#Which was also me trying to initiate a casual conversation that we did not even end up having

[rosetta-stoned-bitch]

I feel like shit, too many straws on my back and one of them is def gonna break it

[theealbatross]

Sebastian x Reader: i love you, it's ruining my life (One Shot)

Plot | Sebastian has the worst insomnia known to man and you are not dating him. Tags | none, fluff, slytherin!reader, bad english accent attempt by me, repressed feelings, unhealthy attachment, codependency, teenagers trying to process trauma together, mentions of nightmares, they are both 17 years old [A/N : FUCK JK ROWLING!!!!!!! Also I just needed to write something and somehow a depressed Slytherin boy was just the one to cure my insane writer's block. Enjoy!]

I am not dating Sebastian Sallow, is what you kept saying yet no one seems to ever believe you. Even Natty, bless her kind soul, gave you a look so incredulous as the words went out of your mouth that you couldn’t help but be confused yourself -- were you dating Sebastian?

“I’m not trying to be nosy, my friend. I’m just concerned.”

“About what?” This has been the third person this month with that same irritating expression on their face. Pity.

“I thought … you were always together that I just assumed there was … something.”

You blinked, trying not to let your face slip, afraid that your ever observant friend would read too much into each emotion.

“Well, there’s nothing. So you and the others can –”

“There are others?!”

You widened her eyes, telling Natty to drop it and she wisely did. “The rest of you can stop reporting his rendezvous to me. Understood?”

“There you are!”

Merlin, will the cruel gods of fate ever give you a break?

The deep voice from the door cut through half of the conversations in your table as Sebastian jogged towards you. “Morning, pet.”

He casually grabbed your head gently, pressing a kiss on top of it, before settling down by straddling the chair so he was facing you. “Hey Natty, got lost?”

It wasn’t unheard of for students to not stick to the assigned tables on their houses but it was still odd, especially for someone like Natty who much preferred the company of like-minded people. Always said that the quiet and whispers in the Slytherin table made her uneasy.

Natty looked from you, to him, to the arms that was hidden under the table but was no doubt placed on your waist, subtly but insistently pulling you closer. You silently pleaded for her to ignore it which she thankfully did with a sigh.

“Not at all, Sebastian. Just trying to keep our friend company before you undoubtedly steal her away for the day.”

He didn’t even pretend to be offended by the accusation, only chuckling good-heartedly. “You can be welcome to tag along just for today.”

“Wouldn’t want to intrude. And with the trouble the two of you get into I’d be grounded by my mother for the rest of my life.”

The three of them laughed at that. The conversation thankfully flowing easier and away from the initial topic. Once Ominis arrived and Poppy was called over it was like fifth-year again. The initial circle you had formed has always been a source of comfort, no longer having to have your guard up all the time especially as easy conversation flowed between each other.

“I got some new books for you, just got delivered an hour ago. We should read it tonight.”

You fed him a piece of bread in your hands, knowing that his growing appetite has not been satiated by the plate he made for himself but he would be too lazy to make a new one and would just rather take bits and pieces from your own. “Just for me, huh?”

He grabbed a tuft of grapes before feeding you one as well before he demolished the entire thing. You couldn’t help but giggle when he spat out a small branch that managed to sneak into his mouth.

“It’s that new muggle series you love, paid off one of Ominis’ servant to line for it so you wouldn’t have to sneak out of Hogwarts like I know you had planned to tonight.”

You could feel your face heating up at the fact that he knew you too damn well. “You know I don’t like you spending money on me, Sebastian.”

“Well, you’re gonna be reading it to me so technically I’m spending money for me.”

You gave him a look but he quickly evaded it by feeding you another pair of grapes.

Sebastian had been haunted by nightmares after last year’s events. Ones so bad that the nurse feared he would be a bit too dependent on sleeping potions at such a young age. Thankfully, the two of you had found a solution together, after a late night studying in the Undercroft reading your notes aloud hoping it would stick into your head a bit better – you had turned to find your companion snoring away beside you.

At first, the two of you thought it was the history lesson that put him right to slumber so you borrowed tons of history books in the library for him to read before he slept but an enchanted note later and you were dragging your sleepy self and a blanket out of your chambers as you read about the History of Magic in his bed.

It was that night that you had been eternally grateful that he had no other roommate but Ominis. Especially when you found out that Sebastian was apparently a horrible koala when asleep.

“That’s just –”

“What are you two whispering about?”

You actually jumped, pushing Sebastian away as if the soft voice behind them reminded you of how they had actually drifted closer than what was appropriate.

“Arieta,” Sebastian greeted her with a raised brow, seemingly confused why the Ravenclaw was this far off the room not even all that affected that his new girlfriend just caught him being a bit too comfortable with another girl.

“Sebby!” she shrieked prettily, quickly recovering and pulling on his arm. “We have History of Magic together, remember? You know I can’t survive that class without your shoulder to sleep on.”

She can hear Ominis choke on a laugh yet Arieta shot you a look like it was your fault.

“I, uh,” Sebastian turned to your table, now fully aware that everyone was staring at him with various expression on their faces. “Right, let’s go.”

Ever the gentleman, Sebastian was quick to grab the books in Arieta’s arm as she held on to his hand and dragged him towards the doors.

“Arieta, huh, wouldn’t have pegged her as territorial one,” Natty chuckled, you chucked a grape at her. “What? I am only speaking my mind. Might have to watch out for that one or she might just drag poor Sebastian away from –”

Just before she finished her sentence Sebastian came bounding down the path once again stopping just beside you, catching his breath. “Hey, you’re mine tonight, okay? No adventures.”

His wording left so much to be misinterpreted that even Poppy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, damn near resembling those mooncalfs she loves so much.

"I stand corrected," Natty muttered.

“Sebby!” Arieta screamed at the end of the hallway.

Merlin’s beard.

“I’m coming!” He threw her an impatient look before holding on to your chin so you were looking at him and forcing you to nod. “No adventures.”

This time the embarrassment of the absolute mess that was unfolding before your unfinished breakfast have overwhelmed your brain that you could only nod with him.

“No adventures.”

Sebastian smiled, one of those real, bright ones that makes your body malfunction and your heart to stop beating. Pressing one last kiss on the top of your head and managing to wave to your shared friends he was off and gone through the double doors.

The entire table was left in silence and you had hoped they would let this go but Natty couldn’t give you that mercy as she cleared her throat.

“Well, now I got even more questions.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow you just think about him a lot.

You weren’t as daft as the rest of them have probably assumed. You did think there was a lot more than friendship between Sebastian and you. But with all the things that the two of you had been through it was difficult to pinpoint what it exactly was aside from their unusually intense loyalty to each other.

Was it a trauma bond? Was it just their kindred spirits refusing to let the one soul who understood them go? Did everything that they went through, the secrets they keep, the curses they threw to protect each other become the bloody ribbon that held the unhealthy attachment they had to each other? It could be love. But it could be a whole lot more complicated than that.

That’s what they were. They were complicated.

After the nightmare that was your fifth year the two of you had kept to yourselves with Ominis in tow, trying to keep as low as profile as possible and give your poor professors a break. With your newfound infamy as the ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ (blergh) and the dark secret you three were desperately keeping for Sebastian, the best you could hope for was to blend in with the rest of the nameless students in Hogwarts.

That agreement got shot into hell when your dear friend Sebastian Sallow proved to be one of the best beaters in Hogwarts’ long, long history. It was a dare that exploded in your own face to try out and irritate Imelda but when he had accidentally proven to be a bit too good at it their mutual friend clutched at him with her demanding claws and put him through the ringer until he got spat out decent enough to be one of the soldiers to secure the honor of their noble house and win the Quidditch cup this year.

Piled on top of that development was his connection to the Gaunt family, the Hero of Hogwarts, and the rumor of his hefty trust fund waiting for him the moment he turns 18 – Sebastian Sallow, just as the gods intended, became the most eligible bachelor of his age.

And thus your hell begun.

The silent charm he always had with him grew with his stature. He clearly enjoyed the attention after having hid his pretty bloody face behind dangerous books all year last year that it was almost like he was compensating for the hearts he could’ve broken. Every moon it was a different girl looped around his arms and every month it was a different friend reporting to you that your presumed ‘boyfriend’ was found snogging a goddamn Gryffindor in the Three Broomsticks.

It was annoying, confusing, and you were getting sick of it.

“Over here.”

Before you could find the source of the voice you knew all too well, a door had already opened and you were quickly pulled into an empty room – well, room was being generous as it was more of a storage space than anything.

“Sebastian!”

“Shh,” you gawked when his opened palm muffled your voice as he firmly presses it on your mouth. The unmistakable sounds of footsteps and a softer call of his name echoed the hallway outside the door. When the footsteps faded and disappeared, he had the nerve to give you a lopsided grin that turned your face red in irritation. Definitely in irritation.

Nothing quite like being forced to face the boy who had been running around your head all day.

“Sorry bout that, pet,” he chuckled, leaning on the wall an arms-length way from you. “I’m not too good with break-ups, especially when they say no.”

“Must be horrifying,” you sniped shortly, also pressing your back on the nearest wall to give you as much space as possible – it would just be absolutely mortifying to faint because your heart was beating too fast it was like it was trying to escape. “Are you gonna explain why you’ve kidnapped me in this dingy room?”

“Come on now, don’t be short with me. I just wanted to hang out with you ‘s all.”

“You want to hang out with me …. Inside a closet?”

He shrugged, “I never see you anymore these days.”

Ah, the nightmares must be back. She tries to swallow down the bitter taste in her mouth.

“That’s not my fault, Sebastian.”

At least he looked guilty. And absolutely miserable.

In the few weeks you had taken your eyes off him it would seem he had another growth spurt. Do boys just not stop growing ever? Looking up at him was starting to get painful. Plus, all those drills they run to prepare for every game had done nothing but well for his physique. You couldn’t help but run your eyes to his broad chest and shoulders before you caught yourself and nearly screamed in horror.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Rough hands grabbed one of yours. He bent his knees so he could look in your eyes as you now outright refuse to meet his, in anger for the absolute shit friend he had been the past months or in embarrassment that you so casually checked him out you’re not quite sure. “I … I got distracted but I missed you. You know I prefer your company over any other.”

Those damned brown eyes, not even the poor light in the windowless room could dull its effect on you. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Your harsh words did not match with the growing smile on your face you failed to suppress. He mirrored your grin, “Do you still have classes?”

You shook your head.

He damn near vibrated in glee. Merlin, you did miss him.

“Let me steal you away.”

In a flash, Sebastian grabbed a hold of your hand to survey the hall one last time before dragging you out of the room and into the nearest Floo. You barely caught the surprise and anger in his ex-girlfriend’s eyes as she gawked by the stairs before you got swallowed up by a green flash of powder.

“Boathouse.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow because this is definitely not a date.

You wouldn’t think the Boathouse would be a romantic place but with the lack of students, the dimming sun and a gorgeous boy leading you in the inside of it for privacy – you couldn’t help but think that anyone who would pass by would be well within their right to think you had become another notch in Sebastian Sallow’s belt.

You’re not sure how you feel about that. A greater witch would’ve been offended but maybe you’re no better than the knots in his belt.

“Sit here.”

Sebastian spread out a worn-out black robe on the ground, patting on it expectantly. Before you could do it yourself, he was already kneeling beside you and removing your shoes and socks. The intimate act forced you to hold your breath, making sure you controlled your face so your jaw doesn’t fall to the floor as he slowly pulled on your socks, gently plopping them on the edge and letting the Black Lake’s water tickle your feet as they dangled.

When you were settled, he nonchalantly laid his head down on your lap. Gods, help you.

“Comfortable, aren’t you?”

He made a dramatic noise of satisfaction, even wiggling in your lap to show his assent. A giggle slipped out of your mouth at the absolute gall of him, your hands naturally falling in his soft, thick, brown hair to play with it.

“What had you been up to, pet?” he mumbles, eyes never leaving your face although you find yourself unable to do the same as you opted to look around the architecture of the Boathouse you rarely visit.

“Nothing much,” you shrugged. “Although I did find that swimming in the Forbidden Forest’s Lake was surprisingly relaxing.”

He hummed, not even surprised at your little antics when you leave his line of sight. The boy had definitely pulled you out of worse situations than roaming around the Forbidden Forest. “You should take me some time. Merlin knows relaxing is what I need.”

A scoff escaped your mouth as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, right after I duel your newest girlfriend for the honor of getting to take you out.”

He poked your side at that, “As entertaining that would be you know all you have to do is send me an owl and I’d trek up to Maurenweem for you.”

Your face clearly showed you didn't believe him and he frowned. Carefully, you ran a finger in-between his brows where a frown formed to relax it.

At this angle you could see the toll the sleepless nights he must’ve been having had on him. If the bags on his eyes was any indication it must’ve been a few nights now. You ran your hands on his hair earning you a satisfied hum as he dangled his hand on the edge of the ledge to play with the water below.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He popped one eye open but your gentle touch proved too much as he closed it again with an even longer hum. “A few hours last night.”

“You should’ve woken me up.”

He gently shook his head, grabbing your free hand so he can hold it by his stomach.

“I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“Oh please, Sebastian.”

He chuckled at that, gripping on your hand tightly as he let out a heavy breath. “The nightmares … I thought it’s been better. Barely had any a few months ago. But now it’s just gotten worse.”

The confession broke your heart. Sebastian was not a vulnerable person; despite his usually easy and cheerful demeanor he was quick to wall himself in at the first sign of trouble. You would bet galleons of gold he still feels horrible of all the things he put you through and it was truly in desperation when he had called you over to help him through his insomnia. Which was also why you had welcomed the responsibility with open arms.

“Care to tell? Is it still about Anne?”

His estranged twin has been forefront of most of his darkest nightmares but he shook his head again and for that you were thankful he was spared that at least. “Solomon? Ominis?”

He opened his eyes; it was full of overflowing guilt and fear. And when it seemed he could no longer keep it to himself he sighed, “It’s about you. That’s the reason why I couldn’t …”

The revelation had your blood freezing. “What?”

He sat up, now facing you and taking both of your hands. “I’m only telling you this because you are my best friend and to remind you that none of this is ever your fault. You haven’t done a thing wrong, in fact, I can’t think how I would’ve gotten past any of this if it wasn’t for you.”

You held on to his hands tighter. “Sebastian, you’re scaring me.”

He shook his head, pulling you closer as if to comfort. Why was he comforting you when it was him who had been terrorized by this dream version of you. It was irrational to be mad but how could you not be when apparently you had become one of his problems while you were simultaneously desperately trying to fix it.

A palm on your cheeks pulled you out of your self-loathing.

“All of my dreams … it was of the people I love leaving me. Anne never forgiving me for the rest of my life, Ominis turning me in …”

“Oh, Sebastian,” you buried a sob on the crook of his neck, your hand roping around his back so you can rub on his back comfortingly while he lets everything out.

“And … and every time it happens my brain drives itself insane thinking of plans of what I would do if those nightmares came true. That’s the reason why I couldn’t sleep.” You looked up at him through your lashes but never leaving your spot even as he brings your legs out of the water and over his until you were in his lap.

“But then … they turned to you.” His voice dropped so low you almost shivered. “And for the life of me I just couldn’t … see an out of that. If I lost you – If you gave up on me I … I think I’d turn myself in Azkaban myself.”

“Sebastian I would never –”

“I know that,” he whispered. “But I still can’t – I can’t let it go. I can’t let go of these doubts and fear.”

This time he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “That’s why I keep hanging out with all those girls.”

You raised your head in confusion, taking a better look at him.

“I thought if I loved you less, my nightmares would be kinder.”

The breath got caught in your throat. What is he – does he mean –

“But I couldn’t do that either,” He sighed, rubbing a hand on his face, clearly frustrated. “So I’ve decided. I’d rather go insane, let the nightmares do their worst because I am done pretending I don’t love you. I’m done avoiding you, I’m done pretending you aren’t the only light in my life. I’m done. And I love you.”

A fully grown crying Mandrake could drop from the sky and you don’t think you would’ve heard it over your own heart. You could barely comprehend anything but that his grip on your waist was so tight it was almost painful and that his pleading, terrified eyes was in the perfect angle that the late dying sun made it look like it was in a golden fire.

And that Sebastian Sallow … is in love with you. Just as madly as you were with him.

“I’m not forcing you into anything. I needed to let it out. If you want, I fully intend to formally court you until –”

“I love you.” You could no longer bear to put him in such misery. As long as you were alive, he would not question the adoration you’ve felt for him that just kept growing since the first day he had taken you to Hogsmeade. “I love you, Sebastian.”

Just for a moment there was quiet then he burst out laughing. “Thank you, darling." His body visibly shuddered as he sighed in relief, burying his face in your chest. "I’ve already planned to throw myself off the highest cliff in Hogwarts if this had gone south.”

You wrapped your hands around his neck, accepting the gentlest kisses on your neck. “Don’t say that. I plan to be your girlfriend for a very long time.”

His body shook from laughing, this time a kiss under your jaw, “Not that long I hope?”

You frowned, pulling away from him, though his unrelenting hold prevented much space to be in between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” his thumbs rubbed circles on your thigh, now seemingly shy. “If all goes well, I had hoped to be engaged by the time we graduate. You won’t be just my girlfriend then.”

"You bastard," You gawked, laughing at his proclamation. The happiness was overflowing in your chest that you couldn’t help but just squeeze him into you hoping maybe that your souls would fuse with each other.  “You haven’t even kissed me yet and you’re already pre-proposing?”

He licked his lips, his sleepless eyes now full of vigor. “Ah, we gotta fix that, don’t we, pet?”

“We’re dating.”

Natty sighed in relief.

Poppy clapped.

Garreth passed Imelda a silver coin.

"Excuse me," Ominis muttered, standing up. “I'm gonna request a room change to the Headmaster.”

[sharkorok]

heeseung w/ an inexperienced s/o

cw/genre: this is fluff!!! fluff!!, headcanon format, cursing, fboi au, campus au ig…(?), like one dirty joke or whatnot teeheehoohoo, informal writing, that should be it (I think)

requested: X

a/n: this grown man has me so delulu so take this 😋

•-•-•-•

-u are well known for being notoriously bad at expressing affection or being in relationships

-you can’t do casual relationships this man once said “hey baby” and you were like “so I think we should lowk end things cuz why u calling me bby…kinda weird dawg…”

-UR JUST SO AWKWARDDDD ITS EMBARRASSING (I’ll write ur character development soon dw)

-anyways so you go to a party and you see heeseung who is notorious for being the craziest charmer ever like he could see an acorn on the ground and seduce it

-he strikes up conversation with you to see what the fuss is all about, he saw a person once talk about how ur so hot w a cold heart but he immediately realized you’re just awkward skssksksks

-he realizes he literally fell in love with you the second he tried to flirt and you were just …? while laughing awkwardly

-so after a month of you flitting around his charming gestures, looking down shyly or avoiding eye contact when he tries to rizz u up, he gets the courage to just straight up ask, “do you like me?”

-and when you explain that u don’t rlly know and u don’t really get into relationships he’s like OKKK LETS TRY THEN!! because he’s so madly in lov w you cuz ur so cute to him

-ok so boom dating!

-he purposely pushes your buttons to see just how much you can squirm, watching you stammer when he has you pressed against a wall gives him a power trip he didn’t think anyone could be this adorable

-and also u as a person…he’s so in love (dreamily)

-no one understands your relationship like, “how does y/n survive heeseung they can’t even say the word baby without cringing”

-ur not innocent or anything ur just new to affection and stuff so it freaks u out a little!!

-he always asks about boundaries before hand or makes sure you’re comfortable when you two are hanging out. the first time you two were cuddling he would ask every now and then if you were alright

-“you just make me nervous, hee” “don’t be nervous baby, it’s just me.”

-you didn’t realize how nice it felt to be loved within your comfort zone, and how nice it was to have someone hold your hand when it was pushed a little

-he’s gonna tease u tho sorry “loser virgin s/o and popular fboi boyfriend what wattpad story are we coming from”

-defends you to death if anyone criticizes the way you two date, he’s happy with you and if anyone tries to say otherwise he’s all up for arguing with them in a parking lot (￣▽￣)

-he loves you so so much and he dgaf about how slow he has to take it!!

-he takes you on lots of different dates to see what you like and what you don’t like, slowly initiates PDA to see if you’re okay w it or what freaks you out, he’s okay w taking the lead

-got him proud when you explain yourself tho, it means he’s doing a good job as your boyfriend if you’re comfortable explaining your boundaries and understanding them!! (in the least patronizing way possible)

-one time you two were making out and you put your hands on his chest, looking up at him and shaking your head, “I don’t think I want to continue yet.”

-and like a good boyfriend he is he reassured you he dgaf and that you two can just cuddle on the couch for the rest of the night or he could sit five feet away from you and not speak!!! whatever you say he listens bae

-never pushes you for affection, it pisses him off when people say the relationship is one sided, he doesn’t get insecure about whether or not you love him dw

-you say “I love you” every now and again later in your relationship to reassure him just in case tho, which is always super special to him and makes him fly over the moon *bawls eyes out*

-I did not mean for this to be this long ok anyways he’s yours and he knows it and your his and he knows that too <3

[iwoulddieforher]

(told me ur new man don't make u- what?) That's A Damn Shame | Casey Novak × Alex Cabot

Alexandra Cabot, the Homicide Bureau Chief, comes to Casey Novak's office regularly, for idle chatter, for complaining. When she comes in dazed and having apparently just hooked up with her subordinate, she asks Casey for help understanding why the hell she did that- and Casey teaches her exactly how well she understands her. Warnings: Explicit sexual content (fingering, A receiving), extensive discussion around cheating/affairs and compulsive heterosexuality The title is from "ALL MINE", the song, but the song has literally nothing to do with how this fic ended up ?? This was initially supposed to be a lighthearted character study for Alex paired with Casey's sassiness but my beta reader is currently staring blankly at a wall .. Read below or alternatively on ao3, which you can find here

"Hey," Alex muttered, strolling her way into Casey's office without asking, throwing her bag on the floor next to the couch and proceeding to collapse down on it, "Are you working on anything confidential or would otherwise need me out?"

A bemused Casey Novak raised an eyebrow, setting her pen down from where she was sitting down at the desk and raising her eyes to examine the homicide bureau chief flopped gracefully on her couch. "No, not really. Can't catch a break?"

"I had sex with Jim Steele."

"Oh!"

"Why did I do that?" Alex raised her head and squinted in Casey's direction, and Casey realized not only was Alex missing her glasses, but her lipstick was also smudged, her mascara coating a millimeter of skin below her eyes, and her hair was tussled. Had she come directly here from... apparently having sex with her subordinate?

"..Uh," Casey offered blankly, trying vaguely not to conjure the image of a flushed Alexandra Cabot being pounded down by some man she had hardly met, and then doubly hard trying not to envision Alex naked at all from how that thought would stir the anatomy of her abdomen, "You tell me?"

"I'd love to tell you, if I knew." Cabot let herself go limp, chin resting on the wooden armrest of the couch so she could watch Casey pause from what she was doing to stand and come over to sit beside her.

"So... how are we feeling about that?" Casey prompted, slinging one leg over the other and leaning backward, stretching her arms out and letting her spine unfurl, small sounds of her joints cracking from hours of being hunched over a desk satisfying her enough to let out a long, contented sigh.

Casey, by now, was used to Alex showing up in her office. They had become fast friends since Alex had rejoined the pursuit of justice since leaving witness protection, now that Casey had dealt with one man who had threatened her and the other had died in prison. Alex inviting herself inside, occasionally bringing along Chinese as a bribe to persuade Casey into allowing her office be used as a lounge room for the blonde, was not by any means an uncommon occurrence.

Truth be told, Casey didn't even really remember how this whole arrangement had started, just that it would happen at least once a week- Alex would wander in, distract her for an hour or two with snark and humorous conversation, and then proceed to wander her way back out.

At first, Casey had been almost eager yet simultaneously tentative, because, well- the first time they had met they had gotten along so well that the night ended with Casey sprawled open, trying to catch her startled breath as Alex licked her lips and rose casually as if she hadn't just brought Casey to the most intense climax she had ever experienced. But she found that this apparently wasn't what the blonde Chief of Homicide was seeking, only companionship, because Alex never made a move and at some point mentioned a boyfriend, and Casey had shrugged to herself and decided to resign from that idea.

"I just- I don't even know how it happened!" Alex admonished, twisting and wriggling for a moment so she could slide her legs over Casey's lap. She was now effectively lying on her back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with very bewildered blue eyes, her knees elevated slightly as they rested on top of the leg Casey had crossed over the other of her own. Casey patted her raised knee with one hand sympathetically.

"He was- we were arguing, I guess maybe I was being unfair because- well, no, it's my job to get results and that's what I've been fucking trying to do- well, anyway," Alex huffed, her hands waving and gesturing into her air above her as a way for her to emphasize her utter confliction, a sight that only made Casey more amused, "And he insinuated I was fighting with him because Robert and I aren't doing well and then tried to walk away from me! The sheer nerve of this guy! So I grabbed his hand and he literally almost hit me as he waved me off and then-"

Her energetic recounting turned quietly the mild mortification and she covered her face with her hands, eyes squeezing shut as if disgusted, "and then all of a sudden he was kissing me and in literally less than a second he was ripping my cardigan apart- literally, one of the buttons broke, look-"

Casey did look, and yes, one of the buttons on Alex's cardigan was in fact missing.

"And then he pushed me up and on the table and used the hand not on my hips to shove all my papers off my desk and then I was being pushed backward and my cardigan wasn't on at all and he was on top of me and I was taking my glasses off and then he was shirtless? I think I helped him rip his shirt off? He literally ripped it off Casey he broke his undershirt-" a pretend-pained gasp, then, incredulously, "and he didn't even manage to get it all the way off it was just hanging like halfway on like a rag, Jesus. And then he was fumbling with his belt and it sprang out of his pants and-"

"Okay Cabot," Casey cut her off, "Good lord, that's enough detail for me," The younger woman said this hastily, swiping her hand impulsively to bat at the elder woman's face, and Alex groaned again loudly, rolling her head side to side as if trying to shake off the fact that had just happened or at the very least the recollection of it.

"Casey, why the hell did I do that?"

Casey snorted, tossing her head backward to stare at the ceiling alongside her friend who seemed utterly transfixed by it, a defined crease of bafflement between her eyes, as though the painted cream above them would have some profound answer to her question.

A bit selfishly, Casey thought she wouldn't have minded hearing Alex continue in her description, because her fumbling, flushed ramble sounded almost sexy in the frantic tone she was using and Casey really did like hearing Alex talk. Most of the time when Alex came into her office and proceeded to make herself comfortable, this is what they did- tell stories back and forth, exchange troubles and woes they knew only the other would be able to really understand. But if she had let Alex keep talking the next time she was alone and ovulating she knew that detailed recount would nag at her mind and that seemed wildly inappropriate since Alex clearly was not fond of it in hindsight, besides, the sexual memory she wanted to associate with Alex was the one they had shared, not that of Jim Steele with his undershirt half torn open half still clinging on to his frame humping like a dog into her. Alex was too physically glorious for that- Casey didn't want to be distracted by needing to cut his bumbling out of her imagination constantly.

Alex groaned again, loudly, thumping herself against the head with a knuckle and then fully arching her back to stretch out her shoulder and spinal muscles with the discomfort. "I'm about to be engaged, for God's sake, we're planning the fucking engagement party..."

Casey chuffed in the back of her throat, tilting in a way that made her faux blonde hair sway idly. "So, do you not want to be engaged? Did Steele dick do any good for you?"

"No, absolutely not." Alex retorted a bit too hastily, a bit too firmly, but it sounded like she was answering exclusively the first question, ignoring the second.

Casey jotted that down, mentally, to prod at that line of questioning later. Girl gossip, she supposed it was.

"My family would have my head on a platter if I... he hasn't asked me yet but I know he will soon, and I can't say no- Casey, why the fuck did I just do that? Why?"

She emphasized the 'y' in 'why' so long it sounded almost like a sighed whine that made Casey flex her eyebrows, another mildly entertained huff leaving her nose, and she patted Alex's knee again mock-patronizingly.

It was as if her brain was stuck in some sort of a looping track, able to diverge based on Casey's questions for a few moments until sheer bewilderment brought her straight back to a question neither could genuinely answer.

"Well- you said you and Robert were having problems, was this some kind of revenge sex action?"

"No," Alex sighed, "Although... I guess it wouldn't be wrong to say my issues with Stilton are... maybe it did add to it, actually, yeah."

"What kind of issues have you two been experiencing?" Casey sat upright, folding her hands self-importantly in her lap, deciding to play faux therapist, which made Alex roll her eyes and raise one leg to bump her shin against the side of Casey's face playfully- it missed, slightly, hitting the entire side of her body gently, pushing up against Casey's chest and cheek. Pretend outraged, Casey grabbed her leg and forced it back down. "That was not very ladylike, Miss Cabot, how dare you. Answer the question."

She didn't release Alex's leg, though, no, opting instead to smooth delicate little circles with her thumb at the side of Alex's knee, gazing half-focused at the blonde's long, lithe, frankly sexy as hell legs as they lay haphazardly over Casey's own.

Alex liked physical touch, she liked it a lot actually despite being so reserved with giving it, and Casey had grown accustomed to how casually Alex provided her with it- this position as an evident example, Cabot entirely content to lay sprawled over Novak and jest by pretending as though she were going to kick her, and Casey too had begun reciprocating in that right, leaving her hands in small motions on Alex's body in random places.

It could very easily pass for platonic, but Casey wasn't sure if that was the only thing she felt, although Alex apparently did not seem to care either way.

"I..." Alex turned her head, finally awkward, a bit of her composure returning after the initial shock faded and she began actually pondering the answer to her vital question. "It just... doesn't seem like we really know what we're doing, I guess. It's not like we argue. He gets home from work before I do and then I get home from work and he expects me to cook and I don't. I order something, and then I take my portion to eat in the study because I have more work to do with my volunteer associations and he thinks that's pointless and I don't, and then I do the dishes which is just two forks and two knives, and then we go to bed if neither one of us has more work to do, and we sort of just lay next to each other and..."

"Intimacy isn't going well?" Casey hummed, her fingers straying from just her knee, her index and middle being used to create a little man that walked down the length of Alex's tilted shin and then back up it. She liked the fact she could toy with Alex's body like this, that she could just enjoy the feeling of the pads of her fingertips along ridiculously expensive fabric while still listening intently. Truth be told, sometimes Casey didn't especially like making eye contact and needing to seem like she was paying full attention by scrutinizing her own body language- Alex had no such expectations, she trusted Casey was being attentive to her regardless.

"It's just not really happening." Alex muttered, "I mean, we do, at least once a week, but it could hardly be considered being intimate. It's- it feels like we think we're supposed to, at least, but it's so... quick, it feels like he's barely paying any mind to me. I do all the work, I'm on top of him and I try to make it seem like he's in control still, doing my best to be entertaining, and he doesn't really look at me that much. He just squeezes his eyes shut and moans. He doesn't even hold me."

With a jerk of her eyebrows, Alex opened her eyes, a soft scoff leaving her mouth. "That feels almost pathetic to say. I mean, maybe I'm just getting older-? It's not like I have the body I did in my twenties-"

Casey bopped her on the head for that comment with no hesitation, an incredulous chuckle leaving her throat. "Seriously, Alex? You know you're sexy as fuck, you aged like top-shelf wine does. Continue, but without the self-deprecations."

Alex raised a teasing eyebrow, flashing her an affectionate, broad smile, which Casey returned easily, equally as playful. It felt warm in her usually cold office with Alex semi-on-top of her, despite the fact Casey was frequently chiding Alex for her skin being cold to the touch, citing iron deficiency or low blood flow and trying to encourage her to eat more red meat. Perhaps Alex just made Casey feel warm herself.

"Alright, if you say so," Cabot conceded, "but it really feels like he doesn't think he has to be an active participant. And it's not like he's very active in any other aspect of life either outside of his conferences."

"What do you like about him, then? I know ambition is such a turn-on for you."

Alex snorted, but indulged the question, "I really like... this sounds self-centered, but how much he knows about me, I guess?"

"Oh?" Casey tilted her head again, shifting her gaze from her hand running along Alex's shin to the halo of blonde hair splayed out around the elder woman's head as she lay on the couch. Casey's previous comment about the other woman being beautiful was not forgotten about, to her at least, and now that she was indeed thinking about it she allowed herself to indulge in gentle admiring of Alex's features as she spoke.

Alex inhaled to respond, and Casey's eyes traced the delicate curve of her collarbones that stood out so deliciously from her skin, and when she parked her lips to speak Casey's jade eyes flickered to examine that motion, too.

"He notices things. I like that a lot about him. When I came out of protective custody everyone at the galas my family instructed me to attend wanted to talk about what had happened, hear how difficult, that sort of thing. A couple weeks in he struck up a conversation with me, and it was just... different."

Despite being very heinously attracted to her, Casey realized vaguely that she had little issue listening to Alex recount her love story with her soon-to-be fiance to her. She was the one Alex was laying on top of right now, at least, she was the one Alex came to bother at work when the blonde woman could easily be- well, not for this particular conversation, but for their previous ones- on the phone with her man instead. Little moments like this were enough to satiate her. She wouldn't be made upset by some false notion that Alex would for some reason be her's, and regardless, Alex showered her constantly with affection through their casual friendship- Casey never felt like she was or would have to be fighting for anything. It was comfortable.

"He knows my coffee order, and how I take my whiskey," Alex murmured, and Casey's eyes followed the gentle, perked slope of her nose as the blonde sighed softly along with those words.

London Fogs were her guilty pleasure, but she couldn't find many cafes that made them just the way she wanted them to. Otherwise, an Iced Americano was her usual order, or a Red Eye for those nights when work was particularly grueling. Alex took her whiskey with a splash of water if she was drinking something expensive and wanted to really savor the taste- she had said it brought out the flavor- but was also fond of Manhattans in a more casual setting.

Casey knew this, the information surfaced for her easily without contemplation. At some point or other, though source misattribution was certainly at play, Alex had divulged the information to her in some casual conversation and Casey's brain had scribbled it down as important.

Alex blinked, and Casey watched the batting of her eyelashes, the small shifts in the range of dilation of her eyes as Alex continued to stare upward- okay, maybe she was taking this fake therapy session seriously- the small refined details in the corners of her eyes that showed her wisdom, her years of ensuring the streets were that much safer for everyone else. Casey briefly compared the lines that showed tiredness below her eyes with that of the former moments in which she had paid close attention, but decided they weren't particularly worse or better, and she knew Alex struggled with insomnia on occasion normally, so bringing up her sleep schedule was unnecessary.

"What brands I wear," the cardigan Alex currently had on was St. John, but she often wore The Row or staples from Giorgio Armani, "the little things I do when I'm uncomfortable," toying with the third joint of her ring finger with the opposite hand was Alex's most obvious tell, "just.. stuff like that."

"You said he struck up a conversation with you- how did that happen?"

Alex shifted again, moving so she could extend one bent elbow up beside her head, a soft arch and small wriggling movement as she tilted the line of her torso and her hips against each other and then back the other way as she squinted to pull the recollect back together. Casey rolled her eyes with a small chuff- Alex's back must be hurting her from being dicked down on an unforgivable wooden table. If she was sitting up Casey would offer to smooth the coiled tension out of her vertebrae, but it didn't seem like Alex wanted to be upright at the moment, so she just saved the offer mentally to provide to her later.

Besides, Alex with her rear against Casey's thigh, moving slightly, allowed her to feel more of her- not sexually, not romantically, just... just the way Casey enjoyed having Alex near. Her eyes traced a line over Alex's cardigan, imagining the soft pale skin below it that she had been graced with once, admiring it without the need to have it physically before her once again.

In Alex's shifting, she had managed to trap some of the fabric of her top beneath herself, and thus the length of her cardigan in which a button had been ripped away stretched apart to reveal a thin sliver of her body beneath the fabric. Casey extended a hand to poke her gently where the button was intended to be and was rewarded as a muscle in Alex's leg jolted and her abdominal muscles contracted, a snort leaving the elder woman's throat as she swatted at Casey's wrist playfully.

"We had already known each other from high school, technically, although we had never talked much back then."

"Oh, so another acclaimed alumnus from your preparatory school?" Casey chuckled, and Alex flexed her eyebrows and closed to eyes in a nonverbal 'Yes, I know, I know' 'You've already made it clear you think it's hilarious I went to a private school'.

"Okay, Novak, alright, but yes. He just pulled me aside after some of my uncle's friends were scrutinizing what I managed to accomplish in witness protection and asked me if I still preferred the Viennese Waltz over the Cross-Step, and I remembered the only real conversation I had ever had with this guy is during one of the constant mandatory dance seminars. I said no, over the years I had grown more accustomed to the English Waltz, and he smiled this big, easy smile at me and said he did, too. And then he danced with me. It felt natural, like it was something we had done before. It felt right."

"Cute," Casey commented, trying to envision that but for the first time not able to follow because she had no clue about dancing. Her public school had, evidently, definitely not had a mandatory dance seminar, let alone multiple.

"You don't know what those are, do you?" Alex propped herself up on her elbows, then, straightened her neck to flash Casey a teasing look, and Casey rolled her eyes but shook her head.

"No clue, princess."

"I'll teach you sometime."

The idea of Alex swaying her along to some music she wouldn't be able to recognize, the soft, illustrious voice in her ear telling her where to step and when as one firm yet tantalizingly soft palm rested on the crook of her waist while the other encased her hand, was too much to deny. Casey shrugged instead of outright rejecting it, and Alex made a mental note to engage in this activity with her later.

"So, it started well, and then it just fizzled out?" Casey proceeded with the line of conversation, distracting Alex so she could continue fantasizing idly about dancing with her, and Alex took the bait.

"No, I don't think it fizzled out, I think we never really had it to begin with. He's charming, and in the formal events we go to he's so sweet, so affectionate, but it lasts as long as the people around us can see. Don't get me wrong- it's not like he's a bad person, or anything. I just think he doesn't know how to act around me when it's just me, and especially not when I try to let my hair down. It's awkward."

"Well, that's definitely not ideal," Casey said carefully, "One of the things I liked the most about being with Charlie is how at ease he made me. And you're certainly stiff enough as you are, let alone keeping the facade up at home, too."

Curious emotion swirled in the blue of Alex's eyes the same way it always did when Casey mentioned Charlie, which was very, very rarely. Olivia had inadvertently taught the ADA not to relinquish personal information about her life and especially not her sorrows to anyone who may ever grow frustrated by her, lest she wanted what had hurt her most in this life to be thrown back into her face with the intensity of a hailstorm, but Casey supposed she trusted Alex enough not to do that. Conflicted between elaborating on what she meant and then the devil's long tongue lapping at her heart and tainting it with soft panic, Casey swallowed nervously and averted her softening eyes from the blonde's.

Unconsciously Casey pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and sucked at it idly, which she stopped doing only when she felt cold yet comforting fingers encase the side of her face gently.

"I'm always worried you're going to break your skin like that," Alex hummed softly under her breath, and when Casey obediently let her lip free of her self-imposed agitation of it Alex ran her thumb along the length of it, smoothing over the reddened skin so carefully Casey became mildly amused by what she perceived as over-exaggerated concern. Regardless, she didn't mind Alex's hands on her wherever the blonde wanted them to be, and she tilted her head just barely into the feeling of the homicide chief's palm.

Alex was soft with her. She felt so safe here, her face cradled in Alex's lithe fingers, despite the thrum of her heart at her own mention of her ex-fiance.

She distracted herself by instead acknowledging the beauty in Alex's concerned features- the upwards tilt of her plucked, defined eyebrows, the small fold just below her bottom lip created by the little frown she sported. Around her shoulders, glittering like strands of something more valuable than gold, her blonde hair flowed as she drew her face closer to Casey's in order to inspect the fragile layer of skin on Casey's lips. Casey inhaled slowly, and she savored the smell of lavish perfume, vanilla, and the low tint of labdanum- below that, the faintest note of tobacco on Alex's breath from the cigarettes she snuck. Alex's hair smelled like eucalyptus, like violet leaf, and Casey didn't have to ponder that before attributing it- she already knew what it was. The woman's hair smelled like the shampoo Casey had gifted her.

"Is that why you slept with Steele?" Casey mumbled, running back to catch the last train of conversation because she wasn't sure she wanted to keep going on this one, and Alex resigned to accept back to the previous line. "He made you feel like you could let loose?"

"No," Alex sighed, flopping dramatically back down, and although in this position she couldn't keep her grasp on Casey's face she angled one side of her body so her fingertip could draw idle small spiral shapes on the faux blonde's hip.

"I didn't know what to do with my hands the whole time- it felt weird trying to touch him at all, not like it was taboo I just... didn't find myself wanting to." - Interesting, Casey mused, because Alex certainly had an affinity for touching Casey, - "So my arms were just awkward on the desk next to me and I didn't know how to rearrange my face, or anything like that, and the fact I noticed probably means I wasn't letting loose if I was concerned about it."

"How does he make you feel?"

Alexandra considered that for a long second, her body going still, hand dropping from where it played on Casey's waist, and her eyes returned thoughtfully to the hole they had bored into the plaster of the ceiling earlier.

"I... I suppose it felt like he was looking at me. Like really, looking at me. Sure, he's probably picturing some idealistic fantasy version of me who's definitely not who I actually am, and yeah his eyes were on my breast a lot more than my face, but... he kept his eyes on me the whole time. Some part of me, at least."

The faux blonde ADA found her gaze drift over to Alex's chest, something in her stomach whirring to life as she considered the soft flesh, remembered how it felt to see, to feel, to bite. To cup the anatomy in her palms and push gently, to roll the skin between her fingers. Alex had lovely breasts, that much was very obvious, but Casey couldn't imagine looking at them more than she looked at her face.

Because oh, how angelic Alex looked lying there. She was still stationary, her body lacking movement other than the soft rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, her face stuck in a look of tentative contemplation, her eyebrows a centimeter closer together than they should've been as she tried to untangle the knots that were her romantic or sexual relationships in her mind. The ridge of her eyebrows, the way her bone structure dipped so perfectly, how her cheekbones were so defined yet her face so round and soft, her jawline sharp enough Casey thought she could nick herself on it if she wasn't careful. Her lips were so perfect, her eyes even more so. Casey would be fully content to drown in her complexion.

"Okay, Cabot." Casey nodded firmly, a conclusion drawn with finality, her sharp mind still geared to be attentive and offer some sort of advice or conclusion despite the majority of her brain space being used for admiration.

"You're having an identity crisis. You slept with Jim Steele because you're having an identity crisis."

Alex snapped upward, a flash of indignation in her taken-aback eyes and expression that made Casey chuckle. She shook her head, adamantly, raising her hands as if threatened.

"No, absolutely not, where did you think to get that from?"

Casey studied how even faux outraged, Alex was still equally as beautiful as she was in thought, her eyes being drawn to the delicate column of her throat, emphasized by the bands of muscle in her neck that shifted as she moved, as she swallowed. It was impolite not to meet the eyes of someone talking to you but Casey couldn't help herself from letting her eyes flicker down.

Alex's mouth had rounded in a bewildered 'o' shape, her lips parting, her eyes fixing Casey with a sharp stare that made her chuckle only harder. Watching Alex be playful with her like this almost felt as though they had something that transcended simple female friendship- Casey could easily kiss her without hesitation now. She didn't.

"Also, forgive me for saying this, but it doesn't particularly seem like you love either of these people-?" Casey continued casually, having mastered her poker face that allowed her to simultaneously follow a conversation while her mind was somewhere entirely else, ignoring Alex's sheer flummox.

Alex kicked her again, with her knee this time, a bit more forceful than last time but still so gentle and slow Casey registered it and actively decided not to dodge. Alex held herself up in an awkward sitting position by stiffening her arms and putting the weight of her torso on her shoulders, staring and shaking her head with complete bafflement at Casey as though the faux blonde friend of her's had just told her she was growing roses from her ears.

"Casey," Alex barked, her voice sharp yet never losing the small taste of playful banter the two always shared and Casey had grown very, very fond of, "You will explain to me what you mean this instant. Talk."

"Listen," Casey patted her on the knee again, inhaling and composing her thoughts slightly, "You became entangled with Robert because he knows things about you, and because he already did know you before witness protection, didn't you? He had known who you were before. He referenced that in the first thing he had said to you."

"I, I suppose-?" Alex spoke quickly, hastily, her eyes flickering to the side as if trying to visualize her soon-to-be fiance.

"And Steele had a fantasy about you, and he wanted you so desperately he fucked up your designer clothes trying to get it, but you did it because he was looking. To some extent, you felt like he saw you, perhaps the more primal side you felt like you couldn't show Stilton."

Alex pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around her legs and straightening a bit more so she didn't need to rest all her weight on her wrists anymore, but her leg lay still against Casey's torso, the peak of which rested near her sternum, and neither woman seemed to do anything about it.

"It's all about identity, no? In witsec, you had to be someone else. Robert knew who you were before and remembered the things you had to change about yourself in order for your own protection, and it must've been hard to return from that, trying to step back into your own shoes after pretending they weren't yours for so long. But Robert's validation of who you are only lasts so long as you're in crowded areas, and when he doesn't know what to do with you in quiet settings, you feel like you don't know what to do with yourself."

"Oh, Casey-" Her brow was furrowed now, the corners of her eyes shifting as she squinted.

"And then Steele's validating your power, the fact you're the chief of homicide, he's looking at you and knowing who you are and fantasying about a version of you that he made up because he's so enraptured in the person you are now that-"

"Now that I'm allowed to be myself again," Alex sighed despairing, shifting to press her forehead firmly into Casey's relaxed shoulder and curling into her side. "Oh, fuck, Casey, no wonder you're such a formidable prosecutor, you just read me like an open book."

As if something just occurred to her, she bolted straight, sliding one leg off of Casey's lap so she could push herself up, straddling the younger woman. "Oh hell, did I do that to you?"

Casey leaned her head into one of her own palms, offering a nonchalant shrug.

"Wasn't that the premise of us sleeping together? I was trying to build your confidence and help you get your sense of power back. You looked really satisfied with yourself when you got me squirming. I was trying to help foster your combative spark back."

"What?"

The blonde's voice was so startled, a note of genuine upset in her voice that it did actually manage to catch the ADA off guard, her eyes quickly flickering around Alex's widened, rounded blue ones, searching intently. Alex wasn't teasing her anymore, based on the emphasized crease between her brows.

"And you were okay with that? Casey, I- I assure you, when we slept together I wasn't thinking about me, I was thinking about how much I liked these."

To gesture to what she meant by that, Alex slid the pads of her fingertips beneath the fabric of Casey's untucked blouse, over the waistband of the slacks and gliding, pressing softly, against the relaxed yet defined muscles that formed her abs. Casey jerked, and Alex's eyes darted down the observe how the other woman's body tightened beneath her fingers, to admire the lines between the blocks of abdominal muscles that emphasized the extent to which Casey's core was built.

"Whoa Nelly, you don't need two affairs in one day, Alex-" Casey muttered quickly, suddenly breathless. As she said it, though, she registered in her brain she really wouldn't mind if Alex never stopped the gentle swipes of her thumb inside the dips between her muscles for the rest of her life.

"It wouldn't be an affair if it was with you," Alex shrugged, retrieving her hand from where she had let it explore and patting the hem of Casey's blouse above where it had just been to shift the fabric back down over. "Robert doesn't think homosexuality in women 'counts'."

"...What? Is he stupid?"

Casey's incredulousness at the attitude of Alex's soon-to-be fiance towards potential lesbianism did not deter the blonde, though, who as though lost in thought allowed her hands to move in the same idle patterns along the younger woman's torso, although above the fabric of her blouse this time.

"You know the function I was trying to convince you to come with me too?" She asked instead, averting her gaze from Casey's, her fingertips drawing lazy circles on one of the lower buttons of Casey's shirt.

Casey snorted, leaning back and spreading her shoulders out- if Alex wanted to play around with her shirt, she was welcome to do so, "Yeah, I remember I said I'd rather use a strand of Roger Kressler's over-greased hair to floss my teeth than show up to that."

"He barely even has any!" Alex laughed sharply. Casey felt the other woman's sudden reaction to her unexpected sassiness- the broad, amused smile- infect and catch up on her own face, too.

"Okay, well, I ended up bringing Olivia, and she met Robert there. Those two had a little too much to drink that night and then Liv made a comment about how the two of us had kissed before and if he wasn't careful she'd steal me back to have for herself again, and he said he didn't mind me with women because it wasn't the real thing."

Stilton's rejection of the conclusion a female partner could rival a heterosexual relationship was not unheard of to Casey. She had heard about such beliefs before, and considering Alex was a born member of the last traces of what one could consider noble society in America, the people she was surrounded by having traditional and utterly archaic understandings of homosexuality was not very surprising.

What she was more startled by was the reference to Benson. Olivia's jesting as such did not surprise her, the brunette was lively and humorous and Casey appreciated that about her, but the information that Alex and her former colleague had kissed before was previously undisclosed information, and now it felt odd. If Olivia and Alex had previously kissed- perhaps not coupled as they had, but if Olivia was joking about it, surely it had crossed the brunette detective's mind before ... Casey wondered, then, if Olivia had an enclosed office and not only her desk in the bullpen, if Alex would be choosing to spend her hours with her instead.

For the first time, Casey felt an inkling of jealousy. She did not feel the need to compete with men, for she was on a different level of connection to Alex than Stilton or even Steele, but she didn't like the idea that the 'friend' she borderline flirted with and basked in the presence of so comfortably could potentially have another version of the connection they shared with someone else.

But when she registered her vision again, Alex was staring intently down at Casey's stomach as if something fascinating was written on the impressions made by her muscles against the tight, tailored fabric, and with a soft scoff to herself she decided she hardly needing to be jealous- she did not have to compete with Olivia for Alex's attention, because evidently, Casey's lap was the one Alex was currently straddling.

Returning to the conversation and breaking out of her thoughts, though, Casey realized there might actually be an implication of something else on Alex's mind from the way she hadn't denied Casey's joke comment about a second affair. Alex was staring down at her with some sort of intensity, after all.

"Hmm, that's... well, we would know it's an affair, wouldn't we?" Casey kept her tone light, because, in all honesty, she wasn't entirely sure if Alex had been jesting or even meant to imply anything by what she had said, although Casey was certainly thinking about it now.

She entertained the thought of allowing Alex back under her shirt, perhaps to a greater extent, and she too entertained her eyes as they drifted back to observe the shade of lipgloss adorning Alex's lips. She could kiss her.

"Regardless of the whole sapphism-denial belief," Alex murmured, "I did just genuinely have extra-relational involvement, and if I'm honest, I don't know if I care."

So- the concept of them was on the table.

Casey sighed, tilting her head and allowing her body to shift slightly. Alex shifted off of her, returning to sit beside her simply on the couch, her body angled to Casey's stationary stature.

"Do you really want to engage him, then?" Casey questioned, although she was sure she knew the answer. "If you don't love him, and you don't feel guilty about sleeping with someone else?"

Alex shrugged. She, too, knew that Casey was already aware of what she would respond with, but Alex supposed if Casey was deciding the contribute to the conversation verbally she might as well proceed with the motion set.

"I'm turning forty, soon." She said this as though that was an adequate reason to get married. "My family expects it," Casey supposed that reason made at least a bit more sense, "I know we'd have a stable, uneventful life together," ever-planning, always eyes toward the future, Casey supposed Alex was, "and he likes me. I might not find anyone else who would marry me- I might not find anyone else who I'd accept to marry."

None of those were decent reasons to marry someone, Casey wanted to implore her, but from the vague and nearly blank tone in Alex's voice, it was obvious Alexandra Cabot was entirely aware she was signing up for a marriage of convenience. She did not love Robert Stilton.

Casey's mind was brought back to Charlie, to the way she had felt when she realized Charlie was planning on proposing to her, to the pounding feeling of life in her chest- god, she had been so young then, she had still been studying. It felt like a lifetime ago that she had genuinely believed she would find a life partner, and over the years she had accepted it. Accepted what Alex could not. Casey was content to live a life alone, failing the expectations of her parents, rather than marry without love so strong she'd be overcome by it, marry without total conviction. It didn't make Alex's action morally wrong to her, though, she understood the feeling completely. Casey had still a better relationship with her family than Alex did her's, and Casey could bear the weight of romantic failure. Alex was raised to be a woman of proper society, and if the term spinster still existed, Casey was sure it was never Alex's fate to become one.

Alex would have married some man, eventually, and despite her doubt, if it wasn't Stilton, it would be another. Alex's relationship had developed at an exponential rate, dating to the thought of marriage within months, and Casey was sure a woman like her with a plethora of potential suitors would find another to throw herself at if Alex did find a serious issue with Stilton. It would blossom just as rapidly. There was no doubt Alex would be married before forty.

And perhaps a potential other man would feel differently towards sapphism.

Selfishly, oh god, very selfishly, Casey realized she would not mind Alex marrying Stilton specifically if it meant she would not have to relinquish the faint traces of affection, the lingering touch of Alex that lasted too long to be entirely platonic. She had expected it to leave as Alex's relationship with her true partner developed, but tonight's conversation made it obvious Alex was not in love, and that meant whatever- whatever strange thing grew wings between the two women- Casey would not have to bid it farewell. Suspicion from Alex's husband would not have to be a fear for her, for he did not recognize the pounding of Casey's heart for his woman as anything real. It felt very real to Casey, though.

She realized she had gone utterly silent for too long, but then again, so had Alex, when her ears perked to the sound of church bells ringing through the streets, signaling summons to the faithful to recite the Lord's prayer. Casey focused on reciting it internally in her mind- Alex was not religious, if it was Stabler near her they would mutter it under their breath out loud,- and prayed that the Lord would forgive her for the thought she was having towards a blonde Chief of the Homicide department. Not forgive her for homosexuality, no, she knew God loved her regardless of that- she prayed to Him that he would not recognize Alex's marriage, the one that would surely be officiated and be proclaimed to be before Him, so Casey would not have to grapple with the idea of violating the holy sanctimony of Alex's future marriage.

A marriage of convenience was still marriage, and Casey would not dare offend her Father by violating that bond.

But it hadn't been formed yet, she justified, and perhaps something would occur soon to allow her the Lord's response that what she was doing was not...

"Oh, it's six already?" Came Alex's soft voice, broken out of her own independent internal monologue.

"Evidently." Casey nodded, tilting her head to angle it in the direction of Alex, breathing deeply until she caught the faintest hint of nicotine that she could normally only catch if Alex was inches from her face.

Icy blue eyes that contained the passion of a hot spring found eyes as stubborn as the shade of chrome tourmaline that matched them, and they stared wordlessly at each other. Alex's pupils began to dilate slowly and Casey was sure her own must be following suit.

She watched as Alex swallowed, and their eyes communed with each other for a long, long moment, before Alex shifted up and stood, breaking the extent of charged eye contact.

Alex left in this way often, looking at her and then beginning to drift her way off, exchanging goodbyes only when she was already in the doorway. Casey had noticed this about her-, when Alex no longer wanted to entertain conversation, it was like a switch flipped, and she would leave at the earliest availability. It wasn't something Casey took personally anymore, it was just something Alex seemed to do, and Casey had weeks ago resigned herself to accept whatever Alex found herself doing.

She did as Casey expected her to, traveling to the door in her languished, long gate, reaching the door, and resting her hand on the door handle, before she turned back, a flicker of complexity in her elegant face.

"...Casey?"

"Mhm?" Casey was still lying backward on the couch, her arms spread out over the sides of the backrest, but she folded herself into a more composed sitting position under Alex's attention.

"Would you care? If we- ..."

Casey, then, (god, finally) recognized the telltale signs of unadulterated lust in Alex's face- she felt silly for not realizing that earlier- and her own previous question sprang straight back to mind. The only thing Alex had not answered, the note Casey had made to pick the interrogation back up at a later time- this was a later time, and it was now again relevant- 'Did Steele dick do any good for you'.

Snapping out of her emotionally complex daze, Casey almost laughed at the absurdity of it.

"Oh, he didn't get you off, did he?", Casey realized out loud, and all of a sudden the deep unsettling feeling of yearning was replaced by sheer bafflement and wild amusement, her voice coming out in a snort when she asked, "Steele couldn't finish the job?"

Alex apparently found it irritating that Casey thought this was funny, because she crossed her arms at her and came as close as the illustrious Alexandra Cabot could come to pouting, her bottom lip forcing the teardrop formation above her top lip to distort slightly. Casey, too, thought this was amusing.

"..He thought he did," Alex tried to defend somehow, although Casey had no clue how that could ever be some sort of defense, and she broke open into an audible guffaw, covering the lower portion of her face with her hand.

Alex's subordinate had not managed to bring her to climax, and the sexual frustration was evidenced by how this conversation had gone- she had come here to satisfy it, somehow.

That notion soothed the strange boiling feeling in the base of Casey's heart- no, this was not some twisting and writhing tumultuous emotional affair, and if it was it was one-sided on Casey's part which she could easily put up with on her own, Alex was here simply because she was horny. That was what Casey could force herself to assume, anyway.

Because Casey could deal with that- and she could certainly deal with Alex, too.

"But now you're worked up and you know Robert won't be able to take care of you either?" She couldn't resist prodding further fun at Alex, her voice reclaiming the teasing note they always used with each other in the long hours they had been spending together over the past months.

It was easy, how fast she managed to flip back into this other side of her, the playful, almost youthfully energetic face she could wear around Alex.

Alex's grip on her crossed arms tightened and she tilted her head in mock outrage, just as she had done earlier- she, too, had suddenly snapped out of whatever shared emotional exertion she had been faced with while Casey dealt with her feelings and Catholic guilt.

They were friends.

They were friends, and they could banter, and Casey was not at odds with the concept of friends with benefits- she had done it before herself before and after Charlie, and she had no argument to participate in it again. She'd just ignore the fact Alex would soon become someone else's, it was an issue she could spend hours pondering later.

Alex had come to her because she was aroused and knew Casey could handle that, because they were friends and she trusted her nakedness and her pleasure to be in Casey’s hands, and there was nothing else at play. This was sexual entirely by nature, and nothing else. This is what Casey told herself like a grounding mantra.

It wasn't like she could expect Alex to reflect the depth of her emotion. Alex would not be able to comprehend how Casey felt about her. Friends with benefits, the benefit being the violation of Alex’s engagement, was what Alex would offer, and it's what Casey would lick off the plate same as she would with anything Alex provided.

"..well then, Cabot," she let her lips form a smug, easy smile, and she arched her back invitingly as she leaned back, "come sit on Daddy's lap."

"Please never refer to yourself like that again." Alex's voice was incredulous, but she flipped the lock on the door and yanked the lever for the blinds to snap shut, turning the overhead light off so the only light source was the dying sun outside casting molten gold on the side of Casey's office wall.

Alex's first step back towards her was so tentative it almost scared Casey out of it, but then her next was with a hasty recklessness that reassured her again.

The blonde stood before her, and leaned down, hand reaching for her throat with Casey craned up to allow her, and as Alex ran her long, slim fingers along the junction between Casey's jaw, neck, and ear, they rediscovered the same charged energy in lust-blown wide eyes.

And then Casey was kissing her, soft but without hesitation, and how Alex melted into it, like this was something that was supposed to happen, like it was natural.

It was not rushed, and although it was heady and exciting it was not needy, it was not impatient. Casey knew they were about to sleep together but there was no drive to forfeit any form of foreplay, and Alex's soft, composed movements seemed to suggest the same.

Alex's fingers, the ones on the hand not cupping the side of Casey’s face, for that palm was being used to tilt the faux blonde's face to the side so Alex could encourage her to tilt her head so she could kiss her deeply, reached down to begin undoing the buttons on her own cardigan, the knitted fabric spilling open to reveal her chest, the expanse of skin Casey had been previously fantasizing about, and it was simultaneously so exciting and yet familiar it felt like either the first time or the product of many, surely not the second.

The blonde pulled them apart as though gauging Casey’s reaction to the motion, a thin thread of saliva connecting their tongues as Alex leaned back, and when Casey did not violently tug her forward like she almost expected her to, Alex smiled softly and accepted Casey’s previous offer.

It took less than five seconds for Alex to undo the latch on her belt and let her designer pants drop uselessly to the floor, and then one long, lissom leg found purchase on the couch beside Casey's slightly parted thighs, followed smoothly by the other. Casey had to crane her neck upwards, now, to reach her head up to find Alex’s lips again, and god- fuck, no,- did it feel like coming home.

A gentle push-pull rhythm was developed, a soft turn exchange between whose tongue was exploring where, and Alex stiffened imperceptibly as if she expected Casey to take more or expect more than she was providing, but Casey did not. The elder relaxed, then, breathing contently through her nose, rewarding Casey with the feeling of air against the smooth skin of her face as Alex exhaled.

Alex did not settle down, though, and Casey supposed that much was implied, since in this position with Alex effectively upright on her knees, there was space between the elder woman’s lower extremities and Casey’s still-clothed legs.

From how the column of Alex’s throat pressed against Casey’s face, the younger woman could smell the faint traces that Steele must have left- a slight tinge of metallic saliva across Alex’s neck and the junction of her collar to her shoulder, which Casey was more than happy to quickly replace with her’s, lapping at the elder blonde’s skin. As much as she wanted to bite, to suckle, she would never dream of it, for in an hour Alex would go home to a boyfriend who could not know this happened. But still, she could assert superiority over Jim Steele. Alex moaned softly at the feeling of Casey's tongue soothing any last traces off of her, leaving only her own.

One of Casey’s hands found an easy hold on the curve of Alex's waist, supporting her, while the other began smoothing gently on the skin of her thighs, not near anything interesting, but enough that Alex let out an almost girlish whine. Both of Alex’s hands shifted to rest on Casey’s shoulders, and after a second, her elbows too, the blonde wrapping her arms around her, one hand tangling loosely in faux blonde locks.

“Casey, au, mmph-” Alex moaned into her ear softly as Casey's fingers crept up on her soft skin, echoing the moan again with increased vigor when Casey’s nail drew a small circle, and Casey snorted with a mild degree of amusement, before letting her go.

"...Alex, you don't expect me to genuinely believe that, do you?"

"Hm?" The blonde straightened with confusion, blinking down at Casey who looked at her with a very dead serious expression, piquing one eyebrow in an arch above her green eyes.

"You don't make sounds like that," Casey rasped, eyes flicking to Alex's face as the blonde pulled back hesitantly, Alex's hands coming to clasp around her jawline with that adorable nervous crease between her eyebrows, "And if I'm honest, your fake moans aren't going to get me anywhere."

Alex’s face flushed, the axis of her spine tilting backward as her eyebrows flexed together, not from the sex but from the embarrassment of being caught faking. Casey thought her surprised blush was rather cute.

The blonde was not a moaner, Casey had known that from the first time they slept together, from how as soon as Alex wasn't paying attention to her complexion anymore she fell silent and steady-faced. Anything she did in the earlier phases of relations was purely for the benefit of her partner, and she must be very used to performing in this way for Stilton and Steele, but it wasn't adding to Casey’s experience at all, no.

Alex’s form spoke more than her mouth did, from the way her muscles coiled beneath her skin like a jaguar's, from the way her hips twitched the slightest bit impatiently. She was clearly aroused, but the manifestation was not from her lips, and faux evidence was as pointless to Casey’s sex drive as it was to her in court.

"I'd rather you shut your pretty mouth,” Alex heard Casey coax, the blonde felt mildly disoriented, and she felt lithe fingers return and trace up, higher… She felt like she was supposed to whimper now, and for anyone else she would've made herself do so, but Casey was instructing her not to provide what wasn't genuine, so she didn't.

Casey’s voice was low, that honey-rusted thrum that Alex thought she may never get enough of, that Alex thought the real reason she kept coming into her office was just to hear her talk, even if it was to poke fun at her, even if it was a busier day and Casey couldn't spare absentminded time and instead just complained about what she was working on, was just to listen, to be intoxicated by the sound. She kept talking, but through the haze, Alex wasn't entirely sure if she managed to catch everything that was being said, filthy comments sliding from Casey’s mouth like diamonds dripping from the mouth of a dragon.

“And focus on the feeling of my hands,” Casey was saying, talking her through it as she prepared Alex to take her, “Feel them, Alex? How they're spreading you open?"

And yes, yes, that Alex did. Her fingers pushing the useless fabric covering her away, her middle finger sliding through the folds of her flesh while Casey's pointer and rings sprawled to the side, tugging her further exposed. Alex felt a muscle in her thigh jerk inadvertently. Casey was good at what she knew how to do, and Casey certainly knew how to use her hands.

She leaned forward again, nuzzling her nose into Casey’s hair and wrapping her arms gently around her head and neck. Casey’s body was warm, very warm, and she smelled like sandalwood and everything right with the world.

"And then I'm going to take this and.." The faux blonde was referring to the real evidence of her arousal, then, the warm liquid that pooled in the valley of her thighs, and Casey rolled the pad of her fingertip in a small, innocent circle to collect it there, before dragging it up and to the sensitive bundle of nerves just above.

The muscle in Alex’s thigh that Casey had been gauging her status off of pulsed, contracting, and releasing three times in quick succession, and she felt Alex swallow.

"Just like that, pretty one.” God, her voice- that same muscle stiffened at the sound and didn't let her go until Casey paused, and apparently this, too, was funny to the faux blonde, who scoffed softly, but to her credit concluded her statement, “Your body does all the talking for you and that's what gets me off."

A shaky exhale left Alex's lung and it stirred a strand of hair on Casey's head softly, and then her hips were moving with a greater need, the pad of Casey’s fingertips on her clit building the tense spring Steele had managed to create, to some degree, with his recklessness, but consuming it entirely making it so, so much worse. Her arousal was now entirely and exclusively Casey’s doing.

She didn't want Casey to restrain her or just hold her tightly, she took liberty in her ability to buck and squirm, and Casey did not even seem to consider holding her down or switching positions to make it easier for herself, seeming to be entranced by the simple fact she was making Alex writhe.

The muscles in her abdomen began to pound and contract, squeezing desperately around nothing as Casey continued gentle, firm circles, and Alex gritted her teeth. Casey was taking so long, too patient, teasing her- it was completely unlike sleeping with anyone else, the way Casey was building her up and relishing the way she was about to be brought back down with seemingly no impatience to get to that stage until Alex was hounding for it. The men in Alex’s life did nothing of the sort- she did all the work for Robert herself, to the extent she had to toy with herself beforehand to make sure the engine was even ready to go at all, and Steele just took what he wanted in a way that Alex was sure he thought metaphorically to be as a lion devouring gazelle but ended up more like a dog breeding without real intention, affection or even acknowledgment.

It seemed wildly silly to Alex that she had allowed him inside of her, a mere hour or so ago, just because it felt like she had his attention. Casey, now, was looking up at her with those unforgiving yet simultaneously ridiculously kind green eyes, narrowed and passionate and it made Alex feel guilty to even attempt to compare the two. Steele was a fine man but Casey might as well be heaven.

She was so aroused it began to feel as though it almost hurt, and Casey’s deliberately languished stimulation was not helping. Alex could feel her muscles keep trying to close down around fingers that weren't there.

Alex didn't understand why Casey was taking so damn long, despite her bucking, why wasn't Casey inside her already? It was obvious that's what she needed, why wasn't-

Oh, she realized, a coherent thought bursting through the dam, she’s waiting for me to tell her too.

It's what Alex needed and they both knew that, but Casey was waiting for Alex to tell her. Casey was letting Alex control her motions despite the fact Alex was in a position in which Casey could have her way with no argument.

Something about that made Alex feel disgusted with herself, perhaps the way that fact made her heart falter hopelessly. This was meaningless sex, wasn't it? It was intended to be. This was only because Steele couldn't force orgasm through her form, and if Alex hadn't been reckless earlier, they would not be here. But Casey was more attentive than Alex thought anyone had ever been to her before, and Alex hadn't even noticed that last time, because Alex had been the one more determinedly topping.

"Inside me, Casey," She muttered into her hair and tried to ignore the spillage of emotion inside the cavern of her chest, "Now."

"As you wish," Casey cooed, her voice still ridiculously smug, but without a second two of her long fingers were pushing right where Alex needed them to be, sinking in and filling her, thinner in diameter but so much more satisfying than Steele, and Casey's eyes were watching Alex's reddened lips part to form a breathless, wordless shape.

Alex didn't realize she was still anxious about not forcing reactions, not promoting herself to exhibit something to keep her partner enthused, until she heard Casey marvel, "You're so responsive," and Alex remembered how Casey could read between the lines of her skin. She closed her eyes and nestled her head on the top of Casey's, feeling her pant against her neck.

The heel of Casey’s palm stayed firmly against her clit, every movement of the faux blonde’s arms further building the tower of soft, intimate emotion swelling in Alex’s core, head, and heart, her fingers not so much dipping out of her as simply curling down and then springing back up, with Alex’s muscles contracting and gripping her digits tightly. God, it felt- On occasion, Alex would squeeze herself intentionally around the shaft of Robert, but this was most certainly not that, this was raw and unplanned, unthought of. Casey pulled reactions from her so seamlessly that Alex didn't know what exhibition of her lust she was displaying until Casey began praising her for it.

Men seemed to think the rougher, the more volatile their actions, the faster she’d be, but under Casey’s intent and smooth, lavished movements, deliberate and slow, Alex found herself warning her within minutes in a firm whisper, which sounded void of emotion, except Casey wasn't daft enough to not notice the way Alex had begun to tremble, "Casey- I'm getting close."

"I know."

And then Casey was faster and Alex’s eyes were squeezing shut with further vigor, and she didn't realize she was shivering with the pleasure until Casey’s free hand left the side of her thigh to the small of her back to keep her upright, not holding, not restraining, just supporting, and Alex sunk her hips down to meet the final, deep thrust of Casey’s fingers within her.

The spring snapped, and so did Alex.

Casey thought to herself vaguely that Alex’s climax might be the most ethereal thing she had seen in her life. Why would God allow her to see this, if it wasn't meant for her?

Elegant fingers and rounded fingernails clamped down around Casey’s shoulders, digging into the fabric of her blouse and the skin beneath it in a way that must hurt if it didn't feel so good.

Alex did not fold in on herself, but rather in a smooth, fluid motion each vertebrae stacked on top of each other, her muscles unfurling, her shoulder blades pushing back and spreading open as though she had wings- well, perhaps she did, Casey would not have been able to tell because that was not where she was looking.

Casey watched as Alex towered over her on her knees, her spine elongated, and her chest tilted backward in a way that caused the curves of her ribs to stand out against her skin, her pelvis tilting forward so she wouldn't be at risk of toppling backward.

Alex's eyes slid open, slowly, and she breathed through her mouth, and the younger ADA allowed her a long moment of utter silence while she looked up and admired.

Her cheeks showed evidence of blood racing through her veins, although Casey wouldn't consider it a blush. The dying light glittered and was reflected in the beads of sweat adorning her temples and chest. Her hair rippled easily around her throat and her collarbones, gold shining in the light of the last ember the sun managed to cough out before it, and the room too, sank into comfortable darkness. Her eyes were narrowed, pupils blown so wide the blue of her eyes was nonvisible. Her eyebrows, the ridge of which always carried such emotion, whether it be nonchalance or anguish, were entirely relaxed, and so too were her slightly parted lips and the lines on her cheeks that emphasized every expression she made. Alex wasn't pretending to be anything right now, she was just allowing her chest to heave with the effort of recovering from the perfervid orgasm Casey had given her.

She looked invincible, statuesque, all-powerful, and all-consuming.

Casey did not waste her time admiring by wondering if this could ever, in some other lifetime, really be hers.

"God-” the assistant district attorney breathed, Alex’s sheer beauty having spurred into verbal expression, but Alex shook her head in a small, breathless movement and the younger woman obediently shut up.

Alex stood up on her knees for a long moment, catching her breath, before she glanced down, contemplative, at the mess she had made of herself between her thighs. Removing one hand from Casey's shoulder, she moved to collect the fluid into the junction between two of her fingers, and then brought it back up to her friend’s face.

"Open your mouth, Casey- suck. Taste what you've done, and clean it off.”

With a soft scoff but a hast to comply which defeated Casey’s attempt to be nonchalant, she parted her lips and extended her tongue softly, allowing Alex to place her fingers down on it. Alex ignored the fact her hand was still quivering which was not helped when Casey closed down around it, nursing on her fingers softly, her tongue sliding between and around the columns of Alex’s fingers to taste what she had brought forth from her.

The look in Casey’s eyes as they half-lidded, staring vaguely at Alex’s wrist before traveling the length of her arm and finding her eyes, spurred Alex back on.

She slowly slid off of Casey's lap, hoisting her hips above the couch for a second to pull her mildly ruined panties back over her hips, before relaxing and eyeing Casey’s barely disheveled form attentively. Casey’s cheekbones and the top of her nose were tinted rose, and the look in her eyes displayed arousal.

Alex believed the natural continuation to be the soft request that left her mouth, "Can I care for you, now?", but Casey only sighed, lolling her head backward, the look of lust fleeting from her expression, although her eyes did not turn cold as it left. She regarded Alex kindly, softly. Too sympathetically for Alex to be comfortable with, but it was hard not to be comfortable around Casey.

"Shouldn't you be going home soon?” Casey murmured, “I'm not exactly sure, despite you saying he wouldn't consider this- this to be anything,” - what was it, she thought to herself, if not everything - “If I want an annoyed Robert Stilton showing up at my office impatient for you to go home and UberEats him dinner."

Alex’s eyes flickered down to her exposed chest, to her bare thighs, and registered that yes, he had said he did not believe sapphism to be anything deep enough to rival the heterosexuality that they shared, but it still probably would not be ideal for him to find her like this, or even for him to begin wondering. Besides, if he pondered why she was late, it might somehow be discovered she had slept before this with Jim Steele, and that would genuinely be an issue, which seemed entirely ironic. Alex was content to never feel him around her again, but she might drown if she didn't get to make time to stop by Casey’s office tomorrow.

She felt like she would drown right now, actually, at the thought of leaving.

"Can I stay here a little longer?"

Alex was worried, suddenly, that Casey might regret what they had just done. Perhaps Casey was nonchalantly trying to send her on her way, to tell her to go. Maybe Casey felt used, and Alex gritted her teeth at that thought because she had no clue how to make Casey not feel that way- if that was in fact what she felt- without returning the favor, and Casey apparently did not want her to.

But when she studied Casey’s eyes, they were warm, and she couldn't pick out the color as well in the near darkness but she would recognize the soft emotion in the younger woman’s eyes anywhere. Casey was content.

"You know I'd never say no to that,” Casey hummed, and the deliciously feminine rasp made Alex’s heart clench awkwardly. Casey had noticed Alex had grown concerned and was trying to reassure her. Casey was trying to reassure *her*.

The view Alex had of Casey’s face suddenly blurred and in the fact of her mind she was mildly concerned about her vision growing even worse still without her glasses, before she realized- no, this wasn't an issue of her optics, rather her eyes had glazed over with glassy, soft tears.

Casey’s eyebrows knit over her eyes with a spark of worry, leaning forward and grasping one of Alex’s hands between two of her own, inquiring in a gentle tone, "Are you okay?"

"You're my best friend, Casey."

She said that because she had absolutely no idea how to convey what she really wanted to. Alex didn't know how to make it coherent nor if she was even allowed to say it if she could. She wiped at her eyes with the base of her thumb, and the tears were gone quickly, but the impact they left did not fade just as fast.

Wasn't it so horrendous of her to do this to Casey? To plead out of the situation she had put herself in by pushing her issues and her problems to burden the shoulders of a woman who probably wouldn't see her again if Alex stopped showing up at her office? Casey had taken care of her bewilderment, of her sexual frustration, and now was trying to take care of her anxiety, too. And no one else who knew her would've even realized the blonde was grappling with emotions at all. Casey was just too giving, and it made a bitter taste fill her mouth.

In Casey’s mind, she was stuck somewhere between a daze induced by the imagery of post-orgasmic Alexandra Cabot standing like an angel above her- she was sure the sight of which was burned firmly behind her eyelids- and trying to figure out why Alex seemed like she was crying. Casey was the one who felt so much it made her heart twist uncomfortably, right? Alex was a free-spirited, illustrious woman who simply came down from the sky to grace Casey with her presence every now and again and allow Casey to please her with whatever means Alex so desired. Tonight it was sex, but it might not ever be again. Alexandra Cabot was probably not fond of Casey the way Casey was so enraptured by her. They were friends, as Alex had just said. Perhaps that was her intention to state that, perhaps she just wanted to hear out loud the verbalization that friends was all this was.

"That seems like a rather juvenile term.” Casey was trying to be lighthearted, hesitating, and hoping it didn't come off like she was denying Alex her friendship, but she couldn't accept the word completely, “We aren't exactly elementary students making friendship bracelets..."

Alex snorted, a smile flickering over her expression, and although it was forced genuine affection crept into it quickly and overtook the original intent. Casey returned her smile and Alex flopped down, her head on the side of Casey’s torso, right around her collarbone. How stupid was it that Casey could make her laugh even now?

"Confidant, then,” she bartered, “My consigliere."

She closed her eyes so her ears would encapsulate more of Casey’s small, casual chuckle, and then Alex felt herself tense slightly as she felt Casey’s hand creep below her cardigan on her back, tracing up and down the bones of her spine that stuck out from beneath her skin.

Alex groaned softly as she felt Casey's fingers begin to push against the knots she had formed in her spine. Of course, she hadn't realized how stiff and uncomfortable her back was until Casey was already acting on it, of course, Casey had been able to tell immediately. Alex wondered vaguely when Casey had gotten the idea to massage her because it seemed like it was planned, almost, for Casey did not explore, she moved as though she knew exactly how and what to do.

"... I suppose, so far as friends go,” Alex heard Casey’s voice falter, gently, “you're the best friend I've ever had, too."

The elder woman swallowed and curled more avidly against Casey’s body until she could feel the thrum of her heartbeat and the gentle rise and fall of her breathing as though it was Alex's own. Casey's hands became more insistent as she soothed out the traces of soreness Steele would've left on Alex's frame, if Alex had gone home before, if Alex had chosen to deal with her frustrations in solitude.

"I don't feel comfortable around him-” she was referring to Robert, the man she was supposed to soon leave to return home to, but then she added reference to Steele, too, “either of them- the way I feel so…” - she had no clue what to say, here, - “warm, when I'm around you."

Her blue eyes blinked open, and she knew Casey must see the age, the exhaustion her life had taken in them, they weren't as bright as robin’s eggshells the way they had appeared when she was still a child. Casey’s own paralleled this, the green chipped at the edges, like an emerald worn by time. They were old, they were too old to be acting like this. Like reckless teenagers in love, despite the fact that both women believed fully that the other did not love them.

‘I’m fond of you,’ Alex said with her eyes, with her breathing, ‘in a way that goes deeper than I think it should be.’ Casey studied her for a long moment, her breath catching, and in Alex's position, she could hear as her heart began to beat with a slight uptake in intensity.

A crease appeared between Alex’s eyebrows that conveyed ‘I don't know what to do about how I feel nor do I know exactly what I feel, I think the combination of what has happened to me and the things I’ve done to recover that inadvertently robbed me further of my control- I think it broke something-' and even though she wasn't rambling out loud Casey's slow blink dulled the race of her thoughts. Casey leaned forward, just slightly, a motion so small it might've not happened at all.

‘I’m here,’ she meant, ‘I don't care that you don't know. I don't care if you don't know who you are, because I know you. I might be in love with you and it doesn't hurt me. Don't be scared of me, Alex. Don't be scared that I know you. Maybe you only like me for the sake I see what you are, and that doesn't bother me.’ And Alex looked away, then, because she felt the tears she had refused to let fall prickle back in her eyes, and she would not cry in front of Casey. Her best friend. She put enough emotion on her best friend that she wouldn't let Casey need to help her cope with sobbing, too. Alex had not cried since witness protection and if she started now she may not stop. Robert was at home waiting for her. She could not allow herself to show up post-sex and post-tears, and she couldn't keep stalling for time, stalling for another few seconds being held by Casey Novak either.

Casey took pity on her. Their exchange was through exclusively body language and if Alex chose to ignore it happened, believe she had interpreted communication where there was none, that was her right.

"Maybe they also have your iron deficiency problem,” Casey joked because the words came easy to her, her facade was so strong the jest came off as so close to genuine to Alex, so casual and offhand it did really seem like they were nothing more than friends, and nothing had happened other than meaningless sex, “More red meat, I'm telling you."

"Should I get on that?” Alex scoffed, mirroring Casey’s nonchalance now, “Go home and order hamburgers or something?"

The return to normalcy was so fast, sliding porcelain masks back over warmed skin, that it hurt both of them to do so.

Casey turned to her. Internally she was scared that Alex would say goodbye and not come back. It didn't matter if the last time they exchanged anything intimate or kissed had just passed, but she wanted Alex to know she was welcome to return, that Casey hoped she would choose to do so.

"I won't force you out,” she said softly, “You wander in and wander out at your whim, Alex, and-” Alex raised her head to meet her eyes with a vague stare, which Casey was pleased by, “I'll be here."

"I think I should go home, then.” Alex whispered, “You're right, he's probably waiting."

Casey watched, unmoving and unreactive, as Alex stood, retrieved her garment from where it had been tossed on the floor, concealing the skin Casey had just fondled with quick work, the latch of the belt the only sound in the now silent, now still room. Alex picked her purse from the floor, and then turned, striding the same way towards the doorframe as she had just before they had engaged.

And just as before, she turned, because Alex couldn't resist catching a last glimpse, providing a last word.

"Casey-, quid pro quo?” In a soft, tentative voice she asked, “Can I return the favor tomorrow?"

A small thrill raced through Casey's blood and she provided a small, firm nod, tilting her head in a way that caused her faux blonde hair to spill effortlessly over and around her shoulders.

"Wander in and wander out at your will, Alex. You can have what you need from me.”

Alex was fully aware of why she slept with Casey when she left her office.

But she barely even left her office, no, because she couldn't make it more than a couple steps away with spinning on her heel, coming back in just as Casey had stood from the couch, wrapping her hands around the faux blonde’s collar and kissing her, quietly and quickly, hungrily, guilty, needy. Heady, fast, and soft.

As fast as the flash of blonde hair had reappeared in Casey's vision it was then gone again, and Alex verschwand quickly, lost in the wind, leaving Casey standing with her arms half-raised awkwardly, her lips in a started, kiss-swollen gape, the heart racing in her chest. That was certainly not friendly. That was the furthest thing from platonic.

Alex knew why she’d keep sleeping with Casey, too.

[auroratumbles]

first of all, do NOT in any way harass nor send hate to anyone mentioned in this post. this is simply to raise awareness about it all!!

user @/ceneid (formerly) was a popular person in the genshin writing community who lied about their age, identity, faked an ed, and was just mainly a shitty person in general.

all the information on this post comes from an anonymous source

the blogs that were owned by elise are:

ceneid

hikoiaa

umiloa

ha-yami

scarasgfreal

symphxony

fionvancia

fixnaie

a quote from my source:

"for context, elise ran a total of 4-5 accounts, with her very first blog being ceneid that was also mutuals with you - they’re the same person. elise had multiple accounts where she claimed she was different ages and it was fairly obvious it was her due to the fact that she didn’t bother to change her typing style or themes, one of the blogs claimed she was 18, a few of my friends and i ended up noticing she had a terrible tendency to say things like “oh i haven’t eaten in 20 hours! should i eat? oh nvm” and such which led to everyone being concerned, these were EXTREMELY frequent, and she’d speak about self harm - randomly putting it in a casual conversation without warning.

she also asked for my location at some point, and overall i eventually grew tired of it and blocked her. later on, someone i know made a callout post on her and it ended in shambles, elise continued to try to get them to take the post down but to no avail until elise deactivated ceneid and started the hikoiaa blog. the person who made the post found out it was her and the cycle continued, until elise ended up admitting everyone and apologized to everyone per the person’s request.

after elise did that, the person deactivated their blog thinking elise had changed for the better - and i even interacted with her too because i thought the same thing. unfortunately, we were all wrong and found out elise owned the @/symphxony blog where she says she’s 17. multiple things have it away that it was her such as coincidentally posting the same things, following the exact same people, and elise also bypassed someone’s boundaries by interacting with them through the blog as a way to become friends with them despite the person telling her to not interact with her directly.

elise made excuses when i confronted her and told her to stop, and she played it off as coincidences like she did before when the owner of the call out post tried to talk things out with her. i have people who can vouch for everything im saying, as well as some screenshots that would unfortunately not fit into this ask because there’s too many of them, she also has this strange obsession with following and interacting with people that i follow and interact with in any shape or form, this has happened almost 7 times now as well. she’s constantly made blogs to follow me on despite me telling her to NEVER contact me again. this stopped a few days ago when she blocked me."

screenshots provided were

another quote:

"elise’s stories never made sense, they were always exaggerated and/or made her seem smarter than she actually was - this was a small bit of the proof that she was lying about her age at the end when she claimed to be 16. she linked a few tiktoks on her blog, revealing her account in the process that studied 7th grade science"

she was called out by someone else on tumblr initially, but that post was lost to the depths. she lied about having a joint blog with someone when it was really just her. to save her own skin, she dmed them.

when that blog blocked her, she made a 'burner account' to talk to them even more.

another blog named 'scarasgfreal' was made. they were 𝜗𝜚 anon and 🦢 anon. the blog was made a few days after the incident mentioned above.

the blog confronted elise.

part 2 of this post

[strawbqq]

HI THIS IS JUDY ON HER MAIN ACCOUNT I have to request for tecchou (and jouno too idk if you allow multiple characters 😭)

If you have ever read 'conversations with friends', it's about "tortured poets" meeting one another and bonding over it. But I was hoping for headcanons or a scene where the reader sorta "connects" with the hunting dogs over their line of work in this way? Like "I am you and you are me"

Maybe the reader is in the government but another org, idk take it however you want

If you haven't read the book/seen the show I sooooo recommend it btw it's so good 🥹

a/n: yesyes ty for requesting.ᐟ.ᐟfinally done after many many days of procrastination *ahem . I didn't read the book so im sorry if this isn't what u wanted 😭😭 enjoy.ᐟ.ᐟ

―⟡𝘽𝙎𝘿 𝙢𝙚𝙣 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙘 𝙝𝙘𝙨 + 𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙤

[Warnings: nothing.ᐟ✰] [Word count: 536 || 𝓮𝓷���𝓸𝔂.ᐟ]🍓

°ᡣ𐭩ft. tecchou, jouno

sfw. hcs

𝕋𝕖𝕔𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕦

to cross paths with tecchou is a opportunity hard to come by even though u both work for the government

you first encountered each other during a joint mission

u don't really notice him until you see him eating beef w/ chocolate i see jouno yelling his head off in the corner

you're so professional and cool that tecchou is very intrigued by you 😔

tbh for u two to connect ur the one who's gonna have to initiate the convo

u see him in action during the mission and wow 🤩 olala

after the mission, u accidentally bump into tecchou in places u wouldn't expect (maybe he was always there, you just never noticed)

it's casual at first, just a quick 'oh, its you.ᐟ.ᐟ' but then a conversation starts, and u both realize yall have a lot in common

u both love nature walks/photography idk if this is accurate BUT BUT we did see him observing ants for 8 hours sooo

after a mission or a busy week u run into each other again in a park or near a scenic area

the casual setting gives u two a chance to interact outside of work, which naturally leads to a conversation.ᐟ.ᐟ

it's a relaxing, low-pressure environment for getting to know each other better\,,after a while u two are almost like friends rather than work associates.ᐟ.ᐟ

tecchou as a friend is so calming tbh

generally lets u do all the talking before saying something totally unrelated in the middle of a rant

altogether a very steady, reliable person

in the end u two are still divided by the invisible line that separates him, a hunting dog, from you, a regular government agent

but by now he's already lots closer to u than anyone else outside work, & he'll do his best to be a loyal & dependable friend 🥰

just like, never let him cook if u know u know

𝕁𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕠

you're sent to deliver important documents from your organization to the Hunting Dogs' HQ

it's a routine assignment, but when u arrive, alarms go off for some reason 😔

before u can explain yourself, jouno appears out of thin air using his ability and scares the shit out of you

well, he cant do no nothing bc he knows ur telling the truth

ngl, for u to feel connected to this guy, u must be one heck of a simp

u *might get on agreeable terms w/ him after a while, though, if you say you also hate tecchou

you're called back for multiple deliveries throughout the month

jouno, against all odds, actually remembers u.ᐟ.ᐟ wow

just talk to him and try not to be annoyed by his rants :)

challenge him (respectfully) he's gonna cheat

jouno as your friend tho???

100% blunt honesty, you're probably gonna get mad 9 times out of 10

probably knows u better than u know yourself after a while

absolutely doesn't let u get a word in, rants the whole time about tecchou or anything that annoyed him

u can never tell if he's joking or not

one of these days he's gonna go, 'why u smell like...blueberry and wet dog—'

yes please smack him for me

a/n: again im so sorry if this isn't what u wanted judy, im so proud that u requested 😭 BUT YAY FINALLY DONE HAHAHA (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ ty to everyone who read this, have a good day.ᐟ.ᐟ

𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾.ᐟ ʚ🍓ɞ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs + ʟɪᴋᴇs ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ

o(≧▽≦)o

[whimsicalhorss]

The Recent Nevermore Drama.

Red, I think it's quite sad that you decided to delete all the original comments going against you and reexplaining what went down within your 'apology', which was 95% calling out rather than talking about the cause of the whole uprising. Nonetheless, here was my original reply, just so everybody who stumbles across this post can see the reply from somebody who's viewed it from both sides. The original message was, as follows:

'Hey Red,

I hope you're managing amidst everything that's been going on. I know you've been through a lot recently, and I hate to add to the messages you've been receiving. However, there are some things that I really need to talk to you about.

Over the past few days — even years — I've noticed some things that really concern me. It feels like there's been a lot of blame unfairly placed on certain individuals within your community, which is incredibly damaging, especially when it unfairly paints others in a negative light. I understand you've been trying to address the situation with Crimson, but the approach taken hasn't been effective and has caused more harm than good.

In terms of the Crimson drama, I think it could have been handled more sensibly. Consulting with Laci and others involved would have been beneficial before making the decision to introduce Crimson back to the server. When you were writing your explanation, which I know was rushed, you should have stepped back and consulted for longer - I know you felt pressured, but.. you needed to give yourself time to handle it.

With the screenshots, too - they were only censored to the point of concealing most of the users involved to keep the MINORS safely out of the evidence, and yet you continued to banter on about how they were censored and unable to interpret what happened. As well, you tampered with evidence when you sent a screenshot, CUTTING OUT the part where Laci mentioned they could give you the evidence uncensored if you asked, yet you continued to complain.

On the topic of minors, you name dropped SEVERAL in your apology. Do you know how endangering or scary that can be? It's insane that you felt the need to name anybody involved to get people off your back.

There's also Sardonyx - I don't know if you'll share this with your patreons but, if you do, hello Sardonyx. They casually aggravate people, make NSFW conversation in YOUR SFW server, and you still allow them to pursue in such a way. They continued to temper people after the initial Crimson argument and started their own, which could have been avoided if you had muted both persons involved (rather than banning everybody against Sardonyx) and asked for them to calm down and explain their conflict in dms.

Also the Bunnybel issue - I know the topic was discussed by people banned, but there's also the factor that neither you, nor your mods stepped in to stop it. Matter of fact, you contributed to it, and everybody went along with it as a fun easter event of drawing your two main protagonists in these outfits that, when looked at closer, actually have a much more terrible implication. You should have handled this earlier, rather than blaming it on somebody and ranting about how it's all their fault and they're in the wrong.

Again with Laci, too - you outright blaming her for everything that has occurred is terrible. Whilst that may be what you see in this whole confrontation, in truth, it really isn't anything like that, Red. Saying that everybody else involved were her 'lackeys' and 'twisted around her finger' was an incompetent, foolish way of pinning all these hardships on her. Some people involved, including me, had barely spoken to Laci prior, because a lot of people cared about the fact that YOU had unbanned a potentially alleged pedophile back into your server full of minors. I know it doesn't seem like everybody cared, but we all did, otherwise we wouldn't have started this whole 'riot' thing or whatever to go against it. I surely cared, considering I have been at the face of two pedophiles sending me unsettling, inappropriate images, and I know that it is hard to reach out to somebody or stop them when they shrug it off so nonchalantly.

Lastly, I think it's hypocritical you spoke about how certain groups were stalker-ish and stealing messages from a patreon chat, despite you taking a chat from private servers and dms. The behaviour is equal, is it not? You used your influence to alter certain texts and take them out of context, and the other groups simply took what you said and proved that you, and unpunished, favourited people who have been held dearly, have done terrible things yourself.

I understand that this whole thing has been overwhelming for you, Red, but I believe that there was a real need for you to approach each situation differently, and not to compile everything into an 'apology' that is 5% apology, and 95% calling out people and altering the blame to be put on them. I think that the tactics you used were poor, and I hope that you do figure out something better in the future.

Take care, and I'm here if you'd like to discuss this any further.

Best regards,

A bystander.' And the second reply I made, aimed at one of her patreons (or moderators? who knows.) who put a whole lot of shit behind a paywall and then continued to support her. Aha, Debobble, if it wasn't illegal, I'd show the whole world you trying to make a fake screenshot of Laci 'configurating her hate schemes', and how terribly it was done. 'Hello!

I hope you're having a joyous, maybe even 'whimsical' day!

A lot of things that have occurred recently are the fault of both 'sides' (if we can call them that. Not 'Laci's lackeys' or 'Clique 1 and 2'.) and I think I should refer to the way that this has been dealt with again. 

Yes, the server was owned by somebody different who was capable of banning Crimson, and it was intended for less SFW purposes, but I think Crimson went outright too far in a predatory way. They put a teenage oc with an adult oc, which is pedophilic behaviour, and sent several overly NSFW images. I assume that this chat was intended for 'implied sexual circumstances', rather than overly perverse, but I could be wrong. I agree in the fact that something should have been done, and I approve of Laci's initial reaching out, but I don't approve of the way Red banned them for as little as they did.

As I like to say; 4 months, 4 minors. You afforded Crimson a month for each minor they influenced in such a predatory way, and I think the time should have been extended.

Might I also add, these screenshots were not 'heavily' censored. They were censored for the safety of the minors and other persons involved and, yet.. Red seems to be content with name dropping every minor who was involved. So much for the safety of her members!

AND I have more to add, which I trust you to hand over to Red for me since you seem content to do that quite often for her - do you mind reminding her and the entire patreon and mod chat that Crimson (and Red, I'm pretty sure) knew the age of one 12 year old, who we might call 'Green'. They continued to share NSFW things to them, including making jokes about what I assume was a 'vibrator in public'. How SFW for a child! Crimson is VERY innocent.

I agree that all of this has gotten out of hand, but both responses, from Red, the moderation team, and the patreon chat against the groups banned for involving themselves, but I wouldn't consider it a mob. Both sides had good intentions, it's just the way Red has gone about it - framing others for her mistakes and outright dismissing people for being concerned about the safety, that has made this come to such a volatile level.

And the whole, breaking several TOS, and a law? If thats what we're doing, what are you doing? Leaking private messages, encouraging predatory behaviour, endangering minors, leaking names which could result in a witch hunt from Red's expanse following? Oh dear..

How volatile.

Best regards,

A bystander.' Red, every little detail you have undergone is such a negative, unredeemable smidge to this massive whiteboard of what you could do. Instead of handling this like the adult, you undertake criticism harshly, which is detrimental considering you are somebody who has been writing for years, which means that you should have matured and adapted to take this kinds of things. You could have taken a month, maybe two, maybe three, to explain the whole Crimson thing - it would have been much less detrimental to yourself, and your community. You absolutely wrecked every second, third, fourth, fifth chance people were tempted to give you with every detail that went in to making sure that YOU felt like you had to be right - name dropping, which could lead to witch hunting with your massive following, especially since the people were minors and specifically requested you keep their names out of it. You allowed an alleged, potential predator back into your server without consulting it with victims - and don't get me started on the whole 'Crimson didn't know!', they knew at least one of them, and still continued. You pinned the blame on Laci, on another person (who has asked me not to say their name and, like the respectful person I am, will not be namedropping. That doesn't seem like a familiar concept to you, does it?) and you keep all these little dirty secrets behind a paywall. Red, in the most respectfully disrespectful way, grow up and learn to be better. You spout all this bull, every little detail and, when it backfires, you cower into a corner, guilt trip, manipulate, and eventually resort to the potential physical or mental harm of other people. It needs to stop. The icing on the cake, to all of this? YOU, as the 'mature adult that would never stand for pedophilic behaviour, that loves their audience, that has a server full of minors', that YOU would delete messages explaining the situation in a different point of view. You don't want your vast following to see these and think, 'huh, maybe Red isn't as good as I thought they were?', well they aren't. I don't know if people will see this but, sincerely, I hope Red, Flynn, DeBobble, the patreons, the moderators, and all of the discord and general following of Nevermore and RnF know that what Red spouts isn't necessarily all true.

Kind regards, A bystander.

[starlightshadowsworld]

So in Season 5 episode 2 when Fukuchi is at the UN there’s a dude fanboying over his adventures.

He lists several of them off and one of them is “the elimination of hundreds of thousands of subjects of the werecreature experiments in the republic of Kenia.”

Werecreature experiments

We know of one werecreature and we also know he was experimented on as a child. Granted Shibusawa seemed like he was doing his own thing for Fyodor.

So this could’ve been a separated thing or related but either way it has to have involved Atsushi, right?

You don’t just throw out the phrase ‘werecreature experiments’ and not have it be related to the only werecreature in the show.

Especially not the main character.

And while it was the orphanage, we know Atsushi has survived multiple attempts on his life as a child.

As for Fukuchi he was planning to kill him on that boat prior to Akutagawa showing up. And then tried to convince Akutagawa to kill Atsushi.

Perhaps to finish the job he started all those years ago.

If Atsushi was involved in these experiments his parents could’ve also been test subjects as other weretigers. But they could’ve also been scientists.

And that’s what the headmaster was referring to when he said by the ‘this doesn’t even count as abuse when compared to your parents.’

Like yeah im making you nail your own foot to the floor but at least I didn’t make you a monster. Because yeah these these experiments could’ve been what gave him his ability in the first place.

Maybe Atsushi was one of if not the only successful experiment. Fyodor wants him alive after all and him being the guide is because of his ability.

Atsushi was abandoned inside a rubbish bag in a bin by his parents. Perhaps the place was attacked by Fukuchi and they were trying to hide Atsushi.

Even if Atsushi wasn’t apart of these experiments, if there were any other weretigers it seems like Fukuchi killed them.

He’s the only werecreature and that’s why the police and the Agency (up until they met Atsushi) thought Atsushi was a normal tiger during his rampage. No one immediately considered he was a werecreature, an ability user because their aren’t any.

As for the location, they may have meant Kenya but it’s possible this place is made up for bsd. It wouldn’t be the first time so there’s also that.

Also that conversation said that many of Fyodor’s exploits were made into movies so just imagine Atsushi having movie night with the Agency and finding this all out.

If his parents were scientists and involved with this then it’s fair to assume Atsushi remembers what they did to him. Given his reaction to Fitzgerald talking about them.

But given his initial trust of Fukuchi i don’t think he knows about his involvement.

Fuck this man really decided he was going to take everyone away from Atsushi, didn’t he?

Shoutout to the wonderful @crowscadence for letting me know about this because I had no idea this was said.

This is now going to rot in my brain for the foreseeable future because what the fuck?! Not to mention the casualness of which this information was delivered.

[estellardreams]

The Wilted Flower

(For the Battle Nexus AU by @purble-turble, specifically with the Fallen King Red and Demon King MK interpretation)

Three months of peace.

So much of the Battle Nexus was in peace because both demon kings had vanished.

After their fight in the arena, and DKMK startling EVERYONE by throwing down the once nearly invincible demon king Red. Jin and Yin confirmed it, and the monkey king swept the former king into his arms and whisked him away... Leaving Prisoner Red with Prisoner MK.

Speaking of those two, they hit it off pretty well. Which was also quite surprising considering PMK is not very comfortable around the Red's besides a select few. So having one who seems a lot more like him as a friend let them connect.

But today, as Jin and Yin had stated that both King's would be returning to this Nexus. Everyone seemingly braced for them to arrive, not sure what to expect. After all it had been so long since they've shown themselves.

Life resumed as usual in the Nexus after that announcement, trying to avoid making such a big deal out of this!

But it was hard to ignore when one Red Son, hair flopped over, flowers tangled into the strands face planted onto a table after sitting down.

"Oh, hello! What can I order for you?" Jin asked, greeting the newcomer.

TT Red paused, shifting in his seat a little.

Why did this version feel so... Familiar...?

"Just... Water..." he mumbled.

"On it!" he headed to the bar, got passed a glass of water, and brought it over to the Red.

He didn't even lift his head up to take it, just grabbing onto the cup. He shifted it slightly closer towards him before stopping.

"So... How's life treating you?" TT Red piped up.

The Red Son shifted his gaze towards TT Red, his eyes seemingly hollow, drained of energy.

TT Red paused, studying over his appearance.

Soft yellow and green wrap around clothing, draped nicely over him. The flowers were in abundance, but his usual firey red shade of hair was dulled from what appeared so much dirt in it.

"Wait a second... Are you...?"

"Yes. Yes it's me, can you just... I'm not in the mood, past me."

TT Red gasped. "King Red! Wow, uh... Aheh. You're looking rather..."

"... Unflattering?"

He stopped. "What...?"

King Red sighed. "Go on, you can say it... King MK pampers me so much to make up for such... Words."

"Are you okay? You seem distraught." Prince Red stepped in

"I'm fine." King Red gripped his glass tightly. He stared at the cup in his grasp before pushing it away from him.

"Well... You got what was coming to you." TT Red remarked.

"Time Travel!" Prince Red hissed.

"What? Am I not allowed to say that?"

"Look, I don't like King Red just as much as the next guy but... He's miserable! Do you think he's learnt his lesson or-"

"I can hear you two." King Red muttered.

"Oh, ah, sorry! Lemme just..." Prince pulled Time Travel away from the table.

"How about we just... Try to find some answers? See how he's doing and then we can decide whether or not he's exhausted or actually suffering." he whispered.

"And if he is suffering we'll just let him, right?" TT Red whispered back.

Prince stared at him flatly.

"What? Best case scenario he leaves us alone for good!"

"No! Best case scenario is reformation! Just let me do most of the talking, okay?"

Prince stepped back from TT Red, approaching the table as casually as possible.

"So... King Red. How's life going with King MK? Got anything... Fun or interesting happening?" he asked, wincing a little at trying to initiate this conversation.

King Red sighed, pushing himself up from his original position.

"... No."

"Oh. Why not, if I may ask?"

"I've been stuck on that island for a year."

"A year?!-" TT Red immediately covered Prince's mouth.

"Wait, hold on. It's only been three months here, but your world has time move faster?!" he asked.

"... Yes."

"I'm just gonna... Grab a drink. This may take a while." Prince slipped out of his seat and up to the bar.

"I see you got a lot of flowers. Does MK do that often to you?" TT Red asked.

"Yes, and I can just... Augh! I can never get them out of my hair! Or fix myself up properly anymore!" King Red snapped, digging his fingers into his hair, trying to rip out the flowers and twigs.

"The jungle is so lonely... I hate it. I wanna go back to my world already but without anyone to control me like this..." he grumbled, face down on the table.

TT Red sipped on his pomegranate shake. "Now you know how your MK feels."

"Yes. Yes, I'm aware of how he feels I've felt like this for a while can you just not rub it in my face right now?! It's degrading!"

"You're not so high and mighty without your crown. Or your gown. Or your fortress. Or-"

"Time Travel, that's enough." Prince returned to the table, setting down his strawberry orange drink.

"Oh, my gloriosa!" a voice sang.

TT Red wasn't sure if he imagined it, but did King Red... Tense up?

"How's my sweetheart?" King MK strolled in, sweeping him off his seat and into his arms.

"Come on, this place is getting boring. Nice seeing you all again!" the monkey chirped, carrying the former king away and out of the room.

TT Red and Prince Red paused, watching the two leave the room as the other Red's backed off from them.

"... Okay, I hate to say it. But we need to help him." Prince said after a moment.

"Oh, absolutely not! He deserves all that's been brought to him! What about the MK's, they'd all be scared of him again once he's out of King MK's grasp!" TT Red snapped back.

"Sure, but also consider the fact that he seems... Scared, of this MK. He would've normally been leaning into his touch, like how he probably did with the other MK's in the past. But now? He just seems... Tense, especially around King Red."

"... Are you literally suggesting universe jumping to there's to rescue him?"

"I can't just let someone suffer like that! And I know you feel the same!"

"I do, but King Red's the exception. I'm not saving someone who put themselves into this situation by his own choice."

Prince frowned. "... Then by your ridiculous notions of us becoming that 'monster', you're no different."

TT Red froze, his eyes widening. He stepped back, noticing the other variants staring at them.

Judging him.

Oh... What was wrong with him?!

His job was to prevent such horrible futures from happening... And if this is one of those futures, then he's being a horrible person all over again!

TT Red bolted out of the building, bursting through the doors. He panted, trying to catch his breath.

"So... Fallen King Red's got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" Villain MK remarked, leaning on a wall as he cracked open his soda.

"Not now, VMK. I... I need to think." TT Red buried his face in his hands.

"But isn't this a good thing? Look, he may be miserable but we're now free from both of them! So why not let him stay like that forever?"

"... Forever is a long time." Red mumbled.

"I know it is! But just think... The MK's wouldn't get as hurt anymore, and the only one we gotta worry about is Yan MK but he's already being dealt with and we can handle it so it's fine."

"No, it's... Its not fine! I... I am falling back into the same trap that king red did if I'm still like this..." Red stumbled back, panicking a little. He gripped the sides of his hair tightly, taking in a shaky breath.

"One, calm yourself. Two, comfort plush." VMK blew on his hair, summoning a Fluttershy doll again.

"And third, you're already proving yourself to not be like that monster in so many ways! Be proud of yourself!"

"But I can't be! I can't be like him, period!"

"... That's not possible without literally getting rid of yourself and living a lie. And I get it... We're not the traditional norm of the others, and that's totally okay! What you gotta focus on, Red, is what you think is right in this situation. Your choice."

Red paused, staring down at the doll in his hands. He glanced back up at the open, swirling gateway, then at Villain MK.

"... I should help him, but I don't want to."

"Then what do you wanna do?"

TT Red sighed. "If... If I can reach some sort of agreement with king red for him to stop chasing after the MK's, then I'll work with Prince Red to free him from King Red."

"And if he doesn't?"

"Then I'll just leave him. He deserves this, anyway." he clutched the plush tightly.

"Good, good. Knew you'd make the right choice." VMK patted him on the back.

[jukkariart]

Shocking to absolutely everyone except for Velu, I actually managed to write something! Just a bit of Alectris and Lucanis fluff about cooking, poisons and absolute lack of self-preservation instinct when hungry.

It is also posted on AO3: <here>.

Alectris found her way back to the Lighthouse at what she'd assumed was early evening. She made her way through the library and realized that the place was eerily quiet. Normally there would be some hushed conversations going on or at least some shuffling coming from either Taash or Emmrich’s rooms. With no one in sight, she made her way towards the hidden entrance in the wall leading to a side room. 

Veryl's things were neatly arranged, but the man himself was conspicuously absent - just like everyone else. She emerged in the courtyard, suddenly feeling alien and unwelcoming with not even Assan in sight and wondered if she’d taken the wrong Eluvian and stumbled into an alternate Lighthouse.

A whiff of antivan cooking coming from the far side had suggested however, that maybe she simply arrived late for dinner. Since Lucanis and Bellara announced taking over the reins of the kitchen, nobody seemed to miss the shared meals anymore. 

She peeked into the kitchen only to find it empty if not for Lucanis who appeared to have yet another argument with Spite.

"No." The Crow sounded a lot more tired than annoyed. He was facing away from the door, by the tension in his shoulder she assumed that whatever dish he was working on was giving him more trouble than he expected. 

"Trust me, no. We can't taste the pasta by putting our hand into the pot with boiling water. " Spite learning about the limits of human experience. She guessed it was an improvement from their initial interactions. 

"Now that is some solid advice right here" she agreed walking in, scanning the kitchen in search of the other members of the Veilguard "Have I missed any party invitations? Where is everyone?" Lucanis looked up at her from above the stove, mixing some sort of sauce with more intention than seemed necessary.

"Rook is out in Arlathan with Bellara and Davrin. Something about a Veil Jumper, floating and needing Assan's help." he answered, focusing again on the concoction on the stove. "Neve took Veryl to Minrathous, to help her with case notes. Emmrich and Manfred are attending to some last moment preparations in the Necropolis and Taash took Lace drinking with the Lords testing if Harding's new stone powers make her more resistant to alcohol." He hesitated for a moment like there was something more he wanted to say but stopped himself before continuing.

"Right. Didn't get the memo that you wanted to cook alone. I'll go find myself somewhere else to be" she's made half a step back towards the kitchen door "Unless you need an experimental nug to test that thing you're making"

Lucanis blinked slowly, his eyes still fixed on the simmering sauce, the sharp smell of hot peppers filling the air. It didn’t cross his mind she’d offer to try whatever he was cooking without asking any questions first. 

“Ah, thank you, but you might want to skip this one, Tris.” He shook his head finally, putting all the effort he could into sounding casual “I’m testing some suggestions Bellara gave me, this might turn out really poorly.” “Well, what else are nugs for, if not sacrifice in the name of cooking?” Alectris laughed, shrugging her arms as she took a spot at the table “Come on, it smells great and I’m starving, you can’t just leave me hanging, can you?” He had to admit, despite the liberties taken in the recipe it did pass the initial sniff test. Which only made it harder to let her down gently without admitting what he was working on. And Alectris never showed herself to be easy to shake off. 

“The suggestions were about masking flavors. In this case masking the taste of deathroot extract to be specific.” Lucanis clarified hesitantly, his voice slightly clipped as if he was unhappy about letting her in on the secret. He had hoped to avoid any questions about poisons even existing in the vicinity of the kitchen. “Poison? Really?” She tilted her head, her eyes narrowing slightly and the crow felt his stomach turn. 

“You alway struck me as an honest type.” a small smile formed on her lips as she continued  “You know, knives and swords and garrotes, not poisons in a glass of wine.”

“Don’t let Viago hear that.” he chuckled, letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. “Oh? Would he try to poison me?” Alectris straightened out in the chair with amusement painted on her face. She was surely going to try ribbing Viago about poisons the next time she got a chance, Lucanis realized. 

“No, but he might give you a long winded speech and at least 17 reasons why the use of poison is just as honest and professional as knives. He’s very… sensitive on this topic” It may have happened that such a comment slipped out of his mouth once or twice in the past. The first one was entirely accidental, the other… Well, as bets lost to Illario went, that was not the worst outcome. 

“Sounds like he just hopes you poison yourself while he talks.“ 

“I wouldn’t put it past him” He nodded, stirring the mixture again, still not entirely happy about the texture. The kitchen felt silent, the fire crackling softly and the metallic clanking of a spoon on the pan. Alectris sloped down in the chair crossing her arms and watching Lucanis with a slightly furrowed brow. 

“So, how will you know if you masked the flavor if no one's gonna eat it?” Alectris asked him finally when the silence stretched out too long. There was a glint in her eye and the tone of her voice only suggested curiosity “Are you trying to poison Davrin?” 

“I’m gonna eat it” the assassin corrected. He would not entertain a thought of actually hurting the Warden. Teasing him about it however, that would be a different topic entirely. “No!” she sat up straight immediately “Don’t worry I have antivenom, things are not looking that bleak.” he joked, but realized it may not land as well as he hoped with someone who was not raised a Crow “ “Wouldn’t be able to write down the outcomes either” 

“Ah, so I can eat it.” she grinned happily, which was not the reaction Lucanis was anticipating. “It’s poisoned” he repeated slowly, somewhat unsure if she was teasing him or was serious or if it was something else entirely. “You just said you have antivenin!” Mage protested with a nonchalance appropriate only to someone who rarely hears no. Whether it was by her birthright or her insistent nature he wasn’t sure. Clearly, it worked like a charm and was used often. “If it’s good enough for you, it’ll be good enough for me” 

“Alectris, this is a really bad idea” he knew her well enough by now to know that arguing would only make her dig her heels in and insist further. “Come on, I could eat a dracolisk.” she laughed, waving her hands “And you’ll get a second opinion. Everybody wins!”

He allowed himself a defeated sigh, taking the pan off the heat and placing it aside. He caught her stare for a moment looking for any signs of hesitation or discomfort on her part but the mage appeared perfectly content with the situation. He looked away as he made way to the back of the kitchen to retrieve the antidotes, glad he had stocked up recently. He certainly didn’t expect to share this particular experience. 

“Last moment to change your mind” Lucanis returned from the pantry carrying two small vials with murky, brownish liquid inside. In the fireplace light she could see the sediment swirl inside making her wonder if he was about to make her drink old swamp water. 

“There really are easier ways to kill me Luc” she insisted again, rising up for her chair to reach for one of them without hesitation. “There’s no need for theatrics”

Their hands brushed as she snatched the bottle from his grasp. Lucanis froze for a split second and Alectris hoped that he hadn’t noticed her face turning at least a shade redder. She’d blame it on the fire if he did. 

“I know.” the words escaped him before he could really think them through. “It is also not what I’m trying to do.” he added fast realizing how this must have sounded, but was met only with a wide grin and not a hint of worry. 

“Then I’ve nothing to worry about, do I?” Mage uncorked the mixture and raised a little toast with it. He returned the gesture suppressing the urge to reach over and stop her. Of course, she wouldn’t listen. Alectris never backed down from anything, even when she probably should. He sighed, wondering—not for the first time—how much trouble she would’ve been as a Crow. They both drank the liquid like it was a shot of the worst spirit in a shady tavern. It left a sandy feeling in the mouth and burned in the back of the throat. Lucanis coughed to cover his reaction, but couldn’t hide a smirk when he watched Alectris scrunch her nose and shake making a disgusted face. She clicked her tongue a few times like she was trying to get rid of the taste but failed. 

“Tastes like a morning in Minrathous” she finally managed to grumble, her face still sour and voice slightly raspy. Lucanis raised an eyebrow, his lips twitching.

“What could you mean by that?” He took the bottle from the table and tossed it into a small bucket filled with soapy water standing in the corner of the room. “Somewhat dump and muddy, surely fishy and vaguely depressing” she clarified, sounding a bit more sure than before. He kept an eye on her as she grunted and shifted in the chair while he was splitting the pasta and poisoned arrabbiata on two plates. 

“Didn’t think you’re a poetic type” Lucanis admitted, placing the plates on the table with a soft clink. 

“I’m not” Alectris shook her head looking slightly offended. She stabbed the dish with a fork a few times, as if she was trying to make sure it wouldn't attempt biting her back. 

“Maybe that’s why it’s weirdly accurate” Crow murmured looking judgingly at his own plate, a cloud of steam rising from it. It still smelled alright and looked completely ordinary. He only hoped it tasted as 

“Best neither V nor Neve ever hear this one” mage laughed while studying the pasta carefully, neither of them were fully eager to eat now that it came to it.  “Do I want to know what one makes an antidote for deathroot from?” she asked finally as if she wanted to delay the inevitable. Lucanis had to fight a reflex to remind her, she didn’t actually have to try it. 

“Not before eating” he said instead taking a deep breath wondering if the whole endeavour will pay out. 

“Great. A mystery for later then.” she nodded and bit down on the pasta before she could change her mind. For a moment nothing happened and then she burst out in a coughing fit, her eyes watering. Lucanis nearly jumped out of his chair, but she waved him away with an uncoordinated gesture as she fought to get through the bite while both laughing and crying.  

“I think it might be spiced up for Taash” she managed to get out after a few minutes and a glass of cold water that Lucanis offered “Might want to calm down with the peppers next time” 

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 5 ⤍ first meeting

you sat in the car on the way to the hangout your friends have planned. you nervously played with your phone on the way there.

you weren't the best at keeping conversations going with new people so you were thankful that friends would be there to make it easier. you had a fear of embarrassing yourself, especially because there wasn't a camera, and you couldn't call it content.

this is why you only had a few select friends that you were close with. all of which happened to be more of the social type, like right now for example.

you were cut out of your thoughts by yujin hitting your shoulder making you dramatically grab it and exclaim, "my arm?!" before giving her a 'why the fuck did you do that' look.

"are you done daydreaming? we're here" yujin responded.

"you could've tapped me" you said as you grabbed your things before getting out of the car.

"i did! you just ignored me"

"maybe because i don't respond to dumbasses like you"

"you're the dumbass" yujin retorted.

"i love how my two favorite people just get along so well" wonyoung said sarcastically coming in between the two of you and wrapping her arms around the both of you as y'all continued walking.

"she started it" yujin mumbled.

"you literally tried to attack me while i was distracted"

"your fault" she shrugged in response.

you all walked into the cafe and yujin called chaewon to figure out where they were.

you looked around the cafe trying to calm yourself down and also maybe find an escape route just in case.

wonyoung noticed your nerves and tried to comfort you by rubbing her hand up and down your arm, "don't be nervous"

"my heart is beating so fast right now" you told her.

"you can hold onto me if you need to" wonyoung grabbed your hand making you instantly calm down a little bit.

"thanks"

"they're almost here, they're like two stores down" yujin said as she put her phone into her pocket.

once they made it to the cafe you all greeted each other casually, well everyone except you and kazuha. as you finally let go of wonyoung's hand to go greet kazuha sakura stopped you.

"kazuha is really excited about meeting you" sakura whispered to you with a smile on her face.

everybody stood around in a small circle surrounding you and kazuha.

"why are y'all so dramatic" you chuckled before looking at kazuha.

you smiled at her with a hint of nervousness, "hey kazuha"

"hi y/n" she greeted back awkwardly playing with her hands.

"should we hug or something? or would shaking hands be better?" you asked.

"hugging should be fine" she shrugged.

kazuha stepped closer and wrapped her arms around your neck, and you reciprocated wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

the hug didn't last as long as the two of you would have liked because eventually chaewon broke the two of you up, "okay, okay, stop flirting. let's find somewhere to sit"

once you were all settled and ordered drinks and a small dessert there was an awkward silence.

"why is nobody talking? most of us know each other" sakura said.

"so… how's the weather?" you asked awkwardly.

chaewon and yunjin immediately bust out laughing while wonyoung and sakura shook their heads.

"you two talk we'll just watch" yujin finally said once she stopped laughing.

"wouldn't that be even more awkward?" you turned to glare at her.

"we could play one of those get to know you games" wonyoung suggested.

"see an actual good suggestion, take notes yujin"

yujin rolled her eyes at you before taking the initiative to ask a question, "would you rather lose the ability to read or speak?"

"reading. i need to verbally express my displeasure" chaewon responded.

"speaking. i read too much to lose my ability to read"

"things are advanced nowadays. you could just have it read out" sakura added in.

"but it's not the same" wonyoung said.

"definitely reading as long as you can hear it'll be fine" kazuha said.

"you're right. i agree" you said after thinking about it.

wonyoung asked the next question, "would you rather lose all of your past memories or not be able to make new ones?"

"that's like very deep" chaewon said.

"lose the past. what's the point of living if you're not making new memories" sakura answered first.

"losing all the past memories would be hard though because there's nothing to look back on" yujin said.

"like even if you had it bad you have to have at least one happy moment that pushed you through it all" you said.

"but if you lose future memories then you'll be forever stuck in the past" kazuha said.

"maybe it is the future" you changed your answer after further consideration once again.

"would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?" chaewon asked.

"oh read mines for sure. imagine how cool it would be knowing what everyone thinks about me" you answered first.

"i don't wanna know what everyone thinks about me" wonyoung said and sakura agreed.

"teleporting would save so much time, the days of being late will never happen again" kazuha said.

"that is true!" you agreed changing your opinion once again, "yeah i would teleport"

"please grow a backbone y/n. you can't just change your answer because of kazuha every time" yujin told you.

"she's a strong debater and keeps convincing me otherwise" you shrugged defending your switching up.

you all did some more would you rather questions and debated on them until everybody finished their drinks and desserts.

when everybody was getting ready to leave when you were pulled to the side by kazuha who played with her hands nervously, "you wanna play a game together tonight, just the two of us?"

"oh yeah. it'll be better without them" you told her making her visibly relax.

"can i have your number so we can text later?" kazuha asked as she pulled out her phone and handed it to you.

you put your number in and handed it back to her, "i'm better at interacting with people over the phone, so it won't be as awkward"

kazuha chuckled, "we'll both be better tonight"

after the conversation, you two made it back to your groups, and everybody said their goodbyes and you took your leave with yujin and wonyoung.

"i knew it was gonna be awkward but not that awkward" wonyoung said.

"we're gonna work on it" you covered your face remembering the events that happened earlier.

"i hope so because that'll make a very bad video" yujin said.

once you made it into the car you got a text from kazuha.

"why are you smiling at your phone so hard" yujin asked you trying to take a look at it.

you quickly closed and locked your phone, turning it away from her, "nobody. i was on twitter"

"ohh you're texting kazuha" yujin laughed.

"hmm?" you faked ignorance.

"we literally just left, what could you two even be talking about?"

"none of your business" you responded.

yujin playfully rolled her eyes at you, "i'll remember that"

this took me so long to write and for what! not my best work but hope you enjoyed it!

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[simping4villains]

As requested, here’s the fourth chapter of my latest Shiggy fic, Losing Streak. I update more regularly on Wattpad and ao3, so check there for more chapters! I’m also happy to take requests so dm me if you’ve got one <3

~~~~~

Warning: Sexual content, non-con elements

   You decided to skip the rest of your classes that day. It wasn't like you could've actually focused anyway. You received a few concerned replies from your professors after your initial email letting them know you'd be absent. It wasn't like you to miss a lecture.

   You laid in bed for the rest of the afternoon. You didn't even bother getting up to turn a light on once the sun had set, instead letting your bedroom remain dimly lit by the blue light of your phone as you aimlessly scrolled through social media. It was a pathetic attempt to try and distract yourself from what you'd be doing later that night.

   No matter how many hair tutorials and life hack videos you watched, you still couldn't shake the questions that bounced around inside your head. How did those photos come into existence? How could you stop them from being spread? And, most importantly, was there a way to do it without having to fuck Shigaraki?

   You weren't sure what was worse: the thought of having sex with him or the very real possibility that you might've done it already. That was what the photos led you to believe, anyway.

   A knock sounded at your door. You didn't respond, but Hana let herself in anyway.

   "You're still in bed? You should be getting ready."

   She was right. You had to leave soon. Though it wasn't like Shigaraki struck you as the kind of guy who'd care if you put any effort into your appearance or not. He had demanded a blowjob from you while you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, after all.

   "The guys are going to be here soon."

   You looked up at her, confused. "The guys?"

   "Oh my god. Don't tell me you forgot?"

   "What?"

   "The party? The one we're hosting in like twenty minutes?"

   "Party? I thought it was just the two teams coming over."

   "It is, but you know how the guys can get."'

   You did, which is exactly why you hadn't wanted them in your home in the first place. At least this meant your time with Shigaraki would have a silver lining—that you would have an excuse to miss all the 'fun.'

   "I won't be around tonight," you told her.

   "What? But when I asked the other day you said you were free. What are you doing?"

   "I'm supposed to meet up with Shigaraki."

   You hoped you'd said it casually enough that she'd connect a different set of dots and think the two of you were just studying. She took the bait.

   "On a Friday night? Just cancel! We have so much time left for those stupid projects anyway."

   "I can't. It's important."

   "More important than bonding with your team? Don't you want to make captain next year?"

   You did. Hana was a year above you, and before she graduated she'd be giving the coach her recommendation for who she thought should take her place. You couldn't imagine she'd recommend anyone but you—she knew how strong your work ethic was—still, her frustration was palpable.

   You bit your cheek, wondering how lenient Shigaraki might be. "I mean, I can ask him if he's alright with rescheduling."

   "Let me know what he says," she called over her shoulder as she left, closing your door again.

   You pulled up your conversation with him on your phone.

You: "Hey, I forgot I have a team thing tonight. . ."

   His response was immediate.

Shigaraki: "Skip it."

You: "Can't we just reschedule?"

Shigaraki: "I don't like to be kept waiting."

You: "What's one more day?"

Shigaraki: "What's 5,000 people seeing your tits?"

You: "Fine."

Shigaraki: "Don't be late."

   You wanted to push back and write 'Or what?' but you worried he'd take it as a challenge to make your night hell. So instead, you rolled out of bed, grabbed your bag, and headed downstairs. Hana, Akiko, and your other roommate, Jin, were all in the living room, dressed in their usual party attire of ripped jeans and crop tops. They were pulling out packages of red solo cups and setting up a beer pong table.

   "That doesn't look like a party outfit," Jin joked as she saw you.

   You hadn't bothered changing or anything. You were still in the same hoodie and sweatpants you'd thrown on in a rush that morning.

   Hana looked up at you and frowned. "I'm guessing this means you couldn't get out of it?"

   You nodded.

   "Wait, what?" Akiko asked, looking between the two of you. "Are you skipping out on tonight?"

   "Yeah, sorry."

   Hana turned to her. "She's ditching us for a boy."

   Akiko gasped. "No way! Y/n never dates! Who is it?"

   You rolled your eyes. "It's not like that at all."

   "It's Shigaraki," Hana said.

   Akiko's expression fell, going from excited to horrified in seconds.

   "We're just doing homework," you assured her. "It's not like I want to hang out with him."

   Hana shrugged. "Then don't."

   "Come on, cut her some slack," Jin said. "You know how she is about grades. Besides, I'm sure she already feels bad enough just missing out on the party."

   Honestly, you were glad to miss the party, and you had a feeling that Jin could tell, but you appreciated her sticking up for you nonetheless.

   "Well, there's always the next one," Hana conceded. "Don't work too hard."

   "Thanks," you smiled. "Have fun tonight. Tell the team I said 'hey.'"

   "Will do," she smiled back.

   They waved you off and you began your funeral march across campus. You shrugged against the chill of the air, once again having forgotten to grab your jacket on your way out of the house. At least earlier the sun had been out to help a bit, but it had set hours ago. You hated how short the days were in the fall.

   The address Shigaraki had given you was for an apartment building kind of down the block from the pub you'd stopped at the night before. You were a bit worried you wouldn't make it in time, but you knocked on his door with seven minutes to spare. To your surprise, he wasn't the one to answer. It was another boy with acne-scarred skin and spiky pink hair that pointed every which way.

   "Oh, sorry. I think I must have the wrong address."

   He looked at you with disbelief. "Are you Y/n?"

   "Yes."

   "Shiggs, she's here!" He called over his shoulder before stepping aside and gesturing for you to come in. Hesitantly, you did. "He's gaming, but you can just go in. His room is down there on the right." He pointed toward the end of the hallway.

   "Thanks."

   You followed his directions to Shigaraki's door. No response came when you knocked. Feeling uncertain, you looked back at the other boy to find him nodding and gesturing for you to go in.

   Taking a deep breath to collect yourself, you turned the knob. Immediately, you were met with a distinct smell—it was that of a typical college boy's dorm, only ten times worse. The air in the room felt incredibly stale and almost muggy. Shigaraki didn't look up when you came in. Like the other boy had said, he was busy gaming.

   "Hey," you greeted, shutting the door behind you.

   "Hey," he mumbled in response, not bothering to peel his eyes from the screen. "Gonna be a sec."

   You frowned. It pissed you off that he'd made such a fuss about you being on time, but here he was making you wait around. You threw your bag down and moved to stand next to him, crossing your arms over your chest. "You know you picked the time I was supposed to get here, right?"

   "I wasn't sure you'd actually show."

   You scoffed. "As if you gave me a choice."

   "Just have a seat. I'm almost done."

   You looked around the room for a spot to sit while you waited for him to finish. The only source of light was his computer screen, but even that was enough for you to be able to tell that his bedroom was an absolute mess. There were empty cans and piles of dirty clothes strewn about. Not only was his bed unmade, but it didn't even seem to have a sheet on it from what you could tell. Unless you felt like clearing a spot on the floor, there was nowhere to sit.

   "Uh, do you have an extra chair?"

   He didn't answer, just wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his lap. You yelped as you crashed into him.

   "Relax. You're fine. No need to be so dramatic."

   "This isn't what I meant when I asked for a chair, you know."

   "Yeah, I know," He replied casually, resting his head on your shoulder so that he could see the screen. "But isn't this more comfortable?"

   "No, it's not," you insisted, shifting to keep his knees from jabbing into your thighs.

   His breath hitched. "Mm maybe don't move around too much."

   You froze, panicking as you realized that it you could feel his cock getting harder beneath you.

   He couldn't help but smirk when he felt you stiffen. He loved getting to watch you squirm when you were uncomfortable. It was cute seeing you all flustered. To add to it, he leaned in and whispered, "Unless you're trying to start something. Which, in that case. . ."

   Pausing his game, he snaked one of his hands underneath your sweatshirt. When he reached your chest he snorted. "No bra? Damn, you really did want this, huh?"

   "No, I didn't!" you snapped. "I was just in a rush."

   The first time. Why hadn't you put one on before leaving that night though? You'd had all day. Maybe you figured there was no point. Deep down, you knew where the night was headed.

   He started kneading your chest. "This whole time I thought you were some uptight bitch, but really you love being treated like a little slut."

   "No, I do—ah!"

   He pinched one of your nipples.

   "Oh, you liked that?"

   You did, but you would absolutely never admit that to him. You shook your head.

   "Really? I don't believe you."

   He started rolling the sensitive bud between the tips of his fingers. You bit your tongue, trying to choke back a moan.

   "Come on, no need to hold back for me."

   His other hand reached up to your jaw, gripping it in a way that forced it open. You couldn't help the breathy moan that escaped as his fingers kept working your chest.

   He snickered. "I knew it."

   You hated him so much, but not as much as you hated your own body for actually enjoying what he was doing to you. Despite how much you tried to fight it, heat was quickly building between your legs as if you really did want him to be touching you like that. You couldn't let him think he was right about you.

   He shifted his legs so that one of them was wedged between yours. You knew what he wanted you to do before he even said it. "Ride."

   "W-What? No!"

   He yanked your head back by your hair so that he spoke directly in your ear. "I'm sorry, did it sound like a request? Fucking do it."

   Timidly, you rocked your hips. You couldn't stand the way your body welcomed the friction, taking pleasure in it.

   "Don't stop until you come," he said.

   It was meant to be humiliating. He wanted to break you down and make you feel worthless. So then why were you enjoying it so much? Each time your clothed cunt dragged against him felt like ecstasy—like your body was being given exactly what it needed.

   "That's it," he encouraged as another moan escaped you.

   His mouth found its way to your neck. The rough friction of his lips caused you to shiver. Of course, it didn't go unnoticed by Shigaraki. You could feel him smirking against your skin before he latched onto you, sucking a bruise just above your collar bone. He let go with a 'pop' and pulled away to admire his work, humming in satisfaction.

   "I'm going to mark you up so that everyone knows you're mine."

   "I'm n-not," you protested weakly, barely able to get the words past another moan.

   He only laughed at you. "Are you joking? Look at the way you're falling apart on my thigh. Are you telling me that you act like this for just anyone?"

   The truth was, he was right. The sex you'd had in the past was pretty vanilla. You wouldn't normally be taking orders and humiliating yourself the way you were now, and you'd never been this close to coming with someone else—So. Fucking. Close.—but it's not like it was because of him. You were the one doing all of the work, after all.

   "I asked you a question," he growled, grabbing your hair in a threat to pull again.

   "I—ngh—" You were seconds away from coming undone. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to pretend you were anywhere but in Shigaraki's bedroom, using him to get off.

   "Oh my god. Are you coming?" He asked, suddenly excited. "Are you actually fucking coming right now?"

   "Shut up."

   Even with your eyes closed, you could tell he didn't like that response. He grabbed your jaw, prying it open so he could shove his fingers in your mouth. You weren't sure if he wanted you to suck on them or if he just wanted to teach you a lesson for talking back, but either way, you bit them as you came. Surprisingly, he didn't complain.

   Before you had a chance to come back to earth, he told you to turn around. You didn't want to, but obeyed. He shifted so that you were straddling him. In this position, you could feel how hard he was. It made your stomach churn anxiously as you wondered how he'd make you deal with that.

   He moved his hand between the two of you, reaching to slide it under the waistband of your sweatpants. Your immediate reaction was to try to stop him. You grabbed his wrist, which only earned you a warning glare.

   You had to play by his rules if you wanted to save your reputation.

   You let go, feeling even more nauseous than before as his spindly fingers dipped under your panties, coming into contact with your clit. You drew in a sharp breath. You were still so sensitive.

   You hated the grin that spread across his face. "You really are a slut after all, huh? You're fucking soaked."

   You couldn't even respond because you were too busy proving his point, moaning as his fingers explored your folds, curling inside of you. Your hands found their way to his hair, lightly tugging as if begging for more. God, you'd never hated yourself so much in your life.

   His eyes watched your every reaction as his fingers explored deeper, dragging over that spot that made your brows knit together each time he pulled them out. He'd never really thought about kissing anyone until he met you—until you fell so perfectly into his lap. And here you were now, practically writhing from his every touch, not daring to refuse him. So why was he so nervous?

   You tugged at his hair again—god, he loved when you did that—and he decided that it meant you were trying to pull him closer. It meant that you wanted him. So, he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss you.

   It was sloppy. He didn't really know what he was doing and you didn't seem particularly interested in kissing back. He decided you were probably too distracted by what his hands were doing to actually try. He'd started hitting that spot your liked more aggressively. He wanted to be the one to make you come, to watch as you unraveled at his touch, and he could tell it was working. He kissed you deeper as he felt your walls starting to clench, happily swallowing your moans as they entered his mouth. For a moment it felt like maybe you had kissed him back, but he could have been imagining it.

   He pulled away so he could look at you. Your eyes were still closed and your breathing was heavy. A sense of pride bubbled in his chest knowing he'd actually managed to make you feel good.

   Maybe he wasn't such a hopeless virgin after all.

   You opened your eyes again to find him staring at you with wonder, like you were the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. Like you were something to be had. You were worried he was going to try to kiss you again, but instead he opened his mouth, tugged at your waistband, and said the last thing you wanted to hear.

   "Take these off so I can fuck you already."

[shanmthebrave]

“Are you ready, Leo~?”

“I’m always ready, Azucena.”

“Hehe, great!”

The literal definition of Yapper x Listener - An Leo x Azucena (AzuLeo appreciation/persuasive post) -TEKKEN 8-

~TW - HE/HIM LEO~

Like, Azucena would yap about coffee and Leo wouldn’t mind :)

His laugh and the way he casually answers Azucena that he’s from Germany WHILE IGNORING THE FACT THEY’RE IN A WAR-ZONE BECAUSE THAT DON’T MATTER WHEN YOUR FAV COFFEE CELEBRITY IS IN FRONT OF YOU

Bro she’s gonna send you coffee for being a fan, like a good celebrity doessss

Also he’s ignoring the fact for a moment that she’s with G-Corp…and also also asking at the end what her true purpose was…

Tbh to me Azu’s purpose with this sudden conversation was either:

She really wants to promote her coffee ☕️

Or she finds Leo interesting (Whether Platonic or Romantic)

Either way, we can leave it to imagination :) but I’d always pick red or both

CAN WE ALSO NOT IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE GAVE LEO A WINK AND BLEW A KISSSSS?! ACKKKKKK

Their only interaction in the story has implied that Leo already knew Azucena before their canonical encounter. Their lines during chapter 10 are proof contributing to this:

Observation from their Chapter 10 interaction:

An instant recognition, Leo’s got good observation skills. He’s kinda shocked that she’s with G-Corp. Understandable, since the people in G-Corp are pretty bad people, and seeing Azu, a person who he knows well for her coffee (only revealed after the fight), working for them, his shock becomes understandable.

Azucena’s motives confuse Leo, as she’s promoting her coffee by working with G-Corp, the company that well, 💀 his mom. Ouch.

Despite that, after their fight, Leo reveals that he’s a a fan of her coffee. AND AZUCENA FINDS HER FELLOW COFFEE DRINKER!

She offers to make a special order for him, and LEAVES THE FIGHT WITHOUT CONSIDERING ITS A WAR-ZONE, IS SHE EVEN OKAY?!

Well she is seen in the good ending so we can assume that yes she did make it

Leo is just standing there, confused as to what her real purpose was (which I covered in the point above)

Now, let’s talk about their lines during their fight and their meaning behind it, and compare this interaction to Leo’s fight with Jin:

When Leo successfully lands a hit, he says lines to try and diffuse the fight, rather then try to continue the counter offensive, unlike what he did with Jin, where his distrust in him is evident.

He says: “Open your eyes!” And “There’s no reason for us to fight!” Clearly showing that he doesn’t wanna fight Azucena. Rather, to convince her to stop siding with G-Corp.

Unlike his fight with Azucena, his interaction with Jin is a tad more hostile, as we know Jin did some pretty messed up stuff, which provoked Leo to initiate a spar with him. However, Azucena chose to fight Leo instead, when he clearly didn’t want to.

Now, let’s chat abt Azucena’s POV. She really just wants to promote her coffee, but also broaden her horizons for new blends, perhaps. Maybe find a fellow coffee enthusiast or a strong opponent (latter is the most likely motive).

When Azucena lands a hit, she only has one line: “Come on, let’s have some fun!” AS IF THIS ISNT A WAR ZONE AND ITS A FRIENDLY SPAR.

She seems to enjoy fighting Leo. This is especially shown when she gets defeated and flips back, exclaiming “You’re pretty good!” As if acknowledging his skill.

This pretty much shows that the entire time, she was fighting for fun, forgetting that she got herself into a war. It makes me laugh inside tbh. Haha.

Oh you think we’re done? Nope cuz we’re covering a lil bit about their character episodes too!

Leo meets Azucena in the final stage. Huh. What a coincidence.

There’s not much to say in this, other than the fact that both of them fight Yoshimitsu in the first stage. lol.

✨Special Interactions!!!!✨

Is there really any points we can make?! It’s so cute! And random…but funny and quite welcoming.

It’s not everyday someone encounters you and declares themself the coffee queen and tries to KICK you while you try to process everything (lol)

The pure surprise in Leo’s face never fails to make me laugh. Bro looks so perplexed and afraid 😭

And Azucena kicking him without warning is so random and even more silly, like give this man some time to process you woman 😂

When Azucena wins, she tells Leo that a good coffee takes time to brew, as if encouraging him that he’s doing great and he will get better, like a sparring partner that gives him feedback.

On Leo’s end, he’s awfully happy he won and says it’s time for a coffee break, something he says ONLY when he wins against Azucena. It’s as if fighting her reminds him of his liking for coffee.

Now, I will give my reasons why I love shipping Azucena and Leo together.

They have cute/canon interactions

The relationship has potential

Special intro pass

They relate over the one thing that got them together: COFFEE

Leo likes her products and is a big fan of her.

Azucena seems to enjoy his presence and wants to encourage him to get stronger.

Even tho Azucena sided (formerly) with G-Corp (not confirmed if she stopped working with them), Leo’s pretty chill and is willing to forgive her (Seeing as he forgave Jin, a literal war criminal)

It’s just cute. It’s so random, it’s adorable

It also just works in a way. They’re the literal definition of Yapper x Listener

She would yap to Leo about coffee and whatnot and he’d be so chill with her.

A cute, energetic girl with a shy, gentle boy trope, dominant girlies with gentle boys are just so funny and adorable to watch.

Welp, I can’t add any more photos and I’m running out of ideas, so in conclusion, the points I want to make is:

- AzuLeo is a very cute ship

- It’s hella under appreciated

- It may be random, but who says we can’t ship what we want and promote them?

- I love these two coffee lovers

- BANDAI NAMCO, GIVE THEM MORE SCENES TOGETGER, AND I WILL BE HAPPY. PLEASE!

- Azucena is overhated. Period.

- The creators of Tekken said we can call Leo any gender we want cuz Leo is…Leo. So I’ll call him a male.

I don’t rlly expect people to like the ship after this post. And that’s okay with me. As long as I’m happy and passionate posting what I like. ❤️

If you made it here, thanks for reading through my entire ship post haha. I hope you will start to like this ship or perhaps tolerate it if you hate it. Whatever happens, or if your opinion doesn’t change, at least I’ll be happy, cuz I spoke my mind on something I like :)

[allthefujoshiunite]

Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments from "Love for Sale"?

Thanks, Nora, because of you I found this manhwa, and it became one of my top fav BL ever.

Oh, have you read, "Dear Gene" by Azuma Kaya? It's also one of my favorite BL ever.... (Sorry if you already know it and don't really love them).

I can't put into words how happy it makes me that you liked Love for Sale... I don't think even Dal Hyeonji would feel this happy about someone liking their work SHFKUS but it's just SOO dear to me! Thank you for giving it a chance.

Obviously, there will be spoilers for Love for Sale below.

As for my top 5 moments.

The moment Namwoo finally realizes that he's the horndog in the relationship lol. From the moment they met, he's fixated on what he can provide for the money he's taking from Sieon, and since he's so rich and can literally buy anything he wants, there must be one thing and one thing only he wants from Namwoo: sex. Namwoo thinks Sieon must be a pervert for spending so much money on him (thus expecting a lot of sex in return) but it's actuallly him that constantly initiates sex. I kept waiting for the moment of realization!

The night Sieon went up to Namwoo's apartment to try his "toys". This is another favorite of mine because of how casual, funny and sexy at the same time. Still giggle whenever I remember Namwoo's middle finger action xD

Namwoo's realization that his sunbae was actually in love with him as well. I honestly didn't see this coming?! Probably because we never get to see his side of the story, and his "advances" could only be read as friendly invites. I should've been suspicious because I knew he picked up the nature of Namwoo and Sieon's relationship when they've first seen each other at the mall.

Namwoo and his sister Eunjung having a Love Declaration Olympics in the middle of a crowd. I mentioned in another answer that I love Eunjung for several reasons, and that scene is both so hilarious and emotional, I couldn't help but add it to the list. I love all of their interactions but this one probably takes the cake.

Sieon's blush. You know which chapter I'm talking about, right? xD I wouldn't believe you if you were to tell me that seeing a character blush after 70+ chapters would make me cry but here we are. This is top grade story-telling. Building everything up until such a "minor" point AND having a cathartic pay off, I can only bow down.

WHEW. Thank you for giving me another chance to gush about Love for Sale, because I feel self-conscious lol. I keep inserting the series whenever I get an ask or start blabbing unprovoked... Anyways. There were a lot more I liked about it, like our redhead with anger management issues looking back on his relationship with Sieon, or Namwoo's heartfelt convo with the female friend in his friend circle, OR Sieon reuniting with his mother. It's so hard to pick. But anyways, I'll stop here before I list anything and everything that transcribed in the series.

As for Dear Gene. I did read the parent manga, The Scene of My Rumspringa and liked it a lot! You can feel the weight and importance of the theme to the author, because only then you get a delicate story packed with emotions. Dear Gene was recommended to me as well, but I want to wait for the official English release because my Japanese is not at a level where I can comfortably read manga. I can get by with dictionaries and apps when the BL has your run of the mill story, I usually guess what's gonna happen from the very first chapter anyway. But BLs with deeper conversations and topics are hard to get through. I'll leave it to the translators and enjoy when I can. I'm looking forward to it!

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Howdy, it’s the fun fact not anon, I’m going to fully keep it a buck fifty, I sent a fun fact last night but my tumblr is being weird as hell and something was going on with the Wi-Fi i was using? So I’m just gonna say the same stuff again and if it went through this is sadly not a new fun facts.

Last night I was ridiculously eppy after spending the day with friends, so my initial fun fact as literally something I had just found out about and had no relevance whatsoever, which was that apparently glasses that can make subtitles are supposed to be coming out sometime in the near future, so if that works it’s pretty cool.

Then I got derailed(or re railed? Since it was a semi relevant fun fact. Either way I was very excited it came to mind,) because I did have a fun fact: It’s the classic we casually have more computing power in our phones than it took to send people to the moon in 1969. When I was trying to look up specific numbers, I found out that nowadays some fancy USBs have more computing power than the guidance computer on Apollo 11.

Then I ended it off with an ask: How do aliens react to humanity’s ability to do buck wild shit with relatively limited resources or technology? I.e using limited computational power to send someone to the moon, building gigantic pyramids, being a general nuisance to any invader, etc.

Then I proceeded to get absolutely 0 sleep until like 5:30 am.

Hi my friend!!!

So happy to get another fun fact from you!!!

As spooky as the direction of technology is going, I also think it's super cool that we've done so much with so "little?" Even the thought of the moon landing is kinda crazy to me like omg we DID that!

Or airplanes! or being able to call people all over the world! or being able to have fully translated conversations with people using your phone. it's all very cool.

I think the aliens would be just as impressed! Not because the tech is more advanced, but because it can actually keep up with some of their own. They would be ticked by the cell phone, for sure. The concept of "apps" makes them giggle a bit.

"You got games on your phone" headasses!!!

Always great to hear from you!!! Hope you're having a great day!

All my love,

Cheye

[thegeminisage]

tng night the second: naked now and code of honor. verdict: oh man.

really excited initially about a sequel to naked time, easily among the best ever tos episodes. but this is too early! even in tos we'd gotten a short time to know them as they are normally before they did All Of That

also this episode was. uh. not great. for starters, the inhibitions being lowered in meant different things to everyone...except the women. ALL THREE major female characters instantly turned into boy crazy sex fiends, which is particularly tragic for tasha bc she has major lesbian swag.

wesley continued to be annoying in this episode. i want to like him because he seems like a nice and eager kid (even if it is still fucking bonkers to me that kids are allowed on a starship), but the problem is he'll do some stupid bullshit that kids are wont to do and instead of like mothering him at all crusher IMMEDIATELY begins making excuses for him and getting defensive if anybody says anything to him. so also i realized i do kind of like crusher, especially when she gives picard shit, except every time she starts to grow on me she just lets wesley do whatever he wants and the i'm like :| again

also, what is UP with tasha yar. RAPE GANGS??? she just drops that into casual conversation while trying to fuck an android?? hello?????

lmao that data fucks also. i'm so glad actually. love and light it's so hard when people make androids asexual. i'm never opposed to any ace headcanon ever they're all fundamentally correct every fictional character IS ace so true but cmon. a robot??? it's better this way. good for him.

also, why did crusher get infected AFTER riker but succumb before him?? like are women just that weak lmao

perhaps the most interesting character in naked now was geordi, who got absolutely no resolution to the interesting setup they gave him, which is pretending he's satisfied with the way things are re: his vision and the prosthetic he uses, and then revealing that perhaps he's actually secretly not. that was neat. every time he's onscreen i'm like "i'd like to know more about that guy" and every time they're like "no <3"

code of honor was somehow even WORSE. apart from like. the obvious sexism and racism. we also had tasha yar once again being like "oooh i would love this big savage black man to ravish me that did make me feel so sexy" which. what the FUCK

AND ALSO a scene with crusher that annoyed me, because she went from "oh why can't i as a doctor show professionalism" (she's a woman) and then also in the middle of the crisis "can i bother you to let my son on the bridge even though he's a child i speak As A Mother (woman)" like girl...ik you love your son but he doesn't need free roam of a fucking starship. he is a baby. he needs to be in class. this was crusher's only scene in the entire episode btw she quite literally had 8 lines and they were all about how much of a woman she was.

i just feel like if we are going to do this to women we should go back to not having them. like shadowhunters. if you can't treat those ladies properly you have to put them back on the shelf until you're a grown-up.

we looked up a few skip/watch lists but none of them agree with each other. i'm too paranoid about missing vital info/context and i wanna see them all anyway even the bad ones but like...this is ROUGH. i know i know i KNOW it is going to get so, so much better. but good god.