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lady-divine-writes · 4 years

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Kurtbastian one-shot - “Revenge on a Car Napper” (Rated M)

Summary: After Kurt breaks an important promise to his boyfriend, Sebastian plans an appropriate revenge. (1390 words)

Notes: Assumes Kurt and Sebastian met at Dalton. Rating is for mention of a sexual act.

Read on AO3.

Sebastian tries to be nice about it.

“Kurt?”

He tries to be gentle.

"Hey, Kurt?"

He tries to wake Kurt slowly, the way a loving boyfriend should.

"Ku-urt? Wakey-wakey... "

But when Sebastian shakes his shoulder for the fifth time and Kurt doesn’t even blink, Sebastian loses his cool. He shoves him over, hard enough to jostle his head.

“Kurt!”

Kurt snorts indelicately, sitting bolt up in his seat like he heard a gunshot.

“(Shn-ick) Wh-what!? What happened? What’s going on? Did someone hit us? DID YOU REAR END SOMEONE WITH MY BABY!?”

Sebastian rolls his eyes, pulling Kurt's Navigator to the side of the road.

“No,” he says, voice tight with a desperate need to sleep. “Your baby is fine. We were supposed to switch off more than two hours ago!”

Kurt's eyes dart around the interior of the SUV, falling on the radio clock and blinking to bring the numbers into focus. He nods, arriving at some sort of silent understanding. “Right! Right, right, right… ” His eyelids flutter closed, head bouncing forward as he drifts back to sleep. Sebastian watches him nodding off and (seeing no other cars on the road, not that he'd really care if there were) slams his hand down on the horn.

Kurt’s eyes snap open, and he scrambles upright again. “I’m awake! I'm awake!”

“Come on, Kurt!”

“I’m sorry!”

“We had a deal! You knew you were supposed to take a shift! Why did you take that Goddamned Ambien to begin with?” Sebastian whines, quickly coming to terms with the fact that Kurt is probably in no condition to drive regardless of whether or not Sebastian is in danger of dying in his seat.

Which he is.

“You know I get sick on long car rides," Kurt says through only half his mouth and with one eye open. "It was either I sleep or I vomit. Which would you have preferred?”

“At this point,” Sebastian growls, teeth clenched, “I wouldn't care if we were swimming in your partially-digested dinner as long as I could put my head down for an hour!”

Kurt glares at Sebastian with disgust. “Ewww! That's an image,” he says, head dropping onto the headrest behind him, eyelid falling shut.

“Kurt?” Sebastian waves a hand in front of Kurt's face, trying to assess the consciousness of his drugged boyfriend. “Kurt?”

Kurt’s lips part and Sebastian hears him snore softly.

“Kurt!? Fuuuucccccckkkkkk!” Sebastian jumps up and down in the driver’s seat, smacking the steering wheel until his palms vibrate with pain. His tantrum pauses momentarily when he surrenders to a yawn, realizing with dismay that he’s wasting the little energy he has left while on a road with no turnouts for him to pull over and take an emergency snooze.

Sebastian sighs, defeated. He puts the Navigator back into drive and resigns to keep going for as long as he can.

He'll find a way to get back at his boyfriend later.

An hour down the dark and lonely road, Sebastian’s mind swirls with ways he can exact revenge on Kurt. It might not be the nicest subject to dwell on, but for now, focusing on vengeance is the only thing keeping him awake. His eyes shift from time to time to peek at his selfish boyfriend resting comfortably in the passenger seat.

Bitterly, Sebastian pokes Kurt in the arm.

Nothing.

He smacks Kurt on the shoulder.

Still nothing.

He licks a finger and sticks it in Kurt’s ear.

Kurt shifts positions, mumbles nonsense. For a second, Sebastian is relieved, certain that a wet willy did the trick where all else has failed. But after a few unattractive grunts, Kurt settles down and starts to snore again. Sebastian changes lanes sharply. Kurt rolls toward the door, then flops back to his original position.

Not a stir.

“Un-fucking-believable.” Sebastian's eyes flick to Kurt, whose mouth has opened further, almost inhumanly, like a python unhinging its jaw to devour a rabbit.

“At least he’s not drooling. And thank Heavens no one important is here to see this,” he declares loudly, still trying in vain to wake Kurt up. “God forbid your friends from Vogue saw you with your mouth hanging open and your hair messed up.” He gasps dramatically. “What would Isabelle say?”

Sebastian's eyelids grow heavy, fighting to close, so he aims his face towards the cold air rushing in through the cracked window. With the frigid wind prying his lids open and its howling whoosh drowning out the wet rattle of Kurt’s snoring, he can think much more clearly.

And because he can think, he gets a nasty idea.

He pulls his iPhone out of its dock on the dashboard.

“I know you get angry when I use my phone while I drive,” Sebastian mocks an unconscious Kurt while activating his camera app, “but what you don’t know won’t bother you… yet.”

***

They reach their hotel a little after three in the morning. It’s too late for a dip in the hot tub to ease Sebastian’s stiff muscles, so he zeros in on the shower instead, determined to let the hot spray beat the ache out of him.

“I am so so so sorry,” Kurt repeats for the tenth time. “I totally… ”

“Forget it.” Sebastian reaches for his luggage, but a chipper and fully-energized Kurt swoops in and grabs it before Sebastian can pick it up.

“No, I was an ass. And I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“How about you drive the rest of the way to San Francisco,” Sebastian suggests. “This way I can spend seven hours sleeping this time.”

“Done,” Kurt agrees, kissing Sebastian’s cheek before leading the way to their room. “But in the meantime, why don’t you get the shower started… ” Kurt runs the keycard through the reader and unlocks the door, holding it open so a barely conscious Sebastian can stumble inside “... and I’ll join you in a bit to help polish your doorknob… ”

Sebastian chuckles. Polish your doorknob is their ridiculous secret code for an in-shower blowjob. It was a phrase they had come up with in high school so that they could talk about sex under their teachers’ noses and it kind of stuck.

Sebastian’s face lights up.

“You promise?” he asks, pulling Kurt into the room and wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I promise."

Sebastian smiles wider. “Swear on your entire collection of McQueen scarves that no matter what, you’ll come into the shower with me and… uh… polish my doorknob.”

Kurt’s eyebrows shoot up, surprised that Sebastian would feel the need to have him make such a promise. But seeing how badly he broke the last promise he made, he supposes it's only fair.

“Of course,” Kurt reassures him. “You know how much I love it. And after what you've been through tonight, you deserve to have your doorknob gleam like the top of the Chrysler Building.”

“Great.” Sebastian kisses Kurt on the forehead. “I’ll get the water started.”

“I’ll be with you in a second. I want to check Facebook." Kurt slides out of his coat. He fishes his cell phone out of his pocket and unlocks the screen. “Our East Coast friends should be awake by now. I want to update my status. Make them all pea green with envy.”

“You do that.” Sebastian grabs his toiletries and walks into the bathroom, maniacal grin on his face. He shuts the bathroom door and stands quietly behind it, listening to Kurt mutter as he checks his home page.

“Wow!” he calls out so Sebastian can hear. “I have thirty-two new notifications! We’ve only been gone for a day… what!?”

Sebastian throws a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter.

“What the… ?” Kurt's voice grows more and more agitated as he flips through recent posts.

When he sees photos he was tagged in overnight.

There’s an unnerving beat of quiet, and then: “SEBASTIAN!”

“Hurry up, babe,” Sebastian manages through guffaws. “You promised to come in and polish my doorknob.”

The bathroom door shakes violently with the force of the shoe Kurt throws at it. Sebastian jumps away from the door before something heavier follows. He undresses quickly, steps into the shower, and turns on the spray.

So maybe he won’t get his blowjob. But for now, revenge feels much, much better.

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builder051 · 3 years

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Won't be your victim

Powers/No Powers. Bucky vs Depression storyline. TW for food mentions. (Reminder that I don't take food recs, but do occasionally venture there on my own.)

___________________________

We play games of love to avoid the depression We been here before and I won't be your victim

___________________________

Steve pours the rest of the pancake batter into the pan, wondering why he's bothered with the double batch. He'd gone right along with the usual recipe, even though things haven't been usual for a while. He sighs and drums the spatula gently against the edge of the stove, then goes in to flip the sizzling cake. It's too pale at the center, probably still full of raw batter.

Steve knows he's blown it; turning the pancake back over will only result in burnt edges. But it doesn't matter, though. It's not like anyone's going to eat this one anyway.

Bucky sits curled on the couch in the living room, periodically glancing up at the black television screen and, presumably, his own reflection. He doesn't look well. He hasn't for a few days, his face especially pale with dark shadows rimming his eyes. He hasn't been sleeping. Just lying there, breathing quietly while Steve rests overnight, then coming downstairs in the morning to take up space in stony silence until evening sets in again and he can feign tiredness so as to return to the bed.

When Steve first realized what was going on, he took a day off work to observe, then a second to encourage Bucky to do otherwise. When that didn't work, he called Bucky's psychiatrist.

"He won't do anything," he explained to Dr. Maximoff. "He's not sleeping either.

"He's maxed out on practically everything," the docter had said. "I can prescribe something for sleep, but you'll have to be careful with it. It's a controlled substance. you can't let him get ahold of it on his own."

"Don't worry; I keep everything locked up..."

Steve still hasn't brought himself to pick up the Ambien from the pharmacy. He keep's imaging Bucky in front of the linen clset where the meds are kept, lying on his face and foaming at the mouth, this time too deeply unconscious to spit whatever he's taken back up. Even though Steve doesn't tell him what's what, Bucky has an uncanny knack for being able to pry the lids off the most lethal of substances. Dealing with Bucky's mood is better than dealing with that.

Steve's startled back to the present when the scent of smoke rises to his nostrils. He quickly digs the spatula under the ruin of a pancake, now showing one side burned to a crisp.

Steve swears under his breath. Now the pale, almost certainly raw side is on the griddle again, creating a most unappetizing batter gusher between two smoky brown-black sides.

He glances over his shoulder as he lets the disaster languish in the pan. "You, uh, want a pancake, Buck?" Steve flips the burnt cake again, then pulls a plate from the cabinet so the seared bits won't soil the other pancakes already waiting. "I promise I won't give you this one." He's sure the odor of the char is apparent all through the house.

Bucky sits up a little and pauses, then slowly shakes his head. His mouth opens a sliver, but no sound comes out.

Steve's heart sinks a bit, and he realizes he's no longer hungry either. "Ok..." he sighs. He flips the crispy burned pancake into the garbage disposal, then covers the rest in plastic wrap.

"You want me to come sit? Watch TV?" Steve's grasping at straws now. Saturday is supposed to be their together time, and now Bucky's acting as if he couldn't care less. Steve's sure it's just the depression talking, but the shrug Bucky offers in response feels a little too much like a personal offense.

Steve turns around to grasp the edges of the sink. He drags in a slow breath, holds it for a moment, then lets it out, trying not to make a sound and alert Bucky to his frustration.

"Steve, I..." Bucky's sitting all the way up now. His voice holds a cryptic note, something desperate or apologetic or perhaps both.

"I know you're in a mood," Steve says into the broken silence. "And I'm sorry, I haven't been able to, you know, do anything about it."

"Not your job," Bucky mutters. He pulls his arm across his chest and twitches his stump shoulder. The gesture is clear, even if he can't make it properly.

"Well, it's my job to help you." Steve lets go of the sink and turns to face Bucky, though there's still half the downstairs between them. "All I can say is that I love you. I care about you. I want you to... feel better."

"So do I," Bucky huffs. "D'you think I don't?"

"Of course not." Steve feels sick to his stomach. He peels up a corner of the plastic wrap and tears off the side of a pancake, then jams it into his mouth. He chews twice, then swallows, hoping the carb load will absorb the sour taste growing at the back of his throat.

"You sure you don't want one of these?" Steve asks. "They're good for feeling better."

"Glad it helped you." Bucky's tone is hollow. Not rude exactly, but cold.

Steve removes the pancake pan from the still-warm burner and puts the kettle on the stove instead. He'll warm Bucky up into personhood, something he probably should've done days ago.

"Give that just a minute to boil," Steve says. Then he slowly enters the living room and pulls the afghan off the back of the sofa. "Here." He unfolds the blanket and holds it open, ready to spread it over Bucky's curled form.

Bucky maneuvers himself into a tighter ball, ready to accept the blanket, but shying away from Steve's hands. It's another hearty disappointment that Steve tries not to show on his face. Their relationship isn't new; they have no need to avoid each other's touch. Hypersensitivity is a thing, and Steve knows it, but this doesn't feel like it. The look on Bucky's face when he approaches isn't uncontrolled panic. It's just frustration. Unhappiness. Disdain.

"Alright. There you go." Steve pretends he doesn't notice Bucky's uncomfortable shiver and tucks the blanket up around his shoulders. "That ok?"

Bucky gives a curt nod.

"Ok." The kettle in the kitchen begins to whistle, and Steve turns his attention to preparing the tea he knows neither of them will drink. Once the leaves have steeped enough, he carries the mugs to the coffee table and sits on the opposite end of the couch, careful so as not let so much as a stray movement of his elbow brush against Bucky's swaddled feet.

"Buck, I..." Steve picks up his mug, which is hot enough to turn his palms red. "I love you. I want to be with you."

"Mm."

Steve looks sideways out of the corner of his eye just enough to see Bucky's minute nod. He lets out the tiniest breath of relief, then adjusts the mug in his hands to see if they've yet burned to a crisp.

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sourceofhealthllc · 5 years

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One of the best ways to improve energy is through a light guided meditation before bed; binaural beats have been studied to induce deep relaxation. When we sleep, we release Growth Hormone, a potent hormone of anti-aging and energy.

To summarize sleep, it is the single most overlooked part of our daily health. Sleep trackers are a great way to learn how you sleep.

2. Burst Activity & Endurance Training

Investing in some elbow grease is truly the single most important way to grow your number and size of mitochondria. It takes energy to make energy. Health is an investment.

When people are in a low-energy state, the thought of exercise causes panic. Before you stop reading this, there is a tipping point worth mentioning.

Long-distance and endurance athletes have been shown in muscle biopsies to have the highest number of mitochondria out of everyone on the planet. For most of us, we are not this type of person. What works and is manageable is doing high output, short-duration burst activities.

This can be sprinting or high-intensity interval training (HIIT). After a sprint, the quick energy our cells have is depleted, called the creatine phosphate cycle. Our cells are then triggered to send fuel into the mitochondria for ATP production.

Our main fuel is glucose, stored as glycogen (animal starch). This will run out within minutes and then fat can be shuttled in to be broken down for ATP.

Our body is very good at doing this but there are some factors that can switch our bodies off. Starting is the first step, the second is being consistent. If you are in a low-energy state, getting you moving is the key to making more energy.

3. Strength Training

Lifting heavyweight, specifically leg day is essential not only for our mitochondria but for healthy hormone production. By stimulating the legs (quads, glutes, and hamstrings), we, in turn, produce more thermogenic muscle.

This does not have to be a heavy cardio workout, but rather have the muscles recover for 2 minutes between sets. That is a long time between so what is great to do is stack a superset with it.

For example, deadlift followed by pushups. Let the legs recover and the next set will be better. An important reminder here is stability over strength.

Start with low weights and work on your form before adding heavier weights. This is a slow process, but the legs grow quicker than any other body group. Guys who walk around with big chests and toothpicks for legs are not doing it right (with what genetics are allowable).

4. Fasting

Time-restricted feeding is a discipline that can deliver incredible amounts of energy. Trending now is the term called intermittent fasting. It can be beneficial for not just weight loss but actually helping with insulin resistance.

Fasting, or periods of not eating, has been done since the dawn of time. The concept of 3 meals a day and snacks are really new to the human frame. For most of human existence, this was not the case.

What happens when we eat constantly is the food has to be digested, absorbed, and then assimilated which is a very labor-intensive process.

MTOR is the signal that regulates this storage pathway and shuts off AMPK. AMPK is the regulatory enzyme that stimulates autophagy and helps us repair, regenerate, and clean up inside our cells.

Level 1: The overnight fast

This is what we normally do on a daily basis. Ensure you get 12 hours without any calories between dinner and breakfast…that means no midnight snacks!

Level 2: Time-restricted feeding

Extending the overnight window to 14,16, and even 18 hours can be done periodically. This means all of your calories are consumed in a shorter window. This has great benefits and is definitely a great start to begin your journey into fasting and building more energy throughout the day.

Sundown to sundown is a 24 hour fast that is done across many religions which denotes how important taking a break from eating to focus inwards truly is.

Level 3: The reduced calorie fast

Consuming anywhere from 500 to 1000 calories per day appeals to most people. Examples of this are juice/shake cleanses, fasting-mimicking diets, and macro shifting aka low carb, low fat, or keto diets.

Level 4: The zero-calorie fast

Doing a longer therapeutic fast past 24 hours, medical supervision and clearance is recommended. The 72 hour fast appears to be the sweet spot for optimal results.

Do not expect to do what you normally do in that window. Hunger signals will reduce as your body shifts its metabolism into its stored energy. Please consult with a doctor who is literate in fasting before trying this one on your own.

5. Polyphenols, Peptides, and Other Supplements

From the supplement side of treatment to boost energy, we really have a couple of key pathways that can be up-regulated. NRF, SIRTs, AMPK, and NO pathways all seek to increase PGC -1 alpha, which directly signals for mitochondrial biogenesis.

This increases the number and size of mitochondria and in turn more potential for energy. Resveratrol, the polyphenol antioxidant in grapes has been well studied for its health benefits.

Most supplements are actually derived from Japanese Knotweed (Polygonum cuspidatum) which is high in concentration of resveratrol. This activates SIRT and NRF2 pathways which act upon the cellular antioxidant pathways.

One peptide worth mentioning is MOTS-c. MOTS-c inhibits the methionine-folate cycle resulting in the accumulation of AICAR (5-aminoimidazole-4-carboxamide ribonucleotide) which, in turn, activates the AMPK (5’- adenosine monophosphate-activated protein kinase). The latter is described as a sensor of cellular energy by monitoring the ratio of adenosine monophosphate (AMP) and adenosine triphosphate (ATP).

As far as other supplements go, the main goal is to act as a stimulant and suppress appetite. There are even medications that suppress appetite. This is not truly something that gives more energy but it’s out there.

Buyer Beware, Supplements Are Not Regulated And Many Work Just By Giving You Some Form Of Caffeine Which Is Not Real Energy!

Fiber is actually a great supplement to help bind toxins and waste during a cleanse and can help heal the gut. Fiber feeds beneficial bacteria aka probiotics.

These good guys make important byproducts that actually give us what we need. It’s that symbiotic relationship that must be there for great health. Seek foods that contain fiber first, but supplement if needed.

Level 6: Sauna And Cold Plunge

Saved the best for last! This is the recovery and self-care component and one of the cheapest and safest things you can do on a regular basis to boost energy levels. Sweating in a sauna directly stimulates mitochondria.

This can include far-infrared light which has good research on it, but the temperature shift is really what does the physiological action. Follow up a sweat with a cold plunge to create contrast.

This is ancient and effective. The problem is the “I don’t like cold” statement. Get started with something simple and very free. End your shower with a quick cold flash. Just turn that shower dial to the cold, then back to hot, then back to cold. Look how easy that is?

As we get more vibrant and tolerable of temperature shifting, a cold-water plunge is on its way. The cold of a 55-degree pool is really all you need here for the benefits. Work your way up in the amount of body under the water and time in the water.

For anyone with major health conditions, consult with your doctor first. Key to success – 10 deep breaths and don’t let your hands or head get under the water. That will create more of the shock sensation and shorten your duration in the plunge.

A Cold Plunge Is A Great Way To Increase Energy Levels

Studies have also shown that longer doesn’t mean better, especially after a workout. Freezing your body down or sweating too long after a workout can actually turn off the effectiveness of the workout. So, keep the cycles short. 5 minutes hot and 1-minute cold.

To summarize, the energy levels of our body are complex and multifactorial. When we can apply solid science to our bodies and see the results, life is great. If you are dealing with health issues and not sure where to turn to, seek a second opinion before buying another supplement or energy drink.

Please note that there are other causes of low energy states not mentioned here such as thyroid, adrenal, and sex hormone status that can affect energy levels. A comprehensive holistic plan must be put in place and measuring is an excellent way to track progress.

My advice is to hang in there and go slow but steady with your progress. Do this for the long-haul and see your vitality skyrocket.

About the Author

Dr. Steven Sorr is the founder and chief medical officer at Source of Health in Scottsdale, AZ and has been in clinical practice using regenerative medicine since 2013. He received his doctorate in naturopathic medicine from SCNM and is a licensed healthcare provider in Arizona.

Dr. Sorr brings a huge passion for life and a diverse educational background of food, yoga, and medicine to the Source of Health. His goal is to revolutionize the standard of care mindset by making significant strides in evidence-based therapies that are drug and surgery-free to restore high-level health for all.

The post How To Boost Your Energy Naturally appeared first on Source of Health: Functional And Regenerative Medicine.

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adsdirtectoryusa-blog · 6 years

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junker-town · 7 years

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THE TOP WHATEVER: TCU kicks every ass in Stillwater, Oklahoma and leaves in search of more asses to kick

It’s this week’s updated ranking of only the teams that really need to be ranked right now.

1. TCU.

There are more delicate ways of saying this, but football is not a delicate sport: the Horned Frogs are number one this week because they beat some ass.

How much ass? Piles of it. Railcars full of it. Market distortions happened because of the amount of ass TCU beat in its 44-31 win over Oklahoma State. Shipments of ass had to be rerouted from other supply lines of ass in order to be rerouted to Stillwater, where Gary Patterson and his team beat it. Cowboys booster T. Boone Pickens probably made a killing by buying shares of ass in the first quarter, and moving them around the market. He’s a Pokes fan, yes, but he’s an investor first, and he’s not going to turn down a profit when he sees one.

But TCU gave up 31 points.

Run your conversion charts. In a Big 12 game, 31 points is like 22 points in an ACC game and 10 in a Neanderthal SEC game. That’s Oklahoma State. They’re going to get points, including at least one TD off a perfectly thrown deep ball you can do nothing about. The impressive part comes in granting those points, destroying any sense of balance by stuffing the run game, and responding by running the ball with Darius Anderson, controlling the pace, then waiting on Oklahoma State to press and hand over some turnovers.

It’s an old-school approach to facing a high-powered offense, retrofitted with new school trappings, all installed by a defensive coach who understands the realities of winning in the Big 12. For this week, while the ass markets slowly recover, TCU will be No. 1.

2. Georgia.

Flattened Mississippi State, 31-3, and gets the MVP for eliminating any need to watch their game at all on a busy Saturday night. That’s how to courteously save time for the busy viewer: leap out to a lead, extinguish all hope of the opponent moving the ball, and wrap it up in about 20 minutes of actual time.

The offense looked fine, but the Georgia defense looked horrifying against a very good offense, dominating point-to-point along the line of scrimmage.

This is to say that even if the Georgia offense doesn’t get to throw a flea-flicker for a TD on its first play of a game, the defense can keep them in any game, no matter how low the score.

Now that I’ve said nice things about them and given them a prime ranking for one week, watch them lose to Tennessee this coming weekend.

3. Alabama.

Don’t look at what they did to Vanderbilt in a 59-0 win. Only know that they ran 66 times for 6 TDs, and that Satan still wouldn’t have anything to do with this atrocity. STOP SAYING YOU WANT BAMA. THEY DON’T GET THAT IT’S A JOKE AND NEVER WILL.

4. Penn State.

Survived Kinnick Stadium at night in a 21-19 thriller. The achievement of beating Iowa at night when they score a prime number is never to be underestimated. Iowa thrives on a few things: weird scores, stifling defense, staying in games despite getting doubled up in yardage categories, and causing well-timed special teams disasters. The Hawkeyes got most of those things and still didn’t win, marking this as a serious achievement and a reminder that playing in Kinnick after fans have had a whole day’s worth of tailgating will terrify even the most hardened team.

P.S. Saquon Barkley is a god.

not the god but a god

5. Clemson.

Beat Boston College, 34-7.

Yes, this was a 7-7 game going into the fourth quarter, but that’s not surprising to anyone who watches Boston College play football. BC’s strategy is to slow the game down to a glacial crawl, punt as many times as possible, and mostly hope something good happens. (It rarely does, but that’s still the plan for some reason.) In a game like that, Clemson will eventually break contain and make the expected blowout look like the expected blowout.

Are we concerned about Kelly Bryant having a bad day passing? Sure, and we can’t exactly decide how concerned to be, given that Clemson could probably keep up this single wing running thing for most of the year and win by three scores against the bulk of their schedule. But still, it’s noted. A team that can stop the run will give them fits, particularly if that team can respond with anything like a little offense.

6. Don La Greca.

No words. http://pic.twitter.com/btsaBZLrpf

— Alex Seixeiro (@alexfan590) September 21, 2017

I’m just glad that New York City continues to set the pace for intellectual discourse in sports talk. I’VE BEEN WATCHING FOOTBALL FOR FORTY YEARS. FORTY YEARS.

7. Oklahoma.

Eked out a victory over Baylor, 49-41, which is less than you want to do against Baylor, and way less than you want to do when you tell Baylor that Daddy’s home and you’re going to spank them.

Teams getting acquainted with one another. http://pic.twitter.com/1HzdyAQfGz

— Eddie Radosevich (@Eddie_Rado) September 23, 2017

Chalk it up to a road game against an opponent learning how to play under new management. (By the way, that was inevitable, because Baylor under Matt Rhule was not going to be laughingly bad all year.)

8. USC.

A 30-20 win over Cal. That USC looked frustrated sort of confirms a lot of what people already think about USC.

They’re talented, but will misfire and let teams hang around.

Sam Darnold, who threw another interception and has seven on the year, is still pressing a little and figuring out who his receivers really are.

They will, after struggling, win most of the games they play.

The question is whether they will sharpen up, which they did over the course of 2016. Bonus mitigating detail in a sort of underwhelming game from the Trojans: Cal’s beyond improved under Justin Wilcox.

9. Navy.

Did something to Cincinnati in a 42-32 win. That something is hard to define, but it bears mentioning and praise here because all of the following things happened:

Navy ran 72 times for 569 yards in a regulation football game.

Navy had five players with more than a single carry each average over 10 yards a carry.

Navy had 31 first downs despite being designed to play at a pace slightly faster than a brisk walk between downs.

Navy did that offensive line thing all flexbone teams do, where they try to cut block defensive linemen, which makes defensive linemen move a lot like someone trying to escape the snapping jaws of an onrushing Rottweiler.

Navy only passed three times.

That’s triple-option cruelty at its finest. Applaud it, or risk getting your knees taken out in line at Starbucks by a hard-charging wingback out of nowhere. Ask Cincy: they’re literally everywhere.

10. Michigan.

A 28-10 game against Purdue, a defensive performance we’ll all look back on a lot more approvingly, when the season’s done and everyone realizes how vastly improved the Boilermakers were.

The Michigan offense still has some kind of disorder involving the redzone and third downs; the defense still might be good enough for that not to matter much.

11. MOooooooopolllol.

My ooffice and the

Houston coach Major Applewhite probably should’ve clapped back before the Ambien kicked in http://pic.twitter.com/v2Nc3z2Z1i

— Luke Zimmermann (@lukezim) September 24, 2017

In conclusion:

MOooooooopolllol.

12. San Diego State.

They’re going to score like 28 points and get Rashaad Penny all the carries. What you do in return is negotiable, but it’ll probably end up something like a 28-24 loss, like Air Force suffered, because that is what this Aztecs team is designed to do.

13. Washington.

The Huskies played a way more competitive game than you might think in beating Colorado 37-10, but even games become lopsided ones when the other quarterback throws three INTs. Washington hasn’t been explosive, but they’ve been efficient, and if you’re sort of wondering how that will look against long-bombing attacks like Arizona State or Oregon, well, we’re more than curious about that, too.

14. Washington State.

Pounded Nevada, 45-7. Washington State plays USC this Friday. [THUNDEROUS, OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS FOR FIVE MINUTES STRAIGHT.]

P.S. Nevada is a baaaaaaaad team right now.

15. Virginia Tech.

38-0 over Old Dominion. The Hokies only allowed seven first downs, and more importantly, beat another one of the 392 other universities you didn’t know were in the state of Virginia.

16. Utah.

Fine, Utah, you beat Arizona, 30-24, you’re 4-0 and doing that scrappy, ugly-but-undefeated thing you’ll do for a while, so you get a ranking. The next four games — Stanford, USC, Arizona State, and Oregon — are pure hell, so save some of that scrappiness for the next month. You’ll need it.

17. USF.

Beat Temple, 43-7, maybe is really good, and might still scare us because of some bad offensive stretches in between points binges.

TEAMS I REALLY WANT TO RANK BUT WHO LET SOUTHERN ILLINOIS HANG AROUND WAY, WAY TOO LONG

Memphis. Three and oh, tho.

TEAMS THAT HAVE CONFUSED US FOREVER AND ARE NOW ESPECIALLY CONFUSING BECAUSE THEY ARE UNDEFEATED, ALBEIT AGAINST BAD TEAMS BUT STILL

Wake Forest and Duke. I dunno, this year’s weird already, y’all.

THAT’S A MIRAGE, RIGHT?

Texas Tech. Continued to play ... ”defense” in a 27-24 win over Houston? Three wins and the nation’s second best turnover margin aren’t a lie, but let’s keep them overnight for observation anyway.

HAS ONLY PLAYED TWO FOOTBALL GAMES THUS FAR DUE TO HURRICANES

The Hurricanes of Miami, who beat Toledo 52-30. Shut up, Toledo’s pretty good.

WISELY AVOIDED PLAYING FOOTBALL THIS WEEK

Undefeateds Minnesota and Wisconsin. Goldy got his reps in anyway.

Goldy the Gopher trucking kids at half time is what Twitter was made for. http://pic.twitter.com/EFtqoTOZmN

— Dave Schwartz (@Dave_Schwartz) September 24, 2017

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kylekringsdotcom-blog · 7 years

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Deep, Deep Depression (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Have you ever been so depressed in your life that you couldn’t think? Like, literally couldn’t think at all? So depressed that your brain couldn’t process or store information? So depressed you couldn’t even identify with your physical body? Well, if you have, take a deep breath. I’ve been there too. It’s not easy being in a situation where you feel like you don’t even know yourself. You feel robbed of your opinions, likes, and dislikes you once had.

Gone are the times when you were free, that you could be yourself and have meaningful conversations. And if you reached rock bottom as I did, you have zero emotion. No love, no hate, no sadness, nothing. You are just there.

I can remember times where my anxiety and depression got so bad that every second of every day was a grind. It was a grind being around friends, not knowing what to say. It was a grind in the classroom where my brain refused to store information, unable to even regurgitate the last sentence my professor spoke. I had no likes, no dislikes no emotions, no happiness, no hate, everything was just blah. I had to fake everything. I had to fake laughing if something was supposed to be funny. Fake sadness if something was supposed to bring me down. It didn’t matter if it there was a change of scenery or friends, I was stuck.

I would snort ambien and tell my coach i wasn’t able to come to our college baseball games because I was sick. Well, that was the truth at the time, I was very depressed and riddled with anxiety. I self diagnosed myself with borderline personality disorder online.

It was a constant struggle with the only release being through outlets of drugs and alcohol. Did they help? At the time I saw them as the only things that would let me mind be free but looking back, did they really help? No. They drove me further and further in the pitfalls of depression and massive anxiety.

I would search online for remedies to cure my borderline personality disorder or see if I had any other disorders along with it. It was a day in and day out battle. This lasted for about a year, doing anything to try and make friends but I was unable to do so. It’s like I had never had a friend before. I tried everything just to fit in, but I felt nothing.

Until you decide to put down the bottle, the weed, the hard drugs, cutting yourself or doing anything else to try and escape--you won’t make progress.

I started to progress out of this nightmare with the mindset that I’m not going to let this control me anymore. That I’m going to take my life back. That the Kyle Krings I knew was a great athlete, a smart kid, a funny guy with a good sense of humor. Once you make the decision to be positive and start replacing the negative with the positive, you will see changes. It takes a consistent, persistent effort on a daily basis to get out of this sort of illness. It doesn’t happen overnight. Don’t expect to one day wake up and feel better or normal. It means getting up when the alarm clock goes off, getting to the job you don’t like and doing everything in your power to take control of your life back.

I know the only thing you want to do when you’re in that mindset is sleep. I can remember our team being in the JUCO College World Series in Oklahoma and my favorite part of the trip was sleeping. Oh, the games done, the bed is calling my name at 2pm in the afternoon. I tried to sleep as often as possible to try and get my mind off the present moment.

To be honest, sleeping excessively is the last thing you want to when you’re in this situation. Sleep is a cousin of death. Excessive sleep drains your body, your mind and emotions.

Start doing things that the real you would normally enjoy. Start calling that friend that you used to talk with. Start getting back to the gym. Start painting or reading like you used to. Do something creative or productive with your time. You’re going to have to break down those walls on a daily basis.

You’re going to have to put yourself in positions and situations that are uncomfortable for you. Exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is exposing yourself to situations or objects that you fear and overcoming them and the anxiety with it. I didn’t want to go to my college friends’ apartment to hang out but I did. I didn’t want to go to the gym, but i did. I didn’t want to do a puzzle but I did.

Try to do whatever you’re doing with 100% of your focus. If your mind wanders, which it probably will from time to time, bring your mind immediately back to the task or activity at hand.

Temporarily having these feelings for a year was without question the toughest year of my life. I had thoughts of ended things and leaving planet Earth but I never gave emotion to those thoughts. I knew there was something better, something more for me to do in this world.

Don’t ever give in to that voice in your head that keeps telling you that you don’t want to be here. It will trick you, it will keep being negative if you let it.

Don’t isolate yourself in these times. Get out in nature, read a book, put together a puzzle, listen to your favorite song, do things you used to enjoy and get those things back in your neurology. Soon enough, your likes and dislikes will come back. Your emotions will come back. Your happiness will come back. Things will get better.

Expose yourself to your fears and anxieties and overcome them each day. If you can do these things on a daily basis, changes will start to commence. Your mind follows your actions, not the other way around.

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travelbugemily · 8 years

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Things NOT to Do

Throughout my travels I’ve learned many lessons. So, I thought it would be amusing to share some with y'all! 1. Do not order Mexican food in NYC. I’m sure people will argue with me saying that such and such restaurant is amazing, or I just don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m not claiming to be some Mexican food connoisseur, but I know bad food when I taste it. I tried three different Mexican places in NYC, and the food was overall flavorless and bland. Mexican food with zero spice to it… just no. 2. Do not do a bicycle tour if you haven’t ridden a bike in over 10 years. The struggle was real folks. I couldn’t balance, the seat killed my butt (it was literally numb by the end of the day), and I crashed about a dozen times. I was a bruised mess by the end of the day. Lesson learned. 3. Do not wear shoes you’ve never worn before. I said this in my travel tips post, and I just thought I’d reiterate the point. I’ve done this twice now. You’d think I’d learn the first time, but no. Anyway, simply put walking around with bloody, raw, blistered feet sucks. 4. Staying on the subject of shoes, do not wear shoes without good arch support. Spending an entire day on your feet wearing flat sandals, you’re just asking for sore feet. I did this once in NYC where I walked across central park to The Met, and by about halfway there my feet were in so much pain. Just standing killed. I recommend New Balance sneakers if you want a semi-fashionable sneaker with decent support. Vans and Converse both get a big thumbs down from me. 5. Do not take Ambien on an airplane. Did this once, and never again. I don’t take Ambien anymore, but when I did if I didn’t fall asleep after taking it I would have the most random conversations with people in an inebriated state. This included the lucky lady sitting next to me on my red eye flight to NYC. 6. Now this isn’t something I did, rather it was the lovely lady sitting next to me on an overnight flight to London, but do not take out your iPad and play Candy Crush on full brightness. Be considerate of sleeping people yo. Speaking of rude people, wear flippin’ ear buds. I don’t want to hear you blasting Pharrell’s “Happy” on repeat. Yes that actually happened. 7. Do not eat food you know will give you digestive issues. I have a dairy sensitivity and for some stupid reason I thought eating a double scoop of ice cream before entering the British Museum was a good idea. Without getting TMI, I’ll just say I barely made it in time to the bathroom. 8. Finally, do not take a taxi from JFK to NYC during rush hour if you can help it. Taxi drivers in NYC are crazy in general, but my trip was insane. I literally thought we’d get in a crash. Weaving in and out of traffic, unsafe merging, driving on the side of the highway. To make things worse I had eaten a full breakfast on the airplane and nearly threw up right there in the backseat. - Emily

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alyonahlare-blog · 5 years

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alyonahlare-blog · 5 years

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