#What are the Odds of the Cheese Wheel Figuring it Out?

[thatsbelievable]

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase Character Discussion (for your local Cyberchase trivia quiz) - #6: Slider

Alright, here's your boy.

It's about time I got around to him, right? He's, what, the most popular character in the whole show?

Slider was one of a slate of characters introduced in Season 3. So, he didn't get an original "Meet the Cybersquad" entry. His first ever appearance would have been on the Cyberchase website during their "Who's New?" promotion. We get to see Slider and Creech, who both went on to appear in numerous episodes. We also get to see Nero the Animal Hero, Mister Z, Roxy, and Sheldon. I don't think those four have appeared since their debut episodes.

So, what did we learn about Slider here?

Lives in Radopolis

Loves to skateboard and is really good at it

Can fix anything

That's not alot to go on. With how Radopolis is, the second point is kind of redundant. Later on, they did give us more facts on his official trading card.

He's 13 years old (or is that Cyber-years?). We'll assume that this makes him older than the Earth Brats. His favorite color is red. He enjoys speed (going fast), string cheese, and sneakers. He dislikes busy-bodies and The Hacker, with an emphasis on The Hacker. He's great at skateboarding and building stuff.

His favorite line is just "Cool." To be fair, he doesn't seems like the sort of person to bother with a proper catch phrase.

Slider appeared for the first time during the gang's second trip to Radopolis, in Season 3 Episode 2 "Borg of the Ring". When he first shows up, he rescues Inez, Matt, and Jackie from a tire avalanche. He is notably unconcerned about the chaos unfolding on Radopolis. It's only after they mention The Hacker and/or The Totally Rad Ring, that he accepts that he has to do something about this.

Matt: Thanks for saving us.

Slider: (smiles, nods, and starts to leave)

Nezzie: Wait, you can't just leave us here! We need a ride!

Slider: Not my problem

Jackie: But we have to stop Hacker! He has the totally Rad Ring!

Slider: Just became my problem.

We know that The Hacker used the Rad Ring to remove everyone's wheels. Slider has a substitute for a wheel on his board, in the form of an aluminum can. This suggests that he has already been impacted by The Hacker's actions. And yet, he needs further motivation to get involved. It makes me wonder if he was testing that can as a replacement to the wheel, skated off while lost in his own head, and didn't notice everyone else's wheels disappearing around him.

Of course, we have to talk about Jackie and Inez immediately crushing on him.

This is something that continued into the series. He looks confused or weirded out in the show.

In also continued in Ron Barrett's official comic, "The Great Cyber-skate". He's shown to be oblivious to what's going on here.

"Borg of the Ring" also introduces his rivalry with Matt. Well, okay, it was more of a one-sided rivalry where Matt was being an ass and Slider barely noticed, but we got some good Matt faces.

We also get this shot, where Matt and Slider are racing to Point Dune, and Slider overtakes Matt easily.

Relax shippers. They just met. This is a children's educational show.

Which one of you drew that?

Anyway, back in "Borg of the Ring", we get a scene where Digit is trying to figure out how to make the ring. Matt offers to show him how. And then, something odd happens.

Slider: We need to adjust the radius.

Digit: Uh-huh, what am I missing here?

Matt: Don't worry Didge. The radius is the distance from the center point out to the edge of the circle. To change how big or small a circle is, just change the radius. I'll show you.

Slider: Nevermind. I'll make it. And I've got just the tool to do it.

Yeah, Slider got sick of listening to the lesson of the episode and just interrupted it. Is that allowed?

Okay, I've put it off long enough. Let's talk about Slider's dad.

We first hear about Slider's dad in "Snelfu Snafu Part 1", where Slider finds the Syncholator and a note from dad telling him to use it to find him.

However, he accidentally uses the ID code for the Encryptor Chip, which reveals that it is on an auction site. At the same time, we just had a radio contact from Dr. Marbles stating that he found the chip. This leads to a short scene that I had forgotten about until now.

Slider: Maybe he (Dr. Marbles) is the one selling the chip.

Digit: Never!

Slider: Cyborgs have been known to switch sides, you know?

Slider immediately goes with the idea that Dr. Marbles, Motherboard's technician/husband(?) has betrayed her. The Encryptor Chip is the only thing that can cure Motherboard, and Slider speculates that Dr. Marbles is trying to sell the chip for personal gain instead.

Near the end of "Snelfu Snafu Part 2", Slider assembles the Syncholator with additional parts to amplify its power. They need to use it to locate and retrieve the Encryptor Chip to recover Motherboard's soul. However, the modifications means that the Syncholator will burn out after one use.

Jackie: Wait a minute. Is there somebody else you need to find?

Slider: My dad. I was going to use the Syncholator to try to locate him

Slider: But if I'm ever going to have a chance to find him, Motherboard needs to be saved first.

As far as I know, this is the first time Slider tells Matt, Jackie, and Inez even a little bit of his tragic back-story. And the show takes his sacrifice of the Syncholator seriously.

Anyway, before we really dig into "Measure for Measure", let's have Matt and Slider get in way over their heads trying to babysit Podlings.

For the purposes of keeping this short and relatively focused, I won't go into too much detail about Slider and Coop's story. However, I will hit the high points.

Back in the day, The Hacker and Coop worked together on a device called the Transformatron, which could transform one thing into another. However, Coop realized that The Hacker was going to use the Transformatron to take over Cyberspace. So, Coop ripped up the plans and sent them elsewhere.

The Hacker took his revenge by swapping Coop's helmet for one made of red magnetite. This damaged Coop's hard drive, causing him to age prematurely.

Coop knew that the magnetite was dangerous enough to harm Slider. So, he left Slider behind in Radopolis, while he went into hiding on Discardia to develop a cure for magnetite poisoning.

The show never states how long Coop and Slider were separated. Keep in mind that Slider is only 13 when we meet him. Slider doesn't appear to have any other family or any sort of support network before the Earthlies show up. At some point, Coop learned that the cure to magnetite poisoning requires magnetite as an ingredient. However, borgs cannot work with magnetite. It's not clear whether Coop came up with any plans after this point, or if he gave up completely.

And then, Digit and the Earthlies arrived. They are immune to magnetite and able to finally mix the cure for Coop.

Yeah, The Hacker comes along, poisons Slider with red magnetite right in front of Coop, and takes Slider as a hostage. We learn that red magnetite damage causes Slider's feet to grow very large, preventing him from running away.

Hacker: Now I have the NIC and your son. Welcome to your worst nightmare, my old friend.

Yeah, this whole storyline is shockingly dark for a children's educational show. I'm glad that they made it. I don't believe I watched this back when it came out, but I would have found it amazing as a kid. I think most kids, either back then, or today, would be able to handle it just fine.

We get a happy ending. The Earthlies are able to save Slider, recover the NIC, and even heal Coop's own magnetite poisoning. And so, Coop and Slider were re-united and ready to get back to skateboarding.

Matt appears to have let go of his one-sided rivalry with Slider. The last episode containing such a rivalry was Season 6 Episode 6 "Team Spirit", where Team Motherboard competes in the Olympics . With Jackie injured, Slider needed to come in to substitute. All the data suggested that Matt needed to handle the swimming section, while Slider needed to handle the final run up to finish line.

Matt was committed to making the final run himself, to the point of refusing to compete. As they needed three people to compete, this selfish decision would have caused Team Motherboard to forfeit.

This wasn't really about Slider as much as it was down to Matt wanting to prove himself to his hero, Zeus. Near the end of the episode, while Matt is thinking it over, Slider comes forward to say something. However, before he can say it, Matt stops him and agrees to give the final run to the finish line to Slider, for the good of the team.

With those stories wrapped up, what else can we say about Slider. Well, there is something unusual here. Let's put him next to Matt for a moment.

Let's take his shirt off real quick.

Let's take Matt's shirt off as well.

Alright, now let's put Slider next to our other favorite Cyborg child, Creech.

For a Cyborg child, Slider just looks like an Earth Brat. If you needed to ding him on something, it would be his rectangular eyes. That's not a pre-requisite for Cyborg children, as Creech has oval eyes. However, we don't see any humans with that style of eyes.

I doubt that there is any real push to change Slider's model. I'm not pushing to change Slider's model. Still, this was kind of a strange choice, especially considering that Creech and Slider both arrived in Season 3. Why does Slider look almost human, while Creech gets the antennae and circuit-board-trace treatment that more closely aligns her with the Cyborgs?

[maryonmega]

Twin Stars - Chapter 14

Pleasant (bittersweet?)

Your hand stings. When you held it out, the area where you held your dagger was darkened. Of course it is. No scars means no callouses. 

It's fine. You're not actually hurt aside from that. You didn't give the poor child even more survivor guilt. Everything is fine. 

Now that you have Nille's hand in yours, you can tell that it's very calloused, too. Everyone around you works hard and it shows in their bodies. 

You don't need to show in your body. You can feel yours in your soul. 

"Thank you. For helping us. Truth is, I don't know a lot of combat craft..."

"Not everyone does. What matters is that That everyone is okay now."

You say everyone, but you're still looking at Bonbon. They're not smiling. The carefree smile they had telling you two about how the party met the lady is long gone. Makes sense. But no one's bleeding, so it should be fine soon enough. And no one will. You're sure of that. Even if that encounter was not a fib. 

Because... even if you are an orchid character, doesn't mean you can't act. 

"Still." She rubs your hand. It's comforting. As odd as that sounds. Accepting her touch doesn't feel like a betrayal. Just like neither does saying her name. It's like she's the one solid evidence of the vague idea you had back there, with Mirabelle. Ironic, how what's keeping you in this plane mostly comes from women "Thank you, Sisyphus."

The idea that crosses your mind is absurd, but, after that scare, you can brush it off as a "heat of the moment" thing. Because you're not overthinker Siffrin.

"I can show you some, if you want."

"It'd be nice, yeah."

"That was so cool!" Bonbon says. You... not surprised, after the tension broke and everyone is okay. That last part sure is important for them, you know.

Your eyes sting. You hold them in. Bonnie's alright, you have no reason to cry.

"Think nothing of that, kiddo. You have to know how to look after yourself, when out and about." You breath in, and out. Nille accepted your offer "What's your craft type, by the way?"

"I'm a paper type."

What?

"What?"

"Don't look like it?" She's smirking. Did she- she thinks your shock is funny? "You're not the first."

"Figures!" She could snap you like a stick! And made a protective stance! Don't judge a book by the cover indeed!

"Of course, if that makes things hard..."

"No, no, the idea is kind of similar, I guess. I'll help you!"

"You could help me too. I want to make people stronger." You can almost hear the like Za in Bon's voice. You're not surpised they choose this route. You... You're not surprised at all...

"Maybe, maybe..." You mumble. You feel yourself slump on the cart.

You can feel the silence after that.

~~

The lady drops you off at the town she was staying. Her caravan was there for a fair that would happen a few days later.

You'd be more surprised if the party didn't decide to stick around a little longer after that. You should have seen the return of the alliances, however. In a way. The seven of you decide beforehand, as well as a meeting spot. It was, good, to have something on the forefront of subjects so you won't have to worry too much about saying too much. You're sure it's gonna be mostly looking, anyway. 

You don't breakdown on Mirabelle again, you don't feel sick when, the day of, you eat a cheese croissant, you even find yourself smirking to the looks Stardust and Bon give you. You do feel pressure on your throat when it downs on you that you're calling them Bonnie and has to pass it off as "wrong pipe", but overall, the moment comes with no big incident.

You have not third wheeled early morning and don't want to ruin the day by doing so now. Looking at trinkets could be nice but you know you'll be too nervous around Madame to actually enjoy. Who does that leave you with? Today is "together with the coastal siblings" day, it seens. That... sure will help with your little situation, you're sure. 

Bonnie seens more than entusiastic about the booths. Not "disturb others" level, good thing, but has been all but dragging you both. An almost comical image, in part due to your sizes.  

You are taken by surprise when they keep having their eye caught by little crafted (in the artsy sense, not the spell sense) animals – a crouchet bunny, a porcelain hen with chicks, a wodden rather specific type of fish with a joint to move it's tail – although not in a way that tips to wanting to have one, and your surprise give you a wave of sadness. 

Did you forget about this? About this side of Bonbon, Bonnie, Boniface, when you gradually stripped them and others of their dimensions? Did you never know that, your time before the start too taken by a mix of fear and escapism to have less than surface level things emerge? 

Is it a difference, something more to indicate that this is another minor-case-k kid? Not your Bonbon despite everything? Someone who you'll have to know again, as much as you are to them now? 

... 

Much like with your birth name, you're hit with the reality that you'll never know. 

You watch Nille lift a hen decoration with eggs under it and admit that it's cute but easy to get distracted and break. 

Madame was right, she is young. Sure, twenty one is an adult, but Bonnie doesn't remember their parents. The start must have been rough. You'd know, but... Not really. You had to grow up too fast, too, but at least you only had to worry about yourself. 

And, now, after a crisis that affected the both of them personally, you're intruding in their moment. You should leave, though, seeing the song and dance happening, you feel like you should do something, yet anything you choose will be wrong. 

You feel a tug in your heart.

You pinch at the cloth of your sleeves. Not most, far from most, but some of the stuff is rather cheap. Maybe...

You grab a little bird. Or rather, a head, a torso, a tail and two wings separated with strings conecting them. It's clearly meant to be a decoration rather than a toy, but will have to do. 

"I'm having this little guy. You guys want a little guy too?"

"Oh no don't worry." "No. I'm no baby."

Yup, no surprise at all. You nod and walk out with your dismembered bird and leave the two to have their moment without a prying eye. 

...

You're going to regret it. 

You don't pick an expensive one. A little sheep that you can hold between your fingers. Too much at once can be overwhelming. You take your sweet time putting everything back in place before paying, then hide the toy in your pocket. Later. 

You consider wandering to let them have more time, but, you're not as much of a corvid as your Stardust. You choose to drag your feet and act distracted with the bird that maybe you'll crudely sew into your turttleneck just to justify having it. 

"Hey, sorry for taking so long."

Best thing you can do, really. Let them have their moments. Even if it's just audience seat, it's great that there's no forth wall. 

When you all are done and go find where to sleep, you put your hand on the pocket to grab the little toy sheep, and your finger brushes on something you haven't thought about in a while. 

You still have to return Stardust's coin. 

...

Well, you don't have to give the sheep now. 

It was a fun little time, but pretty much it. It's not like shopping was the main objective, after all. South still took priority, with your starting point. A silver coin and a tiny dolly weight nothing, but you're so aware of them in your pocket that they might as well be a twenty pounds heavy.

Vaugard is beautiful even in autumn. It's not full of mountains, at least not in the route you all chose (well, the party chose, but you wouldn't complain). Climbing doesn't sound like the right word for what happens next. Hike? Maybe. You should get a dictionary too. One of the few things you're sure of now is that Bonnie wants to bite your arm untill you drop the block of cheese.

All the walking left you tired to the bones and made the bedrolls of the camp lure you like a siren call and the chilling air around made putting out the fire feel like a crime. But! It's fine! You're not heartless, in any sense now. You offer to Mira to use your cloak as a shared blanket out of kindness! Not because you want that very normal to want and very much achievable good grade in party member! 

"You don't have to do that. It's your cloak."

"Yes, it's mine, and I can do what I want with it, including sharing."

Stars, you sound like a child. It's true, though.

Mirabelle lets out a small sound, then crawls closer, still clinging to her own blanket. You don't think about how you were already close by sharing a tent and now the folds of the blankets are the only barrier that isn't mental. You unclasp your cloak and let it fall over the two of you, the craft doing it's trick if the relief on her face was a good indicator. 

"Thank you."

"Think nothing of it."

If she does, she might pity you more. You don't want your new-old friendship to start with pity. 

For some time, you're not sure how long, you just lie awake and watch her breath. 

...

You rub the leftover sleep off your eyes. 

You can't quite remember your dream, but you feel... somehow different. Light. Maybe it's just the rest, your body thanking you for taking care of it for once. 

Why do you also feel like you should beware mint? How specific. 

You get out from under the cloak and blanket and get out as carefully as you can to not wake her up. You're cold like a snake with bad circulation, but that's alright. The goosebumps in your skin are almost welcome, even now. Besides, you don't have to stay cold for very long. It's easier to find dry sticks in fall. Because! You're nice! And it's easier now that you actually woke up during decent sunlight. And Bonbon will like that, you hope. 

The place you all stopped at is quite pretty. The trail is not too steep and is surrounded by vegetation made more interesting by the fall color changes, plus the rocks. If it wouldn't become too heavy soon, you could get some cool rocks. 

You make a pile with the sticks and some dry grass in the small circle of rocks that was made yesterday and do your best to light it up. The warmt is welcome on your face and through the fabric of your shirt. Not the same as your cloak, but welcome and brings feeling back to your fingertips. 

The sun doesn't move much by the time you hear a tent open. The siblings. Of course.

"So that's why it's warmer."

"Good morning to you too, Bonnie."

"G'morning." "Morning, Sisyphus."

Now seens like a good moment, no?

"I was thinking about making breakfast. Grilled cheese sandwiches!"

"And it's for things like this that I keep the pots and pans!" Yup, holding back in front of big sis.

"Snack leader doesn't share?"

"Oh, you don't know half of it." Pétronille said. You see her face become teasing.

"I'll wait to know, then."

...

You said that out loud?

"Well, Bon, if my idea is such an insult, then let me make a truce offer."

You stand up from where you were by the fire, and make your way back to the tent. Mira is still asleep. You dig into a pocket to find the little sheep. 

You walk back with your arms behind your back and your head hung in a way that makes your hair fall your face. You hope that will hide your little smile. 

You make a show of getting down to one knee and presenting the sheep. 

"Forgive me, my liege."

You wait. 

They don't take the sheep. For some time. This is starting to get awkward. 

You hear them hum and take it. You look up, and they have a rather serious look on their face. 

"Offer accepted." Bonnie say. You... don't think they're quite playing around, but you're not going to poke in case they are. 

The morning goes by smoothly. Sort of. Mira gave back your cloak and the others are in autumn clothes. Of course. You should know they would have those. The trail is still quite a sight. After your life as a wanderer became a bitter memory, who would know something similar would be welcome?

It's another thing when you go back to walking - hiking! Hiking is the right word! - and Bonnie hangs back for a moment. Near you. 

They look serious. The little sheep has it's head poking out of their collar. 

"Sisy, you don't have a dead baby somewhere, do you?"

What?

"What?"

Was this Mirabelle's theory? She did see that you were(are) grieving, but...

"Belle thinks you had a baby but they died and that's why you're nice to me." Bonnie says, like it was just run-of-the-mill dumb gossip "But that's stupid. She and Za don't have a baby but they're nice to me, too. And not everyone who has babies is nice to them. And I'm no baby, I'm already in the two digit club..."

They continue to talk about how the theory is stupid, and you feel yourself be pulled out of reality by the sheer dread creeping in your veins. 

Buying that sheep was a mistake No, if they liked it enough to tuck like that, than it was a good thing. 

But, oh, boy, you're blinded. More than you thought. 

[kurrypumpum]

Beomgyu omegaverse (part 2)

Beomgyu was so knocked out from the sex, he skipped practise and slept for 5 hours chalking it up to feeling feverish to his members and manager, when he woke up he his legs and vagina felt so sore, walking was uncomfortable for him but bearable he put his clothes on, and went back into the bathroom to do his skincare, he has a very long skincare routine (which makes sense because his skin is flawless). He heard loud shouting in the living room from the bathroom, all male voices.

How fucking loud are they shouting, are they sacrificing someon?

Beomgyu walked into the living room, wearing a basic 5” short, and oversized t shirt combo, looking like a cutie. The members were all sat the sofa watching a horror show, all of them were getting scared yet still watching it for some odd reason in which Beomgyu can’t figure out

“In-door voices please!” Beomgyu shouted in a teacher voice. The members jumped from shock, the show got them so tensed that the shout make them shit out their mouths. They all let out a collective sigh of relief when they realised it was just Beomgyu. They shoved themselves to make space for him, so Beomgyu just sat down

The smile on his face was eradicated when he realised that he was sandwiched between Huening Kai, and Soobin. He was sat awkwardly his back tense and straight, hands clenched on his thighs, that he held tight together. Soobin put his arm around Beomgyu, and nonchalantly said 

“You feel better now? I bet being unwell made your body ache as well” his eyes dropped down to his crotch.

“Yeah” Beomgyu uttered 

“Little cramped aren’t we?” Kai remarked

Fuck did Soobin tell Kai?!??! Please no

“You’re right” Soobin agreed “lets make space, Beomgyu come here”

“You really don’t need to- Oh ! Okay” Soobin effortlessly raised Beomgyu and placed him on his lap. Soobin was manspreading and placed Beomgyu right between his big thighs, Beomgyu fitting between them, just perfectly. 

“Save some for the rest of us you greedy cow” Kai joked

“Fuck no” Soobin lowered his head to Beomgyu’s ear. 

“Don’t get too horny, I didn’t tell them yet so no dicks yet” Soobin sinisterly whispered, planting a mocking kiss on Beomgyu’s temple. Kai noticed, a kissed Beomgyu’s neck, and gave Soobin a competitive glare. Beomgyu realised that two giants were fighting over him, he was scared, but the thought of being double dicked, by two titan cocks made him horny. He moaned, not loudly, but Soobin and Kai heard. Soobin lifted his right leg horizontally, wrapped it around Beomgyu, and locked it in place with his left leg, keeping Beomgyu’s legs held tight. Beomgyu was locked in place between Soobin’s legs, his pussy reacted but they were held tightly, so nothing could be seen. 

“Slut” 

Soobin put his arm around Kai, pulling him closer. He kissed his cheek, trailed his head down to his neck, then kissing and sucking on the skin. The two looked at eachother in the eye, and pecked on the lips. Subsequently breaking the tention. Beomgyu looked around him and realised he was surrounded by 4 grown men

Fuck

All of them were man-spreading, wearing skinny pyjama pants 100% chance of having no underwear. Yeonjun had his leg lifted resting over Kai, his knee pressing on his bulge. The outline of all of their dick, Soobins bulge pressed against Beomgyu’s back. Kai’s European snake trailing down to his thigh, you could obviously see the lump, but no one cared? Yeonjun was wearing shorts, and there were tighter, Beomgyu could see Yeonjun’s balls as well, with his dick sticking out of the fabric. Taehyun was playing with his, his girth was crazy, you’d think it was a cheese wheel. He wrapped his hand around it, the outline of his foreskin, making it easy to make out what it looked like. And, Soobin was rubbing his dick on Beomgyu’s back, they had sex 3 times yesterday, The base was rubbing on his lower back, and the tip was rubbing on the middle. A scene of the main lead showering naked popped up, making Yeonjun burst out talking about being horny, he pulled his shorts down and started fapping, Kai looked at Yeonjun’s dick

“Damn hyung, since when were you so big?” He laughed, Yeonjun looked up, with his eyes rolling back, he started moaning as he got close, he was ready to make a mess with his cum, but luckily Kai got a tissue, grabbed Yeonjun’s penis and let his semen empty out on the tissue. Yeonjun cums a lot, so the tissue barely held the load, so Kai ran to throw it away. Beomgyu witnessed this, wishing that Fatty and the babies were inside him. Beomgyu can’t handle one big dick, but he adores the thought of having big strong men plunge their king cobra into him, which turns him on so much. He justifies his hornieness for being a young man in his 20s, he’s hormonal and can’t help but think about sex.

Soobin lifted Beomgyu, as he got up.

“I wanna take a shower” He announced “Beomgyus joining me”

“Ok” they all said in unison. He carried Beomgyu to the bathroom, locked it and sat Beomgyu on the toilet. He grabbed Beomgyu’s head and started rubbing his head on his bulge. Beomgyu felt Soobin's hard dick dragging along his face. Beomgyu pushed himself away, and he pulled Soobins pants down, with Soobin’s cock shooting up and hitting Beomgyu’s face. He was so hard, Soobin was the only one hornier than Beomgyu in that room. He shot his face into Soobin’s cock gagging on the tip hitting the back of his throat. His mouth barely fitting all that meat. He sucked his cheeks in, making Soobin use both hands to grab Beomgyu’s hair, looking up it just felt so good. He fucked Beomgyu’s’ face, pushing his head along his long length. Beomgyu choked on it but he didn’t care, Beomgyu started trailing his fingers up and down his wet clit, rubbing it hard, he even stuck his fingers inside a little. He used his other hand to grab Soobin’s big thigh. Beomgyu only sucked harder, Soobin tried to keep quiet because the walls weren’t soundproof.

Crash. The bathroom door flung open

“What’s going on in here !” Kai demanded. His expression went blank seeing what he walked into. Soobin looks like a deer caught in headlights, being completely shirtless, with his pants held down to his thighs, ass out facing towards Kai. Beomgyu was fully naked, and sat on the toilet, Soobin’s dick slipped out his mouth, making uncomfortable eye contact with Kai. However, Kai’s eyes caught Beomgyu’s pussy fully out in the open, with his fingers partially in it. Beomgyu swiftly held his legs together and pulled Soobin before him. 

 Kai stuck his head out the window “EVERYONE COME HERE RIGHT FUCKING NOW!” Kai ordered. Beomgyu heard numerous stomps towards the bathroom, as Kai walked towards him, pushing Soobin aside, picking Beomgyu up and lifting one leg, so his pussy was explicitly exposed. The remaining 2 entered the bathroom, seeing Beomgyu’s pussy staring directly at them. Beomgyu tried lifting his leg to cover himself, but Kai manhandled him, grabbing both thighs and ripping them at a perfect 180° angle, still being picked up by Kai. 

“Look at this” Yeonjun grinned.

“Wait” Kai paused, his eyes moving towards Soobin, with his cock still out hanging “You knew, and didn’t tell us?” 

“I was meaning to, but-” 

“That’s just not fair,” Kai protested. How could you gatekeep?” Soobin pulled Kai’s sweatpants down partially, only revealing his bwc.

“Look at how big you are” I was only loosening him up for you. He picked up Kai’s dick and compared sizes. Kai’s dick being 2 whole inches longer, and significantly thicker than Soobins. He grabbed Kai’s hand the two of them stuck their fingers in Beomgyu. 

“I was just loosening him up, but all of you know now so you wanna fuck him or not?” Soobin attempting to mediate. He took Beomgyu from Kai and walked towards the shower Kai started stripping, taking his shirt off. Yeonjun followed signalling Taehyun to follow. Beomgyu saw how big and muscular they all were, featuring the porn star dicks they all had. All of them walked into the shower, Soobin sat Beomgyu on the floor, because his muscles ached. Beomgyu looked at all of the tips staring directly at him. Yeonjun grabbed Beomgyu’s thigh and lifted him, dragging him against the wall. He started circling his clit, using one finger to rub his vagina. The rest joined in, and Beomgyu’s leg was flung over Yeonjun’s shoulder, making him do the splits practically, the other leg was stood straight on the floor. All of them were playing with his pussy, Soobin kissing Beomgyu on the lips, playing with his tongue; Kai sucking his neck, Taehyun licking, and biting his nipples, Yeonjun licking, kissing, and rubbing his face along his legs, and thighs. Beomgyu had permission to make noise now, so he whined as the hungry men explored his body. 

Yeonjun started jerking off Taehyun, and Taehyun reciprocated. Soobin took a break from tounging Beomgyu, to start kissing Kai. The two made out while Soobin grabbed Beomgyu’s hand, and placed it on his dick, signalling Beomgyu to start stroking, he used his other hand to grab Kai’s ass. All of them were still playing with Beomgyu’s vagina

“Fuck it, before I cum at least” Yeonjun hastily said. Forcing his dick into Beomgyu's hole. Beomgyu let out a sharp yelp as the girth of Yeonjun’s cock tore through the narrow hole. 

“Greedy fucker” Soobin said as he pushed past Kai and Taehyun, trying to put his dick in as well, but failing. Yeonjun filled the hole up. Soobin plunged his fingers in the narrow gap, and pulled, allowing an opening for him to slide his dick. Beomgyu wailed as the second dick stretched him out so much. Soobin and Yeonjun grunted as the tight squeeze squished their dicks together. Yeonjun was pushing his dick in from the back, Soobin was in front, and Beomgyu’s leg was still raised, leaving an opening for Kai. He rushed over, and didn’t even make an opening, he plunged his rock-solid monster cock with all the force he could, fitting below Yeonjun and Soobin’s dicks. Kai was too horny and impatient for all the fiddling, he wanted his dick wet by any means necessary. Beomgyu shrieked at this point, his stomach burned, and his pussy felt like it was going to tear. 3 fat dicks were inside of him, none yet fully in, scrapping along his wet vaginal walls.

Kai pushed further, burrowing his dick deeper, until he felt the cervix, he took a step forward to make it further until he was in. A wide grin appeared on his face as the pressure tickled his cock so much, the friction from Beomgyu’s vagina, and the other two’ dicks felt so good. Beomgyu’s leg started giving out, but he was being pressed up against the wall anyways. Soobin pushed further and Yeonjun followed after, Beomgyu screamed more, all 3 of the dicks penetrated the cervix they felt like their dicks were going to get cut off it was so tight. The 3 started thrusting unsynchronised, pushing themselves in at different intervals. Beomgyu was getting a constant stream of dick, there was a dick rubbing against all areas of his vagina. He stopped screaming after his vagina started to loosen up but moaned from the sensation. All of them started speeding up as they started to cum. The clapping sound was more frequent, the 3 men started moaning, and grunting as the climax was near. All of them busted at around the same time. Just like last time, there was so much semen it never would fit inside of Beomgyu’s uterus, but this time there was air spaces between the dicks, so cum could escape. The cum shot out, onto the member, but Yeonjun wiped the cum off Kai’s dick and licked it off, it wasn’t thick, and it had a sweet aftertaste. It took a minute for all of their cum to fully empty, and they pushed Beomgyu to pull their cocks out, Beomgyu fell and laid Beomgyu on the floor. He laid on his back, legs fully spread as cum leaked out, his pussy was so stretched you could see into the hole, he was a little knocked out. 

Kair turned around realising Taehyun wasn’t included in his. He had been getting off watching the whole thing go down.

“Awh poor Taehyun” Kai walked behind Taehyun and hugged him from the back, Kai intentionally pressed his strong sexy body on Taehyun’s back, and kissed his ear, rubbing his dick along Taehyun's asshole. The other two turned around questioningly. Mentioning that Taehyun didn’t get to fuck Beomgyu, the other two ran over. Soobin hugging him from the front, pressing Taehyun’s head against his chest. Yeonjun knelt and started sucking Taehyun, Soobin started fondling with Taehyun’s balls, while kissing Kai. Kai pinched and rubbed Taehyun’s nipples, and dragged his dick along Taehyun’s ass. The two made out, and started sucking hard on Taehyun’s neck, shoulders, and chest, leaving dark hickies. Yeonjun let out the dick, and started jerking it off, using his spit as lube, Taehyun moaned because Yeonjun was jerking so fast, Taehyun's eyes rolled back. Taehyun came on Yeonjun’s body. Pissed off, he pulled Soobin and Kai off, and order Tae to lick it off. He obeyed also obeying the order to leave the shower. 

Beomgyu felt sleepy but was awoken by warm water shooting at him, but it hit his face and eyes a lot, and went into his mouth as well, then he realised. I wasn’t water… it was piss.

Having cummed all of them needed to piss. Soobin read Beomgyu’s 19+ bl manhwas, and remembered a trend of piss kinks. 

“He wants to get pissed on I know it” the two looked a little grossed out “He gets off to that shit guys, he’ll probably swallow as well” Beomgyu was taken by surprised, but he has a piss kink, and was loving it. Someone was pissing on his vagina, giving him the last push to an orgasm, he squirting so much his pussy juice shot to the ceiling. The members pissed more agressivly, on his face body, and feet. Until they ran out of piss. Soobin turned the shower on, to the warm setting

“Clean up, you stink of piss” Soobin walked away, but paused “Also you’re sleeping by yourself, don’t get to horny thinking about me”

[barkspawn]

harvey needs love!!! how abt farmer trying to get him all hot n bothered in public bc he is all shy and awk in public but gets his revenge when he takes hr home. they cn be dating or married idrc

Oh lord this took a few tries. Google scarred me. btw.

Harvey was a very private man. He knew everyone in town as their doctor and he figured that it was best if that's how it stayed. 

Well, until Amelia came along and decided to make the effort to learn more. They were fast friends, sharing coffee each morning and the occasional drink at the saloon. It wasn't long before he developed feelings for her. Thankfully, the feeling was mutual. 

He talked her into having her annual visit and for the first time in his entire career, he dropped his professionalism thanks to that longing look in her eyes. He had just been standing close and listening to her heart. Their eyes met and, well, the doctor's appointment ended the second their lips touched. 

It certainly ran much longer than an annual physical. 

Ever since, the occasional drink and morning coffee turned into them being completely inseparable. It had been so long since Harvey had a girlfriend that the word felt odd on his tongue. Still, he always kept an air of professionalism when in town or around others. 

Unfortunately for him, Amelia was seeing that as more of a challenge. 

The Stardew Valley fair was today and she planned on flustering the man more than she had before in an attempt to ensure a fun evening. He may be shy out in the town, but he was very much outgoing in private. It was a pleasant surprise. 

He showed up at her house precisely an hour before they were meant to go to the fair. Judging by the hungry kiss she'd earned just for opening the door in only her pajama bottoms and a thin tank top, her plan today was going to be more fun and a lot easier than she had hoped. 

They walked into the fair, Amelia's eyes widening as she saw just how transformed the entire town square was. Hand-in-hand, they explored, stopping every so often to watch people play some games. She forewent the fortune teller, the entire concept scaring her a little bit. Harvey had gone into the tent, leaving her outside to talk to Rasmodius. Before she knew it, she was setting up her grange display, Harvey tending to a child’s scraped knee. She stepped back to admire her setup, smiling in pride as she stood beside Marnie. 

“Mar, your display looks amazing. That wheel of cheese is incredible,” she praised, already resolving to not even look at the display of fruits and vegetables that she grew displayed as Pierre’s display. 

“Thank you, Amelia. It's always a lot of fun to set up,” she sighed, a small smile playing on her lips, “and given that all of these people from out of town don't know any better, they try to buy the things in the display after the winner is announced.”

Amelia laughed, the older woman shifting a little closer to speak in a lower voice, “so you and Dr. Harvey seem to be getting on well, hmm?”

Amelia couldn't help but smile and look over toward the man, who was praising the child for being so brave. 

“Yeah, I think so,” she replied, not worrying about her volume. It wasn't a secret. 

“Do you love him?”

Amelia almost convinced herself that she definitely misheard the woman. After a moment, she laughed, a little awkwardly. 

“We've only been dating for a season… And besides, I'm not even sure I'd know if it was that instead of… Well, infatuation.” 

Marnie touched her arm, smiling at Amelia, “you'll be able to tell.”

Amelia gave her thanks, turning as Harvey made his way back to her side. His smile was a little wider as he returned, bending and pressing a short, sweet kiss to her lips.

She hummed in surprise, not used to experiencing any form of public affection. She smiled brightly as both of his hands held hers, “Doctor Harvey! Kissing your girlfriend in public, what's gotten into you?” she teased, knowing that sometimes she would use the doctor title to tease him with various effects. 

Maybe her little mission would be easier than she thought. 

“Sorry, dear,” he laughed, brushing some loose strands of hair behind her ear, “just having a good day I guess.”

She shook her head, feigning surprise, teasing like she was reading a headline, “doctor finds his day getting better with every skinned knee.”

His eyebrows shot up, “oh, Yoba, no, that is what it seemed like, isn't it?” he let out an embarrassed laugh, “I just had a good fortune reading,” he slipped his hand into hers before starting to walk again, “I promise I'm not that bad.”

Bingo. 

She stood on her toes, her lips right against his ear as she teased, “you certainly could be.” she pressed a kiss where his jaw met his ear before smiling innocently up at him. She was pleased to find his face a lovely crimson. He looked shocked, though she swore there was something behind that expression. Finally, he cleared his throat and laughed, the sound a little shaken as they walked toward the food. 

“I have no idea what I'm going to do with you,” he sighed, teasing before squeezing her hand, “and I'm on to you.”

She grinned, almost too excited by her terrible jokes (that hopefully wouldn't be jokes for long).

She rests her head on his shoulder, her voice only low enough for him to hear though her expression stays innocent, “I know exactly what to do with you and it does involve being on one another, I guess. I was mainly thinking of me being on yo–”

“Amelia,” he cut her off, his voice a mix of stern and pleading, a laugh still behind it, “you know that my… resilience is not as strong as yours.”

He was still joking, which was a good sign. And it was very true. When they first kissed, it was almost primal. They were both starved for touch and couldn't get enough. She worried at first that was the only reason they went as far as they did that day in the exam room. She had never felt that way when it came to sex. It turns out the need for touch only partially grazed the surface. They really just needed someone to be there with them and for them. The sex was an added bonus. 

He wasn't necessarily super strong, but she was small enough to where, with a wall, he could hold her up, losing himself in her, literally and figuratively. Still, at this point, anywhere in the farmhouse was fair game. 

She smirked to herself, shaking her head. It was all like she was back in her early 20s and reliving the puppy love of her previous relationships.

Though this was different. Deeper. 

Was Marnie right?

She shook off the thought and looked up at Harvey, who then shifted his arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. 

“Wow, that fortune teller really said something to make you affectionate, huh?” she teased, her arm moving around his waist, her thumb slipping under his shirt subtly, touching the bare skin beneath and hooking into the waistband of his pants. She felt him tense before they approached the grills, pulling apart to get some burgers and exchange pleasantries with Elliott and Gus. Once they had their plates, she walked him to a picnic table that had one of those cheap plastic tablecloths on it. He gave her a curious look, smirking as she smiled innocently across the table at him. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” she teased, adjusting her sundress before leaning forward on the table, leaving him with a direct view of her cleavage, which he couldn't deny looking. 

“Tell me, dear,” he looked back up to meet her eyes, “are you trying to,” he cleared his throat, shifting a little as someone from out of town sat at the other end of the table, “...embarrass me?”

She laughed aloud before pulling out her phone and quickly typing out a text to him, his eyebrow rising curiously:

Amelia 1:34 pm: I'm just trying to give you some hints about what I plan to do to you when we get home.

Amelia 1:34 pm: oh, and one more quick hint, dear

Amelia 1:35 pm: I'm not wearing anything at all under my dress. 😘

She hit send and placed her phone on the table, unable to hide her smile as she watched him pull his phone out. She took a bite of her burger, watching as he took his phone out and froze, reading her texts. After a long moment, he looked back up at her, eyes wide and cheeks burning. 

She took advantage of his stunned silence, licking her lower lip and running her thumb over it as if she was wiping away crumbs. 

Harvey shifted, leaning forward and leaning on his elbows so he could talk, his voice low, “message received loud and clear,” he watched as she laughed, her smile full of mischief as she leaned in so they were barely a foot apart, his whisper almost pleading, “now please behave. I’d rather the whole town not catch me like this.”

“Why, are you hard?” Her voice was a purr as she refused to take her eyes from his. 

Harvey pulled back and looked around, worried someone might have heard. He laughed a breathy laugh, trying to play it off as if he was not flustered at all, “Amelia, what has gotten into you?”

She lifted her burger to take another bite, humming out her answer before doing so, “I was hoping you would.”

Harvey nearly choked on his drink, which he really should have known better than to take a drink right now. She stood and feigned worry, “Harv, are you alright?” he had his hand on his chest, clearing his throat before looking up at her suspiciously as she continued, “do we need to go get your inhaler from the clinic?” 

She watched as his expression changed, his eyes narrowing, “I absolutely do,” his voice was laced with the tension she had built. Somehow, his voice seemed to have the effect on her that she had on him. 

He leaned forward as if he were picking something up, using her to hide the fact that he even had to adjust himself. He stood, standing close before bending to press a small, firm kiss to her forehead. 

“Everything I need is in exam room one,” he commented, back to his nice-town-doctor facade, “or it's about to be.”

[mischas]

Happy almost Valentine's Day! How would you have done 3x15 differently for R+M or even 3x14 going into 3x15? I feel like S3 was their shot at a good Valentine's Day, if Johnny & Sadie (the insufferable apple doesn't fall far from the insufferable tree) weren't in the way.

Hello! Sorry for the delayed response.

From the end of 315 I think the story could've been salvaged if Ryan had just showed up to the trailer like the narrative was pointing to. Like I get it, they pulled a cute little bait and switch on us for shock value, but him choosing to end the night with another girl sealed their fate in the eyes of the writers. Marissa's thing with the locket is heavy handed as fuck and genuinely annoying to me but everyone in their universe likes to forget that Marissa feels things and sometimes/most times those things take some fucking time to get over. Like goddamn. I know the Johnny era was annoying to Ryan but they treat him like a touch-starved uwu boy and it makes me sick. Like so what if Marissa was genuinely heartbroken over Johnny dying? Does that erase Ryan giving a shit about Marissa herself who's facing loss and trauma? This is the era where I truly don't recognize him.

So anyway I'd have him show up to the trailer, still confused about where they stand but giving it one final effort, telling Marissa once she awakes the next morning that he'll give her space but that he still loves her and that he thinks she loves him and hoping they can fix all those things that are broken between them. And I'd have her wake up from her Johnny stupor for the first time in months. The way they stretch this plot is so beyond comprehension, honestly. Apparently that was the only way they could figure out how to have Marissa and Kaitlin at odds which is insane.

I wrote a fic a while ago that starts with a similar thing in the trailer.

If we're going off the end of 314, I'd have liked to see Johnny not die but get injured (while maybe also injuring Ryan since he was also on the cliff) and it also being the catalyst for Marissa to wake up from her Johnny madness. This is also something I've written previously but I will not be linking because I don't like it as much, lol. But I think a s3 RM V-day could be very special and very romantic if the writers gave one lick about them beyond 308/309. I see them taking a trip to the Santa Monica pier to ride the ferris wheel and playfully fighting about cheese sticks vs ding dongs.

Going back to 315 real quick I cannot BELIEVE they have Ryan expecting a lighthearted V-day the day after her friend's funeral like lmao they did not give one solitary fuck about character accuracy at this point and just wanted to push the S**** storyline on us because will anyone please just make this poor suffering boy smile for once??

[korasonata]

Story time: AKA, how my mornings going.

We got the storm of the century overnight. Snow plastered against the door, roads aren’t plowed, we live on a side street that doesn’t get plowed. The type of storm we got was something called thunder snow, which is extremely rare. This is essentially a thunderstorm with snow instead of rain, meaning not only is it snowing like a bitch but there is now also crazy ass lightning everywhere. Roommate has a 4am shift and almost an hour drive to work.

Roomate wakes me up at 3:00 in the morning because we are snowed in and her car is stuck in the driveway. Me, still in pyjamas, throws on a jacket, grabs a shovel and starts digging. Dead quiet outside. Dark as all hell. It’s 3:00 in the bloody morning. Struggled with it for about an hour before we manage to unbury it enough to get it out of the driveway to where it promptly gets stuck 2 feet up the road. Context, we also live at the top of a massive god damn hill (also not plowed), at the bottom of which is a set of stop lights and an intersection. We are literally just trying to get the car back into the driveway at this point, debating calling a tow truck to move us 2 goddamn feet, if we had to do that hill today we were going RIGHT through that intersection, green light or no.

Have pulled out an ice scraper and am now physically scraping the pavement trying to get the tires some form of traction, enough that we can simply move it back to the driveway. Snow is so deep I can barely walk. Have fallen over so many times and my pyjamas are now completely covered in snow. Finally manage to get the car to move forward, at which point I am horrified to try to put it in reverse because we’ve now been out here for an hour and a half and I don’t want it to get stuck again. I’m the one in the car now, my roommate physically pushing the car from behind when I finally get it to move, and I decide my best bet is to just keep it moving. So now there’s me behind the wheel, car shaking and sliding and revving ferociously with it’s just barely gained traction as I drive it around the block, and me praying against all odds that the rest of the goddamn city it still asleep because I literally cannot stop if another car happens to be coming the other way when I go to make the turns at each intersection of road. Roommate is stood outside the house watching the clock debating if she needs to come after me on foot and dig me out on the next street over. Don’t even have my phone on me because I wasn’t expecting to be outside at 3:00 in the morning.

Finally get the car back into the driveway. It’s now 4:30 am, roommate was supposed to be at work half an hour ago, I’m not supposed to start till 9 but my car is now blocked in by hers and lord knows we aren’t trying to move that again. I’ve done my best to shovel out the driveway but it’s still snowing and most of what I started is already covered back in again. At which point we decide we are both taking a snow day and calling in to work, go back inside, put on the kettle. It’s 5 am, I’m boiling us tea, roommate’s made us a platter of grapes and cheese. Roommate’s already called in to work, they were very understanding. We are watching Ratatouille.

7am, haven’t slept. Been up since 3:00 shovelling bloody snow. Not supposed to start till 8:45, but figure I’ll give the boss an early heads up that I will not be coming in today as I physically cannot leave my house. Am also now hella tired and am looking forward to simply sleeping for the rest of the day because I’ve now been up all night.

Manager picks up the phone. I explain all of the above. Tell her that I’ve been up since 3 am shovelling snow, car got stuck on the road, just barely managed to get it back into the driveway, they still haven’t plowed and are likely not going to, I physically cannot get out of the driveway, I don’t think it’s safe to drive right now. She goes “well keep trying, call again in 3 hours to let me know for sure”

What…would you like me to do? Shovel the entire goddamn road? Walk 2 and a half hours in knee deep snow? Descend from the sky’s via helicopter?

8am, get a text from my father. He’s warning me how bad the roads are, giving me the heads up that I’ll need to get up early to shovel if I have to work today. Spectacular advice. Why the hell didn’t I think of that.

He suggests I take the bus, as he knows my streets are never plowed and I likely won’t get my car through (truth). Closest bus stop is over 2 kilometres away, no idea when it comes, streets and sidewalks are still not plowed, not even sure the buses are running today.

Is now 8:30 am. Have been up since 3 am. Have already attempted to call in to work, I just want to sleep for 10 bloody minutes. At which point my father goes “stay there, I’ll come drive you to work”. Which gives me half an hour to be up, dressed, packed an overnight bag, and taken precisely one bite of a 3 day old pastry that I found in the kitchen before I’m once again trudging through the snow because I have to walk to my dads car 2 blocks over because roads are still not plowed.

9:30 am. Get to work. Have reached a state of exhaustion where I am so tired that I almost have energy. I brought a giant ass thermos of the strongest caffeinated tea I own. I also bought 2 Monster energy drinks, each of which contains about 160mg’s of caffeine. Why the fuck are there so many customers here.

10:45 am. Manager has already given me 2 carts of stock to do and plans for more. Have just barely managed to finish the paperwork, which miraculously, by whatever grace of higher power there is, all managed to be in order for once. It’s still relatively slow, have only had a couple of drop offs and a guy buying an envelope for a birthday card, but that’s it. Am praying against all odds that nobody wants to ship anything Priority Worldwide today. I’ve discovered 6 days worth of mail transfers that haven’t been touched because lord knows I’m the only person who ever does any goddamn paperwork.

11:30 am. Starts getting busy. Had a customer with the most complicated order on the planet. He’s picking up, dropping off, shipping out to multiple different countries, he’s got customs owing on his package, he needs a return envelope for a different letter. The woman behind him is dropping off a pre-paid package for a business and she looks like she’s getting antsy. I’ve got a lineup, the phone is ringing, and I’m the only one here. Vision starts to go blurry because I haven’t slept in 24 hours. Me, in my sleep deprived haze, have the sudden realization that bee season started 3 days ago and I am in fact viable to receive such, because a big old box of live bees is exactly what I need right now.

3:00pm. I’ve finished my Monster and my tea. I feel no more awake at all, but my insides feel like they are vibrating. My ears are ringing. I am barely conscious, don’t know how I am even standing right now. I want the fucking bees. I would GLADLY take a box of fucking bees over the package I just received. Man comes in with a big box taped all around. He is moving to a different province and he is shipping this to his new address. Doesn’t tell me what’s in it, just says he needs it shipped regular parcel with a signature. Cool. I can do that. Finally something simple, I think. Print out the label, affix it to the box, give him the pin pad, he pays, I give him the tracking information, I pick up the box. Guy goes “yeah this is the last of my firearms that I’m shipping out, they wouldn’t fit in my car.” He walks away. Takes me a second to realize what’s just happened because I haven’t fucking slept.

I am now holding a big ass box of fucking guns.

…

WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH A BIG ASS BOX OF FUCKING GUNS?!

Am panicking now. I don’t even know the proper protocol for shipping firearms because we are a tiny ass post office and nobody fucking ships firearms. Call my supervisor. “So you know how you’re TECHNICALLY allowed to ship certain dangerous goods by regular mail within the country because it gets delivered by truck and not by air?” “…Yeah?” “How flexible is that rule”

The Manager comes over. The Manager who has never touched a single thing in the post office in her entire life.

“What’s wrong?” “I think this box is full of guns.” “What, THIS box?”

MANAGER PICKS UP THE BOX AND SLAMS IT ON THE COUNTER.

Supervisor arrives, pulls out the manual. There is hope for me yet. Turns out I HAVE actually pretty much followed protocol (literally don’t ask me how). There is a section on shipping firearms and I’ve done pretty much every step correctly accept for the first one, which, given, is actually probably the most important step, which essentially boils down to you need fucking special permission to ship firearms (although it says the customer is supposed to call so I might be off the hook for this one). Not only that, the customer has managed to fuck me over even more with the fact that the return address he wrote down on the label I gave to him is the same as the shipping address. Meaning in order to “send it back” or “refuse it” I would have to return it to sender. Which is the same bloody address as where he’s trying to send it to.

My shift is done at 5. I don’t leave until almost 6. Customers keep lining up despite the fact we are closed. Am severely regretting my decision to let people talk me into coming in to work today.

6:30, I finally get home. The plow has finally dug out the road. The plow which, incidentally, has pushed all of the snow into the base of my driveway. So despite the fact that the roads are now clear, I somehow have MORE fucking snow than I did at 3:00 in the morning.

I am. So fucking exhausted.

[conflictandscotchblog]

Lost in the Flood

In the future, when bad weather is forecast, and you are bombarded with news flashes to ‘stay off the road’ or ‘emergency vehicles only’, but you think, ‘it’s not too bad, I can go out’ do me a favor: don’t.

A few weeks ago we had a downpour over night, but by early afternoon, nothing but blue skies. With that, met a friend for a walk in the park, then she and I went to get coffee and something to eat at a local diner.

That’s when I learned that blue skies doesn’t always mean smooth sailing.

Just as our coffees and muffins arrived at our table, a customer came in to pick up an order, then added, “Please hurry up, Route 206 is closed and it’s a parking lot.”

My friend turned to me, a worried look in her eyes, because that was her way home.

A few back and forth between us, other customers, and the manager we figured a route home for her. Left the diner, took some odd turns that seemed to be counter intuitive for her to get home, but get home she did.

Said our goodbyes, then it was my turn to find my way home.

Turns out, it wasn’t going to be easy.

I took some back roads to bypass another highway that was bumper-to-bumper, and popped back out just two lights from home.

Clever me.

My heart dropped when I saw the road straight back to my house was closed. Not deterred, I knew another way, a long way, but a way to get home.

Headed away from the closed road, with the intention of getting to the town of Flemington, then a left up Church Street to Amwell Road, and straight back to Hillsborough (were I lived). But, about halfway there, I had another idea.

There was a road that also cut up toward Amwell, and was about half the distance than the one in Flemington, so I made a left straight into hell.

Wasn’t familiar with the area, but drove it a few times in the past. What I wasn’t expecting, in the dark, and with dozens of side roads closed, I would be stuck in a loop. I drove passed the firehouse and a local bar six or seven times. Just when I thought I found an exit, I’d see the reflection of my headlights in the water that covered the street.

Pass the firehouse, pass the bar, lather, rinse, repeat.

At one point in the loop, my friend from the park and diner called to see how I was. She was at one of her friend’s house, on speaker, and I could hear the other woman in the background. I explained my situation, like a mice in a maze trying to find the cheese. That’s when I heard the other woman say to my friend, ‘maybe if you can get him back here to my house, that would help’.

I only met this other woman two or three times, and I thought if was a very generous offer for a man she barely knew.

But at this point, if I could get off this hamster wheel, I was going home.

Miraculously, I eventually found the main highway, and headed back to Flemington, and my original plan. The only draw back was not knowing if Amwell Road was open. If it wasn’t, I was back to square one.

My friend was giving me real time updates, as to which roads were closed, and which roads where now open. Suddenly, she’s Charlton Heston and I’m Karen Black, trying to navigate a Jumbo jet through a flood (‘Airport 1975’ reference for those who have not seen the movie – you’re welcome).

It was her next idea that turned out to be my saving grace.

“Do you have any of your neighbor’s phone numbers?” she asked, “You can call them and see if the road is open.”

Great idea, with only one drawback: I knew some of my neighbors well enough to say hello, or help them shovel out their cars after a snow storm, but didn’t know anyone’s phone number.

Then I had my own flash of genius.

“Call ‘The Bottle King’ (local liquor store)” I said will real excitement in my voice, “look up the number, give them a call, and ask if Amwell Road is open.”

She did, and called back a few minutes later. Spoke to someone at the store and they believed the road was now open.

Turns out, I did have a friend’s number in the neighborhood.

It’s a long ride when around each curve in the road you expect to see a police barrier telling you to turn around and go another way.

But, this time, after three hours of what should have been a twenty minute ride, I pulled my car into my parking spot.

I was home.

[goo-stew-4-you]

Snowfall at the End of the World

silent. sweet, deafening whiteness atop a lonely hill overlooking the city. sit in it. feel the wetness dampen your jeans, numb your hands. feel the silence envelop you, lose yourself in it, just for a second. just for a minute.

shakes the water out of your ears. instantly the world becomes magnified, crisper. your sibling is yelling to you, their friends are laughing and you wipe a lonely tear from your cheek. where did that come from? laugh along, climb that steep, stiff snow to return to the peak. sled back down. rinse, repeat.

things have been more blurry lately. the control i thought i had is slowly slipping through my fingers. i’m always in control, it’s the only way i know how to function. i like to have a vision of the future, a plan of exactly how i will end up. it never matches up exactly, but at least i can forecast the storm. i like to know endings. all the relationships in my life have endings. most of them are not messy or sad or endings in the way you may normally think of them. i like to predict the way that we will interact in the future. i have a plan for my life, too. that’s where it’s getting fuzzy.

i want to be content with the mundane. i want to daydream about romance and then find it and live happily every after. i want that to be enough for me. i want everything that i do to be enough. i’m worried that for me to be happy i need to be phenomenal, and the odds of me being phenomenal are slim.

the last roadtrip i took with james was to camel’s hump mountain in vermont. this was a horrible weekend for me; my mind kept wandering to hurting and killing myself due to the new medication i was on, and he nor zac are able to interact in a way that is not surface level and humorous. everything means nothing to them. james and i were planning on hiking camel’s hump that weekend, the hardest part of the long trail, backpacking in, eating a meal in dehydrated, drinking wine and eating cheese at the top, on his insistence. we ended up having to turn back halfway through. i could not stay upright, my shoes lost traction and i would slip after every step. i was miserable, but i didn’t want to give up. james used to always say that i was such a trooper; i never complained about bumps or bruises, and i refused to give up a challenge. it’s probably a result of my willful stubbornness. we spent a second night at the beautiful home that zac was housesitting, owned by two yuppies, one of whom was a former employee of Al Gore and was the author of Baby Feminist and Baby Feminist 2, because your baby can’t learn everything about feminism in just one book. Basically, they were loaded, and we got to reap the benefits of their extensive travel and recently renovated farmhouse in the foothills of the Green Mountains. on our drive back, it all hit me at once. i was driving, a rare occurrence, and i had been chatting, seemingly to myself, as a lot of the conversations that i had with james seemed to feel like, when i started crying. i didn’t know what i wanted my life to be. i have always known what i want my life to be. that’s what drives me, gives me hope. having an idea of the outcome is what has given me guidance. i turned to james, hands on the wheel, and asked if i will ever be happier than this. i need to know if i will ever be able to be happy, or if this is it. i can deal with this, i can be content with this, but why should i chase an ideal of being happy if i’ll never be able to reach it. he couldn’t understand what i meant.

why should i chase being phenomenal, chase reaching satisfaction and happiness, chase community and support in the way that i want it, i need it, it if i will never be able to reach it? who has the answers for this? how can i ever know if it will exist for me?

i’m an engineer, at the end of the day. i operate with an end goal in mind. everything is a puzzle to me. i know what to expect, i just need to figure out how to get there. i wish i knew what to expect for my life, or i wish i could think about things differently than i do now.

deafening snow can silence the noise. sitting in the airport, being anonymous around anonymous people, can be refreshing. i don’t need to figure it all out. life does it all on its own.

[weasleyswizardpleases]

Funny Girl (Fred x reader, George x reader)

Summary: Being serious has never been your thing, but when you find yourself at the center of a conflict that tears Fred and George apart in the midst of the second wizarding war, it’s hard to find something to laugh about.

Warnings/Notes: Language, kissing, violence mentions, love triangle?, angst, arguing. Vaguely conceptually inspired by the musical of the same name. Written for @acosmis-t​ ‘s 2.2k writing challenge! 

You’re sitting with George outside of Lee Jordan’s flat, waiting for Fred to finish recording Potterwatch so you can all three grab dinner. You listen absentmindedly on a small radio George produces from his coat pocket, fiddling with your wand. 

“Rapier,” you laugh, “I know it’s called ‘pirate’ radio but it is a bit swashbuckling, don’t you think?” you say, poking fun at the moniker Fred’s chosen for the program.

“I suppose Lee thinks so too, this makes it the third program in a row where he’s called Freddie ‘Rodent’ instead. I’d laugh if we didn’t have the same last name!”

“Well, it suits you both. You’re devious as a couple of weasels and fuzzy, too,” you say, prodding at George’s springy ginger hair playfully. He grins and brushes you off, but your touch seems to stir something in him.

“What is it, did I hit your factory reset button or something?” George smiles halfheartedly, but his brooding becomes more apparent as he tries to cover it up. “C’mon, what’re you pouting about Georgie?”

“Y/n, I have to tell you something,” he says. Your heart sinks at the words. It sounds oddly serious.

“Oh, this can’t be good news,” you mutter, looking at him expectantly. He takes a deep breath.

“Well, I suppose it’s up to you whether it’s good or bad. But hey, look, you have to promise not to tell Fred if it winds up being bad.”

“Deal.”

“Y/N,” he says, turning down the radio, “I like you,”

“Well gee, I like you too. We’ve been friends for about nine years and you’re just now figuring out that you like my company? Some people, I swear.”

“No, I like you. I mean, I, uh, I have feelings for you! But it’s complicated.” Your jaw drops and your hand flies to your mouth.

“Oh! What? You mean-”

As you’re searching for the right words, the door swings open and Fred spills out into the hallway, tugging his long winter coat over his slim shoulders. You try to cover your blush, glancing between them. Fred and George. George and Fred. Your two best friends since first year, your greatest confidants, and now, the two people you trust most amidst the terror of the war. You know instinctively that to be with George would be to close a door to Fred, not just in terms of romance but also friendship. 

“Later,” you hiss excitedly in George’s ear. Fred eyes the two of you suspiciously, but before he can say anything, you’re mocking him boisterously. 

“Good show, Rodent!” you say, clapping him roughly on the back. George composes himself nervously and follows as you and Fred turn to leave. “How about a hunk of cheese? I’ll take you out for something real nice, maybe a wheel of gruyere,” you add. Fred chuckles and throws his arm around you. You’ve always had a more physical friendship with Fred, whether it’s snuggling on the couch or shoving each other about over who gets the better seat on the train. You hope that he can’t feel how tense George’s proposition has made you, and you wriggle out of his arms and jog ahead playfully. 

Because of the affectionate nature of your relationship, you’ve always suspected that Fred may have feelings for you, but never George. You’re blindsided by his confession, and you know it’ll only come between you. Your train of thought is interrupted when the boys ask if you want to come back to theirs for dinner instead of going out. You agree absentmindedly, and Fred steps away to call for takeaway. You willfully ignore George’s pointed glances and look around airily. 

“Y/N,” George says quietly, but forcefully. You sigh.

“Is there something wrong, George?” you say at a normal volume.

“Hush, would you? Well, have I made you uncomfortable or something? You’re being odd, Fred will wonder what’s the matter.”

“You haven’t told Fred?” you sing loudly, hoping to pull the other twin into the conversation. George smacks his forehead and groans, but Fred isn’t paying any attention.

“Y/N, can’t you be serious for one second?”

“Bloody hell, can’t you let me alone for one second?” you snap, surprised at the bite in your voice. George cowers and frowns, but Fred returns before the conversation can continue.

The next few weeks are relatively normal, and you begin to think that your strategy of avoiding any acknowledgement whatever of George’s advances is working. You avoid spending any time alone with George. Most people wouldn’t think it, but you know the twins keep secrets from each other sometimes, like any siblings do, and he obviously hasn’t told Fred about his feelings.

While you’re evading intimate moments with George, you take time to think: do you have feelings for him? The answer is, of course, yes. You’ve always thought he was more classically handsome than his brother, even though a lot of your classmates still couldn’t tell one from the other after years living with them. George’s face is slightly longer and more defined, and the severity of his features can be quite striking, in the right lighting. He’s also always struck you as more outwardly sensitive and caring, in that he notices your feelings more readily. If you’re having a bad day, George is the one to lend a listening ear. He’s seen you at your worst and apparently likes you quite a lot in spite of it.

Fred, on the other hand, is more like you in every way: he’s the louder one of the twins, more boisterous, a bit rougher looking. Like you, it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers, but once something gets to him, he’s quick to anger. Your tempers have rarely led you to fight, but when it’s happened George has always been there to smooth things out between the two of you. You’d even say that you’re slightly closer to Fred, although your relationship with him is more intuitive than your friendship with George- with George, you explain yourself, but with Fred, there’s no need. 

You’re pondering the situation on the boys’ sofa when Fred bursts through the door, looking quite cheeky. His shifty eyes belie some sort of mischief.

“Alright! Out with it, or I’m leaving before you get me with the bucket over the door trick again! I haven’t got any dry clothes,” you pout.

“Who’s to say there’s anything to tell?”

“I’ll believe that when you wipe the smirk off your face,” you counter. 

“What smirk?” he says, blushing. You raise your wand defensively. 

“Hey! I pinky promise, I’m not planning on pranking you,” he says. You wiggle your wand, raising an eyebrow.

“What are you planning, then? Tell me or I’m tying your shoelaces together with this thing.” 

“Fine, but would you put the wand down? It’s not a prank, I promise.” he moves to sit on the couch and you cower, giggling, sure that he’s at least going to go in for a tickle. 

“I’m not gonna tickle you!” he exclaims, but wiggles his fingers in your direction. The mere idea of it makes you shake desperately with laughter. 

“Stop! Ah! Liar!! Oh! Fred!!!” He lowers his hand. You eye him suspiciously. He sighs. You nod at his hands, as if telling him to put them away. He sighs again and sits on them. You regain your composure cautiously, but as soon as you look away he’s tickling your relentlessly, his hands at your ribcage. You howl with laughter, kicking and rolling away from him, but it’s no use. He pins you under his body on the couch and shoves one hand in your armpit. You’re nearly crying with laughter now.

“Mercy! Uncle! Ah!” you cry, and he pauses. His hips are situated between your thighs, which you’ve been trying to use to push him away, and his face is close to yours. 

“You want me to stop?” he asks teasingly, ghosting a hand over your ribcage, causing you to burst with laughter again. 

“Please! Fred!” He looks around, as if to an imaginary audience.

“What can I say, I know how to make a girl beg,” he says smugly. You swat him, bringing on another round of tickles, this time one hand at the nape of your neck and the other on your waist. You feel a bulge in Fred’s pants that makes you feel warm inside. The excitement of your scuffle has made you feel a bit happy go lucky. In another pause, you look up at Fred invitingly, even tilting your body into his just slightly. It’s not something you think about- you just do it.

He takes your invitation and suddenly his lips are on yours and it’s not a joke anymore, it’s just a really great kiss, rough and wet and full. His hips press into yours and you can feel his cock hardening. You keep going for a long time, too long, before you pull away. 

“Fred,” you say, panting with shock and excitement.

“Y/n,” he says, the same emotions playing across his face.

“We can’t.”

“Why not?” he says, running a hand over your thigh.

“George…”

“No love, I’m Fred, good guess though!” he kisses your neck softly and you push him away.

“Freddie! I’m serious, I don’t want to.” He looks at you, confused and resigned, and pulls away. You stand up and straighten your clothes.

“Well, I’ll be off then. Say, be a doll and don’t mention this to anyone?” You say in a droll transatlantic accent. You groan internally. Why are you being so weird right now? You slip into your shoes and shut the door behind you, your heart pounding.

You’ve never been much on dating. 18, still a virgin, only kissed one boy, your date to the Yule Ball. Most men view you as a friend, nothing more. You’re a bit funny looking, and you’ve never gotten anything on looks alone; it’s your personality that wins you friends. That’s how you became friends with Fred and George- you were a class clown, just like them, and the three of you have always been well liked for it. Fred and George, though, were tall and handsome, and unlike you, had a lot of luck where romance was concerned. Their girlfriends were always jealous of you, but you thought nothing of it, since you were practically one of the boys. You see now that they were right. How odd.

You’re so wrapped up in your thoughts that you don’t hear George coming up the stairwell as you’re descending, and nearly bump into him on the landing. 

“Oopsie!” you squeal. Oof, you think. I sound like a babbling idiot. “Oopsie poopsie!” you add, thinking that if you make it clear that it’s a little joke it’ll be less of a weird thing to say. George completely ignores your muttering and advances toward you, backing you into the corner.

“Y/n,” he says softly.

“George.”

“You’re blushing.”

“You’re standing on my foot.” He jumps back and looks down. He is not standing on your foot. “Gotcha!” you say, flicking him on the nose.

“You smell like cologne,” he says, inhaling.

“So do you.” He laughs softly and you scoot backwards, hoping to resist a second romantic encounter. He looks very handsome in the dim lighting of the stairwell, his eyes glimmering. You’re so close now that you’re nearly touching. You draw a deep breath, and before you can speak his lips are on yours. He’s softer and slower than Fred, but his kiss is deep and erotic. His hands move to the small of your back and caress you gently. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up as his lips move from your lips to your chin to your neck to your breast. You sigh with delight, but you hear the door at the top of the stairs open and push him away. You look up to see Fred, his face dark and crestfallen. You could crack the tension in the air with a spoon. You wrack your brain for a way to diffuse the tension, landing on jazz hands and a wry smile.

The boys frown, ignoring you, seemingly beginning to realize the situation. They look at each other in silence for a moment. “Tough crowd,” you mutter. 

“Oh, I see,” Fred says stormily. “Fine, you’re all his then.”

“What?” George asks, confused.

“You see the way I look at her. You had to know how I feel.”

“How could I know if you didn’t tell me? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“I thought if I told you, you might tell her! With your little late night conversations and all,” Fred says accusingly.

“How can you be jealous of me talking to our friend when you’re practically feeling her up at every opportunity?”

“It was never like that!” you protest.

“Not until today,” Fred counters. “Or did you forget about that when you ran into my brother?”

“Wait a second, did you two…?” George glances between the two of you suspiciously. 

“No!” you and Fred say in unison.

“We just kissed,” Fred says sheepishly. “Don’t worry though, I only beat you to her by a few seconds! You know what, come on up to the flat, we can take turns if that’s how it’s going to be!” He’s drunk with anger, his jaw clenched tightly.

“Oh my god! I just realized something!” you exclaim loudly, silencing both of them. You pause and drink in the quiet. “You two blokes look just alike!” you say in a thick cockney accent. George shrugs at you tiredly as if to say what the fuck. Fred spits as he turns to retreat to the flat.

“Go home, Y/n,” he says, shutting the door loudly. George just sighs as he stalks back downstairs, and you hear the bell ring as he exits through the front door of the shop. You slump to the ground, embarrassed and somehow feeling guilty in spite of the fact that you aren’t sure what you could have done to fix things between the three of you.

“I wonder if they’re related,” you mumble innocently, looking around at your audience of none. Why is it, you wonder, that you’re always funniest when nobody is around to hear it?

[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Don't Get Comfortable

How about Fry adopts a stray kitten and Bender hates it at first, but by the end of the drabble he adores it and lets it hide in his chest compartment.

~

Bender looked up from channel surfing as the door opened and Fry entered, dripping wet from the rain and hunched around something he was hiding in his jacket. Oh! A gift he’d gotten for Bender perhaps? Or something he’d stolen in imitation of him? Perhaps both!?

He barely glanced Bender’s way though before hurrying on towards the kitchen area with nothing more than a quick, “Hey Bender,” as he went by.

Annoyed and curious, Bender got up to follow him. “What’s in your jacket?”

Fry turned around to face him. Before he could do more than take a breath to respond though a loud complaintive meow answered the question for him. “I found a cat.” He pulled out a tiny orange cat who took it as an opportunity to meow loudly again. “A kitten actually. I’m not really a cat person usually but… just look at her. She was all wet and abandoned and alone on the streets in the rain, I couldn’t leave her out there. So I brought her home.”

Great, just want Bender needed, a little furry creature running around and being annoying. And being competition for Fry’s attention. Before he could voice his displeasure though the cat was screaming another complaint as Fry wrapped her a clean dishcloth to dry her.

He smiled down at her. “Sorry but I’m sure you’ll be happier when you’re dry. I know I don’t like to be wet.” He was already talking to her too, awesome.

“You’re not thinking about keeping her, are you?” Surely not, right? After all he’d just said himself that he wasn’t a cat person.

“Well uh… I was thinking about it. For a little while at least until we find a better home for her.”

Bender still didn’t like it but if it was just for a few days or even better, hours… “Fine. No more than a week though, got it?”

“Got it.”

The kitten meowed again as Fry placed her on the kitchen table. She shook herself out, making her still slightly damp fur stick out at odd angles.

Leaving her to explore the table, Fry turned to open the fridge. “Cats like milk, right? Except uh… I think ours is expired.” He pulled out the jug and opened it to give it sniff. Grimacing, he quickly pulled away from it and put the cap back on. “Yep. Whoops. Ugh.” He tossed it in the trash before turning back to look in the fridge gain. “You think it would be okay to give her a can of Slurm and some cheese puffs?”

“I don’t see why not.” Though Bender knew even less about cats than he did humans and didn’t care so he was certainly not the one to ask.

“Hmmm… that’s probably not a good idea. So uh… actually I should probably just go down to the store and get some cat food. You think you could watch her for a bit while I’m gone?”

“You’re seriously asking me?” Bender wouldn’t trust himself to keep a houseplant alive, let alone a kitten.

Fry gave him an innocent look though. “It’ll only be for a few minutes. You can handle that, right? All you got to do is make sure she doesn’t get into anything dangerous. Also, you’re the only one here so unless you want to go out and get the cat food in—”

“Nope. I’ll watch the cat.” As much as Bender disliked it, it was better than going out and being expected to bring back cat food.

“Awesome! I’ll be back in a few minutes.” And with that Fry was on his way back out of the apartment.

Bender waited until he heard the front door close before turning his attention to the kitten exploring the edges of the table. “Here’s the deal cat, you’re out of here in week or less. The sooner the better as far as I’m concerned. So don’t get comfortable.”

She turned towards him and approached with another loud meow.

“Don’t backtalk me, missy. And don’t go trying to be all cute and making Fry get attached to you so he’s sad when we finally get rid of you.” He pointed a stern finger at her to make sure she understood.

She meowed again as she rubbed her cheek up against his hand with the start of a rumbling purr. Okay so she was kind of cute. Bender wasn’t going to be fooled by it though, he was stronger than that.

***

A few minutes accidentally turned into a couple hours. Fry didn’t have much experience with cats and taking care of them and thus wasn’t sure what all one would need to do so even for a week. So he’d gotten everything he could safely afford in the cat isle of the pet store. Which was a lot of stuff. He had to steal the shopping cart to be able to get it all home. Luckily Bender had taught him how to do so without having the wheels lock up, unlike Bender though he’d return it later.

Speaking of Bender though, upon entering back into the apartment, he was sitting on the couch again.

“Sorry I took so long,” Fry said as he wrestled the shopping cart full of cat stuff through the doorway. “While I was there, I figured I should probably get other stuff for her too but wasn’t sure what to get so uh… I got everything basically.” He closed the door behind himself with a foot. “Where is she by the way?”

“She’s here.” Bender opened his chest compartment with one hand, gesturing to it with another.

Fry stepped closer to look inside. She was curled up in ball asleep inside him, purring softly. “Aw, cute!” And to think Fry had been worried that the two of them wouldn’t get along.

“Yeah, I know she’s cute. We’re still not keeping her for more than a week though.”

“Yeah, I know.” They weren’t cat people anyway so of course they wouldn’t keep her forever. That didn’t mean they couldn’t enjoy her while she was here though, Fry certainly intended to.

~

They're lying to themselves and each other, that kitten is now their baby and she's not going anywhere.

[skellebonez]

72 and 73 for a continuation/part 3 of that thing with Macaque impersonating Pigsy and then nabbing Tang because AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHALSKMGAOWMFE?

Exactly what does Macaque have planned... I wonder. Original Prompt! The Sequel!

Don’t you dare./You’re putting an awful lot of trust in them.

Everything was warmer than Tang had expected when he woke up.

The scholar wasn't sure what Macaque had given him, probably some stolen pain medication from the nearby hospital, but he must have giving him something at some point when he was still half out of it. Or even when he was unconscious. At least his head had stopped hurting so much. His eye was still sore and was certainly going to be bruised for days, but he would manage. He just wished he could see without his glasses.

He'd been taken... somewhere. He wasn't sure where. It didn't feel like the demon monkey had gone far enough fast enough to be outside the city at least, and Tang was certain he could hear cars honking far off. But he was hurt and he couldn't be entirely confident in his guesses. But he had to try to figure something out. Because Macaque wanted something that Tang knew he could not have under any circumstances.

There was a palpable fear running down his spine, icy and cold, as he waited for the demon monkey to return. He hadn’t seen him once since waking up, at least since waking up fully coherent, but there was no way he wouldn’t return soon. He had to have something up his sleeve, something that he would hold over Tang’s head... he worried, for a moment, if he would use his own form to hurt Pigsy... Tang had invariable hurt the chef more than he could possibly make up for in his knee jerk reaction... if only he had taken the time to think! Go to Sandy first instead of going to get the artifact... maybe MK would be safe at home right now instead of wherever he was.

He remembered somewhere, in the vague coherence of his concussion, Macaque had explained part of what had happened. Maybe he just wanted to gloat. He’d had this planned for a while, intending to sow discord between the group of MK’s friends to keep them distracted by using Pigsy’s form since he had the most to hide. Use it to get close to MK, hand him over to DBK to get something out of their plan for himself. Tang getting the artifact wasn’t planned, but it made things so much easier. And he had a much better plan now, one that he didn’t need DBK or “his brat” for anymore. He had Tang and all the encyclopedic knowledge his brain held. And that brain knew where the exact thing he wanted might be.

Maybe if he cooperated nicely he would let him go back home.

Tang just hoped that Pigsy would let him apologize when he did. Before he left. Because he knew he had no home to really go back to after this.

"Oh Scholar!" Macaque's voice echoed through the empty building, startling Tang from his thoughts. There was an odd warble to it at first, like the air around him was warping. "I have a little... incentive for you to cooperate. I know I said this could come after but, you know, I’m feeling nice and that little artifact you handed over helped grease the wheels with old DBK pretty easily. Never tell anyone I can't be generous."

Generous? The way Macaque said that made Tang feel he was being anything but. Surely there had to be some kind of trick to-

"M-Mr. Tang?"

“MK?” Tang asked quietly, not wanting to allow himself to believe it was him. Macaque was tricky, a shapeshifter, even his shadow clones of legend could probably shapeshift into whatever form he demanded. But the hope that rose in his chest hurt with the idea that it could have been a lie. What purpose could MK have served to the Demon Bull Family? Would the immortal monkey have really left him there and taken the time to make a clone to trick him when his Wukong disguise had failed so quickly?

But then again... he had believed his Pigsy disguise so readily, in his anger and sorrow muddled mind.

There were two blurs in front of him, judging by the way one of them hovered off the ground he assumed Macaque was holding “MK” in his tail. That smaller blur was tossed at him, and he let out sound of pain as his full body weight slammed into Tang’s stomach.

“Mr. Tang! You’re hurt!” MK said, grabbing onto his face and Tang could almost see the wince of sympathy pain on the younger man’s face. Just this once he was glad he was more nearsighted, even if his vision was bad overall. He heard MK growl, turning back to Macaque as he wrapped a protective arm around the scholar from beside him. “When I get my powers back I’m going to kill you.”

Tang had never heard MK sound like that before. Full of anger and rage and murderous intent. But it was too strong in his voice to be faked, at least that’s how it felt.

“Don’t you dare,” Macaque hissed out, and the room darkened around the two of them. “You may know how to fight, but you’re no match for me even at full power, not with your staff at the bottom of the ocean.” MK froze beside Tang, his hand gripping the fabric of his scarf behind his head as it shook in anger. “That’s what I thought...” The room brightened and Macaque chuckled, and if he wasn’t smirking Tang would have been surprised. “Now, whether or not you make it out of here alive is no skin off my back. Hell, it’d probably be better for me if I got rid of you both before Mr. Man of the Hour shows up. And he will. But in the meantime, we’re going to do three things.”

Macaque moved toward the door, tossing something in their direction. A basket of... something.

“I’m gonna let you two have some quality father-son time before we get the ball rolling.”

And then he was gone. Door opened and slammed shut faster than either could react.

“MK...” Tang started slowly, keeping his breathing even. “What happened on my birthday 4 years ago?”

It was an odd question, one that had clearly thrown the person beside him off. But it was a necessary question. He had to make sure this MK was real. Not a clone made to look and sound like him, and not Macaque in disguise again. No, he needed to know he could trust the person beside him. Hopefully Macaque had been just as through in trying to trick him as he had been in his Wukong disguise.

MK was quiet for a moment, clearly trying his best to remember, before answering. “Your... your apartment burnt down and Pigsy offered you a place to stay. We made you a cake at Pigsy’s and Mei brought everyone cheese tea. I drew you a portrait and you were a mess.” He chuckled, the memory bittersweet. “And you accidentally called me son. It was the first time you did something like that.”

Tang tensed for a moment before reaching over and pulling MK into a tight hug, sighing in relief. He and MK were the only two people who knew that part. There was no reason for Macaque to have asked such a simple but out of left field question to MK before faking him to trick Tang into cooperating. “MK, I am so sorry! I should have done something to stop him, I-I thought he-I should have done more!”

“It’s ok Mr. Tang,” MK said softly, holding his father figure back just as tight. “We’ll figure something out, we always do!” He pulled away from the hug, just enough to pick up the basket in front of them. “At least we won’t starve...”

He held something out and gently took Tang’s hand, pressing some kind of fruit into it. A... peach? No, a plum. It was too dark in color.

“MK... did he tell you what he wanted?” Tang asked, rubbing the skin of the fruit with his fingertips.

“No,” MK admitted, mouth full of plum before Tang could tell him not to eat it. He hoped that Macaque hadn’t tampered with the fruit. “Just that he needed me more than DBK did. Did he tell you anything?”

“Yeah...” Tang said softly, lifting the plum to his lips before taking a bite. If he had tampered with the fruit, to hell with it. He would rather die from poisoned plums than tell him what he wanted, but Macaque would have likely not done that unless it was something that wouldn’t kill him outright. His brain told him 'You’re putting an awful lot of trust in them' when he thought about what he would say, but after all that had happened he had to trust someone. Anyone. “He wants... MK... he wants me to tell him where... a copy of The Golden Fillet is...”

[ilovefandoms102]

Do Re Mi

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Reader

Summary: After breaking things off with Kelce, he wants you back after finding out you’ve been hanging out more with JJ....

Taglist:

@jeyramarie @drewswannabegirl @teamnick @jiaraendgame @agirlwholovescoffee @outerbongs @jaxandcomet @velyssaraptor @baby-pogue @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @must-be-a-weasley-92 @kaitieskidmore1 @ma10427 @ifilwtmfc @lasnaro @justcallmesams @judayyyw @lonely-kermit @gviosca @iamaunicorn4704 @jellyfishbeansontoast @fernweh-fangirl @runway-to-my-aid @eb15​ @hurricane-abigail​ @tangledinsparkles​ 

Note: This is for the lovely @maybebanks , thank you for giving me an amazing request so that I could use this gif(look at those biceps)! I hope this was ok! As always let me know what you guys think, and don’t forget to check out my new Rudy Pankow series here! 

PSA IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY ABUSE DO NOT READ THIS!

=====================================

What Kelce and I had from the beginning was toxic...

I was too blind to see how manipulative and abusive he was. The constant threats of leaving me, cheating on me, and of course me begging him not to. I fell into his trap. He would fill my head with negative thoughts, doing anything and everything to make me feel horrid about myself. All of my friends could notice the change in me, saying how I looked mentally drained all the time. 

Well, they weren’t wrong.....

======================================

“You’re such a fucking slut! Hanging out with those Pogues?! Really y/n?!” he shouted.

“They’re my friends! I don’t give a shit about your stupid rivalry against them K, they are good people!” I shouted back, running a hand through my hair. 

“Trash derseves to hang out with a slut like you then. You’ll fit right in.” he snarled.

“I’m so done with your bullshit Kelce! Fuck you!” I screamed, storming out of his house. 

“Don’t you dare walk away from me!” he yelled, coming after me. 

“I can’t take this anymore, I’ve been done for a long time now! You and your constant mental and physical abuse, I will not let you hurt me anymore!” I screeched, slamming my car door shut.

He banged on my window, demanding I open the door. He pulled as hard as he could on my door handle, no doubt almost breaking it. I sped off, going to the only place I knew I could find comfort.

=====================================

I pulled into the chateau, tears still streaming down my face. A sob wretched from my chest, my head falling to the steering wheel as I cried. It was pouring the rain as I got out of my car, slowly treading to the front door. My chest felt like it was caving in from how hard I was sobbing, my whole body convulsing inwards. The door opened and I saw a familiar looking blonde coming on the porch. His eyes widened, taking off to me. I ran into his arms, colliding with him.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” JJ asked, pulling back to look at my face.

“I couldn’t take him anymore JJ, I had to leave.” I sobbed, clinging on to his shirt. He pulled my head back to his chest, leaning his head on top of mine. 

“I won’t let him hurt you ever again y/n, you’re safe now.” he said softly, his fingers combing through my soaked hair. 

“I’m so sorry J,” I blubbered.

“What are you sorry for?” he chuckled.

“That they hurt you, and the others. They always hurt you.” I cried, thinking back to the times I had seen Kelce and the others beat JJ to a pulp.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle sweetheart, I know you did everything you could.” he whispered, kissing my hair. 

“I should have done more...I should have left a long time ago.” I mumbled.

“Hey why don’t you guys come in before you get sick!” Pope yelled, both of us laughing. 

JJ led me inside, John B. bringing both of us towels to dry off. I left my shoes on the porch, starting to shiver from the slight chill in the air. I was glad I had left some of my stuff here so I could change into some comfier clothes. John B. was kind enough to let me take a warm shower, even threw my clothes in his beat up washing machine. The boys hovered over me in their protective fashion. JJ made me a sandwich, arguing with Pope about what goes on the bread first, and John B. got me every blanket he owned as I sat on the pull out bed. 

“The cheese is supposed to go on the bread first JJ.” Pope insisted, hovering over JJ’s shoulder.

“Dude can you please just let me make her the fucking sandwich for god’s sake!” JJ shouted, chuckling as he slapped it together and threw it on a plate.

JJ brought me my favorite sandwich with the chips I left here, and of course a beer. I smiled widely at my best friend. He sat in front of me while the other boys sat on the opposite sides. 

“What happened?” JJ demanded, Pope and John B. tuning in. 

“We were just fighting, I honestly don’t even remember how it started...Then we got to talking about how he doesn’t like me hanging out with you guys, and I told him that you all were my friends and that I didn’t care what he said. He said some other mean stuff and then I just left.” I recalled, my eyes staying down as I ate.

“What mean stuff?” JJ inquired, raising a brow. I looked up at him, then to JB and Pope.

“Pope, let’s go get Kie and Sarah. I think y/n needs some girl talk.” John B. said, patting my shoulder.

“What did he say?” JJ demanded, his hard eyes staring intently.

“He...he called me a slut and said that I would fit in with you all since Pogues are trash.” I croaked, feeling the tears begin to rise again. 

JJ let out an angry huff, throwing his hat off. 

“I should kill that motherfucker.” he griped.

“He’s not worth it J. I wish I would have learned that a long time ago.” I sighed, setting my finished food to the side with my beer. 

JJ came beside me, his arm falling around my waist. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cause my heart to flutter. Since things with Kelce and I started declining, I had began to develop feelings for JJ. Both of us coming from similar home lives made our bond stronger. When I started dating Kelce, I thought I’d finally get away from the bad things that haunted me from my home. Turns out I ran into another abusive situation, but I always had JJ. He was my constant light that I needed when things went dark. I knew I could trust him with my life.

“You’re my best friend y/n, and I’ll be dammed if I ever let that fucker hurt you again. If you even think about going back to him I will drag your ass back here and chain you to this couch, you hear me?” he affirmed, his blue eyes burning with rage.

“Trust me that won’t happen, I’m done with him. You’re the best J.” I said softly, hugging him.

JJ squeezed me tight to him, silent tears flowing down my face again. I was so lucky to have friends like the Pogues, all of them had hearts of gold. I pulled back, smiling as I wiped some of my tears. JJ’s thumb came up to my other eye, gently wiping some away as well. We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time, a sudden change in the air. Both of us unconsciously moving our heads closer together. 

Then the door slammed open, causing us to jump apart from each other. 

“We brought movies!” Kie said cheerfully.

“And chocolate!” Sarah exclaimed.

“Yeah, too much chocolate.” John B. groaned as he and Pope lugged in some grocery bags.

I got up to hug my two girl best friends, all of us grouping together. They rubbed my back as I again started to cry, this time very loudly. Then I felt even more surrounded as the guys joined in our group hug. 

We baked, and watched comedy movies all night. I laughed until my belly hurt, the pure joy of being with my friends making my sadness go away even if it only would be for a moment. The sun was beginning to rise as we all fell asleep out in the living room. John B. and Sarah sharing a small air mattress that Sarah had brought, Pope got up to crash on the outside couch, Kie fell asleep in the floor, and JJ and I shared the pull out couch. 

=========================================

After that night, JJ and I had become a lot closer. We began spending a lot more time together, even doing odd jobs together. Weeks had gone by and people of The Cut and in Figure Eight began discovering that where JJ was I would be found and vice versa. Word got to Kelce that I looked cozy with JJ, and he was not happy. 

I was home alone, my dad was with JJ’s at Barry’s. A loud banging heard on my door. I crept to it, peeking out of the window to see Kelce. I dreaded opening the door, debating on just letting him sit out there. 

“Y/N! Open the fucking door right now!” he barked, his fist coming down on the door again. I waited another second, seeing if maybe he would go away. He barged in, my eyes wide at how angry he looked.

“Kelce,” I gasped.

“Who the fuck do you think you are embarrassing me by being seen with Maybank!” he sneered, coming closer to me. I backed away, cutting around my house so I couldn’t be cornered. 

“It’s none of your business who I’m with Kelce, we aren’t dating anymore!” I shouted.

“We had a fight y/n, we’re not over until I say we are.” he claimed, snatching my wrist. I tried to wretch my hand away, but he was too strong. 

“I told you I was done! I don’t want to be with you ever again!” I screeched. I felt pain on the side of my cheek as Kelce slapped me, falling to the ground. 

“You listen to me you little bitch. I don’t ever want you hanging with that piece of trash ever again, is that clear?” he hissed, using his hold on my wrist to yank me up.

“Fuck you,” I spat. 

In the next second, I was being pinned against the wall. Kelce’s hand grabbing my throat as he slammed me into the hard wood. He squeezed my pulse point, my breathing halted. I scratched at his hand as he lifted me higher, my air supply being cut off even more. My vision started to become hazy, black spots appearing in my eyes. I kicked my legs as hard as I could until they connected with something. Kelce dropped me to the ground, air whooshing back into my lungs. He looked at me with hard, angry eyes. As if I was the one in the wrong.

“This isn’t over,” he sneered, storming out of my house.

I coughed and gagged until I finally started to breathe normally again. I crawled to my room, dragging myself on to my bed. I curled up in my covers and sobbed. I wished so hard that I had never been stupid enough to date a Kook. I realized now that I was desperate to get away from my dad, snatching any opportunity to get out of this hellhole. I cried myself to sleep that night, not even harvesting enough energy to call JJ. He was all I wanted right now, but I couldn’t move....everything hurt.

===================================

The next day, I got a text from JJ saying everyone wanted to hang out. I groaned, hauling myself out of bed. My eyes almost bulged out of my head at the sight of the deep bruises on my neck. How was I supposed to keep this from them? From JJ? I couldn’t tell them, JJ more than likely would end up in real jail this time if he went after Kelce. 

I did my best to cover it up, even opting for one of JJ’s hoodies I stole that covered more of my neck. My cheek thankfully didn’t look as bad and I was able to cover it completely. I heard JJ’s bike pull up, nerves creeping in my chest as I went outside. He smiled when he saw me, and it was like all my worries melted away. He opened his arms when I got closer, pulling me into a hug. I inhaled his scent...smoke, weed, and an earthy tone that was just JJ. His scent calmed my raging nerves. I jumped on the back of his bike, holding on to him as we sped off to the chateau.

==================================

I was doing a good job of hiding until I stupidly pulled my hair to one side.

“What’s on your neck?” Pope asked, inspecting me as I flinched from his prodding fingers. 

“Nothing,” I mumbled, flipping my hair back over. JJ’s eyes narrowed at me, my heart sinking. 

“Ooohh, did you get some last night y/n?” Kie raised her brows suggestively. 

“No,” I scoffed, my cheeks reddening. 

“You so did! Spill!” Sarah squealed. 

“Yeah y/n, spill.” JJ clipped, his arms crossing his chest. 

“I didn’t get any guys, swear.” I insisted, my eyes mainly on JJ. He nodded, but he didn’t look like he believed me.

“Then what is that?” John B. asked, joining in on the interrogation. 

“I tripped getting out of the shower last night,” I said, unconvincingly by the accusing look JJ was still giving me. He stormed back into the chateau, of couse I followed after him.

“JJ please, I-” I started.

“No, you-....I thought-I, I thought we had something building here. Guess I was wrong, I mean how could I ever think you would go from a Kook to me. I feel so stupid!” he ranted, throwing his hat on the ground. He sat on the couch, elbows going to his knees. 

“JJ please believe me, it’s not what you think!” I pleaded.

“Then what is it y/n! Because I know damn well that ain’t from falling, you can’t get bruises like that from a fall.” he fumed.

“JJ I did fall!” I exclaimed, partially telling the truth.

“I’ve wanted you, for so long now....and I thought I finally had you. Then you go back to Kelce, after everything he did.” he said in disbelief. 

“Stop JJ please!” I yelled, choking as I felt tears come to the surface.

“Guess trash like me doesn’t deserve a girl like you huh y/n?” he questioned mockingly. 

“He hit me!” I screamed, both of us freezing.

“What?” JJ asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

“Last night, Kelce came over...he found out about us being together more. Let’s just say he didn’t like it.” I stated, marching to my bag. I yanked out a makeup wipe, dragging it over the sensitive skin. 

“Oh-my-god,” JJ whispered.

“So yeah, I didn’t fall. He slammed me against the wall and choked me after smacking me for telling him to fuck off.” I sniffed.

We were both silent after that, I stared at the floor. I could feel his gaze burning into my skin, analyzing every detail. He got up suddenly, throwing his hat on. JJ marched out the door, a look of pure rage in his eyes. I ran after him, knowing exactly what was in his mind. 

“JJ!” I shouted.

“That motherfucker has some nerve,” JJ raged, the other getting up to see what was going on. 

“JJ please don’t go!” I cried, reaching to grab his arm.

“Oh no, no. The Kooks are not getting away with it this time, not after laying a hand on my girl.” he stated, shaking free of my hold. 

I was too worried at the moment to think about what he had said, everyone looking between us confused.

“What the hell is going on?” John B. asked.

“Dude her neck, Kelce did that.” JJ said, pointing at the now very prominent bruises. The others gasped, staring in horror.

JJ didn’t wait for anyone as he jumped in the van, all of us following after him. 

================================

We arrived at the Boneyard, I knew Kelce would be here more than likely with Rafe and Topper. JJ stormed out of the van, walking quickly to find them. My heart dropped when we spotted them, JJ stalking over to where they were. I raced after him, the others following behind me. 

“Well if it isn’t the happy couple everyone has been talking about.” Kelce taunted, a smug grin on his face.

“You piece of shit!” JJ yelled, punching Kelce in the face.

“JJ!” I gasped, Kie grabbing my arm before I could go to him. 

“You-no-good-motherfucker! You dare lay a hand on my girl!” JJ sneered between punches.

“She’ll never be yours Maybank, I always win.” Kelce laughed as blood spewed from his nose. 

“If I see you within 100 feet of her, I’ll kill you.” JJ said darkly.

“That slut will never be satisfied.” Kelce said, igniting another surge from JJ as he hit Kelce again and again. 

“You abused her asshole, what kind of man treats a woman like that?” JJ scoffed.

“She asked for it.” Kelce said, throwing me an accusing look. JJ wrapped his hands around his throat, John B. and Pope jumping in to pull JJ off.

“If you EVER come near her again, I’ll fucking kill you!” JJ screamed as the boys dragged him away.

==================================

Once we got to the chateau, everyone headed inside except JJ and I. He pulled me into a hug, his head going into the crook of my neck. He kissed the skin there, tingles shooting through me. 

“So I’m your girl now?” I teased, smiling as JJ chuckled. 

“Hell yeah,” he said, pulling his head back to look at me. 

“Thank you for everything J,” I said softly, my hand going to caress his cheek. 

“Anything for you sweetheart.” he whispered, his forehead coming to rest on mine. 

I got on my toes and kissed him, grasping on to him tighter. His hand went to the back of my head, holding me there as our lips moved. I felt as if I were on top of the world, JJ pulled me closer as we fell deeper into the kiss. I pulled away when I felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen, our chests both rising erratically. We were both smiling like idiots, basking in the after glow of doing what we both wanted for so long. 

That night, I fell asleep cuddled next to JJ...the boy who I had longed for and was finally mine.

[musings-from-mars]

For @a-real-human-person-not-fake’s birthday: Reader x Emerald x Jaune

Reader uses they/them

~~~

You remember getting out of bed that morning and showering. You remember lugging your suitcase down the apartment steps and loading it into the car. You remember getting situated in the backseat and you remember what you ordered at the drive thru bagel place down the road. But you don’t remember falling asleep, and you certainly don’t remember lying your head on Jaune’s shoulder. But that’s exactly how you wake up, with a crick in your neck and cold drool smeared on your cheek.

You don’t remember the sun being up before you had fallen asleep either.

“Good morning.” Jaune’s voice helps you return to consciousness as you sit back upright, rubbing your eyes clumsily with your knuckles. Jaune smiles at you, but you barely notice as you continue to blink your sleepy blurriness and the morning sunlight out of your eyes.

“Did sleepyhead finally wake up?” Emerald asks from her position in the driver’s seat. She had called dibs to be the first in the driving rotation. You three had agreed to trade off driving responsibilities every two hours to avoid fatigue, so you figured you hadn’t been asleep for too terribly long since Emerald is still the one captaining the hatchback. Your vision is clear enough now to be able to tell the time from the dashboard clock: 7:33. You three had been on the road for an hour-and-a-half, and save for the short amount of time it took you to scarf down your snickerdoodle bagel, you’d been asleep that whole time.

“I...think so?” Jaune answers Emerald with a chuckle, placing a gentle hand on your wrist. “You feeling up to driving in a little bit, sweetheart?”

You freeze for a moment when he touches your arm, then you look up at him. You stare blankly at his soft smile for a moment, then glance at his shoulder, which had just been your pillow. “Oh fuck, I drooled all over you,” you mutter, feeling embarrassed.

Jaune just shrugs his shoulders. “Eh, it was worth it. You sound so cute when you snore.”

You relax a bit now that he’s assured you he’s not appalled by you drooling on him. A second later, you realize what he just said, and it just layers onto your already existing embarrassment. “I snore?”

“You do when you’re sleeping diagonally in a moving vehicle,” Jaune says, still smiling at you, still with a hand on your arm. You enjoy the soft contact despite your mild embarrassment. “You can go back to sleep if you want, I definitely don’t mind.”

“Don’t want to be too tired for hiking, after all,” Emerald adds.

You recalled your polycule’s destination, a faraway state park that you still struggled to remember the name off. You weren’t the outdoorsy type, but you figured you could handle some hiking (you’d leave the rock climbing to your partners, though). You even offered to go on some of the more lengthy treks that required each hiker have a gallon of water on hand, so long as your demands were met in return, among them being a proper hotel room (rather than a trailside cabin with no power or plumbing like they had threatened) and a night out together in the nearest city. It was a three night trip, so in a way, you each got to choose how one day was spent: hiking for Emerald, more hiking for Jaune, and some city nightlife for you. It was a fair arrangement, you thought. Plus, it meant you and your partners would get to dress in cute hiking outfits, and stylish urban outfits during this trip. The clothing fanatic within you was very happy with that.

You consider Jaune’s offer for you to go back to sleep, and honestly, if it weren’t for the big wet spot you’d left on his t-shirt sleeve, you’d probably return right to it. You certainly don’t feel sufficiently rested. “I’ll probably sleep some more, in a little bit.”

Jaune looks towards the front of the car. “Well, in thirty minutes or so, me and Emmy are switching, so you’ll have a fresh shoulder to drool on.”

“I would be honored to be drooled on by them,” Emerald agrees, giggling in a way that makes you blush from both embarrassment, and from that usual re-realization of how cute she is.

“But until then,” Jaune begins and adjusts his seating position to turn his body more your direction, then he opens up his arms to you. “Come back over here.”

You don’t even give it a second thought, and you grant his request, scooting closer and leaning into his embrace. You don’t remember a whole lot from sleeping on his shoulder, but the moment your cheek presses again his chest and his arms encircle you, you’re already certain that this is a hundred times more comfortable.

Not much else crosses your mind as your sleepiness begins to return to the forefront. But this time, you fall asleep on purpose with Jaune’s arms securely around you and his lips pressing against the top of your head every few seconds. You smile pleasantly as you drift off, the rhythm of the road and Jaune’s slow breathing lulling you to sleep.

Five minutes or five hours could have passed and you wouldn’t have known the difference. You’re woken by a slow drifting feeling, like a strange stillness is overtaking your surroundings. As you emerge further from sleep, you realize the car has stopped, and the lack of motion feels odd for a few seconds and you lift your head off of Jaune’s chest. You look up at him with half-open eyes, and he smiles down at you and graces your lips with the lightest of kisses. “Time to trade,” he whispers, then you hear a car door open, and you turn to see Emerald getting out of the driver’s seat.

You realize it must be Jaune’s turn to take the wheel, so you lean away from him to allow him to unbuckle and replace Emerald. He exits, and Emerald quickly takes his spot. She shuts the door and smiles at you, and your first thought is that you hope she lets you go right back to sleep in her arms. Instead, she offers you something just as inviting. “Come here, dork,” she says affectionately, patting her lap. “Lie down for real.”

You smile thankfully at her, then follow her instructions, lying your cheek on her thigh, facing away from her body. With her wearing her cute green shorts, your sleepy drooling wouldn’t be getting on anymore clothing, but you could already hear the jokes about you drooling over Emerald’s thighs, which, to be fair, would be accurate. You remembered back to one of the earliest times you three had hung out together, and while playing a game of Q&A, your answer to Jaune’s “What part of Emerald do you really like?” had unintentionally been “Her thighs.” Thankfully, you three were far enough along when it came to comfort level that your answer wasn’t inappropriate, but your boyfriend and girlfriend had yet to let you hear the end of it. It wasn’t all bad, though. Emerald wore shorts like this a lot, and part of you suspected that was an intentional choice. A choice you appreciate, of course.

As Jaune gets you three back on the road, you shift a couple times until settling on a position that felt comfortable to you. Emerald’s skin feels soft and cool against your face, and with the added comfort of her slowly running a hand through your hair, you’re back to dreamland in no time.

You’re woken up again an indeterminate amount of time later, but not for long. You acknowledge that the car has stopped and Emerald has swapped places with Jaune once again, but you don’t pay much mind to anything else as your head settles back into the lap of one of your partners, denim jeans pressed against your cheek, and you drift off yet again without a care.

Later, you wake up to a gentle shake of your shoulder. You groan softly and open your eyes. The car has stopped again, but the sun is no longer beaming through the side windows. You push yourself upright, and after a few seconds of dizziness and grogginess, you recognize that you’ve stopped at a gas station.

“Bathroom break?” Jaune asks you, holding your shoulder.

You look over at him and nod, feeling the need to stretch your arms and legs more than anything else. “And snack?” You ask, immediately realizing your own hunger.

Jaune chuckles and nods. “All the snacks you want, love.”

The car door then opens. “Come on, you cuddle bugs,” Emerald teases, smiling at you both as Jaune shuffles out of the car and you follow close behind.

Once on your feet, you extend your arms over your head and stand on your tip toes, stretching your body in all ways your can think off. “How long was I sleeping?”

“Almost five hours,” Emerald says as Jaune is already heading inside the store, apparently in desperate need for a bathroom break.

You’re momentarily stunned. “That long?” You never imagined you’d be capable of sleeping so long, and so well, in a car.

Emerald nods and laughs. “You were pretty much out of it the whole time, too.”

You blink a few times, still wrapping your mind around it. “Wait, so that means you two have been doing all the driving?” You feel sheepish at having failed to fulfill your fair share of the road time.

“Hey, you needed the rest. And it was worth it.” She surprises you by stepping closer and wrapping her arms around your waist. “You’re so precious,” she says softly, then kisses you.

It’s enough to make you want to sink into her embrace and go right back to snoozing, but at the moment, you feel more awake than you’ve felt all day. Maybe the sleep really did help. Emerald parts from you and leads the way to the convenience store, still keeping a hold of your hand along the way. Sure enough, when you step out from under the gas station awning, you see the sun is directly above. It was already noon.

After using the restroom and gathering up an abundance of snacks (albeit healthy snacks; cheese puffs are unfortunately not the best hiking fuel), you stand with your partners in the short line to check out.

“So,” Emerald says to you, “do you feel up for driving?”

You know for certain that she wouldn’t be bothered at all if you said no, but you can tell from the sleepy lull in her eyes that she could use a break. Not to mention you feel the need to make up for all of your driving shifts that you slept through. You feel awake enough to drive, so you smile and nod at her. “Sure. Meanwhile you two can sit in the back and be cute together.”

Emerald smiles at that, glancing bashfully up at Jaune. “Cool.”

After buying your goodies, the three of you head back out to the car. It’s sunny and warm outside, and you hope it cools down a little before you reach the hiking trails. But you don’t worry about the temperature too much for now. You take your position in the driver’s seat of the hatchback, where you’d have free reign over the AC and the radio. Then again, you figured you’d keep the radio off for now. You suspect that your partners would appreciate the quiet.

The three of you are soon back on the road. Traffic on the highway isn’t too hectic, so it’s pretty easy going. You’re able to just set the cruise control and vibe. After a little while, you glance at the rear view mirror, and you smile at what you see. Jaune is leaning his shoulder against his window, all while holding Emerald in his arms as she lies her head on his chest. Both of them have their eyes closed, but you notice a faint smile on Jaune’s face, while Emerald seems to be asleep, her head wobbling a bit against Jaune whenever the car hits the slightest bump. You focus back on the open road for a moment, the green scenery passing you by on your journey.

You aren’t sure if you’ve ever been this happy before. It’s just you and the people you love, with an adventure of your own making awaiting you.

[kingofthecon]

'Becoming a ghost is sad.' The comment caused Stanley Pines to startle and look to the one who'd spoken. His great nephew, Dipper, had been watching one of his paranormal shows on the tube and was either talking to himself or to the old man who was far too busy sitting on the living room floor marking up graph paper for what would most likely be another "riveting" night of Dungeons, Dungeons, and more Dungeons. 'Nerds,' Stanley mused as he walked through the wall to reach the gift shop where no one could see his form solidifying. Whatever conversation was taking place in the next room he didn't not wish to be a part of it. He knew more than he needed to about specters, being one himself gave him that keep sort of insight after all. Of course he couldn't have his way as the young man entered room still rattling on about his theory. "A ghost being obsessed with something to the point they stick around is so sad. It's also the same with unfinished business. In both those scenarios a ghost can possibly stick around forever and get stuck. I bet that's what happened to Ma and Pa Duskerton." Stanley sighed, resigning himself to listening to the kid and the old man that followed in afterwards - the thoughtful frown he wore disappearing when he saw his twin behind the counter where he'd "walked" to count the money in the register. "I didn't see you come in, Stanley." "Not surprising," he grumped at his twin without looking up from the wad of cash in his hands. "You've always had a bad case of tunnel vision." "I didn't see you come in either, grunkle Stan." "Not surprising," Stan repeated, only this time he did look up. "That's been a trend for the entirety of the summer." Dipper turned a bit red while Stanford looked offended. Neither nerd could talk, however, because Stanley's words were true. It made him smirk just a tad as he went back to counting. Meanwhile, Dipper got over his embarrassment and went back to his talk of ghost with his great uncle Stanford. "Between the Duskertons and the Lumberjack ghost there haven't really been too many opportunity to explore the--" "Kid," Stanley interupts drawing the attention of his brother and his nephew. "There's nothin' complicated about ghosts. They die and stick around because somethin's keepin'em around. Could be unfinished business like revenge for their deaths. Could be to protect someone. Could be just to play pranks or scare people for no reason. Some are weak. Some can be dangerous. End of story." Dipper and even Stanford looked unconvinced, though there was also a hint of suspicion that Stanley decided he wasn't going to stick around for. He probably shouldn't have opened his mouth - but after everything that'd happened up until bringing Ford back; including the part where he specifically told his dangerous know-it-all of a brother to stay away from the kids, he'd been a little high strung. And he knew the exact reason why. It didn't help that Dipper's preferred topic of the day hit a little too close to home for Stanley. Unable to look them in the eyes as he walked away, he didn't notice the way Dipper seemed to curl inward or Stanford's twitch - the chill that suddenly came over the two of them having nothing to do with Stan's cold shoulder.

His escape from the shack wasn't nearly as fast as he would have liked it to be, but he needed to act casual. In hindsight he had acted foolishly. His brother was a genius with 12 PhDs and could probably see through that act about as easily as if he'd been able to see through Stanley if he wasn't capable of sustaining his tangibility. It was why in the car, deep in the woods, he was able to drop the act. Gone was the old man only to be replaced by a younger man somewhere between 25-35 with a tattered red jacket and a mullet. His once vibrant skin had a blue tint to it and the outglow that his body had but was harder to see during the day became bright. Despite the unnecessity of breathing the spector still found himself releasing an exhale in an attempt to calm himself down. Why had he even panicked the way he had? Dipper was just being his inquisitive self. Was it because of Ford? Was it because Stanford could figure him out in a heartbeat if given the chance? With the Pines Twins classic being at odds with one another, even after their thirty year separation, would the remnants of their relationship last with Stanley becoming just another anomaly to Stanford who only stuck around because he had unfinished business? Would Stanford try to exorcise him - believing that Stanley was nothing more than an echo of a person he'd known long ago but had died - no body left to bury? Would he become even more insufferable; asking his stupid questions about ghosts and what it was like to be one and what kept him tethered to the world of the living? Stanley...didn't want to find out. Frozen fingers tapped gentle at the steering wheel - the car having a ghostly glow of its own as well - before simply gripping at it tightly. He couldn't very well run away from this - he knew that, but he couldn't continue to hide what he was from Dipper and Stanford. Between the two of them something would have to give, and Stanley wasn't ready to let it all go just yet. He wanted to make amends with Stanford. He wanted them to be friends again. He couldn't do that, he assumed, if he were to be found out. 'There's one place I can go...' he mused as he started the car and headed deeper into the forest until the trees became too clustered for the car to pass. He debated on simply driving through them anyway - his car took on ghostly properties when he was in it after all - they were practically one entity, but he chose instead to get out continue on foot so to speak. He could feel himself calm considerably as well as a bit of a boost of energy the closer he came to a cluster of rocks and boulders that seemed practically welded together - an old ruin of sorts he assumed. Once close enough the hum of something reached his ears. He merely placed the palm of his hand against the wall and let his body phase through until a swirling mass of light and dark greens came into his field of vision. 'The Ghost Zone' he thought as he shook his head. He'd only been there twice - when he first...died...and again when he realized there were certain advantages to having a ghost portal connected to other parts of the world - especially when that meant getting materials for another type of portal; a trans-dimensional portal that needed a specific type of fuel and power source. It was complicated. At least he'd found a supplier and had a network going. He wondered if, maybe, said supplier would be willing to give him any advice, or if the Cheese Head had other things going on. Either way, Stan was on his way to Wisconsin. @gamblealife

[p-artsypants]

I’ll Handle This (3)

Ao3 | FF.net

The walk to the Principal's office wasn’t that long, but it felt like it with the dagger’s Adrien was staring at him. 

“I know what you’re going to say—“ 

“You knocked him unconscious.” 

“What was I supposed to do? Let him drag me all the way back to the mansion, making me escape again?” 

“You’re doing this all wrong! Father doesn’t like disobedience! He’s just going to tighten the leash every time you act up! It’s better if you just apologize now and then follow his orders to a T.”

“Listen to yourself, Adrien.” Plagg paused one the hall. “Orders? Disobedience? You make him sound like a prison warden, and not a father! You always followed his rules and it’s gotten you nowhere.” 

“I was better off then than I am now...” 

“Yes, you were.” Plagg admitted. “Not going to lie, this is going to get way worse before it gets better. But I’ve already made my intentions known to him, so he’ll know that I’m not just being rebellious without due cause. I’ll just have to keep pushing until he cracks.” 

“I hate this.” 

“Cheer up kid. Just enjoy the ride. I’ll take care of everything.”

Adrien just groaned as they reached the Principal's office and he dove back into his pocket. 

Plagg knocked. 

“Yes yes, come in.”

Inside, Mr. Damocles only spared Plagg a glance. “Yes, Mr. Agreste, what do you need?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Then can it wait until after school? I’m very busy.”

“Okay.” And he walked back outside.

“You were supposed to tell him about what happened in class, and he was going to punish you!” Adrien chastised. 

“I don’t want to be punished.” Plagg shrugged. 

Adrien just groaned again. “You will be the death of me.” 

“Adrien, don’t be so dramatic.” Plagg impersonated his father. “Emotions are for peasants. We rich people have no need for feelings.”

“Damn, that’s really accurate.” 

“I practice.” 

Adrien floated out of the pocket. “By the way…why didn’t you tell me Marinette was Ladybug?”

Plagg halted and leaned against the railing. “How’d you figure that out?”

“Tikki.”

Plagg snorted. “I bet she felt pretty stupid for letting that slip.”

“She said you’re a cheater.” 

He shrugged. “She has the same ability as me. She’s just too much of a goody-goody two shoes. Anyway, I didn’t tell you because I wasn’t supposed to.”

“You’re also not supposed to put cheese in my shoes, but that doesn’t stop you.” 

“That’s different. The whole identity rule was put in place by the Guardians. Master Fu, the guardians before him, and now Marinette. That’s a little more binding.” 

Adrien wilted, knowing he was beaten. 

“But you’re on board with my plan now, right? Flirting with Marinette?”

“Sure, but Tikki said she’s already in love with me.”

“That’s true, but she doesn’t know you’re in love with her. And instead of just confessing, I’m going to slowly convince her that she’s the one you’re in love with.”

“Why do it slowly?”

“Two reasons.” Plagg held up his fingers. “One: I want to leave the mushy gushy confession stuff to you, and B: it’s more fun this way.”

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?”

“Yes. One worthy of the Louvre. I’m glad you’ve finally noticed.” He swiped Adrien out of the air and tucked him into his pocket. “Now, we must get back to class. While I certainly lived the Hundred Years War, you still need to know what’s going to be on the test.” 

Plagg walked back into the classroom, completely unbothered.

Miss Bustier looked surprised to see his return. The Gorilla was propped up against the wall with a washcloth on his forehead. He was still unconscious. “Back already? What did Mr. Damocles have to say about your behavior?”

“He took away one of my good noodle stars.” 

Someone in the back of the room snorted.

Miss Bustier sighed, as if she had been expecting this. “Alright, take your seat, Adrien. I better not hear a peep out of you for the rest of the day.” 

“You got it, teach!” 

—

At lunch, Plagg turned in his seat and addressed Nino. “Hey, you busy after school?” 

“Uh...Alya and I had a date, but if you’re free I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I postponed!” 

“It’s a little rude to cancel plans without consulting the person you made them with, don’t you think?” Alya snarked, leaning forward. 

“Oh my apologies, madam.” Plagg bowed. “Dost thou mind if thine beloved joins me on an errand after school?” 

“But Adrien,” interrupted Marinette. “Don’t you have fencing after school?” 

“Hmm, you’re right. I have to keep up appearances.” 

“What?” 

“After fencing then.” 

“Hmm, how about this,” suggested Alya. “What if we come watch your fencing practice, and then we all go together.” 

Plagg blanched. “Eh, I don’t really want to be a third wheel.” 

“You wouldn’t. Marinette’s coming too!” 

“Oh!” He hopped up on his knees, eagerly getting into her space. “Like a double date? That sounds like fun!” 

“Date?!” Stuttered Marinette, “Uh, yeah! Sure!” Then her face pulled into a wince. “That is, if you don’t want to go with Kagami instead...” 

“Nah, this is an errand meant for the OG crew. Wouldn’t want anyone else! So what are we doing for lunch?” 

“You don’t have to go home?” 

“Sure, I have to, but I don’t want to. Let’s see...” he took out his wallet. Inside, there were several credit cards, but only one in Gabriel’s name. 

“I’ll cover lunch, let's hit the most expensive restaurant there is! Daddy’s paying!” 

—

After lunch, the group walked back to school, with the boys taking the lead while the girls hung back a few steps. 

“Okay, as much as I love new Adrien,” Alya whispered. “There’s definitely something up with him.” 

“Yeah. I noticed the minute I saw him this morning. I’m really worried about him.” 

“Eh, I wouldn’t be worried about him. I’d be worried about everyone else.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I just mean...he’s gotten a taste of power somewhere, and it’s bound to explode outward. I’m sure that triple digit bill at lunch is not going to go over well with his father. If he’s messing with his dad and with Lila...when is it going to stop?” 

“No. Adrien’s not like that. I think he’s acting out for attention.” 

“You think he’d do that?” 

“I...I don’t know. But I think it’s closer to what’s happening. Adrien is good and kind, he’s not snotty like Chloe. I think this is just honest to goodness rebellion.” 

Plagg turned around and called back to the girls. “Do you think a tattoo would suit me?” Then he grabbed his leg in pain. “Ouch! Cramp!” 

“Definitely rebellion.” 

—

After school, Nino, Alya, and Marinette took a seat under the shady courtyard stairs so they could work on homework and watch Adrien’s practice at the same time. 

Nino spread out his books and then leaned back on his elbows. 

“You guys noticed how frickin weird Adrien’s been acting today?” 

“Yes!” The girls said unanimously. 

“We were just talking about that at lunch!” Said Alya. “Marinette says it's a rebellion. I say he’s tasting the rich boy power.” 

Nino screwed up his lips. “I think you’re both wrong. I think he’s magically switched bodies with someone...or something...” 

“Dude, what the hell are you talking about?” Alya stared at him, blank-faced. 

“Come on, you can’t seriously rule that out! What if there’s a body swapping Akuma out and about that we don’t know about yet?” 

“You think Adrien’s an Akuma?” 

“Or under the effects of one.” Nino clarified. “Maybe someone out to ruin his reputation...or something more sinister...” 

“If that’s the case, we should grill him. Ask him questions only the real Adrien would know.” 

“Yeah!” Nino stood. “Like that one episode of Spongebob!” 

“We should definitely not take advice from a children’s show.” 

“Or…we should.” 

Adrien emerged from the locker room, foil in hand and dressed in his gear. There was still something off about him. Were his pants on backwards?

“Hey Adrien!” Nino called. 

Like an excited puppy, Adrien trotted over. “Sup homes?”

“What’s your favorite vine?”

He rubbed his chin. “Odd question. But I suppose it’d be a trumpet, or perhaps a Honeysuckle.” 

“Uhh…” Nino raised a brow at him, suspicion rising. 

“Oh, you mean one of your silly little internet videos.” Immediately, Adrien dropped into a fighting stance. “DON’T EFF WITH ME! I’VE GOT THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE! AHHHHHH!” 

“Yep, that’s Adrien.”

—

While Alya and Nino got to work on their homework, Marinette was constantly distracted by Adrien. Nothing new, of course, but it wasn’t all ‘grace’ and ‘elegance’.

It was ‘sneaky’ and ‘unlawful’.

Whenever Adrien’s partner was turned away, Adrien grabbed the tip of his saber, and bent it, only to release it a second later to snap on his opponent’s rear end. 

“Hey!”

“You had a fly.” 

“Mr. Agreste!” The coach called. “I don’t tolerate unsportsmanlike conduct! One more goof, and you’re out of practice!” 

“Just one more?”

“One more!”

*TWACK*

“Out you go!”

“Thanks!” And Adrien walked right off the mat and over to the locker room. He came out a few minutes later, looking even more disheveled than he was this morning. His hair was a sweaty rat’s nest.

“Now that I’ve been kicked out of fencing, who wants to run some errands!?” 

Alya slammed her book shut. “Me is ready. Me can't read anymore!” 

“Well, me is hungry,” said Nino. “Can we get food first?”

“Snacks it is!” 

But before they could even go anywhere, Kagami appeared, looking rightfully confused. “You’re skipping fencing today?”

“Correction, was kicked out of fencing today!” 

Her eyes widened in horror, before she frowned hard. “That’s not something to joke about Adrien.” 

“I’m not joking, I was goofing around and Coach kicked me out of practice.”

She shook her head. “That’s disappointing, Adrien. I expected better from you.” 

In Plagg’s pocket, Adrien gave a little gasp of pain. Hearing his father’s disappointment was one thing, but hearing that from Kagami was horribly painful. 

But Plagg rolled with it easily. “Kagami, let’s talk.” He turned to his friends. “I’ll be back in a little bit, think about where you want to eat.” Then Plagg led Kagami over to a secluded corner so they could speak privately. 

In the pocket, Adrien prayed that Plagg would be nice to her. 

Once they were a distance away, Kagami crossed her arms and levelled a glare at him. “If you are going to tell me to loosen up, I am. But you know how important fencing is for me. I want you to have friends, but I don’t like you blowing off responsibilities.”

“Kagami,” Plagg folded his hands in front of him. “This is bigger than us.”

Her face paled. “What? What are you saying?”

“I’m saying, you and I are leading different lives—“

“You’re breaking up with me?” She sniffed. 

“Ah ah, technically, we were never really dating in the first place.” 

“But—“ 

“I’m going to explain something to you, and I want you to listen and hear it objectively, as much as it will hurt. Don’t take it personally, alright?” 

She nodded sadly. 

“You think you’re in love with me, because you think you should be. I’m the only male friend you have that’s our age, and because of the affection you have for me, you’re assuming that it’s infatuation, when really, it’s just a connection.”

She blinked, frowning, but her eyes weren’t tearing up anymore. 

“I’m in a similar boat to you, where I started to like my first female friend on instinct. It was only until I made other female friends that I realized what I felt for her was really love, and not just the thrill of having a friend that’s a girl.” 

“Then…how do you know I don’t feel the same? I get what you’re saying, but I think I really love you.”

“Do you? Or do you love the idea of me? Do you love the idea of having a male companion that you can bond with?”

“I do like that…”

“Can you imagine it being someone other than me?”

“I don’t know who else it would be…”

“Make up a person. Pretend you’re talking to someone else, getting ice cream with someone else. Do you feel like you could get the same thing you want from me from someone else? Or is it something only I can give? Is it companionship? Or is it my sense of humor, my topics, my interests, my opinions?”

Kagami crossed her arms, now deep in thought.

“Kagami, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. I do care a lot about you, and I really enjoy fencing with you. But…I can’t see myself spending the rest of my life with you. We’re too alike, and yet too different. Our discussions are shallow, and I don’t think you want the same things from life as I do. But I think you want a boyfriend, and I was the closest boy available.” 

Kagami unfolded her arms, and raised her head to look at him levelly. “Yes, I suppose that is an accurate assessment. You do do things that irritate me, like fooling around in serious moments. Every time I brought up the future, you clammed up. I can see you live for the now and not for tomorrow, which is difficult to build a relationship on.” 

Both Plagg and Adrien sighed. She was taking this extremely well, given her track record for akumatizations. 

“I suppose I do need to make more male friends. I think that would be smart to learn more about what I want in a partner. And we can always revisit our relationship in the future, right?”

“Umm, maybe…?”

She frowned again. “Oh, yes, you said earlier that you are in love with someone else. It’s Marinette, isn’t it?”

Plagg grinned. “Pretty obvious, isn’t it?”

“I was in disbelief when you called her a ‘really good friend’. I saw it a mile away, but since neither of you were making a move, I decided to ‘shoot my shot’ as they say.”

Plagg figured that’s how it was, but Adrien was gawking at her from inside the pocket. She knew?? And she didn’t tell him?! 

“I suppose I should have expected this conversation as well. But I appreciate your insight. I think you’re right. I just want a boyfriend.” She shrugged. “I guess it doesn’t have to be you.” 

Plagg sighed again. “Thank you, Kagami.” 

“No, thank you, Adrien. Thank you for breaking this off before I got too invested. You know how much I hate wasting time.” And with that, she walked off. 

Once she was out of earshot, Plagg whistled lowly. “Whoa, burn. Dodged a bullet there, pal.” 

“The time we spent together was not a waste!” Adrien protested. “Anytime spent with friends should be cherished!” 

Plagg cupped him in his hand, rubbing right between the ears. “Hey, come on kid. She didn’t mean it like that. She can be as cool and calm as she wanted, but she’s still hurt. But I swear, it’s better for both of you this way, especially since you’re in love with Marinette.” 

“I know…it just…sucks.” 

“Sure it does. But it won’t forever.” Then he popped him back inside the pocket. “Come on! Let’s meet up with the others! We have some shopping to do!” 

“What are we shopping for, exactly?”

“Tools to use to piss off your old man.” 

“Uh, been there, done that?” 

“Oh no, my teeny tiny friend, we have much left to do. Much left.” 

—

“Touching me…”

“Touching you…”

“SWEET CAMEMBERT! BAH BAH BAH—“

“Now,” Nino interrupted their little impromptu karaoke down the sidewalk, “my English might not be very good, but I’m pretty sure it’s ‘Sweet Caroline’ not ‘Sweet Camembert.’”  

“Aw,” Plagg waved his hand. “It’s not important what the lyrics are, it’s just important that you feel the song.”

Nino, as a DJ, looked aghast. “Of course it’s important to know the lyrics! Why do you think they’re written that way?”

“Relax, I love making cheese parodies of songs. I’m not going to go to Jagged Stone and argue that my lyrics are better.” 

“Um…since when do you make cheese parodies? And aren’t you like, low key lactose intolerant?”

“Allergies can’t stop the cheese, my friend. Why do you think I take so many bathroom breaks?” 

Adrien pinched him from inside the pocket, but Plagg just swatted him back. Did he not see the opportunity he was just given? A perfect cover for when he had to go fight akumas!

All he had to do was become the weird cheese kid. Such were the sacrifices of being a hero. 

“Oh!” Marinette exclaimed as they walked past a boutique. “That is adorable!” She stared at a dress in the window. 

Plagg’s ears metaphorically perked up and he swooped in to make a move. He laid an arm on her shoulder. “Oh, yes Marinette, that’s extremely cute. I think it would look nice on you! Can I buy it for you?” He gave her a smooth smile. 

Adrien facepalmed in his pocket. 

“What! You want to—for me? No! No…I can certainly make it on my own!” She snapped a picture of the dress. “I think I could find a print I like better too.” 

Plagg was not deterred. “Oh, then perhaps I could buy the fabric for you? It’s not often that I get to buy things for my friends!” 

“Dude, you bought us lunch today.” Said Nino, with some concern. “You okay? Like…you’re not going to start giving away your personal belongings, are you?”

“No, unless I have something you want? A video game perhaps?”

“Stop it. You’re freaking me out.” 

This actually did give Plagg pause. In all his experience of human history, supplementing friendships with presents was the easiest way to manipulate people. What was he doing wrong? Was Adrien not generous enough?

“You know…” Nino scratched the back of his head, “they say when your friends start being super nice and giving stuff away and talking about personal things…it’s a sign of them being suicidal.”

Adrien’s bite was sorely deserved, Plagg decided as he flinched. “No! No no, gods no!” He laughed awkwardly. “I just…decided to be a little more…generous?” 

Marinette laid a hand on his arm. “Adrien, never feel like you have to buy our friendship. We like spending time with you, no matter how we get it.” 

Plagg tightened his jaw. He knew what he had to do, but mushy-ness and feelings were his least favorite thing in the world. 

He took her hand and held it. “Thank you Marinette. I love you, all of you. It’s so important to me that I get to spend time with you too, and I’m happiest when I’m with my friends. I just wanted to show my appreciation.”

Nino sniffled and wiped his eyes. “We love you too man.” 

Slam dunk.

—

The shopping trip went splendidly. His target was horribly gaudy clothes that would offend his father. He used Marinette as a litmus test. If she gaped in shock, it was perfect. 

Most of his purchases ended up being cheap tourist shirts, ‘Hawaiian’ shirts as they were often referred to. 

After the initial shock of Plagg subjecting them to the eye sores, it started to turn into a game. 

“Look Adrien! This one’s got little  croissants on it!” Marinette said with glee. 

“I love it,” Plagg stated, holding it up to Adrien’s body in the mirror. “But, all of these shirts are still just a little too normal. I think it’ll piss my dad off, but it’s not enough to push him into absolutely indignant.”

Marinette shrugged. “I mean, we are in Paris, the fashion capital of the world.” 

Nino was the one that held up two shirts together. “I mean, you could wear these two at the same time.” One was a sunset orange, and the other was a vibrant Microsoft Blue Screen of death blue. It was painful to look at them next to each other.

Marinette made a loud, gasp, it almost sounded like a honk. “Nino.” 

“What? I thought we were going for gaudy?” 

“We are, we are, you’re a genius!” 

“I mean, of course I am, but what did I do?” 

She took the two shirts and examined the seams. “I might doom myself, but I can separate these shirts and re-sew them. Basically, making two new shirts!” 

Plagg laughed maniacally. “Oh Marinette, my dear, that’s downright diabolical!” 

Marinette blushed, but she smiled proudly. “I can probably do a couple of these shirts, as long as they’re the same style. It might take me a few days—“ 

Plagg hugged her from the side and kissed her cheek loudly and obnoxiously. “That would be amazing! Thank you Marinette!” 

Gauging by the way the girl melted into the floor, Plagg assumed he had scored a few points. 

—