#We are going to sit in the grass
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My stupid ass: A 9month to 1 year old first cat would be perfect for my needs, a first time cat owner, yes I know Bengals aren't good for first timers but I am definitely sure about it!
My stupid ass: *realizing that training kitties to go on walks is WAY easier when they are still tiny*
My stupid ass: *beholds cat-teenager* all right so this might take a little longer than I thought--
#I would choose her over and over#no regrets on my choice#but I was delusional thinking that it would be easier#Palomita posting#We are going to sit in the grass#I do appreciate that some of the youtubers with the cat channels try to be honest#re: theres a lot of behind the scenes of even getting cat to park at all#they meander and won't walk like dogs#also almost everyone making the videos Ive seen had the benefit of Covid outdoor peacefulness and also. Time. To do this#hot people with houses taking their beautiful cat on walks#its easier if you have a second cat parent with you#grrrrr#I'll figure it out
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If things had started out differently. If i was born to a family that actually loved. If i grew in a place with nourishment and affection instead of aggression and ignorance. If it had all started differently... where would i be?
I get wanting to be the same person, and dont get me wrong, there are parts about my personality that i love, and that i know that i wouldnt have if it werent for the life i have lived... But if i could be healthy, and somewhat normal, surely people would find something to love about me still.
If i hadnt spent everyday fighting for my life, only to continue spending everyday fighting for my life, would i be worthy of love still? Is being worthy of some type of love my "reward" for all the horrors ive faced? Because as much as i love and adore my friends, given the chance, im not sure i would still pick this path covered in spines and venom, and horrors beyond comprehension. Not when there is a freshly manicured, fenced, safe path that so many others have chosen and still lived their good lives.. Im not sure what ive gained except resilience, and sadly resilience really doesnt get you much in the grand scheme of things.
#Guys im having a week#thats a lie im actually having a year but we are going to pretend its just a week#Im fine though#im going to sit out in the grass and soak up some sun and breathe in some air and imagine i am not so very cold and alone#And perhaps have a beverage as a little treat#ooh what beverage should i have?
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to be quite honest. shipping with CANON (not headcanoned) exclusively gay/lesbian characters as someone of the gender they are explicitly not attracted to is a form of erasure and lowkey homophobic. 'just make them bi' is a bad take. bi people are amazing and valid but not everyone is bisexual??? 'theyre not real' is a bad take bc representation matters and i feel like that doesnt really need to be said. obviously the character isnt real and isnt offended but gay/lesbian selfshippers can see how much you dont gaf abt their identities. gay people exist in real life too!!! homophobia is still so acceptable in fandom spaces and its kinda wild.
Actually this one gets to skip the queue because we just had another anon push their luck about this. I WAS originally going to leave this in queue but now feels like a better time to nip this in the bud.
This is the LAST thing I'm saying about this topic because frankly it's the majority of what we've been getting recently and it's exhausting. All future asks about this topic WILL be deleted. AS STATED ABOVE. DO WHAT YOU WANT FOREVER. YOUR EXPERIENCE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.
TAKING POTSHOTS AT EACH OTHER IS NOT A CONFESSION.
THAT'S CALLED BEING AN ASSHOLE.
k thanks bye
#No offense to this anon or any of the prevs but I'm just so fucking tired of this topic. and so are other mods. seriously. drop it. now.#signed an agender lesbian in real life that's main f/o is just some guy. trust me when i say we don't actually care that much. not that dee#other queer selfshippers: if you're bothered by someone minding their own business. please for the love of EVERYTHING just block them.#if they're actively going out of their way to bother you or ACTIVELY SAYING SOMETHING BIGOTED THEN YES THAT'S AN ISSUE#but if they're just. sitting there. they're fine. block and move on I IMPLORE. LIKE SERIOUSLY. COME ON NOW.#For all you fucking know this could be someone's gateway into figuring out their own identity. we talk constantly about the sexuality aspec#but the amount of people I've seen figure out their GENDER because they selfshipped with someone that 'wouldn't normally be into them' is#frankly not a number you can just ignore. like are we forgetting 'fujoshi' culture that a lot of trans people found themselves from???#Seriously. I'm at a loss for words and frankly just disappointed. Considering officially blacklisting this because this is NOT worth it.#*deep. can you TELL I'm fucking tired of this?#already had one person try to start shit about 'not REALLY being gay/lesbian' because of selfshipping with an opposite gender character#I am NOT tolerating that shit on this blog. NONE of us will.#genuinely if something possess you to try and place yourself as an authority on OTHER PEOPLE'S IDENTITIES. *TOUCH. GRASS.* I AM SO SERIOUS.#LITERALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. QUEER PEOPLE IRL: HEY MAN HOW'S IT GOING.#<< HEY BTW IF YOU SENT THAT AND/OR THE SECOND ASK ABOUT THAT COUNT YOUR LUCKY STARS WE'RE FAR MORE FORGIVING AND YOU'RE NOT IP BLOCKED YET.#Literally please grow up and learn from this. Talk to LITERALLY any other queer people outside of your bubble for fucks sake.#skips the queue#THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LATER TODAY. CAN WE PLEASE GO MORE THAN 2 SECONDS?!
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sometimes i just look into mishka’s eyes and think “i hope she’s happy”
#i think she has a pretty enriching life#esp in her time spent with abby#they go on adventures all the time#and we take her basically anywhere dogs are allowed#and she has doggy friends she gets to spend time with every so often#and she has all the comfort she ever wants#but when she spends the week with me i always worry we’re not doing enough#bc i physically can’t take her for long walks or play with her for too long at once#but right now she’s laying in the grass in the sun#and i’m sitting out here with her#and i’m just crying a little bit#because i love her so much and i hope she’s happy.#izzy.txt
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Walked in the park with a friend I'm okay now 👍
#diary#cried about my mom and she cried about her dad hc we're both going thru having parents who are really sick#– and won't get better anytime soon#it was so freeing just sitting in the sun on our skin the wind blowing and the soft grass beneath us#we just cried and talked and had tea and pasteries#guys sometimes you just need to see your friends. go outside even if youre sad#do it sad do it scared do it even if you dont want to. i promise it's worth it
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Thank goodness for rain.
#somehow woke up at 7 and just laid there for 2 hours enjoying the sound#(mildly concerned that i fell asleep at almost 3 and somehow still woke up that early but we vibe i guess)#no one may judge me for not getting out this weekend#i am going to sit here and drink my coffee and play some original re1#and also the trees and grass are green and not likely to catch on fire#it’s late may and the AC barely has to run what a gift
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oh
#I’ve had the worst morning at work and feel really overwhelmed and burnt out etc etc#and as soon as I pulled into my driveway I burst into tears and after a few minutes I’m like ok let’s go inside have a shower and eat!#like we can turn this day around!#but i look up and my neighbour’s dog is sitting by my gate with her ball and it felt like my own lil guardian angel#and then I’m playing with her on the front grass and then my neighbour comes out and makes me laugh and yeah#the day is turning AROUND
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walked into a church the other day and remembered a few church songs that i used to love singing and now my head is stuck on that specific cozy feeling again *sigh* gotta cope with writing some more of that lesbokris au i guess
#voice of a guy who didnt even believe in god and who left the church ten years ago but grew up deeply catholic so theres no escaping it ever#id say go listen to may the road rise to meet you but you would get it. YOU WOULDNT GET IT.#the german version has different melody and different verses and its nicer SORRY also i looked at like twenty different videos of choirs#singing it on youtube but none of them hit half as good as the version in my head and in my heart bc its end of summer camp and everyone#stands in a big circle holding hands to sing it and its last day before summer break at catholic school and everyone gathers in the aula to#sing and its a packed church on sunday and everyone is sanft falle regen auf deine felder und warm auf dein gesicht der sonnenschein#and everyones singing sei über 40 jahre im himmel bevor der teufel merkt du bist schon tot#and everyones singing bis wir uns mal wiedersehen hoffe ich dass gott dich nicht verlässt. er halte dich in seinen händen doch drücke seine#faust dich nicht zu fest. und bis wir uns wiedersehen halte gott dich fest in seiner hand YOU DONT GET IT YOULL NEVER GET IT ARGH.#its such a tender song its so sweet and loving and i dont even gaf abt god but its the sentiment its the feelings godddddd#i wish i was 12 again and standing in a field at 6am with morning dew on the grass and im tired and shivering in the fresh air and we just#need to pack up the tents and then its end of summer and ill sit on the bus home for ten hours and when i get home my mom makes my#favourite dinner bc she missed me so much#everyone look away im having therapy sessions on the dash again.#soph txts#txt#anyways nice choir version in the source. but still not hitting the spot.#i will deal with it by making lesbian bokris experience things. im fucking hopeless.
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Tag drop: Guizhong (don't mind me re-dropping this with the fixed ones, shh)
#tag drop#[ guizhong. ] many things only seem to surface beneath the moon's poignant glow. wherever its light shines; the heart is wont to follow.#[ guizhong: ic. ] wherever her spirit may be among the countless grains of sand and specks of dust between the harbor and the mountains.#[ guizhong: inquiries. ] hmph. she always had a way with words.#[ guizhong: countenance. ] and because they are afraid; they try so hard to become more intelligent. this i understand.#[ guizhong: introspection. ] although she did not live to see the splendid sights of today: she was as much a hero as any other.#[ guizhong: etc. ] it took an elaborate treasure hunt to preserve the commandments that were once the lifeblood of a whole civilization.#[ guizhong: mortals. ] at their full potential; they could be her equal. a human who has as much to teach an adeptus as to learn from them.#[ guizhong: guili plains. ] as guizhong once said: “it takes every blade of grass and every flower to make a homeland.”#[ guizhong: liyue. ] perhaps she will look at the liyue of today and steal a smile when she sees the prosperous land that it has become.#[ guizhong: realm of clouds. ] a voyage to a sanguine sky.#[ guizhong: mechanical arts. ] in one's heart; i knew that she was indeed the superior talent in the mechanical arts.#[ guizhong: glaze lilies. ] they were far more abundant back then. entire fields would appear to the eye as a veritable sea of flowers.#[ guizhong: adepti. ] until the moon set and the sun rose. and only then would the banquet finally come to an end.#[ guizhong: morax. ] whoever it was that revered her so much was very clever indeed.#[ guizhong: morax. ] when our eyes meet; eternity is defined. [ delusionaid. ]#[ guizhong: xiao. ] if darkness comes; colors you with fear; be still and know that i'm with you and i will say your name. [ apocryphis. ]#[ guizhong: marchosius. ] who would dare snub the stove god and his wondrous creations? at the sight of him: we would drop any argument.#[ guizhong: streetward rambler. ] it almost felt like she was back again. sitting right there on the stone stool next to me; chatting away.#[ guizhong: cloud retainer. ] we each had our ideals; and neither one of us would yield to the other.#[ guizhong: osial. ] she would disrupt the silence around them with a hum; as if to sing to the harmony of the water. was this his song?#[ guizhong: sea gazer. ] he was quite the braggart when it came to those collectibles he was so fond of; he always loved to show them off.#[ guizhong: skybracer. ] to who lived by the mountain; he was their savior. in fact; they thought higher of him than the lord of geo.#[ guizhong: ganyu. ] if we planted flowers in the guili plains; do you think that one day we'd be able to recreate the sea of glaze lilies?#[ guizhong: v. descension. ] she descended whose dominion was over dust; and whose reach shrouded the skies for thousands of miles around.#[ guizhong: v. guili assembly. ] it's great to have it back but i want to go back to the world. and start with guili plains.#[ guizhong: v. archon war. ] they fought upon the plains; where black dust choked the heavens and a thousand rocks splintered.#[ guizhong: v. present. ] all wrapped up in a city that has existed for many moons to date. all these things: they are why people chase it.#[ guizhong: meta. ] her manuscripts lie unfinished in her abode. the blank pages give cause for contemplation on what might have been.
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i know i was constantly bitching abt my shitty old house but i think the lack of a backyard & porch in this new place is seriously affecting me. badly.
#we do have a balcony or whatever it’s called but it’s kinda gross so i don’t wanna step out there without shoes & im too lazy to bring em up#also it’s just. not the same. tiny street directly visible to everybody? no thanks. & i’m not just gonna go & sit in the grass outside.#way too likely to sit in goose or dogshit. so. not happening. idk this new house is more comfortable & it’s cleaner & shit but like. my god.#i miss going outside to take trash out. i miss sitting on the porch watching the sunset. backyard for sunrise. etc etc.#guess rn it’s too hot to go outside anyway. but still. i miss having the Option. can’t just go outside to be outside anymore out here.#too many people nowhere to sit & relax. it’s driving me nuts.
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i hope they made the goats little shitheads (affectionate) like they are in real life. i want those little bitches eating anything they can reach. your sims is petting it? it’s eating your shirt. oh they’re holding it now? it’s eating their hair. planted some fresh crops? goat ate it. kid left their homework in the pen? their teacher’s never gonna believe this...
#goats are such little jerks i lvoe them#there's a place my family LOVES going to where we can go on 'goat hikes'#and we just go on a walk around the fields of the farm with baby goats is SO fun#they'll keep stopping to eat grass or beef with each other they're so cute#or they just abruptly stop and wont walk anymore and you have to pick them up UGHJ i love goats#one time we went when it was too cold for walks so you can just sit in the barn with them#and one climbed up on my lap and fell asleep for the entire like half hour it was SO cute#UGH goats!!!!!!! 🥰🥰#court rambles
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i miss blogging....
#remember how we used to blog...#now i just go outside and sit on grass and look at art. lame! give me images and text posts#joking somewhat but i'm sick and in bed and scrolling through tumblr :P#i do miss being on here though i feel like i never post or interact w anyone anymore :-(#i should go back to using this place as a diary
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also while I’m on tumblr tonight I know the fandom poll devolving into angry overly serious infighting about whose ship is the best is probably the accurate representation of fandom. but y’aaaaaaaaall are you 14 still
#Afton hums#someone accusing the pirates of being awful and then counteraccusing the super heroes as being military propaganda#can we not just sit down and go I want my favorite to win#and throw grass at each other#basically it was entertaining until tumblr started suggesting me the posts of people sniping at each other directly#I Hope op of that tournament isn’t getting harassed lmao
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I just found the cutest worm in my apple 🥺 it was a very nice orangey salmon pink and like 3 mm long
#Tbc it was an apple from the tree in our yard so it's 100% fine and normal to find a worm#Because the only quality control those apples go through is me looking at them and being like 'yeah that looks edible' and yoinking it off#But it was just funny because I was eating it while watering some plants so I wasn't paying attention to the apple#And I glanced down and this lil guy was just sitting where I had just bitten off a chunk lookin at me like 'bro wtf my house'#Anyway I fucking love nature and animals and there is so much biodiversity in one yard#I was going around kicking all the puffy dandelion heads to spread the seeds more#And I walked into one corner of the yard and looked down and the grass below was *teeming* with life#Like it looked like the plants were moving#Because there were so many little crickets hopping around#And also the echinacea is in full bloom surrounded by raspberries so there are So! Many! Bees!#They're all out here in their lil puffy sweaters!!#RHSLDHOKSBDHKSDHSK THE NATURAL WORLD IS SO FULL OF WONDER AND I AM SO FULL OF LOVE#Anyway shoutout to Coyote Peterson and the Brave Wilderness yt channel for making me be normal about bugs#Because to be clear I absolutely do still have a phobia of them#But! They're just so shaped!#Edit: sure hope that worm didn't have any roommates because if so. uh. I ate them :/#I'm pretty sure it was just the one though#It was right at the bottom in the like fuckin butthole of the apple (idk what it's called); it looked like it was full of dirt and goo#(which I assume is the worm's poop and other slime idk)#I thoroughly rinsed it off with the garden hose so we good
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Gods, why did you have to make this cool post so goddamn grim? It's a cool little robot dude, not Skynet.
Saw someone mention the new Boston Dynamics' robot was introduced like a Souls boss. Was not expecting it to come out so creepy.
#ease up#it's spring#go to the park and sit out in the sun#pet a dog#I'm not just telling you to touch grass#I'm telling you to enjoy life#it's not as horrifying as the internet makes it seem#yeah bad things happen#but can we just enjoy a weird little robot dude?
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idk how to tell ppl mad about AOC losing. that liberal revisionism will not save them. like 1) you can't pull it off 2) it won't work even if you could 2b) it is too late for it to work. you can't reset the clock and declare the end of time for another generation on account of, if we dont do something THIS generation nobody is gonna get to have grandkids
#it has been said but it is really something to watch the liberals with edgy branding go#like in a real way i need to get better at convincing people on this one. like i am not sitting here telling u that my#political analysis is stunning or whatever. these are skills i am developing. i am nowhere intermediate in my amount of reading theory etc#but people really are fooled by branding. and unconvinced by like. evidence? the material substance of the world? and like#IS lying a known exploit?? bc. we r falling for marketing#like listen. communists want us all to meet on the grass but i am trying to find people among the signs and symbols#bc you go “meet me on the grass” and they go “i AM on the grass” and then you look and theyre standing on astroturf
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