#Wendy the lumberjack duck

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

MY DUCK JUST hyucking DIED!?

[nautiscarader]

Wendip Week day 4 - same age

(Ao3)

- This is going to be the most boring holidays ever.

Dipper Pines put down the bags he's been carrying on the wooden floor of their new room, wondering if the creaking he was hearing would be the herald of their doom. But even if, the effect was nullified at once when Mabel began jumping up and down on her new bed, doing somersaults in the air, laughing and cheering.

- Oh come on, dipdop. This place ain't so bad! Come on, let's see what things are in the gift shop. - Mabel, we *live* in a gift shop now. - Dipper grumbled - And I have a feeling our grunkle would be willing to sell us...

The twins walked down the stairs (Mabel two at the time), getting used to the bizarre décor of the Mystery Shack. The modern merchandise clashed with old pictures and clearly fake paraphernalia that wouldn't lure even the most gullible of tourists.

- Man, can you believe this, Mabel? Who would believe in such things? - Dipper asked into the void, leaning against the counter. - Oh, you;d be surprised.  

Dipper let out an embarrassingly high-pitched meep as someone jumped from behind the counter. The girl had long, red hair, wore a green plaid shirt, was missing one front tooth, but it somehow didn't detract from her beaming smile. It took Dipper a moment to realise he has been in Mabel's arms the whole time when she caught him, and stepped to the floor.

- Hi there! - the girl asked - You are Mr Pines' grand-kids, right? Oh man, maybe finally the borefest will end. - she kept talking, while she sat on the counter and dangled her feet, which Dipper now noticed were hidden in bizarrely huge boots. - Hi! I'm Mabel! - Wendy. Wendy Corduroy. - the girl reached her hand and fist-bumped Mabel, much to her delight. - Dipper! She knows the SECRET HANDSHAKE. - Heh, it's not very secret, isn't it? - Wendy looked at the chestnut-haired boy - And it's... Dipper?

She raised her brow, ogling him from head to toes.

- It's... it's a nickname. Anyway, - Dipper quickly changed the subject - You were talking about the, uh, clients? - Oh yeah. Lots of people fall for those. - Wait, how do you know? - Dipper inquired - Are you... working here? - Yup.

Wendy jumped to the floor and walked to the twins. She was fraction of an inch taller than them, though her oversized ushanka might have contributed to that effect.

- You are talking with Mystery's Shack best saleswoman! Mostly because I'm the only woman. - she added. - Wait, how come grunkle Stan let you? - Mabel tilted her head in confusion/ - "Grunkle"? - Wendy chuckled - What's that short for, "grumpy uncle"? - "Great uncle" actually. - Ah, makes sense. So, anyway, I asked him if I can work here to earn some cash, and he said yeah, and he was happy cos he thought he'd have to pay me only a half. So then I told him I might call the feds, and you'd have to see his face when he heard that.

Mabel and Dipper exchanged bewildered looks after the girl sputtered the entire history seemingly in one breath. Wendy looked around and lowered her voice.

- Between you and me, I think your grunkle has some serious skeletons in his closet. Or maybe the basement.

She jumped in place, and as she landed, the three heard a faint echo, just like when Dipper put down their bags.

- There must be one, but I can't find an entrance. Anyway, do you guys want to take a tour around the neighbourhood? And by "neighbourhood", I mean forest. - Sure! - Mabel exclaimed - Dipper, isn't she the coolest? - Uh, y-yeah. - Dipper spoke cautiously and followed the two.

Wendy grabbed something from the counter, and as they left the building, it became obvious what did she take.

- Woah, woah, woah. - Dipper ran forward - You're not gonna tell me you will drive this. - he pointed to the golf-cart parked in front of the Mystery Shack. - Oh, you can drive, too? Cool. - Wendy spoke nonchalantly and tossed him the keys. - No, that's not what I meant-

Dipper tried to argue, but the girls were already in the car, looking at him with mischievous looks. He sighed and passed the keys back to Wendy, who, with her big boots, were just tall enough to reach the pedals. While Mabel was singing some silly song, Dipper was saying his last prayer, but he quickly realised he might have underestimated Wendy's abilities.

The three drove into the forest, down the old, beaten paths, and the two city kids were suddenly engulfed by the untamed, serene nature that surrounded them. The sounds of birds chirping, leaves rustling and the distant roar of waterfalls created ambience they only heard in documentary films. And with the sudden rush of clean air came the oxygen shock, and Dipper couldn't stop himself from speaking his mind.

- Wow, Wendy, this is...

He looked to his left and saw the same girl, whose long hair now flowed with the air, while her face and her green eyes were partially obscured by the flickering shadows of the nearby trees. Words got stuck in his throat, and only one came out.

- ...beautiful. - Yeah, it's nice around here. - she answered nonchalantly. - It gets weird when the trolls come from the mountains.

Dipper blinked.

- I'm sorry, what? - Yeah, they are a pain in the behind, but they're not that bad, unless you know how to handle them. And then there are the unicorns, those are jerks, but again, they stay in their glades. Man-bats can be weird, they get rebooted every season anyway, so as far as monster go, they are not that bad, and then there's-

Suddenly, Dipper gripped Wendy's shoulders and turned her towards him, the sheer horror on his face.

- THERE ARE MONSTERS HERE?! - Woah, Dipper, don't do that, or I'll ran into- - A TREE!

Mabel screamed and Wendy slammed the brake pedal, just as they were about to crash into a mighty tree. But only thanks to her reflexes, the car stopped, making only the tiniest contact with the tree that arose in front of them.

- Oh, geez, oh geez, Wendy, I'm so sorry, are you-are you okay? Mabel? What about you?

But neither of the girls reacted to Dipper's questions, staring at the obstacle they nearly ran into. And when Dipper followed their sight, he realised why. There was now a hole in the tree. Not a round one, not one caused by any of the parts of the golf-cart, but a rectangular, precisely cut one, and the door it was hidden behind hang onto the only remain hinge.

- Woah, guys, we found a treasure!

Wendy eagerly jumped out of the cart and crawled onto the mask, her hand already diving into the hidden compartment.

- We-Wendy, be careful there might be some rabid animal there-

Dipper alerted Wendy, who, from the looks on her face, already found something inside.

- Guys, there's some mechanism here!

The red-head eagerly pushed the button inside, and Dipper once more let out a faint meep when he felt that ground underneath him began moving, uncovering another obscured hole, this time underneath thick, metal sliding door. Mabel and Wendy rushed to the spot, but this time, they let out disappointing sighs.

- Eh? A book? Come on, I expected a treasure chest!

But this time Dipper reached for the old, brown-red book as quickly as Wendy jumped up the tree before. The corners were encased in golden metal that once probably shone brightly, but years have made that shine obscured underneath the thick layer of dust. The center of the book's cover was an outline of six-fingered hand as well as number "3", and there was a magnifying glass attached to it on a string.

With trembling hands, Dipper opened it, worrying the book might crumble to dust, but to his surprise and amazement, the book was in almost immaculate state, sans the yellowish tint the once-white pages have acquired.

As he shuffled through the pages, Wendy and Mabel leaned over his shoulders, and with each new hand-made drawings, their curiosity deepened, though only one of the three knew what Dipper might be holding in his hands.

- Holy smokes, guys! - Wendy exclaimed - I think this is some sort of guide to all the monsters and weirdness that happens around here. - she nudged Dipper in his arm - Dude, if you didn't distract me, we would have never found this. - Y-Yeah. - Dipper replied with a equally ecstatic smile - And-and it looks like some pages are written in a code, look!

He opened the book and pointed to a series of mysterious signs that looked random, but upon further inspection were clearly written with some thought in mind.

- Guys, this might be something really big! - Dipper cheered - I thought we might get bored to death here, but-

Suddenly, Dipper remembered why he nearly made Wendy crash their cart.

- Wait, Wendy, did you mention "monsters"? - Oh yeah, the woods are chock full of them. - Wendy shrugged - Like manotaurs, giant ducks, and... - CORDUROY!

The three turned their head around as a new voice reached them. Dipper nearly dropped the mysterious book when a creature from the very same drawing he was looking at materialised itself in front of them, together with dozens of its spike-hatted brethren.

- ...gnomes. - Wendy spoke in disgust and spat - What do you want, you jerks? - We told you not to come here - one of the gnomes spoke - Not after your father tore down our forest. - Ugh. - Wendy rolled her eyes - He is a lumberjack, what else was he supposed to do? - We-Wendy, maybe we should-

Dipper's concern became real when the small, inoffensive-looking gnomes suddenly gathered around, and from the mass of colourful hats, a new, humongous gnome arose, comprised of the whole pack that just a moment ago looked comical.

- Er, okay, guys, it's time to scram.

Wendy didn't have to say it twice to the twins. The three jumped into the cart and Wendy slammed her foot onto the gas, driving them back towards the Shack. Mabel and Dipper watched as the monstrous mega-gnome was left behind, and for a moment, they thought they might have escaped its wrath. But a moment later, a deafening roar shook the forest and the colossal gnome appeared from behind the trees, running after them much faster than they anticipated.

- We-Wendy! It's-it's getting closer! - Check the book! - What? - Check the book, maybe there's something in it!

Dipper and Mabel quickly opened the mysterious journal back onto the page that described the gnomes. Dipper frantically looked through the hand-written descriptions, hearing the ominous, thundering footsteps behind him.

- Er... Er... We-wendy, there's nothing about their weaknesses! - Well, we'll have to improvise. - Wendy spoke - Hold on, guys! - Ah, my hat!

Dipper reached to grab his brown hat that flew with the wind and as it collided with the mouth of the gnome it was torn into pieces.

She made a sharp turn, and the next moment the twins found that for the second time this day their cart was on a collision course, this time with something much bigger.

- We-Wendy! The water tower! - Mabel screamed, but the red-hair was already steeping out of the cart as it slowed down.  

Something metallic shone onto her belt, and with a quick "Be right back", Wendy disappeared.

- Oh, great, she left us! - Dipper panicked, but Mabel pointed up. Dipper followed her, perhaps just to avert his eyes from the oncoming death.

With an axe in her hand, Wendy was climbing up the water tower, as as the gigantic gnome was about to squish Dipper and Mabel, she struck the old cistern, and jumped to the nearby tree, as the pressure did the rest. A stream of water hit the gnome in the face, and it began disintegrating, as if it was made from sugar, revealing each and every single little gnome that were part of it.

Like cats treated with a sprinkler, the might enemy dispersed, cursing Corduroy's name as they came back into the woods. With the same grace, Wendy jumped to the ground, welcomed by Dipper's and Mabel's overjoyed cheering.

- Wendy, that was the coolest... - ...most irresponsible, but definitely coolest... - ...think we've ever seen! - Wow, Your mom must be so proud of you! - Mabel exclaimed. - Yeah... I suppose she would be. - Wendy looked away for a moment - You gotta learn how to deal with these guys. Maybe I can help you complete this book, eh?

For a moment, Dipper didn't realise Wendy was addressing him. Though the water around them made the air chilly, he felt hot when his eyes locked with hers, and only Mabel's hand breaking that contact brought him down to earth.

- Oh, oh yeah! Sure!

Wendy raised her brow, and only after a while she realised that was missing from Dipper's usual look.

- Dipper, your hat's gone. - Oh, oh yeah, but it's not a big deal, Grunkle Stan has tons of caps in the Shack, I'm sure he will-

But before he could end the sentence, Wendy plucked her oversized hat onto his head. And as she ruffled his hair, she suddenly noticed something peculiar on his forehead.

- Woah, what's that? A birthmark? - Y-Yeah - Dipper blushed - It kinds looks like... - A big dipper! - Wendy exclaimed - Wow, that's so cool! Now I get why people call you that.

Once more, Dipper found himself speechless, looking at the stunning, brave girl, whose red hair were now illuminated by rainbows from the last streams of water leaking from the water tower. And before he knew it, they were back at the Shack, saying goodbye, as the sun was setting down, and their new friend had to go home.

- Oh, by the way... - Wendy's cheeks turned crimson - You are not the only one with a weird name. My middle one's Blerble.

She stuck her tongue out and waved the twins goodbye, before she ran into the forest, following a path only she knew.

Dipper let out a sigh and was about to walk into the shack, when he collided with his sister, and was met face-to-face with the widest of snarky grins he has ever seen.

- What? - Someone's in lo-ove! - Mabel sang - Come on, Mabel. - Dipper rolled his eyes. - It's not like that. - Oh yeah, mister "It's not like that" - she mocked him - You couldn't take your eyes from her! We drove past like a dozen of weird things and you didn;t even flinch, you were ogling her soooo much!

Dipper walked faster, trying to escape Mabel's taunts.

- Mabel, Wendy is just our friend, we just met her! And yeah, she is cool, and can climb trees, and knows all about the wildlife, and she saved our lives, and she wants to help work on the... the book with me...

Dipper Pines stopped in the middle of the Mystery Shack, and uttered a single "Oh no", just as Mabel erupted into laughter.

[fereality-indy]

Gravity Falls Valor Force Rangers Ch 6

“You mean like this?” Thompson said as he started to mimic the movement Fiddleford had made only to have Fiddleford grab his arm before he finished the motion.

 “Actually you will want ta modify your stance, unless you want ta take a pole ta tha kisser.” Fiddleford said as he showed Thompson the same stance only with his hand held perpendicular to his body.  

 “Ok so like this?” he said as he completed the modified motion. He closed his hand around the shaft of a staff like weapon. It was solid black staff with gold highlights that ended with a flat spade like head that had two rings hanging off the bottom of the head.

“That there is tha Tanuki’s Spade, based around tha old school Monk’s Spade.” Fiddleford said as a description. “Ya fight with it like ya would a staff or a spear.”

“Ok, I can work with that.” Thompson said as he spun the shaft in his hand.

 “Now’n, why don’t tha rest o you’ns try y’alls?” Fiddleford said looking over at the rest of the gathered Rangers.

 Wendy and Pacifica flung out the right arm the way they were showed, while Dipper did the same with both arms.

 “Now’n I believe you know your way around your weapon Miss Corduroy. That there is tha Phoenix Wing Ax.” he said as he looked over at Wendy. She was holding a red and gold ax where the shaft was solid red with golden highlights and the blade is shaped like a phoenix wing.

 “And yers are tha Jackalope Antler Hook Swords,” he said to Dipper who was holding a pair of green and gold swords which end in a split antler like hook.

 “Finally, lil lady, you’n have the Pegasus Tail Whip.” he said to Pacifica who was holding an ornate pink and gold handle that led to a six foot pink bullwhip.

 Turning back to Dipper he added “Once you get those to yer sister she’n have weapons too.”

      “Whoop, whoop” began blaring as red panic lights started going off. Ford turned back to the instruments he had been monitoring.

 “Rangers, it appears like the monster is back. He’s causing chaos at Gravity Falls Mall.” Ford called back to the team, “Fiddleford prepare to teleport them.”

 “We’ll be in a crowded area guys, so only use colors or patrons instead of names.” Wendy said as the team was teleported out.  

 Meanwhile

 “Go my minions, start herding the miscreants towards me. I have a revival tent to get filled.” Carnibel Lectern told the Cryptizones that accompanied him.

 The Cryptizones began grabbing people and corralling them towards the Mall’s food court. Suddenly a flash of rainbow colored light hit near the Hermano Bros stall. once the light cleared the Valor Force were standing there with their weapons drawn.

 “Valor Force time to kick it Ranger style. Pegasus, Tanuki, Get the civilians clear. Jackalope, you’re with me.” Wendy called out as the team headed towards their respective targets.

 Thompson rushed over and used flat head of the Tanuki’s Spade to scoop up the first Cryptizone he encountered. He then hurled it towards a group of Cryptizones blocking a door. Looking at the gathered people he shouted, “Hurry folks get out of here.”

As the crowd of people rush towards the exit a few Cryptizones attempted to stop them only to be stopped themselves by sudden cracks from the Pegasus Whip. The lead Cryptizone was grabbed at the ankle and spun around Pacifica as she twirled in place. She then sent him flying into a wall.

Wendy and Dipper fought their way though the Cryptizones that tried to block them. Dipper was tripping them with one blade while striking out with the other. Meanwhile Wendy was discovering that though her new ax was larger the her trusty lumberjack ax, the heft and the balance were remarkably similar. And with each swing she sent more of the enemies flying.

 “I have an plan,” Dipper called as they continued.

 Inside Carnibel Lectern’s Revival Tent

 “What is up with you people?” Mabel called out as she looked around a her fellow captives. She felt another jolt as she stood and began taking off her cardigan, “Gordie, where’s your teenage spirit. You were all about sticking it to ‘The Man’ last time I saw you and this tool is the biggest ‘Man’ I’ve seen in a while. Mr. Poolcheck, who’s gonna run the pool this summer if you’re stuck here, he doesn’t seem like the type who likes swimming. Pizzaguy, he probably doesn’t even know what a deep dish even is. Everyone needs to snap out of it. We need to come together here. We need to fight back against his tyranny. So who’s with me?”

 There was another jolt that flowed through her as she ripped off the poodle skirt but then she was free. Looking around she saw she had some of their attention but they still seemed  glassy eyed. And then there were the Cryptizones. They began to swarm towards her as a group.  

 “I like the peace, but will there be any pizza? I don’t see any pizza!” Pizzguy called out as what the Blue Ranger said to him sank in.

 “My Pool! He won’t have any idea how to use a pool skimmer!” Poolcheck called as he seemed to shake off the daze he was in.

 “Down with the oligarchy!” Gordie said as he ripped the sleeves off of his shirt.  

 “That’s it guys, fight off the control. He wants to try and run our lives like some sort of cult leader.” Mabel called out as the Cryptizones began to attack her. She fought back taking more than a few out but the seemed to still be more. As the next wave started to advance they were thinned out by a swinging chair.

 "FOR FREEDOM!” Poolcheck called as he swung again.

 “FOR FREEDOM!” Gordie added as he jumped into the fray like it was some type of mosh pit.

 “FOR PIZZA!” Pizza guy called out as he pulled a Cryptizone from the fight. When everybody stopped and looked at him he added, with a shrug of his shoulders, “What? I want some pizza!”

 Back Outside

 “Hey you overgrown, walking stepstool. Why don’t you try taking  on somebody your own size.” Dipper called as he squared up to Carnibel Lectern.

 “You really wish to try me young Ranger? Where is your respect for your elders?” Carnibel Lectern said as he turned to fully face the Green Ranger.

 “You lost any hope of getting my respect when you devoured my sister!” Dipper said keeping his left sword at his side as he raised his right one.

 “Well then I will have to teach you respect the old fashioned way.” Carnibel Lectern called as he lunged towards him, attempting to skewer him with his quadrinent.

 In one smooth movement Dipper parried the attack with the sword in his right hand, slipping the hook of his blade in the quadrinent’s tines. At the same time he brought the sword in his left up and swung it’s hook around the back of the quadrinent’s head capturing it. As soon as he was certain his plan had worked he called out, "Now!”

 As Carnibel Lectern tried to free his quadrinent, he watched as the Red Ranger seemingly appeared out of now where. He had been so focused on the Green Ranger he had completely missed her.

 Wendy ‘Whooped’ with joy as she brought her ax down straight across the monster’s weapon. In a flash of red light her blade sliced straight through the weapon’s handle and into it’s head. There was pulse of light and a blast of force that knocked everyone back. As Wendy looked up from where she landed, she saw Dipper and Pacifica were already up. They were rushing towards Mabel and the released townsfolk. Once she reached her, Pacifica quickly pulled Mabel into a hug.

 As soon as Mabel was free from the hug she turned to the trio that had been helping her fight the Cryptizones in the other dimension. “Thank you gentlemen, we can take it from here. Can I count on you three to lead the others to safety.”

 “Yes ma’am,” Pizza guy said as Gordie was helping some people to their feet and Poolcheck was already leading others out of the Mall’s food court. Gordie looked as though he wanted to stay and fight, but thought better of it and helped get the rest of the bystanders clear.

 As soon as he saw they were out of earshot, Dipper pulled out Mabel’s sheaths and gave her a quick explanation. He called out his swords as a demo.

 “Oh man, I wonder what weapons I have.” Mabel said as she slipped her sheaths on, “Maybe a pair of guns or some nunchucks or a dual grappling hooks.”

 “Only one way to find out,” Pacifica said with a smile under her helmet. It was so good to have her girlfriend back.

 Mabel dropped her hands behind her back the way Dipper had showed her, as she pulled them forward her fingers seemed to grip around something that felt like a pair of Grunkle Stan’s knuckle dusters. She continue the motion and saw that while the grip was similar, there was a solid white plate at the front instead of the simple band. Emblazoned on the each plate was a blue horseshoe.

 “Welcome back Girlie,” she heard Fiddleford say over the speaker in her helmet.

“Thanks McG,” Mabel replied with a lil chuckle.

 McGuket’s voice continued, “What you have there is a pair of Kelpie Hoof Knuckles.  I reckon they should work just fine with your boxing skills.”  

 “Awesome! And I know just who I want to use them on,” she said as she turned to face Carnibel Lectern.

By now all but a couple of the Cryptizones had been taken out. The remaining ones converged on Carnibel Lectern's location.   One by one the Rangers regrouped around Mabel. Taking in the weapons of her friends, she softly spoke to them over their radios. “Guys, I have a plan…”

 Once she had finished explaining what she wanted to do, they spread out. Wendy and Thompson went in first, quickly taking out the remaining Cryptizones. The were followed by Pacifica, who quickly caught Carnibel Lectern’s left arm with her whip, and Dipper, who caught the right arm in the tines of his swords. This left Mabel who rushed in and delivered a flurry of rabbit punches to his midsection before ducking low and coming back with an uppercut that would have knocked his head off if he had one. As Mabel moved to the side, Wendy stepped onto the flat of Thompson’s staff and he catapulted her into the air. She came down and delivered the finishing blow. As the explosion ended they were left with an old broken down pulpit.

 “We better take this back to HQ so it can be tested.” Dipper said as picked it up. And in a flash of light they were gone.

 Later at The One That Got Café

“Hey Candy, 평소의 라운드!” * Thompson called out as the group sat down at a booth.

 Pacifica made sure to sit next to Mabel and once they were settled in she pulled Mabel’s arm around her shoulder.

 “Whoa Paz, are you sure? We’re in public, what if you parents hear?” Mabel asked in mock shock.

 "Mabs, I don’t care anymore. I nearly lost you today.” Pacifica said as she gave Mabel a quick kiss and the laid her head on Mabel’s shoulder. “If anyone has a problem with my loving you, they can bugger off.”

 Mabel giggled a little at that turn of phrase. Then she placed a gentle kiss on the top of Pacifica’a head, “I learned a bit about being true to yourself today, myself.”   

As he watched the exchange, Dipper felt a hand on his. He looked over at his best friend (and long time crush) and smiled.

 “Hey guys, say cheese!” Tambry called from over near the counter.

 The five friends quickly smiled for the picture.  

--------

* Round of the usual please!

[svtskneecaps]

Walls Could Talk Part 1 ~ handsome student

(Seventeen Fic, Superpower! Non-Idol! High school! AU)

You’re just a high school kid trying to survive your senior year. Seems simple enough. Problem is, you landed a major crush on a good looking transfer student, and unfortunately, the both of you are hiding some abilities that are a bit less than normal, and there’s a ghost you thought you buried in your past that’s rearing his ugly head. So… maybe this won’t be as easy as you were hoping.

((Optional Main Cast Introduction))

You were not a tutor.

You were very afraid to take matters in your own hands and accidentally do things the wrong way. You were even more afraid to take matters in your own hands and accidentally teach someone to do something wrong. You were absolutely terrified to screw someone else over because you weren’t smart enough.

Working with the English Language Learners was different. English was a strong suit of yours. You’d grown up speaking the damn language, you knew what you were doing. It just came naturally; you didn’t even have to pay attention to get it. And besides, you were just a student assist there, not the freaking teacher! You just sat there and acted as a second opinion if asked and occasionally woke Jihoon when the over exhausted junior passed out on his desk again.

But this? This was different. This was new. You didn’t like it, not a bit, but also, you needed service hours and your teacher practically begged you to tutor this struggling student, so you’d signed up. Just because you adored that teacher and wanted to help her out because she was new and had a bunch of classes filled with those kinds of kids who were incapable of shutting their mouths.

Your math classes usually were. It was infuriating. You were almost shocked you were even able to pass the class yourself.

Oh shoot, you were complaining again. You hated it when you did that. Rambled off on the same shit over and over and no one shut you up. Purely out of habit you reached for your phone, maybe to text a friend, get some moral support-

You halted the motion. You forgot, you’d purged everyone from your phone and changed your number. You had three contacts now: your mom, your dad, and your grandparents, and you couldn’t text your online friend on school internet. No support was coming.

You’d been waiting in the math classroom for about fifteen minutes. Your teacher said you’d all meet there right after school. Either she’d been lying or you had gotten the room number wrong. You checked your email for the millionth time, rechecking the room number to make absolutely certain you were in the right spot. Really, none of this was helping with the backflips your internal organs were doing. You were going to be a professional gymnast by the time they showed up.

The math teacher entered the room twenty nine minutes and thirty two seconds after she said she would be there, according to the clock on the wall. “Sorry, one of my students stayed behind to take a quiz!”

“It’s fine,” you said almost automatically.

“Where’s Jun? I sent him down ahead of me.”

“Maybe he got lost?” you offered, sincerely hoping it wasn’t the Jun you were thinking of, because if it was, you were in need of a cliff. Nothing against him, just you were highly intimidated and weren’t sure how you could handle teaching him the weird math stuff like the unit circle or anti derivatives or something equally bananas.

Shoot, you got distracted. What was she saying?

“Oh, Jun!”

Shit.

So. . . you were right. It was Junhui Wen you were going to be tutoring. The really intimidating guy from sixth period ELL.

You were gonna implode.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said sheepishly (with that infuriatingly attractive accent of his, like could you get any more cliché but you absolutely loved accents and his was so cute). “I guess I didn’t understand the room number.”

“That’s okay, you’re here now,” your teacher said encouragingly. You did a mental sweep of your body, trying to make sure you weren’t visibly freaking out. Inside was enough. “Jun, this is Y/N. Y/N, Jun.”

You forced an uncertain smile and a quiet greeting. He beamed at you.

Jesus Christ, you were going to combust.

“I’ll leave you two to set up a schedule.” The teacher ducked out. No don’t go, I’ll straight up pass. . . . . Away.

You shifted awkwardly, even more afraid now that the adult was gone. Because of course you were. Time to fall back on your best excuse.

“My ride is actually here, and I don’t really want to keep them waiting,” you said. “Can we exchange numbers or something and maybe text tonight to set something up?”

“That’s fine!”

At least he was enthusiastic. You handed him your phone, trusting him to input his number as you input your own. You just titled the contact with your name. No need to be extravagant, even though you had all sorts of extravagant names. ‘Probably not captain america’ was your current personal favorite. Last week you’d had the sudden urge to change it to ‘extremely judgmental hat’. It wasn’t particularly funny, but it amused you.

You heard Jun laugh and your face caught fire. Did he see your contact names? Oh god, you forgot your dad’s contact was ‘overlarge lumberjack’. Did he know what that meant? Oh god. You had the sudden urge to hide yourself in a sweatshirt, but it was too hot for those still. Your short sleeved shirt didn’t exactly leave you much room to bury yourself.

He handed you your phone back, and you pocketed it, thinking that if he commented on how red your face definitely was you were going to blame it on a rare genetic condition and spew some sciency sounding words, like deoxyribonucleic acid and supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. “I’ll text you tonight then?” you said, as though your brain wasn’t essentially that Spongebob gif where everything’s on fire.

“Yeah.”

You beat a hasty retreat, slinging your things into the backseat of your car and not truly relaxing until you pulled out of the parking lot, resting your head on the steering wheel at a particularly long red light. Technically you hadn’t lied to him, you reasoned. Being your own ride, you hadn’t lied when you said your ride was there, and you didn’t want to keep yourself waiting because your mind would eat you alive if you did you had homework you needed to do, but it still wasn’t quite the truth. Not a lie, a misleading truth, you reasoned.

But maybe that was just as bad.

The memory of your anxious words resonated through your skull, every little falter, every slightly off pitch, every piece of intonation. You groaned, the only thing keeping you from slamming your head into the steering wheel of your car being the knowledge that she would complain about it until the end of time itself. That was unusual for a car, but not for Wendy, evidently.

“Bad day?” her metallic voice rang in your ears.

“You could call it that.”

You were long unfazed by objects talking to you. Actually, you’d never been fazed. It took you seven years to realize it wasn’t something everyone could do, which was about two years too long.

The car huffed, a puff of exhaust rising behind you like an exhale. “Was it Derek? Tell me it wasn’t Derek. No, tell me it was. I’ve got a couple things I’d like to do to him.” Her engine revved threateningly.

“Not Derek, don’t worry. Just the guy I’m going to tutor. It’s stressing me out a little.”

“Is he like Derek? Do you need me to run him over for you?”

“No no no, he’s nice,” you hastily reassured her. “I mean, I think so anyway.” You’d thought Derek was nice too.

“Green light,” the car warned. You looked up and refocused on driving as the car continued speaking. “You just say the word and I’ll get him, sweetheart. I ain’t about to let another Derek get within ten miles of hurting my baby girl.”

“Me either,” you mumbled. Never again.

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Sorry about the shoddy formatting on the pics n whatever. I fiddled with the html but it didn’t do jack so idk what to do.

Anyway, update schedule’s the same as Stop Loving (my previous text story; a Choi Seungcheol Hanahaki AU if that sounds interesting). Next update should come between Thursday, January 24 and Saturday, January 26.

[timmyrx2000]

Dipper Steps Up: Chapter 6

Chapter Index: (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Chapter 6

When Wendy and Dipper left the Shack, the sun had just set. The night insects had not yet tuned up, but bats twittered overhead and out in the forest the woodpeckers, who didn't give up until the light was almost gone, drummed away. "Where are we going?" Dipper asked as they stepped off the trail.

"Into the woods," Wendy said. "You bring a flashlight, dude?"

"Yeah, I have one of the prototypes Grunkle Ford made."

"Good deal. I got the one I use camping. We'll need light on the way back."

In the gathering twilight they hiked on, uphill and down, skirting thickets of huckleberry, boggy growths of cobra lily, and stands of trailplant, threading their way through second-growth fir and pine forests, passing expanses of tree stumps and seedlings. "Dad logs all through here," Wendy said in one clearing, the air sharp with the scent of freshly-cut wood. She switched on her own flashlight and said, "Not far now."

Finally, they reached the cleared crown of a domed hill. Stars spangled the sky overhead, lots more than Dipper had ever seen in Piedmont, where the light pollution from Oakland and San Francisco dimmed them. No moon yet—it was gibbous and waning and, because of the recent change to Daylight Saving Time, it wouldn't rise until nearly eleven.

Creatures howled in the distance. Like the panda duck that Dipper had tried to win for Wendy, the species were indeterminate. In Gravity Falls, they might be anything. Wendy stood beside a stump and took a deep breath. "OK, dude, I know you won't freak out, but this might be rough on you. Remember I'm here for you, though. Wanna hold my hand?"

"Anytime," Dipper said. Her hand was warm in his.

"OK, Gramps, I brought him!" Wendy yelled into the night.

Dipper looked at her, but she had turned off the flashlight and he saw only her silhouette against the stars. "Huh?"

"He said not to tell you till he got here. Gramps! It's me, Wendy!"

In front of them, a greenish fog coalesced. Floating a couple of feet above the ground, it pulsed and brightened and then shrank in on itself, transforming into a hulking, bearded human figure.

"Oh, my gosh!" Dipper said. "The ghost from the Northwest mansion!"

"Dipper," the apparition moaned in its deep, rumbling voice. "I have to talk to you. I mean you no harm!"

Dipper almost sagged with relief. "No problem, sir! Wendy, I'm not afraid of him. You look a lot better, Mr. uh, Lumberjack. Your beard's not on fire, and your missing eye seems to have healed up. And the, uh, axe in your head's gone."

"I'm not haunting anyone now," the ghost explained, self-consciously straightening the blow tie it wore on its . . . beard. "I have no wish to terrify. When you're a ghost, you can take many forms."

"Dude," Wendy said, squeezing Dipper's hand, "this is Archibald Corduroy. He's, like, my great-great grandfather!"

"I wondered about that!" Dipper said. "I saw his picture in your house—uh, it's nice to meet you, Mr. Corduroy."

"You treated me well," the ghost said. "I regret tricking you and then turning you into wood."

"That . . . was sort of scary," Dipper admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

The apparition shrugged modestly. "Well, I am a ghost."

"Yeah. Uh, excuse me, but I thought that after Pacifica let everybody in, you had gone on to, you know, your reward."

"I could not bear to leave this forest that I loved so much in life," the ghost said, gesturing with a sweep of his glowing arm that took in all the surroundings. "Also, once free of haunting the hated Northwest house, I wondered what had become of my family. I soon discovered I have a mighty descendant in Daniel, and a beautiful one in Wendy." The ghost floated next to Dipper and confided: "She likes you, boy!"

"Aw, Gramps!" Wendy said, laughing. "Cut it out, dude! Look, I brought Dipper, like you asked, so just tell him what you've got for him, OK?"

The ghost backed away from Dipper, towering over them both. "He's a brave, intelligent boy, Wendy. You could do a lot worse."

"I really like your great-great granddad," Dipper said to Wendy.

Wendy giggled. "You guys! C'mon, Gramps."

"Very well. Dipper, the root of your friend's trouble is another ghost from the past. An evil one. Well, I say 'evil,' I suppose I went a little overboard myself, but my anger branched out from the betrayal the Northwests committed against my friends and me—no, no, I'll cut that short. Forget it. I'm sorry for the bad things that came from my long hatred, leave it at that. But now an ill-intentioned spirit is trying to possess your fiend Taylor. If he succeeds, terrible things will happen. You have to stop him."

"How?" Dipper asked, his throat feeling tight.

"I'm a lumberjack, not an exorcist," the ghost said a little irritably. "You must discover the way to help. Speak to the boy's family. Seek out his mother. Tell her. She will sense the truth of what I've told you. And beware! The spirit that threatens your friend is implacable, his grip as strong as cypress roots!"

"Dude," Wendy said, "you have, like, a really good vocabulary for a nineteenth-century lumberjack!"

"Being an outdoorsman doesn't mean you have to be illiterate, girl." The ghost started to dim.

"Wait, wait!" Dipper said. "Uh, sir—who is the ghost? That would help!"

"You already know in your heart," the fading ghost said. "It is a spirit that wishes to reincarnate—for revenge!"

"Bill Cipher?"

For just a second the ghost became a little brighter and clearer. "Who? No! Think human!"

And Archibald Corduroy went out like a candle flame in a wind.

"Who did he mean?" Dipper asked in the sudden darkness.

"I'm stumped," Wendy confessed. "Man, Dipper, you took that whole thing a lot better'n I expected! First time Archibald appeared to me, I totally freaked!"

"When was that?"

"Fall, two years back, after you an' Mabes went back to California. Along in October. I was in the woods behind our house cuttin' down some deadwood for the fireplace, and there he was, floatin' right in front of me. I kinda attacked him with my axe, but that went nowhere fast. He eventually calmed me down and told me who he was and all, and said he was gonna watch over our family and protect us, and since then I never saw him again—until I started asking around about the Northwests. Few days ago, he appeared to me in a stall of the girls' bathroom at school. Now, that was awkward. Anyhow, he seemed to know you were gonna come to Gravity Falls and said I needed to get you an' him together so he could tell you something, and he said you might be scared, so not to let you know who I was takin' you to see. You weren't scared, though. Good for you, dude!"

Dipper shrugged. "Those first ghosts I ever saw, the ones in the Dusk 2 Dawn, scared the heck out of me. Mainly because of what they were doing to Mabel and your friends. But I've kinda learned that most ghosts don't want to hurt you. Who could be haunting Chuck Taylor, though?"

"Dunno, man," Wendy said. They'd both switched on their flashlights and were headed back through the woods.

They didn't talk much. But when the lights of the Mystery Shack gleamed through the trees ahead, Dipper stopped in his tracks and said, "Reincarnate. Oh, no!"

Wendy stopped too. "What's wrong, Dip?"

"No," Dipper said. "No, no, no. I hope I'm wrong."

"About what?" she asked.

He swallowed hard. "Nathaniel Northwest."

The rest of the week flew by without any substantial developments in the case. Grunkle Ford lent Dipper a few detection devices and taught him how to use them, and then Grunkle Stan drove the kids home the next Saturday.

They spent Sunday and Monday brushing up for the CAHSEE that the school would give on Tuesday and Wednesday, and to their relief, the tests didn't seem all that hard. "I hope you didn't get bored and start putting down random answers," Dipper told Mabel after the last exam ended.

"Nope!" Mabel said. "I learned my lesson after the test I took in fifth grade that said I should be busted to kindergarten."

Chuck had seemed OK, and that afternoon, their first practice since the early spring break, he recovered his playing form again, pitching hard, hitting hard, running full-out. The Thursday practice was good, too, and Dipper began to think that everything was all right again.

Saturday brought a big game with the Bay City Blues. Their win-loss record tied Piedmont's, and Coach said that the teams were a pretty close match in ability, too. The Blues had a good pitching staff, some good hitters, and typically racked up scores of five to ten points in a game. They weren't the most spectacular team, but like the Panthers they played a steady, relentless game.

Saturday morning, the game started out well. Bay City won the toss and chose to take the field. Their pitcher had game: he struck out both Mike and Petey with three pitches each, and Dipper began to think the Panthers were doomed to an early loss.

However, Chuck, looking healthy, belted out a solid double, and following him at bat, both JD and Barb managed singles, sending Chuck home for the first run of the game. Unfortunately, Jon J sent a sweet high fly ball deep into left field—and right into the fielder's glove.

Chuck's pitching began unsteadily. The first batter racked up one strike and three balls before hitting a single. The second man up got a double on the first pitch, putting the runner on third and ready to score. From the bench, Tripper watched Chuck wipe sweat from his face, kick at the mound, and then lean forward, looking determined.

Off on the sidelines, Mabel, in her cheerleader costume, acted subdued. The Panthers had a bigger crowd than ever—their away games had frankly pitiful attendance, just the kids' parents and maybe five or six students—but now the bleachers were nearly full of cheering kids and adults. Except Mabel's enthusiasm had ebbed. Dipper knew she was worrying about Chuck.

However, Chuck promptly struck out two Blues in a row. The next two batters both got on base, though, one single, one double. Then when Vance McCall stepped into the batter's box, Chuck took his time considering his first pitch. McCall was the Blues' best hitter by far.

And he proved it by pulling a low fly to far right field, where it hit and bounced, for a moment looking as if it would go straight to Petey DeFoy—but then it bounced again, taking a bad hop deeper into fair territory, making it hard to field.

McCall wound up standing on second base. The first two Blues scored, and there went Piedmont's lead. As though to apologize to the fans, Chuck struck the next guy out with three fast pitches.

Second inning began with X-Man getting a single, trying to push it into a double, and getting tagged out. However, then both Hi-Ho and Bobby made it to base—Hi-Ho successfully stealing second before Bobby's single put him on third. Dub struck out, and it was Dipper's turn.

He'd been working hard on his batting. He let a ball go by, choked up on his grip, and took a swing at the next pitch—and connected. It was a grounder, skipping just past the third baseman and running right along the foul line.

Miracle of miracles, it didn't cross the line, and Dipper made it to first! More, it took Hi-Ho home—Dipper's first RBI. For a moment, it looked like a Piedmont rally, but Big W's hard grounder was snagged by the Blues shortstop, who fired the ball home just in time for the catcher to tag Bobby out.

The Blues couldn't get anything going in the bottom half, and the second inning closed with a 2-2 tie.

The Panthers came to bat for the third inning. Coach sent Dipper and Krenk in as subs and asked Chuck how he was feeling. "I'm OK," he insisted, though Dipper thought he was sweating harder than usual. It was a dismal inning, three Panthers coming up to bat, two being put out, one getting on base, and then with Jimmy in scoring position on third base—Krenk went down swinging, one, two, three, to retire the side.

In the bottom, Chuck's pitching was noticeably slower and less accurate. Still, he held the Blues to just one run, though that put them ahead again, three to two.

Before the turnover, Coach walked out and asked Chuck, "You gonna be OK? I can pull you."

Dipper saw Chuck shake his head and heard him mutter, "I think laying off practice last week put me off my game. I'll stay in."

In the top of the fourth inning, Mike, first up, got a single, and Chuck matched it. Coach called for time out and said, "Pines, you're faster. Go in as a pinch runner for Monohan."

Though he felt a flutter of anxiety, Dipper did. He led off second, tense, ready to jump back if the Blues pitcher suddenly turned and threw to the second baseman. Like Chuck, the Blues pitcher seemed to have lost some steam, and JD blasted his first pitch into a hard liner into the gap and dug out on what looked to be a double—but the right fielder scooped it up and got it to first in time to hold him.

But Dipper, running full out, tagged third, saw the coach motion him, and, imagining the Gobblewonker nipping at his heels, blasted for home. He could hear Mabel, not leading a cheer, but just screaming "Go, Bro, go, go, GO!"

The catcher stepped up, mitt raised, and Dipper fell into a slide, raising dust. The ball smacked the mitt. Dipper's cleats touched home plate, the catcher tagged his calf, and the ump yelled, "Safe!"

The crowd went wild. Well, mostly Mabel went wild, but still. He had tied the game again, 3-all.

There the Panthers lost their luck. One man out on a pop fly, and then a double play ended their chance to pull ahead.

Chuck didn't look as if he felt well when he stood on the mound. But he bore down and struck out the first two Blues at bat—the second out was actually their first man in the rotation. Then he got two strikes past the third batter—and as he wound up for the third pitch, all at once he tottered and went down on one knee, the ball on the ground, his right hand going out to brace himself. He croaked, "Coach!"

Waylund, Dipper, and the other Panthers hustled out. "What's wrong, Chuck?" Coach asked.

"Real dizzy," Chuck gasped. "Better take me out."

The crowd applauded as Waylund helped Chuck to the dugout, and Dipper saw Mr. and Mrs. Taylor coming down from the bleachers, looking anxious. Waylund sent in Jon J as replacement pitcher, and he did his best, but Chuck's second near-faint had shaken up him and the other Panthers, and Jon J let another two Blues batters on base before the next one got a single, pulling the Blues ahead by one run. Then he pulled it together and struck the last man out.

Dipper hastily trotted in to ask Chuck how he was feeling. Chuck, huddled on the bench, shrugged miserably. "We'll take him back to the doctor," his dad said.

"Not until the game ends," Chuck said firmly. "Just a little dizzy."

It might have gone better if he'd gone then. The Panthers, keenly aware that Chuck was sick and was watching them, lost their concentration. They fought the game out, even managing another run in the top of the seventh, but it ended with a Blues win, 9-4.

Dipper had missed an easy catch and had fanned three pitches, striking out in the worst way possible. As soon as the game ended, the Taylors took Chuck away—he was walking under his own power, at least—and the team morosely apologized to the coach.

"Forget it, men," he said. "I'll stay in touch with the Taylors and get word out to you if it looks serious. Let's hope it isn't."

"We're all hoping," Mabel said. She had come into the dugout, and tears stood in her eyes.

In the back seat of the family car, as their mom and dad stood outside talking about the game—and probably Chuck's illness—Dipper said to Mabel, "I'm going over to the Taylors' this afternoon."

"I'm coming too," she said.

"If you want. Listen, do me a big favor. You get Chuck and his dad aside somehow. I have to talk to Mrs. Taylor."

"About what?"

Dipper's voice was grim: "About a family ghost."

To be continued

Note from the Authors: This was just an idea I had but the one who really worked his magic and wrote almost all of this is none other than BillEase. He’s an amazing author who usually hangs out at fanfiction.net. Don’t pass up on a chance to check out his stuff. This guy is AMAZING. He wrote the story, I just gave the plot.

[bluemarblebooks]

Holly’s Mock Recommendations - June 25, 2019

Mock Newbery

Counting to Perfect [Wendy Lamb Books, $16.99, hc] by Suzanne LaFleur - Cassie feels invisible. She's a champion swimmer, but no one comes to her meets anymore. Her grades are almost all A's, but all her Dad only sees is the one B in science. Her friends all seem to have deserted her. And then there's her older sister, Julie. First Julie stole all the lime-light by being the perfect student. Then Julie messed up, big-time, and got pregnant, but that only meant that everything at home was all about Julie and her pregnancy, and then all about Julie and her baby. Cassie remembers a time when she and her sister were close. They used to play hide-and-seek by counting up to thirty, which they had both decided was the perfect number. So one morning when Julie announces that she and baby Addie are escaping and she invites Cassie to come along, Cassie jumps at the chance to repair her relationship with her sister. Through days of sharing lumberjack breakfasts, baby care, and unwinding swims in hotel pools and camp ground lakes, Cassie figures out what she needs to do to fix the rest of her problems. Now all she needs to do is come up with the courage to speak up for herself. A well-written and rare look at how precious sibling relationships can be.

Mock Caldecott

Undercover Ostrich [Carolrhoda Books. $17.99, hc] by Joe Kulka - Everyone knows about undercover chameleons. They change color to blend in with their surroundings. But no one is better at going undercover than an ostrich. Right? An ostrich can hide by pretending to be a robin in a bird bath, a woodpecker on the side of a tree, a duck in a pond. Right? Or he could even hide at your house, pretending to be sandbox toy, or a lamp, or one of your pets. Right? You'd never know he was there. A silly, fun book about a very ostentatious bird!

Hey, Water [Neal Porter Books, $17.99, hc] by Antoinette Portis - Water! You're all around. You come from the faucet, the sprinkler, the shower. You trickle out of the hose, gurgle along in the stream, and rush down the river to the sea. You have so many forms: rain, fog, steam, clouds, snow, ice. In this beautifully designed book, Portis takes the reader on a thoughtful journey that shows how important water is to the world—it's even inside of us! The short, cadenced bits of text are reinforced by a single word identifying each picture.

[animationnut]

To Gravity Falls, From Piedmont: Chapter 21

Summary: It’s a long way until next summer. Until then, Dipper and Mabel share their daily antics and life problems with their lifelong friends and attentive great-uncles through an endless string of e-mails. Distance makes the heart grow fonder after all, and there’s no place Dipper and Mabel love more than Gravity Falls. 

                                                   Chapter List

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

From: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)

Subject: Greatest snowman to ever exist

1 Attachment (Photo File)

This wicked snowstorm means no school, and no school means complete freedom. My brothers and I worked together to build this snowman, which is totally the best snowman ever created and you can't tell me otherwise.

See all messages in this thread (Expand)

Mabel Pines: Oh my gosh! It's amazing! How much tape did you need to use to get it to hold up the axe?

Wendy Corduroy: About two rolls. But it's okay. They look like bandages covering a really nasty wound.

Dipper Pines: Whose ushanka did you steal to give it a hat?

Wendy Corduroy: My brothers had to draw straws. Glen lost.

Stanley Pines: You don't know how much I wish I was in Gravity Falls right now. Soos, take a baseball bat to it!

Soos Ramirez: No way, Mr. Pines. Snowmen have a right to exist too.

Wendy Corduroy: Don't be jealous just because you know you could never craft a good a snowman as mine.

Stanford Pines: I suppose you know what you're about to start with a comment like that.

Stanley Pines: It's on, Missy. I'll make a snowman that'll kick yours to the curb and steal its wallet.

Stanford Pines: I'll admit you've always been creative, but your crafting skills have never been up to par.

Soos Ramirez: Mr. Pines made all the exhibits at the gift shop. He's the best crafter there is.

Stanley Pines: You tell him, Soos. Poindexter may be able to invent weird gadgets, but he knows nothing about artsmanship.

Stanford Pines: First of all, that's not a word. Second of all, you don't need to be a genius (which I am) to beat you in a snowman building contest.

Wendy Corduroy: Ah yeah! Here comes the smack-down! My entry is already done. Feel free tearing each other apart for my entertainment. I've clearly won.

Soos Ramirez: Your lumberjack snowman is pretty rad, but I've been building snowmen for years. Abuelita said I was the best at it. Dunno if you can beat that.

Stanley Pines: All right Ford, looks like we're making a detour to a wintry place. I've got some hopeful souls to crush. Especially yours.

Mabel Pines: Woo-hoo! Let the games begin!

School bag slung over one shoulder, Dipper entered the kitchen to retrieve a can of soda from the fridge. He popped the tab with one hand while he used the other to dig his phone out of his pocket. He read through Wendy's email to see the comments made after his, eyebrow raising.

"Mabel, encouraging them makes it worse!"

His sister appeared in the entryway, Waddles skittering behind her on the hardwood floor. "They would have turned it into a competition anyway. I'm just showing my support."

Dipper sat down at the kitchen table and dropped his bag to rest by his sock-clad feet. He studied the picture Wendy had attached to her e-mail again, grinning at the ice and snow creation that loomed a head taller than the redheaded female. There was a dark brown ushanka pulled over the top, smallest snowball, a pair of acorns for eyes, a broken handle of a pick for a nose and the metal handle (from what Dipper assumed to be the same pick) for the mouth. There was a red plaid wool jacket shrugged over the middle snowball and through the arms of the jacket were two thick pieces of chopped wood. At the ends of the wood were frayed white work gloves. Attached to the right glove was an axe, held in place by black tape.

"Isn't it cool?" sighed Mabel wistfully, peering over her brother's shoulder. "I like California, but the problem is that we don't get snow days. While we were doing math Wendy was making a snowman."

"How cruel life can be," quipped Dipper.

Mabel poked the back of his neck. "Come on. As much as you love school you'd love a snow day."

"I would," Dipper failed to deny. "But that's not going to happen. We'll just have admire the snowmen from afar and be with them in spirit."

Propping her chin against the top of Dipper's head, Mabel wondered, "What do you think Grunkle Ford will build?"

"Probably something to do with his research. If he doesn't do a life-size sculpture of the abominable snowman I am going to be rather disappointed."

"Grunkle Stan?"

The two fell into a thoughtful silence for a moment. After a while, Dipper replied, "I honestly couldn't begin to imagine. But I doubt it'll be appropriate."

To: Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)

From: Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

Subject: Behold the beauty

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Yo, dudes.

No offense, Wendy, your snowman was super cool, but mine's super cooler. It sparkles and it has some oomph to it. I just wanna thank my inspiration for motivating my creativity. Couldn't have done it without you.

Soos out!

Lying on her back in the soft grass, Mabel splayed out, absorbing the sun's rays. Waddle laid across her stomach, nibbling at the hem of her light blue fleece sweater. Dipper was beside her, reclining against a looming oak tree, nose buried in a book. They were both distracted from their peaceful relaxing as their phones beeped in unison, alerting them to a notification.

Mabel grunted as she sat up, careful not to dislodge Waddles completely. She moved her sunglasses to rest on top of her head so she could get a better look at the screen. Her eyes lit up when she realized Soos had completed his entry in the impromptu snowman contest and eagerly clicked the attachment.

Positioned in front of the icicle-covered Mystery Shack was a life-size sculpture of Melody. The hair was made of strands of hay, packed closely together so that it seemed like it had density to it. A pair of sapphire-coloured plastic gems were used for eyes. A purple jacket hung on its arms and torso and somehow Soos had managed to attach a pair of jeans.

"Wow," said Dipper, eyes wide. "Abuelita was right. Soos is pretty dang good at building snowmen."

"You can't call this a snowman," protested Mabel. "It's a snow sculpture! It's gorgeous!"

"This is definitely going to be hard to beat," said Dipper with a grin.

Wendy Corduroy: Well dang.

Stanford Pines: That has more than just oomph, Soos. Melody must be very proud of this.

Soos Ramirez: Thanks, Mr. Pines! She loved it. But she wishes I would've asked before borrowing her clothes.

Mabel Pines: How did you get the jeans on?

Soos Ramirez: I built the legs first and then had to cut the jeans to fit them on properly. Figured it out after three tries.

Dipper Pines: Uh…does Melody know you ruined her jeans?

Soos Ramirez: Do you think she'll notice?

Stanley Pines: Eh. It's not bad.

Mabel Pines: Are you crazy? It's fantastic!

Wendy Corduroy: Like you can do any better, Mr. Pines.

Stanley Pines: Don't take your bitterness out on me because you so clearly lost. Of course I can do better. Who do you think taught Soos everything he knows?

Stanford Pines: Which probably wasn't very much to begin with.

Stanley Pines: Sure, make fun. I'll be the one laughing when I cream the lot of you.

Dipper Pines: He's got a plan. Those never turn out well.

Mabel Pines: But they're always entertaining!

Soos Ramirez: Good luck Mr. Pines! And Mr. Pines!

Wendy Corduroy: Yeah. This is going to end in disaster—and hilarity.

The voice of her teacher droning in her ears, Mabel's pen scrawled against her paper as she took notes. The shooting star charm of her bracelet clattered softly against the surface of her desk as she moved her wrist back and forth. Heaving a quiet sigh, she shifted her gaze to the clock hanging above the door. There was still an hour before school let out and her brain had already decided to quit for the day.

Mabel paused halfway through her writing of science notes when she felt her cellphone vibrate in her pocket. She peeked over at the teacher, who was facing the chalkboard as he lectured. She positioned her textbook so that it was blocking most of her desk from his sight. She slipped out her cell and held it behind her makeshift barricade, tapping on the e-mail icon.

She grinned widely when she discovered the sender of the e-mail and looked over at her brother, who sat diagonally from her. Dipper gave her a side glance of disapproval, which evaporated when she mouthed 'Grunkle Stan'. His curiosity too great, he did the rare act of taking out his cell in class, tucking his textbook into his lap and keeping the device cloaked behind it.

Stan had sent the e-mail a couple of class periods ago, meaning that they must have missed the initial notification and succeeding ones as their friends commented. The latest remark on Stan's snowman entry finally caught their attention and Mabel could not stop the burst of surprised laughter from escaping.

Turning around, her teacher said sharply, "Do you have something funny to share with the rest of the class, Miss Pines?"

Mabel shook her head, cheeks red not from embarrassment but suppressed mirth. "No sir," she managed to choke out. "Sorry. Just thinking to myself."

Eyes narrowing slightly, he returned to the lesson as their peers gave her odd, sneering looks before going back to their own work, whether it be meticulous notetaking or lazy doodling. Dipper's shoulders were shaking from laughter, his head ducked down as he pretended to focus on the text in their science book. Mabel bit down on her bottom lip and glanced at her phone, staring at the snowman Stan had constructed.

It was a replica of himself made out of snow, wearing his wool beanie, what looked to be grey cloth from a mop making up his hair. Apart from that, the only other article of clothing this Stan snowman was wearing was a speedo. The snowman itself was positioned in the pose of the Thinker. Stan left few details out of his wintry work of art.

Mabel rested her head on the surface of her desk, silent tears of laughter trailing down her cheeks.

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Stanford Pines (Highsixer)

From: Stanley Pines (StantheMan)

Subject: Now THIS is beauty

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Soos making a snow sculpture of Melody is sweet and all, sure. And let's not even get to Wendy's mundane attempt. I present to you the greatest snowman (and snow sculpture) ever created. Bask in his glory.

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Wendy Corduroy: Oh. My. Gosh.

Soos Ramirez: Wow. It's a great likeness!

Wendy Corduroy: No. Do not support him with this one. He's a lunatic.

Stanford Pines: I promise you I had no idea what he was up to. If I had the slightest inkling, I would have knocked him out.

Stanley Pines: What's wrong with him?

Stanford Pines: IT, Stanley. A snowman is an 'it'.

Stanley Pines: Then why do they call them snowmen?

Wendy Corduroy: We're not getting off-topic this time. Why, for the love of everything, did you build a snowman of yourself without a shirt, pants, and too-small underwear?

Stanley Pines: It's artistic! Like those life painting classes or whatever. Besides, there's no greater beauty than myself.

Soos Ramirez: It's really detailed.

Wendy Corduroy: Way too detailed. And I've seen this guy in his boxers multiple times. I've seen Soos in his underwear for crying out loud. But this is way more traumatizing.

Stanley Pines: Keep on talking. I've spent my life dealing with jealousy. It just rolls of my shoulders now.

Wendy Corduroy: You are so full of it.

Stanford Pines: Right. I'm off to destroy it.

Stanley Pines: DON'T YOU DARE.

Dipper Pines: I can't believe we're related.

Mabel Pines: No offense, Grunkle Stan, but the only bathing suit I ever wanted to see you in was your old man one-piece.

Soos Ramirez: I didn't know he owned a speedo.

Wendy Corduroy: Now we all know, unfortunately.

Dipper Pines: I thought I was traumatized before. I was wrong. My consolation is that at least it's just a snow-version of him.

Soos Ramirez: It's a good ice model, though.

Wendy Corduroy: If you can look past all of…that, then I guess that it's okay. Explains where Mabel gets her artistic skills, in any case. But seriously, when did this snowman contest become an intricately-carved snow/ice sculpture contest?

Dipper Pines: Well, Soos took it up to the next level, and I think Grunkle Stan would have done this regardless. Wished you hadn't started this whole thing now?

Wendy Corduroy: Nah. I still think my snowman is the best. It's a twist on a classic.

Soos Ramirez: I think mine is the best. But that's just me, dude.

Mabel Pines: Yours is really good. But Grunkle Stan added moles to his snowman.

Wendy Corduroy: What? Like the mole he has on—?

Wendy Corduroy: OH MY GOSH HE DID HE MANAGED TO INCLUDE THE MOLE!

Dipper Pines: Mabel stop laughing! You're going to get us in trouble!

Dipper Pines: Too late.

Mabel Pines: Delete all evidence! Teacher incoming!

To: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Stanley Pines (StantheMan); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude)

From: Stanford Pines (Highsixer)

Subject: The original snowman

1 Attachment (Photo File)

Wendy's snowman was certainly a childhood classic, and Soos' was a touching tribute to his girlfriend, I have crafted the original snowman. It is a replica of the creature that roams mountains, causing mysterious disappearances of hikers and skiers. Its existence dates long before the discovery of the recreational activity of building figures out of snow.

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Stanley Pines: You didn't mention my snowman.

Stanford Pines: Obviously.

Stanley Pines: Hmph. At least I know how to have fun without turning everything into some boring lesson. Seriously, the abominable snowman?

Dipper Pines: Called it. Very good choice, by the way.

Mabel Pines: You made it really tall!

Stanford Pines: Yes, I tried to make it as life-like as possible. It was difficult using a ladder in this icy climate.

Stanley Pines: He fell off of it at least three times. You should see the black eye he got.

Wendy Corduroy: Wow. Is that actual hair you used?

Stanford Pines: You'd be surprised by how much llama hair is shed.

Wendy Corduroy: I'd ask where you are but it would probably be best if I didn't know.

Soos Ramirez: Dude. That's pretty scary.

Dipper Pines: It is pretty realistic. Have you ever seen the abominable snowman, Grunkle Ford?

Stanford Pines: Not yet, but I hope to encounter it soon. However, I've done quite a bit of research and come to the conclusion that this is an accurate representation.

Mabel Pines: You guys are really great when it comes to snowman.

Wendy Corduroy: I could argue with that, but I won't. So which one of us wins?

Stanley Pines: Isn't it obvious?

Mabel Pines: How about we take a vote?

Dipper Pines: Where you have to vote for someone else. You can't vote for yourself.

Wendy Corduroy: I guess that works.

Soos Ramirez: I'm in. But do I have to vote now? This is kinda a tough decision.

Stanford Pines: We can cast our votes tomorrow morning at ten o'clock.

Wendy Corduroy: Our time zone or yours? Wherever you are.

Stanford Pines: Yours.

Stanley Pines: Deal.

Dipper Pines: Then we'll find out the winner tomorrow.

Mabel Pines: May the best snow creation win!

Dipper shook his head in amusement as he set his phone on the coffee table situated in front of the couch. "I have a feeling it might be between Soos and Grunkle Ford. Those two took it up a notch."

"I love Grunkle Stan, but I don't think anyone is going to be able to get rid of that mental image," said Mabel with a giggle.

She studied the picture of Ford's snowman, a towering mass of snow carved in the shape of the yeti. Llama hair covered every inch of the creature, black coals acting as eyes, peering ominously from a curtain of white hair. Icicles hung from the armpits and arms, the hands and feet massive in order to be in proportion to the body.

"It's not fair," she lamented, getting to her knees so she could look over the edge of the couch through the living room window. "They can play in the snow and we just got a rainstorm last night."

"It's a mud wonderland," agreed Dipper. Their entire front yard was damp and soft, the grass nearly swallowed by the thick brown mud. "Too bad there's no such thing as a mudman."

There was a pause as the twins were struck by the same idea. With a beaming smile, Mabel jumped to the floor and declared, "Let's go, brother of mine!"

"We'll make the greatest mudmen in history!" cheered Dipper.

They spared a moment to shrug on their boots and rain slickers before charging out into the misty afternoon. It took a half hour to decide what they should craft and they soon got to work. They gathered piles of mud with shovels and packed it together with their bare hands. For two hours they sloshed about in the mud, hair sticking to their foreheads and boots caking with dirt and grass.

"There!" exclaimed Mabel, wiping droplets of water from her skin and leaving a streak of mud. "It's brilliant!"

Dipper removed his phone from his pants pocket and snapped a picture of the scene. There were seven mud figures rising from the ground, and though they weren't perfect they were identifiable. There was Wendy with her ushanka, which Dipper had removed from his head temporarily, Ford with a long beige jacket, which Mabel had dug from their father's closet, Stan with his tuxedo jacket, tie and eyepatch that Dipper found from their old Halloween costumes, Soos with his green T-shirt and a question mark drawn on it, Waddles in the middle, and on either side of the mud-pig were sculptures of Dipper and Mabel. Dipper had found one of his old hats and vests to use on his mud counterpart, and Mabel had managed to affix a knit jacket and sparkly headband to hers.

"Who says we need snow to have fun?" laughed Dipper. He then looked around the yard, which now bore holes and dips from their effort to gather as much mud as possible. "Uh…as great as this is, we better put the mud back before Mom and Dad come home to find the yard torn up."

To: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick)

From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)

Subject: Mud Shack crew

1 Attachment (Photo File)

It's almost time to vote! But before the inevitable fight begins about who deserves to win, Mabel and I make our unofficial contribution with our mudmen. I present the Mud Shack crew, complete with a mud version of Waddles. We may not have snow, but we learn to work with what we have.

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Soos Ramirez: Mud looks pretty good on me.

Wendy Corduroy: Dudes. That's pretty sweet. But yo, you're gonna wash my hat, right?

Dipper Pines: Maybe.

Grunkle Ford: I don't think I've seen soil used in such a way before.

Grunkle Stan: Talk about making the most of your environment.

Mabel Pines: I'm going to have mud in my ears for weeks, but it was worth it!

Grunkle Ford: How exactly did you manage to get mud in your ears?

Mabel Pines: I slipped and fell. A few dozen times.

Dipper Pines: We are hopelessly snowless, so we found our own way to contribute to the contest—just for fun, anyway. Are you guys ready to vote?

Wendy Corduroy: Yup.

Soos Ramirez: Totally.

Grunkle Stan: Let's start it, then.

Grunkle Ford: Why don't you kids start?

Dipper Pines: Sure. I vote for Wendy. Her snowman may not be extravagant, but it's a classic snowman, which I think was sort of the point before Soos took it to the next level.

Mabel Pines: And that's why I'm voting for Soos! His snow sculpture of Melody was really sweet and pretty, and I like that he took a different route.

Wendy Corduroy: I vote for Dipper and Mabel, because I look pretty rad as a mud sculpture.

Dipper Pines: Wait, what?

Soos Ramirez: I vote for the little dudes. It was hard making a snow sculpture, so it must have been twice as hard to make what they did.

Mabel Pines: But this is a snowman contest. We didn't make ours out of snow.

Grunkle Stan: Who listens to the rules? Not me. You get my vote, kiddos. I think I look even better made out of mud.

Grunkle Ford: It's settled, then. Including my vote, that makes you the clear winners. Substituting mud for snow is allowed, since there is a lack of snow available to you and you used alternative resources.

Grunkle Stan: But next time we have a contest you can't participate so that I get a shot at participating.

Soos Ramirez: Next year we could have a snow fort building contest!

Wendy Corduroy: I don't think so. I thought I was competitive but ya'll take it to the extreme.

Grunkle Ford: Runs in the family.

Grunkle Stan: I'll annihilate you next time.

Mabel Pines: Sweet! We won, bro! We're champions of mudmen!

Dipper Pines: Not bad for the tender age of thirteen.