a well-rounded useful person? I can help you.” Not like I have a choice.

“Really?” Hannah clasped her hands together in front of her. She still looked frightened, but excitement was clearly pushing back her fear. “I really want to be helpful!”

“Really. Just come watch me tomorrow during the outing. I’ll show you what I can do. From there, we’ll come up with a plan.”

She now was smiling brightly, giving off the impression of a small, adorable animal that should be protected. “I promise I’ll work hard, Boss!”

She trusts me so quickly… no wonder she kept getting kidnapped. 

“Wait... Did you just call me Boss…?”

“One day, I pray I can be just as terrifying as you!” Hannah cheered excitedly. 

“…”

I feel like her motivation has gone in a weird direction.

As I struggled on how to answer her, Liam nodded solemnly. “It’s good to have goals, but you shouldn’t aim too high.” He handed me the freshly peeled apple, and continued. “No one’s as terrifying as your Boss. But with hard work and effort, one day, you can reach ‘lackey status’ like me!”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” The two high-fived as I watched on silently, feeling tired.

“… I’m going to bed.”

_____________________________

The next morning, we all headed out, running into a group of zombies, almost immediately.  We halted a good distance away to discuss a plan.

“Will it be okay?” Hannah’s face looked extremely nervous as she looked at the zombies in the distance.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you!” Jason smiled at Hannah, his eyes full of tender emotion.  “I promise, as long as I have breath in my body, no zombie will get near you.”

I still felt a small thread of fear running through me as I looked at him, but fortunately, it was much easier to control now. I rolled my eyes at his words. Didn’t the character summary say hehides his feelings? How is this subtle at all?

Eric stared at his friend silently for a moment, and then patted Hannah’s head with a sigh. “Make sure to stay away from the fight.” Loading up a handgun, he glanced over at me. “Are you coming?”

“Ha, bet you’re gonna run and hide, huh?” Jason glared at me, his face looking extremely punchable, forcing me to hold back.  

I sighed, admiring my self –restraint. “I’ll take the ten on the right.”

“There’s only fifteen!”

“Yeah, so we’ll split it by skill.” I turned back and grinned. “Ten for me, four for Eric and one for you.”

Pulling out my sword, I headed over, ignoring his stuttered complaints.

GRRRR.

The closest of the zombies was reaching out towards my head, several fingers missing from its hands, its half rotten jaw open, ready to bite.

I lopped it head off, knocking the body away from me.

IT SMELLS SO BAD!!! I had only been able to wash in cold water from a basin. I still desperately missed hot showers.

“Go Boss!”

“Yeah! Kill the zombies! You’re the best!”

Shouts from behind me caught my attention. After killing several more zombies I glanced over, giving out a loud sigh at the sight.

Liam and Hannah cheered off to the side, jumping up and down with excitement.

“Zombies don’t stand a chance against her!”

“Yeah! They’re toast!”

… I’m just going to ignore them for now.

In the corner of my eye I saw Jason struggling to defeat his first zombie, waving a metal bat but missing several passes. He backed up, putting some distance between him and his foe, and turned to stare longingly at Hannah for a few moments, before looking over to glare at me as he realized who she was cheering for. I smiled and winked, watching with interest as his face turned even redder with rage.

Feeling an undeniable urge to taunt, I called out to him as I continued to decapitate zombies.

“Don’t lose focus, little Jason! Or do you need me to help you with your one zombie too?”

“SHUT UP!”

“Try not to bully him, please.” Eric called out as he calmly dodged attacks, occasional shots ringing out. Each was a perfect headshot, as expected of the hero of an action novel. “Jason is sensitive to criticism.”

I nodded, kicking a zombie head into the air and batting it away with my sword, watching it sail away with interest. “Sorry, I’ll try harder to support his emotional well being.”

“Thanks!”

Having finished off our respective zombies, Eric and I high fived before heading back towards the rest of the group.

“Guys… I’m still fighting here!” Jason’s helpless cries caused me to pause.

I glanced at Eric “Will he be okay?”

“Yeah, he’s just milking it so Hannah will pay more attention to him.”

“And you’re okay with that?”

Eric shrugged. “Not really, but he doesn’t step over the line and extra hands are necessary, so I just ignore it.”

Is this a… reasonable male lead? Could it be possible?

“Okay, then.” I raised a hand, not turning around. “Good luck Jason, we believe in you!”

Eric grinned and called out behind him. “See you back in camp, buddy!”

“Boss!” Hannah ran up with a grin. “That was amazing!”

Liam stepped closer, handing me a thermos with hot tea. “I told you she was awesome! She saved my life, you know.”

I ignored him, turning my attention to Hannah. Time to make some progress on this mission. “Did what you see today inspire you?”

“Yeah!”

“Do you want to be helpful?”

“Yeah!”

Getting excited, I pumped a fist into the air. “You want to be strong and fight along side me?!”

“…” Hannah stared at me in shock. “What? No. Fight zombies? It’s scary… and kind of gross.”

I looked at her silently. “I… thought you were inspired?”

“Yeah! But not like that.” She nodded firmly. “I realized I was too eager when I wanted to be as terrifying as you…”

“HEY!”

“So I’ve decided.” She grinned. “I’m going to be a professional lackey, just like Liam!”

“…”

“…”

Eric and I sighed in unison.

Liam smiled, patting Hannah on the shoulder. “Now don’t look down on us weak and vulnerable support spouses!”

“You’re not even weak…and we’re not married...”

“We may depend on our stronger counterparts to protect our lives, but we can keep everything running smoothly so you don’t have to worry about anything else.” He looked at me expectantly. “How is your tea?”

Giving up on arguing, I sipped it, and paused, shocked. “It’s… amazing. How did you even make hot tea out here?”

“It’s a trade secret.” Hannah and Liam gave each other a thumbs up, as Hannah handed Liam a thermos, which he drank from silently.

We headed back to camp.

“I feel like we’re forgetting something.” I muttered as I sipped my tea.

“GUYS? WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!! I’m STILL FIGHTING!” Jason’s angry shriek pierced the air, but no one turned around.

“I know what it is!” Liam grinned, cleaning one of my hands with a warm towel before handing me a freshly peeled apple. “Here, snack!”

“HANNAH? ERIC? ANYONE?”

I nodded, taking a bite. “That must have been it.”

_____________________________

A few days passed.

I tried again to convince Hannah to train to fight, thinking that combat skills would be the fastest way to  change her status as kidnappable dead weight.  After much convincing, she agreed to start training with me.

Unfortunately, the results were not what I had hoped for.

“OWW!” Hannah laid on the ground, staring up at me sadly. “I’m dying.”

“All I did was have you hold my sword. We haven’t even started fighting yet.”

“It hurts.”

“How did you even hurt yourself?” I stared at the small cut on her leg in consternation. “You only had the sword for fifteen seconds?”

Needless to say, the sword was confiscated. Strengthening exercises were meant with similar outcomes.

“How’s it going?” Liam brought me a bowl of hot soup, as I stared in disbelief at the figure attempting to do a pushup in front of me.

I pulled out my phone, glancing at the mission screen. The first completion bar for Hannah’s mission had been stuck at 10% since we started. “Not good. This is still her first push up.”

“Well, everyone takes a different amount of time…”

“We’ve been out here four hours.”

“Oh… how’s the soup?”

I sighed, taking time to try it. “It’s amazing. I’m still convinced you might be magic to be able to cook like this in the apocalypse.”

“This is just the beginning of my skills!”

I drank the soup quietly, staring at Liam while thinking.

“What is it?” He grinned. “You think I’m handsome and finally want to upgrade me from lackey to support spouse?”

“Who are you?”

My question was whispered, but he still heard it, a look of helplessness spreading across his face. This wasn’t the first time I had asked him this.

“I’ve told you everything, Blaire. I swear I’m not hiding anything from you.”

“You’ve told me everything you’ve remembered.” I corrected him quietly, turning away. Focusing my attention back on Hannah, I couldn’t help but feel discouraged. “This isn’t going to work.”

“You said you’re trying to make her a well-rounded, useful person, right?” Liam finally spoke up, his expression thoughtful. “You might be pushing her in the wrong direction. There are many different ways to help out, fighting is just one of them.”

“Yeah… but that’s what I’m good at.” I rubbed my head. “If I have to teach her other skills, I might not be able to.”

I had memories from multiple story worlds, but most of them required me to act as a brain dead villain, not staying long. Only a few provided practical skills such as the assassin guild story.  A sense of frustration filled me.  

“I can teach her cooking, supply management, and basic book-keeping.”  Liam watched me, seemingly worried. “And you can teach her your special skill.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Negotiation.” He grinned. “It’s amazing to watch you reduce that idiot Jason to an apoplectic fit every time you argue.”

I thought it over, a small return smile forming on my face. “I guess I have developed some good interpersonal skills. I once helped my brother overcome an obsession with behavior modification training.”

“You have a brother?” He asked, his eyes widening.

“In a different life.” I felt a pang of loneliness for the time I had spent in the previous world. I wondered if Adam was doing well. Looking back at Liam, I reached over and patted him on the head.

“I’m glad you’re here.” That I got to see you again. Even if you look different. Even if you don’t remember me.

Liam froze with shock at my touch for a few moments, before his face lit up with delight. “I’m glad I’m here too!”

I looked back down at Hannah, who still hadn’t completed her first push up. “Let’s go with your plan.”

Scratching the plan to make the heroine a one woman army, it was time to make her into an overpowered support character.

[writingblock101]

Roof Tops (Duke Thomas x Reader)

Request for Anon: “If we get caught, you can’t speak English, and I’m deaf!” with Duke

Based off actually rooftops I’ve gone on. Trespass carefully kiddos. 

Word count: 1,600

Tags: @idkmanicantenglish @mayahoelland2013 @incrediblysadstudent (hello discord friend, welcome to my account)

“Come on, babe,” Duke begs. “It’ll be fun!” 

“I don’t know, Duke…” You trail off. “What if we get caught?” 

“If we get caught, you can’t speak English and I’m deaf,” Duke insists, very sold on his foolproof plan. 

You can’t help but chuckle at his plan. 

“What if we get caught by someone more dangerous than the cops?” You propose. 

“Good thing you’ll have Signal there to protect you,” He grins, puffing his chest. “I’ve done this a lot before, I know all the good spots.” 

You frown again, skimming through all the possibilities. Roofing sounds really cool and you would love to see Gotham at night from some rooftops, but you’re afraid of getting caught. It would constitute as trespassing and your parents would kill you if you got arrested. 

“Please,” He begs, looking eager. “I promise I’ll keep you safe.” 

You sigh, barely able to say no to his excitement. 

“Okay, fine. Let’s go roofing.” 

“Yes!” Duke cheers, giving you a quick kiss. “Trust me, you’re going to love it. We’ll leave at 11. Wear something dark.” 

“11?” You question, looking down at your phone. “It’s not even 6 o’clock yet!” 

“We’ve gotta wait until everything closes,” Duke points out. “Also, I may or may not be luring you into a dinner at the Manor,” He ends with a hopeful grin. 

You sigh, rolling your eyes. While you like your boyfriend’s dysfunctional family, sometimes dinners get a little out of hand. 

“Come on, I need someone to back me up in mediating arguments between Damian and Tim,” Duke pouts. “I don’t have Dick or Cass there to help and Jason just adds fuel to the fire.” 

“Alright, fine,” You chuckle. “Is Bruce going to care about us trespassing?” 

Duke snorts. 

“That would be very hypocritical of him, but no. He’ll have much more pressing matters to deal with than my hobbies than don’t include actively picking fights with criminals.” 

You chuckle and kiss Duke’s cheek. 

“Look at you, the new golden child.” 

“No!” He protests. “Do not curse me with that! I do not need this family’s daddy issues!” 

You toss your head back, laughing. 

“Oh, come on, they’re not that bad.” 

“Jason came back from the dead and started killing criminals to spite Bruce. Are you serious?” 

“Well, at least that means you’re probably not going to do anything worse.” 

“Worse?” Duke laughs sputteringly. “What do you think I’m going to do?!” 

You grin, leaning back against his chest. 

“Dunno, babe. You’re the genius. I’m sure you’ll figure out something to wow me.” 

“Or just go on to become the lamest super villain ever,” Duke rolls his eyes. “How did I end up here? My tragic backstory? No, I was challenged into one uping my brother’s rebellion.”

“Well, you’re not going to sell shit with that attitude!” You protest. 

Duke laughs wrapping his arms around you. 

“You’re right, how could I be so pessimistic?” He remarks dryly then stands up, pulling you to your feet. “Come on, let’s go see what Alfred is making.” 

. . . 

“This feels so sketchy,” You admit, sitting in Duke’s car now dressed in all black. 

He chuckles, pulling around the back of an empty shopping center. 

“This is honestly kind of how I feel when I go on patrol,” He admits. “Just chilling on a rooftop, waiting for trouble to happen.” 

Duke parks next to a dumpster then you both climb out of the car, you eyeing the tall building. 

“Are you sure we won’t be seen?” You ask hesitantly. 

“There aren’t any security cameras back here,” Duke reassures you. “Also, the shopping center has been closed for two hours now, they leave the main ladder to the roof unlocked, and the restaurant across the street is closed for renovations,” He walks over to where the ladder is guarded by a cage, easily unlatches it, and swings it open. “You coming?” 

You grin, and start climbing up the ladder, Duke following close behind. Once reaching the top, you swing your leg over the ledge, looking out across the various air conditioning units. 

“Come on,” Duke takes your hand. “We’ve got a little more climbing to do.” 

He leads you over to where another building starts and gives you a boost up. He easily pulls himself over the ledge then takes you to a steeply slanted concrete wall. 

“This is where the sign is,” Duke explains. “I’ve found if you run up the wall and grab the ledge, you can pull yourself up.” 

He demonstrates, making it look way too easy. 

“You got this!” He cheers from his spot on top of the sign. 

You take a breath, wiping your hands on your pants then scramble up the wall, managing to catch the ledge. Using your feet to push you up, you pull yourself up on top of the sigh and sit next to Duke, your feet dangling off the edge of the building. 

There’s something peaceful about looking into the empty parking lot at night. It’s lightly misting out, giving everything a slight haze. You admire the city lights and enjoy the peace of the nighttime. Duke pulls an arm over your shoulder as you both sit quietly. 

“You know,” You say after a while. “From up here, you’d never think this city was crazy enough to need a small army of vigilantes to keep it functioning.” 

Duke laughs then stands up, holding his hand out to you. 

“I’ve got one more spot I want to take you.”

He guides you back down to the car and drives to another area you haven’t been before. 

“Electric Cowboy?” You read off an old sign. 

“It was a club,” Duke explains. “It closed a while ago and now it’s abandoned. I want to try to get on the roof.” 

“Is it open?” You ask, noticing the padlocked front doors. 

“It is around back,” Duke slowly drives behind the old building, pointing to multiple open doors. 

“Then doesn’t that mean someone has been in there?” You raise an eyebrow. “Someone might be living in there.” 

“I’ve walked around inside a little bit. No one is living there, but it looks like some people got drunk and threw around some bar stools and stuff,” Duke explains, unclipping his seat belt. “Don’t worry,” He tells you. “I’ll keep you safe.” 

Even though it sounds a little sketchy, you can’t help but be excited as the prospect of what could be inside the abandoned building. 

“Alright,” You agree, hopping out of the car. 

You and Duke turn on the flashlights on your phones and slowly approach an iron staircase. You glance in a nearby trashcan, noticing fast-food wrappers, but they seem to have been there for a few days, hopefully, a promising sign that nobody has taken shelter in the abandoned club. The staircase seems mostly steady, just a bit rusted. 

Duke pushes the door open more with his foot and shines his flashlight inside. 

“Why do I feel like the first person that dies in a horror movie?” You ask. 

Duke shoots a grin over his shoulder. 

“We’re going to be fine. Besides, I have more than enough experience to survive a horror movie.” 

He walks inside, you following slowly behind him, shining your flashlight into every possible nook and cranny. Inside, the carpeted floors are covered in a thick layer of dust. All the tables, chairs, and bar stools are gone, perhaps already sold. The club clearly followed the western theme with a large mirror on one side, salon-style doors, and curved frames on the walls. 

It’s strange to see a club completely empty, but you will admit, it’s pretty cool. 

“I think I see an office over there,” Duke nudges your shoulder. 

You follow Duke to the side room. Duke is right-- it looks like it may have once been an office with an old desk settled in the middle of the room. There’s a bar stool deeply embedded in the sheet rock. 

“I’m guessing this is what you meant by people throwing stuff around?” You ask, pointing at the bar stool. 

“Yeah,” Duke nods. “There’s another door over here, but it’s closed.” 

You two slowly approach the door and frown at the lack of a doorknob. Duke shines his light through the hole where the doorknob is and peers into the room. 

“It looks empty,” He shrugs then carefully pushes the door open, insuring you’re positioned behind him in case someone is waiting on the other side. 

The door opens to a long, dark hallway, but on the right, is another open door leading to a small porch. You step onto the porch with Duke then look on the side of the building to spot a ladder than goes up to the roof. 

“Jackpot,” He grins at you then gestures for you to start climbing. 

Once you reach the top, Duke is quick to join you. He grins, taking your hand, and you two walk to where the sign is on the building, sitting on the ledge and dangling your feet off the side. Across the street, there is a bar where you can see groups of stumbling patrons being piled into cars with much more sober friends. 

The club is closer to the city than the shopping center is so you can see more of the Gotham skyline. Bright boxes of light pouring out from business buildings and apartment buildings shine brightly against the dark sky. Ribbons of colors from building decorations and billboards decorate the black skyline and a steady flow of cars zip by in the distance on high ways and interstates. 

“Okay,” You admit, resting your head on Duke’s shoulder. “This is pretty cool.” 

Duke kisses the top of your head then pulls an arm around your shoulder. 

“Told you that you would like it.” 

Yes, Electric Cowboy was a real place. No, I never went in it when it was open, only when it was abandon. 

I want to replace my profile picture and background on this account. Anyone have any suggestions?

[m00nslippers]

Bizarro and Artemis are back, in RHATO Annual #3

I’m back with a review of the RHATO annual #3 and it is so good to see Biz and Artemis again. I think we’ve all missed them. Hopefully this issue heralds their triumphant return in the next arc (after the one this is previewing), but let’s get into this.

We get a preview of the upcoming arc that we know involves Lex Luthor recruiting Jason to teach a bunch of kids how to be villains...or something. I’m sure we’ll figure out more in the new issues coming up. I highly doubt that’s all there is to it. I think it’s pretty obvious that Jason isn’t on the side of villains or creating more villains even if he isn’t strictly a hero. So I’m guessing there is some subterfuge involved in his plan and possibly Lex is trying to influence him a bit, maybe holding the fact that he helped Bizarro over his head, something like that. I think it’s most likely that he’s investigating Lex while pretending to work for him and teach in his villain school while secretly teaching all the kids values and whatnot. That would be cute, anyway.

I have to point out this moment though, because I’m not sure how I feel about it. Basically this kid can sense/contact people who are dead but it’s mentally or physically painful, but Jason asks him to do it anyway. Yeah, he expects that it won’t work and therefore not hurt because he thinks Artemis and Bizarro aren’t dead, and also the pain might be minor and finding out if someone is dead or alive is pretty important, worth some mild discomfort even to a child, but I don’t really like the attitude he has when saying, “I’m not asking.” I think he must be playing up/pretending he’s villainous because otherwise that seems pretty out of character for him. He’s generally straight forward but kind to children, animals and non-normative people (like Biz). So I’m kind of assuming he’s acting this way because of circumstances we are going to find out more about in the next issue. Basically the take away from the interaction is that Biz and Artemis are not dead.

So it picks up 6 months before the events of Jason talking to the kid. What this means is that between issue #25 of RHATO and upcoming issue #37, 6 months have elapsed, which seems reasonable. I’ve head-canoned Jason’s current age at 22 and I think this time frame supports that idea (there is reason to believe he was 21 in the Eternal comics).

Also, Artemis and Bizarro are clearly alive and in an alternate dimension where the Hall of Justice has been defaced and renamed “the Hall of Punishment” and is a ‘museum’, with the Justice League dead and disrespected. Everyone, even Superman.

As it turns out, the world is like this because of some bomb which made regular humans metas and metas regular humans, so most of the Justice League immediately became helpless without their abilities to almost everyone around them who now had meta abilities. What this means for people like Jason and the bats in this world who didn’t have powers to begin with is a real question, but not one we get answered. Basically, humans who now had powers and felt resentful of heroes who had originally had powers, took it out on the former heroes, hunting them down and putting them into camps where they eventually died. Which...okay, people are jerks so it seems reasonable that once they had powers some people would find any and every excuse to beat up on people who made them feel weak before so this isn’t a completely stupid basis for an alternate dystopia.

After it’s established that Artemis doesn’t have access to Mistress (or presumably the Bow of Ra) because she can’t call her weapon across universes--which seems reasonable--we get introduced to a few one-off villains.

And like...the moment I saw these guys I shook my head because they are just classic Lobdell-type villains. Flat, corny, names are puny as hell, your stereotypical comic book villains. I’m not knocking it, they are fine for minor villains that only exist for a one shot, at least they are kind of memorable for being so ridiculous, I’m just mildly amused at their everything. One guy is some kind of discount horror-villain butcher character that you can’t understand called Butcher Block, another is a freaking Pop-Eye-esque Milk Man called DAIRY KING because of course he is, and there’s a pigish cop and a chick in a Carebear shirt who holds her hand like an air phone and goes by the name ‘Air Quote’. And the fiery butterfly chick who looks like the love-child of Firefly and Bumblebee. There are just...no words. I just can’t even, you guys.

Along the way on their adventures they meet a guy calling himself Jack Knife who is part of the resistance against the normal people with super powers who made the world all dystopian and messed-up and didn’t agree with people killing former heroes in camps. Also, he is very clearly this universe’s Joker. I haven’t seen anyone mention this, but I’m not crazy here, right? Like, this is as obvious as I think it is, isn’t it? The guy’s name is Jack Knife, so his name is Jack, like Jack Napier, the Joker’s identity in many iterations of him. He has this long, sharp face with a crazy chin and wide mouth, is a bit of a wise-cracker and he wears a purple waistcoat and a green tie and a yellow shirt and has a flower in his lapel--like the Joker-- and uses pistols and knives, like...this guy is clearly the freaking Joker over here!

I can only assume Jason has not filled Artemis or Biz in on his issues with the Joker--which would be pretty in-character for Jay--or at the very least they have never seen him and don’t recognize him because this team up would have been over before it started if they had. They might still have went along with him, since this is a different guy, but they would have been suspicious.

Also, Jack doesn’t seem to have any powers...meaning he had powers before ‘hero day’ when metas lost their powers and norms gained powers...meaning the Joker is a meta. So that’s a thing. The reason the Joker is so wily and weird and doesn’t seem to die or age is because he’s a meta, you guys. You heard it here.

So we get the ‘6 months later’ flash forward and Artemis and BIzarro are working as part of the resistance along with the Flutterby girl seems to have defected in the time skip. Arty and Biz have gone native with some awesome, in my opinion, costume changes. Biz has a beard and muscle shirt and like...latex pants or something, which I am super into for some reason, and Artemis has your stereotypical punk haircut with the shaved head. It’s kind of an overdone design but I can’t lie, I think it works for her, she rocks it.

But even more importantly there’s this awesome interaction between Biz and Flutterby where Biz shows just how much he listens and values and still remembers Jason even after all this time. Their bond is just so strong, even now. Biz stops the girl from killing someone, remembering Jason’s values, which just drives home the fallacy that Jason just kills all criminals. No, Jason thinks for some people, the cost of leaving them alive outweighs the moral price of killing them. It’s a thing you have to do sometimes, something you are sometimes morally obligated to do in his opinion, but not a first resort. That’s what he taught Biz and Bizarro is teaching Flutterby. But he also taught Biz that sometimes you gotta get even, so he lets her give the guy some revenge knocks too, heh. Oh Biz, you’re a chip off the old block. Jay would be proud.

As this is happening, Jack Knife and Artemis are being held ‘prisoner’ (turns out it’s all part of their plan) by...General Samuel Lane?! Yeah, Lois’s dad. I don’t know much about him, I haven’t read anything with him in it, but I guess he’s kind of an on-the-fence secret-service type usually, like Amanda Waller, but seeing him as an outright villain is a bit surprising to me. There is probably no relation, but Lane has also cropped up in the recent Leviathan Event where everyone, seems to think Jason is Leviathan (I don’t, but we’ll see I guess.) I just thought that was interesting. There’s not mention of Lois but there IS mention of...

Lex-fucking-Luthor. Who is apparently a big, nasty head-brain monster, like MODOK or something now. Apparently the meta bomb was his brain-child (heh) and he’s surprisingly okay with the outcome that he’s a giant head that gets around via fork-lift and the world is messed-up. In fact, he and Lane are itching to drop one on Artemis and BIz’s world too! Which they can do, because Luthor--or more likely some minion, I mean he doesn’t have hands anymore--went around collecting the splinters of the doorway which Bizarro and Artemis originally went through to get to this universe.

As the resistance springs their trap Bizarro calls everyone Outlaws which warms my heart. The Outlaws isn’t the same without Biz and Artemis (or Star and Roy), Red Hood is an outlaw, sure, but the team is what made it special, made it something other than Jason just trying to right the wrongs he thinks the other heroes are letting slide because they won’t get their hands dirty. They are better together.

And so in this comic we see an example of the Outlaws sparing some criminals and them outright killing one when Artemis straight-up murders Lex Luthor, hell yes. The guy was just a nasty psychic brain on a fork-lift anyway, it was probably a mercy kill. And then Biz and Artemis jump through the doorway and hopefully end up...home?

This issue was pretty straight forward, just a one-off side story to explain where Biz and Artemis have been, nothing revolutionary. The art was pretty good, though there are a few panels at the beginning where Artemis has really weird expressions. I really enjoyed Biz and Artemis’s costume change, I hope they stick with something like it when they do meet back up with Jason eventually. Two things stood out to me. One, that Biz and Artemis, despite probably only being with Jason a shorter amount of time than they actually ended up spending apart, clearly hold Jason and the Outlaws very dear and are keeping The Outlaws and everything it stood for alive. It’s so wonderful to see someone in the goddamn DC Universe loves and appreciates Jason like he deserves. They can’t return fast enough, IMO, but I don’t think they will drop back into the story until the very end or just after this upcoming arc with Lex Luthor.

The other thing that stood out to me...was the freaking alt-Joker on the Outlaws team! What?! Like I’m not mad or happy, I’m just...what!? I don’t know how to feel. I like this version of the Joker but that in no way makes me not want to perform intimate torture on the main world’s Joker and see him die a cruel, painful death. I still want that very much. Can’t wait until the next issue, happily we only have to wait about two weeks I think. I so here for it.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: Fatal Attraction

Many movies have fallen victim to the evil that is the focus group ending, where an otherwise great film gets hobbled with a jarring, stupid ending that just doesn’t suit the film. The most well known examples are probably Blade Runner and The Little Shop of Horrors, which got saccharine endings that totally missed the point of the films they were part of, because some people think that giving unsatisfying-in-the-long-term instant gratification is more important than leaving the audience with something to think about. Obviously there are plenty examples wheee changing the ending ended up improving things, but when focus group endings work you don’t notice because, you know, they fit. 

One of the absolute worst focus group endings ever, though, is for Fatal Attraction. This ending isn’t just bad, it actively undermines the rest of the film in favor of jarring catharsis that feels like it’s from an entirely different film. It is THAT out of place.

It’s a shame about the ending too, because the film until the last few minutes is fantastic. The whole thing runs the idea of “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” to its logical conclusion, with a weekend affair turning into a nightmare for Michael Douglas’ character. The movie is actually pretty good at keeping sympathy with Douglas despite the fact he, you know, cheated on his wife. He’s shown to be a good husband and father otherwise, he clearly regrets what he did, and he is quick to admit what he did when his family starts getting threatened. He’s not a good or innocent man, sure, but it’s really hard to make someone played by Michael Douglas totally unlikable; he’s too good at emotional complexity for that.

Still, the real MVP here is Glenn Close as Alex Forrest. Alex is one of cinema’s greatest villains, mainly because she is so chillingly real;  I’ve known people just like her, mentally ill people so desperate for a connection they get driven to dangerous lengths to get what they want, albeit thankfully I’ve never met anyone who goes as far as Alex. Thanks to Close’s fantastic portrayal, Alex manages to stay quite sympathetic herself for a good while; you are completely understanding of her desire to not be ignored, even if it is also true she shouldn’t have expected a married man to stop his whole life over a weekend fling. The way she loses sympathy is incredibly gradual, with her more unhinged nature slowly turning the audience until she finally crosses the moral event horizon by boiling the pet bunny of Douglas’ daughter and then kidnapping said daughter from school. She is so horrifyingly real and terrifying in a grounded way, all compounded by Close’s stellar performance…

...and then the finale throws out all subtlety and nuance and turns Alex into a fucking generic slasher villain. In the original ending, Alex takes her mental instability to its natural conclusion: she slits her own throat and frames Douglas for the act. The movie ends with Douglas’ wife finding the tapes Alex left behind, providing Douglas with the proof he needs to be freed and then showing the chilling, tragic end Alex suffered with a shot of her slitting her throat before a fade to black. It’s dark, depressing, and psychologically accurate… but who needs that shit? Let’s turn Alex into Jason Voorhees, have her somehow break into Douglas’ house to attack his wife like a loony before being drowned by Douglas and then, SOMEHOW, coming back to life for a cliche killer jump scare before being shot by the wife. You almost expect her to end it off with a stupid one liner, like “Looks like she’s all washed up” or maybe “Guess she couldn’t see the Forrest through the trees.” It’s so fucking bad and tonally divorced from the rest of the film that it honestly drags things down a bit.

It’s a real shame too, because the rest of the film is incredible and if not for that terrible ending this movie would hold up remarkably well. As it stands, this is a flawed yet still fantastic film if watching a version that uses the theatrical ending, If you can see a version with the original ending, it’s a fantastic film, period. Frankly I refuse to acknowledge the theatrical ending as canon, so I have no problem recommending this as one of the finest psychological thrillers of the 80s, but still, avoid the theatrical ending at all costs. If you’re interested in complex female villains or just love these sort of psychological thriller films, I can’t recommend this one enough... but again, and I can’t stress this enough, find that cut ending, even if you have to switch the main movie off right after Douglas leaves Forrest’s apartment and go to the deleted scenes menu. The movie is just way more fulfilling, thematically and dramatically, when it ends with Alex committing suicide.

Fuck test audiences for this one, honestly. Glen Close has said she feels that Alex was more volatile and suicidal than an outright psycho, to the point where she refused to do reshoots for the ending for weeks, and the director did not want to change it either. When you have a story that’s already this dark and depressing, ending it like a bland cookie cutter slasher film does nothing good for anyone. 

[lucyreviewcy]

Hobbs and Shaw (2019) Dir. David Leitch

Let me begin by saying that I am incredibly biased in favour of this movie because it was apparently made just for me. Personally. I have never seen a movie more obviously tailored to my tastes, so don't expect me to treat it fairly when someone clearly spent a long time monitoring my Facebook page to figure out how to make the perfect movie for me. Honestly when I rewatched the trailer before viewing, I legit teared up. And people say there’s no benefits to owning a Huawei phone.

Also, just an FYI, it was directed by one of the co-directors of John Wick and that’s why the fight sequences are brilliant but it still makes sense. 

It could be very easy for this film to be a total hot mess. It is also very easy to engage with this film with an ironic eye-roll and be like “I mean it’s stupid but I guess that at least it knows that.” Please don’t do the latter. This is a big budget action flick, if you’re embarrassed to watch a big budget action flick then… why? These movies are fun, and while the storylines and action sequences might be preposterous, they’re consistent with the world of the movie and the franchise in general. 

It’s established pretty early on in the franchise that if you can drive a car you’re essentially an invincible wizard. Learn that truth, remember it, and the films will make sense. This is a series of movies that is 80% redemption arcs, with villains turning into heroes all over the shot, and the occasional storyline retcon to bring back a dead hero that was a fan favourite. These movies have been being made for almost two decades, so they’re not without fault (they’re actually quite useful as a chronicle of shifting social values over the last 19 years. Compare Vanessa Kirby’s character Hattie in Hobbs and Shaw to Mia in The Fast and Furious for just one example of the progress that’s been made within this franchise.) These movies are imperfect: all I ask is that people don’t act surprised that they enjoyed a movie that’s mostly enormous men solving crimes and kicking ass, because guess what: millenia of culture have taught us that HUMANS ENJOY THIS STUFF. 

It took four films for the Fast and Furious franchise to really nail its format, and this is a whole new ungainly arm for the brand to try and control. However, the film begins with clear, concise exposition of the stakes, the villain and the characters involved. Vanessa Kirby as the fantastically ruthless Hattie, an MI6 agent, injects herself with a supervirus in order to keep it out of the hands of big bad nasty organisation Etheon. Etheon then try and catch her. Meanwhile, security services from the US and UK team up to catch Hattie who is being framed for the deaths of her team. As a result, Hobbs and Shaw must work together. Oh and they’re also being pursued by half-robot super soldier Idris Elba, who wins all the prizes for living up to the most surprisingly evil character name: Brixton Lore. Why does that combination of words even sound evil? It should just mean “the myths surrounding an area of South London…” My friend lives in Brixton and I don’t know if there’s any kind of special Lore there, are there Brixton kelpies that come out after dark and help you avoid puddles of vomit on your walk home? I’ve gotten sidetracked… 

A movie with Dwayne The Rock Johnson is now pretty much officially a movie that makes bank. Skyscraper (a.k.a. Big Die Hard) was an absolute corker. Pairing Johnson with Statham, star of The Meg (a.k.a. Big Jaws) can only mean one thing: this movie is going to be BIG. It doesn’t disappoint on that front. The team travel the globe at an impressive pace, each big fight is set against an exciting new location, ending with an elegant showcase of Samoa. I don’t know how Samoan people feel about the way their country is represented in this movie, but if it’s anything like how I feel about the way they’ve represented London then it’ll be “Huh, sure is less traffic in their version of Samoa.” 

As we travel with our enormous be-muscled pals, we’re given the chance to get to know Vanessa Kirby better.

Reader, I loved her.

As I’ve already mentioned, I like to think that the Fast and Furious films are a really good chronicle of how far Hollywood has actually come with things like gender representation. And while there’s a slightly awkward forced love story in this movie involving Hattie, and she’s definitely about 17 years too young to have been a child at the same time as Jason Statham (FYI he was doing this when she was literally two years old), but in movies you suspend your disbelief. My disbelief duly dangling from the ceiling, I loved the way that Kirby’s character was put together. It is her choice, at the start of the movie, to inject herself with the virus and risk her life to save humanity, that drives this entire plot. She gets Hobbs and Shaw out of multiple sticky situations. She’s rude, she’s deadly, she’s a lot more than you would have expected a female character in this kind of movie to be even as recently as 2009. We also see no more of her flesh than we do Statham or Johnson’s: WHAT A TREAT. 

There are of course the obligatory random shots of ladies’ butts at a party but anyone who is a fan of the franchise knows that unfortunately this is a trope of the genre, I hope they grow out of it one day. 

This movie, for me, has everything: car chases, big fights, mad stunts, a bit with a recognisable brand name from my country that made everyone in the audience go “Huh, yeah, Greggs.” The storyline is clear and concise, the characters explain what is going on regularly enough that you don’t lose track (this is why I love a 12a, they keep reminding the kids what’s going on between all the explosions and jokes they don’t quite get). 

TO SUM UP: I enjoyed this movie so much, but that was a given. I didn’t expect to love Vanessa Kirby as much as I now do, and the cameos that I will not spoil literally made me so excited I made squeal noises. 

[seriouslycromulent]

Hobbs & Shaw review (Yeah, this is going to be long)

The Preamble (feel free to skip)

I was on the fence about going to see the new Fast & Furious spinoff, Hobbs & Shaw. Why? Because I’m a legit fan of the F&F franchise, and I was none too happy about the fact that Vin Diesel invited Dwayne to be a part of the franchise as they were friends at the time, but Dwayne’s fans -- mostly denizens of The Rock who think he can do no wrong -- preceded to treat Vin like he was second fiddle to Dwayne ever since Fast Five. Dwayne, then over the course of 3 films, preceded to get the big(ger) head and show his ass on the set of the last film, and usurped Vin’s franchise right out from under him. 

What pissed me off more than that was the fact that after Dwayne and Vin got into it, the public not knowing any details or verification on what specifically happened on the set, decided to automatically take Dwayne’s side because ... “Hey! He’s the Rock and we like it when he plays characters that are only a slight variation on his persona when he wrestled full time in the WWE.”  There was no concern for right or wrong. No desire to ask both of these Alpha males to put their egos aside. No inclination to actually wait and learn about what really went down. No, the general public has since decided to brand Vin Diesel a joke with no acting skill or talent to speak of. 

Gone was Vin’s reputation as a scriptwriter, a producer and as a man who helped reinvent this franchise to turn it into something beyond simple street racing and a small found family making it happen in a hostile world. Honest Movie Trailers mocked Vin for taking the franchise seriously and actually putting time, love and effort into making sure each film had heart, not just great action scenes that defy the laws of physics and common sense. 

Dwayne has become a better actor than he was 15 years ago. I can name about 4 or 5 movies where his performance is pretty good. But Vin was always a good actor. Not great. But definitely stronger than he was given credit for once people started associating him with nothing but action films. On top of that, he was a writer and he knew how to create an environment that people of disparate personalities loved working together and being a part of the franchise. 

Flash forward to Hobbs & Shaw. There are no members of any of the F&F’s previous films in this movie. Tyrese called out Dwayne on social media for being selfish and greedy, because all of the other cast members were offered spinoffs too. But they turned them down because they wanted to work as a team. That’s how much the franchise means to them. Dwayne clearly had no sense of that loyalty, and obviously his biggest fans don’t have any expectations of him to have any either.

I’m still a fan of Dwayne Johnson, but not as much as I used to be, say 6 or 7 years ago. I still think he’s an immensely generous person when it comes to his fans, and he is a hell of an entertainer. But this situation involving Hobbs & Shaw, combined with some of his comments and behavior regarding sociopolitical events taking place in America over the last 5 years have reminded me that he is not without flaws, and should not be regarded as if he is above impunity. 

So Then What Happened?

Despite my misgivings about how the Hobbs & Shaw spinoff came about, I finally decided to go see it at the last minute for a few reasons:

I’ve had a particularly hard week and I needed to do something to blow off some steam.

I’m a huge fan of Jason Statham. I mean huge. I’m an action film fan in general, but Jason is one of my favorites in the genre. And it takes a lot of negatives to make me not go see one of his films. 

I adore Helen Mirren. Even if I knew her part would be small, I also knew I would love seeing her play off of Jason again. Their scene together in Fate of the Furious/Furious 8 was the highlight of the film for me (followed by the brief return of Luke Evans). 

I like Idris Elba. And he’s proven that whether playing a good guy or bad guy, he goes all in. Plus, I like him best as a bad guy.

I like Roman Reigns, and I wanted to be supportive of his first time on the silver screen.

So there it is. I’m a woman of integrity, but apparently, my integrity fades at the thought of actors I like getting to share a screen together. Feel free to judge me.

Now ... to the review

Hobbs & Shaw is exactly what you expect it to be. It doesn’t feel like it’s a part of the Fast & Furious franchise at all, but maybe that’s intentional. I think at the end of the day, audiences expect a F&F film to involve a cohesive, diverse team and something happening that changes your perspective about what you thought was going to happen. At least that’s been the franchise's m.o. since the fourth movie. 

But Hobbs & Shaw keeps a lot of the other elements of the F&F franchise alive. Namely, a solid mix of comedy and action, at least one woman who makes you feel both inspired and afraid, and just a lot of action sequences that test the suspension of disbelief. Oh yeah, and at least one kickass car chase. And that’s exactly what we get, plus a little more.

Here’s what I think worked, what didn’t, and what I loved (Warning: spoilers below):

What Worked For Me

Hobbs & Shaw is first and foremost an action film, but keeping with the Fast & Furious theme of family, the heart of the film takes us back to the connection and power of family. Unlike the original series, where family was defined as the people you find along the way, Hobbs & Shaw is more about bloodline and reconnecting with estranged family. For Hobbs, his family in Samoa. For Shaw, his relationship with his sister, Hattie, who believed that he had betrayed his country and his brothers- and sisters-in-arms. I’m glad they kept that aspect in, even though I liked the F&F’s original theme a little better.

I don’t know if it’s fair to call them cameos because they have more than one scene in the film, but the addition of Ryan Reynolds and Kevin Hart was a great move. Both are in the film long enough, but not too long. And each are given enough room to deliver what they do best.

The opening sequence showing Hobbs and Shaw starting their day is the perfect introduction to this spinoff. I loved the juxtaposition. If I had to choose a preferred lifestyle, I’d go with Shaw’s routine, but in sunny California.

Ryan Reynolds’ character’s name is Locke. I see what you did there. ;-)

Mama Hobbs throwing her flip flop at Cliff Curtis and hitting him in the face. What is it about brown mamas whipping shoes at their kids? LOL!

What Didn’t Work For Me

Was Brixton’s ambush of the CIA black site (which didn’t look too black to me) and kidnapping Hattie by running down the face of the building really the most efficient plan and escape? He literally picks her up, carries her on his shoulders, and runs down (with harness attached) the face of the building. It just seemed like it provided way too much of an opportunity for Hobbs & Shaw to catch up to him and for them to get her back. I love a great action sequence, but this one really makes the villain look impractical and hella extra.

Soooooooo, when Hattie is hooked up to the device to extract the virus capsules from her blood, the countdown shows it’s going to take 30 minutes. At that time, it’s dark outside and Brixton hasn’t arrived to start the final showdown. Fast forward to Brixton’s men driving up, The Rock doing that slow-mo walk out to meet them with no shirt on (gulp), and the other usos doing the Siva Tau while Brixton’s men realize their guns don’t work. Then the fighting starts. The sun starts to rise, and everyone is kicking ass and taking names. We see Hattie fighting 2 of the bad guys before Shaw shows up to help. At this point, the countdown on the device says she has 21 minutes to go. We’re supposed to believe that everything that just happened between the device starting the extraction, Brixton showing up, the Siva Tau before the fight, and the sun rising high enough for us to see Roman Reigns fighting alongside The Rock only took 9 minutes? ... Yep. Why? F&F Laws of Physics.™

I stayed until the credits finished -- if you do, you’ll see why -- and I was a little disappointed that they used the Hawaiian island of Kaua’i as a stand-in for Samoa. I imagine it might’ve been easier to get permits to shoot in Hawaii, but a part of me feels like it’s a major missed opportunity to not shoot the Samoan scenes in actual Samoa. 

Soooooooo, we’re supposed to believe that Roman Reigns (or any human being) could just land 2 large metal hooks on to the front joint axles of a truck speeding along in a life-threatening pace while he’s standing on the back of another truck racing ahead of it in one easy throw? ... Yep. Why? F&F Laws of Probability.™

Sure, Deckard Shaw was framed when he didn’t join Etion’s cabal of world domination, but again, he still killed Han. And at no point do we see him held accountable for that in Furious 8 or in this film. And there’s no allusion of him doing anything to atone for it in between the films. I adore Statham, but in the end, Deckard is still not a good guy in this franchise until he says or does something to address that terrible act other than “You guys put my brother in the hospital clinging for his life after some psycho made him do terrible things that killed a lot of people.” This detail still doesn’t sit well with me.

Soooooooo, we’re supposed to believe that the key to defeating this super soldier Brixton is by having Shaw and Hobbs work together. But didn’t the MI-6 officers that Brixton takes down in the beginning of the film work together? Were their team as petty as Hobbs & Shaw and failed to work together like a cohesive unit when fighting an enemy on a mission? I highly doubt that. The concept at the end is lovely and signifies growth in our leads’ relationship with one another, but it doesn’t quite hold mustard if you consider that the other teams of people Brixton’s battled throughout the film are plenty cohesive and get killed quickly.

I kind of wish The Usos (Jimmy and Jey) were in this film too. :-( That would have made it even more special given Dwayne used to work with their dad, Junior (aka Rikishi), in the WWE at the same time.

Sooooooooo, we’re supposed to believe Hobbs -- a non-genetically enhanced man -- can grab a huge chain with his bare hands that is connected to a helicopter and pull it close enough to wrap it back around a pulley system and keep that helicopter steady? ... Yep. Why? F&F Laws of Human Anatomy.™

What I Loved 

All things Helen Mirren. Seriously, I would watch a movie just about the Shaw family. The mum, the sister, the brother and Deckard. This film didn’t have enough Helen Mirren, but every scene she was in was a delight.

That little wink and nod to the audience when Shaw, while walking Hobbs and Hattie through his hidden lair, makes a reference to driving a Mini Cooper for “a little job he did in Italy.” I see what you did there. ;-)

Any scene with Jason Statham behind the wheel tearing up the streets of a city in the most impossible manner will always be gold. Always. Be. Gold. And that slide underneath the 2 semis by the car, and later, by the motorcycle, made my stomach clench so hard I think I might’ve pulled something.

Anytime Locke refers to his relationship with Hobbs as being close friends or family. Ryan Reynolds is absurd. Never change.

The entire conversation between Shaw and Hobbs on the plane. All of it. All. Of. It. It’s the funniest scene in the entire film. And a great callback to the display of chemistry they had together in Furious 8. 

Using a society’s history, where they did a helluva lot of damage without high tech weapons, to take on an enemy with high tech weapons, who without those weapons, couldn’t hold their own quite as easily, was a beautiful moment and ... great social commentary on the history of colonialism. (::cough::)

Cliff Curtis. He so rarely gets to play a character of Pacifika descent in American films. I’m happy this movie gave him a chance to do so.

Even though this is a part of their conversation on the plane which I already mentioned was awesome, I loved it when Hobbs reminds Shaw that this is not 1955, and he needs to relax about the idea of Hobbs making a play for Shaw’s sister. If she wants to climb that mountain, he’s going to let her climb it. LOL! It’s her decision, not her brother’s.

Roman Reigns getting to spear someone! Even though the camera cuts off the full beauty of it by switching to another angle 2/3 of the way through. I don’t care what anyone says, Joe Anoa’i’s spear is a work of art. (::phrasing::)

Hattie escaping from the virus extraction room’s chair and taking down her guards without any help made me want to stand up and cheer. You go, mama!

OK. That’s all I can think of for now. But given how long this post is, I’m sure anyone still reading at this point would say that’s more than enough.

With that in mind, if you haven’t seen Hobbs & Shaw yet, or you did, but you left before the credits finished, I wanted to let you know that there are 3 -- yes, count ‘em 3 -- scenes in the credits. 

The first is a scene with Ryan Reynolds, the second is one with Shaw & Hobbs, and the third, which comes at the very end, is another scene with Ryan Reynolds.

Enjoy!

[calliecat93]

Red vs Blue Season 17 Review, Part One

On March 9th, 2019, Red vs Blue: Singularity premiered at last. After the monster cliffhanger of S16, to say that many of us had been anxious would be an understatement. Well, it’s several months later and the season has concluded it’s 12 episode run. So, was it good? Was it bad? Well… that’s a hard question to answer. But however we feel, we’re going to be going over it today in my Season 17 Review~!

This baby got a Hell of a lot longer than intended, so hopefully, it’s coherent. I tried to be firm, but honest. No matter what I think though, there is no arguing that these people put in a lot of work to make this season a reality. I never want that fact to be ignored. So thank you Jason, Miles, Josh, Austin, Greg, Joe, RT Animation, and everyone else for all the hard work. Couldn’t have been easy, but we appreciate it all the same~!

So with that said, for the final time, let us talk about Red vs Blue Season 17.

Visuals/Machinima

This season was unique in that not only was Halo 5 still being us, but they had to go back and use all the past renditions as well. It looked like they were going to use Halo 2 Anniversary for the paradox stuff, a familiar yet different design, but I guess someone decided it was better to just reuse the older games. Which I think was probably the right choice. Halo 2 Anniversary I think would have helped add this feeling of everything being off, but at the same time seeing the previous versions helps connect to the moments more. It adds more emotional investment since we’re seeing something that we recognize being fucked with. It meant more work for the Machinima team, and I hope that they’re all still alive and had a nice vacation after it was all over cause yikes. Their efforts are greatly appreciated~

The machinima was overall very good. Josh Ornelas has been with the show for six years as a machinimator and directed at least a few episodes of S14. So he was more than fit to be a co-director for this season. Austin Clark is newer and IDK when he started (my guess is around 14 or 15), but I think he’s shown that he’s perfectly capable both as a machinimator and as a director. I never noticed any issues with the machinima that threw me off… but as usual, it’s hard to critique what are essentially video game movements/defaults. Very least whenever the characters were emotional or something, I got the feeling from how the scene was framed. Even though you can’t see the faces, the machinimators know how to frame it to make you feel the intended emotion. Episode 9 with Carolina and Wash’s talk I think demonstrated that. Yeah, the VA-ing helped, but you can see the emotion, even though there’s no emotion to display. And while Austin handled the even-numbered episodes and Josh the odd ones, everything felt like they were on the same page, which is essential when co-directing. They both did an excellent job directing.

Animation was sadly sparse compared to the last season. Wasn’t bad though. There were some good bits, like the opening credits and Wash directing his gun at Genkins in Episode 3. Oh. and Genkins getting stabbed with his own golf club was pretty gruesome, especially with his writhing around, but seeing the original Halo animated was nice. We only got one fight scene, but it was Carolina vs Carolina and it was badass. Not as creative as the Donut vs O’Malley fight, but still really good and impactful. Loved it!. The sets and effects were all very good. Just look at the opening. The effects used for The Everwhen looked really cool and other-worldly. The Labyrinth looked pretty creepy, as it should be considering its true nature. And of course, all the previous Halo’s still looked good… maybe a little dated with Halo: CE but still as good as it did in the remaster.

Overall, visually speaking, the season was really good. The machinima looked great and was directed competently. I felt engaged, and that’s what’s important. Definitely one of the season high points.

Voice Acting/Music

We’re mainly going to be discussing Dan Godwin, Shannon McCormick, Jen Brown, Ricco Fajardo, and Lee Eddy. Everyone else in the main cast was pretty much at the expected level of quality. There’s sadly not much to talk about specifically, which we’ll go more into during the character section. But Joel, Matt, Gus, Geoff, Becca, and Jason Saldana all did well and gave the quality that I expect from them, just nothing that stands out really. I’ll say this, Geoff and Becca’s performance in the finale was very strong and emotional and I loved it. Matt he both got to do Wyoming again and had to do Doc and O’Malley at the same time, which he nailed perfectly. And hearing Burnie as Church again was really nice… but never let him do English Lopez again. Ever.

Let's talk about villains first. Ricco Fajardo as Genkins is freakin’ fantastic. While we got glimpses of it last season, Genkins fun but truly shitty self is on full display this season. And Ricco is clearly having the time of his life recording it. He’s just always so cheerful and having fun, but it feels so messed up and sadistic due to the circumstances. But he owns it. Sometimes having a villain who is just shitty can be fun, especially if you have a competent actor doing it. And Ricco absolutely nailed it. We also have Lee Eddy, who voiced 479er, make her return to RvB as Chrovos. She too is clearly having a fun time. She goes full-on Large Ham with Chrovos’ theatrics and basting but also portrays her getting fed up very well. It’s the Gwen in her showing, haha. But yeah, these are two fun villain characters, and the performances very much reflected that. Loved it~

Next, we have our Freelancers, Shannon and Jen. They both got the emotions hard this season. Which considering how their plot ended last season, is no surprise. It’s no shock that these two did very well, but… man… Jen had to express a lot of guilt, but also a lot of tears and pain. Which she did very well. Carolina feels terrible and has to accept that her efforts were in vain, and Jen conveyed that very well. The second that Carolina breaks down in Episode 9… God, I just wanted to hug her. Then there’s Episode 11 where Carolina is confronting her past self, and it truly does feel like two different characters, even though it’s the same actress. It was a very strong performance this season, arguably her best one yet.

Then we have Shannon. Oh golly, Shannon. How long has he been doing Wash now? Over a decade, right? He knows this character in and out… and he perfectly shows that this season. Wash has a lot to get through this season. His anger at Carolina, him having to accept what happened, accept what has to happen, it’s a lot. Shannon nails it. From going back and forth between normal and crazy in Episode 3 to any time his anger at Carolina showed, to his talk with Carolina in Episode 5, his acceptance of his fate and prepping for it in Episode 9, and his horror to seeing everyone die in 11. And he still got lighter moments, like his interactions with Donut, which were super enjoyable. Shannon just knocked it out of the park this season, and I loved it.

But of course, the one I have to give the biggest kudos to is Dan Godwin. While he has performed Donut since the very beginning… well, he only got to do so much since Donut only got to do so much. He never did a bad job, or he was on par with everyone else, but he simply wasn’t really allowed to go beyond ‘optimistic, innuendo-spouting moron’. That is, until now. Dan got to do so much this season. He got a full range to do with Donut that he really never got, or only got so briefly. He got to be emotional, he got to be angry, he got to be frustrated, he got to be utterly done with absolutely everything. And he conveyed all of that very well. Heck, I think the pitch even lowered a little bit compared to before, or it felt less squeaky as the season went on. It feels more like an in-between of Blood Gulch Donut and pre-Paradox Donut, which I think works. Overall, Dan got to show how much experience with the character he really has after so many years of not getting to, and he was by far the best performer due to it.

Everyone in the cast did great. Even for brief returns like Miles and Gray with the Mercs, Arryn Zech with Dr. Grey, and the Freelancers all did a great job. Jason Weight as Grif’s coach was also simultaneously hilarious and scary. He clearly put his all into it, anyways. As for the music… what? Ae we surprised that it was good? David Levy and Trocadero again delivered a solid soundtrack. The fact that we have to wait for both this soundtrack and still for the S16 soundtrack continues to upset me. But at least it means a lot of quality tracks whenever they do come out. Solid job overall from the music team.

Characters

So one of the problems with these reviews is I have to remember to look at things two ways: as a fan and as a critic. We had a lot of really good character stuff with some characters… and not so much with others. And looking at it as a fan and then as a critic causes two widely different perspectives regarding this section. Normally I’d rather get the negative out of the way, but to explain the negative I have to talk about the positives first. Hopefully, I don’t come off as too harsh, but I want to be honest in this review as well. So.. here we go.

Okay, happy first. The two main focuses of this season are Donut and Wash. Let's do Wash, and in turn Carolina, first. Wash… well, got put to the side last season for the most part. His plot was mainly focused on his brain damage that he didn’t know about and ended with his blow up at Carolina. Which we all know what that leads to. Here, Wash has to deal with the fallout of it. He gets to stabilize and be back to pre-brain damage and is determined to save the others… but his anger at Carolina is lingering. His arc this season is about him forgiving Carolina, helping Donut, and accepting his own fate. I think, overall, Wash had a very good arc. And this is coming from someone who is not that big of a Wash fan.

Wash’s anger at Carolina is understandable, but he realizes that she did it out of concern for him and never meant to hurt him, and especially after talking to her in Episode 5 and how even when paradox’d she still trusts him, he forgives her. Carolina, in turn, has to deal with the immense guilt of her actions… again. Yeah, the fact that we got another ‘Carolina is guilty’ story after Freelancer, S13, and S15, it’s feeling a little repetitive. But her emotions regarding it were very well written. You do really feel the remorse and understand why she did what she did. It makes it even worse when in Episode 9, Wash accepts what has to happen and Carolina has to accept it. It was one of the toughest scenes in the season but was such a beautiful, poignant moment for both. They still have problems, like Wash fears of losing everyone and Carolina has past issues lingering still over Freelancer and her family. But it’s safe to say that they’ve both become closer and stronger.

The biggest character of this season is, of course, Donut. This was a long time coming. Up until the end of the last season, Donut was probably the most underutilized character in the show aside from maybe Lopez and Doc. He went from a dumb but semi-competent rookie to a flamboyant, one-note joke character. Like after Blood Gulch I can't think of anything significant that he contributed. Recollection more or less wrote him out/killed him off, Chorus did nothing with him, and S15 also did nothing with him and even forgot him in certain scenes. S16 began to fix that, having Donut get annoyed at being ignored, nearly betray everyone, and then get into one of the shows best fight scenes by far. So we were building up for something for this season, and sure enough, it came and it came hard… was that at innuendo? Dang it Donut, you’ve influenced me too much!

This was developed for Donut that was loooong overdue. He further got frustrated with being ignored and belittled by everyone around him. He recognized his innuendo problem and tried to actively improve it. He showed some of that competence he had in Blood Gulch, piecing things together and actively taking charge since he understood things the most. When he told everyone off in Episode 7, it felt so satisfying because of how long he’s been treated like a nuisance when he was at worst a little annoying and TMI. He was willing, tried his best, and it really felt like he was finally allowed to be more than just a joke. It really made me like and appreciate Donut a LOT more than I did before. Like he used to not just be my least favorite Red, but my least favorite of the BGC. Now? He’s right below Grif and Simmons on the Overall Favorites List. Yeah, that’s a LOT of places.

Donut was great and I wouldn't change him getting him this development… but this development did come at a cost. That being development for everyone else. The other Reds and the Blues were shafted and shafted pretty badly. The first half of the season, they are trapped with no memory and go about how they would in that time period. Which okay, it’s necessary for the plot so we can overlook that one. They get restored in Episode 6… and they are STILL badly shafted. They are all joke characters, which does NOT work when we’re this deep in the plot. I mean we get some moments, like Tucker reliving his failure on Crash Site  Bravo and recognizing his fault over the past few seasons, Sarge has his scenario in Episode 11 that I thought was very insightful, but those are small moments. Sadly, Donut got too much attention. Even with Wash, him realizing how he was the Donut of Freelancer was more or less contributing to making Donut look good, as did Tucker’s moment. I like those scenes and I love Donut… but not everything had to be about him. He’s the main character, not the only one.

Let's do the Blues first. As I said, there were more or less just there and had no real major character development or effect on the plot. But that being said, they were given some legit good stuff. Tucker got it the best as he re-lived Crash Site Bravo and finally realized true leadership was. It was about stepping up when no one else would and when things were at their bleakest, not being the cool, macho guy like he kept acting like it was. Which after these past two seasons, was nice to see. I was one of the people who were perfectly fine with how Tucker was written the past two seasons because I could see why he had regressed. But I do know that a lot of people didn’t like it, and this feels like a good way to bring it all around. Have Tucker relive his worst moment, this time having to let it go through, and therefore truly remember what caused him to step up on Chorus: because he had to. It’s short, but it does its job and this along with his Labyrinth vision I think has really helped Tucker’s character immensely.

Caboose is overall pretty minor but had some good scenes like beating the shit out of Genkins in Episode 6 and figuring out how time travel worked before the others. It helps show that he’s an idiot, but he’s a smart idiot (if that makes any sense) and was a step up from his limited screentime last season. He also had my favorite line in the entire season (“These graphics look horrible!”). Sister was overall minor, but I’ll go into her later. You’ll see why when I get there. Doc was overall also minor and how the Hell he was in the Everwhen I’ll never know, but I do like him in the finale and finally getting a grip on O’Malley. He more or less is a combo of the two now and seems much more capable due to it, so that’s good. So yeah, while it may not have been a lot, the Blues and Doc were at least given something, which is better than nothing at all.

The Reds though… so you know how these past two seasons started giving them more development? You would think that since Donut is the main character, that would continue, right? Haha… nope! They went right back to ‘the comedy relief team who do absolutely nothing!’! Which after the past two seasons started to do more with them… yeah, this felt like a slap in the face. Sarge annoyed me this season. Mainly in Episode 7 where he was a hypocritical asshole about Donut’s betrayal, ignoring how he not that long ago betrayed everyone and was still feeling guilty about it. He was also the one primarily being a jerk to Donut, which did not do him any favors. I know it’s Sarge and he’s an asshole, so it’s not 100% unexpected… but I felt like it was pushed too much just to contribute to the ‘Donut is so unappreciated!’ arc. His speech in Episode 6 was hilarious though and I did like his Labyrinth vision showing that he can't handle both civilian or army life. It was surprisingly insightful in a way that I’m not used to with Sarge. So yeah, I feel his screentime was on par with Sister and Caboose at least.

Simmons… got nothing. Absolutely nothing. I mean the running gag where he kept seeing Donut shot was really funny, and it also meant he wasn't an asshole like Sarge. Heck, he seemed to be the only one willing to hear Donut out about saving them in Episode 7. And he did more or less point out how they could launch the gold club through the portal to stop Genkind from reigniting the paradox, which was minor but nice to see for him. Him not being a kissass anymore is also sticking, which seeing him back when he was pettier in Episode 2 did make me appreciate where he is now. The way that he was legit concerned for Donut during the ‘Wash shoots Donut’ gag also helps make it look like he at least cared about him in contrast to Sarge’s jackassery. But he was otherwise just there. Very least, it also means he was the only Red that I didn’t get frustrated about since his character remained consistent… until the finale with the utter bullshit that was his nightmare. Seriously guys, what the fuck?!

But at least with Sarge and Simmons, they weren’t exactly in the spotlight last season, so I don’t feel like I got cheated with them. I cannot say the same about Grif, however. Which we will cover that, as well as the Story section, in Part Two.

(Part Two)

[thisiscomics]

The cape!

This is an amazing Breyfogle cape, creeping its way around a door frame and across the wall, while its wearer hasn’t even reached the door. I genuinely love what he did with that cape throughout his Bat-career (Detective Comics, Batman and Shadow of the Bat all benefited from his art, along with some other projects, such as Holy Terror and Birth of the Demon), along with some of the other artistic flourishes he added to make the likes of Mr Zsasz, Cornelius Stirk and The Demon extra unsettling. The fact that I can remember he worked on these characters without needing to Google it seems a reasonable indication of how they have stuck with me since first reading of them in those UK reprints (for Stirk and Etrigan at least. Zsasz was in Shadow of the Bat, which I think was too late for the reprint series I read. I’m not sure if there were later reprints, as by that time I had found out where to get the latest US issues, and definitely read The Last Arkham in its DC form).

Another interesting aspect of this issue is the injection of politics, which is very much a characteristic of the two Scottish writers- while not all their works are explicitly political, the argument that politics in comics is a recent development would not hold up against an analysis of their oeuvre of the past 40 years. From early 2000AD onwards, you will find political and social commentary in their scripts. Diplomatic immunity is used quite differently here to its appearance in the recently collected Batman issues by Jim Starlin- there it was a roadblock to justice, pushing Jason to go beyond the law and- possibly- kill the ‘Diplomat’s Son’, free of any real political commentary. Here, Batman has no time for that and flies to London to hunt down the man responsible for the atrocity in Gotham.

It’s Guy Fawkes night, where Britain remembers the attempted destruction of the Houses of Parliament, and that plan is echoed in the terrorist plot Batman uncovers. The story is perhaps scarily prescient, with its images of suicide bombers targeting a Western institution- while they belong to another generic Middle Eastern country (those used by comics not wanting to directly reference an actual country or regime), they are explicitly Muslim in their theological representation, with clear references to Allah, Jihad and the paradise reserved for martyrs. This somewhat sidesteps the ‘generic country’ approach and makes it clearer than usual what regime ‘Syraq’ may represent.

Wagner and Grant’s writing is not so simplistic as to paint a Muslim nation as a clear villain- while blowing up Parliament is clearly not acceptable whether attempted by English Catholics or Syraqi Jihadists, Batman finds himself doubting his own (Western) righteousness. There is no uncertainty or regret in relation to the deaths of the terrorists, but the issue concludes on a very downbeat note:

I couldn’t forget Hassan’s words: ‘Your country-- it does not murder? It does not bomb women and children? It does not prop up a dozen tyrants who brutalize and persecute their peoples?’

Fanatic he may have been, but it seemed so clear-cut to him. Could it be true? Could my country-- my America-- be so guilty?

The final words are given to children around a bonfire, as the issue ends with Batman's’ cape and cowl taking the place of a Guy Fawkes dummy and being burned- “Put him on the bonfire and watch him die!”

Unusually for a mainstream superhero book, we are seeing explicit questioning of US foreign policy. There is no sympathy for the murderers, but we are clearly being asked to consider if there is not a motivation for their actions in our own mistakes- a point so often avoided when it comes to Western foreign policy in general- and there is very little that the superhero can do here. What can a Batman do to prevent killers in his streets when the actions of governments are making his home a target (just as the religious strife in the UK led to the Gunpowder Plot)? You can’t punch policy, you can’t lock up elected officials in Arkham, so are you left only fighting symptoms with no chance of victory?

It is quite clear these are questions to which a detective can divine no answers- Breyfogle’s final panel of a battered and bleeding Bruce Wayne and a burning cowl is highly charged with a sense of defeat and impotence.

From Detective Comics 590, by John Wagner, Alan Grant, Norm Breyfogle, Adrienne Roy & Todd Klein, reprinted in Batman: The Dark Knight Detective Volume 2