#Wedding customs in India

[molkolsdal]

Lashkaraa

[sceneloc8]

Top Restaurant and cafes Location For Shooting in Mumbai

Mumbai, India’s lively city, is not just a great place to eat, it’s also a great place to work on creative projects. SceneLoc8 has compiled a list of the best restaurants and cafes in Mumbai for your pre-wedding shoot, photography session, music video, or vlog. These places have the perfect mix of atmosphere and style to make your vision come true.

Possibilities for creative content:

Pre-Wedding Shoots: To add a touch of class to your pre-wedding photos, take pictures of timeless moments of love and romance in stylish cafes or fancy restaurants.

Photography: Look into the unique interiors and architectural details of Mumbai’s best cafes and restaurants to take pictures that show off both delicious food and artistic skill.

Set the scene for your music video in a trendy café or a cozy bistro. The atmosphere and energy of these busy spots will come through in your images.

Vlogs: Show your viewers your cooking adventures and dining experiences through interesting vlogs shot at Mumbai’s famous restaurants and cafes, giving viewers a taste of the city’s lively food scene.

Filming: To make your scenes seem more real, use famous Mumbai cafes or high-end restaurants. This will immerse viewers in the city’s rich cultural tapestry.

Advice for people who make content:

If you want to shoot in a Mumbai restaurant or cafe, keep these things in mind:

Permission and Cooperation: Make sure you get the right permissions from the business before filming or taking pictures. This will make sure the shoot goes smoothly and without any problems.

Time: Plan your shoot for a time when it’s not busy so that there aren’t too many people around and you can get a good sense of the atmosphere of the place.

Respectful Behavior: When you’re shooting, be aware of other customers and staff and treat them with respect. Stay professional and polite the whole time.

Creative Composition: Use the restaurant or cafe’s unique features and atmosphere to your advantage by experimenting with lighting, angles, and composition to make content that looks stunning.

Showing Off the Experience: In your content, talk about the venue’s atmosphere and tasty treats, giving people a tantalizing look into the dining experience.

Why You Should Write Content in Restaurants and Cafes:

The restaurants and cafes in Mumbai are great for content creators in many ways:

Aesthetic Appeal: These places, from trendy cafes to high-end restaurants, have stylish interiors and interesting decor that make them perfect for posting visually appealing content.

Flexibility: Mumbai’s restaurants and cafes can be used for a variety of creative purposes. They can be used as quiet places for intimate scenes or as busy places for lively visuals.

Cultural Significance: Many famous restaurants and cafes in Mumbai have cultural significance. Showing the city’s culinary history will give your content more depth and authenticity.

Accessibility: These places are in different neighborhoods across the city, so they are easy to get to for your shoot because of logistics and transportation.

Unlock the culinary charm and creative potential of Mumbai’s top restaurants and cafes with SceneLoc8. Whether you’re a photographer, filmmaker, or content creator, these iconic locations offer the perfect setting to bring your vision to life. Explore, create, and capture unforgettable moments amidst the vibrant backdrop of Mumbai’s dining scene.

#RestaurantShoot #CafeLocations #MumbaiPhotography #ContentCreation #SceneLoc8 #PreWeddingShoot #MusicVideos

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@SceneLoc8 India

@SceneLoc8 Mumbai

[vidilpaperbags]

Buy Themed Paper Gift Bags for Every Occasion

In today's world of thoughtful gifting, presentation matters just as much as the gift itself. That's where themed paper gift bags come in, offering a stylish and convenient way to elevate your gift-giving game. 

These pre-decorated bags boast a variety of themes, from whimsical butterflies to romantic hearts, allowing you to personalize your gift and express your sentiment in a visually captivating way. But themed paper gift bags offer more than just aesthetics. Here's why they're a winning choice for all your gifting needs: 

Convenience at Your Fingertips: 

Let's face it, wrapping a gift can be time-consuming and require a bit of artistic flair. Themed paper gift bags eliminate that hassle. Simply slip your gift inside and add a decorative bow or ribbon for a complete and polished look. This saves you valuable time and ensures a professional presentation every single time. 

A World of Themes to Explore: 

The beauty of themed paper gift bags lies in their versatility. With a vast array of themes available, you're guaranteed to find the perfect match for any occasion: 

Butterfly Theme Paper Gift Bags: Symbolizing transformation, joy, and beauty, these vibrant and colorful butterfly gift bags are ideal for birthdays, graduations, or celebrating a new beginning. 

Feather Theme Paper Gift Bags: Representing strength, wisdom, and creativity, these elegant feather themed gift bags are perfect for gifts meant to inspire or motivate, like a new journal or art supplies. 

Heart Themed Paper Gift Bags: The universal symbol of love and affection, these charming heart gift bags bulk are a delightful choice for weddings, anniversaries, Valentine's Day, or simply expressing your love to someone special. 

Floral Print Wedding Gift Bags: Exuding timeless elegance and romance, floral print wedding gift bags are ideal for weddings, bridal showers, or any occasion where you want to convey your heartfelt congratulations. 

Floral Printed Paper Bags: Floral prints come in a vast array of styles and colors. Choose a delicate and feminine design for a friend or opt for bold and floral gift bag patterns for a more playful touch. 

Beyond these themes, there's a whole world of possibilities! You can find themed paper gift bags for holidays like Christmas and Halloween, for specific hobbies like gardening or music, or even personalized bags with names or initials. 

Beyond Convenience and Style: The Benefits of Themed Paper Gift Bags 

Themed paper gift bags offer a multitude of benefits beyond convenience and aesthetics: 

Durability: Modern paper gift bags are crafted from sturdy materials that can withstand the weight of your gift without tearing or breaking. 

Eco-Friendly Options: Many themed papers gift bags are made from recycled materials, allowing you to be both stylish and environmentally conscious. 

Cost-Effective: Themed paper gift bags are a budget-friendly way to add a touch of elegance to your gift presentation. 

Themed paper gift bags offer a stylish and convenient way to elevate your gift-giving. With their versatility, affordability, and environmental benefits, they're a perfect choice for any occasion. So next time you're picking out a gift, remember the power of a beautifully themed paper bag! It can make all the difference in creating a lasting impression.

[neon11seo]

Neon Creative Concept 11 | Custom Neon Signs and LED Boards

Neon Creative Concept 11 specializes in customized neon lighting. We create custom signboards for homes, shops, and offices. Made in India quality

[wishtreeweddings]

Infusing each occasion with a touch of casual elegance, our creative flair extends to sustainable decor and the inclusion of locally sourced elements, ensuring that each celebration is not only memorable but also an environmentally conscious experience.

DM for Details @wishtreewedding

[mahekmarcon]

Looking for an elegant way to make your wedding invitations extra special? Our personalized wedding invitation chocolate boxes are a thoughtful and unique addition to any wedding invitation, creating a lasting impression on your guests. Each wedding invitation chocolate box is expertly crafted with premium ingredients and customized with your choice of design, whether it's the couple's names or a personalized message for your guests. Our chocolates come in a variety of flavors and combinations, sure to please any taste bud. We understand that wedding invitations are the first glimpse of your special day, and we believe that they should be just as memorable as the wedding itself. That's why we take extra care to create chocolate boxes that are not only delicious but also beautifully designed to match the tone and theme of your wedding. At Chocovira, we know that your wedding day is one of the most important events in your life, and we're honored to be a part of it. That's why we strive to make every chocolate box not just a treat, but a meaningful expression of your love and gratitude for your guests. So, why settle for a plain and boring wedding invitation when you can add a touch of sweetness with Chocovira's chocolate boxes? Your guests will be delighted to receive such a unique and personalized invitation, setting the tone for an unforgettable wedding celebration.

[punjabiadda-blog]

Kaint Jatt Att Jatti Couple T Shirt – Punjabi Adda

Unleash your inner Jatt and Jatti style with our Kaint couple t shirts! Perfect for the power duo who love to make a statement wherever they go. Show off your confident and unstoppable attitude in these comfortable, trendy tees that are sure to turn heads. Don't settle for ordinary, be extraordinary - get your Kaint couple t-shirts today!

[rajasthantours2020]

The Most Memorable Honeymoon Tour Packages in Rajasthan

India is a country rich in culture and heritage. From the snow-capped mountains of the north to the sandy beaches of the south, India has something for everyone. And when it comes to weddings and honeymoons, there's no place quite like Rajasthan. Rajasthan is a land steeped in history and romance. If you're looking for a truly memorable honeymoon experience, look no further than Rajasthan.

Tour Package #1: The Udaipur Honeymoon Package

Udaipur is a city like no other. Located in southern Rajasthan, Udaipur is often called the "Venice of the East" due to its network of canals and lakes. Udaipur is also home to some of the most beautiful palaces and temples in all of India. The Udaipur honeymoon package includes a 3-night stay at the Lake Palace Hotel, a luxury hotel located on an island in Lake Pichola. There is also a private boat tour of the lake, a sunset cruise on Lake Pichola, and a day trip to Jodhpur nearby.

Tour Package #2: The Jaisalmer Honeymoon Package

Jaisalmer is a city located in western Rajasthan, close to the border with Pakistan. Jaisalmer is known for its golden sandstone architecture and its beautiful desert landscape. The Jaisalmer honeymoon package includes a 3-night stay at the Oberoi Amarvilas, a luxury hotel with views of the Taj Mahal. The package also includes a camel safari through the Thar Desert, a jeep safari through Jaisalmer Fort, and a sunset dinner cruise on Lake Pichola.

Tour Package #3: The Jodhpur Honeymoon Package

Jodhpur is a city located in western Rajasthan, close to the border with Pakistan. Jodhpur is known for its blue buildings and its beautiful desert landscape. The Jodhpur honeymoon package includes a 3-night stay at the Umaid Bhawan Palace, one of the largest private residences in the world. The package also includes a camel safari through the Thar Desert, a jeep safari through Jaisalmer Fort, and a sunset dinner cruise on Lake Pichola.

Rajasthan is an unforgettable destination for your honeymoon. With its stunning architecture, beautiful landscapes, and rich culture, Rajasthan has everything you could want for an amazing honeymoon experience. Choose from one of our three tour packages—the Udaipur honeymoon package, the Jaisalmer honeymoon package, or the Jodhpur honeymoon package—and start planning your dream honeymoon today with Rajasthan Tours and Travels!

[pomefioredove]

Saw requests opened again! Can I have Scarabia headcanons for this scenario: so they invited their s/o back to the Scalding Sands for a festival and provides their lover with a special evening attire for a party or smth. The outfit itself is red and gold (typical Scarabia colors) but the s/o is from a culture where those are wedding colors (ex: China, Vietnam, India, Nepal, etc). Cue the reader teasingly asking them if this was their way of proposing. How do Jamil and Kalim react (separately) and how blushy do they get?

OH THIS IS SO CUTE! omggg

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ wedding colors

summary: a little misunderstanding type of post: headcanons characters: jamil, kalim additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

poor Jamil

in all the chaos of preparing for the festival, he forgot to ask you what colors you wanted

of course, he knows your favorites

but he wants this to be special

and now he only has a day left to arrange an outfit for you!

that's not enough time to customize something

so, he gets his mom's permission to borrow something of hers

she has the nicest clothes, and it'll be meaningful

he chooses something neutral (or so he thinks)

red and gold for the festival, right?

and you look stunning in it!

but he takes note of the strange smirk on your face as you ask where he got it

"It's my mother's nicest outfit," he says, a little too proud of himself

"Your mothers... and in these colors... is this your way of proposing?"

huh

???

Jamil knows he fucked up right away

only then, he remembers you mentioning the meaning of red in your culture, and...

it completely slipped his mind

he stammers out some half-assed explanation and then excuses himself to cool down in the hall

how embarrassing...

at least you just think it's funny

but, even he will admit, the following festival makes a great "wedding venue"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Kalim's family tailor wasn't enough

this is a special event, after all, and he wants everyone to know just how special you are

he hires the finest tailor in the land and tells him to make the "prettiest outfit anyone's ever seen"

...and nothing else

so, the tailor, with such little foresight, chooses the easiest colors

red for courage and life

gold for nobility and perfection

easy, right?

well...

Kalim thinks you look amazing, and he's so excited to introduce you to everyone that he doesn't let you get a word in

at the end of the festival, you joke that if it had been your family, everyone would be asking about the wedding

and he's like

:)?

so you explain the meaning of the colors

and his face just fills with dread

not at the premise of marrying you

but because this outfit isn't nearly good enough to propose to you in!!!

and once he starts, he won't stop

first of all, he would have gotten you the most beautiful clothes anyone has ever worn

he would have an entire parade of exotic animals and gold and jewels in your honor

and then a banquet

and then a scenic carpet ride

and then he'd propose. of course!

it's cute how worked up he gets over it, and how much he's already thought it out :)

[manikas-whims]

Happy Diwali 🎇 and thanks for all the nice headcanons about lads

can i please please request some Diwali headcanons with lads boys pretty plase 🥹 lov u

Happy Diwali to you too anon 🥰

tho i’m kinda busy at home, i’ll write a few HCs for you ♡

Celebrating Diwali with LADS Men

some love and deepspace x Desi! Reader headcanons

Cleaning and Decorations with Xavier

-> Cleaning up the house during Diwali signifies letting go of the old (past) and bringing in/welcoming the new. Whereas decorative lights represent the triumph of light over darkness; victory of good over evil.

You tell Xavier about this desi tradition and the next morning he's at your door at 7 am sharp with all the cleaning supplies. He helps you clean up, declutter and even get rid of certain things you don't need anymore but keep hoarding for no reason 😭

Xavier will also love joining you in crafting lanterns, as well as buying decorative items because he gets to spend more time with you 🥺. He'll help you hang the decorative pieces at all the high places, and definitely enjoy setting up all the lights ✨. IT'S HIS FAVORITE PART ABOUT THIS FESTIVAL. He'll help place the diyas (🪔) all over the house.

Shopping with Sylus

-> Shopping for new items such as furnishings and such is a way to bring in the new things into your lives. It's also believed that buying gold or silver during Diwali is auspicious and brings in wealth and prosperity to a family.

Sylus learns about this custom and the next day, he's outside your apartment with his sportscar, inviting you to a shopping date with him. Will definitely spoil you and buy loads of gold and silver jewellery for you cause he can 😌

Will also buy you furnishings way too lavish for your liking, saying shit like “the couch in your living room is too shabby, sweetie.” May or may not ask Luke and Keiran to help replace and redecorate all the furniture in your house 😭

Making candles and sweet dishes with Zayne

-> Many people buy but many others also make their own candles and diyas (🪔) at home to decorate the house. We also make sweet dishes which vary accordingly with every region of India.

Zayne is a calm and patient person. So who better to invite for making candles and sweets than him? He'll be a very patient learner. He'll love this activity so much, mostly cause he'll get to see your cute, annoyed expressions. And his candles will definitely look better than your crooked ones 😭

ZAYNE LOVES SWEETS! He'll be kinda excited to try the Desi delicacies. He'd probably enjoy Gulab Jamun the most! And Rasmalai 😋. He may not like kaju katli or soan papri as much but he'll appreciate them all the same. Oh and he will surely like boondi ke laddu.

Rangoli and Mehendi with Rafayel

-> We make Rangolis during Diwali to welcome the Goddess Lakshmi, goddess of wealth and prosperity. It is believed that deities like houses with beautiful rangoli. Rangolis also represent the people’s joy as well as the triumph of good over evil. Whereas Mehendi (or henna art) is a tradition mostly performed by women. We love covering our hands in beautiful henna art 😍

Rafayel is an artist so of course he's gonna be most excited to indulge in the Rangoli making. His designs are gonna be the prettier than yours. He doesn't even bother looking up the simple rangoli designs on the internet. He'll directly create his own authentic and complex designs all over your house.

And he'd love Mehendi (henna art). He'd quickly learn the process of making mehendi at home. And then he'll get down to making beautiful patterns on your hands. Will definitely add lots of water symbolic designs as well as hide his name in the design 🤭 (eh-hem hiding each-other’s names in mehendi art is a hindu wedding tradition for bride and groom)

Miscellaneous HCs

♡ All of them will sincerely sit throughout the praying session. They'll help perform all the rituals.

♡ All of them will gawk at you in your pretty lehengas and sarees and kurtis and other traditional outfits you choose to wear 😊. They'll shower you with loads of compliments. Will definitely try out desi outfits for men if you ask them.

♡ They'll love trying out all the desi dishes you prepared.

♡ Xavier and Zayne will enjoy all the card games and will definitely keep beating your ass 😭

♡ They'll say no to fire crackers cause they cause pollution. Celebrate a Green Diwali y'all 😊🫶

WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY DIWALI 🪔

» MASTERLIST «

[starryalpacasstuff]

Fire (1996): A Mostly Spoiler Free Pitch Because You Should Watch It Immediately

It's time for "An Indian QL bulldozed past my expectations and I am reeling in awe", Part Two!

A few days ago, @neuroticbookworm told me about Fire, an old lesbian Indian movie she'd been wanting to watch. Me being me, I promptly tracked it down and settled in to watch it.

Very loosely based on the 1942 short story Lihaaf, the movie follows Sita, a newly wed bride who is settling in with her in-laws, which is how she meets Radha, who is married to her husband's brother. Both in unhappy marriages, they find solace and company with each other, quickly falling in love. Length: 1 Hour 40 Minutes TWs: Homophobia, C-word mentioned once, some depictions of domestic violence Release: 1996

The is almost entirely in English, and while one generally expects Bollywood movies to be in Hinglish, it's definitely a conscious choice here, which does make me wonder if the movie was supposed to be promoted to a greater international audience. You can find it here on Youtube, most of the (very few) Hindi dialogues have hard subtitles. I think it's also available on Prime? It wasn't available in India though, which is odd, but I didn't bother investigating. Let me know if anyone can figure anything out about this!

Going into this movie, I expected a melodramatic, emotional movie with a bittersweet tone. I did not expect a biting, incredibly engaging movie with excellent satire, symbolism, discussions of chastity culture, and an incredibly sweet, beautifully written romance. And I was certainly not prepared for how incredibly horny this movie is??? Both in subtle tension and overt sex scenes. There's also partial nudity, which again, completely unexpected. If you're going taboo, go taboo all the way I suppose. It's also very well directed, and while I'm not nearly as good at identifying details like that as some of the people on here, I did pick up on some colour coding and interesting framing. It's just overall packed with little details that I think a lot of us would have a field day analysing.

Honestly, I could talk about the cultural nuances in this movie for hours. Contrary to my assumption about the reasoning behind making the movie fully in English, the movie seems to rely on the viewer's understanding of North Indian customs to deliver a lot of it's messages, particularly with its satire, more on that below. While I don't think it's necessary to enjoy the movie, it definitely does add some meat to the story. Then again, I'm a biased party, so it'll be hard to determine just how many messages may be lost to someone from outside of India without someone to compare notes with (this is me shamelessly trying to get you to watch the movie). Honestly, I'd be 100% down to write a more detailed, spoiler-including post that goes into the implicit nuances if people are interested.

There's two main selling points for the movie; the incredible way it shuts down purity and chastity ideology and the absolutely adorable relationship between Radha and Sita. The movie is set on ruthlessly tearing down and emphasizing the ridiculousness of purity culture. A lot of the messaging is indirect and uses metaphors, but there's also several explicit scenes addressing the issue. It's one of the main themes of the movie and I'm almost convinced the real reason it's titled 'Fire' is the sheer number of burns it dishes out on this subject. The romance portion of this movie is one of the thing's that completely defied my expectations. It wasn't sad and dramatic, it was heartfelt and silly and adorable. There's several scenes of the two subtly flirting, laughing together and just being lowkey in love. But that's not to say there's no emotional depth—they're also there for each other and are quite vulnerable with each other.

The movie used a lot of metaphors, but my favourites were the almost satirical representation of mythological stories. In a religion as diverse as Hinduism, every holiday has two dozen stories behind it and each story has two dozen versions, so it's to be expected that you'll find a number of problematic or otherwise kind of ridiculous stories in the mix. The stories were told completely seriously, but the context of the movie highlights their absurd facets in a truly brilliant way. I'm not going to give too much away, but I will say, it was a delight to watch the juxtaposition of the myths and the storyline of the movie, particularly it's ties to the purity culture discussion. You'll understand when you watch it. I'm not turning this into a Hindu mythology lesson (yet) but one interesting tidbit is that Radha and Sita are both names of mythological figures; namely the partners of two of the most worshipped avatars of the god Vishnu: Krishna and Rama respectively. And I was overjoyed to find that their names do have relevance to the metaphors in the story, particularly Sita's.

When the movie was first released, there were massive protests against it, I'm talking hundreds of people storming into theatres to destroy them and drive away audiences. I don't know what to say here beyond this, but what I will say is that I think Fire is an amazing movie that absolutely does not deserve to be lost to the sands of time. I hope you give it a shot, and if you do, tag me in any posts you make about it!

Tagging people who seemed interested in recs from my last post, let me know if you'd rather I not tag you!

@lurkingshan @impala124 @bengiyo @letgomaggie @winnysatang

@watertightvines @nutcasewithaknife @blorbingqls @twig-tea

@waitmyturtles @cryingatships @benkaben @usertoxicyaoi

@befuddledcinnamonroll @flyingrosebeetle

[womenaremypriority]

This is so horrific.

———————

I have been following Siro’s story for 30 years, ever since I went to interview her and four other rural midwives in India’s Bihar state in 1996.

They had been identified by a non-governmental organisation as being behind the murder of baby girls in the district of Katihar where, under pressure from the newborns’ parents, they were killing them by feeding them chemicals or simply wringing their necks.

Hakiya Devi, the eldest of the midwives I interviewed, told me at the time she had killed 12 or 13 babies. Another midwife, Dharmi Devi, admitted to killing more - at least 15-20.

It is impossible to ascertain the exact number of babies they may have killed, given the way the data was gathered.

But they featured in a report published in 1995 by an NGO, based on interviews with them and 30 other midwives. If the report’s estimates are accurate, more than 1,000 baby girls were being murdered every year in one district, by just 35 midwives. According to the report, Bihar at the time had more than half a million midwives. And infanticide was not limited to Bihar.

Refusing orders, Hakiya said, was almost never an option for a midwife.

“The family would lock the room and stand behind us with sticks,” says Hakiya Devi. “They’d say: ‘We already have four-five daughters. This will wipe out our wealth. Once we give dowry for our girls, we will starve to death. Now, another girl has been born. Kill her.’

“Who could we complain to? We were scared. If we went to the police, we’d get into trouble. If we spoke up, people would threaten us."

The role of a midwife in rural India is rooted in tradition, and burdened by the harsh realities of poverty and caste. The midwives I interviewed belonged to the lower castes in India’s caste hierarchy. Midwifery was a profession passed on to them by mothers and grandmothers. They lived in a world where refusing orders of powerful, upper-caste families was unthinkable.

The midwife could be promised a sari, a sack of grain or a small amount of money for killing a baby. Sometimes even that was not paid. The birth of a boy earned them about 1,000 rupees. The birth of a girl earned them half.

The reason for this imbalance was steeped in India’s custom of giving a dowry, they explained. Though the custom was outlawed in 1961, it still held strong in the 90s - and indeed continues into the present day.

A dowry can be anything - cash, jewellery, utensils. But for many families, rich or poor, it is the condition of a wedding. And this is what, for many, still makes the birth of a son a celebration and the birth of a daughter a financial burden.

Siro Devi, the only midwife of those I interviewed who is still alive, used a vivid physical image to explain this disparity in status.

“A boy is above the ground - higher. A daughter is below - lower. Whether a son feeds or takes care of his parents or not, they all want a boy.”

The preference for sons can be seen in India’s national-level data. Its most recent census, in 2011, recorded a ratio of 943 women to every 1,000 men. This is nevertheless an improvement on the 1990s - in the 1991 census, the ratio was 927/1,000.

By the time I finished filming the midwives’ testimonies in 1996, a small, silent change had begun. The midwives who once carried out these orders had started to resist. 

This change was instigated by Anila Kumari, a social worker who supported women in the villages around Katihar, and was dedicated to addressing the root causes of these killings.

Anila’s approach was simple. She asked the midwives, “Would you do this to your own daughter?”

Her question apparently pierced years of rationalisation and denial. The midwives got some financial help via community groups and gradually the cycle of violence was interrupted.

Siro, speaking to me in 2007, explained the change.

“Now, whoever asks me to kill, I tell them: ‘Look, give me the child, and I’ll take her to Anila Madam.’”

The midwives rescued at least five newborn girls from families who wanted them killed or had already abandoned them.

One child died, but Anila arranged for the other four to be sent to Bihar’s capital, Patna, to an NGO which organised their adoption.

The story could have ended there. But I wanted to know what had become of those girls who were adopted, and where life had taken them.

Anila’s records were meticulous but they had few details about post-adoption.

Working with a BBC World Service team, I got in touch with a woman called Medha Shekar who, back in the 90s, was researching infanticide in Bihar when the babies rescued by Anila and the midwives began arriving at her NGO. Remarkably, Medha was still in touch with a young woman who, she believed, was one of these rescued babies.

Anila told me that she had given all the girls saved by the midwives the prefix “Kosi” before their name, a homage to the Kosi river in Bihar. Medha remembered that Monica had been named with this “Kosi” prefix before her adoption.

The adoption agency would not let us look at Monica’s records, so we can never be sure. But her origins in Patna, her approximate date of birth and the prefix “Kosi” all point to the same conclusion: Monica is, in all probability, one of the five babies rescued by Anila and the midwives.

When I went to meet her at her parents’ home some 2,000km (1,242 miles) away in Pune, she said she felt lucky to have been adopted by a loving family.

“This is my definition of a normal happy life and I am living it,” she said.

Monica knew that she had been adopted from Bihar. But we were able to give her more details about the circumstances of her adoption.

Earlier this year, Monica travelled to Bihar to meet Anila and Siro. 

Monica saw herself as the culmination of years of hard work by Anila and the midwives.

“Someone prepares a lot to do well in an exam. I feel like that. They did the hard work and now they’re so curious to meet the result… So definitely, I would like to meet them.”

Anila wept tears of joy when she met Monica. But Siro’s response felt different.

She sobbed hard, holding Monica close and combing through her hair.

“I took you [to the orphanage] to save your life… My soul is at peace now,” she told her.

But when, a couple of days later, I attempted to press Siro about her reaction, she resisted further scrutiny.

“What happened in the past is in the past,” she said.

But what is not in the past is the prejudice some still hold against baby girls.

Reports of infanticide are now relatively rare, but sex-selective abortion remains common, despite being illegal since 1994.

If one listens to the traditional folk songs sung during childbirth, known as Sohar, in parts of north India, joy is reserved for the birth of a male child. Even in 2024, it is an effort to get local singers to change the lyrics so that the song celebrates the birth of a girl.

While we were filming our documentary, two baby girls were discovered abandoned in Katihar - one in bushes, another at the roadside, just a few hours old. One later died. The other was put up for adoption.

Before Monica left Bihar, she visited this baby in the Special Adoption Centre in Katihar.

She says she was haunted by the realisation that though female infanticide may have been reduced, abandoning baby girls continues.

“This is a cycle… I can see myself there a few years ago, and now again there’s some girl similar to me.”

But there were to be happier similarities too.

The baby has now been adopted by a couple in the north-eastern state of Assam. They have named her Edha, which means happiness.

“We saw her photo, and we were clear - a baby once abandoned cannot be abandoned twice,” says her adoptive father Gaurav, an officer in the Indian air force.

Every few weeks Gaurav sends me a video of Edha's latest antics. I sometimes share them with Monica.

Looking back, the 30 years spent on this story were never just about the past. It was about confronting uncomfortable truths. The past cannot be undone, but it can be transformed.

And in that transformation, there is hope.

[libraford]

When we got married, a friend of ours was just getting into being a professional photographer so he did our wedding for mates rates. Because he was so new he hadn’t yet developed his ‘photographer backbone’ so felt really uncomfortable asking people to do things like get out of the way or telling them where they should stand. My sister, maid of honour and no shrinking violet, did some yelling on his behalf but it shows in some of the posed photos.

He’s very successful now and much better at telling people what he needs from them to get the shots they want but still looks back on his early days when he went out on his own with a shudder. It was very difficult for him to balance the conflict you describe, trying to make sure no one is unhappy with you so you get repeat customers, vs making sure people do what he needs so he can work safely and get the right shots. Once he started getting regulars, he felt more confident in expressing what was needed - he still hates wedding photography though lol

The very first wedding I ever did... was a couple from India. And they did kind of a blended wedding of modern and traditional, kept the celebrations short to only 12 hours. There were three photographers- me, my mentor (who was the official book), and her friend. There was also a video crew and every person had their phones out for the whole ceremony, so there was no shortage of footage.

My mentor had to bow out early due to a medical emergency in her family. So now its just two of us.

Even with everyone having their phones out, the guests knew that if someone had an actual camera, that they should do their best to steer clear of it because we were hired to provide a service. They kept to the sides. One of the guests who brought his own camera was encouraged to shoo people out of the frame because he knew the language better, so we treated him as part of the crew so he can also get all the good shots he wants. (I have taken to calling this the 'Uncle Camera' character and its become a useful technique to identify Uncle Camera and give him a Job.)

But with the confirmation ceremony I was at yesterday, it wasn't a case of 50 people taking pictures of one couple from their seats, it was a case of 50 people taking pictures of 60 individuals from the center aisle.

And I did not have an Uncle Camera to explain to them in Spanish that they needed to leave space for the official photographer or there would be no official group shot.

So someone's head got in the shot.

Oh well.

I got paid for the hour I was there.

[neon11seo]

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