#What you're saying is that there's no fun allowed

[salvieslovenotes]

Mirror Mirror

vi x reader, 18+ themes!!

Vi receives a nude from you for the first time and... freaks out a little

(a/n: i haven't written anything like this before, please be gentle!!)

Vi loves the way your relationship is going. She's never taken it this slow before; her relationships in the past have all been about diving head-first, but this, with you, it feels different. She really, really likes you. She doesn't want to mess it up. And taking it slow feels good, it feels like the right thing.

She suspects she's in a bit deeper than you, afraid that it means more to her than it does for you, and so slow... yeah, that's good. Give her a bit of space, allow her to reign in the rush of feelings and want that floods her whenever she's around you.

It's new for her, not to be sure of where it's going, what's happening—but she's taking a step back, taking the cues from you. Whenever you want to take it a step further, she's more than happy to go there.

But it's also tricky, not seeing you every day when she wants to. Not being sure if you're feeling the same way. Only going on one or two dates a week, holding herself back when kissing you, afraid you'll taste the longing she can't swallow down, pull away because you don't want that. You made it very clear, you two were casual. Your relationship was supposed to be fun, and yeah—casual.

So she never mentions it, even though yeah, she wants to know if you're thinking about her, too, when you don't see each other. She wants you to be thinking about her. She wants to get little dirty texts from you, she wants to send them back. She wants to get a text and be thinking about it all day. But she respects your boundaries, and so she says nothing.

Casual is... not really how Vi feels about you.

But it's alright, she knows you haven't been treated right in the past. Been with some people who haven't been respectful, who've made it so you don't give your trust easily. And so she understands why you're hesitant about starting something serious, and she really wants to show you that she's not like the others. She would never do anything to hurt you, or make you uncomfortable.

It's a total slap in the face one morning when she's just messaged you hello like she always does and you respond... differently.

good morning love

sleep well?

She's busy pouring coffee when a moment later her phone buzzes with a new message.

Cupcake <3: Well... not so good.

Frowning, she types quickly.

oh??

Three dots appear on the screen and she waits impatiently, a little worried.

Cupcake <3: Yeah, couldn't sleep well.

Was kinda... distracted

Thinking about you

Vi stares at the last line, her heart suddenly beating hard in her chest, fast enough that her stomach clenches a little. Is this... are you doing what she thinks you're doing? For a moment she has a small panic; what if she's misinterpreted, because you two have never done anything like this before. Even your flirting is all tame, none of it overly suggestive, and what if she's got it totally wrong? What if you actually meant you were up because you were questioning the relationship. Is this you telling her you want to talk?

Now panicking in earnest, Vi glances down at her screen again where your three dots have reappeared. Wondering how to reply, she takes a sip of coffee—then promptly chokes.

Another message from you has just come through. This time, it's a photo.

A photo of you, specifically.

When Vi's finished coughing her lungs out, she grips her phone tight in both hands, staring, suddenly very certain that she was right the first time. It does not look like you're questioning the relationship.

The photo doesn't include your face, cutting off at your collarbones. Vi's gaze travels along their dip and curve, thinking of how she wants to run her tongue along that same line. You're clearly lying down in the image, rumpled sheets below your back. The lower half of the image cuts off again, just showing the elastic of your panties, and the fingers you're just slipping beneath the hem.

It's a matching set. Black lace, making the curve of your waist even sharper. Vi drinks in every pixel of the image, the way your fingers are teasing her, barely pulling the elastic of your panties as if it could snap back at any moment. She can imagine your satisfied little smile, the way your breaths would become more rapid and shallow as your hand slipped lower.

Vi lets out a shaky breath, a twinging ache of want low in her stomach. She doesn't need to move to know she's soaked her boyshorts. Pushing a hand that's trembling a little through her hair, she looks at the photo again, swallowing roughly. And shit—wait, the message is from almost ten minutes ago and she...

She has the sudden thought that you might be doing that right now, and fully just —spaces out. Gripping the counter until her knuckles are white, she closes her eyes, the picture of you blazing behind her eyelids. She thinks of the way your back would arch a little as you teased yourself, brushing a finger over your clit, bucking into your own hand. Biting your lip to stifle a moan, free hand clutching desparately at the sheets.

She still hasn't replied.

What does she even respond to something like that? Wow angel, thanks for wreaking me at eight in the morning.

Honestly, she's not really sure why this photo has... affected her so much. It's not the most explicit photo she's received from a girl, not by a long shot. Hell, some of her old hook-ups had sent full on videos and none of them had made her feel... quite like this. Shaky with the need to touch you, to have her mouth on your skin, your taste over her tongue. The desparate desire to make you hers, properly hers, someone that no one else would get to touch, to want, to have. You've barely been going out a month, and she wants it to be for always.

She's worried about leaving the message read and without a response—she doesn't want you to get the wrong impression, that it wasn't a good idea to send or worse, that she's unfazed by it.

But she just... doesn't know what to send back. In the past she's snapped responses without even thinking, quick photos of her touching herself, or maybe some at the gym, especially when she was with one girl who was particularly into her strength, but she doesn't know you well enough to know what you'd like, what would make you think of her in the way she's thinking of you—you're both still learning each other, the sex is still new. And she sort of wants...

She wants to make you feel like she does right now. She just doesn't know how.

For now she just sends a quick text, just the truth, before she can think twice about it—

fuck, angel

do you have any idea what you do to me?

—then locks her phone and religiously doesn't look at it for the rest of the day. Not that it makes a difference. Without ever opening your chat again, she's distracted. Thinking about you. Wanting you.

After work she can't take it anymore and calls Caitlyn, one of her closest friends and incidentally how you two met, as Caitlyn is also a close friend of yours.

Vi's not calling to ask for advice on nudes... but she's also not not calling to ask for advice on nudes. She and Caitlyn have been friends long enough that she's not even embarrassed about it.

"Fuck I just... I dunno what to do," she sighs. It's a little frightening, to want someone that badly, when she has no idea if you feel that strongly about her.

She's so highly strung her fingers have a tiny tremor in them even though she's only had one coffee today. Every time she thinks of that photo (which she's done approximately seven times a minute all day) her heartrate picks up, heat inching up her neck. She's pretty sure her cheeks have been flushed all day—though it's not particularly hot weather-wise.

She's wearing tight black jeans, her old pair full of rips she usually wears when tinkering on her bike, but it was a bad choice today because they're tight around her waist, and every time she bends or takes a seat the seam presses against her. Usually she doesn't notice, but now even that slight pressure is enough to have her biting back a whine as she thinks again about your long fingers curling under the lacy hem of your panties, the way you'd —

A soft laugh in her ear snaps her back to the present. Fuck, she needs to get it together.

"Okay, I'm gonna help you," says Caitlyn on the other end of the line, sounding vaguely amused. "But only because you're being a pathetic wet sock. Alright, you want her to want you?"

"Uh-huh," Vi mumbles, slumped over her counter top and staring moodily at the floor.

"Right, go into your bedroom."

"Okay..." Vi replies, pushing herself up off the counter and wandering through her small flat to her bedroom. "M'kay, I'm there."

"Open your wardrobe door," Caitlyn instructs, "the side with the long mirror. You still have that mirror, don't you?"

"Uh-huh," Vi says, pulling open the side of her wardrobe with the mirror attached. "Now what?"

"Now take off your shirt, and turn around. "

Having tossed her phone onto her bed, halfway out of her shirt Vi pauses, frowning. "Turn... around?"

There's an exasperated sigh from Caitlyn's end. "Yes, turn around. One-eighty. One-eight-zero. Turn around."

"So I'm... not facing the mirror?"

There's another sigh from Caitlyn. "Fuck, Vi, you useless lesbian. Yes, turn around so your back is to the mirror."

"My back?"

"Yep." There's a smirk in Caitlyn's voice when she adds, "Trust me, that's all you need to do to make her want you."

And well, Caitlyn's not wrong.

[uncle-fruity]

I love the new year! It's my favorite holiday, and people who say that nothing changes or resolutions don't work or that everything is bad so there's no point in celebrating miss the point, imo. It's about getting through another year! It's about progressing and surviving and setting intentions for the new year. But too many people think of resolutions and new beginnings as things that have to be Big and Challenging for them to be meaningful, but that's really not how change works.

For the last several years, I've done what I call Resolution Bingo. I think of 24 things that range from Easily Doable to A Challenge and write them out on a bingo sheet. (Free space is always just Stay Alive.) The idea isn't to do all 24, but rather to try to get one or more bingos throughout the year.

I have never actually gotten a bingo (though I've come very close) but it doesn't matter. The point of Resolution Bingo is to put intention out there for the new year. I think of things I want to do or learn or get back into and I put them on my bingo sheet. Because of Resolution Bingo, I've gone to see more live shows than I used to. I've done more art projects & followed through with them. I've visited new places & had new adventures. I've learned new skills in cooking, needlework, and many other areas of interest. I have made both big and small positive steps for my life because of the resolutions I set at the beginning of the year.

So my advice is to think of resolutions as less of a major life change that you want to dive into -- take the stress off. You can make smaller resolutions that help with your bigger goals. I always tell people who decide they also want to do Resolution Bingo that they shouldn't put anything like, "Run daily/weekly," because as soon as you miss a day, it can demotivate you into stopping all together. Or, if you keep it going, you might feel guilty about marking it off on your bingo sheet at the end of the year, even if you still did a lot of work towards the goal. So, usually, I recommend setting realistic goals that get you going. Stuff like "run a 5k" or "run 3 different running trails" or you know... whatever is reasonable for you and has a tangible beginning & end. If you start working towards something fun or rewarding, you will still be doing the running you set out to do. Going for a daily run is good and all, but it's a slog if you don't know what you're working towards or if you don't allow yourself to rest on days that you really need rest.

My resolutions this year include things like getting a piercing, reading 50 academic papers, visiting all the libraries in my city, learning to place all the countries on a world map from memory, learning 3 new recipes, go somewhere new, complete 1 sewing project... Stuff that will take time and energy, but which will improve my life in ways I want to see it improve. If I don't set some goals -- even fun ones like going to a new museum -- I will just forget to do anything exciting or new & get lost in the depressing Grind of Life. And if you're lost in the depressing Grind of Life, remember to get outside and so anything at all that sounds appealing or productive or fun. It really helps to connect with the good things in life; makes you stronger and more stable in the long run.

I'm coming out as a new year's enjoyer. "Oh you will never stick to these goals" "nothing is really different between one day and the next" "why celebrate the bad years" because I want to!!! Because I love endings and beginnings and making lists!! I love the concept of starting the year by partying I love the drama of kissing someone at midnight I love the one time of the year when it is cold I love starting a new calendar and I love cheering for no reason

[dilf-docs]

To The Devil I Know

dbf!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: your infamous girl's trip with your best friend sarah gets crashed by his overprotective dad. but what is the perfect way to leash all your anger out?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap, smut, p. in v., fingering, oral (m. and f. receiving), brat taming, it's pussy spanking time again bc i do in fact like it a lot, praise/daddy kink sprinkled somewhere, reader calls him mr. miller A LOT, exhibition kink (v nasty), degradation kink (he calls her little slut), pantie sniffing (joel's kind of a perv, ay), dirty talk (they have a sentence awaiting in horny jail), y/n grinds on joel's nose bc yeah i too want that, this is contradicting but lwk sub!joel bc that man's touch starved as HELL, may do a part two idk pls give it love, dad!bod joel bc i say so (yummy), no angst (wtf dilf-docs? the angst gods are so pissed off rn)

word count: 7,195 words

side note: this request got me HOOKED the moment i opened it and since i'm currently on a pedro hyperfixiation rn, we need to put the mental illness to good use. also, this is lwk based on the song by suki waterhouse devil i know! :) i'm seeing that i have two joel fics with devil in the title btw something something abt nickels and not being a lot but weird it happened twice also WE HIT 300 FOLLOWERS??? (and its 1am and i have to wake up at 4am is anyone surprised atp...)

"Sarah!" you shout, "get your ass out here you looser!"

It's probably eight in the morning, and here you are, honking and shouting in the middle of the quiet calm suburbs.

When you spot her curly head running towards you in a rush, you know she's pissed.

"Stop screaming!" she shouts back, "my neighbours will hate me"

You've known Sarah since you were kids. When you first moved to Texas, she was the only one who spoke to you in school. You grew up with her among white picket fences and scrapped knees, mantaining the friendship even as you moved away, until your return for college.

"Why would I even care? I don't live here!" you joke from the driver's seat, hopping off and giving her a hug. "I'm sorry but I can't help it. I'm just so excited for this trip, we've been planning it for ages!"

You keep talking excitedly about your plans, not noticing how her face falls.

"Yeah, about that..."

"You girls ready?" a third voice enters the picture, definitely not belonging to a girl.

"Uh, Sarah" you breath in, "Why the fuck is your dad here?"

In all his glory: Joel Miller, a guy you haven't seen in forever, too busy living in the dorms, girl dates with Sarah often out of her house. You wanted to explore the world: you weren't ten anymore, and the suburbs lost all of it's appeal they had when you were the age of Barbies and drawing on chalk.

"Listen, y/n. I tried, I really tried. But as soon as I opened my mouth, he started to pack his bags"

"Isn't your dad always busy at work?" you inquire, another one of the reasons Joel's face isn't a fresh memory in your head.

"That's part of the problem. He took all of the pending vacations he had at once" she sighs, sounding as dissapointed as you are. "I understand if you don't want to go"

"Are you being serious right now?" you chuckle dryly. "No, absolutely not. I saved for this trip, packed my favorite outfits and aced all my classes so my parents would allow me. Nothing is going to ruin this for me: not you, not your dad. So we'll go and we'll have all the fun we planned, yeah?" you express firmly, holding her hands. "We will have our girl summer, no matter what. Even if we have to ignore the elephant in the room..."

"Did you just call me fat?"

You turn around, and there he is: the uninvited. Joel Miller's aged face stands before you, strong arms flexing under the pressure of a couple of suitcases.

"No" you reply back, "just a nuissance"

He chuckles at your response, amused. "If you thought I'd let my babygirl go alone with you to the beach and get shit-faced drunk, you're not as smart as I remember, y/n"

Your name would always be on his tongue to call you out. Y/n, don't do that. Y/n apologize to the neighbours. Y/n, slow down. Y/n, don't be so stubborn. You were always a troublemaker, and his lips would only know how to pronounce your name if to berate you. But now, as his mouth says your name with a newly learned tone, dripping with dare and amusement, you can't help but feel a fire ignite that burns your skin.

"Dad!" Sarah calls out, taking you out of your thoughts. She flushes in embarrasment, and you scoff at the idea of giving too much of your time to think about Mr. Miller of all people. "I'm not ten anymore, we'll be just fine"

"You're barely of legal age!" he counters back. "What if somethin' was to happen to you, huh? I'd never forgive myself"

You get annoyed at his over-the-top reactions. What did he think you were gonna do? The wildest thing you had in mind was getting drunk while sitting in the sand. Not even in the water! You may be a wild spirit, but stupid you're not.

"Look, Mr. Miller" he cocks his head to the side, daringly so, almost as if waiting for you to try. "I don't know what you're thinking, but this isn't Driveway Dolls" he looks at you confused, so you try again, "Or Thelma and Louise, whatever suits your fucking old ass. Alright? This is a girls trip, heard that? Just two bestfriends enjoying their youth and summer without boys around to ruin it for them"

"Boys?" he laughs. "Too bad, then, 'cause sweetheart, I'm a man"

Your breath hitches, but you're not going to let him win; you always need to have the last word.

"Well, man up and let your daughter be free for once!"

Sarah covers her face with her palms, clearly knowing her dad more. This is a lost battle.

"Stop, y/n. Please. Dad's impossible to bend"

"He's ruining our trip!" you protest, feeling like a child throwing a tantrum.

"Take it or leave it" he leans against his truck, crossing his arms. Your eyes dart to the strained fabric of his sleeves, and when he chuckles, you don't know if he noticed or it's because of his imminent victory.

"Fine!" you throw your hands in the air, dramatically so. "Welcome on board, intruder"

Joel Miller smiles, and maybe it's the rare sight, not even common back in the day, that makes your heart skip a beat.

"And we're taking my truck"

"Are you being serious right now?!" Was this man going to take away all your freedom?

He laughs, mockingly. Rage bubbles in your chest, along something darker you aren't going to admit just yet.

"There is no way my daughter is going on a fucking hatchback to the beach"

You try to distract yourself talking to Sarah in the backseat, but her dad's prying glances time to time from the rear view mirror have you shifting uncomfortably on your seat.

He's persistent, always has been. Joel Miller, just as Sarah said, wasn't a man who could be bent. You'd remember thinking he was a sort of superhero: unbreakable. Whenever Sarah needed help, a pair of strong arms would be there, ready to take the weight off of her shoulders. He was now older, as you have noticed: grey and wrinkles sprayed all over his face. And now, the worst part of it all:

Age had made him infuriatingly attractive.

Unfair, you think, that a man so bitter that only seemed to worry and nag, was blessed with the rare quality of aging like wine. You can deny it anymore: whatever Joel Miller has now that he didn't before is working on you like a lovesick spell.

You look again to the front, just in time to catch one of his subtle (not really) stares. You keep the eye contact, only he tears away his gaze first, something akin to regret and fear circling on his warm brown orbs. The fire from before cracks inside of your belly, and the anticipation begins.

If he was going to ruin your trip, you might as well return the favor.

"M' gonna stop for gas" he says after some minutes of silence, deviating towards a gas station.

You take the opportunity to get out of the truck to strech your legs. Sarah does so too, but then whispers into your ear:

"Tell my dad I need to go to the bathroom. Don't want him worrying"

As if you'll talk to him. Despite that, you nod and she leaves you alone with her annoying dad.

"Reckless too, huh?" Joel appears by your side, almost making you drop your phone. "You know you're not s'pposed to use the damn phone on a gas station? Good thing I ain't let my daughter go alone with you"

You put your phone down. "Reckless? I know what I'm doing" but you sound nervous, for some reason.

"You haven't changed at all, have you?" Joel says, his voice surprisingly soft.

You heart gets stuck in your throat at the sudden shift, "I suppose not"

"I get that you hate me" he confesses, done filling the tank, "but I couldn't let the two of you go alone"

Your cheeks turn pink at the accusation, "I don't hate you"

He laughs, and the sound has something stirring in the lower of your belly. Why is Joel Miller of all people provoking feelings in you no other boy has ever provoked? You're used to playing with boys as you please, and you come to realize that's where the difference lies: you don't know how to handle a man.

A man so strong, your eyes don't leave him as his arms flex while pumping the gas, the delicious peek his simple white shirt gives you not going unnoticed; droplets of sweat on his temple, sliding down his jawline then getting lost down the crook of his neck. You lick your lips on instinct, horrified when you realize what you've just thought and done.

"Damn right you don't"

You could say you've reached some kind of truce, but then Sarah comes back, and when you look at Joel again, he's reverted to that annoying apathic state of his, but instead of bothering you, it only makes you want more.

"Hey" he says to Sarah, "where you went?"

"I had to pee, dad. Relax" she dismisses, shooting at you a can-you-believe-it look.

He walks away, ready to jump in the driver's seat again, when he turns around to whisper to Sarah:

"Don't ever leave me again" tone stern, "not with her"

But you hear.

You arrived late, the sun hiding behind the large body of water that seemed infinite.

"I can't believe we missed the first sunset!" you whine. "It was going to look so good on my Instagram stories..."

"This generation and their problems" Joel scoffs, taking the suitcases to the house you've rented for the next two days.

The answer is right at the tip of your tongue, but you decide to be the bigger person and remain quiet. If he wants to play, you better play smart.

"Dad, please" Sarah calls him out, and you have to hide a laugh. "Don't fight with y/n"

"I ain't doing shit" he sneers, crossing his bulking arms.

Sarah walks past him, muttering against his childishness. That angers Joel, who tries to remain cool.

"I know you hate me" you suddenly appear by his side. Your vainilla scent gets up on his nose, invading his body of you. "I just think you should try, for Sarah"

"I don't hate you" he answers, and now it's your turn to laugh.

"Yeah? Doesn't seem like it, Mr. Miller" it comes out before you can stop it, and there's something dark lurking behind his brown eyes piercing through you.

"I don't" sounding more sure this time. Serious too.

"You'll have to prove that"

You enjoy the surprise on his face and the light pink sprinkled across his cheeks.

"Prove that?"

You nod, finding all of this suddenly funny.

"Hmh, you heard me. Prove it, Mr. Miller. That you don't hate me"

But before he can respond, your bestfriend is back.

"Y/n, come on! You need to check the house. It has a shared balcony!" Sarah beams giddy.

You let her excitement infect you, taking her hand as you go inside the house. Joel stays back, your words ringing on his ears.

On the other hand, Sarah and you check the room together.

"Look this" she points at one of the mirrors in the room: it has details that remind you of the sea. "Isn't it cute?"

"It is" you agree, "we should take a picture"

"Okay. But use your phone" she says, "mine died on the road"

You're about to pull it out when you feel your pockets empty.

"It's... not here"

"You might have left it in the car" she tries to help.

"Yeah" you try to remain level-headed, "I'll go search for it"

You return to the truck, pressing your head against the window. Just like your friend guessed, it's there, abandoned on the seat.

"Lost somethin'?"

You gasp, turning around. Joel Miller's face is centimeters away from yours, breathing heavily as his body cages your smaller frame against the truck's doors.

"My phone" you find your voice after what feels like eternity, "it's inside the car"

"Need help with that?" his voice sounds low, whisper easily to be confused with a growl.

You don't know how to answer, scared for the first time of where your mouth could take you. So your solution is to nod, and step aside for him to open the car.

"There you go" he's dropping it in your hands, fingers lightly brushing yours. There's a shiver down your spine despite the cool weather, and you know damn well it's all his fault. He may feel it too, by the way he takes a step back, putting some distance.

"Need anything else?" but it feels like a slap to the face, as if he's challenging you to speak what you've been thinking but are too coward to do when he stands before you.

"No" you mentally slap yourself for how pathetic you sound, "this is all I needed, Mr. Miller. Thanks"

You look back one last time, despite it all. And there it is: that same look he gave you in the car.

"Anytime" but it falls deaf to your ears, as you basically ran away from him.

Him and his imposing presence, enough to make your legs tremble and your mind to stop working. Him and his smell, that brings you back to simpler times and reminds you of a a secret place in the woods, musk getting under your skin. Him and his breath, hitching when you touch hands. Him and his beating heart, just as loud as yours.

"Took you long" Sarah comments when you return, "I was already falling asleep"

She doesn't know or suspect, you tell yourself, but that doesn't stop you from feeling sick.

That night, as Sarah lays by your side and you try to sleep, all you can think about is his big hands, the lingering feeling of a warm touch. And then Joel, stepping back―coming to his senses, as if something is holding him back.

Anytime.

You can't help but wonder what stopped him.

Days have blurred between drinks by the poolside, waves crashing, wet sand in your fingers and sun carressing skin.

Despite what happened, Joel remains in the shadows, letting you and Sarah enjoy your trip in peace. You may be spending time with your bestfriend, but his presence hangs in the air, impregnated with his strong pine and whisky smell, looming over you like a shadow; suffocating, like his scent is all you can breath. You hate how your mind keeps going back to him, because despite your inicial claims to ruin him, that wasn't the purpose of this vacation, yet Joel seems to have infected you with a need that corners your mind to think of him and him only. The greed you feel is unnatural, like a spell has been cast upon you. He may be far, just as you wanted, and you should enjoy that, but it's that very same distance that is driving you insane.

Today, you and Sarah decided to go diving and then play volleyball.

The day ends, the sun sets, and so does the tiredness. But as Sarah's snores fill your ears, you toss around the bed, trying to conceal sleep to no avail.

Staring at the ceiling, you kept drifting back to Joel, mind wondering and heart racing at thoughts of strong arms caging you, warmth in your body that the breeze creeping through flowing curtains fails to provide.

The sound of wood creaking jolts you awake. His silhoutte is hard to miss, and your eyes follow it cross your bedroom. You pretend to be asleep, his scent up your nose as he walks in careful measured steps, trying not to wake you up. He looks back at Sarah, and the moonlight betrays him when it shines over his eyes, revealing an adoration that gnaws your chest.

He keeps walking, until he reaches the shared balcony. It's then that you make a choice, heart pounding in your chest as you race yourself from bed, going his way.

You go outside, finding him resting his arms on the balcony, facing the beach in silence. Soft waves crash against the wet sand, but not even that can overpower the sound of your beating heart.

"What're you doin' here?" he's asking, even if you haven't moved from your spot. Seems like your friend wasn't joking about his heightened senses, despite his old age. "Thought y'were 'sleep"

"Well, Sarah is a fast sleeper" you answer, walking to his side.

"She sure is" and the faintest of a smile appears on his face.

Joel Miller is a mystery to you: the most closed off man you've ever met, hiding behind his apparent apathy that only seems to be gone whenever Sarah is around. She's the apple of his eye, and those soft traces of a more tamed character that come to light have truly picked your interest, begging for more crumbs that will help you puzzle who he really is: he, that is as handsome as a mystery. The worst is, you don't know what attracts you more.

But you won't let him win.

"Mr. Miller?"

"Yeah?"

"Were you married?"

He looks at you, dark eyes partly iluminated by the moonlight.

"Aren't you a bit too young to be bold?"

"And aren't you too hot to be all alone?" you reply in an instant, rendering him speechless.

He chuckles, but it sounds defeated rather than amused.

"Trust me, kid" he's back at facing the ocean. Goddamn coward. "This isn't what you want"

"Don't call me kid" you berate, almost repulsed at it. "I'm twenty one"

He scoffs. "Still hella young"

"But I know what I want" a wavering hand ready to trace over his pecs, but he's stopped you before it descends. Before it's too late.

"You don't" he assures, grip on your hand stronger, without knowing how much you're enjoying this. Or maybe he does. "See? That's the problem with you kids: you think you do, but you don't"

You loose your patience.

"Tell me then, Mr. Miller. Would a kid do this?"

Taking the distraction, the same hand flies now to grop his dick, and to your surprise, it's already hard.

"Seems I'm not the only one who doesn't know what they want"

"Stop" he warns, hissing when your eager fingers unbuckle his belt. It's huge, for some reason, and you can't help but feel an ardent throb at the thought of grinding on it.

When your eyes look at Joel, he swears he sees you devilishly smirk, almost as if you were mocking him.

"Stop?" you bite your lip, feigning innocence as doe eyes look where dark ones had done before. "If that's what you want, you aren't even trying"

You kneel down, and the position gives you the perfect side of his adam's apple bobbing in a nervous gulp. He grows insecure under your intense stare, breath hitching when the wind hits his now free member as you pull down his underwear, revealing it hard and leaking with precum. You laugh delighted, with victory, and he finds himself trapped between the moon and your games, drowning on a sea feet away.

"I think I know what you want"

"How? You don't even know what you want" barely fighting it.

Your fingers grace over his soft abdomen, tracing down his belly and happy trail. Your teeth nip at the skin scattered with soft rosy lines, peppering the skin with fluttering kisses to entertain your mouth until your digits touch his hard cock. Joel whines, squirming, and you're delighted with the receptiveness, needy sounds escaping his lips.

You haven't even started yet.

"You're right, I don't" you agree. "All I know is you piss me off and that you ruined our trip, so I'm gonna take my anger out on you one way... or another"

You take your first lick, savouring the dark red head. His hips buck, a shaky gasp robbed from his chapped lips.

"Fuck" he exhales weakly, lost against the sound of water.

"Don't worry, Mr. Miller. I'll take good care of you" admiring his girth. He looks down on you, bottom lip caught between his teeth. Joel can't lie and say he isn't fascinated with the way you look at him, not believing so much appetite can fit in such a small young body. Not even his partners before you, had looked at him like he was the best thing in the world, and now here you were: the loud-mouthed brat best friend of his daughter, sucking his cock while Sarah slept just a few meters away. Just yersteday he was bickering with you, not standing your spoiled attituted and juvenile spirit that can't be tamed and won't shut up. Hell, you had even disrespected him. But here he is, not being able to find the words or actions to stop you: because he doesn't want to.

It was all so fucked up.

But then you're closing your lips around his swollen head, and he knows there's no point in fighting it anymore, his whole body urging him to give in.

"Oh, fuck" he pants, getting all worked up as you take him deeper. "Keep goin'. You're doin' a great job, sweetheart"

The praise gets to you, even if not needed.

Your tongue swirls, running the muscle with wet slides, up and down, tip to base, some pressure applied. You proceed to take in his balls, feeling him tense up. You wanted to mock him badly, but your mouth was full of his dick, so that wasn’t happening.

"D-don't stop" he pleads, sounding more like a whine.

He's deep enough that it hits your throat. You've never been this greedy, but also, have never tried with a dick so big. You feel him in the roof of your mouth, your lips at the base of the tip, brushing against skin. Joel can't keep up: breath hitching, moans ragged and consumed, barely standing if it wasn't for your hands digging in his thighs for support.

You keep building pace, seeing Joel's face scrunch up.

"M' close" his voice comes out strained, his head tilting back, wild soft locks from before now plastered against his forehead, dripping with sweat. His muscles tense, you can feel it, and it's just about time before he's coming inside your mouth.

You want it. To taste more of him, who you claim to hate but feels oh so good. Strong, just as his presence.

"So good, fuck, you're so good" in a tone so needy and desperate. It falls out of his lips, followed by more unintelligible praises dripping from his tongue.

And then, in a shaky breath, lost to the wind:

"Y/n"

You gasp, and he feels it, the air ticklish on his sensitive skin.

Joel said your name.

Your name, in a way it had never been said before. Uttered like a prayer, submerged in devotion. Your name, melting into his moans, deep within him, the calling full of a primal desire. The experience is intoxicating, making you crave more.

Joel comes with a groan, head falling back. Your name dies on his lips as his hips thrust up with your lips closing in. Thick spurts of cum mix with saliva in the back of your throat. You pull out, a string of saliva still connecting you to his dick. He looks down on you, body shaking as much as yours. Without breaking eye contact, he wipes some of the mess drooling from your lips, his calloused thumbs carresing you with a softness you didn't think was possible. The contrast makes you falter a bit, and you know Joel notices.

"There you go" your voice comes out hoarse, avoiding his eyes, "now you know what you want"

He chuckles, giving you a hand to stand up. As you raise to your feet, his face is barely inches away from yours. You can see the lines time has marked across his face, the grays coloring hair you remember to be brown, and those eyes―piercing through you like they know you better than you know yourself.

"But do you?"

Joel Miller doesn't know what is regret.

He didn't feel it when Sarah arrived unexpectedly at the ripe age of twenty, forcing him out of college. He didn't feel it when Sarah's mother left him alone to raise his daughter all by himself, aware he had tried it all to make it work. He surely didn't feel it when you came back after leaving Texas, long gone the childlike wonder and features that made him see you as an extension of his daughter, his gaze lingering a bit too long on this familiar face in a beautiful blooming new body.

But this is different, and he isn't sure if, for the first time, he's finally known what is regret.

Joel Miller also doesn't know when to back out of a fight.

He remember his brother Tommy, practically begging to let go of some asshole that dared to pick up on him, knuckles bloody no matter if he was young then and old as stubborn now, the same red painted across his willfull hands.

But now those hands prickle and sweat, no matter how much he runs them over the fabric of his jeans. And now, as your dangerous stare pierces through him across the small table, Sarah oblivious to the game as she quietly munchs her cereal, Joel Miller backs down, his gaze the first to look away.

He realizes just now why he was so afraid to look up to the sky after you left. The same stars that stared back from the high of the dark night are akin to the ones dancing in your eyes.

"Mr. Miller" your voice breaks his train of thoughts.

"Where's Sarah?" he asks in a panicked voice, realizing you've been left alone.

"Brushing her teeth" you answer, slightly taken back by his tone. "We were going out today, remember?"

Ah, yes. A little tour to an island not to far away from there.

"M' not goin'. Sorry, kid" he's decided. Before you can speak, Sarah returns and asks the question herself.

"M' tired. That's all" but it sounds rather an excuse.

"Are you sure, dad?" Sarah presses, not sure why he had changed his mind at the last minute.

"Yeah" he insists, all while avoiding those eyes of yours, unsatisfied and searching for answers of questions qithout a voice. "You girls go and have fun"

So you do.

You go and feel like you're inside of Mamma Mia (your favorite movie; both of you learned ABBA's discography thanks to it, something that offended your parents), the sun reflecting in the water, the little island with its green and sun, and the flowers that dust their petals into the shore where your boat arrives.

But when the trip is over and soft waves rock your return, you think of Joel.

You think you should feel at least a little ashamed of becoming so obssesed with a man in barely two days, who, on top of it all, is your bestfriend's dad. But then you remember the taste of him inside your mouth, how his dick had rasped against your throat, his seed warm in the tip of your tongue. And then his eyes, promises meant to be broken locked away behind tides of fear, that do an excellent job of reminding you how easy is to drown; to fall for how in hazel flickers, Joel seems he'd give you the world.

"Let's get drunk" you deadpan once you're back at the shore.

Sarah laughs at your determination, then realizes you're serious.

"What?"

"Yeah, it's our last day here" you reason. "Besides, your dad isn't here. What's he going to say?"

If you sound between angry and dissapointed at his absence, Sarah remains quiet.

"We're running away" she tries one last time, but by the look in your eyes, you've made your choice.

"Are we? We're twenty-one, Sarah. We can do whatever the fuck we want" you feel rebellious all of a sudden, "what? Don't you wanna give this trip a grand finale?"

So you crash into the nearest bar and waste the night away, drinking and dancing. But you're ordering a drink you don't like, and in every glass of whiskey down your throat, his name hangs in the air like the memory of his smell, locked behind a vault as if it's too sacred to say. But when Sarah gets a boy to dance and lends his friend to you, you wish there was rough where soft meets your skin, and chapped when you kiss his lips. Your body burns ablaze with sweat, alcohol and regret, a dangerous combination that makes you pull Sarah out of the bar when you feel you're about to black out. She complains, but you're set on making it to the bed before your eyelids shut.

Maybe it's because you always had what you wanted, or maybe it was the forbidden, but whatever reason had pushed you in Joel's orbit, refused to let you go.

And maybe you're imagining his voice, scolding you like a kid. Maybe you're seven again, and in the shadows of the bed, you've gone back to your childhood days. Y/n, y/n, y/n. That sick berating tone of his, acting like you're stupid and small.

"Fucking brat" he spats, drops of his angry scowl landing on your cheek. You then realize he's hovering over you, and it's real, not a product of your foggy mind. So you stand up, sobering up a bit, when he charges back again. "Makin' my daughter pass out? What the fuck were you thinkin'? Could've ended in the middle of the street. You're s'pposed to go to the damn island and then come back!"

Your mouth tastes like sand, but even if you've passed out a couple hours ago, the fire doesn't die. So your tongue is back, finding it's voice to say:

"Well, if you hadn't left us alone, this wouldn't have happened"

He chuckles, darkly. Humorless. "I see"

"What?" you challenge, a shiver down your spine that looses itself somewhere else.

"You got my daughter drunk as revenge"

You're mortified at the accusation, the remnants of alcohol now long gone of your system.

"Do you think I'd risk me and my friends' safety for you? Out of all people, you?" not caring if you sound bitter.

The truth sticks to your skin as uncomfortably as the sweat.

"I dunno, sweetheart. That's why I'm asking you" the pet name rolls effortlessly, in a rough voice that creates a wet spot in your panties. He gets closer, and you can see the tremble of his lips as he lets out a shaky breath. "Be a good girl and answer"

"I won't tell you shit" you spit.

"You little mix, thinkin' you can run your tongue like it ain't been 'round my cock before" you look like a deer caught in headlights, and Joel's enjoying this more than he should. "That's right, what'd Sarah think knowing her friend's a little slut for'er daddy's cock?"

The electric current that crosses your body sparks the fire of the woods hiding behind his auburn storms.

Now you're feeling high on a forest fire. You want the flames to engulf you, even if ashes is all there'll be left.

"Tell me you want this" his forehead clashes against yours, and the whole world falls silent, except for your ringing ears.

"I want this" and he's just as surprised as you are by the unwavering conviction. "I need you, Mr. Miller"

You try to get up, but he pushes you with full force back into your bed. Then, the base creaks, and he's on top of you, his weight pressing you against the mattress.

"What are you-"

"You think I'd let you get away easily? Have things your way? Naive lil' girl" he tuts, "I'll punish you for that"

As on cue, drowned out snores are heard from your side.

"But, Sarah-" you try to protest, his body caging you under his mercy.

"That'll mean you're behavin', right?" he runs his thumb across your lips, gently pulling them down, as if the chase was thrilling as eating the prey. "I know you don't want to wake her up and see her slut of a friend bangin' her daddy"

You tense, remaining silent at the threat, even if your body reacts other ways.

"Good girl"

He’s quick to get rid you of your shorts.

"Fuckin' hell" he murmurs against your neck, the clothing discarded somewhere in the room. "Wearin' this little shitty bottoms to rail me up, knowin' damn well when to bent and get me hard. Been thinkin' of takin' them off ever since you wore 'em first"

The confession makes you whine, and Joel's delighted by the sound, and just how putty you are under his big rough hands.

"Let's see what we got here" his large hands caress your thighs as he settles between your legs. "Black lace, baby? Such a fuckin' tease. Wore 'em for me?"

You shake your head, but his calloused digits dig on the plush skin of your thighs, making you wince at the pain.

"Don't lie to me, sweetheart. You'd said you'll be a good girl, yeah?" you nod, soaking wet, painfully so.

"Yes, I'll be"

"Show me your manners, then" he presses light kisses on the insides of your thighs, close to where you need his graying beard to tickle, "and I'll show you mine"

"Just eat me, Joel" you demand breathlessly. "Fuck. Need you, Mr. Miller, so bad"

"And why should I reward you, impatient little slut? Eager to get daddy's filthy mouth between that pretty pussy" Joel bites the inside of your thigh, and it takes all of your strength to avoid becoming a moaning mess. "You've been bad, sweetheart. A brat"

You deny it, but his head dissappears between your legs, licking the wet spot on your panties. You squirm under the teasing of his tongue, legs shutting close on instinct. You drown a whimper in your palm as he yanks your panties away.

"Don't do anything I ain't tell you to" demanding, and if you weren't this horny and out of your mind, you'd probably be scared. "There'll be consequences"

You try to obey. But then his nose, that big nose you want covered in your slick as you grind off of it between your legs, sniffs your panties. He gives it one big sniff, and then two, fingers going white as he holds the piece of fabric with too much force, shoving it on his face.

"Ye'r too fuckin' sweet, I'll give you that" he mumbles in a drunken haze. "Need to taste that drippin' cunt of yours 'night"

The bed creaks again, or maybe it's the sound of his bones starting to give in to old age, but Joel is sucking your clit, tongue pushed inside of your puffy folds. You hide a moan against his lips, hands traveling to grip his hair.

"Joel" you breathe out. 

He parts your folds easily, and before you know it, a rugged finger circles your entrance. Your back arches, and then he leaves place for his mouth again, flicking your sensitive core with his tongue. A moan a little too loud escapes your lips, making his eyes darken when the bed next to you shifts, Sarah tossing in her sleep.

"You dumb fuckin' brat. What'd I say?" his hand slams against your pussy, a sting you've never felt before, both showered in pain and pleasure, spreading across your cunt. "Don't disobey me. Apologize, now"

He stops his minstrations, and you're so achingly close to your orgasm, that the answer falls easy and rushed from your lips.

"Sorry, Mr. Miller"

"Good girl" Joel praises as he pushes his finger in, next to his tongue on your clit.

But the orgasm is so deliciously close, and you can't wait for more. So now you're grinding in his face by reflex, rubbing against his big nose just like you'd imagined. You whine at the sensation, and Joel rests his tongue flat on your clit with surprise.

"Who gave you permission to do that?" but his voice sounds more amused than nagging. "That imagination of yours is somethin' else. Have you been thinkin' bout it all this time, hmh, greedy dirty slut?"

The orgasm looms closer, hitting when Joel pushes a second rough finger in, walls clenching against his digits. He pulls away, licking his fingers with his tongue.

"Such a perfect pussy you got there, sweetheart. As sweet as you when you ain't bein' a pain in the ass"

You laugh breathless, trying to recover.

"Wanna taste?"

So now he's kissing you for the first time, his lips rough against plush skin, nibbling with your lower lips between his teeth, his tongue still tasting like you roaming free inside your mouth, like he wants to mark every corner; imprint himself in you. You've never wanted anything, hell, anyone more. The kiss leaves you hanging, heart racing at the closeness of his face and the warmhearted feeling of his lips on yours, like pieces of a puzzle fitting together.

"There you go" he chuckles, enamoured at the sight of your puffy lips. "Now it's my turn"

He's quick to get rid of the jeans and belt (oh well, it'll be another day) until he's over you, just wearing his boxers.

You'd never seen Joel naked before, why would you? But there's a vague memory of hot summer days, trying to survive the heat in the town's pool, just as the rest. He was there, eye candy for the mothers and horny teens. You hadn't understand back then, when he was all muscle, but you do know, where the mighty strenght is still hidden there, somewhere between his sturdy arms and chest as soft as his belly, round as it pushes above the only piece of cloth that forbids you to see his dick. His chest is full of hair, and God, you feel so dirty wanting to bury your face in the sweat drenched patch.

"Stop lookin' at me like that" he teases, but there is a small voice of insecurity hiding its undertones beneath his smirk under your stare.

"You're so fucking hot, Joel" comes out before you can stop it, now mouth acting up on its own.

Fuck, he thinks, he's too far gone. There's no point of return.

Your eager fingers pull down the underwear, fingers grazing the softness of his length. You slowly grabs his dick as he comes closer, never seeing anything as big and provoking as it. That makes you tighten your grip on his dick, which stands proud and tall, leaking precum, and the muscles of his thighs strain against his skin. 

He positions himself between your legs again.

"Let's put this big bad boy to use, huh?"

He grunts at your words, large hands finding your thighs for support, as he caresses up and down the skin littered with marks and kisses.

Joel pushes in. Just his tip, yet your mouth falls open at how large he already feels, and you tighten your hold on his neck.

"Tell me if it hurts" all softness on his eyes, his forehead falling against yours, as if he hadn't been punishing you just minutes ago. Your heart races at the gesture, tender meeting the rough of his edges.

The real question isn't asked, but you're on the pill and you trust him. You just want to fill him inside of you, all of him.

"I will, Mr. Miller"

He slams all the way in. You let out a broken sound, quickly muffled by his palm as he stays buried deep inside of you, givimg you time to adjust to his size. It burns, but you enjoy the way the pain feels. He slowly pulls out, before pushing all the way in again. Your slick folds take him, and he grunts, supporting his aching body by the forehead against yours one more time.

"So tight, sweetheart. Ain't nobody ruinin' this pussy but me" his growl comes out possesive as Joel establishes a steady rhythm. You softly moan as he keeps moving, pounding into you, hitting a spot no one had before, making you see stars. It gets harder to stay quiet, but Joel caputres every little sound that comes out of you in a kiss, as if that way he could preserve them better and forever.

You wrap your legs tight around him, keeping him close as your walls clench around him, his thrusts harder yet slower as he keeps going, ramming into you.

"Look at you, coatin' my dick like a fuckin' meltin' ice cream" he gently pushes it again between your folds, rubbing his dick on your clit. "So fuckin' wet, for me"

His lips are slightly parted and his eyes looked all fogged up, lost in the fire, thrusts becoming sloppier as he too feels it coming.

"So fuckin' pretty" drips from his mouth, and there's the stars in your eyes and the light you insist he's always had, even if he'd prefere the darkness. "The prettiest girl in the world with the sweetest pussy, givin' it all to this ol' perverted fuck"

The words and his big dick inside of you makes your eyes flutter shut on instinct.

"Don't sleep on me, baby" he coos, a hand brushing damp hair from your face. You recognize the look: the same in the car, on the balcony and on the poarch of his house, after letting the years go by. Back then, you thought you had dreamed it, but now that the secret saccharine sweetness reveals herself as he slams into you, you know it was real.

This is real.

You meet his gaze again and try to hold it as he pounds you so gently yet so rough, trying to show him without words that whatever this wrong and sick feeling was, you felt the same.

"Such'a good girl, takin' me so well" Joel grunts, slamming to the hilt. "Fuck, sweetheart, I'm gonna-"

His dick twitches inside of you, walls spasming around his cock as your pussy takes it all, milking him dry.

"Take it all, like the good girl you are"

Both of you pant, and it takes him a while to realize the sun is raising again until its rays hurt his eyesight.

He's about to tell you how this shouldn't be, how he, at such an old age shouldn't be pinning for his daughter's friend: so young, sweet and loud-mouthed. No matter if you felt the same, or if your body was marked in and out by him, No, because wanting isn't enough, and no tide could wash away his sins from the shore.

"Listen, y/n-" your name like he has never said it before: no scold, no malice nor lust. Just a softness he hadn't felt in years, asleep under thick layers of cold.

But your soft snores fill the silence between the beats of his heart.

tags: @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @pedrosgrogu thank you sm for reading! hope u enjoy it :)

[babybearnation]

you're wonderin' why half his clothes went missin'

⎇f1 drivers x gn!reader - you walk in on each other changing (reactions) ⎇contains: alex albon, arthur leclerc, charles leclerc, dino beganovic, george russell, zhou guanyu, kimi antonelli, lance stroll, lando norris, liam lawson, logan sargeant, max verstappen, mick schumacher, ollie bearman, oscar piastri, paul aron, pierre gasly, yuki tsunoda ⎇author's note: this randomly switches order occasionally, soz lol (kofi for long fics) ⎇content warnings: suggestive (alex, arthur, dino, george, kimi, lando, liam, logan, max, mick, oscar, pierre, yuki), minor injuries (charles, logan, mick, yuki), insecurity (lance, logan) ⎇word count: 2k

alex albon:

he's the type to knock before immediately walking in without waiting for a response so when he does that and stumbles upon you getting changed, he feels bad. not too bad though because damn, your body is fucking fine, but he's apologising and turning his back to you so you can finish up. if you're okay with it, he'll make suggestive jokes later on but he's mostly just apologetic.

when you walk in on him changing, he won't even care. he'll gesture for you to carry on when you trail off mid-sentence. if you do, then it'll lead to nothing. if you don't, however, he'll abandon getting changed in favour of teasing you, flexing his muscles and playfully offering to pin you against the wall so you can get a closer look.

arthur leclerc:

the second he realises he's walked in on you changing, he's shutting the door behind him with a smirk. unless you demand he get out, he's not leaving. he's leaning against the door and staring until you either give up on getting changed or you finish changing and call him out for staring. he's not apologetic once.

he doesn't care. he'll invite you to get undressed so you two can have some fun, but if you say anything other than a full yes, he'll smile at you softly and focus on getting changed. after he's done, he'll give you a kiss before carrying on like nothing happened. if you say yes, however... well, i'm sure you can guess what happens.

charles leclerc:

he walks in, looking down at his phone, before looking up when you tell him to get out. he sees that you're half undressed and ends up turning and running right into the doorframe. it's a cliche, yes, but you can't tell me it wouldn't happen to poor charles. you end up having to speedily get dressed so you can take care of him.

he might be a bit shy when he realises you've walked in on him changing, but he won't demand you get out or ask you to join him. he'll quickly finish up and then carry on like normal. if you wanted something to happen, you'd have to be the one to push it to happen because he's just very respectful and sweet.

dino beganovic:

he's cocky. he sees your total state of undress and just stares until you notice his presence. when you finish getting dressed and finally notice him, he can't help but playfully pout at you, decrying you for depraving him of his view. smack him upside the head.

if you walk in on him, however, there's no teasing or staring allowed. he will beg you to leave and, because you're just so nice, you kiss him before leaving. it makes him flush something wicked but he can't help but smile over you and the way you make him feel.

george russell:

he doesn't care. this man has lifted his shirt up and pointed at people in the paddock before, he does not care. you could walk over and tell him to stop getting dressed and he'd do it. if the sight makes you blush, however, you are definitely getting teased by him. he won't let you live that down.

he's a gentleman, so unless you've said that it's okay for him to stay in the room when you're getting dressed or if you've gotten dressed around him before, he'll do a complete 180 and leave the room. he's respectful, especially if the relationship is still in the early stages.

zhou guanyu:

he's chill. you're his partner, why should it matter that you're seeing his half naked body? he will literally carry on changing as he asks you what's up and what you need. he's so chill that there isn't even a single opportunity for the situation to turn sexual or awkward lol.

if he walks in you, however, he'll turn his back and apologise, very clearly awkward. it makes you chuckle because the two situations are the exact same, yet his reactions are very clearly not. you'll have to hurry and finish changing because he refuses to turn around or even move otherwise.

kimi antonelli:

his reaction will depend on how undressed he is. fully? he's blushing and telling you to get out. he just has his shirt off? eh, whatever, that's fine. he'll try and hurry you up though because he does wanna finish changing sometime soon lmfao.

he's blushing and shyly taking in your appearance if he walks in on you. he'll probably alert you to his presence and quickly do what he needs to do before leaving. whatever you do, do not tease him about his reaction because he will not go light on you.

lance stroll:

insecure. i don't know why but he gives off those vibes. so when you walk in on him changing, he might shyly snatch his clothes/towel up to cover himself with before politely asking you to leave. you better respect his wishes though, otherwise he'll probably get pretty upset.

contrary to how many view him, i think lance is quite the respectful guy and he would definitely cover his eyes and apologise for walking in on you changing. if you're fine with it, he'll carry on as normal, but if not, he'll feel kinda bad and will definitely ask how he can make it up to you. just let him kiss you until he stops pouting, yeah?

lando norris:

does not care. y'all saw the fucking strip poker pictures. he will invite you in and it'll remain pretty casual unless you push it further. but, if he's undressing to get into the shower, you will be asked to join him and he fully intends that shower to go only one way. say yes, it'll make him happy, i promise.

if he walks in on you, he might act all embarrassed and shy about it, but he's peeking through his fingers as he's apologising for staring. unless you're legitimately upset, he'll continue to peek until you tell him to stop pretending in which case he's all but rushing forward to get his hands on your body.

liam lawson:

eh, he's not really bothered. you saw his half-naked body, oh no, what will he do? he legit doesn't care. if you get flustered or shy, though, he may start to take interest in your reaction. and yes, this will lead to him going shirtless around you more often just to see you blush. idk, he gives off those vibes.

literally will just carry on doing what he needs to do if he walks in on you changing. again, he's not really bothered. you two are dating. he's bound to see you naked at one point if he hasn't already. if you're a bit more shy and flustered about it, he'll leave, but he'll vow to make you feel more comfortable being naked around him - not just sexually.

logan sargeant:

it depends on the day. if he's feeling a bit more downcast, he might politely ask that you come back in 5 minutes, but if he's feeling a lot better, he'll happily let you carry on. maybe even pull you into his arms for some quick fun if you catch my drift.

if he walks in on you, however, poor baby is apologising before asking what you want him to do. respectful. depending on your response he'll either slump back against the doorframe and watch you change or absolutely fucking eat dirt by tripping over as he tries to leave. and yes, there is no in between lol.

max verstappen:

might blush the tiniest amount if you walk in on him changing but he acts like everything is fine because it is. you're his partner, why can't you see him changing? the only reason he's blushing is because, well, you do stare at him quite intensely sometimes.

if he walks in on you, he'll freeze up momentarily before smirking and making a very blunt comment about how enticing the exposed part of your body looks. he loves when you get all sassy and sharp with him, but he likes it just as much when you get all shy and blushy. he's a charmer, really.

mick schumacher:

blushes. straight up just dies. he's proud of his body, don't get him wrong, but at the same time... he's shy. if you leave, he'll appreciate it but he also won't complain if you go over and give him some very specific attention. you can decide what that attention will be.

if he walks in on you? he's another person who's hitting the doorframe as he tries to leave. definitely not as bad as charles would, but he's whimpering and covering his face in the doorway and you'll probably end up abandoning all ideas of getting dressed to make sure he's okay. poor baby only blushes more when he sees you abandoned changing to make sure he was okay.

ollie bearman:

you think this man isn't pulling his phone out, ready to take pictures of you the second he has your consent? wrong. he loves taking pictures of you (he gives off that energy) and sure, most of them are bad quality, but he loves them for the memories. he has no cares what so ever about walking in on you changing unless you have cares in which case he'll back off and be polite.

you walking in on him, however? everyday occurrence. common. you don't even have to walk in on him. he's constantly shirtless. obviously, changing clothes is a lot different than just being shirtless, but even then he really just does not fucking care lmfao. he loves you, so why should he?

oscar piastri:

like a few of the other drivers, he's pretty chill about it. he might cover up at the very beginning stages of your relationship out of courtesy but it's moreso for your sake. he really doesn't care. he might softly tease you if you get shy about it though.

if he walks in on you, he's gonna be respectful. he'll cover his eyes and ask you to tell him when you're done. when you do, he'll take in your outfit and compliment you before cursing because he forgot what he came in the room for. that's assuming you put clothes on, of course...

paul aron:

he might feel awful about walking in on you changing, but he won't be overdramatic about it. he'll apologise and either continue on or leave, depending on your reaction. he's respectful and super polite and once you're done changing, he'll compliment your outfit.

(if you follow my fake texts) you have a shirtless photo of him as your contact image for him. he really doesn't care about you seeing him getting dressed at that point. sure, if he's totally naked, it'll be more awkward, especially at the beginning of the relationship, but he's a pretty chill guy and will get over it soon enough.

pierre gasly:

again, he's chill. you can walk in on him changing and he'll ask what you're searching for or how you are. you'll probably have to be the one to push it in certain directions, depending on what you want, but apart from that, he's chill.

walking in on you, however? pierre's horny. straight up. you're hot as fuck and, unless you kick him out, he's gonna sit there and take in his view until you sigh and tell him to come over and do something instead of staring. and who is he to say no to that?

yuki tsunoda:

blushering. stammering out apologies. turning and stubbing his toe on the door frame before promptly spitting out a string of curses. this is what yuki would do after he walks in on you changing. it's very funny and you can't help but laugh at him because he really didn't need to react that way at all.

you walking in on him will make him blush, but he'll shyly ask you what's up as he continues to get dressed. if you interrupt him getting dressed, he's gonna get even more shy before randomly having a confidence boost that results in your neighbours filing a noise complaint.

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[ethereallyjade]

Pick a Card: How Will Next Semester Go?

Choose a photo that calls to you and the cards will tell you a message. As always, this is just for fun. Do not take anything seriously or above legal or medical advice. If you're interested in personal tarot readings and want to support me, check out my Paid Readings! Masterlist

1 - 4

Images are not mine

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ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟙

It's gonna be real smooth. You're getting it all put together. I'm sensing that many of you may be graduating this semester. Older sibling/senior energy. There's a sense of everything finally coming together or something wrapping up nicely. Something is finished. I'm hearing 'Good riddance!' Signed, sealed, and delivered!

Your grades are going to be gorgeous. There's some kind of celebration, lots of smiling. You're going to feel very happy and abundant this upcoming semester. You'll have all your ducks in a row and feel very ready for whatever is next for you.

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟚

I'm getting a kinda ridged energy here, but you guys will make it through. You might have a really hard class this semester, but I'm seeing that the thing that's standing in your way the most is yourself. Do not be afraid to ask for help: talk to your teachers, find tutors, watch youtube videos, etc. Put the time in. But most of all, don't allow negative thinking to get in your way. Don't tell yourself that you're gonna fail or that you can't do it, especially before the class even starts. That kind of self talk feels like nothing in the moment, but if you keep doing it it will affect you in the long run and not only adds unnecessary stress on you but can lead to other disorders. So, like, nip in before it gets out of hand.

Give yourself the chance, do your best. You might not get the grade you want, but you will pass this class or whatever it may be. Things might start rough or confusing, but I'm seeing that you'll start catching on towards the end. So, just put in that extra work when you can and you'll be fine.

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟛

Similar to the last group, things might be a struggle at first, but you will catch on fast. Are some of you doing something new? A freshman? I keep seeing a young person going into college for the first time. Like, they didn't take things seriously, they were partying, going out to eat too much, hanging with friends, not doing homework, but then something happens and they're like 'Oh sh*t, this is real.' Can you relate to this? I'm seeing that you're gonna get hit with that wave of 'Oh, I actually have to lock in this time around.' There will be no avoidance or immature behavior this semester. The cards are saying to start getting your sh*t together lmao.

Not to wish bad fortune on any of you, but I'm really getting the sense of like... you will fail if you don't put in the effort. Like, go talk with your advisors, talk to your teachers, get a calendar. Everything you need to succeed is right in front of you, but no one can help you if you never ask. Watch your spending habits, don't cheat, do your homework, surround yourself with supportive good people, organize you work and time. This semester is really what you make it.

ℙ𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝟜

I'm seeing giddy, more energetic, friends, and fun. This is a more laid back semester. You've been working hard, been very mature in your schooling so far, and I'm seeing that you'll just be reaping the rewards from your past efforts. Maybe you'll be working on a passion project or doing an internship. Something that doesn't feel like real work, because you'll be so into it. You'll be feeling stable and calm this semester, feeling accomplished and just better.

You might be getting more popular. I keep seeing that kind of student that walks into any room or class and just knows somebody. If that's not you, you might just be a familiar face to a lot of people because they've seen you all over campus or at events. Either way, others are starting to recognize you for something. If you don't have good and supportive friends already, you might find them this semester.

[anavilante]

@caterina07121 The flak-happy moment is one of my absolute favorite moments in this film. I could talk about it for hours. What Bucky did there is something that is highly condemned in the military community by higher command. Relating this to Harding, for example, a lower-ranking officer has no right to speak to you like that during wartime. You're the boss, and you’re supposed to be an authority figure for these guys, an authority so strong that you can send them to their deaths, and they’ll accept it with understanding. That’s why your authority must be unshakable and inviolable.

But Bucky had this confrontation with him not one-on-one about a specific disagreement—he did it deliberately, publicly, demonstratively in front of the other guys. Honestly, he should have gotten into serious trouble for that stunt… but Harding doesn’t punish him. Because in reality, Bucky in that moment is flak-happy—he’s reckless and beyond caring about his personal safety. Harding should punish him, but he doesn’t, because this guy is out there flying and directly experiencing the horrors himself in the sky, while Harding remains on the ground. And this says a lot about Harding as a commander.

And then there’s Gale’s reaction in that moment, it’s so interesting how he looks at John, warningly, almost pleading with him to stop, yet does nothing. Because this isn’t their fun, friendly banter where Bucky allows Gale to rein him in.

No, this is a confrontation with the boss, and Gale just quietly stands there, capable only of glancing at John, sending signals that it’s better to shut up, but still not intervening in the conflict.

By the way, pay attention to how heavily Gale is breathing ⬆, how emotionally involved he is in this scene, even though he’s standing off to the side, trying to fool everyone with his poker face. He’s scared that John will face serious punishment for his outburst, and at the same time, he’s powerless to do anything about it.

This scene is so primal it makes me want to howl. One day, I’ll draw parallels with animals in it.

And after everything is over, Gale doesn’t lash out at Bucky, doesn’t smack him on the forehead with a “You idiot, what were you thinking?!” Quite the opposite, actually. He gently and subtly tries to distract Bucky, to soften his aggressive mood.

This scene is truly a masterpiece.

And I haven’t even mentioned how brilliantly it’s shot. There’s the foreground with John and Harding, the background with the other pilots, and then Gale, who doesn’t belong to either the foreground or the background - he holds his own unique space in the middle. The cinematography here is absolutely magical.✨

Masters of the Air - Season 1 Episode 4

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

SEMI-FINALS MATCH 2

Karlach propaganda:

“Sweetest girl ever. She could throw you across a room. She can burn down a house. But she just wants a hug and to be cared about and to live her life.” 

“Definitively overused phrase but she's a golden retriever she's so cute!”

“She's the perfect woman!!! She's so nice and cute and silly and strong and wow I love girls”

"Karlach is the champion slave of one of the Devils in a layer of hell, and was sold to her by someone she trusted, and on TOP of that she is an experiment with an engine for a heart and she knows she’s going to die and is in fairly constant pain but DESPITE that she is relentlessly positive and outgoing and silly because her spirit cannot be fucking crushed no matter WHAT"

Claude Propaganda:

"To say Claude has trust issues is an understatement—you have to spend half the game earning his. (Claude isn't even his real name!) Once you have it, though, he's absolutely ride or die for you until the stars go out. He is so full of heart and ambition: He wants both sides of his heritage to get along, he wants to open borders and eliminate xenophobia and promote equality between commonfolk, and deep down, I think he craves a partner to stand with him at that new dawn, or an equal who sees his vision for the future and will fight for it just as hard. Nobody believed in him when he was a kid, but if you put your faith in him, he'll return it tenfold. Some people don't like that he's calculating, or has to leave the player character at the end of the game to go back to his homeland, but both are necessary elements for his goals to change things. He will always come back, and everyone who bets against him and his love for his companions is wrong with a big fat W. #KhalidForMostDatablePrez"

"Claude is a fun little onion of facades. He calls himself the embodiment of distrust, he acts like he's carefree and without worries, an unscrupulous schemer--and so many in universe buy into that hook line and sinker. He's used to others viewing him with suspicion and uses it as armor to obscure his not-so-dark truth: that he cares immensely, that he values minimizing the loss of life, and that above all he has so much hope that people will fundamentally choose to do better given the choice.

His front guards a center that his conflict filled world would be happy to tear apart. As the child of people from two nations in constant conflict--one of which is explicitly isolationist and dehumanizes those outside its church's reach--he hasn't really had a place where he can be without his facade. As a child he thought he could run, but when confronted with the fact that this hatred existed no matter where he ran, he chose to instead try to create a more just and kind world.

His inability to let others in beyond his facade at first may lead to a sense of distance, but isn't it then all the more satisfying when you're allowed in? All he wants is a little trust, a little faith, and--like what he wants to give everyone--a chance to be better.

And like that you got a charming young lad with a fun personality that your grandma would be thrilled to have stay forever."

[dreadnoughtus101]

do you have some headcanons where the reader is one of Daichi's younger sisters who's also a first year and is dating Tsukishima?

OMG YES!

Head Canons

Dating Tsukishima as Daichi's younger sister

______________________________________________________________

He would not like it when he finds out you two were dating

Would probably try to convince you to leave him

For the first few weeks after finding out, he treats Tsukishima more stricter than the others

Tsukishima would probably just roll his eyes and say whatever.

The whole team would make fun of Daichi for "allowing" it to happen

Tsukishima would probably be very hesitant to start dating you because you're his captains younger sister

Would definitely wait for you to make the first move

Daichi would have the "What are your intentions with my sister?" talk with him

The whole team would be ready to fight Tsukishima if he hurt you

Daichi constantly making sure he treats you well

Daichi would EVENTUALLY get over it, and start giving Tsukishima tips on ways to make you happy

"Y/n, why is he at our house AGAIN?!"

Still hates whenever he comes over

Preaches safe sex to you constantly and asks you once a month if you're pregnant

If he ever see's you crying, he automatically assumes it's because of him

"What did he do?!" "Nothing..? I just saw a sad cat video.."

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Wait you wrote some of the Dragon Prince's Reflections short stories? That's awesome, congratulations! What was that like and how much lore did the showrunners give you access to, or were you allowed to make your own additions to canon? 😃 Which ones did you work on if I can ask? Thanks!

Oop, this question came in while I was answering another one! I just went over which Reflections stories were my work here! tldr, most of the first volume and one in the second volume.

I worked with Devon on ideas to pitch, and then on crafting and polishing the ones that got approval. I only needed to know a little bit of lore from upcoming seasons in order to write the stories, but with the timeskip between S3 and S4, I necessarily had to know a few things, like "so it's been two years."

I did get a couple of references to look at, such as the design of the soul candle for "The Queen's Soul," since that was an asset they'd already created for the show. And I did get to watch an early version of the first episode of S4, for character/design/location/etc reasons. A picture is worth 1000 words, etc. But most of my stories were just little bubbles stuck on the side of the main plot bubble - as the Reflections series was originally pitched to be! It's full of treats and foreshadowy lil clues, but in the end it's just fun supplemental material for the extra nerdy to indulge in! So there was some freedom in pitching and writing, as long as it held to theme, and we had a lot of fun bringing these little moments to life.

Crackledrake is my favorite short story because I got to add the cute little ritual to Sunfire canon and created the lore behind it. It's inspired by the real-world tradition of snapdragon, so you can see I was super inventive with its TDP name there! I gave Janai and Amaya their own Xadian fruits and nuts, though, as they deserve. I can't say I did so with a straight face, though. My face was extremely gay about it, actually.

Rise Again was another of my pitches that got accepted, and writing it really helped me connect with Claudia in a way I hadn't before. I've felt differently about her ever since, and that wouldn't've happened if I hadn't gotten to spend time with her and give her Burnt Biscuit.

I think Changing of the Guard was already in the pitch lineup, but I was really excited to get to write for Soren and Corvus. I always enjoy when opposite personalities try to come together! I tried my best to add some angst into Corvus' backstory, but I had to trim it for length so he remains mysterious. But King Ezran's Belly Full of Jelly tart-eating contest is a thing I've put into the world, and I'm genuinely pleased with that. And then there's all the *waves Sorvus flag*. I just think they're neat! (and you're welcome)

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Do you think of Ginny as a “pick me girl”? Some of the things you say in your post makes her come across as that, which is sad since she is a strong female character and there’s so many m|m bloggers who shitting on strong female characters these days.

I don't know if you're just looking for a fight or if you're genuine, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt about this subject once.

Yes, I think Ginny comes off as a bit of a "pick me" which I already wrote about here, which I don't think was intentional on JKR's part. I don't think Ginny was intended to come off the way she did.

Like, Ginny in the early books is just, really boring, in my opinion. and I think Ginny in book 5 had the potential to be an interesting character. She had a good sense of humor and she seemed somewhat in line with the twins (though on the crueler side), but I despise Ginny of books 6 and 7.

Like, all power to you for like Ginny and her romance with Harry. Truly, have fun with your canon pairing, I wish you the best and that you find many fics that portray them just as you like to see them.

But I don't see them that way. I think Ginny is a badly written character, and I think her romance with Harry is similarly badly written. It has nothing to do with gay ships. Trust me, if Harry was written into a compelling romance with a well-written female character, I'd be all over that. But he wasn't.

I mean, hell, I don't even ship Drarry, which is the most popular gay ship for Harry because I don't like Draco much. I think he's written well for what he is in the story, but I just don't vibe with him.

Becouse I don't need an excuse to dislike a character or a pairing. I can give my reasons, I have them, but I'm (and anyone else is) allowed to say I just don't vibe with a character. Even if Ginny was the best-written character in literature (she isn't) and her romance with Harry was perfectly written (it isn't) I could still shit on her as much as I want to, you know why?

Becouse she's fictional.

Fictional characters can't be offended. You can't be mean to a fictional character. Because fictional characters don't have feelings. They're not real.

You can say you personally find it sad people don't like Ginny the way you do, and you can be personally disappointed — but it isn't objectively sad. It isn't sad for Ginny becouse Ginny isn't real and only real people have feelings. It's sad to you, that's your opinion.

I love Harry, he's my favorite and I made it no secret, but I have good irl friends who shit on him in casual conversation and I can laugh with them when they make a funny joke about him even when we disagree, you know why? — we agree to disagree. We know Harry is fictional and that he doesn't care. Because he isn't real, he can't care.

So, for me, it doesn't matter if you shit and hate on fictional characters and fictional relationships as long as you're decent to real people.

You aren't a misogynist for disliking a female fictional character. She's fictional. She isn't real. You would be a misogynist if you mistreated irl women because they're women. In the same vein, you aren't a homophobe for disliking a popular gay ship. You would be a homophobe if you mistreated irl gay people because of their sexuality. You aren't wrong for disliking a fictional character or ship for any reason, even if the reason is just "vibes". You would be a dick if you mistreated irl people because they don't think the same as you about a fictional character or ship.

I personally find it sad that fandom seems to have lost the ability to say "agree to disagree" and move on (if the ability ever existed in the first place). I follow some blogs who shit on HJP himself because they post other stuff I find compelling. I follow blogs that post a lot of Drarry because I like how they write Harry even if I don't really care for Draco. You can like someone and enjoy their writing and be friendly with them even if you don't agree with them on some fictional characters and fictional relationships. And if it really bothers you, you can block and move on as many of us do.

So yeah, I think Ginny comes off as a "pick me." I think she's a badly written character, and you can disagree with me on that, you can think she's a strong female character, but that's your opinion, not an objective truth. And I dislike her for being a badly written character, which, I assure you, is gender-natural.

I also think it's important to remember that at the end of the day, we're all just playing with dolls, and the only feelings that matter are those of real people.

[misscammiedawn]

As the Charmed hypnosis convention nears I have been attempting to practice my hypno-theory. Being with regular partners and working on their minds for elongated periods of time makes it so a tone of voice or a sharp look are enough to skip a structured induction.

But if I am to continue being an educator in the space (The panel we are on, Hypnokink and Plurality, is scheduled for the afternoon of Thursday January 23rd and is available at the event and streamed online) then I should be stretching myself a little more to have things to discuss when I go back to doing classes on inductions (Hypnotic Presence returns for Beguiled).

Hypnosis is a level of focus and dissociation. An altered state where the mind is no longer actively processing things and allows for a breakdown in critical thinking as well as a heightened sense of suggestibility. It's not mind control, it's just putting a person into a state where they are more open, biddable and agreeable which, when added to disconnection from active processing, allows a suggestible person to experience some things or to create some associations which can be used for fun.

One of the more popular starter inductions is the Ericksonian "my hand/that hand" method in which the hypnotee stares at their hand and focuses on it and as their attention becomes more guided towards their hand the hypnotist describes it as that hand. Heightening the disconnect between the person and their own body. It's an effective induction because it focuses more on the physical sensation which is a convincer. The experiences that the hypnotee experiences help convince them that it's working because they can experience the sensations and agree that the disconnect is happening.

We decided to try that on one of our partners this weekend with a twist. She is a kinesthetic type. Which means that she processes things via touch primarily. When hypnotizing a person of this modality you typically wish to describe things in terms of feeling, rather than what other senses perceive.

I wanted to try a visual fixation induction.

So I hand her go into trance and started with a kinesthetic version. Following the Ericksonian method but instead of looking at that hand, I had her stroke her blanket and focus on the sensation until it become a meaningless sensation and she could no longer feel as her finger continued stroking the blanket over and over. I convinced her it was soft and fuzzy like her thoughts and that her wrist was so heavy and could fall when she was too exhausted to keep it up. She mentioned later that she was too focused on the sensation to process the things I said, but she remembers the soft and fuzzy feeling of the blanket spreading into her mind.

After her wrist fell and her hand felt completely detatched I took control of it and allowed her to feel me maneuver the hand above her and extend the finger, focus on the visual and then began to run a relaxation induction as she focused on the finger and let everything else fade away until it was only the sight of her finger; even my words were not something she needed to fully process and as I guided her finger closer she kept staring and kept sinking until I asked her to press that finger to her forehead and then magnetized her finger to pull any remaining thoughts from her head until she dropped.

Honestly. I could have achieved everything I did with that trance so much quicker and with less ceremony... but it's good to practice. It's good to ensure that skills don't go rusty. That you're training all available modalities and so that you, as a hypnotist, can remember that this doesn't just work because the hypnotee agrees to do the things you say.

I forgot how much I enjoyed doing the slow and methodical method. She told me that she enjoyed it just as much and that she was "less coherent than a puddle" by the end of it.

I should do it more often.

[popart-vvv]

Arcana Analysis--The Amazing Digital Circus: Gangle (The Moon)

Only the fourth so far, but this one was the most difficult for me in terms of choosing which arcana fits best. Here we go!

Next up is Gangle, a super-emotional woman with the motif of masks. Also the star of the most recent episode, which most of this essay will cover. I chose her card as The Moon, number eighteen in the arcana deck. A card representing illusions, anxiety, and the subconscious, it fits very well with Gangle's limelight episode, Fast Food Masquerade.

Gangle's most prominent character trait is her comedy and tragedy masks, both of which represent her moods. She's cheerful in the comedy mask, and downbeat in the tragedy mask. Unfortunately, the former gets broken easily, and it happens a lot, thus most of the time Gangle is in tragedy mode. Here's the thing, though--Gangle's real face is her tragedy mask. So what does that make her comedy mask?Fast Food Masquerade gives us an answer. Not only does the title itself hint at Gangle's true nature, it also evokes The Moon.

After yet another comedy mask is broken thanks to Jax, Gangle is offered an unbreakable plastic mask by Zooble, a player with an abstract body. She's delighted by the new mask, and it gives her a mood boost. Then we get to the adventure of the day, Spudsy's. Gangle is made the shift manager by Caine the ringmaster. Sounds like a moment of stupidity, considering Gangle's meek personality up to this point, but as it turns out, she has experience in the role stemming from her pre-Circus life. She takes the job very seriously, and the mood boost allows her to dominate Jax for once.

Now comes the dominant theme of the episode--"masking". We pretend to be different from our true selves in a certain situation. And it can't get any more literal than Gangle and her masks. Despite the mood boost, she doesn't seem to truly be happy. As a matter of fact, there are visual and aural clues that she's slowly losing her sanity over the course of the workday, meaning that she was dangerously close to Abstracting. The two key moments are when Jax and Ragatha comment on Gangle's new chipper nature; the former says "I like you better when you're sad", and the latter, hopped up on Stupid Sauce, says "you're kind of annoying when you have your happy mask". Both of them are followed up by a *tink* and a close-up on Gangle. Indeed, Gangle just seems to be faking her happiness with the comedy masks. After sunset, she takes a moment by herself to take off her mask and scream in frustration, unaware that Pomni was close behind. Despite the latter's attempts to reach out to her, Gangle puts the comedy mask back on and tries to mirthlessly laugh it off. She remains miserable for the rest of her shift until Pomni offers to close up shop for her. Once Gangle leaves, she throws away her mask, and despite being in "tragedy mode", she's able to genuinely feel joy and bliss, even if only for a moment.

We also get to dip into Gangle's mind and get some insight as to why she was especially stressed during the adventure. When she punishes Jax for his comment, she uses an instructional video where she makes fun of the viewer for having the dream of being a comic artist. It's a pretty specific rant, which comes back in the end when it's shown that Gangle is an artist herself. So perhaps before the Circus, she wanted to be a comic artist, but was instead working as a shift manager at a restaurant. Perhaps the adventure dug up some bad memories for her, which she kept to herself even when Caine brought up the idea of working at Spudsy's. That's an example of The Moon Reversed, where you push your feelings further within your subconscious.

To cap it off, Gangle's story is evocative of The Moon with the prominent themes of masking. Perhaps in the future, she may start becoming more comfortable with showing her real self and eventually stand her ground against Jax. (please Goose, she's suffered enough! :(( )

[orangeheliophile]

Don't date loud blondes!!

You're not allowed to date until you're in your late 30s. Shouta had made this decision a while ago when you had your first crush on a boy, Bakugou Katsuki.

It was safe to say that the poor man was mortified when he found out. You were happier than usual, and you had this pink tint on your chubby cheeks when you hugged your teddy bear close to you.

Shouta felt his heart drop when you sighed the boy's name while doodling random hearts on a piece of paper. No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. There was no way his precious little sunshine had a fascination with that Bakugou kid. He wouldn't allow it!!

It's not that he hated the blonde brat. He just wanted the kid to stay fifty meters away from you! That kid was already blonde and loud. He'd be damned if you ended up with someone like that.

But alas, if it's one thing that Shouta hated, it was seeing you sad. So he reluctantly took you to the park to go play with the damn brat. He always sat on a bench underneath a nice maple tree, whilst he could keep an eye on you as you had fun on the playground.

As long as the boy didn't try to make you leave the playground and made sure you were safe, Shouta allowed the young blonde to hang out with you. Even if he hated every second of it.

He supposed it was worth it to see you smile and look so happy being with Katsuki. You would hold his hand and ramble to him about whatever was on your mind. The things you did with him. Your father.

But Shouta could only swallow his irritation and-wait, what the shit!? What the fuck do you mean your father isn't your favorite anymore??

No. No, no, no, no, NO!

Shouta could tolerate many, many kinds of things. But him not being your favorite person anymore? Him not being the one you run to whenever you see something that made you happy? Him not being the one to comfort you first when you cried? Him no longer being the person you tell everything to??

No. Absolutely, fucking not.

You weren't allowed to fall in love with that boy. You weren't supposed to fall in love with anybody in that matter. You were his little girl, for fucks sake! He wasn't going to let your heart get broken at such a young age!!

Was this petty and unreasonable? Probably, yes. But did Shouta care? No.

You were his baby girl. The sweetest little thing he has ever met and the light of his life. So why the fuck do you think he was going to give you up so easily?

And so, it began. Katsuki gave you wildflowers from your playdate? Shouta gave you a whole bouquet of your favorite flowers. Katsuki carried you in his arms to prove his strength? Shouta made you sit on his back while he did three finger push-ups.

Katsuki started to get frustrated, of course. There was no way he was going to let some old man beat him! Even if it was your father! So the little blonde started acting more affection with you. He started to write down all of the things you liked and whatever you found interesting.

And so, almost every time they saw each other, harsh glares were thrown as well as snarky remarks. Katsuki would stick his tongue out and curse while your father would just glare holes into the boy's head. It was an endless fued between your father and your childhood crush best friend.

This wouldn't stop even after you and Katsuki got accepted into UA. Shouta would make him do extra work every time Katsuki tried to make a move on you.

You didn't mind this at all, in fact. You got princess treatment and endless love and gifts from the two people who cared the most about you in the whole wide world. So you didn't care if they tried to outdo one another.

Uncle Mic, was your favorite anyway.

[genderqueerdykes]

How to deal w a longtime friend that at some point became a radfem? I was bad at recognising it back then when there were clear signs and didnt know how to argue, so i stayed passive and argeeable, esp since im a nonbinary guy n shes a (sorta questioning) cis girl.

When i showed discomfort with her doing the "i hate all men" type stuff she's said "omg you're not one of those 'not all men' types" and bc i didnt know at the time i backed off, n she also mentioned how she sees/treats both trans men n cis men the same

I mean ive always felt like she's treated me that way, or that i felt like i needed to stay silent or had more priviledge when around her, despite being pre-everything and pr much closeted in my everyday life, or felt more like i was a binary man around her when im not

She has also been sorta weirdly sex/kink negative or made fun of it, for some time i figured that it was just a bit bc of her being sex repulsed n her being immature, but i still felt sorta more ashamed regarding my kinkiness/sexuality around her when not (were both on the aroace spectrum, though i figured out more recently)

Also parroting radfem rhetoric about "well the sex industry is harmful" (..every capitalistic industry is harmful) and when mentioning kinks/fetishes for some reason often brought up "but what about those kinks where people get off to women starving themselves/having problems w their weight" which is like?? Yea okay if they are doing that to real people thats bad but like what kink/fetish spaces do you hang out in where that would be the first thing you'd bring up??

I also once remember her mentioning that she felt weird about her own connection to masculinity, which i sussed and esp now sus might be due to her being this man-hating

She's told me "you don't have an issue w the 'man vs bear' thing since you're a guy right?" but i didnt feel like arguing at that time so i just agreed and quickly moved onto another subject

Looking back at older texts, she's also said before that im "one of the few men she actually respects"

I've realised how harmful and bull radfem rhetoric is now, n i want to keep a distance from her, but idk how to deal w it bc ive always been the more agreeable and peace-keeping one between us

i'm so sorry you had to go through this. radfems are possessive of the identities of everyone around them to the point of coming up with the most asinine bullshit to make other people feel insecure and question themselves and just go along with whatever the hell they're saying. it's toxic and abusive.

whenever i talk about transmasculine and trans male issues, i get those "oh you're one of those not all men types" as well. it's such a useless thing to say. like if the thing you're opposing is people making blanket statements about women and being treated like a monolith, why are you doing it to someone else? that's the example you're setting, but yet you expect different treatment? double standard.

the sex & kink negativity in radfeminism is exhausting, too. it's not progressive. a lot of people choose to go into sex work and enjoy it. some don't mind it. some are okay with that being their job. a lot of people are exploited, but not everyone is. like you said, it's the capitalist corruption of these industry that causes problems. like you said, people instantly jump to the worst possible conclusion when the subject of kink comes up

the normal song and dance is "men who are into BDSM are only straight guys who are misogynistic and want to beat women. women who are into BDSM are scared and confused and being taken advantage of and are enabling abusive men." they have very few arguments and they're all so far out of left field that it's not relevant to the type of conversation you're having in that moment. making blanket statements about all kinky people being abusive in some way... that's profiling.

at this point its your choice if you continue to interact with her. if you do, you are allowed to stand your ground and tell her that those kinds of things make you very uncomfortable and that it's just not okay. if she can't handle that, then it's not your job to try to change her mind. if she cares about you, she'll treat you with respect. i hope that's the case, but you don't owe time or energy to people who treat you like garbage. good luck, stay safe

[eva-does-its-best]

can you shut the fuck up youre making all trans guys look bad so fucking annoying. insane that u cant handle any fucking criticism whatsoever lol holy shit. whole ass fucking paragraph. gotta put that evil mean trans woman in her place right. god forbid someone gets frustrated at being consistently shit on by people in her community. im gonna be so real rn and say that as trans guys / tme people we have it so much easier its actually insane (coming from someone whos been thru corrective rape when i was 12 after i came out as a trans guy btw! theres my fucking pound of flesh. jesus.) not even rly trying to convince u but u just piss me the fuck off annoying as fuck

First off: So sorry about what happened to you, my most sincere condolences. It's the only thing I can really give, hope your life gives you enough peace and happyness to allow you to live with such an event.

Second:

You're making all trans guys look bad

I'm not a trans guy, I'm a transmasc, very different, a difference you should if not care about at least keep in mind if you want to respect less binary forms of masculinity. I don't speak as nor speak for trans guys, because I am not one, maybe if you actually read what I write you would know.

Insane that you can't handle any fucking criticism

Criticism where? Let me be absolutely blunt and sincere: All I see in the posts I replied to is tired, scared and hurt people who cope with said feelings by turning their vents into everyone else's problems.

I vent a fucking lot, everyone can see that, but when I vent I am sincere and point the source of my pain, how I feel, why I feel that way, and which people I believe reinforce it. What I don't do is go out of my way to involve people who have nothing to do with it or with how I feel.

Trust me I know how they feel, and the way they are dealing with it is incredibly self-destructive and I want nothing more than for them to get out of that shitty mental state that hurts them so they can feel better and have a slightly better life and emotional responses to the world.

Whole ass fucking paragraph

Yeah, that is how one transmits ideas. Shocking.

Gotta put that evil mean trans woman in her place right

I've replied to a couple posts so I don't know which one you're talking about, but I've no clue about the gender of the people who I replied to, I simply replied to shitty ideas, don't care who's behind them.

Pretty lame that you try to make this a gender war, don't you think?

God forbid someone gets frustrated at being consistently shit on by people in her community

"her" ok so this is you personally defending someone you know, I can tell.

Statement goes both ways don't you think? You think this is just for fun?? Yeah let's start a conflict that is affecting the lives of real people for fun!

We are fucking tired of the mockery, the disrespect, and the extreme policing of transmasc and trans men's language and experiences by people who have no say in them.

Do you care about that too or are you a hypocrite? Because when I reply to people's shit-ass posts I do in fact care about them otherwise I'd ignore em and let em keep hurting themselves.

"Oh but these ones attacked this person" I. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. There are shitheads everywhere, in every opinion and side of any conflict. There are gonna be shitheads who use this as an excuse to attack people of a certain particular gender they already had something against, it is irrelevant to the ideas exposed. Let's not act like there isn't a whole plethora of posts about killing transmasc please, you SHOULD care avout that too.

As transmascs/tme people we have it so much easier

You're free to have an opinion about your own experiences and I have no horse in that race. HOWEVER:

•You're not the only transmasc in the world and your opinion is very clearly not a universal truth, so don't you dare spit on everyone else's experiences by deciding what's true and what's not without counting with them.

• In your dumbass dychotomy of "tma/tme" transmasc are not the only ones put on the "tme" label and the same way I cannot talk about YOUR experiences you have no fucking right to talk about everyone else's experiences specially the ones from other identities and lives that you did not get to be or experience.

•Without dipping my toes in your opinion or your experiences I profoundly disagree with you.

• Lastly, WHO THE FUCK CARES WHO HAS IT WORSE?! WE'RE ALL FUCKING HURT AND BROKEN WE'RE LITERALLY KILLED IN THIS WORLD FOR JUST EXISTING, YOU WANT A COMPETITION??? GO FIGHT FOR TRANS PEOPLE'S RIGHTS TO COMPETE IN SPORTS INSTEAD OF CREATING OPRESSION OLYMPICS. GET YOUR COMFY ASS OUT OF YOUR INTERNET ARMCHAIR AND GO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON IN THE WORLD FFS.

There's my fucking pound of flesh. jesus.

Again so sorry you had to go through that, but you realize the whole point of this is to be able to have words for those specific forms of opression and awful events right?? To have experiences like that respected and treated with the seriousness they deserve right??? That is what we want.

You experienced transandrophobia, and the people you're defending right now don't want you to have a word for it, or allow only words picked by them as if they had any right to speak for you. Respect yourself more, man.

Not even rly trying to convince u but u just piss me the fuck off annoying as fuck

Hey at least you're honest, good. I don't give a fuck though, if you wanna keep hating me I have good news for you: I don't plan to ever shut the fuck up, enjoy.

The one person you hate is not me anyway, that is plain obvious... but that's a you thing to try and work on.

Sayonara dude👋🏻

[kangshxrtie]

Two | Being in a secret relationship

"It can be our little secret Promise you can keep it" - Secret, Ann Marie ft. YK Osiris

a couple of days later, yunjin invited your entire videography group over to her apartment for drinks, getting-to-know-each-other games, and just to get closer.

"wow, your apartment is so nice, yunjin!" soobin gasped upon walking in.

"hold this, i need to go to the bathroom," chaewon said, handing intak and keeho the bags of food before speeding off.

"where do you want me to put these?" keeho asked yunjin.

"if you go straight past the living room, my kitchen's at the end of the hallway," she told him, pointing in the direction. nien, yeonjun, and soobin followed, carrying their own bags.

you walked in last, allowing you to have a private moment with yunjin while everyone else walked away.

"hey, yunjin! can i set some of my stuff down in your room?" you asked loudly, wanting to give the impression that you'd never been here before.

yunjin let out a small chuckle. "yeah, just follow me."

later, the group were playing drinking games and complaining about their college assignments.

"have y'all heard about the drama in jeno's group? it's crazy," keeho brought up. "so, person a is dating person b, but person c is person b's ex. now person c is dating person d, and person a and person d are playing lovers in their short film," he explained. "it's a mess over there."

"that sounds chaotic," soobin said.

"must be hella uncomfortable for everyone," yeonjun agreed.

sometimes you wonder why yunjin wants to hide your relationship, but then you hear stories like this and you're glad you do. "can i have another one?" you asked yunjin, holding up your empty drink.

"they're in the cabinet by the fridge," yunjin told you, pointing it out.

you stood up and walked to the kitchen. once there, you had an idea.

"yunjin, where'd you say they were?" you yelled out to her.

"in the cabinet!" she replied.

"which one?"

"the one by the fridge!"

"you sure?" you continued to play obliviously even though you weren't even looking.

"here i come," yunjin stood up and walked to the kitchen. as soon as she came in, you immediately pulled her in for a kiss, which she eagerly returned.

while the rest of the group kept talking, you and yunjin were making out in the kitchen.

you can admit, that sometimes being in a secret relationship is fun.

"i'll play some music," chaewon said, turning on the speaker and pressing play on her phone before heading back to the group.

"now we can get started," chaewon said as she sat back down next to yunjin.

"we should play the balance game!" intak said. "you just have to choose the same answer as your partner."

"what are the teams?" yunjin asked.

"we'll just do it how we're sitting," yeonjun suggested.

the teams were: you and nien, yunjin and chaewon, yeonjun and soobin, and intak and keeho.

you all used an app on intak's phone for the questions. intak placed his phone on the table, swiping to the first card, which presented a tame question.

"summer or winter?"

you, nien, intak, keeho, and soobin said winter, while chaewon, yunjin, and yeonjun said summer. soobin and yeonjun had to drink.

"comedy or drama?"

you, nien, yunjin, chaewon, keeho, and soobin chose drama. intak and yeonjun chose comedy, so their teams had to drink.

"morning or night?"

you, nien, chaewon, yunjin, intak, and soobin chose night. keeho and yeonjun chose morning, causing those two teams to drink again.

"lights on or off?"

you, nien, soobin, yeonjun, and keeho chose lights off. chaewon, yunjin, and intak chose lights on. keeho and intak had to drink.

but there are times when being in a secret relationship sucks. watching yunjin and chaewon do love shots in front of you feels terrible.

"i don't think nien and y/n will ever differ," soobin mentioned.

"just date already, you're too compatible," keeho teased.

"shut up," you chuckled in response.

you swiped to the next question and read out the card. "silent or vocal?"

"silent," you answered, and nien said the opposite.

"ohhh, loveshot!"

you looked around awkwardly at everyone in the room, not wanting to do that in front of your girlfriend, but you didn't have any other excuses. you glanced at yunjin, who wasn't even looking at you but smiling in chaewon's face.

"we don't have to, i can take yours," nien whispered as she poured both of your shots.

it also sucks because yunjin ignores you if she gets even the tiniest bit jealous, but you just have to sit here and watch while she flirts with chaewon right in front of your face.

"no, it's fine. it's part of the game, right?" you said with a bite in your tone directed at yunjin, who finally made eye contact with you.

"okay then."

"shots, shots, shots!" keeho and soobin cheered as you and nien entangled your arms, feeding her your shot while she fed you hers.

"you and chaewon are cute," you said as you walked beside yunjin with your arms crossed.

"you know it's not like that," yunjin said.

"do i?"

"come on, y/n," yunjin sighed.

"we also don't match as well as you and her do," you continued.

"that doesn't matter because you know what they say: opposites attract," she said. "and i feel like we attract very well," her voice holding a playful tone.

"i don't," you said, starting to speed walk away, but yunjin hurried and chased after you.

"hey, don't leave. i was just joking," she grabbed your arm, making you face her.

"you weren't," you rolled your eyes.

"true. but i meant what i said—i don't care if we don't have much in common. all that matters is that what we have is real," yunjin grinned.

"you're cheesy," you smiled at her.

"only for you," she used the arm she had a hold on to pull you into her embrace.

in the end, this secret relationship is okay, because you two love each other.

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