#Watermelon tourmaline!Poopypants

[pirate-autobot]

The Experiment: Ch. 24

Captain Underpants realizes he has issues. But he’s also not alone...

The CU gem au is by @angerydj

As much fun as it was, something didn’t sit right with Captain Underpants. Something about Tourmaline, about the name the boys had given him against his will.

How could you let them do that?

It’s out of fun! Nobody is going to get hurt!

You stupid gem!

Captain Underpants groaned. He was walking through the hallway, but had to stop and lean against a wall, holding his gem. He told the boys he needed some air, and left them to their drawing and writing. They should be done with them all by now.

Now every infant and teacher in the school will now know the name... Professor Poopypants. But also to make Captain Underpants feel better they included in the back of the book how other gems could make their own ridiculous name.

It was his idea. It was to make the bad thoughts leave him alone. It didn’t work.

You’re the one who can’t take a hint, and go away!

FOOL!

The agate gasped, feeling like his gem was hit by an unknown force. He squeezed his eyes shut. Everything started to heat up again. He had to calm down, focus on something else.

Think of Harold and George, the smiles of the infants. Think of them learning and growing and...

Little brats

Think of Edith. Her beautiful blue spots that glowed when she was happy. Her eyes sparkled like light dancing on ocean waves...

She’ll never love you

Think of... Something! Anything! 

He gasped like a fish out of water stumbling out of the school, leaving blackened char footprints in his wake. He fell onto his back and squeezed his eyes shut.

When he opened them, he wasn’t on the ground. He was sitting up in the shade of a great building. He was wearing his old agate uniform. He stood and saw his reflection in the mirror. Captain underpants sniffed and rubbed at the scratches and tear streaks on his face.

‘You’re a disgrace’ the other agates teased. They called him weak. Perhaps he was. He cared too much for the other gems, not just the agates. He thought pearls shouldn’t be servants. This and other thoughts made his superiors warn him... He was starting to sound like the rebels on Earth. He could be shattered for it.

Someone cleared his voice behind him. Captain Underpants turned. A fog blocked the new gem that approached him.

“Hey.” He said

“Hey what? Come to laugh at me like the others?” Captain Underpants asked, spots flaring. The hidden gem sighed.

“I’m.... I’m sorry. They were out of line, all of them. You didn’t deserve that.” Came the voice

Captain Underpants was surprised. Tears began to flow once more.

“Thank you.” He said with a smile and a sniffle. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply

He let the air out and opened his eyes. He was back on the ground in front of the school. The bad thoughts must have calmed down at the memory.

Captain Underpants sat up and noticed the sign. Whatever it said, the agate pulled the letters off. He hummed and spelled out “Tra-la-la”. Something didn’t look right, so he kept adding A’s.

“Eleven.” Came a voice. Captain Underpants turned around.

She was a strange looking gem. Squared hair, tinted visor, a star clear on her outfit. He tilted his head but smiled at her.

“Hello.” He greeted, “Eleven what?”

“A’s.” She answered

“Hm. Of course.” Captain Underpants responded, opening the small box below the sign that held the extra letters.

The strange gem knelt down next to him, pulling out more A’s. Captain Underpants was surprised to see two gems on her hands.

Fusion...

“Are... Are you a fusion?” He asked. She looked at him. He wished he could see her eyes behind the visor.

“And what are you?” She asked

Nothing...

Captain Underpants glanced down at his gem. No gem should be shaped the way his is. No gem should have bad thoughts and strange memories like he does. He noticed the crack had somehow grown bigger. It might be more noticeable now.

“I don’t know.” He answered with a shrug.

“Hm.” The gem stood, crossing her arms. “I thought you were a superhero. Protector of the colony, helper of infant gems, defender of truth, justice...”

“And all things pre-shrunk and cottony.” Captain Underpants finished, standing up. He stared at the strange gem, the looked away, tapping his fingers together. “Have we... Do I know you?” He looked back at her.

“The other one does.” She responded. It was an answer the agate was not expecting.

“Oh.” he said softly. She put a hand on his shoulder, closing the distance between them.

“Here’s a lesson you need to learn.” She said, “Sometimes you need to break before you become whole again.”

“Break?!” Captain Underpants said, backing up until he bumped into the sign. He held his gem as if the stranger would attack it.

“It’s an expression. Don’t take it literally.” She said, walking away. She paused and looked over her shoulder. “Or maybe... Do take it literally. Might help with your bad thoughts.”

Captain Underpants stared at her until she was out of sight. Today was very strange for him. And it became stranger when the front doors of the school burst open. Professor P was dragging George and Harold by the back of their shirts to him.

“There you are.” He said, dragging them along as he stomped up to the agate. “I have been looking everywhere. Do you know what these two little neophytes have been up to?” He finally let go of the boys. Captain Underpants looked back at the infants.

“They don’t look like nephrites to me.” He commented, making the boys giggle.

“What? No not nephrites! Just look at what they have made!” Said the professor as he held out the comic.

Captain Underpants had not read it when the boys were done. He flipped through the pages curiously.

“We should bubble them probably, like, forever!” Said the angry professor

“Hm.” Said the agate. “Oh my. This is not a comic. This... Is a History book.” The Tourmaline snatched the comic out of his hands. George and Harold giggled to themselves. Captain Underpants still believed he was a hero that fought monsters and the villain they just made up!

Although, really, the red agate was realizing the haze surrounding him and his backstory could slowly lift away in time. But this was to make the boys happy.

“And as such, I should be taught in every classroom! And you yourself must teach it.” He went on, “Because that is how good it is!”

“I don’t understand. I thought we’d be on the same page.” Professor P said

“Ah, what page is that?” Captain Underpants knelt by him and took the comic, “I’m on page 9, here. It’s fantastic.” He flipped the pages and held it out. “Look, see,” he pointed to each panel explaining the plot, “it’s about this evil science teach, who looks a lot like you, by the way. And he wanted to rid the colony of laughter, but he couldn’t figure out how to do it. And what’s worse everywhere he would go, gems would be having fun and laughing! But then he discovered someone who wasn’t.” He pointed to a gem and in a nasally voice said, “I don’t get it! Why is it funny?” He flipped the page, “Anti-Humor Boy! Then the Professor said ‘Very interesting’.” Captain Underpants said with a chuckle, “That’s my voice for him.”

“Wait wait,” the Tourmaline pulled the comic back, studying the page, “that’s no Anti-Humor Boy. That’s the suck up Peridot from class. Very interesting.” He rolled up the comic and strode away, looking back at the gemstone. 

“You boys don’t even realize it,” he said, “but your silly little comic book just helped me figure out how to wipe out laughter in the entire co-”

He was cut off when a car collided with him. The boys winced and remembered the lesson their parents taught them: Always look before you cross a street. The  Tourmaline got up again before being hit by a truck that kept going with him on it.

“Wow.” Harold said “That actually worked out for once. Good job Captain Underpants.”

“At your service sidekicks.” He replied with a salute.

“So, I guess this chapter of our lives is done.” Harold added

“Hm, what’s next?” George asked

“You’re the writer.” Harold replied with a shrug

“Probably a look at things from a different perspective. I don’t know.” George said

[tornrose24]

Separation (Red Diamond AAU Drabble)

A certain (and very spoilerific, considering when it happens in the Steven Universe cartoon) familiar scene... but with a twist. (Also bit of a warning: there’s blood/ injuries involved.)

Original Gem AU (as well as zircon!George, sapphire!Harold, peridot!Melvin, and tourmaline!Poopypants) belongs to angerydj. Alexandra belongs to me.

(Honestly I was bored and wanted to write something. Then I remembered something I haven’t written out yet which will require a part 2 in the future).

Of all the gems George and Harold had faced, Watermelon Tourmaline was one of the most recurring antagonists. An old gem from their Homeworld days, he had been quite persistent in trying to catch them as well as Red Quartz when he was still around. It was one thing fighting him during the war all those centuries ago, but it was another when it turned out he was still around and was able to come back to earth.

 But after he found out that Alexandra had Red Quartz’s–No, Red Diamond’s–gem, he became more dangerous than before. To him, capturing Red Quartz would not only ensure a personal victory over the rebels, but would ensure that no one on Homeworld would ever make fun of him again.

Unfortunately it appeared that this was not going to be like old times. This time he had wised up and had enough back up to ensure a different outcome.

He distracted the sapphire and zircon and their allies with his machines while he himself chased after Alexandra in the destroyed ruins that was once Red Diamond’s base. (It was unfortunate that his young assistant and fellow scientist Orange Peridot decided to ally himself with the little miscreants, but he had other things to care about). Alexandra tried to run away, but Watermelon Tourmaline caught up and all it took was a few attacks from the robot he piloted to make the girl crash to the floor with bruises across her body. He wanted ‘Red Quartz’ to suffer, and held off from doing serious damage, but he couldn’t believe how weak the gem was.

“Is that the best you can do, Quartz?!” Watermelon Tourmaline sneered from inside his robot.

“I’m... I’m not...” Alexandra wheezed as she tried to crawl away, even though she knew it was pointless.

She wasn’t able to crawl away in time when the robot roughly grabbed her between two fingers and held her up until she was facing him. “Stop running away and face me like a real gem!” He sneered. “Show your true self!” He still thought she was Red Quartz, she realized. He had no clue whose gem in her stomach really belonged to.

Watermelon Tourmaline gave her a sadistic look. “If you won’t, then I’ll make you!” One of the robot’s fingers opened up to reveal a small tweezer like appendage that shot out towards the child and forced her shirt up to reveal the beautiful shining stone in her midsection.

“No don’t!” Alexandra tried to wriggle free. She had no clue what would happen if the gem was pulled out and she didn’t want to find out.

The tweezers pinched the stone and began to tug at it. It hurt so much and Alexandra was screaming as the tugging made her feel as if her insides were going to be ripped out along with it.

“Come on out, Red!”

“NO!” She screamed as she heard George and Harold screaming for her. The moment they arrived on the scene, their eyes grew in alarm and they ran towards the robot with their weapons ready. 

But by then it was too late.

The gem finally pulled free–along with bits of human skin and blood that still clung to it.

The child’s scream was almost deafening. It was one of the most awful sounds imaginable. 

She was unceremoniously released and she crashed to the floor before anyone could reach her.

Watermelon Tourmaline let out a triumphant laugh as the zircon and sapphire reached Alexandra. “FINALLY!” The robot held up the gemstone that was half coated in blood. “I FINALLY CAPTURED RED QUARTZ! NOW EVERYONE WILL GIVE ME THE RESPECT I RIGHTFULLY DESERVE!”

Both George and Harold had been kneeling beside Alexandra as she cried in pain and clutched her injured navel where the gem once was. They both turned in anger at Watermelon Tourmaline and George was the first to strike. He quickly took out his tie whip and threw it out–willing it to extend as far as it could–until it wrapped around the robot arm’s tweezers.

“GIVE IT BACK!” George yelled as he tugged as hard as he could, while Harold also grabbed onto the weapon and tried to pull alongside him.

“LET GO YOU BRATS!” Watermelon Tourmaline snapped as the robot arm tried to pull away, but the young gems were able to hold their ground.

George tried to pull as hard as he could, but it was clear that something else needed to be done. In a desperate move, Harold took his shield out and threw it at the old gem in the robot. “NO YOU LET GO!” He yelled.

The shield managed to hit Watermelon Tourmaline right in the face, but in the process he pulled the lever for the arm at the same time and not only was the arm able to pull free from the whip, but the tweezers accidentally flung the red diamond into the air.

“NO!” George and Harold yelled when they saw what just happened. George quickly tried to throw the whip out to catch the diamond, but it was like trying to hit a fly with a stick and he missed.

The diamond fell to the ground and cracked perfectly in half on impact before the two halves flung into opposite directions and hit the ground.

“Oh no.” George voiced the fear he and Harold felt as a sinking feeling dropped in their stomaches.

“Ugh,” Watermelon Tourmaline got up and rubbed his face before noticing what happened to the gem. “Oh... well, I guess that’s just as good.” He shrugged. (Though it would have helped his cause if he was able to bring Red Quartz in alive).

“Oh no, oh no, oh no.” Harold shook his head and grabbed his hair as the robot moved its hand towards the broken halves of the diamond. If the diamond had shattered, and the only person who could fix it was now in bad shape, then–

Then to everyone’s shock both halves of the diamond started to glow.

“Wait, what?” Watermelon raised an eyebrow.

“WHAT?!” The zircon and sapphire yelled.

The images that began to form from the broken diamond halves were almost two exact copies of one another. And when they finished, they revealed two very unexpected figures. Both of whom should have been dead and gone.

****

For Benjamin, it was like waking up from a long sleep. He wasn’t able to register or remember much for a few moments as he held his head and tried to come to his senses. 

When he looked up, he thought he was seeing himself in a mirror in his Red Quartz form, who was also holding his head and trying to come to his senses.

What he was not expecting was for the mirror image to flinch away. “Red Diamond?!” The mirror image cried out.

“RED DIAMOND?!” Benjamin and his mirror image looked up as Watermelon Tourmaline turned pale pink with shock and nearly jumped out of his robot as he looked at Benjamin. Even though the diamond was dressed a little more causally than normal, and had a faint pink skin tone similar to Red Quartz’s own, there was no mistaking that it was the infamous, long believed to have been dead Red Diamond himself.

“What is going on?” Harold asked George. “You’re seeing this too, right? I’m seeing both–”

“I am.” George nodded as both Red Diamond and Red Quartz were finally face to face, with each persona having one half of the gem that they once had and now had once again.

“You’re–!” Benjamin’s eyes widened as he stared at his counterpart in confusion.

“But I thought you–!” Red Quartz stammered and pointed at his counterpart.

“HOW?!” Watermelon Tourmaline grabbed his hair. “YOU’VE BEEN ALIVE THIS WHOLE TIME?! HOW’S THAT POSSIBLE?! I THOUGHT QUARTZ SHATTERED YOU!”

“Yeah, how are you still alive?!” Red Quartz panicked. He distinctly remembered destroying the evil diamond’s gem in one punch, causing him to flicker out of existence the moment it shattered into fragments.

“Wh-what is–?” Benjamin stammered as he tried to make sense as to where he was. The last thing he remembered was looking at his newborn child and holding her before he gave up his–

Wait.

He looked at the half destroyed, now malformed gem in Red Quartz’s midsection before he looked at his own to see that it was in a similar state.

It was not supposed to look like that. And it wasn’t supposed to be a part of him anymore. In fact, he wasn’t supposed to still exist.

Alarmed, he turned around and the first thing he saw was George and Harold. Both were equally alarmed and horrified (once upon a time, he would have enjoyed seeing that look on their faces and had even longed for it) and they were standing beside a child of about six to eight years old. She was laying on the floor and grabbing her stomach which appeared to be bleeding as the blood stained her shirt and fingers. She was in a state between pain and fatigue, but she struggled to stay awake long enough to look back at him with eyes eerily similar to his own. For one crucial second Benjamin saw his wife in her features–the same freckles, same nose, and even her messy hair reminded him of Edith.

“Da...ddy?” Her voice was barely a wheeze.

George and Harold’s panic increased when they saw the realization in Benjamin’s eyes. When Watermelon Tourmaline noticed that the child was still present, he made a very horrible, stupid mistake on his behalf when he yelled:

“How is his disguise still present?! I thought it’d go away when I took the gem out!”

The deathly calm that fell was a moment of sheer terror for George and Harold.

The moment the zircon and the sapphire saw that the diamond figured out that the child was his own daughter and what had happened to her, they knew something horrible was about to happen.

The fire that began to erupt in Benjamin’s eyes was all too familiar to George and Harold, but they knew this was not the usual kind of anger he had–this kind was the one that was all too rare and far more terrifying. They watched as his body began to tense up and he turned towards the robot and the tourmaline inside it. His clueless other half was still completely lost, but even he saw that the diamond was about to do something unpleasant.

The diamond got up and his body began to flash with light and expand until a split second later a gigantic version of Red Diamond reached the robot and grabbed it. He was not quite at his original full height for some reason, but his form had regained its fire red hue–overcoming the almost human like pink skin tone that he had as Red Quartz and had kept when he originally shedded his original name for good.

They could only watch as Red Diamond tore into the robot. He punched at it and tore its parts off like a wild animal and even the way he was yelling sounded monstrous. The tourmaline inside the robot was screaming in fear for his life and tried to escape out of the robot, but the door was jammed and he couldn’t pull it free.

“Oh this isn’t good!” Harold pulled at his hair.

“Hey we got them all!” Rainbow Kyanite (the fusion of Bo the Bismuth and Gooch the Pink Tourmaline) managed to catch up to them while carrying the easily winded Melvin. Then they saw what was happening, they could only stare in shock.

“What do we do?!” Harold asked George.

“I don’t know, but we got to stop him!” George had no idea what would happen to Red Diamond while he was angry with only a broken gem, but it wasn’t going to be good. Both he and Harold didn’t see Red Quartz looking at Alexandra in confusion (she looked a little familiar to him, but unlike his other half he had no clue who she was or why she was hurt).

“Hey guys, what’s going on?!” The worried Red Quartz pleaded. “Why’s Red Diamond still alive?!”

“Not now!” George snapped as Harold readied his weapon. “Get Alexandra out of here!” He commanded to Rainbow Kyanite. “Melvin, we’ll need your help with this!”

“Right!” The fusion could only respond before letting go of Melvin and carefully picking up Alexandra before he hurried away as fast as possible. At the same time, George and Harold began their own fusion.

Meanwhile Red Diamond continued to viciously tear into the robot as he tried to get to the Watermelon Tourmaline. It had been so long since he felt such anger but this time it was so much worse and he barely registered anything else besides a buzzing in his head, the red in his vision, and the slight pain in his midsection. He didn’t notice his gem not only cracking a little or the angry white and orangish lightning like lines that were starting to flare up across his body.

Just when Red Diamond finally managed to brake the robot into a shapeless mess and was about to reach for the terrified Watermelon Tourmaline, Carnelian quickly grabbed his arm with all four of his arms.

“STOP!” The fusion of George and Harold yelled. While he was taller than the young gems, he was still shorter than the giant Red Diamond to the point that it was like a child trying to stop an adult.

“DON’T STOP ME!” Red Diamond screamed at them, with fangs for teeth and eyes burning an anger. He was oblivious to the beginning of a corruption slowly spreading from his gem–the lines creeping across his stomach and up his arms as he tried to pull free. When he finally managed to knock Carnelian away, he was soon met with a giant yo-yo that wrapped around his body and pinned his arms against his sides.

Melvin readied his arm canon as Red Quartz watched on. He was alarmed at the hatred in Red Diamond’s face–too similar to his own–as the large gem roared and tried to pull free. Why was Red Diamond trying to attack Watermelon Tourmaline? Why was Carnelian trying to stop him?

While Red Diamond was too focused on struggling to get free and snarling at Carnelian, Melvin built up enough energy in his arm canon. The orange peridot took aim and a huge blast of energy struck the diamond in the chest. Without any protective covering to shield himself, the energy blast exploded and the large gem bursted into light.

This time Carnelian was able to catch the broken diamond when it fell and he made sure to quickly bubble it.

Carnelian let out a huge sigh as Watermelon Tourmaline scrambled to get out of the wreckage of his robot. When he was able to pull himself free, he tried to escape, only to find himself hoisted up into the air by Red Quartz himself.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but you must have something to do with this.” Red Quartz frowned at the short gem.

“Me?!” Watermelon Tourmaline spat. “What about you?! Why was Red Diamond fused with you?! Why did he attack me?! Why–?!”

The Watermelon Tourmaline was shot by another blast from Melvin’s canon. He reverted back into his gem form, which fell to the floor, but unlike the red diamond, it didn’t shatter.

“I’ll take that, thank you.” Melvin grabbed the tourmaline and bubbled it as he resumed his usual air of arrogance as a way to mask his own confusion. Red Quartz stared at him, wondering why a gem that normally allied with Watermelon Tourmaline was helping George and Harold instead.

Carnelian unfused and George and Harold reappeared while holding the bubble that contained Benjamin’s half of the gem. It already had a few cracks on it from his rampage on Watermelon Tourmaline.

“What do we do now?” Harold asked, knowing full well that letting Benjamin reform anytime soon would be a bad idea. (He knew what both he and George were in for the next time they’d see him again).

“I honestly don’t know.” George admitted.

“Guys?” The two looked up to see Red Quartz. He gave them a shaky wave before asking “Can you tell me what’s going on now?”

To be continued

[kitkat1003]

Bloodstone

Part one, based off of this 

I changed up the storyline, but enjoy the angst!

@angerydj

It’s fairly easy to convince Melvin to fuse with him.  The little peridot is so eager to please, so desperate for more than a glance by a semi-pleased teacher, so excited for the limb enhancer he’s been denied despite his efforts; he’ll do anything for his simple desires that Professor Poopypants nearly feels bad for the manipulation.

Almost.

He needs this power, this taller, stronger form in order to take revenge and to truly dispel laughter so he can introduce himself without hearing snickers, and Melvin is impressionable and a follower and easy to control so he is the perfect choice.

Their dance is nothing special; he twirls the boy and they meld as one during Melvin’s moment of dizziness and confusion-he planned the dance out that way, the more control he has during the dance the more influence he’ll have on the fusion-and they form Andesine, taller, four-armed; with Professor Poopypant’s hair and mustache and he grins with sharp teeth as Melvin marvels at their height and his two limb enhancers.

They take over a small, abandoned factory-funnily enough(not that Melvin gets the humor) the factory used to create limb enhancers-and begin to build, two brilliant minds working as one and creating many, many drones that will suck the laughter out of the heads of infant and adult gems alike.

They have to steal things, and that takes more convincing Melvin on the Professor’s part; the peridot is a rule follower down to the letter, but a few well placed comments on how the school and the world they are living in undermines the Authority and ‘they are doing this to fix it’ is enough to sway Melvin’s worries and doubts.

He doesn’t realize that Melvin can hide things from him while they’re fused, that the boy is growing distant and hesitant on their plan; at least not until it is much too late.

At one point Melvin mentions how much school he is missing during this, and that sparks fear in Professor Poopypant’s heart, because there is the Red Zircon and the Yellow Sapphire that he remembers with a burning rage and a hint of terror because the twin nightmares that are George and Harold could stop them, and he will not allow himself to be stopped again.

The boys are walking home, to their haven of comic book making and creativity, and George has to pull Harold out of the way of a blast sent from one of the fusion’s limb enhancers.  Andesine-it’s getting harder to separate themselves in their shared mind-grins down at them with maniacal intentions, and the two boys shake, gripping each other as Andesine takes aim-

But then, a tear.

Melvin takes a stand, ripping himself away because he never wanted to hurt anyone, never wanted to do anything like this, figuring out that this is too much and Andesine is falling apart but Professor Poopypants refuses to lose again, so he grips Melvin’s fleeing mind and they struggle as Melvin tries to escape and Professor Poopypants tries to force him to stay.

George and Harold watch in horror for a moment before becoming resolute, taking each other’s hands and glowing to create their own fusion, but  Andesine’s white, struggling form falls just as George and Harold begin to combine and the two near fusions collide in a world of white and pain before it all becomes black.

They wake up as one, but at the same time they are four, too many eyes-legs-feet-arms-voices as they try to stand, glowing green veins pulsating painfully with each labored breaths through two mouths.  The world is tinted red through their visor, and each of their multicolored gems gleam in the sunlight as their legs tremble beneath their weight, and they all want out, for a moment they are threatened to fall apart-

But one voice clamors around the scared, pained ones, and that voice pulls them together with a violent tug and shout until the other three go silent in fear and they move, dragging the extra limbs behind them as they shamble to the school, mind set on nothing but pain and destruction.

They are Zircon, Sapphire, Peridot, Watermelon Tourmaline, Bloodstone.

Krupp sits at his desk with his work and Captain floats by his side, humming a soft tune and watching the way his Benny’s eyes focus and nearly glaze over while looking down at the screen, but a harsh scream causes the both of them to jump and move to the window, Captain jumping out and grabbing Benny in his arms as he does so, but he nearly drops the Red Agate at the sight that beholds them.

A…monster is the most apt term, but they both know it’s a botched fusion, can see the sharp, glasses-like shaped gem that belongs to Professor Poopypants and the half of a mustache that is just another sign of the crazed scientist, but it’s the other three gems that cause them to gasp, to pause in horror.

Captain sets Benny down as they recognize the visor and triangle gem of Melvin, and even more worrying, the rectangle shaped gem and tie of George, and the circle shaped gem and stripes of Harold.

The shambling, lumbering mess nearly roars out of its two drooling mouths, one eye-that must be Professor Poopypant’s eye-locking onto them with a harsh, manic glare and forcing the fusion forward, the huge limb enhancer arm swinging forward and grasping Captain in its large fingers, pulling him up towards its mess of a face, and on instinct Krupp summons his whip, throwing it out and lassoing another arm and Captain pushes the fingers off of him and begins to escape their grip.

The sound of sizzling skin could have been the noise that burned itself into Krupp’s brain, but the sound that lodged itself into his mind and pierced his heart was instead the pained, horrible scream that came from the beast’s mouth, because it was not Professor Poopypant’s voice, it was not Melvin’s voice-which would be just as painful, but somehow less impactful-, George and Harold’s voices cry out in unison, echoing across the school campus and the city.  Captain breaks free of the fusion’s grip and has to dodge a shot from the same hand that had held him just a half a minute later, and Krupp hates himself as he summons another whip and grasps another arm, taking both burning ropes and desperately blocking out the crescendoing screams of agony amidst the angry roars as he pulls the huge fusion down, the trembling legs giving out under the pressure and causing the fusion to fall, face first, to the ground.

Captain places a soft hand on Krupp’s shoulder as the two whips disappear-the marks remain, singed black and the screams become pained moans and Krupp wants the sounds to stop-and they stare, looking into the large eyes; all but one is leaking harsh tears that sizzle when coming into contact with the bright green veins that pop out from beneath its skin, and the eyes have so much pain that Captain has to look way.

Krupp grabs his destabilizer-every principal of a infant gem division gets one, and he’s never used it before but he kept it on hand just in case-and with a trembling hand, he jams it through the visor, between the eyes, and into the fusion’s forehead.

The yellow grid lines slide down across the fusion’s body, and it thrashes wildly with screams and roars and cries and it so easily pops and poofs into clouds, dust settling to show four gems-two limb enhancers- laying on the fake grass and immediately Krupp bubbles and sends away Professor Poopypant’s gem, doing so just as Melvin reforms.

The small peridot lunges for his limb enhancers, clutching them to his chest with eyes that are wide in hysteria and disbelief as they dart around the area.  For a moment, they lock onto Krupp and Captain, and Krupp is prepared for tears, for sobbing, but Melvin, gets up on shaking legs and runs away from the both of them, and neither Krupp nor Captain have the strength to call his name.

George takes five hours to reform, and he spends two more hours waiting silently-with haunted eyes, eyes that stare but don’t see anything-for Harold to reform, and when the two boys are reunited all they do is cry silently and clutch each other and shake.  Their faces are gaunt and their eyes are pools of horror and fear and tragedy and pain and Krupp takes a step towards them, but their eyes snap up to him and they look so scared that he backs away, shameful and too concerned to put into words.

Captain flies them to their treehouse-they refuse to let go of each other; they once lost contact and they had nearly screamed before their hands had found each other and they fell back into tense silence-and when they are alone Captain cries into Krupp’s shoulder and Krupp swallow a lump in his throat and lets his own tears fall.

The next week George and Harold are excused from school, and Captain checks on them every day, watching as they slowly begin to speak in short, clipped sentences before it progresses into normal dialogue.  They still refuse to let go of each other, but they never were far apart before, so it’s manageable.

Melvin is also excused for a week, and Krupp goes after school to check on him twice, but the peridot is nowhere to be found, his room untouched, like the boy has become a ghost of sorts.  It worries Krupp, but he has his hands full with George and Harold, so he goes to help the two kids he can.

The three come back to school on the next Monday-it’s surprising and relieving to see Melvin, but he isn’t wearing any limb enhancers-, and their faces are tired and Krupp doesn’t know what to do because nothing is okay.

It feels like there is an inevitable explosion waiting to happen, the three boys being their own ticking time bombs and he can do nothing but wait.

So he waits.

[angerydj]

I really like the idea of Professor Poopypants being a Watermelon Tourmaline in your Gem AU. And now every time I see him I imagine him with a literal slice of watermelon for an eye. 🍉🍉🍉🍉🍉

LMAOOOOO I should start drawing his gem and glasses like that it's so cute omg 🍉🍉

[pirate-autobot]

The Experiment: Ch 7

Parent/principal conference! Followed by Principal/council conference. Followed by... well, see for yourself.

Captain Underpants gem au by @angerydj

When detention was over, Red Agate escorted the gems home. He made hem walk in front of him. Because he couldn’t stand their talking to each other. He also made sure they didn’t stop to look at anything. If they did, he would wait for a couple seconds, then click his heels together. They’d jump at the sound and continue walking.

Yes, you infants. Fear the click.

Their homes were near the outskirts of the colony. Small residents that resemble different human homes filled what resembled a human neighborhood. It was strange. As soon as the colony finally adapted to their new lives, they picked up human tendencies and ideals.

They sleep, they keep track of days and nights and what calender date on Earth it is, and some even eat. In fact, an emerald who traveled to the human town returned with seeds. And she is starting a garden. The council debated it, but ultimately decided it was allowed. Some of the food grown can go to Blue Agate to be made for the young gems.

Just so long as no Earth pests make their way into the colony.

Red Agate nearly stepped on the boys when they stopped at two identical houses. But they talked and went to only one. And he was pretty certain no gem received two infants. Following them, he noticed something in the backyard of the house next door. It was still under construction, but he couldn’t tell what is was.

“What is that?” He asked

“That’s my tree!” Red Zircon answered proudly. “My dad is making me one based on the ones up top!”

“Making a tree? What a waste of time.” Red Agate scoffed with a roll of his eyes. “And why are you both going in one house?”

“My parents are still at work.” Red Zircon answered, crossing his arms.

Yellow Sapphire opened the door. The two boys ran in happily.

“Hello boys! What took you so long?” Came a female voice. Red Agate followed them down the entry hall. Perhaps the gem mother needed to hear about the trouble her infant got into at school.

“We got detention. And it was not fun.” Yellow Sapphire answered

Red Agate found both boys in an open space with a couch, a table, and two chairs. Red Zircon was typing on a datapad, while Yellow Sapphire was drawing on more paper.

“Well, gee sweetie. Sorry to hear that.” The voice came closer. Red Agate froze at the sight of a beryl who poked her head into the space. She was surprised to see him. But she also looked... relieved.

“Sorry to, uh, intrude. I’m their principal, Red Agate.” Red Agate introduced himself

“He gave us detention!” Red Zircon commented. Red Agate sent a glare his way, but felt small hands pulling him away from the scene.

“I was wondering when I might see you in person. ” She said, leading him into what looked like a bedroom.

“Uh, wha, what? You were expecting me?” Red Agate asked

“You are the agate in charge of the school, right? There aren’t any other red agates in the colony?” Beryl asked, leaning forward. 

“Uh, not that I know of.” Red Agate looked away, “But on the subject of school, your sapphire and his zircon friend were disrupting their class because they were drawing and writing, not doing their work. I think you need to have a talk with them both about that subject.” Red Agate said, his hands behind his back. He was pleased he was able to take charge of the conversation. But Beryl was confused.

“They weren’t hurting anyone with it.” She said

“They could have hurt someone with their paint filled balloons they were throwing around the halls!” Red Agate exclaimed

“Oh that’s what they were using the paint for. Sorry. If it’s so bad, I’ll have a talk.” Beryl explained. Red Agate was unsure what to say. He didn’t expect the argument to go that way.

“Well, thank you, Beryl.” Red Agate said, nodding his head. 

“But that isn't why I’m glad you’re here.” Beryl admitted. From a nearby shelf, she picked up a datapad. Or at least, it was as thick as one. It had drawings along the back of it, and looked to be filled with more paper. “You are part of the council, correct?”

“Uh. They let me watch and have input, but technically, no.” Red Agate responded

And that was simply how it was. The other gems would ask for his opinion on certain subjects, or he would make his opinion known without being asked. But he didn’t have a seat at the table. Despite being in charge of the infant gem education. At least he knew the tanzanite who took Citrines place.

At least it wasn’t P.

“Are you aware of any other sapphires in the colony?” Beryl asked

“A green one, but she can only see the past.” Red Agate said, “Where are you going with this?”

"I'm worried about my sapphire. I was wondering if the council or another gem could help. He dreams when he sleeps. And sometimes, he wakes up and has to tell me everything he saw. It was too hard to keep track of. That’s why we made a dream journal.” Beryl explained. “He's been drawing a lot, lately. But then a few weeks ago, he dreamt of you coming over to our house." 

She opened the journal to a certain page. It was a drawing of Beryl pulling Red Agate away.

“That’s...” Red Agate started

Amazing? Incredible? Crazy? A good sign, a bad sign? He couldn’t think of the right word to say. Not until he blurted one word out.

“Clarity.” He said

“It’s not exact, and it doesn’t come often. But yes. He has clarity.” Beryl explained. "Here are a few others you might want to see."  

She flipped through the journals pages. There was a picture of Orange Peridot proudly walking with one limb enhancement over his right arm. Another showed the same gem crying over a bubbled gem, his limb enhancer missing. Another picture showed Yellow Sapphire with a shield and Red Zircon with a whip. A machine was behind them, piloted by a gem he couldn’t identify. 

Another was only a gem. It was bright green, but it had garish splatters of red throughout it. The word “no” was scribbled all around it. He had never seen a gem like that anywhere else.

"Well, at least his... visions are only of colony gems." Red Agate said 

"They aren't." Beryl responded, finding a drawing of three gems and a human on a warp pad.

Red Agate took the journal to try to get a closer look at the gems. The drawing was sketchy and rough, but perhaps he could tell what kind of gems they were. A tall gem, pointy nose, looked kind of regal. Had to be a pearl. That short one was purple. Was it an amethyst? If it was, he’d never seen one that short before. The tall one with square hair. That was usually the style of rubies. If a short amethyst was possible, then so was a tall ruby he supposed.

But what was so special about the human to be with gems? Dark curly hair, a wide frame, a shirt with a star in the center. Actually, they all had stars on their forms in some way.

That ruby though...

“Who are they?” He asked

“I don’t know. And he doesn’t know. He drew this and said they were important.” Beryl explained

“How could a human, a pearl, a short amethyst, and a tall ruby be important?” Red Agate asked

“I know Sapphire drawing is not what he should be doing. But this is the only way for him to connect with his power until he fully grows into it. Can you please make an exception in his case?” Beryl asked

Red Agate looked at her. Too many questions and scenarios were running through his head. He imagined gems going to the sapphire with questions of the future. He wouldn’t be able to answer them. He imagined himself being one of those gems. But Zircon would protect him. But the drawings from class were nothing like these.

When is the Cluster going to emerge? Who are these gems?

“No.” Red Agate shook his head, “If I let him be an exception, then other gems would beg for their children to be their own exceptions for menial reasons that do not constitute any form of ‘an exception’. Sapphire was not drawing anything envisioned. That’s why he got in trouble. And if he keeps it up, he’ll keep getting in trouble. The both of them will.”

“I understand.” Beryl sighed. She took back the journal.

“W-wait. Can I get a picture of that drawing?” Red Agate asked. Beryl nodded her head and held out the journal. Red Agate pulled out his datapad. With a snap, the image was saved onto his pad.

“Enjoy the rest of your day.” She said softly

Without another word, Red Agate left the house. The council should be meeting about now.

“Red Agate, just in time.” Tanzanite commented as he entered the room.

“Quartz,” he started

“Agate.” Came the bored response. The gem was leaning back in her seat, her feet propped up on the table.

“First, feet off the table.” He said. She mumbled something, then crossed her arms, eventually obeying. “Second, have you seen any of these gems before?”

He pulled out his datapad and projected the image above all gems, enlarging the drawing.

“Why? Was one of them your old girlfriend?” Yellow Quartz mocked. Red Agate felt his spots heat up.

“If not all of them, then what about this ruby. I thought you brought an image of her here before. She was some sort of intruder?” Red Agate tried to recall the meeting.

A strange gem had been spotted. Some blurry security images caught her, but nothing solid had been found.

“Her? Oh. Oh oh!” Yellow Quartz. “She was spotted again last week!”

She brought up a security image that was the best picture of the mystery gem.

Square hair, a strange visor, a star somewhere on her outfit. But no sign of her gem.

“That’s not a ruby.” Ruby commented. All eyes looked to her for an explanation. “Rubies are never made that tall. She kind of looks like one, but she’s too different. She must be a fusion!” 

“How would you know what a fused ruby looks like?” Red Agate asked, narrowing his gaze at the gem.

“Wh-what? Uh, I mean, I... uh...” Ruby stammered. Topaz and Pearl moved in front of her, leveling their glares at the agate.

“Oh ho ho ho!” Laughed Yellow Quartz

“Knock it off Yellow!” The three gems yelled

Red Agate pinched the bridge of his nose. He felt his spots and his hands heating up. No, none of that. Calm down, or no reef time.

“In any case,” Tanzanite said, “Can you keep your quartzs and amethysts on guard, in case she shows up again? Who knows what she’s doing here.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, but how is she getting in here?” Red Agate asked

“Isn’t it obvious?” A new voice intruded. The room was filled with groans as the watermelon tourmaline known as P made his way in.

“What are you doing here?” Red Agate asked him, “What is he doing here?” He asked tanzanite.

“He keeps coming asking for more supplies and test subjects for his experiments. He trying to figure out how to alter gems,”  Tanzanite started

And just like that, Red Agate summoned his whip and cracked it forward. It wrapped around P and pulled him back. He winced at the heat, but tried to keep his smirk in place.

“Nice moves, but really, how do you think that quote unquote fusion got in here?” He asked. 

He had nothing. Red Agate wanted to say that she walked in, but the fusion wouldn’t do that. Even the gems who explore different the human town haven’t seen her up top.

P untangled himself from the whip. It was a shocking sight. He adjusted his tie and looked at the gems sitting around the table.

“I think we are missing the obvious option. One night in my lab, I detected an energy reading, here in the colony.” P climbed up onto the table. “Eventually, I came to a conclusion.”

“What?” Red Agate asked

“You were wrong!” P said loudly, pointing an accusatory finger at Red Agate. Gasps filled the room. Whispers soon filled the silence that followed.

“What do you mean P?” Tanzanite asked

“The warp pad works!” He announced

From his coat, he produced a remote. With a push of a button, a video was projected above everyone. P waved at the camera than climbed onto the warp pad. It glowed and shined, and he was gone. The tourmaline looked back at Red Agate with a smirk.

In fact, all eyes turned to him.

“But... I tested it. It tested it myself!” He yelled

“Yeah, but you’ve got a little,” P walked up to him, smirk still in place, “imperfection,” he tapped on Red Agates gem, “that might hinder the pad. But hey! A gem is still useful, even if it’s corrupted!” He chuckled to himself.

Red Agate stared in shock. He did not say a word. It was disconcerting. His spots glowed brighter. Heat radiated off of him.

“Agate?” Tanzanite asked

Red Agate climbed onto the table, the same shocked look still on his face. P backed away from the gem that was stomping towards him, leaving charred footprints behind. He felt his teeth sharpening in his mouth.

“Agate! What are you doing?” Yellow Quartz asked

The other voices of the other gems were drowned out. Red Agate was humiliated and wanted P to pay. Imperfection? Corrupted!? He’ll give that tourmaline an imperfection. P fell off the table, but Red Agate couldn’t find himself following. 

He looked down at the cowering gem.

The other red agate was thrown to the ground. He was trying to be nice, and that was the thanks he got? The Quartz thought he was better than him?! Red Agate summoned his whip

Aggy!

Every gem on the council had grabbed on to his arms trying to stop him.

As his fists cooled, he could hear the yelling once again.

He blocked it out and left the chamber, trying not to heat up again. No reef time. Just go home, and cool down. how long had his fce been wet? Was he crying?

Why was he crying?

He looked around his empty home.

Something was missing.

The boys were playing in they backyard of Yellow Sapphires house. They were drawing and coming up with a monster story. The monster was going to be the hero.

“And make him have really big teeth!” Red Zircon said, standing up and holding his arms over his head. 

He roared and stomped like a monster. Yellow Sapphire laughed and stood to join in the fun. He tripped, but Zircon caught him. They smiled and laughed at each other. It took them a second to notice the gem watching them beyond their fence. They all stared.

“Hi.” Yellow Sapphire said, waving at her.

“Dude! Don’t talk to strange gems!” Red Zircon whispered

“I have a good feeling about her.” Yellow Sapphire whispered back before running to the fence. “I’m Yellow Sapphire, and that’s my friend Red Zircon.” Red Zircon sighed and ran overnight to join his friend.

“Nice to meet you both,” she said in a smooth voice. “But didn’t you come up with your own human names?”

That was a secret only they shared. Red Zircon noticed his friend was frozen from the shock. Luckily, he wasn’t the kind of sapphire that took the phrase literally. He took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“M-my name is Harold.” He said

“And I’m George.” Red Zircon added, suddenly looking away.

“Nice to meet you both, again. My name is Garnet.” She said

“I like your hair.” George admitted, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“I like your friendship.” Garnet said. “Hold on to it. Don’t let go. And dance like nobody is watching.” 

The strange gem lowered her glasses, showing her three eyes to the boys. Only one winked at them before she pushed them back on, and walked away.

“That was the coolest gem we have ever met.” George said

[angerydj]

Maybe a good gem for cu/Krupp and poopypants fusion is cherry quartz.

OMG I love it!! Poopypants gem is a watermelon tourmaline the cherry quarts would fit with the red off of cu and Krupp but also keeps it fruity as well!! I LOVE IT THANKS FOR THE REQ 💖

[angerydj]

Also consider: Ruby!Professor Poopypants and half-gem Melvin

i saw poppypants as a watermelon tourmaline because the color scheme is similar to his villain outfit as well  and the fact that his gem is unusual and others would make fun of let alone his name 

but for Melvin idk most likely a peridot (orange) i did think of a pearl at first but i like the tech and smart full of himself vibe and the visors work for his glasses as well 

[pirate-autobot]

The Experiment: Ch. 25

Still alive! Still writing this fic. Meant to post this chapter last week. My bad!

A little insight into a certain tourmaline and his motivations.

The CU gem au is by @angerydj

Ever since he first formed, he had been humiliated. He was just a test gem to make sure the injector was working. He was supposed to be a simple gem sent to the human zoo with the Earth defects.

At least there, he was able to start his own studies and experiments. But they were small, meaningless. Until the day he met Citrine.

With her support, he was able to escape that zoo and finally pursue his real passion: Science!

But even then, he was looked down on. Both literally and figuratively. How dare they! He swore he would show them all! They think they were so big and so tough! Why, if they were his size...

If they were his size...

By distorting a gems hard light form, he could be able to alter it at will. Make it bigger, or smaller.

And so he worked, and researched, and worked some more. Until one day when Citrine arrived at his lab. She delivered to him a unique proposal.

“What?” He asked, annoyed.

“Imagine. Not only would you have a large enough place to work and mingle with other gems, but you could have your own private lab to serve as your base. All the raw resources your need at your fingertips.” She said, fiddling with one of his tools.

“Bah,” he scoffed, “you think it’d be easy moving all of this to another planet?” He motioned to the mass of chaos around him. Citrine sighed.

“Tourmy, pretty please?” She asked

“No!” He said, feeling his face heat up. He crossed his arms and looked away from Citrine.

“Come on Tourmy.” She said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“You’re not going to change my mind.” He said, shrugging her off.

“Come to Earth with me,” she wrapped her arms around him in a warm hug. “And I’ll help you with your project. Please Tourmy? Pretty pretty please?”

“Uuuuuuuugh, alright, alright alright alright GET OFF!” He said, struggling his way out of the gems grip.

And so he joined in on her experiment to ensure her assistance with his. Little did he realize with the rest of the colony how they would be stranded and forsaken by the diamonds. He didn’t care. As long as he had time and space to complete his work, he didn’t care about what went on in the colony.

That is, until the gems discovered Earth humor. And started to giggle seeing his name. He was not going to let this deter him. P is a good name anyway. Simple, easy to remember, and not funny. He wanted gems to take him seriously, not laugh at him.

Not anymore.

Citrine kept her word to assist him with his experiment. He offered to return the favor with hers. All the infants have been given away already. He could assist her by continuing his work. And so he did. 

Even when she disappeared.

Even when he was denied a seat at the council.

Even when that darn Red Agate tried to poof him.

Red Agate.

He’ll show that big dumb quartz what for! It was particularly pleasing to prove him wrong when he caught a fusion using the warp pad. While he didn’t catch the gems per say, he still proved that the warp pad still works. And that Red Agate was the one broken.

With his success ahead of him, and his joke of a name behind him, he believed it was time to unveil his greatest invention: the Sizerator! It was deemed to be the best invention of that year! It had the potential to improve the lives of all gems in the colony.

But when they-

“Hey. Uh, are you gonna get off soon?” Said the gem driving the vehicle, to the Professor still sitting on its hood.

“Shut up, I’m reflecting on my life’s story.” He replied

But when they read his name to present his award, ever gem present laughed. And once more he was the butt of the joke.

He invented a machine that not only could make a gem large or smaller, but it affected organic and inorganic matter alike. 

He had worked too hard to get where he is now! Let the man joke about his name! But he will have the last laugh!

For yes, his size altering experiment was his main project at first. Now he wanted to alter gems in a different way. He will remove all comedy, all sense of humor, all LAUGHTER from all gems.

“Seriously. Get off. I don’t have time for this.” The bored gem said. The professor groaned and slid off the hood.

“Look, how much do you want for the truck?” He asked

“I-uh, what?” The gem asked

“Lousy to save you trouble with getting it prepared, I figured, why not take it off your hands?” The professor said, his hands behind his back.

“It’s not for sale.” The gem responded

“Aw, come on! I know we can come to a sort of agreement!” He responded

“No. No way.” The gem pushed the door open and gasped at the tourmaline blade in her stomach. The professor tasked and wagged a finger.

“Should have taken my offer.” He said

The gem poofed away. The professor stepped over it into the vehicle. Nothing was going to stop him. But first... where was that Orange Peridot?