#What are friends for?

[thelampisaflashlight]

Hands On Learning

[Dew tries something new, but lacks experience, so he gets a little help from a friend. SwissDew. Not suitable for younger audiences. Lead up to sexual content, but no actual sex this time, sorry.] Below the cut.

"You could always go fuck yourself." Swiss had said, gesturing rudely before giving him an encouraging grin, "Like, actually though. Get some lube, test the waters, see if you like it."

Dew considers Swiss' words as he wiggles into a more comfortable position on his bed, trying to figure out how best to approach... this.

This being him propping himself up in the most awkward, unattractive pose possible, legs spread with the small hand mirror he uses for personal grooming leaned against his wadded up blankets between them.

It's not like he hasn't fingered someone before, but there's a world of difference between doing something like this to another person and attempting it on yourself.

For one thing, Dew's not sure how to make it work; The pose, the prep, the anything, on himself at least.

He's like a prospector digging for gold when it comes to finding other people's sweet spots, but he's never really explored his own... caverns.

You'd think that would have been the first thing on the agenda when he got his new vessel, but he'd been shockingly prudish about the whole thing, due in no small amount to the strange, bubbling sense of insecurity he felt when looking at himself naked.

He isn't unattractive, at least he doesn't think he is -he's not his own type, but he gets enough compliments from others to not think he's at least a little hot- but part of him gets all squirmy thinking about himself in a sexual context.

He likes sex, likes making others feel good, and, fuck, if he doesn't get off on helping them get there, but this is different.

This isn't sex, at least he doesn't think it counts; It's masturbation, it's him fucking himself.

And, well, something about it makes him feel... weird.

Uncertain.

Anxious.

At least when it comes to doing something like this.

Jacking off is one thing, but for some reason the idea of sticking his fingers in his own ass is making his heart race in a not so fun kind of way.

He thinks, maybe, the mirror wasn't the best idea, seeing himself all scrunched up and awkward, however, that's the other problem Dew has doing these kinds of things.

He needs to see.

There's this little voice in the back of his mind that tells him he has to know what's going on at all times, that even in situations like this, where he's alone, he needs to be in control.

And where has that gotten him so far?

Well, he's managed to take his clothes off, that's something at least.

Dew makes eye contact with himself in the mirror, drawing his mouth into a line like he's looking at someone else after doing something embarrassing.

Shit, maybe this is embarrassing, huh?

His cheeks redden and he accidentally knocks over the mirror as his foot kicks out unexpectedly as he attempts to flee from his own reflection.

"Nope." he manages to squeak out as he slides off the bed to retrieve his underwear from the floor, pulling them on backwards in his haste and cursing himself under his breath as he has to step back out of them and turn them around.

Fuck.

How is he this flustered by something he's done a thousand times to other people??

He knows it feels good, if his partners are to be trusted, but he just can't get over the mental hurdle of doing it to himself.

Dew snaps the waistband of his boxers, feeling a sense of humiliation as he dismantles his set-up, swallowing the lump of shame in his throat.

He just can't do it.

...He can't do it alone, that is.

With a twitch of his tail, Dew glances over at his phone resting on his desk.

"...Fuck it."

If he's going to do this, he might as well do it right, and while Swiss will probably laugh at him for being this reserved about sticking something in his ass, he does know more about it than Dew, and he could use some help.

.

.

.

"Where do you want me?" Swiss asks once he's inside Dew's bedroom with the door shut, "You want me on the bed with you, or do you just want me to watch, give pointers?"

Dew looks between the multi-ghoul and his bed, at the sheets he'd neatly tucked back into place so the other wouldn't question what he'd been up to before he texted him for assistance.

"I dunno, just..." he eyes the door anxiously, checking that it's locked, "S-Show me what to do, or just, touch me and tell me what's happening."

Swiss nods, rolling up his sleeves, "I can do that. Bed?"

"Gimme a minute." Dew chuckles nervously, "I just, I don't..."

"You don't have to force yourself to do this, you know that, right?" Swiss tilts his head, warm brown eyes narrowed in sympathy, "Sometimes you don't have to try something to know you don't like it, or that the idea of it makes you feel iffy."

Dew hums, looking pointedly at the floor before meeting Swiss' gaze again, "It's..."

He inhales sharply through his nose and then slowly out of his mouth.

"I want to do this, I wanna know if I... If I like, ya know..." he rolls his hand in a vague gesture, "...I've never really done anything like this before."

He mumbles slightly at the end and Swiss leans in, genuinely unable to make out what he's saying.

"Dewy, I need you to speak up, I can't help you if I don't know what's going on in that head of yours."

The hybrid puffs warm air out of his nose, red all the way up to his ears, refusing to look anywhere but the wall behind Swiss.

"...Said I've never bottomed before..." he admits finally, "Never really explored that side of things, and even this-"

He gestures between the two of them.

"-is new for me." he sighs, "I'm still wrapping my head around the idea of letting someone touch me like this, so I... I'm trusting you to not fuck with me right now. No... No teasing me over this shit, okay? I'm already uncomfortable asking for help, so just..."

"I won't." Swiss promises, "This is serious business. You're trying something new, and you may not even like it, so we're gonna tread lightly. Test the waters, just like I said earlier, yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"So..." Swiss claps his hands together, making Dew flinch slightly, "Sorry. Bed?"

"Bed." Dew says, though his feet remain rooted in place, "...You first?"

Swiss nods and makes his way over to Dew's bed, pausing with his fingers poised against the buttons of his shirt, "You want me with my clothes off, or..."

"On!" Dew manages after a moment of quiet contemplation, "...Don't want to get distracted."

"You find my body distracting?" Swiss raises an eyebrow, a smirk spreading across his lips, "Good to know~"

Dew wings his sweatpants at him, hitting him dead center in the face.

"Shut."

"Aye, aye, Captain."

As Dew gets comfortable on the bed, he's starting to think maybe having Swiss keep his clothes on was a mistake; It's creating a strange dynamic between the two of them, and Dew's not entirely sure he likes it, but he also doesn't outright hate it, so...

There's some hope there, if only a smidge.

"If you want me to stop at any point for any reason, I will." Swiss assures him, "It's going to feel a little weird at first, but we both know that doesn't always mean weird bad. Just talk to me, and I'll talk to you."

Dew nods, lifting himself up slightly so Swiss can slide a pillow under his ass.

"Swiss..." he starts, already feeling a bit embarrassed, "I can't really... I can't really see what's going on from this angle..."

"I can prop you up a bit more if you'd like, but it's probably going to be easier for you to open up for me if you're in a more comfortable position." the other man says, giving Dew's thigh a squeeze, "I'm going to be here, talking to you the whole time, so you're not going to miss a thing, okay?"

"...Okay." Dew settles back down, glancing down up at Swiss, who's currently knelt between his legs, "Satanas... Right, let's... let's get this over with."

"We're not going to rush into anything." Swiss reminds him, "Just breathe with me for a moment and we'll ease into it. C'mon, in-"

"Swiss, this is ridiculous."

"It's not." he shakes his head, "It'll help, really. You trust me?"

Dew huffs a little at first, but something about the sincerity in Swiss' gaze makes him shut his eyes, "Okay..."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

[capsandbottles97]

If there isn’t a second season, we riot!

Update 1/9 - If you haven’t heard, we need a new reason to riot 😁

[dont-read-this-im-dead]

Me: I'm having a problem.

Friend: that's called healing.

Me: really? I thought it was called adhd.

[mahgck]

you have to outlive donald trump

[sillyguy-supreme]

white americans when you tell them that the idea of climate change as an impending disaster is a reductive first world perspective because it’s a tangible reality for many in the global south already:

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[notnaruse]

thign that blew up on twt ig

[ottosbigtop]

I think we as a society should bring back brotps. I think we should be weirder about characters being friends the same way people are weird about ships. Make those two characters who interacted once or twice besties. Make it difficult for them to get rid of each other even if they want to. Go nuts

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[parhe1ion]

if you’re gonna introduce me to something new you have to defeat my 7 evil ex hyperfixations

[noelledeltarune]

EVERY SINGLE DAY there are MILLIONS of characters in their late 20s who get falsely accused of being father figures to teenagers when in reality the description of "weird older cousin" or "step-sibling that moved out before you were born" is 1000000x more apt

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

bumblebees first day out of sublevel 50

[bruhstation]

you’re just like the rest of them

[ellierenae]

write unpublishable things. it's good for you.