#What happened to the Bryan-guy I can't remember?

[frightenedcricket]

DECAY. PT 2: Bring back the pieces.

Noah Sebastian x OC. Angst+fluff.

Summary: Abby is trying to get back to her feet, but her lifestyle sometimes makes it difficult, even with Noah by her side. Part 1: The Fall.

Note: have you seen Normal People?! It altered my brain chemistry and I can't promise I didn't get inspiration from it. It's a long piece.

Warnings: talks about alcoholism; probably poorly written therapy sessions; talking about sex life and having problems with it, unhealthy habits, explicit; talking about S. A., IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, it's only reffered, nothing explicit.

Folio got up as soon as she appeared. Her eyes were puffy and her nose red.

"Hey"

"Hi"

Abby hugged him as soon as she reached him.

"Wow, are you okay?"

"It was hard"

She had been at her first A. A. meeting. Her therapist, had recommended to go to one as soon as she could. So Matt help her find one in the next cities.

Folio caressed her hair gently. "We have tacos for dinner" He said awkwardly.

"You are the best" Abby pulled back with a smile he quickly reciprocated. "Thank you for being here, Nick"

"Oh, we are besties"

She giggled. "We are"

One of the first things her therapist, Olivia, had told her was to find support. She had Noah, but Olivia had insisted. It wasn't just Noah. She couldn't put all her weight in just one person. Not when that person was the one she saw a future with. So she looked around and found that even when Noah was her biggest comfort, there was a bunch of idiots ready to help her when needed.

"Let's go. Dinner waits"

The worst part about recovery was having to do it on tour. Matt had insisted she could take time off. But in the end this was her life. This was what she had. She had tools and Olivia had told her what to do, how to start. So she tried to keep it all in mind.

"Guys" She said after an awkward silence. "You don't have to behave differently. Really. I'm fine"

"Are you sure? We are fine drinking just water." Bryan said. It was obvious they had talked about her. They all had the same responses and always talk in plurar.

"Really." She took a deep breath. "I want to live a normal life. I'm not some broken doll, okay. I'm not doing my best but... I'm working on it"

Noah moved his leg until it touched hers under the table. His warmth was so welcomed.

"I appreciate that you guys worry about me. I'm so happy to have you in my life. You are the best thing I have right now and... Yeah, I just want to go on with it"

"Okay, no special treatment" Noah said. He was proud of her. It hadn't been long, but for now she was doing so well.

"Oh so... Back on stage building duties then." Matt said smirking.

"Oh C'mon..." She groaned. "It's been years!"

They all laughed loudly.

"You were what? 19? And pretending to know what you were doing. OMG. You did that well, though"

"Remember when I hit the pedal and half drum set just boom! On the floor"

She was laughing and half hiding against Noah. It was years ago and they still love to bring that back.

It seemed to work. They slowly went back to normal. But as the days she started to find it more difficult.

"Here"

"Cookies"

Noah sat next to her in the sofa. "Yeah. Sweets. I have seen you"

Abby looked down and grabbed the bag. She really wanted a drink. It was a strange feeling. She wasn't thirsty or anything. But she kept thinking about it. She liked beer. She liked how it tasted and trying different kinds. But right now it wasn't about that. They were having the cheapest beers they found.

"It's weird" She muttered to Noah. "I just... Do you ever hate your brain?"

Noah put an arm around her shoulders.

"Kind of. I think I have that under bay now"

She sighed and nested into his side.

"I'm hating it so much right now. It's making me anxious."

Noah looked down at her. "Do you want to go somewhere or..."

"Uh no. It's fine. I would like one of those, that's all"

Noah grabbed her chin and made her look up.

"That's not gonna happen, Abby. Not if I'm here."

She bit her lip and moved his hand away. She couldn't look at him in the eyes. He was right and she knew it. Olivia had told her to avoid those situations in which she would usually drink. But she didn't want to.

"Let me walk you to the bus. You'll be better there. You can go to sleep or watch a show."

She gripped his clothes hard, as if he was going to push her away.

"No"

"Abby..."

"Listen, Noah. If I go there, I'll be alone. And I'll think. And I don't want to think because it... It's scary, Noah"

Noah nodded. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry" He muttered. But there was a weird taste on his mouth. It was that feeling again. If he wasn't there, would she be okay?

.......................................................................

"So, Abby. How is Noah?"

Abby felt the heat going up to her cheeks.

"Uh... Good. I think"

"How is it going? Your relationship"

"W-we are not together."

Abby was frowning, Olivia was full aware of this. Why was she asking?

"I know. But how do you feel about it?"

"Good"

"I need you to elaborate, Abby"

Oh god, I hate this.

"Hmm... I feel strange when I'm around him." She cleared his throat. "I love him... And we are closer than we were... But... I'm scared. It hasn't gone away. It's still there"

She felt the knot on her throat building. It was a common feeling recently.

"Okay... And what are you exactly scared of?"

"I'm not sure"

"Have you had any kind of intimacy with him?"

"No"

"Does it scare you?"

Abby looked down at the keyboard as his fingertip moved across the letters.

"Not sex. Sex doesn't scare me. It's more... The intimacy."

"Being alone with him?"

"Yeah"

"Have you been?"

"No"

"Why?"

"There is always someone around. It's difficult on tour"

"Okay. I understand." Olivia made a pause - quite dramatic if you asked Abby. "Does Noah know about anything we talk about?"

"A bit. Uh... I told them all about the meetings and how I would deal with the alcohol."

"We'll talk about the others in another moment, Abby. I need you to focus on Noah"

Abby pressed her lips together. She was getting tired.

"What do you want me to say? What should I tell him? That he was right? That I was treated like shit? Because of him?"

Olivia sighed.

"No, Abby. You are dealing with two issues right now..."

"I'm dealing with one and avoiding other"

Abby knew it wasn't right. She was just being a bitch. But she didn't want to talk about this. She wanted to be able to sit with her friends and not need a fucking drink.

"You are not avoiding anything. You have a problem with you sex life. You have unhealthy habits. Stopping having sex for a while is not avoiding it."

Abby ran her hands over her hair.

"You didn't have sex because you enjoyed. Right?"

"Right"

"Why did you?"

"Because... Because if I was with someone else I wasn't with Noah"

"And why didn't you want to be with Noah?"

She already knew why. She was only making her repeat it.

"Because if I never have him, I'll never loose him"

The first tear fell.

"But you have him now. Noah seems like a good guy. He understands the place you are in and he is willing to wait for you. He wants you to get better."

"How would help me sleeping with him?"

"It's not just sleeping with him. It's getting closer to him. You should start talking to him. You trust him. You rely on him."

Abby bit her lip. "If I tell him he may not want to be with me anymore. I did disgusting things"

Olivia smiled. There it was what she was looking for.

"How are you so sure?"

Abby went silent. She didn't have an answer for that.

"Abby, I want you to talk to Noah this week. Tell him something you feel comfortable enough. If you don't want to open up about your sex life just yet, wait. Start with something easy"

"There is nothing easy enough"

"I know. But some things are less difficult than others"

Abby dried her tears. "Okay. I'm sorry I snapped."

"It's fine. We are working on that"

"We are"

"Also... Try to not push help away. If anyone offers something you need, take it. Okay?"

"Okay"

"Have a nice week, Abby. And remember you can call me after the meeting"

"Yeah, thank you so much"

When Abby closed her laptop she thee herself forward and hid her face on her arms. She doesn't know for how long she stayed there but her throat was dry and her head hurt like shit. She had been crying.

How do I tell Noah?

Noah noticed a shift in her and it terrified him.

"Do you think Abby is behaving differently?" He asked Folio quietly one night. They were outside the bus waiting for the others to use the restroom.

"Um... No. Have you noticed something?"

Noah ran his fingers through his hair.

"She is different. But I don't know if it's only me. We-we talked and... We agreed to wait and all. I think we were doing fine and now she... I don't know. She has been been avoiding me."

"Avoiding you?"

Noah nodded.

"Maybe... I thought you may know something"

"No, man. I'm sorry. You know how she is..."

Noah hated that. He hated that Abby had to keep everything from them. She would never open up about any problem. She would aways say she was fine. If they wanted to start a relationship, she would need to stop that. Noah couldn't read minds.

"I thought we would get close but... It's almost the opposite"

"Noah... Maybe she needs time, she is going through a hard time"

"And she needs help. She can't just hide everything. It will only make everything worst, Nick"

"Just maybe..." Nick took a deep breath. "I'm horrible with this things, like the worst. But maybe you could try to do more couple things"

"We are not together"

"Yeah, but you swore eachother to wait until better times and confessed your undying love for each other"

"We- we did not, idiot" Noah pushed the drummer playfully. "We had a short conversation in a café."

"Well, same thing"

Noah saw movement from the corner of his eye. There she was. Abby always said she was lucky because whenever they stopped to use the bathroom and was their teeth, she was alone and didn't have to share with a bunch of guys. With her bag under her arm and dressed in a big hoodie she had probably stolen from the merch boxes, she walked to them. There was a smile on her face.

"Hey" She said softly. She had the hood on but her hair peeked out of it. She looked damn cute. "Why are you here? It's cold"

"I was telling Noah about a show"

"Is it horrible?" Abby asked Noah with a cheeky smile.

"No, no. He is right this time. Blue eye samurai"

"Oh! It has been on my list for months"

"Noah hasn't watch it either. I don't know what the hell you are waiting for"

Abby looked at Noah. He seemed tired. She knew he had been worried. She could see it in the way he always kept an eye on her. And she knew she had been avoiding him. It was on purpose. Again. But she was thinking. She was trying to come up with a way to tell him. Or to start telling him.

Abby didn't miss how Folio nudged Noah only a second before he spoke.

"Do you want to watch it?"

"I- uh... Now?"

"Well now or tomorrow. If you are tired..."

"I'd love to, Noah" Those words came from the bottom of her heart.

"Cool"

Twenty minutes later, Abby found herself bundled under a blanket and tucked comfortably next to Noah. They had one earplug each and the phone was on the table. The show was good, the graphics were insane. But any of them was thinking about that. Their mind were quite synchronised. It was all about how easy it fell, how comfortable was to lay together like that, how cute had that gasp being, how nice her hair smell, how soft his hand wast. It was quite difficult to concentrate. Even at some point, with a soft groan and not wanting to wake the others up, Noah moved.

"I'm going to lay" He whispered.

"Oh, are you tired. Let's go to-" She pouted, but the lights were off so he didn't catch it. She didn't want to go to her bunk just yet. The sofa wasn't the best place, but she was with Noah.

"Shh"

Noah maneuvered them around and Abby gasped. She felt she was falling, so she clinged into him the hardest she could.

"Noah!"

Long fingers covered her mouth and muffled the giggles. "You will wake them up" He whispered in her ear. "Trust me"

Soon, he had made both of them comfortable and Abby's heart was frantic. It was the first time they laid like this. It was a complete new feeling. Noah's body was completely pressed to her back, with his arms keeping her close and warm and hiding both bodies under the blanket. Her head had ended up on his arm, using it as a pillow until he would stop feeling his fingers. Abby couldn't breath properly for a few minutes. But Noah seemed to be okay. Perfectly okay. She had accepted his bold move hand was now holding his hand over her belly. What else could he ask for? It was more than enough now.

She fell asleep quicker than she thought and Noah pauses the episode and got rid of the earphones. Then he wrapped her in a tight and closed his eyes.

There were like a thousand pictures in the group chat next morning. The day had found them even closer. Abby was hidden on Noah's chest.

"Noah" She whispered. She was sweating, Noah felt like an oven. The blanket was thick and heavy. "Noah, sweetheart"

The singer opened his eyes slowly and moved his hand. "I can't feel it" His voice was so raspy... "Good morning"

"Good morning"

When his eyes finally focused, he looked down. She was so beautiful. Noah moved his hand to the side of her face, gently pushing the hair away.

"How are you?"

"Too hot"

"You are"

She blushed deeply, but couldn't contain the smile.

Noah leaned and pressed a soft kiss on her lips, gently trapping her lower lip with his and tilting her head back. It wasn't a deep kiss, but it was slow and passionate.

"No baby making in the couch"

The both jumped scared, Noah even had to grab Abby.

"Shit, Matt. Uh... Fuck"

Abby got up quickly, shoting the manager an embarrassed look before turning around to look at Noah.

"I... Uh... It was nice"

Noah chuckled. He was so amused.

"Thank you, a pleasure"

"I mean... Uh... Watching the show with you and all."

"Wow this is so awkward it hurts" Matt groaned. "We are leaving in twenty. We have a long day in the venue" Then, he left.

"Okay" She said and looked down embarrassed.

Noah reached to her and grabbed her hand.

"Abbs"

"Yeah"

"Listen... I liked it too. Maybe not here because it's really uncomfortable. But whenever you need me, I will spend the night with you. So you are not alone."

Abby nodded slowly.

"I'd like to talk to you, Noah"

"You can. We are talking now"

She felt that knot in her throat again.

"Not like this... More... Uh... My therapist said it was better if I started talking to you"

Noah's mouth fell open.

"I have been thinking about it for a few days... I kind of prepared myself. And I think I'm ready"

Had the night changed something? Maybe. Maybe Abby really wanted that warmth and comfort in her life.

Noah nodded slowly. "Whenever you want, just come to me" He got up and walked to her. Abby got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you"

The day passed slow. There wasn't a minute they could be alone. But it helped Noah to get his shit together.

"Hey" He found her after the show, when the guys were planning to go to a bar." I was thinking that maybe... Do you really feel like going to that bar?"

She took a deep breath. The idea of going out sounded truly awful today. It had been a long day and she knew how draining it would be. It had been particularly hard today and she wasn't sure way. The day had started so well...

"No" She said with a pout that made him smile.

"Do you wanna go down the street to that dinner we saw?"

Abby smiled so big Noah thought he would die. There was something so sweet and genuine in her reaction. He almost felt bad for believing she was avoiding him.

"Do I take that as a yes?"

She nodded and kissed his cheek.

They found themselves sitting in the corner of the bar, both on the same sofa only trying to be close enough. They were both reserved people and that place seemed the best. They were sharing pancakes and a waffle, having a light conversation. Until after a sip of her milkshake, Abby leaned back and took a deep breath.

"Noah"

"Mhm"

"Could we talk now?"

"Do you want to?"

"Yeah"

"Okay then"

She took a deep breath and turned her body to him. Then, she grabbed his hand and pulled it to her lap. He squeezed it.

"I don't know if you like what you are gonna hear, Noah"

He frowned.

"I have a stomach, Abby." Because life hadn't been nice to him either, he knew how fucked up things could get.

"I just... My therapist told me to take a step each time if I'm more comfortable that way. I just don't know what is better."

"You can be as slow as you want. Or if you are not ready..."

"I am. It's just not easy"

Noah leaned and kissed her cheek, making him look at her with a finger on her chin.

"I'm right here, okay?"

She nodded. She needed a minute to gather her thoughts and a napkin because she was already tearing a bit.

"Uh... This past months were truly awful. You already know. But... I did bad things"

Noah fixed his posture on the seat, suddenly getting uncomfortable.

"Bad things?"

"You can get angry. You really can. But just... Don't snap at me because I can't bear it. Be angry, stop talking to me, whatever. Just... Don't snap." How fair is to ask for this?

Noah swallowed. His hands were shaking now. He was starting to worry. All of those night she left...

"You were right" That's when her voice broke. Noah wanted to hug her, but the fear fo what he was about to hear was stronger. "That people... They hurt me"

Noah's blood drained from his face and his hand grabbed hers so hard.

"Abby"

"I-I was in a really bad place, Noah. I still am. I have this thoughts all the time. They eat me alive... I need you to understand that... It was my fault but... Not like entirely"

Noah was nauseous.

"Okay" He muttered. He hadn't even processed it all.

"When I left with that people... I was using it as a scape. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to be there. So the best thing I could do was leaving" She took a shaky breath. "And... I didn't want to be there either... So I drank. I drank to be numb. And I let them hurt me because I reached a point in which it stopped working and it was you there with me again and-"

"What? What are you saying?"

Noah straightened his back. Oh wow, he was dizzy now. He let go of her and put some distance between them.

"Abby, what does this... I don't understand" His voice sounded so desperate.

She whimpered and anxiously rubbed her hands on her trousers. This is why she didn't want to tell me.

"Noah, I'm in love with you. And I didn't want to be. I just couldn't stand being around you because of how I felt... And..."

"Why is it so bad?"

"It's not!" She snapped. "Fuck" She added in a whisper after realizing some people had turned to look at them.

Noah glared at them and soon they were all back to their business.

"It's not horrible" Abby ran her hands over her hair, pulling slightly in desperation. "I just... I made myself belive it was. Because... I love you, and the last times I loved someone they ended up leaving, I ended up hurt. And I thought that... I simply can't loose you because you are so much more than any of them were. You are my friend first, you are one of the closest friends I have. And I don't have too much, I can't loose one of the dearest ones. And... Being around you was... It was so suffocating because I could feel those feelings growing more and more"

"And that's the reason you drank yourself to oblivion and ended up in who knows who's bed?" It was kind of harsh and made her wince. It was so awful to hear it like that.

"Yes." She dried her tears but they kept falling. "I found that alcohol was a good way to... I don't know, shut down those thoughts. And then... It didn't work. And I started hooking up with people. But it was you again. I closed my eyes and it was you and not them. So... I needed a way to fully take my mind of and... Found people willing to do that..." She stopped for a second and looked down at her hands. "Pain helps. You just think of that... Of how that slap felt or how you can't breath and... I don't know... At the end I just wanted to feel like that... I felt numb"

Noah was leaning back on the couch. He felt weak and cold. It was as if all his worries had exploded on her face. They had hurt her.

"Abby..." He started, but his voice was shaky. "I need you to be a 100% sincere"

She looked into his eyes. His were glassy and her heart clenched. Was she hurting Noah by telling him this!

"Okay"

"You wanted that? Always? No one did anything you didn't ask for, right?" He didn't know how to word his thoughts because actually saying made it feel so real.

Her lips opened but words didn't come at first.

"I wasn't abused" She said. It was one of the things Olivia had ask first. "I wanted that. I asked for all of that. Because it was what I wanted to feel. But I ended up hurt in a different way. Marks disappeared in the end."

Noah let the breath he was keeping. "Oh fuck... I was so scared, Abby. I was always so scared something bad would happen to you... I... Fuck" He pulled her to his chest.

Abby gasped in surprise, not expecting this kind of reaction. Hadn't he heard everything else?

His hand moved to her cheek, cradling her closer to his chest and kissing her head.

"Noah... It doesn't end there" She muttered in tears, now sobbing on his chest.

"Just give me a minute. Give us a minute, Abby" He whispered. "I'll sit here and listen for hours if you want me to, just allow me this"

He needed a breath, he needed to keep her close. She nodded and moved her face to his neck, inhaling his perfume and closing her eyes. They stayed like that for more than a minute. Until, Noah pushed her softly and fixed her hair.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Can I continue? I need this out of my chest as soon as possible"

"Yeah, go on" This time, he kept his arm around her shoulders and allowed her to draw the lines of his right hand and arm tattoo.

"I'm not having sex now. I think it's obvious." She muttered. Abby had been with them every single day for a while. "I have only been around you guys and if I had to have sex with someone it would be you so..."

"I'm flattered" He whispered to light the mood. It made her smile a bit.

"The thing is... It's simply not working for me. Olivia offered a few... Activities... They don't work. I'm trying but... Uh... I can't even touch myself right now. They come back to my mind. I went to that people to scape and now I need a scape from that so... Probably the worst decision I made" She laughed with a tint of irony. "Olivia said I need to work on the damage those encounters left in me, mind is a huge thing during sex so... If my mind doesn't work..."

Noah nodded slowly.

"But... I want this with you, Noah." She looked down at his hand and threaded their fingers. "I'm truly working on it because I want it. I ended up having sex not because of pleasure, but because it was a hard way to stop thinking about you and my feelings."

Every time he heard those words, hurt like daggers on his chest.

"I don't want sex from you, Abby. If we don't have sex it's fine; if we do is fine too. I want you because of how happy you make me, I love being your friend and having you around."

Abby nodded.

"I actually want sex with you, idiot" She chuckled. "Have you seen yourself?"

"Oh, you are making me blush"

"But seriously, Noah. Maybe it takes a bit, or maybe not. I just want you to know how things are and... I'm still trying to find the triggers."

"As I said... I'm here, it doesn't need to happen now"

"Thank you..."

"Just tell me when you are feeling bad, if I'm too much... Whatever. Don't be scared to stop me. I will get angry if you don't"

Abby nodded and leaned against him. He welcomed her with a kiss on the forehead and a side hug.

"You thought of me when you were with them?"

She nodded.

"But those... I don't know how to say it... The ones who hurt you"

"Yeah"

"Not with those?"

"No"

"Why?"

"I suppose they were too harsh. It was fine at first, you know. I'm actually into some of that shit. But... In the end I think things mixed up and I pushed too far for me."

"Oh" He didn't know what else to say.

"Um... And... Well... If ever asked you to do something like that... Would you?"

Noah felt cold.

"I'm not sure" He said in a sigh. "Maybe after a talk?"

She nodded. "Okay"

Noah kissed her head once more.

"You can always talk yo me. Don't push me away. Don't hide from me. Please. I want this to work but it won't if we don't talk."

Abby nodded as tears came back. "You too, okay?"

"Yeah"

"There is one more thing"

Noah moved to look down at her eyes with a big frown.

"Hey now, you will get wrinkles in that pretty face" She eased the tension with her thumb and Noah's eyes softened. "It's good"

"It better be because I'm gonna end up ripping my hair"

"We should work on intimacy"

"Oh?"

"I'd like going out sometime, having time alone... Cuddling on the sofa was quite nice"

Noah smiled. She loved it so much.

"Of course. Did Olivia tell you that?"

"Yeah"

"Well, Folio told me that too. So our Folio gives therapist level advice"

Abby giggled.

"Surprisingly"

They stayed in silence for a bit, letting it all sink. More on Noah's side. It was very difficult to digest that information.

"Are you still scared of feeling things for me?"

"No... I think. I'm still scared of loosing you"

"Well, I'm scared of that too"

Noah grabbed made her look up and kissed her lips. It was their second kiss today.

"I'm gonna get used to that" She muttered on his mouth.

"You better do." He pinched her cheek and she squeaked. "Should we go back and watch episode 2?"

"I'm not sure I'm gonna last long"

"Well, do you think we fit in a bunk?"

"We won't know if we don't try"

"I like how you think"

She sighed.

"I don't"

"Ow... No sad faces, please. Enough for today"

She nodded and cupped his face.

"One last thing"

"Okay"

"Get help too. Ask your therapist, please. I don't want you to carry all the weight of this alone."

Noah nodded. "Okay, I will"

"It's for us" She muttered.

"For us"

Abby grabbed him by the back of his head and crashed their lips. Slow, deep and warm, she gave him one of the best kisses he had ever received. When Noah pulled back, he was actually blushing. Not flustered or turned on because of the intensity of it, he was blushing like a teenager getting kissed for the first time.

"I'm in love with you too" He simply added.

Pt3. Rock Bottom?

[integra1127grimmreaper]

You... (Dave York)

Dave York Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Prev

Warning: swearing

Summary: Pt2 of Isn't My Affair Anymore. When a case comes up at work, you realize that Dave had made major mistake with the last side-job. Inspired by - Ofra Haza's - You.

You were on walking on eggshells since the meeting with Resnik, the fear of Dave coming to take your life at any given moment a constant in the back of your mind. Even so, you weren't about to go out without a fight. You were just as lethal as he, all you needed was to be one step ahead of him.

You had just taken a seat behind your office desk when the phone rang, "Y/L/N...", you answer it.

"One of our operatives killed himself after killing his wife yesterday", your boss informs you. "I need you to pull up his file and sit in on an online meeting with Susan, Dave and the French authorities."

"Operative category?", you ask to know what records level to access, trying your best not to show any reaction to the mentioning of Dave.

"Category Zero", he answers, causing your brows to raise.

"That deep under?"

"Yup", your boss responds, "you have an hour to get everything prepared."

Hanging up the call, you get started with the assignment and that's when you're utterly shocked by the location of the incident.

"Brussels...?! No, no...", you shake your head in denial when remembering what Resnik had said about an upcoming job there. "This can't be happening... What the fuck have you done, Dave?"

Your eyes were tightly shut whilst taking in deep breaths and releasing it heavily in attempts to calm your nerves for the video call about to happen. You really weren't in the mood to interact with Dave at all but there really wasn't much of a choice for you, so you had to suck it up and do what needed to be done, your job. With that thought in mind, you exhaled one last nervous breath and muster the best professional look possible as the incoming call notification sound goes off.

"Hey, how's things going?", Susan image was the first to pop up on your computer screen.

"All's good", you flash her a bright smile, Susan always had a way of brightening even the darkest of moods. "How's thing your side and the family doing?"

"It's going good", Susan responds, "Bryan's got a new book out."

You were about to make a remark when the conversation was interrupted by the others joining the chat. Everyone respectively greets one another, and the meeting proceeds thereafter.

"This was fucking torture...!", your thoughts silently screamed at you whilst the meeting was in full swing. To the others he might seem to be paying full attention to what the French official was saying, but you knew Dave intimately enough to know his focus was very much on you.

The man had a way of staring deep within your soul without even blinking an eye and that was exactly what he was doing at this moment. You do your best to make as little eye contact with him as possible; your head kept downcast as you took notes whilst the French official spoke.

Ooh Late in life You came to me And you put a sign On me Late in life What of you When you fell into A trap of lies You (ooh) You (ooh) You (ooh) Only you (ooh) You (ooh) You (ooh) All your love That I love All your love

Ah

*

"Do you have questions?", the French official asks once all the details have been relayed, snapping you out from the inner turmoil that was your thoughts and you to Susan for direction.

"He did work for us...", Susan remarks. "And when something occurs to one of ours, the agency is obligated to look into it. So yes, you will be hearing from us, thank you. Keep it locked down till we get there, please."

"I can't find a file on this guy", Dave comments once the French official logged off. "When did he become one of ours?"

"I don't know. Upstairs kept him off the radar for some reason", Susan responds, looking to you then. "Y/N, do you have any information on him-", she pauses to look up from the computer screen, and you could hear Byran's voice.

"Oh, you look great... but what about a tie? You need a tie, Darling...", Susan remarks and a faint smile crosses your face at their loving relationship, but it immediately sours when Dave opens his mouth.

"Do what she says, Byran..."

Susan smirks at the remark, you roll your eyes; which he clearly notices. Finishing her interaction with Bryan, Susan turns her attention back toward the screen. "Where were we?"

"There is a file on him. It was a category zero, so it was on need-to-know basis only", you reply. "I'm sending the information to both of you as we speak."

"Good... thank you", Susan smiles in response and Dave merely nods in appreciation.

"Hope it will assist in your investigation... but I'm sure you'll being heading to Brussels to personally go over the scene", you flash her a faint smile, making sure not to look in Dave's direction.

"Yeah... I'm going to have to go over there and cross the T's...", Susan confirms your guess. "You guys wanna come?"

"Oh damn... and leave this shitty office...?", Dave sarcastically responds. "You know, Brussels has the best chocolates..."

Susan smirks at his remark, "mmm... we'll go and find out."

You cringe internally at the thought of being in close proximity to Dave. "As tempting as it is... I have a ton of paperwork to go through. You go ahead and enjoy the enjoy the chocolates."

"Pity", Susan frowns dishearteningly. "I'll make sure to bring you back some chocolates."

Smiling at Susan's kind-heartedness, you nod in response, "deal."

Susan logs offline first, leaving Dave and you to stare at each other for a few seconds, and just as he opens his mouth to speak, you hastily off as well. "Not today... you were not going to give him any opportunely to kill you."

Like a man Who the game As a healing For his pain You your game Again and again Crazy, insane Deep in love You (ooh) You (ooh) You (ooh) Only you (ooh) You (ooh) You (ooh) All your love That I love All your love Yeah... 

Nxt

[asturniolos]

you too - matt s.

chapter one (intro) ; mystery boy

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

in which;

living out of an apartment in the city, it's your second year of university and things are going smoothly. one morning, your best friend annie tells you about a new boy attending your university; matthew sturniolo. he's hot, smart, and exactly your type. you don't think much of it, but once you meet him yourself, you can't seem to get him out of your mind- or your bed- and neither can he. but how long can you keep matt's triplet brothers, chris and nick, from finding out?

warnings - none (for this chapter !)

6:45am

my eyes slowly open to the sunrise slightly peeking through my window and the sound of birds chirping as i roll over, tap 'snooze' on my alarm, and sigh when i see what time it is. i rub my eyes and try to fight the tiredness flooding my body. as much as i love being to able to study literature at my dream university, waking up this early for lectures sucks.

today is tuesday, meaning i have almost 2 hours with my least favourite professor; mr bryan. luckily, my best friend annie, short for annalise, is picking me up afterward for brunch at starbucks. i would drive us there but unlike me, annie got her license the second she turned 16. i tried to get my license three times but didn't pass once and am way too scared of failure to re-try it. we're both 19 now and she's basically been my personal Uber for the last few years.

i rub my eyes once more, pulling the sheets off my body and standing up. i instantly walk to my bathroom and splash a hand full of cold water onto my face to help wake me up.

as I start to brush my teeth, i decide the silence in my apartment needs to be broken with some music. i walk back into my room and grab my speaker off the top of my dresser as well as my phone, opening spotify and clicking shuffle play on my liked songs.

valentine by COIN starts playing as a smile is suddenly plastered on my face.

"perfect.", i whisper to myself, turning the volume up by a few and walking back to the bathroom.

~

7:42am

blue.. or pink?  i tilt my head at my reflection and struggle to decide which long-sleeve shirt to wear.

"y/n? you there?"

screw it. i'll just wear a hoodie.

"...y/n?"

"sorry! i'll meet you out front in 5.", i apologise, remembering i'm on facetime with annie.

"ok.. don't take too long, i have something to tell you. and it's literally freezing out here. love you!"

"bye! love you too, annie!", i exclaim, making a kissy face at the camera before hanging up. i place my phone in the back pocket of my jeans and pull my favourite grey hoodie down from my dresser, sliding it slowly over my head so i don't mess up my hair too much. i grab my airpods and a random lip gloss from my bedside table and stuff them in my bag with my macbook and textbooks. glancing in the mirror once more, i hear a honk outside followed by annie impatiently yelling my name. i quickly turn my speaker off and rush into the kitchen, snatching my apartment keys off the counter and walking out the door.

~

as i stumble down a few steps and almost drop my bag on the concrete, i finally reach annie's car. i pull open the passenger door and hear bodies by dominic fike blaring. i get in and throw my stuff in the backseat as annie quickly turns the volume down and turns to face me.

"you're not gonna believe what happened this morning." grinning from ear to ear, annie turns back to face the road and puts the car in drive.

"ooh what is it? has mr bryan finally retired?", i reply with a giggle.

"better."

"better? no way."

annie giggles too and continues driving.

"well? tell me!", i say.

"there's a new boy. and he is definitely your type."

i roll my eyes sarcastically and look away from her. she says my name and i look back at her with half-fake annoyance plastered on my face.

"annie, you know i don't want anything to do with guys right now after what happened with the last one."

"just pleaseeee trust me on this, y/n! seriously, he's so hot."

"that's what you said last time! and the time before that!", i smile at her effort to hook me up with this mystery-boy.

"no this one's different! he's cute, and funny, and genuinely smart. he's studying filmmaking!", annie says in an attempt at being convincing.

"ok ok, what's his name then?". i try to hide my slight intrigue when she mentions film making; i was originally going to study filmmaking but chose literature instead as i felt i had more of a passion for writing.

"matthew - well, matt. i don't think anyone really calls him matthew. i mean, besides his triplet brothers when they make fun of him.", annie giggles.

"triplet brothers?"

~

before reaching our university, we drove for another 15 minutes listening to music and talking about this 'matt' boy - who i was slowly getting more and more excited to meet..

note ⋆���˚

sorry this chapter is suuuper short, chapters 2-5 have already been written and are way longer- this one’s just kind of an intro to the series!

this is the first fic i’ve written since like 2020 so hopefully it’s not too terrible, trust it will be getting a lot better !! :)

[silvertws]

You know what? At this point I have more written posts than fanarts... I mean, I could post old ones, but idk if it would make sense you know? Anyway.

You may wonder, is this gonna be another Steve Saga or something post?

Oh no, I may be hyperfixated, but I still do love other fandoms, even if they are dead.

Speaking on dead fandoms.

Hi Origins Crew fandom :}

How are y'all doing? How's the feeling of never knowing what was supposed to happen to your favorite character in OoO, SNO,SAO...? Oh and the unfinished storylines in MHO? FTO? do we wanna talk about the cliffhanger in OZ? I mean, luckily some people posted videos about how the storyline was going to go, so at least we got that.

(to clarify, I'm not mad at anyone who was part of the Origins Crew DW, I could never)

Anyway.

Some backstory on how I started watching Origins.

It was summer of 2019 I think? Pretty sure at least, I know it was before I started highschool because I sucked at English before I started watching Origins.

Anyway.

First series was OoO S1 from Brandon's POV, at least that's the first video that got recommended to me, I'm unsure what episode it was, I can't remember if it was before or after the Aphrodite's ball (we don't talk about those, you guys know why. You know.) So I'm not sure if I even watched it all, but I think at the time I did go back to watch it from the first episode.

Anyway POVS right? With OoO S1 I watched Brandon (*cough cough* Brandeen), Jakey, Brian, Colin and some of Xylo.

And can I just say... IT'S BEEN 3 SEASONS, 3 SEASONS IT TOOK TO GET RID OF A FUCKING SWORD, A SWORD, COME ON. AND WHY THE FUCK, CAN SOME PEOPLE COME BACK TO LIFE, AND OTHERS CAN'T, WHAT PLOT ARMOR IS THIS- Istg that was probably the most annoying thing of them all, nothing against the creators, again I feel like I need to clarify! But it's just my personal dumb opinion that I hope nobody takes offense to???

Anyway.

I feel like I should make a post for every Origins Series I've watched, but idk if that would make sense lol TwT

Besides my personal preferences when it came to all the series, I am very grateful to the Origins Crew, they're the reason I'm here today, the reason I know English and they were the first group that really opened my eyes when it came to the LGBTQ+ community and helped me discover myself.

I know that from an outside point of view it might seem dumb, but I do owe a lot to them, all of them, even the ones who left a year before Origins dismantled, even the ones who joined just before people went their separate ways.

Because even if people might say that the storylines were dumb or maybe cliche (which, in some cases they definitely were) in the end, I still loved every moment of it, every episode every dumb character who didn't make any sense or that was weirdly overpowered (I REALLY want to specify which ones but I don't want the whole fandom to come at me, please, any fandom but this one) but to be fair they kinda all were in some way? Or at least had the potential to in my opinion.

I'm not good at keeping a conversation stick to one topic, I tend to sideline pretty often and I apologize for that. TwT

Also idk if it's just me, but when I find a group of people there's always that one that for some unknown reason I just like more and that one who I dislike, again, for no specific reason, just the vibes???

Like for Hermitcraft and Empires it's Pearl, for Fable it's Ulysses, (I love this fish boy with all my heart if anything happens to him I will cry) for Origins it was Colin and Brandon, don't ask why, I have no idea, I just did, still do consider them my favorites.

I kept watching content from the Origins creators after everything went down. Including the drama with some of the creators I suppose... (I still don't understand most of it)

From Devi Devi Academy/anarchy to Glitch generation, to My Hero Eternity, I watched some of the Fnaf content Bryan made just for the nostalgia.

Holy fuck how I miss these fuckers.

Like it was the whole dynamic they had in the group, the mini games videos in character were so entertaining to watch! Especially the crossovers, I tend to rewatch them from time to time even tho I know basically everything by memory at this point.

Honestly they really inspired me when it came to creating my own storylines, and roleplaying, some people may call it cringe, and I get it, but I still think it's fun.

It's been a year.

Well, more technically, but I didn't have Tumblr at the time of the anniversary I suppose? Can you even call it that?

The Origins fandom never felt too big, in my life I've only talked to one other person who knew about them, and it was pretty fun, we watched the uh.. second episode of my Hero Eternity together making theories and stuff, talking about my hero Origins and wondering which characters canonically knew that you know, mr "I killed both my bio parents" was actually alive. (Which from what we know, Flex knows, and I think Colin, not sure tho, because in the 3rd episode, when they were interrogating the hero, our edgy boy mentioned how he had an old "friend" who could get information and data really easily, and now, we all know Mario definitely wouldn't do that plus, did he even interact with the L.O.V.E. as a whole? I don't think so? So the only option that makes sense to me is Colin)

Anyway I drifted away from the concept once again because once I start talking I won't ever stop.

This is a long post, as usual, cause I write a lot when it comes to things I'm passionate about.

I'm very attached to Origins, all the characters, all the storylines, all the silly little things. And I'm never going to stop missing it I suppose? Not in a "omg how dare they break the group apart blabla blabla..." No, I'm just very nostalgic when it comes to it.

I owe everything to them, part of who I am today is because of them.

PS: if anybody wants to talk about this fandom I suppose, please do, please let's start a conversation. I have so many things to say.

Like you know in SNO when people didn't know Lucas and Brandon were SIBLINGS???? and they SHIPPED THEM??? yeah, hi it's me, I'm the problem it's me, HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU JUST DROP A BOMB LIKE THAT ON THE LAST EPISODE MAN, AND HOW DID I NOT EXPECT IT????? luckily for me, mine was very much platonic shipping, so uhhh yay??? Don't come for me guys, it was years ago, please ToT Also I did kinda Ship Lucas with uhh was it also called Jakey???? I don't remember anymore my friend will probably remember this because when the series was happening I'd just go on and ramble about the fact that I didn't know who I should have shipped with the angel boy.

Man shipping anyone in any of those series was HELL, LET ME TELL YOU, HELL. ABSOLUTE HELL, HOLY FUCK THIS IS WHY I DON'T SHIP CHARACTERS AT ALL.

Ok actual PS now:

Please, let's all sit and chat in front of a glass of tumbjuice/tomb juice??? (idk how to spell that, don't come for me) and not get cursed by anything while we do so.

Let's just vibeeeeeee :D

[pepsi-maxwell]

19 63 cmjf ?

ough, more cmjf summer camp with "everyone knows but them" (snippet under the cut, caveat i have zero experience with summer camps)

punk and max are counsellors at the same summer camp. max is great with the kids because he's an asshole but they find it funny. punk's busy trying to keep a whole camp full of kids alive, plus stop max getting into fights with some of the other counsellors

this would be a lot easier if people would stop asking awkward questions about why he keeps looking at max all the time

-

All the kids love Max.

Punk kinda gets it, in a weird way. There's less of an age difference between him and them than the rest of the counsellors, and his asshole comments come off as hilarious rather than obnoxious, often sending them into fits of giggles.

Plus, he's apparently the best at throwing them bodily into the lake. Punk watches as he tosses another one into the glittering blue water before kissing his bicep, the rest of them screaming with excitement.

“Why are you always staring at him?”

He jumps, not expecting one of them to creep up on him like that. “Jesus, Jack, warn a guy first, will you?”

Jack just looks up at him in that way kids do, like he's trying to figure out a really hard puzzle, and Punk feels a sudden sense of dread. A need to fend him off before he starts asking more questions.

“Anyway, why aren't you in the lake with the other kids, huh? You been climbing trees again?”

“No,” Jack says emphatically, but it's not helped by the leaves tangled up in his curly hair. Punk plucks one out and raises an eyebrow at him.

“I wasn't climbing trees, I was in the bushes with Luchasaurus. He can't swim,” he says, holding up his stuffed dinosaur like it explains everything. “And I saw you watching him, why are you looking at Max all the time?”

Too late. Fuck.

“Well, I want to make sure he's not doing anything too dangerous that's gonna hurt somebody, Jack.”

It's a little true. Not that Max has ever injured someone before; he's always been incredibly safe, but as he picks up Garcia by the ankle and wrist and launches him, sending him flying, it makes enough sense.

More sense than the real answer, which is that he doesn't really know.

“My sister says if you look at someone a lot it means you really, really like them.”

Bullshit she did, Punk thinks. His sister's been glaring daggers at Christian Cage for the past two summers they've been working together, and he's pretty sure she doesn't—

Although.

That would explain a number of things.

Not that he likes Max. He's… alright, he's annoying, but he doesn't like him, certainly not in the way that this kid is implying. Christ, why couldn't he have asked about the birds and the bees instead?

“What makes you think I like him?” he asks, trying not to sound vaguely panicked, but also he needs to know where people are getting that impression from, who else is going around thinking this.

“Well, you always sit next to him when we build a campfire—”

Well, that's just a coincidence. Everyone has to sit somewhere, and if he likes to keep an eye on Max in the dark to make sure he's not up to anything stupid, then that just benefits everyone—

“And you yelled at Bryan when Max's special meal wasn't there that one dinner—”

Okay, he didn't yell, and even if he did it was only because Max is a nightmare when he gets hangry and he didn't want to deal with him like that—

“And Darby said he saw you pulling his hair one night and then you started rolling around on the ground with him, and then Eddie told him to go back to bed, and Christian says if you pull someone's hair it means you like-like them—”

Well, that was…

That was a fight. That was just a dumb fight where they'd grappled each other over some inane bullshit he can't even remember. Nothing had even happened, but he makes a note to have the world's most uncomfortable talk with Kingston to find out what the fuck he saw and why he didn't think to fucking mention it—

“Christian Cage is a liar and a bad influence, so don't listen to him, alright?”

Max glances in their direction and must catch the look of absolute mortified desperation on Punk's face, because he makes a beeline over to them.

Punk tries to take his eyes off his calves as he runs, he really does. They're just so defined, he gets a little jealous is all.

“See?” Jack says, with all the conviction of a seven year old vindicated.

Punk wishes he could tell a seven year old to shut the fuck up.

“Hey, Jungle Jack, mind if I borrow Punky-boy for a second?” Max says, not even waiting for an answer before scooping a protesting Punk up over his shoulder into a fireman's carry. “Thanks buddy!”

“Max, what—put me the fuck down, you asshole,” he demands, watching Jack run back off into the bushes, uncaring. Little shit.

“Hmm. Nope,” he responds, breaking into a light jog. “Chuck wanted to see if I could throw you into the lake, and we gotta give the people what they want, now, don't we?”

Punk tries to kick his legs, wriggle free, but Max's arm is tight against his side, pressing his stomach into his shoulder, and then his hand shifts, grabbing his ass for a better hold—

Oh.

Punk feels his mental perspective shift, like he's been staring at an optical illusion for the last five hours and he's finally seen the vase, not the two people talking, but before he can fully process it, reality shifts as Max tosses him bodily out into the water.

The kids are still cheering by the time Punk surfaces, drenched to the bone, hair flat against his face, wiping the water from his eyes.

He glares up at Max as Max grins back down at him, and he thinks, no, he definitely doesn't like-like him.

[twilightofthe]

okay i put all my cranky thoughts into a separate post that's now drafted and it made me feel better so i'll be able to watch this episode now lol but if it gets me worked up again i'm posting the rant i'm sorry i cannot be helped or changed or saved <3

ANYWAY AHSOKA EP 2

also i forgot to say so last episode but kevin kiner my ABSOLUTE BELOVED the return of the king is real so happy to have you here my dude the ending and full theme was absolutely gorgeous

anywayyyyyy so i am guessing sabine did not make like satine and survived her shish kabobing

well there's ahsoka

oh yeah there's bean she's fine she'll be fine xD

damn filoni really gave more handwaving to having a character survive a major impalement vs me twisting myself into fucking knots writing anakin getting run through lmao

ahsoka sorry but actually i'm gonna blame u for this you still kinda seem like a mess and i don't think you were a very good teacher to sabine and now ur dropping back in on her when she's convenient to you?

well at least we know why she's so adamant against training baby yoda lol

ope here's goth girl and the fuuuuck is his NAME again i keep calling him fucking bryan

i like the fancy sithy-looking sundial tho

pfff second ep is "toil and trouble" guess we're getting witchy!

OH YEAH WAS SABINE'S KITTY OKAY

THEY BETTER BE OKAY

I SWEAR TO GOD

yea ahsoka what happened to showing up in the nick of time and saving kanan and ezra from inquisitors in rebels u were slowwww girlie

OK GOOD THE CAT IS OKAY

that's all that matters

ope one more droid hanging around ezra's place

GIRL UR SITTING UP ALREADY?!

GIRL HOW CAN U BREATHE

we do love the mechanic girl of my heart

sabine does love her explosions

no huyang hera just likes explosions

sabine works best under explosive pressure we LOVE HER

ope back to corellia i guess? we can reuse the old solo sets?

sabine

you were just

impaled

"but she's not the one who needs to hear it right now" ahhh there's the sabine and hera dialogue. ugh but i'm still not used to natasha and mary i can just hear tiya and vanessa doing it instead :(

WHY DO Y'ALL KEEP MAKING SABINE AND AHSOKA ANGRY EXES TF

"ancient ppl from a distant galaxy" waaaaaaait are they bringing in those eu dudes

no wait i think i remember something about these guys that was mention as the big bad in the canceled animated rebels sequel

or it could just be the chiss lmao

that could be it too, makes sense why they'd want thrawn

ok that is some real cool galactic map visuals i am an absolute sucker for a good starmap

ok but wait how the fuck did y'all get a map to thrawn anyway did the space whales write it

also sorry morgan but i don't personally think thrawn would go for u nothing personal you are hot but you don't quite seem his type

waaaait is fucking thrawn gonna have force sensitivity now THAT would be absolutely hilarious and he'd hate it so much

who's marrok i have no memory

y'all you can't just make thrawn work for you didn't he only work with the empire cuz he had to because it would advantage his people somehow (has read zero thrawn novels and only seen rebels)

please tell me sabine is in the fucking vents of ahsoka's ship

THERE'S THE GHOST WHERE IS CHOPPER

I AM NO LONGER FUCKING ASKING

okay so i think my issue with Mary is she doesn't have any of the same authority and purpose Hera's meant to hav

CHOPPER

CHOPPER

MY MURDERBOT

MY SON

MY ANGEL MY EVERYTHING

Anyway

yeah

oh yeah harping in that the new republic is a total fustercluck

ew a capitalist

bro you know hera used to steal from people like you for the rebellion

sdlkfjsdk omg sabine's mom needs to talk to the teacher to keep her from getting expelled

but also y'all sabine is like 25-30 right now she's not a kid

@ ahsoka bitch you have no fuckin clue what you're doing doooon't talk about readiness

y'know maybe the imperial era just advanced medicine so later impalements don't kill people

oh oh so it IS ezra's!

sabine go find luke he'd love to have you

STOP WITH THE GAY DIALOGUE

ok so yeah she likely doesn't have force sensitvity

goddammit huyang neverMIND

so sabine IS force sensitive :) and kanan and ezra just never brought it up :) great :)

hera my beautiful ship nerd ily

bitch do NOT fuck with hera she has more presence than anyone ever

hera my dude you know better than anyone that if a ship wants to take off you gotta go try and stop it in person

ah i have been waiting like 5 long years to watch hera best pilot there was kick aerial ass

we STAN

chopperrrrrrrrr

oh yeah ahsoka's fighting an inquisitor too lmao

CHOPPER GET THEIR ASS

CHOPPER ADD TO YOUR KILL COUNT

ok this hera and chopper banter is perfect i do love it

VICTORY FOR MY GHOSTS

oh and good job ahsoka lol

aghhh sabine and her therapy cat i'm ;_;

theeeeere's sabine's mando armor

SABINE AND KANAN'S FUCKIN KNIFE I'M GONNA EVEN IGNORE THE BAD MULAN HACKJOB ATTEMPT

okay it seems like mary's kinda on and off for hera so far, she has her moments but she can't hold them

rosario keeps losing me i'm sorryyyyyyyy

natasha is doing GREAT

aaaaaand we redoing the end of the rebels epilogue!

god this makes me miss zeb

and kanan obvs but i've come to accept his death

zeb's still hanging around where is he!!!!!

ah all is right

sabine has her gay haircut back

here we go gay roadtrip to find ezra time

alright so i'm still not really vibing with jedi!sabine at All but i have concluded that this show is watchable but honestly not that good, writing-wise, sorry dave, so i think i'll be able to watch it with my brain turned off

goddammit first i thought the holograms visiting morgan were nightsister witch ghosts xD

RIGHT RIGHT HIS NAME IS BAYLAN NOT BRYAN

morgan stop simping for thrawn i guaranTEE he's not your type

oKAY

we are through with the two episodes! it is very late for me so i'm gonna sit and think on what i've seen so far and shitpost a little. i did really like seeing my rebels blorbos again even if the live action actors don't quite have their groove yet. obviously very excited to retrieve ezra <3 so yeah that was that and i'll be back for more next week!

[tatsueigo]

You can't see love, you can feel it

Fandom: All Elite Wrestling

Pairing: Jon Moxley/Wheeler Yuta

Rating: G

Warnings: none

Prompt: @wrestleprompts Week 2: "It was you the whole time"

Wordcount: 2154 words

AN: Sorry for being late, but the week has been bad and I wasn't able to finish it sooner.

It's a 5+1 fic, 5 times in which Jon does something gentle for Wheeler and the latter thinking it was one of the others. The one time Wheeler finally understood it had been Jon the whole time.

AO3 link: You can't see love, you can feel it

-------------

Lately strange things had been happening to Wheeler. The very first time he noticed something strange, was as he got back to the Best Friends' locker room after his match against Bryan Danielson. The second time instead, he had been in Blackpool Combat Club since ten days, but he still wasn't accustomed to the change of pace in the trainings. The third time he had rested because of a headache, the fourth time it had been before he had departed to fly to Japan. The last time instead, he had been down with the flu.

"Guys, do you think someone sneaked in here? You all were ringside for my match, so how is it possible that there is an ice pack on my bag?"

Wheeler reached a hand to move it and hopefully find a clue on who it may have been, but he found nothing. He glanced over at his stablemates, but neither of them seemed to know anything about that. It was really strange, but he still decided to apply it to his right shoulder, getting help from Chuck to wrap it around, so it would stay in place. He stood up, determined to go to catering to take something to eat, like a protein bar or something like that. It didn't matter to him that he was still half naked and sweaty, he had to wait at least twenty minutes before he could take the ice pack off.

Jon Moxley, the actual guy who had done that sweet gesture, looked amazed at the black haired guy, as soon as he got to catering. He seemed so interesting to his eyes, wrestling and personal wise. That was the reason he had agreed on by wanting someone like him in their stable and everything seemed to be going according to their plans.

"Jon, come on! Don't stay there, looking int-" Bryan had finally found him: they were about to go back to the hotel, since he had showered and Jon himself wasn't set to have a match or promo.

"Hush, Bry. You and Lordship can go ahead, I'll stay here a bit longer." Jon didn't leave him the time to finish his sentence, without averting his gaze from Wheeler.

"What or who is so important that you want to stay here, mh?" The American Dragon followed his gaze, finally recognizing the wrestler he had just won against and soon-to-be protegè. "Oh... Wait, did you leave him the ice pack? You are suddenly so soft, Jon." Bryan teased him, giggling.

"Fuck you, Bry, it wasn't me." Even by denying, there was a hint of a blush on his cheeks.

"And... you are blushing." The giggle became even more, making Jon only more irritated than he already was.

"You stop it, Bry, or else..." Jon flipped him off, hissing at the mocking.

2. "Lordship, can I have some suggestions over teas I could prepare for our young boy?" Jon scratched the back of his head: Wheeler had been with them for ten days now, sometimes all three of them would put him through so much hard training that the 25 years old would just crash in bed and rest a bit. Their training was definitely harder than Best Friends' and it was clear he still wasn't accustomed to it.

"He normally drinks fruit tea, I have bought him some Cherry Blossom tea, you could try to make him that one. It should remember him of Japan, so he should like it." William looked at him baffled: ever since that boy had entered their stable, Jon had been very considerate of him. It was quite remarkable how much he cared about young Wheeler.

Jon nodded and thanked him, before going to the kitchen and prepare the tea, which he easily found in Regal's collection. The old man probably had the hugest tea collection in the whole world and he could probably go to the Guinnes World Record. When it was ready, he went upstairs with it, entering Wheeler's room silently and left it on the nightstand. Wheeler would surely never think it was him, it was more likely he would thank William for it.

Wheeler woke up not too long after, the smell of Cherry Blossoms invading his nostrils. Still half asleep, he turned his head and noticed a cup of tea. This time too, no note whatsoever, but given how much William liked tea, he was almost sure it had been him. He took the cup in his hands, gulping down some of the beverage, humming happily. He had taken the right choice by asking to enter that stable: he felt really at home there, they were mean with him during training, but it was for his own sake and to forge him into a better wrestler.

Drinking the tea woke him up a bit more, so that he decided to stand up and reach the others downstairs. In the kitchen he first noticed their Lordship, who was busy cutting some vegetables.

"Thank you for the tea, Lordship." Wheeler mumbled, sitting at the kitchen aisle.

"You are welcome Sunshine." William smiled and covered Jon, who surely had an explanation as to why it had to seem like wasn't him.

3. "Guys, I'm going to lay down in my room for a bit. My head is aching way too much right now. Can any of you wake me up for training, should I be late?" Wheeler hated the headaches he sometimes got, but the best he could do was lay in bed and rest. Still, he didn't want to miss training, even if he maybe should.

"Go rest for a bit, sunshine, I'll make sure to have one of them call you in that case."

Jon perked his head up as he heard those words; it was strange, but from the very first match they had, he waqs feeling kinda strange towards Wheeler. Jon was slowly feeling more and more attracted by him and he always felt the urge to do something for him. Jon stood up from his chair, searching in the meds cabinet for some pain meds. He grinned when he found some Tylenol, which would hopefully help the young boy out. He waited at least ten minutes before he got upstairs, Tylenol in one hand, a glass of water in the other. Only after making sure Wheeler was sound asleep, he silently entered the room and left everything on the nightstand. He slightly caressed his black hair for some seconds, before going to the door. Once there, he stopped, murmuring quietly.

"Sleep tight, young boy."

Wheeler opened his eyes after one hour, had to blink many times to focus on what was on his nightstand. A little smile appeared on his lips, as he thought it might have been Claudio. The Swiss had joined them not long before and had directly taken him under his wings. The newcomer was always so gentle and caring after all. After taking the meds he joined his stablemates in the living room, sitting next to Claudio.

"Thank you for leaving me the Tylenol, Claudio."

"You are welcome Yoots, hope it helps." Claudio shot a glare at Jon, who had previously disappeared and now seemed relieved, but recieved only a shrug in exchange.

4. It was about time: Wheeler would fly to Japan the following day to stay there almost one month to take part in the Best of Super Junior Tournament. For as much as Jon was proud of their youngest member, he already knew he would miss him. He had seen him leaving his backpack in the kitchen and go to sleep, so he hadn't waisted time to find some vegetables in the fridge - no, actually veggie's snacks Bryan probably still didn't finish - he smirked taking like five of them, which he put in Wheeler's backpack, before going to sleep too.

Wheeler didn't notice anything strange until he was at the airport, waiting to catch his flight, while searching for his kindle. He smiled as he noticed the snacks and gasped, sending a message to Bryan.

-Thank you for the healthy veggie snacks, Dragon! - He just loved how considerate his teammates were of him. In Blackpool Combat Club everything was so different...

-Gotta be sure you have enough for the travel, Wheeler. - Bryan grinned towards Jon: would he really still deny it was him? Did he really think they would never understand?

"Shut up Bry, whatever you are thinking, it's a no." Jon growled at him.

"You'll admit it one day, Jon."

5. If there was something Wheeler hated, was being sick. Being sick during Sakura blossom season was even worse for him.

"We are about to go, Sunshine. Should you need something, don't hesitate on calling me. Take this Tylenol and make sure you rest plenty."

William, as well as the others, was a bit concerned, but they weren't plannin on staying out too much. While out, they took some groceries, together with more meds for young Wheeler. Jon avoided entering the supermarket, since he didn't like to stay in small crowded places. He waited outside, pacing around a bit, until he noticed a particular tree which had probably blossomed the day before. He found some branches on the floor, which he took and carefully put in the bag he had with him, with the hope they wouldn't break.

As they finally got back home, Jon disappeared upstairs, ready to leave the branches on Wheeler's cushion, next to his head. After doing that, he left him a kiss on the hot forehead. This time he hid behind the almost closed door, peeking in, curious. The young boy - his young boy - seemed to be able to sleep peacefully and that kinda relieved Jon. Jon who was still feeling the urgeof laying there with him, hold him in his arms and just cuddle. He had never felt like that with anyone else before and he wasn't even sure what to do about it.

It didn't take much time before there was some movement from Wheeler, who slowly woke back up, looking confused. When he crashed into bed he was sure there weren't branches of any type over his cushion. He took one of them and nuzzled it, inhaling the scent of cherry coming from it. He smiled happily, the smell calming him fully down. Wheeler's thoughts went to Bryan, who was good at gardening: maybe it had been him?

+1 It was movie night in the BCC house: Wheeler was sitting between Jon and Bryan, while Claudio and William were sitting on individual sofas.

They had settled to watching an action movie, leaving some comments here and there. Wheeler looked at his Lordship and his stablemates, deciding to test something; he wanted to see if he could find out who had been leaving him all those things in the past, who was so caring of him. He wasn't sure it had really been each of them, maybe it had been just one the whole time.

Given that Claudio had joined them way after the first episode happened, it was most unlikely it was him. During the movie he settled himself as comfortably as he could, letting his head fall on Jon's shoulder, snoring slightly after a bit. He wasn't really asleep, he just wanted to test and see who of them would bring him upstairs to his bed. The others all looked at him as they heard the first snore, smiles on all their lips. They had had hard training sessions that day, so it was no wonder that their youngest member had fallen asleep. The end of the movie wasn't that far away, so before worrying about who would bring him to bed, they watched it to the end, at a low volume to not wake him up.

"Who should bring him upstairs?" Asked Claudio as he stood up and stretched.

"I can do it. Good night y'all."

Jon decided to ignore all the gazes he could feel on his back as he stood up, Wheeler bridal style in his arms and got upstairs. He was so focused on not tripping on the stairs, that he didn't notice the grin Wheeler had. Laying him down, Jon ruffled his hair and only when he was about to go, Wheeler opened his eyes and stopped him by grabbing his right hand.

"So it was you all this time, Jon?" Wheeler wasn't angry, he just wanted the truth. He would be more than happy if he was right.

"I..." Jon blushed a bit, not able to keep the secret anymore. "Yes, it was me all along. I started growing interest on you from the first match we had against each other." He admitted, sitting next to him.

"You did a great job to hide it, I wouldn't have expected it was you and I am positively surprised. Thank you for taking always so much care of me, Jon."

[mlobsters]

supernatural s6e16 ...and then there were none (w. brett matthews)

again thinking gosh she looks like victoria pedretti (well maybe not with this slightly manic look but, i think it's the lips/teeth). and this dude like knockoff bryan cranston.

victoria pedretti (also an excuse to look at that lovely face) & eve

i like how they (the Show) dodge talking about jesus

not-bryan-cranston & bryan cranston

LOL bobby in the field! what is happening

bobby looks so much better with his natural hairline instead of whatever they do to him sometimes. i thought it was a hair piece but i'm wondering now if it's just like, filler/makeup

back with his rufus, "just like old times"

cute how they can gang up on bobby with rufus to tease him

i really didn't think dean would actually kill him next time he saw grandpa skinner. also it's a little xfiles reunion! mr x and skinner. totally don't remember why dean's mad at grandpa, another reason i take forever to watch one episode. oh right, sold them out to crowley/almost got them killed

DEAN I said I'd kill him!

SAM Look, just a second.

RUFUS I take it you know each other.

DEAN He's our grandfather.

RUFUS Oh. Somebody needs a hug.

i mean, perpetually, they all do. also, did you SEE that awkward ass hug bobby gave sam after he got his soul back?

s6e12: merging into one person hug / *pat pat*

BOBBY So...you're Samuel.

SAMUEL You must be the guy pretending to be their father.

BOBBY Well, somebody ought to.

SAM We're gonna find him alive, Samuel, or I'm gonna put a bullet into your head.

🥰

*insert leverage-style cheesy heist music*

DEAN It's like a Khan worm on steroids.

that wrath of khan ear bug worm thing FREAKED ME OUT as a kid

DEAN Worm crawls in you, worm crawls out.

RUFUS Monster possession? That's novel.

i like all the sassy one liners they're giving rufus

RUFUS Second date. Oh, yeah, we're goo positive.

DEAN What does that mean? What does that mean?

dean glaring at grandpa, made me laugh

i am confused to how exactly there was time to set up these traps in this... factory or whatever they're in

SAM I mean, I just can't help but think... what would Mom say?

really? that's what you think, sam?

LOL so i thought maybe they were gonna force sam to deal with the moral dilemma of killing grandpa when not actively ear wormed but i guess not. just a brief contemplation before whew worm actually still intact

do they not have a taser or stun gun they could use instead of an exposed wire? -_- oh no. not rufus! :( this is like ellen and jo all over again, should have seen it coming a mile away

SAM Why do you keep talking about herpes?

DEAN What? I don't. Shut up. Shut up.

i have no idea

i know they gotta have new big bads but this eve thing with the monsters taking over, didn't we just do this with demons 🥴

DEAN I mean at the end of the day, you two are family. Life's short, and ours are shorter than most. We're gonna spend it wringing our hands? Something's gonna get us eventually, and when my guts get ripped out, just so you two know, we're good. Blanket apology for all the crap that anybody's done all the way around.

SAM Some of us pulled a lot of crap, Dean.

DEAN Well, clean slate.

SAM Okay.

sometimes feel weird how often they position sam as the one that always fucks up and needs absolution. but also this is about sam forgiving himself, right

so much for the xfiles reunion,

[meanwhileinstasiville]

I'm wearing a skirt and a lacey green top.

Today's theme. When I was journaling this (Happy birthday, Bryan) the heading was "I can trap better than all y'all".

And you have to dress for your body; green brings out the color in my hazel eyes. The skirt, while DPRK green and *not* my first choice, complements the top well without contrasting with it. Color or texture. As I'm out of shape, I lack the bubble butt that always brought the Israeli women to the yard. The men though, I still have trouble with the men. Sexually confused, searching for acceptance, predatory homosexual; all of the above.

My hips are wider than my waist, deal with it. I'm not gay and I don't want men. But that doesn't stop them.

Oh, so you thought dressing like a girl would get all the good stuff women seem to have? Do you have scars? Do you have a flaw or a stretch mark, or even a blemish? Are you scrutinizing your *entire body* before the whole world gets to (and they will)? Did you remember to walk slow as to not ruin your clothes? Are you "showing someone something" because you forgot to close your legs?

Are you sanding and moisturizing your skin? You are??? Congratulations, you are now a sex object. Sex does not work like it does "for girls" don't let gay men convince you of that (biology, *not opinion*)

433-FWF drives by. Huh. Ok, let's do that while we're here. Aberrant admirers as people like Rene or Janneke have long had. Was there a "GUJ" license plate attached to a threat, at the city(hall) corner? There was. Was someone blaring Led Zeppelin the *second I stepped to that corner* from plaza gang space? There was. Was it, "hey hey mama...gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting" *it definitely was*.

Do I want men, nope. Aberrant "admirer" who thinks I'm heroin to make someone feel good all the time. Which is what "the hot chicks" think Abby Sciutto, experience *all the time*.

(a bucket of their blood? the skin off their back? What they want is not friendship and definitely not relationship *phil lee expy walks by* saying "sitting on the couch with their legs spread")

AND as with Rene who I met officially at the coop and not in passing, and also Janneke, the aberrant admirers come in classes that "low okcupid match percentage" won't ward off, because it can't; these are empowered people (*ahem* little emperors like sons of drug kingpins and even royalty) who care *only about power and success*. And so, if they *aren't* the FBI/CIA/Marine corps, then they can probably order it around, or at worst blow it up. There's no pleasing them, even if they were capable of functional adult relationships.

My gay fanclub, ladies and gentlemen.

(A couple of wild and crazy norwegian guys, someone thought would net Janneke. So now, I've had my *own version* of ryan's scheming from his one time roommate, and for more than ten years)

While writing this, app facebook suggested a friend who appears to have married a mexican. Unremarkable save for whose friend she happens to be. Like her other friend who appeared to have done the same, from the comic book business. I guess "everybody" is doing it, right *friends of a one-time fixture on the international raver circuit*?

(No offense to Rene, who turned out to be a little Colombian or maybe a lot; another classy as hell lady)

Addendum there was ALSO the gay (someone told me) chess hustler stalker, "randi" at the cemetery earlier about the second it came into view. For "made it look like..." snk amusement ongoing. Not the randy from the family that I knew, she's from church founding family, along with the presbyterian Parkers.

[chicxgomade]

You never pay too much attention to it, that's why it always works. If you think about it, if it wasn't for Vince, I would have no been kicked out of RAW's backstage, so yeah he's a really bad guy! It's rare that women have feuds without championships involved though lately it's happening quite oftenly, between Becky vs Trish, Becky vs Pam, maybe there are also others I can't remember right now. I CAN'T TAKE IT BACK! NOW IT'LL BE PART OF YOU FOREVER! Yeah it's such a shame, I agree Sarona deserves a lot more, she's such a professional, and also she's always been one of my favorite people. No matter what he says, I bet my ass he watches other promotions, so he probably watched you and he's probably regretting everything. Or maybe he's too full of himself to admit that he treated you like shit, I don't know. I still wonder how you pulled that off to be honest. Did Lacey Evans give you advice on how to act in front of a silent crowd? GIMME SOME TIME CEO, I'LL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT! 😂I'll tell you the reason in person, gonna keep the hype up! What reasons could have led the great Bryan Alvarez to hate CM Punk? Find out, on the next episode of the Dumb Side of the Ring! YOU'LL BE FINEEEE! TRUST ME! I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOUR KNEE WILL BE OKAY! YOU'LL GET YOUR ENTERTAINEMENT ANYWAY! How many days until the trip? 3? Well then, I'll convince you in 2. You'll see, it will be so fun! I can already hear the people screaming in fear, WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE TWO IDIOTS DOING or stuff like that. Yeah don't worry, I've put some extra training in recent months not because of my return in the ring, but because I knew this moment would come. Giving you a piggy back ride has always been my main goal in life. DO I GET PAID OR NOT????????? The outfit didn't get enough time... for now. Who tells you that you won't have the chance to show it off once again? I haven't watched a single episode so I sadly can't come up with one of my smartass jokes about it. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I have never felt the need. I haven't even rewatched my episodes of Mayans MC or Heels! Well, consider yourself lucky my friend because I am here to teach you everything about hockey! Especially now that you have more free time right? I'll turn you into an expert in no time as well! I need Hockey nerds in my life. But I hope you won't become a Blackhawks hater, don't wanna create a monster.

14 minutes of pure adrenaline. I missed this. But whoever started the Pepsi Sucks chants, I'm coming for you.

[reason-plans-serendipity]

Wait, is Nathan Miller x Jackson a thing now? Where can I sign up?

[jockpoetry]

i would absolutely love to hear you predictions for full gear tomorrow!! 🤠

Okay I wanted to wait until after Rampage to fully cement my picks BUT here we go:

Hikaru Shida and Thunder Rosa vs. Jamie Hayter and Nyla Rose

I think Hayter is on a streak right now and I love Nyla, but this is the buy in and you have the super over baby faces win. I think you can tease a Shida v Deeb III here if you want and you can really in earnest start to build the program where Rosa can take the belt off Britt with this match too. I also think this match is going to fuck tremendously and I can't wait to watch it.

Bryan Danielson vs. Miro

Here's the thing, I think this ppv card is so interwoven with one another that it is incredibly difficult to separate some of these matches from others. This is one of those but I think if Page wins you have Miro win. I don't necessarily know if Danielson v Page will be the right kind of matchup for your super over newly anointed babyface champion to go up against a super over undefeated babyface (not that I think Bryan is a baby face but that's a different post) challenger. I think Miro v Page will be a good first program to tell the story of Page coming into his own as champion and gaining confidence and you can spiral Miro's descent into fanatical religious madness further off of a loss.

The Inner Circle (Chris Jericho, Jake Hager, Sammy Guevara, Santana and Ortiz) vs. Men of the Year (Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky) and American Top Team (Junior dos Santos, Andrei Arlovski, and Dan Lambert)

I think this is arguably the easiest result to pick of the card. 1) Because Jericho programs are always the same he loses adn loses and loses and then wins and moves on without looking back, and 2) because in the go home angle the put out that Lambert was pinning Chris and I think that's going to be how they lose. Men of the Year will have put the Inner Circle away and tag Lambert in for the pin and some jazz hands nonsense will happen from Jericho and the IC will win it. It's also going to be the worst match of the card.

Darby Allin vs. MJF

I don't feel confident with this pick but I think you can do more with an MJF win than you can with a Darby win especially if you want to build to MJF v Punk (which I think they do seeing as they had teased Punk v Wardlow being on this ppv at one point). I think you have MJF win this, and can start setting up the Punk program. I feel like Darby is just kind of adrift right now, he hasn't really done much on TV lately, so maybe you can take the loss to kind of reconfigure what he's doing/set up a plan for him. I think there's more for MJF to do with a win than Allin is essentially why I am picking him. I don't really have any investment in this match though.

CM Punk vs. Eddie Kingston

Eddie Kingston should win this match. I know people think that Eddie is turning heel but I think those plans changed when everything with Mox went down. I think they're going to swerve us and this is clear start of a Punk heel turn (although I think the seeds of him turning heel have been being planted since his first promo but that's also another post). I also think Punk and Danielson both getting their first losses in AEW out of the way on the same show would be nice. Rip those band aids off they've been here a couple of months now let's start playing with the big boys. But they're intentionally referencing Cena v Punk and Eddie being as over as he is, with all the positive press he's gotten, with everything Mox, you keep Eddie face and put him over huge here. He's AEW, he was never WWE like Punk, and AEW puts their guy over huge.

Christian Cage and Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy and Luchasaurus) vs. Superkliq (Adam Cole and The Young Bucks)

Remember the point I made about interwoven matches? This is one of them. I think that if Page wins the Superkliq win, plus on Rampage tonight the baby faces stood tall and there's easier talent to pin on the JurassiCage Express than on the Kilq's side. You can pin a Christian or a Luchasaurus or even use the Bob Fish beat down to protect JB. I think the Kliq are winning because I think Hangman Page is winning and I think that the Elite Split is coming.

Cody Rhodes and Pac vs. Andrade El Idolo and Malakai Black

I don't really have much of a reason for this except that Cody will want to win and so he probably will. I don't really care much about this match either, it was originally supposed to be a 4-way match and I would've liked that a lot more. I also know that Malakai gave an interview where he said in the coming weeks his character would be changing. Maybe that change is fueled by a win, but I think the change could also be fueled by a loss too. I don't know, this one is a toss up and frankly I don't want to see Pac lose so that's why I've picked Cody/Pac.

Lucha Brothers (Penta El Zero Miedo and Rey Fénix) © vs. FTR (Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood)

What a shit run the Lucha Brothers would have if they don't retain here. You cannot take the belts off of them this soon after they won them. Plus both teams are heading off to do stuff in AAA/they have a match at Triplemania so I think LB retain here, and then in their AAA match it can be a winner takes all deal. But keep championships on both teams, and keep the AEW tag titles strong by not hotshotting them off an incredible team.

Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. © vs. Tay Conti

They've put Tay over hard in all the promo material which is why I am almost certain she's not winning here. I think that she's grown tremendously as a wrestler but I think Britt is still where the people are at and I think Britt v Rosa for the title is still where the Big Big Money is at. So I think Britt retention is a pretty much sure thing.

Kenny Omega © vs. "Hangman" Adam Page

Okay here me out: Hangman is winning. I know this, you know this, everyone knows this.

But. See the thing is that I've worked myself into a shoot, brother. All the comparisons to Kenny v Okada and Kenny v Ibushi have gotten stuck in my craw and here's why: Kenny is a loser. He's never beaten Kota and while he won the rubber match against Okada (their respective records being: 2-1-1 & 1-2-1) Kenny isn't a winner like he keeps trying to tell everyone. He's a fantastic wrestler, but he goes over huge in defeat.

And in this dynamic Hangman is Kenny. Whether that's the Kenny to Kenny's Ibushi or Okada Hangman is Kenny. I think that if Kenny retains here Danielson wins v Miro and the Superkliq lose v JurassiCage Express. I think that it is a domino effect of matches. I think you risk losing some of the heat and faith in fans if Page doesn't win here, but I also think that AEW is good. Great even. At putting people over in defeat and if anyone knows how to do that it's Kenny. If Hangman is the Kenny to Kenny's anything?

He loses tonight.

But the thing is Hangman is his own person, and makes his own choices, and is NOT Kenny. Which is why I did all my other predictions on the basis Hangman wins. He should, I think he will but I just....

I have this nagging feeling, that I gave to myself, that... maybe, just maybe, Kenny retains.

[littleliv1]

I Was Born To Love You- Ben Hardy fanfic- Part Three

Hello, loves! Loving the feed back in getting on this series! It’s for sure a long one, but I hope you guys are enjoying it!

Summary: Leah and the crew flew to London to film the Live Aid performance. She opens up to Brian about her life.

Warnings: sadness, death, angst

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Soon enough, Monday rolled around. It was 4 am. I grabbed my packed bags, pretty much filled with half my wardrobe and all of the make up and face/hair products I could take on the plane. I grabbed my passport, keys, purse, and phone and left for the guys' house. They were all staying in one big frat house that they had rented. After picking them up, I also picked up Bryan, Brian, and Roger.

'Austin has barely spoken to me since Tuesdasy.'

I drove to the airport. Everyone was asleep, after all, the flight left at 5 am. It was a long flight to say the least. I sat in between Ben and Gwilym. I connected with the two better anyways. Gwilym slept the whole time, and Ben complained that his back hurt and he was so tired that he couldn't sleep. I felt more like a babysitter at that moment. I comforted him and played with his hair until he fell asleep. I also fell asleep. I felt myself starting to dream.

There he was. My beautiful girl. I carried her with me for 9 months, she was 12 days early. She was so eager to get here. She loves playimg dress up. She was so outgoing. She had my eyes. I loved her so much more than I could imagine. I felt the love of my life behind me, holding me, kissing my neck. "We made that," I said, cradling his arms in mine. "We sure did." That wasn't Austin's voice. Who was this? I turned around to the familiar blonde who was currently next to me. I gasped.

I gasped so hard, I woke up. I woke up to my phone going crazy. Joe had tagged me in a picture on Instagram. It was a picture of the three of us; Gwil with his mouth wide open, dead asleep and mine and Bens heads against each other's sleeping as well. I smiled at the cuteness of the two, until I saw the comments.

'Who the hell is she?'

'Does he know she's married?'

'Her poor husband :('

They all assumed we were an item. I don't understand. "Um, Joe?" I said quietly. "What's up?" He said. "I really adore this picture, but would you mind taking it down? It's he comments," I said. He looked at it, and he looked shocked. "I'm so sorry, yes of course." He said. And with that, the picture was gone. Out of sight out of mind.

Hours later, we arrived in London. I had booked the hotel in advance, making sure the top floor of the nicest hotel in the area was reserved for them. The cast stayed in the rooms upstairs, the crew in the floor below. I figured it'd help with keeping the pap and crazy fans out. I made sure security was at its finest so the cast could from one place to another, safely. Once we arrived at the hotel, I showed everyone to their rooms. The guys requested to share a room, so I made sure they got the biggest room. It had two king sized beds. The guys, Bryan, Brian, Roger, and I had a quick meeting. I explained to all of them the plan, where everything was, and how transportation needed to go.

Rami raised his hand. "You don't have to raise your hand, Ram." I said. "Where are you sleeping?" He asked, the other guys responding with "yeah?" I laughed a bit. "I'm a few doors down. I've got the second biggest room." I said point to the direction of your room and flipping your hair. "Mmmm, no you need to sleep here with us." Gwilym said. "Who else will protect us?" Joe chimed in. "I'm your assistant, not your body guard." I said giggling a bit. I really was their babysitter. "Please, Leah? Pretty pretty please?" Ben whined. "I'll stay in here for as long as you want but I'm sleeping in my room, end of discussion. I'm married, remember?" I said, showing my beautiful ring. Ben looked at me, raising his eye brows. Only he knew what had happened. "I'm starving," Roger said. "Where can we eat?" "You guys can stay in my room and eat. My bags are unpacked and my room is ready, someone else is coming up here with your bags. I would unpack them for you but those are your personal belongings and I wouldn't feel comfortable with touching them. I've ordered some room service, I already know what you all like, so you guys can head over to my room," I said handing Bryan my key. "And chill out there for a bit. Just don't go through my stuff." I said. Everyone got up, Ben was the last out. Before he left, it was just us two in the room.

"How are things?" He said looking at my arm, the bruises had gone away. I nodded my head. "Okay. Could be better. Hasn't really talked to me. He's only come home before 3 am once last week." He could tell I had been holding these feelings in. "It sounds like to me you need to talk to someone about it. Get a second opinion." He said crossing his arms. I shrugged my shoulders. "Not much to talk about, really. He started to get really possessive and jealous when I took the job as assistant to Bryan. He's convinced that you all won't respect me. He didn't even care that I was leaving for a month or more. He only makes love to me when he's drunk, and it's not even passionate anymore. Just drunk, messy, and to be blunt, short. It's like he doesn't love me anymore but I know that's not true, I don't think." I said. I realized I had been rambling on for a while, I rambled myself near to tears.

I looked up at him and he seemed genuinely hurt by that fact that I'm hurting. I opened my mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a knock at the door and it opened slowly. "Bags, ma'am." A man said. "It's okay, come on in, leave them out infront if the beds, the boys can choose where they sleep." I said to him. He obeyed, and left to deliver more bags. "Sorry. I just can't really deal with this right now. It's best that we have this break, maybe this is just what we needed right now, a break. I don't want to focus on it, I want to focus on the movie." I said. I nodded at your comment. "Yeah." I said walking out of the room, into my room.

"Leah, you're a genius. How'd you know what we all liked?" Brian said. I laughed a bit. "It's my job to know." I said. I hadn't finished unpacking my bathroom bag, so I grabbed that and start to unpack it. "Hey, where's Ben?" Rami asked. "Probably still in your all's room. Your bags are in there, he might just be unpacking his. You all need to pick your beds." I said from the bathroom. Joe jumped up, running out the door. "I call next to Ben!" He yelled running to his room. The others followed. As I was unpacking, I saw some feminine hygiene things, which reminded me. I hadn't started yet. What day was it? I forgot when I started, but my period was never regular. I just knew I hadn't had one yet this month, and the month was almost over. 'Oh god please no...'  I thought to myself. I couldn't have a baby, not right now at least. Not until he was better. Because he was sick. That's why he hurts me. He's just sick. While I was staring at it, Brian came to the door, knocking quietly. He smiled nicely at me. "Everything alright?" He asked, leaning against the door. "Oh, uh, yeah." I said, throwing them in your bathroom box, it was three drawers on wheels to keep things in when I'm away for long periods of time. "Anything I can do you for, sir?" I asked, making eye contact. The way he looked reminded me of my parents. It was hard to look at him but harder to look away. He shook his head. "No, not at the moment. You don't have to call me sir, love. Just Brian will be okay." He said smiling again. I nodded your head. I didn't mean to seem tense, but I couldn't help it.

"It's just you and me in here right now, but I want to get to know you, if that's alright." He said. "Alright, what would you like to know?" I said leaving the bathroom, sitting at the small table provided in my room. He sat across from me, facing the door. "Tell me about when you first listened to Queen." He said. "Hmm," I hummed, I don't really remember Queen becoming part of my life, they just were. "I can't say I remember, no. My parents," I choked at that word. "My parents, really enjoyed the music. Went to concerts all over the world, followed your A Night At The Opera tour, even. You all were part of our family. When Freddie died, it felt like they lost someone. It was very personal to them." I explained, chewing at my lip, praying he wouldn't ask what he was about to ask. "How did they react when you told them about this movie?" He asked curiously. I couldn't help but to get mad, but I couldn't show it at all, the man didn't know they were gone, it wasn't his fault.

'They were gone,' I thought.

I laughed to myself a bit. Not because it was funny, just ironic. I looked down, trying hard to not shed the tears that were already coming. "They, uh," I started. He grabbed my hand, he could tell this was hard for me. "They're no longer here." I said, wiping away the tears to keep my make up from running. He squeezed my hand, looking shocked and feeling the pain I felt. "They passed away in this crazy train wreck, it'll be two years next week actually. It happened about three hours south of here." I said trying not to lose control. "I haven't tried avoiding you or Roger by any means. It's just so painful still, but getting to know you two, two people who I've considered family my entire life, it's been incredible. Unreal. I'm so honored to assist you both." I said, looking in his eyes, with salty tears in mine. Right now, I just wanted Lola.

I felt a bond with him. Obviously not in a romantic, gross type of way. But I haven't felt a connection, a family connection, with someone in a while and I knew my body ached for it again.

"I'm so sorry, my love." He said. I shook my head. "No it's okay, I'm fine. It's still just so hard. I didn't have siblings, my parents, who were both only child's, are gone. My only family now is my husband and he comes home smelling like alcohol and uses me as a punching bag and a sex toy and-" I stopped myself when that came out. Brian grabbed my hand with his other hand. "You need to leave him, Leah. We're your family now." He said so genuinely. I shook my head. "No I'm just your assistant. That's all I'm good at is doing stuff for others. Not that I don't want to, I love helping you guys do things when you need help!" I said correcting myself, not wanting to sound ungrateful. I couldn't help but to break down. "I'm sorry." I said, I couldn't help but sob.

With that, my phone went off. The touring manager calls. I think it's about the set, there's been a lot of issues with that. "I'm sorry." I repeated. I felt bad because my problems weren't his and I know that, I just couldn't help telling him. And I left the room.

Ahh! So exciting finally getting to share this series! I might post part four later today. Hope you all are enjoying! Xx

[cannyouuhearmenoww]

I Will Choose You Every Day

Making choices has never been my strong suit

Past events, friends, fights, attitudes, grades, weight can all testify to that

The problem is I'm always making choices for someone else

I'm always considering how what I do will effect those around me

And often I'm striving to please the wrong people

In recent years I've been better at looking out for me and my health, mentally and physically

When making changes one of two things can happen, either you fall right back into old habits or you tip the scale too far in the other direction

I fell back into the habit of being with someone who I needed to take care of

Then when I decided to let go and move on I jumped off the deep end of the other extreme

I became selfish

And I'm sorry you had to meet me that way

But loving you has brought me back to balance

For the first time I'm in love and being loved back by someone who can take care of themselves

As much as we joke and kid you could never get by without me, in reality we both know you'd thrive no matter what

And it's the most liberating feeling in the world to know you'd be fine without me but you still choose to be with me

I don't feel guilty for taking care of myself anymore because you support me unconditionally and you're not afraid to tell me if I've gone too far

You've shown me more patience than anyone else in your life and that's how I know loving me is not a fleeting romance for you

It's something real that you choose to work at every day

If I could go back and change the things I've said and done out of selfishness I would

I wouldn't have made you hear about him, I would've trashed all those pictures, I would have told my friends about you, I would have declared my love for you proudly, I would have heard you out instead of saying no just to say no

I would've never made you doubt this was as real for me as it is for you

I can't change the past but I can tell you the truth

The truth I thought would make me vulnerable, needy, and pathetic

The truth you've never been afraid to share with me

I'm choosing to share it with you now

Bryan, I started falling in love with you from our first encounter

(Well actually even before that)

From the minute I saw you enter orientation I thought you were so handsome

You had a smile that lit up the whole room

And a laugh that was absolutely intoxicating to hear

I don't know if you even realize it, but you have a magnetism about you that draws people in with your charm and charisma and I felt it right away

You were the first non administrator to greet me in the lunchroom

You came right up without any hesitation

Knowing you as well as I know you now I know you'll laugh when I tell you how nervous you made me

I tried to keep a cool and calm composer but I'm sure my blushed face and shaky words were a dead give away

I wanted to take your invitation, I really did, but I couldn't get up the courage to

I was so scared I'd go with you and I'd make a bad first impression on you and everyone else because I was so shy and nervous

So I went with the safe bet and stuck with the people who were just as scared and nervous as I was

It was the cowardly thing to do and I beat myself up over it for weeks after that

But you gave me hope I hadn't completely messed up because in the computer lab you included me in conversation and even offered a tour for the new people

I admired (and envied) your confidence and for the first time in that new and scary place I felt safe and it was with you

Our following encounters were meaningless in the most meaningful ways

You would help out in our class to do puzzles, projects, and games and bring excitement to otherwise monotonous days

I found myself eagerly looking towards the door at the sound of the handle turning hoping it would be you

And feeling disappointment in the pit of my stomach when I didn't see your face

Based on our personalities it is no surprise you were the first one to suggest activities that involved spending more time together like going to pick up lunch

When you asked if I'd be interested in dressing up together for Halloween you made me feel like somebody for the first time in a while

I felt special, you had friends who wanted you to dress up with them and of all those people you wanted to do something with me

A girl you barely knew (who often gave you a lot of attitude because she didn't know how to flirt with you to save her life)

For the first time since I had started that job 2 months earlier I was excited on my way in that morning

I knew it was going to be a fun day, and not because of any activities, but because I knew I had a reason to spend more time with you

I had no idea how hard that day was going to be for you

I knew you received failing test results the night before but it was not until later on that I would find out the magnitude of what that truly meant to you

I was impressed by how you kept a brave face on through everyone asking and offering condolences and suggesting you'd have better luck next time

I remember wanting to say more about it but knowing it wasn't my place

When you asked me to go out with you after work I don't think I could have said yes fast enough

Which was surprising to me because normally the thought of going out alone with someone I barely knew would leave me riddled with anxiety

But instead I found myself smiling at the thought of having all of your attention on me

Sitting there at the bar with you I knew that was it for me

The conversation flowed so naturally, my face hurt from laughing and smiling so much

Everything about it felt natural; confiding in you, sitting close to you, letting time pass with you

On the night after your birthday, a night that was supposed to be celebrating you, you chose to take me out for drinks and then to the haunted house I wanted to go to so bad

When we arrived I was admittedly more scared than I thought I would be but being with you kept me calm

I trusted you so much even as acquaintances

Here I was at a haunted house, with a guy I barely knew (but was very interested in), dreading going home to a boyfriend who loved me but even at our best never made me feel this alive

The chemistry I felt when I grabbed your arm was undeniable, I didn't want to let go but I knew I had to

I hated saying goodbye to you that night

I hated the uncertainty of what that night meant to you

I was left pleasantly surprised when you messaged me on Instagram that night (we still hadn't even exchanged numbers yet)

I remember my face lighting up when I get your message and being so excited to tell my family about the time I had spent with you

And they called it right away, they could tell my heart was beating for you a mile a minute, and they feared what my next choice would be

Just 2 nights later we went out again, this time you wanted to introduce me to your best friend

As a girl, meeting a guy's female best friend, is probably one of the most nerve racking experiences because girls can be brutal

But once again you proved I was safe with you and you never left my side the whole evening

We were at a table with a group of other people in an overcrowded bar and yet somehow it felt like we were the only 2 people in the world

From there came the nonstop messages, the never ending conversation

I would struggle to stay awake at night to talk to you and wake up excited to see what message I would have waiting for me in the morning

I was absolutely addicted to conversing with you, we could talk about anything

TV, movies, music, friends, family, school, philosophies, anything

You were my best friend

Weekends became the hardest part, during the week work was an excuse to see you and get together after but I wanted reasons for to see you more

I remember buying our Silverstein convert tickets and counting down days on my calendar to Brittany's engagement party

I remember it became harder with every passing day to keep lying to the people in my life about you

I chose to keep you a secret, I chose to try to continue my life's status quo and in doing that I chose to hurt you

I was selfish, I didn't want anything to ruin what we already had going and I didn't want to fully commit to what we were so clearly becoming

My poor choices caught up to me the first day I went to your house

On the drive to your house (from North Plainfield) I remember thinking about how much I had missed you over the past couple days and how much I would miss you for the week you'd be away

Now at this point I knew I liked you, and I wanted you, but I had no idea I was going to leave that night in love with you

You greeted me at the door with my favorite wine, you showed me to your room and put on your favorite movie

You told me why it was your favorite and I let your every word pull me closer and closer to you until we were merely inches away

You ordered us food, we did our normal amount of bantering and laughing and I knew I could do this with you every day for the rest of my life

You took me out for dessert and showed me all the places in Montclair you'd like to take me one day

We saa at the bar with question cards in hand, making light of the cheesy blind date game on the counter

As questions passed our answers became more involved and you said something I'll never forget

We were talking about why you went into physical therapy, you told me stories of how you've seen physical therapy change people's lives

You said "all I want to do is make a difference, I want to help people in any way I can, so I chose a career that would allow me to help people physically and mentally"

Those words stood out to me because that's all I had ever wanted since I got into psychology and nutrition and fitness

I wanted to help people feel as good as they can, and if I can have a positive influence on even one person in my life I will have succeeded in that goal

Having the same hopes, goals, values, and dreams as someone is rare

I knew you were something special, you could never be just a friend

When we got back to your house I could have chosen to go home

You could have chosen to ask me to leave

But instead to invited me in and I said yes

We repositioned ourselves on your bed but this time I couldn't bear to waste anymore time away from you

I took a chance you felt the same way and would be okay with my resting my head on your shoulder

I felt discouraged when you didn't immediately wrap me up in your arms, but I knew you were being respectful of my situation

Eventually I wore you down and for the first time we laid together, body to body, breathing in unison

You were excited to tell me about your favorite show and I was excited to see you so happy

It took almost 2 hours but you finally got up the courage to tilt my chin up towards you and bring our lips together

I felt catatonic shock, like there was an electric charge running through my veins

I felt all the hair on my body stand up and tensed up muscles begin to melt and relax

I wanted to keep going but I chose to stop because that moment validated everything I felt towards you was real

I drove home that night with my head spinning determined to use your time away to as a chance to clear my head

All my thoughts revolved around you, and even after our conversation about how you felt towards me, I once again made the cowardly decision to put off making a choice between you and him

I started cluing in my friends and family about what had happened and they were not happy with me

I had once again made a choice that disappointed everyone so I decided in that moment to be selfish

I kept doing what I was doing because it was making me happy without considering what I was doing to you

When you got back I knew things were different between us

You took me to dinner and museum in the city, by an standards a romantic date, and I was cold and distant

I felt guilty over my difficulty to make a choice

But you never faultered, you stayed positive, and continued to work to win me over

Then came the engagement party, an event I had so been looking forward to since you had invited me

I got my hair done the way you suggested and agonized over what to wear to impress you

As the alcohol continued to flow we got more and more comfortable putting our hands on one another and I was overly excited to go home with you

You held my hand for the first time in the car and once we got in bed you grabbed my face, with more force than before

You kissed me without stopping

I kissed you back and in that moment I had never wanted someone so bad in my life

But even with my head clouded with desire the little voice of guilt returned and I knew I couldn't go through with it, not like this

I made the choice to say no and I knew that made you feel unwanted and I'm sorry

I knew I would not be able to say no forever, not even for a week

The following week you planned a special date for us, because once again you were not ready to give up on me

You took me to medeveal times, another place I wanted to go, and showed me a real date could be like with someone you click with

I knew that would be our night

I knew this time if you made a move I wouldn't say no

I knew you'd make a move

I felt the same electric charge of desire and excitement as the first time we kissed

With you body pressed against mine I knew you had been lusting over the thought of this encounter

You made me feel pleasure I had never felt before and with our bodies together as one for the first time I fell deeper in love with you

I didn't want that night to end, I didn't want to return to my reality of still having to choose

My choice was clear but I was still so scared to take the jump with you

I knew as time passed I had to act soon or I'd lose you forever

With that thought in my head I officially chose you the day I said goodbye to him

I said I wanted time to myself but that was a lie, I wanted you, but I didn't want you to doubt my feelings

I didn't want to scare you away with the notion that you were only a rebound

I wanted you, I chose you, I was committed to making it work with you

I think we were both in a state of euphoria when we were finally free to be together

I spent every night with you over winter break

But reality hit us as hard as my back hit the mountain on our snowboarding trip

I couldn't put a label on us because I was scared of what people would think and I was choosing to please them over you

I was still talking to you as only a friend when you deserved my respect as a partner

I made a lot of my mistakes that first month that I wish I could take back

Happiness was finally back in our lives when we chose our special day and that high carried us to Valentine's day

I took you for granted that day and I'm sorry

Even though we smiled through most of the evening I'll never forget the fight that ensued upon arriving home

For the first time I was scared of really losing and there was nothing I could say because all your complaints were true

I wasn't treating how I'd treated others and you deserved better because you were the best thing that had ever happened to me

I promised to be better but the lingering resentment only led to more fights

There was one week in March I was convinced that would be it

You were upset with how I ignored your friends in the halls, shared secrets that were meant to stay between us and made you question if I was truly in this with you

I was being selfish

That was a rock bottom for me

I knew I had to change

I knew everything you were telling me was for my own good, not for selfish motives

I know I'm not perfect now but I hope you see how far I've been trying to come for you

I hope you know I'm here for better and for worse

I hope you know any future involving you would make you happy

I'm done being selfish

I'm choosing you always

I know making these choices was what was best for us because this time spent with you since then has been the happiest of my life and I mean that sincerely

And all I could think of at the wedding cerey the other night was the vows I would write to you

I would vow to support you no matter what, with work, with your test, with you furthering your coaching and education, I'd be here for it

I would vow to always be loyal to you above everyone else because you are the most important person in my life

I would vow to be honest with you, no matter how hard that may be or how scared I may be to do so

I would vow to always be the best person I can be because you deserve no less, and even if I suck at taking criticism I'd do my best to hear you out always

I would vow to respect you always, I would give you space when you ask for it and always speak to you as my equal and never question your feelings

I would vow to love you, whether it be through words or actions

Most importantly I would vow to choose you, to wake up every day and never be afraid to let the world know that I am yours and you are mine because you have given me the courage I have always lacked

And even though marriage is a long way away, I vow these to you now

I love you more than anything Bryan

I choose you as I always have and I always will ❤️

[bronzetomatoes]

@clingyduoapologist sick

In the original 1992 Newsies there is, as far as I can remember, one line about an Old vs Young conflict (during The World Will Know "the old will fall as the young stand tall"). The newsies have several adult allies, such as Denton, Mr and Mrs Jacobs, the lodge keeper, and Ms Medda.

The main conflict in the film was never about the beautiful shining kids/young adults versus the mean crooked old men. It just wasnt! That was not the story they were telling. It was instead about the abused and mistreated working class fighting back against the greedy and selfish rich people in charge.

The conversation on age in the story was entirely centered around the fact that they, as children, were more vulnerable and dependant on the jobs no one else wanted. That the entire city ran on the backs of children, and how disgusting it was they were being fucked over by the grown adults in stable positions.

The newsies weren't saying "you guys are crooked because you're old, and we're the new generation who will do things better!", they were saying "we are literal children so you should stop exploiting us, wtf"

Newsies 1992 is entirely, 100% about poor people fighting back against selfish rich people who've had it their own way forever. Working class wants to stop being exploited by upper class, so they fuck shit up.

Now. Newsies was made into Broadway musical!! Many of the people who can afford to go see shows on Broadway are (you guessed it!) rich. They don't want to go and see 2h 30min of kids dunking on rich people while doing pirouettes! Unlike the silly common folk, they don't appreciate poor people fucking up rich people amidst song and dance. That's where Newsies for Broadway decided to reframe the theme from a class divide over to an age divide. Not all rich people are bad!! Just old people!!!

Enter Katherine Plumber. I hate her.

Katherine is not everything that's wrong with the adaptation, but she comes pretty damn close. The main sticking point of this argument is in Katherine's solo song Watch What Happens. The lyrics, specifically the line "their mistake is they got old, that is not a mistake we'll be making, no sir, we'll stay young forever," show us that Katherine believes herself to be innocent of all conflict the working kids are facing. She herself can't be part of the problem, look at her! She's just a young woman trying to make a name for herself, not one of those horrible old men (her father) who oppress them, she's not like that! The song shifts any blame off of herself, and gets the viewer to believe that anything wrong she does is just an Unfortunate Consequence of her upbringing, but no fault of her own.

Katherine was the rich, classist, arrogant #girlboss character. To sum her up, she served as a replacement for both Bryan Denton (the reporter who took on the newsies' story) and Sarah Jacobs (David and Les' sister and Jack's love interest). She was created to take the place of two separate characters and fell short on both of them.

Whereas Denton got involved with the newsies from a combination of intrigue and genuine support, Plumber takes on the job solely in hopes of furthering her career and being taken seriously as a writer. While I could originally respect the sigma male grindset, Plumber shows consistent, blatant disrespect for the people she's oh-so-reliant on for her big break. She never sees them as equals, and ranges from describing them as "poor little kids" to "plain-spoken, know-nothing" uneducated scoundrels. She describes working for them and Jack as "lying down with dogs" and, while we do see some change in attitude by the end of the show, she states (and implies) several times that she sees them as below her.

Sarah was an incredible character, which is at least one thing Katherine wasn't. Another thing was being kind. Sarah was just about the only character who was genuinely and fully kind, and her kindness was not a weakness, rather a sign of her strength and willpower. Katherine was not kind. Female characters do not need to be kind!! But in a story like this where a lot of characters are a little rough around the edges (and very obviously hurting), we don't need another rude and abrasive person. Sarah's kindness was something that stuck out to Jack, whereas Katherine treated him like every other rich asshat he had met.

Denton cared about the newsies from the very beginning, he didn't need to go around snooping in their personal belongings in order to gain some sympathy for them. Sarah didn't threaten to punch Jack, but she did punch a Delancey when they hurt her baby brother.

Katherine Plumber was created so that rich theatre goers would have someone to project themselves onto. They needed to be able to say "look at her, she's just like me fr! She was born into a rich family, hell, she's even related to their direct oppressor, but I know if I were in her position I would DEFINITELY be on their side. Not all rich people are bad!!! Of course, she has to be horribly classist to all of them, she doesn't really think she's better than them!! Of course not!! It's not her fault that the poor people are uneducated, and besides, she doesn't know better! She's still a good guy! #girlboss!"

Katherine was also given half of David's personality. Like all of the time that was spent in the movie developing Jack and David's relationship was practically handed over to Katherine (he sat with her at Medda's???? He didnt even bring David and Les???), and honestly? Not too surprising. It fucking sucks, but if they had already taken out Sarah and kept David and Jack the way they already were then even more people would've noticed how much chemistry they had.

In conclusion, Katherine Plumber/Pulitzer was adapted into the musical because it was the easiest way to change the core theme of the story. The class battle was changed to an age problem, and Sarah was watered down into a Strong Independent Woman (bc women can only read as strong and independent if theyre also dickheads). Denton treated the kids as his equals, as humans who deserved human rights, and was replaced with someone who could remind the audience of how poor and uneducated these kids were, and how badly they needed someone bc they couldn't have done anything on their own. David was cast to the side to make space for someone who had literally no fucking respect for his best friend, and his position in starting the strike was barely brushed on in favour of fleshing out someone who really did not develop much over a play that was that bloody long

Who wants to see my disjointed 14-paragraph rant on how much I hate Katherine Plumber/Pulitzer

[shinozaki-ayumi]

Please answer all the things from the ask thing I can't decide what I want to know most :'''(

omg thats ok!! this’ll be a long one then lol

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

its my boyfriend, so i’d probably be just like… “oh hey, that’s cool”

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

he’s my boyfriend lol

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

yeah mostly because i don’t want to associate myself with it and i’d also just be really concerned about their health too? like weed isn’t bad but anything else is a no

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nope. exactly 6

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober bc i don’t drink lol

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

the only person i’ve ever had a crush on is my current and only boyfriend so no 

7. What does your last received text say?

“pack up your stuff”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

too many times over the past three years to even begin to count

9. Where was your last kiss at?

about 20 mins ago at my boyfriend’s front door

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

i don’t have a sister, but i have a brother and i saw him 2 minutes ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

tea or milk

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my own bed 

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

not really because if you are really meant to be with someone you both will put in the effort to make sure you are respectful of each other. i do think it’s probably difficult to find a partner though, especially in high school bc those almost never last. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

not really honestly lol. this year has been pretty decent.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

nope. it would prooobably be pretty awesome actually

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy! i love rain so much. it’s so relaxing to listen to and watch.

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

no. my middle name is Jean, so i don’t know many people with that as a middle name. i don’t think it’s very popular.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

pajama pants :D

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

hell yes. my boyfriend and i have been together for three years already and are more stable and loving than we ever have. 

20. Does anyone like you?

not at the moment i don’t think, but i have known about several guys who have liked me. aside from the current bf, they were all… gross….

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

my boyfriend’s name is Stefan lol

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

nope, he’s straight as can be

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

SO MANY. SO SO MANY.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

absolutely! i want something simple (like a triforce or something) on my wrist or ankle. 

25. In the past week have you cried?

this morning lmao

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

mutt/mix/hunting dog thing. idk what she is. her name is hazel and she is my boyfriend’s dog.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

mix of both? lol

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

no none of the football players at my school are even remotely attractive to me 

29. Do you think you’re old?

…im 16, so no

30. Do you like text messaging?

it’s ok. but honestly, in comparison to the past few years, i just prefer talking in person or on skype

31. What type of day are you having?

GARBAGE but its ok because its getting better as it goes :)

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

no… the only piercings i want are more ear piercings.

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold. like, mid fall weather. 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

i would literally die to save my boyfriend from suffering

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship; flings/one-time things are not appealing to me. i like friendship and emotional bonding.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

complicated, but i don’t think anyone is really “simple.”

37. What song are you listening to?

none, my computer just decided to turn volume up to 100% for some reason without me pressing the buttons and now my ears are ringing. nice.

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

depends who i’m talking to and whether or not they deserve it39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

a girl? ya, but only one. i only have a few female friends. most of my friends are boys lol40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i had a dream that they were sleeping in my room and the next day at school i almost threw up when i saw them. good times.41. When did you last receive a text message?

about an hour ago42. What is wrong with you right now?

TOO. MUCH. HOMEWORK. 43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

she’s my mom, so pretty well i think lol44. Does anyone disgust you?

a variety of people. pro-life people especially disgust me. also any religious zealots and closed-minded people in general. 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

no, way too dedicated to my actual boyfriend.46. Are you in a good mood right now?

i’ve been better but my current mood is far better than my mood yesterday/this morning!!47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my mom48. What color shirt are you wearing?

black49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah… it’s pretty personal though. not gonna talk about it.50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not currently but in the past year or two, many people51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

not in the slightest

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

not sure if this means in a relationship or not but platonically yes. that friendship ended in far shittier ways though, so sometimes i sort of regret it. don’t think it could’ve ended any other way though.53. Do you like rain?

I LOVE RAIN 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

yeah because if they are a huge party animal who wants to drink all the time and loves being drunk all the time i am NOT compatible with them. casually drinking once in a while would probably be fine though.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

the only person i’ve ever liked is fully aware that i like him lol56. Do you like to cuddle?

YES. SO MUCH. I LIVE ON CUDDLES.57. Are you shy?

yeah but i’m growing out of it a bit!!!58. Do you get along with girls?

not really59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

currently dating60. What do you carry with you at all times?

phone, pencils, sketchbook61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

I’D DO IT FOR FREE 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

it’s been three years in my current one, so yes lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

you all know the answer to this64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

yes i love when he does this. its gentle and reassuring65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

idk. not cute, but i had some nice moments with my bf. mostly just laying on my bed and talking about “deep” stuff while playing fire emblem

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

theres only been one and he’s 17 

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

do them myself but i haven’t done my nails in years    68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

can i say neither69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

i dont have a car but my family does not70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?   

….can i say neither?  71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone? 

iPhone   72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?   

ages ago because my town’s only Pizza Hut closed years ago  73. Do you like diet soda?    

no those cancer-inducing chemicals can stay 5000000 miles away from my body74. What color are the walls in your room?    

dark yellow-y tan 75. Are you 16 or older?    

i’m 1676. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?   

no, tried, not a fan 77. Do you have a job?    

no and i am dreading it. i’d like to take commissions instead lol

 78. What are your initials?  

EJC  79. Did you ever have braces?    

yes and they are long gone. i am grateful80. Are you from the south?    

nope, upstate New York! best state 

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

i don’t use facebook82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?  

lol  83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

my mom84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?  

neither  85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?  

i genuinely do not remember. i think Rogue One  86. Do you smoke?    

HELL no 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

flip flops88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

straight90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

no91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?   

pool 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

yes93. …Had sex in a car?  

no lol  94. Are you single or in a relationship?  

in a relationship  95. What were you doing last night at midnight? 

sleeping   

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 

fourth of july on Saratoga Lake    97. Do you like the camera on your phone?  

its much better than my last one, but still not the best. i have a 5s   98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?   

nope 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

never drank 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  

not on facebook, but on instagram yes  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

yes even though it was 99.9% irrational. i’m tokophobic lol. thank god for the pill 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

i cant even name one 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  

HAHAHAHAHAHA i’m of british and german descent (aka about as white as they can come) so my skin burns, never tans   104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?  

absolutely not