#Whic h I know is fucking bullshit in my reasonable brain but emotional brain hasnt caught up yet
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I've been a bit radio silent for the past few days, so idk life updates in the tags
#I went to a dance with a group of friends and it was already kinda weird#Bc there were 2 couples and then a pair who were going as a pair of friends#And like we decided to go to a park#Well not we exactly but they decided to go to a park 20 minutes out of the way#To take pictures#dont get me wrong very pretty park but like a couple miles out of the way of things#And communication was SO bad to me about the pictures and where they were going to be taken#And someone texted me that we were meeting at 4 but then texted me like a while before#That they were running late and pushed it to 430#So I didnt rush to get ready#But like then. As I left I was texted 'actually we weren't as late as we thought. Come whenever' so I got there at 4:20 (still earlier than#the altered time)#But everyone else was there and they took some pictures before i got there#Which is understandable. But I've only seen those pictures posted. Even though I was there and a bunch of pictures have me in them#So conspiracy brain is like ah yes they hate me and think I'm ugly and therefore posted none of the pictures I'm in#Whic h I know is fucking bullshit in my reasonable brain but emotional brain hasnt caught up yet#And lik#And the whole time we were taking pictures my friends damn girlfriend was like 'I'm so hot(temperature wise). I want to be done with this.#My face hurts from smiling' and like I know she had a long day before that but even my family member asked me afterward if she was always l#like that and I was like... yeah#And i want to like her bc i know my friend really likes her but she has done so many little things that piss me off#And I dont think I would ever be able to talk abt those things bc they are so small individually but together... all those things just make#her a person I really fucking dislike#And like I feel like the only person who has beef with her bc everyone else seems to like her#And so at the event I felt like the most useless 7th wheel#And I eventually left the group and went and ACTUALLY HAD FUN for the first time in the fucking night with another girl#And like I feel like I wasted time befriending the group i was with bc I had way more fun with someone else who I didnt spend time building#A relationship with#Anyways it was bizarre how much my mood changed when I went with someone who actually showed interest in me#I will meet a whole bunch of new ppl pretty soon so I hope to make a whole bunch of different friends.
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