#Which was also me trying to initiate a casual conversation that we did not even end up having

[rosetta-stoned-bitch]

I feel like shit, too many straws on my back and one of them is def gonna break it

[theealbatross]

Sebastian x Reader: i love you, it's ruining my life (One Shot)

Plot | Sebastian has the worst insomnia known to man and you are not dating him. Tags | none, fluff, slytherin!reader, bad english accent attempt by me, repressed feelings, unhealthy attachment, codependency, teenagers trying to process trauma together, mentions of nightmares, they are both 17 years old [A/N : FUCK JK ROWLING!!!!!!! Also I just needed to write something and somehow a depressed Slytherin boy was just the one to cure my insane writer's block. Enjoy!]

I am not dating Sebastian Sallow, is what you kept saying yet no one seems to ever believe you. Even Natty, bless her kind soul, gave you a look so incredulous as the words went out of your mouth that you couldn’t help but be confused yourself -- were you dating Sebastian?

“I’m not trying to be nosy, my friend. I’m just concerned.”

“About what?” This has been the third person this month with that same irritating expression on their face. Pity.

“I thought … you were always together that I just assumed there was … something.”

You blinked, trying not to let your face slip, afraid that your ever observant friend would read too much into each emotion.

“Well, there’s nothing. So you and the others can –”

“There are others?!”

You widened her eyes, telling Natty to drop it and she wisely did. “The rest of you can stop reporting his rendezvous to me. Understood?”

“There you are!”

Merlin, will the cruel gods of fate ever give you a break?

The deep voice from the door cut through half of the conversations in your table as Sebastian jogged towards you. “Morning, pet.”

He casually grabbed your head gently, pressing a kiss on top of it, before settling down by straddling the chair so he was facing you. “Hey Natty, got lost?”

It wasn’t unheard of for students to not stick to the assigned tables on their houses but it was still odd, especially for someone like Natty who much preferred the company of like-minded people. Always said that the quiet and whispers in the Slytherin table made her uneasy.

Natty looked from you, to him, to the arms that was hidden under the table but was no doubt placed on your waist, subtly but insistently pulling you closer. You silently pleaded for her to ignore it which she thankfully did with a sigh.

“Not at all, Sebastian. Just trying to keep our friend company before you undoubtedly steal her away for the day.”

He didn’t even pretend to be offended by the accusation, only chuckling good-heartedly. “You can be welcome to tag along just for today.”

“Wouldn’t want to intrude. And with the trouble the two of you get into I’d be grounded by my mother for the rest of my life.”

The three of them laughed at that. The conversation thankfully flowing easier and away from the initial topic. Once Ominis arrived and Poppy was called over it was like fifth-year again. The initial circle you had formed has always been a source of comfort, no longer having to have your guard up all the time especially as easy conversation flowed between each other.

“I got some new books for you, just got delivered an hour ago. We should read it tonight.”

You fed him a piece of bread in your hands, knowing that his growing appetite has not been satiated by the plate he made for himself but he would be too lazy to make a new one and would just rather take bits and pieces from your own. “Just for me, huh?”

He grabbed a tuft of grapes before feeding you one as well before he demolished the entire thing. You couldn’t help but giggle when he spat out a small branch that managed to sneak into his mouth.

“It’s that new muggle series you love, paid off one of Ominis’ servant to line for it so you wouldn’t have to sneak out of Hogwarts like I know you had planned to tonight.”

You could feel your face heating up at the fact that he knew you too damn well. “You know I don’t like you spending money on me, Sebastian.”

“Well, you’re gonna be reading it to me so technically I’m spending money for me.”

You gave him a look but he quickly evaded it by feeding you another pair of grapes.

Sebastian had been haunted by nightmares after last year’s events. Ones so bad that the nurse feared he would be a bit too dependent on sleeping potions at such a young age. Thankfully, the two of you had found a solution together, after a late night studying in the Undercroft reading your notes aloud hoping it would stick into your head a bit better – you had turned to find your companion snoring away beside you.

At first, the two of you thought it was the history lesson that put him right to slumber so you borrowed tons of history books in the library for him to read before he slept but an enchanted note later and you were dragging your sleepy self and a blanket out of your chambers as you read about the History of Magic in his bed.

It was that night that you had been eternally grateful that he had no other roommate but Ominis. Especially when you found out that Sebastian was apparently a horrible koala when asleep.

“That’s just –”

“What are you two whispering about?”

You actually jumped, pushing Sebastian away as if the soft voice behind them reminded you of how they had actually drifted closer than what was appropriate.

“Arieta,” Sebastian greeted her with a raised brow, seemingly confused why the Ravenclaw was this far off the room not even all that affected that his new girlfriend just caught him being a bit too comfortable with another girl.

“Sebby!” she shrieked prettily, quickly recovering and pulling on his arm. “We have History of Magic together, remember? You know I can’t survive that class without your shoulder to sleep on.”

She can hear Ominis choke on a laugh yet Arieta shot you a look like it was your fault.

“I, uh,” Sebastian turned to your table, now fully aware that everyone was staring at him with various expression on their faces. “Right, let’s go.”

Ever the gentleman, Sebastian was quick to grab the books in Arieta’s arm as she held on to his hand and dragged him towards the doors.

“Arieta, huh, wouldn’t have pegged her as territorial one,” Natty chuckled, you chucked a grape at her. “What? I am only speaking my mind. Might have to watch out for that one or she might just drag poor Sebastian away from –”

Just before she finished her sentence Sebastian came bounding down the path once again stopping just beside you, catching his breath. “Hey, you’re mine tonight, okay? No adventures.”

His wording left so much to be misinterpreted that even Poppy’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, damn near resembling those mooncalfs she loves so much.

"I stand corrected," Natty muttered.

“Sebby!” Arieta screamed at the end of the hallway.

Merlin’s beard.

“I’m coming!” He threw her an impatient look before holding on to your chin so you were looking at him and forcing you to nod. “No adventures.”

This time the embarrassment of the absolute mess that was unfolding before your unfinished breakfast have overwhelmed your brain that you could only nod with him.

“No adventures.”

Sebastian smiled, one of those real, bright ones that makes your body malfunction and your heart to stop beating. Pressing one last kiss on the top of your head and managing to wave to your shared friends he was off and gone through the double doors.

The entire table was left in silence and you had hoped they would let this go but Natty couldn’t give you that mercy as she cleared her throat.

“Well, now I got even more questions.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow you just think about him a lot.

You weren’t as daft as the rest of them have probably assumed. You did think there was a lot more than friendship between Sebastian and you. But with all the things that the two of you had been through it was difficult to pinpoint what it exactly was aside from their unusually intense loyalty to each other.

Was it a trauma bond? Was it just their kindred spirits refusing to let the one soul who understood them go? Did everything that they went through, the secrets they keep, the curses they threw to protect each other become the bloody ribbon that held the unhealthy attachment they had to each other? It could be love. But it could be a whole lot more complicated than that.

That’s what they were. They were complicated.

After the nightmare that was your fifth year the two of you had kept to yourselves with Ominis in tow, trying to keep as low as profile as possible and give your poor professors a break. With your newfound infamy as the ‘Hero of Hogwarts’ (blergh) and the dark secret you three were desperately keeping for Sebastian, the best you could hope for was to blend in with the rest of the nameless students in Hogwarts.

That agreement got shot into hell when your dear friend Sebastian Sallow proved to be one of the best beaters in Hogwarts’ long, long history. It was a dare that exploded in your own face to try out and irritate Imelda but when he had accidentally proven to be a bit too good at it their mutual friend clutched at him with her demanding claws and put him through the ringer until he got spat out decent enough to be one of the soldiers to secure the honor of their noble house and win the Quidditch cup this year.

Piled on top of that development was his connection to the Gaunt family, the Hero of Hogwarts, and the rumor of his hefty trust fund waiting for him the moment he turns 18 – Sebastian Sallow, just as the gods intended, became the most eligible bachelor of his age.

And thus your hell begun.

The silent charm he always had with him grew with his stature. He clearly enjoyed the attention after having hid his pretty bloody face behind dangerous books all year last year that it was almost like he was compensating for the hearts he could’ve broken. Every moon it was a different girl looped around his arms and every month it was a different friend reporting to you that your presumed ‘boyfriend’ was found snogging a goddamn Gryffindor in the Three Broomsticks.

It was annoying, confusing, and you were getting sick of it.

“Over here.”

Before you could find the source of the voice you knew all too well, a door had already opened and you were quickly pulled into an empty room – well, room was being generous as it was more of a storage space than anything.

“Sebastian!”

“Shh,” you gawked when his opened palm muffled your voice as he firmly presses it on your mouth. The unmistakable sounds of footsteps and a softer call of his name echoed the hallway outside the door. When the footsteps faded and disappeared, he had the nerve to give you a lopsided grin that turned your face red in irritation. Definitely in irritation.

Nothing quite like being forced to face the boy who had been running around your head all day.

“Sorry bout that, pet,” he chuckled, leaning on the wall an arms-length way from you. “I’m not too good with break-ups, especially when they say no.”

“Must be horrifying,” you sniped shortly, also pressing your back on the nearest wall to give you as much space as possible – it would just be absolutely mortifying to faint because your heart was beating too fast it was like it was trying to escape. “Are you gonna explain why you’ve kidnapped me in this dingy room?”

“Come on now, don’t be short with me. I just wanted to hang out with you ‘s all.”

“You want to hang out with me …. Inside a closet?”

He shrugged, “I never see you anymore these days.”

Ah, the nightmares must be back. She tries to swallow down the bitter taste in her mouth.

“That’s not my fault, Sebastian.”

At least he looked guilty. And absolutely miserable.

In the few weeks you had taken your eyes off him it would seem he had another growth spurt. Do boys just not stop growing ever? Looking up at him was starting to get painful. Plus, all those drills they run to prepare for every game had done nothing but well for his physique. You couldn’t help but run your eyes to his broad chest and shoulders before you caught yourself and nearly screamed in horror.

“Hey, I’m sorry,” Rough hands grabbed one of yours. He bent his knees so he could look in your eyes as you now outright refuse to meet his, in anger for the absolute shit friend he had been the past months or in embarrassment that you so casually checked him out you’re not quite sure. “I … I got distracted but I missed you. You know I prefer your company over any other.”

Those damned brown eyes, not even the poor light in the windowless room could dull its effect on you. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Your harsh words did not match with the growing smile on your face you failed to suppress. He mirrored your grin, “Do you still have classes?”

You shook your head.

He damn near vibrated in glee. Merlin, you did miss him.

“Let me steal you away.”

In a flash, Sebastian grabbed a hold of your hand to survey the hall one last time before dragging you out of the room and into the nearest Floo. You barely caught the surprise and anger in his ex-girlfriend’s eyes as she gawked by the stairs before you got swallowed up by a green flash of powder.

“Boathouse.”

You’re not dating Sebastian Sallow because this is definitely not a date.

You wouldn’t think the Boathouse would be a romantic place but with the lack of students, the dimming sun and a gorgeous boy leading you in the inside of it for privacy – you couldn’t help but think that anyone who would pass by would be well within their right to think you had become another notch in Sebastian Sallow’s belt.

You’re not sure how you feel about that. A greater witch would’ve been offended but maybe you’re no better than the knots in his belt.

“Sit here.”

Sebastian spread out a worn-out black robe on the ground, patting on it expectantly. Before you could do it yourself, he was already kneeling beside you and removing your shoes and socks. The intimate act forced you to hold your breath, making sure you controlled your face so your jaw doesn’t fall to the floor as he slowly pulled on your socks, gently plopping them on the edge and letting the Black Lake’s water tickle your feet as they dangled.

When you were settled, he nonchalantly laid his head down on your lap. Gods, help you.

“Comfortable, aren’t you?”

He made a dramatic noise of satisfaction, even wiggling in your lap to show his assent. A giggle slipped out of your mouth at the absolute gall of him, your hands naturally falling in his soft, thick, brown hair to play with it.

“What had you been up to, pet?” he mumbles, eyes never leaving your face although you find yourself unable to do the same as you opted to look around the architecture of the Boathouse you rarely visit.

“Nothing much,” you shrugged. “Although I did find that swimming in the Forbidden Forest’s Lake was surprisingly relaxing.”

He hummed, not even surprised at your little antics when you leave his line of sight. The boy had definitely pulled you out of worse situations than roaming around the Forbidden Forest. “You should take me some time. Merlin knows relaxing is what I need.”

A scoff escaped your mouth as you rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, right after I duel your newest girlfriend for the honor of getting to take you out.”

He poked your side at that, “As entertaining that would be you know all you have to do is send me an owl and I’d trek up to Maurenweem for you.”

Your face clearly showed you didn't believe him and he frowned. Carefully, you ran a finger in-between his brows where a frown formed to relax it.

At this angle you could see the toll the sleepless nights he must’ve been having had on him. If the bags on his eyes was any indication it must’ve been a few nights now. You ran your hands on his hair earning you a satisfied hum as he dangled his hand on the edge of the ledge to play with the water below.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He popped one eye open but your gentle touch proved too much as he closed it again with an even longer hum. “A few hours last night.”

“You should’ve woken me up.”

He gently shook his head, grabbing your free hand so he can hold it by his stomach.

“I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“Oh please, Sebastian.”

He chuckled at that, gripping on your hand tightly as he let out a heavy breath. “The nightmares … I thought it’s been better. Barely had any a few months ago. But now it’s just gotten worse.”

The confession broke your heart. Sebastian was not a vulnerable person; despite his usually easy and cheerful demeanor he was quick to wall himself in at the first sign of trouble. You would bet galleons of gold he still feels horrible of all the things he put you through and it was truly in desperation when he had called you over to help him through his insomnia. Which was also why you had welcomed the responsibility with open arms.

“Care to tell? Is it still about Anne?”

His estranged twin has been forefront of most of his darkest nightmares but he shook his head again and for that you were thankful he was spared that at least. “Solomon? Ominis?”

He opened his eyes; it was full of overflowing guilt and fear. And when it seemed he could no longer keep it to himself he sighed, “It’s about you. That’s the reason why I couldn’t …”

The revelation had your blood freezing. “What?”

He sat up, now facing you and taking both of your hands. “I’m only telling you this because you are my best friend and to remind you that none of this is ever your fault. You haven’t done a thing wrong, in fact, I can’t think how I would’ve gotten past any of this if it wasn’t for you.”

You held on to his hands tighter. “Sebastian, you’re scaring me.”

He shook his head, pulling you closer as if to comfort. Why was he comforting you when it was him who had been terrorized by this dream version of you. It was irrational to be mad but how could you not be when apparently you had become one of his problems while you were simultaneously desperately trying to fix it.

A palm on your cheeks pulled you out of your self-loathing.

“All of my dreams … it was of the people I love leaving me. Anne never forgiving me for the rest of my life, Ominis turning me in …”

“Oh, Sebastian,” you buried a sob on the crook of his neck, your hand roping around his back so you can rub on his back comfortingly while he lets everything out.

“And … and every time it happens my brain drives itself insane thinking of plans of what I would do if those nightmares came true. That’s the reason why I couldn’t sleep.” You looked up at him through your lashes but never leaving your spot even as he brings your legs out of the water and over his until you were in his lap.

“But then … they turned to you.” His voice dropped so low you almost shivered. “And for the life of me I just couldn’t … see an out of that. If I lost you – If you gave up on me I … I think I’d turn myself in Azkaban myself.”

“Sebastian I would never –”

“I know that,” he whispered. “But I still can’t – I can’t let it go. I can’t let go of these doubts and fear.”

This time he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “That’s why I keep hanging out with all those girls.”

You raised your head in confusion, taking a better look at him.

“I thought if I loved you less, my nightmares would be kinder.”

The breath got caught in your throat. What is he – does he mean –

“But I couldn’t do that either,” He sighed, rubbing a hand on his face, clearly frustrated. “So I’ve decided. I’d rather go insane, let the nightmares do their worst because I am done pretending I don’t love you. I’m done avoiding you, I’m done pretending you aren’t the only light in my life. I’m done. And I love you.”

A fully grown crying Mandrake could drop from the sky and you don’t think you would’ve heard it over your own heart. You could barely comprehend anything but that his grip on your waist was so tight it was almost painful and that his pleading, terrified eyes was in the perfect angle that the late dying sun made it look like it was in a golden fire.

And that Sebastian Sallow … is in love with you. Just as madly as you were with him.

“I’m not forcing you into anything. I needed to let it out. If you want, I fully intend to formally court you until –”

“I love you.” You could no longer bear to put him in such misery. As long as you were alive, he would not question the adoration you’ve felt for him that just kept growing since the first day he had taken you to Hogsmeade. “I love you, Sebastian.”

Just for a moment there was quiet then he burst out laughing. “Thank you, darling." His body visibly shuddered as he sighed in relief, burying his face in your chest. "I’ve already planned to throw myself off the highest cliff in Hogwarts if this had gone south.”

You wrapped your hands around his neck, accepting the gentlest kisses on your neck. “Don’t say that. I plan to be your girlfriend for a very long time.”

His body shook from laughing, this time a kiss under your jaw, “Not that long I hope?”

You frowned, pulling away from him, though his unrelenting hold prevented much space to be in between the two of you. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” his thumbs rubbed circles on your thigh, now seemingly shy. “If all goes well, I had hoped to be engaged by the time we graduate. You won’t be just my girlfriend then.”

"You bastard," You gawked, laughing at his proclamation. The happiness was overflowing in your chest that you couldn’t help but just squeeze him into you hoping maybe that your souls would fuse with each other.  “You haven’t even kissed me yet and you’re already pre-proposing?”

He licked his lips, his sleepless eyes now full of vigor. “Ah, we gotta fix that, don’t we, pet?”

“We’re dating.”

Natty sighed in relief.

Poppy clapped.

Garreth passed Imelda a silver coin.

"Excuse me," Ominis muttered, standing up. “I'm gonna request a room change to the Headmaster.”

[sharkorok]

heeseung w/ an inexperienced s/o

cw/genre: this is fluff!!! fluff!!, headcanon format, cursing, fboi au, campus au ig…(?), like one dirty joke or whatnot teeheehoohoo, informal writing, that should be it (I think)

requested: X

a/n: this grown man has me so delulu so take this 😋

•-•-•-•

-u are well known for being notoriously bad at expressing affection or being in relationships

-you can’t do casual relationships this man once said “hey baby” and you were like “so I think we should lowk end things cuz why u calling me bby…kinda weird dawg…”

-UR JUST SO AWKWARDDDD ITS EMBARRASSING (I’ll write ur character development soon dw)

-anyways so you go to a party and you see heeseung who is notorious for being the craziest charmer ever like he could see an acorn on the ground and seduce it

-he strikes up conversation with you to see what the fuss is all about, he saw a person once talk about how ur so hot w a cold heart but he immediately realized you’re just awkward skssksksks

-he realizes he literally fell in love with you the second he tried to flirt and you were just …? while laughing awkwardly

-so after a month of you flitting around his charming gestures, looking down shyly or avoiding eye contact when he tries to rizz u up, he gets the courage to just straight up ask, “do you like me?”

-and when you explain that u don’t rlly know and u don’t really get into relationships he’s like OKKK LETS TRY THEN!! because he’s so madly in lov w you cuz ur so cute to him

-ok so boom dating!

-he purposely pushes your buttons to see just how much you can squirm, watching you stammer when he has you pressed against a wall gives him a power trip he didn’t think anyone could be this adorable

-and also u as a person…he’s so in love (dreamily)

-no one understands your relationship like, “how does y/n survive heeseung they can’t even say the word baby without cringing”

-ur not innocent or anything ur just new to affection and stuff so it freaks u out a little!!

-he always asks about boundaries before hand or makes sure you’re comfortable when you two are hanging out. the first time you two were cuddling he would ask every now and then if you were alright

-“you just make me nervous, hee” “don’t be nervous baby, it’s just me.”

-you didn’t realize how nice it felt to be loved within your comfort zone, and how nice it was to have someone hold your hand when it was pushed a little

-he’s gonna tease u tho sorry “loser virgin s/o and popular fboi boyfriend what wattpad story are we coming from”

-defends you to death if anyone criticizes the way you two date, he’s happy with you and if anyone tries to say otherwise he’s all up for arguing with them in a parking lot (￣▽￣)

-he loves you so so much and he dgaf about how slow he has to take it!!

-he takes you on lots of different dates to see what you like and what you don’t like, slowly initiates PDA to see if you’re okay w it or what freaks you out, he’s okay w taking the lead

-got him proud when you explain yourself tho, it means he’s doing a good job as your boyfriend if you’re comfortable explaining your boundaries and understanding them!! (in the least patronizing way possible)

-one time you two were making out and you put your hands on his chest, looking up at him and shaking your head, “I don’t think I want to continue yet.”

-and like a good boyfriend he is he reassured you he dgaf and that you two can just cuddle on the couch for the rest of the night or he could sit five feet away from you and not speak!!! whatever you say he listens bae

-never pushes you for affection, it pisses him off when people say the relationship is one sided, he doesn’t get insecure about whether or not you love him dw

-you say “I love you” every now and again later in your relationship to reassure him just in case tho, which is always super special to him and makes him fly over the moon *bawls eyes out*

-I did not mean for this to be this long ok anyways he’s yours and he knows it and your his and he knows that too <3

[auroratumbles]

first of all, do NOT in any way harass nor send hate to anyone mentioned in this post. this is simply to raise awareness about it all!!

user @/ceneid (formerly) was a popular person in the genshin writing community who lied about their age, identity, faked an ed, and was just mainly a shitty person in general.

all the information on this post comes from an anonymous source

the blogs that were owned by elise are:

ceneid

hikoiaa

umiloa

ha-yami

scarasgfreal

symphxony

fionvancia

fixnaie

a quote from my source:

"for context, elise ran a total of 4-5 accounts, with her very first blog being ceneid that was also mutuals with you - they’re the same person. elise had multiple accounts where she claimed she was different ages and it was fairly obvious it was her due to the fact that she didn’t bother to change her typing style or themes, one of the blogs claimed she was 18, a few of my friends and i ended up noticing she had a terrible tendency to say things like “oh i haven’t eaten in 20 hours! should i eat? oh nvm” and such which led to everyone being concerned, these were EXTREMELY frequent, and she’d speak about self harm - randomly putting it in a casual conversation without warning.

she also asked for my location at some point, and overall i eventually grew tired of it and blocked her. later on, someone i know made a callout post on her and it ended in shambles, elise continued to try to get them to take the post down but to no avail until elise deactivated ceneid and started the hikoiaa blog. the person who made the post found out it was her and the cycle continued, until elise ended up admitting everyone and apologized to everyone per the person’s request.

after elise did that, the person deactivated their blog thinking elise had changed for the better - and i even interacted with her too because i thought the same thing. unfortunately, we were all wrong and found out elise owned the @/symphxony blog where she says she’s 17. multiple things have it away that it was her such as coincidentally posting the same things, following the exact same people, and elise also bypassed someone’s boundaries by interacting with them through the blog as a way to become friends with them despite the person telling her to not interact with her directly.

elise made excuses when i confronted her and told her to stop, and she played it off as coincidences like she did before when the owner of the call out post tried to talk things out with her. i have people who can vouch for everything im saying, as well as some screenshots that would unfortunately not fit into this ask because there’s too many of them, she also has this strange obsession with following and interacting with people that i follow and interact with in any shape or form, this has happened almost 7 times now as well. she’s constantly made blogs to follow me on despite me telling her to NEVER contact me again. this stopped a few days ago when she blocked me."

screenshots provided were

another quote:

"elise’s stories never made sense, they were always exaggerated and/or made her seem smarter than she actually was - this was a small bit of the proof that she was lying about her age at the end when she claimed to be 16. she linked a few tiktoks on her blog, revealing her account in the process that studied 7th grade science"

she was called out by someone else on tumblr initially, but that post was lost to the depths. she lied about having a joint blog with someone when it was really just her. to save her own skin, she dmed them.

when that blog blocked her, she made a 'burner account' to talk to them even more.

another blog named 'scarasgfreal' was made. they were 𝜗𝜚 anon and 🦢 anon. the blog was made a few days after the incident mentioned above.

the blog confronted elise.

part 2 of this post

[whimsicalhorss]

The Recent Nevermore Drama.

Red, I think it's quite sad that you decided to delete all the original comments going against you and reexplaining what went down within your 'apology', which was 95% calling out rather than talking about the cause of the whole uprising. Nonetheless, here was my original reply, just so everybody who stumbles across this post can see the reply from somebody who's viewed it from both sides. The original message was, as follows:

'Hey Red,

I hope you're managing amidst everything that's been going on. I know you've been through a lot recently, and I hate to add to the messages you've been receiving. However, there are some things that I really need to talk to you about.

Over the past few days — even years — I've noticed some things that really concern me. It feels like there's been a lot of blame unfairly placed on certain individuals within your community, which is incredibly damaging, especially when it unfairly paints others in a negative light. I understand you've been trying to address the situation with Crimson, but the approach taken hasn't been effective and has caused more harm than good.

In terms of the Crimson drama, I think it could have been handled more sensibly. Consulting with Laci and others involved would have been beneficial before making the decision to introduce Crimson back to the server. When you were writing your explanation, which I know was rushed, you should have stepped back and consulted for longer - I know you felt pressured, but.. you needed to give yourself time to handle it.

With the screenshots, too - they were only censored to the point of concealing most of the users involved to keep the MINORS safely out of the evidence, and yet you continued to banter on about how they were censored and unable to interpret what happened. As well, you tampered with evidence when you sent a screenshot, CUTTING OUT the part where Laci mentioned they could give you the evidence uncensored if you asked, yet you continued to complain.

On the topic of minors, you name dropped SEVERAL in your apology. Do you know how endangering or scary that can be? It's insane that you felt the need to name anybody involved to get people off your back.

There's also Sardonyx - I don't know if you'll share this with your patreons but, if you do, hello Sardonyx. They casually aggravate people, make NSFW conversation in YOUR SFW server, and you still allow them to pursue in such a way. They continued to temper people after the initial Crimson argument and started their own, which could have been avoided if you had muted both persons involved (rather than banning everybody against Sardonyx) and asked for them to calm down and explain their conflict in dms.

Also the Bunnybel issue - I know the topic was discussed by people banned, but there's also the factor that neither you, nor your mods stepped in to stop it. Matter of fact, you contributed to it, and everybody went along with it as a fun easter event of drawing your two main protagonists in these outfits that, when looked at closer, actually have a much more terrible implication. You should have handled this earlier, rather than blaming it on somebody and ranting about how it's all their fault and they're in the wrong.

Again with Laci, too - you outright blaming her for everything that has occurred is terrible. Whilst that may be what you see in this whole confrontation, in truth, it really isn't anything like that, Red. Saying that everybody else involved were her 'lackeys' and 'twisted around her finger' was an incompetent, foolish way of pinning all these hardships on her. Some people involved, including me, had barely spoken to Laci prior, because a lot of people cared about the fact that YOU had unbanned a potentially alleged pedophile back into your server full of minors. I know it doesn't seem like everybody cared, but we all did, otherwise we wouldn't have started this whole 'riot' thing or whatever to go against it. I surely cared, considering I have been at the face of two pedophiles sending me unsettling, inappropriate images, and I know that it is hard to reach out to somebody or stop them when they shrug it off so nonchalantly.

Lastly, I think it's hypocritical you spoke about how certain groups were stalker-ish and stealing messages from a patreon chat, despite you taking a chat from private servers and dms. The behaviour is equal, is it not? You used your influence to alter certain texts and take them out of context, and the other groups simply took what you said and proved that you, and unpunished, favourited people who have been held dearly, have done terrible things yourself.

I understand that this whole thing has been overwhelming for you, Red, but I believe that there was a real need for you to approach each situation differently, and not to compile everything into an 'apology' that is 5% apology, and 95% calling out people and altering the blame to be put on them. I think that the tactics you used were poor, and I hope that you do figure out something better in the future.

Take care, and I'm here if you'd like to discuss this any further.

Best regards,

A bystander.' And the second reply I made, aimed at one of her patreons (or moderators? who knows.) who put a whole lot of shit behind a paywall and then continued to support her. Aha, Debobble, if it wasn't illegal, I'd show the whole world you trying to make a fake screenshot of Laci 'configurating her hate schemes', and how terribly it was done. 'Hello!

I hope you're having a joyous, maybe even 'whimsical' day!

A lot of things that have occurred recently are the fault of both 'sides' (if we can call them that. Not 'Laci's lackeys' or 'Clique 1 and 2'.) and I think I should refer to the way that this has been dealt with again. 

Yes, the server was owned by somebody different who was capable of banning Crimson, and it was intended for less SFW purposes, but I think Crimson went outright too far in a predatory way. They put a teenage oc with an adult oc, which is pedophilic behaviour, and sent several overly NSFW images. I assume that this chat was intended for 'implied sexual circumstances', rather than overly perverse, but I could be wrong. I agree in the fact that something should have been done, and I approve of Laci's initial reaching out, but I don't approve of the way Red banned them for as little as they did.

As I like to say; 4 months, 4 minors. You afforded Crimson a month for each minor they influenced in such a predatory way, and I think the time should have been extended.

Might I also add, these screenshots were not 'heavily' censored. They were censored for the safety of the minors and other persons involved and, yet.. Red seems to be content with name dropping every minor who was involved. So much for the safety of her members!

AND I have more to add, which I trust you to hand over to Red for me since you seem content to do that quite often for her - do you mind reminding her and the entire patreon and mod chat that Crimson (and Red, I'm pretty sure) knew the age of one 12 year old, who we might call 'Green'. They continued to share NSFW things to them, including making jokes about what I assume was a 'vibrator in public'. How SFW for a child! Crimson is VERY innocent.

I agree that all of this has gotten out of hand, but both responses, from Red, the moderation team, and the patreon chat against the groups banned for involving themselves, but I wouldn't consider it a mob. Both sides had good intentions, it's just the way Red has gone about it - framing others for her mistakes and outright dismissing people for being concerned about the safety, that has made this come to such a volatile level.

And the whole, breaking several TOS, and a law? If thats what we're doing, what are you doing? Leaking private messages, encouraging predatory behaviour, endangering minors, leaking names which could result in a witch hunt from Red's expanse following? Oh dear..

How volatile.

Best regards,

A bystander.' Red, every little detail you have undergone is such a negative, unredeemable smidge to this massive whiteboard of what you could do. Instead of handling this like the adult, you undertake criticism harshly, which is detrimental considering you are somebody who has been writing for years, which means that you should have matured and adapted to take this kinds of things. You could have taken a month, maybe two, maybe three, to explain the whole Crimson thing - it would have been much less detrimental to yourself, and your community. You absolutely wrecked every second, third, fourth, fifth chance people were tempted to give you with every detail that went in to making sure that YOU felt like you had to be right - name dropping, which could lead to witch hunting with your massive following, especially since the people were minors and specifically requested you keep their names out of it. You allowed an alleged, potential predator back into your server without consulting it with victims - and don't get me started on the whole 'Crimson didn't know!', they knew at least one of them, and still continued. You pinned the blame on Laci, on another person (who has asked me not to say their name and, like the respectful person I am, will not be namedropping. That doesn't seem like a familiar concept to you, does it?) and you keep all these little dirty secrets behind a paywall. Red, in the most respectfully disrespectful way, grow up and learn to be better. You spout all this bull, every little detail and, when it backfires, you cower into a corner, guilt trip, manipulate, and eventually resort to the potential physical or mental harm of other people. It needs to stop. The icing on the cake, to all of this? YOU, as the 'mature adult that would never stand for pedophilic behaviour, that loves their audience, that has a server full of minors', that YOU would delete messages explaining the situation in a different point of view. You don't want your vast following to see these and think, 'huh, maybe Red isn't as good as I thought they were?', well they aren't. I don't know if people will see this but, sincerely, I hope Red, Flynn, DeBobble, the patreons, the moderators, and all of the discord and general following of Nevermore and RnF know that what Red spouts isn't necessarily all true.

Kind regards, A bystander.

[starlightshadowsworld]

So in Season 5 episode 2 when Fukuchi is at the UN there’s a dude fanboying over his adventures.

He lists several of them off and one of them is “the elimination of hundreds of thousands of subjects of the werecreature experiments in the republic of Kenia.”

Werecreature experiments

We know of one werecreature and we also know he was experimented on as a child. Granted Shibusawa seemed like he was doing his own thing for Fyodor.

So this could’ve been a separated thing or related but either way it has to have involved Atsushi, right?

You don’t just throw out the phrase ‘werecreature experiments’ and not have it be related to the only werecreature in the show.

Especially not the main character.

And while it was the orphanage, we know Atsushi has survived multiple attempts on his life as a child.

As for Fukuchi he was planning to kill him on that boat prior to Akutagawa showing up. And then tried to convince Akutagawa to kill Atsushi.

Perhaps to finish the job he started all those years ago.

If Atsushi was involved in these experiments his parents could’ve also been test subjects as other weretigers. But they could’ve also been scientists.

And that’s what the headmaster was referring to when he said by the ‘this doesn’t even count as abuse when compared to your parents.’

Like yeah im making you nail your own foot to the floor but at least I didn’t make you a monster. Because yeah these these experiments could’ve been what gave him his ability in the first place.

Maybe Atsushi was one of if not the only successful experiment. Fyodor wants him alive after all and him being the guide is because of his ability.

Atsushi was abandoned inside a rubbish bag in a bin by his parents. Perhaps the place was attacked by Fukuchi and they were trying to hide Atsushi.

Even if Atsushi wasn’t apart of these experiments, if there were any other weretigers it seems like Fukuchi killed them.

He’s the only werecreature and that’s why the police and the Agency (up until they met Atsushi) thought Atsushi was a normal tiger during his rampage. No one immediately considered he was a werecreature, an ability user because their aren’t any.

As for the location, they may have meant Kenya but it’s possible this place is made up for bsd. It wouldn’t be the first time so there’s also that.

Also that conversation said that many of Fyodor’s exploits were made into movies so just imagine Atsushi having movie night with the Agency and finding this all out.

If his parents were scientists and involved with this then it’s fair to assume Atsushi remembers what they did to him. Given his reaction to Fitzgerald talking about them.

But given his initial trust of Fukuchi i don’t think he knows about his involvement.

Fuck this man really decided he was going to take everyone away from Atsushi, didn’t he?

Shoutout to the wonderful @crowscadence for letting me know about this because I had no idea this was said.

This is now going to rot in my brain for the foreseeable future because what the fuck?! Not to mention the casualness of which this information was delivered.

[strawbqq]

HI THIS IS JUDY ON HER MAIN ACCOUNT I have to request for tecchou (and jouno too idk if you allow multiple characters 😭)

If you have ever read 'conversations with friends', it's about "tortured poets" meeting one another and bonding over it. But I was hoping for headcanons or a scene where the reader sorta "connects" with the hunting dogs over their line of work in this way? Like "I am you and you are me"

Maybe the reader is in the government but another org, idk take it however you want

If you haven't read the book/seen the show I sooooo recommend it btw it's so good 🥹

a/n: yesyes ty for requesting.ᐟ.ᐟfinally done after many many days of procrastination *ahem . I didn't read the book so im sorry if this isn't what u wanted 😭😭 enjoy.ᐟ.ᐟ

𝔹𝕊𝔻 𝕞𝕖𝕟 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔 𝕙𝕔𝕤 + 𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕒𝕣𝕚𝕠

[Warnings: nothing.ᐟ✰] [Word count: 536 || 𝓮𝓷𝓳𝓸𝔂.ᐟ]🍓

°ᡣ𐭩ft. tecchou, jouno

sfw. hcs

𝕋𝕖𝕔𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕦

to cross paths with tecchou is a opportunity hard to come by even though u both work for the government

you first encountered each other during a joint mission

u don't really notice him until you see him eating beef w/ chocolate i see jouno yelling his head off in the corner

you're so professional and cool that tecchou is very intrigued by you 😔

tbh for u two to connect ur the one who's gonna have to initiate the convo

u see him in action during the mission and wow 🤩 olala

after the mission, u accidentally bump into tecchou in places u wouldn't expect (maybe he was always there, you just never noticed)

it's casual at first, just a quick 'oh, its you.ᐟ.ᐟ' but then a conversation starts, and u both realize yall have a lot in common

u both love nature walks/photography idk if this is accurate BUT BUT we did see him observing ants for 8 hours sooo

after a mission or a busy week u run into each other again in a park or near a scenic area

the casual setting gives u two a chance to interact outside of work, which naturally leads to a conversation.ᐟ.ᐟ

it's a relaxing, low-pressure environment for getting to know each other better\,,after a while u two are almost like friends rather than work associates.ᐟ.ᐟ

tecchou as a friend is so calming tbh

generally lets u do all the talking before saying something totally unrelated in the middle of a rant

altogether a very steady, reliable person

in the end u two are still divided by the invisible line that separates him, a hunting dog, from you, a regular government agent

but by now he's already lots closer to u than anyone else outside work, & he'll do his best to be a loyal & dependable friend 🥰

just like, never let him cook if u know u know

𝕁𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕠

you're sent to deliver important documents from your organization to the Hunting Dogs' HQ

it's a routine assignment, but when u arrive, alarms go off for some reason 😔

before u can explain yourself, jouno appears out of thin air using his ability and scares the shit out of you

well, he cant do no nothing bc he knows ur telling the truth

ngl, for u to feel connected to this guy, u must be one heck of a simp

u *might get on agreeable terms w/ him after a while, though, if you say you also hate tecchou

you're called back for multiple deliveries throughout the month

jouno, against all odds, actually remembers u.ᐟ.ᐟ wow

just talk to him and try not to be annoyed by his rants :)

challenge him (respectfully) he's gonna cheat

jouno as your friend tho???

100% blunt honesty, you're probably gonna get mad 9 times out of 10

probably knows u better than u know yourself after a while

absolutely doesn't let u get a word in, rants the whole time about tecchou or anything that annoyed him

u can never tell if he's joking or not

one of these days he's gonna go, 'why u smell like...blueberry and wet dog—'

yes please smack him for me

a/n: again im so sorry if this isn't what u wanted judy, im so proud that u requested 😭 BUT YAY FINALLY DONE HAHAHA (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ ty to everyone who read this, have a good day.ᐟ.ᐟ

𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾.ᐟ ʚ🍓ɞ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢs + ʟɪᴋᴇs ʜɪɢʜʟʏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ

o(≧▽≦)o

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 5 ⤍ first meeting

you sat in the car on the way to the hangout your friends have planned. you nervously played with your phone on the way there.

you weren't the best at keeping conversations going with new people so you were thankful that friends would be there to make it easier. you had a fear of embarrassing yourself, especially because there wasn't a camera, and you couldn't call it content.

this is why you only had a few select friends that you were close with. all of which happened to be more of the social type, like right now for example.

you were cut out of your thoughts by yujin hitting your shoulder making you dramatically grab it and exclaim, "my arm?!" before giving her a 'why the fuck did you do that' look.

"are you done daydreaming? we're here" yujin responded.

"you could've tapped me" you said as you grabbed your things before getting out of the car.

"i did! you just ignored me"

"maybe because i don't respond to dumbasses like you"

"you're the dumbass" yujin retorted.

"i love how my two favorite people just get along so well" wonyoung said sarcastically coming in between the two of you and wrapping her arms around the both of you as y'all continued walking.

"she started it" yujin mumbled.

"you literally tried to attack me while i was distracted"

"your fault" she shrugged in response.

you all walked into the cafe and yujin called chaewon to figure out where they were.

you looked around the cafe trying to calm yourself down and also maybe find an escape route just in case.

wonyoung noticed your nerves and tried to comfort you by rubbing her hand up and down your arm, "don't be nervous"

"my heart is beating so fast right now" you told her.

"you can hold onto me if you need to" wonyoung grabbed your hand making you instantly calm down a little bit.

"thanks"

"they're almost here, they're like two stores down" yujin said as she put her phone into her pocket.

once they made it to the cafe you all greeted each other casually, well everyone except you and kazuha. as you finally let go of wonyoung's hand to go greet kazuha sakura stopped you.

"kazuha is really excited about meeting you" sakura whispered to you with a smile on her face.

everybody stood around in a small circle surrounding you and kazuha.

"why are y'all so dramatic" you chuckled before looking at kazuha.

you smiled at her with a hint of nervousness, "hey kazuha"

"hi y/n" she greeted back awkwardly playing with her hands.

"should we hug or something? or would shaking hands be better?" you asked.

"hugging should be fine" she shrugged.

kazuha stepped closer and wrapped her arms around your neck, and you reciprocated wrapping your arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

the hug didn't last as long as the two of you would have liked because eventually chaewon broke the two of you up, "okay, okay, stop flirting. let's find somewhere to sit"

once you were all settled and ordered drinks and a small dessert there was an awkward silence.

"why is nobody talking? most of us know each other" sakura said.

"so… how's the weather?" you asked awkwardly.

chaewon and yunjin immediately bust out laughing while wonyoung and sakura shook their heads.

"you two talk we'll just watch" yujin finally said once she stopped laughing.

"wouldn't that be even more awkward?" you turned to glare at her.

"we could play one of those get to know you games" wonyoung suggested.

"see an actual good suggestion, take notes yujin"

yujin rolled her eyes at you before taking the initiative to ask a question, "would you rather lose the ability to read or speak?"

"reading. i need to verbally express my displeasure" chaewon responded.

"speaking. i read too much to lose my ability to read"

"things are advanced nowadays. you could just have it read out" sakura added in.

"but it's not the same" wonyoung said.

"definitely reading as long as you can hear it'll be fine" kazuha said.

"you're right. i agree" you said after thinking about it.

wonyoung asked the next question, "would you rather lose all of your past memories or not be able to make new ones?"

"that's like very deep" chaewon said.

"lose the past. what's the point of living if you're not making new memories" sakura answered first.

"losing all the past memories would be hard though because there's nothing to look back on" yujin said.

"like even if you had it bad you have to have at least one happy moment that pushed you through it all" you said.

"but if you lose future memories then you'll be forever stuck in the past" kazuha said.

"maybe it is the future" you changed your answer after further consideration once again.

"would you rather be able to teleport anywhere or be able to read minds?" chaewon asked.

"oh read mines for sure. imagine how cool it would be knowing what everyone thinks about me" you answered first.

"i don't wanna know what everyone thinks about me" wonyoung said and sakura agreed.

"teleporting would save so much time, the days of being late will never happen again" kazuha said.

"that is true!" you agreed changing your opinion once again, "yeah i would teleport"

"please grow a backbone y/n. you can't just change your answer because of kazuha every time" yujin told you.

"she's a strong debater and keeps convincing me otherwise" you shrugged defending your switching up.

you all did some more would you rather questions and debated on them until everybody finished their drinks and desserts.

when everybody was getting ready to leave when you were pulled to the side by kazuha who played with her hands nervously, "you wanna play a game together tonight, just the two of us?"

"oh yeah. it'll be better without them" you told her making her visibly relax.

"can i have your number so we can text later?" kazuha asked as she pulled out her phone and handed it to you.

you put your number in and handed it back to her, "i'm better at interacting with people over the phone, so it won't be as awkward"

kazuha chuckled, "we'll both be better tonight"

after the conversation, you two made it back to your groups, and everybody said their goodbyes and you took your leave with yujin and wonyoung.

"i knew it was gonna be awkward but not that awkward" wonyoung said.

"we're gonna work on it" you covered your face remembering the events that happened earlier.

"i hope so because that'll make a very bad video" yujin said.

once you made it into the car you got a text from kazuha.

"why are you smiling at your phone so hard" yujin asked you trying to take a look at it.

you quickly closed and locked your phone, turning it away from her, "nobody. i was on twitter"

"ohh you're texting kazuha" yujin laughed.

"hmm?" you faked ignorance.

"we literally just left, what could you two even be talking about?"

"none of your business" you responded.

yujin playfully rolled her eyes at you, "i'll remember that"

this took me so long to write and for what! not my best work but hope you enjoyed it!

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

[simping4villains]

As requested, here’s the fourth chapter of my latest Shiggy fic, Losing Streak. I update more regularly on Wattpad and ao3, so check there for more chapters! I’m also happy to take requests so dm me if you’ve got one <3

~~~~~

Warning: Sexual content, non-con elements

   You decided to skip the rest of your classes that day. It wasn't like you could've actually focused anyway. You received a few concerned replies from your professors after your initial email letting them know you'd be absent. It wasn't like you to miss a lecture.

   You laid in bed for the rest of the afternoon. You didn't even bother getting up to turn a light on once the sun had set, instead letting your bedroom remain dimly lit by the blue light of your phone as you aimlessly scrolled through social media. It was a pathetic attempt to try and distract yourself from what you'd be doing later that night.

   No matter how many hair tutorials and life hack videos you watched, you still couldn't shake the questions that bounced around inside your head. How did those photos come into existence? How could you stop them from being spread? And, most importantly, was there a way to do it without having to fuck Shigaraki?

   You weren't sure what was worse: the thought of having sex with him or the very real possibility that you might've done it already. That was what the photos led you to believe, anyway.

   A knock sounded at your door. You didn't respond, but Hana let herself in anyway.

   "You're still in bed? You should be getting ready."

   She was right. You had to leave soon. Though it wasn't like Shigaraki struck you as the kind of guy who'd care if you put any effort into your appearance or not. He had demanded a blowjob from you while you were wearing a hoodie and sweatpants, after all.

   "The guys are going to be here soon."

   You looked up at her, confused. "The guys?"

   "Oh my god. Don't tell me you forgot?"

   "What?"

   "The party? The one we're hosting in like twenty minutes?"

   "Party? I thought it was just the two teams coming over."

   "It is, but you know how the guys can get."'

   You did, which is exactly why you hadn't wanted them in your home in the first place. At least this meant your time with Shigaraki would have a silver lining—that you would have an excuse to miss all the 'fun.'

   "I won't be around tonight," you told her.

   "What? But when I asked the other day you said you were free. What are you doing?"

   "I'm supposed to meet up with Shigaraki."

   You hoped you'd said it casually enough that she'd connect a different set of dots and think the two of you were just studying. She took the bait.

   "On a Friday night? Just cancel! We have so much time left for those stupid projects anyway."

   "I can't. It's important."

   "More important than bonding with your team? Don't you want to make captain next year?"

   You did. Hana was a year above you, and before she graduated she'd be giving the coach her recommendation for who she thought should take her place. You couldn't imagine she'd recommend anyone but you—she knew how strong your work ethic was—still, her frustration was palpable.

   You bit your cheek, wondering how lenient Shigaraki might be. "I mean, I can ask him if he's alright with rescheduling."

   "Let me know what he says," she called over her shoulder as she left, closing your door again.

   You pulled up your conversation with him on your phone.

You: "Hey, I forgot I have a team thing tonight. . ."

   His response was immediate.

Shigaraki: "Skip it."

You: "Can't we just reschedule?"

Shigaraki: "I don't like to be kept waiting."

You: "What's one more day?"

Shigaraki: "What's 5,000 people seeing your tits?"

You: "Fine."

Shigaraki: "Don't be late."

   You wanted to push back and write 'Or what?' but you worried he'd take it as a challenge to make your night hell. So instead, you rolled out of bed, grabbed your bag, and headed downstairs. Hana, Akiko, and your other roommate, Jin, were all in the living room, dressed in their usual party attire of ripped jeans and crop tops. They were pulling out packages of red solo cups and setting up a beer pong table.

   "That doesn't look like a party outfit," Jin joked as she saw you.

   You hadn't bothered changing or anything. You were still in the same hoodie and sweatpants you'd thrown on in a rush that morning.

   Hana looked up at you and frowned. "I'm guessing this means you couldn't get out of it?"

   You nodded.

   "Wait, what?" Akiko asked, looking between the two of you. "Are you skipping out on tonight?"

   "Yeah, sorry."

   Hana turned to her. "She's ditching us for a boy."

   Akiko gasped. "No way! Y/n never dates! Who is it?"

   You rolled your eyes. "It's not like that at all."

   "It's Shigaraki," Hana said.

   Akiko's expression fell, going from excited to horrified in seconds.

   "We're just doing homework," you assured her. "It's not like I want to hang out with him."

   Hana shrugged. "Then don't."

   "Come on, cut her some slack," Jin said. "You know how she is about grades. Besides, I'm sure she already feels bad enough just missing out on the party."

   Honestly, you were glad to miss the party, and you had a feeling that Jin could tell, but you appreciated her sticking up for you nonetheless.

   "Well, there's always the next one," Hana conceded. "Don't work too hard."

   "Thanks," you smiled. "Have fun tonight. Tell the team I said 'hey.'"

   "Will do," she smiled back.

   They waved you off and you began your funeral march across campus. You shrugged against the chill of the air, once again having forgotten to grab your jacket on your way out of the house. At least earlier the sun had been out to help a bit, but it had set hours ago. You hated how short the days were in the fall.

   The address Shigaraki had given you was for an apartment building kind of down the block from the pub you'd stopped at the night before. You were a bit worried you wouldn't make it in time, but you knocked on his door with seven minutes to spare. To your surprise, he wasn't the one to answer. It was another boy with acne-scarred skin and spiky pink hair that pointed every which way.

   "Oh, sorry. I think I must have the wrong address."

   He looked at you with disbelief. "Are you Y/n?"

   "Yes."

   "Shiggs, she's here!" He called over his shoulder before stepping aside and gesturing for you to come in. Hesitantly, you did. "He's gaming, but you can just go in. His room is down there on the right." He pointed toward the end of the hallway.

   "Thanks."

   You followed his directions to Shigaraki's door. No response came when you knocked. Feeling uncertain, you looked back at the other boy to find him nodding and gesturing for you to go in.

   Taking a deep breath to collect yourself, you turned the knob. Immediately, you were met with a distinct smell—it was that of a typical college boy's dorm, only ten times worse. The air in the room felt incredibly stale and almost muggy. Shigaraki didn't look up when you came in. Like the other boy had said, he was busy gaming.

   "Hey," you greeted, shutting the door behind you.

   "Hey," he mumbled in response, not bothering to peel his eyes from the screen. "Gonna be a sec."

   You frowned. It pissed you off that he'd made such a fuss about you being on time, but here he was making you wait around. You threw your bag down and moved to stand next to him, crossing your arms over your chest. "You know you picked the time I was supposed to get here, right?"

   "I wasn't sure you'd actually show."

   You scoffed. "As if you gave me a choice."

   "Just have a seat. I'm almost done."

   You looked around the room for a spot to sit while you waited for him to finish. The only source of light was his computer screen, but even that was enough for you to be able to tell that his bedroom was an absolute mess. There were empty cans and piles of dirty clothes strewn about. Not only was his bed unmade, but it didn't even seem to have a sheet on it from what you could tell. Unless you felt like clearing a spot on the floor, there was nowhere to sit.

   "Uh, do you have an extra chair?"

   He didn't answer, just wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you into his lap. You yelped as you crashed into him.

   "Relax. You're fine. No need to be so dramatic."

   "This isn't what I meant when I asked for a chair, you know."

   "Yeah, I know," He replied casually, resting his head on your shoulder so that he could see the screen. "But isn't this more comfortable?"

   "No, it's not," you insisted, shifting to keep his knees from jabbing into your thighs.

   His breath hitched. "Mm maybe don't move around too much."

   You froze, panicking as you realized that it you could feel his cock getting harder beneath you.

   He couldn't help but smirk when he felt you stiffen. He loved getting to watch you squirm when you were uncomfortable. It was cute seeing you all flustered. To add to it, he leaned in and whispered, "Unless you're trying to start something. Which, in that case. . ."

   Pausing his game, he snaked one of his hands underneath your sweatshirt. When he reached your chest he snorted. "No bra? Damn, you really did want this, huh?"

   "No, I didn't!" you snapped. "I was just in a rush."

   The first time. Why hadn't you put one on before leaving that night though? You'd had all day. Maybe you figured there was no point. Deep down, you knew where the night was headed.

   He started kneading your chest. "This whole time I thought you were some uptight bitch, but really you love being treated like a little slut."

   "No, I do—ah!"

   He pinched one of your nipples.

   "Oh, you liked that?"

   You did, but you would absolutely never admit that to him. You shook your head.

   "Really? I don't believe you."

   He started rolling the sensitive bud between the tips of his fingers. You bit your tongue, trying to choke back a moan.

   "Come on, no need to hold back for me."

   His other hand reached up to your jaw, gripping it in a way that forced it open. You couldn't help the breathy moan that escaped as his fingers kept working your chest.

   He snickered. "I knew it."

   You hated him so much, but not as much as you hated your own body for actually enjoying what he was doing to you. Despite how much you tried to fight it, heat was quickly building between your legs as if you really did want him to be touching you like that. You couldn't let him think he was right about you.

   He shifted his legs so that one of them was wedged between yours. You knew what he wanted you to do before he even said it. "Ride."

   "W-What? No!"

   He yanked your head back by your hair so that he spoke directly in your ear. "I'm sorry, did it sound like a request? Fucking do it."

   Timidly, you rocked your hips. You couldn't stand the way your body welcomed the friction, taking pleasure in it.

   "Don't stop until you come," he said.

   It was meant to be humiliating. He wanted to break you down and make you feel worthless. So then why were you enjoying it so much? Each time your clothed cunt dragged against him felt like ecstasy—like your body was being given exactly what it needed.

   "That's it," he encouraged as another moan escaped you.

   His mouth found its way to your neck. The rough friction of his lips caused you to shiver. Of course, it didn't go unnoticed by Shigaraki. You could feel him smirking against your skin before he latched onto you, sucking a bruise just above your collar bone. He let go with a 'pop' and pulled away to admire his work, humming in satisfaction.

   "I'm going to mark you up so that everyone knows you're mine."

   "I'm n-not," you protested weakly, barely able to get the words past another moan.

   He only laughed at you. "Are you joking? Look at the way you're falling apart on my thigh. Are you telling me that you act like this for just anyone?"

   The truth was, he was right. The sex you'd had in the past was pretty vanilla. You wouldn't normally be taking orders and humiliating yourself the way you were now, and you'd never been this close to coming with someone else—So. Fucking. Close.—but it's not like it was because of him. You were the one doing all of the work, after all.

   "I asked you a question," he growled, grabbing your hair in a threat to pull again.

   "I—ngh—" You were seconds away from coming undone. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to pretend you were anywhere but in Shigaraki's bedroom, using him to get off.

   "Oh my god. Are you coming?" He asked, suddenly excited. "Are you actually fucking coming right now?"

   "Shut up."

   Even with your eyes closed, you could tell he didn't like that response. He grabbed your jaw, prying it open so he could shove his fingers in your mouth. You weren't sure if he wanted you to suck on them or if he just wanted to teach you a lesson for talking back, but either way, you bit them as you came. Surprisingly, he didn't complain.

   Before you had a chance to come back to earth, he told you to turn around. You didn't want to, but obeyed. He shifted so that you were straddling him. In this position, you could feel how hard he was. It made your stomach churn anxiously as you wondered how he'd make you deal with that.

   He moved his hand between the two of you, reaching to slide it under the waistband of your sweatpants. Your immediate reaction was to try to stop him. You grabbed his wrist, which only earned you a warning glare.

   You had to play by his rules if you wanted to save your reputation.

   You let go, feeling even more nauseous than before as his spindly fingers dipped under your panties, coming into contact with your clit. You drew in a sharp breath. You were still so sensitive.

   You hated the grin that spread across his face. "You really are a slut after all, huh? You're fucking soaked."

   You couldn't even respond because you were too busy proving his point, moaning as his fingers explored your folds, curling inside of you. Your hands found their way to his hair, lightly tugging as if begging for more. God, you'd never hated yourself so much in your life.

   His eyes watched your every reaction as his fingers explored deeper, dragging over that spot that made your brows knit together each time he pulled them out. He'd never really thought about kissing anyone until he met you—until you fell so perfectly into his lap. And here you were now, practically writhing from his every touch, not daring to refuse him. So why was he so nervous?

   You tugged at his hair again—god, he loved when you did that—and he decided that it meant you were trying to pull him closer. It meant that you wanted him. So, he closed his eyes and leaned in to kiss you.

   It was sloppy. He didn't really know what he was doing and you didn't seem particularly interested in kissing back. He decided you were probably too distracted by what his hands were doing to actually try. He'd started hitting that spot your liked more aggressively. He wanted to be the one to make you come, to watch as you unraveled at his touch, and he could tell it was working. He kissed you deeper as he felt your walls starting to clench, happily swallowing your moans as they entered his mouth. For a moment it felt like maybe you had kissed him back, but he could have been imagining it.

   He pulled away so he could look at you. Your eyes were still closed and your breathing was heavy. A sense of pride bubbled in his chest knowing he'd actually managed to make you feel good.

   Maybe he wasn't such a hopeless virgin after all.

   You opened your eyes again to find him staring at you with wonder, like you were the most incredible thing he'd ever seen. Like you were something to be had. You were worried he was going to try to kiss you again, but instead he opened his mouth, tugged at your waistband, and said the last thing you wanted to hear.

   "Take these off so I can fuck you already."

[shanmthebrave]

“Are you ready, Leo~?”

“I’m always ready, Azucena.”

“Hehe, great!”

The literal definition of Yapper x Listener - An Leo x Azucena (AzuLeo appreciation/persuasive post) -TEKKEN 8-

~TW - HE/HIM LEO~

Like, Azucena would yap about coffee and Leo wouldn’t mind :)

His laugh and the way he casually answers Azucena that he’s from Germany WHILE IGNORING THE FACT THEY’RE IN A WAR-ZONE BECAUSE THAT DON’T MATTER WHEN YOUR FAV COFFEE CELEBRITY IS IN FRONT OF YOU

Bro she’s gonna send you coffee for being a fan, like a good celebrity doessss

Also he’s ignoring the fact for a moment that she’s with G-Corp…and also also asking at the end what her true purpose was…

Tbh to me Azu’s purpose with this sudden conversation was either:

She really wants to promote her coffee ☕️

Or she finds Leo interesting (Whether Platonic or Romantic)

Either way, we can leave it to imagination :) but I’d always pick red or both

CAN WE ALSO NOT IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE GAVE LEO A WINK AND BLEW A KISSSSS?! ACKKKKKK

Their only interaction in the story has implied that Leo already knew Azucena before their canonical encounter. Their lines during chapter 10 are proof contributing to this:

Observation from their Chapter 10 interaction:

An instant recognition, Leo’s got good observation skills. He’s kinda shocked that she’s with G-Corp. Understandable, since the people in G-Corp are pretty bad people, and seeing Azu, a person who he knows well for her coffee (only revealed after the fight), working for them, his shock becomes understandable.

Azucena’s motives confuse Leo, as she’s promoting her coffee by working with G-Corp, the company that well, 💀 his mom. Ouch.

Despite that, after their fight, Leo reveals that he’s a a fan of her coffee. AND AZUCENA FINDS HER FELLOW COFFEE DRINKER!

She offers to make a special order for him, and LEAVES THE FIGHT WITHOUT CONSIDERING ITS A WAR-ZONE, IS SHE EVEN OKAY?!

Well she is seen in the good ending so we can assume that yes she did make it

Leo is just standing there, confused as to what her real purpose was (which I covered in the point above)

Now, let’s talk about their lines during their fight and their meaning behind it, and compare this interaction to Leo’s fight with Jin:

When Leo successfully lands a hit, he says lines to try and diffuse the fight, rather then try to continue the counter offensive, unlike what he did with Jin, where his distrust in him is evident.

He says: “Open your eyes!” And “There’s no reason for us to fight!” Clearly showing that he doesn’t wanna fight Azucena. Rather, to convince her to stop siding with G-Corp.

Unlike his fight with Azucena, his interaction with Jin is a tad more hostile, as we know Jin did some pretty messed up stuff, which provoked Leo to initiate a spar with him. However, Azucena chose to fight Leo instead, when he clearly didn’t want to.

Now, let’s chat abt Azucena’s POV. She really just wants to promote her coffee, but also broaden her horizons for new blends, perhaps. Maybe find a fellow coffee enthusiast or a strong opponent (latter is the most likely motive).

When Azucena lands a hit, she only has one line: “Come on, let’s have some fun!” AS IF THIS ISNT A WAR ZONE AND ITS A FRIENDLY SPAR.

She seems to enjoy fighting Leo. This is especially shown when she gets defeated and flips back, exclaiming “You’re pretty good!” As if acknowledging his skill.

This pretty much shows that the entire time, she was fighting for fun, forgetting that she got herself into a war. It makes me laugh inside tbh. Haha.

Oh you think we’re done? Nope cuz we’re covering a lil bit about their character episodes too!

Leo meets Azucena in the final stage. Huh. What a coincidence.

There’s not much to say in this, other than the fact that both of them fight Yoshimitsu in the first stage. lol.

✨Special Interactions!!!!✨

Is there really any points we can make?! It’s so cute! And random…but funny and quite welcoming.

It’s not everyday someone encounters you and declares themself the coffee queen and tries to KICK you while you try to process everything (lol)

The pure surprise in Leo’s face never fails to make me laugh. Bro looks so perplexed and afraid 😭

And Azucena kicking him without warning is so random and even more silly, like give this man some time to process you woman 😂

When Azucena wins, she tells Leo that a good coffee takes time to brew, as if encouraging him that he’s doing great and he will get better, like a sparring partner that gives him feedback.

On Leo’s end, he’s awfully happy he won and says it’s time for a coffee break, something he says ONLY when he wins against Azucena. It’s as if fighting her reminds him of his liking for coffee.

Now, I will give my reasons why I love shipping Azucena and Leo together.

They have cute/canon interactions

The relationship has potential

Special intro pass

They relate over the one thing that got them together: COFFEE

Leo likes her products and is a big fan of her.

Azucena seems to enjoy his presence and wants to encourage him to get stronger.

Even tho Azucena sided (formerly) with G-Corp (not confirmed if she stopped working with them), Leo’s pretty chill and is willing to forgive her (Seeing as he forgave Jin, a literal war criminal)

It’s just cute. It’s so random, it’s adorable

It also just works in a way. They’re the literal definition of Yapper x Listener

She would yap to Leo about coffee and whatnot and he’d be so chill with her.

A cute, energetic girl with a shy, gentle boy trope, dominant girlies with gentle boys are just so funny and adorable to watch.

Welp, I can’t add any more photos and I’m running out of ideas, so in conclusion, the points I want to make is:

- AzuLeo is a very cute ship

- It’s hella under appreciated

- It may be random, but who says we can’t ship what we want and promote them?

- I love these two coffee lovers

- BANDAI NAMCO, GIVE THEM MORE SCENES TOGETGER, AND I WILL BE HAPPY. PLEASE!

- Azucena is overhated. Period.

- The creators of Tekken said we can call Leo any gender we want cuz Leo is…Leo. So I’ll call him a male.

I don’t rlly expect people to like the ship after this post. And that’s okay with me. As long as I’m happy and passionate posting what I like. ❤️

If you made it here, thanks for reading through my entire ship post haha. I hope you will start to like this ship or perhaps tolerate it if you hate it. Whatever happens, or if your opinion doesn’t change, at least I’ll be happy, cuz I spoke my mind on something I like :)

[allthefujoshiunite]

Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments from "Love for Sale"?

Thanks, Nora, because of you I found this manhwa, and it became one of my top fav BL ever.

Oh, have you read, "Dear Gene" by Azuma Kaya? It's also one of my favorite BL ever.... (Sorry if you already know it and don't really love them).

I can't put into words how happy it makes me that you liked Love for Sale... I don't think even Dal Hyeonji would feel this happy about someone liking their work SHFKUS but it's just SOO dear to me! Thank you for giving it a chance.

Obviously, there will be spoilers for Love for Sale below.

As for my top 5 moments.

The moment Namwoo finally realizes that he's the horndog in the relationship lol. From the moment they met, he's fixated on what he can provide for the money he's taking from Sieon, and since he's so rich and can literally buy anything he wants, there must be one thing and one thing only he wants from Namwoo: sex. Namwoo thinks Sieon must be a pervert for spending so much money on him (thus expecting a lot of sex in return) but it's actuallly him that constantly initiates sex. I kept waiting for the moment of realization!

The night Sieon went up to Namwoo's apartment to try his "toys". This is another favorite of mine because of how casual, funny and sexy at the same time. Still giggle whenever I remember Namwoo's middle finger action xD

Namwoo's realization that his sunbae was actually in love with him as well. I honestly didn't see this coming?! Probably because we never get to see his side of the story, and his "advances" could only be read as friendly invites. I should've been suspicious because I knew he picked up the nature of Namwoo and Sieon's relationship when they've first seen each other at the mall.

Namwoo and his sister Eunjung having a Love Declaration Olympics in the middle of a crowd. I mentioned in another answer that I love Eunjung for several reasons, and that scene is both so hilarious and emotional, I couldn't help but add it to the list. I love all of their interactions but this one probably takes the cake.

Sieon's blush. You know which chapter I'm talking about, right? xD I wouldn't believe you if you were to tell me that seeing a character blush after 70+ chapters would make me cry but here we are. This is top grade story-telling. Building everything up until such a "minor" point AND having a cathartic pay off, I can only bow down.

WHEW. Thank you for giving me another chance to gush about Love for Sale, because I feel self-conscious lol. I keep inserting the series whenever I get an ask or start blabbing unprovoked... Anyways. There were a lot more I liked about it, like our redhead with anger management issues looking back on his relationship with Sieon, or Namwoo's heartfelt convo with the female friend in his friend circle, OR Sieon reuniting with his mother. It's so hard to pick. But anyways, I'll stop here before I list anything and everything that transcribed in the series.

As for Dear Gene. I did read the parent manga, The Scene of My Rumspringa and liked it a lot! You can feel the weight and importance of the theme to the author, because only then you get a delicate story packed with emotions. Dear Gene was recommended to me as well, but I want to wait for the official English release because my Japanese is not at a level where I can comfortably read manga. I can get by with dictionaries and apps when the BL has your run of the mill story, I usually guess what's gonna happen from the very first chapter anyway. But BLs with deeper conversations and topics are hard to get through. I'll leave it to the translators and enjoy when I can. I'm looking forward to it!

[starlightandetherealshadows]

Howdy, it’s the fun fact not anon, I’m going to fully keep it a buck fifty, I sent a fun fact last night but my tumblr is being weird as hell and something was going on with the Wi-Fi i was using? So I’m just gonna say the same stuff again and if it went through this is sadly not a new fun facts.

Last night I was ridiculously eppy after spending the day with friends, so my initial fun fact as literally something I had just found out about and had no relevance whatsoever, which was that apparently glasses that can make subtitles are supposed to be coming out sometime in the near future, so if that works it’s pretty cool.

Then I got derailed(or re railed? Since it was a semi relevant fun fact. Either way I was very excited it came to mind,) because I did have a fun fact: It’s the classic we casually have more computing power in our phones than it took to send people to the moon in 1969. When I was trying to look up specific numbers, I found out that nowadays some fancy USBs have more computing power than the guidance computer on Apollo 11.

Then I ended it off with an ask: How do aliens react to humanity’s ability to do buck wild shit with relatively limited resources or technology? I.e using limited computational power to send someone to the moon, building gigantic pyramids, being a general nuisance to any invader, etc.

Then I proceeded to get absolutely 0 sleep until like 5:30 am.

Hi my friend!!!

So happy to get another fun fact from you!!!

As spooky as the direction of technology is going, I also think it's super cool that we've done so much with so "little?" Even the thought of the moon landing is kinda crazy to me like omg we DID that!

Or airplanes! or being able to call people all over the world! or being able to have fully translated conversations with people using your phone. it's all very cool.

I think the aliens would be just as impressed! Not because the tech is more advanced, but because it can actually keep up with some of their own. They would be ticked by the cell phone, for sure. The concept of "apps" makes them giggle a bit.

"You got games on your phone" headasses!!!

Always great to hear from you!!! Hope you're having a great day!

All my love,

Cheye

[thegeminisage]

tng night the second: naked now and code of honor. verdict: oh man.

really excited initially about a sequel to naked time, easily among the best ever tos episodes. but this is too early! even in tos we'd gotten a short time to know them as they are normally before they did All Of That

also this episode was. uh. not great. for starters, the inhibitions being lowered in meant different things to everyone...except the women. ALL THREE major female characters instantly turned into boy crazy sex fiends, which is particularly tragic for tasha bc she has major lesbian swag.

wesley continued to be annoying in this episode. i want to like him because he seems like a nice and eager kid (even if it is still fucking bonkers to me that kids are allowed on a starship), but the problem is he'll do some stupid bullshit that kids are wont to do and instead of like mothering him at all crusher IMMEDIATELY begins making excuses for him and getting defensive if anybody says anything to him. so also i realized i do kind of like crusher, especially when she gives picard shit, except every time she starts to grow on me she just lets wesley do whatever he wants and the i'm like :| again

also, what is UP with tasha yar. RAPE GANGS??? she just drops that into casual conversation while trying to fuck an android?? hello?????

lmao that data fucks also. i'm so glad actually. love and light it's so hard when people make androids asexual. i'm never opposed to any ace headcanon ever they're all fundamentally correct every fictional character IS ace so true but cmon. a robot??? it's better this way. good for him.

also, why did crusher get infected AFTER riker but succumb before him?? like are women just that weak lmao

perhaps the most interesting character in naked now was geordi, who got absolutely no resolution to the interesting setup they gave him, which is pretending he's satisfied with the way things are re: his vision and the prosthetic he uses, and then revealing that perhaps he's actually secretly not. that was neat. every time he's onscreen i'm like "i'd like to know more about that guy" and every time they're like "no <3"

code of honor was somehow even WORSE. apart from like. the obvious sexism and racism. we also had tasha yar once again being like "oooh i would love this big savage black man to ravish me that did make me feel so sexy" which. what the FUCK

AND ALSO a scene with crusher that annoyed me, because she went from "oh why can't i as a doctor show professionalism" (she's a woman) and then also in the middle of the crisis "can i bother you to let my son on the bridge even though he's a child i speak As A Mother (woman)" like girl...ik you love your son but he doesn't need free roam of a fucking starship. he is a baby. he needs to be in class. this was crusher's only scene in the entire episode btw she quite literally had 8 lines and they were all about how much of a woman she was.

i just feel like if we are going to do this to women we should go back to not having them. like shadowhunters. if you can't treat those ladies properly you have to put them back on the shelf until you're a grown-up.

we looked up a few skip/watch lists but none of them agree with each other. i'm too paranoid about missing vital info/context and i wanna see them all anyway even the bad ones but like...this is ROUGH. i know i know i KNOW it is going to get so, so much better. but good god.

[sleepyowlwrites]

Hi sleepy! Here for story teller Sunday

Tell me more about R Blakesley in the Youth Story. What’s their power, and *tucks hair behind ear* do tell their favorite ways to self-destruct.

hooooooooooookay.

Roland Everett Blakesley is seventeen, and a middle child. he's six years younger than his older brother, but only two years older than his younger brother, Callum (Cal). R and Cal are very close, since their parents are often both away on business trips and their brother Leander is in university.

R doesn't like his name, which is why he goes by a single initial. it's dumb, just like he is. R is a flirtatious, dramatic boi, prone to saying things he only halfway means just to distract from a subject he doesn't want to talk about, or to stir up conversation on a subject he wants to focus on. he's very affectionate, very casually so, but he still puts a lot of weight and meaning into how he affections his friends. he tries to tailor his care to everyone's specific tastes, but often gets lazy and reverts back to his default: hugs and flirting. Evie and Savannah call him out on it the most. Evie does because she's blunt and doesn't hold back when she wants to say something, and Savannah because she feels everybody's emotions and doesn't appreciate when anyone is clouding up the air with colors (of emotions) because they're not very straight about something.

R's power is projected thermography, which means he can print pictures onto objects from his mind. he uses it mostly to create pictures for the photo albums Cal makes - mostly for Nyks, but for all of them since Nyks shares - and also because he has a terrible memory and making pictures is the only good way to make sure he remembers things.

R's favorite way to self-destruct is to create trouble with someone, ignore that it's hurting both him and the other person, and then feel guilty about it and hurt and sulk while struggling to apologize and potentially receive forgiveness. he wants to be the hero that he think Cal needs him to be, but is very bad at being responsible for his own words and feelings and being accountable for them, either. he's responsible for others, just not himself.

at the start of Youth Story, R is engaged in a mutual dislike and fight-on-sight arrangement with Mark, so they can postpone dealing with their teenage angst by punching each other a few times and then never talking about it, despite having the same friend group. everyone is trying to get them to stop doing that, and they gradually do, even behaving passively around each other until they work up the courage to apologize. and then they're really awkward for a bit while Mark is unsure of how to act around R and R is just acting like he and Mark were never "enemies" to begin with, which means flirting, drama, and affection. it's delightful, they're both so dumb. their friends literally tell them this.

receipts:

“You guys are so stupid,” Evie grumbled. “R, apologize, too.”

R tugged Nyks toward him and wrapped his arm around the less than solid boy*. “I’m sorry. I’m stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Nyks mumbled. “You’re just dumb.”

and

Then Cal turned to him, a bright spark**, and Mark noticed that there were no lamps turned on, only this sweet boy's smile, and clarified, "R texted me. He said he might have offended you."

"Which we took to mean that he definitely offended you, because he's R and if his mouth is open he's offending someone." Irina stuck her chin out at Cal. "What?"

Cal dimmed only slightly. "Don't be rude. What did my idiot brother say, Mark?"

*Nyks' power is phasing and he doesn't have the best control after he was struck by lightning that one time.

**Cal's power is light manipulation, and he glows when he's happy.

and a bonus, after R and Mark are sort of friends now:

Mark squints off the to side before looking back at R’s grin with not nearly the hardest glare, hands rustling in his jacket pockets. “Can we go inside now? It’s cold out here.”

“Yeah, it is.” R rubs his own hands together.

“Why’d we have to meet outside to begin with?”

“I thought it might help defuse our tempers.” R is eyeing his shoes with disinterest.

Mark exhales a bigger breath and it lingers in the air for a couple of extra seconds. “You’re so stupid.”

R’s face lights up as their eyes meet. “I am! Therefore I should not be held accountable for my actions.”

“Don’t even try.” Mark moves past him and nudges his arm with an elbow. It feels oddly natural, but he isn’t going to analyze it just now. “You wanna freeze? Come on.”

it's been a while since I revisited Youth Story. I was gonna try and write the first draft this year. I still can. I have no idea what I'll be doing for April camp nano, which has been my best writing month for the past two years. hmm.

thanks for asking, Inkspell!

[lustrumlane]

Action Replay || Witness(es) || RE: Maya, Dante, Emerson, PACKET-MAN

Many questions get many answers; the witnesses start to answer.

“Eee-ee-eek,” he says in a dolphinny way, “Bad news, scoreboard, the paddleheads said we can’t really say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to whether or not someone killed the ‘victim’ or not as a witness in this jacked up freak court, but I can say I didn’t shoot him, and you didn’t tell me you were gonna, and I didn’t see you kill anyone, and that we were together from after I ran away from shooting Matt onward, aaaand I never saw this Uroro fella, which is about the same, right?”

Poly steps side to side, back and forth, and flaps his flippers as the others ask questions.

“Now you have to listen to me— and I hope it sucks! I reely don’t know no-fin useful, I think, but I’ll play ball, whateveeeer.”

“When I saw Matt— the silver guy, right?— he got all cagey and was trying to talk to me about something, and of course I go, ahh, do not do this jackpot to me right now— I just got here, I’m not ready for the murder yet, and this guy doesn’t even have a screen yet so I can’t even pull the old ‘seize-and-desist’ on anyone! He started getting close to me and I panicked— I shot the ever-flipping skillshot out of him! I didn’t realize it would be so loud, I ran out of there soon as I did it. Before the stairs, I saw some kind of sparkly, effeminate figure and got scared and jumped out a window.”

PAIMON speaks calmly. Its voice is a slightly effeminate, level, polite automated voice, in contrast to Poly’s loud one. It’s somewhat similar to Hesychia’s, but has a detached calmness whereas Hesychia sounds cold and, ironically, more emotional.

“Many of you had been passing through the Hall to watch the videos I had intuited were being collected, from listening to passing conversations. I was unable to see, to remind those unaware: I could only hear thanks to the reconfigured speaker set up attached to my terminal. I could not tell you everyone that passed through.”

“At a point, I heard Victor’s voice. We had spoken earlier about him transporting me around the area so I may better know where I am; I wished to take him up on this. After some words were exchanged, I assumed it could not truly be Victor I was speaking to.”

“I decided to carry through anyway, in case Victor were in danger. I walked Poly through the relevant steps to allow me to upload myself onto Victor as well.”

“Then, it said, I will quote: ‘this guy has a machine gun arm and I don’t even know how to use it, can you help me, pretty please?’ I will note, the mistake is its, not mine, Victor’s model does not have a ‘machine gun arm’, it is an automatic rifle.”

“I saw the arm was broken. I also saw what Polybius.exe was as I was scanning all files on Victor’s system. It was determined a threat. I complied and supplied the knowledge to repair the gun to appease it as I started to delete Polybius from the inside to remove it from Victor’s systems.”

“I was not fully successful, only some files were deleted. I was forced to watch Polybius shoot Matt and leave to escape with PACKET-MAN, leaving behind the program now printed on the table. Alone in Victor’s systems, I did not let the reckless script run. I wanted to return to the Hall to return myself to my terminal, but the damage Victor had sustained was impairing operation. I did not leave him before we were assembled here.”

“This would all indicate I was in his system from the point of initial contact, prior to Matt’s shooting and before the arm was repaired, until just now when I was removed.”

“I was not able to be found nor removed by either Emerson nor PACKET-MAN. Both can confirm this. Victor’s systems are layered due to the type of computer implanted into his brain. In order to avoid irreversible brain damage from system errors, models such as this have a highly encrypted inner system that is nearly impossible to access at a casual pass. I stored myself in here once able to, because Polybius did not have access to this cortex either; he hardly had surface level permissions.”

Poly stares at PAIMON’s watch quietly. Then he laughs.

“Hee-ee-eee! I don’t know flip about computers, I couldn’t fix a gun or program a script to fry an egg! I probably needed the help! Did you scramble my memories a bit with that stupid trick of yours? I couldn’t remember some of that, the gaps were bugging me!”

“It is very likely.“

[thatinsufferablenerd]

A Day Late and a Dollar Short

I know, I’m late. It’s been kind of a weird week. The kids have been home for Thanksgiving break so refereeing takes up more of my time. We’re using the fireplace to keep the house warm instead of the heater, and tending it takes a surprising and annoying amount of effort. The daily high temperature has taken a pretty sharp decline from 70 degrees (F) last weekend to 50F today. My husband has been working this week too, which is such a relief. I’m still casually job hunting and having nightmares about working. Everything is fine and dandy here. : )

Holidays haven’t been great for me since becoming an adult. At first it was my work schedule keeping me from those events, and then it was realizing my dad’s family is not fond of children combined with the stress of my realizing just how big my husband’s family is. And then I realized I hate crowds and most of my in-laws, and that my own family (barring my mother) doesn’t really like me. And then we moved out of state, away from both our families. Every time a holiday comes around I try not to wade into the mires of what could have been or what actually was. It’s better for my mental health, it’s better for everyone involved, really. But the inevitable dip in mood and staring into the middle-distance are familiar companions to the holidays I’ve come to despise. 

I know that I’m bad at making and keeping friends. Finding things to talk about, getting past that boring fucking small talk, responding to messages, initiating conversation, sitting on the phone, all things that take energy, which I notoriously have very little of. I’m bad at it. I know that. I’ve also been traumatized by family and former friends being dismissive of or outright ignoring my interests, that I’m too much. I don’t want to bother anyone. I don’t want to answer the same three questions of ‘how are you?’, ‘how are your kids?’ and ‘how’s your husband?’ with the most bland variations of ‘doing well, thanks!’ forever. In spite of that, I’ve always wanted a close relationship with my brother and parents. I tried. I worked at it for ages. Inviting them out to do things, sending messages, making the time to call regularly and talk, trying to get into the hobbies they liked to spend time with them, to have something to talk about. Nothing worked. And it simply comes down to the fact that they don’t like me as a person. That I am undesirable company to them. Too different and unpalatable in comparison that only the most obligatory gestures are worth extending. 

So I try to be grateful that I have excellent excuses not to go home for the holidays. I can’t be at any Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, I live a thousand miles away and too broke to travel, can’t leave my dogs even if I did. My kids are picky eaters anyway. One won’t eat meat (or anything else really), and the other is so sensitive to texture that convincing them to try anything new is a frustrating uphill battle. We didn’t even have Thanksgiving dinner here because it’s too much effort to go through for just my husband and I to get sick of the leftovers. We had mashed potatoes and pumpkin pie with our normal dinner (that my youngest didn’t eat anyway). 

I got roped into a group chat with presumably family (half the numbers were family in my contacts but the other half was unfamiliar to me) to get the once a year ‘Happy Thanksgiving’ text and have nothing else directed at me or be engaged in conversation. Watching them talk about the normal expected plans from the outside opened up those old wounds yet again. It was a text chain, I couldn’t leave the chat and stop getting the notifications. It made me want to scream. I sent my mother a message, she told me their plans and what she had made, told me she would call me later. I still haven’t gotten that call. For a split second I imagined what it would be like to host my family or my in-laws at our house and literally started dry-heaving with the panic and revulsion I felt. 

God, I fucking hate the holidays. 

I wish I could tell you I finished my goals for November easily. That I got Bleach and Beowulf off my to-do list so I could move on to the impromptu picks in December. Unfortunately, I cannot do that. My entire month got derailed being caught up in reading the first two books in the Aurora Project series and being–ugh–social. I can’t say I’m that upset, however. I’ll just make Beowulf my classic pick for December and City of Last Chances my contemporary pick. When I finish Bleach, I’ll jump into Dan Da Dan. It’s such a popular series right now, and deservedly so. I want to read it week-to-week like I’m doing with One Piece, Spy x Family, and My Dress-up Darling. 

I have read the first couple chapters of City of Last Chances. That’s about all I’ve read in the last week that isn’t something I wrote or Discord messages. I wish I had taken the chance to sit in front of my fireplace with my book and just read. No distractions, no shouting from the other room, no getting up to let the dogs in or out every ten minutes, not being chained to the desk so I can reach the hookah hose. I wish I could hide in my bedroom or in my swing and devour half the book in a day. Maybe more. This book was compared to Les Miserables by Victor Hugo, a book I read and loved in high school. I just want to enjoy Tchaikovsky’s book. I want to get lost in it, I want to put together all the worldbuilding crumbs and find characters to like. I’ve liked what I read so far. 

I guess I can’t complain too much though. I’ve been very busy writing. It feels so nice to be productive again. In the interest of full disclosure, I write all the time. Yeah, Discord messages, but even though I’ve been slowly working on my project the last few months, I’ve been doing text RP instead. Probably more than one hundred thousand words over the last year, divided between me and the partner. And that’s ONE RP. I’ve been in others, too. But getting back to my project, adding about 6.5k in the last ten days, has been as strange as it has been satisfying. I kind of missed putting MS Word in the corner in a tiny window to work while I watch YouTube. I missed my process of reading and light editing in the morning, writing through the day and ending with a couple pages further than I started. 

I finally got my white board time this week too. I updated my map and notes, something I’ve been needing to do for a while. There’s still a lot to do, honestly. I didn’t want to get bogged down in the worldbuilding and fall into that pit fall, but I need a lot more than I have. I’ll be working on that this coming week. When my brain isn’t so wrapped up on being a diplomat between kids that pretend they hate each other. It’s been a while since I’ve had whiteboard time and I did genuinely miss it. My brain is so full of ideas right now that I can’t help but wonder if it’s just backlogged from being depressed and otherwise occupied. It also remains to be seen if any of the shit I’ve come up with is any good. 

The only thing I’ve been watching recently is the Dan Da Dan anime, which is fantastic and well worth the time. I could write an entire essay about it, and I probably will once I get into the manga. Until then, I’m starting to crave watching movies again. Ever After with Drew Barrymore and Shakespeare in Love with Gwyneth Paltrow are kind of my romance staples. Comfort watches I’ll put on when I’m needing brain stimulation or just want to turn my brain off. I want to watch the Spy x Family film since I haven’t yet. I want to watch Mononoke the Movie too. The art style alone has my interest before knowing that it’s derived from the television series of the same name (which I also might try to find to watch). I’m looking forward to spending a little time without headphones and on my couch instead of the desk. 

Here’s a list of some of the good fucking food I watched on YouTube this week: 

-The Chaotic Beauty of Momo and Okarun’s Love: Safeties on Rookie

-Is Our Obsession With Girlhood Infantilizing Us?: Shanspeare

-Are We Too Sensitive For Fiction?: Below the Fray

-Where is the Line Between Anti-Hero and Edgy: Savage Speaks

-How Tariffs Actually Work (ft Liz Dye): Legal Eagle

-How the F*ck Did Trump Actually Win?: FD Signifier 

-matt walsh crosses another line: The Queer Kiwi

-The Magic System Paradox: Tale Foundry

-Fantasy vs Reality: five weapons fantasy gets wrong: blumineck

-How to Write Better Chemistry: The Closer Look

-Flyswatting; How to Keep Unfair Fights Interesting: Squampopulous

-You’re Writing Themes Wrong: The Closer Look

-How AI is Killing Our Ability to Dream: Jessie Gender

-Capitalist Necromancy: The Danger of Nostalgia as Merchandise: Final Girl Studios

-The Problem With Smart Characters: MediaRetrospective

-Fan Letter: One Piece’s Impact : MelonTeee 

-The Paleogene Period (That We Know of) ft Ben G Thomas: Lindsay Nikole

Everything on this list specifically gave me something to think about and has stuck with me after watching. I watch more than just educational content, but I don’t include any of it in these lists not because I don’t think it’s good fucking food, I do, I just want to focus on the videos I watched that gave me food for thought. 

Stay safe out there, y’all. You are loved and deserve the best.