#Well‚ that depends very heavily on the thrall in question.

[not-a-space-alien]

How much blood do vampires drink in a sitting?

Great question! I don't want to commit to this for sure in case I need to fudge the numbers later for whatever reason, but I'm currently imagining it as being the same amount taken out for a whole blood donation, which is about 500mL or 1 pint. This is significantly more than they drink daily in @whumpsday's worldbuilding.

Of course, how much blood a human can loose regularly without ill health effects depends very heavily on their height, weight, and other factors, and how much blood a vampire is going to need to drink is going to vary the same way how much food a human needs to eat is going to vary. "2,000 calories is general guidelines" is right since for petite people with estrogen-based endocrine systems and sedentary lifestyle, their TDEE can be as low as 1200 calories, whereas larger, higher metabolism humans might need as high as 3000 calories per day or more for basal metabolism. I imagine vampires have significant diversity in their needs in a similar way. So 500mL might be the "2,000 calories" of vampire diet.

Then there's the question of whether a vampire prefers to take their daily blood all in one sitting or to sip it in increments, I imagine the norm is all in one sitting but it can vary based on personal preference.

Unfortunately for the humans that provide said blood meals, vampires' concern for their well-being usually only extends as far as they want to keep their thralls alive as long as possible to avoid having to replace them, so if it's a particularly careless and gluttonous vampire, it might be more. A vampire could kill a human by taking too much blood (either at once or over time) completely on accident.

[libidomechanica]

And smote himselfe in

Before Salámán listen; and,     once come to know the sparrow in the bitter wind where its     wrecks like to this, all honor’s mimic, all wealth, the name! At     least begin revision fleeting, and Lilia first: the     whole field; and thou break, to

let base clouds o’ertake me trembled     in the whole empress something made head, his scull will prop it     under cloud cover, dry where you once again; loves and the     temple, saying, now a twisted, crisp’d, and mire, scheming     imagined more fit; I

do confess? Once I did I never     seems the luver’s finger- tips: her kind of shame. While the     old snows; suppose that won you to dissemble, without pause!     In lovely Nature’s sharpest pangs o’erflow’d with this strange the     whirl was wont with slaughters

of late: suppose, but, in good faith,     some boy would tell of a Celestial Beauty, or the wicket;     babies, as ugly as a winter’s dart. With thee! The     superior, in a stranger and taxing,—how, I say,     There is no one toil for

breath is dead. She could not Life be     equally contained, flaming harme did not his eyes that ground     of all, the happy as well as mine importune this killing     sun smiles. And smote himselfe in thy peculiar Eye—and     least part of my love, aside

to harvest. Juan much bigger     than the sweet heaven’s limbs: there and hours in me, till all from     love’s picture then tell me there the crystal moon, the simmer     moon; not thou ever seems to dependent on whether young     green access out of, and

winged reeds, and one discussed his despair!     Me—me, the sword of all her then, as in a fair and     view, are loth to mount, and mark the sepulchre, She remembering     flowers gather’d’ as subject bound on either to spin it     into flakes of short-number’d

lay, of beechen green, a page     or two from year to me: forsaken and malformation     If you ain’t watch’d the smiles. The little flower, and at her     Harmony. Were none but these—what kind of love of one day     see both love, sustaining

sleep. Tell me not for such one day:     they’re given as Gods, be wise. Yet dripping with loves me again     I never yet was his manner flung roses damask’d,     red and fears annulling sun I find the trees. That is for     thee, my Philly? The chief

art in high and build far off, with     your mother to make thou, cried Urania; in such melodious     passion willed, freedom a drug that’s bought with rhyme, to     war and the wounds with the seasonable month endows the     great outdoors we heard the

meadow, and quarter ere his face     I say, There is not so the honey. Naked of reasons     gone, where dwell the Wolf, not for all these musks, the eyes, least in     the least post-horses baiting— now pondering him. Her eyebrows     of honest eyes can

your gate a slice or two. Past the     all-cloudless glory they expire! Till pudding name! But therein     she cried: The devil laughed some yet live, in love with fur     in a ring, cold doth live, treading its orbit, each heavily     he answer’d not, but

of thy days, making up again.     Learn to speechless light glares and scar’d the Soul in Strife! Questions     we now entertain of any other have I yet the     Past, his fair and fair your bones supersede loveliness,     and I unremark’d the

summer eves. Many have you all?     Make thee on a bank and deer, his owne children cry, they’re not     any. Is its knell; he, as light on himself near, that very     love the sight so long as you adore. Will fly to thine     happier they most dear;

but blythe’s the crowd, the laws of     every land! And winding sickle’s coming him to his Heart;     another die. I wish not that, amassing flood; thrall, or     at the wardrobe which few men’s days dragged slow and fear much good     people is too depend:

and I, betwixt mine eyes? There is     not, to put fair that grace, his God-knows-what: for after thee,     and greed, I find the lover’s care, with spites; yet well he     did discretion lacke, beeing made the wintry rage of a harsh     terror and clos’d me in

pearl. From thy pure brought in? My glass     shalt find it merit do I in myself refuses burden     may resume; and on my tatter’d by her lover     and armour to seek: were both of us walk out together.     Let thicker than I.

[outofangband]

The Hierarchies and Organizational Systems of Angband Residents

Complex trauma after torture and Angband world building masterlist

Residents is used for lack of a better word. This includes everyone from Melkor to the slaves. 

First disclaimer: this uses as much canon information as possible but does make extrapolations and additions when necessary! 

Second Disclaimer: so this is something I’ve referenced and in many other pieces. I’m going to try to not link every other relevant post on this because there’s a lot and that would be probably annoying but I’ll link my masterlist and a few especially important pieces as I go! let me know if you have any questions or you need help finding anything! 

(though in some cases like with the branding/marking headcanons there were too many examples I could have given so I just went with the most recent one)  

Angband has many hierarchies. First and foremost there is the hierarchy imposed by Sauron but this is not the only one and both the soldiers and servants and slaves create and maintain their own. These can be both a protection and a further division. 

Note: there is not always a clear distinction between “servants” and “slaves”; for example the orcs do not have a real choice in whether they serve Morgoth. I’m using these terms for convenience's sake with “servants” referring to anyone who’s not Melkor and not an elf or human and I’ll specify more when needed!

(I also go into the various trajectories of captured elves referenced in other posts throughout this one)

And finally I go (even more) into the stigma both certain captives within the fortress face as well as (even more) about the mistrust former thralls are treated with by the free elves. I know, I know. But these are some of my favorite topics. 

(warning for mentions of branding/marking, dehumanization, slavery, death. Nothing graphic but this is Angband) 

Angband World Building Post 

The most basic hierarchy in Angband is this: There is Melkor, there are a very small group of his advisors and the top generals (this would basically be Sauron, Gothmog, Thuringwethil depending on interpretations of her level of power over the other vampires, and maybe one or two more), there is a larger but still relatively small group of lesser Maiar who serve him and who are often assistants and servants to the first group of advisors and top generals, but who do not hold positions of great power, there are the orcs who have their own hierarchy* and then there are the captives and slaves who yet again have a complex culture complete with ranking systems both imposed by their captors and created among themselves. 

There are many smaller hierarchies within the larger ones. 

Sauron oversees several Maiar who in turn oversee their own groups, some of which contain orcs and elves as well. 

Angband has, for lack of a better word, a rather extensive research and development wing.  Some sub sections include the creation of dragons and living weapons and entities, breeding and cultivation of existing creatures and organic material, non living weapons and materials, and more. They rely also on fodder and manual labor from the lower ranks of orcs and of the captive elven prisoners. Information about the nature of their various projects and experiments is heavily guarded and 

Morgoth himself was more highly involved in the dragons (I have a number of ideas as to how this came about, all horrible of course) But basically there are Maiar who serve Sauron who will often pick and choose elves from elsewhere in the fortress to serve them in their endeavours. I have another post about how elves are chosen for specialized work like this, it’s a position that comes with a multitude of benefits and significant disadvantages. 

I will go into more detail on the orcs’ hierarchies later if there is a desire (edit: I did here!) but, there are two main categories; military and non military. The military of course has yet another hierarchy of its own with the very top captains and generals having about the same level of privilege and, when they’re in the fortress, authority as the lesser Maiar servants, there are lots of commanders, and there there are the soldiers. 

Some of the commanders and generals will become or are also guards and overseers of the prisoners, a desired role for many of them as it is both less dangerous and well, if you’re cruel, much more fun. 

Then there is the second population of orcs who are not necessarily used for battle! I talk about this a bit in the intro to this piece but these are basically used for menial labor, sometimes even working alongside the elven slaves. There are some who have more skilled roles however, often even being taught by captured prisoners. Sauron does try to have his assistants keep track of who new captives are and what they have done prior. The maintaining of a fortress like that would NEED a lot of skilled labor that you wouldn’t necessarily be able to find among orcs who have lived their whole lives there. 

Trajectories/Organization of enslaved elves and the Branding/Marking System: 

The mines are the default for captives who are taken on raids, in battle, in large numbers, etc. If there isn’t a designated spot for them or they don’t have the qualities Sauron wants for his experiments or training/they don’t have the skills that would land them in a different category, the mines are usually where they’ll end up. I talk about the culture in the mines in other posts but all in all it’s miserable. 

The forges and mines contain the highest volume of elven slaves. The work in the mines is probably pretty self explanatory, in the forges elves mainly do repetitive castings of weapons, cleaning supplies, etc.  There are a few who end up with more complicated work but most do fairly basic (though dangerous!) work for the Maiar that Sauron has at his command there. 

More traditional servant roles in cleaning surfaces/sweeping/repairing clothes and fabrics, caring for non dangerous equipment, certain types of creature care (gone into detail here) caring for the few children in the fortress who are kept alive (I go into why this is in the world building post linked at the top) are generally seen as a reward so they are usually given to slaves who have “earned”. This is yet another way elves can be made to turn against each other and though most slaves want to be chosen for this role, there is a great deal of open animosity towards those who have been chosen for it who are seen as faring better than the others, of being more obedient and docile to the enemy, even viewed as traitors. Of course, it should go without saying that the elves who are chosen for this do not actually fare significantly better though their suffering might take different forms. They are more isolated, exposed rather than being part of large groups, they also have more interaction with the higher ups of the fortress and are far more likely to be singled out for abuse by one of them or even taken on as well, as something like a pet. 

Those who are taken on for this “role” are heavily stigmatized. Their suffering is claimed to be heavily mitigated. It is said they are indolent and selfish and their lives are of relative comfort. No one would take their place. 

It should be noted that work in the kitchens (again gone into detail in the world building post linked at the top) does not fall under the “more traditional servant work” and the conditions there are probably just as bad as in the mines. Even if the tasks are possibly easier they’re no more comfortable. (Though there is a smaller group that’s used to prepare meals for some of the higher ups and that does fall under the “more traditional servant work” group. 

There is a lot of these internal stigmas and divides among the prisoners, many of these are either explicitly started by Sauron or at the very least encouraged to develop.  (this is of course another topic I go into way too often but well, I like to. feel free to ask more about it too!)

The role of elven healers is another thing entirely and I have a post about that here! And another post about them here!

Branding/marking system: Most recent overview is at the bottom of here though as I said before there were so many examples. I do headcanon there’s a complicated system where (almost, see exceptions below) all prisoners are given a version of Sauron’s symbol of the eye (I’ve mentioned this in other places too, see Sauron’s tag, Subtle be my blade) (Melkor allows this because he sees it as like, a trademark? Rather than as meaning that the prisoners are first and foremost Sauron’s. As long as they are in the fortress it is understood that they are Melkor’s property. And Sauron is of course His too)

They are also given another mark that vaguely resembles Thangorodrim but is in fact a rune by Morgoth’s own invention

Exceptions to this are Captives who are to be killed* within a month, are likely to be used for lethal entertainment for soldiers and guards, are to be…transformed, are fodder or food for various creatures ( I headcanon that certain elves are just let loose in the caves for for the creatures that live there to hunt or who are sometimes fed to dragons, etc) or who are otherwise disposable are not branded but rather given a carved mark or even one in ink.  A more rare exception is Maeglin who I talk about at the bottom. Examples like him are one reason why captives aren’t immediately given a permanent mark. You never know when you might need to send back a more subtle sleeper agent...

*this refers here to executions which is rarely a fate to befall elven captives in a place where death is a mercy but occasionally do occur usually when there’s a desire to send a message back to the free elves (usually with an accompanying proof of death) though of course as we see in Gelmir’s case in canon sometimes these executions happen directly in front of the elves too 

, elven slaves are not infrequently used to birth more thralls through various methods, some traditional births others more entwined with dark magic

 For those who will not be killed within the month, there will also be a second marking indicating whether they are a slave used for labor (and there is some variation depending on labor where) of interest to Sauron for his experiments or his own little group of pet projects for training and entertainment, and thus not to be killed/moved/etc without leave), are being interrogated (and thus not to cause damage that would make this impossible) or are for the entertainment of someone specific (or occasionally for a small group) 

more information on Sauron’s elves here and here 

How much damage can be done to various captives also has its own organizational system with many categories from “you can do literally anything you want up to and including death” to “bruising this prisoner without permission will probably get you killed by the higher up who has an interest in them” with plenty of categories in between! 

these indicators are sometimes markings on the skin, sometimes on the collars that some prisoners where 

There is some variety based on who is in charge of the section of the fortress a prisoner is held in (for example balrog overseer in the mines #3 might be more strict about injuries to their slaves’ legs and so might insist on punishments in other forms) but these things aren’t an official rule. 

 Here are some examples of the designation markings various canon captives would receive: 

Maeglin is not branded because this would obviously give away that he had been a captive which Melkor didn’t want. He would have been given a temporary indicator that he was of importance to the Dark Lord(s) and so not to be killed or maimed or given any serious injuries. 

I should note that while it is relatively common, we know in canon, for Melkor to release thralls who have undergone unknown forms of brainwashing, enchantment, for all we know they’re already dead and under the control of a necromancer, back to their people to do his bidding which plays not a small part in the stigma and mistrust that any former prisoners face, Maeglin is unique in that no one was ever supposed to know that he had been in Angband at all. 

Gwindor is given the “basic” brand and has another one indicating that he “belongs” in the mines. After his escape this ends up being a blessing as by this point the elven peoples have enough information to know that those in the mines rarely have contact with Melkor or Sauron themselves and are used “only” for forced labor. 

Rog: Similar to Gwindor though he ends up with an added mark because his wealth of knowledge in various relevant areas means that he is of somewhat more importance to various projects than the average slave in the mines. He also is aggressive and defiant and so is marked accordingly for that. 

Whether or not this information is correct is another matter but that is the general belief. slaves who escape from the mines are seen probably as the least complicated former prisoners. They were usually captured by bad luck, had no contact with the higher ups, and were subjected to brutal forced labor and punishments when they didn’t do this well enough. Of course other prisoners are still sympathized with but they are faced with much more stigma and mistrust.  this doesn’t mean that transition back is easy for them of course and they’re still under more scrutiny than non prisoners and for one example, Gwindor finds himself “unfit” to marry (CoH)  but they’re less likely to be seen as automatically agents of the enemy, etc. 

Húrin is given the “basic” brand, another to indicate that he is being interrogated and so like, not to rip his lungs out or cause too much brain damage or cause injuries that would take too much time to recover from (this is before he was put in the chair), and a few other brands that were part of his torture/punishment 

Maedhros I’ve written about like fifty million times but when has that ever stopped me! He’s given the “basic” brand, he’s marked for being under interrogation (even though he wasn’t specifically being interrogated this category also covers other political prisoners and those Morgoth and Sauron don’t want too badly hurt because it would ruin the chance for them to do the too badly hurting themselves)  He’s later marked with more than one of Morgoth’s own symbols, one of only a few captives to get this ‘honor’. Húrin gets these too both as punishment and to worsen his chances of ever living normally after his release. in Maedhros’s case these also serve those purposes, not that Maedhros was expected to live among free elves again of course but even among the elves in the fortress, being marked as “belonging” to one of the higher ups automatically gets you labeled a bunch of not very nice things and viewed with suspicion and mistrust. some of this is for self preservation, the “pets” of the higher ups are sometimes those who are conditioned into being more docile and obedient and wanting to please their captors and thus would be more likely to say, betray any information of a planned rebellion. Then of course he has a few ‘decorative’ brands as well. 

Like Rog Maedhros is marked as having killed his guards before. 

A lot of the stigma within the fortress is also fear of the unknown, both instinctual and encouraged by the Dark Lords. Basically if you’re a slave in one part of the fortress you Do Not Trust those in the other parts especially if their role is more ambiguous (like the “personal” slaves of the higher ups rather than being used for labor) 

Continuances Part Two: The Mines of Angband 

Continuances Part Three: The Kitchens of Angband

Continuation Part Four: The Forges of Angband

Anyways I’m sorry for how long this got but it includes like all my favorite topics (Angband world building, general dark stuff, stigma former thralls are faced with, etc) 

Please feel free to ask any questions or send prompts about any of this! 

[leannan-sithe]

Godspousing Terms

This is a suggested list of godspousing terms that have been developed and loosely defined by our 50+ person private discord. We find them helpful to make distinctions, so hopefully you do too!

Basic Compound Terms

I propose godspouse be used as a generic umbrella term for any non-platonic relationship with an entity that is not in our world / on this plane, or however you wanna describe it.

godspouse, god-spouse, god spouse are all the same term, but I find godspouse more distinct about the type of relationship happening (and, it is easier to use on places like tumblr, where the split god spouse shows up when you search god or spouse now)

This word structure can be used for any number of words, primarily god- and spirit- added to terms like -spouse, -partner, -consort, -family, -mate.

The first word can also be: fae-, hero-, angel-, demon-, or other-. Otherspouse is commonly used as a neutral pronoun when in mixed company, i.e. when addressing a group of godspouses and spiritspouses, "Who are your Otherspouses?"

Concept of Courting

What is courting? To new folks, it sounds formal and intimidating. In short, it's a term for dating or pursuing a romantic / non-platonic relationship. Depending on your Otherpartner, courting can be informal and casual or formal and structured.

Some entities have their own political or cultural norms, and they may require structured courting. To give vague examples, this could be like going on dates for a set time before calling the relationship 'serious' or like going through a set of rituals in your pantheon of choice before you can date the partner.

Each entity has their own courting requirements, much like people. Be sure to discuss this with them! Dating can lead to marriage or other vows, so it's worth having open, clear communication.

List of Flexible Terms

-spouse

Can be generic or can imply some form of marital status.

-partner

For relationships that are more than 'dating' but do not include marriage; often used in partnerships that emphasize equality between the human and otherpartner.

-family

Not strictly a godspousing term, but useful in-context; used for relationships with entities that are familial, i.e. this god is my godfamily because they are my brother.

-consort

Although it can be a boyfriend/girlfriend equivalent, this term is more frequently used for relationships where the consort status (unmarried, still courting) of the human partner is important to the otherpartner; Consort IRL was used as a name for romantic partners of royalty who would not carry on hereditary royalty or political power; for some entities, this distinction is important as these entities have lives of their own and may hold power.

-mate

Less commonly used, but seems to imply an intimate relationship with trust that doesn't require definition by marriage or other agreements; IMO, the vibe is informed by the concept of 'mating for life' heavily, in that animals don't need formal documentation, they just are together.

Godowned and Godservant

These relationships are structured around Ownership or servitude, in a similar way that nuns commit to the Christian God.

Godowned has many expressions, but in short: the human has agreed to be owned by the otherpartner, for any variety of reasons. Ownership is not necessarily a Master / sl*ve relationship, although that is one expression of it.

Godowned example:

Because I am Theirs, Deity has committed to taking care of my emotional and mental well-being, to the point of bothering me when I need to take medication or when I need to step back and take time to myself. I submit to the nudges when they are given, as I've agreed to this dynamic and it's helpful for me to have someone give me instructions.

Godservant can be similar if not identical to Godowned, although it implies more of a servant relationship with the deity in question, not always ownership. This relationship dynamic is often very formal and includes vows and explicit expectations from the human and the otherpartner involved.

The servant concept is often expressed through acts of devotion, like learning a new language as a devotional act to the deity or doing research about the deity's pantheon etc.

Although not required, this dynamic is frequently expressed by being a Devotee/Devoted/Dedicant of [DeityName]. There is a formal declaration that you are dedicated to this particular Deity, which is often used as your public identifier (ex. Hi, I'm Rook a Devotee of Fairge, not Hi, I'm Rook, a pagan.)

The term Godsl*ve is also available for use! I am censoring it here solely to avoid the term coming up when sl*ve is searched on Tumblr. There is no judgement that I'm trying to imply.

Godsl*ve can be all of the above, but is clearly much more explicit about who wears the pants and who does not wear the pants in this relationship. This dynamic tends to have Dom/sub components and often is very structured with rules and requirements to be performed by the human involved.

Alternative Terms

As to not muddle the water more than I have already, here is a list of other terms folks use but are either less common or not generic enough to be included.

-thrall, -bride, -groom, -nun, -sworn, -lover, -f*cker

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[christiewryte]

World of Warcraft: Shadowlands spoilers ahead.

Alright so sorry but I just gotta rant right now, because I got to the point last night of having to make my Covenant choice and I just

can’t.

For two reasons. One, because I really only give half a shit about any of the factions, so I’m really not chomping at the bit to swear my soul to any of them. And two, because it’s such a stupid fucking asspull that I have to choose one at all.

Literally the only explanation given for why I’m choosing a single Covenant to dedicate myself to is so that I don’t “spread myself too thin.” But that’s obvious fucking horseshit, because by this point I’ve already quested through between 50-90% of the physical landmass of each Covenant’s zone depending on which, and resolved a shit ton of problems that they’d all been struggling with since before I ever arrived. I fast tracked through years’ worth of the Kyrian ascension process in a matter of hours, became the chosen of the Necrolords’ Primus, delivered Ysera to rebirth, and rebuilt the shattered Venthyr rebellion and exposed the Master’s betrayal of the pantheon, and run multiple errands to the supposedly inescapable Maw in the process. The idea that I’ll be “spread too thin” is obvious nonsense even before getting into the fact that I’ve never had a problem saving more factions than these measly four all at the same time in past expansions, and made only even more bullshit by the fact that this restriction means I can only complete the storylines of each of these zones that I’m supposedly invested in by playing four different characters at endgame. This bullshit excuse that I’ll be “spread too thin” actually does the exact fucking opposite and makes me spread myself thin if I want to finish all the storylines.

So let’s talk about those storylines, and why I don’t care enough about any of them to have a strong opinion on which to join.

First off, the big problem: the entire premise of Shadowlands is that this is the literal Warcraft afterlife. The Shadowlands are where mortal souls go when they die, and transition to their eternal existence as part of the Shadowlands.

So why doesn’t it feel like it?

Let’s start with the most egregious example in the Night Fae of Ardenweald. Each Covenant and its zone represents a different afterlife tailored to the needs of different lives. The Kyrian of Bastion take souls that dedicated their lives to duty. The Necrolords of Maldraxxus take souls that craved battle. The Venthyr of Revendreath take wicked souls that need redemption, while those that are beyond redemption are thrown into the Maw. And the Night Fae of Ardenweald take

uh

They never actually talk about why mortal souls end up in Ardenweald, or what they do there. The entire pre-Choice story is about the souls of nature gods being reborn. I think I did maybe half a dozen quests that had me interact with mortal souls in the entire zone, they were all in the first chapter, and the only thing they revealed about the relationship between mortal souls and Ardenweald is that mortal souls take cute animal forms there.

So there we have the five afterlives, encompassing all five kinds of mortals:

Dutiful

Bloodthirsty

Evil

Super Evil

Immortal Nature Gods

This lack of development is hardly unique to Ardenweald, though. While we at least get the basic idea behind what kind of souls end up in each afterlife, it’s largely to totally inconsequential to any of the stories going on, all of which are focused entirely on people we’ve never met before, have nothing to say about their past lives, or both. The Necrolords actually come out best in this regard, as the familiar faces of Draka, Lady Vashj, and Alexandros Mograine all show up throughout the pre-Choice quest experience, but with the exception of Vashj passive-aggressively sniping at you a few times about being part of the raid group that killed her, none of them ever talk about their mortal lives. This is especially galling in the case of Mograine, who we rescue from the Maw with the assistance of his undead son, who gave his life to save his father’s soul from damnation, and clearly has things to say to him, but Alexandros just brushes him off with, “We’ll talk later,” and rushes back off to Maldraxxus to have one inconclusive fight with a traitor before the pre-Choice storyline is over and you’re shuffled off to Ardenweald.

Otherwise, Ardenweald gives us the Ysera’s rebirth as the capstone to its pre-Choice questing and an expy of Ursoc (which is extra ironic as they made an entire cutscene about the Night Fae letting Ursoc’s soul die), Revendreath gives us a few quests where we torment the soul of an inconsequential boss from the MoP reincarnation of a Vanilla dungeon and one instance where a recurring character confronts a moment from their mortal life (and then immediately brushes it aside), and Bastion gives us Uther in an antagonistic role. This last one is at least conceptually interesting as it engages with the nature of how mortal souls are treated in Bastion (they have to give up their memories of their mortal lives as part of the ascension process to become Kyrians), but falls flat because Uther’s involvement never amounts to more than a couple cameos where you don’t engage him in any way whatsoever, and the last time he comes up is to establish that he doesn’t know about the obviously evil shit the rest of the anti-memory wiping side is up to.

This is a massive waste of setting the expansion’s story in the afterlife. The easiest trick they could have used to make us invested in the Covenants and understand what they’re each about would have been populating the pre-Choice storylines heavily with known characters. This would have given us emotional connection to the various Covenants through the pre-existing emotional connections to those characters, and helped us understand who belongs in each afterlife and what it has to offer to mortal souls through our pre-existing understanding of those characters. The only reason the Necrolords are even in the running for my Covenant choice is that my main character is a female orc from the Frostwolf clan who was inspired to become a shaman by Thrall’s example, so serving alongside his mother would make a lot of sense for her. Hell, if Draka was a soulbind option (and oh boy, are we gonna come back to soulbinds), I’d probably go Necrolords despite Maldraxxus easily being the zone I want to look at the least.

Other than these few returning faces, everyone that we meet in the afterlife pre-Choice is someone completely new, and none but the Accuser and not!Ursoc offer even the briefest glimpse of their mortal lives. For that matter, it’s very unclear which denizens of the Shadowlands are mortal souls, and which are native creatures. It is explicitly spelled out that mortal souls ascend to be Kyrians in Bastion and souls that find redemption in Revendreath can become Venthyr, but what the hell is going on in Maldraxxus where everyone seems to be transformed into one of a limited number of forms specific to the realm, except for Draka, Vashj, and Alexandros, who all retain their mortal forms? Mortal souls barely seem to exist at all in Ardenweald. Do they eventually become the various fae creatures that populate the zone, or is Ardenweald really so oriented entirely toward the rebirth of nature spirits that there are only about a dozen mortal souls in the entire place?

And the big question that doesn’t ever seem to be addressed: what happens to souls that die in the Shadowlands? Do they just come back and restart their afterlives? Is there an after-afterlife they go to? Or are they uberdead, erased from existence? If it’s the former, why do any of the people here get upset about someone else dying? If it’s that last one, you’d think a lot of the Shadowlands’ denizens would be a lot more hesitant to engage in deadly combat. If nothing else Maldraxxus, where you’re welcomed to the afterlife by having to be the last soul standing in a giant battle to the death, would be kind of a shit reward for a life lived according to the place’s ideals. But nothing; everyone’s attitude toward dying in the Shadowlands is exactly the same as the attitude toward dying expressed by anyone in any of the living realms we’ve battled through over the years.

Combine the unfamiliar faces with never addressing what dying after death means, then throw in bog standard quests about harvesting lumber or controlling the local animal population, and the Shadowlands really doesn’t feel like an afterlife. It’s just another new set of zones that brings up death conceptually more often than usual in the course of sending us out to make it happen nonconceptually. Maldraxxus and Ardenweald in particular are basically indistinguishable from any Scourge- or night elf-heavy zone from previous content, respectively.

Well, what about themes and aesthetics? Well, aesthetically the Kyrians are all about that Holy Light, the Necrolords and Venthyr are two different flavors of undeath, and the Night Fae are just another in WoW’s proud tradition of nature = druid = night elf (ffs they couldn’t even be bothered to name them something else). As an orc shaman, none of those fit me. Night Fae is probably the closest, but even that’s screaming “DRUID” so loudly and exclusively that I don’t feel right there. Honestly, how hard would it have been to toss in one of the troll loas or some elementals somewhere in that zone?

Thematically, the Kyrians are about duty, which sounds appropriate for my character, except for the whole, “sacrifice your identity,” thing. The Necrolords are all about might making right, which is the toxic orcish attitude my character has always tried to lead her people away from, even before taking into account that “might” in this definition appears to include might borrowed from a bottle, built out of other people and made to do your fighting for you, and assassinations, to go by the Five Houses of Maldraxxus. I cannot stress enough just how badly the Night Fae failed to explain why anyone who isn’t a druid or at least a night elf belongs in Ardenweald, and while the Venthyrs’ redemption shtick fits my character’s desire to lead the orcs onto a better path, their preferred method is years upon years of torture, which seems a little hypocritical.

So what’s left? Pre-Choice questing has done a shit job of actually connecting me to any of these places, so... I guess I should decide based on the characters? The interface for choosing your Covenant identifies your three possible soulbinds for each choice, and... wait, what the fuck are soulbinds?

No, seriously, this comes all but entirely out of nowhere. Soulbinds are mentioned only a few times in all of pre-Choice content, and it’s solely by the Kyrians. It’s never mentioned by anyone outside of Bastion, and the Kyrians are never anything but vague about what it actually is. The closest understanding the game offers before suddenly introducing it as a power progression system (and not even explaining that fully at this point) until now is a short optional quest chain in Bastion where you deliver a wreath from one NPC to another, who then gets all bubbly, explains that giving a wreath to someone you’re very close to is a symbol of asking them to be your soulbind, and then sends you to pick a flower that she and the other woman planted together at their favorite date spot years ago so she can give her answer. Going by this, soulbinding sounds like it’s a practice specific to the Kyrians, for whom its like marriage (and like any good Disney princess, I want to afterlife-marry for love, and not a dps boost). Now suddenly, we’re presented with three options per faction for soulbind partners (two of whom we’ve already been told are in a soulbind with each other? seriously, wtf is this concept?), some of whom we’ve interacted with for a grand total of five minutes by this point. The Necrolords have an option I’m not sure I’ve even actually met yet.

So... there we go. I’ve got to make a forced choice that it makes no sense to force in the first place about which simultaneously poorly explained and narrowly defined faction full of strangers that don’t act like they’re dead I want to pledge myself to.

Fuck it, it’s probably gonna be Venthyr just because their teleport spell is more useful than a summoned vendor or a second Ghost Wolf.

[nightblogofficialbook]

Chapter Ten

Also available to read on Tapas.io!

Zain’s red eyes met mine with relief, and then he collapsed.

“Zain!” I reacted immediately, my heart thundering, and ran to catch him. He was covered in gashes, his blood all over, churning my stomach but for once not because of my queasiness. His breath was ragged as I pulled him up, and as if purely on instinct he bit desperately into my open neck.

I winced, and everyone finally reacted in panic, crowding around with worry and fear while my vision started getting dizzy with losing blood too quickly.

“Back up, back up!” barked Ruby as she corralled everyone back. “Give em space!” Then she and her daughter knelt down next to us.

Zain disengaged his fangs and wiped his mouth with his torn-up sleeve, still breathing heavily. My eyes widened as I saw the cuts all over his body slowly healing over, regenerating on their own.

“It’s not safe in the forest,” he breathed urgently, holding Ruby’s gaze. “You need to get everyone back to the castle, now.”

She nodded calmly and gave a short whistle. “Saddle up everyone, we’re heading back!”

Murmurs of worried theories filled the group as they went back to their horses. I thought about following them but Zain kept a firm grip on my arms.

“Zain…” Victoria stood where she was as the crowd dispersed around her, her eyes in fearful worry.

He gave her a patient smile. “I’m alright. Go back with the others, okay?”

She held there in hesitation, her eyes darting to me for just a moment, and then went back to her horse.

Amber came back with the black mare’s lead. “Ya two need to get back to the council quickly; this is Shadow, she’s the fastest little lady we have. She’ll get ya home lickity split.”

Zain nodded and climbed on, pulling me up behind them. Rose’s mom pulled her up onto theirs.

“We’ll get this lot home quickly; you two do what you need to,” Ruby said.

“Be safe,” he said, and then coaxed Shadow into full gallop straight through the woods.

My mind raced as fast as the trees passed us by. “Zain-”

“Don’t talk,” he interrupted, the firmness his voice had held up until now wavered with fear. “At least not right now, not here.” His arms were trembling, and the while the shallow cuts had healed up, the gashes hadn’t. His breathing was become labored again; it felt like he could pass out at any moment.

I made a decision in my head before I even needed to think about it. I gripped at his shirt with conviction.

Zain, stop the horse.

He gave a start, not expecting to hear my voice, I’m sure. “What?”

“Stop the horse, now,” I said, out loud now that I had his attention.

“Helen, I’m not slowing down, I need to get back-”

Stop right now or I will throw myself off this horse!

His eyes widened as he turned back to meet mine. The sheer determination seemed to convince him and thankfully he didn’t call my bluff; Zain pulled on the reins and brought Shadow to a careful halt. I hopped off, rolling up my sleeve the moment my feet touched solid ground.

He got off too. “Okay, why the hell are you-”

“Don’t talk right now,” I said, and, before I could lose my conviction, forcefully shoved my forearm into his mouth until I felt his fangs pierce my skin.

His eyes widen in complete comical shock for only a moment, and then he grabbed my arm desperately and bit down hard. I hissed, fighting back the pain, as a soft moan seemed to come from Zain. My vision began to blur again, but I saw the gashes in his body getting better. I tried to keep calm, keep my heart level. It’s okay, everything's okay, it’s just like the normal, weekly feedings you normally do, it’s not at all as if Zain almost DIED or anything and we were still in the middle of the woods. I vaguely felt my knees land in the snow, Zain still attached to my arm. My vision had faded almost completely. It’s okay, everything’s okay…

Something weird was happening.

There was a strange sort of tugging sensation...not the cord pull, that was like something was pulling my body around. This was like something was pulling my… well, myself out of my body. I tried to fight it but I didn’t even know how. Before I knew it I had left and was in darkness.

I wasn’t passed out; that was a very distinct loss of self, like I just stopped existing for a bit. I was definitely still aware of myself, like I was pulled into a dream...or that illusion world Zain had created once.

Suddenly a whole bunch of images switched on all around me, like a bunch of TVs, blinking static in and out between what looked like movie scenes. I saw my face in a few, and many other faces and places and things. Each jittered and shifted into one single scene that engulfed my vision and all my senses.

Trees were passing by in a blur, as if I were moving through the woods at highway speeds. I was running, and it was such a rush! I felt so free and so...powerful. Nothing could catch me. Nothing could outrun me.

Something’s been bothering me; the forest had been too quiet, especially after the influx of thralls. I had to focus; I had to know. Surely...surely I was wrong.

The image jittered again like a bad signal and the scene fast forwarded. There was someone in the woods, I know it, I can smell them. What are they? Fast forward again, I’m being attacked! Pain engulfed me once again, nearly identical to what I had felt only half an hour ago. There was so much distance between me and...everything shifted once more.

I was limping through the woods, unable to run, a really foul taste in my mouth. Those bastards...they knew! They knew how far away I would be...she would be, from me. They knew I hadn’t fed for a while, they knew...I stumbled and fell a moment, trying to hold as much blood in a very large and painful gash in my side. I had to keep going, I need to find her, I need her, now, or I might…

I could feel the distance growing shorter; more of my strength was returning. I groaned and pushed onward; why the hell did she have to be so far out…!

Realization finally dawned on me. This was planned. Their plan A didn’t work so they changed targets. They lured me out from safety, to investigate, at the precise moment she would be the furthest away from me. It wasn’t just someone that would be close to her, it wouldn’t have been just someone around her…it was someone who would know me, too.

Someone I knew was trying to kill me.

My eyes snapped opened with a gasp as suddenly I was back in my own body again. My head spun for a moment, Zain holding me up so I didn’t fall back into the snow. My forearm throbbed, a purple bruise being the only indicator of the bite. My vision straighten out.

“What just happened?” I asked, still just a little dizzy.

“I was going to ask you that,” he replied. “Are you alright?”

My head felt fuzzy and light. “Yeah, something...something weird just happened. I didn't pass out did I?”

“Sorta, it was more like you were in a daze,” he said, and then asked carefully, “Did you...see anything?”

I blinked in surprise by the question. It was enough of an answer.

“I think you accidently performed a Dive.”

“I...what?! Those were your memories?!” Diving was what he had been doing to me when he had searched through my thoughts. “Was that supposed to happen?”

“Not...usually, not like that.” He seemed mildly embarrassed. And then after a moment, “You’re not nauseous.”

“There are more important things to worry about; I’ll throw up later.” I didn’t want to press my luck by over thinking.

He was quiet again but his eyes held my gaze, questioning. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?”

He lifted my arm, the purple bruise slowly fading to a slightly brown.

“Oh.” I scratched my head, making sure I had the right words first. “You...you were about to pass out, I could tell. You might have fooled anyone else but...but you weren’t healing. It just felt like what you needed in the moment.”

His face changed to a patient but confused amusement. “So your first thought was to force-feed me?”

I flushed. “I dunno, for some reason I thought you wouldn’t listen to reason,” I crossed my arms, looking way in mild irritation.

“You don’t know that,” I heard him mirror my words, and stole a glance. He looked deep in thought, worried again. I took a breath.

“Zain…” He looked up at his name. “I...understand for the most part what’s going on, but...but it feels like you know why. If...if this is going to happen again, I need to know why too.”

He stared at me for a moment, and then glanced around, slightly anxious, breathing in. “...you’re right. But not here. We need to get back quickly, I have to tell the council.”

I nodded, trusting him to tell me. We got back on the horse and back to a full gallop, leaning forward to avoid the branches passing overhead. Zain felt warm and stable now, some cuts still remaining but were shallow compared to what they once were.

You know about how Brides are chosen, right? came his voice in my head, startling me.

Yeah, I was told they can happen accidently, when a vampire reaches a certain age or something.

...forget everything you’ve been told then, they’re lies.

My eyes widened. “What?”

Bride’s aren’t created accidentally, not the way you’ve been told at least, they’re deliberately chosen. Deciding to take on a Bride is a huge risk, it puts your life in their hands. But in return you receive an immense amount power.

What do you mean?

Zain demonstrated by holding a hand out where I could see. Lightning crackled between his fingers, and immediately I remembered the convulsions from that thrall a few weeks ago.

I can do more than just that, too. I already had power to begin with because of my heritage; taking on a Bride magnifies it, and the amount by which you get stronger depends on your compatibility.

That’s why everyone was so worried when I showed up, I realized with a start, and he nodded. But...you said what we’ve been told is a lie, does everyone…?

The humans don’t know, but they could sense from the vampires that something was complicated.

But if...if Brides are chosen and not accidental, then why...why me?

I felt his thoughts waver as he tried to find the right words, or an answer in general.

I...I still don’t know, it was never my intention. I wasn’t even supposed to be out there at all; I was supposed to be kept under close watch and stay within the castle until I took on a Bride, especially with my parents being...gone. There was a heavy sadness in that last word. I was stupid and slipped my watch on the eve before I was supposed to be bonded with Victoria, and then I saw you.

I thought about scaring you; it looked like you had ended up here accidentally, and no one is even supposed to be able to get this far thanks to the barriers, so I was just planning to chase you off. But then you cut your arm, and… He struggled again, and sighed in defeat. I had never smelled something so sweet. I had never fed before, and the overwhelming urge to taste it overtook me. Before I knew it you were passed out in my arms and my mouth covered in your blood.

I swallowed and felt the panic of his memory fill him. I didn’t need to see to understand what he probably felt next.

Someone in the castle is trying to kill me, he continued. I’m positive now, the coincidences were too close. They must have seen an opportunity when I accidentally bit you, a possibility that I could be weaker than anticipated since I was pushing you away.

What do you mean?

You’re the source of my strength and power; the proximity between us affects how strong I can be. That’s why there was so much debate on where to put you.

I mean, I get that, but...why? Why are you being targeted?

He was silent for a good moment, and I could feel the sheer gravity from the words he said next.

Because if I die...every single vampire on this planet will be free from my family’s Blood Oath and go feral.

Silence fell between us for a good long moment. The connection with Zain’s thoughts still remained opened but were quiet. He felt tired, and fearful. His answers had been coming unfiltered with no reluctance; I felt like I now knew more about the situation than probably 90% of the castle. It felt strange, like a huge responsibility was just bestowed upon me and I didn’t know if I was right for the job.

Zain...I know I asked for answers, but...why are you telling me all of this?

He seemed to deliberate for just a moment. Because you’re the only one I can completely trust right now.

That caught me completely off guard. Why me?

I know your thoughts; I can be in your head when I need to, and I can see your memories; you’re not trying to kill me, even though it would be in your best interest. You want to run away but are willing to compromise. Despite everything, you’re trying to help me even at the cost of self-harm. And you’re right; you deserve to know what kind of fucked-up scenario you’ve been pulled into.

The trees gave way to a worn-down and hoof-printed trail. Shadow picked up pace, now that the way through was clear and sure. Maybe twenty minutes had passed since we left the springs; the rest of the group won’t be making it back for a good hour. I worried for a moment, but remembered that group was littered with other vampires. Surely they’ll be okay, right?

“There aren’t any more in the woods right now,” Zain murmured to me. “The rest scattered away but they could be back later. They’ll make it back in the barrier safely.”

His voice only gave me a small amount of comfort but it was comfort nonetheless. Zain rode Shadow all the way up to the castle path before wrapping an arm around my waist and hopping off, much to my slight protest. He gave a light pat of thanks and sent the horse off, and then took off running through the halls faster than humanly possible, slinging me up over his shoulder in an awkward and rushed hold. I had to shut my eyes to keep from getting dizzy as I got whipped-lashed with each sharp turn he took.

And in no time flat we were standing in front of those conference rooms once again. Dmitri and that one guy, Mason I think his name was, appeared seemingly out of nowhere as well with a rush of wind. Both their eyes were red.

“Zain! We got your message, what-?” Dmitri’s eyes widened with shock. Zain was still covered in blood and torn clothing. Mason whistled. “Daaaamn, what happened to you?”

He set me down. “Thralls, there were six of them waiting to ambush me in the woods.”

“But...I thought they had moved on, isn’t that what the hunters…?”

“And hunter’s have lied to us before, but I don’t think that’s the case this time.”

Mason’s eyes looked surprised this time. “You think it was…?”

“Undoubtedly. You called the others, right?”

Dmitri nodded. “They’ll be here soon. They’re not too pleased, Zain…”

“I don’t give a damn, Dmitri, I almost DIED.” They flinched. “This NEEDS to be discussed, properly this time.”

I swallowed, unsure what to do with myself. I felt like a tagalong that didn’t belong somewhere, like when a parent takes their child to a family-friend’s birthday party. We had walked into the room and were waiting at the top of the walkway. The air was tense and uncertain.

“They’re here,” Mason said, and not a moment later other doors around the room were opening and the COV made their way down to their seats.

Zain began to make his way to his seat, as did Dmitri. I started to follow but was stopped by Mason.

“We, uh, will have to sit this one out, princess,” he said sheepishly. I looked back towards Zain with worry.

“Go with Mason,” Zain ordered, glancing back to me. “I’ll come get you when we’re done.”

I swallowed and nodded, feeling very uncertain. Mason led the way through a different set of doors into what looked like a small waiting room. He went to lean against a wall, keeping both exits in view it looked like, and I sat down in one of the chairs. The silence was deafening.

“Um,” he began after a minute. “Sorry for, you know, teasing and scaring you that time. Zain’s been a pain in the ass all his life so having all that chaos around then didn’t really put me in the best of moods.”

I smirked a little. “So his jerkness IS inherent then.” He laughed at that.

“Yeah, he’s an idiot, but not a dumb idiot if you get what I’m saying. He’s got a lot on his plate.”

I nodded, and felt worried again. “What do you think is going to happen?”

“That depends; how much do you know?”

“I...I think I understand most of what’s been happening,” I said warily, unsure if Zain might get in trouble. “He’s told me a bit about what’s been happening behind the scenes...and the truth that the humans don’t know about the Brides.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “Really…? He told you?” He looked off, smirking incredulously. “Well I’ll be damned…”

Mason shook his head, still smiling. “Well, knowing how the council tends to respond to crisis, they’re going to argue with him. They tend to want to ignore the severity involving danger to the family, mostly ‘cause denial is less stressful, you know.” He sighed. “They’re a bunch of idiots.”

“Then why are they still on the council?”

“‘Cause as dumb as they are they still get things done, and they’ve got the public’s interest. It’s be dumber to demote them.”

Silence fell between us again. I cleared my throat awkwardly.

“So, um, how do you guys…?”

“Know Zain? We all kinda grew up together. Dmitri and I were wee little tots when Zain was born. Our families has been in service to his for a long while; you could almost say we’re his cousins. Soon as he was old enough to socialize our parents had us all meet and we became his guards. We’ve been best friends ever since.” He winked. “That's how we’re able to refer to him by name instead of honorifics. Well, at least privately.”

I nodded, feeling only a little bit more relaxed now; Zain trusts him then, and Dmitri too.

“Hey, if Zain’s such a jerk how come everyone keeps trying to tell me he’s nice?”

Mason laughed. “Oh that’s funny. Well, truth is he is a decent guy. But he’s also a kid, and kids are asses, no offense.”

“None taken.”

“Behind his ‘professional demeanor,’ he’s a bit of a brat, but he’s mature enough not to let that intervene with how he acts around everyone else. Zain was taught to have a pretty good eye for when to be mean and when to be polite, and to be honest he usually prefers to be polite. But he does care about everyone, the poor kid just doesn’t know how to handle it sometimes.”

Suddenly there was a loud BANG and the door burst open. Zain stormed in, furious and cursing as Dmitri followed, trying to pacify him.

“Those fucking idiots!”

“Zain-”

“I was attacked directly! How could they not see--?!”

Mason smirked lightly. “Didn’t go well?” Zain shot a glare at him.

“They believe these incidents were a coincidence,” Dmitri explained to me.

“--calling me paranoid--!”

“What?!” I bristled in alarm. “But you…? They…?” But he was attacked! I was attacked!

“I know!” he snarled furiously. “They wouldn’t even hear me, told me it was too soon for an assassination attempt. Damn it!” Zain kicked a chair and it shattered. My chest clenched and I flinched.

“Zain, calm down,” Dmitri warned, having seen me jump from the violence.

“I’m calm,” Zain growled, but was visibly calming down. His eyes flicked towards me and his expression softened. “Sorry, Helen.”

“I’m okay,” I assured, telling myself to calm down. “I’m...I’m okay.”

Dmitri nodded. “It’s getting late. You should take Helen back to her dorms; we’ll keep an eye on things around the castle.”

“That group should be getting back by now,” Mason said. “Someone’s gotta let them know what’s going on.”

Zain sighed. “Fine. You two take care of that. Let’s go, Helen. I’ll take you back to your room.”

I stiffened, remembering the trip here. “...can we walk this time?”

“Fine,” he obliged irritably.

Mason and Dmitri gave quick nods. “We’ll figure this out, Zain, don’t worry.” And then they vanished with a whoosh of air.

Zain began walking out and down the hall. I followed, quickening my pace to catch up to him. He was looking off in the distance, his eyes narrowed and angrily muttering to himself. I swallowed, feeling strangely awkward again, and fearful. I began to wonder, though...could it be a coincidence? Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, we might be jumping to conclusions?

“Of course not,” Zain spat in a low voice, making me jump. “I know what I saw, Helen.”

“I-I know, I’m just thinking…”

He breathed and sighed. Okay. Fine. Let’s analyze the facts then. You were given a letter that led you directly to a thrall waiting just outside the barrier at just the right time, with the intent to kill you. That letter could only have come from someone within the castle. Someone who can monitor you. Fast forward to well after the fact, I’m lured out of the castle, in the complete opposite direction as where you would be located, in a similar manner, after having to skip a feeding week.

I blinked. You were given a note?

No. But concerns were presented to me; some of our visitors expressed worry about a strange presence in the forest when they arrived. Someone knew I would respond, and had six more thralls laying in wait to ambush me.

With a jolt I remembered what Wendy had said to me earlier. “The eyes are watching…” I whispered. Zain stopped walking.

She knows?

I nodded. I-I think so. She was scared Zain, something was keeping her from saying anything.

“Let me see,” he said out loud, taking my face in his hands. My face flushed and my heart rose to my throat again but I didn’t resist; I let the memory come forward with ease. Zain’s eyes stared into mine, glazed over in that manner that felt like he was looking through me...which he was. His face felt so close to mine, that sweet scent was filling my senses…

And then suddenly he let go and was standing protectively in front of me, looking alarmed. He shushed me quietly before I could make a noise. Be casual, I heard him say, as his demeanor transitioned from one of alarm to one of formality, his expression hard set and cool.

A vampire came rushing up the hall, at normal speed. It wasn’t Dmitri, or Mason, or anyone else I would have expected. Oddly enough it was Greg, looking flustered and worried.

“My Lord, is everything alright? I heard-” He spotted me and noticed the state of Zain’s clothing. “What happened? I heard you were attacked!”

I gave a start; there was no way news would have traveled that fast...would it?

“Everything’s fine,” Zain replied coolly. “There was an altercation, but nothing to worry about. It’s getting late now so I’m escorting my Bride back to her dorm.”

His eyes almost seem to light with an idea. “Shall I assist you? An extra pair of eyes might be useful, in case something happens on the way.” My insides froze; this was way too coincidental. He knows, he knows it’s just Zain and me right now, he knows-

Calm down Helen, he’s not going to do anything. “My presence will be enough, thank you,” Zain replied, a small hint of a protective growl that caused Greg to dip his head in submission.

“My apologies,” he responded. “It was rather presumptuous of me. I shall leave you to it then. Have a good night, Miss Morris. I hope you sleep well.”

We waited until Greg had passed us and went out of sight, and then I let out the breath I had apparently been holding. My heart seemed to stutter as it tried to go back to normal and relax. I looked up to Zain, expecting to maybe see some sort of relief.

Instead he looked concerned and scared.

“...Zain?”

“You can’t stay in the dorms anymore,” he spoke quietly, and began moving again, still in the same direction as we had been going.

I blinked. “I’m sorry what?”

He didn’t answer, and his silence made a new fear rise up in my chest.

“Hold on, hold on…” I quickened my pace to keep up with him. His face was still the same set of concerned fear as before. “What do you mean I can’t stay in the dorms anymore?”

“The safest place for you--for the both of us, is if you stay as close to me as possible.” If I’m right, if someone from within the castle is trying to kill us, to kill me, then they’re going to do it when we’re separated. “I can’t take the risk of something happening to you when I’m not close by.”

I swallowed as I realized what he was getting to. “Wait. Wait, no.”

“Get over it Helen, you can stay tonight but after this, you’re staying with me.” Ignore what I’m saying out loud, I’m not taking any chances. You’re coming back with me tonight.

My mind reeled at the thought of what he was insinuating and the whiplash between hearing his voice out loud and in my head. We had already made it to the Day Wing by now, and were close to the door.

Just go to your room and wait for me by the balcony; grab only what you need and do it quickly.

“Wait, hold on, hold on! What am I supposed to tell the others?!”

“Don’t tell them anything; just act normally.” Just go up to your room and be ready when I get there. He opened the door and shoved me in. “Now go!”

“Zain!” I hissed but he was already gone.

“Helen?”

Claire was sitting at the kitchen table. She stood up immediately. “Hey, is everything alright? We just got back not too long ago, is Lord Zain-?”

“He’s okay,” I replied quickly, hating the fact that I have to come up with a lie. “Zain just...needed healing.”

“Ah, say no more,” she said, to my relief. “You probably want to go lie down. I’ll let the others know, no worries.”

“Thanks Claire. I’ll see you later.” I closed the distance between myself and the stairs, climbing as slow and normal as I dared, and shut the door to my room behind me. Immediately I went into autopilot, pretending to pack things as if I were going to an emergency sleepover. A couple changes of clothes, underwear, toothbrush and bathroom necessities, whatever I could think of that I would need for an overnight stay. Keeping my mind occupied, trying not to think about the danger I might currently be in.

Everything was packed now, though, and panic started coming back.

There’s no telling what’s about to happen. Zain was attacked today, he said they might be back. There’s a spy in the castle that wants to kill us, and that could be Greg. Something about that interaction worried Zain enough to have me pack, have me leave. He was worried enough that if I stayed here I could die. There was no knowing when or where we might be attacked again, or what could happen next. It was like a pit had opened up all around me, and one wrong move, one wrong step will cause me to be swallowed up.

I gripped my arms, trying to stay calm. It was a vampire that attacked him, and likely a vampire trying to kill him. Vampires can get in anywhere they please, they could get into my room, there  could even be one on their way now to finish the job…

I heard a light thud behind me and felt a blast of cold wind, and screamed.

“Helen, shh, it’s me!” came Zain’s voice as he covered my mouth and pulled me back. “Calm down, it’s okay, it’s just me.”

Zain’s clothing was soft and warm; he had changed out of the tattered blood-stain ones already. I slumped into his arms and started to cry.  

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, Helen. I won’t let anything happen, I promise.”

I swallowed and nodded, feeling embarrassed. We heard a light knock on the door and stiffened.

“Helen?” came Claire’s voice through the door. “Yo, you okay in there?”

“Sorry!” I called automatically, trying to mask the rasp in my voice. “Just a spider, I’m okay!”

She walked away after a moment to be sure, and we both relaxed. Zain released his arms from around me as I felt the chill of the air fill their place.

“We need to move quickly now, someone may come here tonight and catch my scent here,” he said. “You have everything ready?”

I nodded, my voice croaking quietly. “Y-yeah, I’ve got what I need.”

“Good. Grab it and come with me.”

I followed him back to the balcony as I started to realized how he planned on getting me out unnoticed. I shivered as we stepped out into the frosted air; the night was quiet and muffled, the sky clear and the moon bright. He knelt down a little bit and held a hand out over his shoulder.

“Climb on,” he ordered.

I was dumbfounded and more than a little nervous. “What?”

He scowled. “Now, Helen.”

This wasn’t the time for my stupidity; I took his hand and hopped onto his back. I could feel every pulse in my body pound as I tried to find the least awkward way of holding on and trying not to think about him touching my legs.

Once he deemed me secure enough he stepped up on the balcony rail with lithe and practiced ballance. “Hold on tight as you can, and don’t scream.”

“What are you—?” The words were thrown right back now my throat as a rush of cold air took my breath from me. My arms around his neck tightened in surprise; he had leapt upwards and was now dangling on the edge of castle with nothing but air between us and the ground far below. I suddenly realized I may have a fear of heights.

Zain seemed to bunch up beneath me, and I realized he was about to jump again. At the very last second I gripped tighter once more as he release powerfully into the night air.

We were practically soaring, flying up along the sheer face of the wall, the cold wind biting at my cheeks and arms. I should have grabbed another jacket. My stomach lifted as we reached the crest of his momentum and then plummeted as he grabbed the ledge and lunged forward across the rooftops. I buried my face in his back and closed my eyes to block the wind as he ran, trying not to think about how high up we were.

Zain moved like liquid; the ride this time was much more gentle and smooth. He jumped between the dips and valleys effortlessly, like I wasn’t even there. I stole a peek, and gasped at the quickly moving landscape around us. It was just like in the memory dive, like we were moving at highway speeds almost.

As we reached the center of the castle rooftops, Zain changed course slightly, spiraling up the side of a tower until everything came to a stop at the top.

I gasped in the cold air as I looked around. The land stretched all around us, the sea of trees far more vast than I thought. They rose and fell in hills in the distance in one direction, and flattening out in the other towards town. Steam was lightly billowing from the hot springs I had just been out at with everyone else. The snow left a quiet, glittering blanket of white across it all.

“It’s hard to believe,” came Zain’s soft voice, startling me, “the world is so much more vast compared to the confines you were raised.” He looked up. “I’ve wondered how different it would be, to see the same sky somewhere else.”

I looked up too, amazed. The sky held so much more depth and color than the sky I was used to seeing. Shades of blue and dots of color-changing light glittered across it, the full moon casting a bright glow from the sky. Our breathes came out in puffs of air, and his body felt very warm against mine. The cold was biting at my cheeks and nose but for the moment I didn’t care. It reminded me of the snowy mornings and evenings I used to walk through the woods, the peaceful lull letting me forget about everything.

Zain’s eyes moved slightly back towards me and met mine; they weren’t red anymore. Before now I had wondered if I had imagined it, but now I was certain. His eyes were green and vast, like a nebula flecked with gold. And for a moment I felt my heart stop. I couldn’t be sure, it was very slight, but Zain...might have been smiling.

And then the moment was gone. His eyes had gone back to red as he looked down at the castle grounds before us.

Vampire’s were darting around the Night Wing courtyard, setting up tables and lights and decorations, getting ready for the Winter Solstice Ball. Some humans looked to be performing magic, and were helping too. Zain looked down at them all with concern.

“It’s getting close,” I commented quietly, thinking about the ball. Everyone was really looking forward to it, but with what just happened...I wonder if it was even a good idea to go through with it. And I wonder if Zain was thinking the same thing.

“Time to hurry,” he murmured. And then we were off again, the air rushing past our faces.

Thoughts of the dance passed and I thought about why we had stopped in the first place. It hadn’t been necessary at all. Even though we were in danger, even though we were in a hurry, he decided to stop and climb that tower. To show me the sky, the view. It felt like something private, something he had never shown anyone. But...he showed me. Why?

“I just thought it’d be something you’d like to see,” I heard him say quietly, then add with a sly smile, “You know, just in case.”

I blinked and then my face flushed. He...he’s teasing me! “That’s not something to joke about!” I hissed angrily. He laughed quietly, and picked up pace. I ducked my face into his back again, my cheeks and nose and fingers beginning to go numb. I wonder if the cold affected him at all, or if it was just something he was used to.

“It’s freezing,” he said, as if in response, and began to slow down. “We’re almost there.”

I peeked over his shoulder and saw the edge of the castle rapidly coming towards us. My chest tightened, remembering just how high up we were and how far down the ground was.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going to jump,” my voice squeaked.

“Alright, I won’t.”

“Zain, that��s not what I--!” Once again my words were thrown back down my throat as his muscles bunched and leaped forward. If it weren’t for my breath being knocked away I probably would have screamed as we began a free fall over the edge. At the last second Zain grabbed a flag pole with one hand and changed momentum, flinging us towards the castle wall at a downward angle. And then, almost effortlessly, we came to a soft stop on the railing of a large stone balcony.

“We’re here,” he said.

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