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punkpandapatrixk · 6 months ago

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🎡Cosmic Messages for Workers of Light ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

Those of you who’ve always had a feeling that you were born to do something important; those of you who’ve recently been feeling like you’re being called to something higher than the mundane; YO, this reading has appeared in your Reality now to signal that the lights are green~🥝🥦🥑

Many people have been on different timelines that are now converging as one singular trajectory of where Humanity is heading. It’s a little bit more convoluted than that tho, because we each experience this Game a whole lot differently, too. But essentially, we’re wrapping up karmic cycles and entering a Golden Age of Workers of Light~★

Technically speaking, the essence…the theme…of the New Age of Aquarius is accountability. This is an era of accountability, folks. People can no longer be supported by any kind of cosmic power to perpetuate deceit and the misuse of knowledge.

‘But when knowledge is abused or put to the servility of coining wealth for a few, without respect of the treasury which all inherit, then humanity departs from the machine and all is toil without profit. For the false-hearted who would tear knowledge apart, diminishing the light and shielding its beams from us, will make mechanicals of us all.’ – excerpt from Manifesto of The Guild of Artificers; The Steampunk Tarot

What’s your current timeline? Which trajectory of the future of Humanity are you on? This reading serves as a prelude to what’s going to be revealed more in-depth in the ‘Lion’s Gate Portal to XXX’ PAC~💋

INTELLIGENCE: Mission Mind Control (1979) on Nuclear Vault

TECHNOMAGY: Probability Alteration and Luck (Energetically Programmed Audio) by Sapien Medicine

deck-bottom: XXI The World Rx, Silver Geographer (Francis Drake) & Priestess of Shine

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Pile 1 – You’re Going to Change the World by Making It Innocent Again

ANGEL NUMBERS: variants of 585, 627, 657, 757, 818, 828

the meaning of NOW – 6 of Pentacles Rx

Have you ever had glimpses of imagination, or a sense of knowing, or it’s just a feeling, like you were dropped to Earth by mistake? Perhaps it’s a feeling as if you were a Greek god banished from the realms of the gods and entered Earth as a form of punishment? Or a bit of a feeling like you got scammed and arrived on the wrong Planet? LMAO Why am I thinking of that Bollywood movie called ‘PK’?

The alien kid arrived on a strange Planet: Earth. And Humanity—Indian primarily—befuddles the living shit out of him XD I think you’ve known for quite a while that you’re not from around here. You’ve never really fit in. I think you weren’t treated nicely by most people—could be your own blood ‘family’, could be your schoolmates, teachers, neighbours. Just basically, you’re seen as a bit of a freak.

It’s hard for you to feel a sense of community. No matter what stage of Life you are in, it’s always felt like that. If at the moment of reading this you’re older in age, I think you’re managing a lot better now. You’ve learnt to be OK with your own company because you’re the most smartest and interesting person you could have conversations with. But if you’re comparatively younger, you’re probably still going through the motion, and that’s OK, because it’s just part of the lore building ;P

bridging the future – King of Wands

The simplest truth about your existence is that you aren’t meant to ‘grow up’ in the same sense as most other people do. Growing up is a wonderful thing, of course, we all need to grow up and become smarter and amazinger! But what doesn’t sit right with you is people’s twisted idea of ‘growing up’ is all about. To most lame-ass Humans on this Planet, ‘growing up’ means abandoning the core essence of what makes you, you.

On this Planet, ‘growing up’ means letting go of your innocence and simple kindness in exchange for survival and brutality (in the workplace, I guess). Here on this Planet, ‘growing up’ means burning your passion to ashes; not living Life fuelled by a burning passion. Here, ‘growing up’ means being punished for authenticity and the childlike courage to question authority. Growing up, here, means becoming complicit to evil abuse of power and greed.

How are you supposed to comply to any of that? Don’t you realise how pure your Heart is? Your sense of justice is clear since day one. It’s something you may not be able to express clearly but you know what’s right and wrong on the basis of what’s good and bad for people as….just people…not numbers or statistics or traffic or casualties. ‘People are PEOPLE, dammit!’

you’re going to MAKE IT – 3 of Cups Rx

You’re befuddled? This world is befuddled! If you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, you have it written in your Soul’s blueprint that you’re going to be involved in the politics of the world. Yes, some of you could become politicians or activists, but even those that aren’t interested in any of that, you’re still going to have opinions and perspectives that touch on the subject of Humanity and how psychopath politicians are fucking things up for Humans.

You know what I mean? Some of you could become world players that implement new laws and principles in your society. Some of you will have the power to influence public opinions so that people begin to demand accountability from their corrupt governments. Back to basics, baby. What is Humanity, basically? What does it mean to even be Human living in a Human World, basically? You’ve questioned all of this and you will one day have a platform to extend this musing to a larger audience.

The lights are GREEN now. You’ve experienced so much personal conflict with people who don’t understand your values, all so you would learn to forge connections with people who are just as innocently passionate as you are. That was your training ground, bitch~♥︎ Your personal experiences were a microcosm model of what’s going to sweep out the entire world in the coming decades, if not centuries.

Basically, it's time nations started actually taking care of their own issues before they raid and destroy other nations for resources is what your Soul is understanding.

TIMELINE🔻💛

daydreaming – Gold Magus (Johannes Faustus)

engaging in Reality – Priestess of Innocence

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Pile 2 – You’re Not Confused; This World Is; So You’re Alright

ANGEL NUMBERS: variants of 111, 123, 222, 414, 444, 647

the meaning of NOW – 9 of Cups

Head in the clouds, baby? You’re the type of person who has many dreams and ideas, and it’s like, it’s easy for you to get interested in all kinds of pursuits. But then, it’s also just as easy to lose interest in all of those novelties; it feels like your heart and mind are always being pulled by newer interests or topics. I’m reminded of this meme or whisper that says something like, ‘Not tonight babe. A YouTuber has just posted a 4-hour video about a topic I’ve never heard about before.’

You like to study new things or basically just drown yourself in new hobbies/interests because you’re trying to make sense out of your very existence. I think you’ve felt incredibly confused your entire Life. If not ‘confused’ per se, it still feels like you’re lacking a sense of direction. You don’t really know what’s the purpose of being here on this Planet. You’re weirded out by the fact that you’re not motivated by the same things that others have convinced you to get excited about.

‘Why am I not motivated by these promises and achievements? Damn, I simply can’t be motivated by something as unromantic as that. There’s no Life in any of those pursuits. My God, what should I be interested in for me to motivate myself to make something out of myself? I really don’t know what to pursue in this world. I don’t even know how to live…’ So you continue to daydream but your heart is quite heavy sometimes.

bridging the future – Ace of Cups Rx

Pile 2, you are magic, you know that? Being the way that you are, you aren’t in the wrong for being rather ‘impractical’. If anything, you’re so high-vibrational that you still remember that physical manifestation comes from the dream world first. I think you’d resonate with being a very Feminine person, aenergetically speaking? Maybe you have a strong Moon/Neptune placement in your birth chart as well.

You remember on a Soul level that all dreams can become real as long as you keep on to them. Your being a dreamer who dreams ‘too much’ is not wrong; it is this world that’s too rigid and restrictive. It’s grotesque how society has set up so many rules that limit what a being as divine as you can and can’t do/create. They say the sky’s the limit; in your case, your faith’s the limit.

There are many wonderful things that you want to make manifest but you often tell yourself that you’re dreaming too much or that there’s no way someone like you could ever achieve that. That’s where you’re doing ‘wrong’: the not believing in your own ability to create your dream Life. Remember that successful people usually say that the Life they have now exceeds even their ‘wildest’ dreams.

So dream wild. Dream big. Even if you don’t believe you can exceed your expectations, can’t you still believe that you’ll manifest something very similar?

you’re going to MAKE IT – 9 of Wands Rx

Stop stopping yourself, OK? Stop gaslighting yourself for fuck’s saké. Right now, you need to stop believing that Life’s supposed to be hard work and lived logically. You literally deserve to get paid for just existing. That sounds extra narcissistic but hope you get the idea. This modern society that favours hard work and believes that only after you’ve worked really hard can you then be worthy of a lot of abundance is stupid. This world is confused. People have forgotten the essence of dreaming and living in ease.

Some of you will resonate with being a fairy or an elven soul, and so you believe from the depths of your heart that people should be allowed an easy existence in harmony with nature. Some of you will resonate with being a futuristic alien android being who believes that human lives can be made easy with the right use of technology.

All in all, cosmically speaking, your Soul came into this world to be a ‘lazy’ genius who will switch things up for Humanity so that everybody can have an easier time existing on this Planet. Geniuses are never lazy, bitch. Not in the mind! If wanting things to be more streamlined and easy to do makes a person ‘lazy’ that’s hilarious. So what’s a not-lazy person? A low-IQ idiot who perpetually works hard because they got scammed by capitalism?

TIMELINE🔻💙

daydreaming – Green Magus (John Dee)

engaging in Reality – Priestess of Ambition

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Pile 3 – Illuminate Others’ Paths by Simply Expressing Your Truth

ANGEL NUMBERS: variants of 211, 217, 303, 522, 814, 999

the meaning of NOW – 3 of Swords Rx

Do you know that you’re an energy worker? I almost feel you’re a miracle worker. You’re somebody who has a special power in the way that you express yourself, whether in writing or spoken. It’s not so much what you say or write or do, it’s HOW you say or do or write your truth that moves people’s hearts. You have the power to stir some shit up in people’s aenergetic fields LOL

You have both the power to destroy your enemies and heal those who want to get better in the world. If your power is speech, it’s the aenergy with which you talk that empowers people. Ionno, think JFK, MLK? Or some fascinating YouTubers who make us feel like, ‘Oh this guy/gal is my spirit animal!!!’ It’s their aenergy, right? Same with writing or any other thing that you do. It comes natural to you to create some kind of a ripple in people’s consciousness.

For other people, just tuning in your aenergetic space stirs them. That’s why you experience a lot of extremes. Good-hearted people feel immensely healed, comforted and uplifted in your presence or when they talk/text with you. But the false-hearted ones, they also know there’s something about you that calls out their bullshit even when you’re not ‘saying’ anything. There’s something about you that inspires people to be better! And that’s fucking annoying to narcs and the losers of the world LMAO

bridging the future – 10 of Pentacles Rx

I see that you’re honestly not the kinda person who’s ambitious about changing the world, about influencing the world. Not in that ambitious manner like some activist or whatever. Your Soul is very incredibly superbly soft; you ain’t an activist, you’re an artist; you ain’t a fighter, you a lover, baby~ So I get that you sometimes don’t really know what to do with yourself XD Like there’s this desire to heal the world, but you don’t think of yourself as someone who’s fighter enough or strong enough to do any of that.

WRONG. You’re the kinda entity who’s already doing all that healing stuff by simply being the amazing person that you are. Your aenergy is like a combination of both Pile 1 and 2. The half of you is superbly soft and dreamy and you’re so kind and empathetic; the other half of you is fiercely protective of those who are hurting, and you do a lot to make things better and easier for them—in your own practical, seemingly small ways.

The good news is, you really don’t have to be a fighter if it doesn’t suit you. Basically, you just have to be yourself and express your truth. In whatever way you find most suitable to you. Your power lies in your communication, self-expression, connection. You’re going to be a trend-setter, babe~ A trend-setter of authenticity, yup, ‘real authenticity’, ironically; not ‘fake authentic’ that’s propagated by a lot of narcs on the Internet LOL

you’re going to MAKE IT – 3 of Pentacles

With narcs who are pretending so HARD at being good, you know it’s all skin-deep; it’s all just jargon. And they’re gonna get really good at weaponizing self-love concepts to justify shit behaviour, deadbeat behaviour, toxic tendencies, gaslighting atrocities and all that shit, you know? With you, your VIBRATIONS can’t be faked, let alone emulated. The world needs a role model like you. That’s why you’re going to make it. Your Soul Mission ain’t just about you, babe~

You’re literally going to be the example whom people bear witness for what being authentic is all about. They will watch you and come to their own conclusion what a genuine soul looks like. You’re reminding me of Dr Jordan B Peterson. Yep, that kinda vibe. Be weird all you want, be scandalous all you want, the right people will see that your INTENT has been good all along. And in that sense, the people who CHOOSE to view you badly are the CLOWNS, and they’re gonna be proving that to themselves.

In essence, most people’s idols are all LIARS!!! You’re meant to break that, destroy that, and usher in a new era of influencers/celebs/thought leaders/spiritual teachers/all kinds of public figures that actually operate on Light—real information and real intent—instead of fake-ass jargon that lies to people’s faces with semantics and optics! Your aenergy is insane it’s literally gonna change the world massively, and upon finding this reading, you’re riding on the winds of CHANGE so get fucking READY, bitch~! \`★_★`/

TIMELINE🔻🧡

daydreaming – Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)

engaging in Reality – Priestess of Illumination

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

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kylesvariouslistsandstuff · 10 months ago

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Pixar's ELIO, directed by COCO co-director Adrian Molina, would've opened today... Albeit a much different version of the movie.

The delay from this date to June 2025 meant that the fast food promo deals put in place a while ago couldn't be changed, thus - HOODWINKED TOO style - some of the toys are out now, as seen in the pic above...

Yep, I've heard by now what ELIO has supposedly been going through.

It's a unique Pixar production in that it was delayed by about a year and a half...

... AFTER a teaser trailer and poster for the film were released, following a big info drop on the movie at the fall 2022 D23 Expo...

Not even THE GOOD DINOSAUR, an infamously troubled Pixar production, went through that. That film was delayed before anyone outside of D23 attendees saw any footage from the scrapped version of the film, though renders of the older bigger Arlo and the bipedal version of Spot did leak.

All of this agita for ELIO...

... and I feel fine! Yeah, I'm not really worried about this movie.

It's easy to equate "troubled production" with "oncoming disaster", something that's absolutely gonna fail, an abomination from the get-go.

Yet, TOY STORY 2 and RATATOUILLE exist. Other Pixar films, and plenty of other animated movies, go through some form of hell before the ship is steered away from the cyclone. Sometimes within a year or so from release. The end results are always subjective anyways.

So, I have no idea how ELIO will turn out. If it's a movie *I* myself like, if it's a movie that resonates with the public, yadda yadda yadda.

ELIO, however, does not seem like a GOOD DINOSAUR situation to me. GOOD DINOSAUR not only lost its director (Bob Peterson), but the whole movie was thrown out and the replacement director (Peter Sohn) started over from scratch with a few core elements retained. ELIO seems like it's going to be half the movie we saw in the teaser this past summer, and a lot of new stuff. Sections being reworked, rather than the whole movie being thrown out and Molina & co. starting over. Voice work to be done, especially post-strikes, and they'll need time to animate all the new stuff. Pete Docter isn't the leader John Lasseter was, Lasseter likely would've canned Molina and had another director reimagine the concept/story to his liking.

I think it's cool, if this is all true, that Docter is giving Molina and the filmmakers more time to rework the film. Especially after the marketing campaign has kicked in. With that, it probably should stay in June 2025. I had thought for a bit that it could move up a bit and take MOANA 2's place, because that Thanksgiving release sounds like it's going to be a crunch production, what with Auli'i Cravalho and The Rock signing on *just recently* to reprise their roles nine months before release. I'd delay that to spring 2025, honestly. Disney can afford to miss the Thanksgiving slot this year, they'll be fine. INSIDE OUT 2 and CG LION KING prequel can be their sole animation releases this year, even if the latter won't be billed as such.

As for its box office prospects? Big budget sci-fi animated features, even in a not-COVID world, struggle. Especially space-setting sci-fi animation. TITAN A.E. and TREASURE PLANET, anyone? Only something very low-budget would cut it, but we're talking $200m Pixar movies, not that microbudget CLONE WARS movie. (STAR WARS isn't sci-fi to me, but you get my drift, right?)

Pixar, however, *did* score a box office hit with WALL-E all the way back in 2008. Despite the spacebound adventure and the future Earth setting, the marketing wisely focused on the cute robots in love. That got folks to see it back then, methinks. ELIO will need a similar hook, and it's a summer release as well, so it could be primed for a blockbuster run.

However, most non-sequel animated features play a different game now, in a post-COVID outbreak world: Open tiny, have ludicrous legs. That's fine if your feature cost $90m and you made around $250m at the worldwide box office, but like ELEMENTAL before it, ELIO's probably going to need to make around $500m worldwide to break even in the eyes of the money people - who seem to keep forgetting that animated movies have fantastic longevity beyond their theatrical release. ELEMENTAL had the fun premise and the love story working in its favor after its blah opening weekend (though it was pretty high for a post-outbreak animated opening), ELIO... I don't know what it has at the moment. Will the "kid becomes Earth's ambassador within a massive council of aliens" really get audiences to come flockin' in summer 2025? I do not know, but I hope it does good, for Molina's sake, and so we can be spared the five gazillion "is Pixar circling the drain???" articles...

All I know is, I'm looking forward to it. Space adventure and colorful aliens and stuff, by way of Pixar and their resources.

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doublegoblin · 1 year ago

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Howdy! I want to say first that I hope this doesn't come across as me trying to "Uhm actually," or as a bad faith(ha angels; pun not intended) reading of the text. This was all very well written and engaging! I sincerely am looking to perhaps branch off your topic of the Phyrexians for perhaps a different viewpoint. This is not intended to discredit your writing at all!

So with that out of the way, I'm going to throw my hat into this ring. Just for clarification I'll be mostly(if not entirely) focusing on your section about Atraxa and by extension Phyrexia as a whole, as this is where I have the most diverse thought (also I haven't engaged with Lion King in a while and my assumption is that was the appetizer for the meal).

When we want to look at the Phyrexians as a stand-in for a fascist state I think it would be important to look at it not through the lens of the physical appearance, but rather how phyresis is spread; the glistening oil.

When making this kind of comparison we can take the oil as perhaps more of an allusion to fascist ideology or rhetoric. This will/does simplify the idea of radicalization and how one can fall into it, but please bear with me. It is said that it only takes a single drop of the goo to get the horror ball rolling. Much like how it can take a single idea to get someone going down a pipeline.

It's not an immediate jump from happy little flesh goblin to fire-spewing goblin (not always at least). There are these long stages of infection, all of which serve to shed away at the person. This all culminates with the oil spilling out from the eyes of the infected in black tears, or rather as the "soul" leave them. The concept of souls in Magic is quite the headache inducer but for this example I would argue that the "soul", could be more understood as the "individuality" of the person leaving. While comparing an ideology to a hive-mind has it's hang-ups let us roll with it.

These stages of infection can be swapped out for perhaps level of content that the person engages with? Becoming steadily more and more overtly open of their message. It becoming more and more not just an idea but a part of who they are. This kind of idea also being shown on the physical transformation of a Phyrexian.

To address the elephant in the room real quick, I agree that having the "ugly" bodies being for the bad guys is a trope/short-hand that is bad. Like no way around it. It's a bad move chief. However, as this is tied to the story being told it will need to be included, just to say I don't agree with it's use but it is unfortunately the thing easiest to point to.

To the point of why the Phyrexians were chosen to be defeated by a collection of angels? I would guess because for an audience(of mostly western folks) it is a clear allusion to the idea of "good" triumphing over "evil". I think this is also illustrated by having specifically Atraxa being the one to go through the museum and going ape shit on the statues. Not only is she a "fallen" angel, but she was created when the praetors captured an angel and in an attempt to show unification all (at least the intention was) of them put a piece of themselves in her (curious how the one associated with the color most aligned to individuality abstained). She is not only the Grand Unifier of the multiverse but of New Phyrexia as well. It wouldn't have been as important if some other random Phyrexian did the same.

She is also emblematic of the idea that nobody is safe from the idea of radicalization. Even the most "good" and "pure" can be "corrupted" and have their identity twisted against what they once stood for (see Ajani after completion).

While there is an argument of the idea of the "bad body" being a focal point. I feel that, once again, it is more of a stand-in for the idea of falling into these sorts of ideologies and that to focus entirely on them is a disservice to their literary purpose (not to imply you did, I understand this is calling back to the essay you wrote which focuses on the body).

You start with a "normal" individual, not subscribed to fascist ideology. They then stumble their way into these ideas. They start as something small, something minuscule (I can't think of a small example unfortunately so put you own here lol). Yet this has now opened that person up to going down a pipeline.

Before a certain point though they can be reached, still be brought back out (see the resistance movement and their use of Halo/Goldhex, and Melira). However there is a tipping point where they can't be easily reached or reached at all, they had been "completed".

Unfortunately, as stated above, this kind of change is shown through the body becoming "grotesque" or "monstrous". Being that you really can't tell a person's ideology unless they "show" it.

And these sort of ideas are infectious, they can't spread otherwise. And the sad truth is, nobody is safe from it. Not the most "good", those who are meant to "protect". Family, friends, loved-ones; all are open to this infection. Those seeking to infect are also always trying to develop more and more ways to get to more and more people. Soon enough it can take hold of those with the most power to make change (see planeswalkers). Often going unnoticed within society until the moment they can seize what they want.

I would say that the "good" bodies in this situation are those people who fight against this system, no matter how large and powerful it is. They fight to see them and their loved-ones safe.

There is only so much a card game can do to tell a story. Especially one as complex as radicalization and fascism (not to imply they did a super good job, more to just acknowledge that shortcuts had to be taken). In the end though the phyrexians (fascism or other ideals) are not truly defeated by the "good guys" they had merely been "put somewhere else". Though this has the effect of those affected by them to be cutoff from this echo-chamber, this "hivemind", and a healing process can begin. It is maybe important to note that those who were completed and returned back were not free from "scars".

In the card art, while Ajani is being returned back to "pre-completion" he isn't the exact same as before. He is "scared" with the signs of his past. Not truly returning to his "good" body, but a "better" body.

WOW, that was a lot of words from me. Like I said before I truly hope this doesn't come across as me talking down, or "um ahkctually", or interrogating. I wasn't trying to pick apart your argument. It was very well written and I agree with your points and where you derive them from. I truly hope this isn't seen as a disagreement but more discussion?

Thank you for putting your work forward!

TUMBLR POST EDITOR WON'T LET ME TITLE THIS POST ANYMORE SO I GUESS THIS IS THE TITLE NOW. WEBBED SITE INNIT

So let's say you grew up in the nineties and that The Lion King was an important movie to you. Let's say that the character of Scar - snarling, ambitious, condescending, effeminate Scar - stirred feelings in you which you had no words for as a child. And then let's say, many years later, you're talking about it with a college friend, and you say something like, "oh man, I think Scar was some sort of gay awakening for me," and she fixes you with this level stare and says, "Scar was a fascist. What's the matter with you?"

The immediate feeling is not unlike missing a step: hang on, what's happening, what did I miss? You knew there were goose-stepping hyenas in "Be Prepared," but you didn't think it mattered that much. He's the bad guy, after all, and the movie's just pointing it out. Your friend says it's more than that: the visuals of the song are directly referencing the Nuremberg rallies. They're practically an homage to Riefenstahl. This was your sexual awakening? Is this why you're so into peaked caps and leather, then? Subliminal nazi kink, perhaps?

And then one of your other friends cuts in. "Hold up," he says, "let's think about what Scar actually did in the movie. He organized a group of racialized outcasts and led them against a predatory monarchy. Why are you so keen to defend their hereditary rule? Scar's the good guy here." The conversation immediately descends into a verbal slap fight about who the real bad guy is, whether Scar's regime was actually responsible for the ecological devastation of the Pride Lands, whether the hyenas actually count as "racialized" because James Earl Jones voiced Mufasa after all. Your Catholic friend starts saying some strange and frankly concerning shit about Natural Law. Someone brings The Lion King 2 into it. You leave the conversation feeling a little bit lost and a little bit anxious. What were we even talking about?

INTRODUCING: THE DITCH

There is a way of reading texts which I'm afraid is pervasive, which has as its most classical expression the smug obsession with trivia and minutiae you find in a certain vein of comic book fan. "Who was the first Green Lantern? What was his weakness? Do you even know the Green Lantern Oath?" It eschews the subjective in favor of definitively knowable fact. You can't argue with this guy that, say, Alan Scott shouldn't really count as the first Green Lantern because his whole deal is so radically different from the Hal Jordan/John Stewart/Guy Gardner Corps-era Lanterns, because this guy will simply say "but he's called Green Lantern. Says so right on the cover. Checkmate." This approach to reading a text is fundamentally 1) emotionally detached (there's a reason the joke goes, oh you like X band? name three of their songs - and not, which of their songs means the most to you? which of them came into your life at exactly the right moment to tell you exactly what you needed to hear just then?) and 2) defensive. It's a stance that is designed not to lose arguments. It says so right on the cover. Checkmate.

And then you get the guys who are like "well obviously Bruce Wayne could do far more as a billionaire to solve societal problems by using his tremendous wealth to address systemic issues instead of dressing up as a bat and punching mental patients in the head," and these guys have half a point but they're basically in the same ditch butting heads with the "well, actually" guys, and can we not simply extricate ourselves from the ditch entirely?

So, okay, let's return to our initial example. Scar is portrayed using Nazi iconography - the goose-stepping, the monumentality, the Nuremberg Lichtdom. He is also flamboyant and effete. He unifies and leads a group of downtrodden exiles to overthrow an absolute monarch. He's also a self-serving despot on whose rule Heaven Itself turns its back. You can't reconcile these things from within the ditch - or if you can, the attempt is likely to be ad-hoc supposition and duct tape.

Instead, let's ask ourselves what perspective The Lion King is coming from. What does it say is true about the world? What are its precepts, its axioms?

There is a natural hierarchical order to the world. This is just and righteous and the way of things, and attempts to overthrow this order will be punished severely by the world itself.

Fascism is what happens when evil men attempt to usurp this natural order with the aid of a group or groups of people who refuse to accept their place in the order.

There exists an alternative to defending and adhering to one's place in the natural order - it consists only of selfish spineless apathy.

Manliness is an essential quality of a just ruler. Unmanliness renders a person unfit for rule, and often resentful and dangerous as well.

And isn't that interesting, laid out like that? It renders the entire argument about the movie irrelevant (except for whatever your Catholic friend was on about, since his understanding of the world seems to line up with the above precepts weirdly well.) It's meaningless to argue about whether Scar was a secret hero or a fascist, when the movie doesn't understand fascism and has a damn-near alien view of what good and evil are.

There's always gonna be someone who, having read this far, wants to reply, "so, what? The Lion King is a bad movie and the people who made it were homophobes and also American monarchists, somehow? And anyone who likes it is also some sort of gay-bashing crypto-authoritarian?" To which I have to reply, man, c'mon, get out of the ditch. You're no good to anyone in there. Take my hand. I'm going to pull on three. One... two...

SO PHYREXIA [PAUSE FOR APPLAUSE, GROANS]

We're talking about everyone's favorite ichor-drooling surgery monsters again because there was a bit in my ~*~seminal~*~ essay Transformation, Horror, Eros, Phyrexia which seemed to give a number of readers quite a bit of trouble: namely, the idea that while Phyrexia is textually fascist, their aesthetic is incompatible with real-world fascism, and further, that this aesthetic incompatibility in some way outweighs the ways in which they act like a fascist nation in terms of how we think of them. I'll take responsibility here: I don't think that point is at all clear or well-argued in that essay. What I was trying to articulate was that the text of Magic: the Gathering very much wants Phyrexia to be supremely evil and dangerous fascists, because that makes for effective antagonists, but in the process of constructing that, it's accidentally encoded a whole bunch of fascinating presuppositions that end up working at cross-purposes with its apparent aim. That's... not that much clearer, is it? Hmm. Why don't I just show you what I mean?

Atraxa, Grand Unifier (art by Marta Nael)

In "Beneath Eyes Unblinking," one of the March of the Machine stories by K. Arsenault Rivera, there's a fascinating and I think revealing passage in which Atraxa (big-deal Phyrexianized angel and Elesh Norn's lieutenant) has a run-in with an art museum in New Capenna. The first thing I want to talk about is that, in this passage, Atraxa has no understanding of the concept of "beauty". A great deal of space in such a rushed storyline is devoted to her trying to puzzle out what beauty means and interrogating the minds of her recently-compleated Capennan aesthetes to try and understand it. In the end, she is unable to conceive of beauty except as "wrongness," as anathema.

So my first question is, why doesn't Atraxa have any idea of beauty? This is nonsense, right? We could point to a previous story, "A Garden of Flesh," by Lora Gray, in which Elesh Norn explicitly thinks in terms of beauty, but that's a little bit ditchbound, isn't it? The better argument is to simply look at Phyrexian bodies, at the Phyrexian landscape, all of which looks the way it does on purpose, all of which has been shaped in accordance with the very real aesthetic preferences of Phyrexians. How you could look at the Fair Basilica and not understand that Phyrexians most definitely have an idea of beauty, even if you personally disagree with it, is baffling. This is a lot like the canonical assertion that Phyrexians lack souls, which is both contradicted elsewhere in canon and essentially meaningless, given Magic's unwillingness or inability to articulate what a soul is in its setting, and as with this, it seems the goal is simply to dehumanize Phyrexians, to render them alien, even at the cost of incoherence or internal contradiction.

Atraxa's progress through the museum is fascinating. It evokes the 1937 Nazi exhibit on "degenerate art" in Munich, but not at all cleanly. The first exhibit, which is of representational art, she angrily destroys for being too individualistic (a point of dissonance with the European fascist movements of the 20th century, which formed in direct antagonism to communism.) The second exhibit, filled with abstract paintings and sculptures, she destroys even more angrily for having no conceivable use (this is much more in line with the Nazi idea of "degenerate art", so well done there.) The third exhibit is filled with war trophies and reconstructions from a failed Phyrexian invasion of Capenna many years prior, which she is angriest of all with (and fair enough, I suppose.) But then, after she's done completely trashing the place, she spots a number of angel statues on the cathedral across the plaza, and she goes apeshit. In a fugue of white-hot rage, she pulverizes the angel heads, and here is where I have to ask my second question:

Why angels? If you are trying to invoke fascist attitudes toward art, big statues of angels are precisely the wrong thing for your fascist analogues to hate. Fascists love monumental, heroic representations of superhuman perfection. It's practically their whole aesthetic deal. I understand that we're foreshadowing the imminent defeat of Phyrexia at the hands of legions of angels and a multiversal proliferation of angel juice, but that just leads to the exact same question: why angels? To the best of my knowledge, the Phyrexian weakness to New Capennan angel juice is something invented for this storyline. They have, after all, been happily compleating angels since 1997. We could talk about the in-universe justification for why Halo specifically is so potent, but I don't remember what that justification is, and also don't care. Let's not jump back in the ditch, please. The point is, someone decided that this time, Phyrexia would be defeated by an angelic host, and what does that mean? What is the text trying to say? What are its precepts and axioms?

Let me ask you a question: how many physically disabled angels are there in Magic: the Gathering? How about transsexual angels? How many angels are there, on all of the cards that have ever been printed for Magic: the Gathering, that are even just a bit ugly? Do you get it yet? Or do you need me to spell it out for you?

SPELLING IT OUT FOR YOU

There is a kind of body which is bad. It is bad because it has been significantly altered from its natural state, and it is bad because it is repellent to our aesthetic sensibilities.

The bad kind of body is contagious. It spreads through contact. Sometimes people we love are infected, and then they become the bad kind of body too.

There is a kind of body which is good. It is good because it is pleasing to our aesthetic sensibilities, and it is good because it is unaltered from its (super)natural state.

A happy ending is when all the good bodies destroy or drive into hiding all of the bad bodies. A happy ending is when the bad bodies of the people we love are forcibly returned to being the good kind of body.

Do you get it now?

ENDNOTES

It's worth noting that the ditch is very similar to the white American Evangelical hermeneutics of "the Bible says it. I believe it. That settles it," the defensive chapter-and-verse-or-it-didn't-happen approach to reading a text, what Fred Clark of slacktivist calls "concordance-ism". I don't think that's accidental. We stand underneath centuries of people reading the Bible very poorly - how could that not affect how we read things today? We are participants in history whether we like it or not.

I sincerely hope I haven't come across as condescending in this essay. Close reading is legitimately difficult! They teach college courses on this stuff! And while it is frustrating to have my close readings interrogated by people who... aren't doing that, like. I do get it. I find myself back in the ditch all the time. This stuff is hard. It is also, sorry, crucial if you intend to say something about a text that's worth saying.

I also hope I've communicated clearly here. Magic story is sufficiently incoherent that trying to develop a thesis about it often feels like trying to nail jello to the wall. If anyone has questions, please ask them! And thank you for reading. Next time, we'll probably do the new Eldraine set.

#phyrexia #just a little guy with a keyboard #hopefully this all makes sense #I was running on mental fumes towards the end there

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voreinthehouse · 5 months ago

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HAPPY SPRING 2024: King Consort Duties

Rani laid low at the edge of the meadow, watching quietly and patiently from her spot at the lion in the center. It was the first green season since the time of barren leaves in the Tree of Life, marking a new era for all the resident animals, but especially for her.

The Tree of Life was really quite traditional in its customs - the oldest heir inherited the throne, the second born took over the Night Pride, they preserved magical traditions and remained a place for healing, yada yada yada, except in one single aspect. Females ruled the land. Most other lion prides wouldn’t agree with this idea even today, but the Tree of Life had always been different that way. Females led and healed, males obeyed and protected. It was the way of their land.

Now that she was queen and she’d had a chance to stabilize the queendom, Rani knew it was time to fulfill the next part of her duties; bearing daughters. Not just one daughter to be her heir though, but a whole lot of daughters that she could raise to be strong night pride warriors and to reaffirm alliances with all their neighboring prides, to ensure that the Tree of Life would be protected and its messages and teachings carried down to the next generations. And for this, she needed the help of her husband.

Since his move into the Tree of Life, Kion hadn’t done much around. Sure, he was part of the night pride now which meant protecting the borders, and he was king consort of the land, but really the days that some hostile animal actually arrived to their borders were rare, and he had no experience or training as a ruler which made it impossible for him to undertake any of Rani’s responsibilities, leading to the male lazing around most days.

Not that Rani minded. Actually, she liked it much better that way.

Kion had been a hardworking member of the Lion Guard since he was a cub, he’d barely ever had a chance to really relax and be nothing more than a cub, so Rani encouraged him to take advantage of his free time, leading to the still-teenaged lion to becoming lazy and clumsy and fat. Really fat, and it made everything about him much bigger, especially the reason she’d gotten close to him in the first place - his large cock.

Her grandmother had taught her diligently to choose her mate wisely, to make sure he’d provide the best litters, and after seeing everything Kion was capable of, she was sure he was the best lion for the job.

So, she walked slowly through the meadow, eyeing the pair of fat balls and the thick sheath that rested against the soft grass as the male napped, his growing belly raising and falling with every breath he took. She easily cuddled up to him, nibbling on his soft fur until she came upon the fat ring of muscles that made up her husband’s asshole. Licking her chops, she easily toyed with the orifice, ignoring all complaints from her partner as she excited his body into readiness.

He could have all the reservations about her plans that he wanted, but the King Consort’s duties were impossible to deny. Her desire was his command to fulfill.

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HAPPY SPRING PEOPLEEEEEE

dang the year is going by fast, huh. and yet not fast enough

Yes I forgot to add lion’s scar and the blue paint, too late to add it, imagine its there on his sorry mug

U know, I’ve been reading so many tlk scar stories from different folk on deviantart, im surprised at just in how many of those scar’s main focus is to get a ‘proper’ heir and just basically abusing all his lionesses in the pursuit of this perfect heir (and I say Im surprised about it because in the og movie we never saw any signs of him even trying to have an heir or doing any actual king duties, all we see of him having heirs is kovu in the sequel ((and even then I think we all agree his definitely not scar’s kid otherwise that very much makes him related to Kiara and I doubt that’s what Disney intended)), and in the musical where he has that tiny moment of asking nala to be his queen so she’ll have his babies)

And I said to myself, well if scar’s like this, then why not rani. But about daughters. So this is my hc for tlg after it ended

‘The Tree of Life’s lion population has been very much downgraded to just Rani, Surak, Nirmala and Baliyo after Queen Janna’s death, and their relations with their neighboring kingdoms have suffered from lack of communication and alliances, leaving them defenseless and pretty much alone. Rani’s quick marriage to Kion served to establish her as the righteous and proper queen of the Tree of Life, and as such she must immediately start resolving the issues of her queendom.

Despite her and Kion still being pretty much teenagers (his mane’s barely come in yet), she immediately demands they try out for an heir. Kion, being young and inexperienced but wishing to make her happy reluctantly agrees, saying he can understand why she’d be quick to want to ensure the future of the pride, and she’s soon pregnant with their first litter. Unfortunately for him, Rani’s plans to replenish her pride doesn’t stop at just one litter, or at his feelings’

I might make more entries to this idea, im liking the idea of a morally grey rani the more I think of it

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#loma's jams

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roseposts-stuff · 10 months ago

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hello dear people!!! i ranked series 1 of doctor who a few days ago and decided now it's time for series 2!!! as i said previously, my reviews are like 98% based on Vibes and im also a pretty positive person so it's probably like 90% "!!!! I LOVE THIS!!" lmao. anyway, lets go!!

1. The Girl in the Fireplace - this was great!!! i loved reinette and im ALWAYS ready for timey wimey bullshit, drunk ten gave crowley vibes i lived for that and also im a fan of the random horse go king, and ofc the story overall was rly interesting

2. School Reunion - SARAH JANE SMITH SARAH JANE SMITH!!! need i say more? i LOVE this episode i liked having mickey back and meeting sarah jane and love a tiny bit of doctor angst and like the general Vibe of this episode is so good its one of my comfort episodes i would do ANYTHING for this episode y'all!!!!!!

3. The Idiot's Lantern - listen folks listen i LOVED the boy he was sweet and i loved the story and im always down for humbling bigots i loved rose and 10 sm and the setting was cool and i loved the way it's shot this is also such a comfort episode for me man i love it

4. Fear Her - listen i think this is kinda controversial BUT I LOVE THIS EPISODE its also a comfort episode, i love rose's characterisation and i loved the family it was sweet and i think the importance of the song was beautiful and i liked the idea of drawings coming back to life and i loved the mundane setting sm, also im not a timepetals fan but this episode was so cute man

5. The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit - this story is SO GOOD the side characters are great and like my interpretation of the "satan" is that it's not necessarily like the _satan_ but a creature that is the idea for that like they say in the episode and like to me that's such a great thing, if i try to explain how i think about that, this post will become way too long so i won't, and i loved how 10 really was like i love humans and kinda reminded how everyone is amazing it was great

6. New Earth - I LOVE THIS EPISODE cassandra-rose and cassandra-doctor were great and i loved the story and the hopefulness and happiness of the ending i just love it so much

7. The Christmas Invasion - i rly like the story, it was great having harriet jones back and i loved how much mickey and jackie were in this, i liked the introduction to ten like baby, my son, you silly guy why are you quoting the lion king i absolutely adore you you silly little alien

8. Army of Ghosts/Doomsday - it was great having mickey back and the story is great, it had some funny moments i had a great time, visually i wasn't too much of a fan so that's part of why this is so low, like to me one important thing is the visual aesthetic, the ending was rly sad and i need people to talk more about the doomsday theme it's SO GOOD it's so haunting and beautiful i'm going insane fr

9. Rise of the Cybermen/The Age of Steel - i like this story but tbh i'm not a big fan, somehow the overall Vibe™ is just not slaying for me, like somehow im a huge cyberman hater i'm not sure why, and idk i'm just not the biggest fan of this

10. Tooth and Claw - idk i'm not a huge fan of this episode, it's enjoyable and i like it while watching but overall i'm not a fan of the story, i'm not one for werewolves so maybe that's why, rose's outfit ate tho slay queen i loved it

11. Love & Monsters - even tho this is the last one, i do like it on some level, LINDA was SO ADORABLE and if we had followed them being silly this would 100% be a story i really like and also jackie tyler was great, but i don't like the absorbaloff. i just dont. also the ending 😁 you do what 😁

there we are then!!! here are my opinions:D

#doctor who #dw #doctor who series 2 #rose's doctor who ratings

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felinespooky · 2 years ago

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Ramblings of a madman

So, people are speculating on what or who Sliver is the twisted version of. I’ve seen a lot like Princess Aurora, the sword of truth, Aurora’s blessed gifts, and the last spinning wheel. All are good with more conclusive evidence. But you’re reading a post done by someone who wants to really throw a curveball about this! My hot take is that Sliver is a Twisted version of one of Sleeping Beauty’s offsprings, mainly the Grimm Brothers’ version.

Yes, I can see you rereading that last sentence. I also want to add that maybe Yuu is the other offspring. While Book 7 (Diasomnia) isn’t really available in English to my knowledge, I have read that Sliver in the pre-realize trailer mentioned to Yuu that he feels like he’s met them before. “But that wouldn’t make sense because Yuu comes from another world!” I hear you, but a counterpoint is that if everyone remembers way back in the beginning, you are given a choice of saying “I’m from another world” or “I’m from a different dimension.” While they don’t really have much of an impact besides a slight change in Crowley’s response, I feel like this needs to be brought up. Yes, they can and are basically the same, however I feel like we can twist the perspective on those choices.

To me and my insanity, to come from a different world is more or less that, a different planet entirely. To be from a different dimension, however, would imply that Yuu had been taken through space and possibly even time. I get that a world vs dimension debate shouldn’t even be a thing, but I’ve also been talking nonsense! Now, just about everyone and their mother has gone the “different world” route from the looks of it. Fine and dandy choice, and I’m probably losing some of you here because this is about Sliver and Yuu somehow being siblings-but-not-siblings here. Well, that’s part of the reason I bring this up! Yuu may or may not have some sort of connection to the Diasomnia dorm, mainly Sliver in this case, but we don’t know if it’s true or not. Because them being twins would be quite the twist. Only one gets sent to an alternate dimension because maybe the twisted version of their parents were pretty shitty and saw that only one has magic. Course they are “good guys” and don’t like the idea of a baby’s death on their conscious so boom! Free baby to another set of parents in a completely different dimension where magic just doesn’t exist.

“But why specifically the Grimm version? This is all about Disney!” I hear you cry, and I have to point at Jack for this one. Jack is most likely a twisted version of Kimba, which is essentially a Disney knockoff of the Lion King. Not everything has to be strictly Disney related it seems. And besides, this lets me segway to my next point, which is Yuu is taking care of Grim. It’s not like it’s lost on us on where Grim gets his name. Plus, the Grimm tales are essentially the starting point for a good portion of the stories used in the Disney franchise. I have seen a theory floating around that Grim and Yuu are one and the same, just one’s more of the other’s magic manifested into a being of itself. Again, a twist in and of itself if Yuu was originally born in Twisted Wonderland and most likely had a low magic read compared to Sliver and got yeeted into a magicless place so bad that it knocked the magic baby Yuu would’ve had literally out of them. Which could also explain the whole “ominous” speech about Yuu basically being empty but still able to be summoned to a more magical place.

While twins don’t have to be near carbon copies nor be complete opposite of one another, I do want to point to some of the similarities Yuu and Sliver have. Notes of Yuu’s can be found with these folks. Both are pretty good with animals, though Sliver’s is with the more tame while Yuu is with the wild (Grim). Both can stay calm under pressure, though they have different levels of calmness. Both also have certain looks (technically everyone does but we’re mainly focused on these two) that get pointed out by others. Vil commenting on Sliver’s looks for a film, and a few others commenting on Yuu’s appearance to name a few. I would dare say that both have a heavy sleep-code thing going on, though we know more about Yuu’s POV than Sliver’s.

Sliver does make a comment saying that Yuu could be good with a sword; could be a note that they had some physical similarities that are so minimal no one would make such bold connections like they were related yet Sliver could subconsciously see it. If both were twins of a Princess (or a twisted equivalent that doesn’t have to be royalty per say) that was blessed by the good fairies, I wouldn’t find it hard to believe that they both received those same gifts through blood. Sliver just happens to have more in terms of the gifts, though that’s not to say that Yuu never received them either. Like Yuu’s potential magic, it was more noticeable in one baby than the other. This would follow with the common trope of “twins separated at birth” but instead of the whole separated by miles bit, it’s separated by actual space! Both also get along with the fae pretty well, different reasons but still there.

Anyways, if you read it this far, don’t think about it too much. I feel like I was losing myself here and trying to gather all my braincells on this one shit post. Probably doesn’t help that I’m hella tired but wired at the same time!

Edit: I made this at like 1 in the morning. I feel like I can refine it once I get sleep. X-x

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland Silver #thoery

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demonprincezeldris · 3 years ago

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About your high-school Au post, I've had this idea a while ago. It's like a modern Au but with all 4 races.

In this world, humans are predominant. We find about 60% humans, 15% giants, 15% fairies, 8% goddesses and 2% demons. The last 2 are such small minorities due to centuries of conflicts and wars. Yet in the present, we're in an Era of peace, or as close to that as we can get.

People are mostly indifferent when it comes to giants and fairies as they're known to deal with their own business (for convenience, giants can shrink at will). However, goddesses are often seen as intimidating, somehow admired but also slightly feared as they can manipulate other races, Ludociel style. Demon are also intimidating, but due to their looks and a higher amount of goddesses around to spread distaste, they're seen as wicked and ill intended.

As we know, the best way to carry on peace and acceptance is to incorporate them in the educational system. Therefore, most schools and unis have a rule of not exposing one's race. All students and teachers look human, hiding all distinctive features. It's a perfect demonstration that interracial cooperation and friendship is possible.

Coming out, as in revealing your race, is punishable and putting you at risk of an expulsion. Of course, if it happens against your will, that rule doesn't apply.

In the school/uni we're focusing on, we'll find all 7 sins, most of Liones holy knights, Camelot's folks and others.

For coherence, the only closeted demons here are Meliodas, Zeldris and Gowther.

As for the goddesses, there is Eli, Mael, Tamriel, Sariel, Nanashi, Jena and Zaneri.

Original!Gowther, Goat dad, is a known writer and inspirational figure, working on fighting demon stereotypes and helping marginalized demons.

Sigma is an extremist group of mostly goddesses who still believe in purging the world from all demons. There we find Ludociel, Nerobasta, Jelamet and more.

Due to one of Sigma attacks, Gowther has been revealed as a demon. He's fine, he got help, but it's been hard for him ever since. His girlfriend Nadja knew what he was but it is not a norm for couples to reveal their race (as revenge revealing is a thing). If anything, she's been dealing with even more backlash as she's suspected to be human and she's dating a demon.

This Au was originally Zelthur and Melisabeth but if you like it, feel free to modify the settings.

However Zeldris and Meliodas are revealed, Arthur was overjoyed that his boyfriend is so special and that it feels like he hit a jackpot while Eli needed more time. Originally, only one was discovered, making the other one obvious as well.

King would occasionally drop some "slightly racist but it's just a joke" comments about demons, earning disapproving glares from Elaine. Ban overall doesn't care about anything, Merlin knows too much to be distracted by racism, Escanor is proudly open minded as he both wants to impress Merlin and be prepared in case she's not human, Diane is generally peaceful but can get intimidated. Margaret is introverted but very kind hearted and her adoptive sister Eli has learned from her, even thought she's still a little affected by her own race's believes. Meliodas is a cheerful and energetic guy while Zeldris is more reserved and cares about his etiquette.

Zeldris may be part of the student's council along with Arthur and Eli. They all care greatly about the other students' safety, even if they don't all express it with the same enthusiasm.

Oh wow I love this idea!

Since you said all students hide their race, I'm assuming they have powers or something that makes them stand out as that particular race. Maybe Fairies can heal, or Demons generate their darkness.

Maybe Zeldris' race was revealed when he was trying to protect Arthur or something. Arthur tends to get picked on by the other kids or he's in some type of danger where he has to reveal himself to protect Arthur.

After the incident, Zeldris ran away or didn't come to school the next day, afraid that Arthur would hate him now that he's revealed his race to him. Of course, Arthur doesn't care whatsoever. Like you said, he's so enthusiastic and overjoyed about the fact this his boyfriend was a demon.

Elizabeth, being fed lies from Ludociel about what demons really are like and having found out that her boyfriend is a demon is very startling to her.

I'm so in love this idea! Thank you!

#Zelthur #nnt #Modern AU

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love-takes-work · 4 years ago

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Very Cool Potluck

Did you know that some people are so dedicated to reproducing Steven Universe recipes that they’ll both put cheese puffs in their sushi AND willingly bring durian into their homes?

I will teach you the basics of how to prepare the Cool Kids’ Potluck and also tell you the story of how I got food poisoning.

(Sorry, Lars’ ube roll is not included, because it didn’t make it to the potluck. It is available as a separate recipe, of course.)

See more SU food tutorials!

I decided it was time to do the Cool Kids' POTLUCK!

STEVEN: (holds up Snack Sushi) "Who's feelin' lucky?"

SOUR CREAM: "I brought the soda."

JENNY: "I brought the pizza."

BUCK: "I brought the assorted fruit."

And Sadie brought paper plates to complete the set. Too bad Lars's Ube Roll couldn't join them!

Okay, so we have a four-part meal. Most complicated of course is the sushi! We can assume it is Snack Sushi, which I have made before but didn't really give instructions. Steven explains pretty well but doesn't give you a sushi rice recipe. How about I just tackle this here and show you how?

Recipe 1: SNACK SUSHI

Ingredients:

11 1/2 ounces sushi rice

1 1/2 cups cold water

4 tablespoons rice vinegar

3 tablespoons sugar

1 teaspoon salt

1 package nori (seaweed sheets)

1 avocado

1 bag cheese puffs

Mayonnaise

Hot sauce

First, sushi rice is made a special way. I am no expert, but the way I do it has worked fine for sushi in the past. First you measure out your 11.5 ounces of rice and put it in a sieve, then wash thoroughly with tap water.

Put it in the pan you will cook it in, pour the 1.5 cups of cold water on, and let sit WITHOUT COOKING for 30 minutes.

When the soak time is up, turn on high and boil. As soon as it hits boil, turn to low, cover, and cook 15 minutes. Then turn off the heat and let steam in the pan for 10 more minutes. You now have fluffable, tasty, sticky steamed rice!

Next, make your vinegar concoction. Combine the vinegar, the sugar, and the salt in a small dish. Microwave it to dissolve the sugar. I did this in a few 20-second bursts. It smells strongly but I love that smell. Make sure when you stir it, there's no sugar on the bottom! It must be dissolved.

Pour the concoction over the hot rice and stir it in. You are ready to work with it!

From there, it is as Steven shows us in "Cooking With Lion."

• Put nori on a rolling mat, rough side up

• Spread sushi rice on the nori thinly

• Halve the avocado, remove pit, cut in slices and rub a spoon around the avocado flesh to dislodge it

• Place the avocado slices in a line on the rice

• Place a line of cheese puffs in a line next to the avocado

• Roll compactly, tucking as necessary to get it into roll shape

• Cut!

You'll also need to make "spicy mayo" for the garnish. Steven uses hot sauce and mayonnaise. Mix together and squirt neatly onto the top of each roll.

"Who's feelin' lucky?!"

And that's the recipe!

Tip:

Use rice shortly after cooking. Refrigerate it if you will not be eating it soon after. Guess who got food poisoning from eating old rice because of this? CAN YOU GUESS?? 🤢

Recipe 2: PIZZA

So I've made pizza from scratch half a dozen times already for this show. I'm not gonna do it again. (Here's my personal Fish Stew Pizza recipe.)

Jenny simply brings pizza from work! So I decided to go the easy route and purchase a commercial pizza this time.

We never actually see the pizza eaten. I will assume it's the default pepperoni pizza and add veggie pepperoni to mine.

Baking in the oven per box directions as I figure out pizza boxes!!

Jenny's got four dang boxes of pizza on that table. I'm sorry, but I will not be preparing four pizzas. I live by myself and am not actually having a real potluck here. I will use comic book boxes to provide the illusion of many pizzas even though I am only cooking one. Shhhhh.

I actually used paper cutouts and markers to design my own Fish Stew Pizza box!!

Done! Next!

Recipe 3: SODA

Another recipe where I don't really make anything. I am just dressing up a bottle of Diet Coke.

But at least I made it look like the soda Sour Cream brought (termed "So-Duh").

Recipe 4: ASSORTED FRUIT

Oh god.

Buck, you clown. 🤡🤡 You went and bought various pokey-skinned fruits and forced me to BRING A DURIAN INTO MY HOME.

Folks, do you have any idea what durian is?

Let's just say it's known as the King of Fruits and it is SMELLY. You can't look up anything about durian online without related news stories discussing areas where durian is BANNED, neighbors complaining if you bring durian home, and tips on getting the smell off your hands and out of your breath.

I've bought frozen durian before to make Durian Juice Boxes. It was bad enough frozen. But then I had to go buy a FRESH STANK MACHINE at the Asian Market.

The things I do for this friggin show

So we have pineapple.

We have dragonfruit.

And we have &%#!%@ durian.

Durian! People! Do you have any idea what my house smells like!!! And they put it in a bag like that because you can't pick it up without GETTING STABBED! god what am i doing

Anyway.

There, you happy?

Here is my beautiful POTLUCK.

Add paper plates because Sadie brought them and now Sour Cream is thrilled he doesn't have to do the dishes.

Also, I'm sure it wouldn't be all that much fun if you didn't get a quick lesson on how to eat the weird fruits, even though the Cool Kids did not cut into them. Right?

So after I recovered from food poisoning from that rice, I put down a plastic tablecloth on my outdoor porch table, gathered an assortment of knives and plates, grabbed some gloves, and prepared these fruits for eating.

Dragonfruit:

Cut in half. Cut further in quarters and eighths. Peel the fruit out of the husk and store.

Verdict: I don't like dragonfruit. It tasted like weird, hurty watery kiwi. Maybe you should know I'm allergic to kiwi. This is probably related. I shouldn't eat this.

Pineapple:

Cut the top and bottom off and discard (including the bush at the top). Slice the remainder completely in half. Cut the core out--you shouldn't eat it. Then slice each half and slice again into manageable strips. Cut lines in the fruit and cut them off into a storage container.

Verdict: I am allergic to pineapple so I didn't try it, but it smelled amazing. I saved it for my friend.

Durian:

All right, stank fruit, here we go.

Cut the stem off and flip the durian to stand on the top where you cut the stem off. Use pot holders to manipulate because otherwise IT WILL CUT YOU. Examine the durian's shape and see if you can figure out based on its bulges where the huge scary pods are inside. Make a cut through the very tough husk and pull it apart with your hands.

Pods will emerge. They are soft and delicate, so if you hold them too hard they'll break. Each contains HUGE seeds. Take the seeds out before eating. Go around the rest of the durian and get all the pods out. It's a scavenger hunt! Store.

Verdict: The smell is literally not any worse when you open it. It is a very thick, pervasive smell but to me it didn't smell like a rotting corpse or poop or anything.

But then I ate a little bit and the aftertaste was really dark and musty. Dip a butt in tropical fruit syrup. It was pretty vile. I swallowed it though, and my mouth was Very Unhappy. I do not like durian.

I guess I'm 0 for 3. My sushi made me sick because I left the rice out for hours, I can't eat any of my fruit, and I reused the pizza to make a damn Pizza Steve.

But at least my life is interesting while it's being a disaster, huh?

At least I can still drink my So-Duh.

See more SU food tutorials!

#steven universe #food #the good lars #potluck #the cool kids #myblog

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dmsden · 4 years ago

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Silent and Secret - Personal Plot for Svirfneblin

Hullo, Gentle Readers. In this month’s Personal Plot article, we’re going to look at one of the most enigmatic and mysterious of possible PC choices - the Deep Gnome, a.k.a. the Svirfneblin. This is another race from the Elemental Evil Player’s Companion (EEPC), so, if you need a copy, you can find it for free at https://media.dnd.wizards.com/EE-Players-Companion_0_0.pdf

Even though they’re a peculiar bunch, the Svirfneblin have been around since waaaay back in a day. To my understanding, they first appeared in the module D1 - Descent into the Depths of the Earth, one of the earliest adventure modules released for D&D. They had a bigger presence in its follow-up, D2 Shrine of the Kuo-Toa, where the PCs had a chance to bargain with a group of Deep Gnomes to get their aid against some common foes. They finally got added to D&D’s “Official” monsters via the 1E Fiend Folio. One of the only Svirfneblin we ever get to meet by name in D&D’s history is Belwar Dissengulp, friend to Drizzt Do’Urden, who first appears in R.A. Salvatore’s Starless Night.

When thinking of personal plot for these deep folks, one has to consider their unusual origin. Svirfneblin are not, by nature, a surface-dwelling people. They don’t possess a typical gnome’s wanderlust or eagerness for adventure. So why is this deep gnome going on adventures, anyway? If I had a player who wanted to be a svirfneblin character, that would be my first question. The EEPC suggests that some svirfneblin leave the Underdark in order to learn more about the surface world, scout it out, spy on the surface dwellers, etc. Is this what your player’s PC is up to, or is there something else? Is there a threat in the Underdark they’re fleeing from, or seeking help to defeat? If so, this could make for an excellent story arc in your campaign.

Imagine that the Svirfneblin’s village has been attacked by Drow. Perhaps most of their people were enslaved, but the PC thinks they were wiped out. At some point, they meet another Svirfneblin from their village, who is on the surface, looking for help to defeat the threat. It could make for a very Lion King moment where the NPC tries to convince the PC that they *must* go back...if the player has been roleplaying their deep gnome as being terrified of the Drow that destroyed their home, it could lead to some great character moments.

Another reason the PC might be out of the Underdark is exile. If the Svirfneblin is in exile from their people, this would be worth a discussion with the player. What did they do? Was it a just exile? Were they framed? Is the PC trying to prove their innocence? Depending on the answers, this could be an excellent source of story. If they were innocent and framed, then the story could be about the PC trying to prove their innocence. If they were guilty, the story could be about the PC trying to redeem themselves. Either way, what happens if something threatens their lost home. Will the PC defy the threat of death to return and save the place that rejected them? Tons of story potential there.

If the PC is a scout, there could be a lot of fun in sort of “fish out of water” personal plot. Deep gnomes are wary and taciturn, but their surface cousins are anything but. Imagine a deep gnome meeting a jovial town of surface gnomes. How will they react to a gnome community embracing them fully and completely? Would the surface gnomes try and offer extra love and attention, thinking they need to win over their deep-dwelling cousin? And will that push the deep gnome further away? I can especially imagine this being fun if there’s a surface gnome PC in the group along with the deep gnome. Playing up the differences between them could lead to some fun story beats with the two characters.

At some point, no matter what reason the Deep Gnome PC is out in the surface world, you should have the campaign spend some time in the Underdark. This should be a chance for the Svirfneblin PC to shine, and for the DM to give info to this player to share with the other PCs. You could prepare a little Underdark primer for them, with info on common fungi, dangers, and the like, and let them disseminate info to the others as they recognize things. Like, if you describe towering white fungi with reddish coloration along the gills, they might look at the primer and say, “Oh, we’re in luck! My people call these Breadcaps. The gills are delicious when roasted. Watch out for smaller clusters of purple ones, though. Those are called Deathsleep, and they often grow close to these.”

If your player shows interest in taking the Svirfneblin Magic feat from the EEPC, it’s a good way to add some story flavor into the game. It seems to me that they should learn those spells from someone. You could have them meet another wandering Svirfneblin, but the magic could also come from another entity, perhaps one tied to Elemental Earth, which Svirfneblin have some links to. Imagine a bargaining Xorn, or an Earth Elemental in need of aid. In return for helping, they teach new magic to the PC, giving them a cool reason to have the feat that they want.

Speaking of the Svirfneblin link to Elemental Earth, it’s worth mentioning that, in earlier editions, Svirfneblin communities could summon an earth elemental to aid them. It might be that the focus of this was a Stone of Controlling Earth Elementals. If this had been taken from the community, its recovery could be another reason the Deep Gnome PC was out of the Underdark. Alternately, maybe they’d heard of such a magic item and wanted to recover it for their people.

I hope this article has given you some ideas for a potential Deep Gnome PC’s personal plot. Next month, we’ll be back to the backgrounds from the Player’s Handbook, exploring plot for the Noble background. Until then, may all your 20s be natural.

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autumnslance · 4 years ago

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Character breakdown, hard mode: Anduin Wrynn

Give me a character and I’ll break them down:

Only "hard mode" is cuz I haven't played WoW in like 3 and a half years :p

How I feel about this character:

My King, my Young Lion, my Shining Light. Anduin's my boy; we watched him grow up, deal with weird magical nonsense and political machinations that left his father a mess. Watched him decide to follow the Light instead of a warrior's path, stand up to his dad, forgive his dad, try to stand up to/help Garrosh and nearly get killed for it--and then tried to help the man again anyway.

He came into his crown in the worst way possible, though he always expected it would be this way, with the world's greatest warrior for a father, a king who led his people from the front lines. I loved how complicated and terrible and then how good and strong their relationship ended up once they came out the other side of Varian's long-held prejudices and magical mental damage.

Anduin is a battle priest, but a man of peace. He is an idealist in a cynical world trapped in cycles of violence, and he never stops trying to find ways to break those cycles.

He is not his father. He is not his grandfather. He is Anduin, his own man, his own king. There's a lot of people who needed time to realize that--including himself. He's getting there.

Blizzard is going to do terrible things to him and I don't want to see it so he's going to continue to live in my brain as my young king and everything is fine. I'll eyeroll at their story choices later.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Sorta Tess but in a QPR way. Wrathion in some ways. If I met Taelia maybe, as I have a suspicion there's plot ideas for that anyway.

Either way, he's likely gonna need to wed just for an heir of the Wrynn bloodline or some nonsense. Genn's already made noises about it.

Assuming Anduin survives Shadowlands, anyway.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I like the student-teacher relationship with Velen. His aunt-nephew relationships with Jaina and Valeera. His nascent almost-friendship with Baine that keeps getting sidetracked due to their roles as leaders of frenemy factions.

The above romantic relationships also all work as platonic friendships cuz Light knows the boy just needs friends at all. Not advisors. Not retainers. Just, people his age to pal with.

He's always been so lonely.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

I dunno; I don't know or care about the popular and unpopular opinions at this point.

Though I do think folks are going to have to make peace with the disappointment of Christie Golden stating Anduin's straight and he and Wrathion are just friends, and Blizzard's likely gonna go with that. I expected some kind of Word of God on it and am not surprised despite the advent of FairShaw. But hey, we've always got fanfic.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

That the writers took his chronic pain and disabilities from the Bell incident more seriously and consistently. He had every bone in his body broken at once. I think the most we've gotten is some mention in the novels that his connection to the Light makes the pain wax and wane depending on various circumstances, like a magical barometer. Also depends who's doing the writing.

He shouldn't be wearing full plate and wielding Dad's sword in combat; he's a priest, not Varian 2.0, nor a paladin/"Arthas but if he was a Hero". Their own dang fault for making more than half of the Alliance leaders also religious leaders, which could be a cool angle and keep that council different from the Horde's but the faiths of the various races are just window dressing and not actually anything taken seriously or as integral to the world building of those cultures outside of distinct aesthetics.

That the writers had properly set up the Trials of the High King for Varian instead of giving us a couple lackluster scenarios, suddenly he's the leader and then...Anduin inherits High King of the Alliance when Dad dies? Anduin needs to come into his own as the Alliance's primary leader, not just the default human choice; let another leader shine for a bit while the kid gets his life together. But that would mean Blizzard would have to treat Gnomes and Dwarves like people instead of punchlines, and not have the women leaders go crazy bitchmode and then forgotten about, and the old men would have to stop trying to tell Anduin what they think he should do to manage things themselves.

#World of Warcraft #Anduin Wrynn #Lyn Prompts #I love the Wrynns #For the Alliance

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nerdythebard · 4 years ago

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#6: Anhur, Slayer of Enemies

Gods and Goddesses!

This time, we journey to the land of Egypt. The realm of scorching deserts, mysterious magic, and ancient kings. And on this journey, we're protected by Anhur. Sometimes also known as Onuris or Han-her, this son of Ra is the personification of elite royal warriors. Master of tactics and spear, Anhur is a cunning and deadly foe to anyone foolish enough to disturb peace in Egypt.

Next Time: WHO LET THE DOG OUT!? (from his coffin)

Okay, with the mandatory reference done, we now get to think about what we need from Anhur:

Spears for Days: Anhur's spear is able to pin enemies to walls and structure, and his Ultimate hurls a volley of spears all around. We need to be of almost equal spear mastery to Achilles... except we use ours to hunt.

Sand Manipulation: Anhur can create obelisks with swirling sand vortexes, which slow any enemies that come in contact with it.

Not-so-Cowardly Lion: Seems obvious, we're a lion god (yes, I know Ancient Egyptians didn't believe their gods have animal heads, shush) and we're one of the best hunters and warriors of the Egyptian pantheon.

---

Starting with Anhur's race, we're lucky Wizards of the Coast provided us this time with a clear and canon solution. Anhur is a Leonin, this lion-folk race gets +2 Constitution and +1 Strength, 60 feet of Darkvision, and slightly faster than average walking speed of 35 feet. We know Common and Leonin languages, and we are equipped with natural weapons – our Claws, which let us make an unarmed strike that deals [1d4 + our Constitution modifier] slashing damage. We also have Daunting Roar, which lets us unleash a mighty roar as a bonus action once per short or long rest.

Creatures of our choosing within 10 feet of us must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw (DC: 8 + our proficiency + our Constitution modifier) or be frightened of us until the end of our next turn (or 6 seconds, for out-of-combat use). We also have Hunter's Instincts, which lets us pick two skills from a list; let's go for Perception and Intimidation.

For Anhur's background, we're gonna modify the City Watch option a little bit: we're going to keep the proficiencies in Athletics and Insight (along with two languages of our choice), but we're shall swap out the Watcher's Eye feature for Fearsome Reputation from Guildmaster's Guide to Ravnica. Basically, we are known for being ruthless and scary, and the NPCs will think twice before trying to provoke us. We can also get away with minor criminal offences.

ABILITY SCORES

We'll start with Dexterity since we're going to need it for our weapon. Constitution is next, always good to have a solid Hit Point base. We need Wisdom to follow, as we're a competent tactician and hunter (and also for multi-class later... spoilers).

Strength is next, as our weapon - the spear - is not a finesse one, we need this for basic attacks. We continue with Intelligence, and we'll dump Charisma.

CLASS

Level 1 - Fighter: We'll start with the classic warrior. We start with a d10 Hit Dice and [10 + Constitution modifier] Hit Points. We gain proficiency in light armour, medium armour, heavy armour, shields, simple weapons, and martial weapons. For Anhur, I'd choose a studded leather armour (AC: 12 + DEX) and, of course, we gotta go with a spear. Our saving throws proficiencies are Strength and Constitution, and we get to pick two class skills: let's go for Acrobatics and Survival.

This is also where we select our Fighting Style, and for Anhur it's crucial to get good with the spear, so we'll choose Thrown Weapon Fighting. Because ranged weapons and thrown weapons are two different things, we need some boost to our spear (who uses Strength for its damage and attack rolls) - with this, we get a +2 to the damage roll of our spear if we throw it.

We also get a quick healing option with Second Wind. Once per short or long rest, we can use a bonus action to heal [1d10 + our Fighter level] Hit Points.

Level 2 - Fighter: Here, we get Action Surge, which lets us take another Action doing our turn once per short or long rest. This effectively lets us attack twice in crucial moments.

Level 3 - Fighter: We pick our Martial Archetype, and it's going to come off as a surprise to some of you because we're going Eldritch Knight with this one!

With this, we get access to the Weapon Bond feature. This makes us and our spear practically inseparable; we cannot be disarmed if we're conscious and not incapacitated, and if we throw our weapon (or lose it) and it is still on the same Plane as we are, we can use our bonus action to teleport it to our hand.

Eldritch Knights also get some Spellcasting ability. Intelligence is our casting ability and the Save DC is [8 + proficiency bonus + Intelligence modifier]. We start with two cantrips:

Sword Burst creates a circle of blades (or spears :D) around us, forcing all creatures within 5 feet of us to make a Dexterity saving throw or take 1d6 force damage (damage increases when we level up).

Gust lets us unleash a puff of wind to either push a creature away, move an object weighing 5 pounds or less up to 10 feet or create a sensory effect like howling of the wind or closing the shutters/doors.

We also get three 1st-level spells (with two spell slots), two of which must be either abjuration or evocation type:

Jump triples the jump distance of any creature we touch, for 1 minute. In D&D there is a Long Jump – after 10 feet of running start we can cover a number of feet equal to our Strength score (NOT modifier) – and a High Jump, which is simply [3 + Strength modifier] feet of jumping up in the air.

Magic Missile creates up to three magical darts (or mini-spears :D) that always hit the selected target. Each dart deals 1d4 + 1 force damage and we can choose to target three separate creatures.

Shield is a reaction spell. If we're being attacked and it's a hit, we can add a +5 bonus to our AC until the end of our next turn.

Level 4 - Fighter: Time for the first Ability Score Improvement of this build! We increase our Strength and Dexterity with this one.

We get another spell slot, and we can pick another 1st-level spell: Earth Tremor causes the ground to shake. Each creature in 10 feet radius around us must make a Dexterity saving throw or take 1d6 bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone.

Level 5 - Ranger: Time to develop our hunting skills, by multi-classing into Ranger. I was considering playing around with the Spell-less variant of the class from Unearthed Arcana: Modifying Classes, but let's stick to the Revised class for now.

We still have the d10 Hit Dice, and we get to pick one Ranger skill to be proficient in; let's go for Investigation. We start with a Favoured Enemy, which if you've seen my Ah Muzen Cab build means we once again invoke the power of Fantasy Racism™ to be more efficient against a certain type of creatures (beasts, fey, humanoids, monstrosities, or undead). Just pick the type that fits your campaign the most to get a +2 bonus to damage against it and an advantage to Survival checks when tracking the chosen type.

We are also a Natural Explorer, which gives benefits to us and our party. For us:

We ignore the effects of difficult terrain;

We have an advantage on initiative rolls;

On our first turn during combat, we have an advantage on an attack against a creature that hadn't attacked yet.

Meanwhile, while travelling for 1 hour or more:

Difficult terrain doesn't slow the group down;

The group can't become lost, unless by means of magic;

The group cannot be surprised/ambushed;

If we're travelling alone, we can move stealthily at a normal pace;

We find twice as much food and water while foraging;

When tracking creatures, we learn their size, exact number, and how long ago they passed through the area we're in now.

Level 6 - Ranger: This is where Rangers get their Spellcasting ability. We gotta manage two of those now, as the Rangers' casting ability is Wisdom. Rangers don't learn cantrips, we have two 1-st level spell slots, and we learn two 1-st level spells:

Ensnaring Strike is a bonus action that causes vines and weeds (or, in our case, perhaps a vortex of shifting sands) to wrap around the target if we manage to successfully hit it with our weapon attack. The target must make a Strength saving throw or be restrained until the spell ends (1 minute, concentration). While restrained, the target also receives 1d6 piercing damage at the start of each of its turns.

Hunter's Mark is a bonus action, designating one target as your prey. For the spell's duration (1 hour, concentration), we add extra 1d6 damage to the target if we hit them with our weapon attack, and we have an advantage on Perception and Survival checks related to tracking the marked target. If the target dies before the spell ends, we can use our bonus action on the next turn to mark a new target.

We also get to pick a second Fighting Style (yes, they stack if we multi-class). Defence style is nice and simple, it gives us a +1 to our AC.

Level 7 - Ranger: We get Primeval Awareness, which lets us communicate simple ideas with non-hostile beasts, and read their mood and intent. They are not under our control, so we might still need to roll Persuasion or Intimidation (and face consequences), but because of this, encountering wild animals doesn't instantly result in a fight. We can also spend 1 minute in concentration and determine if our Favoured Enemy creature type is within 5 miles of us. If they are, we learn their numbers, distance from us, and general direction.

Three levels into the Ranger class, we get to pick our Ranger Conclave. For Anhur, we're going to pick the Hunter Conclave (duh). Our starting feature is Hunter's Prey, which lets us pick one of three benefits; let's go for Colossus Slayer – once per turn, we can add extra 1d8 damage to a successful weapon attack if our target is already injured ("below their Maximum Hit Points").

We also get another spell: Cure Wounds is a good healing option, letting a creature we touch (or ourselves) regaining [1d8 + our spellcasting ability] Hit Points, with the number increasing by 1d8 if we use higher spell slots.

Level 8 - Ranger: Time for another ASI! This time, let's boost our spellcasting abilities by putting points in Wisdom and Intelligence. We don't learn new spells at this level.

Level 9 - Ranger: Our Conclave gives us some more attacking options with Extra Attack. We can now attack twice instead of once whenever we choose to attack on our turn. In practice, this means we can combine it with the Fighter's Action Surge to attack one enemy four times.

We also unlock 2nd-level spell slots and get to pick another spell: with Spike Growth we can select a 20-foot-radius area within 150 feet of us and transform it into spikes (or perhaps spiky, sharpened sand? :D). When a creature moves into or through the area, they take 2d4 piercing damage for every 5 feet they move.

Level 10 - Ranger: Halfway through the build and we get Greater Favoured Enemy, which upgrades the creatures we're more efficient against into one of the following: aberrations, celestials, constructs, dragons, fiends, or giants. Again, tailor your choice to the overall campaign theme (if you're playing Horde of the Dragon Queen, it'd be pointless to pick 'giants', wouldn't it?)

Level 11 - Ranger: At this level we get another subclass upgrade. With Defensive Tactics we get to pick one of three options to get us some better protections. Multiattack Defence gives us a +4 to our AC, when we're hit and for all subsequent attacks done by that enemy for the rest of the turn. Many enemies use multiattack, so it's good to be prepared for that.

For this level's spell, Magic Weapon transforms our non-magical weapon into a magical one for up to 1 hour (concentration). Until the spell ends, that weapon has a +1 to both attack and damage rolls, and counts as magical for the purpose of overcoming resistances. The bonus increases if we use higher-level spell slots.

Level 12 - Ranger: Time for ASI! Let's tend to some of our weak spots: Intelligence and Charisma.

We also get the Fleet of Foot feature. We can now use the Dash option as a bonus action, which means if we really need to book it, we can now move 70 feet on our turn (105 if the DM agrees to utilize Dash as both action and bonus action - the wording is can not must ;D)

Level 13 - Ranger: At this level we get... well, nothing. Except access to 3rd-level spells, that is. And we shall take Conjure Barrage for this one; it lets us use a piece of ammunition (or a thrown weapon) and multiply it in a 60-foot cone. Each creature within the cone must make a Dexterity saving throw or suffer 3d8 points of damage (type of which is determined by the ammunition/weapon used) and half as much on a successful save.

Level 14 - Ranger: We get the Hide in Plain Sight feature, which makes our sneaky hunter lion extra sneaky. When we're hiding on our turn, we can opt to sacrifice our movement this round to impose a penalty (-10 to Perception checks) on enemies that search for us. If we move or fall prone (no matter if we want to, or are forced), we loose the benefit. Otherwise, we can keep using it indefinitely.

Level 15 - Ranger: Here, we get another subclass upgrade. Multiattack gives us an option to go against multiple foes at once. If you have a ranged weapon in your build, pick Volley, but here we'll go for Whirlwind Attack – it lets us make a melee attack against any number of creatures within 5 feet of us (we roll for each attack and damage).

We get another 3rd-level spell in our repertoire: Protection from Energy lasts for 1 hour (concentration) and grants us resistance to one of the following damage types: acid, cold, fire, lightning, or thunder.

Level 16 - Ranger: Another ASI! Time to scrape those high-levels of ability, so let's get a +2 to our Dexterity.

Level 17 - Ranger: Once again, we get no class features, just access to 4th-level spells. Freedom of Movement protects us from effects that would normally hinder our... well, movement. For 1 hour we (or any willing creature we touch) are immune to difficult terrain and spells that would cause us to lose our speed (such as Haste), as well as paralysis and being restrained. Nothing can stop the hunter from chasing its prey. We can also spend 5 feet of movement to escape non-magical restraints, such as shackles or ropes.

Level 18 - Ranger: Here, we learn how to Vanish. We can use the Hide action as a bonus action from now own, and we cannot be tracked by non-magical means, unless we decide to leave trail.

Level 19 - Ranger: We get our last subclass upgrade. Superior Hunter's Defence gives us a choice to enhance our defences.

Not necessarily, T'Challa...

We will, however, get Evasion, as it's too good not to take. If we're forced to make a Dexterity saving throw, which results in taking half-damage on a successful one (such as Fireball), we instead take no damage.

And for our final spell of this build, Stoneskin gives us resistance to non-magical piercing, bludgeoning, and slashing damage for 1 hour (concentration).

Level 20 - Ranger: Our capstone is... an ASI? Apparently, so let's bump up our Strength by 2 points.

---

A'right, that is Anhur. Let's see what we have:

Well, we are a very nimble, spear-throwing lion. With a +4 to our Initiative, we are almost guaranteed to be somewhere in the beginning of a fight. With an average of 184 Hit Points and 17 AC at level 20, we can take some damage. We also have a nice combat-related abilities with two 16s and one 18.

Charisma is, unfortunately, our lowest and most hindering ability. With that, we might be in trouble when facing such spells as Banishment, Zone of Truth, involuntary Plane Shift, or trying to escape the Forcecage.

---

Anyway, I hoped you enjoy this hunt with Anhur, and I'll see you in the next one!

- Nerdy out!

#anhur #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #character building #leonin #fighter #eldritch knight #ranger #hunter

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dany-is-my-queen · 4 years ago

Text

Born To Be Yours | Part X

Sansa Stark x Fem! Baratheon! Reader (Daenerys Targaryen x Fem! Baratheon! Reader eventually)

Season 1-8

Word Count: 3,387

Note: This is the end of S2! Thank you for reading <3

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

“Are you out of your mind?” Cersei peevishly protested. You heavily sighed. “You just want to prove yourself, and impress that northerner friend of yours-“ You cut her off.

“I don’t need to prove anything.” She rolled her eyes.

“So what do you want to earn from it? You’ll stay in the Red Keep with the other highborn ladies. End of this conversation.” You pressed your lips, not pushing harder cause the result would be the same. If you are in the same place Sansa is when this starts then you can keep an eye on her in case things go sideways for your brother’s army.

You stormed out of her chambers. Cersei might not hold the same affection she does for your brothers and sister but she doesn’t want you to die, in her own strange way she cares, not that she knows how to show it.

The bells rang, the troops were ready, Joffrey had the stupid idea of attacking the Starks now that they were distracted. He came to his senses thanks to you, he finally kind of admitted you are were right. And that that wasn’t a prudent decision.

Truth be told, you were afraid, afraid for your family safety, this is war, nothing less, you were always so self-confident, you believed the good would persevere, the strongest and largest forces would win, the smartest. You can be so wrong about that fact... Tonight a lot of people will die fighting for his own King, and just because your brother is a bastard. You might as well be one too, but you are not, you are Y/N Baratheon.

The Throne Room was lit by great flaming braziers. “I see you changed your mind.” Tyrion asserted.

“My mother is very convincing.” You jested. “Actually, I pondered it through, Sansa needs me, she’d be devastated if some plucky soldier manages to drive an ax through my heart.”

“You can’t die before confessing your feelings to your lady.” He playfully remarked. She and Shae arrived, they slightly bowed.

“Lady Sansa and Sheila.” He said in purpose.

“Shae.” She corrected him.

“Shae, yes.”

“What are you doing here?” You questioned half surprised, you didn’t expect to see her until you were on the Keep.

“King Joffrey sent me to see him off, my Princess, my Lord. And you? I thought-“

“I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled broadly, acknowledging you will stay by her side.

“Sansa, come here.” Joffrey called for her. Shae and your uncle discreetly said goodbye to one another.

“Be safe. You are my favorite uncle.”

“I know.” He winked.

“Some of those boys will never come back.” Sansa didn’t take her eyes off the group of men heading outside.

“Joffrey will. The worst always live.” She emotionless said. Shae frowned, a bit worried you’d be angry about that, you couldn’t care less.

At the Meagor’s holdfast you sat next to little Tommen. You took a few seconds to stare at him, what a fine, decent, and handsome prince he was, unlike Joffrey, he deserves to live, he deserves the very best of the world and more. Across the room, Sansa and Shae were talking to each other. Occasionally you glanced at her.

“I don’t want us to die, Y/N.” Your baby brother said.

“We are not. I promise you, my little lion. Your big sister is here to protect you.” You squeezed his hand.

“I’m glad Myrcella is not here.”

“So am I.” Though you missed her every single day since she left King’s Landing, you knew she was safe, you were grateful that uncle Tyrion sent her away in time.

Suddenly you heard your mother’s voice calling for the Stark girl. She shyly stood in front of her. Perhaps Sansa was scared that Cersei would be angry to see her show devotion for you, she thought she might get scolded for staring at her daughter in a lingering way.

“I was wondering where our little dove has flown. You look pale, child. Is your red flower still blooming?”

“Yes.”

“Fitting, isn’t it? The men will bleed out there and you will bleed here. Pour Lady Sansa some wine.”

“I’m not thirsty, your grace.”

“So? I didn’t offer you water. Pour my daughter wine too.” The handmaid gave you the cups, you didn’t want to drink to be honest, just gave it a small sip, Sansa repeated your act. “I’m glad you didn’t insist on nonsense, my dear. War is no place for someone like you.” You scowled.

“That’s not the reason I’m not there.” Sansa saw you tensing, she changed the subject once you took another gulp of wine.

“What is he doing here?” Referring to the man that beheaded her father.

“Ser Ilyn? He’s here to defend us. When the axes smashes down those doors, you might be glad to have him.”

“I have my sword right here.” You grasped the cold weapon, resting in the armchair.

“After all that Jaime and Robert taught you you’ll be able to protect us all.” She scoffed. You waved off her comment.

“The lads caught a groom and two maids trying to sneak away with a stolen horse and some gold cups.” Ser Mandon Moore informed.

“The battle’s first traitors. Have Ser Ilyn see to them. Put their heads on spikes outside the stables as a warning.” She commanded him. “The only way to keep the small folk loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy. Remember that if you ever hope to become a queen.”

“That’s a wrong understatement. Make them love you, not despise you.” You stated, not doubting of your words.

“You would definitively be a weak queen, my love.”

Everyone could already notice the Queen Regent was tipsy, maybe even drunk. She didn’t bring to care. Tommen fell asleep an hour ago, you didn’t want to let your guard down, in case you needed to run.

“Come, darling. Step closer. I know I’ve been hard on you. Lately it seems like you want to die. I can be a pain on your neck, but I can’t lose you, Y/N, I can’t.” She kinda sought to appease.

“It’s alright, mom. I’m still in one piece.”

“I have never been an example for you to follow.” You couldn’t get to the light all the faults she has had since you were a toddler, however, it wasn’t the time, nor was she in a position to talk about it.

“You can always start over.” It’s all you said back.

“She is very pretty, isn’t she?” You fixed your eyes on Sansa, she was holding hands with the other ladies, sitting in a circle on the floor. Some would say it was too obvious, your mother being one of them. You didn’t get to answer cause she was calling her once again.

“What are you doing?” Cersei asked, well knowing.

“Praying.” She plainly said.

“You’re perfect, aren’t you? Praying, what are you praying for?”

“For the gods to have mercy on us all.”

“Oh, on us all?”

“Yes, your grace.”

“Even me?”

“Of course, your grace.” You just listened to their conversation.

“Even Joffrey?”

“Joffrey is my-“

“Oh, shut up, you little fool. Praying for the gods to have mercy on us all. The gods have no mercy. That’s why they are gods. My father told me that when he caught me praying. My mother had just died. I didn’t really understand the concept of death, the finality of it. I thought that if I prayed hard enough the gods would return her to me. I was four.”

“Your father doesn’t believe in the gods?”

“He believes in them, he just doesn’t likes them very much. Y/N prays as well. But it’s okay as long as she knows who the real saviors are. Here.” She threw her a small pillow. “Another for her.”

“She doesn’t want to keep drinking, mother.” You spoke.

“Is that true, little dove?”

“I-I-“ Cersei was harassing her, the stutter gave her away, and you were growing weary of your mother’s behavior.

“You are just as frightened as this flock of hens. I should have been born a man. I rather face a thousand swords than to be shut up inside.”

“That was my intent too.” You objected.

“My daughter is gorgeous, don’t you think so? And she desires to spoil that face of hers out there.”

“Yes, your grace, she looks a lot like you.”

“Not the hair. These women. It was expected of me to ask them here. As it will be of you if you ever become Joffrey’s queen. If my wretched brother should somehow prevail, these hens will return to their cocks and crow of how my courage inspired them, lifted their spirits.”

“And if the city should fall?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? The Keep should hold for a time, if it were anyone else outside those gates I might hope for a private audience, but this is Stannis Baratheon. I’d have a better chance seducing his horse.” Sansa remained quiet. “Have I shocked you, little dove? Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs. Learn how to use it. Do you have any notion of what happens when a city is sacked? No, you wouldn’t. If the city falls, these fine women should be in for a bit of a rape. Half of them will have bastards in their bellies come the morning. You’ll be glad of your red flower then. When a man’s blood is up, anything with tits looks good. A precious thing like you will look very, very good. A slice of cake just waiting to be eaten.” Cersei was tormenting Sansa because she wanted to bother you, upset you, and she achieved it, the uncomfortable look on the redhead's face was evident. She drank deeply from her glass.

“No one is going to rape Lady Sansa.” You promised, you wouldn’t let them get near her.

“Her hero will protect her. Yes. You, my sweet, sweet, silly daughter.” Cersei mocked, and Sansa flushed.

Cersei continued to tell Sansa stories about Jaime and her when they were children, you tried to distract yourself with your baby brother, you prayed for your uncle to succeed, for this to be over soon. You did not keep drinking, you were getting fond of wine, even ale. Now was not the moment to fill your veins with alcohol.

The Queen Regent apparently got curious about the foreign handmaiden, she didn’t act nervous, not even a bit, she asked her to tell a story, when Shae was about to begin Lancel burst in shouting at Cersei. He reported Tyrion’s destruction of the fleet and the landing of Stannis’s troops. She ordered him to fetch Joffrey inside.

“Your grace, what? The King’s presence is good for the morale.” He quibbled.

“Bring him back to his chambers now.”

“Not here?”

“With the women and children? Do you want him to be mocked as a coward for the rest of his life?”

“He is a coward.” You said out loud. She gave you a withering stare.

“Silence, Y/N.”

“Now, Ser Lancel.” He left, unconvinced. “Little dove, the real reason Ser Ilyn is here is for us. Stannis may take the city and the throne but he will not take us alive.”

The Lannister boy returned, he told the gold cloaks lost all heart when they saw Joffrey leaving. Cersei took both Tommen’s and your hand and rushed you off to the exit. Sansa tried to follow your gaze.

“What are you doing?” You baffling questioned.

“Buying us some time.”

“You can’t leave, these ladies-“

“Don’t make me repeat myself.” You got out of her grip.

“Are you coming back with her?” Your silence was the answer.

“Y/N, don’t go. I’m scared and if you are not with me-“ Tommen pleaded.

“My brave little lion. You are going to be just fine. You are very strong, just like father. I’ll be with you soon I promise.” You kissed his forehead. You didn’t look up to meet Cersei’s infuriated glare, you ran to Sansa’s room, where she must likely be.

You could never leave her behind. She was all that matters, Tommen will be safe with Cersei, she will defend him till her last breath. Something inside you told you uncle Stannis won’t be sitting on the throne tonight.

“...you won’t hurt me.” Sandor got there first, it was very odd, he seemed untroubled, under the circumstances of the battle. Sansa was relieved to see you.

“Of course he won’t.”

“No, princess, I won’t hurt her.” Sansa was holding the doll Ned gave her when they first arrived at King’s Landing.

“Why are you here?”

“Your big brother is a cunt. I won’t spend any other second of my life protecting a cunt. I wish you both good fortune, you might survive.” He walked out, leaving you alone with the northerner.

“Y/N... you came back. You must go with the Queen and the Prince.” You shook your head, taking her hand.

“No. My place is with you. I shall protect you and keep you from any harm. Remember, I’m not going anywhere.” She buried her face in your neck, the embrace was full of warmth. You laid in her bed, she gently placed her head on your chest. You were certain she could hear your shaky heartbeat, not for the war, nor for the fear but because of having her this close, you might as well confess your love right now, you don’t even know for sure if there is going to be a tomorrow.

She lifted her face, her eyes were dark, yours were too, there was only one thing you were dying to do. You softly caressed her cheek, your breaths became heavier, she closed her eyes and leaned closer, you sealed the kiss, her lips were oh so very thin, they were also edgy, a brief seconds later that changed, she deepened into it, melting your heart and body. Her hands resting in the back of your head and yours on her waist.

You smiled before the kiss ended, it felt like hours. You hope this is your last first kiss, with the woman you love. The bells rang again, you knew it was a sound of victory, you could tell the difference. Uncle Tyrion prevailed, you won.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you. Since the first day you came into my life.” You mumbled in Sansa’s ear.

“I can’t even put into words all the things you make me feel with just being around. You are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known, and even that is an understatement.” She stuck her arm around you.

“You intoxicate my soul with your precious blue eyes, my lady.” You said in a playful, sweet tone.

“Is that a good thing?” You giggled.

“Yes, yes it is.” You stayed in the cozy bed for another while. This felt so good that a part of you didn’t believe it was actually happening.

A couple of days passed since the victory. Uncle Tyrion was unconscious. You hoped he’d wake up soon. Now you were all gathered on the Throne Room, you stood next to Lord Varys.

Joffrey proclaimed your grandfather, Tywin Lannister, the new Hand of the King, and the savior of the city. He also awarded Lord Baelish with the Castle of Harrenhal for brokering the alliance between House Lannister and House Tyrell.

Loras was called to step forward, he knelt before the throne. It was so good to see him again.

“If your family would ask anything of me, ask it, and it shall be yours.” Joffrey stated.

“Your grace, my sister Margaery, her husband was taken from us before. She remains innocent.” You could notice he was still grieving for Renly, you knew him too well. “I would ask you to find it in your heart to do us the great honor of joining our houses.” You weren’t utterly surprised by this request, Margaery has always dreamt of being Queen. Still, you found Sansa’s unreadable expression from atop de gallery. This was swelling news.

“...For the good of the realm, your councilors beg you to set Sansa Stark aside.” Your mother finished saying.

“I would like to heed your wishes and the wishes of my people, but I took a holy vow.”

“I have consulted with the High Septon and he assures me that the crimes of the Starks against the realm free you from any promise you have made to them in the sight of the gods.” Maester Pycelll concluded.

“The gods are good. I am free to heed my heart. Ser Loras, I will gladly wed your sweet sister. You will be my queen and I will love you from this day until my last day.” You were beyond happy for this but also you couldn’t help feel bad for Margaery, she was one of your best friends, you cared for her and now she is the one who will live hell with your brother. That is what she really wants, she’ll know how to handle it, you hope, maybe he’ll truly love her, in his odd own way. Your northerner lady was finally free from that horrendous engagement.

“Thank you for coming. You saved us, Loras. I’ll be forever in your debt.” You gave Loras a big hug, he reciprocated.

“You are like my little sister. If I can help I’ll always will.”

“I’m sorry about Renly.” He ducked his head.

“He was your uncle, Y/N. I am sorry too.”

“Y/N! It feels like it’s been ages, right? Always a pleasure to see you.” Margaery approached you and her brother.

“I can say the same. Congratulations on your betrothal to Joffrey, my lady.” She grinned widely.

“I don’t know him very well but if he is anything like you then I’ll be very happy.” You returned the polite smile. You better warn her, not today though.

“I’ve missed you so much. One of these days we should assemble and chat.”

“Absolutely.” You excused yourself, leaving Loras and Margaery a bit confused for your sudden departure. They shared a complicit gaze.

“Lady Sansa.” Littlefinger bowed and turned around. You don’t like him being near her, you waited until he disappeared into the crowd before addressing the Stark girl.

“Have I told you how beautiful you look with that southern hairstyle? It suits you perfectly.” She blushed.

“Have I told you you are the cutest girl in the Seven Kingdoms and beyond?” You chuckled. She smiled, it was an unburden one that you haven’t seen in a while. “Things will get better or worse from now on?”

“Don’t stress about the future, my lady. Live in the present and make the most of it.” You tenderly said.

“With you.”

“Yes, if it is with someone else I’ll get jealous.” You winked at her.

Only Varys, Podrick the squire, and Shae came to visit Tyrion. You of course went to check on him too, he did all the hard work, he defended the city when Joffrey fled the battlefield. Still, he didn’t even mention him.

“...The histories won’t mention you, but we will not forget.” Lord Varys assured your uncle.

“How are you feeling?” You entered the room.

“A Kingsguard almost split me in two. I am now the monster the world has always said I am.”

“No. You were amazing. You didn’t back down. You fought bravely to defend the ones you love. I won’t forget either.”

“Thanks, my dear Y/N. I wouldn’t let those bastards get to you. Is your lady okay?”

“She is. We will have to catch up, but that will be at another time. You need to rest to fully recover. Let’s don’t keep your lady waiting.” You alluded to Shae. At least he has various people who love him just the way he is.

In the next couple of weeks your relationship with Sansa evolved, you became closer, letting your feeling flow out without any shame, you love her in secret from Cersei and Joffrey, and the others who wouldn’t accept it, who would do anything to tear you apart. Things had changed, but for the better.

#game of thrones fic #got #sansa stark x reader #sansa x reader #sansa x fem baratheon reader #house baratheon #baratheon reader #game of thrones x reader

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

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BTS Tarot Reading ➝ What Kind Of Porn Do They Watch? (18+)

↳ NOTE - due to several requests, a steamy and detailed one. ☕️ we’re asking the cards about the erotica they fancy in a wider sense.

warning ⚠️ 18+ // bdsm mentions, worship, kinks left and right. we’re going graphic in all types o’ ways, lads.

♡ DISCLAIMER // tarot is speculative, there is no guarantee for accuracy. believing in the cards is a choice. all portrayals are fictive and for entertainment purposes only.

SPREAD #1:

yoongi

⌈ THE WORLD ⇁ Jesus... Someone’s obsessed with girls in the nude. That card has a stark naked woman wrapped in very little satin on it so you know what our funky little guy is up to. Luscious aesthetic fotos might be just around his corner. Big duh, he’s a photography major. These folks are all about body appreciation. He’s also on a personal vendetta against lingerie 😂 Yoongi won’t get hard looking at even the most HD panty and bra ads. Only the skin in its full splendor will do, no editing. He loves pictures of nipples peaking through shirt fabric, it’s all over his phone. Yoongi likes his gals without underwear 24/7 just like he dislikes underwear himself. If we’re talking porn, the woman on the card is holding two very long rods so may I connect the dots: Threesomes, handjobs, blowbangs, spitroasting. Friction, friction, and more friction. To Yoongi’s brain, handjobs are a great um new version of holding hands. Sex standing up also, keeping it vertical. Yoongi doesn’t care about girth, inches count. Nice and elongated with a perfect plunge, something to hold onto. Yep, he’s pretty deliberate when searching that up. Yes, he loves the look of it. However, and you’ll be surprised: Even if he likes poly porn, it’s still nothing too extreme. This card is more about pleasure than pain. If a guy likes rough and degrading sex, you get swords and wands in his spread. THE WORLD is more about perfected skills and success. So, he likes the more accomplished porn stars. With a preference for curly blondes and redheads, that’s sort of the hair color on the card. Natural B or C cup. Medium height, not too curvy. Oversized booty not needed. In terms of nationality: We have three representative animals on the card. Eagle, lion and bull, plus a light blonde man’s head. So, anything that America/Germany/Albania/Mexico/Namibia (and so on, lot of countries with eagles as their national bird my dude), England, Spain and Scandinavia have to offer. Honey sugar is going international, baby.

hoseok

⌈ QUEEN OF WANDS ⇁ Did I just mention that guys who like rough sex in porn get wand cards in their readings in Yoongi’s segment? Well, there we have our candidate, with a very obvious card since it’s a court figure. Now, the thing is, this is not the guy being rough. The QUEEN OF WANDS is as notoriously femdom as can be. The very fiery and raw and fun version. So, with a degree of lightheartedness, but still being very fit — even buff — and hands-on with the sub. If you get the QUEEN OF SWORDS, that’s the more cool and calculated domme who signs you up for torture and humiliation, and she really looks like a domme. She’s all over the internet because she has the grit. Now wands combined with a tarot queen... it’s more about the stamina and she is approachable. Hobi does not like watching cruel girls, he likes challenging ones. Upbeat porn stars who can take a lot but most importantly dole it out assertively like pros are Hobi’s schtick. He’s unapologetic about that. With him it’s like, please not the local newcomers that turned legal a month ago. The queen cards are all about mature women. Mommy kink, hint hint. The kind of mommy who’s gonna whip out the spreader bar or cane (= wands again) and give a playful type of punishment. See how desert-like that imagery is, Hobi wants to sweat big time when he gets off to this. Now since wands also make for a damn good pole to dance on, go figure. This whole card has me wondering if, well alright, he is a Cardi B hard stan 😅 If Hobi blasts Money to get in the mood, I’d not be surprised. Anyway. Back to pole stuff: If you go through his youtube search history, you will find astounding things. I think he watches the more professional and athletic performers in competition though. High production value is key. Finally, an interesting card detail: There’s a sunflower on it. This is definitely his kind of tarot imagery.

jimin

⌈ KING OF COINS ⇁ This card always looks like a scene from a medieval movie so you might have an erotic film enthusiast here. The more chaste type of genre, pentacles are very grounded and not hypersexualized. The intimacy is slow and more about security and pleasure. It’s graphic and detailed, but gives you a sense of relaxation. With a bit of romance in the plot, that might absolutely be Jimin’s thing. Castles and wine and nobility. Interesting type of erotica. Historical and classy. As expected of a prince, mind you. He might enjoy books of that genre also. And we know Jimin is an avid reader, right up there with Namjoon. Now, even with more risque and contemporary stuff that he googles up, we have similar dynamics going down on screen. With Hobi we had femdom because it’s a queen card, now with Jimin we get the classic male dom type of porn because that’s how the King usually rolls, unless it’s the KING OF CUPS who’s touchy-feely and subby. Meanwhile, the KING OF COINS is your local sugar daddy. Leaning towards being a soft dom, he’s not aggressive. And Jimin surely has a little crush on that concept. Ye know, if all the other members have female cards and Jimin gets the sugar daddy, we might be dealing with mxm action. Because if this card was a porn star, he’d be a really, really rich producer and a bear who’s done this since the frickin’ 90s. He’s treating his subs very gently and lets them sit on their lap, the imagery is sort of like that because the King is balancing a pentacle on his left thigh. Sex and comfort all in one are life for Jimin. A sexy detail I only noticed at a second glance, the King also has a shortened golden staff with him, which has a rounded tip. If that’s not a butt plug… whenever I see props like that in tarot, I interpret it as a sex toy. So, good vibes in here. And a bunch of aphrodisiacs, the KING OF COINS is a foodie. Which you know, might just be a food porn type of reference. Jimin’s taste in sexy things is quite something else.

jungkook

⌈ THE EMPRESS ⇁ If there’s one thing I like, it’s the Tarot giving me the important archetypes during readings of that kind. The Queens, the Kings, the Major arcana (see Yoongi’s and Jin’s segment). You can really draw a lot of hints out of it. Now with the EMPRESS you have a similar case to Hobi’s, just a lot more softcore. Jungkook has a refined and pretty vast taste in erotica, if not the most refined in Bangtan next to Jimin who likes that kind of dignified touch to it as well as we saw. Jungkook knows his stuff when it comes to searching things up, he is a first class netizen in that regard. In terms of genre: The EMPRESS is your highkey feminist and wholesomeness legend, so — you won’t find any super creepy things in some hidden file on his PC, and things by female producers instead. No slut-shaming or name-calling here, everyone gets their pleasure in their own right. Thanks to online sex ed, Jungkook has a map to the clit and he’s not afraid to use it. He’s the type to watch solo videos ad nauseam. He’s fascinated. Masturbation until it gets all messy with the juices flowing, and you bet he wants to see the girls buzzing themselves off lying on their back. Maybe even outdoors in a field. Cum play is a must, cunnilingus is a must, he loves unprotected sex and creampies, he loves breast massages. And yes. Anything that involves sex with pregnant and chubby women. Similar to Taehyung, it’s all about the focus on the girl, he doesn’t bother much with the guy performers. And given Yoongi’s reading on top of that, we have three members in BTS who are all about worshipping the female body right here, breasts over ass, and he likes blondes, too. The EMPRESS card is like… the entire porn industry who does the MILF and BBW genre is financed by Jeon Jungkook’s website subscriptions. Cue GOT7, with Jungkook it’s girls, girls, girls. The thirst is going strong, and he’s unashamed times ten, sex is sex.

➝ we also have members who don’t really bother with erotica or have a complicated relationship with it.

SPREAD #2

taehyung

⌈ ACE OF WANDS reversed ⇁ He’s not about beating off until the world ends. Taehyung gets bored by porn or heated literature and doesn’t feel very motivated to search it up. He would rather come up with his own ideas to write but doesn’t have the energy. Sex drive: On hold, even if he tries to look something up it doesn’t feel very fulfilling to him. Most of it fails to turn him on, it’s not his kind of taste. He gets frustrated when he masturbates and would rather rest, dream, and doze. The only thing I can see him watch somewhat frequently — hold your horses — is lesbian porn. I’ll explain. The ACE OF WANDS is pretty much your most glaring handjob symbolism card. A hand gripping a stick. Yoongi’s THE WORLD card has very similar imagery, I mean even two wands and a girl, bisexual explosion much. He would be a big fan of the upright ACE OF WANDS card lmao! But the reversal is like, um no silly guys jerking off in here, pls. Keep your cum to yourself. That means: Zero dicks in Taehyung’s zone, girl-on-girl stuff is his very last resort for quality that he is desperate for but cannot find. And not the stuff where the producers just replace the guys with heavy arsenal sex toys, double-ended dildos, fucking machines, endless strap-on action without any clit stimulation on either side and whatnot. Taehyung is like ugh, cherie, why, give me the juicy stuff, give me the basics. What he wants is just pure scissoring, fingering, oral, little gentle bites, a lot of caresses and kisses. And slow, slow sex. Probably the amateur kind. He hates how brutal and exaggerated most things online are. Tae is looking for softness, a lot of lesbian action is what delivers in that regard so he takes all he gets. And it goes further than that, Taehyung knows the finest yuri recommendations, I’m telling you.

seokjin

⌈ THE STAR reverse ⇁ The opposite of Yoongi: not keeping it very naked in here. The upright card shows a nude woman pouring water from two cups. Hence a strong connection to the card of sexuality, TWO OF CUPS. Everything is very gentle and positive in that scenery. But then, the reversed card rather shows us that Jin doesn’t feel too thrilled watching other people film or write or photograph sex. Like in Tae’s case, he becomes bored, it’s all the same to him. Nothing’s ever new to him in porn. He feels negative and guilty rather than refreshed or entertained. He also doesn’t like a lot of kinks that very literally connect to, well, the pouring water. Squirting, cum play, watersports, sex in the pool or showers, lube overuse, creampies, bukkake, fake cum — Jin is rolling his eyes at that, he thinks it’s a circus. He’s surely given it a try, but ended up feeling worse and even more pent-up or dissatisfied. At best, you will find him on unknown websites looking for the most amateur videos there are. Because: THE STAR quite unequivocally hints at porn stars. If you reverse the card, it becomes someone not very well-known. He roots for the underdog. Accordingly, Jin’s reaction to mainstream videos goes this way: ‚Pipe down, you non-artists!’ 😆 Cause maybe, he does do it better aye, without the awkward angles anyway. He doesn’t want the body cult, like, put that airbrush and silicone out of my face bro. Not because he’s against surgery, but the idea behind sexual extremes and the shady high standards. It’s too polished for him to get turned on. And robotic/staged. Likely because he’s had an IRL sexual experience (gasp!) that set a different ideal to him, so the more glossy porn feels off. Home video has all he needs instead. I think it’s especially because you get so see more body hair there. The woman on the THE STAR card is all sleek, so the reversed card is the opposite, Jin wants that unshaved goodness.

namjoon

⌈ EIGHT OF CUPS ⇁ Now you’d think — and I thought, kinda — we’d get the master of erotica right here. And he’s had one hell of a reputation for that. Think of the ever-infamous Yaman TV interview where BTS were super upfront and revealing about their taste and what they watch privately. With especially Namjoon having the lion’s share. But this card says otherwise if his current state is concerned. The EIGHT OF CUPS shows a man wandering off into the night, leaving eight cups behind him. I think what that means is, he’s moved on. Namjoon’s cravings aren’t as strong as they used to be, nor does he have the time. He knows it won’t fix his loneliness or answer the questions of life. He might be on the search for different things to fulfill him, or ignore much of his hormones in favor for his career. Not that he didn’t dabble in it, he sure did, but that chapter is slowly closing and what’s next he doesn’t really know yet. He thinks about family and being a father, so the smaller and more risque pleasures become less significant. Desire, too. Ye olde soul syndrome is kicking in. The card is also centered around introspection, a quest for self, all these higher topics that aren’t the most grounded and don’t leave much space for being horny. Joon is simply to preoccupied and on the move. He sees porn as a distraction from his real self at this point, and he’s not the type to feel satiated after masturbating to something, similar to Jin and Taehyung. Instead, I think he carries that energy elsewhere, hence the wanderer going from A to B onto a mountain. In short, Namjoon naturally grew out of it by becoming more, well: Namjoon. He’s left a lot behind, he’s choosing self-development over temporary fun, and he will ponder a lot on the topic, the hows and whys and whats more often than not. So, he’s passed the baton to Yoongi and Jungkook if you will, and keeps a low profile as of now.

tarot mlist | ko-fi

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for anon:

#bts tarot #bts #bangtan #bts smut #bts tarot reading #tarot #long post

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disabledgenius2ereality · 3 years ago

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The Halloween talk. Part 1

It’s that season where we start to celebrate Halloween.

Halloween is cool it has a rich history and has different ways of honoring the dead.

Honoring the dead is important Wether you are spiritual or not because honoring the dead is an acknowledgment of the lessons learned by our predecessors.

Halloween though is often turned more into a casual joking and costume situation.

It’s ok if you do that or that’s how you celebrate but please be mindful and consider some things.

Halloween is celebrated differently from culture to culture. It’s important to be respectful to those who take it as a more serious day to reflect and to welcome the joy and sorrow filled lessons of those who came before. That being said some people see the honoring the dead part as something outside of costumes and a call to examine how we would respond to things done by people who came before to heal it within our own bloodline or reflecting on the amazing ways our predecessors have contributed to society. (How can we preserve our traditions and be an ally in the fight for other cultures to perseve the

Llama

Costume responsibility

Costumes that perpetuate Racism sexism or cultural stereotyping is not honoring.

Costumes that highlight the most traumatic part of a persons life is not honoring. (Wether you believe in spirits or not …. Or wish to honor them and those who lived before this is just r that pain

Especially since their are still many LIVING Predecessors who survived the worst of human cruelty and can just have that trauma and shoved right back in their face…

What should I look out for or Avoid this Halloween season?

Our friends and Neighbors impacted by the following are working towards liberation so it’s is oppressive to reinforce stereotypes or dehumanization that is contrary

Be mindful of B.I.P .O.C folks

•Black Lives Matter is a serious and dire:

So Racist costumes such as , Blackface/yellow face ,

Dressing up as a specific cultural heritages more specifically dressing up as a racial community.

Nuerodivergents—

Every year Nuerodivergents have to see you smile and laugh about what our communities consider great tragedies and. Depending on how you define Genocide some would consider it Genocide.

Asylums: Most Disabled and Nuerodivergent People who would have been Elders in our communities that have died were killed in Asyslums or died there.

Eugenics in America is a part of what is kept alive when we believe in things like “Functioning levels.” Or that “Intelligence.” Can actually be measured and depending on that value people are worth keeping alive or the cruelest people I have heard refer to some of us as wastes of resources.

There isn’t a Damn Disabled or Nuerodivergent who’s is “a waste of resources.”

I would like to please remind you.

Nobody owes you productivity or production in exchange for their lives.

Nobody owes you work in exchange for their lives.

For people in Disabled and Nuerodiverse communities People in our communities find value in what they like.

It’s how we calm ourselves. Special interests are how we calms ourselves and no special interests don’t need to fit NT or Ablebodied ideas of “Age Appropriate.” Especially as they like to use this to back up the “Mental age narrative which is gross.”

Point is a lot of Adult Nuerodivergent and Mentally Ill folks who turn to shows like Thomas the tank engine or kids TV

Is because Kids TV follows a routine it is predictable it doesn’t have all the scary and abrupt violence that might happen on mainstream tv.

It isn’t about “Intellect.” It’s aboit

Comfort.

If you have a migraine it is probably hard for you to read Shakespeare’s Hamlet.

However you might be able to watch a new process The Lion King

Those are the same story told in different ways with different complexity of language.

However if you can watch Lion King you are seeing and observing Shakespeare…

It’s a matter of presenting it with words that are accessible to folks even when extremely stressed… sometimes people may understand better with just pictures and that’s cool too.

Point is given the right and accessible materials All disabled and Mentally Ill can understand complex subjects it’s about supporting that persons individual s learning and comfort to work together to find the best way for her to learn

It’s not an ok narrative.

(specially with covid many have brought this sentiment back chanting things like sacrifice the weak.)

This is the notion that has killed Many Disabled & Mentally Elders off.

That being said costumes don’t lack meaning. Asylum themed haunted houses actually are cruel mockery’s of a real truth a truth that paints the victims of the Asylums often as the “Bad Guys.”

The Straight jacket is a torture device for restraint.Electro shock therapy while Ect may help those with SEVERE SEVERE depression

However medical consent is talked about like sexual consent so most medical consent needed for things like isn’t actually consensual if we ally the same terms;

A person must be over 18+

It has to be their choice not anyone else’s.

They have to have had the procedure explained to them in an accessible way. They should be able to give some indication of understanding the produces. Ex this will help me by,

People can answer with guidance ,but not let them be pressure.

•. People should be allowed to revoke consent at anytime

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jeannereames · 4 years ago

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What Genre IS Dancing with the Lion?

(N.B.: This post should not make anyone feel guilty for mislabeling the novels; I’m posting it because there seems to be some confusion.)

One of the most important parts of selling a book is getting it into the right hands: that is, to the readers most likely to enjoy it. And that involves labeling it correctly.

If you picked up Dancing with the Lion because you’re a fan of Alexander the Great or ancient Greece, the book’s genre probably matters little. I’ve read novels about Alexander in everything from lit mainstream to SFF to mystery to old-school Romance.

Yet such readers are a fraction of potential readership. For those with no particular inclination to a book about Alexander the Great, naming the genre matters. Will it meet reader expectations and appeal, or frustrate and annoy? That’s why authors worry about genre labels.

So, to answer the question: Dancing with the Lion is a mainstream historical coming-of-age novel with touches of magical realism and queer themes.

Below, I’ll explain in brief why it’s some labels and not others. But I want to stress that getting a book correctly labeled is NOT a diss at genres it isn’t. Again, it’s about getting it into the right hands so readers like it instead of hate it.

Novel: At root, two basic story types exist—those that focus on plot (romance, small /r/ = adventure story) and those that focus on characters (novel). I write both, incidentally; my current WIP is an historical fantasy adventure series. But DwtL is a novel. Characterization IS the plot, rather than characters moving the plot along.

Mainstream: Just means the book doesn’t fit into the plot conventions of commercial genre fiction. Saying something is “mainstream” therefore says mostly what it is not: not mystery, not horror, not Romance, not fantasy, etc. Some folks will subdivide it further into “literary” mainstream versus commercial mainstream with the distinction that the latter sells better and/or the former is more artsy.

Historical: A subcategory of several genres, including mainstream. Readers of historicals tolerate more historical detail and unusual names, although genre historicals can alter that. Too much historical detail in an historical Romance that slows down the love story can get an author in trouble. Mainstream historicals may include glossaries, character stemma, timelines of historical events, or other reader guides. Afficionados of historical novels are reading for that detail, not in spite of it.

Coming-of-Age: as the name suggests, this very old story archetype is all about the characters growing up. In DwtL, three characters have coming-of-age arcs: Alexandros, Hephaistion, and Kleopatra.

Magical Realism: Unlike genre fantasy, magical realism combines realistic/non-magical elements with supernatural ones. They also take place in this world, not a different fantasy world in which magic works. Yet the line between historical fantasy and historical magical realism can be fine because, in the past, people did assume magic worked, and the better authors of historical fantasy employ magical systems appropriate to that place and time. The biggest difference is that magical realism is subtler, and the supernatural elements may not be perceived by all, or even most characters. (So while Alexandros sees Dionysos, no one else does.)

Queer Themes: This is more than just Alexandros and Hephaistion as lovers. Especially in Rise, one sub-plot for Hephaistion’s coming-of-age is his own growing awareness that the way he experiences desire does not conform to the expectations of his society. He is what we, in the modern world, would call gay. I wanted to explore how it might feel for someone to be gay in a world that doesn’t have that label, and which might, on the face of it, seem more accepting…but really isn’t.

Now, for the genres it’s not, and why:

Not Romance: Capital /R/, Romance the genre has fairly locked-in plot arc expectations. The Hero and Hero (if it’s m/m) meet, go through trials and tribulations, then finally hook up in some sort of permanent way to live happily-ever-after (HEA) or at least happily-for-now (HFN). The focus of the novel must remain firmly on the Hero and Hero and their relationship. Other relationships and events should serve to frame the main one, never distract from it.

DwtL: Becoming simulates some of those things. The book does begin when the boys meet, and they go through a friends-to-more plot arc, but there’s too much Other Stuff, and in Rise, the story just keeps going even after they get together. Furthermore, Rise is not a Romance plot arc, even loosely. It’s all about Alexandros and Hephaistion entering the adult world of politics and war, and the larger theme (of the whole series, not just these books) asks what it means to be a moral/ethical sovereign?

Not YA (Young Adult): Although YA novels should have an adolescent protagonist and will often be a coming-of-age story, not all novels with an adolescent protagonist or coming-of-age story are YA. So what’s the difference? The themes and the language employed.

The plot of YA should focus on things important to that age group (13-18), not necessarily what could equally matter to someone in their 50s. That doesn’t mean adults can’t enjoy YA stories; about 55% of YA books are purchased by adults. Another aspect of YA is the vocabulary used and complexity of ideas. Sometimes adult coming-of-age stories are called more “sophisticated,” which isn’t a term I like. Intricate might be better, in characterization and theme.

Donna Tartt’s The Goldfinch, Toni Morrison’s The Bluest Eye, and J.D. Salinger’s A Catcher in the Rye are all coming-of-age novels, and some are even assigned in high school English classes. But they aren’t commercial YA in language or theme. In contrast to, say, Madeline L’Engel’s A Wrinkle in Time, Jane Yolen’s Pit Dragon trilogy, or Ursula LeGuin’s A Wizard of Earthsea. Yet I don’t think anyone would call those latter three “unsophisticated.”

In short, a teen protagonist and/or coming-of-age story does not qualify a book as YA.

Finally, most YA treats sex gingerly as they must be appropriate for readers as young as 13, 14, 15. They may have some romance or none at all, and they may have elided sexual situations light on description. It shouldn’t be shocking, but age-appropriate to adolescent curiosity about sex. (By contrast, the category of New Adult [18-25 readership] may have quite a lot of graphic sex in it, although in other ways NA resembles YA.)

When I wrote Dancing with the Lion, despite the age of the main protagonists, I made no attempt to moderate the language. There are also POV scenes from adults, and three of the chief thematic concerns—what does it mean to be a moral king [Alex], how does one support the powerful without losing one’s self in the process [Hephaistion], and how to exercise personal agency when one has none legally [Kleopatra]—are themes that can apply to any age group. Last, the sex scenes have no stop on them. If two are over fairly quickly with general/poetic description, the third is graphic because it needs to be as what they are doing matters very much to Hephaistion’s character arc. There is also reference to the rape of women and children in war; only the aftermath is shown, but still. While I realize emotional maturity can vary wildly, I wouldn’t recommend the second novel for readers under 15/16. (I told my niece not to let my great-niece read it yet.)

That’s why I’m concerned about Dancing with the Lion being labeled YA. An unsuspecting parent might buy it for their early teen child, only for that child to get a textual eyeful in book 2!

Also, readers who pick it up thinking it’s ___, get angry when it’s not. E.g., in an otherwise fairly positive review, at least one reader wrote:

“Because the western spellings/pronunciation are so ingrained using the stranger sounding Greek slows the pace even further and seems to over complicate things merely for the sake of it. This is clearly aimed at a YA audience and so I find the choice doubly baffling - Because you want to encourage teens reading not put them off by making this harder than it needs to be.”

But it’s not YA, was never meant to be YA, nor marketed or labeled as YA on the cover. Apparently, some folks on Goodreads labeled it that in their tags, so now “Young Adult” shows up as one of its genres…and I can’t get rid of it because I don’t set those tags (nor does my publisher).

In the above case, the reader mostly enjoyed it, but her perceptions affected how she reviewed it. Authors can’t always control those perceptions and expectations, but as we really do want readers to like the book (not feel deceived), we endeavor to use the right labels on them.

#Dancing with the Lion #DwtL #Alexander the Great #historical fiction #ancient Greek historical fiction #labeling fiction #coming-of-age #mainstream #queer themed fiction #magical realism #genre Romance #commercial YA #Jeanne Reames #don't want to annoy the readers

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