#What is the "management of time" according to you?

[joycrispy]

One thing I love about Crowley --never stated, but consistently shown-- is that he is, at heart, an engineer.

I have a few different things to say about that. Let's unpack them.

As the Unnamed Angel, we see his designs for the Pillars of Creation are millions of pages long, comprised of cramped text, footnotes, diagrams, schematics, etc. It's very...Renaissance polymath, in the way it implies a particular intersection of artist and inventor.

Also: in the naked romanticism with which he views his stars.

We already knew he made stars, but in s2 we learn that he did NOT sculpt each of them by hand. He designed a nebula ("a star factory," he says) that will form several thousand young stars and proto-planets, and all --aside from getting the 'factory' running-- without him lifting a finger. We also learn that these young stars and proto-planets stand in contrast to those made by other angels, which are going to come 'pre-aged.'

...I'm reminded of Hastur and Ligur's approach to temptations. Damning one human soul at a time, devoting singular attention to it over the course of years or decades, and how that stands in contrast to Crowley's reliance on, quote, 'knock-on effects.'

Ligur: It's not exactly...craftsmanship. Crowley: Head office don't seem to mind. They love me down there.

Hm.

I'm also reminded of the M25.

The M25 may not be as grand as a nebula (sentences you only say in GOmens fandom...), but LIKE his nebula it's an intricate, self-sustaining engine that does Crowley's work for him, many times over. Again.

That's some pretty neat characterization --and so is the indication towards Crowley's disinterest in victimizing anyone tempting individual people. It takes a considerable amount of planning and effort (and creeping about in wellies), but in accordance with his design the M25 generates a constant stream of low-grade evil on a gigantic scale.

Cumulatively gigantic, that is. Individually? Negligible.

But no other demon understands human nature well enough to parse that one million ticked-off motorists are not, in any meaningful way, actually equivalent to one dictator, or one mass-murderer, or even one little influential regressive. That's the trick of it. Crowley gets Hell's approval (which he NEEDS to survive, and to maintain the degree of freedom he's eked out for himself), and at the same time ensures that any actual ~Evil Influence~ is spread nice and thin.

It's some clever machinery. And he knows it, too:

The Unnamed Angel and Crowley are both proud of their ideas.

(musings on professional pride, Leonardo da Vinci, the crank handle, and 'the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale' under the cut)

In the 1970's Crowley gives a presentation on the M25, projector and all, to a room full of increasingly impatient demons. Maybe the presentation was work-ordered; the 'can I hear a WAHOO?' definitely wasn't.

Before the Beginning, the Unnamed Angel can barely contain his excitement about his nebula. Aziraphale manages a baffled-but-polite, "....That's nice... :)"

11 years ago, Hastur and Ligur want to 'tell the deeds of the day,' and Crowley smiles to himself because (according to the script-book) he knows he has 'the best one.'

(Naturally, his 'deed' has nothing to do with tempting anybody, and everything to do with setting up a human-powered Rube-Goldberg machine of petty annoyance. Oodles of 'Evil' generated; very little harm done.)

Hastur and Ligur don't get it, of course. That's also consistent.

Nobody ever knows what the hell he's talking about.

It didn't make it on-screen, but, in both the novel AND the script-book, Crowley was friends with Leonardo da Vinci. The quintessential Renaissance polymath. That's where he got his drawing of the Mona Lisa --they're getting very drunk together, and Crowley picks up the 'most beautiful' of the preliminary sketches. He wants to buy it. Leonardo agrees almost off-the-cuff, very casual, because they're friends, and because he has bigger fish to fry than haggling over a doodle:

He goes, "Now, explain this helicopter thingie again, will you?" Because he's an engineer, too.

(It is 1519 at the latest, in this scene. Why the FUCK would Crowley know about helicopters, and be able to explain them, comprehensively, to Leonardo da Vinci?

...Well. I choose to believe he got bored one day and worked it out. Look, if you know how to build a nebula, you can probably handle aerodynamics. And anyway, I think it's telling that this is his idea of shooting the shit. 'A drunken mind speaks a sober heart,' and all. He probably babbled about Aziraphale long enough to make poor Leo sick)

Apart from Aziraphale, Leonardo da Vinci is the only person Crowley has any keepsakes or mementos of.

Think about that, though. Aziraphale's bookshop is bursting with letters, paintings, busts, and personalized signatures memorializing all the humans he's known and befriended over 6000 years (indeed: Aziraphale has living human friends up and down Whickber Street. He's part of a community).

Crowley doesn't have any of that. It's just the stone albatross from the Church (for pining), the infamous gay sex statue (for spicy pining), the houseplants (for roleplaying his deepest trauma over and over, as one does), and this one piece of artwork, inscribed, "To my friend Anthony from your friend Leo da V."

To me, at least, that suggests a level of attachment that seems to be rare for Crowley.

...Maybe he liked having someone to talk shop with? Someone who was interested? Someone engaged enough to ask questions when they didn't immediately understand?

...Anyway.

There's also the matter of the crank handle.

This thing:

This is one of the subtler changes from the book. In the book, Crowley knows Satan is coming and, desperate, arms himself with a tire iron. It's the best he can do. He's not Aziraphale; he wasn't made to wield a flaming sword.

The show, IMO, improves on this considerably. Now he, like Aziraphale, gets to face annihilation with what he was made for in his hand. And it's not a weapon, not even an improvised one like the tire iron.

He made stars with it.

[both gifs by @fuckyeahgoodomens]

If you Google 'crank handle,' you'll get variations on this:

Crank handles have been around for centuries. Consisting of a mechanical arm that's connected to a perpendicular rotating shaft, they are designed to convert circular motion into rotary or reciprocating motion.

Which is to say they're one of the 'simple machines,' like a lever or a pulley; the bread and butter of engineering. You'll also get a list of uses for a crank handle, archaic and modern. Among them: cranking up the engine of an old-fashioned car... say, a 1933 Bentley. That's what Crowley has been using his for, lately. But he's had it since he was an angel and he's still, it seems, very capable of it's angelic applications.

Stopping time. For instance.

(This is conjecture on my part, but, I like to imagine that Crowley has the ability to stop time for the same reason I can --and should-- unplug my computer before I perform maintenance on it. Time and Space are a matched set, after all, and in his designs in particular, one feeds into the other.)

I know everyone has already said this, but: I REALLY LIKE that when he needs to channel the heights of his power, he does so not with a weapon but with a tool. Practically with a little handheld metaphor for ingenuity. One from long-lost days when he made beautiful things.

(And he loved it. Still loves it --he incorporated that metaphor into the Bentley, didn't he?)

Let Aziraphale rock up to the apocalypse with a weapon: he has his own compelling thematic reasons to do exactly that. Crowley's story is different, and fighting isn't the only way to express defiance. And if you've been condemned as a demon and assumed to be destructive by your very nature, what better way than this?

He made stars. They didn't manage to take that from him.

Neither Crowley nor Aziraphale are fighters, really --they have no intention of fighting in any war. They'll annoy everyone until there's no war to fight in, for a start. But between the two, if one must be, then that one is Aziraphale. Principality of the Earth, Guardian of the Eastern Gate, Wielder of the Flaming Sword... all that stuff. Even if he'd prefer not to, it's very clear that Aziraphale can rise to the occasion, if he must.

Crowley was never that kind of angel. He wasn't a Principality. He doesn't have a sword.

...And yet.

It's Crowley who protects. He's the one who paces, who stands guard, who circles Aziraphale and glares out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near.

In light of everything else I've said here, I think that's interesting.

Obviously part of it is that Aziraphale enjoys it and, you know, good for him. He's living his best life, no doubt no doubt no doubt. But what about Crowley? What's driving that behavior, really?

Have you heard the phrase, 'loved to the point of invention'? Well, what if 'the point of invention' was where you started? What if where you end up involves glaring out at the world, just daring anyone else to come near? What is that, in relation to the bright-eyed thing you used to be?

What do we name the point to which Crowley loves Aziraphale?

...Thinking about how an excitable angel with three million pages of star design he wants to tell you all about...becomes a guard dog. Is all.

[unhingedgirlythings]

FUCK IT

SUMMERY : Reader gets her date interrupted when Hotch calls up asking for her to get to the BAU. Reader rushes over still dressed up and a certain dr can’t keep her eyes off her teehee.

Tags:fem reader , a huge amount of awkwardness, reader is over her love life

A/N: I WANTED AWKWARD SPENCER REID, bare with me tho cuz I haven’t written a fanfic since I was 13 and it was horrible so please be kind and let me know your thoughts :))) enjoyyy.

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You were used to your phone ringing at the WORST possible times, I mean with your job that was something you just had to prepare yourself for. Serial killers don’t take a break just so you can have a girls night out or take a nice relaxing bath after a long day. Although never in your life did you imagine the wave of relief that would wash over you as the all too familiar ringtone blared from your phone. Normally you would groan and feel your body grow more exhausted whilst hesitantly picking up the phone, but not tonight. Nope. Fortunately for hotch, you couldn’t have answered the phone faster. “what’s up” low and behold hotch was on the other end requesting your presence ASAP!

You tried to hide your glee as you glanced over at the douche-ist blind date that the great quote on quote “matchmaker” of the century Garcia, had raved on about the week before. To be fair the date didn’t start off bad, it was actually the most decent one you’ve had yet. Honestly you were ready to finally praise Penelope for actually finding you a decent man to take your mind off the unrequited school girl crush that you had on a certain “kid” genius. somehow you escaped the dude who clearly was stuck in some frat boy mindset, well not without some snarky comment made towards you which you shut down a little harsher then needed but seriously you couldn’t hold back anymore, you had no idea what possessed Penelope into thinking you would EVER consider going home with the king of fucking douchebags (most likely the biceps and tight clothing that the man sported). Nevertheless here you were speeding down the freeway, thinking way too hard about your love life completely blanking and forgetting to drop by your apartment to quickly change into something more work appropriate.

Before you knew it you’ve parked your car, walking into the cold air. A shiver runs down your body and the shock hits you when you realize. Here you are in a little skimpy black dress that clings to your curves in “just the right way” according to Penelope before shoving you out into your car heading to that horrible excuse of a date, “ahh shit. Fucken seriously! Of course this is just my luck … I mean at least I look good” groaning and mumbling to yourself, you make your way into the building. You knew Hotch would be understanding, I mean you never know when you’re gonna be called in and it sounded urgent so yeah, sometimes you and your coworkers walk in with inappropriate work wear. You will never forget the time he called everyone in at god knows what time, Spencer had walked into the room with his pjs sporting a fluffy dress robe, you seriously thought someone was going to have to perform cpr on you that night.

Walking into the building in heels was definitely a pain in your ass, but you managed as you pushed the briefing room door open. A low wolf whistle from Derek Morgan was the last thing you needed right now “damn sweetheart, who knew you could clean up so nicely“ As you make your way into the room, you playfully roll your eyes at him.“haha very funny” you cringed as everyone’s attention was now drawn to you. while taking a seat next to JJ, wishing to be wearing literally anything else “Sorry Hotch, i came straight from..” you hesitate for a second, glancing around before continuing “A date, but this sounded important so I didn’t have time to change”The stoned faced man simply nods at you “It’s fine. You're here, right now we have a lot to cover” He starts debriefing the team, leaving no detail out of the case, no matter how brutal, you tried your hardest to give him your unwavering attention, but you could feel someone’s eyes on you. And out of the corner of your eye see him. Spencer.

His stare was hot and intense, and fuck was it making you become a flustered mess. You glanced at him from your peripheral trying your best to be subtle about it, it was getting harder and harder to focus on Hotch and the case, not Reid. But when his puppy dog eyes drifted up, down and all over your body, your body involuntarily reacted, slightly squirming in your seat. Before you could stop yourself, your eyes turn and lock onto his gorgeous brown ones, a smirk graces your lips as he finally notices your eyes now on him. Looking like a kid being caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he turns pink from the embarrassment and shame of being caught, and god did that make your head spin. Now it was his turn to awkwardly squirm in his seat while staring at Hotch with all his attention. You giggle under your breath at his fumbling awkwardness. Before you know it everyone around you starts to pack up their things and stand up, leaving you confused. Of course you spent the whole debriefing paying so little attention to the case and more on Spencer.

Sighing, you pull the hem of your dress down as you stand trying to save yourself from even more embarrassment. “soooo how did it go? Was he as yummy as you’d hoped?” Garcia wraps her arms around yours as you try not to stumble down the stairs towards your desk “you, my love are officially banned from meddling in my love life” you could already hear the trail of complaints bouncing around in her head as you plopped down onto your desk chair, reaching for the new case folder hoping to catch yourself up before take off in the morning “aww come on I for sure thought you’d be jumping his bones, all those rippling muscles, who In Their right mind could resist” the thought of the man you had seen a few hours prior put a foul taste in your mouth, causing your face to scrunch up in disgust “he was a complete dick, he legit referred to himself as an “alpha male” AN ALPHA ,Only thing I wanted to jump , was off a building at that point” a defeated look from her was all the conformation you needed, no longer were you going on blind dates, and your love life was back to being non existent and sad “sorry Pen I tried, I really really tried, you just have horrific taste in men like my god do we need to get you some help. These guys are basically human garbage” whilst looking up your eyes naturally drift and settle on Spencers desk frowning as you watch him, his heads buried in the case file whilst obsessively jotting down notes like some multitasking god, your heart couldn’t help but pine after his more, the looks you shared moments before didn’t help your case either. Resting your chin in the palm of your hand, you drag your eyes away trying to spare yourself from going into one of your Spencer Reid spirals. You look up at Penelope already disliking the pitiful look she was giving you “are you sure your ready to give up?, I mean I know this cute guy who would be super into you, he's just your type “the new voice startled you, turning in your seat you’re met with Emily smirking down at you whilst leaning against your desk inserting herself into the conversation with JJ beside her “wow ok fun, are we all just gonna just dive head first into my personal life?, don’t we have a case to work on?” trying to deter the subject of the conversation off of you was a bust, as the women you call friends gleam down at you with a shared look “yeah no this is too entertaining to sit out on.” you couldn’t believe you were having this conversation right now, letting out a groan you leaned back in your chair covering your face in hopes of hiding the redness in your cheeks “sweetheart, what you need is a good ol one night stand, get a certain pretty boy out of your system” if you weren’t already melting into a puddle of embarrassment, you definitely were now “Morgan shut up please for the love of everything holy”

you could only pray Spencer wasn’t paying attention to the little group that was forming at your desk, maybe he was being good and reading the case file like the rest of them should be doing but of course luck wasn’t in your favor tonight “what are we talking about?” Before you could shut the whole conversation down Morgan happily answered Spencer “oh, we were just discussing Y/L/N’s love life. I think she needs a good root, what do you think?” that stupid smirk Morgan was happily wearing was enough to make your blood boil, now you truly wished to disappear “ok ok that’s enough” you shoot up from your seat avoiding any eye contact with Spencer not wanting to see his reaction to your humiliating red face “conversation over, my love life is going back to being non existent, thank you for your concern but it’s over, officially dead so no more talking about it.” you snatch the file off your desk ready to get the hell out of whatever situation you found yourself in “i'm going home to at least get some sleep before we leave tomorrow or I’ll be a zombie all day” with that you hastily made your way out of the building and into the cool night air once again.

wrapping your arms around yourself in hopes to provide some warmth, you slowly make your way to the car park. Before you could make it to your car you could hear foot steps getting closer and closer until they were right behind you, stopping along with yours once you had reached front of your car. Quickly spinning around you slam them onto the car's hood, arm in your hand, face down and pinned.

“Ow ow ow ow Ow!” Shit. It was Spencer. The man you’ve been daydreaming about and here you were pinning him to the hood of your car. “oh shit sorry, my god, don’t walk up on me like that holy shit Spence you scared me” you pull away off him whilst letting go of his arm and backing away a little. Spencer lets out a hiss of pain as he pushes himself off the hood, rubbing his arm to try and relieve the pain “sorry I was just trying to make sure you got to your car safely. It’s late a-and” he looks at your dress whilst clearing his throat looking away awkwardly “are you ok? you seemed upset in there” he looks back at you whilst giving you a smile that made you wanna pass away on the spot “yeah I’m ok, just having your dating life put on full blast in front of the team like that can be a tad embarrassing” silence was the only response you were met with, you glance up at Spencer trying to think of something, anything to say in this moment “you look really nice by the way, it’s unfortunate your date turned out that way.” His eyes meet yours, your breath gets caught in your throat as heat creeps up your neck to your face “t-thanks” tugging on the hem of your dress you smile sheepishly “not the most comfortable outfit, honestly wish Pen let me wear my sweater but you know”

“Penelope” you both say, you giggle as Spencer chuckles. “Oh by the way, I thought you may want these, may help a little tomorrow” he hands you the notes he took from the briefing, Your fingertips brush against his, the feeling of warmth from his hands sends a shiver down your spine. “Thanks Spence. I appreciate it” you stand there longer than needed before you start to turn away from him. “You know, that even though there aren't any hard statistics, it’s roughly estimated that every 1 in 3 or 4 blind dates actually end up as a success” he rambles on, looking back at him you try to pay attention but you can’t stop your eyes from sifting down towards his lips “so there is a chance” his voice fades away as his words become background noise and your thoughts become louder and louder, all you could think about was him, the feeling of wanting only grew stronger with each passing minute. It didn’t help that his lips were tempting you, calling you in. you couldn’t hold yourself back much longer, will power growing weaker and weaker “fuck it” your body moves before commen sense had its time to put a stop to whatever ridiculous thoughts you had muster up, suddenly your lips press onto his without thinking it through. It was short and one sided yet sweet, the faint taste of coffee and sugar overwhelmed your senses

The sudden realization hits you hard as you push yourself off Reid, the feelings of regret and fear settles itself in your stomach making you feel sick “Sorry I wasn’t thinking, shit sorry, forget that happened ok” you back away keeping your eyes glued to the ground in fear that you’ll look up and only see rejection written on his face. What in the hell possessed you to do that?, why the fuck did you do that, the only reason you kept your feelings shoved down was to protect your friendship with Spencer, nothing meant more to you then the bond you both shared and now you’ve ruined it and for what? A stupid kiss? “wait, uh No no it was just unexpected I didn’t hate it actually quite the opposite” your head snaps back up at a red faced flustered Spencer Reid “don't apologize“ his warm hands warp around your cold ones as he steps closer to you once again “did you um maybe want to try that again? Only if you want to though I don’t want you to regret anything” you giggle as he starts to nervously stumble over his words, this time more confident in your actions your lips find his for the second time tonight.

The taste of coffee meets your lips again as your body relaxes into the kiss, which is very reciprocated this time. The warmth radiating from Spencer chases the cold night air away. As your bodies shuffle closer together. you both hesitantly pull away from each, you wanted to stay here in this moment for as long as possible but of course your bed was calling your name along with the early flight departure. “I should go” you really didn’t want to “I know“ his hands stayed on your waist for a moment before slipping away “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow” the sweet look on his face drove you crazy, the urge to say fuck it and stay with him for the remainder of the night was overpowered by the sleepless night before, you settle for placing a goodnight kiss on his cheek instead “night Spence” winking you open your car door and make your way in, you turn the car on and roll the window down to call out to him as he backs away with a smug smirk on his face “sweet dreams pretty boy” with that you drive away replaying the events of tonight in your mind, god you couldn’t wait to get the case over with so you could finally have a date that wasn’t going to end in ruins, especially with the man you’ve been crushing on since your first day, yeah no you weren’t going to get any sleep tonight now.

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

#doesnt bertie do something similar with his vocabulary lapses and the numerous instances of 'if x is the word i mean'#bertie is writing his stories after the fact just like jeeves - he could look it up. he doesnt. in jeeves in the offing bertie gets a word#wrong ergo dahlia doesnt understand what he means and bertie reacts as though it were self-evident that dahlia couldnt have understood him#even if he'd used the right word: 'you are probably not familiar with the word but its one i've heard jeeves use'#if we assume that that is how bertie looks at the world then he doesnt have to look it up - to bertie people like him (people who will read#his writings) dont know words like jeeves does and therefore it is unneccessary to be 100% sure which word he means - noone else would know#and while jeeves doesnt include literary allusions in his narration he very much establishes himself as an authority in that area#except he does it through bertie - he is writing a guide addressed to new valets and right at the beginning he quotes emerson at bertie#who is immediately portrayed as the guy who cant remember the name of the play he saw the evening before. jeeves is absolutely showing off!#there are three foreign words set in cursive in the first paragraph alone! but the difference is while he may be showing off he - just as#you said - has nothing to prove - he is already the authority and here hes just establishing another way in which a valet#has to keep the upper hand

@noandnooneelse's tags for further discussion about jeeves as a narrator but responding in the tags because that's the most superior method of communication

you guys ever notice how in his dialogue when he's in bertie's presence, jeeves uses quotations and references constantly, but in his THOUGHTS during "bertie changes his mind," he doesn't use any? this is obviously because he doesn't care if we the audience know he knows shakespeare, but he will languish and die if he doesn't get to dazzle bertie with his wit and knowledge every five seconds

[pennyblossom-meta]

Analysis of the romance in Death Note's Spiraling Trap game.

EDIT 02/03/2024: minor edits and fixes, added a few imgs and extra content.

A huge thank you to the folks over at agtteam who translated L - the ProLogue to Death Note: Spiraling Trap into English! Now we can all date L become FBI agents after hours.

I've been playing the game recently and one of the features I love the most is the L Communicator, which allows the main character (referred to as MC henceforth) to take a break from adventuring and listen to L talk about whatever is on his mind.

There's around one hundred different lines available as the MC develops a relationship with L and they paint him as such a sweet, attentive and thoroughly unique individual that I was surprised by how detailed it was. If you're thinking about playing, then this part is definitely worth putting effort into.

The mechanics of the dating sim are relatively simple: during the adventure, you'll pick up a number of recipes hidden among traps and tools. Then, Watari will provide the ingredients and you can give L whatever sweets he specifically craves. These recipes and cravings depend on the time of day and can be season specific.

Character analysis

As stated in-game, giving L sweets causes his appreciation for the MC to grow. However, L being L, means that he craves different sweets throughout the day. He's definitely very specific about what he likes and what he wants for his sugar fix.

However, if you give L something he isn't craving at that specific moment, he will sulk. The way he expresses his displeasure varies according to the depth of the budding relationship he has with the MC.

L: To tell you the truth, there are many other things I would have preferred. L: [F/N], I hate to say this, but I really would have preferred something else. L: F/N], you must know that I was hoping for something else, right? L: [F/N]… It’s not my favorite but, it made me really happy.

Note: Given that the books in the expanded universe (Another Note and L: Change the WorLd) came out before this game, I think some of the quotes further ahead might be a subtle nod to how L is perceived by the police forces as the "creepy murder detective". However, references about his piece of mind lead me to believe that L craves some respite from the burdens he carries on his shoulders — burdens so strong that they managed to curve his spine.

Note: I'm unsure how the system here works, as the MC also gets points for gaining L's trust in the actual adventure when they a) agree with his observations and b) find key objects hidden in unsuspecting places. It might affect the available lines through the L Communicator.

L: Today is going to be a better day… Let’s think positive. L: I wonder what kind of morning this will be. L: It seems the air outside is crisp this morning.

L: I want to finish what I need to get done before night falls. L: It’s nearly sunset. Time for children to go back home. L: If you just stare into space, night will be here before you know it.

L: It’s already evening… Time keeps passing me by. L: There’s something different about the air at night. L: Night-time, dusk… It’s the witching hour.

As a naturally introspective individual, L observes the world around him and draws conclusions. To my surprise, the game actually managed to capture how observant L is about small, unsuspecting details of daily life and give him a slightly poetic side laced with a hint of wistfulness that suits his character well.

This is a side of L in his private life that I personally wish we had been able to glimpse during the Kira investigation. Though, at the time, L was busy trying to prove that Light was, indeed, Kira. It left him little to no time to enjoy the world around him. During the brief time that L could have had a semblance of rest right before the Yotsuba arc, he was depressed that his deductions were "wrong" — though I could see him musing about some of the above, equal parts whimsy and sulking.

L: If I start to lose my touch… I guess I’ll retire. L: Another day, another mystery… L: I have a lot of thinking to do. L: I feel like doing some capoeira… L: I haven't played tennis for a while. L: The weather today is… Well, it matters not. L: I, um… No, ignore me. L: Am I reading too much into it…?

As a thinker, L has a lot of unfinished thoughts he says out loud. Some border on cliché, others are musings about things he'd like to do or that he's missing.

I wonder if some of his thoughts end up trailing off because, suddenly, he catches himself and believes they're not important? Or that he doesn't think the MC would be interested in what he has to say beyond work matters?

L: “In spring one sleeps a sleep that knows no dawn.” Though, too much sleep isn’t good for anyone. L: If you think about things persistently, noticing all the sides to them will come naturally. L: Strawberries… Despite the name, they aren’t actually berries. How berry disappointing. L: The one who has thought it through wins. It’s true for chess, and for deduction. But in the case of love… I don't know.

He's also a philosopher at heart, always thinking about the human condition. In these we can also witness his dry humour, silly puns along with a subtle desire to share his thoughts on the world and give helpful advice.

As for love, L is cautious but willing to learn. It's a topic where he's out of his depth.

L: Um, Watari is… L: I wonder if Watari’s asleep? L: What could Watari be up to? L: Today is Thanksgiving Day. I am truly grateful to Watari for his diligence.

I found it interesting how L's thoughts eventually go back to Watari and what he's doing. He's the one person that L relies on and whom he interacts with the most. Other people are passing acquaintances at best, who show little interest in L beyond work.

Notice how he mentions diligence? Although it is a utilitarian consideration, it also reveals a thankfulness for the comforts of familiarity and the peace of mind that trusting someone close brings. This is a topic we'll explore better at a later stage, i.e., how trust and acts of service work as a relationship builder.

Romance

Neutral stage

One of the first things I've noticed is that, during the early stages of the relationship, L is still very formal and quite a bit dismissive — even borderline rude. As his sugar fix gets sated by the MC's keen suggestions (Watari provides the ingredients, of course), L grows gradually more fond of them and wants to include the MC in his life with an enthusiasm I can only define as endearing.

L: Aren’t you bored? You don’t have to check in on me. L: Don’t you have stuff to do?

At the beginning, L is still wary of the MC on a personal level as they have absolutely no rapport beyond a partnership of circumstance and usefulness in the name of justice. He's quick to get bored and doesn't take it very well when he's given sweets he isn't craving. A bit childish, one could say, the way he sulks when the MC errs by not reading his mind.

L: Did I enjoy it? Let me just say “no comment”. (about sweets that weren't quite to his taste)

It's also very in-character for L to feel both annoyed at someone who is randomly calling him and be suspicious of their motives.

Growing interest

L: Spending the afternoon with you isn’t so bad. L: Even though it’s late, you’re not going to bed, huh? L: You must be a night owl, [F/N]. L: I’m a little curious about you, [F/N]. L: Are you having a good time? I’m just curious. L: You’re kind of… Ah, no, forget I said anything.

He starts addressing the MC by their first name as he becomes more enamoured. It's very sweet. I was pleasantly surprised at how attentive L becomes as he gradually comes to the conclusion that this is a person who understands him.

Mind, due to game mechanics the MC gains approval by giving L sweets, but from a narrative perspective what's really happening is that L not only feels seen and understood, but also accepted. And when that happens, he starts lowering his walls and relaxing.

As a plot device, I would say these are defining moments within L's thought process here; he's curious about the MC, finds them interesting enough to want to know more them and pursues that curiosity to see what they might have in common. It seems he's both a little baffled and content about this development.

L: [F/N], what do you think of when you see a sunset? L: What are you doing this afternoon? Oh, should I not have asked? L: Are you a night owl? Oh, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want.

It should also be noted that L is very mindful of boundaries. There's a tentative, almost shy attempt to connect. He's determined to indulge in his curiosity since the MC's attentiveness towards him shows an opening for closeness he's unused to (but is happy about) and to tend to his more immediate needs (i.e., food cravings), which in turn shows a genuine concern for him. Aside from Watari, I doubt anyone ever extended L similar kindness.

And it is in this determination to get to know the MC that I also find Mello's words (AA: LABB Murder Cases) that L is actually a very active, aggressive individual with absolutely no interest in social conventions perfectly represent him this game, as he navigates a growing fondness with expectation, curiosity and caution — on his own terms, while minding that he doesn't overstep.

L: Staying up late talking to you… It makes me feel calm.

I find it particularly heartbreaking how this confession of L unknowingly makes it more transparent how burdened he is. The spine curved by burdens unseen, the addiction to mind games and sweets; all of these point to stress factors which isolate him further, increasing the loneliness and lack of affection in his life.

That L feels the need to mention the MC makes him feel calm seems telling.

L: We’re both late workers, huh? That makes me happy. L: [F/N]… You’re pretty formidable. L: It’s reassuring to have a partner like you. You’re someone I can trust. L: Your feelings have been received. (Valentine's Day) L: The fact we’ve become so close was an unexpected development on my part.

And here it is, the acknowledgement just as L enters the highest stages of approval, where he expresses admiration and happiness at the close bond he developed with the MC.

"An unexpected development on my part" is quite the turn of phrase. One can only wonder, but I'd make an educated guess that L didn't see this coming because:

a) no one showed feelings towards him before. In his line of work, hidden behind a screen there is no time to indulge or get attached to anyone (he would mistrust their intentions anyway) and so L keeps everyone at arms length, sharing little more than a professional side of himself and fostering utilitarian relationships that help him win "games". L ultimately carries various burdens the average civilian would never be able to understand, all due to the pressure of his job. When failing at the "game of cat and mouse" means being responsible for the likely deaths of dozens, perhaps even hundreds or thousands, the stakes are up in unimaginable ways. What started as a thrill chase can have catastrophic consequences should L fail. That in itself alienates him from society at large. It's a game that L plays well and absolutely profits from, but it is also an indicative of two major flaws: his addictive personality and how he suppresses his emotions to carry on. Coincidentally, it's the expanded universe, in particular Another Note: LA BB Murder Case and L: Change the WorLd, that give us the best insight into this. This isn't too dissimilar to the struggles policemen face in high risk jobs or technicians who have to flag and delete sensitive content from online platforms. These people end up changed from what they see — and some carry traumas for the rest of their lives. That's not to say that L doesn't feel for others. He respects people whom he considers good or morally upstanding (Soichiro Yagami), who are competent in their line of work (Naomi Misora, Mogi), worthy of a second chance (Aiber and Wedy), who speak their minds, unafraid (Aizawa) or who are reliable, loyal to him as a person and not just his cause, in whom he can place his trust and feel secure won't betray him (Watari). The MC seems to fall mostly in the last category, though the relationship is rather precocious — and there seems to be a fair amount of wishful thinking and even projecting on L's part, since communication happens over a device connecting two people remotely. He falls both for the idea of the individual and their attentiveness towards him. When L mentions that they make him feel calm, I'd argue it comes both as a surprise to him and a confession of a closeness and safety he intimately craved — though I personally view L as someone who feels lonely and wanting healthy human contact, even if his social skills might not be the best (worsened by his distrust of people as a whole). Someone who ultimately is willing to adapt to him but whom he can adapt to, as well. Someone who sees him as a person and not an unfeeling robot. It's a POV that certainly challenges certain aspects of DN: Vol 13. I would further argue that L's portrayal has evolved significantly beyond the manga, and that his subsequent humanising is partially a result of the creative liberties the English translations took, as well as a more empathetic view of the character and hidden struggles. Each medium displays a separate iteration of L, with common variables.

b) L fosters distant relationships with others as a safety measure. Aside from Watari, L's contact with other people had always been distant, work-focused, perhaps even tainted by notions of his supposed creepiness as a kinky detective "who relished bizarre murders" (L:CtW). He's useful to the police because he achieves favourable results, though L is still viewed as "a human computer, capable only of measuring mass murders in terms of cold numbers, a reclusive sociopath" (L:CtW). He isn't necessarily liked; in fact, I would argue he rubs people the wrong way most of the time — as we can see during his interactions with the Task Force, during the events of Death Note. L is tolerated, a useful asset who is both mysterious and a pain to deal with. However, he's also put on a pedestal due to his status (i.e., Relight, the children at Wammy's). For the latter, he purposely shatters their idea of L as this unbeatable, paragon of justice by defining himself as a monster (anime), a dishonest cheating human being who hates losing (manga). I do share in lux-mea-lex's perspective on L doubting his own humanity and how it fuels a certain self-hatred for distrusting everyone around him. As lux mentions, "love comes with trust" and L is an excellent detective precisely because he questions everything and everyone — but it comes at a cost: his own loneliness. To draw a parallel, L's ultimate flaw — and that which makes him great at his job — is not unlike what we see during the moments of extreme anguish that Veronica Mars goes through in her personal relationships and which draw people away from her when she oversteps boundaries to prove she's not being lied to. That mistrust comes from experience, for people burdened with having seen too much and it's not unlike a kind of paranoia acquired when one has to deal with the worst of humanity on a daily basis.

Full reciprocity

L: [F/N] you’re the light that illuminates the dark night. That’s an exaggeration of course, but… L: What I need to live is glucose… and to talk to you. Nourishment for my brain and heart. L: When we’re together, I feel like there’s no problem we can’t solve. L: The afternoons I get to spend with you are precious to me.

When the MC achieves the stage of full reciprocity with L, he's very open to showing vulnerability and lowering his emotional defenses. I found this to be particularly sweet, as L is such a secretive man with so many hidden layers that him being willing to show such honesty with that one person he holds dear is incredible character development.

Beyond the game, I would say that achieving this stage with L would be much more difficult and, naturally, would involve going beyond picking the best sweets for him.

Something important to keep in mind is that L seems to value acts of service, as the people who interact with him more closely have some utility value and aid his work. However, L's life revolves around his work; he lives and breathes his detective work, which is why having a partner who brings him peace would be so important.

L: The time I spend with you is as important to me as the sweets. L: Good morning. It makes me really happy to see you here. L: For your sake… I’d think of a way to get through anything. We share a bond. L: When you have time, I’d like to take you to a shop that makes the best sweets. L: When you’re free, how about we play tennis together? I will have Watari reserve a court. L: If something were to happen to me… I want you, as the person I hold dearest, to carry on the L moniker. L: When my thoughts hit a dead end late at night, I feel like I’m stuck in a maze. But, having you here makes me feel reassured.

I also found it very sweet how L takes the initiative to plan for activities to do together with the MC. And how their presence, their reassuring words make him feel at ease. It seems that a loving relationship would give L a goal in life beyond his work.

Carrying on the L moniker... this quote might be the result of L's trust in the MC growing during the events of the game, or a sentiment L nurtures due to the MC being attentive enough to understand his specific cravings. But being able to read L and having the mental dexterity to become him are different things, as the latter involves a lifestyle that few would want and a complete focus on work. Even FBI agents have lives beyond work.

L: I learned from you that sweets are the bond that brings people together. L: You give me true peace of mind. No one could ever replace you. L: The way I am now, I… I can’t think straight when you’re not around. L: Being able to share this sunset with you, I couldn’t ask for anything more. L: You understand, don’t you [F/N]? What my heart so strongly desires is something more… L: When I talk to you, I feel like my senses are sharpened. Thanks to that, my radar has become more sensitive.

What a sweet guy. I love how L focuses on the little things and just wants to spend time together with the person he holds dearest. It's almost as if he daydreams a close, loving relationship — a trait that clashes with L's logical side.

This game and the expanded universe of Death Note have convinced me that there are many more layers to L than what we can see in the main story.

As Fu Takahashi, who plays L in the 2020 Japanese version of the musical, said:

“(...) A common thing about L among these versions is that, despite his superficial image as a smart guy who hates losing, he actually feels lonely and needs affection, I imagine. Perhaps he is an orphan – his character suggests so. He tries to control his emotions, like the feelings towards his parents, or romantic feelings; that’s why he is sort of dependent on games or battles of the mind. So I want to play L while thinking about the foundations on which his personality has been formed.”

I think this quote and the game are actually very telling of L's core personality and how it moves beyond that cold, calculating persona that defines him in the manga. It's also more in line with the characterisation that we see in the anime and the books, which help humanise L.

As I mentioned elsewhere, learning how to trust and be comfortable around someone else would do L wonders. Though that person would have to accept him for who he is and help him learn how to navigate a healthy relationship.

Perhaps the true test of love, for L, would even be for him to be confronted with someone who knows who he really is and, is not only kind to him, but also sees the best in him — regardless of his flaws. I think that we've had a glimpse of it in this game and it's a breath of fresh air.

[igotanidea]

Loose control: Jason Todd x reader

NSFW! MDNI!

warnings: smut, oral, mention of hormonal contraception and swearing.

***

She was confused.

In her best knowledge, she believed that if anything, going on a pill would make her moody, whiny and oversensitive, therefore not fond of sex.

Instead she found herself hot and bothered and needy at every fucking second of every fucking day!                                                                                                                                                         

Her thoughts were filled with dirty, steamy scenarios, definitely not involving any clothes at all.

Certain smells were reminding her of the moments they used to share together, tangled in the sheets in each other’s arms.

Hell! Even sounds were making her so fucking horny!

“Hey babe, you good? You look a little-“

Before Jason could form his concerns into words, her lips were on his and her hands in his hair. She was not good. And she definitely looked a little whatever, but at that moment it was not important at all. What mattered though, was getting his hands on her body as soon as possible, under the threat of her combusting from desire. God, she needed him now and long and hard. The way her hormones were messed up due to contraception could really put Ivy’s sex pollen to shame, but at this point Y/N was way past pretending and holding back.

Meanwhile, Jason, instead of putting his hands on her, according to her silent wishes, raised them both in the air in pure shock. What happened to his girl? To the one who never ventured further than missionary? To the one who refused to let him eat her out for the longest time due to (quote) thick thighs and belief she did not deserve it? To the one who was always so shy and timid? And now she was all over him?

Not that he complained, but before he got as much as a glimpse of a chance to wrap arms around her waist and pull her on top of him, she withdrew.

“I’m sorry-“

“Come back here-“ he muttered this time doing all the things his body was commanding him to. He was never the one to refuse his girl, especially not when she was initiating one, for once. It was fucking hot to see her like this.

Their tongues entwined in an intricate ballet, dancing on the thin edge between soft passion and roughness, testing the barriers, almost teasing the other to step over the bridge. He lead and she followed. That was how it always was. But this time was about to be different.

She needed control. She wanted control.

Or even more – she demanded it.

And from the moment he spread her legs so she could straddle him, things were about to deviate from established order.

“Y/N…” Jason whispered in her ear, kissing her neck in so familiar way, his hands moving up her body, over her thighs, lifting the hem of her dress in the process, tracing over her hips and resting there, starting to guide her movements, even if they were both still in clothes and –

“No.” she suddenly said, grabbing his hands and patting them away.

“No?” Jason repeated, his voice and face full of mixed feelings including confusion, amusement and leniency. “No?”

The hell?

Y/N was refusing him the pleasure she knew he could bring her.

But a second ago she was ready to take what she wanted from him, not caring whether he liked it or not.

The fuck was going on?!

“Not like that.” She elaborated, easing the anger stemming from within him “Not like always…”

“Oh, so my feisty vixen wants something new?”

“Something like that” she smirked

“Let me see…” he switched position a little, making sure that his already erect cock brushed over her core. “There are so many positions I want to try with you. You were so shy during all this year, we have a lot to experience together…” while he was whispering those sweet promises against her body, his tongue dared to taste her skin.

“Mmm. No…” she muttered again, though it was a little harder this time. Reaching to the deepest layers of her strength she managed to push him onto his back, so she was towering over him.

“Oh, I see…” he smirked, crossing arms over his head. “If that's the way you want to play, be my guest tonight baby. I’m more than curious to see what- oh! Fuck!”

His mocking tone was cut off abruptly when she grind against him. Just once. Through the clothes. But for some reason, unbeknown to either of them, there was something so deeply sensual about Y/N taking control it only fueled the intensity.

And seeing the way his face was already twisting with need for more?

Let’s just say that good girl Y/N was gone instantly.

“Come on baby, don’t stop now. Loose control for me…” he muttered, grabbing onto her hips, ready to tear off that stupid dress from her body. Anything to get that warm, wet folds clenching over his shaft.

“Stay down, boy.” She patted his hands away and onto the bed. “No touching until I say so, you hear me?”

 “Fuck…” the fire in her eyes melt all the objections and refusals he might have.

“Be a good boy for me or I’ll have to bind you…”

As much as he wouldn’t mind going a little rough, binding was something he wouldn’t handle well, dur to his past experiences, so the only thing left to do was nod his head. Yes, he’ll be a good boy if that meant continuance of watching her transform into some sort of sex goddess above him.

Even if keeping his hands to himself might also result in torn-up sheets.

Y/N only smiled wilder and placed both hands on his chest, running them all over, relishing in the sense and scope of control over both his and her pleasure she was having now. Purposefully, tracing his muscles over the material of his shirt, touching all the places she knew was making him harder and more needy.

Under any other circumstances, he would hate being toyed with like that and his head would fill in with the memories where he was forced to stay sill while someone else’s hands were torturing him. But this was Y/N. His Y/N. His woman, who was only the bringer of pleasure, in one form or another. And now it took the form of her pampering him and being reduced to clay she was forming to her liking. 

When she was done with testing his self-control, almost making him wet his pants she focused on putting her hands to some other use.

Still straddling him, she traced over her thighs, slowly, sensually, then her hips, lifting them off his bulge, swaying a little, causing him to burn and grit his teeth. The hem of her dress was going higher in time with her deft fingers, slowly moving to her waist. That tantalizing waist that was meant to be gripped by him, but instead was caressed by her soft touches while Jason could only watch and fantasize.  At this point he could see the edge of her tiny panties, so infuriatingly close and already moist from her own arousal.

And then came her breasts, palms moving over to those perfectly round soft molds, touching, squeezing and forcing sweet sounds from the back of her throat.

Fuck.

She was moaning and throwing her head back, imagining him touching her like this.

He was groaning, digging nails into the mattress, envisioning quite the same thing.

“Take that dress off…” he couldn’t stop himself from the silent plea, throwing himself to the knees of this powerful celestial being that his woman became.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she teased, slowly lifting the material higher and higher until after what seemed like forever, it was gone from her body and carelessly tossed aside, messing her hair while being taken over her head.

“Y/N…” he gasped

“Hush. Hush baby…”  she reached behind her to remove her bra, sliding straps of it down her arms first, exposing her shoulders, before undoing the clasp and shaking it off completely. Biting her bottom lip, messing her hair up with one hand, while using the other to play with her breasts, she was giving him an erotic show he would never expect from her. What happened to this shy girl, insecure in bed? Now she was grinding on him, making him use all his strength to not cum in his pants, while she was a sex goddess above him.

“Fuck!” despite all the promises at this moment there were zero chances for him to stay still. His arms shoot up, cupping those soft globes, thumbs finding ways to nipples, circling around them like a lion hunting the gazelle. Her skin was burning, instantly covered with goosebumps under his touch, immediately craving for more.

It would be so easy to just give in, let him continue, melt into his touch, surrender. And it was his sole intention. To make her putty. Remind her of what he could do for her. How explosive it was when he was guiding.

“I said no touching…” she managed to squeeze out.

“I don’t care. I want to touch you and I will –“

She cuts him off again, stopping her erotic act and crawling to his lips, brushing her naked upper body against his like a wild feline, kissing him hungrily.

He was defenseless. Boneless. She got so deep under his skin that all that was left was the empty shell of a man, allowing his owner to use him in any way she found pleasing.

One more try at squeezing her butt and tearing off her panties ended with a bite mark on his neck and complete surrender.

“Y/N!” he groaned when she kneeled above him, slowly sliding that little fabric of her most intimate part, hovering above him.

“Make a wish baby and I might grant it...” she whispered leaning to his ear, kissing that sensitive spot behind it.

She was driving him to ecstasy faster than F1 bolide, making him barely able to corner.

“What do you want Jason….?”

“Fuck!” he squirmed under her, the view of her naked folds just inches above his jeans causing his head to spin.

“can you maybe make one sentence for me?” she mocked lowering herself on his bulge and rocking on it. Once. Just fucking once.

At his point all he could imagine was her wet, soft, warm inside squeezing his cock, milking him dry, taking him hard and rough. His face was flushed, lips parted.

“Like that?” Y/N teased again, repeating her actions, making it almost painful, judging by low grunts and groans. “don’t worry, baby… I;m not a monster you know…”

Finally she started to remove the belt from his pants.

Undoing the button.

Opening the fly.

Sliding the material down his legs (with a little bit of his help in the form of kicking those fucking obstacles)His boxers did nothing to cover the rock hard length.

And she was the one who did this to him.

“All for me?” she whispered with a glint in her eyes, caressing the piece of skin just above his boxers line.

“Only for you…”

“Very good…”

Once his underwear was down, no holds were barred.

However –

He did not expect what she was going to do next.

Instead of going for a cowgirl she bent her head down, sending him a teasing smirk and planting little kisses on his abs.

“Y/N…” he groaned, fighting between stopping and not stopping her. “You don’t have to-“ every other word was harder to formulate, replaced by deeper and louder grunts in time with the descent of her lips. “I don’t want to force you and – Fuck!”

She was as far from being forced as possible.

Taking the tip into her warm mouth. Just the tip, but the sensations were already so intense his mind was spinning.

“Y/N!” they were definitely going to have to buy a new set of linen.

Her tongue swirled around his tip in an almost practiced way and despite everything he started wondering where the hell did she learnt that?! Not with him and from what he knew, not with any other guy.

She was a natural.

Or a witch, that casted a spell on him, reducing this huge muscled man to the whimpering little boy, craving more.

And just when he thought it couldn’t get better she took more of his length inside. Not all of it, but with the way her tongue and hand cooperated in pleasuring him, he didn’t even notice anything else.

“Y/N!”

She bobbed her head up and down a little faster.

“Y/N!”

This was getting too good.

His hand tangled in her hair guiding her movements, the other squeezing her shoulder almost painfully, the force he used about to leave the skin bruising in purple.

“Y/N!”

The way he was calling her name was causing her own body to shiver and writhe on the bed, bringing him even closer to ecstasy.

“Fuck!”

She scratched his thigh hoping to finally make him finish.

“NO!” he grabbed her head harshly, pulling her away from his cock and upwards, capturing her lips in a bruising, predatory kiss, dominating her again. For a few seconds they fought for control, but finally she relented, ending up with her back pressed to the bed and his entire body weight on her and wrist pinned above her head.

So full of him.

Once again being the receiving and not giving part.

And enjoying it thoroughly.

As for Jason, he was more than happy to be on the passive, pleasured side of their tryst, but he valued her too much to just cum in her mouth. Besides, that would be such a waste of a perfectly good load, even if she was not going to get pregnant due to pills.

“Jason!”

Ironic how the tables turned.

“Jay!” she gasped, locking the ankles on his body, holding him in an iron grip to the point when he was barely pulling in and out, creating the friction that made her pussy burn and redden.

They were both going to sport such beautiful marks the next morning.

“Fuck Y/N, let go cause I can’t hold back much longer.”

“Then let go” she challenged him with a moan.

“No. You first.” He intensified his movements, adding the thumb on her clit that he knew would drive her crazy.

“It’s always the same… Stop being a gentleman…”

“I’ll fuck the words out of you…”

He was not going to stop being a gentleman in bed.

Rough? Yes, the thrust and snaps of his movements being the best example.

Dirty talk? Oh, absolutely with the way it made her shiver.

But being a dick? Never.

She thought she was ready for oral, but he knew better. All the little telltale signs were more visible to him than to her.

So for now, they were going to stick to classic after all.

Her pussy clenching on him, her moans filling the room and finally – her juices coating him and her body cradles in his arms.

Both full of pleasure and both reaching their peak.

***

“Why didn’t you let me switch roles?” she asked some time later, after getting cleaned up and they focused on cuddling, tangled together under the blanket.

“Was it what you really wanted?” he responded with another question

“Was I bad?”

“Is that what you think?”

“Can I please get one clear answer from you?” she chuckled patting his chest playfully

“Only if you give me one in advance.” Jason grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand to his lips and kissing softly. “Did you really want it? Or was it some sort of liberated woman thing?”

“Now that’s mean…”

“Y/N, baby, please just tell me.” He lifted her chin so her eyes met his.

“Those hormones are making me crazy… I’m sorry I’ve put you through trauma. I really don’t know what’s happening to me….” Self-doubts were back, triumphantly announcing his return, taking the form of Y/N withdrawing back to her cave. “I did want it… At the beginning. But somewhere in the middle I sort of got second thoughts, though didn’t want to disappoint you and –“

“Shh. Stop it. You never disappointed me. You could never do that. But yeah, I saw the slight hesitation in you.”

“Your perceptiveness is truly admirable” she mocked, rolling her eyes.

“It saved your ­self-appointed honor tonight, didn’t it?” Jason smirked

“You really do want me to admit you are a hero In this scenario, don’t you?”

“Damn right I do.”

“thank you” she sighed “and I mean it. I don’t think I was fully ready.”

“See that’s why you have me to save you from yourself lately.” He pulled her closer, signaling that this sentence was not meant to be teasing or mean, but loving and caring.

“guess that’s the role a partner takes on sometimes, right?” Y/N nuzzled into him, understanding and appreciating his behavior.

“I guess so.” The deal was sealed with a tiny kiss on the top of her head ‘but I have to ask – where did you learn how to-?”

“Not answering that question.”

“Y/N!”

“You drop the subject or you’ll never get to experience my fast learning skills on you ever again.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Damn right it is!”

“Just swear to me you would never –“ he looked at her with a little bit of uncertainty in both eyes and voice.

“never. I’m here. And moreover, I am here to stay.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re the only living organism I want to experiment on.” She chuckled, using the standard technique of covering the sudden wave of sweetening with a bit of sarcasm.

 “Then consider me your personal lab rat. Volunteering as a tribute, to quote the classic meme.”

She laughed at his words.

It was good to have someone like him in her life.

And he was thinking exactly the same about her.

[scientia-rex]

The thing that bothers me so much about my sister in law who is trying to “live conscientiously” (quote from today’s Christmas retrospective Facebook post) is that she wants to apply her morals to me.

It doesn’t work that way. I live in accordance with my beliefs to the best of my ability. I am not somehow UNDERTHINKING morality. I think about it all the damn time. It’s a huge part of why I went into medicine in the first place, why I keep working at the jail even though it’s inevitably a disaster nightmare of mis-management and I don’t need the money and my life would be easier if I only worked my one full-time job. I am doing things, every workday, that make a tangible difference in the quality of life for people who need it. That’s where my morality is at.

But if you interpret your life through the lens of consumerism, of COURSE how and what you buy is the deciding factor in whether you’re a good person.

The idea that earth tones and listening to NPR and teaching your kid an impractical foreign language are ENOUGH, that you can give your life meaning through rejecting the same obvious signifiers of wealth the nouveau riche favor but still wearing the very best of your ethically-sourced wool, is just… no. You need to DO things for other people. You can give money. People don’t like to do that, because it feels like a cop-out, and it is. But it’s a far better cop-out than lecturing me on free range chicken (for just one of many, many examples). Or lecturing me on how to talk about gay people, when she isn’t one and I am.

I’m a brightly-colored, obvious weirdo who loves nice things. I’m a magpie. I want a collection of pretty shinies. THAT is not what’s wrong with this world. What’s wrong with this world is a deeper, more hideous rot that you can’t root out by not wearing big dangly earrings and neon colors.

[randomshyperson]

One For The Road - Heart Shaped Series

Chapter Summary: Wanda's first mission as an Avenger was also marked by the first time she met you.

Warnings: typical canon violence, fluff and Avengers working together but nothing major | Words: 2.501k

A/N-> This is an extra chapter (can be read separately and doesn't impact the current plot of the fic). It's just about delving a little deeper into what happened before the main story and I plan three of them in total (the other two will be their first kiss and their first time). Good reading!

General Masterlist | Wattpad | AO3 | Series Masterlist

-&-

Before.

They were there to observe. After all, what criminal in their right mind would let the Avengers attend an event where half the guests were wanted by Shield?

But even on the outside, and accompanied by Barton, Steve and Natasha who were basically the most protective members over her, Wanda was nervous.

It was her first official Avengers mission. Not only that, but she had what they called a perfect disguise consisting of an old American football team cap and sunglasses, and Wanda was having a hard time thinking that it would work. Maybe so, because she had only appeared a few times on television, and wasn't exactly the most popular Avenger among them. 

But there was also Captain America in all of his glory of an enchanted big body wearing the same outfit. So ignoring Steve's warning about keeping it on the down low, she was forced to use her skills when she noticed that the waitresses were whispering about him - One peek and Wanda could read their suspicion. The blonde among them was sure of who he was, but a little influence from the witch and that certainty vanished. She could go back to serving coffee without further doubts.

Steve could thank her later for that.

Wanda's first mission was simple. To observe, to provide support. It was more about seeing Steve in action than anything else. Learning how the more experienced ones acted or something. She knew that Clint was somewhere high up, perhaps in one of the buildings away from the main square. 

In any case, they were all surrounding the large Italian-style mansion on the edge of the island. And Tony in his iron armor was taking care of the offshore area, in case the targets escaped by water.

Everything was going well, and almost tedious to be honest, for hours on end. The gala party was happening loud and clear into the night, but Wanda and the others had the excuse of dinner time to stay at the tables in the cheap corner restaurant. 

"We have our first celebrity guest, Captain." Clint's warning over the communicator almost took her by surprise - but Wanda was paying attention to the mansion's large iron door, where she could see the movement in and out of the party. The equally bored security guards finally got something to do - Opening the door to the visually drunk man heading towards the limo waiting for him.

Steve left some cash on the table, standing up before the drunk man had even finished insulting the staff for taking so long to open the door for him. She knew the captain was heading towards the parked motorcycle to follow the car since that was the plan. But she noticed - felt - something different.

The target was an Italian mobster who had attracted Shield's attention by being quoted in a human experimentation scheme. All those involved in the Hydra project, which created people like her and Pietro, were being hunted down one by one. It was an Avengers-level operation because little was known about how far Hydra had managed to go. How many superhumans they manage to create? It wouldn't be smart to send ordinary agents who would probably be up against people as powerful as Wanda.

And well, there was another detail about the target; he had two daughters. According to the files, the girls didn't take part in their father's work. They just enjoyed the money from a crime like two foolish socialites.

Although the two figures were identical to the photographs in the files, something in Wanda clicked when she looked at what was supposed to be the mobster's youngest daughter.

"Steve, there's something wrong." She gasped into the communicator. The waiter looked surprised - he thought she was talking to him.

"Mi dispiace, signorina, cosa ha detto? (Excuse me, what did you say, miss?)" But Wanda muttered excuse me in a very bad accent and got up. At her warning, Steve hesitated and instead of going to the motorcycle, he stopped at the bar. 

The mobster didn't leave the scene either, confirming Wanda's suspicions that things were very wrong. 

From inside the mansion, two security guards ran out - they shouted that something had been stolen from the sale. And the gate was closed again.

The man, drunk and confused, was searched. The presence of a pearl necklace hidden in his jacket was enough for him to be dragged back by the thugs, who ignored the foaming protests of him and his eldest daughter, who ran inside after her father.

"What's the saying again, thief who steals thief...?" Clint joked over the communicator, clearly from wherever he was, he had witnessed the whole scene.

Although he laughed, Steve began to move forward. "Change of plans, guys. Let's break up the party." He announced, and it was no surprise that the positions of the remaining team members quickly began to reveal themselves.

Everyone left their hiding place to invade the party - Tony's armor was the first to act to hack open the iron gates. Most of the security corps surrendered on seeing the Avengers there, but there was still conflict. Steve just wanted to act quickly before the mobster they had come to capture was executed for stealing a pearl necklace.

And Wanda, well, she followed her instincts.

The mobster's daughter fled the scene - She was supposed to go after her father, but she snuck into the parking lot. Wanda had to run a little to avoid losing sight of her.

The confusion of the party invaded by the Avengers was loud enough to drown out her footsteps, and Wanda managed to hide behind some pillars when the figure reached a parked car. She thought she was about to discover that the mobster's daughter was actually more aware of her father's business than she let on when something much more shocking happened.

Before her eyes, Wanda watched the figure change completely. From the original appearance, only the coat and expensive dress remained.

A shapeshifter? What an incredible thing to witness, Wanda thought. She had only heard stories about Loki and had never seen anything other than Natasha's tools of disguise. This here was truly remarkable.

You hummed low, pulling out a closed suitcase from your coat. The Italian mafia symbol made Wanda understand the whole thing quickly - The necklace was just a distraction. The real theft was what you were carrying.

The coat was discarded on the pavement in the parking lot, but before you could stow it in the trunk, you froze. Wanda had half a second to hide behind the pillar, holding her breath and hoping you hadn't seen her.

Well, worst case scenario, she'd use magic on you.

She risked a peek, but you were no longer near the car. Gone, like the suitcase.

Wanda sighed in defeat, feeling pathetic. Her first mission would be marked with the escape of an enemy. How embarrassing.

But then she was suddenly grabbed and restrained. Wanda gasped in shock, imagining that it was one of the building's security guards. Her magic acted faster than the panic in her system - it went through her body and hit the attacker in the chest, who was thrown to the ground.

"Wow, how did you do that?" The voice that came out was definitely not that of a brute like the party security guards. Wanda turned around panting, ready for another attack, but you were sitting on the floor, back to your original appearance, looking at her as if you had just seen the most incredible creature in the world.

Wanda opened her mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. She was sure she had been grabbed by a security guard, but then she understood: You had changed to look like one. But her magic forced you to return to your real appearance, and Wanda had to convince herself that the way her heart raced and her stomach did two flips was because of the fright, and nothing more.

Her lack of reaction didn't intimidate you. You tilted your head gently. "You're the new one."

You started to get up, Wanda swallowed dryly, taking another step away.  Her hands glowed as red as her eyes. "Stay back."

But you looked at her carefully, as if you were studying her. And you didn't seem afraid of your powers, even though a minute ago you'd been thrown to the ground for it.

"Oh, I remember you from television." You suddenly declare, a glint of recognition in your eyes. "The girl from the country who fell from the sky."

Wanda tried to steady her trembling hands. "I'll take you into custody. I know you stole something."

But you didn't pay any attention to the statement - You advanced against her and she backed away instinctively until Wanda was pressed to the pillar again. One hand against your stomach and the other on your shoulder, keeping you at a safe distance.

She could have just hit you with the magic, but she didn't. Just like you, she didn't attack.

"What... are you doing?" She gasped in a mixture of curiosity and fear, both hands controlling your distance were expelling her power. One of your hands moved up and grabbed her face gently - Wanda had to bite the inside of her cheek at the way her skin burned at your touch. Was it attraction she was feeling? No, it couldn't be. You were a complete stranger. She had to convince herself that this was fear.

You turned her face to one side and then the other, your eyes so focused that you seemed to be trying to memorize every aspect of her appearance.

"I've never met another one of us before." You say, and Wanda frowns in confusion. Your hand remains on her chin, and she swallows dryly before taking a chance:

"Us? Like... another Baron Strucker experiment?" She deduces, and you nod softly before letting go of her face.

You move your hand down and hold the one she has against your stomach. "It's so warm. What is it?" You ask tenderly about her magic. 

Wanda can feel her cheeks burning but she managed to stammer: "Hm... it’s a form of energy, I think." Jesus, Wanda pull yourself together. Well, who could really blame her for feeling out of place about the whole thing? She was literally on her first mission, being pinned against a pillar in the parking lot of a mafia party by some random thief, blushing under the worshipful gaze of that same shape-shifter while her team blew stuff up in the background. It was too much for anyone. 

She tries to gain a little control when she evades your touch, slipping to the side and putting distance between your bodies again. She also ignores how her hand is tingling, as if she was missing your touch from seconds ago.

"How did the Baron manage to give you energy?" You asked curiously but frowned in a worried way.

Wanda sighed. She really was having a conversation with a jewelry thief.

"It was a stone... um, a special kind. It may sound ridiculous, but it was a magic one. It came from outer space, the Avengers actually have a lot of work protecting them. And well, it now sits on the head of one of us and-"

But you suddenly moved - You lifted the hem of your dress just above your thigh, and pulled out a small, hidden pistol. Wanda's heart leaped to her throat. She barely had time to think about reacting, and you had already pulled the trigger.

There was still an arc of magic protecting her when she risked opening her eyes again. You were both out of breath, staring at each other before you lowered the gun.

The shot wasn't aimed at her, as Wanda realized the next second. But behind her, to one of the party guests who was trying to escape the Avengers by running into the parking lot. And well, catching one of them, off guard was quite an opportunity. The man now was writhing in pain on the ground, bleeding from the shot to the neck that you had hit him with. His own gun, loaded to shoot Wanda, rolled off his hand to the grass next to his body. 

Wanda should move. Criminal or not, trying to murder her or not, he needed help.

You raised an eyebrow at the magical protection disappearing around her. "You’re full of tricks aren’t, you?” You teased while hiding your gun again, now on your belt. “This was fun, Wanda Maximoff. Unfortunately, I must leave."

She shallows, knowing she really should move her feet. "You can't go... I have- I should arrest you."

You glance towards the man on the ground, practically unconscious now before looking at the girl again. "But he needs your help, and what kind of superhero doesn't help a bleeding victim?"

Her body reacts to your sarcastic words; she rushes to reach the assaulter and stop the bleeding. You don’t miss the opportunity to walk away to your motorcycle.

Wanda is too busy with the guest to notice you are escaping - Her magic do the hard part to patch up the bleeding and she’s stuck there with this man, at least for the necessary time for you to escape.

Wanda bites her tongue when she sees your motorcycle flee out the back exit, hoping none of her colleagues saw her letting you escape.

It doesn't even take five minutes for Natasha to find her, worried about where she was hiding during the shooting.

“What the hell happened here?” Asked the widow but as soon as she saw the gun on the floor, she assumed that Wanda was defending herself. She sighs before the witch can come up with an explanation. “Fuck, I’m just glad you’re okay, Maximoff. Pretty hardcore for your first mission, huh?” Nat jokes, and somehow, she manages a little chuckle from Wanda. The redhead gives her shoulder a soft tug. "Come on, witchy, i’ll take care of this one. Go find the others."

Natasha offered her a hand to help her up, but Wanda didn't want to take it. Her own were stained with blood.

"I think I'll go back to the quinjet." Said the brunette with a sour stomach. A lot had happened in a very short period of time. Natasha nodded quickly.

"Yeah, sure, go ahead." Said the widow, forcing a smile when she noticed the way the witch was shaking with adrenaline. "And Wanda. You did alright, okay? More than that, to be honest. You caught the hint that something was wrong very quickly. I’m proud of you.”

Wanda just nodded, taking the opposite path from all the confusion.  Completely unaware that a few kilometers away, at high speed, a shapeshifter left the motorcycle's handlebars to press against their own chest. Trying to understand why their heart was racing so much and the feeling of doing something wrong if the robbery had been a success.

[forestdeath1]

Canon Sirius through quotes

Part 2. Intelligence and recklessness. Sirius Black (and James Potter, with a bit of Remus and Peter too)

Or who is the smartest of the Marauders?

Sirius and James are described multiple times as exceptionally intelligent. They didn’t need help from Remus or Lily to pass their exams. James didn’t envy Sirius for being ahead academically, and Sirius didn’t ask Remus for help. They could handle everything on their own.

For example, McGonagall rarely gives praise without good reason. Here are her words about James (often unfairly depicted as less intelligent than Sirius or Remus) and Sirius:

‘Precisely,’ said Professor McGonagall. ‘Black and Potter. Ringleaders of their little gang. Both very bright, of course – exceptionally bright, in fact – but I don’t think we’ve ever had such a pair of troublemakers –’

Being "exceptionally bright" is an extremely high praise for intellectual ability from McGonagall.

As for Peter, she speaks rather average of him:

‘Pettigrew... that fat little boy who was always tagging around after them at Hogwarts?’ said Madam Rosmerta. ‘Hero-worshipped Black and Potter,’ said Professor McGonagall. ‘Never quite in their league, talent-wise. I was often rather sharp with him. You can imagine how I – how I regret that now...’ She sounded as though she had a sudden head cold.

Moreover, Peter "was always hopeless at duelling," according to McGonagall. This means that over 7 years, Peter failed to impress McGonagall with his academic achievements. As the head of his house, she was aware of all his grades. Perhaps he was just an average student, but then it's unclear why McGonagall was "often rather sharp with him." She doesn't seem like the type to be sharp over trivial matters.

Slughorn:

‘Well, anyway, he (Sirius) was a big pal of your father’s at school. The whole Black family had been in my house, but Sirius ended up in Gryffindor! Shame – he was a talented boy. I got his brother Regulus when he came along, but I’d have liked the set.’

While Lupin’s words might be biased, he often speaks quite judiciously about people around him, thus:

"Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did – everyone thought they were the height of cool – if they sometimes got a bit carried away –"

He confirms that Sirius and James were the best at everything in school. Meaning academically first of all, because school is primarily about studying.

"It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong – one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it."

And a bit more praise from Lupin towards Sirius and James' giftedness. They were both gifted – Sirius and James.

Even Dumbledore acknowledges:

‘Sirius told me all about how they became Animagi last night,’ said Dumbledore, smiling. ‘An extraordinary achievement – not least, keeping it quiet from me.’

So, not only did they become Animagi (Peter wasn’t much help, according to Lupin), created the Marauder's Map, which contained very unusual magic (they, of course, all created the Map together, but based on the description above, I can assume that the main magical component of the map was the responsibility of James and Sirius), excelled in their studies, created a magical FaceTime – an artefact for communication among themselves, they also managed to keep a lot from the school's headmaster and other teachers. Intelligence plus cunning.

Sirius and James' reaction to others' "stupidity":

‘How thick are you, Wormtail?’ said James impatiently. ‘You run round with a werewolf once a month –’ 

‘Keep your voice down,’ implored Lupin. 

‘Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake,’ he heard Sirius say. ‘I’ll be surprised if I don’t get “Outstanding” on it at least.’ 

‘Me too,’ said James.

Here, I don’t want to dwell on their rudeness, but rather on the reaction itself. Often Lupin is seen studying more than anyone (I too like to see him buried in books), but perhaps Lupin simply needed to study more to pass his exams. He buried himself in textbooks not because he was the smartest, but because it was necessary for him. Remus is clearly not dumb; he became a professor at Hogwarts, he’s also described as intelligent in the canon, but things came much easier to James and Sirius, and they were well aware of how smart they were. Hence their reaction. When a teenager is confident in their superiority, and their intellect is often validated by external factors (grades, teachers' praise), such a reaction from James and Sirius, considering their personalities, is quite expected for their still maturing characters.

‘We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. Here...’ and he (Lupin) held out his book.

But Sirius snorted. ‘I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.’

Sirius' reaction is unequivocal. He doesn’t need to read anything like Lupin, memorising paragraphs. To him, it’s all "rubbish" that he already knows. Sirius likely had a very good long-term memory.

Sirius' memory and attention to detail even after 12 years in Azkaban are also quite remarkable.

"Congratulations on getting past the Horntail, whoever put your name in that Goblet shouldn’t be feeling too happy right now! I was going to suggest a Conjunctivitis curse, as a dragon’s eyes are its weakest point –"

‘That’s what Krum did!’ Hermione whispered.

Clearly, during his 12 years in Azkaban, he didn’t need this knowledge. It’s unlikely he ever used this knowledge in practice. But he remembered it, ready to mention it right away, not having peeked in any books. Even Hermione didn’t know.

‘My God,’ said Lupin softly, staring from Scabbers to the picture in the paper and back again.

‘His front paw...’

‘What about it?’ said Ron defiantly.

‘He’s got a toe missing,’ said Black.

And this is about his attentiveness. To notice that a rat is missing a toe from a small photograph while sitting in Azkaban… I wouldn’t have noticed even without Azkaban.

As for adult Sirius, the fourth book shows many of Sirius' reasonable assumptions that eventually are confirmed. What people mistake for stupidity is his recklessness, as well as his willingness to die for those he loves, to protect them at any cost. His recklessness is usually related to this.

‘The Ministry’s forced through another decree, which means we’re not allowed to have Quidditch teams –’

‘Or secret Defence Against the Dark Arts groups?’ said Sirius. There was a short pause.

‘How did you know about that?’ Harry demanded.

‘You want to choose your meeting places more carefully,’ said Sirius, grinning even more broadly.

‘The Hog’s Head, I ask you.’

‘Well, it was better than the Three Broomsticks!’ said Hermione defensively. ‘That’s always packed with people –’

‘Which means you’d have been harder to overhear,’ said Sirius. ‘You’ve got a lot to learn, Hermione.’

Hermione is very smart, but Sirius immediately explains their tactical mistake. But it still sounds somewhat condescending.

‘But, Sirius, this is taking an awful risk –’ Hermione began.

‘You sound like Molly,’ said Sirius. ‘This was the only way I could come up with answering Harry’s letter without resorting to a code – and codes are breakable.’

It might seem reckless, but he's right, codes can be cracked. And he really wanted to reply to his godson – it's more about his inability to refuse the only living person he loves now and his desire to protect him.

Sirius repeatedly makes correct deductions in the fourth book, here are a couple of examples, but generally, the fourth book is full of rational remarks, assumptions, and overall, he's ready to provide Harry with information, especially in the fifth book, when Harry is having the toughest time and most people simply refuse to tell him anything.

‘Yeah, and Dumbledore said it happened whenever Voldemort was feeling a powerful emotion,’ said Harry, ignoring, as usual, Ron and Hermione’s winces. ‘So maybe he was just, I dunno, really angry or something the night I had that detention.’

‘Well, now he’s back it’s bound to hurt more often,’ said Sirius.

‘So you don’t think it had anything to do with Umbridge touching me when I was in detention with her?’ Harry asked.

‘I doubt it,’ said Sirius. ‘I know her by reputation and I’m sure she’s no Death Eater –’

‘Now, I’ve been keeping an eye on the Daily Prophet, Harry –’

‘You and the rest of the world,’ said Harry bitterly.

‘– and, reading between the lines of that Skeeter woman’s article last month, Moody was attacked the night before he started at Hogwarts. Yes, I know she says it was another false alarm,’ Sirius said hastily, seeing Harry about to speak, ‘but I don’t think so, somehow. I think someone tried to stop him getting to Hogwarts. I think someone knew their job would be a lot more difficult with him around. And no one’s going to look into it too closely, Mad-Eye’s heard intruders a bit too often. But that doesn’t mean he can’t still spot the real thing. Moody was the best Auror the Ministry ever had.’

And much more.

For Harry in the fourth and fifth books, Sirius became the one who supported him and provided information, and all his attempts to break through to Harry, risking being caught – this is an expression of love and desire to help his godson. It's precisely in such moments that his recklessness is revealed – when he wants to help.

Moreover Sirius often gives Harry good advice, there is just one example:

‘Don’t lose your temper,’ said Sirius abruptly. ‘Be polite and stick to the facts.’

‘Good luck,’ said Lupin.

‘I’m sure it will be fine.’ ‘And if it’s not,’ said Sirius grimly, ‘I’ll see to Amelia Bones for you...’

Here's the interweaving of Sirius' rationality and recklessness. He knows the right way. But he himself is ready to throw himself into the line of fire. He never gave Harry impulsive advice. But when it comes to himself or when someone needs protecting, Sirius has a different standard of normalcy.

In conclusion, throughout the series, Sirius makes a number of insightful remarks, and his intelligence and giftedness are exceptionally highly regarded by Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Lupin. I wouldn’t attribute his pathological desire to help those he loves to stupidity. Furthermore, adult Sirius shows recklessness mainly when it concerns his own safety and life — he doesn't cherish his own life if it means the well-being of someone he loves, thus he readily throws himself into danger.

Sirius was a brave, clever and energetic man, and such men are not usually content to sit at home in hiding while they believe others to be in danger. (Dumbledore)

[sha-n-dowbannedlol]

Alhaitham — Nothing ever goes according to plan

It is no secret that Alhaitham is a man of many talents and extreme knowledge—however, one thing that he is willing to admit that he knows little to nothing about is the Art of Romance. Which is why when he caught wind of the budding feelings that he had for you, and when he realized that he actually wants to do something about said feelings, he turned to the one thing he knew he could trust; books.

(No matter how much Kaveh claims to be an expert on the topic, Alhaitham would much rather eat his own shoe than to approach his roommate for advice.)

Which lead to his situation now. The book in his hand was surprisingly quite heavy, a few inches thick with red leather as covering. He almost lets out a scowl as his gaze traces the gold lettering spelling out the title of the book.

Introduction to the Psychology of Love and Attraction.

"Give them a bouquet of flowers"

"Which flowers would be optimal for a confession?" The forest ranger's ears twitch, looking at Alhaitham with a raised brow, quoting the gray-haired man's words, "What's gotten into you, Alhaitham?"

The Scribe inwardly cringes, he knew he should've just went into the House of Daena and researched himself, but when he managed to catch the sight of a certain former botanical scholar turned forest ranger, he couldn't stop himself from approaching him and asking the question. Tighnari furrows his brows to think, before turning his back to Alhaitham and tending to one of the many flowers planted in Pardis Dhyai.

"Red tulips declare love, begging the recipient to believe in your confession. Gerbera Daisies shows desire for a relationship. Sunflowers can be used to tell someone their presence brightened up your life. Garden Cosmos may mean to cherish the one you love. Geranium can send the message that they make you happy, and daffodils can represent self-love or a plea; 'please respond to my love'. Or you can just go with the usual red roses." Tighnari responds without a moment's pause, his voice leveled and neutral, just stating facts and information for Alhaitham to absorb, "Though, these messages may vary depending on the source material you've read, but these are the first ones that came to mind."

"Thank you," The gray-haired man no longer sees any reason to prolong this conversation, "I would appreciate it if no one hears of this conversation,"

"Don't worry," The forest ranger didn't turn to face the scribe, but he did wave Alhaitham goodbye, "I don't think anyone will care enough to ask."

Alhaitham didn't waste any more time and headed to the nearest florist, and with the florist's expertise, it didn't take long before they created the optimal bouquet that he could give you to wordlessly clue you in to his feelings. Sure enough, the florist was quick to notice the language that the bouquet was trying to send and teased Alhaitham about it which he pointedly ignore, giving them the payment for the arrangement and acquiring it from their hands before he headed off.

Much to his dismay, however, he couldn't find you anywhere. As it turns out, you left town earlier in the day for your research, the scholar that informed Alhaitham didn't comment on the obvious disappointment on the Scribe's face as he was informed of your whereabouts. But he eventually shrugged it off, you'll be back soon enough. He can just place these flowers in a vase at home (Kaveh would be sure to have one of those laying around) and give them to you when you come back.

Unfortunately, at the day of your return, Alhaitham was greeted with the horrifying sight of a blank vase.

"Kaveh, have you seen the flowers in this vase?"

"Oh?" Kaveh glances up from his plates he's working on, taking quick look at the vase before looking back down at his work, "I threw them away."

Alhaitham almost exploded.

".....What?"

"They already wilted, what, was I supposed to keep it?"

The architect looks up again, mouth still open and was about to give another jab at his roommate but said roommate has already rushed his ay to the door, and the only thing Kaveh caught sight of was the door closing.

"Weird."

Alhaitham looks on with horror at the sight of the closed shop of the florist, and he fell into even more despair at the sign written at the front of the shop, indicating that they will be closed for quite a while.

To rub even more salt to the wound, you actively sought him out that day because a certain scholar couldn't keep their mouths shut about him searching for you, and here you are now asking him as to why the Scribe of the Akademiya was searching for you—outside of his work hours, even.

"The record you borrowed last time," he lied, "It's already past its due date."

"Ah, of course!"

"Know more about their interests, try to indulge yourself in them"

"the main lead from that romantic novel... I love him! He's definitely my type! My ideal man!"

Alhaitham didn't mean to overhear your private conversation with someone else, but it's not like he cares. It doesn't interest him if a fictional character has managed to catch your eye, at the end of the day, that guy is just a figment of imagination anyway. Just a character made up by a bunch or words written in a page.

He truly doesn't care.

Besides, an ideal is just that. An ideal. Nothing more than a fantasy.

He made his way to the House of Daena, eyes sharp as he examines the spine of various books arranged in a neat fashion, keeping an eye out on certain book he's looking for. It took him half of the day before giving up and leaving the library, the book he's searching for still nowhere in sight. The sun is no longer as scalding hot as it was in the noon when the Scribe exits the Akademiya, making a quick trip from one store to another to search for his book but to no avail. The sun was already setting by the time he finally makes his way home, the book he looked so hard for now in his hands.

Entering his home, he basked in the silence from the absence of his roommate, crossing his legs and opening the book in his lap. He can finally read in peace.

"Which physics book are you reading now?" Alhaitham sighs at the familiar voice that rang, followed by the front door closing as the roommate finally made his appearance,

"It's called 'None of your business'."

"Oh, really?" the sarcasm heavily dripped from Kaveh's words, "What's it about?"

"It's a fictional story about the light of Kshahrewar finally minding his own business for once and not bothering his roommate."

"You-" Kaveh's words die down in his throat in shock, his crimson gaze landing on the book being held in the scribe's hand, the words written at the cover catching his attention, "Wait.. I know that book.."

Alhaitham took that as a sign to leave, snapping the book shut in his hand before getting up and turning his back towards the architect.

"Alhaitham," Kaveh's words were of disbelief, the architect glued to his spot near the doorway,

"Are you reading a romantic novel--?"

"If you're going to be hammering things tonight, do it outside."

He slams the door to his room shut with a scowl.

He can't even read in peace.

He just wanted to know what you like so much about this male lead and he can't even do that with that man around.

"Make sure to look out for them"

thump!

A bag was dropped in front of you, prompting you to look up only to be met with the face of the one and only Alhaitham. You confusion must have been showing because he was quick to answer your question without you even voicing them out.

"My roommate made too much food this morning and he asked me to drop it to you." he lied. He figured there wasn't a need for you to know that he woke up extra early today to gather the best ingredients just so he can cook something he deems to be perfect enough as a gift for you.

All of it was worth it, he concludes, as he sees the glint of pure happiness in your eyes at the sight of free food. You were quick to pull the bag towards you, opening it up to take a peek inside the bag.

"Thank you, please send my re-" you were suddenly cut off, and Alhaitham frowns in concern as the excitement in your features was washed away and replaced with disappointment instead. He blinks as you close the bag once again before pushing it towards him.

"I'm sorry, Alhaitham, but... I can't accept this."

"Why?"

"I'm.... allergic to this."

For the first time in his entire life, he suddenly felt the need to slam his head against the wall. Repeatedly.

How- how in the world did he overlook your allergies?

"I see, that is unfortunate." He didn't allow even a drop of his emotion to seep through his words, picking the bag up once again, "I'll be sure to let him know."

"And of course, go on a date."

"Ms. Nilou has a performance at the Grand Bazaar tonight, Care to join me?"

"Are you... talking to me?" The look of disbelief on your face made Alhaitham sigh exasperatedly.

"Is there anyone else within earshot around here?" He responds, a deadpan look on his face.

"I would love to!" you exclaim in response,

Once again, he is graced by the sight of your wide smile, an excited glimmer in your eyes that never failed to make his heart beat rapidly. His breath hitched in his throat as that beautiful smile was finally aimed towards him, and his thoughts has gone haywire. But of course, you were none the wiser, you never could know what he's thinking with that emotionless look on his face.

However, your smile immediately turns to a frown when you seem to have remembered something, and Alhaitham squeezes his eyes shut as he braces himself for another rejection.

"But... I have an exam coming up, I can't slack off." You sounded so disappointed that he couldn't fault you for cancelling even before plans were made,

"Nothing ever goes according to plan.." he sighs, muttering under his breath. He turns his head away from you, his gaze looking off into the far distance.

You frown at the sight. It occurs to you that you weren't the only one disappointed with not being able to go see Nilou's performance with him. You can't help the guilt that start to well up in your chest at the sad look in Alhaitham's eyes.

"Haitham.." you call out to him, and he turns to look at you with a hum. "Why don't you help me study instead?"

His eyes widen for a fraction of a second in surprise at your suggestion, and you almost blurted out that you were just joking and you couldn't possibly waste his precious time. However, his surprised look morphed into one of soft fondness, an almost unnoticeable smile etched on his lips as his usually sharp eyes now look gentle.

"I guess I can do that."

[sgiandubh]

Alice is blocking people on IG.

Dear Blocking Anon,

I normally could not care less about how she is managing her IG account, but I feel many red lines have been crossed within this entire ahem.. episode.

People claiming to have access to her DMs to fans and no qualms discussing them at length. Unethical, anyone? Bizarre? I have many thoughts and questions, but I will focus instead on what I think could be a plausible explanation for this Cosmic Mess, version 2.0.

We now know he contacted her in DM and followed her IG account on June 13 2024. One more time, I hate to quote myself, but since I posted a LOT (never again, for the sake of this shitshow), may I remind you this tiny detail, perhaps you missed it:

In fact, I should send you back to the big wrap-up post about yesterday's shenanigans, where I theorize the sock account is a well-known troll of this fandom. Who did it before and will do it again.

Also, may I remind you this other tiny detail:

Karina Elle is a common contact. It does ring all sorts of bells, Anon, as to the transactional nature of this new rapport.

Last, but not least, a short trip to my own Archive, Anon:

On June 12th, I posted the stills from TS's concert, Anon. It is my logical and constitutional right to believe S's June 13th expedition to that particular DM inbox was a knee jerk reaction to that. Especially when some bitches took pains to immediately post this on IG, tagging everybody:

What did I reveal, Anon? Something I believe to have been organic couple behavior, in a VIP tent, at a public event (concert), in the darkness.

What was the rebuke, Anon? Something I believe to have been a totally lame and transactional choreography, in a VIP tent, at a public event (tennis tournament), in broad daylight.

It is impossible not to notice the symmetry, here.

So, he 'slid into her DMs', she got all excited, talked to those fans, told them she was invited to LHR by him and then she apparently inexplicably went ballistic and 'hurtful' to them, further down those DMs timeline. Timeline which, according to Marple, is 20 to 26 June. The only reason for that sudden change of behavior would be a conversation with S, who probably thought those fans were shippers. He should know by now NO SHIPPER ever harassed the entourage as consistently and intensely as the Best of Fans did. I think mistakes were made on our side too, but not recently and not by me or anyone I know of. Evidence is the fans who were 'hurt' went to complain to Marple, not me or Bat or anyone else in here, for that matter.

Something happened between June 20 and 26, transforming those two individuals' IG interaction from banter to contract. A trip to London, all expenses paid. Detailed indications on what to wear (YELLOW!) and how to behave. Illogical bursts of affection from her, while he looked disconnected for most of the time, or at least most of the time we were privy to.

Organic, my foot, Anon. And now she's blocking people, you tell me?

She is such a sweet summer child and if this will end well, I am Ingrid Bergman, Anon.

[sh1nsoukoku]

Pls tell me all dazai autism traits in ur list

OMG I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED, yes yes yes…

I want to preface this by saying this is in no means supposed to be canon facts or a diagnosis, I just think he is a very autistic-coded character coming from my own experiences as an autistic adult!

Long post under the cut because I don’t know how to stfu!!!

We will start with my main reasoning:

As we know, Dazai and his ability are based off of the work No Longer Human. Dazai being similar to the main character Yozo. Yozo is a kind of “stand in” for the real life author Osamu Dazai as No Longer Human contains a lot of real events from the author’s life. BSD Dazai and Yozo’s main similarities are the disconnection from others and high masking. Here are two quotes from the book:

“All I feel are the assaults of apprehension and terror at the thought that I am the only one who is entirely unlike the rest. It is almost impossible for me to converse with other people. What should I talk about? How should I say it? - I don’t know.”

This is incredibly similar to the lived experiences of Autistic people. I used to feel like an alien, or just fundamentally different than others. We tend to also struggle with communicating and other social dynamics. Dazai feels isolated from others, let’s very few people close, and searches for meaning by observing other humans and life and death itself. He quotes this as his reason for joining the Mafia. He also processes emotion differently, at odds with people around him.

“I managed to maintain on the surface a smile which never deserted my lips; this was the accommodation I offered to others, a most precarious achievement performed by me only at the cost of excruciating efforts within.”

This is one of the best descriptions I have read of Autistic Masking. Dazai HIGHLY masks. Dazai is known for not showing his true thoughts/feelings/opinions often in BSD. He can code switch easily, serious in one moment and then covering it with his over the top silly/unusual/maniacal personality. In NLH this is described as “clowning.” I also think Dazai’s genius “always according to plan” thing is sometimes a mask, so he doesn’t show the fact that he’s working hard to pull strings and figure things out.

He does have some insane pattern recognition though which is also an autistic attribute!

And now for the more surface level reasons:

Repetitive Behavior/Media Consumption: Dazai reads the same book over and over again. The Ultimate Guide to Suicide is a book he’s had with him since his PM days and he tells Atsushi that he already knows everything it says because he’s read it hundreds of times. A very common autistic trait!

Restricted Diet: Dazai seems to have a limited diet consisting of alcohol and canned crab! It’s a same food/safe food he has often. His room was described to be full of discarded cans of crab and bottles. Limited diets are common in autistic people.

Stimming: Dazai stims! He is a very wiggly and stimmy person. There’s several scenes where he is seen humming and singing or making little silly noises.

Dazai and his headphones are so important to me.. he seems to wear them frequently around the office. It could be noise cancelling or auditory stimulation that he likes.

The man never sits normally on a chair which is something I think a lot of neurodivergent people can relate to.

And of course floor time! Shown by him rolling around when stressed, laying on the rooftop and a few instances in Wan! like the marshmallow scene.

Also you can’t tell me that this is not two burnt out autistics after overworking their brains…

[flowerbloom-arts]

I'm aspiring to make a clip compilation of Skinner being on the receiving end of gay jokes (+ ChalmSkinn scenes/jokes) and here's the list I've managed to compile thus far, organized by joke category:

“Skinner gets called gay”

Skinner gets assumed as a "homersexual" and Homer asks if he's into women - s2 ep14: Principal Charming

Chalmers tells Skinner to be gay on his own time after Skinner says they have horoscopic compatibility - s16 ep17: The Heartbroke Kid

Child draws Skinner kissing a merman as a prank - s17 ep18: The Wettest Stories Ever Told

Skinner is in the middle of explaining how he knows how to slingshot "like all boys" and Nelson cuts him off saying "You like all boys? Hah hah!" - s20 ep11: How The Test Was Won

Skinner AND Chalmers get called the worst-dressed gay men a substitute teacher has ever met - s24 ep15: Black-Eyed, Please

“Wait, IS Skinner gay (bi)?”

Bart tells Skinner to get himself fired from the army by flirting with his commanding officer, which Skinner accepts without hesitation - s5 ep19: Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badaasssss Song

Skinner and Homer are in a hotel for jury duty and Skinner points out that they're like The Odd Couple (with Skinner being like Felix and Homer like Oscar) - s5 ep20: The Boy Who Knew Too Much

Skinner reads a Confirmed Bachelor Magazine while looking over detention - s21 ep4: Treehouse of Horror XX

Skinner kisses Groundskeeper Willie and they both realize they kinda like kissing men and go from uncomfortable to REALLY making out - s21 ep15: Stealing First Base

“Skinner and Chalmers have a... situationship.”

Skinner laughs at an accidental joke Chalmers makes and Chalmers joins him - s4 ep20: Wacking Day

Skinner and Chalmers laugh at the idea of using their oil money to pay the students' scholarships - s6 ep25: Who Shot Mr. Burns? part one

Chalmers teases Skinner and excitedly shows off his new Honda to him - s8 ep7: Lisa's Date With Density

Skinner offers Chalmers to use his Merkur (car) after Chalmers' Camry got destroyed, Chalmers rejects him on the basis that his car is full of Burger King litter - s16 ep5: Fat Man and Little Boy

Chalmers says he wished he and Skinner were closer when Skinner gets killed in front of him - s18 ep4: Treehouse of Horror XVII

Skinner honors the "ding" in "balding" for Chalmers - s18 ep5: G.I. D'oh

Skinner and Chalmers sing a musical number together and Skinner "makes it weird" (according to Chalmers) by complimenting his voice at the end - s18 ep14: Yokel Chords

Chalmers, Skinner and Willie get caught in a Diet Coke and Mentos explosion inside a storage building, Chalmers yells for Skinner but gets no response, gets worried and then when he does respond saying he's alright Chalmers tells him to never scare him like that again - s19 ep13: The Debarted

Chalmers and Skinner create the production company "ChalmSkinn" and do some morally dubious scheming together while wearing atleast 3 matching outfits - s19 ep18: Any Given Sundance

Chalmers tells Skinner they should start eating a cock cannoli that flew in through the window at both ends to hide it from Agnes, and that quote, "They'll know they're safe when their lips meet in the middle", they then proceed without hesitation - s20 ep1: Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes

Skinner is confused and upset that Chalmers is "overseeing other principals" and asks what they're going to tell the kids, Chalmers says the kids already know and they're happy for him. This is clearly a breakup allegory. - s20 ep19: Waverly Hills 9-0-2-1-D’oh

Chalmers lays down on Skinner's thigh and tells Skinner to hold his head and say soothing things - s20 ep21: Coming To Homerica

Skinner and Chalmers (and Agnes) have a firework show picnic in the background of a flashback scene - s22 ep10: Moms I'd Like to Forget

Skinner flirts with Chalmers and gets called a regular Casanova by him - s22 ep11: Flaming Moe

Skinner has a dream about being a cowboy and literally rides Chalmers - s25 ep7: Yellow Subterfuge

Demon ChalmSkinn's entire character - s26 ep4: Treehouse of Horror XXV

Skinner and Chalmers rub elbows and laugh about kids not being their problem after 6th grade - s26 ep22: Mathlete's Feat

Chalmers and Skinner share a virtual picnic date together in VR (except Chalmers is dating Skinner's grave in his POV) - s28 ep2: Friends and Family

Kearney asks Skinner if he likes Chalmers so much, why doesn't he marry him? Skinner says that as Superintendent Chalmers is basically married to all of his principals and smiles proudly - s30 ep1: Bart's Not Dead

Skinner performs the heimlich maneuver on Chalmers in a bafflingly suggestive way and uses his shirt and suit jacket as a pillow for him, and then gently strokes his head while saying "You're safe now" - s31 ep1: The Winter of Our Monetized Content

Just. Most of the episode. - s32 ep8: The Road to Cincinnati

Skinner and Chalmers have a Steamed Hams-themed Christmas card decorated with candy canes forming hearts in the credits - s32 ep16: Manger Things

Skinner and Chalmers get inside a closet to privately celebrate having a good, qualified teacher apply to their school - s33 ep18: My Octopus and a Teacher

If you know any more scenes that fit into these categories PLEASE tell me, I want to be as thorough as possible with this compilation.

[chvoswxtch]

frank? can I have an americano? was just thinking about the greys anatomy quote "oh screw beautiful, I'm brilliant! if you wanna appease me, compliment my brain!"

CRISTINA IS MY FAVORITE

yes you absolutely can <3

blurb below the cut

order for frank with a shot of grey's anatomy

The elevator already felt small with Frank’s large frame taking up most of it, but with your silent simmering frustration filling the rest of the confined space like a dense fog, the heavy tension made it feel even more cramped. Subtly turning his head to look at you, Frank was clueless about why you seemed so pissed off. Everything had gone according to plan without a hitch. No bullets were fired, no blood was shed; the only violent thing that had happened all night was you shoving the retrieved key card into Frank’s chest when he met you in the alley behind the hotel.

Frank couldn’t tear his eyes away from you, not just because he was trying to figure out why you were so angry with him, but also because of how good you looked. The elegant gown looked like it was made to be worn by you, and the color suited you perfectly. Your hair was in a different style than normal, and he realized he’d never seen you so dolled up before. It suddenly dawned on him that he hadn’t mentioned your appearance once all night. Was that why you were upset? You thought he didn’t notice?

“You uh, you look beautiful.”

Frank thought it was the right thing to say, but the way you snapped your head in his direction and glared at him with fire in your eyes, he quickly knew he had been very wrong, and he was now even more perplexed. 

“Oh screw beautiful, I’m brilliant! If you wanna appease me, compliment my brain.”

It was your goddamn plan that worked flawlessly. You’d managed to talk Frank out of jumping straight to beating the shit out of his target to get the information he needed, and instead presented him with a seamless plan to get the information yourselves. All you needed was the man’s personal key card to gain access to his office where he kept his restricted files, and you’d found out he was attending a charity event that weekend, which created the perfect opportunity to swipe it.

The plan was simple. You attend the event as a guest, innocently collide with the target, charm him long enough to pick his pocket, and make a stealth exit. Frank’s role was to keep an eye on you with a sniper rifle from above, ready to strike if necessary. Initially, he’d been stubborn and given you push back. He didn’t think it would work, and he didn’t like you putting yourself at risk. It was like pulling teeth trying to get him to agree to do things your way, and he kept reminding you up until the moment you went inside that he didn’t like it.

But it fucking worked.

It was perfect. You got in, got exactly what you needed, and got out in record time. The guy probably wouldn’t even realize his key card was missing until Monday morning. But did Frank say anything about how smoothly things went? No. Did he admit that he had been wrong to doubt you? No. Did he even acknowledge that your way worked? No.

Watching you cross your arms over your chest while you let out a huff of irritation, it seemed to finally click for him why you were so pissed, and Frank let out an amused chuckle which earned him another glare from you. Reaching out with his hand, Frank pushed the emergency button to stop the elevator, and when he caught the look of confusion interwoven in your expression of annoyance, the edge of his mouth quirked up in a faint smirk.

“Alright, fine. You were right. Your way worked better. It was a damn good plan, and I shoulda listened from the start. That better?”

Still glaring daggers in his direction, you stared at him silently for a moment before turning away to face the closed elevator doors.

“I’d like that in writing.”

“Think I got a napkin somewhere in the truck. That work for ya?”

“Don’t forget to sign and date it.”

Frank just shook his head at your snappy reply, pressing the emergency button again to get the elevator to continue its descent, letting out a light chuckle.

“Yes ma’am.”

[yogsandchaos]

I clicked on a video essay about the problems with mcrp by frostbyfreeman, and boy did I regret it, giant rant under the cut

I genuinely think the dream smp as a story and it's failings can only be done by someone who was a fan or at least had some respect for the series. Listening to anyone who doesn't try and talk about it is very...painful, like I'm sorry but the Hamilton homages were really good and fun and helped make sure everyone understood what was going on! I've been listening to the frostbye freeman's video on scripted minecraft videos and i am wincing at the incorrect details and honestly somewhat pompous takes on what counts as a good story.

Wilbur's writing was genuinely good and moving at times, and the smp hadn't hit it's BIG popularity yet when it super was leaning into the hamilton stuff so they still were mostly just goofing around and the scripting was a lot looser. Like he spent the entire opening gassing up the early more obviously scripted stuff as if there wasn't like 30 over a million views yandere simulator knocks via all the yandere highschools, it's the same thing!

By the time the story shifts into Technoblade's allegories the entire genre of the smp has changed from a goofy joke about countries that also tackled things of justice in the background, into a more tense action and espionage story that fits allegories better (which tbf i always thought were a little forced, tommy is not theseus at all really, techno has more in common but thats a whooole other rabbit hole)

Also head writer? Since when was Technoblade a HEAD writer, he wrote the stuff around his own character yes, but everyone else around that was being written by dream quackity and tommy after Wilbur stepped down! It was not or never was his goal to tie all of the dsmp into a cohesive story to my knowledge or according to anything I can find.

While he has some points about people fighting for attention, a lot of the arcs that went nowhere or suddenly pivoted or stopped were for a lot of reasons outside the server's management. While I am sad some things didn't get proper endings, their existences weren't problems or a sign of arrogance, it was people excited to tell their own stories. Some failed, some didn't, that's natural for a collaboration of this size, and while things could have DEFINITELY been organized better 100% its just how its going to go in a project like this that not everything is going to be able to get the attention and streams it needs, people have lives outside the smp and have other things to do or run out of ideas, it happens.

If anything I liked how everyone had their own lore! Everyone had biased versions of events or thoughts and opinions! No one needed to agree on everything because the inherent nature of choosing a streamer is choosing a bias! No one 100% knew the truth, and everyone who saw the same event came out with different interpretations! That's just how things work! Thats not a writing error!

You say none of it made sense but did you actually ask someone who cared about the series about it! People have spent so much time piecing everything together it's actually kind of insulting to flat out state that it makes no sense when so many people could just straight up tell you the entire timeline for their streamer, or of events, or how things led into each other!

God I hate the use of "if everyones the protagonist no one is" like first of all, pretentious as hell. Second of all, the point of the other streamers isn't to just be supporting cast but to ALSO have their own goals and desires, because all characters have goals and desires! While tommy is the quote unquote main character, everyone in the dsmp has clear goals or at least interests that make sense for them to go after! Do you expect badboyhalo and quackity and everyone to just do nothing while tommy's in exile? No! That's stupid and he is ALSO a streamer who needs a story to tell!

It would be completely immersion breaking and so much less real feeling if every single story and every action was just about tommy and if he's not in the area it just stopped until he got back! You can just admit this kind of format isn't for you! Lifesteal isn't "worse" because there isn't one singular main character, that's not how servers work! You pick your favorite and see their pov and how they see events unfold! It's not supposed to be an unbiased telling, it's one person in this world giving their biased and personal accounts! THIS KIND OF CONTENT HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE LIKE 2012 WITH HERMITCRAFT, IT'S NOT NEW!!!

"The dream smp's only lasting legacy besides the amazing countless fanarts is infecting all the wannabe content creators it spawned with a terminal case of main character syndrome." Oh fuck offfff, have you literally talked to anyone in this fandom ever? Songs, animations, cosplay, stories, and CAREERS were launched off the back of the dream smp "and that final folly" say you've never talked to an inniter without saying you've never talked to an inniter.

Genuinely the entire dream smp part of this video is insulting, misinformed, and lazy. Getting key differences wrong and presenting opinion as objective facts. The worst part? You can find every single issue in an old school scripted series. He spends the entire opening talking about the good days when minecraft roleplay was earnest and was well written and had meaning but like?

"its homage" every single yandere highschool series but especially the main og of samgladiator's

"it has too many main characters" mianite

"too many dropped plots" aphmau, just aphmau in general

"the lore is confusing" jurassic craft

in fact, you can sum up ALL OF THAT UNDER THE YOGSCAST

YOU KNOW?

ONE OF THE BIGGEST SOURCES OF THOSE SCRIPTED MINECRAFT EARLY ROLEPLAYS THAT GOT SO HEAVILY PRAISED AT THE START? SHADOW OF ISRAPHEL?

IT HASN'T GOTTEN WORSE AT ALL, EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM LISTED, IS NOT THE DREAM SMPS FAULT, BUT IT HAS BEEN THERE SINCE THE GODDAMN DAWN OF MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY!

Calling all of the dream smp, life steal, all of those smps "crude performance art" is genuinely the most disrespectful thing I've heard I just, how is this video not disliked into oblivion!? You say they've yet to change from genre to it's own medium of art, but that means nothing! That has no meaning! It is the same thing! The medium is just the place the story gets told, it's the lens the story is created with. Writing is a medium! Drawing is a medium! Painting is a medium! Minecraft smp videos are inherently in the medium of the minecraft program!

The utter constant disrespect of the genuine stories and tales people try and tell with minecraft, saying minecrafters have nothing to say, it's cruel! I can find you so many minecraft videos over an hour long that are poignant! I can give you so many stories about minecrafters handling tough themes! To dismiss it ALL as lazy slop is at worst a show of utter pure pretension, and at best a lack of understanding for the genre and a lack of research.

Why are you trying to engage with a minecraft scripted story as a FILM it's NOT A FILM and it is not TRYING TO BE A FILM, it's closer to a tv series! You say people cant be off their cellphones during a film, but you're BINGING something not MEANT to be binged! You are also engaging incorrectly! You would fail to grasp the merit of a podcast because people listen to them while doing other things! Each video he showed of parrot's has MILLIONS of views so clearly, this isnt a universal fact! you just do not like this kind of content! That is okay! It does not mean theres a secret sickness!

Genuinely every word out of this person's mouth makes me want to start biting, he calls the videos entertaining, then DERIDES THEM for not being "actual stories" and that "he needs to sit at the grown up table if he wants to be a story teller" like literally? what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Just because it's not fucking brokeback mountain doesn't make it not a story. A story is just that, a story! You can tell a story in three lines

"Once upon a time there was a dog named spot Spot had a nice nap about chasing squirrels before he woke up Then he went to chase squirrels before taking a nap again"

THAT'S A STORY, that's objectively a story! im being a storyteller! Its not a long story, it's not LITERATURE, but it is in fact. A story. Just because it's not the odyssey doesnt make it not a story! THAT'S HOW STORIES WORK. How can you deride a story taking place in minecraft...for being bound to the rules of minecraft? thats a part of the medium! YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED IT TO BE IT'S OWN MEDIUM AND YET YOU CONSTANTLY DERIDE EVERYTHING THAT MAKES IT UNIQUE

The lack of self awareness, the lack of care, the lack of understanding why these videos get so many views, it's insidious, it infects every pore of this video. The premise is "i dont like something therefor its bad and im going to ramble about cinema to make me sound smart for saying that" and it's so goddamn blatant that he worked backwards from an inherent bias against a type of medium to condemn it as a whole without taking any real steps to question that bias!

Also the sheer nitpicking against "content creator" vs "storyteller" like i get content creator is an annoying term and everyone hates it, but its literally just shorthand for "makes something for other people to enjoy" like oh my god you don't need to treat it like it's this disgusting plague on the minecraft community. Like you ask why minecraft roleplays have to be scripted smps, and the answer is that some stories want to be told through that lens, while others want to be told through different lenses of what minecraft can be used for. You might as well ask why some people use pens instead of pencil or why people use fantasy instead of sci-fi for all the meaning that question actually has. It's either so benign it has no meaning to ask, or complete apples or oranges!

God, how am I only 30 minutes in. I don't even want to continue. This was only supposed to be me rambling about how the dream smp cannot be understood fully as a story from someone who refuses to engage with it on it's terms, but the sheer audacity of everything this video says is just...disgusting to me and I had to keep commenting on it.

For someone who talks about how important brevity is, this hour long video is full of boring unrelated nonsense that easily could have been cut, false dichotomies being drawn, and far too much time talking about stories you clearly dont want to give even a chance. It's just bad, it's the "why is minecraft boring now" video for minecraft roleplay where it demands it be something its not and never has been, and then throws a fit about it and about people who do like it and holds a nostalgia for something that has the exact same flaws and thus polishes into something Better.

As a story teller myself, as someone who enjoys minecraft roleplays, who has been watching mcrp videos since 2012, it's genuinely disgusting how little respect or care he has for the creators he talks about. As if those creators and all the people who like it are idiots while He is the only one with True Taste that everyone else must go up to meet. It's annoying as hell, and i regret clicking on that video

[estherax]

Disco Elysium creative team VS Studio ZA/UM: the complete(?) timeline (updated on March 24th)

Recent news confused a lot of people, including me, so I made a timeline of events to understand the situation better! If you have any corrections, more info and sources feel free to reach out to me or add to this post!

Important parts are highlighted in orange, names and organizations to keep in mind are in italics, the newest corrections and updates are highlighted in green, other information elaborating on the situation is in (brackets).

October 1st, 2022. Martin Luiga puts out a Medium post announcing the dissolution of ZA/UM cultural association and confirming that Kurvitz, Hindpere, Rostov no longer work at ZA/UM studio "since the end of last year and their leaving the company was involuntary."

October 3rd 2022. Kotaku published an article, claiming "the studio hasn’t been transparent about what exactly happened with staff either." According to "two sources familiar with the situation, the studio’s internal announcement of Kurvitz’s departure late last year [2021] also contained a threat of possible legal action against him. Any split would have been made messier by Kurvitz and Rostov being shareholders in the studio, the sources said. It’s also clear ZA/UM has gone out of its way to try and keep the situation quiet. Kotaku reached out for an interview with Kurvitz in February [2022]. The studio declined on his behalf, but provided no indication the developer had already left the company." Kotaku also mentions a tweet from Martin Luiga announcing the dissolution of ZA/UM cultural association. One of Martin's tweets (further elaborating on the dissolution) was quote tweeted by user nob69691 with caption "the suits have killed disco", to which he responded with pictures of the game’s executive producers, Tõnis Haavel and Kaur Kender.

October 25th, 2022. Kotaku Australia reports Kurvitz’s company, Telomer, has filed an application against Studio ZA/UM to "obtain information and review documents." Court date is listed as November 28th, 2022.

Kotaku also reached out to Martin Luiga for a comment; when asked if the case’s purpose was to regain control of the Elysium IP, he responded, “What else could it possibly be?”

November 9th, 2022. Studio ZA/UM puts out a statement detailing the dismissed employees (unnamed) "had limited to no engagement in their responsibilities and work, created a toxic work environment, demonstrated misconduct towards other employees including verbal abuse and gender discrimination, and attempted to illegally sell ZA/UM's intellectual property".

In an Estonian newspaper, Estonian Ekspress, ZA/UM CEO Ilmar Kompus has further accused Kurvitz and shareholder Saandar Taal (Rostov's alias) of "humiliating colleagues and intending to steal IP" as well as "belittling women and co-workers."

Kompus added that their dismissal was demanded and carried out by Kaur Kender, executive producer on Disco Elysium and their direct manager at the time. Kender was placed on a leave of absence on medical grounds in late August according to Kompus.

Speaking to the Estonian Ekspress, Martin Luiga said he was "driven to drink by the unnatural work arrangement" at the studio. "The work was organised in such a way that the goal did not seem to be to make games, but rather to make people quarrel with each other."

(I am also adding anonymous claims, take them with a grain of salt)

One source that spoke to GamesIndustry.biz, who asked to remain anonymous, described the situation as "not black and white," and said that long-term staff were reluctant to speak out about Kurvitz’ behaviour because they respected him, and felt like they owed him for their positions. Sources that spoke to the Estonian Ekspress described a clash of two visions between the business team of ZA/UM led by Kompus, and the creative team formerly headed by Robert Kurvitz, which considered profit "secondary." This was corroborated by our sources, one of which described the situation as "CEO corporate scheming on one side, a toxic auteur on the other."

On the same day, Kurvitz and Rostov shared a Medium post explaining their side. Kurvitz and Rostov are minority shareholders in Studio ZA/UM, while "the majority of this company’s shares were initially held by Margus Linnamäe, who provided the initial capital. In 2021, Linnamäe was bought out by another minority shareholder," a company called Tütreke. They say this company "is a vehicle for two Estonian businessmen — Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel." Kurvitz and Rostov described Linnamäe as a trusted majority shareholder, but didn't share the same sentiment regarding Kompus and Haavel. "As soon as they became majority shareholders, we were quickly excluded from daily operations, our employment was terminated and our access to the company’s information was shut off. Our firing came weeks after we started asking for documents and financial data, which is still being kept from us. We have now learned that Tütreke OÜ must have obtained control over Zaum Studio OÜ by fraud. We believe the money used by Tütreke OÜ to buy the majority stake was taken illegally from Zaum Studio OÜ itself".

Studio ZA/UM denied any claims of fraud and insisted that dismissal of wokers "was a decision that had to be taken for the wellbeing of the collective."

Correction: Ilmar Kompus's statement came out first on Estonian Ekspress on November 8th 2022 21:06. His statement and Studio ZA/UM's statement given to GameIndustry.biz were reproduced and published in a GameIndustry.biz report on November 9th. Rostov and Kurvitz's Medium statement came out later on November 9th. GameIndustry.biz report added an excerpt from Medium on November 10th. (i used Wayback Machine to check this, the report was updated between 11:08 and 11:53)

November 9th 2022. Kotaku puts out an article, summarizing the above statments from Studio ZA/UM, Kompus, Kurvitz and Rostov. "When asked by Kotaku, a spokesperson for ZA/UM declined to elaborate beyond its original statement [about dismissal of employees over misconduct], including whether the allegations also applied to Rostov as well as Helen Hindpere."

23rd of November, 2022. PC Gamer reports a hearing was held in Harju County Court in October, where Kurvitz and Rostov argued that Kompus had allegedly sold four concept sketches (for Disco Elysium sequel), to Tütreke for just over €1 and then immediately bought them back for €4.8 million using Studio ZA/UM's money. This amount is what was apparently used to buy Linnamäe's large stake, and put it in the hands of Kompus. "Kompus allegedly hoped that ZA/UM and Disco Elysium could be resold quickly. [...] But there remained a problem: Robert Kurvitz is the creator of Disco Elysium, still owns a piece of it, and has the right to block any acquisition."

The latest legal battle was lodged by Kaur Kender, executive producer and marketing manager of the game, "who claimed in court that Kompus cheated him out of just under €1,000,000." At Kender's request, the court seized Kompus' stake in Studio ZA/UM to prevent a sale or transfer of holdings during the proceedings.

Haavel is also accused in the lawsuit of following Kompus' actions. The filing pointed out that the holder of the IP rights to Disco Elysium is a subsidiary called YESSIRNOSIR LTD, which is owned by ZA/UM UK. The director of ZA/UM UK is Anu Reiman, who is also reportedly a partner of Haavel's. Kender claims that Haavel's involvement is being "kept secret" because he's €11.2 million in debt as a result of his 2015 conviction.

Speaking to the Estonian Ekspress, Kompus denied the existence of a lawsuit against him, and Haavel called the allegations "completely absurd." Both were shown legal documents by the outlet and did not respond.

December 8th, 2022. According to GamesIndustry.biz article, Kaur Kender has withdrawn a lawsuit against Tütreke.

Studio ZA/UM provided a statement from Kompus, but could not provide a reason for Kender's withdrawal. Kompus says: "We are pleased that Kender and his attorneys have chosen to withdraw their lawsuit – one that should never have been filed in the first place. Their decision affirms there was no basis for their accusations and that I have acted appropriately and responsibly, as underscored by the corporate records I provided."

The article also mentions Studio ZA/UM was unable to provide an update on the suit's progression against Kurvitz's company, Telomer.

PC Gamer reached for comment, Kender stated that his lawsuit against the owner of Studio ZA/UM proved to be successful and provided a timeline of the lawsuit:

Kaur Kender's lawsuit against the owner of ZA/UM was successful.

Kaur Kender's (his company, Chromed Investing OÜ) lawsuit against the owner of Zaum Studio OÜ proved to be successful.

On October 25, 2022, Kaur Kender's company filed a lawsuit against OÜ Tütreke (Ilmar Kompus company), in which was demanded the seizure of Zaum Studio OÜ's share belonging to OÜ Tütreke.

On October 29, 2022, the Estonian court secured the action and shares belonging to OÜ Tütreke were seized.

On October 31, 2022, the order securing the action was forwarded to Nasdaq and the Estonian Business Register.

On November 1, 2022, Kaur Kender sent a letter in English to contacts, including Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel, stating that the minority shareholders demand the convening of a general meeting.

On November 4, 2022, Ilmar Kompus' company OÜ Tütreke paid a total of 4 million euros to Zaum Studios OÜ in two payments.

On November 11, 2022, Ilmar Kompus' company OÜ Tütreke paid 800,000 euros to ZA/UM Studios OÜ.

Ilmar Kompus referred in the corresponding payment orders: "Return of the amounts received on the basis of the contract on 12.2021-01.2022 due to the nullity of the contract".

To the extent that Ilmar Kompus returned the illegally taken 4,800,000 euros, Kaur Kender achieved the goal of the lawsuit filed, and the court proceedings in this case will be terminated.

PC Gamer also provided commentary and an excerpt from Estonian Ekspress: "Eesti Ekspress reports that Kompus "paid back" €4.8 million to Studio ZA/UM in November. The outlet says that the reason provided for the transaction was that the €4.8 million "was received on the basis of a void transaction." Eesti Ekspress points out that Kompus "controls both sides" of that void transaction. [...] By now transferring €4.8 million to the company to repay it for a "void transaction," the intended message seems to be that he didn't use company money to buy his shares. But why did he have the €4.8 million in the first place?"

Robert Kurvitz told PC Gamer that his party is aware of "Kompus’s view that the money taken from ZA/UM Studio was 'repaid'." Kurvitz says he's seen a "partial bank statement allegedly confirming such repayment," but remains unclear on the "source and legal nature of this repayment, and the further use of the allegedly repaid funds."

"Further, any 'repayment' of the company’s money which was used to illegally acquire a majority stake does not erase the main consequence of the initial injustice⁠—which is that Kompus remains the majority owner, a position that he was only able to attain by using the company’s money as his own," said Kurvitz. "In light of this, there has been no material change in our situation, and we continue to consider our legal options. We cannot comment on the decisions taken by Kaur Kender with regard to his claim, to which we were never a party."

March 14, 2023. GamesIndustry.biz reports legal dispute between Studio ZA/UM and the game's producer Kaur Kender has been resolved.

"ZA/UM has announced that ex-staffer Kender has repaid all debts owed to it. Also, per a court order, Kender has repaid CEO Ilmar Kompus for legal fees from a lawsuit that was eventually withdrawn back in December. Additionally, he's divested all his shares in the games company.

Studio ZA/UM says both Kurvitz and Rostov have dropped their "unfair dismissal" claims due to lack of evidence. However, the company says it continues to face a "series of baseless allegations from former employees" and expects more claims to "fall apart under legal and factual scrutiny."

March 16, 2023. In a statement sent to GamesIndustry.biz, Kurvitz and Taal (alias for Aleksander Rostov) said the press release is false in multiple areas. The pair maintain they are the remaining minority shareholders of the studio. The developers explained, "The press release implies that our employment claims against the studio were withdrawn for lack of evidence. They were not. We see our dismissal as part of a larger campaign against us and will pursue legal options accordingly." The statement adds that they disagreed with Kender admitting the lawsuit he withdrew in December 2022 was misguided.

"Kender's lawsuit was based on the misuse of ZA/UM's funds (€4.8 million) by the majority shareholders [Ilmar Kompus and Tõnis Haavel] to increase their own stake in the company. In the press release, Kompus and Haavel admit to this misuse, arguing only that the money has been 'paid back to ZA/UM,' " the duo explained.

"Paying back stolen money, however, does not undo the crime; here, it does not undo the majority that Kompus and Haavel have illegally gained in ZA/UM."

Additionally, they described that, unlike Kender, they will not be silenced in this ongoing legal dispute. "Unlike Kender, we have not participated in the looting of ZA/UM, and Kompus and Haavel have no power over us."

March 23rd 2023. GamesIndustry.biz updates initial post with a reply statment from ZA/UM. The studio reiterated that Kender admitted that the lawsuit was misguided on his part. It said, "In addition, as part of a court order, he also paid the legal fees for CEO Ilmar Kompus, who had to respond to that now-withdrawn claim." ZA/UM adds, "Using details like 'looting,' 'stolen money,' and 'crime' make for riveting reading but are far from reality. The actual harm to the studio is not from some fictional 'looting,' but rather from Mr. Kurvitz and Mr. Taal, while employed by the studio, refusing to do their jobs, creating a toxic workplace, demeaning colleagues, and attempting to misappropriate Studio IP."

Additionally, the studio explained that Kurvitz and Taal are welcome to challenge these facts in court.

(The next court hearing is scheduled for September 11th.)

[jamethinks]

Model Un but instead it's model parliament.

Damian obviously goes for prime minister but he couldn't pick between emile and ewen for deputy so he just picked George for some reason.

Becky wanted to go for leader of the opposition but got too nervous, and somehow, Anya managed to become the leader of the opposition. Everyone was pissed because they were sure Anya was going to lose. Becky was realistically their best pick since she had the charisma and aggression to match Damian.

In a shocking turn of events, Anya actually does well. Her method? Just disagree. Eventually, the cracks in Damian's plans will show, Mr Henderson will catch it, and therefore, Anya will and she can send him packing every time.

Also, since Ostania is a capitalist hellscap, comrade Anya had no problems denouncing everything with a bit of repressed Marxism.

----------

Damian: Before we begin, let's have a prayer and welcome the Lord into this space to guide us along this discussion.

Students: sure

Anya: hold it right there buckaroo. I am not Christian I am Muslim. I have no interest in praying to your God.

Damian: fine then pray to whatever made up god you worship

Students: *nods in agreement, Anya's team is getting nervous*

Anya: Mr. Desmond. Did you know only 47% of Ostanians identify with some denominator of Christianity. Not to mention there's an approximate 0.1% who practice Islam. Are you sure this is the approach you want to take when discussing religious diversity.

Damian: jeez what's the point of focusing on 0.1% of the population? Just sit down and let us pray.

Anya: *mischievous smirk*

--------------

Damian: i think we can all agree the tax rate for the upper class is far too extreme. We worked very hard for our money no reason we should be punished extra for doing better

Students: *rousing applause in agreement*

Anya: I object!

Damian: that's not what you're supposed to say Anya

Anya: speaker of the house, I want to relay a few important statistics to you. The proposed tax brackets will mostly impact Ostanians making over one bazillion dalc a year. And according to recent surveys only 0.1% of Ostanians make that much a year. In fact, the total percentage of people that will be caterized in the upper 3 brackets is a whooping 3%.

Damian: whats your point?

Anya: I'm just saying, the increase in government revenue can be extremely beneficial to the public and helping to improve the southern states infrastructure. Why are we passing on such a beneficial bill? Because it can slightly inconvenience 0.1% of Ostanians compared to the 36% that will be aided with the infrastructure improvements?

Henderson, in his head: honestly I'm just surprised she knows so many words and numbers. I checked out an hour ago when they started debating ice cream flavors.

Damian: t-those statistics are wrong

Anya: oh really? *snaps*

Martha, fabricating out of thin air, sets up a poster board.

Anya: right here on this board we can see all my numbers accurately crunched with sources properly cited.

Damian: there is no way you did that.

Anya: Of course not. Your brother did.

Damian: WHY WOULD YOU MAKE MY BROTHER DO THAT?

Anya: fufu, in the wise words of the longest running Prime minister of Ostania, the Right Honourable Sir Donovan Desmond, "The key to success is humility. To know what you cannot do and surround yourself with those who can."

Students: *applauding in agreement*

Damian: don't quote my dad? And what does that have to do with anything?

Anya: tch, Is this your prime minister? I say we have a vote of no confidence!

Students: *cheering in agreement*

Anya: *goes on a vaguely communist tangent. Starts just speaking Russian at some point*

Damian: what the hell just happened?

Class: Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt Euch! Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt Euch! Proletarier aller Länder, vereinigt Euch!

Henderson: none of you are working class? You're literally calling for your own downfall...?