#theyre both still petty when it comes to situations like this lmao

[orangeheliophile]

Don't date loud blondes!!

You're not allowed to date until you're in your late 30s. Shouta had made this decision a while ago when you had your first crush on a boy, Bakugou Katsuki.

It was safe to say that the poor man was mortified when he found out. You were happier than usual, and you had this pink tint on your chubby cheeks when you hugged your teddy bear close to you.

Shouta felt his heart drop when you sighed the boy's name while doodling random hearts on a piece of paper. No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. There was no way his precious little sunshine had a fascination with that Bakugou kid. He wouldn't allow it!!

It's not that he hated the blonde brat. He just wanted the kid to stay fifty meters away from you! That kid was already blonde and loud. He'd be damned if you ended up with someone like that.

But alas, if it's one thing that Shouta hated, it was seeing you sad. So he reluctantly took you to the park to go play with the damn brat. He always sat on a bench underneath a nice maple tree, whilst he could keep an eye on you as you had fun on the playground.

As long as the boy didn't try to make you leave the playground and made sure you were safe, Shouta allowed the young blonde to hang out with you. Even if he hated every second of it.

He supposed it was worth it to see you smile and look so happy being with Katsuki. You would hold his hand and ramble to him about whatever was on your mind. The things you did with him. Your father.

But Shouta could only swallow his irritation and-wait, what the shit!? What the fuck do you mean your father isn't your favorite anymore??

No. No, no, no, no, NO!

Shouta could tolerate many, many kinds of things. But him not being your favorite person anymore? Him not being the one you run to whenever you see something that made you happy? Him not being the one to comfort you first when you cried? Him no longer being the person you tell everything to??

No. Absolutely, fucking not.

You weren't allowed to fall in love with that boy. You weren't supposed to fall in love with anybody in that matter. You were his little girl, for fucks sake! He wasn't going to let your heart get broken at such a young age!!

Was this petty and unreasonable? Probably, yes. But did Shouta care? No.

You were his baby girl. The sweetest little thing he has ever met and the light of his life. So why the fuck do you think he was going to give you up so easily?

And so, it began. Katsuki gave you wildflowers from your playdate? Shouta gave you a whole bouquet of your favorite flowers. Katsuki carried you in his arms to prove his strength? Shouta made you sit on his back while he did three finger push-ups.

Katsuki started to get frustrated, of course. There was no way he was going to let some old man beat him! Even if it was your father! So the little blonde started acting more affection with you. He started to write down all of the things you liked and whatever you found interesting.

And so, almost every time they saw each other, harsh glares were thrown as well as snarky remarks. Katsuki would stick his tongue out and curse while your father would just glare holes into the boy's head. It was an endless fued between your father and your childhood crush best friend.

This wouldn't stop even after you and Katsuki got accepted into UA. Shouta would make him do extra work every time Katsuki tried to make a move on you.

You didn't mind this at all, in fact. You got princess treatment and endless love and gifts from the two people who cared the most about you in the whole wide world. So you didn't care if they tried to outdo one another.

Uncle Mic, was your favorite anyway.

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[nightsstarr]

Dance AU & Accidental Eavesdropping with Demonfire or Love Confessor & Bookshop with BBrae! :)

Imma do both

Dance AU

Highschool AU. Maybe at Gotham Academy with the cast of Gotham including Olive and Maps because I love that book

There's a dance at school lmao. My highschool had fall ball and spring fling and I like those names for seasonal dances

Mar'i goes to the dance... with Damian's friend Jon!

Mar'i is going as friends and Jon knows this but he thinks Mar'i is really awesome and wouldn't opposed to kissing and stuff

I imagine a harry potter goblet of fire ron/hermione type deal where Mar'i was waiting for Damian to ask her and he just didn't so she went with Jon a little bit out of spite. But Jon would know this, he wouldn't be a victim of their pettiness.

Damian end up getting really mad and doesn't want to go and Mar'i encourages him that it'll still be fun wothout a date

Some bad guy takes the whole dance hostage or something and the three of them need to save everyone while also staying undercover

While theyre saving everyone Mar'i and Damian are in a high stress situation and they end up yelling at each other and also confessing theur mutual crush

Batman probably shows up and Maps flips out

Jon gets let down easy

Bookshop AU

My first instinct was that Raven owned a store that's actually a witchy shop with crystals and shit and also witchy books

But honestly I'm gonna flip it and have BB own a comic book store (he kept failing community college classes so Dayton just buys him a comic shop so he can have a stable income)

Raven goes in all the time with her goth boyfriend because he likes some manga

BB has a huge crush on her and he always talks her up at the cash register

Raven immediately picks up on his feelings and is uncomfortable at first but appreciates that he never hits on her and respects her space

He ends up recommending a comic book for her which she really enjoys

Her bf eventually breaks up with her but she's not really bothered and she continues going to the comic shop to read the series BB recommended

The last issue comes out and she gets really sad because she won't have a reason to go to the store anymore

A huge rainstorm comes by right when the store is about to close and BB offers to let her stay until it lets up

They end up eating leftover chinese from the fridge in the kitchen and bonding and Raven kisses him on the cheek and leaves her number once the rain finally lets up

[survivor-all-stars-blog]

EP 6: “Like Taking RIce From a Baby” - Gage

JC’S EXIT INTERVIEW

This is my official ode to JC. You are an amazing person and hilarious, and hosting you in Panem was amazing. I feel like shit going into this vote, knowing I had to lie to you and make you feel comfortable. It was probably unnecessary, but I had to make sure that no drama started on your game B tribe. Feel free to yell at me all you want and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. This Bering tribe is my worst Survivor nightmare come to life, because it's filled with all of my friends. I didn't want to lose that tasks challenge, I would've given anything not to. What it came down to was losing one ally in you, versus losing two is Jake and Jessy. My guilty conscience has already screwed Jake over in one game before, and it broke my heart, so I couldn't do it again. You are destined for great things, and I'm destined never to play Survivor again because this sucks.

Me succeeding at chemistry? What is this foreign concept? Steven went to bed at 12K, so the goal is to beat that before I can relax for the night. Can't give the tribe any excuse to get rid of me!

This is a work in progress but I needed to expand on my notes that were already taken. 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1QYtSQkoVTHbbmz7ygzXrg6H5GeobpzNCWa6EIgpfK7M/edit?usp=sharing

A lot of the alliances are speculation, but I'm working on sussing out different relationships. I also need to find out what kinds of stuff people have from Adventureland, because, I'm paranoid af that if Bering loses again, Jessy might pull an advantage and cause the Malaysians to turn on each other.

I'm waiting for people to start getting dirty and sending home people that will still remain in the game. Right now it's very "all-stars best friends" right now. Like people need to start mixing it up. It's boring seeing a linear fashion in both games. The bigger names are all surviving so who knows what clique will prevail! Also this latest immunity made me want to bash my head off a radiator because it was painfully repetitive. Sure it's for a good cause but honey I wouldn't want to be the poor sod counting up precious rice grains. I'll be putting that website on my blacklist.

everyones so far ahead of me in this challenge like.... im losing this for my team and theyre gonna hate me and im gonna be voted out

You know what? Fuck you Jakey!

I feel extremely bad for all my teammates who spent their whole day playing this damn game. It's such a kick in the teeth. Worse again, it means I'm possibly in a perilous position because I was the lowest scoring member of the tribe. It also sucks because I'm forced into a tribal situation again with Steffen sooner than I expected. I swear this game is out to get me. I don't want to boot anyone off this tribe? Literally this sucks. All the boring cool people survive yet again!!!!!!!! Yay!!!!!!!!!

What the fuck even is this twist, I can't even comprehend this.  Pat, Steffen and Wes literally spent all day and night doing this damn challenge and WE WON, we got to ask for an award and then suddenly it gets FLIPPED.  Like, this isn't even okay, I mean, if I were in their position I would have flipped it too but who on their tribes even TRIED? 

This is the most disheartening thing ever and I love my Hudson tribe.  I feel like it's going to be me and that feeling SUCKS so hard.  Just WHY.  

In happier news I should have talked about this yesterday but I don't remember if I did or not.  Maybe?  Probably not.  Anywho, I shared the clue Alex gave me before he left with Carson, so hopefully Carson will find something on that adventure I was supposed to be going on.  And hopefully if he finds something he will share it with me and at least tell me what it was he found.  

That could be a fun plus anyway!  Now it's time to make sure I don't go anywhere tomorrow FSLFJ FUCK. 

Drinking game!  Take a shot every time I say the F bomb,  I normally don't even curse. 

L  mood

ALRIGHT so I tanked the challenge bc I ended up being busier than I expected so whatever. I was going to go to tribal in both games and I knew I was probably going home but Jakey came in clutch and saved my ass and his own god bless. Lydia is going now so Im scared for her but I believe in her. ALSO i got to go on the adventure and I got to the flash game shit and i fucked it up by being a dumbass BUT I GOT ANOTHER CHANCE  and fucked it up again lmao

When I first saw the challenge results, I was more than okay with Andaman and Denali going to tribal. I don't have a particularly strong connection with anyone on those tribes. Jakey would probably go home because he can't vote and is on a tribe with a scorned Ricardo. Well, Jakey wasn't having that! He really hit everybody with that rice remix, huh?? There was no warning or anything, he knew it was fire and just dropped it, no warning. I have never been more happy to be mediocre. If someone took away my hard-earned win, I would be so mad. But it didn't happen to me, it happened to other people, so it's kinda awesome and funny.

Jessy, Pat, Lydia, and Wes are all going to tribal now, and that sucks since I like them. I especially don't want Pat to go home this early. I know he's trying so hard in this game; he deserves better than 20th. He's a great ally to have around too. I tried bouncing some ideas off Pat about what to do this round and hinted that he should try working with Lydia and Wes. Ya know, a little wink wink nudge nudge, please don't vote for them, Pat. I already lost Emma to this dual-games twist, I don't want more potential allies to go home. Thankfully, he was kinda on the same page as me and wants to work with Wes! So that's something, I guess. The tentative plan right now is to get Steven voted out on Hudson using Steffen, since Steven voted Steffen out of Game B. That's cool with me. I have Steven on my Game B tribe, so I could maybe pick him up and work with him if he's feeling a little burned about getting booted in Game A. On Thotse, I don't know what's happening, ha. In my dream scenario, Lydia, Pat, and Wes team up to vote out Jack, but I don't think that's going to happen. Wes is projecting onto Lydia and thinks there's still some bad blood from Port Royal. I don't think Lydia is that petty; she would put smart gameplay before revenge. Who knows what will happen, but hopefully my dream can come true and Jack goes. Nothing against him, I just haven't had much interaction with him.

If the trend of booting the people who are going to both tribals continues though, I feel like Wes will go over Pat. I feel Pat is a little more charming and is better to have around at this stage of the game. Regardless of what goes down, I'm glad there's a little shakeup happening.

It's kind of cute that I made that video last night being like 'well people are gonna figure out I have that Whirlpool idol eventually' and here comes fucking Jessy, self destructing my game as well as her's for no damn reason.  Jack and I talked last night and weighed the options of trying to go for Wes or for Jessy, and Jack was really pushing for Wes.  I know I said that made me really uncomfortable but...it really made sense. 

So, let me paint this picture; I'm trying to go to sleep, drawing up the courage to vote out Wesley even though my gut is telling me not too, and Jack sends me a message.  He calls me and tells me that Jessy is telling him I've got an advantage and using that to try and get everyone to vote me out. Like..........honey we were trying to SAVE you.  She didn't even wait more than 3 hours before starting to throw me under the bus.  

Another problem is that even if we vote her out she's going to tell people I have an idol/advantage and I wouldn't mind just playing it to get rid of the target because I have the Lava idol too, but if I play the Whirlpool one it mixes up everyone's advantage so I'd literally be giving the second idol away to someone else.  

I just really need to hope that Pat is as loyal as he says he is and Jessy doesn't...murder me. 

This is a mess.

Thotse seems almost too straightforward. Jack, Lydia, Wes and I all agreed Jessy is the easy option. Jessy is pushing me and Jack to blindside Lydia, because Lydia found a thing at the adventure and doesn't want to risk it being played. But what Jessy doesn't know I know is that Lydia already told me that this morning, AND she told me what it does. If I believe her. Which... she told me late, so I have SOME reservations. But apparently it's an item shuffler. And that makes sense given the twists we've seen so far.

So the plan is a 4-1 vote on Jessy, with Jessy's vote going on Lydia. If we're lucky, it'll be that cut and dry and I can explain to Jessy that it had to be a blindside because of idol paranoia. If it doesn't go as planned, Jessy idols and Lydia goes which is... not ideal. And if shit REALLY goes sideways, Jessy finds out her plan was never THE plan and she blindsides Jack or myself. Yikes.

On the other side, it's an even more complicated disaster of a clusterfuck of a calamity of a MESS, and it's all because of Steffen. 

I love this dude. Outside the game he's one of my favourite people. Inside the game? Trying to talk strategy with him is so difficult. I came to him with a foolproof idea to team up with myself and Wes and keep ourselves safe for this week, and even laid some groundwork that I would consider voting out Wes if we were decimated to a three person tribe. And his answer was basically "I'll consider it."

Okay, fair. Get all the info you can before making a decision. That makes sense. So I wait until 3ish this afternoon then message him back, asking if he thought about it. And his answer, in a nutshell, was "I think we need to know what's going on at Thotse first." Like.... no? we don't? it couldn't be less relevant? I know what he's doing. He's trying to milk me for info, but fuck if I'm giving it to such an obvious attempt.

So I call him on it, basically allude to the fact that if the games weren't operating independently of one another his ass would be the target tonight, and he doesn't pick up on it. Or else he did and said nothing. So then he goes on and talks about keeping people who can help in immunities, and I'm like, AWESOME. An opening! So I mention that Steven had the lowest score, isn't as dedicated, AND he voted Steffen out. (Sorry when you're reading this, Steven, but I had to say something to try and keep my ass out of the line of fire.)

And Steffen says he's afraid of the perception that might create about vindictiveness. So I'm like.......... fine whatever Ruthie then! Just don't vote out Wes or me because we both are comp help. And he says yes. And that basically summarizes the past hour. 

I've been bashing my head against the wall here. This is a Christie Smith type situation where the swing vote is being SO indecisive that there would be a temptation to wrest the deciding power from him. I even offered him the opportunity to name his target if he wants to vote with Wes and I. There's no way the other two can give him a better deal, right? And yet he's still hemming and hawing and it's getting so frustrating.

Meanwhile Wes is trying to work on Ruthie so we can get in a better spot there. Give us another option if Steffen decides to keep being more wishy-washy than a laundromat. And I told him I wouldn't write his name down, but if he's acting like a threat to my game I'm going to have to consider reneging on that. And the cutthroat style has never been one I actively enjoyed playing, but I also really don't enjoy being played. And that's what this feels like.

If I end up losing Wes in one or both games because of this fuckery, I'm losing my shift. By which I mean I'm only typing in lowercase from here on out.

A soon to be 'alliance' with Wes and Pat? 

An REAL alliance with Steffen and Steven?  YES PLEASE. <3 

I FEEL SO BAD RIGHT NOW, I was like so sure that I wanted to work with Wes going forward but I don't trust the quad alliance of Wes, Pat, Kait and MJ.  That has to be a thing and they aren't going to be final 4 on my watch. It's time to be the sweet, trusting, somewhat ditzy darling again and it's time to cause chaos and make my fallen hero Alex proud!

Tell me how I'm more worried about Pat going to these two tribals and the outcomes of them than when I was going to two in one night??? 

I guess just to recap stuff a little bit. I feel REALLY awful about voting JC out like that. They deserved better, and I really do think that they would've stuck with me, but oh whale. At this point like, there's still 20 people left in the game, you can afford to lose someone not so imperative but also kinda helpful to you. I? would've much preferred we voted Jessy out just because like yeah she's friends with Jake and stuff and I get that, but she also doesn't make an effort to really talk to me and hasn't made any strides to talk game with me so i'm like what's the FUCKENING point????????????? Also that alliance of myself, Jenn, Jake, and Jessy? Sus. I love being on the bottom, oh wow oh wow. 

Anywho, onto this ep! I'm obviously very pleased with where we placed in the challenge, this goes for both of my tribes, seeing as living in mediocrity saved me from going to tribal both before Jake flip flopped the results and after. I feel really bad for Pat having spent the whole day doing that only to end up going to both tribals, but obviously I get why Jake did it. However, him taking the fucking no vote at his next tribals was dumb like........sis wyd. Anywho, I find myself wanting to be all too nosy about what's going on on the tribes and what their tribal is going to be like. I keep having to remind myself just to mind my own fucking business and let things happen how they may. However? Jessy can leave on B, and Steffen can fucking leave already. He's so irritating in games and not even in an entertaining way, like he just is so dry to talk to when it's related to game, srynotsry steffo! 

I just want my showmance safe tru!

Wow. It really does look like it's going to be Steffen. I'm... surprised. I thought for sure he'd come around in time. But while I was gone to band practice, Wes spoke to Ruthie and Steven and solidified a plan to put the votes on him. He really is getting Christie Smith'd. 

I don't like it. But, it's the right move. If he's this indecisive over an early game boot that won't matter down the line, I don't know that anyone can trust him when the chips are down... except me, because we've got a pretty good bond. But one vote doesn't constitute majority on a five person tribe.

This is so frustrating. IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

well i'm back at tribal once again! 

this round was really complicated for me as the immunity challenge presented an even bigger issue than trying to win. jake has an immunity flipper and was going to use it so both of his tribes can be safe! i was gonna go to tribal if he did that (which he did) so i thought it would be mutually beneficial for lydia and i to not submit and she said that she "never forgets" so it wouldn't make sense. literally girl just say you forgot no one cares... anyway i thought i could trust her but she's just a snake so she's cancelled. jack told me she threw my name out right after she tried to reassure me i was safe and honestly i'm literally stunned that this girl can be so nice to talk to outside of the game but can be such a snake inside of it. erin from riau islands was right :/ let's just say time will catch up with her and i will try my hardest to stay in game a when i'm voted off game b tonight. i may not be in the best position right now but i know that when i'm given a task i am very determined. i believe i can get myself out of this situation... i just need to actually be inteligent. 

i'm apparently voting lydia off with jack and pat tonight but i don't really trust it. i think they're paranoid i have an item from my two adventures so they're making me believe that i'm safe but still i would play anything regardless tonight?? i'm legit in the worst position ever lol idk it just doesn't make sense for jack and pat to vote to keep me like... logically with pat being on a tribe with wes in game a. it makes sense for jack at least but as for pat it doesn't make much sense so i'm just praying he's just gonna vote her off anyway... i really think i'm fucked and going home, but i can't do much more than just be anxious lol. i'm basically Fucked. #CutForASwap

on game a i'm basically praying tthat i can bond with kait and jenn enough to where they'll see how beneficial i can be if i'm voted off game b. i feel like even if i'm voted off game b they'll feel that i have nobody in the game but jake and that's a really good thing. it's just... a stretch to say the least lol because i'm on a tribe with three malaysians and they're all really close. i don't know WHAT to do because we already voted JC off so my safety net is already gone. i'm just... i feel like i'm being closed in on and i'm losing wiggle room. i have not many options to make and i'm losing a feeling of security i never had in the first place and it sucks!

i feel like i'm only close with jake and to an extent... carson. carson is really cool to talk to but i know he's won before so he's clearly smart. in the endurance challenge i may have told him too much information so i'm trying to cool down on controlling information. that's a really big issue i have in these games! i'm way too trusting and optimistic (even though i'm paranoid as fuck) so i tend to tell people information easily. i also feel kind of good with ruthie and steven. i really want to be on a tribe with ruthie, she seems really cool and i think we'd get along. god... SWAP please.

that's it for now. 8 minutes before tribal council begins. 

Literally two minutes until tribal and I'm getting super sketchy vibes. 

Jakey using the golden record and causing the winners to go to tribal? Like taking rice from a baby 

I'm glad the Jessy vote worked out, but like... any time this game wants to stop kicking me in the balls, it'd be really appreciated.

sooo i had to use my record this round because i lost on both tribes and had no vote on any of them... lol... i legit had no choice LOL... so jessy's tribe is going to tribal and im hella nervous for her likeeee.... she or lydia is going i presume and they might be mad at me for using my record and take it out on her. if jessy goes im coming after jack so hard like.... no.... you can't DO jessy like that and get away with it. it will be the BIGGEST mistake in this game mark my words. but yea! i feel so insecure on both of my tribes and i just wanna win immunity until im off of these stupid ass tribes oh my goddddd. lets get to 2 tribes, keH? thanks. okkkk umm yeah. ppl might hate me for what i did but i honestly dont care i had no choice sucks for you. i feel like i have no one in this game besides jessy godd why do all my games end up like this. 

im mad at lydia about the whole challenge because she should have just threw her score and her and jessy would be safe but she just didnt... and then she got mad at me when i used it like girl im not giving up my spot in the game for you or jessy to go to tribal once??? like bye. get that ego out of your ass for five seconds, please. i'm sure you're constipated because it's fucking huge. (your ego, not your ass. tho not saying you have a small ass. i don't know what your ass looks like, lydia. i'm sure it's a wonderful ass.)

and yeah im done with everyone and this game. bye.

Well the time has come. Didn't take very long this time did it eh? I just love when online survivor games make you cry because you love your friends THAT MUCH.